#This is not the complete scene but it's prime comedy

[immediatebreakfast]

After all, I reflected, I was like my neighbours; and then I smiled, comparing myself with other men, comparing my active good-will with the lazy cruelty of their neglect. And at the very moment of that vainglorious thought, a qualm came over me, a horrid nausea and the most deadly shuddering... I began to be aware of a change in the temper of my thoughts, a greater boldness, a contempt of danger, a solution of the bonds of obligation. I looked down; my clothes hung formlessly on my shrunken limbs; the hand that lay on my knee was corded and hairy. I was once more Edward Hyde. 

This is so fucking funny.

This is everything, and I absolutely love it.

Henry Jekyll, after deciding how he was finally going to "be free" from Hyde after his crimes were too severe to either bribe, or sweep under the eyes the law, deadass went into a vain rant about how better he was than his fellow men, and neighbors thanks to his "active good-will"... Only for him to just immediatly end up transforming into Edward Hyde on the spot.

Absolutely no one is doing it like him.

#This is not the complete scene but it's prime comedy #Love how even Hyde couldn't stand his ass and went “shUT THE FUCK UP!” #Henry Jekyll may be a prized scientist but my god is he stupid #jekyll and hyde weekly #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #henry jekyll #edward hyde

[nicholasmoorethetwittermigrant]

Ok but I love Barbie’s opening scene because the 2001 homage could’ve so easily been a shallow gag where the whole joke is “get the reference?” but instead it’s priming you for how completely literal the Barbie-as-Monolith idea is to the movie’s themes and conflict.

Seeing the movie I was a little caught off guard by just how unreal the “real world” was both in and out of how people specifically reacted to Barbie’s presence, but in retrospect the opening counts on an understanding of 2001 to immediately say

“This isn’t just an alt universe where Barbieland exists adjacent to reality, but one where Barbie is without exaggeration a primordial cosmic force the discovery of which fundamentally altered how human beings think and evolve.”

The Monolith as a visual metaphor for Barbie’s impact on the world is already a clever little bit of observational comedy, but taking the scene beyond metaphor and into the literal text of the film, to where Barbie’s presence as this reality-shaping object of import is just taken as a given by everyone in the film, that’s freakin genius.

It’s rare to see such an overt reference to another piece of media end up being such a smart and pivotal bit of actual storytelling, and its fascinating to see the film explore “what if humanity’s relationship to the Monolith was reciprocal and the Monolith was actually a Person?”

#barbie movie #barbie 2023 #2001 a space odyssey #margot robbie #Greta Gerwig #ryan gosling #Ken #Allan #just Ken #Simu Liu #issa rae #america ferrera #meta

[feeder86]

Bro Code

Oscar sighed, coming out of another entertainment interview and feeling completely drained after pretending to be upbeat about the show’s season finale and its renewal for season four. His jaws ached from the smiling and he ran over in his mind the questions he had stumbled on, again and again. Every interviewer, no matter who was conducting it, seemed to want him to address the rumours about the on-set tension. They’d brought it on themselves in a way. His chemistry with Dean on the screen was something all the early reviewers had applauded; the media were always going to be out for blood at the merest hint of tension behind the scenes.

The show had always been an unlikely hit: a romantic, crime-drama series, featuring a gay superhero and his male love interest. Oscar had been thrilled to get the part three years ago, although the production company had been clear that he hadn’t been their first choice. After the pilot, there had been an outcry that the original actor for Oscar’s part was straight. LGBTQI groups had petitioned and made their voices heard loud and clear that that sort of casting was not something they were willing to take lightly. So, only days before full production was set to begin, Oscar had been shipped out to Los Angeles to take over the role and, as far as he was concerned, it had all been downhill from there.

The set had been toxic from day one: a battleground of nepotism and inflated egos. Oscar had got the sense that he was just a necessary evil to the producers. He did his job, helped to pull in the viewers and allowed the show to continue rolling on; but they didn’t have to like him or show any recognition that he was a vital part of their success. The heart of the problem was, and always had been the lead actor himself, Dean Greg. With his family owning a major share in the production company, Dean had strolled straight into the lead role of The Silence; a lesser-known comic book superhero of the late 2000s, and one of the first to be openly gay. Oscar had grown up watching Dean on another show, a teen comedy the guy had gone into straight after finishing high school; Dean’s family had owned that production too. It was partly why Oscar had taken the role on this show so eagerly, despite his blossoming career in the UK; the opportunity to be the love interest for Dean Greg on a prime time show. He could practically hear his sixteen year old self screaming in excitement at the idea. But the Dean he imagined in his head was very different to the reality.

There was a certain skill to Hollywood arrogance and entitlement, but Dean had seemed to master it well. Perhaps it would have been more forgivable if Dean had brought something outstanding to the show, but the reality was, he was nothing special. The man was a comedy actor, and the dark, brooding tone of the show seemed to clash rather remarkably with his style. Oscar had lost count of the number of late finishes he had had, with Dean needing take after take to get things right. If it had been Oscar causing that sort of pressure on the production, he could just imagine what would have been said to him; but not the golden boy.

Back in the days when Oscar watched Dean on his old TV show, ‘Bro Code’, the idea that the guy would one day play a muscle-bound superhero wasn’t immediately obvious. Sure, Dean’s impressive height and build were already there, but he was also pretty overweight and not at all toned. His character, Codey, had been a loveable idiot, lazy and comically laid back about everything in life. Oscar’s crush on him had been deep and he sometimes felt that when he dated guys, he was constantly, and ridiculously, comparing them to the entirely fictional character he had fallen in love with back in his teens.

“Are you worried about type-casting?” asked the next interviewer with a sickly smile; as if she wasn’t asking a question that poked at one of Oscar's biggest worries.

“Not really,” Oscar lied. “I don’t plan on staying in Los Angeles once the show wraps up.” Inwardly, he kicked himself. The producers always told him to never talk about the show ending. Like the superhero it portrayed, they wanted it to be perceived as invincible. “What I mean is,” he clarified, “I’d want to return to the UK and take on some projects there instead. But that’s way, way off in the future. The show still has many more left in it.” he added, hoping that that might prevent him from getting a telling off later.

“Now to the question that everyone is asking,” the interviewer went on. “You and Dean make such a lovely pairing on screen. But, rumour has it that you two don’t actually get along in real life. What can you tell us about that?”

Stifling the urge to sigh in defeat, Oscar simply smiled politely back and prepared to lie for the hundredth time that day. The superlatives that he used to describe his co-star rolled off his tongue with ease, as he denied, quite emphatically, that there was anything but perfect harmony on set. He knew, as well as everyone else did, that that illusion had to be maintained at all times.

The summer break slipped away all too soon and Oscar’s dread about returning was amplified when he read that the first episode was to be shot by a director he particularly despised. He’d clashed with the guy since the first season, and despite making several complaints about the sexist, bullying and outright homophobic ramblings of the man, here he was again, invited back to direct another six episodes this year. The superhero genre wasn’t especially Oscar’s thing. He looked over the scripts, wondering where the fan interest even came from. Episode two read almost word for word like a story they had done back in season two. Then again, he thought with a thrill of excitement, if the viewing figures declined, maybe they wouldn’t get picked up next year!

Dean’s new girlfriend was hovering about on the set, making a nuisance of herself and, inexplicably, getting away with it. Oscar rolled his eyes at the double standards. Unlike the actor who had previously had his part in the pilot, Dean had declared himself bisexual in order to keep his role when all the critics started petitioning the casting. It was all a joke. Oscar had never once seen the guy with anyone other than blonde, petit, plastic-looking things with oversized breasts that made them look overbalanced and ready to topple over.

Oscar climbed into his trailer and collapsed onto his couch, burying his head under the cushions. “Arsehole!” he growled, having just been belittled by his most hated director. “Get me out of this fucking shithole!” he complained into the fabric of the sofa. 

Just then, Oscar heard the flush of his toilet and he jumped in surprise. Someone was in his trailer! He sat bolt upright and watched the door swing open. Then, shockingly, Dean looked at him, seemingly irritated that Oscar was even there.

“What are you doing in my trailer?” Oscar asked, disgusted by the invasion into his private space.

“Hiding,” Dean simply replied. “They’ve got some sort of fan experience thing… someone who won a competition to enable them to spend a day on set with me. I don’t know - something along those lines. It’s all bullshit. I’m not due on set for another hour and no one will ever find me in here.” With that, he parked himself down heavily on the chair and grabbed his cell phone, already plugged in and charging from the wall.

“You could have asked first,” Oscar mumbled. “This is the only place I have for myself.”

Dean swiped through his phone and seemed entirely disinterested. “Yeah, I heard your little rant. Who’s pissed you off now?” he asked in a tired and disinterested voice. 

“It’s nothing,” Oscar spat through gritted teeth. He didn’t have the sort of relationship with Dean where he could discuss anything. Plus, he was always likely to go reporting back to his family and stir up a whole new load of issues, accusing Oscar of being a trouble-maker. With no friends here, Oscar usually knew his only option was to suffer in silence. He looked at Dean, making himself at home in his trailer and felt the pit of dread in his stomach at the thought of going back out on set. That was when his rage boiled over. “I just can’t fucking wait for this show to be over already.” he almost shouted. “There’s no way in hell I’m coming back next year!”

Dean smirked, still looking at his cell phone. “I don’t like your chances. My dad will sue your ass in the blink of an eye if you try to back out of your contract.”

Oscar huffed in annoyance, but that flat, brutal reminder was enough to silence his complaints, and he simply sat there, grinding his teeth, wishing that Dean would just get the fuck out of his trailer.

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want to be here any more than you do,” Dean stated breezily back. “I never even wanted to do this show in the first place.”

Oscar rolled his eyes, not believing a word of it. “You fucking love it,” he countered. “Or is it stressful being everybody’s golden boy?”

“I’m only here because I have it in my contract that my dad will sign over the rights to my old TV show to me,” Dean stated frankly, looking up from his cell phone at last. “You really think I want to spend the whole of my summer off doing insane workouts and nutrition plans just to play a dumb superhero role?”

Oscar thought for a second. “You want to reboot Bro Code?” he asked in disbelief.

“That show was the best job I ever had,” Dean laughed, with a smile of fond memories on his face. “It wasn’t even acting. I just turned up and said my lines. There was none of this fantasy bullshit to try and make convincing. If I’m honest, I can’t even follow half the scripts for this show.”

The fanboy in Oscar quivered inside. “I’d be over the moon if you ever did manage to bring Bro Code back!” he smiled. “I know pretty much every single line of all six seasons!”

“Really?” Dean asked, sounding mildly interested. “I didn’t know you’d ever seen it.”

Oscar resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He’d only talked about his great love of Dean’s old show in every single one of his interviews to promote their series. In one fan-favourite interview, he’d been asked to do a ‘Bro Code’ quiz against some supernerds, coming out victorious. He’d always known that Dean didn’t have an ounce of interest in him, so it was hardly surprising that he didn’t watch any of his interviews on TV.

“So, if I did manage to get the show rebooted, where do you think my character, Codey, would be now? Eight years later?” Dean asked, turning a little, like he was genuinely interested in what Oscar might have to say.

Oscar inhaled excitedly. It was exactly the sort of conversation he had been dying to have with Dean for years; back before he knew what a self-absorbed jerk he was. “Codey would be living the life of his dreams,” he chuckled. “That guy always landed on his feet!”

Dean nodded in agreement. 

“He’d have married some super-hot chick; probably a chef or something. Everyone would be really jealous of that. He loves his food, so he’s probably eaten so much of her cooking that he’s absolutely enormous by now. But… you know what Codey is like. He’d love it. It would make him feel more masculine. He’d call the other characters puny…”

Oscar was about to reel off a great many more ideas about where he saw the character now, but Dean’s face made him stop. The man’s jaw had dropped and he stared at Oscar with an almost indescribable expression. “That’s EXACTLY where I see him now as well!” Dean exclaimed. “Right down to the super-hot chef as his wife! I’ve asked so many people that question and no-one has ever come close to having the same vision as me!”

“Really?” Oscar asked, genuinely perplexed. “But it’s so obvious!”

Despite the fact that Oscar was pulled back onto set not long afterwards, things between him and Dean seemed to change quite a lot after that day. At first, he was perplexed to see Dean coming to see him in his trailer (never once knocking first), but pretty soon, it became something of a norm. Dean was deadly serious about wanting to bring back his old show, and he gradually began to share his notebooks, storyboards and jokes that he’d been storing up since he’d successfully negotiated the rights to the show from his family; only coming into effect once the current show ended. Laughter began to emerge from the trailer as the pair of them bounced gags off each other and came up with more and more potential plotlines. Within a few short weeks, there was enough material for a full 22-episode season, and possibly more. It was amazing how many stories Codey’s size would create as well; stuff that had never ever been done on television before.

“Won’t you be fed up of wearing a fat suit though?” Oscar asked, as Dean began describing one of the physical comedy sequences he could play out.

“No, I plan to gain the weight for real,” Dean stated with certainly. “Fat suits are for losers. They never look right either.”

“But… your abs…” Oscar mumbled, thinking back to the shirtless scene he’d done with Dean only that morning.

“They’re going!” Dean chuckled, rubbing his flat stomach. “As soon as this shit show ends, I’m going to be downing pints of whipping cream, stuffing doughnuts down my throat and having as many ten thousand calorie days as I can.” He seems more excited by that idea than Oscar had ever seen him. “And I can’t fucking wait!” he smiled.

