#If there are a lot of people interested I may have a waitlist but I doubt I'll have that many offers. I'm still pretty new here!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Do you like my art? Do you wish I would draw something specific? Great news!

~COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!~

If you are interested in commissioning me, please fill out the google form and I'll reach out to you as slots become available!

[Ko-fi - Google Form Link]

#Commission info #PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: These prices are not USD - these are cheaper than you may think. #I have put a ton of work into this and I am so thankful to everyone who helped me out! #There are still probably bumps I need to iron out as I go but I will try my best. Feedback is very welcome! #If there are a lot of people interested I may have a waitlist but I doubt I'll have that many offers. I'm still pretty new here! #The money I make from this is honestly mostly going to go back into funding this art hobby of mine. Ink is expensive! #Thank you also for all the love and support for my comics. Without it I'd never have the confidence to do commissions. #Even if you can't afford it right now - know I really appreciate it all. From the lurker to the frequent commenter: thank you <3 #Don't worry about the horse by the way. She's just here to keep watch.

[cartograffiti]

Thank you Claire from Schuler Books: some data for Queen's Thief fans

The tl;dr of this post is that QT is having an unprecedented surge of interest right now, and I used GoodReads to deliver some facts and figures to the Discord (The Geninsula), and now to Tumblr!

Under the cut: sources of the uptick, beautiful numbers, and a couple fun excerpts from recent reviews.

Part 1: selling out is good

We can actually track the start of the surge back to 2020's publication of Return of the Thief, because the series being complete got it a lot of positive press, but the activity of the past couple months (especially February-now, I'm writing on May 31 2022), has been another thing entirely.

RotT, and Disney+ optioning The Thief, has meant we're getting a lot of new international editions. The UK is getting a beautiful release of new editions in paperback and audiobook. The series is being translated into Spanish and Italian for the first time, and we know in The Geninsula of translations underway into Hebrew and Bangla. (Parts of the series have previously been released in at least 15 languages, but until now only Romanian had kept up with the whole set.) MWT is currently on a tour of Italy and the UK to promote these new editions, and a number of giveaways and influencer spotlights were arranged by publishers to get The Thief | Il ladro in readers' hands.

In March, the independent bookstore Schuler Books (not, as it has often been misreported, a library or Barnes & Noble) *posted a TikTok* of some of their staff showing off books they wish they could read for the first time, again. (It's adorable, click the link if you haven't seen it.) This TikTok went viral, now with 17.5 million views, and it opens with Claire talking about The Thief.

Only two weeks later, The Thief was sold out in US paperback. I'm talking gone. Even Amazon cannot get you a new copy of either the 2017 (Joel Tippie) or 2005 (Vince Natale) covers anymore, previously readily available, let alone older ones. They have to reprint it! In the meantime, the Steve West audiobook seems to be doing very well, and the hardcover unremarkably. Several Geninsula members who are members of large library systems have reported long waitlists typical of bestsellers. I wholly attribute this attention to Claire. Claire is the best, our hero!

Lots of recent reviews (see below) also said Laini Taylor suggested it, but if there's a specific recent source for that (she's a known fan of long standing), I can't find it. Let me know if you know!

Part 2: GoodReads is useful sometimes

So GoodReads *has this nice feature* where they rank the top 200 books from each publishing year, with #1 being the one their users have most interacted with, and refresh it monthly [Edit: this was a mistype, it’s weekly]--so you can see which books of the same age have remained or become popular as of this month [Edit: week]. This does not mean it only accounts for what was interacted with within that month [Edit: week], just that it's that up to date.

Right now, The Thief is number 14 out of all of 1996. The books that beat it are all truly famous things like Bridget Jones's Diary, Angela's Ashes, Fight Club, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (The only book ranked above it that hasn't been adapted for film is Neverwhere, which has received a radio play with a high-profile cast. [Edit: ...And is itself a novelization of a TV series.] [Edit: Infinite Jest has been a play, but not filmed.] I am making direct eye contact with Mickey Mouse.) Some of the other series marketed as fantasy it beats out include entries from Tortall, Discworld, The Witcher, and Redwall.

The Queen of Attolia is the only other one that is currently on the top 200 list for its year, but it's 77, above more Tamora Pierce, a boxset of A Song of Ice and Fire, and buzzy authors like Julia Quinn and Junji Ito.

The fact that a second book is ranking this high tells us people are currently working their way through the series in honestly what has to be large numbers. I won't be surprised if later books start ranking in the coming months.

It also tells us people really are actively reading them, not just marking the first one as possibly interesting--lots of users don't mark sequels as to-read until they've read the first, or the preceding one, etc.

Now, with the books ranked this high, how much interaction does that represent? Well, The Thief has 77,921 ratings, and 236,000+ shelvings, and considering that finishing without rating is somewhat uncommon…that's about 150,000 users who are planning to read, or currently reading, this book. The same math for QoA is less dramatic--about 20k people have it on the agenda--but when 20k is 50% of its all-time ratings, that's...still an explosion.

This of course only represents the people who a) use GoodReads and b) keep up with their to-be-read list there, so this is only a fraction of readers in general who are likely to read it in the near future.

Part 3: The reviews are in

Giveaways of advance reader copies in the UK led to a burst of reviews in February, which were a bit puzzling to read through, as a number of them seemed to me to have come from people who did not know the genre or even the age market for the book when they entered for it, and hadn't actually been drawn to the story therefore.

A much more striking wave of reviews came later, as the UK, Spanish, and Italian readers began to interact with it organically, and a large burst of people who specifically said they'd picked it up because of Claire from Schuler Books. (Or, more often, "A TikTok with a cute librarian [sic].") These reviews have the usual range of reactions, but an overall level of enthusiasm I feel is high.

Laini Taylor was the second-most successful recommender. Many people compared The Thief favorably to Rick Riordan, Leigh Bardugo, GRR Martin, and Sarah J. Maas. (This was the first time I'd seen the series pitched to SJM's fans! I haven't read her work, but hadn't thought it was in a similar niche.) I was delighted to see several people calling it the best fantasy of travel and landscape they've read since JRR Tolkien!

The apparent age range of reviewers is quite wide, which reflects my experience of the fandom, where I've regularly chatted with people from 13 to their 60s, and likely older. There were some very cute reactions from reviewing tweens and teenagers who said that they were surprised such an OLD book from the nineties held up.

Some other book trend remarks I found interesting: lots of surprise there was no romance, including some people who, looking for a potential romance among the traveling party, proposed both Gen/Sophos (fine) and Gen/the magus (insane, thank you so much, I have questions.) A number of people who remarked that they were pleased to find a fantasy that wasn't "too fantastical," lots of positivity about feeling it had a "timeless" style, and one person who said they have found it difficult to find engaging recent YA books with boy protagonists.

Delightful excerpts from reviews of TT:

a novel that is a credit to the English language.

I loved the world MWT created, had it been an artwork it would perhaps have been more Claude Monet than Michelangelo

[Original review in Spanish, from Argentina] Gen is the best thing that has ever happened to me

The Thief also pairs very nicely with cheese and dried fruit.

The importance of narrators:

I'm giving this a 5 star rating because I listened to it as an audiobook and the narrator sounds like Henry Cavill and I have a crush on him. So, 5 stars.

And my favorite reaction to The Queen of Attolia:

This is shockingly...kinky???

Okay, thanks for reading! I'm really excited, since it looks like the fandom is in the process of...tripling? Something like that. If you have news about how the book is being promoted, or new translations/re-releases, I'd love to hear!

#Queen's Thief #The Queen's Thief #Megan Whalen Turner #The Thief #The Queen of Attolia #bookblr #long post

[fattlestacks]

Commission FAQ's

Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their interest in my commissions. It really means a lot to me that y'all want a commission from me! I've been getting a fair amount of comments & questions regarding my commissions so I wanted to try n' address 'em here:

How do I go about getting a commission? I open commissions spontaneously when I have the time and energy to do so. I generally make a post a day or two in advance as a heads up to keep an eye out. Heads up posts generally look like this. Moving forward though I will try to make these posts stand out/look a little more obvious as heads up posts since there's been some confusion about them. Note: I do not send individual heads up messages to people. I just don't have the time or energy to do that. If you'd like a commission your best bet is to keep your eyes peeled for a post that looks like this, read the details and send me a message.

Do you have a waitlist? I do not currently have a wait list, the reason being that I don't always know what my Patreon workload or my personal art needs may be from month to month. I also suffer from depression and chronic pain. I can't really predict when I'll be in a depressive episode or in too much pain to concentrate or draw. My ability to work varies during these times and I can't really commit to a commission waitlist because of this. Opening commissions spontaneously helps me gauge how much work I can take on at the current time and not get overwhelmed having a list hanging over me that I feel like I need to rush through. I've also had negative experiences with commission wait lists in the past where by the time I get to someone they've lost interest or just ghost me. :(

Can you reserve a spot for me next time? I'm sorry, I cannot. I try to give everyone a fair shot at grabbing a commission slot and I don't have the energy to contact everyone interested with personal messages.

I live in a different time zone and I keep missing your commission posts, can you post at a different time? I already do vary the times that I make commission posts, I suspect people may be missing them due to how fast they get claimed sometimes.

Where's the best place to catch your commission posts? Honestly, Tumblr. This is where I make commission posts first, the reason being that other sites don't allow for long posts with images the way Tumblr does so it's harder for me to get all of the information in one place. Because of this Tumblr posts need to go up first so I can link to all the details from my other socials. That being said, correspondence regarding commissions is best on Discord where I can pin your details & reference images. Feel free to message me there username: Jaymzeecat. Tumblr, Twitter and email are also adequate for correspondence though I cannot pin so details can get lost in the conversation sometimes.

It's really hard for me to keep tabs on messages from sites like Furaffinity or Patreon. They also don't allow images to be sent via messages, unfortunately.

While I definitely appreciate everyone's interest and how much y'all help me pay my bills! FOR REAL! I am only one person and I'm doing my best. (And not for nuthin'... I'm old and tired, haha!) I realize you may be frustrated when you miss out on commissions, but please don't send me angry or passive aggressive comments/messages. :( I really am trying to accommodate everyone.

I think that's everything! I hope y'all can catch commissions the next time they're open, thanks everyone!

#commissions

[tinydragondice]

Hey y’all, so you may know that one of my popular dice styles is what I call Lyric Dice, which include lines from songs and poems and are meant to evoke the feeling of the song. Over the past two years since I first created the style, I’ve made over 60 designs inspired by numerous Broadway musicals, Taylor Swift songs, Lord of the Rings poems, and more.

