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#What a shame I can't commit
fairyroses · 7 months
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She was the only thing I was living for. I’m sorry for your loss, sir, but right now we need to get you airborne. Police will be here any minute. I’m well aware of that. I’m turning myself in.
— SMALLVILLE, “Bizarro” (7.01)
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unopenablebox · 1 year
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new sources of guilt for today:
fell asleep on the couch last night, could not be woken up enough to move, slept on couch for most of night before eventually regaining consciousness and going to bed
because set alarm in context of above, did not remember that i was going to need to get up with or before 🌸 in order to buy milk; accordingly 🌸 bought milk
allowed my dad’s insane thing about vacations to actually come out of my stupid mouth, have probably defused but will maybe have to re-defuse again later, 🌸 took it gracefully but jesus fucking christ
it’s not like i needed another reason to add to the list of reasons that it’s intrinsically impossible for me to stop doing this job but i’m pretty sure i’m hanging on to 🌸’s parents’ tolerance primarily through an adequate display of aspiration to upward mobility and quitting my phd would really bring my, um, solidly middle-class doesn’t-know-about-financial-instruments uncouth jewish executive dysfunction qualities back into the foreground
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neverendingford · 7 months
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#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
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luxraydyne · 1 year
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wait, dude, wait. aini was supposed to be cosmic horror??
girl, seriously? i dunnooooo i’m not really feeling it fellas
#i'm some i've read some cosmic horror(/weird fic prob more fitting here) in my time and i do not get those vibes from it at aaaaall#i can believe that cosmic horror is what aini *thought* it was doing. but no.#game doesn't commit nearly enough and its so like. self conscious in terms of 'we gotta make this appeal to more people' to commit#and like in this economy it's just not weird enough tbh#simulation theory as plot point in and of itself does not a cosmic horror/weird fiction make. or like. an interesting one#and when the writing ultimately chickens out with the 'but its okay because even if it's a simulation we all matter and should be content'#which it will#i should be feeling existentially uneasy and instead i'm like 'my god i totally know exactly where this is going'#and it's so needless! you have a scifi concept ripe with fic psychological weird horror potential that went untapped!#why let that just shrivel up in the corner cause sim theory's more big brain?? make a different game then!#i simply do not care about the ''frayer'' or whomstever the player avatar is called today. cause the game don't care either lol#its heart somehow aint in it. which is weird considering how much other good shit was tossed in favour of the new Thing#its pure mechanics. which could work if the game goes all in on mechanical narrative. but the mechanics dont even work#it's not even interested in the interesting meaty bit of the concept it's so completely linear it misses its own point entirely#the mechanics arent integrated with the thematics at all its so clunky which is a shame cause clearly a lot of nitpicking went in#from like the dialogue writers#proofing this thing was a nightmare i would imagine#and like. you can't have a pandemic rocket and stormtrooper horde as the climax of your story and expect me to seriously inspect it#as a proper serious work of cosmic horror i'm too busy rolling my eyes and laughing at it#not saying that something can't have both weird horror and comedy elements to it reasonably speaking#but the horror elements aren't beefy and deeply thought out enough nor is the comedy integrated in such a way to hit that sweet spot#uuuugh theres something in here somewhere but not like. as one game. take one or two elements split them off and develop them#like properly. fully with care and gusto and focus on what the writing actually feels. then you could have a couple of good games#and maybe even a decent cosmic horror product#but this Aint It. weird fiction/cosmic horror is more than a base concept or aesthetic flairs you gotta gets the guts underneath#it will not tag this properly but i will make the walls of tag attached#of increasing and therefore increasingly absurd length. for the bit
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exo-s-victory-lap · 2 years
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has any boy group ever covered a cbx song? i feel like they should start cover cbx songs for a change instead of yet another botched call me baby one
I don't think Anyone has covered a cbx song. It's for good reason tho the c and b are baek and chen like you still have industry top vocals in there if you couldn't manage cmb your just gonna embarrass yourself with cbx too
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angelsrcute · 22 days
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I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL ᝰ.ᐟ✮⋆˙
◟♡ ˒ ʾʾ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 — smut. ◟♡ ˒ ʾʾ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — Dom!Priest!Zhongli w Sub!f!reader. ◟♡ ˒ ʾʾ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — corruption, wet dreams, dirty thoughts, religious themes, unprotected sex, raw sex.
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Priest!Zhongli — who's devoted to his Archon, never dated anyone or committed sinful acts, as per the church rules.
Priest!Zhongli — who does what he normally does but notices you, ridiculous, is what he thinks! Those clothes and the way you don't even sit properly, bored expression. You definitely aren't serious about devotion to god.
Priest!Zhongli — who gets to learn that you only come here because of your grandma.
Priest!Zhongli — who ignores you when you catch him staring at you, smirking. He'd hate to admit but why are you so hot!? Gosh, it's embarrassing.
Priest!Zhongli — who wakes up in the middle of the night, all sweaty and hot. His cock straining against his pants. How shameful he really is, a wet dream about you– pretty eyes staring up at him as you suck him off, one of your legs up his shoulder as he fucks you stupid, his cock thrusting in your cunt at a brutal pace.
Priest!Zhongli — who can't even meet your gaze the next time he sees you, Archon's above, may they forgive him for thinking of such sinful acts!
Priest!Zhongli — who just fucks you in his bed when he finally can't take it anymore, with that outfit– You were definitely tempting him. Now sprawled on the bed as you look up at him innocently begging to be filled, his hands twisting and kneading at your tits, his eyes filled with lust. Your intentions don't look so innocent, hmph.
Priest!Zhongli — who can't help but let out breathy moans and whimpers as he feels your warm cunt clenching on his cock. Your eyes rolling back with pretty tears falling down your face. Looking like some common whore. So lewd.
Priest!Zhongli — who forgets to pull out, he's too focused on how good you feel, your cunt sucking in his cock. Well, if he did cum inside, a round two wouldn't hurt right?
“Ngh–, you truly are divine, dear. Have you been thinking about this too? Hah, I bet you have with how you look at me during praying sessions.”
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diveinyouastro · 8 months
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🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~
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☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.
☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, Might have spread rumors about them at some point.
Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.
If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.
☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.
☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.
☆ scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.
☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. Might have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.
☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.
☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.
☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.
☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.
☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.
☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.
☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. Might have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. Might have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.
That's it for now🫶🏻
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milksuu · 6 months
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Sorry, Mom. I'm The New Cleaning Lady For Heartsteel
Pairings: various!Heartsteel x f!reader
Status: on-going (Cross posted on AO3)
Content/Warnings: 18+ content, explicit themes, suggestive language
Summary: Identity theft was a crime—that was obvious. But when it meant paying off the bills for basically existing and your mother’s hospital expenses, committing a felony didn’t seem like a bad thing. It was like that one quote, from that one band, with that one hit song: “Two sides to a story but they never tell me side.”
Or…something like that. Wait, what was their name again? Heartsteel? Sounds like a dating sim game.
[Reader takes the identity of her mother, who had been hired to be the new cleaning lady for an up and coming boy band named ‘Heartsteel’. Obviously, there’s no way they would ever find out. But that was a joke. Because they’re definitely finding out: one by one.]
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“You…brought your own cleaning supplies?”
“You always need to be prepared, young man,” you replied, adjusting your duck-yellow cleaning gloves. They squeeked and flopped comically around your hand and fingers. 
“Ma’am, you do understand today is solely the house tour.” The man folded his arms neatly against his chest, white brow raised. “In order to rely on you fully, you’ll need to be familiar with the estate first. I thought we discussed this beforehand. That and…we have cleaning supplies to provide you with here.”
You paused at the grand modern entrance. You lifted your bucket full of sponges, brushes, and cleaning spray from the dollar store. 'Buy-one-get-one' on all cleaning supplies was the grand deal of the day. How could you pass a penny-pinching bargain? Swallowing your shame, you settled the cheap items on the pristine granite floors. 
“Oh, is that so? Must’ve slipped my mind. Age will do that to you.” You forced a chuckle, adjusting your sterile mask across your youthful face. “That and, I have such a passion for cleaning. I can't help myself. I see the inside of a house, and I just have to clean it. I’m sure you could understand that.”
“I don’t believe I could,” your employer said dryly. “Anyway, if you will, follow me.”
You nodded and shuffled along accordingly. As you stared into the back of his immaculately pressed business attire, a new-found horror struck through you: you had no clue what your employer’s name was. Frantically, you scavenged your pockets. From it, you pulled out a business card, holding it so close to your face you smelled the tinge of clean cologne.
YONE
RIOT RECORDS
DJ / PRODUCER
TELEPHONE:  XXX-XXX-XXXX
“The bottom floor consists of all of the amenities; gym, entertainment area, recording studio and so on.” Yone stated as he stepped into the open-kitchen plan. When he regarded you again, you awkwardly plunged the card back into your pants pocket. “The boys have their own scheduled chores every week. They’re expected to do it without you having to help them. I’m trying to keep them humble, but easier said than done. Refer to the chore calendar on the fridge. And try not to interfere with it too much.”
“Okay—who switched my protein powder with flour?” Behind an opened cabinet, a heavy-muscled stacked man growled. “Guys. Seriously. This stuff’s expensive. Where’d it go?” When he poured the contents out into the trash can, he plucked out a note from the bottom of the canister. The small print read:
‘Protein powder tastes like dog food.’’
The weight of realization punched him square between the eyes. He threw open the pantry, where dog kibble was stored in a tub at the bottom marked ‘Ernest’. Sett pulled open the container, and sure enough, found his  protein powder and scooper. There was no mistaking his favorite smell of cinnamon crunch isolate, now mixed with the scent of dry-bacon kibble. Another note pasted the inside lid:
‘Woof–Woof ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ’
“A–phe–li–os,” the name gritted between his canines. His ears flattened against his untamed hair, and crumpled the note to dust in his palm. “Oh–Ho. Mess with me all you want; but never mess with my gains. I’m gonna’ prank him back so hard tonight, he’s gonna’ be begging me to stop.” 
“Sett,” Yone coughed, grabbing the Vistayan's attention. “We have a guest today. Our new cleaning lady.”
“Oh, sorry about that.” Sett wiped his powdered hand against his sleeveless shirt. He reached and took your rubber glove with a squelch. “Hey, how’s it goin’, Ma’am. The name’s Sett.” 
You swallowed hard, hoping your glove would remain securely covering your hand. You feared if he pulled back, he would reveal a hand that wasn't so wrinkled for someone supposedly in their late-fifties. And that was according to your mother’s age printed on her driver’s license. Thankfully, you could tell he restrained himself to a delicate shake.
“Would talk more but gotta hit the gym. Nice meetin’ yah though,'' Sett started away, and called back over his shoulder. “Mom, can you take care of Phel for me? I dunno' where he hid the dog food for Ernest.”
Yone exhaled a silent sigh, and part of you felt pity for your employer. He seemed like a parent with a tag-team of overbearing children running around the house. Being a single parent was difficult; you knew this first hand from your own up-bringing. It made you grateful for your mother’s patience and attention. It was the reason you were here in the first place. 
“Let’s continue with the tour upstairs,” Yone said, motioning you to a loft-style staircase. “The second floor consists of all the bedrooms and laundry room. At the end of the hall is my room. As it stands, it’s completely off limits to everyone, including yourself.” He turned a sharp chin in your direction, “Am I understood?”
You gulped and pressed your shoulders straight. “Of course.”
“Mommy, help me!” A bed of green hair bounced to Yone’s side, tugging at his tailored suit. “Kayn’s bullying me again. But I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear.”
“You’re such a crappy liar.” The presumed assailant, Kayn, stomped out of the hallway bathroom. Magenta hair stuck to his furrowing brows. With just a towel wrapped around his steaming waist, his abdominal muscles tensed, pointing aggressively at his target. “I was trying to shower in peace, until bubblegum pop princess over here came barging in trying to take selfies of himself. Did you know people usually shower naked? I’d like my junk not to be posted on social media, unless I’m the one doing it. For cash.” 
“It’s not my fault you’re always going over your shower limit. News flash: we each only get fifteen-minutes. But you’re always breaking the rules! You know I take my selfies at the same time, at the same place, every single day. So how about you do us all a favor, and get some better time management?”
