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husbandhoshi · 2 years

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just a moment with you

pairing: hoshi x gn!reader

wc: 3.8k

summary: after a series of disasters, you find yourself on a long-winded detour from your senior trip with kwon soonyoung, local life of the party and the boy you may have just a little tiny crush on.

or the one where you fall in love with the boy you've fallen in love with every friday night.

notes: college!au, fluff, humor, friends to lovers, lots of alcohol mentions and romcom cliches

originally written for mads's @neonun-au birthday, and thank you to madison (@heartkyeom), vampy (@vampyrescript) , and eva (@bfwonu) for helping with edits!

It wasn't supposed to go like this.

You'd like to say you awoke to the smell of sandalwood, maybe room service or a foot massage.

Instead, you're roused by a hand cramp and the dull smack of your head against the window of Soonyoung's sedan as he speeds over what may be the deepest pothole you've seen in your entire adult life.

"Shit..." You blink, bleary-eyed, at the clock (4:39 PM, a full hour after you were supposed to get to the hotel), and then at Soonyoung, who's humming along to your music and driving with one hand as if absolutely nothing is wrong.

You've noticed he hasn't stolen the aux cord from you even though you were supposed to switch off ages ago. It's one of the many small graces you've noticed from him today—you almost forgive him for letting you sleep through the entirety of the playlist you curated specifically for this trip. He lifted your bag into the back of his car (fair, because it was embarrassingly heavy), bought you Starbucks (he probably needed the stars or something), and didn't lose his patience when you asked him the nth question about ballet (you have no explanation for this one. If you were him, you definitely would have lost it the fifth time you had to explain what a jeté was.).

Yet again, you feel like something more than just a casual friend in the leftovers car on your senior trip.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," he chirps. "Sleep well?"

You gaze out the window, watching the ribbon of green trees unfurl over the sprawling asphalt road. Once you get past Soonyoung's obvious speeding, it's nice, perfect even.

Until you remember you're on a trip to the beach. Not the middle of the forest.

"Soonyoung?"

"Yeah?"

"Where exactly are we?"

Without thinking, Soonyoung replies blithely, "I don't know. When you were asleep, Jeonghan called me and told me to detour and make a pit stop somewhere down this highway." A near comedic pause. "Also my phone's dead."

Then the music stops, signaling the death of your phone and the last tether you have to civilization.

You remember you're in Soonyoung's shitty 1990-something car with manual window cranks instead of phone chargers. And so it's just you, Soonyoung, and the road until you find some hillbilly death town to get gas at and figure out how to contact the rest of your friends, who are likely already sunbathing on the beach.

"So we're lost."

Soonyoung laughs, and it's almost enough to ease the wave of anxiety currently climbing your bones.

"Fuck. Oh my god," you groan. "We're in a horror movie, aren't we?"

"Ok, maybe, but we would totally survive a horror movie. Right? Come on. You're smiling."

"We are literally gonna be the first people to die. Like in the first thirty minutes."

For a moment you catch yourself tracing Soonyoung's grinning silhouette against the glow of the window, almost in admiration.

"What? You can't see me heroically rescuing you? I could absolutely take a zombie down. Seriously. We'd definitely make the hour mark."

"Not when you can't even keep our phones charged," you lament. "Or take the right exit. There, there, god, please check your blind spot!"

The town that you drive into is ripped straight from a postcard, thankfully, and not from the cover of a slasher movie.

It's almost incredible how, instead of drinking out of a coconut and watching Seokmin trip over his feet in an unnecessarily competitive game of beach volleyball, you're looking for parking spots on a street where it looks like cars haven't been invented yet.

But you don't really mind. In fact, as Soonyoung almost swerves off the road to point at a cute dog tied to a lamppost, you find this whole debacle a little endearing.

"Maybe we can park in front of this café and charge our phones there?"

"Yes, ma'am," Soonyoung replies, and that's how you find yourself seated in the cutest little booth, at a table so small, your knees are almost touching his.

In true disaster movie fashion, his phone charger is too frayed to be of any use, and so he peruses one of the sticky plastic-cover menus while you watch the slow creep of your phone battery to a serviceable percent.

"You like blueberry?" he asks.

"Sure."

You notice he's a foot tapper—always moving to some imaginary beat, never able to stay still. It'd normally bug you a little, but instead you're wondering what song he's dancing to. Almost as if reading your mind, he promptly sits on his hands and apologizes—"Sorry, 'm shaking the table," he laughs. "Bad habit."

"No, it's ok." You see an unreadable expression cross his face. But it's not a bad one—instead, it makes you curious. "I like trying to figure out what song you're thinking of."

"One of the songs from your playlist. I like your taste in music."

It flatters you more than it should, and to break the post-compliment tension you've invented in your own mind, you decide to call Jeonghan and set things straight while Soonyoung orders—blueberry pancakes and two coffees, please.

"Jeonghan, what the fuck," is the first thing you say to him, and Soonyoung laughs from across the table.

"Where are you guys?" is his languid reply, and, just as you predicted, you hear the telltale wail of Mingyu's voice complaining that Seungcheol was hogging all the shade. "Still driving?"

"What do you mean? Soonyoung told me that you told us to pull off at a rest stop."

"Hm?" He pulls the receiver away to holler at someone in the background (You can at least try to keep the ball in bounds, and someone, Seungkwan, maybe, yells something back). "Sorry, bad timing. I gotta go."

"What? Where? What the hell is going on?"

"You must have gotten lost." You can almost perfectly picture his nonchalant shrug, the dumb bucket hat he's got askew on his head. "Guess we shouldn't have put the two most directionally challenged people in the same car. Just stay the night wherever you are—we're not finishing all the alc today. Just most of it."

"Jeonghan—" And the receiver goes dead. "Jeonghan!"

It's over the welcome plate of pancakes Soonyoung ordered where you're able to fully contemplate your situation.

Of course it's the one time you're alone and sober with him where everything seems to go wrong.

You met Soonyoung at one of Jeonghan's parties. He was drinking from a wine bag, right from the spout, and it was then and there you knew you just had to be friends with him.

And it did happen—somehow, among college socialite Jeonghan's seemingly endless friend circles, you and the dance major fell into a steady rhythm of seeing each other on the weekends and vastly enjoying each other's presence.

Ever since, he was that friend for you. Your steadfast beer pong partner, the guy who texted you almost exclusively nonsensical memes and requests for philosophy notes (never without the pleading eyes emoji), and someone who was always down to split a milkshake with you at the midnight diner when the rest of your friends wanted real food (Isn't ice cream somewhere on the food pyramid? Soonyoung had always joked, to which Jihoon pointed out that Soonyoung ate like the pyramid was a circle labeled "junk". Says the guy who pisses straight Diet Coke, Soonyoung had replied, pouting, and it never failed to make you laugh.).

You had a comfortable friendship, one that was never less, never more, although you'd be lying if you said you never wished it was otherwise.

Now, looking at him, doused in the afternoon light and quietly listening to you ramble about your film minor, you never would have matched up this Soonyoung to the Soonyoung who did push-ups for an hour to attempt doing a keg stand by himself.

You push back the memory aching in your mind, that one night you walked him home after one too many margaritas.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" you had joked, and he turned to you, fully serious, and said you looked really pretty tonight. You remember the way his lips formed around the words, like it was the only thing he really knew in that moment.

And for once you felt relieved that he likely wouldn't remember a thing from that night, because you felt all the blood in your body, every single cell, rush to your head.

Maybe we both got a little too drunk, you had told yourself, but there was no way you could forget the way he had looked at you, and worse, that traitorous little flutter in the hollow of your chest.

He's saved you the last pancake.

"Whatcha thinking about?" he asks, more softly than you expect. "I know you're probably worried—" (Spoiler alert. You are.) "But...we're here now. Might as well have fun."

"I guess I can tolerate you for another 24 hours." You playfully roll your eyes, but not before catching the way he smiles at you. Yeah, he might smile at everyone like that, but this one, carved by maple syrup and sunlight, feels special.

"It'll be fun! Promise."

You make him pinky promise, even though you already believe him. You notice his hands are soft; you make him swear again just to hold them again, one more time.

As expected from a series of increasingly more unfortunate events, Soonyoung has dragged you into a souvenir shop for some tacky memorabilia to remember your trip by.

"Should we get them a postcard? We can write fuck you on the back," he says, scrunching his face up at the spinning rack of watercolor prints.

"Brilliant."

You join him by the display, and he promptly shows you the seven different postcards he was considering.

Too bright, too Hallmark, too Thomas Kincaid, you tell him as he shuffles through his stack,and even though he doesn't know who the fuck you're talking about, he takes your opinion like it's gospel and narrows it down to a painting of the sun over the lake, a big fat orange hovering above the little town you've found yourself in.

"If we're here, we might as well see the sunset. I think I saw a picnic area by the water," you say, watching him traipse over to a shelf of tourist trap hats. He tries one on, and you can't find it within yourself to tell him that, as cute as he is posing for you, it's not worth thirty dollars.

"Let's do it. I can show off my new hat."

Soonyoung grins at you, and it's like meeting him in reverse.

For some godforsaken reason, he knows what you look like mid-breakdown over a boy, and you know what his favorite hangover cure is (jasmine tea and a bowl of plain rice). And yet, you're both still figuring out the little things. When he pays for his goofy hat and the postcard, you catch that he has a little birthmark on his wrist.

"I still can't believe you cried watching Cars," you tell Soonyoung as you exit the gift shop.

"No amount of higher education could make me deny Mater's impact," he replies, hand over his heart, and you can't do anything but laugh. "Please tell me you'll write your thesis on him."

"Maybe if you look a little more pathetic, I'll think about it."

He doesn't hesitate to give you his best puppy eyes, and you actually feel your heart lurch a little.

"Hm. I'm listening."

And so you let Soonyoung lay out his master plan for your unwritten dissertation on Mater and Lightning McQueen's brotherhood, and it doesn't bypass you that he was actually listening to you talk about all that complicated movie lingo earlier.

He's a good listener even when he's not drunk. Actually, he's a better one sober, and it makes you feel kinda funny.

When he looks at you, stars in his eyes, you see the same Soonyoung that you've spent all those midnights with, except he still acts like he's known you for years you haven't had together.

You find yourself wishing that you knew him on nights other than Friday ones, that you knew his ups and downs, that you knew him as not just a drinking game partner, or a seatmate or another one of Jeonghan's friends or the guy you subject to mimosa therapy on bottomless Sundays.

You find yourself wishing you knew all of Soonyoung, and it's the moment you settle on that thought that you know you're doomed.

"So that's first position."

"Yup."

You watch Soonyoung's lithe fingers dance across the canvas of the tote bag you've laid out across both your laps, as you sit side by side on a bench by the lakeside. The air is warm and muggy with summertime, and there's no one out but the two of you.

"Arabesque into pas de ciseaux." A dash to stage right (the corner where your leg and the tote bag meet), and he pirouettes onto the bare skin of your thigh. His touch is featherlight, but it gives you goosebumps, something you desperately try to swallow down as his hand spins back for a final jump and bow.

"That's the jeté," you manage to say, and you can swear he's never looked happier to hear something.

"Yeah, you got it," he says, slow and soft. "See, you could do ballet too."

"Nowhere as good as you, not even close. I don't know if you saw me, but I've been to your shows before. You're incredible."

"No, I remember. I always look for you in the audience," he replies. "Because of that one time you asked me about my show, during that Chi Omega party." He lowers his eyes to his hands, now fidgeting in his lap. "You were the only one who did."

"I can't imagine not wanting to see your performances," is the only thing you can think to say (you're too busy fighting the butterflies in your stomach), but it seems okay, because Soonyoung leans on your shoulder. That mop of blonde hair smells like oranges and the sun, and you lean right back into him.

Some unexplainable feeling threatens to claw its way out of your chest.

It's familiar, intimate, too intimate. Yeah, maybe he wiped your tears with an McDonalds napkin when you cried in the drive-thru the day after you broke up with Minghao, but this is different. It didn't feel like a facehugger from Alien was going to fuck your shit up, not even close. (Although, Soonyoung's shitty jokes and the piss-poor absorbency of the napkin were more reasons to laugh than to catch feelings.)

"I like that about you," Soonyoung says. "You care."

"What do you mean? Of course I care."

"I don't know." He slips into that mumble talk again. "Sometimes it seems like all I am to people is the life of the party, that's all. Just the guy who's really good at beer pong. You're different." A pause. "Although, you've gotta admit, I have saved your ass more times I can count."

"Ok, fair. Never said I was the better half of our team." And when you manage to make him laugh, you add, "And I like that about you too. I don't think anyone else in the world would have let me go on that long about 70 millimeter film."

He laughs again, a pretty one that blossoms from his chest and shakes the two of you, bodies still connected.

The sound lingers in the air, and you let the dusk and the crickets and the smell of his cologne wash over you. You like how your knees are touching, how he rests on your shoulder like it's the most natural thing he's ever done—it's different than the Soonyoung that clings to you, crying about the power of friendship, because he can't walk straight after two beers, but you like it. You're coming to realize that they're two halves of the same picture, the same Soonyoung with a heart he wears on his sleeve.

It feels like an eternity before he breaks the silence. He sits up straight, and your stomach folds into itself a little.

"Do you remember that kickback we went to? Right after my Swan Lake performance?" Soonyoung's voice is low, casual, like he's sharing a secret between you and the universe. "We played truth or dare and you said you wouldn't mind kissing me?"

"Thought you were too drunk to remember. Everyone else was," you laugh, suddenly feeling too shy to meet the gaze you know is falling on you. You're falling, falling, careening down a mile-long cliff, with no intention to stop—somehow it's that part that scares you the most.

The memory's another one of those in-betweens, forgotten glimpses of a boy you felt only you knew. The sweaty, euphoric, post-practice Soonyoung you bumped into when your political theory class ran late, the whispered jokes in between tequila shots, the stumbling, drunken conversations about the universe and everything in it on the long walks home.

The fact that all of these little precious seconds also lived in Soonyoung's mind, that they're as real to him as they are to you, makes your heart feel raw, seen.

"How could I forget something like that?" is his simple response. The gravity of the moment settles into your bones; you're breathless, giddy. "I'm asking because—," he pauses, taking your expression into his eyes, writing you into memory. The sudden intimacy of it all makes you want to cry. "Because I want to kiss you. Will you let me?"

The words hang in between you, just one more secret between you and the universe.

Maybe it's hopeless, maybe it's just another one of those passing moments, but you don't think you would ever forgive yourself if you let it go by. And so you close the distance between the two of you, feel those heart shaped lips on yours.

At first he's so gentle, as if he's buffering a little. And then he clicks into motion, heart possessing his body, and kisses you back like it's a fairytale.

"You make me so shy," he murmurs. You're so close, you think he can feel your heart beating out of your chest. "I almost chickened out of it."

He punctuates his sentence with another kiss, which you gladly lean into. This one is more giggly, impulsive (Sorry, I couldn't help it, he says against your lips, and you're so happy you could die right here, right in front of the lake in the middle of nowhere, in the arms of the stupidest, hottest ballerino you know).

"Shy? Me?"

"Yeah. You're cool, and you're smart and funny—" You watch him stumble over the words as you meet his eyes, which is so cute, it physically pains you. "And you're good at karaoke, which is really fucking hot."

"Oh, so that's what got you, huh?"

You remember the night he was talking about, the one right after you were positively sure you flunked your stats final, where you rolled into Jeonghan's frat house two hours late looking no better than a wet rat. You grabbed the mic and lost your goddamn mind, which in no way was attractive or sexy, but you guess Soonyoung's of a different breed.

"What can I say, I'm a simple man," he replies, nose pressed to yours.

You're soaking into the moment, the hazy warmth of the lakeside and the way your heart seems to leap right into Soonyoung's lap every time his eyelashes skirt over your cheek. And then you remember everything else, like the fact that this is not some Lifetime movie and that you still have to find a place to stay and a way to get to the beach tomorrow.

"We need to get a room."

"Already?" Soonyoung almost jumps out of his skin. "I, uh—"

"Not for that, idiot," you scoff affectionately. "We're stuck here for a night, remember? Before we get to, you know, the trip we're supposed to be on?"

"Ohh, fuck." He looks at you with those big, vacant eyes, and you know he's totally lost the plot. "How the fuck are we gonna tell everyone we're, like, a thing now? We're a thing now, right?"

"I hope so," you laugh, reveling in the relief that floods through Soonyoung's features. "As for telling everyone, I’m starting to think they set us up, actually. It all kinda makes sense now."

You're not exactly anticipating Jeonghan's shit-eating grin when you tell him it actually worked, but you know this whole plot was him looking out for you in his own special way. (You're not keen on finding out just how obvious your crush was to everyone except the two of you, though).

Although, it does kind of feel like a Lifetime movie—when you walk to the local motel, your hands brush against each other with all of the pent-up tension of a first love, until you finally just grab his hand and feel it melt into yours.

"I've always wondered what this would feel like," he says, thumb brushing over the back of your hand.

"What, holding hands? That's supposed to come before the first kiss, you know."

