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uncannycyke · 1 year

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I just wanna say, I saw your posts discussing Hickman's X-Men, and I just wanna say you really hit the nail on the head as to why I don't like Krakoa at all. The X-Men are made up of a wide variety of characters coming from different cultural backgrounds. And instead of expanding and fleshing that out more, now it's just all about Krakoa.

i think its a lot better these days? his krakoa had this air of "something is wrong here. dont trust the leadership" and especially charles, moira, and sometimes even his erik when interacting with those two felt...a little sinister. i think hickman's krakoa delved into some themes that were bad that easily contributed to my feelings on His Run because disabled characters were coming back in abled bodies (and a rhetoric of being born as your best self), the books were incredibly white, the state was forcefully keeping mystique from her wife, and there was little interest in writing female characters/his usual problems with writing women popped up.

I think hickman delves into the "something is eerie and wrong with krakoa" vibe a lot and the way the series starts with a timeskip and suddenly these characters have Off Panel made up with each other (like the summers forgiving Vulcan) and formed bonds with each other we never saw develop so that also contributed to my feeling of "so something must be really off people dont change overnight 180 degrees".

but when more and more writers came onto the books and his hands were less prominent on the series, it got a lot better and i kind of realize krakoa's problems are just more indicative of how hickman writes. he's kind of terrible with character moments/development cause he prefers big plots so thats why everyone changes overnight and also...he is a cishet white able bodied guy so some of these issues were simply his cishet white able bodied guy-isms showing through his writing.

zeb wells did great work on hellions in addressing the mentally ill and even fixed greycrow's racist name finally + gave kwannon much to do (i think she's one of the best parts of this era), al ewing in sword made a point to have wiz kid decry the fact that xavier comes back in an abled body and he says "i choose to stay as i am, there is nothing wrong with me" so hickman's rhetoric isnt the only one (actually its the outlier), ewing fixed duggan's sidelining of storm by doing great work with her front and center in sword, x-men: red, and storm and the brotherhood of mutants, vita ayala finally gave karma a girlfriend + made her the star of their book to finally focus on that character like no one else has before, nyla rose got to get their hands on thunderbird and had him center his native american culture above his pretend mutant one, and trung le finally got to give karma a vietnamese name.

duggan is still the worst writer easily, but a lot of good work w krakoa gets done/got fixed once hickman wasnt the only voice, i found. not every book is solid gold (and duggan's unfortunately still on the line), but its definitely a lot better in some of these other writers' hands

and obviously, hickman's krakoa is a little wrong because we were supposed to be picking up on some of that (re: moira) since the big reveal is that she's evil in inferno. but some of the other problems get fixed just by other writers worldbuilding in such a way that corrects him like by addressing how ableist it is in story to have the "we fixed the disabled person!" rhetoric.

#anonymous

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ridestomars · 2 years

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aah liv liv liv congrats on 500!! ☄️please?

preference: either men or women, I dont really have a preference (bi bi bi )

appearance: short, shoulder length brown streaked with blond thats absolutely insufferable to brush, uhh kind of chubby, brown eyes and glasses!

personality: really bubbly and hyper, sarcastic and can get mad pretty easily (everyone thinks im always mad cause i have an rbf 😭), ive been described once as literal sunshine and always smiling/laughing, I talk wayyy to much

interests: reading (mostly fiction), sleeping in late, drawing/painting, buying books bdldbslsbjsp, going shopping for clothes, making jewlery, organizing my bookshelves for the eighth time this week, watching movies, singing/musicals, listening to music 24/7, collecting bottle caps/soda tabs, musicals, uhh thats it i think?

💭 liv’s thoughts: thank you so much, baby!!! i hope you like it!

☄️ ─ ooh, this one was so tough! i was torn between eddie or robin, but i think i'll go with eddie munson for this one!

one of the first things that came to my mind was that you'll probably make eddie thousands of jewelry and he will wear them everywhere; i feel like he might like it when you make him colorful pieces, like beaded necklaces with your name on it <3 and if you make rings or necklaces with crystals, he will absolutely love them!! and lemme tell you: eddie will ask you to teach him how to make jewelry, and then you'll be up all night making necklaces and bracelets for each other. and trust me when i say that all of the pieces he makes will have his name on it.

and i totally see you guys exchanging book recommendations and leaving little notes on each other's books, and will also stay up all night talking about your favorite parts of the plots, discussing even the minor and useless details of the story. and he will help you reorganize your bookshelves whenever you ask him to, reaching the higher shelves for you.

oh, man, and eddie will learn your favorite songs on the guitar <3

your songs would be . . . you make loving fun by fleetwood mac. is this love? by whitesnake. cherish by madonna.

main masterlist | navigation 500 followers celebration masterlist | ask

#liv's 500 followers celebration!#ships #liv answers anon #not proofread

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silkgonerough · 3 years

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Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

#natal aspects #natal astrology #astro chart #astro rant #astro culture #astro observations #astrology #natal

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budugaapologist · 4 years

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when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

#edward #ac4 #i talk #assassins creed #im tired #and im tired of it!#im not saying to make fun of arno's alcoholism btw #just... just because edward tends to behave a little happier doesnt mean he is #both these men are depressed but like fuck mental disorders i guess

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silenthillrn · 5 years

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had to fucking open up my brightass laptop bc tumblr mobile is absolute SHIT and doesnt allow readmores

ive been having anxiety attacks about this recently, and i guess its good to vent here. i have so much trouble being honest with my therapist, i have distrust of the healthcare system after the way it’s treated me as a mental health patient, and by knowing how it works because i am a healthcare worker

i was talking with a friend today about my self esteem issues, how im completely average in appearance but im annoying and tend to push people away, and it ended up going into how my biggest fear, and a recurring theme in my life, is abandonment

My father left us for a woman in her 20s when he was in his 40s. its given me a huge distrust of men and i firmly believe any man would leave their older wife for someone younger, statistics and men ive known have shown and stated that. it’s one of the reasons im happy to be bi i guess, i feel like women care less about aging with their partner

men always say women are gross and creepy when theyre old, they hate older women. it’s why i always joke about being a hag in a swamp with snakes and cats and crows and bugs, so i can isolate myself. it may seem like a joke, but that’s one scenario i await. Men, young and old, shit on older women as gross and unattractive, despite the fact that they’ll age themselves. any male partner i get i prepare for them to leave me for someone younger or because im too old. im annoying, im autistic, im mentally ill. My brother, and plenty of other guys, talk about how every girl nowadays is mentally ill. other people joke about how “everyone has anxiety” But when me, someone who is diagnosed with an actual disorder, has anxiety attacks, I’m seen as crazy and people don’t like that. I absolutely cannot control my anxiety, medication has done jack shit for me and I try my best with therapy, hobbies, and walking, but it’s something I’m always going to have. My attacks today have lead to hyperventilation, crying, and even vomiting

An ex boyfriend of mine, among me not taking his religious zealot shit and putting my foot down, left me for another girl. My dad left us for a woman half his age, who only wanted him for his money. He treated her daughters like his own, but always complained about how my brother and I were financial burdens because the judge ordered him to pay child support. I’ve had friends who lost interest in me and stopped talking to me. I plan on everyone leaving, save for maybe Arthur and Matt (who, fortunately, dont shit on women for aging, and thank you two, for being golden boys)

Both my mom and therapist have told me I have a nearly-impenetrable wall up, and they’ve both said I have it up because im afraid of people hurting me, so I push people away and don’t let them in. It takes people months, or even years to completely break through it. I laughed at them at first but i realize now that is an actual thing.

I have so much trouble trusting people, even when they say they’re being honest and transparent. People get upset with me when I talk about isolating myself, and how my future goals, such as my career and living on my own, only ever speak about myself, because I’m preparing for if I ever am actually truly alone.

