#I love my job I just think I'm developing arthritis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nolivingunderstarlight · 9 months

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Can't make this shit up

For full context: as someone with a degree in equine science, the horse industry is remarkably small and found in specific locations. Back in the day, I put my information in with a horse-specific staffing agency, just to see what might come of it. In 2021, they headhunted me specifically for a breeding farm manager job in Nevada. The job, on paper, was exactly what I've always dreamed of doing. The pay was good, came with on site housing and housing for our horses, and the facilities were awesome at first glance. We sold our house, packed up our lives and our three horses, and moved across the country. And for a while, it was really good. The horses were cool on the whole, the people I worked with were very nice and supportive, and I was getting to do the things I love.

Unfortunately.

The farm owner is a very rich white woman with nothing to do all day but think about her horses, plan things for her mansion, doomsday prep, and fall deep into conspiracy theories. In the last year, she's gotten significantly worse. I am not talking about political conspiracy theories either. I'm talking "there is a group of people who control the weather, and they are making the climate change in order to starve everyone" and "everything that might have come from big pharma cannot be trusted but this thing I read about on the internet from three other wackadoodles is gonna save everyone's life" and "society is going to collapse soon and the only things that will have any value are shelf-stable foods and gold bars." (I only paraphrased the first two. That third one is nearly verbatim.)

It progressed to:

Lying about vaccinating the horses so that they are protected but she has no idea

Having to defend veterinarian prescribed pain management for a horse with a broken foot because she wanted us to use "all natural" pain management that would not have been anywhere near strong enough and could have resulted in life-threatening complications

Lying about most of the times we had to use antibiotics

Lying about when horses are sick and we had to institute quarantine protocols, just so she won't try to come up with an "all natural" treatment and stop us from doing what the vet said to do

Her pulling the free choice mineral blocks in favor of free choice feeding a mineral supplement that delivers more than the daily recommended amount of selenium in each ounce (so free choice means an adult horse could eat up to 8x the recommended amount of selenium per day. Chronic selenium toxicity causes hair and hoof sloughing. Acute selenium toxicity causes neurological damage and death. And we have babies on the farm who could easily eat enough of the minerals to cause serious harm including death)

Her insisting we treat sick horses by feeding them colloidal silver and developing a protocol to give them regular colloidal silver to "prevent infections" (Colloidal silver is great at topical wound treatment but is toxic to eat, as silver is a heavy metal that the body can't process very well. It can build up and cause organ damage)

Her buying boxes of Borax for everyone to eat because she read that it can prevent rheumatoid arthritis and cancer (Please google if Borax is safe to eat so you can also be horrified that she's literally encouraging us to poison ourselves)

I was already looking to get out during the selenium and colloidal silver situations, but the Borax was very much the final straw. However, we lived on site. Our housing, and the horses' housing, was dependent on my job.

So we did the only thing we could do - we bought a house and moved ourselves and the horses there as fast as possible. I thought I might be able to stick out working there while job hunting, but boy could I not. Because I spoke out against, y'know, poisoning animals and people, I was being shut out of everything except the day to day tasks, not being able to make decisions or even being consulted about anything. Also, because I have always drawn my work-life boundaries very firmly, and my coworkers did not, they kept getting voluntold to do things in their off time - creating resentment. It was obvious that if they could manage to sucker someone else in to replace me, I'd be fired.

So. We're safe. We have a lovely little house. The horses are safe. Nadra is still at training (for now), and the three boys are here with us. But we did have to spend a lot of our savings getting here, and now I am between jobs.

And so I come to you, tumblr, if anyone is listening - I have this little etsy shop where I sell stuff I make: https://littlehorsedesigns.etsy.com

You can find jewelry, decorative horseshoes, and horse halters there right now. Coming soon: dice bags inspired by Critical Role! Other yarn crafts!

It would mean the world to me if you could share this, also if you see something you like and wanted to buy it! Or if you see something you like but want a custom version, let me know!

#kiowa babbles #littlehorsedesigns #real life is so hard you guys #is there a proper way to tag someone encouraging you to poison yourself?#the only thing my therapist has had to say about this is literally you can't make this shit up

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ozma914 · 2 months

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Old Firefighters Never Die: They Just Smolder

So, I'm retiring. Not from my full time job of dispatching to become a Gentleman Author, as I wanted. (It's like a Gentleman Farmer, a rich person who just farms as a hobby. No real farmer is a Gentleman Farmer, especially considering their ungentlemanly language while going through bills.)

