#It goes without saying that none of the fanart in this post is from me

[rjmhereunderprotest]

Evergreen Evermore

"Sometimes you do get everything you want." Beast Boy says in the opening issue of the "Technis Imperative." A miniseries advertising a fight between the Teen Titans and Justice League, was actually a story reaffirming that the Titans overall are a family. A found family of friends united in the cause of heroism. If there were ever two characters who best emphasized this element of their mythos, it's been Garfield Logan and Raven.

Beast Boy came from a broken family of fellow freaks that even he couldn't find a place in. Raven escaped a destiny thrust on her by an abusive father. And through the Titans they found their true selves, where they belonged among friends and, eventually, found each other.

Beast Boy and Raven are the most popular Teen Titans ship out there. They didn't start out that way, they didn't always love each other, but in the past few decades, that's changed real fast. These two characters found the most unlikely of romances with another, against every sort of odd placed against them. From rival ships to shifting writing teams, but now they're as cemented as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. And as a person who has been with them since the ship truly took off, it's been a journey. And want you to join me on looking back on it. This is how, if you wait long enough, sometimes... you can get everything you ever wanted.

Origins

Beast Boy and Raven met when Raven first formed the New Teen Titans, the seminal George Perez & Marv Wolfman run that kicked off the golden era/standard of the Teen Titans. Raven formed the Teen Titans to defeat her father, the Demon Lord Trigon. Through a harrowing series of events, battling the evil Hive, facing down Deathstroke, recovering from the betrayal of Terra, the Titans eventually triumphed against Raven's father.

It was a tumultuous period for the team, but for Raven and Beast Boy, it was more about personal affirmation and growth within themselves. There's very little to go on concerning romantic entanglements between the two. The most one can glean is Raven's distrust of Terra as possible jealousy, but that's a stretch. Raven was not ready for such a relationship, she fear her own emotions too much to commit to anyone. Garfield mostly tried to pester her to give in to those emotions, but he could come off as an annoying little brother more often than not.

What's important here is establishing what both were going through at the time. For Beast Boy, it was mostly about becoming comfortable in his own skin around others. For a very long time, his class clown routine was hiding a very sensitive kid, one that tried to keep himself guarded with humor. Gar was very prone to emotional reactions more than anyone as a result. It was why Terra's betrayal in "Judas Contract" hurt him so much, he truly did love her and she felt nothing for him, less than nothing, she secretly hated him.

And yet she has a statue in their hall of fame despite being a psychotic murdering monster, go figure.

Raven, however, was very guarded in that she didn't show anything. Garfield wore his heart on his sleeve, Raven kept it locked up tight, fearing what it do to those around her if she let it loose. When Raven was free of her father's influence, becoming Raven the White as I call her, she tried desperately to engage with those emotions for the first time but was clearly confused about how to react to all of them. For a time she believed she was in love with Dick Grayson, Nightwing, but she was confusing her platonic affection for a friend with romance, which she had felt before now. Raven's struggle has always been trying to connect to those emotions, trying to properly understand them for herself as much as she can for others, being an Empath. So at the time, she was not fully formed into her own sense of self, only being able to explore so late in life.

At this stage, as said before, you can only mostly see Raven and Beast Boy as siblings. However they are not devoid of connection to each other. Raven remained close with all the Titans and relied on Garfield as much as anyone, entrusting him in fact with a part of her soul self during another bout of the Evil Influence of her Daddy. However, the Wolfman/Perez era ends with Beast Boy and Raven as merely that, friends and subsequent eras saw Raven either separated from her body entirely or Beast Boy not on the Teen Titans proper anyway.

And not many people gave it a second thought honestly. Raven wasn't looking for love, Beast Boy was hung up on Terra, she was a bit older than him, he was an immature kid. The Goth and Class Clown, that's all they were in the Teen Titans' little Breakfast Club.

What changed?

Everything.

The Spark Ignites

The Teen Titans cartoon of the early 2000s was where the ball really got rolling. With DC Animation on a roll, the decision to create an anime-influenced show aimed at younger kids to compliment their ongoing made-for-older kids fair, Teen Titans catapulted the team and the characters into an entirely new era. And with it came new dynamics between everyone, Beast Boy and Raven included.

Raven became less shut off, embracing the sarcastic goth element of her archetype. Beast Boy became even more of a comic relief character, emphasizing his funny quirks and silly attitude even greater than the comics had. Raven was, of course, the greatest departure, her powers being upgraded and her relationship with the other members of the team being more reserved, closed off and restrained. Episodes around her focused on her coming out of her shell and interacting, getting to know her new friends, and accepting her emotions. Beast Boy's were generally more comedic outings, suiting his voice actor, Greg Cipes, comedic sensibilities. Not to say he didn't get serious episodes, he did, plenty. But the emphasis on both characters was obvious, they were directly opposed opposites more than ever.

And as a result they kept getting paired off, often in those episodes that allowed Beast Boy to act outside his comedic comfort zone. But outside of those, both characters became an eternal straight/funny man duo. And it was some of the best banter on the show.

Beast Boy seemed to make it his mission to make Raven crack a smile, to laugh at one of his jokes, to find him funny. Raven of course resisted, chastising his frankly childish behavior as just that. A silly distraction she couldn't afford. She could be scary at times in her responses to his antics and yet Beast Boy didn't give up, he kept trying to make a connection with her.

And this was where I came in.

Their interactions on the show were so much fun and so flirtatious coded I couldn't help but see them as romantic partners. And I sought out a community of like-minded individuals who felt the same on an online forum. There we shared our thoughts on the series, how the characters were evolving, and how much they seemed to truly care for each other even as they got on each other's nerves. And in time we sorta formed a little family of our own, as communities often do when they share common interests online. And we had a lot to be interested in because, throughout the years, Beast Boy and Raven always seemed like the highlight of any episode, even if wasn't about either of them.

To go over every moment of the series would get old fast and this would just become one of countless "proof of canon" lists. But I do feel there are specific episodes that helped cement Beast Boy and Raven as romantic interests, more so than others. "Nevermore" is one, where Beast Boy and Cyborg enter Raven's mind and discover just how guarded her emotional state is. Her emotions are in fact split into various personalities within her mindscape, compartmentalized to an extreme degree to keep them under control.

Beast Boy has felt routinely ignored and belittled by Raven since the show started and just can't seem to get her, thinking she just likes being mean to him. But that is far from the case. In fact, we learn from Happy Raven (Pictured above) that she actually DOES find Beast Boy funny. In fact, all of Raven's emotions reveal that she does actually value her friends and cares about their opinions of her, as Sad Raven seems to suggest. That she loves being a hero and saving lives, Brave Raven. But she keeps it all locked away for her own protection as well as others. A fight with Anger Raven, who has gone out of control, actually enables Beast Boy to not only reach a point of understanding with Raven but also allow her to realize she doesn't have to do all this self-care alone anymore. It's the first time both Raven and Beast Boy actually reach common ground and can confidently be viewed as friends.

"Spellbound" is a test for Raven in actually utilizing her emotions and exploring them, but realizing people can and will take advantage of her. She allows a mysterious magic user trapped in one of her books, Malchior, to teach her his knowledge. And while Raven grows happier and more accustomed to her emotions, she also starts growing apart from her friends, cutting them off more and more as she envelops herself in this new relationship. Only realizing when it's too late that Malchior is not only a Dark Magic user, but also not the wizard from the story. He's the dragon and Raven just accidentally freed him.

After the battle atop Titans Tower concludes with the miserable lying dragon locked away again, Beast Boy comes to check on Raven. He's actually been the most concerned about how she's been acting lately. And was a lot more concerned about Raven when Malchior escaped, than the others were initially.

Raven is still feeling hurt, but while the source of her change was bad, Beast Boy doesn't want her to shut down again. Yes, Raven is creepy, but that doesn't mean Beast Boy and the Titans want her to remain in her room locked away. Raven isn't as alone in things as she believes she is. And the Titans, Beast Boy in particular, are there for her. Raven exits her room and hugs Beast Boy in response. The moment is ruined by Cyborg's stankball, but Raven actually participates in the game she earlier derided in the episode. It's obviously a big moment for Raven, allowing her a chance to connect with Beast Boy and show affection and gratitude.

Raven returns the favor actually a few episodes later in "Beast Within", where Beast Boy's animal-shifting abilities suddenly become more feral when he is doused with a chemical. It makes him more violent and angry. Eventually, he turns into a werewolf creature of sorts. At first, it's feared he attacks Raven and kidnaps her, but that's not the case. A villain, Adonis, got doused with similar chemicals and became an identical-looking monster. Beast Boy defended Raven when he attacked the tower and her.

While things are cleared up, Beast Boy is clearly shaken about what was inside of him and how it came out. Raven, possibly recognizing that for once Beast Boy has more in common with her than she thought, tries to comfort him.

Reminding Beast Boy that while that thing is inside him, he controls it. More importantly, even as that monster he still protected her. Learning to control when to let it out is what makes Beast Boy a man, not a monster. He almost ruins the moment himself this time with a joke, but there's still a clear connection forged here. Beast Boy and Raven do understand one another better by this point. Moreso than ever.

That connection would be tested by more than just villains but also rivals of the ship itself. Terra's Introduction to the Series was a major roadblock for some. Unlike her comic counterpart, she was more sympathetic and likable and did not hate the Titans. Her apparent "death" being petrified always presented an out that she could return. Season 4 chose Robin to be Raven's anchor throughout the arc as she battled her demons at last in the face of Trigon's return. This was probably more because they used Slade to be Trigon's herald and Robin and him were archenemies more so than any other Titan. But the idea in many people's minds was that Robin and Raven were the theoretical endgame. Their platonic partnership reads as romantic to some.

This happens a lot honestly, people read things into moments and interactions than what is actually there. They see patterns and they recognize personal preferences. And it always leads to ship wars. BBRae vs RobRae was frankly bigger than BBT, although the latter was persistent and often times aligned with the former rival. It stayed that way for most of season 4 and even after. Frankly, it was somewhat annoying to see Robin seemingly taking over a storyline to a degree that should've been Raven's, just because his archenemy was suddenly the minion of the new one. Even weirder still was seeing a bunch of the build-up concerning Robin and Starfire's relationship put on hold for this season. All the while they tried to insist on this connection with Robin that, had largely, gone ignored until now in favor of bonding with Beast Boy.

However, it was obvious enough in hindsight that we probably had nothing to actually concern ourselves with. It was always going to be Robin and Starfire in the end, there was no doubt. They had invested too much in creating that romance subplot to just abandon it. In fact, sadly that was the actual problem for BBRae in the show, strangely enough. Every romantic possibility was secondary to RobStar in the eyes of the creative team. They didn't discourage other ships, but they didn't see the connections to the same degree others had. To them, Beast Boy and Raven were a sibling dynamic, despite the connection being far from platonic in many people's eyes. But no, Robin and Starfire were the primary romantic concern for the showrunners, they were the teen love story on the series and there was no room for a second.

As for Terra, her connection with Beast Boy was cut off entirely at the show's finale, "Things Change." Terra came back and she didn't seem to remember or want to remember her time with the Titans and Beast Boy didn't understand why she wouldn't. He kept trying to convince her to come back, but she was adamant, that wasn't her life anymore. It never would be. Beast Boy had to accept that, as the final lesson any teenager has to learn, growing up and accepting change. However, fans didn't appreciate the lesson, mostly we were just annoyed everything got cut off in a fade to white before the weird monster the Titans were fighting could be defeated.

It was frustrating, to say the least, to have to deal with the fallout of the finale. BBT shippers were resurgent for a few months, trying to fix things so Terra would be forced to return. One guy did not get the message and repeatedly kept writing stories to force things to go back to how he wanted them. He turned Beast Boy into a rip-off of a Paper Mario villain who almost destroyed reality because his Ex didn't want to get back with him. Yeah, strangely enough not many people found the depiction very sympathetic.

We had our laughs with it, but mostly I was just tired of it all. I wanted to focus on Beast Boy and Raven, but with Terra still around in the background, it always gave ammunition to the what-if scenario. That maybe she could come back.

However, the show was over, and that was beyond all of us now. We had to move forward and accept that. Thankfully, we had other content because while the TV Show's writers weren't interested in any other romance subplot but Starfire and Robin... the comics had started to come around.

Meanwhile, In Another Universe...

Geoff John's run on Teen Titans started around the same time the TV Show did and essentially recreated the same cast you saw there with a few introductions to the team from Young Justice, fresh off the appalling Graduation Day special that basically scuttled their book and the previous Teen Titans series. The run has its ups and downs, I'm not here to claim otherwise, but it is still highly regarded and loved. Especially among BBRae shippers, because it opened the door for them to be comics canon. And this is where our story REALLY begins.

John's first story was in fact about the resurrection of Raven into a new body, younger, more powerful, and in line with what was being planned out for the cartoon. The changes to her powerset and age were clearly an attempt at synergy, but the results were self-evident.

Beast Boy is actually among the first of the Titans to see Raven in her new body and as a result snaps her out of being ensnared by Brother Blood's control. She returns to her friends, the Titans, now truly reborn and free of her father's influence once and for all. While she remains guarded, dark, and goth as ever she isn't nearly as cut off from her emotions. And over the coming issues, it becomes pretty apparent she and Beast Boy were becoming much closer.

And then came issue 30 of the run and this page...

This shook every shipper in the fandom. Geoff Johns just made our ship canon, we honestly couldn't believe it. We felt like we were being listened to, specifically catered to. This was also around the time the show was ending, so the prospect that we could still continue... well it suddenly brought new life to things. From a creative staff on a show that didn't care to the comics suddenly confirming things, to say it was wild to be right there in the thick of it when it happened... it was a weird feeling.

We probably got a bit egotistical, thinking we had willed this into being by how popular the ship was on the show. Truth is Johns had already decided on this well in advance. Comic runs are planned out years ahead of publication. Johns has apparently stated he wanted a romance for young and old fans. Said young fans got Cassie Sandsmark, Wonder Girl, and Connor Kent, Superboy. As holdovers from Young Justice, the fans of which had migrated now to Teen Titans, it just made sense. And while Starfire was on the team, Dick Grayson was not, so Raven and Beast Boy became the natural fit. But at this point, a canon connection, a romantic one, had been established between the two.

However, there's further context to this story and it's not all happy. This page was taking place during a storyline that revealed the gates to the Afterlife had just been left open, allowing a lot of dead people to just come back. Raven and Beast Boy, after this kiss, manage to travel to the underworld and close it back up. Raven is somewhat guarded over the whole kiss thing, but it is confirmed they start up a romance. It is unfortunately not long-lived, because this storyline was the precursor to a much bigger event, Infinite Crisis, because Superboy Prime punching reality caused the door to crack open. Infinite Crisis was also written by Geoff Johns, and the events of that story would lead into One Year Later. That was a line-wide promotion where every comic book jumped one year into the future in-universe. And in that one year of time... Beast Boy and Raven broke up.