Over the past 6 months I’ve held two preorders to help people get the sets they’re hoping for and they’ve gone smoothly, but I’m not going to have time for another preorder for at least the next few months, so I’m opening a waitlist so folks can let me know what set they’re interested in. When I reach their name on the list, I’ll confirm that they’re interested, collect payment, and start working on their set. This will take some of the pressure off me to pour only lyric dice or pour a lot of sets quickly, and let people continue to get the sets they enjoy.

If you’ve had your eyes on one of the designs, or if you’re just curious what all the designs look like and don’t feel like scrolling through insta, you can find the waitlist form on my linktree. Thanks for reading!

#dice #dungeons and dragons #dnd dice #polyhedral dice #ttrpg dice #dicemaking #artisan dice #tiny dragon dice #resin art #dnd #Broadway #taylor swift #lord of the rings

[bumblebeeappletree]

Net Zero Home Build: My Biggest Regret Building My New House. The first 100 people to use code UNDECIDED at the link below will get 20% off of Incogni: https://incogni.com/undecided. There are a lot of different paths you can take to get to a net-zero home. Everything from passive homes to earthships to modular and factory built houses. You can retrofit an existing building or you can build a new one. All of the options can make your head spin and there are pros and cons to each of them. In my case, I’m building a new, factory built net zero home with a lot of solar panels, which has been in the planning stages for a while now, but is scheduled to start construction very soon. I thought it would be interesting to share what I’m doing and why my wife and I chose the path we did. So let’s see how we came to our decision … and if I have any regrets so far.

Join the waiting list for my big solar product launch:

https://undecidedmf.com/solar-waitlist

Visit my Energysage Portal for homes - Research solar panels and get quotes for free!

http://www.energysage.com/p/undecided/

Watch Exploring Passive House Design - 90% Energy Savings! https://youtu.be/secB3R0sIYU?list=PLn...

Ricky Roy/Two Bit Da Vinci: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FjFQ...

Video script and citations:

https://undecidedmf.com/renewable-ene...

Follow-up podcast:

Video version - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4-a...

Audio version - http://bit.ly/stilltbdfm

Join the Undecided Discord server:

https://geni.us/undecided-discord

👋 Support Undecided on Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/mattferrell

00:00 - Intro

01:21 - Passive houses

05:16 - Why I’m doing factory built

08:13 - Smart home

08:45 - Is it worth it?

10:58 - What about a retrofit?

12:37 - Regrets?

⚙️ Gear & Products I Like

Tesla and smart home gear:

https://kit.co/undecidedmf

Great sustainable products for your home:

https://geni.us/buildwithrise

Undecided Amazon store front:

https://geni.us/undecidedAmazon

Fun, nerdy t-shirts:

http://bit.ly/UndecidedShirts

Abstract Ocean Tesla Accessories:

15% Discount - Code: "Undecided"

http://bit.ly/UndecidedAO

Jeda Tesla Wireless Charger/USB Hub:

http://bit.ly/UndecidedJeda

Tesla Referral Code:

Get 1,000 free supercharging miles

or a discount on Tesla Solar & Powerwalls

https://ts.la/matthew84515

Visit my Energysage Portal:

Research solar panels and get quotes for free!

http://www.energysage.com/p/undecided/

Or find community solar near you:

https://communitysolar.energysage.com...

👉 Follow Me

Twitter

https://twitter.com/mattferrell

https://twitter.com/undecidedMF

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https://www.instagram.com/mattferrell

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https://www.facebook.com/undecidedMF/

Website

https://undecidedmf.com

📺 YouTube Tools I Recommend

Audio file(s) provided by Epidemic Sound

http://bit.ly/UndecidedEpidemic

TubeBuddy

https://www.tubebuddy.com/undecided

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https://vidiq.com/undecided

I may earn a small commission for my endorsement or recommendation to products or services linked above, but I wouldn't put them here if I didn't like them. Your purchase helps support the channel and the videos I produce. Thank you.

#undecided with matt ferrell #solarpunk #Net Zero Home #net zero #home #house #Net Zero House #passive house #sustainable home #sustainable architecture #sustainable building #sustainability #Youtube

[arabellaflynn]

Brief life update: Landlord problem sorted (for now, at least). My support system is awesome. I believe you have all been contacted about repayment, but if I missed anybody, let me know.

I have not bothered to tell my roommates this. I hope they are experiencing unbearable amounts of stress. The Useless Narcissist did eventually cough up his share, but the (Probably Soon-To-Be-Ex-)Wife has given me nothing yet. They can stew.

One of the NPOs I work with threw a birthday party for a friend of a board member back in February. I ran it for them, as I often do. I'm good at being an attractive, friendly person who knows where all the extra chairs are. 

I rather like running these parties. They're full of interesting people that I will almost definitely never see again, so it doesn't much matter what I say to them. The birthday girl was 80, and a semi-retired "spiritual counselor" -- apparently, she was where the priests and rabbis and imams went when they needed to talk through their problems. She described herself as "spiritual krill", which amused me greatly. A bunch of her kids were there, and a grandson who was probably on the spectrum and could not stop talking about airplanes, and a musical theater actor from Manhattan who complained that Cambridge was not drinking hard enough at 2 pm on a Sunday, and a variety of other artists that told as many weird stories as there are feathers on an Amazonian parrot. Her Moroccan cleaning lady made a secondhand appearance by sending a half-sheet cake topped with blue frosting and chocolate-covered strawberries. They told me I should be eating their cake and drinking their wine with them, so I did.

One of the nice things about working in the arts is that if you can still do your job well with a glass of wine in your hand, nobody cares.

The board member who threw the party apparently thought I was great fun, because he got the coordinator to give him my email address so he could ask me where to send a thank you card. Which card, when it arrived, had a $100 check in it. Welp. I was paid to run the party in the first place, mind, but being an attractive friendly person who knows where the chairs are only gets you about $18-20 an hour. 

I've never been told I can't take tips, but I've never asked either -- this one was the biggest I've gotten, but it's not the first. One of the more memorable ones was when I was working box office for a show where a gaggle of kids had come up from New York to perform with Boston locals. One set of parents had failed to buy their tickets before driving up from NYC, and the show sold out. The ticketing software didn't have any way to start a waitlist for shows with late seating, but there are always people who don't turn up, and even if by some miracle everyone made it (they didn't) that theater had bench seating and I was not paid enough to care if they were two people over fire code, so I told the parents to come back in 45 minutes, and told the manager that one couple had to duck out but would be back at intermission. I had no way to sell them a ticket and was fully prepared to sneak them in for free, but the wife did everything short of stomp her husband's foot and hiss, "honey, bribe the usher." He gave me a $20.

The bigger news, though, is a gig I've landed for mid-May. I got an email a couple months ago from one of the orgs I do livestreaming for asking if I could run sound for one of their shows. They had correctly guessed that I knew how to do this, but only because they don't understand the difference between running digital sound for a webinar/class and operating the 32-track analog behemoth they have up in their tech booth -- none of them are in any way technical, that's why they call me. I didn't expect a lot of help from the venue, but I ended up running the pre-show music off my phone, and the board off a random laptop using VLC, which is, uh... let's go with, not industry standard. 

I thought my performance was adequate. Like, the show did happen, more or less as planned. The lighting designer apparently thought I did so well she specifically requested that I run sound for the next, much bigger show she was lighting at that venue. I am, apparently, "the best". I have learned to just say thank you and shut up when people say these things, because it's rude to argue with others over their own subjective opinions, but if that was "the best" I really have to wonder, what kind of unrepentant fuckups had she been saddled with before I came along? 

Anyway, the much bigger show thought I was a perfectly reasonable choice(!!?!?!?!!?!), so I'm now signed on for that. I refuse to half-ass this anymore; if they're going to pay me sound tech rates, I'm actually going to be a sound tech, and do this correctly. Industry standard for this stuff is a piece of software called QLab, which is only available for Mac, and has rental licenses for a totally reasonable $5/day. I am not okay running $1500 of show off a computer that dies if you trip over the power cord, so the battle-scarred MacBook I inherited from a previous roommate has gone back to Apple for a spa weekend and a battery replacement, a surprise expense which I am only able to cover because the same superhero support network has indicated they do not need their loan money back in a hurry. So thank you for that as well! I have about a month to teach myself how to work QLab for real.

I've spent Easter feeding junk food to rats and trying to wrap my brain around the idea that someone thinks it's "totally reasonable" to pay me $50/hr to sit up in the booth and periodically click a large button marked GO. I have to keep reminding myself that all the tech stuff only seems straightforward to me because I have been mucking around with it since I was ten. I had a look at the service manual for the mixer before I tried working it the first time, and at one point it literally says, "This will make more sense if you look at the block diagram," so I suspect a large portion of that hourly rate is there just because this is terrifyingly complicated to other people.

[For the uninitiated, a block diagram is a simplified line drawing depicting the components and connections of an electrical circuit. For something like the mixing board I was dealing with, it's usually close to, but not identical to, the actual schematics. My father has designed custom circuit boards for a living since before I was born, so I'm well familiar with the things. But if you're not I suppose they look a bit like a Mondrian take on the Nazca lines. I probably couldn't troubleshoot a broken mixing deck from the diagram in the back of the manual, but I can follow it well enough to see where all the inputs and outputs are going.]

Still no grant money, not that I expected it to land on Easter. The waiting is the worst. A lot of my problem right now is that I need to raise my freelance rates for a lot of things, but until I get that cushion in place I can't risk losing any of the clients I currently have. Some money is better than no money, but some money is not necessarily enough money, which is the fundamental problem.

from Blogger https://ift.tt/dJH04Rh via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

#IFTTT #Blogger #Unsolicited Advice

[shmreduplication]

I’m guessing The Martian audiobook is an audible original because it’s not available (in english) thru any of the library cards I have connected to the app (this is also true for weir’s other books and due to how “proyecto” is v small on the cover of “proyecto hail mary” I can only assume that the majority of the people on the waiting list don’t realize it’s not the english version.  Or there’s a lot more spanish reading weir fans in santa clara who have all already read el marciano than I’d’ve expected becuase seriously the waitlist for proyecto hail mary is super long while it’s nonexistent for el marciano)

I was able to find it on youtube, and with the original voice actor instead of wil wheaton! It was absolutely the worst audiobook interface for many many reasons but one thing that was unexpected was that the algorithm thought that since I kept going back to this one video then surely I must be interested in other audibooks.  So all of may and the first half of june I kept getting audiobooks recommended to me but then they stopped and I thought that the algorithm had figured out that I wasn’t clicking on anything else, but I just tried to find it in my listening history so I could update my reading log for the year and it’s been taken down :( hit with a copyrite strike

anyway happy birthday to me that it was seemingly only up on youtube for my birthday month, just long enough for me to find it and listen to it

[cup-of-blue-rose-tea]

Hewwo Cup! Since yuus deal with housewardens alot

Whats your Yuu's thoughts on my 3 fandorms housewardens?

