#I got sucked in by all the broadway folks

[jennyboom21]

Which one of y’all wrote this?!?

It’s exquisite!

But I’m here for one reason and one reason alone.

Dianna Agron.

You probably know Dianna Agron from “Glee,” or “Shiva Baby,” or being an incredibly hot Jew recently interviewed by Hey Alma. I’ve been a fan of hers since “Glee,” since I watched her sing and dance in a revealing cheerleading uniform. There aren’t many things you can pinpoint with accuracy in your life, but I’m pretty sure I can say this with full confidence: Dianna Agron made me gay.

The crowd is mixed. There are a few groups of young women, one very fashionable young guy. They all have a queer air about them, and I know I’m not just projecting: I can hear their conversations and they are gay.

At first I think most people in attendance tonight will be Gleeks, at least the young ones. I mean, why else would you pay to see Dianna Agron sing at a fancy hotel? That shit’s expensive. Later that night, when I told my friend’s mum I saw jazz at the Carlyle, she told me I got a “real New York experience.” Young people can’t afford that! Unless you’re a dedicated Gleek.

Growing up in 2009 was confusing. I was 14, and being 14 sucked. When “Glee” came along, it was funny and edgy and it was gay. So gay. I say now, only partly as a joke, that “Glee” made me gay. Not in a malicious, gay-agenda kind of way, but more in a “this is the first time I see gay people on screen and now I realize they exist” kind of way. Quinn Fabray, Agron’s character, was my favorite. And that shit was confusing. Quinn was a devout Christian, blonde and blue-eyed and villainous yet infinitely likable. I was drawn to Agron, and her character, in a way I didn’t fully understand yet. Why was I obsessed with this gorgeous, impeccable woman? Why did looking at her make my stomach flutter? I followed Agron from project to project, watching literally anything and everything she appeared in. And that includes an ad for a Nintendo 3DS. I was obsessed. And unknowingly, I was very gay.

Dianna Agron is late, by almost 15 minutes.

I’ve got nothing to do but scan the room. I’m not sure why older people are here. The folks next to me are middle-aged and seemingly heterosexual. There are elderly people at the bar across from me. There are finance guys with their done-up girlfriends. Middle-aged couples with their 20-something daughters. Queers. Me. A woman reading the Wall Street Journal. A regular swapping family updates with the bartender.

This is the power of Dianna. She brings us together.

Dinner and a show at the Carlyle seems like it exists in a different era, like I’ve stepped into a portal and come out into 19-dickety-2. Dianna has that vibe, too. That old school charm, the timelessness to her features. Like you could find her likeness in a Buzzfeed article titled “25 Pictures of Bona Fide Ellis Island Hotties.” She wouldn’t look out of place in furs and a fancy cigarette holder. I realize I’ve just described Cruella de Ville. I guess that’s my epitome of old school fancy. I try to lean in.

I order a gin and tonic and it is mostly gin. I’ve barely eaten all day and my head is starting to spin. It’s either the alcohol or my body can sense that Dianna is near.

Finding out celebrities are Jewish is always weirdly exciting. Finding out Dianna Agron is Jewish when I was 14 was like finding out Santa is real and also he’s your distant cousin. Sure, there was absolutely no reason for our paths to ever cross; the chances of successful-actress-who-lives-in-L.A. Dianna Agron meeting me, a kid from Australia who attended an all girls’ Chabad school, were literally zero. But when I realized we were both Jewish, anything felt possible: a Shabbat meal we miraculously both attend, a performance of “Fiddler” on Broadway where we happen to sit next to one another. The Jewish world is impossibly small, and by some strange twist of fate, we are both in it.

It never happens, of course. No Shabbat, no random meet-cute. The closest I get is my friend meeting her in a cafe in Jerusalem a few years ago. I think it’s for the best. Imagine getting close enough to Dianna Agron that you could talk to her; I don’t think I’d be able to cope.

I come within mere inches of Dianna Agron.

She enters the room and stands right next to me, waiting for her musical cue. Her band has already taken the stage (her violinist and cellist are HOT. Like, hot hot). Wall Street Journal Lady is watching the stage, asks me if she’s obstructing my view of the band. She literally does not realize Dianna Agron is standing right next to us. Literally, right next to us. Like I could reach out and tap her on the shoulder and ask if she comes here often.

Thank God I’m wearing a mask, I decide, as Dianna takes to the stage and starts to sing. Otherwise everyone would be able to see this dumb fucking smile that stays on my face for the rest of the night.

I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t listen to a lot of jazz. Up until this night, my favorite jazz is H. Jon Benjamin’s comedy album. But now I love jazz. Jazz is the best. It suits Dianna’s voice so perfectly. I think it’s absolutely criminal that all those years on “Glee” and she didn’t sing any jazz. She sang a funk song, but no jazz. She sang showtunes, but no jazz.

A crime. A crime against humanity and Dianna Agron stans.

Her voice has a sultry quality, and that is the first time I’ve ever used that word. She hits low notes in a way that hits me straight in the chest. She scrunches her nose as she smiles in a way that I recognize from online performances I’ve obviously watched before.

When your personality is formed by pop culture, seeing a celebrity almost feels like seeing an old friend. I know, logically, this isn’t true; Dianna Agron does not know me, and I do not know her. But I know a version of her, the version she puts on in interviews. When she laughs throughout the show, I know that laugh. I’ve seen the smile she throws at the audience dozens of times before. This is what this is, at its core, I decide. Old friends. A whole room of them, watching their queen bee.

Dianna doesn’t look like a lot of the Jews I know. It’s something the Jewish media loves to talk about, somewhat saltily. Dianna Agron, always the non-Jewish bridesmaid and never the bride under the chuppah. Obviously, I first knew her as Quinn Fabray, noted Christian, who bullies Jewish Rachel Berry with a merciless quality some may describe as “small-town antisemitism.” More recently, Agron’s character in “Shiva Baby” is the only non-Jewish character in the whole movie. There’s also that time she played a nun in one of the greatest (and gayest) nun films of all time, “Novitiate”. And who could forget when she played famous Mormon Brandon Flowers’ girlsona in the “Just Another Girl” music video? OK. I’ll stop showing off my impressive Dianna Agron knowledge now.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life considering what it means to look like a Jew. As a woman, I never had to grow peyos, or wear a kippah and tzitzit like the boys did. My dad would cover his kippah with a baseball cap if we wandered too far from home, and my brother quickly learned to do the same. For a long time, the only way I felt identifiably Jewish was by the knee-length skirts that screamed “Modern Orthodox.” But I stopped wearing skirts years ago. The Chabad boys handing out Shabbat candles in New York only offered me some because I stopped to ask them for directions.

In the Carlyle, there’s nothing that demarcates me as “Jew.” I could, for all intents and purposes, choose to play the role of “non-Jew” for this evening’s performance. But I say a bracha (blessing) before I sip my drink. I read a d’var torah while I wait for the show to begin. And I think, somewhat simply, that actors are not the roles they inhabit.

A waiter brings a cake with a candle into the crowd, and Dianna wishes the recipient a happy birthday. Her crowd work throughout is amazing. She laughs and smirks. I remember I am gay, very gay. At one point she turns her back to the audience and throws us a look over her shoulder. My automatic internal response is “step on me.” At another moment, she tells the audience that she and the band “like applause,” and my internal voice says, “OK, Rachel Berry.” She sings “Our Day Will Come,” which was performed on season six of ��Glee,” an episode that she didn’t even appear in. Still, my hand flies to my chest as I hear echoes of the “Glee” version, echoes of Naya Rivera and Darren Criss (the latter who, incidentally, I met after the show. Wild).

I wonder how hard it must be to divorce herself from “Glee,” and from the type of fandom and fans it has spawned. When you have something as big, as iconic and divisive and culturally groundbreaking, attached to your name, it must be hard to feel as though you’re maturing as a performer. Do you expect your fans to mature along with you? Do you expect to pick up more on the way?

There’s no doubt in my mind that Dianna is picking up fans tonight. WSJ Lady is all in, as are the other bar regulars. Who better to spread the gospel of Dianna than Dianna herself?

Her pianist is Jewish, it turns out, and so is her drummer. She doesn’t, like, announce it or anything, but their names are Eden and Itai, so I kind of figure it out, you know?

She tells us she found her drummer on Instagram, scrolling casually.

And yet here I remain — with several mutuals, I might add — unfollowed, Ms. Agron. What’s up with that?

My notes get fewer and farther between from this point on. I’m a few drinks in, the room is too dark and I’m too mesmerized by what’s happening on stage. But here are some important things to know:

she sang in French

her mom cried and she called her out for it

she made a playlist of the songs she performed on Spotify because of course she did

she sang an Eartha Kitt song after the audience demanded two encores

she is wonderful.

Two things happen concurrently. I steal a pen from the hotel bar, and Dianna starts to sing “Moon River.” Without sounding like a crazed stalker, for a single moment in time, she’s singing to me. It might sound pathetic, it might sound insane, but here’s the truth of the matter:

In that moment, I am 16 again. I barely know anything about myself — I’m years away from coming out, and it’s something I’ve chosen to compartmentalize and never think about. I don’t know who I am, I just know who I don’t want to be. But through it all, there’s this person who has a Tumblr she posts on regularly, and she’s on my favorite TV show every week, and she’s pretty in a way that feels normal and Not Gay to obsess over.

Dianna sings “Moon River.” In that moment, as the last bars of the song play, I hold onto 16 as hard as I can.

Here’s the crux of the whole night. I know, when she exits the stage, she has to pass me again. I know. I deliberate all night whether to say, “Thank you, Ms. Agron,” like an absolute fool or stay quiet or what.

Obviously I go with the fool route. She rushes past me. I say thank you, not unlike a kindergartener being forced to thank their parents’ friend for something. She laughs. She says thank you to me.

There you have it. Mission accomplished. I have spoken to Dianna Agron one time.

Am I a changed person? Obviously not. I am who I was at the start of the night, just significantly drunker and with a new pen.

The WSJ lady asks me how I enjoyed it, and I tell her very much so. She also loved it. I ask her if she can airdrop me the videos she took throughout the night (even though we were told not to video!!!) and she says, “Of course!” so now I have the videos on my phone. I sent them to my friend who loves “Glee” just as much, if not more, than I do. But I don’t watch them. Why would I watch them when I experienced the magic first hand?

The Kotzker Rebbe once said that silence is the most beautiful of all sounds.

Clearly he never went to a Dianna Agron jazz show.

Author’s twitter

#Dianna Agron x cafe Carlyle #jewish women actors

[wegottagetouttahere]

Viva Las Vengeance song-by-song ratings under the cut 😂

Final album rating: 2/10. The songs are cookie-cutter low-effort money-grabbing radio singles. A couple of them could be somewhat catchy but they have weird tempo changes that make them even harder to dance to. The lyrics suck. It ain’t good, folks. Trashing each song in turn under the cut!

Viva Las Vengeance: oh god not the pre-downloaded ringtone riff. Wow he’s really reaching for the rhymes here. What is this song about again? Someone tell him he’s not a good pianist. It’s the Disney channel visual effects for me. Final rating 3/10 was bad

Middle of a Breakup: this is literally the same song??? Not joking it sounds exactly the same, musically. These lyrics suck. Yeah that’s all I can say. These lyrics suck. The video is boring too. Final rating 1/10 blatant money grab

Don’t Let The Light Go Out: starting the music video with himself listening to his own song on the radio is tacky and bad. Ok so this is the song where he’s gonna try to be deep. Again with the Disney channel visual effects! God does every song have to be a “lol watch how high I can belt” it’s boring! why are all these songs about breakups isn’t this man married. Final rating 3/10 idc about this one

Local God: AGAIN WITH THE BORING ASS INTRO. Oh this is another “look at me I’m famous” song. Hate this get me out of here. I’d this man incapable of writing anything not in 4/4 Dorian? My knowledge of music production is so minimal and yet I can tell you this mixing sucks. Final rating 1/10 boring

Star Spangled Banner: oh god is this a patriotism song? Please tell me no. OH THIS IS BAAAAADDDDDDD LMAO. Home of the freaks ok mr capitalism. Ok one point to him for trying to do something jazz… esque? However points away from him because it is bad and doesn’t work. Ugh aGAIN with the high belting! We don’t care! God this comes off as “how do you do fellow alternative teens?” Final rating 1/10 terrible terrible

God Killed Rock and Roll: title sucks. This sounds like it’s out of a Glee episode I hate it. Oh this is bad. He wants to be Queen soooo bad and he’s falling soooo short lmao. Ok this is a little catchy. Still not great, the backing vocals add nothing. Aaaaaaand we’re back to half tempo. Make up your mind!!! It just sounds like you’ve got a bad drummer!! What exactly is the message of this song…? Wow this man thinks he did something with this. Final rating 3/10 could be worse but that doesn’t mean it’s good

Say It Louder: this is the first intro that’s been vaguely interesting, and by that I mean it sounds like someone else wrote it. This is boring. Ok at this point his belting just sounds so strained. He sounds like he’s barely breathing. It ain’t good. Final rating 2/10 snooze fest

Sugar Soaker: you know, I might have hope for this! The riff is catchy! Nope never mind. This went downhill fast. It’s still better than all the others so far. The buildup to the chorus takes me out of the moment. This song would be better with a different singer, someone less Broadway. Like if Joan Jett covered this it could be good. DO SOMETHING ELSE, ANYTHING ELSE WITH YOUR BACKING HARMONIES I BEG YOU I AM BORED TO DEATH. Final rating 4/10 the best so far but that’s like being the tallest leprachaun

Something About Maggie: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again the lyrics suck. The guitars are real boring. This sounds like any new panic at the disco song, I don’t care about it. WHAT is that ending?? 3/10 It could be worse but it could be a LOT better

Sad Clown: Mr. Urie hire a writer I’m begging you. You cannot write lyrics!!! What the hell is this music video? It’s like it’s trying to be ironic and classy at the same time but it’s failing at both and just comes off like a little kid’s dance recital, but less charming. “Even though I’m smiling I’m crying” wow so deep. He sounds like a goddamn cat, wailing like that. Final rating 1/10 I hate it

All By Yourself: Ryan Ross doesn’t think about you at all Mr. Urie, I guarantee you. Oh this is BAD bad… what exactly are you changing, Mr. Urie? What profound difference are you making in the world? I can’t even finish this one it’s so bad. Final rating 1/10 faker than a piñata.

