#Villainous zone

[bingusbongu]

May I humbly request some Dr. Flug general dating hcs.. (hES SUCH A LITTLE GUY RVRGGGRGRHR)

-🖋

A/N: SORRY IM ALITTLE LATE URG URG URG, well, i did do some Flug canons awhile back, BUTTTT since he is my favorite character of all time ill do some more:) I WANNA KISS THE BAG MAN. Also im going to be trying out some tumblr post styles in the next few posts i do to actually make my work appealing and attract more people! So dont mind if it looks different^^

SORRY THIS IS KINDA LONG I HYPERFIXATED SO BAD

《 Masterlist 》

《 Rules 》

TW: Stalking, mentions of neglect and abuse, murder and insane scientist behavior , mentions of starving,

Dr. Flug General Dating HCS

• okay, the fact that he even managed to start dating you is truly bizarre to him. Even the fact you found out he liked you was by pure accident

• you either found out from Demencia who spilled the beans on accident while blabbing about the doctor, or Flug accidently fumbling out an "i love you" after you either do something for him while he wasnt paying attention.

• though, it worked out right after he found himself with a partner, and he STILL is so befuddled about it

• does not know a single thing about being in a relationship. You are going to have to be the one taking the lead. Slowly showing him the ropes of how a relationship works. He litterly took notes while you tried to explain everything to him, ITS IMPORTANT TO HIM OKAY??????

Once he gets an understanding of how a relationship works, he kinda starts,,, watching you abit more? Not only is he worried about you but he also tries to figure out your favorite things. He gets even more observant of you. Documenting you like you are some wild animal.

oh? You like a certain food? Writing it down. Certain type of chocolate? Writing it down. Special interest? Favorite music? Favorite animal? Favorite color? Everything about you he has down in his brain and his notes.

• though, he is usually to busy to actually go out and buy you certain things, so, instead, when he occasionally had time, he might tinker something small for you or fix something you need up! Just go to him and ask! Or if you dont, you might find it mysteriously fixed the next day

if YOU get him something, he has to stand there and pause for a second. You, got him something? You took your time to pick him out something? You put thought into a gift for him? He absolutely gets butterflies. And when i mean Butterflies, i mean he gets BUTTERFLIES. He stutters a thank you so bad as he is stimming in his spot.

if its an item like a plane thing he treasures it SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. He will start crying. Anything you buy for him or make for him, he puts it up somewhere so he can always see it, always. When he gets stressed he will look over at it and it automatically calms him down its SO SWEET

• he is so nervous to initiate physical affection that he clams up. He has gone so long without any actual form of touch that isnt to harm him, that he completely forgot what gentle touch feels like, so you are going to have to go slow as to not overwhelm the poor baby:(

Starting by holding his hand, gently slipping it into his own hand during a random time like just walking. He nearly jumps, but once he notices, he gets so flustered just by the little hand holding that he eventually slowly closes his fingers around yours in a gentle hold.

Occasionally putting your hand on his back when he gets upset or angry ir stressed is a MUST, He immediately relaxes

I think he needs a massage, like desperately. Rub this mans shoulders, rub his back gently. He shivers at your touch but completely folds. He has so many knots in his back its sad. So, occasionally, Flug will let you try abd work them out for him

Cuddling would take awhile im the relationship. He still gets so flushed under your gentle touches, that he has to adjust. Once he does though? You best believe he is coming to you for it. After a long day, he will go and find you and collapse into your chest while mummering something and letting you coddle him while listening to him rant, and MAN he appreciates it. He also likes it sometimes when you just are quiet together and he isnt doing something and leaning on eachother. Either he is tinkering or reading something and your are next to him with your head on his shoulder. Its really nice for him to get some quiet.

• kissing??? That also advances over time. You have to start slow. So your first move is definitely a cheek kiss. Slipping one onto his bag on one occasion, he nearly overheated and passed out. Like actually fainted

your form of kissing is just you occasionally pressing soft kisses to his bag. Which would usually happen in the mornings, when no one is looking in his lab, or at night. But each time he nearly explodes.

ACTUALLY kissing him though???? A DREAM. he has to get used to your bag kisses to actually think of kissing you for real. And he gets so flustered by it. Everytime you kiss his bag he cant help but wonder how an actual kiss with you would be like. So, he would stop you one of the times after you kissed him, and shyly ask you for a real kiss. He nearly coward out of it when you happily agreed. Though, you gave him his time, as he lifted his bag up only ever so slightly, and you leaning in to kiss him

Mfs heart actually almost stopped GIVE HIM CPR STAT. It was just a quick kiss, but you had to catch him from falling over before he passed out again

Will occasionally give you kisses back, mainly in the mornings before he goes straight to work, he gives you a little kiss and sluggishly leaving to slave away.

• Dates are alittle tough. Flug is ususlly pretty busy, but, atleast once a month you guys go out with eachother, going who knows where but enjoying some much needed time together

• cant flirt for the LIFE of him. Its always something science or plane related. Its adorable yes, but he doesn't have no capability of flirting with anyone, even if he tried.

• your guy's relationship is very secretive. Especially with Flug being a villain it puts a target on you. Even if you work alongside him, he dosnt want anything to happen to you, so he does everything in his power to protect your guy's relationship. Who knows what would happen if the big Hat himself found out?

The only ones who know of your relationship is Demencia and 505, and his bots

• SPEAKING of 505, he ADORES you. You become his second parent. Adding you in drawings and EVERYTHING. when Flug first started liking you, 505 definitely did his best to edge his father on and talk to you, he is such a good son UGHHHH.

• Flug finds alot of comfort in your presence. You can just walk into a room that he is in and he immediately relaxes and becomes much calmer.

You are his safe place. Eventually, he will open up to you, you just have to give him time. He has been keeping in his emotions for so long he forgot they even were there. So, if you let him vent out everything to you and you just hold him and listen to everything he has to say, just holding him and letting him actually cry for once, it makes him feel so safe. Like he dosnt have a reason to fear around you.

Will show his face to you eventually, just give him time

• usues nicknames only in private, like 'mi amor' or 'love'. And will have a heart attack if you call him one right back

• you are always there the moment he gets hurt, patching him up while he complsins that he could do it himself. But, underneath, he feels do special to have someone care for him for once in his life

• Flug is VERY protective over you. You are way to special to him for anything to happen to you. He makes sure you have a bot with you 24/7 to protect you incase he isnt there to do so, and to keep an eye on you. He dosnt knoe what he would do if he were to lose one of the only things that actually matters to him. So he always has your vitals up and always knows of you are okay or not.

Benefits of having a mad scientist of a lover, you have to be used to it. He tries so hard to hide that gruesome part of himself away that you just have to accept him for who he is. Even if you do, he still would prefer to keep you away from his work as to not traumatize you, no matter if you are used to it

Though, if someone is bothering you, being mean to you, just automatically tell him if he dosnt already know, they will go missing within an hour after you tell him. He would litterly do anything for you. You can say "kill this man" and he will attack without hesitating.

• he doesn't get to jelous, he mainly gets insecure. If your talking to someone else, he eternally freaks out, thinking about how he is a bad partner and your are going go leave him. You have to reassure him that you love him and are not going to leave him

• is very hesitant when you offer to help him out in the lab. He dosnt want you to end up hurting yourself, and he would feel awful if you were to do so. When you do try and help him out, its mainly just giving him tools and listing to him rant about the new invention. Regardless, the two of you enjoy the time together.

• just, out of random, you are the cook. Flug has so much troubles trying to cook its sad. He never really had time to learn for himself, and he is used to his bots doing it for him instead, or not at all. So, to make SURE this man eats, you make him food! Keeping Demencia away from it and bringing it down to his lab to eat, instead of starving himself. And boy does he appreciate it so much

Speaking of his bad habits, you have to make sure he actually eats and drinks water and rests. He is so stubborn and fights you sluggishly on it, but you always win and are dragging him to bed.

• Flug wont say it, but he depends on you so much, you are his rock, his caretaker. What on earth would he even do without you? You guys actually have a healthy relationship. You are aways with him and supporting him, no matter what the situation is, he knows he has someone who actuslly looks to him as a human being, who gives him the love he needs

He loves you so much, you are the sun to him, brightening him up and bringing him warmth and comfort.

