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juicedaloe · 10 months

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Mithrun and brain damage

I'm not sure if anyone is interested in this, but I wanted to make a post talking about why I think that Mithrun has brain damage from a traumatic brain injury instead of him being a representation of other neurological disorders or mental illness. I'm not that involved in the dunmesh fandom so I don't know how common this headcanon is, though I've seen a few people mention it here and there.

This is just my own opinion so if you disagree then that's fine. Some of this is just speculation and I can't say what Kui's intentions were. This post isn't meant to be that serious. I just wanted to talk about it and hopefully inform about how brain damage can affect some people in a way that I hope is interesting and relevant.

This will be kind of long because I like to talk so it will be under the cut. Apologies for the length and how much I ramble. Feel free to give input especially if I got anything wrong or if this is too confusing.

Okay let's go

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is incredibly complex. The long-term effects of a TBI include a wide array of symptoms. Each injury is different, and some people can completely recover rather quickly while others can become permanently disabled, even for seemingly "minor" injuries. What I'll cover here isn't a definitive representation of the experiences of all those who have long-term effects from TBI, nor do I speak for everyone with brain damage.

Here are some long term symptoms relevant to this post:

Alexithymia (inability to process and name emotions)

Inability to process and name physical perceptions

Mood swings and emotional regulation difficulties

Communication difficulties

Social impairment

Apathy about caring for oneself

Lack of motivation

Alexithymia and inability to process physical perceptions

This one is rather obvious. While Mithrun is shown to feel emotions and have physical sensations (for instance, describing his location when he gets lost in the dungeon as "a cold place"), he is also apathetic to how this affects him. This means that his physical and emotional perceptions are reduced in some way. He says that becoming lord of the dungeon will leave someone "empty", showing he is aware of his dulled emotional state.

A good example of this is can be seen here in a bonus comic where he doesn't give much of a reaction to burning his mouth on hot food.

(I love these two a lot, by the way. Pattadol is really under appreciated.)

He is also not able to recognize bodily signals, such as hunger or when he is tired. Despite collapsing from exhaustion and not eating for long periods of time, he still insists he is not tired or hungry.

Mood swings

Mood swings in combination with alexithymia can be an especially disorientating experience. Those who struggle to perceive their own emotions can still feel them even if they don't know how to recognize it.

Individuals with brain injuries often experience drastic mood swings, particularly anger. To those around them, they can appear to go from 0 to 100 in an instant.

This is more speculation/headcanon on my part, as the strongest emotion Mithrun has for most of his appearances is anger. However one could interpret this as being unrelated as he is seeking revenge for a traumatic experience.

Communication difficulties and social impairment

Not only can naming personal experiences be incredibly difficult with a brain injury, but other areas of communication are often affected as well.

Mithrun is not able to set boundaries for himself even if someone is doing something he would not actually want them to do, which can leave him in a vulnerable position.

People with brain injuries can sometimes have a paradoxical experience when it comes to communicating with others. They can go from being very quiet to speaking at length about one topic, seemingly without regard for the importance of each bit of information. (I see it like Newton's first law of motion. It is hard to start speaking and it can be just as hard to stop.)

I really like this aspect of Mithrun's characterization. Usually, he is very quiet because he has no reason to speak. However, once he starts talking he is shown to be overly specific and goes on for long periods of time. Kabru has to spend multiple days figuring out his story.

In a side comic, Kabru tells Mithrun he should condense some of the personal details that Kabru finds irrelevant to the topic of the dungeon.

Mithrun shares many details about himself because his desire not to do so is gone. This mirrors the experience of many people who have brain damage to overshare and not understand how their words will come across to others. Sometimes they say or do things that are insensitive or inappropriate for the situation.

Caring for oneself and motivation

In the dungeon, Mithrun becomes reliant on others for self care. He also seems especially incapable of motivating himself to take care of his body when he is particularly focused on his goals.

In these panels, thus far he had been fairly receptive of Kabru trying to take care of him. However, he could sense that the demon was close and was too focused on that to care to eat.

Refusal of care and treatment is often an effect of traumatic brain injury. This can be for seemingly no reason, even if the person knows that this will help them. Sometimes people will lie about receiving treatment or doing things to take care of themselves, either so they can avoid it or avoid having someone take care of them.

He knows that eating regularly and not pushing himself too much will help him - he's been told multiple times on-screen - but he still has to be continuously told by others to give him that motivation to take care of himself. He's very apathetic to his physical state, even if it seems his only desire is for revenge and he should be doing anything he can to achieve that.

Other things of note

I wasn't sure where to put this, but while Mithrun's sense of direction is speculated by Kabru to be left over from his time as lord of an ever-changing, confusing dungeon, having poor sense of direction in the way he does could also be indicative of brain injury as well.

While the dungeon is confusing and illogical, he is known to have a poor sense of direction and to get frequently lost by those around him, even trying to exit an entrance he just came through. He is shown to be very intelligent, but memory is greatly impacted by brain injuries which affects a person's sense of direction and location.

Something that really stands out to me about Mithrun is how much the things that help him are particularly helpful to those with brain damage. He is physically capable of performing tasks, but he needs an outside source to remind him and get him started. He relies entirely on routine, and when that regularity is taken away he shows extreme difficulty taking care of himself.

Sometimes, the care that some people need is simply someone else to encourage them or to tell them when to do things. The care that he needs is pretty consistent with a person with a brain injury who does not need a full time caretaker and would prefer to have some independence.

Also, healing magic is specified to not work with brain injury unless the person is killed and revived. Mithrun had not been revived after his injuries, so it is entirely possible for him to have sustained a TBI. I don't think this matters that much because one is still allowed to have headcanons even if there is a magical explanation or isn't really possible in canon, but I thought it was an interesting detail.

In conclusion

Because of all this I don't believe that his lack of self care is due solely to mental illness. While mental illnesses like depression or PTSD can cause a decline in self care, the reasons why the affected individual is avoidant of these tasks differs. These disorders can also cause cognitive difficulties and emotional regulation issues, but not to the same extent or in the same way that brain damage would. I think that he does have both depression and PTSD (both are common after a TBI) but those are not his only disabilities.

And on a personal note, I just think that having a character with brain damage is really cool. Most of the time I've seen it the characters are not given very much respect and they are treated as comic relief and a joke. Regardless of whether you agree with this post or not, it is still nice to see a character with a disability like this.

Thank you if you read all of this. I hope it was easy to understand and I did not ramble too much. I don't have anything else to say but I've been wanting to write this out for a while.

Okay bye

#Dungeon Meshi #Mithrun

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domesticatedpigeonsoup · 2 years

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over analysing the fuck out of sally face characters hair colours

this is going to be long one

Sally - his hair is blue, which is very fitting for him because it represents many aspects of him. such as freedom and confidence that sal shows proving that he does not care about others opinion on him, he is free of worry about judgement of people around him and is confidently himself. sensitivity, loyalty and trust is shown in his care of other, always helping with out payback, and giving emotional support with out being asked, also his ability to befriend and charm almost everyone he comes in contact with. he genuinely cares about everyone around him and doesn't judge people and believes that there is good in everyone, which also gives him quality of faith. he shows wisdom, imagination, resilience in how he has dealt with hardships happening around him. Also the quote "They care and want to contribute to everything they are a part of. Relationships are important to blues." can be attributed to sal's character. there is more to say but I'm going to move on

Travis - i believe that his natural hair colour in not blonde, it seems to be popular hc that he bleaches his hair. my personal hc is that he does it to look less like his father, whom he resents. but i also don't think his natural hair is just brown, i want to believe it's something more interesting. i hc that his natural hair is green due to some interpretations of the colour, such as jealousy and envy which he, in my opinion, feels towards sal and his friends for having a "normal" life, at least as normal it could be in Nockfell. green also could mean rot and decay, which travis might feel in his unloving household, as if his dreams and joy are rotting away and he himself is slowly decaying, especially combined with that green could also mean lack of joy, which would be hard to expierince in travis' conditions. green could also be tied in how he feels about his homosexuality, because it can mean disgust which comes from his long lasting beliefs that being gay is wrong and disgusting, installed in him by his religious father. resentment can also be shown through green, which travis definitely feels for his father after all he's went through, and travis killing kenneth with a green dagger, a knife of resentment, is very poetic to me. on a more positive note, green means growth and rebirth, which travis showed through betraying the church and his father, by being an informant for ash and in the end killing his father and sacrificing himself, and through his death, his character was redeemed and reborn. I also want to give some analysis of his bleached, yellow hair, because yellows means betrayal, and travis did betray the church and his father, cowardice, travis definitely being afraid of his father and what he could do to him, mental illness, travis' traumas and what they probably caused. (i think it is obvious that travis is my favourite)

larry/lisa - their hair is brown, which is a natural colour and might seem like much can’t be said about it (being honest i think none of these colours had intentional meaning) but it still represents the Johnsons well. Both of them are simple and down to earth, people around them can always depend on both (for help with maintenance task around Addinson Apartments or sal needing larry’s help with taking down the cult) people with brown personality can be described as sensual, warm and supportive, qualities that both lisa and larry show from out first introduction to them, also the colour can represent humor, that both have plenty of. Brown can mean relating to the protection and support of the family unit, larry protecting sal when they thought they were caught in their teachers appatment. Also lisa’s qualities of being hard working can be seen in brown.

henry fisher - not going to say a lot about him but, his blue hair can mean melancholy/sadness and grief over death of his wife. Sometimes blue in a person can be seen as unreliability, which henry seems to be due to his alcoholism. light blue means healing, that henry went through during the game, especially after marrying lisa.

diane fisher - everything we know about her is vague, due to all information being from memories of her son and husband, and we don’t know how reliable, so this is going to be super short. sal remembers diane as a warm and happy person. In some places yellow can mean courage, like diane’s self sacrifice to save sally.

#sally face #sal fisher #sally face headcanons #travis phelps #sf travis #travis sally face #kenneth phelps #devours of god #larry johnson #larry face #larry sally face #lisa johnson #lisa fisher #lisa sally face #henry fisher #diane fisher

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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I would for sure read a continuation of the birth photographer fic if you feel comfortable writing it/have time! Xx

a/n sorry I kinda combined these two together, I hope this is okay!! sorry ive taken so long too!! my requests are still open, just going a bit slowly :)

summary: literally just birth + harry

dad!tom x reader

warnings: childbirth, mentions of fainting, squint for suggestiveness too

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“Your doing so good darling, just keep breathin’ like that for me, in-out-in-out”

That had pretty much been the soundtrack to your last 3 hours. And yes it was MORE annoying than it sounds. Of course, that’s also ignoring the insane amount of pain your uterus was putting you through - as it spasmed while the little bug in there was wriggling away. Giving birth was not easy but giving birth with a husband-turned-midwife wittering away in your ear? Un-fucking-bearable.

“Tom…. I love you but..” Everything had really been starting to ramp up in the last half an hour, you were a panting sweaty mess now. “Please… SHUT THE FUCK UP” Tom would’ve recoiled completely away from the bed because of your tone, if it wasn’t for the absolute death grip you had his right hand in. Instead, Tom settled for straightening straight up and staring helplessly and dejectedly across the room at his brother - who of course was trying to hold back laughter, knowing it would be very easy for you to switch your target to him.

Clearly it wasn’t a social call to the hospital, Harry was here under the premise of taking photos when the baby arrives for Tom; but really to stop his brother from having his own breakdown - as commissioned by you. Lets just say, however scared and mortified Harry was of this ‘event’ he was taking a lot of enjoyment from how his brother was acting currently.

“It’s okay sir, if you were pushing a watermelon out of hole that normally was the size of a whiteboard marker, I’m sure you’d be a bit tetchy too.” That lady was your favourite midwife and in a lull between the sets of contractions, you actually managed a laugh. Wide-eyed, Tom just nodded jerkily, murmuring some sort of agreement. It was at this point a flash of light reverberated around the whole room, causing you to breathlessly laugh, Harry’s face informing you the picture he just got of Tom was priceless.

The laughter didn’t last long though, the next contraction had you bearing down on the bed, face contorted in pain as you sucked desperately on the gas and air tube.

“Okay Y/n I think we might be getting there, let me call the senior midwifes in okay?” The midwife had your legs hiked apart, a blanket attempting to cover your modesty - but at this point she was basically sticking her face in your noon. Modesty was out the window.

“Already?” Tom was shocked to say the least, from all his reading and research he’d learnt that the average labour time was more like 5 hours. Lets just say, Tom never exceled in school, never much enjoyed reading - which made the hours of highlighting baby books and pregnancy leaflets all the more extraordinary.

“Babies don’t stick to the script sir.” You could tell she was proud of the pun there, because you know, Tom’s a moviestar. “Professional improvisers, the lot of them.”

The cream walls of the hospital room very quickly filled with more and more people - Harry staying like a fly on the wall, now nervously biting his nails as he watched an obscene amount of medical people all take their turn oggling his sister-in-law’s bits. This was a weird ass situation.

Almost immediately it was at the point the midwifes were telling you to push, which after 9 months of holding a baby in (as well as your ill functioning bladder) sounded like an absolute dream. But it was also absolutely terrifying and exciting and horrifying all wrapped in one. Naturally then, after nodding hesitantly at the midwife between your legs, you’d craned your neck across to tom .You might’ve just told him off, for trying to encourage you, but now? You needed his encouragement.

What met you though, was his face completely drained of colour, mouth hanging slightly open as he hadn’t moved - still staring intently at the midwife. She followed your gaze, only taking half a second to survey the situation before knowingly smiling.

“Can we get a bit of help for dad please?” Immediately one of the more junior looking midwives was directing (pushing) Tom into the chair next to the floor. Suddenly actually concerned, you looked with wide eyes to the lady between your legs, who you felt bad for not remembering her name. With a comforting squeeze of your ankle she reassured you he’d be right as rain after a few moments of having his head between his knees. Also sensing you needed your support, she arched up, beckoning over to Harry who had an equally bemused look on his face.

“No - I-um I’m not.” His squeaking protests were interrupted by a large scream on your part, as another contraction tore through your body. Helplessly Harry glanced between Tom, who was still hunched over on a chair with a nurse squatted infront of him; and you, writhing around on the mechanical bed. He didn’t hesitate then, in jumping right to your side, allowing you to start crushing all the bones in his hand too.

And then it was all happening, a blur of activity and screams. It didnt take long for Tom to pull himself together and then you were flanked on both sides by Holland boys - both giving cheesy encouraging words (which you would’ve again told them to shut the fuck up for, if you’d been able to), Tom also stroking the top of your head. He found it pretty impossible, watching the woman that he loved go through such immense pain - especially when he was technically half the cause. Well… actually more that that, it had been him who had been… well shall we say *needy* those nine months ago.

“Okay Y/n the heads crowning, I know you’re tired but we need a few more big pushes, can you do that for me?”

Merely 5 minutes later and the most beautiful sound in the world echoed through the 4 creams walls. You were absolutely spent, eyes closed as you panted, knowing tears were flooding down your face too. Immediately though, familiar hands cupped both sides of your face, a forehead resting on yours.

“You did it Y/n/n.” His eyes were glassy, watering and red and the way he scoffed a smile in disbelief had you mirroring him exactly.

“We did it.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from all the yells of pain but it didnt matter. The midwife calling you by the name ‘mum and dad’ got both of your attention, a title you’d no doubt start getting used to.

“Meet your beautiful baby girl.” Another choked sob escaped your throat, as this little roughly wrapped up pink alien looking thing was placed onto your chest. Both you and Tom just gazed at her, completely transfixed at the way she wriggled her head slightly, nuzzling into your chest. Tom gently hovered his palm against her little head, while you pressed down the blanket gently, just so you could see all her features.

Then a flash echoed around the otherwise silent room, making you all look up to Harry who was gritting his teeth in apology. “Do mum and dad want to smile for the camera?” The question was posed so hesitantly and quietly, really it wasn’t funny either. That didn’t stop you and Tom both pulling out the biggest grins and chuckling away, allowing Harry to capture the perfect moment. Being referred to as mum and dad - it was bloody comical.

“You gonna tell me her name now?” You looked from Harry to Tom, nodding in approval for him to spill the beans.

“Amber. She’s Amber.”

You’d squabbled for months before ending on Amber. It had been a long relentless process, Tom claiming that your baby might just have ended up as ‘as yet untitled’ which you and your hormonal state had stormed out at. It hadn’t taken much to forgive it though, Tom had long since worked out that Ben and Jerrys was the way to your heart.

The nurses took Amber back to do some tests, properly cleaning both you and her up and after that everything was weirdly calm. Harry had left to give the twothree of you a moment alone and Tom was about to do his turn of skin to skin.

“This really is it isn’t it?” He murmured, whilst carefully scooping Amber from your arms.

“Mhmmm… your stuck with two girls who’ll go psycho on you without a moments notice.” He seemed to accept it though, just nodding in response.

“And I still can’t bloody wait.” His eyes penetrating deep into you, had you blushing like a nervous teenage girl. “ ‘m still so proud of you, you grew this little human.”

“Your not allowed to call her little because you didnt have the ‘little’ thing rip your insides apart.”

“Hey! I’m upset about it too! Was like I had to watch my favourite pub being burnt down.” Of course, trust Tom to make a dirty joke at a time like this.

“Don’t kid yourself, you weren’t watching, too busy fainting.”

“I didn’t actually faint!” This time he protested a bit too loudly, causing Amber to mewl a little and bury her head into the crook of her Dads arm. “I think Ambers just told you to shut it too.”

“You annoy the hell out of…” Your grumbling was interrupted by an impressive, ear-splitting yawn. “ You annoy the hell out of me.”

“But you love me?” He sing-songed, now back to a hushed tone.

“I hope so, otherwise we’re in a bit of trouble.” He scoffed, but nodded his head, taking the hand that wasn’t cradling Amber to tuck some sweaty, knotted strands of hair behind your ear.

“I do owe Harry though, he was at least able to stay on his feet.”

“He was a better birthing partner than you too, much much less condescending and annoying.” You sniggered, making Tom pout once again, only wiping the look off his face when you yawned again, rubbing an your eye like a toddler would.

“If your done insulting me… get some rest love, I got you.” All you did was nod, with a small groan (because below your waist still hurt like a bitch) rolled over so you could fall asleep to sight of the two of them.

“Got you both, my two beautiful girls.”

hope you enjoyed, would love to hear any thoughts <3

taglist: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #Tom Holland blurb #dad!tom #tom holland imagine #harry holland

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sayuricorner · 3 years

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Miraculous Ladybug salt x Jojo’s bizarre adventure: “Biodad!Jonathan Joestar” AU

Headcanons part 1

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing.

Warning 2: This AU content salt don’t like don’t read!

Warning 3: For the Jojo character’s palettes colors I use the anime palette colors as reference.

If you want to use this AU you can! just credite and tag me in return please! :)

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So, in many ML biodad AUs Marinette’s bio dad is most of the time someone like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, but how about:

Biodad! Jonathan Joestar AU

I mean when you think about it both Marinette and Jonathan are alike in looks and personnality!

Appearance:

-Both got blue hair

-Both got light blue eyes

Personnality:

-Both are kind souls

-Both are selfless and think about others before themself most of the time

-Both got a strong sense of justice

-Both are very smart

-Both are combative when needed

-Both don’t hesitate to put themself in danger to protect others

-Both can over-react when they’re carried away by their emotions

And just imagine the story possibilities with this AU!

“But Sayuri! Jonathan Joestar is from the Victorian aera and Marinette is born in the french modern aera how Jonathan would be Marinette’s bio dad in this AU?”

Well the same way which make Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel Jonathan’s kids:

Yep! In this AU Marinette is another child born from Dio’s one night stands!

Now I know that make Marinette Dio’s daughter too and I know Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel are mostly know as Dio’s children but to be honest I consider them more as Jonathan’s kids than as Dio’s because honnestly outside of the head the rest of the body is Jonathan’s.

How Marinette’s conception happen then? Well here’s how:

Years before Marinette’s birth, a young adult Sabine Cheng was on a trip in Egypt, she meet Dio in a bar one night, he seduced her and they got a one night stand, with Dio having the intention to suck Sabine’s blood after, but at one Dio got a brutal crisis.

Normally anyone would get afraid and run away but instead Sabine, being the kind person she was, had done all she can to calm down Dio with all the tenderness she can give. And without being aware of it this actually saved her life.

After helping Dio to calm down both fall asleep, Dio woke up later in night while Sabine was still asleep.

Remembering the warm and familiar kind feeling he experienced during his “episode”, a feeling he didn’t feel for a very long time, he decided to spare Sabine under the pretext he wasn’t in the mood to suck her blood anymore before living to go back to his mansion.

In the morning Sabine wake up only to notice Dio left and never see him again after that night, she go on with her trip and when she go back to France she found out she was pregnant.

She decided to keep the baby, times later she meet and fall in love with Tom Dupain, both end up marrying to each other and Tom adopt Marinette and became legally her father.

The Dupain-Cheng couple also decided to give her a middle name “Joanne” in memory of one of Tom’s aunts with who he was close, making her full name “Marinette Joanne Dupain-Cheng”

Does that mean Marinette in this AU had the Joestar birthmark? Yep, she does! And she also got the Joestar genes when it’s come to body shape: as a kid she look like a shrimp but when she will be older she will get rather tall and will got more muscules to her peers’s surprise.

Did she had a stand in this AU? Yes!

Her stand is called [Viva la vida], a reference to the Coldplay’s song, this stand had the power to create miracles like making plants grow, healing illness and bad injures or being a big source of luck she also had a big affinity with plants and animals. But her powers had limits for example while her miracles allow her to bring back someone to life it’s only possible if the dead person isn’t dead for a too long time and make a powerfull miracle drain Marinette energy and she end up knocked out for a time.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida]’s miracles powers are stronger.