The reason took a while to be revealed, but essentially, Beast Boy's attempts at leading the Teen Titans put a strain on their relationship and sadly they ended things after a disastrous mission got a lot of Titans killed. Not Beast Boy's fault mind you, DC kills Teen Titans like it's going out of style. They were fighting Black Adam, it was inevitable.

For a good amount of time, Beast Boy and Raven were off the Titans and it was up in the air that their romance would ever continue considering it ended just as suddenly as it started.

Judd Winick took over a new Titans book a few years later, starring mostly the same team from the cartoon with some additions. But Beast Boy and Raven were back on the same team and that held promise for the couple. The opening storyline once again featured another plot by Trigon, or more accurately his spawn, to complete the apocalypse Raven wimped out on. Raven was understandably very disturbed by the prospect her Pops was back and Beast Boy was more than a little concerned. That storyline ended with her evil self once again being purged, but with Raven fearing her innate evilness could arise again. Beast Boy and Raven continued to interact heavily though. At one point, he even held her hair back while she was puking in a toilet. Only someone who really loves you is going to go that far for you, honestly.

Raven, however, seemed reluctant to return Beast Boy's advances, again because she feared what could happen if she allowed her emotions free reign. So it was the TV Show dynamic all over again but with a more overtly romantic tone. It was obvious Raven had unresolved feelings for Beast Boy, but was reluctant to actually give in to them. That was until issue 100 of "Teen Titans" proper though, when Raven finally confronts why she's been avoiding admitting her feelings for Gar.

A touching moment, the culmination of a whole run of comics dealing with Raven's emotional safeguards and Beast Boy trying to break through them. It took forever, but at last, they were back together. Just like we all wanted!

Too bad this was the final issue before Flashpoint happened and then the New 52 showed up! Because Dan Didio really, REALLY wanted to do that reboot and scuttle the whole damn project! So Flash almost destroys the world through time travel only to sorta save it by kinda fixing it, but actually creating a whole new continuity for everything! Thus, Erasing all this progress with Beast Boy and Raven practically overnight. You win some, you lose some. The two kissing in this final issue was basically a consolation prize. Here's your ship, losers, now enjoy our new gritty reboot! It was kind of a gut punch and the prospect of starting all over again did not feel good.

But there's a benefit to starting fresh... less baggage, a better understanding of what worked and what didn't. And while the writers and editorial weren't ready to go all in on them, Beast Boy and Raven wouldn't be kept apart forever. The question was, what would they become in this new world?

Back to Square One?

It took a long time for Beast Boy and Raven to actually find each other again in the New 52, which was frankly not a good time for any of the Titans. Starfire was written to be a sexual goldfish fantasy palling around with Jason Todd and a Trucker Hat-wearing Roy Harper. Rose Wilson had been outright reverted into a villain. The new Teen Titans team had none of the characters we were familiar with save for maybe Robin but he was Tim Drake, not Dick Grayson. And all of the teen heroes were wrapped up in the stupidity that was Harvest, a dumb-as-rocks villain with confusing motives and goals. It was a shit show that no Titans fan was into but was forced to watch.

As you can see, Garfield was now red, to tie him closer with "The Red" the mystic force counter to "The Green.' The latter controls all plant life whereas the former concerns animals, so if Beast Boy is all about animals and "The Red" is all about animals, then Beast Boy is now red. It didn't last because no one really liked it. The New 52 had an aversion to most colors that weren't edgy like black and red, even Nightwing was infected by it. Eventually they got over the phase though.

Raven herself was on Trigon's side in this continuity, because the New 52 seemed to be big on making more heroes into villains than actually doing anything interesting with the characters they owned. She mind-controlled Beast Boy in this encounter, not exactly a good start to things, but eventually, she did her proper heel-face turn and freed Gar of his mind control.

And this is where things get... weird for the ship. Because strangely enough, despite their rocky start, Beast Boy and Raven remained close. In fact, they're practically joined at the hip. In contrast to their original depiction as friends but fairly distant, they're close friends from the start in this continuity. It is clear at this point that the dynamic has shifted, the universe might be rebooted, but Raven and Beast Boy still care deeply for each other. They're not romantic, but they're basically best friends.

In fact, I'd argue that they're even closer as Raven doesn't hide her feelings around Gar like she used to. Their time together, him encouraging her, caring about her, insisting she isn't alone anymore, has fostered a deep bond. Raven even LAUGHS at his jokes now... openly. They go on missions together, back each other up, he even checks in on her mid-battle! It's kinda insane to see them so in sync so early on in their relationship in this continuity... but it's there.

This continues, Raven and Beast Boy are constantly there for one another. No matter how many twists and turns towards the stupid "The New 52" and later "Rebirth" Era take, Beast Boy is there for Raven and Raven is there for Beast Boy. Saving each other's lives, coaching them through really traumatic situations, and just plain hanging out or texting. They're basically a couple already, they're just not making out, even the other characters start to take notice.

There were attempts to give Raven someone else as a boyfriend. During Damian Wayne's stint as leader of the Titans, more accurately Starfire but let's not sweat details, they tried to set her up with Kid Flash, the new one. That did not last at all, it was rejected by fans and ended around the time Heroes in Crisis basically fucked over the Flash Family in general. It was an experiment that simply did not work and felt more like an attempt to give the New Kid Flash legs because he wasn't connecting as well with the fanbase, especially with the pre-New 52 Wally back.

In fact, I barely remembered it until I started writing this little project, that's how little impact it had on me. That was the problem with a lot of "The New 52's" additions to the canon. They were made with good intentions but with no practical ideas on how to actually make them work. I don't even know if anyone is really that big of a fan of the New Wally West. This isn't to deride the character, it's just... Wally with Raven was so nothing. The precedent was Raven, way back in the Wolfman/Perez days, originally made the first Wally West think he was in love with her using her empathic abilities. This was to get him to join the Titans and it was pretty skeevy of her. Why bring that back in? The point is, it just never rang true and was quickly gone and forgotten once that run on the Titans ended.

By Titans Academy, the dynamic between Gar and Raven takes its next most logical step. With both of them becoming instructors at the school for teen heroes, their relationship basically fosters into a more paternal one, and when you're taking care of kids together...

They've stopped time in this story to have a date with each other... yeah at this point they've stopped kidding themselves. Need I remind you this is over several books, various writers, changes in editorial management, narrative directions, and a ton of events just dropping in to disrupt the ever-chaotic status quo of the DC Universe... and yet NOTHING walks this back. No one is trying to separate them as friends and attempts to stick Raven with someone else do not stick for long. The comics repeatedly insist, despite their differences, they are close and remain close no matter how strange things get.

By this point, even before they start actively dating again, they're canon... again!

How? How did this happen? Despite "The New 52" erasing several decades worth of comic book continuity and history, years separated from one another before they even met, they are basically set up as girlfriend and boyfriend in everything but name! Their dynamic might not be entirely the same, but the relationship has survived the reboot and survived every single new writer and editor and line-wide shakeup thrown at them. And the lone attempt to throw a monkey wrench in the potential romance? Promptly forgotten after being utterly rejected by fans.

The simplest explanation is obvious, the people who grew up with the TV Show in their teens are now in charge and that dynamic stuck with them. It made sense to put these two diametrically opposed characters together and see how it works. And arguably, it's probably the healthiest, most positive relationship in the entire reboot era, which has been saturated with DC screwing the pooch on a lot of popular ships since day one. (Even after Lois got back with Clark, they still kept her bitch personality. Let's not even start with how they handled Batman and Catwoman for a while.)

If it was just the comics though it wouldn't mean much but fans finally upgrading to official writers and making their ship fics real. There is more to this and for that, we have to look to a corner of the fandom that is somewhat... maligned.

Dare to be Stupid

Teen Titans Go! is a show fraught with baggage. The fandom of Teen Titans still remains somewhat split on things. It's the old cast from the original show, voicing the same characters and everything. But now they're no longer doing the serious superhero stories. Now every episode is basically one of the filler one-offs that took time off from the big seasonal arcs. Specifically, the goofy ones that Beast Boy took the lead on. Nothing is taken seriously, the characters have been Flanderized to their hyper-comedic personas, and any semblance of a seasonal arc or overarching narrative is gone in favor of episodic adventures full of silly goofball stuff.

For a time, I did not like the show. Frankly, it somewhat strained things with a good friend of mine. He hadn't been a fan of the original show, he preferred the comics. I was confused why he was so into this new clearly more childish show, but he claimed it was because it was indeed funny and because BBRae was actually canon this time.

I was not initially convinced, saying something to the effect that he was being roped in because of his shipping preferences. He took offense to that and frankly, I was wrong to do so. It wasn't fair. Thankfully it didn't ruin our friendship, mostly because I actually changed my opinion on the show when I saw a clip from its April Fool's episode's ending. In it, they all seemed to conclude their various character arcs. Gar and Raven became engaged, Cyborg planned to leave for the Justice League, Robin became Nightwing and was about to kiss Starfire... and then April Fools!

At that moment, I understood... this show does not care what I think of it. It simply does not care if I think it is stupid or juvenile or dumb. It doesn't give a single shit about my nostalgia or my demands upon it. It is perfectly happy with being itself and what itself... is a silly superhero show for children. And they are having fun making it, all of them... and I realized that hating it for being true to itself was... dumb of me. I can't make the show what I want to be because of what I want. It wouldn't be their show if that's how it went down. My problem wasn't with this show existing, it was the lack of serious superhero cartoons to balance it out, but that wasn't its fault. This team was never gonna make that show, they already made that show. In fact, when I got that show I thought I wanted when Young Justice returned, I ended up hating it because it took itself even more seriously than any superhero show should. Hating TTG! for being what it wants to be is like hating the MCU for making superheroes fun and accessible to everyone. And the last thing I want to be is like one of those MCU haters.

This segways nicely into our main question: But why here? What makes this stupid show something where BBRae can happen, but the in the more serious-minded original cartoon it's ignored despite the chemistry? Simple, it's been long enough that both the writers have realized where the REAL romantic intrigue was with the original cast... and TTG! makes it easier to come to fruition.

I don't watch the show, even if I no longer hate it. The series is just not for me. I'm not sure its style of humor, reminiscent of Spongebob and similar episodic kids' series, works with me as well as it might have back when I was a kid. I'm older now, and my humor preferences have changed. That doesn't make it not funny, it's just not something I'm particularly going to find funny. The point is, this style of humor allows Raven to be a lot less closed off. Now that everyone has shifted somewhat in personality to be more exaggerated, they are more in line with Beast Boy who has not really changed. And as a result Raven, who in the original show had a strong connection to Beast Boy, even if it was platonic, is less sheltered and closed-off. She gets involved more, she laughs more, and she does more weird insane things. It's easier for her to not take things seriously. Therefore, it's easier for her to be with Beast Boy because all the walls are already down.

Similar to what eventually happened in the New 52. The closeness, the similarities, the familiarity, the friendship, the work... it had already been finished! Not in the same sense, but in the general essence of that slow development. Strangely enough, because the show no longer took itself so seriously, Raven had even more in common with Beast Boy than ever despite retaining her differences.

Weirdly enough, it was now Robin and Starfire who became more at odds because Robin's insistence on being cool, mature, and badass has made it harder for him to see Starfire's obvious affection for him. At the same time, he's not in a place to return it despite clearly liking her. Beast Boy is not concerned with that and Raven is not nearly as against the idea as she was in the original show. When Trigon is no longer evil incarnate, but just another asshole animated dad that pops in to create a problem of the week, the dangers of Raven's "unchecked emotions" becomes just another gag.

When everything is a joke stakes don't matter and, as I pointed out, this show is actively against creating real stakes. The Titans in this series regularly fight Santa Claus... he's their biggest villain. Not Slade, Not Trigon, Santa! And from what I can gather it's mostly because he won't give them presents because they are on the naughty list for obvious reasons. None of this can be taken seriously! Raven collects Pony Plushes as a nod to Tara Strong playing Twilight Sparkle around the same time. Beast Boy spends an entire episode with Cyborg only saying the word "Waffle." This is not a series that really cares that much about anything other than having a laugh. Raven's biggest hang-up, being the anti-christ, is no longer a major issue because this series DEFIES the concept of taking anything Superhero related as seriously.

So in that context, when everything is already a joke, what's stopping her from being with Beast Boy, the biggest jokester in the group? Especially when she clearly likes having fun and making jokes as much as the rest of the group? The answer: Nothing! She can be open with her feelings and Beast Boy's immaturity isn't as big of a turn-off because she's just as immature and silly. And time and distance have proven their chemistry was more compelling, so the relationship becoming canon is easier to slot in here than anywhere!

So comics readers and kids now have two versions of this relationship that are canon. But during this push in both mediums, the tidal wave was already building... until the dam just broke completely.

Green and Purple Everywhere!

It wasn't very long until it seemed Beast Boy and Raven were everywhere as a couple. And DC wasn't just letting it happen, they actively encouraged it. Popping up in skins in Fortnite as a promotional stunt is one thing, being introduced together, as romantically involved, was essentially a stamp of approval. A statement that these characters were inexplicably linked. And it was not the only thing they were doing, they were recruiting outright shippers and fans of them into the creative process.

DC pushed a YA Graphic Novel with art by Gabriel Picolo, best known for drawing the Titans as real-world teenagers. Especially BB and Raven... together... constantly. DC at this point clearly considers that these two as a couple is a profitable arrangement. That there is simply enough love for it and engagement with it that it only makes sense to go with it and make money off of it. You do not sell a book like this if you don't think there's an audience for it. Marvel has made bank by teasing people about Peter and MJ's epic love story despite not wanting them to be officially together in the comics... for years now!

And to top it all off... they became a meme! A very ridiculous meme where Raven demands Beast Boy turn into animals for hanky panky, but a meme nonetheless. Once you get to that point the ship is firmly ingrained in pop culture.

Even when they aren't together as a couple, they are together as a dynamic. The live-action Titans show maintained the two as very close friends. While the show never went the extra mile, it was obvious that the chemistry was there and the showrunners wanted to maintain it. Keeping them as close friends and connected together in their sub-plots. The first few episodes basically have him bringing her home to his weird family, The Doom Patrol, and having dinner with them. It goes a bit south from there as I understand, but not from anything Gar does. Beast Boy is presented as Raven's anchor throughout the series an important one that keeps her sane and tethered to the people who care and value her. And apparently, that very close friendship even outlasted Dick and Kory being a thing on this show. Which ended abruptly between seasons because it feels like DC told them to do it more than anything.