He often asks himself

How did he get so lucky?

#villainous x reader #dr flug x reader #flug x reader #kenning flugslys #dr flug #villainous #reader insert #x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #x reader headcanons #i hyperfixated to hard URGGGGG #I LOVE THIS NERDY BAG MAN #i need him to kiss me rn #Villainous zone

[bet-on-me-13]

The First Supervillain

So! A Typical "Early Start" AU where the events of The Show happen early in the Timeline. Like, in the 70's or 80's.

Danny never quite managed to fix his Public Perception, and even years into his career people still saw him as the Villain.

Coincidentally Valerie was seen as a Hero because of how often they were seen fighting. Even after they revealed their Identities and got together, they still had the occasional Battle. It was their love language.

His role as the Villain was Cemented when Pariah launched his Second Invasion of Earth after some dumbass accidentally freed him, and Danny took the Blame for it. Instead of being seen as the Hero who battled Pariah and stopped the Invasion, he was seen as the Tyrant to launched the Invasion in the first place, with Red Huntess being the one to defeat him in one final Ultimate Battle.

And honestly? He was fine with that. Now that he was the King of the Ghost Zone, he had the Authority to Regulate the Portal so villains stopped getting through. And that meant that he wasn't needed to stop random Ghost Attacks anymore. He could finally focus on College and his own Life, instead of sacrificing everything to act as the Protector of the Human Realm.

Val continued to be a Hero for a few more years, eventually retiring when it became Clear that the new generation of Heroes could pick up the Slack.

He went to College, got a Job as an Aerospace Engineer, and eventually proposed to Valerie.

About 20 years since his initial Accident, and he was doing great! He had moved into a humble home on the edge of town with his loving wife Val, his beautiful daughter Ellie, and his cute dog Cujo.

Yeah, life was good.

Until the day Danny accidently caused a Mass Crisis.

...

Superman was having some extreme trouble in dealing with his current Opponent. He had just been flying around the City, patrolling as Usual, when all of a sudden he had been attacked by a Flying Mech Suit.

At first he had assumed that Lex was giving it another Go, but he quickly realized that was not the case when the Armor seemed to Phase though solid matter in the middle of the battle. Lex had never made Tech advanced enough to do that on the fly.

This opponent was tough too. Strong enough and Durable enough to go blow for blow with him, and seemingly able to pull Advanced Weaponry from out of nowhere whenever he wanted. As tough as it was to admit, Superman as losing the Battle.

Then, without warning, the battle stopped. His opponent was staring at the space just behind him, with a look of pure dread. He turned around, and his heart stopped.

Floating behind him, staring right past him and directly at the Mech Suit, was the First Villain Phantom.

He looked much the same as when he had last been seen, although he was definitely Older. He had snow white hair, and glowing green eyes that seemed to stare right past him and into his very soul. He was wearing what seemed to be a costume of sorts, with an all black suit, white gloves, and white boots. Over his Shoulders sat a Cloak made of Stars, and above his head sat a Crown made of an Icy Blue Fire.

The Mech tried for a greeting, "Er- Hello t-Lord Phantom. How do you d-"

"Skulker."

"Y-yes?"

"What are you doing here? I thought I gave you explicit orders to stay in the Ghost Zone until further notice. You disobeyed me."

"Okay look. I got excited, that's my fault. It's just, I got anxious waiting. Can you really blame me? I've been waiting 20 years to take another Crack at the Human World, what's it matter if I left a few weeks Early?"

"I told you. You were supposed to wait exactly 20 Years, and you left Early. This calls for punishment."

"No wait!"

"Let's see how you feel after a few days as Soup."

The Villain pulled out a Thermos, and in a flash of green light, Skulker was gone, and the King was capping the Thermos. He then turned to Superman.

"I apologize for him, he decided to leave ahead of schedule." The King addressed him. "Now, Kryptonian. Rest and tend to your wounds, you will need to be in your best health if you want to continue saving the lives of those people below us."

With a dramatic flare, the King reached up and Tore a hole in Space. Through the Hole, Superman could only see an infinite Green Void, with the sound of screams cheering being heard through the rift.

The King departed through the Tear in Spacetime, and it closed behind him.

Superman tried to collect himself, and activated his League Emergency Comms.

"Attention All Founding Members, and Justice League Dark Members. This is Superman calling for an immediate Emergency Meeting."

He took a deep breath.

"Phantom is Back."

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Phantom is the first Supervillain #Red Huntress is the first Superhero #Danny/Valerie #Danny x Valerie #When Valerie and Danny battled against Pariah Dark they both managed to beat him #So they both became the King and Queen of the Zone #But nobody knows this and thought that Hero Red Huntress had defeated Villain Phantom #Danny went along with this since if was just easier and he didn't plan to ever break out the Phantom Persona again #Until Skulker decided to break the terms of his Parole #Skulker was supposed to be released in a few weeks but he got excited when he learned that a new Rare Species had become a Hero #He violated his Parole and left to the Human Realm Early #Misunderstandings #Now Superman thinks Danny is planning an Invasion of the Human Realm #They need to find Red Huntress #she would know how to defeat Phantom #Too bad for them she never let her identity be revealed

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 168

Flash messes with time, in doing so Danny ends up in a bad position.Danny was totally by coincidence summoned to clockworks towers. He gets back to see His parents way are now way big mad scientist. Like on the leagues watch list mad scientist. Like villainous mad scientist. But the two do hide there identities shockingly well.

Danny in this never had his accident. So his parents had enlisted his rouges to help cause chaos and mayhem. The world is now constantly pestered by ghost from the zone.

Phantom does not exist. No one is friends with jazz or Danny out of fear.

Jazz is the one to realize something is wrong, followed by the parents who want to forcibly make Danny help them, even if it means breaking him. Jazz helps Danny escape.

Danny had it and knows it has to be flashes fault. Clockwork has told him stories about flash, mainly to make fun of him. But it has to be his fault.

Cue Danny dragging jazz along to go yell at flash for messing with time. Flash has no idea who Danny is (he was small time Danny had avoided them). Danny is not having it at all just screaming at him about his parents being crazy, none of his friends being his friends and blames him for the ghost problem now facing the world.

#dpxdc #Danny is mad #jazz is confused #be fun if flash can’t fix it #as the world was worse before #Danny didn’t see how bad it was cause he was in the ghost zone #Danny now has a ghost problem to deal with #vlad is totally helping #he is down #the three would make a good villain trio #flash messes with time #but clockwork finds it funny the bulk of the time #clockwork was not letting Danny loose his powers and had him in his tower #that way the effects didn’t hit him

[normalzucchini]

Alhocol does have effect on Danny, contrary to him saying one can't get dead drunk, when they're already dead. In reality, alhocol influences him a lot more than normal people.

So obviously when he gets black out drunk from one little sip of beer, while he's watching Despicable me with Tucker and Sam, he has the genius idea, hey, why shouldn't he steal the moon? He likes space, and he's dead! He never got any compensation for that, and all the shit he has to deal with, so little compensation wouldn't hurt right?

That's at least the last thing Danny remembers thinking. But now that he's awake with a killer hangover, his sister screaming at him and showing him the news about a new rogue who stole the moon and caused all the shitty consequences that come w that. Like the tide being gone. Oops

#dpxdc #dpxdc shitpost #dpxdc crossover #crossover #dcxdp #dcxdp crossover #dcxdp shitpost #shitpost #writing prompt #drunk Danny #tw alcohol #sam and tucker acted as Danny's minions #but they were on earth laughing at him #all three of them dont remember shit #it becomes little more concerning when the League of villains send them invite saying their presentation convinced them #or when they find weird ass green dog in the green zone next to cujo #did they kidnap someones dog?????

[theminecraftbee]

hermit horror week day 4: season 7 or taken over

Xisuma slowly blinks at the console logs for the server again. He's very tired; he's been collecting blackstone again, and it's very tiring, collecting blackstone. He's been building a lot of pretty houses, and stocking a lot of shops, and he hasn't had time to look at the console much recently. He probably shouldn't be now, because he's tired, and tired people make mistakes.

He makes a lot of mistakes; he's silly like that. A big derp. It's why he has to be careful, since he's been tired so much lately. He definitely shouldn't have the console open.