At my full time job we got an email pointing out, now that one of the Sheriff Department detectives has retired, I have the most seniority of anyone there or in dispatch. By six years. Maybe in the entire Noble County Government, although I'm not motivated to find out.

Nor will I retire from writing, until they pry my fingers from the keyboard. Maybe not even then, if I can manage text to speech. No, I'm retiring from what I've done longest (other than biological functions) in my adult life: firefighting.

That's Phil Jacob standing beside me, holding his pin for being a firefighter for 55 (!) years. I remain unconvinced Phil will ever retire. In fact, I should put off working on my Haunted Noble County book, because fifty years from now he'll be haunting the Albion firehouse. When I look at him (or Tom Lock, who joined up six months before I did), I realize I'd never have the most seniority on the Albion Fire Department.

I don't know how they do it. I beat my body down too badly. After working a fire, I'd be in so much pain I couldn't function for days. My back pain goes all the way back to back to back fires way back in the 80s, where I wore a steel air tank for longer than even a young pup should. It got progressively worse, and I slowly realized over the last few years that I was threatening to become another victim to treat at an emergency scene, instead of contributing.

The tanks are a lot lighter now, but I'm a lot heavier. And I have less hair.

In the last year I developed shoulder problems. Recently my knees started acting up, in a temper tantrum kind of way. (And they make strange noises.) I've got arthritis in my big toe, for crying out loud. Ever since Covid, it's been all I can do to get through a day without falling asleep on the couch. Okay, maybe six decades of living has more to do with that than Covid.

I'm not complaining so much as explaining. I loved firefighting. The guys and gals who volunteer at the AFD, and our neighboring departments, are my brothers and sisters--they're family. But I couldn't even go to the station much, especially between those murderous 12-hour night shifts in dispatch that wouldn't happen if I was a gentleman author.

But I put it off. I didn't want to admit I can't do something I used to be able to do. When I finally told my wife I was pulling the plug, she wasn't a bit surprised. Most likely no one was.

So I wrote the membership a letter, and a few weeks later, when we walked into the annual AFD Appreciation Dinner, I saw my name tag and a helmet with my number on it. It was real. I had by then reached the depression stage of grief. I'll let you know when the acceptance stage arrives.

Here's Brian Tigner, a hard worker for the AFD, giving me my stuff and telling me they'd just as soon I left through the back door. Kidding! The reconditioned barn where we had dinner was awesome.

Wow, this turned out to be more of a downer than I'd planned. It's not all bad: I'll stay on as an honorary member, doing the Facebook page, taking pictures, doing public information stuff, and so on. I'm also halfway done with that new AFD book, which keeps getting put on the back burner for one reason after another. But I'm thinking of going to this year's Fish Fry as a diner instead of a server ... that concrete floor is hell on my back.

I look good in red flannel. I do, TOO.

To this day, I don't know how I worked up the courage to walk into that firehouse door on my eighteenth birthday. Me, the shy, antisocial introvert with no interest in being on a team--except this one. Every time I headed up to the station, I stepped outside my comfort zone. If I hadn't I'd have missed most of the events of my life, and I wonder then if I would have ever had anything to write about.

And for every bad thing I experienced, there were a dozen great things.

Forty-three years. I'll carry them forever ... in a good way.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter

Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

Remember: Music makes heart grow fonder, but reading builds the brain.

#humor #writing #family #firefighting #firefighters #firefighter #on writing #volunteerism #volunteer #volunteering #retirement

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everythingthemoontouches · 3 years

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💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

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calmspirited · 2 years

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been a long time I've been here. a lot has happened. ill detail a bit what has happened in my life under a read more, but for those who don't have time -

tl;dr - lots of personal changes, ups and downs, moving away from dbd in general and dbd rp, may, *may* try fortnite rp, no promises, i'm going to leave my blog and sideblogs and start over with a new blog when i make it

this is super duper long under here. long and rambling and chock full of improper grammar

hello! i guess my departure from here started when the great porn ban hit tumblr. just really didn't vibe with their decision and stepped away for a while. during that time, I realized that it felt really nice not having to worry about rp'ing with everyone (and you all were wonderful!) and that in general, it felt like a job that i wasn't happy doing anymore. i realized dbd rp had become... tiring for me.

