#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kurjakani · 1 year

Note

Hiii! I was wondering if you’re still into cyberpunk if you could give us (mainly me) some more Dum Dum/ Royce hcs I love the way you interpret them 💛 just go off the rails plz

I am DEEPLY into dummybaby still even tho its been a while since i played cyberpunk 2077.. the tech stuff is cool in a lot of places but the only ppl who rllly wet my appetite for scifi humanity r the maelstrom and the little hints we get about how they function.. Im not like. adept w any technology i can barely keep my comp 2gether so i dont quite understand it, but the part about Maelstrom bodies or brains somehow amplifying music in Totentanz? Made me d r o o l

ANYWAYS im not gonna talk abt te canonical stuff i barely remember it i need 2 refreshen my brain abt it but ill give. u a quick reminder of how i visualize/characterize Dum dum mostly but ill also give some royce stuff and then ill just go ham w some headcanons abt their basic life.

2 me as like, one of the CHillest maelstrom, which, isnt saying a lot, but 2 me (maybe as an adhd person who experiences the same and mayyy be reflecting a bit teehee) hes someone whos experiencing some level of understimulation who gets over it w extremity.

I usually imagine ngl that its caused by being so overstimulated by an extreme enviroment for his whole life (i mean. night city yk?) that he needs constant punching to get through life. this makes for a vERY hollow feeling life for him but 2 me.

Royces chaos kinda enhances it for him 2 some kinda point of like. purpose? Almost? which is why he seems 2 have at least. like some mild genuine respect & dedication to him. yipee yk.

Royce is just batshit and he loves his music and is the exact opposite he seems 2 be full of energy and so on. Royce is hyped Dum dum is exhausted but seeking smth that feels real and alive and exeptional.

2 me. we get so little abt their personalities in game PLEASE leave me alone this is ENTIRELY speculation and reflective.

anyways yeah just some random stuff!!!!

bc of that i kinda like to think that they r both. unwell sleepers if that makes sense? Dont sleep enough. Royce sleeps naturally very little and dum dum keeps up w him. We doo see dum dum usually just hanging about, lounging, I can totally imagine him taking mininaps constantly, eyes flickering from time to time, head nodding. Snapping 2 awakenness suddenly when Royce starts speaking again.

ive looked at some rotations of dum dums model and some of his bodymods are DEFINETLY more just aesthetic than functional.. at LEAST his upper lip rings. Those r trditional piercings. Probably also is chin metal n much of the stuff around his mouth. Again im not technically adept and Idk what the designers were going for, but I'd love to think that also the cored part around his neck, where they've just taken a part around his spine and replaced it w a dent of metal, is fully appearences, just bc its so extreme and interesting. He likes his bodymods he enjoys the process!!!! Perhaps he even enjoys the care that goes into them, bodymods that heavy must require a lot of care.

I dont. think he has tattoos in his final design right? og dumdum had the tats? Though i do love to think that he got tattoos when he was younger but most of them have just gone through being torn apart by his later bodymodifications. Maybe he has some shitty stick & pokes somewhere thatd be cute. bonding w the boys.

he mentions he likes classic rock music- tbh i kinda love 2 imagine that hed also enjoy old movies/shows? classics enjoyer. i knoww they have like those brainfilms n shit but its rly hard for me to imagine film going out of style fully, just like books havent fully gone out of style bc movies exist. i dont remember if movies r much mentioned in the game though. STILL yeah I bet hed like some horror movies... He would 1000% watch texas chainsaw massacre etc, and movies from our day as classics. Midsommar w / dum dum sounds like a nightmare.

Secretly dumdums a lil interested in philosophy. He kinda dismisses stuff like that but he does have a secret admiration for the world and thoughts. This comes out particularly bc Royce has some weird ideas.

I think he must be running warm most of the time.... My friend asked me if i think his metal parts get cold enough for your tongue to get stuck and yeah thatd be funny he prolly hates cold weather and needs 2 wear a balaklava when its wintery outside so his metal parts dont freeze his face.

seeks purpose but u might not realize it bc hes made chaos his purpose

Litcherally never prolly thinks about cyberpsychosis. if e does, maybe he even wishes for it in some way? in a self destructive sense. Royce is more likely to experience it faster, though which i imagine would be a big blow 2 dumdum

Has a lot of CASUAL friends in the maelstrom but it never gets fully to the level of found family/genuine friends. Yes they have a lot in common, yes he spends all his time w them, but it often feels surface level to him, and "unreal". Hes found a more profound connection in Royce, but i feel like his admiration is a little one sided, and that he realizes it? But is like. whatever this is still nice.

dehydrated, forgets to eat and eats like shit when he does eat. Loves carbs and sugars. Possibly caues some of his exhaustion.

He kinda plays up his emotional outbursts!!!! He isnt that angry. He does it to assert dominance in a very outbursty enviroment. If he was in a chiller enviroment you could actually mess w him quite a lot and hed just laugh and mess back w you.

BOTTHH of their eyes can flicker 2 the beat of music like those old computer apps that played music and had some kinda visual indicator of the rythm. fuck w them

Dum dum prolly drives some kinda rly shitty van most of the time, just bc hes usually hanging out w so many people. Big driver in general!!! Not like a car/bike person but enjoys sitting at the wheel and feeling out how the car runs. usually a p good driver but sometimes he gets too focused on getting some adrenaline and becomes a bit of a mess of a driver.

