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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

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The Light of Dead Stars (10) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language; alcohol consumption, explicit sexual content (making out, breast play, fingering, frottage, unprotected penetrative sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 12.6k

A/N: I am sorry for the pain from the previous chapter but I hope this... yeah HAHA it’s gonna be a roller coaster ride. Also, a bit of a change for chapter 12 - it will be divided into 2 parts to be released 12 hours apart; that is all. Please enjoy this one and yes, this Jin makes an appearance💕

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Status: Complete

Series summary: Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.

Seokjin watches you turn around and go down the stairs and out the door, the image of you walking away from him embedded in his mind. It’s gonna sting for a long time, he knows.

You’re headed for the stars, to the man who’s held your heart for years and whose heart you’ve kept so close to yours for just as long.

Seokjin knows what this trip means and where it could head. When he accompanied you to see Namjoon back in France, the fear and worry that Jin felt was unfamiliar, so was the jealousy at the sight of both of you so close and comfortable, like you could spend the rest of your lives just gazing at each other’s eyes, talking, and it would be a life well lived.

There was relief when you said that you’d just caught up, and even more when you turned down the man’s offer to run away to Italy. Seokjin was confused then, still getting used to the bubbling feeling of joy and comfort and perhaps little crush he was developing on you, which he soon would learn would be the continuation of the origin story of his broken heart.

This time is different. There’s fear, definitely; there’s heartbreak more than anything. But there’s also that acceptance, that hope, knowing that with the difficult decision of letting you go, you could be with someone who would maybe love you better, or just love you the way you want to, however that is. He could at least comfort himself knowing that at the end of it all, you’ll be happy.

The house feels so empty. It’s been that way for 2 weeks now, actually. Even before things changed, you were here - in the kitchen making him breakfast, on the counter badgering him to make you taste what he’s cooking; on the couch watching cooking shows, in your room, opening the door to yell something to him from across the hall.

Who knows what will happen when you come back - if you come back. He made the first step to letting you go, after all; all you need to do is take what he’d given and then walk away.

Legal documents have been drafted some time ago. It was one of the things you both talked about behind your families’ backs but neither one of you actually had them finalized. You’d both communicated to the lawyers what the provisions of your divorce papers would be, but neither one of you had actually read them, thinking it would be a while before you needed to.

Seokjin wanted to give you that choice, he wanted to give you that out, he wanted to let you know that it was okay if you chose to proceed with the plan you both talked about, even if there was no one who’d be waiting for him on his end.

Making that decision wasn’t easy. He’d messaged your brother about arranging the VIP room for your father, saying that you’d insist on the private one instead but Jin had always been adamant about giving your family the best care. Hoseok had apologized about you missing the awarding ceremony, saying that he can very well take care of your father but that you preferred to be at the hospital, and somehow Jin had been even more hurt, as he was desperate for you, and he hated that it affected him that much.

Something about you missing the ceremony that night convinced him that you were drifting away for good. He doesn’t know how to hold the rope - if he should grip tighter and pull you in, let it stay loose until you make your way back, or let go because maybe you just need the push to make the decision to leave.

And signing those divorce papers was him, letting it stay loose but giving you that chance to walk away at the same time. At least then he knows that he didn’t trap you, and if you came back, at least he knows you chose him.

He releases a deep breath, sinking into the floor of the living room and putting the TV on the sports channel on mute. He’d snuck in the envelope with the divorce papers inside your carry-on luggage, in between all the clothes, so he guesses you’ll see it when you land in Hong Kong. That’s about 4 hours from now, and he doesn’t know what to do until then.

He doesn’t have an appetite, and much as he wants to drink until he passes out again, he knows he won’t wake up to you at the edge of his bed, scolding him for being stupid, and that would be worse than his hangover.

Getting himself off the floor, he decides to spend his time and money on this 24-hour arcade place that your best friend had told him about. But as he turns the TV off, about to grab his keys and head out, he hears the front door open and hurried footsteps up the stairs.

And then there’s you in front of him, panting, with a look on your face that he can’t read, and the familiar envelope on your hand.

His heart stops for a few seconds but he recovers, returning to look at you.

“___, what are you doing here? You’re gonna miss your flight,” he says, trying to sound calm.

“I, uh, I found this in my bag, stuffed between my clothes,” you start, voice shaking as you raise the envelope. “I wasn’t supposed to see it until Hong Kong, was I?”

He looks away, not wanting to respond. He's scared that you’re angry, making this decision behind your back, not consulting you and being honest, something you despise.

“Answer me,” you plead.

“You were supposed to see it when you got there, help you make your plans with him,” he says. “I wanted you to know that it’s okay.”

“Is it?” You ask, trembling. “Is it okay with you, me leaving to be with him? Is that what you thought I was going to do there?”

He chooses to answer differently, because he doesn’t want to lie. It’s crushing him just thinking of all the things that could happen on that trip, but he knows he still wants you to be happy, even if it’s not with him.

“I don’t wanna tie you down to this life, ___.”

“And what is this life?” You press.

“The one you didn’t choose, the one where you’re bound to me, someone you don’t trust… someone who… who maybe doesn’t know how to love you,” he sighs.

He should be fighting for you, he thinks; he wants nothing more than to do that. But he’s worried you’d back away; he doesn’t want you to hate him even as he loses you.

“What if this is what I want?” You ask, surprising him. “What if this is the life I want to live, the one that’s with you?”

Seokjin looks at you as you slowly walk closer, your glassy eyes meeting his curious ones. He’d been so sure you’d take that flight, regardless of you finding the papers beforehand or not.

“Is it?” He returns the question, sighing when you merely gaze at him. “___, you have a plane to catch. I… I can’t have you stay here and miss out on something you’ve been waiting for for years.”

“Exactly. I can’t,” you respond. “I can’t miss out on you.”

His heart races as you stand in front of him. The words are still processing in his head but there’s something in your eyes - sadness, hope, that ember of joy that he wants more of.

“I’m not signing this,” you say, hoping it’s clearer to him because he doesn’t seem to be understanding what you mean. “Not unless you didn’t mean what you said last week while you were outside my room, but if you did, then I—”

“I did,” he stammers. “I meant it all. I still do, but—”

“Then again, I’m not singing this,” you repeat, hoping your calm tone can steady his pulse; knowing him, he’s probably unable to fully make sense of what’s happening right now.

Jin stares at you dumbfounded, and he finally gets his bearings when you call his name, softly, tenderly, like you’re asking him to come back to you. This is way more anti-climactic than you imagined.

He steps closer to you. “Look in my eyes and tell me you’re purposefully missing that flight, and not because you’re guilty or sorry or whatever but because you want this, you want me. And you want to be with me.”

You cup his cheeks and look into his eyes as he asked, caressing his skin that you’ve missed feeling against yours.

“All of those, Kim Seokjin. That was kinda long but yes, I want to be with you.”

He releases a deep, long sigh, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against yours as he tries to get his heartbeat to steady. He was already thinking of the worst - you, leaving and having a great time with Namjoon, possibly remembering what his love felt like up close and then deciding that’s what you want.

“Were you thinking this whole time that I was going to Hong Kong and then make up my mind there that I don’t want to work this out with you anymore? That I was just going to leave you without talking about it?” You ask. “And what was that, signing divorce papers without consulting me?”

“Well, divorcing was our original plan. It was our out,” he reasons. “And I thought you wanted out.”

“That was before everything changed, Jin.”

“Yeah, but then I screwed up and hurt you so bad and you didn’t talk to me for weeks—”

“I was upset and you didn’t talk to me for weeks. You’re supposed to be the one to reach out,” you pout.

“And then you said that Namjoon wanted to meet and you were going to go and you said before that you both just had to talk to finally figure out what you were going to do and—”

“And it didn’t automatically mean getting together while I was still married to you. I couldn’t do that to you, Jin,” you respond, wanting him to understand that while you’d been scared and confused, leaving him that way was never your plan, and you’ve come to learn that leaving at all isn’t what you want.

You did have plans to talk things out with Namjoon, but running away with him while you had a husband back home was never an option. You hate to think that Jin thought of it that way, that he’d been scared you’d leave him the first chance you got, and he had to make the hard decision so that you wouldn’t have to.

“You didn’t go to the awarding ceremony. Your brother said he told you that you could go but you didn’t. And I was waiting for you up to the last minute. It felt like you were slipping away and I didnt… I didn’t know how to pull you back,” he trails, his voice softening at the memory of that night and how he felt so alone, so lonely, thinking that’s what life would be like without you.

“I know,” your voice cracks at how he looked that night, so heartbroken and disappointed. “I’m so sorry, Jin. I didn’t feel like I was ready; I didn’t know how to face you, to be with you. I was confused and—”

“Confused about what you felt for me?”

You nod in response.

“Are you still confused now?”

“Not anymore, dummy. I’m here,” you pout again.

“What changed?” He softens, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, still trying his best to process you being here, in front of him, telling him you want to be with him.

“I don’t know. I guess it always just felt different with you, in a way that I didn’t care for at the start because I wasn’t used to this; I wasn’t used to you,” you try to explain. “All the ones I’d been with always demanded something more from me, or something that wasn’t me. And Namjoon was the one person who didn’t. All he asked was for me to wait but I’d been holding back on other good things because of that, and because of the fear that someone else couldn’t love me right but you were unfamiliar because you were good, and you were here. And realizing that - that you could love me… I guess I just needed to let that sink in. I just needed to accept that I deserve that. And maybe I just needed a push.”

“But I still hurt you and I’m so sorry,” Jin says, wiping the lone tear that rolls down your cheek, his heart hurting at hearing the things you’ve kept to yourself, unable to share them with him.

“That’s past us now, okay? I mean, I was hurt and upset but I really missed you and I just didn’t know how to move forward,” you continue. “But it was like a coin flip, you know, seeing the divorce papers and realizing what they meant. And I just knew immediately what I wanted and it was clear… I couldn’t lose you, I couldn’t walk away from you, and I didn’t want you to let me go.”

“I won’t,” he sniffs, smiling as he wipes your tear-stained cheeks again. “And I’d have to say that that was cheesy and cute and I’m gonna make fun of you later but for now, may I kiss you, Mrs. Kim?”

You playfully smack his arm.

“Please?” He laughs this time, and you can’t help but join him but also gush at how adorable he’s being.

“You may, Mr. Kim.”

Jin pulls you by the waist, his smile getting softer and softer the closer he gets to you. He kisses your nose first, earning him a groan, and then your lips a few times. You get impatient and cup his cheeks to keep him in place, deepening the kiss now.

With his tightening grip on your waist, your hands travel to the back of his neck, tugging the ends of his hair. The act elicits a moan from him, as he quickly gets lost in your taste, but it’s different this time, he thinks. There’s more desire, more yearning, and he can’t wait to do this everyday for the rest of his life.

He seeks entrance and you immediately let him in, your mind feeling hazy at how good this feels - his adept tongue, his plush, satin lips, his moans that are causing your mind to imagine how much louder they can get.

You want more of him, all of him all at once, but you also want to take him in more slowly, to let yourself savor all that’s good, to touch what’s real and what’s here with your bare hands.

You pull away as you slowly lose your breath.

“Hmm, I was half expecting you to taste like whiskey this time,” you tease.

“Oh, god,” he groans, doing that cute thing of covering his face with his hand and having that smile when he’s embarrassed. “That is never gonna happen again. I got so much shit from Yoongi and Tae after that night.”

“As you deserved. That was incredibly irresponsible,” you playfully smack his chest. “And all the beer and crap in your room?”

“I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know how to deal with uh, heartbreak,” he sighs.

“Then how did you deal with it before?” You ask, following it up with saying that Tae told you about Nabi when he was passed out.

“I focused on work, kept people at a distance,” he shrugs. “That, uh, that included Seri.”

“Is that why you never introduced her to your family? Why you never went public about her?”

“Pretty much. I realized I wasn’t fully in it to begin with, and even when I kept trying, I just couldn’t,” he shares. “And she kinda felt it, too. She’s a lot more perceptive than I thought, and I didn’t even realize that until it ended.”

“Is she okay, though?” You wonder, sincerely worrying about her.

“Last I heard, yeah. But we don’t keep in touch, so don’t worry about it.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry, too, for accusing you of seeing her behind my back,” you frown, earning you a soft smile from your husband and a comforting kiss on the forehead. “I was so caught up in all the emotions.”

“It’s okay; I understood where you were coming from.”

“But she really seemed to like you, and I liked her, too,” you add.

“Yeah, but then I like you and you like me, so where does that leave us?”

“I don’t recall confessing, though,” you tease.

“Yah! I can’t take another heartbreak, please,” he pouts.

“I’m kidding, come here,” you smile, pulling him close for another long, deep kiss. “I’d love to continue this but I’m starving. Can we do some husband-and-wife thing and cook dinner?”

“You mean the husband thing of me cooking our dinner, right?” He huffs, pulling you towards the kitchen as you cheekily smile. “Fine. Jjajjangmyeon and pork belly, then. Like old times.”

“Oh come on, that wasn’t even a year ago,” you chuckle.

“Can you just give me my moment, please?” He glares at you.

“No, because now I can tease and then kiss you right after,” you state, leaning over the kitchen counter to peck his lips.

“You’re already giving me a headache,” he laughs, shaking his head.

“I can always give you a massage,” you wink, giggling incessantly at his reddened ears and the soft smile that doesn’t leave his face.

You head to your room after dinner and take a shower, feeling the long day and the rollercoaster ride of emotions drain from your body.

It’s liberating, being able to feel, and being able to acknowledge that feeling. You’ve been keeping it at bay, not bothering to look deeper and try to understand what it meant.

Just like what happened in France when you started to realize the comfort of being with Jin and how it would feel like being with him, you just took everything else after at face value. You took his closeness as being more comfortable, his affection as still part of the act, and the sex as his need for some stress release. You just took them for what they were and what you wanted to believe what they were because it was more convenient for you that way - no need to be confused, to be worried, to be scared of what’s new, of what’s different. Of what’s better.

But knowing what it's like to almost lose him, it’s like feeling the rope slip right through your hands and your initial reaction was to pull so hard to not lose it, and that’s what it was like. It was all too fast and too much and you knew right then that you didn’t want to let go. Any later and it would’ve been too late - he would’ve pulled away before you even realized he was trying to pull you back in.

You think of all the possibilities now, of what you and Jin can finally be, and there’s anxiety and excitement at the same time, and you’re going to be embracing that part of the relationship, too.

You finally exit the bathroom in your nightgown - a black, lacy one just because.

“I thought you realized you made a mistake and were figuring out how to tell me,” Jin says from the bed, seated and leaning against the headboard as he watches you walk towards him. “I figured maybe that’s why you took so long.”

“I was still processing everything, okay,” you correct. “And if you could see me, I was smiling like an idiot the whole time. It was weird.”

“Well, I could’ve seen you but you didn’t offer.”

“Hey!” You say, wide-eyed. “One at a time. I’m still getting used to this.”

“Is that why you’re in sexy sleepwear for the first time?” He smirks. “Making up for our wedding night?”

“Shut up,” you say, crawling on top of him to straddle him. “Just thought that I don’t have to hide from you anymore, and I mean clothes-wise.”

“That’s right, you don’t. But you could be naked or wrapped in the ugliest Christmas sweatshirt and I’d still want you. Promise.”

“Oh, what a charmer,” you roll your eyes. “But thank you. You could also be wearing a potato sack and you’d still be the most handsome man ever.”

“Well duh. It’s my face, it’s part of me,”

“You’re annoying,” you tease, kissing his nose and his puffy cheeks. “But it’s okay, I think I can live with that.”

“At least you know how I feel,” he huffs, earning him another smack from you.

You settle comfortably next to him now, laying your head on his chest with your arm around his waist, while his one hand caresses it and his other affectionately plays with your hair.

“I'm really sorry, Jin,” you hum. “I hate to imagine that you were waiting here all this time, thinking I was really going to leave you for good.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assures, kissing your forehead. “You came on time. I was about to go to a 24-hour arcade place and probably lose all my wealth and my sanity there,” he chuckles, and you just hang onto him tighter, forcing the image of a helpless Jin, all alone, if you hadn’t come.

“You’ll never run out of money, though. But yeah, you’ll probably lose your mind,” you huff. “I’m just glad I opened my carry-on when I did. Otherwise, I would’ve found the papers when I was already there. I guess that would’ve been harder.”

“Were you looking for anything in your bag?” He asks. “Just curious. I know you like putting everything in your purse so you don’t have to open your carry-on for anything.”

“Uh… I was trying to get my mind off you, actually. You hugged me like it was goodbye and there was just this sinking feeling I couldn’t shake. So I tried to look for the envelope that had Namjoon’s letters so I’d think of him. But then I saw the papers instead.”

“Seemed like a sign,” he hums.

“It was. And so I asked Mr. Lim to drive back here and he just drove faster without me telling him to,” you chuckle. “I guess he just knew.”

Jin hums again, continuing to comb your hair and essentially massaging your head, causing you to get a little sleepy. It’s been quite a day and your heart is actually still pounding.

“How, uh, how’s Namjoon, by the way? How did he take it?” Jin wonders.

You think back to the car ride earlier, how you’d asked Mr. Lim to turn back and head home, and the phone call that you made on the way here.

“Hey, ___. Are you in the airport already?” Namjoon had asked after he picked up the phone and you greeted him. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Joon, I won’t make it,” you’d mumbled, trying to figure out until then how to tell him everything. But you’ve always been honest with each other, and he’d always known what was going on with you and Jin, except for what happened recently. “I’m so sorry, but I want… I want to work it out with Jin. And I need to tell him that, I need to show him that. I can’t wait any longer,” you sighed. “I can’t leave, Joon. I need to tell him how I feel.”

There was a pause before he responded, the tinge of sadness and acceptance, unmissable in his voice. “I understand, ___. Does he, uh, does he love you?”

“He does.”

“What about you?”

“I will,” you responded, “or I guess, I’m starting to.”

“That’s really great to know, ___. You deserve love and happiness more than anyone,” he’d said, and somehow you could hear the smile on his face as he comforted you and told you that it was okay, that he still had other options but that you were his biggest consideration for taking the one in Incheon. He’d said he hopes you both could still catch up every once in a while, and maybe see each other again, too.

“Thank you, Joon. That really means a lot.” Your voice cracked at the sound of his voice, how it slowly softened, gradually losing the vigor it earlier had. “I’ll go ahead now, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry I took so long.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you said, feeling like you’d finally let go of the rope that had connected you to him all these years. It felt final, but it also didn’t feel like the end. “Take care of yourself. I’ll see you around.”

“Joon was fine,” you tell Jin, as you wrap your whole body around him to try to get to feel him more, to remind you that he’s right next to you, and you’re not going to lose him any time soon. “I told him that you loved me enough to let me go, and he just understood.”

“He let you go, too.”

“I think he was just waiting for me to be the one to walk away,” you say. “Maybe I’m his dead star, too.”

You wake up the next morning in the same position as you were last night. You and Jin fell asleep after talking and teasing and laughing way past midnight, something that you missed doing after your vacation in France. You caught up on the last 2 weeks of being apart, of how conversations with Yoongi and Taehyung, and your conversations with your friends and Hoseok, went.

Feeling all that you did after everything that happened made you exhausted somehow. Your heart was racing for most of the night and you only got to calm down when you laid next to Jin, with him assuring you that he’s not hurt or upset anymore with what happened, and he’s just excited to see how your life together will be like from here on out. You can’t deny the excitement, too, and it’s something you want to share with your friends.

“They’re gonna freak out,” he says in his gruff voice, his fingers drawing patterns on your shoulder.

“Out of joy, probably,” you agree, stretching a little. “These 2 idiots finally figured it out and they’ll take credit, for sure.”

“My brother will do that,” Jin chuckles, gazing at you now. “Looking back, we really had no choice. But I’m glad we had France.”

“I’m glad we had France,” you repeat, smiling as he presses his soft lips against yours, and you get lost in them right away.

They’re just pecks but they’re so tender, so loving, and downright hypnotic, as he moves to your jaw and then your neck, shifting so he’s now on top of you. He nips on your clothed nipples, lifting your nightgown so he can plant kisses on your torso, too.

You moan from the pleasure, and he hasn’t even done much yet, but you feel so deprived, so starved, and well, apparently literally starving, too.