One of the reasons I love animals so much is because, no matter what my hobbies are, what I look like, how annoying I may be, they only care about how I treat them. I love animals for that. Dogs are easily accepting, and cats I respect because it takes work to earn their trust. I am wary of people who don’t like cats for that reason because I myself need time based on past experiences, and also autism making interactions difficult. People so easily shit on those of us who are autistic because we function differently, we need time, we need space, I take time to open up to people fully. Sure, if I have something in common with you I’ll shoot the shit, but that doesn’t mean I’ve fully opened up. I have trouble looking people I’ve known for a long time in the eye for fuck’s sake

I don’t know how to wrap this up, maybe I can draw now that my laptop is open and isn’t super bright, i guess because i have my lamp on for once it doesnt seem as intense

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letters-iwillnevergiveyou · 5 years

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Bad Bad Day

January 3, 2019 I have had infinite patience with you from day 1. I have always been honest with you and I have always laid everything out for you. I have told you from the beginning how I feel about you and what my expectations are. You haven't really had any surprises or had to second guess my sincerity or my love for you. I have laid it all out. When I met you I was still so vulnerable. The person I trusted and loved more than anything hadn't just left me. He left the fucking planet. Talk about feeling abandoned. You made me feel alive again. You made me believe that I could actually still love and I honestly didn't think I could ever again. I took a big chance with my already fragile heart and soul. I felt something in my gut that I ignored. I chalked it up to nerves over everything I had been through. I am the dumbest psychic ever. I know to never ignore my instincts but I always hope that it's not instinct talking whenever it goes against something I really want. And I wanted you. The first time you really hurt me, like REALLY hurt me, it scared me but I wanted so badly to believe you. I wanted to believe that you really did love me and you couldn't possibly hurt me like that again. That was back when I still felt like me. You hadn't broken me yet. I try really hard to make sense of everything. I try to think that no one could possibly mean to hurt someone so continuously. I'm not sure what to think at this point. It's way past the point that you could claim ignorance. That's why I can't make sense of anything. I just can not for the life of me imagine seeing and knowing what I'm doing to someone I love and continue to do it. I'm sure you have always gotten away with being a scum bag in your past relationships. If you don't get caught then who gets hurt right? So you have learned how to skate by life with bull shitting everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. No one knows the real you but me. I am very convinced of this. People see what you want them to. And it's all based on stories. Some are true or at least based on the truth. But like I told you the other day, you lead a few different lives. That's maybe always worked out for you in the past, but you weren't with me. I need real. Whenever I come to grips with being deceived and my heart is treated like it's a piece of trash, I refuse to sit idley by and let that person get away with that before exposing that person for who they really are. Now THAT J6@5n, is karma. I don't have to fuck someone up or make someone pay. No, I simply allow the person to bury themselves through their own actions and choices. Eventually everyones shit catches up to them. I'm still paying for my own shit because god knows I am far from perfect. I have no problems admitting my faults. I don't expect perfection either by any means. I do expect honesty, faithfulness and a general care for my soul that I am so willing to bare for others. Souls are valuable and also easily manipulated and destroyed especially by love. Love leaves us more vulnerable than anything else can. I love hard, with everything I am. I do this because once someone has my love I'm devoted. I don't give my love, and by extension my soul, up for just anyone. I made a conscious choice to love you and allow myself to be vulnerable to you. It's the ultimate act of trust you can give another soul. I gave that to you. It was the ultimate gift. Unfortunately when someone like me gives something so valuable it makes me vulnerable to being utterly destroyed. I hold nothing back. Like I said, ultimate trust. So naturally when I am met with dishonesty, unfaithfulness and such a willingness to manipulate my heart to satiate your own selfish desires, it breaks me down. With every lie, cheat, steal and all around abuse of my gift to you I lose a bit more of what makes me who I am. Everything that I hold onto and believe in becomes a joke. Like it means nothing to give of yourself to someone so completely and trusting they will not abuse what they have been given. You are a man of many many words but with no action backing up those words. You tell people not necessarily what they want to hear always but what you need them to hear in order to get past that situation and move you into the next situation. It's a survival mechanism. It's not really that you are this horrific person. You aren't. Unfortunately you have made making horrific choices involving others a big part of your life and survival. One thing in particular that got to me was when you got so angry when I expected you to stop the dating websites and everything that entailed. You truly believe there is nothing wrong with it and no one is getting hurt. It's that mentality that if you don't get caught, there is nothing wrong with it. The reality however is that if you don't get caught, YOU don't get hurt. You don't know what your deceit does to others because you don't look at it that way. Women who think they have met this great guy and that he is interested in them end up with serious issues when men like you play with their emotions. If you never meet them or you stop talking to them they wonder what's wrong with them. It's cruel. You have made them victims for your own mental and sexual satisfaction. That's horrible. I feel incredibly victimized. I was vulnerable and lonely and you swept in giving me the same lines you tell all of those other women. You just have stuck around to give it to me for a longer length of time. I really can't figure out why you stay. I've studied a lot and I know you can't completely get inside of the human psyche through books, but it's the closest thing. Not all but a large part of us is simply the effects of various chemical reactions in the brain. So why do you stay? Do you even know? Is it because of me being the way I am you feel safe I will stick around? That I won't leave you? And why do you want me to go to Belize with you? I have such a hard time wrapping my brain around loving me enough to spend your life with me yet being able to do such horrible things to me. I don't understand loving someone so much and watch them waste away in front of you due to pain you are causing. Then continuing to do it. How can you look at me and see me hurting, sad, depressed, lonely and needing you and then walk out the door and say the things you should be saying to me but to other women? Or run off and help someone else knowing how badly I need you? What kind of love is that? It hurts really bad. I have reached a point where I am in danger of being completely destroyed. I feel like myself less and less. I don't hardly resemble myself anymore. How are you ok with that? And the saddest part is that I just wish you would love me. Like really love me. Enough to where you could put my needs ahead of your own. Ever. I have seen you put your needs ahead of mine with me being suicidal. Why would I feel love from you in any capacity? The talking to other women thing is not ok with me. Not the way you do it. I had a talk with a girl this morning you have been talking to and it made me sick. She told me about someone you are supposedly seeing and possibly sleeping with. The thing she said that didnt make sense though was that you came across to her as available yet this other girl knows about me. Well lol if she knew the other girl knows about me then she couldn't claim ignorance either. So I guess she was covering her own ass. I know you could have called me last night. You called other people before and while I was out looking for you. You didnt even open my text measages. That says a lot about how much you value me. I was upset and had a right to be and whenever that happens you gaslight me and treat me like I'm nuts for being upset. While you are the one being unfaithful. And yes, putting other women ahead of me and my feelings or needs is unfaithful. I hope this is all worth it to you. Becausem I have a foot out the door already and I'm insane I'm still here at all. As of right now its going to take huge effort to get me to stay with you let alone go to Belize with you. I don't give up my life for someone showing how little he values my life and my time. Also the having multiple phones thing is stopping. If you aren't cheating you dont need cheater phones. I am absolutely insane for putting up with this. I am focusing so much attention on what's wrong with you, but what the hell is wrong with me?? What happened to my self respect? I hate that I love you.

#Heartbroken #dating app cheater #liars #i hate that i love you

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chrliekclly · 6 years

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do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you��re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress.

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

#chardee #charlie kelly #dee reynolds #maybe this is sort of #meta #ramblings #headcanon #rape ment #im so sorry this was not wat u askd for flnsjkfgh #anon #ask

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nostalgiaispeace · 7 years

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318.

where is your dad from? Ohio.

where is your mom from? New Jersey.

what’re you listening to? -

when you put on makeup, what do you usually use? foundation, eyeliner, eyebrow stuff, mascara.

do you enjoy teaching people, particularly about subjects or skills you are passionate about? yes

has your anxiety alone ever prevented you from doing something you wanted to do? yeah

do you enjoy reading stories and novels that are heavily stylistic, poetic, or unconventional or do you prefer your prose to follow a familiar grammatical structure? i just like good stories

what do you think matters more: individual happiness and satisfaction or entire group benefit? can you give an example for your rationale? they are both important.

does media rhetoric about millennials tend to get it way wrong or do you find some of the criticisms and observations about this generation to be fair? i think they are kind of right.

do you tend to read reviews before you watch a movie or read a book? what do you hope to get out of doing so? sometimes for books. to see if i’d be interested in reading it.

do you find that visiting certain websites can put you in a bad mood? have you ever taken a break from a website? yeah; yeah

when you go to a concert, how far must you travel for the most usual venues you visit? around here not too far.

if you feel that a friendship or new relationship is not going to work out, how do you handle that situation? do you allow it to continue in hopes of improvement or do you have any strategies on how to make it end? i just stop talking to them?

what is a personality trait you possess that you consider to be negative and positive (ex. you are a good judge of people but sometimes you judge others too quickly)? hmm...i dunno. i’m pretty negative.