"I mean we can kiss again. And just forget about the first one if you want to do it in order."

Who are you to deny him, you think, and gladly, gladly indulge him.

"Were you in on this whole thing?" you ask when you're finally able to pull him off you.

"No, but I get why, 'cos I can't really keep a secret," he replies, sheepish grin on his face. "Oh, wait, so you're saying Jeonghan got us lost on purpose. Ohhh."

His eyes get all big and shiny, and you know you're down bad when you find the fact that he just got it more than a little cute.

If he weren't so convincing, though, you would have thought this was a group effort, because when you open the door to the only vacant room in the entire motel, there is exactly one tiny little bed.

"You've gotta be kidding me," you laugh, but the second you see Soonyoung drop all the bags to immediately begin building a pillow barrier, you fall for him all over again.

And as if on cue, your phone dings with a text from Jeonghan.

You owe me a drink, it reads. Classic.

#emerging from my dungeon w a nice fun fluff piece :)#everyone say happy (belated) bday mads!#mine #hosh #hoshi #hoshi fluff #seventeen #hoshi x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #hoshi scenarios #hoshi imagines #soonyoung #soonyoung imagines #soonyoung x reader #soonyoung fluff #lily destroys the tags <3

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taexual · 3 months

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I'm convinced each of the last 7+ parts have made me cry at least once, what

The chapter barely started and I was smiling like a fool already

Like "He followed you, beaming as if he were a ten-year-old who had just held hands with a pretty girl for the first time during fifth-grade recess." that's literally me and I'm not even there, him and I are the same, seriously, I love seeing a grown man cheesing because of his lover <3 <3

"Perhaps you were being unfair to her. But you could only judge her experiences through the lens of your own." Who needs therapy when you can find these gems in Tumblr, I in all honesty feel like this series is healing a part of myself that I have yet to start working on 💀

"It was your friends, too—the family you had found and did not even realise it. It was their patience, their courage, their certainty, and their belief." Like what do you mean, I don't know if you wrote this with the intention of making people tear up, but I'm shaking over here. I feel like I have the opportunity to understand and relate to these type of sentiments, in this moment of my life specifically, and you're putting it into words better than I ever could, so thanks for that

"You looked up to see a familiar jet-black hair, styled in an overly gelled quiff, eerily similar to the hairstyle Sid wore every day." and back to the bs, the groan I let out while reading this, because not this bitch again, I need him to get a life or pass to his next one, like immediately

And yeah, this is the definition of a Rollercoaster of emotions, you had me giggling, tearing up (those conversations hit really close to home, is not even funny), laughing at the girls moments and oc with jk at the end, and it was a nice change from the daily anxiety and stress 💜 thank u, I'll be patiently waiting for the next one, so take care honey c:

i am so so so happy that you've found parts that speak to you and parts that make you think, and that you've smiled!!!! and most importantly that it all worked as a temporary distraction from the stress in your life! you deserve peace and endless happiness and i love you!!!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍

and i hope you know that i am taking screenshots and saving this to an album called "😭🙏🏻" on my phone and i look at it almost every day when i start to edit the next chapter, so just thank you so much 🥺

#ask #alanniys #taexual; sleepwalking #i will be honest this chapter had me hitting the wall every single day for the past 2 weeks </3 #there was even a day when for the first time in a veeeeeeery long time i did not even touch the word doc #for 24 hours!!#when i'm normally so hyper focused on it that i add/delete bits and pieces every day #so your message.... 🥺 it's not even a reward it's a whole sense of renewed purpose 🤍🤍🤍

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broke-on-books · 5 months

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Got tagged by @threephantomrey on a reading game thing, it got long so it's pasted under the cut.

1) How many books did you read this year?

So many omg!! I logged 34 books on Goodreads but I only started logging there at the end of February. I also read a shitton of comics that I didn’t log there because I didn’t want to skew certain statistics and use a different app to log that. (Going by my rough math using that, I’ve read 360 individual comic issues in 2023, not counting rereads). So like I read a lot.

2) Did you reread anything? What?

Sooo much stuff. I just finished a reread of N. K. Jemisin’s Great Cities Duology like two days ago, which I cannot recommend more. Also reread 17776 recently, as well as a childhood favorite (The Fall of the Readers series by Django Wexler) over the summer. When it comes to comics I’ve also done a ton of rereading, most notably Emerald Twilight (Green Lantern (1990) #48-50) like 5 times for the most rereads, but I’ve also reread other faves (in whole or part) such as Wonder Woman: Historia, Batgirl (2000), and I’m currently doing a Green Lanterns (2016) read which has me brain diseased because I am actually obsessed with them SO bad. And I reread poetry constantly so there’s that too.

3) What were your top five books of the year?

I’m skipping this one honestly. I started thinking about it and it hurt my brain. Some standouts I haven’t mentioned yet though include The Fifth Season by N K Jemisin, The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin, The Last Speakers: The Quest to Save the World’s Most Endangered Languages by K. David Harrison, and The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Also like everything Greg Rucka did on Wonder Woman in the aughts (including the Hikateia <3333)

4) Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

Probably Greg Rucka is a big one, Would maybe count James Baldwin here but that’s iffy because I decided to start reading some of his stuff because I loved a poem of his I had read before this year (among other things). I would also say I discovered A. S. King this year, but I don’t know if I’d say I LOVE her writing, rather that I find it incredibly entertaining because of how batshit fucking crazy it is. Like no one else is on her level when it comes to insanity honestly (and I say this as a comics fan)

5) What genre did you read the most of?

I mean superhero comics probably, but also I read a good amount of poetry (as always) and some fiction.

6) Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Sooooooo much! Because I like so many genres I’m always reading like 10+ books at a time, and still a lot of stuff I just don’t get to. Some things I wanted to read include some poetry books I own, specifically my Most Famous Poems of All Time anthology (I think that’s what it’s called?) and my best of Antonio Machado book (bilingual edition!). There’s also a bunch of specific poems that would fall under this category. Also meant to read the Light of the Jedi by Charles Soule (and the rest of the main High Republic series), but that didn’t happen. Also I wanted to read some 90s Flash but it’s soooo long and I couldn’t justify starting it while I’m in the middle of so many things.

7) What was your average Goodreads rating? Does it seem accurate?

My average rating was a 4.2 which is pretty high. I’d say it seems accurate for the books I finished, but when you consider all my DNFs and comics it would definitely be way lower, as I quit a bunch of books halfway through for being terrible this spring that aren’t reflected, and also I read some really shitty comics for my faves this fall.

8) Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

No I didn’t meet them : ((((((((. I was pretty ambitious with the Goodreads goal (set for 100 books) so I’m not sad I didn’t meet that, but I was using those numbers to compete with my best friend on who could read the most, and I lost that (she had 43 to my 34) due to a slump in the early summer and another during the school year in the fall. For comics I recently hit 1000 issues read, so I’m happy about that mindset, and got my niche fave into my top 5 characters read so I’m pretty happy there. Still haven’t reached my goal of having Wonder Woman beat Batman for my top character yet, but that only emerged as an objective like a month ago so I’m not too upset.

9) Did you get into any new genres?

I’d say so, yes! In recent years I’ve done a lot of expanding my taste of books into different genres, and this year I think I read a lot of memoirs, (both traditional and fictionalized) than I ever did before. For traditional I read Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died and in terms of fictionalized, I read and enjoyed both Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. Next year I want to read more of this genre, especially getting to Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, which has been on my TBR for a while.

10) What was your favorite new release of the year?

New release… um…. Let me check something real quick. How have I read nothing from this year what. Okay I’m just going to stick to comics for this one and say Spirit World by Alyssa Wong was SO GOOD. Honestly may buy the trade for that when it comes out in April like I was loving that series sm. (also Wong is my favorite comic author currently writing. Although they’re not doing anything I’m interested in in 2024 it looks like : ((((( )

11) What was your favorite book that has been out for a while, but you just now read?

*blinks in classics fan* uhhh actually you know what. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner has been published for 231 slutty, slutty years and I only got around to it now. So that’s a shame. Also I read Huck Finn for the first time this year and that’s been culturally massive for centuries as well. Although the ending for that book was shit I really liked the rest. Tom Sawyer can actually die in a hole though I hate him SO much.

12) Any books that disappointed you?

SO MANY YES. I had a really long dnf streak in late spring of this year, but one of the books I couldn’t finish was one of the most hyped up books I’ve read this year, that being All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. Also I actually finished this one but I just hated Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard. Which like I’ve heard good things about this play and I had just finished Hamlet like a month or so before and just like. Idk it was bad I didn’t like it and thought it was super confusing. Maybe watching a stage production would make me like it more but like. It was not lit fam idk :/

13) What were your least favorite books of the year?

Those two for sure would be in there. Also just like the rest of my dnfs I guess. R & G was the only book I finished that I rated less than three stars on goodreads. OH WAIT COMICS. I read so many shitty comics oh my god. This could have gone in disappointments too but Green Lantern: Mosaic FUCKING SUCKED. Like jesus christ it was so bad I only made it three issues. It was such a disappointment too because it was a spinoff book from a really good arc imo (written by the worst human to ever draw air and write comics. Not an exaggeration) with cool ideas and characterization and then the actual book is like fucking. Horrific. Like he has the main character fucking graphically domestic abuse his girlfriend in front of her kid and then she forgives him and then she comforts him and it's just a hot mess of a book. Fucking awful. This summary doesn’t even begin to cover it.

14) What books do you want to finish before the year is over?

I told myself I would finally finish Muerte Bajo el Sol, the Spanish translation of Agatha Christie’s Evil Under the Sun by the end of the year but I very much lied there so yeah. I’ve been reading that book for so long I just need it over.

15) Did you read any books that were nominated for or won awards this year (Booker, Women’s Prize, National Book Award, Pulitzer, Hugo, etc.)? What did you think of them?

Oh yeah a ton. I like my books thematically crunchy so I generally search out award winners. I’ll be easy and say the Broken Earth Trilogy here, which I did love, although I think the first book was the strongest outside of the three. I won’t spoil but I was in the parking lot waiting to pick up my friend when I reached a certain point and I legit almost honked my horn in the senior parking lot. At dismissal. Also had a few great moments reading it where I realized that the author had read [insert classic here] as well and was drawing some inspiration for certain elements which I liked.

16) What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

All the Light We Cannot See for sure. It just wasn’t it personally.

17) Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Maphead by Ken Jennings lmao. I was given a metric ton of Ken Jennings books for Christmas 2022 (because I’m a MAJOR trivia/quiz bowl nerd and he hosts Jeopardy) but this was my favorite, and I really did like it. (especially the quiz in the back haha)

18) How many books did you buy?

No comment. The username is the username for a reason. No but uhhh for real idk. I used the libraries pretty heavily this year, so when it comes to like my own money then just two comic trades I think. Maybe some more poetry. I get given/ask for a lot of books as gifts so that’s where most of mine comes from. I got 9 books for Christmas like last week haha.

19) Did you use your library?

Yee! I used 4 different library systems this year, (high school, local public, college, and college local public) so I definitely made the most of it. Currently I have three library cards as I just applied for a new one in my college town using my dorm address lol. Oh and I got a few books from an informal swap library set up in a bookshelf right outside my summer job so that too i suppose.

20) What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

I’ll use Spirit World here because it actually came out in 2023 haha. I think it both met and surpassed my expectations, as the reasons I started the book were all better or just as good as expected, but also there were so many other elements that I thought were soooo good too so yeah.

21) Did you participate in or watch any booklr, booktube, or book twitter drama?

Nah idc about any of that. I listen to my friend complain about how shitty some of the popular tiktok books she reads are so that should count for something ig.

22) What’s the longest book you read?

The Fifth Season was 468 pages so that one. Shortest was Rime of the Ancient Mariner with 77 pages (although I think it was shorter tbh)

23) What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

According to Libby I think like an hour and a half for the Absolutely True Diary which is kind of crazy. (not counting the Rime here obviously) but generally it only takes me a couple hours for most books. Poetry collections and nonfiction are different though.

24) Did you DNF anything? Why?

SO MUCH. Why? Because it sucked. No but like I was trapped with my most accessible library from Jan - May this year being the one at my high school, which just had SO much YA and books for like. Middle schoolers. This was at a time where my tastes were maturing a lot and I really wanted serious books. So even recommendations I would get from the librarians for books during this time would fall flat just because they were too juvenile for what I was into.

25) What reading goals do you have for next year?

To beat my best friend in books read. Also like to try not to slump too bad and just like. Read a good amount. Finish my one spanish book so I can start my other spanish book. Have Wonder Woman beat Batman in my comic book stats. Yeah.

As for tagging uh idk im like really congested right now so like. people do whatever i dont want to have to htink of anybody to tag *thumbs up emoji*

#blah

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apoptoses · 6 months

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💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? | 💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! | 💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💫 ANY!! ALL!!!

Tell me what part you liked best, a line that resonated with you. Short comments, long comments that analyze my work and discover metaphors I didn't know existed, comments that tell me nothing but 'hey it's my fifth time reading this, it's so good'. I love ALL feedback and treasure every single comment I get.

And ALSO as a Smut Queen, I have to say, it's totally okay to tell me exactly which part of the smut you found the hottest. Like, message me on anon and tell me if leaving it in an ao3 comment is too scary. I love knowing what about the smut works and if you TELL ME I WILL PROBABLY EXPLORE IT MORE IN FUTURE FICS. Just saying. The only reason I wrote multiple medical kink fics is because people were super honest about finding certain aspects hot.

💌 So I'm finally starting to edit the 40k fic I wrote back in August and I'm just really excited to revisit post-canon Armand and Daniel! Outside of Blood Sanation I've done so little vampire!Daniel stuff and I think he's so fun. Getting Armand to revisit Venice, be a little vulnerable, and wrangle with his past is really tasty subject matter. And playing with Daniel's thoughts on family, his desire to remain (or not remain) in contact with his relatives- it's unexplored territory for me and I really loved writing it.

💝 lol Angle of Incidence! I expected ZERO response and yet that's turned out to be one of my fics that had the biggest reaction from readers. I was so so so worried about posting it because it wasn't like anything else I'd seen in VC fic both in terms of specific kinks, and also because it explored Daniel being extremely uncomfortable (even upset at times!) and liking it in the end. I thought it would be a really hard sell and yet people seemed to love it.

Also, the handful of fics I did that let Daniel be in charge. Love like Blood, Fade Into You, and Red Violent Red all have Armand giving over control at some point and I don't see that very much. So I wasn't sure if people would like it (or even believe Daniel could take the lead) but everyone seemed to buy into the concept and really loved it!

#apoptoses answers

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therealjambery · 10 months

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Writing practice, minimal editing, etc. I don't know where this came from. I know nothing about Batman comics. I love Jason Todd specifically because of some crossover Marvel fics (thanks so much for that, he now lives in my head rent free). I don't know where this is going, either. Enjoy!

Prompts from this post.

Prompt: "Batman won't like this" Fandom: Batman/MCU mash up Pairing: none Rating: Mature for Jason's potty mouth Words: 818

"Batman won't like this," Dick said.

Jason hefted the unconscious guy over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, staggering a little under his weight. Fuck, this guy weighed a ton. Did he have rocks in his pockets or what? "Batman doesn't like anything," he said, shifting the guy a little to the left. He definitely had knives in his belt, along with the maybe-rocks in his pockets. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him," he added, eyeing Dick meaningfully.

"Yeah, okay," Dick said. "But you know he's going to find out somehow."

"Not if little birdies can keep their goddamn mouths shut," Jason said. He turned his back on Dick and started jogging out of the warehouse. "Better get going," he called over his shoulder. "I rigged this whole place to blow in," he mimed checking his watch, "thirty seconds, give or take."

"Dammit, Jason!"

But Dick heeded his warning, and was gone by the time Jason reached the door and turned to look. He shouldered the door open, silently apologizing to the heaviest assassin in the world as his head knocked into the door frame. Seriously, so many rocks.

He managed to make it across the street to where his car was parked before the building went up in flames. He dumped the guy in the backseat and hopped into the driver's seat, peeling out before the secondary explosions started.

Five minutes later, the guy was awake and holding a knife to his throat in one swift move. Their eyes met in the rear view mirror. Above the mask, his eyes were cold, blue like deep sea ice.

"Yeah, no," Jason said, stomping on the brakes. He turned and punched the guy in the head, using his forward momentum against him. The guy's eyes widened before rolling back in his head as he slumped into the backseat again.

They narrowly escaped getting rear ended by a garbage truck. It swerved around them, horn blaring, and Jason stuck his middle finger out the window as he accelerated again. Clearly he didn't have time to take the long way home.

Home wasn't his real destination anyway, What, like he was going to bring Mr. Stab-First-Ask-Questions-Later to his apartment? Hell no, the dingy squat he kept for sketchy business meetings and late night strategy sessions would do just fine. There was a cot in the corner and even a bathroom with a working shower. Practically luxurious.

He parked in the back, dragging the guy out of the backseat and back over his shoulders. The elevator was out, of course - he wasn't sure it had ever worked, to be honest - so he was sweating and cursing by the time he hit the fifth floor.