it was so long ago - over 2 years ago! I do remember getting a part-time job round that time, so that was another reason why I never really returned. biggest thing was my mother got sick around this time 2 years ago. she never got better and passed away in June of 2020. we really thought she just had a cold she couldn't get over and bad arthritis pains, but suddenly her health absolutely tanked and just 2 weeks after going into the hospital for the first time, she was gone. turned out, she had had insidious caner for years and never knew it, but even besides that, all of her health issues had suddenly magnified tenfold and it was too much.

my mother was a very important figure in my life, and her death was very unexpected and sudden and traumatizing. I remember being scared and anxious to go into "her" parts of our home for months. back then, I had briefly thought about coming back here - I was giving tumblr another chance - but when she got sick that got thrown out the window. i really didn't think about tumblr for months after her untimely death.

but her death led to the start of a lot of changes. she had been needing some home care for several years that I had done myself, and suddenly I found myself with a lot of free time and new opportunities. i signed up for full-time community college, and at the end of this year I hope to have an Associates in Business Administration, along with several management, accounting, and bookkeeping certificates. I got my first car in August of last year, and that has led me to get 2 part-time jobs and be semi-financially independent! that has always been a big goal of mine. im super glad to have these jobss since my eldest sister, who i live with and who supports me financially, had some serious heath issues of her own this past christmas and was out of work for almost a month, and i had to help with the bills.

since may of last year, i slowly started developing health issues. im not going to get too personal, but ive developed hormone, painful skin and auto-immune issues that has made me feel not too hot these past few months. im just starting to see the light at the end of that tunnel, and i'm looking to begin working with a specialist who can help me identify what is triggering my issues (it seems to be centered around food-they're thinking I have some sort of broad food sensitivity). its a slow process, but im beginning to have times where i feel... good. great, even. it's the start of a long journey for me.

While I still play DBD on occasion, i no longer support the game as much as I used to. ever since the pinhead nft debacle, ive lost all faith in the higher ups of BHVR and have come to realized just how scuffed and uncared for the game is. For the first few years, while the game was bad, you could tell while they were confused, they had the spirit and passion to at least try and make the game good. over time, it's clear they don't intend on strengthing the game to its full potential and are using it to make money.

(dont get me wrong, i love the aestheics and visual aspect of dbd - its the higher ups that have made it this way)

the pinhead nft episode was really it for me in concerns of loving dbd. i no longer support the game financially and can't really love a game whose developers blatantly mislead people and do not disclose the info that the purchases of one of their character will fund nfts until it is just too late to ask for a refund. trust me, that was on purpose. that was super scummy and really speaks volumnes about their goals. the only people i blame for that is the people up high enough to make these decisions, because i know several art designers at BHVR who worked on pinhead were shocked and dissapointed that their work was used for nfts.

I actually couldn't play dbd after they did a big graphical update sometime in late 2019 on my laptop, and i ended up trying out a few other games with a couple of friends. I somehow ended up getting into Fortnite summer of 2020. this also relates a bit to my mothers death, due to the fact that when she died, i had more free time at home to play games with others. I started playing loosely in Chapter 2, Season 3, and really remember being hooked by the end of the season into Season 4. While it was a silly, cartoon style battle royale game, I just ended up really vibing with it.

I've met a lot of new friends in fortnite, and have honestly had a lot more fun with Fortnite than I had with DBD. I finally got myself a real beefy PC this past December and have only played DBD a handful of times on my own. took me a long time to re-install it, too. say what you want about fortnite and it's average 12 year old playerbase (there are SO many of them its unreal) - theres real passion and good quality lore and events behind it the game's surface. it drew me in.

fast foward to now. I've started hanging around tumblr more these last few weeks and months and have thought about coming back... just not to dbd. dbd is not "it" for me anymore. it has lost its appeal, its fun, its passion. i have seriously considered picking up fortnite rp - if there is an actual serious fortnite rp community lol, haven't looked (is there even actual rp going on in tumblr anymore?). either way, if I do start rp'ing again, it will be in fortnite more than likely.

I have not only this blog, but several different rp blogs attached to this account. I'll reblog this post there soon and also the link where I will be making my new blog, wherever and whatever it may be. (note: this text editing is super cool)

I do intend on one day logging out of this account and then eventually never logging back in. That day will be one day, but not today. Before I log out of this completely, I will make a new blog and post the link where I will be. while i may find my old rp stuff semi-cringe, i know people did somehow enjoy my writing and I will NOT be deleting my account. Ever. I hate it when people do that.