Do It To Death: ok, this isn’t bad so far, whoop never mind! The old bait and switch! Sounds like if the characters in Cars 2 formed an amateur band. This is catchier than most of the other songs on the album, but it’s not catchy enough to warrant four and half minutes. The bridge is bad. Wow like really bad! He had to pull in a reference to another song to make this even less cohesive, wow! Final rating 4/10 mid.

This is a collection of some of the least memorable songs I’ve ever heard, I literally could not tell you what the music I listened to no more than ten minutes ago sounds like. Thoroughly unoriginal.

#blue’s thoughts :)

[dasboligrafo]

TheatrePass Diaries: Wuthering Heights at St Ann's Warehouse

Oh my god this was so bad 😱😱😱 I couldn't even hold in the spoiler.

Right off the bat: they don't have a bar inside and they were suuuper snotty about making you wear a mask (which, like, is fine, just don't be snotty.) My theatre bud had gotten the tickets as unassigned rush seats and when we got there the usher threw a fit about us trying to sit in accessible seats (which, again, were assigned to us by the house) and made a giant production of making us sit in almost the worst seats in the house, even when there were better non-accessible seats. So that was cool! Here's another off-Broadway I'll probably never return to!

Seriously, though, Im working on a theory that you can tell the play is gonna suck by the way the ushers treat you. I think they get stressed out about the play being bad and they take out their guilt on you, the unsuspecting audience.

The play is a 3(!) hour long musical(!) comedy(!) with abstract acrobatic-prop staging, house facades interspersed with vine-like ropes, trapeze swings and ladders to nowhere, meant to suggest the engulfing gothic liminality of the moors, I guess. The musical numbers (such as they were) were performed by an electricized rock quartet occupying a quarter of the stage at all times. The child parts (and there were several) were played by on-stage puppeteers controlling child-sized, anatomically articulable wooden marionettes, whatever those are called. I walked out of the last play I went to that had them...

And -- spoiler alert -- we walked out of this one! Sooo many red flags that it may come as no surprise, I know. A comic musical about Wuthering Heights? I swear I didn't know before I got there.

As a further red flag, my theatre bud nervously admitted as the house lights were dimming that reactions among friends were decidedly mixed.

The thing is -- I love this book, and I probably would have bought a ticket if I heard just the play title. Probably. I'd like to believe I would have seen some of those red flags and second guessed, at least.

And to be honest, the script retained enough of the original text that I might have chosen to ignore the awkward british twee humor and nonsequitur electric folk rock numbers and tried to get swept up by the (actually ravishing) costumes and (actually ravishing) love story portrayed by 2 extremely attractive leads with palpable chemistry.

But then near the first intermission the diminutive actress playing Isabella Linton as a shrill little ninny tells the audience she likes to slide down the banister at her house because AND I QUOTE it "tickles" her "hooha" and that's all she wrote, for me. We left at intermission to get drunk at the River Cafe (fabulous).

#st. ann's warehouse #off broadway #theatre #wuthering heights #rock musicals

[daggerzine]

Mudhoney live in Denver, CO on 5/3/22 at HQ

My first time at HQ though I had been there in its previous incarnation as Three Kings Tavern a few times and doesn’t look like much has changed…..they may have slapped a fresh coat of paint on it but that’s about it.

Seattle greats Mudhoney brought folks out of the woodwork for this sold out show. If I recall correctly the last time Mudhoney were here was when they headlined the UMS festival in 2013 which happened to be behind the Goodwill across the street from HQ so it was a welcome return.

Vocalist/guitarist Mark Arm, with his hair grown long again, looks like when I first saw them in 1989 (3/12/89 at Court Tavern in New Brunswick, NJ) while the rest of the gents were looking dapper as well. Steve Turner on fuzz guitar, Danny Peters on drums and “new” (not so new anymore) Guy Maddison on bass.

They opened with a great psychedelic version of ‘When Tomorrow Hits” and then into a classic oldie “In n’ Out of Grace.” From there and proceeded to play a fresh set of old and new cuts, all sounding pretty damn terrific. Cuts like “Inside Job” and “Nerve Attack,” both sounded righteous and they played their hit, “Touch Me I’m Sick” right smack in the middle of the set and then just kept going, 4th gear the whole way.

Still hitting on all cylinders we heard “Sweet Young Thing (Ain’t Sweet No More),”  “Suck You Dry,” Creeps Are Everywhere” “I’m Now” and ending the set with “One Bad Actor” (from 2019’s Morning in America EP).  

The crowd wasn’t going to let them off that easily as they came out and played a few encores, namely “You Got It,” “If I Think” and “Here Comes Sickness” before being carried off on the shoulders of the rabid crowd and being brought onto the streets of South Broadway and paraded around like heralded actors in a Russ Meyer movie. The only kind of send off for this great band.

[roukabi]

[Note: long post bc I needed to put my image ids in here]

Spotify Wrapped is here and i

First of all how did My Alcoholic Friends win over Achilles Come Down or Dear Wormwood. Though I will say it's a banger...

[Image Description: An image with the cover for The Dresden Dolls' album, "Yes, Virginia...". A caption says, "Your top song of the year was My Alcoholic Friends by The Dresden Dolls", and smaller text reads, "You played it a very reasonable 19 times. As is your right." There is a side meter on the image, indicating that the music has been turned down to mute. This is because I suck at taking screenshots with my phone. End Description]

Where did this come from. Why is it the agender flag. This is all your fault VideNoirbyLordHuron

[Image ID: An image with a cloudy green and white aura of some sort. A caption reads, "Your top music moods are 'spooky' and 'affectionate'. End ID]

BROADWAY is my top genre??? PIRATE???

[Image ID: An image with 5 stretched out words, ranked from 1 to 5. These are my top genres. They are, starting from 1, Broadway, then Indie Folk, then Indie Pop, then Pirate, then Metropolis. Whatever those last two mean. End ID]

Cheezus Crust who are the 370 other artists

[Image ID: An image with a blue background and text that reads “You listened to 327 different artists, but things got pretty serious with one...” End ID]

#1 Artist! Top .5% babeyy

[Image ID: An image of a Two Truths One Lie card. This card says, “Truth”. It shows Lord Huron’s “Long Lost” album cover, with the true statement being, “The artist you binge-listened to the most was Lord Huron”. End ID]

The four horsemen of the existential folk apocalypse and then the one (1) Reeve Carney song I have in my entire Spotify Library

(Though I suppose we're counting Hadestown here?)

[Image ID: A list of my top 5 artists. They are, starting from 1, Lord Huron, The Oh Hellos, The Crane Wives, Brent Arnold, and Reeve Carney.]

Hmmmmm... needs more Arcadian Wild and Gang of Youths and maybe Damon Daunno imo. But not a bad roundup!

[Image ID: An image showing my top 5 artists (mentioned in previous description) and top 5 songs. Starting from 1, they are My Alchoholic Friends, Dog Nightmare, Ancient Names (Part 1, though this is cut off by an elipse on the image), Setting Sun, and Poor George. The image also shows my total listening time: 8,053 minutes, as well as my top genre: Broadway. End ID]

Oh for fucks sake acd is 6TH PLACE

[Image ID: the first seven tracks of my top 100 songs playlist. The first five were mentioned in the previous description (My Alcoholic Friends, Dog Nightmare, etc.), but the 6th place song is Achilles Come Down, and the 7th place song is Dreamland by Glass Animals. End ID]

#behold my silly music tastes #spotify wrapped #lord huron #the oh hellos #the crane wives #reeve carney #long post #image heavy #the dresden dolls #rook roars! #why is the quality so bad

[prettyoddfever]

april 2006 AIM interview with spencer smith:

Spencer’s interviews were my absolute favorite...

ScottBinMusic: hey hey 

ScottBinMusic: Where are you right now? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: my house in Las Vegas 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well my parents’ house in las vegas 

ScottBinMusic: ahhh. so what's it like growing up in Vegas? 

ScottBinMusic: strippers and gambling at age 12? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: of course 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: it’s not as odd as you might expect... 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: neither of my parents worked at a hotel and we live about 20 minutes from the strip so the whole "vegas lifestyle" as people see it on tv really isn’t how our lives are 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: the suburbs are just like any other 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: but we have slot machines in our 7 11's 

ScottBinMusic: whew, at least there's something 

ScottBinMusic: think you'd make a good pit boss? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: i am a pit boss 

ScottBinMusic: oh, that's right, duh 

ScottBinMusic: Tell all the folks out there that don't know who you are what you sound like

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well, I guess in the broadest of terms we are a rock band. We incorporate some electronic instruments such as drum machines and synths, as well as more organic instruments like accordion, vibraphone, trumpet and stringed instruments like cello and violin 

ScottBinMusic: I hear some FOB, Killers, Bad Religion and some Broadway Musicals -- fair?

PaniqAtTheDiscko: throw some Queen and Third Eye Blind in there and we'll call it a day 

ScottBinMusic: speaking of killers, any Vegas rivalry going on? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: no 

ScottBinMusic: ever see them and be like "hey bitches, we got like 10 times as many friends on myspace as you" 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: haha. we get asked about them all the time. None of us has ever actually met them. I do remember seeing flyers about their local shows a few years ago but I’ve never seen them. I actually really like their record 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: what’s myspace 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: ? 

ScottBinMusic: apparently something the kids are into on the interweb 

ScottBinMusic: you should check it out sometime 

ScottBinMusic: for chicks and stuff 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: oh ok 

ScottBinMusic: ok, so the name of the band... 

ScottBinMusic: you guys ever been to a disco?

PaniqAtTheDiscko: no 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: but.... 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: when we were making up the name it was a toss up between "burn down the disco" which is a line in the Smiths song ‘Panic,’ or “panic at the disco” which is a line in a Name Taken song also called panic.

PaniqAtTheDiscko: for some reason we chose panic at the disco 

ScottBinMusic: it's a good name 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: thank you 

ScottBinMusic: so you just got back from Japan 

ScottBinMusic: how was that? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: awesome. So unlike American shows. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: The kids are very respectful and are completely silent between songs. Not because they don’t like your band, just because that’s what they are used to doing. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: but the shows were great. we couldn’t have asked for a better first time experience 

ScottBinMusic: if you didn't know about the silence b/w songs would you be like, wow these kids think we suck? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: haha. yea probably. I’ve never been in front of so many people and been able to talk across stage at a normal volume 

ScottBinMusic: kind of weird. 

ScottBinMusic: you score any good hello kitty gear over there 

ScottBinMusic: or run into any biker gangs? 

ScottBinMusic: or harajuku girls? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well we did brawl with a rival biker krew, and then did endless lines of coke with hookers 

ScottBinMusic: weird, that's exactly what I did last time I was there 

ScottBinMusic: so you guys are taking off pretty quickly 

ScottBinMusic: how does that feel? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: it feels great, things couldn’t be going any better for us. We’re just trying to keep control of everything and get our heads around it 

ScottBinMusic: did all you guys graduate from high school? Or did this start during high school? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well the band started while we were all in high school. Brendon graduated at his high school. me and brent finished our senior year taking online classes and Ryan completed his first semester of college. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: we left to go record our record 4 days after Brendon’s last day of school 

ScottBinMusic: rules 

ScottBinMusic: any plan for more schooling 

ScottBinMusic: or see where the music takes you? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well we just broke up yesterday because Brendon and I are starting classes at the community college to learn how to better our skills at pit bossing 

ScottBinMusic: good plan for sure 

ScottBinMusic: good benefits at some of the casinos I hear 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: unbelievable 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: paid vacations and everything 

ScottBinMusic: and you can double your paychecks so easy at blackjack 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: I see you know your way around a casino 

ScottBinMusic: I run my own casino out of the back of a 7 11 in Laughlin 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: nice 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: i prefer all on black 

ScottBinMusic: you're about to go out on your first headlining tour. excited? nervous? Who's going with you? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: very excited. we’re trying to put together a very theatrical performance so it is stressful trying to get it all together. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: we finally aren’t going to be limited by a 30 minute set with a 15 minute change over playing in front the headlining bands drum riser 

ScottBinMusic: haahha 

ScottBinMusic: so theatrical?? 

ScottBinMusic: costume changes? 

ScottBinMusic: blood a la gwar? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: were going to have air canons that shoot ground up poultry into the crowd 

ScottBinMusic: genius 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: salmonella 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: everywhere 

ScottBinMusic: free range? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: duh 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: haha..... 

ScottBinMusic: rad 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: no we are going to have props like you would see in a play 

ScottBinMusic: were you guys theatre nerds in high school? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: actually no. Brendon is the only one with acting skills in the band. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: but it should be exciting nonetheless 

ScottBinMusic: definitely 

ScottBinMusic: heard of or have any good labels for your music? 

ScottBinMusic: for instance... scarf rock, sweater core... 

ScottBinMusic: along those lines? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: pop punk rock indie electronica core / southern texan midwest swang music 

ScottBinMusic: just rolls off the tongue 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: we try 

ScottBinMusic: just a couple more here 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: ok 

ScottBinMusic: what do you guys like to do on off days on the road? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: well it’s always a little frustrating being in the middle of a city on a day off and because you don’t live there you have no idea where anything is. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: all you can really do is try to find a movie theatre or a mall. we've been to just about every mall in America. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: and i don’t even like malls. 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: we need to get something that tells us where all the good strip joints and clubs are cause that’s where i spend my tuesday afternoons at home 

ScottBinMusic: you should start a blog 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: haha 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: whats a blog? 

ScottBinMusic: “all the good strip joints across America by PATD” 

ScottBinMusic: i think a blog is a nicely carved piece of wood 

ScottBinMusic: hand carved 

ScottBinMusic: by inuits in Alaska

PaniqAtTheDiscko: are blogs those the little circle plastic things i collected as a kid? 

ScottBinMusic: oh, wait, yeah i think you're right 

ScottBinMusic: ok. what was the first show that you went to? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: backstreet boys 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: I’m not joking 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: with Ryan 

ScottBinMusic: that so rules 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: when i was like 9 

ScottBinMusic: did you dance dance? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: duh 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: We learned all the moves from the ‘Backstreet’s Back’ video. 