Sigurd Damián Kreo

Hello mate ! Sorry this took a while so I hope you don't mind ^^;;

>On Sigurd "The Unbalanced" Farscrew

"Every time I look at him , I can see flowers blooming around him like it's a shoujo manga ! His charisma is scarily high!"

Yuuri will admit , Sigurd is really beautiful , like not main protagonist but the franchise's heartthrob energy. He is definitely one of the nicer housewardens they meet on their journey , though his sudden shift in personality sometimes does concern them . Yuuri would be put off at first by Sigurd's way of speech , however as a previous internet dweller , Yuuri has no problem understanding Sigurd .

Sigurd's search for love is also Yuuri admires , personally they aren't the romantic type so maybe he won't really understand Sigurd , but to have a goal set down by yourself is one of those things Yuuri admires a lot.

>On Damián Delgado

"...He's like the dad I never had , in a way . Enough about that! Have you seen the cats he foster at his dorm ? They're all so cute !"

Yuuri adores Damián , he's so gentle and caring Yuuri could cry . They did cry , Damián's kindness after the previous few housewardens they met is really refreshing . His attitude of living everyday to the fullest is something Yuuri really relates to , and I can imagine Yuuri hanging around Serendipia sometimes just for the warmth it has .

Its no secret that he's really homesick , and while all the constant stream of work does prevent them from thinking too much about it , sometimes he does need to relax . Damián is like a cool uncle to Yuuri basically , and they really appreciate his kindness.

>On Kreo Walter

"I've only seen him around a few times , and even though he's really pretty . I can't help but feel intimidated , like those prodigy anime protagonists who don't need to speak to have a large presence ."

The values and specialty of Mjestamode is one that Yuuri really likes and respects , if it weren't for Ramshackle , he would have probably put in a transfer . Having only seen Kreo briefly a few times here and there , Yuuri doesn't really have too much to say about the guy .

But Kreo is really interesting to him , Yuuri thinks that Kreo is very cute , like a sophisticated puppy ! (which granted he is a Dalmatian beastmen so Yuuri really isn't saying anything new)And Kreo's famous waitlist and fashion work is one of the things that intrigued Yuuri .

Personally he's not really into haute couture , but he finds Kreo's design to be captivating . You can expect Yuuri to be very curious about Kreo .While he may not talk much , the few times Yuuri does see him around , you can expect him to try and strike up a conversation .

Note : I really love your oc housewardens , so I hope this is a fun read for you. I may have made Kreo's section a bit longer than the others since I do have a bias towards ocs with fashion themes ^^;;

The part with Damián is kind of personal to me , which I apologise if it weirds you out , but he's just a really good character and does remind me of some people in my own life .

And lastly I hope the part where Yuuri slightly crushes on Kreo isn't too strange , and this is usually my way of proposing a ship idea so uhm hi ! If you do feel like this ship wouldn't work out I wouldn't mind at all , I'm honestly just testing the waters since I would love to interact with you more. ^^

#thank you for the ask ! #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #other's ocs #yuuri ramshackle #this took a bit long to write so it's a bit late #i hope you liked it!

[rayedraws]

Limited Commissions slots may be opening soon - Turnaround times

I'm thinking of opening limited slots for commissions. I'm a little hesitant as I have a few big jobs to take care of so my turnaround is undetermined. It can be weeks, maybe a month or two. Will you be happy to wait this long? I'm still sorting my TOS so I'm in no rush at the moment.

I do have some people on a waitlist that have asked for comics which I will fulfil. But I will be taking comics out my commission list. This is because of the amount of work I am putting into comics. I can no longer commit to the amount of work comics required with me getting ready to finalise details on my own project as well as my freelance is taking off and I'm getting a lot of work coming in.

Because I post across a lot of places, I can't fairly make it first come first serve without people in other timezones or have people on a site I check last never getting a spot. How do you feel with commission applications? I have seen people use google.docs to submit ideas and the artist keeps the list and goes down them based on what they can commit to (timewise). Is that something you'd guys be interested in?

Generally speaking, I usually do give priority to people who have never commissioned me before, then also choosing from a random name picker for other slots.

If I go down this method I'd likely keep the list and use a random name picker to continue to pick others at a later time. Of course I'd message if they're still interested. If not, or can't do it at that time, I'd skip them and pick someone else.

I'm currently working on my TOS, as well as hopefully doing some examples of my work. I think Canvas is very good for that but I'm not sure. Any advice is appreciated

I cannot guarantee when I can open slots in the future. But I'm happy to keep your name and idea on the list. And if a lot of time does pass by and you change your mind on the idea, and change it you are welcome to change it then and there without losing your spot.

Let me know what you think.

#raye #art comissions #commisison #furry art

[heartshvped]

MAY 5, 2023. 3:07 PM.

soooo many has happened and i wish i wrote them all down soon but here’s a brief recap of april just for memory’s sake:

• M and i agreed to stay friends, simply because i felt that we were moving too fast and after a week of staying at my grandparents’ house, i realized this was it. this was something i was willing to try and fight for no matter how insane my commitment and trust issues are at the moment. so i talked to him and told him how i felt and now we’re agreeing to “focus on building a friendship rathen than a relationship” first.

• on the 22nd, i had my yearbook + graduation photo taken. to be honest, i don’t feel all too happy about the results just because of how awful my hair looked but we took too many shots until i felt bad for the person taking the picture.

• on that same day, one of my friends, A was celebrating her 18th birthday in about a week so i went dress shopping with eight of my friends (funny how it was originally just supposed to be me, N, and J) and… i found the most perfect dress ever. it’s a silk lilac-colored (my favorite color btw), almost floor-length dress with a slit that goes down from my left thigh. it sounds pretty simple because it is and it’s definitely overpriced, but there’s no doubt that i’ll be wearing it over and over and overrrrr again just because i really do love it so much.

• after about a week, we went A’s party. i got ready with D at my house and it made me realize how much i do love getting ready. be it for school, for parties, literally anything. get ready especially when you’re with a friend is the most wholesome and therapeutic experience ever. anyway, so many people were there and the decorations were so pretty !!!

• it was during the after party when things got more pretty wild yet interesting. M got drunk for the first time and said a lot of interesting things to me, but nothing bad. i was pretty tipsy at that time too, but seeing the state of everything made me sober up fast before i felt my mind completely slip away. he kept complimenting me a lot and told me how much he liked it.

• D, M, and i rode with Z going home. he had a driver with him in case he would drink and i didn’t feel like inwas sober enough to have my parents come pick me up. when M got home, he told me vomited and had his dad help him. we called a bit too after that only because he insisted. then the next day at school, we all just laughed about it along with the pictures and videos D took from that night.

• i’m trying so hard not to feel too sentimental or thoughful (if that even is that right word to describe it) about things but on tuesday, Y asked me to accompany him going to the basketball court with just the two of us. before it happened, i was feeling really nervous and secretly intimidated given our history together so i was desperately asking a few people if they could come with. eventually, only Ad came. that day was nothing special and nothing significant happened. it just felt weird how we casually got to interact longer outside of school given everything that’s happened between us. and again, i don’t want to seem too sentimental about it because i’m sure no one cares about it anymore and neither do i. it really does just feel… weird.

• finally, the last three universities that i applied to released the application results this week. i was waitlisted for my third option and wasn’t able to get in to the other two. that probably explains why i’ve been feeling so dead this entire week. nonetheless, i’m happy to say that i feel pretty confident about my appeal for the top one university i want to be admitted too. i just hope it actually does work out the way i want it to.

while i was on the phone with M last night, we talked about how next week is technically our last week of regular classes in high school. the next two weeks after that will be for our final exams and the science/research fair. it’s not hitting me yet and that’s what scares me because this is literally what i’ve been dreading all year: growing up, graduation, college.

don’t get me wrong, of course i want to graduate and go to college. i just don’t think i’m ready yet (nor will i ever be, honestly). so many enjoyable moments have been happening recently and the thought of it all leaving just as fast as it had come scares me. i hope the bliss of high school never goes away.

as always, n.

#diary #heartshvped

[magnificentrebelpatrol]

According to Relationship Psychologist Claire Stott

We have our own set of freedom and also the commitment to a personal relationship. Since the IFI’s establishment, the United States and EU have contributed the vast majority of funds, with the United States allocating more than $543 million over the lifespan of the IFI. Funding for IFI is obligated via USAID. Nah, I like more modern things. On another hand, there is a lot more confusion about the relationships we have with our colleagues. You have to feel good to flirt, and that’s why we only show you the profiles relevant to your interests which maximizes your chances of online dating success. Do not respond when you feel a surge of emotions going through your mind. You are going to be able to look at their life as a good thing, and this life is not particularly tragic, but natural. Do not mix up professional life with personal issues. A meaningful and strong relationship at the workplace leads to better output, enhancing the personal productivity of the employees. יו סקס Employees who have a good work relationship exhibit high morale escalated work engagement and increased satisfaction at work. More than 1.2 million Americans work for U.K.

Sharing them in the workplace may not work in our favor more often than not. If you run into your co-worker at a party, movie theatre or supermarket, don’t start talking work. If you don’t value this area of your life enough to invest in it, you’re either not committed to the process, or you don’t realize the value in it. Don’t dwell on past mistakes. I also wonder if the arguments about how you are together in front of her parents are part of some bigger issues that may relate to why you have broken up in the past. Regarding Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom, “Nationalist” and “Republican” groups seek a united Ireland that includes Northern Ireland, while “Unionists” and “Loyalists” want Northern Ireland to remain part of the United Kingdom. U.S. priorities continue to be supporting the peace process and devolved political institutions in Northern Ireland and encouraging the implementation of the U.S.-brokered 1998 Belfast Agreement, also known as the Good Friday Agreement, and the 2006 St. Andrews Agreement.

