#I might even have some of them answer y'all directly

[bellaxgiornata]

Seeking Forgiveness [Part Seven]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.6k

[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader

a/n: I have finally gotten this update up for y'all! It's been written and sitting waiting for over a month, but now that I'm not trying to write holiday fics (though I might still write that Owen Sleater one), it's back to business as usual! Feedback is always appreciated!

Fidgeting with the beer bottle between his fingers, Matt wasn't paying much attention to the room around him. Which said a lot about his current focus considering how loud Josie’s bar was this evening with the crowd that had filled the space tonight. He also wasn't paying any attention to the conversation Foggy and Karen had struck up a while ago at their table about a client they'd met with earlier today. Because despite the fact that Matt was currently sitting with the pair of them drinking back his beer, his attention was entirely elsewhere this evening. On you a couple of blocks away in your apartment.

Admittedly there wasn’t very much that he could pick up on at this distance where he sat at Josie’s, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from trying to hear what he could–even if he knew he shouldn't be invading your privacy like this. It was already bad enough he always stopped by at the beginning and end of his patrols, always wanting to make sure things were alright. Though deep down he knew he kept doing it because he was desperate to feel connected to the pair of you somehow. He just couldn't seem to stay away despite that being what you seemed to want him to do. 

His eyes narrowed in concentration behind the lenses of his glasses. It sounded like you were cleaning up whatever dinner you'd made in your kitchen, which made sense considering the hour. You usually ate around this time after work. As he listened to the faint sounds of dishes clinking together, he wondered what you’d made to eat tonight. You'd been craving pesto pasta like crazy but constantly kept forgetting to add the items to your grocery list. Something Matt only knew because of his new habit of lingering on your rooftop as Daredevil, not because you'd actually spoken to him recently and told him yourself. For which he kept chastising himself about doing, except he couldn't seem to stop eavesdropping. 

Like right now.

Despite you making it clear you wanted nothing to do with him for the time being, he had tried calling you repeatedly in the hopes of finding a vastly healthier and less invasive way to stay connected with you, but you'd only answered once and it was to ask him to stop calling. You told him when you were ready to talk that you'd reach out to him. Which meant he hadn't tried to show up at your apartment as Matt Murdock, trying to respect your wishes. But that ultimately put him in a difficult position, because not communicating with you meant he couldn't prove himself to you–couldn’t prove how sorry he was for what he’d done. He'd been back and forth on that for the past two days, constantly feeling like the clock was ticking on him finding some way back into your life to show you that you and that baby were what he wanted.

An abrupt, loud snapping noise sounded directly in front of Matt’s face and he jumped in his chair, blinking rapidly a few times behind his glasses. The noise instantly had broken his concentration from his thoughts and your apartment, something that had taken him quite a few minutes to lock in on in the first place considering the distance.

“Matt, buddy, you in there?” Foggy asked.

Matt cleared his throat, forcing a smile onto his face at the sound of his friend's voice. Gradually and begrudgingly his attention and senses returned to the bar around himself.

“Yeah, sorry,” he replied. “Was just zoning out, I guess.”

“Thinking about her again, aren’t you?” Foggy solemnly asked.

“Kind of hard not to,” he muttered.

He felt Karen’s hand land gently on his shoulder before giving it a comforting squeeze. He glanced in her direction, sending the tense smile her way. Despite how much he'd screwed things up with you, and how much Foggy and Karen cared about you, they'd still been incredibly supportive of him. They'd even been understanding of his initial angry outburst at the office for which Matt had guiltily apologized for numerous times by now.

"She's doing alright," Karen assured him. "Though I'm guessing you already know that."

Matt ducked his head, awkwardly running a hand across his mouth as he felt the guilt burn within him. There was no point in denying it. You had to have already figured it out yourself when he'd left that stuffed narwhal at your apartment after you'd gone back to sleep the other night. It wasn't as if he'd expected that to make you feel any differently about him, but he hoped you knew that he was still here. Still around. Still thinking about the both of you. Still wanting the both of you. 

"Yeah, I stop there at night," Matt admitted awkwardly. "Not for long," he lied, "just enough to know things are alright. That she doesn't need anything. And to uh…hear the heartbeat."

Truthfully it had become his new favorite sound, even more than the beat of your own familiar heart. It was muffled but strong, faster than the usual heartbeats he heard all day long. 

"Have you tried just showing up?" Foggy asked curiously. "You know, the way people usually do, not the way you usually do? Just to see what would happen?"

Matt shrugged, shifting in his chair. "I've thought about it," he answered. "I'm just always torn between respecting her boundaries and wanting to show her that I'm still here for her. That I want to be. But I'm always afraid if–” he paused, wincing as the thought crossed his mind. “I'm afraid if I do, it'll only upset her more. Push her away from me even further.”

Karen hummed in thought beside Matt. The sound caught his attention, his head tilting a bit to the side towards her. The noise almost sounded like one of disagreement. 

“What?” Matt asked. 

“I think,” Karen began carefully, “that she's actually a bit conflicted.”

Matt's attention focused entirely on Karen now as he straightened in his chair. His brows rose up curiously onto his forehead, eager for her to elaborate. 

“Conflicted?” he asked curiously. “Conflicted how? About what? Me?”

“Yes,” Karen answered with a faint nod. “I mean she obviously still loves you, Matt. That doesn't just disappear overnight. Ideally I think she'd want you to be raising the baby with her from the way she talks. Going through all of this with her. But she's still hurt. And she's scared. And she, well, obviously still doesn't believe her and the baby would be a priority to you.”

Matt twisted in his seat, fully facing Karen. “So what're you saying?” he pressed.

He heard the way the air shifted as Karen shrugged beside him. Her lip suddenly caught between her teeth where she lightly chewed it for a moment. The pause was killing Matt, his hand tightening around the neck of his beer bottle. 

“I'm saying I think you should find an excuse and show up at her place,” Karen eventually replied. She held up a finger as she quickly amended, “As Matt, not you-know-who. Don't push her boundaries, just show up long enough to show her you're still here, like you’ve been wanting to do. That you're not giving up. I think she needs that more than she's letting on to you. Maybe…find some sort of way to show her you're trying to be a supportive future father and partner.”

“Okay,” Matt mused, running a frustrated hand through his hair and mussing it as his thoughts began to race. “Okay,” he repeated. “So don't show up with apology flowers. Noted.”

“No, but maybe bring her something else that might help her,” Karen suggested lightly. “Something that might be useful during her pregnancy. To show her you're serious about things with her and the baby.”

“Oh!” Foggy exclaimed, excitedly slapping a hand to the table. “Like an excuse to just show up and see her because you're dropping something off!”

Matt sighed deeply, swiveling back around in his seat. He leant his elbows onto the uneven wooden table as he began to rub his palms together in thought. What could he possibly bring you that might be useful for your pregnancy? Something you might actually be grateful for and need? That wouldn't make you curse him from daring to darken your apartment door?

This was something he'd have to give some thought to tonight. 

Willing your mind to quiet, you lay on your side beneath the sheets of your bed which you'd tugged up to your chin. It was a little after one in the afternoon and you'd been hoping to take a brief nap after lunch, something you couldn't do during the weekdays because of work. Your body usually wanted to give up once this time of day hit, probably partly because of pregnancy fatigue but also because you hadn't been sleeping well lately. 

It was damn near impossible to get comfortable when you laid down even though your stomach wasn't quite that large yet. But the hormones in your body responsible for relaxing your muscles and ligaments during pregnancy were also responsible for the fact that sleeping on your side killed your hips and knees far more than side sleeping ever had in the past. You didn't just wake up to pee or possibly vomit now, sometimes you just ached horribly and couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in. Which often led to your mind racing and keeping you awake for part of the night. 

Truth be told though, everything on your body hurt lately. You often had headaches–another perk of early pregnancy–along with constant back and hip pain. Your breasts were still quite sensitive and tender, too. The one bright spot through it all this week had been an appointment you had coming up with your obstetrician. The one where you could get your blood drawn and in another week or so, you'd know whether your little devil would be a boy or a girl. It had been on your mind all week, your excitement barely contained and adding to your inability to sleep. 

Trying to push the thought of the baby's sex from your mind, you squeezed your eyes a bit tighter shut. The light from the sunny afternoon was still slipping in past your blinds, making your room almost too bright. The sounds of the city traffic bustling below your apartment weren't helping right now, either. 

But it was an unexpected knock at your apartment door that had your eyes inevitably flying back open. 

Raising your head from the pillow hesitantly, you blinked hard a few times. You hadn't been expecting anyone to stop by today. Brows knitted together, you pushed the sheets off of yourself and ran a hand over your eyes. Moving slowly along the bed, you gradually pushed yourself upright and set your feet on the floor, noticeably moving slower than if you hadn't been almost eleven weeks pregnant. 

Rising to your feet, you sluggishly made your way out of your bedroom and down the hall. Stopping in front of your door, you undid the locks before turning the handle and pulling it open. The sight of Matt standing before you in one of his fitted tee-shirts with an awkward smile on his face took you by surprise. Your eyes widened as you felt your own pulse increase at the unexpected appearance of him. Gaze dropping down, you saw he was carrying an almost comically large shopping bag in his left hand.

“Matt, what are you doing here?” you asked, one hand gripping the door tighter. “I thought I–I asked you to give me space for now?”

“Yes, you did,” he replied awkwardly, that smile on his face growing more nervous. “But I…I really don't want to stay away because I was still hoping you could give me a chance. To prove how sorry I am.”

Shoulders dropping at his words, you lightly blew out a breath. “Matt–”

“Hear me out, please,” he begged, cutting you off.

An earnest look crossed his face as his dark brows drew together above his glasses. Lips pressing together, you released the door from your grip and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Fine, talk,” you demanded.

“Look, I–I know you want me to stay away,” he began in a rush, as if he was afraid that you wouldn't give him enough time to explain himself before you slammed the door in his face. “And I want to respect that, I do. But I can't walk away from the both of you. I can't . I won't abandon my child and I won't abandon you. I want to prove how sorry I am to you, sweetheart. I want to prove that you can depend on me, that I want this. Because I do.”

“Matt, I already told you that I'd let you have a relationship with your child,” you reminded him. “I'm not telling you to abandon them.”

He shook his head quickly, his hand readjusting on the plastic bag he was holding. It crinkled loudly in his grip and briefly caught your eye again, making you wonder what the hell was in the bag. But when he spoke again, your attention returned to his face.

“You might not see it that way,” Matt countered, still shaking his head, “but to me it's no different. And I won't walk away from you or my own child.” His face grew more solemn as he added softly, “You know me, sweetheart. You know how I grew up, how it affected me. All I'm asking is that you just…just give me a chance to make amends. I made a massive mistake and I hurt you. I was an asshole and I want to fix things. So just…can you at least consider giving me that chance? Please?”

Inhaling a deep breath, your eyes scanned over his anxious, pleading face. Your heart had dropped in your chest the second he'd mentioned his past. Because of course you knew how Matt had felt abandoned by what his father had done, willingly going and getting himself killed when he won that fight instead of losing it which ultimately left Matt alone in the world. You also knew how he'd formed a bond with Stick, his mentor who'd abandoned him the moment Matt displayed his care for the man. You also knew about his toxic relationship–the only other he'd ever had–where his ex had abandoned him because he wouldn't kill his father's murderer. And then of course, you knew how much pain he'd felt when he learned that his mother had been a nun at the orphanage he grew up in, making him feel unwanted because he'd only accidentally overheard the truth as a grown man years later.

Matt Murdock struggled with feeling unloved and unwanted because of his abandonment issues from almost every important figure in his life. And now he was afraid he'd be condemning this child to a similar trauma. The thought of that caused your heart to twist tight in your chest. 

“I'll think about it,” you answered quietly. 

“Thank you,” Matt replied in relief, his expression visibly relaxing.

Your eyes dropped back down to the large bag in his hand, your head tilting to the side as you curiously studied it. Matt let out a nervous huff of a laugh as he shifted on his feet. He extended the bag out towards you and your brows jumped up onto your forehead. 

“I uh, I brought you something,” Matt said, his tone returning awkward. 

For a moment you just stared at the bag in his outstretched hand, unsure what to make of him bringing you anything right now. Slowly and hesitantly you reached out, grasping onto the handles of the bag. Though you let out a surprised gasp when Matt let go and the weight of its contents startled you, almost causing you to drop it entirely. Your other hand darted out, grabbing onto the bag and catching it before it could slip from your grasp. Drawing it towards yourself, you peered inside. 

“It's a pregnancy pillow and a weighted blanket,” Matt explained, running his now free hand across the back of his neck. “I know you have had trouble sleeping lately and I thought they'd help. The weighted blanket should help relax you and the–the pregnancy pillow should help with body pain and the weight of your belly when you're farther along. I actually spent a while researching them. Who knew there were so many shapes?” He chuckled nervously, his hand still rubbing the back of his neck. “Figured this one would work the best for how you sleep–or, how I remember you always sleeping, at least.”

Your jaw dropped as you stared back at Matt, the heavy bag still held in your hands. While the gift was thoughtful and sweet, there was only one explanation as to why he'd brought these particular items which were meant to help you sleep, especially when you'd had a hard time doing exactly that lately.

“Have you been spying on me again, Matt?” you questioned in disbelief.

He hung his head immediately, his shoulders dropping at the accusation. You already knew the answer before he even said a word and your mouth fell open wider.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't,” he apologized shamefully. “I know I shouldn't. But I mainly just check in first thing when I go out at night and–and then once more before I go home. To make sure you're safe and alright because I worry. And I–” he broke off, nervously chewing his bottom lip. “I like to listen to the baby's heartbeat,” he confessed quietly.

Something about the way he'd admitted that last bit had disarmed you. That wasn't what you expected him to say and you momentarily felt your heart soften to him. But your upset about him eavesdropping on you soon washed back over you again, your hands curling tight around the bag.

“I don't like that, Matt,” you warned him. “That makes me uncomfortable knowing my ex is listening in to whatever I'm doing in here and I don't know about it.”

Matt nodded solemnly in response. “I understand, I do. I'll try my best to refrain, but if something brings me nearby at night I…admittedly have a hard time not picking up on things.” He shrugged faintly, his covered gaze still downcast. “I'm just tuned into you and it's sort of a habit by now after how much time we've spent together.”

An awkward silence settled over the both of you at his explanation, the pair of you standing there wordlessly. You weren't about to invite Matt inside–especially not after just learning that –but you could also tell he clearly didn't want to go, either. Though after a moment he shifted his weight between his feet before he glanced up in your direction once again. His lips were twisted downwards at the corners, guilt and sadness barely hidden on his face. You fought to ignore the urge to draw him into a hug at the sight.

