#Sans always wanted a little brother so maybe that affected that decision slightly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stxrrywildflower · 4 years

Text

out of the old (2)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you think about leaving the bau while the team focuses on trying to get you back

warning - cursing, slight smut but not really

series masterlist

after your mom opened the door and you greeted her, you were pulled into a tight hug. your dad came down the stairs next, also hugging you.

your sister and brother-in-law and brother and sister-in-law were next. you had greeted all of them before speaking up.

“is everyone home?” you asked, shocked that your entire were all home.

“first week of surfing season sis, none of us wanted to miss it,” your brother spoke as he came up beside you, ruffling your hair. being the youngest, you were used to it.

at that moment, your sister noticed that you didn’t exactly look okay. plus the fact that with your job you didn’t get to visit much, it was suspicious that you showed up with no warning and a suitcase. “mom, dad, would you mind giving us a moment?” your sister asked. your parents moved into the kitchen to make a cup of tea while everyone else moved into the living room. you collapsed on your couch and tossed your badge onto the table. it had become uncomfortable in your pocket. you sat criss-crossed and looked around the room.

your brother and his wife took the loveseat while your sister sat next to you and your brother-in-law was on the floor. “so what’s going on?”

you took a deep breath. “do you remember the name erin strauss?” you first asked. after seeing nods from everyone in the room, you continued. “she has made work horrible. she told me in not good enough to be in the fbi. plus, after this last case, she said i would be suspended next time i made a mistake. i just kinda snapped and asked my boss for a resignation form. he convinced me to take a few days off before i made my decision. so i came out here,” you revealed.

the room was silent for a moment before your brother-in-law mumbled ‘that bitch!’ under his breath causing everyone to laugh. that made you smile and cheer up slightly. then your brother spoke up, “what about spencer?” you pressed your lips together at the mention of your boyfriend.

“i left him a note at my apartment. everyone is still at work so he hasn’t seen it yet,” you spoke as you looked at the time on your phone, mentally calculating the time difference.

you rubbed your head slightly, not really wanting to think about the situation anymore. your sister-in-law noticed this and stood up. “well it’s still pretty early in the day. why doesn’t everyone go get changed and we’ll head down to the beach,” she suggested.

everyone quickly agreed to that and rushed upstairs to the rooms they were staying in. you loved your childhood room. your parents had gone through and painted it grey as well as keeping the minimalist layout you always had. and then there was a view.

you were incredibly fortunate that your parents had steady jobs and been able to purchase a beachfront house. you and your siblings were practically raised on the beach. your room had overlooked the ocean. you spent a few moments looking out the window before going to get changed.

you changed into a swimsuit and grabbed an old backpack, filling it with necessary things for the beach. after that, you grabbed your wetsuit which was hanging on a hook. your brother reappeared a few moments later holding your surf board. you took that, met up with your siblings, and went walking to the beach.

____

on the other side of the country, the bau team had a tough time focusing on their work. as soon as the clock struck five, spencer was in the elevator and in his car, driving to your apartment.

once inside, he had a spare key, he noticed a note sitting on the table. spencer delicately opened it and read the message you wrote. he smiled at your words before pulling out his phone to text you.

y/n,

just saw your message. i love you so much sweetheart. take all the time you need.

with that, he took the note and left your apartment, driving to his own with the intent of getting ready to meet the team later. at 6:30 he left his apartment and began his drive to rossi’s.

after arriving at 7 on the dot, spencer noticed that almost everyone had already arrived. however, a car pulled in behind reid. out came derek and garcia who waved slightly at spencer. the three walked up to the front door of the large house. derek quickly knocked on the door and it opened a few moments later to reveal rossi who ushered the group in. after walking into the kitchen and receiving a drink, spencer sat down at the table with his team.

“first off, i need to stress that what we talk about doesn’t leave this room. it sounds extreme but it’s for the best,” hotch stated.

“as some of you know, strauss has been extremely out of line with y/n. after the last case, strauss told y/n that she does not deserve to be in the fbi and is not a good enough profiler to be on the team. next time she makes a mistake, no matter how big or small, she will be suspended. after telling me this earlier today, y/n requested a resignation form,” hotch revealed.

“so strauss is bullying y/n into quitting?” emily asked and scoffed when hotch nodded.

“i convinced her to take the rest of the week off and give me her final decision on monday. i haven’t heard anything from her and currently have no idea where she is.”

this time spencer spoke up, “i went to her apartment after work. she left me a note saying she’s okay and just needs some time to clear her head.”

hotch turned to garcia who had her laptop open. “can you track her cellphone?” garcia chuckled and made a remark before typing. after a few moments, she spun her computer around to reveal a map of california. there was a little red marker on the coast of san diego.

“that’s her parents house. i guess she went home. are there any security cameras? i know she said she was okay but i just want to see it in person,” spencer asked. this time it took garcia a minute but when the screen was shown again, it was of a security camera of the sidewalk and the houses on the street. it was taken a few hours ago but it was still better than nothing.

walking down the street was you along with four other people. you had your wetsuit unzipped and the top part was down around your waist, revealing your swimsuit top. your surfboard was tucked under your arm as you laughed at something one of the other people in your group said. the team noticed how happy and carefree you looked in the short time you had been away from work.

“who’s she with?” j.j. asked.

spencer leaned closer to the screen and narrowed his eyes. “that’s her sister, brother, sister-in-law, and then her brother-in-law,” he explained. the team nodded, happy with the results and garcia exited the screen.

“now that we know she’s safe, what are we going to do about strauss?” derek asked. hotch glanced at rossi. “there’s only one thing to do but it is going to take a lot of effort on our side and potentially affect the team,” rossi spoke.

“we would need to file a harassment charge against strauss which would then go to her higher ups at the fbi,” hotch explained. the team looked at each other. to go to strauss’s higher ups could be risky.

“before we do anything, i need to know if you are all in. i have faith that we could put a case together and get y/n back but it’s going to talk a lot of effort,” hotch added. just as the team was about to respond, everyone’s phones buzzed. surprisingly, it was a text from you.

i know you have garcia tracking me. i’ll call on friday at 9, your time

the team was satisfied with your text and set their phones down. for the next hour or so, the team went over different security footage garcia obtained from the bau building in an effort to put a good case together.

____

on friday at six, nine washington d.c. time, you logged onto your laptop. after clicking on dial for garcia’s computer, you sat back in your seat. a few moments went by before the teams faces appeared, all on the same screen.

from the other side, spencer took in your appearance. you already looked more tan, your hair was curly from the salt water and you looked a lot happier.

“hi guys,” you greeted softly. after seeing the teams smiles, emily spoke up, “y/n! how are you?” you thought about that for a moment before responding.

“i feel a lot better. i think being home and being in the sun without having to really worry about anything or anyone is doing me good,” you smiled. you then observed the team looking around at each other. “what’s going on? i already know you tracked me so you might as well tell me.”

hotch pressed his lips together. “we have enough evidence to file a harassment charge against strauss. that way, you can return and her position will most likely be altered.”

“you what?” you spoke, voice dangerously low.

“y/n we can get strauss out of the fbi for good,” morgan spoke up. you rubbed the bridge of your nose with your hand. “why would you do that. this is compromising all of your positions. at this point i really don’t even know if i want to return, and strauss isn’t the only reason,” you revealed.

“we want you back at the fbi. like i said, strauss can be removed from her position and you don’t have to deal with her anymore,” morgan responded. you pressed your lips together. “don’t,” was all you said. j.j. looked at her team before responding, “y/n we need you. we’re just trying to help.”

just as j.j. finished saying those words, you snapped. “maybe i don’t want your help, okay? i’m really happy with my family. i really don’t know if i want to return for multiple reasons. please, just leave me alone. i don’t want or need your help,” you pleaded before shutting your screen, thus ending the call.

you stood up and began to move out of your room, pushing past your various family members who were lingering in the hallway and in the other rooms in the house. once making it to the back door, you stepped out and began walking the twenty feet it took you to get to the beach.

once reaching the sand, you sat down, pulling your knees up to your chest. you looked out at the ocean, feeling a sense of calm from it. you couldn’t believe that your team wanted to put a case against strauss. it would put their positions in jeopardy and for what? you didn’t even know if you wanted to go back to d.c. plus you were sure strauss could manipulate the case somehow.

the more you thought about it, the more you realized how much you missed your family and your love for san diego. you were sure that if you requested a transfer to one of the offices on the west coast, closer to home, strauss would be happy to write you a reference letter. she would be overjoyed that her least favorite agent was finally gone.

constant thoughts and scenarios swirled in your head. you leaned back into the sand, now looking at the sky. the tears formed in your eyes and with the positon you were in, they began to leak out, going directly into the sand. you had no idea what to do.

the team was obviously a little shell shocked at your response. hotch and rossi looked at each other, unsure of what to do. garcia was close to tears. j.j., morgan, and emily noticed the youngest agent stand up, grab his bag, and put on his coat.

“where you going spencer?” emily asked.

“san diego,” was all spencer responded before he handed her his gun and moved out the door. once reaching his car, he pulled up an airlines website and booked the first flight to san diego, thankful that he had a go bag in his car.

you had stayed on the beach until close to 11 that night. you were lucky that you remembered to bring a sweatshirt which kept you warm as the temperatures dropped. being on the beach with no one to bother you really calmed you down and left you time to think.

after walking back up to your house, you noticed that your parents were already asleep in their rooms but your brother and sister were sitting at the tv. your brother-in-law and sister-in-law were most likely upstairs. they offered you smiles.

“hey baby sis, how are you feeling?” your brother asked.

“a lot better. still have no idea what i’m going to do with the news i received from my team earlier. it’s confidential before you ask. but i think being on the beach gave my time to think,” you explained. your siblings were content with that answer and went back to watching tv.

your brother had gone to his room around midnight and your sister about thirty minutes after that. you kept the tv on, watching a random documentary that mad managed to capiture your mind for a few hours. when you looked at the clock, it read 2:07. you stood up with the intent to go to bed but a knock on the door stopped you.

‘who the hell is knocking on our door at two in the morning?’ you thought to yourself, mentally cursing yourself for not having your gun on you.

you grabbed the next best thing which happened to be an empty beer bottle your brother had drank. you opened the door slowly, keeping the bottle at your side. however, at the other side of the door was who you’d least expect.

“spencer?” you asked, rubbing your eyes to make sure your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you.

“hey,” he breathed out. you opened the door more, allowing for him to come in. you noticed he was in the clothes he had worn when you were on a call with the team and had a go bag in hand. “how are you?” was all he asked.

you rolled your eyes before you moved past him to throw out the bottle and point to the stairs. “we can talk about this in the morning. you know where my room is. i’ll be up in a second,” you spoke, rubbing at your temple.

after refilling your resuable water bottle, you too made your way up the stairs. the door to the bathroom was shut, you assumed spencer was inside because no one was in your room. you quickly got changed into shorts and a t-shirt before making your way back towards the bathroom.

the door opened after you knocked quietly. inside was spencer, true to your suspicion. he had on shorts and a simple plain grey v-neck. you would be lying if you said he didn’t look good. he had his glasses on and was in the middle of brushing your teeth. he shot you a small smile before you grabbed your own toothbrush.

close to ten minutes later, you were both done. spencer grabbed his clothes and toiletry bag before following you back to your room. he tossed his clothes in the hamper after you motioned for him to do so. you shut off the major light in your room, leaving a night light on in the corner, knowing spencer’s discomfort with the dark.

as you crawled into bed, you turned away from him, keeping your focus on the wall. you knew spencer was laying beside you, staring at the back of your head and waiting for you to turn over but you didn’t just yet.

“i’m really mad at you, you know,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

“i know, i’m sorry,” spencer spoke. the sadness in his voice almost made you cry. “technically i have today and tomorrow to still make me decision,” you informed him.

“what happened to talking about it in the morning?” he teased. with that, you turned over so the two of you were now facing each other. neither made a move towards the other but just looked on. once making eye contact, you noticed his puples dialate. spencer could barely make out your features in the low light but he knew you were trying to hide a smile. he thought you looked gorgeous.

much to his surprise, you moved forward and pressed your lips to his as your hand made your way to his cheek. spencer pulled you closer, arms wrapping around your back as the moment went on. the mint flavor of your toothpaste was still very much there.

you pulled away after needing air but you both didn’t move. you pressed your head deep into spencer’s chest as he adjusted to get more comfortable. “i’m sorry for leaving you,” you mumbled tiredly. spencer placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“try and get some sleep,” was all he responded. you shut you eyes, very content laying with your boyfriend. both of you fell asleep quickly and neither wanted to admit that it was the best sleep you had in awhile.

you woke up the next morning to two things. the sunlight that streamed through your blinds as well as the smell of pancakes from downstairs. you removed yourself from spencer’s grip and sat up as the events of the early morning came back to you. you smiled slightly when you thought about the slight make out session the two of you had. as you looked at the clock on your desk, 9:00 blinked back at you.

then, you turned to spencer who was still very much asleep, curled up in the position the two of you had slept in before you sat up. you moved your hand to brush some of his short hair that had fallen into his face.

“morning,” he mumbled, morning voice shining through. you leaned down close to his lips as his eyes slowly opened. “your morning voice is hot,” you complimented. spencer grinned slightly, slowly sitting up. you got out of bed and stretched, smiling at the sound of your joints cracking.

“i’m going to go brush my teeth and then head downstairs. don’t bother getting changed yet because we’re going to the beach but i’ll see you down in a bit?” you asked your still sleepy boyfriend. he nodded before collapsing back down on the pillow.

after brushing your teeth, you practically bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. “someone’s happy,” your brother-in-law noted. you simply smiled and shrugged.

“mom and dad at work?” you asked as you sat down at the bar seats and were then met with four nods.

just after you had stood up again, about to ask if you could help your brother cook, the sounds of someone coming downstairs stopped you. before you could turn, spencer had wrapped his arms around your waist and placed a delicate kiss to your cheek.

“spencer? when did you get here?” your sister asked confused. none the less, she moved over to hug your boyfriend hello, as did everyone else in the room.

“around two this morning,” he chucked, accepting a plate of pancakes. your sister smiled at that, mumbling something about no wonder you were in such a peppy mood. after eating and cleaning up, the two of you made your way back upstairs. you made sure to tell everyone that you would be at the beach in an hour or so.

spencer took a seat at your desk chair while you sat on the newly made bed. “y/n,” he started but you stopped him. “can i just say something first, please?” you asked. after he nodded you continued, “i really don’t like that you and the team are risking your jobs for me. i know all of you would be willing to do it but it just doesn’t sit right with me. being out here has also made me realize how much i miss home. i hate to say it but i wish we got my cases out here. just being around my family in the beach brings back feelings i just don’t get in virginia. i don’t know, it sounds stupid.” once finishing your rant, you stood up and looked out the window.

spencer sighed. “i understand love. but this team is a family and we would all do the same if it was for anyone else, you know that. and with the family thing, i’m sure hotch would be open to give you more vacation time,” he suggested. you thought about that for a moment and you turned back to him.

“force me to make a decision tonight or else i’m just going to keep pushing it off. this way i’ll know what i’m going to do and be able to have fun for my last day,” you told him. spencer smirked slightly and stood up, “i have all the power over you? i like that.”

you turned to him, eyes flicking down to his mouth. you felt his lips brush up against yours but just before he could fully kiss you, you whispered, “you wish,” before grabbing your bathing suit and moving towards the bathroom. spencer groaned at your antics before grabbing his own swimsuit and getting changed for the beach.

spencer had sent a quick text in the teams groupchat, without you in it, confirming that you were okay. ‘just woke up. she’s making her decision tonight. going to the beach but i’ll keep you updated,’ he had sent before grabbing his bag and meeting up with you in the hallway.

after a long day at the beach. you and spencer offered to take the outdoor shower and leave the indoor ones open for the others. thankfully, your family had invested in nicer outdoor showers that had actual stalls.

you would never admit to anyone that you and spencer had a pretty intense make out session in the outdoor shower.

spencer finished washing the conditioner out of his hair as you were stripping of your swimsuit and wrapping a towel around you. you hung your bathing suit up on the hook to dry before sending a wink to your boyfriend and heading inside.

you got changed into lounge clothes and laid in bed, spencer followed soon after, a towel around his waist. you tried not to make it obvious that you were staring but spencer had obviously noticed as he was walking out of the room and into the bathroom.

you moved to sit at your desk, opening your laptop to your email to see if you had anything from work. “still checking your work email?” spencer whispered in your ear causing you to jump. you slapped his shoulder playfully before you scooted forward allowing for him to sit behind you. he rested his head on your shoulder as his arms were around your waist.

“i think i want to go back to d.c. but only if strauss does get her position switched or fired. if not, i’m staying here,” you concluded after a few moments of silence. you stood up and paced your room.

“i joined the fbi in the first place because i wanted to help people. with the bau, we help so many people across the country. if i stay here, i’m confined to one city. if hotch thinks he has enough evidence to prosecute strauss, i’m in,” you added. spencer pulled you into a tight hug. “plus a really don’t think i could leave the person who jumped on a plane just to make sure i’m okay.”

spencer smiled at your words and kissed you on the cheek

“i’ll call him now,” he whispered into your ear. you exited the room once again to give him some privacy. you really hoped you were making the right decision with this. during the time spencer had called hotch, you went downstairs and got something to eat. after that, you figured that enough time had passed so you went back to your room. however, the door was still shut but you could hear the endings of the conversation on spencer’s end.

“i know hotch - yeah she was happy to see me - alright i’ll let her know” was all you could hear before the door opened again. thankfully, you made it look like you weren’t listening in. “conversation go well?” you asked as you went to sit on your bed. “yeah, hotch is filing the case tomorrow,” spencer informed you. those words made you rather emotional. spencer noticed as your eyes welled with tears and you bit your lip. “but in better news, hotch said we can leave here early monday morning and go to work in the afternoon.”

spencer noticed your lip quiver as you looked over at him.

“what’s going through your mind sweetheart?” he asked, moving you so that you were practically sitting in his lap with your legs around his waist. “if this works, the woman who has had it out for me ever since i got to d.c. will finally be gone. i don’t have to worry about making small mistakes and being called into her office over noting. it’s just really crazy to think about. it’s almost like it’s all i know,” you replied, placing your head on spencer’s shoulder.

he rubbed circles in your back as the two of you layed there. “we’re going to get her, i’m sure of it.”

_____

the following morning, hotch, as well as the rest of the team who were still in the city, arrived to rossi’s. they would be going over evidence one more time before filing the charge to strauss‘s superiors.

“how’s y/n?” emily asked when hotch walked in, knowing her boss had talked to spencer.

“reid said she’s doing really good. she was happy to see him and from what he told me, she just kinda blurted it out that she wanted to return to the bau”, hotch informed. the team was overjoyed that you had agreed to come back.

“i still think it’s crazy that he dropped everything to go see her,” derek spoke up. j.j. turned to him, “they love each other, you do crazy things like that when you feel that way,” she replied. derek smirked and shook his head.

garcia pulled out her computer, typed for a minute before showing the team. they had multiple security clips of strauss and her behavior towards you as well as complaints from other employees. they seemed to lessen when you had joined the bau which fuelled the fire that you were her verbal punching bag. “i also came in contact with her superior, they said to send the file over as soon as possible and they would look into it,” hotch informed his team.

garcia compiled the footage and was ready to hit the send button. she looked around at the team who sported nervous but also confident expressions. “ready?” garcia asked timidly. “do it,” emily confirmed. she hit the send button and the team exhaled. now all they could do was wait.

........

tags

@winterscaptain @thicclasanga @reidswords @5sosxplr @nanocoool @nerdgirljen @baby-iyania @baby-i-am-fireproof @yourssincerelyj @benji-booxx @eternaleviee

#criminal #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #david rossi

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satorisa · 3 years

Text

Falling: Chapter 2 - In which Satoshi Actually Gets to School on Time

Rating: T

Summary: "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."

Alternate Reading: AO3

This is so dialogue heavy it’s kind of ridiculous, but sometimes all you gotta do is talk your feelings out.

“—tosh—”

“Sa—shi!”

“Satoshi!”

He opened his eyes. Takeshi loomed over him, hair disheveled and eyes wide with concern. Satoshi felt warm until a chill cut through his bones; he was drenched in sweat.

“Bro, you alright?”

“…does it look like I’m alright?” Satoshi croaked. His chapped lips and parched throat made it difficult for him to speak.

“Aight. If you’re giving me attitude, you’re gonna be fine.”

Takeshi’s bedhead disappeared. Satoshi expected his roommate to leave him alone and float back to dreamland, but the door creaked open as Takeshi stomped out. His footsteps crescendoed as he returned, and his gravity-defying hair that rivaled Daisuke’s at the moment popped up by Satoshi’s bedside.

He propped Satoshi up, fluffing his pillow before handing him a bottled water. Takeshi placed a cold compress on Satoshi’s forehead and watched, eyes surprisingly sharp, Satoshi take a sip.

“Bad nightmare?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do ya remember what it was about?”

“No.”

“Wanna go for a walk?”

“Isn’t it too late for one?”

“So? Do ya wanna go on one or not?”

Satoshi checked his phone. The lock screen read 2:07 AM.

“…yeah. Let’s go for a walk.”