I want to thank everyone for supporting me throughout the years, even if we were once friends and no longer are or have not spoken in years. I'm bad with keeping up with people once I drop from a social circle. my life has been a crazy journey these past years and it has all contributed to who I am today, which is someone I'm proud of. a lot of stuff has happened, and it is time I begin anew and wrap up this final part of my life that has been dragging its feet behind me.

if you have taken the time to read this, thank you. truly. to those who have followed me but have never interacted, take this as a hello and a thank you. even if no one interacts with this post, im glad to have gotten it off my chest. its been on my mind for a long time to move on.

I will make a new post when I make a new blog, and share the new link. I will also update my contacts soon (will make a note on the contacts page that it is up-to-date). As for my writing blog, I'm not quite sure what I will do with that. I actually have dreams to become an actual author, but whether I remake it, transfer it to a new site, or leave it altogether, I will announce it here and over there.

if anyone from... here, i guess, wants to get in contact, do not be afraid to message me. just keep in mind after i post the link for my new blog, you will have to message me over there as I will pack up shop completely. I probably will not remember who you are at all, but I do enjoy talking to people. I don't know when I will be making the new blog, but it will probably be within a month or so.

so... once again, thank you. while I was here, I had fun. but now, it is time to smoove on.

~Catch you on the flipside,

Jek

#fortnite #{ higher forces } mun #im so happy tags have autofill lol #but yeah!!! i do be moving on #my life changed so much here #but it is time to go to the next chapter #fortnite haha #dont know it til you try it. but definately watch out for the 12 year olds #theyre vicious #dbd #you never know #see y'all soon!

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weebsinstash · 3 years

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In reference to you wanting to write a piece w a disabled reader, I think it’s a great idea and you shouldn’t be embarrassed to write something self-indulgent like that! I’m disabled too (arthritis) and there’s a severe lack of writing w disabled rep. I can say with full confidence that I and a bunch of other spoonies would love to see someone w your talent write a piece like that! :) (obviously not telling you what to write, just wanted to give my view on it <3)

There's a big hesitancy about it because then I start thinking "well, is this fetishizing disability, or being insensitive to the vulnerability and struggles of other people, is this gonna upset someone because I'm--" and I have to stop myself because like gkfjfjcjfkcj bitch it's YOUR disability!!! You're the one in pain!!! I swear, sometimes I spend way too much time over-thinking things because I don't want to make a mistake or offend anyone 👉👈

Seriously, I remember being a minor, like 15, 16, mentioning to a doctor "you know i get a really strong pulling in my back sometimes, it really hurts and doesn't feel right" and he was just like "You're just overweight, get some exercise" and now I'm fucking 24 years old and now the story is "actually you have a genetic disability in your heels that literally does not allow you to walk normally, you have a posture lean from your body trying to correct itself, you're either bowlegged or knock-kneed, you could certainly try to exercise to lose weight but the more active you are the more your disability is going to cause you pain so it's not really recommended, and also have you ever had any x-rays because your knees aren't supposed to grind like that and--"

I've just been in... so much pain lately, the other night I was groaning and having to gently lower myself into bed. I've been getting significantly more exercise lately with this new job, like by walking to work (it's only .7 miles but it starts going up a slope at some point and it's asphaulted sidewalk that isn't always flat) and there are certain bending/leaning actions that I've been having to do that make me light-headed or send these stabbing pains through my back or shoulders, and that's on top of the shin splints, the grinding/rolling knees, slightly painful and constant hip/knee popping.... then I gotta get tested for pre-diabetes which god I don't even want to go into how fucking horrible that's going to be if that develops (not just for the lifestyle changes but because diabetes can cause joint inflammatory responses which is going to put me in even MORE pain)

I have some pre-op physicals scheduled and my first surgery is going to be on May 18, and I'm nervous but... I just really need this surgery, oh my fucking god it is becoming so hard to like, keep up an active routine and be motivated when I'm in constant pain like this like I'm literally having to dope myself up on ibuprofen sometimes

Honestly the whole thing has been making me feel so miserable and depressed and more suicidal than usual honestly so it's a comfort to know that there are people who wouldn't judge and would look forward to if I wrote something for a disabled Reader 🥺 god I had to skip my weekly chiropractor again yesterday and now I'm just really wanting a back rub or something....