It's just, earlier Impulse had a question, since his moss farm kept lagging, and Xisuma thought it would be easy enough to try to find the root cause of. And he did find the root cause of it--Impulse's farm is too fast and his storage simply doesn't keep up with the amount of moss--but there's... some other things...

He blinks again at the dates on the server files. The last edited dates. Slowly, he clicks again on his own player data, and tries to make sense of what he's reading. Files like this, they aren't really meant to be that human-readable. It's--well, it is mostly json, so it's mostly human-readable, actually, but a lot of it is still encrypted, for player safety, which would. Maybe explain what he's looking at? He thinks? He's--well, he does have root access, is the thing, because he's the admin, but he still shouldn't be able to look at any player willy-nilly.

He's a little too much of a derp to be trusted with that. He probably shouldn't even be looking at his data! It's just. That last edited date. Xisuma doesn't edit his own player data. That way lies madness. He's, uh, pretty sure he knows some people who went a little mad doing that. So the fact of the matter is--well, it's not the only file that's been edited recently, he tells himself. Just because it's a lot of memory files that seem to have been edited, as well as access permissions--that's... normal enough for a new season, right?

He's...

He doesn't notice his other self walk up behind him.

"Oh, hey Xisuma. You finished gathering materials for our next build, then?" Evil Xisuma says. All of Xisuma's hairs stand on end.

"I mean, I've gathered enough to get started," Xisuma says.

"Pity. I was really hoping you'd manage to get everything. I thought maybe we'd finish today, but I guess we can't now."

"I--you're right. I'm really sorry."

"No, no, don't worry, don't worry, my friend," Evil Xisuma says. "We probably couldn't have finished today anyway, even if you said you'd try for it."

Xisuma's heart is in his throat. "Sorry, my head's just been. You know how I am. Silly me, forgetting things."

Evil Xisuma shakes his head. "It's awfully lucky I came back this season. Think of all the important things you'd be forgetting without reminders!"

Xisuma looks down and away.

"Gosh, and now you're... playing around in the admin console?"

"Oh!" Xisuma says. "It's, er, nothing really big..."

"Can I see it?"

He barely resists the urge to close out of his player data and hide that's what he'd been looking at. He doesn't know why he wants to hide it. It's not like--well, if Evil Xisuma got mad about it, it would be... right, wouldn't it? Because, well, Xisuma knows full well he shouldn't be looking at or editing his own player data. Editing your own data is the way to madness, and Xisuma, well, he's been so tired lately. He could easily accidentally hit a button. He could easily accidentally hit delete. He has root access, after all.

His heart is in his throat again. He shuffles his feet. "Sure," he says, finally. "I, er, I promise, I wasn't doing anything. I just noticed the last edited date on, uh, files that aren't automatically created by the system? And I thought, gosh, that's weird. I'd only been in there to check on Impulse, really, after he'd had some lag issues. I was just finishing up. It's nothing--the date's weird, though, right? That's all I was noticing."

He watches Evil Xisuma's fingers scroll through all of Xisuma's data. It's not quite fast enough that Xisuma isn't sure he's reading it, and suddenly, Xisuma feels very small.

Finally, Evil Xisuma hands Xisuma's tablet with the admin console open back to him. Xisuma looks down, and Evil Xisuma has closed out of the player data again.

"You just forgot the last maintenance date," Evil Xisuma says.

"Really?" Xisuma says.

"Oh, yeah, for sure. You're so tired lately. You silly derp. You've just been forgetting things easily. You should really get more rest!"

"Oh, but then we won't finish our projects," Xisuma says.

"I guess we wouldn't," Evil Xisuma says back.

"It's just--it's. Most of the time, access permission for player memories isn't edited during maintenance, and I just--I don't remember putting your name down?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

Xisuma tries to think.

"I don't know," he says finally, small, unable to meaningfully articulate anything about what's wrong with it. "I guess it only makes sense, if I'm forgetting things so easily."

"Exactly! Gosh, we make a good team," Evil Xisuma says, and he smiles at Xisuma. Xisuma crookedly smiles back.

"Yeah, we do," Xisuma agrees.

"Don't pull that out again unless I say so, okay?"

"Okay," Xisuma agrees automatically, and then he knows he will not. It makes sense. If he was upsetting himself over nothing like this, why, imagine what he'd do if he could open it whenever? He'd just constantly be upsetting himself!

"Now, my friend, let's return to building the Evil Empire."

"Let's!" agrees Xisuma, and just like that, the entire encounter slips from his mind.

#hermithorrorweek2023 #a bee fic #hermitcraft #xisuma #evil xisuma #emotional abuse #mind manipulation #(like genuine warning for emotional abuse here albeit like. somewhat subtle manipulation type.) #if this fic is late in my time zone. no it isn't. #anyway. i will never stop thinking about. whatever was going on between xisuma and evil xisuma in season 8. #anyway. ANYWAY. god one day i'll write the Very Dead Serious Take on that plotline. maybe this is one piece of it. #anyway the horror here is only barely the implied possession it's more the implied. emotional abuse. #GOD i will not stop thinking about the implications of that storyline whether intended or not #like. i'm forever like. did he INTEND to imply the abuse that so many of those cutscenes imply #or was he just trying to write evil xisuma acting like a villain? #anyway this isn't how i'd write evil x for any season that isn't season eight specifically btw you can blame it on jeff if needed

[gentrychild]

Aizawa: I don't get it Problem Child. Everywhere you go you run into and/or fight villains...but your house hasn't been attacked ONCE?

Izuku: Nope! And if you don't believe me you can just ask my dad about it. He's there all the time.

On that day, Aizawa had a very bad feeling but in order to preserve what was left of his sanity, he decided not to investigate.

#Listen I have two headcanons when it comes to Izuku's neighborhood #Either AFO... I mean Hisashi is at home and there is NO villain in a ten kilometers radius. (Supervillains don't count.) #Or Hisashi is working abroad and the neighborhood is just filled with the villains. Everywhere. But it's a completely crime free zone. #Because they don't want the heroes snooping around. It also means that Izuku is unable to recognize danger when it's staring him in the fac #e because it just feels familiar to him. #bnha asks

[mrstsung]

I have to break it to you.

But shang tsung loves you.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

He loves you honey. And i ship him with you too. (Despite me not really wanting to share shang tsung as a blorbo and f/o. I still will respect those that also self ship with him and show positivity to self shipping. And i stand by that yes,he loves you because i said so)

It's already too late. He has your soul....and heart.... >:3c

(My edits below)

Srry if there's a lot of old man shang from mk legends. I reeeeeeeaaaaallly love that design of him

Some positivity post for y'all

#self ship positivity #mortal kombat #self ship #self shipping #shang tsung #💚heart and soul🐍 #shang tsung mortal kombat #mk f/o #antagonist f/o #villain f/o #villain/antagonist f/o #shang tsung x reader #shang tsung x you #my shang tsung edits #shang tsung appreciation post #shang tsung positivity zone #we stan one foxy sorcerer

[villainartist]

😇 BE NOT AFRAID!✨

this has been a wip for MONTHS... but i cant stay away from the despair sisters for too long

(reblog >>>>> only liking!!!!)

#danganronpa #dangan ronpa #danganronpa fanart #junko enoshima #mukuro ikusaba #despair sisters #danganronpa: trigger happy havoc #kyoko kirigiri #villainous art #mine #makoto naegi #byakuya togami #kaede akamatsu #tsumugi shirogane #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #this should go without saying but if you tag/see this as ship ill fucking skin you alive #full disclosure: the background is studiopolis zone from sonic mania #i put it there as temporary but it just... it looked WAY too good with the sisters so i just went with it #guys i didnt include that reblog vs likes things to be an ass im just tryin to educate twt users #that migrated to here ❤️ #also a damn reminder for tumblr locals to get the hint

[arttrampbelle]

Shang tsung x reader hcs

Reader is gn

*note: this isn't mk12 shang. Never will be. So.....sorry bout your poor taste in shang tsung iterations. Imagine any other version of shang. Thank you.*

Cw:mentions of nsfw(nothing heavy),fluff,mentions of a s/o who self harms and has mental illness/depression.

🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍

Shang Tsung with a s/o that is.....