Kayn raised a vein popping fist into the air. “How about I get you a better face instead?"
Ezreal cried fake sparkling tears, cowering further behind their producer.
“Enough. The both of you,” Yone tightened around his words like a leash, restraining the quarreling pair. “For once, I’d like for you two to at least pretend you get along in front of others.” 
The two whined and grumbled under their breaths till they fell to a silent agreement. But the peace treaty wasn’t upheld for long. You saw a zap of yellow from the corner of your eye. The image was so fast, you thought you must’ve imagined it—Nope. You definitely saw something. Kayn’s towel knot popped loose. And it wasn’t caused by an event of divine intervention.
The towel billowed towards the ground. And the world felt as if it was turning in slow motion, like one of those car chase movies with excessive explosions. Except, the only explosion here would be your very own heart.
Sure, you took an anatomy class here and there. In high school, you remembered the penis joke’s and games, and they never flustered you. Heck, not even when your friends set your desktop screen to a .gif of dicks spinning in circles—you found that hilarious. And when anatomy classes began in college, they were all very clinical, rudimentary, and otherwise a snooze fest. 
But seeing one in real life when you’ve never had a boyfriend or a one night stand, was truly groundbreaking. Earth shattering, even.
Penis (en)counter: 1
While you were stuck in your prison of naïve embarrassment, Ezreal laughed and pulled out his cell phone, camera light shuttering a mile a minute. 
“You little shi—!” Time sped forward again. With fast reflexes of his own, Kayn whipped the towel and knot back in place. “That’s it. You’re dead.” 
“Uh–Oh. Time to run again,” Ezreal quipped, zooming off down the stairs.
With all bark and full bite, Kayn vanished like a cloud of smoke in pursuit. You coughed against the smog, while Yone merely swatted his hand back and forth, dissipating the gray wisps.
“You’ll have to excuse them,” he commented. “They share the same room, but have vastly different personalities. I arranged most of them together, thinking it’d help them understand each other on a deeper level. And ultimately, help them perform better together in the studio and on stage. My efforts are…yet to be determined.”
“That’s alright. Can’t be easy for young men their age to share anything. Especially with them being full of energy, testosterone, and other things. O-Oh, to be young once more…ah-ha…” you laughed nervously. Oh, God. What the heck were you saying? Honestly, you had to give pardon to yourself. You were still trying to recover from seeing your first penis up close and personal.
The image would be forever burned in your mind.
You were pulled from your self-conscious thoughts. Down the hall, a pair of shadowed eyes peeked through a sliver of door and frame. When your gaze locked together, the other pair of eyes shifted shyly from side to side. As if a poltergeist existed within the room, the visage faded back into the uncanny crack of darkness. The door creaked closed, with an audible click and lock.
Yone pursued straight to the door, and you stood a few paces back. If there was any chance that a ghost was inside living rent-free, you wouldn't be the first it possessed. You weren't a certified Ghostbuster.
But you also weren't a certified Dustbuster, either. No one will know, know one will know, you chanted the comforting hymn. 
“Aphelios. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can see the computer light flashing,” Yone stated, rattling the door knob. “Where’s the kibble for the dog? Sett told me you have it somewhere.”
There was a beat in the air. From behind the door, you heard feet pacing back and forth, and the sounds of finger taps against a phone screen. Yone’s phone pinged with an alert. He pulled it out, and opened his text messages.
‘I can’t open the door all the way. I set the bucket of dog food to fall on Sett’s head when he comes in. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ’
“For the love of…no more pranks today." Yone pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. "But I doubt you could even manage that. Whatever trap you’ve ensembled, take it down—now. And put the dog’s food back in the pantry. Unless you want to donate a cut of your earnings every month to Ernest’s pet store bill.”
Another pause, followed by begrudging phone taps. 
‘Fine, m O T h E r…(¬_¬")’
“That might take him a few. Depending how intricate the set up was. I would be surprised if the only thing involved in this scheme was just the dog food.” Yone motioned you back down the stairs. “Last thing to see is the outdoor space.”
Continuing with the tour, you passed through the lower floor, stepping down a hallway decorated with awards and magazine clippings. From commercial modeling gigs to sold out venues, your eyes glistened at the polished look the group was slowly cultivating. Which you had to admit, completely contradicted their personal lives.
When you reached a sliding glass door that stretched from floor to ceiling, you stepped out onto a landscaped deck. Lush modern garden trims, a shaded outdoor lounge, and smooth sandstone pavement decorated the space. At the backend, an infinity pool rested in pristine stillness. 
At the head of the pool, a person of sculpted bronze physique posed in swimwear on a lounge chair. When you approached along with your chaperone, he picked up his tropical drink, and tilted it in a cheering gesture.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mama gracing me with his presence. And look's like someone else is with him, too.” The man basking in the sun's rays and oil slicked, shucked his sunglasses onto his dread locks. “Let me guess. This must be the new cleaning lady you hired to pick up after our mess.”
“To a certain degree,” Yone replied. “But not all of the mess, K’Sante. Out of everyone, you should know better.”
“I only joke, Mama.” He grinned smoothly, taking a sip of his frozen alcoholic refresher. “Say, have you seen Sett? I told him to come join me for a tan by the pool. If he wants his muscles to truly pop, he needs to use some oil and not be allergic to the sun. The man is whiter than the sky is bright today.”
As he laughed to himself, Ernest left his chew toy at the far side of the pool, and came to sniff your shoes. With a smile, you slipped a very small piece of your long sleeve up, allowing him to sniff at your skin. The dog lapped his tongue around his slobbering chops, barking delightedly and pawing for you to pet him. You were more than happy to oblige.
These gloves came in handy after all, you thought pleasantly as globs of saliva fell in heaps over your fingers.
“What’s this? Ernest taking a liking to the cleaning lady already,” K’Sante mused at the sight. “Barely warmed up to us when we first met. We won’t mention the illegal trespassing but, call me impressed.” 
With a wink, he flicked his sunglasses back down to the bridge of his nose. “That or he has a ‘ting for older women. Can’t say I blame ‘em. An experienced woman has a certain power that’ll make any grown man cry. And from my own experience, it is never for mercy.”
Oh, boy. You couldn’t imagine your mother being interested in the cougar life-style. Not that you would approve of it. And you were certain your father would descend from the heavens and deliver the backhand of God to any young man who dared otherwise.
Before Yone could address the unsavory statement, Ezreal burst through the backyard sliding doors. Still possessed with laughter, he hopped and skipped over pool chairs and tables. The merriment stopped short when Kayn caught up to the cheeky idol, snatching his wrist which held the phone. From the staggering halt, the phone slipped from Ezreal’s hold, somersaulting towards the pool. 
“M-My phone!” Ezreal paled at the thought of losing thousands of stored photos of himself—Oh, and the blackmail photos he was going to use against Kayn, too. 
Yanking his wrist free, Ezreal pursued the device. But Ernest’s rubber hotdog toy squealed beneath him, forcing him off balance. Kayn latched an arm around Ezreal's slim waist, and pressed him safely against his bare chest.
He huffed against Ezreal's ear. “You can’t swim, you idiot. Remember? Just let it go.” 
Ernest barked at the surmounting commotion. Being the valiant guard dog with the perfect pedigree, he bounded on his thick paws to catch Kayn by the towel, with all the intent to keep them both from falling in. What a good boy! Unfortunately for Kayn, Ernest bit a bit more than he could chew.
Kayn’s voice bass boosted ten-octaves lower. “MY DAMN ASS!”
W-Whose voice was that? Was that even the same person? The thought rattled through you.
A chunk of Kayn's soft meat condensed in the jaws of a furry devil. A shock travelled up the nerves of his spine, into the the muscle fibers of his arm, shoving Ezreal forward. Ezreal flailed his hands in the air, desperate to find some semblance of balance—with no luck, at all. Fumbling on his tip-toes, Ezreal plummeted into the pool with a splash. Kayn stumbled from the after-shock of his spirit being bitten straight through his buttcheeks. His feet met the cursed rubber squeaker, sending him following suit into the pool. Except, the towel had its own plans. It decided to stay behind and not get involved.
Penis (en)counter: 2
“I heard some commotion, fellas. What’s goin’ on?” Sett stepped out from the sliding doors. He caught witness of Ezreal’s face treading water, gasping for bouts of air. Sett’s muscles popped at the sight, barreling towards the scene. “Don’t worry, Ez. I’m coming for yah, buddy!”
Sett launched himself into the air, preparing the most athletic Olympic dive ever conceived.
Kayn inhaled sharply as he broke through the water's surface tension. Recuperating his breaths, he slicked his wet hair back from his face. Looking down at the waters crystal reflection, an odd shadow grew in size around him. And according to the forecast earlier; there was no chance in Hell of clouds or rain. Lifting his nose to the darkening sky, he blanched in sheer horror. A body, massive enough to eclipse the sun, hurled down like a meteor descending to Earth.
What day was it today, Doomsday? He must've forgot; Kayn never bothered to look at calendar's, anyway.  
Back to the painful mistress that was his life; a weak, painful moan escaped him. “You can’t be serious. This isn’t the cool death I deserve—”
Those were Kayn’s final words. A wave rivaling a tsunami consumed him, a random pizza chair float, and the immediate surrounding pool area. Standing in the designated splash zone, pool water soaked your soles, leached into your socks, and dampened your pants to the knees. From K’Sante’s spot, a shot of chlorine or two spiked his drink. He snatched his sunglasses off and shouted the words; “This was the last bit of banana daiquiri mix, you aboas! Now I have to go down to the liquor store and hope they sell it frozen already.”
Yone, with all the grace anyone could hope to be blessed with, merely side-stepped away. A single speck landed on his polished shoes. He narrowed his steely eyes, flicking away the insignificant drop.
You caught something flashing on the second floor of the estate. Looking up, you shielded your eyes from the glaring sun. From one of the windows, you spotted someone holding up a sign. You assumed it was Aphelios. The poster read:
‘4/10 Ezreal. 6/10 Kayn. 10/10 Sett.’
With a dramatic burst through the water, Sett hurled Ezreal over his massive shoulder, and walked out of the pool. Placing Ezreal onto his soaking back, he coughed and gagged against the awful taste of treated water.
He smiled at his new-found savior. “Thanks, Sett. I’m fine, but what about Kayn…”
The group shifted their attention over the silent, lapping water. After a bubble or two, the sight of Kayn’s bare bottom surfaced to the top. Floating like a wet and rounded land-mass, with the additional landmark of a pink dog-bite. 
“Kayn! Hang in there, pal!” Sett launched himself once more into the water, creating another wave of soaking magnitude.
Although the drink had already been spoiled, K’Sante reflexively covered the top of his daiquiri glass. “For God’s sake, Sett. Take your time. It’s not like you’re saving the life of an innocent man.”
As chaos continued to ensue around the gang, Yone placed himself at your side. With a shake of his head, he crossed his arms, and sent a ghost of a smile your way.
“Welcome to Heartsteel,” he said. “Your first day starts tomorrow.” 
Looks like your identity was safe…for now, at least.
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an: thanks for reading! the rest of the this story will most likely just be on my AO3. You can find me @ milksuu. comments and suggestions always welcomed. <3
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nothorses · 9 months
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"the public education system is intently evil and all teachers are abusive because it was the worst experience ever for me personally"
guys, look, I'm legitimately sorry that happened to you. that's fucked up. it shouldn't have happened, and it shouldn't be allowed to happen again to you or anyone else. I'm sorry.
public school was hard for me too, at times, and I'm still suffering the consequences for the harsh grading, the arbitrary deadlines, the hours of completely useless-to-me homework. I could name a few teachers who have been pretty fucking terrible. the fact that nobody considered getting me evaluated for ADHD has had an impact on my self image and academic success that I can't erase.
and also.
I grew up in an area where education, in particular, is incredibly progressive-leaning. educators are working really hard to create and try out education philosophies and practices that prioritize kids and their learning, rather than teachers and what they think kids should learn.