Takeshi helped Satoshi down from the top bunk. They both put on a light jacket before heading downstairs, slipping on their shoes before walking onto the empty streets of Azumano. Satoshi looked at the darkened windows of the houses lining the road before glancing up at the night sky. His eyes then lingered on the street lamps above them before they flitted over at Takeshi.

He had his hands in his pockets. Their eyes met.

Takeshi said nothing.

The muscles in Satoshi’s body relaxed and he focused on the rhythmic count of his footsteps. He noted that Takeshi’s were slightly off from his.

“How long has it been since my last nightmare?” Satoshi asked.

“Truthfully? Last night,” Takeshi answered with nonchalance. “But most nights, you don’t keep me up with all your, um, noise.”

Satoshi didn’t like the hesitation he heard in Takeshi’s response. He bit his lip. “…sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize, bro. Better out than in, I always say.”

They made it to one of the busier streets. A lone sedan passed by as they stood at the intersection, unmoving despite the lack of traffic and the green light for pedestrians.

“You know, I never expected you to be this…”

Takeshi raised his eyebrow.

“Accommodating? Responsible? Understanding?” Satoshi paused, irritated he couldn’t find the right word to express himself. “You never seemed the type.”

Takeshi frowned. “I know I come off a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I’m a douchebag.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”

“There ya go apologizing again!” Takeshi sighed. “Do we have to make one of those jars where ya have to toss in one hundred yen every time ya apologize?”

“Absolutely not,” Satoshi barked.

Takeshi’s laugh echoed before it petered off. His eyes were focused on the sidewalk at the other side of the intersection. Satoshi followed Takeshi’s gaze; there was nothing there. Takeshi sighed next to him.

“Yanno, I had the wrong idea about you for the longest time, too. I thought you had your whole life in order. That you were some stoic hotshot the world couldn’t touch.

“Then I lived with you and, I dunno, bro, I can’t imagine going through the half the shit you went through and are still going through. And I’m not sayin’ that ‘cause I pity you, nothin’ like that, but only now do I see how much you’ve been hiding and struggling with.”

“It’s a little pathetic, isn’t it?”

“Nah. What you’re goin’ through ain’t pathetic. Not at all.”

Another lone sedan passed by.

“Are you just being nice to me because you’re my ‘brother?’”

Takeshi glared at Satoshi. “Bro, do ya really think I’m doin’ this because I’m obligated to?”

“Sometimes, yeah.”

Satoshi felt so small under Takeshi’s scowl. He braced himself for Takeshi to scream at him. After all, those weren’t words you just admit to people.

But Takeshi just wrapped his arm around Satoshi’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“Goddammit, Satoshi, how many times do we have to hammer this shit into your head? Me, Daisuke an’ my parents aren’t doin’ this because we’re obligated to. We’re doin’ this because we care, you dumbass.”

The warmth and physical affection felt so awkward, but Satoshi didn’t hate it. He leaned his head against Takeshi’s, trying to hold back the tears stinging his eyes.

“…because all of you love me?”

Takeshi pulled away, resting his hands on Satoshi’s shoulders and staring at him straight in the eye. He had the biggest grin on his face.

“Damn, straight, Satoshi! It’s because we love you!” Takeshi scooped Satoshi into a hug, skewing Satoshi’s glasses from the sudden ruckus and scaring the sentimentality from the situation. “I love you, you stubborn son of a bitch!”

“Okay! Okay! Let go of me!”

“No!”

Satoshi attempted to fix his glasses while in Takeshi’s vice grip, but he couldn’t and decided to weakly return Takeshi’s hug. Only then did Takeshi let go.

“Wanna grab some ice cream before we head back?” Takeshi asked.

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

They ducked into a nearby convenience store and, after an awkward exchange with the cashier, they walked out with their goods: Takeshi had a popsicle, and Satoshi had an ice cream bar. (And they also had a bag of assorted frozen treats to bring home.)

“Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way,” Takeshi began, nibbling on his popsicle as they headed home,” level with me, bro.”

“Yeah?”

“What might’ve caused your terrible nightmare?”

“Why are you asking me that question?”

“Your nightmares were terrifying when you first moved in, but they’re pretty tame now, so I was wonderin’ if somethin’ might’ve triggered it.” Takeshi paused. “Don’t tell me it’s the Dark Mousy portrait!”

Satoshi shrugged. “Maybe? I’ve been working on it for a while though, so I don’t think that’s it.”

“Fair. Then, what—”

“Harada asked me to tell her about Dark.”

Takeshi smacked Satoshi’s arm.

“Hey! What was—”

“Bro, in what world do you think you’re in any position to be doing that right now?”

“She was adamant!”

“Then you should’ve been more adamant!” Takeshi sighed. “Satoshi, I know that it’s something you’re working on, but you really should care more about yourself. Please.”

…

Takeshi and Satoshi never made it to school on time.

They would always get there right when the gates would close and the teachers on tardy duty would scold Takeshi for keeping Satoshi from punctuality before letting the boys in without any consequences. And, when they would arrive in the classroom, their homeroom teacher would target Takeshi for his rampant tardiness while Satoshi quietly slipped into his seat without much of a fuss.

(In reality, it was actually Satoshi keeping them from getting to school before the first bell. Takeshi learned that Satoshi was a pain in the ass to wake up, so he usually spent his morning at his desk. Whenever Satoshi would meet his eyes while rushing to get ready, he always saw a judgmental smirk on Takeshi’s face.)

But Satoshi, for once, actually got up while Takeshi was getting ready. The two left for school at a reasonable time that morning and bumped into Daisuke and Risa at the school gates.

“Congrats on waking up early!” Daisuke greeted.

Risa giggled next to him.

Satoshi rolled his eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Takeshi patted his back. “Bro, this is monumental for you.”

“Shut it.”

Risa and Takeshi began talking about some K-pop song that just dropped. And Daisuke began talking to Satoshi about his plans for the art club.

Satoshi appreciated this distance from Risa. As long as Takeshi and Daisuke were there, he had a safe buffer.

Thank god he wasn’t in the same class as her.

…

Inspector Saehara locked the door behind them. The sun had set a while back, so he and Satoshi stepped onto the evening streets of Azumano. They were on their way to grab fried chicken for dinner before heading home.

Office workers were only just clocking out, so the two passed by commuters in business casual. Passersby were either alone, rushing off someplace, or leisurely strolling about, socializing in groups. Inspector Saehara and Satoshi also passed by students either on their way to cram school or back home.

In the middle of a conversation about stocks, a young woman wearing Azumano High’s uniform bumped into Inspector Saehara. She furiously apologized before rushing off as her pigtails bounced behind her, muttering something under her breath about being late to cram school again.

“Do you wanna go to cram school?” Inspector Saehara asked. “I know your grades are good, but it wouldn’t hurt if you’re aiming for a prestigious high school.”

“I have a Bachelor’s degree, remember?”

“I know,” Inspector Saehara huffed. “It was just a suggestion.”

“Then suggest it to Takeshi. He needs it more than I do.”

“Nah. He’s already decided on going to Azumano High.”

“Why? He’s got the potential to aim for a better school.”

“He wants to stay close to home.”

“That’s a waste.”

“Yanno, there’s more to life than success,” Inspector Saehara said. “I may not show it, but I do miss Ma terribly when she’s overseas, so I appreciate having Takeshi around.”

“And he made that decision because of you?”

“Yeah. He knows he might be at a little disadvantage when applying to universities, but he’s got plans to make up for it.”

“Then why are you and Saehara-san forcing me to stay in school for at least one more year when you’re not pushing Takeshi to try harder?”

Inspector Saehara let out a guffaw at this. His reaction only confused Satoshi more.

“I dunno about you, but it seems a little unfair for me to let a fifteen year old go straight into the workforce, college degree or not.”

“I don’t know about you, but it seems a little unfair to me that you’re forcing me to ‘relearn’ things I already know in the hope that I may want to waste away another three years of my life in high school.”

Inspector Saehara just laughed at Satoshi’s snarky comment.

Satoshi didn’t see his reply as a joke. The Saeharas laughed at the strangest of things and made a big deal over the littlest of things. Even after living with them for a while, their theatrics were still foreign to him.

“I suppose, but Ma and I don’t want you to shoehorn yourself into that path. And who knows? You may change your mind between now and December!”

“I highly doubt it.”

Inspector Saehara laughed again.

Besides, even if Satoshi, for whatever reason, decided he wanted to waste another three years in high school, he had already gone through the college experience once. After high school, he only had two options available to him: work or attend graduate school. He certainly didn’t want to toil through studying again, so the latter option was off the table.

Honestly, Satoshi didn’t understand Inspector Saehara and Mama Saehara’s insistence on him “living his youth.” Were they nostalgic of their own youth? Trying to live vicariously through him? Or was there something here that Satoshi wasn’t understanding but that they, two bona fide adults, did?

Which only then begged the question…

“Why did you and Saehara-san decide to take me in?” Satoshi asked.

They stopped at a crosswalk. Satoshi glanced over at Inspector Saehara, but the older man’s expression showed nothing. It was his usual gruff face, disinterested with the bustle surrounding them.

“I was wonderin’ when you were gonna ask that question,” Inspector Saehara admitted.

“I didn’t think I could. It seemed a little rude to ask after all your hospitality.”

“It ain’t rude. You’re curious, and you have the right to know,” Inspector Saehara said. “I want you to feel comfortable asking us for stuff, yanno. I don’t want you feelin’ like you can’t or shouldn’t.”

“But— ”

“You shouldn’t have to feel responsible for my, or anyone’s, feelings. How I feel is on me. And if somethin’ you ask makes me uncomfortable, I’ll let you know.”

Inspector Saehara ruffled Satoshi’s hair. He looked over at the older man who had the biggest grin on his face. Reassured, Satoshi allowed a small smile to slip.

“As long as you keep your word on that, I’ll try to get more comfortable about asking for stuff.”

“Atta boy.”

The light turned green, and they crossed the street.

“Anyways, uh, Ma and I were already planning on taking you in,” Inspector Saehara answered. “We waited to see if the Niwas wanted to adopt you, since Daisuke’s your friend an’ all, but he said it’d probably be better for you if we took you in.”

“Did he say why?”

“Nope. Figured your close friend would be excited to live with you so, if he had something against it, then he prolly had a reason why.”

“Did you know about it before taking me in?” Satoshi asked.

“About your issues an’ stuff? I had an inkling that something was up, but I only really knew when ya told us about it.”

“…how did you and Saehara-san take it so well?”

Inspector Saehara just smiled. “Honestly, Satoshi, this ain’t Ma’s and my first go around with somethin’ like this.”

The words danced on Satoshi’s tongue. They screamed in his head. He wanted to know what Inspector Saehara meant, to learn about another situation similar to his. Inspector Saehara noticed Satoshi’s face, scrunched in thought, and let out a hearty laugh.

“One day, Ma will tell you about it, alright? It ain’t really my place to share it.”

“…fine.”

“Now then, where should we grab chicken from today?”

…

Yet another art meeting ended. The fangirls that initially joined had long left. In their stead were passionate first-years, crazy about art and simultaneously enamored with Satoshi’s handsome visage and artistic prowess.

The second and third years contended that Satoshi had the personality of a wet block of tofu. They all bickered for a while for a while until Daisuke broke it up.

Satoshi laughed at this. Everyone gasped.

“I think I might need to ban you from smiling for the safety of my club,” Daisuke joked, handing Satoshi a warm black coffee from the vending machine.

Satoshi nestled the drink in his hand, nursing it like a baby chick before looking out the window. He spotted the art club members in a group, arguing about something until they noticed Satoshi looking at them. They waved enthusiastically, and he returned their gesture, albeit calmer, with a small smile, and the group returned to their conversation absolutely giddy.

“Maybe you should,” Satoshi quipped.

Daisuke laughed before pulling off the tarp covering Dark’s portrait. It looked complete to the untrained eye, but Daisuke knew there was still work to be done.

“You’ve made really go progress on this,” Daisuke said. “Are you planning on doing something with it?”

Satoshi shrugged, examining the painting while sipping on his drink. He noted spots he wanted to work on while Daisuke continued to study it.

“Why don’t you give it to me?” Daisuke suggested. “I think my mom might appreciate it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What else would you do with it?”

“Give it to Harada.”

Daisuke made a face, trying to hold back from saying what was on his mind. He had a way of wording his thoughts as gently as possible, but the facial journey to his decision said everything.

“Whatever you want to say, Takeshi’s already said it but worse,” Satoshi said as he got ready to work, squeezing some paint onto his pallet. “Don’t feel like you need to sugar-coat it for me.”

Daisuke sighed. “I think this is a terrible idea.”

“Thanks,” Satoshi drawled. “I’m aware.”

He glanced over at Daisuke again to see if he could gather anything from his friend’s expression. Illuminated by the setting sun, he witnessed yet another facial journey: introspective instead of judgmental.

Perhaps Daisuke had something to say about Risa, especially since he was the closest to her out of the trio of boys. Maybe there was something hidden behind her loud screeches whenever Takeshi would hound her about something or the silent, composed smile she had whenever Satoshi found himself alone with her.

But Daisuke just kept it to himself, giving Satoshi a reassuring pat on his back before working on his own painting.

Satoshi knew that telling Risa about Dark was threatening the distance between them. He preferred those smiles compared to her screaming into his ear. As long as Risa behaved herself around him, he knew that she wasn’t comfortable in his presence.

For his sake, he wanted it to stay that way.

…

Satoshi woke up at a reasonable time yet again. To celebrate his achievement, Inspector Saehara gave them some money to buy some nikuman.

And so, they stood in front of the convenience store by the school, watching students pass by while they nibbled on their steamed buns and sipped on their milk.

Takeshi looked down at his phone for a bit, and Satoshi spotted Daisuke and Risa walk by. He nearly called them over when he noticed the exuberance in Risa’s expression: shining, just like how she looked like when she was around Dark.

“…shit.”

…

Satoshi woke up that morning to an empty room. Takeshi planned a team-building event for the newspaper club that day, so he said he would be out for a while.

After stretching, Satoshi headed downstairs. Inspector Saehara stood in front of the stove, focused on the pan of scrambled eggs.

“Good morning, Saehara-san.”

“G’morning, Satoshi,” he greeted. “Yanno, you can call me ‘Pa.’”

“Absolutely not.”

He sighed before turning off the stove, setting the pan of eggs to the side to cool. The rice cooker sang, signaling that the rice had finished cooking, so Satoshi helped Inspector Saehara set the table.

“Saehara-san, do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?” Satoshi asked once they both sat down to eat.

“I appreciate you asking me questions an’ all, but do ya have to ask me now?”

“I wanted to ask you when Takeshi wasn’t around.”

“Can we eat first though?”

After saying their thanks, Satoshi gulped his food down. Inspector Saehara watched in awe before shaking his head and digging in. Once he finished, Satoshi had already cleaned up his spot at the table and washed most of the dishes.

“So?” Satoshi started as he finished cleaning up the table.

Inspector Saehara sighed. “Do you think it’s a mistake?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi—”

“I ain’t askin’ about what they think. I’m askin’ about what you think.”

Satoshi didn’t answer. He focused on washing the dishes, feeling the warm water running over his hands, the soap clinging to his skin. The sound of the faucet said everything.

“Satoshi, what do you think?” Inspector Saehara asked again.

He finished rinsing the last dish. Satoshi placed it on the drying rack before turning off the water and facing Inspector Saehara.

“…I don’t know.”

Inspector Saehara got up from the table. “Alright. Let’s go call Ma.”

“No, don’t do that!” Satoshi protested. “It’s late over there and I don’t want to bother her.”

“Yer not botherin’ her.”

“Yes, I am! This whole thing is ridiculous—”

“This ain’t ridiculous.” The stern tone in Inspector Saehara’s voice startled Satoshi. “Whatever problem yer havin’ is a problem so stop trying to minimalize it. ‘sides, Ma’s better at figurin’ out emotions than me.”

Satoshi held back from protesting and silently followed Inspector Saehara to the master bedroom. The older man grabbed his phone and dialed Mama Saehara before lying down on his bed. Satoshi sat next to him, uncomfortable about calling Mama Saehara, when she picked up. Her face appeared on the tiny screen, and she looked drowsy.

“What do you want, Pa?” she asked.

Inspector Saehara handed the phone to Satoshi. Mama Saehara perked up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Satoshi’s breath hitched. “I’m sorry to disturb you, Saehara-san, but—”

“Honey, no, please don’t apologize. It’s alright.” He heard something move on her end. “What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath. “Do you think me telling Harada-imouto about Dark is a mistake?”

“Do you think it’s a mistake?” she calmly echoed.

“Daisuke and Takeshi think it is, but I genuinely don’t know. It feels like it is, though.”

“Why do Daisuke and Takeshi think it is? And why do you think it is?”

Her soft tone asked questions Satoshi had difficulty answering. He preferred hearing someone speaking to him, interrupting him, calling him out, explaining things to him, than hear his timid voice struggling to respond to something so simple.

“Daisuke and Satoshi said that I should take care of myself first. And, for me honestly, it scares me.”

Mama Saehara was silent. She pondered for a bit before nodding and responded. “I do have to agree with Daisuke and Takeshi about taking care of yourself but, funnily enough, sometimes facing things that scare you is actually taking care of yourself.”

Satoshi blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Daisuke and Takeshi mean well. They want to protect you from getting hurt, so they’re telling you not to do it. And, if you’re not ready for it, Pa and I would stop you from doing it , too.”

“But I don’t feel ready for it at all!”

The decision felt like taking a step into the woods without a flashlight. Whenever Risa approached him, he felt like he was drowning, terrified that she would ask about Dark. Why did he have to face something he had no strength to acknowledge just because one stubborn, teenage girl wanted to now about her forgotten lover?

“Sometimes, you won’t feel like you’re ready, and that’s okay,” Mama Saehara answered. “But you don’t have to go through this alone anymore. We’re all with you now.”

“At the end of the day, what you do is your decision,” Inspector Saehara said. “If you don’t want to help Harada-imouto, then tell her you can’t help her anymore. And if you want to, like Ma said, we’re with you every step of the way.”

“What type of answer is that?” Satoshi asked. “You two are the adults here. Don’t you have something clearer than that?”

“Sorry, Satoshi, but this isn’t a decision we can make for you,” Mama Saehara answered.

Satoshi wanted to scream. Why did this situation have to be so difficult to deal with? Calculus was no problem; he could derive and integrate equations all day, but this? This whole damn thing made him so uncomfortable, and he hated it.

Daisuke and Takeshi told him this wasn’t a good idea. Inspector and Mama Saehara told him otherwise. How the hell could he make a decision when he didn’t have a unanimous answer?

“You know, Satoshi,” Inspector Saehara began, shaking Satoshi out of his thoughts, “I was in that situation, too. Everyone around me thought that I was making a terrible mistake to the point that I began to second guess my decision.”

“And?”

His expression softened. “I ain’t gonna lie, the whole thing was hell, but it worked out alright in the end.”

“That’s a terrible answer,” Satoshi grumbled.

Inspector Saehara laughed. “I suppose it is.”

Satoshi glanced down at Mama Saehara. She looked lost in a happy thought.

“Saehara-san,” he called, catching Mama Saehara’s attention,” what do you think?”

“I don’t have a personal anecdote like Pa, but I think you should go for it. If you’re able to think about something like that, then you should give it a shot. And, speaking from personal experiences, you’re a lot stronger than you think you are. If the whole thing gets difficult, you can always take a break before jumping back into it.”

Satoshi mulled over her words while looking at Mama Saehara. She was wide awake, comfortably sitting up in the bed by the lamplight. Was that what it looked like to be an adult? Able to take on other’s burdens while giving advice, looking like they’ve been unaffected by the toils of life?

“Thank you, Saehara-san. And sorry again for calling you this late.”

“You’re very welcome, Satoshi. And please don’t apologize. I’m glad you called me for this. She yawned. “Unfortunately, I have a packed schedule waiting for me, so I must now depart. Au revoir, my loves.”

She hung up. Satoshi handed the phone back to Inspector Saehara.

“We’ll be proud of you no matter what decision you make.”

“…why?”

“Because you finally asked for help. Thanks for letting us know.”

Satoshi never understood why the Saeharas celebrated such small things like that. Sometimes, he felt like they treated him like a kid, but the pure elation on their faces whenever he accomplished something said otherwise.

These menial things meant a lot to them, and he couldn’t take that away. Not when their idiosyncrasies began to grow on him, too.

“Let’s go out for some coffee,” Inspector Saehara sad. “You look like you need that pick-me-up.”

“Is that fair to Takeshi?”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

…

Takeshi happened to spot them through the window on the way back home from his outing. Risa was with him, and she casually followed Takeshi in while he sauntered over to where Inspector Saehara and Satoshi sat. Satoshi watched, amused, as Takeshi scolded his father for leaving him out of “bonding time with Satoshi.”

Eventually, they settled down before directing their attention towards Risa, begging her to join the Saehara family for an afternoon snack. When she relented, Takeshi and her fell in line to order.

Inspector was busy enjoying the brownie he bought with his coffee. Satoshi was about to return to people-watching when he noticed Takeshi’s familiar expression while joking about something with Risa: radiant with just a touch of gentleness.