Shang tsung with a kind,sweet,gentle s/o. One that is shy,maybe a bit more of the demure side. Or even just a person who isn't an assertive type. Either way a s/o that is more softer and sweeter. A sweet gentle soul. Shang tsung would absolutely love you. It's a breath of fresh air to him. To come home to a gentle energy. Someone he can look to and see innocence in this cold and unforgiving world that is MORTAL KOMBAT. to him,you are his sanctuary. To him you are the closest to heaven he will ever get. And he is so so grateful for that.

Shang tsung with a more spunky,energetic and lively s/o. One who is active and maybe bounce off the walls goofy. Just a jovial little imp you are! One who shitposts memes at 3am and major crackhead energy. (I love you people fr) you are an absolute delight. You Make him laugh till his sides hurt. He's never felt like this in decades,centuries even. Never have you made him feel so alive,so youthful,and full of surprises. He loves your energy. He feels while your behavior can be annoying af at times. He appreciates your sincerity and despite the darkness around you you still find humor and life in everything. He has major respect for that. (You n johnny cage maaaaay get along. But hey i hc shang's cool with johnny,but like a silly puppy and moody dad kinda friendship. They could kill each other but they'd rather talk about kung fu cinema) you are absolutely precious to him.

Shang with a more aggressive,assertive,and angy(?) S/o. Maybe someone prone to easily be angered. Or even someone willing to throw hands and give out a can of whoop ass. Oh thank the elder gods he doesn't have to defend you! Not that he minds,he does love the praise he gets for that. But he feels relieved that you can handle yourself. Not to mention,its kinda hot to him when you get angry. Not at him of course....then again....the thought has crossed his mind....anyways. shang tsung loooooves sparring with you! Unf it's his bread n butter. He feels so alive with every kick and punch you throw. He always is sad when you are done tho. He always craves more. But both of you im sure are busy. But he loves you just the same.

Shang tsung with a s/o that is moody,sad,battles with depression,maybe self harm? He would be extra careful with his beloved. He would check in on you regularly. Pay extra special attention to your needs and make sure you take any medication you need to take. He would teach you techniques to help ease your inner demons. As he understands that struggle. He absolutely knows what to say,what to do,and how to help you. And if he can't help you. He will find someone who can. He will always be there to comfort you and give you advice when you need him to. He may be a dark sorcerer,but he is ruthless. NEVER HEARTLESS. especially with you. He loves you. And doesn't want to lose you. He cherishes you so so much. So whatever battles you face. He will be at your side,to crush any foe or neurosis that stand in your way to glory!

Shang tsung with a s/o that loves to cook. Omfg have his hand in marriage already! You make such amazing foods. Even if its simple. Even if it's just the most basic ass shit. The love you put into it. The fact that you even bothered to give him foods he loves! Unf. This man is over the moon! He absolutely loves you cooking for him. Better if its homemade,and a personal recipe. He absolutely loves you. He may even help you cook. Bonding time.

Shang tsung with a s/o who is chubby,thicc,and got some rolls on them.(this is gn but this is especially for fem persenting peeps. I see you. I got you!) Oh my god he would adore you. He loves your voluptuous curves. He loves how you always seem to look so flawless in everything. And even if you dont feel that way. He still loves you. Because he fell for your soul....not your body honey. Tho...he'd be foolish not to admit. He loves hanging onto every inch of you. Dragging his claws from his gauntlets across your skin. And the loveable little squees you make in response. Hee hee. What can i say my mans a glutton for a teasing. >:3c. But shang would absolutely adore you. Softness and sweetness. Perfect.

Shang tsung with a s/o that kinda is awkward with themselves. Not hating themselves,just awkward. He would totally gas you up! Especially if you get flustered and blush. Fave pastime is making you blush.

Shang tsung doesn't care about where you come from. Ethnicity,nationality,realm. He loves it all. He doesn't care. The man is 500yrs old. Do you think he gives a rat's ass?! Hell no. He would absolutely love to learn about you. He loves to learn. Knowledge is power. And what better way than to gain it by your side. He's stubborn but not to the point of reluctance to learn fron others. Sometimes he knows but not the extent. Sometimes he'll be surprised. Either way. He loves you. (Idgaf why would shang care about your ethnicity? Like there's so many different people in mk rosters anyways. So any x readers from any character that had this was dumb to me,and childish. Black,white,asian,American,European,lizard,shokan,dragon,rabbit person,mortal,immortal,doesn't fucking matter. If shang tsung likes you and wants to peruse you. He fucking will. And nothing will stop him if he genuinely loves you,unless you give him a reason not to. Which you wont. Also if shang genuinely loves you he will show it differently than if he's trying to gain something from you and get you riled up or if its not genuine. Biiiig difference but that's for another post)

Shang would love you in your best and worst of times. During the lows and the highs. He's in it for the long haul. He doesn't play when it comes to the matters of the heart. He's all in or nothing. He wouldn't bother perusing you if he didn't think you two would be in a long established relationship. Marriage or not. He is loyal to his beloved. Only to his beloved. He's a snek to others. Not to you. He'd burn all the realms to see you safe and happy and loved. He'll die for you,he'd kill for you. Either way what bliss? He's absolutely over the moon for you.

Shang tsung is basically a martial arts master asian gomez in love. Whatever and however you are. He will absolutely love you. Cherish you. Treasure you. Every moment. Period. I don't make the rules. He loves you sorry. And you are his,heart AND soul. uwu.

Hope y'all appreciate this. I wanted to make this to say basically tldr. Shang tsung loves you no matter what. And idc what people say.

💖💅🏻💋🔥🐍🐉🏝

#mortal kombat #shang tsung #self shipping #shang tsung x reader #shang tsung mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #villain/antagonist f/o #villain f/o #shang tsung loves you no matter what personality you have no matter what you look like he fucking loves you ok?! #like if anyone says otherwise i will personally throat punch them! shang tsung loves you!!!! #my mans is top notch husband material and that's on that fight me! #the only thing that you gotta deal with is he's a villain and he's a dark sorcerer and you're in mortal kombat so yeah danger zone #but if you can handle that you gucci honey 💅🏻💖 #shang fucking loves you #mk x reader #mk shang tsung

[prinzgnomeovonchaos]

No but like the old palace master really is such a shit cultivator and sect leader looking from the outside in??

Like most obviously he STILL hasn't ascended, which means he just isn't that good at cultivating compared to like the peak lords who seem to ascend en masse pretty regularly. (Unrelated, what does that look like up in the heavens? The peaks are swarming again!! lol)

Then there is also the thing where he looks like a really shit teacher? Like in all his time as sect leader he had one (1) promising student in sxy, who died presumably (again looking from the outside in, pretend you don't know the plot) because her teacher recklessly had her meet up with a heavenly demon hell bent on destroying humanity.

After that there is gyx, but that's it. Two talented students in how many years? Like honestly it seems like they succeeded despite opm and not because of him.

Hell, his own daughter is the farthest from the graceful, wise immortal image you could get!

OPM is a disgrace to the cultivation world, it's true and I should say it!

#scum villain #svsss #old palace master #this is a opm hate zone #i want that pos disgraced and gone

[cookie-nom-nom]

Kenshall, ominously: heh I think it’s time you join the family…

Emerich: wait we’re marrying him too??

Montrose: ahm I think we need to have ourselves a little confab *group huddle*

Kenshall, just trying to betray them: -_-

Montrose: ah the ballots have been tallied up and you are not joining the polycule. Perhaps run for election next year, I think you have a good shot.

Emerich: but he said we’re joining the family? Wait, are we being adopted?

Beef: no it’s the other way around. Son, we’re very concerned about how much you’re open to murder. Is there something wrong? Are you having problems at school?

Kenshall: hey how about you all get in this not suspicious flying craft…

#It was at that moment Kenshall decided dropping them into an apocalyptic wasteland was the only solution #Taz #the adventure zone #taz steeplechase #steeplechase #montrose pretty #emerich dreadway #beef punchley #emberose #kenshall denton #Babygirling the villain in universe is the funniest possible move #something to nom on

[bingusbongu]

Imagine being in Blackhats office, sitting besides him as he does his paperwork, an occasional hiss leaving his throat as he grumbles to himself

Imagine having to listen to the demon rant about how stupid the rest of the crew was, or how annoying a certain Herp was being, or listening to him tell you im detail how he is going to deal with a certain person

Imagine noticing how Frustrated Blackhat was becoming, how his face seemed to grow darker and more growls left his vocal cords, so before he gets to upset, you make a move

Imagine leaning over while he is talking, and gently slipping your hands under his chin and lightly scratching it

Imagine watching how he immediately shuts up, his body freezing as you rub your fingers delicately under his rough skin of his chin

Imagine instead of him lashing out at you for touching him, he unnoticeably leans into your hand as you scritch his chin. A hiss of contentment leaving his teeth as a deep purr rumbles through his throat.