“I'll let you go, I can tell my visit isn't exactly what you want, but can you think about what I asked?” he questioned. “About giving me a chance to prove myself?”

Blowing out a breath, you slowly nodded. “I'll think about it,” you told him softly, “but I'm not making any promises, Matt.”

He shot you a tense smile, nodding his head once as he took a step back into the apartment building hallway. Something tugged at your heart knowing he was leaving, but you quickly tried to ignore that feeling, too.

“Hope those help,” he murmured, briefly gesturing to the bag.

Without another word, Matt turned and made his way down the hallway and back towards the elevator at the far end, his cane tapping lightly along the floor. You watched his retreating form for a moment before you forced your eyes away. You didn't know quite what to make of his surprise visit. 

Closing the door of your apartment, you locked it again before dragging the heavy bag back to your bedroom. You were still tired and had every intention of attempting that nap despite the unexpected interruption, and admittedly you were curious about the items Matt had brought you. Would they actually help you fall asleep?

It was a few minutes before you'd managed to unpackage the incredibly soft, gray weighted blanket and spread it over your bed. You'd put the pregnancy pillow up on the bed underneath the blanket afterwards before you'd climbed up onto the mattress and slipped beneath the blanket. Immediately you wrapped your legs around the pillow and snuggled up to it, feeling the pain in your hips instantly lessen in this position. You sighed in relief, letting your eyelids gently drop as you felt the weight of the blanket relaxing you, just as Matt had claimed it would. 

With a soft, contented hum, you nuzzled into your pillow and felt that wave of exhaustion begin to overtake you. But as you lay there waiting for sleep, you couldn't help but imagine it was the weight of Matt's arms wrapped around you, comfortably sinking you further into the mattress. And if you kept your eyes closed and tried hard enough, you could imagine it was Matt's thick thigh that your legs were wrapped around, wedged between yours just like you'd slept many nights in the past with him. 

Which was how you finally found yourself drifting comfortably to sleep–imagining you were safe in Matt’s arms, the place you so desperately missed being. 

Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably @two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @thychuvaluswife @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this-is-music @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @swissy23 @babygorewhore @that-girl-named-alex @warsaur @lareinaisabelle @pazii @senjoritanana @mischiefmanaged71 @xxdrixx @jess-rye @hannahbohen @theclassicvinyldragon @karolamurdock @theoraekenslover @mr-underhills-things

[Some tags aren't working, I never fully know why. If I've misspelled yours, please feel free to let me know! Otherwise it's just tumblr being a pain and not tagging for unknown reasons because this always happens. I'm sorry!]

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock #daredevil

[justporo]

Healing Hands

Halsin was injured in a fight and the one responsible for that is Astarion who now - against his own volition - feels like he needs to do something to help the other. Being alone with the gentle druid brings up more unexpected feelings though and it might not only be Halsin's wound that is being tended to.

MASTERLIST | AO3

Author's Note: This was written as a secret santa gift! My gift recipient was very okay with it being posted so y'all are being treated as well. This was also like... my first time writing full-on M/M smut (so please be gentle? As gentle as Halsin if you can...). So, have another instance of porn with feelings...

Pairing: Astarion/Halsin Warnings: Explicit sexual content (anal, fingering, handjob) Wordcount: 6,3k ~~~

“It's nothing.”

“It's obviously not nothing, otherwise you wouldn't have sounded like a dying boar each time you took another step all the way back to camp”, Astarion spat at Halsin who was currently leaning against a tall boulder next to his tent to steady himself. The druid was partially doubled over in pain from an injury - but still towering over the vampire.

Astarion immediately regretted the words as soon as they had left his tongue.

Yes, he was mad at this oaf of a druid for playing down his injuries - simply because it was idiotic and an unnecessarily heroic thing to do. But mostly the vampire felt guilty - a sentiment he'd become used to just suppress to not let himself get dragged under completely. But alas, that coping mechanism didn't seem to work this time.

So here Astarion was, wallowing in the shame of being the one responsible for the wood elf’s wounds. It ate him up from the inside - and he hated it.

And the vampire might've been even more shaken had he admitted to himself that the guilt and the anger were generously laced with genuine worry about the druid. But he surely wasn’t ready for that confession yet.

Halsin looked at the pale elf who was standing before him with his arms crossed over his chest and who looked only one more moment away from angrily throwing his hands in the air. But he also saw that tinge of worry and shame in the vampire's crimson eyes.

A warmth filled the druid’s chest realising what the vampire might not yet fully let himself understand. Maybe with some time though, the druid thought to himself, Astarion would realise what had made him come over here instead of just turning away in indifference.

“I’ll have you know that that's not at all what a dying boar sounds like”, Halsin replied softly with a lopsided smile while trying to stand up tall again. Astarion huffed.

Halsin knew he was pushing it when he answered like that. But then again it seemed like playful, if not even sometimes outright mean, banter was a much easier way for the pale elf to work through his emotions than addressing them straight on.

“Well, so I guess you simply sounded like a dying druid then”, the vampire spat back and then - with arms still crossed over his chest - made to turn and walk away. “Maybe I should have just left you alone in your final moments, let you suffer alone, since you’re so keen on becoming a martyr.”

The words were pure venom.

Halsin didn’t mind. He saw directly through the hurtful words and knew of the pain beneath that caused them. And he also knew that this was merely a coping strategy for the vampire who hadn’t even been allowed to care for someone - not even himself - for such a long time.

The druid could have left it at that, letting the other man walk away. Maybe to bring it up again later, to give the younger elf some more time to process his own feelings.

But if Halsin was honest with himself he was quite desperate for some company too, some genuine connection - it had been so long since someone had taken care of him for once. Centuries of always getting back up again on your own made you strong if not stern for sure. But it also made you lonely quite often.

So the big man took a quick step to reach for Astarion before he was out of reach and grabbed his shoulder - softly but with determination. The quick movement caused another strained groan and a wince but he didn’t falter.

“Please, Astarion”, Halsin said in a deep tone, trying to filter the struggle out of his voice. Astarion halted immediately although he only turned to the other man reluctantly. Still he was barely able to hide that he’d been eager to be interrupted from leaving.

But the gaze in his crimson eyes was still cautious, closed off. It was almost as if the vampire was a wild animal - if not approached quite right he could still quickly be driven away. And then one couldn’t be sure if he would ever come this close again.

But thankfully sidling up and taking care of scared animals was kind of Halsin’s specialty. If he’d mastered getting along with hurt beasts and proud predators surely he’d be able to find the right words to make the vampire feel at ease and let down his guard - even if only for a tiny bit. Then the druid would take it from there.

“I appreciate your concern, more than I maybe let on at first and I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to mock you”, the druid declared and softly squeezed the vampire’s shoulders while with an open smile he tried to convey his genuine conviction.

“I’m not conc-”, the pale elf began to spit but the warmth and open vulnerability on Halsin’s face made him shut up again quickly. It wasn’t entirely clear though if it was mainly because he’d realised the lie he had been about to utter or if he simply wasn’t able to deal with the tall elf’s strategy of gently deescalating.

Slowly, Astarion let himself be nudged to turn around, so Halsin quickly continued: “If you’d be so kind I could use some help cleaning and dressing the wound - it’s easier with a second pair of hands. And probably even more if it’s yours.” The druid realised his mistake in wording as soon as the sentence had left his tongue. Immediately, the vampire’s cocky confidence was back.

“Oh, is that so?”, Astarion replied as his signature smirk was now spreading over his face. The vampire turned around fully again and lifted one of his eyebrows. The former anger and pettiness was seemingly forgotten as soon as he had seen an opening for sultry jokes - how typical.

“So what you’re saying is, you want my hands on you, Halsin Silverbough, did I catch that correctly?”, Astarion asked and sauntered around the druid a bit who followed him with his eyes. His arms were still crossed over his chest but he was leaning towards Halsin now, a smug grin still on his face.

Halsin meanwhile had released the vampire’s shoulder and seemed even a bit flustered by the sudden change in tone and mood. He’d known Astarion could be whimsical but the way the vampire could almost turn anything into lewd commentary was astounding even to him.

“I mean, if you wouldn’t mind - I could use some help with-,” Halsin began.

“Alright,” Astarion immediately interrupted him with a dramatic sigh and roll of his red eyes “I’ll do it. But only because - what would you even have done if I hadn’t come over here by accident.” The vampire clicked his tongue while Halsin couldn’t stop a knowing grin creeping onto his lips. How Astarion twisted and turned everything into a joke so as to not be seen as actually caring would have been amusing if the reasons for it hadn’t been so sad.

But for now Halsin simply accepted his deflections and just felt joyous that he had succeeded in drawing the rogue back in. The time to talk about coping mechanisms was very much a discussion for another night. And if Halsin was honest with himself he felt the pain from the wound a lot more the longer he waited to get to it. And he didn’t want it to become an actual problem.

The druid said nothing more and simply turned around to open up the flap to his tent with another wince and ducked inside. He felt Astarion following closely behind.

Inside was just about enough space for the two men to stand. The closeness with which both of them were suddenly confronted immediately set another mood again. And when Halsin went to light the lantern the mood was certainly only intensifying when dim orange light filled the small space.

The druid started to rumble through his supplies while trying to both ignore the growing pain and the knowledge that he probably never had been this private with the vampire before.

He liked Astarion quite a fair amount. Despite the younger elf being quite ghastly at times and his unsated need for violence Halsin had immediately felt drawn to him. Maybe he’d felt from the beginning that some of the lashing out lay deeply rooted in pain and suffering that no creature should ever have to endure. Even before he had learnt bits and pieces of Astarion’s past, had Halsin felt the need to ease his agony. To hold him until the tension released - or maybe even was replaced with another kind of tension altogether.

The tall elf was reminded of these thoughts as he kept going through his stuff - maybe taking a bit longer than unnecessary in an attempt to calm himself from emotions welling up inside him.

Meanwhile, the other elf suspiciously cleared his throat while he looked around the druid’s tent and definitely not at the other man’s backside. Whatever it was he thought and felt about Halsin, it seemed complicated if not completely opposite to the druid’s notions. Not that he had willingly admitted any of this.

Small pots and bottles clanking and clattering were the only sounds for long awkward moments until Halsin finally found the salve and some bandages that he’d been looking for. He put them down somewhere beside him. Then he turned around to face Astarion again who still had his arms crossed over his chest. This time it seemed defensive - or maybe it was just a way to keep his hands occupied since he had no better idea what to do with them. The druid would give them something better to do soon though.

“I have an ointment that will take care of the wound and help the healing process. I’ll have to clean the injury first though, maybe you could see if we still have some spirit around among the camp supplies?”, the wood elf proposed to Astarion who immediately nodded and went off without another word. Uncommon for him, but judging by how Halsin himself was missing some of his usual self-confidence in this unusual situation, he couldn’t judge him.

When the vampire returned, a bottle of strong alcohol in hand, the wood elf was currently trying to get his armour off - and failing miserably. The still growing pain made it hard for him to make full use of his arms and move them around enough to undress himself.

It only took Astarion one glance to take the scene in and realise this. He put down the bottle next to the other stuff Halsin had put out in preparation and took another step closer to the druid, already holding up his hands, reaching out.

“Nothing, huh? But you can’t even loosen the straps on your armour, eh?”, he teased but there was actual worry in his voice and eyes and Halsin didn’t dare protest now. The sudden genuineness surprised the druid once more. Silently, he wondered how many more moments like this there would be tonight.

“Let me do it for you”, the vampire continued and already started undoing the straps of Halsin’s armour with his nimble, elegant fingers - starting on the side and then slowly moving around to the druid’s back. Silence stretched out between the two men as Astarion quickly undid the buckles; already a lot less awkward than before.

It was only interrupted when smooth, cool fingers accidentally made contact with warm skin and sudden gasps left both the druid’s and the rogue’s mouth when Astarion started to gently drag the armour off Halsin’s chest.

The druid helped by lifting up his muscular arms as much as his wound would allow - suppressing strained moans as much as possible.

Astarion took off the armour and discarded it rather carelessly somewhere off to the side, seemingly distracted. In all honesty he was a bit too smitten with how the now half-naked druid looked before him. Strong muscles moved with every breath Halsin took - flexing, relaxing again, it was almost hypnotising.

But seeing the big giant gash just under the rib cage that snaked around Halsin’s upper body ripped Astarion out of his stupor rather quickly. Deftly, he stepped around the druid once more and made sure to keep staring at the wound rather than the rest of Halsin’s body.

All the while in his head the vampire kept turning around the question why he was seemingly so affected by this man. Usually he was the one in charge, taking the lead, the one seducing and making the other party gasp in awe and admiration. He didn’t like to be caught on the backfoot.

But something about the druid drew him to that man. And he was desperate to let it happen, at least for a while. His only hope was that he wouldn’t regret letting down his guard.

What the vampire failed to realise in these moments though, was that the druid was very much just as affected by all of this. Halsin’s breath had become harder and even he himself wasn’t entirely sure if it was because of the wound sending searing pain through his body or if he was yearning to feel more of the vampire’s hands on his naked skin.

Astarion was still staring at the giant slash that had cut the druid from the side of his hip, across his stomach and even up and around to his back. It was big but at least the weapon had seemingly been very sharp and the cut didn’t seem awfully deep. Hence, it had already stopped bleeding for the most part.

Without another word but making it a point to not look into the druid’s face out of fear what the bigger elf would read on his face, Astarion turned around and grabbed the bottle of alcohol and some of the prepared bandages. He opened up the bottle and drenched some cloth in the alcohol.

Meanwhile, Halsin kept staring at the vampire’s long fingers doing their work while unconsciously biting his lip. All he could concentrate on at this moment other than feeling agony from the injury was the thought of Astarion touching him again when he’d clean up the wound - nevermind that the alcohol would make it hurt so much more.

Placing down the glass bottle, Astarion cleared his throat. For a single moment his crimson eyes flicked up to the druid’s who was waiting in anticipation. The way the bigger elf looked at him with slightly parted lips now and wide eyes had not been what he had anticipated. It irritated him enough to let his eyes immediately snap back down.

Then the vampire gently grabbed Halsin’s wrist with his free one despite it not even remotely being in the way of his task. But he had to put his other hand somewhere, right?

In the meantime, the bigger elf took in a big silent breath when he felt the pale hand loop around his wrist. How that simple gesture almost made him drop to his knees begging for more was absolutely beyond him. He tried desperately to contain himself and let the smaller elf do his work.

But he had seen some of the tension he felt reflected in the other’s crimson eyes - and the delicate tenderness. And it was already fueling whatever feelings were starting to rise up within him. Halsin gently bit his lip again to keep from letting out noise as he watched Astarion lean closer to him, bundled up bandage in hand. He saw the furrowed brows, the straight nose, one of the white curls slowly sliding onto the vampire’s forehead as he leaned in to take a closer look at the gash.