ScottBinMusic: awesome. is it weird to think that your band is a lot of kids’ first show now? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: that is weird. hopefully we give them something they remember 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: like backstreet did for me 

ScottBinMusic: high hopes my friend 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: my second show ever was blackstreet 

ScottBinMusic: for real? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: no diggity 

ScottBinMusic: you got mad cred 

ScottBinMusic: OK, final question... 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: alright 

ScottBinMusic: if your records sales started to slip 

ScottBinMusic: and your label was like, man we got to do something 

ScottBinMusic: would you let one of the FOB graze you with a bullet in a drive-by 

ScottBinMusic: nothing serious 

ScottBinMusic: but you know, for publicity? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: yes 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: only if it was shot by Patrick, goes through one of the guys in the Killers and then I catch the bullet with my mouth and swallow it only to get led poisoning 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: but before I die ill strangle kevin form backstreet 

ScottBinMusic: you should so be in PR. add that as one of your classes next semester 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: consider it done 

ScottBinMusic: straight to number one on the charts 

ScottBinMusic: you should also think about starting beef with lady SOV 

ScottBinMusic: make way for PATDeeeeeeeee 

ScottBinMusic: ok, that’s all i got. thanks for taking the time to chat with aol music 

ScottBinMusic: any parting words? 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: thank you, I’m about to go chill with AJ from backstreet at Ghost Bar 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: I’m so cool 

PaniqAtTheDiscko: bye 

ScottBinMusic: bye 

#spencer #early06 #favorites

[johnrossbowie]

LEAVING TWITTER

I wrote this earlier in the fall, before the election, after dissolving my Twitter account. I wasn’t sure where to put it (“try up your ass!” – someone, I’m sure) and then I remembered I have a tumblr I never use. Anyway, here tis.

How do you shame someone who thinks Trumps’ half-baked policies and quarter-baked messaging put him in the pantheon of great Presidents? How do you shame someone so lacking in introspection that they will call Obama arrogant while praising Trump’s decisiveness and yet at the same time vehemently deny that they’re racist? How do you shame someone for whom that racism is endearing and maybe long overdue?

You don’t. It’s silly to think otherwise.

Twitter is an addiction of mine, and true to form, my dependence on it grew more serious after I quit drinking in 2010. At first it was a chance to mouth off, make jokes both stupid and erudite and occasionally stick my foot in my mouth (I owe New Yorker writer Tad Friend an apology. He knows why, or (God willing) he’s forgotten. Either way. Sorry.) I blew off steam, steam that was accumulating without booze to dampen the flames. Not always constructive venting, but I also met new friends, and connected with people whose work I’ve admired for literal decades and ended up seeing plays with Lin-Manuel Miranda and hanging backstage with Jane Wiedlin after a Go-Go’s show and exchanging sober thoughts with Mike Doughty. When my mom passed in 2018, a lot of people reached out to tell me they were thinking of me. This was nice. For a while, Twitter was a huge help when I needed it.

I used to hate going to parties and really hated dancing and mingling, but a couple of drinks would fix that. Point is, for a while, booze was a huge help, too.

But my engagement with Twitter changed, and I started calling people my ‘friends’ even though I’d never once met them or even heard their voices. These weren’t even penpals, these were people whose jokes or stances I enjoyed, so with Arthurian benevolence I clicked on a little heart icon, liked their tweet, and assumed therefore that we had signed some sort of blood oath.

We had not. I got glib, and cheap, and a little lazy. And then to make matters much worse, Trump came along and extended his reach with the medium.

There was a while there where I thought I could be a sort of voice for the voiceless, and I thought I was doing that. I tried very hard to only contribute things that I felt were not being said – It wasn’t accomplishing anything to notice “Haha Trump looks like he’s bullshitting his way through an oral report” – such things were self-evident. I tried to point out very specific inconsistencies in his policies, like the Muslim ban meant to curb terrorism that still favored the country that brought forth 13 of the 9/11 hijackers. Like his full-throated cries against media bias performed while he suckled at Roger Ailes’ wrinkly teat.  Like his fondness for evangelical votes that coincided with a scriptural knowledge that lagged far behind mine, even though I’m a lapsed Episcopalian, and there is no one less religiously observant than a lapsed Episcopalian. But that eventually gave way to unleashing ad hominem attacks against his higher profile supporters, who I felt weren’t being questioned enough, who I felt were in turn being fawned over by theirdim supporters. If you’re one of these guys, and you think I’m talking about you, you’re probably right, but don’t mistake this for an apology. You suck, and you support someone who sucks, and your idolatry is hurting our country and its standing in the world. Fuck you entirely, but that’s not the point. The point is that me screaming into the toilet of Twitter helps no one – it doesn’t help a family stuck at the border because they’re trying to secure a better life for their kids. It doesn’t help a poor teenager who can’t get an abortion because the party of ‘small government’ has squeezed their tiny jurisdiction into her uterus. It doesn’t help the coal miner who’s staking all his hopes on a dying industry and a President’s empty promises to resurrect it. I was born in New York City, and I currently live in Los Angeles. Those are the only two places I’ve ever lived, if you don’t count the 4 years I spent in Ithaca[1]. So, yes, I live in a liberal bubble, and while I’ve driven across the country a couple of times and did a few weeks in a touring band and am as crushed as any heartlander about the demise of Waffle House, you have me dead to rights if you call me a coastal elitist. And with that in mind, I offer few surprises. A guy who grew up in the theater district and was vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage or felt you should own an AR-15? THAT would be newsworthy. I am not newsworthy. I can preach to the choir, I can confirm people’s biases, but I will likely not sway anyone who is eager to dismiss a Native New Yorker who lives in Hollywood. I grew up in the New York of the 1970s, and that part of my identity did shape my politics. My mom’s boss was gay and the Son of Sam posed a realistic threat. As such, gays are job creators[2] and guns are used for homicide much more often than they are used for self-defense[3]. I have found this to be generally true over the years, and there’s even data to back it up.

“But Mr. Bowie,” you might say, though I insist you call me John - “those studies are conducted by elitist institutions and those institutions suck!” And again, I am not going to reason with people who will dismiss anything that doesn’t fit their limited world view as elitist or, God Help Us, fake news. But the studies above are peer-reviewed, convincing, and there are more where those came from.

“But John,” you might say, and I am soothed that we’re one a first name basis - “Can’t you just stay on Twitter for the jokes?” Ugh. A) apparently not and B) the jokes are few and far between, and I am 100% part of that problem.

I have stuff to offer, but Twitter is not the place from which to offer it.

After years of academically understanding that Twitter is not the real world, Super Tuesday 2020 made the abstract pretty fucking concrete. If you had looked at my feed on the Monday beforehand – my feed which is admittedly curated towards the left, but not monolithic (Hi, Rich Lowry!) – you’d have felt that a solid Bernie surge was imminent, but also that your candidate was going surprise her more vocal critics. When the Biden sweep swept, when Bernie was diminished and when Warren was defeated, I realized that Twitter is not only not the real world, it’s almost some sort of Phillip K. Dickian alternate timeline, untethered to anything we’re actually experiencing in our day to day life. This is both good news and bad news – one, we’re not heading towards a utopia of single payer health care and the eradication of American medical debt any time soon, but two, we’re also not being increasingly governed by diaper-clad jungen like Charlie Kirk. Clouds and their linings. Leaving Twitter may look like ceding ground to the assclowns but get this – the ground. Is not. There.

It’s just air.

There are tangible things I can do with my time - volunteer with a local organization called Food On Foot, who provide food and job training for people experiencing homelessness here in my adopted Los Angeles. I can give money to candidates and causes I support, and I can occasionally even drop by social media to boost a project or an issue and then vanish, like a sort of Caucasian Zorro who doesn’t read his mentions. I can also model good behavior for my kids (ages 10 and 13) who don’t need to see their father glued to his phone, arguing about Trumps incompetence with Constitutional scholars who have a misspelled Bible verse in their bio (three s’ in Ecclesiastes, folks).

So farewell Twitter. I’ll miss a lot of you. Perhaps not as badly as I miss Simon Maloy and Roger Ebert and Harris Wittels and others whose deaths created an unfillable void on the platform. But I won’t miss the yelling, and the lionization of poor grammar, and anonymous trolls telling my Jewish friends that they were gonna leave the country “via chimney.” I will not miss people who think Trump is a stable genius calling me a “fucktard.” I will not miss transphobia or cancelling but I will miss hashtag games, particularly my stellar work during #mypunkmusical (Probably should have quit after that surge, I was on fire that night, real blaze of glory stuff I mean, Christ, Sunday in the Park with the Germs? Husker Du I Hear A Waltz? Fiddler on the Roof (keeping an eye out for the cops)? These are Pulitzer contenders.). Twitter makes me feel lousy, even when I’m right, and I’m often right. There’s just no point in barking bumperstickers at each other, and there are people who are speaking truth to power and doing a cleaner job of it – Aaron Rupar, Steven Pasquale, Louise Mensch, Imani Gandy and Ijeoma Oluo to name five solid mostly politically based accounts (Yes, Pasquale is a Broadway tenor. He’s also a tenacious lefty with good points and research and a dreamy voice. You think you’re straight and then you hear him sing anything from Bridges of Madison County and you want him to spoon you.). You’re probably already following those mentioned, but on the off chance you’re not, get to it. You’ll thank me, but you won’t be able to unless you actually have my email.

_______

[1] And Jesus, that’s worse – Ithaca is such a lefty enclave that they had an actual socialist mayor FOR WHOM I VOTED while I was there. And not socialist the way some people think all Democrats are socialist – I mean Ben Nichols actually ran on the socialist ticket and was re-elected twice for a total of six years.

[2] The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, “America’s LGBT Economy” Jan 20th, 2017

[3] The Violence Policy Institute, Firearm Justifiable Homicides and Non-Fatal Self Defense Gun Use, July 2019.

[ask-irl-lydia-deetz]

//a list of my favourite parts of bj on broadway because it was fucking wonderful and i have A Lot of favourite parts (Act 1)

kim sava was playing delia and presley was playing lydia!

and the prologue was fucking beautiful the sets are perfect

“you’re invisible when you’re sad :((”   “HOLY CRAP!!”

all of TWBDT was amazing of course

“WELCOME TO THE WINTER GARDEN!”

his little dances god I love him so much

THE UKELELE PART

he didn’t catch the ukelele the first time SO HE DANCED INSTEAD HES SO BABY

“THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE HERE”

(sandy is beautiful I love her)

THE ELVIS IMPRESSION FSHSGFS

if you die during tonight’s performance the show will not stop :)

“that was an old Scandinavian folk song”

“invisible.. powerless... like a gay republican”

“this guy knows what i’m talking about”

see that tiny house up there? well it’s a LOT bigger... ON THE INSIIIIIDEEEE!!!!

the sets are amazing oh my god

also the maitlands are adorable i love them so much

"look at this crib UUHGGH"

"LOOK AT THESE JUGS!!" 

(side note i met kerry at stage door and she said that she liked my lydia cosplay i almost cried)

"so you don’t have to face being a bad mom... B A R B A R A"

THE MARACAS

“the next step!” "SKWEEBUIBOOBOODABOOBEE"

“wow... those people just died and you guys are clapping”

“do we have any kids in the audience? you! no, shut up. you. PUPPET SHOW!!”

“sometimes puppet shows are sad”

“Hi. do not be afraid. you are dead. i am also dead.”

“jesus i can't spell.. SHIT”

“LET’S ALL GET NAKED!!” “NO-”

“BAABBSS” *proceeds to straight up kiss barbara on the mouth*

“adam.. you don't recognize me... i’m your father..”

“no offense sir but you give me the creeps” “well you give me a boner”

“THEY CAN’T SEE US!!” “𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓪𝓭𝓪𝓶”

TWBDT reprise. need i say more.

BEING DEAD HAS IT’S PERKS *insert cute dance here*

LET’S GET RID OF THESE JERKS *insert adam and barbara dancing* “i- no.”

MMMMMYESSS THERE IS VERY GOOD ENERGY IN HEREEE!!!

i loved kim she was so great

“hes my white whale” “i dont see race”

SUCKS YES!!

“does this couch make me look dead”

“hey delia.. knock knock!” “NO NOT ANSWERING I HAVE A PEEPHOLE I CAN SEE YOU YOU'RE SCARY GOODBYE!!!”

dead mom was so good 

“and then she was like ‘but i don't have any baby oil’ and i was like ‘but i have some guacamole’ and that is how i *made nachos* with catherine hepburn”

“we just took this amazing glass blowing class... and the teacher was wiccan, so it’s kind of like this!” “i am not wiccan and that is nothing like this.”

“WE DO NOT WANT TO KILL!” “its a figure of speech adam okay jesus christ why do you have to be so sexy”

“yell out the scariest thing you can think of” “THE TRADER JOE’S PARKING LOT!!”

“except for the white part,, obviously”

“you make them say.. THIS” “DOLLY LEVI, MATCHMAKER...” “NO- NO. wrong card.”

“it’s just... you make daddy so angry”

“EXCUSE ME MR BEETLEJUICE... we can kinda hear you :(”

“dress like a baby!” “i don't- no.”

“you’re going to have to watch a new show tonight. the maitlands: more boring than brigadoon.”

“that’s right. i said it. fuck brigadoon.”

‘don’t text me in the middle of the night saying ‘u up’ because... new phonnee..... whh,, wHHOO DIISS’

“SEE YOU IN HELL!! *smoke bomb* I'M GONE.”

“i’m gonna use the door.”

“hey guys... fuck you guys.”

“THAT GUY.... NEEDS THERAPY”

“let’s... HAUNT THIS BITCH”

“i know that i’m paid to care about you... but i’d like us to be real friends!” *dab*

“depression is like an ugly sweater.. it’s okay at christmas... but the rest of the time you got to put it away.”

“black reminds me of a funeral.. this is business dinner!!” “it could be both.. a toast to my father and his all-important business.. also one of your wine glasses is POISONED!!!” “LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT!!! ,,smash.”

“buy more crystals”

“greetings ghosts... my name is lydia deetz... do not be afraid”

“you’re my employee but also my lover.. it’s..” “prostitution.”

“do you understand what i’m proposing?? i’m proposing!!”

when lyds pulled the cover off her dad’s bed and delia was under there

AND THEN PURPLE BJ I LOVE HIM

the extra arms and legs>>

“you’re invisible when you’re,, SKWOOBADOOBOOBWEEEBOO- me.”

“can you see me??” “yeah you look like a bloated zebra that a lion ripped apart and didn’t eat because something was obviously wrong with it so it just rotted in the hot african sun.” “YOU CAN SEE ME-”

“IM GONNA JUMP-” “NOOO!! i mean.. noo.”

FAKE CARTWHEEL!!

“namaste!” “TIRAMISU!”

“who wants bacon!!’