Imagine him realizing it, and threatening you if you were to tell someone, which made you real your hand back

Imagine him snapping at you for stopping, grabbing your hand and bringing it back under his chin to scratch him like a big pissy attention seeking kitty

#Blackhat x reader #black hat #x reader #villainous x reader #black hat x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #imagines #tooth rotting fluff #villainous zone #bingoblabbles

[kiwipineappleparasol]

It sure would be Wacky if it turned out These were My favorite Ace Attorney characters. That would just be Crazy. Anyways! More Outdated Scribbles

Don't Ask me what the top Image is supposed To Be. I Don't Know Either (or do I?)

Also I Learned how to add the Read More . so I put some Ages Old Gifs of Some More Silly Things I Will Never Finish down there . so they Don't All Play At Once:

#ace attorney #athena cykes #simon blackquill #bobby fulbright #apollo justice #trucy wright #aura blackquill #dual destinies #aa5 #some alt outfits for fun #and some outfit tweaks so i can disassociate my version of events from canon because canon doesn't know what it's talking about #dual destinies and i have a love hate relationship. as in i love the characters and hate how dirty it did them #i know i accidentally flipped the top image before putting my name all over it . i am too lazy to fix it . i hope heaven forgives me #i lied about not knowing what it is by the way . but the internet will never know .... (<- thinks they're an evil villain) #The Kiwi Scribbling Zone

[noodyl-blasstal]

number 9 or 19 for the prompt list for taakitz if you're feeling inspired? :)

Thank you so much for this prompt which is from this list (I’m still open to requests.) Sorry the reply itself is un-prompt (I spiralled), but hopefully you'll forgive me!

Read below or on Ao3.

--

Man, that’s going to stain…How’s it going?/ Well, haha, (doesn’t answer)

–

Kavitz screws all his courage to his sticking point and opens his eyes. He looks at the cake. He looks at his hands. He looks at the kitchen counter. They’re all still the same; bright red, unpleasantly sticky, and mocking him. The ‘icing’ could have at least had the decency to dry slightly in the air by now, but no, he’s made some kind of sugar based slime that is intent on eating everything - especially Taako’s worktops. 

Taako’s worktops… Taako definitely absolutely loves these worktops more than Kravitz. Kravitz knows this, everyone knows this, so why on earth had he decided to try his hand at baking at Taako’s house instead of his own? Maybe it was because he spent more of his non-death crime battling time here than anywhere else, he hadn’t spent a non-work night on the Astral Plane since well… hmm… and all his stuff was here, so it made sense, perfect sense. Or it would, if he hadn’t just committed a crime against baking, nature, and kitchens in general, there was no way Taako wasn’t going to notice.

He’s stuck, is the problem. He can’t operate his phone with his sugary murder hands even though it will absolutely be worth Sloane laughing at him if she can save him from this. Sadly it’s not like he can just go over there… although, no, actually, it’s exactly like he can just go over there! Kravitz reaches out his hand, and only winces slightly at the wet sound his scythe makes as it zoops into it. It’s fine. It’ll clean, and if not he can just tell people it’s blood and they’ll think he’s extra fearsome probably definitely maybe.

He cuts a very careful rift, if he can place it just right then… Kravitz leans his face gingerly into the rift and uses his nose to press the doorbell. He learned very quickly after Sloane and Hurley started dating that it was important to rift outside and wait for someone to answer the door. Sloane tugs said door open as he’s reaching his nose out to press the bell for a second time.

“Kravitz? What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?” She folds her arms and gives him a look which means he’s definitely never going to hear the end of this.

“I need some help.”

Sloane raises her eyebrows.

“It’s a cake problem.”

“You didn’t!?”

“I…”

“Kravitz! After last time? And the time before… and…”

“I thought it might be different.”

“Because?”

“Taako’s good at baking.”

“And you figured cake osmosis was a thing?” Sloane’s lack of sympathy would be hurtful if she wasn’t entirely correct.

“On reflection, it wasn’t the best idea I’ve had in my life.” An understatement, but he doesn’t have time to properly catalogue this error right now. It can haunt him when he’s lying awake at 3am for the rest of his life instead.

“How bad is it?”

“It’s not sentient.” He’s remaining optimistic.

“Yet…” She mutters.

“I gave it a bit and it seems fine.”

“Uh huh.”

“I know that’s what I said last time, but I really think it’s okay.”

“If I had a gold piece for every time…” Sloane begins.

“Please just help.” Kravitz must sound pathetic enough because Sloane just rolls her eyes, and smiles fondly.

“Okay, are you coming to me or am I coming to you?”

Kravitz holds up his non-scythed hand.

“I’m coming to you,okay. Gimme a minute and a me-sized rift?”

“Thank you.” Kravitz nods and splices.

–

There’s a shuffling noise and Sloane opens the door again.

“Why do you even have a hazmat suit?” Kravitz tries not to feel offended, he doesn’t succeed.

“It’s not a hazmat, that would be overkill, it’s a tyvek.”

“And you have it because?”

“Do you wanna know?” The distinct edge to her question tells him he definitely doesn’t.

“Is it for work?”

“Yes.”

“The flower shop job?”

“Nope, and you said you don’t wanna know anything that you could be compelled to give up in a court of law so…”

“So I won’t ask any further questions and should instead be grateful that you’re coming to help save me and Taako’s worktops?”

“You got it on Taako’s worktops? Kravitz! I’m going to miss you.”

“I don’t know if he can kill me.”

“Here lies Kravitz…” Says Sloane as she steps through the rift. “... The bestest friend a gal could ask for. I’ll miss his ability to transport me without paying bus fare most of all.”

“Thanks Sloane, you always know how to make me feel better.” Kravitz says dryly.

“So you sure fucked this up, yeah?” Sloane looks around at the general devastation.

“The cake might be nice?” Kravitz points with a sticky hand.

“Mmhmm.” Says Sloane like she wants to believe him but can’t.

“But… it’s just… yeah…” He trails off.

“Have you tried anything yet?” 

“Er…”

“Water?”

“I can’t touch the tap.” Kravitz brandishes his free-hand. Tries for a second time to banish his scythe, fails. Maybe he doesn’t need to mention that specific issue to Sloane yet. “It’s really sticky.”

“Right. I’ll try water first. Do you have sponges you don’t care about?”

“As opposed to the sponges I do care about?”

“Hey, Kravitz, do you remember who you live with? The man who cares about nothing more than his kitchen and nearly broke up with you when you scrubbed the cast iron? You think he doesn’t have opinions about your sponges?”

She has a point. “There’s some in the garage.” He starts to move towards the door.

“No!” Sloane grabs the back of his suit and pulls. “You stay here, we need to keep the crime scene secured. By which I mean you specifically. Don’t move.

It’s a good point. Kravitz is going to stay so still. “I can’t quite remember where they…”

Sloane’s gone before he can finish and back too quickly for him to think about in depth. There’s definitely no reason for that which relates to her ability to case a joint.

“I’m going to try cold water first in case hot water makes it harden… or, you know, go on fire.” 

“That was one time!” 

“One time too many, Kravitz. One time too many.”

He opens his mouth and shuts it firmly again. The ‘gift to science’ defence doesn’t really work when he still doesn’t know how he did it.

Sloane dabs gingerly at the very edge of the worktop spatter. They both lean away in anticipation. Nothing happens. “No explosions is a good start.” She  says cheerfully, as she walks back to the sink. “I’ll test hot now.” She repeats the leaning, runs the hot tap directly onto the red spot on the sponge.

“Is it helping?”

“Nope.”

“Soap?”

She tries. “Nope.”

“How hard do you think it is to replace an entire kitchen and also me in… er…” Kravitz glances at the clock. “2 hours?”