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trickster-archangel · 3 years

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Vanilla chai for the coffee ask please XD

vanilla chai— do you have any hobbies that your followers don’t know about? or any hobbies that you once had, but stopped doing?

Ahahah You Cruel Girl!!

Yes, I honestly do live on hobbies, otherwise I'd go insane. But unfortunately I'm the Master of Lost Hobbies.

Apart from reading and writing, which I had to put on hiatus duecto University demanding my whole free time, and apart from University, which I still consider as a hobby, since I've changed my job and I don't see myself as an architect/engineer in my near future...

Yes. I do have hobbies. But in my defense, I always had to give them up for external reasons 😂

I used to play the piano and the clarinet: my grandmother wanted the piano back so I stopped, and the clarinet school stopped because we were just two students and it didn't pay. And of course, without the chance to practice, the habit wears out.

I also used to design and build jewels, mainly by stringing stones and pearls on cord or by wiring silver wire. I think I have a hundred of tgem at least, necklaces and bracelets and pendants and earrings. Plus some dozens still in need of sheer time to be finished. I had to give up because I've been developing a mild autoimmune arthritis and my fingers hurt, and since the main feature of this hobbyby is precision, I couldn't stand my increasingly sloppy outcomes.

I was part of a cultural/artistic/acting company, we like used to design and build Carnival Chariots with a lot of fancy devices which opened and transformed the chariot while the acting and the music went on, so there was a lot of drawing, painting, welding, bending, nailing etc to do. Apart from dancing and acting, of course. I left because there had been some....hm, bad situations I didn't like to deal with, so Inleftvthem to their internal slaughter and left.

I also enjoy gardening and especially trying to get saplings out of the most weird stuff, hoping to train them into bonsai 😂 lucky I have a old huge house and garden so that I can store all my pots!

I love languages and I had picked up the absurd idea of learning the most peculiar languages (I studied Latin and Ancient Greek at school so that's just nothing new), and I was making progresses in Japanese, Quenya and Gaelic, apart from German and French, but the 2012 Earthquakes literally topsy-turvied my world, then I was admitted the Architecture Faculty and...they'll have to wait.

I am positive I could come up with something else, once I'm over with studying... something I always wanted to try was swordsmanship, and learn how to fly a chopper.

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #hobbies #electricrogue

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thewritepages · 3 years

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The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (2)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

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MAY 10, 2019

3.30 A.M.

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Maybe Kat was right- A few days away has done me good.

I've actually stopped bawling every ten minutes. I have even managed to sleep for five hours straight last night, which is a significant improvement.

My family members quickly realized that I had to no intention to talk about the disastrous interview or about my estranged husband. Instead, they've tried distracting me with all sorts of things-

Mum: "Anna, darling, come here and help us with the gardening."

Me: "Who's the other person in the 'we'?"

Kat: (appearing out of nowhere) "That would be me."

Me: "Okay, fine. Wait...Mum. Didn't you complain of knee pain? You may have arthritis! You need to stop exerting yourself."

Mum: "Oh, Anna, really, it isn't so bad-"

Me: "And you, Kat, what do you think you're doing here? Without GLOVES?? You may develop toxoplasmosis! Do you know how toxic-"

Kat: (rolling her eyes) "Oh, now enough already Miss Know-It-All. I was going to wear them! Would you please-"

Me: "On second thoughts, gloves won't suffice. According to Youronlinegynac.com, You have to make sure you wear long sleeve blouses, long trousers, rain boots and a mask, for good measure."

Mum: "Anna-"

Me: "Plus, you're carrying twins for heaven's sake. Don't you ever read pregnancy articles? You must give your back as much rest as possible-"

Kat: "I JUST GOT OUT OF BED-"

Me: "Back to you, Mum. The morning sun is not very good for your aging skin. I think-"

Kat: "You know what, Anna? Never mind about us. You should probably go back to sleep."

Jeez, so much for being considerate.

So, yeah. That's what I've been the entire week – Eat, Read and Watch Movies. Sometimes, Kat pops in to chat but storms away ten minutes later claiming that my "Ridiculous Internet Articles" exasperates her. I completely fail to understand why she gets so agitated about it. The other day when I told her all about Kim K's regime for fighting flabby abdomen and about her extremely shapely hips despite having four kids, all she did was glare at me for a full minute and then stomps away.