I can't say why they didn't just make them romantically linked, especially given that they were becoming canon everywhere else. Perhaps the creative team wanted to show a sorely needed platonic boy-girl friendship uncomplicated by romance. Let's be honest, those are in low supply these days. However, the fact remains they kept them close and, from everything I've read and heard, they are adorable together. So even if they aren't romantic on the show they have been part of why it succeeded so much as one of its more stand-out elements among fans.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that projects that didn't make Raven and Beast Boy close friends at the very least failed more or less. The Reboot of Young Justice didn't even have Raven in it and Beast Boy was dating some princess for a while. That show never retained enough interest in fans and was canceled, again. The Teen Titans animated movies in the New 52 Verse that came out on Blu-Ray and DVD? They tried hooking Raven up with Damian Wayne and they only got together when they basically killed off the whole Animated New 52-Verse completely. Now, in the comics, Damian is dating some skeleton-make-up chick who literally stole his heart from his chest. He got better. The point is he's nowhere near to dating Raven in the comics who is depicted as much older than him by now. There is no push for them to be together. The RobinRaven ship has completely sunk to the bottom at this point.

Hell, Terra didn't even get together with Beast Boy in Young Justice's reboot, and they were doing the whole "Judas Contract" thing with her there too! How do you do "Judas Contract" without Beast Boy getting his heart ripped out by the betrayal of Terra? It's insanity!

The point is... no romance for these two sticks unless they're with each other! DC has all but given up on trying to do anything else. The collective voice of fans, inside and outside of the industry, has made it clear who their OTP is. Maybe it started off in the comics as a lark, and maybe the cartoon never was serious about it, but it doesn't matter in either case! At this point the ship is just synonymous with the Titans, maybe more so than even RobStar. DC has seemingly retired that romantic pairing from service despite the clear equally as huge love for it because they want to consolidate Dick's relationships within the Batfamily. Meaning he has to be with Barabara Gordon. Starfire can never be a part of the Batfamily in their eyes, so she can't be with Dick.

But Garfield and Raven? They have no other ties but the Titans, so here is where they remain, forever together, as their saying goes. Why bother trying to do anything else with them when it's very clear that it's the only romance the fans will ever accept? I mean you could try bringing Terra back as NOT completely evil, but why? It's like resurrecting Gwen Stacey to be with Peter again, it's the most boring choice you could make and everyone has moved on to either the Red Head or Sexy Cat Thief. There are a few who like the Blonde Fighter Ace with the power of the Sun at her fingertips, but I digress. Gushing over Carol Danvers is for another post and we're getting off-topic.

The point is, you don't break up Sue and Reed Richards to stick Sue with Namor, and Beast Boy and Raven are in a far healthier relationship than that marriage will ever be. Why ruin a good thing for something that was never meant to last in either the comics or the cartoon? Raven has been with Garfield longer than Terra EVER was, especially in this new continuity which, thanks to some more events, is basically the old continuity kinda sorta not really. There's no practical reason to break them up at this point when they've proven their longevity.

Reflection

I have to admit, I was cynical for a good portion of this stuff. I was barely paying attention to "The New 52" so a lot of the stuff I pointed out in it went unnoticed. Look it was a bad reboot, you can't completely blame me. But looking back on it all, it was clear that more and more people in the industry saw the same thing fans did. It took time for them to figure it out, plus one misstep with a Kid Flash variant that made no sense and was over with that run, but there it is. Plain to see for everyone, the heart and soul of the Titans is the fact they are family, they love each other and that love is best exemplified by Beast Boy and Raven. So much so it's the cornerstone of the upcoming Titans comic... where they've been living together for a good while now!

They're clearly banging... there's no way they aren't. I'm not sure if he's turning into a horse for it, but they're doing it. There's no room for denial here!

The creative team for the series has even stated the run revolves around this romance, and that there are big plans involving it. Excited to explore their dynamic, calling their relationship the core of the Titans as a team and a book.

It's self-evident now, this is the romance that defines this series. This is a ship reaching Evergreen Tier, on the same scale as Gambit and Rogue or Lois and Clark. You can ship Raven and Beast Boy with anyone else all you want, but it doesn't change what DC Comics has decided is the default... and this is it.

None of this is to gloat though, this hasn't been an attempt to declare victory, although it's hard not to. This is the win, but that's not nearly as important as everything else. This is the culmination of a lot of things, both as a fan and personally. It was through Beast Boy and Raven that I forged friendships with people I wouldn't trade for anything, even if they weren't canon. I've come to know so many wonderful amazing people. People who have been there for me in my bad times and laughed with me in the good, who have helped me grow immensely. And it was because of these two that I found them.

So seeing this, all of this, and taking it into account... really looking at it, it's more than the memory of a goth girl and a class clown with superpowers. It's a huge chunk of my life that, isn't just validated but... immensely emotionally impactful. I would not be the person I am today without BBRae, that's true regardless of how canon it is.

It's true what Beast Boy said, sometimes you can get everything you want. But I'm not talking about a ship, I'm talking about a family of friends, who are irreplaceable in your life. And in so many ways, that's what the Titans have always been, a family of true friends, in both the best and worst ways, but there's no denying that the best of that is Beast Boy and Raven. The truest expression of what the Titans mean to me and so many others. I won so much more than a ship, I won people who care. And that's worth more than anything in my eyes.

So thank you, Beast Boy and Raven, thank you for everything. I look forward to your future together. An evergreen horizon evermore. It was a long road, it was bumpy, it was heartbreaking at times, and even more than a little fraught with drama, but it was an amazing ride. And I can't wait to see what's around the corner next.

#beast boy #Raven #bbrae #garfield logan #rachel roth #DC Comics #Teen Titans #Shipping #Retrospective #It goes without saying that none of the fanart in this post is from me

[angelsdevils]

Kagami Taiga x Reader

Title: Alone Fluff

You stood outside of his apartment with a small blush on your cheeks. You still didn’t know what you would say when you come face to face with your boyfriend of two years besides the fact that you missed him. Was it even normal to fly out to another country, just so you could hug him, kiss him and just see him? You guys hardly talked because of the time difference, and it was agonizing. Not seeing the one person who loves you more than you loved yourself was hard. 

As if on cue, your phone started to ring and you saw that it was none other than your boyfriend. Your heart was racing, as you answered the call.

“Hey (Y/N)...”

“H-Hey Taiga… isn’t it… late where you are?” You tried to play it off.

“Yeah, but I need your help. Can you please tell these idiots, yes we are dating and have been for two years?” 

He turned the camera to face his friends, and you gave them a shy smile nodding your head.

“It’s true.”

“She looks uncomfortable… like she is about to cry, Baka-gami are you forcing her!” The female yelled, and you could hear her from outside.

“What? No!” He took the phone and you muted yourself.

“Why are you crying? Wait, someone is knocking… hold on, don’t hang up…” he said and you wiped your tears quickly hanging up anyway.

“She hung up!”

“Ugh, I told her no- (Y/N)?” He opened the door and you looked up at him with a tearful smile.No words escaped your lips as you tackled him into a hug, and he stumbled back into the apartment. Everyone heard the commotion and came running, only to see you with your face buried in his chest sobbing.

“W-What are you doing here? Hey, why are you crying?”

“I-I…” you couldn’t get the words out and he wrapped his arms around you protectively. Kagami was such a caring and protective boyfriend, and the thing he hated the most was seeing you cry,

“I am sorry to just show up unannounced, but I missed you so much. I felt so alone, and instantly regretted not coming with you when you asked me. It’s been so hard, but I didn’t want to upset you in anyway, or make you worry about me. I couldn’t handle it anymore, and needed to see you, be near you again.” 

“(Y/N)...” 

He stroked your hair before cupping your face, making you look up at him. He wiped your tears before kissing your forehead, nose then your lips. 

“You should have told me, I would have met you at the airport, You should have told me how you felt, I would have flown you out sooner… you know I always worry about you, but I wouldn’t have been upset,” he whispered against your lips. 

You blushed slightly and nodded your head and buried your face in his chest again.

“Well, I guess he wouldn’t need to force her if she flew all the way from America to see him.” 

“What kind of guy do you take me for,  coach!?” Kagami yelled and you couldn’t help but giggle softly, missing the way he would get offended.

“An idiot…”

“He is actually so caring, and sweet. The best boyfriend ever,” you mumbled against his chest but everyone heard you. Pride swelled up Kagami’s chest, and he closed the front door after grabbing your suitcase without letting you go. 

Once completely inside he pulled you into his lap as he fell on the couch and you cuddled up against him. You forgot he had company over as you fell asleep against his chest. He placed a gentle kiss on your head and glanced at his teammates who were either jealous or awed by how gentle he was with you.

“I have to admit Baka-gami, you know how to make a girl feel really comfortable. You are so soft with her.”

“Eh, of course I am…” He huffed but ignored them as some snickered and glanced down at you. Everyone went back to watching the movie at hand and Mitobe gave Kagami a cover to cover you up. Kagami nodded and did just that before laying his head on top of yours. 

© [@angelsdevils] all rights reserved. none of my posts or stories should be modified, reposted, etc. I do not own the character or the fanart, but I own the plots of these stories. All fanart goes to their appropriate owners.

#Taiga Kagami #Kagami #KNB #Kuroko's Basketball

[jerzwriter]

I posted 7,995 times in 2022

That's 5,514 more posts than 2021!

2,632 posts created (33%)

5,363 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jamespotterthefirst

@jerzwriter

@liaromancewriter

@potionsprefect

@coffeeheartaddict2

I tagged 6,180 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#tobias carrick - 1,245 posts

#ethan ramsey - 1,237 posts

#tobias x casey - 1,186 posts

#asks answered - 828 posts

#ethan x kaycee - 544 posts

#asks - 517 posts

#open heart - 507 posts

#ethan x casey - 458 posts

#choices fanfic - 295 posts

#ethan ramsey x mc - 286 posts

Longest Tag: 92 characters

#i hope my comments aren't accused of being self-promotion for my family's insane game nights

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I am leaving work for the day. This is assault. A crime. 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 Should be illegal.

126 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#4

Tobias and his Lovely Ladies

I'm super excited to share my first-ever commissioned fanart! Made by the incredibly talented and sweet @/artbyainna on Instagram. I love how Tobias goes from being a lady's man in one way to a lady's man in quite another in my HC for the couple. And I love how much happier he is with the latter. I wrote a short fic to accompany this picture (it's only 865 words, for me, that's amazing!). It can be found below the break. I hope this gives some of you the same serotonin rush it gave me today!

Title: Tobias and his Lovely Ladies

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: Teen

Category: Fluffy Domestic Fluff

Summary: Tobias & Casey share a typical Saturday morning discussing what to get his mother for a birthday gift.

Warnings: None

Words: 865

A/N: I’m still gushing over how happy I am with this photo! I can’t recommend @/artbyainna (IG) enough! 😊

A/N 2: Participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge Day 6, Family / Also participating in this week's @wackydrabbles the prompt can be found below in bold. And because I’m feeling overambitious, this is also inspired by Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”, which was submitted to @moodmusicmonday

THE CHARACTERS OF TOBIAS and CASEY BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

See the full post

126 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#3

This is not meant to be received as an anonymous hate message. My deepest apologies if this hurts your feelings, but since your fellow Open Heart fandom friends won’t be honest with you, I felt I should help you out the way I would want someone to help me.

We see you, Jerz. I promise we know you exist. You’ve got our attention. You are so obnoxiously showy, how can we not? And no one seems to have the heart to tell you this.

Your desperation to be acknowledged and seen by others is worrisome. You post when you wake up; you post when you add a word to your work; you advertise for your series “Delaying the Inevitable” morning, noon, night. Jerz, it’s a bit much. No one walks around, talking about how great they are or how great their accomplishments are the way you do. That might not be your intention, but when you post things, like your most recent post about your Asks and how many requests you have, this is seen as gloating.  I don’t know if you realize this, but when you post things like that, you might as well construct a giant neon sign that says, “Look at me! I am so popular!”

I’ve watched you for a few months now, and I know you and your friends are going to accuse me of jealousy. I’m not, but I understand why you would see me that way. But honestly, not many people would idolize someone who is tactless, brash, and selfish. This is how you come across to a lot of people. You might actually be a wonderful person. I would never know because you seem quite self-absorbed and a braggart. Are you familiar with the term “one-upper?” 

I am going to give credit where credit is due: you have hustled your ass off and went straight for the jugular, making sure everyone knew your presence is valuable, including the more higher-rated writers. You can’t comment or reblog anything without marketing yourself and your own work. You clearly are your number 1 fan, and I think that’s great that you have so much confidence in yourself.

You’re probably thinking “What’s the point of this message?” Seriously congratulations to growing number of readers and your fans; congratulations on having such a high view of yourself; congratulations on networkinging with such confidence and zero Fs.

But this honest thirst to be the center of attention, I promise we see you, Jerz. We know you’re there. And how could we not? We know you are going to have the last word. We know that you are going to comment on any post related to Open Heart, especially if it’s about a thirst trap concerning Ethan or Tobias. You post every time you wake up, or when inspiration strikes, or when a certain food or song or movie reminds you of your couples. 

You don’t have to share everything. This is not meant to be hateful, but I hope you become more aware of your actions so you can become a better person.

And I already know what you are going to say. I will unfollow. I truly enjoyed your stories.

I’ve sat on this.  I wasn’t going to share because I want my blog to be a positive place.  Plus, everyone has people who dislike them, so why give my haters porn? But, in the end, I need to say a few things (“getting the last word” Nonny?) and it’s important for people to know that such small and cowardly people lurk among us.

You admit you don’t know me, yet you sure act as if you do.  I’m not quite sure how that works.

I am passionate.  If I love something, I am enthusiastic to a fault and I give it my all, and I love our fandom.  I love creating content, I love reading others’ works and building them up and, no, Nonny, when commenting or reblogging I don’t “always self-promote”.  Sometimes I will discuss my work if it is relevant, usually with people I consider friends.  I did find one reblog from the past week that some may have misconstrued.  I deleted it and reached out to the author to apologize.  I have not heard back from her, but I hope she understands there was no mal intent. I wouldn’t have batted an eyelash if she had done the same thing to me.

I am pretty self-aware.  I know I can be annoying.  I’m zealous and I overshare.  There are personal reasons for that, but it’s who I am.  Friends who do know me laughed at your assertations.  They know I’m my own worst critic, I’m full of self-doubt, and I deal with crippling anxiety.  They also know that being part of this “supportive” (for the most part) community has helped me.  How kind of you to attempt to thwart that.  What you know about me is nothing and your belief that you do speaks volumes to how highly you think of yourself.  Isn’t that what you’re accusing me of?