Late September hit and the fourth season that they had been working on for over two months finally began to air. Reviews for the season opener had been mixed, but as episode two, three and four went out, there was a slow crisis building on set. The writers’ complacency had turned around to bite them. All of Oscar’s concerns about the scripts were being noticed by the fans: the circular storylines, the similarity of the episodes to previous seasons’. Overnight ratings were way down on last year. But, despite the grim looks of the producers, the atmosphere in Oscar’s trailer was one of absolute joy.

“Here’s to finishing in fourth place for our time slot!” Dean grinned, raising a cheeky beer that had been sat at the back of Oscar’s refrigerator for weeks. 

Oscar sat with him, pouring over the reviews and fan comments online. They laughed and began to speculate on how episode five would go down the following week.

“One beer and I’m feeling light headed!” Dean chuckled. “My personal trainers and nutritionist haven’t let me had one of these bad boys in ages!”

“Well, if things keep nose diving like this, you’ll be able to have as many beers as you like soon enough!” Oscar grinned. The possibility of the show getting cancelled had been all he had ever dreamed about for years. However, now he was celebrating that small hope with the one thing he had been lacking on set all that time: a friend.

In response to the damning reviews and lacklustre ratings, the writers had embarked on a mad flurry of rewrites. Each day, new pages were being delivered. Oscar laughed at the flaws in their panicked ideas; plot points that were being abandoned and others that directly contradicted things that had happened in previous seasons. Dean nodded along, pleased to know that it was all likely to go in their favour; although he openly admitted that he didn’t follow, or even understand much about the show and its storylines. “Apparently, this website says it’s 50/50 whether we get renewed next year,” Oscar reported, staring down at his cell phone during their break.

Dean stood up and helped himself to the beer he now kept in Oscar’s trailer, away from those who would scorn him for drinking it. “That’s still a fifty percent chance we’re going to be dragged back here next year,” he grumbled. “There’s got to be a way we can bring those odds more in our favour.

Oscar watched as Dean sat himself down sluggishly on the sofa, grabbing a cookie from the pack he had smuggled in that morning. His old image of Dean as the vain, egocentric jerk was slowly fading away. He’d come to see, just as Dean had always said, how similar the guy was to his character, Codey, on Bro Code. What would Codey do in a situation like this?

“Well, I do have one idea…” Oscar began, his heart racing surprisingly fast as the thought came into his mind. “You could always start… gaining a few pounds.”

Dean stared at him in surprise.

Oscar felt the need to justify himself. “I mean, you were planning on gaining weight anyway. But if the execs were on the fence about renewing us… a few extra pounds on the titular character’s body wouldn’t hurt.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose and he clearly pictured it in his mind. “Yeah,” he nodded; his smile getting wider and wider. “I think that could work.” He seemed to rub his stomach mindlessly. “It wouldn’t take much. My personal trainer has me so lean, just ten pounds would send everyone into a tailspin. It’d be obvious.” He sat up, like his mind was whirring into life: how he could do it, how fast it could be achieved. “This is an awesome idea!” he nodded. “Oscar, I think you’ve found the answer to all our problems!”

As far as Dean was concerned, the timing was absolutely perfect. Thanksgiving was coming up, and if that didn’t do it, the holidays certainly would. Mysterious boxes began arriving for Oscar’s trailer and he chuckled when he saw what was inside: fresh deliveries for a hungry guy, determined to lose his job. 

“...and a full can of condensed milk,” Dean boasted, listing off the ingredients for a calorie shake he had made himself the night before.

“And you actually drank all that?” Oscar asked, chuckling in amazement. 

“It was actually delicious!” Dean grinned. “There are loads of similar recipes online for guys trying to gain a few pounds. There’s so much information as well. If you really want it, you can blow up in no time.”

“And what does Jessica think of you downing these calorie shakes when you get home?”  Oscar asked, thinking about Dean’s girlfriend; now six months into their relationship.

“I haven’t told her about our plan,” Dean stated, sounding as if he believed it was none of her business. “She’ll see the results soon enough,” he chuckled, slapping his middle with excitement. “Then she can decide whether it’s something she’s willing to put up with or not. I’m not all that bothered, either way.” He reached across to the box of doughnuts sitting on the small table and took his fifth one that day, biting into it greedily; the largest bite Oscar had ever seen anyone take. He raised it up, like making a toast and mumbled with an almost full mouth, “I’ve got to hand it to you, Oscar,” he nodded. “This is the best fucking idea you’ve ever had!”

Production on the show took a break midway through December, just as it had done every year. Oscar was straight on the plane, heading back to the UK. Although he had managed to keep his unhappiness working on the show away from the public eye, his family all knew and sympathised with him; knowing of the struggles he had had. Now there really did feel like a reason to celebrate. With only four months of filming remaining, Oscar could really be about  to be home for good soon.

Dean’s smirk was written all over his face as he arrived at work that January. He’d been late and had rushed through make-up, so Oscar only saw him as he arrived on set, ready for their steamy sex scene that would open an episode, set to air at the end of February. Dean looked entirely refreshed from the break, dressed in his bath robes and strutting on to the bedroom set looking surprisingly pleased with himself.

“Did you have a nice break?” Oscar asked casually. Somehow, Dean’s smile seemed infectious and he felt his spirit lift, just being around the man. 

“Very good!” Dean nodded, almost knowingly. “I had the most fun I’ve ever had in my life,” he replied; before the director came over to the two of them to talk them through the scene. 

Dean seemed impatient to get going; only just resisting the urge to talk over the director as he impatiently bounced about, waiting to start shooting. Then the moment came. He pulled off his robe, revealing his built shoulders, letting the thick material fall to the ground. All of a sudden, the man was stood there, naked but for his boxer shorts; and the most terrible intake of breath was heard all over the set. All eyes were on Dean’s body. Over the break, a rounded little paunch had started to pop out under his muscular chest. It was meaty and his core remained undoubtedly strong, but it was packed tight and bloated-looking, spreading around to the side so that even from behind his gain was more than evident.

“What’s the matter?” Dean asked, knowing full well why nobody had moved an inch. His grin was one of complete pleasure at his own cleverness and he clapped his hands together, relishing every minute. “Let’s get this party started!”

Unsurprisingly, they were late to begin filming that day. Oscar wasn’t privy to the flurry of phone calls that were going on in the offices. Some pretty high up executives had just been given a very nasty headache on the first day back. Not that Oscar saw any of that. He’d been swept away to film his scenes for later on in the day, while Dean was clearly getting a grilling from someone. Not wanting to get behind on filming, it had been a rush to alter the schedule for the day, and Oscar already knew that he wouldn’t be getting home until very late that night. What on earth had Dean done? Oscar had suggested that he gained a few pounds to hide his six pack a little, but nothing like this! Dean had gone full-on beast-mode, growing a little pot belly in a matter of weeks! The image of it stuck in Oscar’s mind; a sight he would never forget; so bizarrely rounded and full on a man so athletic.

It wasn’t until the next day that Oscar saw Dean again. He’d heard rumours on set that their bloated superhero was to commence filming again that afternoon, but there had been no sign of him. However, there he was, sat on Oscar’s couch as he went back to his trailer for a twenty minute lunch break. His grin lit up the room as Oscar entered and he raised a cool beer up in the air, as if they were celebrating.

“Where the hell have you been?” Oscar blasted as soon as the door was closed.

“Crisis talks!” Dean laughed. “I’ve had so many people breathing down my neck for the last twenty-four hours, you wouldn’t believe it!” He lifted up his shirt to reveal his rounded stomach. “They pretty much painted on a six pack! Like that’s going to fool anyone! They made some clever changes to the costumes and have pretty much decided to hide my belly as much as possible. Apparently, they brought in some lady who’s a specialist at helping conceal pregnancies on screen. Can you believe that?!”

Oscar stared at the completely unconvincing six pack on Dean’s body. He felt a burning curiosity inside himself; like he wanted to ask Dean to remove his shirt entirely and let him explore all the changes properly. “I can’t believe you did this…” was all he could manage to string together.

“It’s insane, isn’t it?” Dean laughed, grabbing an actual wedge of fat on his middle and jiggling it. He reached out, grabbing Oscar’s arm and then slapping the hand down on his rounded middle.

“It’s actually soft!” Oscar shot straight away, trying to ignore the strange arousal he felt.

“It’s fat! That’s why!” Dean chuckled, releasing Oscar’s wrist. “Gain thirty pounds and this…” he pointed directly at his stomach “...is exactly what happens to you!”

“Thirty?” Oscar asked, unsure about whether he was surprised by that number or not. “I thought we said you’d gain ten pounds?”

“Once you start, it’s hard to stop!” Dean laughed at himself, slapping his little belly once more with pride. “This has been the best thing I have ever done. I finally feel like I’m starting to remember who I used to be. I was never into the whole super-ripped body thing. I just got sucked down this strange, narcissistic path because they all told me I’d never work again unless I became what they wanted.”

“What does Jessica think?” Oscar asked next.

“She flew back to Australia to be with her folks over the holidays. She gets back tomorrow. But, who cares?” Dean sighed, still looking pleased with himself. “It’s you I’ve been looking forward to showing. I’ve not told anyone, you know. Fattening me up is still our secret.”

Oscar didn’t know whether Dean meant it or not, but the whole situation suddenly felt a lot more intimate. When he saw Dean rubbing his stomach, it seemed like he was doing so only for him. They shared a look of mutual appreciation.

“We have to be careful from now on,” Oscar stated warningly. “If they get wind that we’re deliberately trying to sabotage the show, we’re in deep shit. You may be related to them, but I’d bet anything that they’d sue and try to take back the rights to ‘Bro Code’ from you. This little belly will have to be it for now. You can’t gain any more.”

Dean pulled a face. “I know you’re right, but I don’t want to stop.” He rubbed his stomach more now; like it comforted him to know his abs had been smothered with a protective layer of fat. “Now that I’ve started, I just want to keep going.”

“Please!” Oscar begged, his heart racing with panic. “We’ve got to slow this thing down. At least until we get official confirmation that the show is cancelled. Then I’ll happily stuff you full of doughnuts myself!” he joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Dean’s eyebrows rose and a boyish smirk came to his face. “You promise?” he asked in an almost flirtatious manner.

A second attempt on the opening scene was being made that afternoon. A couple of changes were being made, whereby Oscar would be the one to walk in half-naked, instead of Dean, who would now be lying in bed, under the sheets. They’d talked it through at a rapid pace, trying to get back on track with the schedule. The sheets were to be draped over them, but the hands would roam and the focus would most likely be on the kissing. That was something new for the show and Oscar felt strangely nervous as he climbed into the bed as they began filming. 

In contrast, Dean seemed more relaxed than Oscar had ever seen him during these types of scenes. They’d shared many kisses over the four seasons, but to Oscar, this felt almost like the first time; the first time he was doing it when he actually felt something for the man he had mostly despised up until now. Dean’s large hand held the back of Oscar’s head, pulling him in. Their lips parted and embraced, exhaling passionately a moment later. Oscar could smell the sugary doughnuts on the guy’s breath and couldn’t help feeling excited that Dean had quietly indulged himself somewhere, even after the stark warnings he had tried his best to emphasise to him. He dove in, trying to use that passion for the character, and Dean came back to more than match it. Simultaneously, their lips parted and they both went deeper. They hadn’t discussed using tongues before shooting, but now that they were in the moment, it seemed entirely natural. Now Oscar could taste the sugar on Dean’s tongue and it was sending him into an abyss of lust. He should have stopped the scene as soon as he felt himself getting hard, but, against every one of his professional values, he’d let the scene continue. He felt Dean roll into him more and he winced when he felt their pelvises rub into each other. Then he felt it, and everything was suddenly okay. Dean was hard as well. Their eyes met, knowingly, and the scene rumbled on.

“Cut!” called the director after capturing the final shot. “Guys, that was absolutely amazing!”

“I thought you’d agreed to cool the weight gain for now?” Oscar asked a few weeks later, as Dean pulled out a beer from Oscar's trailer refrigerator.

Dean unpopped the lid and smirked. “I’ve still got to make sure I don’t lose any,” he replied cheekily. “The personal trainer they got for me has been absolutely brutal,” he complained, despite raising his arm and flexing the extraordinary size of his bicep. He finished with a satisfied round of patting on his little stomach, then sat himself down heavily, enjoying the taste of his beer. “Apparently they’re all on edge upstairs. They’re getting the phone call from the network on Friday, letting us know if we’re wrapping up for good this year.”

“That’s happening on Friday?” Oscar asked nervously. In previous years, they had known before the holidays about their renewal. However, back then it had been an easy call to make. This year, with falling viewing figures and declining quality, they’d left them stewing until there were only seven more weeks of filming remaining. He immediately picked up his cell phone and began texting. “My agent in the UK is almost as desperate as me to find out whether we’re cancelled or not.”

“Your agent in the UK?” Dean asked, as if this had been the last thing he had expected to hear. “You’re planning to do some work in the UK after we wrap?”

“I plan to move back completely after this job ends,” Oscar stated simply. “I don’t think I’m quite cut out for the US.”

“What ‘s wrong with the US?” Dean asked a little defensively.

“It’s been the worst time of my life working on this show,” Oscar explained. “Is it any surprise that I just want to get the hell out of here? Los Angeles is such a bizarre place, full of egos, expectations and narcissism. Then there’s the politics and the gun culture…” he sighed. “No, it’s definitely not for me.”

Dean looked red, like he had just been slapped across the face. He upturned his beer and drained it down his throat, stepping back up and announcing that he needed to get back on set.