“IM A VEGAN”

god all of day o was so chaotic there was so much to look at but i loved it

“i can't keep living like this!! BEETLEJUICE!!” *bj fucking climbs out from inside the table*

“see dad? this is what you get.” “YEAH DAD THIS IS WHAT YOU GET”

and he spark thing he does is so cool oh my god

IT’S OUR HOUSE NOW KID!!

LOOKS LIKE WE’RE NOT INVISIBLE ANYMOOREE

#beetlegeuse #beetlejuice #ooc #incorrect beetlejuice quotes #beej #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice bway #lydia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #delia deetz #charles deetz

[mst3kproject]

The Cape Canaveral Monsters

This movie was written and directed by Phil Tucker, who did the same for MST3K classic Robot Monster, and stars Katherine ‘Batwoman’ Victor.  It was shot mostly in and around Bronson Canyon, because the desert rocks of California look exactly like the wetlands of Florida.  I haven’t even pressed ‘play’ yet and I already need a drink.

A couple are driving home from the beach when they get into a car accident, and their bodies are taken over by a pair of aliens named Haran and Naja.  Almost immediately, mysterious accidents start to plague rocket launches at Cape Canaveral.  While the scientists try to figure out why their shit is blowing up, a bunch of supposedly-young folks on a double-date pick up some weird interference on their car radios. When they go looking for the source of this, the aliens capture them and inform them that they will be beamed back to the home planet as frozen specimens – or used as spare parts to upgrade the aliens’ undead bodies, which are slowly falling apart!

The Cape Canaveral Monsters is a better movie than Robot Monster, but honestly… what isn’t?  Fuck’s sake, Battlefield Earth is a better movie than Robot Monster (though if I had to pick one to watch, I’d choose Robot Monster because it’s short).  There was really nowhere for Tucker to go but up.

Sadly, the very fact that it is (slightly) better also makes it less interesting than Robot Monster.  Robot Monster is a sixty-two minute parade of bad ideas, cheaply realized, so far off the deep end of terrible that it becomes mesmerizing.  Cape Canaveral Monsters doesn’t have anything nearly so weird as aliens in gorilla suits who communicate by bubble machine, or nearly so cheap as visible strings holding up their space stations. It’s got actual sets instead of being filmed in some rubble and a field, and an attempt is made at a couple of special effects.  There’s certainly nothing so jaw-droppingly incompetent as Ro-Man’s inept philosophizing, and there’s an identifiable hero in the form of Tom, the oldest and smartest of the four young people.

But that still leaves it a lot of latitude to suck, and Cape Canaveral Monsters sucks balls.  The photography is awful, with a lot of shots noticeably over-exposed and some terrible framing and composition.  The film stock was cheap to begin with and it doesn’t help at all that it was around fifty years old by the time somebody put it on DVD for 85¢. It’s nearly impossible to see anybody’s faces, although that’s kind of okay, because nobody here gives a performance worth watching.  When the best actor in your movie is Batwoman, that’s sad.

You may have noticed that I said an attempt was made at special effects – this attempt is in no way successful. When not occupying human bodies, the aliens are literal white spots bobbing around in front of the camera (man, remember the good old days when alien invasions were just two people who could be taken out by some plucky teenagers and one redneck with a gun?). Rocket launches are of course all stock footage, but since they’re unsuccessful launches at least we get to see something besides the same five shots all the other 50’s rocket movies use.  The aliens’ high tech lab consists mostly of dials and their communications antenna looks like it’s made out of lawn furniture.

My favourite bad effect in the film is any of the ones connected with Haran’s missing arm, which is sort of a running thing if not exactly a joke.  When the previous incumbent of his host body was killed in the car wreck, his left arm was severed – Naja goes back to collect it, saying she’ll sew it back on. The arm she retrieves from the back of the car is very clearly still attached to somebody, who is not very good at keeping still.  Later, a dog rips this arm back off and proudly presents it to the military types. It’s hard to judge how good this fake arm is because of the bad photography, but it is still in a sleeve – yet when we see Haran a moment later, his sleeve is bloodied but still very much intact. You can probably guess that the ‘missing’ arm is often clearly visible under the actor’s shirt.

Likewise, the sets.  Haran and Naja’s base is in a cave, which is almost definitely the same cave inhabited by Ro-Man and the Parrot-Bear from Night of the Blood Beast.  The inside of this cave is an empty room full of dials – the same dials, rearranged in the same empty room, form the NASA control room where the scientists are working. The Sheriff’s Office later in the film is literally a niche in a wall.  I actually kind of admire their determination.  It takes guts to try making a movie when you’ve got so little to work with.

The most interesting idea in the movie is one I don’t think it meant to include, and that is the inconvenient fact that the bodies the two aliens are occupying are dead.  The Cape Canaveral Monsters never makes much of this except for Haran repeatedly needing replacement arms (and at one point a chin).  We never go into whether they still need to do things like eat, sleep, and pee.  It’s kind of a shame, because there’s potential here for both horror and comedy. The aliens don’t appear to feel pain, so that Haran can lose his arm and only be mildly annoyed by it… this, and the repeatedly sewing new ones on, could have been funny if handled right (the bit where he awkwardly fires a giant ray gun using only one arm is kinda funny, but not on purpose).  If they’d met anybody the couple used to know, that could have been creepy. Sadly, the whole plot point is only present to keep the budget down, since they don’t need costumes for the aliens.

Another thing that could have been used to better effect is the tense relationship between the two aliens.  Haran and Naja don’t like one another, and spend a fair amount of time bickering like an unhappily married couple.  Naja seems to be in charge, while Haran is some kind of technician who resents her trying to micromanage him.  None of this, unfortunately, is ever explored.  The arguments are used to provide exposition. Why they don’t get along, and why they were sent on this mission together regardless, we never find out. You’d think their disagreements would be key to their defeat, but instead the scientists build a bomb out of salt, hydrogen, and everybody’s belt buckles.

(This is one of several stars The Cape Canaveral Monsters earns for bullshit Movie Science.  Not only do we have this bit, there’s also the part where Haran tells his captives that the bubbling liquid involved in beaming human specimens home is ‘like your hydrogen’ but with a ‘much greater’ atomic weight.  At least they got the chemical name of salt right, although I can’t imagine in what universe scientists actually ask their families to pass the sodium chloride at dinner.)

Besides obtaining specimens, the other reason Haran and Naja are on earth is to keep our space program stalled until the aliens’ invasion fleet arrives.  Exactly what good it would do us to be able to launch a capsule with one guy in it (which was what we were working up to at the time this movie was made) is not explained… maybe it’s gonna take hundreds of years for the rest of the aliens to get here and they’re afraid we’ll develop warp drives and photon torpedoes before they make it?  The pair identify themselves as Earth Expedition Two, which naturally makes the viewer wonder what happened to Earth Expedition One.  Are they in Russia, trying to keep Yuri Gagarin on the ground?  Or was 1 just a complete failure and now we’re on Plan 2 From Outer Space?

At the end, the humans have blown up the aliens’ cave and they leave laughing.  “I don’t think we’ll see them again!” Tom declares.  This seems overly optimistic, as there is at least that one other Earth Expedition, and sure enough, the ‘gotcha’ ending immediately proves him wrong.

Thinking about Robot Monster and The Cape Canaveral Monsters, it seems to me that Phil Tucker really wanted to do some epic storytelling.  In the former we have the tragic tale of an alien discovering human love and beauty, only to be destroyed before he can fully come to terms with them.  In the latter we have advance scouts preparing Earth for invasion, who seem to be easily defeated but actually have us right where they want us.  In both, all humanity’s efforts to resist come to naught and we are doomed to conquest or extinction.  This is hefty stuff, contrasting human arrogance with how insignificant we really are in the face of this vast, empty, hostile universe.  The ambition was certainly present.  The money and talent were not.

The Cape Canaveral Monsters is terrible. I don’t recommend it to anybody. It’s the kind of bad movie that you go into hoping it’ll be fun and then end up getting fed off and turning it off ten minutes in… and yet, I’m curious now.  As well as this, Robot Monster, and previous EtNW Dance Hall Racket, Phil Tucker wrote and directed a couple of other films in the 50’s and 60’s.  These have titles like Tijuana After Midnight and Broadway Jungle that sound like they’re probably softcore titty movies, but the masochist in me kind of wants to watch them.  When your career includes Robot Monster and The Cape Canaveral Monsters, can I really take it for granted that’s as bad as you could get?

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #the cape canaveral monsters #60s

[letterboxd]

Satisfied?

We examine what Letterboxd reviews of Hamilton reveal about the musical’s cultural currency in 2020.

In this absolutely insane year, when our love of movies feels helpless in the face of pandemic-induced economic collapse, some extremely good decisions are being made on behalf of audiences. Studio Ghibli on streaming platforms. Virtual screenings to support art house cinemas. Free streaming of many important films about Black experience. And: Disney+ releasing the filmed version of Hamilton: An American Musical—recorded at the Richard Rodgers Theater in 2016 with most of its original Broadway cast—a year ahead of schedule, on Independence Day weekend.

“Superlative pop art,” writes Wesley of the filmed musical. “Hamilton wears its influences and themes on its sleeve, and it’s all the better for it. Lin-Manuel Miranda and his team employ an unlikely cocktail of not only hip-hop and showtunes, but also jazz (‘What’d I Miss?’), British-Invasion pop-rock (‘You’ll Be Back’), folk music (‘Dear Theodosia’) and Shakespeare (‘Take a Break’) in service of developing an impressively vast array of themes. This is a testament to the power of writing, an immigrant narrative, a cautionary tale about ambition, a tragic family drama, and a reevaluation of who decides the narrative of history.”

2016 may only be a half-decade ago, but it feels like an eon in American political years. With theaters dark and America’s long record of racism under urgent scrutiny, the complex smash-hit lands back in the spotlight at an interesting time. Is Hamilton “the most offensive cultural artefact of the last decade”, as Lee writes? Or “timeless and wholly of the moment”, as Tom suggests? The answer, according to a deep read of your Letterboxd reviews, is “all of the above”.

First things first: why now?

Sophie has a theory:

“Disney executive: Hey we’re losing a lot of money because our parks are closed. How do we start making money again?

Other Disney executive: It might be nice, it might be nice… to get Hamilton on our side.”

Sure, business. Still, it’s historically unprecedented that a Broadway show of this caliber (a record-setting sixteen Tony nominations, eleven wins, plus a Grammy and a Pulitzer) would be filmed and released to the public while it’s still, in a Covid-free universe, capable of filling theaters every night. Will people stay away when Broadway reopens because they’re all Disney+’d out?

No chance, reckons Erika. “I’d still kill to see Hamilton live with any cast… I get why producers are afraid that these videos might hurt ticket sales, but I’m fucking ready to buy a ticket and fly to NY one day just to see as many shows as I can after watching this.”

Not every musical fan has the resources to travel, often waiting years for a touring version to come near their hometown. And even if you do live in a town with Hamilton, the ticket price is beyond many; a daily lottery the only way some of us get to go. So Holly-Beth speaks for many when she writes: “I entered the Hamilton lottery every day for almost two years but I never got to be in the room where it happens… however, this 4K recording of the original cast will do very nicely for now! Finally getting to see the context and performances after obsessing over the music for years was so, so satisfying.”

“Finally” is a common theme. Sydnie writes, “I love this musical with every fiber of my body and it was an extraordinary experience finally getting to watch it in Australia”. Flogic: “To finally be able to put the intended visuals to a soundtrack that I’ve had on repeat for such a long time: goosebumps for 160 minutes.” Newt Potter: “Now I fully understand people’s love for this masterpiece of a musical!”

I’ve got a small query for you.

Where’s the motherfucking swearing? Unsurprisingly, Disney+ comes with some limitations. For Hamilton, it’s the loss of a perfectly placed F-word.

“I know Disney is ‘too pure’ to let a couple of ‘fucks’ slip by,” writes Fernando, “but come on, it’s kind of distracting having the sound go out completely when they sing the very satisfying ‘Southern Motherfucking Democratic Republicans!’ line.”

Will agrees: “Disney cutting ‘motherfucking’ from ‘Washington on Your Side’ felt like sacrilege akin to Mickey Mouse taking an eyebrow pencil to the Mona Lisa.”

Nevertheless, sings Allison:

“Even tho Disney stripped the story of its f***s, Don’t think for a moment that it sucks.”

(Yes, she has a vegan alert for Hamilton.)

Does it throw away its shot?

The crew filmed two regular shows in front of live audiences, with additional audience-less sessions for a dolly, crane and Steadicam to capture specific numbers. The vast majority of you are satisfied. “It’s the most engaging and expertly crafted life filming I’ve seen since Stop Making Sense,” writes ArtPig. “The film does an incredible job of placing you right in the action. It feels like the best seat you could get in the theater. You can see the sweat and spit.”

“Translates perfectly onto the small screen,” agrees Ollie. “There’s a level of intimacy that feels hard to replicate in any other filmed production. We see those close ups, the passion and gusto behind every actor’s performance.”

“Shockingly cinematic for something filmed on such a small stage,” is Technerd’s succinct summary, while Paul praises director Thomas Kail: “He knows when to back away along with moving nearer when appropriate, and the choices always serve to govern the power and stamina of the performances.”

Though cast members’ voices were recorded on individual audio tracks, Noah had a few quibbles with the sound quality. “Some of the audio capture is off in the recording, sometimes voices being too soft or too loud. It’s not immersion breaking, but it is noticeable enough to irk me a little in pivotal moments. Some of the shot composition doesn’t fully work either. Of course nothing is going to be as good as seeing it in person.”

Robert, recalling another recent cinematic escapade of musical theater, lets his poetry do the talking:

“This will do for now until the true movie’s made, Though if Hooper directs, there’ll be an angry tirade.”

I think your pants look hot.

Hamilton fans have their cast favorites, but something about being able to see Jonathan Groff’s spittle and Leslie Odom Jr’s scowls in 4K has you losing it all over again. Several specific shout-outs we enjoyed:

“Daveed Diggs the Legend! Go watch Blindspotting (2018), it’s one of the best movies ever!” —Kyle

“It’s hard to believe anyone will ever top Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr. I already loved him from the original cast recording, but seeing his full performance in all its glory was just godly.” —Erika

“Thankful that it was made possible for me to view with such clarity the phenomenon that is Renée Elise Goldsberry and spectacular Phillipa Soo.” —Thea

“Daveed Diggs was electrifying and Jonathan Groff was absolutely hilarious. If they interacted together the stage would’ve combusted from the sheer will of their talent.” —Nick

This is not a game.