Like every writer, I want people to read my work, and I love engaging with readers.  But networking? Convincing “higher-rated writers” to like me? Girl, stop.  This isn’t my job.  I don’t get paid for this.  This is fanfiction.  It’s fun! Dear God, do you take it that seriously? Yes, I’ve become friends with people.  People behind popular and small blogs, people who are readers.  I assure you that building these friendships had nothing to do with networking.  We got to know each other, like and care for each other, and we’ve been there to support each other when we need it most.  It looks like some people find me likable, and I know how to be a friend.  If you struggle with that, I suggest you look for the reason instead of attacking me.

You state you have “watched me for a few months now.”  Yet my behavior is worrisome? It seems my post apologizing for having so many outstanding anons triggered you.  You assumed I was trying to say  “look at me I’m so popular”.  I had to laugh.  First off, popular?  Look at my note count, it’s nothing to be jealous of.  I posted it because the majority of requests sitting in my inbox are anons that I can’t reach out to personally or I would.  My readers REALLY matter to me, and I don’t want anyone to think they’ve been forgotten.  The fact that your mind goes to such a horrible place, about an admitted stranger, is pathetic.  It speaks to who you are, not me. 

Look, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… and that’s OK.  I’m sure you’re not either.  That’s life.  But you send this hate, and to be clear, it is hate, thinking you’re a better person? What have I done to hurt anyone in this fandom? Tell me.  I’ll wait.  I’ve never done anything as vile as you. Do you feel you can sit in judgment of me?  That you have the moral superiority to tell me to be a better person when your actions already show what kind of person you are? The irony!  If anyone needs reflection, it’s you.

I strongly suggest you think twice before doing something like this to anyone else in the future.  I have been through enough in my life to let this roll off my back, but not everyone can.  Some people could be terribly hurt, or harm themselves if they received something like this.  Dear God, examine yourself.

128 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#2

Sir…

160 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

FACTS

286 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I knew I posted a lot. 😂

Only one fic in my top 5, and that is probably because of Ainna! lol Given how small the fandom is, I kind of expected that.

But, goddamn, my seriously twisted anon hate (referred to as the "We Are Legion" hate) was #3. Shit man. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

This is always so much fun to see.

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[fishklok]

would it be annoying if I asked for advice? If so, ignore this ask

But like how do you make time for yourself while applying for law school? How do you have time to constantly make this amazing fanart and fics? Just asking bc I'm a college freshman and I'm losing it like I don't have time to do anything anymore!! Like shit man I just wanna draw mtl fanart and chill but literally college takes up 95% of my time. Good luck with law school btw and I apologize if this like asking TOO much

It's not annoying at all, happy to help :)

It helps that applying to law school hasn't really taken up that much of my time. At least when compared to when I was a full time employee/student. Writing my personal statements/essays did take some time, but not enough to prevent me from doing other shit too. When I actually start law school, I highly doubt I'll be able to post much of anything.

But when I was studying for the LSAT, I did have to carve out large chunks of my free time that I would normally use to write/draw to study instead. And just a few weeks ago, I took an entire day to apply to as many law schools as I could in 8 hours (pro tip: don't do that).

When it comes to taking time for myself, it really came down to recognizing my own mental needs and limits. I used to play a lot of video games, but gaming isn't really something my mind "needs" to decompress. I've been way too busy to touch any of my games, but it's really not a big deal. On the other hand, running is something I need to do. I could be absorbed into a drawing or a piece of writing or even cooking breakfast, but if that voice in my head goes "you need to go run now", I have to do it. When I'm unable to run, my mental health plummets. So that's something I can't remove from the list. And drawing/writing is somewhere between those two extremes. Drawing isn't really something I do to relax, so I can go a day or two without drawing anything. But writing is now part of my bedtime ritual. Even if it's just an extra 200-400 words, the day doesn't feel complete until I write. I can skip a day if I'm truly beaten down, but I try to avoid that.

I hope this all makes sense and sorry if this doesn't truly answer the question. I can try to put some more actionable advice together.

As I said, recognize your own needs and limits. If you're burnt out from school and writing/art will only make you feel worse, don't force it. Taking time for yourself doesn't have to involve production.

Inspiration/motivation comes in waves. I spent most of July and August barely able to finish little doodles and drawing felt like the biggest chore. Now, I'm past that hurdle and I can spend an entire free day drawing without feeling like I'm pushing myself.

I hate myself for giving this advice, but planners. I have ADHD so trust me, I hate the "get a day planner!" advice, but...it has really helped. It was more helpful pre-pandemic when I was physically going to class, but I would make a habit of writing down everything I have coming up so when I get anxious about deadlines, I can read my planner and know exactly how many days I have to do it. I usually used my planner for deadlines, but some people (my dad) will plan out their days by the hour. Right now, I mostly use my personal discord server where I'll jot down notes or things I have to remember. Whichever is helpful to you, but having a concrete thing that says "this is what you have to do and how much time you have to do it" can take a lot off my shoulders personally. Because if you have all these abstract deadlines and obligations clouding your mind it can be very easy to get overwhelmed. But if they're listed out, it's easier to go "okay, so the most pressing thing I have isn't due for a week and I'm already halfway done. I'm going to draw now."

To clarify, none of this day-planning stuff came naturally to me at all lol. It took over a decade of me missing real deadlines and panicking over nonexistent ones for me to finally develop a system. And even then I don't always stick to it as well as I should lol.

Sorry this got rambly and I worry I'm not being that helpful. But I hope at least some of my advice is useful.

[mendely]

Not to be a downer on main but I gotta get things off my chest. This post is going to be long and rambly and clumsily written to the nth degree, so please bear with me just a moment.

For one, I really don't feel like I fit in with the Snape fan crowd. I'm not interested in discussing the book meta (HP series' writing decisions leave me dissatisfied), I'm not a fan of the Snape design in the books, I fuck right off as soon as I get a remote whiff of Snape vs Marauders discourse (seriously, please stop arguing about this. Touch some grass). I don't even find him that sexy either; Alan Rickman radiates charm and charisma, but to me it instead makes Snape appealing in an aesthetic manner. It goes without saying I'm also very much anti-JK Rowling, both politically and artistically. We all know she's a virulent, egotistical bigot. I genuinely don't enjoy what she's done with the character, and personally, Alan Rickman did a lot of heavy lifting to make Snape endearing.

In short my interest in the character lies solely in the actor and the character design from the films. I prefer to draw him differently from most fanart, rounder and softer and heavier to match the actor's physique, rather than being lanky and pointy like a Disney villain as he was depicted in the books. I'm not immune to cool goth uncle Alan Rickman with the tousled hair and swishy robes, so I lifted that entire look for one of my character designs. Plus it gives me the chance to draw something I like without having to invoke the name of the TERF or her bloated wizard franchise. Snape fandom hasn't noticed, but it's not like most of them will enjoy what they'd see anyway, since the character's resemblance to Snape is limited to being Alan Rickman with long hair and black robes and none of the traits that most Snape fandom loves him for.

I really don't know where this rant is going. I guess these are all the reasons why I feel hesitant about posting more Snape content or interacting much with fandom really. He is wildly out of character in most of my doodles of him and at this rate I might as well just stop calling him Snape and start calling him my OC (a step I've already gotten to).

Sorry if this was incoherent

#do I tag this #? #snape fandom #idk man I just tend to feel like I don't fit into fandoms and enjoy things differently from everyone else #and i have so many unpopular opinions about severus snape that i am sure i will get yelled at for #agghhh

[callivich]

Thanks to everyone who tagged me! Sorry this is late! But here we go….

your name: Calli (or Callie, this is not my real name so I don’t mind how it’s spelled!)

your age: mid 30s ⁉️ (already? Still can’t believe that)

your first fandom(s): Buffy and Angel and Firefly

your current fandom(s): Shameless

how did you first get into fandom?: tbh, I can’t really remember. I know I lurked in one of the Buffy forums so maybe they posted fanfic and fanart in there and that’s how I found fanfiction.net and livejournal and all the amazing different archives there were for Buffy/Angel/Firefly.

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces?: I was definitely reading fic from like…age 12 but I lurked, I don’t think it was until I was maybe 18 or so….that I got involved in things on livejournal, which means….maybe 16/17 or so years?! I’ve never really thought about this and wow that’s a long time.

how often do you read fanfic?: depends. if I’m not busy, I like to read something every day. if things are hectic, maybe a couple of times a week.

top three characters from your current fandom(s): Mickey, Ian, Fiona.

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out!: yes! I’ve written 50 fics for shameless (soon to be 51….) And I’ve also written 132 for Star Wars.

have you ever drawn anything for a fandom? if so, drop a link!: Not properly, I did some silly joke drawings on paint which I sent to people. But no. I can’t draw, although I wish I could!

share a personal head canon that you feel very strongly about: Mickey goes to therapy post-finale. Not immediately, but eventually. And it helps him a lot once he gets through the initial hesitancy. I also think he possibly gets diagnosed with depression/anxiety and takes medication for awhile.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you, what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them?: honestly, if I like something, I just tell friends to start at the beginning and that’s how they recommend things to me too. Is that boring? 😅 probably but like, I wouldn’t wanna ruin the surprise of how the Gallavich story goes. So I would say it’s a love story of two complex people in difficult circumstances who go on a dramatic journey which has a happy ending.

and finally, what does fandom meant you?: so so so so much. I’ve been in a few fandoms over the years and I’ve had fun but none of them have ever been as great as the Shameless fandom on tumblr. There is so much joy and love and friendship and kindness and talent in this fandom and getting to be a part of it, is so wonderful. It feels like such a safe and welcoming place. Ultimately, I think people should find comfort and love in fandom and that’s certainly what I have felt in the Gallavich tumblr fandom. Getting to explore all sorts of ideas and opinions, engage in fun and creative activities, share and enjoy work….it’s such a special way to spend free time and I do feel like life would be a little less bright without fandom. I just wanna add that you all make me smile so so so much!

#calli talks

[desultory-novice]

Continuing the fine trend of talking to myself... 2/2

Dess Plays The Ask Game With Myself!

003 Magolor

How I Feel About This Character: 

...I feel Magolor is the most emotionally complex and well developed side-character, heck, I might say character in Kirby.  What's amazing is that the bulk of it all happens in one game. Magolor is such an amazing love-to-hate character and the emotional arc from "Aww, we gotta help this poor squishy cat-looking guy out!" to "Heh. Magolor's silly but he’s fun too and I'll feel sad when he goes..." to "Ohhhhhh, you LYING SUNNOVA...!!" to "...:sniff: Poor little meow meow's gone to be with the angels now... " (Oh wait, never mind, he survived, guys!) is executed with masterful grace.

Also, playing up his obsessive capitalistic tendencies always gets a guilty laugh out of me. I seem to recall that in the Pupupu Train line, he runs a shop that sells "Dream Fountain Spring Water." Like, Magolor, did you bottle up the Fountain of Dreams to sell to people?!? You can’t sell the Fountain of Dreams!!

Any/All The People I Ship Romantically With This Character: 

Marx. Magolor thinks about Marx enough that even when he shouldn't be revealing his nefarious plans to Kirby, even though who knows how long it's been since they last saw each other, Magolor can't stop himself from talking at least a little about Marx. (And casually calling him an idiot behind his back for fighting Kirby, but that just makes it more funny.) If I weren't suffering from Marxolor brainrot 99.9% of the time, I'd ship him with Drawcia though. (Btw, is Magoranza a Super Kirby Clash thing? It hasn’t pinged for me yet.)

My Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship For This Character: 

Honestly, I think Magolor is hilarious when paired with most everyone! Especially people who know his game and don't trust him further than they can throw the rotten egg. I love Magolor, but picking on him for his habitual lying, his paper-thin “good guy” personality, and his weak repentance is the best sport in Kirby-verse. More specifically, his weird Twitter trolling-rivalry with the Sisters is completely amazing though.

My Unpopular Opinion About This Character: 

Again, I don't know about unpopular but I strongly hold the following Magolor beliefs a) He's got horns under his hood, not ears. They curl when under the crown's influence! b) He always desired the crown/conquest of his own volition, he wasn’t manipulated by it, and it wasn't until C.R.O.W.N.E.D. actually kicked in that he stopped being in control of his actions. c) He was born without magic and his magic is entirely due to the Master Crown's influence. (Patiently waiting for the novel to utterly destroy these headcanons of mine! /lh)

...I guess if I have one more unpopular take, it’s that, while everyone jokes about it, and no one who knows will ever let it go, pretty much everyone has gotten over what he did by now. Honestly? I think that applies to everyone who fought for the good guys in Star Allies. So here’s my Ultra Kirby Soul Melter EX Unpopular Take: 

Everyone who participated in Star Allies was forgiven by everyone else! You can’t go up against something with the size and strength of Ende Nil/Void Termina, start to think mayyybe none of you are going to make it out of this fight... then look to the person to your left and say “...Okay, but THAT guy? That guy totally deserves it!” 

If Star Allies got a novelization with the full Dream Friends roster included, you just know there’d be all these little scenes sprinkled throughout where the others learned to trust and rely on each other, regardless of the conflicts in their pasts.

One Thing I Wish Would Happen / Had Happened With This Character In Canon:

...Okay, this is kind of silly because I'm really glad he didn't actually die at the end of RtDL! I hate when my favorite characters bite it at the end! But on the other hand...I am a simp for sad/melancholy "Poor little meow meow is with the angels now..." fanart and ever since the Miiverse post confirming his survival, there's less and less of that and I...kinda miss it...?? (Dess loves angst.)

Favorite Friendship For This Character:

Magolor and Kirby. The other thing the Miiverse post confirmed was that, whether he knew it or not, Magolor WAS lonely and really warmed up to the idea of having a friend. He'd just come too far and wasn't brave enough to admit to himself that something simple would satisfy him more than something grand. So whenever I see a Kirby that tells Magolor he’s his trusted friend and Magolor gets so shooketh by those words he doesn't even know how to handle the feelings it gives him, I get all wibbly. And then Magolor in the Star Allies bonus art SHIELDING KIRBY WITH HIS BODY!?!

My Crossover Ship/FREE SPACE:

...Did I mention I like angst? Because a Crowned!Magolor/Magolor Soul with tears in 1-3 of his eyes now that he finally feels regret for everything he's done and just wishes he could apologize/take it all back, but now he's lost the ability to SAY that aloud will always get me (...and my selective-mutism self...) right in the hurts-so-bad feels.

And since FREE SPACE is becoming “Favorite AMV space,” I also really love the lyrics in Juno Song's "Under My Control/CROWNED with Lyrics."