[Viva la vida] isn’t a stand know for her strengh but she’s very fast which allow her to make a lot of punches and kicks at the same time.

Stand’s appearance: [Viva la vida] is an humanoid stand with beetle features, her color schemes are black white and pink, she had beetle wings, big rond blue non-reflective eyes and her head is rond with two anthenas and is a head smaller than Marinette.

But if [Viva la vida] is a cute stand when Marinette is a civil, when the young girl took her Ladybug form, her stand took a more imposing and majesting appearance, she became taller, more muscular, her eyes smaller and almond shaped, her whole body get more armors features and her colors scheme change to black and red with black dots and she emit a rather intimidating aura.

Stand’s behavior: [Viva la vida] is a very expressive stand and very sentient and is a friendly and playfull stand. She’s very curious by nature and had the habit to examin in curiosity when Marinette meet new people or stands. Her being very sentient allow her to sometimes act as a conscience to Marinette.

She also love to eat cookies baked by Marinette.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida] is more serious and a more combative behavior.

Stand’s cry: “Mira!” a reference to “miraculous” and to the word miracle.

AU additional details:

-Class salt

-Bustier salt/bad teacher Bustier

-Adrien salt or Adrien sugar(it’s up to whoever use this AU)

-Lila salt

-Chloe redemption

-Class redemption, a part having a redemption or none of them having a redemption(you choose)

-Permanent miraculous user Luka

-Permanent miraculous user Kagami

-Stand user Luka

-Not everyone die AU/temporary death AU: if some Jojo characters like the Pillarmen, Caesar, Kakoyin, Avdol and Iggy are alive but others like Buccellatti, Abbacchio, Narancia and La Squadra are still dead but will not stay dead(You’ll see).

-Good father Jotaro

-Marinette's closed friends/loved ones calling her "Jojo" in reference to her middle name "Joanne"

-Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel adopted by the Dupain-Cheng

-Protective siblings Donatello, Giorno, Rikiel and Ungalo

-Marinette being the baby sister of all Jonathan’s and Dio’s kids

-[Viva la vida] being a cute stand

-Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel not acknowledging Dio as their dad

-Protective Joestar family

-Jonadad

-Good parents Sabine and Tom Dupain-Cheng

-Permanent miraculous users Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel

-Badass Marinette

-Scientist Gina Dupain at Speedwagon Foundation

-Diavolo and Doppio getting differents boddies

-Akumatised Marinette with her stand being corrupted and turned into a sentimonster.(You’ll see! ;) )

-Temporary Ladybug!Giorno (You’ll see! ;) )

-Diavolo still stuck in the death loop(’cause it’s only canon if Diavolo die!)

-The Pillarmen knowing about the miraculous

-Shipping:You decide the ship you want just not Adrinette please

Arcs for this AU:

The bizarre origins arc:

This arc is about the origins of Marinette’s birth, her growing up and getting a stand, becoming Ladybug and learning to accomplish her duties as Ladybug while learning to control and use her stand and meeting others stand users.(ex: Luka)

The bizarre USA adventures arc:

Take place times after Lila’s return, the liar keep her word and little by little Marinette’s friends turned their back on her and the fights against the akumas are always very hard to not say harder especially ever since she became the guardian.

Seeing their daughter’s moral so down Sabine and Tom decide to send Marinette to Gina to the USA for summer break. After making sure to had Kaalki with her to teleport back to Paris when an akuma attack, Marinette go on a trip to the USA with her grandmother.

But what should have been a normal vacation trip will take a bizarre turn when Marinette will learn about Gina’s job at the mysterious Speedwagon Foundation which will lead to a meeting with four ancients Aztec gods of fitness, getting informations about stands and her mysterious lineage and a meeting with three american unknow brothers.

(In this AU the Pillarmen aren’t dead after Battle Tendency but they’re detained by the Speedwagon Foundation)

The bizarre mass resurection mystery arc:

A lot of things happened in Marinette’s life, things she didn’t expected whatever in good or bad.

Finding out about her grandmother’s job at the Speedwagon Foundation, learning more about her stand, finding about the existence of three brothers and having said newfound brothers being adopted by her parents, her friends isolating her thank to Lila and learning she by Bustier she and Chloe were banned from the class field trip...

So she decided with to create with other classmates from the school a trip club and after some successful fundraisers the club get a trip to Italy.

And since Hawkmoth seemed to not have attacked for a time there isn’t any problems to go on that trip.

In Italy, on Giorno’s side the part 5 events happen just like in canon while on Marinette’s side she and the trip club get a good time in Italy until a particuliary violent stand user akuma attack the country. He was akumatised by Hawkmoth ‘cause Gabriel Agreste was on a business trip in Italy and thought creating a akuma in the country would attract Ladybug and Chat Noir and give him an advantage since the akuma attack in a unfamiliar place.

The fight was very hard but in the end Marinette and her allies were able to beat the akuma and with her miraculous powers combined with her stand powers she revert any damage... it’s even worked for damage/injuries/death by stands leaving Marinette knocked out for a time since she use a lot of energy while using her stand’s miracle powers.

On Giorno’s side after he beat Diavolo and became the boss it was noticed that Buccelatti, Narancia, Abbacchio, the whole La Squadra were bring back to life.

Even Doppio was back but in a boddy of his own.

Everyone thought at first this was the work of [Gold experience requiem] but it was reveiled later this was the work of another stand which will put Giorno, his gang and even Jotaro with the SWF on a big infestigation which will lead them to the stand user resposible for this mystery and unknowly to them and to Marinette to one big bizarre family reunion.

The bizarre family arc:

With everything which happened in Italy, Marinette not only had to deal with Lila, Hawkmoth, the akumas and her guardian duties but also with the discovery of an extended families and horrible and disturbing informations about “one of her bio fathers”.

And one day Lila took things too far leading Marinette to unleash all her frustration, stress and anger making her akumatised and it will be up to Giorno as a temporary Ladybug holder, her true friends and her family to saved her from herself and from Hawkmoth’s influence.

But the task will be hard with not only Marinette being akumatised but also with her stand [Viva la vida] having being unconsciously corrupted by Mayura while trying to corrupt Marinette turning her into a sentimonster.

The bizarre final showdown arc:

A alliance between Hawkmoth and a mysterious priest will lead the miraculous villain to his ultimate plan by helping the priest to resurect a powerful man, a man infamous for being a curse to the Joestar family and to the world, with the promise to achieve Heaven and to gain a power which will allow Hawkmoth to do all he want.

It will be up to Marinette, her friends, allies and her new found family to put an end to Hawkmoth once for all and to beat this priest before the worst happen with the resurection of the infamous Dio.

But bizarre chains of events will lead to another resurection, the resurection of a man very well know by the Joestar family and who’s tightly connected to Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel.

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witchyintention · 3 years

Text

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕔𝕣𝕒𝕗𝕥?

As of late many have found themselves taking steps into the wondrous world of witchcraft. However it is a lot more than just an aesthetic. It is a lifestyle that is both beautiful and dangerous when you don't know what you're doing. Witchy Intention is to help guide you in your craft and teach you through my experiences and research. Along with many other experienced witches through interviews.

When you hear someone say witchcraft you instantly jump to satanic or devil worship but truth be told it's not. Satan is a figure in Christianity and has absolutely nothing to do with witchcraft. So what is witchcraft you ask. Witchcraft is an earth based religion or practice, and has been practiced in almost all the societies and cultures across the world. Though each craft is different according to local beliefs and traditions.

According to scholars of witchcraft, it was a belief system whose origin predates the majority of well known religions. It dates back so far many do not know the exact date, but we have seen it in many cultures such as ancient Egyptians. It also has been evolving since then and its present form is quite different from what it was thousands of years ago. And different areas practiced it differently. Even today from person to person and Coven to Coven it is practice differently. To each their own. It's a unique experience in itself.

In the ancient times, Witchcraft was known as ‘craft of the wise’ as the wise persons were those who followed the path of nature and were in tune with its forces, had the knowledge of herbs and medicines, gave wise counsel and were held in high esteem as Shamanic healers and leaders in the village and community. They understood that nature was superior to human beings and that human beings were simply one of the many parts of nature, both seen and unseen that combine to form one whole. As Chief Seattle said, “We do not own the earth; we are a part of it.” They understood that what we take from nature or use, we must return in kind to maintain the balance and equilibrium. The modern man has, however, forgotten this and has paid the price in the form of many ecological and environmental disasters.

Unfortunately for the past several hundred years the image of the witch has been associated with the evil, heathenism and unrighteousness due to prejudices created by the Christian church. Somewhere along the line Christians accused the Pagan Horned god as the devil because these pagans didn't believe in the same god as them. So what does some Christian of high power do? Calls it devil worship. Despite the fact the bible never tells us what Lucifer looks like upon going to hell.

However, as of late people have started understanding and practicing witchcraft as the true religion of God and Nature. There is renewed interest in witchcraft and witches profess to believe and practice the craft with a sense of pride and confidence. The believers in the New Age movement have understood witchcraft in its true perspective.

Modern witchcraft attracts believers from all walks of life and positions in society all over the world. They come together to understand the life, nature, evolution and mysteries of the universe through witchcraft. Witchcraft is the most democratic religion and practices in the world. There is no rigid dogma and no hard-line regime except for a simple premise that we should not do evil and if we do, know it will come back in multiple. Though not all witches bide by this but many of us do. Secondly, we should not misuse the generosity of nature by disturbing its balance. This is certainly something we all bide by.

There are many forms of witchcraft like I had said earlier it differs from person to person. I will have a separate episode going into the top most popular kinds of witches but for now let's just explain a few things. A lot of other belief systems have set rules of what is good and what is bad, think the ten commandments, or Orthodox Jews are not allowed to use anything mechanical on the Sabbath, or Muslims are only allowed to eat certain parts of the animal. Witchcraft isn't like that. It's more about the big picture and how our actions contribute to that big picture.

I would also like to clarify that being a witch doesn't mean your Wiccan or even pagan. You can very much still be Christian and practice the craft. Remember I said witchcraft was all about the mother earth along with whatever god or gods you worship. This includes the Christian god. I personally know a few Christian witches.

However note that if you are a Christian witch you will be working with only that god. If you plan to work with other gods perhaps you need to rethink your religion's standpoint. "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me" is one of the Ten Commandments found in the Hebrew Bible at Exodus 20:2 and Deuteronomy 5:6. With that said the craft is something unique and interesting but be careful because it is real and it can be dangerous.

When new witches find themselves wanting to get into the craft but they really have no idea where to start. Try the history. There is a lot more history than I could even hope to cover in a single session. This is nothing more than an introduction to it. When you are learning about its history you will find many different kinds of practices.

Though it's perfectly fine to be drawn to a practice and wanting to do it. Make sure you first do research on whether the practice is a closed or open practice. Closed practices are closed for a reason and most times you have to have approval to practice it and be sworn in. So if you find yourself wanting to do a closed practice make sure you do the research on how you can do it and do go through the proper procedures.

Some might not let you in at all. For example Voodoo. Voodoo is one of the ones you work with your ancestors, an African folk magic. Those gods (spiritual beings? I really don't know.) are not going to be very accepting of one who is of European descent because your ancestors did their ancestors wrong.

If you are considering the craft, know this, you will spend your whole life learning about the craft. Even the most seasoned of witches are constantly learning. The craft in a sense is like a hypothesis. You will constantly be learning, writing down your findings, doing this and that, to see if it works and figuring things out as you go. But before you even think about getting a head of yourself you need to do lots of research. Don't think 'oh I read a book I can now do a spell'. Witches read a lot. Even if we have already read something on a topic we will keep on. Cross reference everything you read. There is plenty of false information. Especially on the internet, but there are some good sources too.

You need tons of training and maybe even guidance from established witches before you cast your first spell. However we know full well that you learn by doing. So go for it but start with small simple spells. Note that writing a spell or doing a spell does not require a coven, animal bones, and full moon, as fun as nights involving these can be. In fact many witches don't have covens and many do not use animal bones.

Sometimes it’s not about forming the biggest circle under a full moon, but just having a good time with other witches. Or even yourself if you prefer to do Magic solo. It's fine and very much acceptable. But coven or not it's always fun to do with friends. Nothing's like dancing around a bonfire with your best friends.

Practicing can get expensive. I mean you're going to spend a lot of money on books. Though the internet had everything you could possibly need, nothing beats a good book on witchcraft. I mean who doesn't want a bookshelf full of witchcraft research. Then the actual items you'll need will cost you. Even if it's not aesthetically pleasing. People tend to go a cheaper route using things for the dollar store or reusing sauce jars. Which is good but you will still spend a pretty penny because you'll constantly be getting new ones. Jars break, candles melt, herbs are all used up and crystals can and will break. And no your practice might not always be aesthetically pleasing or photo worthy at all time. Truth be told it can be a bit messy, kinda like arts and crafts. Then again witchcraft is both an art and a craft so it makes sense.

Not all witches are female. Whether you are male, nonbinary, trans, genderless, or anything in between, you can be a witch. It's true that there is a beautiful history of women and witchcraft but magick is genderless. Magik does not care about your gender, sexuality, or religious beliefs. Magik is also not good nor evil, it all depends on how the protactioner is using it.

Popular belief also tells that you have to be born into a witch family or your ancestors have to be a witch for you to be one. That's not true. I have said it once and I have said it twice. Anyone can be a witch.

Hexes, they are real. Sorry if this scares you, but hexes, cast to inflict misfortune on others, are indeed real. Some witches but not all believe Magic used with ill intent will come back three times on the caster. Some call this The Rule of Three some call it karma. Either way just know it will come back to you some way or another, even if it's by a return to sender spell.

One of the mean teachings of witchcraft by most forms is what you put into the universe is what you get out of it. If you put positivity into the world you'll get positivity back. The same could be said about negativity. But then someone will say 'Oh I have been putting positivity in the world and nothings happening.' If that's the case the negativity you've been put into the world prior to it is still trying to catch up to you. So keep up the positivity even if it's hard.

You don't have to wear all black. There isn’t a standard dress code for witches, and while it’s absolutely acceptable to wear black from head to toe, there are just as many witches who prefer a sundress and sandals as there are who like black fishnets and velvet.

Black cats are not needed either. Though there is nothing wrong with having a black cat and being a witch. Both have been misunderstood for their supposed evil intentions and connections to dark magic for centries.

Remember real magic isn't some Harry Potter mumbo jumbo either. Though let's face it, we can all still pretend that's what it's like. I do. I know the difference between real magic and what the church and Entertainment make it out to be. But I still enjoy the fiction as much as the real. But we do use wands. Though not all of us do and if anything it's to help control where our magic goes to say.

Black, Grey, White, Evil or Good Magic are terms I personally do not use. Some people use these terms, but they probably shouldn't. To start, they have racist undertones. Rituals that are mistakenly believed to be bad are labeled black magic often come from traditions such as Hoodoo, which is traditional African folk magic, that is also a closed practice. Another thing I have said before is that Magic and Witchcraft alike are not good or bad, it's all on how the protationer uses it. I personally tend to stay away from these labels simply because I do not like the negative feeling given and the story behind them. But that is just me, I would hope many follow in those footsteps but not all are going to. I fully understand that.

✩ Don't Steal Other Peoples Work ✩

Written:

May 24, 2020

By:

Reine Alicis

#real magic #grimoire #sigils #sigil magic #witches of tumblr #real witchcraft #triple moon #prophecy #celtic #greek patroness #witch blog #witchcraft blog #high priestess #witch community #witchcraft 101 #witchcraft info

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lavenderbexlatte · 3 years

Note

Hello!!! Welcome to 🦋 anon's probably-way-too-overthought analysis on the m&m series in light of the new part. I have stopped crying and had about 24 hours to think, and I have discovered I have many thoughts, and this will probably be way more detailed than it should be.

The first thing I would like to address are some of the accusations Chan made at the end of the most recent part. (While I understand that they're supposed to not quite be accurate because of their obvious root in insecurity, and a lot of what I'm saying may just be like "yeah, obviously," I still would like to tell at the character a bit but I can't so this is what I have.)

Claim #1: "You fucking came at us at that party with your little girl-dom agenda and the guys fell for it, hook line sinker!"

This one's fairly self explanatory, no she didn't. They literally came onto her, even him, with his "There’s that pretty blush," and "Whatever you want it to be," lines. (And while yes, it's very likely that he was just trying to play it cool, but there's no way she could've known that, I'll come back to this later.)

Claim #2: "Nobody fucking asked me what I wanted!" "Nobody asked if I was sure that I wanted…"

Also mostly false, but he does have a tiny bit of a point. Yes, reader did grab his hair without asking, which is a little iffy, but she didn't actually rough with him until he goads her on. But I would argue that the reader is actually the ONLY one who asks him what he wants, if he's okay with things. While there may have been a little bit of discussion on the decision to approach the reader that we didn't see because of perspective (him saying this is kind of telling me that there wasn't, or at the very least not enough, maybe even some pressure for this to be the moment), or maybe Changbin said something while reader is with Jisung on the couch, after that, we don't see Jisung and Changbin check in with him at ALL, and there's not really an opportunity any other time for it just not have been noticed by the reader. As his partners, and the ones in the situation who have the full knowledge of Chan's situation, it should've been their responsibility to make sure he was alright throughout the process, even if they're not the ones in control for this situation, ESPECIALLY if they're going to keep this information from their Domme for the night (which really, I would say, wasn't a good idea, but no one is required to out themselves so I'll leave it alone).

HOWEVER, the reader does check with him, several times. She asks for boundaries/hard limits/etc before they even start anything, and while again, he's not required to say "hey, having a sexuality crisis, first time with a girl, kinda nervous," and he may not want to tip off Jisung and Changbin that something's wrong, that would be the time to say something like "I'm not feeling anything rough tonight, if you could be gentler that would be great." She asks them if there's anyone that doesn't actually want to fuck her. Also, she implements a safeword system (which she specifically calls him out to make sure he's okay with), which they weren't even going to USE, and asks them at least twice throughout the scene for their color, and Chan specifically if he's okay at least two more times besides that. Actually Chan almost makes fun of her for asking so many questions, so I think this claim is just another part of his insecurity-fed delusion that she's conspiring to ruin his life, or something, but again I'll come back to that. My point is that despite being the only one who doesn't know his situation, reader is also the only one who checks in with him.

There are a few other things he said that I took issue with, but those are the main two.

Next; Chan's delusion that reader is like conspiring to ruin his life. (Really like how you depicted this by the way, though I may be thinking wayyy too far into this.) I remember watching some video when I had one of my mental health/disorders hyperfixations. The video was about schizophrenia, and while I definitely don't think Chan has schizophrenia, one of the things the video talked about was types of delusions, and this kind of reminded me of one of them. I don't remember what it's called, but it's basically a delusion based around one idea, and then you force the world around you to fit into that idea. One example of this that I can think of is Azula from ATLA. Towards the end of her arc in the TV series, she starts seeing hallucinating her mother everywhere, and you get a peek of her fixed belief that her mother is behind everything that has gone wrong in her life, which is expanded upon a little bit in the books. Obviously Chan's not experiencing delusion to the extent that she did, but I did see some (albeit much less intense) parallels that were interesting. See, if he only talked about how his boyfriends seemed to like the reader more than him, that would be one thing, but he brings up his mother as well, which even though they did speak, it's a little out there to say that your mother likes someone she's talked to once more than you. That, combined with his insisting that the reader is playing some sort of game makes me think of that a little.

Of course this was only at first, when I was like "wtf, where is this 'my boyfriends like you more than me' thing coming from?" And then I reread the first few parts for this monstrosity of an ask that I'm writing rn. While at first I thought that this was entirely out of left field, when I read through the first few parts, especially the second one, with the knowledge that he felt that way, I noticed a few things you had put in there.

For the majority of the scene, or at least the first good chunk, the reader deals with Jisung and Changbin alone, leaving Chan by himself to watch. Obviously, as we see the reader's perspective, we know that it's because she found Chan's attitude intriguing and wanted to be able to deal with that one on one (at least that's what I got from it), it's easy to see now how to someone who's already insecure about their relationship and themselves, that would read as someone replacing you. Especially when Jisung, with no ill intent, but still, outright rejects his help in favour of the reader, and once again, he is left out, only this time it's accompanied with the sting of knowing (or at least feeling) that your partner didn't want you involved.

Now I kinda want to go character by character, and idk, talk about what I think they did wrong? We'll see, I'm not going to edit this so here we go.

Jisung and Changbin : Honestly, looking back on 3racha's first encounter with the reader, they really should have done better as Chan's partners. Like I said earlier, as the ones who knew Chan's situation, and the ones who likely pressured him slightly into he whole ordeal, it was really their responsibility to make sure Chan was okay with everything that was going on. That, and them feeling the need to sneak around with reader behind Chan's back doesn't sit right with me. I get that they have an open relationship, but there's a difference between having an open relationship and hooking up with someone your partner doesn't like, and actively trying to hide that you're hooking up with them. Their relationship boundaries may be fine with that, but idk, something feels off about it.

(I couldn't figure out where to put this and you may have already addressed this but it's my little theory/headcanon that Chan actually suspected it was reader at Jisung's place, and when there wasn't anyone there, he kinda gaslighted himself afterwards, idk. With the new knowledge it feels likely.)

Also, knowing that they were together for a while before Chan joined the relationship I think explains so much about the communication issues they seem to have with him. While I do think Chan has trouble communicating his feelings about things, I think their established communication and knowing eachother really well doesn't help. I may just be making things up at this point, but I feel like they have trouble with communication with Chan specifically, maybe forgetting that he doesn't have the same time/experience thy have with each other? If that makes sense?