Must be the hormones.

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MAY 11, 2019

3.30 A.M.

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IT'S DEFINITELY THE HORMONES.

I MEAN, HOW COULD SHE - I WOULD NEVER – IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE –

Calm down, Anna. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

Okay... let's just rewind all that.

About two hours ago, I was just roaming around the house, munching on Pop Tarts, having nothing else to do with sleep permanently erased from my mind. Passing through the corridor, I suddenly spotted the narrow staircase leading up to the attic.

Deciding to go check out the old stuff stashed up there, I climbed up the rickety staircase, opening up the dusty wooden door. As I rifled through old furniture and documents, a familiar cardboard box caught my eye. It was labeled "ANNA'S STUFF. DO NOT TOUCH." In my old scrawly handwriting. As my gaze lingers on the label, memories seep into my mind. Why did I skip college? Why did I leave town? Why did I sacrifice everything...for him?

With shaky hands, I open the box.

The box was filled with dozens of college applications, unfinished application essays and my high school books. I touched the frayed sheets, decaying with years, wondering how life would have been, if I had just taken the chance.

"Anna! What happened? " Kat dropped down beside me, breathing heavily.

"Kat! Why did you come up here? The latest article in the Mom-to-be e-magazine says that –"

"Oh, will you just stop with your goddamn articles and tell me what the hell is wrong? Why are you crying?" Her gaze shifted to the box.

"What's in that?"

I quickly closed the lid. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just being my usual pathetic self, I guess." I wiped my cheeks hastily.

"Aw. C'mere, Annie." She opens her arms wide, offering comfort. I accepted it gratefully.

"Okay. Now tell me what's wrong."

Despite my state of weakness, I still found the strength to roll my eyes at her. "Really? You want me to tell you the messy details of my marriage, once again?"

"Oh lord, not that. I'm sick of hearing your big, sad story." I let out a sad chuckle. "The other reason for your misery. There's something else, I know it."

I sniffed. "How do you 'know'? "

"I just...know."

"Jeez, and I thought I was the weird one."

She broke away from the embrace and looked at me right in the eye.

"Now, will you stop deflecting the topic and tell me what the hell is wrong with you?"

I looked here and there for some distraction. A few moments later, I realized that I was trapped.

"It's nothing, really."

"I'll be the judge of that." She smiled kindly at me.

And that was it. I began to bawl like a two year old.

"I wish I never skipped college. I wish I never gave up on my dream. I wish I'd waited like you d-did. "I swallow the huge lump in my throat. "And you know what's the worst part? I gave up everything, for that...that bastard!" I threw my face in my lap, muffling my high decibel cry.

Kat, on the other hand, waits patiently. Ten minutes later, I sit up straight, staring at her with bloodshot eyes.

"So...no words of comfort or consolation?"

"Why is there a need for that when the solution is right in front of you?"

"What do you mean?"

Her face grows impatient. "You sound like you're eighty and lying on your deathbed or something. You have so much of life ahead of you, so many opportunities waiting for you."

I shake my head, still not getting the point.

All of the sudden, she grabs my face tightly and looks at me with happiness glimmering in her eyes.

"You wanted to attend college, right? Get a degree? Discover your talents? This is the moment, Anna! You can finally live your dream!"

I stare at her for a solid minute. And then I stare at her some more.

"Well?" she inquires.

"Me? Attend college? Now?"

She nods vigorously. "This is your chance, Anna. What's there to stop you?"

I blink. She blinks.

Suddenly, I explode into a full-fledged, insane laughter. I laugh and I laugh, till my cheeks hurt.

Kat waits again, calmly as ever. She appraises me grimly. "If you're done with the schizophrenic behavior, would you be kind enough to tell me what you found so funny about what I said?"

"What's funny about it? Seriously? I'll tell you what's funny." I stand in front of her. "Look at me. I'm a thirty year old divorced, childless woman with nothing to look forward to. I've spent my entire life listening to complaints, be it from my boss in office or from my husband back home. Now that my darling husband has got rid of me, I have to work extra shifts to pay the rent, the bills, everything."

"So what, Anna? This is what you've always wanted to do. You are an intelligent, young"- I snorted-"independent woman, as far as I've seen you. You deserve a fun college experience, even if you think you're twelve years late for it."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Kat, but I really am twelve years too late to apply. And anyway, which college will be willing to take me in?"