Oscar had never assumed that Dean would be someone who was so patriotic. With their characters currently split up during some weird alien planet saga that had overtaken everything else during this season, they hadn’t been working together for a couple of days. However, Dean also hadn’t been over to see Oscar in his trailer as he usually did.

The news came that Friday morning, just as Oscar had been hoping. Everyone had been called onto set with glum faces, expecting the worst. Oscar’s look of disappointment was one of the best acting performances of his career. The show was cancelled, ending, kaput, dead! Freedom was coming! He no longer cared that Dean was sulking with him, strolling straight over to Dean’s trailer that afternoon. He knocked on the door, giving Dean the courtesy that he had never received, and waited until Dean came into view. Not a word was said as their eyes met. Dean simply acknowledged him and then nodded his head for Oscar to enter.

Oscar looked around the trailer to make sure no one else was there before he burst out in excitement. “I can’t believe it! Can you? We’re finally free of this shit show!”

Dean didn’t share any signs of excitement, but simply trotted over to the kitchenette to lean against the countertop and survey Oscar more carefully.

“Aren’t you excited?” Oscar asked. Surely whatever had upset him the other day paled into insignificance now?

“It’s the best news ever,” Dean replied, without a trace of enthusiasm in his voice.

“Well… you could tell your face…” Oscar mumbled, feeling Dean’s low mood starting to bring him down too. 

Silence followed. The pair stared at each other in a way that wouldn’t have been possible had they not grown so close over the last few months.

“I don’t want you to go back to the UK,” Dean finally stated. “I just kinda assumed that… with all the work we’ve been doing, plotting out the new show, you’d want to stick around and see it through with me.”

Oscar felt touched. The idea that Dean had been upset because of his departure had never occurred to him and he told him so.

“I’m going to be going through a lot of changes soon,” Dean went on, mindlessly rubbing his middle. “Big changes. And I kinda want someone there who I can trust. Someone I can work with to get back into character.”

“What are you suggesting?” Oscar asked. “Are you looking for someone to produce it with you? Because… I’m not so sure I’ve got the skills for that sort of thing.”

“Are you kidding?” Dean chuckled. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. Our best ideas for the rebooted show have come straight out of that strange and marvellous head of yours!” He seemed to be thinking on his feet, giving the impression that there was a rush of words trying to gush their way out of his mouth. “All you have to do is glance at one of the scripts for this show and you know exactly what’s wrong with them. Everything that went downhill this season, you called it straight away: every plot flaw, every continuity error, every lame attempt at melodrama, you saw it first. You’re just… incredible! Of course I want you to produce the show alongside me.”

Oscar could feel himself blushing. He’d never particularly enjoyed receiving compliments and he squirmed under Dean’s praise.

“I watched one of the interviews you did a couple of years ago. In fact, I watched almost all of them that I could still find online. You said that you found it easy to pretend that you’re in love with me for the show because you pictured Codey from Bro Code when you perform. You said that you compare every other man you meet to Codey and they always come up short. Is that true?” Dean asked.

It was the second time that Oscar had been stunned that day. The thought of Dean spending his time studying past interviews he had done seemed almost surreal. He tried to shrug off the embarrassment and retreated, promising Dean that he would consider the incredible offer he had just made.

Things lightened between Dean and Oscar after that. With only four episodes left to shoot, an incredible barrage of rewrites were being thrust upon them to bring the show to a climactic finale. The fanbase had been outraged at the cancellation and the inevitable petitions to save the show were already underway.

“Hey, go easy!” Oscar chuckled, pulling a box of doughnuts away from Dean as he slobbed out in his trailer. “We’re not finished with the show just yet. You’re going to give the costume department even more of a headache if you carry on like this!”

Dean laughed and pulled the box back towards him. “Fuck it!” he cheered. “I’ve already told them I’m not doing any more shirtless scenes.” He pulled up the bottom of his t-shirt and flapped it over so that his belly button was on show. His stomach looked bloated; either from the six doughnuts he had just eaten, or from the longer term impact of his new, more relaxed diet. Nevertheless, Dean stared down at his small tummy as if it was the thing he was most proud of in the entire world. “I’m only taking on fat boy parts from now on.”

Oscar chuckled, revelling in Dean’s hedonistic attitude; so much different to the Dean he had known before. Dean smiled too, rubbing his little stomach and moaning as he took another huge, greedy bite of a fresh doughnut; all in aid of making Oscar laugh even more. “You’re so bad!” Oscar teased him. “If only your fans could see you now…”

“Yeah!” Dean agreed, raising his eyebrows mischievously and pushing in the largest piece of doughnut yet; struggling to chew it all and making them both laugh like a pair of giggling teenage girls.

“Does this mean that you’re going to start up those calorie shakes again?” Oscar asked, strangely enthralled by the idea. Dean simply looked down guiltily and smirked. “You mean, you already have started doing the calorie shakes again?” Oscar gasped, laughing even more. Dean’s self-satisfied grin was enough to make Oscar’s heart flutter to the extreme. How he loved this side of his co-star!

“I just want to get fat, man!” Dean stated, rubbing his stomach with the gentlest and most delicate of touches. “Do you think that’s weird?”

“No,” Oscar replied immediately. “It’s been your goal for years to bring back Codey. You’re looking ahead. Of course you want to change your body for the character.”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged. “It’s not just about that.” Despite slouching on the couch, there seemed to be an energy behind his eyes; a devilish twinkle and mischief that was so easy to fall in love with. “I just want to grow a big, fat belly on me.” He modelled with his hands the shape of an enormous ball sitting almost into his lap. “I tried telling my girlfriend once and she was horrified. She said it would be such a shame if I did that to myself. In the end , I backtracked and told her I was joking. But I wasn’t.” He looked Oscar square in the face. “I want to get fat,” he finally announced.

Oscar knew that he was supposed to say something at that point, but no words came to him. The least attractive quality of Dean had always been that vain ego of his. And now, even that was being stripped away from him. He was funny and playful, laidback and yet headstrong. He knew himself better than anyone else Oscar had ever met.

“Do you think it’s a shame too?” Dean asked. “The fact that I want to just eat and pack blubber onto my body?” His tone was strange. As if, just saying this aloud was somehow erotic for him.

Oscar simply shook his head and stared longingly into Dean’s eyes. He realised now that he had known for some time that there had been more to Dean’s fascination with his weight gain than was immediately apparent. And, even stranger, he found that he was falling even more in love with Dean because of it.

“I think you understand me better than anyone else in the entire world,” Dean muttered, seeming to sense that connection himself. “You’re going to produce the show with me, aren’t you?” he asked, as if he knew that the pair of them should never part.

Slowly, Oscar nodded.

It was a beautiful moment, but not one that could be cherished for long. Only a few seconds after the words had been said, there was a vigorous thumping on the trailer door, calling Dean back onto set. He grumbled, lifting his body up and wiping around his mouth and checking his handsome face in the mirror. He smiled back at Oscar with genuine affection, opened the door and was gone.

As Dean and Oscar poured over more story ideas and mapped out their pitches to the networks, they laughed harder and longer than ever before. No network could ever turn them down. Things could be less secretive now as well. Dean could start getting in touch with other members of the cast to see if they were interested in reprising their roles. It wasn’t just something to talk about anymore. All going well, they could be gearing up for production as early as fall. But there was also another, silent, unspoken aspect to these meetings. As Oscar went over on the weekend to Dean’s house, he noted that there was always food cooking or being consumed by Dean. He tried not to stare as Dean got up again and again to get more food, chewing, nodding and grunting in agreement as Oscar carried on sharing his ideas. In fact, the more Dean ate, the more ideas he seemed to generate about his character’s love of food: episodes centred around eating contests, recipes and his chef wife, who they both decided would have something of a feeder streak within her. It was old-school, recording a sitcom in front of a live audience, but that was part of where the buzz and energy of Bro Code had always come from.

“You could eat ten double hamburgers on stage, right?” Oscar asked, as the plot for one of the stories started entering his head.

Dean laughed and rubbed his stomach. “Even if I can’t, I’ll definitely have a lot of fun trying!” he smiled.

Oscar smiled back, gazing at that handsome face; even more beautiful with a little extra size in Dean’s cheeks. “All the shakes and food seem to be working,” he offered kindly, happy to go off-task for just a few moments. “You’re definitely looking a little huskier.”

The smile that spread over Dean’s face was instantaneous. He sat back in his chair and slouched until the arch of a little paunch was on show. Then, pumped from the compliment, Dean lifted off his shirt entirely so that he could show it off better. “It’s coming,” he agreed enthusiastically. “The girlfriend hates it of course,” he chuckled conspiratorially. “She thinks I’m just depressed because the show is ending!”

Oscar laughed too and shook his head, thinking how little Dean’s girlfriend actually knew him.

“I just can’t wait for it to be a real gut. You know, when it pops out properly,” Dean went on. “I’m loving the sensation of my clothes getting a little tighter though. Just that feeling alone makes me want to come down to the kitchen and drink whole pints of whipping cream!”

“And do you?” Oscar asked, intrigued.

Dean simply smirked and grabbed a little wedge of fat that was starting to form a love handle on his muscular frame. “What do you think?” he replied cheekily.

Dean didn’t put his shirt back on afterwards as the two of them continued to work. It should have been easy for Oscar to concentrate; after all, Dean had been practically naked for most of the first season. However, now his body seemed almost hypnotic, luring him in with the bloated stomach from all that he had eaten that day, as well as the extra pounds that had gathered through weeks of hedonistic indulgence.

Oscar had stayed a lot longer than he had anticipated and it was only when Dean’s cell phone alarm went off that he even thought to check the time. “Oh,” Dean mumbled, clearly shocked by how fast the hours had gone by. “That’s my calorie shake alarm.”

“You have an alarm to tell you when to have a calorie shake?” Oscar chuckled, feeling intrigued enough to follow Dean into the kitchen.

“Of course I do,” Dean nodded, starting to get items out of the refrigerator and setting up the blender on the counter. “Otherwise I get too engrossed in stuff and lose track of time. I used to do the same thing with protein shakes but… these are definitely not protein shakes!” he laughed.

“What things are you putting in this shake?” Oscar asked, picking up a tub of whipping cream and staring hard at the nutritional information on the back. No wonder Dean was starting to look so large!

That wicked twinkle came to Dean’s eyes again and he was quiet for a moment, simply considering something. “I think you should make it for me tonight,” he finally stated. “Come on, it’s easy! I’ve already got everything out. Just pick some things and throw them in!”

Oscar liked the playfulness of Dean and he was more than happy to go along. It felt teasing and arousing; almost romantic. “All right…” he began, pulling the lid off the whipping cream and starting to pour. He watched Dean’s eyes closely for any sign of when he should stop, but the longer he let the thick cream drop in, the wider and more devilish Dean’s grin became. Next he picked up some oil and slopped that in, not wanting the jug to overflow before he had put in a bit of everything Dean had got out. It almost felt like he was making a potion, pouring in one bizarre ingredient after another, in the hopes of pleasing Dean.

“You’re very good at this…” Dean whispered into his ear as the concoction got closer to the brim. He thought he’d finished when he felt Dean’s large hand grab his own from behind, guiding him to pour in just a little more chocolate powder. “That’s better,” Dean continued whispering, almost seductively. “Maybe add a little more of that ice cream too; really make my gut pop!” His large body was so close behind him, Oscar could smell his scent and feel the heat of Dean’s presence pumping out of him.

Oscar, more aroused by Dean than ever before, added the extra scoop and then put the lid on, blending the mixture up. It was thicker than he had anticipated, turning a thick, oozing brown thanks to all of the chocolate powder and sauce. He waited until the blending appeared to be completed, then pulled the lid back off, turned and presented the jug to Dean, who stood staggeringly close, waiting. He took the jug, biting his bottom lip with excitement and then lifted it to his lips. The man began chugging with a ferocity Oscar hardly thought possible. He stood in awe, watching as Dean’s already bloated tummy swelled further and further, inching its way closer and closer to him. But Dean didn’t even stop for breath. He didn’t pause or slow down; only swallowed, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Oscar had expected Dean to split the jug of calorie shake over a couple of days, given how much liquid had been in there. Yet, there the man was, throwing his head back entirely and swallowing the thickest and most sickly dregs that remained. Then, with a manly gasp of personal satisfaction, Dean lowered the empty jug into Oscar’s hands again, partially covering his mouth as he turned his head slightly and burped, long and rumbling through his thick neck. He turned back, looking at Oscar with great satisfaction, waiting for him to comment on what he had just witnessed.

“That was…” Oscar tried, simply lost for words. “I’ve never seen anyone…” Dean’s stare was so penetrating and exposing, Oscar looked down to the guy’s beefy middle instead. “You actually look like you have a real belly right now…”

Dean picked up the empty jug from Oscar’s hands and placed it on the counter behind him, removing the final barrier in their way. “Well, that belly is going to be here a lot sooner after that shake,” Dean whispered in that still seductive and erotic tone.

“I’m pleased that I could help…” Oscar whispered back, daring to look up into Dean’s eyes once more. 

What came next seemed completely natural. Despite how often they had kissed on screen, when their lips met this time, it truly was for the first time. Dean kissed so delicately, and yet with more passion than Oscar could ever have anticipated. For those brief few moments, he was lost to the world completely. Nothing else mattered, or ever would matter again. But then Dean jumped back, startled by something; a sound that had hardly even registered in Oscar’s brain, and he scrambled around for his shirt, quickly swiping the remaining cartons from the shake-making into the sink with a single swish of Dean’s long, powerful arm. 