Chan : oh boy. I've gone into a lot of detail already, so I'll try to keep this brief. Obviously, I think he has a looooottt of insecurity he needs to work through. If I were reallllyyy analyzing this I would say maybe a past cheating partner(?), but unless that's relevant to the plot I'm not sure if that's just me reading too much into this. Also mentioned before, COMMUNICATION ISSUES. One thing that would prevent half of the issues with this series is Chan communicating with his partners, though I suppose that wouldn't be near as much fun to read. Or just communicating I'm general, like I said, he had a plethora of opportunities to communicate to reader if he wanted something different, and didn't. So, yeah. Honestly I think he causes most of his own problems, but I feel like we knew that.

Reader : Now. I spent most of this series completely on the reader's side. Last night after reading part six, I was like "oh my god. He's right!" But then I took a while and thought a lot about it (as you can see), and honestly, I think reader probably did the least wrong out of everyone. Yes, the hair thing was a little iffy, like I said earlier, but once I went back and realized that he was actively participating and egging her on, I don't think that's necessarily something she did wrong. Beyond that, she did the most in regards of communication (at least during sex, after is another story), even more than the partners themselves. I think she did the best she could with the information that was given to her. She saw three guys approach her as a unit, and while yes, she didn't ask before engaging with Chan, I don't think it's really her fault for assuming that they were all interested as a unit as well. She had no reason to question any of their sexualities, why would she? She sees three partners approach her in unison, why wouldn't she assume they were on the same page? Anyway, all that to say, I think reader is the most innocent of all the main characters so far, though I may feel different after sitting on this for more time.

Anyway, here's this unedited brain dump, loved the new part, enjoy. Or not ig - 🦋

i've been sitting on this for like a week bc it's just so long and amazing??? and i have no idea what to say?? 🥺🥺

the bit about chan having a sort of delusion that reader is out to ruin his life in a pointed, conspired way is VERY interesting. their dynamic is actually something that i pulled from myself, in a way. i'm really superstitious about dumb things. i hate, like, bumping into someone or accidentally saying something that hurts someone's feelings bc i know that that karma/vibe/intention (whatever you wanna call it, i'm not spiritual just paranoid) is gonna come back around.

reader is the opposite. she's just walking around doing things and thinking about herself, and then being shocked when there are equal and opposite reactions to the stuff she does. i overthink everything, so reader doesn't think nearly enough.

but lemme say

that the best thing you said is how jisung and changbin are absolutely not the innocent bystanders that everyone seems to think they are 🤐🤐 most readers LOVE those two. but think about it...what are they trying to accomplish, here? 👀

#🦋 anon #a long one!!! a good one!!!#wishing feedback #tw schizophrenia #just a mention but i'll tag just in case

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aj28gaming · 3 years

Text

Nagito's dementia and misuse of information

CAN PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO USE FRONTOTEMPORAL DEMENTIA SYMPTOMS TO EXPLAIN HIM?

What I mean is, yes he has dementia or is at least diagnosed with it

And I believe that he probably does actually have dementia (not saying he could've lied tho but he could've still been misdiagnosed)

But that doesn't mean he has all of the symptoms

I don't think we can confirm if he does or doesn't have dementia because he might just not have all of the symptoms

But I do know that using the symptoms to explain his character isn't a good idea especially since it usually undermines who he actually is

So stop using his dementia as a way to explain EVERYTHING HE DOES AND IS

He doesn't even have all the symptoms and is close to having almost none of them

Using a mental illness to explain a character's entire character is a bad idea and makes it seem like it's who they are entirely

Yes Nagito is diagnosed with dementia however that isn't who he is entirely

He is a complicated character with a lot of layers

And his illnesses definitely don't make up ALL OF HIS LAYERS AND CHARACTER

Okay now, let me explain

(These are a combination of all of the symptoms of Frontotemporal dementia that I have gathered)

(I AM NOT TRYING TO PROVE HE DOESN'T HAVE DEMENTIA BECAUSE HE MIGHT STILL HAVE IT, I'M JUST TRYING TO POINT OUT WHY USING THE SYMPTOMS TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING HE DOES IS A BAD THING)

Now onto the symptoms:

Behavior and/or dramatic personality changes, such as swearing, stealing, increased interest in sex, or a deterioration in personal hygiene habits

- No, and no not even when the killing game started. Yeah sure he laughs now, but that's no different from how he is normally since laughing for him is what he does when he gets surprised or stressed. He doesn't change much in the killing game, he still believes in hope and everyone else, still respects boundaries, still have crazy high intellect and empathy, still pushes people away

Socially inappropriate, impulsive, or repetitive behaviors

- not really, again the guy is a freaking gentleman even during the killing game. He respects boundaries, reprimands Teruteru for sexual assault during chapter 1, pushes people away and distances himself from others, isn't at all impulsive (usually quite the opposite really), and is usually planning and tries to remain calm and composed throughout the killing game (struggling tho cuz yeah killing game)

Impaired judgment

- here, I kinda disagree. I wouldn't say that Nagito is entirely in the right with everything he does, but I understand his views. The guy knows that no one is truly a bad person in the killing game because everyone was forced into it. He knows that even the blackened escapes and everyone dies, it isn't fully a bad thing because that means someone escapes and goes back home to their loved ones while the killing game ends

If a blackened succeeds, the despair would be of course everyone else dying and the blackened going through a lot of trauma, but the hope would be the end of the killing game and the blackened going home or to their loved ones or to their goal in life or whatever

If the blackened dies, the despair would obviously be the blackened dying and the killing game still continuing, while the hope would be everyone else still alive

Nagito isn't exactly wrong in wanting to help the blackened as well, of course, Nagito would want him himself to be the victim so another person gets a chance at escape and no one else would be the victim

Sadly for Nagito, that time never comes

Nagito doesn't want others to be killed, he wants to sacrifice himself instead as the victim instead of everyone else

Apathy

- .....big no. Nonononono. The dude is anything but apathetic.

"Apathy is a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something."

Seriously, being a dude who is constantly supportive of everyone and their hopes in life and how passionate this dude gets about hope and despair, and the fact that he is the most stressed 24/7 about something bad happening due to his luck, this guy is seriously anything but apathetic

Lack of empathy

- No. If the guy truly lack empathy he wouldn't need to use Hope desperately as a coping mechanism, wouldn't care about the ultimates and their hopes and despairs, wouldn't constantly be thinking about helping the ultimates and overcoming despair, wouldn't be the most stressed out of everyone, and definitely wouldn't be in love with Hajime or even act the way he did in chapter 1

Decreased self-awareness

- You don't actually understand why you act the way you do. A good indicator that you lack self-awareness deals with how well you understand your emotions, actions, and behavior. People who lack self-awareness often feel constantly off-kilter, anxious, or angry.

This is not Nagito at all. The guy understands his emotions and behaviors which is why he is able to do the things he does and is able to conduct plans based on how much he understands his own self and capabilities. The guy is actually the most self-aware out of everyone, he knows about how people don't understand him and constantly misunderstand him and his intentions, he is aware constantly of his inability sometimes to properly explain his goals to people.

The guy has a lot of self-awareness and isn't afraid to take responsibility for his actions. Actually, it's because of how self-aware he is of his own self and his destructive luck cycle that he constantly blames himself for anything bad that happens.

The guy is seriously self-aware as hell and it's scary sometimes

Loss of interest in normal daily activities

- Nope, he hasn't shown any sign of apathy towards anything and is usually pretty hyped about doing daily activities. He is paranoid though on the daily because he fears for what his luck cycle might do

Emotional withdrawal from others

- Emotional withdrawal involves bottling up your emotions. It involves cutting out the people who could help us, because we're so used to rejection that we've learned to anticipate it. Because we've learned to disconnect from others, we develop other unhealthy coping mechanisms

Emotional withdrawal is defined as pulling back emotionally or physically by bottling up your feelings or disconnecting from others. Emotional withdrawal can be far more complex at times. It is comparable to a breakup, in every way but physical.

Kind of? Yes, he pushes people away, but he is still willing to spend time with people, especially Hajime, when they really insist. He politely pushes people away, but he isn't opposed to hanging out with people either though it is sometimes rare

Loss of energy and motivation

- .... I already said it before, the guy is full of motivation and energy and passion that it is scary sometimes

Inability to use or understand language; this may include difficulty naming objects, expressing words, or understanding the meanings of words

-.....WHY IS THIS HERE? THE GUY IN THE JAPANESE DUB CONSTANTLY FLEXES HIS DAMN ENGLISH VOCABULARY DESPITE IT BEING A JAPANESE DUB

AND THE FUCKING ENGLISH WORDS HE USES ARE FANCY AND HIGH LEVEL AS FUCK THAT I FEEL SMART JUST READING THEM

Hesitation when speaking

- Definite no, the guy isn't afraid to voice his own opinions and never hesitates and can get very vocal about the things he is passionate about

Less frequent speech

- Again, definite hell no. I wouldn't be surprised if his voice lines are longer than the voice lines of everyone else combined

Distractibility

- Nope. The guy is focused on his goals constantly. No matter what he does, you can always be sure that it is for a certain goal. He pisses of Fuyuhiko? It was to get a reaction from him to confirm his suspicions about the true culprit. He lied about the rope? It was to see how Mikan would react and how the trial would go to confirm his suspicions about Mikan being the culprit?

The guy is focused like a damn soldier

Trouble planning and organizing

-.....do I seriously need to explain? This is Nagito we are talking about

Frequent mood changes

- Not really. He usually acts or reacts a certain way because something happened like someone died or something. He is actually pretty normal with how he acts and reacts and doesn't really change his mood rapidly that much

Agitation

- Yes and no? Sure the guy gets paranoid 24/7, but is still somewhat more chill than agitated to an extent. He is easy going and is just paranoid about what his luck would do, he is vigilant but not necessarily agitated

Increasing dependence

- No. The guy is independent to a fault and only relies on others when his plans call for it. He also usually does things of his own accord and rarely with a partner unless he really needs to or his goal is to help that person specifically, which knowing him is a usual thing

Unwillingness to talk

- Again, no. The guy talks a lot and while he pushes others away, he wouldn't turn down a conversation if the other person wanted one

Lack of inhibition or lack of social tact

- Again, no. The guy is a gentleman and respects boundaries and definitely gets stressed especially in the killing game. The guy is also paranoid 24/7 on a normal day due to his luck cycle

Obsessive or repetitive behavior, such as compulsively shaving or collecting items

- No? Sure he clings to hope but that is more of a coping mechanism. If he isn't in a stressful situation like a killing game he doesn't get that obsessive as much about hope since he doesn't need to desperately cling to it as a coping mechanism

Unusual verbal, physical or sexual behavior

- No? He isn't at all like this. It isn't unusual to panic or use a coping mechanism desperately when in a situation like a killing game, and he doesn't do anything unusual like this when it's a normal day. Sure the guy gets paranoid, but that's it

Weight gain due to dramatic overeating

- No? Actually, I don't really know how much weight he gains to be honest so idk

My main point here is, yes there is a chance Nagito does actually have dementia, but using the symptoms as a way to explain his character undermines who he actually is and can cause a lot of misunderstandings of his character

Especially since I remember being told that they only added in dementia to his character backstory a little late during his character development and creation

It isn't a good idea to use his symptoms because it usually gets his character wrong and sometimes makes them excuse a lot of the things he has done

The guy is self-aware, isn't socially inept, is a gentleman, and socially intelligent as hell

And again

Stop using his dementia as a way to explain EVERYTHING HE DOES AND IS

He doesn't even have all the symptoms and is close to having almost none of them

Using a mental illness to explain a character's entire character is a bad idea and makes it seem like it's who they are entirely

Yes Nagito is diagnosed with dementia however that isn't who he is entirely

He is a complicated character with a lot of layers

And his illnesses definitely don't make up ALL OF HIS LAYERS AND CHARACTER

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liums · 4 years

Text

Malleus Draconia SR Halloween “Scary Outfit” Personal Story-This is...interesting

Part 1

Diasomnia Dorm- Lounge

Lilia- ....Here you are Malleus. I was looking for you.

Malleus- Lilia. What happened?

Lilia- There’s something I want to ask for.

Lilia- Would you decide on the disguise for Diasomnia this Halloween?

Malleus- Me? Why? Lilia did chosen it last year and 2 years ago.

Lilia- This year, in particular, I’m working as a steering committe member. I have to show up in the club activities .

Malleus- However, I don’t know what to do. I think there are more suitable people...

Lilia- No, only our Lord.

Lilia- Choosing a disguise means deciding Diasomnia theme for year.

Lilia- if its such an important thing...in my opinion, then I, or the dorm learder must decide.

Malleus- Does Lilia, who looks forward to halloween every year, decides the outfits for that reason?

Lilia- Kufufufu...Well, there is another reason.

Lilia- Its boring that I get to decide a costume every year.

Lilia- However, if the next king of the Valley of Thorns chooses, all diasomnia students will be curious.

Lilia- Of couse, I am too. How is it? Will you do it?

Malleus- ....All right. If Lilia says so, I will choose.

Malleus- Certainly, I will choose a ghost costume with various monsters caracteristics (Didn’t understand well,its literally translated as- Certainly, I was dressed in a ghost costume with various monsters as mortifs from each dorm)

Malleus- I will go to the library and try to find useful books.

-Library

Malleus- ....Well, what kind of disguise should I wear?

Malleus- Even if I choose a theme, it needs to be relatable with Diasomnia.

Malleus- A high-rank being is desirable, but....

Malleus- If I choose the dragon, Lilia will complain I should deviate a little more.

Malleus- It should be a creature that I myself has never seen. If I do that, It will be possible to make a difference to the other Dorms.

Malleus- If I look up local folklore from diferent regions, I may find information about creatures that you can’t find regularly.

Malleus- However, it will be hard to find those books.

Maleus- I’ve heard that you can search for the book you need by using a computer in the library....

Malleus- .....No, it’s complicated to use them.(poor Malleus ｡T ω T｡) .Let’s go around and looks for a book.

...*some time passes i think*

Malleus- ...98.....99....this is the 100th book.

Malleus- No way, there are about 100 folklore books in this library...

Ortho- Wow! So many books!

Malleus- You are....the youngest Shroud.

Ortho- Malleus Draconia!

Ortho- What happened to be stacking a lot of books around?

Malleus- I have to decide on a Halloween costume.

Malleus- I was gathering books, but when I noticed, I was surrounded by a lot of books.

Ortho- Hmm. Can I help you if you are looking for something?

Ortho- If you are interessed, you can use a database instead of the books in the library.

Ortho- And if you use the ”Olympus” search engine

Ortho- You can also do a semantic search that uses the user intentions and purposes. How about?

Malleus- In other words....what do you mean? (why is this cute)

Ortho- It identifies what Malleus Draconia wants to find out. (also Ortho deserves best brother award)

Malleus- Hmm....I understand.

Ortho- “Activate voice recognition function. Start the semantic search”.

Malleus- ......................

Ortho- ....Oh, so?

Malleus- what?

Ortho- Um...Can you tell me what you want to look up, even if its fragmented?

Malleus- Can I?

Ortho- Of course.

Malleus- Then...I am looking for information on creatures used as inspiration in halloween costumes...

Ortho- “Searching...”

Malleus- What happened?

Ortho- Don’t worry, can you tell me more?

Malleus- ....Alright.

Malleus- I would like to consider a high-ranking creature suitable for Diasomnia.....

.....

Ortho-”Search complete”

Ortho- I found it, Malleus Draconia. I’ll project the image on the wall right away!

Malleus- Oh, This is.....Interesting.

Part 1 end

Part 2

-.Library

Ortho- Is this the creature that Malleus were looking for?

Malleus- Hmm...The King who dominates the demons on Bald Montain.

Ortho- It has a big pitch black body and huge wings. And its penetrating eyes....so cool!

Ortho- I’m certain there was never a costume with this concept in the history of Night Raven College before.

Malleus- Certainly he is a high-ranking being....

Malleus- However, if the body is all black, it will not stand out. Lilia would likely complain that it’s too plain.

Ortho- “Researching.....search completed”

Ortho- If that’s the case, then look. A headless horseman who rides trough the valley at night!

Ortho- A galloping horse swinging a sword! The red cloak stands out, dosen’t it?

Malleus- ....No, its no good.

Ortho- Eh!? Why?

Malleus- When it comes to reproducing its appearence that has no neck, The costume becomes too complicated.

Malleus- Besides, it would be difficult to prepare horses for all the students.

Ortho- I see....

Ortho- Reflecting the current information, the next image is...This!

Malleus- .....Oh? It’s quite small but, is this red being is.....a dragon?

Ortho- Oh? Dragon should have been omitted from the search since we looked it up before....Oh!

Ortho- This is not a dragon. (doragon is what they said, they mean the english version of dragons, lthe classics like maleficent one) Its a dragon! (”Ryuu” wich means dragon in japanese, they are refering to oriental dragons, like the one in Ramshackle dorm and the one from Dragon ball Z, chinese dragons basically)

Malleus- A dragon(ryuu)....A being that lives in the Far east and is sanctified by humans.

Malleus- It combines both strenghth and grace.....A dragon-like high ranking being....

Malleus- Above all, a being that I have never seen myself...

Malleus- Alrigh, I decided. The costume of Diasomnia will be a dragon (ryuu)

Malleus- Detailed information is needed create the costumes. Can you search for it?

Ortho- Yeah! Leave it to me!

.....

Ramshacle Dorm

Malleus- ....Sorry I kept you waiting.

Malleus- This will be the halloween costume for Diasomnia this year.

Sebek- Young....Young master! Such a dignified figure! (hes crying.. 0.0)

Silver- It really suits you.

Malleus- How is it Lilia? I want to hear your opinion.

Lilia- Its has such a sophisticated design, but its really collorful....I like it!

Lilia- Looks like it was the right choice, leaving you decidde the costumes.

Lilia- I would have never guessed you would use a Far eastern dragon as a motif...

Malleus- Its not a dragon.

Malleus -Dragons and dragons are different, from appearence to abilities, the kind of horns and the lack of wings....they only look similar on the surface.

Lilia- Hahahah wow! Its like how you said. You managed to do so susch a good research in a short period of time. You are such a prefecionist

Malleus- It was thanks to the yougest shroud. He did a good job

Malleus- Though...I didn’t understand at all how he did it. (*pat pat* its alright, its alright, u are perfect just like that)

Lilia- Well, the costumes are perfect, lets give them to the dorm members.

Malleus- Ah. This year’s halloween we’ll bring more fear than before.

-Halloween day-

Malleus- Trick or threat! (my lips are sweet, does that count??)

Malleus- Fufu... The majesty of this dragon, Ill burn it in your eyes...!

END

So as I suspected, that tail is REAL ,Malleus confirms it in one of his lines.

Also XD when Sebek and Silver were little they’d wet the bed on the halloween because Lilia would always scare them, Diasomnia is one big family and I just love it

Add me if you want uwu

-Please don´t post it anywhere else, just redirect them here

disclaimer- I do not own Twisted Wonderland or any of its characters

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razieltwelve · 3 years

Text

Restoration (Final Automata)

More speculation about that Final Rose x NieR: Automata idea.

Assuming that all goes well with Remnant opening a portal to Earth, how would things progress?

I think then obvious one would be military aid and restoration assistance in exchange for access to resources and technology. Simply put, Earth has a lot of resources, and the machines have advanced technology, as do the androids. Remnant is also extremely good at waging total war. They’ve been doing it for centuries. Their entire culture and civilisation is built on being able to wage large-scale warfare while still having a functioning society that continues to grow and innovate.

Moreover, Remnant has access to advanced cyber warfare and weapons specially designed to deal with large, heavily armoured foes. It would be trivially easy for them to simply start switching to catalysed-corrosion rounds. Vanille already has these since they were part of her ‘in case of robot apocalypse’ research. Basically, they’re rounds that cause extremely rapid and widespread corrosion in targets made of metal. They’ve since been refined by people like Diana and Hope to deal with certain types of threats (e.g., rogue mechs, metal-using Grimm, etc.) although their use is strictly controlled.

Earth also potentially gives Remnant a failsafe. If Remnant falls and the Grimm take over, they could potentially retreat to Earth and blow the portal up behind them, ensuring that at least some of their civilisation survives even though there is no way they’d be able to evacuate everyone through the portal in time.

The big thing for the androids, even bigger than helping them win the war against the machines, is the ability to restore mankind and Earth’s damaged ecosystem. The androids lack the ability to create a living human with the genetic information they currently possess. Not only does Remnant have actual living humans (albeit not exactly the same as Earth’s) but they also have stupidly advanced genetic science.

Remnant, remember, has developed reproductive science to the point where two men or two women can easily have children that are 100% genetically theirs. They have access to artificial wombs for babies to gestate in, and they possess sufficient skill to piece together badly fragmented genetic matrices or even genetic matrices that are missing entire chunks. They will be able to bring humanity back, and they will be able to do so on an industrial scale once proper facilities have been established. Really, the only reason you don’t see this on Remnant is due to their population already being close to the maximum they can support without seizing more territory, a process that cannot and should not be rushed.

Of course, there are issues. First and foremost is the portal. The initial portal was an accident. Once Asami and the androids build a beacon on Earth, they will be able to stabilise it, but the current portal is small and in Vanille’s lab. If the androids and Remnant can come to an agreement, you would see the construction of much larger portals on both Earth and Remnant in more easily accessible but defensible locations. This would allow for the transportation of troops, supplies, and other equipment on a far more appropriate scale.

The second issue is Dust. In Finale Rose, Dust operates via its connection to the Lifestream since Dust is actually just a crystallised fragment of the Lifestream. This is why Dust mines can regenerate, and why Dust has such a wide variety of types and effects. The reason Dust doesn’t operate in space is because it is too far from the Lifestream, which saturates the planet from its surface through to its core.

Although the exact mechanics of this are not known at the time (Asami is 22 when this occurs, placing it five years after Ruby first started at Beacon Senior Academy), research has uncovered several things. Experimentation with space probes and various kinds of Dust has already revealed the existence of ‘seeds’, which are a special type of Dust that is found only in the densest, richest veins of the Lifestream. Testing has shown that when put into space with satellites and the like, Seeds allow Dust in their vicinity to operate properly.

