#I really have to sew things for friends myself and other dolls now

[sainte-melasse]

*~~Be an angel and don’t reblog her on a kink/nsfw blog~~*

#bjd #egl #lolita fashion #old school lolita #I finished her skirt ! #it's simple but really cute I think ♡ #also confession moment #I love Léopoldine but she's a pain to photograph and I'll be honest #not my best work here #but the set up with the wardrobe was just too cute not to share #anyway #probably my last sewing for her in a while #I really have to sew things for friends myself and other dolls now #it's not as if she was lacking clothing anyway ^^' #my dolls #doll

[gsstories]

When Autumn Starts

A nearby forest has been mysteriously burnt down two weeks ago. It had happened the day of an eclipse and it just happened randomly! People are worried and keep talking about what could have happened. They had no clue the reason was a small, fiery fairy who held a grudge against humanity…

Right now, he was wandering around the place, seeing how things have changed while he was imprisoned. He was astonished by the cars, the cellphones, everything! He had to see more!

The fairy flew near the window of an apartment at the top of a bakery and looked inside. It was a room that was a pastel yellow color with a nice bed, a study desk with some books, sewing materials, a sewing machine, next to the desk a mannequin an unfinished red suit, and there being a separate desk with three computer monitors, a microphone and a HUMAN was sitting on the chair, wearing cat eared headphones and wearing a hoodie that said ‘I cast gun, prepare to meet god’ and was playing a fighting game on his setup.

The guy couldn’t have been older than 15, had dark skin, long, brown hair, golden eyes, slightly big lips, his hair in a low ponytail and some bangs of hair covering his right eye.

“Uhh, guys? I died again.” The guy said.

From Eclipse’s perspective, he was rather confused. The human died? But he was still moving no? What did he mean by again? Can humans just died and keep moving nowadays? That didn’t make sense…

Now, from the human teen’s perspective, whose name is Daniel, it was like this…

“Are you serious?? We just started this round!” Another male sounding voice yelled, his name being ‘Ax’.

“Are you really that surprised? It’s Aspen we’re talking about.” Another male voice said, named ‘Brutus’.

“You need help next round Aspen?” A third voice with a slight Russian accent asked Daniel, or ‘Aspen’ on stream, this guy named ‘KoKo’.

“I would say no but that’s a big fat lie.” Aspen mumbled.

“Where’d CJ go?” A fourth voice with an even stronger Russian accent asked, the guy named ‘Apollo’.

“Knowing him, massacred a bunch of people already.” Brutus said as they heard evil giggling.

“That’s exactly right!” A fifth voice, one a tad bit higher than the other boys’ said, giggling mischievously, this one called CJ.

“LeLe must love you right now.” Aspen chuckled at this.

“She loves CJ no matter what he does.” KoKo responded. “Fucking simp.”

A comment rolled in the chat of the stream. It read:

LeLeNotPons: ‘Says the one who keeps calling his ‘best friend’ his wife when on stream.’

“Hey, I am not the one who rambles about the merman every chance I get, so shut it.” KoKo argued with the comment.

“Hey Aspen, how do you feel about your husband and sister-in-law fighting?” Brutus questioned the eladrin VTuber.

“Kinda hot on KoKo’s part.” Aspen answered, making Ax start chuckling and soon enough the whole group started laughing. “Am I wrong?!”

Daniel then started smelling something. Something was… burning? But he didn’t have anything cooking and his parents were down in his bakery. Couldn’t be his lil brother, he cannot reach a stove and his sister was with Helena (aka LeLe, KoKo’s sister). The young man turned around in his chair only to find the sight of a kind of tall yet still smaller than him, like barely reaching his leg I think, of a humanoid creature with its head having what looked like red flower petals but still not? The creature’s face and body was half really dark brown, and orange, its cheeks seemingly having what would be considered blush that could only be found on dolls, sharp teeth, mismatched eyes with the irises being orange while the right sclera was a yellow color, almost white while the left one was pitch black. It wore a ragged and torn cloak over its shoulders and dusty red and orange striped pants with no shoes.

Besides the creature, a paper was burning on Daniel’s desk. Daniel and the creature stared at each other for a while the paper just burned.

“Hey guys, I gotta mute myself for a moment, something caught on fire.” Aspen said.

“Only you bud.” Apollo said as the others laugh.

Daniel muted himself, walked out of his room, brought a fire extinguisher and put the fire out before it could spread. He kinda covered the creature with the foam though.

“Alright, now that that’s been dealt with…what the absolute FUCK are you?!” Daniel exclaimed, now freaking out.

“What is this? It’s foamy.” Eclipse wondered, completely ignoring Daniel’s question as he tasted the foam. “Tastes weird.”

“You’re tiny! And cute! But also kind of like you would commit arson! Did you make the paper burn?” Daniel asked as he looked at Eclipse’s form.

“Yes, that was me.” Eclipse said as he grinned.

“Arsonist then, called it.” Daniel mumbled as he held onto his ponytail. “Just- What ARE you??”

“I am a fairy. I thought you humans would be able to recognize us better. Bummer you don’t.” Eclipse said.

“Fairies are fucking real?” Daniel mumbled.

Now Eclipse was looking at Daniel who was having an existential crisis over what is real and what is not. It was rather amusing for Eclipse to see a human in distress like this.

“Okay, uhhh, who are you?” Daniel asked.

“Why should I tell you my name?” Eclipse asked the human, tilting his head a bit.

“Because if I don’t have a name, Imma just call you Mosquito because you came in, decided to freak me out on stream, and the pointy nose also reminds me of a mosquito.” Daniel said.

“Do NOT call me mosquito!” Eclipse growled at the human boy.

“Then give me a name to call you! It’s not that hard!” Daniel said. “It’s either that, Mosquito or Mosco cause you are rather big for a mosquito.”

Eclipse was getting rather annoyed at this human. He’s in the presence of a fairy, a real life fairy, and he dares insult him like this? Humans haven’t changed, he guessed.

“Fine. It’s Eclipse.” Eclipse huffed.

“Thank you for giving me a name. I’m Daniel, nice to meet ya. Why are you in my house?” Daniel asked.

“I’ve been… wandering around the place recently. Just trying to see how things have changed in the human world is all. I haven’t been here in quite a while.” Eclipse said as he took out his wings and flew around the room, staring at everything.

“Oh! Okay, I see. So, you were somewhere else then?” Daniel asked.

“Something like that, yeah.” Eclipse said as he looked at a bundle of plushies of some characters before flying over to the unfinished suit.

A bit ominous to Daniel’s liking but it was fine.

“What’s this?” Eclipse asked as he stared at the suit.

“Oh, that’s a suit someone commissioned me to make for them. It’s still a work in progress.” Daniel said.

Eclipse decides to be a lil evil shit and summons a flame in his hand. However, he was drenched in the foam from before, causing his fire to die.

“Hey!!” Eclipse yelled in annoyance.

“Do NOT try and ruin it, I spent WEEKS working on that!” Daniel said as he glared at the fairy.

“Oh please, like it’ll matter in the end.” Eclipse hissed at the human.

“It still matters to me. Just because you are a magical creature does not mean you are entitled to destroy the hard work of others. Calm your damn shit or I will make you!” Daniel said.

“Oh yeah? And how will you do that?” Eclipse asked with a challenging grin.

“You may not be a mosquito or a fly but I can take you out like such still. I am NOT afraid to swat you!” Daniel said as he crossed his arms.

Both human and fairy stared each other down for a long while, just glaring at each other. Eventually, Eclipse huffed and looked away.

“Whatever.” Eclipse mumbled.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a stream to get back to.” Daniel said as he walked over to his computer.

“What’s a stream?” Eclipse asked as he flew behind Daniel.

“It’s a way for me and my friends to make content for our channel, interacting with our viewers, all that.” Daniel said as he put his headphones on and unmuted himself. “Sorry guys, there was a big ass mosquito I had to deal with after the fire.”

Eclipse scrunched up his face at that but didn’t say anything as he sat on the desk. Daniel glanced at him but didn’t say anything. May as well let the fairy watch.

•

•

•

•

•

•

About two hours had passed and the stream was finally over. Daniel said bye to his friends and took off his headphones. Eclipse was still on the desk, looking curious at what he watched for the last 2 hours.

“What was all that?” Eclipse asked.

“What was what?” Daniel asked.

“All of that! The images were moving… and you controlled it with that… what’s that??” Eclipse asked as he pointed at the keyboard.

“My keyboard? Well, I sometimes use it to play games on my computer but other times I use a controller.” Daniel said.

“Controller?” Eclipse repeated.

“I’m gonna have to teach you everything don’t I?” Daniel mumbled. “Listen, I don’t mind helping you out with all this stuff, it’s very new to you, that is clear. But please don’t burn anything, I don’t want anything important to get damaged.”

“No promises~” Eclipse grinned, making Daniel sigh.

“Okay, whatever.” Daniel mumbled. “By the way, what’s up with your clothes?”

“My clothes?” Eclipse asked as he looked down at himself. “What’s wrong with them?”

“They look rather damaged. Plus you aren’t wearing any shoes.” Daniel said.

“I have not been able to get new clothes in a long time.” Eclipse mumbled.

“I see… Well, your clothes gotta be changed.” Daniel said.

“I am fine like this.” Eclipse said as he crossed his arms.

“Doubt it. I think I have some clothes your size, I do make mini clothes for dolls.” Daniel mumbled as he searched through some drawers.

“I am telling you, I am perfectly fine with what I am wearing.” Eclipse said, blowing smoke from his nostrils.

“Could have fooled me.” Daniel muttered as he found some small clothes. “There we go! Found em!”

“I am not wearing your human made drags!” Eclipse said with a glare.

“Come on, it’ll be fine!” Daniel said.

“No way!” Eclipse exclaimed before taking out his wings and flying out of Daniel’s room.

“Hey hey, don’t fly away like that! My parents could be in the apartment!” Daniel yelled as he ran after Eclipse.