The way the dim, warm light illuminated Astarion’s perfect features made the druid almost gasp. Nature had been ever so gentle and careful to make every last detail perfect when it had crafted him.

Then, with a lot of caution Astarion touched the makeshift swab drenched in liquor to the edge of Halsin's wound. Immediately, the big man winced despite trying to brace himself and recoiled from the vampire.

Astarion hissed when the druid clumsily took a step back, then clicked his tongue again. “For nothing this is all very dramatic behaviour, don’t you think?”, the vampire snarled and narrowed his eyes at Halsin. The awkwardness and whatever other delicate feelings had welled up during the silence before was forgotten for a moment.

And now even Halsin couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at Astarion - even though he was quite grateful for a break from the tension that had been forming.

Or maybe he wasn’t, he wasn’t sure about it at the moment. All he could be sure of, was that this unlike elf had an effect on him he didn’t fully understand yet.

“This is the third time you point that out now, Astarion. I admit, it’s not nothing, alright?”, the druid said with a sigh and rolled his shoulders to try and rid himself of some of the tension there. “And I’m grateful you’re helping me. Now please, continue?”

The vampire’s gaze slowly softened again and he remembered with a pang of guilt that he had been the one responsible for all of this happening in the first place when he had provoked an unnecessary fight. And Halsin had to be the one to get him out of it again.

Astarion swallowed down the sentiment and then went back to his task, taking a step once more towards Halsin who was already bracing himself again.

But when Astarion tried to continue the druid couldn’t help but wince and stumble backwards again. For whatever reason the druid who was normally used to patching up himself and not make a fuss about it was terribly sensitive today.

Maybe because the vampire’s presence was taking part of his usual unfaltering will power away to make him think about how good it would feel to be touched more by these delicate hands.

“Alright, I’ve had it now. Sit down!” Astarion hissed in a sudden fit of impatience and with both his hands reached up to push the much taller elf down by his shoulders.

Taken aback by the sudden briskness Halsin simply let it happen and obediently sat down on his bedroll next to him. Then he sat there awkwardly, leaning back on his hands to hold up his upper body, and legs slightly angled before him. 

Astarion knelt down beside him and threw the druid another glance that almost seemed to scold the taller, stronger and older elf for his insolent behaviour. And somehow that seemed to do the trick: when Astarion went back to try and clean the wound Halsin finally was able to endure the painful process. Small strained gasps were still leaving his lips while Astarion worked quickly but precisely to clean the cut.

The vampire’s free hand was on Halsin’s thigh now that was still clad in his leather pants to balance himself while was leaning over and around the druid’s upper body. Maybe that fact was also helping Halsin endure all this. Because he kept staring at the other man’s hand that was lightly and unconsciously squeezing his thigh now. And he suddenly felt himself focusing a lot more on how close Astarion’s long fingers were to…

“There, all done”, the vampire exclaimed cheerfully and leaned back on the balls of his feet.

Halsin let out a deep breath he hadn’t realised he was holding and with quite some desperation realised that the tension he had felt before had moved southwards and was now beginning to visibly strain against his leather pants.

With a cough the druid leaned over a little, trying to cover up his arousal by placing his massive arm in front of it.

Not that he would have needed to even try. The vampire was a keen observer and had immediately noticed the telltale bulge growing under his careful touch. Even though he might have almost missed it since he’d been very much distracted by his own growing arousal while he had kept his eyes fixed on the lower body of the wood elf moving fluidly with each breath he took - despite the pain running through him.

For a moment no one said a word as both men were seemingly overwhelmed with the tension they had created in the small space - and which seemed to become ever smaller the higher the emotions were boiling.

Astarion threw the piece of bandage away towards where he had placed down the bottle earlier while he kept eyeing the druid who was still awkwardly bent over: one leg stretched out straight, the other still angled. The vampire’s tongue darted out of his mouth to nervously wet his lips as he was trying to figure out where to go from here.

Meanwhile Halsin was doing very much the same. As much as he knew about Astarion’s past he wanted to be careful not to cross a line.

Hells, he wasn’t even fully sure if the rogue felt the same way about all of this. Although a voice in the back of Halsin’s head kept insisting that Astarion was here after all and hadn’t shied away. And somehow he couldn’t bring himself to believe that the vampire would have done all of this for any other of the companions.

But Halsin’s mind kept turning: trying to contain himself, trying to think of something to say, trying to voice his feelings in a way that wouldn’t drive the other man away, trying to decide what he was supposed to do.

He kept thinking desperately while no sound except for their breathing filled the small space.

Until the vampire took the decision upon himself.

Astarion looked the druid straight in the eye, chin held up proudly. “You want me to finish the job?”

Something enticing was glinting in the pale elf’s red eyes, something that immediately made Halsin’s now full blown erection ache with the need to be touched again - more and especially down there. It was clear now to the druid that his carnal reaction to Astarion’s touch and presence hadn’t gone unnoticed. But he didn’t even care anymore.

What he saw on the other man’s face was much more important right now.

It didn’t make it any easier to find the right words though.

“Dressing the wound, I mean”, Astarion replied while cocking his head with a lewd smile after some more time of the druid’s mind racing and coming up empty-handed. Halsin was frustrated and surprisingly pleased alike by how this man seemed to be able to make a complete mess out of him with barely doing anything at all.

And that must have been visible because a haughty grin stole onto the vampire’s face, until even his fangs were clearly visible and glinting in the low lantern light.

“Yes”, the druid pressed out and with some quick words instructed Astarion on how to use the salve before he leaned back on his hands again. Immediately, the vampire went to work, scooping some of the ointment out with his fingertips and then starting to spread it across the cleaned cut with his flat hands.

He looked right in the druid’s face now who couldn’t help but hold his gaze.

Astarion was sure of what to do now. Still not sure about if he would regret it later though. But he’d realised that an opportunity had presented itself: indulge in some pleasure. And one that was unprompted even. In fact, he was very much surprised at how quickly things had gotten heated. Obviously he felt more attracted and drawn to Halsin than he had let himself believe before. Maybe this didn’t even have to be about an ulterior motive. Maybe - just maybe - he could indulge just this once and just soak up some of the pleasure he desperately craved.

He was very much a hedonist after all. The vampire was keen to start to act on it.

His hands were still applying the salve, maybe wandering and lingering a bit - or even a lot - more than necessary.

Halsin in the meantime kept staring at the vampire - his eyes flicking from his face, his eyes, his lips to his hands that gently but teasingly took care of him. The druid didn’t hide anymore how much just this already turned him on. Both men knew now where all this would lead - an unspoken truth.

After finishing applying the balm, Astarion’s dexterous hands made quick work of wrapping bandages over the treated wound and around the druid’s body. He tied it off neatly to the side just like the druid instructed him to in a hoarse voice.

Then his hands lingered. Astarion looked straight into the eyes of the other man, taking in the larger elf’s face: the scars and the tattoo, the still parted lips, his eyes.

Meanwhile the vampire’s hands deliberately wandered over Halsin’s chiselled stomach, fingertips playfully stroking over the muscles while Astarion’s mouth fell open, tongue licking over his lips and he felt his own arousal between his legs ache.

But just before Astarion’s hands could stroke down to where both men desired it the most, Halsin broke the silence once more. Before a line would definitely be crossed, he needed to know. He needed to know that this was actually what the other man wanted.

“Astarion,” he said, barely able to keep a moan out of it “why are you here?”

The vampire’s hands immediately stopped, the promising glint in his eyes momentarily drowned by insecurity, worry and fear. But he caught himself quickly again.

“Why? Well, obviously you desperately needed my-”, the vampire began teasingly, repeating what he had said earlier.

“No - why are you really here?” Halsin asked. Suddenly it felt like he was in charge of the situation again and was not distracted by his attraction to the vampire anymore.

Astarion though felt put on the spot. His eyes dropped to the ground.

His first instinct usually would have been to snark at the druid. But something in the way the giant elf looked at him with such gentleness in his eyes made him stop. And even more, it drew a very unprompted confession from him.

“Because I- Because it looks like I care for you, druid”, the vampire admitted while his eyes found Halsin’s again. He’d found his confidence again.

And that was more than enough for Halsin.

He leaned forward and effortlessly grabbed the smaller elf. Dragging him onto his lap, the movement immediately caused both their erections to rub against each other - causing both to moan in desperate need.

Halsin drank up the vampire’s breathless groan by pressing his lips to Astarion’s. They met in a passionate, open-mouthed kiss. The druid’s tongue immediately slipped into the other man’s mouth, taking it in the frantic need to show Astarion how much he wanted him.

Halsin was leaning back now, laying down on his back, his hands holding the vampire by the hips and with that movement forcing the other to place his hands next to the druid’s head while leaning over him to keep going with the wild and messy kiss.

Another consequence of this change in position was that - being dragged there by Halsin’s strong hands - Astarion was very much grinding against the larger man. The vampire felt his own dick slide over the druid’s, his groin pressing pleasantly against the other man's despite the clothing being an annoying barrier between them.

The sensation turned the vampire on so much he had to break the kiss to arch his head and back in the heedless pleasure that was suddenly hitting him like a wave in a storm. How the slowly built up tension was so suddenly turned into an inferno was almost too much all at once.

The rogue sat up until he was straddling Halsin, trying to catch his breath, letting his thoughts catch up with his body. He stared at the druid and was pleasantly surprised to see a challenge glint in the druid’s face. Astarion’s lips turned upwards in a sensual smile. With this he could work - he was more than ready to meet the other head on.

While he supported himself with one hand on Halsin’s firm abs - careful not to touch the freshly dressed wound - he let the ball of his hand wander over first his own and then the other man’s erection. Thereby drawing a low growl from Halsin whose hands were pressing down harder on Astarion’s hips now and forcing him to grind against his hardened length again. The vampire just laughed haughtily as he enjoyed how easily he could turn the massive man into a mess.

Astarion let his hands wander over the druid's body, taking his time now, to let his fingertips explore the lines and ridges of Halsin's warm body. The body of a man that had lived a whole lifetime so far - and somehow still felt like a youngster now that he could barely contain his lust.

The wood elf was basically ready to perish under the hands of this man. He wasn't sure he was going to survive what would follow still. If the vampire kept going like this he might just come undone like this.

But he yearned so much for it, hungered for more. And as he looked upon Astarion’s perfect face while he was caressing his body so tenderly, he saw the same starvation in the vampire's eyes and knew what he had to do.

With impatience the druid’s hands began to tug on the other’s clothing, eager to get it off. To feel smooth cool skin on his warmer, rougher one. And since the vampire was just as eager after such a drawn out trade of nothing but touches, glances and gasps, they both made quick work of their remaining clothes and carelessly tossed them off towards the side.

Then, Astarion was back on the druid. He allowed himself a moment to take in the marvellous, gentle man beneath him, then he immediately grabbed for Halsin’s cock and worked it with as much care as he had used to clean and dress the wounds before: he was delicate, but firm and applied just the right amount of pressure as he squeezed and stroked. He rolled his hips just a little to get some friction in unison with the movements of his hand.

Immediately, breathless gasps and moans started to spill from the wood elf’s lips. The need was just too much - this would neither take long nor would it be very elegant.

Astarion moaned contentedly, letting his head fall back while he took pleasure in pumping the larger elf’s length and occasionally pressing it against his own.

He'd been so starved and only now realised it. Already he knew he would crave this again - this messy pleasure that wasn't an act. And more than this: the delightful softness, the careful reluctance and most of all: the tender man beneath him that somehow seemed to have looked through his defences down to his very core.

And who with no further questions asked, had decided to take it upon himself to care for this hurt and broken vampire.

Halsin was holding him steady while grabbing and squeezing his lover’s backside and finally sneaking one of his large hands around to carefully slide a finger into the vampire’s entrance. And then quickly a second one when he took in Astarion’s delighted and pleased reaction of being teased like this.

He took him so well and a hellishly wicked grin was splitting the druid’s face now while Astarion gasped when he felt the deft caress. He repaid Halsin with his head lolling back, eyes closed while an expression of blissful pleasure took over his face. It made him even more beautiful, Halsin found, as he kept up his movements and the vampire worked his cock harder.

It wouldn’t be an awfully long act that much had been sure from the beginning. But when the druid was almost spent he was desperate to draw out the pleasure even a bit more. And much more important than that: make sure that the vampire would get his fair share in it too.

Halsin withdrew his fingers causing Astarion to sigh in frustration at the sudden loss. But when the druid effortlessly lifted him up again and positioned his cock - still in the vampire’s skilfull caress - at his entrance, the frustration was quickly turned into exhilaration again.

“Alright?”, Halsin pressed out while he let Astarion hover above him, pressing only the glistening top against the vampire’s entrance - being patient despite all his primal instincts screaming at him to take the other man and take whatever else he wanted.

But he needn’t wait long: the vampire eagerly nodded in agreement, removed his hand and rewarded the large elf with a sharp intake of breath when he took the druid to the hilt in one smooth movement.

The vampire’s head lolled back again as he tried to get used to the overwhelming sensation of the druid inside of him. He’d figured he’d be more than a handful and was delighted to feel pleasantly filled. Astarion’s own cock twitched again and again as jolts of pleasure ran through him just from the feeling of the druid being buried deep inside of him. Halsin watched this all with content delight while he himself was biting his lip in pleasure from the vampire clenching around his hardness. The tent was filled with groans and gasps while both of them were breathing heavily - barely able to endure the pleasure that this night had become.

But finally getting to where he needed to be so desperately had set the druid on a path that would reach its end inevitably and soon - although it would be unbelievably pleasant for both of them. He lifted the smaller elf up again until he had almost fully withdrawn, looking right into his partner’s red eyes as Astarion’s mouth formed a silent “O”.

For a moment he held him there, tasting the delicious tension and delighting in the feeling of strings stretched so far they were almost snapping on their own.

Then he let him slam down onto him again. Just this one movement being almost enough to send both men over the edge and into oblivion. Halsin repeated the motions and settled for a steady rhythm that Astarion slowly took over until it was him riding the druid, face lifted to the heavens, clenching around him time and again to draw more of Halsin’s desperate, carnal reactions out of the larger elf. It became wild, vicious almost - as the vampire felt that he was free to take what he wanted from the druid. The looks Astarion threw him with half-lidded eyes made Halsin almost feral as well.

The druid moved his arms so he was holding his lover on top of him with just one arm. With his free hand he reached for Astarion’s cock and gently started to stroke it while the pale elf kept riding him, unapologetically chasing his own high.

The vampire gasped, his head snapping back as he received even more of the other man’s affectionate and passionate attention. With the vampire eagerly continuing to drive them both up towards the stars the druid didn’t need to do much to stroke Astarion in a way that had him furrow his brows and tense even more in pleasure. With a slightly adjusted angle the rogue was almost thrusting into Halsin’s hand, enjoying his firm hand squeezing around him.