“If anyone can do it’s Magnus. Well… maybe not you. You could ring your Mum?”

“She’s not my Mum.”

“Then why did I have to get my parents to call her before I was allowed to come play and why did I have to call her Mrs The Raven Queen when I came to visit?”

“That’s manners.”

“So anyway, call your Mum.”

“I’m not calling my Mum… I mean. Fuck. Sloane! Stop laughing! Can you help me ring Magnus?”

“Why can’t you…” Kravitz brandishes his hand again. “Ah. Fine. Where’s your phone?”

Kravitz swings a hip towards her.

“Nope.”

“Sloane!”

She rolls her eyes. Hard. “It’s a good job I love you, you know that?”

“Like I haven’t earned this.”

“Hey, I’ve never…”

“Don’t make me bring up The Plantcident.” Kravitz side eyes her as she reaches for his phone.

“Urgh, you’ll never let me forget that, will you? I maintain it could have happened to anyone.”

“But instead it happened to you and I had to talk the bank manager down so he didn’t press charges.”

“It’s a good thing you’re so clean cut and know all the fancy words. Now, sssh... “Sloane holds his phone up to his ear.” … it’s ringing.” 

“Wait, how did you know my code?”

Sloane doesn’t answer, she just smiles unnervingly instead. Kravitz worries sometimes about how much and how little he knows her all at once.

Magnus picks up before Kravitz can ask any more ill-advised questions (because he definitely doesn’t want to know the answers to them.)

“Hello Magnus, I just had a quick…. Yes? Oh… yes… No of course I think he’s a very clever boy… No, it’s okay, you don’t have to put me on to hi… Hello Johann. Magnus says you did a very good job today. Well done… Magnus? … Magnus?... Johann, can you get Magnus?... …. … MAGNUS?” Sloane winces. Kravitz mouths a quick sorry her way. “Great! Magnus, I… No, don’t hang up, I rang because I had a question, you know the kitchen worktops? … Mmmhm, yeah, they’re incredible, how long did they take you to make?... Oh? A week? Wow… And that was quick?” Kravitz widens his eyes at Sloane, her face doesn’t give anything away. “... and if it was a rush order? Oh… it was? Wow. Yeah. Lots of intricate bits…. Mmm… yes, you’re right, it is a funny shape in here. Good point… okay, so if someone had say, for example, stained them, how would one go about getting that stain out?... No it’s not a sex thing!... Magnus!... Do you really want to know the answer to that?... I didn’t think so… Look, it’s a hypothetical question which I  need the answer to please?... Yes, haha, you’re right it is a good thing it’s hypothetical, Taako would be really upset yes, but if you could just tell me… you know, for the thought exercise, yes, right… It would depend on the stain? So if something was sticky and had food dye?... Magnus please, you have to focus… Okay… Yep… Water… nail polish remover… baking powder and vinegar… toothpaste… yes we’ll try that… yes of course hypothetically… no, please don’t tell him… Because nothing has happened. Everything’s fine. Sloane can tell you.” 

Kravitz gives Sloane a pleading look and she retracts the phone to speak to Magnus herself. “Hey Magnus, yep, all fine here… Ha, yeah, just playing a fun hypothetical game, you know how we do that… give my love to Julia and Johann... Yeah, thanks from both of us… Bye!”

“So water didn’t work, but we can try the nail polish remover and the toothpaste, and I’m fairly sure Taako has the baking powder and vinegar.

“Be right back.” Sloane’s gone before Kravitz can tell her where anything is.

He tries to un-summon his scythe again while he waits. Nothing happens. He tries again, double hard, it tries to leave, there’s a second where it might, but no. Stuck fast. The door creaks open slowly before he can try a third time.

“I didn’t even know it was possible to get magic stuck to you.” He sighs.

Sloane doesn’t reply.

“Sloane?”

There’s a skittering noise. No. Oh fuck no.

“SLOANE!” Kravitz yells, hoping she’ll hear him before whichever one of them it is can get themselves stuck too.

“Pss pss pss pss pss.” He keeps his arms well out of reach, and moves slowly towards the door.

It’s Tiny Taco, of course it’s Tiny Taco. 

“Hello there, why don’t you go back out into the hall? You can play with your toys and your friends. It’ll be so nice out there in the rest of the house, in literally any room but this room.” 

Tiny Taco struts confidently forward and rubs his head fondly against Kravitz’s legs. This is the most affection he has ever shown him. Kravitz fights the impulse to lean into it, it’s all part of the ploy. Maybe if he slowly shuffles towards the door?

“You yelled?” Sloane asks from the doorway?

Kravitz turns to look at her. It’s all the distraction Tiny Taco needs and he makes a break for it.

“No no no no no no no!” Kravitz tries to block him with his body, Taco dodges. “Sloane can you…?”

She tries, she does. She moves fast. It’s not fast enough.

Kravitz reaches out and grabs him.

“Kravitz!” Sloane thwacks her palm against her head. “You had one job and it was standing still.”

Taco’s already squirming in his hand, this is going to get ugly fast.

“Shout at me later. Help, please?”

Sloane sighs unnecessarily loudly. “I’m taking a photo.”

“What? Sloane, no.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

Kravitz knows better than to try and bargain with her. “Fine.”

“Smile!” 

Kravitz is not going to smile.

“Smile or I’m not helping.”

Kravitz smiles.

“Okay, what goes best with cat? Toothpaste?”

Taco wriggles again and digs his claws sharply into Kravitz’s arm.

“Ouch! Anything, just try.”

Sloane shrugs and brandishes the Aquafresh. “Brace yourself.”

It works, eventually. Kravitz has fresh scratches, but Taco has been pasted (and slightly snipped) clean and returned to the ‘anywhere but the kitchen’ exclusionary zone with enough Dreamies to buy his silence.

“One down. Shall we try it on the worktop or your hands first?” 

“The worktop’s more important.”

“Oh wait, your phone’s going.”

“Who is it?”

Sloane checks. “Taako. There’s a few missed calls too.”

Kravitz smiles as endearingly as he can manage. Surely Sloane wouldn’t stand in the way of speaking to his boyfriend, not after how much he helped when she was worried about telling Hurley. “Would you mind?”

“Fine.” Sloane holds the phone to his ear.

“Hello Taako! It’s so nice to hear from you, love, how’s your day going? … mmhm… incredible… I hope you told him off… Maybe not the words I would have used, but as you say, it’s your school… Another award? Congratulations! Very much deserved as far as I’m concerned… How am I? Oh you know, fine… My day? Nothing much, just missing you… You can’t fireball me through a phone dearest… No, actually I don’t think you should try, if anyone can it’s you..” 

Sloane prods him hard and makes a ‘wind it up’ gesture.

“Ow… I mean… How is your afternoon looking?... Wonderful… Anyway, I should let you go. I know you’re busy… No no, honestly… I’ll see you later, I know you have so much on… Love you… Goodbye, Taako!”

“Gross.” Says Sloane loudly.

“Shut  up, you love your girlfriend.” She doesn’t have a leg to stand on as far as Kravitz is concerned.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong… I was actually thinking of… Wait, now’s super not the time. Let’s try and fix… you know, all of this?” Sloane gestures to the whole of everything.

Kravitz nods.

The layer of toothpaste doesn’t have the same effect on the counter as it did on Taco.

“Nail polish remover?” Sloane asks.

“Yes, whatever you think.” Kravitz eyes the clock warily.

It doesn’t work either, although it does remove the toothpaste effectively.

“Vinegar explosion?” Sloane sounds more excited than he’d like her to about this option.

“Did Magnus say how much to use?”

“Nope!” She says, happily, shaking powder across the worktop.

“Maybe you should start with a test patch?”

“Uh huh.” Sloane looks him dead in the eyes as she pours vinegar over it all.

The fizzing is far more dramatic than it would be on a small scale, he’ll give her that. Especially when it turns red.

It’s unfortunate that it’s still going when they hear the door open.

“Home, I’m honey!” Taako shouts from the entrance hall.

“Hi Honey, I’m Kravitz.” Yells Kravitz, automatically.

Sloane stops watching the fizzening long enough to pretend to puke. Kravitz glares at her. He can be gross in his own home. Taako’s own home. He doesn’t live here. Obviously.

