#abuse will do that to a mf

[zeb-z]

“Even if it’s not my fault, it’s still my accident, it’s still my mess. It’s still something that - exists, because I do” oh. and he just doesn’t know another way to help, either, because all his life has been screwing up without helpful direction in order to meet impossible standards, and so there is no other way than to bleed himself dry. for the cause, for a friend in need, for anyone he doesn’t know. especially for the problems that he himself creates, because to him his pure existence has always been the problem, because the elders were fucked as hell and traumatized him to no end - so even causing problems is a sin. a single mistake is a sin. it always has been. and it’s rough trying to learn anything other than that mindset - but Jay and Chip won’t let him struggle alone.

and it’s like - that’s what comes with being raised the way he was. punished for imperfection, but there’s no guidebook, no definition of perfect. and so perfect is never good enough anyway. it’s a trap and there is no winning, so there’s nothing else to do but take the blame and bear it, and internalize it. and it makes actual failure and actual mistakes that much more painful. of course responsibility needs to be taken for your actions - but when you’ve been taking responsibility for everything, up to and including the literal fate of the world, all of your life, every outcome is your fault. and guilt only builds, and resentment only festers. of course he hates the elders for how they treated him. of course he hates himself.

he’s grabbing his own destiny and making his own choices - but the thing about making your own choices is that there are so many of them. there’s no destiny to blame anymore. and all you can do is the best you can. and it’s not always going to be good enough. he’s learned plenty about failure, but with Jay and Chip around, maybe he’ll learn about second chances, and self forgiveness. maybe he’ll learn that accidents aren’t always met with extremes. and that he’s not the only one left to deal with a mess if he slips up and breaks something.

#after their talk and their big spar part 2 and everything I’m choosing to hope for the up and up #I just. I dunno. again. y’all ever think about how he never lays on hands to heal himself? because I do #I’m calling it what it is tw for the tags here but #passive suicidality. and it’s scary and tough to deal with especially under these conditions he’s under and it’s like #he’s someone who can be seen as bigger than life almost a moral role model. a hero of sorts. and still he thinks he’ll never be good enough #abuse will do that to a mf #but like. idk jay shot him and he forgave her. and chip can be a downright bastard and he still cares for him. as much as his own #morals and nature have rubbed off on the other captains they’ve also rubbed off on him. I mean sarcasm? pranks? #chip is valuing others more and more. and so maybe gillion will value himself more and more. yknow? #after every mistake he’s made and the others have made they’re still crew. family. and ain’t that somethin? #I dunno. taking responsibility isn’t just bleeding yourself out as retribution. there has to be a balance. and for gillion (and chip tbh) #that’s difficult. and something I am hoping they will continue improving on #idk. I have many thoughts without full articulation I’m just kinda spinning them all in my brain yknow #jrwi riptide 86 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #character analysis #z speaks

[boycaca]

Will never forgive genshin fandom for that toxic genshin yaoi poll on twt and getting mad when dottoscara was winning. Like. What did you expect. That is the ONLY toxic yaoi on that poll. They are the token old man toxic yaoi of genshin and i will not stand around and listen to people slandering them when they are constantly talking about how much they love toxic yaoi but then whine when the REAL toxic yaoi comes in. Weaklings. Cowards. They are afraid of dottore exploring scaramouches robot body and scaramouche wanting to strangle dottore with murderous (and maybe kinky) intent. You will never get them like i do

#they are my favourite old hags if you couldnt tell #mfs call haikaveh toxic when they just be arguing sometimes.. WHERE IS THE TOXICITY THERE BRO #‘but ddtscr arent toxic theyre abusive!’ do you know what a toxic relationship entails #dottoscara #dottore #scaramouche #genshin

[voidyyzz]

Just letting yall know that if ANY of yall ship cyalm and strato DNFI.

DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

#voidyyzz textposts #adventure forward 2 #adventure forward #that shit is FUCKING DISGUSTING and you better keep it FAR away from me #we do NOT accept mfs that ship abuser x abuser’s victim in this house.