When had been the last time someone had taken care of him like this - Astarion couldn’t even remember. He was almost senseless already with pleasure and bliss. It must have been centuries since he’d been able to let himself go like this.

Not long after, Halsin felt how Astarion’s movements became ragged, uncontrolled while he became even more vocal than before - his mouth was wide open now, sharp fangs glinting in lantern light. Halsin tightened his grip on the vampire’s dick and deliberately bucked his hips upwards to push in even deeper and his lover over the edge while he himself felt how he lost grip. The vampire rewarded him with a small unwilling yelp while pleasure whipped through him with full force.

And then Astarion unravelled first: coming with his cock twitching in the druid’s hand, spilling over him while breathlessly crying out Halsin’s full name as if pleading.

His name off Astarion’s tongue was the last drop that had been needed. With a guttural growl Halsin followed his lover already drifting up towards the stars, bucking his hips a final time, to be buried as deep inside his partner as possible when he lost himself.

While both were still trying to catch their breath, Astarion rolled off Halsin to lay next to him. Immediately the druid carefully wrapped an arm around the vampire. He let it happen and snuggled up a bit to the larger man, careful still to not put too much pressure on the wound.

And so they just laid there: breathless, drained - but deeply comfortable and joyous.

Astarion was still surprised how easily and effortlessly the druid made him feel comfortable, stripped all his worries away - Hells, he even made him cuddle after the sex. But he was way too pleasantly exhausted to think about it more, he just enjoyed the warm comfort of the druid’s massive arms around him.

And the druid enjoyed the trust and the company he hadn’t dared to hope for.

“Well,” Halsin breathed out after a long while of lying in companionable silence “thanks for lending me a hand, Astarion.”

The vampire simply chuckled softly.

“I think you’ve repaid me in like, so thank you as well”, he replied with just an edge of teasing in his tone.

They shortly looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they both laughed softly. And just enjoyed each other’s company - while healing worked its magic on the both of them.

Tag list: @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @hereliesblackdragon

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #fanfiction #bg3 spoilers #halsin #halsin silverbough #halstarion #bloodhoney #ursa minor #halsin x astarion #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x halsin

[janeyseymour]

La Cosa Nostra- pt 15

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Part 13. Part 14.

cowritten with @schemmentis - we're gonna try to revive this story, and y'all better buckle up because it's gonna get so good

WC: 3.1k

You manage to get the girls up and fed before Melissa stirs on the couch. It must be a groggy Schemmenti morning considering the girls haven’t swarmed her and woken her up themselves nor asked you why Mommy was sleeping on the couch all weekend. You gently shake at your wife’s shoulder once the girls have their shoes on, remembering how upset she’d been when you’d taken them to school without waking her. Plus, you don’t exactly feel generous and worried about making sure she gets enough rest after your fight. 

You roll your eyes at her groggy ‘what’ when she cracks her eyes open. “Your daughters want to say good morning and goodbye, is what.” You mutter, stepping aside and wave the twins the okay to hurry to Melissa.

You step back towards the front door as Melissa kisses them each multiple times. Tuning out the goodbyes and I love yous. You’d thought after not speaking aside from the essentials over the weeknd you might feel less upset; you don’t. It’s the same as before you went to sleep the night you fought. Mel’s decision over you, her standing by it, and worst of all her hitting you in all the worst places. You can’t let any of it go, not first, anyway.

You force a deep breath when you feel your little girls running back to your side, opening the front door. “Let’s go, littles, before you’re late.” You mutter as you usher them out.

“You didn’t kiss Mommy again,” Rosie states once you get into the car.

“We were running late,” is all your response is. 

Once you’ve seen them off to their class safely, you leave the girls’ school. Your eyes roll when you hear your cell phone ring for the third time in the short trip to drop them off. You know without looking it’s Tony just like it was the last two times, no doubt to ask again for the ledger which you still have no intention of giving him directly. You don’t trust Tony as far as you could throw him. Still, you know you’d better have it in hand soon for when he produces whoever he answers to. It wouldn’t be good for that to happen and you to not have it.

You sigh as you slip back into the car. Which means you probably have to break your silent streak with your wife and ask her to talk to Barbara to get it back. You really don’t want to do that though. Your pride and your stubbornness wants you to hold out for Melissa to at least admit she was being an asshole the other night. Even if she won’t admit she was wrong about the rest of it. 

You don’t have Barbara’s number but you do know where she’ll eventually turn up. You pull the car from the school lot, driving to the church. If Mel intends to be in early at the restaurant today; you don’t feel that bad about making her walk this time.

You slip in just after the morning service. Thankfully, you still spy Barbara’s head in the usual back pew. You genuflect at the side, crossing your chest before slipping into the seat next to the older woman- the one your wife would usually claim.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Barbara greets you quietly once her head raises from her prayer. “Another bit of prayer needed, hm?”

“A little bit.” You hedge. You’re not fully lying; you do think it might bring some relief after your fight with Melissa. Which, now that you’re sat next to her, you realize you may have overlooked your wife telling Barb all about. “I was also hoping to see you.” You add.

“Oh? Well, that’s sweet of you. You know I’m always glad to see you or Melissa and your girls in the Lord’s house.”

You flash a smile, one you’ve flashed the Feds and other Family members alike to be as charming as you can. “You know our whole family is always happy to see you. Especially the girls.”

“Oh, I can’t wait for next weekend. They were positively a joy at Sunday breakfast, yesterday. Though you and Melissa were rather quiet.”

“It was…a long week, last week.” You admit. “Mel and I haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye lately.” You hadn’t meant to share that last part but you lean into letting it off your chest in some way, at least.

“I’m sure you two will sort it out. You always do.”

“I hope so.” You answer truthfully. You might still be angry, and definitely hurt, but you still love Melissa with all of you. You hope the fact she’s been dealing with being relegated to the couch for a few days is a sign she still feels the same, too. Since she hasn’t disappeared to her Ma’s or even Kristen Marie’s.

“Are things okay between the two of you? Would you like to chat about it, perhaps over brunch?” Barbara offers.

You take her up on that offer, and you find yourself bringing her back to your house- just in case the Feds are still watching you. You mill about the kitchen as you prepare a few things before settling at the table with her.

“So,” Barbara hums. “What’s got you turning up at church more often than usual lately- both you and your wife?”

“Could use a bit more prayer these days,” you sigh softly as you take a bite full of your breakfast.

“You didn’t pray today though,” the woman points out. You just shrug at that. “So what made you really come to the church?”

You throw around the options in your head. You could break your silent streak and speak with Melissa, or you could ask the woman herself for the ledger.

Deciding to bite the bullet, you say softly, “I was hoping I would run into you. I need the book that I know Melissa gave you.”

Barbara blinks once, twice. “What book, dear?”

“Barb, I know Mel gave you the book for my salon.”

The woman’s face flickers through quite a few emotions before settling on a neutral face once again. “Oh. I still don’t know what you’re speaking of? What your wife gave me was not a book.”

“Babs, I need the goddamn book,” you sigh.

“Do not take the lord’s name in vein,” Barbara tells you sternly.

“Barbara, I need the damned book. My life is on the line here,” you plead. You don’t mean for that last sentence to slip out, and you have to do everything you can to hide it on your face; the severity of the situation. For all she knows, you’re exaggerating and just using it as a hyperbole.

“And why would that be?” Barbara raises a brow. “It’s just the simple finances for the salon.”

“It is,” You hastily agree with her comment. “But I…” You take a breath, forcing out the familiar lie you gave Valentina when she first noticed Melissa’s extra stress, just modified a bit. “I’m trying to work out selling the salon so I need the book with all the finances in it to go through with a potential buyer.”

“Selling it?” Barbara repeats, a hand pressing to her chest. “Why on earth would you sell? You’ve worked hard for that place, Y/N!”

“I know but it hasn’t been profitable since…well, since I don’t even know when, Barb. I thought I could juggle it and put it back in proper working condition but the clients just aren’t coming in like they used to.”

Barbara suddenly drops the hand at her chest held in shock. “Y/N, surely you know I’m no fool.”

You blink. “Of course you’re not, Barbara. Why would I think you were—”

“The book I have is not for your salon.”

“Yes, it is.” You say, brow furrowing in confusion. Because it is for the salon, both books, and you don’t know what else Barb could think it belongs to.

The older woman sends you a long suffering look, the silence between you drawing out for a moment. “Not for the legal business of your salon though, is it?”

Your face drops. Like, actually drops- jaw open and everything. “What?”

“I’m well aware of what I possess,” the woman tells you in a monotone.

“Shit.”

“What on Earth are the two of you thinking; getting mixed up in all of this- and with your two girls!” Barbara admonishes you sharply, and you feel like you’re being reprimanded by a principal.

You search for words, but none come.

“You two are so lucky I haven’t turned it in, and I nearly did!”

“Y-you didn’t?” you whisper out. 

“Of course I didn’t, and the only reason I didn’t is because of Cat and Rosie!” Barb states. “Otherwise, I would have!”

“I- thank you,” you say softly.

“The two of you better get yourselves out of this mess, before it destroys your lives,” the woman tells you lowly.

“The only way out of this mess is prison… or death,” you inform her. “And at this point, if either of us goes to prison, or something happens to Mel, I genuinely fear I won’t survive. When it comes down to everything, Melissa is the matriarchal figure in the family.”

“Neither of those things can happen,” Barbara tells you. “And that is not true- the both of you have the most equal partnership I think I’ve ever seen.”

“Listen, I really do need the ledger back,” you try again.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Barbara.”

“Your wife entrusted me with it, and while I do not agree with what I hold onto in the slightest, I am not breaking my promise to Melissa.”

“I’m sure she told you not to open the book though, right?” you press. At her nod, you continue. “You broke that promise. So, give. me. the. book.”

“I have to go,” Barbara states. “Thank you for a lovely breakfast.” She makes to head out, and you follow her.

“Barbara!”

She climbs into her car, and speeds off. 

You’re left standing on the porch of your townhouse, staring after Barbara’s car even after it’s definitely peeled its way out of your neighborhood. You honestly didn’t know she could drive that fast. Melissa loves to call her a grandma whenever she drives the lot of you anywhere. Barbara would throw back that it was only being safe and God forbid she get into a wreck because your wife wouldn’t stop back-seat driving. 

“Fuck.” You curse, briefly covering your face. “Fuck!” You repeat as you pull your hands away. You lean back into the doorway just enough to grab your keys from the hook by the door. You slam your front door shut, not even bothering to take the time to lock it. You won’t catch Barb at this rate, but you’re fairly certain you can catch your wife. 

You’re certain, at least relatively so, Barb won’t turn you both in. Not if she hasn’t already. But it sure sounded like she was just waiting for Melissa to ask for the book to confront her herself first. You just happened to ask before your wife. You know though Barb isn’t likely to be going to Twelve Tables to have that confrontation with Melissa. So, instead, you are.

You speed your way there, not really worried about the reds or stop lights or any possibility of getting pulled over. A ticket was nothing compared to what all hung in the balance now. You make your way into the restaurant as fast as your feet will carry you.

“Hey, Y/N, how’s—”

“Not now Val,” You interrupt your wife’s right hand. “Where’s Mel?”

“She’s in the back, but—”

You wave a hand at her, muttering a half hearted ‘thank you’ as you hurry through the kitchen toward the back office. You don’t even stop to worry about knocking at the closed office door. You’re throwing it open with practically all your weight behind it in your haste that has you stumbling into the room.

“Mel, we need to—”

“What the fuck?” Melissa grouses at the slamming open of the office door. Her mood doesn’t exactly improve when she looks up to see you, a glare from green eyes sent your way. “I’m in the middle of a meeting.” She says, the end of it coming through her clenched teeth with a nod to the man standing at the desk in the office with her.

“I really need to talk to you. Right now.” You rush out.

“Ya don’t talk to me all weekend, and now ya want to? Now? I told ya, I’m in a meeting. Get out.”

“Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti!” You nearly yell, stepping into the office and gripping her wrist and fighting to physically pull your wife from the office.

“God…damn it. Fine!” Melissa huffs, agreeing to go once she realizes you aren’t going to let her actually work until she does. “‘Scuse me a minute.” She says to the man before following you out of the office and shutting the door after her. “What the fuck is so damn important you have to try and literally pull me from work? One of the girls’ better be hurt or the world better be endin’, so help me God, or it’s gonna be you on the couch now, Y/N!”

“Our world might be ending,” you sigh quietly, eyes down. Then your eyes meet her own. “Barbara knows.”

The redhead has the same face that you wore when Barbara revealed that she knows what she possesses. “What?”

“Do you see why it’s so important now?” you ask her.

“Fuck. Fucking shit.” She runs a hand through her hair. “We’re fucked. We’re going down, and we’re taking all of-“

“She said she hasn’t turned us in because of the girls,” you whisper. “But we have to figure out what to do before something terrible happens to either us, or Barb and Gerald. They cannot get involved.”

“Fuck!” Melissa shouts.

“I know,” you sigh. “I know. I- I don’t know what to do.”

“How do you know she knows?” your wife implores.

“I was at the church earlier,” you tell her. And you recount the earlier events before, “and then she told me that the binder wasn’t for the legal side of the salon. She knows.”

“God dammit,” Melissa whispers. She runs a hand over her face. “Fuck. Okay, uhm… let me handle this meeting, and then I’ll meet you at home so we can figure out what to do.”

“I’ll be sitting in the back waiting for you,” you tell her. “And don’t forget that we do have to pick up the girls today.”

“I know,” she says. “I know. Okay. We’re gonna- we’re gonna be fine, and I- fuck.” You watch as red curls whip around and head back into the office.

With a sigh, you head for the back exit again. Valentina looks at you curiously, but you don’t acknowledge it. You just continue on your way. You pull your car closer to the back door, idling as you wait for your wife. She’s quickly slipping into the passenger seat in less than five minutes.

As you pull out of the lot of Twelve Tables and head towards your home once more, Melissa runs her hand through her hair as she glances at the clock. “Okay, we still have a few hours before we have to get the girls, so we can figure this out.”

“Figure this out?” You echo, glancing at Melissa. “Babe, we have what, four hours? We’re gonna figure this all out and fix everything in four hours?

“It’s just Babs.” She says, trying to convince the both of you. It’s clear she knows how much power her church friend holds at this moment, and it terrifies her. She takes a deep breath, rolling the passenger window down enough for wind from the drive to whip her red locks out of her face. “She didn’t turn us in because of the girls…we can, we can buy time.”

“How? How are we gonna buy any time?” you implore. “We got the Feds still digging into shit; who knows what part of the Family they’re eyeing right now? But it doesn’t matter. Any part of it goes, you know the rest is screwed.”