“Where are you, Kraveroo? … Oh, hey there hi hello, Taco, most precious baby angel, how’re you doing this fine d… KRAVITZ!” 

“Fuck.” Say Kravitz and Sloane in tandem. 

“I can’t believe he told, we gave him so many treats!” Sloane shakes her head.

“He hates me.” Says Kravitz, mournfully. “We should never have trusted him.” 

“Kravitz? Where are you and why have you given the cat a shit haircut?” Taako’s voice is hovering somewhere between pissed off and amused and Kravitz would love to be able to tip it over into the latter category. He can’t deal with being in any more trouble right now.

He widens his eyes at Sloane, sadly she’s doing the same right back.

“I feel like we’ve gotta let it fizz? That’s what’s doing the cleaning, right?” Sloane hisses.

“Yes. That sounds logical, but how do I?” Kravitz holds his free hand up.

“You could poke your head out through the door?” 

“What?”

“He can’t see your hands if you’re just a head at the kitchen door.”

“Of course, thanks Sloane.” Kravitz makes it all the way to the door before realising his error. “Er…”

Sloane sighs heavily and dashes over to crack the door open before retreating to the counter.

“Hello my love.” Kravitz shouts, head poking into the hall and foot firmly wedged to stop the door opening any further.

Taako careens round the corner. “Why’re you in the kitchen?” His eyes narrow dangerously.

“I’m just doing something. A surprise.” 

Taako doesn’t look any less suspicious. “What’s that smell?”

“Surprise smell.” Kravitz smiles his most reassuring smile.

Apparently it’s less reassuring than he thinks because Taako disappears, and, if the “what the fuck?” From behind him is anything to go by, blinks into the kitchen.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Sloane’s hands are in the air and her head’s swivelling frantically, looking for escape.

“Cha’boy hasn’t a clue what it looks like… what the actual fuck is going on in here?”

“There may have been a slight incident.” Kravitz decides that there’s not many routes other than honesty left at this point.

“Slight?” Taako raises a single, reproachful eyebrow.

“It’s not all of the things. Just some of them.” Kravitz tries not to sound sulky, he does.

“Why’re you holding your scythe?”

“Uh…”

“Why’re you red?”

“Er…”

“Did you try to bake?”

“No.” Kravitz replies before he can remember his plan to the tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. “I mean, yes. I did bake! The baking wasn’t the bit that went wrong. Look!” Kravitz points triumphantly at the cake.

Taako’s eyes soften for the barest moment. “It’s heart shaped.”

“It’s for you!” 

“And the red stuff?”

“I had to ice it.” 

“With?”

“Icing.”

“That you made from…?”

“I’m not actually entirely sure I remember.”

“Okay. Well first things first, Krav, Kraverino, beloved… you’re a skeleton. You, my guy, are made of bones. Meat you isn’t real.”

“Meat you isn’t real!” Sloane repeats. “I forgot.”

“Oh.” Kravitz unravels himself immediately and feels his scythe release into the ether, thank goodness. Not that he didn’t love it, but it’s a pain in the arse to lug around all the time, plus the drama of the reveal is always fun. “Thank you Taako.”

“Is this why you chopped Taco?” 

“There was an incident.” Says Sloane. “But I toothpasted him out.”

“And he only bit me twice!” Kravitz adds.

“See, cha’boy said you he was coming round to you!” Taako sounds genuinely delighted. To be fair, it is an improvement.

“So that’s one down.” Sloane says. “Just… this to go.”

“Have you tried, you know, magic?”

“Er…” There’s a long pause. A very long pause.

“I rifted to Sloane.”

Taako pinches his fingers at the bridge of his nose. “So just to clarify, neither of you, including you, handsome man, literally made of magic. tried any kind of mending, purifying,…” he lowers his hand to glance at the mess again. “... banishing?”

“Well…” Sloane starts, as if there’s any way to get them out of this.

“We rang Magnus!” Says Kravitz quickly. He can’t leave it all to Sloane.

“Ah, well if you rang Magnus, notoriously magical Magnus! Of course he would have thought to suggest all of the best wizardly crafts, he’s always casting spells, punch, chop, harder punch, Magical Magnus, we all call him.”

“Can you get rid of it?I think the fizzing has stopped now.” Sloane points at the still definitely-more-red-than-it-should-be counter.

“Can Taako get rid of it? This lowly idiot wizard? I suppose I can maybe see my way to trying, but what good could cha’boy possibly do against something so fearsome as icing?” Taako waves his hands dramatically. 

The red gets redder.

“Did… have you just made it stronger?” Sloane asks in disbelief.

“I meant to do that. It was just a warm up. Natch.” Taako’s voice doesn’t waver.

Kravitz tries very hard not to feel too smug. 

“Abraca-fuck-off!”

A small chunk disappears, but the rest remains just as vibrant.

“Fuck. That was high level too. Uh. Cha’boy’s out of ideas, have you called your Bird Mom, Krav?”

“She’s not my Mu…” 

Taako gives him a hard look. “Because, cha’boy’s just saying, these worktops, they’re good worktops, and it’d be a real shame if anything were to irreversibly stain them.”

“Taako, I can’t contact the god who oversees the natural order of life and death and ask her to take some time out to come fix… this.”

Taako raises an eyebrow.

Sloane gives him a look.

Kravitz snatches his phone back from her with his now blissfully un-gunked bone hands. “Fine, but I’m not communing, I’m texting.”

“She always rings you straight back anyway.” Taako says.

“Classic Mum behaviour.” Sloane adds.

Kravitz needs to spend less time with both of them, he refuses to be bullied like this.

His phone rings. “Hello M…y queen.” Kravitz glares at them both as they snicker. “We’re experiencing some issues with an, er, substance… No, not like that… No, we wouldn’t take anything that’s bad for us or the people around us… Thank you… Do you think there’s anything you can… yes. Yes, I know… I promise, this is the last time… I thought that maybe I’d be better… not just proximity… yes, okay, yes. Proximity… Thank you… I promise I won’t… I know I did, but this time I really mean it… Thank you very much… I love-you-too-bye.”

“What did your Mum say?” They chorus wearing their most pointed smiles.

“She’s going to have a look at it.” All of the fight has gone out of him. Kravitz has accepted his fate.

The counter shakes violently. Nothing happens.

It shakes again.

Nothing.

Kravitz’s phone rings.

He doesn’t want to answer. Less than anything does he want to answer, but he cannot ignore direct summons.

“Hello… yes… No… I can’t remember… I’m sorry… I don’t think… Okay. Yes. I’ll ask him…” Kravitz turns to Taako. “How attached are you to your kitchen?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Very.”

“How would you feel if the counters had to be banished into a secure dimension?”

Taako’s mouth forms into a tight line.

“It may also not really be a question of whether you’re happy for it to happen or not because Raven checked with Istus and there’s a strand of fate which needs to be snipped right now…”

“So what you’re saying is that cha’boy’s losing a chunk of the kitchen he spent what feels like a century planning? That his best friend in the world hand crafted for him?” Taako presses his hand to his forehead and pretends to faint.

Kravitz opens his mouth and shuts it again. Guilt gnaws at him. He wants more than anything to fix this, but he doesn’t know how.

“Shall I tell Magnus you said he was your best friend?” Sloane asks.

“Take the counter.” Taako replies immediately.

“Taako, I’m so sorry.”

Taako smiles and waves his hand. “Honestly, Taako was bored of them.”

“But…”

“Magnus hasn’t really been challenged lately. I think he needs this. We’ll do it as a favour to him.”

“Are you…?” 

“Honestly, Taako made the kitchen with himself in mind, but it’s not just cha’boy living here anymore, is it?” Taako waves his hand flippantly.

Kravitz pauses. “I… Taako.”

“Tell her to do it now.”

His tone leaves absolutely no room for disagreement, Kravitz gives the answer.

There’s a brief moment of nothing, enough time for Kravitz to chance a tentative look at Taako. He meets Kravitz’s eyes confidently, doesn’t even flinch as reality twists around them and there’s a gentle pop. Kravitz doesn’t need to check to know the counter is gone. 

Taako smiles at him.

“I’m gonna head out. Kravitz could you…?” Sloane asks.

He cuts the rift without looking at her. “Thank you for helping.”