“Hey, honey!” Dean shot, scratching the back of his head innocently and not knowing quite what to do with himself as his girlfriend strolled in. “We were just…” he began, in the way all guilty men tried to explain themselves. “We were preparing our pitch to the network,” he finished, looking mightily glad that she had made a noise loud enough to alert him before she walked in and saw the kiss. 

Oscar made his excuses and left; now feeling more confused than ever before.

“Good morning!” Dean chirped as Oscar stumbled into make-up that Monday morning, ready to film the penultimate episode. “Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Um…” Oscar began, still not quite awake; having been up half the night going over and over Sunday’s events in his head; second guessing things and almost convincing himself that he had initiated an unwanted kiss, and that Dean would never want to speak to him again. ”I guess so,” he mumbled, very aware of the others in the room, fussing over Dean and starting to get to work on him too. “How about you?” he asked, so as not to appear rude to his co-star in front of the make-up team.

“I broke up with Jessica,” Dean stated frankly, creating a collective intake of breath from the others in the room, who all gushed over Dean like he was a three year old boy who had just fallen over onto rough concrete. “Nah, I’m fine. I’m fine,” Dean countered, brushing the concern away. “I just decided enough was enough. We weren’t right for each other.”

Dean stared at Oscar through the reflection in the mirror, letting him know that he had broken up with Jessica purely for him. He gave Oscar a cheeky grin, making the skin on Oscar’s palms start to sweat. Were they really about to do this? Was he really about to embark on a romance with Dean of all people?

Oscar felt a large hand sliding onto his hip as he stood just to the back of one of the set pieces, reading through the scene one more time. “Why, hello there…” whispered the deep, flirtatious voice of Dean. His sweet, warm breath fell onto Oscar’s neck and he kissed him sweetly there, sweeping his hands onto Oscar’s torso and embracing him from behind. “I haven’t stopped thinking about last night…”

Oscar closed his eyes for a second and allowed himself to enjoy the sensation of Dean holding him so tightly in his large arms. He turned and looked up into the man’s eyes, quite taken aback with how much they sparkled with adoration for him. “I was worried that you might have been regretting it,” he confessed. 

“Not a chance!” Dean gushed, using his large hands to brush Oscar’s hair out of his face. “I wanted to call you last night but things were pretty… intense, with Jessica.” All the while he gazed into Oscar’s eyes, then sighed in satisfaction. “I want to kiss you again…” he insisted.

A shy smile filled Oscar’s face and he looked around their dark corner. “Someone will spot us!” he cautioned, laughing.

“So what?” Dean chuckled. “I want them to know. I want to shout it from the rooftops!” However, he could see the caution in Oscar’s eyes and he politely backed off. “Meet me in my trailer later then,” he whispered, skipping away like a lovesick puppy.

Later that day, Dean was sat in his trailer, smiling broadly as Oscar entered. A huge tray of doughnuts was now half gone, laid out on the table in front of him, with another one half eaten in his hand. He grunted in approval as Oscar entered, pushing the remaining half doughnut into his mouth and using his now free hands to reach out for Oscar, pulling him to stand above his lap as he outstretched his big strong thighs. 

Oscar chuckled seeing that, despite his eagerness, Dean needed a few more seconds to finish chewing and swallowing before he could even think about kissing. A little of the icing sat to the corners of Dean’s mouth and Oscar swiped them up with his index finger, offering it up to Dean who gladly sucked on it. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” he teased.

“There’s no such thing as a bad time when you’re around!” Dean gushed, puckering his lips and lifting himself up enough to kiss Oscar with incredible passion. 

The movement almost caught the perching Oscar off balance and his hand fell onto Dean’s stomach to steady himself. Dean moaned in appreciation, grabbing Oscar’s hand and taking it on a tour of his bloated middle as they continued to kiss. It felt so pleasingly erotic, enjoying Dean in a way that he knew no one else ever had before. Their own, private secret between them both.

“I gained two pounds this weekend,” Dean muttered not long after their lips parted. “I think the little shake you made me really did the trick,” he teased.

“I guess I must have the magic touch,” Oscar smiled, playing along and continuing to rub Dean’s bloated stomach.

Dean’s eyes were wild with lust. “You’ll have to make me some more shakes sometime… Really speed up this gut!”

Oscar grinned, feeling somehow empowered by how mutually aroused this was making them both. “Oh, don’t you worry. I will be,” he teased. The very air around them felt like it was sparking with electricity. “In fact…” he began, reaching back to the table to pick up a doughnut and hearing Dean’s breathing getting instantly heavier with lust, “...maybe we could test out this magic touch of mine right now…”

“Oh, please, yes!” Dean moaned, with greedy eyes on the doughnut and his enormous chest raising up and down. “Feed it to me, please!” he begged.

His hands down, submissively on his lap, Dean allowed the doughnut to enter his mouth, moaning with appreciation at how deep it was pushed. He bit into it like it was the most erotic moment of his life. One doughnut followed another, only stopping when the inevitable calls began for them to get back to work.

“Look at this!” Dean grinned, turning his cell phone screen to face Oscar a few days later. “Apparently we’re an item!”

Oscar’s eyes flashed with surprise as he saw the online article featuring a picture of the pair of them from a red carpet event two years before. It seemed to describe, surprisingly well, how the pair of them had been spending more time together as well as the quiet affection they showed each other on set. “There are bloody spies everywhere!” he quietly complained. “I guess we weren’t as subtle as we thought,” he whispered, looking around the set and the prying eyes watching them both. He hated articles like these where there was a glimmer of truth to them. He and Dean had not even been properly intimate with each other and yet, already the world was being told about them. The schedule had been gruelling and the days physically exhausting. The only light at the end of the tunnel was the knowledge that it would soon be over. Not long now and the pair of them would be free to explore their new relationship freely. 

It had been hard though; seriously hard! Despite Dean’s epic height and build, the fat he had been gaining was becoming increasingly obvious. He’d lost his ‘golden boy’ status with most of the production crew, as it just became clear that he had completely signed out of this job. His main costume had been altered several times now and the creative cover ups for his budding belly were becoming increasingly hard to achieve. Oscar knew why; Dean was so focused on ‘Bro Code’ and building his body up, he didn’t care that he was making extra work for everyone else. It probably didn’t even occur to him. In his eyes, he’d sacrificed too much time for this show, and he wasn’t about to waste another second. It was part of what he found so irresistibly sexy about him; his drive to now do whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences, or what people thought of him.

After the article, the two guys decided to try and keep things quieter. The last thing they needed was a flood of interest in the show and a last-minute rescue from cancellation. They’d denied the romance to their publicists and quit being seen together so much on set. It was even a little fun, ordering doughnuts and cakes to be sent to Dean’s trailer, then waiting for the inevitable horny messages from the man to come in as he gorged on them during his break.

There were tears on set during the final day, but not from Dean or Oscar; at least, not genuine ones. They made their speeches, filmed the last scenes and participated in the wrap party. But, as Oscar made it home that night, he wasn’t thinking about the fact that he was now unemployed. Setting his alarm for 6am, he knew tomorrow was going to be the biggest day of his life so far.

It would have been hard to describe to anyone else just how intimate food was in Oscar and Dean’s relationship. Oscar knew that in order to make his first time with Dean special, there would need to be lots of it. It would all need to be enticing, indulgent and highly fattening. There wouldn’t be time for any actual work or script writing today. The experience of waiting had left Dean and Oscar feeling like a pair of tightly wound springs, ready to be released. By the time Dean pulled up at nine, everything was prepared. The kitchen counter was loaded with snacks, and the house had a delicious aroma from the fresh baking. Oscar could feel the butterflies in his stomach as Dean strutted out of his car, carrying a fresh coffee in his hand; his t-shirt clinging surprisingly snugly against his now sizeable paunch which had been grabbing the attention of the hungry press for the last couple of months. He’d parked, as instructed, in a spot where his car would not be seen from the road; then a cheesy grin flashed across his face as he noticed Oscar in the window. 

Once the door was closed, the boys’ intimate kiss progressed very quickly from being sweet and delicate, to something a lot more lust-filled and hungry. Oscar took Dean’s hand and led him to the kitchen to show off just how much he had prepared for their day together, feeling his pulse pounding all the way down in his crotch.

“I can’t believe you set all this up!” Dean marvelled, seeing all the food out. He nodded towards the counter, seeing the exact same ingredients he used for his calorie shake, already set out, with one shake prepared and still in the blender. “YOU are just the most amazing person I have ever met!” Dean gushed, pulling Oscar back in for another kiss.

Oscar felt himself being pushed up against the refrigerator by the wildly aroused man, their kisses getting deeper and deeper. Dean only paused for a moment, lifting his shirt off and patting his stomach before diving back in again.

As difficult as it was to stop, Oscar eventually managed to tear himself away, catching his breath and trying to resist the urge to just run upstairs to bed with the sexiest man he had ever encountered. But, he’d worked hard to prepare for the day and he knew that just a little more patience would be needed in order to make the most of it. “So… what shall I feed you first?” he asked. “Your superhero days are done. There’s no point in even trying to hold that belly back now.”

Dean’s eyes were insane with lust. He picked up the blender jug and began pouring that fattening mixture down his throat. Oscar could feel his hardness weeping as he watched Dean’s head rise up as the jug slowly emptied, and he admired that strong, thick neck as he gulped and chugged with nothing but the urge to show off for him. When done, he grinned, burped and rubbed his already bloated stomach. “Where do you want me?” he asked, finally ready to be sat down and fed.

Oscar was amazed at his own restraint. He glanced at his cell phone, seeing it was now almost four in the afternoon. Dean had been grazing all day and eaten an absolutely enormous lunch. His gut looked so distended, the difference from when he first arrived was completely remarkable. They’d come close to giving in to their urges many times. During Dean’s fourth calorie shake, Dean had almost lost it entirely as Oscar began to suck him off at the same time. Somehow, they both seemed to know that the longer they waited and the more calories Dean could get down, the better the final climax would be.

“I’m never going home. You know that, right?” Dean joked as he was spoon fed ice cream after dinner. He had a hand resting on his rounded middle and hadn’t been able to stop rubbing it all day long, amazed at the shape it was taking on. “I’m just going to stay here and keep getting fatter and fatter every single day!”

“You’re just so incredibly greedy!” Oscar sighed with lust, watching as Dean bit into yet another double stacked slice of now cold pizza; a monstrously large and masculine bite. It was hard to believe that any man could still be able to consume anything after all that Dean had been fed that day.

Dean seemed to revel in the word, smiling with delight, his eyes dancing with mischief and joy as he ripped off more pizza, chewed and finally pushed the crusts into his mouth before slurping a large quantity of chocolate milk, as if trying to lubricate his throat. “I’m going to get greedier as well. I’ve been looking into it; how to train myself how to eat more. In six months time, all this will be nothing to me,” he boasted, motioning towards the many empty plates and packaging that littered the table in front of them.

“I’m looking forward to it…” Oscar nodded enthisiastically, knowing that he could no longer hold back. Seeing Dean’s dick flex and bulge with such hardness as he talked about training his appetite was the final straw. Rubbing in a little lubricant, he climbed onto Dean’s lap as the man slouched a little more, ready for what was coming and holding three stacked pizza slices in his hand as the final show of gluttony. Oscar only winced slightly as he slowly lowered himself onto Dean’s oversized hardness. He could tell by the way that the man’s eyes glazed over and his chin dropped, emphasising the slight spead of fat under there, that Dean had no restraint left in him either. He gasped, grasping Oscar’s dick in his large hand, before pushing that pizza in with only mindless greed.

Oscar’s eyes bulged. Dean’s sweaty palm was going to make him come too as he slid his butt up and down the big man’s shaft. They both started to maon as they felt it building, gazing into each other’s eyes as if baring their very souls to each other. Then it happened: the longest, most intense and explosive orgasms of their lives. It had been a long journey to get where they were now, yet both of them now knew that there would never be anyone else by their side from now on. Every step into the future would be taken together.

It was not easy being away from Dean, but the play in London had been the least that Oscar felt that he could do for his London-based agent, who had worked so hard to get him work back in the UK. Breaking the news that he wasn’t quite finished with the US just yet had not gone down terribly well, which was partly why he had been guilted into the six week stint in the West End. But, it had been so long since he’d done a real play, Oscar had almost forgotten the thrill of performing to a live audience: the laughs, the gasps, the applause. He could understand why Dean had argued so much to continue filming Bro Code in front of a live studio audience. There was no buzz that was quite like it. Yet, as he slipped back into his dressing room after finishing the second week, he sighed in longing for Dean and looked at the clock on the wall. It was still half an hour until their planned video catch-up call; just enough time for him to take off the make-up, slip out of the back entrance of the theatre and take the taxi to the soulless, one-bedroom apartment he was renting in Battersea. 

Just then, there was a knock at the dressing room door. Oscar felt inclined to ignore it as he hurried to get ready to leave. However, the second knock was louder, more forceful and impatient, making Oscar roll his eyes and finally open up. 

“Well, hello there!” Dean grinned smugly, taking in the joy that instantly spread across Oscar’s face. “Did you miss me?”

Oscar fell into Dean’s enormous chest and the pair began kissing passionately as they fell back into the room; sweeping the door closed behind them. “What are you doing here?” Oscar asked, still overcome with shock.

“I came to see you, of course,” Dean smirked, already taking his shirt off. “The play was awesome. You were amazing! Just incredible. You so deserve all of those rave reviews!” he gushed.

Oscar barely heard a word of what was said, so captivated was he by the changes since he left almost a month ago. Dean’s belly had been swelling so much. It now seemed so round and firm, overindulged and packed as it was so frequently now. But the fat was also building now in his pecs and his love handles bulged incredibly, giving a new wider mass to Dean’s middle that overwhelmed even the broadness of his chest. It was a belly; a true, fat belly!