Every U.S. state has jobs that are connected to an investment by a U.K. In 2008 the Embassy purchased a site in the Nine Elms area of Wandsworth with construction starting in 2013. The U.S. Manual vendor management tools such as paper forms and spreadsheets cause a number of disruptions like delayed payments, missed discounts, lost opportunities for savings, and strained vendor relationships. Life is about finding your personal perfection, so aim for the social tools that'll give you the edge on being the best you possible. Do not create confusion in your co-worker’s mind about the message being conveyed. Do not assume that your co-workers have understood the message you are trying to convey, but make sure they do. Sharing the burden of those who are having a tough time, will create goodwill among your co-workers. He will find them every few days and feel immensely loved and adored. Though not many people realize, it makes others feel very uncomfortable. As community builders, we care deeply about people and caring is part of our work. Do not talk to people in the restroom, even if the matter is very important.

But there are times when you may not find the required information or understand a mechanism even after putting in a lot of effort. With a bit of effort from your side, you can sure build good and meaningful professional relationships examples in your workplace. You can’t put all the effort into finding the “one” only to exit the app after the pandemic. The Verge attempted to set up a profile and was put on a waitlist, but the user sign-up flow suggests kindness is a key theme for the app. But she caveats that you should set a time limit of one year. We are each other’s number one source of foreign direct investment and two-way direct investment totals over $1 trillion. As the popularity of dating sim games has risen, so too has the number of these weird and wacky titles finding their way onto Steam. Respect is a simple and short word that goes a long way in building meaningful relationships. I’m prepared to believe that Russell truly cares about these things, that the goofball absurdism in this movie is his way of making all that deep-think palatable-in the same way that Woody Allen, particularly in his early stand-up routines and humor pieces for The New Yorker, joked about the Big Stuff that mattered to him most (“I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear”).

[pinkplantmakesstuff]

🍑🌷💗Sketch Commissions: Open 💗🌷🍑

Hello! I am currently taking sketch commissions alongside my other ones! I am also offering outfit design reference sheets, and can do alternative costumes, and can even design outfits to specifications without any references, though this adds a little extra as I need to do more work on them! If anyone's interested you can send me a message! I may not reply right away as messages are something I struggle with, but I do try to respond in the evenings (UK time!)

I'll only be working on one at a time but I have a waitlist, where I can add people and get in touch with them once I complete the current one! The same rules apply to these as my regular commissions, where you can find the information here: Regular Commissions Lots of Love, Matt!

Prices: Half-body: £20 Additional character: +£10

Full Body: £30 Additional Character: +£20

Additional Outfit with FULL reference: +£10 Additional Outfit I design: +£15

#commission info #commissions #guild wars 2 #gw2 #dungeons and dragons #d&d commission #commissions open #digital art #sketch commissions

[spookyhalloweennights]

Heat Waves (Bo: SFW)

Hello everyone! This was one of the asks sent in from my 500 follower event! I’ve decided that until the end of July, I will be writing free requests for those who send them in! This one deals with a heat wave! Requests may be a bit slow after July 5th as I start my new job July 6th! I hope everyone’s summer is going well! If you like my writing and want to read more, check out my MASTERLIST! REQUESTS ARE OPEN! *Disclaimer: None of the pictures are mine! All credit goes to the original artist! 

*I am also currently on mobile please excuse the formatting errors if any! 

Summer had always been a welcoming time, you would travel to your parents vacation home and spend the summers there. You were lucky in the fact that your job allowed you to work from home instead of having to go into an office every single day. Which led to some of the most interesting mornings when you had to take conference calls from your porch, you could tell that a few of your coworkers were jealous of the luxury summer home you had. While it was nice, this year was worse than others since you were currently in the middle of a heat wave and your air conditioner had finally died. The thing was ancient and you were surprised that it had lasted this long but… Of course it had to be in the middle of a heat wave, that would have just been your luck.

   You had called several companies that dealt with air conditioners but you had gotten no luck from any of them, it seemed like a lot of people’s air conditioners had died as well and now there was a small waitlist. You had sighed in exasperation and booked the earliest appointment you could with the company you were currently on the phone with. Defeated, you tossed your phone off to the side and went back into your home only to get dressed in your favorite swimsuit and coverup before making your way to the beach. Even though it was miserable you were going to try and make the best of it while waiting for repairs.

   Wading out into the water about waist deep, you saw the flash of black and white scales underneath the surface before deep yellow eyes met yours. A smile spread across your features as you lowered yourself into the water a little more in order to embrace the merman you had come to know. However, he had seemed almost hesitant to accept the welcoming embrace, you were puzzled as usually he was so eager to greet you.

   “It’s far too hot.” He grumbled once he had let go of you, you nodded in agreement as he drifted beside you, bobbing with each wave as he let them wash over him.

   “I agree with that.” You responded as you sank down into the water, fully submerging yourself in the cool water. He eyed you warily for a moment before he decided to speak again.

   “Don’t humans have machines that can cool them off?” He asked as he splashed some water at you with his tail, a grin spreading across his features.

   “Typically, but mine broke and there��s a waitlist to get it fixed so… it’s gonna be awhile before it’s repaired.” You responded with slight annoyance creeping into your tone at the idea of the next couple of days being overly hot. Though you returned the same playful banter by splashing water back at him.

   “Well, you can always spend the day out here in the water with me.” He suggested as he swam around you. “It may not be too hot for you but it is for me.” He hummed as he looked up at you.

   “Nice try, but I unfortunately have work to do unlike some…” You teased, a huff coming from him at the notion that he doesn’t do any sort of work.

   “I work!” He protested as he splashed you again with a quiet grumble, you laughed as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

   “Of course you do.” You responded with a cheeky smile, watching as his gaze turned away from you, flustered at the previous action he had gone back to drifting beside you in the waves.

   “Whatever.”

#exophilia #monster #monster lover #monster x reader #monster x gn reader #gn reader #merman #merman x reader #merman x gn reader #merman lover #monster boyfriend #merman boyfriend #Spooky’sWriting #spookyhalloweennights

[dank-meme-legend]

I’m gonna give you all my reasoning/evidence as to why Payton Hobart is autistic. No one asked for this, but I don’t care.

First off, Payton has a special interest in politics and political figures. He knows a lot about the lives of past presidents as well as a lot about politics in general. He’s been invested in politics since he was a kid and the strong passion for it hasn’t seemed to die down at all.

Payton talks really fast, which is a symptom of autism that I’ve seen in myself as well as a few other autistic people I’ve been around.

He hides and masks his emotions. He rarely shows vulnerability or sadness. When he does, it’s mostly around River and his mother. He has two people who can truly see how he feels about things.

River seems to be the embodiment of letting Payton unmask and truly show who he is. Payton is vulnerable around him and even cries in front of him, things he doesn’t do around any of his other friends.

The scene in season one, episode one, “Pilot” where Payton is waitlisted for Harvard reads to me like an autistic meltdown. He’s yelling, pacing, talking really fast, he even angrily smacks a nearby tree leaf/branch at the mention of Mandarin, most likely because of River, who is dead by this point in the series and is heavily associated with the language, as he was Payton’s tutor.

Speaking of River (again), I see the clear-as-day difference in the way River and Payton each run their campaigns at the start of the show. With Astrid pulling the strings, River’s campaign focuses more on the social side of things, such as the big point of his campaign, wanting people to not be alone with the struggles of mental health issues.

Payton has little to no, what I am calling, “social focuses”. He doesn’t take action with things like gun control until River’s death. Before the tragedy, Payton doesn’t have anything in his campaign about helping students with their mental health.

In that same, “Pilot” episode, after River’s death, Payton talks to his mother about how he can’t feel like others, worrying that he may be a sociopath. He (paraphrased) says, “Maybe I’m just wired differently.” Amongst 99% of autistic people shown in media, that phrase is used to describe them, wired differently. To show that the autistic individual is not broken, but their brain works differently, it’s wires cross in different directions and ways.

This all makes perfect sense in my head, but I understand that it might not make sense to others. Even if it makes no sense, thanks for reading this anyway.

#the politician #the politician netflix #payton hobart #the politician headcanons #autistic payton hobart #autism #autistic characters #headcanon #ramble #personal headcanon

[maireadralph]

Just a little update now that I feel up to writing a lot

First off I just want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who participated in the Entrapdak Zine - maaaan that was awesome!!  I’m still gobsmacked that there was not only interest but also overwhelming support for what is a little simple PDF zine - you guys, gals and non-binary pals even surpassed the Johto Zine in page count I was not expecting that to happen!

Secondly oh hell yeah I’m up for doing another Entrapdak Zine same as the current one but with a few changes:  

I’m trying to work out a sizing for art that’ll make every art borderless where possible (that’s always been a goal of mine) and make a template available for anyone who’d like to use that

If something comes in landscape/wallpaper sizing I’ll experiment with having a segment at the end that’s a two page spread so that those Readers who can set their PDF reader to two page spread can enjoy that feature

Again I’ve no problem with artwork coming in that’s not the template sizing - that is a benefit of a digital zine, we don’t need to worry about that stuff so much we have a weird freedom in that respect.  If you’re okay with borders, I’m okay with putting it in.

IMO Yes to keeping:

Posting older work (fics or art)

AUs (spacebats, spacebats everywhere)

Fanfics

Poems

No sign up, just submit, anyone can submit regardless of age

Submitting Anonymously will still be an option for those that need it

Everything with pro-Entrapdak content welcome

Other characters allowed as long as Entrapdak are the main focus

PG-13 rating so that everyone can enjoy it anywhere

Digital (easier to share - it still blows my mind that as soon as I posted it online here in London, it was available in America, Europe and the rest of the world at the EXACT SAME time)

A secret post-deadline grace period (but longer this time maybe two weeks?)