The studio was small and gray, with one high narrow window running the length of the wall with the tiny kitchenette. It was just a sink and a mini fridge with beer. Tucked away in the cabinet were basic medical supplies and emergency whiskey. Dumping the guy on the floor, he stretched out his back and got himself a glass of water. He drank it leaning against the desk. Besides the cot and three chairs, it was the only other piece of furniture in the room.

"Okay." He set down the empty glass and squatted next to his mystery guest. "Let's see what you've got."

What he had was nothing. Nothing useful, anyway. Nothing in his pockets, not even rocks. Couple of guns, a truly beautiful collection of knives, various other fun assassin tools. But no ID, nothing that could identify him at all. Jason unclipped the mask and studied the guy's face. Cheekbones to die for, two-day old stubble, and - blue eyes. Oh shit.

Casually, Jason stood and stepped back, out of reach. "Hi," he said. He was kind of wishing he'd thought to take all the knives, given the scowl on the guy's face.

Wincing, the guy sat up and touched his temple, where Jason had punched him. He stood, slowly, arms held loose at his sides. He was wearing all black - boots, pants, and some kind of strappy leather nightmare around his torso over a long-sleeved black shirt. Black leather gloves, even. His hair was long, and he shook it out of his face as he glared at Jason.

"Where the hell are we?"

Jason could tell the guy was casing the place out of his peripheral vision, but was wisely keeping his attention mostly on Jason. Well, he was the most dangerous bastard in the room.

Then he took off his gloves, casually, and Jason saw the shining metal of his left hand.

Make that second dangerous. "Oh hell," Jason said. "You're the Winter Soldier."

The Winter Soldier crossed his arms. "Not any more," he said darkly. Then, in an accusing tone, he said, "You're Red Hood."

"Yeah, no shit, congrats." Jason gave him a lazy two fingered salute. "You figured it out."

#my fic #mcu #batman #jason todd

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gwilin-stay-winnin · 1 year

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Gwilin of the Day: "Mercurial" Gwilin

Today's Gwilin of the day is brought to you by: MelancholyAndBlithe on ao3!

Company During the Storm

Published: Apr 3, 2018

Rated: Explicit

Length: ~6500 words

Featuring: Male OC

Set in: Ivarstead

REVIEW

Uniquely among all the "gwilin" stories I've reviewed, this one left me feeling confused, intrigued, and conflicted.

This story opens to extensive descriptions of the stormy weather Ivarstead is experiencing. Gwilin makes his appearance working alongside Temba, stumbling in mud and struggling to go on with his work (and his life) due to the copious amounts of water raining down on them. To me, everything seemed to be setting up for a surprisingly gloomy story, which I sort of welcomed as an interesting direction for a smutfic to go in. The Russian novel vibes followed Temba and Gwilin as they sought shelter in the inn: we see lots of introspection from Gwilin. The vaguely melancholic thoughts floating around in his little coconut were mainly focused on the author's OC, Caspian; on wondering whether his long-past lover was out there somewhere, battling the crummy weather, as he was. All in all, a decent setup for the rest of the story's dominoes to tumble. The problem was, the dominoes tumbled not so much in succession as they did in sporadic bursts.

A big part of getting people invested in a story is being able to keep a continuous thread that the reader's mind can walk like a tightrope. The order information is presented in, and the severity of the information presented, dictates pacing. Once the mind connects images and ideas, these linger for a moment in the reader's attention, and either time must be allowed for these to be digested, or the next image or idea has to be quickly brought in and seamlessly connected to the previous.

Unfortunately, that happened rarely in this story. I had a lot of trouble reconciling and appreciating events as they transpired because of the rapid changes in direction the narration often took. It was either that, or things that could be understood from context were expressly stated, leaving the text feeling overbearing. So some moments felt very "non sequitur" and others just felt too "sequitur", if that makes sense. The sex scenes really suffered as a result of this, leaning more into the mechanical than the organic. More proofreading or editing would definitely have helped this story blossom.

I only mention this here and not in the Pleasure of Reading section because I struggled to see the Gwilin being presented through this sequential "noise". That made me sad because, all things considered, this Gwilin had some great potential. I really wanted to see him shine, but very little of his light came through.

The times it did, though, were a joy to read. Gwilin comes off as being so bashful in the beginning, with his trademark blushing and unwavering high spirits. At one point, he hopes, in his mind, that Temba will find happiness with a potential suitor, and that made me feel so much for his sweet little heart. Oddly enough, this specific Gwilin reminded me of Fluttershy, which is, uh. Certainly a connection my brain made. But, for a moment, that felt natural. And not at all unbecoming.

Once Caspian comes into the picture, there is a ton of apprehension on this Gwilin's shoulders. He swears that Caspian wouldn't have even remembered who he is, but he's proven wrong when the stately Redguard puts the moves on him. After that? My man catches fire. He gets into it. As the story goes on, he sort of oscillates between being at a more muted level of engagement with the sex, and catching a second, third, fourth, and even fifth wind.

He gets, like, almost enraged at some points when Caspian pulls the rug out from under him (edging him and whatnot), like his love language is vindictiveness or something. He gets so intense about it, it's like he's out for blood for feeling mildly slighted. The next second, he's cuddling and purring and planting kisses all over Caspian. Then he fucks like a champion. Then he's back to daydreaming about when he and Caspian will get to see each other again. Rinse and repeat, whiplash and sleet. And you know what? It's kind of fun to traipse along with.

This might be the most mercurial Gwilin yet. For that alone, I'm a fan of him. This Gwilin might be more at home on the SCP wiki than a Gwilin fanblog, but here we are.

The ingredients for a great Gwilin are all here. Truly. But I feel as though something got lost in “translation”.

Moment that my mind chose to fixate on: When the author described Gwilin swearing under his breath. It's just so him. I imagined him going "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" under his breath and that made my brain turn to mush 🥴

I. Compellingness

The only thing holding this Gwilin's compellingness back was that his character lacked cohesion. He felt more like a collection of loose, shifting images and traits more than one solid, integral Gwilin. That being said, his thoughts hit me like a brick most every time. And I found myself thinking, "You know what? Hit me again." 7/10

II. Swagger

This Gwilin is equal parts swag and swagless. I mean, just look at this line: “He felt himself bite his lip and while he'd hoped it looked even remotely sexy, he wasn't expecting a miracle.” I fucking adored this. Probably one of my favorite bits of characterization that I've seen for a Gwilin yet. It's the swagless whimsy for me. Ironically more swag than swag itself. 6/10

III. Talent

This Gwilin is a fuck machine. Seriously. And he has supersonic hearing, apparently. No other talents of note. 7/10

IV. Backstory

None presented, but this is a smutfic. Some wiggle room for this tally. 5/10

V. Pleasure of Reading

The whole reason I call this metric "Pleasure of Reading" and not "Quality of Writing" or something is because I don't think a story necessarily needs to be good in an objective, literary sense for it to be enjoyable, recommendable, or just plain fun.

This story was a real rollercoaster, honestly. Somewhere near the end, my attention lagged a bit, but, for the most part, I was eating it up and having fun taking it for what it is. I looked at it from the lens of camp, and, gosh, did it deliver from that perspective.

I loved this line, it really stuck with me for some reason: "He said softly, as if he was worried he'd wake him up even more." and I also loved short-clause descriptors like “Tease. Merciless tease.” that were sprinkled throughout. Really cool.

In general, the most polished moments of this story are where the text is kept brief and to the point. Everything outside of that may have been a little superfluous, but most of it threw me for a loop in a good way. 7/10

VI. Horniness

The characters' thoughts and actions were presented in too strange of an order for chemistry to really build between them and for a proper flow to be established. In this case, the sensuous and the desirous got muddled in a sea of sexual saturation. 3/10

Final Tally

autistic ass

gives this Gwilin a 6/10!

#gotd #6/10 #noperfs #gwilin #note: i edited one of the ratings here and bumped the final tally up to a 6 instead of a 5

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yourdenpadenko · 1 year

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I did my own personal script challenge to do one script every day from the start of October until Halloween! And I made it!

This was the fifth one that I did, and it's a bit long for a mini script!

I wonder which horror fans out there know what specific game character I referenced for this...

PoV:

You've been invited out on a cute little nature walk with a new friend...

Script text below~

Oh wow, today is so nice! Surprisingly warm for a fall day! Definitely not complaining though! Means we can be out here longer without freezing our butts off.

Thank you again, by the way, for coming out here with me. I really love walking on trails like this, but it always gets so lonely when I could out here [...] well [...] alone. But this is way more fun with you here with me!

I actually come out here quite a lot, actually. Or I try to, anyway. I love nature, and I especially love it around this time of year. The trees look like they've been painted and the sky always looks so pretty [...] I dunno, there's just something really great about fall.

Oh, look! Look at those deer over there! Oh wow, they're so cute! No no, lets stop here! I don't wanna disturb them while they're passing through. Oh look! There's babies too! Oh wow, they're adorable! Forest animals are actually pretty cool, you know? It's always so fun to run into them while walking. I've actually learned quite a lot about all the animals that live around this area because I keep going on all these walks and running into some of them.

Oh? You didn't expect that about me? I suppose I don't really make it that obvious, huh? But I'm sure there's a lot of things that you don't know about me yet.

Hm? How do you learn those things? I dunno [...]

I guess you'll just have to keep coming on these walks with me to find out.

Eldritch Moth logo by @VTuberQueenie on Twitter background and image edits done by @EbahZeb on Twitter

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jeff-from-marketing · 1 year

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So... tabletop roleplaying games, they’re pretty good!

As tempting as it is to just leave the post there and refuse to elaborate, I actually do want to talk about ttrpgs, both in general as a hobby but also some specific systems. Why? Because fuck you, this is my blog and I’m going to continue to make that your problem, that’s why! As will become the norm, I make absolutely zero promises on cohesion or this making sense. You have been warned.

So yes, ttrpgs are pretty great! It’s a wonderful combination of escapism, and just doing some silly shit with friends, and for my autism brain it’s great because the rules of the world actually make sense! Usually at least, but I may or may not get to that. Real talk, I genuinely believe that for most people there is some style of ttrpg for you out there. Obviously not everything appeals to everyone, and that’s okay, but there’s so many different styles of play and so many different systems to play that there’s a good chance there’s something out there for you. It goes far beyond just Dungeons and Dragons.

Though I guess that’s probably something worth talking about. I mean to be fair it’s hard to talk about ttrpgs without talking about Dungeons and Dragons specifically, as it’s kinda the “face” of the hobby. Heck, it’s the one I started with many years ago, and to be fair it’s much easier to go “hey, wanna try out D&D?” as opposed to any other system, just due to the sheer presence it has in popular culture. For something that’s somewhat a niche hobby, it’s actually fairly impressive come to think of it. But there’s some elements of D&D (and Wizard of the Coast’s handling of it) that kinda makes me wish it wasn’t the face of ttrpgs.

To preface: if you enjoy D&D fifth edition as it is, keep enjoying it! Do not let anyone shame you for what tabletop games or similar that you enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still grateful for D&D for getting me into the hobby, without D&D and the sheer staying power it has I probably wouldn’t have gotten into the hobby to have some good times. But, especially with the trajectory it’s taking, it’s hard to go “but why are you like this” sometimes. For starters, man does WotC absolutely fucking hate DMs and supporting them at all. Not only does basically every supplement they release lately seem to be almost entirely player focused, to the point of some books being like “I guess here’s some rulings for the main draw of the setting, but you probably shouldn’t use them,” but even the prewritten adventure modules (y’know, the things meant explicitly to make a DM’s life easier and give them something to run out the box) require so much work and messing around with to get to an even functional level. The prewritten modules for D&D 5e give the person running the damn thing very little to actually work with, and basically mandate that the DM effectively do WotC’s job for them and just finish writing the other half of the module before you can run it. Compared to something like Pathfinder Second Edition, where Paizo gives you basically any detail you could possibly want when it comes to running a module, and it’s kinda shameful honestly. Especially since the DM is the most important part of playing a ttrpg. Without a DM, you have no game. And yet knowing this, WotC seem to shaft them at every turn.

I suspect this is a part of why it’s so hard to find a DM for tabletop games. Even ignoring the fact that it is definitely a different style of play than being a player, if their only experience of DMing is with either incomplete materials or having to write out huge chunks of the adventure (potentially to just set that writing on fire later) then I don’t blame them for not looking forward to doing it more. I know that doesn’t apply to everyone, and that many DMs absolutely love making up entire campaigns, but that shouldn’t be the default expectation of someone coming into the hobby. They should have something they can fall back onto.

Making matters worse is WotC’s latest approach to lore and worldbuilding. Namely, their stance of “there can’t be controversy if there’s nothing that can be controversial!” They have been on one heck of a warpath to gut out as much existing lore of their setting as possible, with entire chapters now simply just being a vague paragraph or two instead. Exemplifying this behaviour of “no lore = no controversy” is the controversy with the Hadozee, a race introduced in one of the newest (at the time of writing) books that had some questionable lore (with what little it had). Instead of addressing this in any way, WotC’s response was to simply delete the offending segment and swipe it under the rug never to be spoken of. Again, not a problem for those who would rather make their entire world to begin with, but it absolutely sucks for a newer player or for someone who would rather have a world to get immersed into out the box. Compared to so many other ttrpg systems like Cyberpunk, Lancer, and Pathfinder, all of which are so rich and full of life and a lovingly detailed setting, D&D just saddens me. I mean sure, the Forgotten Realms were never my favourite setting of all time, but it was at least a setting that had a decent amount of fleshing out and things to work with. Now there’s basically nothing, but not so little as to be truly setting agnostic.

And I’m not even going into other issues like martial classes being incredibly dull, spellcasters overshadowing everyone, the action system being difficult to balance around, etc.

I guess what I’m getting at with all of this is: D&D has a lot of power to wield, and I feel like it’s squandered. It doesn’t look after DMs at all, making them more likely to burn out if they’re not interested in massive amounts of worldbuilding, and even players it does a poor job of catering to sometimes. Sure, most people may not even realise this when first getting into it, but that almost makes it worse.

But like I said earlier, D&D is not the only system in the world. I myself have largely moved onto Pathfinder 2e for my fantasy fix as it does many of the things I wanted from D&D. Though they are very different games, I probably wouldn’t recommend Pathfinder to players new to the hobby since there’s a lot more rules covering a lot more things, and it is a bit crunchier, but that’s also why I like it myself. I like the crunchy rules for my autism brain. Plus all the rules are available for free, and oh my god it’s just so gay and full of actual rep... I may have to make a separate post on it. If you want more sci-fi, there’s also Cyberpunk for, well, cyberpunk dystopia, or there’s Lancer if you’re more into giant mechs. I could have whole rants onto those on their own... and I may do that if I feel like it.

But holy shit this has already gone on too long. Let me reiterate: if you enjoy D&D 5e and don’t feel the need to change, then keep enjoying it. The hobby is a lot of fun, and there’s many ways to have that fun! And hey, it’s still the easiest way to get people into the hobby, and if you’re like me who’s a bit jaded on it then it works as an excellent gateway drug to go “well if you like that, wait until you try this!”

#ttrpg #holy shit I typed way more than I thought I would #someone please take this power away from me for the safety of us all #send help

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imthecleric · 2 years

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The Potential of Dual Classing for Will

This meta is an extension of my meta on Will’s DnD Class and how it affects canon, and that can be found here.

So first, I want to say dual classing is not multiclassing. While they are similar, they function entirely different from each other. In modern DnD Will could absolutely multiclass, and probably would. But I also fully would expect him to just roll a new character in modern DnD rather than try to retrofit his character to a different class, or just decide to start taking levels.

I also want to say I am using dual classing rather than multiclassing for this meta because 1e, the edition that would be used in the show does not really support multiclassing as in it wasn’t a thing. It did support dual classing, but it was super broken, hence the creation of multiclassing.

Anyways for all this to make sense I want to give the briefest of brief explanations of multiclassing so you can see just how different it is from dual classing. So multiclassing is something you can do starting at level two. Because the whole point is that you can take a level in what you choose. Most wait until at least level three. So lets give an example you are a level 15 bardlock (bard and warlock). You have five levels in warlock, and 10 in bard. Your spell list still allows for the amount of spell slots you get at level 15, but you can only get level 5 warlock spells, though you can cast them at higher levels because you are level 15. Multiclassing is also easier to build into a backstory as you can plan ahead for it such as this bardlock example (I am basing it off something) where they started out as a warlock and then found their calling as a bard.

So what about dual classing, now I don’t have the 1e player handbook, so this is going to be an approximation from what I can find from various places online. So dual classing is a bit brutal. I am going to use Will’s classes as my examples here because that is the easiest way for my brain to understand it. So lets say Will is a fifth level Wizard. He has all the aspects of a 5th level wizard, such as spell slots, and saving throws and HP, and XP. Now lets say he starts to dual class because El is taking the spot of Mage/Wizard, but Will doesn’t want to loose all his progress. Especially since it is already established the boys use the same characters from campaign to campaign over and over.