Sensing that Oscar was overcome by the sight of him, Dean grabbed Oscar’s hand and placed it on the top of his gut, where it was starting to bulge and become shelf-like. “Oh, yeah. And I may have gained a few pounds since you left…”

“You look…” Oscar began in awe.

“Go on!” Dean smiled, clearly getting more aroused. “Tell me how fucking fat I’m getting!” he demanded excitedly, slapping his gut and grabbing a wedge to jiggle; demonstrating that it wasn’t anywhere near as firm as it looked.

“You look like a complete… lardarse,” Oscar smiled knowingly.

“Oh, fuck!” Dean moaned; his dick instantly smashing against the fabric of his pants. There clearly couldn't have been a better word that Oscar could have chosen to get the man so overtaken by lust. They fell into each other; Oscar’s hands roaming and exploring the changes as they kissed; grabbing and holding the fresh fat that had been packed on. It was a transformation like nothing he had ever witnessed before. That old hunk was gone forever. Oscar was, at long last, dating a real fat guy.

“I hope you packed your appetite?” Oscar smiled as they finally made it out of the theatre. “You haven’t been truly fed until you’ve experienced a proper London stuffing…”

It was incredible the difference a couple of years could make. Gone were the days of Oscar having to promote himself on any old talk show. Now he could pick and choose, knowing that his appearance was a boon to whichever show he had signed up for. His ongoing television and movie work, alongside his association with ‘Bro Code’ and its lead actor, had opened doors for him that he didn’t know even existed. Nostalgia was a powerful thing. Rebooting a show that had once been so successful, bringing it back even stronger than before; churning out outstanding content week after week; it had all led to multiple season orders and awards aplenty. Right now, he and Dean were working on two new pilot projects and had multiple ideas for spin-offs related to the original show. 

“So, Season three starts next week and we are all just so pumped!” the chat show presenter lamented, igniting a cheer from his audience. “Is there anything you can tell us about what’s coming up?”

“I’m afraid you’re just going to have to tune in and find out,” Oscar smiled back.

“Well, there is one thing we do know…” the presenter nodded to his audience, trying to make it sound like this entire conversation hadn’t all been roughly scripted beforehand. “It was announced a couple of weeks ago that you’re actually going to have your own character on the show.” At that, a promotional shot of Oscar in character arrived on the big screen behind them both and the audience cheered and clapped excitedly.

Oscar nodded, waiting for the overworked crowd to quieten a little before he spoke. “Dean and I came up with this character sometime around the middle of the first season and we just laughed our heads off everytime he came up in conversation. I could just picture him in my head so clearly, his voice, how he would walk. Dean spent about a year trying to convince me to play the character myself, until I finally relented. I think you’re all going to love him!”

“Speaking of Dean…” the presenter moved on coyly. “I know that fans of The Silence were freaking out when it was announced that you two were actually together in real life, but now it seems that the pair of you are fast becoming the new power couple of Holywood. Which, forgive me for saying this,” he smiled as a picture of Dean came up on the screen behind him, “somehow seems incredibly unlikely!”

His meaning was clear by the choice of picture up on show. There was Dean, in character, shirtless and gorging on a large bowl of ice cream that his sexy and hilarious on-screen feeder wife had just served to him. Oscar sighed in satisfaction. It was an image from the beginning of season two, and Dean was now a lot fatter than even that. “Awh! Isn’t he adorable!” Oscar smiled, making the audience laugh.

“His dedication to the role is outstanding!” the presenter went on. “There’s no way I would gain two hundred pounds for a role like he has.”

Just as expected, a shot of a shirtless and pumped Dean from ‘The Silence’ popped up side by side with another image of him, standing with his new, large and rounded belly at over four hundred pounds. But it wasn’t just the large stomach that was the biggest difference; the fat around his face had made him appear like someone almost completely different, and Dean had been surprisingly joyous as his incredible pecs melted into giant, jiggly moobs. The definition in his arms was gone, but its legacy was apparent in how well he piled fat in those area; making him look even more monstrous than before. His thighs too, once so muscular, had now been coated with a thick layer of fat, giving him an even wider stance as he stood and posed for the shot. Oscar could only gaze at the screen for a brief second before he felt the blood pumping into his groin.

“Don’t you miss the hot guy on the left?” the presenter asked, pointing to the before picture of Dean.

“Not at all!” Oscar laughed. “That guy on the left was an arsehole! I’ve spoken about this before, but the first three years of working on The Silence were awful. I hated him!” he smiled, making the audience laugh at the irony. “He was just trying to be someone he’s not,” Oscar pointed at the screen. “Now he’s much more comfortable in himself as a big guy.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to have harmed his career at all. If Holywood needs a… larger gentleman,” he tried senstitively, emitting titters from the crowds, “Dean seems to be on everyone’s speed dial. I’ve lost count of how many movies I’ve seen him in in the last couple years!”

“He’s a very busy boy!” Oscar nodded proudly, seeing that the production crew were signalling to wrap things up for a commercial break. Just in time as well; there was only so long that Oscar could discuss Dean’s incredible growth without flushing a bright red with arousal.

Back at home that evening, Oscar only had a short wait for his lover to return; just enough time to prepare his calorie shake and leave the ice cream out to soften.

“I’m home!” the big man called as he strolled in, immediately removing his shirt and unbuckling his pants, letting his large, open belt swing at the crotch as he pounded into the kitchen.

“Mmm! There’s my beautiful fat boy!” Oscar grinned, heading over to Dean to greet him. “I can see you’ve eaten well today,” he smiled, rubbing his hand across the man’s large stomach and feeling that it was tight. In contrast to what many might have thought, movie sets were a surprisingly awesome place to fatten up, considering the constant on-site catering that was available.

“I gorged like a little piggy all day long, just for you…” he teased, kissing his lover once more. “Is my shake ready?” Dean asked; his excited boner already pushing up against the fat that had invaded his crotch.

“What do you think?” Oscar smiled back, proud that Dean was still so keen to pump himself up with fat and calories. He watched on as the fat man strolled ahead to the counter; the fat rippling and jiggling in his love handles and the altogether new way he was walking with such a wide rear on him now. Then the four hundred and forty pound guy lifted that shake to his lips and began the chug; his free hand unable to resist the temptation of rubbing the soft fat of his underbelly, grabbing and jiggling it for his own pleasure. Then he put the empty jug down, burped loudly, before taking the second one to his lips and annihilating that too. “What’s for dinner?” he asked, grabbing the spoon and open carton of ice cream to begin that next.

“Grilled chicken salad,” Oscar lied jokingly, making Dean laugh. They’d plotted a storyline for the end of season three where Dean would have to be visibly fatter in order for it to work, igniting their shared passion for overindulging Dean more than ever. Whole new realms of obesity and gluttony. Five hundred pounds had seemed like a fantasy for so long. Now it felt like it was just around the corner. “No, don’t worry, Fatso…” he smiled, walking over to side-hug the big man and appreciate just how wide and thick he was still getting, “...you won’t be disappointed!”

[kiss2012]

ok rwrb thoughts under the cut <3

tbh i had to watch most of this movie with one hand over my eye and i was not. even going to reread the book because i don’t actually care about it much anymore but about twenty or so minutes into the movie? i literally stopped it and skimmed half the book finished the movie and then finished the book. so it’s possible that this influenced my whole experience of the movie but i remembered the book super well anyway and either way i think the thing i would have been most mad about is HOW COULD THEY LEAVE OUT JUNE and who tf is miguel omg. imagine deciding to combine two women into one character just because they “play the same role in alex’s life” and then not even doing it that well. nora isn’t even IN this movie she doesn’t even have a CHARACTER they just shoehorn her and pez together and give them five min of screentime. bea doesnt even have much of a character either i also thought maybe she and nora were going to be friends but no that disappeared after the first 15min. and because june doesn’t exist and because rafael luna doesn’t exist and because nora barely exists (all of whom are the main poc characters in the book btw) alex’s character is not half as nuanced as it could be. his arc about realising he’s bi is totally missing which is great…also his actor’s enunciation was very puzzling at times but i forgive him because of all the times i got distracted staring at his eyelashes and he was good at times tho henry’s actor is probably the best actor in the movie (not a tall bar btw but he’s way better than uma thurman GIRL WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT ACCENT) and it’s not that they don’t have chemistry or fun sweet romcom moments it’s just that i’m missing so much. romance. im tired of modern romance novels and movies having their leads get together super fast without spending much time on characterization and without even having much capital R-romance in the first place. where is the e-mo-tion in the immortal words of miss carly rae jepsen…like why did they leave out so much of the emails i cannot believe i watched so many random voice-overs and they couldn’t include the emails. also the small random change that bothered me the most is that they changed their first meeting being rio at the olympics to the climate melbourne conference (?????) and made their whole relationship pre-movie a lot less interesting. umm they did good with the interview and their interactions pre and post the cake but then they abandoned all of that half an hour in. do think the physical comedy is always way more fun to watch in a visual medium like that cake scene was hilarious they were just worse at the emotional beats. guys they used bad reputation 😭😭😭😭 i had to pause at that point…i had to pause and recover for ages. the get low scene contained a lot of Choices. the Choices were all very interesting and im not sure what more can be said about them. the beginning was fairly solid then everything sort of went downhill felt like i was watching a train wreck. mildly entertaining and occasionally moving train wreck but regardless a train wreck. btw let no one claim the political commentary in the novel is good but at least it slightly exists. the politics in the movie are completely spineless and extremely confused. yes it’s an amazon prime royalty romcom so what can u expect but they just hovered on the threshold of criticism. when they didn’t actually show a crowd of people supporting them or w/e but just showed the reflection of them in the window i almost started laughing. alex’s speech at the end lacked any subtlety at all and made no sense (why tf would he make a speech coming out + explaining his relationship with henry Before he talked to henry or the royal family???) the script is like constantly having characters say really obvious things. shoutout to stephen fry’s line delivery at least. there was a perfume genius cover of can’t help falling in love (it was supposed to be your song that played there anyway???). what more can be said.

#rwrb spoilers #tldr i got too invested in this movie that i literally expected to be bad from the on-go 😭😭😭 #WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BAGPIPES DURING THE POLO SCENE…..THE BAGPIPES……THE CLOSE-UPS…..

[istherewifiinhell]

i also want to give u megs and his duplicitous sluts but i have not sorted out their names to memory. the ones i enjoyed from the clips and any other ones he may have that make a fun duo with him

GOD BLESS U KFHBGJHDF o777

technically in terms of duplicitous sluts i feel like thats just screamer, and a small minority of like. only in one show guys (knock out the gay car, par example). (assuming meaning = duplicitous TO megs) beast wars megs, whose crew is made of entirely of ppl who want to over throw him, minus two extremely horny for him (googles how ants are related to scorpions) Antropods. is an outlier and is not being counted.

but i CAN do u. megstar variations. plus extras.

also COMPLETE opposite of a duplicitous slut megs and his most loyal guy sound.wave (tape deck guy. deadpan guy) is a constant standby classic. competency ship. and comedy gold. and even tho i dont like the show it gets extra comedy points in prime cause that megs is completely off his shit fucked up over the meg.op breakup and (plot bullshit) cursed amulet rocks. i DO think this specific sounders is like. probably ready to explode about how badly this whole operation is going. also all megs are fond of creatures (bond villian ass trait) and he comes with em. so makes sense if tf was a world ruled by logic (its not) and mid compelling.

knock out is only duplicitous when hes following screamer to over throw megs but he has the MUCH higher quotient survival instincts so WILL chicken out and run away. AGAIN in a world with a less divorced megs this would be funny. most deadly guy every and his little unserious fop. who does violence and medical malpractice for fun. does NOT make sense. compels me for its LACK

SAME show meg.star is like. this show is logically challenged. so it doesnt make sense. nothing they do makes sense. its not HIGH on the compells me scale cause its not very cunty either. but theres merits. its. extant.

cv meg.star. already made that post. more unstable variant in the makes sense stat. im eating it up tho.

g1 meg.star THE GOAT!!! makes sense TO MEEEE. Compels MEEEEE. this is cartoon universe with cartoon logic its like tom and jerry romance. please. makes sense in context. COMPELLING

animated meg.star. essentially the same as g1 but screamer basically actually kills megs in ep 1 and when megs gets his body back he kills screamer right back. but. (plot magic crystal) screamer becomes unkillable so. they just go back on to trying to kill each other. EXPLAINED IN UNIVERSE. makes sense slapstick. slightly less compels me personally BUT not its fault.

arm.ada meg.star. THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY REAL AND SAD. instead of an over throwing screamer this one turncoated to the good guys. and hes so conflicted and sad and whatever. wet cat. this arm megs actually beat screamer in a duel and was like. well maybe one day youll get good enough to beat me (chewing glass). AND for the final arc of. the bots and cons have to work together. megs too driven by his own shit to see the.. (handwave) existential threat to them all. oppie is fighting him (their normal way of solving debates) and screamer actually BUTTS IN like. this is MY dramatic emotional gay fight scene. gets fatally wounded on purpose just to ask megs to work with them. 'do it for me'. LITERALLY REAL MAKES SENSE in a tragic failed way. infinitely compelling.