…oh.

…

Daisuke and the rest of the club had long left. Satoshi, content with the work he had just finished, began cleaning up. He draped a tarp over his canvas and gathered up the brushes, dumping them into his water cup. Palette in hand, he picked up the cup and was about to leave the room—

Risa opened the door, bathed in the blue glow of the evening.

“Oh!”

Satoshi blinked at her startled reaction. “Hello, Harada. Takeshi keep you long again?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. Ritsuko just finished something up for the robotics club, so I kept her company.”

“Isn’t she the club president?”

“Yup.” Risa laughed. “I don’t get how she gets that stuff and likes it, but it sure is interesting when you see the final results.” She noticed what Satoshi was holding and stepped out of the way. “Whoops. Sorry about that!”

“No issue, Harada. Did you need something, though?” he asked.

He made his way to the bathroom and Risa followed. “I just figured we could walk home together if you were still here.”

Satoshi raised his eyebrow. “What about Fukuda?”

“She has cram school today, so she rushed out.”

“She’s been busy?”

“Yup. It’s been hard to see her lately.”

They got to the bathroom. Satoshi stepped in and after he finished cleaning everything, he came out to see Risa sipping on a strawberry milk. She handed him a can of black coffee that he accepted, and they headed back to the art room.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re trying to bribe me right now.”

“Maybe.”

He glanced over at her, and she giggled. Satoshi became painfully aware of what this meant to the two of them, and Risa felt so far away from him in that instant. He had to quell the desire to crush the can in his hand.

“Why haven’t you asked about him sooner?” Satoshi asked.

“Mm, I don’t know. I felt like I needed to brace myself for it. And that you needed to prepare yourself for it, too.”

“Was that a hunch of yours?”

“Yup. You’re not very easy to read, Hiwatari-kun.”

They reached the classroom. He let Risa go in before he followed. Satoshi tidied up while Risa busied herself with her phone.

How sharp was Risa’s intuition? Even Daisuke and Takeshi had difficulty seeing past his unexpressive face. Yet, without much effort, Risa could see past everything.

Terrifying.

When Satoshi finished putting away all the art supplies, he looked at Risa. She laughed at something on her phone and, when she noticed Satoshi looking at her, she put her phone away and smiled.

“Ready to head out and talk about my special someone?” she asked with that lilting tone.

“No.”

“Then is there something on my face?”

“No.”

Her amusement gave way to confusion. “Then…?”

Satoshi sighed. He couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer.

“Do you want to see what he looked like?”

Risa’s eyes sparkled. He urged her over to the covered painting and slipped the tarp off, revealing the completed Dark Mousy portrait.

And Satoshi, bathed in the blue flow of the recently set sun, could only stand there and watch as the pure elation in her face gave way to tears.

Dammit.

…

“You’re giving it to me?” she asked after she calmed down.

“Yes. The paint’s still drying, so I’ll let you know when you can take it home.”

Risa sniffled before looking at the painting again.

“What’s his name?”

“Dark Mousy.”

She giggled. “What a silly name!”

“Indeed.”

She continued to admire the work. Her eyes glistened under the fluorescent lights, and her smile wouldn’t leave her face.

“You don’t want to learn more about him?” Satoshi asked.

She looked at him and beamed brighter than the lights above. “Nah. I think this is enough for today. There’s always another time to find out more about him.” Risa slipped off the desk and straightened her skirt. “Anyways, let’s head out now.”

“Yes, we should.”

Satoshi covered the portrait. He took the club room keys out of his pocket and, after turning off the lights, locked the door behind them. They made their way towards the faculty office.

“I’m in the mood for some crepes. Wanna grab some on the way back? My treat.”

“I’ll pass.”

“Aw. You’re no fun.”

#satoshi hiwatari #DNAngel #dn angel #d.n.angel #risa harada #satorisa #takeshi saehara #my fanfiction #my writing #falling

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noladyme · 3 years

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Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 5, Bloody Demons I

Disclaimer: I posted this story a few days ago, hating it, and regretting it the minute it was up. I re-wrote it, and hope you’ll like it.

The road so far…

Waitress. School teacher. Bartender. Hunter. Lulu has come a long way since she first met the Winchesters, including the father, John. Having left behind the occult for a life of peace, she was ripped out of it, when – once again – the Winchesters came in to her life. Realizing she is in the life now – for good – she also made a decision for herself. To live that life without the only man she has ever truly cared for. Both to keep him and his brother safe from leviathans, angels and demons; but also, because she doesn’t trust that her feelings for Dean are true – and not part of some higher plan set up by celestial powers.

Our story continues in season 8

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added) @edonaspanca @wonderlandfandomkingdom

You’d be surprised how much info you can get in a library. This statement might seem ridiculous, because – of course – a library holds all the knowledge in the world. But there’s more than what you can find in books. There’s peoplewatching.

If you look at what people check out, you’ll learn a lot about them. That middle aged woman checking out a book on auto repairs – her car broke down, and he husband usually takes care of those kinds of things; but now he’s left her for a younger woman. The teenage boy with the masses of comic books in his arms – odds are there is at least one My Little Pony comic among them, that he’s too embarrassed to buy at a store; so he goes to the library to get it, hiding it among comics about big breasted women and superheroes. The woman sitting alone at a table with a massive paper cup of black coffee; surrounded by books on local history and papers and notes on the occult – if you came into the library on that specific day; that was me. And I was hunting a ghost.

I’d spent more than a year salting and burning my way across the states; avoiding any real fights, and sticking to the easier and more obvious cases, where all I needed was to open a grave, and take care of the bones. Managing to convince my ex, Pete – who was still reeling from the traumatic temporary memory loss he’d suffered, after being kidnapped by leviathans – to send my belongings to my friends in San Francisco; I was now free to disappear for good. No strings attached; save for the occasional call to Raul – letting him know I was alive, and still serving beer in Alaska. In reality, I was in Hartford, near Sioux Falls, South Dakota; having just picked up a box of old papers stood in the basement of a good acquaintance.

“How was your visit with the good sheriff?”, a female voice asked me. I jumped in my seat; having been deeply invested in a piece of paper scribbled over with rantings of what seemed like a madman – who’s every tenth word was balls. “Jesus Christ, Tamara”, I hissed. “You scared the crap out of me!”. My friend sat down across from me, and took the paper from my hand. “Bobby Singer… I still can’t believe what happened to him”, Tamara said sadly.

I rested my elbow on the table, and took a sip from my coffee. “When did you last see him?”, I asked. Tamara’s face was ghosted with sadness, before she met my eyes. “Years ago. Back when Isaac…”. She didn’t finish the sentence. “You never told me what happened to him”, I said. “I mean, you don’t have to…”. She smiled slightly. “It’s all right”, she said. “Demons. We were working on taking out a whole group of them, when… he didn’t make it”. She sighed. “Bobby was there; along with some younger lads… Sam and Dean Winchester. Heard of them?”.

It had been a long time since I’d heard those names. Even Jody didn’t mention them to me, when I checked in with her – as she’d insisted I do weekly, after that one time I called her from the ER, telling her about a tulpa in Minnesota; that I needed her to have the brothers check out. I’d had no idea what to do with it; and had ended up with a nasty gash down my ribs. She’d told me she hadn’t been in touch with them for months, and didn’t know how to reach them at the moment. I’d thanked her, but when she heard the sadness in my voice, she’d insisted on picking me up, and I’d spent a few days on her couch; eating lasagna and watching daytime tv. I’d been too afraid to decline, when she used her mom-voice on me.

I swallowed hard. “You worked with them?”, I muttered. “Only that once”, Tamara said. “Why, you know them?”. The corner of my lip twitched. “I saw that!”, Tamara gasped. “What?”, I croaked. “Which one…?”, she whispered. “Sam… he’s got that tall broody thing going”. She smirked at me as I looked away. “Oh… Dean… Sure you didn’t catch anything?”. “Tammy!”, I hissed. “Don’t you Tammy me!”, she retorted. “That car… is it to compensate; or does he not need that…?”. I met her eyes, and gave her a crooked smile. She grinned widely at me. I shook my head. “I have work to do”, I muttered.

Forcing myself to ignore the memory of Dean and his car – and Dean in his car; with me on his lap – I returned to the 1950 death of a young woman, who had ever since been seen, once a year, walking over a bridge near a lover’s lane. Tamara sighed. “I need to get to Kansas”. “That vampire nest?”, I asked, taking another large sip of my coffee. She nodded. “You sure you don’t want to join me? Girls trip?”, she asked. “You have all the help you need up there; and I never took down a vamp before. I’d just get in the way”, I answered. “But thank you for the ride here”, I added.

She stood up. “You, my friend, need a car!”. “Yeah… Digging up old graves and reading weird books doesn’t exactly pay well”, I muttered. The last car I’d had, had broken down three months earlier. She looked at me with worried eyes. “You can’t keep hitch-hiking across the country, love”, she said. “Bloody dangerous, that is”. “I’ll be fine. Really”, I smiled. I stood up, and hugged my friend goodbye; and promised to call if anything came up, she needed to help out with.

I took a bus back to my motel, and settled in for the night; with a beer and some day-old pizza. My burner-phone buzzed; and recognizing the number, I picked up. “Hey, Jody”, I said. “Did I forget something at your place?”. “Hey, sweetie. Uhm…”. “What? Jody…”, I demanded. “I just had a visit from a weird guy in a flasher-coat… he was looking for you”, she said. Castiel, I thought to myself – my heart leaping from my chest. “What did he… Did he hurt you?”, I asked; by instinct reaching for the angel sword. “No… But he wanted to know where you were”. She sighed. “Look, I don’t mind being your switchboard receptionist; god knows, things around here can get downright dull. But this guy…”. I chewed my lip. “I’m sorry, Jody… Did you tell him where I was?”, I asked. She scoffed. “You won’t even tell me yourself. How could I?”.

I sighed; unsure whether it was in relief, or something else. “You know, I’m aware you’re close by… I could just check all motels in a 40-mile radius for check-ins by classic rock superstars…”, Jody said, a smile in her voice. “Going full cop on me?”, I grinned. “I don’t use those anymore… too obvious”. “Burlesque names then?”, she said. “You caught me…”, I replied. As it was, I was checked in as Justinia Timberlake; going with boybands – for reasons I didn’t want to admit to myself. “Thanks, ma’…”. “Well, that makes me feel old… Anyway, he said he’d be back later tonight. Needed to find you. Do you want to be found by him?”.

I took a deep breath, pondering the question. No, I didn’t want to be found by the person who’d let leviathans loose on the world; causing me to be almost eaten by one 18 months ago. Yes, I wanted to see my friend; to know he was ok. He hadn’t hurt Jody to get to me, so maybe he was good Cass again. I sighed. “When he comes, tell him… Tell him I’ll be in the shower at the Motel 6 in Hartford. Room 13”. I’d know when he arrived if I could trust him. “That sounds… Ok, I’ll tell him. Be careful, Lulu”. “I will. Bye, Jody”. I hung up; and began preparations.

---

Bobby’s journal had helped me out quite a bit in the last year, helping me keep under the radar by pointing out which motels were off the beaten path; and which monsters to stay clear of. Even after it seemed the leviathans had disappeared, I still kept well away from anyone and everything that might put me in contact with angels and demons – and the Winchesters for that matter.

Another thing it had taught me was the sigil I was currently writing on the wall; while still wincing in pain from the gash in my palm I’d cut to draw blood. All my belongings were in my backpack – which I was wearing – and my sword was in my hand. I was ready to repel a crazy angel; and to skip town quickly. I took a deep breath, and readied myself.

After what seemed like forever – just standing next to a bloody scribbling on a wall – I felt a gush of wind; and Castiel stood in front of me. He was covering his eyes with one hand, and holding out a towel with the other. The sight brought joyous tears to my eyes.

“Cass…”, I breathed. The angel carefully parted the fingers over his eyes – and satisfied that I was indeed dressed – he dropped the towel, and smiled at me. “Lulu. It is good to see you”. I dropped my sword, and leapt over to embrace my friend. Castiel reacted as he’d always done when I showed him affection; by tensing up, and gently patting my head. He smelled like old librarian mixed with fresh air, and – for some reason – musk and gunpowder. He’d been with them.

I let go of him, and stepped back. “What happened? Are you ok?”, I asked. The angel smiled amiably. “Yes. I am… myself again”, he said. “I have to apologize for our last meeting. I was… different”. I gave him a crooked smile. “I wish I could say it was water under the bridge, but you did kind of bad-touch me”, I said. “Not sexually, I mean… but still”. Cass chuckled. It was a strange – almost human – reaction. “Yes, I carved words into your bones. It is also why I haven’t been able to find you”.

I took off my backpack, and got out the small first aid kit I had in it. Castiel frowned. “I’m sorry, but I can’t heal you. I need to save my strength”. I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ve been taking care of my own wounds for over a year”. “Yes, that is what others have told us…”. My breath hitched, and I tried to seem indifferent. “Us?”, I croaked; and began running a bandage around my hand. “Yes”, Cass nodded. “Me, Sam… and Dean. We’ve been looking for you for a few weeks. We need… your book. Bobby Singer’s book”. Just the book. Of course, it was just that. “We are working on… something”. I let out a scoffing laugh. “Well call me not surprised”, I said.

Cass stepped towards me. “So… you’ll give me the book?”. I narrowed my eyes at him. “No”. “No?”, Cass retorted with a confused look at me. “That’s right”, I smiled. “It’s mine”. “But… we need it”.

I took a deep breath; and made a decision. “Where the book goes, I go… So, I’ll go with you”. Castiel’s eyes lit up. “You will? That’s… good. I think”, he smiled. “I can take you right away”. He stepped towards me. “Wait, stop!”, I said. Cass halted. “Where?”. “Lawrence, Kansas. It’s a safe place, don’t worry”, the angel smiled.

I looked down at my feet. I was wearing my boots; that was good. I packed up my backpack, and put it on my back. I picked up the box of Bobby’s old papers; but Cass took them from me, so I wouldn’t have to carry them. “Ok… let’s go”, I croaked.

Castiel lifted an arm, and walked towards me; putting his hand on my shoulder.

---

We were standing by a large mound with what looked like an old factory building seemingly growing out of it. My legs felt like jelly, and Cass grabbed my arm to steady me. “We’re here”, he said. “Where’s here?”, I asked breathily. “I’ll show you”, Cass smiled. We walked up a small road, and passed a black car I recognized from my past – and my dreams and nightmares. Cass led me to a metal door sprouting from the mound. “It’s inside”, he muttered, and opened the screeching door for me.

I stepped inside and was met by a dark spiral staircase leading downwards. Castiel walked ahead of me; which I was thankful for, as I didn’t trust my own legs, and would rather be caught by him, than fall and break my neck. Suddenly a warm light hit me, and I stepped out on a balcony overlooking a large room outfitted with a large table made out as a map. The scent of library hit me, and I understood why Castiel had smelled the way he did when I hugged him. The large room was warm and inviting; but also looked very official, with it’s filing cabinets, and papers on the table.

Castiel walked ahead of me down another flight of stairs, and put the box of papers on the mapped table. “I’m back!”, he called out. “About time!”, a voice that sent shivers down my spine growled. “Please tell us you got something. At least dinner”. “I’m afraid I didn’t have the time to get food for you”, Cass said, and walked towards a large archway leading to another room further inside the bunker – as I decided this place was. “Dude, I gave you 20 bucks for burgers!”.

I considered turning around and leaving. I screamed at myself internally to just haul ass up the stairs, and never come back. But I couldn’t.

Castiel stood in the archway, and looked up at me. “I brought the journal… And a guest”. “You shouldn’t bring people here”, I heard Sam’s voice. My heart pounded, as I heard footsteps across hardwood floor; and then my 6’4 friend stood in the archway with the angel; looking the direction he was. His jaw instantly dropped, and his eyes sparkled.

“I want my 20 bucks back, dude”, Dean said as he joined the other two. “I could eat a…”. He looked up. “Lou…”. Castiel frowned. “You can’t eat…”. “Shut up”, Dean croaked, stepping down the few stairs into the large concrete floored room.

I took a gasping breath; having to remind myself to breathe at all. “Hi…”, I rasped. Dean seemed unsure what to say. “Hey…?”. I began descending the stairs into the room; taking care to hit every step just so, so I wouldn’t trip. Before I hit the last step; Dean took four long strides towards me – and threw his arms around me – holding me tight against him. I put my arms around his neck, and he lifted me down the last steps. Musk, gunpowder, whiskey – Dean. My warm, constantly five o’clock shadowed, strong; yet so fragile, Dean.

I had to tear myself from him; taking short breaths, and trying desperately not to inhale him even further. It was agony. His eyes where as deep and soulful as ever, and the corner of his lip lifted; giving him an expression I couldn’t define as whether being relief, joy or pain – or maybe all three at once.

“Lulu?”, Sam croaked from behind me. I turned around, and threw myself into his arms, earning a spin in the air, as he lifted me. “Hi, Sammy”, I breathed. He squeezed me tightly. “Air!”, I gasped. “Sorry”, Sam chuckled, and put me down; before stroking my cheek.

All four of us stood for a moment, before Castiel cleared his throat. “Well, Lulu is here now. She has the book”, he said. “We can get on with our work”. “Just give us a moment here, Cass”, Sam said. “How are you, Lulu? We’ve been looking for you”. ”You shouldn’t have”, I muttered. “I know, you made that pretty clear last time we heard from you. But…”, Sam began. “We need Bobby’s book”, Dean said; having stepped up next to me. Right, the book.

I raised a brow at him. “My book. And you can’t have it”, I said. Dean frowned. “But… we need it”, he said. “So do I”, I retorted. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Why does it feel like we’ve had this conversation before?”. “Because we did, agent Osbourne”, I chuckled. “Right”, he smiled.

Sam – who apparently just needed a bucket of popcorn for the entertainment he was getting from our conversation – stifled a smile. “Lulu, we’re working on something pretty big here”, he said. “What?”, I asked. “Saving humanity”, Dean said. “Again?”, I sighed. Sam let out a soft laugh. “Wouldn’t be us if it wasn’t, right?”.

I walked up the stairs into the other room, which walls were covered in filing cabinets and books. “What is this place?”, I asked, in awe. Sam followed me into the room. “This is The Men of Letter’s bunker”. “Who are they?”. “Us… now”, Dean shrugged. “We’re kind of like a secret society”. His smugness was tangent of embarrassing. “Look, we’ll fill you in on whatever you want…”, Sam began. Dean cleared his throat, and suddenly looked at his brother with hard eyes.

I rolled my eyes. “This again…”, I muttered. Dean frowned. “What?”. “We need to keep you safe. Keep your head low. Stay here. Go there”, I imitated his growling. “I don’t sound like that!”, Dean growled; proving my impersonation had been right on. He frowned at me, looking cute as a button doing so. I sent him a pouting smile. “Whatever. We need the book”. “And I told you. You can’t have it. I need it”. “For what?”, he grunted. “For jobs”, I replied.

Dean pursed his lips, and blew out a deep breath; clearly trying to control himself. “So you have been… doing jobs…”. “Of course I have”, I said. “What else am I supposed to do? Officially, I think I’m probably dead. There aren’t a lot of teaching gigs out there for dead chicks, who hit the road with fugitives”. He stepped over to me, and grabbed my hand. “And what’s this?”, he asked, pointing at the bandage on it. “A precaution”, I said. “Against me”, Castiel said. “Lulu was right to be careful. Last time she saw me…”. He looked down in remembrance; clearly still ashamed of his former actions.

Dean unwrapped my hand. “Sam, this needs stitches”, he grunted. I tore my hand from his grasp. “I’m fine”, I muttered. “You’re not fine, Lulu. You’re bleeding. Just let us fix you up”. I shook my head in surrender. “There’s a needle and some floss in my bag”, I said, and took of my backpack. “We have actual medical supplies now”, Sam smiled, and disappeared through a door.

Castiel slipped away as well, leaving me and Dean alone in the large room. I sat down at one of the large tables. Dean sat on the edge of the table. “So, hunting?”, he muttered. “How’s that treating you?”. “Well enough”, I said. He clenched his jaw. “Huh… How do you take down a werewolf?”, he asked. “Silver bullet”, I said. “Vampire?”, he continued, raising a brow at me. “Decapitation or fire”. “Shojo?”.

I let out a frustrated breath. “I have no idea, Dean. Never met one”, I said. “Never met a werewolf or a vampire either”. “Good, you’re not ready for any of that”, he said. “You shouldn’t even be here right now”. “It’s not safe”, I imitated him again. “Stop”, he grunted. “You have no idea how to be a hunter. Or what you’re getting yourself mixed up in by coming back here with Cass”. I clenched my jaw. “You’re right on one of those two accounts”, I said. “No, I don’t know what you’re working on, and it’s probably much to dangerous for me. But yes – I do know how to hunt. At least partly. And I’m learning as I go. Isn’t that what everybody does?”. He scoffed, and shook his head with a sarcastic smile. “In over your head, sugar”. “Screw you, Dean”, I growled.