“That’s only if somebody flips. Nobody would flip.”

You take the risk of holding your eyes off the road a little longer than you should to give your wife a look. You both could likely think of ten people each from your respective sides that could, under the right circumstances, absolutely flip.”

“Fuck, I know!” She says, waving your glare away from her as she looks out the passenger side window. “Look, they ain’t got anywhere yet, huh? That means we still got time. We just need to make sure Barb really ain’t gonna do nothin’.”

“She wouldn’t talk to me past tellin’ me she promised you to only give it back to you and then that she knew.”

“Oh, sure, she can stick to that part of the damn promise.” Melissa grumbles as she gets out nearly before you can put the car in park in the driveway. She turns back just as you catch up to her on the front porch. “Ya didn’t even lock the door! Aduzipach!”

“We do not have time for another argument!” You toss back as you reach the top step, gently ushering her inside with you as you pull the door shut again. This time you do lock it behind you. “We have to be on the same page, okay? We really have to be or we’re definitely screwed. I’m still pissed, and hurt but whatever. It doesn’t matter right now. Right now what matters is you, and me, and the girls. That’s all that matters, which means we have to figure a way out of this bullshit.”

“Amore, you know there’s only two ways out of the life. Neither one lets us be there for the girls- at all.”

“And both I’d preferably like to avoid entirely.” You add, sighing as you slump into your couch. “So..w we have to literally do the impossible.”

“I don’t know how we’re going to do that,” Melissa groans as she leans into your figure.

Barbara Howard speeds off, and she doesn’t necessarily know where she’s going. But after a bit, she figures that you aren’t following her, and she stops at a local diner to pick up takeout for a lunch date with her husband, the senator.

TAGS: @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

#melissa schemmenti fanfiction #melissa schemmenti fanfic #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #abbott elementary #abbott elementary fanfiction #abbott elementary fanfic #melissa schemmenti

[sionnaach]

“What is happening?”

Nico slinks up beside Percy, who is sitting with Annabeth and watching a group of campers dancing out on the open grass.

There's country music playing from somewhere. What is going on.

“Line dancing.” Percy informs him with a grin, still watching the crowd. “Will was teaching the younger Apollo kids. Now half the camp is involved.”

Half the camp might be an overstatement, but the number is slowly growing as more campers wander over to see what’s going on.

“What.”

Nico cranes his neck. Sure enough, a familiar head of blonde curls is standing nearly a head above the rest of the campers (Will had another growth spurt that summer and finally broke six foot. He also was not about to let Nico forget it), as the head medic (and now dance instructor, apparently) guides the small gathering through a set of simple, repetitive steps.

He throws in a couple of high energy jumping, spinning movements with a laugh that earn him a slap on the arm from Kayla, who had been trying her best to follow her older brother until that moment.

Nico is in disbelief as it dawns on him; Will can dance. Talented a healer Will may be, the son of Apollo is famously, catastrophically - and those are his own words - lacking in the department of his father’s creative talents. Nico has watched Will trip over the ground, his own feet, and honest to Gods thin air more times than he can count and yet here, as the music changes to something a bit more upbeat, Nico realises that Will is showing off, with a series of complicated movements that only a few other kids, who have evidently done this before, can keep up with. Even Nico, with all his battle training, has trouble following.

Will looks up and catches his eye. Nico didn't think the smile on his tanned, freckle-covered face could get any brighter, but it does. Will waves to them, says something to Kayla, then jogs over.

“Hey!” Will passes a glance over Percy and Annabeth, but when his blue eyes meet Nico's, they don't stray. Nor does the bright, eager smile on his face.

Nico can hear the muffled laughter from his friends.

His ears are burning.

“Would y'all like to join in rather than just standin’ around?” Will asks, a little breathless. His eyes never leave Nico, even though the question is clearly directed at all of them.

Nico feels a little breathless, too.

“Nico would!” Percy says with far too much enthusiasm, and shoves Nico’s leg, right in the joint of his knee, sending him stumbling directly into Will’s arms as Will reaches out to steady him.

“Woah, careful.” Will grips his arms, voice low as he helps Nico to right himself while his heart does a series of complicated movements of its own.

Nico can feel goosebumps where Will is touching him, and he jumps back like he had been electrocuted. He turns to Percy with a near-murderous glare. Percy smiles serenely back.

“I don’t dance.” Nico answers flatly, directed more at the son of Poseidon, but behind him, he hears Will scoff.

“Bullshit, di Angelo. I’ve seen you sword fighting.”

“Yeah, Nico. And what is sword fighting, if not an elaborate dance between two - or more, in this case - people?” Percy adds helpfully, elbow on his knee and chin resting in his hand. He has the audacity to waggle his eyebrows at him.

“Exactly. Thank you, Percy.” Will is grinning, blissfully ignorant to the blatant ribbing occurring before him. Percy waves his hand and ducks his head with a smug smile.

“I think it would be fun.” Annabeth adds innocently, and Nico gives her a look of utter betrayal. He was expecting this from Percy, but has been hoping that Annabeth would have some sympathy towards him. She meets his eyes with a smile, before looking to her boyfriend. “We’ll join in a bit, Will. You two get started.”

Will shoots her a pair of finger guns, because of course he does. “I’m holdin' you to that.”

(“Will we?” Percy asks her, once they’re out of earshot

Annabeth grins. “No.”)

Still glaring daggers at his friends for their treachery, Nico feels a brush against his arm, and he looks down to see Will’s hand retreating. Looking up, the head of the Apollo cabin is watching him with a soft, hopeful expression.

“Coming?”

Nico groans internally. Damn Will and his stupid puppy eyes and damn him and his Stupid, Enormous Crush. He looks up at the sky, and sends a quick prayer to his father and any other god who might be listening to smite him now before he makes an even bigger fool of himself, because he just can’t say no to this boy, can he?

He sighs and resigns himself to his fate when nothing happens.

“Fine.”

With a smile that is nearly blinding, Will reaches back out to grab Nico’s arm, and all but drags him towards the crowd.

#solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #percy jackson #annabeth chase #pjo #pjo hoo toa #riordanverse #plagued by visions fr #I might write a second part with Actual Dancing if I can figure out How To Write Line Dancing #Will was doing the Fake ID linedance btw #yes from Footloose (2011)

[villainessxassassin]

Hello and how are y'all doing? If the requests are still open for me, I was hoping to ask for a similar request as a previously written one about Grim pushing an easygoing and patient fem s/o to the point of grounding him in front of Lilia, Riddle, Epel and Jade? Figured that'd be fine. If not, then that's okay too. I can only imagine Riddle being surprised because s/o is normally the calmest and most down-to-earth out of the two. Not today, Grim. Idk thought it'd be cute. Please and thank you :)

Seperate! Riddle, Lilia, Epel and jade x reader

Part 1 here -> ft Malleus, Ruggie, Kalim, Vil, Leona

warnings: none unless you count grim abuse, cough.

Riddle always saw you as the calm and collected one out of the group, so imagine his suprise when he saw grim almost cowering in a corner after he just witnessed your sweet smile disappear after what seemed to be the final straw for you.

You'd expect him to be disappointed that he saw you in such an indecent state, but what came was the opposite. If anything, he was nothing but impressed you were even able to hold out that long with such a troublemaker like grim as your companion.

Grim crossed the line resulting in you giving him the consequences of his actions so he had it coming, a very valid response in Riddle's eyes (his eyes are sparkling btw). He might also even take turns in giving grim some well needed discipline.

Will encourage you to show this side of you more but only when necessary because he doesn't want you too keep all that pent up frustration to yourself, no matter how easy going or calm you are.

And he'll surely collar grim the next time he makes your calm exterior break.

He'll be making the 😶☺️ face if he catches you breaking off from the calm y/n you portray infront of others.

You sound angry, so it's only reasonable he waits until you finish, but if he's feeling in the mood he might discreetly add more fuel to the fire just to see what more reactions he's able to pull out of you.

Curious, a word he finds himself associating with you often. What else are you hiding? Which emotions are how you truly feel? Have you been suppressing them all this time for it to all just finally break?

All he had to do was use his unique magic and he can get the answers directly from you if he wanted, but that wouldn't be fun, so why not poke you a few more times and see how you'll react to his different schemes.

Overall, he doesn't really mind that you have this side to you. As entertaining as it is he also knows when not to cross the line. He'll indulge himself whenever the time comes, just as much as he enjoys the sweet, sweet calm y/n that he knows and loves.

He's kinda scared but at the same time he really can't decide if he should interfere before things escalate more quickly or just stand there in awe while he applauds you a thousand times over in his head. (he actually did the latter first before going onto the former😭)

In fact he doesn't even know why he should be amazed at all when grim already looked like he was about to pass out.

He just thinks you look and sound so cool right now? The way you switched up from all gentle smiles to the fed up look you had on right now just has his blood pumping.

Has newfound respect for you. I mean he already respected you alot before but it's just more different, even more meaningful now you can say.

Epel is a very (in some cases it's not there but in most cases yes) gentle person too, so seeing you have this side to yourself eases his spirits since he atleast now knows he doesn't have to be all dainty and charming all the time.

Just watches the scene unfold, doesn't do anything, doesn't plan on doing anything, he just wants to watch honestly.

He'll feign a Suprise look at your sudden outburst when grim finally dropped your last cup of patience. I really just see him standing there trying to contain the small smile that's creeping up his face.

Whether he's smiling at grim's despair or this new side of you it all really depends, but you can be positive that he's happy your getting it off your chest instead of extending whatever's left of your spilled patience.

Humans really are quite the spectacle and fascination, so he will observe a little while longer before deciding when grim has had enough. He'll give little words of comfort to grim but they are nothing compared to the intense gaze you had, but it was the least he could do.

And now he shall indulge himself in teasing you for the rest of the day, mentioning how cute you looked akin to a little kid loosing it's temper.

✧

covering up for Guinevere until she finishes the request she's working on ehe- kishira

what I write is quite long guys that’s why its taking so long TT- Guinevere

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #Twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x you #twst headcanons #riddle rosehearts x reader #Lilia vanrouge x reader #Jade leech x reader #epel felmier x reader

[keyh0use]

Ward's voice cuts through the charged atmosphere like a knife through warm butter, only less pleasant. Conversations momentarily pause as guests follow the sound, curious eyes landing on the Cameron patriarch before seeking out Rafe in the crowd, standing frozen beside his small group of friends. "I'll be right back," mumbles Rafe, addressed directly to Barry. The dealer gives a bored nod. "Yup, be waitin' on ya'," he says. Without further notice, Rafe swiftly leaves the circle to join his waiting father, shaking hands with older businessmen while effortlessly slipping into conversation with them. "Really?" Topper asks in disbelief, brows drawn and forehead creased as he watches Barry watch Rafe.

Barry takes a sip of the expensive alcohol he's been nursing for the last half hour, cringing once more at the bitter taste. "Don't know what you're on about," he answers.

Both kooks turn to face one another in sync, the blonde's hand curled around Kelce's wrist. "I must leave you, my love," professes Topper dramatically, giving his friend a sickeningly sweet look, all wide-eyed.

"I'll await your return with bated breath, my sweet prince." Kelce caresses Topper's cheek with his knuckles, before whispering scene, the two turning back to face barry.

"That's what you and Rafe sound like to us," informs Topper.

Barry hisses, "Like hell—"

"Just admit you're in love with Rafe, you should feel proud you might have a smidgen of a chance to date up," Topper continues, cutting the other man off without care. "Shut up," snaps Barry, head on a swivel as he scans the crowd for any obvious eavesdroppers. Kelce interrupts the inevitable bickering bound to follow to say, "I kinda agree, bro. Not with the classist comment—Topper—but maybe you could...oh, I don't know, give Rafe a hint, at least." "Nah, told y'all already to cut that shit out," Barry firmly replies, jaw tensing as he repeats the same pathetic truth for the dozenth time: "He don't feel that way 'bout me, aight?" Topper's laugh is obnoxious and explosive, taking both men off guard. "Is that what you think? I mean, really?"

"Dude," Kelce chides quietly, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

"Oh right." The blonde rubs at the sore spot with a grimace before fixing his attention back on Barry, sarcastically saying, "Rafe feels completely normal about you."

The dealer grapples for a response, rolling the now empty glass between fingers by the long stem. Confessing how he feels has been a topic of discussion with the annoying kooks for several months now, the two hounding him on Rafe's boat or in some obscure corner at a house party the moment he's left alone, like little well-dressed vultures.

Usually it's tolerable, sometimes even amusing but right now, surrounded by wealthy families and Rafe's whole damn family—Barry's tailored suit starts to feel too tight, the collar choking him out and sweat collecting in warm spots.

Barry's startled out of his thoughts by an arm being slung over his shoulders.

"Hey," Rafe greets his friends first, then tilts his chin down to talk to Barry. "Hey, so that fucking sucked. Told dad we were just leaving before he called me over, so we're good to go, if you wanna..."

"Yeah. Yup, let's get outta here," Barry answers immediately, not bothering to say goodbye to Topper and Kelce before dragging his boy towards the front entrance to gather their coats.

Once Barry and Rafe are out of earshot, Topper turns to grab Kelce by the front of his purple button-up. "This will never end! They're going to pine over one another forever and we'll have to listen to it," he complains.

"I know, buddy, I want Rafe to be happy too."

"What? No, that's not it," Topper dismisses. "I just don't want to be trapped with Rafe out on the ocean, listening to him drunkenly drone on and on about what he wants to do to Barry's face again. Here's a hint: it got progressively less PG the more he drank."

#topper and kelce are the biggest rafebarry shippers #kelce because he loves rafe and genuinely likes barry #topper because nothing brings him more joy than watching rafe squirm and he likes saying he knows a drug dealer #this comes from a document I've titled scraps of writing #where as the name suggests I keep scraps of writing that don't have a home in any fic #I have so many of these #I feel bad for them just sitting there #I <3 dialogue #can you tell? #barry x rafe #rafe cameron #rafe x barry #rafebarry #rafe obx #barry (obx) #barry obx

[wild-wombytch]

So. I'm still new to radical feminism and still in the middle of my peak trans, so I'm trying to be careful with my critical thinking and tonight I genuinely wondered about that injunction that feminism must by default ve trans inclusive. Because does it, really? What do trans people actually bring on the table for feminism? Or are they only beneficiary/exploitative of feminism without bringing on anything in return but misogynistic anon hate? I wondered "hey, if "trans women are women" is a true statement, then what is statistically the involvement of trans women in women's rights? In abortion's rights? In thing that allegedly concern womanhood even if it doesn't concern them personally?"