Daniel and Eclipse went through a cat and mouse chase for a while, Daniel occasionally having to save some stuff that was knocked off by Eclipse flying around. Luckily, Daniel’s parents were still busy with the bakery so they didn’t see the scene that was happening at the moment. After a while, Daniel was able to catch and swaddle Eclipse in a fluffy towel, one of those small ones used to dry your hands. Eclipse was a huffy and struggling mess until he eventually gave up. He could have burned the towel easily but it actually felt kinda nice, not like he would admit it.

“Listen, I won’t force you to wear the clothes. At least TRY them and if you don’t like them, ya can keep wearing your old clothes.” Daniel said as he brought back a swaddled Eclipse to his room.

“Ugh, fine. Whatever.” Eclipse huffed as Daniel unwrapped him from the towel. “You really made these yourself?”

“Mmhmm! I have wanted to be a fashion designer one day so I have been practicing ever since I was a kid. I think I became quite decent at it.” Daniel said rather proudly.

“Right.” Eclipse said as he took the clothes and looked them over.

“BRB, I gotta check on the bakery.” Daniel said as he walked out of the room, closing the door.

Eclipse watched as Daniel left. How odd, he could easily destroy everything that Daniel loved right at that moment when he was gone but he still trusted him? A naive kid. A nice one but still naive.

Eclipse looked back at the clothes.

Maybe he could wait for a few days before causing much damage… The clothes don’t seem that bad anyway.

(This was so fun to write! Fairy Eclipse belongs to @ayyy-imma-ninja, hope I did the boy Justice lol! Daniel/Aspen is my Oc, I love him! Hope you enjoyed this!)

((Bonus: Daniel’s avatar, Aspen, in Autumn form!))

#fairy au #dca fairy au #sundrop fairy #moondrop fairy #fairy eclipse #black sun fairy #dca fairy au comic #fnaf daycare au #fnaf dca #fnaf dca au #fnaf sun and moon #fnaf sun #fnaf sundrop #sundrop #fnaf moon #fnaf moondrop #moondrop #fnaf eclipse #oc #vtuber #au

[0theghost0]

Update

Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.

I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.

I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.

There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.

People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.

I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol

I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.

#updates #text post #I've read through this a few times and I think it makes sense #I'm currently very sick #I hope this isn't just flat out nonsense #I also hope it isn't needlessly dramatic sounding #whenever I try to type this stuff out it always comes across so intense lol #I'm also going to be a dick and post this in the middle of the night #if I leave it until morning I'll forget it exists

[ryoshudoodles]

The Plushū Diaries

This is a long post about the plushie I made as a beginner and just me venting about the process. Just skip this is you don't like long posts. Also I will probably mix up UK and US English a lot here. The usual Internet learning experience.

Canto 1- I can (not) make a plushie myself

So... As you may gather from the existence of this blog, I love Ryōshū a very normal amount. And like many other PM fans, I wanted a plushie of my best girl.

Two problems arise.

Independently made plushies made by commission are EXPENSIVE (For a very valid reason, this things take AGES to make and require a lot of work and skill.).

And

All the "Mass" produced ones by indie designers that I saw had animal ears or features, which I don't really like.

So, Sunday at around 10:00 pm, I, in all my wisdom, say to myself "I want it! So I'll make it!" I already had some material from a previous failed attempt, so might as well use them.

I dug up the doll skeleton and the body I had and stuffed that thing. By then it was already late and I had to work on Monday so, to bed I went.

Canto 2- The Real Start

By morning on the following day, I had already gotten over the Idea of making a plushie myself. Too much work. Too little skill. Like any other good little ADHD demon, I am allergic to completing my own projects and I jump from new idea to new idea too quickly to get anything done.

So, imagine my shock when at 11:00 pm I get that little itch to just make the thing. That little night owl brain magic that happens when everyone else is asleep and you are just now deciding to be productive.

So I grab the body, my embroidery thread and a bathtub of coffee and I just started.

Luckily I already had a pattern that a friend printed out for me two years ago. But then, the mistakes also started.

Mistake 1- Improv

I had no idea what I wanted to make. I had a design that I had painted In photoshop before but I didn't have that materials nor skills for that. So I made a simpler one on the spot. I don't own a printer. I don't have transfer paper. So... like a person with a very aesthetically pleasing smooth brain, I just drew the design STRAIGHT ON THE FABRIC with BRIGHT red pen.

Mistake 2 - The bright red pen

At the start it wasn't much of an issue just something to mark the design because I don't have a tearaway stabilizer.

By the end of this saga, those smooth clear lines had bled SO MUCH I could no longer tell the difference between te guide and random stains. Oh! And you can also see the guidelines from the outside of the doll. Cool.

Mistake, the third - The felt hair

This doesn't seem like a mistake, but trust me, It will haunt the narrative.

Mistake forever after - Hubris

It took... around 1 hour to line up everything correctly on the embroidery ring? Why? Because I am stupid, that's why.

During this first day I decided that I didn't need to use pins. I could just put it on the ring by eyeballing it. How bad can it be?

I was a fool. There's a reason why professionals use them, and there's a reason why some people sew some pieces temporarily during certain steps of the process before finally attaching them together. Pins truly are unsung heroes.

Canto 3- The unembroidered

So... embroidery. Embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery is hard. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines and no stabilizer is HARD. Symmetrical embroidery with bleeding guidelines, no stabilizer and you are a total beginner is maddening.

I watched someone do it by hand on YouTube before and I tried to mimic the process as much as I could. It didn't help much. Youtube tutorials can only do so much to compensate my lack of experience.

By the time I had done one eye I was already seeing problems. My stitches were all scattered to the four winds. They were all going in different directions. Some of them were too far apart or too close to others. The lines in the back of the doll were piling up and there were more knots in the thread than in your average omegaverse fic.

I went colour by colour. First black since I needed it to line the hair and it was the most used colour, then white just for the little highlights and finally red.

(Funny thing, the number of this red thread of this brand is 666 wich is kinda funny for miss hellscreen over here.)

After the red thread it finally started to look kinda decent (by beginner standards)

Canto 4 - Revenge of the felt hair

After all the embroidery was done it was finally time to get her off the ring and sew the parts together.

For those unaware, the regular soft plushie material, Minky, is really lightweight and very thin. Felt... isn't thin. And when you are sewing a plushie head with may parts and layers, all those millimeters of fabric pile up really quickly. One layer of felt is easy to pierce with a needle. Five layers? Not so much. Several needles were broken in the process of joining the front of the head with the back. I do not own a sewing machine. I did all of this shit by hand.

Thank god for the tetanus vaccine. When I say this little creature has my blood, sweat and tears, I MEAN IT.

The curse of the felt hair didn't end there.

Now that the head was done, it was time to stuff it.

Naturally, I had to rip parts of the stuffing to get it inside the head and around the skeleton. This sent bits and pieces of the thing flying everywhere. My room is FILTHY. And the felt hair got the worst of it. All those little dusts and microfibers stuck to it like a fly in a web. As I write this I am still trying to rip out bits of stuffing without damaging the felt. It is horrible. My girl is DIRTY.

(Also, plushie heads take WAY more stuffing than I thought. Holy shit.)

Finally, on the last day, it was time to attach the body to the head and sew the back of the hair. (I should have done that before but... more layers of felt. Broken needles. You know... nheeeeeee)

So, with a lot of fear in my heart I ladder stitched those bastards together and mocked up a decent enough pattern for the back of the hair. And just like that.... she is done.

Canto 5- The Plushie Defining

So... what did I learn?

Use pins. Stitch things temporarily with an obvious visible line that you can cut out after and test things before committing to a permanent stitch. If you are a beginner, like me, and are afraid to sew pieces together because you don't want to ruin your embroidered parts that you spent SO LONG working on, do this before.

Fuck felt.

Don't use a bright red pen.

Mess up. Make your plushie. Make it ugly. If you hate making bodies like me, buy one made and practice the head. Despite everything, I love my asymmetrical girl a lot. Like... I made this little bastard. She is MINE and I made her. This never stops being magical. It's a nice feeling.

And I did it without specific materials.

Some cheap threads, a body you can probably make too, some felt I found at the discount bin and random needles. That was all. No tearaway stabilizer, no sewing machine, no printer, no embroidery machine. The minky fabric is the only thing that was more of an investment. The rest is pretty accessible.

Do you know that post that says "Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Yeah, that applies to artistic projects. Go for it! Just... don't start with something hard like a human... Christ sake that was a nightmare.

I'm probably still gonna get a better plushie of her in the future, but for now, this is my baby.

Goodnight Tri-state area.

#not a doodle #long post

[this-ag-doll-is-a-butch]

Clara Montoya: Autistic???

I've been getting back into AG for almost a year now. Josefina has always, always been my fave, since we were both nine years old.

I've been thinking about how I want her to have a counterpart in her time and location to actually interact with in period-appropriate ways. She never received a Best Friend doll, though :(

But really, her whole story is centered around her family anyway, and I've seen people talk about how 2005 GOTY Marisol Luna has been used to create Clara dolls. And yep, the resemblance is real.

So I have plans to get a Marisol and make her Clara. Although they may take a some months to come to fruition, considering all my other doll and fandom and plushie collection goals and IRL expenses 😔

But it's free to think about Clara's character and plan for what I want her collection to encompas.

The thing that strikes me most, looking at her now with the adult knowledge of being autistic myself- she REALLY seems like a character that one can headcanon as autistic with ease.

She's logical and practical and literal to a fault. She hates change and getting dirty and wants to keep everything organized. Sewing and embroidery are her special interests! She bonds with Tía Dolores through those interests! She clashes hard with Francisca, who just does not want to make the effort to understand her.

She has strong attachment to objects, to the extent that it becomes a huge part of the plot in "Josefina's Surprise." (The altar cloth, Niña.)

Niña is her comfort object, for fuck's sake!!!!! She manages to relinquish primary custody of Niña to Josefina, but ONLY after Tía Dolores managed to give her a new comfort object (Mamá's silver thimble.)

