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pelova4president · 4 months

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The girlfriend scarer

Leah Williamson x McCabe!Reader

summary~ Katie’s your big sister and she takes her role very serious. She’s scaring off any girlfriend you bring home. When the one and only Leah Williamson asks you out, you couldn’t resist.

Your sister had always been protective over you, even more since you’ve moved to London to play for the same red club she’s been playing for. You are younger than her and just turned twenty when you moved away from home and to rainy England. Katie knows how it is to be young and to move away from home like that, she wanted to help you in every way she could.

The first month she insisted you’d stay with her (and Caitlin). She drove you to and from training and if you went out, which you rarely did because who did you know other than your teammates, she had your location just for safety reasons.

Katie’s just like that. When you had your first girlfriend she almost ran away because of your sister. They met at Christmas dinner and Katie had a not so nice first conversation with her. “I don’t care who you are but if you hurt her i promise you i’ll hurt you much and much more.” Katie told her after your dad had already told her some scary shit.

So it wasn’t a surprise when she left you a week later. Her reasoning was that she ‘wasn’t ready for a relationship yet’. Katie comforted you when she heard what had happened. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t atleast a bit happy she’d broken up with you. You didn’t deserve to be broken up with but that girl seemed like a player and it was better that you’d broken up now rather than later when the feelings were much more complicated.

Over the years you had a few girlfriends but the relationship was never long and important enough to introduce them to your sister. And maybe you didn’t because you already knew what would happen. If Katie got to them they wouldn’t return back to you. You knew Katie didn’t mean it in a bad way but it does seem that way sometimes, doesn’t she want to see you happy?

So when Leah asked you out after a few weeks of being a part of the squad you said yes. You had your eye on her for a long time now, how could you not. Leah was sweet and your sister spoke highly of her.

Leah had invited you over to her house and since you were still staying with Katie and Caitlin you had to come up with a little white lie, it wasn’t really a lie anyway. “Katie, Cait, i’m going to a friend of mine, bye!” you yelled after turning your location off. Katie might check your location so better safe than sorry.

When you walked up to Leah’s front door you checked yourself in your phone camera and fixed your hair up. God what are you doing? Dating behind Katie’s back and it’s her teammate and one of her bestfriends as well. You knew that this wasn’t gonna end well, how could it.

You were still deep in thought, looking at the chocolate bar in your hands when the door opened, revealing a grinning Leah. “You’ve been standing here for quite a while now. Are you gonna come in and share the chocolate or are you gonna stand there the whole evening?” the blonde asked laughing.

You walked inside and handed her the sweet bar you bought her. “Thought you’d like something chocolatey.” you smiled walking over to her couch where there were already a few snack waiting. “You know i like sweet things.” Leah winked at you.

Leah was a real charmer and that’s how she stole a kiss that evening. “You’re a good captain and teammate you know.” you told her smiling sheepishly. She chuckled and laid her hand on your thigh, “Only a good captain and teammate? I think i’m even a better kisser.”. You chuckled at her comment. “Are you laughing at me! I really am but i guess you’ll never know hm?” she said jokingly offended. The defenders eyes fell onto your lips and back to your eyes again. Leah took your chin into her hands and leaned in to kiss you, you let her and kissed her back.

“I guess you’re an alright kisser.” you said blushing. “Only alright? I guess i’ll have to kiss you again then.” Leah joked and pecked your lips once again.

Leah and you have been going on dates for a little over two months now. You weren’t official yet but you’d really like to. But then you’ll have to tell Katie, now that things weren’t that serious she didn’t have to know you told yourself.

It got harder to hide things from Katie now. You’d go on dates a few times a week and saying that you were going to the gym or having drinks with friends wasn’t good enough of an excuse anymore. So that’s why you decided to move out. You needed your own space, somewhere you could invite Leah over and not have to worry about who’s home.

Katie had her suspicions but kept them to herself (and Caitlin). She helped you move your things and even offered to set up your new furniture. She was horrible at things like that so you thanked her but sent her home later that evening.

You rang your ‘situationship’ and asked her to come over for dinner. Leah arrived with two pizza boxes and a bottle of red wine. “It’s our cheatday, we can enjoy a bit of fastfood.” she defended her foodchoice.

You gave her a little apartment tour and ended it in the kitchen, leaning on the kitchen island. “Now that i’ve got my own space you can come over more and we don’t have to sneak around so much.” you whispered, kissing her on the lips. Leah’s hand placed themselves on your hips and she hummed, “hmm i love that, baby. How about we make this official, us?” she asked you hopefully.

You leaned back and looked her in her blue eyes. “I’d love to Lee, you know that. I just don’t know what to do with Katie.” you told her. Leah sighed and nodded. “I know, we’ll tell her eventually but for now let’s just keep this all to ourselves, girlfriend.” she smiled proudly.

leahwilliamsonn posted on their story

When you were training you tried to keep things as normal as before. Vic, Kyra, Less and you were joking around on the pitch as always when your dating life became the topic of conversation.

“You’ve been smiling more since you’ve been having all these plans and no more time for us McCabe.” Less laughed. “Got yourself a girlfriend?” Kyra joked. You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the blush creeping up on your face. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, crazy girls!” you dismissed. But the trio looked at eachother and burst out in laughter, “Oh my god! Little McCabe has a secret girlfriend!” Victoria yelled. “Shhhh! Jesus why’d you have to yell man!” you scolded the three of them. Even though you were the youngest of them all it seemed like they were atleast ten years younger.

“Wait you really really have a girlfriend? We were only joking mate.” Kyra said with wide eyes. “What’s big McCabe gonna say about her little sister dating..” Vicky jokingly pushed you. “Please don’t say anything to her.” you asked them with pleading eyes.

Lessi passed the ball to you, “Don’t worry we won’t but who is she? Give us a hint.”. You sighed, you knew that you were gonna have to give them a little hint to get off the hook. “Is she on the team?” Kyra asked curiously. “Uh- yeah i guess yes.” you said passing the ball to Kyra.

You looked in Lessi’s direction, watching Leah shoot on goal. Alessia turned around, looking at what caught your attention. “Oh my god! No fucking way!” the blonde scream whispered. The other two girls looked in Alessia’s direction and saw what she had seen. “Leah is your girlfriend?” Kyra more stated than asked. “Oh my god, i don’t even know who Katie’s gonna kill now, you or Leah?” Victoria thought out loud. “Probably both.” Lessi answered her.

“Fuck, i’ve messed up haven’t i?” you sighed shooting the ball way too hard. The three girls all nodded, “Yeah, good luck.” Kyra offered you a kind smile.

Leah asked you to spend a weekend with her, out of London. You eagerly accepted, running away from your problems? Sounds perfect!

The England captain had booked a hotel in Brighton. Everything was perfect, your girlfriend had all kinds of activities planned but most took place in your hotelroom.

y/nmccabe posted on their story

You hadn’t thought about telling your sister about your relationship all weekend, well until now.

anger issues <3

who’s that on your story?

you

someone i’m seeing

anger issues <3

so your girlfriend.

you

yeah

anger issues <3

what’s her name? when are we meeting? how long has this been going on? do i know her?

you

i’ll tell you when i’m back Katie, just don’t be mad please

anger issues <3

Why didn’t you tell me

You didn’t tell Leah, she’d only worry more about it. The blonde took you to play a bit of football. You had a few days off but you both knew that you didn’t actually had vacation. You had to stay fit, especially now Leah had just returned from her ACL.

leahwilliamsonn posted on their story

After Leah posted her story, hell broke loose. Katie knew you were with your girlfriend, she also knew that Leah was a weekend away. What she didn’t expect was to open Instagram and see you on Leah’s story. Leah was the girl you were with, Leah was your girlfriend. Katie had connected all the dots.

When Leah and you got back to your room her phone buzzed a few times and eventually she got called. Katie was calling her. Leah asked you what she would call her for but you shrugged and the blonde picked up.

“Fucking Leah Williamson you’ve been shagging my little sister!” Katie yelled through the phone, her Irish accent sounding thick. Leah looked over at you, panic all over her face. “Katie mate, i don’t know what you’re ta-“ she tried before the was cut off by a swearing Katie. “Don’t fucking lie to me. How long?” Katie asked. Leah was silent for a moment “How fucking long Williamson!” your sister repeated herself. “About three months.” the blonde sighed into the phone.

You could feel Katie shaking her head over the phone. “Fuckin’ hell mate. How did you not tell me. I don’t really want to talk to the two of you right now, i’ll talk to you later…” Katie said before hanging up.

You knew Katie was hurt but you also knew that if you’d told her earlier on she wouldn’t have a great reaction either.

Both you and Leah knew it was time to tell Katie either way. Your girlfriend drove you to Katie’s apartment, you’d bought her a box of chocolates in the hopes that she’ll forgive you sooner. Knocking on the door Leah grabbed your hand, feeling your nervousness. She kissed you on top of your head and assured you everything would be fine. “The secret’s out, she wants you to be happy. Only i will get murdered.” Leah tried to lighten the mood.

Katie opened the door and silently allowed you inside. The three of you were sitting on the couch with still no word spoken.

You broke the silence “Katie, i’m really sorry i hurt you but i just didn’t want you to react the way you always do.”. Katie looked at you and scoffed, “What do you even mean ‘react the way you always do’?”.

You rolled your eyes at her. “Katie you scare off any girl i bring home, the first few times i didn’t know why they’d break up with me but then i did the math and they always broke up with me after they’d met you. I get that you mean it good and you know, things like that but it’s not okay. I didn’t want you to be like with Leah.” you explained. “I don’t scare all of your girlfriends off, they’re just… soft.” Katie grinned as she defended herself.

Leah rolled her eyes at the brunette and spoke up. “Mate, i would’ve been dead by now if you hadn’t found out over the phone.” your girlfriend said shuddering at the thought of what your sister had said over the phone. “Okay yeah yeah whatever. Who knew about this already?” Katie asked trying to have another conversation topic.