"Any college would be lucky to have you, Annabelle Green. Just you wait and watch." She strides out of the attic, determined and excited.

Oh, well. Now that I think of it, all of this was probably a part of the mood swings she goes through. I bet she'll forget all of this by breakfast time.

Yeah, nothing to worry about.

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A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me know by reblogging or sending me a message. It helps a lot and keeps me motivated. Till then stay healthy :)

Love and Kisses,

D <3

#chicklit #teenagers #young adult #writers on tumblr #womenwritingfiction #fiction #funnyshit #college life #university #holy heck #literature #romance #diariesoftheoldercollegiate

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darkicyninja · 3 years

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My Journey

I would like to share my story because it took me years upon years to rise to the Phoenix that I am today.

One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies Beyond The Lights is Blackbird, both by Nina Simon as well as Noni. The lyrics in Noni’s version, second verse, are:

“Now I rise as the phoenix escapes from me…

…through the fire, through the flames

leaving ashes underneath…

I'm free at last,free from you

free from the past

freedom at last

what is life, other than a cage to me…”

Fibromyalgia will claim me no longer

I first started feeling pain in my back around the age of 14. I have had several injuries: fractured left wrist, fractured left hip, torn MCL in left knee, blunt force trauma to my left eye multiple times, broken toes, broken fingers, swollen meniscus, bursitis, sciatica, solar plexus issues, sprains & strains especially in my neck and spine as well as majority of joints and other issues. All of this was discovered from X-rays and MRIs. The doctors could see my spine very out of alignments with some slight unnatural curvatures acquired from poor posture and other bad habits. Massage, topicals (especially CBD, tiger balm, biofreeze, and Penetrex), and stretches/yoga helped tremendously. By the time I was 17, the pain was so unbearable that I could only lay in bed crying and I had to resign from my job & also had a tough time working ever since.

My father took me to a chiropractor named Dr. Bob W. He adjusted me several times, however the adjustments would not hold. My mother took me to the doctor and he said I needed to see a neurologist. I went and had to get several tests done including a nerve test where they insert a needle into your nerves in your arm. They could see that my muscles were twitching but could not find the cause.

I was referred to physical therapy. I worked hard for 3 months but my pain only got worse. Eventually my pcp prescribed me muscle relaxers, tramadol, and a seizure medication in college. A few days later while taking mt world civilizations exam, I noticed that I could not sit still. The seizure medication was causing tremors which my pcp said was an adverse affect and I was having micro seizures. They took me off of the medication however it took around 96 hours to get out of my system according to the half-life. I still actually have a mild tremor/twitches to this day. After that was the trigger point injections which were very painful as the doctor inserted a need in all of the fibromyalgia trigger points generally near joints as well as nerves and vertebra. Eventually those stopped helping as well.

Then I tried marijuana for the first time. I used to be very against all drugs (straight edge XXX), however marijuana saved my life. Most of my pain was instantly eased away. So I went from social smoker, to buying on occasion, to full bud smoker is a matter of months.

My mother was upset about it though and the stress of moving in with my mom and only smoking bed when she was asleep and outside at that made me pick up the horrible habit of smoking cigarettes. I tried K2 but we all know the horrible adverse affects of that. I first got the Marlboro Skyline but then they discontinued them so I switched to menthol. I just recently switched to menthol golds/lights and actually prefer American spirit but they are so expensive. I started rolling my own cigarettes and blending different tobaccos for a a smoother taste. Then I remembered my friend Age in college used to smoke herbal cigarettes, Luna I believe to be the brand but I think they discontinued them. So I decided with my business (Skull Treats), we will bring back herbal cigarettes and detox from tobacco together. I have been using foot detox pads and they are amazing, another product I am working on.

I actually mix CBD with my THC and it is delicious and makes the bud last longer. I am working on getting my medical marijuana card as well as assisting in legalizing recreational marijuana (clinical trials are being planned). Marijuana assists with so much and I had even read before in a scholarly article that it helps detox your lungs of the harmful tobacco byproducts. I don’t believe that experiment was replicated enough in diverse enough populations, but another research experiment I would love to try.