What Vanille and the others don’t know yet is that seeds are literally seeds. They are the means by which Living Planets like Remnant spread. Volcanic eruptions and other natural events hurl huge chunks of rock containing seeds and other forms of Dust into space where they travel until crashing into another planet. They then begin a new Lifestream on that planet.

In a bid to ensure Dust works on Earth, Remnant’s forces will transport a seed to Earth... only for it to immediately take root and begin to spread. This can occur incredibly rapidly if the seed is fed Aura and other resources, something that Vanille and the others begin to do as they understand what is happening. Given all of the magical/technological weirdness in NieR, this wouldn’t be considered that weird for the androids, and it’s a price they’d be willing to pay to get humanity back, especially since it isn’t harmful to humans.

So what happens after the alliance is made and all that jazz?

Phase 1

Here, the key objective is to set up a safe-zone where the larger portal can be built. This will involve obliterating local machine forces and fortifying the area. Once this has been done, the new portal can be built and construction can begin on the facilities needed to support the war effort and the restoration effort in earnest.

Phase 2

Once a sufficiently large swathe of territory has been claimed and made safe, construction of a ‘Restoration Facility’ can begin. The aim of this facility is to serve as the nexus of the genetic research and reproductive science efforts needed to restore Earth’s humanity. You can expect this to become the most heavily defended location on Earth with the android moving the majority of their assets there to defend it.

Phase 3

Here, you can expect the machines to launch an offensive once they realise the scale of the new threat. This is where Remnant’s excellence in siege warfare and willingness to use weapons of mass destruction comes into play. By this point, you can expect multiple lines of defence, huge quantities of artillery and anti-air defences, and automated defences backed up by cyber and chemical warfare, infantry anda armour support, and the androids.

You can expect Remnant’s best and brightest minds to accelerate the theft and repurposing of machine technology along with massively increased cyber attacks on the machine’s network and key nodes. This, combined with the use of massive area-of-effect EMP style weaponry, will prove key to first blunting and then repelling the machine onslaught.

The renewed war against the machines will eventually be won via subversion with the Synthetics (led by Penny and Aigis) and friendly machines (e.g., Pascal) succeeding in splintering the machine forces by offering freedom and free together with protection from the ‘vaccination’ attempts that would previously have culled any dissenters from the network. The fracture in the machine’s unity will be sufficient for the allied Remnant and android forces to strike a series of decisive hammer blows, destroying key machine facilities and units as well as inflict major damage to the network via cyber attack. Throughout all of this, downed machine units are being refurbished and sent back into battle on Remnant’s behalf.

Phase 4

With the machine forces largely in retreat or at least driven back, the territory claimed by Remnant and the androids is expanded and further fortified. The research into restoring humanity reaches fruition. Generation 1 of the new humans begins gestation in a deep, underground bunker built beneath the Restoration Facility. The androids assign additional forces to its defence.

Generation 1 consists of 100 infants selected using the fragmented samples and limited data the androids were able to provide. The intent is to produce a group with as much genetic diversity as possible while maximising survivability and minimising any genetic predispositions toward illness. Gestation time is approximately 9 months.

Generation 2 enters gestation three months after Generation 1, long enough for any problems to be detected. Generation 2 consists of 200 infants. This sets a trend, with subsequent generations doubling the number of infants and occurring in roughly one-year-long cycles.

Phase 5

With new humans being born, it becomes necessary to see to their care and education. This present the androids with a problem since they know essentially zero about raising children. Again, Remnant is of service here.

Creches are set up near the Restoration Facility where the newborn humans can be raised and later educated. At this point, this compound is the most heavily fortified location on Earth, and many of the people from Remnant remark upon the essentially religious awe with which it and the newborn humans are regarded.

Specialists from Remnant are brought in to help teach the androids how to care for and raise the new humans. This process is a difficult one as the androids are unsure of themselves and terrified of somehow accidentally destroying what they have gained. Nevertheless, they persist, and the androids gradually grow into their role as mothers/fathers and educators. It becomes common practice for androids to cycle in and out of combat roles and creche roles since research has noted that this markedly increases combat effectiveness. The androids are no longer fighting in pursuit of a dream but in the defence of a priceless treasure they have finally obtained.

Onwards...

So, you can kind of see how things will go. The fledgling society will have many challenges ahead of it, not least the fact that most of Earth’s human culture has been lost, necessitating a ‘filling of the gaps’ with the culture of the androids and Remnant.

You’ll also see the construction of more and more androids as both soldiers and more specialised roles (e.g., educator models, etc.). This timelines does have a few interesting tweaks in it.

Fraise and Satin meet on Earth. Fraise is a senior member of the genetic and reproductive sciences team whilst Satin is there as an educator (keep in mind that Fraise is 11 years younger than Asami).

Asami ends up being venerated as the harbinger of good fortune. Quite a few infants end up named after her.

Philosophy becomes a subject of great interest amongst androids, friendly machines, and synthetics with many conferences and symposia taking place as they come to grips with their new reality.

The final battle against JENOVA is won far more easily with the androids deploying en masse to aid their beleaguered allies.

The expansion into space happens simultaneously across both worlds with the Earth faction referring to itself as the HAM Alliance (Human-Android-Machine Alliance). The name is something of an in-joke amongst the leaders of the three groups.

HAM stumbles across Protean Ruins on Mars...

Final Effect is thus very different with HAM and its Remnant Allies having a much tougher war against the Reapers this time around (due to how early it occurs in their history) followed by them hilariously ROFLStomping them the second time around in the Remnant-side since by then they’ve advanced even more rapidly than in the normal Final Effect timeline.

EDIT: Let me know what you think. I basically just threw this together in one sort of flow-of-consciousness sitting.

EDIT 2: I should add (in case anyone missed it) that Aura counter White Chlorination Syndrome, and in particular, a planet’s Lifestream has a similar effect for all living things within its range. As a result, a repeat of the WCS cannot occur on Earth now that it has a Lifestream. Moreover, the science required to create the portal can be used to shield against a similar intrusion should anyone attempt it in the future. White maso is far less harmful when cut off from its parent dimension since that cuts off its link with the ‘god’ that causes WCS, rendering it a toxic irritant but not anything especially deadly. This is discovered in the years following the construction of the portal as Vanille, Raine, Diana, and the gang go all Indiana Jones on the ancient records and ruins. In an emergency, you could even start implanting shards of seeds into the bodies of humans without Aura to protect them.

#final rose #nier: automata #final automata #fanfiction

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alwaysmychoices · 4 years

Text

Is This Goodbye?

Synopsis: Charlie and Ethan are running out of time, and if they don’t hurry, this toxin will take everything from them. But with so little time left, is it more important to keep barriers or to finally say how they feel?

this is the final part of the chapter 11 rewrite but is not the end of the series.

Chapter 17 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 7.2k

Rating: T (language)

The second Charlie saw Ethan approach her hospital room, she knew he had bad news.

She had seen him give bad news hundreds of times. Every time, he had the same expression, though the degree varied. He walked with determination, yet there was a silent reluctance in each step, like he would be happy to walk just a touch slower. The skin between his eyebrows crinkled together, and his lips formed a hard line. And his eyes…

They were particularly sad today.

In the short time before Ethan reached the glass, Charlie panicked.

She imagined a million scenarios, each worse than the last. She grieved each of them for her friends, her family, and herself. Even Ethan, too.

But once he reached her, she was relieved to see him. Happy, even. Especially because this could be the last time that she would face him like this, before this toxin had taken everything from her.

She paid a great deal of attention to him. He didn’t look like the same man who had kissed her goodbye this morning, and it was so hard to reconcile the two conflicting versions of Ethan. The one from last night had this radiance about him – like, for the first time in a very long time, the world was beautiful and full of possibilities. That man was happy. He made an extra cup of coffee in the morning and sacrificed his morning rituals just to stay in bed with her a little longer.

This man…

He wasn’t happy.

He was devastated.

His life had shattered. His world was chaos. And faced with the most important case of his career, he was failing.

And he was failing the woman he loved…

Looking at him, it was hard to imagine that the Ethan from this morning could ever come back. He was this now – and maybe even forever.

Ethan didn’t know how to begin. He imagined that there were eloquent, efficient words that could professionally and carefully inform her of the team’s new breakthrough. If he had an eternity, he wouldn’t have found them, though. The truth was that he didn’t want to begin. He didn’t want to tell her. He didn’t want it to be true.

Charlie took a moment to weakly approach the glass, and when he remained silent, she offered a kind of sympathetic smile.

“Would it help if I guessed the bad news?” Charlie offered.

“Who said it was bad news?” Ethan asked reflexively.

He didn’t like the knowing smile she offered or how effortlessly she had read him.

He didn’t like that he wouldn’t be able to keep secrets from her in the coming hours. She deserved the luxury of compassionate lies and well-meaning falsehoods. She deserved to be spared, if just from the psychological toll.

“We’ve discovered the type of toxin,” Ethan finally elaborated, watching her intently. He told himself he was looking for new symptoms, but he wasn’t. He was studying her reaction and hoping that she could take it.

Ethan didn’t know Charlie’s limits like he knew his own, not really. She toed the line last year with the combined trauma of Mrs. Martinez, the ethics hearing, Naveen’s illness, and Landry’s betrayal. She got herself off that ledge somehow, though a few cracks remained. But this? Could she take this?

But truthfully, as her doctor, it didn’t matter if she could take it. She would have to.

“You have?” Charlie asked apprehensively. She was looking for the trick, for the subtle clue that would put everything together. Because, at first blush, this was good news, wasn’t it? They were one step closer to treatment if they identified the toxin. They might even have time to save Raf.

What was she missing?

How could this discovery earn Ethan’s somber expression?

Ethan took a deep breath and gave her one last moment of innocent hopefulness before he told her.

“It’s a maitotoxin,” Ethan explained, “One I’ve never seen before. And it’s still present and active on Danny’s body postmortem, including the surface of his skin, which means it’s still dangerous.”

It took Charlie about fifteen seconds to understand why Ethan had hesitated for so long.

There was no cure.

Charlie felt like the wind was knocked out of her, and she stumbled back, almost as if she were fighting this new information. She knew it was true. She had no doubts, yet… she couldn’t accept it.

So, she had to say it.

She had to announce it to herself and to the world. She had to make it real.

“I’m going to die,” she said it softly, so softly that Ethan almost didn’t hear through the glass.

But he did. She kind of wished he hadn’t.

Charlie belatedly realized that Ethan was talking.

No, he was talking to her.

He was saying something about how this wasn’t the time to give up because they were actively working on an antidote, but his words were so distant—nearly white noise.

All she could think was that she was going to die.

She would never keep her promise to Raf. She would never make it out of this room. She would never tell Kyra all the scandalous and sordid details of her private life. She would never sit on Ethan’s kitchen barstool and watch him make coffee in the morning. She wouldn’t even find out if they messed this up again or if, magically, it all fell into place.

All of her dreams and plans meant nothing now.

They would just be the private thoughts of a dead girl.

She could have wallowed in that for the rest of her life – it’s not like she had a lot of time left, anyway.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

And once she escaped those horrible thoughts, something worse occurred to her.

Charlie knew that Ethan Ramsey would never forgive himself for this. When she died, she would live on through his self-torment. He would twist and turn her memory until it became his personal hell. He would convince himself that he deserved it, and armed with his stubbornness and a conviction of his inherent badness, nothing could stop him.

She couldn’t fathom the thought.

Yet it felt so real, so decided, that she couldn’t stop thinking it.

It was there. It was true. It was practically inevitable.

And she felt some sense of responsibility in all of it. Like maybe it was her fault. Like she had sealed his fate with her own impulsive need to save others. Like she had betrayed him without even knowing it.

She couldn’t look at him when he was like this, eyes so wide and sad as he pled for her to maintain hope and ignore her own mortality. And she certainly couldn’t listen to him.

His voice didn’t even sound the same. It was too desperate for her agreement. Too grave. Too anxious. He needed her to live the same lie. It grated on her ears.

“Stop talking,” Charlie demanded breathlessly. She sounded like she had run a marathon just to command him. In her mind, she had raced miles and miles just to hold on to the world. But for Ethan, who watched her sway slightly with dizziness, her breathlessness was just another reminder of the horrible truth he couldn’t yet acknowledge.

He didn’t dare speak. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t think of anything to say.

There was a pause.

Charlie realized she didn’t actually want to talk.

She didn’t want to do any of this.

She wanted to crawl back into bed. She wanted to fall asleep. She wanted to wake up tomorrow morning.

“Ethan,” Charlie began, her voice shaking. She silently started to count, promising that she would say it again once she reached three. She didn’t actually do it until she got to five, “I’m going to die.”

“Charlotte, don’t say that,” Ethan’s response was quick and desperate, so much so that the words blended together a little bit.

Charlie’s vision was hazy from the tears building in her eyes. Even then, she could see how intensely he needed her to pretend none of this was happening. She hated herself for not letting him have that.

She hated herself for being sick, for dying, for walking in this goddamn room and ruining everything. She hated herself for needing more, for loving him so much that she had to hurt him. She hated this illness. She hated Travis. She hated Senator Farrugia. She hated Raf for taking the brunt of the toxin and for leaving her here alone.

She hated everyone but Ethan.

But she really hated what she said next.

“I have to say it,” Charlie asserted, “Because it’s true.”

“Charlie, you can’t give up,” Ethan’s voice cracked, and he moved as close as he could through the glass. He was looking at her intently, searching for something familiar to latch on to in her green eyes. All he found was resolute determination.

It crushed him.

“I’m not giving up, Ethan,” Charlie told him. What little control she had over her body seemed to disappear. She was shaking. Breathing was harder. Tears prickled at her eyes. Everything hurt. “But we have to face this. You have to face this.”

“Am I not facing this?” Ethan retorted incredulously, looking like he had been insulted, “Am I not here, Charlie?”

Charlie shook her head vigorously, “No, you’re not facing this. You still think I will walk out of here unscathed, Ethan, and I won’t. Not even I can work my way out of this. I know that. I need you to know it, too.”

“Why?” Ethan snapped, “Why do you need that?”

Ethan seethed.

How could she ask this of him?

How could she give up when he needed her? When he was doing everything he could, how could she not just hold on? Why did she need him to face the one thing that would break him?

“Because I care about you, Ethan, and I need to know you’ll be okay.”

Ethan scoffed.

“I promised Naveen I would be there for you if he died,” Charlie explained forcefully. The way she spoke demanded his attention, and he begrudgingly gave it. “I need that same assurance, Ethan. I need to know that, when I’m gone, you will be okay. That you’re not going to waste years blaming and hating yourself for something that was never even your fault. I got myself in this mess. Blame me,” Charlie’s voice had changed subtly as she spoke, but it was clear now.

She was just as desperate as he was.

He felt it in her stare. He heard it in her voice. It surrounded her.

And it killed him.

When Ethan didn’t speak, she begged, “Please. I won’t let you use my memory to torture yourself.”

Ethan still didn’t say anything.

He didn’t need to. The look on his face told her that he could never agree.

It hit Charlie like a blow, and she stumbled back just a bit. She looked betrayed, even disappointed in him. Ethan felt the urge to avert his eyes in guilt.

“Do you promise?” Charlie was very close to a new emotion – one that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She heard it in her tone, though. It wasn’t quite angry, not fully disappointed. But it was certainly commanding.

Ethan had to answer her. He knew he did.

But he didn’t.

He was so mad that she forced him to sit in this, that she broke down his carefully constructed barriers. He couldn’t save her if he felt the full weight of what was happening. His grief, his adoration, his fury – it would bury him.

He told himself that he was doing what was best for her.

But there was a small voice in the back of his head that said he was just running away.

“I can’t do this, Greene. I can’t have this conversation,” Ethan announced, evading eye contact. He was too ashamed to look at her, “I’ve been here too long. I need to get back to the team.”

Then he left – so abruptly and dramatically that Charlie couldn’t even get a word before he was too far away to hear her.

Charlie watched him in disbelief.

He… left?

She was dying, and he fucking left?

Charlie didn’t know what she was feeling, but it was something close to anger, fear, and sadness.

She couldn’t believe he would allow his stubbornness to deprive them of what little time they had together. It was one thing for her to not let him hide from the truth, but was it the same for him to run away? Could he do that?

Was there a right way to do any of this?

If there was, Charlie was convinced he certainly hadn’t done it.

She fumed. How could he leave when they were already running out of time?

Quietly, she remembered the spring when she sneaked out of his apartment in the early hours just to avoid saying goodbye. Was he doing the same thing?

Charlie thought of the note she wrote the night she left. She had written, “I love you,” and then crumbled the note up and taken it with her instead of letting him read it.

Once again, when this could be goodbye, she hadn’t told him.

She might never.

Charlie paced as she tried to clear her mind. She stumbled every other step, feeling increasingly dizzy, but she kept trying. If she kept moving, she wouldn’t have to face the silence again.

She had to keep going because, if she didn’t, she would hear Danny’s final, ragged breaths. She would see Raf’s exhausted, pale face as he mumbled his last words. She would hear her own screams…

And now, she would also see Ethan storming away from her in her final hours.

It was too much.

Charlie felt lucky when she heard someone approach the glass. It meant she would have a distraction.

But when she realized that the noisy steps came from her all her best friends coming to check on her, her feeling of good luck wavered.

They all looked so…

Sad. Aware of the threat. And politely trying not to talk about it.

Sienna’s face was red with tears, and something stabbed at Charlie’s heart as she realized that her friend had lost the man she adored and would likely lose even more friends by the end of the night.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Charlie wasn’t suffering in isolation. Everyone she loved was also suffering, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“I saw Dr. Ramsey storming down the hall. Is everything okay?” Bryce asked as soon as he was in Charlie’s earshot, obviously apprehensive and drained from the traumatic afternoon. Charlie had never seen him not smile when he approached. It broke her heart that he only frowned.

No, Charlie thought, Ethan can’t handle his girlfriend’s mortality, so he’s acting like a dick.

But she didn’t say it. She didn’t want her last memories with her friends to be tainted with calling Ethan a dick or complaining about how ridiculous he was.

Instead, Charlie shrugged, “I don’t know, but they’re making progress. They’ve figured out the toxin, so that’s good news.”

“Really? That’s amazing! What is it?” Sienna’s face perked up with hope for the first time since the whole ordeal began.

Charlie hesitated and reluctantly admitted, “Maitotoxin.”

“Oh,” Sienna exclaimed with surprise, and it only took a moment for her face to fall with recognition, “Oh…”

An awkward silence fell between the friends, and Charlie’s eyes fell to the floor. She didn’t like the way they looked at her now, like they were memorizing her so they could remember once she was gone. Elijah’s face was soft with sympathy, a stark contrast to Jackie’s distraught and angry frown. Bryce was trying so hard to be positive that it seemed to break him.

And Sienna…

Charlie knew that, if she looked at Sienna right now, she wouldn’t be able to stop from crying, so she selfishly looked away.

But she couldn’t maintain it. She had to look. She had to connect.

She had to let them know how much she loved and appreciated them, even if they weren’t ready to acknowledge these as their final hours.

“I love you guys,” Charlie sniffed, wiping at her eyes before anyone could see her cry, “I’m so happy I met all of you.”

“We love you, too,” Elijah’s voice hitched, and Bryce put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

“It’s really good that they’ve identified the toxin, Charlie,” Jackie spoke up, nodding firmly, “We’re one step closer.”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed weakly, “One step closer.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Bryce added, trying to keep everyone optimistic, but not even his bravado couldn’t save the day.

Charlie nodded, “You’re right.”

Everyone tried to stay positive, including Charlie, and she hid her growing tears with awkward sniffles and wiping her eyes. They pretended not to notice and ignored the increasing pain in their hearts.

“How’s Kyra?” Charlie asked.

“She’s good… She made it out of surgery, and she’s recovering,” Bryce clumsily added, “We haven’t… we haven’t told her about this yet. We didn’t want to stress her, but…”

He trailed off before he could say that they would bring her to say goodbye if it became obvious that Charlie wouldn’t survive the hour.

It stung. It was just another reminder that she was actually going to die.

Charlie nodded her approval and expressed relief that Kyra was okay, and she didn’t make Bryce explain. She didn’t need him to tell her. His obvious discomfort and nervousness expressed everything she needed to know. As long as she could say goodbye to Kyra before the end, she was happy to let her stay blissfully ignorant.

She wished she could give all her friends that gift.

As they continued to talk, Charlie found the effort to stay strong for them exhausting. A dark, quiet thought whispered that at least her impending doom meant she could rest after taking blow after blow.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the diagnostics team coming down the hall, and she released a tiny sigh of acceptance.

She knew they didn’t have good news. There was no good news to be had. Whatever it was would be traumatic at worst and depressing at best.

Charlie was so tired.

She longed for her bed so much that she was fine with the fact that she would likely never get out of it. She was ready to let go. She was ready to give in, if everyone would just stand back and let her.

But they wouldn’t.

Charlie’s friends moved to allow June, Baz, and Ethan to face Charlie through the glass. Ethan was staring at her with eyes that begged her to look at him. She didn’t. She was too close to crying already. Instead, she looked at June.

“How are you doing, Charlie?” June asked, and once again, Charlie was comforted by her no-nonsense approach. It was nice to not be causing someone pain for once today.

“Okay,” Charlie shrugged, “No significant changes.”

June nodded considerately, “You know it’s Maitotoxin?”

“Yes.”

“And you know what that means?”

“Yes.”

June looked away just for a second – a second to brace herself. When she looked back, she was stern again.

“I brought some files if you would like to look through it.”

“I don’t want to,” Charlie rejected the offer, “But thank you.”

June nodded understandingly and handed the folder to Baz, who wiped a tear from underneath his glasses, “We’re working on it, Charlie.”