I mean, I think I need to closely reread all Josefina's series and acquire all short stories and the mysteries. What else is going on with dear Clara and her autism? Does she have sensory issues???

It goes without saying that Clara was never deliberately written as autistic, and of course in 1824 New Mexico, a word didn't exist for autism. But we autistics have always existed.

In terms of a potential collection- obviously Josefina's nightgown straight-up seems to be Clara's camisa and IDK how to feel about that. How can Josefina not have her nightgown??? 😭

One potential solution I've been thinking about is a similar nightgown for her but with a different neck ribbon. I can't sew, but it seems Etsy seller Magnoliawillows makes a similar nightgown with a blue ribbon which could be Josefina's new nightgown.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1325115163/josefina-montoya-style-night-shift

Also, I know her BeForever nightgown exists too. But I'm not as emotionally bonded to it, since it came after "my time" lmao. Maybe it would be nice if Clara and Josefina had summer and winter nightgowns 🤔

And I could get Josefina's BeForever bed for Clara! That's another reason why I want a Clara- to have a way to use more of Josefina's collection as I acquire it, especially the BeForever items.

And if AG could just get off their asses and GIVE JOSEFINA LITERALLY ANY COLLECTION AT ALL AGAIN, it would be great to buy whatever is (re-)released new and use it mostly for Clara, because that way I could have the beloved Pleasant Company versions of my memory yet also support Josefina's collection today.

Meet Accessories/Outfit ideas- Josefina's PC red-ribbon nightgown as camisa, different rebozo, moccasins, extra pair of Josefina bloomers, indigo skirt (although it would be interesting to try and see if someone sells/would make a skirt closer to book illustrations... however, 1820s New Mexican sisters, even in a well-to-do family like Josefina's, definitely shared clothes. So it would make sense from that perspective).

She'd need a doll-size pair of scissors, which Tía Dolores gave her, of course. And I'd want her to have some kind of necklace, because all AG historicals did/do. I'd need to know more about necklaces from then, though... perhaps some kind of mílagro, or Saint Clara symbol/medal? I'd want her to have a little sewing & embroidery kit to hang on her belt, too.

One thing that would take a lot more work, yet would make an amazing story, would be to somehow find another little doll's-doll like Niña. I have a whole story idea where some kind of secret room somehow gets found (maybe at Abuelito and Abuelita's house in Santa Fe) and a long-forgotten doll from Mamá and Tía Dolores' childhood gets given to Clara 🥺

Another idea would be to assemble stuff to create a little shrine for Clara and Josefina to pray at (yes I got the idea from the Mini World image). Especially because it would have Mamá's colcha-embroidered altar cloth! And just in general, part of why I connected with Josefina so much growing up was that her family is Catholic, just like mine.

These days, obviously, I'm a grown up monbinary gay ex-TradCath (similar to ExVangelical) with religious trauma, but maybe making a doll Catholic shrine would be a way to deal with that in a more healthy manner...

Anyway I would love to talk about Clara and Josefina!!!! Josefina-lovers please interact!!!!

#josefina montoya #clara montoya #american girl #agblr #autistic headcanon #best friend dolls #doll ideas #montoya family #religion cw #religious trauma mention

[stinkyme]

Hello friend :)

I’d like to hear your and other women’s thoughts/experiences/advice about following problem, if that’s okay:

I’m currently 19, turning 20 soon, and I’m not only as conditioned to obsess over female youth and male validation as much as to be scared of “getting old” in general (as in turning like 40+, which objectively isn’t “old”), but I’m also dreading turning 20 and not being in my teens anymore.

I’ll be honest, those teen years were shit, I didn’t enjoy them, and what lies ahead of me is most likely better than that, but I’m scared of not being a young girl anymore. I obsess over being “youthful and pure” so much, that I feel like I’m decreasing in worth with every year, and that I’ll be like five times less desirable once I’m not a “teen” anymore. Which is sick, I know, but I still feel like the only thing that I have, that I can be proud of, that gives me worth, is the fact that I’m still young, look good and fit into the “male fantasy” of the dainty, innocent young woman blah blah blah. Not an image that I look at and think, “wow, cool, exactly what I want to be”, and I actually really admire women who are headstrong, independent, do what makes them feel good and not what men would like.

But I can’t help but have my thoughts revolve around “does that make me desirable/feminine/hot/likable through the male gaze?” with whatever I do, wear, say, how I move, talk, etc.

I feel so terrible for being and thinking like that, I think it’s pathetic, but I just feel like my entire worth depends on how men perceive me, because I feel like I have nothing else to be proud of, nothing else that makes me me, you know?

🍒anon

If I can be very honest, I am not the best person to talk about this with because frankly - I couldn't care less about what men think or what they find desirable, lol. This will be a messy post since there is a lot to cover, but I will try to make it brief

It makes me appalled most of the time when I listen to them even speak what they want, I am unable to sympathize with them as someone who is also attracted to women or find myself insecure under their ridicilous and unachievable standards. Not to mention changing myself for it

I say I don't care about what most (especially toxic) men think and I truly do mean it, I genuinely don't hold their opinion close to heart or in high regards. To me, it's like a broken radio playing in the background

Everyone are allowed to have a type, of course, however I am guessing you are going specifically for basic standard - perfect girl, perfect body, no marks of living or even smiling, smooth as a liquid (hey mitski), literally a doll with sewed mouth lol

Well, about those I don't care. I don't care about beauty standards in general. I criticize them, of course, due to how racist, pedophilic and how harming they are - which is also why I don't care to achieve them. I am a white woman, so yes, I do hold a certain privilege when it comes to it, however I am far away from what society or men find desirable, I think

However, I cared only when I was much younger and thought relationships and somebody being romantically invested in you meant you are worthy and lovable, but as I grew up and as I went through fairly long relationship that ruined my self image and self love (or what was left of it), I had to learn something which is how to not care and let myself be. Now, I am excited about myself as I am and I like myself as I am, even though I am far away from perfect. I have stretch marks here and there, I have tummy, I have pimples sometimes, I have marks of being a human, I can be very hairy, etc etc, but there is so much more to me and I am okay with saying that.

I don't shame away from being human anymore just because somebody may find it not dolly enough. I am who I am and I love being so many things that I am which have nothing to do with the way I look like

But I like it all as it is, truthfully. I don't care about looking young because who really cares? Men with pedophilic standards - sure, but why would I or you or anyone else even think they should feed into that?

You are a young woman, far away from old or dirty. Yes, you will be less desirable in your 20's..why? Because a lot of men like children. That's the harsh truth of it. I was catcalled much more as a 15 year old kid and I literally looked like a kid than at my current age of 21

A lot of men like everything that is easily manipulated, ruined, bruised, tainted, only for their use because a lot of them are sick in the head. So, you should never bow your head down to such standards because why would you? Get excited about meeting yourself, let yourself be a woman you are. A smart, strong headed, independent, interesting, poetic, enthusiastic woman! And you can do all that while also taking care of your looks - but for yourself and for your own satisfaction :)

Because those men whose approval you seek will never find you beautiful. Not in a way you may want or in a way you deserve. You deserve somebody who will find you beautiful due to the essence of your being, due to all that makes you human even if it leaves marks on your skin. Those men, on the other hand, will only find you..taintable. A little project of senseless purity that they get to ruin. An object that they get to break. Once that happens and your so-called innocence is gone, so is your beauty in their eyes. You hold no beauty, only potential future ruins and that's about it. So they can take you apart and readjust you until you don't recognize anything about yourself.

So, instead of putting your head down directly on a gillotine of awful men's perception and desires, perhaps put your mirror down first, get off of socials that encourage this idea and meet yourself. Let yourself become whoever you want to be because you can be so many things. I know it feels discouraging and it's scary to feel or be seen as "old" or "used", but frankly, anyone who ranks people by such standard isn't really the most reliable source now, is it?

Sorry if this was too "poetic" or all over the place, but I really wish you could understand that there is so much more to you and "purity", "innocence", "youthfulness" are all things made up to shame women for existing, lol. (regardless of whether you are sexually active or not since those are usually representing that, but I know what you mean when you say it)

So, please, just try looking into your essence with your own two eyes and your own heart and finding yourself exciting and interesting as you are, instead of losing your life away looking at yourseld through shallow eyes of weird men who don't see further than what might be under your clothes. You are much, much more than that :) <3

and, word "old" isn't a bad word, so don't treat it as such, no need to at all :)

#stinkyanswers #🍒 anon <3 #i am sorry if i am not the best source #and if i am a bit too poetic #but it makes me sad and angry that women constantly try to fit something so irrelevant and made up concept that holds no true weight #but it makes us feel heavy with shame and guilt because we are not always perfect #they say how women can and have to make even death beautiful #even our own death #please don't waste your life away for such things

[studiofelix]

Little Guys that Look Like Me: Loving Myself by Proxy

There are few scenarios where a twenty-something with low self esteem would create something physical in their own image. At 20, I would have sooner eaten bird seed than intentionally made something to look like me. At 21, I found myself doing so, lovingly and painstakingly. It changed me.

It was a first-time-meeting-you-in-real-life present. I crocheted a small doll, no larger than four of five inches in height. I switched colors as I crocheted him, navy for the hair, peach for the skin, pink for the shirt, teal for the pants. I sewed a few flat pieces to his head to look like the fringe I had at the time and lovingly stitched “I <3 U” onto his chest.

It felt strange, blasphemous almost. In the same way young Catholics are told not to take the Lord’s name in vain, I hadn’t dared to create an honest and sincere depiction of myself since the 9th grade. And even then, the portraits that I had drawn at that point had a critical and angsty air to them, but in all fairness, can you really expect anything different from a fourteen year old?

My limited and self-deprecating journey in self portraiture had met its match: creating a simple, happy mini-me for someone I loved, a lesson in carefully crafted self image.