So when Will starts dual classing he essentially goes back to level one. He can access his HP from when he was a wizard, which is always laughably low, and whatever saves are higher. So Will has his 5th level wizard, and he decides to dual class to cleric. Will will start back at level 1 with cleric, but his HP remains where it was. His XP though is back at zero. Until his cleric reaches level 5 he cannot access the wizard spells and such. However once his cleric reaches level 5 he can regain access to his wizard spells, BUT he cannot level up with the wizard class anymore, he can only level up with the cleric.

I am pretty sure not every class or race is allowed to dual class, but I can’t find specifics on that, and I think the more intricate things deal with other classes. But I am also not going to entirely worry about it because this is my blog and I am desperately trying to work out Will being both a wizard and cleric in canon and how that affects real life events.

Alright so what are the implications of this in canon. Well first, it actually follows Will’s story line better. Will was a Wizard in season one, he has fireball by way of the gun, he falls, and for a while looses those abilities so he takes up new ones. Remember clerics gain their abilities from a deity and despite me saying Will has always had true sight, he does gain some powers from the Mindflayer, or at least he potentially did.

Season 3 and 4 are him leveling up in cleric, getting used to the class features and such. I therefore think that in season 5, we will see him back with the wizard abilities along with his cleric ones, but he will only foster the cleric abilities in growing.

While he is technically still a cleric he doesn’t then just loose the wizard abilities he had, he just had to remember he had them, or get to the point where he feels comfortable using them again. His wizard abilities after all are linked to his trauma.

I really hope this makes sense. It does in my brain.

#three: headcanon #four: meta #tw: long post

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wattpadscapcons · 3 years

Note

i actually listen to blackpink since they're like my second group to listen to. anyways thanks for answering my request!💖

if you don't mind, can i request some headcanons of leon from pokemon with an s/o from the real world? like they were travelling or something and feel asleep and then woke up to the pokemon with only their phone and bag and leon was the one who found them.

this is a very weird and specific request 💀 so im sorry for that. blame my hyperactive since they function differently when it's night lmao. also im nosey anon btw!

There's nothing really wrong with your ask, if anything the subject of jumping from your world and into a video game is something I thought about a lot.

I may just have to write this a little differently though? Because jumping through worlds is fine and all, but the establishment of a relationship is a little harder to establish with Leon's personality. He's helpful and compassionate sure, but most of his time is focused on securing his spot at the top as champion.

And the issue is where and how to explain the beginning of the story really. Do I start with the reader waking up in the game and just time skip like usual or do I have to go into detail of the establishment of a relationship with said character? Decisions decisions....

There could also be some kind of connection prior to the portal jumping that already has them in some kind of romantic relationship, like a dating sim dlc patch? I kinda like that idea....

ALSO THANK YOU FOR PICKING SOMEONE NEW! I love N to bits but the other characters deserve love too!

Edit: Hope you like ✨drama✨!

Leon w/ Real World S/O

- It's somewhat strange just how comfortable you've got being here, with him

- How are you not freaking out right now? You literally just jumped from the real world to a video game overnight

- The fact that him being the one to find you also seemed almost...planned out?

- Maybe downloading that Dating DLC wasn't a good idea after all, but you're still happy!

- "Y/N? Are you ok?" "Yeah." "You were spacing out again." "Just thinking." "About?" "How I actually got here..." "I've thought a little bit about that too.. Didn't come up with any good answers." "I'm just happy that you didn't let the fact that you're apart of a game bother you." "I mean if my presence is enjoyed by millions around the globe, then that just makes me happy."

"Do you think the dating dlc caused this?" "Y/N, I really...don't understand that part. You downloaded a dlc on a video game that was already out. Why?" "I plead the fifth for that answer." "You just wanted to be with me huh?" "Maybe..."

- He realized half way through you being here that everything he knows is just fabricated, and still seems to smile about it

- "Please don't tell Hop the truth. I'd rather see him continue on his journey happily instead of looking for a way to escape." "Leon, I would never want to cause harm to you or your family like that...I know that he's gone through way too much as is to get to where he is now." "You <played> as his rival. Throughout all of this... He really respects you."

"I....don't look like Gloria/Victor. I don't think he'll recognize me now." "It's ok if he doesn't. He can just get to know the real you, as Y/N L/N, instead of his programmed best friend." "Heh...the age gap is different too. I have no idea what to do as champion since "they" left. I'm so used to being in control of them." "I'm upset they're gone too, I have no idea what to tell Hop."

- You, your Pokémon, and Leon all end up trying to figure out how to explain some things to Hop without him getting upset for a little while, before going back to the beginning again

- "I feel asleep on a plane and woke up here. I didn't even have my Switch with me. I only had my bag and my phone when I woke up. Sort of like Gloria/Victor. Do you think that the code of the game is just having me replace them?" "I don't know. I'd hate to think we'd never see them again, even if they were just your placeholder. Have...you actually tried to call home?" "Yes. And I even looked through my contacts. They've all been altered."

"So, you're stuck here with me." "Is being champion as easy as it was out of the game?" "Huh?" "I'm the champion Leon. What am I supposed to be doing right now?" "Training I guess. You should probably take it easy for a while though, things do work differently here." "I remember the rules Leon, believe me."

- You actually checked to see whether or not that Gloria/Victor was at home by chance, their mom addressed you by name with a "Welcome home Y/N!" It's true, you really did end up replacing them

- Bede, Marnie, Hop and your pokémon all recognized you. Hop was the only one to notice that you were different now though.

"Y/N, you....look different now. I can't really tell what's changed...but somethings off. What did you do?" "Um... I changed my hair and eye contacts, as well as my clothes. I just felt like reinventing myself a little y'know?" "That's not what I meant...are you taller? You also...look older now.... What happened?" "Hop...I can't tell you. I'm sorry. But you're right, I have changed. I am older than you think I am." "I don't- I don't understand..." "It's ok, I didn't either when I woke up. It's just one more thing for all of us to get used to."

"I'm...I'm going to go talk to my brother...see you later Y/N." "....."

- Hop ended up going to Leon, very distraught, and asking about you. Leon did his best to explain (lie) and just told him he had no idea what happened to you. In the process, he told him that you two were an item now. To which Hop blew up on him, almost crying.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!?" "Hop please calm down." "Do you have any idea what I FEEL for them? DO YOU?!" "Hop, I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish. I don't expect you to accept it either. Please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you..." "I'm always going to be in your shadow Leon... When does the competitions stop...?"

----

"Guys!" "Y/N?" "What's with all the yelling? Hop?" "I'm...I'm fine. I'm just really upset right now....I need some air.... I- I can't stand being in this room right now... I'm sorry."

-------

"Leon?" "He blew up on me. I lied about knowing you've changed, but told him the truth about our relationship. He apparently had feelings for you as well." "Leon you couldn't have known." "I know...I don't pay enough attention to one of the most important people in my life. I...need to work on being a better brother."

"I really hate to say it this way but, Hop will move on. Ok? Don't feel bad, if he really wanted to be with me he would've said something." "I know, I know. Let's just...try to rest for today alright babe? I'm already exhausted..."

#pokemon leon #pokemon x reader #pokemon #pokemon headcanons #pokemon trainer #leon pokemon #champion leon #leon x reader #x reader #pokemon sword and shield

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exigencelost · 3 years

Note

I just wanted to read tumblr posts about abolition so I got into the habit of checking your blog every day, but the price is that now I have to read animorphs, so: Do you think someone who never read them as a kid (I found the book covers deeply off-putting) would appreciate them as a twentysomething if your posts are what draws me to them? Also, there is *so much* of it, what do I read and in what order?

Incredible work all around. By the way, everyone should feel free to block my #animorphs tag if you're trying to read abolition blogging without being inundated with constant Animorphs.

First question: Covers. So, the thing about the covers is they're immaterial to the actual text of Animorphs except for one fact, which is that the actual morph transitions are much, much, much more disturbing in text than they are on the covers. However I kind of just skipped over them as a kid and still instinctively sometimes do so as an adult, not because I find them upsetting but because they're not that essential to the action and I wanted to get to the next dramatic plot point. And skimming past the morph transitions usually doesn't impact the story in any way. So unless body horror is a prohibitive issue for you (in which case don't read Animorphs) don't worry about the covers.

Second question: would you like them as an adult if you're in it for the content in my animorphsposting. I'm biased here because I'm in it for the content in my animorphsposting and I like them as an adult. I would say yes if you're able to tolerate some nonsensical plot points and a decent amount of middle-grade-book-style filler and occasionally graceless prose. I recently described Animorphs as a profound and nuanced tragic war epic crammed inside a Goosebumps book. All the tragedy and amorality and intricate relationship dynamics that I'm talking about are actually there, I'm not just making this shit up. And a lot of the filler is fun. But they are still kids' books and they're written like kids' books and you have to be able to enjoy reading a kids' book.

Some stuff, like my whole take about Marco's drama about his mother mirroring the trauma of a child with an incarcerated parent, is me bringing my own sauce to the table and while I don't think I'm wrong, I do think it won't jump out of the text for most other people the way it does to me. But the thing about Marco and his mother sacrificing each other for the greater good and that being an unsettling but profound expression of love? Or Cassie almost causing the complete destruction of the human race out of a desperate refusal to destroy even one more person's life, and Marco's complete inability to comprehend that choice, and the narrative never treating either of them as correct or incorrect? That's text baby. These kids are fucked up.

Third question: Where to start. You have a couple options here.

The most straightforward approach is to start with book #1: The Invasion, and then read the whole series in order including companion novels in the order they appear in on this list of free PDFS. This is gonna give you the actual character arcs. It's also gonna give you a clearer picture of all the continuity errors and missed opportunities. This is not how I or most people my age read them as a child, because these pdfs didn't exist and you read whatever the library had in whatever order you could find it.

(The only way I might deviate from the sequence on that list is that I'd personally wait until the end to read the Ellimist Chronicles because if I remember correctly its framing device contains a pretty significant spoiler for the endgame of Animorphs and also, it doesn't really add anything to the actual progression of the series. It's a decent book on its own merits though even though I hate the Ellimist.

EDIT: I agree with the commenter that the other place I’d deviate from the order on the linked list is don’t read Andalite Chronicles until after #23. But honestly you can save Andalite for the end along with Ellimist, it’s whatever.)

(Also: the companion books you can freely skip on that list if you want to maximize Animorph Team Character Arc cohesion while minimizing extraneous alien nonsense are The Ellimist Chronicles and The Andalite Chronicles. Visser and Hork-Bajir Chronicles are both super relevant to the main characters' actual stories, IMO, and I personally feel that the Megamorphs books add character texture. Absolutely skip both Alternamorphs books regardless of what else you do. )

If you take this approach, I will advise that book #1 is not really at all representative of the Animorphs reading experience, and that they get increasingly Animorphs-y as they go but specifically if you don't enjoy #6: The Capture, you can give up, because you probably won't like Animorphs. They've reached full Animorphs by #6. The frightening levels of team cohesion, the terror of team PVP, the exploration of the broad tactical options available via morphing, the profound psychological horror of what the main villains are physically able to do their victims, the inability to protect your loved ones from institutional violence, the faith in your comrades' ability to protect you, the protagonist-perpetrated war crimes, the confrontation of your enemy's humanity even as it tortures you and as you wrestle the life from its body. It's all there.

Reading six of these books as a trial run is not as huge an undertaking as it seems. I can get through an Animorphs book in about four hours, less if I'm not trying to do detailed character analysis, and I'm a fairly slow reader. They're short and they're written for children.

The second option is just start with #6 and then decide if you want to go back and read the first five to find out how the team got here.

The third option, if you're drawn to Animorphs specifically because of my posting, is just fucking read Visser and call it a day. Half of what I have to say is about Visser specifically. It's definitely the most adult book on the roster and it mostly should hold up on its own.

Fourth option is what @creepsandcrawlers did which is to for some fucking reason read all the companion novels first, and then eventually get around to the main series. He feels this improved the experience and unlike me, he got into Animorphs as an adult, so I’m including this on the list even though I find it bizarre. Companion novels I think here means Hork-Bajir Chronicles, Andalite Chronicles, Ellimist Chronicles, and Visser, in no particular order. Not Megamorphs, which require you to have some familiarity with the main series in order to make any sense at all, and not Alternamorphs. Again I say to you that you should not read Alternamorphs at any point in any of these scenarios.

Fifth option is the classic, which is ignore the PDFs and just read whatever your library’s got and make up your own connective tissue for the plot arc as you go.

None of this addresses content warnings. If you want Animorphs content warnings hit me up for that separately, and if you want me to answer privately and in whatever level of specific detail, let me know. That would be its own very very long post.

#animorphs #metaposting

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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

Text

LOKI 4 PRESIDENT! For a narcissist trickster sorcerer with the personality of a praying mantis, there are few occupations in the world that would suit Loki better than president of the United States. A few years ago, in the summer of 2016, comic book writer Christopher Hastings imagined just that in a satirical limited series for Marvel titled Vote Loki.

Five years later, Vote Loki has found its way to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In the fifth episode of the Disney+ series, “Journey Into Mystery,” a variant Loki (still played by Tom Hiddleston) appears in the desolate “Void” surrounded by a Mad Max-esque posse. On Loki’s tattered blazer is a red, white, and blue “Loki” button, indicating this Loki was, uh, elected to lead. Turn on the subtitles on Disney+ and you’ll find this Loki is credited as “President Loki.”

In an email to Inverse, Christopher Hastings says he had no idea this was going to happen.

“I found out [they were doing Vote Loki] when a trailer for the show featured the campaign outfit from Vote Loki,” Hastings tells Inverse.

When Inverse exchanged emails with Hastings, it was prior to the episode’s premiere, to which Hastings said he was “very curious to see exactly what from the comic gets into the show.”

“I love time travel and multiverse material,” the writer says in praise of Loki. “I am a big fan of the TVA as a setting. I'm eager to see how it goes, and what it might mean for the next phase of MCU movies, especially since multiverse wackiness seems to be a major part of those upcoming movies.”

In 2004, while a student at the School of Visual Arts in New York City, Hastings wrote and illustrated The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, a serial webcomic about a doctor who is also a ninja. The series was a cult hit, at one point attracting 110,000 unique visitors a day. By 2011, Hastings was doing work for Marvel, writing single issues of A+X and Howard the Duck. With Chris Bachalo, he co-created Gwenpool — a bizarre blend of Spider-Man ex-girlfriend Gwen Stacy and Deadpool — and penned the 2016-2018 solo series The Unbelievable Gwenpool, teaming up with Japanese studio Gurihiru to create the character’s deeply unique comedic tone.

But during Gwenpool, Hastings spent the summer of 2016 playing with a different Marvel trickster: Loki. In the four-issue miniseries Vote Loki, Hastings spoofed the chaos that was the 2016 race between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. In Vote Loki, an ambitious Loki seeks the seat of the president with a very unique campaign strategy: being honest about lying.

With “President Loki” having a minor cameo in the MCU, Inverse caught up with Hastings to look back on his explicitly political riff that took place inside the Marvel Universe.

This interview has been edited for clarity.

Take me back to the origins of Vote Loki. When did the seed for the story plant in your mind? What was going on in the world of culture/politics at that time?

Gosh, it's tough to come up with one thing specifically, because we were making the comic by the seat of our pants, and so many things got scrapped and rewritten along the way, often at the last second. But one of the core topics I wanted to cover had to do with narratives versus reality. It's kind of a given that in the world of politics, truth is this malleable thing, and now more than ever all you have to do to make people believe a lie is to repeat it enough times.

I liked the idea of Loki playing with narrative in a way that wasn't necessarily outright lying, more bending. (Except the bit about being born in Maryland. One outright lie there.) The other driving point I wanted to explore was how Americans can have a tendency to incorporate their national-level politics into part of their identity, and what that does to a person, particularly when a character like Loki is the one on the ticket.

What sort of conversations did you have with Marvel about a political satire starring Loki? What was the elevator pitch that got approval?

Like I said, things changed so many times, I'm not even entirely sure how many versions were kind of approved and then scrapped on the way to get to what was actually published. I think it was more that I assured editor Wil Moss that I could jump on the book (which Marvel was determined to make; they just hadn't decided who was writing it when I was pitching) after talking about the stuff about narrative and identity, and the basic idea that the viewpoint character shouldn't actually be Loki but a journalist covering Loki's campaign.

Vote Loki introduced the character of Nisa Contreras. What was the primary inspiration for her?

That would be my real-life friend, Nisa Contreras. She's not a journalist, but she’s someone I'm sure could take down Loki if he were a) real and b) got on her bad side. I wanted the story to be more about witnessing the tension and the comedy of Loki running for president, about not knowing what was up his sleeve. And so I came up with [a] journalist.

Vote Loki was published over the summer of 2016 when the election was ramping up in awkward ways. (“Pokémon Go to the polls!”) Did the real election influence the comic in any way, including any specific moments?