“___, that was a growl. Why are you so hungry?” He asks, as he continues to laugh while kissing your bare stomach.

“I don’t know,” you pout. “But I want you now, please.”

“Huh, so now you do? That’s not what you said last night,” he teases, recalling how you claimed wanting to have sex but being too tired to do so.

“I was still processing us, okay? And I just wanted to cuddle. But now I want more,” you say, trying your best at puppy-dog eyes but failing, as Jin just laughs even harder.

“You want food, that’s what you want. I’m gonna be so distracted by your stomach growling.”

“Rude,” you frown this time.

“Come on, I know you. You don’t like doing things on an empty stomach, whether it’s sex or not,” he states, and you can’t really deny that observation. “Do you want me to cook for you or we ask Mrs. Kang?”

He’s pulling you up now then off the bed, ready to drag you to the bathroom.

“I’ll make it,” you say. “I’ll see you downstairs, okay?”

You wash up a bit and he does the same in the bathroom of his bedroom. You walk downstairs and prepare the ingredients for some bacon kimchi fried rice - easy and filling. You quickly message your best friends a summary of what happened last night, and they spam the group chat with all the curses possible, demands of how everything went down, and a request to crash your place tonight.

Jin trudges downstairs and then watches you fry the bacon, looking so comfortable and sexy and so domestic. He’d witnessed this same scene so many times before and he always liked seeing you in your element. The way your face easily switched from smiling to frowning to satisfied in seconds always amused him, and there’s an added layer now in seeing you this way. You’re cooking, in this home you’ve created together, and there’s no holding back now.

That’s why he walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist, tucking his head in the crook of your neck and taking in your natural morning scent with the smokiness of bacon and kimchi. This is how he wants his home with you to smell like, and the thought makes his insides twist in excitement.

“Yah! This is cute but you know better than to distract someone who’s cooking,” you groan.

“I’m not distracting you; I’m cuddling you,” he corrects.

“Kim Seokjin, your dick is hard and it’s poking my ass.”

He merely grumbles in response, keeping his position despite you wiggling about.

“Is that still from kissing me in bed, hmm?”

“No, it’s from seeing you like this,” he responds, kissing your neck and your cheek until you’re yelping and laughing and telling him to stop.

He finally detaches himself from you and sits on the kitchen counter, watching you cook the kimchi and the rice now.

With his chin resting on his palm and his dreamy eyes gazing at you, he states that “fuck, you’re so hot.”

You choke on air, as it’s something you didn’t expect him to say… while you’re in your now-wholesome set of lounge wear and cooking breakfast. You remind yourself that you find him pretty hot doing basic stuff, too, but then again, you’re not Kim Seokjin, so he’s probably just disillusioned.

Your frowning face and shake of the head tell him you don’t believe him.

“What! It’s true!” He argues. “This is what being in love is like. I almost forgot. But then again, the last time I was in love was when I was 25 and she and I didn’t live together.”

“Yeah, so now may I remind you that since we live together, there will probably be times when we can’t stand each other, but we’re still gonna have to stand by each other, okay?” You say, recalling what your dad had said a few days ago.

“Of course. Your snoring was really loud last night but I still held you in your sleep.”

“Yah! You’re already getting on my nerves,” you scowl at your laughing husband.

“I’m kidding, but yes, I know. I also know we’re gonna be fine.”

“I know that, too,” you smile, plating the food while he pours the coffee in mugs.

You both start to eat, talking about your worst habits like you’re getting to know each other all over again despite having been living together for almost a year. You’re laughing at Jin’s tendency to lie down on the floor when he’s stressed when you hear someone gasp. Turning your heads, you find a surprised Mrs. Kang, suddenly in tears as she covers her mouth.

“Oh, my darlings,” she chirps, dropping the honorifics as you ask her to but she rarely listens. “My eyes aren’t deceiving me, right? Are you finally together?”

She glances at Jin drawing patterns on your knee. The absence of distance between you two pretty much gives your situation away.

“We are,” you giggle. “I’m sorry if we gave you a headache about our fight a few weeks ago. We promise it won’t be that bad ever again.”

“Oh, I trust you both. But I’m just so glad you’ve both finally found your happiness in each other,” she smiles, holding both your hands. “Our Seokjinnie has found love once again.”

Jin’s ears redden, and you gush at how adorable he looks. You reckon that Mrs. Kang had tried to keep things still a little “professional” and formal, given the situation, so perhaps now, she feels like she can be more comfortable around you, too.

“Anyway, I'll clean up here, okay? You two can go ahead.”

So you and Jin do, walking up the stairs and into your room so he could help you unpack your things from your canceled trip.

“Mrs. Kang is so cute; I didn’t expect her to be that emotional,” you say. “My friends are already driving me crazy about it. But I wonder how Yoongi will react, and even our brothers!”

“They’ll freak out, obviously. Yoongi called earlier asking how I was because he was sure that Mrs. Kang would be calling him for help about me, but she didn’t. I have a feeling he’s gonna be so happy, though, same with Tae.”

“Cute,” you giggle. “Jungkook and Dara will probably threaten you and say they’ll cut off your dick if you screw up. Jimin won’t say anything because he’s your employee but he’s a little devil, too, so he can still ruin you.”

“How encouraging. I appreciate the warning,” he laughs. “But what do you say, let’s have them over tonight? I’ve been so devoid of human interaction the past 2 weeks.”

“You’re so dramatic,” you roll your eyes. “My friends already said they’d crash but sure, let’s have them over and volunteer ourselves to be roasted.”

And that’s pretty much what happens - they all come over for some grilled steak and lamb over beer, and have both of you to narrate the entirety of last night, with the background commentary from Jungkook and Dara. It was all going well, and you and Jin managed to get them to behave this time unlike Dara’s party, until Taehyung calls and demands you and his brother to go to The Belle Club Lounge since Hyun-a wanted to rent it for her friends just because.

You and Jin immediately say no since you’re hosting your friends, but the younger Kim invites all of them, and Dara gets so excited that she drops to her knees and begs you to go and bring them, and you couldn’t say no to her once-in-a-blue-moon puppy-dog eyes.

And it’s why you’re now here, lounging at a cocktail table at the exclusive club, donned in an ivory-colored satin slip-on dress, and unable to keep your eyes off your husband sitting next to you. With his deep-cut burgundy satin top under a floral printed jacket, it’s hard not to. He even had the audacity to wear a gold necklace!

“Is it working?” He asks with a smirk.

“What’s working?” You arch an eyebrow.

“Are you falling in love with me yet?”

“So that’s why you’ve got your whole chest out, huh?” You cross your arms. “You’re trying to seduce me, leaving your top half unbuttoned, is that it?”

“This doesn’t have buttons,” he chuckles. “It’s just this low and I never thought I’d ever wear it when Tae bought it for me when I went with him to France before the wedding, but here we are.”

“Hmm, makes sense. I didn’t think you would willingly buy something that sexy,” you tease.

“Hey, I can be daring!”

“Jin, the most you expose is your neck, and thank god that’s sexy enough,” you chuckle.

“Ah, so you find the neck sexy, then,” he smirks again, angling and caressing it to tease you now, earning him a light smack on his arm. “But seriously though, does it suit me?”

“I’m kinda torn because I could swear every person has done a double-take every time they passed by here and I don’t know how to say, like, uh, this hot man is my husband, please look away,” you state. “But it looks really great on you, okay? And you don’t need to show skin if you’re uncomfortable just so I’d fall in love with you. That can totally happen whether you’re covered in plastic wrap or now. You’re that hot, and handsome.”

Jin laughs animatedly, amused by your lack of filter this time around. He always felt that you and Dara are opposites in terms of your appreciation and expression of sexiness, since your best friend is much more vocal about it, so it’s quite refreshing and even a turn on that you’re being a little more expressive than usual.

“That’s good to know,” he smiles sweetly now. “I don’t know, I was thinking that I’m not just dressing as the Kim Foods President anymore, you know? I’m dressing up now as your husband who wants to impress you.”

You hum, internally gushing and laughing because this beautiful ass man of royalty really wants to keep impressing you, a commoner, with his looks.

“That’s sweet,” you hum, getting off your seat to stand next to him. “If you also wanted to turn me on, it’s working, too.”

You gaze at him as you settle yourself in between his legs as he remains seated on the stool, eyeing you curiously as your hand caresses his thigh. It slowly makes its way up his torso, your fingers grazing the exposed skin.

“Good, that means we can finally do something more tonight, then?” He asks, the earlier smug face he had on turning a bit more worried, shy.

More. Of course, you want that, too. Since you laid in bed last night with him up to today before your friends came over, you just wanted to feel all of him again. Other than being tired but also wanting to revel in his laughter and softness, you’re also quite nervous, something you verbalize to him as he caresses your cheek.

“Why?” he asks.

“I guess there are expectations now,” you shrug. “I wanna be able to pleasure you, to make you feel good. And do something with you that isn’t just fucking but you know, something more meaningful.”

“Those are valid concerns, but concerns you shouldn’t worry about,” he assures you. “I still think about the last time, even if it meant different things for us. You make me feel good, okay?” Whispering in your ear, he adds. “You’ll know when you hear me. I’m never that loud.”

Something about the way he says it with his low, gruff voice makes you shiver, reminding you of how good and vocal he was when you first had sex. And you could only imagine how much better it’s going to be this time around.

“Looking forward to that, then,” you hum, kissing him softly now and tasting the bitter taste of the beer on his lips. “Maybe when we get home later?” You ask after you pull away.

“I’d say we check-in the hotel now but I guess I can wait a bit more. I know we still have responsibilities and that includes making sure your friends get home safely,” Jin points out. “Looks like they’re thoroughly enjoying the free drinks that my brother’s giving them.”

You turn towards the bar where Taehyung, as the social butterfly that he is, now has his arm over Jungkook’s shoulder while also making Dara laugh. He’s got the bartender giving another round of shots to them, and when Hyun-a arrives, who links arms with Jimin, she asks for another. They’re all joking around and acting like they’ve known each other for years, leaving you and your husband shaking your heads because those 5 together can definitely mean chaos. You’re already agreeing that you won’t have all of them in your house all at the same time.

They set their sights on you and you already know they’re gonna be pushing your buttons.

“Body shot!” Taehyung yells then cheekily smiles at you. “This would’ve been a thing at your wedding or mine but you and my brother were still complicated back then.”

“We weren’t complicated, okay? What we had was the simplest relationship I ever had!” You try to correct.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” he answers back, pouring the tequila in glasses and asking the server for some salt and lime. “But come on, a body shot each.”

“Why does it have to be a body shot, though? We’ll just take 3 shots each,” you bargain.

“Those won’t even make a dent in your system so what’s the point? At least a body shot will be entertaining. And that’s why we’re all here!”

Taehyung is convincing, so is Hyun-a, after Jin points out that it’s a social event and there are people around; it won’t look good for both of you, he says.

“Jin, you and ___ are 2 of the very few people in this room who don’t have a stain on their records, no scandal or whatever, okay?” she counters. “Literally no one is gonna bat an eye at a body shot.”

You turn to your husband who seems to be thinking about it, and well, your sister-in-law is right - you doubt people would give a shit. Everyone in this club has been minding their own business all night. Jin seems to be thinking the same as he shrugs and nods at you.

“As long as you’re okay,” he says.

“Yeah, I guess. Let’s be that fun couple,” you tease yourselves.

He chuckles, takes a shot glass, and plays it safe by choosing to lick the salt off your neck.

You feel your heartbeat quicken as he places the lime on your mouth. For a married couple, this seems like nothing, but you and Jin literally just got together last night, and you’re only just getting used to all the sexual things he’s making you feel and want. And when he downs the tequila - no doubt the view of his bobbing Adam’s apple making you all hot - you feel the noise in the club fade away, and there’s just you and him. His tongue against your skin sends a shiver in your whole body, and even if his lips merely graze yours, you moan loud enough for him to hear.

Everyone in your little circle hoots and laughs, visibly amused at seeing this side of your husband.

Jin smiles that smile he usually has on when he’s flustered, and you know if the lights weren’t dim, his ears would be bright red and it wouldn’t be from the alcohol.

“Your turn,” he smirks.

You take the shot glass and make a show by acting like you don’t know where you want to put the salt. But you gently push his shoulder back, suck your fingers to wet them, then roll them on his chest, right on his exposed sternum that’s been teasing you all night.

“That okay?” You ask, earning you a nod from him.

You do the whole routine, taking the shot, sucking the salt from his skin more than licking it, then lightly kissing his lips this time as you bite from the lime.

“There you go!” Dara hoots, her smug face making you feel even more flustered.

You cover your face in embarrassment as they all tease and shriek.

This isn’t really like you. Your socialization in college was study groups and coffee shops and house parties that saw you taking care of a drunk Dara most of the time. And when you got with your ex, he isolated you from your friends that you barely went out, as he liked keeping you with him at his place, so there was no space for things like this - like fun and excitement, something to laugh and talk and tease about.

You turn to them, giggling, and Dara whispers to you that that was cute and sexy and she’s glad you feel comfortable enough with Jin and them.

When the DJ plays a popular song, your friends, Taehyung, and Hyun-a all head to the dance floor, and you motion for them to go ahead because that isn’t your scene, so they leave you with your husband, who pulls you flushed against his chest and wraps his arms around your waist.

“That was pretty hot,” he whispers in your ear. “We should play those drinking games at home when it’s just the two of us, for fun.”

“Hmm, that would be nice,” you turn to him with a cheeky smile, your hands traveling around his neck now. “We’ll have some cheese and chocolates, maybe have our clothes off. Maybe a nice, hot bath, too?”

“Are you laying out our plans for tomorrow?” He cocks an eyebrow.

It does sound nice. Even just cuddling in bed with him sounds nice. Even going to the market or strolling around a mall or a park would be fine. Or reading a book while he plays his games. Or just lounging around, talking and laughing and making more plans. You know that anything with him will be nice and fun and something to look forward to. You didn’t think it would feel this good to not just wait on a promise to be fulfilled but to actually know that it will happen, that plans will push through this time around.

That there’s someone to come home to; that someone will be coming home to you.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” He nudges your nose with his after your prolonged silence.

“Our plans for tomorrow, and everyday after that,” you smile. “I’m thinking about how I’m just looking forward to it - going to work with you, maybe having lunch together, what we’ll have for dinner, weekend plans…”

“What do you mean, maybe having lunch together?” He frowns. “Who would I eat with? And who would you eat with?”

“You have lunch meetings all the time, Jin. Or when you don’t, you’re working and eating,” you say. “And Jimin and I are literally best friends! We eat together all the time. You’re just a workaholic.”

“Yah!” He says, tickling your waist. “I won’t argue with being a workaholic but I’m literally your husband. And we literally work in the same company.”

“I’ll think about it,” you tease, but his playful smile tells you that he doesn’t really mind.

You both start swaying off beat, going slow despite the party music in the background. You’re probably the only two people standing by the cocktail tables, dancing in their own world, just basking in each other’s presence, surprised you’re both even lasting this long in a club that’s decisively not your scene. But it still feels nice - being with your friends, seeing them enjoy themselves, while still having these intimate moments with Jin.

“Remember when we were dancing during your grandfather’s birthday?” You smile. “I was so nervous then because you looked so handsome and you were so close to me.”

“Ah, right. I noticed you being a little flustered. I think that’s when you started having a crush on me,” he teases.

“In your dreams, Mr. I’m Handsome All the Time,” you playfully roll your eyes. “But yeah, I was a little flustered. But it was nice. Even the soft kiss we had was nice. It was so easy to like it, you know? I mean, even then when we were just playing a role and pretending, it felt nice.”

“What about Taehyung’s wedding when we danced? I was pretty stunning then, too.”

“You are so annoying,” you knee his thigh. “But also very correct. You look amazing in powder blue. Definitely one of my favorite looks.”

“That’s nice to know,” he smiles proudly. “But I was the one who was nervous then. Things were changing for me and I just wanted that moment to last even if at that time, I wasn’t supposed to.”

You know what he means, and while it seems like there’s still more to say about Seri and what happened between them and in relation to you, you somehow feel like they don’t matter as much. It’s all over, he’s assured you that much, and you don’t want either of you to dwell on the past tonight. Or ever.

Tonight, it’s just you and him in your little bubble. So you just smile at him, and he knows what you mean, too.

You stay like that for a while until you complain about your feet hurting from your heels, so you both sit down, and watch Dara and Jimin link arms and twirl around like the drunk people that they are. Jungkook catches them before they both fall face first, and that’s your cue to get going.

“Alright, children. Time to go home,” you say when they finally make it to your table. “We’ll drop you off one-by-one, okay? Then go straight to bed. Kook, I’m looking at you.”

“Fine, whatever,” he pouts, given that he likes to play his games and box during odd hours even when he’s just come from drinking.

You say your goodbyes to Taehyung and Hyun-a, who say that they'll see you all again next time, and you and Jin look at each other and wordlessly agree that it’ll take some time before you do this again. Marrying a fellow homebody has its advantages.

Your friends, who are more sober now, are dropped off in their homes one after the other, and you and Jin are exhausted by the time you get back to yours. But not enough, apparently, as he pulls you towards him for a deep kiss right when you enter you bedroom.

You sigh into the kiss, feeling your body burn from the immediate pleasure it gives you. It’s odd, feeling this desire for him unlocked and freely expressed, and very clearly reciprocated, too.

“Wanted this dress off of you the moment you put it on,” he groans against your neck, nipping at the flesh.

He removes the straps on your shoulders and lets the satin piece of cloth slide down your body, his hands immediately finding purchase in your breasts once he’s removed your bra, too.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t want you to remove this nice top you have on until I say so,” you tell him sultrily. The color and the exposed chest are too sexy for you and you want to savor it longer.

He mumbles his agreement, as he’s now descended to devour your breasts, his expert tongue knowing exactly how to twirl it around your pert buds while his hand - large yet soft and slender - kneads whichever is free.

You’re panting, as you try to rein in the pleasure, wanting to feel every bit of fire that he lights within you and across your body with every movement of his on yours, and with every moan he lets fall from his perfect lips because of how good you feel.

His other free hand continues to graze the side of your thigh before pulling down your underwear, then finds its way to your hip that’s been grinding against nothing the past few minutes. You’re throbbing, he finds out, once his fingers toy with your nub and slip inside your wet folds.

He moans a curse on your breast, and you moan in return.

“Fuck, Jin, that’s so good,” you hiss, as you feel his two fingers - long and skilled - travel to that spot that has you keening immediately. “Fuck, keeping going.”

With his mouth still doing wonders on your breast, he gazes up at you with those deep-set eyes again as he continues attacking your pussy, his thumb now tracing circles on your clit that has you tiptoeing and arching in intense pleasure.

“I won’t stop until you ask me to,” he says as he stands, detaching from your chest now before he proceeds to take you in his mouth again, his tongue now seeking dominance over yours.

The kiss is deep and passionate and literally takes your breath away, as you feel your body going numb for a bit before your legs start to shake, signaling your impending orgasm.

“Fuck, yes, I’m close,” you cry out, your mouth parting and eyes shutting to let yourself just feel and to just let go.

You do, with a low grumble of more curses and your tired voice asking him to stop. He slows down then halts, smiling at your fucked out face that he can now fully savor and appreciate without needing to pretend or hold back.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbles as he softly kisses your cheeks, then your forehead, then your nose, then your lips again. He finishes by licking your essence from his fingers with a wink.

You swallow hard, feeling as if every action of his will send you down the path of another orgasm despite still being hazy from one. In response, your hand grips his top as you continue to come down from your high.

“You’re beautiful, too,” you pant. “Now may I have those trousers and underwear off? Keep the polo, please.”

He does as you ask, holding your gaze as he unbuttons his pants and removes it with his boxers, revealing the effect that you had on him. You move towards him for another kiss while your hand wraps around his hardened cock, angry and waiting for you. You moan at the feel of him and he responds to you with his own guttural sound when you slowly tighten your hold around him and pump him a few times.

“Fuck, you have such a good grip,” he mumbles against your lips. “I could come from just this.”

“Except you won’t,” you respond. “Not until you’re inside me.”

He silently curses again and you giggle at his reactions, then you nudge him to walk backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. It’s as if he just knows what you want, as he makes his way to prop himself against the headboard, polo still on but slightly lifted to reveal his abs, deliciously glistening with sweat. You eye your seat - his taut thighs waiting for you.

