#I think one of the more alienating experiences for me growing up

[that-ineffable-devil]

Long post incoming, but I've been on and off it for days so you're gonna see it.

On Charles and Love

I think there's a lot more to Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession than what we may first assume.

Charles loves harder than anyone, but I don't think he even knows what it means or feels like to be IN love--or to be loved back. This isn't a dig at Edwin, so don't @ me. This has to do with Charles' past.

When Edwin first confesses on the steps of Hell, Charles doesn't even hesitate with his response: "Great, love you too, can we go now?" He does love Edwin, one way or another. He hasn't needed to examine that love any further. He doesn't think Edwin could mean it that way, because Edwin probably has never given any indication of feeling that for anyone. Perhaps he didn't think Edwin capable of love in that way. Perhaps it's his own repressed sexuality. Perhaps it's the feeling that he is inherently unlovable. Perhaps it's a combination of things.

On Edwin's and Charles' Repression

Look, Edwin is clearly autistic and heavily emotionally repressed--he's British, from 1916, and male. That's the perfect storm of emotional repression. But he clearly feels and feels deeply--he just doesn't always let on about it. (Which is such a nice thing to see for autistic representation, the "unfeeling alien" trope ain't it.)

And even though they've been together for 30 years, they clearly do not talk about deep emotions much, because it makes Edwin uncomfortable and Charles probably wouldn't manage to get much out before cracking a joke instead--it's his defense mechanism.

As for his own repression, Charles grew up in the 80s as a biracial kid with an abusive father. He was also at least questionably queer while alive: he was part of an alt crowd, wore eyeliner, and wore a single dangly earring. Now that doesn't mean for certain he's queer or questioning, but it IS a pretty common code in media and storytelling. And I imagine no small part of his father's excuses for abusing Charles had to do with "beating the queer out of him." Of COURSE that led to repression--how could it not?

On Feeling Unlovable

And the feeling that he's inherently unlovable? Does he really feel that way? I think so.

He wants it. He wants to be loved so badly. And because of that, he tries so hard. He tries to stay light and happy and kind, even when he's suffering underneath--he has his own flavor of emotional repression. Because if he can't be loved, he can at least be liked.

And he doesn't just want people to like him, he needs them to like him, because he needs to know he's likable. Because there's safety in being likable. There's safety in being funny and friendly and "a good sort of chap." It's proof he's not the monster his father was--the monsters his friends were. It's his shield. The shield he uses to protect himself from the world, yes, but also to protect the world from him. Or at least, who he thinks he is, deep down.

It's also, in his mind, his only chance at being loved. His only chance at staying loved. Because love is earned. Because love is the reward for good behavior. At least, that's how it was as a kid, right? And that's all he knows. He died before he could experience any other kind of love--besides the love between himself and Edwin, which is its own complicated matter.

The other difficult aspect of growing up in a household where love and affection were weaponized and where violence is an acceptable reaction to anger, is how it radically alters your perception of love and family.

You crave the love and validation you never received, but you also fear it and don't believe it's real when it comes without strings.

You struggle to identify love in healthy relationships because if it doesn't hurt, then is it really love?

And even though you crave it more than anything, you're afraid of it. You're afraid for things to get real, because real love--or your understanding of it--is dangerous.

Because love is a weapon and you can't bear for anyone to use it against you again.

Hurt People Hurt People...Sometimes

Trauma manifests differently in each person. There are some commonalities, but it's never exactly the same. I know the saying is "hurt people hurt people" and that's not entirely wrong. But sometimes, hurt people heal people--or at least try to. Charles is in the second group.

Charles never, ever wants anyone to feel the kind of love he knew while he was alive. So he paradoxically loves openly while remaining guarded. His loyalty and devotion are unmatched. He went to Hell for Edwin. But he also never told Edwin the truth about his father until essentially forced to. Because that involves vulnerability. It involves, in his eyes, weakness. And what did vulnerability and "weakness" get him in life? Well...dead.

But he craves reciprocation. He needs to feel like he can be vulnerable, safely. I don't think that Edwin has done anything to make him feel unsafe, but being that they're both emotionally surpressed boys killed by other boys for perceived weaknesses at 16 and the lack of a ghost therapist...it's not all that surprising they haven't dealt with their issues in 30 years.

I think this is why he latches onto Crystal so quickly and easily. Firstly, she's alive: he can at least pretend to ignore his own death for a bit. Secondly, she's his age (sort of) and can see him, which is an uncommon experience at best. Thirdly, again--she's alive, so it can never last--never be real. Either she'll age beyond him, or she'll die and likely be taken to her afterlife. Which he'll happily ignore for the first two reasons.

On Types of Love

I won't get too into this, because I'm in no way an expert in the wide variety of emotions attributed to love. But I will say this: Charles died at 16.

If we set aside the possibility of him being aromantic for now (which he absolutely could be), he may never have had the chance to fall in love while he was alive. If he could even recognize it for what it was. I mean, I'm in my 30s, been married and divorced twice, and I'm still not sure I've ever been in love. At 16, you're drowning in hormones and it can be hard to decipher feelings.

On Arrested Development

If you think about it, his death and subsequent ghostly afterlife are a supernatural version of the arrested development a lot of child abuse survivors experience. But his development arrested literally--he literally CAN'T grow up. At least, not physically.

He may have had 30 years to address his issues, but why would he have thought to? He doesn't have the same responsibilities or needs as a living adult. He's constantly on the job or on the run from Death, he's living with Emotional Repression the Person (my beloved), and frankly...it hurts to examine those problems. How many adults are actively avoiding their own issues?

On the Confession

Edwin, with the most heartwrenching tone of voice since David "I would like to spend" Tennant, makes clear that he's IN love with Charles. And for a moment Charles looks like he's been walloped in the gut with an iron bar, trying to process. But then the trauma-brain kicks in.

He finds the first "logical" explanation to someone (Edwin) telling him they love him: it's a literary reference, and Edwin is...maybe not "messing" with him, but maybe being extra dramatic about this? It can't be real.

But then Edwin gets upset--he's serious about this. And Charles sort of...short-circuits. He can't process this right now, not when they're running for their afterlives. Not when the Night Mother is waiting to split them up. Not when he's barely even begun to process his trauma. So he does everything he can to make sure Edwin knows that, no matter what, he loves him. Maybe not in the same way, but with the same depth.

Because they'll have time. They'll have all the time in the world to figure out what this means. Because they certainly don't right now, and everything Edwin is saying flies directly in the face of every opinion Charles has ever held about himself.

And what the hell is he supposed to do with that?

#charles rowland #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #paynland #payneland #cw: abuse mention #cw: trauma mention

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt: Valentine's day spirit. Superbat edition.

When Phantom sets foot on the Justice League base many years later, he expects anything but not Flash pointing finger at him and screaming about "legendary child who made Superbat canon".

~~~~

Being in Metropolis because of a ghost hunt right in the middle of a battle between Lex Luthor and Superman was not the best outcome, especially considering that Jack had his three-year-old son with him. But without such a combination of circumstances, they would never have found out that "Ghost!" "Daddy, no!" Ectoblast that Jack shot at the target of their hunt touches Superman and..really hurts him.

There were two sides to Danny-the ghostbuster's son and the astronerd. It is clear which half of him did not have a chance to win.

Danny threw his space rocket toy aside and grabbed father's arm. In the next second, boy had already sunk his teeth into Jack's fingers, forcing him to drop weapon. Youngling quickly jumped off and picked up ectoblast and then ran towards Superman. "Fly away! I'll hold him!" Danny stood up to try to cover up ghost (or alien?) in case Dad took not one but a whole bunch of shooting things with him again.

Jack: Get away from my son, ghost. Superman: Sir, I'm sure this is some kind of misunderstanding, I'm not a ghost. Jack: Danny, come to me, he's trying to hide his identity and manipulate us. Danny: No. If the heroes are being attacked, then someone must protect them too. Jack: But he's a ghost.. Danny: Alien or ghost is not so important, Daddy. He's in pain, and he's protecting this city, not haunting it. It's wrong to try to catch him for experiments. I forbid you to do that. Jack: Danny, champ, you're wrong.

Lex: Hah, what an interesting substance. Despite the other aggregate state, or rather its absence, it is so similar to kryptonite. Superman: Lex, is this a portable lab? Now is not the time, in case you haven't noticed. Lex: There is always time for science. I think my colleague will agree, right? "Similar to kryptonite?" Jack muttered to himself.

Jack: So Superman wasn't my target. And we are not colleagues. There is only one insanely rich man with questionable moral values with whom I am ready to do work, and your surname is clearly not Masters. Lex: It's a pity, but still, if you want to carry out the delivery of your wonderful weapons or exchange experiences, then call this number. Luther quickly shoves a business card into Fenton's hand. Jack*throws it away*: Come on, son, let's go back to the hotel, you've skinned your knees.

~~~The Evening. The Roof of the mentioned hotel~~~

"My friend Sam is also very frightening. And she also likes dark.“ The boy paused for a minute of thinking. “You want to kiss your goth friend?" "W-What makes you think that, kid. We’re colleagues, I respect him very much and.." "So you want to. It’s okay, I’d like to kiss Sam too but I’m afraid she’s gonna hit me. You have the same problem?" "It’s a little more complicated for adults." Kal begins to explain but stumbles upon Danny’s completely unimpressed look. Yeah, this boy apparently has heard 'kids would understand when they grow up' lectures at least thousand times. "But you’re basically right."

~~~~

When Batman himself comes to their hotel the next day as a representative of the Justice League to make sure that Mr. Fenton has no desire to harm Superman in the future and to tell that Superman is not going to press charges because of the ectoblast that injured him, Danny refuses to leave the room.

Jack: Oh, Danny, I thought you dropped your space rocket yesterday, it's a good that Alicia's Christmas present isn't lost. Danny: Well, dad, I left it on the roof of a bad bad man, yeah, but Uncle Kal returned it last night and we talked for a while. Jack: About what? Space, my little star? *Father immediately assumes that Danny would like to ask about everything real alien*. Boy*blushes and shakes his head negatively*: No, not about it.

Jack: Then what it was about? Danny: Secret superhero things. I can't tell you. I agreed to withhold that information as part of a pinky swear. Batman: And what about me, young man? You can tell me, right? Batman couldn't resist talking with such a cute kid. The boy thinks only for a second before hurriedly trying to push his father out of the room. Danny: Dad, come out for a minute and don't eavesdrop. I'll tell you when you can come in. The big man laughingly obeys. Lil child checks the reliability of the closed door and runs up to Batman. Danny: And so, Mr. Batman, first promise not to laugh or hit Uncle Kal. Batman: I promise? Danny: Good. This is very important information. Batman: I'm listening.

Danny: He thinks you're terrifying and wants to kiss you. And since he is afraid that you will hit him for this, I recommended him to appease you with a pie cooked according to his mother's recipe. Well, you know, since you love sweets and his parents' farm has the most wonderful apples in all states. He rarely cooks himself, but he will try for you, so even if he doesn't succeed, pretend that you liked it, please. Batman:...

Batman: Would you like to work in intelligence for the Justice League when you grow up? Danny: Actually, I want to be an astronaut. Batman: Our base is located in space. Danny:

Danny: Hmm, then I'll think about your offer.

Batman: Great. It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Fenton. You can count on a job recommendation from me. Do you want anything as compensation for your consultation? Danny: Actually, yes. Mr. Batman, tell me honestly, are you a bat on a frugivorous diet like Giant golden-crowned flying fox or you are a Vampire Bat? Sam says that such a big bat can only be a vegetarian and uncle Kal said your son was more than happy to steal strawberries from his garden with Superboy but..

~~~

Batman tries to behave naturally for a week. However, the sweet tooth inside him still makes him clamp Superman in the corner and question him. "Where the hell are the pies you promised to cook for me, Clark?"

#dpxdc prompt #dpxdc prompts #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #dc x dp #superbat

[trollbreak]

Why is dari the bitch on the brain at bedtime so much lol

#u could threaten her and if it was creative she’d actually encourage u to try just to see how it goes. she’d offer u some sinew as a #souvenir if u manage to kill her for a while. she visits a lab to get all the blood drawn from her for experiments bc she couldn’t really #care less. her hair marks just how much she lets herself be carried by her anger when it arises. she got banished to an alien land and #rather than trying to go unnoticed she went ‘hey I bet someone would pay money to watch me fight let’s see where we can do that’ and if #there’s something dangerous that needs doing she volunteers over some of the folks she’s around a lot bc the worst she’ll get is a few new #cool scars that will be entirely too hard to find in a couple years #she spars with an assassin who she has a crush on and she jokes about doctor crimes having a magnet for ladies that should be dead #she used to be a god and likes to make jokes about that and then never explain that factor to anyone. she picked a fight with enough other #gods to get kicked out and delren got caught in the mess. she has problems sleeping alone and is determined to pick up a craft hobby one of #these days but hasn’t gotten around to it for years now. she’s more annoying than evil despite originality being intended to be a villain- #she just landed closer to nuisance despite thinking herself a full blown problem. if she had the chance to grow into her divinity she would #have been one of the deities of the dead and she can see ghosts but only a little bit and usually just assumes the light is weird and hasn’t #realized that’s ghosts. she loves sitting dramatically with a mug of coffee but doesn’t like how coffee tastes and yet is too stubborn most #of the time to sweeten it. yk?

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI

[HYBRID AU]

18 +

PART 6

Take Me Home

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Hybrid Bunny, Hoseok/Assistant medical.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, medical procedures and curse words, suicide attempt (not detailed only mentioned).

Word count: 12k

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

< previously Final >

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. .

Hybrids lived between us in our human society for a decade already, it was nothing new our society’s view of them had changed dramatically over this years. It wasn't something that stared out positively, at first many people thought the hybrids were some kind of alien and not so surprisingly feared them to the core. it was more of a understanding that was needed in order for us to change our view of the unknown. I was one of the few people who decided to fallow this path, i knew it wouldn't be easy but i had Jin beside me and he played a big part into the reason i became a doctor of special beings. I loved every part of my job as a doctor at the clinic. For years nothing has ever shocked me ever since i began my own work here, having spent almost my whole life working with Jin we grew up together here. No one could understand me better than him.

Shocked? That was an understatement.

To say the least i could nearly put any thought into sense. My mind seemed to still be under process after he spilled the most outrageous thing he could to me, i could feel my entire body run cold under his stare. I was hoping this was some kind of joke of his, the moment couldn't be more perfect for it - right? - but the more i searched in his eyes the more worried i became, there was no shade of entertainment on his features and it hit me like a brick in the head, he was completely serious about this.

Mouth opening and closing repeatedly as no words came out of my lips.

What was there to say?

He just claimed that the impossible had happened.