Anthropomorphism: assigning human emotions and traits to inanimate objects. This was a tendency I had growing up, have now, and will have for the rest of my life. It is carefully woven into my experience of growing up as a late-diagnosed autistic, my experience of navigating the world in a limbo state of partial understanding and uncertainty. The dolls, stuffed animals, virtual pets; they are often cast aside as unimportant and unworthy once a child has outgrown them. This makes perfect sense to the average adult. They are not human, not even animals. Their insides are plastic and polyfill and tiny, unsophisticated PCB; they do not bleed and die as we do.

But imagine being human and feeling those things so deeply and fundamentally without knowing why. Your peers are better than you; they make friends easily; they do not struggle to find understanding in each other. You, on the other hand, have had trouble—have been the trouble—in some capacity in nearly every interpersonal relationship you’ve had. This story is not new to you, reader—whether you’re the protagonist, villain, love interest, bystander—you just didn't know that you've been playing a part. I see these objects as extensions of my experience; I can’t stifle the thought of their plight.

I continued crocheting my mini-me, Pocket BF, as I called him. Suddenly he had a face, and this was what gave him feelings. I looked at him. I pet the side of his face as I sewed his hair into his scalp. “Almost done,” I said to comfort him. A mirror image of myself, but one that I now held inexplicable affection for instead of unremarkable, everyday disdain. I didn’t want him to hurt. I wanted him to be happy. He didn’t deserve to feel sad.

Despite this seed of self-love (if you can call it that), there was a disconnect. This love I had for this little guy that looked like me, confusing and paradigm-shifting as it was, did not transfer to my feelings toward myself yet. And as I wrapped Pocket BF in tissue paper, placed him in a box, told him he’d be out soon, and wrapped my gift to my soon(ish)-to-be ex-fiance, the spark of this near revelation would be buried for a while.

Obviously it didn’t work out. When you’ve been engaged for two years with no plans to get married or move in together or even to the same state, the writing is on the wall in a dull and uninspiring script, and it’s been there so long that the paint is starting to chip. Although I must confess, I do partially blame myself; there is a very specific intersection of youth, stupidity, charmingly trite dedication, and earth-shattering codependency that will possess you to propose to your long distance boyfriend of one year. He will dump you over text, the day before valentines day, almost exactly two years later, so don't make my mistake. You've been warned.

The absolute beacon of wisdom and mental fortitude I was (or wasn’t) at 21, aside, the unceremonious and, dare I say, absolutely out-of-pocket-cruel discarding of our relationship that he doled out a few years later devastated me. He’s not a bad person; I hope he finds happiness (and therapy. My God, I hope he gets therapy); I wish him well; etcetera. I coped the best I could, ruminated on everything I could have possibly said or done wrong, cried and cried and cried, standard breakup stuff.

One of the things that helped to carry me, though, was my special interest in a certain video game pairing. They outlived our entire relationship; they were there with me when it began, and they were still there as the rubbled ruin of it began to grow flowers through the cracked stone. I tend to pick a character that I see myself in and project onto them. My art of this character began as pretty on-model; he was very recognizable as his canon self with the only main differences being a matter of style, a few headcanons here and there.

This was at a time in my life where I had started to gain weight (think the freshman fifteen if it was a year later and also fifty pounds instead). Looking back on it now, this was only the natural course my body chose to take. The thing that no one tells you about testosterone therapy is that it quite literally turns you into a carbon copy of your father. My young, twink body softened into a round ball of a belly. My hairline began to recede. What I believed was the result of these objectively neutral changes was actually the result of deeply rooted, internalized fatphobia and a general fear of aging.

I so badly wished to be skinny again. I wished to look like my favorite character again. I wanted it so viscerally that I shuffled through diet attempts and would-be exercise programs in a desperate Hail Mary for a fleeting look akin to a starving Victorian boy.

In one of my nearly daily bouts of self-pity, I said out loud that I wished I could draw Felix, this character I loved and saw as myself, as fat. I had started drawing his partner (well, the character who should have been his partner) as fat, and I was able to get away with it without much pushback from the fandom. And then I had the cartoonishly obvious realization that actually, I could draw whatever the hell I want literally for the rest of my life.

This, honest to God, changed my life. No longer was I drawing this character as the unattainably skinny little twink I wished to be. I drew him to look like me. I gave him rolls and a stomach that protruded out past his waistline. Later on, I’d start drawing him with freckles and a receding hairline as well, hair on his shoulders, round cheeks.

I drew him loved. I drew him happy. I drew him confident in his body and in the space he took up. Broadly speaking, it wasn’t received well. I lost most of my engagement and a lot of my Twitter audience. A hoard of people whose fatphobia was conditional but still there; you could make some characters fat without a problem, but touch the designated fandom twink, and you might as well have deleted your account.

What came from this petty loss, though, were a select few who loved my Felix. A handful of people who felt seen by my art, seen by the care with which I drew these characters, with the realism of fat bodies drawn lovingly—not realism in the sense of style but realism in the sense of believability. I drew (and still draw) them so they feel real. I draw them in a way that I hope makes people like me feel at home.

This healed my self-image by leaps and bounds. Despite the discretely sour reaction I got from most of Twitter, I did find brief and minor Tiktok fame from making tutorials about how to draw fat people. When I draw Felix and Sylvain, I treat them, and ultimately myself, with the love and care deserved. He is another little guy that looks like me. And I loved him dearly. I still do.

My self esteem still needed work, though.

Six months ago, I picked Tomodachi Life for the 3DS back up. I got the game when I was a teenager and played it religiously for a few weeks before losing interest and cycling on to my next video game fixation. I would pick it back up a few more times sporadically over the years—this is the nature of how I play video games. In Tomodachi Life, you manage an island of Miis (Nintendo’s primitive customizable characters that date back to the Wii). You feed them, interact with them, buy them clothes and apartments, and watch their relationships form and change and break. The game starts with the player creating a character that looks like themself—or, how the game puts it, their look-alike.

My look-alike from this play through naturally looked drastically different from my previous play throughs. I made him look like a cute, low-poly version of myself. I made his voice sound as similar to mine as it could within the bounds of 2013 video game technology. I gave him a pink, sparkly apartment theme, dresses, shirts, accessories, his favorite foods, etcetera. I pet him on the head and listened to what he had to say. Just like Pocket BF, just like Felix, I felt a massive amount of love and affection towards him, different than before but still so much the same. This reflection of me could talk; he could walk around his little room. He got married to Sylvain. He had kids with him. He could tell me he was glad we met.

And he could tell me he missed me. By chance, I neglected to check on him for a few days while solving problems for the other Miis. When I tapped on his room, he came towards the screen and said something like, “My look-alike! I haven’t seen you all week! How have you been?”

A feeling of guilt washed over me. How could I have abandoned this little guy? This little guy that looked like me? Had I hurt his feelings? Had I made him sad? He seemed alright. He walked around his room while swinging his arms back and forth. And I soon realized, how could I feel such empathy and kindness towards him, but not feel any of that toward myself? Here it was, my empathy for inanimate objects, friendly pixels, and downright apparitions, in a violent coup against my own self hatred. I am not pixels on a screen or a handmade plush or my idea for what a video game character should have been. I am a living, breathing creature who bleeds when I’m cut. I am a person who has feelings, a person who does not deserve the pain I’ve caused myself by my own hand. I deserve the love and care that I show these self portraits, these vignettes of my simplest self. The rabid beast of my most complex self deserves it as well.

How many times have I looked at myself in the mirror and picked at my skin, picked at my image, picked at my actions, my voice, who I am, the very fabric of my fragile little existence? Too many, and yeah, I'll probably do it again. But maybe instead someday I'll greet myself with a smile, with a "My look-alike! I haven't seen you all day!" With a gentle touch, one reserved for a handmade gift. And maybe this one won't get put in a closet or given to Goodwill, or whatever ex-fiances do with iconography of their past. Little guys that look like me are my past. They are my present. And, although the battle is only halfway fought, they taught me how to love myself by proxy.

#i wrote this a few weeks ago but didnt know what to do with it so here u guys can read it #please do if u have the time i like how it turned out #misc #txt #my writing #i dont really know how to tag this uhhh #self love #love yourself #i guess

[spookydicks]

So, uhhh im really proud of this fic I wrote and its not really getting seen on a03 so im posting it here soooooo here ya goooooooooo

it isnt much, but it is enough for me

Matilda Bradbury, no, Laudna had been working on a special project for a couple of hours now. She was hard at work sewing bits of red thread into the body of a long-dead rat. She grabbed the bird skull, which she found on the floor one day, and sewed it to the body. To complete this creation, she took a piece of ribbon and tying it into a little bowtie around the creature’s neck, covering the thread. Once she was done, Laudna held the creation up to her, creating ichory strings from her fingers, and pondered to herself.

“Hello, little friend! I wonder what I should name you…. All good friends need a name, you know.” She thought for a while. ‘What about…”, she paused, Pate? Does that sound good?” Laudna tilted her head. “Oh, I have a better idea! What about Pate De Rolo? That sounds right for you. Alright, it is done!” She extended her arms while holding the newly named Pate De Rolo. “Your name will now be Pate De Rolo! How wonderful! We’re going to be such good friends; I can feel it now!”

She looked around her quiet hut. “You must be wondering where you are. Here, let me show you around”, she said melodically.

“This,” she started, “is where you were made, my little crafting spot! That’s rather obvious, I know. I like to call it my “Crafting Corner.” Isn’t that delightful?” The undead crafter showed off each little knickknack and trinket on the table: needles, thread, fabric scraps, scissors, ribbon, and other such materials. The needles, pins, and fabric scraps were their own homemade container. Each container was unique and made of wood. The buttons container was painted a dark blue with a little doll on it made of buttons. The pin container was painted silver with little bits of red coming out of a drawn-on hand. The fabric scraps container was painted blue with a drawn-on tree on it. The drawn-on dress looks as if it’s hanging from the tree. The table itself was made of wood, with lots of little holes in it, probably from many hours of crafting.

