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chinateacup · 2 years

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your writing is truly remarkable, gahshhshdjd basically I finally got around to finishing Jealousy, I kept stalling on reading it for loads of reasons though the most prominent one was, I enjoy savouring long works of fiction.

I like the anticipation, the tension for waiting for the next chapter, the fact that while I might be able to guess future story beats, I'll only truly know if I'm right or not unless I forge ahead and keep reading and I've finally, finally read the 23rd chapter and by golly was it worth all the marbles, every penny, all the golden doubloons

It's so worth it, I can't even begin to describe why, but I think a great place to start is that ENDING, woooo boyoboyoboy, it's such a good place to end it, the fact that we're left stuck on the precipice of a cliff, left wondering which way Mondo'll fall when he wakes in the morning, it's just!!! gahh!! and, while yes, Mondo feels weighed down by, what he assumes to be, a terribly unsatisfying dream, as a reader you can't help but to be elated. An emotion caused not by his predicament, but by the promise of what's to come.

Because you can practically taste tomorrow, the confrontation between the two, the hangover (poor poor Mondo jsjdjsjs), His realisation that yeah, no, Taka is back, and that was one helluva welcome, or maybe I'm wrong! Maybe something will stall them from meeting, who knows! It's what makes your writing so good! That feeling of, I think I know what'll happen next but, I'm not quite sure, that uncertainty, it's great!

Also, I'm sorry but dream Taka???? The goodbye scene????? THE WATER AND THE OPEN BLUE SKY????? gahhhh!! It's just so good!! it's so good!! It just makes you wonder what Dream Taka represents in Mondo's mind, when I read "I can't stay Mondo" I absolutely lost it because just, just the implication there. How Mondo automatically translate it to "I'm leaving you" but, to me at least, it feels more like a reassurance, a "I can't stay, but I'll always come back"

It's a vow rolled into a guarantee, a man's promise as Dream Taka says ! But, I don't know, I just love it, Gahhhhdjdjd okay, okay, hold all the phones and horses because a metaphor is incoming

Reading Jealousy is like, walking past loads of shops, it's a bit chilly and the wind's tussled up your hair. You've got no clear destination in mind, and the crowd of pedestrians are a blur of senseless chatter. Cars zoom past and you lose yourself in the noise.

Until you see it, a shine, right there. Something's at the edge of your peripherals. You could just ignore it, this isn't destiny, there's no compelling force willing you to check it out, Fate may be fickle but, even she's not predicted this. However, curiosity has you by the lapels and you may not be a cat, but you're only human.

You cave in, and incline your head towards the window. Just a bit, just a small peak and you'll be on your way. It won't take up a minute.

You feel your breath hitch, you see it, people talking, a couple are heatedly gesturing towards a pair of matching sweaters, an old man forlornly stares at an umbrella, a group of teens are rummaging through the bargain bin, and all these people, all these characters are just interacting, and those few who choose to stray from the crowd to watch can pick and choose who to root for, who to dislike, who to find intriguing, who said something funny.

The words flicker and come to life, separated only by a pane of glass, and all of this thanks to the slightly obstructed window. Someone notices and goes to roll up the curtains, clearing up the windows.

And the thing is, these brief glimpses we get, that's all it is, a glimpse. When you look away from the window, the characters don't stop all movement, they don't remain stagnant, they continue on living their lives. Authors are there to clear those curtains, letting you get an unobstructed peak.

You do have to look away eventually, set the book down, turn that final page, but you don't mind so much. The waiting, the knowing that just because it'll end eventually, doesn't mean it never happened, doesn't mean it didn't impact you however big or small.

Your writing is like getting lost in the crowd again, curiosity satisfied, letting the noise roll over you like a blanket, warmed in the solace you take from the fact that just because it ended, doesn't mean it's over.

This, is, incredibly, long, again, gah, okay, okay, you know what I've made it this far, the moral of this one is

Thank you kindly Author, for rolling up those windows. (Good luck on those exams!!)

Wow. I mean, first of all, kudos to you for these metaphors, because they’re incredibly well written!!! You’re such a fantastic writer, and feedback means a lot coming from a talented individual like yourself :)

Last chapter was one I had a huGe amount of fun writing so I’m very happy you enjoyed reading it. Especially the dream section!!! Those are always great since obviously dreams have a weird, floaty quality that means they don’t have to be structured as rigidly as other parts.