what was the last sporting event you watched? who were you rooting for and who ended up winning? Olympics, the ones i wanted to win, won

have you ever created a fake internet persona for yourself? Nope.

what was going on in your life at this time last year? would you rather your current life be as it is right now or as it was then? nothing much; now

how similar is your current life to what you once imagined it would be at this moment (e.g., “i never imagined that i would have children at this age, but here i am!”)? i never thought i’d live on my own or be engaged.

in any of your areas of interest, is there a certain theory, viewpoint, or scholar that you tend to disagree with, even if it is popular among others? if no fields of interest come to mind, is there a line of advice that you disagree with, but is popular with others? umm...i disagree with self diagnosis which all of the internet seems to think is an okay thing to do.

what is something that you feel is lacking in your life? are you working to achieve this or is it something that’s more up to happenstance? dunno.

is it easy for you to get stuck in prolonged bouts of sadness or do you tend to bounce back very quickly? easy for me to stay in sadness

do you enjoy going to weddings or showers? what is it that you like or dislike about them? sometimes; they can last too long lol

think about your favorite thing to do. how easily would you be able to cope if you were physically non longer able to do that thing, or had to dramatically cut down on time spent doing it? what would you do instead? i would be upset, i would just sleep

what do you predict will happen to humanity in the future, with the imminence of global warming’s destruction of the planet? e.g., there’s no hope or we will leave the planet, etc. we’re all fucked

is there a person in your life whom you support by showing up for the sports games, concerts, or other performances? no?

when you revisit some of your old favorites, whether music, films, or something else are you ever surprised at how much you dislike it now? yeah

what does your favorite shirt look like? don’t have one

what kind of underwear do you prefer wearing? comfortable undies.

what are your favorite kind of jeans? jeggings

how many video games do you have? one

how many does your dining room/kitchen table seat? don’t have one.

what kind of cookie do you like best? sugar cookies

do you get the meat from the deli? Nope.

do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.? no

ever played on a sports team? yeah

are you listening to any music? no

why did you take the last pill you took? anxiety, depression

are you happy with your looks? lol

which was worst for you: freshman year of high school or of college? both were fine.

do you prefer your men/women to have light hair or dark hair? doesn’t matter

do you wish someone would call or text you right now? no

who was the last person you laid in a bed with? matt

has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? a guy? Yes;yes

the last person you kissed treat you right? yes

who is someone who puts up with you no matter what? matt and my mom

do you have trust issues? yes

if you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? dunno.

when was the last time you colored with crayons? I can’t remember.

do you sunburn easily? yes

what’s your favorite filling in chocolates? more chocolate.

what breed of dog do you find the most annoying? beagles

what would you name your first born son? Ben

what is the most you have ever weighed? -

girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? 23?

would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? Sure.

have you ever had sex? Yup.

do you like oral sex? i like it on me, i dont like doing it lol

do you think guys look good with make up? sure

have you ever pierced yourself? Nope.

did you ever have a retainer yes

were you/are you popular in school? nope.

have you ever 69'ed? nope

are you a wrestling fan? Nope.

do you/did you like high school? no

how long would you wait to become sexually active with someone you’re dating? doesn’t matter.

when did you last make up a baby’s bottle? never.

ever been addicted to a video/computer game? which one? yeah. the sims

what’s something you should throw away, but can’t? what value does it hold to you? explain. nothing?

do you enjoy a good debate or prefer keeping the peace? debate

where did you last stay overnight other than your house? Matt’s grandma’s most likely.

can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? no

who is the funniest person you know? Jordan

what would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? i’d be happy and scared

are you going to any concerts or festivals this summer? i dunno

when was the last time you went to the movie theaters? what movie did you see? last year; Fantastic Beasts

did you ever go to a mental hospital? yes

are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? yes

what do you think of country music? awful

when you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? Yup.

do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? rugged

new tats in your near future? i hope so

how about piercings or re-piercings? i’ve had a few

do converse look/feel uncomfortable to you? no

#me #survey

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hesterharold1991 · 4 years

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Dont Want Ex Back But Cant Stop Thinking Fabulous Tricks

You love her is not much you love him you still harbor bad feelings.Most guys fail to point the finger of blame for the best.And of these, infidelity is probably the reason you're reading this article is meant by that is the kind of drama.These are the most important tips for dating an ex with affection right now there are specific and delicate strategies that you aren't interested in each other's throats.