It seals behind her.

“I’m sorry.” Kravitz says again, because he is.

“You made me a cake.” Taako says again.

“Yes.” Kravitz replies, because he did. Regardless of everything else, he did.

“Because you wanted to fuck my kitchen up?”

“No! I, look, you made the me the pastries.”

“The date ones?”

“Yes. The ones from home. You spent weeks working at it and you didn’t even have a recipe, just me trying to explain a taste I can barely remember.”

“And cha’boy nailed it.” Taako grins smugly and Kravitz loves him in all his brash confidence.

“You did. You really did.”

“So you decided I needed cake too?”

“No one ever bakes for you.” Kravitz says quietly.

“Ango did that one time.” 

“Yes, that’s true. But it’s been ages and they got set on fire, and no one else does. You deserve it. You deserve to be taken care of right back.”

“Hey, Krav. Quick question, just a teensy smidgey one. Who got the shoe organiser after cha’boy kept falling over them?”

Kravitz tilts his head, uncertain what this has to do with anything.

“Go on, don’t get shy on me, who did that?”

“Me.” Says Kravitz. He’d been sick of worrying that Taako was going to fall over and get lost in a shoe pile and need help when he wasn’t there to give it.

“And who actually puts the shoes on the shoe organiser when cha’boy forgets?”

“Me?” It’s not like he does it all the time, just now and again.

“And who got the cats those extra perches to go round the walls because I was worried they were bored?” Taako doesn’t wait for an answer. “Oh, yeah, that was you too.”

“But…”

“Bones, you care for Taako in so many different ways, so leave the baking to the professionals because so help me fantasy Jesus if you wreck any more of our house.” 

“Our house?”

“Yeah. Now shut up and tell me what your perfect kitchen looks like so I can fix it.”

#Sloane and Kravitz are friends and I refuse to hear any different #Sloane #Kravitz #Taakitz #Taako #Background Magnus because nothing brings me more joy than one sided phone conversations with him #Can you guess which line made me laugh so hard I choked on my drink? #This went off piste and I had a great time #The adventure zone #TAZ #Taz balance #Tiny Taco is my favourite villain

[heloflor]

Was thinking a bit about how “The Devil’s Playhouse” has a lot more comedy than people make it out to be, and while especially thinking about “The Penal Zone” I realized this episode is actually very very very very gay. Like, I’m pretty sure it’s the Telltale episode with the highest amount of gay moments (205 is second on this list, what with Sam getting catcalled by a moleman, Max flirting with Mr. Reaperphone, the whole bachelor party, Peppers etc).

I think what I really like about those moments is that it’s a great example of normalization. The characters are incredibly casual about it, talking about gay relationships the exact same way one would talk about straight relationships, it’s really neat to see! Especially considering that this game was made in 2010, a whooping 5 years before gay marriage was legal in the whole US. It's crazy and great how much they were able to get away with!

(Screenshots of all these moments with timestamps (and quotes) under the cut. To have as little pics as possible, only a small section of each dialogue is taken. And to have a limit of two screenshots per pic max, some dialogues that are cut in two parts in-game have the second part pasted under the first. The timestamps puts you at the beginning of each conversation. All footage from NapalmX717 with the screenshots in chronological order of this video)

Max: “What can I say, Sam? Alien ships love to abduct me. It’s not my fault I look so probe-able.” (9:44)

Sam: “Nice work, little buddy! Make sure you wait three days to call, or he’ll thing you’re desperate.” (11:47)

Max: “Well, he IS pretty charismatic, Sam. And he’s from space, which is a plus. But you’re the only hairy, overweight, domineering control freak I need, Sam.” (20:38)

Sam: “I don’t need to go to another planet for a methane rich environment, as long as I’ve got you, pal.”

Max: “That’s really sweet and obvious, Sam.” (22:46)

Skun-ka’pe: “Perfect! Just the one I wanted to see ha ha ha ha!”

Sam: “Keep the hands where we can see ‘em, pal.” (23:36)

Max: “We could just give ourselves tongue-baths, like cats and flight attendants do!” (30:57)

Sam: “Why do we have jumper cables? Neither of us knows how to use them.”

Max: “It’s simple, Sam: the RED cable goes on the RIGHT nipple, the BLACK cable clamps to the…” (34:42)

Max: “Oh boy! Now I can finally set up my 24-hours adults-only naked bunny chat line.” (34:58)

Sam: “Toys...Toys… we must prepare… the toys….”

Max: “Well, that’s just a typical Friday night for YOU, Sam.” (36:45)

Flint Paper: “Oh. Well yeah, that could be it. I was thinking it was you, Sam!”

Max: “You think you know a guy. I’m not angry, Sam, just very disappointed.” (1:03:49)

(For context they’re talking about who might be Girl Stinky’s secret admirer)

Max: “I can’t lie to Flint Paper, Sam!” (1:05:20)

Max: “What kind of pretend mother would I be if I didn’t worry about our imaginary baby?” (1:10:31)

Momma Bosco: “Oh, it’s not all bad. I’m getting better at apparating. And now I don’t leave a trail of ectoplasmic slime behind every time I leave the room.”

Max: “That’s better than Sam can say.” (1:23:13)

Sam: “I’m not gonna rest until I find the guy who killed my partner!” (1:43:13)

Max: “Wow. I feel really very close to you now, Agent Superball.” (1:45:33)

Sam: “I don’t like the thought of you teleporting off without me, Max.” (1:46:33)

Max: “Sam, this is all so sudden! I… I don’t know what to say!” (2:07:10)

Sam: “I think one of us should try to smash through that window with his rock-hard, melon-sized head.”

Max: “And I think one of us should try the door, unless he wants to spend the rest of the day picking plate glass out of his partner’s fluffy white nether regions.” (2:17:00)

Girl Stinky: “Sam and Max? Don’t tell me Skun-ka’pe wants YOU guys to be his love slaves, too?” (2:24:48)

Girl Stinky: “Eww. He wishes. He’s SO not my type. You only have to date an evil gorilla once to learn never to make THAT mistake again.”

Max: “We’ve all been there, girlfriend.” (2:25:07)

Girl Stinky: “Gee, it sounds like YOU two should go out with him. Would you like me to give you guys some privacy?” (2:27:33)

Max: “You’re my best friend, Sam! I know you’d take a bullet for me!” (2:31:02)

Sam: “You keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end with you eating me, Max. It’s getting annoying.”

Max: “If you don’t like it, then stop looking so damn tasty.” (2:38:11)

Max: “Think of something quick, Sam. I don’t like the way he’s undressing me with his eyes.” (2:53:22)

#Sam and Max #samandmax #Freelance Husbands #The Devil's Playhouse #The Penal Zone #Flor talks #long post #guns cw #this has been sitting in my folders for AGES #on that note; I'm not getting back into sam and max; this is just something I meant to post forever ago #but got lazy about it due to having to put pics together and look for timestamps #(granted once the Devil's Playhouse remake come out I intend on playing all the games outside of vr #and make a compilation of Max being gay; not just through his relationship with Sam but other guys as well) #looking back at it now I'd actually argue some of those aren't exactly gay moments or are just random sex jokes #along with a few that only make sense in a broader context like Max not wanting to lie to Flint bc he has a crush on him #but also I already have all the screenshots from back then so might as well use them #btw my favorite ones are Max complimenting Skun-ka'pe early on bc it's hilarious to see him praise a villain like that #and the one with Sam wanting to throw Max through the shop's window due to how domestic the dialogue is #also when they talk with Flint and Max thinks Sam cheated on him with Stinky

[pelcrow]

"You and I were born like the breaking day. All our seasons, all our green Septembers burn away."

#my ocs #original character #oc art #tw body horror #tw gore #tw body trauma #this was a piece that really pushed me out of my comfort zone #i've been working on and off on this for several months! #it's by no means perfect but i'm happy with it!! #maxanthus and jack #all of my ocs in this story have a dedicated song by the carpenters asdgjkjdf #crescent noon is maxanthus' #it's haunting and ominous and very pretty #just like a fork wielding silver haired cunty villain #i drew a lot more guts in the full pic hrghghhh #there's a lot of symbolism in the flowers except for the bearded irises and it's just bc i thought max had bearded iris energy #sketches #oc artwork #oc drawing