“Oh, don’t mind those. Nobody said crafting was fast, you know.”

Fabric scraps, ribbons, and needles surrounded the table floor.

The typical environment of a crafter.

“This” she pointed to an old mattress on an old, creaky bedframe that acts as her bed. The blanket is worn wool with what appears to be black stains on it. She likes the feeling of the wool on her skin at night. It reminds her of the blankets she used to have at her old home.

Before……..

That night……

That dreadful night….

“This is where I sleep. It may not seem much, but it’s comforting when I need it to be. Oh! That’s my pillow. It may not be the most comfortable but, it does its job. Since, you know, a pillow full of leaves isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing in all of Exandria.” She chuckled. “You know, I’ve had many a dream on that pillow: good ones,” she paused, somberly, ‘bad ones.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Well,” her chipperness returned, “moving on!”

Laudna and her little newly made companion moved on to the kitchen area. “This is the kitchen! It’s a pretty sad excuse for a kitchen, isn’t it.” She motioned towards the small kitchen. It consisted of a small, rusted stove, a medium-sized sink, with a water basin and soap next to it, and wooden and rusted cupboards with miscellaneous ingredients and seasonings inside. “This is also where I do laundry. Oh! I apologize for the mess. I’m not used to having company!” She babbled, putting away the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“Moving Ooon!” She sang.

“This,” she pointed out, is a common area of sorts.” She motioned to a space in the middle of the cottage where two chairs and a little carpet lay, surrounding a small fireplace. “Do you like that rug? I made it myself.” Laudna grinned. “I heard one day the town was having an outdoor market of sorts so I decided to go! I was wearing a cloak, of course. The townsfolk don’t really…’, she paused, playing with her elongated fingers, “like me. They think I’m the witch in the woods and are all like She’s scary! She’ll get your children! Get her out of here! Pitchforks! Blaugh! Soo………” She said, playfully, eyes widening with every word.

After a hesitation, she chirped back up.

“So, I met a delightful woman who was running her little…shop. She was human with quite a warm disposition. Her daughter, I noticed, was sitting on the floor crafting. “

     "Hello, little one!,” Laudna said calmly, kneeling down to the child’s level.

    “H-Hi” The girl hesitated, wide-eyed.

    "What are you making?”

    “Um….”, she paused, “a teddy bear.” “That looks quite adorable! I’m a bit of a crafter  myself, you know. I’m thinking of making a rug.“

     “C-cool.” The girl said. She gets up and goes to her mom.

    “Hello.” The woman said. “You need rug fabric?”

    “Yes.” Laudna replied.

    “Well, these,” she said, carrying a stack of various fabrics in various colors, “should be  good to use. Any of these would make a great rug.”

    “Thank you, madam. I’ll take all of them. You can never have enough materials for           creativity, you know.

     The woman chuckled. “I understand. You never know what you could make.”

The payment was made and the woman said “Thank you. Happy crafting!”

“Once I returned here, I immediately started designing! I sat in that chair and got to work. It was rather soothing. I made sure that the fluffy side was facing out. That is the proper way to make a rug, you know. I mean, who would like to have a rug with the non-fluffy side out?”

“I’m going on a bit of a tangent, I apologize, little friend.”

“You know, I don’t just use this space for crafting. When it gets cold, I sometimes read a book by the fire, bundled up all nice and cozy. It feels warm, ironically enough.

‘Well,”, she concluded, “that’s it! No, it’s not extravagant or fancy in the slightest. But it’s home. It has all the basics. But, I have something to tell you, little friend. What this little cottage in the woods doesn’t have, it makes up in comfort. It makes up in creativity. It makes up in heart.”

Home.

Laudna had heard that word many times when she was fully alive. Home was the cottage she lived in with her parents. Home was Whitestone.

But, home was also the other children in her village. The children that mocked and teased her relentlessly. The children that made her feel like the dirt that was thrown at her by Whitestone Andy. That jerk.

Home was also the Briarwoods Castle. Home was being told “You’ll feel at home here” at dinner. Home was being bruised and beaten. Home was being tossed on a cart and hung on a tree. As a warning no less. Home was having her very own murderer in her head.

Laudna never really knew the meaning of the word, really. This very cottage is one of many “homes” she’s made for herself. With every town, it’s the same thing. Move in, get discovered, gain a horrible reputation, get chased out of town by an angry mob. The cycle repeats.

It always repeats.

“Pateeee, would you like to hear a story?” She paused. “Alright then. Sit down and get comfortable.” Laudna took her blanket and wrapped it around herself and the dead rat as she opened up a book, and started to read.

Somehow, even with the screams and jeers of the people outside, even with the bright light of the torches outside her very door, Laudna feels home.

For now.

#critical role #cr laudna #cr fanfic

[leorawright]

Hello! Could i request a romantic tf2 matchup please?

-I’m a heterosexual/heteroromantic woman

-my pronouns are she/her

-im a Mexican woman who’s slowly gaining confidence in herself and her capabilities! Im pretty antisocial, but get very excited when I get to talk about a topic i love and enjoy extremely! I tend to have a hard time making friends, but deeply cherish the ones i do have. I try to be as creative as possible whenever i can, which includes trying to be more optimistic in my outlook on life. I tend to overthink a lot, but only to find different ways to get through a problem or situation. People have told me that I give off a very serious persona, even some telling me Im like their mom or even “45 years old”, but honestly i just have a different way of thinking. I tend to examine life though many means, either psychological, literal or spiritual, and often find myself lost in thought. Other than that, i just enjoy talking about my interests whenever i can and just trying to be a better person every day.

What i look for in a partner:

-i look for someone who listens to what im saying and feeling - meaning that they take my feelings to heart and actually listen instead of trying to fix the situation, putting in their own personal opinion as a way to fix the situation, trying to fix me, or just ignoring me in general.

-im a pretty sensitive person, so i want the kind of partner who compliments you when you do something right/are proud of instead of someone who will call you things like b*tch or something like that (its just not my kind of thing)

-i want someone i can trust and will apologize when they do something wrong instead of making an excuse to avoid the blame when deserved

-someone who will stand up for me and teach me how to stand up for myself when someone or something is trying to bring me down (basically a supportive bf)

-i have depression and anxiety, so i would love if they would find different ways to comfort me when im not at my best

-ive never been in a relationship before, so i want someone who will make me feel safe and secure with them as well as remind me that its ok to not know how to do things and help me when I feel embarrassed or ashamed of it

-i have many insecurities about my body, more specifically how people point out how skinny i am, my poor posture, messy hair, and especially how i never smile that much (its hard for me sometimes for some reason), so i want someone who will make sure i am loved in a way where I’ll actually learn to love myself step by step

-sometimes i feel like there’s always something preventing me from having someone like me romantically (either my personality, appearance, interests, etc), so i want someone who will make me feel loved no matter what im into or what i look like

My hobbies:

-i love to draw! Ever since the 5th grade, ive been drawing almost every day, specifically characters from tv as well as my own! I grew up always loving cartoons and animation, and hope to one day go to art school and hopefully get a career in animation! I specifically love 2d animation since i grew up with it and tend to adore movies and shows from the 1980’s-2000’s that show the different types of animation accomplished within those years.

-i love watching old cartoons from my childhood! Whether it be Hey Arnold, Invader Zim, or Spongebob, i always enjoyed watching the characters on screen, even becoming inspired to hopefully make my own animated series one day!

-ive been learning to sew stuffed animals and dolls for a few months now! Its been really fun trying to study different patterns and making my own little dolls of my favorite characters!

-i love Space! Although i dont know much about it anymore, its always fascinated me how beautiful the solar system can be. My favorite planet was always Jupiter, and whenever my family used to visit Mexico, I would be captured by the beautiful scene of stars dancing among the sky. It was as if it was so pretty that even merely touching the solar system would make you pretty too!

-i love to listen to music with basically everything i do. Whether it be drawing, getting ready for the day, going on a drive, or going into a store, im always playing music through my earbuds. It helps to calm me down, which is definitely needed for me. My favorite bands are Ninja Sex Party, j^p^n, Tom Lehrer, The Dreadnoughts, Shadow Academy, System of a Down, and Falling in Reverse to name a few!

-i like to listen to comfort audios every now and then. These are basically audios where your put yourself into a scenario with another person (aka “speaker x listener” format). These audios can range from “slice of life” and “domestic settings” to things like “talking with your local barista” and even “alien saves you from your dying planet”. It can get pretty creative, and can honestly bring great comfort when i need it most!

-i like listening to musicals, with my taste mostly residing in musicals people most likely havent heard of before. My favorites at the moment are “Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier”, “Something Rotten”!

Hope this wasn’t too much lol, but thanks for the opportunity!

Okay I really appreciate all the information you gave me and I was stuck between two mercs so I did both and you can pick which one you like better!

For the first Merc I've picked

Demoman!

Demo is definitely one of the sweetest people and one of the most in touch with his feelings

He does things pretty spontaneously so he doesn't give you a chance to overthink

He listens intently whenever you tall especially if it's about what you do and don't like

He'd never insult you and he always tries to see your point of view on a situation

He's smart enough to recognize when he's wrong in an argument and he'll apologize

He's super supportive of anything and everything you do

You: *breathes* Demo: YEAH THATS MA S/O!!!!

He couldn't care less about how you look

You could have just woken up and he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous

If he could he'd spend hours watching cartoons with you since he absolutely loves them

You and him go stargazing some nights to just relax

Please show him your music tastes he'll listen to every song of your favorite artists

He's such a musical theater nerd and you and him gush over different musicals

Or if you're looking for someone I bit more thoughtful I'd suggest

Heavy!