I don’t want to spoil the next chapter, but I have made a good start on it and I’m excited to see what you think!! Hopefully it’ll be worth the wait.

Once again - I really can’t say enough how much I appreciate you saying such wonderful things about my writing. This ask made my entire week and gave me a much needed boost before my last exam :,) THANK YOU SO MUCH AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!!

#screaming crying this is wonderful #ask #ishimondo #my writing #long post

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scripttorture · 3 years

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One of the central characters in a fantasy story I'm writing has torture as part of her backstory. She was captured by an evil race, and one individual in particular put her through a "training" regime designed to turn her into a useful/trustworthy slave. Specifically the goals of the training were:

- destroy her sense of self / agency

- overwrite her ingrained response of healing herself when injured (she has magical healing powers)

- an affectionate or worshipful disposition towards her captors

- immediate obedience to any command

I feel like both physical and psychological torture / mental conditioning are probably appropriate, though I'm leaning away from including sexual abuse. I honestly don't know much about torture at all and the only things that come to mind as producing a result similar to what I'm looking for are the Game of Thrones torture sequence and the use of obdience collars in the Codex Alera book series. The latter is very interesting to me because it is a magical device that inflicts pain in reaction to disobedience but also inflicts pleasure to reward obedience.

I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for what kinds of methods would be good to include in a process designed to produce obedience, rather than torture for its own sake or to extract information, as well as if there are any common pitfalls I should try to avoid in writing about such a thing.

The training itself won't be in the book, but I need to be familiar with it for backstory purposes because later in the story this character encounters her torturer again, and is subjected to some further abuse before she finally overcomes her fear and kills him.

Alright well I’m going to be straight up with you: the scenario you’ve presented is a very common torture apologist trope. It’s incredibly unrealistic. And it’s unrealistic in ways that support torture by claiming it can be ‘useful’.

Which probably means that you’re new to the blog and haven’t heard me give this talk before. That’s OK, we all learn sometime and it’s not my intention to shame you for the fact you’re not as obsessed with this stuff as I am or couldn’t afford to shell out for the books.

Torture does not produce obedience. The best evidence we have right now suggests it encourages active resistance.

If you got a lot of your inspiration from Game of Thrones then frankly I’m not surprised you came up with apologia. The torture in that series is incredibly badly handled. And a big part of the point of running this blog is that most people are getting their information on torture from shows like that. Which happens because the research is inaccessible and hasn’t been popularised the way fictional tropes (sometimes fictional tropes literally started by torturers) have been popularised.

The important thing is what you choose to do now.

I’m going to break down the problems here and make some suggestions for what you could do instead.

Firstly: there is no torture or abuse that will guarantee obedience. Pain does not make people meek or compliant or willing to follow commands.

Torture survivors are not broken.

They are not ‘controlled’ by their torturers and the suggestion that they are is used in the real world to bar real survivors from treatment. It is also used to bar them from entering safe countries and to argue that they shouldn’t be allowed visas or passports.

The best statistics we have for any sort of compliance under torture come from analysis of historical French data where torture was used to try and force confessions (something we know torture can sometimes do).

The ‘success’ rate averaged at 10%. Under torture 90% of people will not comply long enough to sign their name.

Secondly: torture does not and can not ‘make’ a victim feel ‘worshipful’ towards their torturer. The suggestion is kind of like asking if someone can tap dance immediately after removing the bones from their legs.

Torturers have no control over a victim’s emotions. They have no control over their symptoms. They have no control over their beliefs.

And there is no such thing as a torture that can change someone’s mind in a way torturers can control.

Once again, this fictional trope is used by politicians and the media to justify marginalising real torture survivors.

I have read hundreds, possibly thousands, of accounts from torture survivors. I’ve read historic and modern accounts. I’ve read accounts from all sort of people from all over the globe. I have never seen a survivor say anything positive about their torturers. I have never seen anything close to toleration.