#perhamps i reflect my own experiences on him a LITTLE too much but alas LMFAO #seeking. something. always #he means the world to me hes my beautiful man and i just got him in mudae on a server #yipee #dum dum #ask #anon #U TOLD ME TO GO OFF #LEAVE ME ALONE I LOVE HIM

6 notes · View notes

cheswirls · 20 days

Text

(this got long fair warning)

every so often i'll get the urge to do something and have to mentally ask myself 'but do you actually care?'

and it used to be a reflexive response bc i decided when i graduated hs that i was gonna stop worrying so much abt what other ppl thought abt me and this helped me greatly at the time to be more confident etc etc and i developed the habit bc i would ask abt smth or worry abt doing smth purely based on other ppl's opinion adn not actually. what i wanted. so i'd backtrack and be like 'actually i asked but i rly don't care so don't answer that' or i'd think, like, 'it doesn't matter what other ppl think, just wear what you want if you'll be comfortable in it' and i think that's a great skill i've developed

but in the past year or so i've also realized that it's okay to wonder abt other ppl's perceptions and to act based on such. i do clinical rotations for my major and it's frequent to hear girls apologize for not shaving their legs or whatnot and my reflexive response is always 'hey who cares abt that' which is true like. i do think it's smth they need to let go of but also i've realized it's kinda insensitive of me to assume everyone else has the capacity to be so lackadaisical and not stress abt what others think of them. even if it's with good intentions.

and then in realizing that, i started thinking that it's okay for myself to care abt other's opinions. like yea at certain points it's been fine - if i'm getting dressed to go do laundry at the laundromat down the street then i don't need to stress abt wearing oversized sweats and such as long as i can get around in them okay. like as someone with such bad social anxiety at certain points it rly is me over-stressing the little things nd i do need the reminder to calm down.

but also. it is normal and human to want others to have a good perception of you. if the situation calls for it, then i do need to dress more professionally and behave a certain way and such. even if i don't particularly care abt how much of an outcast i am, there are still societal obligations and things i need to think abt. that's also normal.

and in realizing all of this and having my thoughts gradually change on the matter, in having me accept that it's not as normal as i'd like for the average person to shrug off their cares and worries when it comes to how others see them, then i do feel like i've had more empathy abt the matter too. but that's. anyway,

the point is that lately when i'm hesitating abt a decision and i ask myself 'do you actually care abt that?' then it's been less of a reminder to myself to not worry as much and more of a direct question for me to figure out in order to make a decision - does it really matter to me, or am i inflating an issue that no one will notice? does it matter to me or someone else? and even outside of all that, it's a simple yes or no: does it really matter or does it not? if it really matters that i can't wear this or that bc i'll worry abt how others will see me, then that's fine and i need to accept that and move on. it's okay for me to not be 100% confident and shrug everything off. i'm learning to see that now and it's been good for me. i've never been good at dealing with people but i have been becoming more self-aware abt the subject.

instead of asking 'do i really care' to justify something, i'm asking to figure out if it's important to me, and if it is, then i should just do it. because it's not completely abt not doing smth, there's a lot of it that's been wanting smth out of curiosity and then having to backtrack and see if it actually matters. like, not that i'm being nosy, but in the same line of asking if i care like i'm checking to see if i'll care abt an outside opinion, this is like, me asking to see if i actually want to know smth or of i've engaged with the matter on reflex. earlier today i thought back on a group chat for work that wanted each of us to like a message to make sure we read it and since i was the first to see and respond, i was a little curious the next day (today) if everyone liked the same message or liked the one that directly asked for a response. which, like. that's the anxiety talking to make sure i did something correctly, and in the grand scheme of things it rly doesn't matter. a year ago i would've waffled on checking back to see which message got responded to by everyone and then asked myself if i actually cared and decided i didn't and left it at that.

that's not a bad thing, but in adding nuance to that self-imposed question (so that it's not a way to shut myself down and instead to decide how important smth is) it's allowed me to parse thru things easier. i'm losing my train of thought. but basically i decided that it did matter bc i was curious and i checked and then moved on. and then i had this whole realization that less and less lately i've been shutting myself down and giving myself a chance to think abt what matters to me, which has also been good. sometimes i'm just curious, and that's not a bad thing. i don't need to worry so much abt asking or doing smth and being shut down or ridiculed or whatever other negative thing can come from it. as long as i keep in mind that like, there's a time and place for things and that i generally want ppl to think of me positively in aspects of my life that matter, then i'm good. i don't need to fear so much. i don't need to worry.

this got out of hand and i've rambled for a bit w/o rly knowing what i'm trying to say at the end so. that's that ig

#ah sry abt the length i didnt wanna shove this under a cut #personal #i guess

0 notes

ihavenocarinsurance · 2 years

Text

Akatsuki Headcanons:

Cheering you up when you cry

Ya bbois had a few terrible days in a row and I am dramatic

CHARACTERS: Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kauzu

GENRE: idk ig fluff

READER: genderneutral

CONTEXT: established romantic relationship

WARNINGS: none (frogor to add this one last time)

EXTRA INFO: this is again me being impulsive but this time impulsively sad also i didn't proof read it. i never do

Deidara

He strikes me as smn who is very much in tune with his emotions so I'd expect him to be quite empathetic so expect this dude to panic a little

are you crying because of him? did he say smth?

it breaks his heart to see you in that condition, aiming to help immediately

his go to move is probably words of affirmation (or just straight up apologies lol) and physical affection like he'd pull you into a hug, caress your head gently while letting you cry all you want, asking if you're comfortable or need to leave if there are other people present

while he understand that you are sad and vulnerable he'd be hurt if you rejected his help

afterwards he would take time to talk it out with you. maybe eat smth while talking or just cuddle. it depends on what you feel like doing

he simply tries his best to help you

Sasori

for him it rly boils down to why you're crying

if a person was behind it, i can assure you they'll end up dead. wouldn't even bother making a puppet out of that mf. would leave them to rot in the woods

if that wasn't the case we'll then ;-;

man is just a :{

because compared to deidara he isn't exactly an expert on emotions (neither is dei but u get what i mean) and if there isn't an actual problem to solve or a fight to win, he is sorta lost

but fear not, your man wouldn't be your man if he hadn't done his best to understand and learn more abt emotions for the sake of making you feel loved

now, I am not saying that him putting his hand on yours while leaning his head against your shoulder isn't comforting. what I am saying is that you can tell-everyone can tell- that he got this from some "emotions 101" handbook

one thing he can think of himself is to give you thinks that make you happy like a present or your favourite food

but I would say that his main method would be spending time with you by either just quietly holding you or having a full on date to cheer you up

in summary: he is not the best with emotions but this man loves you to death and would do anything to keep you happy

Itachi

Probably the best one ngl

he knows you fairly well at this point and therefore doesn't panic much

sure he is worried but his first thought would rather be "omg I need to help" and not "shit shit fuck fuvk fuck what did i do-"

his voice remains calm and he takes you to a quiet spot if there are people around

expect some more physical affection than usual because the next few days will consist of cuddling a lot

I can see him already making a habit of taking care of you (reminding you to eat, rest etc). and for the next few days you can expect him to pay even more attention to you

he'd cook for you, compliment you more often, maybe even do your hair and what not, all aiming to make you feel better and also loved by him