I got of my chair; almost making it topple over from the force of my movement. “I have been working jobs all over for a long time now”, I hissed. “I’ve been playing it safe, yes; but what I’ve been doing, matters!”. Dean rolled his eyes. “Lou, you’re…”, he began. “A newbie. Unskilled, untrained; and with a desperate need for better equipment than the .45 you gave me 18 months ago”. I drew my lips back in a sneer. “But I’m not an idiot, and I don’t want to die. I’m not gonna throw myself at monsters I know nothing about, and can’t take down. But I have to learn to survive in this job, and I’m learning by working”. He shook his head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about”. “Then tell me!”, I yelled.

Dean suddenly laughed. The gesture made me want to smack him across the face, but my hand still hurt from the cut. I snatched Bobby’s journal from my bag, and held it up. “You want this?”, I snarled. “Then you treat me with a little more respect for what I’ve been doing the last year!”. I grabbed my bag, and stormed towards the stairs. “Lou!”, Dean called after me. “Go to Hell…! Again!”, I yelled over my shoulder.

I heard him run after me, and he grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry”, he said. “Really…”. I turned around to face him. “I don’t need your permission to do something I’m actually kind of good at”, I said. “You don’t know…”. “You’re right. I don’t”, Dean said earnestly. “So, tell me… please. Maybe I… we can help”. I calmed my breathing. “Let go of my arm”, I croaked. He instantly stepped back.

Sam returned with a box. “We’re out of disinfectant”, he said. “Whiskey it is”, I muttered. “Please tell me you have that”.

---

Soon after, we were seated at the big table; as Sam was carefully stitching up my hand. “So, Ohio… ow! Bloody hell, Sam!”, I hissed, as he poked the needle through my skin. “New curse words, Lou”, Dean chuckled. “And fancy English ones as well”. I smiled. “Yeah, speaking of Ohio… ow”, I continued. “A crazy nurse had been killing patients in the 40’s; and the hospital was closing down – pissing her off something fierce… ow”. “Sorry”, Sam muttered, and pulled at the surgical thread. Dean poured me another drink. “Go on”, he said.

“She was suddenly nabbing pretty much every and any patient she could”, I said; before taking a sip of the whiskey. “I was looking up where they’d buried her after her execution, but it turned out she’d been cremated”. “What did you do?”, Sam asked. He made a final stitch. “Remind me to smack you across the face, when this heals up”, I muttered. “That hurt!”. He chuckled at me, and began wrapping up my hand in a clean bandage. “I found out from an old picture that she had a locket around her neck; which they took from her before she died. It was displayed at a museum in Dayton; and when I tracked it down, I met another hunter”. I looked up at Dean. “Tamara”.

Dean looked stunned. “Tamara? As in British Tamara?”. “Yeah”, I smiled. “She’d gotten there before me; and like me, suspected a strand of hair might be stuck in the locket. I distracted the security guy long enough for her to nab it”. “How?”, he frowned. I looked at him innocently, biting my lip. He looked at me exasperatedly. “You didn’t… Please tell me you didn’t…”. I rolled my eyes. “Sleep with him? No. I just flirted with him a little”. Dean swallowed hard. “You do that all the time”, Sam grinned. “That’s totally different!”, Dean growled.

Sam shook his head. “Then what?”, he asked. “Salt and burn”, I smiled. “Which is pretty much all I’ve been doing. I haven’t been taking on anything hardcore. Yet”. “Really?”, Dean asked warily. I grimaced. “Well… about 9 months ago I came across a tulpa. I thought it was just your every day ghost, and I was just checking out the house; when it attacked me. Salt didn’t work, or iron…”. Dean suddenly looked tense. “What did it do to you?”, he growled. I lifted my t-shirt slightly; exposing a mostly white scar down my ribs. Dean reached over the table, and made to touch it, but I dropped the fabric, and sat back in my chair; finishing my drink in one go. “I had no idea what to do about it, but Bobby wrote something about you guys taking one out some years back; so I called Jody”.

“I asked the sheriff to help me find Lulu”, Cass said, having reappeared with a bag of Mexican food. “I have… taquitos. And jalapeño poppers”, he added, with a soft smile in my direction. “Ranch?”, I asked. The angel nodded. “I love you!”. Castiel cleared his throat. “I have warm emotions towards you as well”, he said.

“So, you called Jody. Why?”, Sam asked; packing up the medical kit. “To get her to have you take care of it. But she said she couldn’t get in touch with you”. Dean scratched his chin. “Yeah, Cass and I were in Purgatory, and Sam hit a dog…”, he muttered. I shook my head. “Nothing’s ever easy with you guys, is it…”.

I opened the bag Castiel had put on the table, and dived for my poppers. “Yum. Extra cheese”, I hummed. I noticed Dean’s eyes warming almost endearingly; but when I licked my finger for a stray dollop of dressing, his gaze suddenly darkened into something else. He parted his lips, and his eyes fastened on my mouth. My breath hitched, and I shook myself – quickly wiping my mouth with a napkin. “I’m gonna go grab the beer”, Dean grunted; and left the room as quickly as he could.

“So, what are you working on?”, my voice broke. “We found a tablet”, Sam said. “The word of God”. My eyes widened. “The actual word of God?”, I breathed. “What?”. “We’re going to use it to seal Hell. For good”. I nodded. “That sounds like an awesome idea!”, I smiled. “How can I help?”.

“You can’t”, Dean grunted, returning with three beers, and a bottle of seltzer for Cass. “This isn’t on you”. “But you need my book”, I said. “And you’re not getting that without my say so”. He tilted his head, and gave me his trademark smirk, sending electric jolts straight to my core. “We could always take it from you”. With bated breath, I put my sword on the table; keeping my hand on the hilt. “I’d like to see you try”, I croaked. “All right, you know…”. Dean clenched his fists, before rolling up his sleeves. I stood up. “We gonna dance now?”, I said; trying for menacing – and failing miserably. “Let me just get my NSYNC-album”, he snarled.

“Ok, guys! Stop!”, Sam called out. “Lulu, Dean’s right. This is a pretty dangerous operation we’ve got going on here. You shouldn’t get involved”.

I clenched my jaw, and took a deep breath to calm myself. “Tell you what… I’ll go back to my own work; and you three can figure out how to save the world without Bobby’s journal”, I said; beginning to put my jacket back on. “When you decide to stop acting like dicks, and let me in on why you’re trying to mess up my job, by taking away my research…”. “It’s Bobby’s research”, Dean snarled. “That he left for me!”, I yelled. “And it has my additions”. I went to grab my bag, when Dean snatched the journal from it, before I could reach it. He held it over his head, as he had my sword, years ago. “Don’t do this…”, I hissed. “I watched plenty of roller derby games, sweetheart. I know your moves”.

His smug smile lit a fire in me, like none other I had never felt before. I ran at him, throwing my shoulder against his chest, making him stumble backwards, and knock over a chair. The journal fell from his hand, and slid across the floor; and I threw myself after it. Dean grabbed my ankle; and I fell to the floor, on my stomach. I tried to kick myself free from his grasp – and reached the book; clutching it to my chest under me. Dean straddled me – his strong legs keeping me in place – and he twisted my body around by my shoulders. We wrestled for the books, and when Dean grabbed my wrists – forcing them over my head – I finally had to let go. He looked at me with hard eyes. “Take it”, he growled; still holding me in place. “Dean…!”, Sam yelled; running over to us. “Take it, Sam!”, his brother roared. Sam took the book from the floor, and looked at me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Lulu”, he muttered.

Dean stayed on top of me – holding me down. His weight on me made my body scream for his touch; at the same time as I wanted him to let me go, and to never touch me again. He looked enraged; but then a thought seemed to cross his mind – one that made him realize what he was doing. He let go of my wrists, and I pushed at his chest hard; making him get off me. Castiel came over, and helped me to my feet.

I stormed out of the room, and down a hallway of doors with numbers on them. Once I found number 13, I opened the door, and stepped inside; slamming it shut behind me.

I took deep breaths – fighting tears and hiccupping sobs. Looking around the room, I tried to focus on what I was seeing, to distract myself. Damn self-help books, I thought to myself. Please help me now. Five things I could see. A bed, a desk, a chair, a book on 1920’s psychiatry, and a dresser. Four things I could touch. I stood up. The floor, the wall, the comforter on the bed, and the gun in the back of my jeans. Three things I could hear. The clock ticking over the door, the drips from the faucet on the sink, and my own footsteps. Two things I could smell. Gunpowder and musk. Dammit. One thing I could taste. The whiskey I’d had earlier.

With one final breath, I felt my heart settle – before it sprang up in my throat again, when the door knocked. “Lou…? Can I come in?”. I stood with my back to the door, not answering. “I know you’re in there. Table 13; always table 13, right?”.

Dean opened the door, and stepped inside, closing it behind him.

“I’m sorry, baby… I didn’t mean…”, he began. “I still… It hurts… even being in the same room as you”, I croaked, and a tear fell down my cheek, as I turned around – making Dean’s face fall into a pained expression. “I keep trying to get over you… Hunting, drinking… sex”. He winced at the last word. “I tried it all, Dean, but it never works”. “I know…”, he breathed. He might as well have added an I feel the same – his eyes gave away the words. “Why doesn’t it work?”, I whimpered.

He stepped towards me, but I held up my hands to stop him. “Don’t… please”. I balled my fists up – forcing my body to stay in place, and not walk into his arms. “You can use my book. You have 48 hours, then I want it back”. Dean nodded solemnly. I closed my eyes. “After that, I’m gone. For good”. I crunched up my brows, and opened my eyes again, looking at Dean with as much determination I could muster. “You don’t look for me, don’t ask for me – pretend I’m a stranger if you hear my name”. Dean’s lips parted, but I continued before he could speak. “I’m done. I can’t… see you. It hurts to much”.

Dean’s eyes watered. “Lou, please… don’t do this”, he breathed. “Don’t throw me away like this”. “I’m sorry”, I rasped. “This isn’t real. If they hadn’t planned it, we would have never gone beyond that first kiss; you know it as well as I do”. He shook his head, and a tear escaped his eye. “I lo…”. “You don’t”, I said. “You think you do; but it’s only because I was made for you. I have to be my own. And I can’t, if you keep popping up in my life”.

Dean closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. When he looked at me again, I saw complete defeat in his gaze. I’d just broken his heart. “Ok. If that’s what you want”, he whispered, a tear escaping his eye. I wanted to say It’s not. I want you. I want us. But I needed a clean break, and I believed Dean needed that as well. “48 hours. Give me back the book, and you’ll never have to see me again. It’s better this way. For both of us”. Dean nodded. “You can stay in here, if it’s easier than being around me”, he muttered; eyes on the floor. “I’ll stay away”. “Thank you”, I croaked.

He left the room, and I closed the door behind him.

---

I stayed in the room for hours, curled up on the bed. At one point, there was a knock at the door; and when I opened, there stood a tray outside, with food and a bottle of seltzer. I sent a warm thought to Cass, and took the tray inside; eating my meal in peace. There was no entertainment in the room – save for the outdated book on psychiatry – and after finishing my meal, I was going stir crazy.

I tried to catch a little sleep, but couldn’t rest properly; and decided to leave the room. Avoiding going in to the library, I snuck down the hall; and examined my surroundings. I found a large kitchen, outfitted to serve a large amount of people. The fridge was filled with leftover fast food and beer; making it clear that the Winchesters had yet to become all the way domesticated. Down a smaller hallway was a large storage room, with things I was quite sure I shouldn’t be touching. I left the room as quickly as I had entered.

Passing another few numbered doors, I went past number 21. The door was slightly ajar, and inside, Sam was bent over Bobby’s journal, seemingly enraptured by what he was reading. He looked up, and met my eyes – sending me a crooked smile – before I hurried away, to avoid conversation. He didn’t follow.

I found what looked like an old-fashioned gym; and my eyes widened in glee. Here, I felt at home. The punching bags and boxing gloves reminded me of my sessions with Raul. I took off my boots, and grabbed a pair of gloves that seemed to fit my hands – turning my attention to one of the bags.

Punch, punch, kick. This I knew. All my frustrations – the pent-up emotions – I let travel through my arms and legs; as I attacked the bag. “You’re angry”, Cass said; having appeared in the doorway. “I’m… no”, I said. “You’re distraught”, the angel tried. “Something like that. I’m sad. Frustrated…”. I punched hard at the bag. “Tired”.

Muscle pain was building up in my shoulders, and I took off the gloves; dropping them on the floor next to me. “I thought you would be happy to see your friends”, Castiel said. I was thinking of a good way to explain my emotions to him. “I can’t… be happy. Not now”. “Why?”, Cass asked. I chuckled. “Talking to you is like talking to Rain Man”, I said. Castiel grinned. “I’ve seen that movie now. Uh oh, fart…”, he chuckled. “But I would like to understand”.

I punched the bag hard with my stitched-up hand; wincing from the pain. I held it up for Castiel to see. “This – pain – I can feel it. It’s real”, I said. “Impact… physical reaction… It makes sense”. “And happiness doesn’t?”, Cass asked. “No, because I can’t trust it… it’s not real”. Castiel looked like he was pondering my words. “But your physical interactions with Dean… those make sense, don’t they?”. I groaned. “Me and Dean… Is… was, more than physical”. “Yes I know”, the angel said. “You have feelings for each other”. “But they’re not real”, I explained. “Why not?”. “You should know”, I scoffed. “Angel…”.

Castiel seemed even more confused. “I’m not following”, he said. I shook my head. “I… just can’t do this anymore”, I breathed. I put my boots back on. “I’m going back to my room. You have about 40 hours left with my book”. I left the room and the angel behind.

I was feeling sweaty, and decided to search for a shower. The many hallways were confusing; and I finally caved, and decided to ask Sam for help. Arriving back at room 21, the door was closed, and when I knocked there was no answer. I opened the door to see if he was inside, but all I found was a made bed, and some clothes over a chair. I walked back towards the kitchen, and bumped in to Dean; who was leaving the room with a mug of coffee in his hand.

“Sorry”, I muttered, as I noticed his coffee having spilt slightly over the floor. “I’ll clean that up”. “Don’t worry about it”, he said quietly. “I got it…”. “Ok”, I nodded. “I just…”. He looked at me hopefully. “I was looking for a shower”. Dean nodded. “Down the hall, to the left by my… by room 11”, he said. “Thank you”, I whispered; and scurried off.

Finally finding the showers, I got undressed, and turned on the water. The water pressure and temperature were amazing; just like everything else in the bunker. So far, everything I had seen here was perfect. There were clean rooms, a well-stocked library, access to training equipment and weapons, and my friends were here. And Dean. I could stay here, and be happy. But it wouldn’t be real.

As I let the water drip over my naked body, I leaned against the wall. I began questioning my choice to continue hunting. I’d have never started in the life, if I hadn’t met the Winchesters – if angels hadn’t put me in their path. Maybe angels had sent the maren after me to begin with. Maybe I should quit.

The thought was comforting and terrifying all at once. I’d have to start over – again. Be a teacher or tend bars; that was all I knew, other than what I had been doing the last year. And I loved hunting, I helped people; even if I never let anyone know why their houses stopped having flickering lights; or why hospitals stopped losing patients who had only minor injuries. I stayed quiet about what I did; didn’t need the glory.

Turning off the water, I realized I hadn’t brought clean clothes into the bathroom; and wrapped myself in a large towel – slipping quietly down the hall to avoid meeting anyone. I passed room 11, and heard voices from inside.

“She doesn’t really want to be here, Cass”, Dean muttered. “Why? I don’t understand. You two…”, Castiel began. “Because it’s not real!”, Dean growled. “Your… ass-butt brothers made her specifically for me. It’s not real, it’s forced on me… and her”. “Dean…”. “Find some way to break this bond we have. It’s not fair to her…”, Dean said. “I can’t do that…”, Cass said quietly. “Why?”, Dean roared. There was no answer. “Cass… just get out”. The door began opening, as if someone was pulling at the knob, and I ran for room 13; closing and locking the door behind me.

Good. He was on the same page as me. And maybe there was a way to break our bond; and make me free of these feelings. Maybe Cass just didn’t know how to, and I just had to find another angel – or whatever – to help.

My phone rang – distracting me from my thoughts. “Yeah?”, I answered it. “Lulu. It’s Tamara”, my friend said. “Hey, Tammy. What’s up?”. “I need your help. My partner didn’t show up; and this nest isn’t a one-woman job”. I sighed. “Tammy…”. “I know, I know; but I really need you on this one. Think of it as a learning experience”. I frowned. It would be a good way to learn, I agreed – and I trusted Tamara knew what she was doing. On top of that, I needed to be as far away from Dean as I could. “Give me the address…”.

After Tamara had let me know where to meet her, I got dressed quickly, and put on my jacket. Almost running through the library, I saw Sam now bent over a strange looking rock, by the mapped table. “I’m going out. I’ll be back for my book”, I muttered, and went to get my backpack, when I realized it was missing. “I packed up a bag”, Sam said. “It’s got some better equipment for you; if you’re gonna keep up hunting”. I looked over my shoulder at him. “Thanks”, I muttered. “Welcome”, he said.

He handed me a canvas backpack, with a little more weight than my own. I opened it, and saw bullets and a large knife, and a machete in a leather sheath. “Silver ammo, iron knife; and there’s a zippo in the side pocket”. “Weres, witches and vampires. Got it”, I said; and put on the bag. Sam frowned. “Where are you going?”. “Just… out. Meeting a friend”, I said. “Do you have a car I can use until I get back?” He threw me a set of car keys. “There’s a Dodge parked a little way down the road. Take it. And uhm… my number. Just in case”. He scribbled down a number on a piece of paper, and came over to hand it to me. I smiled warmly, and pocketed the keys and the note. “How long will you be gone?”, Sam muttered. “As long as it takes. That’s how the job is, right?”, I shrugged. Sam’s face dropped. “What job?”, he demanded. I sighed. “Don’t worry. Your care-package here will keep me safe”, I smiled. “I’ll be back before you know it. Maybe you’ll even have a few extra hours with my book”. “Lulu… what job?”. I got on my toes, and kissed his cheek. “Bye, Sammy”. I ran up the stairs, and exited the bunker.

I found my “new” car half a mile down the road. It was rusty and sad looking; and fit my state of mind perfectly at the moment. I got settled in the driver’s seat, after having set the Dodge up the way I wanted it. Surprisingly, the engine started without trouble; and I turned on the radio. Dean must have driven the car before, because a tape began playing Girls Girls Girls. I was smiling sadly to myself, as I drove the car out on the road at the bottom of the mound.

---

#dean winchester fic #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester #dean x oc #sam winchester #supernatural #supernatural fic

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 4 years

Text

Another Story

A supernatural au with brothers Kim Seokjin and Kim Jungkook

au: I’m sorry that I keep writing new stories. I have a problem

wc:1794

“Bitch”

“Jerk”

Seokjin and Jungkook just turned their heads slightly towards each other and had little smiles on their faces showing affection to their curse words.

“So, where to next huh? Any new cases that you happened to stumble upon.” Seokjin said as he leaned down to the passenger side window to look at his younger brother Jungkook who was usually the one always looking for anything that speaked- um actually SCREAMED monsters.

“Well there seems to be an unusual amount of ‘coyote’ attacks in California, and usually those cases end up being werewolves.” Jungkook replied quietly almost like he was mostly talking to himself and not noticing that Seokjin was next to him and was able to hear his words.

Seokjin clapped the hood of the impala causing a loud bang to echo through the car, causing Jungkook to jump slightly in his seat being snapped out of his daze. Seokjin just smirked and walked away towards the gas pump. Jungkook just mumbled to himself going back to looking at maps and newspapers.

After Seokjin put the gas pump back he came back into the car ready to start their journey to California for werewolves. Seokjin was just blasting his classic music, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel feeling the beat, while Jungkook picked up his head slowly with a slightly questioning look to his soft features.

“Have you heard from (Y/n) in a while?” Jungkook asked with worry hidden in his tone.

“No, haven't I heard from her in probably a month? But she knows how to handle herself, she is an angel after all Googie.” Seokjin responded with a nice smile pulling his plush lips upwards.

Somewhere in the middle of Kansas

All you remember was stopping at a phone booth trying to call Seokjin and Jungkook, then following a lead for demons; hoping that you would stumble upon Taehyung with you needing to have a conversation with him. Then the next, blacking out.

You were slowly starting to come too, your eyes fluttering trying to open again with black dots clouding your vision and a huge headache coming along with you causing you to wince. Slowly bringing your head up to look at your surroundings to try and make sense of your situation, deciding what is a good option on trying to escape.

You were in some room, looked like an abandoned living room of some house. The walls were barely keeping up, a couple of windows were shattered allowing for the breeze to come through with a howling coming along, there were torn curtains along with some burned to the top. There was a dining table with four chairs, one for each side. Then there was a small tv, a tattered couch, a spring with some cushioning showing. There was trash everywhere on the floor, and there was a bunch of graffiti showing that teenagers were here every now and then being their reckless selfs. You just scoffed and gagged in your mouth.

Rolling your eyes, you looked down to see yourself tied to a simple wooden chair with duct tape.

‘Are they really this stupid?’ you thought to yourself.

“Ah, I see you are awake now. How was your slumber?” Your mystery person asked.

You snapped your head up at the sound of their voice, it sounded kinda familiar. Making eye contact with the person you can’t help, but gasp.