As much as i would like to believe in him, the situation just didn't make any sense. Many studies had shown how hybrids couldn't impregnate a human, one would think that as hybrids that would be a false affirmation since they were "half humans" but although they had human DNA their bodies the cell's structure that differed them to us were well… completely ‘different’, with both DNAs in their genes their animal genes "treated" the human genes almost like 'pollution' once in contact with another's "pure" human genes. Once a hybrids human DNA is a genetic modification of our DNA, for a hybrid and say a "pure" human to be able to conceive another being it was like mixing oil and water, they simply don’t mix together. I remember being disgusted at one class in medical university were that topic was first brought to me - the thought of humans searching for such possibility mean some people wanted to have such relations with the hybrids and all i could think about was the negative side of that - it was said that many exams and tests were done with hybrids to make sure they could be increased in number but after many years of research the hybrids simply didn't responded to any tests with humans, we simply didn't catch their radar to say the least.

The informations about the very first hybrid was also something no one knew about it, we just knew they are here now and have been for years already.

I had my conclusion in that moment that Jin was completely out of his mind and probably lying about this.

I could feel Jin's hands slowly began to let go of my shoulders sliding them down, he looked down before taking a step back.

- what? - I breathless said, almost not recognizing my own voice.

- I know is crazy but... - he nervously said, running his hand through his hair.

- Crazy? Jin do you have any idea what you are implying here? - i ask him completely staggered.

- I know but.... - he sighted - i found records for old experiments done...

- Jin why didn't you told me before? Why would you wait so long and just spill everything over me now out of all time? - i could feel myself getting heated, none of this was making sense and things had just gotten more complicated now.

- I'm sorry y/n.... I heard what you and Yoongi were talking about and... - his words brought heat to my face, embarrassed I looked anywhere but him - to be honest I've been noticing how you both were acting and I knew something was up.

- Jin, shit I don't even know what to tell you.

Here i thought i was being smarter when he knew everything all along, i was beginning to wonder if anyone else had notice anything going on with me and Yoongi and that thought brought Hoseok into my mind. I knew he’s been very skeptical about Yoongi and it made me question if it could’ve been because he knew about us.

- Is okay, y/n… i know what kind of person you are and i trust you wouldn’t do anything that could compromise the hybrids safety - he replied softly - I'm happy Yoongi has you by his side actually.

- Why would you be okay, though? I just broke the protocols, i.. i don’t know what I'm supposed to do to be honest Jin - i finally tell him.

- i can let this slide this time specially since i don’t have any right to judge you, when my father went against the rules I couldn't do anything to stop him before and I didn't even knew Yoongi was my... - he sighted - I didn't even knew I had a brother.

I looked up to meet his eyes feeling as the weight of the world went down over my shoulders, we both have been through so much in this past week and I couldn’t even begin to imagine what Jin must’ve been through all by himself. Finding out you have a brother who’s not even human and how your own father went overboard bad towards him for years torturing him, i can’t imagine which was worst to him and as his friend i couldn’t help but feel somewhat bad for not knowing to support him.

- Oh Jin, - i reached to hold his hand, holding it tightly before continuing - I understand you and i know you must feel like shit now but you should've told me that, you know you can always talk to me.

- I was planning on it and it definitely wasn't going to be like this but, you guys were getting intimate there and Namjoon just texted me saying he's coming to help with Yoongi - he explained softly - I thought you wouldn't want to have him find out like that.

Once he was done explaining i was the one feeling completely dumb, of course Namjoon would be coming soon. I should've thought about it before making any more decisions that could affect both Yoongi and me, my emotions got the best of me in the heat of the moment. I was once again blaming myself for being well… human, in some way i felt so weak when it came to Yoongi it was so unfair honestly how such a being like him ended up having so much power over me. I had tried so hard ever since i first meet him, it was unethical to let such feelings as “love” rise for a hybrid in a place where i was supposed to care for him, professionally.

But the heart wants what it wants, the most irrational and innocent thing a human can do is “love” and to love and be loved are things some can only experience once in a life time, some get to love and some get to be loved. To have both is a treasure.

It felt crazy to me but i no longer wanted to hide my feelings for i had no bad intentions, so unfair how my heart choose Yoongi to love.

Now this entire situation with Jin and Yoongi, I couldn't figure out what i was supposed to do.

- God this is crazy - I leaned on the wall, a long sight leaving me lips.

Nothing was making any sense anymore, I couldn't believe anything Jin was saying and i just couldn't find the background for it to make any sense in my mind. Amidst that i found the courage to ask the thing that was almost burning my head in confusion.

- how are you two... related?

Jin gave me a knowing look before taking his place beside me on the wall, after a long breath he looked up at the ceiling before talking.

- My mom once fell in love with a hybrid too.

His mom?

Jin never talked about her, i only knew what everyone else knew at the clinic. That she had left a long time ago when he was very young so he grew up with his dad, having no contact what so ever with his mom afterwards.

- Oh. I thought you didn't knew her very well, you said she left when you were younger right? - i asked.

- Yeah, but recently I've been doing some research on Yoongis case since i needed to collect proof that my dad was taking advantage of his powers at the clinic and to finally take my father away from the clinic - a sight left his lips.

I was surprised to hear that he would be taking legal action against his father, no matter what he did he was still his dad after all. I couldn't say i wasn't happy about it thought, if we keep letting things like this slip out it will only grow bigger and end in the most unfortunate ways.

- Jin... - i looked at him from my side, this whole time he seemed to be doing fine but now that i took a good look over his features, i could see the tiredness at the lines of his face the eye bags begging to form.

- I know but this has to be done, he needs to pay for what he did to my brother.

- Well I can't argue with that - i looked at the wall in front of me, the emptiness of it and no traces of color did nothing to help my overthinking - is that why you've been trying to help Yoongi this whole time?

- Yeah... I was searching for old documents since everything started years ago we had no updated data of treatment or what so ever of him and I found ... my mother's diary - he paused for a moment before a small smile filled his face turning to look at me - her story reminded me of you two. She meet a black mamba hybrid who was brought here for recovery and he hated everything and everyone too... except her.

- Well that does ring a bell or two… - I shyly looked away for a moment. Thinking of Yoongi and it seemed the grumpiness runs in the family.

- I'm sure you must be wondering how this was even possible - he said, i nodded at him finally the one million question - trust me i too have no idea.

- What? But how do you know he truly is your brother?

- I have the documents of her pregnancy with him, all the exams she took at that time… everything leads to him - he said, a dark cloud surrounding his soft features this time - she was part of the research about hybrids and humans being able to reproduce and... she succeeded, with no one knowing.

Once again i was punched with shock right in the gut, completely dumbfounded. For years I studied the same theory at university and years complimented by my colleagues how assertive my assignments on the impossibility of humans and hybrids reproducing for today, i be proven wrong.

- I couldn't find anything on the research though, it seems everything about how she was able to have Yoongi disappeared - Jin continued, i could already feel the engines on my head burst open as i took in every words coming from his mouth - i found some of my fathers old records it says that after some time she couldn't bear the child anymore and had some problems with the pregnancy and due to that she had to give birth to him too soon.

- I see, so regardless of the impossible being possible she did end up having complications to bear a hybrid - i said, the engines in my head no longer bursted open but begin to work out.

- Yes, he had to be put in a incubator - as he said that he furrowed his eyebrows a clouded expression on his tired features - I remember when i was younger she came home sick and for months she didn’t even left her bed, in that time she never told me anything but it seemed my father only found out about my brother when she was rushed to the emergency that time. When she couldn't hide anymore.

- So she was doing this and no one knew about it? - i asked shocked - it makes no sense, how could hide such thing?

- It wasn’t for long actually, a normal pregnancy would take almost a year but, she mentioned in her diary how it seemed to be moving faster then a normal human pregnancy i’m certain it was due to the hybrids advanced genes and after three months the complications begin to grow and she couldn't hide anything anymore.

Complications would be bound to happen, from years of research on that matter nothing was positive from the begging of a hybrid pregnancy and many complications were reported after the tests. We were not made to carry a hybrid being, our human bodies can only afford to give much and a hybrid requires more then a human body can offer. It goes beyond anything we know.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter how many tests and research we do, we still know very little about them.

- What happened to Yoongis father?

- He was... put down after my father found out. It truly was a miracle that mom got Yoongi and it doesn't make any sense but I have a few theories - he said, making me smile at him. That was the Jin i knew, always having a few cards under his sleeve - I have to do some research to be sure thought.

- I see.... Oh my god Jin, how have you been going through all of this alone?

- I don't know I was just hopeful. I have a brother who doesn't seem to like me much but is okay - he just brushed it off.

- That’s not true, Jin I'm sure he likes you deep down he's just .... - i paused, mind finally putting thoughts of the snake hybrid together - he feels a bit threatened, i think it might be because of me.

- Oh, that's why? I understand he must feel that way specifically since you're human and not a hybrid like him, he must duel between his feelings and instincts as you’re different then him.

I nerves once thought about it like that, I had been so caught up on my own thoughts and emotions I didn’t even thought for a moment how that situation could be affecting Yoongi. Of course things wouldn’t be exactly easy for him, he had a completely different perspective of our relationship then i did. But all I did was judge based on his hybrid personality i didn’t think for a moment he would be so considerate of me for I’m just human.

- is unusual for it to happen like that? - Jin muttered, pausing for a second as if noticing what he said - for like both sides?

- I know, we are away from being normal - i gave him a slight nudge on his side, trying to ease the tension.

- I just wanted you to know that it had happen before - he confessed.

- What exactly?

- Hybrids and humans - he said - Yoongi is proof that is okay if hybrids and humans love each other. After all they deserve it too right?

- I'm just... I don't know Jin, I've been told my whole life it wasn't normal it feels weird now but, I...i love him.

- I'm glad you feel this way about him, he never got the chance to meet mom so I'm truly happy you are the one taking care of him.

- yeah, they do.

His words brought a comfort to my heart i knew i was needing, I’ve been feeling so guilty over my feelings for Yoongi even now that i knew he felt the same way about me. Everything felt so different, like something so far away from reality it certainly does not feel like a normal day and I was sure it wouldn’t even from years from now.

Especially when you spend half your life learning about this beings and grow a career to help them, everything seemed impossible at first that a possibility was never once considered, but now even as i was in the eye of the hurricane i still couldn't believe that it was happening.

- Also, Namjoon will be here soon so you should go back in and calm Yoongi - Jin said, leaning away from the wall to stand in front of me watching me with a apologetic face - I'm afraid you guys can't go farther than a few kisses for a while.

- Shit Jin! - i exclaimed, cheeks burning in heat as i hit him in the shoulder many times - How much did you heard!?

- Don't worry. You perverted girl, he is my brother I couldn't watch that - he made a disgusted face - you should be thanking me, I was the one who turned everything off before anyone else could see it.

- Yah... oh god this is so weird now - i held my temples, trying to calm myself from more embarrassment as he just stood there laughing - but I'll go check on him.

- Maybe we should give him suppressants for a while.... - Jin contemplated.

- Yeah....

- We should talk about this later in particular - he mentioned.

- Yes, also shouldn’t we tell Namjoon? - asked him, just now i realized how Namjoon has literally been out of everything this whole time from the beginning and made me feel bad about it.

- I guess so since... I've some things in mind, it will be weird if he only finds out later - he continues.

- Yeah, wait what things? - i asked.

- I'll explain to you when we get to talk alone later.

- Oh god there's more.... - I mumble - Don't leave me out again thought!

- I won’t.

- Will you come in with me? - I sighted, looking over Yoongis door room - since... brothers?

- Oh no, for the sake of my eyes i won’t - he said lifting up his hands in defeat.

- Ya! I wasn’t- you little... - I immediately stoped as he only chuckled over my embarrassment - wait here and don’t let Namjoon enter before i make sure Yoongi is.. you know what.

- Wouldn't interrupt the love birds, you don’t have to worry.

At that i gave him once last slap on the head before turning on my heel back to Yoongis room.

I had to take a few breathes before entering the room, i had no idea how i would go from now. Things were not what they used to, i still had to process all about the new information Jin just dumped over me - Yoongi being Jin's brother. That didn't change my feelings for him though, but it brought some clarity to my thoughts and it made me realize that Jin was just trying to be there for Yoongi and despite all he still considered him his family.

I desperately wanted him to know everything but it didnt felt like it was my place to let him know Jin was his brother, that he has a family. The more I questioned that the more convinced I was that now wouldn’t be the best time to tell him, especially with everything that happened between Yoongi and his father. For now i would let that slide so Jin can be the one to tell him the truth, my only concern in that moment was how am i supposed to tell Yoongi the grumpy snake hybrid we cannot mate?

With a long sigh i entered the room, the door never felt heavier then now and i didn't know if it was all in my head but his room didn't felt as warm as usual.

- why did it took you so long...? - his voice was low and groggy sounding drunk almost.

I had to swallow hard, my body immediately responded to his presence feeling the heat embrace ever centimeter of skin under my clothes, heart racing the closer I got to him as my eyes took in his figured lying lazily over the mess of covers. It clearly did not look like that before and I felt the realization hit me in a big wave of heat. Oh, damn he was making that nest again.

- sorry, i didn't mean to... - i said, carefully approaching the hybrid.

- Hum... - he slowly sit straight at the edge of the bed, chest exposed by his opened shirt his face was slightly red, lips swollen and he looked me up with lazy eyes.

Something about his heat made him look so dreamy it was hard to concentrate on anything else when he looked like that, I tried my best to stay focused on the matter at hands which was to make him take the suppressants and cut off the mating process quickly and efficiently but, i find out that would be more difficult now that i have him in front of me then a few seconds ago before entering the room.

I continued to swallow hard, heart rate gone loose like a mad horse on an empty field. He looked so heavenly now I wanted to eat him whole, my eyes couldn't stop running to every corner of his exposed skin and his beautiful scales. The small coat of sweat over him made his skin shine even more, it was unreal how enchanting he looked. How unfair.

i didn’t know how much time i had until Namjoon got here so i kept a good distance between me and him. I'm afraid if i took another step he won't make it any easier to me - not that I would mind and that was exactly why I needed that space.

Another hard swallow from me the second he turned his head slightly to the side, eyes staring at me curiously up and down. A frown formed on his face when he realized i wasn't moving any closer, by now i was sure he knew something was going on.

- if you have something to tell me... - he began, eyes staring down at the floor between sounding almost desperate as he looked up in my eyes - come closer and do it, I can't stand you being this far away from me.

I could feel my breath burning inside my chest at his words, the second his eyes moved back to mine i was already making my way towards him. That was honestly all it took from him to have me completely at his mercy, I felt deep in myself how much I couldn’t also stay away from him. Sitting beside him carefully, I felt my body heat up even more wanting so bad to just let myself go and let his arms embrace me into his body, i nervously looked at his hands on his lap biting hard on my bottom lip as if that would bring any relief to my nervous self.

- what is it? Do you… not love me anymore? - he said, almost running out of breath on his words.

I instantly moved closer to him, taking his hands into mine.

- how could you say that…. - i assure him, breathlessly as he stole my words - I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have feelings for you, Yoongi.

- Then what is it? - he asked, face slowly softening as I called his name.

- Things have gotten a bit complicated... - i tell him, he turned completely to face me worried growing on his soft features.

- Why? That Jin director won't let you be with me? - anger showed clear over his soft features, chest moving up and down faster as he spat the words showing his clear discomfort by the other male.