The comic was a direct response to things that were happening during the 2016 campaign, specifically that a “joke” candidate that was obviously terrible could get pretty far with enough media oxygen and a comfortable political system that ignored the disgust a lot of people had with it.

Vote Loki ran for four issues. Was there ever a possibility for more?

If it was a smash hit, I believe there would have been a President Loki to directly follow Vote Loki.

What do you think of Vote Loki's inclusion in the TV series?

Top five surreal moments of my life.

Do you think Vote Loki could be the focus of its own adapted series/movie?

Oh for sure. You wouldn't even have to take the material from our comic; there's so much more brand-new political madness that a new Vote Loki series or movie could tap into.

A lot has happened in the five years since Vote Loki was published. What are your feelings looking back now in 2021? Did your opinions on the book ever change?

There was a lot happening in American politics in 2016 I missed and wish I had been able to see to include. For example, how broken political polling has become. I had no idea, along with the rest of the country.

It was tricky to do a cohesive narrative amongst a shifting Marvel continuity we had to stay inside; a lot of feedback and demands from various sources within the company and an election that was changing every single day. It was truthfully (heh) a quite stressful book to write, but looking back on it I'm proud to see what we absolutely nailed about American culture. In particular, what we had to say about politics as entertainment and identity, and how a slippery enough politician can not only shake scandal [off] by speeding up an already fast news cycle but embrace and twist it to their advantage.

LOKI WILL AIR ITS FINAL EPISODE JULY 14 ON DISNEY+. VOTE LOKI IS AVAILABLE NOW.

#President Loki #Vote Loki

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felassan · 3 years

Text

Mass Effect development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

This is the Mass Effect version of this post.

[In case you can’t read it the subtitle in the bottom left logo above is “Guardians of the Citadel”]

Note: Drug use is mentioned.

Cut for length.

Mass Effect 1

ME began its life in a vision document in fall 2003

Codenamed “SFX”

Conceived of by Casey Hudson and a core team from KotOR. Its genesis was the intention to create an epic sci-fi RPG in an original setting that BioWare owned (so they could have full creative control), and in a setting that was conceived of first and foremost as a video game

Initially players could control any squadmate, but they wanted it to be about Shep and for players to be focused on Shep being a battlefield commander, rather than on switching bodies

By the start of 2004 its story was shaping up. Initially humans landed on Mars in 2250 and discovered evidence of an ancient alien race and a powerful substance, Black Sand, which rapidly advanced tech to the point that FTL travel was possible. (My note: obviously now the Prothean artifacts on Mars & associated mass effect force tech enabled this in the final canon, but I wonder if aspects of the ‘Black Sand’ naming-type & powerful substance stuff was rolled into red sand from final canon) Humans were suddenly capable of travel to multiple star systems and made contact with a multitude of other species. At the start of the first game, these species together with humans had a fragile peace, with focus placed on the political center of the galaxy, a hub known as Star City, later renamed the Citadel

Multiplayer was a vision for the series as far back as 2003. The plan was for ME1, an Xbox exclusive at launch, to take advantage of the platform’s online components. Early designs saw players meeting in one of the central hubs to interact and trade items in their otherwise SP adventures

By 2006 it had the name ME and the story was more specific, with the theme of conflict between organic and synthetic lifeforms. The story’s scope now stretched across 3 games and included scope for full co-op MP

They tried to do MP in every game, discussing it from the get-go, but it always just fell by the wayside. “When you’re trying to build something that is a new IP, on a new platform, with a new engine, you’ve got to really focus on the core elements of the game.”

The conversation system prototype was made in Jade Empire, and some of ME’s earliest writing was done in an old JE build. At first there was no conversation wheel. Paragon was “Friendly” and Renegade “Hostile”. In the prototype Shep was a silent unnamed Spectre. Many conversations in the prototype about the player’s choice in smuggling a weapon through Noveria made it into the game

In said prototype a merchant referred to themselves as “this one”, though the word hanar never appeared. The PC in it also had the option to end a conversation with “I should go”. In the prototype also, Harkin was voiced by Mark Meer

An early version of the Mako got used as the krogan truck in ME2

Early concepts of the Citadel were drawn in pencil by CH. A piece of concept art of its final design was painted based on a photo of a sculpture near Aswan, Egypt

As with any new IP naming it was a struggle. They put out a call to all staff for ideas, did polls, made a name generator that combined words that they liked in random ways and made pretend logos of ones they liked in Photoshop to see if they could make themselves love the name or find visual potential in it. (Some of these names are in the pic at the top of this post.) CH liked “Unearthed” as it was a reference to Prothean ruins dug up on Mars and humanity’s ascendance going away from Earth. They knew the game would have a central space station featuring prominently so some of the ideas were based on that - “The Citadel”, “The Optigon”, “The Oculon”. “Element” was another one they had in mind due to the rare substance in the game

CH: “I was a big fan of John Harris’ book Mass, which had epic-scaled sci-fi ideas, so that was a word that came up often. Many of the names came from the idea that the IP featured a fifth fundamental physical force (in addition to the known four of gravitational, electromagnetic, strong nuclear and weak nuclear) so the word ‘effect’ came up pretty often.” Ultimately none of the ideas really felt right. One Monday morning they were going over the names and Greg Zeschuk said he had an idea on the weekend: “Mass Effect!” CH: “I said, ‘I don’t hate it’, which in the naming process is a high compliment. And it stuck!”

CH on Shep’s Prothean vision from the beacon: “It was hard to imagine how we would do this. CG was - and is - really expensive. Instead I wanted to try doing it through photography and video editing. So I went to a local grocery store and bought a few packages of the weirdest looking meat that I could find. Then I set up a little photoshoot in my basement, complete with some electronics parts and some red wine for juicyness.” He used these props to create a video sequence where the photos were rapidly cycled and blurred, along with production paintings, to create the scary vision an organic/machine experiment on the Protheans. These mashups were also used as inspiration for concept artists and level designers who were working on these themes

Tali used to be called Talsi

On the licensing side they often joke that they’re licensing N7 not “Mass Effect” due to N7′s popularity

There was a confidential internal guide to the IP in 2007 to help devs along and summarize/synthesize the vision etc. Some excerpts from it are shown in the book and this is the first time the public have ever seen them

Early versions of Asari had hair

Asari were designed as a nod to classic TV sci-fi (with human actors wearing obvious makeup and prosthetics to play aliens)

The turian design guideline was “we want them to be birds of prey”. They also wanted a range of alien types, some close to human like Asari, while others were to be a lot further away, like turians

BioWare patented the conversation wheel, which was a first for them. CH had been frustrated with reviews of Jade Empire that said that the actioncentric game was too wordy [with its list dialogue]. “I’m like, story is words. [...] What is it about our games that is making people feel like they’re wordy?” Then he thought “In a game you kind of need to feel like you’re continuing to play it. Maybe you should continue feeling like you’re playing it actively into the dialogue.” “[The wheel] kind of gave a new experience with dialogue when you did start to react based on emotion, and that’s ultimately what we’re trying to bring out in our games”

The original krogan concept was based on a bat “with a really wide squidgy face. We just used its face on top of this weird body and it kinda worked”

Geth musculature was based on fiber-optic cables, with flexible plates of armor attached

The vision for the IP was 80s sci-fi inspired space opera

The concept art of Saren lifting Shep by the throat inspired a similar scene in-game. The staging wasn’t planned til designers saw that art

A squadmate with Shepard on the way to meet Ash in an old storyboard was called Carter. Early name of Kaidan or Jenkins?

Bono from U2 was kinda instrumental in bringing us ME lol

Finding the right cover art for ME1 was notably tricky

Matt Rhodes got his start drawing helmets for ME1, including one which would become Shep’s “second face”. He estimates he drew between 250-270 different ones

Some of the sounds in-game were people smashing watermelons with sledgehammers and sticking fists into various goos

The audio team had fun trying to slip the iconic main theme into unexpected places throughout the MET. “We were very aware of how powerful that track was for the fans and it was tempting to overuse it for any moment we wanted to make really emotional”.

The theme was creatively repurposed in ME3: slowed down and reworked as the ambient sound for the SR-2. “If you listen to it for a really long time, just stand in the Normandy and listen, you’ll actually hear the notes change slowly. It doesn’t sound like music, it sounds like a background ambiance, but it’s there.” (My note: Well no wonder the Normandy feels so much like home?? 😭 sneaky..)

Bug report: “Mako Tornado”. There wasn’t enough friction between the tires and the ground, causing testers to lose control of the vehicle and send it spinning into the air like a tornado. “As it turns, the front end comes up, and then it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning faster and faster and faster until it just flies up in the sky” (My note: Sounds like a regular day in the Mako to me)

Cerberus originally had a bigger role in this game. It was cut but they had a whole explorable outpost. “I called it Misery,” says Mac Walters, “It was this planet with a little outpost that said ‘Welcome to Misery’”. Everything on the outpost was shit - dirty worn stuff, no windows, no kitchen, the vehicle bay was open to the elements etc

The Reaper sound is literal garbage. Some audio designers went on a recording trip to a national park. One of them got fixated on a garbage can, “a metal bear-proof receptacle with a heavy lid that creaked horribly when opened”. “It was like, ominous, spooky, tonal and almost musical. I decided to throw a mic into the garbage and record it moving. I didn’t know what it was going to be until later”

They were making lots of noises to record like throwing logs and rocks around. An old couple peered at them through the window of their camper van in the woods and must have called the cops because then the cops showed up, pulled them over and told them to stop. The cops towed their car (the driver’s plates were Cali plates and expired), drove them to Edmonton outskirts and then the audio producer Shauna got a call and had to go pick them up “like three little boys”. “We got a stern talking to”. Once back they were playing around with the garbage sound, editing it etc. Casey heard it and proclaimed “That’s the sound of the Reapers”

Preston Watamaniuk: “There are things I could have done to Mass 1 to make it an infinitely better game with better UIs” and some simple cuts and changes. “But when you’re living with it, it’s very hard to see those things”

BioWare Labs

As social media and smartphone games exploded, BioWare dedicated a small team dedicated to exploring opportunities here - BioWare Labs

Mass Effect: Galaxy used a unique graphic art style and static visual presentation common in visual novels. It has the distinction of being the only iOS game BW have made during their first 25 years

Scrapped ideas were a 3rd person space shooter called Mass Effect: Corsair and 2 DA titles - a strategy game and a top-down dungeon crawler starring young Wynne. (My note: Maybe the corsairs stuff was rolled into Jacob’s backstory in 2, the Alliance Corsairs)

Corsair was a very short-lived project that never got its feet under it. It was a spin-off on Nintendo DS featuring a behind-the-ship perspective and branching dialogue. At one point it had MP. The idea behind it was basically “ME: Freelancer” - fly your ship around, do missions, get credits. It had a limited branching story but was a gameplay-centered experience intended to fill the gap between ME1 and 2. That gap ended up being filled by Galaxy

Galaxy and Corsair’s smaller screen allowed concept artists to use bold colors and a simplistic character design style to help those games stand out from Shep’s story

Nick Thornborrow did some art for Corsair but was worried his art style didn’t fit ME. He moved to DA where he feels his art style fits better

Lots of BioWare VAs and even a lead writer and the VO director are drawn from Edmonton’s local community theater scene, which is vibrant. Think this is how Mark Meer got involved

Mass Effect 2

Player choices carrying over was a first for BW

Dirty Dozen-inspired plot

Its plot is a web of conditionals (see Suicide Mission)

Was more of a shooter than anything BW had made since Shattered Steel

There was 2 camps on the team, those who wanted to push combat and systems forward and redefine the ME experience and those who wanted to make a true sequel, with the same gameplay and systems but a new story. Karin Weekes: “I think it ended up being a good push-pull. It felt like a pretty healthy creative conflict”

“ME2 was a game you could hold up to someone who argues that games aren’t a serious medium and go ‘Oh yeah, then why is Martin Sheen in this?’” Sheen was their first pick for TIM

The idea for TIM came from a mash-up of concepts CH had collected over the years. The name “Illusive” originally came from his pitch for naming DAO’s Eclipse engine, a word inspired by Obi-Wan’s line “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something... elsewhere. Elusive”. “I thought, what if we called our next engine 'Elusive', but used an ‘I’, and then it’s like ‘Illusion’. [...] I still really like the word with an ‘I’ and what it conjures”

When ME1 DLC was in production, CH had been watching a lot of CNN, specifically Anderson Cooper. “How is one guy travelling to all these places and never looking tired and always being able to speak with clarity?” CH says it seemed almost superhuman. “What if there was someone who is the absolute maximum of the things you would aspire to be, but also the worst of humanity?” Cooper, though not evil, became an inspiration for TIM down to the gray hair and piercing blue eyes

Inspiration for TIM’s behind-the-scenes role pulling political strings came from Jack Bauer’s brother Graem in 24. Graem “can call up the president and tell him what to do and hang up, because he’s so connected and so influential”. Sheen had played a president and his performance brought gravitas and wisdom to the role. He had quit smoking, but the character smokes. He didn’t want to fake it, but he also didn’t want to smoke, “so he actually asked for a cigarette” to hold so he could stop his words to take drags with natural cadence

Writing was still pushing to write and revise lines hours before VO started. A series of problems like injury and some writers leaving for other opportunities left it so that Karin, Lukas Kristjanson and editor Cookie Everman hand to land the story safely, with PW helping where they could. Lukas: “We took over the writing bug and task list, and I can’t stress enough how much [Karin and Cookie] did to get ME2 out the door. There’s no part of that thing we didn’t touch”. Karin: “That was the most dramatic 2 weeks of my life”

Initial fan reaction when they started promo-ing ME2 was very negative because people didn’t want to know about new chars like Jack and Mordin. “[fans were like] ‘Get them out of here. We want our characters from the first game’. But then when they played them, those became some of the most popular chars [of the series]”

Concept art of Thane has an idea annotation saying “Face can shapeshift?”

At one point when designing Thane concept artists sent multiple variations of him to the team asking them to vote on which was the most attractive

Most of the Normandy crew was written by lead level designer Dusty Everman. Lukas gave him advice in the evenings between bugs

BioWare Montreal made ME2 and 3 cinematics

CC for Shep was based on tools used by char designers to create in-game chars. Under the hood similar tools existed to create aliens

Aliens were much easier to animate than humans. When something is human it’s very difficult to make it look realistic and you can see all the mistakes and everything

Over the holiday period in 2007 CH worked out a diagram on a single piece of paper that would define the entire scope and structure of the game. The diagram is included in the book

Bug report: “I shot a krogan so hard that his textures fell off”. At one point shotgun blast damage was applied to each of the pellets fired, and shot enemies ended up with just the default checkerboard Unreal texture on them after their textures got blown off

Blasto was meant to be 1 step above an Easter egg but his fan popularity prompted them to bring him back in ME3

They rewrote chunks of Jack 2 days before she went to VO. She was the only one they could change because all the other NPCs were recorded. They redesigned her mission by juggling locked NPC lines and changing Shep’s reactions by rewriting text paraphrases to change the context of the already-recorded VO

Lukas snuck obscure nods ito ME2′s distress calls. In the general distress call for the Hugo Gernsback, there’s BW’s initial’s and Edmonton’s phone number backwards. In a fault in a beacon protocol there’s the initials and backward phone number from Tommy Tutone’s “Jenny”. In 2 other general distress calls there’s initials and numbers from Glenn Miller Orchestra’s “Pennsylvania 6-5000″ and initials and numbers from Geddy Lee and Rush’s “2112″ respectively

Mass Effect 3

“The end of an era marks the beginning of another”

ME3 “marked the end of Shep’s story”

Saying bye to Shep was as difficult for devs as it was for players

JHale’s final VO session included Anderson’s death and romanced Garrus’ goodbye. “We were in the session and we both just started crying”, Caroline says. “I couldn’t come on the line to give her notes because I was crying, and she was crying. And so there was just this minute-long pause of like, nothing, nothing, nothing - just silence through the airwaves. And then I came on and just told her that I was crying and she said ‘I’m crying!’” They talked about these anecdotes also here on the N7 Day reunion panel

The Microsoft Kinect voice support required devs to teach Kinect hundreds of commands in a variety of accents across multiple languages. The result was useful but made for some awkward moments. Numerous players accidentally said “geth” or “quarian” while making a particular decision and accidentally killed Tali

MP chars were voiced by cops and military people

The helmet on one of the MP chars was originally designed for cancelled project Revolver

The payload device at the end needed to attach to the Citadel while essentially serving as a giant trigger. “It ended up becoming quite the engineering feet just to visualize how this thing would move and connect to the Citadel”

Concept artists explored creating an anti-team, where Kai Leng was almost an anti-Shepard essentially, with an elite squad to counteract your team. This idea never went beyond concept phase

ME3 Special Edition was released on Nintendo Wii U exclusively. This exclusive version of the game includes Genesis 2 (a sequel to the original Genesis comic) and unique gameplay features that took advantage of the touchscreen GamePad. For years Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood had had the honor of being BW’s only game made for a Nintendo console

FemShep regrettably didn’t feature in major ME marketing til ME3. Later releases like DAI, MEA and Anthem have taken increasing care not to gender their protagonists in cover art

To capture combat sounds they took a trip to CFB Wainwright, a military base southeast of Edmonton. They got a big tour of it and were allowed to record anything they could find. The tour ended with them getting to drive and shoot tanks (real shells). The force of doing that sent waves through Joel Green, he felt his whole chest compress when it went off; the perfect sound for the Black Widow! After the trip the soldiers let him keep the shell he fired and it’s been passed on like a torch to various devs since

Kakliosaurs began life as a joke in the writers’ room after John Dombrow placed a Grunt figure on a t-rex toy he had on his desk. Lore was brainstormed to justify the mash-up before someone asked, “Why don’t we put this in the game?” They loved it so much Karin had custom coffee mugs made

Bug report: For a while Tali’s final romance scene would fire when she was supposed to be dead

“Balancing combat: how designers in ME3 entered an ‘arms race’” - the solution to players feeling OP vs players feeling frustrated by really strong enemies is to find a good middle ground, but for designers Corey Gaspur and Brenon Holmes, it was war. Brenon designed enemies, Corey designed guns. Corey “was obsessed with bigger, heavier guns. We had this sort of informal competition where he’d make this crazy overturned gun that would just murder all the enemies, and then I tuned some stuff up to compensate”

Brenon had to invent new ways to “stop Corey” and this led to the Phantoms. Corey had in turn designed consumable rockets that could wipe out entire waves of enemies. He must’ve figured this would make short work of Brenon’s space ninjas, but Brenon had other plans: “I had just added the ability for her to cut rockets [when Corey was playing MP and he was watching]. She cut the rocket in half... Corey just turns and looks at me and is like: ‘Really dude? I just shot a rocket at this Phantom and she’s fine? Not even damaged? Zero damage?’”