You crawl towards him on the bed, keeping his legs between yours, and you get a full view of Jin with his hooded eyes and parted mouth, who’s also getting a full view of you, completely naked and clearly wanting all of him.

Hand finding his dick again, you rub your sopping cunt against it for lubrication before stroking his member until you have a good pace going and he’s moaning curses under his breath.

You’re basking in how he looks, his chest heaving underneath that sexy piece of satin he has on, and even that is making your mind short-circuit. Truly, with or without clothes, Kim Seokjin is a sight to behold.

“Shit, you’re so sexy it’s kinda unfair,” you mumble, mapping the exposed skin with your fingers.

“How is that unfair when you’re my wife and you get to enjoy all this, anytime you want to?” He bites back, earning him a shrug. “But really, you like this polo a lot, huh?”

He shifts in a more comfortable position as he just watches you massage his dick while you ogle his form, taking this time to slow down his heart rate as well.

“I know it’s an expensive top and it matches your face.”

“Tae bought it in France. It was the other thing he gave me aside from the navy custom baseball cap.”

“Oh shit, that’s hot, too,” you moan. At this point, you’re just imagining his different looks and getting turned on by them, something he picks up and chuckles at.

“Can I take this polo off now? Want your hands all over me,” he smirks.

How he can ask your permission and then state what he wants you to do to him is making you even wetter, and you’re only able to nod as you watch him remove his top with one hand, leaving his bare body glistening under you.

This man is really carved from perfection.

His tiny waist looks delicate against his abs - formed enough that you see the lines and the dips that make him all the more sexy. His chest is hard and soft at the same time - there’s that strength and the smoothness, punctuated by his dark nipples and decorated with his collarbones that are protruding beautifully towards his shoulders. Those are broad and sturdy, and you remember sitting on them at the beach and feeling so comfortable and secure in them. And his neck, another sinful part of him - long and immaculate and so hypnotic. You haven’t even gotten to his face yet.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” you say for the nth time tonight, feeling the desire heighten now that you’re able to take in most of him.

There’s a fire in your belly that you want to keep going. This man is your husband. You get to savor this everyday. And he wants you.

You give him another light squeeze before you raise yourself and align his cock with your entrance.

“This okay?” You ask nervously.

“Nothing’s holding us back anymore, love,” he responds, noting your sweet little smile at the nickname. “Want to be inside you, please.”

At his plea, you sink into him, your wet walls welcoming him like he’s meant to be there. He moans your name while you let out a sigh, letting yourself savor the feel of him as you slowly rock back and forth, his dick hitting you just how you want it to.

His luscious lips are so inviting, and that’s what you attack first - soft and plump, and you lick and nip and suck as you please.

He responds by bucking his hips against you - gentle yet wanting - and you get so lost in him as you kiss him heatedly, your tongue dominating his mouth now. It’s intense, as your hands have found their way to his hair. You’re pulling and raking your fingers against his scalp and you know he likes this, so you keep going.

When you pull away, you smirk at his swollen lips. You trail down his jaw, then his neck, sucking him there, too. You don’t want him to forget this the next morning, maybe get him flustered when he dresses up and sees the marks you’ve left him. You want him to remember tonight and feel good, feel what you want him to feel, all the pleasure and desire that you’re now embracing and showing him.

He moans and thrusts against you continuously, as you both take your time and savor each other this way. Your hands map his torso while his own grip the bed sheet, trying not to get too carried away lest he comes this soon.

Your mouth now travels to his chest, briefly looking at his fucked out face before you twirl your tongue around his hardened buds. You feel his whole body moving against you, getting lost in all of this, too. You leave more marks and kisses on his torso as you start grinding harder, more purposefully.

“Let me look at you,” he says with his gruff voice.

So you sit back up, giving him that view that he wants. His thumb makes its way to your clit, rubbing and drawing patterns on it to get you even more going. You play with your breasts this time, your head lolling back at the pleasure, while his free hand grips your thigh and pulls you to meet his thrusts. This view of you with your bitten lip and heaving chest is gonna be the death of him.

His hands eventually grip you tighter as your joint thrusts get harder, faster, rougher. You hold onto his shoulders as you bounce on him now, with him securing your thighs as he meets you halfway, skin slapping against skin like music to your ears. You’ve started to yelp with every hit, your moans getting longer and louder and Jin knows where he wants you now - under him.

He wraps his arms around you before he flips you on your back, kissing you messily and then sucking your neck while he continues to go deeper, his chest flushed against your own. You spread your legs wider and he shifts for that better angle, your legs slightly raised now and that’s got you feeling him on that spot that has you keening.

“So pretty,” he hums against your lips after he’d swallowed one of your moans. “So perfect. Want you. Under me like this, moaning for me. Everyday.”

“And I’m just here, love,” you say softly, and it makes his heart melt and set on fire at the same time.

You sound so beautiful saying it, and he can’t wait for you to say it again but differently. But it doesn’t matter, as he’s balls deep inside you, feeling your velvet walls sucking him in so perfectly.

He starts to go harder, faster, and sparks another fire in your belly that you can’t contain. He’s got his arms around your body now, and your hands move from pulling his hair to caressing his back before your nails dig into and scrape that smooth, expansive plane and you hate that you have to mark that up, too. But you love that you get to do it either way.

“Keep going, fuck,” you drawl, close to crying now as the pleasure intensifies tenfold with how he’s sucking that very sensitive part of your neck. “Fuuuuck, so good,” you say, your throat drying up.

You suck in a breath and it’s like you’re losing it, and he keeps going harder, deeper, causing your thighs to tremble again, and it’s not long before you come, all at once without any warning.

You clench around him, and his face contorts as he feels it. With sloppy, off-rhythm thrusts, Jin lets out a long and deep groan as he comes, filling you with his warm essence that has you sighing in satisfaction.

He gradually stops and turns to face you, his forehead marred with sweat. Even this sight is so unfairly sexy, and he merely chuckles when you express that thought again.

“I love you,” he whispers as your joint laughter dies down.

He knows he won’t get anything in return, but your tender smile says he has nothing to worry about even if you’re unable to say it back yet.

He slumps against you, heaving. You’re sure he’s tired, and he seems adorable this way as he tries to get closer to you even more. So you comb your fingers through his hair and let your joint breathing fill the room.

Soft and flaccid inside you, he pulls out, leaving kisses on your body and your lips again before standing up. He pulls out his hand and lifts you up.

“I’ll just take a shower,” he says, heading for the door. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He winks and exits the room.

You go to the bathroom and have a warm shower.

It’s amazing how you went from pretending, to immediately shutting off any bit of compromising feelings, to almost losing Jin and now, having him this way. He makes you laugh and annoyed and smiling and flustered. He makes you want to keep working hard, to keep dreaming and planning and fulfilling all your goals. He reminds you of the beauty of the things you love - like food and travels and pretty sceneries and the sky. He makes you feel cared for and wanted and safe more than anything.

You want him, all of him, everyday. It took so long and you’re finally here. And you feel kinda silly that he has to walk out across the hall for his clothes after every time you take each other. So when you exit the bathroom and crawl to the bed, you lay on your side and face him.

“Would you like to move in with me?” You ask with a playful smile. “But then if you want us to use your room, that’s totally fine, too.”

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask,” he chuckles, “so of course but no, this room is way better.”

“Really? I thought you liked the layout of your room better, that's why you chose it?”

Your room and his are technically master bedrooms since they’re the same size, and you remember leaping for joy internally when you ended up in this room because you really liked how it laid out and the large window gives you a perfect view of the sky from your bed.

“No, I liked this one more. But I heard you tell Dara that you really liked this so I pretended,” he says, realizing that he lied at the very beginning of your relationship, so he apologizes.

But you don’t see it like that. You think it’s sweet and thoughtful, and now, you get to enjoy this room with him.

“Let’s start moving your things here tomorrow, then,” you suggest.

“Hmm, and then can we do this again?” He smirks.

“Of course, love,” you wink, then proceed to laugh when the tips of his ears turn red. “What! You started it!”

“It’s just cute when you say it,” he says. He yawns and kisses you deeply one last time tonight. “Let’s go to bed. Good night, love.”

You fall asleep immediately, face-to-face like before, but with your arms on each other’s waists, as if saying you won’t ever let go, not in this lifetime.

It’s been a blissful few months with Jin.

You visited your family in Gwangju the weekend after you both made up, and your parents quickly warmed up to him after he cooked them a full meal in apology from several months ago. Hoseok gave Jin the talk about not hurting you again, and your brother passed up on threatening him with a punishment after you said that Jungkook and Jimin have that covered.

You start to see his family a lot more, too, and nothing feels more liberating than not having to pretend in front of them anymore, especially as they continue to treat you as well as they do.

And when it’s just you and Jin, it’s every bit freeing and exciting and comfortable as you imagined.

Between the morning rides to the office where you’re both bickering again, to the occasional lunches out that sometimes include Jimin and Yoongi, to the weekend market runs and kitchen experiments after seeing a recipe you both like, you and your husband learn more about each other in the simple and intimate things that you both do.

And with the fancy dinner dates and corner cafe finds, the weekend getaways that find you either in Jeonju or in Taiwan for a food trip, all the sex in the comforts of your home, the rare moments of spoiling you with a nice coat and the necklace pair of the couple bracelet that his grandparents got you, you and Jin also find out the enjoyable, heartwarming, and most exciting parts about being a rich married couple.

He still goes on business trips some days and you always either wake up or fall asleep to his voice messages that have you cackling and missing him at the same time. You go on your own trips, too, sending him your own voice messages that’s more teasing him than anything. You have dinner and karaoke nights with your best friends, and Taehyung and Hyun-a invite you to more parties at different clubs that now include Yoongi because Dara guilt tripped him that one time and you also think he’s really into her.

You and Jin bicker and argue and complain about each other to each other like an old married couple, but one kiss or hug then you’re like teenagers melting in a puddle and smiling like annoying idiots.

There’s always something fun to do, always something new to learn, always something heartwarming to feel, and you savor every moment you have with him.

On the first year anniversary of your wedding, he took you to Jeju. It was 3 days of snorkeling, kayak fishing, and eating, and on your first night, as you both watched the night sky and the moon was shining brightly, reminding you of what he’d been to you during those confusing times, you told him you love him. You didn’t comment on his glassy eyes, but he did fall asleep with his head on your chest, holding you tightly.

It’s been 2 weeks since that trip, and you and Jin still daydream about the pork belly from their native black pig, the abalone, and the scabbard fish dishes that had you both going to food heaven.

It’s a Saturday night and you’re in the living room, watching a variety TV show that has you both laughing incessantly. It was a tiring day, as Geonhoo turned 7 and you spent his birthday party running after Jihoo and Sungmin.

With a busy week ahead of you, you and Jin decide to just lounge tonight and cuddle. You’re currently enveloped in his body, his arms and legs locking your own, and his lips occasionally finding your neck for some sweet and teasing kisses. You ask him to let go but he holds on tighter, and you take to tickling him with all the effort you can muster, causing him to loosen his grip.

“Yah!” He yells, and you find an out and turn to him and tickle him some more until he’s weak enough for you to straddle him.

“My tummy hurts,” he pouts, and you roll your eyes at him because he’s being dramatic again.

“Mine was, too, but you didn’t mind me.”

“Just wanted to hug you, love,” he smiles cheekily.

“And I wanted to kiss you,” you counter, leaning closer but biting his cheek instead, something you’ve come to enjoy doing because they really do look like soft bread buns sometimes.

“Yah,” he yells again, though laughing this time.

But your lips find his eventually, the soft kisses turning to deep and desperate ones in no time. You’re moaning in each other’s mouths now, and you feel the slick pooling in your pussy as his hands trace the skin underneath your shirt.

“Is this what you wanted?” He asks, as he kisses your neck and grinds against you.

“Sort of,” you hum, taking your shirt off and then removing his.

He’s hypnotized by the swell of your breasts and your aching buds, but he remembers that you’re not the only ones in this house, and he’s not too keen on Mrs. Kang seeing you both in this position, something he vocalizes.

“We’ve just had dinner and she won’t come here,” you argue, rocking back and forth against his semi-hard cock. “We’re fine.”

“You’re a brat sometimes,” he chuckles, taking your breasts in his hands now and kneading them like how he likes. They’re soft and perfect just for him.

“You’re a bigger brat than I am, Kim Seokjin,” you say, moaning when he licks your nipple. “And fuck, I’m so wet now, this is your fault.”

He gasps and you laugh at his dramatic antics, but he’s so much harder now and you grind harder for that friction you badly need more of.

He groans but you know he likes it, as he leads you to lay on your back on the couch, hovering over you and kissing you senseless, teeth against teeth, swollen lips against swollen lips. You’re both so lost in each other that neither one of you hears the doorbell ring, and it’s when you both hear the front door close and Jin removes himself from you that you realize that Mrs. Kang, indeed, has come out from her room.

“Seokjin!” She chirps, walking towards the couch. “Your parents sent some abalo—”

“Stay there!” He yells frantically. “Uh, please. Don’t come any closer.”

His wide eyes that shift from you to his caretaker make her own eyes widen in shock, as she realizes, upon seeing the pajama shirts lying on the couch’s armrest and Jin’s very bare shoulders, that she disturbed you and your little act.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Kim!” She says, but it’s more teasing than anything; you could almost see her smirk from her voice.

“What was that you were saying, Mrs. Kang?” You ask from your lying position on the couch, totally hidden from her.

Jin frowns at you as you’re keeping her longer, but you just wink and laugh at him for it.

“Oh, some abalone. Your parents had them sent over after you both kept talking about it earlier,” she says. Mr. Lim brought them here. I’ll keep them and maybe make some porridge? Or over egg noodles?”

“Ah, that would be great,” Jin yelps, as you start to palm his cock to tease. He glares at you and you respond with a silent chuckle. “We, uh, we’ll just continue this upstairs,” he says, trying to reach for your clothes but you’ve locked him in place.

“Can you, uh, can you reach those for me, please?” He asks Mrs. Kang.

“Oh sure,” she smiles, taking your shirts and passing them over to him. “I’m sorry for disturbing you but you two have fun. Be careful not to break another lampshade, okay?” She chuckles as she walks away, and you and Jin both laugh because she definitely knows that it wasn’t because you were trying to move the night table and it broke, as you told her.

“I bet she could hear us,” you say, putting on your shirt upon Jin’s insistence to move to your bedroom.

“I’m sure, but she doesn’t have to see us,” he pouts. “You wanted this and I had to be the one embarrassed!”

“Oh, shush. You liked it,” you tease. “But I’m sorry and I’ll definitely make it up to you upstairs, yeah?”

“Fuck, let’s go,” he groans, standing up and pulling you off the couch.

You both make it to your room, laughing all the way up, and you’re about to put each other in the mood again when your phones start ringing. You check yours and see dozens of messages from your group chat and then individually from your friends and your brother, your heart stopping at the words you see. Jin has several from Yoongi and his siblings, too, and he mirrors your shocked reaction.

“Jin? How… what… what’s going on?” You tremble, as you try to process what you’re reading. “How did this happen?”

He looks at you with glassy eyes, the same questions you just uttered swimming in his mind as well.

“I thought it was all over with her,” you croak. “You said it was all okay. That she was okay.”

Jin looks at his phone and reads the tabloid headline that his sister had sent over and over again.

Not so loyal Mr. Kim? Recent photos of Kim Foods Inc. President’s intimate moments with another employee, LEAKED!

“That's what I thought,” he responds with a shaky voice, unbelieving that all of this is even happening. “I… I thought it was all over, too.”

Series Masterlist

Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx @di0rgguk @thequeen-kat @fan-ati--c @cravingforhotchocolate @adoraminie @helenazbmrskai @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @preciouschimine @gukssunshine @nch327 @kookxin @petuliii @yoursthv @libra04 @fancycollectormoon @twixxxpie @ignoretheskies @ohmydarlin-g @bids97 @minyoongiboongi @main-bangtansmauyeondan @investedreader

Series Taglist: @iwishselena @neverthefirstchoice @jungoomoles @yoontaethings @scuzmunkie @aerastus @seanachais @rjsmochii @xiaonismo @petalsofink @bastard--bunny @little-dark-empress

#seokjin fic #jin fic #seokjin angst #jin angst #seokjin fluff #jin fluff #seokjin smut #jin smut #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin fanfiction #jin fanfic #seokjin x you #jin x you #seokjin series

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jinkookspencil · 2 years

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lessons in love | ksj

riddled with anxiety at the beginning of your master’s degree, you found just the piece of peace you needed in a tiny, hidden cafe by your university with great coffee, a mellow ambiance, and one of the cafe’s regulars… the handsome teacher with a warm laugh you couldn’t help but listen to.

chapter one!

tags: ~3.3k words / jin x (f) reader / fluff / strangers to ..... / teacher!jin / teacher AU but yn is not jin’s student!! jin teaches kids, she is a master’s student / also a bit of a coffee shop au since it’s their meeting place / chapter 1 of a series <3 / i would really appreciate any feedback with this one, especially considering it’s the first chapter of my first series! <3 (could be taken as its own little meet-cute if you want to read it that way, but i have more coming) / happy birthday, seokjin <3 (he's still 29 in this fic shhhh)

tw: mentions of anxiety - yn / reader has anxiety, it'll pop up within the series later on....

banner: by the amazing @playmetheclassicss @classicseffects <3

Peace and a reassuring sign were all you needed as you walked out of the university on that cold autumn day…. The breeze prickling your skin did nothing to distract you from the anxious beating of your heart in your chest. As it always did at the beginning of a new chapter in your life, your anxiety skyrocketed. You couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the demands and the workload you began to face at the beginning of your master's degree, especially with your headache of a roommate in your apartment and your family so far away….

The only thing you could do to calm yourself down when you felt the panic settling in was to go on a walk and listen to your stress-relieving playlist, and luckily, the musical algorithm seemed to be in your favor. Though you compiled the playlist yourself a couple of weeks ago, you just remembered how great and varied it was. Every track that popped up after you hit shuffle, one after the other, put you in a better mood. Before you knew it, you completely forgot about going home and the mess you'd be returning to, instead mindlessly opting to explore the streets between and around your apartment and your university. The area was quaint. You quickly figured out the busier spots from the quieter spots in town, and just as you thought you had mapped out the area pretty well, you came across a tiny tucked-away shortcut between two roads. It was more than a shortcut, really, a little street of its own with a couple of closed stores and a cafe right between them.

It was an odd spot for a cafe, as it would go neglected by most people walking on the main streets… Walking in, you noticed nothing particularly special about the place; its modern, wooden interior was similar to many others on the main roads that were far more popular, except this one only had a handful of customers who undoubtedly also smelled the strong, lingering scents of coffee and sugar in the air. The atmosphere was quiet and mellow, with no obstructive decals, noisy customers, or loud music, and long, wooden tables that would make for a great workspace when you needed to work somewhere that wasn't the library or your apartment… The barista's counter and cash register housed a selection of delicious-looking pastries and snacks, but for now, their decent and well-priced latte would suffice… You would definitely be returning…

Within no time, you had become a regular at the cafe, the baristas recognizing you and preparing your coffee order without you even having to tell them most days.

It was perfect.

With its inconspicuous location you realized was exactly halfway between your university and your apartment, it proved to really be the best working environment you found so far, as you suspected, and the perfect coffee stop to, from, and between classes. It was the exact piece of peace you needed at the start of your term. Whenever you were in the cafe, you could just work to your heart's desire without having to worry about fellow students or your roommate pestering you, and you even occasionally allowed yourself to get distracted and procrastinate, too, without the pressure of the library.

It was never that busy - some passersby during the typical busier hours and a few regulars. There was the old man who was present every afternoon, sipping a cup of tea as he read a crime novel, the pair of teenage girls who came in for hot chocolates or extra sweet lattes and sat in the corner, a couple of other students who seemed to be undergrads…..

And then there was the teacher….

At least, you assumed he was a teacher. Or a teaching assistant. He looked too young to tell, even after the half a dozen times you had seen him after first noticing him during your second week of visiting the cafe. Every time you saw him, he was working away on one of the cafe's other wide tables or countertops, either on his laptop or making his way through a stack of papers with a red pen - the first signal that gave you a hint to his profession, as well as the button-down shirts with the cartoonish ties he added to them, which were always a fun bonus to spot. Weekday afternoons, in that state, were the only times he ever looked like a teacher. During the weekends or the occasional evening visit, when he dressed in bright-colored hoodies with his laptop… He looked so young that you could've bet he was a student, maybe even an undergrad. And with his shaggy hair that was too long to be short, small strands sticking out both at the top of his head and against his delicate features… you had to admit, he was handsome… but that wasn't what you found most interesting about him….