Whenever the world feels overwhelming and you feel so insecure Heavy will be right beside you to tell you you're beautiful and to shield you from the outside

He does research whenever you two have a disagreement and he comes to you when he realizes he's wrong to apologize

He always waits to think about what you feel before he says anything

No one can say anything bad about you bevause Heavy is standing behind you and daring them to say it again

For him, looks don't matter in a relationship but since he knows you're insecure he goes out of his way to give you a different compliment about your outfit or hairstyle every day

Sometimes you two draw together even if it's not Heavy's speciality

Long walks at night are one of Heavy's favorite ways to bond with you

He does research on your favorite musicals and he'll definitely take you to some of them as a surprise

Hope these were okay! I tried my very best and thought about each Merc carefully for around 10 minutes!

#tf2 x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #matchups

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I feel like I've been lied to. I'm still kind of new and did lots of research before hitting the buy button on a doll. Decided on a minifee Chloe after SO MANY people told me that minifee were the best for poses and engineering. Plus everything seems to be made for them, so they must have been good to be so popular, right? But this girl was way over my budget so I did a long layaway to afford her. Kind of liked her when she arrived but Fairyland faceups are so expensive and I regret getting her blank to save money. I'm also too scared to send her head off for a faceup so she's only had my bad attempts. Then I started finding faults with my first doll and I didn't find myself doing much with her. She doesn't like to stand without her hips going to one side all sassy. I'm almost positive one of her legs is slightly longer than the other! And she doesn't pose like I was led to believe.

A doll friend I met on Instagram suggested I try this or that but I never really felt like I liked my Chloe. All the selection of artist made stuff for her is so expensive and the bust and body sizes confuse me since most things I see are made for specific bodies? I could barely afford this doll so no way I could afford these expensive artist outfits for her too. Chloe has worn the one ok looking outfit I've managed to hand sew after months of failures. Anyways, it took almost 2 years but I finally saved up for another doll after almost calling the ball jointed doll hobby quits. I bought a "cheap" doll, a Mystic Kids Lillian. With faceup, wig, shoes, and clothes she was HALF the price of this damn Chloe blank, and arrived so much quicker. And I've finally found that love for a doll I so desperately craved. I'm really upset that I started out with a "popular" doll that I hate more as I play with my Lillian. A popular doll that has SO MANY issues now that I have another doll to compare her to. I'm only complaining here because I still see people recommending minifee to new people in the hobby or those with small budgets. Why are minifee held on such a high pedestal?!

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #BJD Sculpts #BJD Fashion #BJD Newbies

[justaskmyself]

Another Day

I couldn't remember when it the looming shadow followed me, but what I do know was that it always appear when I'm feeling sad. Like getting the question wrong when I raised my hand or coming home to see that both of my parents are already home. It's fine when one of them is home because at least there's talking. But when both are home, they never talk to with each other. I always hated it when it's quiet in the home. Quiet either means the people in the house are asleep or they're angry. Usually it's the latter.

And so I stay in my room whenever things are quiet. Because at least my room has music playing from my phone and there's always books and comics I could read to keep me occupied (If I have no homework that is).

Luckily it was a saturday for me. Dad went off to work and Mom stayed behind to clean the house and cook. As for me, I stayed in my room playing some video games on my phone. Mrs. Fajardo was kind enough to not assign them any homework for the weekends. And while most of her classmates went out together at playgrounds and malls with loving parents. I'm at my room loading up one of my favorite games.

Sky: Children of the light was a game I discovered when I was looking up games that are related to the little prince. As such they reccomended me sky at the peak of the season of the little prince. Out of curiosity, I downloaded the game and I have been a player since then. And can you blame me? The world of Sky is just so beautiful and peaceful (So long as you don't venture Eden and Wateland). It's a thriving community full of kind, helpful and funny players. Sure there may be ups and downs but you can't have good things without bad things.

And most importantly of all. I made a friend in the game, and her name is Peony. I met her when we were in the Golden Wasteland, struggling to relive a spirit with the dark cape, but together they completed the entire Wasteland until we ascended to Orbit. Ever since then, we've been inseperable, the best part about this was our interest too! We would talk about comics and books until our phone is low on battery; Candle run together until our candles turn gray; we even played music together. I was the flute and she was my pianist.

"I actually play the piano irl lol." Peony mentioned it to me one day, and I thought it was really cool to have a skill like that. To keep the conversation going, I mentioned to her that I like sewing clothes for some of my dolls. She thought it was cool too! And that she wishes she could see the outfit. I bashfully warned that my sewing wasn't exactly good. And she sheepishly understood for Peony admitted to not being good at piano either, but she's still learning. I'm still learning, so there will come time that we will be good at our craft!

Sadly, as I got on the game. There was a message boat waiting for me from Peony.

"Hey! Sorry but I'm not going to be able to join for five days. My parents are forcing me to practice the piano more T~T Please pray for me!"

That was all it said and I couldn't stop myself from feeling sad that my friend won't be here with me when we do Daily Quests. But it's not like it isn't the first time I've done this alone! And Peony would hate seeing me sad, she'd want me to keep being happy while she's away for her piano lessons. Now I have to stop moping and do the quests!

Admire the Sapling in the Hidden forest; Relive the casual stance; Catch the light in the Hidden forest; and recharge your light to a jellyfish. Seems like an easy task! There's no social quests either, making it perfect for solo players like me! But first I need to visit the geyser at Sanctuary. I do my my candle run and quests like any other day. Today's playthrough as well went really smoothly. I didn't encounter any bad players and players who refused to help with player doors. The massive plant in the Graveyard was also burnt when I got there. Making it easy to collect the wax.

Once I was done with the candle run and the quests. I end the day off by sending Peony a heart. Personally, Peony doesn't have to send me one if she can't afford it. The heart is meant to be a gift, not a trade and I racked up a at least thirty hearts anyways so it's not like I'm short on it. It's just sad that I have to leave the game early. As one of the beauty of sky was that you can play with your friends. But that magic is out my reach thanks to Peony's parents. Leaving me nothing to do again. Oh well, there's always books. I feel like reading the little prince today, and so I walked over to my oak bookshelf and picked up the small little book.

"I wish I could be reading with a friend with the same interest." I spoke to no one in particular. Unless you count the looming cloud over my head again. I told myself to not think about it and just go back to the world of the little prince.

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox."First you will sit down at a little distance from me — like that — in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day. . ."

Words are the source of misunderstandings. . .

The words of the fox hung heavy on my mind. More specifically on how it relates to Sky. When you make a friend, you don't get to talk to them until you've upgraded the friendship branch. So as a means of communication, we rely on the emotes we learned from the spirits of the land. Sky kids do a lot of stuff without talking. We put our trust in our friends to be able to guide us, we communicate with dtrangers through how we express out emotes. We also draw a crowd if we play good with the instruments. And it's only when we trust each other would we unlock the chat system.

It may sound tedious, but I think it's a neat feature. It's an old cliche, but there's a reason actions speak louder than words.

Dinner came just around when I finished the book. The little prince is a relatively short story and anyone can finish it within a single day really. That's why I'm now out of the safety of my bedroom and I'm now at the war zone that is the dining room. You can imagine my relief when I only saw my mom there setting up the table.

"Sweetie! You're just in time, come sit down and we can eat." My mother lovingly smiled. I do not dare ask her where Dad is like any other normal family would. But if I have to guess, Dad is probably upstairs working hard like the work bee he is again. He'll eat later when me and Mum are finished with our meal. Tonight we're having steak and mashed potatoes. It tasted okay just like any other dinner.

"So how was school?" Mum asked. I finished taking a sip from my glass of water first before answering her "It's okay I guess, it's just like any other day."

"I see, then how is your progress with making friends?"

This again? I just plainly answered again "I don't need friends at school. I have Peony."

"And there's nothing wrong with that sweetie! But don't you think it'll be more fun to have friends to hang around with in real life?" Mum was aware of my friendship with Peony, as I wouldn't shut up about it at first. But now I learned to never start the topic of friends unless it was my Mum who started.

She'll never admit it, but Mum is extremely worried about me having a friend in sky. A result of reading too many horror stories about online strangers, and I honestly couldn't blame her for being worried. I don't even know what Peony looks like, I mostly rely on our chats for info about her. At least info about what she told me about her. All I know is that she's my age, lives in a subdivision and that she plays the piano. And that's pretty much it.

It's a scary thought that Peony could be lying to me, but it's a thought I have been wondering for a long time now. I pretty much prepared myself in case something like that happens. For now though, I just want to bask in the joys of friendship while I still can. And I would be lying if said I didn't wished and hoped that Peony was telling the truth.

"I guess so." I agreed with Mum on her point.

I found myself back in my room again. With an open window and myself staring at the night sky and allowing the spring breeze to cool my skin. And from all the stargazing I've done, I would always wish up at the night sky for something unattainable.

"I wish my parents would talk to each other."

"I wish I don't get stage fright."

Then comes the morning sun and nothing would change. It was just another day. Another day of silence and another day to stumble my own lines when presenting a report. Making it obvious to the normal person that wishing on stars is but a fairytale for little toddlers. But I'm not normal, I don't have parents who converse with each other and I struggle to breathe when I talk to my classmates. I don't even know why I keep wishing on a star when nothing happens. Why is that so? I'll never know.

"I wish for a friend."

I wished before I head off to bed. Expecting nothing much when tomorrow comes.

The sun rays of of sunday morning came to greet me from my empty sleep. No dreams or nightmares what so ever. I sat up from my bed to stretch my arms, a yawn escaping from my lips as I did so. Time to start another day of staying in my room. I got up and headed to my window sill to open it so I could feel the cold morning breeze knocking on the glass.

. . .

I felt my heart stop when I saw a little brown cloth on my window sill. An item I didn't even leave there last night. I always put away my fabric before going to bed, and looking at it as I got closer I'm sure that I didn't even own this shade of brown in my collection. What's wierd was that it also looked like a round lump. And if I didn't knew any better, I would've mistaken it for a little sky moth huddled into a ball.

And just as I thought that, a head popped into my view. It was the head of the brown lump. It had white hair and wearing some sort of ceramic mask, and it spoke in tiny little voice.