“Taehyung! What is this? You couldn’t just have been a bit more civil!” You scoffed out.

Taehyung just laughed lowly to himself, clasping his hands behind his back and seductively licking his lips. You just gulped down saliva.

Taehyung walked slowly to your seated self, walking around you like you were some prey and he was the predator, he was wrong though you were both predators.

Taehyung was dressed in a black suit (typical for hells “dress code”). It fitted his body nicely showing off his well fit body, well the person’s body who he stole it from. He had some nice biceps, a tiny waist coming down into a nice looking butt (which you weren’t looking at), he had some nice thick thighs. His feet were covered in classy men’s dress shoes. His hands had veins visible, and his fingers were slender covered in rings. His face was so handsome, that you don’t even know if you can describe his features.

Taehyung stopped in front of you after he circled you twice. His eyes just ran up and down your body, causing a slight shiver. You saw him smirk at your action so you just stared into his eyes, showing you won’t yield to him. He decided to be the first to talk.

“So, how are your little friends?” Taehyung asked in his deep voice.

You just squint your eyes at his, wondering what he wants from you. You actually have a question for him.

“They are doing fine, I’ve kept them safe from you.” you smirked.

Taehyung just rolled his eyes and signed. You just kept your eyes on him wondering what his next step is going to be.

“So your friends don’t know what's coming then?”

“What do you mean ‘what's coming’?” you just raised your brows in question.

Taehyung lifted his head, causing his eyes to look down at you making it seem like he was superior to you. He stepped closer to you, towering over your sitting figure. His slender fingers brushed against your cheeks softly, throwing you off guard. Taehyung laughed to himself, cocking his head slightly to the left.

“Aren’t you a beautiful little thing. A beautiful, delicate girl on the outside, but on the inside you are a powerful angel from heaven able to kill anyone who gets in your way. Yet when you are given any type of physical affection it throws you off, causing your wall to crumble just a tiny bit. You probably need to work on that, maybe get one of your boys to help you.” Taehyung laughed in your face.

“You leave those boys allowed. I’ll kill you if you even touch one hair on their heads.” You sneared.

Taehyung stepped back smirking to himself. You just wanted to smack him so hard in the face, he won’t be able to feel anything for a few hours.

“Well, knowing how you feel about those boys, maybe I should just send some minions after them. See if they can cause any damage to their pretty faces. We’ll see what you’ll do after.”

With that Taehyung just backed further away from you and disappeared.

Muir Woods National Monument: San Francisco, CA

“Well it doesn’t seem like there is a whole lot of ‘coyote’ active as the newspaper advertised.” Seokjin just mumbled to himself after he and Jungkook left the rangers office to try and see what they were working with, it looked like not a whole lot.

“Well maybe we should go ask the person who was attacked, they did end up in the hospital so they could have gotten some cuts if it was an actual werewolf.” Jungkook tried to reason as they got to the impala and hopped in to drive to the hospital.

They got to the hospital and went to go see the patient to try and get an understanding of their injuries. When they saw them they looked scared, but not like a werewolf had done it.

“Hello sir, we are national rangers over at Muir Woods monument and just wanted to ask you some questions about your incident in our parks.” Seokjin told the victim as he and Jungkook showed some type of ids to the person. They just nodded their heads and answered their questions.

“I was camping and decided to go for a little hike. As I was walking I saw something in the distance, and I didn’t want to find out what it was because you know horror movie people always make the dumb decisions. Well as I was walking back someone just suddenly popped up in front of me out of nowhere! Then they just grabbed me and started to claw at my body. I was screaming as loud as I could hoping that someone would be able to hear me, a ranger or just a random passerby, then when they threw onto the ground after they were done they did the weirdest thing. They grabbed my phone and called 911 then hung up and then when they threw my phone on the ground they crouched down beside my head and leaned down toward my ear. They whispered like they were telling me a secret.”

“Well what did they say?” Jungkook asked puzzled.

“They said, ‘tell the Kim’s that I have their little angel and to call them for information’.” The victim ended their retelling of their attack.

Jungkook just looked at Seokjin and saw that he shared the same look of worry on his face as he was sure that Jungkook had on his.

“Thank you sir, that will be all. We hope for a fast recovery.” Seokjin said cooly and bowed to the person showing their respects. Jungkook followed Seokjin and bowed as well, leaving the room.

Seokjin and Jungkook just walked through the corridors of the hospital in silence deciding what their next move should be. Their steps slowed when they got to the impala, just stopping at their doors, tapping the roof with their knuckles and fingers nails.

“Okay, so who do we call then?”

“Ghostbusters, Jungkook thats who.” Seokjin replied with little sarcasm in his tone.

Jungkook just threw is hands up into the air while rolling his eyes away from his brother.

“Some random monster has (Y/n), can you try and take this a bit more serious Hyung!” Jungkook yelled to his brother, causing Seokjin to raise his eyebrows at his younger.

“Jungkook of course I’m taking this serious. You know I care about (Y/n) too, but you obviously care for her for a different reason.” Seokjin spoke slowly as he was putting the information together in his head.

Jungkook just kept his head turned towards the floor of the hospital parking lot running his hands through his hair. Seokjin just laughed quietly to himself, turning his head up towards the sky remembering something you said to them in the past-

“If you ever need me and you haven’t seen me in a while, just pray to me. I’ll get your message.” you said to the boys with a smile on your lips and then you just- left.

Seokjin decided to give it a try even if he wouldn’t be able to get any response from you, but he just wanted to make sure you knew that they were okay and they were going to find you.

#spnau #spuernaturalau #jeon jungkook #kim seokjin #BTS #kim namjoon #min yoongi #jung hoseok #kim taehyung #park jimin #reader insert #jungkook x reader #bts imagine #fanfiction #im only using the boys names and features #we not delulu over here

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luna-paradoxz · 5 years

Text

Pride and Love

Summary - When Morgan was called to another world he received hope again but only to fall into the despair once again. Maybe he was not destined to have a happy ending.

A/N - If you want to support me buy me a Ko-fi or you can commission me.

Lucina panted as she rested her training sword and put it in the training rack and pulled up her towel as she wiped her face from sweat, drank a bit of water and wiped her mouth. She looked around, the morning daylight and the fresh air felt good and the day was beautiful making her feel at peace. The silence of the usual bustling camp added to the peace, everyone except her had left to enjoy today since this was the only rest day they had before they departed for Ylisse tomorrow. Everyone had decided to spend it with their loved ones, and family since once they are back they are going to fight another war, a war far worse than the one they just fought. She was asked by her parents to spend a day out with family but she had declined to ask them to instead spend time together as since the war started they both had hardly got any chance to spent time alone in peace with no burdens on them, they were a bit reluctant but their children convinced them that they must not stay and go and enjoy themselves. Her sibling left with their friends, she, on the other hand, stayed back on the pretence of practising but really, she wanted to think alone for a bit, and she was avoiding a certain someone.

She frowned, things had cleared between her and Inigo but still she has been ignoring him, it's not that she hates him or is angry with him. She just can't stay too close to him or she won't be able to control herself. She, after realising what he meant by showing emotions affects others, she had realized that somewhere she cared more about his feelings more than others. It's not like she never noticed she had a bit of attraction to him but she always thought it was just a teenage crush or attraction but after that incident she had noticed how she cares so much about how he feels, how he is, how he thinks about her and how she has started desiring more from their relationship. She has also noticed the slight itch in her to punch him or push a woman away from him whenever he goes and flirts with someone in their camp or outside, that was also one of the reasons she didn't go, she was sure someone, especially one of the girls would notice if she started glaring at all the women around them, if they have already not noticed.

And it's not liked the feeling scared her, so she was avoiding him, they did, a bit no, quite but that was not the main reason. She just couldn't bring herself to think about him or them like that and it's not because she is a princess but because she cannot hope him to love her. Because one day she is going to make a decision he will hate her for, if he already doesn't, because he knows, he of all people knows what she plans to do when it becomes certain that their suspicions were true. So, she can't ask him to love her, she cants ask him to give her love when she is going to take his family away from him.

Her face scrunched up as she tried hard to not cry as she gripped her bottle harder and told herself, again, 'I am the princess this is my duty.' She knew she of all people can neither dream nor be selfish. She has too many lives riding on her to do that.

(But she wishes she could do that.)

"You don't have to do it alone. You have friends ready to aid you against whatever you face. And your father has an entire army ready to fight and die for him. ...And you also have me, for whatever that may be worth."

She still could hear Robin's words ring in her head. She had not expected him to grow to care for her so much in little time they had known each other and the fact she rarely talked to him. She always kept her distance from him telling herself to not get too attached to him or it will become only that hard for her when the time comes. And whenever they did speak, she always spoke to him formally, making it clear she didn't want to get familiar with him, he of all people must have picked it, he was not her father after all. But, still, he cares about her enough to promise he will support her, fight alongside her, swear his sword to her. She knew his true fealty lied with her father but still to hear him so seriously tell her he wants to support her made her realise that this man didn't care if she was staying away from him or treated him coldly, he cared for her all the same, just like how he must care for the little Lucina back in the castle. It hurt, more than she wanted to accept.

She didn't deserve this kind of loyalty, this kind of kindness from him, especially when considering what she might do. She bit her lip as she tried hard to steal her heart again and tell herself that she must do it, she was the crown princess she must do it. Sighing, she got up and left her tent and walked to wood, maybe some night air will soothe her heart. She hears voices and immediately hides and peeks from behind the tree and gasps silently. There were a family of four all smiling as the two sat down on a nearby log and the other two stood practising their dance. Robin clapped as he complimented Morgan who shyly, blushed and scratched her neck, grinning. Inigo said something, it was too far for her to hear, and the girl looked up positively beaming as her grin stretched wider, if possible. Olivia chuckled and then patted her head as she said something too and the girl flushes but nods looking determined now. Then they took positions again and Olivia puts her hand up, slowly twists, twirls and completed the step with a jump. Morgan, determined copies it, she puts her hand up, twists less slowly, and twirls a bit clumsily and then she jumped too but landed a bit off. She flushed and looked disappointed, but Inigo again said something, and she nodded, looking determined again. The routine counited for few minutes and then even Inigo joined them, probably unable to control himself anymore and danced freely, a bit slowly, to demonstrate the steps to Morgan. She felt her throat constrict and her previous guilt burns again.

The family looked so happy. Even though all they were doing was dancing around, still they seemed that they felt the happiest for doing such a simple thing.

She was going to break this family up.

(She hated herself.)

She got up ready to leave, but she stepped on a branch and all of them tensed as Robin got up and pointed his trusty tome at her direction, she promptly came out looking sheepish as she avoided their eyes and looked down. All three dancers flushed as Robin just blinked and then laughed.

"Lucina, what are you doing so late up?"

She flushed a bit, "I am sorry I didn't mean to spy, I just came out for some fresh air and came upon on all of you. I was going to leave."

He chuckled as he shakes his hand, "No worries Lucina, we don't mind right guys?"

Both dancers and dancer in training flushed but sheepishly nodded and that only made Robin grin brighter as he turned to her again, "And how did you find Morgan's dance do you think she is getting there?" He asked lightly.

She smiled as she looked at the girl and nodded, "Yes I quite liked it. It was good Morgan."

The girl smiled sheepishly as she rubbed her neck again, "Thanks Lucina I am trying, though I am still nowhere near Mother and Brother."

"It's ok Morgan you forget after all it can't be helped. You will learn all soon enough." Inigo cheered her up and she nodded back.

"Yes, I remember you were quite a good dancer yourself. I am sure you will re-learn it quite easily."

The girl flushed again as she looked down and twisted her hands together, "Thanks." She said, lowly and two of them smiled wide at her. At times like this, it was quite clear Morgan did get some things from her mother other than her hair colour.

Robin smiles, gently as he suggests, "Lucina now that you are here why don't you stay?"

Her heart pricks, as she looks down, and tries to smile as she slightly shakes her head, "Thank you Robin-san for the invitation but I must go and sleep." She hopes they don't catch on but still she doesn't wait for the persuasion to come and turns away to leave.

She doesn't catch on the pained look on Inigo and worried look on Robin.

They all were back in Ylisse and coming back home after so long filled her up with so much happiness that she had to pull herself aside so that she can stop herself from crying, it was not just her who was happy to be back home, finally, all her friends were. She could see it on their faces, some of them didn't cry but they were happy. The city which was ablaze the day before they left was now bright, happy and everyone alive in it. All her people alive in it. She was so, so happy. Her parents gave them permission to go around and see the city and everything as much as they like, they didn't need to do any work today. At first, she had refused saying she will join them for council but her father put a hand on her head, patted and smiled proudly as he repeated that it was her day off and she must rest. After that, even she couldn't reject him. So, rest she did. First, she went around the castle checking out all the rooms and the areas. It filled her heart up and then she finally headed to her room. There was her mother slowly cooing at her baby self, and after she announced her presence shyly, she laughed and then beckoned her to show her, herself. It was embarrassing and awkward but when she held herself, the same blue eyes stared right back at her, and then she laughed as her tears fell. She was truly a beautiful baby. After that, she went and joined her friends to explore the city. They went around a lot of places, places familiar to them and not so familiar to them. After the sun had fallen they all went back to the garrison, but she could none of them wanted to just sleep yet, but sadly they all were tired and needed to, so they all turned in for the night.

But she couldn't sleep, for whatever reason, she just couldn't. Her body was tired, but her mind was racing. So, she got up and decided to take a walk out to clear her head and hopefully go back to sleep, Déjà vu, was only hitting when she walked out and saw Robin sitting out on the garden stone ledge reading something with a lamp on. She felt a bit bad but cleared her throat to announce her presence. He looked up and then grinned as he closed his book and patted the seat beside him, she promptly took it.

"Can't sleep again?" He teased her and she flushed as she nodded.

"It is just coming back home after so long has filled me up with excitement I guess."

He smiled, a bit lightly, "I can understand it has been quite a log for us too. It might not be the same per se but even I felt quite good to be back home."

She smiled, slightly as she crossed her legs, wrapped her hands around them and looked up. "Yes, it is really good to be back home."

"Then, I am glad we could bring all of you back home."

She smiled at him, thankfully, "Thank you Robin-san."

He nodded and they both just stared at the night sky for a bit when she decided to breach another topic.

"Robin-san can I ask you something?"

"Yes surely,"

"How…how did you make those decisions?" She asked, a bit scared.

"Decisions? You mean at the war?" He asked confused.

She nodded, "Yes at the war, when you made those decisions to burn down our fleet or to climb the volcano. How did you make those?"

He was still confused, "Well, I won't say it was easy and was quite risky but that was our best move at that time."

She slowly shook her head, that was right but that was not what she was asking. "Yes, and I am thankful for your good thinking but what I want to know is how were you able to get yourself to make such a hard decision?"

He still doesn't understand what exactly she was asking, "Lucina is there something specific you want to know about the plans or are you asking something else?"

She lightly bit her lip, how does she word it, "Yes what I am trying to ask is, well, do you remember that day when Lady Emmeryn was to be executed?"

He flinched but nodded, nonetheless. That would be the day, no matter how much time has passed, still make his heart clench and be stabbed.

She grimaced a bit, "That day just after Aversa had foiled your plan, you had said something to father. I remember you asked father to sacrifice Lady Emmeryn and to run away with the shepherds. I want to ask how you were able to do that?"

He looked, down as his face darkened, now he knew what exactly she was talking about. "That day, we were surrounded. There were 14 of us shepherds and 15 of Feroxian including Basilio and Flavia. We were all surrounded by more than 20 men and my best strategy was foiled just like that. I had no other strategies left other than choosing one side. Giving up the national treasure would be the same as giving up our nation to Gangrel, and there was no guarantee he will keep his word and not attack any of us. It was choosing between which one had the most necessary. Chrom, Lissa, Basilio, Flavia and fire emblem were the ones we had on one side, on the other was Emmeryn. As a tactician, I am supposed to choose the side with most probability, so I made my choice."

She looked down, as pain struck her, "I can't imagine how much strength it must have taken to make that choice."

He smiles painfully as he looks up again, "Yes it was a hard choice and the consequences were many, but I knew I need to save them even if they hate me, even if they kill me, I needed to make sure Chrom and Lissa also won't become victims of the war," He sighed, "But in the end, even that was not needed. Lady Emmeryn saved us all from that heartache and made the choice herself. More than me I think it was her how held enough strength. I don't think so anyone else could be so benevolent or strong as her."

She could hear the pride and guilt in his voice and she only felt the respect for this man to grow, for her aunt to grow, she really wished she had met her once more. That she could talk properly to her once.

(She knew it was a fool wish, but she wanted to have the aunt that was called the holy queen by all.)

"I am sorry if only I had been there then things wouldn't have ended up like that."

He shakes his head, as he put a hand on her head, "Its not your fault Lucina. No one could have predicted it would end up like that. And there is no guarantee you could have changed it." He pats her.

She doesn't say anything, but she whispers in her heart, that it was not acceptable her relaxing like this, it had cost them Emmeryn and so many other lives. She could have prevented it all, no she was supposed to prevent it and yet she had failed. But this time she won't fail, no matter what, she won't.

He looks at her as her eyes harden in determination and he wishes he could ask her what exactly she was strengthening herself to do but he knew he can't. And yet he worries for her because for him she is still the little baby Chrom had cried when he first saw and then with tears streaming down his face, he proudly showed her to him. A little light of happiness born in the country that was ridden with the pain of loss. He can't let anything happen to her, that's what he had promised to Chrom, to always protect and guide her. Even if she is from the future the oath still held, he was sure his future self-had made the same oath.

"Lucina, I know you have your secrets but I do not want to see you hurt yourself. You have me and all of us and we will support you the best way we can." He smiles, reassuringly, give her strength and she was reminded of her past when he would promise her the same thing when he would leave with her father, only to never come back. She bites her lip and nods.

"Thank you, Robin-san." She says nonetheless as she smiles back at him.

She prays to Naga as they leave for Pelgia, to give her strength, to make a decision that will be the hardest in her life.

(She wonders if he will hate her if that day comes, she hopes he will.)

Robin with a pained look looks down as Chrom informs all the shepherds about what happened. She puts a hand on her falchion and with a blank look stares at everyone's reaction not understanding the full consequences this event has brought. But Inigo understands as he turns, with a pained look, their eyes meet and she turns not able to stare at it any longer. She then walks away, and she knows he is still going to come as his long legs catch up to her faster and he holds her arm to stop her. She does not turn knowing her resolve won't hold up if she looks at his face.

"Lucina, please." He pleads, his voice pained and broken, and she feels her heartbreak and grows more dead.

"I am sorry." And with that she shakes her hand away and takes a step, halting, as she waits for him to call out again.

His heart pains, as she doesn't turn, and when she shakes her hand away, his chest stabs as he goes to plead again but then he remembers and let his hands fall as he stands there and when she starts to walk away, he just stares at her back and hates himself. She understands, a bit glad, and then walks away.

And then he hears her voice as Morgan suddenly comes to him and asks in a worried voice if he is ok, because without him noticing he had started crying because even he right now can't smile. Morgan frowns but he digs his nails in his palm as he puts his head down and he apologises to her, to his only sister,

"I am sorry Morgan. I can't stop her, I can't stop Lucina. As the ones who came to the past to save the world, I don't have the right to be selfish. I am sorry Morgan."

She just frowns, "Brother what's wrong? What happened?"

But he couldn't answer because what was he going to say his sister to who her father was her whole world.

Chrom walks there wanting to talk to Robin more for tomorrow when he sees Inigo and Morgan, one crying and the other totally confused and worried. He then turns to see his daughter with a grave face calling out Robin and asking him to come somewhere aside. He is not the best at reading the situations but he knows right there that something is wrong and his daughter is up to no good. He decides to follow the two. They go to a clearing far away from camp, he hides behind a tree and then Lucina starts telling him about him, about her memories with him before he died. Robin smiles a bit, a bit sad,

"I can see that you love him very much."

She pains as she looks down looking bleak as she steels herself, "Yes I do. And that's why I must save him, I must save the world that will be thrust to a bleak future on his death. As the crown princess, I must."

She pulls out her Falchion and points at it. She can feel her own father's soul screaming at her, but she ignores it.

"I am sorry Robin…. please forgive me."

He gasps as he takes a step back and exclaims, "Lucina!?"

She frowns, but she was determined, she will carry out her duty no matter who hates her, "Stay where you are, I have no choice. I must kill you."

"What!? What madness is this!?" He demands.

She made this decision, "In my future you, you murdered my father."

He stares, eyes wide, disbelief, " No! That's insane, I won't kill Chrom." Chrom's eyes widen but he makes no noise, he can't come out now. But he doesn't believe, even if it's true he won't believe.

Her heart stabs, but she is the princess, "Up until now there was no proof. I was told that father was betrayed by his most trusted companion. Having witnessed your bond with him in this world, I doubted it could be you. But after seeing today's events I know. You can't resist Validar's control. And he must have made you kill father, in my world. And soon enough you will kill him in this world also."

He stares disbelief, his heart cant believes what the girl is saying, it's just not possible but today he had…

"I.." is all he can say, because really what could he say?

Chrom feels his heartbreak as he looks down at falchion but he knows if its Robin then, he can believe and forgive him.