It was a peculiar thing. Every time he worked, he laughed. You noticed it the third or fourth time you saw him at the cafe when you cursed yourself for accidentally leaving your headphones at home, and then you couldn't un-notice it, the sound of his laughter even creeping in through your headphones the following visits. He never seemed to be laughing AT his students' work… and he rarely wore headphones, so he surely wasn't watching Netflix or even listening to a funny podcast…. He laughed loudly and squeakily, without a hint of shame, as though he wasn't surrounded by strangers. One might've found his loud laugh rude or perplexing, especially considering he laughed as he graded papers... But no one complained. No one could deny the innocence in his laughter. He seemed… warm.

You couldn't pinpoint why you thought that - whether it stemmed from his child-like smile and demeanor coupled with the cartoonish stickers on his laptop, or your own intuition - nor could you pinpoint what amused him so much… But whatever it was, it was odd, intriguing, and adorable all at once ….

Ever since that day, whenever he was in the cafe, you made a mental note to take off your headphones every now and then just to listen to the sound of his laughter. You couldn't help but smile whenever you heard it, and amidst the stress of papers and research, you took it as a reminder that life isn't as serious as supervisors and lectures make it out to be… Attaching meaning to a stranger's habit might've been odd as well…. but hey, you needed the reminder…

It was one thing that eased those first weeks into your term, which felt like months, especially since you were away from your sister and your nephews, the people you missed most from home. You had texted her asking to video-call whenever she and her kids were free since you had nothing but research planned at the cafe for the day after an early morning meeting, and she called minutes after you sat down with your coffee.

You briefly caught up with your sister but could soon hear your nephews arguing in the background, which was too much right through your headphones and into your ears. Taking off your headphones and putting your phone on loudspeaker, you mouth an apology to the barista, who makes no protest at you answering the call, waving it off before disappearing somewhere in the back, leaving you alone in the quiet of the cafe. But the brief pause didn't derail your sister's train of thought, immediately diving back into her interrogation of your life as a student and, as always, your love life.

"These are your best years! Have fun!" she insisted when you rolled your eyes. "I'm sure there's someone right underneath your nose that's perfect for you. Look around, and stop hiding away in your work, as you always do. You just need to take a chance. If I could design a man for my little sister, it'd be a nerdy, funny, responsible boy that knows how to make you smile… not like that boring idiot you dated who never gave you a present, even on your birthday," she assures.

"Oh, please, that's what everyone would wish for their sister, or best friend, or themselves! And you're saying that as if a man like that exists. I'm done. I'm done hearing this, but I can hear my nephews. Put them on," you grunt.

"Alright, alright," she resigns before calling out to her sons and handing them the phone. "Boys, it's your auntie!"

It’s hard to make out what they say through the screams. You make out yells of “Auntie!” between requests for toys and very quick anecdotes from school. Apparently, it’s a big deal that a kid in class had a shark-shaped backpack…. You couldn’t help but laugh at their excitement, happily nodding and joking along to their stories, smiling at their innocence and excitement. They ended the call, apparently accidentally, as a text from your sister described, but you smiled at her promise that they’d call back later.

“Uhm, excuse me?” you hear from behind you.

Turning around, you see…. the teacher, who had been sitting at a table by the door instead of one of the closer tables that he loved to work on.

“Excuse me, sorry, were you just talking to kids on the phone?” he asked, eyes wide.

Oh. You were so caught up in their excitement that you didn’t even notice him come in…

"Yes, my nephews," you sheepishly say. "Sorry if they were a bit loud. I didn't realize anyone else was in here." You quickly scan the cafe to see if there was anyone else you should apologize to, but it was empty. Even the barista was still nowhere to be seen.

"Not at all. They seemed adorable. I love kids. My kids - not my actual kids. I don't HAVE kids, obviously. The kids I teach… I'm a teacher," he explains in a hurry, "They're obsessed with these new erasable animal-themed pens? I don't know if you heard of them?"

"I haven't," you reply, noticing the twinkle in his eye.

"Kids these days are obsessed with them. Trust me. I don't know how old your nephews are, but regardless, I know they'll love them. I didn't mean to overhear, but honestly, it was hard not to," he giggles - as you attempt to stop your smile from widening. "I'm just saying, and those pens can be pretty hard to find, but there's a stationery shop around the corner from here -"

"The one with the red door?" you interrupt him, just as excitedly.

"Yes! They sell them. Just if you want to get them for your nephews…"

"I definitely will. I've been there a couple of times but never noticed those pens. Thank you."

"No problem," he nods with a smile.

You had never talked to the teacher before. He seemed polite, as you always expected. He actually was a teacher, obviously. And he taught kids, which adds to his warm aura, but a mystery remains unsolved. In a flash, you figured this was a chance to follow your curiosity…

"Uhm…," you begin, catching his attention. "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm curious about something, and I just wanted to ask you about it…."

"Me?" he questions, tilting his head. "Sure, what is it?"

"I noticed you here sometimes, working and grading papers, I think… but you always laugh while you work, and-"

"Ah, sorry, my laugh is a bit much," interrupting you now, he giggles shyly, trying to restrain it as his cheeks turn pink.

"No, it's not that! I actually like your laugh," you freeze for a fraction of a second, realizing what you had just said - it would be a moment you'd keep replaying in your mind for a while, cringing at the sudden confession that escaped you. "I was just wondering… why? Like, what's so funny? Grading tests doesn't seem to be like a fun thing."

"Oh," he sighs in relief with a smile, his eyes wide and his cheeks now magenta. "Well, I believe learning should be fun. So I include jokes, doodles, silly questions, and the sorts within the homework and tests I assign and the slides I use. And the students' answers to them are hilarious. Sometimes I even laugh at jokes I wrote months ago when preparing the curriculum."

"That's amazing…" - it's all you're able to let out, but you were amazed.

He shrugs. "Thanks. The faculty and the kids' parents disagree, but since the kids have great grades and actually like coming to class, they don't really complain as much anymore."

You nod, feeling a slight ache in your cheeks due to your prolonged smile, and realizing you might've looked like an idiot, you instantly bring your hands to your face in an attempt to cover your expression with the ends of your sleeves.

"I noticed you here before too. Are you a student?" he asks, grabbing his backpack and laptop, walking over to the large table by yours, and setting his things on it.

"Yeah, I'm a master's student."

He nods. "That makes sense. I thought that you don't look that much younger than me to be an undergrad."

So he not only noticed you but thought about you… Perhaps it was time to flirt, you wonder.

"Wait, so do I look old?" you ask, eyebrows raised.

"I just said that you don't look much younger than me, so are you saying I'm old then?" he immediately jibed back.

Perhaps it was never time to flirt.

"No, no, I'm sorry!" you defend before the two of you burst into laughter. "You know what I mean."

"My reputation for being the 'hot, young teacher' is ruined," he sighs. "No, I got you. I'm just saying we look around the same age. I'm 29."

"Oh, I'm just a few years younger than you!"

"You see?" he says calmly.

"You're still worthy of your title and reputation, then."

Shit, did you just indirectly call him hot?!

"Thank goodness. I'm glad I have your approval. I needed it. So are you enjoying your master's?" he asks before you get the chance to ask him about himself further or take in his response.

"It's a lot of work, but yes, I am. I like studying, actually."

"Good, enjoy every second of it. I just finished my master's degree a couple of years ago and was lucky to find this teaching job after."

"Was that always the plan? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't mind at all. And no, it wasn't really the plan. I worked different jobs during university both times, and one day, a friend suggested it to me. I'm the oldest in my friend group, and I realized then that it just kind of fit? I never realized I had always been in this type of role before until he said it. I trained as an assistant for a bit, and here I am," he remarks, pointing at his sticker-decorated laptop.

"And are you enjoying it?" you inquired.

"Honestly, I am - more than I thought I would. I never considered teaching before, and who knows? I might not be a teacher forever, but I'm enjoying it now. The kids are just so entertaining, and I like the routine of it."

You nod.

"Are you thinking of becoming a teacher?" he asks.

"Kind of….," your voice trails off. "I'm considering it - it's one of the reasons I'm continuing my studies, but I'm not so sure."

"Why not?"

"I have a few ideas I want to pursue other than teaching, but I'm mostly studying because I just want to learn more. And sharing that knowledge seems like the right path, you know? Why hoard all this knowledge for myself?"

He nods, seemingly in approval. "That's amazing. It's a better reason to teach than me saying the kids entertain me."

You shrug. "I don't think so. If you're happy, that's the most important thing, especially if you make the kids happy too. They won't forget that."

"Yeah… You're right.", the teacher replies with a grin, his voice trailing off as he folds his arms on the table and leans forward. "But if you ever consider it, it'd be nice to have someone to share my title with."

He follows up that comment with anecdotes from the school, including a funny story about a kid in his class who entered a subject-based corny dad joke battle with him - the jokes were indeed corny, but they were still pretty funny and reminded you of the banter you and a friend once had with a teacher in high school, which you recalled to him. And, through it all, he kept laughing as though he had an endless supply of joy…

Your cheeks legitimately hurt from smiling so much, and a part of you wondered if he felt the same, in more ways than one, fearing that such a happy person might actually be sad….. But you had to stop yourself from overthinking and worrying too much about someone who was still more of a stranger than an acquaintance… You had just never met a stranger with such an attitude… It was just so heartwarming. Sure, you noticed him and his energy in the past, but now you noticed the way his smile turned his eyes into little crescent moons and defined his cheeks a shade of red every few seconds, the curl of his hair curled at the nape of his neck, and the way his eyes blink faster and his voice gets louder and louder…. You had to stop yourself from getting carried away again…

Suddenly the coffee machine's whirrs stop, letting out a loud beeping noise instead, and it's then when you both snap back to reality and readjust to your surroundings, having been too immersed in the conversation to realize that a few more people had entered the cafe, including the barista, who got to work on a customer's order.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I got carried away. You didn't even get coffee yet," you say, looking at the teacher's empty table.

"Please don't apologize. It was so nice to finally talk to you. My name is Jin, by the way."

"It was nice to meet you too," you tell him, introducing yourself with a smile.

It's then that he suddenly gets up from his chair and takes the few steps that separated you with an outstretched hand, waiting for you to shake it. He wasn't that much older than you, and people in your generation didn't really shake hands… It was a sweet, old-fashion gesture, you thought, as you shook his hand, which was warm as the aura he radiated.

You faced your work, as did Jin after he got his coffee…. but you couldn't shake off the lingering warmth of his hand against your fingertips, which did more to warm you up than your coffee did. Nor could you shake off the image of his excitement and modesty when he talked about learning and the schoolkids…

Just as your brain began to understand some of the words you had been staring at for half an hour, you notice via your peripheral vision that the teacher, Jin, began to collect his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulders.

"I'll see you around here," he says softly, stopping for a moment by your table with raised eyebrows.

"See you," you reply with a smile. Hearing his footsteps as he walks out the door behind you, you blink at the bright screen in front of you.

Now, some reading…. No charming distractions.

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piedpiperslists · 1 year

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Seokjin Series (X)

* ² - two shots s - contains smut

When You Left Us [pt2] [pt3] by @yoongiphoria single dad!Seokjin, absent mom!reader Summary: All Seokjin has left of you is your daughter.

Ambrosia by @hear-me-growl s millionaire!Seokjin, bartender!reader, nyotaimori model!reader, strangers to lovers Summary: “You taste delicious, sweet cheeks.”

Insatiable by @heartbeatan s succubus!reader, strangers to lovers, supernatural au Summary: A co-operative, supernatural seven-part series.

Cash Money ² by @hamsterclaw s lawyer!Seokjin, strangers to lovers Summary: Despite your better judgement, you end up indulging in a night of debauchery on Christmas eve with Jin.

Annihilation of You ² by @jimlingss post apocalyptic au, soulmates au Summary: You have one goal: destroy the world. Only one thing stands in your way: your soulmate. Looks like you’re going to have to destroy him first.

#ksj list #seokjin series

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kpopfanfictrash · 6 months

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Jingle All the Way Collaboration

Coming your way this holiday season! Whether you've been naughty or nice, you'll have seven fics to unwrap by @kpopfanfictrash , @leahsfavefics , @kithtaehyung , @yoonia , @cybrsan and @sugaurora.

All second chance romance. All holiday themed. All attempting to utilize the same quote: "The holidays aren't so bad with you around." Come down the chimney, embrace your inner Vixen, and warm up this season with the Jingle All the Way collab!

Content Creator: all amazing banners are made by the truly spectacular @kithtaehyung!!

(Links to be added as fics are posted)

Title: The Ten Days of Ex-Mas

Author: @kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin x Reader (f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; hockey player au, second chance au, oh noo there was only one bed

Summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Posting Date: December 19th, 2023

Title: All I Want for Christmas is Joon

Author: @leahsfavefics

Pairing: art historian!Namjoon x art historian!reader (f)

Rating/genre: m (18+) angst, fluff, smut, second chance au

Summary: You have had a rough year following the mutual break up with your grad school sweetheart. On a whim, you book a spontaneous trip to Europe for the holidays to help get you out of the funk you’re in and assert your independence. It would be great, if it weren’t for the fact that you keep bumping into your ex boyfriend.

Posting Date: December 21st, 2023

Title: Back to December

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au

Summary: Ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: A Christmas Fix

Author: @yoonia

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+), secret baby au, s2l au, fake dating au on the side (more on that later)

Summary: One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

Title: Everwinter

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; ex-fwb 2 lovers au, second chance au

Summary: You told him you loved him, and that was a mistake. Because years later, you both meet up with your old friend group for a holiday trip, and neither of you have forgotten that.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: Miracle of the Season

Author: @cybrsan

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; angel au, second chance au

Summary: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, a familiar face pops up and you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

Posting Date: December 29th, 2023

Title: A Porn Star's Guide to the Holidays

Author: @sugaurora

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); smut; second chance au

Summary: Jung Hoseok was your first love, a relationship that ended only because your post-high school dreams led you down two very different paths. Yours brought you to Jeon Jungkook, an innovative talent agent promising to produce the most well-loved adult entertainment artists of the era. And that’s how you became an erotic market darling, doing just about everything from outdoor gangbangs to golden showers and a long list of kinks in between.

Ten years later and you’re ready to find a new path, celebrating your exit from the business with one last appearance at the biggest adult industry convention of the year. Only when you arrive, you find yourself unexpectedly face-to-face with your high school sweetheart. Suddenly, you’re forced to confront where the years have taken you and feelings that may have never quite gone away.

What’s a former porn star to do?

Posting Date: TBD

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jinstronaut · 29 days

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25 / 50 days of jinkook

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hopeinthebox · 10 months

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bts + reductress headlines pt.12

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 3 months

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Our Little Love part seven - OT7 Mafia/Yandere au

What’s that saying? One step forward two steps back? 👀 6K words containing: manipulation, toxic yandere men, non-consented acts of affection, lies, possessive behaviour, jealousy, allusion to crime and kidnapping.

“Little love,” Jin calls for you absentmindedly, frowning when you don’t look up from your book to answer him. It’s one you had read a million times before, maybe you didn’t hear him.

“Little love?” He tries again, looking confused as you let out a disgruntled sigh of annoyance.

He can see your jaw clench, something had pissed you off. Your foot became restless as you sat in the arm chair, it was only when Jimin cleared his throat obviously he remembered the terms and conditions you had enforced.

This time he lets out a big sigh, one of tested patience. He mumbles an apology before turning away, a bitter feeling creeping up his chest. Fuck, he resented the fact he couldn’t call you that anymore, it was like asking him not to breathe. Fuck fuck fuck, they needed to earn your forgiveness soon or this might actually kill them. Not that they ever underestimated you, but you really did know which weapons to pull to hurt them the most, and fuck did he have to admit they deserved it. Didn’t mean he had to like any of it.

Jimin follows him out, a quick glance back at you to see if you were paying any concern but of course not. Since the day you announced the break you’d been keeping your distance, Jimin had complained about it childishly with tantrum tears in his eyes but you had patiently explained you needed the space to clear your head.

Jimin scoffs at the memory, feeling sour about it still. The pout he wears gives away his thoughts when they both find Yoongi in the kitchen.

“Little love giving you a hard time?” he says almost amused.

It’s Jin’s turn to scoff dramatically, ears burning so red, Yoongi swears there’s steam.

“We can’t call her that anymore,” he complains, sulking.

Yoongi smiles a little, not because he truly found his hyung’s pain entertaining, but because he understood the pain.

“It’s a difficult situation,” Yoongi agrees, “but the alternative would have been so much worse.”

Jimin and Jin stare silently at him, their gazes aggressive as if they wanted to hit the male but they didn’t because he was right. The worst alternative wasn’t expecting you to leave, they all knew they would never let that happen, but if you had become a ghost of yourself, if they had broken you so badly there was nothing left to rebuild, then what would be left of you?

“When did you become so considerate?” Jimin scoffs, rolling his eyes. He didn’t like any of it, he didn’t care if you were right and they were wrong, you had taken away their most prized and valuable possession, you. He couldn’t help the internal tantrums as if someone had taken away his favourite toy. Call him childish, call him whatever the hell you wanted, he hated this situation, and he couldn’t hide it.

They apologised, and apologised, and apologised, and you still gave them the cruellest punishment you could think of.

“You’re still thinking with anger,” Yoongi acknowledges, knowing when Jimin cooled down from this he would probably be the one with the most regret and remorse, what he didn’t know is Jimin was clinging to his resentment with all his might, because once that gave way he would have so much to answer for.

—

Men would pay money to see Jung Hoseok hesitate, but that was exactly what he was doing now. Another book in your hand (you were reading a bit too much lately, he didn’t like it, it was as if you knew you couldn’t leave physically so you were doing so mentally), and he was stalling himself with interrupting you.

Your rejection cut holes into him, and that’s what he was afraid of when approaching you today. When he was younger he used to be afraid of everything, but after indulging in the horrors of survival and the syndicate, nothing terrified him any more, or so he thought before his heart belonged to you.

“Litt-” he catches himself before he says it too loud, clearing his throat quietly hoping you didn’t hear him. “Y/n?”

He sounds more confident, his more serious persona going up as if that would protect him here. He knew he needed it, any sane person after experiencing his pleasure and pain games would run at the sight of him, and a part of him was getting ready to catch you if you did.

You look at him and it has him crumbling. Something in his chest physically hurts him so bad he thinks he needs to go see a specialist, one glance from you and he’s ready to beg on his knees again for your forgiveness. The distance between you, although you were here in front of him, killed him. It felt eerily similar to what it did when you left, and it confused his brain and body so much.

He had to remind himself every day, you were still here, you still loved them, this was just temporary.

“I-I wasjus- I was just heading to the b-basment,” forget money, men would lay down their lives to see Jung Hoseok stutter and stumble over his words.

You frown in question when he doesn’t continue, but stares at you expectantly, until he realises he hadn’t explained what he wanted.

“For a workout!” He rectifies himself quickly before taking a breath to calm himself, “I wondered if you wanted to join me?”

He mentally pats himself on the back quickly for sounding more put together, but then his nerves start to shake again when you don’t respond immediately. You contemplate it, for too long in his eyes, stretching out the pause until you have the man sweating. Who needs a work out, just piss your girlfriend off and try to spend time with her while she's still mad.

“Yeah, okay,” you nod, finally putting down your book (he should get Jimin to burn them all). “I’ll go get changed.”

The relief and joy that floods Hobi almost makes him pass out, a genuine smile he hasn’t felt on his own face for days bursts through. This was a step in the right direction, you didn’t hate him or you would’ve shut him down. With the amount of hope in his system, he was getting giddy.

—

You wanted some time alone this evening, without them lingering around you, with poor attempts of covering their intentions with busying themselves. As if you couldn’t see Jimin’s imploring stare as he walked past you from the corner of your eyes. Or the way Jin would walk towards you, hesitate and then walk away.