“Lia and Steph” “Lessi, Ky and Vic” Leah and you said at the same time. Leah looked at you with a raised brow. “They tricked me into telling them!” you yelled, “Besides, you told Lia and Steph!”. Leah tried to argue but Katie interrupted her. “So basically the whole team knew, except me.” your sister said suspiciously calm. You and your girlfriend smile guiltily at her.

y/nmccabe

liked by liawaelti and 102.728 others

days away 🤍

comments

victoriapelova who is thaaatt??

leahwilliamsonn cute 😘

alessiarusso99 mysterious girls

katie_mccabe11 sneaky bastards

↳ y/nmccabe oh shut up

kyracooneyx the disgustingly cheesy girlsss

↳ y/nmccabe the annoying little kid

↳ kyracooneyx you’re younger

You stayed the night at Leah’s and she drove you to London Colney. Walking into the training centre the girls were already singing Strawberry kisses in the gym. The two of you walked hand in hand and when Jen saw that she yelled “Look who finally told scary McCabe!”.

When you kissed Leah on the lips after training you heard all kinds off ‘whoos’ and ‘oeeehhs’ around the room. Leah and you walked out of the training centre but Leah got pulled back by your sister. “Can i talk to you for a minute?” she asked Leah.

The two of them walked back into the centre and Katie spoke again. “So i guess my little sister wouldn’t appreciate this but you know, i need to. If you ever hurt her feelings or think about hurting her in any shape or form, i’m gonna hurt you. And don’t think i won’t just because you’re my friend and captain alright?” Katie said trying to intimidate Leah. “All clear mate.” Leah spoke tapping your sister on her shoulder. “Okay so now i’ve done my part , i know you make her happy and you love her. I love you both very much and i guess you’d be an alright sister in law.” Katie joked before bringing Leah in for a hug.

y/nmccabe posted on their story

kyracooneyx posted on their story

leahwilliamsonn posted on their story

Dating Leah had it’s perks, she drove you to training every day, made sure you were on time, she was the captain and was the perfect model for all your photos. And the biggest positive, Katie and your girlfriend got along which was the first time Katie got along with any of your girlfriends.

The teasing however never stopped. Kyra called you a simp and gagged whenever you and Leah showed any physical affection to eachother. Vic laughed every time you tripped over your feet when looking at Leah flexing her muscles in the gym. You thought that Lessi would have some sympathy but she was just as bad, joking about your love eyes and how you were such a softy now.

Katie was just like always, protective but on a distance. Leah was there to protect you now.

leahwilliamsonn, y/nmccabe

liked by keirawalsh and 183.729 others

little bit of everything and a whole lot of you.

comments

katie_mccabe11 disgusting 🤢

liawaelti cuteee!!

kyracooneyx mccabe’s a simp

↳ y/nmccabe wrong mccabe insta account xx

victoriapelova more clumsy than lessi these two

↳ leahwilliamsonn i’m not clumsy!

↳ victoriapelova y/n is clumsy enough for the both of you

alessiarusso99 lovey dovey eyes 😍

russovicx23 they’re so cutteeee

arsenalw0men1 i’m convinced they’re soulmates

A/N i’ve just seen anyone but you and i actually liked it?! Normally i hate romcoms but this one was actually good. The song ‘Anyone but you’ by Still Woozy is so so so sooo good. Anyway, the second Leah fic is hereee!!

I also kinda want to write a Sydney Lohmann x Georgia Stanway x Reader fic… any ideas??

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #leah williamson #woso community #victoria pelova #arsenal wfc #engwnt #alessia russo #kyra cooney cross #leah williamson x reader #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe

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natailiatulls07 · 8 months

Text

The golden trio Pt 2

Lando Norris x female!reader

Carlos Sainz x female!reader

Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc

Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??

Warning - offensive names hate comments swearing

The golden trio

Twitter

username Charles and Max haven’t posted anything any where since the other day when we saw Y/n walking out, she must of hurt them hard 😟

username Ikr, I feel so bad for them right now 😞

username And Lando posting a instagram story of her at a party 🙄 We knew she never liked them

f1gossip

Spotted: Y/n L/n was seen hanging out with Lando Norris and the quadrant group the night after she was seen leaving her shared apartment seemingly annoyed. She’s probably moving onto the Lando and the quadrant now that her lestappen trust fund has ended

Liked username and 2,193 others

username This bitch really is the ultimate gold digger

username I don’t get how some people like her, she’s a walking red flag 🚩

y/nismywife07 Have you ever considered that you don’t know her story or what goes on behind the scenes?! 😑

username Max and Charles will be much better without her stg

username I’m sick of her shit like omg go away hoe

Text (Red: Charles) (Orange: Lando)

Hey mate, I just want to check in on Y/n. She hasn’t really been texting me or Max, we understand why. We just want to make sure she okay

Yeah, she’s alright. I had to force her off social media after she saw that one gossip instagram account

I know, Max showed them to me and we’re both very annoyed how they portrayed her even though they don’t know what happened really

Can I ask a question?

Of course, go on

Why? Why did you say those things to her and make her believe those things they say about her?

Me and Max were upset that she was felt ashamed to be in the paddock, I guess we just switched off and we just said those things

Okay, I won’t say that she’ll be back with you guys soon that’s not my place to say

I understand, just look after her for us

Will do

charles_leclerc

Me, Max and Y/n have been friends for years now. She was this shy girl whose father was working at karting, that’s how we met her. Y/n has never asked us for money, so I don’t understand how you can comment those things about her.

Y/n is the sweetest girl ever, like that one time me and Danny FaceTimed her and she showed us her new stuffy.

So please, listen to what we say for once and stop hating her, she never deserved it or never will deserve it.

Liked by arthur_leclerc and 69,283 others

Comments are disabled

maxverstappen1

This is the girl who brightens mine and Charles’ day, always have since our younger days. However those fake and disgusting comments have ruined that, they have taken that sunshine from us. So please quit it, you don’t know what goes on and that means you don’t have the right to have an opinion.

She is a girl who doesn’t like dentists, loves rainy days and cries at those animal charity videos. And we love her for that.

Y/n has never ever been a gold digger, never slept with either of us or asked for anything off us.

Liked by danielricciardo and 72,274 others

Comments are disabled

Twitter

username Anyone else see Max and Charles’ instagram posts

username Yeah, maybe we were wrong about her

username See this is karma, you guys were hating on this poor girl when she didn’t deserve any of it

~~ Liked by Max33Verstappen and Charles_Leclerc

landonorris posted to his story

Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius

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wlntrsldler · 3 months

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would've, could've, should've | luke castellan

series masterlist | prev | next

series description: zeus!reader x luke castellan; the series of events that happened between you and luke before and after his betrayal. doesn't follow canon.

i. if you never touched me, i would’ve gone with the righteous.

you could pinpoint the exact moment when your world was thrown off its axis. you were fourteen. it all happened so fast. the four of you were running, trying to reach the safety of camp half-blood, the commands of your younger sister sounded like nails on a chalkboard. you hated when she yelled at you; she always sounded like she knew better than you did, as if you didn’t go through the same things as she did, as if you weren’t older than her. whenever thalia talked to you, it felt like her words were daggers digging themselves deeper and deeper into your chest. there was never a time when you didn’t feel incompetent when you were with her.

“she’s more like our mom,” you heard her say to luke once. you were sitting with annabeth a few feet away, roasting a marshmallow on the fire you made. you’d stolen a bag from the walmart you stopped at a few miles back. the young girl was talking about something beside you, but your attention was on the conversation your sister was having with luke.

“that’s not a bad thing,” he replied. “the less we’re like that parent, the better.”

you never thought that you’d miss the feeling of incompetence. you never thought you’d want to hear your sister’s criticizing voice just one more time. one minute, you were looking over your shoulder, ready to stand up for yourself for the first time, ready to yell at thalia to run faster, to catch up, while dragging annabeth’s small hand in yours, hoping that her short legs won’t give out; the next, luke was picking up the young girl and placing a hand on your back, shoving you with all his might, but thalia was nowhere to be found. the sound of your name died on thalia’s lips.

you don’t remember much after that. you could feel the specks of dirt on the side of your face and the drops of water slowly soaking the clothes you were wearing. you can hear someone crying– beth, you realized– and the whispers of someone else muttering, you’re okay. i’m here. you’re okay. we’re safe. you thought you twisted your head to look at your two companions, but the more you tried to move, the more frustrated you got. you couldn’t move. why couldn’t you fucking move?

“shit,” the same voice. luke. you heard his footsteps coming closer, beth’s tiny steps echoing after him. “fuck, beth, go call for help.”

the rain was stronger now. you hated the feeling of clothes sticking to your skin. the water was making the ground muddy and you could hear the sounds of it squelching under your ear. you felt dirty. you wanted to scrub your skin until it was raw.

“hey, hey,” luke was kneeling beside you. his voice was shaky, “y/n, can you hear me?”

you wanted to nod, but you couldn’t.

“shit,” he repeated. he stood up, cupping his hands around his mouth, “help! someone please help!”

you woke up days later, in the middle of the night, gasping for air, drenched in sweat. luke and annabeth were passed out somewhere on one of the beds lining the cabin. they’d woken up days earlier than you did, but their bodies were too weak. chiron instructed them to stay in the infirmary until they could walk again without any assistance.

it hurt to sit up. the groans that left your lips made annabeth stir in her bed, but she didn’t wake up. you envied her ability to sleep through the noise but she was just a kid, she deserved to sleep. you recalled the nights the four of you spent in the caves you considered shelter, taking guard shifts while annabeth slept through the night. the agreement to not let her take guard, she was too young, she was just a child, was one of the few times you felt thalia valued your opinion.

luke, who woke at the smallest sounds, jolted awake at your noise. even before he ran away, he trained himself to wake up at the smallest things. his mom was unpredictable. a slight breeze of air could mean that she woke up in the middle of the night to walk on their roof, mumbling incoherent words, and the faint smell of smoke could mean that his mom was trying to bake again and luke would have to put the fire out before it burned their house down; luke learned early on that he needed to be alert at all times.

you were staring blankly at the wall. the smell of wet wood made your head spin. it hasn’t stopped raining since that night. you froze at the sound of thunder. there was something familiar in the way it hit your ears. it sounded like thalia’s voice, agony and pain, gripping your heart tightly.