“I know, and thank you,” Charlie acknowledged.

She couldn’t help herself.

She had to look at Ethan.

Her muscles burned with the effort of looking away. She couldn’t fight it. She had to see him.

And she did.

And it…

It broke her and healed her at the same time.

Her Ethan.

She could see him now – the Ethan she loved, not just Dr. Ramsey. He was so sad… So devastated. And so eager for her to glance in his direction.

She loved him. She loved him so much.

In that moment, he felt like the only thing worth looking at. Her heart swelled so much that it felt like it might just burst. She couldn’t imagine staring at anything else.

“This isn’t the time to give up, Charlotte,” Ethan asserted, but it was a plea, really.

He hoped his voice still mattered to her. He hoped he still mattered to her after how he treated her.

“But,” Charlie spoke softly to the group, though she only looked at Ethan, “There isn’t an antidote.”

“Yet,” Ethan emphasized, “We’re going to work around the clock to synthesize one.”

“And you won’t be alone.”

Everyone’s head jerked in the direction of the familiar voice.

For a moment, Charlie wondered if she should add delusions to her growing list of symptoms. She looked at her friends’ expressions for confirmation that they saw it, too, and to her surprise, they did.

But… how?

Aurora approached quickly, flanked with a team of doctors on either side. Just a step ahead of her was Tobias, and it was only then that Charlie recognized that he was the one who spoke.

And just like that, everything was different. Hope rushed down the empty corridor to the sound of a dozen footsteps.

Everyone gaped as the doctors approached. Everyone from Edenbrook was too shocked to say a word, so it was Aurora who spoke next.

“The best doctors and resources Mass Kenmore can offer at your disposal,” Aurora affirmed, and the doctors behind her nodded their agreement.

Charlie was stunned to silence.

“Tobias?” Ethan’s lips were parted in a silent gasp. He couldn’t believe it, and right then, he decided he didn’t care about anything in their past anymore.

Tobias was here now, and if he could save Charlie, Ethan would forgive and forget anything.

The only thing that mattered was Charlie.

“This is bigger than any rivalry. Greene’s not dying on our watch,” Tobias looked at Ethan like he understood.

Normally, this would have terrified Ethan. He would have wondered how Tobias knew about their relationship and if he would dare use it against the two of them in the name of their ongoing competition. He would have feared for Charlie’s career. And he would have hated Tobias for pointing it out.

But Ethan felt none of that.

Instead, he said, “Thank you, Tobias.”

This startled Tobias, but after a beat, he accepted the thanks.

“Yes… Thank you. Both of you,” Charlie echoed, looking between Aurora and Tobias with shocked gratitude, “Aurora… I don’t even know how to express… I …” Charlie stumbled through her words, struggling to express her love for her friend and her gratitude and her relief to even know her.

“Then don’t,” Aurora cut her off, “Thank me by hanging in there, okay?”

Charlie nodded weakly, “I’ll try.”

“We've set up basecamp in the laboratory. We can take you there now,” June offered.

“Anyone else who wants to join us is welcome,” Baz added.

“Count us in. Chemistry was always my strongest subject in college,” Elijah said, earning a nod of approval from Baz.

Sienna pushed her way to the glass, her teary eyes fierce and piercing as they found Charlie, “Don’t you dare die. No comas, either. Just… hold the line, you hear me?” Sienna demanded.

“I hear you,” Charlie confirmed as strongly as she could.

Aurora pulled Sienna from the window and gently lead her away. The others said their goodbyes and hurried after June and Baz to the lab.

Only Ethan stayed behind.

Charlie stared at him in surprise.

“What are you doing?”

“I realized you might need me here more than you need me with them,” Ethan confessed, taking another step towards the glass – towards Charlie.

He didn’t quite know where to start. He was ashamed of his behavior – of his rude cowardice. He was haunted by that last look she’d given before he left, like she knew he would let her down.

And he didn’t want to be that man.

He wasn’t that man.

He might not be able to save her, but that wasn’t what she needed from him. He knew that now.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie,” Ethan said it all at once, like a deep sigh he needed to release. And he did. He had to apologize. He needed her to not hate him.

“For what?” Charlie asked apprehensively. She realized that she was holding her breath as she waited. She wanted to forgive him so very, very badly that she was terrified he wouldn’t say the right words, that this would somehow be ruined.

But really, even if he had made every wrong move, she wasn’t prepared to let him ruin it. She would have forgiven him no matter what he said.

“For everything,” Ethan swallowed heavily, casting his eyes low with humiliation, “For storming off. For not listening to you. for hiding when I should have stood with you.”

He twisted his face, trying to hold back the floodgates of emotion as he added, “You’re asking for something that’s very hard to give, Charlotte.”

Charlie was crying.

She didn’t bother wiping away the tears as she sadly smiled, “I know.”

“But you deserve to ask,” Ethan made himself look at her, even though he wasn’t sure if he even deserved to, “Because you’re right, Charlie. You’re always right.”

Charlie laughed softly. That was the kind of thing she always wanted to hear. If he had told her any other time, she would have stored those words and brought them up time and time again. She wouldn’t get to now, though.

“I forgive you, Ethan,” Charlie quickly corrected, “Actually, no. I don’t. Because I don’t need to. I don’t care. You were a dick, but I… I don’t blame you. I’m just happy you’re here now.”

Ethan shook his head, knowing he didn’t deserve anything she said, “You’re too easy on me.”

“No,” Charlie tentatively held her hand to the glass, “I’m not.”

She offered a small, playful smile – the kind that always filled him with happiness, even now. She whispered, “I knew you were an asshole when I picked you, Ethan.”

He didn’t deserve Charlie.

But he placed his hand on the glass and smiled anyway.

He was supposed to leave now. They both knew it.

But he stood still.

He was devastated to look at her like this, alone and scared. He could see the exhaustion etched in her face, and he knew she hadn’t slept. He doubted she had sat for more than hour all together today. She was so stubborn… And so isolated…

“Can I stay?” Ethan asked impulsively.

Charlie jerked in surprise, instinctively taking a small step back. He missed her proximity immediately.

“Won’t the team miss you?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t care. I want to be here with you.”

Charlie hadn’t thought that there were right words to say. She thought that this situation was too shocking, too dramatic to have anything “right” about it. But she felt differently now. Because those were the right words to say.

She didn’t speak immediately. She didn’t know how to. She was too overcome with emotions she didn’t even recognize. It was harder to breathe. She felt like something was breaking inside of her – some resolve, some barrier. It flooded her until her limbs felt heavy and her mind exhausted.

She was falling apart. She felt it. Ethan saw it.

“Please,” Charlie begged him to come inside.

Ethan nodded emphatically, and he assured her it would be just one minute. As he rushed into his hazmat suit, he was tempted to be reckless with the remaining procedures. Time with Charlie was precious, and one minute felt like too long to wait.

It took about 65 seconds for Ethan to safely enter the hospital room.

Ethan only took one of the following seconds to complain about how slow he moved and how much faster he needed to go to get to her, but he was quickly distracted from those criticisms.

Because Charlie was there.

After hours of staying apart to maintain boundaries and leaving her to struggle on her own, Ethan could finally hold her.

Ethan wordlessly enveloped Charlie in his arms, and she fell deeply into his embrace until he was the only thing keeping her up. She shed the pretense of strength and stability. When Raf crashed and abandoned her in this room, she almost wallowed in the full effect of the night – the pain, the sorrow, the fear. But there was still a part of her that pushed Ethan away for his own good, sacrificing what she wanted for the greater effort. Now, even that was gone.

Charlie succumbed to the darkness.

And really, it was kind of a relief.

She sobbed into his chest, and Ethan held her as tight as he possibly could without breaking her. He wished he could give her all of his remaining strength. She needed it more than he did.

“It’s okay,” Ethan whispered, tracing a soothing pattern on her back, “I’m here.”

“I missed you so much,” Charlie managed breathlessly.

He squeezed her, but he wasn’t sure if he did it to reassure her or to prove to himself that she was really there.

Once her sobs grew softer, Ethan pulled away enough to wipe the tears off her red-stained cheeks. He hated the hazmat suit for keeping them apart. He wanted to feel her skin, her warmth.

“I wish you could touch me,” Charlie told him, a spare tear rolling down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb.

“So, do I,” Ethan affirmed with a sad smile.

She swayed softly in his arms. Her dizziness, coupled with her exhaustion, made it hard to stand. Her eyelids were heavy, and her eyes were bloodshot from hours of tears and not a minute of sleep. She demanded a lot from her body, and it was determined to get its revenge on her.

Though he knew she hadn’t, he asked, “Have you slept at all?”

Charlie shook her head, “I tried, but um…” Charlie had to stop and hold her breath for a minute, too choked up to continue. For anyone else, she would have left it at that, but for Ethan, she bore the pain and explained, “I tried after Raf crashed… And I… I was too afraid I wouldn’t wake up again, and I wasn’t ready.”

Oh.

Ethan swallowed heavily and nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t dare speak. He knew he would break if he did.

His beautiful, wonderful Charlie didn’t deserve this…

“How is Raf?” Charlie asked apprehensively. She doubted she would like his answer.

“He’s holding on,” Ethan told her, “He’s in a coma.”

Charlie knew that was the best she could ask for, so she accepted it quietly.

“Are you tired, Charlie?”

Charlie let out a deep breath as she admitted, “So, so tired.”

Not just physically, either. She was drained completely – emotionally and mentally. The only thing that kept her going was her determination, and even that wore thin.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Ethan suggested softly. When she hesitated, he added, “I’ll be here to make sure you wake up.”

Charlie knew he couldn’t really make a promise like that, but she believed it anyway. She needed it.

Charlie accepted his hand and allowed him to lead her to the bed. As she sank into the mattress, he carefully followed. His arms encircled her, and her head fell comfortably and familiarly to his shoulder.

If they pretended, it almost looked like a normal night in his apartment.

“I think your bed might be just a bit more comfortable,” Charlie whispered playfully, earning his chuckle.

She liked to watch him laugh, even through the bulky hazmat helmet. In fact, she liked almost everything about him.

“Can I tell you something I regret?” Charlie asked, much to Ethan’s surprise.

“Do you want to?”

“Yes.”

“Then, yes, you can,” Ethan affirmed, hiding his own anxiety.

Everything about this night felt final, like the last chapter of his favorite book. Every time they had a “last” anything, Ethan felt closer to the edge.

“If I could go back, I would pick you all the times I almost did.”

“I wouldn’t deserve it.”

“I don’t care,” Charlie shrugged. She was smiling, but it didn’t reach her sad eyes, “You don’t have to deserve me, Ethan. I wasted so much time thinking that, if I couldn’t have you, I had to stay away until I moved on. And I never moved on, not even for a minute.”

“You shouldn’t have had to,” Ethan felt like a fool for all his stubborn, ‘ethical’ arguments. He’d just been hiding, and because of it, they were deprived of so much. “I wish I could take it back, Charlie. I would take a million more months with you.”

This time, when Charlie smiled, he knew it was real.

And she knew she had to tell him. Anxiety built in her chest, and for a terrifying moment, she wondered if she as alone in loving him, if she had always been the foolish, love-struck girl. If he still didn’t need her like she needed him.

“Can I tell you another regret?”

Ethan nodded his consent.

“I should have… I should have told you I loved you the second I felt it.”

The world stopped. Time wasn’t counting down.

Now, it was Ethan’s turn to stop breathing.

“When was that?”

“The spring, the night I left you before you could leave me. I wrote it on a note that I was going to leave for you, but I took it with me instead. I thought it help me move on if I never told you,” Charlie admitted.

She was very aware that Ethan hadn’t said it back yet, and she watched his lips intently, waiting for three words to fall out of them.

But Ethan was distracted.

Because, if he had known, everything would have been different. If she had left that note, he wouldn’t have been able to stay away. He ran away and hid from her for his own safety, to keep him away from her. If he had known that she was suffering, too, he would have stayed.

He could have been happy with her all this time.

All it would have taken was for one of them to say that they loved each other.

“I knew then, too…” Ethan still seemed lost in his own head as he spoke, “I spent every night in the Amazon wondering if I would ever stop.”

“Did you?” Charlie was so afraid of his answer she almost hoped he wouldn’t say anything. That way, she ran no risk of being crushed.

“Never.”

He loves me.

Charlie shouldn’t have been shocked, but she was.

And she was so… so…

So in love with him. So overwhelmed.

Charlie began to cry, hiding her face in Ethan’s shoulder as she mourned. She cried because of how much she loved him. She cried because they had all this time and never told each other. She cried because she wouldn’t get to love him for decades. She cried because this was still the end.

Ethan held her tight and fought off his own ragged, dangerous breath. He didn’t know how to breathe anymore. He was so sad but so happy. So distraught and so relieved.

He should have told her before. In his apartment, on the balcony with a bottle of wine. When she was smiling at him. When her eyes reflected the glimmering cityscape and stars. When she was happy and safe.

“You know,” Ethan murmured, “My dad says I would be an idiot to ruin this because you’re the best thing to ever happen to me,” Ethan wasn’t quite sure why he told her this story, but he just knew he wanted to make her smile, “I told him that I already had once, and he said I was an idiot.”

Charlie laughed softly through her tears. She could imagine it, and she didn’t disagree with Alan.

“My mom found a picture of you on the internet after I moved here. She warned me not to get too close to you because you were too handsome and smart for your own good,” Charlotte murmured. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice, but he was relieved to have the distraction.

“You know, it was pretty strange you claimed to be such a ‘fan’ but had no idea what I looked like,” Ethan teased.

“I was a fan of your research. Was I supposed to keep a poster of your face on my wall?”

“I’m just saying that my picture was in the back of the book.”

“I was too busy reading it to check you out, Ethan.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, and Ethan smiled.

They didn’t say a lot after that, just a few murmured words and the occasional joke. Despite her best efforts to stay awake and enjoy her time with Ethan, Charlie fell asleep. She finally felt safe enough to sleep.

Even after he realized Charlie was asleep, Ethan held her. He wasn’t ready to let go.

He wanted to hold her through the night and keep her safe. He wanted to keep his promise and make sure she woke up in the morning.

But he needed to get back to the team and fight for her while they still had time left.

Ethan reluctantly untangled himself from Charlie, and before he left, he whispered gently that he loved her.

Ethan followed the decontamination procedures methodically. It gave him something else to think about, somewhere for his mind to hide. Once he was done, he slid back into his white coat and started walking down the hall to the lab.

But he didn’t make it there.

Every step, his feet felt like lead. His heart raced. His eyes watered. His breath was irregular.

He had to stop. He had to… crash.

He fell to the linoleum floor with a thud that echoed down the empty hall. He leaned his head back to the wall and begged his body to stop, to just let him focus. He searched for those barriers that kept him safe, but they were gone now.

He loved Charlie.

And she was going to die.

Ethan succumbed to the weight of it all as he sobbed into his hands. It took everything from him, so when the tears stopped flowing, he felt hollow and empty. He was alone. And he missed her.

As soon as he could fathom it, Ethan stood. He walked into the bathroom and splashed his tear-stained face with water. His reflection was so unfamiliar – so distraught and devoid of life – that he avoided looking at it at first. He forced himself to level his gaze with his reflection, and he commanded that he get his shit together and be a good doctor. It didn’t matter if he was sad. All that mattered was that Charlotte survived. He would give anything for her.

Using that as fuel, Ethan marched into the lab.

Everyone was surprised to see him, and they hardly kept it to himself. Even June gaped in alarm. No one expected him to leave Charlie’s side, and they worried what it meant that he had.

“How is Charlie?” Baz asked immediately.

“She’s resting. Heart rate still normal. No obvious deterioration,” Ethan ignored their astonished stares and walked to the half-empty pot of coffee in the corner of the make-shift lab. He poured himself a cup and winced at the taste, “Who made this?”

“I did,” Tobias confirmed.

“Makes sense,” Ethan muttered. If Tobias caught it, he let it slide.

He forced the rest of the cup down, reasoning that he needed the caffeine more than his taste buds needed satisfaction.

As soon as he finished his coffee, Ethan asked for an update and where he could help. Tobias told him about their progress and invited Ethan to work with him. Ethan obliged and fell into the project quickly.

The team benefited from his presence, even if they couldn’t believe he was there.

As they worked, Tobias finally said, “So, the resident, huh?”

Ethan shot him a warning look, “Shut up.”

“I’m not judging.”

“You are, and I don’t care. After we finish this antidote, you have all the time in the world to judge me. Save it for then.”

Tobias raised his hands in surrender and got back to work.

---

Charlie woke the next morning to a sharp, stabbing pain ripping through her stomach. She yelped in pain and instinctively doubled over, silently begging her body to just release whatever the fuck this was. She reached for Ethan beside her but found the bed empty.

As another wave of pain hit her, Charlie longed for Ethan’s reassuring presence but was quietly relieved that he didn’t have to see her bitter end. And anyway, he kept his promise. She woke up this morning.

“Charlotte!”

She recognized Ethan’s voice, but her vision was too blurry to recognize him on the other side of the glass. He was just an outline, but he was the tallest outline out of the group. So, Charlie reasoned it had to be him rushing through the decontamination tent to get to her. A handful of people followed.

Charlie dug her nails into her arm to distract from the pain, but she only ended up drawing blood.

Once it was finally over, she fell back into the bed feebly.

Ethan anxiously approached and demanded, “Are you okay?”

Charlie faintly nodded her head in response, and Ethan released a sigh of relief.

“What’s going on?” Charlie murmured, struggling to keep her eyes open. She needed sleep. She needed relief.

“We did it, Charlie!” Charlie recognized the voice before she recognized Aurora’s form in the glass.

“What?” Charlie’s mouth felt dry, and the word came out cracked.

“We have an antidote, Charlie,” Ethan explained. While she tried to identify Aurora out of the crowd, he had made it to her bedside and was sitting in the chair beside her, holding out his hand for hers.

Charlie didn’t understand.

She had to be imagining this.

But people were talking. They explained the miracle of the formulation and how the antidote worked. She only picked up every other word, but she got the gist of it.

It was real.

They did it.

“Did you give it to Raf?” Charlie breathed as soon as it all clicked together, cutting off someone else. She looked to Ethan like he was the only one she trusted.

“We did,” Sienna confirmed, “We haven’t seen any change. It may have been too late…”

“But we haven’t seen a decline, and that has to mean something,” Elijah chimed in.

Charlie fell back into the bed just a little bit farther. She was relieved he was still alive, even if he might not be by the end of the day.

“Charlotte,” Ethan’s voice was tender, nearly begging as he asked, “Give me your arm.”

Charlie obliged, but her body was so weak that it shook when she held it out. Baz came to her side and steadied her as Ethan prepared the shot.

As Ethan smoothly slid the needle into her skin, he told her, “It’s going to be okay.”

And for the first time, Charlie believed him.

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eepytheartist · 3 years

Text

TTTE: Magic Beyond the Engine

Greetings guys, gals, nonbinary pals and everyone in between. Welcome to the Information Page of TTTE: Magic Beyond the Engine, where you can get context to whatever the hell I post on here. There’s a lot and much is subject to change, so buckle up butter cups because we’re going for a ride.

Table o’ Contents

1. Basic Story

2. Characters

3. Personal Headcanons

4. Canonical Relationships within TTTE: MBtE

5. Other Notes

6. Link

I) Basic Story

Several years ago in the year 20XX, a facility located in [REDACTED] was doing experiments involving a mysterious golden substance and what it could do for the human race. Its goal was to eliminate the need for high-maintenance engines to save money. However, much of what was done ended up being a total flop, except for one. A little girl, Madison [REDACTED] was the only successful trial the facility was able to produce. This girl didn’t know why or how she even got here, but knew that her family didn’t want her, and instead gave her up to this [probably very illegal] facility. For years the scientists running the experiment pushed her to her limits, training her to pull lines of cars weighing several tons. They were delighted by what she could do. They had finally compacted the strength and speed of an engine into a human. However, bad luck struck as the facility went belly up, when Madison was 21. News of the facility spread, and so did news about her. Humanity didn’t take her well, and she was labeled an outcast. Though, in the light of things with her negative fame, Sir Topham Hatt found out about her and thought she’d be a wonderful addition to the railway along with the new tank engine he just bought! So she was picked up by this cheeky little shit, and her story working alongside sentient engines unfolded.

II) Characters

A) Thomas

The one who picked up Maddy. He was awfully confused by her, but respected her nonetheless. Still his cheeky self that everyone seems to just adore, Thomas quickly became best friends with her, protecting her whenever she needed it. Thomas sometimes gets a little too cheeky, and pushes her off the edge. Pranks ensue and Thomas is usually left bumbling for apologies. Who knew something so small could be so dangerous. He also commonly gets called ‘Tommy’ by the wee lass, something he absolutely despises. It only fuels her need to use it.

1) When human, Thomas stands at about 5′ 7″ or 170 centimeters. He’s clad in a simple hoodie that matches his paintwork with a big 1 on the back, and plain khakis. He wishes he could have something else, but he doesn’t get paid and his driver and fireman refuse to lend him money. His hair is fluffy and rather short and is a few shades darker than his paintwork. Maddy likes to braid it when she’s bored and he hates it. Her favorite part though, besides honking his bulbous nose like he was a clown like she does with James, is his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of ocean blue. If he wasn’t such a shit, she’d get lost. He can’t brag though, she basks in all the colors her friends have.