#some shit #its not called cisformers #links all of my own posts just for clarity and bc ive become a wiki imitating monster #took a while cause i got called away to other posts then needed to eat THEN added the links. <- saying so cause its funny to know.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s hard to deny that in the 2000s, Will Ferrell was the comedy star. Starting off with minor roles in stuff like Austin Powers and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Ferrell hit it big in 2003 with the Christmas classic Elf, and then followed that up with the wacky newscaster comedy masterpiece Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. From there, the hits just kept coming: Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, Blades of Glory, Stranger Than Fiction, Curious George, and even a hilarious one-scene cameo in the Wedding Crashers. The man was on top of the world!

But then came 2009’s Land of the Lost. Based on a campy 70s sci-fi series, the movie was a pretty big bomb coming from such a massively successful actor; on a budget of a hundred million, it only managed to make about sixty-nine million back. Director Brad Silberling was relegated to producing TV after this, and poor Ferrell’s prospects as a leading man completely shriveled up overnight. After this, he basically has only co-starred in stuff like The Other Guys or done voice work for films like Megamind and The Lego Movie. Any attempts to get him back on top have been pretty middling, to put it lightly; does anyone remember Anchorman’s sequel? Does anyone want to remember Holmes & Watson?

But come on, it’s a 2000s Will Ferrell comedy! He was in his prime back then! Surely this wacky spoof of some goofy show from the 70s couldn’t honestly be that bad, right? Well, that’s what we’re here to find out. Was it justice that Will Ferrell’s promising leading man rep was lost harder than a Sleestak’s skin during sex, or is this a hidden gem unfairly judged because people didn’t understand it was meant to be a parody?

THE GOOD

The Sleestaks are easily the best part of the film, at least when they don’t have those awful CGI mouths transplanted on them. The suits look great, they’re weirdly adorable lizard people, and they mercifully didn’t go with the awful, edgy redesign from the 90s reboot. These guys are pure goofy 70s camp. 

The score of all things is solid too. Michael fucking Giacchino did the score! And it fucking rocks! Unbelievable!

...Yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

THE BAD

Oh where do I even fucking start? How about with Ferrell himself?

Look, I’m a big Will Ferrell apologist. His comedies tend to be absurdly lowbrow, especially something like Step Brothers, but he has a certain manic energy that makes him fun to watch. Here, though? All of the negative aspects of his acting are cranked up t eleven. He’s shoutier, he’s douchier, he’s just obnoxious and ridiculous… He’s just utterly unpleasant in this role.

It’s not like anyone else is remotely pleasant, though! Danny McBride especially is obnoxious in this film, and Anna Friel is boring and forgettable, but as bad as they are neither of their characters hold a candle to Chaka. Played by Jorma Taccone (of all fucking people!), he is an obnoxious chattering monkey man who is basically treated like a servant and who is played so obnoxiously that I swear to God he feels like he’s racist somehow. I don’t know what race this would offend, but it just has some sort of rancid vibes that only a racist caricature does.

The CGI throughout this film is just utterly ass. Like there is an awful CGI dinosaur antagonist, and at one point Will Ferrell vaults into its mouth, and at another he slides down its back, and both of them are effects so bad they make Sharktopus look like Avatar in comparison. I’m guessing that hundred million mostly went to Ferrell’s paycheck and the Sleestak suits, because it sure as hell didn’t go into the visuals.

Truly the worst thing about this movie is that its very existence feels cruel and mean-spirited. I have never watched the original show at all, but this parody is absolutely barefaced with its contempt for the source material. It just oozes a lack of care, passion, or respect beyond surface level stuff like the Sleestaks; do you know how much the characters are mangled from the show to the screen? The big bad of this movie is a fucking ally on the show! Imagine if they made a movie based on Scooby-Doo and they made oh, I don’t know, Scrappy a villain, wouldn’t that fucking su—wait.

At least in that movie’s case it was one singular lame element. This movie is just an excruciating exercise in being as lame and unpleasant as possible. It genuinely feels like it was just made because they had the rights to Land of the Lost and then they remembered the name of Ferrell’s character in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and decided they needed a Ferrell vehicle.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I know absolutely nothing about this series. I have no emotional attachment to it at all. I’ve never seen a single episode. But I don’t think you even have to watch a single episode to know that this movie is a slap in the face to fans of it. The entire thing just feels spiteful, and coming from a place of sheer malice. Yes, this film is that fucking bad, I can totally see why it blew up Ferrell’s career, and honestly it should count itself lucky that it has been forgotten because I say this film deserves even more hate. This is The Love Guru levels of bad. That 5.3 up there is beyond generous; this is easily a contender for the bottom 100 of IMDB, but I guess that would require anyone to give a shit about it.

But hey, as a non-fan, maybe my opinion doesn’t hold as much weight as what a truefan of the series would say. Thankfully, I have one of those on call, and here’s his summation of this film’s quality:

Hey, it’s me, @unadulteratedpiratepizza​, and I’m here to take you on a journey back in time! Long before streaming services, TV shows aired their new episodes on different designated times and days of the week, and Saturday mornings were the slot for new episodes of children’s programming. Back in the 70’s, long before me and Michael were born, the brothers Sid and Marty Kroft were the kings of that time slot, with their bizarre plots and expert use of their low budget, bringing us classics such as H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, and the subject of today’s review, Land of the Lost.

Land of the Lost was a high-concept soft Sci-Fi series exploring the adventures of Rick Marshall and his children Will and Holly, as they explore a bizarre world full of danger and mystery. They must survive hungry dinos, aggressive lizard people, and even time-displaced humans, as they search for the truth of this world and a way to get back home.

Unlike the high energy upbeat shows the Kroffts were known for, LotL was more serious in tone at times, with a pretty consistent world and strong stories. LotL had a team of prolific Sci-Fi writers, a number of which worked on the original Star Trek, which had the effect of some of the stories feeling like TOS episodes. No jokes, “The Stranger '' is such a strong episode with heavy Star Trek vibes, written by Walter Koenig, the actor for TOS’s Chekov.

When I said the Kroffts knew how to use a low budget I meant it, using stop-motion for all the dinos and reusing that footage constantly, cheap costumes and goofy special effects, this show had it all! But, you could have the best special effects in the world and that would amount to nothing without strong acting, and boy does Land of the Lost deliver on that. Everyone is bringing 110% to this show, which is so surprising given that child actors aren’t usually considered the best for serious roles, but when I hear these children scream for their lives as goofy costumed lizardmen shamble towards them, by god I feel like the Sleestak are the most terrifying creatures in the world.

All and all, Land of the Lost was a strong and fun show that took its world seriously, but still had plenty of room for light-hearted fun. It is unfortunate that by the 3rd and final season, most of the writers had moved on, and the actor who played the dad had also left, leaving it the weakest of the three, but I can still say this is a show I highly recommend, especially if you like old Star Trek.

The 2009 Will Ferrell led remake sucks.

And I think that’s all that needs to be said about that. Anyway, here’s a picture of a nightmarish, terrifying predator with a couple of Sleestaks. 

#Is It Really That Bad #IIRTB #Land of the Lost #Will Ferrell #review #movie review

[a-ratt]

Pink Lizard X Monke Prime: The New Empire

It occurred to my that I should probably talk about why I really loved Godzilla x Kong.

Slight spoilers ahead (I think)

On paper, this stupid idea of turning Godzilla pink and giving Kong an Infinity Gauntlet should not work. It's the basic premise of a superhero action schlop except it's big monsters. I came in with worries that the visuals wouldn't hold up and the story would be basic human-led garbage like the rest of the entries.

Incredibly, I had my expectations completely flipped.

Not only does everything look awesome (with the exception of a couple scenes in brightly lit, daytime environments where it's super hard to pull off big CGI scenes), but the writing was really, really good!

The humans exist as comedy bits and exposition machines of course, but the narrative weight of the film is placed on Kong's shoulders as he journeys through the Hollow Earth in search of his possibly extinct species. Every scene he's in, the story is told through his eyes, his body language, and his interactions with others.

(It reminded me a lot of Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal and fuck do I love that show)

His journey with Suko (Diddy Kong) through the film is very heartfelt and is also reflected in Suko's own character development.

Meanwhile, Godzilla is trying to keep the peace on the surface world, bringing down kaiju that are wreaking havoc everywhere until plot relevant stuff happens and he's forced to get ready for Act III.

And Act III? Oh man, the final battle is SO MUCH FUN.

While I do miss the darker, grittier tones of Godzilla 2014 and KOTM, where the kaiju had immense weight and this way of feeling like forces of nature, I also love the direction that the Monsterverse is moving.

If possible, I'd love to see that darker, heavier weight of 2014 and KOTM matched with the narrative writing of Godzilla X Kong. It'd be great to have a more serious film that follows Godzilla or Kong, but I'm not opposed to continuing this Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters-type tone.

On a side note, I actually loved the soundtrack to this film. I wasn't a huge fan of Tom Hokenborg and Antonio Di Iorio's music in GvK, but now I adore the motifs used to represent Godzilla and Kong. I still stand that everything Bear McReary touches turns to gold, but he's a busy man and it cost Warner Bros a helluva lot of money to buy the rights to use Akira Ikufube's theme for KOTM. (While I love Godzilla Minus One, I really hate that Toho is super protective of their IPs and even more greedy with licensing them out.)

Bottom line: If they keep making content of this quality then I'm going to keep giving them my money.

NOW GIVE ME SPACEGODZILLA

#godzilla x kong the new empire

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, I’ve got to talk about this latest episode of “Vinland Saga”, because good lord, it was amazing.

I’ve said before that I felt the anime improves on the manga in a lot of small, but meaningful ways, and I felt this episode was a prime example of that.  I’ve noticed throughout this series that it’s done a lot to tone down the sillier, more comedic aspects of the manga which I always felt clashed in an unflattering way with the overall tone and seriousness of the story, and this episode did maybe the best job yet of cutting away that excess and ill-placed humor.  In the manga, after Thorfinn takes his beating in order to talk to Canute, we get this comedic sequence in which his face swells up to ridiculous proportions and everyone is sort of having a bit of a laugh at his expense, and I always felt it was incredibly jarring after the weighty grief of Arnhied’s death and all of the events that lead up to it.  And so I was overjoyed to see them cut that entire sequence from the anime, and replace it instead with the poignancy and emotional depth that the climax of those events deserved, especially Thorfinn asking Einar to come with him to create a land free of war and slavery, their vow to Arnheid to build a land she would have felt was more appealing than death.  In the manga, the comedic relief following this scene undercuts the moment terribly, but here they completely avoided that mistake, and that truly was a superior approach.

I also felt that Thorfinn’s interaction with Canute was better handled, and came across less absurd and unrealistic as it did in the manga.  It still seems a bit far-fetched to me that Canute would just give up all his plans to forcibly take farmland in order to fund his standing army in England, and then proceed to disband that army, but the way the anime handled it and presented it gave it an emotional impact and beauty that I didn’t feel from the manga, and so it lessened the issue I had with the idealism of it. 

I adore this anime specifically for the fact that it treats its subject matter so seriously and is incredible at conveying the poignancy and feeling of its story, and of Thorfinn’s journey in particular, seeing where he started, and where he’s ended up.  Seeing his growth as a character.  How could one not feel proud of him, and admire his strength and resolve?  I love that they aren’t diluting it with silly, misplaced comedy like the manga has had a tendency to do in later chapters, and I hope to continue to see this trend throughout the series.  I was dreading the moment with Throfinn’s face being swollen, because I remember how it took me out of the drama of the story in the manga.  So, once again, when they didn’t do it, and instead maintained the seriousness of feeling that this entire series has had, I was so, so happy.

Phenomenally done, truly.  I can’t praise this anime enough.  I know I’ve been ragging on it for making Thorfinn too tall, lol (which, incidentally, they did a better job this episode of showing his actual height), but truly that’s the most nitpicky of nitpicks.  Everything else is literally pitch perfect, and I think this episode encapsulated why.  It had me on the verge of tears a couple times. 

#Vinland Saga #episode 23 #thorfinn karlsefni

[scotianostra]

Birthday Scottish actress Siobhan Redmond, born in Glasgow on August 27th 1959.

Please note wiki give her d.o.b as July 27th, but two other sources say August.

Redmond was educated at Park School for Girls in Glasgow’s West End. She then studied English at St Andrews University, it is here she started acting in student productions and is said to have been discovered by oor Makar Liz Lochhead. She went on to complete a one-year postgraduate year at the Bristol Old Vic.

Siobhan might not be a household name, but she has some pretty impressive credentials to her portfolio, her first roles were in comedy shows, the most famous being Alfresco in 1983/84 alongside an impressive line up that included, Robbie Coltrane, Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Emma Thompson and Ben Elton, as seen in the first photo.

She went on to become a regular character in the 80’s series Bulman, as Lucy McGinty. Perhaps her biggest TV role was in the 90’s cop show Between the Lines as Det. Sgt. Maureen Connell, after this she appeared with Alan Cummings in the underrated sitcom The High Life, a link to another post today, in 1997 we saw her onscreen with Billy Connolly in an adaptation of Deacon Brodie!

Redmond took on a role in the Hospital-soap type series Holby City as consultant paediatrician and clinical lead of Otter Ward, Janice Taylor. Since then Siobhan seems to have reverted to playing the role of a cop again, in The Bill, crime scene examiner Lorna Hart in 14 episodes in 2007 and in Taggart in 2010 she was Chief Supt Karen Campbell in 6 episodes. Redmond has also provided the voice of Ollie in the popular bairns animated show Nina and the Neurons. More up to date shows include, Queens of Mystery, Amazon Prime series Dark Sense and the Excellent mini series Unforgotten. We last saw Siobhan last year in The Nest and Grantchester, while she returned to Queens of Mystery this year, which also starred the excellent Julie Graham. Prior to that, there was a BBC Scotland comedy pilot, Beep, which aired earlier this year, and the opening episode of the latest series of Midsomer Murders, one of the first shows to return to filming last summer.