On one hand, the release of Hamilton is sweet relief for music theater nerds riding out the pandemic. A generation of kids knows every word by heart, rapping (this version of) American history like it’s no thing. On the other, the Obama-era musical already feels behind-the-times, even for many Hamilton lovers, and the filmed version has brought that into sharp focus.

“I listened to the OG cast album about 50 times when it came out, the production is about as good as I’d always hoped,” writes Josh. “Since then however there’s been a very important and broader reckoning with the failures of neoliberalism and the Obama years ([from] which this has to be the most emblematic piece of art) and for me personally a drifting further to the left that has resulted in a very different relationship with the material. So my feelings today are a bit more complicated.”

“Hamilton is extremely non-committal about its politics,” writes Sting. “It doesn’t examine much of what Hamilton dictated besides ‘he wants complete financial control of the country’ (which would sound like a fucking supervillain in any other context, including reality).”

That lack of political commitment, reckons Morgan, is what helped Hamilton as a musical become so popular: “It’s fun. It’s catchy. It interweaves trendy and socially relevant artistic tools to infer a subversive subtext, while simultaneously sanitizing and, at times, flat out fabricating the historical narrative and downplaying the brutality of the true origin story, for the sake of appeasing those in power. Classic Bill Shakespeare stuff.”

History has its eyes on you.

Much criticism lies with the fundamental storytelling decision to make a modern ruckus about America’s Founding Fathers, the men (including Alexander Hamilton) who in the late eighteenth century united the thirteen colonies and co-wrote the Constitution. Undisputed titans of history, they also have blood on their hands, and HoneyRose writes that the musical “glorifies these men, and paints them as self-sacrificing heroes, and honestly normalizes and validates slavery, as well as the behavior of slave owners.”

Stevie, who saw the Broadway production as well as the filmed version, confesses: “I’ve tried (I’ve really tried) to understand what makes people lose their minds over this but I’m still completely baffled by the hype… These were horrible men and a romanticism of them through song and dance just seems entirely misguided.”

Sean is not convinced that Hamilton is a hagiography. “I can’t imagine anyone watching all of this and thinking it paints a portrait of the Founding Fathers as anything other than childish, greedy, venal and self-aggrandizing.” Wesley agrees: “I don’t think Hamilton is trying to be a history lesson, so much as a lesson about how we think about history. It’s a compelling human story told in a revolutionary way.”

That “revolutionary way” is the musical’s central conceit: that of a cast-of-color playing the white founding fathers as they bumble towards independence. Journalist Jamelle Bouie, who regards the musical as “fun, exciting, innovative and, at points, genuinely moving,” wrestles with the “celebratory narrative in which the Framers are men to admire without reservation. Through its casting, it invites audiences of color to take ownership of that narrative, as if they should want to take ownership of a narrative that white-washes the history of the revolution under the guise of inclusion.”

It’s complicated for Matt, too: “It’s widely agreed upon that the show encapsulates the Obama era better than anything, how it coddles white liberals with a post-racial vision of history in a superficial sense, overlooking the insidious and oppressive systems that they benefit from (hearing the audience clap to ‘Immigrants, we get the job done’ unsettled me). Of course hopefully its legacy will be that it opened up more Broadway roles for POC. But I really think that the show doesn’t make Broadway more appealing and accessible to POC, it just makes hip hop more accessible to white people, a launching pad of course to listening to Watsky or something.

“No hate though to anyone that’s completely in love with this, it’s definitely worth seeing despite any hang ups.”

I wanna build something that’s gonna outlive me.

The story doesn’t end, just because the music does. Kai_Kenn has a suggestion: “I have been a part of discussions that dissect the culture that created Hamilton, as well as the culture that Hamilton created, and whether or not Hamilton appropriately addresses the modern issues [that] the cult following proposes it does.

“This is an ongoing discussion that I am trying to be an active listener in and, if you consider yourself to be a conscientious consumer of art, you should too.”

Noah is on board with that: “Reflecting on the past and focusing on the future are not two mutually exclusive actions. Both are a must, regardless of who you are or what you do. A five-star experience in a four-and-a-half-star film. I think that’s just fine.”

Related content

Want to see more of the key cast? Watch Daveed Diggs in ‘Blindspotting’; Renée Elise Goldsberry in ‘Waves’, Jonathan Groff repeat his role as Kristoff in ‘Frozen 2’, Lin-Manuel Miranda in ‘Mary Poppins Returns’, Leslie Odom Jr. in ‘Harriet’, Phillipa Soo in the forthcoming ‘Broken Hearts Gallery’, Christopher Jackson in the forthcoming ‘In The Heights’, Jasmine Cephas Jones in ‘The Photograph’, Okiereriete Onaodowan in ‘A Quiet Place II’ and Anthony Ramos in ‘Monsters and Men’ and ‘A Star is Born’.

Ways to support the Black Lives Matter movement

Official Black Lives Matter’s Resources

Teenagers that have ‘Hamilton’ stuff on their bedroom walls

Films where they mention ‘Hamilton’

#hamilton #hamilton an american musical #disney #disney plus #disney+ #lin manuel miranda #leslie odom jr #daveed diggs #founding fathers #constitution #broadway #richard rodgers theatre #jonathan groff #letterboxd #renee elise goldsberry #phillipa soo #christopher jackson #musical theater edit #musical theatre #anthony ramos

[janiedean]

hello!! I would *love* to know what it is about Bruce Springsteen’s music that you like so much (I swear this isn’t hate/trying to start an argument also!!)

OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

anyway it’s a lot of things honestly but if we want to make a non comprehensive list

he’s... viscerally honest? in the sense that one of the things that caught my attention when it came to bruce is that whatever he sings he means it and you can hear it from thirty seconds of it, and if you see him live it’s just even better, and as someone who prefers listening to people who write their own music for a lot of reasons but the chief one is that to me music is a thing I really relate to, I prefer listening to people who put themselves in their music you know, which is why bruce is just... that... much good when it comes to it for me

he has a gift for making relatable situations that you never experienced that I don’t think anyone else in music has, I mean... just take youngstown which is in my top ten bruce songs ever - I don’t come from the US, I never set foot in ohio and I don’t even know how the fuck does a steel factory work, but it doesn’t matter because if you hear that song you feel for the people in it almost like you knew them yourself and that’s a thing that just speaks to me and he isn’t from that background either but he could manage anyway, and tbh it’s kind of what I would like to be able to do with prose at any given time

musically he’s just... generally my thing, I mean when it comes to choice of melody/arrangements and so on but then again that is my genre so

I generally love how much of himself he puts into his songs - that’s tangential to point one but I mean, the thing is that he also makes his experiences viscerally relatable and the fact that one of the core themes of his work is how horrible it is to be stuck in a point in your life that you hate/feel unfulfilled in and where you can’t try to make your dreams come true which is one of the most common experiences you’ll ever find because all of us have been there makes it so that if it was cathartic for him then it’s also cathartic for the listener

that can work also for the other core themes - your relationship with your parents, relationship troubles, wanting to just get on a car and drive into the night and fuck everything, wanting something that makes you happy etc, it’s all just so well-punt in relatable terms that it just gets to you (I mean if you watch blinded by the light it makes it exceedingly clear, because that is why the pakistani kid living near london actually feels connected to bruce who’s an american dude from a blue collar family in nj) that you can’t help just feeling like he gets you

which is also a general thing because one of my Fixed Bruce Experiences is that yes it feels like he’s saying those things to me specifically even if I know he’s not objectively, and like... feeling like your favorite singer sees you and understands you and at the same time gives you an all new perspective on things you didn’t know is just... An Experience

with that I mean that before I listened to springsteen I didn’t know shit about a lot of things - for one I got sucked into reading about the vietnam war because of born in the usa, I read the grapes of wrath which is now top five novels for me because of the ghost of tom joad, I started reading dale maharidge’s books because of youngstown, I started reading up about racism/police brutality in the us because of american skin because when he was singing about his country in the way you do when you love your country and you criticize the shit out of it because you do (which is a thing I 100% relate to ie I love my country but I also could criticize the shit out of it for years because I do) then you wanted to learn more about it and it broadened my knowledge on a lot of things/got me interested in so many subjects (count that I’ve been into bruce since I was like twelve so it’s been almost twenty years now) and I’ll be thankful for that forever because being interested in those things at the moments it happened was... formative in a lot of ways and honestly I don’t wanna say that listening to springsteen made me realize idealizing things was Not A Good Idea but it was... part of it

I didn’t understand that specifically until I read his autobiography where he was blatantly open about how he struggled with mental health issues and how he channeled his coping into writing music knowing it was what he was good at, but in retrospective the fact that he did put those issues in music even if I didn’t know they were there is probably another reason why he was relatable (we don’t have the same issues but I could relate on... a lot of things he said tbh) and honestly I respect him madly for having had the guts to go out all in the open with it

I love how he can write about like anything from his parents to class struggles to everything in nebraska to psychological consequences to wars in the people who fight them to actually nice feelgood songs to actual realistic love songs and he never sounds like he’s doing that without knowing what he’s doing... because he actually does

in retrospective he put into music one of my favorite pieces of literature ever so thanks bruce for that (I mean I listened to ghost of tom joad before reading grapes of wrath but tom’s speech is still... a piece of literature that kills me on a molecular level)

about the realistic love songs thing... I generally am never going to get over how he’s one of the few people around whose love songs don’t sound like generic ballad thing but they’re all... actually very down to earth and realistic and they don’t exactly try to tell you that Love Is Perfect And Amazing And Flawless? idk how to explain it but like... thunder road is about two fucked up people one of which isn’t even attractive trying to get a better life and sort of same for born to run which isn’t even a love song per se, rosalita is fun but you know from the get-go that the guy doesn’t have money to his name, there’s literally no song in springsteen catalogue that doesn’t tell you that Being In Love is easy and you don’t have to put work into it, and the only 100% happy ones are the ones just after he married the woman of his life and anyway they’re still more sincere than 90% of the stereotypical love songs around and I just... really respect that? because while i’ll like my sappy love song ™️ if it’s good, his just... are a whole other level

(this would require another rant on why tunnel of love is my subjectively favorite record of his because of how he cracks open and turns over the subject without sparing any ugliness from it nor all the issues he was having in his marriage and how listening to it you would know that marriage wasn’t going to last and he still went and put it on record for everyone to hear and... as stated I really just have endless respect for people who can do that with their experiences while making them universally relatable)

he’s seventy and he’s still putting all of himself into it? like in the last twenty years (ie since I’ve followed him) he did the folk songs record, some seven world tours where he played 3+ hours, the broadway show where he also opened up same as he did in the book about his songs and himself and it was just beautiful, the western stars movie along with WS being a concept album in itself and a damn good one, all his records have tried something new for him regardless of how good it came out or not and he’s still going strong and I just really admire how he can still do all of that while not having sold out to anyone and having stayed true to what his music was in the beginning

also: 3+ hours long shows. like guys if you haven’t been to a bruce concert... idk how to put it but when I say that going to a bruce concert is the closest I’ll ever get to a religious experience I’m not exaggerating. I really truly absolutely know I’ll never get standard religious experiences but I suppose that’s how bruce concerts are for me - it’s just, you’re there with 40k+ other people all of which are feeling like he’s singing straight to them because that’s how good he is and even if maybe song 1 means something to you and something else to the guy next to you you’ll still be there with your heart having grown four sizes anyway for different reasons because Bruce Is Speaking To You and it’s just... something else. like I know people who were meh about bruce who went to a concert and came out of it OH I SAW THE LIGHT CAN YOU LEND ME YOUR RECORDS and that’s exactly how it is

tldr: bruce is an amazing performer and lyricist and musician who is straight-up honest and true to his love for his own music who’ll manage to make everything relatable and who’ll sing like he’s talking to you specifically and again, when I watched blinded by the light it got it perfectly and reading the book it was based on was A Trip because here I was nodding along to an autobiography from a british guy originally from pakistan and his sikh friend also from britain who spoke about bruce and what he meant to them and they said the exact same things I felt about bruce - like the guy is that good that he can connect to virtually everyone and will make you feel like you have some kind of thing in common with people that are wholly different from you because bruce speaks to you both and that’s... not an easy thing to run into. like, you have to be real good to manage that. and... he is. he just is.

#bruce springsteen #this is a rant that makes no sense probably? #idk #i tried #Anonymous #ask post

[malethirsty]

My Nightingale/My Fae: Desi Harperin

My Nightingale 

Summary: You always had a star brimming inside you, but also a potion of self doubt, never a good mix. It would take a very special man to extract the poison, and bring your light back.

Warnings: M/M smut (21+), Bareback (Wrap Before You Tap!)

Inspired by: Butterflies- https://youtu.be/y3l-ovZQY4M & Coming Home- https://youtu.be/J8XDaNrPS_Y

Social Anxiety mixed with self doubt about your abilities served up a cunt of a cocktail. You’d sung for a long time, but never really found the strength to find your own ground out in public, so you seeked privacy out in a Broadway dressing room where no one could see or hear you, chucking on shuffle and sang to your heart’s content. This was no way to perform, but what other choice did you have? Do X Factor or Idol and fucking embarrass yourself in front of the world, be a laughing stock and be pelted with death threats like how people threw rotten shit in the stocks? You’d rather stay in anonymity.

So this tradition continued for many years, this afternoon seeming a normal one as per usual. You’d snuck into the dressing room during your lunch break, and found a nice acoustic track to sing along to. You made sure no one was outside before drawing a deep breath and began to sing:

I was just coastin', never really goin' anywhere

Caught up in a web, I was gettin' kinda used to stayin' there

And out of the blue, I fell for you

Now, you're lifting me up 'stead of holding me down

Stealing my heart 'stead of stealing my crown

Untangled all the strings 'round my wings that were tied

I didn't know him and I didn't know me

Cloud Nine was always out of reach, Now, I remember what it feels like to fly

You give me butterflies

The song hit a nerve with you, you wished you could find that level of protection that Kacey could, but with your anxiety, you didn’t know how, unaware that it was about to fall into your sight “That was beautiful.” Came a voice from the corner. You yelled out in fright, properly surveying the room which you’d thought to be empty, but on closer inspection it was not, a male figure had appeared near the door of the bathroom, he was tall, had a mattering of brown hair and a thin beard covering his face, he looked like he had stepped out of a theater production of Country Strong. “Who are you? This room is reserved!” You balked, thinking someone else had been loitering “Yeah, it’s mine for Major Barbra.” The man said and your heart sank right down, someone had heard you, someone big “Well let me have it, it was like nails on a chalkboard right?” The man tilted his head, a look of confusion on his face “What are you talking about? Did you not hear yourself?”