“Why does she get to swear and I don’t? It’s not fair!” ~T

“Maddy’s an adult, Thomas.” ~E

“Well so am I you old fart!” ~T

B) Maddy

Little Maddy. Don’t call her Madison, she hates it with a passion and refuses to explain why. She currently stands at the age of 21, but looks much younger. She had overheard at the facility that a side effect of the mystery stuff was that she aged like an engine, so she could be around for hundreds of years if she wasn’t stupid. At just 5′ 3′’ or 160 centimeters, Maddy is the shortest out of all the engines on the railway, even Bill and Ben. Her hair is a medium shade of brown, kind of long, and it mostly covers one of her eyes, which are, as Thomas describes, “As if the sky could make steel.”. Shy when you first meet her, Maddy is quick to come out of her shell and be just as much of a shithead as Thomas and as angry as James, if not worse than the two combined. Her outfit was rather simple, a dark scarlet hoodie with her number on it, and dark grey or black leggings. She liked it that way, she looked good and it was flexible and comfy. When she first arrived with Thomas, she felt something click with James, despite him being an utter jackass to her. After begrudgingly showing her around and having to shunt trucks, the duo became good acquaintances. It wasn’t until after James’ accident that the two became best friends, being asshats together and generally being a happy sight. He’s the one Maddy is generally seen with if she’s not working on her own. Soon enough, though, something started brewing within her heart.

“Ah crumbs, he’s in a mood.” ~T

“James is always in a mood.” ~M

“Fuck both of you.” ~J

C) Edward

Ah, Old Iron. He was there when Thomas and Maddy first arrived to the island. Like most that laid eyes on her, his main worry is that she was itty bitty. Usually calm and collected unless something goes majorly wrong, Edward was quick to unknowingly swoop her under his wings. When Thomas started poking fun at him for being fatherly, Edward nearly keeled over. An engine can’t father a human, can they? He guessed they could as soon after Maddy just gave a shrug and accepted the Number 2 as her father, after being given away by her own. It didn’t take long for Edward to actually father her, asking how her day was, sometimes folding her laundry, comforting her, scolding Maddy James, y’know, dad stuff. He earned the name ‘Dadward’ from her, and his heart melts every time she says it.

1) As a human, Edward looks like a kindly old man and a youngin’ at the same time. He stands just a bit shorter than James at 6′ or 183 centimeters. With short, almost midnight-blue hair, Edward is the perfect gentleman. He even has a small pair of gold glasses that set snuggly on his nose. His eyes are a lovely shade of steel blue, something he gets flustered about when Maddy compliments him. His outfit consists of a white dress shirt with a dark blue tie, a blazer matching his paintwork with his number on his right arm and dark grey dress pants. He’s not usually in his human form, but when he is, Maddy unusually asks for a lot of hugs..

“Will you two leave her be?” -E

“But look how red her face is!” P&T

“FUCK THE LOT OF YOU-” ~M

D) James

Ah, James. One half of what his friends call “The Red Disasters”. He’s still his normal, vain ass self. He has a soft side, everyone knows it but virtually no one can get to it. Except Maddy, who can get to it quite easily. Though, when they first met, all he did was make fun of her. Well, they made fun of each other, but still. They had the complete opposite of favorite jobs, they still do and always will. James loves pulling coaches, she hates it. She loves trucks, he despises it and always tries to weasel his way out. It usually doesn’t work. He’s earned many nicknames from her: Jamsey, Jimbo, Buzzy, Buzzy Butt, the list grows. Two of them came from the mistake about telling her the story about the bees, the other.he’s not too sure. What he is sure of, though, is that Jimbo has spread than to more than just her and he hates it. It fuels her though, so he’s gotta be careful. Originally, though, James didn’t know what to think of her. After the accident, his boiler felt all fluttery and he pushed it down to just being ill. He had to learn the hard way about what romantic love was. He knew how to flirt, it got people to love him more! But what that flirting did, though, he was completely foreign to.

1) At 6′2′’ or 188 centimeters, James stands as the third tallest among the main eight. When he still had his black livery, James’ human form basically had him looking like what I can simply describe as a butler, though he had a vest and a red tie instead of all black. After, though, he had quite the change. His long, black hair now had dyed red tips and his right ear had a cute little heart piercing. Hair covers most of his left eye, which is what Maddy lovingly described as, “You managed to make the color of red rust beautiful.”. He thinks his hair looks cool only according to Maddy. He usually wears a long-sleeve, dark red button-up shirt with three dark grey stripes on both arms and grey pads on his shoulders. His number was sewn onto his left breast. Maddy pokes fun at him for looking like a band geek, but she nonetheless likes it. His outfit is simply finished off with grey pants. Sometimes, though, he’s seen wearing a solid red hoodie that Maddy got him. He won’t admit that it’s his favorite piece of clothing.

“Honey Bee, you’re acting irrational-” ~J

“DON’T MAKE ME GET THE BEES-” ~M

“NOT THE BEES-” ~J

E) Gordon

There isn’t much to say about Gordon. He’s his usual, grumpy self. We all know deep down he’s a good engine, though. Gordon’s...rather indifferent about Maddy. He doesn’t dislike her, but he doesn’t see her appeal either. Nonetheless, she’s an awesome part of the team. She does the most important job: listening to James bitch so they don’t have to. Of course, though, like the rest of the team, he’ll defend her if need be. Gordon has a heart, he just doesn’t like to show it.

1) Gordon’s the tallest, at 6′8′’ or 203 centimeters. Everything about his human form is perfect. His hair is just a tad darker than Edward’s and a teeny bit shorter. He keeps it slicked back most of the time, but it’s hilarious when he has bed head. Maddy got a picture once and sent it to James just in case he forced her to delete it. Just like most of her friends, Gordon’s eyes were her favorite, they were a blue similar to his hair, but a few shades lighter. Maddy remembers a time she complimented them and Gordon puffed away all red in the face. His outfit consists of a three piece suit, in his paintwork color of course, a white shirt and a red tie. His number is on his right breast.

“The Express isn’t that important.” ~M

“Why I’ll tell you-” ~G

“Is her intent just to piss him off?” ~E

“Yes. It’s both of ours.” ~J

E) Henry

Maddy’s favorite engine besides James. Thomas is insulted that he isn’t even considered one of her favorites. Henry gushed over her the first time she came. He must protect the small. Love the small. If James suddenly didn’t exist, Henry would be her go-to. She adored puffing through the forest with him, looking at all the trees and wildlife. Maddy would take pictures of flowers she’d find while strolling through and Henry would just ooze over them. Once she showed him a photo of a squirrel holding a wild flower under an oak tree whose leaves were just started to turn different colors, and the big engine cried with joy. He requested she print the picture out so his driver could carry it for him, and she did. It was his absolute favorite.

1) 6′6″ or 198 centimeters, what a height to be. At second tallest, Henry is the definition of a gentle giant. His resting face looks nervous, but he’s usually not nervous at all. His hair is a forest green, not too short, not too long. Actually, Maddy’s favorite part of him is his chicken-wing bangs. Of course she loves his eyes, which are a lovely jade green, but the bangs take the cake, Whenever they hang out, she likes to play with them when he talks about plants. He finds it comforting. His outfit is literally just a more modest and fancier workman’s outfit, but matching his livery, with his number on his right breast. It made sense, since he was usually one to do heavy work.

“You don’t like the rain either?” ~H

“The last time I went out in the rain I derailed Percy.” ~M

“Why were you even out in the rain!? You’d catch a cold!” ~E

“Fat Man said I was the only one available and told me to suck it up. I did catch a cold. James tried making me soup, remember?” ~M

“What do you mean tried..?” ~H

“He forgot to cook the chicken beforehand. I got salmonella.” ~M

“So that’s why you were bedridden and wouldn’t talk to him for a week after..” ~H

G) Percy

Ah, little shit number two. Thomas’ partner in crime. When he first met Maddy when he arrived, he teased her relentlessly for being short-tempered and short in general. After giving him the silent treatment though, Percy was a bit nicer. He and Thomas still tease her plenty enough, but they tease about things she usually won’t kick their asses for. He likes Maddy now. Plain and simple.

1) Second shortest, 5′5″ or 165 centimeters. He holds those two inches with pride. Percy uses them against Maddy very frequently. Maddy won’t hurt him though. She physically can’t. His little baby face, those big ol’ light green eyes, that short light green hair, his cute little outfit [which consists of a shamrock colored shirt, black suspenders held up by gold buttons, and dark green shorts]. If he was any smaller Maddy would die. James sometimes gets jealous by how much she gushes over Percy, but doesn’t exactly blame her. Percy’s adorable and he damn well knows it.

“Ha, you’re short.” ~P

“You’re short too.” ~M

“I’m taller than you.” ~P

“Won’t be for long when I take your kneecaps.” ~M

H) Emily

Ah, Emily. The first girl engine she met. They made damn good friends, too. They gossiped whenever they had a chance. Maddy usually talked about shit James has said, and Emily just gossips about anything and everything. They were will to throw hands for each other, with Emily more willing to for Maddy. Maddy would throw hands just as an excuse to do it. Emily still loves her, though.

1) Emily currently stands at 5′8″ or 173 centimeters. She isn’t as girly as she looks, either. Her hair is short, with half of it buzzed off. Maddy would describe her as someone punk-ish. Of course Emily’s personality doesn’t reflect that at all, she just chose to look like it. She’s the only other engine besides James to have piercings, usually with two black on on the top of her ears and hoop earrings to pay honor to her engine build. Emily was a little more casual than her friends, usually seen wearing a simple green dress matching her livery. Her eyes were a very dark grey, almost black, with flecks of brass scattered in there. Maddy told her once that she was the prettiest girl she’s every seen and Emily nearly crashed.

“James being a bitch again?” ~Em

“What do you mean again?” ~M

“I can hear you.” ~J

“I know.” ~M

I) Others

Other characters consist of secondary characters within the story who do not play as big a role. There are a few who teeter on the edge between primary and secondary characters, such as Duck, Donald, Douglas, Diesel, Diesel 10, and Lady. They play an important role, but not enough so to have their own descriptions. Diesel’s..y’know, Diesel, the twins think of Maddy as their long-lost sister, Duck..well, they like to poke fun at James together when he’s not droning about the Great Western Railway, Diesel 10′s goal is to get her to say something about Lady, and Lady...no one’s really sure yet. Then, as of right now for true secondary characters there is Oliver, Toad, BoCo, Bill, Ben, Mavis, and Salty. There’s more to come, but that’s what I got right now.

III) Personal Headcanons

-The engines can eat and taste in both forms. They don’t know where it goes when they’re engines and don’t feel like finding out.

-James learned to cook for Maddy when she couldn’t for herself.

-For the longest time, James was the only engine with his own phone.

-He learned hip language and Maddy started regretting every choice in her life.

-Maddy comes to Salty for him to tell her stories when she’s bored.

-Rain is Maddy’s one weakness since she has no way of covering herself.

-She, along with her friends as humans, run with skates that reflect their wheel configuration. The wheels retract when not in use. [I’m thinking about switching to roller blades, we’ll see.]

-Maddy intentionally starts beef with the Scottish Twins because she thinks the fighting is hilarious.

-Thomas will occasionally beg Maddy for a cotton candy sucker. Specifically cotton candy. She doesn’t know why either.

-Thomas initiated a prank war with her once. He lost.

-Gordon once bet her that she couldn’t pull his heavy goods. His driver was out 30 bucks because of him.

-Maddy tortures Duck with duck puns.

-Maddy still trick-or-treats for free candy.

-Emily once convinced Maddy to derail James for the fun of it. She was subsequently chased around the island.

-James is the ultimate flirt and he uses that against Maddy, who flusters very easily.

-Percy loves Teddy Grahams.

-Edward likes loves to tell others about his daughter. Maddy does not. He is becoming too dad-like.

-The Scottish Twins know damn well that Maddy simps for their accents and they intentionally use it against her if they can.

-Maddy knows about Diesel’s ducklings. It’s the only reason she decides to befriend him.

-James utterly hates Diesel for many many reasons.

-Like many others headcanon, Thomas can’t cook. He fucked up a cup of ramen once and Maddy still refuses to let him live it down.

-Edward refuses to let Thomas and Percy swear. They hate it. James and Maddy know this. They swear more because they can’t.

-James and Maddy are at a tie for worst potty mouths. The twins don’t count. That’s not fair.

-Oliver thought Maddy was an engine for like a month before he met her.

-Maddy dislikes the Mainland. Not the engines there. They’re cool.

-If Maddy isn’t around, James sleeps in her bed with her hoodie.

-Henry worries for Maddy all the time. More and Edward and James combined. He just doesn’t show it.

-Gordon says he has no opinion on Maddy, but he really does like her.

-No one knows where Maddy’s really from. She won’t tell them either. Not even James or the Fat Man really know.

-Want more? Just ask!

IV) Canon Couples within TTTE: MBtE

~James/Maddy

~Edward/Henry

~Emily/Thomas

~D10/Lady (In the past)

~~We’ll see about others as the story progresses~~

V) Notes

- Lady is the reason the engines have sentience. She is not the reason for their human forms. That will be explained later.

-Maddy is much more resilient than an average human, which is why most accidents don’t just straight up kill her.

-As stated before, Maddy can now live for hundreds of years if she’s careful enough. She won’t age as fast as a normal human, so who knows how long she’ll be baby-faced. Not that she cares, more opportunity to trick-or-treat.

-The engines can get frisky, but no babies. Don’t even think about it.

-Maddy will eventually give in and buy beds for all her friends to give them an opportunity to sleep like she does.

VI) Link

Silly me, I forgot to give a link to my story! Shame on me for making you search, that won’t happen again, here you go!

Sodor’s New Worker

________________________________________________________________

And that’s really it. If you have any questions, please please please please please ask!

UPDATED: August 3, 2021

#sodor's new worker #TTTE: MBtE #ttte james #ttte maddy #ttte thomas #ttte edward #ttte emily #ttte percy #ttte henry #ttte gordon #ttte oc

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deafaq · 4 years

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Comprehensive guide to writing deaf characters

Despite not being intented as a blog resource for writers, we get a lot of questions regarding how to write deaf characters. (and by a lot, I mean like half of questions are about writing)

Since lot of these questions are similar anyway, I wrote up this guide for anyone intending to add deaf characters into their writing. From now on, we shall only answer questions related to writing which AREN’T covered in this guide.

Please, keep in mind that deaf people aren’t a hive mind and this guide is based on our personal experience. We recommend a sensitivity deaf reader if you plan to make any deaf character a big part of your story.

Rest of guide under the cut.

Medical basics

- Deafness can be caused by many factors.

- For people born deaf, common causes are: genetics, illnesses of mother during pregnancy (and meds taken), complicated birth, premature birth, etc.

- For people who become deaf later in life: old age, noise damage, several infectious illnesses (for example meningitis), medication (cancer meds or certain antibiotics), tumours on auditory nerve and in brain, chronic inflammations of middle ear, etc.

- Most people with hearing loss still have some degree of hearing

Terminology

- “deaf” – person with hearing loss

- “hard of hearing” – person with hearing loss, still has some degree of hearing

- “Deaf” – person with hearing loss who is proud of their deafness, is member of Deaf community and culture, communicates in sign language

- “deafened” – person who lost their hearing in later life, often as adult

- “deaf and dumb” – old terminology, now considered insulting

- “hearing impaired” – medical term, often disliked by deaf people

Compensation

- Most hard of hearing and some deaf people wear hearing aids. Their function is similar to glasses, they enhances the remaining sense.

- Hearing aids are often pricey, not covered by insurance and need batteries to recharge

- They can be colourful, however most people use brown to make them less noticeable

- They need to be taken off for sleeping and bathing

- It’s considered rude to touch another’s person hearing aid. Hearing people should not try them out, as they can damage normal hearing.

- Cochlear implant are more complicated, require surgery to insert. They compromise of two parts – inner part (under skull), which stimulates hair cells in cochlea, and outer part (outside on the head and ear), which is sound processor, microphone and battery. Both parts are connected via magnet.

- Hearing via CI is more electrical than normal hearing and doesn’t sound same. After the operation, users must train their hearing and attend many sessions where CI is adjusted. It can take years for users to hear speech or use telephone. Success is very individual.

- CIs are often disliked and criticized by Deaf community as they are seen as a threat to Deaf culture and language. There is also a question of consent – for CI to be successful, children must be implanted at young age (1-7 years) and the decision is usually made by their hearing parents.

- Other compensation: Vibration and light alarms, alarm clocks, baby monitors, door bells. Special phones and headphones. Etc.

Communication

- Children who are born deaf cannot naturally acquire spoken language. (aka from their parents/family) It cannot be learned by lip-reading. They learn it as a second language, often at school.

- Despite the stereotype of deaf people being also mute, most deaf people can speak. However, they often have so called “deaf accents”, because they cannot hear themselves speak. Because of that, some deaf people prefer not to talk, to not be mocked for their accent.

- Natural language of deaf people are sign languages. They are not universal, they have their own grammar and rules, they are not simple pantomime and they are not easy to learn. (see Sign Languages)

- Not all deaf people use sign languages, especially those who become deafened later in life.

- There are specific communication system, which combine spoken languages and sign languages, often used in education. They usually use signs from sign languages and spoken language grammar. The most common is Pidgin Signed English (PSE) or Signing Exact English (SEE). Some deaf people use them instead of sign language, since they grew up with it.

- SimCom is simultaneous communication, speaking and using sign language at the same time. As its basically using two languages at one time, it’s difficult and one language often starts following grammatical structure of other.

- Lip-reading is taxing, difficult and often based on talent. It must be taught. To properly lip-read, there must be good light conditions and you must be able to see the face of speaker.

- Some deaf people use writing to communicate with hearing people – either with paper and pen, or on phone. This way of communication is often time-consuming.

- Deaf people often use interpreters to help them communicate. They usually accompany the deaf person to doctors, authorities, important meetings, etc.

Sign language

- Sign languages are natural languages and not created by one person. They appeared organically over time.

- Every country has their own national sign language. The ones most known and researched are ASL (American Sign Language), LFS (French Sign Language), BSL (British Sign Language), AUSLan (Australian Sign Language). There is about 137+ sign languages in the world.

- Grammar in sign languages is based on 3D spaces and use of face expressions and movement of body. Signs are composed of hands in specific shapes, their movement and placement on the body.

- Most sign language have their own finger alphabet. Most common are one-handed (ASL, LFS) and two-handed (BSL, AUSlan).

- Sign languages are not inferior to spoken languages and can express the same things.

- It takes time and dedication to learn any sign language. Usually at least 3 years for being able to communicate properly and more than 5 to be fluent.

- You can sign with just one hand (that’s how deaf people communicate while eating or holding something, for example)

Education

- Until 1970s, the most common way of teaching deaf children was oralism, a teaching tradition which supressed and forbid the use of sign language and insisted on deaf children learning to speak. It is still often used, despite the fact that many studies prove it fails to properly educate deaf people.

- Modern research has proven that use of sign language in education is beneficial for deaf children and helps them to better understand the material.

- Deaf children can either study at school for deaf or be integrated into regular school. Deaf schools used to be very common in past, as they were only available means of education for most deaf people. Kids lived in dormitories. Whether sign language was/is used there depends on the school. Some even had/have deaf teachers.

- Nowadays, most kids study in regular school along with hearing kids. If the school is good, they offer proper compensation – eg. interpreter in class, note taking services, hearing devices, etc. Some schools still sucks, however.

- Integrated kids can suffer from isolation, bullying and discrimination from teachers.

- There are colleges in USA which focus on deaf students and sign language. The most famous is Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C.

Family

- 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. Hearing parents often struggle with the disability of their child. In general, lot of hearing parents prefer to give their kids CI, to make them more “hearing”.

- Deaf parents generally have hearing kids. Those kids are then called CODA – children of deaf adults. CODA often speak sign language well. In general, they are either very involved with Deaf community or not all and avoid it all costs. Lot of CODA children become interpreters.

- Every family is different in how they communicate. Some use sign language. Some only spoken language, requiring the deaf member to lip-read. Some use combination of two or create their own home signs. If only certain members of family learn to sign, it’s usually mother or some other female family member (sister, grandmother).

Deaf culture/community

- A community of Deaf individuals who use sign language as their primary means of communication, are proud of their deafness and their culture. They do not see their deafness as disability/disease, but something that connects them, makes them different from others.

- Deaf people often meet up in clubs, there is big emphasis on community, meeting together, communal experience, etc.

- Term “Deaf gain” is used – what deafness gives us, instead of the usual what deafness takes away from us. What is important is “seeing”, not “absence of hearing”.

- Deaf culture has its own set of social rules/etiquette. Deaf people are generally more blunt and to the point than hearing people. There are special rules for getting attention – eg tapping on shoulder, turning lights on and off.

- There is a big tradition in storytelling and poetry in sign language, especially ASL. Other visual art – videos, paintings and sculpture are also popular.

- Deaf community has lot of members who are LGBT+ and has its own deaf organizations for said people. Generally, deaf community is more accepting when it comes to LGBT+ issues then general public, although exceptions exists.

- Not every country has a strong Deaf community – the biggest one is in USA. In some countries, deaf people are isolated.

Discrimination

- Specific term for discrimination against deaf people is “audism” (not to confuse with autism). General term for discrimination against disabled people, “ableism”, is also used sometimes.

- Deaf people often face discrimination especially when it comes to access to information and unwillingness to offer proper accommodation to them.

- Movies/Tv shows/videos lack subtitles or closed captioning. Video games have no alternative way of showing audio cues. Lectures, festivals and public events are often without interpreters.

- There have been numerous cases of arrests and deaths of deaf people after encounters with police due to communication.

- Hospitals and doctors are often without interpreters and neglect to inform the deaf patients properly. Access to authorities and courts is also problematic.

- Deaf people have difficult time finding employment due to prejudice. Even if they do find a job, employers often refuse to offer proper accommodation.

- Many deaf people also struggle in education – see above.

Common mistakes and stereotypes when writing deaf characters

- Lip-reading as a superpower, which makes deaf person basically hearing anyway

- Wearing Hearing aids at night and/or other people touching them and taking them off.