My sex ed was comprehensive, and came entirely from school. My gay sixth grade teacher taught me about HIV/AIDs in a useful, accurate way. In high school, I learned about the way orgasms work & I was prepared not to feel shame for normal stuff.
I learned that Communism was not what the USSR actually practiced, and what it really means. I learned about atrocities and, specifically, the genocide of indigenous people committed in/by the US. I learned about the military industrial complex, the school-to-prison pipeline, and I learned about manifestations of racism specific to my local area. I learned about Stonewall, and the intersection of the civil rights movement with gay rights and disability justice.
My creative writing teacher taught us about LSD, and the real reasons we shouldn't do it, after a hilariously ineffective assembly run by some local cops. He spoke gently, carefully, and emphatically about his friends and his own experiences. Later in the semester, he read us a story he wrote about two gay men finding each other in a deeply homophobic environment.
My sci-fi teacher made me feel safe & seen as a kid with "weird" interests. My US History teacher helped me research and put together a 10-page paper on the modern relevance and mission of Feminism. My government teacher made me feel appreciated for the work I put into the class, and the thought I put into what I said in it, even though he disagreed with a lot of it. My sixth grade teacher bought me books to read with his personal money, whichever ones I asked for. My third grade teacher made me feel safe. My science teacher in middle school made me excited for and passionate about science, and saw and nurtured the effort I put into her class.
A lot of stuff sucks, absolutely. But I am seeing new teaching methods being tried out all the time, and I am watching teachers get really excited when I teach their students about the roots of modern graffiti in US black history & to question property laws, and just...
There's hope. there are so many people doing so much work to make things better. so many people agree with you on what education should be, and are trying so fucking hard to put that into action, and so many public schools- not just teachers, but whole schools and even districts- are really doing that work. so much is getting better.
I had more to say, about necessary childcare and trusted adults and outside contacts and time away from abusive family. But like. Please just sit down and listen to more people on this, and please talk to educators and education professionals about what's really going on in this big huge world of philosophy, science, and practice.
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konigbabe · 8 months
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frosting of my cake
DAY 5 ⇢ Breeding Pairing: Satoru Gojo x fem!reader Word count: 1.2k Tags/warnings: no y/n; smut; breeding kink; manhandling; mating press Summary: You want a baby. Satoru is determined to give it to you. [Part of NSFW Gojo Week 2023]. Divider by @benkeibear [source].
event masterlist • masterlist • navigation • faq • AO3 • ko-fi
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"My last, third wish," you put up three fingers, "want a baby."
He looks at you in silence, not quite comprehending the request you've just made. Casual over the breakfast bowl in your hands, hair still all messy and tangled from sleep.
"I was thinking you'd say more of a food play when you said you got the idea when grabbing lunch with Shoko…or another threesome. Both would be acceptable."
But this...this was unexpected. You've surprised him for once, made him speechless.
"Is baby not acceptable," you query, setting your breakfast bowl on the kitchen island.
Satoru shakes his head quickly and puts his breakfast on the table. "No–god no," he moves to stand beside you, one of your hands in both of his. Yes, it might've been sudden, but Satoru can't deny his heart skipped a beat when your words reached his ears – body shaking with anticipation and excitement, mind already running ideas of how you could make a baby.
"It's acceptable. Of course–completely acceptable. Very sudden but that's it."
"So…do you want a baby with me?" you suddenly feel timid. Even though this conversation has been long overdue.
The question seems to linger in the air. You remain still, staring into his face. Waiting.
"I do–yeah," he exhales oppressively, squeezing your hands between his own in a reassuring manner as if he knows exactly what you're thinking without ever having to say a word.
And so you get to work.
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You should've seen it in highsight–
Satoru's determination – no matter the cause – has always been unwavering. Perpetual and steadfast, he's committed to his goals regardless of the situation or objective, whether in the jujutsu world or your love life. And if it involved you, Satoru Gojo has become anthropocentric.
–so when those words left your mouth a few days ago, you should've been more aware of the consequences.
It's also the reason there's a calendar on his nightstand, today's date circled in red – ovulation.
And why your cries resonate through the dimly lit bedroom. Sheets sticking to your back, slick with your sweat as Satoru pivots his hips into your quelching cunt. Puffy and swollen; already leaking his release, creating sounds that would make your face burn with shame if it weren't for the pure greed in his hungry eyes..
"Satoru–," his name flows out of your mouth, head fuzzy and unable to comprehend no more, "agh–feels so good."
Satoru's hand settles on the dip of your knee, pushing the leg into your chest more as his chest presses against your legs.
"Fuck," his hips roll into you with fervor devotion, "squeezing me so tight."
Once more you utter his name in a shattered tone. Satoru's response an unsteady thrust of his hips. It makes your back to arch in his grasp, toes curling as he relentlessly batters that sweet spot that sends waves of ecstasy crashing over your senses.
His thumb brushes against your slick, swollen lips, and his kiss is a wild, intoxicating mess. Sloppy. Messy. Unhurried with languid strokes of his tongue against yours. An oasis in the storm; a brief reprieve from the intensity that throbs between your legs. Satoru's hand drifts to your breast, cupping it like a precious gem, as he slows down.
The pressure moves from your breast, trailing along the curve of your waist until it presses against your throbbing clit. Small, filthy noises escape from the back of his throat as his lips meld with yours; a satisfied hum that spreads through your body with each thrust he gives you.
"Ahg–I'm gonna cum, Satoru–"
A guttural moan rolls over his tongue, past your lips. A rumble of approval that makes your stomach flutter with glee.
Your limbs pinned, unable to do anything against the relaxation that overcomes your body. And in this position, even if you could move, you wouldn't. You savor the leisurely gliding thrusts, the euphoria and warmth flooding your veins, the sensation of his body covering yours and the breathless sound of his moans against your lips.
"I love you so much," it's barely above a whisper, lips brushing against your skin as you feel his mouth curve into a smile against your neck. Satoru's name tears from your lips, fingers digging into the meat of his shoulder blades, legs straining painfully as he folds you in half.
It's your third time today and your second time in a row. A record for you. The sheer amount of energy you've expended almost unfathomable. A few minutes of rest to catch your breath is all it takes to has Satoru all hot and bothered again.
His name a constant thread beneath your breathless lips, heart racing so fervently that it threatens to burst from your chest before it's pulled back into your throat.
"Fuck–fuck–love you s'much," he babbles, feeling your pussy flutter around him. helpless to resist the temptation as your slick warmth pulls him in again and again–
The white stars in his eyes have always been mesmerizing but when he's close – about to blow – you've never seen anything more stunning.
–milking him dry when he reaches yet another climax.
(Fourth, you think. But given the passage of time, you wouldn't be surprised if it was even more.)
Satoru waits until you calm down, limp and pliant in his arms, before he lays a palm over your abdomen.
"I think we need more."
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Satoru stretches his muscles as he rolls onto his back, his arm extending beneath the bed. Fumbling around in the dim light, searching until his fingers close around a thin, lightweight book. The image of a newborn on the cover already gives away the content, so it comes as no surprise when you read the title: BABY MAKING 101.
With an almost magical swiftness, Satoru produces a pen from somewhere and flips the publication open to its last page. You watch as he scribbles inside for a moment, his actions causing a curious intrigue to build within you until you can't help but ask, "What is that?"
He glances at you, his cheeks still sporting a faint pinkish hue. "A book. It has a list of all the best positions for breeding. Look, "and he turns the open page toward you, revealing a bulleted list of various positions—missionary, reverse cowgirl, wheelbarrow, waterfall, mating press—some of which you've never heard of before.
You raise an eyebrow and notice that some of the positions have a star drawn next to them. "Should I be asking why some of them have a star next to them?"
Satoru grins mischievously, and the tip of his pen clicks against the word "lotus" on the page. "For future reference," he says playfully. "My personal favorites."
You can't help but chuckle before he continues, "It even has tips and research on how to make babies."
"I'm pretty sure I know how babies are made."
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theghostofashton · 2 years
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#didnt wanna rant in my meta post so im just gonna do it here#if you don't wanna see me being angry about 6x04 and 6x05 don't read lol#but god i hate the hurt locker#and not only bc it's making fun of a section of fans#that's fucked and gross and idc i just find it so cruel to use sue in all of this#and turn everything into a joke that shames fans and makes them seem obsessive in a bad way#the optics of that absolutely suck esp when it's a queer ship that was so important to so many people#it's cheap and unnecessary and just......i hate it i'm sorry#but also my other big issue is that all this feels manufactured#especially knowing how they do 6x08#it feels so lazy of the writers#they wanted to do a second breakup a huge blowout break off the engagement#they wanted the dramatics of that#but they didn't want to commit to it and actually see the story through oh no#we can't do that that actually requires work lmfao#instead we're gonna call the fans out through sue and make people feel bad for being invested#that's what this is#it's lumping all the klaine fans together and making a joke about their investment in the ship#and it's just cruel lol#from writers that spent six seasons exploiting actors' insecurities to insult their characters or creating insecurities for the actors#i see this as nothing but cruelty#and it really rubs me wrong and i am very glad these eps are over lmfao#also in regards to this but also so many people on here lol i am so tired of people using 'it's just a joke'!! to invalidate people#'it's just a joke i found it funny it's not that deep' okay......to you? other people may not find it funny lmfao#so many people use that as a justification to be downright cruel bc ofc it's not cruel if they're just 'joking'#and i hate it#it is genuinely not that hard to respect people who have different perspectives than you at least i thought it wasn't#but being online makes me wonder if that's actually true#delete later
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kierahn · 1 month
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DRIVEN. [ y ! assassin x m ! reader ]
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[ nsfw, minors DNI ]
yandere! assassin x journalist! male reader
warnings :
nsfw
forced non-con [in bold letters]
dead dove
reader death
slight torture warning
semi-necrophilia ?
hi, i'm back after three months of dying🧍‍♂️ it might take me awhile before i post a fic again, but here's an update for you guys.
malachi was a man whose services could be availed with just the right amount of money. he isn't the type to settle for less, confident that he was beyond excellent at doing his job.
ask him to dispose of someone and it would be as if they never existed in the first place. most of his victims' bodies had never been found. that, or they would be beyond recognizable when found. traces of his victims' existence would be gone in a pull of a trigger, with only their names to be remembered by their loved ones.
you were a journalist, renowned for your boldness and endless pursuit for the truth. unlike malachi, your silence can't be bought by any amount of money. you never hesitated to shed light on several issues which made you a formidable force in the eyes of the elite. after all, a journalist who values transparency above anything is someone to be feared by their kind; shrouded with secrets that they dare not reveal to the media.
you were well aware of the risks that came with your job, but that never once detered your work. truly remarkable, but idiotic in a sense.
you knew that it would all come to bite you back someday. with all those companies that you had brought down and names that you have ruined; maybe this was your karma catching up to you.
even as you stood at the receiving end of malachi's gun, regret never once entered your mind. you will never regret challenging the elites. they were nothing but a bunch of cowards, hiding behind their status and disposing of anything that threatened to destroy it.
over the past few months he had been keeping a watchful eye on you, malachi hadn't expected you to barely flinch despite having a gun pressed against your forehead.
"what an interesting reaction," the male on the other end mused as his calculating gaze studied your unfazed expression.
you truly were a bold one, always so headstrong and indifferent. even when threatened with a bullet through your skull, you stood your ground, not even a yell for help or a plead for him to spare you.
"why am i not surprised," a sound of amusement escaped malachi's lips. "you've always been so fearless. perhaps, you were already expecting this to happen."
he wasn't entirely wrong, you've long envisioned this scenario inside your head.
you stood with an oddly placid expression before the barrel of his gun, but your hands told a completely different story. they trembled against your sides, a stark contrast to your calm demeanor.
you were scared.
you could only hope that he could do it quickly to save you from further embarrassment.
"there's no point in prolonging this, is there ?" you spat out in spite, opening the door for death who stood at your doorstep.
your eyes were always so full of challenge, malachi wanted to rip that away from you. he had always wanted to see you with a different expression; whether it was fear or something more.
"a shame," he slightly lowered the gun in his hand, now pointed right where your heart lies. "i've grown quite fond of you, journalist." malachi shamelessly confessed.
something you two had in common was being highly driven by your work. unfortunately for you, malachi still had a job he was committed to.