She can't let her heart waver. "To change the destiny, to make sure this world doesn't fall in the same despair that mine has fallen into, I must do this. Sacrifices must be made and only I can, only I can do it. That's why as the crown princess, no as the Exalt I must do this."

"Lucina, you don't have to - "

No, she must bear this weight, only she, "Don't make it harder! I will give you a swift and painless death. If you hold any love for father, then please let this be done…."

He frowns, he wants to live, he knows it's selfish but he wants to but he knows if this will lead to everyone happiness. If he can save Chrom this way then. Compared to the lives of thousands, one person, any one person is weightless.

He smiles sadly, "Understood Lucina. I shall forfeit my life."

She feels her heartbreak more, "Why are you looking at me with such a kind smile? I am doing this for father, for the world but still, I am killing you, Robin." 'I am killing Olivia's husband, Inigo's and Morgan's father.'

He chuckles slightly, "If I die here it will save Chrom right? It will save everyone and you all can live happily right? Then I will give my life willingly."

She can't cry, she doesn't have the right to cry. (But she wants to, desperately)

"But before you kill me, Lucina, can I give you my last message?"

She just silently nods, she kills herself too. (She just wishes she could be selfish.)

"Then could you please tell Chrom to not get too angry with you. I know he doesn't want to sacrifice anyone but sometimes one must make the right decision. Tell him that, tell him that I said you made the right decision. And tell him - thank you for giving me this life, with so many precious people and so many precious memories."

Chrom feels his eyes burn and wants to go hit him, for saying such things but he practices patience. He knows he needs to stop his daughter, not beat sense in Robin. He will do that later.

Her face goes more blank, as her heart dies. (She wishes she could hope for a perfect future.)

"Tell Morgan that she will become the very first taction and dancer. Tell her she is an as wonderful dancer like her mother and brother and she is as genius taction as her father. Tell her I won't tolerate any head-bashings and to always be careful and live a happy life. Tell her I will always be looking at her. Tell her I love her."

She records every single word because she must deliver them word to word. (But she wishes she never made him say all this.)

"Tell Inigo that he must be proud of himself, of his dancing and his tactical skills. Tell him he will definitely become the first male dancer, I guarantee it. Tell him he must moderately go behind a woman and he can show weakness. Tell him I will always be proud of him and love him. And tell him he can forgive you."

She silently apologises to both of them, she can't say the last part, she doesn't have the right to say that. (But maybe in another life she can hope that.)

"And tell Olivia I love her and my last wish is for her to find someone better for her, I don't want her to be alone. I want her to be happy."

She silently promises she won't ever leave their side until they start smiling again even if it means she must spend rest of her days to make sure of that. (But she wishes she never had to take that smile from them.)

He takes a deep breathe, open his arms and nods, "I am ready Lucina do what you must."

She nods, but her handshakes and she repeats again 'I am the exalt this is my duty.' She puts her another hand on it and wills herself to stay stronger. This sword will be all she has now.

She takes a step forward. He smiles sadly, he doesn't say it but he has many regrets but his biggest regret is that he is forcing Lucina to bear this weight but he knows as the exalt she must do this, he can at least lessen it by being willing. He hopes, as her godfather, she will also find happiness after this war ends.

"Thank you, Lucina." He whispers.

And she looks up as she hearts breaking, crying, looks at him in his eyes, so desperate and yet so resolute. She was indeed a strong child, just like the heroes of the past.

She grips her hilt and runs, ready to strike at his heart –

"Enough!" her father screams, startling her, making her stop. He runs up to them glaring at her as he jumps in front of him and pushes her sword back with his.

"Lucina, lower your sword."

She can't, not even for him, "Father I can't- "

He glares, as he growls out, "Lucina lower your sword." He orders her and she feels shivers run down and reluctantly lowers it. He doesn't.

"I can explain, father." She says.

He sighs and shakes his head, his throat clenched but he carries, he was her father. "There is no need. You are not the only one who can eavesdrop. I heard every word."

They flinch and Robin steps to pacify him but Chrom lowers his sword on his own.

"Lucina I know your heart is in the right place but I trust Robin. You can't shake my faith in him."

She flinches, her heartbreaking, asking silently, how can he. Robin stares in disbelief, torn between scolding him again, and asking him how he does it.

"This is not about trust! He will be made to kill you!" She angrily screams, frustrated like a child who is not being understood.

He sheathes his sword and shakes his head. "That might be the case but Robin and I have held fast through good times and ill times. We swore to be two halves of a greater whole. That bond can't be severed, I believe in those bonds more than some 'destiny'."

She frowns, why, "Father…" 'Can't you see, even I want to believe in those. But,'

"It's easy for you to say father you haven't seen the future, the despair, the pain, the loss."

They both feel pained, but he held fast, if he doesn't hold on to his beliefs then what kind of man is, he? "Lucina aren't our ties stronger here than in the future?"

She looks up and so does he, where was he going with that.

"You and I share a bond here Lucina. In future, you and the other children were just kids. But in this world, you fight alongside us. That by itself means you have changed the destiny."

She feels like she was slapped, something so obvious, it can't be true, yet it was true. They went blindly in all their fights, they didn't have thirteen kids fighting beside them. It's so painfully obvious, so unbelievable but the future did change. How blind was she?

Robin gasps, of all people to think Chrom, would say something so sensible and meaningful, something so obvious that none of them had realised. He didn't realise. He was a fool, he was supposed to take action and yet this time Chrom was the voice of reason.

"I understand father…I still can't fully give up but now I want to believe that what you say is true. That you will prove me wrong and our bonds won't fall to pieces."

Her heart hurts and yet she feels like she has lost something and yet he knows she has given up. But she really hasn't, and Robin realises that.

"Yes, Lucina we will change the future." He promises, ever confident.

She then turns to Robin as she sheathes her sword too, "I can't ask you for forgiveness, but I will believe in you this time."

He smiles, "I do forgive you, Lucina. You need not speak of it again."

A silence falls and knowing it's over both men turn to leave but she stays still, and Chrom looks at her, "Lucina?"

"I would like to be here for some time more, I will return to camp in a bit."

They want to say something but decide to give the girl her time and decided to leave. At the exit of the forest both of his children stood, Inigo, looking broken and crying while Morgan was asking him his reason and trying to console while looking utterly confused. He feels his heartbreak, 'Inigo knew about it. Well, I am not surprised, they all are quite close.' He thinks, and then turns to Chrom and nods who sighs and then leaves with one last message of coming to the war tent afterwards, he sweats drops knowing well he was going to get scolded. He walks to them and they both look up, noticing him there, Inigo gasps and Morgan runs to him,

"Father, brother is acting very weird. He won't tell me anything and keeps crying. Please do something." She complains, pouting and he chuckles as he pats her head and she immediately loses her frown.

"I got it, Morgan, I will do something why don't you return to your work?" He tells her, she looks a bit worried, but she is confident in her father, so she leaves. He then steps to his son who turns down looking guilty and he sighs as he pats his head too. He looks up, eyes tearing up as he breaks down,

"I am so sorry father. I wanted to stop her, but I- I alone couldn't be selfish."

He smiles, understandingly, as he pates him more, "It's ok Inigo I am not angry at you." He tears up more and hugs him as he buries his face in his neck and repeats his apologies. He rubs his back to show he doesn't mind and comforts him. After a minute or two, he lets go and takes a step back as he now looks confused, obviously not expecting Lucina to let it go so easily.

"Lucina?" He asks.

"Chrom stopped her and right now she is still in the clearing. I am sure she needs time after everything."

"Oh," He says, torn between going to comfort her or staying here with his father, who he had almost lost.

His father grins, "Why don't you go and talk to her. At times like these is when she needs someone who will support her. I have to go and talk to Chrom and all about tomorrow."

He lifts as he nods as he hugs him last time, "Thank you, father." And with that, he walks away. Robin sees him go then braces himself as he himself heads to war tent knowing a very angry Chrom is waiting for him there.

Inigo walks up to the clearing and sees her staring at the sunset, as she still clutches tightly onto the falchion and he knows she is still regretting it and thinking she should have done her duty, even though she chooses not to. He clears his throat to catch her attention, as she turns and meets his eyes. Her blue eyes swirling with guilt and pain as she looks back at him with a question, he knew she doesn't want to hear the answer to. He still draws goes closer as she loses her grip on the sword and looks down, so small so defeated he hasn't since her like this since she had lost her parents. He sighs and then stands in front of her,

"Lucina," he whispers gently, carefully, and she bites her lip as they quiver as she refuses to look up and he sighs again.

"Lucina." He tries again, a bit more sternly but his voice is still gentle and this time she slightly tilts her head, not meeting his eyes but at least now she was ready to listen to him rather than wallow in her own thoughts.

"None of us hate you. We all knew what you did was right, it was something we knew had to happen," She still doesn't move but he continues, "You were the exalt, you needed to keep all of us safe. Sacrifices needed to be made."

She glares at the ground, she always told herself that and yet she had given in her selfishness in the end anyway. His eyes drop as he understands, "But you are also you, the girl Lucina, who enjoyed studying magic from her godfather. Who loved and cared about her most favourite uncle? A girl who is so strong and yet gentle and kind. You are an exalt but you are also Lucina." He gently says, the words she didn't want to hear.

She feels the pain crashing in her heart as she looks up and starts hitting him on his chest as she glares at him. Why did he have to say it? Why did he have to say she was weak? Even though all her life she has tried to be strong, and yet it all failed and at the most important point her heart came rushing, rearing it's ugly head and taking away all the strength she had built for so many years.

"Inigo, I failed them, I failed everyone in our world. I was not supposed to, and yet I-" She almost screams, and he stares back hard unrelenting as he lets her punch him thrice and then stops her, because she was not holding back, and then takes her hand pulls it down, squeezing it as he tries to relax her.

"You didn't fail them. No one would hate you for the decision you made." He is staring, with stern faith as he says those words, and she almost flatters but stands again.

"No no, I did! What if the father dies after all, what is Grima rises again and then they all will-everyone will die again and this time no one will be left to save them. I was supposed to -" He tightens his hold on her hand as he cuts her off, no longer able to be patient as she keeps repeating the punishment on herself. He glares at her as he pulls her hand up and uses it to cover her mouth,

"They won't. We are here, we won't let them die again. That's what we came for in the past, to protect them and I know for sure we will do it. If it is us, we will do it." He whispers, lowly, as he tries hard to not get angry at her, she stares wide eyes, in shock and worry as he continues, "Lucina stop shouldering everything by yourself. You are not alone, you never were, and you never will be. I won't let it happen, we won't let it happen so for once trust us. No matter how scary, hard and crazy it will become, trust in your shepherds, trust in our parents." He says, almost pleading and her eyes burn slightly as she feels the guilt burn in her.

She was not trying to make them feel like that, she always did everything alone because she believed she was the crown princess, so it was her duty to do it. And yet, here was Inigo, his voice pleading, his eyes soft as they ask her something, she now realizes he has been asking for years, and here he is promising her something no one ever has, she never thought anyone would. She slowly reaches up with her other hand and removes their intertwined hands, and he lets her as he waits, hoping it will finally go through her thick skull. She closes her eyes and then opens, looking up to his light brown ones and tries to smile,

"I always thought as the crown princess it was my duty to shoulder it all alone but I guess I have been too stubborn, I….I still don't know if I can let it go but I," she flatters a bit but looking at him she knows it will be fine, "This time I wish to believe thigs will be different, that we will make things different."

He smiles, happy as he squeezes her hand and beams, "It will be different I know for sure."

She smiles a bit wider and hopes she will have the same faith as him. The silence falls on them as they both let their thoughts catch up and then she notices their hands a bit more consciously and flushes a bit as she takes a step back and wonders how she should get him to leave. He notices her blush and grins a bit as he let her hand go, albeit a bit slow to see her blush brighten and then takes a step back too as he looks at her and she knows he is waiting to see her take her first step again. And this time, she decided she won't take it without him.

She smiles at him and then turns, and glances back, and he gets it as his eyes widen and then lit up as he falls beside her and they both walk back to the camp.

She is standing in the temple, where her father had once died, where her father could die again. She clutches Falchion tightly and asks her own father to give her strength, for them to overcome this day. A few feet away both her father and Robin stands, talking as his father frowns but then nods, with a displeased and yet resolute face. She doesn't need to eavesdrop to know what Robin has asked of her father. Inigo is few feet away, is paired up with Severa as he practices his swings a bit and then says something to her as she blushes and then bites back something, it doesn't tether him though, he is used to Severa's prickliness. She looks beside her to mother, who smiles at her and then asks her if she is ready. She nods and she pats her head as she gives a confident smile and then takes her position.

The fight starts with them separated and by the time she cuts through the grimleal and comes in the front, her father has already fallen and she can hear the scream ringing in her as she falls to her legs, as he father lays in front of her. She feels herself breaking, her strength and hope breaking and just as she was to lose all of them away, Basilio comes in with loud booming voice and flying axes as he grins and wakes her up. The plan is revealed fast, way faster than she can catch up and before she knows her father and Robin are pushing past her as they rush for Validar once again and her legs follow them automatically. Before she realizes she is standing in front of the vile man and with no hesitation she pushes forward and stabs him in the heart, twists it, and pull it out roughly as she lets him fall and choke on his own blood as he losses his life. She feels a relief flood in her as she finally took the revenge she has wished for since the day she had lost her father. Everyone starts cheering as they think the end is here, she turns to a smile blooming but then her blood runs cold as bloody red eyes stare back at her and she remembers, because she has never forgotten, he was here.

Everything that happens after that makes them all numb their mind, but survival and adrenaline pump in them as they all escape and see the dragon resurrect and she feels her heart growing heavy as she stares at its massive, familiar figure,

And whispers, "Is my future never going to change?" No one answers her, instead, her father takes her hand and pulls her as they run, away from the dragon, away from their despair and away from their fate. They all run and before they realize they all have decided and headed to mount prims. She never puts down falchion and she sees none of the kids letting go of their weapons as their smiles get strained, and their eyes darken.

Robin was able to save the fire emblem, even under that destruction and now they have another chance as her father goes to call on Naga and they all stay back. She silently prays with her family that her father passes the trail, though she knows in her heart, if anyone will pass it, it will be him. He does but with new power comes another hard truth and she knows Robin's decision even before her father says anything, and when he lies, she doesn't hate him for it, because she understands, if someone does it is her. That night she finds Inigo dancing in the clearing near the camp and she just stares knowing, he needs this, right now and then a noise comes and she turns to see Morgan with her eyes bloodshot red as she walks up to her brother, hugging him, and asking him something no one can give her. He does hug her and promises her he will stay beside her, always. And then he looks at her, broken and yet strong and she knows he won't cry, yet. And when he does, she silently promises him, she will be there for him and with that, she walks away.

Olivia glares at him, for the very first time, as he walks in their tent and he knows, she doesn't believe him, and he smiles bitterly. She gets up, her eyes slightly tearing as she walks up to him but doesn't say anything, a minute passes as they stare in each other, and then she lets her tears fall and he feels his heartbreak.

"Do you have to?" She only asks and he knows she is not letting herself say anything because she is kind and loving like that and he only hates himself to make her go through all this. She should not have married a man like him.

"I am sorry." Is all he can say and she falls on him as she clutches to him, desperately, almost pleading but she doesn't say anything as she only hugs him tighter as if she is trying to burn everything in her memory. But he can't bring himself to hug her back. She, but looks up and then kisses him, fervently, desperately as she wraps her hands around his neck and he can't stop himself as he kisses her back too, with same fever and with same desperation as he wraps his hands around her figure and when she guides him to their cot, he doesn't stop her or himself, because really he still loves her.

Robin pushes Chrom away, he falls and stares at him in betrayal as he smiles sadly and then runs to his other self. He is down, groaning and glaring as he stares at him in confusion.

"For once I am glad you and I are the same." He says almost biting and sarcastic as he chants his spell, the familiar flame of Ignis lighting up in him, and he chuckles silently, it took him so long to realize where Ignis' flames came from.

"Now I can give my life to protect my loved ones," he says, glad and regretful and recognition lights in the red eyes and he glares as he tries to stand up but the cuts from falchion don't heal and burn.

"You won't dare!" he shouts but he scoffs, where does he even get that idea, what a fool, even though he is supposed to be a god.

"I would and I will. The evils you would visit on this world are unthinkable... In some way, I—we share the blame. It's only right we meet our end together!" He screams as he runs, thoron sparking in his hand and he laughs sarcastically as the dragon finally feels fear.

"No!" He screams but he will never stop, even when he heard Chrom scream, he strikes him in his heart and he grunts as he falls back and then, his chest burns too, and he feels his step falter. Grima curses and screams and he can hear everyone screaming and running toward them. And then his children shout, crying, and he feels his heartbreak but then he notices Grima's face softening, as he looks behind him,

"I am sorry Inigo, Morgan." He whispers, almost regretfully, almost lovingly and then turns to dust as he vanishes. He falls now, slowly his body is going to cold, but he wills himself to tun and they tackle him as all of his family hug him tightly, not wanting to let go as they cry and beg him to stay and he smiles, his heart bursting in happiness and pain as he smiles. He knows it's wrong to think this, but he thinks he is a very lucky man to have such a loving family, who loves a man like him so much even till the bitter end. He looks down at them and tries to hug them, but his hands are fading,

"Thank you, Olivia, for everything, for giving me such a loving family and I am sorry I was so selfish, please just promise me you will find happiness." His wife shakes her head and he smiles bitterly, she was so stubborn.

"Inigo, I love you and will always look after you. Become the best dancer ever and look after your mom and Morgan ok?" His son nods fervently as he cries and he smiles sadly, he finally saw his son cry so openly.

"Morgan, look at me," she does, "I love you and will always love you and I know for sure you will become a taction, greater than me and a dancer beautiful like your mother. Be happy, love." He says, and she breaks down as she cries harder, he can't wipe her tears away anymore.

He turns to his best friend, his saviour as he looks at him with desperation and pain and he smiles back apologetic, he coughs and then whispers, "Thank you, Chrom. For...everything... Tell the others...my last thoughts were of them."

He is tuning dust and he knows it's goodbye, but he doesn't want to say goodbye, he wants them to hope but accept the inevitable too,

"May we meet again, in a better life." He says, smiles and turns to dust.

Lucina feels her own tears falling as she closes her eyes and stares at the sun coming up. The rise of Dawn was painted with red of sacrifice.

(But with pain, happiness comes too.)

"Hey Chrom, do you think it will okay?" A maiden asks worriedly.

"It might not be," A king says playfully.

"No," the maiden pouts.

A man wakes up. They notice.

"You woke up?" The king asks, kindly and happy,

"You ok?" The maiden asks, chuckling and eyes softening.

"If you take naps at such a place you will catch a cold." The king chides grinning, and then puts his hand out, "Can you stand?"

The man takes his hand, his own pale and plain. And he stands up and smiles and they both tear up.

"Welcome back, it is over now." The king says and the man feels his heart loosen and finally lets last of his fears go.

Robin, High Deliverer & Olivia, Shrinking Violet.

Many wrote of Robin's legendary exploits, but accounts of his origins and character varied. Scholars, poets, and bards agreed on one thing alone — he loved his wife, and his family, above all else.

A/N - Godz this was another one shot, unplanned but came out so good I can't believe myself. I wrote this while I was procrastinating on my assignments. I always thought the whole last judgement scene was lacklustre when Robin was not Lucina's mother or husband. It didn't sit right with me. I mean if Robin doesn't marry Chrom or Lucina, he/she marries someone else and they have children/ or a child and a family, in the scene they don't at all address this issue I mean I know it is for the case if by any chance they are still single but still it just feels too bland that way. So, I wrote this. I choose male Robin because other than Morgan he can be the father or the other kids and I headcanon they are aware that Lucina is going to kill the person who kills Chrom and that person is most likely Robin. Morgan I don't believe knows this because they lost their memories so that is why I chose male Robin rather than female. I believe though this scene can be applied to both of them.

And you might have noticed I changed the lines quite a bit and added some in. The whole last message was my addition but certain bits like 'why are u smiling kindly at...' was taken from the jap version of this scene. I read the translations for this scene, for mother/daughter version on youtube. And let me tell you it is 10x better than eng version it doesn't make Lucina's whole decision sound some over the protective daughter who is choosing her father over her mother. I love this scene in eng also but I love it more in Japanese. Though not the same version I am sure the more generic bits will remain same so I am sure you can apply it to this version too. Well, that's all for me.

I also have a ko-fi account by the same username and I would be really thankful if you want to support me.

If you like this story don't forget to favourite, review and/or follow.

Xoxoxo, Luna.

#My writing #fire emblem awakening #chrom #m!robin #Lucina #inigo #f!morgan #olivia #m!robin x olivia #lucina x inigo #angst with a happy ending

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impracticaldemon · 5 years

Note

What's your opinion on heichi and okichi?

Thank you for asking, Anon-san! (I’d actually been thinking about these two pairings recently). I’ve now rewritten my answer for HeiChi four times - in between drafting my new Teachings of Demons chapter - which is why I’m a few days late responding. Basically, I have mixed feelings about both OkiChi and HeiChi, but for totally different reasons. The whole response needs to be cut down more, but alas, I’m out of time! Gomenasai.