If i didn’t knew they were brothers i would have view this situation differently but, now that i know everything i couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction which gain me a confused look from the snake hybrid.

- Actually... he doesn't mind at all - i tell him, seeing as how his face changed so fast at my words he looked even more confused now and it made me chuckled again.

- He doesn't? - he mumbles, blinking confused.

- Jin just wanted to let me know that...

- I don’t care what he said.

He didnt let me finished, interrupting me mid sentence. Hands holding my wrists he moved so fast i bearly had any chance to properly process what he was doing until it was too late, my hands were held above my head and he pined me down on the bed straddling my waist.

I could feel his fast breathing over my lips and just like before his skin burned over mine, i immediately felt my body gave in his touch knowingly and in complete defeat - i knew I shouldn't have gotten closer to him.

Namjoon could get here anytime now and stoping a hybrid in heat wasn't easy especially when you were caged under him and every cell in your body longes for his touch, so painfully desperate for him.

- wait... Yoongi? - i tried to call out for him but no effect at all.

I know trying to stop him would be harder even more as my will to stop him was also compromised, as he looked down at me with so much desire and wet lips brushing so closely over mine.

- I need you... - he mumbled, leaning down on my neck.

No. Not the neck.

But he knew already all my weak spot’s which made it all worse and so good at the same time, I immediately felt my body shake underneath his at the feeling of his warm wet tongue over the skin of my neck.

He groaned in pleasure holding my wrists tighter, it was getting more and more difficult to resist.

- Wait please, yoongi - i call out again, this time he stopped his movements looking back into my eyes.

- What? Did i made you uncomfortable? - he said, apologetic.

- No it's just... Namjoon is coming and he'll be here anytime soon - i explained - we can't do this now.

- I understand... but this is not something i can control y/n, you should've thought about this before coming here and bitting me - he said, letting go of my wrists.

- I know, i know... - I carefully held his face caressing his cheek with my thumbs - I'm sorry... i don't meant to hurt your feelings, i want this just as much as you do but...

- The others don't understand... - he whispers.

- They don’t.

- What do we do now.... - he murmured over my lips - how are you gonna take responsibility for doing this to me?

If it wasnt for the smirk on his lips and the playfulness in his voice, I would think he was serious in that moment but i knew it was the opposite and as much as i wanted to comply to his wishes we couldn't do nothing for now.

Not knowing if we would ever get that chance, I simply pushed my lips over his kissing him desperately as if his lips were water and I've been locked away without a single drop of it. My thirst for him was eternal.

- make sure i pay you back - i tell him, chest rising up and down against each other.

- I will.... - he promised.

He got up from above me holding a hand out for me to get up, once i did he closed his other arm around me waist. Making me look up into his eyes, he stared into mine nervously almost as if he had been caught on a lie.

I just giggled at his reaction.

- please don't tell me you'll make me suffer more by going on heat alone - he pleaded.

- What if i do? - i playfully teased, earning a serious look from him as i made my way towards the small cabinet with medical supplies.

I wouldn’t let him go through it knowing how painful it could be, for now he would be under a small dose of suppressants until we know what to do.

- if you do... - he said fallowing behind me - I'll take you now....

For the second time he had spin me around completely taken me by surprise, holding my body tightly against his. I couldn't tell before but now it seemed his heat was getting more intense as if he wasn’t before, his usual dark eyes had a more yellow color around it, his cheeks were red and his fangs were more noticeable this time.

I could tell he was getting on the edge of losing from his finger tips tightening on my waist painfully, it could be really difficult if it gets too intense.

- no matter who enters this room... - he whispered over my lips - I'll make you mine.

- I won't do anything to hurt you - I whisper back, it seemed to be enough to wake him up from the trance.

He smiled softly eyes closing slowly and opening, he was breathing through his mouth a few drops of sweat sliding down the sides off his head to his neck. Yoongi has been holding his heat for days now, i couldn’t even imagine how uncomfortable this must feel for him and it made me feel bad for starting this but the situation calls for a pause now.

Feeling his fingers slowly lessen the grip on my waist letting go of me, I turned around to get him the suppressants quickly preparing a small dose of suppressant on a syringe before turning back to him.

- this will work faster so you don’t have to suffer tonight - i explain.

- Ok... - he took off his shirt completely before I even ask, for a moment I thought he was only being helpful but the sly smirk on his lips told me otherwise

He was doing it on purpose to provoke me, knowing very well how on the edge I was.

- And you were afraid of me teasing - I mumbled, he chuckled as i inserted the needle into his arm.

- Is good to know you're affected by me - he said, I quickly disposed of the syringe before turning back to him.

- How could i not? You...

Before i can finish the door is burst opened by a nervous Namjoon and a confused Jin fallowing right behind him.

- y/n are you okay? - Namjoon rushed to me - sorry i left so quickly.

I looked over to Jin who gave me a small smile then at Namjoon who shares his stare between me and the hybrid.

- she's fine.. i didn't eat her - he said to the male, double sense dripping from his lips through his smirk as he began to dress into his shirt.

My cheeks immediately went hot a low chuckle coming from Jin which he quickly tried to cover up by looking away, the situation was somewhat different now heaving the brothers in the same room sharing the same joke.

It made me feel at ease.

- I'm fine, Yoongi is on suppressant so he didn't do anything - i tell Namjoon, earning another chuckle from Jin.

- Ok that's good, Jin told me the mating process was canceled - Namjoon said.

- Yeah, we figured is better since is what the hybrids feel more comfortable with - i tell him - don't worry Joon we’ll fill you with all the details later, right Jin?

- What? Oh, yeah, oh yes later - jin said nervously.

I only stared at him shaking my head side to side.

[…]

It felt like i was living a movie ever since i meet the snake hybrid, how could i imagine all the events that would be fallowing the moment i decided to get myself between Yoongi and the clinic. I couldn't believe everything even after we left Yoongis room so he could rest, he needed to adapt to the suppressant before we moved him back to his room so as soon as we made sure everything was fine we left to carry on our different activities. Not only he needed to adapt but i knew this would take some time before i can begin to process it, now more then every we needed to be aware of the decisions we make in this process. It did not only involve Yoongis safety but the entire clinic.

At the same time i wanted for Jin to make his father pay for his mistakes, i fear he would try to do something and make things more complicated.

Whatever may happen i was sure to be there for Jin, we still needed to sort everything out as soon as possible.

Namjoon was the most confused between us all, after all Jin had the most impact on him right after we left Yoongis room he turned to Namjoon with the more serious expression on his face as if he was on a mission.

- we have import things to discuss later.- he said with a hand on his shoulder, and the most dramatic look on his features.

- Alright...? - Namjoon was so puzzled he could bearly say anything after he left. - is everything okay with him?

- He's good… see ya?

- see ya.

I knew things were set for drama later on, but now i could tell a weight seemed to heave left Jin's shoulder - mine too now that i was sure he wasn’t bother by my feelings for Yoongi, especially since they are brothers. I was happy he was the one to know about us first, we seemed to share the same thoughts and stand together on the same page when it came to Yoongi. Jin being his only family now i was happy for him, Yoongi wasn’t alone anymore.

Things were bound to happen and secrets can't stay hidden forever, but we had each other and we have the same goal in mind.

Save Yoongi.

Not knowing my day would star with such events in the morning, i didn’t assigned much appointments for today since i would be focusing on Yoongis treatments and his mating process but now that it was all canceled the plans had changed and my schedule was more clear today, i had to make sure a day before today for any case Yoongi may need my assistance but since he was on suppressants from now i would only have to go with his normal appointments now. I found myself completely bored a few hours later after checking on my patients.

After noon i was going back to check on Yoongi when i felt my phone vibrating on my pocket assuming to be Jin and chuckling since i was right ''meeting. My office.'' It read and i could almost picture his teasing smile on his face while sending this.

Truth is ever since the situation with Yoongi was set to our care we have been so stressed and on the edge with it all, one after the other, all the worst cases possible were just being dumped on us and i knew it wasn’t going to be any easy from that point, now that Jin has opened up about his father i knew why he was so distant this whole time and so eager to get things done.

Just like me he too was going through a hard time but now that we finally talked about everything all that worry and fear seemed to be gone, i could feel how much lighter his humor seemed to be and i too felt more comfortable despite my worries for Yoongi.

I was making my way to the elevator to meet up with him when the the alarm went off and all the halls were lighted by the red color and my whole body immediately moved in alert. This was a red coded situation and different from the tiger hybrid accident last week, this one was emergency alert. Not thinking twice as i rushed through the corridors hearing the voice on the speakers requested assistance on the main entrance of the clinic - was there a hybrid making an escape? Not just any hybrid but a red code one?

Today gotta be my lucky day, right after lunch someone tried to escape? The situation couldn’t call for a better moment and i worried for all the other hybrids safety and the timing couldn’t be more perfect as it just so happened to be when the hybrids were coming back from the canteen.

Once I finally got there i was ready to assist with anything but, i found myself watching a scene that for my disappointment was exactly what i was praying wouldn’t happen.

A few doctors circle around the main entrance not moving clearly unsure of what to do as the coded red hybrid held one of our patients by the neck, rushing through the people around i stood in front of the scene feeling a breath close on my throat at the sight of the bunny hybrid i was treating being held by the neck on his knees.

For a moment I thought that this couldn’t be a hybrid who stood there holding Jungkook, i was skeptical as he didn’t show any characteristic of an animal until he looked up in my direction looking straight into my eyes. He didn’t have human eyes, they were bright orange his pupils closed on a thin line sharp enough to bring a chill to my spine. The light shined better over his face making known the golden color of what i knew very well were scales, he was a snake hybrid.

The painful groan from jungkook on the floor immediately woke up the rage inside me, if he wanted to hurt me it was fine but to go after one of my patients it was something else and before i could even think for a second I was already walking towards them, ignoring the few rushed warnings of the people around me.

Making my way towards the snake hybrid i never felt so angry before, being with Yoongi certainly raised my confidence with his kind.

Once i was one step away from the hybrid, looking straight into his sharp snake eyes he smirked at me. Tilting his head to the side as he licked his bottom lip, analyzing my face.

- let go of him - I demanded, anger spitting the words from my lips.

- I don’t want to...

This time i closed the distance.

- you don’t have a say in this, i can wait all day if i must - I demanded again, never even blinking away from his eyes - now be a good boy and let go of my patient.

This time his smile faded completely from his face into a bitter look and he slowly let go of jungkook, who almost fell on the floor over his face. I carefully lowered myself to help jungkook up holding his hands, his neck was red from the tight grip of the snake hybrid and he had tears on his eyes.

- are you okay? - i asked him. He nodded only and I quickly rushing him towards one of the doctors standing there.

- You're not like them... - the hybrid in front of me mumbles, making me turn back to him watching as his orange eyes looked me up and down before stoping over my neck.

I nervously swallowed, i know hybrids have much higher senses and from the look on his snake eyes i was sure by now he too knew about Yoongis bite on my skin still covered by a badge. Heat fallow up my face, knowing from experience he could probably smell Yoongis scent all over me and i prayed he wouldn’t say anything about it in front of every one.

- i don’t know what you mean by that - i tell him, trying my best to sound stern - now will you come with me to your room so i can get you treated or... do you want to go sedated?

He chuckled.

- lead the way doctor - he said, teasingly.

At his words the people around us seemed to have calmed down and soon one of the doctors came to my side with the hybrids documents and a collar to put on him, he looked at me worriedly but i only smiled trying to easy out the tension brought by the snake hybrid, i made sure to take the collar from him and quickly turned back to put on the hybrid.

Anger no longer seemed to be running on my system and i felt nervous once again, but i tried my best to keep my composure while closing the collar around his neck.

Closer now to him i could tell that different from Yoongi, this hybrids scales went higher up his neck stoping right under his ear, his blonde hair was bright almost white and i could pick a citrus scent on him.

I was curious to know what kind of snake hybrid he was.

- i can smell this is not your first time doctor - the snake hybrid insinuates, careful with his choice of words.

- It is not, fortunately for you I'm the one they call when hybrids like you don't have manners - i reply, which makes him smirk even more.

- Lucky me - he mumble, eyes looking up and down at me as he licked his bottom lip showing his sharp fangs.

I didn’t needed to question that he was sure a poisonous snake hybrid, I fear that differently then Yoongis bite his would actually be deadly.

Lucky me.

We didn't know if he would behave until he is all set on his room so me and another doctor were quickly to bring him there, we had to make sure to do this fast to ensure the other hybrids safety. I was glad he didn’t try make another scene but i still held my guard up, walking behind the hybrid as the other doctor took the front guiding us to his room.

Once in his room he was quick to walk up to the bed at the center of the room, sitting on the edge of it i fallowed behind o take the collar from him.

Stoping in front of him as the doctor responsible for him prepared his medication, i focused on carefully tacking the silver collar from his neck. His scales were much different then Yoongis, his had a more yellow and golden sparkle to it which made it look like he was covered in gold in contrast with his almost white hair.

With the collar off his neck he quickly held my wrist stoping me from moving away, he looked up at me, pupils fuller this time, only a small bit of orange around his full pupil told me he was calmer now, he brought my wrist up to his nose closing his eyes as he smelled.

- i smell another hybrids scent on you... - he whispered amused, the smirk never leaving his lips as he watched me - i never seen a human mate with us before..

I took my wrist from his hold harshly, feeling the heat creeping back to my face. Turning on my heel i walked back to assist the doctor, listening the snake hybrid chuckling behind me.

- what do we have? - i asked the doctor, trying to brush the emotions off my nerves.

- he is a piton snake hybrid, red coded but not by poisonous…. - he said.

- i can tell… - I murmured taking the documents from him as he prepared a sedative for the hybrid.

Usually the code red is attributed to a hybrid for one of two reasons, he is a predator which does demand a different approach before we can proceed with any further treatment or he has a history of misbehavior mostly being attempted escape or attempt to harm others, usually they only attempt in harmful behaviors.

I wasn’t surprised to find in his file that hes been assigned to our clinic for treatment after trying to kill one of the doctors on his past clinic, the list goes on and i wasn’t sure what to do.

Name: jp01301095 Male Species: Snake/Piton

Code: Red. (Destructive behaviors)

Date of admission: 13062016

Current status: to be treated for aggressive behavior and attempt to suicide.

Resume: Patient jp01301095 has shown no sign of improvement on past treatments, has been unable to socialize with his kind and the doctors responsible for his treatment. Patient didn’t show any symptoms of recovery, due to his destructive behaviors against others he is required to be isolated from anyone and to be excluded from mating process.

This would be one hell of a patient to treat, the more i read his file the more i became concerned about him. All i could think about was the words “attempt to suicide” on his file, how they never bothered to give him an actual name all made me question if the clinic he was before even cared to treat him correctly, he was the first patient i have heard off that actually tried to harm himself. No matter how many pages of his aggressive behavior towards others i read nothing was making me see him as a threat, I was afraid that just like Yoongi he too was only acting out of fear, looking up at his figure he stared at me smirking i wondered if all wasn’t just a mask he decided to wear to hide what he truly felt.