Honk

#fanart #sky children of the light #sky cotl #art #digital art #digital fanart #skychildrenoflightfanart #literature #fanfic

[lusciakoushiro]

August Part 1

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, there were three projects that I wanted to get back to and perhaps finish;

The first was the first custom doll I attempted; Very Merri's streaming mascot, Lami. When I had first worked on her I was so excited to start that I didn't bother waiting for some of my materials to arrive. Now I'm not saying you need the best of the best to even attempt this kind of craft, but having something of a little quality will save you the headache and heartache. For those who might not know, in order to do a face up to remove the original paint with acetone. After that you could repaint the face with acrylics or build layers with water colored pencils. Seeing Dollightful build those layers I knew thats how I wanted to do it. I had ordered the same brand she had used and was awaiting them, but I was too impatient with my excitement that I opted to use the lesser ones I had, those being the Artist Loft brand. I did what I was supposed to; removed the paint, layer three layers of Mr. Super Clear and start, only the colors weren't building up at all. I had I think seven layers with nothing really showing before I said f it and went to my paints. I broke three out of four of my needles doing the reroot as well. Part of this project originally was to teach myself how to sew, but I just couldn't wrap my head around it and with where I was living at the time I had little space to work in. It was actually quite discouraging, so I gave up.

The next project was a sculpture of my friend's FFXIV character that I was trying to make for Christmas last year, using Nerdecrafter's Not Another Crap Kit. Now, I've never really worked with polymer clay, only air dry, so this was a challenge in of itself and I foolishly didn't bake it to save my progress and let it sit so at one point things just fell off. I fixed it, baked it this time and thought everything was okay, only to have it topple over one day and break so it once again needed repairs.

And the third I never actually touched, but have had the bade for four years and thats the DIY Funko. I always knew I wanted this to br FFXIV Lus, but I could never settle on the look. First it was my look from Stormblood, then I went DNC main in Shadowbringers and was gonna do that, only to fall in love with my BRD glam and go back to BRD main. I have multiple versions of Lus as the Miqo'te through my years of playing, but I realized that this was the perfect opportunity to make my Lalafell version that I fantasia into during October.

So with plans in motion I started to work on Lami, with the idea of flipping between her and the statue for my friend, but Lami took up a lot of space so I was unable to.

After doing Celes the way I did I didn't feel the need to force myself to sew and instead made a base for her to sit on and sculpt onto her.

I made an armature out of foil in the shape of a snake and glued Lami's legs together. Now I am telling you right now, this Disney princess doll was the worst base I could have chosen all because of those damn vinyl legs! Because of the weird flex they have, I had a hell of a time gluing them together.

Once the glue dried I painted her legs with multiple layers gesso and began to use my air dry clay to make the snake.

He's derpy and I love him. You cand see I also painted a wooden plaque to attach him to cause he was a little top heavy.

In this time I sadly had disaster strike... twice. Remember the chibi of Luscia I made on the BRD swing? Well somehow I managed to yank the jump ring through not only the plastic, but also the resin.

Not wanting to trash it I turned it into a standee using one of the test coasters from the Hythades standee as well as the botched flowers from the Lotura dome. And the other was sadly my Zack and Aerith snow dome.

This one had come out so well and I loved shaking it, so I was shocked to see the resin layer peeling off of Aerith. I managed to break the seal and drain the liquid only to find the situation was much worse. The resin had become bendy and I'm not really sure how or why, but I have seen two possibilities. The first thing I read said that ot might have bern too humid when I had applied the resin. I did dome Zack a day or so before Aerith so that could be why his doming was still in tact. He is leaning like Aerith which does lend to the humid theory since I attached them the same day I domed her. But let me flash forward to early November, now, I have no real reason to shake my Lotura dome since the micro glitter all but disintegrated and the stars just stick to things, but I for some reason I decided to pick it up and shake ut only to see my plastic piece of the characters wobble, so they too had a problem like the Zack and Aerith one. My Sheith one still stands like a rock and I attached it and the Lotura one the same day, so why?

Upon some more research the glycerin and the resin don't play well together. But if that was the case, wouldn't Zack and Lotura's doming peel off too? And what about the thicker resin pieces like the life stream or the flowers? Since I can't find a clear answer this put the plans I had for doing a Sheith giveaway for the domes on hold.

As saddened as I am to see my work crumble, I'm more fascinated as to why it happened. If anyone knows, please feel free to drop a comment.

Needless to say I didn't let that stop me from moving forward.

#my art #ff7 #final fantasy vii #snowglobe #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #miqo'te #bard #doll custom #clay art

[questinwitchface]

ok so from your WIP Game

Two Big, Blonde, Bearded Himbos Discover They're a Little Queer

fucking iconic title we love it

Peter/Oli - No Bad Decisions

PETER !!! AND OLI!! SDOJGAS

basically all of your writing projects sound so cool and so do all of your other art projects

like,,, nerd vest? bi pride skirt?? avenger dolls??? askSJOdjsjZIS

i would love to learn more abt the wips u talked abt if u have the energy to share that's all thx <3

Okay, you asked for a lot of them (thank you for being interested!), so I'm gonna try to keep the explanations short so this answer isn't a mile long lol.

Two Big, Blonde, Bearded Himbos Discover They're a Little Queer is a Steve/Thor fic. I don't have much of it written, but the premise is basically that Thor and Steve both think they're straight and discover that they are not. Steve realizes he's feeling some kind of way about Thor's sparkly eyes and freaks, so he goes to Sam and Bucky for help. Meanwhile, Thor figures out that he's not squeezing his gym bro Steve's biceps platonically, so he goes to Valkyrie and Loki for help ("Can you just... wake up one day and realize you're attracted to a man after thinking you were straight for a couple millennia?"). Their friends try to help them get together, and it's really just a bunch of awkward fails and confusion lol. They get together at the end tho. (Also thank you, I'm really super proud of this title 😊)

Peter/Oli - No Bad Decisions is a spin-off of Pride Brought Us to Bad Decisions that takes place during Peter's sophomore year at MIT, when Oli ends up moving in with him, Ned, and MJ. Cue the cute Oli/Peter romance. Idk if I'll ever actually write this one bc I always feel kinda weird about making OCs a main part of a fic, but idk. I really love Oli, and I liked writing Peter like this, so whether it's popular or not, I'll probably end up writing it eventually. I love them. 😅

Nerd Vest is a white denim, cropped vest I bought about a year ago on clearance at my favorite store, and I've been slowly and surely doing nerd shit to it. I'm currently working on some Avengers-themed embroidery along the hem, which is slow-going because I have embroider and denim is thick. I have plans to acquire patches to sew on and pins to pin on it, and if I get really brave, I'll pick up some fabric medium and maybe attempt painting on some designs, but idk about my paint skills, lol.... Nerd Vest!

Bi Pride Skirt is my attempt at crocheting myself a skirt. It's basically like 15 purple panels I plan on joining together with pink and blue, and doing a pink waistband with a blue scalloped hem at the bottom. Idk if that makes any sense for people who don't crochet, but, as usual, I'm making it up as I go along, so idk how to explain it better yet. I only have the purple panels made right now.

Avenger Dolls are little crochet dolls (I think they're technically called amigurumi or something like that?). I found a pattern book and kit thing at Barnes and Noble 2+ years ago, and it only includes like 8 character patterns, but I'm pretty sure the patterns are adaptable for other characters if I dedicate enough brain power to it. So once I've finished the first one (I misunderstood the pattern on the first attempt and the result was 🥴 not great, poor drunk-looking Steve), I'll figure out how to make myself a little set of my favorite little characters.

I'm sorry that was so long. Hopefully each thing was interesting enough. I know you said you're interested in all of it, but explaining all my WIPs in one post felt really gratuitous lol. Thank you for asking and being interested! 😊

[yyumemika]

A Premature Burial Episode 1

A Premature Burial 

Episode 1

Season: Winter

Characters: Kuro, Nazuna, Mika

(The next day. Near the entrance to the residential area at Starmony Hall) 

Nazuna: Absolutely not… 

Kuro: Well how about this, can you just say yes anyways. I’ll bow my head and ask politely— No, aren’t we closer than that? 

Nazuna: Yeah. Usually I’m happy to hear out whatever Kuro-chin has to say but no means no. 

Kuro: Why? You’re not naive enough to be embarrassed about wearing eccentric costumes, are you, Nito? 

Nazuna: That’s true, but… 

Even though I’m an adult and starting to look like I'm turning 20, sometimes I look at myself in cute shorts and think ‘what am I doing’.

I can’t help it if that’s the kind of idol “Ra*bits” are, I agreed to that. 

Kuro: Oh, in that case…♪

Nazuna: You’ve got it all wrong! What upsets me is having to wear women’s clothes made by my friend Kuro-chin!? 

I said no! It makes me feel weird! 

Kurou: I-It’s not weird! Don’t say things that ruin my reputation! 

Why are you so reluctant about it? I’m only asking you to try on the costume I sewed for my little sister! 

Nazuna: Are you saying you don’t understand why that’s unnerving to ask of a guy who’s the same age as you~!? 

Isn’t your little sister still in elementary school or something? Sure, I’m known for being cute, but I’m a mature adult man you know~!? 

Kurou: It’s fine! Nito can do it! 

My sister is just like me, so she keeps getting taller and taller, and the costume might be too short, so Nito can wear it! 

I believe in you! Nito! 

Nazuna: I’d rather hear you say that in a completely different situation?! 

Right! I’m done talking! I’m uncomfortable so I’m going back to my own room! 

I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that as part of our friendship, so you should take a walk and clear your head too! 

Kuro: Don’t say that, I’m begging you, Nito~...

I’ve noticed my sister is getting really fashion-conscious recently, but all the clothes and accessories she wants are stupidly expensive.

With our economic situation getting out of hand, I just thought I’d sew them myself. That way it’ll be cheaper. 

But when it comes to clothes, you can’t tell if they're good or bad until you’re actually wearing them. So, please? You understand, don’t you Nito? 

I’m begging you… I have no other choice, Nito. 