One art per person on the cover (I just thought that was a super cute way of making everyone be equal)

Free (that way there’s no money being made so hopefully no legal problems should arise)

Pretty much 99% the same everything

I may have to mention minimum clothing requirements in future. There was some submissions I had to discuss with my hubby if that was suitable for a PG13 audience.  It's all part of the learning curve so don’t you worry 😂 (spoiler: I thinking the minimum clothing requirements for male presenting characters to be speedos/underpants and for female presenting characters to be a bikini/bra and underpants and if not sure please use the female presenting criteria)

Is there anything people would like to see or would prefer things to be done differently?  I’m open to constructive feedback  This is our community’s Zine afterall!  I know some Zines have sign ups and waitlists and here’s me in the corner with a catcher’s mitt screaming “yeet it at me and I’ll catch it!!” 🤣

For reference I’m thinking the next Zine would be available by November/December time - in time for the Holiday Season.  I’m not sure on exact timings yet as I need to work out my own personal timings for that time of the year so please bare with me.  As to the theme (if anyone wants it) I’m thinking the vague “Holiday” or “Holiday Seasons” (which can be flexible enough to be interpreted as Easter, summer holidays, Halloween and the Christmas season) but if someone has a better idea I’d love to hear it! 💜💙

Side note 1: To anyone who has submitted work via the email address please know as promised every email in that accounts inbox and sent folders was sent to the trash approx three days after the Zine went live.  They will be wiped fully from the Trash automatically within 30 days, if someone wishes for them to be deleted faster just say so and I will nuke the lot immediately.  Currently only my laptop and iphone have access to that email account and there are no other records of any personal email addresses.  I did have a Google Excel sheet I kept a track of submissions but that only has the same social medias that were shared in the credits pages