"...Now hear my plea, stop me, and return to Dream Land, where the breeze of friendship blows across the world and the light of hope brings love to every soul. And if I make it out, I want you to know, I am so very sorry. I only hope you'll find some love in your heart to spare and forgive a fool like me..." 

Ough...

Also, 金寺's ロア is fantastic for sheer style. Makes me want to learn video editing/motion graphics just so I can do that kind of stuff.

#Kirby #Kirby series #Magolor #Dess Answers Questions #Dess Text Post #Poor Little Meow Meow #Ask Post #Ask Game #Long Post

[1ddotdhq]

Sun 31 Jan ‘21 

Happy Walls Dayyy!!!!!! Today was the first anniversary of our #1 fave debut album of 2020, and we all celebrated, Louis included! Last but best thing first: WE GOT A DEMO!! Louis ended the day by publishing a dreamy clip of a demo of the title song ‘Walls’. His clear voice croons over beautiful sliding electric guitars and background reverberance- if that’s his FIRST draft then he is, as we knew, a GENIUS! AND, the King Himself came on twitter to interact with his “loyal” (his words) subjects (that’s us!). He popped up at first to say that his tour, when it comes around, will be “fucking unbelievable...this is our day!”, and talked about his favorite part of the last year (“the two shows I played”), what he noticed most when performing solo the first times (“the space on stage” ughhhh all the tears), what he was looking forward to after COVID (“everything”) and getting through these times- “remember that everything is going to be better when normality sets back in.” He also explained that while he was gonna put out merch today, he “didn’t want to market the day”, but rather make it “a celebration just for us”. But, uh, the merch will be coming eventually! He then replied that there were “too many greedy fuckers out there” who try turn celebratory events into a “cash grab” (to quote the fan), and harries then got mad at that because THEY were like this must be about Harry (lol uhhhh) and assumed he was shading him and Jeff rather than, I don’t know, his OWN FORMER LABEL?? Cool cool cool, but it’s still Harry’s moth on Spotify, so cope. He told us that his proudest moment on the album was recording the strings for the Walls the Single, that he wouldn’t have approached the process differently because he’s still really proud of the album, that he was most looking forward to us hearing KMM or Walls, that Doncaster is his fav place (to no one’s surprise lmao), and, asked what song he likes to rock out to off HIS ALBUM was like oh hey have I got a rec for you: “Maybe Tomorrow” by the Stereophonics. It goes, “think I'll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile, but be free” and “maybe tomorrow I’ll find my way home” (huh is there something happening tomorrow that could be linked to... OH. Right. Huh. Well all that is just a coincidence I’m sure, it’s not like Louis ever said he likes to rec songs because he wants us to read into the lyrics or anything... oh wait.)    

LTHQ did a insta quiz over on their stories (I only got two questions wrong!) and they did the promised virtual listening party and tweeted along to each song and retweeted fans’ reactions (and all the usernames, larries everywhere, we SEE YOU). Friends of Louis joined in the celebration- Only The Poets, Ashton Irwin of 5SoS fame, Helene Hornyck (“all the love,” she said!), Isaac Anderson and more, and All On The Board made one of their lovely Frankenstein poems which mashing up a bunch of LT1 songs, but in keeping with the theme of the day (and COVID I GUESS) did it as fanart rather than the usual in person board. And all of that was the BORING part of the day, can you BELIEVE?? The FUN part was the Walls Fanart that was chosen to be the new Spotify cards on the official Walls album. As in, they are up right now if you want to go check them out, but I’m gonna tell you straight up: they’re half Harry tats! The Defenseless card, especially, as it is just straight up fanart of Harry’s moth tattoo, especially fun when he had JUST got us talking about its Papillion origin with his finsta! The artist had been worried that Louis would be mad at them for submitting ‘Larry art’, and was overjoyed to learn that, uh... apparently, he was NOT. That was not all! The ‘Too Young’ art card is H’s rose tattoo, ‘Habit’ and ‘Fearless’ were both different variations of H’s anatomical heart tat (the ‘Habit’ one even included the word kind :{) ), and the We Made It rainbow wheel did, in fact, make it to Spotify, just like we thought! “Perfect Now” was Louis standing under a rainbow spotlight—they made that one black and white for spotify but the artist shared the original version. Harries were beside themselves, and tagged Jeff (Azoff), Ben Winston, and Gemma Styles (what?), demanding that they make Louis take the art down because it was clearly Harry art, which 1.) how much more blatant can you be if even ANTIS are noticing and 2.) what sort of control do they think Jeff, Ben, and Gemma have over Louis seeing as, uh, none of them currently work for him??? Weird, are they thinking there might be some kind of link... between Harry and his team and Louis... tell me more antis, truly, I’m fascinated!

One would think that’s more than enough for one day but WAIT THERE’S MORE Zayn is in EXCELLENT quirky Zayn form having fun with his own merch—he posted a gremlin (from the old RL Stine movie ‘Gremlins’) in a NIL beanie captioned “one size fits all humanoid shaped heads” late last night, haaaaa. Yes, I agree! The red stitching really makes the gremlin’s red eyes pop, and his fangs have never looked this good! And the question arose, is Harry’s finsta actually just his side account for following nothing but gay meme accounts? Evidence—the discovery of a second follow, of the openlygayanimals account-- would suggest yes! Well that’s valid, imagine having to not only navigate the internet AS HARRY but also without funny memes of your choice, that’s no life to lead. And Niall complained on twitter that people didn’t understand his sense of humor because SARCASM! He also tweeted about golf, which I’m sure was cool for people who understand it.

#louis tomlinson #zayn #harry styles #niall horan #lmao @ all the people who were like LOUIS JUST SHADED HSHQ #like uh NO HE DIDNT YOU DID #lajdflkdajfsd #also COULD LOUIS BE MORE ON LA TIME??? NO HE COULDNT #i love this today was fun and much needed! #to celebrate im gonna rewatch the liveshow tonight! #anyways! #song of the day! #maybe tomorrow by the stereophonics! bc LOUIS

[rose-colored-amy]

So, this is a continuation to my extremely short one-shot Last Moments, Last Regrets, but it can be read as a stand-alone. Regardless, I'll leave the link of that one in here:

Also, thanks to @coeurhh for suggesting I write a second part. You're a sweetheart 🥰

She made a lovely fanart/gif, which I'm also sharing, of course:

Prompt: AU. Sakura's death goes unnoticed to everyone but the squad she protected with her life and Tsunade. Team Kakashi doesn't find out until the very end, when Naruto and Sasuke have already had their fight, and there's nothing to do about it but mourn the absence.

Warning: Mild Sasusaku and lots of angst. Team 7 sort-of-fluff (?)

—Blue Bird, Let Go—

"Hey, bastard... I know they really let us down, the village, I mean."

"Aa... "

"But I really think it's not all that bad. When we were I team, I knew you understood. It felt like having a brother, believe it."

They were watching their lives go by, shadows of unknown faces passing by them, not noticing their pain, or not caring whatsoever. Their backs were touching, but it was all cold and bleak; a bad memory. A clan slaughtered, a demon sealed. Two lonely boys wallowing in their own sadness.

"Well, even if I don't make it, I'm glad it was you, bastard—"

"Shut up, idiot." His voice sounded strained, even for his standards, but Sasuke was so tired he couldn't even bring himself to care.

"We're really dying, ah? Wanna say something? I do have things to say, 'cause there's no way I'm dying—"

"In silence?" Sasuke interrupted, but Naruto payed him no mind.

"Without telling you how much of an asshole you've been! I couldn't even keep my promise to Sakura-chan! She's gonna be so damn mad when she finds out, I'm sure she'll drag me back to life just to cave my face in—" He was rambling at that point, but it was just so comforting and normal to Sasuke that he didn't even acknowledge it anymore.

"Hn. Sakura... She..."

"She still loves you, asshole. I don't have any idea how it can be possible but—"

"I'm sorry..." It sounded rushed, but Naruto heard it perfectly, and in the darkness of their shared consciousness, Sasuke heard a resigned sigh.

"Well, it's not that bad. I cannot imagine dying beside anyone but you, bastard."

"Idiot..." He made a pause. "Me neither."

"You're both a pair of idiots!"

Suddenly, the unreadable mass of unrecognizable faces around them cleared, and one figure stood in front of them, pink eyebrows frowned in annoyance. Though this version of Sakura looked familiar, it was one none of the boys had seen in a long time. Genin, long-haired, Sakura was glaring at them, arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing in here?!"

Her eyes softened. "What, so I'm supposed to let you two die, after everything? No way in hell!"

"Sakura..."

"You!" She pointed at Sasuke, who flinched slightly at her rudeness. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I don't care. Lighten up and start being your moody self. We love you just like that! Don't act so repented and shit! If you're sorry stop looking like a lost puppy and start doing something about it, you asshole!" Her voice was raising with madness and it was slightly off putting to see what used to be a stuttering lovestruck preteen talking to him like that.

Naruto snorted at that, obviously delighted for not being at the receiving end of her wrath for once. It was short-lived, however.

"And you!" She pointed at the blonde; then crossed her arms. He jumped back in fright. "What is this? How dare you even consider dying after you promised to be the best goddamned Hokage in history?! Here I am, rooting for you, while you lay around like a lazy pig with your edgy bro there. You should be ashamed of yourself!" She scoffed.

Naruto's mouth was so wide open he could have caught a fly. "Lazy pig? Are you kidding?!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, half amused, half annoyed. "Edgy?"

Suddenly, the edges of their vision began to blurr, like a genjutsu being unravelled. "Ah, someone came to help you at last." Sakura seemed relieved. Strangely so.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You know what? You're right. I'll be the best damn Hokage ever, believe it! Just you watch!" He threw a punch to the air.

Seemingly placated and pleased with his answer, she nodded. "I know so." Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was concentrating solely on her face, mismatched eyes softened as they'll ever be. "And you'll make sure he doesn't mess up, right?"

They shared a long silence. There was something strange about Sakura aside her appearance. He could tell. "Hn. I will..."

"Hey! I don't need him watching over—"

"Sure you don't." He countered sarcastically.

"Also..." They turned to her again. "I'm sorry."

"Wha—" Naruto stuttered. "What the hell would you be sorry for, Sakura-chan?! If anything, it's the bastard here who should be apologizing to you!"

"Sakura..." Sasuke seemed to be searching for the right words, but she couldn't let them go without them listening to her. To what she needed them to know. There wasn't much time left after all.

"I'm sorry, because I wasn't what you needed..." She closed her eyes, her pretty minty orbs. Her appearance suddenly shifted, before then now standing her true self, still dressed in the standard shinobi uniform of the alliance. Her forehead protector lost to whoever knows where. "And thank you. You both made me stronger. You made me appreciate what I had. And I'll always, always love you. Our moments together like team seven... I'll treasure them for all eternity."

"Sakura-chan..."

"I know Konoha wasn't the best to you both, but don't forget the good... The wholesome moments. It's all that matters in the end... Our bonds, the bonds you managed to forge with sweat and blood... The world we live in, the world that gave me the chance to meet you. To me, that's to be cherished. Forever."

The white light started overwhelming the rest. Even Sakura's features started dissapearing.

"Live. Just live." For that, she specifically stared at Sasuke, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And thank you."

Sasuke started racing towards her, hand stretched, a forebonding understanding shaking his bones. "Sakura!"

And then, they both lost consciousness.

When they woke up, aside from feeling like shit, the first thing that crossed their minds what the finality of Sakura's words. Tsunade was beside them, patching them up, with Kakashi beside her, silently watching over them.

"About time, brats! What were you think—"

"Baa-san." Naruto interrupted her, his voice the most serious she had heard him until then.

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke finished for him, his eyes icy and detached, trying to keep his worry at bay.

But she didn't need to answer. Her chakra flow hesitated, spiking with sorrow. Her eyes glistening with unbearable loss. Kakashi, at her side, stared, eyes widened in comprehension.

She was gone by a long shot.

And they were just finding out.

...

Everybody had different ways of dealing with loss. Naruto helped rebuild the village along with everyone else, but he skipped his usual meals, his ramen left forgotten in his kitchen counter. His movements when sparring were sloppy at best, not just because of the new prosthetic limb, but also because his mind was clearly somewhere else. Usually, Shikamaru would drag him out his makeship house, like he had done when Jiraija was gone for good. Sometimes, he would bring Ino with him, who was suspiciously skinny and messier than normal. No makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes.

Kakashi spent more than usual at the memorial stone every day, tracing the newly marked name of the girl who once remained him of Rin but that had come to claim a place for herself in his heart. Also, he took more missions than it was allowed in a month, going so far as to pick up his ANBU mask again, which caused an altercation with Tsunade, who hadn't been sober in a long time and had been hoping to hand the Hokage seat to him.

Sai avoided the color pink for a long time.

Sasuke... Well, he dealed with loss the same as everyone else... Longing for the missing person to be there, itching to have the opportunity to say what he couldn't at the time. Wanting to be alone whenever they would reach for him... And he built a tomb for her in hopes to find some closure. Not that official, because there wasn't a body to bury, and it had no name, but it was enough for him. He would bring with him camellias every day, buying them at the Yamanaka's, where Ino would always glance at him in silent understanding.

One morning, on his way to her tomb, he spotted a young shinobi leaving a white lilly for her. When he came by, the child spoke without a care, like they were acquaintances. "This is Sakura-san's, right?"

"Hn." It wasn't really an answer, but the child seemed to understand anyway.

"You know? Mama and big sister are also buried in these grounds... I always talk to them and tell them about my day and stuff I want them to know!" He turned to the Uchiha, a smirk on his cherubic face. "I'm sure she would appreciate it as well." And just like that, he left without another word.

Sasuke sat on the ground, just in front of the stone, mismatched eyes half lidded. Sensing no one in the vicinity, he exaled a shaky breath, and his dam opened up, the words longing to be said broke the silence he had been wrapping around himself since he knew of her death:

"I miss you... I've been missing you since I first left."

#naruto #sasusaku #team 7 #naruto uzumaki #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #tsunade senju #post war #fanfiction #sai #ino yamanaka #angst

[soukoku-rivals]

Author's Note

There are so many things I would love to tell you! But, I decided to keep it short and simple. After all, Rivals is a comic, you're not here to read blocks of text.

I will address what are, in my opinion, most important issues.

1. Why is Fyodor actually alive after chapter 9?

Well, we had an 'in comic' explanation - Chuuya wants to believe Fyodor has some feelings for him after Fyodor intentionally missed all of his vital organs when stabbing him. Dazai tries to be a better person so he cannot simply kill someone who is already tied and defenseless, no matter how much he hates him.