Kisame

exactly what is happening in the gif: surprised expression at first but its quickly replaced with a smile

he is the type to not be rather hesitant with physical affection, not knowing if you want it

but you can expect our man to go all the way with comforting you with his words, trying to make you see an optimistic point of view or reassuring you that everything will be alr, that he will always be there for you etc

he would never reject your attempt to be physically affectionate with him since he does absolutely crave it

he'd attempt to take your mind off of things by looking at the starts while cuddling or taking a swim

expect more compliments for the next few days abt everything you are and do rly

"I love your sense of humour", "you look amazing today, yk that?", "i adore you"

Hidan

compared to some other blogs that I have seen I dont really view Hidan as much of a player. I think he is just hot and stupid and also looks stupid

but yh mans not thAaat stupid. he is familiar with the phenomenon of crying

he'd go all soft and worried, asking "what happened?", "are you hurt?", "who did this to you?" and my personal favourite "please, i am so sorry idk what i did-"

you have his full attention. if you were to hug him he'd immediately go all the way of wrapping his arms around you, kissing your head, whispering comforting words while gently caressing your hair/back

and he will hold you for a good while

when it comes to solutions tho, he sucks. because just like sasori he is good in what he does but other things like that icky-vulnerable part of emotions and how to deal with them accordingly is not exactly his strength

he wants to help and beats himself up over not being able to do more than just sit and listen even tho sometimes this is all that matters

he wants to solve the issue and make sure you don't cry again but there is simply nobody to sacrifice when all you're crying about is smth like stress or just a bad day

he loves you very much :(

Kakuzu

He knows you're abt to cry when you act like that. Don't ask him how he knows or he'll say smth like "you always make that face" which, personally, would make me cry harder

mans old. and tired. not tired of you but tired

he'd probably be counting some money or just doing sOMETHing when you started crying and even if you tried to hide it mans would know

he'd pull you to him and hold you close, knowing the task at hand is important but so are you

he can definitely multitask unless he is counting money. I mean he could but he dislikes doing that. Enjoying the moment with the money in his hands to the fullest♡

after you calmed down he starts talking, asking whats bothering you or if he can help

he listens, making sure you know he is listening

he'd also start being more affectionate towards you by either buying you more surprise gifts or holding your hand more often. if you're rly lucky he will pull his mask down to kiss you once in a while

#naruto #akatsuki headcanons #akatsuki x reader #akatsuki #deidara x reader #sasori x reader #itachi x reader #kisame x reader #hidan x reader #kakuzu x reader #fluff #the good shit

845 notes · View notes

mousemilf · 2 years

Note

riley aren't you 23? you're literally so so SO young pls don't internalize that you're too old to be on grad school or to do anything for that matter. Im not from the us so i guess university culture is different here but in my 1st year class we had a lot of 24+ year old students and a few who were 30+ and idk it was extremely normal. like even tho the majority of us was younger no one cared at all. Actually i've always very much admired older grad students bc they're the ones who are really like going after what they want in life and choosing it consciously and powering through despite the social pressures, no matter if it's their 1st grad course or 2nd or 3rd, compared to lil 18 year old babies who go to uni bc that's what they've been told to do. i myself am 25 and have been struggling to finish off my last year of grad school for 2-3 years now lol but whenever i feel ashamed for that i try to remind myself that it's actually awesome that im still trying to do what i want despite the difficulties or what others may think of it or what my parents say lmao etc.

youre right im still young... i am 23 turning 24 on saturday. i dont rly have the idea that im too old to go to grad school im just thinking abt how ive already taken 2 years off, which feels like a lot to me - probably more than it actually is.

i think i feel like i need to finish it soon more bcs of financial reasons than anything else, bcs i have a "useless" undergrad degree and my masters would open up a career field where i would b making like 4 or 5 times what i make at my job now.

i had a lot of older students in my undergrad classes and i always admired them a lot, and i think it would have been good for me if i had put off college for a year or so but i couldnt bcs the scholarship. i probably would have done a lot of things different and even gone ahead and done a psych minor for art therapy if id known abt it when i did my undergrad, and i wouldnt even b in this pickle now but oh well play the cards im given.

thank you <3 i shall persevere

#ic #anon

6 notes · View notes

majicmarker · 3 years

Text

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

#i just love them whoops my hand slipped #the majnificent adventures #gus tag #@ melissa wtf is our tag we had like five #how do i not remember five things #anyway i got into my feelings tnt don’t @ me

14 notes · View notes

delbeugre · 4 years

Text

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen.....

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid...

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat:

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

#yatesintro #/tw implied violence #/tw death mention #/tw drug use #/tw jail mention

11 notes · View notes

lanajvmeson · 4 years

Text

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED. (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.)

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

#yatesintro #drugs tw #ed tw #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #car accident tw #drunk driving tw #addiction tw #cowabunga chim chimmeny cheroo it's a tw extravaganza <3 #hmu fr plots go crazy go stupid

8 notes · View notes

bubblegvms · 4 years

Text

♡ . * [ madelyn cline, cis female, she/her ] ⁠— * oh, here comes DELILAH ABBOTT ! the twenty-two year old libra is often referred to as the luminary. people say they have a tendency to be sententious and opinionated, but from what i’ve seen, they can be vivacious and devoted too. when they walk by, you’ll probably hear give you my lovin by mazzy star playing out of their headphones, but they’re also associated with chewing bubblegum after lunch, signing love letters with a kiss, & collecting music boxes. i hear they’re a waitress and studying women’s studies & want to become a social worker when they’re older, but who knows what will become of ‘em !

hey, everyone !! my name is diana, i am twenty years old, use she/her pronouns and reside in the est timezone !! some fun facts ( not really ) abt me: i’m a libra sun with a virgo moon and aquarius rising, i have 3 cats, i love film and jane austen :) i am suuuuper excited to be part of this group, ily all already and all ur muses are amazing <3 hehe i’ll be coming to u all for plots now asap :’) but anyway, without further ado, u can read abt my muse delilah under the cut !!!