You didn’t say they couldn’t talk to you, you were just on a break. Part of you knows you should seek them out and start civil conversation but that part also knew once you opened the door they would come barging through. An inch would turn into a mile and you would be back where you started.

So now you were busying yourself with the world’s worst chore, just to escape and breathe for a second, laundry. You were sorting through the load at a snail’s pace, knowing when you were done you’d have to endure them again. You’re so embedded in your own thoughts you don’t feel another presence join you.

Arms wrap around you, making you still. His figure almost engulfs you from behind, his nose already finding purchase on your neck as he buries himself against you. You try not to sigh, you were sick of hearing the sound yourself but it was always one of patience.

You understood how hard it was for them to accept your decision for a ‘break’, but all you wanted was some respect for it. And this broke your no touching rule.

“Tae let go,” you say without an ounce of emotion, continuing sorting out the laundry in front of you.

His only reaction to your words is the opposite of course, holding you tighter against him making your heart skip too many beats to count. Your skin sizzled with something akin to longing, a fire he only seemed to ignite when his breath hit your neck.

You don’t give in. You throw the item of clothing in your hand down, both hands on the edge of the basket as you still, standing statue as he tries his hardest to work through your defences. You don’t respond when he nuzzles his nose against where he’s buried, or to the rumble of his chest when he breathes you in deeply. His eyes are closed, you know they are, he’s relishing the moment all he can before you take it away.

He doesn’t feel you respond the way he wants you to, he wants you to melt against him and the urge is so strong but somehow you resist. He whines, the sound so soft near your ears you almost miss it. He tries holding you tighter still, his thumb stroking soft circles on your skin, trying to tempt you to break your resolve. Gentle, almost whisper like kisses are placed on your shoulder as he finally breaks away.

“Are you done?” You say almost coldly as he steps back, picking back up another item of clothing.

You hear him sniff but you don’t let it move you.

“Heaven, please,” he begs, a fist in your top clutching onto you.

That’s when you turn to face him. If he expects to see any softness in your gaze he’s sorely mistaken, it’s not a glare you’re giving him but it’s close enough that it burns. You don’t even flinch when you see tears in his eyes.

“I asked you not to touch me,” you state quietly but your words are firm. “Or that if you did, you asked first.”

He looks down, partly in shame, partly in grief. You can’t stand to see the sight, it makes your heart ache, so you walk away.

—

“Y/n?” Jungkook asks for your attention, biting his lips in worry. “Can I ask you about the book you’re reading?”

The others in the room feel an overwhelming sense of envy when you smile at the maknae. Jimin’s jaw goes slack as you scoot over to let Jungkook sit beside you. Envy was a dangerous thing, how he wanted to pluck the youngest of them out of the seat and take his place, but he hadn’t calmed his emotions down enough yet to approach you properly, and he knew if he did he’d ruin whatever rebuilding the others had done. No, he had to be patient with himself and withdraw, even if that meant physically. He was playing cards with Yoongi and Seokjin, but he places his cards down and leaves.

Jin’s pout overtakes his face when he turns away from the sight of Jungkook grinning while you talk animatedly, putting down a card without thinking and letting Yoongi take the win this round. Yoongi didn’t even notice, his gaze goes soft at the way you laugh at a teasing comment Jungkook made, a sound he hasn’t heard in what felt like forever. The sound even makes the corners of Jin’s pout pull up.

The youngest of the group honestly thought he was in paradise, he didn’t even care about the book he just wanted to hear you talk without reservation. His focus was on the way your eyes lit up, the genuine smile on your face, how does he try to make this moment last forever? He pays attention to every word you utter, asking the right question to keep you going, even making a joke here and there and feeling so pleased with himself when you laugh.

How did the relationship regress back so far that he felt like this was the start of it, like he was still pursuing you to give him a chance, like he had to work up the courage to ask you out all over again. The answer of course was in their mistakes, the thought dampens his mood but he pushes it away. He didn’t know when he would get another moment like this, he had to soak it all in and cherish it before it was over.

—

Your defences go up when you spot Jimin bringing Taehyung to you, the shorter male holding his hand guiding your bear like boyfriend in front of you. You look at them both expectantly, wondering what the theatrics were for. Taehyung sniffles, his face hanging low, his red hoodie pulled down as far as he can get it to hide himself.

“Taehyung has something he wants to say Heaven- I mean angel- I mean Y/n,” he corrects himself repeatedly with a shake of his head, cheeks burning in slight embarrassment at the blunder, but he wouldn’t apologise for it even it that made him a hypocrite for what he was making Taehyung do.

He pushes his friend gently, encouraging him to speak.

“Tae?” you say gently, remembering how harshly you spoke to him the other day.

Apparently that was all it took for the man to break down into tears in front of you, falling to his knees as he bawled. Your jaw drops in shock at the action, but you’re more surprised at the fact he holds himself back from launching into you for comfort.

You can see how hard it is to do so, he’s hugging himself, but his nails dig into the fabric of his clothes. He still doesn’t look at you, his gaze on the floor. You give him a second to compose himself, the sobs turning into little hiccups as he wipes his face with his sleeve.

When he looks at you it's your turn to grip the armrests of the chair with all your might, those glassy eyes beg you for love and it takes everything not to smother him in your embrace. But that would undo all the work you’ve been doing, you had to talk it out first and then maybe if this was resolved you could reward him with physical affection, just a little.

“I-I’m sorry,” he says through a hoarse voice, the sound only breaking your resolve further. “About the other day, I s-should’ve asked first.”

He tries to take a deep breath in but it’s shaky, for some reason what he wants to say next breaks him out into more tears. He covers his face as he cries, Jimin rubbing his back providing him with the comfort you couldn’t give just yet.

“Doyouhateme?”

The muffled question breaks your heart, Jimin can see it on your face and it has him fighting down a smirk. He may have played a hand at manipulating the situation, convincing Taehyung this was the best way to get back into your good books.

“Tae no,” you breathe, eyes watering but you blink back the tears. You didn’t want to show them any weakness anymore. “I don’t hate you.”

You sigh, eyes to the ceiling, as if begging for control over yourself as you try really hard to not give in to the feeling of wanting to crawl into his lap and hold him.

“I just really needed some space that day,” you explain, “and you caught me at a bad time.”

That wipes away Jimin’s elation, all this talk about space and distance, it already felt like you were living on Mars. How much space did you want? In his opinion there had been too much space, that was the problem, or were you forgetting the long agonising months of your absence?

Taehyung nods, thankfully retaining your attention away from Jimin who couldn’t hide his thoughts from his face.

—

You can’t sleep, tossing and turning from your side to your back and then to your side again. Were you fighting a losing battle? Were you being unfair in asking them to change? You remember cases of forgotten wives refusing to leave their no good husbands, the amount of inane times you heard the cries of ‘I can get him to change’... had you become one of those women? Then of course came the others, the women who knew they could not work miracles on their partners and gave up. Some left, some stayed, and you remember watching them all in the years of your career, arrogantly thinking it would never be you, no man would ever trap you like this. There was a joke in there somewhere, one man certainly didn’t, but seven did.

The knock on the door thankfully interrupts your endless circle of pity, a meek Jungkook peeking around as he opens the door. Something about the scene felt familiar but the shoe was on the other foot. He was waiting for permission to come in, you don’t know why the sight made you smile, made you warm.

If anyone was proof that they were trying for you it was Jungkook, Yoongi had kept his distance out of respect for your rules, you know he only did so because he couldn’t help himself if he got too close. Jimin was similar although, you could see he was keeping his distance mentally, angry with you and your conditions. It would pass, you were sure, or at least you hoped.

Jungkook was the only one that accepted everything without complaint, and you knew it wasn’t easy. You were so grateful to him for it, for respecting your boundaries sincerely, for giving you hope that this relationship could be salvaged.

He almost trips over himself when you pull the covers back wordlessly, inviting him in, the stumble of his legs as he races towards you makes you giggle. He climbs in without hesitation, about to reach out for you but he stops himself, eyes looking up at you, wanting to ask you out loud but too afraid to.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him quietly, as if talking loudly would break the peace you felt with him there, that you’d second guess yourself.

Arms you’ve longed for wrap around your waist, pulling you towards him. You hold him back gently, not letting yourself get lost in him the way you wanted. In the darkness, your gazes meet, talking loudly in a way filled the silence.

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes out hard, unable to hold it in any longer.

“I’ve missed you too,” you admit.

He bites his lips to refrain from saying anything else, to break the illusion that everything was okay.

“I used to think I understood your darkness,” you murmur, stroking his hair out of his face.

He pulls you closer, burying his head against your chest, the youngest didn’t like how that sentence was going and part of him didn’t want to hear the rest.

“But I don’t think I ever did,” you confess in a whisper, starting to ramble. “I don’t get it Kookie, why me? This obsession, I thought I felt it the same as you, I thought you guys understood me too.”

You let out a shaky breath, trying to keep up with your thoughts when you felt the hands of sleep trying to catch you.

“Maybe I was just trying to excuse my own darkness,” you sigh, almost in defeat. “Or maybe I just fed yours too much.”

“You gave us your love,” he mumbles against your skin, eyes closed as he breathes in your scent. “Your acceptance, you didn’t feed our darkness baby, you just didn’t see the extent of it.”

—

The silence is suffocating. Yoongi normally appreciates it but in this situation it was unsettling. They’re all in the living room, some pretending to do their own thing, but no one was paying any attention to anything other than you. Yoongi and Namjoon did so blatantly, Yoongi sitting on the couch away from you but his stare is nowhere else. This didn’t break the rules, you didn’t tell him he couldn’t soak you in with his eyes whenever he wanted.

The others were also very obvious with their glances towards you, Jin was dusting the same spot of the living room over and over. Hoseok flipping through the tv channels with Jungkook sitting beside him, the maknae biting his lips in worry with every peek he took, a habit he hadn’t had since he was a teenager. Taehyung and Jimin uncharacteristically played chess but all the pieces were in the wrong places, arbitrarily moving them just to keep appearances so you didn’t call them out.

And Namjoon… the man was staring daggers into your form. Elbow on his thigh, leaning forward, his chin on his thumb, his finger on his face tapping away on his cheekbone impatiently. He was supposed to be going over the papers in his lap, but they were being scrunched in his other hand. Yoongi thought he looked like a bomb about to explode, and he wasn’t wrong.

“That’s it!” Namjoon almost growls as he slams his file down, standing from his seat while everyone stares in shock at his outburst.

He walks towards you, and you meet his glare but refuse to move from the comfort and safety of the tub chair, you don’t even close your book.

“This ‘break’ is over,” he snarls, gestating with his hands trying to find a conduit for his anger. “Do you understand, little love?”

You look up at him with eyes simmering a fire he only ignited, meeting his glare head on.

“I decide when this break is over,” you say calmly, refusing to fight him at his level.

“No.”

“No?” Your brows scrunch in disbelief and anger, there goes your plan to remain calm. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

You throw your book back into the seat as you rise to meet him eye to eye, although he’s still looking down at you.

“I mean…” he breathes gruffly, grazing his hand with yours at your side. “No.”

“You can’t b-“

Your voice is smothered by his lips, his soft touch turning into an iron grip as he pulls you closer, devouring you like a man starved and in his eyes that’s exactly what he was. You push him away, but he doesn’t allow for any space between you.

Even when you’re banging your fist against his chest, unable to breathe, he doesn’t budge. You’re at his mercy, only when he decides he’s had enough (for now), does he pull away.

You look dishevelled almost, breathing hard, your eyes glistening with tears. The sight shouldn’t arouse him but it does.

You have the audacity to childishly wipe his kiss away with the back of your hand, a tough swipe that does nothing to erase the force he handled you with. He chuckles, the sound makes your ears burn, feeling the warmth of shame colour them in.

The others stare with the jaws wide open, fear settling in that this was taking too many steps in the wrong direction. It takes everything not to call you back when you storm away, it takes everything not to follow.

No one says a word, but they all glare accusingly at their leader except Taehyung, who only looks down in shame.

—

“Where do you think you’re going?” Yoongi asks gruffly, sleep still in his voice.

“Out.” You respond bluntly, avoiding his gaze.

“I asked where,” he pushes when you pull Taehyung’s hoodie over your head. You were drowning in the fabric, and he pretended the sight didn’t make him ache for you. The same way you were trying so hard not to let his sleepy state bring down your defences, no matter how cute he looked in the shorts and grey top.

“What does it look like Yoongi,” your head was spinning with too many thoughts and you needed to clear it. “For a run.”

“I’ll come with you,” he says it like an offer but it’s not, you know it’s not.

“No,” you refuse simply, finally meeting his stare. “Send one of your men to keep an eye on me, it's what you did before anyway.”

He’s quiet, observing you for a moment. You hated it when he did that, it was like he could see inside of you and yet, despite that, you felt like he couldn’t understand anything he saw. You break eye contact first, putting on your trainers while he continues to stare. Why couldn’t you read him the same, how could he still get under your skin with his silence even after all this time?

“I’ll send Jungkook,” he says as you open the door. “He’ll keep his distance.”

He doesn’t take the slam as you leave personally, he knows you just need to vent your frustrations, but because you were so isolated- sorry, because they isolated you, you had no one to vent to, no one who was objective to talk to. Physically stretching your mind would maybe do you some good.

“Did you seriously let her go out unsupervised?” Namjoon seethes as he approaches Yoongi, quick to dial one of their men regardless of what nefarious time of the morning it was. The first call goes to voicemail.

Yoongi sighs, he was on his way back to bed, guess not.

“She deserves our trust,” he replies. “And I was about to send Jungkook.”

“It’s not about trust,” Namjoon bites back, another call unanswered, “it’s about safety, or are you forgetting our enemies hunt our weaknesses.”

“Our enemies know if they touch her they’ve signed their own death certificate, no one would dare cross us now, not with the amount of blood we’ve shed,” Yoongi groans in aggravation. “Not to mention you’ve bought out the police Namjoon.”

“But not every policeman, or Captain, or are you forgetting what we did to him?”

“You gave him a warning, he’ll behave,” Yoongi states, ready to leave the conversation but he can’t help himself with what he says next. After Namjoon’s actions last night, he was feeling a little vengeful, even if he didn’t completely mean his words. “We should’ve left him unharmed, we knew she didn’t want us to hurt him.”

The shock in Namjoon’s eyes flashes for a second before they compose themselves to a stare. He puts his phone back in his pocket, maybe Jungkook was the best one to go, you didn’t seem to punish him as harshly as the others.

The silence between the men turns the air cold, their gazes stoic but speaking volumes. Namjoon wouldn’t stand for mutiny or disloyalty, he especially didn’t stand for anyone questioning his decisions.

“He hurt her,” he explains himself patiently, “he wants to take her away from us.”

Yoongi scoffs, a humourless grin on his face as he stares back in ridicule at their leader.

“We hurt her,” he states, eyes blank of emotion, “where’s our bullet to the knees.”

—

If you were being honest with yourself, you hated running, you hated the way each breath burned as it filled your lungs, how each limb could feel like lead, but the pain was better than the thoughts you were trying to clear.

You remember at the police academy, Suho and Kai used to run circles around you, but somewhere along the way your competitiveness got the better of you, and you trained harder than them both. It used to annoy you to hell that they were physically much stronger than you, but those days were some of the best. The three of you were so close, each other’s confidants when things went sour, the two you’d hang out with when a case went wrong. Now who did you have to confide in?

Maybe it’s your conscious or unconscious thoughts making your legs move in a particular direction, but you don’t realise where you’re headed until you see the sign above the door. The breakfast place… where everything went to shit a third time.

You barely glance inside as you run past but the sight of someone familiar makes you double take. Think of the devil and he appears?

His eyes catch yours when you stop in your tracks, he’s sitting at a table alone and the sight of him brings back that day like a breath after being underwater for so long. An apology is at the tip of your tongue, your eyes start to water, you know you have to keep running, if any of them finds you here with him, he’d be dead. You’re about to turn away when he waves at you, a simple smile that didn’t meet his eyes sent your way as he watches the realisation hit you.

His hand was covered in thick bandages, and your stare doesn’t leave them. There’s no thought in your mind as your legs move you into the building, ignoring the waiter's greeting as you walk towards your old Captain with dread.

He shifts in his seat, letting you see the bandages on his leg, around his knee, the crutches resting on the seat next to him. Your eyes are wide with shock before your gaze turns into one of mournful rage. Tears start forming in your eyes as you shake.

The sense of betrayal that overwhelms you has you reaching a hand for the table, gripping the edge tight to steady yourself.

They lied.

They looked you in the eyes and lied. All of them, including Jungkook. You don’t let yourself sob, not when a fire burns any attachment you felt towards them to dust.

You move your gaze from his injuries to his face, his stare never having left you.

“Arrest them,” your voice is hoarse but without a morsel of regret, anger paving the way forward now, filling the loss you felt deep inside of you.

They must’ve thought you were fucking stupid, they must’ve laughed behind your back, humoring you with their acts of trying to change. Fuck, you were a fool, they played you again and again and you just took it every fucking time. There was never going to be any change, and you refused to be their prisoner any longer.

“I’ll be your witness,” you say it with conviction, although a part of you grieves. “I’ll give you all the evidence you need, just send them away.”

Suho doesn’t say a word, and that makes it all so much worse. You can feel something creeping around you, shadows of them that have latched onto you, crawling all over your skin. You wanted rid of this dark energy, you wanted out.

You don’t break his stare, not for a second, you can tell he’s deep in thought, contemplating your resolve, and if he saw a hint of uncertainty in you he would do no such thing. Why would he risk it? They hurt him, they could hurt him again.

He reaches for his phone, and you take a premature breath of relief.

“Make the call,” he commands, handing the device to you.

—

When Yoongi dragged Jungkook out of bed this morning, the maknae had begrudgingly crawled out of the house. His body ran on autopilot when he left to find you, eyes half open, yawning in the morning air. His hoodie pushes his hair to fall in his face but he’s too tired to drag the fabric back.

It wouldn’t take long to find you, he could run circles around you if he wanted but the thought of maybe spending some time with you alone made his legs pick up the pace, a goofy grin on his face as he thought about it.

Yes you were probably mad about Namjoon’s actions yesterday, not that Jungkook blamed him all that much, it was hard to stay away from you, but he was starting to understand your perspective a little more. Especially after the last time you pulled away, and he couldn’t let that happen again, he wouldn’t survive it another time. He wouldn’t blame you if you gave him the cold shoulder, he just hopes you don’t punish him because of Namjoon, deflecting your anger wherever it did damage.

He’d calm you down, he’s sure of it. He’d tell you that what their big bad boss did was wrong and he was on your side, he’d tell you that he loved you and respected you, and it didn’t matter how long you took to forgive them he was sure the relationship would heal.

He’s so lost in thought he doesn’t realise how far he’s travelled, it’s only when there’s still no sight of you his grin begins to fade. He should’ve caught up to you by now, this was the route you normally take, and you knew better than to go another way.

What if… no. You wouldn’t dare leave again, you wouldn’t. Jungkook breaks into a sprint, running every route he can think of, not stopping for a moment even when his lungs and legs burn. He’s looking round like a mad man, but he can’t find you. What if something happened? What if someone got to you or hurt you? Memories flash in his mind to long, long ago when that was almost the case. What if?

Shit. A hand to his pocket tells him he’s left his phone, he couldn’t contact the others to join him. His best decision was to get back to the house asap. Jin would still have the tracker on your phone, they would find you, it was all going to be fine.

The fear that seized his heart was not fooled by such idealistic thoughts, his eyes had seen the true brutality of the world, sometimes caused by his own hands, and now his mind played a myriad of images of his little love in all the situations of pain he caused others. He always wondered if karma would catch him one day, he never thought it would take you.

—

He slams the door open so hard it struggles to stay on the hinges.

“I CAN’T FIND HER!” He yells into the open space of the home with all the air in his lungs.

It doesn’t take long for the hoard to assemble.

“What do you mean you can’t find her?” Jin yells back, reaching for his phone to track you without prompt.

Jungkook doesn’t miss the way Namjoon glares at Yoongi, the shorter man ignoring him.

“She’s probably taken another route,” he says calmly.

“You better hope that’s all,” Namjoon says through gritted teeth.

“What if someone’s got her?” Jimin panics.

“No,” Hoseok shuts that idea down, “everyone knows there is nowhere in Seoul to hide from us.”