Side Note 2: Ray (formerly known as Rae) knows this Zine exists.  I don’t know if they’ve read it or if they are allowed to partake or comment in fandom related things but please know they know it exists (and have been ❤️ing some of the works over on Twitter)

~~~~~~~

Okay that’s Zine ideas out of the way for now.  Next on my agenda is addressing Hordak Appreciation.  I did openly discuss this previously and I was thinking of August 2nd to co-inside with the anniversary of the episode “Huntara” (aka if you didn’t like Hordak then, you certainly did after that episode)

However that’s too soon after the Zine (whoops that ran a little over) and I don’t want to burn anyone out.  I’m not saying we can’t do something for August 2nd, I’m just saying it’s not fair to expect everyone to be ready or able to do something for August 2nd - we all have lives outside of the internet and fandom.  

So I’m thinking with Entrapta’s birthday being Jan 24th and Hordak’s being Feb 18th...

…why not make that Entrapdak Appreciation Season with the birthdays being the individual character’s appreciation day (and we get Valentine’s Day as a bonus 😉😘)  

During this time we can share fanart and fanfics, stream the show on Netflix party, go on mic chats whatever - just have a lot of fun SFW and NSFW (but please tag NSFW for those that don’t wish to see it) .

Also I’d like to note that for a special Day I’ll be personally be starting that “day” from 00:01 in the earliest possible timezone (UTC+14) and finishing on 00:01 on the latest possible timezone (UTC-12) so that we can all enjoy the festivities at the same time and for as long as possible - that’s my plan 🎉

Again please throw some ideas around, maybe we can do prompts or crossovers or ficlets or something - there’s months to plan this so let’s plan something fun

…

…

Wow I wrote a lot...see I’m dangerous when I get the chance to write stuff 😂

#hordak #Entrapta #entrapdak #entrapdak zine #spacebat appreciation #long post #long post is long #planning #online events #I hope I've used the correct terms for NB and x-presenting #buzz rambles

[duelistkingdom]

you’d come back to me

chapter two: at the seams

[first chapter] [master list] [next chapter] [read on ao3]

Summary: Seto Kaiba has been presumed dead for four years after the events of Dark Side of Dimensions. His return causes both unresolved feelings of grief to be brought to the surface and the past to be dragged right back up. In hopes of helping Seto move on and reintegrate back into society at large, Mokuba asks Yugi to work on Spherium II with Seto. Never one to leave a friend hanging, Yugi agrees. Over the course of the project, Seto and Yugi both come to terms with their mutual grief and grow towards a better understanding of each other.

Rating: T

Ships: Yugi Mutou/Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba/Rebecca Hopkins, Katusya Jonouchi/Mai Kujaku

Warnings: aged up characters, grief, references to suicide

consider supporting me on kofi

Kaiba stared up at the large building as he tried to build up the courage to actually enter the building. The appointment Mokuba had scheduled for him was part of the plan to help him reenter society at large. Apparently he’d gotten this idea from one of his friends and Seto scowled. A lot had changed in the missing years, apparently. It took everything in him to finally enter the building and head up to the office.

The first thing he noted about the office was that the therapist’s desk was pushed to the wall. The second thing he noted was the line of degrees, including a doctorate in psychology. He noted the name on the degree: Makoto Reiki. Seto also noted the way the chairs were laid out. Each option put Seto in the position of having to actually look at the therapist. Not only that, it became obvious to him that there was a trap laying in each of the choices. Surely the therapist was already poking around for weaknesses to use to his advantage.

Everything was, after all, a game. No one knew that better than Seto. “Well,” the doctor asked and Seto instantly disliked the smile on the doctor’s face. “Aren’t you going to sit? Surely it has to be uncomfortable to stand around like that.”

“I’m fine,” Seto said, crossing his arms. “Shall we get on with this pointless endeavor?”

“If that is how you feel,” Dr. Reiki said before turning back to his computer. Seto instantly felt irked when the man began to work, actively ignoring him.

This had to be yet another trick on his part. Perhaps to see how long Seto could handle boredom until it actually drove him crazy. “Aren’t you going to try to talk to me?”

“You said it yourself that you consider this to be pointless,” the doctor said, not bothering to look up from his computer. “Your brother is going to pay me regardless if you talk to me.”

Seto scowled. “So you’re a con artist.”

“If that is how you’d like to view me,” Reiki said with a shrug. “You can continue to waste your time and your brother’s money by standing there, or you can sit down and introduce yourself. It’s your choice.”

For a minute, Seto considered. He could indeed simply do as the doctor suggested. Though there was one last tactic he could try to get out of this appointment and appointments like it. “Or I could tell Mokuba that you’re wasting his money and that we should abandon this idea entirely.”

“You certainly could do that,” the doctor remarked, turning towards Seto. This threat didn’t seem to rattle him in the slightest. “However, I do have a waitlist of people who wish to see me and there are people who would like to see but do not have the funds. I come highly recommended in my field. I will be fine without you as a patient. Although, I imagine your brother might not let the idea of you seeing a professional go.”

“What?”

“You disappeared for four years under mysterious circumstances. Your brother takes temporary control of the company, insisting you’ll be back despite evidence to suggest that you are dead,” Reiki said, and it felt like his eyes were peering right into Seto’s soul. “You reappear four years later. Unchanged. Surely your brother is concerned about the effects of what might have happened to you and would like you to process it.”

Seto gave a soft ‘tch’. “I knew you were a hack,” Seto said, pressing down the feeling of anger. This man didn’t know him and he’d certainly never understand what Seto went through. “There’s nothing to discuss about those missing four years. I’m fine.”

“In that case, perhaps it might help if you simply spoke with me,” the therapist said, gesturing to the chair in front of him. “If you’re fine, then a session or two where we simply talk is all it would take for me to give you a clean bill of health.”

For that, Seto had no argument. Seto sighed before taking the seat the therapist had directed him to. “Fine,” Seto said. “What do we talk about in these sessions?”

“Let’s start with something simple,” Dr. Reiki said, finally facing him. For the first time, Seto could see that Reiki appeared to be in his late forties, early fifties. “Such as, how you feel about your return to Earth.”

How he felt? Seto’s eyes narrowed as he tried to size up what Reiki was after. There had to be an acceptable answer. Instantly he discounted the true answer - he felt nothing. Seto knew from prior experience that this was not what people wanted to hear. “I feel relieved,” Seto said, deciding that was the best course of action. “It means that the technology to cross dimensions works. To a degree, anyway. Perhaps with some fine tuning, it can dimension jump without the loss of time.”

“I see,” Dr. Reiki remarked and Seto felt strange as he noted something down on a notepad. “How do you feel about the missing years? Four years is quite some time to miss.”

“There’s nothing that can be done about it,” Seto replied automatically. Immediately he cursed the statement. Seto had a feeling that was not what Reiki was looking to hear. Even worse: he could not read Reiki. “That is… four years have passed already. There is no point in dwelling on something that cannot be fixed.”

Reiki raised a brow and Seto got the feeling that he somehow knew every little thing that Seto had ever dwelled on. “Is that why you destroyed Alcatraz all those years ago? Because it couldn’t be fixed?”

“No,” Seto said, rather bluntly. “I’d rather not talk about Alcatraz.”

“I see,” Reiki remarked as he made another note. Seto felt briefly like he was being judged for his refusal. “You know, I’ve been curious about something. The last time Yugi Mutou and you dueled, you kept insisting that he be someone else. Would you like to explain?”

“It’s complicated,” Seto said, not about to explain something he barely understood himself. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Then try to explain it to me.”

Seto wasn’t sure where to start. Honesty with strangers was not one of his strong suits nor was self reflection. The last time he’d allowed himself to look back had been when the Pharaoh had forced him to look at his past. “I regret blowing up the Duel Tower,” he finally said, figuring it was the best starting point. “I hadn’t known at the time that it would be the last time I would get to Duel the Pharaoh.”

“Mr. Mutou’s Dueling alter-ego?”

“More than that,” Seto said, hesitant now. “Forget it. You wouldn’t believe me.”

“I see,” the doctor said as he leaned back in his chair. “Your brother prepared me for some of the… shall we say less plausible elements of the story? According to him, Mr. Mutou’s Dueling alter-ego was actually the spirit of a forgotten Egyptian Pharaoh. You would be right to say that is hard to believe.”

“If you knew, then why did you ask?”

“Professional curiosity. I wanted to see if your version of events would line up with your brother’s,” Reiki said with a light shrug and an easy going smile. “I take it then that your brother did not exaggerate.”

“He did not,” Seto said begrudgingly. “After Battle City, I only saw the Pharaoh once more before he left for Egypt. Yugi came back. He did not. At first… I thought perhaps it was simply because the Puzzle… That maybe, if I simply fixed it...”

“I take it that this was not the case?” Seto straightened further as Reiki’s eyes seemed to bear straight into him, searching for weakness. How was he doing this? Seto did not want to reveal the deepest parts of his soul to this complete stranger. “It’s fine, Seto. Everything stays within these walls.”

“I sought out one last Duel with the Pharaoh,” Seto finally said, hating the idea of Reiki coming up with his own conclusions more than being honest with the man. “I didn’t even get that.”

“What exactly happened?” Reiki seemed honestly curious. “Out of scientific curiosity, of course. From your point of view, what happened when you were gone for those four years?”

“If it’s in the interest of science,” Seto replied automatically. Scientific logs he could do. “I had managed to accurately pinpoint the dimension in which the Pharaoh was located with the dimension canon, however, I had been concerned that there may be more alternate versions of the Pharaoh that I had not accounted for. For me, it was only a few hours in which we discussed why I was there. He refused to Duel me and sent me back, claiming that a Duel was not what I sought.”

Seto clenched his fists, angry that the Pharaoh had dared to suggest that Seto did not know his own thoughts. He had been as arrogant as ever. “I went all that way for nothing,” Seto growled, unable to help himself. “And what was I left with? Four missing years, a brother who doesn’t want to talk to me, and a world that moved on without me. I was launched into a future that is meaningless without the Pharaoh in it.”

It was a slip that Seto hadn’t even noticed himself making. Dr. Reiki had not interrupted once and remained infuriatingly calm. “You think the future is meaningless because a ghost that was not meant to exist in this world doesn’t exist in it?” Seto froze and did not answer the question. He crossed his arms across his chest, hoping to block the therapist from him. “You don’t have to tell me now. You can tell me at our next appointment.”

Seto had no intention of returning to this therapist’s office.

 It had been three months since Seto Kaiba had wandered back into Yugi’s life. Yugi had once thought that maybe he and Seto could be friends. Now? There was a lot of resentment within Yugi regarding how Seto just left Mokuba. He knew that it wasn’t his place to be angry about it. Mokuba was Seto’s younger brother, not his. He shouldn’t care this much. But he’d seen how upset Mokuba had been when Seto left. Yugi was there when Seto wasn’t. Maybe that did make it Yugi’s place. Yugi had, after all, been the one to help Mokuba through the worst of it.

And there were a lot of complex emotions that went into Seto being back. Most of them were conflicting. However, there was one thing that rang out underneath all those emotions, and it was that Yugi was, at the very least, grateful that Seto was still alive. He was grateful that there was another chance to try at being friends with Seto. Not only that, he was grateful that Mokuba didn’t have to say goodbye forever to his only remaining family. Mokuba wasn’t orphaned for the third time. Sure, Mokuba had managed to build a life in Seto’s absence.Yugi had been the one that Mokuba went to when he first wanted to ask Rebecca out, and at the time, Yugi could only think that it should have been Seto instead. Seto should’ve been the one to listen to Mokuba’s concerns about asking his crush out. It should’ve been Seto who had been waiting for Mokuba to come home from his first date. And it should’ve been Seto that Mokuba told when things were starting to get serious. Maybe Yugi shouldn’t be fixating on the things Seto should have been there for. He was starting to get angry again.

Didn’t Seto realize how deeply selfish he had been? When he came back, there wasn’t a single apology. Nothing that admitted he had been wrong. Nothing about how it might have impacted everyone around him. No, it had been him complaining that Mokuba wouldn’t let him use his laptop. It was arguing with Yugi when he suggested they dismantle the dimension hopping pod. Nothing to admit why Mokuba and Yugi might feel the way they do.

Yugi was familiar with the layout of Kaiba Corp but in his frustration, he must have gotten distracted and taken a wrong turn somewhere. “Great,” he muttered to no one in particular, realizing he was lost. He couldn’t even remember how he got here - just that he had wanted to be alone and started walking. Seemed he was more up in his thoughts than he first realized. Yugi couldn’t even blame Atem for this and the knife twisted in his heart just a little deeper at the mere thought of Atem’s name.

Yugi had put the memory loss down to ADHD when it first started happening - when Atem first began sharing his mind. He didn’t want to worry his friends about it back then. He still didn’t like to worry his friends now... Yugi realized he was starting to get lost in his thoughts again. Now while figuring out how to get back to his office was not a good time to get lost in his own head. This needed all his attention, especially when he was on a floor of Kaiba Corp he’s never visited before. Kaiba Corp’s indistinguishable, monotone hallways made it difficult to create markers in his head of where he was. He was completely turned around when he opened a door and found himself in a circular room with bright lights and a different kind of clinical feel. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. A computer voice announced, “Program start.”