You started to crumble in front of this man, which didn’t seem right to do, you’d only met him a few seconds ago and didn’t even know his name “All the time, which includes my self doubt, it makes me question myself and pushes it away to a small room like this, making scared to go out and sing to wider people.” The man crossed over to you and wiped the tear tracks off your face “I’m Desi, what’s your name?” “Y/N” “Well Y/N, you have to stop doubting yourself, it holds everyone back and has no contribution to life. Where did you get this idea?” “It’s gonna sound stupid, but watching stuff like X Factor and Idol.” You told Desi who gaffored “You do know they are cooperate machines set up by the companies who love to see people fail right?” You looked at Desi with a piercing look in your eyes “I know that now, back then I didn’t but that amount of time was all it took to let me get the best of myself.”

Desi sat down at his table turning his chair around to face you and indicated he wanted you to do the same, which you did with some trepidation. “Y/N, you need to stop that bullshit negativity and I’m gonna help you, I’m no guru on positive vibes and shit but” he reached under the table and pulled out a guitar case “I do sing as well.” He opened the case and removed his guitar, moving his chair a bit to the right he was able to hold it correctly. As he tuned it, you in a way were safe, not only did this man seem nice, but he also sang, which means he must know what works and what doesn’t. “So I’ll pick a song out at random, and you can sing it with me and remember sing Y/N, express it loudly, like I’m the only person here, I won’t judge, I only want to hear you.” Desi grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced down the list “Here, know this?” He showed you the song he had chosen ‘Coming Home’ “Yeah I do.” You said and Desi fixed the chords on his guitar to fit the song “Remember, I start first verse and chorus, you do the second verse and chorus and then we combine for the last part.” You nodded, a warm emotion washing over as you agreed with Desi. Clearing his throat, Desi strummed his guitar before beginning to sing

It's a four letter word

A place you go to heal your hurt

It's an alter, it's a shelter

One place you're always welcome

A pink flamingo, double wide

One bedroom in a high rise

A mansion on a hill

Where the memories always will

Keep you company

Whenever you're alone

After all of my running

I'm finally coming

Home

The world tried to break me

I found a road to take me

Home

There ain't nothing but a blue sky now

After all of my running

I'm finally coming

Home

He had a crisp voice you thought, one perfect for acoustic guitar and folk music. And his voice sounded so beautiful, a tear began to form as you saw how beautiful he looked as he performed. You realized it was your part and Desi looked at you, love and care in his eyes, suddenly calm, you began your part

Well they say its where the heart is

And I guess the hardest part is

When your heart is broken

And you're lost out in the great wide open

Looking for a map

Finding your way back

To where you belong

Well that's where I belong

Home

The world tried to break me

I found a road to take me

Home

There ain't nothing but a blue sky now

After all of my running

I'm finally coming

Home

“Yes!” Desi said as you finished your part, making you laugh, to compensate he added more chords and counted you in softly but loud enough so you could hear as you both began in harmony.

Home...

Home...

Home

The world tried to break me

I found a road to take me

Home

There ain't nothing but a blue sky now

After all of my running

I'm finally coming

After all of my running

I'm finally coming

Home

Desi finished the final notes of the song, and you sat there with a smile on your face as you watched him finish. “See? Did you hear how beautiful we sounded?” You nodded “Yeah, I guess we sound pretty good together.” “A huh.” Desi said, arms outstretched “Bring it in Y/N, you look like you need it.” You wrapped Desi tightly up “Perfect, you were perfect, you hear me, voice of a nightingale, so beautiful.” You smiled into his shoulder, somehow your broken heart was slowly starting to mend, piece by piece reforming as you kept yourself near Desi. Eventually you moved away, getting a glance of your mentors pretty face & that was when you both moved in, capturing each other in a deep kiss.

Desi tasted like molten gold mixed with honey, a very rich taste of luxury that you craved more of. You parted your lips so that you could tangle your tongue with Desi’s, his taste seeping into your mouth. You stayed like this for a while, breathing each other in before Desi pulled away “I need you.” Were the only words he said. You started to disrobe him, pulling his shirt off while he attended to your clothing, each of you drinking in the sight of each other. Finally you both stood naked in front of each other, Desi looking like a picture of beauty that life artists would cry if they ever saw his beautiful form. You slowly sunk your knees and began to suck his dick. “Oh” Desi moaned “Oh yes! That’s it Y/N, suck it.” He reached down and guided your head so you were able to get to his most sensitive veins, you were able to move your tongue over his head, eliciting moans from the man.

As he ran his hands down your back, you got an idea, pulling off his cock, you went to suck his balls, Desi threw his head back, moans falling from his lips so blissfully. You worked over them, inhaling their musk, collecting the sweat that clung to them, most of all stimulating Desi as he slowly melted into a puddle of praises. Finally you pulled off, a despairing groan coming from Desi that you stopped with a kiss “Fuck me Desi, take me right here in your dressing room.” You swung up, hooking your legs around Desi’s as he walked to his table and deposited you on it before climbing on top of it himself “God, I want you so badly.” “Take me then.” You groaned as you stretched your legs open for him, not wasting anymore time Desi thrust his cock into your ass, groans falling from his mouth as your walls clamped down around him, like a velvet encasement.

Desi bucked into you smoothly, taking the time to savor you, like this moment would pass quickly and he was holding onto it as desperately as he could. As you raked your hands over Desi’s torso and entangled them in his chest hair, you wondered if when the first people in the world had sex that it was this liberating, this freeing. Groans and moans were the only sounds you emitted as Desi continued to fuck you “More” you moaned needily, and Desi increased the pace starting to nip down your neck leaving hickeys every other spot. You widened your legs so Desi could sink further down, his balls slapping against your ass as his pace increased “Oh fuck yes!” You groaned as he fucked you harder “Cry out for me nightingale! Y/N cry out your pleasure, your bliss, all from how good you are. Tell me you’re good.” “I’m good” you breathed out “Louder!” Desi raised his voice “I’m Good!” You got out louder as he hit your sweet spot very strongly, sending a ripple of ecstasy rushing through you.

He lifted you up, positioning you so you could gaze at everything in the mirror. It was quite a sight, you flushed out, hair a mess as messy as Desi’s, a look of need in your face, Desi similarly looking, like you were the complimenting images of each other. “I want you to gaze at your beautiful body in this mirror as I have sex with you, and I want you to reach deep inside your heart and say you’re good, do that for me, let it fall from your mouth naturally.” You gazed at the picturesque sight and with your heartstrings playing aloud, you screamed out “I’M GOOD! I’M GODDAMN AMAZING!” Desi pulled you up to him and kissed you deep “Yes you are Y/N. So damn stunning, so fucking beautiful.” He settled you back to the table and continued his intense pace, both of you knowing the end was fast approaching.

“Y/N, I’m gonna!” Desi cried out in a wanting tone. “Do it Desi!” You cried out wanting him to explode inside you, but he shook his head “Not before you do.” He grabbed your cock and began to stroke longingly, needing you to find your orgasmic explosion before he did. You tipped over the edge of bliss, shooting your load all over, some of it landing on both of your faces and the rest ending up on both you & Desi’s torsos. “Oh God, your walls are clenching around me Y/N, my nightingale, I’m almost there, yes! YES! FUCK! OH YES!” His cries so blissed out, so loving as he shot his warm sticky load in your ass, your walls now housing a white river of cum.

“Clench” Desi instructed and you obeyed as he pulled out, careful not to spill anything as he dropped down next to you, breathing deeply. “That- was amazing” he said having to suck in a deeper breath after the first word he spoke after he fucked you to some type of fae land it seemed. He definitely looked like one, all blissed out and sweaty, breathing deep and steady as he regained himself “Do you have your phone?” He asked “Yeah.” You responded, moving to grab your pant pocket, similar movements going around Desi’s end of the room. You eventually recovered it as you turned back around, Desi having his phone out “Trade?” He asked, holding his phone out “I want to get to do this again, the singing, the fucking, all of it.” You smiled, the first time something akin to had crossed your face in years as you took his mobile and placed your contact details, Desi doing the same. He handed you back your phone and you pocketed it as you started to redress, eventually you got your last item on before turning to see Desi all dressed and fancy again. “Well, I have to get back to work, I’ll see you soon.” You said, kissing Desi again “Of course, my beautiful nightingale.” He replied, letting another smile cross your face, you left, a spring in your step as you walked, a spring you never wanted to leave.

#Desi Harperin #Male Reader #Desi Harperin x Male Reader #Desi Harperin Smut #Girls #GirlsHBO #Girls Smut #GirlsHBO Smut #My Nightingale/My Fae

[scouts-mockingbird]

Shine a Light

Intro,Beautiful, Candy Store, Fight For Me, Freeze Your Brain, Big Fun Part One, Big Fun Part Two, Dead Girl Walking Part One, Dead Girl Walking Part Two, Dead Girl Walking Part Three, The Me Inside of Me Part One, The Me Inside of Me Part Two, Blue Part One, Blue Part Two, Blue (Reprise), Our Love is God, Dead Gay Son, Seventeen

God I fucking hate this song. It has…. So many things that I hate, all rolled into one little hateful ball that got chewed to a pulp, spread around and dried out so Kevin and Larry could write a song on it.  

So yeah, I really, really dislike this song. Honestly, I hate it so much that part of me is saying “They don’t even need a song here! Get rid of it!” but I’m going to push past that and offer one suggestion that keeps the framework that the current musical offers. 

So, part of the reason I hate this song is the whole “Desperate teacher/counselor is horrible and out of touch and actually just wants to talk about their problems and not be helpful”... thing it has going on. That’s shitty and bad so I want to change it. 

Much like Blue, this song isn’t funny, but I swear Kevin and Larry think that it is? I have no idea. The layers of why it’s not funny just go on and on. Divorced women are miserable? Bad. All adults whose job it is to help children suck at their job and won’t help you? Yep. Adults having sex is weird and gross and embarrassing? That’s in there. Older women who aren’t married and have cats and must be miserable? Of course. Oh Kevin and Larry, thank you for making it so abundantly clear that you don’t just hate teenaged girls; you hate all women. Your poor wives. 

Anyway, as always, the positives. Like DGS, having JD dance in this scene makes me laugh. It’s not a great character decision but it’s funny. Um… it’s…. Loud? That’s good I guess? People in the audience can definitely hear this song? Oh! Roles for older women! Very good, not as common on broadway as it should be.  

Okay, yeah this song is bad. I think even fans of the musical skip this song. 

So let’s make it a song folks won’t skip, shall we? 

My proposal is (surprisingly) to keep this song in Ms. Flemming’s hands. I think it’s a bit interesting, and I think it COULD work as a contrast to JD, who has (in my version) been set up as wanting to change the world they’re living in. Give Ms. Flemming and some of the other students a way of stating their way of making change. 

My idea for this song is a shout out back to the movie, except it kind of combines the JD shoots the TV scene and the cafeteria scene. It’s called “Teenage Suicide: Don’t Do It” 

In my fixing Big Fun post, I described a line where students talk about listening to the Big Fun song from the movie. Later on, it occurred to me that it’s fucking ridiculous it is that, when writing the musical, they didn’t include the ONE SONG that was in the movie. Jesus these fucking amateurs. 

The song features Ms. Flemming awkwardly rewriting the verses of everybody’s favorite songs, during which she inadvertently frames suicide as this popular thing everyone is doing, defeating her point. She tries to bring everyone together and the students reluctantly participate, holding hands and singing. 

Meanwhile, Heather Duke launches into the song, dragging Heather McNamara-- who seems distracted-- into it. She attempts to get Veronica into it, but she pulls away, still angry. Heather is, notably, wearing red. 

Heather McNamara follows the dance clumsily, looking around. At some point, the students are invited to share their feelings, and a couple do, condemning suicide and talking about why they want to keep living, Heather Duke among them. It is clear that she is now the one people are looking to. 

Martha is there, kind of vaguely dancing along, but she doesn’t say anythign, she’s just present, watching what goes down. 

Heather McNamara also gives her speech, mentioning that she is sad, that her parents are getting divorced and that she feels like her friends are all dead or leaving her. Heather Duke laughs at this, making a joke about Heather crying, which everyone joins in on before Fleming, in an attempt to regain control, starts the song back up, finishing it loudly while Heather McNamara leaves. 

This song would be a fun, synth-y pop number to bring the mood back up from some of the downer songs, but not without keeping on-theme for the show. The dark elements are there and the emotions build on themselves neatly. Underlying the comedic elements is the obvious fact that they are singing a fun pop-hit about children dying. 

The moments between Heather and Heather should be subtle, at least compared to the Kevin and Larry version. Heather M seems distressed, but Heather Duke is performing for the cameras,  getting a solo verse about how hard it is on your friends if you kill yourself. 

Eventually, one of the camera people turns their microphone to Heather M, who has had enough, she admits that she’s been thinking about killing herself because of what Heather, kurt, and ram did, as well as a number of other things that have been happening in her personal life. (I’m going to talk about Lifeboat and give some options for that in the next post.)

There is a long moment of silence where everyone just stares at her. Fleming steps forward, offers some lame comfort that amounts to “No, don’t kill urself life is rad!” This obviously does nothing and Heather flees. 

JD: “See, Veronica? The adults are useless. Did you think her way would work?” 

Ignoring him, Veronica follows Heather M out and after a long moment of everyone staring at each other awkwardly, Fleming and Duke join forces to finish out the song. It’s flat and lame.

#Heathers #Heathers the Musical #Scout Fixes Heathers the Musical #Heather McNamara #Heather Duke #Jason Dean #Veronica Sawer

[dont-let-me-stop-you]

Singing superstar, American Idol breakout and The Voice coach Kelly Clarkson gets her own talk show. And, boy, does she have a lot to say!

Clarkson is still shocked that NBC crowned her the host of her very own daytime talk show. “When it was brought up to me, I was like, ‘What? No one’s going to watch!’” she says, with a self-deprecating laugh. It’s exactly that everyday charm that makes Clarkson so relatable—and so perfect as the host of The Kelly Clarkson Show (premiering Monday, September 9, at 2 p.m. ET on NBC). She calls the opportunity “a dream I never had but didn’t know I loved—and wanted!”