This friendly rivalry helped elevate ME3′s gameplay. Corey had a knack for making a gun feel so good to fire it had his fellow designers scrambling to keep up. It was his version of balancing. Before Corey sadly passed away he mentored Boldwin Li in all things weapon design and the arms race continued

Corey designed the Arc Pistol. It was causing problems for enemies because it was too powerful. It seemed hell bent on staying that way, Boldwin would tune down all its stats and it was still doing 3x the damage it should have been doing. “I was like ‘What the hell?’, and then I looked closer. It secretly fired 3 bullets for every pull of the trigger! Corey, you sneaky jerk”

The day it launched there were midnight launch parties across North America including one near the BW building. Numerous devs sat at long tables greeting fans and signing autographs as the fans picked up preorders. When midnight struck the line was long enough that it took several hours for some fans to get their game. One particular fan is remembered: “It was 3am. Some guy drove up from Calgary with his friends. He was like one of the last people in line. I think he was sort of tired-drunk. He threw himself across the tables, pulled up his shirt and shouted ‘Guys, sign my abs!’ And like I did, because he waited so long. It felt impolite not to. So I hope he enjoyed his copy of ME3″

For designing Protheans concept artists had free reign to design something that read as ancient

Before the concept art team had the story of the game to work toward, they explored wild ideas of their own including an image of the crew stealing back the Normandy to go after the Reapers

Jen Cheverie was testing scenes and was initially excited to be testing Mordin scenes, til she saw she was testing the Renegade version of his death. “This is even before like all of the audio and everything was in, so you didn’t even have the sad music. I remember sitting at my desk and my hands just went to my face when I saw that the gun Shep pulls on Mordin is the gun he gives Shep in ME2. I burst into tears and was crying for the rest of the day. People are waving to me as they walk by and I’m like, ‘It’s ok, I’m just killing my best friend’”

There’s a segment called “Shepard’s story ends”. Casey on the ending: “There’s a whole bunch of things that come together to make it incredibly tense and emotional for players. I think the biggest one was the sense of finality, that whatever it was that happened in that very last moment... was it.”

Wrapping up the story was a massive feat. In a way all of ME3 is an ending. Its final moments were the players’ last with a char they’d been with all the way from Eden Prime

“And while the critical reception of the game was extremely positive, many fans were unsatisfied with the ending, which became one of the most controversial in the history of games.” CH: “We were, on one hand, at the end of a marathon trying to finish the game and the series. But as devs we also knew that there would be more. We knew that we would continue to tell the story. In retrospect, we didn’t fully appreciate the tremendous sense of finality that it would have for people”. He envisioned an ending that posed new questions, something in the tradition of high sci-fi that left players dreaming about what that particular galaxy’s future could hold. “Frankly, there’s a lot more that we could have and should have done to honor the work players put in, to give them a stronger sense of reward and closure”

AAA games are massive undertakings with a million moving parts. Somehow they come together but even the best-planned projects don’t turn out quite like devs hope. From start to end video game production is a series of compromises. It’s rare if not impossible for devs to ship a game they’re entirely happy with. “I think that people imagine that when you finish a game, it’s exactly the way you wanted it to be. But whether people end up loving or hating the final result, we work hard to finish it the best we can, knowing that there’s a lot we would have wanted to do better. I think that’s true of any creative work”

As the dust settled after the initial reaction to the ending and later its epilogue, meant to show the wide-reaching ripple effects of Shep’s final choice, “players emerged mostly asking for one thing”. CH: “Now, most of what we hear, after both ME3 and MEA, is ‘Hey, just go make more Mass Effect’. And that to me is the most important thing. Knowing that players want to return to the ME universe is what inspires us to press on and imagine what comes next”

Mass Effect: Andromeda

By creating a new ME in a new galaxy the team was challenged to put their own visual stamp on the game while keeping it true to the franchise

Being the first ME game on a new gen of consoles meant for more detail

“Massive transport ships called arks populated with salarians, turians, humans, asari and quarians” made the risky jump to the Cluster

MEA was the first time BW had truly codeveloped across 3 studios: Edmonton, Montreal and Austin. The bulk of the work especially early on was done in Montreal, which was composed of a handful of Edmonton expats and heaps of experienced devs who joined from elsewhere specifically to bring a new ME experience to life. Series vets in Edmonton then came on to contribute writing, cinematics, design and QA, along with leadership from creative director Mac Walters and the core Production team. Austin writers and level designers also joined the fray

“It took a new team to take ME beyond the Milky Way”

Mac: “A lot of people in Montreal joined BW as fans of the franchise, so they just had this passion, and it felt like it was more like the days of Jade Empire, where a smaller younger team gets to do something for the first time. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a new IP for me, it felt fresh and new because of that. The team was just super excited to be working on it”

Early plans had the player exploring hundreds of worlds, procedurally generated, allowing for a nearly infinite variety of experiences. But as development wore on, it became clear that the game narrative required more specific, hand-touched level design on each world to keep the story focused and the experience engaging. “The plan was to give players numerous uncharted worlds to explore. Designers worked hard to come up with procedural elements that would make such planets special. Eventually the team made the difficult decision to abandon procedural planets in favor of more memorable hand-touched alien worlds, each with a specific story to tell”

One challenge was defining what ME meant without Shep. Care was given to include many of the MET’s key species. “Ryder recruited turian, asari, krogan and salarian followers”. Like Shep Ryder represents humanity’s hope for a peaceful coexistence among aliens who had long operated without human contact

Beginning with MEA the team decided that with few exceptions vehicles in ME have 6 wheels. Early Nomad concepts were bulkier. Later ones focused on its ability to move over its ability to protect itself from hostile fire, underlining the themes of exploration

German concept designer and auto-motive futurist Daniel Simon was contracted to create the Nomad and Tempest. The Tempest’s final design took inspo from the Concorde

Concepts for angaran fighter ships have the following notes: “Two doors swing open, wings rotate down to function as landing struts, the landing struts split open. It has a spinning turbine engine

Despite being set a galaxy away and some 600 years after Mordin’s death, there was a time when he had a cameo. It wasn’t cut due to running out of time however, it was cut due to drug references. John Dombrow explains: “One day I had to write a small quest for Kadara. I thought it’d be amusing if these 2 guys living way out on the fringes in a shack were growing plants for uh, medicinal purposes, and needed Ryder’s help with it. It occurred to me, wouldn’t it be amusing if Ryder had the option of actually trying ‘the medicine’ to see what would happen? And I thought, what if it turned into some hallucination that somehow involved SAM - like maybe SAM would sing? But why? How could I motivate that? Then it hit me. Who else in the ME game sings unexpectedly? MORDIN. As a nod to him I wrote SAM singing Modern Major-General. It got even better when our cine designer John Ebenger wanted to take it even further. Bless him, he came in on a Saturday to do a special hallucination showing Mordin himself. It was great. Til the fateful day we were told MEA had already been submitted to the ratings board. That’s when you declare things like drug references in your game. Mordin fell under that category which meant it was a no-go. We were too late”

Ryder’s white AI armor contrasts Shep’s iconic dark armor (intentional design)

Concept art for Ryder involved experiments with cloth (cloaks, ponchos, capes - “Pull here to release cloak”) and asymmetrical design elements

For alien design, there’s a few exceptions but humanoid figures are the ME standard and this persisted into MEA

Kett and angara concepts explored striking lines and textures

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 7: You Know, It’s Kinda Growing On Me

Summary: Steve and Katie assemble a team to take the fight to HYDRA.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Word Count: 7k

A/N: Again, used a fair bit of creative license with this but, what is Fan-Fic if not exactly that? This series is my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge. Thanks to @angrybirdcr for the lovely edit, and also the totally NSFW one that I daren’t post for fear of being flagged, however if any of you want to see it, send me a PM! He he he...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

SSR Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 6

“The fifth one was here in Poland, right near the Baltic,” Steve bent over, marking the location on the map which was spread out in front of them on the table at the underground SSR base in Whitehall, London. “And the sixth one was… about here,” he marked another spot, “thirty, forty miles west of the Maginot Line.” He straightened up as a soldier rolled the map and carried it away, his pencil lightly bouncing against his fingers as he jiggled it a little in his hands. He looked up to see Katie and Agent Carter exchanging a glance with one another, a soft smile playing on Katie’s face. “I just got a quick look.” He finished.

“Well, nobody’s perfect.” Peggy said, the slightest hint of humour in her voice and at that Katie winked at Steve, the three of them walking over to where Phillips was studying some other locations that Katie had already marked on another map on the wall.

“These are the weapon factories we know about.” She explained as Steve stepped up behind her, his eyes quickly taking in the markers positions.

“Sergeant Barnes said that Hydra shipped all the parts to another facility that isn’t on this map.” Steve added, his tongue lightly poking the inside of his cheek as he tried to spot something in the seemingly random locations of the factories that would help them find the other one, but there was nothing jumping out at him.

Phillips mused for a little moment before he turned to Peggy. “Agent Carter, coordinate with MI6. I want every Allied eyeball looking for that main Hydra base.”

“What about us?” Katie asked.

“We are gonna set a fire under Johann Schmidt’s ass.” Phillips retorted, taking a piece of paper from a female, blonde private, turning to face them both. “Whadd’ya say, Rogers? It’s your map, you think you can wipe Hydra off of it?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve nodded eagerly. “I’ll need a team.”

“We’re already putting together the best men.” Phillips informed him and at that he saw Katie bristle a little over the Colonel’s shoulder, clearly picking up on his use of the non-inclusive noun. Phillips obviously didn’t see her being part of that team, and that wasn’t something Steve was prepared to let slide. She deserved to be there, alongside the best of them, because, well simply put she was the best of them. He’d seen first-hand how she’d handled herself in that base, fighting her way through more guards and HYDRA soldiers than he could count. She’d gotten their men out of the factory, been instrumental in strategizing and plotting how to get them home safely, and she had the respect of the six guys they had already chosen to make up a specific command with the sole focus of taking down HYDRA.

He locked eyes with Katie, giving her a significant look before he turned to Phillips. “With all due respect, sir. So are we.” Phillips blinked for a moment, before he turned back to Katie who shrugged as Steve continued. “I saw those men in action. Myself and Agent Stark also experienced first-hand their different specialist skills and various aptitudes during the escape and along the journey home. I think we’re best qualified to assess exactly who fits the bill.”

Phillips looked at him before he gave a small jerk of his head in agreement and Steve flashed Katie a smile. With that she turned and headed over to a table at the back, picking up several files before she returned.

“I had these prepared earlier, so that you could take a look.” She explained, holding them out.

Phillips took the files from her and opened the first one, Steve noticing Bucky’s photo looking back up at him from where it had been paper-clipped inside.

“Huh. B-A-R-N-E-S.” Phillips spelled out Bucky’s surname, a smirk flickering on his lips. “How about that Rogers, I can spell.” Despite himself, Steve gave a snort as Phillips tossed the files down on the table and looked at Katie, then Steve. “Not interested in what those files say. You said you know these men, so give me the low down. You got five minutes.”

Katie took a deep breath and opened the top file that Phillips had thrown down on the table and pushed it forward a little. “Okay, starting with James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th. Barnes and his unit were ambushed by the Wehrmacht troops at Azzano. Barnes is a trained and accomplished marksman and holds a lot of inside intelligence on how HYDRA operate, he heard a lot of tactical conversation when he was on the isolation ward. Seems the people watching him were too arrogant to think he’d understand.”

Phillips gave a jerk of his head to show he’d understood and Katie then moved to the next file and opened it, placing it down next to Bucky’s.

“Private Gabe Jones. 92nd Infantry Division.” Steve spoke, nodding to it. “Also Captured at Azzano. Jones is another expert marksman and one of his unit’s main gunners. He’s also multilingual, fluent in English, French, and German.”

“Useful.” Phillips nodded as Katie reached for the third file and opened it, displaying it alongside the other two.

“Corporal Timothy 'Dum Dum’ Dugan, 69th Infantry Regiment, or the Fighting Irish, another one who was captured at Azzano.” She looked at Phillips who arched his eyebrow at her. “You know Dum-Dum, Sir, so you don’t need me to tell you he’s good with a gun and also exceptional at hand-to-hand combat.”

Phillips nodded and waved his hand telling her to move on and she then opened the next file and Steve once more took up the explanation.

“Jacques Dernier, French Resistance.”

Phillips gave a scoff. “What the fuck was his French ass doing in North Western Italy?”

“He wasn’t, he was captured in Marseilles by HYDRA and transported to the factory as labour.” Steve explained. “He’s a self-proclaimed explosives expert, a claim backed up by the other men who escaped the HYDRA base alongside him.”

“He managed to wire a truck up to explode.” Katie looked at Phillips who gave a snort. “Don’t ask me how, because I have no idea, but I want to introduce him to Howie, see if they can come up with any new ideas to make things go bang.” She paused as she opened the next file. “Private Jim Morita. Served in the Nisei Squadron as a Ranger. Pretty good with tech as well as being another good shooter and also fluent in Japanese.”

At that Steve reached for the final file and opened it, tossing it down on top of the others, nodding down to the photo displayed. “Major James Montgomery Falsworth of the British 3rd Independent Parachute Brigade.”

“A Major, huh?” Phillips looked at Steve, a smirk on his face. “He out ranks you, Captain.”

“That’s kind of a moot point, Sir.” Katie shook her head, giving a snort. “They’re not even part of the same army.”

“I’m aware of that.” Phillips looked at her as Steve took a deep breath.

“I don’t care much for titles.” He replied. “I’m interested in his abilities. He’s logical, a strategist and tactician.”

Phillips paused for a moment before he nodded. “Alright, if these are the men you-“

“There’s one more.” Steve spoke and Katie’s head shot up from where she’d been studying Monty’s file to look at him, curiously. He turned to Phillips and inclined his head towards her.

“What?” Katie spluttered and Steve looked back to her as she stared at him, her mouth hanging open. Steve knew she’d resigned herself to being merely their support from Base now that an actual male Captain was stepping up to lead the charge against HYDRA so to speak, but he wasn’t about to let that happen.

“You told me yourself, if it hadn’t been for you I’d never have made it into or out of that base alive.” Steve spoke gently. “You have the intel on HYDRA, you have Dum-Dum’s ear and the men trust you. I want you on the front lines with us.”

She blinked, before she stuttered for words and Phillips gave a bark of a laugh. “Look at that, for once she’s got nothin’ to say.”

Steve gave a little smile and raised his eyebrows. “How about it?”

“Yeah, I mean, of course, I’m in.” She replied instantly, looking to Phillips for approval and he took a deep breath.

“I can’t really argue against it, not when you’ve been leading the fight against these guys for so long.” He sniffed. “Plus, telling you no would simply be a waste of both breath and energy.” He turned to Steve and nodded. “You want these men, you go get ‘em. I’ll clear this up the chain. Report back to me tomorrow when you’ve spoken to everyone.”

***** “We need a name, for the team.” Katie excitedly spoke as the pair of them made their way through the grounds of Albany Street Barracks. They’d remained at base for an hour or so after Phillips had left, coming up with a list of things they needed to do before calling it a night when they’d exhausted all their ideas.

“Why don’t we use the one you had for your guys, you know, when you led the raids?” Steve asked and Katie wrinkled her nose.

“We didn’t have an official name as such”

“But you had an unofficial one?”