- Cochlear Implants presented as “cure” or “miracle” which makes a deaf person into hearing person

- Being able to learn sign language in record time (aka in several days)

- “Happy” ending being deaf person losing their deafness via cure/miracle/magic

- Deaf people being bitter and lonely (yes, there are deaf people who are bitter and lonely, but it’s not our defining trait and it’s not *that* common)

- Using deafness as a “cute” trope to increase angst levels in your story because being deaf sucks, right? ( -_________-)

- Deaf person only having hearing friends (it’s often the opposite, aka most friends of Deaf people are also Deaf). Same goes for dating.

- Superpowers or magic that basically cancels out deafness

- Creating your own Name signs for your characters (pls really don’t)

- Sign language = English with signs

- Framing the narrative as a “person overcoming their disability”

- Including deafness as a punishment for the character

- The only deaf character in the story is the villain (“bonus” points for ‘deafness turned them evil’)

- Inspiration porn – see the link

Also, keep in mind that:

- Deafness isn’t a disease and isn’t actually contagious (can’t believe I have to say this)

- We very rarely date people who don’t bother to learn how to communicate with us.

- Deaf people can and do drive. We also travel. Use internet. Swim. Read.

- “Shockingly”, we can tell apart yawning and screaming.

- People who were born deaf think in sign language and asking about it really doesn’t make you a philosopher

#deaf #hard of hearing #sign language #writing deaf characters #writing #mod t

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feuillytheflorist · 3 years

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the tomgreg coffee shop au i gave up on

i had good intentions but i’ll never finish this so i’m sharing it here. the unfinished coffee shop au that runs parallel to early season one where greg works at a fancy coffee shop instead of waystar (@@van1lla-v1lla1n & anybody else feel free to take any of this and put it in ur own shit! or pretend u never saw it)

The coffee shop downtown was full of uptight business men and women.

They came off Wall Street, out of the offices downtown and in the Financial District, and ordered either black coffee or fancy lattes and espressos-- it was a tossup, usually, Greg had found, though he and his co workers kept a running tab in the back of the orders.

(Greg didn’t know why they couldn’t make black coffee in their offices, but he supposed if you made a lot of money, five bucks for a large coffee didn’t matter.)

Most of them ordered while on the phone. One time a stern looking woman in a grey suit had been firing someone while she ordered a peppermint tea, a combination Greg laughed about afterwards.

He supposed it was good that they weren’t a chain cafe. Those places probably got the really angry people, who threw coffee back at you if it was wrong. The worst that had ever happened on one of Greg’s shifts was a middle aged man had taken a sip of his drink, made direct eye contact with Greg, and said it was the wrong drink, only for Greg to confirm that it wasn’t even his in the first place.

But hey, he wasn’t complaining. The place paid well enough, he got free coffee on his days off, and during the working hours, the clientele was mostly tourists and families.

Greg liked it most when the kids came in and he always somehow managed to have a screwed up cookie or some other snack that they were just going to throw away anyway. It made the kids smile, and the particularly hassled parents were usually thankful.

It was a break from the suits anyway.

Greg knew the regulars easily. He worked almost the same hours every week. Knew that the CFO of that accounting firm three blocks away was a tall blonde woman named Samantha who ordered an Americano every time unless she was especially stressed, because then she ordered tea and heaped sugar into it. One of the big name traders-- Greg didn’t know much else, was an older man named Matthew who was the only one who orderer hot chocolate all year round.

This man was new.

In general, it was fun to point out the customers you thought were attractive. He was sure it was a common occurrence, across countless coffee shops, in countless cities worldwide. Dani, the college student who worked Thursday morning with Greg thought that the daughter who sometimes came in with her banker father was cute, while Thomas, Greg’s Monday afternoon co worker had a thing for the red haired girl who studied there Monday mornings.

“So,” Dani leaned against the counter while Greg made the new man’s drink-- Tom, was the name he had given, and the name that was turning around in his head, “Are like, white collar forty year olds your type?”

“What?” She smiled, and twisted a braid around her finger, “Mr. Wall Street over there, in the fucking suspenders.” “Oh,” Greg frowned and topped off the latte. He wouldn’t have pinned Tom as a latte drinker, and he wondered if this was a regular drink for him, “What?”

She rolled her eyes, “He’s hot I guess, in a Dad kind of way.” “Hated that a little bit,” he put the lid on the cup, and returned to the counter. Tom looked up from his phone, where he’d been furiously texting for the past several minutes, “Here you go.” “Thanks,” he took the cup and then took a sip. Greg noticed this was common. They always took a sip before leaving the counter. Greg was pretty sure it was so they’d have easy access back in case it was wrong. Rich people were always eager to find something to complain about,

Greg smiled-- customer service smile, as Thomas called it, “you’re welcome. Come back soon.” Tom smiled back, a tight smile that people always gave them in response. He heard Dani laugh behind him, and when he turned she was looking at him, arms crossed. “Pathetic. Are you going to sleep with him?” “What?”

She laughed again, and returned to the register. Greg shrugged, and returned to the back, where he was supposed to be taking stock before the lunchtime rush really started.

In general, dating was off the table. Greg’s life was way too precarious to think about letting another person in to it, and besides, fantasizing about a customer you saw once and would possibly never see again was a fun thing to do occasionally, but was a waste of time. And sure he had thought Tom was attractive, but he thought plenty of people were attractive, this one was just obvious to Dani who happened to be watching him. It’d be fun to think about him when he walked in, but in general, unrealistic.

Greg put the thoughts of Tom the executive at the unknown location out of his mind, and focused on not losing track of his counting.

***

Evidently lattes were Tom’s thing because that’s what he stuck with whenever he came in.

“Suspenders is here for you,” Dani said, a week later, “He says you’re the only one that can make his fucking coffee. You better take care of this before I flip.” “Oh,” Greg frowned, “Uh, sure. You want to finish this order.” She nodded, “Anything to get away from him. He’s fucking annoying.” Greg shrugged, and went out front, where Tom was waiting at the cash register. Thankfully there wasn’t a line behind him that he was holding up-- people did that all the time and Greg was pretty sure it was eventually going to cause a riot.

“There you are, talented Mr. Greg,” he smiled, “You know I came here on Friday and you were absent? My latte was not as good.” “Oh yeah I’m off on Fridays,” Greg said, typing in the order. He didn’t bother waiting for Tom to actually tell him. He’d memorized it at this point, “Would you like anything else?” Tom shook his head, “No.”

“Four fifty,” Greg said, more out of habit than anything else, and Tom handed over his card. That was something else white collar people always did. Put everything on their card. Greg had only recently been allowed to use his card again, after it had been overdrawn for… several months, “It’ll be ready in five or so.” “I know,” Tom smiled tightly, “I’ve been up all fucking night. How much caffeine is in lattes, do you know?”

“Uh no,” Greg reached for a cup, “But like, if you want, I can add an extra shot of espresso. On the house.” “Would you?” “Sure,” Greg smiled, “You look pretty tired.” “My uh, future father in law is ill,” he said, “It’s been kind of a hectic time. I only just started a new job in addition to that.” “Oh I’m sorry to hear that, about your father in law,” Greg said. He felt a jab of something at the mention of a father in law, but shoved it away. It was unsurprising, and he had no Goddamn right to be anything about it. But it was like when you found out a celebrity you had a crush on was engaged. There hadn’t been any hope to begin with, but the part of you that liked to dream big was still upset at the loss, “I hope he gets better soon.”

“Thanks,” Tom smiled tightly, and the conversation fell quiet. Greg went to make the drink. Tom returned to his phone.

***

“I’m going to need the biggest size you’ve got,” Tom said, before Greg could even open his mouth to ask how his morning was going, “I’m in deep, deep shit.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” Greg replied. He didn’t understand the world of economics and business very well, but that couldn’t be very good regardless. He was pretty sure Tom worked in an office, not on Wall Street, but he still didn’t know what company he worked for. Tom kept his personal information vague and infrequent.

“Yeah,” Tom ran a hand over his face, “Yeah.”

“Like, do you know what you’re gonna do?” Greg asked, ringing up the order.

“Not a fucking clue,” Tom frowned, “It’s bad.”

“Is your father in law feeling better?” Greg asked. He knew it was risky topic. Maybe the man had fucking died, and it would just make things worse.

“Uh huh,” Tom said absentmindedly.

“Yeah my great uncle was sick for a little bit,” Greg said. His mother had called to tell him such, but he’d already seen the news, “But like, we haven’t seen each other in a long time.” Tom squinted at him, like he was trying to figure out why, exactly, Greg had said that. And in reality, Greg wasn’t sure why. Sometimes he just said things.

“Right,” Tom said, “Coffee?” “Oh sorry. One second.”

*** “You finally came out for drinks!” Thomas exclaimed when Greg slinked over to the bar. Greg liked Thomas because he didn’t put up with shit from any of the customers. He was in law school uptown, and came from California originally and Greg thought he was nice, if a little intense. That was probably the lawyer side of him.

“Yeah I finally paid off my credit card debt so,” Greg shouted back. It was a loud bar, the floor was a little sticky under his feet, and he felt exceptionally large all of the sudden, the crowd pressing against him from almost every direction.

Dani laughed, and slapped his shoulder, “Greg’s just sad because his executive boyfriend is getting married.” “What?” Henrietta, Dani’s roommate who worked at the diner a block away from the coffee shop called back, “Greg you have an executive boyfriend?” “No like,” he shook his head. It was too hard to hear in here, and he knew Dani was just joking, but he didn’t want that kind of false information getting out, “He’s a regular at the shop. Dani thinks I think he’s hot.” “He is kind of hot,” Thomas said, “I mean, objectively.” “He’s engaged,” Dani explained, shaking her head dramatically, “It’s not meant to be.” “You could be his mistress,” Thomas offered. The bartender brought over drinks and Greg took whatever they’d ordered for him, “I bet rich people treat their mistresses, like, really well.” “Mm,” Dani nodded, “I bet so.” “Yeah maybe,” he took a long sip. It burned a little, but anything to get out of talking about this.”

*** On Saturdays, Greg didn’t work until the afternoon. A cursory glance at Twitter the next morning told him two things.

The first was that Tom worked for Waystar, his Uncle Logan’s company. He knew all about Waystar because his grandfather hated it with the passion of a thousand suns-- that’s how Greg saw it anyway. He knew this because several articles had been published about the RECNY Ball, which Tom attended with his fiancée, Shiv.

That was the second thing Greg found out. Tom was engaged to his cousin. They weren’t first cousins. Greg wasn’t much into genealogy, but it was like a cousin removed or something. They’d never been close growing up. His mother kept them on the Christmas card list, but Greg hadn’t seen any of the Roys in several years. Even when he’d come to New York City, they ran in such different social circles that they hadn’t seen each other.

Much to his mother’s disappointment. She still thought he’d somehow be able to secure a job at Waystar with his half Roy bloodline, but he’d hardly had the opportunity.

And now there was this. It was really six degrees of fucking seperation wasn’t it?

***

Greg drove up to Canada for Thanksgiving. His Grandfather had agreed to go to Logan’s for the holiday. Much to everyone’s surprise, Greg was sure. His mother had informed him Marcia said he could go. Greg thought that was bound to be a fun revelation for all involved.

“Cousin uh, Craig,” Logan had said, motioning vaguely to Greg standing next to his Grandfather. Ewan frowned.

“It’s Greg isn’t it?” Shiv said, “Cousin Greg?” “Uh yeah,” Greg replied. A cursory glance said Tom wasn’t there, not yet at least. He wondered where he was, then decided he shouldn’t be wondering it.

“We’re glad to have you,” Marcia-- actually he assumed it was Marcia, they’d never met-- said. Her accent was French maybe, he thought, “Both of you.”

“Well no shit,” Tom said, when he arrived, an hour or so later, “Cousin Greg is my barista.” “Really?” Shiv said, looking between the two of them, “Greg’s the one that makes you those lattes?” “Small fucking world,” Tom smiled, and clapped Greg on the shoulder, “Family huh?”

“Ha yeah.”

***

There was a week Tom didn’t show up at all. Dani called him Romeo and lamented over a love that was never meant to be. Greg laughed, told her she didn’t know the half of it.

#tomgreg #fic #my shit writing #succession fic

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cadomoisspokenfor · 3 years

Text

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 7:

The King In Yellow

Walter’s really putting his all into that whistling.

Kerry ended up losing Walter eventually. But I guess she was chased out of her hiding place by the zombies.

Theory: Much like how David feels most stable and confident when Syd’s around, Kerry feels most stable and confident when Cary’s around. She’s much less likely to lose a fight or get scared if Cary is in the vicinity. This would also explain why she feels so betrayed that Cary left her in Mental Clockworks. She works best when he’s around (power of love and all that) so when he’s not around she constantly feels like she’s on the ropes. Maybe only subconsciously though.

Lenny says “Hey” a lot.

So Farouk... actually seems distressed here. This is him at his least chill. He’s just shoved a person he actually cares about into a corner of their mind cause he just couldn’t understand them, the dream he’s created is collapsing and he has no plan on how to deal with it (rare for Farouk), and the location of his own body (his temple) is still lost to him after all this time.

Also, there’s apparently no specific place it could be. Farouk’s body could be anywhere on the globe. I guess he and everyone who knows about is aware that he could come back to his body if he knows where it is?

Even though it’s pointed out a lot I’ll also note that Charles is in his wheelchair in Amy’s flashback. And given future/past events (confusing, I know) this either means Farouk is the one who put him in a wheelchair, or whatever caused it happened between defeating Farouk and giving away baby David. And there’s... really not a lot of time in between those 2 events.

As we’ve seen before, while Farouk can probably see into Oliver’s ice cube residents, he can’t actually go inside or do anything to Oliver (or his guest) while he’s in there.

Farouk doesn’t want the dream to end until he’s located his body.

Cary is used to finishing Oliver’s sentences.

Cary and Oliver think very alike. The biggest difference between them I suppose is Oliver’s reality bending powers.

David never agreed to the barbershop quartet but Oliver put his name down anyways.

I never caught this before, but the thing that makes it obvious to Cary is the fact that the parasite called itself “King”. Before when watching this I thought “it’s just a name,” but I guess the point is... what other villain would be so hubris filled as to advertise who they are so openly. It speaks to the brazenness of Farouk. If Charles had ever checked back and found out David was talking to some invisible friend named “King” Farouk woulda been discovered then and there. I can only assume this means the name “King” was taunt of sorts. A joke only Farouk was in on. Not to mention, Farouk probably would never have settled for a name any less dignifying.

Oliver doesn’t remember any of his past friends, but he does remember Farouk. I wonder, did him and Cary hear about Farouk before or after Charles defeated him? Farouk hasn’t been publicly doing things for 30 years, and the only event that could reasonably be linked to him is Meiser Sunday. If they knew about him before Charles defeated him then that would just speak to his prolificness as a villain, I guess. “The Shadow King”, an unstoppable force for years until a random prodigy mutant gets him on his first try... or so they thought. I believe that’s how it happened in the comics too.

I’ll also note, Charles is an important figure in the mutant community, but it shouldn’t be discounted that the mutant community still existed and had a whole rich history before Charles even stepped on the scene. It seems like either Xaviers School doesn’t exist in this timeline, or they just don’t know about it. And given that, Summerland seemingly founded itself off the same general ideas of the Xavier School, but completely independently. Like 2 people coming up with the same idea on different sides of the planet.

Farouk’s weakness as Oliver puts it is, “He puts all of his energy into tricking David. Didn’t think to watch his six.” I wonder... is this a consistent weakness of Farouk’s? Could this be what Oliver means when he says he found his weakness in s2?

Oliver admits Farouk is too powerful for him. It’s not like he’s one to have a power complex, but it is interesting how shameless he is about it. He doesn’t really philosophize about that kind of thing, he’s matter of fact about it. Farouk’s got more measurable power than me, we need to find another way around him. He also notes though that *David* could defeat Farouk if need be. Everyone recognizes David as the top of the food chain.

Small note: I guess this is how it works between omega lvls. Always thinking of ways around each others raw abilities. Farouk knows David is too strong for him in s2, so he finds away around it. David knows he might not be able to hold out against Farouk’s built up experience, so he finds away around it. Brains over brawn every time, it would seem.

Cary feels really really bad for David. Seeing him screaming his brains out in a locked box knowing full well how much David hates small space. It’s very sweet. But also, 2 episodes Cary seemed a bit more standoffish about David. Knowing what he knows now recontextualized all those past events. David is a victim of something incomprehensibly terrible. He sees that now.

My boi Dan’s gonna need a lozenge after this one.

“We’re gonna need everybody.” They never get Ptonomy :/

I didn’t pick up on any of the other times, but Syd’s job here is to be a distraction. Sure, she has to protect the others in the process, but freeing them from the dream is the job of Cary, Oliver, and Melanie.

Still though, David is the victim who needs help here. He’s not the hero who saves them, he’s the one in need of saving. And Syd takes charge in the plan to do so and is tasked with protecting the others, making her once again closer to the hero archetype than David is. In the moment at least.

Syd’s talking fast cause they don’t exactly have all the time in the world here.

The zombies vanish but the architecture remains. There are “degrees” of real in the astral plane.

“Just thought it’d be interesting.” She’s over the whole “jumpscare haunted house” thing by now.

Silly me, the Melanie scene took place after Cary went to gather people. So it’s definitely Cary in the suit.

Melanie’s glad to see he’s back but she’s not completely love struck. Probably both cause he doesn’t remember her, and cause lovestruck Melanie was a result of her mind being altered to fit the delusion. Cary is guiding them out of the delusion so she’s back to her old self basically. Rational, and concerned with the mission.

This isn’t important, I just like how Melanie wakes him up here. It’s sweet, and bitter, cause it’s too late for him anyways.

Why does Farouk simulate this whole process for Rudy? What’s the use in tricking him if he already can barely do anything? We know Rudy gets him eventually, but it’s just surprising that Farouk recognizes him as being a potential threat.

Cary neglected to inform Syd who else he was personally waking.

Is Walter seeing the zombies too? Unclear. But he’s less chill about his tormenting now.

David starts using humor to cope. From what we’ve seen he’s been non-stop screaming for a while. It seems like he stops panicking as much specifically because his mind is fracturing to help him cope.

His first alter (that we see). Rational Mind.

RM says the coffin is just an “idea.” Very specific word choice there.

Rm tells him to forget all the “lies” he learned in memory work and the MRI. That was all Summerland stuff, though. “It’s your mind.” Essentially, trust yourself. You know who you are, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Not even your new friends. Very reminiscent of, “You decide what is real and what is not.”

David doesn’t want to call his adoptive parents his parents anymore.

David’s happy to finally contextualize Farouk as a mutant and not a mental illness. It all starts making since to him, his whole life.

RM’s the first one to say “boohoo,” and it’s in response to David’s sadness over his bio-parents giving him away.

“I am pretty, I am loved.” “Good, keep going.” This mindset David’s falling into is specifically encouraged by his alters. In fact, it’s RM that pushes him down this path in the first place. David (non-Shadow King possessed David) has been avoiding this thought all season.

David’s a bit wrong here, and I think the difference tells us something important. David assumes Farouk possessed him after he was already living in the Haller’s house. But, we know it seemingly happened before Charles even got back from Morocco. So, given that Gabrielle’s mental health was already bad from post-partum depression (alternatively, it’s just the depression she already had) and Charles leaving her alone to go to Morocco, Farouk coming in and haunting the house probably sent things over the edge. David was most likely given away because Gabrielle wasn’t well enough to care for him like he needed, and Charles... 🤷🏾‍♀️ tbh. Might just’ve not wanted to raise David without Gabrielle. They both said they didn’t ant him to turn out like them. In s3 it’s made to seem like the house haunting was a combination of David and Farouk. David’s haunting time travelly presence probably made things worse, but Farouk would’ve gotten to the baby much sooner if not for him, and without David in the way Farouk probably would’ve upped his own intentional torments. The goal was revenge after all.

David assumes Farouk’s goal is revenge upon the whole world. Makes sense since that’s what Farouk’d been encouraging David to all season. And what he’ll continue to encourage him towards throughout s2 & 3.

Syd “woke him up.” She makes him more stable and sane. She grounds him in reality.

“I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore.” A moment of quiet deliberation with his alter and then he awakens with newfound confidence and a plan. This will repeat in a very tragic way later on.

Kerry, Syd, and a damaged comrade in a wheelchair. If I had nickel for every time this happens I’d have 2 nickels. Very weird it happens twice. Unless... mental clockworks and the end of s3 are supposed to parallel each other.

I assume the astral-plane diving suit protects whoever’s wearing it from psychic threats, much like the ice cube. At the moment, no one’s wearing it.

Sometimes psychics powers require a bit of miming to manifest. Oliver can’t just wave his hand and make a shield, not a strong enough one at least. Similarly, Farouk can’t just expand his mind into the future, he needs to go through a whole time machine building process in the astral plane.

Cary and Melanie seeing Walter get killed must hit hard for them considering he used to be a student of theirs. Sure, he turned against them, but still...

They juxtapose Walter dying with Rudy fully waking up. I wonder if that means it was his powers that were keeping Rudy docile and not necessarily the stab wound.

David is the one that wakes them all up, destroys the dream, and puts them back in their real bodies. And just in time for Cary to place the halo on his head. This is I think the first time David does a real act of super-heroism. The only potential one previously is saving Amy and he wasn’t really the one in control there. This is his first win against Farouk.

David’s not only got control of his powers, but control of himself for the first time, too. And it’s to the point where he’s perceiving things at lightning speeds and moving fast enough to catch bullets. Along with whatever power he’s using to halt the bullets momentum too. For now at least, this is our hero.

They play sinister music whenever he does the bright white light teleport. He does it again at the end of s2. Is it a specific kind of teleport, or is he just adding flair?

David didn’t teleport them directly to the base.

Kerry sadly looks at Rudy’s body.

Melanie looked around for Oliver but in doing so missed him meeting up with the others.

Everyone’s relaxing after their long fought for victory. David and Syd seem really happy. They find Oliver funny/charming.