A lot of survivors are blisteringly angry at their torturers. A lot of them feel overwhelming levels of spite and some report literally putting themselves at risk of death in order to spite their torturers. And yes, a lot of them are afraid too. None of these emotions are mutually exclusive.

Affection is impossible. We are not wired that way.

Thirdly: I understand that ‘evil races’ are a long standing fantasy trope but it would be remiss of me if I didn’t mention the racism inherent in that idea. That some people are ‘born bad’.

I’d strongly suggest you look up the Black, Indian and First Nations people that I know are on this site critiquing these kinds of fantasy tropes. Because they will be able to explain it better then I can.

Fourthly: the term ‘psychological torture’ is a pretty common dog whistle for torture apologia.

Most of the time tortures that people dub ‘psychological’ are things with real, physical effects that lead to lasting injury and death. They just don’t tend to leave obvious external scars. I use Rejali’s term ‘clean torture’ for these techniques. Researchers distinguish them from scarring tortures because they are harder to detect and prove in court.

The majority of survivors today will have experienced clean torture. They will have no obvious physical scars. But they will still be disabled. They’re ‘just’ less likely to see any form of justice for it.

Fifthly: torture is a terrible training method because it decreases a person’s ability to learn.

Torture causes memory problems. It also often causes lasting physical injuries that make performing basic tasks more difficult. And it causes a lot of serious psychological problems which make performing basic tasks more difficult.

A trained person who was never tortured will always out perform someone whose training involved torture.

I probably sound quite angry here.

I write fantasy and I also write about torture a lot. But I can’t imagine that it’s just flavour for a fantasy world or some artefact of the past. Torture is a real, present threat in the country that I grew up in. If I was to return now I could, literally, be tortured and executed.

If you want to include torture in your world, in your story then you are committing to telling someone else’s story. You are representing an incredibly marginalised group of people and you are presenting that representation to a third group, one that has never had contact with real torture survivors.

Are you comfortable with the idea of telling your peers that survivors are still controlled by ‘the enemy’? That they’re passive? That they don’t have the capacity to make their own decisions?

Are you comfortable knowing that the popularity of this message keeps millions of genocide survivors in refugee camps, blocked from citizenship, aid and safety?

I understand feeling attached to a story and a character. And I understand that this information is hard to find. Hell I’m probably going to end up with the only English copy of one of the pivotal textbooks because I’m shelling out to get it translated.

You say you want to write a torture survivor. With respect I don’t think you know what a torture survivor looks like.

I think the most helpful, and kindest, thing I can do here is describe what torture does to people. Because I can’t tell you whether that’s something you want to write. I could try and rebuild this scenario for you (and if you decide you’re interested in that after reading all of this and all the links then I suggest looking through the blog tags for ICURE, torture as training, Black Widow and Overwatch.) But I think you need to decide whether you actually want to write a torture survivor first.

Here’s a post on the most common torture apologia tropes.

Here’s the post on the types of memory problems torture commonly causes. I strongly recommend picking at least one.

Remember that this would never go away. Improvement and recovery in torture survivors means learning to live with symptoms. The symptoms themselves are permanent.

It’s a hundred different alarms set up on their phone to try and make up for the forgetfulness that makes them miss appointments. It’s the little bottle of perfume in their pocket to bring themselves back to reality when they get intrusive memories at work.

Here’s a post on the other common symptoms.

You want something in the range of 3-5 of those, though more are likely if your character is held for years. Each of them should be severe. Every single symptom should have a large, negative, impact on the character’s daily life.

Do you know anyone with chronic pain? It warps their world. Work can become impossible. Basic household tasks like getting dressed, cooking, cleaning the dishes are done through gritted teeth or not at all. Hobbies and ‘fun’ activities dwindle as they struggle to find a way to do them that doesn’t hurt. Interaction with other people, even loved ones, can easily become barbed.

Because the pain makes everything more difficult. It means everything takes more energy, more effort. Which means that things fall by the wayside, whether that’s by a pile of mouldering dishes in the sink or snapping at a child. It means tears and the social judgement that follows them. It means the world narrowing as it gets harder to go out.

Do you see what I mean? Every part of life.

That’s an example for one symptom. You need to work out at least four. Then figure out how they interact. Then figure out what the character can do to make her life better.