Standard disclaimer: I truly don’t mind other opinions/views on pairings, unless they’re hurtful or disrespectful. Different people like different things, and I’m good with that. I’ve written solid stories for all the original Hakuouki characters, and that’s how I show my belief that all the characters and pairings have value.

OkiChi:

Summary ~ I still don’t really ship OkiChi, because I struggle a lot with the threats and put-downs early to mid story, and because I think Souji is too emotionally invested in Kondou to be a good partner for Chizuru. The power imbalance is especially problematic in this route, because Souji deliberately points out Chizuru’s weaknesses on several occasions (for reasons - he’s a complicated guy - but still, not cool). That said, OkiChi makes for an interesting and dramatic relationship and story, and the second half of the route is rather lovely, as well as moving. A pairing where Chizuru has to provide a ton of affection/reassurance just to create the relationship - but the upside is high. Hakuouki Shinkai (KW & EB) does a better job of providing a transition/basis for Chizuru going from “I’m terrified of him” to “I love him”.

HeiChi:

Summary ~ Objectively, I see this as a cute ship, with a number of things going for it; that said, HeiChi doesn’t resonate with me personally. I like Heisuke, and I like Chizuru, but… I don’t feel the romantic chemistry. That’s probably on me, but it’s not that I haven’t thought about it. I just think Heisuke is more complicated than he appears. His gorgeous sunshine smile hides pain and indecisiveness.

Pros: Heisuke is kind to Chizuru almost from the start, he’s friendly (she needs that so much!), the power imbalance is much less, and he likes her a lot. They have more in common than the others. He clearly matures over the route. There is open love, trust, and support later in the route, and it’s very sweet. Cons: Heisuke has a lot of growing up to do, and while he’s very sincere, he’s also very self-focused (for perfectly normal reasons). His choice to go with Itou always struck me as very telling. Totally different from OkiChi, but still has a real turning point mid-game. There’s a lot going on with Heisuke, much of which conflicts with having a real awareness of Chizuru until much later (and only after being forced out of his own head a little).

[More discussion of both pairings below the cut]

My subjective opinion on OkiChi (i.e., how I react personally) is far less negative than it once was. Part of the change is getting to know so many interesting and well-spoken people who love both Souji and OkiChi (waves ♥), and part of it is that Kyoto Winds provided a slightly softer take on the initial relationship. I can write OkiChi, it just means I have to make an effort with my head-space to do it justice.

For me, OkiChi stands or falls by whether you find Souji, and Souji’s brand of teasing, to be attractive. It doesn’t work for me, because although I can see that some of what Souji does stems from genuine vulnerability - or just a sense of fun - I personally react badly to teasing of almost any kind from somebody in such an unassailable position of power. When part of that teasing involves threats of bodily harm, I kind of check out.

I’m also uncomfortable with OkiChi because Souji uses put-downs that add to Chizuru’s already significant insecurity about being a burden - he tells her to eat up “even though she’s a freeloader” who does nothing to earn her food (a big deal at the time), and he calls her “useless” more than once. This bothers me more than it does other people. Bottom line: Souji needs a lot of reassurance and no-demand affection, and Chizuru has to be very consistent and very forgiving. Her character is capable of it, and it’s not an uncommon otome set-up, but it’s not for me, and I’m not convinced that it’s good for Chizuru (in the short to medium term).

My objective opinion is that the initial part of the relationship is still highly problematic (for the reasons given above), but I can see it happening, as long as you assume a significant romantic and physical attraction on the part of Chizuru to Souji, despite his behaviour (which she describes as frightening). Once Souji starts to trust Chizuru - which is a realistically slow process, but happens reasonably early on an unconscious level - he finally starts to see her more as a person than as a threat. Eventually, he becomes genuinely devoted to her, even to the point of screwing up by not killing Kaoru when he first has the chance (with horrible results, but it shows a massive shift on Souji’s part in terms of how much he cares about Chizuru’s happiness).

I also agree with those who’ve noted that Chizuru is tremendously important to Souji / Souji’s story. His bad endings are very bad, and all too believable; Chizuru’s uncompromising, steady-as-a-rock affection and belief in Souji’s importance and good character are pretty much all Souji has to go on after Kondou-san dies. It makes the route rather different than the others, because Souji abandons the Shinsengumi completely at that point (after punching Hijikata, ofc), and makes Chizuru the focus of his actions and future plans.

Things that make Chizuru’s initial (and necessary) early crush work for me: (1) Souji is unusually attractive in a tall, well-built, emerald-eyed way, and has the classic “bad boy” charm and mischievous sense of fun; (2) Souji is an emotional guy, and I headcanon Chizuru as highly empathic - consequently, Chizuru is able to sense his carefully-hidden wounds when most don’t - this gives her the impetus to keep trying to reach out to him in the face of death threats, put-downs, and rejection; (3) Souji is interesting, and Chizuru is shown to have a lot of curiosity; (4) Chizuru is a loyal little soul, and admires loyalty - Souji’s loyalty to the Kondou-san would go a long way with her; (5) Chizuru notices the things Souji does that don’t entirely align with his “kill you any day now” rhetoric - including saving her life when she first goes on patrol with him.

So: I don’t ship OkiChi, but I mind it less now, and have some solid strengths to build on when writing.

Assuming you’re still reading… >_

HeiChi:

I have oddly mixed feelings about HeiChi. I say “oddly”, because this should be an obvious (i.e., good) ship, even aside from being a canon / main route. Short answer: HeiChi makes a lot of sense to me, and Heisuke’s a good guy, but I think this pairing is more complex and maybe a bit less perfect than it appears (which is pretty human). It’s not a personal favourite (subjectively), but they’re very sweet. ♥

Longer answer:

Heisuke is very taken with Chizuru early on, and he is the closest to her in age. [Saitō and Heisuke are both 19, but Saitō gives every impression of being at least a couple of years older.] Among the positives: Heisuke comes across as the cheerful one of the bunch, and he definitely has the most brilliant smile; he also conveys a sense of innocence and optimism. He helps Chizuru to feel less lonely. Main points: Heisuke treats Chizuru well, and looks out for her; he enjoys and seeks out her company; there is noticeably less of a power imbalance between them than with the others. Heisuke is the one who most obviously cares about protecting Chizuru’s innocence (something which he also tried to do for Ibuki Ryunosuke).

So why am I ambivalent?

[Time passes while Imp tries to write and rewrite this part of her answer.]

… Okay, here’s what I’ve got:

Heisuke lives a lot inside his head, for all that he appears to be action-oriented. He’s outwardly cheerful, but inwardly trying desperately to makes sense of his life, his feelings, and his ambitions. He can be very sweet and generous, but also very inward-looking and at times melodramatic.

Despite having some kind of romantic or affectionate feelings for Chizuru early on, Heisuke chooses to leave the Shinsengumi with Itou on a permanent basis roughly two years after Chizuru arrives. While he regrets leaving Chizuru, that regret feels very muted to me. Heisuke’s conversation with Chizuru before he leaves is mostly about himself and what he’s doing; it reflects his main preoccupation, which boils down to figuring out what’s important to him through the exercise of his own judgment.

I think the game has it right - that’s where he’s at, and staying with the Shinsengumi would be a mistake. He needs to get away from the two older “brothers” who tend not to take him seriously, and “parent” Hijikata, who ends up scolding a lot, and truly doesn’t have time to listen to his inward struggles. Heisuke only comes back to the Shinsengumi under adverse circumstances (even though he’s disenchanted with Itou after a while, he stays loyal to his choice until the next-to-last minute), and he subsequently becomes preoccupied with being a “monster”. My point is that there isn’t a lot of room for him to focus on Chizuru in there. He thinks she’s cute, and nice, and should be treated better; he worries about her, and still wants to be with her and give her what comfort he can. But his ability to fully perceive what she’s dealing with is restricted.

Ultimately, Chizuru is the one to save Heisuke, by dragging him out of his fugue and forcing him to pay attention to things outside his developing self-loathing. She slaps him because he keeps trying to make decisions for her about how she feels, and what’s best for her, and he’s still not seeing the full/real Chizuru. After that, Heisuke begins to be more thoughtful (not just affectionate), and agrees to lean on Chizuru more, which is good for both of them. Chizuru makes sure that Heisuke understands that to her he’s an important person, and somebody she relies on.

Final verdict: It’s a cute ship, with lots of potential to be very loving. It doesn’t have serious negatives, although for me it lacks something romantically for quite a long time. Heisuke struggles with a lot of insecurity, and tends to alternate between looking inward for “the answers”, and looking outward for validation. That makes him easy for many of us to relate to, but puts a lot of burden on Chizuru. Even after all of this, I don’t know what part of my reaction to HeiChi is personal bias/preferences, and what part is based on objective analysis. I do know that it’s both.

To those who have come this far, thank you for reading! I hope that I didn’t disappoint too many of you with my rambling. In my defense, my inability to keep things simple means I can write my stories from different perspectives and keep them consistent!

~ Imp

#hakuouki #heichi #okichi #little demon chats #anon asks #asked and answered #oof!

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Random Writing Tidbit I ANGST-PROOFED MY HOUSE...

... BUT IT STILL GOT IN!

I’m sorry.

I have no excuse for this other than it wouldn’t leave me alone.

This show really needs to get here, or I am just gonna end up imagine writing the whole thing before the first episode! (‘imagine writing’ is imagining a story w/out actually writing it I just made the term up it’s not an actual thing)

Kou is trying to pretend he’s not crying.

He’s not doing a very good job of it either—but if there’s one thing Touwa’s learned it’s that Kou can’t hide his emotions even if his life depends in it, so it’s no surprise, really. It’s especially obvious when he compares it to his brother’s demeanour, which he’s long been adept at reading.

But if they weren’t like that, Kou wouldn’t be Kou, and Nii-san wouldn’t be Nii-san—and he prefers them both the way they are.

Melt looks like part of him wants to cry, but the other parts are focused on staying calm.

Seems even he can’t keep a stiff upper lip at this, though he can sit and stare at a book with the same expression for hours. It’s two different things, Touwa supposes. It’s not like Melt’s emotionless or anything—though he’s sometimes confusing and says the opposite the tacit cues his behaviour gives out.

He’d once joked that maybe Melt like puzzles because he was one himself, and would still swear he’d heard RyusoulBlue laugh.

Asuna has apparently decided dignity is for the weak, and is sobbing without restraint.

She’s never been hard to read, either, but less due to being incapable of hiding her feelings and more because she’s never been afraid to, or seen any reason to do so. Asuna can be insensitive by accident, think about things in a way completely different from everyone else, and sometimes forgets her own strength—but always trustworthy and honest to the core.

He can’t understand the words she’s saying now, mostly blubbering and sniffling, but somehow, her hand motions are speaking clear as day.

No one has noticed either of them yet. His brother has propped himself up against the wall in the corner, watching the whole scene almost as impassively as usual—just with a tiny smile tugging at his frown; but Touwa can also see a slightly darker look in his eyes than usual, and his shoulders are slightly slumped. Two opposite emotions at war.

Happy they’re happy again, but also apprehensive of what else this means.

They’d known months ago. When they’d chosen to turn their backs on the village and head out on their own, they’d both been well aware it meant cutting all ties and never going back. Originally, it hadn’t been an issue—they were all each other had, there was nothing to leave behind. No regrets.

Until now.

Who asked these three to come and go and leave them like this?

Something brushes his shoulder, and he looks up to see that his brother had crossed to room to stand beside him, with his back deliberately to everyone else. He jerks his head once—indicating away. He doesn’t really say anything, not even mouthing the words, but the message is clear—one Touwa’s been dreading, even though he’s done his best to prepare for it in the past few weeks.

It’s time.

They’d known it would come to this, in the end. No matter what happened between them, what bonds they made, or how close they all became, they’d always known. It had made them still struggle to create a rift, even as it was filled in, a dark cloud over whatever other joy there was. A fear that had made him wish, just for a moment, that the fighting wouldn’t stop, could go on forever, just as long as the five of them could stay together.

But the truth had always been there, hanging unspoken in the air—very palpable to the two of them, though the others never seemed to realise.

That, one day, the those three would go somewhere they could never follow.

He meets his older brother’s eyes for a moment, then glances back at the others. He wants to say something, but he more than agrees with the decision his brother made when they sensed the moment approaching, that a clean break would be easier for all of them.

No goodbyes. Not this time.

He follows his brother in silence, slipping away into the scenery.

Eventually, though, he has to ask. “Do you think we’ll ever see them again?” The only answer is a shrug, though his brother’s eyebrows knit together a little deeper. It’s enough to make him speak again, coming slowly to a halt. “… It was nice while it lasted, though, wasn’t it? To… To have somewhere to belong again? To have… Family, again. At least for a little while?” A few paces ahead, his brother stops and looks over his shoulder. After a moment of his usual frown, he turns and walks back over.

Touwa feels an arm around his shoulders—then is pulled into his brother’s chest in a tight hug; a rare sign of affection from someone like Nii-san. He reaches up and hugs back, not wanting to waste the chance and needing the comfort.

“… Yes.” He feels his brother’s voice rumble in his chest at the same time he hears the words above him, murmured into his hair. “… It was nice.”

And once more, all they have is each other.

But this time they have to carry the memories of the ones they’re leaving behind.

AM I FIRED YET? (alternatively, Toei, hire me!)

#Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger #Random Writing Tidbit #CAN I FIRE MYSELF???#THAT'S IT #I'M FIRED #DX #I'm so sorry about this #I just #I couldn't stop thinking about it and #well #you know what happens when I can't top thinking #ANGST #I AM A MONSTER I ACCEPT THIS FATE #BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA #I need to go to bed I'm losing my mind #Birthday Sentai #Dino Dragon Knights And Their Cat

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fairyqueennerd · 6 years

Text

NALU prompt-6 -Sensation

Though he was in high school, he was the leader of well known gang. Natsu Dragneel was a name and face that everyone staying in Magnolia knew. Though all the members of the gang were friendly and helpful, they were terror in the area.

This weekend all his friends were busy with their special someone as it was the Valentine week, and here he was in front of the theatre to kill time. He didn’t even bother to buy a ticket cuz no one dares to ask Natsu Dragneel to buy a ticket.

He randomly went to the hall and sat at the seat P3, in 10 minutes the movie was about to start and people were just filling in, he thought to get a short nap till it began, as soon as he closed his eyes someone tapped his shoulder and said-

“Excuse me sir, this is my seat.”

Who the hell dares to disturb him? He looked with such a dark glare that could kill a person but it vanished instantly seeing a blonde beauty with innocent chocolate brown eyes looking at him. She didn’t seem afraid. So someone was there who didn’t knew him yet it was a bad sign, he was loosing authority but why was he glad that this girl didn’t know him.

“Hello! I am talking to you.” She waved her hands in front of his face effectively pulling him out of his daze.

“Huh!”

“it’s my seat.” Few security people saw this and were coming to stop her but Natsu signalled them to stay away from this matter.

“Oh! I must have mistaken, it must be P4.” He sifted to the nearby seat and offered the blonde the seat she had paid for.

All the seats were getting filled except the row they were sitting in and Natsu was enjoying this. What was this sensation? Why was he feeling relaxed around a blonde whom he had met not minutes ago?

The movie started People started shouting, hooting, whistling about whatever was going on the screen. But, Natsu’s movie was the girl sitting beside her, How she was smiling widely when the movie began, how her eyes gleamed when the hero entered, how she laughed at the jokes they cracked, how her eyes moisten when the hero lost his best friend, how her eyes gleamed when the leads got together, how her nose went up slightly when there was something gross going on, how her mouth watered when they were having a lavish meal at the queen’s palace. All of these were exciting him.

Generally, when the movie ended he would be glad, but this time he didn’t even realise that it had ended and the girl beside him stood up to leave before he could stop her she was gone.

That night all he could think off was about that girl, however hard he tried to think something else she was all that came to his mind, all these thoughts were making his heart filled with warmth and he liked this sensation a lot.

“Natsu, A new girl has showed up in the school and rumours are she is not obedient enough.”

“oh! Is it lets go have little fun.”

Finally his brain could function again, being back with his gang was great. It didn’t last long enough cuz the new girl was none other than the blonde girl he met yesterday.

“Fuck”

“What’s it Natsu?”

“Why is she here?” he murmured to himself.

“Hi” he called out for her attention.

“oh! It’s you.” She simply said smilied at him. He froze not knowing what to say next.

“You two know each other.” Gray asked. This idiot does have a functioning brain.

“Not exactly, we just met in the theatre.”

“Ah! I see.” He smirked at Natsu and slyly added.

“I am Gray Fullbuster and this is my friend Natsu Dragneel.”

Slight terror crossed her eyes and Natsu wanted to punch Gray straight on the face right there if it was not for her.

“o-oh! I am L-Lucy H-Heartfi-lia, nice t-to m-meet y-you.” She stuttered and left hastily.

After she was gone, he punched Gray straight to the gut as hard as he could, he fell on the ground coughing and panting

“Why the hell did you tell her that, you bastard”

“Don’t act silly she was bound to know that either this way or the harder way so I thought this way was better.”

This time the sensations were different, it didn’t fill his heart with the warmth but with darkness. Gray was right yesterday she din’t know him but his name was enough to fill her with terror she won’t smile at him again, nor would she talk to him. Their story was finished tough it had not yet started.

For the following few days he tried his best to talk to her, but each time she avoided him, whenever he came close to her, her eyes were filled with fear and she would leave.

He was always proud about the fact that people were terrified by him but with Lucy it was different he wanted it to differ, he wanted her to look at him, talk with him as she did with her friends, she affected him in many ways that he himself cannot explain. But, each time she ignored him the aura around him darkened.

“Natsu-san Jackel has been stealing again.”

“What? Where is he? Did he not learn his lesson last time?”

“Oh! There you are, heard you have been stealing again.”

“Ah! Natsu you are here, see I have the potential to be in your gang and this is the proof.”

“Filth like you don’t deserve to be in my gang or any gang for that matter.”

“I see, let’s fight then if I win I would be in the gang as the gang leader.”

“I am getting fired up”

The fight began initially it was a few kicks and punch here and there, suddenly Lucy’s terrified eyes came to his mind and he temporarily stopped and ended on the ground with a severe blow to his chest, it made him so furious that he got up and went straight for Jackel’s face and punched him again and again till he was unconscious but still he didn’t stop and continued punching.

“Hey Natsu stop it” Gray said

“Natsu” Erza came to interfere but failed.

All the other gang members were terrified, if those two failed to stop him nobody can and at this rate Jackel would die.

“NATSU NO..” He froze, Lucy was standing in front of him with eyes full of tears, fear evident in them and then she ran away just like always, but this time he followed her.

“Lucy stop.” But she continued running and even glancing back at him.

“Lucy Please.” She did not listen to him and suddenly she fell.

“LUUCCYYYY.” She shouted, this time before she could run again he caught her and hugged her tightly while she was still crying.

“I am sorry Lucy don’t run away from me.”

They had never talked before much still he felt he needed to apologise to her, his friends would be surprised to see him apologise like that but this girl affected him so much that this felt natural to him.

After she calmed down, they went and sat in the park.

“Why are you avoiding me so badly Luce?

“Cuz you are the Natsu Dragneel, and I don’t want to do anything with a gang leader.”

“But Luce..”

“No Natsu, I have seen these people, they are the reason why I don’t have my mother anymore. I heard a lot about you when I came here and at the theatre I knew it was you but the way you reacted made me think you were different. But the next day this girl tried to bully me, when I opposed she said she would call Natsu Dragneel and I would have to obey, and ofcourse you came to get your prey, I just don’t understand why you didn’t just do something? Was it because you achieved what you came there to get? Fear in my eyes? Then why were you trying to talk to me? Was it for bullying? And now why you beat that boy so much? It made me think of my mother’s state and I am still shaken. Why are you with me now?”

He was a little stunned with all the information she had just provided him. Did she hate him? Care for him? Did she consider him as a friend like he did after meeting her for the first time? Did she get the same sensation he did after meeting her?

Nothing came to his mind to say but his body acted on his own. His left hand went up to her check and wiped off the tears, while his right hand set few of her blonde locks behind her ear and he looked at her tenderly.

“You know so much about me, then you would be knowing that we started as a good gang helping others, but some people made our image bad so that we would be out of action but it just made us more popular and people were terrified for no reason and we let it be as it gave us the authority. I loved this until I saw the terror in your eyes. I wanted to clear this all out so I tried talking to her. You ignoring me had made me mad Jackel was just a medium to release my frustration, I never wanted to beat him like that, it was him who initiated it.”

She was looking in his eyes but still didn’t say anything.

“If you tell me to stop all this then I would.” He declared.

“Stop being a part of the gang Natsu, please.”

He had never imagined that such a day would come in his life, but there he was sitting in the park with Lucy and kissing her. When he leaned in to kiss her, he half expected her backing out or slapping him, but was in for a surprise when her arms were around his neck and she was kissing him back. This was the best feeling.

The next day he declared that he was leaving the gang, everybody was surprised by this decision but then asked no more when Lucy came up to him and kissed his cheek. But, he got himself into a through interrogation later.

Things were all fine by now but one day when Natsu asked her out on a date she hesitated and refused. It didn’t sit well with him, but the girls told him that It was ok and he should give her some space, whatever they were saying he didn’t like it.