Clarkson, of course, is no stranger to television. The Grammy-winning songstress got her break in 2002 at the age of 20, after winning the inaugural season of American Idol. She went on to serve as a mentor on ABC’s singing competition Duets and as a bubbly coach on NBC’s The Voice, where she’ll return alongside Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and John Legend when season 17 begins September 23.

She grew up singing in church alongside her fellow parishioners in Burleson, Texas, not realizing she had a special talent until she was asked to join the junior high choir. “I was like, ‘Nerd alert!’ And then I became a nerd!” she jokes. It was then that Clarkson realized she had a versatile range and was a natural onstage. “I was oddly comfortable. Even from the first time; I never was nervous.”

Her mother, a first-grade English teacher, wasn’t exactly thrilled that her daughter turned down college to pursue a singing career. “When I said I wanted to be a singer, she was like, ‘Well, a lot of people do,’ and she was right.” But Clarkson appreciated the nudge to perfect her craft and go after her dream, which was initially to be a backup vocalist for noteworthy acts. “On Idol, I saw so many parents lie to their children, telling them they’re awesome and should pursue it when they were so off-key,” she admits. “My mom inspired me to work extra hard.”

She now thinks of early days on Idol as “the ultimate boot camp.” With the network still figuring out the show’s concept during season one, the contenders were frequently whisked from one location to another, asked to perform songs they didn’t know minutes before taking the stage, and worked through exhaustion. “I feel like I can handle anything now!” Clarkson, 37, says confidently, which will definitely come in handy for her own show, as she will be filming The Voice and The Kelly Clarkson Show simultaneously, rushing from one NBC set to another on a golf cart. “It’s going to get a little tricky, but I think we figured it out,” she says with her signature perk and optimism.

Dream Guests Clarkson has learned a few tricks from appearing on so many talk shows herself. As her own career progressed from Idol breakout to format-spanning superstar, she found herself a guest on just about all of them, talking about how she came from a little town in Texas, went on to win TV’s biggest talent show and amass dozens of awards (including three Grammys)—as well as notch more than 25 Billboard Top 100 singles, including the No. 1 pop hits “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “A Moment Like This.”

She’s a true talk-show fan who “grew up on Oprah,” she says. “My mom and I watched her every day after school.” She also appreciates the humor of Ellen DeGeneres—in fact, her new show will lead into The Ellen DeGeneres Show in the NBC afternoon lineup—and says she hopes to infuse elements of her talk-show idols into her own show format. She wants to provide a lighthearted escape from the day while tackling more serious topics.

Her dream guest is Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep. “I’m a tad bit obsessed,” she says. She’d also love to wrangle some of her musical pals, like Dolly Parton and superstar country couple Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks. But Clarkson is just as excited to sit down and chat with everyday folks doing noteworthy endeavors. She’s quick to rave about a woman who runs an organization that throws birthday parties for homeless youth, whom she had on the pilot test run of her show. “I hope we bring her back!”

But music, naturally, will always be a recurring theme. “We’re opening up every show with music and highlighting artists we love,” she says, teasing that she might even join a few of her guests onstage. She also promises a mix of serious and heartwarming moments, hilarious skits and interesting guests across the board. And expect “anything and everything to happen,” whether she’s prepared for it or not.

“The thing I’ve learned from people like Jimmy [Fallon], Seth [Meyers] and Ellen is don’t plan too much because life takes hold of the show and things start happening,” she says. So Clarkson is ready to go with whatever pops up, a skill she demonstrated when hosting the 2019 Billboard Music Awards several months ago while battling appendicitis and requiring emergency surgery hours after exiting the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

The multifaceted star, who’s had hits on the pop, dance and country charts, admits she had somewhat of a déjà vu moment weeks later when she had an ovarian cyst burst seconds before going live on The Voice. “I grabbed Blake’s arm, Carson [Daly] said, ‘We’re live,’ and I thought, Oh Lord, here we go!” she recalls. Clarkson battled on and wound up back in the ER, joking that she felt horrible for making the paramedic attending to her so nervous that he had to poke her three times to find her vein for the IV.

The only thing that scares her, she says, is potentially not knowing the backstory of all of her guests ahead of time. “There’s no way I could possibly know everyone,” she says, candidly. But she’s surrounded herself with a team to keep her prepped, a lesson she learned from country superstar Reba McEntire, who she’s looked to as a mentor throughout her career (and who is her husband’s former stepmother). “She told me once, ‘You’re caring too much about too many things. You have to have people in the right spots,’” says Clarkson, who deemed the advice life-changing.

Clarkson is mostly unfiltered, which she likes to think is a positive trait. “Sometimes my husband doesn’t agree,” she jokes—and she does her best to make everyone feel comfortable on her set.

Family Affair Speaking of her husband, you won’t see Brandon Blackstock, 42, on the show—if he has anything to do with it. Clarkson admits her attempts to drag him out during the practice rounds were futile. “But I’ll probably force it somehow!” she says.

They’ve been married for almost six years. They met in 2006 when Clarkson performed on an Academy of Country Music Awards telecast and reconnected six years later at Super Bowl XLVI after Clarkson’s then-manager, Narvel Blackstock (McEntire’s ex-husband and Blackstock’s father), reintroduced them. “I found out he was single and I was like, ‘Yes, please!’” she says, recalling that he ticked all the boxes—including that he had career in the industry, meaning that he would understand her life in the limelight. The duo later learned they were, coincidentally, raised in the same small town, which further cemented their bond.

Today, Blackstock manages her, and Clarkson deems him her ultimate teammate. “We both love what we do, but we’re really good about checking out whenever we make it home from work,” she says. They spend time together every night after putting their kids to bed. “Sometimes we’ll go out or we’ll just listen to music,” she says, noting she’s “the bold one” and will often initiate a slow dance. “I’ll ask and he’s like, ‘OK!’ He’s probably just trying to get lucky!”

When she’s not at work, Clarkson prefers the quiet life and quality family time with their kids, River, 5, and Remington, 3, and Blackstock’s two children from his previous marriage, Savannah, 17, and Seth, 12, at their homes in Los Angeles and the Nashville area. “We go bowling, putt-putt, have movie nights, color together, ride little bikes in the backyard,” she says. In her physically demanding line of work, it’s also important to prioritize her health by planning quieter times, whether that’s harvesting honey from her backyard beehives or cooking with eggs from her hens. And she credits her typical happy-go-lucky persona to decades of hard work.

“I used to suffer from depression and I could easily slip back into that if I weren’t steadily paying attention to time management. With all the things that I do, I definitely need time for me,” she says. One of her favorite self-care practices includes keeping a gratitude journal. She is a sucker for a good self-help book and a big believer in surrounding herself with positive people. “Once I started weeding out [negative] people, it made a huge difference,” she says.

Another must is constantly trying new things. “I like being all over the map. I get really bored with monotony and I can’t stand to do the same thing,” she says. Clarkson enjoyed voicing the character Moxy in the animated movie UglyDolls early this year. “It was a fun challenge to hop into the [recording] booth,” she says.

Beyond her new TV series, she has her sights set on Broadway. She admits that between her current work and raising kids, it would be hard to pull off logistically. But she’s hoping to sneak in an upcoming NBC Live performance. “I want them to do White Christmas and I want to be Rosemary Clooney!” she says.

She acknowledges that she has enough on her plate for the time being, juggling multiple jobs, family and kids of all ages and stages. While her toddlers are in what she describes as a “cute stage,” which involves them adorably singing along to her vast array of tunes, her 17-year-old stepdaughter’s musical choices sometimes lead her into some interesting new parenting terrain.

“I’ll be in the car with her and I’m like, ‘What are we listening to? Do not let your father hear this,’” she says, with a laugh. “She’s a good kid, but if those hardcore lyrics ever lead to action, then stepmom is gonna take it away!” she playfully threatens.

Clarkson believes she’ll be able to handle whatever comes her way—on the new show or off. “I’m into a lot of stuff that maybe normal 37-year-olds don’t know about because of teenagers,” she says. “But then I am super into Disney because of our toddlers. I’m also a working woman and I own a business.” On The Kelly Clarkson Show, her goal will be to connect with her guests while letting her natural personality shine.

“I’m not going to try too hard to be anything. I feel like they gave me a show because they like me,” she says. “So I’m just going to lean into KC and hope it works out!”

#kelly clarkson #kelly #clarkson #interview #parade #parade magazine #2019 #the kelly clarkson show

[riotkissed-archive]

@antolcgias​   sent   :    🎭 hadestown.

goooooooooooooooooooooodddddddd ,   would you ever   die   for a musical ?      because   i would   d i e   for this one . . .     okay ,   so basically ,    this is a folk/blues musical about the myth of orpheus and eurydice .     it was originally an    iconic   folk album by the incomparable   anais mitchell.     that album got me through a    serious   depressive phase in college ,    let me tell you. 

the setting was   originally   kind of like . . .      a steampunk great depression vibe ?     it made its off-broadway debut at new york theater workshop . . .     AND LET ME TELL YOU   –––    THAT IS THE BETTER VERSION   !!      but before i rampage about that ,   let’s tell you what we’re workin’ with here. 

ORPHEUS   :   a songwriter  /   poet.   in the original version ,    he’s played by damon daunno    (   my   KING . . .     i’m a full ass lesbian and i would fuck that man.     he recently starred and was nominated for the recent oklahoma! revival and he is   very ugly hot .   )     damon’s orpheus is kind of a fuck boy.    on broadway ,   he was replaced by reeve carney.    reeve’s a rat.    his orpheus is   “ more likeable , ”    which is apparently a euphemism for awkward and naive. 

EURYDICE   :    a hungry young girl.    god ,    god ,    G O D    ––    the way i would die for her !!!    she’s been alone ,   poor   and out of luck her whole life until she meets this fuck boy orpheus and it’s    literally    one of those pinterest quotes that are like   ‘ i had nothing to lose but oh   ––    then i found   you . ’   type romances.     played by nabiyah be off broadway.    played by eva noblezada on broadway.    i personally prefer nabiyah because i think her portrayal allowed for more nuance and also i think the parallels between persephone and eurydice are important so she should   also   be black.    but eva is cute and very talented.    YOU CAN SEE BOTH NABIYAH AND DAMON HERE. 

PERSEPHONE   :    my drunk queen.    middle aged woman in a spoiled marriage ,   has grown tired of the underworld and forgotten why she loves her husband.    played by amber gray ,    queen of my life. 

HADES   :    so the underworld is kind of like  ? ? ?     aesthetically ,   a manufacturing company ,   and all souls in the underworld work for him just to have shelter ,   but slave labor.    he keeps the underworld very hot and bright because he thinks it will remind persephone of spring.    accidentally had a lot of trump parallels back in 2016 no one saw coming ,   but more redeemable.    played by patrick page ,   abuelito of my heart. 

okay this is already too long but basically during the winter orpheus is too damn busy working on his music to help eurydice prepare for the cold and she’s desperate.    persephone and hades are fighting ,   so hades goes to find a side chick to piss her off.    he offers eurydice a ticket to the underworld and she’s so desperate for security she takes it.   (   yes cue me screaming forever about how in this version eurydice kills herself because she’s so desperate for peace and the implications of class struggle that has don’t TOUCH me.   )

MOST ICONIC SONGS:     way down hadestown .     chant ( i & ii ),    wait for me ,    epic iii   ( this one is all about the lyrics.   )   and basically the whole rest of the album. 

QUICK POINTS ABOUT WHY HADESTOWN OFF BROADWAY WAS BETTER & THEN I’LL SHUT UP UNTIL I HAVE ANOTHER HADESTOWN MELTDOWN.

the way they changed orpheus’ character was bad.   first of all ,   they stripped our hero of his hubris by making him awkward and naive.    and as we all know ,   greek mythology and hubris are besties.     also   ( they toned it down )   but at the beginning of the run ,   there was genuine confusing over whether orpheus on bway was supposed to be on the spectrum  ( he’s referred to as touched and god touched and couldn’t go more than two seconds without a quirk or stuttering.  they cut some of that now. )   and that would be fine ,   and i know people write fic about the representation they feel in that except . . .    his naivety is his downfall,   and i don’t know if i like those implications.

they cut down persephone and eurydice’s characters in order to flesh out orpheus.    huge mistake because the charm of this portrayal was giving an orpheus story and not allowing eurydice to have a character outside of being in love with him. 

they dumbed down the lyrics   considerably .      this is one songs transformation from off-broadway    to    broadway.    and i get why they felt they had to do that for a wider touristy audience.    but it’s laughable. 

they made it too political on broadway.    it was accidentally political in 2016 when hades sang a song about building a wall write after trump started campaigning for it.    the direct parallels on broadway make it hard to root for hades which sucks because he’s such a great character.    also   ––    in broadway they make orpheus ,    the young white man ,    try to lead a revolution for liberation of   everyone   in the underworld who are mostly poc . . .   and then he fails but its somehow uplifting ???     but they do do cool thing like reference global warming and add more mythological stuff in the staging.

okay i’m done.    if you want to watch the bway boot with me or read the off bway script with me while listen to an audio bootleg of the old version with me . . .    i’m always down. 

#* ( FILED ) ･ﾟ ANSWERED. #* ( FILED ) ･ﾟ OUT OF CHARACTER #antolcgias #you brought this upon yourself this is my favorite topic.

[fantasticescapism]

Brothers in Everything but Blood - Chapter 2: Meeting Spider-man

Click here for Chapter 1.

Part 4 of the Never Truly Gone series

Also available at AO3.

Harley’s one time visit turned into an overnight, twice a month thing at Tony’s workshop ever since he met Peter. No complaints there; that only meant more time to play with awesome tech and work on the ASM with him. He liked Peter Parker. It's like having a younger, better behaved brother, unlike his sister and her celebrity obsessions.

Although, Harley had a feeling there’s more to him than a genius fellow intern. At first, he thought it was just the often expected jealousy he should feel when he had to share Tony’s time and attention but, he didn’t feel jealous at all. He’s already an older brother to an excitable little sister so, sharing wasn’t a big deal. In fact lately, he’d been feeling a little protective over his new friend in light of the recent things he observed.

There were times when Peter came in with bruises and Harley’s first reaction was anger. His memories of years being bullied at school - along with the fights he had with her sister’s bullies - were pushed to the forefront of his mind. He confronted Peter about it once but the guy’s adamant the bruises were just him being hopelessly clumsy. Harley doubted it though, the steady way Peter handled the dangerous chemicals at the workshop proved otherwise. No, those bruises were from bullies, or maybe New York’s really as dangerous as most folks back home would say.