[obscenicon]

hey okay i dont know what about my blog made it seem like im okay with "pro contact" or ""complex contact"" ppl interacting with me. there is no fucking nuance when it comes to whether or not its okay for adults to sexually abuse children. if you are either of the above i think you are horrifying and you need to stay far far away from me and children generally

#also if you think that being against adults sexually abusing children is just 'discourse' that 'divides your community' #then you need to take a long fucking look at the communities youre in and the ppl youre around #some of you radqueer mfs following me need to do some self reflection #bcs being against the assault of childreb is not petty discourse lmao #and if yall think im vaguing about anybody who doesnt deserve it here im not. this is not about anybody whos been unfairly accused #this is about somebody who followed me yesterday whos dni included 'ppl who are strictly anti contact. bcs theres nuance' #csa mention

[sawtual]

what happened to her sparkle 💔

#obsessed with the difference its kind of everything to me. tbh. #text #I NEED TO DRAW PRE AND POST CRASH NAT IMMEDIATELY ACTUALLY #grahhh #what 0 substances to abuse while experiencing trauma will do to a mf #yellowjackets

[slutdge]

my psychiatrist admitted he's unsure about how to advise me in our session today cause my situation is so horrific there's no drug or therapy he can prescribe to fix it so lets pop bottles cause i won the gold medal in mental illness wooooo!!!! 🍾 🥂

#dont fucking talk to me aboit ''it gets better'' no it doesnt ill be trapped in hell forever what kind of a fucking life is that #just shut the fuck up i dont care yes im satisfied dying miserable and alone #if at least thats the first time ive ever had autonomy and dignity #anyways no im not gonna do it right this second but i really cant take another ''youll get better'' message #when theres no guarantee #why cant toxic positivity mfs ever get a grip and say ''what youre going through is bad and abusive'' #instead of waterboarding you with ''it gets better'' #k i need to go drink myself into a coma now goodnight yall ✌

[meatmensch]

Jamie: I'm gonna buy the whole team PS5s. They'll fucking love me. Ted: Yeah, but, you know, some folks might also consider that buying affection. Jamie: Exactly. Yeah, what better thing to spend money on than love?

This exchange from S2E03 is really depressing. This is a learned behavior. His dad is scum of the Earth. We know from S3E06 that, when Jamie was in his teens, his dad was trying to act like a super-dad, and buying him stuff, like trips to Amsterdam, and tickets to matches, and sex. He thinks money equals love dawggg 😭

#there is such tremendous financial abuse and manipulation in my family i recognize that shit from a mile away #my posts #ted lasso #should i write a fic in which roy and jamie both go crazy when they first start dating bc jamie is used to the 'love' language of gifts and #roy is a quality time mf?...oh. that could be so delicious #roy hanging out with him all the time but being stingy ('waitrose; is it? who am i talking to; the fucking queen?') coz that's just how he #rolls and jamie being like oh dear god. Does he hate me? #or or or. a fic abt roy giving jamie gifts but like. dinky ones. tchotchke ass gifts‼️ 'babe i got u this weird crow figurine at a charity #shop for u. it was 1 quid. do u like it' and jamie bursts into tears coz omg. gifts don't have to be scary... #inspired #jamie tartt #royjamie

[difeisheng]

.

#just. need a space to ramble about di feisheng and being able to stare his abusers and captors in the eye #and get that revenge and closure. i'm glad he got that #and while his relationship with jiao liqiao is definitely the thing in this show that's horrified me most so far #i think it was fascinating to portray that dynamic and how women can be fucked up in relationships with men sometimes #like abuse is still abuse it doesn't matter what the gender is #it was a brave take to do their arc honestly and xiao shunyao and wang herun fucking sold it #but anyways. di feisheng breaks out and breaks the cycles and it doesn't have to happen again. rest easy a-fei #i am seriously bracing myself for the last two eps though because that mf zeng shunxi said there were two endings #and if it's one based on canon im not optimistic for multiple things #okay. i will go to sleep. just. di feisheng means a lot to me. sigh #ashton originals #mysterious lotus casebook #mysterious lotus casebook spoilers

[pissfizz]

These bitches are literally the exact same character and I want to hit them both with a truck

#biggest differences are that hiromi is also physically abusive #(idk if mafumom is or not I haven’t read a lot of stories but I haven’t seen anyone mention it) #and also that whole mafuyu has slowly realized what her mom has done to her is fucked up and has started working to distance herself from - #-her i.e. running away. nagisa is so deep in the manipulation that he FORGAVE HER AND THINKS HE OWES HER #mf literally said. ‘wait no she’s right she has given birth to me and given me a place to live and food to eat I guess I do owe it to her - #-to let her use me as a literal doll and suffer through her abuse :)’ #prsk #assclass #abuse mention #<- jic

[momett]

genshin mfs who say they want toxic yuri but flandarize eimiko so much they aren't even the same characters anymore...