“There’s always one idiot that’s willing to try, or have you forgotten the last time someone tried to take her?” Taehyung says heatedly.

“And we know how that ended,” Hoseok growls back.

The bickering among themselves grows in volume, so loud that they almost miss what Jin says.

“What?” It’s Yoongi that dares to ask him to repeat himself, the drumming in his ears drowning the words. He must’ve misheard…

“She’s at the police station,” there’s no mistaking it this time. Jin looks solemnly at Namjoon while all their heads spiral.

“She’s not gone there of her own will,” Yoongi shakes his head in denial, “they’ve arrested her or something.”

Namjoon says eerily quiet, his breathing hard, his jaw clenched.

“Namjoon we own the police,” Hoseok pushes, “make a fucking call see why she’s there.”

“Fuck making a call! I’m going over there,” Jungkook announces, turning back to the front door, but the sight of a police van pulling up at their mansion makes him stop in his tracks.

“Are they dropping her home,” Jimin asks stupidly, unable to comprehend why else they would be there.

The older four men look at eachother knowingly.

“Should we run?” Jin asks, making Taehyung and Jimin whip their heads to stare at him incredulously.

“Why would we run?” Namjoon breaks his silence, “they’ll take us right to her.”

As if on queue a smoke grenade rolls into the room, blasting off within seconds, covering the air. Namjoon almost laughs, they sent the fucking swat team, how ridiculous when they could’ve settled this like gentlemen.

Bodies swarm in, yelling commands and they all fall to their knees as instructed. On any other day, if you were home, these men wouldn’t make it through the door, but Namjoon was right, they were a one way ticket to finding you.

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bts-0t-7 · 8 days

Text

Tonight | KSJ | Teaser 2

“Mr Park, you had a hybrid?”

His eyes turned downcast. “Yes, once. But he passed away four years ago in an accident.”

You tilted your head. “May I ask what happened?”

He looked up at you with a sad smile. “Wrong time, wrong place.”

You swiped two fingers over the frame. It may have been a long time since you saw him but his face and those eyes - you will never forget.

Is this how it feels like to have a broken heart?

Does it hurt so bad you feel as if your whole body was aching?

Looking around the room, you found pictures of Mr Park. Name tags, badges, medals. But they were all given to Kim Seokjin.

“Hyung, they weren’t lying when they said that they knew who we are.”

The recordings fell out of the box as you ploughed through them.

“Stop it. Jimin was my everything.”

Gone. The only person who you could count as family, is gone.

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stacywaters · 1 year

Text

Hidden Behind a Smile (JIN) CH6 - A Blissful Day

I fumble with the strap of my bag while gazing at the gates of the amusement park. Is he here yet? He never clarified where I should meet him..

Maybe this is all just a prank and I should just leave. No, no, Jinnie would never do that. He's a good person.

"Y/N!!"

I turn around and see Kim Seokjin running up to me. The wind rushes through his hair, an angelic smile painted on his face.

"Y-you" I try to speak.

"You look beautiful, Y/N." He smiles down at me.

I blush, "you too."

He gently takes my hand in his and walks with me into the park. The butterflies in my stomach speed up at the sudden contact. He just giggles, "I'm so glad you came today."

"Why wouldn't I? It's not every day you can see the lovely Seokjin" I laugh.

Clouds swirl in the sky, a clear and bright sunshine smiling down on Lotte World. The light just enhances his beauty, he looks so full of life.

"How about that one?" He points to a tall ride. Though it wasn't the biggest here, it still made me freeze in fear.

"I don't know, I'm not good with heights.."

"It'll be fun! Let's just try."

We stand in the line. It twists around the entrance. When it's finally our turn, Jin gets into his seat and buckles his seatbelt. As I get in, he leans over and tightens mine for me.

"T-Thank you" I stutter.

It starts off slow. We build up energy on the smaller hills. When we reach the tallest one, I tighten my grip on his hand. We speed down the rails, moving so fast I can hardly see. When my vision focuses I notice the extreme distance between us and the ground. My breathing picks up, and he must have noticed. A warm hand tilts my face towards him.

"Hey, it's okay. Just focus on me. Don't look down."

I stare into his eyes, no longer thinking about the ride, "How did I get so lucky?"

"What was that?" He chuckles.

"N-nothing! Did I really say that out loud.." I shake my head in embarrassment.

"It's such a pretty day out today," He starts, "I feel like the luckiest guy in this park."

I blush at his words. We go on a couple more rides. As we walk around, searching for our next target, a rumbling sound interrupts us.

"Ah, sorry" Jin laughs, "That's my stomach. Do you want to get something to eat?"

"Sure!" I smile.

We wander around, eventually finding a small ice cream truck. We go up and wait for the two people ahead of us before ordering.

"I'll have chocolate" Jin says while turning to me.

"Um, could I get mint chocolate?"

The worker writes our order down and hands us the cones after they're done making them. We continue our stroll until settling on a bench in the park. The bench is on the small side, so me and Jin are quite close to each other.

I munch on my ice cream before Jin breaks the silence, "Mint chocolate, huh?"

"I love mint chocolate! I haven't had it in so long! Don't tell me..." I send him an accusing look.

"I'm sorry, I really don't like mint chocolate.."

"Really?" I gasp, "I guess that's okay. It's not for everyone."

"I do like you though.. so maybe I'll give it a second chance"

Before I can even react to his flirt, he swoops in and licks my ice cream.

"Hey!" I shout.

"Hmm" He mumbles while chewing, "Y'know what? It's not bad. Maybe it's because you're here" He winks at me.

"T-that's" I stutter, trying to hide my blushing face behind the small waffle cone, "that's not fair!"

"What? Do you want to try mine too?" He smirks while passing me the ice cream.

Hesitantly, I lean forward and try his. The chocolaty flavor of the ice cream melts in my mouth, closely met by a painful brain freeze. I rub my forehead and groan at the pain.

"Oh no, brain freeze?" He asks. I nod.

He continues to eat his ice cream while basking in the glorious afternoon sun, "You're so cute..."

————————

The rest of the day went by well. We went on a couple more rides, took some pictures at a Photo Booth, and had dinner. The sun was saying goodbye to us, waving it's orange and pink hues through the sky. We walked through a small park on the way back to my house.

"So, how do you feel?" He asks, referencing the date.

"Terrible." I reply bluntly.

"What?! Why?? Was it something I did?" He panics.

"It was the best day of my life. I'm sad that it's over."

"Oh," he laughs in relief, putting an arm around my shoulder, "Me too. But it doesn't have to be over just yet"

I freeze and look up at him.

"One more lap around the park?" He suggests.

I grin and agree.

——————————-

We walk up the narrow steps to my door, his arm still over my shoulders.

"Thank you so much for agreeing to go on this date with me" He said.

"Yeah, thank you for asking me." I reply, "Though I can't imagine why you did."

"Aigoo," he reaches up to ruffle my hair, "You were so charming when I first met you, but now that I've spent more time with you..."

I stand still in front of the door, fearing his answer. This is it. This is when he says that I'm weird or not funny or that he doesn't like me.

He notices my nerves and boops my nose, "You're more than just a pretty face. You're so funny. I want to go out again sometime,- i-if that's okay with you-"

"Definitely!" I squeal.

We agreed to exchange LINE accounts instead of numbers. I passed him my phone as he typed in the digits, sending himself a quick message so he'd have mine too. As he gave my phone back, I noticed the name he'd saved his contact under:

'Your Jinnie <3'

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

Text

The Light of Dead Stars (06) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language, alcohol consumption; sensual jokes; feelings (18+)

Chapter Word count: 12k

Series Masterlist | Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

A/N: Hmm things are starting to really pick up now!

So all these years–since when?–he had been seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.

You’re greeted with a large bowl of ramyeon when you enter your best friend’s apartment, exciting your senses. For all the Korean ingredients at Jin’s grandparents’ holiday home, instant noodles is what they didn’t have, and you’d been too busy at work since you got back that you hadn’t thought of making it yourself.

You spent yesterday at your parents’ for a day trip and it’s now Sunday, your deserved day for your friends to catch up. You give Jungkook the set of essential oils you got him for his 2 dozen diffusers; Dara gets her fancy wine because she thinks she needs more sophisticated booze in her system; and Jimin is gifted with a pair of earrings that are as pretty as he is.

“Aww, ___. You didn’t have to, but these are so pretty,” he chirps.

“Yah, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love this but aren’t you saving up to pay off your debts quicker so you can get out of that sham marriage of yours?” Dara asks.

You chuckle, missing her bluntness. “Well, I set aside money for this since I didn’t want to seem pitiful to Jin. Plus, he would’ve spent for me if I didn’t buy anything,” you explain. “Also, it’s not a sham marriage, okay? Just an unconventional one.”

“An unconventional one with feelings,” Jungkook says, slurping his soup.

You glare at him.

“What? You’re not denying it,” he glares back.

“Well, I’m denying it now,” you state.

“That could mean refusal to admit the truth,” he says.

“Or a declaration of untruth,” you arch a brow. “Why are you trying to outsmart me, Kook? Jin and I had 2 weeks in France where we pretended to be in love. Sure, it wasn’t hard; we sort of just had to be our usual comfortable selves with some hand holding and kissing, no big deal.”

“If those plump lips touched any part of me, I’d be in love,” Dara, unsurprisingly, says.

“I’m not you, so there’s that,” you counter.

“Fine, if you don’t wanna talk about Jin, then let’s talk about the other fine ass man in your life, aka Joonie boy,” she says. “How was seeing him? What did you talk about other than him suggesting that you run away with him?”

You sigh, recalling that day. It feels so far away yet the scent and the touch and the sound of him still linger.

“Stuff,” you shrug. “Some things can be said over the phone or written in letters and some, you just have to hear and see them, you know? He’s well, doing lots of amazing things and enjoying every minute of it. He asked if Jin treats me well and I said yes, and he looked pleased. And I just talked about work and mundane things.”

“Wow, years of not seeing each other and you just caught up?” Dara asks, unimpressed.

“I know,” you sigh, leaning on Jimin’s shoulder and hugging the pillow for comfort. “I thought maybe he’d bring up coming home or seeing how he and I could work out. But he waited until the last minute to ask if I wanted to go to Italy with him, start a life there, as if he just thought of it right before we had to part again.”

“God, what is up with that man? Why can’t he just make a decision?” Jimin groans.

“He did,” Jungkook chimes in. “He decided to stay then, and then decided to leave, and he decides every day that whatever his life out there is better than the one he could have next to her.”

“Ooh, that burns,” Dara pouts.

“I keep thinking that maybe that last-second invite to elope meant he’s still holding onto the rope by its edges,” you say, ignoring Jungkook’s statement.

“Yeah, just so he doesn’t lose you completely, but he’s not pulling you back in, either,” he counters.

You release a long sigh and play with your fingers, which is your usual tell that you’re holding back from crying, so Jimin snuggles you - the rare time you let him - and you drown in his embrace. You’ve been trying hard to keep your emotions at bay since you saw Namjoon, not knowing what to think or feel about seeing the man you’ve wanted for so long walk away again.

“Did you ask him to come back? I mean, he asked you to run away with him, but there’s another option, which is him being with you, here,” Dara says.

“I don’t want to be disappointed so I don’t ask, because he’ll just say it’ll be soon like he always does, and I’ll wait because what else is there left to do?”

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t ask again. At least then you didn’t give him a chance to make another promise he can’t keep,” Jimin tries to comfort you. “But you gotta be realistic, too, you know? How long will you be waiting? You’ve got a life here, with your husband who's a pretty great guy.”

“A husband who has a girlfriend,” you correct.

“Hmm, let’s see how long that lasts,” Jungkook says, yelping when you throw the pillow on his face.

“What! I’m just saying. You spend 2 weeks in France with your husband being all lovey-dovey and you can’t tell me that neither of you are looking for that same intimacy you had there. It’s not like he could get that from her daily now that you’re both back,” he continues. “Which brings me to my question - how have you guys been since you got back?”

“Hmm, the same I guess? We've been so busy at work, we barely see each other. We haven’t had dinner for the past 3 days since he’s always in meetings or probably seeing Seri and then I went to see my parents yesterday.”

“And now you’re here with us,” Dara cocks an eyebrow.

“I miss you guys,” you flutter your eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. But Kook’s onto something, though. You went through college faking smiles at me so I know when it’s genuine. And those photos with Jin tell me just how much fun you had with him. Who knows what he’s thinking, too?” She adds. “But just to remind you, there’s wedding ceremony #2 coming up. Are you ready for another night of faking? If that’s still what it is?”

You disregard her last question but agree with being ready. Honestly, Jin is the one who feels quite far away from you. After 2 weeks of sleeping next to him and waking up to his soft smile, the past few days feel different.

It’s not that you miss him. You definitely don’t because that’s just insane, but it’s like reality truly hit you - you’re back to living under the same roof but separately; he still has a girlfriend and there’s still a man who chooses everyday to not be with you. Jin has barely spoken to you since you both got back, and there’s that part of you that wonders if those 2 weeks had just been a dream, and you hate that it suddenly matters; you hate that you wish it didn’t.

Jin isn’t avoiding you. Or more like, he convinces himself that he isn’t avoiding you.

The night you both got back, he didn’t get a wink of sleep. He tossed and turned in bed when he’s usually a stiff sleeper. He kept shifting to his side, telling himself he didn’t wish that it was your snoring that he was met with.

It felt like he’d just closed his eyes and then his alarm was going off, which was also rare since he always woke up before it. It was obvious that he didn’t sleep and he knew you’d notice and he wouldn’t know what to say so he rushed to work and didn’t wait for you. He was filled with meetings that next day until the late evening and had Yoongi look for a nice restaurant that was still open at 11PM. Jin did the same thing the next day.

He woke up late that Saturday to a text of you saying that you’d be taking the train to Gwangju, and he completely forgot about it because if he actually spoke to you, you’d remind him, but he’d been chickening out even just texting you so he wasn’t able to have Mr. Lim drive you there, so he spent that day worrying about you instead.

Yesterday, you went out with your friends. He figured that you were trying to spend time with others after those 2 weeks with him and he doesn’t blame you. Maybe if he took up Seri’s invitation to meet up that weekend, he’d have something to do, but it didn’t feel right being with her. That, and he really had to sleep, so he spent it playing games the whole day and then passing out in bed after.

It’s now Monday and he feels like he’d just run a marathon. He’s still exhausted, and while he psyched himself up to see you in the morning, you’re the one who was out early to attend a food expo just outside the city.

He’s about to snap at Yoongi for chiding him for avoiding you when you suddenly call, and Jin almost drops his phone in surprise but then lets it ring thrice before he picks up.

“Hey, ___. Everything okay? How is it there?” He asks, trying to sound calm.

“Yeah I’m fine, and it’s nice here. I’m getting a few ideas but I’ve mostly been eating,” you chuckle. “And you?”

“Good, just running through some things with Yoongi,” he replies. “It’s midday but I feel like I’ve barely done much.”

“Well, you’ve been so busy. I checked on you last night to see if you wanted to have dinner with me but you were passed out in bed. Please tell me you’ve at least been eating,” you sigh.

You went to check up on him last night? Damn it.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Eating is something I cannot miss,” he says.

“Okay, good. So, uh, will you be free tonight? I’m craving pizza. I’ve been thinking about the one we had in one of the alleys in Grasse,” you reply dreamily. “So maybe we can have that, if you’re not too busy?”

“Tonight?” Jin asks, checking his tablet after Yoongi makes an “X” sign to see what he’s gonna have to reschedule. It’s a late afternoon meeting with one of their Asian distributors and that usually lasts hours.

“Sure, I can see you tonight,” Jin says to Yoongi’s dismay, who merely shakes his head because he really doesn’t like talking to that man’s secretary. “Will you still drop by here or I’ll meet you at the restaurant instead?

“I can meet you at the restaurant; it’ll be a while before I get to leave here.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then,” he says, hanging up after you say your goodbye.

Yoongi’s arched eyebrow is what meets him as he looks up.

“Didn’t you just postpone dinner with Seri because you wanted tonight’s meeting to be done with?”

“Uh, well. ___ is my wife,” he says. “I’ve barely seen her since we got back.”

“Yeah, from your 2-week vacation together,” Yoongi reminds him. “Looked like you enjoyed your time there, then.”

There’s no malice in the secretary’s voice or any hint of something suggestive. It’s merely a statement of an observation, one that Jin immediately confirms.

“I’m glad you did,” Yoongi mumbles. “You deserved that break and at least you spent it with someone you like being with.”

Jin can’t help the smile that graces his face until he catches himself. Thinking about you the past few days has been giving him stress, but hearing you again after what feels so long and finding out that you checked up on him in his room - which you barely do - makes him feel better, like all is right again in the world.

Almost.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but just… don’t forget to schedule that dinner with Seri, okay?” Yoongi states. “I saw her this morning and she told me to make sure you’re eating and taking your vitamins since she assumes you’re stressed and busy.”

“Yah! Of course I am!” Jin scowls. “When am I not?”

“You are today but you’re rescheduling a meeting for dinner with your wife.” Yoongi walks closer and faces the phone lying on the desk with 3 unread messages from Seri towards Jin. “I’m just saying, if things are changing, you’re gonna have to make a decision soon. You can’t do this to either of them, even to yourself.”

You anxiously wait at the Italian restaurant that you told Jin about earlier, somehow counting the minutes until he arrives.

After your talk with your best friends yesterday, you knew you had to stop avoiding him, too, because in a way, you were. For one, you weren’t bugging him like you usually do, and you weren’t texting him either.

As your longest friend, Jungkook had been firing from all cylinders, pretty much since the beginning of this whole ordeal; he’s just doing it less subtly this time. But he hugged you before you left his apartment last night and reminded you that choosing yourself doesn’t always mean hanging onto the only things that are familiar, that the next person who could love you may just be right around the corner. Dara and Jimin had been the ones to suggest to just try to go back to how things were before the trip - you and Jin minded your own business but still had nights or days that you’d spend together.

You thought it would be last night but he was fast asleep in bed. Mrs. Kang had said that he spent the entire day playing his games and you wondered, for the briefest moment, why he chose not to spend it with Seri, since you heard from Mrs. Kang that he was also just at home but that Seri wasn’t there. But you remind yourself it’s nothing you should worry or even think about.

You didn’t want to go on being strangers or ghosts living under the same roof because it would be more awkward once you have to pretend being in love again this Saturday. The thought makes you dizzy, especially since there will be more people around, including her, and you do need to strategize with your husband. The last thing you want is to make it seem like you’re rubbing in her face that he’s legally with you, even if deep inside you know that it’s only on paper. He’s hung onto Seri long enough.

“Hey, did I make you wait too long?” Jin’s low voice shakes you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, no, not at all,” you say, standing up, and you look at each other awkwardly.

“Are we supposed to hug?” He chuckles.

“Uh, yeah sure,” you respond, leaning forward to lightly wrap your arms around his waist while his wrap around your shoulders, taking in his spicy scent that you’ve been without these past few days. “Sorry, I thought we’re gonna have to get used to it again.”

Jin’s smile falls a little but he doesn’t think you notice. “Of course. Tae and Hyun-a are coming back on Wednesday and it’s last minute preps for Saturday. Mother and Father are the ones stressed about it since there are 600 guests.”

“Oh goodness. Do you think we can just say hi one time and then be done with it?” You ask, worrying about how you’re going to handle socializing with that many people because as Jin’s mother had told you before, your husband is now just as much the head of the family as his father is, and that extends to you, as his wife.

“Well, wouldn’t that be ideal,” he sighs. “It’s my brother’s wedding but I have to engage with guests as much as he does.”

“Speaking of which,” you mumble, “Seri’s gonna be there, right? How are we, uh… how are we supposed to, uh…”

“Act?”

“Yeah? I mean, she’s your girlfriend and–”

“And you’re my wife, that I’m supposed to be in love with,” he says much too sharply.

“Yeah, but you aren’t, and the woman you’re actually into, who got to you first, is gonna be there,” you point out. “It was okay before because she wasn’t around but now she will be and I don’t want to make her feel bad. I know you say she’s fine with the whole situation but she’s never had to see us be sweet or affectionate before, and after France, I’m pretty sure your family’s gonna be expecting the same or more.”

“I know,” he sighs. “I’ll give her a heads up and maybe caution her, ask her to not let it affect her too much. I’ll see her before Saturday.