I shouldn’t be saying this, but all of the ES idols are built well, with good proportions. Being so small makes you a valuable resource. 

The world might be wide, but the only person I know that can fit into an elementary school girl’s clothes properly— is Nito. 

Nazuna: Can’t you just buy a mannequin…? 

Kuro: Oh? I haven’t seen you like this in a while, your eyes are glazed over like glass balls.

Nazuna: I didn’t want my eyes to glaze over again like when I acted like a doll for “Valkyrie” during such a stupid scenario but… 

Mika: …! 

Kuro: Oof? Hey, look forward when you’re walking. Are you hurt? 

Mika: …

Kuro: Hey… Are you gonna bump into me without even saying hello? Did something happen, Kagehira? 

Mika: Nnah? Ah, sorry Ryu-kun-san? My mind’s gone all blank…! 

 Kuro: What’s the matter… Are you in trouble? I’ll listen if you need to talk?

Mika: Nnah? No no, I can’t bring Ryu-kun-san into this—

Ah, but Ryu-kun-san is Ryu-kun-san, right? 

Kuro: Ah? That’s what I was called as a kid, why are you using it now? Itsuki hasn’t called me that in a long time? 

Mika: Oh yeah! Ryu-kun-san is Oshisan’s childhood friend? That’s why it’s Ryu-kun-san, right? 

Kuro: I don’t see what you’re trying to say… Did something happen to Itsuki? 

#raison d'etre #ensemble stars #enstars #kuro kiryu #nazuna nito #mika kagehira #english translation

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hey! Would you be able to tell me about my future spouse? Anything at all.

Sending good vibes your way🧿✨.

Hi! A reminder to please not send in multiple asks. I’m pretty sure someone has been spamming for readings (not saying you are anon). You don’t need frequent readings. Please don’t ask for readings more than quarterly or if you are going through a spiritual emergency. I’m here to help but also like, don’t abuse my generosity! There are other people my energy is meant to help as well.

🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿✨ 🧿

Spirit, what do you want anon to know about their future spouse?

You are looking for someone to complete you and to give you the love you are meant to give yourself. Do you see that? You are rejecting loving yourself, that is why you feel so hurt. That hurt is self rejection. And you are merely mirroring internally the rejection you feel externally. Our wounded pieces are merely pieces of ourselves we refuse or don’t yet know how to love. Your job is to learn how to love these pieces, how to re-integrate them into your life and to allow them to heal and remeld with the whole of you.

Have you looked into parts work? You should. Because you are fragmented right now, pieces of you are not connecting and that is why you feel out of sorts and like things don’t make sense. Your energy is scattered all about. You need to call your parts home and welcome them like long-lost friends. This is your focus for now. When you can say truthfully you know the multitudes you contain and can call them by name, then you will be ready to hold the power you know is meant for you. But until then, this is your main focus.

Future Spouse Message:

You are so powerful, can’t you see? Why would you focus on me when you’re so fucking kick ass? I can’t accept you when you don’t accept yourself. You and I both have spent so much time trying to “fix” our “broken” parts instead of loving all of who we are. We are not broken, only fragmented. We just need to sew it up and become a rag doll, bring the pieces home.

I’ve been working through my grief. I lost a parent young and it’s always left this gaping hole in my life. I’ve been trying to bring back that lost piece of childhood, that lack of love I felt. It’s been really painful. Therapy has been helping but it’s not easy work. I’m ashamed of the way I’ve contributed to the collective pain when I was in my own wounding. Have you atoned yet for the pain you’ve caused others? Atonement isn’t about guilt, it’s about accepting your responsibility in a never ending cycle we all face as part of humanity.

Even without the intention to harm, we can harm others. I’m starting to make amends. Reached out to some exes, old friends, just to ease my conscious. It’s been a really beautiful experience. Some people have grown so much. Some I get to see again. (Feeling excited). I’m so proud of myself and happy with all this work I’ve been doing (almost bouncing up and down with joy). With each step I take, the load of my past becomes lighter and I feel freer. I can only wish this jubilance for you too.

I love you. You don’t need to worry about if you’re loved. You are, but not yet by yourself and that breaks my heart. I hope you know when you reject yourself, you reject me too. I hope you work on this. I know some of my work is pulling you through, but I can’t do this alone. Where are you? (Feeling frantic now, stressed, I feel like they’re worried you wont meet them where they are, deep breathing) Talk soon.

Card Pull

Chakra Exploration Deck

Spirit, what chakra can anon work on healing to help them get on the path to their future spouse?

It took a minute for these to pop out and to me that is telling me that you need to learn to listen to your inner guidance more.

Root Chakra—what things currently drain your energy? How can you release them to honor your somatic wisdom?

Mantra: I honor myself by honoring my energy and no longer subject myself to what doesn’t enliven my mind, body & soul.

Crown Chakra— what self limiting beliefs or thoughts are keeping you small and suffering?

Mantra: I allow myself to dream beyond the confines of my current circumstances & welcome radical expansion in all forms.

These cards go hand in hand with the reading. The first card is saying that part of this parts work you’re being asked to engage with is also about releasing energy held in the body. I’m not sure if you know about trauma being caught in the body, but Mastin Kipp talks about this a lot. Moving your body can help you release some of this. Part of healing the root chakra is also listening to your bodily cues. Sleep when you are tired, eat when you are hungry. Try to listen to yourself more.

The second card pretty much confirms what spirit and your future spouse are saying which is you need to focus on healing yourself right now. These limiting beliefs are what keep parts of you stuck in suffering. Working on learning to control your mind and thoughts and shifting them into a more positive state will do wonders for your life, not just how you feel, but what can match your energy. You need to uplevel.

Your future spouse is very wise in the message they’ve given. And to accept their own place in the collective consciousness of pain. I hope this reading helps you! Would love to know if it resonates. 💜

#channeled message #future spouse #channeled reading #soul mates #soulmates #soul connection #soul connections #free tarot #free readings #tarotscope #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #tarot reader #energy channeling

[6ftkyle]

not really sp related but what got you into crocheting? is there any other types of crafts that you do or would like to do? :3

ive always been interested in it, esp amigurumi in particular, but i had a very hard time self-teaching. i had also at some point when i was younger tried to teach myself to knit and i could NOT figure it out, so for years i just assumed yarn crafts and i were not meant to be. i could figure out how to chain but i really couldn't get any further than that.

but in late 2019, i started having dinner with my grandma once a week, and to give us something to do after i cooked for us, i asked if she'd teach me to crochet. she's taught other family members and friends, and i thought maybe i'd learn better with a live demo and someone to tell me what i was doing wrong. she taught me the basics, i got really into making simple blankets when the pandemmy hit in 2020, and then i fell out of it pretty quick.

then earlier this year, i decided to get back into it on kind of a whim. i had a lot more free time and i bought a kit for making a crocheted flamingo, figuring it could help me learn now that i knew the basics. it did NOT! it was more confusing that guides i had seen online.

but i realized i had never bothered trying to watch a youtube tutorial for it, which is like, almost embarrassing, because i am learning shit from youtube all the time. i watched and crocheted along with this video

and was able to make a successful ball and from there i just went nuts. i was able to finish the flamingo (a gift for my mom, flamingos are her ~mom animal~) and found the aradiyatoys south park patterns and decided to give them a go as something to keep me busy while mal was at work when i was visiting them. i'd kind of like to redo them now that i'm better at crochet, but the last thing mal needs is duplicates of stuff ive already made orz

as for other crafts i do, i was doing figure painting on 3d printed guys for a while, as well as bedazzling them (where my icon comes from, actually), but i haven't touched that in a while. i also have a button press ive been getting a lot of use out of lately and i like to make keychains with shrink plastic (be kind, my art is 4 years old here). for a short while i was doing shaker keychains with resin as well. i also took a studio art class where i learned how to make paper, do embossing/debossing and how to carve plaster. i would LOVE to do another plaster carving but i don't have the materials at home.

i do this thing where i fall in love with a craft, get deeply obsessed with it for a few weeks, then see a youtube tutorial for something else and move on to a new craft. the fact that ive stuck with crochet this long, is a bit of a surprise to me, but im just very deeply in love with it right now and i think its here to stay for a while.

im also adept at sewing plushes! and i'd like to get back to that, i haven't sewn anything in a long time (i dont even have any examples of my plush work to show, it's been that long 😭) but first i need to reorganize my work space so i have room to lay out fabrics and cut them. i have a couple projects i'd really like to sew, but i need to figure out the pattern for them first.

im also upping the level of detail i can get on my crochet dolls, by incorporating needle felting! my friend sent me this video and while i'm not felting over entire dolls like this, it's been a godsend for adding small details. i'm working on a commission with tiger striping right now and needle felting has completely changed how i decided to approach that project and it looks much better for it.

i've always deeply respected crafting, and i LOVE to see people doing fandom related crafts. like don't get me wrong, i also deeply respect illustrators and authors, but there's something really uniquely special to me about seeing someone channel their love of a piece of media into crafts that are written off as like 'granny activities'.

for crafts i'd like to learn, i am so so so into the idea of customizing dolls. it's basically an amalgamation of a lot of crafts and skills i've already done, and at the end of it i'd have a dolly of my special little guys (i am constantly rotating the idea of making a doll of my next gen oc CC. shes so special to me). i did 3d print a doll and string it. i got as far as making & inserting the eyes and making a wig cap, but i never finished the wig because i lost my straightener so i can't make wefts for it.

as of right now, i'm really only focused on crochet though! it's my income at the moment, so i can't afford (literally haha) to get distracted from it

a huge thank you and a lot of love to anyone who actually sat there and read thru this whole thing lmao. i love crafting so so so much and i am always willing to talk about it with anyone who will listen. esp other crafters! please show me your crafts, show me your wips, tell me about your processes, i cannot emphasize how much i love hearing about it all.

#ty for this ask #i amso passionate about crafting you really enabled me here anon #kzask #kzpost #crafts