#p #like a creepy overprotective foxgirl and a deeply broken and traumatized woman who would do literally anything to keep her status quo? #thats literally the best yuri #you mfs don't want toxic yuri you can't even watch PMMM without calling homura an abuser #genshin impact #eimiko

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅 #and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :) #honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy??? #but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

[junibugs]

ppl when smut is written ab a fictional character that doesn’t exist outside of a script: 💔😡👊🏻

ppl when actual children are sex trafficked and forced into child labor that they actively support: 🩷😋😊🥰❤️

no fr. complaining about fictional literature whole time they sitting at home, buying from shein, amazon, h&m, etc, have a carbon footprint heavier than the core of the sun, blab about how sex work is empowering, couldn't recognize the signs of trafficking even if someone had a "trafficking victim" sign on their damn forehead, can't recognize that the most popular pro choice arguments are blind to racism, and on top of all that they'll have the audacity to degrade, insult, and water down the effects of real life issues by equating them to fiction and refusing to recognize the nuance of the situation

#tw: mentions of child abuse #tw: mentions of sex trafficking #tw: discourse #i'm bored of this conversation because mfs like this do not care about understanding #they only care about being ''right''

[luvrhyune]

i want someone to look at me the way han looks at minho

#im so soft #he looks at him with so much love :(( #and like a really big smile #I WANT THAT #THIS ISNT FAIT #why do i date weirdo’s & abusers & unfaithful mfs #IM SICK AND TIRED

[blackpilljesus]

Isn't feminism the reason why housewives have better rights

It is. Moids cant be trusted. Their "protect and provide" line is bs. Feminism helped the likes of hilary crowder have the chance to look for a job that isn't prostitution after her conservative husband (steven crowder) abused & abandoned her leaving her to look after her twins even though her husband has a net worth of $20 million & she wanted to be a housewife.

#I'm not a feminist but I do appreciate some feminists work over the years #female separatism #female separatist #zeeanswers #Mf was caught on camera abusing his wife & blames no fault divorce for his relationship ending

[ghcstofutopia]

what sure gets me about radfems is how they lose me every step of the way, even beyond the transphobia, because they genuinely do not give a fuck that i was not particularly hurt by anyone "male"

#delete later #i get why women that were preyed on and hurt gravitate to the ideology but also. i'm Not the typical victim to them so they kinda... #hate my ass LOL. like genuine plugging their ears and singing real loud over me #do they actually have anything to say about ppl hurt by other women. do they just not remember the experience of being lesbian #and being ostracized or assaulted or getting in trouble for going in 'safe spaces' because they think you'll perv on other girls #like actually. you say you're there for women that have been hurt and done wrong. but because i dont fit your weird manVwoman memo #you wanna kick me out on the streets too cause i KNOW from experience it's not just 'males' trying to use and abuse in the worst ways #even then i never like you mfs you let the ableism/antisemitism/racism/etc etc go completely unchecked. amazing ideology though if youre-- #a cis(usually het) neurotypical middle class skinny white woman

[bisexualseraphim]

I’m not like an expert on childcare or anything but I am a human person who has been around for over two decades and I have made a couple of interesting observations about kids during my time on this Earth:

If you scream at a small child, they are probably going to either scream back in defiance or start crying out of fear.

If you get rough with a small child and try to physically drag them around, they are probably going to feel trapped (because they are) and instinctively try to escape.

Doing either of these things will scare the child and make them significantly less likely to do as you ask and stay by your side because they don’t want to get screamed at or hit.

Now, this all might seem like common sense to you; and it absolutely is!

SO WHY THE FUCK DO MOTHERS OF TODDLERS AT THE SUPERMARKET KEEP BEHAVING THIS WAY

#Why is it legal for them to do this but it’d be illegal for me to give them a fuckin slap #(away from the child obvs so I don’t traumatise them further) #Like why the fuck are these people having kids when they clearly don’t even like them #You’re beefing with a 4 year old it’s so embarrassing for you #One time a little girl said she wanted a chocolate bar #And her mum went ‘yeah well I want loads of things but life isn’t fair like that’ ????????????????????? #Just say you have one at home or buy it and save it for when they’re really good or something Jesus it’s not hard #I hate how child abuse is so normalised #And people deny it because they don’t see this behaviour as abuse #These mfs act this way IN PUBLIC and most people don’t even blink #If they’re like this in public who knows what they do at home #Are you not ashamed of yourself are you not embarrazzed #child abuse #childcare #parenting #abuse #rant #vent #physical abuse #verbal abuse