♡ . * 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 !

full name : delilah lane abbott

nickname(s) : lila ( she goes by this ), dee ( by family and close friends )

age : twenty-two

zodiac : libra sun, taurus moon, pisces rising ( click )

sexuality : bisexual

alignment : neutral good

pinterest : click

♡ . * 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 ! ( alcoholism & substance abuse tw )

delilah was born on a crisp autumn night, october 15th, 1970, to be exact. she was born in a tiny apartment in the middle of a college party. delilah’s birth mom was extremely young ( high school age ) when she got pregnant, and wasn’t sure who the father was. she came from a wealthy family, but ran away when she realized she was pregnant

her birth mother also struggled with alcoholism and substance abuse. those close to her did their best to make sure she wasn’t using any of these substances during her pregnancy, but she snuck a few drinks and pills here and there whenever she got the chance

after giving birth to delilah, things only got worse. she continued drinking and using drugs more than ever before, often times neglecting her baby. she attempted to raise her baby with her boyfriend, who was much older than her, but he ultimately was no help and only there for a good time. delilah lived with her birth mom the first three ( almost four ) years of her life

finally, her birth mom’s parents tracked her down and discovered she had a child. once they saw the conditions she was living in, they told her she needed to put delilah up for adoption before the state took her away. so that is exactly what she did, and has been in and out of rehab ever since

delilah was adopted around a year later. at this point, she was nearly 5. she was extremely happy and felt so grateful to be adopted. while in the foster care system, she had met a lot of older kids who had been there for years

delilah’s family was so loving and welcoming, she truly could not have asked for more. 3 years later, they adopted jude and delilah became a big sister !!! she is extremely protective over her sister, she would literally do anything for her :’) and their parents clearly loved kids, since their basement also became the hangout spot for everyone

( donna and i are still plotting out the details about their family, but it’s only them and their mom now o: )

lila had to grow up pretty fast, so she always much more responsible and mature for her age. still, despite everything, she always maintained an optimistic outlook on life. she loves life and the people in hers so much, she just has so much love to spread !!!!

delilah developed a passion for feminism at a young age, thanks to her mother. she would literally print out feminist readings and pass them out at lunch in high school. she’d also give speeches about feminism at school. some people disliked her for it, saying she was too opinionated and stuff, but it never stopped her. she also pretty much always knew she wanted to be a social worker

♡ . * 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 !

delilah always sees the best in people. although she acknowledges that everyone has flaws, she’s the type of person who doesn’t like to give up on anyone. she will support you even through your darkest times, and try to help you see the light

she is so protective of her friends and family, like will truly do anything to see them safe and happy. she just wants to remind everyone that they are loved and supported

she LOVES people soooooo much !!! she is extremely extroverted, literally a social butterfly who tries to befriend literally everyone ajskdhkdh

delilah dislikes conflict, so she is often playing peacemaker, whether in her home life or with her friend group. she wants everyone to get along, but be able to talk to their differences to come to some sort of common ground. however, sometimes this means shes sticking her nose in other people’s business

she is obsessed with love !!!! like this girl literally falls in love 5 times a day with a stranger on the bus, the coolest celebrity on tv, the girl that sits next to he in class, etc. i think she is definitely a relationship person, because she’s a nurturer and wants to be there for people. however, i think sometimes she gets caught up in the fairy tale of it all. like she wants to be in love so bad, sometimes she rushes into things or idealizes the situation in her head, so things might not exactly work out

delilah isn’t very open with her emotions. she mostly keeps them to herself, because she doesn’t want anyone to have to worry about her or anything. she tries to deal with everything herself mostly

she sees the beauty in everything, which is like partially because she’s a huge optimist. she also cannot resist pretty things. she once bought a pink guitar from a thrift store because she thought it was pretty, even though she has no idea how to play. however, she wants to learn, especially because she loves to sing ( this bitch is literally always humming )

is almost always the designated driver. she doesn’t really drink or smoke too often, and when she does, it’s during social situations. but she wants her friends to have all the fun they want and know they have someone they can count on to get them home safely. but btw she is an extreme lightweight LMFAO

some other little headcanons / tidbits about her

♡ . * 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 !

adventure buddy - someone who goes on little adventures with her and is always down to experience and try new things !!!

ride or die / best friend - the person she is closest to ( aside from jude ). literally her platonic soulmate, the person who understands her the most, the person she understands the most

unlikely friends - they’re so different, you’d never expect them to be good friends. but for some reason, it just works. they click !! maybe they’re always introducing each other to new things, like showing each other their interests and stuff

ex-fling / gf / bf - maybe they ended on weird terms, maybe they ended on good terms, maybe they still have lingering feelings or sexual tension, etc. we can plot however !!

unrequited crush - maybe delilah has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it wouldn’t be unlikely !! OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it

requited crush - they both like each other, but maybe they’re both too scared to make a move, or maybe they’re ready to like try going out, we can plot however !!

friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing / sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t

enemies w benefits - ok not actually enemies, since they’re all friends and delilah doesnt rly hate anyone ( only racist, sexist, homophobic, etc kinds of ppl ). but maybe they don’t exactly see eye to eye, so imagine the tension !!! they started out not getting along that well, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. maybe they’re keeping it a secret from everyone else

will they, won’t they - there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances PLS !!! they have chemistry, but maybe the timing has always been off ??

flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of it and maybe never will. maybe they have good chemistry, but have never tried to explore it further, or don’t want to ruin their friendship. or maybe they flirt and think it’s a joke, but really it’s like a haha jk....unless ? type situation AKSJJKSD

ex-close friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how, or they’re just accepting of the distance between them

take care / taken care of - ok so delilah doesnt drink or smoke a lot, but when she does, she is an extreme lightweight. maybe ur muse looks after her when she’s under the influence ? also !!! someone she looks after a lot. like she tries to take care of all her friends, but maybe she especially wants to take care of ur muse and has a soft spot for them !!!

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other !!! they trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private. delilah isn’t very open about stuff, but she confides in ur muse maybe

bad influence - delilah hasn’t done a lot of bad or crazy things in her life, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot !! someone who gets her to do things she never would do otherwise. someone who can show her a fun time !!

good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok !!

diner days - she’s a waitress, maybe ur muse always shows up during her shifts to keep her company and get free milkshakes !! someone who helps her pass the time while she’s working

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll be making a plots page later on and add more stuff !

finally, that is all !! i’m so sorry about how long this is, i ramble so much sometimes !!! but anyway, if u like this post i’ll hit u up on discord ( if u don’t i’ll still message u <3 ). if u prefer tumblr im’s for plotting tho, just let me know <3 i’m sooo excited to rp with u all aaahhh i can’t wait !!!!

my discord: blackpink is coming <333333#5522

#♡ . * 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒂 ╱ ooc.#intro.