“hey, you okay?” luke’s voice sounded older somehow, deeper, heavier. he was standing at the foot of your bed, blocking your view of the peeling wallpaper on the wall across from you.

his curly hair was matted on his head. his left arm was in a sling, a strap slung across his chest. his lips were red and raw, as if he’d been gnawing at them. he probably was. it was disorienting for a moment because his voice didn’t match his appearance. in the dark, he looked like a kid, searching for comfort after a bad dream. sometimes you forget that he was only fourteen, that you were only a few months younger than him. sometimes you forget that you were just kids.

luke was staring at you, a part of him waiting for you to speak, the other part of him taking you in for the first time since that night. he was relieved to see you awake. he didn’t know if he could’ve handled losing you too. the minute luke met you, he knew you were different. you were more human than any of them, like you weren’t supposed to be born into this life somehow, like the gods made a mistake making you into a demi-god.

you viewed the world differently from him and thalia, but it wasn’t in a way that was naive. him and thalia accepted this world, this life, but luke knew you didn’t, not fully. there was a part of you that still held onto the humanity of it all. luke loved you for it.

“my sister.” your voice was hoarse after not using it for days. it was scratchy and you wanted to claw at your neck until it was back to normal.

luke looked away for a second, clearing his throat. he walked closer to you, sitting on your bed. he let his feet rest on the creaky floorboards. “how much do you remember?”

“i don’t think thalia liked me very much.” your reply didn’t answer his question, and if luke was annoyed by it, he didn’t let it show. he was looking down at his lap, knees bumping into each other as he tried to steady himself. he’d been practicing for days how he was going to break the news to you in case you didn’t remember, but it seemed like you did. he replayed this scenario a million times in his head, but this conversation, your words, caught him off guard.

“she loved you,” he said. “you’re her sister.”

“yeah, but she didn’t like me, not really,” you reached for the cup of water beside your bed. you didn’t know how long it’s been out there, but you didn’t care. it burned your throat as you drank. “i should’ve been the one protecting her, not the other way around. i’m her big sister.”

a small smile crept on his face, “when has thalia ever accepted help?”

you always appreciated luke. ever since you met him, he always tried his best to make you smile, even when there wasn’t much to smile about. he was the oldest of the bunch and he took the role seriously, sometimes too seriously. he had the same fighting spirit as thalia, untamed and wild. they didn’t seem to ever butt heads– not the way you and thalia did, at least. they had a mutual respect for each other, like soldiers recognizing soldiers.

“she loved you,” he said again, trying to somehow convince you. luke didn’t know what it was like to lose a sibling, and he hoped he’d never find out, so he didn’t know if his words were making the situation better or worse.

he knew it was true, though. thalia did love you, even if she had a different way of showing it. there was a night before the three of you found annabeth, where he woke up to switch lookout shifts with thalia. thalia was sitting beside you, a small knife in her hand, ready to strike in case anyone got near you.

“hey,” luke whispered, hoping that his voice wouldn’t wake you. “take a break. i got it from here.”

he’d only met the two of you the day before and he could tell thalia didn’t fully trust him yet. he didn’t fault her, he understood why.

thalia’s eyes flickered to your sleeping body, her defenses faltering for a second, before she shook her head in defiance. she stared at luke, “no, i’m good.”

“thalia, you haven’t slept all night,” he reasoned, “you won’t do any of us any good if you’re not resting.”

“don’t tell me if i’m good enough,” she sneered, eyes narrowing. she didn’t break her gaze. “me and my sister survived just fine before you.”

luke’s face softened at her words, “i didn’t say you weren’t good enough.”

the two of them went back and forth for a while until it was decided that luke was going to stay up, too, even if thalia didn’t want to sleep. they sat in silence, thalia sneaking glances at luke every once in a while. she fought to stay awake until she couldn’t anymore, succumbing to her fatigue. luke didn’t say anything when she fell asleep at your feet a few hours later.

luke was patient for his age. he wasn’t hot-headed anymore, the way thalia was, but he remembered a time when he used to be; like when he was eight and his mom bought him a piece of chocolate at the store the day after she wandered out of the house in the middle of the night, doing gods know what, and he walked for hours, exhausted and sleepy, before he found her in front of an abandoned hospital a town away. she was sobbing in front of the caduceus painted on the wall. he could barely make it out under the graffiti on top of it, but his mom was screaming, it’s your dad. your father is here, luke. look at him.

luke was livid when he woke up the next day to her keys jingling, a bright smile on her face, as she held out the small piece of chocolate she bought for him. she was acting like everything was normal, like everything was fine, as if luke’s feet didn’t form blisters from walking so far, like the tiredness in his eyes weren’t proof of his lack of sleep.

luke screamed at her then. he screamed at her until his voice was gone and his mom stood there, taking his words, not making an effort to argue. when he was having a particularly bad day, he’d think about the piece of chocolate, imagining what it would’ve tasted like if he had just taken his mom’s peace offering, if he had just been patient with her.

thunder struck again, but this time it was stronger. it shook the cabin. you placed the cup of water on the table. you nudged luke with your foot, “what did we get ourselves into, luke?”

there was a beat. luke looked up from his lap then, catching a sight of your face under the strike of lightning that illuminated the otherwise dark room. he reached over to place his hand on top of yours, giving it a light squeeze, “i don’t know, but as long as we’re together, it’ll be okay.”

neither of you could remember the last time you slept as well as you did that night. when you woke up the next day, the sun was shining brightly through the widow.

#frances song fics #frances writes #luke castellan fic #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan series #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #luke castellan pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson fanfic #pjo fanfic #pjo series

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mylifestylearedilfs · 10 months

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⇢ ˗ˏˋ cillian murphy x daughter!reader ࿐ྂ

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WASHING MACHINE HEART : angst ; imagine ; all is fictional ; cillian is a bad parent here (probably a great father irl)

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_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ BEING THE OLDEST childnever had been easy. y/n was cillian & his wife's first child, but she wasn’t wanted by them; she wasn’t in their plans. they were just before marriage when y/n was born, and she totally ruined all of their plans. unfortunately, she wasn’t this kind of child who was unexpected but loved anyway. maybe her mom paid attention to her when she was a newborn because she has this maternal instinct. but everything has changed since her brothers were born; they were the apple of her parents' eyes. they have always had the attention and affection of both of her parents; even if cillian was filming a new movie and didn’t have time for anything, he had time for his boys.

her parents always wanted the best for their boys; they have everything they asked for, and she was in the shadow of her brothers. she never heard her parents say ‘i love you’ to her. her childhood was full of crying and wondering, ‘why don't my parents want me?’ she was jealous of her younger siblings, she wanted to be loved like they were.

but the worst part of this came when she started to be a teenager. she started to understand more than she could as a child, but the nightmare didn’t stop. she started to be aware of the fact that her parents never really wanted her, and she could not do anything to make them love her. she was trying her hardest to get her parents' attention. she even signed herself up for a drama club because she wanted to have common interests with her dad and make him proud. but he never showed up for her performance because one of her brothers always had his own performance in theater, and he chose him, just like always.

she remembered, like today, her play where she was playing the main role, and after the show, she was looking for her parents in the audience, but nobody was there. she was still a kid, crying at the scene because her parents didn’t care about her, even on an important day like this one. she was doing all of this acting because she thought that her dad would be proud of her, and she wasn’t even enjoying it. she wasn’t happy doing that; she just thought her dad would be happy.

seeing other people her age having the best time with their families makes her wonder why her parents hate her so much and what she has done for this type of life. watching happy families makes her suddenly feel like a child who begs her father to pay attention to her.

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years passed, and she had her eighteenth birthday. it was supposed to be her happiest day in life because she started to be an adult, but of course nothing can be perfect, even for one day in the year. she wanted to celebrate this day with her family, but when she came to the living room, everyone was acting like they forgot what day it was.

she was mad. she had enough of being ignored all her life; all she wanted was to be loved by her parents and have a bit of attention this day. without thinking, she grabbed the family photo she wasn’t even be at and threw it on the floor. watching as the glass broke into small pieces.

“what is wrong with you y/n?!” her dad snapped at her, didn’t understanding what she was doing.

“what is wrong with me?! you-” she didn’t realize that tears were streaming down her cheeks. “you don’t care about me; you don’t give a shit about me” cillian wanted to say something, but she interrupted him. “you shouldn’t just make people if you are going to treat them like shit and make them think they do something wrong their whole life.” at this moment, she just broke into tears as she looked at her father’s face, and without saying a word, she came back to her room.

she didn't deserve it. she didn't deserve it at all.

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⇢ ˗ˏˋ thank you for attention! and im sorry for any mistakes. and remember it’s all fictional, cillian is probably great father but i wanted to write something like this. take care!

#cillian murphy #oppenheimer #angst #unhappy ending #sad imagines #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x fem!reader #angsty #toxic parents #toxic relationship #toxic family #deserve better

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samgirl98 · 8 months

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Mending a Family 24/?

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I'm not too proud of this chapter. It feels a bit disjointed, but I needed certain things to happen to progress the story a bit. Sorry if it's not my usual standard of writing. Let me know what you think

Dick was with his siblings. They were playing with Mar’i. Soon, she would start school, and he was terrified of letting her go alone.

She was his baby; she was too young.