“Okay,” you smile, somewhat feeling lighter now that you’re assured. “Now on to dinner.”

Your initial worry of things being weird quickly melts away. After those first few minutes have gone, it’s as if you and Jin didn’t spend the last 4 days unintentionally dodging each other.

You get 2 orders of pizza and pasta because you couldn’t decide, and then finish the rest of it over wine when you get back home, laughing and talking like you both don’t have work in the morning. But you both hold your liquor well and are only a tad bit tipsy when you decide to end the night.

It feels nice being this way again, being this comfortable and secure in this odd relationship with him, and despite the act you have to put on, you admit that there’s a tiny part of you that truly believes in the sincerity in all this, that somehow, it was meant to be like this. And you’ll take it, if only not to lose him as a friend.

Seri excitedly opens her door and waits for Jin to be inside her apartment before she wraps her arms around his waist.

“I miss you so much,” she sighs, feeling as if all is right in the world again.

It’s been too long, she thinks, from that 2-week trip to France to another week of him being busy with all the work that definitely greeted him when he got back. She didn’t expect that he’d ask to have dinner at her apartment, though, as she’d somehow gotten used to the guesthouse at his place that he shares with you, but she’ll take it. This isn’t the longest that they’ve been apart; there was a time when they were completely broken up, she reminds herself, and after they got back together again, she’d gotten used to whatever time that he could spend with her, knowing that she can’t really demand anything, especially since she isn’t the type of person to do that.

“Hey,” Jin responds, pulling away and smiling at her. “How have you been?”

“Good,” she beams, taking the bag of takeout from him and setting the table. “I mean, nothing new nor exciting. What about you? How was your trip, by the way?”

Jin looks visibly nervous, so she takes his hand and motions for him to look at her. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ve thought of all the possibilities of what could’ve happened there so you don’t have to worry. All I ever asked of you was to be honest with me.”

Seri has always been kind. It’s one of the things that stood out to him when he first met her as part of his management team. She’s bubbly and bright, easy to get along with, and incredibly charming. She’s caring and understanding, and he doesn’t recall a time when she ever frowned or got angry; even their rare little arguments from before never cracked her, neither have the 5 years of being his secret.

So he tells her everything - the one bed, the dances, the kisses, the fake couple photos, the food explorations.

“It wasn’t hard now, was it?” She giggles. “I remember you worrying how it was going to be since you and ___ aren’t that close or comfortable. But it seems like it worked out well. I’m glad you didn’t stress out too much about it.”

“Well, I had to be the calm one for her. She was worried about you,” Jin shares, “worried about what you’d think or feel.”

“Five years is a long time, Jin, you should tell her that,” she smiles, the irony unmistakable for him. “I’m still here with you, and nothing has changed that. She’s why I still get to be with you, anyway.”

Jin takes in Seri’s features - there’s innocence and maturity and care bursting from her entire being, from her eyes and her smile and the way she holds his hand like she understands everything that he says and doesn’t say, like she accepts everything that’s happened and is happening.

“But, uh, my whole family bought the act,” he continues. “And it’s the second celebration on Saturday. ___ and I will, uh–”

“Oh, I know. Don’t think I haven’t thought about that. There’s going to be a bigger audience there, and I totally understand. I’ll look away if I need to, but I’ll be fine.”

He nods, feeling a bit of weight has gone off his back, but the rest of it is still there.

There’s something different being here this time, after all that time with you where you both held hands and hugged and kissed out in the open, where you both got to enjoy amazing food and saw stunning views in paradise. A few times before he’d imagined doing that with Seri, but something else always blurred the vision, and he honestly doesn’t remember when the last time was that he thought about all those with her.

He realizes it when she kisses him goodbye, her soft lips that he used to look for no longer giving him that sensation, that pleasure, that excitement. He’d held onto those feelings of exhilaration and eagerness for years, and he realizes those are all it was for him - that high, that elation, that fleeting emotion that he could escape to.

He wonders, on the way home, if this is really it, if the feeling for her had faded just because he’d come back from something totally amazing and felt the alternative, or if the feeling had waned some time ago, and he’d just been holding on to what was left, hoping it would be enough to revive what once was.

Checking his phone, he sighs at his reality. Yoongi had texted: Thanks for the lobster risotto. I’m just going to pretend that I don’t know that Seri’s allergic to seafood, but I will point out that I’m only able to eat this because you made the wrong order; this is ___’s favorite, after all.

You look at yourself in the full-body mirror of the bedroom in the suite you’ve checked into for the wedding and you still can’t believe you could look this good, and you have the gown mostly to thank for that.

“Hey, Jin,” you call out to your husband who’s dressing up in the living room. “I’ve got my hair and make-up done and I look pretty amazing.”

“Oh yeah? That’s new,” he teasingly chuckles.

“Just letting you know in case I catch the eye of one of the celebrities there.”

“Ah, well you might catch their eye, but talking to them is altogether different,” he reminds you. “But I’ll give you the push you need, if you want. I heard Hyun Bin will be there.”

“Yah! He’s married,” you yell.

“Yeah, so are you.”

“Son Yejin in exchange for me; you win,” you laugh, opening the door and feeling the air knocked out of you. Of course, your husband always has to look more beautiful than you.

He’s wearing a textured charcoal suit with his hair pushed back, exposing his entire forehead. You’d think you’d be immune to him since you see him on a daily basis in fancy suits for work, parted hair and all. But he looks even more sophisticated and classy this time, and you didn’t think that was possible.

“Son Yejin gets me, so yeah, she wins, too,” he winks, knowing just how much he’d affected you.

“I concede, then,” you smile, letting yourself marvel at his beauty. Maybe when the socializing gets too much, you can just look at him and all will be okay.

“So, shall we, Mrs. Kim,” he takes out his hand.

“We shall, Mr. Kim. Let’s get this over with.”

You and Jin pass by the holding room, where Taehyung and Hyun-a are taking photos, before heading to the venue.

“You’re already married. Why are you still crying?” Seokjin nudges his brother.

“Because I’m even more in love with her!” Taehyung states. “Plus, we’re declaring our love in front of hundreds of people. It’s pretty special being able to do that, you know?”

The words hit Seokjin more than he expected, and if he knows any better, his brother is probably telling him something.

“What a romantic,” you remark, smiling at the lovely couple who look just as gorgeous as they were when they got married in the chateau a few weeks ago.

“Not like him, I know,” Taehyung motions towards his brother. “Sorry about that.”

“Not like I mind,” you shrug.

Their parents and grandparents arrive for family portraits and it takes a while for all the photos to be taken. You and Jin make sure there are those without you, too. When everyone is satisfied, you and your husband are the first to exit the room and head to the ballroom for the ceremony.

There are so many people, as the guest list is in the hundreds and it’s open to the public as well. Jin’s hand searches yours, and you get a firm grip so as not to lose him in the sea of people.

You hear your name being called and you turn to see your best friends there. Jimin is dashing in a black suit; Jungkook is wearing a navy blue one and is already turning heads; and Dara, in her body-hugging blush gown, looks so beautiful.

“You’re stunning,” Jungkook says as he hugs you.

Jimin says the same, in awe at how well you carry yourself with so much confidence, and Dara declares she’s officially crushing on you.

“Wow, did I really need to get all dolled up for you to compliment me like this?” You tease them.

“Nah. You don’t like being complimented so we don’t say it but your husband is here and we don’t want him to think that we find you unattractive,” Dara explains.

Jin chuckles next to you and you reintroduce him to your friends.

“Hi, nice to see both of you again,” he shakes Jungkook’s and Dara’s hands and nods at Jimin. “I know we don’t see each other much but ___ talks about you a fair bit.”

“Yeah, not enough I’m sure since she’s probably embarrassed,” Jungkook states, earning him an eager nod from you.

“Holy shit, you’re unreal,” Dara exclaims. “You look even hotter than the last time I saw you, which was during your wedding and you were already so hot then.” She turns to you, and you already know she’s gonna say something incredibly embarrassing, but at least she doesn’t yell it. “___, why the fuck aren’t you in love with this guy?”

“Oh, Dara. Never change,” Jimin chuckles. “Apologies for our friend, Mr. Kim. She’s, uh, she’s a very honest person.”

“It’s fine,” Jin smiles, glancing at you. “It’s quite refreshing, actually.”

“Do you have hot friends you can introduce me to?” She continues.

“I can introduce you to my secretary, Yoongi. He’s cool and he takes care of me well. I think we’re each other’s only friends,” Jin chuckles, gesturing towards one of the tables where the man sits on his own.

“Ooh, uninterested sexy man with a soft heart, I can tell, totally my type,” Dara swoons.

“Please, don’t traumatize him. Jimin can help you find others to pounce on but both of you behave,” you warn. “And Kook, please don’t be awkward when someone tries to flirt with you, okay? Jin and I have to go around and greet guests and I’ll get back to you all after.”

“Yes, maam,” they all salute and laugh at you while you roll your eyes.

“Go do your wifey duties and don’t forget to act like a couple,” Jungkook winks.

You pull Jin away and apologize for your friends. “They like messing with me and there’s no filter even when you’re around.”

“Ah, I’d rather they don’t. I like messing with you, too,” he teases.

“No, you’re supposed to protect me,” you pout, and Jin has to stop himself from pulling you in a hug because of how adorable you look.

“Fine, you brat,” you pinches your nose, and you realize that it’s been a while since he last did that.

You’re about to squish his cheeks when a group of people greet both of you, and you and Jin turn to them and bow. Your smiles briefly fade at the sight of a familiar face who greets you with her soft, wide eyes.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” Seri bows after everyone does. “Please send our congratulations to the Vice President and his wife.”

She sounds so formal, so distant, and somehow your heart breaks for her, and you can only smile and nod, following her eyes which briefly look at your hand engulfed in Jin’s. You quickly pull away, something your husband notices.

“Thank you, Ms. Wong, everyone,” Jin bows. “I’m sure they’re happy that his entire team is here. Taehyung did mention treating you guys out after all the wedding celebrations are over. He owes you a lot for all the weeks he missed at work.”

They all chuckle and agree, and even you can tell that Taehyung is loved by his team - Jin’s former team - as well. They bid their goodbye and Seri bows to you and Jin once more, sharing a lingering look with your husband.

You can’t imagine how it must be like for them, and for her especially, seeing the man she loves be open and affectionate with another woman, something he couldn’t do with her. You turn to Jin who looks visibly upset, so you nudge his arm to look at you.

“I’m so sorry, Jin,” you try to comfort him, though you don’t really know what to say.

“It’s okay. She and I have talked about it,” he feigns a smile.

It’s harder than you think, not so much because you think it hurts him not being the way he is with you with Seri, but because being the way he is with you is what’s starting to feel right, it’s what’s starting to make him happy.

The rest of the afternoon was as tiring as you expected. It literally took 2 hours for the guests to be completed and to get settled and that meant you and Jin had to spend that time greeting them on behalf of his parents and grandparents. It’s one of the “President roles,” you were told.

But you clung onto Jin the whole time - commending him whenever someone praises him for how well he’s been handling the company and smiling at him whenever someone congratulates both of you for your marriage.

It got a little awkward when the CEO of Song Corporation said how good you both looked together. You were at least appeased when she said that she’s heard you speak in a conference and was impressed with you, and such competence is “a good match to the Kim Foods Inc. President,” that is, until you saw Seri standing nearby, and you could tell she heard everything. There was that faraway look in her eyes, and she turned to you specifically with a smile before she walked away.

You hate feeling like you’re taking someone’s man, and sometimes you wished she was a cruel, jealous person so at least it didn’t feel this bad. But she’s nothing like that and somehow it makes it worse. You tried your best to brush off the thought and focus on your role for today.

The ceremony was beautiful. It was still emotional, as Taehyung really took his time in saying his vows, sharing bits about their honeymoon and how those 2 weeks just solidified how much he loves her. Hyun-a was a lot more candid, sharing how much of a whiny baby her husband could be, but that he’d made her feel so loved during that trip and she can’t wait for how the rest of their lives are going to be.

You were, again, starstruck by all the celebrities you saw. They were all dazzling and gorgeous, as you expected, and Jin had been the encouraging husband who said “you look more amazing” every time you commented how stunning they looked. He made sure to look into your eyes whenever he said them so you’d know he meant it, but somehow, that made you feel nervous more than anything, especially as you could tell that he wasn’t saying them just because.

But despite the exhaustion of walking around and greeting and bowing and conversing with hundreds of people, which carried over to the reception, it was a fun one, as you and Jin found ways to entertain yourselves in between, laughing and teasing and making jokes.

You were seated on the table with Sejeong and Hyo-seop, and from a few tables away, your best friends were seated together with Yoongi who seemed quite happy being with other people who weren't your husband.

“Make that Dara-Yoongi thing happen,” Jin had said, and you commented that your friend might scare him away.

“Well, let’s give them time to get to know each other, then, in a calmer and casual environment,” he suggested, and that’s why you’re currently here - at your suite’s living room, having drinks with your best friends with light music in the background.

There was a bit of music and dance at the reception after dinner and the program, and the hotel bar was rented out for the after-party. You all stayed there for half an hour before you and Jin decided that it’s really not your scene, and you proposed staying at one of the lounges instead.

But Dara complained that her feet were aching and honestly, so were yours, so Jin said it was okay to stay at your suite since it’s big enough to hold all of you anyway. Yoongi seemed to have warmed up to your friends so he joined you, and now you’re all enjoying the fancy champagne, charcuterie board, and platter of desserts that your husband ordered.

Dara’s shoes are off and so are yours, and your gown is loose enough for you to still wear it, despite all the food you’d consumed tonight. The men have removed their coats and are seated comfortably on the couch. Jin is next to you, polo sleeves now rolled up to his elbows and tie loosened, looking comfortable and at ease.

You’re all talking about how you and Jungkook met when you were kids before your parents were friends, and how you’d taken care of a drunk Dara in freshman year of college and how you became inseparable after, and how Jimin tried to set you up with one of your co-workers during your first year at the company but you and he ended up getting close instead.

Yoongi talks about being Jin’s secretary for years and turning down a higher position offer at another company because he liked working for the Kim family and well, both introverts seem to get along just fine. You’re laughing and sharing stories when Jin nudges your arm, alerting you that your phone is ringing.

You look at the table where it is and your photo with Namjoon fills up the screen, and your face lights up as you pick up the device, excusing yourself, and then heading to the balcony for the call.

“Who was it?” Jungkook asks.

“Namjoon,” Jin says dryly.

“How does that make you feel?” The younger man follows up.

“That they talk? Uh, nothing, really,” Jin shrugs. “I mean, they’re obviously something more than best friends and that’s good for ___, having someone who cares for her the way Namjoon does.”

“Yeah, well caring and not fulfilling a promise are two different things. It’s not enough to just say things and then not act on them,” Jungkook states bitterly.

“Do you… not like Namjoon? I heard you and him were the ones there for her during those tough years in college, and yeah, Dara, too,” Jin asks.

“I like him as a friend, sure. I owed him big time during ___’s toughest years because I couldn’t be there for her as often as I wanted but after everything and after all this time, he’s still a distant being who’ll continue to be far away, and it’s just calls and letters that make her feel close to him,” Jungkook says. “Is that a way to love someone?”

“But she still does, doesn’t she?” Jin asks nervously, unsure if he’s ready to hear the answer or not.

“Well, she hasn’t said it in a while. She hasn’t really talked about it much since you two got married,” Jimin answers this time. “And I was honestly surprised that she didn’t make seeing him in France as big a deal as I expected. But I guess it’s just how it is when so much time has passed and both people just get used to the monotony of the relationship, you know? Especially when it’s the same distance, the same act of hoping, of wishing things would change. Maybe the love just fades away and withers without them realizing that they have.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Jin mindlessly says, causing the 4 other people to look at him curiously, the tinge of surprise painting their faces because how could he get it unless it’s something he’s felt - or feels - too?

“You do, huh?” Yoongi arches his brow.

“I mean, it’s a universal feeling, right?” Jin shrugs, trying to get out of it.

Your friends decide to let it go, opting to talk about something else but Yoongi doesn’t want to let it go just yet.

“Does it maybe have anything to do with your girl of 5 years whom you’ve been distancing yourself from since you got back from France?” He whispers next to his boss. “Perhaps the feelings have faded and you’re now realizing that they have.”

Jin looks at his colleague, his friend who’s had his back for years and who perhaps knows him more than anyone. It’s a realization he doesn’t want to acknowledge or fully admit, primarily because he doesn’t want to face all the consequences of such thought and feeling. His sullen, guilty eyes say enough, and Yoongi just knows.

You get back inside before either man could say anything, and you smile at all of them and ask what you’ve missed. No one dares bring up the call, knowing you’d talk about it when you’re ready.

The conversation gets back to sharing embarrassing moments from your college days, Jin’s university life in SNU and post-grad in London, and all the office gossip from the past as filled in by Jimin.

It’s all laughter and new discoveries, and you like seeing this side of your husband - carefree, intrigued, and a little unfiltered. With all the stress he’s under, you enjoy seeing him be a little bit ordinary in a sense, enjoying drinks with people his age, talking about things that aren’t work or business related.

With the food and drinks wiped out and your friends having sobered up after getting drunk, you all say your goodbyes. It’s past 2AM and you’re exhausted, and Jin lets you get ready for bed while he cleans up in the living room.

You’re dozing off by the time he gets to your shared bed, but you wake up a little when he scoots closer and pulls the covers over your body.

“Hey,” you say sleepily. “Thanks for cleaning up.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know it took a lot from you to socialize tonight. Thank you for being next to me,” he smiles, affectionately pinching your nose.

“Of course, Jin. Where else would I be?”

His heart jumps at the sight of your tender smile, and he wants nothing more than to see that every day.

“Nowhere else,” he whispers, but you hear it and choose not to respond.

“The celebrations are over. We did it,” you say, pulling out his heart now and reminding him what all this is - fleeting, temporary, unreal. “Thanks for not making it hard for me. I appreciate it.”

Your eyes flutter close and he’s glad that you don’t hear the thundering of his heart.

“I don’t ever want it to be hard for you, even if it means it’s hard for me.” He whispers, caressing your cheek as his form of goodnight. “Sleep well, ___. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You get a good night’s sleep and wake up the next day with hangover soup that Jin prepared for you, and then spend the rest of the day in the bedroom resting again.

The days after that feel like a blur. You go back to your normal routine with Jin - going to the office together, waiting for each other if you’re able and then going home to dinner that Mrs. Kang had made. You still cook him breakfast that weekend while he cooks your dinner, and you spend those 2 days together doing the grocery, going to Taehyung and Hyun-a’s new apartment for a welcome dinner, and then watching a cooking documentary about Italy on Netflix.

On Monday morning, Jin leaves for a business trip to Qatar. The next 2 days feel a little lonely but he messages you photos of his meals and to talk about how the conference is going and how Doha is like, saying that it’s a place you should definitely visit.

You’re excited that he seems excited, but what’s striking is how this time, he’s expressive in how he can’t wait to get home, mostly to cook you this new recipe he discovered, and partly because he says that Yoongi hasn’t been the best companion. His secretary is always on his phone with Dara during post-work hours, leaving a lonely Jin to drink in the hotel bar by himself.

You choose to dwell on the fact that your best friend and Yoongi - quite an unlikely pair, if you’re being honest - are hitting it off.

But you focus on your own thing while your husband is away. There are a few reports you have to review and a trip to one of the farms to make.

It’s Thursday by the time you feel it.

You’d gone to the farm and then the production site last Tuesday and ate a few things there and on the way, so it was probably something spoiled or contaminated that’s causing your stomach pain and severe headache.

You somewhat managed on Wednesday, going to the washroom a few times and feeling a little dehydrated. But by the next day, it had gotten too much. You decided to work at home instead and got a bit of work done, but you were too tired and dozed off instead.

The next morning, you wake up to several messages from your husband asking if you’re okay. You say you’re feeling under the weather after you call him, not wanting him to worry since he’s got a few important meetings lined up, but you spend the rest of it walking from the bathroom to the bed, feeling like you’re not improving despite the ginger tea you’ve been drinking and the hot pads all over your body.

It’s that same Friday in the early afternoon when Jin arrives, exhausted from the trip and the flight where he still had to work while on the way back. It’s the longest he’s been away from you since France, and that sinking feeling of what he’s feeling lays heavy on him.