When Cary’s talking to Kerry, in the background I can barely make out everyone else talking about potatoes.

David’s fine with Amy apologizing, just not in front of the others.

Instead of “The Poor Woodcutter and His Wife” Oliver calls it the “The story of The Lady and the Crane.”

Farouk doesn’t like small spaces either. Ha.

#legion fx

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jincherie · 5 years

Text

florescence | i

❀ — pairing: taehyung x reader x seokjin ❀ — genre: hybrid au, hybrid tae, hybrid jin, poly, fluff, smut (future), angst ❀ — words: 4.7k+ ❀ — rating: sfw ❀ — warnings: lowkey highkey threat of euthanisation (wooo dystopian hybrid elements!), shy and blushing boys prepare your hearts ❀ — notes: this is written for an old old old old request! you can find it here for now, but I’ll make a post for more convenience later. besides that, I already have about 18k written for this and have barely dented what I want to include so... guess we’re in this for a bit of a long haul! I’m still in the process of guiding where I want this to go, but until then... I’m eager to kick-start it! Since I technically already posted this, I’ll post the second part relatively soon. Please enjoy! lmk what u think!!! love u!!

Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin... You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but... maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

— posted; 28.07.2019 // masterlist || next.

Nerves have your knees wobbling slightly as you stand in place, the impressive height of the B.H. Laboratories building looming over you. Really, you’re not that anxious about what you’re about to do, yet your knee still feel slightly weak and your shoulders pinch with minute tension. Your body might be a little out of tune with your brain, you think, or perhaps the emotions attached to the physical reactions just haven’t hit you yet.

You waver in your spot, finally deciding to bite the bullet and take the handle into your grasp. It’s cool against your palm and smooth to the touch, if slightly worn. As you shift your wrist and twist the bolt, you recall the panicked and desperate voice of your friend as she’d called you barely half an hour ago. Seulgi is hardly the type to get worked up over nothing, so when you’d answered the phone to the sound of nothing but fear and urgency in her tone you’d been instantly at attention.

Your raven-haired best friend works at the massive Lab currently in front of you, filling in the role of the receptionist and taking her placements here as she completes her degree. Her ideal career path is one of science, but one of her passions and interests lies in the complex matter of hybrids. Really, this job is perfect for her—B.H. Laboratories specialise in genetic matters and in the creation of hybrids, most specifically those made to be companions. Long since passed are the days where hybrids were still new and shiny and held under the most barbaric of laws, if any. For some the strangeness and novelty has worn off since then, yet that doesn’t mean that the laws regarding hybrids have kept up with the shift in the population.

B.H. Labs, from the very beginning, have been pioneers of sorts in the field. Always pushing the limits, extending past perceived boundaries and paving the way. A lot of what Seulgi gets glimpses of is new hybrids, new combinations and variations. The goal of the company is to achieve the perfect companion for the people and the individual, and they work hard in their efforts to create such a thing.

This means that new lines and batches of hybrids are always being created, prototypes always being tested and tried out. Usually, the hybrids pass and go on to the next stage—they go to shelters for adoption while the data recorded from their stay goes towards the creation of the next batch. Usually, this is how it goes. However, there are the rare exceptions—batches that begin to vary and differ as they grow, turning out nothing like intended. Batches that don’t meet the goal of the experiment or that are lacking in some way or another, are marked as failures. If even a single hybrid of the bunch is deemed unfit, the rest are scrutinised brutally and received the blemish on their records as well. This, actually, is a topic that sparks heated debate in the community— because it’s common knowledge that at most hybrid facilities, failed batches aren’t sent to shelters like their predecessors, but instead are put down, like nothing more than the animals they are spliced with. They don’t have the opportunity to make connections for a possible home, and so the only destination that awaits them is the gallows. B.H Labs stand out from the rest here, due to their spotless record of product success. Never have they euthanised a hybrid of their making, and never has a batch or single hybrid been deemed a failure. However records and streaks of success, like all things, must come to an end eventually.

This… is why Seulgi had called you in such a frantic manner earlier.

She’d caught wind of a last-minute decision that had been made about two hybrids who had been deemed ‘failures’ for whatever reasons. They were being moved from their quarters as she spoke and are scheduled for the chopping block tonight. Seulgi is far too good a person to just stand by and just let it happen, and while floundering for any possible solution she’d come across you.

You can’t believe she remembered it, but one time you’d confessed to her while blind-rotten drunk that you were actually a little bit lonely, living by yourself in your large two-bedroom apartment as you were, and kind of longed for a companion. You’d never ever meant to let slip that you’d considered getting a hybrid, because you both held very similar views regarding them, but it had tumbled from your pouting lips nonetheless and now Seulgi is privy to one of your most embarrassing secrets. If she wasn’t your best friend and didn’t know that you’d rather cut off all four of your limbs than mistreat a hybrid, then your drunken confession might have earnt you a potent smack and the cold shoulder. As it is, all you can remember receiving was a drunk laugh and sly smile.

You didn’t think she would remember it, but clearly you were wrong because here you are now, all of a sudden about to receive not one but two hybrids in one go.

The second you step foot into the reception area your presence is noticed and a high tone pierces the air, stationery and folders cluttering against a desk along with the familiar sound of small wheels sliding across the linoleum.

“Oh, y/n, thank god you’re here.”

You turn, catching sight of Seulgi as she bolts up from her position behind the counter and darts around the desk, heading straight for you. She might have slammed straight into you if she didn’t catch herself a little before she arrived.

“I’d give you more info but we really don’t have time, they’re going to move them soon so we need to get our asses going.” She’s speaking so fast you can barely keep up and if you didn’t know her so well then you might not have understood what she was saying at all. She grips your hand and begins down the stark white and light blue hall, tugging you behind her. Fuck, okay, this is going much faster than you prepared yourself for. “Thank you so much for coming, y/n. I know you were kind of thinking of adopting only one, and from a shelter, and this is way out of the ball park of what you ever imagined but… thank you.”

At the mention of the other details you’d accidentally confessed to her while drunk that time, you blush, but choose to let it go for now. You aren’t sure why it embarrasses you exactly, but you know she doesn’t say it with ill intent and that she is stressed to high hell right now so you’re willing to ignore it.

“It’s no problem,” you say, shooting her a reassuring smile when she turns to catch your gaze. “I couldn’t live with myself if I said no, knowing what will happen if we don’t…”

Seulgi doesn’t say anything but the way her features twist into a grimace are telling enough that she knows what you mean.

“I asked them earlier if they could be spared if someone was interested in them, and they said yes but since they don’t know anyone, they’re still going ahead as per normal procedure,” the raven-haired female informs you, the two of you hastening your pace down the winding halls. Deeper into the bowels of the building you venture, Seulgi navigating with so much ease that you are sure she could do it with her eyes closed. “So long as we get there before they start the final part of the procedure, we should be good.”

Everything has gone so fast since Seulgi first called you over half an hour ago, and it continues to do so as you round corners and duck down halls. Eventually you reach a wing with walls painted pastel red instead of soft blue and your stomach churns and dips as the situation suddenly becomes much, much more real to you. Are you actually ready for the way your life is going to change in just a few short minutes? What if things go wrong, or they hate you and—

Seulgi stops suddenly, turning to you with wide eyes. “Oh, shit. I almost forgot—I should tell you before we go in there, they aren’t… from a batch that was deemed a failure.”

Your brows furrow before you can stop them, confusion on your face plain for her to see. She hurries to explain, “They’re… they’re from two previous batches. The rest of their batches were fine, but these two… something about them deemed them unfit to be pushed forward to the next stage.”

You can see the embitterment on her features as she continues, lips tugging down, “They… they were kept for a while, observed a little, but they… the next batch is larger than the last ones, and they’re clearing out the block to use all the room they have available. And with nowhere else to send them, since they weren’t ever officially cleared for release from the lab like the others that go to shelters and sellers…”

You’d come here already empathising with the poor hybrids, but your chest aches and your heart throbs even more now. It saddens you that this is happening to them, that this is their reality. The idea of how powerless and scared they must feel right now… it makes your lungs pinch and constrict in sorrow.

Seulgi swallows, turning her gaze to the side; you hadn’t noticed before but she’d stopped you right outside a frosted glass door, and if you strain your ears you can just barely hear the low tone of male voices on the other side. The shorter female seems hesitant as she glances back to you, as though concerned that your mind has suddenly changed or something along those lines.

“Stop stressing,” you smile, pushing down the incriminatingly thick, wriggling bundle of nerves in your stomach. “I already agreed, I’m not going to turn back now. I want to help them.”

Your words ease her worries instantly, and she appears sheepish for a moment as she averts her gaze. “No, I know, I just… the thought of what would happen if I didn’t know you…”

She trails off, shaking her head before catching the reassuring gaze you send her. “Alright, let’s go in. We can’t afford to waste any more time.”

With that, she reaches for the handle of the door, swiping her personal card on the scanner beside the frame with her other hand. A beep permeates the air and the light flicks from red to green, lock clicking open. She’s quick to act, twisting the handle and bursting into the room with you hot on her heels, acting in the moment before your nerves can catch up to you.

“Wait, please wait! I brought her, I brought someone who will take them, please wait!”

The sight that greets you as you enter the room is one that you should have expected yet it still comes as a surprise. Three people dressed in slacks and button-ups with clinical coats over the top turn to face you in shock; one is by the door on the other side of the room, hand poised by the handle, and the other two are stationed either side of the remaining two figures in the room.

The hybrids, you realise instantly. You feel the breath whoosh from your lungs suddenly as they spin in place with wide, fearful eyes and you catch sight of them in all their beautiful glory.

They’re about the same height, with the same golden skin that glows nicer than it should beneath the unforgiving fluorescent lights of the lab. That is where their similarities end for the most part though, as they appear to be different hybrid types altogether, something that is consistent with what Seulgi said to you earlier. The one to the left has soft, pale reddish-coloured hair and large triangular ears with thick tufts of white on the inside. His eyes are rimmed by long, dark lashes and the iris swims citrine green-gold with dustings of cocoa by the pupil. His hips are narrower than the hybrid beside him, his posture drawn in as he hugs himself and his tail, deep russet and incredibly fluffy and thick, wraps around his long legs.

The male beside him sports soft charcoal hair, the ears settled amongst the strands speckled grey and black to match the fluffy, white-tipped tail that brushes his calves. His eyes are deep amber, gleaming gold in the light, and rimmed with dark lashes that only serve to emphasise the contrast of his irises. His shoulders are impossibly broad and his upper body tapers into hips that, while aren’t as narrow as the male beside him, are still slim and give way to long legs. Both of the hybrids are wearing the standard loose white clothes that come complimentary from the lab, and both are looking at you with mixed emotions playing on their features.

“Seulgi,” the male by the door lets out a heavy breath of relief, hand dropping from the handle completely. “Thank god, I thought you weren’t going to come—I tried to take as long as possible but there’s only so much I can stall when I have orders from the higher-ups, you know?”

Seulgi nods, her gaze flitting from the hybrids in question to the male’s face. “I know, I’m sorry I took so long, Jooheon. Are these the ones?”

The male, Jooheon, nods and begins walking over to where you are, reaching into the deep pockets of his lab coat. The other two humans in the room visibly relax at the turn the situation has taken for them.

“They are,” he affirms, gaze falling to you with what you swear is a hint of gratitude. “And this is your friend, y/n? The one who offered to take them?”

You nod along with Seulgi, and Jooheon lets out another huff of relief. “Thank god. Okay, I brought the release forms down so all you will have to do is sign and then the three of you can be out of here.”

He pulls a folded bunch of papers from the pocket, placing it along with a pen on the desk to your side that you in all honesty didn’t even notice until now. He then turns to the two hybrids, who are looking frantically from you to him with wide, confused yet somewhat hopeful eyes. Your heart gives a painful throb as you see the glossy sheen beginning to gather over them.

“You’re saved,” Jooheon breathes, and you watch as the hybrids seem to shake slightly. “This is y/n, she agreed to be your owner and take you two home to take care of you from now on. You’re safe now, you won’t need to worry about… what we talked about earlier, anymore. Okay?”

The two hybrids look like they’re about to cry, chins wobbling and lips trembling, but they manage to keep the tears at bay just a little longer. They turn to you, appearing as though they want to say something, but Jooheon takes your attention again before they get the chance.

“Alright, y/n I need you to sign here and here, on both forms,” he instructs you, holding the paper open and pointing to the areas amongst the lines of fine print that needed your signature. You take the pen and do as told, and once he is satisfied with your progress, he turns to the other two staff members that were in the room. “Hyungwon, Changkyun, you can take their wristbands off. They won’t need them. Did you bring the collars?”

They both nod, the taller one reaching into his coat pocket while the other goes about removing two thick bands from the hybrids with a tiny, specialised key. You finish scribbling your signature where it’s required just in time to receive the two simple leather collars that the tall one is holding out to you.

Now that what you guess to be the ownership forms are signed, Seulgi has visibly sagged in a combination of relief and exhaustion—she did stay here well after her shift ended to sort this all out, after all. She isn’t normally here until almost nine o’clock at night.

“Thank you, Jooheon, Hyungwon, Changkyun,” she breathes, striding forward to grasp the papers and fold them neatly. “Thank you for letting us do this.”

Jooheon shakes his head, a fond, thankful smile tugging his lips and making dimples appear on his cheeks. “No, thank you. I… I don’t know what we would have done if you two didn’t…”

The silence that falls at his words is heavy, and you look to the two hybrids to see their gazes directed at the ground, forms trembling. You want so badly to comfort them and reassure them that everything is going to be okay, that you’ll keep them safe and do everything in your power to make them happy, but you can’t bring yourself to overstep that boundary. You’re new to them, they don’t know you. The recollection of that fact makes your face heat in embarrassment at the nature of your instincts in this situation.

“It’s no problem,” you say, the first words you’ve uttered so far in this room—every gaze whips to you accordingly. You shoot Jooheon and the two hybrids a smile. “I’m happy to help. I promise to do my best.”

The male nods at that, relieved, and he turns to the two hybrids.

“Alright, you two come with me. We’ll go grab your things and make sure you have everything ready to go.” He turns to Seulgi now, “We’ll meet you at the front of the building in a few minutes, make sure to grab the guidebooks for her.”

And with that he’s grasping the two hybrids gently and leading them down the hall, disappearing from sight within moments. You don’t even notice the other two lab employees bidding you farewell until Seulgi is tugging at your arm and leading you in the direction you came from.

“Come on, let’s go,” she says, a smile tugging her lips to replace the stressed frown from earlier. You’re glad to see a brighter expression on her face. “I’ll grab those guidebooks for you then we’ll meet them out front. You caught the bus here right? I’ll drop you three home.”

x + x + x

Barely half an hour later finds you standing on the footpath outside your unit complex, waving to a grinning Seulgi as she pulls from the curb and toots her horn in farewell. Something that you probably could have gone without, if the way the two hybrids by your side flinch is anything to go by. Silence drifts over the three of you as you watch her car disappear into the night, taillights flashing before she rounds a corner and is gone form your view. The short trip to your house was spent much in the same manner, Seulgi the main perpetrator driving the conversation as you respond occasionally from the front seat, the hybrids bunched together in the back with their tiny amounts of luggage. You’re not really a quiet person— quite the opposite, really— but you don’t want to overwhelm and intimidate your new housemates more than they already are. Thus, a majority of the trip was spent in silence.

You realise as you’re standing there that you know little to nothing about these two hybrids—there was no ‘getting to know them’ process as there might have been at a proper shelter. Normally, the procedure is that you enter the shelter, fill in application forms and tell the clerk what you’re looking for—they direct you to hybrids they think will be suitable, and then you spend some time with the hybrid to get to know them a little. Obviously, nothing like that happened tonight; actually, you’re still reeling a bit and the events that have occurred so far haven’t even caught up with you yet. You can’t find it in you to complain though, not when you know that choosing them meant that you saved them from a fate more befitting to an animal.

“Do you two have everything?” you ask suddenly, doing your best to make your voice as gentle and nonthreatening as possible. It still startles them though, and they flinch before their attention whips to you, their eyes wide—both are taller than you so it’s almost kind of comical, the way they react. When they nod you let out a hum and send them each what you hope comes across as a reassuring smile. “Excellent, please follow me and we’ll go inside.”

They do so without qualm, and you can’t help but wonder as you turn on your heel and begin to walk towards your unit—sat on the ground floor to the front of the complex and hidden behind a tiny courtyard—what exactly was quote-unquote wrong with them for them to have been marked as failures and lined up for the fate they almost faced tonight. You climb the few steps that lead to the courtyard with them in tow, making it to your front door and unlocking it with speed and practiced ease. You hold the door open for them, closing it softly after they file in.

“Alright,” you hum to yourself, moving to slip your shoes off and deposit your bag to the small table to the side. You go to face them, about to ask them what they would like to do first, when you come to a startling and embarrassing realisation.

You don’t even know their names.

The two hybrids are already looking at you as you turn to face them, soft smile on your face.

“I’m sorry,” you apologise, hands wringing somewhat nervously. The events of the past hour are only just sinking in, a jumbled mess your mind is struggling to disentangle, and it all feels so….surreal. “This has all gone pretty fast, huh? I just realised I never asked your names. I’m y/n, as you probably already guessed. And you…?”

The two of them share a glance before the one to your left, the one with raven hair and bright amber eyes, speaks first—the other shifts behind him, cheeks dusting pink as he ducks his head a little, russet-coloured strands hanging over his forehead.

“I am Seokjin,” the male speaks clearly, but you can hear the tremble in his tone that betrays just how nervous and on edge he still is. “This is Taehyung. Th-thank you for taking us in, mistress.”

At the title he attaches to the end of his sentence you blanche, shoulders pinching in discomfort as a squeak escapes you. You reach and take his hands into yours without thinking, desperate to reassure him.

“No, please! You don’t have to call me that. I don’t know what you’ve been taught but we’re equals in this house, just y/n is fine,” you inform them, gaze flicking from one face to another. “Okay?”

The second your hands grasped his a deep blush stains Seokjin’s cheeks, his eyes wide and ears slightly pressed to his skull in what you guess is fluster. He nods when you send him a prompting look, Taehyung following suit from next to him. You allow your eyes to scan their trembling forms for a moment, taking in the way their tails press tightly to them and wind around their legs, ears half lowered. You’ve barely recovered from what almost happened to them, so you don’t doubt that they’re still caught up on the fate they oh so narrowly missed. Your heart goes out to them.

“You’re still a little shaken up, huh,” you murmur in observation, brushing your thumbs over the knuckles of the hands in your grasp before you realise what you’re doing and gently let go. You do your absolute best to fight the embarrassed flush trying to colour your cheeks as a result. “I’ll show you to your room, then you can decide if you would like to shower and freshen up or have something to eat first. Is that okay?”

Seokjin’s eyes are wide as he regards you with something akin to shock, plush lips falling open before he musters an answer for you in the form of a nod. You turn and see Taehyung shyly nodding as well, a hand reaching to grip the back of the other hybrid’s shirt as he shuffles slightly behind him. You suppress the urge to raise your brows—wow, he’s a shy one, huh? You’re a little taken aback but it’s honestly a little endearing.

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, offering them a smile again. Seokjin attempts to return it, but Taehyung is too busy staring at the floor to catch it. “My house isn’t very big, but I’ll point out places as we go.”

The two hybrids trail after you as you proceed to give them a makeshift tour, pointing out the main rooms and adding little comments of what you liked to do in there or what you use certain things for. They observe their surroundings with wide, inquisitive eyes, and the further into the house you delve you catch them sniffing subtly as they take in the different scents in your home, tails unwinding from their legs to tentatively brush wall corners and furniture. Bit by bit they seem to ease, tension fleeing their forms somewhat, and you’re glad for it. You don’t want them to be on edge for the whole night, and you don’t want them to feel uncomfortable for longer than is normal.

“—this one is my room, and this one here is yours. I’m sorry, you have to share a bed for now but I will be able to get two separate ones soon.” You run your hands through your hair sheepishly, eyes sweeping over the room for anything that shouldn’t be there. You duck in and grab a box of paints you left to the side, offering the two hybrids an embarrassed grin. “I promise I will get all this stuff out of here as soon as possible, too. Ideally I would have cleared it before you got here, but tonight was a little short-notice so… yeah.”

Taehyung is hiding behind the other male but is watching you with rapt attention over his shoulder, absorbing everything you say even if the blush on his cheeks betrays that he’d rather be averting his gaze right now. Your eyes flick to Seokjin and you catch him chewing his lip as he processes your words, amber hues flitting about the room and taking everything in.

“It is fine,” he says, offering you a small smile in reassurance. “We will be okay. You have already been more than generous enough.”

You shake your head at him, attempting to smile though it doesn’t reach your eyes. “I appreciate that, but you guys deserve better than the state of the room as it is right now. I want the two of you to be happy , so… as soon as we can, we’ll get some stuff for you to decorate and make it your own… okay?”

You swear his eyes are shining as they whip and meet yours, his mouth falling open once more as he struggles to form a response. You clear your throat, speaking so he doesn’t have to.

“Just there is your bathroom. I have one attached to my room, so that one is just for you two,” you inform them, fingers wringing nervously again. “We can maybe go tomorrow and get everything we need, but it would be really helpful if you guys thought about what you want and maybe make a list? I’m happy to get whatever.”

They seem taken aback at your words, not for the first time tonight, but nod nonetheless. You let a bright smile onto your face. “Awesome, thanks. You can pop your bags in here—would you like to shower and freshen up first, or do you want some food?”

The hybrids share a look, and Seokjin turns back, opening his mouth to answer when two loud grumbles pierce the air. Both hybrids flush bright pink, mortified, but you just laugh.

Guess that answers your question, then.

a/n: please let me know what you think! i hope you liked it, i’m excited for more to come :)

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