Tim came up to him, holding a cup of coffee. Dick frowned at his younger brother. Tim had the audacity to smirk and take a sip. His bags were prominent. The brothers stood next to each other in silence for a while. Dick watched as his little girl floated in the air and her aunts and uncles chased her.

“I found some footage of Jason close to the Canadian border.”

Dick straightened. He knew his younger brother was alive thanks to the present he had sent Alfred.

“He had a kid with him.”

Dick turned toward Tim, surprised.

“What,” he asked.

“Yeah, the kid was four or five, maybe six, but I doubt it. Barbara and I found the footage a while ago, but I didn’t know how to bring it up. I haven’t found any more traces of them, but I think Jason crossed the border.”

Dick turned to Mar’i. Did she have a cousin?

Why was he feeling betrayed when he had kept Mar’i away from Jason?

“Give me a moment,” Dick said, walking away from Tim. He took out a phone and called Roy. He was surprised the man had picked up.

“What do you want, Grayson?”

“Does Jason have a kid,” he asked without preamble. He wanted to catch the other man off guard. A surprised person was most likely to tell the truth.

“I have no idea what you mean, Grayson.”

“Listen, if Jason has a kid with him, we deserve to know.”

“You don’t deserve to know shit about Jason. You guys abandoned him. How about you leave the man alone, and you and your whole family get therapy? I hear Dinah has some openings.”

Roy hung up, and Dick still hadn’t gotten his answer. How was Bruce going to take this? Should they even tell him without more evidence? What if Jason had a kid and left because he didn’t want the family around his child?

Mar’i’s laughter seemed to haunt him.

____

Danny pouted as Jason took pictures of him. He looked so cute with his little backbag.

“Daddy, are you done yet,” Danny whined.

“Almost, kiddo, just one more picture, please?”

It wasn’t fair for daddies to have puppy eyes.

It was Danny’s first day at school, and his dad was going overboard with the first-day pictures. Jazz couldn’t help but smile.

“We’re gonna be late,” Danny said. He didn’t care about being on time but wanted the torture to stop.

His dad had enrolled him in a school for gifted children. He would be taught in French and English. Danny knew he would hate it. Well, he would only have to deal with it for one semester, and then he could bow out of preschool.

Daddy drove him to school.

He suddenly felt nervous when he saw the building and all the kids entering.

“It’ll be fine, chum,” Jason told his son. He felt his little boy’s anxiety. “Do you want me to walk you to your classroom?”

Danny nodded. He took his daddy’s hand, and they walked into the building. Jason introduced himself to the teacher. She seemed nice.

“Okay, kiddo, you’re gonna be brave, right?”

Danny nodded. He had never been away from his dad. What if something bad happened?

“It’ll be fine, darling boy.”

His dad hugged him, “Now, go and have fun.”

Danny let go of his dad. He looked back one last time before entering the classroom. It was colorful. The five-year-old in him liked all the colors and toys. The sixteen-year-old in him cringed away from the noise. It was tough being two ages at once.

Danny sat by a girl with glasses and blonde hair.

“Bonjour, je m’appelle Sarah. Comment t’appelles-tu?”

“Sorry, I don’t speak French,” Danny said.

“Hi, I’m Sarah. What’s your name?”

“Danny,” he said. The girl smiled at him, showing that she had missing teeth. Oh, Ancients, were his teeth going to start falling out soon?

“Nice to meet you, Danny.”

Danny took a deep breath. If he would be here for the next few months, he might as well make a friend so he wouldn’t be lonely.

Danny smiled at the girl, “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Okay, class, let’s get to know each other,” the teacher suddenly said.

Danny sighed; it was going to be a long day.

____

Jason sighed.

It was going to be a long day. He didn’t know how dependent he had gotten on taking care of Danny.

Now that his little boy was gone, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He went back home and spent the day with Ellie.

He kept the phone close in case the school called.

He never imagined how long the day would be without Danny around. Is this what every parent had to deal with when their child went to school?

He knew school was good for Danny. It would help entertain him, and it would be easier to make friends. But, God, he was missing his little boy!

Ellie giggled at him as she threw her baby food on his face.

“Now, Ellie, we don’t waste food.”

The little girl gave a toothy grin. Jason couldn’t help but smile back.

“Maybe you should go out on a walk,” Jazz came and said suddenly.

“What, why?” He got another spoonful of baby food, and Ellie gladly bit into it. Her little teeth left marks on the spoon.

“You need to learn to deal with Danny being away. Maybe find a hobby to do. You’re not going to feel better staying indoors.”

“I’m fine,” Jason said. Ellie had finished her food.

Jazz rolled her eyes and took Ellie with her. Great, now what should he do?

He went outside and sat on the porch. Suddenly, the phone rang.

Jason picked it up before the second ring sounded.

“Hello,” he said, feeling scared. What if something had happened to Danny?

“Hey, Jay, it’s me.”

Jason felt himself relax at Roy’s voice.

“Hey, Roy, how you been?”

“Good, good,” Roy’s voice trailed off.

“Is something wrong? Is Lian okay?”

“Yeah, Lian is good. How are the kids?”

“Great, Danny started his first day of school today.”

“Oh, ouch, I remember Lian’s first day in preschool. It was tough.”

“I have a feeling you called for something,” Jason said after a moment of silence.

“Dick called me earlier,” Jason tensed again, “He asked me if you had a kid. I didn’t tell him anything.”

Jason sucked in a breath. Dick knew, which meant that Bruce would know soon. Would he have to move again? He didn’t want to lose his son!

Jazz came out with Ellie in her arms, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

“Do they know where I’m at?”

“From what I can tell, no. Look, I don’t think you should worry, but I had to tell you they knew about Danny.”

“Yeah, thanks, Roy. You’re a real one.”

“Take care, Jay. I’ll keep my ears to the ground.”

“What’s wrong,” Jazz asked. She sat by Jason; even Ellie looked concerned.

“My old family knows about Danny. What if they come and take him away from me?”

Jazz put her hand on Jason’s, “Hey, look at me. Neither Danny nor I will allow anyone to break up this little family. Besides, Raven has shielded us with spells; they won’t find us. And if they do, we’ll kick their butts.”

“Thanks, Jazz.”

They sat in silence, each contemplating the future.

@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon @all-mights-asscheeks @ender-reader @fuyu-bitch @ravenswife

#Mending a Family #dc x dp #dp x dc

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ahsokasloyalty · 10 months

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My Funny Clone Wars fix it au headcanons No. I.

As per my pre-previous post - the greatest fix it au of all is the Zillo Beast eating Palps as a fucking snack.

Now, some people have pointed out in the aforementioned post that Sheev must be awful and the Zillo Beast does not deserve an upset stomach.

That is true but let me tell you this. I don’t give a fuck.

My beautiful baby can take a lightsaber and doesn’t get hurt. One rotten sith in her giant stomach ain’t gonna do shit.

The more important thing is that it would be so fucking hilarious.

Because no one is technically at fault. It’s not a separatist plot or some shit. Everyone is fully aware that it was Palpatine’s stupid idea to bring the poor thing to Coruscant, so not only did he endanger the inhabitants of Coruscant, he got himself killed. Anakin’s upsetti spaghetti, but that’s about all he can do, it’s not like he can take a revenge on the Beast. The other jedi are like “ooh well” and go on with their lives pretending they are mourning. Before anyone knows it a new chancellor is elected. In two weeks no one gives a shit. Anakin feels better and feels bad about it, because... his friend is dead? But he feels good? The council with Obi-Wan in lead are happy that no one is telling Anakin what to think about them now and Padmé starts educating him about normal politics that don’t involve admiring dictatorships. No one is leading the war on both ends now so it kind of dies out.

No one ever finds out who Palpy was and it is the most hilarious of options. It’s like Voldemort trying to become immortal and dying severly younger than a wizard normally would. Palpatine wants to gain more power and control all of galaxy and he dies and no one even knows how powerful he was and what he managed. Those who know of course won’t say shit. Dooku’s like “time for retirement” and hides so the republic doesn’t find him. Maul finds out and gets even more mad for whatever reason. Maybe he wanted to kill his master by himself. Of course he still goes for Obi-Wan in a dramatic great ways, always fails and gets hissy about it. Maybe he tells someone but they’re like “yeah sure” and call Obi-Wan that his regular unstable nemesis is waiting for his audience.

(I don’t really know if any politician knew or maybe members of the Trade Federation, I don’t think so. If I’m right Grievous didn’t know either, so Sheevy is just dead and no one misses him.)

And now to the most important part - the Zillo Beast is transported once more, this time on an inhabited planet and no one bothers her ever again.

(In my language Beast feels more female, so it’s she/her to me.)

#star wars #the clone wars #the zillo beast #sheev palpatine #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #count dooku #general grievous #padmé amidala #ahsoka tano

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kaija-rayne-author · 5 months

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I wrote something hard today. It's long. Please mind the content warnings, this one is heavy.

We Must Remember

ON DECEMBER 30, 2023 BY KAELENRHY/Kaija Rayne

Content Warnings: AIDS epidemic, queer death, queer abuse, child abuse, child neglect, mention of attempted rape, sexual harassment in the form of catcalling and whistling.

My generation of queers, the ones who came of age in the middle of losing most of a generation of our queer siblings… we don’t talk about it.

It’s got to be pretty obvious why we don’t. I can’t think of a queer person who knew they were queer who didn’t lose someone. And we all lost when it comes to some people. Freddie Mercury, for one, the lead singer of Queen. He died a day after announcing his diagnosis in 1991. He was 45 years old.

And there were so many others.

I’ve been aware of the lack of people who lived through it talking about this for a while. But it really brought it home to me when I asked my eldest, who is openly queer, if they knew what the AIDS quilt was. They didn’t. And generally, they’re interested in queer history, so tend to be better informed than a lot of queer youth about our collective history. It helps that I was a history teacher at one time and have always lived and breathed teaching it to anyone willing to learn.