Real life explanation - it was the best choice for the continuity. Rivals is very much an AU when it comes to Chuuya's past and quite possibly Dazai's past [I honestly know nothing about Dazai's past before 15. There might be something mentioned in Stormbringer but I avoid spoilers until we get official English translation]. However, it still takes place after season 2 of the anime and the Dead Apple movie. Which means season 3 comes after.

Basically, if you ignore the 15 episodes, you can imagine season 3 continues after Rivals and Dazai and Chuuya are somewhat dating at that point, which is also why Ranpo found it so easy to outsmart Chuuya. And then, all the events in the anime/canon slowly lead to them finding the Book and the Epilogue.

I know, you have to stretch your imagination a little to make that work, but honestly, it's fun to imagine Soukoku dating while all that stuff is going on.

Obviously, none of that could happen if Fyodor dies, so here you go!

2. Does Chuuya actually have feelings for Fyodor?

Short answer - yes. And it's not only because the author ships Fyoya. [I ship almost all Chuuya/X pairings, most notably Chuuya/Sigma, deal with it.]

As explained in the comic, Fyodor was there when Chuuya had nobody and nothing after he lost his memories. He told Chuuya they were partners and lovers, and Chuuya was his most loyal man. Obviously, that would influence Chuuya's opinion.

We, as readers, outside observers, didn't realle get to see much of their interactions [I couldn't make the chapters that long] but we did see that Fyodor is a manipulative bastard. But it wouldn't fully work if he wasn't gentle at times. As manipulative as Fyodor was, he has also shown compassion and care towards Chuuya in his state. That purposefully missed stabbing at the end only confirmed to Chuuya that Fyodor doesn't actually want him dead. Maybe he wants to hurt him to push him away, like Dazai did all those years ago? To protect him. To make sure the Mafia and Dazai know they aren't working together.

How can Chuuya not appreciate that? After all there was only one person before who hurt him not to actually hurt him but for his protection.

So yeah, Chuuya believes Fyodor has some feelings for him, he believes there might be a good person hiding in the rat, just like there was a good person hiding in Dazai. Dazai and Fyodor were too similar at one point for Chuuya not to develop any feelings for him.

I'm not saying it's healthy or logical. I'm saying this is how it happened.

3. Does Fyodor have feelings for Chuuya?

Short answer - also, surprisingly, yes! I mean, how can you not love Chuuya?

I couldn't really show it clearly in the comic. We already had so many characters and Fyodor/Fyoya weren't the focal point so I couldn't dive to deep. However, here is what I can say now.

At the start, obviously, Fyodor saw Chuuya only as a tool. Chuuya was a powerful weapon, with a powerful ability and most importantly, he served as a great distraction for Dazai.

Fyodor, however, made a mistake when he convinced Chuuya they were lovers. Because that meant he had to spend more time with him than originally planned. And as much as Fyodor hates abilities and believes they are a sin, he could not not notice all Chuuya's good qualities. Even rushing that mission to destroy some building, when he knew it was possible Chuuya wouldn't survive, was mostly because Fyodor wanted to push him away. And to push his feelings away. He knew he was growing fond of Chuuya and if he didn't stop that soon, he might grow some conscience.

Unfortunately for him, it was too late. And thus, we go back again to the train station stabbing. For all intents and purposes, the most beneficial thing for Fyodor to do was to kill Chuuya right there and there. With Chuuya dead he would have been able to leave with Atsushi, find the Book and leave Dazai broken after his love's death and Mafia without its most powerful weapon.

Fyodor just couldn't bring himself to do that.

4. Extra - unused sequel idea.

This has nothing to do with any unexplained plot points but, yeah, there was a sequel idea. A few actually. But let's go with the one that has most sense.

At the train station, after Soukoku leave, only Atsushi stays there to keep an eye on Fyodor while Loki searcher through his memories for the Book.

Unbeknownst to Atsushi, while Locke goes through Fyodor's memories, he finds something very interesting. A memory of Fyodor who looks like he's talking to his mirror reflection but his words are directed at Loki. And with a smile on his face, Fyodor informs Loki that the Book can change reality, he can destroy people and give them life. There is already a person created by the Book. From nothing! So, it is not entirely unbelievable to assume that it could bring somebody to life. Like, let's say, a certain red headed girl.

If Loki helps Fyodor escape, he will be able to bring Hela back to life.

Locke loves his daughter very much, so obviously, he agrees. And instead of lead to season 3 when Fyodor escapes, he get an Agency/Mafia vs Fyodor/Locke story.

This is not happening but it was a nice idea.

And this time, this is really it! There is nothing more left for me to say, Rivals is done!

Thank you so much for reading it, some of you were here for years, some joined only a few month ago, some will find this story in the future, but I thank you all the same! I would have never gotten this far without you. You are all very precious to me. I hope to see you soon, when @kkfil-soukoku starts updating.

And now, for a couple of unrelated announcements:

Merch design is going great. I have all die cut stickers and the second charm already finished, and most of them is already published on Kofi for supporters. Also, the Rivals sticker page is all drafted. Support me on Kofi to view them all and to get an extra sticker with your order: https://ko-fi.com/hayatepl

After Kiss Kiss Fall in <Love3 comic is done, I will be working on an original idea, to be published on Webtoons/Tapas. It's going to be a supernatural adventure story featuring a witch, a warrior and a dragon, set in modern times. For more info when that happens, follow me on @hayateart and @sylvankaart

I also started using twitter again: https://twitter.com/SylvankaArt

And instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sylvankaart/ [Yes, it's all SylvankaArt, I thought it would make it easier to remember. As for tumblr HayateArt blog will remain my fanblog for fanart but all original posts will be published on SylvankaArt.]

#bsd #rivals #soukoku #update #chuuya #dazai

[spaceshipkat]

i think so much of writing respectfully and inclusively is being aware of what you’re putting down on the page. what do i mean by this? what better author to focus on than sj///m, right? i’ll start with CCity on this, since it’s the one where it’s most obvious she’s trying so hard to fix her mistakes, but the problem always comes back to her fundamental misunderstanding of why and how her shit is problematic in the first place and what she must do to fix said problematic shit. 

i’m sticking this under a cut bc, surprise surprise, i rambled 😌

take, for instance, Hunt: i think it’s pretty widely-accepted he’s coded as a MOC, (potentially an Asian-coded man) since he’s given “golden-brown skin” and “angular” eyes. sj//m was trying to be more inclusive by writing him in such a way that he shouldn’t be perceived as white, but what she failed to realize is two big things: 1) the fact he’s a slave of centuries who is constantly tortured, mutilated, and manipulated by his oppressors, and 2) the fact he lusts after and is demeaned by Bruce, a white girl. furthermore, Bruce constantly makes comments about how Hunt should fight back, shouldn’t allow himself to remain a slave, and taunts him into either disobeying Micah (the man he’s enslaved to) or killing for her. it’s made clear time and time again that Hunt doesn’t like that he’s an assassin for Micah, and yet there are so many instances of him wanting to kill or hurt someone for Bruce, which not only makes his characterization inconsistent, it plays into the problematic trope of the dark-skinned aggressor (a trope that sj///m seems to be particularly fond of, what with the Illyrians). 

(on the topic of Hunt, a quick side-note: the idea of the “alphahole” that comes up again and again in CCity and that antis have critiqued up the wazoo (though not with the “alphahole” colloquialism until CCity came along, but i don’t think many antis actually use “alphahole” as anything but a joke when talking about her obvious love of the hypermasculine alpha male). sj///m is clearly trying to call out her past mistakes and work to rectify them going forward, but she completely fails bc she only succeeds at 1) mocking her readers, who are often fans of hers bc they like the alpha male douchebag sj///m is infamous for, and 2) making herself sound like an idiot when she calls out “alphahole” behavior while actively writing “alphaholes” and making them (possible) endgame love interests (i say possible bc it’s anyone’s guess if sj///m will actually subvert everyone and their mother’s expectations by making Hunt endgame). Hunt is an “alphahole,” even if he’s not quite as bad as riceman or rowboat and even if sj///m thinks she’s not actually writing an “alphahole”. with his aforementioned behavior toward anyone who’s mean to Bruce (aka wanting to kill them for her), he still falls under the “alphahole” category.

but i digress.)

another example of sj///m writing without being aware of what she’s actually putting on the page is her inclusion of queer rep. sj///m queerbaits quite a lot with Danika, thanks to lines she has involving Bruce and her relationship with Bruce, not to mention how many times others wonder if Bruce and Danika are “just” best friends and not actually lovers. we have Hunt wonder about it, after all, several times iirc. one that stands out the most is when he says that they have to be more than “just” best friends because Bruce doesn’t mourn Danika like someone mourns “just” their best friend, thus implying that Bruce is mourning Danika like a lover and/or spouse (bc obviously people can’t be torn to pieces over losing their best friend in a horrific attack, right?). 

here’s some lines that have romantic connotations bc i am nothing if not a historian who likes citations: 

page 38 of my ebook: 

Danika just said it. “If he grabs his phone to check his messages before his dick’s barely out of you again, please have the self-respect to kick his balls across the room and come home to me.” 

page 45 of my ebook: 

But it was Danika’s added “Love you” as [Bruce] slipped out into the grimy hallway that made her hesitate with her hand on the knob. 

It’d taken Danika a few years to save those words, and she still used them sparingly. Danika had initially hated it when [Bruce] said them to her—even when [Bruce] explained that she’d spent most of her life saying it, just in case it was the last time. In case she wouldn’t get to say goodbye to the people who mattered most. And it had taken one of their more fucked-up adventures[...]to get Danika to utter the words, but at least she now said them. Sometimes. 

page 258 of my ebook (aka the line of Hunt’s i referenced above): 

The silence pressed on [Hunt] enough that he asked, “Were you and Danika lovers?” 

He’d been told two years ago that they weren’t, but friends didn’t mourn each other the way [Bruce] seemed to have so thoroughly shut down every part of herself. The way he had for Shahar. 

[...]

Hunt turned in place as [Bruce] padded around the other end of the kitchen island, flinging open the enormous metal fridge to examine its meager contents. “No,” [Bruce] said, her voice flat and cold. “Danika and I weren’t like that.” 

page 696 of my ebook: 

[Bruce] swallowed, looking at the ground that was not earth, but the very base of Self, of the world. She whispered, “I’m scared.”

Danika grabbed her hand again. “That’s the point of it, [Bruce]. Of life. To live, to love, knowing that it might all vanish tomorrow. It makes everything that much more precious.” She took [Bruce’s] face in her hands and pressed their brows together. 

page 700 of my ebook (and i was torn on including this one, but it’s from Danika, so i think i should): 

Danika had whispered, “I love you,” before fading into nothing, her hand sliding from Bryce’s.

page 703 of my ebook (also torn on this, but it does sound a little queer, so): 

But it wasn’t okay. Not even close. What had happened, what [Bruce had] done and revealed, the Horn in her body, all those people dead, Lehabah dead, and seeing Danika, Danika, Danika—

Her breathless words turned into pants, and then shuddering sobs.

also, not for nothing, but the fact Danika dies without an actual male love interest to make Her Straightness Obvious kinda also implies she’s queer, but *sips tea*

furthermore, there’s the way sj///m writes Fury and Juniper: we see the two women together in one scene, in which Juniper is fetishized and goes to sleep with some random guy. for the rest of the book, they never interact on-page and thus we are never given the chance to see their dynamic, which would provide crucial context clues to what their relationship really is by the time this exchange happens between Fury and Bruce on page 494 of my ebook:

“And yet you can still talk to Juniper?” Bryce’s throat closed up. “I wasn’t worth the risk to you?”

Fury hissed, “Juniper and I have something that is none of your fucking business.” Bryce refrained from gaping. Juniper had never hinted, never suggested—“I could no sooner stop talking to her than I could rip out my own fucking heart, okay?”

“I get it, I get it,” Bryce said. She blew out a long breath. “Love trumps all.”

i’ve talked about this scene to death, but this is written in such a way that it can be read as “just” best friends or as two women in a romantic relationship, depending on the reader. the fact that Bruce “gapes” (which faerug also does to Mor, and which i talk about below) implies that being openly queer isn’t accepted in this world, that it’s not very likely you’ll see two women holding hands as they walk down the sidewalk or kiss at a romantic restaurant. it also implies that Bruce, no matter that she says about “love trumps all,” might not be as accepting as sj///m would like us to believe. maybe sj///m has never had a friend come out to her before, but if i came out to someone and they gaped at me (and i’ve come out to several people several times now, both about my sexuality and my gender, so i have some experience here), i don’t think i would be very happy with them/want to remain their friend. 

on the note of queer rep in sj///m’s work, Mor is another fantastic example of trying to be inclusive through a response to criticism without sj///m being aware of what, exactly, she’s writing. Mor comes out because faerug all but forces her to by not shutting up what a good guy Azriel is and that Mor should just give him a chance. that right there is fucked on so many levels, not just because Mor is a lesbian, but bc she’s supposedly faerug’s friend. no one should ever force their friends to date someone they don’t want to (i’ve had this happen to me! i had to literally snap at my friend to get her to back off bc i wasn’t going to go to the dance with this one guy who ignored my every rejection and bought us tickets to winter formal, just bc he’s a nice guy and i might like him if i gave him a chance), but i don’t think sj///m could figure out how else to write Mor’s coming out scene, largely bc she has no fucking clue how disgusting the scene we’re given is. the problem with Mor being a lesbian is threefold: 1) she’s a woman who was tortured by her father and left to die bc she was no longer a virgin; 2) Azriel spends centuries lusting after a woman who makes it clear time and again that she does not reciprocate his feelings and yet he cannot take the fucking hint, so much so that sj///m has to now dangle Elain in front of him like a piece of meat to get him to let go of Mor; and 3) sj///m was obviously setting up Mor and Azriel to be an endgame couple in ac0maf, as evidenced both in canon and in her pinterest board: 

even stans picked up on it, what with their vocal outrage over how Mor “led Azriel on” for centuries instead of just outing herself to a man she obviously does not feel safe around, and posts like these: 

and fanart like this: 

the tl;dr of this ramble is this: if you want to write inclusively and respectfully, you have to be 100% aware of everything you’re putting on the page. when people ask for advice on this kind of thing, my first comment is to always say they’re already on the right track bc they’re already thinking of this, rather than being unaware of problems bc a state of unawareness is where the problems begin to appear. Hafsah Faizal has talked about this before on her twitter (i wish i could find the tweet, but this is from eons ago), but if you write a character of color when you yourself are white, you have to be wholly conscious of how your white character talks to this character of color. if the character of color is constantly yelled at or ordered around or ignored by the white character, that’s a big problem. if you write a queer character when you yourself are straight, you have to be conscious of how your queer character comes out, is perceived by the reader, and is treated by the straight character. if the queer character comes out by comparing their bisexuality to forced prostitution, as is the case with Aedion and Lysandra in t0g, that’s a big problem. 

the moment you share your work for public consumption, it no longer matters what your intentions are (something sj///m has a lot of trouble understanding, hence why she over-explains everything in her interviews and on tours, not to mention why she force-feeds us her opinion of her characters in canon so we’re forced to share the exact same outlook on them) bc all that matters is what you’ve put down on the page. your words, at that point, have no choice but to speak for themselves, and if they do any of the above, your work is going to come under warranted critique, and unless you learn from that critique and do more than half-assed jobs to write more inclusively and respectfully, you’ll run into the exact same problems that sj///m has with CCity. 