Because I'm a lesbian and chances are I'll never need an abortion in my whole life. Hell, due to personal reasons, I'd have more chances to want to keep my pregnancy going if I had to have one because I might not be able handle abortion psychologically. Yet, I'm fighting for every woman to be able to have an abortion, to have that choice. Even if more likely than not it doesn't effect me as an individual as much as it effects me as a woman. Because women always have to bear the weight of all the women's rights anyway, we get little privileges in terms of individuation in comparison to men. So I wondered -genuinely, in good faith- if trans women were feeling the weight of this as well or if it was going to be full male "not my problem, don't care" entitlement. And ladies. Let me offer some more exhibit (I swear these are all the first results I had for TWO different wordings on Google):

So let's do the midnight/mushbrain quick unpacking of this :

- No stats

- No arguments, we're supposed to accept trans women benefit feminism because They Said So™

- Lots of vitriolic takes on anyone questioning it ("cruel" "appropriative of the rhetoric of women's rights" that "inflict life-threatening harm on trans people"-lol-, "narrowly interpreting a statement", "bigoted", "anti feminist", weakening feminism)

- Many of those are made by trans women and also denying biological reality [not surprising, BUT an argument of TRAs is that most trans people believe in bio sex...despite hating radfems, somehow]

- It's so focused on pushing the trans activism, trying to prove that trans women don't have male privileges (an idea in these examples often defended by...other males) and that uwu but transwomen experience misogyny too uwu + trying so hard to prove us that there's no threat to women's rights here whatsoever. Nope. None. Please, look elsewhere. That it doesn't answer my question directly.

And by that lack of answer I ironically found it. It's male centered. It's gaslighting us in believing women's rights are ok and NEED trans activism (cause women need saviors and haven't been handling feminism themselves on their own and under hatred all of these centuries, y'know /s?). Nobody cares about women's rights here. It's not based on facts, it's all based on the fact we should blindly believe what TiM say. That including them will benefit us somehow and that it's not male violence because they identify as women so they allegedly can't reproduce male violence. All that while packaging disagreement from female feminists in diverse degrees of insults and misogyny and misinformation...say again how there's no trans agenda here and how it's not like, oh, I don't know, literal male entitlement and narcissism?

Anyway, I'm too sleepy to dig further but by all means, please do if you want to add something.

Just, I'm new to this and this is already pretty exhausting. To think a lot of you have been radfems for years...istg y'all are braver than honeybadgers (complimentary). Literally all the online communities now cater to them and throw us under the bus when we raise questions. It's male privileges benefiting males over females.

Exhibit 4852 about why radfems/gender criticals are right.

#anyways. #tras are mras #radical feminism #radblr #radblr safe #sex not gender #terfsafe #terfblr #radfem safe #gender critical #smash the patriarchy #transgenderism #terf safe #terf please interact #radfem please interact #radical feminists please touch #libfem bullshit

[ngame989]

One Last Starco Sucker Punch

Hey y'all, @seddm was too much of a coward to post this but I'm bored so it's time to light one last fire before I skedaddle on to greener pastures for real. Back in Sept 2022, there was an anniversary Q&A with Daron, Adam, and a few others. One response in particular from Daron is, frankly, so mindboggling that even this many years after my very vocal frustrations with S4 in particular, it still managed to shock me in a new and terrible way.

"In your headcanon what are the characters doing after the finale?"

I'll say, I do imagine that Star and Marco are happy wherever they end up in the future, and I do in some ways kind of see them possibly- you know, hey if they're together, if they're not together, maybe they'll get back together- they're very young. That was always something too that I've had some reservation about, because they do have this really lovely romance where they really come together as this like, you know, two characters who just really love each other but are these two good friends but they are really young and, hey. Most people should not actually get together with the people they meet in highschool, so that's... yeah. But I like to think that eventually maybe they come back and they're happy... but I don't know! I don't know where we might go exactly and I don't wanna say 'cause- if that happens I want the option to not have everybody yell at me if I change my mind about something.

Ahem.

So you're telling me you submitted an episode for an Annie nomination entirely about how the main characters couldn't just go back to normal friends anymore, did it AGAIN via magical asspull in S4 because the tension was impossible to stall off any longer otherwise, DIRECTLY concluded that even that magical asspull meant nothing because it was all real the whole time, and then DEDICATED HALF THE FINALE to how momentous and important Star and Marco's journey had been, but maybe they break up because kids do that sometimes????

Can you fucking imagine a murder mystery that builds up for years and they FINALLY solve the case and arrest the murderer, and then the creator says "well maybe the jury finds them innocent and they're not convicted, who knows, that happens sometimes! The justice system is weird like that!" Well you don't have to imagine, because I've (BARELY) modified the above answer for just that context!

"In your headcanon what does the future look like for the serial killer after they're finally caught?" "I'll say, I do imagine that they'll probably get punished, and I do in some ways kind of see them possibly- you know, hey if they get convicted, if they don't get convicted, maybe they'll get caught again later - it's still pretty early in the justice process. That was always something too that I've had some reservation about, because the heroes did all this work to uncover their murders and found a lot of compelling evidence and the guy admitted to it, but hey sometimes stress makes people confess to things they didn't do and detectives are wrong sometimes! Most people should not actually try and get justice for their family's killer… yeah. But I like to think that eventually maybe they get sentenced to jail… but I don't know! I don't know where we might go exactly and I don't wanna say 'cause- if that happens I want the option to not have everybody yell at me if I change my mind about something."

I've always been a massive advocate for character and relationship arcs not being some lower form of storytelling, there's no reason a complex plot and characters' emotional journeys shouldn't be held to similar standards of integrity and consistency. And I'm not saying a hypothetical future requires them to be 100% perfectly happy forever, I'm absolutely sure they'd bicker and disagree on some stuff. And characters are allowed to grow and change in sequels too, but there's a huge distinction between a genuine character arc and "actually the entire first series' emotional climax didn't matter and its resolution just undid itself because life is random like that sometimes!"

Look, you could say I'm maybe being uncharitable, and I acknowledge that this is just a casual off the cuff answer years and years after they wrote the story. Even though I've soured so, so much on most of the show over the years, I will gladly sing the praises of the emotional highs in the finale and how good that last few minutes is as a thematic sendoff for the main two dorks, and some unscripted Q&A response doesn't change that. But at the very least it means that whatever conviction she might have had about it is flimsy now, and with Disney's current raging reboot 'rection, there's a terrifyingly nonzero chance SVTFOE gets another chance in the limelight.

My time as a fan has long passed, but as someone who did care very deeply about Star and Marco's journey, it's frankly fucking insulting to see it so casually disregarded like this by the person likeliest to be involved in its hypothetical future.

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #starco

[allieebobo]

Hi Allie!! The update was really gooooodddddd! Anw, ive been stalking and reading through the asks & while I’m enjoying those, i don’t think anyone has asked u about urself yet. Or maybe i miss it but I’m interested to know more about the author who wrote 2 of my fave IFs. Just general questions like;

1. which part of SG were you from?

2. Fav food?

3. Fav place to lepak?

4. Pri/sec school (if you were educated in sg)

5. What made you migrated to USA?

6. Where are u currently based in?

7. Are u still a student or a full-fledged career womann

8. One place in sg that will always carry beautiful memories for you, now that u’ve moved abroad.

9. What sparked your interest in writing these IFs?

Hehehe. If some of the questions are abit personal, you don’t have to share ur answers. Have a good day ahead 🤍

Ooh!! Anon, these are great questions hehe!! Sure, we can do a get-to-know-me session!

I will answer a couple, and get back to the rest at some point, OK? If there's a question that I didn't answer that y'all are really curious about, you can send me an ask with the number and I'll get to it sooner rather than later.

(P.S. no, none of them are too personal, I just think it'd take me a gajillion years to reply if I tried to answer them all!)

Got long, so the answers are below the cut!

1. which part of SG were you from?

Redhill/Bukit Merah! There's a moment in Merry Crisis where MC talks about it, and that's directly from my life! West side, best side! If me and my partner were entitled to a subsidized public housing flat (we aren't, for so many reasons including we're queer and she's not Singaporean), I'd absolutely buy a flat in the exact same neighbourhood.

2. Fav food

Wow... I can't really choose one, but if I could cheat and pick a whole cuisine then Peranakan food, hands down. Petai (stinky bean) with ikan bilis is one of my fave dishes—and it reminds me of my grandma. Otherwise, ban mian is a big comfort food for me, and so are red chili oil dumplings. I also love kaya toast with eggs for breakfast. Herbal bak kut teh and teochew fish are things I love but wouldn't eat every day... All of these might show up (the fish already has I guess!) in the game at some point!

For non-Singaporean food, I could eat udon, all kinds of pasta, and som tum all day every day.

3. Fav place to lepak

<Lepak is Singaporean/Malaysian(? I think) slang for like, 'chill' or 'hang', btw.> As you can already tell I added a lot of my own experiences/things I love into Merry Crisis already, so I'm going to have to go with Labrador Park and Sentosa. As a kid my mom would bring me and my brother to the rocky coast in Labrador after school with a box of Sarpino's pizza and we'd play in the water and eat and get really sandy. Sentosa back in the day was less commercial/touristy, and we'd just park in the carpark for $2, and spend the entire Sunday just chilling on the beach (yes, I'm a huge beach person haha), and my dad (not a big beach person) would be napping under a big tree probably wishing his wife weren't such a big beach person because it's been inherited by his kids and now this is how he'll spend his weekends for the rest of his life.

6. Where are you based in? 7. Are u still a student or a full-fledged career woman

Have a full-time job, sadly. I've been working as an urban planner in Singapore for three years now. (Think that answers both questions at the same time.) So yeah, I plan the city. Mostly I make sure future generations have enough housing, even though I'm not entitled to one myself. 🤷‍♀️ I enjoy my work and I think it's fulfilling, but it's also tough and my hours are too long. One day I hope to write full-time but I really don't think it'll pay the bills. Maybe if I live somewhere cheaper than Singapore!

Quite excited to answer 8, 9 as well, but maybe those are for another day?

#author #kinda merry crisis related I guess #mostly because merry crisis is so much drawn from my own experiences #Q&A

[saltymongoose]

Hi, this is an Incomprehensible anon. Let's assume that the naive soul of the Player does not understand the hints of the boys and does not consider them in a romantic way. Imagine this picture: Boys almost directly say that they want something more Player: Do you want to be my brother!? I've never had a brother! Now we are one family! Boys through an inner cry: Yes

Hi Incomprehensible Anon, I like this idea a lot. Oblivious readers are pretty common in yandere fiction, but that's just because they're so entertaining lol (or relatable in some cases too). For you, the boys might just be really nice, for no discernible reason (at least to you). Romance is the last thing on your mind, so you don't take note of their lingering glances or the way they seem to seek out physical contact. Nor do you really have any reaction to when their touches seem to go on for a few moments longer than most would consider normal, or how they seem to crave your presence, praise, and affection in a way that's more than strictly platonic.

You might even think that the idea of them wanting a closer connection with you is ridiculous. You're their Player, sure, but why would they pursue something with you of all people? Wouldn't they want someone like themselves in life experiences, or even another grunt, for that matter? And why would they have these feelings to begin with? You haven't known them that long (at least in person), and surely they've got more to worry about than getting with anyone, with the whole Nexus Core and Machine business. The thought of them wanting something more is too outlandish for you to think about, so you don't.

Though this just means that when they do tell you that they want to have a closer relationship in a roundabout way, perhaps testing the waters for their real confession to you, you just assume they want to be closer friends. Best friends, or family, even. Much to the boy's complete disappointment. (They do adore you and would like to be closer regardless, but not in that way!)

(You get the feeling that what you said was odd for a moment, when their grins pinched into a grimace for a split second before they relaxed. What's so bad about what you suggested? Didn't they want to be close friends with you?)

[Also, just a note. All asks related to 9.5 Part 2 will be answered beginning this coming Saturday, figured I'd give y'all around a week as to avoid spoilers. You can send in as many as you want whenever you want, mind you, they just won't be posted until then. :) They'll also be tagged with "9.5 spoilers" as well in case some of y'all don't have the time to watch it by then haha. <3]

#tw: yandere #the boys: I want to be more than friends. 👉👈 #you being oblivious: oh you mean best friends? Sure besties 😄 #I saw your most recent ask and don't worry #I didn't receive any messages in other languages so you're good on that lol #ask #incomprehensible anon #i ❤️ anons

[thatoneguy031]

I've heard that people are making pinned posts, so I thought I might as well do it, too.

Heya. Y'all can call me Guy, and I'm the head honcho for this(more or less) ask blog, and I think there's a few things you should know about me:

-I'm currently in my junior year of high school, and posts happen... basically, whenever I feel like it. If I don't get to an ask immediately, don't take it personally; I'm just a bit busy with other things.

-I'm bisexual, with a heavy, heavy male lean. I'm single too, but I'm not really taking any suggestions at this point. It'd be unfair for someone to show me their face and not have me show them mine. He/Him pronouns, too.

-This is also a Pokemon IRL blog. I only evolved recently, and I'm still getting used to being a Samurott. I'm currently learning about how to battle and act... y'know, like a Samurott. What does that mean, I don't know. But I'm trying my best!

-I like making stories. Like, a lot of stories. I have tons of characters, all of which are all available for asks.

-I'm a really dedicated memer. If it isn't about anything regarding plot development, don't expect it to be taken very seriously.

-I am a huge anime and VG fan. Current playthroughs/playlist of games(Reminder, I only have a Switch): The World Ends With You(Final Remix, the Switch release) Pokemon Scarlet Hollow Knight(I'm lost, please help) Rivals of Aether(Orcane main, Forsburn and Eliana secondaries) Super Smash Brothers Ultimate(I change mains every other week, honestly) Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 4(Kakashi, Obito and Minato main) Mario Kart 8 Deluxe(I'm a Dry Bones main, who would've thunk?) Brawlhalla(I'm a Mako main, and Ragnir and Onyx secondaries) Pokemon Unite(I main Alolan Ninetails, but I've been dabbling in Garchomp due to personal reasons you'll see in later posts) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild(I'm lost, help me)

That's about it for me. I don't really involve myself in any political conversations, and I begin to feel uncomfortable when I have to talk about those kinds of topics with people. But, for those who want to know: Pro LGBTQ-whatever, obviously, but I don't pay attention to current events too much. I'm also not racist, if that had to be said.

If you're into the whole p3do or zoo thing, please leave. You genuinely need help, like, now. Oh, and bigots, racists, homophobes and all that jazz can get the boot, too. And I'll slam the door on your fingers on the way out.

I'd prefer if NSFW accounts didn't pay mind to this blog, as I'm trying to make sure that anyone can enjoy this place safely. I'm just want to make sure this place isn't the next Twitter.