‘ bang! ‘
he didn't fret over the possibility of the gunshot being heard by a passerby. if anyone were to investigate the source of the sound, he would simply dispose of them too.
malachi watched intently as you dropped to the ground.
and there it was. your fearful expression.
your eyes were wide with tears as you clutched your side where the bullet lodged itself, your breathing laboured as your mind quickly worked to try and numb out the excruciating pain you felt. curses left your lips, the warmth of your own blood trickling down your wrist.
he wasn't quite contented in ending things there. normally, he would go for a swift kill and dispose of his victims afterwards. however, he had purposely shot you in a spot that didn't instantly put you to rest.
the sound of footsteps nearing your fallen form reached your ears before your hand was forcefully ripped away from your bleeding side and pinned beside your head, leaving you more vulnerable than you intially were as your killer straddles your bloodied waist.
malachi's eyes scanned your tearful expression with a hint of content. absentmindedly, his free hand moved to caress your open wound.
"!!" an excruciating scream left your lips when malachi suddenly dug his finger through your bullet wound.
his grip around your wrist tightened when you started to thrash around under him, your survival instincts kicking in. you tried to throw him off of you, but your frantic movements only caused your wound to open up more.
malachi clicked his tongue in disapproval, removing his finger from your wound. "now you're just making things harder for yourself."
“HN!– ha.. f.. uck you,” you curse him through gritted teeth. your expression hardened as you shut your teary eyes tightly, trying to minimize the pain.
he leans down to move his face close to yours, examining the tears that slid down your reddened cheeks and the saliva that trickled down your chin. malachi drew his hand that was stained with your blood, brushing it under your eye and leaving a streak of crimson red.
"you know," he starts softly, feeling you tremble underneath him. "this look suits you better than the stoic one that you always wore.”
"i bet i can make you show so much more than that," malachi chuckled darkly, his words holding anticipation. "consider this a parting gift for my dear journalist."
the male roughly grabbed your cheeks to prevent you from struggling when he leans in to capture your lips into a forced kiss. his other hand left your limp wrist to rest, slipping under your bloodied shirt and brushing over the bullet wound up to your chest.
his touch was gentle, a stark contrast to the tight grip on your cheeks. anyone could tell that malachi was, to some degree, fond of the man under him.
he soon broke the kiss to trail his lips down your neck. his lips land on your shoulder where he suddenly bit down to leave his mark, making you flinch and let out a pained groan.
malachi pulled his lips away and gently licked the bleeding bitemark to try and soothe you in a way. he straightened back up to examine his handiwork.
your eyes seemed to be in a daze, your breathing slowing down. it was a clear indication that your conciousness was beginning to slip. but before life could completely escape you, malachi lands a harsh slap to your cheek.
"don't be so ungrateful, y/n." he warns, grabbing your cheeks roughly once more, his hand that was under your shirt leaving to grasp onto your thigh. "leaving without accepting my gift. no, no. i won’t let you do that.”
malachi released his grasp on your cheeks by roughly tossing your head to the side, he worked to unbuckle your belt before slipping your trousers down to your knees. he was seething. you couldn't leave him just yet, not without him seeing your expressions as he's (literally) fucking the life out of you.
your vision swayed as the blood loss eventually made you cease your struggles. the light in your eyes was slowly fading and so was your warmth.
but that didn't stop malachi from getting his entertainment. after pulling down his own trousers, malachi rammed himself into you in one single thrust, leaving you with no preparation as you jolt at the sudden intrusion.
you weakly claw at the male's clothed chest. there was just so much pain, from the bullet wound on your side to the bitemark on your shoulder, and now the size that stretched you out dry. you could feel something warm trickling down your thighs, a a texture you could recognize.
you sobbed quietly as the pain doubled when malachi started to move without giving you the time adjust to his size. the tip of his cock worked its way on your insides, trying to find the spot that would make you melt under him.
his eyes watched as your pained expressions turn into one of hesitance. readjusting himself, malachi sets his pace. he knew that he finally found the right spot when he felt your thigh twitch in his grasp and your walls tighten around his dick. lo and behold, your look of hesitance contorted into a disturbed one as you quickly throw an arm over your face to cover yourself.
a shameful moan escaped your lips as soon as he finally hits the spot that broke it all for you. it wasn't long before you turned into a hot mess under him. your chest rose and fell in a rapid rate as you whimpered and moaned under him.
malachi's free hand roughly removed the arm that covered your slutty expressions. you looked so lewd with his cock inside you, drool spilling from your lips and your eyes rolled back in undeniable pleasure.
now this was the sight he had been longing to see.
the pain from your wound was long gone as intense pleasure eventually replaced it. malachi quickened his pace when he noticed how your cock twitched, indicating that you were near your climax. he wasn't that cruel to deny you of orgasm in your last moments.
or maybe he was.
before the knot in your lower abdomen could come undone, malachi grabbed a hold of his gun and shot you straight in between your eyes, lodging a bullet through your skull and finally putting you to rest.
your warm blood stained his lower abdomen, trickling down to his cock that continued to drive into you who had long went limp under him, your eyes deprived of life.
he gave a few more thrusts before finally spilling his warm seed inside of your ass. his breaths were heavy as he kept his cock buried inside your now freezing and stiff body.
malachi soon pulled out of your corpse, fixing his trousers and standing back up. he sheated his gun back on its holster as he gazed down at your limp body.
he knew he was fucked up, but this was on another level.
he smiled smugly.
maybe you should've picked another job in the first place.
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hispg · 4 months
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Love
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Pairings: Fuckboy! Leon X Fem! Reader
Summary: Maybe he loves everything about you, or maybe he hates you. Yet he always looks for you when he needs you.
That must mean something, right?
Wc:2.6k
Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, p in v, masturbation( m receiving), reverse cowgirl, smoking during sex, mentions of weed and alcohol, slightly praise/degradation, toxic relationship, light angst, finger riding.
An: I should have posted this a few days ago, but recently I've been feeling quite insecure about my writing.Even so, I decided to post it.
Also as a thank you to the 600 followers! Seriously! Last month I had 200, and now I've basically tripled that!I feel very grateful and happy that each and every one of you takes the time to read what I write! Leaving a comment or reblogging, the likes also motivate me a lot! That's very special to me.
If all goes well, tomorrow I'll post 2 pieces of smut, one related to Leon being your childhood friend (more cute and awkward? Idk), and the other will be with breeding kink (🤨). It'll be kind of a thank you to the 600 followers.
Thanks again! 💖💖💕
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He loves the way your body lies on the floor, he loves the way you breathe. The breathless smile you give him every time you've just had sex.
Or even the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, lying completely naked, without a shred of shame.
He may love all this about you, but he doesn't love you. If that makes any sense.
Maybe he's too fucked up to be thinking like that, or maybe he's blaming it on the weed. Even if he was quite lucid.
He already knew he'd be leaving soon, it was always like that. Sex without commitment, just for fun. He insisted on muttering these phrases to himself every time he was with you.
You made him feel so alive that he even forgot that it wasn't supposed to mean anything, it was just another fling.
If it was just one more, why did he keep coming back to you? Why was it that every time he wanted to talk late at night he called you, at the very least it had to mean something. Or maybe it was just a coincidence of fate?
He can't say, to be quite honest. He was probably just thinking too much, maybe he just liked you for the affection you gave him, which frankly he adored.
Maybe he'd fallen under that spell.
"Are you leaving?" You ask in a whisper, offering the same sweet smile as always.
"Soon, doll." He says in a whisper, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.
It seems you've managed to take his mind off his own thoughts, and now he's looking you up and down with a thoughtful expression.
After a few seconds he responds with a nod, taking a cigarette from his pack and lighting it.
Gestures like that weren't common from him, but it was different with you. And frankly, it made your heart flutter every time.
You knew you shouldn't feel anything for him, you always did. But who says the heart obeys reason?
"Can't you sleep here?" You asked in a purr, laying your head on his lap and lightly kissing his thighs.
He sighed, taking a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke away from your face.
"You know I won't." The answer was always the same, he didn't even try to disguise it every time you asked.
It wasn't that he couldn't, it was that he didn't want to. And he wouldn't give in so easily.
Nobody said you couldn't make him have a reason to stay, or that you couldn't induce him to say yes for once.
"Don't look at me like that." He mutters, giving you a weak sideways smile.
He knew that look, he knew all the tricks you played on him. And hell if he said he didn't like every one of the things that you do for him.
You still didn't stop, kissing and kneading his inner thighs, watching him as you did it. Letting him stare into your gentle eyes as you tried to persuade him with your antics.
"You're so fucking dirty…" He says under his breath, taking another drag on his cigarette.
He didn't stop looking at you for a second, his hand coming up to stroke your hair, making it clear that you wanted him to continue, and that you had his permission to do whatever you wanted.
He didn't care, in any case if you questioned him about his softer attitudes, he would just say it was the effect of the weed.
Even if it was just a lie to disguise his pride.
Even if you didn't notice, but his expression was always so gentle with you, even if it wasn't such a lived change, but it was there.
And he couldn't hide it any longer from the moment you nibbled and licked his thighs, making him shudder at the sensation that began to arise in his body. The goosebumps that appeared in his every pore.
"I wanted you to stay…" You say softly, as if it were something just for you.
He even pretended not to hear, but there was no way he couldn't have heard. Your sweet voice echoing so close to him. A plea that perhaps if you asked for more, so slyly, there was a good chance he would give in.
It wasn't long before you were kissing all over his chest, letting your hand rest on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and stroking it with your thumb. You already knew how sensitive he was to certain touches, and you always took advantage of that.
"Doll, you're going to kill me like this…" He murmured, looking at you with another one of his gallant smiles, the one that made you weak in the knees.
"I want to make you happy…" You whispered slyly, running your hands down to his bare midriff.
Your lips found his neck, licking and nibbling, making a point of letting him feel your teeth on his skin.
He couldn't help himself, letting out a soft moan as you had your way with him, it was strangely satisfying that you knew exactly what to do when it came to touching him.
"You do, babydoll, you do." He says softly, reaching down to give your ass a gentle squeeze, as well as a playful slap on your exposed flesh.
You then giggle at him, taking the opportunity to grip the erect base of his cock, giving him wet kisses on his shoulders. You even dared to kiss his nipple piercings, letting your tongue hover on the cold metal, feeling the icy surface on your hot muscle, making you smile against his skin.
Just watching the way he sighed and squirmed against your lips, you could feel your pussy starting to get wet, clit throbbing at the thought of having him with you once again.
His reddened tip was already leaking pre-cum, the liquid sticking to him and your fingers, helping with the impurity of those wet noises.
As soon as you started moving your hand up and down, his grip on your ass became stronger, making you gasp slightly at the act.
You continued with the movements, the wet sounds mixed with low moans and grunts filling your ears.
"You have good hands, don't you?" He said with a smile, sliding his hand down your ass again.
His other hand still held tightly to his cigarette, taking deep puffs, his eyes never leaving yours.
You could feel his body squirming with your touches, his hips moving against your hand for any other kind of friction you could give.
"I bet you're soaking wet, aren't you?" He asks in a cocky way, giving you his usual smug smile.
He knew how turned on you got just by pleasuring him, by having his throbbing cock in your fingers, or even the permission he gave you so that you could pleasure him in any way you wanted.
And then just to make sure he knew what he was talking about, his fingers slid down to the wet surface of your pussy, his fingers playing with your slick, making you moan against his skin.
"Tight little hole wanting attention, isn't it?" He taunts, putting his fingers so deep inside you.
The next thing he saw was you sticking out your tongue, licking the trail of precome dripping from his puffy red tip. The act made him curve his fingers inside you, moving in and out without much effort.
"You're so tasty…" You murmured softly, giving his tip a kiss.
This caused him to smile a little, rubbing his thumb against your clit in a circular motion.
"I want to see you ride, go on, sit down." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
You felt it when he withdrew his fingers from you, resting his hand on the cold floor, just waiting for you to do what he wanted.
And obviously you weren't going to say no.