Siobhan Redmond has also been very busy treading the boards, as a regular member of the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford-upon-Avon, playing among others Beatrice in “Much Ado About Nothing"a nd in a play called ‘The Trick is to Keep Breathing’ which debuted at The Tron Theatre Glasgow, before touring all over the country and in Canada. She also starred in "Look Back in Anger” that followed a world tour in 1990 with Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson.

Siobhan recently appeared in the omedy-drama series Rain Dogs , she also turnedup in the sitcom Two Doors Down, whicha new series is in production just now.

#scotland #scottish #history #actress #television #happy birthday

[secret-engima]

Random funny thought I had for Galahdians and their culture clashing with Mainlander culture that I thought I would share.

So the thing is- Galahdians don’t really shy away from the concept of sex, but they also don’t think it’s ... that big a deal? On its own? It is so completely linked to the concept of “do this because you want kids” and their views on how precious and sacred children are that 1. Galahdians don’t *tend* to have one night stands because Why Do It If You Aren’t Interested In Being Parent? and 2. if they do they don’t use protection because They Want A Kid. and 3.-

They don’t really get the appeal of “racy” entertainment. Like- they frankly find m rated books to be *comedic* just because they don’t understand why it’s *such a big deal* to know who is having a fling with who or if they’ll get together or if one of them will accidentally get pregnant. Like- obviously they disapprove of extra-marital affairs/dislike reading that stuff because such bonds are considered sacred to Galahdians, but when it comes to two unmarried leads in a fictional story lusting after each other like horny goats? That’s prime stupid comedy to a Galahdian right there.

Cue the Kingsglaive making a drinking game out of it. They’ll go out of their way to find the Stupidest, Corniest “romance” book they can get their hands on and then on downtime nights in the Glaive base or in a camp, they will pass the thing around, taking turns reading passages aloud and taking shots every time they find yet stupid another way for the writer to not write the word “sex” in the manuscript or when one of the main characters goes into *another* pages long internal monologue about how badly they’re pining for the other lead or whatever.

None of them understand why Titus stumbled the first time he walked in on them doing this. Hey Captain, want to join in? :D

Titus, who just heard Nyx reading aloud a terribly written sex scene in a falsetto voice while the other Galahdians howled with laughter and took shots: ... *turns and walks out of the room again because he likes his sanity*.

#Secret Engima Rambles #galahd culture #kingsglaive #Calling for Rain verse #Thrown to Wolves verse #just for organizational purposes #also i'm not talking about good romance stories #in this #i'm specifically talking about the corny penny dreadfuls of the writing world #the bad fanfic that got published somehows of the world

[dani-sdiary]

Sexy

As a feminist and an ally I strongly believe that gender is not based on hormones or conforming to beauty standards. But as a person with PCOS, BDD, depression, and anxiety, I'm at war with my body, and losing. I am only speaking to my own experience, and I would never speak to or think of another woman in any way remotely similar to the way I do myself.

I don't know how a single person can be the exact opposite of every single beauty standard, but I am. I am huge: tall and obese with very masculine features- big hands and feet, a thick neck, arms, and legs, broad shoulders, and a robust frame and wide ribcage. I'm unproportional with a long torso and very short legs. I do not have a womanly shape; I have a protruding stomach and rolls yet a flat chest and bottom and narrow hips the exact same size as my thick waist. My breasts are low and point outwards to opposite sides and I have very large and dark areolas. My vulva is lopsided and dark and my inner labia stick out past my outer. I am covered in thick, dark hair on my light skin everywhere except my scalp, where it's thin, short, and greasy. I have textured, callused, oily, and heavily scarred skin and severe pimples, blackheads, moles, and stretch marks. My face is unsymmetrical. I have a a soft jawline and double chin, a wide nose, thin, pale lips, small eyes, short eyelashes, and uneven eyebrows.

I just don't how to not to whine and throw a pathetic self-pity party. I feel robbed. Of my joy, my youth, my body. I don't know how to move on when my body doesn't listen to me.

I want to feel sexy. I want to be desired. I want to be young. I want to be in the prime of my life, where I learn so much and make countless mistakes and have all these experiences. I want to be like any normal girl my age. I want to look on the outside like the woman I know I am on the inside. I want to be perceived as the person I really am. I want someone to think of me as a partner, as a woman, as irresistible. I want to be touched. I want to be held. I want to be wanted. I don't know where to put all of these excessive feelings stored up inside me.

I am seen as something completely apart from women. I'm something else, not viewed as feminine. I am the other. A freak. A monster. Broken.

Who am I? The hateful stereotype of a feminist who doesn't shave her legs, the circus freak- making a living off of my "deformity," the ever-supportive best friend, the crazy drug addict, the Latina with a mustache, the awkward middle-schooler who eventually became beautiful, the wicked witch, the evil queen, the villain. When I see those archetypes I see myself, and I just don't know what to do with that.

I'm a joke. My body is comedy, and often stereotypes about various ethnicities. My body is when friends poke fun at each other for being single so long that their hair has grown out. My body is the slapstick hilarious and painful waxing scene. I am the first part of the makeover montage, depicting an apparently clueless girl who, before today, has never heard of plucking her eyebrows.

There just doesn't seem to be room for me here. I don't think bodies like mine are going to be seen as desirable in my lifetime. I don't think that I will ever be an attractive person. And I don't feel I'm strong enough to accept my body until someone else does.

#tw depressing thoughts #cw #vent #tw depressing stuff #tw vent #trigger words #content warning #cw vent #tw #rant #rant post #ranting #personal rant #venting #so tired #feeling insecure #overwhelmed #lonliness #anxitey #insecure #anxienty #insecurity #i hate my body #fuck my body #woman #beauty #pcos #womens health #female health #body dysmorphia

[offbeatcappuccino]

wherever you are ~ my man is cupid review?!

I first stumbled across "My Man is Cupid" (MMIC) by accident on Amazon Prime and after watching the first few episodes, I was convinced that this show had set itself up for failure because it appeared to bite more than it could chew. However, nearly two months later, I stand corrected and I have to say no other show has kept me at the edge of my seat like MMIC.

The protagonist of MMIC is Cheon Sang Hyuk, a fairy who shoots arrows and sparks an attraction between two individuals. He lives with three other fairies with the same powers including Cheon Dong Pal, Cheon Dong Chil, and Cheon Dong Koo. The quartet of fairies live under the masquerade of twenty and thirty something adult men (with the exception of Dong Chil, who sometimes turns into a dog) as punishment for a mistake Sang Hyuk made 500 years ago. He falls in love with a woman, interferes with fate, and burns his own wings in the process. When Dong attempted to shoot him with an arrow in order to save him, he misses and their wings transformed from light feather to heavy metal. Since the incident, the fairies have been diligently shooting their arrows and setting humans up and going through several phases of metamorphosis in the hope that they can restore their wings.

It is in the months preceding his last metamorphosis that Sang Hyuk comes across Oh Baek Ryeon, a 28 year old veternarian, who has never had the chance to fall in love. Baek Ryeon's love life is beset with misfortunes as every man she has tried to date throughout her live is met with a near fatal injury. In a chance meeting with a tarot reader, Baek Ryeon discovers that she has sinned in her past life and in order to repent for her sins, she must climb to the top of Inwangsan Mountain and pray for 1000 times until she can meet her soulmate, something which she dutifully complies to. Baek Ryeon and Sang Hyuk meet for the first time at a small restaurant when the inebriated Baek Ryeon mistakenly calls him "honey" and the restaurant owner forces Sang Hyuk to settle her bill and take her home. They run into each other several times after the incident and they can't stand each other. However, after Sang Hyuk saves her life from a stalker and is shockingly uninjured, Baek Ryeon (miss delulu) falls instantly for Sang Hyuk, who she affectionately calls "Superman-ssi." This sets into motion the "looks one-sided but is actually mutual romantic relationship" between both characters.

Playing in the background of Baek Ryeon and Sang Hyuk's love story is the kidnapping of Go Eun Seo, a middle aged woman, who goes missing during one of the snowiest nights of the year. Coincidentally, before her disappearance, she was last with Baek Ryeon as both women, who were complete strangers to each other, are urged by the restaurant owner to share makgeolli and jeon. Leading the investigation is homicide detective Seo Jae Hae. What connects him to the main characters is not only the murder case, but also the fact that he becomes the guardian of one of the dogs that Baek Ryeon saves and treats at her clinic. He is also romantically attracted to Baek Ryeon, resulting in a love triangle between the three individuals.

My Man is Cupid is an incredibly complex story with multiple genre threads intricately woven into the storyline. It is romantic comedy, fantasy, mystery, thriller, star crossed lovers, and reincarnation galore. It's surprising how its audacity uplifts the story rather than burdens. Its also a show that isn't scared of being seriously wacky. Characters dream about their past lives and hypnosis is treated as a legitimate way to procure crime scene evidence. The second lead becomes obsessed with unveiling the main lead's identity- even at one point in the show positing a theory that he may be an alien, though he is the lead investigator of a pressing and ongoing murder case that is desperate to be solved. If things weren't crazy enough, the last episode is a cherry on top to the absurd. Everything about this show is an oxymoron, but at the end of the day its chaos and incoherence is what makes it logical, perfect, and entertaining.

Similar to its cousin " Moon In The Day", MMIC hinges on what I call the "obscured flashback", where the flashback is intentionally revealed in bits and pieces to often mislead the viewer. This tactic alongside the hypnosis is what I believe allowed the writers to seamlessly integrate the different genres in the plot and prevented the story from over-exending itself into the serial killer storyline and failing to address the fantasy elements.

MMIC wasn't the show that I was excitedly waiting for every week, but it was the one that pleasantly surprised me when I watched it in five minute stretches during my twelve hour night shifts. Like many of the shows that have come out this winter, MMIC is not a philosophical treatise laden with symbolism on the meaning of life or love. At its best, its jumpscares mixed with how whimsical and silly a person can become when they are in love. Its an optimistic reminder that at the end of the day, we all have that one person, who we are destined to be with even when the circumstances seem impossible. Finally, for all of us "delulus", its a heartfelt tale endorsing our chaotic existence on this planet.

Give My Man is Cupid a try. I don't think you'll regret it.

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

#kdrama review #kdrama recommendations #jang dong yoon #im jinah #my man is cupid #oh baek ryeon #cheon sang hyuk #amazon prime #park ki woong #nana

[animehouse-moe]

Heavenly Delusion Episode 2: Two Confessions

Where. Where Where Where, where to begin? Maybe explaining some of the foreshadowing? Or what about the incredible choices in direction? What about the incredible additions that IG has added to the series? Whichever it is, Production IG has nailed it and then some. Their know-how, ability, and execution has continued to dazzle and stun with this second episode from opening to ending.

I think the first thing that stands out is the sense of direction within the episode. Right off the bat we're playing into the sense of voyeurism that was established in the first episode. The viewer being hinted at as existing, as Tarao makes a point of pondering what is in the vents.

Hirotaka continues with that stellar sense of direction, with plenty of shots with characters in motion, from behind, partial close ups that hide their face. In a word, it's like a found film anime, it completely avoids the typical sense of exposition and allows the excellent writing and world to truly flourish. It presents something that feels incredibly lived in and something that remains definitively separate from the typical anime. The characters aren't there for the viewer, it simply happens that we come across them. They can end up partially hidden from view, or even completely obstructed, it's such a perfect approach to a post-apocalyptic world steeped in mystery and curiosity.

Alongside what Hirotaka's already established, the main dish from this episode was outstanding. The Hiruko was handled impeccably, continuing to lean into the horror aspects of it. Partial sightings, incredibly fast movement, and inhuman motion. It all slots into place to create a very disturbing picture of the man-eater.

Then add in the intervention of the inn-keeper. From there the Hiruko transitions to natural motion. Acting meek and injured in the face of its protector, behaving like there's some degree of humanity or nature left within its existence.

Once more it changes pace and nature incredibly quick, and presents a prime example of visual storytelling (which I'll dive into later), but the piece that gets me is its death. Pitiful, as it lets out just about the only cry during its existence, as its head/neck cranes towards the moon before giving out. A wonderful piece to neatly tie off its involvement, both in a symbolic sense, but also a stylistic one as this Hiruko has been constantly featured in association to the moon.

So how about that visual storytelling then? Absolutely incredibly work that Production IG leverages thanks to the medium. Visual and auditory cues that feed directly into what the characters are doing, and sometimes even giving implicit information.

Take this two-in-one scene of Maru luring in the Hiruko for Kiruko. Firstly, it didn't exist in the Manga and was an original scene to flesh out the encounter and give it more of a body. But secondly, it shows the depth of their teamwork already. That they're able to work through plans together and trust each other so much. It really adds a great deal to the dynamic.

Especially considering that it piles itself on top of other scenes like Kiruko taking the lead throughout the episode, and even in original scenes like when the pair flee from the Hiruko.

Or maybe even the simple act of having a flashlight dance across a box so that somebody could catch a glimpse of it.

It's also so incredibly well polished and understood. This isn't just a team that's "read" Heavenly Delusion, this is a team that is in love with it. They totally get it and are finding ingenious and incredibly intuitive ways to help improve every facet of it to make an anime for the ages.