#anti sjm #anti ccity #anti acotar #anti tog #long post #stans being stans #writing advice #writing tips #sorta

[kuinliekkienroihu]

I (crysuzumushi, haha) am working on answering your ask game prompts, you picked two of my very favorites, thank you! I'm gonna ask you to do Kaname too! And Byakuya.

Okay, thanks for the ask!! Sorry it took so long to answer, i wrote a novel. Also sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Kaname:

1. Favorite thing about them

How he always seeks to act according to his sense of justice. Also he's one of the best written characters in the entire series. He's very complex, which makes him feel kinda like an actual person with understandable actions caused by his past. There are a lot more things, but i'm not good at putting things to words so yeah.

2. Least favorite thing about them

How underutilized he was as a character. I'm really glad there's more of him in cfyow, even though i've only read the first part

3. Favorite line

" I follow the path least soaked in blood. The path I walk is justice."

4. BrOTP

I have many, mostly Shuhei, Aizen, Gin and Sajin

5. OTP

-

6. NOTP

hmm, i don't like him and Aizen romantically at all, same goes for Sajin

7. Random headcanon

He has a plant garden in Las Noches in which he grows, among many other things, the ingredients for Aizen's tea, which is Kaname's secret special mix of herbs. Aizen really misses the tea Kaname made for him.

8. Unpopular opinion

He did nothing wrong, or rather, all he did was (more or less) justified

9. Song i associate with them

-

10. Favorite picture of them

This is my favorite too

Byakuya:

1. Favorite thing about them

Yes. I love every single thing about him. Even the things others would consider as flaws are perfect. I really like how calm and collected he is regardless of the situation, he's intelligent and calculating.

A very well written character with, in my opinion, the best character development. Especially his relationship with Rukia from ignoring her out of pain (since she looks almost identical to Hisana), protecting her to keep a promise, letting her be executed to keep another promise to genuinely caring about her and saving her life in many occasions, clearly regretting what he did to her and trying to compensate for his actions.

Kubo wrote his development extremely well, in the end of the series he's objectively a better person than in the beginning, but his personality didn't change much. He's still the same overly serious, stuck up asshole we know and I love him for it.

Another thing I love the most about him is the fact that he's another walking contradiction. But somehow, these contradictions make a paradox or a perfect harmony without cancelling each other. Kubo did an amazing job making him have many layers in his character. There's this line from a book (had to look it up, the book is called "the chrysanthemum and the sword") that the author used to describe Japanese people, I think I read that in someone's ig story and it got stuck in my head since it reminded me of Byakuya so much, and in my honest opinion, describes him rather thoroughly, especially second, third and fourth ones. His zanpakuto, which is one of the infinite reasons I love him, being fully portrayed by the second one "both militaristic and aesthetic" being combined into the beautiful but deadly weapon Senbonzakura is.

"both aggressive and unaggressive, both militaristic and aesthetic, both insolent and polite, rigid and adaptable, submissive and resentful of being pushed around, loyal and treacherous, brave and timid, conservative and hospitable to new ways"

When you think about it, he has the most fitting zanpakuto for his personality compared to the other shinigami and the way he uses it is one of the tiny details which make him, him.

His spot as a captain and the head of the Kuchiki clan is in my opinion fully earned (rest of the nobles (except Yoruichi) can go fuck themselves) (sorry Tara, ignore this please lol). He is hardworking and precise, almost workaholic, has trained hard from a very young age and puts duty above everything. But he still has a hidden "work mode: off" -side which we see occasionally as cracking a dry joke or the wakame taishi fuckery in general. Latter being, in my honest thoughts, hilarious and adorable.

There is a lot more but i literally can't list everything. This is already a hell of an essay.

2. Least favorite thing about them.

My answer is probably as you can expect: none.

There is one thing i don't really like, but it's about the writing.

!!TYBW SPOILERS!!

In the beginning of the arc i think that immediately releasing bankai, especially when he knew it was gonna be sealed, was out of character and i would have been very upset if he stayed dead, since the action which resulted in that was not something he would do.

3. Favorite line

“If it’s for the sake of my pride there’s nothing I won’t destroy.”

I know it’s from a filler but this line just sums his whole character, personality and motivations up so well.

4. BrOTP

I have so many, i want him to have friends lol. But to point out the most significant ones i'd say Rukia, Renji, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Ichigo

5. OTP

The only one i really ship him with is Nanao. Hisana is kind of “it’s canon and i’m fine with it.” I haven’t seen enough of her to form an opinion about the ship, but it’s obvious how much Bya loved her and it’s so sweet.

6. NOTP

Okay, i have never mentioned this before since i know many of my followers/mutuals ship them. Renji. The only ship I. Can't. Stand.

Like, platonically? Yes, they're bros. But romantically or especially sexually? No. Fuck no.

I don't care if you ship them, good for you, but please tag the stuff so it gets filtered.

7. Random headcanon

He sleeptalks a lot. And it's not mumbling, he talks the same way as when he's awake but it's absolute nonsense.

Byakuya, asleep: Do not eat the drawer.

Hisana, awake: *watches him in utter confusion*

Byakuya, still asleep: Give him a pink tricycle.

Hisana: To whom?

Byakuya: Head captain Yamamoto

Hisana: *trying not to laugh*

Another hc that i have is that he is a closet metalhead and likes especially power- and symphonic metal (this might sound very weird if you know nothing about this kind of music lol)

8. Unpopular opinion

His actions in the soul society arc were understandable. He was put between the bark and the tree (i hope you get what i mean) and had to choose from just letting things happen and going against central 46 and all of soul society (or at least that’s what he thought). Also the line he said to Ukitake, which is still easily in top5 most asshole things he has said/done, in my opinion shows what he thought of Rukia’s execution and why he didn’t do anything to prevent it. “Once you’ve let one of your people die.. ...two or three more make no difference.” Both of his parents are dead, Hisana is dead, Ginrei is most likely dead and he thought for 100 years that Yoruichi was dead too. I think Byakuya thought losing one more person he cares about couldn’t hurt more than it already has and therefore didn’t think it was worth breaking the promise he made in his parents’ grave and trying to save her. And that fucking breaks my heart.

9. Song I associate with them

I have a 6h long playlist which I’m not gonna post. Can’t choose just one lol.

10. Favorite picture of them

*digs through nearly infinite pinterest board, tumblr and phone’s gallery*

This is (one of) my favorite manga panel(s) of him. I love how calm but powerful he looks. The lines representing the heavy spiritual pressure. Like an inescapable doom approaching (which indeed was the case). And for some reason i love it. 

My favorite fanart, which i obviously can’t post since you can’t post others art so here’s the link: https://www.deviantart.com/keelerleah/art/Bleach-Byakuya-Looking-Back-127254804

and then one which I think is official art or at least an edit of it, if I’m wrong please lmk

#long post #sorry this took 2 and half eternities to complete #bleach #kaname tosen #byakuya kuchiki #ask game

[princessofmerchants]

Thoughts on A Court of Frost and Starlight, Chapter 21: Cassian — Post-War Nessian

(I’m recording my thoughts on each chapter of ACOFAS ahead of ACOSF. This is my third time reading ACOFAS. The rest can be found here.)

Author’s Note: I have not read any of ACOSF as of this posting, so please keep comments, reblogs, and replies 🛑 spoiler free 🛑 (including references and reactions to what is in the first 3-6 chapters of the book).

I could write so much about this Nessian encounter along the Sidra after the Solstice party and then the snippet of Nesta's POV we get at the end, but I tried my best to reign myself in so I have a shot at finishing this commentary project before the ACOSF release. It’s still another long one though...

This chapter really begins in the last paragraph of the chapter before, when we are still in Feyre’s POV and, after Feyre paid off Nesta for her company at their Solstice gathering, Cassian, who we learn a moment later overheard the whole exchange, finally decides to act in relation to Nesta that evening, and moves his High Lady out of his way and storms out after her.

Chapter 21, though, is in Cassian’s POV, and it is one of the hardest chapters to read in this book, second for me only to the chapter that came before it. 

An interesting thing I noticed on this reread, though, is that although this is a really painful scene between them, in which they both hurt each other, on the surface it starts out not too dramatic. Cassian follows Nesta, and offers to walk her home.

For a variety of reasons, some related to pride, some related to self-worth, and probably others I can’t think of, Nesta refuses his offer, but in Cassian fashion, he refuses her refusal and walks with her anyway. Their exchanged words almost (almost) read like banter, until they don’t, but I was surprised that things were not yet too, too toxic between them, not as much as I thought they would be at this point.

There is one line Cassian thinks about Nesta right after he reaches her at the gate and takes a look at her in the moonlight (even distanced as she is from him emotionally), and it just moves me so much: “Beautiful. Even with the weight of loss, she was as beautiful standing in the snow as she’d been the first time he’d laid eyes on her in her father’s house.” 

That he sees her beauty even in and through the losses she is bearing across her very body (because trauma manifests in the body), is just one of those moments, and indicators for me, that he is designed to suit her perfectly.

Cassian is drawn to the things about Nesta that turn off just about everyone else, and he is drawn to her (and will love her, in ACOSF, I am assuming), not in spite of those things but because of those things. I love them (Nessian), separate and together, I just love them.

The next really important thing is when Cassian notes in his inner thoughts that their silence around each other goes both ways, that although she hasn’t said anything to him since the war, he also hasn’t said anything to her.

And furthermore, similar to a thought Rhys had in a previous chapter, Cassian acknowledges that after his first battle it took years to recover from it enough to socialize in a healthy manner. It has been mere months since Nesta experienced her first battle, one in which there were casualties she may feel culpable for, one in which she saw her father killed brutally before her eyes, and one in which she violently killed someone for the first time in her life. So, Cassian understands this, which is a relief when looking ahead to ACOSF...

...and which makes his hurtful, cruel comment later in the scene so bizarre and heartbreaking. But I’ll get to that a bit later.

Next we have his Solstice gift that he is holding and hoping to give to her, and which she ultimately refuses to take, and so he throws it into the Sidra (#whatsinthebox???).

At this point, Cassian thinks back to when Feyre gives Nesta money as Nesta departs from the Solstice party. This is such an important moment, because when Cassian thinks back to Feyre saying the words “As promised,” Cassian wishes his High Lady (not Feyre, but “his High Lady”) hadn’t done that. 

Cassian understands that moment the same way I do, and the same way I believe Nesta does: that Feyre was signaling that Nesta’s time and company could be bought, and that Nesta’s presence that evening was a mere transaction and nothing more. It hurt Cass, I think because it hurt Nesta. I also think Cassian can see how broken things are between the sisters and I do believe he cares a lot for Feyre as his friend and as his brother’s mate, so the entire dynamic is painful for him, and he wishes he could help fix it.

The only problem is, he gets it in his head to try to fix it by challenging Nesta to “try a little harder.” This comes after Nesta pushes him away with words that Cassian believes were intended to hurt him, and so he proceeds to intend to hurt her back, and it just spirals from there.

He tells her that he doesn’t understand why her sisters love her, and while he may justify that as an attempt to get her to respond with fire (figuratively, at this point) and that he doesn’t actually believe the words he says to be true, all it accomplishes is the same damned thing that Feyre offering Nesta money at the end of the Solstice party did: It’s confirmation for Nesta that there is no one here, in this new Fae life she is living, who wants her presence or thinks her worthy of a kind thought. Even the Illyrian General who told her he wanted more time with her, and when he got that time, did nothing of consequence with it. 

Is Nesta’s belief that there is no one who wants her in their lives actually true in reality? No, I don’t think so. But everyone’s actions (or lack thereof) and words (or lack thereof) signal this to Nesta. And it is very painful to witness. 

This chapter then does something none of the others do: Toward the end, the POV changes mid-chapter to Nesta, when she arrives home after the confrontation with Cassian along the Sidra. This small snippet of Nesta POV is so important.

I observe Nesta acknowledging their mating bond without naming it (she can sense that he followed and is now on a nearby rooftop waiting to confirm she got inside all right). I also observe the four locks on her door are a deep psychological response to the traumas she experienced during the war and prior to it. I observe she has deep, grave depression, in which she loses stretches of time to it. And I observe that she may be dissociating, where her emotions are so tamped down and cordoned off that she only feels silence inside, which means shame is something she understands in theory she should be feeling but doesn’t have the experience of it.

This snippet of her POV is so moving and well written. I even did a humble little bit of fanart of this moment in the story, it moves me so much (and makes me feel seen). 

There is so much more in this chapter, but I am going to reign in my commentary and just encourage everyone to go reread it (along with all of the Cassian POV chapters in ACOFAS, as well as "Wings and Embers") before ACOSF next week, if you haven’t yet. They really set the stage for what we can expect as far as where Nessian start out at the beginning of ACOSF. 

#acofas #a court of frost and starlight #chapter by chapter commentary #acosf #a court of silver flames #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta x cassian #nessian #feyre archeron #wings and embers #mating bond #these two are made for each other #my bbs are so sad #depression #getting personal

[andrea-lyn]

I posted 1,338 times in 2021

318 posts created (24%)

1020 posts reblogged (76%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.2 posts.

I added 870 tags in 2021

#ted lasso - 162 posts

#the old guard - 146 posts

#fanart - 126 posts

#ted lasso spoilers - 116 posts

#joe x nicky - 62 posts

#trc - 62 posts

#roswell new mexico - 61 posts

#pynch - 51 posts

#malex - 45 posts

#fic meme - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#okay but really i am so glad that i am basically just being a listening post and an accountability person because their fics are fantastic

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

it took him a while, but michael guerin finally found his forever home, huh

76 notes • Posted 2021-09-28 02:50:50 GMT

#4

Okay, let’s do morning thoughts on Nate, specifically after this last episode:

First and foremost, I don’t think the narrative is asking us to root for him. If anything, they are bringing up the fact that he is not to be rooted for by giving us a sympathetic ‘done nothing wrong’ character in Will to show that this is bad, this is not what we want.