And you obeyed like a good girl, sitting on his hand as you felt his fingers sinking into you.
"Ah- Shit…" You murmured, feeling your thighs twitch a little as you moved up and down.
He knew your weak points so well that it made you angry, he knew how to make you shudder with just his fingers.
"Such a beautiful little thing, fucking perfect." He grunted, playing with one of your nipples. Rolling and sliding between his fingers, squeezing and pinching.
All this so he could see you moaning and rolling your eyes as you rode his fingers.
You were so beautiful, the way you let yourself be so exposed to him, the way you trusted him with your eyes closed. That should be worrying, but he found it so exciting.
Your breasts jiggling as you moved up and down on his fingers, making a mess of his hand, which by the way was already honeyed with your juices.
"Hmh-, so good," You moaned, leaning on the floor for support as Leon watched your every move.
You moaned and whimpered his name, biting your lip as you stared at his erect member. God, he knew you were dying for him to make you deep-throat him, and don't get him wrong, he wanted it just as much as you did.
Just the thought of his cock buried in your tight throat was more than enough to make his cock throb and twitch, he could feel his blood pulsing to his lower body.
But now, now he wanted you. He wanted to watch as you rode him, as you moaned and begged him to curl his fingers and reach your sweet spots with every movement.
He didn't waste much time and pulled you close to him, sliding his free hand to the back of your neck, pulling you into a hot kiss.
His mouth meeting yours, the way you kissed him so eagerly and sloppily was enough to make him moan and grunt against your lips, his fingers moving in sync with your bouncing.
Your spongy, wet walls pulled him in, accommodating his fingers, you were so wet that he had no trouble sliding in and out of you.
He could do this all day, watch you moaning and whimpering his name, pulling your lips together to try and suppress the dirty noises coming out of you.
And it didn't work at all.
His smile only widened when he heard you whimpering loudly, biting your lip as you rolled your eyes, your orgasm washing over you as you drowned in that pleasure.
"Good girl. Good girl." He whispers, watching as you cream in his fists, your sweet furrow dripping through his fingers.
"Fuck…Oh…" You murmur, stopping your movements, but he hasn't stopped fisting you for a minute.
His skillful fingers caressing your spongy walls, making you look at him slyly.
"Leon… It's too much…" You cry out, pouting at him.
All he does is look at you with amusement in his eyes, leaning down to kiss your nipple, giving your sensitive part a gentle nibble.
"I hope you still have enough breath to give me a good ride." He says with a provocative and seductive tone, smiling cheekily at you.
And well, how can you deny him that? How can you say no when he looks at you like that?
You were incapable of denying such a good proposition.
"Yes… You know I will…" You say slyly, watching as he takes his fingers out of you.
He soon adjusted himself on the floor, spreading his legs and leaving room for you to sit on top of him.
Without any shame, he fisted his own cock, looking at you and biting his lip. His veins pulsed in his cock, which by then was begging for some attention.
The sight was enough to make your cunt throb, your body burning and aching, clamoring for him. And it wouldn't take you long to do what he wanted.
And once again he watched, saw you sit on his lap, your back turned to him as you gave him a view of your plump ass, making him salivate at the sight.
With one hand he held the cigarette, and with the other he instinctively placed it on your hips, kneading the soft skin. He watched as your tight pussy swallowed him, slowly, centimeter by centimeter. Sinking into his lap until he had it all at once.
He watched his cock disappear into your wet folds, and felt when your warmth enveloped him in such a sweet way.
"Fuck, you take me so well doll." Leon grunted, pressing his fingers into the softness of your hips.
"Hm - I'm so full…" You moaned, holding onto his knees as you began to grind slowly.
He smiled sideways, taking one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it on the floor, turning his full attention to you.
The next thing you felt was a warm slap on your ass cheeks, making you swallow and let out a whimper, understanding that he was asking you to increase the pace.
"Good girl." He purred, holding both your cheeks as he just sat there and felt you bounce on his cock.
The view was almost divine, your ass completely on display. He was lost in it, so lost that he could only focus on your moans, on the way you swallowed him completely, his cock appearing and disappearing with every bounce you made.
And there he went, losing all sense and just following the primal instinct to just fuck you, as if it were the last time. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he thrust.
"Leon- mhmm-," You even try to babble, but nothing but incoherent phrases come out of your lips.
Your pussy was so full, so stuffed, that you couldn't even breathe. You'd forgotten how deep he could get into you, how well he could fuck you if he wanted to.
His grunts mixed with your moans filled the room, nothing more than your voices amid the dirty sound of bodies slamming against each other, clashing violently.
If Leon was being honest, he never controlled himself with you, was never able to hold back when it came to you.
His cock twitching as he felt you tighten around him, he grunted so loudly in frustration, he almost couldn't hold back his load.
"I'm going to come inside, you hear?" He says, he wasn't really asking, just warning you what he was going to do.
"Please," You manage to let out a sly little cry, feeling him slap your ass, another one of his requests.
He wanted you to go faster, and you could never deny him that.
Your hips rolling up and down, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you called his name, you even felt that sensation in the pit of your stomach.
Your bodies covered in sweat, heavy breaths coming out in gasps, neither of you could even speak a single word.
You couldn't hold it in any longer, your orgasm flooded you once again, your fluids gushing out, your walls squeezing his length.
And that was the last straw for him, with a loud grunt and a swear word you couldn't identify, he came, thick ropes of cum painting your walls.
Leon just gave you a playful smack on the ass, appreciating you for what you had given him.He knew it had been stupid to cum inside, but he couldn't help himself.
Now all that was left was to wait, he was just waiting until you fell asleep, while you swore that this time it would be different, or that this time he would have some kind of feeling.
But you were dead wrong.
And then he would leave again, break you into a thousand pieces without even looking back.
But then, he would come into your arms, to glue each broken piece together, only to break it again later.
After all, isn't that what love is all about?
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carakook · 2 months
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Bloom. °˖✧✿✧˖°
"You didn't seem to think so ten minutes ago when I was fucking your pretty little brains out, or any of the other times for that matter. What's with the change of heart? You suddenly feel guilty?"
→ Chapters list ←
⚘Intro
⚘1. Wilt.
🔞For Mature Audiences Only🔞
╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╗
⚘Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader
⚘Synopsis: Y/N realizes tonight that she can no longer handle the guilt. She wants things with Jungkook that seem impossible given their situation. As much as it hurts, this will be the last time she sleeps with Jungkook… that’s what she thinks, anyway.
⚘Genre:Forbidden love
⚘Word count: 5K+
⚘Warnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, rough sex, mentions of hate sex (but not actual hate sex), emotional, mentions of cheating, arguing (sort of), sad Jungkook (def needs a warning no one wants JK sad), ass slapping, hair pulling, jealousy, breakup (sort of?), let me know if I missed anything.
⚘Disclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story.
⚘A/N:Chapter one is out! Starts off a bit emotional right off the bat lol but I hope you enjoy it. Can’t wait to release more chapters! Thank you for reading. 🥰
╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :
♪ Stuck with Me - The Neighborhood
♪ Eyes Don’t Lie - Isabel LaRosa
♪ Run - Joji
✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧
Bliss.
That's what you feel when you're with him. For example, right now. Pure bliss.
The bliss is enough to make you forget about the guilt. The shame. The absolute sin that you're both committing.
He grunts out as he stalls his movements, "Fuck, baby, I need you to be still, I wanna take my time. Gonna cum too fast if you keep doing that."
This pleases you, so you slowly push yourself into him. He has you laying on your stomach with your ass perched up, face smooshed into his pillow, his favorite position. He loves the view. He loves your ass. He loves your body and how, in moments like this, it's his and only his.
As you push into him, you wiggle a little bit, regardless of how much your legs shake from the sensation. He's deep. So deep. Deeper than any other guy has ever been able to get.
He throws his head back, eyes rolling back with it, and he grunts almost as if he's in pain as his entire body tenses. He's close. You can feel him twitching. You can't help but let out a little laugh, pleased with yourself.
Oh, but he doesn't like that very much.
He grabs the back of your neck forcefully, leaning himself onto you, and pressing his back firmly against your own. He tilts your head so that his lips are touching your ear, and he grunts again as he buries himself even deeper into you, which seems impossible.
"If you wanted me to fuck you like I hate you, you could've just asked."
Without even giving you a moment to respond, he pushes your face into the pillow, muffling any noise that you make. He slams into you forcefully, so hard that the headboard of his bed slams into the wall. He keeps his hand on your head, ensuring that you don't move. He doesn't relent, as he slams himself into you at such a fast pace, that your entire body is vibrating. He's never fucked you like this before. And you love it.
You couldn't make a sound even if you wanted to, you're left speechless.
It doesn't take him long to come undone, and you don't mind, because he already made you cum three times. You're sure that you've been going at it for nearly two hours now, a mixture of heated kissing, grinding, and teasing. He fingered you and gave you head, and you had already came once around his cock, so you think that he's earned it.
He empties inside of you, painting your walls white as hot ropes of cum shoot into you. The feeling is unlike any other. Even if he isn't yours, it feels like he is at this very moment. And you're his too. You always have been.
The twitching dies down, and he lays himself on top of you gently, making sure to pepper the back of your neck with soft kisses.
He lays there for a moment, catching his breath, as you do the same. Despite being sober, a drunken smile crosses his face, his dimples on show. One of the things you love most about him.
You, on the other hand, come down from your high fairly quickly. The moment he disconnects himself from you is when reality hits you every time.
The guilt surfaces.
You've never not felt guilty about what you're both doing.
Recently, however, it's been prominent. Too prominent. At first, you were easily able to shoo the guilt away. It all started so easily, and things just happened, before you even knew what situation you were putting yourself in.
Once you found out that he was married, it ate you alive, but it never stopped you. Because you're selfish and shameless. You love him. And sometimes, love is a hell of a drug, causing you to do stupid things.
You grew to love him a bit too quickly, at first it was just fun, but all it took was a bouquet of roses and his concerned face the day after he went a bit too rough on you in the bedroom, for you to fall in love with him.
You didn't mind him being rough. It was the first time a man had ever handled you in such a way, and you fucking loved it.
But Jungkook is an overthinker.
After you were done that night, he saw the tears staining your face. You assured him they weren't sad tears, you couldn't even control them, you had just experienced such sensations that overwhelmed your brain and your body, crying and cumming seemed to have been the release of those sensations.
He showed up with those roses and puppy dog eyes, totally out of the blue, he hadn't even texted you before arriving. He was so concerned. He himself looked as if he might cry, and you couldn't help but think it was too cute.
He hugged you so tightly that you'd think he was afraid you were gonna float away. He apologized profusely and said that he couldn't get your tears out of his head after he left. He felt terrible, no matter how much you reassured him. He even had a nightmare about it.
It took an entire hour of him sitting on your couch to convince him that you were, in fact, ok, and had never felt better. Although embarrassing to admit, you explained to him that you've never felt more pleasure out of anything. And you want him to do it again. He finally gave in and accepted your explanation, but still apologized once more.
That night you didn't sleep together. It was the first time you guys had hung out without having sex. You watched movies, ate junk food, and talked about stupid shit all night long.
That's when you realized you loved him. And you were fucked.
You blame it on your fucked up brain. Daddy issues. Abandonment issues. Attachment issues. Girly things.
You shouldn't love this man. You shouldn't even like him. You'd think finding out he was married would have been enough to get you to run the fuck away from him.
But it didn't.
You loved him so desperately that you decided to live with it. Pretended that it was ok. Because when you were with him, it was oh so easy to forget.
The moment that he left though, that's when it ate you alive.
Especially recently.
Your visits used to be sporadic, spontaneous even. No more than once every week, usually two. It was easy to push it away after the first few days of being without him again. Then you started craving him, causing all of the guilt and coherent thought to completely leave, or hide maybe, which would make it easier to give in to your selfish desires.
Recently, though, he's been an animal. Wanting to see you constantly. Several times a week. As if he was addicted.
You didn't complain at first. You were able to replace the guilt with pride, loving the fact that he wanted you that badly. He was willing to make whatever excuses he did to come and see you.
But it has proven to make the guilt worse.