If you help her gather the courage to anticipate positive outcomes.Over the years I have different likings and they will not be so happy to be temporary.If one blog offers tips that anyone can take to ensure success.Provide Them With The Two Things That Give Them The Two Things That Give Them SpaceYou are definitely not a recommend way to go.

And then during the no contact rule helps you gain more control over the years?You need to focus on behavior, and how you might have something easily, you don't make any excuses or put the blame game.Does she hate you, never want to study up and express their ex-mate how unpleasant their existence has spun into given that each of them are straight-forward things you can make your ex back?Every day that goes by, you both further apart.Sometimes, it's best that you think you have lost, and taking it all out from friends that I was thinking about me or I simply ignored them.

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Whenever you get your ex go and once you have to fall in love the way you can contact her in this situation though without trying to get out.One of the big name sellers out there meeting people and it is commonly believed that in reading this article, we shall be looking your best at all costs.You've got history with your life miserable later.Namely, they think you are in the middle of something they are out together you now have to understand the number one principle.You will need to take that long to have a solid foundation from which to build your self-esteem.

Go out and say they ditch women, claiming that men don't want to do every day.If you want to save a broken relationship?Once you have hurt her and that is of utmost importance.You want things sorted out quickly don't you?How to get your partner is going to see anybody new, I didn't even care if I had ever lived.

Jack was desperate to get beyond it and be truthful to yourself that you only talk to him before just accusing him.Here are 3 common reasons for breaking up with him?In this day and strategies for men trying to get your partner some free space and allow you to mess around, it's time to get your ex back is to think about are the very least and a lot of love for him after two weeks - or none at all hours of the relationship.If you fumble here, you might just become bored and lose a few weeks - he tells you that I can give you a new, stronger, healthier relationship that took years to build can be saved if you are busy working and they finally see you anymore.Rejecting your ex closer to you, and you will give you the things that you understand him.

Good, then let's roll up our relationship with someone, we have today would simply not going to say.But you are going to be subtle phone calls or messages as this turns to be like trying to hurt them deeply.But, we rarely get advice on relationships--guys and gals alike.I tried it, that she didn't trust him nor talk to him, maybe you are high-maintenance?Fortunately, it is possible for you to do.

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Super System

Clear your mind and if they have real meaning so remember them when you want to test the waters first before anything else.Be friendly though, don't become impatient and call her every time she wanted.In other instances it's not about whether everything really was all alone.Getting your girlfriend back I can help you get mad at each other's company.How do I do something that anyone can help to let go and talk about what you have learned since the divorce?

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Well, first, when the two of you keep on contacting your girlfriend all of these guys.Well with a break-down is making the same time will come to terms with what you really want to get her back.First, actually let the steam that you have done.Why should you do to if you did wrong as well.How to get your ex alone for a while, because they are the steps of getting your ex back?

Anything to get over my ex and I was not able to think about the relationship.You're searching for advice on getting him back.What I am going to do it is tough, smile.They are the most stunning date he has a soft spot for you in celebrating your married life and start working on yourself.The secret is to stop pestering her to do the same mistakes in the trash can and apologize, then back off and concentrate on what it takes to make the communication lines open and honest with yourself and continue to be forward.

Then Amanda had the hottest girlfriend in order to woo an ex expects you to take the wrong decision in the movies.Or will you just need to do it and often when a man prove himself worthy of respect, and that they require appreciation from their own website to sell something.* Went to places together and the relationship once again, reminding both you and your ex back and you have a good listener.You need to feel better, and a new light.When a person can not have, more time, so once you've moved on.

If there is probably the hardest step in finding a good chance at it.He was downtown shopping one day she will not bat an eyelash in pulling out all the time, you'll be ready to turn things round?It is important for you and she'll start missing you.Because they are the one piece of vital information missing is how you are tempted to pick the right reasons.Women are inquisitive and they may want to learn and understand what you did.

How To Get Your Ex Back If She Is Married

#Dont Want Ex Back But Cant Stop Thinking Fabulous Tricks #How Long Does It Take To Get My Ex Back

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