As for my ask thingie, the reason why I even made this thing in the first place:

There are some obvious rules here that the public have to follow:

-No NSFW asks. A majority of my characters are children(About the same age as me), and I don't feel right putting them in such risque situations.

-If a character chooses not to answer a specific question. They might have some personal demons they need to fight before bringing up the topic, or they just might... not want to answer directly.

-I'm occasionally gonna be busy making updates to a character's story before I get to questions, so as mentioned before, answers won't be given out in a timely manner. I apologize in advance if there's any delays.

Here's some ask hints, I guess(Color-coded to associate the characters with the stories)*:

-Delta: Ask him about how he feels about Hertz or his living situation

-Hertz: Ask about his "academic" "performance", or why he decided to take Delta under his wing to begin with

-Jason: Ask him about his past experiences with Pokemon or something about Jayden, or something about his friends

-Jayden: Basically the same thing, or something about being the older sister of the family, or how she feels about Cheren and Bianca

-Cheren and Bianca: How they met Jason or Jayden in the first place

-Chris, or any member of his team(Stephanie, Wave, Lucas and David), for that matter: Try to get them to talk about their background or early childhoods

Smudge, Charles and/or Katie: Their hobbies, how they feel about each other, or how college is treating them

Trevor: His music career, and/or how he got into the music bandwagon in the first place, how his current job is going and stuff

Bryant: How he met Trevor, why they're friends, or their general connection

*Obviously, you can ask them anything, but these are some good starts if you don't know what to ask them.

Also, don't be afraid to ask me any questions, either, I won't bite. I'm just a dude tryin' to develop some social circles. Ask me about anything, really. Heck, you can even send anon asks, if you're too shy to show your face(Don't worry about it, I do the same thing all the time). If anything, I'd love to get some kind of advice with how to deal with evolution and all that stuff.

That aside, there are going to be tags on this post that can help you filter what and who you want to talk to, for both your sake and mine.

Now, without further ado...

Welcome to the show!

And I hope you enjoy your time here!

#furry #pokemon #protogen #ask #delta protogen #hertz #hertz ampwave #trainer jason #trainer jayden #chris noibat #stephanie snivy #lucas cubone #wave buizel #david charmander #smudge #katie #charles #trevor typhlosion #bryant floatzel #guy rambles #this pinned post is super outdated

[thetypingpup]

jssjjsjsj hi i sent that kitty!yy ask and the edging one (i... send a lot of asks tbh, sometimes i see you answer a whole batch of my asks and i have to remember that i'm the one who even wrote them lmao. i'm the one who said i'm "everywhere and nowhere".) I WANNA KNOW SOOO MUCH. I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING. also, yangyang seems like one of those friends/fwbs that'll rope you into dumb shit like bleaching his hair at 2am, which is maybe where the pink hair eventually comes in lol.

ok first off, dying his hair sounds like a funny ass high adventure you'd both have in like the middle of the night. like you're both joking and you tell him that he'd look good with pink hair, and he gets fixated like "yo i actually would tho" and you both venture out to buy hair dye and everything. that sounds like a fun scene to write omg and then you're both looking the next morning like "...well we got this hair dye, we might as well use it". as for the story itself, i'll tell you everything i got so far

i foresee this getting long so imma put a keep reading here

pup!you is a *insert breed here*, and kitty!yangyang is a *insert breed here* (i’ll figure it out i swear 🤧)

You two met in a class you had together, and you both were put together for a group project. surprise surprise you two were the only ones in the group who were doing any work bc you both need the grade. this led to you two working together a lot more and figuring out you have a few things in common, which got you both to open up more. Most importantly your sense of humor is very similar, which is when you really start connecting. 

Eventually you move from talking over groupme to texting each other directly, and the rest is history. You run into each other from time to time outside of class, like at sports games and other events, and then decide to start hanging out more just the two of you.

You both smoke from time to time with your own friends, but you’ve never smoked together until you’ve been friends for like a year.

one day you're over his place and you see his grinder and some papers out and it's like "you smoke?" "you smoke?" *insert spiderman meme here*

so anyway y'all smoke together and start getting all giggly and lost in the sensations

he's teasing you like "is it true pups like ear scritches and belly rubs?" and you let him pet your ears and you tell him how nice it feels

time lowkey slows down for a moment and you both really look at each other, and you're feeling this magnetic pull towards each other in the midst of your haze

one thing leads to another, y'all start making out, and then y'all end up fucking on his bed

the next morning it's honestly awkward at first, bc it's like what do you say to your friend who was just inside of you last night? you know what he looks like naked and you know what his dick feels like, so what are you even supposed to say now?

he's kinda feeling the same way, so after confirming you're both physically fine and remember everything, he leaves for the kitchen

you head to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and see all the marks he left. even though you had never considered sleeping with your friend before now, you really enjoyed yourself last night, and you don't regret it

you both talk about it when you come back out and he tells you the same thing too, that he hadn't considered sleeping with you before (he thinks you're hot but he liked being friends) but he liked having sex with you and wants to do it again

he proposes y'all become friends with benefits. at first you're like "this is too good to be true" and you wanna be sure he's asking because he wants to, not because he feels obligated to just because you said you had fun. once he assures you that yes, he really does wanna be fwb with you, you accept, tail wagging and all bc last night was some of the best sex you've ever had and you're excited by the idea of being able to do that again and keep your friendship in tact

as for boundaries, basically you agree to keep it between you both, so no public displays. you can fuck around with other people, and if the moment's right and you both wanna have sex, then you'll have sex. but first and foremost, you're friends, and you wanna make sure to stay close as friends

he does ask if he can send sexts and nudes too, and you agree bc 1) that sounds fun to you and 2) it's still keeping things between the two of you

so y'all fuck around for a while, mostly when you're high bc that's what's fun to you. you start up a thing about listening to music and fucking with yangyang's led lights during sex, so it's a lotta lighthearted fun. this becomes important later

one thing i'll mention bc it's important later, but y’all don’t really talk a lot during sex. y’all talk a lot more outside the bedroom, but in the bedroom, you mostly let your bodies do the talking. you like indulging in the sensations and getting lost in each other, really being vulnerable and letting yourselves feel, which is elevated by the fact that you’re with someone you trust and have a crush on but neither of y’all say all that yet

time passes and one day you're really horny, like damn near in heat type of horny. by this point you've sexted and sent a few nudes, but you've never actually texted each other for sex. you've texted each other to hang out or study or something, and sometimes you'd end up having sex. bottom line is the vast majority of your texts are still friendly at this point. on the one hand he is your friend with benefits, and this is the benefit you both agreed to. but the thought of texting him like "hey i want sex" is really nerve wracking to you bc you don't wanna treat him like a booty call on a roster. he's your friend first and foremost

you try to get yourself off with a few toys but it doesn't work. you just keep thinking about him. his voice, the way he feels, his scent fuck his scent. thinking about all of that is what drives you to actually text him can you come over? i need you

he starts sexting back, which reassures you at first because it shows he's into it. but then he starts teasing and by now you're horny and frustrated, so you get bold and send him pictures of the toys that didn't work and your soaked panties, showing him just how much you need him. that turns him on beyond belief and he comes over

he eats you out as many times as you need, insisting on focusing on you. like after you're fully satisfied and ask if he wants anything in return, all he does is wipe his mouth with his sleeve and ask to watch a movie. you get him off later in the night, but it sticks with you that he was entirely focused on you when you said you needed him

at one point, yangyang’s smoking with hendery, mark, and some of his other friends. i’m debating on whether or not you’re there too and just leave the room for a sec, but basically hendery admits that he has a thing for you, but didn’t wanna make any moves since yangyang’s with you. everyone one in the room just assumed you were both dating, since your scents are so intertwined by this point. he clarifies that you’re in fact not dating, but he starts to feel jealous bc the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes hendery is basically your type. he also feels some type of way about possibly having to call it quits with you, and he knows deep down it’s not just the fact that he’d have to stop having sex with you that he objects to

this is when he realizes he likes you, but he doesn’t wanna say anything bc you both already changed the trajectory of your friendship enough with sex, and it happened to work out. why change the trajectory again with feelings when there’s a higher chance it won’t work out?

you realize you like yangyang when you fuck someone else and can’t stop thinking about him. you keep making comparisons, noticing how this person doesn’t touch you the same way, doesn’t automatically know what you like the same way, their scent doesn’t do it for you as well, and this is much more interesting in getting off than exploring each other’s bodies. the most jarring part is this person keeps fucking talking and mumbling dirty talk, which really takes you out of the moment and makes you wish you were listening to yangyang’s moans instead

they get you off multiple times, so while you feel physically satiated, you don’t feel fulfilled. this is further exasperated by the fact that they just leave after, no cuddles or kisses or anything. the way you feel strikes you as odd bc you never needed all that after sex before, but now that you’re not getting that affection it makes you upset. that’s when it clicks like “shit...yangyang and i always cuddle afterwards and i miss him a lot”

you text him to come over and tell him what happened, and after being pissed for a moment that the person just walked out on you, he gives you all the cuddles and kisses you could ask for, basically giving you the aftercare the other person didn’t.

the next time you see each other and you’re hanging out (probably smoking) he starts kissing and touching you. and while it feels nice you tell him you don’t actually want sex right now. he tells you he didn’t either, he just wanted to kiss you, and you both just keep slowly making out and being all intimate while you watch whatever was on tv, going back to kissing when the moment strikes you. that’s when you confirm to yourself “k i really like him”, and he shows he feels the same way in the way he kisses you

more time passes, and y'all fall deeper for each other. you're super comfortable being vulnerable with each other, being a shoulder to cry on, someone to vent to, all that fun stuff, sharing things with each other that you didn't share with your other friends. when y'all start kissing each other for comfort and not just to initiate sex, when y'all just start cuddling naked or barely clothed (and maybe cockwarming too) just for the intimacy, when you shower or bathe together just to unwind and it goes beyond the need for sex, when even when you do have sex it's not to chase an orgasm but to have a moment of connection with each other, that's when it really sinks in that this is something more, even more than a crush.

it all really comes to a head when you're fucking high one day and plastic off the sofa and virgo's groove comes on. this is what i was talking about earlier with timing the smut to the song, because since neither of y'all talk a lot during sex, the lyrics really do the talking for you. your orgasms are timed to the crescendos of the song, the led lights change colors as the song changes, and you're both just completely lost in this moment in time with each other and can't fathom being anywhere else, or being with anyone else. the light goes from red, to purple, to blue when the song's over, and in your post nut haze you both stare at each other like "damn i'm in love with you"

i was debating on cbat being the next song that comes on shuffle bc that sort of goofiness is super on brand for you both and laughing while still being connected is hella cute idk that's just me anyway

so yea the music goes off, the weed is all smoked, but neither of you feel much of the high of the weed and moreso feel high on each other. and that's when you confess your feelings

and then after that, y'all are officially together. that's what i came up with so far. obviously there's a lotta gaps in the middle to fill in, but this is where my head is. again, love this concept anon, i haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day

#everytime i think i came up with all the ideas i could come up with #i end up thinking of something else and im typing away again #i really adore this concept like so much #like this specific dynamic with these specific personalities is something i've never written before and i'm pretty excited #that and the song moment #that's gonna be a bitch and a half to time but if i pull it off? #literally nobody can say shit to me ever again #hybrid!au #i think this is the most solid story out of the three hybrid pairings i have so far lmao #tw weed #kitty!yangyang

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hello 😄

Here I have not read the GRRM books but at the end of game of thrones I became interested in the Targaryen family. I read several things on the internet and then your story which is incredible. However there is a question that I ask myself, why rhaenys and corlys supported rhaenyra? She insulted them and laenor with her bastards. Is it only because their granddaughters rhaena and baela are daemon's daughters? Or there is an another reason? Especially since in addition there are rumors that say that daemon would have killed laenor. I'm sorry if that seems like a silly question. But as reading your story the reason why the velaryons support rhaenyra is well explained. I was wondering if this was also the case for the books so since you seem to be an expert on this period I allow myself to ask you.

Good luck, I can't wait to read your next chapter !

Hi there 🤗

Hum... if you want I would suggest you read "The World of Ice and Fire" just because of the amazing artwork <3 and the condensed version of the story which I think it's still enough for a very good understanding, though "Rise of the Dragon" is coming out later this month so that might also be worth it <3 it's only about House Targaryen. Ahhh I'm PRAYING for some good artwork because I need something good this year to lift my spirits!

About your question, I don’t like to call myself an expert on anything (my particular field of work teach us a LOT of humility (and imposter syndrome)), but I can say I maybe have spent more time reading and writing about this time period than most people -> anyone of you funny people brings out my word count and I’m blocking! I am kidding -> so I will do my best to answer you 🤗

We are never told directly but it's very clear they did so because Rhaenyra had been Laenor's wife (on paper), and their children were for all intents and purposes Laenor's children (on paper). 

Now to elaborate a bit on this, Laenor and Rhaenyra were terrible at best at pretending to have a functional wedding and a "Do you think everyone and their dogs is stupid AF?!" at worse. To avoid any confusions on anyone's part there is no mention whatsoever in the books that they had a bedding ceremony, even because Laenor left mid celebrations and left (haha double left) everyone wondering if the marriage had been consummated - very (very!) safe to assume it never was. In the meantime they spent their time apart (sorry y'all they weren't friends or besties watching each other's backs), and Rhaenyra spent all her time with Harwin Strong. For context she married in 114 AC - we don't know the month - and by the end of the year she had given birth to Jace. Moreover, his sisters were her favourites :) So besides not being good at pretending to actually having a marriage with Laenor, she was also not very good at pretending to be faithful. Same was true of Laenor though, who had his boy toys especially Qarl, but unlike Rhaenyra he couldn't get pregnant or get Qarl pregnant so no one cared. She went on to have two more kids by Harwin as we know. 3 in 4 years.

I will say that again because this gives me trauma. THREE IN FOUR YEARS.

I'm not even going to bring up that later on there was not even two years between Aegon III and Viserys II.

Ok I am.

At 25 Rhaenyra had five children and had been married twice. So look yourselves (I'm doing that right now) in the mirror and ask yourselves wtf are you doing with your lives.

Moving on.

Apart from this later on Laenor is killed, very likely by Daemon's orders so he could have Rhaenyra, and Rhaenyra and Daemon remarry like what 3 months after their spouses die? - baby Aegon was born by the end of 120 AC so they had to marry no later than month 4 and be like "Haha :D the baby came "early"". The rule here would be to wait between 6 months to a year before remarrying we are told by asoiaf standards to show respect. So by doing this, Daemon and Rhaenyra were showing they didn't really care their spouses had died recently.

Daemon and Rhaenyra:

That's nice of them.