Katie grinned. “Well, don’t forget technically it wasn’t my team, I’m a woman.” Steve rolled his eyes as she continued. “I was off radar, non-existent. Phillips was the official commanding officer. So for that reason, Dum-Dum nicknamed us Chester’s Angels.”

Steve gave a snort and shook his head. “Yeah we are not calling ourselves that.”

The pair of them fell silent, the only noise they made being the click of their boots against the cobbles as they headed towards the living quarters. The Barracks they were staying in normally housed The King’s own Hussars, the cavalry regiment of the British army, and under some agreement made between the British War Office and the US Senate, room had been made to house the members of the SSR whilst on British soil. The building was gorgeous, neatly built of brick and occupied an area of eight acres and a half. The messing and accommodation areas were situated on the east side of the parade ground, running parallel to the stables and service buildings. Katie had stopped on their way in to say hello to a couple of the British horsemen, gently stroking one of the large, black horses on the nose, Steve hanging back. Whilst they were beautiful animals, horses scared the crap out of him.

“What about Cap’s Commandos?” Katie broke the silence. “You know, I mean commando is already a term for a special operations unit.”

“Huh.” Steve pondered. “You know, I like the sentiment.”

“Sentiment?”

“Yeah, the word Commando derives from the Latin commendare which means to recommend.” Steve informed her and Katie shook her head, laughing softly.

“Huh, you know, I never knew that and I feel like I should.”

“Guess you don’t know everything after all, Doll.”

Katie paused at the entrance door as the soldier guarding it moved to one side to let them in. “Rude.” She narrowed her eyes and Steve laughed as they both walked into the building. “So if we called ourselves that, it would literally mean Cap’s Recommendations. Very apt, don’cha think?”

Steve wrinkled his nose as he followed her down the coridoor where she took a right. “Yeah, but it makes it sound like I’m the boss or somethin’.”

“You are.” Katie snorted.

“Well, maybe, but we’re a team.” Steve shook his head, an exasperated noise escaping his nose.

They both entered the small, communal kitchen and Katie headed for the steel coffee pot, rolling her eyes as she found it empty.

“Well, what about we pick some kind of alternative adjective or verb and make it ironic, a little joke maybe”

“A joke?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah.” Katie shrugged as she grabbed a foil packet from a cupboard. She tore it open and sniffed the contents before she turned to look at him. “So like this is all supposedly being done by stealth and using the element of surprise, let’s use something that alludes to the opposite.”

“Like the Screaming Eagles?” Steve offered and Katie pointed at him.

“Exactly.” She gave a definitive nod as she tipped the contents of the foil packet into the coffee pot.

“So something like the Screeching Commandos?” Steve looked at her, his eyebrow arched.

“No.” Katie wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like screeching, it has negative connotations, I mean when has anything good ever screeched.” She turned and grabbed a match, lighting the stove for the kettle.

“Shrieking?” Steve offered and she moved, across the kitchen, kettle in her hand.

“That’s better. But it needs to be something strong.”

“Caterwauling.” Steve said with a grin and she snorted, giving him a dig with her elbow as she passed to grab a container of water.

“Shut up.” She scoffed. Steve watched as she filled the kettle and placed it on the stove before she leaned back against the counter.

“Okay, so something alluding to being loud, that’s powerful.” Steve pondered.

“Roaring?” She offered. “I mean that’s what lions do, it’s powerful and they hunt in packs, we’re gonna be a pack.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, that’s good, but I don’t like cats.”

Katie looked at him, blinking, before she burst out laughing. “Oh my God!”

“What?” Steve chuckled as she snorted, shaking her head.

“They’re not domestic cats, Steve!”

“I know that, but they’re still cats. I much prefer dogs.” He stated matter of factly before he grinned, a sudden memory washing over him. “You know, when I was a kid our neighbor had a huge dog that I was convinced was a wolf. He had this trick, if you offered him a scrap he would howl on command…”

At that he trailed off, a sudden warm feeling flushing through his system as they both locked eyes in a moment of realization before they spoke at the same time.

“Howling…”

Steve grinned. “Now that I like. The Howling Commandos. It works.”

“Yeah, yeah it does.” Katie beamed.

As they stood there, smiling at each other like two complete idiots, the kettle started it’s own loud howling and Katie moved, clearing her throat as she removed it from the heat and added the boiled water to the metal coffee pot.

“We’re gonna need an insignia.” Steve spoke, now completely wrapped up in the thrill of the moment, his mind running away with him a little, the passion of leading his own unit completely sweeping him away. “Maybe a wolf’s head?”

“Well, the Screaming Eagles have an eagle, Old Abe, so a wolf’s head makes sense in that respect but…” She trailed off, grinning. “Chester always said our symbol when I was operating the unit should have been wings.”

“Why wings?”

“Because we were operating on a wing and a prayer.”

At that Steve snorted. “That’s kinda funny.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, it made us laugh, even if it was true.”

Grabbing a strainer, she poured the now brewed coffee into two mugs, setting the pot down on the side. Steve took the one she offered to him with a thanks before he took a sip and spoke again.

“Okay, how about we go with my name and seeing as you’re gonna be my second in command, we’ll take your insignia. Good team work, Agent Stark.”

“Your second in command?” She blinked. “Seriously?”

Steve nodded. “Well, yeah. Unless, you don’t…”

“No, I do, I just…” She shrugged. “I thought you’d have chosen Bucky or Monty.”

Steve took another sip of his drink, cocking his head to one side as he studied her for a moment. “Well, you know the type of work we’re going to be doing. You’ve done it before. It made sense.” He paused again before he smiled. “Plus, from a purely selfish point of view, you’re a lot easier on the eye than either of those guys.”

Katie smirked over the top of her mug. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Captain.”

Steve’s grin turned into a softer smile, before he stepped forward, the hand not holding his mug moved to her hip. With a gentle tug he pulled her closer, pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss.

“You know,” she whispered against his mouth as he pressed his forehead to hers, “you can’t be doing that out in the field, you’ll be gettin’ accused of favouritism.”

“Hmmm, is it an accusation if it’s fact?” He quipped back and she laughed, as he gave her another sweet peck.

Pulling back, she smiled a little, her eyes and expression soft. “I should go, Peggy wants me to help her get ready. She’s going to some fancy Officers’ dinner or something later with Phillips and Howie.”

“Are you not going with them?”

“What and sit around listening to a load of posh bastards rabbitin’ on about how hard it is on the front lines when they’ve never set foot outside their offices?” She scoffed. “No thank you. They epitomise everything that is wrong with this damned war.” Steve smiled at her indignation and she shrugged. “Besides, if you’re gonna ask the guys officially to join the team I should be there, you know, as your second in command. Call it team bonding.”

“That’s a really bad excuse to use because you don’t want to attend some pretentious dinner party, Doll.” Steve smirked and she shrugged.

“I don’t care. It’s my story and I’m sticking to it. But, for the record, not wanting to be in the company of imbeciles isn’t the only reason I don’t wanna go.”

“No?”

“I wanna spend time with you.”

Steve smiled and looked down licking his lips before he raised his head and met her eyes. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, yeah you will.” She stood on her tiptoes and gave his cheek a soft kiss before she turned and headed out. Steve watched the sway of her hips as she left, casting him a coy look over her shoulder that had his cheeks and neck feeling very warm.

And his uniform pants feeling very tight.

*****

“So, let’s get this straight.” Dum Dum looked at Steve as he sat at the table in the small bar in London.

“We barely got out of there alive, and you want us to go back?” Jones looked at him and Steve gave a little grin.

“Pretty much.

“Sounds rather…fun, actually.” Monty grinned and across the table Morita belched loudly.

“I’m in.”

A string of French then escaped Dernier and Steve watched as Jones replied, Dernier shooting off a couple more words in his mother tongue before the men laughed and shook hands. Steve exchanged a look with Dum Dum who was as puzzled as he was, and they both turned to Jones who gestured between him and Dernier.

“We’re in.”

Steve smiled and then turned to Dum Dum. “Hell, I’ll always fight. But you got to do one thing for me.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked as Dum Dum drained his pitcher and set it down on the table with a quiet belch.

“Open a tab.”

With a scoff of laughter, Steve stood up and gathered their empties into his hand and walked over to the bar. “Another round.”

“Where are they putting all this stuff?” The barman looked at him, his mouth hanging open a little.

Steve simply snorted and then moved over to where Bucky was sat at the bar counter, as in the background someone started playing the piano, a rendition of ‘There's a Tavern in Town’ ringing out across he bar.

“See? I told you.” Bucky gestured to the men at the table as he took a drink from his glass. “They’re all idiots.”

“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” Steve looked at him and Bucky scoffed, shaking his head.

“Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight.” He turned to Steve and shrugged. “I’m following him.”

Steve smiled a little, the sentiment not lost on him as Bucky smirked a little and shrugged. “But you’re keeping the outfit, right?”

“You know what?” He glanced over his shoulder at the poster advertising his now cancelled USO show, depicting him in his spandex. He smiled and looked at Bucky “It’s kind of growing on me.”

Before Bucky could quip anything back, Steve was suddenly aware that the singing in the bar had stopped and the two men leaned back to look through the door, to see both Peggy and Katie walking into the pub. Peggy was dressed in a tight fitting, deep red dress, all heads turning her way as she strode confidently towards him but Steve only had eyes for the woman behind her. Katie was dressed slightly more demurely than Peggy, her dress was a floaty, cream coloured material with frills around the sleeve caps, which trailed down the front of her dress, blending into the flowing, knee length skirt. The soft looking material was patterned with bronze coloured leaves, which were matched perfectly with the patent brown heeled peep-toe sling-backs on her feet. As Peggy continued towards him, Katie stopped by the table he’d vacated minutes ago, Falsworth standing up politely to offer her his chair.

“Captain.”

Steve’s eyes jerked to Peggy as she stood in front of him and he nodded. “Agent Carter.”

“Ma’am.” Bucky flashed her his best smile and Steve had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds good.” Steve nodded, his eyes flicking once more to Katie who was now settling herself at the table, smiling at Falsworth in thanks as he pushed her chair in for her.

“I see your top squad is prepping for duty.” She quipped and Steve gave a smile.

“You don’t like music?” Bucky asked.

“I do, actually.” She turned to smile at him. “I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky deployed his usual line and Peggy flashed him a smile before she turned back to Steve.

“The right partner.”

It was no coincidence she spoke those words to him, the words he himself had said to Katie all those weeks ago. As his eyes locked onto Peggy’s, she gave him a small smile and arched her eyebrow, the faintest jerk of her head back towards Katie confirmed his suspicions and he flushed slightly at the fact he had clearly been the subject of a conversation between the two women, and unless he was very much mistaken, the one stood in front of him was giving him a silent instruction.

Or warning, he wasn’t quite sure.

“0800, Captain.” Peggy finished, before she turned and walked away.

“Yes, ma’m.” He cleared his throat, answering both her spoken and unspoken orders. “I’ll be there.”

“I’m invisible.” Bucky scoffed, referring to the rejection he had just been slapped with from Peggy. “I’m…I’m turning into you. It’s like some horrible dream”

“Don’t take it so hard.” Steve clapped him on the shoulder. “Maybe she’s got a friend.”

“She does,” Bucky grinned, “but her friend seems kinda into you.”

Steve rolled his eyes, a smile flickering on his face as once more he glanced over at Katie. This time she looked straight back and flashed him a demure smile and he felt his cheeks flushing again. Fuck, was there any time he was never going to do that?

“You gonna go find out what your dame wants to drink?” Bucky asked and Steve turned to him.

“She’s not…”

“Whatever, Punk.” Bucky snorted, shoving him harshly in the back. Steve cleared his throat as the two men made their way over to the table, Bucky flopping into a seat opposite Katie.

“S’up Doll Face?” He quipped and she raised her brow.

“Barnes.” She smirked a little as he leaned back, eyeing her for a moment before Steve took a deep breath.

“Agent Stark, what can I get you to drink?”

“Gin please, Captain.” She smiled. “Straight over ice if they have any.”

“Ooh Lady Lieutenant, you getting on the hard stuff already?” Dum Dum teased and she shrugged, turning to face him.

“Well if I’m going to keep up with you reprobates out there in the field I might as well start as I mean to go on.”

At that all the men turned to one another, surprise on their faces and Steve groaned, realising he’d forgotten to tell them that.

“You’re coming with us?” Falsworth asked and she looked at him nodding.

“Is there a problem with that, gentlemen?” Steve was quick to jump in and he saw Katie smile to herself as she looked at the table.

“Hell, no.” Duggan snorted. “I know better than to question her, I got a black eye last time.”

“You deserved it.” Katie narrowed her eyes as various snorts rang around the table. “You challenged my authority in front of the entire unit.”

“Exactly, which is why I’m not gonna do it now.”

“Do you hit everyone who challenges you?” Steve asked, thinking back to when she’d taken Hodge down the first day he’d been at Camp Lehigh.

She turned to him, and shrugged. “Depends on how exactly they’re doing the challenging.”

At that the group gave a few loud guffaws at her innuendo and Steve rolled his eyes as she fixed him with a stare.

“That drink aint gonna buy itself, Cap.”

With a scoff, and another loud roar of laughter from the table at the fact she’d just sassed him, he shook his head and turned back to the bar, a large smile on his face.

****

A few hours and several drinks later, Katie decided to call it a night. As she rose from her seat, all the men around the table did the same, wishing her a good night and Steve excused himself to walk her back to the barracks, pointedly ignoring the looks the team shared. As Katie stood up, thanking Steve as he held out her shawl for her, he saw Bucky smirking in the corner of his eye. He turned to his best friend who simply raised his glass in his direction, arching a brow. With a roll of his eyes, but an ever so subtle smug smirk, Steve gently placed his hand on the base of Katie’s spine and guided her towards the door.

Once outside, he offered her his arm and she smiled, curling her hand over the crook of his elbow, leaning into him a little as they walked the short distance back to the barracks, their talk quiet. They both greeted the guards on the gate who saluted them as they passed and headed inside, their footsteps light as they walked the deserted halls.

“You know, you didn’t actually have to walk me to my actual room.” Katie opened her door, turning to Steve. “Pretty sure we’re safe in here.”

“I’m a man of my word. I said I’d walk ya home.” Steve’s mouth curled up at one side into a soft smile. “And, okay, it isn’t exactly home but…”

Katie gave a little chuckle before she looked down at the floor, biting her lip. “Such a gentleman, your ma would be proud.”

Steve felt himself warm at her compliment and he popped a shoulder as she looked at him, her eyes shining. There was a moment’s pause before he cleared his throat and looked down the corridor. “I should…”He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and Katie nodded.

“Yeah, you probably…should.” She stepped forward a little, her left hand curling on the lapels of his jacket, before she gripped his tie firmly in her right, yanking him towards her a little, Steve’s eyes widening at her sudden forceful nature. “But that doesn’t mean you have to.”

There was a moment’s hesitation, Steve trying to reconcile the war between his brain and his body. His mind was telling him this was bad, because he was a gentleman, and he should be walking her home and leaving it there. But damned, his body was already reacting, he could feel the stirring in his pants as he looked into her green eyes which were shining with mischief. It was same conflict he’d felt all those months back, the night before he got the serum when they’d made out.

“Stop thinking so much,” she whispered, the hand round his tie pulling further, his face was now mere inches from hers, “let go, Steve.”

And that was it, his lips crashed to hers and he backed her through the door, kicking it shut with his foot. The kiss was fierce, the pair of them stumbling around the small room as Steve’s arms wrapped around her, hands splaying on her back, holding her as close as he could. A soft moan escaped her mouth which resonated in his lust addled brain like an alarm, and he pulled away, his breathing deep.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He whispered, his forehead pressing to hers, his tongue wetting his lips slightly.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” She replied, her voice barely audible over her own deep breathing.

And Steve knew then he was a goner.

He surged forward once more, his hands cupping her face, hers reaching out to undo the buttons on his jacket. She pushed it back over his shoulders and he shrugged it off, where it fell to the floor with a soft thud. Then, before he could even contemplate his next move her hands had reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it free of his pants. His back muscles twitched as her hands danced over his skin, the sensation of her gently dragging her nails across the base of his spine sent a spike of desire, like a red hot poker through his entire body and he let out a groan against her mouth, which caused her lips to curl up at one side. Steve pulled back a little, watching as she quickly undid the knot in his tie and then her manicured fingers popped each button on his shirt, her eyes following her actions before she raised her head to meet his gaze as he shrugged off his shirt, carelessly tossing it to one side.

He swallowed as her hands gently pressed to his chest, sliding up over his shoulders, one tangling in the back of his hair. His own curled over her hips as he kissed her again, before he hesitated and felt her soft palms gently move over the top of his hands, guiding them round to the back of her dress. His fingers skated up and he found the zipper. With a deep breath, he looked at her once more and she nodded, and he pulled the small, metal zip down the track, causing it to fall forward slightly and he got a glimpse of her breasts, clad in a silk balcony style bra.