So, his friends decided to take him on a shopping trip to buy matching clothes for the couple for the next date.

After the shopping was done they were going to the nearby restaurant to have lunch when Natsu suddenly saw Lucy “Hey Lu-“ he stopped when he noticed she was not alone but with a blonde man, she was holding lots of shopping bags maybe that man purchased it for her, she was also smiling brightly to him, he felt numb completely, but when he saw him kiss her forehead he lost it. What was this sensation? Jealousy? Betrayal?

He rushed forward and hit him on the face panting hard, more from his anger than his short run up.

“Stay away from her.”

“Natsu stop, he is my brother.”

“Eh!” He realised his mistake, all his friends were there too and were laughing, while her brother was caressing his now bruised cheek and laughing along with the others.

“So this is your hot head lover. I am Sting Eucliffe, Lucy’s cousin brother, nice to meet you.”

“Natsu Dragneel” they shook hands and started talking and instantly hit it off.

That night Natsu was in Lucy’s room, having a candlelight dinner.

“Why did you say no for the date?”

“Hey! Are you still pissed at me for that?” His silenced answered her question.

“Well I had this shopping pre-planned with Sting. And I wanted you two to meet on our next date but sadly it didn’t work out” she sighed.

“Well it worked out somehow.”

“How?”

“Since I have met him today, I have our next date with you alone.”

He looked how she was blushing with that same gleam when he first met her.

“I love you Luce.”

“I love you too Natsu.”

#naluweek #prompt-6 #sensation/numb #nalu #fairytail

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usagiplease · 7 years

Text

{ g u y s } m y { a g e } .

you remember it too well. you remember your own experience.

you remember that he smelled like pipe tobacco. you remember that for some bullshit reason, you thought that sheer pretentiousness was fucking charming. endearing. it wasn’t. it was actually disgusting. he was old. he wasn’t charming.

but you were young, and you thought that you had the world grabbed by the dick, and you knew you could get away with it, so you did. he was married, but he wasn’t in love, and you didn’t care that you were the dirty little secret that would never leave his sheets because you didn’t feel anything.

it was classroom banter that turned into bedroom fodder. nothing more. the next morning, it was like nothing had happened. he felt nothing, you felt nothing.

but then you did. you felt something that he didn’t.

you felt dirty.

he felt affection.

he wasn’t the first older man, that was a friend of your father’s from when you were fifteen.

but, he would be the last.

ii.

you didn’t expect to become the older man.

or maybe you did. but not like this.

you didn’t expect the kid that showed up in the college econ class you ta’d, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. he was one of those kids that held onto his backpack straps with both hands, skipped on the balls of his feet. he was too excited, too elated about fucking every god damn thing.

it was not attraction at first sight. he was not endearing to you. this boy didn’t strike you as another notch in your bed post, another conquest for your little black book.

but then he kept helping out after class when he didn’t have to, and you knew why. it wasn’t because he was hoping for extra credit that you weren’t going to grant him. it was merely because of you. you’d seen it a hundred times before, and he wasn’t any different.

he was not any different.

“my name is mason,” he told you, bright and cheerful, and you called him macon for a solid three weeks so that he would know for sure that you really didn’t give a shit.

but god, did you imagine how good it would sound to hear him purr “sebastian” in your ear at night somewhere between weeks three and four.

and then you knew.

iii.

he lit up like a christmas tree when you asked him back to your place. you didn’t make up a bullshit excuse about helping with papers. you didn’t do anything, and he didn’t need you to. he knew what this was about, and he melted right into you like butter in a skillet.

his arms folded around you, his mouth opened against yours like a gate that wasn’t doing a good job at guarding any of his secrets. you were the one who shoved him for the bed first, but he was the one who straddled you, who begged you to fuck him harder.

you didn’t know he had it in him during that first round.

you wised up around round four.

you didn’t feel guilty, because you never feel guilty. not even with an innocent kid who was maybe only a freshman or a sophomore (you knew he was the latter). he wasn’t even old enough to drink, but he was old enough to make this decision for himself.

he was old enough to know what he was getting himself into.

he should have been old enough to see the train coming before it smashed him to pieces.

iv.

for a while, it was just a routine. you and him, him and you.

he didn’t have a key to your place, because you didn’t do that, but he knew where you hid your spare. he knew not to follow you, but he knew when and where to wait.

you hated that you were beginning to memorize his idiosyncrasies. you knew how he took his coffee and you knew that he sang in the shower, even when you were fucking him. you knew he bit harder on your left side than your right. you knew he had terrible fucking taste in youtube videos, but you still let him show you those goddamn vine compilations anyway.

he opened for you and you closed off to him when he wanted more than anything for you to answer a single question about your life.

sometimes, you obliged. only when it got too late and your walls got a little too tenuous. you’d tell him about how you didn’t have a clue what you were gonna do after college and how your brother had life figured out way more than you did. you mentioned that you hated your dad and hated yourself for thinking your mom was pathetic for staying with him.

he’d babble about his twin sister and how his high school girlfriend had dumped him because she’d meddled too hard in their relationship. he talked about how guilty he felt going to a different school than her, but that he was happy he had.

“i mean, god, she’d never shut up if she knew about you.”

you didn’t talk for the rest of the night. not even to ask him to leave, even if that was the only thing you wanted to do.

“what are you talking about?” he asked you, desperately, his voice breaking. he sounded tired, he looked like a fucking mess.

it took you a month after the goddamn sister conversation to actually tell him you couldn’t do this anymore, but you couldn’t. the semester was about to be over, and mason wouldn’t be in econ anymore. he’d be in a different class, and you’d have no reason to cross paths.

he was getting too close and you were opening too much, and the last thing you needed was mason’s fucking gossipmonger sister somehow weaseling her way into… whatever this was.

“you didn’t think this was a thing, did you?”

“you’re joking, right?”

you hated the way his voice cracking made your stomach hurt, but you pushed that aside. “you’re just a kid.”

“that’s bullshit. you’re fucking full of it. you’re making excuses, because… because you know that…”

“because i know what?”

he was still naked. was it really necessary for you to get one last fuck out of the way before you yanked the rug out like this?

of course it was.

he stood up, he grabbed the sheet off your bed and wrapped it around his waist, leaving it draping off of him and hanging around the floor. his eyes were quickly glossing over, his cheeks turning red. “you know that you like me. you might even fucking love me and—”

“—now you’re really grasping at straws.”

“you’re a coward.”

“and you’re a pathetic little freshman who needs to learn his place.”

+ 6 months

graduation was a week away, and you needed it to be today. you needed it to be yesterday, because you needed a change of scenery. you were over princeton. you needed somewhere new. maybe you needed a different coastline.

your best friend lived in san diego, and he’d been blasting your phone for weeks about taking him up on his offer to finally move in with him and his boyfriend because, like, what could possibly sound more appealing than that other than a suicide pact, right?

you’ve got your bag slung over your shoulder as you make your way across the quad, an iced coffee in hand and too many thesis papers to grade hanging over your head since your lazy professor sure as fuck isn’t going to do them himself.

and that’s when you see him.

his curly hair’s a little shaggier than the last time you had it between your fingers, and he’s got a leather jacket on. he’s laughing too hard at something.

and he’s not alone.

next to him is another boy, slightly shorter, slightly stockier. his head is shaved and he’s wearing a tigers jersey. you recognize him only because he’s in one of your classes and his papers are a pain in the ass to read half the time. he’s also the school paper’s always heralding as a potential starting quarterback for next season.

none of that matters to you.

you’re just focused on his lips on the boy in the leather jacket’s throat.

the knot in your stomach is unrelated. it’s because the coffee fucking sucks.

you turn and walk the opposite direction, unaware that his eyes were following you the whole time.

#sebason feels #i really just come on here to post drabbles and feelings for liz tbqh #liz tag

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dietarysalad · 7 years

Text

Street War – Chapter 13

When the morning came, Sougo was not-so-gently awoken by the obnoxious ringing of his alarm. Sluggishly, he crawled out of bed and stretched, his body desperately telling him that he should back into bed. I wonder if five more minutes will be okay. However, before he had the chance to comply with his sleepy wishes, Sougo jolted awake at the realisation that he was not in his room.

Mayonnaise posters, mayonnaise figurines… Yeah, definitely not my room. Slowly, the memories of last night flowed back into Sougo’s mind and he hastily rushed out of Hijikata’s bedroom to check the entranceway foyer. Upon finding no sign of Hijikata’s shoes in the small area, Sougo breathed out a sigh of relief and wasted no time in walking back to his own room where he had left Kagura for the night. His shoes aren’t here – we’ve still got some time.

However, Sougo failed to notice that Kagura’s shoes were not in the foyer area, either.

Knocking harshly and loudly on his bedroom door, Sougo called out to Kagura – who he assumed was still sleeping. “Oi!” he yelled. “Little Miss Piggy, wake up! I’m not getting my ass kicked by Hijikata-san just because you’re a lazy-ass and don’t want to wake up.” When he received no reply, Sougo gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to kick the door down. It’s my door, after all, he reasoned. Slowly, he pushed on the handle and opened the door, allowing ample time for Kagura to yell back at him in the case that she was in any state of indecency.

“Wake the hell up-!” he began to yell at her again, but was stopped by the emptiness of the room. She’s not here? Carefully, he scanned his eyes across his room to check for any sign of her presence. His bed had been slept in, but there was no longer anyone in it. In addition, the plastic bag filled with Kagura’s soaked clothes had also disappeared from its spot on his desk, replaced with a small scrap of paper. Plastered on the crumpled sheet of paper was a message written in Kagura’s illegible chicken scratch.

“I’m not really sure what to do with your clothes, so I’ll probably just burn them. You don’t need them anyways, right? Oh, and bring me ochazuke for lunch today.” Sougo scrunched up the piece of paper and deftly threw it into the bin beside his desk. He did not particularly mind that he would not be getting his clothes back – they did not fit him, either way. But, the ochazuke? To hell with that. He was irritated, he knew. And, this time, he could not deny that his irritation stemmed from the fact that he had worked himself up about seeing Kagura in the morning, yet she had disappeared without so much as a glance in his direction.

When Kagura arrived home at the early hour of six in the morning, Gintoki was far too tired to scold her. He hugged her tight the moment she walked through the apartment door, having waited for her in the hallway by the entranceway foyer all night. As he squeezed his daughter, he mumbled a tired “everyone was worried” and received a quiet “I’m sorry” in return. His tense muscles relaxed as she pulled away from him and, after giving her a once over and noticing her unfamiliar outfit, he told her to quickly go and change.

As Kagura walked past her tired father, she was ambushed by Sadaharu who jumped onto her and pushed her to the ground. After a good laugh, she fervently ruffled Sadaharu’s fur as the gigantic Samoyed yipped in glee at her return. The past night, when Kagura had stayed over at Sougo’s, Sadaharu had slept on his own for the first time in a long time. Though both Gintoki and Kamui had offered to open their rooms for him, the stubborn puppy had waited by himself in Kagura’s room, buried underneath her blanket. Gintoki watched with weary eyes as Sadaharu excitedly licked Kagura’s face, jumping for her attention as she tried to stand and walk back to her room. If Sadaharu were Kagura’s little brother… He’d be the type to have a sister-complex? How difficult.

After Kagura had managed to free herself from Sadaharu’s clutches, she ran back to her room – dropping off her wet clothes in the laundry room on the way. After locating her school uniform, Kagura threw off Sougo’s overly large clothes and chucked them into the corner of her room. I’ll deal with that mess later. However, after she had removed the clothing from her body, Kagura felt a strange sense of coldness overwhelm her. Shivering slightly, she decided that it was probably just the weather as she threw on her uniform and grabbed a sweater from her closet to throw on top of her school shirt.

By the time she had finished changing, Kamui had woken up as a result of the morning commotion and captured his sister as she was leaving her bedroom. In a display of brotherly affection, he lifted Kagura up and piggybacked her into the dining room. However, it was his decision to make aeroplane noises that made Kagura giggle. “I’m not a child, idiot big brother,” Kagura whined, trying to give her brother a stern expression through her mirthful laughter. Kamui smiled at her as he set her down at the dining table. “You’ll always be my baby sister. Even I can get worried about you, sometimes.”

At that moment, Gintoki entered the dining room, ruffling his children’s hair, and announced that he would be making breakfast. At the word ‘breakfast’, both Kagura and Kamui perked up, their eyes glimmering as drool threatened to escape from their lips. “Yes, yes, you animals,” Gintoki sighed, grabbing an apron that had been hooked onto one of the cupboard handles. “Have you packed your school bag, Kagura? Hurry and get ready. And you, Kamui – get ready for work. There’re some requests in for today.” “Okay,” the two teenagers chorused, dragging out the last syllable as long as it would go. “And Kagura?” “Hm?” she replied, her foot halfway out the dining room to find her school bag. “I’ll need to have a word with you when you come home today. It’s nothing big, just the usual parenting stuff that I should do every so often.” “Alright.” Kagura was a little worried about what Gintoki needed to day, but she was sure that it wasn’t anything big if Gintoki could still make jokes about it.

Since Kagura had woken up so early, she also managed to get to school on time without having to run to make the bell. This is nice, I should wake up early more often. After thinking on it for a bit, though, Kagura immediately retracted her statement. Actually, no. Sleep is really nice. She walked into class and saw Soyo already there, setting her pencil case and water bottle onto her desk. Soyo’s face brightened when she saw Kagura.

“Kagura-chan! Some storm last night, huh? It was seriously coming down!” Soyo exclaimed, her face making an animated expression. Kagura nodded, shaking away wayward thoughts about a certain sadistic third-year. “Oh, by the way – what did Hisashi-san think about the photos?” asked Soyo, her eyebrows raised in curiosity. “That’s right – the photos!” After that, Kagura spent most of the time before morning homeroom telling Soyo about Hongou’s appreciation of their photos. She detailed how excited he was about seeing something that wasn’t the boring hospital environment, and duly noted that they should take beach photos for him when summer came around. Soyo listened, thrilled that her friend was showing at least some interest in a member of the male population.

“Hey, Kagura,” started Soyo. “Yeah?” “Could it be that you’ve got a crush on this Hisashi Hongou?” she speculated, leaning in close to her friend. Kagura blinked. “Eh? ‘Crush’? Why would I want to crush him? He’s sick!” Thoroughly confused as to what Soyo was talking about, Kagura spoke loudly and recoiled in her seat. “Hm? No, no! Kagura-chan, don’t you know what a crush is?” “Uh, when you take something and you put a lot of force on it, so it breaks?” “No, no!” Soyo exclaimed, waving her hands lightly in front of Kagura. “Kagura-chan, could it be that you’ve never liked someone before?” “Hm? I like lots of people. Gin-chan, Kamui when he’s not being stupid, Sadaharu, Shinpachi and his big sister Tae, Tsukuyo… Oh, and you of course, Soyo-chan!” Kagura announced, opening her arms in jubilant glee.

Soyo giggled. “Why, thank you Kagura-chan. I like you a lot, too! But that’s not what I mean. Have you ever liked someone in a romantic sense?” “Ro-man-tic?” Kagura tested the word on her tongue. “Can’t say I have.” Soyo looked surprised, then her gentle smile returned. “Well, I guess you’ll fall in love when you meet the right person.” Kagura looked even more confused. “How will I know who the right person is?” she asked tentatively. “Hm,” Soyo murmured as she stroked her non-existent beard. “It’s different for every person. Usually, though, your heart will beat really quickly and you might feel something a little like indigestion. For me, there was this time that I met this prince from another country, and-“ “Wait, isn’t that the feeling of being sick?”

Kagura looked on in confusion as Soyo smiled again. “Sometimes, it might feel like you’re sick when you’re with that person,” Soyo explained patiently. “But, when you’re apart from them, it’ll feel worse than being sick. Maybe you should see if you feel that way about this Hisashi Hongou guy, Kagura.” Kagura gave Soyo a look as if she was crazy, but was forced to return to her seat when the bell for homeroom went and their teacher entered the classroom.

At the sound of the end-of-school bell, Kagura bid farewell to Soyo at the shoe lockers and walked once more to the hospital. She knew that Gintoki had something to say to her, but she also knew from his conversation that morning that he would be busy with work for a while. Thus, she decided that she would pass the time with Hongou until Gintoki forced her to go home.

Upon entering Hongou’s room, Kagura quietly noticed that there were less machines around in comparison to the last time that she was there. She also noticed that the room was much more colourful than before and, as she walked closer to Hongou’s bed, she found him crafting origami cranes as he used his thick book as a workspace. “Wow, Hisashi-kun!” she exclaimed, looking around the room in wonder. “These look amazing! You must have, like, a million here.”

Hongou chuckled gently at her childish glee. “Actually,” he began, setting down the crane that he was currently working on as he beamed proudly at Kagura. “I’ve almost gotten a thousand of them. There’s a legend that, if you can make a thousand of these paper cranes, then you’ll be granted a single wish.” Kagura’s eyes widened. “Really?” she said loudly. “Then, you can wish to get better real quick so we can kick Shinsengumi butt?”

“Well, I’m not going to wish to get better,” Hongou stated, a smile adorned on his face. “I want to be able to get better on my own. What I wish for…” He paused, glancing at Kagura as he gave her a small smile. “… Well, that’s a secret,” he whispered, placing a finger to his lips before a sound by the door made him look up. “Hm?” Kagura turned at Hongou’s confusion, swivelling in her chair so that her line of sight now included the door. However, the unexpected visitor made her swallow in nervousness.

Sougo, a tired look in his eyes and a plastic bag in hand, walked from his position by the doorway over to Hongou’s bed. “Yo, Hongou,” he called out. “I was out and saw that a new book from that series you like came out. Here.” He moved to pass the plastic bag to his friend in bed when his eyes focused onto Kagura. “Hm? China’s here,” he stated, as if only just noticing that she was there. Kagura scrunched up her nose at him. “You look awful,” she stated curtly. “Not as awful as you.” At his blunt statement, Kagura made to attack him while Hongou gently held her back, chuckling at the affair.

Sougo watched as Hongou’s arms locked around Kagura’s own, preventing her from attacking the Shinsengumi member. His eyes twitched. “I just stopped by to drop these off. I’m leaving.” Hongou looked up. “Ah, Okita-san!” “Hm?” Sougo stopped, turning back to address Hongou’s outburst. “Thanks for the books!” he exclaimed. “And, uh, could you take Kagura home as well? I’m a little worried about her walking home on her own.” “Ah? I’m fine to take care of myself,” Kagura interjected, looking incredulously at Hongou. “I don’t need this Shinsengumi rat babysitting me.” “I won’t agree with her on the whole ‘rat’ thing,” Sougo spoke up. “But I do agree that I don’t wanna be walking her home.” Hongou smiled sadly. “Is that so?”

Suddenly, Kagura’s phone buzzed. She took a look at the message. Sender: Gin-chan. Subject: Get your butt home. Content: Get your butt home, I’m not having a repeat of yesterday. Kagura closed her phone and sighed. “Gin-chan wants me home,” she announced, picking up her school bag from the ground. “See ya, Hisashi-kun! She stuck her tongue out at Sougo, then swiftly left the room. As Sougo watched her race past, he was tempted to tell her not to run in the hospital, but a nurse beat him to it. His eyes softened as Kagura dodged nurses and patients alike on her stubborn power walk through the halls.

After Kagura had left, Hongou looked up at Sougo, a nervous energy filling him. “Um, I heard… about Mitsuba-san,” he quietly stated as Sougo’s eyes widened. “I’m really sorry about your loss. If only this world had no sickness in it, maybe people could be happy.” Sougo sighed. “There’s no point being sorry, it wasn’t your fault.” Hongou was quiet. “I’m glad, though. That you seem happy.” Sougo raised an eyebrow. “Happy?” “Yeah. It’s Kagura-chan, isn’t it?” stated Hongou, though it came out as more of a question. “You always seem to be a little happier when she’s around.” Sougo looked incredulous. “You’re joking.” “No, really! And don’t even try to deny it; I’ve known you for long enough to know what your happy face and pissed off face look like.”

With his eyebrows knit together, Sougo made a face and turned away. “Well, it’s okay you don’t need to worry about me.” Hongou tilted his head in confusion. “Why?” Sougo turned to Hongou. “Don’t you like that China girl? It’s okay – even if all that nonsense about her making me happy were true, I don’t like her or anything.” Hongou blinked in surprise. “But, Okita-san…” “Yes?”

“I don’t have a crush on Kagura-chan.”

Author’s Note

You see, Okita-kun? No need to be so peanut butter and jelly--!

Ahah, I hope none of you were too surprised by this. I did my best to make it obvious that Hongou didn’t like Kagura, but I’m no good at things like this so I’m not quite sure what you guys thought might happen.

Hmm, it’s autumn transitioning into winter here in Australia, and sitting here with my scented candle and a nice cup of high quality tea that my friend bought me… Wrapped in a blanket… While it’s raining outside… Well, it’s a really good mood for writing a story, is all I’m saying! ^^

I hope there’s pleasant weather where you guys are at, too!

#fanfic #gintama #okikagu #phew last one for tonight #time to do that assignment #hrrmmm im so tired thoughh

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