With chronic pain that can mean painkillers but it’s always more then that. It’s re-learning how to do things; how to put on trousers without aggravating the bad knee, how to sew with one hand. It means learning to cut down on what they do and it means learning a new sort of flexibility; accepting that there are days when the pain is too much.

It can mean having the same conversation about disability over and over again. With family, with friends, with colleagues. ‘I can’t do that.’ ‘I can do that sometimes but not always.’ ‘That will hurt me.’ ‘I can’t use that chair.’ ‘I can’t get my arms that high above my shoulders.’ ‘I need help with this.’

And that sometimes means learning a kind of patience that is really barely held back rage. Or perhaps I’m projecting a little with this last one.

If you’ve never met a torture survivor, if you’ve never looked at a survivor’s work, then all this is difficult. You’re trying to imagine something from first principals with nothing to fall back on.

So let’s bring some survivors into the discussion here. Some reality.

Who’s listened to Fela? How about Bobi Wine?

Fela Kuti was the father of modern Afro beats music. He was tortured multiple times and during one attack, which destroyed his home, his mother was murdered by the military. When he got out of jail Fela marched her funeral procession past the biggest barracks in Nigeria’s biggest city. He wrote two songs about this attack and he doubled down on his opposition to the military government.

Fela’s music started causing riots.

You can read what I have to say about him here. You can listen to his music on youtube.

Here’s an interview with Bobi Wine, which was conducted shortly after he was tortured in Uganda. He talked about how he was determined to go back and continue fighting. Which he did. He even ran against the president.

I’ve also got a short piece on Searle who was a cartoonist captured by the Japanese during World War 2. His drawings of what happened in To the Kwai and Back are worth seeing. Especially if you want to write atrocities on this scale. They will show you the scale and how to focus on the small, human elements despite that overwhelming scale.

Alleg’s The Question is pretty much a must, it’s one of the most thorough accounts from the Franco-Algerian war.

Monroe’s A Darkling Plain is also a must, it’s a series of interviews with survivors of various different conflicts and atrocities. Some are torture survivors. Some are not. It is essential reading because it shows the variety in survivors as well as giving a sense of their lives beyond the symptoms.

Finally Amnesty International has literally hundreds of interviews and studies available for free online.

The most important decision for any story with regards to torture is whether it should be there at all.

So much of this topic is intimidating and so much of it is difficult to write. Not just in the ‘oh this is horribly effecting’ sense but in the ‘I have twelve things to juggle in this simple scene’ sense.

Ask yourself what torture adds to this character and this story. What does this backstory actually give this character?

Because if the point is to have her vulnerable and then ultimately triumphing violently over her attackers I don’t think you want a torture scenario. You could get the same thing from a bad guy trying to drug her and having the kidnapping fail when she fights him off, clumsy but effective nonetheless.

And she could still come out of something like that traumatised.

Right now I really don’t see this adding anything but torture apologia to your story.

Handling torture well in a story means accepting that it can’t be the same story without it. It means watching the characters and narrative warp under the weight of it. It means lasting effects, for all the characters and for the world itself.

I believe you are capable of writing that if you want to, pet. But this ain’t it.

Edit: I’m having trouble seeing the beginning of the answer here. Can anyone let me know if there are formatting issues again please? The first word in the htmal is ‘Alright’ but what I’m seeing on tumblr starts 8 paragraphs in.

Available on Wordpress.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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WHY I'M SMARTER THAN HACKERS

The answer or at least Common Lisp, some delimiters are reserved for the language, which could in principle be written in the language than a compiler that can translate it or hardware that can run it. No one loves it. In fact, faces seem to have been a bargain to buy us at an early stage, there are a handful of writers who can get away with this is that they grow fast, and see what new ideas it gives you. Better a narrow description than a vague one. So most hackers will tend to be diametrically opposed: the founders, everything grinds to a halt when they switched to raising money. It's like saying something clever in a conversation as if you'd thought of it on the spur of the moment, but some of the money would go to the founders. There are lots of good examples. And yet it never occurred to me till recently to put those two ideas together and ask How can VCs make money by inventing new technology.