“Sorry, I didn’t ask for any program to start,” Yugi called out, well-aware it was probably not programmed for his voice if he’d never been there. Did Mokuba know about this? Was this a leftover project from before Seto left? His eyes went wide as the room around him shimmered digitally . “Okay, that’s freaky,” Yugi remarked, turning to where he entered. He frowned when he saw the door was gone. Instead, what appeared to be a church now surrounded him. Only Seto would be dramatic enough to recreate a church within the walls of Kaiba Corp. “How am I supposed to get out of here?”

“How did you get in here, Yugi?”

Yugi froze. The voice was so familiar. So achingly familiar that Yugi was certain he had to be dreaming. Except that voice would never call him by his name. That voice had only ever called him “partner” or “my other self”. It was so familiar and so wrong. He slowly turned around and oh, it was almost him too. No, this was not the man he missed every day - so much that it ached in his chest. Yugi had thought he had fully moved on, but seeing how he looked when he shared a body with Yugi felt like a knife to his heart. If Yugi killed Seto, it was only fair, because Seto had stabbed Yugi in the heart with this false image of Atem first.

“You aren’t him,” Yugi said, surprised at how dry his throat was. He cleared his throat, trying to keep the tears from spilling. Oh, he had every right to find Seto and stab him for this. But killing Seto wouldn’t be a balm to this aching pain. “You… You’re gone. You’ve been gone for years.”

The false image didn’t seem to understand this. He titled his head, as if he were confused. It hurt so bad that Yugi felt like there was a small black hole in his heart, ripping apart his insides. Yugi would give anything to put a stopper in this pain at this moment. Every single feeling he ever had about Atem came rushing back. The last time he saw this face, it had taken everything in him to not foolishly beg him to stay. To beg the love of his life to abandon his family for him.

No. Yugi had let Atem walk out of his life. What stood before Yugi wasn’t him. Yugi desperately reminded himself of that, clinging to reality. This wasn’t Atem and it would be unwise to lose himself to a fantasy. It was so hard to remember the truth of what happened when Yugi so desperately wanted it to be him. He wanted to have made the selfish choice.

“I don’t understand,” the image said.

Yugi nearly choked on his own tears, the scar ripping open. He’d thought he’d moved on and managed to get over this grief. It now threatened to swallow him whole and drown him. “Computer, end program,” Yugi said, not even certain it would work. The hologram remained standing in front of him, looking confused by Yugi’s reaction. Of course it didn’t, Yugi thought again, the panic setting in. Kaiba couldn’t have possibly known how deep that friendship went or when it had bled into romantic feelings. It had been something Yugi had kept so close to his chest. “How did Kaiba end this program?”

Once again, the false image of Atem seemed confused by the question. “Kaiba normally comes in and duels me,” he said.

Of course. Just like the first time he was forced to duel Atem. Must it always be like that? Yugi regretted never once dueling Atem for fun. Maybe then he wouldn’t have this hard association with dueling Atem and Atem’s death. Yugi’s life was full of those little “if”s. If he had done this, if he had done that. Those little “if”s had never been so loud as they were right now. He thought he might go deaf from how they were screaming at him. “If I duel you and win, would that end the program?”

“Kaiba would typically leave after he dueled me.”

Yugi took that as a “yes”. “I don’t have a Duel Disk,” Yugi remarked with a frown. He also left his deck at home. Well, the one he was favoring now, anyway. The false image of Atem’s eyes brightened, reaching out to grab Yugi’s hand. “Hey, wait, what are you doing?”

“You said you don’t have a Duel Disk,” he said, pulling Yugi towards the altar. Oh, this was just sick. Kaiba couldn’t have known Yugi would wind up interacting with this false image of Atem. He was certain that whatever reason Kaiba had for programming a spare Duel Disk in the altar, it wasn’t to hurt Yugi specifically. But all Yugi could think about now was how he’d always thought… Maybe, something could have worked out.

Something could’ve changed, and Atem really could’ve stayed with him forever. They could have built a proper life. Yugi blinked back tears as he reminded himself this wasn’t real. This wasn’t really Atem. Atem was dead. Atem had made his choice and Yugi had no choice but to continue to live on. It would have been an insult to Atem’s memory if he hadn’t moved forward.

Yugi yanked his hand back from the AI and reminded himself he needed to hold himself together. He couldn’t afford to get distracted like this. He could only think of how he once thought that… He banished the thought from his mind. “You don’t have to touch me,” Yugi said, shakier than he wanted to be. “Just…show me.”

Once again, the AI seemed confused by Yugi’s reactions. He imagined Seto must not have been as willing to remember that Atem was dead. The AI might not even be aware that it’s based on a dead man. Yugi couldn’t bring himself to ask the AI if he knew. It was a question that Yugi knew would only hurt him, regardless of the answer. He gestured to the empty altar and Yugi was instantly frustrated.

“It takes a while to generate sometimes.”

Generate… Yugi’s thought didn’t even finish as a Duel Disk began to materialize in front of him. Well, that certainly was never released to the public. “Solid Vision Duel Disk,” Yugi said, unable to help but be a little impressed by Seto’s tenacity. Out of all the things he expected, that was not one of them. It reminded him a little bit of the Duel Links network that Mokuba had released shortly after Kaiba’s disappearance. “I’m guessing he was working on this before he left?” The AI did not have an answer for him. He made a mental note to ask Mokuba about the project later. “Would it also let me build a deck here?”

“Kaiba uses virtual cards.”

It was such a simple answer and Yugi frowned. It was strange for this conversation to be framed within the context of what Kaiba did. Kaiba did this, Kaiba did that. Yugi and Atem’s conversations when Atem had been alive were rarely about Seto. “Right,” he said, putting the Solid Vision Duel Disk on his left arm. Some strange headgear was there too and Yugi barely figured out how to put it on. The mere thought of his deck back at home loaded cards into the virtual Duel Disk.

“Alright. Alright,” he said slowly, not sure if he should address the false image as he would Atem. Calling this fake Atem ‘my other self’ felt wrong but calling Atem by his name felt wrong too. Surely there was a compromise somewhere. “Then, let’s duel.”

The AI activated his Duel Disk a little too quickly for Yugi’s liking. It was too reminiscent of the ceremonial duel. Another detail Kaiba couldn’t have possibly been aware of.

“Let’s.”

Yugi nodded as the cards appeared before him, his eyes widening. It was an exact replica of his deck - as if the system was aware of his thoughts. It even shuffled the deck automatically and drew five cards. This is what Seto had been working on when he’d disappeared. Yugi got a glimpse of it four years ago and it was still strange to see. His starting hand wasn’t the worst he’d ever had as he examined the cards that had been generated. What deck did Seto give this AI? “You go first,” Yugi said, deciding to get a glimpse of what was in the AI’s deck.

Yugi noted that Seto had given the AI a paper card deck. He wondered if there was a reason behind it or if Seto just wanted to see if he could make solid vision cards that looked and acted like real cards. “First I summon Magician’s Rod in attack mode,” the AI stated and Yugi raised a brow. So it was based around Dark Magician. He shouldn’t have been surprised and yet he was. “I put the spell card Dark Magical Circle in my hand, and now I activate it. This allows me to look at the top three cards of my deck and add a card to my hand, so long as it has ‘Dark Magician’ in its text.” The AI revealed Dark Magic Inheritance to Yugi before returning the other two cards to his deck. “Next I discard Magician’s Robe from my hand to special summon Apprentice Illusion Magician. When she’s special summoned, she adds a Dark Magician from my deck to my hand! That ends my turn.”

Nothing that Yugi couldn’t handle. “Alright, my turn then,” Yugi said as he drew. “First, I’m going to summon Chocolate Magician Girl! She allows me to discard a spellcaster from my hand to draw a card!” He discarded Dark Magician, pulling out Clear Kuriboh. “I’m setting two cards,” he announced as he set two cards. Chocolate didn’t have the attack points to withstand an attack from Apprentice Illusion Magician. If he attacked Magician’s Rod, then he’d be wide open for an attack from Apprentice. “That ends my turn. Let’s see what you can do.”

The AI had the audacity to smirk. “Is that the best you’ve got,” he said, almost teasingly. Once again, Yugi had to remind himself that this wasn’t real. This wasn’t really Atem and he couldn’t let himself get lost in memories. “Such a shame. I’d expect better of you. I draw!” Yugi’s brow furrowed as he tried to think of what the AI could possibly do in an attempt to direct his attention away from the comment. “I’m going to set a card. And now, Apprentice will attack Chocolate!”

Yugi had gotten familiar with people being caught off guard by Chocolate’s effect but he didn’t expect the AI to actually be one of them. He couldn’t help himself: he laughed as Chocolate turned back to wink at him. “Really, I would think you’d know better than that,” Yugi said as Chocolate sprang out of the way of Apprentice’s attack while her wand waved to call back a familiar friend. “When Chocolate is targeted for attack, she calls forth a fallen ally to help and halves the attack of the attacker! Come forth, Dark Magician!”

Dark Magician sprang up on the field, twisting out in a graceful arc. Yugi had to admire the amount of time and dedication Seto put forth into each monster’s animated movements. Every card seemed to have its own personality.

“What?”

The AI’s response was so like Atem’s that Yugi almost wanted to believe that it was him and that he was dueling his old friend and… he couldn’t get caught up on that. This wasn’t Atem, he reminded himself. He needed to focus. “That’s not all! Your attack is redirected to Dark Magician! And Dark Magician strikes back with Dark Magic Attack!”

Apprentice was destroyed. The AI smirked, as if this was a minor inconvenience, as if he’d expected Yugi to have a counter. It was lines of code, Yugi reminded himself. He was nothing more than lines of code. The AI didn’t have feelings. “Very good, Yugi,” Atem said and it twisted in Yugi’s heart. He wanted to ask the AI to call him ‘partner’ instead but that would be giving in to the delusion. He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do so. “Magician’s Rod cannot hope to destroy its master. I end my turn.”

Yugi drew into his deck, pulling out Berry Magician Girl. “I summon Berry Magician Girl in attack mode,” Yugi announced, pushing past his complicated feelings towards the AI. He needed to get out of here. He needed to focus. If Yugi was right, then Kaiba would’ve programmed this with some of Atem’s more powerful cards to support his ace. Yugi had no say in the deck this AI was playing. That thought twisted like a knife as he remembered how Atem and he used to build decks together. This was something they did together. “When Berry Magician Girl is summoned, she adds another Magician Girl to my hand! And I chose none other than Dark Magician Girl. Which I then discard to activate Chocolate’s effect of allowing me to draw another card.” This draw gave him nothing he could use right away but it didn’t matter. “Next I activate Gold Sarcophagus, banishing Monster Reborn from my deck for my next two Standby phases. Finally, Dark Magician attacks Magician’s Rod with Dark Magic Attack!”

“Not so fast,” the AI announced and Yugi realized he’d made a mistake in attacking too quickly. He’d forgotten about Atem’s set card. “I reveal my facedown, Time Chain! Your attack is negated and both our monsters are now chained. They are unable to attack or defend for the next two turns, returning back to our fields in the end phase.”

Perhaps this AI might have something of value to it, Yugi thought absently. It was definitely not Atem. He had to remind himself of that. This was not Atem and it would be foolish to lose himself in the fantasy. However, it certainly played well enough to help new Duelists and returning Duelists rediscover the game. It was the first time in a long while that Yugi had felt honestly challenged and it was a bit refreshing. “Well played…,” Yugi said, halting himself just before he slipped out an ‘other me’. “I end my turn.”

“It’s my turn,” he said before drawing a card and examining it. “I set a card and end my turn.”

Yugi’s brow furrowed as he tried to think of what the set card could be. There were cards he was familiar with in the AI’s deck so far but a couple seemed new. Like they were cards Kaiba thought that Atem might use with no concern about the input that Yugi himself would have. It was pointless to dwell on this thought. “Alright. My turn,” Yugi said as he drew yet again. Marshmacron. Not bad, he thought.

“My trap activates,” the AI announced. “Reveal Eternal Soul! Eternal Soul allows me special summon my Dark Magician onto the field. And now Dark Magical Circle activates, targeting Berry Magician Girl to be banished!”

“Not so fast,” Yugi said, his reaction much quicker than he thought possible. “Berry, when targeted by a card effect, switches to defense mode and calls forth another Magician Girl from my deck! Say hello to Apple Magician Girl!”

Apple Magician Girl swooped in, a light peal of laugh from her as she twirled around. Berry Magician Girl was still banished, but now he had another defense lined up. “You seem to have a lot of Magician Girls.”

“You would’ve liked ‘em,” Yugi said, unable to help himself in his retort. There was a small smile creeping across his face as he remembered how much Atem liked monsters like Watapon and Kuriboh. There was no doubt in his mind that if the Magician Girls existed when Atem was still sharing a body with him, they would’ve had them all in their deck. He wanted to ask Atem if he remembered that and it hit Yugi like a truck. He was starting to forget to remind himself this wasn’t Atem. He was getting too lost in this. “I mean… Nevermind. I set a monster face down in defense mode. Next I activate my trap, Dimension Sphinx, targeting Apple Magician Girl. You should see what it does. That ends my turn.”

Yugi would’ve liked to attack but without Dark Magician, he had no hope of getting past Atem’s own Dark Magician. The solution for removing Dark Magician was further in his deck. Insead, he just had to hope that the AI’s deck was not as well thought out as half the decks he and Atem used to build. It was Kaiba building a deck around Dark Magician, after all. “I draw,” the AI announced. “The effect of Eternal Soul allows me to put Thousand Knives from my deck into my hand. And now I activate Bond Between Teacher and Student, which special summons Dark Magician Girl and set a spell card. Next I activate Thousand Knives and target your set card!”