4 notes · View notes

judehayward · 4 years

Text

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — jude hayward (him n his parents dnt kno his middle name they lost his birth certificate n forgot what they wrote)

NICKNAME — judas

D.O.B. — 13th march 1997

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — tag n pinterest

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — pisces / taurus / virgo

MBTI — intp (the logician)

MORAL ALIGNMENT — chaotic neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single n bisexual

LANGUAGES — jst english :/ boring

TALENTS / HOBBIES — painting, drawing, piano, bass guitar, cooking (hates it tho never does it bc he jst doesn’t hv the energy bt he cn do it quite well), composing, smoking, used to b decent at baseball when he first moved to san fran bt....... no work ethic 😔 didn’t stick at it 😔, reading, narrating pigeons outside of his window like david attenborough

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — the cure, elliott smith, glass animals, the smiths, metronomy.... bonus additions r neutral milk hotel, the national, wolf alice, mac demarco, foals, slaughter beach dog, the psychedelic furs...... cldn’t just list 5 i’m sry. (am i?)

FAVOURITE BOOK — i think he likes virginia woolf stuff a lot.... probably rly likes on the road by jack kerouac too....... i’ve nt read any of this i jst Know frm quotes n things....

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — hereditary, the room, beautiful boy, the truman show, bladerunner, green room, fight club (:///// he’s not One Of Those bt he jst relates w the insomnia aspect), E.T....... then fr tv um...... mr. robot, breaking bad, peep show, walking dead (until it got Shit), nathan for you, the eric andre show.

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — the tony hawk games.... red dead redemption when he’s depressed sometimes he jst rides around on a horse nt even doing a mission jst smoking n galloping...... in silence..... silent hill n resident evil..... think he prob wld hv played life is strange too..... n CoD zombies when younger bt thts it.......

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — went bk to sheffield to oversee his parents gallery n also catch up w childhood friends n things :/ it was Bad

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — jst various places in england, san francisco, lovell n amsterdam i think

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — ya he’s on 200mg of sertraline atm.... idk wht it’s called in america... an anti-depressant basically... he’s tried like 87274723 diff ones bt. :/

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — depression (severe) and insomnia... probably mre undiagnosed :/

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — ok he isn’t a fictional character bt his biggest inspiration is robert pattinson honestly............. i cn also see nick miller (new girl) in him............ mulder frm the x files (dnt watch bt frm screencaps etc) n also ik he’s a real person again bt the like Persona nathan fielder puts on in nathan for you..... vry deadpan n absurd..... reminds me of him

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — no job Babey altho mayb i’ll change tht fr the spice

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — he ws invited to all the parties bt he wsn’t like a Top Dog or anything....... jst along fr the ride

DO THEY DO DRUGS? ya

DRINK? — ya

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — so many ya’s. so little time.

SMOKE WEED? — so much. Sorrr pls give ur lungs a break.....

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — sheffield, england!! he mostly grew up there bt also spent some yrs in san francisco. his parents were weird n unreliable abt relocating between galleries so it ws a bit of a train wreck tbh......

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — no

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — jude does nt..... hv any plans fr his life at all........... none at all...... doesn’t look any of u in the eyes.................. :////////////////

PARENTS NAMES — harry n colette

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — no

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — he hs a tortoise named herb who he wld never confess to loving dearly..... lets him roam free as he pleases.... feeds him slices of cucumber

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — no he’s like..... if god ws real he’d b a cunt.

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — hmmMMM..... mayb like.... 30 something

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — idk cars bt i imagine the paint kind of peeling faded dusty blue-ish grey myb like.... a slightly older model...... splutters smoke the stereo jams a lot........ he doesn’t care he’s like the bastard hs character............ probably brks dwn a lot n is parked mre than driven. usually gets the bus

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — just doesn’t give much of a fk throws whtever on...... usually some flannel shirt or white tshirt...... variation of trousers....... jean jacket or corduroy one......... dr martens.............. sometimes plaid pj pants in public i rly cnt emphasise hw little he cares.............

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — behind

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — he finds the undergrounds a bit creepy i think bt he doesn’t rly like enclosed spaces so cld just b tht.................. probably thinks the secret society hs some weight to it

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — open to the idea of him being a handsome fellow................. perhaps muscular in physique...... striking bastard chap......

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “He was more like a drizzle in a drought, a fast glance of the view as you’re speeding down the highway. He was there, but he never was.” or “There is a terrible emptiness in me, an indifference that hurts.“

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — cnt pick between agnes by glass animals n spanish sahara by foals so..... slaps both dwn

#ruhqtask #ruhqtask001

4 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Photo

@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#7:05am who up!! im nocturnal. im a vampire. a cool vampire. jk not sexy enough #unsexy vampire rights!!!#unsexy nocturnal me getting reckless and saying into the mic: Hey. I Love Y’all. Yeehaw

10 notes · View notes

starkissr · 6 years

Text

idk why

ppl want to be fake friends like i’d rather have real friends or no friends but i don’t get why ??? ppl rly wanna try n be my fake friend like no listen i’m sorry but i can’t be ur friend on the day u feel lonely n a stranger when ur thriving and omg!!!! this one rly just told me my expectations are too high bc get this! i asked her to consider me like o ok lol so you’re rly telling me in ur twisted idea of a friend I’m not allowed to expect u to care abt me like isn’t that only the literal definition of a friend my mistake??? bc i totally get having no expectations of ppl and all that but at the end of the day when ur then best friend decides to ignore ur existence then come back into ur life whenever they feel like it? like my problem isn’t that ur trying to come back into my life i’m open to whatever ok but when u can’t have consistent intentions to be a good friend u auto = fake aka nobody ???? i GET that ppl mess up obv i’m not perfect either but it’s just admitting that and actually understanding where u went wrong n at least making an honest effort of not doing it again that is SO CRUCIAL

wow wow wojeofiae and like it’s just soooo funny when ur pride is the fucking reason we’re not friends??? like if ur ego is what’s holding u back i rly don’t need someone so easily swayed by that bs in my life? so no i’m not gonna try or give a fuck abt u if ur idea of a friend is not aligned w mine like and if it isn’t that’s fine we don’t have to be friends uk but like idk it sucks tbh bc i’ve been sooo transparent abt how ur lack of words/actions hurt me so bad so u literally know but don’t do anything w this knowledge??? n still wanna try and talk to me like we’re friends after?? fuck no

it’s sad that 2 of my absolute best friends did this to me in diff ways but like this is the underlying pattern n it just hurts so bad when the person ur the closest to in the world and has learned the most abt u and has been thru sooo many ups and downs just one day decides that ur not important to them anymore uk??? like and when they come back later bc of c that’s what they always fucking do! they expect it to be like the old days and make u feel like ur fucking crazy for being hurt when they literally just left u in the dark. it was so painful to grieve thru that period without u bc i had to feel what it was like when u turned ur back on me and yes it was v fucking cold bc when i was ur friend it was all sunny days n that was a stark contrast but

also these past few days rly just make me wanna ask u why tf are u so fucking bipolar and a passive aggressive cunt to me one second and talking to me in ur bubbly tone like im ur friend legitimately 2 seconds later bc oh u just remembered u can use me for this thing or that??? i’ve literally never met an angrier or immature person? like ok obv i’m just off one on this rant so i’m gonna explain just how this girl tried me today! so she’s my roommate n keep in mind like i have told her explicitly my problem w her is that she hurt me when she didn’t communicate w me n went mia like i said this multiple times so no guess work needed n anyway today i was playing music in our room and guess what this girl does!!! puts her music on louder than mine! at first i was like?????????????? literally what? LIKE DID U RLY!!!!!!!!! JUST DO THAT LOL it was rly too much for u to tell me u wanted to play ur music???? i was honestly amazed and was like ok like obv this just sounds like shit at this pt n tbh all i wanted to do was just ask u why u felt that u didn’t want to tell me u wanted to play ur music? but then i checked myself and remembered ur words that i am expecting too much of u when i ask why u don’t care to communicate certain things so i guess it’s too much to ask u this too so like what now? n i just turned my music off after this internal resolution that u literally told me i can’t expect anything from u aka i can’t ever expect u to show up for me so like who is someone to u that is there one day and not the next?? like a relationship needs a degree of stable commitment and if i can never count on u why would i want to waste my time waiting on u to fuck up / my breath for calling u my friend?

the ppl i’m lucky enough to call my friends are ppl that i’m inspired by and i’m not saying ur an ugly person like obv u have parts of u that are so beautiful and that’s who i saw in u before but like if u keep showing me how ugly u can be don’t blame me if u singlehandedly broke my trust in u ??? AND ANYWAY LOL if ur reading this still the CHERRY on top of it all and what actually got me fucking mad is this !!!! girl!!!! asked me for a bandaid a breath after i turned my music off. like. o. ... .m. . . m. g. i just honestly couldn’t believe it n w her cheery ass tone like this is what i’m talking abt how u only matter to them when they need u!!! i was debating asking her abt the music thing now that she decided i was worth speaking to but literally it just wasn’t worth it to hear another one of ur excuses??? i would’ve loved to see what u would’ve twisted out of that situation tbh but i was also like ok like i don’t wanna help u bc ur a cunt but then i was like uk what! she wins if i’m a bitter person bc of her by telling her no so i let her have my stupid bandaid but talk to me like we’re friends one more time and i swear to fucking god !!!!! i won’t be so silent

n my friends are like r u gonna be friends w her after n i’m like ? what friend treats a friend like this ????????? like real q? this is not a friend. why would i say yeah i’ll be friends w her just to make her happy? no bitch my one requirement to be my friend is to act like a fucking friend and if u tell me that’s expecting too much of u like ok but u have to understand! this is my definition of a friend i can’t be ur friend then ! stop half ass trying!!!!!! either leave me tf alone or the moment u choose to decide (and actually act like) u wanna be real to me is when i consider u my friend again uk!! i’m not gonna hold ur shit over ur head but idk i feel like it’s bc they think that i will that they don’t try or honestly i don’t know their reason why but all i do know is there’s a blatant discrepancy between their words and their actions. for both of them but like the one who did this to me first even apologized to me and like i honestly rly appreciated that like it was only! a year and a half late lol but still i was happy but then they went ahead and did them and i haven’t heard of them since! like ok COOL so u just wanted to say we’re friends then go away again like that’s what i’m saying i don’t get it why do ppl want to be fake friends? what’s the pt????????? wow ok these are just the questions that i’m asking myself rn it like tears me apart that the ppl who know me best can’t bother to act like my friend when they wanna still have the perks of calling me a friend ! literally if any of them were to hit me up and put an attempt that lasts o idk beyond a single day to be my friend then i’m down i’m there but don’t fucking tell me i have high expectations for thinking ur my friend yeah obv i’m rly frustrated at everyone for complicating everything like clearly i care so much abt these ppl and that’s why i’m hell bent on trying to make myself feel ok for not taking them back bc as much as i love them i have self respect and literally it would just become an emotionally abusive relationship if i try to engage in a friendship where the friend would just let me down every day like i already have my own shit i’m dealing w why tf would i want to put myself thru unnecessary pain?

like everyone knows when ur being genuine or not. the recent one gave me a fake apology and it was so clear it was fake and last night she even admitted that it was n that she doesn’t think she needs to apologize and like i’m just like ......... so let’s just say i forgot that u can’t stick to ur word ok.... did u rly just have to remind me again?! this is what i’m talking abt it’s just painful and i can’t be ur friend if u can’t be real w me ok that’s all if anyone wants to be a human w me say hi like i rly don’t think anyone reads this so i was gonna delete my tumblr so long ago bc like whats the pt if no one sees u but then i realized how fucking cool that is and how liberating it is to just like put ur thoughts out into the interweb like journal writing is cool n all but on the off chance someone other than me does happen to see this then hi ur only looking at my deepest thoughts so i might as well know who u r lol but like if not (prob) then that’s ok i’ll just lol at myself when i reread this later! as stressful as this is like omg i’m graduating next week and i won’t have these kinda petty problems anymore and like that’s cool when that happens but idk i’m just not ready to grad f m u so ik as like annoying as this is and as stressed as i am abt my classes and assignments and finals and the future i’m eternally grateful for my education n like that’s why i don’t wanna leave! it’s the little things like tn i was at a coffee shop studying w friends n in the car ride back me n one of them were talking abt that one cute barista like he doesn’t matter but having someone to just say whatever the fuck u want w n confide in! it’s these little pleasures that i just love so much!!! n like i didn’t even notice but my friend brought to my attn like how he was acting kinda dumbstruck when he was talking to us n i was like lol fuck ur right that’s fucking hilarious n i had a new thing to laugh abt that i wouldn’t have if i had experienced it alone uk! like talking is literally what allows a relationship to flourish so w these 2 ppl where they just don’t communicate w me like that sounds like such a small flaw but the reason why it’s such a problem is that it literally stunts the friendships growth! how can we connect and etc if u can’t share what’s rly going on w me??????? or like why do u feel u don’t need to talk abt the truth?????? but ya as i was saying lol it’s ok i’ll just have to grind until i can get into my next school (hopefully, someone take me pls lol sos) but ya idk i suffer a lot during school but tbh it’s my fav ever so i’m so sad i’m graduating!!!!!! but like the only thing that’s making it ok is bc all of us are saying the same thing and it’s comforting that even tho we all dk what the fuck is going on i’m not the only one

so mostly sad bc i’m gonna miss my real friends here soooooooo much like w all my heart omg nothing will be the same again and i’m not ready! i’ll miss being seconds away and the fact that i can go over or call them like hoe get ready bc we’re going to the beach that’s down the street!!!! at my parents place the beach is half an hour away and i was in love but u had to drive like an extra 15-30 min to get to even nicer beaches n bruh let me tell u i rly did myself right by going to a school an actual 5 seconds away from the beach and granted besides us students it’s a rich white conservative person area but still it’s in a cute n clean area?? omg like this is just as good as it gets uk??? so ya blessed to be stressed

!?!?@#

#mind

2 notes · View notes

sundrenched-smilez · 7 years

Note

All the gentle asks!

🌸- What’s your favorite color?

purple, brown, and blue!!

🌺- Name a song that reminds you of a happy moment in your life

cant think of one!!

🌷- Do you have a best friend?

ive got a few!! i love + appreciate the heck out of em

💐- Are you in love?

nah but i think i have a crush

🍡- Name 3 things you love about yourself

my ability to create, my fashion sense, and how gay i am

🍬- What food makes you happy?

hot cocoa, nachos, tacos, chocolate covered mini donuts, and sun chips

🍭- List things that help you fall asleep

cuddling, smth to hug, or staying at a friends

🎆- Do you have a favorite person?

@wetmoon i cant fuckin tag u ilu @unstablebystander @wwaywward-vvagabond

🎀- What is your favorite tumblr account?

i dont have one

🛍- Who do you admire that you don’t talk to?

i dont rly admire ppl that much, its just like a blank for me. like theres ppl i cherish and appreciate but admiration isnt a word id ever use?? idk how much sense that makes

💕- List two reasons to love yourself

itll make things a lot easier

i dont deserve to be so hard on myself

💗- List three good things about your friends

huge cuties, i love that i can talk to them and b honest w my feelings, and that we can all talk abt how gay we r

🦄- What’s your dream job?

storyboarding or doin smth for su

💒- If you could live with anyone, who would it be?

im not sure, someone who doesnt mind me bein half nude all the time, and that i can comfortably talk and hang out with + mb kiss and cuddle a lot, so ideally someone im dating and like at that point with

🍉- What would you do if you had one day with unlimited money to treat yourself?

id buy all the gold/etc i could so i could have money to spare after the one day, id buy a car, a motorcycle, id change my name, pay off my rent, and my line of credit, get so much clothes, pay like 100k to everyones paypal whos struggling on this site, get some groceries, dye my hair, get some piercings and tattoos, buy some land and a home in several states, get some furniture and decorations for my home, buy a mop and a vacuum, send money 2 me pals, pay back my rm, buy a new 3ds and several games, a switch, rly fancy bath bombs and tea, eat at a buffet, get a record player and some music for it, get everything from my wishlist on amazon and on here, buy several mugs and things online, diagnose all my mentall illnesses professionally, and get a nice pair of boots and some cool shoes. mb a cat also

🍂- List simple things you can do to make yourself happy everyday

get enough sleep

drink water

eat enough

take it easy on myself

understand that im enough for ppl + i deserve a nice life

what happened is behind me and i should live to see better days than those before me

🍁- List things you can do to make other people happy

remind them how much i appreciate them

listen to them and help them thru stuff if they need to vent, or need help w smth

encourage them to keep doing well as they are, and remind them that they’ll do great things

make sure they know i care abt them and that i rly enjoy their presence

2 notes · View notes

keiths-salt · 7 years

Note

(1/6) as a kl shipper, i wanna say from the bottom of my heart: thank you thank you thank you. so many times i've wanted to shout stuff like "why do yall hate k/eith so much" and "you guys never cared abt s/hiro or a/llura, let alone s/hallura" and "why do you want so bad for this writer/artist to be a p/dophile godDAMN" like, holy shit. u beautiful salty jem of a pearl at the bottom of this tumultuous fandom ocean. -

- (2/6) even your blog title is golden, bc it feels like so many people are so deluded, trying to make a ship, something you’re supposed to sit back and enjoy, into a sort of spiteful activist bullshit-filled “movement” like what??? and telling folks to unfollow if they ship s/haladin bc they’re “cleaning out they’re blog”, like, fuck off??? sorry but here’s a salt-filled rant and i don’t know where else to put it so here! -

- (3/6) side note, i’m rly trying to get across to you that i’m NOT being sarcastic abt how much i want you to keep doing your thing, bc now they’re trying to tackle RACISM. in grosser and grosser ways every day! calling some of the only asian rep i see in media “white-passing” and saying that l/ance can’t have a last name that isn’t 1000% authentically cuban, whatever that means, buncha hypocritical racists. i have never been so angry and ashamed of a fandom. -

- (4/6) it’s gotten to the point where i, someone who ships kl and NOT sk (just my personal tastes), am rly happy to see any sk on my dash bc that poster must have been so brave! to post something as simple as sk hugging or smooching or whateverthefuck, i don’t care! you do you! fuck all these nasty haters, THEY’RE the toxic ones who just want someone to hate! yall deserve props! -

- (5/6) also, my compliments to the chef regarding that pining k/eith theory, it’s So Good, like i ghostwrote it somehow. the whole “projecting onto l/ance” thing (which is being done to a painful degree, i can testify) tries so hard to remove or overvalidate his flaws that it’s laughable. making lance into an insecure martyr angst-sponge hybrid with no agency and no room for personal growth, it’s sooo bad. -

- (6/6) and villainizing everyone else! reminds me of that jaden smith tweet: “when i die, then you will realize” shit he wrote when he was like 14. transparent af, like we get it, you’re insecure. and sometimes i WANT to hop aboard the black paladin lance train, but it’s always this idealized version of him that’s almost unrecognizable, and it’s at the expense of better black paladin candidates. goddamn ok, that was all my salt for the time being! much love, thank you and goodnight!