Harley asked Tony about it once when it was just the two of them - Peter said he would be late - and all he said was, “He’s just clumsy.” Tony sucks at lying. They’ve known each other for years, he should know he couldn’t lie to Harley.

“Right, and I’m more of a saint than Mother Teresa.” Harley raised an eyebrow at his mentor.

“Kid,” Tony sighed before he faced him, “it’s Peter’s business.”

“You’re not the type that would leave things like this alone, especially if it involves someone you personally know.” He narrowed his eyes.

“I know.” A hesitant pause. “Okay, Peter does have a bully-”

“His school’s in Midtown, right?”

“Whoa, wait.” Tony placed his arm around his shoulders. “Are you really going to his school, potato boy?”

“That reminds me. I can test out my new potato gun.”

“New?!” Tony’s incredulous.

“It’s Mark 10.”

“Harley, you- you have to let Peter handle it.”

“I just,” he huffed, “just really hate bullies.”

“I know.” Tony smiled fondly at him. He seemed to be mulling over something before he spoke again. “Alright, those bruises aren’t from this bully. The dickwad never resort to physical harm so, it’s something else.”

“At home?” He scowled.

“Oh no! Aunt Hottie is scary when mad but he loves Peter with her whole life.”

“Okay then.” He’s still determined to find out what’s going on and it looked like Tony’s aware of that.

“It’s not my story to tell but, maybe in time, you’ll figure it out.” Tony’s eyes sparkled like those times he gave him puzzles, confident that he could solve them. Challenge accepted!

---

Peter came in later with a busted lip and a sheepish smile. Tony saw him first and he definitely didn’t like what he saw.

“Kid, what the hell?!” Tony blurted out.

“Sorry, sorry. I know I’m late. It won’t ha-”

“That’s not what he meant, dude! What happened to you?” Harley pointed at his friend’s face. Who the hell did that to him?!

“Oh, uuh… I-I bumped into a street lamp.” Peter blushed.

“Really now?” If Tony’s raised eyebrows could reach his hairline, it would.

“Y-yeah.” Peter let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I’m okay! Just didn’t pay attention.”

“If you say so, here.” Harley sighed and retrieved an ice pack from their mini-fridge and tossed it towards the guy. Harley swore Peter didn’t look at the tossed ice pack. He was about to apologize but Peter effortlessly caught it. It was impressive… and suspicious. “Whoa! Got a sixth sense or somethin’?”

“Just luck! Lucky.” Peter nervously chuckled then gave him a tight-lipped smile. At the corner of his eye, he saw Tony facepalm.

“You got luck in opposite extremes, dude.” Harley laughed when suddenly, he received a notification on his phone. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he absent-mindedly saw Tony walk towards Peter as they conversed in whispers. It was a Twitter notification. His sister often tagged him in memes.

@harhar spidey’s at it again! lmao! you met him yet?

It was a tweet from The Daily Bugle but the source wasn’t important. The picture attached was glorious! it's like the dark clouds parted, a ray of sun bathed him with light and a choir of angels sang Allelujah!

Huh.

Harley grinned like the devil. This would be fun.

---

Harley loved the comfortable silence in the workshop once all three started working. They worked together like a well-oiled machine; not much words needed, just looks and signals. This time though, Harley decided to disrupt the flow a bit.

“So Tony, when are you going to introduce me to Spider-man?” Harley almost snorted when he saw Peter freeze in the corner of his eye. Harley feigned ignorance, of course.

“That depends if he’s free. Why the sudden interest?” Harley looked up and saw Tony’s genuine question.

“Well, my little sister Faith - you remember, wanna be an actress, obnoxious - she’s a huge fan. Like real huge. She even got this life-size cut-out of Spider-man and lugged it around at a party back home.” He desperately reined in his amusement when he saw Peter’s red-as-a-tomato face.

“Really?” Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

“Yeah, here.” He pulled out the photo he took of Faith hugging her Spider-man cut-out from his phone and showed it to Tony. “See?”

“Huh.” Tony smirked. Harley then turned the phone to let Peter see too and he wasn’t disappointed at his reaction.

“Where-where did she-where did she get that?” Peter crossed his arms.

“She’s part of this fan club; said she won it at a raffle.” With wide eyes, Peter looked at Tony at the mention of a fan club. “That’s the internet for you. They have fandoms for pretty much anythin’. Did you guys know there are Spider-man fanfiction stories? She told me all about it.” He gave Tony a slight smirk and at that moment, he knew Tony knows he knew. He watched as Tony’s eyes sparkled with mischief for a second before he played along.

“Is that so? Is it as huge as mine’s.”

“Nah, Spidey's new so there's not that many, yet.” Harley saw Peter desperately trying to get back to work and feign nonchalance but his fidgety fingers won’t let him. “I scanned some of them. There’s action, angst, comedy and then, there’s a lot - and I mean a lot - of smut.”

“W-w-what?!” Oh, Peter. Harley’s delighted though.

“Yeah. One time, when I was really concerned, had to make sure Faith's internet searches are PG so I checked out some of the stories. Faith’s only eleven, by the way.”

“Yeah.” Tony said..

“Yeah, so I stumbled into one story about a risqué night between Spidey and this mugging victim he rescued. He was invited to the victim’s house as a thank you. Then he was offered coffee before they both went in the bedroom where they-”

“Mr. Stark," Peter jumped, "I-I-I have to make a call! Have to tell May I’ll be late. She’ll be mad if I don’t, ya know?”

“You can just use FRIDAY, kid.”

“No, it’s cool, cool, cool, cool. I’ll just-I’ll just step out of the workshop for a bit. Be right back.” Peter almost ran out of the workshop; his face in danger of being permanently red. As soon as the door closed behind him, Tony signalled for FRIDAY to soundproof the workshop before they both laughed their asses off.

“Oh god!” Tony wiped the tears off his eyes. “You’re a little shit, Harley!”

“Can’t help it!” Harley wheezed. “Just wanna confirm my suspicions but Peter just made it so easy!”

“How did you find out?” Harley pulled out the photo from the tweet and showed it to Tony. “Oh great, that's gonna trend."

"It is trending. Got it from a Daily Bugle tweet."

"His Spidey sense - he named it - is still evolving. So…" He gestured at the Harley's phone.

"Whoa! So he does have a sixth sense!"

"Among other things. Are you gonna tell him you know?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna see how long I can keep this goin’." Harley grinned.

---

Apparently, fate decided to speed things along. It was later that day, a few hours before Harley’s supposed to fly back home to Rose Hill, when he told Tony and Peter his plan to go to the city on his own and just experience it all. Oh and, Faith asked for a Spider-man merchandise and apparently, the compound didn’t have a gift shop.

”Seriously? Not even any official Spidey merch?” He was dubious.

”He didn’t accept the Avengers position so, no.” Was that a hint of sadness from Tony? Hmm...

He was tempted to ask Peter where he could buy them but decided to give the guy a break. Instead, he asked FRIDAY and she gave him a list of all possible places, most of them were in Chinatown. So, Chinatown it was. Happy dropped him off at the corner of Broadway and Canal St. with a stern warning.

“Kid, you have an hour. If you’re not in this exact spot later, you find yourself a way to the airport.”

“Awww Happy, your Grumpy is showin’.” He grinned and he earned a glare for that cheek. In true Happy fashion, the tires of the Audi screeched as he drove to get away. Harley chuckled as he walked along Canal St.

New York never failed to fascinate Harley what with all the diverse cultures and personalities he wouldn’t see in Tennessee. There are a lot of bootleg stuff too, perfect for his non-billionaire budget so he thought he could buy a purse for his mom along with the plush Spidey toy for Faith.

It only took him around thirty minutes to buy gifts then food - he got hungry - and walk around Canal St and thought he could go and venture out to smaller streets. Ever since he told his mom about the internship visits to New York, she’d been so worried for him. Can’t blame her though, most stories that came out of New York were of aliens, kidnappings and other crimes. So, before she agreed to the arrangement, she explicitly warned him to be cautious and to not be stupid. Harley knew he was being stupid as soon as he saw three men with baseball bats and metal pipes. They seemed to surround something on the ground and as Harley walked closer, the situation became clearer.

“Just give us the money or else!”

“P-p-please, I-I-I can’t!” A boy cowered in a corner, a backpack in his arms. “It’s m-money for my mom’s m-m-medicine.”

“You think we care ‘bout that?!” The mugger laughed and mocked the boy. “Give us the fucking money or you won’t go back home to your mom!”

Damnit! Harley looked around for something he could use but all he saw was half a brick and a brown broken leg of a table. Well, better than nothin’. He picked up both. He aimed at the leader’s head and threw the brick. Bullseye!The yelp from the guy made Harley smirk.

“Muggin’ a helpless boy,” he tutted, “ya’ll so pathetic.” Harley’s southern accent always got thicker in stressful situations. The guy he threw a brick at growled and stalked towards him.

“Look guys, a country bumpkin!” The others followed suit menacingly.

“Kid,” Harley looked at the cowering boy, “get outta here!” The boy didn’t need telling twice. He stood and ran away from the scene. The muggers continued to walk closer to Harley as they brandished their weapons.

“You shoulda just walked away, southern boy.” Harley clenched his jaw, both hands on the piece of wood he found and braced himself for a fight. One of the guys raised his bat but before he could do more, a web latched on to it and was pulled out of his hands. When the guy looked up, he was webbed and pulled towards the wall where he got stuck.

“What the fuck?!” The other two looked around in fear.

“Hey, guys!” Spider-man landed beside the head mugger then swept the guys leg off the floor. As soon as the guy landed on his ass, Spidey webbed him to the floor. “I’m Spider-man. Nice to meet you!”

Whoa! Harley was amazed! It was one thing to watch Spider-man from potato quality videos and it’s another to see him fight in person. When Spidey successfully webbed up the last guy, Harley just remembered then regretted not pulling out his camera to take a video of it. Damnit! Good job, me.

“Hey, you okay?” Spider-man asked him. Harley looked at the muggers and saw they’re all knocked out. “Are you hurt?”

“No, no, no. I’m good. I’m good. Thanks, Peter. Hoo boy! That was, that was scary! New York, huh?” Harley grinned at Spidey and lightly punched him on the arm but the guy just froze and stared at him, the eyes on his mask were wide open. “What? Whoa!” Spidey suddenly carried him and swung up a building’s empty rooftop.

“Oh my god!” Harley exclaimed as soon as they landed. “That was awesome! So that’s how it felt like! Faith’s not gonna believe this!”

“How did-When did-How-What the-” Spidey seemed like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Ok, calm down. Breathe.” They both took calming breaths and let the adrenaline rush ebb away.

“Did-did Mr. Stark tell you?” Spidey asked as soon as they’re both calm.

“Nah, I figured it out.” He smirked.

“How?” Harley pulled out his phone and showed him the picture from The Daily Bugle tweet. It’s a collage of burst mode photos of Spider-man as he successfully avoided a flying drone but then he swung face first to a street lamp. “Street lamp, huh?” He grinned.

“Wait, that could’ve been just a coincidence.”

“Yeah but your reaction when I told you guys about my sister’s Spidey obsession was hilarious and a dead giveaway. That and the freaky sixth sense you have.” Spidey groaned.

“Are you telling me that-that smut story was real?!”

“Nah, I made that up.” Harley chuckled as the other huffed in relief. Then again, Harley’s a little shit. “But there are Spidey smut fanfics. Loads of them.” He cackled when Spidey groaned.

“Can’t believe this.”

“Oh please, you’re a nerd. You’re in the Star Wars fandom. You should know these things.”

“Yeah but, I’m just-just Spider-man.” He shrugged.

“Hey, you’re doing great things. You save people so of course a lot of them would love you. Just umm,” Harley side hugged Spidey, “if you don’t want to be scarred, don’t google yourself without SafeSearch on.”

“Harley!” He gasped. Harley couldn’t help but let out an evil laugh.

“Come on, that’s solid advice.”

“Oh my god!”

“Ok, seriously, what else can you do? Those webs aren’t organic, right?”

“No, I made them.”

“That explains the huge bottles of chemicals in the workshop.”

“I have umm, enhanced strength, senses, really fast healing and I stick to everything.”

“Everything? Even a sheer surface like glass?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm, interesting. Even a non-stick pan?”

“I umm… I actually don’t know. I’ll test it out later.”

“Let me know, okay?” Harley grinned.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, before I forget, do you mind if I take a selfie with you?” Someone in Tennessee’s gonna flip.

“No, it’s okay.” After they took a selfie, Harley sent it over to his sister and, as he expected, he received a Facetime request. “Oh umm. Brace your ears.” He warned before he accepted. A piercing squeal - the pigeons perched at the rooftop flew to get away from the noise - came from Harley’s phone as Faith’s image appeared.

“HARLEY!!!!!!!!”

“Hey sis, meet my friend.”

“Hi, Faith!” Spidey waved and Faith let out another squeal. Harley could feel Spidey freeze by his side.

“Jeez Faith, stop screeching! You’re hurting his ears. He’s got enhanced senses.”

“Sorry, sorry…” Faith whispered. “Oh my god, you know my name. Hi Spidey, I love you!” She used her hands to form a heart shape.

“Umm…” Harley could tell he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Faith...” Harley warned.

“Okay, okay… Sorry. It’s just, I’m a big fan! Hi!”

“Sis, you get one question then Spidey needs to go fight crime and save people, alright?”

“Okay, umm… Do you have a girlfriend?” Harley rolled his eyes. Of all the- He should’ve seen this coming.

“Umm, no. No, I don’t.” Bless his heart. He bravely answered. Faith screamed again.

“Alright, that’s enough. Bye, Faith!”

“No, wait! Wai-” Harley ended the call and sighed.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Don’t let that get in your head.”

“No, of course not!”

“Good. Oh, shit!” Harley looked at his watch. “Happy’s gonna kill me.”

“Come on, I’ll get you there faster.” Spidey, with his arm around Harley’s waist, lifted him before he jumped off the building. Harley loved the feeling of swinging. It was like being on a rollercoaster. It gave him an idea though. What if one day he could fly too?

---

Before going to bed that night, Harley grinned as he received a message from Peter. It’s a photo of a pan stuck on his hand with a message, “Yup, I can.”

#harley keener #peter parker #tony stark #spiderman #iron man #spiderson #iron dad #brotp #brotherhood #family