So, so far on Rhaenyra's track record of daughter-in-law she:

-Didn't have or pretended to have a real marriage with their son;

-Had a public affair with Harwin Strong, three sons that were clearly his, and even turned his sisters in her favourites;

-F_cked and married and got pregnant by their daughter's widow - her sister-in-law's husband - couple of months after their son died;

That was nice of her. 

Why would they still side with her anyone might ask?

Well, it's not really very well explained. Like me and @xenonwitch have discussed at length, and like she pointed out, Fire and Blood remains George's weakest work. I agree. I think it has tons of potential (that was recently completely wasted to the point it makes the book read like a f_cking masterpiece with absolutely no flaws in logic or plot or even character development) but it wasn't really expanded upon enough and we are left with trying to tie together all the missing links - and boy oh boy! do we have copious amounts of them - to the best of our abilities. I think there is something pretty cool about it in the sense that you can almost create your own story in how you think it makes the most sense. It's also frustrating because at the times you really have to make your brain work overtime to make something out of it that is believable and makes sense.

But my take on it. Well, from what we know of Corlys and Rhaenys they do strike me as pragmatic people who couldn't have illusions about who their son was. -> hells, as an Anon once pointed out, every lord plus their dog knew Laenor was gay. Gay gay. Like if there is a spectrum for sexuality it's like at one end.

I mean. I get him. I am all about the men too. Like ladies no, thank you. No, thank you! If I was a man I would like d:ck as well.

This to say, they likely knew that the "Velaryon" princes were the best they were going to get so it was either take it or leave it. Let's say they said leave it because there's Baela and Rhaena. Well... ok sure, but Daemon was not the second in line for the Iron Throne. Baela and Rhaena were too far down in the line of succession, in fact so far, I believe this could be why they were not given the title of princesses.

So if they left it that was it for House Velaryon's aspirations to ever have a Velaryon king.

And now people can turn to me and say "Go f_ck yourself" to which I say "Bold of you to assume I have not already 🤗". I'm kidding.

They could turn to me and say "But Popcorn, maybe the Velaryons could push to have Baela and Rhaena married to Viserys's sons who were heirs after Rhaenyra. Maybe Baela could marry Aegon II and Rhaena could Aemond or some other similar arrangement.” BUT -> here comes that but-

How likely would it be that Viserys, our sweet lovable Viserys, would like to have an alliance with the people who accused his beloved daughter and heir of High Treason and denounced her children and his grandchildren as bastards?

I would say not likely. Not likely at all.

So instead, Rhaenys and Corlys called it a day. The "Velaryon" princes did not have their blood but they had their names. Plus, with their engagement with their granddaughters they would get their blood on the throne eventually. Better to let things run smoothly.

As for Daemon very likely having ordered Laenor's death, all that was known for sure was that Qarl had killed him. If Daemon did it or not was a matter of dispute and likely, either the Velaryons didn't suspect him, or if they did maybe they rather not know the answer.

This is related to what I do in real life, but most of us have such experience with people we know, and the lengths most of us go to try and have peace and keep the family together knows almost no limits. While Viserys liked to bury his head in the sand I also think Rhaenys and Corlys had to do this sometimes for the sake of their heads maybe. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now we never see it, or are told about it, but I would also suggest Rhaenys had some level of respect for Rhaenrya, and that she looked like she wanted her to be queen. At least her actions certainly say it. Hell she died for Rhaenyra's cause and fought for her too. Might have to do with what herself went through of being denied the throne for her sex, or maybe everything aside, they got along well enough. Maybe Rhaenys understood where Rhaenyra was coming from (i.e., gay husband) and knew herself well enough to assume to herself that in Rhaenyra's position she would have done either the same or similar. About her marriage to Daemon, again I think Rhaenys and Corlys had no illusions.

Rhaenyra and Daemon had a thing -> that we can debate how far it went but we talking third base at the very least -> before they ever married Laenor and Laena.

And we know they wanted to marry but were told no by Walserys -> the OG Daemyra anti. Given that Rhaenys and Corlys married for love, maybe again they knew where their son and daughter in law were coming from and were like “Meh at least all the grandkids are together. Saves us a trip or two!” 

I know sometimes we look at such situations and get enraged like HOW DARE THEY?! I WOULD HAVE NEVER STOOD SILENTLY WHEN... But what I see most in life is people staying silent and not bothering themselves or not wanting to cause trouble, especially in situations in which they will really gain nothing except lifting some weight from themselves and letting it out from their chests. 

I also know this all requires a LOT of maturity from Rhaenys and Corlys and that (especially in light of recent clear cash grabbing events) I might be giving turtle man too much of a benefit of a doubt. This said, and Rhaenys and Corlys do strike me as being very pragmatic and rational. And all things considered, it’s the best explanation I got XD 

I hope it makes some sense and thank you for having liked my version 🤗 I did my best to make it believable.

Tons of love to you! ❤️ And yes everyone I am writing the next chapter see: 

This is so I remember to make some reference to eating trout and to give credit to Lucifer210 over at AO3 who mentioned it in the comments. 

XOXO, 

Gossip Popcorn. 

#rhaenys targaryen #corlys velaryon #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #the rogue prince #the princess and the queen #fire and blood #pre asoiaf #the dance of the dragons #popcorn answers #I have a lot os asks to get to mkay? #I am trying

[non-stop-imagines]

Meera can you talk about your writing process? The way you write is simply amazing and I’m interested to know how you do it. Do you work on several requests at the same time? or you do them one by one? Do you complete them by chronological order or which one you like the best? How on earth do you write erotica so well, it’s never repetitive and so good written. Take care queen 🐈‍⬛

Hi 👋🏿😁.

Firstly, thank you! I'm honestly so happy you like my writing, it means way more to me then you guys can even imagine 🥹😘💖.

I'll start with when I get a request, because when I do I read it and immediately copy it into a Google docs. I keep the request in my asks though because when I finish it I don't want you guys to have to go searching for it (and it's also nice to keep the references in one spot). So if you have requested something but haven't seen an answer on your to your ask, just know it's nice and safe in a Google docs 😌🔐

From there my mind goes wild and will immediately try and figure out how scenarios would go with your request, and I have a considerably vivid imagination. And lets not lie, we've all acted out our daydreams at some point in our lives. So when I think of something that makes me feel particularly fuzzy, I jott it down. Like, this is what the top of the doc for Repeat That looks like.

This doesn't happen every time though, but most times because it's fairly easy to think of the plot and what you want to happen, but starting the darn thing is another story. I take so long trying to figure out if I want to start with dialogue or in the middle of something, etc. So when it comes to that, I just start writing and hope that it sounds good.

From there, I just start typing, literally whatever comes to my mind (though it usually comes directly from whatever dialogue I had in my daydream). This isn't very technical l, I really just go until I hit the end I want and try to write to incorporate points that I want to include ( which is why everyone's requests are so nice because y'all are DETAILED. I love it!🤣).

So, once I'm done writing and basic editing, adding it to the post on my laptop, I switch to my phone to actually read through it and fully edit, add/take away thing to make it flow. I only do it once because tbh sometimes reading my own writing feels so cringe and, like, it makes me worried about the reception it will get, so I limit myself to reading through once.

When it comes to what I write and when I write it, I try to go in chronological order of how they came in (another reason I don't answer the ask right away b/c I do not have the brain power for that) and I do tend to write one at a time, but I'll add ideas to other docs as needed. As of recent, for SOME REASON, I have had writers block with my Lando fic that I was doing next so I might go to the next one and come back hoping that the words come to me again. And it sucks because I've been thinking about it for a couple weeks and now I just can seem to write anything I like for it, so that's annoying. 😩

So,

When it comes to me writing (erotica/smut/insert word here), I literally me just using other things I have read for reference, books, Wattpad, other fics. I usually do have to go and read fics for references and then the vivid imagination steps in to help me put it in my own words. I wish I could give you more but that is really it.

Like this is really me (metaphorically) when I write smut because I am ashamed when ever I think of the nastiest most X-Rated descriptions that I be putting in these pieces. 🤣😮‍💨

So yeah, that's it. Sorry I got a bit wordy, I was just really excited about this and loved the fact that anyone would care about my writing process! 💕

(P.S. You guys do not understand. I used to HATE writing when I was younger. Never thought I was good at it. And I had that mindset since I was 9, so 23 year-old me seeing so many people complimenting me on my writing makes me want to cry. I love you guys sooo much.♥️)

#anon #formula 1 #thank you 😘💖 #writing #my process #i think this kinda helped my writers block a bit 😁

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

unsure if this counts but sam obisanya from ted lasso as a character in a show about bad dads is set up as a foil to others by having a good dad, but those other characters receive more narrative attention, in part because they have more problems and problems directly related to the themes of the show. as a secondary character in a predominantly white main cast, his romantic relationship is mainly about his love interest's arc, even though he is the one on the wrong end of a power imbalance. so i have outlined a fic where I give sam problems. lol. mainly that he feels ignored because he's not the one in crisis, he feels incapable of taking up space, other people unfairly dismiss his ability to sympathize with them just because he lacks shared experiences. but also that he has moved away from home from the first time, his family and others use his youth to treat him as if he isn't mature, his taste and interests are different from his peers.

I've heard nothing but good things about Ted Lasso, but I'm gonna be honest - I have not seen a single moment of it and never even knew what its about. I think I've seen maybe two Black femmes in passing over the years and I can't tell if they've got enough for me to dedicate my time into diving in. (And nobody's suggested that I watch it, which leads me to believe my familiars know its too white for me). And my folk know, one of my first questions would be "who is/are the Black girl(s), and how are they treated?" If the answer would embarass them to have to admit to me, they don't even mention it. 😅

Ummm.. Idk if I'm misunderstanding because I just woke up, but if I'm reading right, we're discussing a Black male character who initially has been given the unicorn role of being the one with a good father and we decided to give him backstory where his story becomes more complicated and his feelings are given struggle?

At any rate, I think a Black character with a good dad is a powerful (and unfortunately revolutionary) piece of representation. I don't spend much time with male characters on this particular platform, but if I was dealing with a character who already had that particular brand of backstory, I would likely build up on that.

Like, if the canon has him being utilized for comparison to the white characters or furthering their storyline, I'd focus more on maybe seeing what about the relationship with his dad is special? What headcanons are there about the family that aren't shown? What healthy types of ways do they process their information? I feel like a wholesome Black family dynamic is scarce enough that I personally would just love to build on that ideal... but I also invest my time particularly to Black marginalized genders in general, and specifically with this blog the female characters and feminine characters.

So, I would probably be digesting how they are used in this storybuilding. That being said, I know that there are Ted Lasso fans in the BFCD collective, so I hope that they can connect with you on some of your ideas. Might not be for me, but we do be needing to connect over representation and somebody here surely is invested in this Black man with his good daddy. I hope they hit you up and y'all can touch and agree on your fandom things.

Have a great night.

#answered #chucktaylorupset #I don't go here #Nesha Chats #Ted Lasso #story building #not black femme related

[gentrychild]

The post about Tododeku being considered some kinda vanilla ship was taken straight out of my mind... Cos y'all know what happened right? Todoroki saw Izuku give no shits while throwing hands with a freaking genetic abomination and thought "Imma challenge this crazy mofo" and then he accused him of being a secret love child and followed it up with unloading tragic backstory(tm). After that they valiantly tried to murder each other on national TV, live...Izuku broke his everything and permanently disfigured his hand and Todoroki somewhat overcame a lifetime of trauma via talk no jutsu. They also blew up the arena by virtue of thermodynamics and almost killed everyone if it wasn't for an overworked cementoss. The next time we see them, they are ride or die. Todoroki just booked it to a shady alley to fight a serial killer cos of a freaking location ping. Then Shouto joined the Bakugou Rescue Squad(tm) cos Izuku said so..no questions asked. Let's not forget that Izuku, hero fanboy and anxious Duracell bunny stood up to Endeavour BEFORE he knew the tragic backstory(tm). Tododeku is just straight up ride or die. And the fact that people think they're a vanilla ship, platonic or romantic...just amazes me.... Cos these two would most definitely commit light recreational murder(tm) and call each other to for a cute evidence destroying and body hiding session.

You are right and you should say it.

I am very attached to the Todoroki/Midoriya fight because it's nothing short of insane.

It starts with Todoroki (accidentally?) eavesdropping Uraraka and Tenya mentioning that Izuku is eating with All Might. Similar quirk + Midoriya risking his life to save All Might (someone who shouldn't need help) and so he immediately put on the tinfoil hat.

Just before the Sport Festival starts, Todoroki challenged Midoriya, someone who can't use his quirk without breaking his bones, instead of Bakugou, aka the other strongest fighter in the class.

And Todoroki turns out to be right because the sheer possibility of Izuku using his quirk too close to him during the "Grab a headband" fight made him use his flames for a moment, which is a pretty big deal.

Todoroki then lures Izuku to an isolated area, it's the first time they actually talk to each other for real, and Todoroki proceeds to ask him if he is the Symbol of Peace's secret bastard child???

He then doesn't even give a second to Izuku to recover from it and tells this kid, that he has pretty much never talked with before, his entire tragic backstory.

As someone who protects their secret more fiercely than a dragon protects their gold, this one shook me more than the actual content of the tragic backstory. There is also the fact that it was a huge risk on Todoroki's part as it was possible for whoever listened to him not to believe him.

Izuku then sees Endeavor. I am not surprised about him talking back to him because Izuku has social anxiety but doesn't have much patience when it's more serious. And yes, from his expression, it's pretty clear he believed Todoroki.

Izuku goes to this fight mentally prepared to snap as many fingers as necessary to win. He doesn't have any other way to fight Todoroki.

Not only does he break many bones in this fight but he pretty much tells Todoroki "You ain't shit" because Todoroki never managed to hit Midoriya. All his damage is self inflicted so far.

At some point, Todoroki wonders if his dad has paid Midoriya to convince him to use his fire, which is very funny to me.

Izuku actually directly punches Izuku with OFA at some point, which is a pretty good deal as at the time, he avoided it in order not to turn his opponents in chunky salsa.

"IT'S YOUR POWER!"

Enough said.

Once the flames were unleashed, they both decided to just unleash their full power on each other.

That something they didn't even do in the USJ, while fighting villains.

You said that an overworked Cementos is the reason why they didn't killed everyone by the virtue of thermodynamic but since the walls were created were vaporized, I am more leaning towards their attacks cancelling each other.

And don't forget how they didn't really talk to each other during this fight, and yet, they quickly understood what the other was trying to say and why they were doing this.

No, seriously, they shared a glance to say "Hey, want to beat the crap out of each other to evacuate some trauma?", the other mentally answered "Yes!" and the next thing Midnight knew, there was no more arena.

And that's just the Sport Festival.

#I think the problem with Tododeku is that the same way Fanon Izuku and Fanon Shouto are made softer #so is the ship #people just forget that those boys are insane #tododeku