She pulled away from him this time and he watched as she allowed her dress to fall to the floor, and he swallowed again, his dick now rock hard at the sight of her in nothing but her underwear in front of him and when his eyes had finished travelling up her curves, she hooked her fingers into his waistband and tugged him closer to her. He let out a groan as her knuckles brushed over his sensitive stomach, the anticipation now killing him as she slowly undid his belt, taking her time, locking her eyes onto his again. The lust he had seen moments ago had now completely turned into something softer, her eyes shining like emeralds.

“God you’re beautiful.” He stuttered out and Katie giggled nervously before he kissed her again stepping forward a little. The force of his movement caused her to step back, and she almost fell as the back of her knees hit the side of the cot up against the wall. “Sorry.” He pulled back a little, and she shook her head.

“I’m not.”

At that point, Steve felt the nerves wash over him once again, what the fuck was he doing? God, this was all sorts of wrong, and incorrect, but…fuck, he was damned if he didn’t want this.

“Katie, I…” He stumbled over his words and she frowned a little.

“What? Don’t you wanna…”

“No, I mean, yeah. Yeah I do. I really do…but, Doll, please tell me you do too.” His voice was a nervous plea and she took a deep breath, her hands popping the button on his khaki uniform pants as she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Yeah, yeah I do.” she whispered.

“Good, okay, yeah, that’s…good.” He nodded, his lips back on hers as he kissed her again. She moved, climbing up backwards onto the cot, Steve chasing her mouth with his as she knelt up on the mattress, her hands cupping his face, the pads of her fingers softly pressing into his clean shaven jaw.

“You’re gonna need…erm…” she pulled away a little, and he looked at her, and she arched her eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you didn’t bring your standard issue little packet of protection?”

“What?” Steve frowned.

“I know they give you boys those.” Katie scoffed. “Put it on before you put it in, ring any bells?”

Steve flushed a furious shade of red as he groaned, his head falling forwards and pressing against hers. “Yeah, I know, but I didn’t, I mean this wasn’t exactly how I was planning this night to go down.”

“Hmmm, the Star Spangled Man doesn’t have a plan.”

“Oh for God’s-” his protest was cut off as she kissed him again, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I’m one step ahead of you.” She nodded to where she’d tossed her purse. “Just so happens I might have swiped a couple.”

“You were planning for this?” Despite himself, his lips quirked up at the side and she shook her head.

“Not planning, no. Hoping.”

She kissed him again before she moved and stepped off the bed, hopping over to retrieve said item and Steve took the opportunity to sit down and rid himself of his boots. It took him a few attempts to get the laces undone his fingers were shaking that much and once he’d finally gotten rid of them, he didn’t have a second to contemplate his next move as Katie had tossed the small, foil packet onto the small lamp table by the bed and straddled him, her knees falling either side of his hips.

He was aware that his breathing had quickened and he looked at her, the lump in his throat thick as she reached behind her, eyes trained on him. He swallowed thickly as she undid her bra and his eyes flickered down to take her in. She was a sight to behold. All soft pink curves and rose bud nipples which were peaked against the sudden rush of air to her skin.

He was achingly hard now, and he needed to do something about it. In a flash he pivoted them so she was led flat on her back on the bed, and he propped himself up over her, caging her with his arms and legs as his mouth hungrily covered hers. His hands trailed up her bare legs, to her hips, up the side of her body and then onto her breasts teasing gently. She groaned, rolling her head back on the pillow at the sensation, her hips bucking upwards.

“Fuck.” He seethed out at the feeling of her grinding up against his rock hard crotch, and he nuzzled at her neck with his nose. She dragged her fingers up his spine, as he buried his face in the side of her neck, his lips working at the pulse spot beneath her ear, the little noises of pleasure she was making were music in his ear.

Shifting slightly, he took his weight entirely on his left arm, his right cupping her face until her fingers wrapped around his. Before Steve had figured out what she was doing, she’d guided his hand down to the waistband of her panties and in a movement that was pure instinct he continued, working his large fingers down through the elastic, over her soft curls. When he felt her slick against his pads he let out a groan, and she sighed as he gently began to stroke her.

It took him a little while, and some guidance, but soon he’d figured out exactly what was working for her as he moved his fingers, taking care to keep his strokes just right. His face watched hers intently as she bit her lip, her eyes falling shut in pleasure. Before long her hips started to move against his hand and he gently twisted his wrist, inserting two fingers inside her, swallowing at the way she felt, so soft and warm.

Her body was now reacting exactly the same way he’d seen before. Encouraged, he continued his movements. Her hand moved up to grab at his hair, pulling him down to kiss him and before long she was softly crying out, her back arching as her walls fluttered around his fingers as she came.

How Steve didn’t blow his load right there and then he had no idea, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be in her, surrounded by her, feel her, claim her as his own. His hands both shot to the side of her panties, completely forgetting his strength and he heard them tear. He dropped his forehead onto her sternum, letting out a groan at his stupidity before he heard a laugh.

“I’m sorry…” he blurted out as she continued to giggle.

“Steve, it’s okay.” She shook her head. “You good?”

“Yeah, just, well, I’ve never…”

“I know, me neither, remember?” She leaned up, gently kissing him before she grinned. “And whilst I’m no expert, I expect you’re gonna need to take your pants off for this next bit.”

“Oh, shit, yeah…” Steve swallowed and stood up, dispensing of the rest of his clothes, the feeling of his cock finally being freed from his clothing was bliss. His eyes roved over her bare form as she lay on the bed, watching him, her own eyes flicking down his naked body and he blushed a little before she gave him a sinful look, her teeth biting her bottom lip.

“Don’t keep me waiting, Soldier.” She gestured with her head to the little table and he grabbed the condom. His fingers slipped a little as he tore the foil packet open, his hand shaking as he knelt on the bed between her legs, rolling it down over his shaft the way he’d seen it demonstrated, but, well it was awkward, and he was starting to get a little bit fed up when Katie put a hand over his and he glanced up at her.

“Relax.” She whispered.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Shhh,” she kissed him softly as she guided his hand down and once he was sheathed she led back down and he moved, his hands either side of her shoulders as he positioned himself.

With as gentle a movement as he could, he worked his way into her, letting out a loud groan, and her breath hitched a little.

“God,” Steve breathed, temporarily paralysed as the sensation of being buried in her for the first time washed over him, her tight warmth hugging his cock. His arms shook and he dropped down to his elbows, shifting a little to support his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush her, his entire body coiled tight like snake.

“You okay?” she asked softly, clearly able to feel the tension in his muscles as he lay over her.

“Yeah.” He panted. “You?” “I’m good,” there was a little pause and she placed her hand on the bottom of his back, applying a little pressure with her palm, “go slow.”

So he did. He started thrusting. Slowly at first, picking up the pace a little as he gained confidence. Her hands slipped up his back and came to rest as her arms hooked under his, palms flat on the back of his shoulders.

Steve watched her carefully as he continued his movements, his eyes locked onto hers. She looked straight back at him as her body gently moved with each thrust he made. He leaned down to kiss her, and it was a little sloppy because his brain and body were that awash with this absolute new sensation of pleasure that he was struggling to function or focus on much at the moment. He broke the kiss, dropping his forehead to hers, his mouth slack as the heat tightened in his belly and he knew it wasn’t going to be long before he came.

"Katie, I'm not...I'm not gonna..." he started to explain, almost apologise even but she cut him off.

"It's okay," she nudged his nose with hers, “let me see you, Stevie."

He raised his head and she looked straight at him, and with a few more little thrusts he was gone, tipping over the edge with a little grunt and a cry of her name. As the surge of pleasure washed over him he pitched forward, burying his face into her neck, breathing deeply as the world span around him, the blood pounding in his ears was almost deafening.

Her arms held him close, hands gently sliding up his back, scratching at that spot on the nape of his neck, softly tangling in his hair as a final shudder ran down his body, the waves of pleasure finally began to subside.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, “You didn’t even – I’m sorry.” He said again still kicking himself.

“Just enjoy the moment, please.” She whispered, kissing his temple.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Steve sighed as he dropped his head to her chest, still inside her, as she ran her hand through his hair and down his neck. He stayed still for a while before he pulled out of her, careful to wrap his hand around the now filled barrier and he moved, sitting up so he could remove it. Once he had disposed of it in the small waste basket by the vanity, he retrieved his underwear and pulled it up over his legs before he turned around and looked at her as she sat up in the bed, the sheets clutched to her chest.

There was a moment’s awkward silence, neither of them really knowing what to do next. Steve was torn. One half of him wanted to climb back in and hold her against him, whilst the other was telling him he should dress and bail before they got caught and in a heap of trouble.

“Stay.” Her small whisper broke through his thoughts and he looked at her as she watched him, her face hopeful. “I mean, if you want.”

“Of course I want to.” He swallowed, crossing the room and dropping back onto the bed. “I just don’t wanna get you into any kinda trouble.”

He couldn’t help the trepidation he was feeling. Whilst there were no rules against what they’d just done, as such, it might be frowned upon. But then again, they’d been careful, they were both consenting adults…

“No one will come up this way, not for a couple of hours at least.” Katie shook her head, clearly reading the look on his face. “And, well, I don’t much care. They shouldn’t give out those prophylactics if they didn’t want us to fuck.”

“Jesus, Doll.” He grumbled at her crass nature and she giggled, softly. Cocking her head to one side.

“Sorry, should I have referred to it as making love?”

Steve rolled his eyes, before he took a deep breath. “That was more than just a fuck to me, you know that right?”

Her face softened and she smiled, reaching out to cup his face. “I know. It was to me too. So stay, please.”

With a nod he moved, working his way back under the covers. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, his large frame taking up most of the space but he moved so she was between him and the wall, making sure there was no way she’d fall out and she lay on her side, her leg thrown over his as her head snuggled into his chest.

His hand softly ran up and down her spine as she gave a sigh, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“Night, Soldier.” She whispered and he pressed a kiss to her temple, his eyes closing.

“Night, Sweetheart.”

She was asleep well before him. Steve lay awake, his sharp ears listening for any footsteps or any sign that they were about to be caught but, after half an hour or so of nothing but silence, he finally gave into the wave of tiredness that had seeped into his bones, and fell into a deep, contented sleep.

*** Chapter 8

#Stark Spangled Rebirth #steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america #mcu #mcu fanfic

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fu-yao · 3 years

Text

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you so much for tagging me @lan-xichens, I’ll try my best to explain how I made this set from start to finish hehe ♡ and also a big thank you to @suibianjie @highwarlockkareena @nyx4 @aheartfullofjolllly and you as well Kris for putting this all together! Content creators get a lot less recognition than they deserve for all the time they put into their content, so getting everyone to see the (sometimes excessive) process we all go through to put our content in our blog, I hope it creates a positive change!! 💖

1. Planning

The set in question was actually requested by someone so they could celebrate their friend’s birthday! At first I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to be able to finish it on time (college is very hectic right now) but I was able to finish it three days before the deadline which was may 1st! ^-^

The first thing I did was decide what characters I wanted to use in the set, I first reached out to the person who requested the set if there were certain characters they wanted me to use but they said they didn’t know enough to really give me any directives outside of the quote. I decided, since the quote is applicable to the entirety of the show, that I would try to put in as many characters as possible.

Thus, of course, came the hunting for scenes. Those of you in the net discord surely know I came into the content help channel a few times to ask for certain scenes here and there, and eventually I had to download an additional 10 episodes to the back then 20 or so episodes I had in my CQL episodes folder.

As you can see I have 30 random episodes of CQL downloaded (slowly but surely getting to the point where I have all 50 episodes downloaded) and I think I ended up using scenes out of at least 20 of those episodes.

I planned out beforehand what characters I would use per gif. I knew obviously I would start out with Wangxian, them being the main characters of the show, and then would work my way down the list. The second gif consists of Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. They’re all family pairings, two being siblings and one being a married couple. The next gifset consists of the Yi City characters, then the fourth gif consists of the juniors, and the final gif has Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen in it.

I have to admit though that when I had made the first four gifs I’d forgotten who I would put in the last gif and the when I thought about it the first time around I could only think of Lan Qiren and the very cursed Yaoyang ship 😭 it was only at dinner time that same day that I remembered I hadn’t put Jiang Cheng in my gifset yet and that’s when I thought of the other characters as well.

I had already made my first two gifs when I went to check Hanyi’s blog for layout inspo and eventually I decided I wanted to try a triangle-ish layout, which I doodled below. I eventually ended up changing the layout of the last gif in the final design. It was also the first time I would work with a triangle-ish layout so I was a bit nervous as I was scared it wasn’t going to work out...

2. Creating

I use Avisynth 2.5 and Adobe Photoshop 2021 (the paid version, unfortunately, I need it for school except I didn’t need it this year but I wanted it so I paid for it with my own money ouch) to make my gifsets! I always start out with trimming down all the scenes I’m going to use into three to five second videos and putting them through Avisynth. This time around I did it separately for each gif I made, simply because I needed so many scenes. I would include a screenshot of my “gif vids” and “temp” folders but I’ve already deleted all the videos, which is what I usually do immediately after a set is posted.

I’ll try my best explaining this gif by gif since each one had a different layout!

2.1 Wangxian

I think I had up to five different designs of this gif 😭 it started out with the gif on the left originally being more centered and the quote right smack in the center but somehow it felt a bit too... empty? I changed up the design and pulled the gif over to the right and put the two closeups on the left, the exact opposite of the gif I eventually ended up with. I switched things around one more time and saved the gif as you can see it right now, except I didn’t include the lines yet. It was only as I finished up my fourth gif that I decided this gif needed lines as well so I added them ^-^

2.2 Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning

I got the inspiration for the font layout on this gif from this Wenzhou post! I hadn’t tried it before and when I did for this gif I was very happy with the way it turned out :D I wanted to portray that life is a pile of good and bad things, as the quote says, in CQL by mirroring these happy scenes side by side with the sad scenes

2.3 Yi CIty

My first time working with the triangle layout!! Putting in the lines and making sure they would line up with the second gif took me the longest of all actually 😭 I think once I got the line on the left in I just copy pasted it and flipped it horizontally so I didn’t have to fiddle around with angling it anymore :’) my original idea was to get a happy Song Lan scene and a sad A-Qing scene, but when I stumbled upon this A-Qing scene in ep38 I just had to put it in there because her smile is so precious 🥺 Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen in the center are also supposed to be mirrored, with Xue Yang embodying the “bad things” and Xiao Xingchen the “good things” ! I also think the Yi City characters fit this part of the quote very well!!

2.4 The Juniors

Ah yes, the junior quartet!! :D I had this planned out from the very beginning, that I would include happy versus sad juniors in the “vice versa” part of the quote, and I think it worked out quite well! My first idea was to put the “vice versa” completely in the special font and have it typed out over the gifs like I did with the “vice” but as I typed out the “versa” I realized it had one letter too much to be able to do that 😭😭 it took me a while to come up with how I would position the “but” and “versa” and after some moving around I decided to just place them the way I did in the final gif! For the font, I duplicated the “vice” and added a stroke to the duplicate, then I changed the fill setting to 0% so I could slightly drag the duplicate away from the original layer to create the effect that’s in the gif — also, finding a scene in which Jin Ling smiles is really difficult.... he barely even smiles in the scene I ended up using :(

2.5 Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen

The final gif!! I feel like this might come a little across as “I promise I didn’t forget these characters” because they’re a very odd quadruplet to put together, but they were the most important characters left to put in the set! I was thinking of putting Nie Mingjue in here together with Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, but I did feel he fit more with his brother up in the second gif. Mei @mylastbraincql cheered me on making this gif for which I was very grateful :D <3 the layout came to be after I googled “how to evenly split a rectangle in four” because I didn’t want a repeat layout in the set (*/∇＼*)

2.6 Coloring

For the coloring I pretty much did all of the tweaking on the first gif and then copy pasted all of it onto the second, third, fourth, and fifth gif. This is usually the way I go about my coloring, I will always edit certain gifs if necessary but I don’t think I had to change the coloring much on any of these gifs? Maybe I added in a curve layer here and there, but nothing major! This is really one of my preferred coloring styles, even though I try to step outside of my comfort zones with other sets ^-^

3. Posting

I will always upload sets into my drafts and edit the caption in there as well, clicking on “preview post” a couple times to check everything looks good on my blog as well, before I post a set. However, this time, since there was a deadline and I finished before the deadline, I put this set in the queue so it would automatically post on the 1st of may! Knowing myself, I would’ve forgotten to do so </3

Whew that was... a lot 😭 did it make any sense? Probably not, but it was fun to ramble （ ´∀｀）

I’ll tag

@blinkplnk with this set !

@wuxien with this set !

@wendashanren with this set !

@wanyinxichen with this set !

@yibobibo with this set !

@mylastbraincql with this set !

@sugarbabywenkexing with this set !

@yiling-recesses with this set !

@jiancheng with this set !

Please feel totally free to ignore this if you’ve already been tagged and don’t want to do it again!! <3

#showyourprocess #tag game #this got so long i'm sorry ;-;#very curious to see everyone else's processes!!#thank you for the tag kris <3

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