A slight bio, I graduated from Robert Morris University (BS in Biology 2013), attended Chatham University (MS in biology 2014; did not finish), and Devry University (MS in project management 2014; did not graduate). I am currently attending Harvard University (Certifications in Spanish, Japanese, Psychology of Personal Growth, and Oracles - Omens & prophecies 2021) as well as Shaw Academy (Tarot, Crystal Healing, Alternative Therapies, Jewelry Design, Video Game Design & Development, Mini MBA, Coding, Writing 2021). I will be working on my PhD in biology & psychology hopefully next year at University of Pittsburgh, an affiliate of Skull Treats (most organizations mentioned are or are in the process of becoming official affiliates and majority of research shall be conducted with Pitt/UPMC).

Anyway, I had seen that my friend Jordan was a reiki practitioner so I booked an appointment. The appointment was amazing, she gave me the background of reiki as well as crystal healing before playing some zen music. During my session I kept seeing purple and lilies. She told me after she had seen the color purple as well!

“The color purple symbolizes power, insight, and tenderheartedness, purple boasts numerous good qualities. On a more negative note, purple can also be overly sensitive and unnecessarily vigilant. Fortunately, the good outweighs the bad when it comes to this marvelous wonder. With its uplifting spirit and undeniable beauty, purple entices with ease…”

- color-meanings.com/purple-color-meaning-the-color-purple

I did my research and seen that Savella was the newest drug approved to treat fibromyalgia. My doctors had not heard of it so they needed to conduct their own research. After a month, they agreed to let me try it and it has completely changed my life! The only pain I have left is my knees and joints which are apparently arthritis which I will get treatment for as well. My doctor recommended aqua therapy as well as occupational therapy for small more focused tasks.

If anyone is suffering from any chronic pain, whether minuscule or severe, try Savella. I have tried majority of the popular antidepressants, mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety, muscle relaxants, nerve and other medications and therapies. Gabapentin and lyrica ( a GABA isotope) did not help even in high doses and neither did Cymbalta.

“Savella is a prescription medication for the management of fibromyalgia in adults.

Savella is a prescription medication for the management of fibromyalgia — a common, chronic condition that causes widespread pain and affects an estimated 6-12 million people in the United States alone. The cause of fibromyalgia is unknown.

An antidepressant, milnacipran is one of three drugs that have been approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat fibromyalgia. While relief of fibromyalgia pain can help people feel less fatigued, milnacipran appears to have an additional effect on fatigue — separate from that associated with pain relief.

Many experts believe that fibromyalgia is associated with changes in the processing of pain signals in the brain and spinal cord.

In clinical studies that compared Savella to placebo, patients who took Savella said:

* They felt less pain and

* their fibromyalgia overall was improved

* their physical function was improved

Savella is categorized as

An antidepressant, belonging to a class of drugs called serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRI).

Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are a class of medications that are effective in treating depression. SNRIs are also sometimes used to treat other conditions, such as anxiety disorders and long-term (chronic) pain, especially nerve pain. SNRIs may be helpful if you have chronic pain in addition to depression.

SNRIs ease depression by affecting chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) used to communicate between brain cells. Like most antidepressants, SNRIs work by ultimately effecting changes in brain chemistry and communication in brain nerve cell circuitry known to regulate mood, to help relieve depression.

SNRIs block the reabsorption (reuptake) of the neurotransmitters serotonin (ser-o-TOE-nin) and norepinephrine (nor-ep-ih-NEF-rin) in the brain. SNRIs approved to treat depression.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved these SNRIs to treat depression:

* Desvenlafaxine (Pristiq)

* Duloxetine (Cymbalta) — also approved to treat anxiety and certain types of chronic pain

* Levomilnacipran (Fetzima)

* Venlafaxine (Effexor XR) — also approved to treat certain anxiety disorders and panic disorder

- Savella.com

- mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibromyalgia/expert-answers/milnacipran

- Hopkinsarthritis.org

Summary:

In summary, with the right combination of hemp (CDB and/or THC), topicals, heat/ice application, yoga and stretches/meditation (with HZ sound therapy), as well as a medication such as Savella, you will actually have more energy and with less pain, that increases your quality of life so that you can accomplished what you need to do! I also became a distributor for amazing weight loss nutritional spray as well as a energy spray (more overall cellular energy/ATP) and we are also about to have a cash giveaway challenge! This will be so much fun. Let me know if you are interested in the challenge, the products or becoming an affiliate yourself and becoming your own boss with the flexibility to set your own hours from the comfort of your home

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