You find yourself awake at night, wondering what excuse he gave his wife, whether or not she's becoming suspicious of his sudden and often absence. If it were you, it'd be clear that something wasn't quite right. Then again, you don't know how good of a liar Jungkook really is or isn't, because you never ask these questions.
This leads your thoughts to a dark place, wondering if she even loves him like you do, does she take care of him like you do, does she kiss him like you do, does she touch him like you do, does he think about you when he's inside of her...
Jealousy plagues you when you have no right to be jealous. He isn't yours. The ring on his finger signifies the fact that he belongs to someone else.
You feel bitter, towards a woman that you don't even know.
You've never seen pictures of her, you've never asked about her, you don't even know her name. You don't know what kind of life she lives. If she's happy. Yet, you still wish nothing more than to be her.
Love. It's fucked up. Especially when you fall in love with someone out of reach.
Since he has made his frequent visits a habit, you've been slowly becoming comfortable with the idea of calling things off. You love him. You do. But you know that he will never be yours, and although he so often proclaims his love for you, you just can't believe him. If he loved you, you wouldn't be his dirty little secret.
Dirty. That's how you feel.
So, you made a vow to yourself before coming to his second apartment (the one that's so kindly reserved for your secret encounters), that it'll be the last time.
Comforting, in a way, that you'll be able to leave the guilt of what you're doing behind. Or you hope so anyway.
Yet, the dread that you feel from the fact that this means he'll no longer be in your life, makes you feel almost as if your heart will explode into tiny little pieces and result in your ultimate demise.
Death would be easier.
He has no idea about the thoughts going through your head right now. He's still coming down from his high, looking as if he's never felt happier. He has no idea of the bomb you're about to drop on him, and you're entirely terrified of what his reaction may be. Will he care? Will he freak out? Will he fight for you?
As if he can read your thoughts, he looks at you with concerned eyes, moving your hair out of your face as he moves to lay next to you, instead of on top of you.
"Was I too rough?"
You smile sadly at him, "No. No such thing."
He smiles so innocently at you as if he didn't just almost break the bed fucking you into oblivion.
His smile quickly fades as he sees the frown on your face that you so desperately tried to contain.
"Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me."
You glance at him, biting your lip nervously, trying to figure out how to bring this up. How to end it.
Yet, you can't help yourself. There are so many questions in your head, questions that you have no business to ask. But still, you're curious, and you blurt out before even giving it a second thought, "What have you been telling her? Since we've been seeing each other so often."
This catches him off guard, the hand that was cradling your face so tenderly as you let yourself get lost in your head, suddenly tenses. He slowly pulls it away and turns his body so that he's lying on his back, now staring at the ceiling. Avoiding looking at you.
His guard is up.
"Told her I have some projects at work that require extra attention. Why?"
He still doesn't look at you. Your heart crumbles.
"Don't you feel... guilty?"
He sighs and closes his eyes, purses his lips, and lets out a deep breathe that sounds labored. He props himself up on his elbow and looks down at you, his gaze remains loving, but guarded.
"What's with the questions?"
You blink at him, now you're the one who's caught off guard by his cold response. He feels guilty. Behind that tiny spec of love in his eyes, is nothing but guilt. And now worry.
He thinks you're gonna tell her.
You quickly shut down those thoughts, "Stop overthinking Kook. I'm not gonna say anything. This is a secret for me too, you know. I'd never wanna out myself as someone's fucking mistress."
You can't hide your irritation at his distrust. You don't blame him, but also, you aren't the only one in the wrong here. It takes two to commit this type of sin. He isn't innocent. And you hate knowing that all you'll ever be is his secret. A secret that he'll never cherish enough to tell or share with someone.
He furrows his brows, suddenly looking angry, "Mistress? What the fuck?"
You glance at him and scoff, "That's what I am, right? I'm your mistress. Side piece. Sneaky link. Take your pick, Jeon."
That pisses him off even further. He hates it when you refer to him as Jeon. As if you're his business partner. It feels cold. It feels wrong. He's always been Kook, Kookie, and sometimes even Koo when you can't fully get his name out while he's railing you. Jeon is reserved for impersonal encounters. Or frustration, in this situation.
He looks at you as if you've slapped him in the face, becoming animated in his frustration as he speaks, his eyebrows scrunch up as he speaks, and he sounds a bit whiny, "You aren't my mistress, don't ever call yourself that again. I love you. Fuck."
This earns him another scoff, more like a laugh, "Ha!" Is the sound that you let out, and he glares at you even further. He's nearly pouting at this point, and it takes all of your self-control not to smoosh his cheeks and kiss his face all over. It pisses you off that he can be so cute when you are feeling like such shit. You channel that anger into the problem at hand.
Your guard is up too. The mention of love will quickly bring the walls up, separating you two from each other.
"Love me? You don't love me."
He shakes his head, almost as if he's certain he heard you incorrectly. His eyes blink rapidly, and he stares at the wall with a pout on his face, thinking to himself, "Surely she didn't just say that?" It takes a few moments of him looking at you like a lost puppy for him to respond.
"Where is this coming from Y/N?"
"Do you love her too?"
You don't want to hear the answer. But you know that you need to.
His tongue darts out of his mouth, licking his bottom lip before he bites it. A clear sign of nervousness. He's overthinking. Considering his words carefully.
He sighs before he responds, tilting his head to one side as if it'll help him understand your sudden cold mood, "Can you explain to me what the sudden change is? I don't understand why you're asking these kinds of questions all of a sudden."
He avoided the question.
Your anger rises.
"Would you leave her for me?"
You make sure to look him directly in his eyes, wanting to relay how absolutely serious you're being. You won't back down. You feel that you selfishly deserve answers after everything. Even if you're guilty.
"Y/N, you know that's not an easy question. I can't just leave my wife. I've built a life with her. Shit isn't easy."
Not a straight answer, but it is a straight punch in the gut.
The hurt disguised as anger reaches the surface, overflowing, leaking into every crack of your being.
Enough.
You hastily get off of the bed, picking up pieces of your clothes to quickly dress yourself. You feel too vulnerable. You want to hide. You need to cover yourself in some way.
"Y/N, what is happening? Talk to me please."
You don't answer. He's looking at you as if he's silently panicking. As if his entire world is about to come crashing down, and he's having to watch. He doesn't know what to do. And he can feel what's coming. What you promised yourself would happen tonight.
"I want to stop this, Jungkook."
He stills. As if he's becoming a statue. One look at him, and you second guess whether or not you're Medusa, and fear that he may soon crumble into dust.
"Why?" He nearly whispers, and his voice cracks, and oh fuck, it takes everything in you to not run over and cradle him as if he's a baby. Your baby.
But he isn't. That's the problem here.
"Because, Kook, I can't live with the guilt. I can't live with being someone's mistress. I want to get married too, at some point. I need to move on and live my life, stay open for whoever is gonna make me theirs one day."
You didn't just punch him in the gut, you took a dagger and dug it into his heart, twisted it around, and left it there. He's hurt. So hurt. He wishes that you were Medusa because then he could crumble into dust instead of having to watch you walk out of his life for good. Instead of having to endure the consequences of his mistake. A mistake that he, himself, would never ever call a mistake. Maybe a tragedy, or a twist of fate, but never a mistake.
But he's like you and disguises it with anger. It's easier that way.
"You fucking serious? What do you not understand about the fact that you're not my mistress? I love you, Y/N."
As you button up your jeans, you notice that he's now standing. He's perched himself against the dresser, staring at you with an intensity that makes you nearly uncomfortable. As if he can see into the depths of your very soul. Something you do not want right now.
"No, Jungkook, you do not love me. If you loved me, things would be different. You're married, for fucks sake, and all of this is so wrong."
Jungkook is a sweetheart. Always has been. Despite his rough hands in the bedroom, never once has he not been gentle with you, even when you're snarky with him. But one thing about him is that he's petty. He can be immature when he's provoked. When he feels hurt or rejected. Like a big man-child, he acts out.
"You didn't seem to think so ten minutes ago when I was fucking your pretty little brains out, or any of the other times for that matter. What's with the change of heart? You suddenly feel guilty?"
You snap.
"I've always fucking felt guilty Jungkook! Always! It eats me alive. I can't continue doing this knowing that you're not only married but will never love me the same way that I love you. It's going to ruin me. I need to get on with my life."
He's closer now, as you button up your blouse. You ignore him. You can't bear to look at him. You want to get this over with.
"Y/N, please look at me."
He says it almost as if it's a plea for forgiveness. As if he's begging. So soft that he's nearly whispering. He regrets his outburst, not even a minute after it happened. He's too sweet. He has too big of a heart. A heart that is not yours.
But you don't look at him. You can't. You can't risk the fact that one look at him may just change your mind.
"Look. At. Me."
No longer a beg, now a demand. But you still don't look at him. He probably assumes you're being stubborn, but in reality, you're fucking scared to look at him right now. He makes you so damn weak.
You start to bend down to grab your shoes, but he grabs your arm, forcing you to face him. His touch is firm, urging you to comply, but still gentle. And when you still don't look at him, he grabs your chin in the same way, firm yet gentle, forcing you to look at him.
Don't back down.
"I love you."
But then you see it. As you look into his eyes, it mirrors your own. He loves you just as much as you love him. Eyes don’t lie. It's clear as day. Yet, all logic in your brain tells you that he's lying. How can he possibly love you when this is your relationship? Regardless of the time you spend together after the sex, you wonder if he'd even come around if sex wasn't involved.
So you push him away.
You yank your chin out of his grasp. And you spit out, "You have no idea what love is. You fuck someone else behind your wife's back. That's not love. Not for either of us. You're selfish."
You've once again hurt him. You continue taking that dagger that you left in his heart, stabbing it over and over again. Yet, no matter how many times you defile his heart, it is still beating for you.
He didn't expect this sort of reaction out of you. He didn't know what to expect, actually. He hoped that his words, and the sincerity in his gaze, would convince you. Even if you did leave. He didn't want you to leave thinking that you were no more than a good fuck to him. Because even if you don't know, you're so much more, and he has no idea how to explain it.
What you said really hurt him. He, himself, doesn't quite understand why he's put himself in this situation. He does love his wife. Or he thought that he did. Ever since you came along, he isn't so sure.
Jungkook has never cheated on anyone, even in his younger and more irresponsible days. Loyalty was always important to him. He'd rather break his partner's heart by leaving them than break their heart by cheating and making them feel as if they're not enough. Although that's exactly what he's doing with you.
He's a great liar. Something that you've always wondered about. So great that his wife is none the wiser… or maybe she just doesn’t care enough to notice.
Ever since he met you, something blossomed inside of him. It's as if there was a seed planted in his heart, all of the women that he had ever been with nurtured it and tried to get it to grow. Some did the opposite, causing it to get buried deeper inside of him and stay stagnant. But, as soon as you came along, it sprouted. A tiny leaf. A new feeling. Slowly, as you spent time together, regardless of how impure what you did was, this leaf bloomed into a beautiful flower. The petals are decorated in the various shades of you. Claiming his heart in a way that you aren't even aware of.
Not even his wife could do that.
And he's married to her. He has been for two years now. He's been in a relationship with her for four. They met freshman year of college, and the rest was history. He assumed that would be the end of it. His happily ever after.
But, he never bloomed. He didn't even know that he could bloom. Didn't know that he needed to bloom. He just thought his wife was it for him.
Until he met you.
He doesn't want to let you go, but he doesn't exactly know how to keep you either. There are options, there are always options. But none are viable. None give him a clear conscience, and regardless of how eagerly you asked him earlier, he knows that if he did leave his wife for you, you would feel guilty the entirety of your relationship. There is no good ending for you two. Every single option ends in you two living with guilt for the rest of your lives. Which ultimately would end in the downfall of you both. Chaos. Disaster. Two worlds colliding that shouldn't have to begin with. The end of the fucking world.
He doesn't want that, no matter how tempting the thought of leaving his wife is. No matter how tempting being with you forever sounds. No matter how tempting the idea of being the one to marry you one day sounds. He doesn't want you to have to live with the guilt of his own selfish decisions. He just wants you to bloom.
