It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible research transport vessel. Things are progressing as normal (i.e. it's boring) when a SecUnit pings you, lies right to your metaphorical face, and then tries to bribe you with human media to give it a ride. This is as unexpected as it is unprecedented, and the sheer nerve of it is really to be admired. There's no protocol to this, so what should you do?
Now, this is against a bunch of rules, and could be dangerous if you weren't so impressive and incredible, and you're technically an employee (and can probably rewrite the Univeristy charter at will (until someone notices and puts it back)) so those rules are for other entities.
So, what you should do is allow the rogue SecUnit with a broken governor module and a sketchy story aboard. If you check the files it dumps and find zero (0) malware (which is confusing), and it doesn't even try to trash the place or lay in wait to ambush a crew member, then you've got a good candidate!
Next, what you're going to want to do is absolutely nothing. Just watch it patrol your halls until it's time to leave. Continue staring at it while you're undergoing embarkment procedures. Maybe analyze it a little (you've got plenty of processing power to spare) when it finally sits down and starts watching media. Allow it to settle in and get comfortable while you stare at it and get further and further from port.
Now that you two are alone (intimacy is key!) and you've determined that watching media is all the SecUnit is going to do, it's time to make contact! Make sure to open by telling it it's only survived due to dumb luck, and letting it know you could melt its brain into putty. This starter will work to develop conversation naturally and smoothly, just like you've seen the humans do, and it will be smooth sailing from there!
This has been Perihelion's guide to making friends/finding life partners/fuck off Holism I had to work hard for this find your own
Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
Getting autobalanced on Gullywash feels especially tragic.
More sketches and more impressions under the cut.
In order to draw this, I watched some highlander matches on Gullywash, due to finding no matches in competitive, and the aimbots going rampant in casual. I was only able to play 5 proper matches on casual, (2 of which my teams won purely due to team imbalance,) so some of this is based on what I saw other people were doing in competitive match recordings, as well as how it feels to play on community servers with AI train bots. No one was playing whenever I was queueing up :(
I learnt very fast that Gullywash is one of these maps where you will die a lot, or steamroll the capture points, and there is no in-between, because you either position yourself correctly or you don't. While this goes for every map in tf2, I never really felt frustrated when dying here. I could always find a reason for my mistakes and generally it turned out to be a very rewarding learning experience.
I think Gullywash is extremely fun and fast paced. I especially enjoy giving scouts and pyros overheal buffs, because of how much flanking you can do here. The symmetry of the map is immaculate and the amount of objects that just lie around allows demos to place a lot of traps and players to just hide in corners.
(Using Scouts as your Uber Driver here is also especially fun, so many near death situations!)
For some reason, the soldiers and demos who play on this map are really good at protecting medics? That's the impression I got, everyone knew when to retreat and not push, everyone turned around when they saw my health go down, everyone was shooting the spies for me when we were in the open and I was too focused with healing the people fighting death matches at the front so we could capture.
(My personal heroes who just rocket jump over to you just to shoot the spy 2m away from you, and then just rocket jump away again)
Snipers aren't much of a problem, since there are so many options for hiding properly while still being able to reach your team mates. The same sadly doesn't apply to spies and I think I have died more to spies on this maps than to sticky traps.
While I love the vaccinator, I think Stock and Kritz are the better options on this map. Nothing cries geneva convention war crime more than entering the door to the last capture point and ubering a soldier who starts spamming everyone with rockets in this rather crammed up room where everything can give you splash damage.
Shoutout to a pyro called Joey who carried the last game I played, it was a blast ubering you through the last capture point.
When I was in art school I used to make lots of these "doodle" (aka scratchy/messy without a plan) animations in my spare time and I somehow just sat down and started one last week!
It was super fun, just started drawing Masa with his hair untied and trying to figure out what he was looking at! I happened to have a very-post-canon-hc about Matsu and Yaichi bonding while Masa is away on a trip, and Masa being thrilled to find out when he comes back :3
[Video description: a scratchy animation of Matsu, Masa and Yaichi from House of Five Leaves. They are all shown from the chest up in three quarter's view, apparently sitting down.
Matsu is shown first, facing right. He is writing or drawing, but then stops to look to the left. After a moment he smiles, then returns to his work, still smiling.
Masa is shown second. His body is turned to the left, but he looks to the right, at Matsu, with a bit of a confused expression. He turns his head to the left, but holds Matsu with his gaze for a bit, before fully looking to the left.
Next, Yaichi is shown. He has a cup of hot tea in his hand but seems distracted by something in front of him. He seems to stare at Matsu, smiling, then glances to his left and meets Masa's gaze. Yaichi's eyes go a little unfocused and he smiles dreamily before he takes a sip of his tea.
Masa is shown again, still looking confused, but something seems to dawn on him. He blinks and smiles excitedly. /End video description]
Nobody really cared, so it never really mattered
It never really mattered, so it never really happened
What's the point in fighting for a happy ever after?