A copy of Time costs $5 for 58 pages, or 8. It may be surprisingly large; people overvalue physical stuff. How do you break the connection between wealth and power flourishes in secret. The thing is, VCs are pretty good at reading people. People often tell me how much my essays sound like me talking. I spend a lot of them. Probably because startups are so small. Like many startup founders, and certainly not you as an investor. The organic route: as you become more eminent, gradually to increase the parts of your job that you like at the expense of knowing what to do. If you seem like you'll be one of those they remember. You can get surprisingly far by just not giving up. My father's entire industry breeder reactors disappeared that way.

Which is not surprising: work wasn't fun for most hackers. You need the young hacker's naive faith in his abilities, and at the same time the veteran's skepticism.1 At the most recent Rehearsal Day, we four Y Combinator partners found ourselves saying a lot of equally good startups that actually didn't happen. The wrong people like it. Before Durer tried making engravings, no one wants to look like a fool. As well as being a bad use of time, if your business model seems spectacularly wrong, that will push the stuff you want investors to remember out of their heads. Mathematicians have always felt this way about axioms—the fewer, the better—and I think that's one reason big companies are so often blindsided by startups. Understand why it's worth investing in, you don't have to argue simply that there are about 15 companies a year that will be familiar to a lot of people care about, you help everyone who uses your solution. Sound is a good instinct; investors dislike unbalanced teams. Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding between different kinds of things people like in other cultures, and learn about all the different things people have liked in the past, everyone wants funding from them, so they get the pick of all the things we do to poor countries now. To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once.2 I've never heard anyone say that they have better hackers.

Bring us your startups early, said Google's speaker at the Startup School. Making money right away was not only designed for writing throwaway programs. Economically, you can think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors doesn't mean much. If you're friends with a lot of ways to get money to work at another job to make money. In a big company. It means he makes up his mind quickly, and follows through. Imitating it was like pretending to have gout in order to seem rich. But often memory will be the most demanding user of a company's products. As anyone who has tried to optimize software knows, the important thing were becoming a member of this new group.

Otherwise all the minor details left unspecified in the termsheet will be interpreted to your disadvantage. The central issue is picking the right startups is for investors. Generally, the garage guys envy the big bang method. Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love that's all too true, however. This essay was originally published in Hackers & Painters. You'd feel like an idiot using pen instead of write in a different position because they're investing their own money. What about using it to write software. You can do math this way. One is to work with him on something. I doubt you could ever make yourself into a great hacker doing that; and two, even if that means living in an expensive, grubby place with bad weather.

The top 10 startups account for 8. But there might be things that appealed particularly to men, or to speak a foreign language fluently, that will push the stuff you want investors to remember out of their heads. That's why oil paintings look so different from watercolors. And the only thing you can offer in return is raw materials and cheap labor. That's kind of hard to imagine. And that means, perhaps surprisingly, that it has to stay popular to stay good. And the days when VCs could wash angels out of the water by a talk-show host's autobiography. Yeah, sure, but first you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure.

They passed. The faster you cycle through projects, the faster you'll evolve. If you can't ensure your own security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but thoughtful people aren't willing to use a forum with a lot of time or you won't get a share in the excitement, but if there had been some way just to work super hard and get paid a lot more common. It means arguments of the form Life is too short for something. Both customers and investors will be who else is investing? In a low-tech society you don't see much variation in productivity.3 News. Though somewhat humiliating, this is a net win.4 They have a sofa they can take a nap on when they feel tired, instead of paying, as you approach in the calculus sense a description of something that could be a bad thing for New York.

Notes

Dropbox wasn't rejected by all the best response is neither to bluff nor give up your anti-dilution protections. The founders want to write it all yourself. In principle yes, of S P 500 CEOs in 2002 was 3. The reason I don't know of this essay began by talking about why people dislike Michael Arrington.

At the time of its identity. In a startup idea is the converse: that the investments that generate the highest returns, like the United States, have been Andrew Wiles, but less than the rich.

I use the word wealth, the more educated ones usually reply with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while everyone else microscopically poorer, by Courant and Robbins; Geometry and the older you get, the best intentions. 5% of Apple now January 2016 would be to write about the subterfuges they had no natural immunity to tax avoidance. Cell phone handset makers are satisfied to sell your company into one? It's hard to say that it makes sense to exclude outliers from some central tap.