Alright, bear with me, two or three more things I want to go over from this episode. I'll start with the lighter one, comedy. They do a really solid job of defusing moments like when Maru falls down while they're searching for the Hiruko, and at the same time even make use of comedy to amp up more dull ones quite well like paddling their raft across the large expanse of river. Both sides of the coin do really well and adding that "lighter" aspect to the episode, and the malleability of the art style in various moments also really helps with that.

The next piece is the expression of sexuality. I think they handled the really sensitive pieces of it quite well today while making it sanitized enough to be broadcast. Overall, similar to the prior episode (and something that ties into it), there's a lot of expression about sexual exploration and interest, both with Kiruko and Maru, and the institution. Though with the former the exploration of sexuality is through the lens of Kiruko, and the latter is (mostly) that of Tokio. With Tokio, it's her curiosity in the fact that there's two people kissing, that there exist romantic interest and interaction, of which Tokio has never seen, between two people.

Following that, we get an answer to a "mystery" from the first episode. Incredibly well done to better express the intent behind it, the scene of Kiruko moving to kiss herself in the mirror now has two purposes in the anime. The first is to liken it to the scene of the two girls kissing in the institution, but the second was to hint at Kiruko's true nature. For those that weren't quite paying enough attention, Production IG changed the nature of the fracture in the mirror during her scene. In the anime, it creates a clear separation between Kiruko's head and her body, to foreshadow her confession from this episode.

It's really great to see how they handle the expression of sexuality, considering how delicate a subject it can be. There's comedic moments within it to lighten the mood, a few scandalous pieces to allow it to keep that edge, and plenty of deeper meaning in regards to exploration and interest.

Phew, alright. Made it to the end. Despite not having "a lot" of content in the episode, there's a mountain of details, information, and interesting pieces to pick up and pick apart (especially including the OP which I might do later). Also, not to mention a world of foreshadowing and hinting at stuff still exists, but I'm not going to ruin the fun of anime onlies. But yeah, if it wasn't clear by the first episode, Heavenly Delusion is going to be the king of this season as Production IG continues to act as its experienced steward, guiding it to victory, whispering secrets to success in its ear.

#heavenly delusion #tengoku daimakyou #天国大魔境 #Production IG #production i.g #Maru #kiruko #anime recommendation #anime review #anime and manga #anime #horror anime

[siremasterlawrence]

Beware! The Valley Of The Dolls Part 2

Henry Cavill is proudly arrogant business buffoon who has been making utterly foul comments about me.

The frustration on his face shows by my odd and barely visual expression of difference to his attack.

He wants me it reacts and cause a scene so he can record turn it viral all over the net.

No thanks, I have plans for him and he will

wish he never went toe to toe with me.

“Whatever you are planning it will not work out.” He confidently says walking in to my room.

“What is your issue with me?” My words are firm and guarded.

“This corporation is filled with dodgy actions and advertisements.” I smile getting it.

“What are you really here for?” I ask a quick sweep to hair.

“Fuck you! You heard me.” He howls at my lack of caring.

“Fine! Please take a seat this clearly will be awhile.” I retort a pressing a button under the table.

Chris walks in to the room stunning as ever with a small device he places to the back of the room.

A mini screen projector blast onto the tiny projection screen descending down the wall.

Henry is at a loss for words watching the video it’s a comedy with a faint multicolor background.

It’s spinning in a circular fashion almost like a spiral, he can’t look away staring at it gets him hard, and he can’t help himself.

“Is something funny?“ I ask the man who is a hysterical babble of fits.

“Apparently so, did occur to you I am doing the world service?” The question pushing even my senses a bit.

“Those to find love, dominant, submissive,

dating, marriage and whatever else.” I add

“Will you stop me in my quest for ultimate control just because you lack the insight to get on this?” He lets the question linger.

“No, I will not” it’s shot but sufficient start to his demise.

“Oh well! Good we can begin your undoing.”

I say out loud.

Chris leaves the room turning off everything as I had previously left it and I ponder my own outcome.

Here is a chance to get revenge and make him a prime example of snag is possible.

Breaking this prick will ensure my own issue of pulling this off because he will be hard to do.

Henry dazzled by the screen, addled mind and nothing more can only obey my every command.

“Stand up! Remove every article of clothing” I state.

“Don’t move a inch, bend over for me and smile.” I add laughing extremely happy.

“What a pretty boi, here’s a present.” I say placing the mini chip in his neck.

“Fool! It’s always beast such as you that need to be tamed.” My voice lowers in to a whisper in his ears.

“This may hurt a bit, but who cares.” I continue fidgeting with it.

“Aaaahhhhhhhh” his screams curl mixing in to the sounds of the day.

I mind shifts to my next stage of the plan so I call Chris in to task him with setting up the brat.

Fuck him! He is hot though I think I will do before I sell him for the highest bidder I can find.

My mouth curls upward in curiosity at my instant photo image machine I can create anything for it to synthesize.

The machine comes to a hulking stop at a howling scream then shoots out a new mini mini device.

I place it on my cap turning it backwards to set up, place on my head as I walk back to the room and I think update new specks.

“Updating…Updating”

“Processing….Processing “

“Upload complete”

“Upload complete”

“Yes fuck, Henry Master Lawrence “

“Oh Master! Please”

I creep up behind him yanking my cock out in preparation getting harder by the second

Suck me off Chris is think as he reaches for my cock kissing it, licking it and sucking it.

Lick Henry’s hole I think as Chris jumps to do just that in a lustful manner and I glee

“I am ready Master”

“Please use me”

“Oh baby!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”

“Oh it hurts! Oooohhhhhh yeah”

“Fuck! Ooooowwwwwwwwooooooohhhhh”

The end

#Hypno Dolls.

[gijoe-forever]

From the G.I.Joe cartoon fan page on Facebook:

No, Joe fan... Your eyes are NOT deceiving you! The October Guard, G. I. Joe’s Russian counterpart, DID appear in the Marvel/Sunbow 1980’s era cartoon series, with liberties taken, of course (what did you expect faithfulness to the source material?). 😔

While the October Guard retained its 5 member team (for at least one episode), their looks are different, as is the line up.

Colonel Brekhov (voiced by Gregg Berger) looks significantly younger- in the comics, he looked like an army veteran, but still older looking than even General Hawk or even General Joe Colton in the comics, and both Hawk and Joe are a Brigadier and full General respectively. Remember, the October Guard are an elite unit, by rights, Brekhov, given his rank shouldn’t have looked that old in the comics. Odds are, they have the best equipment and priority over supplies)

Daina is now a brunnette, and not as young as in the comics, nor as hot.

Horror Show (Frank Welker) is one character that’s closest in look and attitude as in the Marvel Comics series. As there, he is not particularly intelligent (think Dreadnok level) and he is more comedy relief. In the cartoons, he has a rivalry with Gung-Ho, something never seen in the comics, though he is more derisive of Americans in Special Missions #20.*

The driver seems closest to Schrage, the East German infantryman seen in the comics (Stormavik sports the blue-and-white striped shirt of the Spetsnaz elite Airborne Troopers)**

The odd man out is the Chinese ‘cowboy’, Wong (voiced by Neil Ross) (who winds up paired with Snake-Eyes in this episode). Odd because the old USSR & Red China have split off ideologically (and fairly acrinomously) in the late ‘60s; there’s no way they’ll have mended fences.

The October Guard made at least 3 appearances in the cartoons:

1. “The Invaders”- the G. I. Joe Team and the October Guard join forces against a seeming alien threat, which Snake-Eyes outs as a Cobra fraud.***

2. “The Great Alaska Land Rush”- The October Guard are assigned to recover a symbolic grail that solidified the selling of Alaska to the United States by Russia in 1867. One of the few animated stories where the writers actually wrote a researched story, clearly influenced if not inspired by Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt novel Night Probe! ****. In this tale, the October Guard is called Red October*****.

3. Arise, Serpentor, Arise- The Joes & October Guard join up to prevent Cobra from getting the corpse of Russia’s Ivan the Terrible which Dr. Mindbender needs to complete Serpentor.+

The October Guard does not appear in the DIC series, though their later CO in the comics, Red Star, appears in a couple.

* Horror Show: “No argument! They are wrong, and we are right!”

Col. Brekhov: “You missed your true calling. You should have been a political commissar!”++

**They were the elite soldiers utterly decimated by John Rambo in the films Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III in Vietnam and Afghanistan respectively.’

*** The episode was wasted in the way the reveal was made- in a scene more deserving to be seen in a Scooby-Doo story.

**** In Night Probe!, Adm. James Sandecker of the National Underwater and Marine Agency and Dirk Pitt are called in to recover the North American Treaty, a document signed near the start of World War I where Britain sold Canada to the United States.

James Bond guest stars. Sorta.

***** Possibly a nod to Tom Clancy’s The Hunt for Red October.

+ Daina makes a cameo in the Transformers episode “Prime Objective” flying a fighter-bomber that’s captured by that episode’s true villain; a character that seems based after Kraven the Hunter. Colonel Brekhov seems to be the official Daina is talking to by radio at the start of the episode, and possibly the “Comrade Colonel!” a Russian soldier calls after when the fighter is later retrieved by the Autobots and left just outside the Kremlin.

++ One more thing, in both the comics and cartoons, the October Guard are spared having a Political Officer, the smarmy man who makes sure that a military unit remains ideologically loyal to Soviet Communist doctrine. In the novel The Hunt for Red October, Capt. Marko Ramius, the CO of the Red October, kills the ship’s Political Officer, Putin, to effect his plan to defect to the US.

NB: “The Invaders” was written by then Marvel G. I. Joe editor Denny O’Neil, best known for his work at DC as editor of Batman.

[dollycas]

Fatal Fudge Swirl: An Ice Cream Shop Mystery by Meri Allen #Review @StMartinsPress

Fatal Fudge Swirl: An Ice Cream Shop Mystery Cozy Mystery 3rd in Series Setting - Connecticut St. Martin's Paperbacks (June 27, 2023) Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1250267102 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1250267108 Kindle ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0B8X39J9R

A movie production brings drama—and murder—to a close-knit New England village, forcing Riley Rhodes to scoop out the suspects. Former CIA librarian and amateur sleuth Riley Rhodes is loving her fresh start as the manager of the Udderly Delicious Ice Cream Shop. The leaves are turning, tourists are leaf-peeping, and Penniman, Connecticut is putting finishing touches on the weekend long Halloween Happening. But the village is also buzzing. Former child star Cooper Collins is overseeing the production of a romantic comedy that’s filming on the town green and his domineering socialite mother, Diantha, is planning her lavish Halloween themed wedding at her Inn on the Green. Her fiancé has run the Inn's kitchen for years, ably aided by his recent ex-wife, chef Mary Ann Dumas. An old friend of Riley’s, Mary Ann turns to her when the bride requests a spooky ice cream wedding cake. But the weekend takes a frightful turn when Diantha is found dead and suspicion falls on Mary Ann. The cast of potential suspects is long—each wedding guest had a chilling motive to kill the vicious heiress. Can Riley unmask the murderer before another guest ends up on ice? Dollycas's Thoughts We are back in Penniman, Connecticut just in time for the Halloween Happening and a Halloween-themed wedding complete with an ice cream cake created by Riley. A crew is also in town filming a rom-com with child star Cooper Collins at the helm. There is some drama with the wedding as socialite Diantha, who happens to be the child star's mother, is marrying the long-time chef, Dominic, of Inn on the Green. He is recently divorced from Riley's friend, Mary Ann, who is also a chef and she has worked side by side with her husband for years. The event takes a deadly turn when the bride-to-be is found dead in her bed and the wedding cake is destroyed. Of course, the prime suspect is Mary Ann but it seems every wedding guest including her children, had a reason to want the woman dead. While Riley's work at the Udderly Delicious Ice Cream Shop winds down for the season she needs to put on her sleuthing hat and use her CIA librarian instincts and skills to swirl up a way to put the freeze on the real killer. Riley continues to show her sleuthing chops while she handles to day to day business at Udderly Delicious. She gets some fun news at the beginning of the book and part of her past tries to reinsert itself into her present. By the end of the story, she makes a big decision but another is still pending.  I love the supporting cast of family and friends the author has surrounded her with. I really enjoy getting to know her dad and step-mom better and love it when the frisky feline, Sprinkles steals every scene she is in. Diantha was quite the diva and had no trouble stirring up the drama. Her sons were really out for themselves as well. The murder mystery was really interesting and the murder weapon was surprising and unique. Riley did find ways to be at the inn a lot to keep an on eye on all the suspects and I had fun tagging along with her. There were plenty of clues and nice twists but I did focus on the guilty party long before Riley. That did not hinder my enjoyment of the story at all. There is a subplot concerning George Washington that I found really intriguing. It was a true puzzle to solve as those clues fell into place. The movie being filmed really added to the story and the author found cute ways to inject a lot of humor there. I enjoyed the Halloween theme and all the Halloween plans for the town's Happening. The leaf peepers were out in force. While I liked the description of the autumn weather I am not ready to leave summer behind. All the stops at Udderly Delicious sent my ice cream cravings into overdrive. Fatal Fudge Swirl is a fine third installment of the Ice Cream Shop Mystery Series.  I am hoping Riley's decision at the end of the book is setting up book four. I am excited to see what happens next. I can guarantee you will be craving ice cream as soon as you start reading so dish up a scoop or two of your favorite and enjoy it while reading this fun mystery.

Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent About the Author MERI ALLEN/ SHARI RANDALL lives in a quiet corner of Connecticut, where she haunts libraries, used bookstores, and vintage shops. Website

  Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Receiving a complimentary copy in no way reflected my review of this book. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read the full article

#Connecticut #cozymystery #icecream #MeriAllen #NetGalley #St.Martin'sPaperbacks