So, here’s a story from a time I hope never to see again, but one which, when I look at the world, I deeply fear is coming back.

The moral panic we see now is like déjà vu for people like me. It was this exact same moral panic that caused medicine, and most of humanity, to completely ignore it as loved ones died. To treat human beings without the care or respect any human being deserves simply by drawing breath.

I grew up in the mountains in a very Christian cult-like atmosphere. It was honestly so close to being an actual cult. There really is such a minuscule difference. But it wasn’t an official cult. Just… very poor people backbiting each other any way they could. Praying like good people on Wednesdays and Sundays, but doing anything they wanted every other day of the week. You’d think with all the mountains around, they’d have anything better to do than gossip. But gossip ran as life’s blood. The internet didn’t yet exist in private homes in that piss hole in a snowbank. There were 3 churches in the town, and 6 bars. For 300 people. The closest store was a good 20-minute drive away, the closest library an hour.

Christ, it’s hard to remember these things. It’s been 33 ish years since this story happened in real life, and I still don’t want to revisit it.

But it’s important.

The memory of this day is ingrained on the inside of my skin. I can almost feel the heavy summer sun.

Sad Summer Day

I’m around 14 years old. I’m barefoot, because my family doesn’t see the point of buying shoes for summer wear. Feet toughen up just fine.

I’m wearing a fourth or fifth-hand t-shirt that is far too see-through and cut-off jean shorts. The tickling of the strings falling against my thighs as I walk is a soothing sensation to me. I’m finished with my chores, the horses are cared for, the dog fed, the abusive younger sibling has stopped screaming and throwing things at me because I wasn’t a suitable big sister and had gone to hide in her room. I’m an embarrassment to my allistic sister. I’m an embarrassment to my mother too. If she ever crawls out of the bottle long enough to give a shit about anyone. My brother lives elsewhere.

I stink. I don’t know that or understand it, but I stink. Getting clean means swimming in a scummy mountain lake most evenings. My mother hasn’t taught me anything about personal hygiene. She smokes like a damned chimney and always smells of booze. There is no way I don’t smell bad. We had bath nights once a week in the winter. The only reason I knew my period was a thing was school health class.

I hang around in the barn a lot. Or in the ancient maple tree in the pasture. Ar Bazara is my beautiful Arabian mare. Her hide is the stunning red of particularly vociferous sunsets. She often patiently lets me lie on her back with a book open on her rump while she grazes. My new goat, Esmerelda, is still adjusting to not being the house goat she was used to being. She’s miserable, mourning her friend and old life. I do what I can, but it doesn’t help very much. Goats grieve as much as humans do, maybe more so.

It’s my job, and escape, to walk to town and get the mail for my father, who works more than not, and can’t get to the post before it closes at 5pm. I have no idea when or if my mother will come stumbling in blind drunk.

I hope to see my friend, who lives at the top of the road to the post office. He hasn’t been feeling well. Wrapped up in a quilt in his mother’s rocking chair on the porch is how I’ve been finding him lately. It’s not very odd, it never gets truly warm in the mountains, so people in heavier clothes or a blanket around their shoulders isn’t uncommon. I think nothing of it.

He’s a relatively recent addition to my life. He moved into his mother’s house last year. Esmeralda had been his, but he’d asked me to take her last week and love her like he did. I really don’t see it coming, or maybe I don’t want to add up the clues.

He’s my only friend there. He looks much older to me, but in reality, is likely in his late twenties. He wears dark tortoise-shell rimmed glasses, always has interesting books to read and ideas to discuss. He’d made it out of the mountains, so has seen so much more of the world I long desperately to experience for myself. His butterscotch blond hair is always a curly mess, and he’s always running his hand through it. I hope I can sit on his porch steps, picking at splinters, while he tells me another story. I’m not supposed to talk to him. No one does in that town. We might catch it, if we do so much as look at him. But I like him, and he treats me like a combination of younger sister and wild animal. He always speaks in such a gentle, calm tone. A tone I never hear at home. Except for the day he gave me Esmerelda. He couldn’t talk through the tears he was trying to hide.

My aunt lives next to him and warns me away every time she sees me. I suppose she likely told my parents, but my parents either aren’t there or are drunk. He’s the only adult in that town other than my grandmother, who even sees me. Much less talks to me like I’m a person. My aunt is happy enough to take his money to make an extra portion of food for him when she cooks for her family every day. She drops it off on the porch and will only take the dishes back if they’re soaking in bleach water when she comes to get them.

I’m tanned dark brown. My mother kicks us out as soon as the snow melts and we’re expected to stay out until dusk. But I’ve got my summer colour, my hair is frizzy from the yearly perms, and sun-bleached. The stench of lemon juice in my hair is still strong, but I know better than to not use it every morning. Having my mother yank the black, spiral hairs out of my head hurts worse. But I hate the smell of lemon juice in my hair.

It’s a short walk to a mountain child. Though if you’d called me a child then it would’ve infuriated me.

I am still a child, a very naïve one. I only know the words gay and lesbian because I’ve read the OED cover to cover. But they’re nascent, formless concepts to me. I’m in the midst of my first crush. A girl in my class with the prettiest brown eyes and lush, curly hair. But, I’ve told no one.

There’s sand on the sides of the beaten-up tarmac of the road. I’m avoiding walking on the road itself because prickers from wild roses and blackberry bushes are vastly preferable to burnt feet.

In shade areas, the mounded sand is cool, a treat to dig my toes into, and there’s a place where rain makes interesting patterns in the sand. I stop there for a short time to look at the swirling patterns in that section. It’s different every time it rains.

The air is heavy, like a wet wool blanket, presaging another evening rainstorm. I cuss because it means I won’t get to swim that night. If I want to rinse off, it’ll be in the cold rain. Hopefully, there won’t be thunder. Loamy earth and the particular faintly metallic scent of slightly damp, lichen-covered stone coat my tongue with a musky taste. The lighter, higher sweet honey note of spreading dogbane makes the walk smell like a slice of heaven. They’re poisonous, of course, but they’re beautiful and one of my favourites. Bunchberry shows little red splashes of colour. Orange hawkweed is blossoming, and so is the milkweed. Soon there will be so many monarch butterfly caterpillars I’ll have to watch where I step. The unnatural stench of old, oft-tarred tarmacadam adds an unwelcome element of human activity to the interesting scents.

The forest sings, murmuring to each other with the slight breeze that’s the only coolness I’ll find unless it rains. And the creaks and groans of the poplar and birch trees provide a symphony. I walk by my grandmother’s house. She’s outside tending to her flowers and checking the bird feeders, so I wave instead of meandering over. My grandmother loves to talk. I’ll stop on the way back. I’m later than usual going to get the mail because of my sister’s abusive outburst.

My hands are stuffed in the far too small front pockets of my shorts. My hand is tightly wrapped around the mail key. I always hold it in my fist, my father says it’s a trust, and I don’t want to blow it. A hopped-up pickup truck with a custom paint job, jacked tires, and glass-packs roars by. The boys inside and riding on the bed cat call me, but I don’t understand it.

By this time in my life, my mother has dived into a bottle and never looked back. She taught me to drink on hanged man’s bridge when I was 11. Vodka. She’d already moved on to vodka from wine by that time. In a lot of ways, I didn’t have a mother anymore, if I’d ever really had one at all in anything other than the physical sense.

It’s 1990. Big hair is falling out of fashion, but I still have the perm that my (at the time) stick-straight hair needs to look like Bon Jovi.

It’s mid-summer, the sun is high in the sky and it won’t get dark until after 9 pm. I won’t have to go inside until 10. The voracious bugs are preferable to listening to another argument. And Gram will let me in and likely feed me. Maybe my brother will be there.

As long as I’m on my father’s or grandmother’s land by dusk, I don’t have to go inside. The crab apples aren’t quite ready, but I pick one to eat, anyway. The bitter, tart juice is still green-flavoured, but it fends off my hunger. I didn’t get to eat my food; I cleaned it up from where my sister had thrown it at the wall and took it out to the hens. I wonder if they like grape jam?

It’s not the first time I’ve been hungry. Hunger is basically my ground state. So much so that I don’t even feel it when I’m hungry.

I pause on hanged man’s bridge. Just for a moment, while I warily scan the church parking lots at the end of the road.

They’d kicked me out when I was 12, but if the minister sees me, I’ll get scolded for breathing. I’m lucky, the lots are deserted and I continue on my way.

There’s no tree cover here, but there is down by the water. The beavers are busily building a dam that the men will burn come fall. It makes me sad because I can see kits with their parents. Beaver has a lot of fat in the fall, so it’s good meat.

I turn left at the end of the road and walk past another not-so-distant relative’s house. I stop for a moment to pet the Percheron workhorses who obligingly hang their heads over the fence so I can pluck handfuls of fresh green grass for them. Their slobber on my hands is green, but it doesn’t register as anything other than something to wipe off on my butt. I love these gentle giants, but the sun is lower in the sky, so I hurry on. I pass two more relatives’ houses. I have a tendency to walk with my gaze on the ground, partially to make sure I don’t step in anything, but partially in hope of finding a new, interesting stone or a bone for my collections.

So, I just… don’t notice. I’m in my own head a lot, working on stories. I started writing 3 years before.

There’s a sharp, rattling sound I associate with caster wheels and I look up.

My friend isn’t on the porch and he can’t tell me any more stories.

The glaring canary yellow of haz-mat suits screams brightly from his faded house. They look like aliens to me. Fierce, terrifying aliens. We don’t have TV, or rather, we don’t have TV reception, so the only reason I know what the suits are is because of my long habit of reading encyclopedias.

One of them is roughly handling his body as the other wraps a second roll of cellophane around him, over and over. They’re great yellow spiders as they finish wrapping my friend in cellophane and put him on the emergency bed from the ambulance. There aren’t any lights on, it’s turned off, and the driver has his booted foot hung out the window while he looks at a playboy. He whistles at me and winks. I hear one of the aliens say the body bags are too expensive to waste on trash. One of them fetches a floral sheet from my friend’s home. They wrap him in that.