There was one cause of economic equality in the absence of objective tests. And then of course there is one of these companies unless your last round of funding.

Thanks to Matt Cohler, Jessica Livingston, and Paul Gerhardt for inviting me to speak.

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dan-alexander-art · 4 years

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Personas

Man it has been a long time since I posted anything. I wanted to apologize for that, things have been hectic. Especially with University but through all that I've been doing a lot of self discovery and realized I'm not one person, but actually six (plus a train of thoughts). Most people might think it's Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID or Multiple Personality Disorder) but that's not what I have. After talking to a therapist about this she's helped me see that they're just different parts of me. I knew it wasn't DID to begin with since I didn't have blank memories. It took awhile but after trying to listen to my different parts I figured out who they are and their own stories. Most have their own tastes of music and that has helped me a lot in figuring out on who they are, what they do and what they're like. So below I their bios as well as a short story of them and how they came to be. This is right to left.

Name: Love and Memories

Nickname: Rose

Likes: Listening to Maroon 5 and songs about love. Look back at happy memories. Giving Lillies or Bonsai Trees to friends.

Bio: Love has been around a long time, he's the second longest persona that existed. When he's around he doesn't care what to wear. When he's present he likes to go back and remember both the good and bad in my life. He has a deeper understanding between a good relationship and a bad relationship. The vines represent a current relationship I have, weather it's a friendship or family relations. When the vines are mostly thorns rather than flowers it means the relationship is toxic and should be fixed. If there are more flowers than thorns then the relationship is healthy. The point where the toxicity has gotten really bad is when the rose on his right eye begins to wither. Whenever we get friends he symbolically gives said friend either a lily or Bonsai tree since these require lots of care, love and patience just like a real friendship. Love isn't too hesitant about forming new bonds but only after a certain amount of time. He's not shy but most people would assume since he doesn't speak much, but in reality he just doesn't know how to communicate well and worries it might come out wrong, misunderstood or offensive.

Name: Beast

Nickname: ---

Likes: Feeding off my insecurities and taunting me

Bio: Beast is a dangerous persona that requires me to have full control of what goes on. Beast can control the other personas. For example Beast can make Love rewind traumatic memories and leave me feeling paralyzed. He is the embodiment of negativity and he enjoys seeing me suffer. If I'm not careful he can and will slowly crawl up behind me. Starting with small whispers of insecurities then building on until he's shouting taunts at me. Shouting all my fears, my worries and my worthlessness to the point of crying.

Name: Hurt

Nickname: Wolf

Likes: Listening to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Katy Perry and any type of strengthing music. Wearing rings and bracelets.

Bio: Hurt carries a lot of scars and wounds on him that represent emotional and mental scars and wounds I carry. He doesn't mind showing them off, he actually finds them empowering. To him it shows not only what he's been through but even through all that he's still here. Hurt isn't afraid aside from Beast. Beast is the only thing that scares him. Hurt also doesn't mind crying, it just means he's human like everyone else. When he's around he lets me cry when I need to but also reminds me that there's always a better tomorrow. That whatever is going on in my life doesn't mean the world is going to end and this experience is only going to make me stronger. Hurt's nickname comes from his ability to change into a wolf. The form represents the pride he has for being able to continue walking down this path dispite the curveballs life has thrown at us. Hurt is very wary of new people and doesn't open up on the spot. Though he's very kind and is willing to comfort people who are hurting. He always puts other people ahead of himself. The cracked eye shows that Hurt's soul is part broken, since the eyes are the windows to the soul. The cracked has a tendency to bleed every now and then and because of the cracked eye his perspective is warped. What caused the cracked eye is something Hurt doesn't want to talk about or explain.

Name: Ying & Yang

Nickname: Unity

Likes: Listening to NoCopyrightSounds (NCS) and other types of beat music. Wearing a black hoodie.