There’s much to analyze and assess, as he’d told Yoongi during the night he finally got his friend and colleague to join him for drinks and the younger man had stated the obvious that of course he noticed that something has changed. But Jin doesn’t want to dive into it yet, afraid of making a premature assumption or decision about what he needs to do.

It’s possible that those 2 weeks in France and the affection he felt towards you were meant to be fleeting, perhaps brought about by the romantic nature of the trip. It could be that you were close and Seri was far away, and maybe he was just missing affection and you were there, willing to give it to him, too. Maybe he’s just a stupid guy who doesn’t know shit and can’t understand what he’s feeling or can’t own up to it, but either one is just as bad.

But when he exits the plane, waits for almost an hour for Mr. Lim, and then gets informed on why the chauffeur was late, all those things don’t seem to matter as much, because all he can think of is you.

“I had to rush Mrs. Kim to the hospital,” Mr. Lim had said. “She hasn’t been feeling well for days and Mrs. Kang thought it would be best if she went to get checked already.”

“Take me there now,” Jin had told the driver. “And cancel the rest of my day,” he’d instructed oongi.

Jin arrives at the hospital, demanding you to be moved to the VIP room despite the nurse telling him that you insisted on staying at a private room because you’re just there for monitoring.

“I don’t care, she’s still sick. Move her there, now,” Jin demands.

You’re a little groggy when you feel the bed moving and hear chatter nearby. You also feel like you’re dreaming when you hear Jin’s low-tone voice asking the doctor some things. When you feel like you’ve stopped moving, you decide to open your eyes.

“Hey, who are you fighting?” You ask sleepily.

“The nurse who kept you in a private room,” he groans.

“Fight me instead,” you mumble. “I said I didn’t want a VIP room. Too big for me; you weren’t there anyway.”

“I’m here now. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” he says.

“That’s stupid,” you manage to chuckle. “You had a work trip. But you’re here now though.”

“Yeah, and I’ll stay here, okay? Let’s talk when you don’t sound like an inebriated old man.”

“Ugh, you annoy me sometimes, Kim Seokjin,” you giggle. “Now stop being angry and wait for me to wake up again.”

You wake up 2 hours later, feeling not much better than you did some time ago, but there’s still an improvement somehow. You turn to your side and find Jin with one hand clasping yours and another, typing away on his tablet.

“Looks like you need your other hand,” you say, letting him go, but he doesn’t let you.

“How are you feeling?” He asks worriedly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Still terrible. Did they say where I got it?”

“Hopefully something you ate on the way there because the farm and production site is going to hear it from me if they served you contaminated food,” he frowns. “Though I had those places checked already and so far, everyone is okay.”

“Relax, I’m still alive,” you chuckle.

“Bacterial infection can get severe, okay?” He frowns again. “And you should’ve gone to the hospital the first day you started feeling unwell.”

“I had so much work to do. Plus, I thought the hot packs and tea were enough,” you shrug. “Do you know what they’re doing to cure me?”

“Antibiotics and some other medicines.”

“Great, so I can leave tonight?”

“No. I asked for another test to make sure this is all we have to worry about,” he responds. “And I’m not comfortable having you stay at home when I can’t be there to look after you.”

“I’m not a baby,” you pout. “And hospital food isn’t all that great. I want Mrs. Kang’s cooking, or yours. Take me home, please?”

“Just spend another day here, okay? Just to be sure. And then I’ll take you home.”

“Fine,” you smile. It’s a soft one, and this makes Jin feel a little more at ease. “Will you stay the night, then?”

“Of course, ___. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jin spends that Friday night with you. He instructs Mrs. Kang to send over both of your clothes and dinner as well. Your best friends visit and tell your husband that you can get a little stubborn when you’re sick so it’s best to follow what you want instead of you doing things on your own. There was one time you left the hospital and freaked everyone out just because you hated the food and you wanted to eat something delicious.

You take the test that Jin asked for the next day, and you spend the rest of it in the hospital to appease him. You’ve experienced way worse than this and never had to go to the hospital; even your parents agree, as you video call them and your mom says that if she lived nearby, she could just send you some soup and tea because those always worked.

“Aish, what would the doctors do but prescribe you things that cost thousands when my love doesn’t cost anything,” your mom says. “They’re just making money off of you, sweetie.”

You see Jin purse his lips and keep himself from saying anything.

He doesn’t get your attitude when it comes to health issues like this and you point out that some things can be resolved by home remedies. Your parents’ care has always been enough to cure you, but living the life that Jin does, you suppose every little thing needs to be taken care of immediately, and money gets you anything. So you follow, if only not to get him even more stressed out, as you see him take multiple work and non work-related calls.

It’s Sunday when you’re finally discharged and being off a hospital gown feels like a breath of fresh air. Jin carries your bags and takes note of all the medicines you have to take and the things you aren’t supposed to do.

“No work for the next few days,” he orders, as he pulls down the covers and gestures for you to lie down, but you remain standing with furrowed eyebrows and a pout on your face.

“What, you can’t make me do that! You’re not the boss of me,” you cross your arms.

“Uh, ___, I kinda am.”

“Rude,” you frown even harder.

“___, these are doctor’s orders,” he says, walking over to where you are. “If you wanna get back to work as soon as possible, then you follow them, and that means taking your medications and resting, and I mean resting.”

“Fine, I’ll follow. No need to talk to me like a kid.”

“I’m sorry, but I just wanted to get ahead of you before you argue with me again.”

“Excuse me, I don’t argue with you!” You gasp, earning you a chuckle.

“Come on, go rest first. I’ll see what I can make you for lunch,” he says, pinching your nose. “And I’m telling you as your boss and your husband - I need you well, okay? So get better soon.”

You survive your first day back at home without any more bickering with Jin. He makes you noodles for lunch and then stew for dinner. Your appetite still isn’t back to normal, and that’s become his indicator for your recovery. He said he wouldn’t believe you’re fully well until you’re able to finish a 3-course meal, and you know he’s got you backed in a corner; you can barely finish a 1/3 cup of rice.

That first night, Jin could barely sleep as he constantly worried about you. He’s not used to it, thinking about someone other than himself. Sure, he’d worried about Seri, but not the same way he’s worrying about you, and that’s just added to his stress about all the things he’s feeling.

He even snuck in your room at 2AM just to make sure you were okay, and there you were, sleeping soundly with your loud snores. He hates to admit that he’s missed that terribly more than anything.

It’s Monday morning and you’d just woken up from the incessant ringing of your phone. You’re about to pick it up when it stops, and you turn to the side to see Jin holding your phone.

“Yes, this is Mr. Kim. I’ve informed ___’s team that she’ll be off for a few days due to health concerns. I believe this can wait, yes?”

He turns to you and is greeted with your wide eyes. Surely, you’ve never heard of him taking work calls that aren’t his.

“I understand, I’ll let her know but expect a response next week. Thank you.”

He hangs up and greets you good morning.

“Uh, who was that?” You ask.

“Someone from Marketing, but it’s okay, I’ve handled it.”

“Sure,” you arch a brow. “And what are you doing here? You should be at work.”

“I am. Or, I will be. I’ll just get a desk in here unless it’s okay if I use yours?”

“Uh, why?”

“Uh… right, why would I be working in my wife’s bedroom. I’ll just go back to my room and work the—”

“Did you want to work here so you can look after me and make sure I don’t work?”

“Not really. I just, uh… I barely slept last night because I kept thinking you were still having your stomach ache and stuff, and I just… you know what, never mind. I’ll just—”

“Stay, please,” you say, knowing that the soft, closeted sweetheart side of him can’t bear knowing you’re still in pain, and you want to show him there’s nothing he should worry about. It’s just an infection, after all, and you already know that the medication’s working.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Just take calls elsewhere, but you can use my desk over there. I’ll put the TV on mute, don’t worry. I’m not in the mood to process anything, anyway,” you assure him.

“Okay then,” he smiles, feeling satisfied.

And that’s how your day is spent - watching a hotel reality TV show on mute, reading a book, and eating whatever Mrs. Kang has prepared. Jin works mostly on reports and other things and takes calls outside. He constantly checks in on you and eats his meals next to you while you both talk about random things.

Later that night, he tucks you in bed. You have medicine that makes you drowsy but you don’t really want to sleep yet. There’s a show you want to watch later on so you ask Jin to stay next to you.

“Wake me up when I doze off,” you say groggily.

“Why would I do that? I want you to sleep already,” he says, though he slides in next to you under the covers.

“So you can rest a bit, too,” you say, leaning on his shoulder that’s leveled with your head. “You kept working today while making sure I was fine. Watch with me.”

There’s a hockey game on and you’ve put it on mute. You know he likes watching sports this way.

You’re softly snoring not long after, and Jin shifts further down so you’re both lying more comfortably. He wants to stay here with you, with his arm wrapped around you in an effort to protect you from anything and everything. But he doesn’t want to scare you, seeing as how close you both are right now; he could basically hear the beating of your heart and he’s afraid you’d wake up and hear the beating of his - fast, erratic, and screaming for you.

So he sneaks out after and softly kisses the top of your head before he leaves, an affectionate act he’s surprised himself he did. There’s so much he wants to say but he doesn’t know how to, and the more he spends time with you like this, the clearer things get. And he’s never been more scared.

The next few days are painfully slow. You’re better by Wednesday but the doctor advised you to work from home for the rest of the week since the medicines would still make you feel weak and sleepy. Jin finally goes to work to attend meetings but he always comes home early and eats dinner with you downstairs.

It’s finally the end of the week and you convinced Jin to go out to see the Han River with you. You’ve been stuck at home, in your room for a whole week and you just want to breathe the air outside and look at the sky and watch strangers walking about. He agrees and picks you up at home after an evening meeting.

He takes you to one of your favorite Southeast Asian restaurants and he talks about work while you talk about the series that you binge-watched today. You go to one of the parks you liked to frequent when you still had the time, something that Jin isn’t that much familiar with.

“I’m into the outdoors in so much as fishing or golfing goes,” he shrugs, earning him a chuckle. “But going to the park or a river and just people watch like this? Not really my thing.”

“So do you go fishing or golfing when you want to think?”

“I fly somewhere and just walk around and find places to eat by myself,” he smiles. “Rich people things, I know,” he chuckles, “but eating alone helps me be in tune with myself, you know? Like, I don’t have to converse with anyone. If I do, it’s with a stranger who gives me something new to think about. But other than that, it’s just a foreign city and its food and me. That’s what I do to think.”

“Hmm, I like that,” you grin. “For some people, food is just sustenance. To some, it’s a form of love and service. And then there’s people like you, where food helps you discover yourself. It’s pretty amazing what food can mean to people.”

He drowns in your eyes and your smile and waits for a bit before he asks. “Is this what you do when you want to think?”

You nod.

“So what are you thinking about?”

You’re now both seated at a bench in a more elevated and secluded area. You can see the river against the buildings and the night sky, which is shining a little brighter than usual. You think it waited for you to be like this.

“Do you know much about astronomy?” You answer him with a question.

“Not really,” he responds, adjusting his position so he could see a bit more of the view. “Just the basics, you know, the ones we learn at school? I mean, the sky’s pretty, especially at night but it’s so permanent that I just don’t mind it much. I heard that the stars we see are dead, though. That one’s pretty mind-boggling.”

“Interesting,” you hum. “I think it’s that permanence that makes it intriguing to me because for all that it is and the fact that it’s always been there, the human mind just can’t seem to fully grasp it. Like the stars that we see - which aren’t actually dead because it takes about a billion years for them to die - are light years away. And we’re looking at what they were before.”

“Huh, I thought they were dead,” Jin frowns.

“It seems quite poetic and dramatic to believe that they’re all dead, isn’t it?” You chuckle. “But they’re very much alive, though they’ll still die. But the idea remains - they could be dead and people would still be looking at them when they were still alive, because it’s technically the past we’re looking at, like the star during its glory days.”

Is this what you think about every time you’re looking at the sky? He wonders.

“Hmm, isn’t that a nice thought though?” He says. “Something could be gone but we still get to see and appreciate the beauty of it as if it’s still alive.”

“You’re an optimist, Jin. And I like that about you,” you smile at him. “And while I do agree to an extent, I still think it’s more sad than anything. We get to see and appreciate it for what it was, thinking that it’s still how it is. And they may all still be alive but the generations after us who’ll see them will only get to see what’s left of the stars, and not the stars themselves. They’ll think that there’s something still there when there really isn’t anymore.”

The thought lingers in the air. It’s been floating in your mind for weeks, or maybe months and you just hadn’t realized it. There’s something hopeful about an entity that used to exist but now only does so in your mind or your memory - it was real at least, and that’s enough for anyone to appreciate its beauty.

But you can’t help but feel like the butt of life’s joke sometimes - that the beauty only exists in your mind when in reality, it’s long gone. You wonder if you’d just chosen to believe it still exists for your sake, or for the other person.

“You know what makes it all better?” Jin takes you away from your thoughts.

“What?”

“Accepting that fact, that what we’re seeing is how it was before but appreciating it either way. Then maybe finding something else that’s beautiful but closer. Like the moon. Sure, it doesn’t twinkle or shoot up or fall or whatever but just think - how many stars does it take to light up the sky? But all you need is one moon.”

A smile creeps up your face. How many years have you been loving the same man and hoping for him to come back for you? Those years have gone - maybe the love, too? You don’t want to think about it that way, though - and they’ll continue to shine brightly but all you’re remembering are what used to be. What - or who - is your moon now?

Beautiful but closer. Perhaps they’re much closer than you think.

“Hmm, didn’t know you’re a poet, Kim Seokjin,” you giggle.

“I’m not, actually. It’s just a thought that crossed my mind. I get why you like to come here and watch the sky to think. The vibe helps.”

He turns to you, your eyes still lost in the stars that are perhaps millions of years in existence and have millions more in them. You seem so far away, like there’s more you’re thinking about, like there’s more to say.

“Is this all you’re thinking about? Seeing the stars in their glory days?” He wonders.

“Joon called me the other night, after the wedding,” you say after a beat of silence.

I know, Jin thinks, but he lets you continue.

“He’s in Senegal right now, then he’ll go to Ghana in a few days, and then Uganda later in the month. He’ll be staying in Africa for a while to write about the contemporary art scene,” you share. “It’s an amazing opportunity and he’s so excited. And I’m really happy for him.”

“So that’s what the call was about? It was a pretty long one,” Jin says, cursing himself for sounding bitter, and he’s thankful that you don’t seem bothered.

“Mostly, yeah,” you smile, recalling how excited Namjoon sounded when he got the call from an art foundation about the opportunity. “The world is huge; he’ll never run out of things to do. And knowing he gets to do so many things he’s always wanted and explore what else is out there - it makes me really happy for him, like, I’m ecstatic. I just think, this is what it means to truly care for someone, it’s what it means to love.”

The lump in Jin’s throat gets bigger at the word, at the thought - of your love and care for someone who isn’t him, but he powers through, knowing you need a friend more than anything. Perhaps it’s why you asked him here in the first place.

“Where does that leave you, then?” He hates asking this, because he doesn’t want to seem like he’s forcing himself in your life that you’d imagined spending with someone else.

“Somewhere,” you chuckle. “Still in his life, that’s for sure. I always will be, he assured me that. That’s another thing he said during the call, that he regrets not being able to say more when we met up in France, that he wished he was able to spend the rest of the day with me. Missing me so much after reminded him that he’ll always want me to be part of his life; in what way, that’s something he didn’t clarify.”

“I’m sorry,” Jin mumbles. “I’m sure you were expecting more.”

“I’m not really sure. I guess I expected this again but I’m not as heartbroken as I thought I’d be,” you turn to him and take his hand, something you find yourself doing a lot, especially when you’re looking at the starry night sky. “Namjoon and I are up in the air. There are things we need to talk about when we’re together but I think we just missed each other too much in France that’s why we didn’t. But we agreed that if we see each other again, we will talk about it, about us, what we feel and what we’ll do - maybe close the book of our story that never really took off, or continue writing it, whether as friends or something more. I don’t know.”

“So, uh, you’ll see him again soon?”

“I will. I’ll have to.”

He squeezes your hand to let you know that whatever it is you decide to do, he’ll be there for you. And he means it wholeheartedly, regardless of what he’s feeling.

“I’m glad you’re feeling good enough to be out tonight. It was a miserable week for you, I could tell by the multiple text and voice messages I was getting everyday,” Jin chuckles.

“Yeah, well, there’s this man who’s babying me and wouldn’t let me work unless I was better,” you nudge his arm. “But in hindsight, I’m glad he did. I feel so much better. And uh, it’s nice to be with you tonight, Jin, finally eating normally again and being out here to watch the sky. You’re really the best husband any woman could ask for,” you laugh, the irony hitting you and him in different ways you’re both unaware of.

Jin is unable to sleep again that night. All he could think about was the faraway look in your eyes and if he didn’t sound too hopeful, he’d say there was sadness in there, too.

He doesn’t want to take advantage of whatever it is you’re going through but he also knew at that moment when you were talking about Namjoon, all Jin could think about was how he wanted that place in your life - the one you’ll care for, the one you’ll love.

The fact that he’s been nothing but worried all week, wanting nothing more than to have you be well so you could eat all the delicious dishes you’re used to and watch food shows until the late nights with him; the fact that every night he’d been wishing to lay next to you and hold you in his arms and hug and kiss the pain away, tell him enough about how he feels.

The next day, you say that your brother is home for a quick trip and you’ll be going home to your parents’ for the weekend, and Jin takes the opportunity to go out, too. He invites Yoongi and Taehyung to a resort outside of the city to play golf, and calling both men on a weekend like this isn’t something that normally happens.

“So, uh, what are we here for?” Taehyung asks. “I did some golfing in Argentina, you know? I’m pretty great at it already so get ready to lose.”

“Your brother’s not here to compete,” Yoongi says as Jin walks back to their seat. “He’s here because he’s finally got the stick out of his ass and decided to actually make a decision. Right, Jin?”

Jin has always appreciated that his secretary is perceptive; it’s always helped the older man make good decisions at work. But as a friend, sometimes he hates it. Yoongi has known all this time and has been saying the right things but Jin tends to be stubborn, especially when he knows this is all on him.

“Okay, I feel like I should know but maybe I don’t,” Taehyung arches a brow. “Does this maybe have something to do with a woman whom you’ve kept around for years just because it was easy and also another woman who came out of nowhere but is making you realize that love can sometimes be hard and that’s how you know?”

It’s an oversimplification of the situation, Jin thinks. He’d kept Seri around for many reasons. Sure, it was easy and convenient. He never had to make excuses for whatever he’s lacking because she knew his duties and responsibilities. Despite it being a secret, he didn’t have to put in that much effort, he didn’t have to put in that much thought, there weren’t any expectations. It was easy and convenient and it worked. He thought that’s all it was, that what he and Seri had was all it could be.

And then there’s you, the woman he’s married to who’s suddenly making him see all the possibilities of what love could be; you with your infectious smile and silly laughter and your passion for food and your job and how comfortable everything is when he’s with you. You’re what makes him better, happy, free.

“It is,” Jin sighs. He feels like he doesn’t have to say much - as his brother and closest companion, he feels like Taehyung and Yoongi just know. “I’m falling in love with my wife and I don’t know what to do.”

“You do,” Yoongi says. “It’s just hard and we get it. But you see what happens when it’s easy? You get blinded by it that you think it’s what you care about, that it’s what you want when it isn’t. You’ve known it for a while, Jin. It stopped being Seri for a long time, if it even was her. You know what to do; she deserves more than this.”

“She’s deserved more than you all this time, hyung,” Taehyung says.

“I know,” Jin replies. “I’ve been incredibly unfair to her.”

“Just be honest with her, hyung. I’m sure she’ll at least appreciate that.”

It’s almost poetic, the way the rain just pours when Jin enters the neighborhood. He used to come here a lot at random hours of the night - after a long day at work, after a particularly stressful meeting, after a business trip that barely gave him time to unwind. It’s 9PM, probably one of the earliest hours he’d ever come, that’s why when she opens the door, Seri’s wide eyes get even wider.

“Jin, I didn’t expect you,” she smiles, letting him in as the rain is getting even harsher.

“Yeah, I, uh… We need to talk… about us,” Jin manages to say. “I haven’t been fair to you, Seri. I’m so sorry, but we can’t do this anymore.”

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