I stand there like a rock has landed on my head.

I’m mute. I can’t even make myself move to go yell at them for laughing over my friend’s body and trading slurs for him as if it’s a game. Even if I were brave enough to confront adults. Which, I am not.

They very carefully take the gurney to the ambulance, avoiding all possible touch with the cellophane cocoon. The straps are so tight around my friend’s body that if he could feel them, he would have cried.

The doors make a doubled, muffled thump and the engine of the ambulance starts. It jerks me into movement, but I’m too late. They drive off.

They haven’t closed his kitchen door. So I do it, thinking in that odd way that he’ll be sad when he comes back to find it left open. I never have seen inside his house and I don’t breach his privacy as I close the door.

I have no way to lock it, and he told me he hasn’t any family left.

I step quickly down the top of the searing hot grey metal culvert cover to my aunt’s large backyard. I’m grateful to not run into my cousins. One of whom has already tried to rape me. I can fight him off if I have to, again, but all I need is to escape. I hopscotch across the brook and into the old potato field. I leap like a yearling deer from one mound to the next before I can disappear myself into the forested lands on my dad’s property. I practically live in the forest, and my friend’s habit of treating me like a wild animal isn’t off. I am.

The next thing I clearly remember is hugging Esmerelda’s neck, finally understanding why he’d asked me to take her.

Finally understanding a lot of things a 14-year-old probably shouldn’t have to think about.

I never did get the mail that day. I had to scour the area I’d walked to find the mail key I’d always been so careful not to drop.

Years later, when I was 19, and I’d escaped those fucking mountains, I was in university and doing very well. The only semester I didn’t hit the president’s list was the semester I had mono, and I still made dean’s.

I and a couple of others had recently been thrilled to get the B added to the LG group (lesbian and gay). Bisexual erasure is still prevalent, and it was worse then.

It was meeting night for the club, and one of my friends, one of the first openly gay men I knew while understanding what that meant, had a square of heavy white cloth. He explained it was for a project to remember those we’d lost to AIDS.

I took it home to my dorm room that night and feverishly embroidered a little grey goat wearing a green collar and a shiny gold jingle bell. I’ll never know why he named her Esmerelda.

The last time I visited those mountains, just before our move to Canada… I walked over with my eldest on my hip to look at my friend’s house. The door gaped open like a missing tooth in a smile, but no human scavengers had touched anything. (In those mountains, scavenging is a way of life. It’s a testimonial to their prejudice and discrimination that his home wasn’t pillaged.) The roof had fallen in at some point, always a danger in those mountains, from the weight of snow. The porch step I’d sat on to listen to his stories had fallen off and lay almost rotted through. I stood there looking at his house for probably longer than I remember. They’d closed the post office. The workhorses had been sent to make dog food when the man of the house died and his widow couldn’t care for them. Pound for pound selling them to the butcher was more practical.

My mother sold Ar Bazara just before she left my father. My beautiful mare had died at her new owners from pneumonia not long after I’d graduated high school.

Fall asters bloomed, making shockingly bright splotches of colour around his house. No one would even go close enough to do the neighborly thing and mow the tiny area of land that went with the house. Perception was everything to those people. It wouldn’t do to be perceived as less than a ‘good Christian’. So it spoke volumes that no one had shoveled the roof or mown the lawn. The only way people survive up there is by banding together when needed. My cousins may shoot each other (true fact) but they’ll band together if someone threatens from outside.

My grandmother was gone. Still with us in the flesh, but Alzheimer’s took her from us long before she actually died. She didn’t even remember I had a kid.

My father had cut the ancient maple tree I’d loved so much for firewood years before, sometime when I was in uni.

There weren’t any horses anymore. Esmeralda had gone. She never recovered. The sweet, gentle goat I’d agreed to love turned vicious and mean. I didn’t know how to help her and no one I dared ask could help. My father made me get rid of her when she butted him in the knee.

I kissed my little one’s head when he reached up curiously to touch a tear on my cheek. I doubt he’d ever seen me cry before that. I don’t cry easy. My therapist has me working on relearning how to cry.

That isn’t a problem right now. I can barely see to type. No matter how many years pass, I can’t forget the tearing, sticky sound of the cellophane as they wrapped my friend up. I can’t forget the things they said about him while wearing those stupid haz-mat suits. Which they hadn’t even been wearing correctly. I can’t forget and it’s so bloody hard to remember these things, much less talk or write about them.

Within my lifetime, we’ve seen amazing changes in queer rights. But I, and a lot of older queers, are watching the current political climate of the world and… we could so easily lose everything we’ve gained.

Trans people are always the canaries in the coal mine; always the ones sacrificed first. They will come for the rest of us.

If you’re queer, don’t ever fall into the trap of thinking it’s ancient history. I’m currently 47. This day happened 33 years ago. Don’t fall into the morass of thinking our rights can’t be stripped from us.

They can. And I fear, deeply, that they’ll strip our rights from us again. We could so easily fall down the slippery slope until all of us are disrespected as my friend was. He died alone. And I suppose I should be grateful my aunt noticed right away, that anyone noticed at all. He was a pariah. He’d come home to die after his partner did, only to face massive social exclusion by people he’d grown up with. My aunt only fed him for the cash. Even then, barter was still common. Hard cash wasn’t always easy to get.

I went to the cemetery to try to find his grave and plant some flowers on it. I found where it was supposed to be. Right on the very edge next to the pine forest. Just a slight depression marking what was likely a cheap pine coffin, if they even paid him that much respect. There wasn’t a crematorium anywhere close by. So they’d stuck him as far away from the other dead people as possible. As if the dead could catch it. We didn’t name it. It was the illness variety of the boogeyman. If you don’t name it, it can’t find you.

Starflower had grown to cover the area, so at least I know every spring he has a blanket of small, ethereal white flowers. We lost most of a generation of queers due to medical negligence and reprehensible cruelty from humans to other human beings.

But these stories shouldn’t die with us. Queer youth need to understand what we lived through so they don’t get too complacent. I’ve fought for queer rights since I was 14 years old.

My eldest can just be openly queer. Something I’ve never been able to be except for a few short years in university.

I don’t want to see us lose our rights again.

I don’t want another misunderstood, abused, hurting queer kid to have to watch as their only friend is wrapped in cellophane and denied the honour of a body bag. Denied the honour of a decent grave with a simple headstone.

We’re already losing queer rights. Please don’t be complacent.

Phew, so… I’m a sobbing mess. If my work of words touched you, please consider a tip or becoming a patron. We live in poverty. My husband is recovering from one of the likely three back surgeries he needs for his broken back. We have two autistic/ADHD kids and finding a job is impossible. I’ve been looking since January 15th, 2023. I have $50/$1220 I need for rent for January. We can’t get any government aid because I’m an immigrant.

Far too many queer creatives live in poverty. I’ll do a series of these memories as I can. They’re very emotionally difficult for me to write, but I feel they’re very important things.

http://ko-fi.com/A630KKM

https://www.paypal.me/KaelanRhy

#AIDS #aids epidemic #queer #being queer #queer history #AIDS Quilt

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wheelsup30 · 1 month

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OKAY IM POSTING THIS ANYWAY

Here's an example of an old writing exercise monologue I did at uni:

cw: animal death briefly described

word count: 564

When I was seven years old I found a bird in the woods, percy had left me behind to go play with annie and I didn’t want to bother them. They were always ahead of me in stuff like that, but I didn’t mind. They were older, bigger, stronger and they didn’t need little me dragging them behind.

It was a finch, I think, little thing. Broken wing.

I didn’t know how to help it but it cried and cried and I wondered who it was crying to, its mama? Some higher being? I don’t know, I don’t think any of us really know who we’re crying to, we just know who helps us, and when they don’t help us it feels like some kind of betrayal, but why are we owed that? It makes no sense.

If we were owed help then I wouldn’t be who I am today. If we were owed help then I wouldn’t have watched her walk off into the woods when I was still a baby. I still needed her and she still left. So part of me thinks we aren’t owed shit in this life and that makes sense.

But then Im the bad guy, aren’t i. im the one saying these helpless little kids and broken birds don’t deserve help. But I think what people don’t want to admit is that help isn’t always picking them up and dusting them off.

Sometimes help is finding the biggest rock you can and holding it high above your head so the calling stops when you drop it.

And that’s what I did.

Annie would’ve brought it in, percy would’ve helped her. I can see the little cardboard box now that she’d have, feeding it whatever she can find to make it big and strong again.

I realised that after the rock dropped.

So I moved it and lifted up its little body in my little hands to bring to nana’s house.

Little hands covered in the blood of this little creature that only wanted help from me. I was who it was calling to. But I didn’t understand. I was too caught up in calling for my own help to hear it.

I don’t feel guilty though, that bird would’ve been hurting for far longer if it was alive when I brought it in and placed it on the table.

It would still have been calling out. A shrill tone that hurt my ears. I wasn’t mad about it, I just wanted it to stop.

Maybe if I was younger I wouldn’t have realised what was going on when nana dragged me to the bathroom sink to scrub my hands, getting dropping the bird in the trash before annie and my brother could see, but I could see how she looked at me.

How she was afraid of me.

They always expected me to be like percy, I was quiet, polite, I didn’t make a scene and yet they walked around me like I was a land mine that an acorn dropped onto.

They were afraid of me and I saw it every time I got upset, every time that silence fell I could feel their dread building and all I want to do is shout im not mean! Im not bad! You don’t understand I never got that help,

im always calling but the rock still drops.