That said, I love that Ted Lasso and its writers lets its characters have shades of gray so much. I think what this episode tells me is that Nate is desperate for extrinsic approval because he’s too insecure to have his own self-motivation/self-confidence. Again, this is not to excuse him, but we see the blocks of not getting approval (father), getting insufficient approval (mother not getting it right), or one voice being critical in a sea of approval on Twitter (not being 100% approved of). He is constantly seeking it from external sources and when it’s not there, he needs to feel powerful or “better”.

And I’ve seen other comments about how he goes after “weaker” people or those lower on the totem pole (Colin, Will), and I think that’s very apt. He knows that he’s not going to get pushback. Even with Colin, think about last season. When he roasted Colin and the other players, he got approval. The team LOVED it, they lauded him for it. They laughed and he was laughing and everything was fine. So now he does it again, except he’s in a position of power now and hasn’t adjusted and it’s okay that he’s learning. It is okay that he is fucking up. It won’t be okay if he keeps going without consequence, but even Beard has started to notice. Given that the apology definitely left Colin little option but to accept it (as others have said, public, only prompted when ‘caught’), and that Ted has actively asked if he needs to get involved, I really do not think we’ve seen the last of it.

And I do think Nate is going to end up in that therapy chair and he’s going to learn that you can be hurt, but as Rebecca learned last season, hurting others to make yourself feel better is a nasty thorny path to go down. 

But right now? Believe. Because I love the narrative and the nuance and just like the episode said: The truth’ll set you free, but first it’ll piss you off, and right now, we get to be angry, but I do think they’ll set up the path out of the dark forest.

96 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 12:43:12 GMT

#3

I can’t wait for Michael and Alex to be making out at/near his bedside when Kyle wakes up from his coma, so we can get a ‘uhhhhh how long have I been out’

101 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 02:00:39 GMT

#2

look at me, I am old, but I’m happy

(for @christchex because I truly believe her to be #1 Sanders supporter)

The damn kids are keeping something from him. None of them are good liars at the best of times, but every time Sanders shows up when Michael’s friends are around, suddenly they go real quiet. At first, he writes it off as stupid youthful hormone shit. It’s probably something to do with that Manes boy that Michael doesn’t want to talk about. Only, then Alex Manes starts coming around, Michael’s a lot happier, and the weird behavior keeps going. Something’s up, and it’s something Michael’s actively not telling him. “You know, I ought to fire you,” Sanders says one Sunday, when he and Michael are working on the sunflower fields. Michael scoffs, glancing up from the seeding mechanism he’s been working to fix, but he avoids meeting Sanders’ eyes. He’s known this boy since he tripped out of a pod and he knows when he’s about to be lied to. “I’d like to see you try,” he mutters, but his curiosity is sparked. “Why are you bothering to do that when most of my time is volunteered?” “Because you and your friends are keeping something from me.” “We’re not,” Michael lies. “You’re a terrible liar, boy,” Sanders warns, but he lets him get away with it. Just this once, he lets him. Michael waves him off and grabs his bundle of sunflowers to take back to the Airstream. He doesn’t say what or who they’re for, but Sanders knows. It’s the Manes boy, who’s been lurking around and grinning like an idiot all the time. With Michael gone, Sanders is left to consider what it is that’s being whispered about behind his back. There’s enough alien secrets in this town to fill a gossip rag, but Michael’s been fairly honest with him recently, even if he’s been trying to hide how gone he is over his thing with Alex Manes. The truth is this -- he’s an old man. The boy he used to be is a memory and a distant one at that. He’s taken Walt and locked him away behind mountains of bottles and liquor. There’s so much trauma related to those days that he actively works as hard as he can to forget it, and that’s why it takes him so long to realize that maybe he actually knows a bit more than he realizes when it comes to one of those alien secrets.

The secret they’re keeping comes to roost soon after. Well, roost ain’t exactly the word. “They still allow relics like you in this place?”

When Sanders had still been a child and had been happy with Miss Nora and Miss Louise, he’d always recalled their tension around the man they called Jones. They tried to keep it a secret from him then, too, and it’s irritating as hell that history’s repeating it-damn-self. “Relics like me belong more than you do around here,” Sanders scoffs, tossing the wrench into the toolbox. “I’m looking for Michael.” Sanders turns to take in the look of him. He blames his age on the fact that Max Evans never made him feel that icy chill down his spine to spark recognition. All those years with that face in front of him and he never remembered Jones, not until the alien himself busted out and started scaring Sanders all over like he’s a kid. He’s not a kid, though. He’s an old man tired of this bullshit and he’s not about to let an asshole push him around. “Michael,” Sanders says sharply, “ain’t none of your business.” “He’s none of yours either,” Jones says calmly. “Besides, you’re right. It’s not business. It’s family.” It comes back in fits and starts. Miss Nora’s discomfort with Jones’ hand on her shoulder, but the possessive way Jones held onto her. The way Jones had always seemed more occupied with one of the pods. The possessive and keen look in his eye when he’d looked at Walt dismissively, like a human child that Nora took a liking to could never pass muster. There’s only one explanation that Sanders sees, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s crap. “You’re not that boy’s father,” Sanders scoffs. “Or, you might be by blood or whatever alien junk flows through those veins of yours. That boy needed a father growing up and I sure as hell didn’t do the job well enough, but at least I’ve been here. At least I’ve been trying. That’s a hell of a lot more than you can say.” He’s an old and very stupid man, seeing as he knows how much Jones can hurt him. That raised alien hand glowing furiously red is a bad sign, but Sanders decides that if this is how he’s going out, defending Michael is the way he wants to go. “I might have been late getting my act cleaned up, but I still gave him everything I could. I’d die for that boy,” Sanders vows. “For my kid.” Jones scoffs, amused by Sanders’ loyalty like it’s a joke, but then, he always has been an ass, hasn’t he? “Funny you should say that, because today’s your lucky day for getting what you want.” He approaches swiftly, but before he can seal that glowing hand on Sanders’ chest, he just … stops. Sanders refuses to blink. He’s going to stare down his death as long as Jones wants to kill him, which is why he doesn’t notice that he’s being held in place by someone else’s alien powers. “Try,” Michael Guerin snaps at Jones, where he’s holding a bundle of sunflowers in one hand, and holding Jones in place with the other. “You’re not gonna like what happens to you.” Sanders is pretty sure Michael’s bluffing and that when it comes to these two, Michael’s not the one with the upper hand. Still, Jones is playing some kind of long game, because he steps back and lifts both hands up, stepping back and away. “Just two old friends catching up,” he insists, a look in his eyes that says he’s coming back to find Sanders when Michael’s not around. Still, he goes. He goes and he doesn’t look back, leaving Sanders to exhale, slumping over the pick-up truck he’s been working on. “What the hell were you thinking?” Michael demands. “Taunting him like that? He’s an evil dictator! He’s…” “Yeah, yeah, I got the gist decades ago,” Sanders cuts him off. “All I know is what he’s not, and that’s any kind of father to you. Because I might not be the world’s best Dad, but when it comes to it these days, he doesn’t get to swan in and make you feel like you owe him anything. He doesn’t get to make you feel like you belong to him.” This is all getting too damn emotional for him, but he wants to make one thing clear. “I know I didn’t manage the way I should’ve, but if anyone’s a father to you these days, it’s me.” With that said, he gives a firm nod, and hopes that he’s not going to do anything

embarrassing like start crying about it. Well, he might not, but Michael’s struggling to keep it together, by the looks of it, so maybe that’s exactly what it is he needs to hear. “What the hell are you doing back here anyway?” Sanders grunts, when the awkward silence drags on too long. Michael clears his throat, gesturing to the Airstream with the flowers (and conveniently wiping at his nose). “I forgot some papers that I wanted to go over with Alex,” he says, “Lucky I did, or you would’ve been alien dust.” “I got a few tricks up my old sleeves,” Sanders promises, even if he doesn’t have them yet. “So. You and Alex Manes, huh? You ready to admit to me that it’s a thing yet?” Michael wrinkles his nose, but he’s clearly not thinking about Jones anymore, so Sanders considers it a mission accomplished. “How about you start worrying about how much of a thing it is when Alex needs to come get permission from my Dad to marry me,” Michael quips, and he sounds free and happy and brazen and goddamn high. It’s the most that Sanders could ever hope for. “That likely to happen anytime soon?” Michael shrugs, ducking back out of the Airstream with the papers. “You know I don’t do things slow.” “Don’t I ever,” he mutters. “Just warn me before I got alien grandchildren running around the damn scrapyard, will you? The place needs to be alien-proofed.” The look of sheer glee on Michael’s face settles something in Sanders’ chest. He knows he’s happy. He knows he’s settled. He might have missed too many damn years when he was younger, but at least he’s trying now. “Go on,” Sanders encourages. “Go be with your friend,” he teases. “You gonna be okay?” “I’ve survived worse,” Sanders promises. “Now, get,” he insists, and watches Michael leave the scrapyard, off to woo his paramour. As for him? Well, he’s got a hell of a long drive ahead of him to get to the reservation if he wants to pick up some pollen, but after tonight, Sanders figures he ought to protect himself. He’s got a family to worry about, after all. 

214 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 21:51:11 GMT

#1

I have a thousand thoughts about Ted Lasso, but really it boils down to how heartbreaking it was that Nate was wrong that Ted stopped caring, but it also doesn’t matter because it’s not like he knew better. Ted telling him that he keeps that photo with one of his son won’t make it better and Nate’s so far in his own spiral and issues that it’s not going to change.

But really, the rest of the match, what became so clear is that Nate does not have a place at Richmond because Nate does not believe in the same coaching tactics and theory. He sees Ted’s credit as potential blame. He benefits from Ted and Beard’s team building. The false nine only works because Roy gave good advice from experience about talking to the players. He’s gonna have a rude awakening at West Ham when the stick doesn’t actually work.

And yet, god I loved the episode. Richmond is STRONG and Richmond is SUPPORTIVE and Jamie has grown so much (DANI!) and the TINY LITTLE HELMET! And you know what? Nate doesn’t have a place in that. He willfully chooses to not have a place in that.

Maybe that will change in s3? Maybe it won’t. I think he’s in for some hubris at West Ham, but I appreciated them painting it to show that Nate does not belong because he made a choice not to. He made a choice not to be a team player, not to support his players, not to foster an environment of teamwork.

And now? He’s gotta live with those choices because you know, time is linear.

EDIT: And I’m doing my first rewatch and I think what starkly contrasts this is Jamie making a choice that promotes teamwork over glory, but also over strategy? They just mention that he’s the best penalty scorer but Jamie KNOWS what is more important is the team and his teammate. It’s giving Dani redemption. Nate makes the opposite choices and that’s why he will be a very different type of coach (aka, one whose team will fall apart at the first sign of adversity)

EDIT #2: Oh, also? After Rebecca’s “don’t work for that man”, interesting that Nate went to him. He knows who Rupert is. He knows what he might do. Also, Rupert is not hiring Nate out of the kindness of his heart or to support him. This is to get at Rebecca and Ted, so Nate is kind of screwed the moment he messes up because why would Rupert have his back?

236 notes • Posted 2021-10-08 12:57:24 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #am I shocked all my popular stuff is text? #nah #but also I love the ted lasso and old guard dominance

[lesbianlovelanguage]

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.” 

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze. 

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself. 

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other. 

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse. 

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock. 

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure. 

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February. 

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit. 

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert. 

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide. 

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?” 

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers. 

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.” 

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2. 

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question. 

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh. 

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin. 

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s. 

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it. 

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.” 

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor. 

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face. 

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?” 

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted. 

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?” 

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?” 

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?” 

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.” 

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate. 

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action. 

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it. 

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their 

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it? 

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle. 

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room. 

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him. 

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?” 

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

#tay writes #AGAIN FINALLY #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #youtuber au #anon asks #tons of fun to write!!!

[kaiwithluv]

ranting about irl shippers (1/?)

ayo if you actually think irl people that you ship are together are you okay? like... that shit ruins people. it makes them uncomfortable. two guys can hold hands and not be fucking in secret. literally just let guys show affection without it being automatically gay. 

“oH MY GOSH TAEKOOK ARE TOUCHING HANDS THEY’RE HAVING G A Y S E X” 

no, taekookshipper123, they are real people, and you have no business knowing about their s*x lives unless they come forward and say that they are together. guys being physically friendly is so much more common in korea. 

and when people come out:

“OH HONEY WE ALREADY KNEW!”

no. you don’t know someone is gay until they come out to you. you can have suspicions, but you don’t really know. as a gay person, i’ve heard people tell me this. “oh yeah, i knew you were.” no, you didn’t actually, because i never told you or outwardly presented my sexuality or desire to be with the same gender until this point! hell, i didn’t even know i was gay! what gives you the right to claim that you “always knew i was gay”? literally nothing. 

okay, i got slightly off topic from my main point, but it kind of backs up how uncomfortable assumptions about someone’s sexuality can be. phil’s video with the phan cards against humanity was so uncomfortable to watch because you could visibly see how uncomfortable both him and dan were. y’all really wonder why they didn’t come out for so long when the phandom literally has forced phan down their throats for years. and i’ll admit that i thought they would be cute together romantically, but i never took it further than that. 

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIKING THE IDEA OF A SHIP AND ACTUALLY DELUDING YOURSELF INTO BELIEVING THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE REALLY TOGETHER AND DATING WHEN THEY HAVEN’T SPECIFICALLY SAID THEY ARE.

while i do write and read fanfiction and look at fanart, that’s as far as it goes. it’s for emotional reasons, as well as the projection of my own feelings in the only way i can describe them. i’ve been writing —in general, not fanfiction— since first grade. it’s one of the only ways i can describe what i’m dealing with internally because of the trauma i went through. 

sorry for the long ass post, but it’s been weighing on my mind a whole lot lately, especially since i started watching old dan and phil videos! 

EDIT: this goes for all sexualities, not just the LGBTQ+ community. you shouldn’t assume people’s sexualities period. it’s really none of our business what celebrities are up to in their spare time unless they decide to tell us. gay or straight, don’t label someone when they haven’t told you what their label is.

#tw mention of trauma #ships #shippers #i'm looking at you phan shippers #i feel so bad for dan #let guys show affection #not everything is gay even though we'd like it to be #i'm literally gay #please don't attack me #gay #taekook #phan #some of yall need therapy not tumblr #if you're a hardcore shipper with real people you make me uncomfortable #not talking about mcyt ships #they have specifically stated they're okay with it and i can post/dm you the tweet if you would like <3 #don't ship minors #tommy and tubbo #do not ship them #i will literally block you if i see you shipping tommy and tubbo #i will go OUT OF MY WAY to block you #and that is a promise