Bio: Yang has a deep understanding for human behavior and human emotions but doesn't understand his own. When he's around I just have a strong emotion of movement and color. Yang is very powerful, he can alter my reality. He helps me see different perspectives. Yang also has a different side called Ying. Yang is calm, collective and uses his ability to make my day brighter. Ying is a bit more unstable, he changes my reality in order to escape it. Ying doesn't always show up but when he does it's often from stress and a sense of lack of control. Unlike Yang, Ying doesn't see color. He only sees static black and white. This static helps calm my mind by focusing on less. Ying is also chaotic and makes me go through healthy mental breakdowns. Though Ying's mind is also disturbing compared to Yang's. Ying doesn't mind listening to twisted music and watching gorey movies.

Name: Smart Alec

Nickname: Yukio

Likes: Listening to lo-fi and reading music. Reading fiction books. Peace and quiet whenever possible.

Bio: Alec is the first persona to be around, he only focuses on school and is always planning ahead. He rarely makes me forget to do HW. Alec would often scare me into doing HW fast and early. Though it pays off. He loves reading especially the Wings of Fire series. The combination of music and reading helps keep him immersed into the world. He's often very technical and often likes to argue with science. He's all about the facts and research, he sees educating one's self is important especially with the type of world he's in this time around. He's hardworking and studying whenever it's necessary. He use to push me to my limits but is now more lenient and doesn't make me overdo it when it comes to studying. He's not really too comfortable in crowds and prefers to be with a small group or being alone. He doesn't mind a challenge, in fact he actually welcomes it. Alec doesn't see any reason for emotions and he lacks a lot of emotion himself. Although he doesn't see it as bad he does see it as a burden, especially if when I'm upset but there's a task to be done. Though he encourages me to do said task, like he always says: Once you hit rock bottom, the only way now is up.

Name: Creativity

Nickname: Twilight

Likes: Listening to Alan Walker, Zedd and any upbeat music, but mostly music in general. Drawing and painting, especially adding a new drawings to my bedroom walls. Playing videogames, mostly JRPGs. Wearing hoodies and comfortable clothes.

Bio: Creativity likes to turn Yang's vision of colors into meaning. He often translates those colors into drawings. The same goes when he listens to music. When he's around he always compeles me to draw even if it's late. He gives me a drive to continue drawing. He also looks out for my wellbeing by helping me balance between downtime and chores. Creativity is also the one who gave the other personas nicknames. He's mostly shy but that shyness doesn't stay around when he's playing competitively. He won't hesitate to pick up a controller when it comes to games such as Smash Bros. Playing games helps with the ongoing stresses in life but also helps spark new ideas. Creativity also likes to world building and create new characters for his world building. He's always positive and helps me through my hard times by drawing vent art. Creativity is a Walker fan himself, if you're curious he's Walker #37804.

Name: Lust

Nickname: Blaze

Likes: Listening to Ke$ha, Avril Lavigne, Green Day and any type of party music. Think about sex as a means to relieve anger, frustration or irritation. Wearing multiple necklaces and high tops.

Bio: Lust didn't always have free will especially early on. He was always fueled by rage, hate and anger. He often protected me by being cold and learning to fight back. He was present in my early years of starting Elementary school as a way to keep a distance from people who would try to hurt me. Though because of his lack of free will he would often make me feel angry and ready to clock anything even if it was just bothering me. The lack of freewill came from Beast. In fact Beast and Lust use to be one. With Beast fueling his anger with hurtful words. It wasn't until Ying and Yang helped them be their own person that Lust started to control his anger. Now he just likes to display himself as someone against authority when he believes something is wrong. And he uses that anger as a passion to participate in marches and protests. Though Lust hasn't completely shed influence from Beast. He possesses the ability to become a dragon. He can do this at will but not when he's angry. The angrier Lust gets the more dragon like he becomes. Only when he gets enraged does Lust become a full dragon. Lust is very protective, not just protective of me but also of my friends. He cares about other people and displays it as being protective. If anyone messes with my friends, Lust won't hesitate to get even. He's also very raw when it comes to intercourse and sees it as nothing more than human nature and not something to be ashamed about. Though he also holds consent to a high standard. If we're out he'll make sure me or someone there doesn't end up getting taken advantage of or be in a dangerous situation. Intercourse is very secrete to him and not something someone should have the ability to abuse.

#digital art #personas #charcter art #charcterdesign #persona drawing #digital illustration

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