#leowrites #leoocs #one of my favourite pieces of writing and the only editing it has is me now adding spaces and changing the names from old ocs to new ones #writing

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cyhaino · 10 months

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Mass Effect Romance Opinions

Kaiden | he’s ok I like him just fine he usually dies in my playthrough though because my youngest sister is named Ashley and I feel weird letting someone with her name die does it make sense no but who cares I’m playing

Liara | You’d think I would love an alien archeologist and for the most part I do but when I’m not actively romancing her I find her a bit too much and I get annoyed in me3 with her whole planet being taken and her attitude about it as if Earth wasn’t the first planet taken

Ashley | I don’t romance her because of the name reason but I do like her. Also she was right about the council seeing humans as dogs.

Miranda | again I should like her but honestly prefer friendship over a romance just let her be with her sister

Tali | honestly see her as more of a a sister

Jack | love her, one of the few characters who actually has character growth but I’m still salty over not being able to romance her as female Shepard

Jacob | If you ignore the weird flirtatious tone when you go to talk to him, you’ll find he’s not that bad. He’s supposed to be the level headed character and he is for the most part. He does suffer from bad writing though and it’s pretty obvious too. Still I do like the me2 romance so I go through the pain but I do still get annoyed in me3

Garrus | nice voice but that’s it and I do like the tango dance in the dlc but honestly most of the time it felt like I was yelling at him. When I was younger he was my favorite but now that I’m older some of the stuff he says and does doesn’t sit right with me.

Thane | never romanced him because personally I would never ask someone out after they trauma-dumped like what the hell was up with that option??? Still I understand the appeal because hello??? Assassin???A distant dad who still wants the best for his son??? And he’s dying??? Why do I find all of this hot what does this say about me

Kelly | No

Samara | love her I want to marry her she deserves so much probably written by a man because hello we could have just adopted children why put her through that misfortune

Morinth | I love her mom

Steve | this man lost his husband fairly recently so no

Samantha | <3 favorite romance shes gay I’m gay what more do I need to say

Diana | she’s there I guess???

Javik | y’all say Garrus has a nice but nah Javik’s voice is way better I wish he was an actual romance option. Is he perfect? No but I doubt any of us would be in his situation. 10/10 would still bang

James | yes but no because I would have loved having him as an actual romance option but what bioware gave us was shit!!! Like what the hell!!! Thank god for fanfiction because what the hell!!!

Avela | I didn’t even know she was a romance option whoops

Cora | this woman screams lesbian romancing her as male Ryder feels weird

Gil | I hate his best friend

Liam | oh I love him he was the first romance I did his little wave his flips! And his loyalty mission is one of the best ones to do so much fun and ahhhh when he takes you out on Eos for that date!!!! I love Liam

Suvi | she’s cute but eh that’s it

Peebee | one of the more fleshed out romances in my opinion however romancing her as male ryder feels weird and I think it’s better to romance her as female ryder.

Jaal | yeah I’m a Jaal girlie my ao3 history will attest to that. He tried so hard to come across as cool and mysterious but he’s just a bisexual disaster like me and ahhh the forehead touch!!! And of course his voice???

Vetra | you give me hot turian girlfriend and I give you all my money. Also she’s an eldest daughter and as an eldest daughter myself, yeah I’m gonna gravitate towards her. Her romance feels really short though

Reyes | bioware made sure he wasn’t a full romance option because they wouldn’t be able to handle two bisexual Latinos

#about me #DO NOT TAKE THESE SO SERIOSULY #THEY ARE MY OPINIONS!!!#also I wrote this at 2am

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mylife09 · 4 months

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TW: Suicide talk, panic attacks, death, sh, grief

Hello! So my binder came and it fits perfectly! I ordered extra large and I was afraid that it would be to big but it fits, and it doesn’t sit to hard so I can’t breathe but it doesn’t fit so loose so it doesn’t bind, so basically it’s doing the job.

My grandma passed away little more than a year ago and I’ve been writing letters to her, it’s really affecting my mental health and I know I shouldn’t continue but I’m not ready to let go of her yet. My mom said that my grandma’s death didn’t affect me so much because I haven’t really shown any emotion about it or anything but I’m always in my room crying, my family and other relatives are a little homophobic and I thought that I would come out to my grandma (the one who’s gone) but I couldn’t write it down, I’m still afraid that she’s not going to love me the same even thought she’s gone. I started writing “I am” I was going to write bisexual and genderfluid but I got a panic attack instead. To be honest ever since she passed I have gotten nightmares about people I love dying or they killing me or leaving me. Last week I had a nightmare about my dad dying and it felt so real that I didn’t realise that it was a dream until he came home from work. I’ve had nightmares about my friends dying, like Ludvig, he’s died 5 times since November 2022. I’ve kept a journal of my dreams and I’ve written down how people died and which person it was. I’ve died so many times that I’m not afraid of death anymore. I don’t know what comes after you die because I wake up every time I die.

I was 20 days sober before I got a nightmare about my friends taking there life’s. I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about stuff like this, I tried talking to a lot of different people but they haven’t really taking it seriously. I haven’t talked to everyone, I’ve talked to people that doesn’t have so much on their shoulders. I don’t want to burden them with my problems. Right now I’m 39 minutes sober from sh. I don’t have a good coping mechanism, so that’s why I end up doing sh or writing pointless letters to my grandma. 3 people know that I’m doing sh, it’s my friend Saga, we were closer when we were younger but we grew apart. The second one is my friend Ludvig, at first I thought he was super amazing and kind but now when I’ve really gotten to know him I think he’s really rude, we reported violation( I used translate for that) and the teacher told him and his mom about it and he told my teacher about some things that Ludvig had told him and honestly I felt bad for him (the guy we reported) but at the same time he did some bad shit to us but I still felt bad for him. He had asked Ludvig and Ceasar (they’re twins) if we three had sex together. There have been a lot of people asking if we three are a couple. Anyway back to the people that knows about my sh. The last person is Hampus, we met at taekwondo training and we just became best friends, he follows me here on Tumblr so, Hi Hampus! He’s the only person that follows me here so I don’t know why I write like any other person will read this. Anyway back to what I was talking about, I could trust Hampus with my life if it came to that, he is really great and deserves the world. Sometimes I think that he’s the only person I could trust.

If you haven’t already figured it out I have adhd, I can’t keep my thoughts at one thing at a time, I just blabber on hahaha

Well I have to stop writing now or else I’ll make an entire book.

Goodbye!

#panic attack #genderfluid #binder #bisexual

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scheodingers-muppet · 1 year

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hi y’all are getting another taylor album as ST because it’s all i can think about at the moment. today, folklore!

the 1: stancy, from Steve’s perspective. specifically when he’s starting to move on (ignoring what happened in season 4 cause like… what?) or if you want some serious heartbreak, i’m a “steddie was friends in middle school” truther and if you listen to it like that…

cardigan: byler!!! mainly from Will’s perspective. you can’t convince me Will didn’t come home from his first playdate with Mike and tell Joyce he was gonna marry that boy. he knew this whole time he loved him, and Mike used to show him how much he loved him back

the last great american dynasty: steddie. steve’s family would see eddie as a bad influence and blame steve “being where he is” on eddie (reality; steve is happy and loved and just got a place with eddie and his family views it as a downgrade). the town would still hate eddie, and blame whatever they could on him. also the line about the neighbor makes me think of the Eddie Munson TikTok Saga and i can see eddie stealing a dog just to get back at someone being slightly rude to steve

exile: jopper. specifically Hopper seeing Joyce with Bob. Hopper saw her with Lonnie through high school, has loved her since then. He’s loved Joyce through multiple relationships, on both sides. they’ve lived this movie before

my tears ricochet: max and billy. max didn’t deserve any of the shit billy gave her. “i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky” “i can go anywhere i want, just not home”

mirrorball: STEVE! that poor boy has Brett Hand syndrome and doesn’t even know his favorite color. he fully picked his personality to get friends when he was younger and he’s finally learning how to tear that down. he still “performs,” to get people to like him though, like still trying to flirt with all the girls in season 3

seven: Ronance. specifically Robin. i just know that girl is deeply nostalgic for her early childhood and brings Nancy to her grandmas house one summer, going off on 30 minute stories about all her favorite traditions and stuff and then getting to her favorite playground, where Nancy tells her she went on a trip here one summer with her family years ago and befriended a little girl at the creek and spending the day running around like this. Robin realizes she was that little girl and the pretty girl with the long braid she’d been talking about was her now-girlfriend. i also think robin would love someone in such a soft way, like with a childlike-sense of adoration

august: elmax. they’re in love your honor and if the stupid upside down would have stayed quiet in season 3, they would have had the best summer ever. they would have sleepovers every night, switching between their places. snuck out to the mall when one gets grounded

this is me trying: nancy. this girl needs therapy. she’s dealing with so much. also, “my words shoot to kill when i’m mad” “i got wasted like all my potential” “i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere” “it’s hard to be at a party when i feel like an open wound” those are so nancy-coded

illicit affairs: steddie. them hiding it at first and then when eddie dies ends up in the hospital in a coma, steve sits at his grave hospital bed holding his hand, telling him how angry he is

invisible string: jancy. i think we as a fandom forget they likely grew up knowing each other pretty well. the way we see Joyce and Karen talking show us the families are close. it’s also not hard to imagine they’d be close with how close Mike and Will are. i think they’d have so many little things that ended up with them fitting together so well. also, i think them both being bi and the line “blues and that purple pink sky” is so funny

mad woman: Joyce. she’s painted to be the town-loon in season one. the town saw what they thought was a mother who just lost their child and decided she was crazy

epiphany: Hopper. that man lost so much and tries to just handle it by bottling it up. his ptsd from the war and all the upside down stuff, losing his daughter, the russian prison

betty: stancy, from Steve’s perspective after the movie incident

peace: Will and El (not a ship) “as long as danger’s near, and it’s just around the corner cause it lives in me” i just know these kids blame themselves for getting everyone involved in this (even though it’s not their fault) they’re able to find the solidarity in each other

hoax: platonic stobin. i think they definitely need to dive more into the dynamic now that their trauma bonded, but i think them switching off on being extra sad and the other taking care of them is extremely them

the lake: steddie, from eddie’s perspective. they get out of hawkins as soon as they can and live happily ever after