His wife isn't perfect. In fact, she's kind of a bitch. But he's always been able to handle her. She grew up rich, privileged, and a bit stuck up. Jungkook had an average childhood and was a bit of a delinquent in his teenage years. She clung on to the bad boy in him. Yet, she still treats him as if he's a child.
He was ok with this, didn't mind it at all… until he met you. You cared for him in a way that she never did. Regardless of this little secret being built upon a foundation of lust and infidelity, you treated him as if he were your husband instead. You cooked for him, you took care of him whenever he was drunk or hungover, you checked on him if you felt something was wrong, and you did so many little things to show him how much you cared.
He remembered the time when he was so stressed at work that he gained a few pimples. He never got pimples. Regardless of how beautiful he is, he’s still human. He gets insecure. You hated that he didn't feel beautiful.
So, you invited him over that morning before he went to work. It was unlike you. You usually save your unholy acts for the dark. So he expected that you just missed his touch.
However, when he arrived early that morning, you did no such thing. You greeted him with a big breakfast composed of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and strawberry syrup that you homemade. Something that his wife never did. She never cooked, always ordered takeout, or nagged him to cook.
After the breakfast, which was filled with innocent conversation and banter, you took him to your bathroom. You knew that his pimples were bothering him. He texted you a selfie of it the night before, followed by "I look like a fucking teenage boy :(" Something so human, so natural, caused him to doubt himself in so many ways. He held himself to such a high standard that something as simple as an inevitable stress-induced pimple made him feel less than worthy.
So, after he became stubborn and told you that he didn't want you to touch or look at them, you reassured him to trust you. And he did. So easily. You decorated his pimples with tiny little star patches, patches that you reserved for yourself and your really bad days because they were expensive as fuck on your tight budget, but he was more than worth it. He was hesitant, as he saw what you were doing. But then he looked in the mirror, and he didn't even see the pimples, he didn't even care about the girly and childish stars covering his chin and temple. He saw you, and the way you lit up as you saw him.
Inevitably, the morning ended with you two having a quickie. But it wasn't lust-filled as usual. It was something more. Something sweet.
He arrived at work no longer feeling insecure. He kept the stars on his face, regardless of how goofy they felt, they were a reminder of you. How you saw him, how you wanted to reassure him, how you wanted to protect him. Even from himself.
He had such a good day at work that day. Although, as soon as he got home and his wife saw the stars, she scolded him. Told him that they weren't manly. They made him look ridiculous and childish. Made him take them off. But it didn't matter, because the flower had bloomed fully that day.
He wanted your flower to bloom.
He wanted to make your flower bloom.
But he knew that he couldn't exactly do that when he was married. Unlike you, his flower, the one claimed by you, was surrounded by a fence. A fence composed of his wife.
Maybe a cage is more accurate.
He knew that your flower would never fully bloom as long as that cage was in place.
He knew that he needed to let you go, for your flower to bloom, no matter how much it hurt him.
So, he did. Or he tried to anyway.
He cleared his throat, fighting his tears. There were some truths behind your words, but the one prominent lie is the fact that you think he doesn't love you. He does. But he'll never convince you with the nature of your relationship.
"I... I understand. You're right. We should stop."
Your heart cracked. Your flower wilted.
He didn't deny it. He didn't fight. And a part of you was expecting him to. But you know how selfish and naive that is.
You say nothing. You grab your purse after putting on your shoes. You head for the door and hesitate as you feel his sad eyes boring into the back of your head.
You don't look at him, but you quietly bid your goodbye.
"Goodbye Jungkook. Take care of yourself... love your wife more."
And you walk. Nearly run. Desperate to escape the suffocating smell of his apartment.
He follows you but says nothing. He stops as you reach the front door. But he doesn't stop you.
Quickly, you open his front door and slam it shut, and then you freeze. You don't know why you linger, but you do. Possibly waiting for him to rush out, profess his love to you, and offer to leave his wife so that you can live happily ever after. Hope, that you have no right to hang on to.
Instead, you're greeted with a few seconds of silence. And then a bang. And then a crash. And then a scream. He's losing it. And you know you've lost him. He won't fight. He won't beg you to be his. He's lashing out because he knows that he can't.
So you take a deep breath, and you walk away. Feeling numb. Feeling alone. Feeling empty.
Dirty.
✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧
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lovifie · 2 months
Text
Lift Me Off My Feet
Chapter 6: Boundaries
Masterlist
Original Thought - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12
W: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, a bit of angst before the nasties ❤️
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The good thing about the three of you doing the walk of shame together is that at least you are not the one who got it worse. Price is walking like he just came of the confessional, not a sin committed in his life; you look like you should, like you just got fucked nicely but nothing a couple of minutes laying down can't help you disguise and Gaz… poor Gaz look a bit destroyed, but he carries himself with a certain attitude that makes you think: “Good for him.” and it helps him look confident if it wasn't for a weak limp as he walks. And if you are able to tell, you are sure the rest of them can as well.
“Pay up, Johnny.” Ghost says extending his hand to Soap as they sit on the sofa. 
“Fuckin’ he'll, Gaz.” Soap answers, taking his wallet from his back pocket and dropping a £20 on Ghost's hands. 
“You made a bet?” You ask curious sitting on the floor getting your legs under the table, Ghost and Soap are sitting on the sofa, Price sits down on the armchair and Gaz sits on the armrest of the sofa.
“Yeah, about who would break the truce first.” Soap explains and turns to look at Gaz. “I thought you were stronger than this, mate.”
“What truce?” You ask, sending Ghost a quick glance to ask him to play along. He doesn't say anything. 
A beat of silence goes around the room, everyone expecting the other to talk. It is Price that breaks it clearing his throat. “Right, I'll explain it. We talked about you, about how we have been treating you and about how it shouldn't have happened.” 
Your stomach turns at the confession, and a voice screams in your head: “I told you, idiot! Giving yourself like a whore on sale! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!” You hide your hands between your thighs to hide the shaking and swallow the spit pooling in your mouth. 
“Not like that.” A warm hand on the top of your head brings you back. “Try again, Captain. So many ways to phrase it, and you choose the worst.” Ghost says 
Price rubs a hand against his face, exasperated with himself. “What I meant was… that we don't regret what we have done, we regret the way we have done it. Yeah?”
And it reaches your ears, but it doesn't get to your brain. Since the whole ordeal began, the cruel voice in your head that doesn't let you enjoy things has been scratching the walls of your head to try and make you focus on her and let her plant the seed of self-doubt in you. But you pushed her back, and the kisses and caressing of the men in front of you helped greatly. It was like seeing a shadow from the corner of your eyes, but when you turn your head it disappears; but now, hearing from Price that it shouldn't have happened, even if he was just a poor choice of words, it has made you turn your head to your shadow but this time it hasn't disappeared. Instead, it's looking at you and laughing at your face for being stupid. 
“You alright, birdie?” Ghost brushes your hair behind your ear, keeping his hand cupping your jaw and turning your face to look at him. Concern floods his eyes, eyebrows furrowed, but doesn't push it when you nod at him. 
“What we wanted to do, was do the things that we should have done before we got freaky.” Soaps continue. “Go on dates, expend time together… get to know ye. Those things.”
It only fuels your confusion. “What?” You ask looking at Price. “Dates?”
“You… you don't want to?” He asks mirroring your confusion.
“Do I have a say?” You ask, genially confused. And to you, you mean it as in “Do I have the power to choose between offers? Do I have the power to ask for you? Do I deserve more than crumbs of attention and respect?” But to them, it sounds like: “Do I have that power?”, you know, as if you haven’t gotten under their skin and you couldn't move them like puppets at your will and want. 
“I don't understand.” You mumble rubbing your face, eyes burning with tears.
“What it is?” Gaz asks sitting straight, focusing on you. 
“Why?!” You ask a bit louder that wanted. “Why me? Why do you care about me? Because I can understand that I threw myself at you and to never look a gift horse in the mouth, but what I can’t understand is why you would go out of our fucking lane to worry about the fucking shitty horse!”
The tears are flowing freely down your face by now, and you realise that they are all looking at you with expressions you can't read. You have cried in front of them before, but it was out of fear for your life, you are fine with that. But letting them see you cry because you are an idiot that caught feelings? Nah, that's too much. “I'm sorry, I… I need a moment.” You stand up, managing to get out without any of them catching your hand and lock yourself in the bathroom, in the little space between the sink and the bathtub. 
You cry your feelings out, wanting to just dry yourself out before going out, but Ghost beats you to it and knocks on the door. “Can I come in, birdie?”
“The lock doesn't work.” You mumble between sobs.
“I know, that's why I'm asking.” He says, he cracks the door open slowly and sticks his head in looking at you. “Can I come in?”
You nod, and he enters closing the door behind him. He lifts you up from your hands making you whine like a child, sits down where you were and sits you on his lap. “You got a thing for tiny spaces.” 
The TONK sound of Ghost hitting his head on the sink following the curse words makes you chuckle at the ridicule of the situation. Ghost finally settles down, and he cups your face making you lay your head on his chest. 
“What has you so upset, birdie? What is making you so sad?” He asks, the rumble of his voice travelling through your body.
You shrug your shoulders. “I just don't get it… why me?”
“I don't know, birdie… you just are.” He says caressing your face. “I can't explain it, it's just… you. We have been trained and forced to be methodical, use logic, don't get carried away by emotions, years and years of training. And now you are here, and we don't know how to act.”
You bury your face in his chest, taking in the new information, but without interrupting him. “When we entered your flat, Price saw the chair on the balcony and he almost jumped head first just to check if you were on the ground. Gaz has gone against Price's direct orders, and trust me, Gaz would rather cut his own arm than go against Price… Birdie, I'm not going to call it love and act like I know how that works. But don't bury the corpse without killing it first.”
You look up to him, and find him already looking down at you. He gives you a kiss on your forehead through the mask and asks: “Give us a chance, birdie. Please. We are all adults, we'll talk about it. Set bases and rules so everyone is happy and comfortable. But you need to let us try. Only once, birdie. That's all we need.”
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Simon's words enter your head, finding the idiot voice that lives inside and slapping her across the face. After a while, you no longer have the need to cry, and even though you are elated by Ghost's comfort, it is not fair to the three men seating in the living room.
You stand up first, Ghost's hand on your back. You grab his hand to help him stand and put the other hand on the edge of the sink so he doesn't hit it again, earning yourself a chuckle from him. 
Soap is the first to see you, sitting with Gaz on the sofa. Price is still in the armchair, smoking a cigar. You walk up to him, picking the cigar from his hand and letting it down on the ashtray. You sit on the armrest of the chair, putting your deets on his lap and your hands between your thighs. 
He looks up to you almost holding your breath, like the next thing that you will say could seal or break the deal. “You don't regret meeting me, right, John?”
His face twitches, as if you had just slapped him across the face, and he quickly shakes his head bringing his arm up around you to move you to his lap keeping you close. “No, dear, no. I could never regret meeting you, I'm sorry I said it like that, I promise I'm not usually such a muppet.” 
“I wanna give it a try.” You say and look up to him. “But I'm scared.”
“You don't need to be, what's scaring you?” He ask looking at your face.
“You don't know me… what if once you get to know me, you don't like what you learn? If you get bored? Or disgusted…” You mumble, talking more and more softly as you bury your face on his neck.
“Now you are just talking nonsense, love.” Price says, cupping your face and peeling your face away from his neck. “And you are thinking too highly of us, what if you are the one who doesn't like us?”
“That's not-” You begin to say, ready to argue that it is not possible to not like them, that they look like they have come out of a firefighter calendar, that they have been nothing but kind and caring with you, that if you found something about them you didn't like it would most likely to bother you enough to break away. But you look at his face, and he has this know-it-all expression that quiets you up. 
“Exactly, love.” He says and lets you hide your face again. You sigh, tired of your feelings and start to stand up. “I'm gonna have a shower.”
“Wait!” Soap says standing up quickly and sprinting to the kitchen, coming back out with different kinds of shampoo and body skin care products. “How about a bath? A bubble bath?” He asks, happy to cheer you up and to have an excuse to mess around with the different liquid. 