On his file i notice the dates of all the incidents involving him that, his behavior worsen after his attempt to end his own life. After treating Yoongi and finding out all the mistreatments done to him in this clinic, i was sure this snake hybrid has been gone through the same if not… worse in his past.

I turned to look at him as he stared at us amused and decided on taking matters in my own hands if needed.

- you can ask anything to me... - the hybrid said getting up and walking over to where i was.

It wasn’t like i was some kind of fearless human that i somehow always managed to get in this situations, i just felt more understanding of the hybrids pain then the others and I couldn’t ignore the fact that every time i looked at him, i saw someone who needed help even though he tried to hide it and did very well. He was the victim here but others may not be able to see it as i do, turning to the doctor I smile softly at him.

- call for Namjoon - I whispered to him and he nodded quickly.

I knew he would be the only one after me who could treat this snake hybrid, Namjoon was stronger then me and i knew better then to let myself act any recklessly with this hybrid. He was letting me go now because he wanted, from his files i knew it wouldn’t take a second before he try to hurt me. I needed someone who i could trust to care for him and that was Namjoon.

Once the doctor left i walked up to the hybrid. I knew this was dangerous but i saw what Yoongi did to the other staff and i knew this couldn't go any different if i wasn’t careful.

- well, I'm y/n I'll be taking care of you before we proceed with further treatments - i tell him.

- Please do... - he said, a smirk fallowing.

I took the sedative with me. When we go through traumas our brain tend to mask it as the opposite feelings as a safe mechanism, hybrids were no different then us when it came to that. I could tell he was using a flirting tone and a smile to mask his feelings probably also to provoke a reaction from me since he knows about Yoongi from his scent on me, i questioned if he uses that as a way to get things he wants from people - was it that how he got closer to his past females doctors?

I saw first hand how he can be when acting out on rage, but the more I looked at him now if I didn’t watched before I wouldn’t even believe he was capable of such thing. Right now he looked like a complete different hybrid then the one i read on the file, he wasn’t much taller then me, had a small figure and was covered on a gray uniform from his old facility, his white hair messily covered some of his face, his skin looked so pale it made the scales on his body shine like gold.

When he wasn’t smirking the soft features on his face made him look almost angelic, he was beautiful indeed - was it common for all snake hybrids to be this beautiful?

I quickly brushed off.

- what is your name? - i ask him.

They never once bother to give him a name, clearly no one even treated him kindly before for it. It was noticeable to me they didn’t thought of him for more then an aggressive being, only seeing him for his flaws but never trying to care for his wounds.

- I’m sure you read in the file, is jp01301095…. - he said, nonchalantly.

- yeah, but I’m sure that is not how you actually call yourself - i tell him, approaching softly - I’m asking for your real name.

He looked at me suspiciously certainly i was the only one who ever bothered to ask for his name, i could see how his mask dropped for a very short second before he smirked taking another step closer.

- you can call me Jimin…. - he said, sarcasm dripping his words - did they send me here because i misbehaved?

- Why you think that? - i asked softly, I realized the calmer i sounded the more his pupils dilated - did you do something bad?

- Humm... i hurt someone - he murmured, eyes shining brighter as if remembering exactly what he did - that's why they didn't assign any females as my doctors...

His files did mentioned a few females assistants who were unfortunate on the receiving side of his anger, it made me wonder why he prays on them more then males. Was it a women who inflicted the pain on him? Or was it that he just thought of us as being easier to hurt?

- I see... well nothing I haven't seen before - i tell him. Which brought a cold chuckle from him.

- You have some courage - he walked closer to me - is it because you stink of a snake hybrid? You think hell protect you?

- I can protect myself Jimin - i tell him.

The mention of his name did got a reaction from him as i imagined, for the second time i saw the mask fall for another split second before i took the chance to grab his wrist carefully. He didn’t fight me not did he tried to hurt me from touching him, i was surprised at that not exactly expecting him to let me guide him back to his bed. He sat down watching my every move.

- you are not here to be punished, Jimin… - i decided to call him by his name.

I took the sedative the doctor prepared, all his symptoms were under a red pen marked as dangerous on his file and everything was pointing how Jimin wasn’t physically hurt but mentally. He was unstable and so on for the first appointment he must be asleep, as much as i hate it I can’t do the opposite , he could still try to hurt someone and i was set on changing that behavior of his.

- you are here to be treated and recover - i said.

Turning to him i sat beside him taking his shirt to the side to insert the needle on his shoulder. He didn’t move or said anything while i did it. It was only when i was done that he gave me another sarcastic response.

- are you this sweet with your little snake lover too? - he said, trying to provoke another reaction.

- I'm careful with all my patients - i said, the words I chose are important. Anything could trigger a reaction from him and it was a matter of one wrong choice that could change everything.

- Oh... was he the one who did that? - he pointed at my arm covered by the white badge.

- No, he would never do anything to hurt me - i tell him - maybe you should learn some manners with him.

He scoffed.

I watched closely for his reaction at the mention of him and another hybrid like him, it didn’t seem to after him too much and that is a good thing.

The door opened revealing a worried Namjoon. I walked up to him.

- you really have no will to survive - he said to me.

- Sorry, everyone was scared so i did what i do best - i tell him, handing the file to him - i just sadeted him, he is all yours.

- Wait you won’t help me out? - he asked as i turned to leave, seeing as the hybrid as already falling over the bed due to the sedative any worry I had left in me was gone.

Everything would be fine from now.

- I have enough snake problems to resolve.

[…]

Indeed i had enough problems to resolve, after the alert was out i had to head back to all my patients and make sure they were doing fine - especially Jungkook who could've had end up hurt if i didn't show up.

Me and Namjoon were not the only ones who had assignments to deal after the alert, Jin too was called to assist the others and our meeting had to be moved to another hour later.

I just found out then how Yoongi could get even more grumpy under heat suppressants and nothing seemed to ease that grumpiness of his but i was relived to be with him in that moment regardless of his shitty humor, after the deep dive on the new snake hybrid file and uncover another series of mistreatment to another being like Yoongi my own humor had gone down bad blue and gray.

After bringing Yoongi some food i was impressed at how much he behaved like an old man when he's grumpy.

- did you eat everything? - i asked him.

- Yes boss.... - he mumbled, sucking on the red lollipop i gave him in the hopes the sugar would melt a bit of his grumpy humor. It didn't.

Instead he just looked at me bored while lying lazily on the bed, the covers were all over the floor and some were even scratched in pieces.

- were you fighting with the bed? What a mess - I commented. Hearing a grunt from him, i chuckled at his reaction - if you keep behaving like that...

- What? Will you punish me doctor y/n - he said teasingly, sitting over the edge of the bed were i stood up in front of him.

- Yes i will, i won’t give you any kisses - i tell him turning away to leave.

As I expected not a second later he pulled me back by the arm, i watched as he stared up at me much softer than before. This sly snake.

- I'm sorry... - he said, slowly massaging my wrist - i’m feeling moody because of the meds.

- I know, is okay - i gave in, carefully caressing his long hair.

- You'll still give me kisses, right?

- Of course...

I leaned down pressing our lips together in a soft kiss, feeling his smile grow against my lips tasting the sweet flavor of strawberry lollipop on his tongue. He groaned moving his hands up and down my sides slightly pulling me closer but before things got any deeper I quickly leaned back. Making my leave to carry on my assignments, leaving a now less grumpy snake hybrid behind.

We still needed to discus the matters with Jin and tell Namjoon of all that's been going on the past days, I felt bad for hiding it from him for this long but things were certainly not looking good and sometimes it is better to tell the other when you have things figured out so you don't bleed on them.

Thats what i thought at least, while making my way to get in the elevators after messaging Jin about the meeting.

When he gave me his confirmations I quickly left to head to his office.

I knew things would get better for Yoongi from now on and i was hopeful that Jin would win this one against his father, from now we had agreed on keeping an eye on all the hybrids in the clinic to make sure such thing never happens again.

Once i entered Jin's office Namjoon was already there as they shared a brief conversation. I took the seat beside Namjoon in front of Jin's desk as he looked as us both.

- well was is this all about? - Namjoon asked.

- I don't really know were to start.... - Jin said, looking a bit nervous - a few days ago we were here to discuss how you both would be taking care of Yoongis case and now, I'm here to... kinda fill you in why he won’t be put down anymore.

I know that already, but hearing for the first time right now felt more reassuring. I knew yet it felt like it was finally happening, Yoongi was free.

So on Jin begin to tell Namjoon about everything we have kept from him this whole time, how his father passed the case to him to put yoongi down, the first time we treated him and how he researched the files for Yoongi finding out all about his mistreatments.

He told us about how a few days before the mating process start he found his mothers diary and the documents for Yoongis birth, passing them to Namjoon who had the same reaction as me when i found out.

The entire time Jin was he only one talking, i wasn't sure what to expect once he was done though. As much as i was feeling positive i couldn’t ignore the anxiety i was feeling in that moment, i was hoping Namjoon would understand and maybe help us too but i couldn't force him to do that not was i expecting him to accept all of this at first.

The moment Jin told him about them being brothers our relationship was fallowed right after, Namjoon didn’t looked at me in any moment, his entire attention was still on the papers on his hands but i notice how he reacted at the mentioned of me and Yoongi.

- what? - he then said, looking up at Jin.

I swallowed nervously as Jin looked at me with the same feeling.

- i mean... i don't intend to be rude - he continued - this is the first time i heard of such thing.

- so you don't mind? - i asked.

He turned to look into my eyes.

- it's nothing that bothers me, i mean hybrids should be treated fairly like us not like some kind of savages, right?  - he added - i think if that's how you feel about him, i shouldn't judge you. We are friends too.

I was grateful for his words, so far I've been beating myself up over this matter. I couldn't help but wonder if me and Yooongi could ever have a relationship, we were far from normal and completely opposites to one another. But our feelings were mutual, a spark gluing us together.

For now i knew that my friends were together with me and that was very comforting due to our situation, i still have no idea how I'll ever manage a relationship with a hybrid in the clinic. I was sure it wouldn't be possible to maintain such a secret here and even more intimacy, wasn’t exactly comforting to be intimate with Yoongi at the same place i treated others.

It seems that no matter how many obstacles we go through, things never get easy for me and Yoongi to be together in the end something always separates us.

- is that why the mating process was canceled? - Namjoon asked.

- oh, no - Jin quickly replied - i simply don't want to force Yoongi into that, he clearly doesn't seem comfortable with it.

- i see... what will we be doing now then? - Namjoon putted - with him i mean.

- I intend to set Yoongi for adoption.

- what?

I almost gagged at my own saliva at his statement.

- that's what i wanted to discuss with you - Jin stared at me - i dont't want him to stay here any longer. Yoongi has been so much already or years i think is about time he has his own home but since the protocols for hybrids require an adoption document I'll set him for applications.

- a black mamba snake hybrid... it will be difficult to find good people interested - Namjoon comments.

I knew this would come sooner or later. Some of the hybrids here at the clinic are set for adoption application after their full recover, that is green coded hybrids. I couldn't understand why Jin would want to set Yoongi for adoption especially with him being red coded. He needed special care and time for recover to all his mistreatments, not only that but he certainly needed space to be able to have his heat which we had to interrupt for a while.

- are you planning on adopting him then? - i ask.

- oh… no - he said - i don’t think he would want to come with me and part of the process is that is a mutual thing with both sides, even though we are brothers i… wouldn’t want him to feel obligated to accept me just because of that.

- I understand but if you’re setting him for someone else, don't you think is too soon for this? - i asked Jin.

- i know what you're thinking, that's why i want you to apply for his adoption - he said. I could feel my eyeballs almost sprout open at his words.

- me?!

- it makes sense... - Namjoon muttered and i stared at him stupefied - i mean, he only likes you and you like him. Why not?

- i know this might be sudden y/n given how it has been so far but, i ask you to consider this - Jin said softly, eyes locked with mine

- yes, it is very sudden - i tell him - I'll have to think about this first, this is a lot of responsibility.

- I'll be here once you decide.

It mostly is a lot of responsibility, is not only about me but Yoongis well being as well. I can't make such decisions without thinking about this through, i know that Jin trusts me with this because of the relationship i have build with Yoongi and he being his only family is trying his best to help him but i can't do something that would possibly make Yoongi uncomfortable.

It hasn't been long since we've been together, living with one another is much different, sharing the same house together would be something he's never experienced too. I wasn't sure i would be able to meet his needs with my small apartment, certainly being a doctor at the clinic would help a lot with any medical needs he may have but what else would i be able to offer him?

Truth is I'd give him the world if i could but, i can't.

- well count me in to help guys - Namjoon said - but don't keep me out from now on.

He pointed at Jin.

- sorry bro, won't keep you out anymore - Jin said.

- y/n, don't even think about leaving me with that other Snake hybrid of yours - was his turn to point at me now.

The mention immediately reminds me of the piton snake hybrid who was admitted today, Jimin the piton hybrid's definitely seemed like a case new to me. He didn't seem to respect any boundaries and was a extremely trouble maker, from his files i read today there was many cases highlighted of his doings, doctors being hurt by him and many tries to escape that ended with not only the staff hurt but some of the hybrids.

Not only that but his mental state doesn’t seem the best either, i felt deeply concerned for him.

- what? But he is not my patient? - i tell him. I would gladly take the case if it wasn't for Yoongi, he's been very sensitive to all the smells around, i was afraid that if Jimin gets too close and leave some scent he might go off really bad.

- you mean the new snake hybrid, he’s a piton... - Jin adds - if I'm not wrong he hasn't been assigned to a specific doctor yet, if the situations seems favorable y/n would you mind taking him?

- i don't know, Jin...

- i think it could be good for Yoongi, maybe we can introduce them two and see if they can become friend - Jin continues - i think that it would be good for him.

- I understand Jin but, that is something to be discussed more in the future - i tell him - we need to move slower, Yoongi just started to adapt to a new routine and you are already thinking of putting him into adoption process. He's been through a lot, he might need more time to process all of this. He doesn't even know about you.

- oh, you are right... well then let's keep the in mind for the moment but please - Jin looked at me, a soft expression on his face - do think about what i told about his adoption, I'm sure... you are be the best suited to this.

[…]

A few days have gone ever since Jin mentioned about Yoongis adopting process, I haven't gone a single minute without considering all the pros and cons for that, as Jin asked me. I knew he wanted me to carry on that process but, i wasn't sure about it. We haven’t even told Yoongi about that, since it was still something that needed to be worked on and we were not sure how we would react to it, Jin was taking his time with it. But not only for those reasons, i was assuming he was even more busy this week then ever before. He did carry on the matters with his fathers wrong doings, but nothing much could be done besides making him step down from his position at the clinic so Jin could take his place.

Jin mentioned in a meeting about the situation with his father that, he was afraid that by exposing Yoongi and making known how there was a possibility for humans and hybrids to reproduce together would only cause future troubles for the hybrids and the last thing he wanted was for the hybrids to be put on a lab and be tested on again.

I know he only had good intentions and i trusted he did what he could in the situation he was in, for that reason we decided to delete all traces of his mother relation with the hybrid and her pregnancy. All the documents were destroyed to ensure no harm would be done to any hybrid in the future.

I didn't wanted to but, Jimin was in the end passed down for my care. The piton snake himself made the request for Jin the day after he was set in the clinic, from then i knew there was nothing i could do but at the same time i was glad he was showing good signs.

I decided it would be best to talk about it with Yoongi which only made me more nervous about it.

- he's like me? I doubt - he said that time - i don't really care though.

I was perplexed at his unbothered response at first but then I began to wonder if it was only because of the suppressants he's been taking, whatever reason it was it made possible for me to carry on Jimins treatments more closely.

The piton snake was slowly making process, so far he had no episodes of anger his only problem seemed to be he was just a brat, whenever he could he would bother Jungkook the bunny hybrid and I remember Namjoon mentioning that it was because he was a prey hybrid. Jungkook only acted annoyed at Jimins bickering at him, clearly the bunny hybrid was much bigger then the piton hybrid but I wouldn't want to bet on that matter - although i did saw some colleagues betting on them in the lunch room.

Jimins misbehaving got less serious as the days went by, he decided to be extra annoying to me though. He would always send flirting comments to me whenever he could, trying to be cute the second he realized i was seriously unbothered. It was baffling how much he just throws those comments every now and then never missing a chance, i even set him for heat examination but he came clean. He was just dirty minded but a least i knew he wasnt trying to kill anyone here like he would on his past clinics. He did improved a lot and I was glad he was doing better now, after a few days Jimin has proven to me how even code red hybrids could recover if you just give them some time and space to heal after all they too get mentally exhausted.

Jimin was constantly left on open space with other hybrids at his old clinic which to some hybrids can be very overwhelming since some still fell very territorial, i heard from him how some other hybrids would act out because of it but the clinic never did anything about it.

From then he started to open up more to me about his past, i was right about him being mistreated and that made me even more protective of the small piton hybrid. He wouldn’t talk much about himself and i notice how he would quickly brushed off with a flirty comment whenever the conversation went too serious, i was surprised to discover how much of a soft hybrid he was. But it seemed he didn’t liked when people noticed that side of him.

Little by little i would mention to him if he would like to meet with Yoongi, he would usually make some unserious comments and I understand that he wasn’t ready for that in the moment.

A week has gone by since Jins father has stepped down from his position, i could tell things were changing around the clinic evere since. Jin was giving extra attention to every case to ensure that everything was doing fine. Through that time i notice more people coming to the clinic to apply for Yoongis adoption, i was happy more people seemed to be interested in taking him in but I couldn't ignore the bitter feeling it came with it.

I grew worried about it every day that went by, usually when hybrids begin adopting process the director review the documents of the people who applied and after the review a meeting with the people is set for them and the hybrid to meet each other and ensure things go smoothly for both of them.

I was glad Jin was taking this slowly for everything that Yoongi went through and specially since he still doesn't know about this yet it could make things more difficult. The grumpy snake hybrid was still grumpy from the suppressants and we still needed to discuss about his heat, it would be good for the hybrid to hold that much longer.

I knew it would come to a moment were a meeting would be set for him and i became even more anxious, it was selfish of me to think about it this way but just the thought of Yoongi going away set a pinch to my chest so deep it was enough to drive me insane.

I was done dueling on the matter but I had to tell him about it first, before making any decision i needed to let him know his options. I felt the need to let him know that he wasn’t an accessory but a being who had a life and he could make his own choices.

After much thought i decided to tell him at his lunch, but I couldn't make out any words as i just stood there in front of him as he eat his food quietly.

- you've been too quiet - he mentions.

- ah, yes I'm just thinking about something... - nervously replied.

- is it about me? You seem... weird - he said, putting the bowl down beside him. He brushed his hair to the side, dark eyes staring deep into mine as if trying to make out my thoughts.

- i know that it might be too soon... - i begin, sitting down beside him, ignoring his eyes as i stared at the floor bitting into my lower lip - i wanna know your thoughts on... hum… adoption.

- what do you mean by that? - he asks, i feel him move beside me turning to me completely - you wanna adopt? Is it... like a pet? Or...

He didn't continued realizing by my silence exactly what i meant. I sighted.

- Jin set you for adoption a few days ago.... - I blurted out.

- he... what? - he said - why didnt you tell me before? Why am i only finding out now?

- because i... I wanted to ask you first... - i looked up at him nervously, feeling heat creeping up on my cheeks.

Seeing as his dark eyes shined angrily at mine and his eyebrows furred into a thick line, his hair was still a bit wet from his early bath, i could smell the scent of lavender coming from his skin. He grew the habit of closing only the last four bottoms of his silk shirt, exposing his beautiful skin and the scales on his sides and his neck to my eyes. Yoongi knew exactly what he was doing when he let those bottoms opened, it was on purpose and he made that clear a few days ago during one of his bath.

Even under suppressants i realized his desire was just unstoppable and unfortunately for Jin who usually entered the room right when we were sharing a heated kiss, it was not the best scene to be present.

Maybe it was the fact that so many people showed up for Yoongi that made me finally step up, i knew ever since we shared a bite on his mating room I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him anymore and having to balance our relationship in the clinic wasn't enough not was it possible anymore.

- I’ve been meaning to ask you this but i was so nervous, Yoongi... - i tell him honestly - the truth is... ever since Jin brought this up first I've been thinking about it every day...

- what are you trying to tell me y/n? - he said, leaning closer he held my hand in his. - are you trying to say goodbye?

- i.... - i stopped immediately.

How could i even put this into words to him? I was so nervous my hands were shaking, seeing how he seemed to grow sadder i felt desperate.

- i want to adopt you Yoongi.

At my words his face immediately lightens up, eyes staring into my with much surprise.

- you mean... for real? - he was breathless.

- yes, i wanna take you to my home as mine - i tell him.

He immediately pulled me into his arms and i never been held so tightly by him before, i hugged him back softly caressing his hair.

- I'm all yours then... - he murmured in my neck.

My chest was almost exploding in excitement.

[...]

The morning after…

- here -  i said handing Jin the single paper.

- oh, what is it? - he asked, before taking.

- i thought i should hand it to you personally.... - i tell him - i didn’t wanted to waste any time.

He stared at me suspiciously before reading the paper i gave him, I chuckled at his immediate surprise response eyes opening enough to almost pop out off his head then slowly fading into a knowing smile as he looked up at me.

- what took you so long? - he said.

- overthinking maybe?

We both shared a smile before he put the paper down getting into a more serious mood.

- well then... should we discuss the meeting?

- yes, the sooner the better.

I couldn't even begin to believe it. Yoongi would leave this clinic for the first time in his life and it was going to be with me.

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. .

Next?

Notes: I’m sorry for any grammatical mistakes 😅😅 and the long wait, is not my best but it’s here. I hope you guys like it. See y’all 💖🙏

Taglist is closed!🚫: @yoongiwantsme @effielumiere @danielle143 @dragons-flare @awanderingangel @blue-and-grey-army @crystallizedtime @fairywriter-oracle @rosquilleta @m4gg13-g @unadulteratedlyunique @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @yoongislatinagff @kimsonlyluv @slut-4-yourmom @illnevertrustmyselfagain @bangchanbabygirlx @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @momnomnom @honsoolgloss @kimtaehussy @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe e @catlove83 @tarahardcore @liveyun @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna a @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @watermelon2319 @mukeovernetflix @lopprhe @acquiescence804 @locket-hrt @prettytaesworld @myspi2010 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @armydgirl l @jaxyy219 @viankiss @shycreationdreamland @the-reas0n-is-y0u @nothingsreal420 @sckalykoko @lucis-noctiana

#bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts x you #bts yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #bts suga #bts au #bts fic #bts fanfic #yoongi hybrid #yoongi series #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x oc #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #suga smut #namjoon fanfic #seokjin fanfic #black mamba hybrid #yoongi hybrid au #jungkook fanfic #min yoongi x reader

[alannawrites]

Hello! My name's Alanna and I'm the lead editor of LOVE UNLIMITED, Marvel Unlimited's romance comic line. This week we finished a story about Gwendolyn Poole, AKA Gwenpool, coming to the realization that she's aromantic and asexual--and though I usually prefer to let the stories speak for themselves, I wanted to talk a bit about this one.

There was basically no awareness of the asexual spectrum when I was growing up--I went through both high school and college secretly feeling like I was some kind of alien in a world that made no sense to me. Finding out that other people experienced the same thing, and that I wasn't weird or broken, was a big moment in my life.

I know how much it would have meant to me to see a character grappling with the same questions I was. I searched desperately for myself in stories as a kid even though I couldn't quite define what I was looking for yet. I'm so glad that there are more ace stories now, and honored that we were able to bring one more into the world.

I was inspired and emboldened to pitch this story by the work my friends Andrea Shea, Ro Stein and Ted Brandt did on Connor Hawke's story at DC, by Latoya Raveneau's ace advocacy within Disney, and by my erstwhile assistant editor and co-conspiritor Kaitlyn Lindtvedt, who, I discovered after a few months of working together, was also ace! We were helped and supported at every step by other aces at Marvel as well--there are more of us than you might think! It's also amazing that our EIC and Marvel greenlit this story and gave us the freedom to tell it the way we wanted.

I'm so grateful to @jeremywhitley, @bailiesartblog and Kelly Fitzpatrick for bringing this story to life. Working with an all-ace team has been so special--there's just something magic about knowing that even though our individual experiences differed, we had something fundamental and formative in common. There are pieces of all of us in this story, if you know where to look.

Anyway! Like many aces, this is something I get shy talking about, haha--so that's all I've got for you! (Unless you want to read more here!) Thank you all for reading and loving the story, and congrats to aroace icon Gwenpool!

#gwenpool #love unlimited: gwenpool #marvel comics #asexuality #aroace representation #gwendolyn poole

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Bruce introducing Clark as his partner for the first time and the bat kids taking the opportunity for what it is

-

Dick

Clark wonders in the kitchen around 5am to start a family breakfast as Alfred is on his rare vacation in Europe.

He had already been halfway through when he finally noticed the body standing in the door way.

“… Dick? Are you ok?”

There’s no answer.

“Dick?”

Clark doesn’t even get a chance to blink before Dick is holding a sharp piece of Kryptonite to his neck. “You hurt my dad and I’ll show you just how fucked up a human truly could be.”

And this, this is the Robin that Clark knew.

This was the Robin who was angry and violent during his training with Batman.

This was Robin who made Bruce grow from angry and violent himself and learned how to be an actual person and how to love for the first time in a long time.

This was the Robin who wouldn’t hesitate to kill a man for taking the last of what he had of a family.

This is the Robin who grew up to be a Nightwing who was still so violent and angry but in a different way.

Clark swallowed. “Ya, ya. Yep. Of course-“

Dick pulls back and takes threes steps away from Clark. He smiles innocently, like he didn’t do what he just did. “What are you making? Smells good.”

“I- well- uh-“ Clark blinks. “Pancakes.”

“Add chocolate chips, Tim will love them.”

Clark nods and stares at the unblinking first Robin.

“Ok.”

Tim

Tim was… magnificent.

Magnificent and brilliant.

Clark, although technically not Tim’s parent, still had that parent pride you get for children. (He gets that for all of Bruce’s children.)

“So, you’re dating Bruce huh.”

Nodding, Clark grins. “Yes.” It then flatters. “Does this bother you? I know Bruce never actually dated dated before-“

Tim rolls his eyes and gets into Clark’s personal space and stares.

Just stares without blinking.

Tim, who was once a child who helped Bruce grow out of his depression of loosing his second.

Tim who was so damn talented with computers he hacked Clark’s ship for information for Bruce was Bruce could only get in the very edges of the information plated there.

Tim who was an absolute beast when it comes down to it.

“Uh… Tim?”

“Hmm…” Something in Tim’s eyes shift. “Hurt him and I’ll personally cut you open and do unspeakable experiments on the alien who dared break my dad’s heart.”

And really, Tim scared the absolute shit out of Clark. Always has.

“Yes- yes- of course- I never doubt- I never would-“

Tim grins once more, backing away. “So, there’s this movie coming out I think you would like, wanna go see it?”

“I-“ Clark only nods.

Duke

“Oh, hello Duke-“ Clark begins, smiling softly at the newest family member. Duke, although only being here for about a year and a half, has landed in Clark’s heart that belongs to the Robins and the Robins only.

Duke was a beautiful child, turning man.

He had the kindest smile and even kinder words.

He was Bruce’s first to be taken in at such a large age, but still one of Bruce’s babies.

“I’ll skip the pleasantries.”

Clark pauses form where he was taking his shoes off. “Oh,”

Duke looks him up and down then glared. “You and Bruce huh?”

Shifting on his feet, one shoed and one not, Clark nods. “Yep. Couldn’t be happier-“

“I haven’t been with him nearly as long as the others, especially by age, but Bruce has turned into a type of second father for me.”

Clark nods. “Yes, I know-“

A green light comes from Duke’s palm and Clark feels the itch of something very familiar. “Hurt my dad and I’ll fuck you up.”

“Yep, heard loud and clear-“

“Good.” Duke’s eyes glare for a moment longer before he relaxes and smiles at Clark. “Anywho, Bruce is waiting for you in his office! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

Clark gulps.

Cass

Clark adored Cass.

She was so… something Clark couldn’t describe. She just was amazing, in every way of the word and more.

Cass was Bruce’s first girl, his little princess.

Cass was the one who was hurt so deeply that she should have had a different ending, but she crawled out of it and became something more.

Something to look up at.

And she terrifies him.

You hurt my dad and I’ll kill you, Kent

Short and sweet, just like her.

She signed to him after catching him in the hallway at 2am because Clark was spending the night and he had to pee.

Clark wonders back to the bed room and asks Bruce, sheepishly, is he could borrow a pair of shorts.

Damian

Now Damian, oh tiny but loud Damian, was the one who scared Clark from day one.

Not for the reasons you think, no.

It was because this tiny little baby was hurt so badly growing up because his mother was unable to protect him as much as she wished she could and he thought he deserved it.

Damian who scratched and bite.

Damian who made Bruce have heart attack after heart attack.

So, when Damian cornered Clark one day, Clark couldn’t help but admire the little boy who is slowly turning into a strong man.

“Hurt my baba and I’ll make you wish you died on the planet you came from.”

Clark would have laughed if he didn’t think it was true.

Steph

Steph was an interesting case.

Not Bruce’s, but Bruce’s nonetheless.

“Hello Stephanie. I’m making apple pie for dessert tonight. I know you don’t like apple though. Would you like me to make you something else-“

Steph gives him a long stare. “You know, Bruce and I have a strange relationship.”

“… Yes.”

She nods. “Well, despite this, he’s still an important part to me. Hurt him and you make a lifelong enemy.”

Clark nods, trying to ignore the way his hand shakes from needing the dough. “I know.”

“I would like chocolate something, please.”

“Of course.”

Jason

Someone is following Clark.

They had been following him for blocks now, but Clark can’t pin point them.

He finally makes it to his apartment, shutting the door shut, heart pumping. He breaths deeply and stands up straight, chuckling to himself for being so foolish.

Someone was probably just walking in the same direction as him consequently.

“Clark Kent. Grew up on a farm. Crash landed on Earth… an alien.”

Spinning on his heel, Clark’s eyes widened at Jason standing in the middle of his living room.

“Oh- hello Jason. Did you need something-“

“Cut the crap.”

Clark takes in a long breath.

This was… Jason.

Jason was the one who died and came back, broken and ready to do things that shouldn’t be spoken of.

Jason who grew up in the streets because he father was doing illegal things and got caught and his mother overdosed.

Jason who was the first the make Bruce realize he wasn’t just a guardian, but a father.

Jason who made Bruce and Dick reconnect and become fatherandson once again during their biggest argument.

“I know.” Clark says before Jason could even open his mouth.

“Do you?”

Clark takes a long look at the man who never really had the chance to be a child. He looks at the man who, despite being the second eldest, looked like he was the youngest out of all of Bruce’s children. “I know if I hurt your father I will have some serious problems later.”

Jason stares back.

“Don’t fuck this up.”

“I won’t.”

Jason leaves the way he came.

#in Clark’s vows ‘until your children kill me or you die’ #Bruce ‘that’s not… that’s not the vow hon’ #Clark ‘yes it is’ #the bat kids ‘yes it is’ #Batman #bruce wayne #superbat #batfamily #batfam #Clark Kent #Damian Wayne #dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Duke Thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown

[paused-waterfall]

Little Details of Feather Preening

I love reading fics in which a character with feathers gets help preening them from another character. I think part of it is because it explores the alienness of the winged/feathered character in a grounded, tactile way, while also exploring the dynamic between two characters. It's worldbuilding and character development all rolled into one! But another huge reason why I like it is just cause my parakeet sometimes lets me help with her feathers, and it's the best experience ever omfg.

I figured, for the sake of fic writers who don't have access to the cutest most patient bird in the world (and for me, who feels like rambling) I'd vomit out a ton of little details of what it's like to help a bird preen, and how it might translate to characters with both human and bird features:

(Note, this isn't exactly researched. My sample size is literally one bird and some casual reading about other species (sounds like crow feathers work similarly to parakeets, for instance: https://urbannature.blog/2022/09/23/the-unbearable-itchiness-of-moulting/). Please take this as an account of what preening a bird is like, and not as advice for things to do to a real bird.)

The exact term for preening something other than oneself is "allopreening". It's a social behavior and not all species do it. But if you're writing about a bird-human hybrid, ehhh humans have grooming instincts to add to the mix, so IMO the species of bird shouldn't hold you back!

Allopreening is most needed on areas the bird can't access themself. Wings and tails are mostly accessible-- the long feathers can be gently bent into reach. The back of the head/neck is the most prime location for allopreening. A humanoid trying to preen on their own would probably try to use a mirror to see what they're doing, and seriously tire out their arms reaching back there to do such finicky work.

Birds are pretty good at spinning their heads to see and work on anything below their necks, but an avian-ish character without that range of motion might need more help on the base of their wings, shoulders, and back.

My bird gets pissed when I so much as touch any feathers that are critical to flight (the longest wing and tail feathers). Care for those feathers is super important, and trusting someone else with that task would be a huge deal!

To request a preening, my bird angles her head at me, shakes it, and gently poofs up her feathers. If it's going well, she'll stay poofed up and maybe close her eyes.

A completed preening session always ends with feathers being shaken out.

Molting!

Often, the first sign of an impending molt is a fluffy down feather floating in the air. These feathers will cling to anything they touch.

The start of molting involves a lot of old feathers falling out, and some chill allopreening can be involved in this. Just lightly ruffling their feathers can help dislodge ones that are ready to go.

After getting rid of the old feathers, pin feathers start to grow in. They start out covered in a waxy sheath and with a blood supply running through them. While the blood supply is there, these are also called blood feathers, and damaging them can cause a lot of bleeding.

Pin/blood feathers are very sensitive. A wrong move can cause them to poke into the skin. Add this to the general vulnerability of not being at peak flight ability and the body's exhaustion at having to produce the feathers, and you've got an irritable and skittish bird. This is all a whole lot like a feathery version of a period.

Allopreening pin feathers is a lot more delicate than helping dislodge old ones. There's a careful art involved in telling which ones are ready to have their sheaths removed. Learning this art as a non-feather-haver involved, for me, a lot of sudden nipping from an unsatisfied customer. These days, I can tell I'm working on the wrong feather if my bird tenses up or glares at me.

Removing the sheath from a feather is SO SATISFYING. You take a dull-colored, irritating pin, and gently unwrap it to reveal a soft, beautiful new feather. Any time I see my bird all disheveled by pin feathers, it takes serious willpower to resist pestering her to let me fix them.

Non-molt preening!

Fully grown feathers also need daily upkeep

Birds secrete oils that they spread over their feathers with their beaks. A bird-person or their allopreening partner might choose to work other oils into the feathers, similar to how we use skincare products.

Feathers lost outside of the molting cycle can start regrowing immediately. However, a partially damaged feather will not regrow until it is removed or falls out during a molt.

Clipped wings are essentially damaged feathers-- an intelligent bird-person might be inclined to rip these out so that new, full feathers will be faster to grow... but, that would mean going without the partial feathers, and the gliding/slight lift they allow. That's a pretty big risk!

Hope someone gets some use out of this :) Happy bird-fic'ing!

#birds #qsmp #<-- this is definitely inspired by all the fics about the qsmp birdfolk #birb talk #⏸️

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (XIII)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWOis here PART THREEis here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here PART SIX is here and PART SEVEN is here PART EIGHT is here PART NINE is here PART TEN is here PART ELEVEN is here PART TWELVE is here and this is part thirteen??? Hello??

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts

Where we last left off...

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

…Bart doesn’t really do patience.

He doesn’t have to, so he doesn’t. Growing up in a world that wasn’t exactly real didn’t make for a real strong understanding of reality, or timing, or estimating how long something takes, or how long it would take a garden-variety human to complete a task.

He sits in the chair. He kicks his legs.

So. Bart doesn’t really do patience. When he wants to make his way through a book, it takes a few seconds to read through the whole thing at his standard pace. It’s great! Finishing the Troy Dodson series had taken ten minutes. He watched the full set of movies on quadruple-fast mode in about half an hour, and then still had the time to show up to the tower for trivia with the team that afternoon. It had been Crash!

And when—when Bart had wanted to learn how to cook, he went through half the recipes in Ma Kent’s copy of The Delights of Cooking in two days flat. And that was with missions. He even taught himself how to prepare squirrel from the back of the book! It tasted…uh, weird, sure, but that might have been his substitution of Caribbean jerk seasoning for garlic powder.

Patience is… Well, when Bart is on a mission and he has to wait for everyone to go at a human-comprehensible speed when laying out the plan of action, that’s patience. Sometimes he jumps the gun a little, maybe—but usually it all works out!

And when Bart has to wait for Barry and Wally to be free and off work for their day jobs, because they’re adults with real world things they have to do and Bart’s just—well, he’s—he tries to be patient! And he distracts himself with other things, and he takes the time to explore the world and get in new experiences he couldn’t have before in his own little virtual world, and he tries new things, and he eats new foods, and then Wally or Barry shoot him a text or ring him up and then he’s back in town in seconds anyway!

…But there isn’t a way to speed this along.

The doctor with the cute cat lanyard and Wonder Woman both have been trying to explain to Bart how bad the damage is. But Bart can tell. He has eyes.

His friend is physical now, but he’s not…right. His face is caved in, like someone hit him really really hard, or someone gouged out the whole front face of his skull—Bart can’t see any red matter, but that’s because of the pulsing green sheath that’s covered all of his friend’s open injuries.

And there’s a lot of green.

That means he’s super injured. Bart can see most of his glowing green not-face through the window of the metal tube his friend is sleeping in.

It’s not just his missing face, his crooked jaw, or his barely-moving chest, or his green-soaked fingers anyway; there’s open pits in his chest, slathered in green goo that shifts when he breathes and glows just a little in the odd light of the medical wing, lumpy and half-scarred from stitches that were sloppily applied. Utilitarian.

Tim told Bart that the sutures were probably meant more to prevent extra clean-up in a lab setting than to keep Bart’s friend alive.

…Bart doesn’t really want to think about that.

There are lime-tinged scrapes and scars across and around his friend's hands and up his arms, verdant-veined legs that aren’t exactly the right shape and orientation legs should be, crevasses in his stomach, his chest, against his collarbone, and the clawed-out pit where a face should be.

All green. So green. Like grass… Like the Earth, when Bart comes home from space.

It’s scary. It’s frightening.

Wonder Woman gave Bart a hug and said it would be okay when the Medical team started to apply white-swathed casts around misaligned legs, and Bart almost cried. The medical team thinks the green is his friend’s body working on healing him. That Bart’s friend will be okay.

Bart lets everyone say comforting things, because it’s kind when everybody’s kind. But Bart’s been an experiment in healing the unhealable and he knows as much as anyone else does that there’s simply no way to know if his friend will be okay.

But his friend isn’t alone like he was. Bart makes sure of it.

So he sits at his friend’s bedside, eats a granola bar, kicks his feet in the stiff chair Medical had to offer him, and Bart practices his patience.

By the end of this, he might even be good at it.

#Medical is just holding a bunch of clip boards with question marks on them #“So...what temperature is he meant to be???” #“uh” #“hm.” #“The green stuff is...part of him. Right?” “...yeah? Maybe?” #We got ONE partially-formed teenager!! #sure he's missing a lot of his face. Oh well! #dp x dc #danny phantom #tw gore #tw body horror #health and hybrids #dcu crossover #cryptid!au #dpxdc #dcxdp

[pacific-rimbaud]

i was reading your thoughts on how fans felt about l&oha and while i concur it is a perfect piece of work in my head and have reread it 5x, i wonder if you think fans tend to be harsher/more critical of hermione and let draco slide? i see it a lot in fics where he's more of an alphahole type

Oh, man. Okay. The can is open, the worms are loose. Rant under the cut.

I'm actually going to set men aside entirely. Just. To the side with you. I desperately need more realistically complicated men, too, but that's a whole separate discussion. Right now: women.

There must be whole dissertations out there on the phenomenon of readers hating female characters with negative traits. I'm a fandom old, so I didn't grow up identifying with Hermione, and wouldn't have even if I'd been young enough to. I did that "which character are you" test just now and my top three matches were Janis Ian from Mean Girls, Jughead from Riverdale and April from Parks and Rec, which, massive grain of salt, etc. BUT gives you an idea. I am not a Hermione and never was, so she's never been a comfort character or self-insert for me. Some of my favorite fictional women are Sophie Hatter (mean, irrational, petty, old and mostly loving it), Harrowhark Nonagesimus (evil stick), Phryne Fisher (zero fucks to give). What I like about Hermione is how imperfect she is. I'm a "cleverest witch of your age I've ever met" truther (book!Lupin is absolutely saying "you're the canniest 14 year-old child I have personally met, saying this as a guy who doesn't get out much," not "you are a once-in-a-century genius"), and from my perspective, she's often wrong and often a dick, and not in a fun and fiesty burn-down-the-world BAMF way. Which. Good for her! Be human.

And that's the thing. I personally don't want Hermione to be perfect, I want her to be what I think she is, textually, which is intelligent, hardworking, loyal, competitive, compassionate, controlling, belittling, rude, petty, insecure, vindictive, volatile. She has the right to be that way, because she's human. The desire for perfected women (or unapologetically and unstoppably awful ones, another brand of female power fantasy) is not limited to Dramione fandom. I think it's amplified in DHr by many readers who DO identify as former gifted children, books-as-coping-mechanism kids and Strong Female Personalities who felt marginalized in childhood and want to see Hermione have it all: she's slim, she's tiny, she's fragile as a bird, she'll break your neck, she'll step on your throat, she'll tear down the system, she'll heal all wounds, she does not need help, she holds all the knowledge, she holds all the cards, she is forever wronged, she can do no wrong, her vagina is tight, her nipples are hard, her hair is on point, her waist is tiny, her tits are bouncing, her ass is in the style of Now. And like. This isn't at all unique to DHr and Hermione. It's pervasive in fiction written by and for women. Female power fantasies are obviously feeding a massive hunger. It's just not what I personally want. Personally, I find it alienating and uncomfortable, which I know equates to, "That is wrong and shouldn't exist" to a lot of people, but that's its own tale as old as time.

There's a disconnect that happens too often where a reader wants one (1) thing from their fiction, and receives something else, even when the contents are clearly labeled on the tin. In this case, wanting a female power fantasy and encountering a woman who's written with flaws makes people upset. And maybe if we could be more honest with ourselves about what we're looking for when we read, work to accept that not everyone wants the same experience, and learn to close a book when it's not working for us and say, "No shade, this isn't for me," it would be less upsetting when we encounter a character who isn't written to meet our personal expectations. I will open a book, realize the FMC is a female power fantasy archetype and close it, because that's not what I show up for. I like my women gritty and weird and foolish and vulnerable and liable to hurt people and feel terrible about it. Give me all the exhausting chatterers and evil sticks and jocks with swords and their hearts on their sleeves (their hearts ripped out), give me shy Anne Elliot and her suitcase full of regrets and the ugly fuckup who never has a glow up, give me dirtbag stoners and Fleabag and Alicent Hightower apologetics and every role Natasha Lyon has ever played. It's not a moral high ground, it's about a preference for seeing actual, demeritus flaws on the page and on the screen. Blame that woman. It's her fault. She has so many faults. Then show me how to forgive her so I can figure out how to forgive myself.

The thing is, I love women. I love women so fucking much. I want to be around them, to get to know them, to read about them, to watch them on TV and see them in films. And personally, I like them ugly. Physically. Spiritually. Morally. Give a woman a Bad Personality and watch her succeed in the most self-injurious way possible, fuck you. Give her a gaping chest wound and line it with teeth. Stick a piece of grit in that girl's tightly sealed shell so that a pearl is her only option. Make her love other women, make her fuck it up, make her have to earn them back.

Thankfully I do feel like we're getting more ugly women in fiction, especially BIPOC, queer and marginalized women who deserve gross, weird, nasty representation and not just didactic moralism, patronization and misguided sainthood. Some readers won't want that, and that's fine. Again, personally (it's all so personal, please, please remember that when you hit that comment button), I'm here for it. If you write about women like this, know that you have a thirsty reader here. I'm swallowing them up. I'm smacking my lips. I'm smashing my mug on the cafeteria floor and calling for another.

#you asked I answered #rant #long post

[bess3714]

If I were in charge of DC here's what I would do to the Batfam comics in no particular order:

Batman and Robin:

I would send Bruce and Damian on a sabbatical/road trip across America. They of course keep running into crimes wherever they go and solve them, leading a couple of FBI agents to start investigating them for committing the crimes. One FBI agent will remind people of a chihuahua, and the other of a St. Bernard. Also Damian has his permit so he can drive, and since Bruce currently doesn't have a hand in comics I'd add in a plotline where they help an alien who grows back his hand as a reward but he does it wrong and now Bruce has an extra finger.