This is one of those asks that I’d love to keep in my inbox forever, but I’ve spent the last three days trying to come up with a response because you deserve one.

I think we’re all aware that tumblr is an explictly shitty place when it comes to “activism”. There’s this black-white-mentality that anything and anyone needs to be put in a box based on whether they agree with someone’s world views. Everything needs to conform to a specific label too, fiction is only allowed to be healthy, you condone what you enjoy etc., and the #1 argument by people on this site, also widely used by antis, is “Think about the children” but also “Expect everyone else to take care of you”.

People actively go into tags of pairings they hate and then yell about how triggered they are. Really? I’ve been repeatedly told to kill myself because I liked something they didn’t (and I’m talking about my 99.5% discourse-free main blog, not this one where I passively seek out conflict). You either conform to the popular way of thinking (shipping, in this case) or you’re irredeemable trash and a threat to the public. Any shit you get over having your own opinion will be justified because you deserve to be punished for thinking on your own. Tumblr mentality is the modern equivalent to medieval politics.

Fandom always has a terrible side - I know - but the Vo/tron fandom has become a place where people tear each other down rather than block the content they don’t want to see. Converting people to one’s own thinking has becume such an essential part of “activism” to the point where people forming their own opinions and learning about an issue on their own pose a threat.

In the Vo/tron fandom you see this toxic mentality with K/ance, rabid L/ance stans, anti Sha/adins and so on. You said everything I’ve been trying to say since I made this blog, and it saddens me that people can only safely voice their opinions and concerns when hidden behind the Anon feature.

Fandom isn’t always fun, but the Voltron fandom has become a place where people are too scared of posting their art or speaking up because they’ll legit receive death threats over liking a fictional ship. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job at pushing back against the anti side or if I’m just making it worse at this point. But salt, spite and messages like yours keep me going.

#Anonymous

97 notes · View notes

kkukkung · 7 years

Note

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

#i planned 2 answer more but im... sleepy...#soon... i will... catch up... and make this blog neater + more navigation-friendly #ask #compilation #Anonymous

2 notes · View notes

hobtea · 7 years

Note

We haven't talked in a while but i have a new found obsession with dan and phil so you'll be hearing from me more now. Plus what are your favourite phan headcanons?

omg hi!!!! im glad that you found another obsession like me :DDD and ashdfjdkfjd ive been waiting for this day to talk abt headcanons yet here i am, having no clue what to start w/ BUT UM some of my faves in fandom i guess?

- rn them adopting a little pupper is the next step in their relationship and when they do (keyword: WHEN bc they 100% will i know it) i like to think that it’ll be a female dog who is tiny and proper just like a princess and loves to sit on their laps and lick their faces and they spoil her so much bc she is their child :((

- we r all certain that there is a huge, huge chance they might move this year into an actual house and idc where that house will be or what it’ll look like but it’ll be spacious and beautiful and i cant wait to die while listening to them talk about their mortgage :’)

- i prefer......*drum roll*......if dan was the one who will propose to phil just bc it’d be a huge plot twist omg!!! like in the past, phil is usually the one to show romantic gestures and spoil dan and show his love through little/big actions etc. and i think now that they’ve grown into two very amazing people who are happy with themselves, dan would now have the confidence to do something like a proposal bc for the first time in his life he’s so sure of himself and he knows that he’s loved and he wants to be w/ phil forever and they certainly will be but a wedding ring would also be nice to have just because!!! also bc dan just cant get enough of expressing his love to phil verbally and well you gotta be verbal when proposing as well lol

- i mean this isnt rly headcanon it’s more of a #fact but... little spoon dan amirite (also how Amazing is it that everything u know that i ship involves the younger one being the taller one and also the extra soft one who likes to be cared for UMM)

- phil often falls asleep with his glasses on while reading a book in bed and so dan, who is usually awake for a lil longer, just smiles and shakes his head bc how cute! and he carefully removes phil’s glasses and the book from his chest and sets them on the nightstand and then climbs into bed alongside phil and pulls the blanket up to their shoulder and phil will stir a lil from the commotion and he’ll mutter “hey i was reading that..” and dan will giggle and kiss phil on the nose and tell him that he can finish it tomorrow but phil has already fallen back to sleep with his arms around dan :/

- when they’re not lazy by ordering pizza or take out, they sometimes cook meals together but usually phil cooks bc dan is a spoiled babe and also bc it allows him to sit up on the counter or loiter around the kitchen and ramble on and on abt something while phil hums to show that he’s listening and occasionally pauses to ask dan to taste the food and see if it needs anything added and that is dan’s favorite part he likes being the taste tester and likes it when phil feeds things to him

- favorite places to cuddle: the sofa and phil’s bed. dan usually uses the second bedroom for work related stuff or when he just needs a lil bit of space to think abt things and when he’s finished he will join phil on the sofa or the bed and he doesn’t even have to say that he wants cuddles he just wiggles into phil’s arms and they naturally shuffle around to accommodate each other’s long limbs and then they’re cuddling for like 3 hours straight

- dan is rly clingy but i think phil is also lowkey clingy like he won’t be loud and whiny about it when they’re separated in the same way that dan is but he’ll look at stuff and think to himself “omg i gotta tell dan about this he’ll love this” about literally everything

- texting: phil sends big paragraphs with many emojis while dan sends multiple texts in a row consisting of 4-5 words each bc that’s how extra he is and phil’s phone’ll say that he has 20 new messages but rly dan is just reminding him to get more cereal while he’s out

#headcanon #phan #phan ramblings #calums-prince

17 notes · View notes