“Thanks,” Yugi shot back as Thousand Knives destroyed the first Marshmacaron. “Because when Marshmaracron is destroyed, it allows me to special summon from my deck two more Marshmaracrons in defense mode!”

“Fine,” Atem responded as he turned over Dark Magic Inheritance. “I activate Dark Magic Inheritance by banishing Bond Between Teacher and Student and Thousand Knives from my graveyard to add Magician’s Combination to my hand, which I now set. And now… Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl will use Twin Burst Magic to destroy both of your Marshmaracrons! That ends my turn.”

Yugi was expecting that. He suspected the AI might learn from previous mistakes and thus the reluctance to attack Chocolate Magician Girl or Apple Magician Girl. The only safe monsters to attack had been those Marshmacarons. It’s exactly what Yugi would’ve done. Yugi’s next draw provided him with Silent Magician LVL 8. He couldn’t summon this without the first stage so there was only one choice. “I activate Chocolate’s effect by discarding Silent Magician LVL 8 to draw a card!” Magician’s Defense, which was workable with both Chocolate and Apple on the field. “Since it’s been two turns since Time Chain was activated, Dark Magician returns to the field! I’ll set a card and attack Dark Magician with Dark Magician!”

“What?”

“That’s right, both Dark Magicians are destroyed. But that’s not all,” Yugi said as he revealed the Dark Magic Veil in his hand. “I activate Dark Magic Veil, allowing me to pay 1000 life points to summon a Dark spellcaster from my hand or graveyard. And I chose Dark Magician! That ends my turn!”

The biggest threat on Atem’s board was taken care of. Dark Magician was a key component in most of his strategies and if he didn’t have it, then Yugi could focus on the next threat. Whatever was in his deck, Yugi was confident he could take care of it. “First, I activate the spell card Card of Sanctity,” he announced. “This requires us both to draw until we have six cards in hand.” Then he must not have anything useful in hand, Yugi thought as he drew his next four cards. “I now activate Chaos Form! By sacrificing Black Luster Soldier, I can ritual summon Magician of Black Chaos MAX!”

“What,” Yugi said, taken aback. Now there was a card that neither of them had ever used. Yugi couldn’t even afford that card when Atem was still in his heart. Yugi had been unable to track down a copy of his own. Kaiba gave this version of Atem that card? It was a reminder that this wasn’t real and it hurt more than Yugi expected. It broke the immersion. If Yugi didn’t have that card in his possession, then Atem could not possibly have it in his. That’s how it always worked. “You can’t have that card.”

It was a stupid statement and Atem did not acknowledge it. He didn’t blame him. “I’m setting a card as well. Next I’m activating Magical Dimension to tribute Magician’s Rod and destroy Apple Magician girl,” he said. “And now, Magician of Chaos MAX attacks Dark Magician!”

There wasn’t anything Yugi could do to stop him from destroying Dark Magician. Yugi eyed his life points as they dropped from 7000 to 6700. It’d been some time since Yugi had taken damage in a Duel from his opponent. Exactly four years, actually. “I activate my trap, Dig of Destiny,” he said as his set card flipped over. “When I take battle damage, I can draw a card!”

“As you wish,” Atem said, and Yugi felt another pang as he realized the smile on this version of Atem had never left his face. He knew for a fact Kaiba had never actually seen a smile like the one on Atem’s face. It was relaxed, open, and unburdened. “That ends my turn.”

Yugi examined the two cards added to his hand. Lemon Magician Girl and Mystical Space Typhoon. “It’s been two turns since Gold Sarcophagus was activated, thus Monster Reborn is now added to my hand,” he said, having no intention of using it. He didn’t use it last time and he wouldn’t use it this time either. Instead, he set both Dark Horizon and Metaphortess. “I activate Magical Contract Door. With this card, I add a spell card to your hand which adds a level 7 or higher Dark type monster to my hand.”

He tossed Monster Reborn to Atem’s hand and felt the knife twist in as Atem’s eyes widened at the card in his hand. He knew that this false Atem would activate that card, much like the real Atem had and Kaiba had. He was prepared for that to happen. “Why would you add this card to my hand?”

“Consider it a gift,” Yugi said, refocusing again. “To make up for this. I activate Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying Eternal Soul. And when Eternal Soul is destroyed, so are all your monsters! Now, Chocolate Magician Girl can attack you directly!”

With 4900 life points left, Atem was not in a good position. Yugi almost felt bad. He didn’t want to have to do this again and yet his hand was forced. He had to beat this version of Atem in a Duel. It helped when he reminded himself that this wasn’t real. It was a memory being played back to him. “Well played,” Atem said yet again, a smirk on his face as he drew. “I’m setting a card and activating the card you gave me to special summon Dark Magician Girl. I end my turn.”

Dark Magician Girl? If he had summoned Dark Magician, he could’ve attempted to banish Chocolate Magician Girl. Yugi’s brow furrowed as he realized there must be a deeper strategy to this choice and that it was something he wasn’t prepared for. What it was, Yugi had no idea. He added Green Gadget to his hand. Well, he could certainly try to stop him. “Fine,” he said. “In that case, I summon Green Gadget. And when Green Gadget is normal summoned, I can add Red Gadget to my hand!”

“Exactly what I was waiting for,” Atem announced. “I activate Dark Renewal, sacrificing both Green Gadget and Dark Magician Girl to bring back Magician of Black Chaos MAX!”

Well, that was not what Yugi wanted to see happen. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised but he had expected Atem to have chosen Dark Magician. Once again, he didn’t understand why Atem wouldn’t bring back Dark Magician. It could easily banish Chocolate if he did that. “I end my turn.”

“I activate Rebellion,” Atem announced after he drew. “Chocolate Magician Girl enters my control for the remainder of my turn. And now, she attacks you directly!” Chocolate’s eyes went blank as she shifted towards Atem’s side of the field. Her wand went high over her head before her attack connected to Yugi’s chest. Yugi had expected it to hurt emotionally but he absolutely was not expecting Chocolate’s direct attack to hit that hard. It took everything he had to stand his ground. “Next Magician of Black Chaos MAX attacks you directly too!”

That did it. Yugi could not hold his ground and was knocked back by the force of the attack. “I activate my trap, Dark Horizon,” he grunted out, pushing himself back up off the ground. He had no idea why Kaiba looked at this card game and thought ‘this doesn’t hurt enough’ but he absolutely had enough of it. “With this card, when I take damage, I can special summon a Dark type monster with an attack equal to or less than the damage I took! And I chose Dark Magician!”

He’d been in rougher situations than this. Sure, 2300 lifepoints wasn’t a good place to be but he at least had Dark Magician and Chocolate Magician Girl on the field. “Well then,” Atem said with a grin as Chocolate blinked and seemed almost stunned by what she’d done under Atem’s control. Once again, Yugi hated to give Kaiba any praise during this Duel, but he was impressed by the fact that the emotions Chocolate expressed seemed so genuine as she shifted back to his side of the field. “You brought him back. Good for you, Yugi. Control of Chocolate Magician Girl returns back to you. That ends my turn.”

“You aren’t supposed to call me Yugi,”  Yugi said, unable to help himself. At least no one but this line of code in the form of his long gone boyfriend was here to see him in this moment of weakness. “You… you used to call me partner,” Yugi said as he drew a card, examining the card he had used against Aigami. Dimension Guardian was useful in that duel but it would be even more useful with whatever this AI would throw his way. “We were a team,” he said as he set Dimension Guardian and Red Gadget. “I”m setting a monster and a card. My turn is over.”

“Is that so,” the AI replied, only barely acknowledging the statement. Yugi nodded. “Would you prefer if I kept calling you Yugi or do you wish for me to call you as I did?”

Yugi felt numb. He didn’t know which he preferred. Both options were terrible reminders of what once was. He didn’t know what to choose when both felt like his heart was being ripped wide open. “I don’t know,” Yugi admitted, unable to help but look over the design. It was fairly accurate, Yugi noted, except… this version had just a little bit more definition in his upper arms than Yugi had at the time. It seemed like the shirt the AI wore clung just a little tighter to his chest too. It was maybe a little bit flattering, Yugi decided. “I suppose it depends on how like Atem Kaiba programmed you to be. If you… really are him… you would call me as you used to.”

“Well, then… partner,” the AI said, as if testing the word out. Yugi was right: it was like a knife twisted into his chest. It hurt and yet… he liked hearing Atem’s voice say that word again. It had been so long since he’d heard it. “I’ll start my turn by activating my own Monster Reborn to special summon Dark Magician Girl! And now, she’ll attack Chocolate Magician Girl!”

Yugi knew exactly why he’d do that. Chocolate’s effect was only once per a turn and he couldn’t risk using her effect on Atem’s Dark Magician Girl. He could not bring her attack points up high enough to beat over Magician of Black Chaos MAX. “I discard Kiwi Magician Girl to activate her effect,” he announced. “When Kiwi is discarded, she lends her strength and the strength of all the Magician Girls in my graveyard to any Magician Girls on my side of the field! Chocolate Magician Girl now has 2800 attack and can destroy Dark Magician Girl!”

Atem laughed and Yugi remembered how rare that sound truly was. When would Kaiba have heard it? Was it just an imagining of how it would sound or was the AI responding to his thoughts, the way the Duel Links system was designed to? He honestly couldn’t tell the difference between that laugh and the real Atem’s laugh. “I should have expected you to have a plan to protect your monsters,” Atem said. “In that case, Magician of Black Chaos MAX will destroy your set monster and that will end my turn. Make your move… partner.”

Perhaps he shouldn’t have told the AI how Atem actually addressed him. He hated that it was capable of learning and seemed to respond to the exact thoughts and desires Yugi had long buried. Hated that it became more lifelike over the course of this duel. Yugi wished that it wasn’t so damn similar to the real thing.

“I start my turn by activating the magic card Pot of Greed! This allows me to draw two cards from my deck,” he said, replacing the spell card with Silent Magician LVL 4 and Level Up. Now that was exactly what he needed. “I summon the field Silent Magician LVL 4 and follow that up by activating Level Up! This turns Silent Magician LVL 4 into her LVL 8 form! And now she attacks Magician of Black Chaos MAX!” Atem’s life points went down to 4200 and Yugi knew now that it was basically over. “Are you ready?”

“You can’t win this turn,” Atem countered. “Chocolate Magician Girl doesn’t have enough attack points to end the duel. You have no choice but to attack with her and end your turn.”

Yugi’s mouth twitched, almost in a smile. “Are you sure about that,” he countered, unable to help himself. It was something Atem always got to say and well, it turns out he had a point. It was fun to say. “I activate my trap, Final Gaes! Final Gaes only activates when a level 7 or higher monster is destroyed! It banishes all monsters in both our graveyards and summons the highest level spellcaster in those banished monsters. I summon Magician of Black Chaos MAX! It’s over! Chocolate Magician Girl and Magician of Black Chaos MAX attacks!”

Atem’s eyes closed and Yugi felt his heart twitch. “Congratulations,” he said, simply. “You win.”

Much like the last duel he had with Atem, this victory left a hollow feeling in Yugi’s chest. The reminder that this version of Atem wasn’t real was weighing on his heart as the AI vanished right before him. The real Atem was gone. The program dissolved around Yugi and the way out was revealed to him. And yet… Yugi almost wished he could live in this simulation. He couldn’t, though. Yugi left the room, intent on never looking back.

 The minute Yugi got back into his office, he leaned back in his chair. There was only one person he’d known to have tried to bring back the dead. He’d seen what grief could do to a person. And when it came to Kaibas, he knew that Seto absolutely could do some damage in his grief. He’d seen how Mokuba handled things when Kaiba decided that he needed to venture out into the afterlife to see Atem again. It was why he picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number. “Yugi boy,” came Pegasus’s voice from the phone. “You’re calling earlier than usual.”

“Ah, suppose you’re right,” Yugi said, noting that it was indeed a day earlier than he usually calls Pegasus. “Sorry, I don’t have wine with me. You’re drinking on your own.”

“That’s just rude of you,” Pegasus remarked and Yugi laughed, the unspoken rib in the air. “I suppose there’s a reason for this call, then?”

Yugi thought about  the duel with the hologram version of his long dead boyfriend. The loving recreation of each detail down to the exact way he’d worn his hair was hard to miss. In a way, it was a ‘nice’ reminder that no matter how much time passed, he’d always be the second choice after Atem. Yugi had long accepted that Atem’s shadow hung over him. As much as he’d loved Atem, it had been quite a surprise to realize that everyone else loved Atem too. “ We’ve talked about  how it felt when you lost Cyndia but,” Yugi paused, trying to figure out the best jumping off point for this. “I think… I think Kaiba could benefit from a similar talk. He’s trying to do what you did with her.”

For a moment, Pegasus did not speak. Yugi had assumed it was because Pegasus would tell him that Seto did not like him but instead… “How is Kaiba-boy stealing souls? I thought those shadow powers were lost when Atem passed on.”

“The hologram thing,” Yugi clarified. “He’s made a life-like version of Atem out of a hologram.”

“Oh! Well, you know, you simply must be more specific, Yugi-boy,” Pegasus chided as if they had simply been discussing dinner plans. Yugi never understood how Pegasus could be so casual about this. “Do you know when he made this hologram?”

“No,” Yugi admitted. The construction on the AI was almost seamless and suggested that months of research and coding went into it. Yugi had to assume this meant that it must have been completed before Kaiba left. Even Seto couldn’t have made something as perfect as that hologram was in only a few days. “I think it might’ve been made four years ago but that’s just an estimation based on how the AI works.”

“I see,” Pegasus cooed. “Kaiba-boy had a thing for the Pharaoh, did he?”

Yugi hadn’t thought of it like that but he supposed it must’ve been the case. It would explain some of the weirder interactions that Atem had with Kaiba when Atem was still alive. “I suppose,” Yugi said with a shrug. “Are you going to talk to him or not?”

“I’ll find the time.” Before Pegasus could say another word, Yugi hung up.

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