You nod quickly smiling widely and watch him run to the bath. Price calls your attention with a tap on your lower back and explains: “Gaz and I need to go back to base, Ghost and Soap will stay with you tonight, that's fine with you?”
You nod again, saying goodbye to both of them, feeling too awkward to hug them because of the newly exposed feeling even if just an hour ago they were balls deep inside you. You run to the bathroom when Soap calls your name.
“Quickly, bonnie. Get in before it goes cold.” He says, satisfied with the sweet smell and bubbly water. “Do you need anything else?”
“Actually, can you lend me some more clothes? I'm pretty sure I have run out of clean clothes and underwear.” You admit, looking a bit ashamed.
“Sure, I'll bring ye some of mine. I'm sure ye'll fill in my knickers just fine with that fine arse of yers.” He mumbles in your ears, earning himself a slap on his biceps as he exits the bathroom to pick up the clothes. He drops them by a little later and lets you to enjoy your bath.
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The bath truly helps you relax, of the tightness in your muscles and of the exhausting feelings in your head. It also leaves you room to think about them, to rationalize them. Simon is right, you cannot say no just because you are scared it may not work out in the end, not without trying first.
After some time, the water starts to get cold, so you drain the tub and grab the towel to dry yourself. You look at the clothes that Soap lend you, and realise he only left his briefs and a t-shirt; cheeky bastard. 
As you open the door, the smell of food floats around the whole house and it makes your stomach rumble. Ghost and Soap must be making dinner. So you walk down the hall, entering the kitchen without thinking.
And part of you blames you for it, but another part is really glad you didn't.
Johnny is on his knees, in front of Ghost, getting his mouth fucked by the late one. The wet sounds of Johnny gagging around Ghost’s dick as it hits the back of his throat almost hide the sound of your steps, but not good enough fot Ghost.
“Hi, Birdie.” He groans, caressing Johnny head in such a tender way it clashes with the filthy image. “Are you hungry? Johnny here couldn't wait for dinner.”
“I can see…” You mumble back looking at Soap, unable to peel you away. You are glad you just got out of the tub, being able to attribute your blush to the heat of the bathroom. Still, no bath can explain the way you clench your thighs together, and Ghost chuckles when he notices.
“C’mere, birdie.” He instructs, extending his hand to you. You grab it, feeling him pull you close; his hand moves to your waist, cupping your face with the other. “I really want to kiss you right now, pretty bird”
And you know what he is asking for, to break the truce; because if you initiate it, he is technically not breaking it. And it is cruel, especially to Price that you know is going to be the last one to break it, but right now, with Ghost mask up to his nose and Johnny chocking on his dick, your mind is busy. 
You get on your tip toes, urging Ghost to bend down and he gives you a quick peck on your lips. Just to seal the deal, before he pulls your head from the back of your head making you open your mouth to groan and he gets his tongue inside your mouth, turning the groan into a moan. 
It is such a filthy kiss, its only fitting for a filthy situation that you just yourself into. 
Johnny doesn't last before calling for your attention, but he doesn't call you, instead, he pulls your leg between his and starts humping his leaking dick against you. It makes you look down breaking the kiss and making Ghost look down as well, he chuckles seeing the Scotsman so desperate and grabs a handful on his mohawk making him let go of his dick with a POP sound. “Don't fuck her leg, you fucking mutt” Johnny whines when he grips his hair harder and Ghost looks up to you. You can see the gears spinning inside his head when he looks from you to Soap, both grabbed by the hair, and you are not really surprised when he says. “Get on your knees for me, birdie.”
When you drop to your knees, Ghost pushes you and Soap’s head closer to each other and Soap bites your mouth kissing you as he devours your lips. His knee on the ground is against your cunt, and when he flexes closer to you it makes you moan inside his mouth.
Soon, Soap’s tongue is not the only thing in your mouth and you feel something blunt nudge at the side of your lips. You pull apart an inch, opening your eyes, just in time to see Ghost’s dick slide between Soaps and your mouth. Both tongues getting tangled around his already wet length, Ghost moans without letting go of both of your head. Soap hands find their way to your waist, and start to help you grind yourself against his tigh. 
“She is going to ruin your underwear, Johnny.” Ghost manages to say between grunts and moans. “Better to help her take them off.”
Big hands grab you from under your arms hoisting you up, Ghost holds you against his chest with your back pressed to him and Soap helps you take off your underwear. Just when you are naked from the waist down, you feel Ghost slip his dick between your folds, rubbing your clit on his way forward. His red tips stick out from between your legs, and you can almost feel Soap mouth water and the sight of both your crotch together. “C’mon, Johnny, I didn't tell you to stop sucking.”
Johnny’s tongue is warm against your skin, and for a second when you look down, all you see is Ghost fucking Soap’s mouth through you. Until Ghost begins to thrust, and his tip keeps nudging at your clit and if it is not his tip it’s Soap's tongue running side to side on it. 
Ghost is still hugging you from behind, his face now hidden in your neck moaning little words that don't make sense, you grab his arms trying to keep yourself steady, you can barely reach the floor having to be on your tiptoes on top of Ghost's feet. 
The mix of it all, feeling almost like a fleshlight by Ghost, Soap moaning and gagging so close to your clit and Ghost’s dick rubbing again and again against your clit, has you cumming embarrassedly quickly. And if it wasn't for the way Ghost moans against your neck when you clench your thighs together, pulling Soap’s hair again to keep him from sucking him, basically edging himself not to cum yet, you would be embarrassed. Instead, you are almost ready to cum again in mere seconds.
“It looks like Johnny is a bit needy right now, doll. Do you wanna sit on his dick, hm? Suck my dick while you do? Johnny has been talking nonstop about that little mouth of yours, birdie. Been driving me crazy.” He says as he kisses your neck, leaving it wet with his spit as he barely manages to speak properly. 
Soaps, still on his knees, sits on his feet, cock free and ready for you to sit on it. You hoist his lap, getting your knees on the floor sided to his forcing you to spread your legs. You rest your hands on his knees as you lower yourself, and moan in tandem with Soap once he is completely seated. 
Ghost grabs your hands, almost picking you up, and moves them to his thighs to allow you to support yourself. Soaps begin to move, slowly, letting you get adjusted to the stretch, as he begins to fuck you almost doggy style. It pushes you forward, and you moan against Ghost’s dick making him shudder.
You start to kiss his tip, soon getting your lips around it earning a moan of your name from Ghost. He caresses your head, brushing your hair away from your face. Soap grabs your waist, helping himself fuck you faster, skin slapping against your ass making you moan as you suck Ghost’s dick.
It is almost as thick as Soap's, but it's the way it hits your throats that makes the difference. Tears prick at your eyes, slowly falling down your cheeks, and when Ghost sees them he coos at you as he smears them on your cheek with his thumb.
You can see his half-open mouth thanks to his mask being risen, and you clench your cunt when you see him bite his lips to keep his moans from spilling out. Soap hugs you from behind, bitting your shoulder and begins to piston in and out of you. His hand goes south, rubbing at your clit and you grab Ghost’s thigh sticking your nails in making him hiss almost like a moan. 
“I'm gonna cum all over your pretty face, hm? Painted like a canvas, love.” He groans grabbing your hair. “While Johnny paints you inside, all ours, inside and out, love. Our little birds, all ours.”  He keeps mumbling, taking his dick out to jack it off in front of your face. 
You stick your tongue out while looking at him, and moan when Johnny change his speed, becoming sloppy and switching the speed with slower but deeper thrusts. He moans against your shoulder, biting again hard and that's enough to send you over the edge. Johnny and Ghost following you as if they were waiting for you. 
Ghost spents end up mostly in your mouth, but you feel the hot spurts settle on your face making you close your eyes. Soap sits down, stretching his legs, and he pulls you with him, softening your dick still inside of you. 
“I wish I could send Price a picture right now” Ghost says chuckling looking down at the both of you who chuckle too with difficulty to breath.
“I think… I think we should go shower again, bonnie.” Soaps says behind you, and you can only agree. 
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Once cleaned, the three of you sit around the sofa ready to have dinner, quite delicious and gracefully, not burnt. 
“So, bonnie, ye wanna go on date?” Soap asks with his mouth full.
“I was gonna ask first, was swallowing my food.” Ghost says, almost scolding him.
“Actually… I thought about it, and I think I want to go on a date with…
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Hii, how are you?!
The next chapter is your choice, bam, bam, baaaammm!!
Let me know if there is any kind of date or anything like that that you would like to happen, hehe.
Also, just an explanation in case anyone was confused. As I said, English is not my first language, which means I don't really know many idioms in English, and that plus the fact that when I can remember how they are I just make up my own, sometimes they lack some sense 🤣.
When in this chapter Ghost says: "But don't bury the corpse without killing it first." I was thinking about the phrase "to sell the bear's skin before catching it", but that one is actually the opposite, it is when you are a bit too optimistic about how things are going to play out. So I don't know how I ended up writing the corpse one, and then I remember the fact that Ghost was buried alive and it just... in my mind it made sense.
Sorry if it doesn't 💗
As always, thank you so much for reading and for commenting, love youu ❤️🌸
Taglist: @pagesfalling @thevoidwriting @darkangel4121 @tf141glory @skyler-loves-rick-grimes @ghostlythots @readerofallthingss @onewattson6529 @mynameismothra @xinyiline @shadowtfpcod @infpt-zylith@renabear88@lolliepopsicle @reap3erslov3 @tooloudarts @dontworryboutitokie @cassiecasluciluce @sodavrr @missmidnight-writes @anirok2 @lilliumrorum @ladyxtiger @multy-fandom-lover @thriving-n-jiving @lotionlamp @spicyspicyliving @xxeiraxx @vampirekilmerfic @keiraslayz
824 notes · View notes
pinkcowzz · 2 months
Text
i like to hc that tim drakes worst trait is being a guilt tripper.
i don't think many people would argue that the batfamily has done some nasty shit to tim. bruce's dismissal when tim first started training, dick giving away the robin mantle without consulting tim, damian's & jason's murder attempts, alfred's silent complicity. tim has led a traumatizing life.
however! when put into their original context, the actions (except alfreds i love him but his compliance is so unforgivable in my eyes tbh) of the family make sense. bruce was grieving his dead son, of course he didn't want to take someone else's kid under his wing. dick had so much on his plate of course he thought tim could handle himself. jason was back from the dead and thought his family had replaced him without another care and damian felt so threatened and out of water in gotham he wanted to prove himself the only way he knew how at the time.
but tim? tim holds grudges. he is constantly angry and seething but he waits. he waits until a small minor disagreement occurs and pulls up the past to shame his family into giving him his way.
bruce doesn't want to approve a mission because it puts tim under unnecessary risks? "oh so you still don't trust me bruce. no it's fine, i understand. i'll hand off this mission to dick or damian since they're better suited for it. " how could bruce not change his mind. "no tim it's not that. of course i trust you i just wanted to make sure you were being safe. it's your call."
dick is busy juggling (circus pun intended) the titans and his job and patrols in bludhaven and his social life and his relationship with babs and his commitment to damian and "sorry tim i can't hang out this week. can we schedule something for next month?" and tim pulls his famous "oh no it's fine. don't even worry about me i'll just...well maybe cass is free to see the movie with me. i just figured since we haven't spent all that much time together since i brought bruce back it'd be nice to spend time out of the masks together...but it's fine." and dick is suddenly choking on the guilt of firing tim and the chasm that separates them now.
damian is being a regular angsty teen and is being rude to tim? "geez damian i thought you grew out of this phase. you haven't insulted me like that since you first got here. whatever you want blood son" and damian is suddenly doubting his place in the family again because if they kicked todd out because of his anger and violence where does that leave him. and the next day damian leaves a drawing for tim to find as an apology.
and maybe it's just my middle child syndrome speaking but i also think that jason is the only one who sees tims stunts for what they are. jason will get a text from dick in the middle of the night saying "i may never understand why you do what you do but i am here to back you up if you ever need me. just call. love you little wing" and jason is rolling his eyes and texting tim "wtf did you tell dick and why is being brotherly to me? as someone who tried to kill you over the grudge i was holding you really need to let yours go"
idk. just something to think about.
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