Batman:

With Bruce and Damian gone, I'd make Tim Batman and Stephanie Robin. They fight crime and bicker like old ex's, leading to some interesting rumors about Batman. I'd make a directive that Tim isn't allowed to be drawn as a twink anymore, but has to be drawn with the rippling muscles he had in the 90's and 00's. Stephanie also gets rippling muscles. Part of the b plot for a while is Stephanie's rivalry with her next-door-neighbor who turns out to be a drug lord, but the drugs he sells are like, insulin and ADHD meds that he and his gang steals because he's a doctor who lost his job for reporting some ethics concerns and now he's mad about the medical system. Stephanie gets mad because in hindsight all the clues were there that he was literally in a gang, and she didn't notice because she thought he was just an asshole. Also they definitely make out at one point.

Detective Comics:

I love what Ram V is doing right now but I think when he's done I'd put Duke Thomas in the main story investigating systemic corruption in Gotham, shining a light (because he's the Signal) on the worst parts of the government. At some point he's accused of murder and the police are all trying to arrest him so he blows up some cop cars and Batman calls to yell at him but he hangs up on Batman. Montoya has a dartboard in her office with a picture of his face on it.

I'd add in an ongoing run of a comic that resembles the original batman comics in style and content. Then I'd have a a bunch of stories with some lesser-known characters, like the Psyba-Rats. I'd really use Tec as a playground to experiment with unusual team-ups, fresh stories, and inventive artstyles.

Birds of Prey:

I like the current lineup but there needs to be 30% more queerbaiting between Barbara and Dinah. There's an issue where Barbara and Dinah pretend to be lesbians to get this himbo to leave Dinah alone because she's trying to let him down easy because he's so damn nice she doesn't want to hurt him. (Has anyone watched Rizzoli and Isles, coincidentally?) I'd also add Helena Bertinelli to the team but she has an eyepatch for inexplicable reasons (the reason is it looks cool). The eyepatch will be dropped without any recognition a few issues later. Barbara drops both Batgirl and Oracle and gets a new identity as the Cloud. Only the Birds of Prey know it's her; everyone else thinks the Cloud may or may not be an evil AI working for Lex Luthor.

Outsiders:

I'm not reading Outsiders so I can't really comment on what I'd do for that one, but if you guys have any ideas let me know and I'll do the opposite, inciting fan fury and starting a Twitter war.

Nightwing:

I would send Dick to live in New York and also I would make him broke and homeless. I thought about making him lose his memory too, but that's already been done so instead I'd give him violent visions of murder and assault so he thinks he's losing his mind but then it turns out to be a secret policy from the new mayor of New York City to quietly round up all the homeless people by releasing gas into the streets at night to knock them out, but Dick has had too much exposure to drugs and poisons for it to work right on him, so instead he gets hallucinations!

Batgirl:

That's right, you'd get a Batgirl ongoing from me! Cassandra Cain would be the main character, and in the first arc I'd have her join a dating app, but then every date she goes on turns out to be with a criminal who she then sends to jail, and just when she's about to give up on dating, on the very last date she goes on the guy tries to force a charter pilot to help him escape by plane but Cass takes him down and the pilot is like "so that was cool. Can I get your number?" and they start dating. After that Cass accidentally joins a gang but she keeps getting gang members sent to jail and no one suspects it's her, only at some point she actually becomes the gang leader. There's then a crossover with Batman where her gang beefs with Stephanie's next-door-neighbor's gang and Cass ends up giving her gang to him peacefully.

Batwoman:

While I'm at it, I'd launch a Batwoman comic. I'd get Chuck Dixon to write it and it would be both wildly homophobic and also the gayest thing you'd ever seen, but eventually ol' Chuck and I would have some creative differences and he would depart, and instead we would have a rotating cast of guest authors. I don't really know much about Batwoman but luckily knowing about a character in order to write them isn't a requirement at DC. I think we need some ghosts so there would be an arc about Batwoman getting haunted by a bunch of angry, vengeful spirits who she thinks are trying to kill her but who are actually trying to lead to their killer. One of the ghosts is a really hot woman and they share a passionate kiss before the ghost girl disappears after Kate gets them justice. The arc would be lauded in some articles as a 'major reversal of the bury your gays trope' because at one point Kate has to dig up their bodies to look for clues, while in other news outlets it would be decried as a 'vile depiction of the desecration of queer final resting places.'

Red Hood and the Outlaws:

Jason starts a club/gym for a group of teenagers where he teaches them cool stuff like 'how to throw a punch' but also 'how to buy and cook groceries'. The gym is threatened by various forces like gangs, developers, the city government, plus the kids all have personal problems they have to deal with, like mental and physical disabilities, generational trauma, homelessness, and poverty. The teenagers call the gym "The Saloon" and themselves "The Outlaws" because Jason always has a TV playing reruns of old western shows. There's a running joke where various people think Jason looks like a dead relative.

Poison Ivy:

I'm a few issues behind but this one I would leave alone. I don't think I could improve on it. Unless I made Janet from HR and Croc an item. That could be fun.

Harley Quinn:

Another one I'm not reading so I don't know what's going on there but it could be fun to have a crossover storyline with Poison Ivy where they grow and sell shrooms to rich college students and then influence them to do stupid stuff and get them arrested. You know, fun date night activities!

Conclusion:

My time in charge of Batman comics would be one of mass outrage and general fervor. My directives would be so unpopular amongst fans that petitions would be started to have me removed and violent death threats towards me would be de rigueur online. I would depart after a few short months and my replacement would almost immediately retcon all my creative decisions away into a dark universe that would then be blown up by Lex Luthor. Ten years later, a dedicated fanbase for the comics produced under me would emerge, and they would be so loud and annoying and insistent that fans would then clamor to get me back in charge of DC once again, but unfortunately by then I will have retired to start drama on Twitter and write a memoir after a failed attempt at starting my own comics company called Big M Comics and getting sued by McDonald's

#batfam #bruce wayne #damian wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #duke thomas #jason todd #batman #comic thought bubble #nightwing #red hood #robin #cassandra cain #batgirl #oracle #batman and robin #detective comics #birds of prey #helena bertinelli #kate kane #poison ivy #harley quinn #outsiders #red hood and the outlaws

[reddy-reads]

Book shelf clean out: young wizards

I loved this series! I don't know where my copy of the 1st book went but the others are on their way to the library bookstore, and I hope they find a new home there

It was hard to say bye to these books (but I plan to get the new millennium editions in ebook soon... and i need the space). I read them when I was in high school and college.

They're really excellent, set in Our World (not fantasy whatever land). They remind me in some ways of Terry Pratchett's work--not the setting or voice, but in the underlying ethos of the work. Although the characters go through difficult things (big warning for A Wizard's Dilemma), the world overall feels... kind?

More things to love about this series

Hispanic & queer representation, if you pay attention. In other, more recently-written series, these aspects of the characters might have been played up. In this series, those aspects are still present but more subtly. I actually like this because it's more fitting with my experience of the world. It also serves the story itself better and allows the characters' choices and actions to be the focus of the story.

Even in the case of the antagonists, the characters are... They extend civility and understanding to the antagonists, but they don't veer into "all-forgiving hero" territory. The story doesn't get into really black-and-white good-and-evil morality, but it isn't that tiresome "everyone sucks enjoy your undifferentiated grey." The heroes are heroic because of how they choose to treat others.

I love it when stories say "the way you treat others does matter." Kindness is repaid with kindness.

The styles of magic are cool too! I think many people have read "this character has a connection with plants and growing things" magic before. One of the other characters has a connection with mechanical and technical things! There's a scene in one of the books where he communes with, I think it's an airplane? And he can feel its eagerness to be flying, its fierce joy in speed and movement. I think that's lovely.

There are some good jokes in there, like the pig!

If you love space and astronomy, you'll probably like this series :) Especially the later books.

If you like alien cultures (and more traditional fantasy other-cultures) you'll probably like this seriies

Overall I just really enjoy these books and recommend them okay byeeee

#book shelf clean out #young wizards #so you want to be a wizard #book recommendation

[celepom]

For Transgender Day of Visibility, here’s several books about Gender that I haven’t recommended before (I Think)!

Fine: A Comic About Gender

By Rhea Ewing

As graphic artist Rhea Ewing neared college graduation in 2012, they became consumed by the question: What is gender? This obsession sparked a quest in which they eagerly approached both friends and strangers in their quiet Midwest town for interviews to turn into comics. A decade later, this project exploded into a sweeping portrait of the intricacies of gender expression with interviewees from all over the country. Questions such as “How do you Identify” produced fiercely honest stories of dealing with adolescence, taking hormones, changing pronouns—and how these experiences can differ, often drastically, depending on culture, race, and religion. Amidst beautifully rendered scenes emerges Ewing’s own story of growing up in rural Kentucky, grappling with their identity as a teenager, and ultimately finding themself through art—and by creating something this very fine. Tender and wise, inclusive and inviting, Fine is an indispensable account for anyone eager to define gender in their own terms. 

Galaxy: The Prettiest Star 

By Jadzia Axelrod & Jess Taylor (Illustrator)

It takes strength to live as your true self, and one alien princess disguised as a human boy is about to test her power. A vibrant story about gender identity, romance, and shining as bright as the stars. Taylor Barzelay has the perfect life. Good looks, good grades, a starting position on the basketball team, a loving family, even an adorable corgi. Every day in Taylor’s life is perfect. And every day is torture. Taylor is actually the Galaxy Crowned, an alien princess from the planet Cyandii, and one of the few survivors of an intergalactic war. For six long, painful years, Taylor has accepted her duty to remain in hiding as a boy on Earth. That all changes when Taylor meets Metropolis girl Katherine “call me Kat” Silverberg, whose confidence is electrifying. Suddenly, Taylor no longer wants to hide, even if exposing her true identity could attract her greatest enemies. From the charming and brilliant mind behind the popular podcast The Voice of Free Planet X, Jadzia Axelrod, and with stunningly colorful artwork by Jess Taylor comes the story of a girl in hiding who must face her fears to see herself as others see her: the prettiest star.

To Strip the Flesh

By Oto Toda

A moving collection of six short stories that explores what must be stripped away to find the truth and celebrates the beauty of embracing who you are. Chiaki Ogawa has never doubted that he is a boy, although the rest of the world has not been as kind. Bound by his mother’s dying wish, Chiaki tries to be a good daughter to his ailing father. When the burden becomes too great, Chiaki sets out to remake himself in his own image and discovers more than just personal freedom with his transition—he finds understanding from the people who matter most.

Sir Callie and the Champions of Helston 

By Esme Symes-Smith

In a magical medieval world filled with dragons, shape-shifters, and witches, a twelve-year-old hero will search for their place as an impending war threatens. A thrilling middle-grade series opener that stars a nonbinary tween and explores identity and gender amid sword fights. My name is Callie, and I'm not a girl. I am here as Papa's squire, and I want to train as a knight. In a world where girls learn magic and boys train as knights, twelve-year-old nonbinary Callie doesn't fit in anywhere. And you know what? That's just fine. Callie has always known exactly what they want to be, and they're not about to let a silly thing like gender rules stand in their way. When their ex-hero dad is summoned back to the royal capital of Helston to train a hopeless crown prince as war looms, Callie lunges at the opportunity to finally prove themself worthy to Helston's great and powerful. Except the intolerant great and powerful look at Callie and only see girl. Trapped in Helston's rigid hierarchy, Callie discovers they aren't alone--there's Elowen, the chancellor's brilliant daughter, whose unparalleled power is being stifled; Edwyn, Elowen's twin brother, locked in a desperate fight to win his father's approval; and Willow, the crown prince who was never meant to be king. In this start to an epic series packed with action, humor, and heart, Callie and their new friends quickly find themselves embedded in an ancient war--the only hope to defeat the dragons and witches outside the kingdom lies in first defeating the bigotry within.

I Think I Turned My Childhood Friend Into a Girl 

By Azusa Banjo

It's a familiar story: a popular high school student gives their plain friend a makeover and transforms their life. But this time, the path to a new life isn't quite so straight and narrow. Kenshirou Midou has loved cosmetics all his life, keeping his obsession secret from almost everyone except for his childhood friend Hiura Mihate. One day, Kenshirou gets permission to practice applying makeup on Hiura, and the results are earth-shattering: Hiura's appearance transforms from a plain, undersized boy to a pretty, petite girl, and Kenshirou discovers just how freeing it is to apply his passion! Yet he's not the only one who finds the process liberating. Hiura likes the makeup, and the subsequent dress-up in feminine clothes, and decides to start wearing the girls' uniform to school. Kenshirou doesn't understand if he's unlocked something in Hiura, or if he's simply seeing a new side to his childhood buddy that he never noticed before. What are these feelings bubbling between them now--is this attraction truly new?

My Androgynous Boyfriend 

By Tamekou Wako and her androgynous boyfriend don't exactly have the most traditional of relationships. She spends her days working hard in the world of publishing, while he spends his time obsessing over fashion and makeup--all with the goal of making himself beautiful just for her. This romantic slice-of-life story is about love, relationships, and breaking with tradition!

#Transgender #LGBT comic #queer #gender #graphic novels #manga #transgender day of visibility #book recs

[aroacewxs]

who up tonight thinking about aro rui again. and perhaps. Living

just! rui's loneliness being a factor of alienation from his peers but also from growing up in an amatonormative society where love is prized above all else. rui, who has always witnessed romantic love as a concept through the eyes of somebody else, but has never experienced on his own. rui, who feels like a complete outsider, merely a member of the audience when it comes to love. he's only a monster, one who is uncaring of others' feelings and is far too wretched to understand such an idea.

but then!! it comes to him! not through a special someone or a hasty front porch confession, but through the understanding that he has a place, he's not alone, there are people just like him. people who want to form connections with him. connections that don't have to be labelled, but rather, transcend any idea of what is considered romantic or platonic, anything else. they can be their own people, their own thing.

it's not only love, it's the bigger realization that you fill up the room and leave holes when you are gone. your name carries weight, and tracks footprints wherever you go. you are a fond memory of the past, a hand they hold for the future, and so many things that matter or could ever matter for each day you live here on earth.

for rui, as someone who was taught to believe that he'll never find what he's looking for, that life will continue to be a futile search for solace and belonging, it's surreal! the fact that he just. has so much now. blows his mind. and that makes me really emotional. good people are out there, good people who understand you and want to see you smile :) and if it's not people, it's experiences, places, feelings, et cetera et cetera.

rui's character arc is such a beacon of hope for anyone who believes, or ever believed, that good things are/were just not in the cards for them. that good things only lie in what society expects of them, in the unattainable. his story is a reminder that there IS a future, that life isn't a tireless search for that One Thing, but more so a journey of learning to open your arms to accept the Many Things that may come your way.

i just think he's a little neat

#jay does a think #project sekai #kamishiro rui #rui kamishiro #wxs rui #word dump alert... goodness gracious #i have many thoughts about this purple fuck. and being aro #aromanticism and the randomness of the universe be upon ye #this is more so a rant about my belief that connection and community make up the human experience instead of things like love and empathy #but i think it applies to rui pretty well so :)

[burningtheroots]

"Not like other girls" vs. "not all men" — patriarchal division

We all know the popular "not like other girls" (or "not like other women", respectively) trope.

I‘ve been thinking about it a lot recently and what really annoys me is that society teaches young girls and women that girlhood and womanhood are inherently "bad" and hence not being like other girls and women is "good" and "desirable".

While many people believe that it stems from the girls and women themselves, I‘d like to emphasize the impact of growing up in a deeply patriarchal, misogynistic society and system which ultimately influences the steps we take.

The world we live in is built on female oppression, exploitation, rivalry and division. By ensuring that girls and women believe in what the patriarchy teaches us, men ensure their power and authority as we‘re busy trying to "fit in" and prove that we‘re the "good girls/women". Girls and women are conditioned to look down on other girls and women and aspire to be different — to be validated by men that they‘re not this flawed image of girlhood and womanhood.

Once we have internalized these misogynistic beliefs, we start to make our lives revolve around them and also spread them further. That‘s a common technique used by oppressors — divide and conquer.

Now we have lots of girls and women who desperately want to be different from other girls and women, who want to be as close as possible to whatever gets them men‘s approval and highlights that they‘re actually good instead of "flawed" like the rest.

Girls and women are always either "too human" or "not human enough". Whether it‘s looks, interests, personality etc.. We‘re trained to make entire lifestyle choices based on other people’s men’s perception. We‘re forced to balance between idealized womanhood and demonized womanhood.

The solution we’re presented? Putting other girls and women down to "prove" ourselves.

And it‘s not like there aren’t any tools for this, in fact, the patriarchy provides them abundantly.

The beauty & diet industry strive to divide us.

Fun activities which are still "gendered" to this day strive to divide us.

The media, social platforms and advertisements strive to divide us.

Sexualization and objectification strive to divide us.

Relationships with men strive to divide us.

Even when men commit atrocities, they divide girls and women, not men.

On the contrary, men and boys are taught to be united. Not in a coddly way, perhaps, but in a way that gurantees solidarity and immunity when needed.

"Not like other boys/men!" isn‘t a thing, instead, we got "not all men!", a.k.a. "I‘m like other men and because I‘m not bad, they aren’t, either!".

Whilst men are more prone to violence and deliberately inflict emotional and physical pain on others on a much larger scale than women, boys and men aren’t taught that it‘s desirable to be different from other boys and men. Rather, they‘re taught that it‘s good, desirable and admirable.

Instead of aspiring to be different — to be better — their focus is on defending men as a whole and excusing or justifying their misbehavior, whereas we‘re told that we must hold each other accountable for the tiniest missteps, especially when they involve men.

Girls and women are taught that their existence (& humanity) in itself is flawed, undesirable and needs to be strictly regulated, judged and altered.

Boys and men are taught that their existence (& humanity) in itself is self-evident, desirable and worthwhile.

That‘s why I put female solidarity and sisterhood above all else.

That‘s why I proudly say that YES, I am like other girls and women. We aren’t a monolith, we‘re individually unique, and yet we share the experience of being female, and we‘re united in our mere existence as women, and we don’t need to put other women and girls above or beneath us, or allow us to be alienated from one another.

#radfem #radblr #women deserve better #radical feminism #feminism #radfems do touch #radfems do interact #radfems please touch #womens rights #sex based rights #not like other girls #not all men #fuck the patriarchy #sexist stereotypes #womanhood #gender critical #female solidarity #sisterhood #divide and conquer #internalized misogyny #womens voices #women won't wheesht

[official-megumin]

I wanna talk about the loneliness of being trans and intersex.

It's lonely just growing up trans alone, and the same with intersex.

If you are in any of these groups, you'll find yourself a stranger to almost everyone around you. But generally you'll be able to still find big groups filled with people like you.

But the intersection of these two groups is small. And both groups don't often understand each other.

I think it's very common for trans people to in times of great pain, consider going back to before you transitioned, especially if you don't have many people around you.

But if you're also intersex, especially if you have a condition that's more impactful and harder to miss.

You don't have anywhere to return to. And when you look to other trans people, you find no one with bodies like yourself.

You're not quite trans, and you're not quite cis. Even among the people you're supposed to be like, you're a stranger.

And as someone with an extremely rare intersex condition that also isn't externally visible. It's easy to also doubt it is even real, doesn't matter how much proof you have of it.

But even when the doubt isn't there, you just can't find anyone like yourself out there.

It hurts to find myself forgotten in both groups I'm supposed to be apart of. Almost no matter where I go, I'm alone.

Intersex cis people, as much as that might seem contradictory to some.

They don't grow up constantly being told they aren't what they claim to be the same way trans people are. No matter how much I want to just ignore my trans exprience and the label. Being trans is still a huge part of how I've grown up.

I've been beaten belittled and even raped for claiming to be what I am, I can't just throw that away. But even then, I am not like perisex trans people. My body really does work differently.

My transition once I actually started was nigh instant. I don't struggle with passing, I don't struggle with my voice. I don't struggle with being seen as a woman now, and I barely ever did, even before my transition.

And even though this sounds wonderful to so many trans people who do struggle with these things, and don't get me wrong. I am infinitely thankful of it.

It also makes me lose out on shared experiences. It still makes me feel alien in trans communities.

The irony of "having it easier" making things harder, it's not lost on me. And for how much I thought this would make me happy, it has not. Not at all. Instead I just feel more isolated than ever.

#tw: rape mention

[bronzeagepizzeria]

For @tentoorosemicrofics Moon + Singing

(Or 1.7k words of fluffy nonsense)

READ ON AO3

When Rose Tyler was five years old, she’d been cast as Sheep #3 in her school’s Nativity play.

It wasn’t a very impressive part—not like Keisha, who’d played Mary—but she remembers the pride that’d blazed through her when her Mum’d declared her brief stint as a farmyard animal as ‘incredibly convincing’.

(Which probably wasn’t all that much of a compliment, considering her role had consisted of little more than crouching into herself and some occasional bleating.)

Still, the experience had remained one of her fondest from childhood; her mum had taken her out for chips after, and there was a photo of the two of them outside the chippy—flushed and pink-cheeked from the cold, Rose still in costume, baring her teeth at the camera in a very un-sheeplike manner—framed and hooked onto the wall at their old lost flat.

Years later, (and a universe away,) in the woes of late-stage-pregnancy-induced nostalgia, she’d told the Doctor about it.

Unluckily for her, the Doctor, who was only a recent member of the human race, had never been part of a school stage performance. He’d thought it hilarious, and Rose had had to endure three extremely long days of her husband trying to sneak in the most absurd sheep puns into every conversation.

Until she’d had enough, and the Doctor had learned not to poke the extremely hormonal bear.

“Rooose,” he’d said with the air of a man who simply couldn’t help himself. “ Let me out of the baaathroom.”

When their five year old skips into the kitchen with a crumpled pamphlet and a massive grin, however, the Doctor sings an entirely different song.

“I knew it all along,” he says loudly, sweeping Mia into his arms. “Of course you’ve been cast—no surprises there. It’s in your blood, you know. Your mum was the finest actor her school ever saw.”

Rose groans, exasperated, turning just in time to see her daughter’s face pucker up into a frown.

“Really?” she asks dubiously. Even at her tender age, she knows her father can sometimes be full of it.

“Oh, yes,” the Doctor says, eyes twinkling, pushing a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “They could hardly tell the difference.”

“Shut up,” Rose tells him, whacking his shoulder lightly with a tea towel, before leaning in to press a kiss to their daughter’s forehead. “You’re going to be brilliant, darling.”

The Doctor tells everyone who will listen, and then he tells everyone who won’t, too.

His daughter’s playing a moon. She’s got two whole lines. She’s brilliant.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” he tells her suddenly, late at night.

Rose squints up at him, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “Wha’?”

“This!” he says, wrestling with an extremely worn piece of paper. “This!”

Rose squints harder, and the script for Mia’s play comes into vision. The text’s been underlined and circled in several places, overwritten with the Doctor’s rapid, slanting hand, the margins full of swirling patterns and ovals she’s come to recognise as the Doctor’s language, the same ones she’d seen on the TARDIS.

The play’s about a boy from an alien planet, the Doctor explains with some amusement, and he’s looking for his pet cat (the starring role, naturally) but he’s lost, and Rose yawns, wondering why this world couldn’t just stick to something simple like the Nativity.

“Why would the moon even know where Abbadon is? And Abbadon—come on. Name a cat that and it’s like you deserve to lose it…”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to,” Rose tells him drowsily.

“What, lose a cat?”

“Think about it this much.”

But the Doctor’s muttering to himself again, something about inflections and enunciation, pen in hand, so Rose turns to her side, succumbing to the warm embrace of sleep.

It's a warm autumn night, the day of the big show. Rose isn’t sure who’s more excited, Mia or the Doctor.

The school’s bustling late into the evening, only for tonight, and her heart grows warm as she notices Mia, who can barely walk in a straight line at the moment, taking in the familiar building like it’s something she’s never seen before.

It’s a whole new entity at night; wind rustling through the neatly trimmed shrubbery, the ducky swings swaying slightly in the playground, excited chattering from all the children running about behind stage and the all too familiar hissed instructions to stay still by exasperated teachers and parents.

They come to a stop backstage. Mia’s nearly vibrating with energy when she turns to look at Rose, eyes flashing sudden worry. “Are you leaving now?”

“I have to,” Rose tells her, squatting so she can be level with her daughter’s small face. “Have to get a good seat, don’t I? You’ll do brilliantly, Mia, we’re already so proud of you.”

The girl nods once, and then her name’s being called, and Mia’s teacher shuffles her away for her costume fitting.

She’s easily one of the smallest children there, and Rose feels a strange twisting in her gut when her daughter turns to give her one last timid wave.

The Doctor’s saved her a seat in the front row, because of course he has, and his extremely battered Converse tap the ground restlessly as he bickers with her mother. It’s a habit he still hasn’t given up, the shoes—no matter how posh he’s dressed, and it endears him to her, impossibly as it may seem, even more.

And he is dressed posh tonight—in his best tux, in fact; Rose simply hadn’t the heart to tell him that he’d gone a little overboard.

“Well?” he asks her immediately, ignoring whatever it was her mum was saying before he caught sight of her.

“All good,” Rose says, plonking down on the seat next to him. “A little nervous, but that’s natural.”

“Nervous?” the Doctor scoffs a bit too loudly, even as his frame visibly relaxes. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s these other parents who’ve got to be nervous. No one’s even going to notice their children after ours—”

“Doctor, shh!”

It’s only when the lights turn on that Rose realises how large the audience actually is.

The auditorium’s packed to the brim, and she feels a swooping unease in the pit of her stomach as she imagines their tiny daughter reciting her two lines under those harsh stage lights.

Had it been this hard on her mum? She spares Jackie Tyler a glance, who is chatting away happily to Pete, and wonders if it gets easier when there’s a bit of a gap in relation.

The Doctor’s muttering to himself again, and Rose wonders if her experience would’ve been as good if she hadn’t successfully pulled off her bleating—if she’d gone on stage, frozen in front of that massive audience and forgotten her lines. She wonders if she should’ve actually checked on what the father-daughter duo were up to every spare moment they got, because God knows what the Doctor’s taught Mia, and—

“Good evening, everyone! Thank you so much for being here today. Our students are so excited to…”

It’s probably a good thing that the Doctor knows the entire script by heart, and proceeds to perform it live, because Rose can barely hear over the pounding in her ears.

Her grip on his palm (when had she grabbed his hand?) tightens when Mia stumbles slightly on entrance, the massive cardboard moon she’s been taped to getting in the way of her feet in her haste to enter stage, but she regains balance swiftly.

“Don’t worry,” she enunciates loudly, her voice clear as a bell. “I’ll show you the way.”

And Rose’s entire being swells with pride.

It’s magnificent, it is—even if the Doctor begins applauding right after (only to be stopped by a mortified Rose), and she can tell by the way her daughter is beaming that all that bubbling anxiety’s now glee, and it’s positively overflowing.

There’s probably not that much she’ll remember about this age in her life but this moment? Of looking into the audience with a sense of accomplishment, and seeing her parents unbearably proud?

This moment is eternal.

The rest of the play flies past, the two of them barely paying attention, still coming off the high that this is their life, and this is their daughter—

“I love you,” the Doctor says abruptly, lifting her palm to his lips. “Thank you.”

For what? she wants to say, but the words never make it out of her throat.

Mia is, thankfully, moon-less when she barrels into her adoring fans, less than half an hour later.

“How was it? HOW WAS IT?”

“Amazing,” Rose says truthfully, giving the girl a big hug, matching a wild smile with one of her own. “You were amazing!”

“You were wonderful, sweetheart,” her mum gushes.

“An incredibly convincing portrayal,” Pete says dutifully. “Best moon I’ve ever seen.”

Mia turns to the last member of the foursome now, the one whose opinion probably matters the most, on tenterhooks.

“Well,” the Doctor frowns, tugging on his ear. “Honestly, I’m a little disappointed.”

Mia’s face falls instantly. Jackie tuts in disapproval.

“Disappointed,” the Doctor continues, “because I didn’t know we raised a thief. What—you thought you could just steal the show like that and get away with it? The other parents are furious, you know. We’ve been getting requests all evening—haven’t we, Rose? They all want to take you home, all jumping at the chance to have such a brilliant performer in the family. I told them I’d think about it, of course…maybe for the right price—”

“DADDY,” Mia shrieks when the penny finally drops. “YOU LIKED IT!”

“Of course I liked it!” the Doctor roars, sweeping the girl into his arms. “I loved it. Nine hundred years, I’ve never seen a better…”

Rose watches them bid her parents goodbye with a slight stinging in her eyes; the Doctor’s face is alight with happiness, and Mia looks like she’s on another planet altogether.

The Doctor notices, because of course he does, stepping closer to Rose.

“What,” he says to Mia, even as his eyes never leave hers, “d’you say to some chips?”

“YES!”

The Doctor chuckles fondly, before lowering the spirited girl to the ground, from where she takes off immediately after her grandparents, probably in the hopes of haggling for a few more sweeties.

He reaches into his jacket pocket then, retrieving a battered looking instant camera. She knows it must’ve been hard to track one of them down—they hadn’t much been in fashion in Pete’s World.

“I know it’s not the same,” he says almost shyly.

Her heart is expanding so much and so fast she thinks it’s a miracle her ribs aren’t cracking from the force of it.

“No,” Rose tells him, beaming, “it’s better.”

*

#ah these two make me happy #rose tyler #tentoo #tentoorose #tentoo x rose #timepetals #tenth doctor #tenrose #ten x rose #tentoorosemicrofics #mia tyler #it’s the first of June in india so I’m gonna post this and then hit the sack #my fic #ficandchips