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #chief hopper #mike wheeler #taylor swift #ts folklore

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winderlylandchime · 8 months

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2x11 2/2: ‘He does *waves his hands around* all of this for them and they still act rude in a way, if i was him, i’d burn the whole place down, okay thats a but much but they are very very rude *brian tries to give his tickets to linds* HE CARES! NOT THAT IM SURP- blondie, if he didn’t wanna be here, he would just say adios and leave you alone in you DIY dress! WHY DO THEY KEEP TELLING HIM WHAT HE THINKS AND FEELS AND GOD DAMN IT THIS IS ANNOYING ME SO MUCH *looks at me* hey, if i was like 100% sober, do you think id watch it more peacefully?’ Narrators note: no, i dont think so, in fact i think the drugs are helping him, wish i had them when i watched s5. ‘She wants him to fuck lots of beautiful guys but she almost had a stroke bc ted started a porn site. Who is she lying to? Him? Herself? Or me? Bc i feel lied to. Whateved, give me my boy and Bri Bri in Miami!! Dancing and drinking and having fun!’ And now Justin cancelled on Brian ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYYYYY BLONDIE! WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?!?!?! He wants to console debbie?! She has mike! Fuck debbie! That bitch better drown in her tears if he wants to cancel for that!’ And now he is watching the tv like a hawk to see if Debbie cries. ‘HE ISNT EVEN CONSOLING HER! She is smiling! Not a tear on her! *he now paused the tv on mel* i swear i dont mean this in a bad way, okay maybe it is but im not 100% sure so you tell me..BUT she gives off the vibe like if she did an interview about her character instead of saying the name or whatever she would speak in first person..now to think of it that nerd also gives of that vibe (when asked which nerd he just went ‘im done explaining myself).. not one tissue was passed to debbie! Not one! I guess this wedding was cute but come on! Give me brian and Justin on a trip! I had to suffer doctor bone crack and mike fuck in a forest, i think i deserve something good for that’ ‘i will kill myself if it cuts to Brian sad in a loft or some shit like that. HE CAUGHT A BOUQUET!! DOES THIS MEAN HES NEXT?! i wonder who caught it at the wedding? Probably Emmett’ And at this point he is no longer chill or collected. He is now going on and on about how lindsay sabotaged him and how he is a good person that deserves good stuff and that them not going on a trip is horrible and that he is fully expecting them to go on a trip by the end of a season but since miami just happened he is willing to compromise that s3 better start with them somewhere on a trip/returning from one. I think he might kill me when he sees the finale.

OH MY GOD in my last answer I forgot to address your brother going WILD over Brian deciding to take Justin to Miami. Welcome to the fandom, friend. The things we melt at. (NGL my spouse took me to Dinah Shore which has a white party for my 30th and it was very romantic... in its own debauched way) (we were younger then and better able to mimic Brian's lifestyle)

Thank you to your brother for seeing how batshit Lindsay is. What the fuck does she want from Brian? NO ONE KNOWS. IT IS A MYSTERY.

And yeah, Justin staying. I get that it made sense for his character. Probably a bit of foreshadowing for Ethan. (And not a single tissue passed to Debbie) (but also truly no offense to Sharon Gless, she is so normal about Debbie). (Which nerd? I die)

Brother better buckle up if he's hoping that Brian and Justin get to go away to any-fucking-where. Vermont, Miami, Ibiza... none of it happens. Ever.

I get so sad seeing Brian catch the bouquet at the white party. IDK why. It makes me sad.

I wish we could start a fund for you for the end of this season - to pay for your therapy and probably your brother's.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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oldmyths · 2 years

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oh man i have SHIT to say abt vhs. Spoilers btw

so like overall i feel like the framing of how we, the audience, are able to witness the tapes is decent enough. tape 56 is absolutely my least favorite segment out of all of them though so i think i was more interested in what was on the tapes instead of watching gross white guys fucking around and finding out

there was always at least an aspect i liked about each segment but there are certain things holding me back from saying i absolutely loved one over the other. conceptually, here r my rankings with commentary underneath:

tuesday the 17th

this one is prob the closest to being my favorite bc i just love the idea of a fucked up glitch killer that can only be seen on camera. this is probably just exposing me as someone who loved slenderman and marble hornets when i was younger but I Don’t Even Care. i feel like the gore was a bit hit or miss in this one but the ending scene with wendy was sooooo fucked up like genuinely. i loved it tho. the only thing that’s stopping me from downright loving it was the amount of SHAKY CAM

when it came to this part of the movie my motion sickness was getting really bad, i had to take a break and walk around my house for a bit bc i felt so dizzy. maybe as a contained story it wouldn’t bother me as much but man. it killed the vibe for real

amateur night

OBVIOUSLY the goat. i feel like i heard about this particular segment before though bc i already knew generally what was gonna happen. i was actually worried that the entire movie was spoiled for me and i wouldn’t be able to enjoy watching it, but luckily it seems i only knew abt this part. it’s a very solid story. wish i didn’t have to see dick and balls though

10/31/98

THIS one. THIS ONEEEE is so good. i don’t know if it’s bc the camera moves so fast or something but i love love love how the house was changing before the guys even went upstairs. i hope that’s actually how the segment went bc i am such a slut for buildings changing and shit like when you walk out one door and it opens back into the room you just left. or when you turn a corner down a hall and turn another corner and you’re back where you started. P.T./silent hills and house of leaves did this so effectively

AND IF I’M RIGHT then 10/31/98 did this in such a subtle and terrifying way and i love it so MUCH. it would def top amateur night in that case But because i have no idea it stays below amateur night. plus i was sick of drunk white guys doing Bro things

the sick thing that happened to emily when she was younger

the gore in this one was actually fucking awful. like so bad so gross so bad. i had to look away at the spine part and ugh UGHHH like no. i think i’m better at handling/facing gore now but jesus when emily was mutilating her arm LIKE EUGHHHH NOOO it’s so gross.

also i hate men. this is why skype died because if i was on a video call with my partner and i saw creepy little kids behind me in my webcam bg i would just accept my fate and fucking die. emily deserves better. SO DOES THAT OTHER WOMAN AT THE END WTFFF I HATE MEN!

second honeymoon

this one was pretty cool. when i saw that ti west directed one of the segments here i was wondering which one it could be, and in hindsight this has his grubby little fingerprints all over it. a win for wlws everywhere tho

tape 56

booooooooooooooooooooooo. they got what they deserved.

overall i’d say that it’s a decent movie but it’s only as good as the sum of its parts and your mileage will DEFINITELY vary based on your own taste in horror. i’m not interested in watching the sequels and i don’t think i’ll be rewatching this any time soon

#horrorwatch2022

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riboism · 2 years

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someone posted something on their blog and I wanna reply to them but I’m still shadowbanned 🙃 libra, I hope you see this post :(

I’m in the same boat as you. My first job after graduating college is at a fucking clothing retail store. Everyone makes me feel like shit about it, and I’m tired of explaining myself to them. Yes, I have a degree, but I’m not going into that field anymore. I realized pretty late that I don’t want to do this as a career so I decided to go into a totally different field after finishing my bachelors. I can’t get an internship in this new field until I take a few classes, and I don’t want to do an internship in my degree field because the thought of it makes me want to puke. I tried to get a job that’s somewhat relevant to my career goals but I got ghosted every single time. So I got a retail job. I really didn’t want to, I hate retail and I hate talking to customers, but I really needed the money and I knew that they would hire me right away.

It sucks seeing people your age doing jobs in their fields and making bank while you’re stuck doing a retail job and barely making any money. I thought I’d be making a lot since they offered to pay me a dollar over minimum wage but then the company IMMEDIATELY cut hours once I started working so my paychecks are laughable. Now that I’m going back to school, I have to work even less hours and my paychecks are going to be so small and that stresses me out. I’m also worried about seeing ateez :( although I really want to see them again and I have been saving up, I feel like I should hold on to that money I’ve been saving and keep it for financial security. You’re right, it’s not even just the ticket cost, it’s transportation, hotel, and food as well, and the thought of it makes me nervous. I really hope somehow you can see them because you deserve to :( if you do sit this one out, it’s okay because they’ll definitely come back! You’ll see them one day :)

Sometimes, I feel so ashamed about where I am in life. It’s been worse the past few weeks because my cousin, who’s younger than me, got a really good paying nursing job, and she’s only a junior in college. I was so happy for her, but then my parents found out and made me feel bad about it :(

I know how hard it is to apply for programs, trust me, I’ve been avoiding it for over a year and didn’t send in my application until very last minute. I got into the program which is great, but then I started to feel a little depressed about it. I feel like I’m starting all over again while everyone else is already moving on with their lives.

But you know what? It’s fine. Everyone is going at their own pace. Some people get to their finish line early, and some people (like us) still have a few laps left. But we’ll get there soon enough. I know you’re not satisfied with where you are in your life, but I want to remind you that this is only temporary. You’re doing the best with what you can right now and that’s enough. In time, you’ll get a call back from a good paying job, and you’ll find the motivation to apply for your mph. Just be patient with yourself. You’re doing great <3 When tumblr fixes my account, you can message me anytime about anything and I’ll be happy to listen :) I wish I could just reply to your post or send an ask, I feel awkward posting like this but I really wanted to let you know this because I wished someone had said this to me months ago :(

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messers-moony · 3 years

Text

King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born.

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him.

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it.

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive.

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n.

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied.

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?”

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered.

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better.

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable.

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving.

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness.

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James.

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned.

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked.

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.”

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless.

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister.

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter.

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room.

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.”

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort.

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser.

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

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