Tumgik
#Viscerals
cemeterything · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
are we still doing this because i have a late submission
29K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 1 year
Text
probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
52K notes · View notes
Text
so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
15K notes · View notes
senorboombastic · 7 months
Text
Live Review: Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs at O2 Ritz in Manchester 30 September 2023
Words: Andy Hughes It seems like only yesterday that we were packed into the Star and Garter in Manchester to watch this relatively new band with a funny name creating a proper racket to a rapt crowd. Well, they were relatively new to us at least, but at that point we were catching Geordie lot Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs on their ascent. Darlings of BBC 6 Music (favoured by the one and…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
1 note · View note
sexygaywizard · 1 year
Text
I've been seeing a lot that people are really surprised and upset that pissvortex got banned, and while I think it's fucked up and shitty that he did get banned, I also don't think it's very surprising because- and here's something I think a lot of non-TERFs don't understand- TERFs navigate this website very differently from the rest of us. The standard reaction to any non-TERF encountering a TERF is to block them, and generally not engage. You know, we have block lists of TERFs that go around. TERFs themselves, they don't really do this shit. They don't have huge block lists of trannies- I mean that would be like 80% of the fucking site- what they do is they keep watch of accounts that they really fucking hate and they hang out in their little discord servers because they're petty and vicious and have nothing better to do than fill their lives with poison and venom, and they harass you to provoke you, and when you say some shit about how terfs should kill themselves or be scalped, they share it around between themselves and mass report it. And absolutely no large social media website, not Tumblr, not Twitter, not Facebook, is going to see a post that received hundreds of reports where you said that somebody should be scalped and think, "Oh but was the other person being like a real huge asshole though?" That's not how they work. They just ban you. Whatever moderator is managing that shit does not care enough to look into the larger societal wide context of why you said that. I'm not saying this to say that you should be kind to or play nice with TERFs, I'm just saying this so that you can perhaps have an awareness of how some of your posts may look to a moderator who's received hundreds of reports about them. They're playing a different game, so play smart
25K notes · View notes
Text
the fact that desert duo had the opportunity to emote in game and the first thing they did was hug is doing cocomelon shit to my head rn
1K notes · View notes
autism-connoisseur · 1 month
Text
john marston is stronger than me fr because if my brother got tuberculosis and i heard someone calling him "black lung" i would have immediately put so many holes in the bastard you could play harmonica with his dead body
2K notes · View notes
tojisun · 7 months
Text
simon comes with you inside the fitting rooms so that he can be your little – ironic, yes – helper.
there’s something about these moments that simon really loves. it wasn’t really about seeing you undress – not that seeing your bare skin before him doesn’t make his blood vessels sing – but what simon cherishes more was the quiet intimacy of the moment.
the way you would turn to him and ask him to zip up the back of your dress or how you would huff and ask him for help as you pull up a tight shirt that didn’t quite fit well.
simon adores these moments, the one where mundanity settles deep underneath his scarred skin to cradle his beating heart. the one that reminds him of home because home has always been with you; has always been within your arms.
“so? what d’you think?” you ask, turning to him.
he watches as you fluff up the hems of the dress’ skirt before you run your fingers along the material it’s made from, soft hums rumbling from the base of your throat.
“let me see you well, darlin’,” he replies, straightening up from the cushioned seat. you tilt your head at him in question. simon chuckles. “twirl for me, sweetheart.”
excitement bleeds into your pretty face before giving him just that – a quiet twirl since you’ve long discarded your shoes, your hands hooked at your waist to give way for the skirt to flutter. when you face him again, a beautiful smile is etched on your lips, your eyes wide with glee.
“you look gorgeous in it, love,” he whispers, spreading his legs open and beckoning you close. you pad to the space between his legs, huffing a fond laugh when simon’s hands trail from your bare thighs to the swell of your ass, the skirt pooling along his forearm.
“it’s that pretty?” you quip, squeaking when simon lightly pinches your skin.
“yeah,” he says, and he isn’t even shocked at how breathless he sounds. “fuckin’ pretty.” he meets your wide eyes. “all f’r me.”
you roll your eyes at him before pressing your lips on his forehead. “all for you,” you murmur as you pull back.
simon chases you with a hand on the small of your back and the other looped around your wrist, pulling you to his lap with ease. you let yourself be manhandled with a giggle, only for all noise to be snuffed out of you as he finally slots his lips against yours.
that’s right. you are his. all that you are – his to love.
6K notes · View notes
akanemnon · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Humans, how do they work?
Bonus Ending:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
12K notes · View notes
thestuffedalligator · 21 days
Text
The trees lumbered across the field.
It was a weird thing to watch. When a tree settled to rest or sniff at an interesting crocus, she could almost believe that it had been rooted to the spot for years; then the huge body would raise up on spidery roots and trundle forward with stupid placidity to follow the herd. When they all had settled to rest in the morning light, it was like the field had been turned into a misty woodland in seconds.
A sapling bounded up to her and sniffed at her wrist before bounding off again, spindly roots kicking with delight.
"It's pretty simple work," said the farmer. "We let them out to get some fresh air and sunlight, check them for blight. Every so often we have to lay out some manure, but that's pretty much it."
She watched the sapling. It stumbled on its own limbs and limped into the shade of its mother.
"It's pretty similar to raising cattle," said the farmer. "We raise them up for a couple years, and when they get big enough we take them down to the slaughterhouse and have them butchered."
"Wouldn't you send them to a logging mill or something?"
"Nope."
A chickadee whirred through the air and lighted onto a branch.
"There's good money in it, too," said the farmer. "There's a lot of demand for certain cuts of tree meat."
"You mean wood?"
"Nope."
There was a blur of branches. The tree ate the chickadee.
1K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
happy ides of march
1K notes · View notes
cheebuss · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
He has another answer too but he knows better than to OVERSHARE overshare with her 😌
1K notes · View notes
ghost-bxrd · 2 months
Text
Prompt:
It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.
But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.
Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne
#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT#Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here#his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’#Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is#dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother#his build certainly makes him look old enough#if you don’t look at his baby face lol#Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode#Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction#Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd#jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd#while clutching Damian like his life depends on it#for all he knows it does#the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby#Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T#jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY#hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again#it’s not gonna hold for long#but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH#Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl#or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son#running away from him#and clutching a tiny kid#prompts#jason todd#batfamily#Damian wayne#batdad#brucie wayne
1K notes · View notes
doctormage · 1 year
Text
my friend sent me a playlist of medieval-y covers of contemporary songs (which fucks btw) but one particular song came on while I was showering today and it was. an Experience
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
13K notes · View notes
vaguely-concerned · 3 months
Text
sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
1K notes · View notes
senorboombastic · 1 year
Text
This One Song… Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs on Mr Medicine
This One Song… Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs on Mr Medicine
Tell you what – we love hearing from artists when things go right. We equally love hearing from artists when things go dreadfully wrong. A song that was a piece of piss, written in 20 minutes? Or years in the making and a bastard to write? Whether it’s a song that came together through great duress or one that was smashed out in a short amount of time, we’re getting the lowdown from some of our…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes