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hourglassfish · 9 months

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On Season 1, Episode 7 : Part Two : I Know You’ll Be Listening: Marcus, McDonalds and Freedom

Gonna talk about my fave episode! Sheridan. It’s got some of my favourite music in it – and there’s a catching of breath after lots and lots of change, which gives you time to see characters relax, and have them show you who they are when not in a crisis, to hear them reflect a little, and to get sense of who they might want to be, and where they’ve come from.

It also develops the triangle of Marcus / Sydney / Carmy. Now when I say triangle here, I’m not talking about a love corner! This is a sydcarmy safe space, but I am interested in their work dynamics! Some of the most beautiful moments of the entire season happen when these three are in flow together, and they are united by food as artistic expression.

They are unique in this. Tina is more skill focused and analytic – Science Baby! – she likes upskilling, her game improving, doing things the right way. Sweeps is about his money, when they budget for the restaurant he immediately backs Tina up about their pay ‘she’s right about that Jefferson’, and he sits with Nat and Richie post apology, doubling down on the fact the restaurant needs to work, that all the workers are invested in that. Ebra’s relationship with food is a tangible connection to home – he cooks Suqaar, his memories of Somalia are never far from his dialogue. It roots him in two places at the same time, a delicate dance that all immigrants are constantly learning, re learning and revising the steps to. Richie’s relationship with food is concerned with people, place and tradition – beef has been cooked here like this since before you were born, people loved the spaghetti and you can’t get the recipe, a very clear sense of hot dogs NOT coming with ketchup (which is very Chicago, if I recall correctly).

But for these three? It’s a practice of freedom. At it's best, that's what creative expression is, it's freedom, and its why we fight for it so very hard. Let's get into it.

The episode starts with the building literally falling down around their ears – gas, electricity, plumbing – it’s all out. Look at Syd and Marcus's faces when the toilet blows up, I love it when these two react to something together -

Even within that, we see pops of joy for all of them – Marcus enthusiastically enthusing about his book, Sydney gently pitching a new dish, Carmy teaching – tape, roasted onions, his mom’s chicken.

When the fuse blows, Carmy is in the middle of dealing with the ghosts of the Beef – drug deals and the spectre of financial ruin, Covid and his own absence, addiction and Michael, Michael, Michael. Marcus is frantically trying to catch up with work, having gotten a little lost in his donuts (Carmy warns him about this repeatedly, he’s permissive, but he can see it’s becoming a problem). Sydney is my perfect daughter who never does anything wrong (HAH) so she is innocuously cooking a risotto which will lead to big problems later.

But it dictates where they all go in this next episode – Carmy is back enmeshed with his family, and in problem solving mode, so off he goes to Nat’s with Richie to be called a soft shitty bitch (😭 he does get a hug for going Al anon though). Marcus messes up, sulks a little, then is pulled back in (he’s deeply sensitive, and as we learn from season 2 and all he is carrying with his mum, vulnerable. He’s maybe the youngest team member?). But Sydney stays in her flow state, and it enhances her work, opens her creativity, and keeps her focused.

Sheridan clearly meant so much to her. She lost everything, and still lives surrounded by the boxes of it. One of the most poignant moments of her season comes when she stokes the fire for their makeshift post-gas, post-electricity BBQ and for a moment flashes back to some gorgeous prawns, cooking on a similar fire. She looks like she’s about to cry. When she serves food to people who she can see eat and enjoy it later that episode, we see her biggest grin – we won’t see her grin that big again until Sugar calls her a genius in Omelette. So much of being a line cook is being in a kitchen, alienated from your labour separated from the joy that what you’recooking brings to those who are eating it. The praise and enjoyment of what she’s created is a big motivator for her, as it would be for anyone, and this goes someway to explaining why she doesn’t want a dish she thinks is delicious (should have given Carm the one with the ribbon of brine babes) to not be eaten by someone.

If we hop back across to Marcus in this episode, we get some of Carmy being an excellent boss (that’s my boy!!!) – his conversation with Marcus (who appears to just be moping outside while the others work… young man get it together) is really beautiful. He’s curious. Not only does he ask him how he is, he really listens when Marcus talks about McDonalds, gets down on his level, does his very intense staring thing: he wants to understand where Marcus is coming from. He resists narratives of blame and fault – the job’s insane and fuck ups happen. But he is also clear about the bottom line (you gotta stay ahead of your work, that’s just that). He doubles down on the moment of empathy and connection by sharing a story of his own failures after a huge success. Marcus goes back to work with a huge grin on his face. For me, it’s as beautiful and important a conversation as the talk between Syd and Carmy in Brigade, another affirmation that The Beef can be different from all the other places they’ve been at.

This episode has a really beautiful symmetry to its narrative structure, so we later return to the three of them in the kitchen – Marcus quietly labelling up his eggs, with the neat lines Carmy favours (Wilco sings ‘I know you’ll be listening’), and Carmy and Syd cooking together (that prawn stock business looked wild delicious) and really talking and listening.

I used to work at a purveyor of moderately priced soaps. And the soaps are quite hippyish, but their business model is not, and it always felt like a contradiction, until I met their owners, who spoke about their business going bust in the 90s. They’re a huge global brand now, but losing that small, postal based service was clearly something that they carried with them, decades later. It is, like any grief, something that informs many of their decisions, for better or worse, especially because they parted ways with another brand where they felt stifled, to set up their own thing, centring their values. I think about them a lot when I think about Syd, and my own business.

It is not lost on me that Syd talks here about money – getting too big too fast, fucked credit, bad decisions. The bad credit especially sticks with me, because that shit traps you. Makes renting, or making significant purchases hard, makes starting another business impossible – a bunch of doors shut and they don’t reopen for years, and you are reminded of it constantly. It puts all her creativity in a box – the same way that the mechanical efficiency of Mc Donald’s inhibits what we are to learn is a prodigious talent in Marcus, out of sight. That failure is always there for her, and I think it’s why she is so quick to look at where the Bear is haemorrhaging money and want to find solutions. There is a chance here. She grabs it. She will give all her learning in exchange for that outlet.

PAUSE

The moment when Syd says ‘it was the first time I didn’t have a complete and utter psychopath behind me screaming and pushing and yelling’ and then they cut to Carm stood behind her is SO MEAN, it makes me CHORTLE every time, girl he’s RIGHT THERE! I know they were laughing in the edit when they put this bit together.

When she speaks about her failure, his response is ‘Heard’ – I don’t think he really knows how to respond – like… has Carmy ever failed? Syd’s face does a weird little thing when he says that. Heard. Listened? Does he really get the depth of loss for her? Has he ever experienced that kind of freedom in a kitchen? Cus if he hasn’t maybe he can’t really understand what it is to lose it. Maybe you can’t know that loss util you experience it. Carmy always knew The Beef was there. Was always trying to get back to it, had it as a north star. But Sydney built her own and then lost it, and it was her own fault*.

That being said, she does still ask him for help in this scene. It’s a clear progression in her letting her walls down after the veal stock fiasco of Brigade. Wilco comes in again –

This is what love is for To be out of place Gorgeous and alone Face to face With no larger problems That need to be erased Nothing more important Than to know someone's listening Now, I know you'll be listening

– these three have connected here, and are starting to build the bonds that are going to send Marcus on Carmy’s pilgrimage to Copenhagen. The Michael starts in this quiet moment.

But listening - hearing, retaining, actioning, bearing it all in mind - is the centre of this bond, and it fractures quickly when they stop doing that. They're still getting to know each other. Relationships in their infancy.

I think these moments – this episode – are important when we think about what happens in Episode 7, who quits and why. Not only are these the two newest recruits to the Bear, they’re also the two with the least connection to Michael, and emotional relationships with Carmy that are not haunted by his ghost. They’ve been Carmy’s quickest and most loyal supporters up until this point, and there is a clear sense of betrayal communicated during Review from all three. It feels like there was a shared understanding that Marcus’s creativity would be appreciated (that’s why he puts so very much into it) - that it would be different. But when he achieves his goal, one he has slept on the floor of The Beef for, it is met with aggression and destruction. There was an understanding that Syd walked away from kitchens because of the shouting pyscho, and Carmy is the only reason she has walked back. But it's a hard boundary for her, and Carmy regresses to that in a crisis. Carm has invested a lot of trust in these two, and feels betrayed, personally (why are you fucking with me x 4) by Marcus’s perceived lack of focus (he warned him) during said crisis and by risotto gate, as well as Syd’s leaving (what are you doing x4).

The Beef is not just a job for any of the characters, they all really care about it – but there is something specific about creative expression – the way in which it is the movement of the universe through you as a vessel, its uniquely human quality, the way it leaves shards of your soul littered throughout the world that is very specific, and I think Syd and Marcus both feel punished for their creativity here, but, more importantly, they both know it’s worth – and that’s a huge part of why they leave. They are giving more than labour, and they value it accordingly. As they should. I will keep saying it, again and again - I am glad they both leave, that they reject dysfunction and abuse. More importantly, I am glad that the show supports their decision - we don't see them apologise to Carmen because the writers frame his behaviour as not OK, in numerous ways. This framing is a part of the optimism The Bear, this belief that things can - and should - be better for it's workers.

It is not lost on me that the same people that wrote this episode are now on strike, and come from another industry that we know to be riddled with abuses. Some of us (me) know this from experience.

We should talk about risotto next.

This is part of a five part series! You can find the rest here:

Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

*in hindsight, this scene is a paralell to the moment in Pasta when they speak about the Michelin star call at Carmy's place. I think Sydney hears Carmy's dread, but I'm not convinced she's really listening, or connecting that with his 'trapped' from the previous episode's business pitch to Jimmy. These two, eh? It's not their fault they're in a TV show, but I wish they'd ask more follow up questions.

#the bear #marcus the bear #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

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shortpplfedup · 1 year

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Well it all kicked off this ep and no mistake.

Jojo is trying a very different storytelling style with this show from what he usually does. Instead of activity and chaos and constant movement, he's trying to do a more traditional building of tension to an explosion point. And it does show, that this is a wheelhouse that he isn't exactly familiar with, because the pacing, the flow, isn't quite right. The balance of the themes that the story wants to explore is affected by that. The driving theme is class, and the story is meant to explore class through the romance between a very rich boy and a very poor one who is forced into his world to serve him. But the direction sometimes feels distracted by other ideas that are perhaps more interesting or important to the auteur. The story beats are coming in some instances too close together and in others too far apart. The sitting in the moment that the style requires is undercut by restlessness in the editing and scoring. There were some scenes in this episode that felt like they would have been more effective as long-take scenes, where the camera needed to linger in silence, but that's not how Jojo works. Jojo likes stuff to be happening.

All this critique doesn't mean I don't like the show, in fact I do like it very much. I'm enjoying the story and the way I'm interpreting what I'm seeing on screen. There are certain scenes and sequences that I like very much. I would like to see Jojo try to stretch and grow in this style, because I think he has very interesting things to say about class and queerness in Thai society that sometimes get lost in his more bombastic approach. I realise that this work is experimental for him, and not his comfort zone, so I'm willing to forgive the wobbles as he works out how to put his stamp on this kind of story. It's strange for a filmmaker who is usually so assured to feel so tentative, but I like what it says that he was willing to try this, and I hope he tries it again.

In things that did work for me this week, I have to praise Pond. I've been questioning in my mind whether Palm is so stiff because Pond is stiff or whether Palm is meant to feel a bit out of step and uncomfortable to watch. This week I got my answer in that I'm now pretty sure this is mostly character work. The outburst of anger with Chanon's servile attitude, the maliciously compliant pisstivity displayed with Neung after Neung so cruelly embarrassed him, his annoyance with Ben's mere presence, even the way he passionately defends Neung to Maggie despite being angry with him; all showed an emotional colour that Palm has clearly been repressing up to this point. I'm interested to see Pond do more physical acting in the next arc of the story as they move into his world, his comfort zone.

Also working for me, the Maggie/Palm interaction, and Maggie counteracting the messages Palm is getting from literally everybody else in his life about his value as a person and where his duty lies. Everybody else expects Palm to subsume his own desires and put Neung at the centre of his life, because Neung is what's important. Even Chanon, his own father, when his son is IN THE HOSPITAL is berating him for not protecting Neung from himself before he bothers to ask whether Palm is ok. Maggie is the only one who acknowledges that Neung hurt Palm with his behaviour, and he has a right to feel angry and embarrassed. And she is the one who insists that he has to love himself first before caring for anybody else.

I was so frustrated with Neung this episode, but I think I was supposed to be. The fact that he overhears Palm and Chanon's argument at the hospital I think has a lot to do with the barrier he tries to re-erect between them for the majority of the episode. This is the first time he has seen Palm's real feelings about being made to take care of him and protect him, and it's after he has made a fool of himself by being whiny and jealous, and belittled Palm in the process. He wants to try and restore Palm's dignity somewhat, as well as his own, but he goes about it all wrong because the last thing he wants is to have a purely professional relationship with Palm. He wants Palm to desire his company, but he is disabused of that notion by the things he overhears at the hospital. I think if he had not heard Palm and Chanon arguing, he wouldn't have tried to buy Palm off with an expensive 'reward', and would have apologised a lot sooner than he did.

Poor, cowardly Ben. When it came time to prove his devotion, he fell short. Do I absolutely understand why Ben threw Neung under the bus, yes. Do I believe he feels genuinely bad about it, also yes. Do I think he was never going to do differently, also yes. Ben was never going to fight for Neung, and that's reinforced in the story, in how he's always there before and after Neung needs a champion, but he's never there in the moment. And the first time Neung needs Ben to be in his corner, he shrinks away. You can pinpoint the moment in the principal's office when Neung realises that Ben isn't going to stand up for him, and that's when he gets angry. I think it's been very clear why Neung was drawn to Ben, but I've never quite understood why Ben is drawn to Neung, and that's why he's always seemed sus and untrustworthy to me. But I get it now: Ben sees Neung's sadness, his deep melancholy, and that resonates with his own. He sees them as alike. He thinks Neung can understand him. What Neung also has though that Ben doesn't, and so he doesn't see it properly is rage. That is the part of Neung that Ben was never going to understand.

Surprisingly, the kiss on the rooftop felt like a bum note to me; I'm not sure where it came from. Yes, this is something both Palm and Neung have desired, but I don't understand why Palm was compelled at this point to cross the line. In fact, I'm not sure that he HAS crossed the line; it feels like he kissed Neung for Neung's sake, not for his own. He wanted to take away Neung's sadness in the moment, to make Neung forget his pain. In other words, this doesn't feel like Palm's own feelings bubbling up, but his sympathy for Neung. His joking around after underscores this; he's trying to distract Neung and cheer him up, knowing that he's worried about what he's going to face at home. The next morning though...

The next morning is different. I think Palm thought a lot about that kiss that night, about why he did it, how he felt and what it might mean for the future. And I think he might have been ready to make a real move next, but then all hell broke loose.

I've been pretty certain that Thanya is going to die, although it's not clear that she has at this point. Nominative determinism, Neungdiao. Neung ending up as the sole remaining member of his immediate family would make sense for this story. It would be cruel, to have Neung have both parents ripped away violently directly after they reiterate their love for him, but loss of innocence and awareness of the hardness of the world are hallmarks of coming of age stories and this one is no different. Poor Neung has been through so much in such a short space of time, he is in real need of some escape and tender loving care, and it looks like Palm and his mom will be providing that in the next arc of the story.

Stray Bullets

My suspicions have now moved off Ben, and onto Chopper in the case of the outing of Ben and Neungdiao. I know I said before my money was on Phum, but Chopper was acting real squirrely when he went to comfort Ben.

In other suspicions, the person behind the assassins this ep is either Kit or Phum's dad. Both have motive. Dark horse candidate: Chanon. He only got shot in the shoulder. Sus.

Interesting that Palm's mom left them before Chanon went to work for the family. Who was Palm living with in Chonburi then? Poor Palm, abandoned by both parents.

I was left a bit cold by the kiss, granted, but the hug on the rooftop made me cry. Watching Palm gather Neung up in his arms, and Neung holding onto him and wailing...OOF.

The fact that Palm knew exactly where to look for Neung was a nice touch, showing us how despite everything they have gotten quite close. Him getting more and more afraid of what Neung might do as he systematically eliminated all the options, stumbling on his way up to the roof and seeing Neung on the edge...a nice bit of filmmaking.

Neung making it 100% crystal clear to Palm that he was never in love with Ben 🤣

Thanya's gentle acceptance of Neung's sexuality, her intimation that she has always known, her reinforcement that his happiness is all that matters to her, was a beautiful scene.

#never let me go #never let me go the series #junior mafia #bl meta series

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guiltymepleasures · 5 months

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[Series Review] Trillion Game (2023)

8/10

Full disclosure. I saw so many clips of this that I decided to watch it. And yes, I decided to watch the live-action of My Happy Marriage because of those clips too.

I already saw it on Netflix and was curious but I didn't really want to add it to my long "to-watch" list. But here we are.

I only know two things when I decided to click on that first ep: one, that it was based on a manga and two, that the two actors from My Happy Marriage were here.

The premise was so preposterous you just know you're setting yourself up for yet another drama with impossible feats - and I wasn't wrong. There is no way their start-up company would rise up that quickly. But hey, I stayed for the cast.

Meguro Ren played one-half of the duo, the mastermind and master manipulator, Tennoji Haru, and he did it splendidly. I haven't read the manga so I couldn't really compare it but he gave off that conman street smarts with skills to the dot. He was awfully smiley here too so that was a bonus.

The other half, Taira Manabu, was played by Sano Hayato and though I enjoyed him being the kindhearted computer genius, I can't really say much more about his acting here. This is my first time seeing him and he was okay. He was painfully awkward as his character demanded him to be so there's that. We never really learned why Haru calls him Gaku. I thought we were gonna get a flashback. (Or maybe it was explained but it flew over my head.)

Completing the unlikely trio (from the OG duo) is the adorably cute Takahashi Rinrin played by Fukumoto Riko. I liked her character so much, especially her Torinrin AI ego. It was my first time seeing her in a drama as well and she kept reminding me of another actress. She was the moral compass the group badly needed (of course since Haru didn't have one and Gaku mostly followed Haru).

My favorite character (and actor) hands down was Kokuryu Kirika, played by Imada Mio. First of all, I never realized how deep (and sultry) her voice is. Or maybe she deliberately made it that way for her character, but I loved it. I love her in her boss bitch era. And her looks! Slay after slay! Okay, enough about her because I would be gushing.

The plot points of the drama were so outrageous (join a competition and blatantly cheat to win; make an AI online app but wait, it's not really AI and we will answer all inquiries real-time anywhere; make a game but not really, just say we're making it to get investors). It was a rollercoaster but it was enjoyable if you just go with the flow.

When I say, I stayed for the cast, I think you know which two I meant. I wanted to know what would happen to their characters but alas, this is not a romance manga and we only get a few sprinkles of interactions in each episode. And guess what, I ate those up. They make up 5 of the 8 points I gave tbh. I also liked the Gaku/Rinrin moments. I don't know if these (and the Haru/Kirika) interactions were in the manga or just additions in the series.

So yeah, they said "See you next game!" so I'm going to wait if that actually happens. I also want to know Haru's actual motivation because he clearly doesn't want a trillion dollars just for the heck of it.

#trillion game #meguro ren #imada mio #sano hayato #fukumoto riko #tennoji haur #gaku #taira manabu #kokuryu kirika #takahashi rinrin

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wolfknightpoe · 1 year

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Duality - The Knight vs. The Wolf (Open RP)

Starter 1

Sir Vincent looked out upon the land as he had his morning coffee. Cartorra's flowing fields of corn, alfalfa, and barley being tended to by the simple people further inland from his seaside castle. The only thing that broke up the enjoyable morning silence as the sun rose was the incessant clanging of metal and cutting tools coming from floors below, the dwarves and his sister, Abigail, clearly hard at work in the docks below. Finishing his coffee, he turned his attention to a mirror nearby.

Wait… A mirror? Here in his presence? Surely, he’d covered such portals a fortnight ago. But here one was, fully showing him, and his wonderful guest who was seeing to his morning glory with their supple lips. And yes, the fellatio was pleasurable, but it wasn’t enough to keep the hairs from raising on the back of his neck as his image swirled into a black mist. A black mist he knew all too well that began coalescing into a familiar shadowy hound with glowing amber eyes. The Mad Doctor’s pet would soon escape imprisonment if he didn’t act quickly. So as his current companion came about to get a breath, they were thrown aside, the coffee mug spilling its contents over them before shattering against the floor. He didn’t acknowledge their scream of pain as the hot liquid scolded them, too focused on busily cutting off the beast’s connection to this world with a heavy sheet. “Not today foul creature… Not today.” Then he turned his attention to his company. "Many pardons... Harm was not my intention. Let me see to your wounds..." (If you want to have been a companion of his for the evening prior)

Wait… A mirror? Here in his presence? Surely, he’d covered such portals a fortnight ago. But here one was, fully showing him in the buff. The hairs rose on the back of his neck as his image swirled into a black mist. A black mist he knew all too well that began coalescing into a familiar shadowy hound with glowing amber eyes. The Mad Doctor’s pet would soon escape imprisonment if he didn’t act quickly. The coffee mug crashed to the floor, spilling it's contents as he rushed forward. He didn’t acknowledge the shattered porcelain, too focused on busily cutting off the beast’s connection to this world with a heavy sheet. “Not today foul creature… Not today.” A moment passed before he calmed himself, now hearing his sister calling for him that he had a guest. He quickly donned his clothes and made his way downstairs to address the newcomer. "Hail citizen! What brings you to my humble keep this day?" (If you want something casual)

Starter 2

Today was a rare good day... Vincent was clear headed for the first time in a while. And he intended to hopefully keep it that way. At least the best he could. Sure the medicine wasn't pleasant, but it meant he could have a day in reality. As he got out of bed, he took a marker and went over to his calendar, doing his usual to keep track of how long his episodes had been lasting by marking the days he was lucid per his therapy directions.

"Not counting the full moon..." He counted up the prior marks, and let out an exasperated sigh. "Two months this time... Hope I didn't cause any particular trouble while I was absent from myself." He then went about his morning routine and readied himself for his day, making sure to grab his next dose before he headed downstairs to check on the job site and the crew before he'd head out into the city to pay for breakfast sandwiches at a nearby cafe for everybody. It was the least he felt he could do since they put up with their boss's issue when it cropped up.

On his way out the door, he noticed someone standing there. "Morning. Can I help you?" (If they don't know each other) "Good morning! How are you doing today?" (If they know each other.)

@covairecitystarters

#wolfknightpoe #ccitystarter

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sansblues2 · 2 years

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Hello! I'm back with another drawing, and this time I actually like it.

There's quite a lot to talk about this drawing, so I'm going to separate it into sections, beginning with two curiosities:

1° This was the first drawing I completed after the end of my art block, which means he has been ready for a long time.

2° This is the drawing responsible for the post I did yesterday. Apparently, I end up forgetting the most important trait of Rasticore: his cybernetic arm.

Also, I forgot about the spines on his shoulders and the spots on Toffee's hands.

I also added the purple shade on Rasticore's cheeks.

What was this drawing supposed to be:

In the beginning, this drawing was motivated by how much I loved the fact that those two are in a relationship, and right away I wanted to draw them in a kind of domestic situation.

Basically, Star would go to their house( for reasons ), and they would receive her, and Rasticore would make some cookies and tea for his partner while Toffee talked with Star. That's why Toffee is with that confused/ question mark expression, and why he is holding a cup of tea and Rasticore is holding a plate of cookies( don't worry, it is not chocolate chips, I almost made this mistake ).

I know this situation doesn't make any sense, but clearly, I just wanted to draw them and I needed an excuse to do so.

But you might be asking, why are they in a green background with flowing keys? For only one reason.

I don't like doing backgrounds. They take too much time and I'm never happy with the results. So at the time I finished the characters, I wasn't into doing the background anymore. But at least I tried to do something different with the keys, and I like it. To be honest, it came out of nowhere, I was just drawing a single key and then I started putting different shades of color here and there, and I liked the results, so I just multiplied around the background and called it a day.

And to finish this section about the drawings ( see that it is just about the drawings, I still have other things to talk about ), why is their style so different from Sage's? Well, is not just because my style is already different from the author, but because of an idea, I had the moment I read the first chapter of their amazing fanfic and noticed that the characters were different from the original ones.

The idea was: I would do all the different characters( including the ones who are basically like the originals but had some different details) in the Star vs the Forces of Evil style. That's why things like their claws are different from the ones seen in Sage's drawings, having more to do with the ones the lizards have in the original series. Still, I tried my best to make them look as similar to the ones made by Sage.

And just so you know, I already have the drawings of the other 4 characters. They are done. I only need to make the text of the post, which I hope will take less time than this one, but no promises.

This is it for the drawings, I still wanna talk about the characters but this has more to do with me explaining how much I love them than something to do with the drawing itself. So if you wanna skip this I won't mind at all. I hope you liked the drawing, and I see you in the next one. Have a good day.

Now about the characters:

Toffee: My beloved. I already liked the original one, and I felt very sad when he died, and like many other people, I was expecting his return. Only to have a quick reminder in the last episode and an acknowledgment that he was right all along.

But Sage’s Toffee, I just love them. I've never thought I could care so much about a character. I always liked villains more than heroes, but I never liked one so much to the point of not caring at all if the hero will succeed or not. I like your Star ( much more than the original ), but I would watch her being defeated with a smile if that meant Toffee would win, sorry Star. I don't know what it is, if it is their personality, how calm and composed they look, but we still have some moments of weakness where they show fear, anger, or stress. I especially love the addition of the little twitch in their eyes after their famous smile on the " Storm in the castle ", or when they are watching Bullfrog running between Star's friends on " Mewnipendance Day " and they don't just close their hand in a fist, but they give a deep breath like they were trying to calm themselves down, I don't know if it is because of the reenactment of the " The Great Monster Massacre " or because they were so close to getting rid of Bullfrog so they could continue their plains. Or the explanation you gave to their sudden change of expression when Marcie said they were boring, is something that was never explained in the original, and that not only gives a reason, but gives more information about their character, showing how much he cares about their people, how they don't like when somebody says something bad about them, but adds to their personality as they say a" you will see "like they just can't accept somebody would think less about their people, even if that person is just a girl from earth who doesn't have the slightest knowledge about their race. Or if it is how mysterious their past is, the original one had a mysterious past too, but it was because the authors gave us such little amount of information about him that even shifts from his personality, like the " You are boring " line, were never explained. But yours have actually many information about their past, and the people they were connected to, and yet, we still don't have a clear answer, which is good, that was how it was supposed to be, so we could theorize about them and get even more attached to the story as we try to solve their past.

I actually had more to say about them, but this post is getting quite big, so I'll leave it to other posts.

Rasticore: Oh rasticore~ His character wasn't very important in the original. Yeah, he attacked Marco and Star once, and he had a relationship with Miss Heinous or at least knew her. I feel kind of ashamed to say that I used to ship them. Only when the series ended and I rewatched some of the episodes I saw how their relationship was weird and even abusive, how Heinous wouldn't accept a “ no“ from him, and literally destroyed his body only so he couldn't run away from her, and now that I think about it, his line of " look for me in ten years and maybe we can stay together" could be him trying to distance himself from her, without hurting her, and if you say " Well, that was kind of obvious ", then I'm sorry. I'm a little slow. For you to see, I was only able to identify how many things were wrong in the final because I watched a video about it. Before it I was fine with it, I didn't like some things here and there, but overall I was okay and missed many of the mistakes.

But anyway, he was a good character, a nice guy, appear sometimes beside Toffee, in the battle when Toffee loses his finger, and in that flashback with the teen version of Toffee, that ruined Toffee, since it showed that he didn't have actually any motive to hate magic, and just liked to feel superior to other monsters and didn't care for the monsters out of his race, but that was it.

Sage’s Rasticore is a great improvement. He is still the nice guy, who cares about his race, his partner, and his friends, and is prompt to help others even if he doesn’t have a very good relationship with the person, like when he saves Heinous. And yet, just because he is nice, that doesn’t mean he can’t be scary, like when he warns Star to not do again what she did to Toffee, or when he is talking to Meteora, and I just love this line of thought “ He could talk her down, she did seem to listen to him, but the thing was... he didn't want to. This was too perfect to stop. “ I just like it a lot, it shows that he isn’t above destroying and consequently killing if it will help the monster’s cause and it is confirmed by the flashback of him and Toffee, and I like that apparently it was him the one who convinced Toffee of taking a more illegal approach in the “ queens “ situation, it gives do much more important to his character.

To finish it, I really like their relationship, and I am always happy to see the interactions between them, and, just as a curiosity the first thing I said when I discovered they were partners was “ Awww so cute “, which it is strange considering I never shipped them before, but I don’t take it back.

And that is it, I know this was a very long post, and I wish I could say I won’t do it again, but I will. People who came from my other blog knows how I like to explain my drawings, the thought behind them, and the details on them. And I won’t waste the chance to talk about how much I like some characters.

So yeah, all I can give is that the next post will probably be shorter, but no promises. Thank you to anyone who read until the end, if you didn’t, that you at least liked the drawing, go check @sageoftheuniverse awesome SvTfoE Au, and I see you in the next post. Bye~.

#this was a very long post #i'm sorry #star vs the forces of evil #samatfoe #fanart #drawing #svtfoe

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reidjumpers · 3 years

Note

would you ever write something along the line of the minimal loss episode reimagined. so instead of emily being in the ep it’s the reader and spence has the biggest crush on her. it kills him knowing that she’s getting hit and bruised. yeah i don’t know if you would do it but i love that idea.

GUESS WHAT I really love this idea too so I tried to rewrite Minimal Loss reimagined. Please emphasize on tried.

“Which one of you is the FBI agent?”

Spencer could feel his blood run cold at the question Benjamin Cyrus fired at him and you. He subtly glanced towards your direction, pressing his lips and tried his best to maintain his composure. He watched you shift on your seat a little bit, eyeing the gun on Cyrus’s hand intensely.

“Why do you think one of us is an FBI agent?” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows in faux confusion.

“God will forgive me for what I must do,” Cyrus said calmly. Too calmly. Spencer gulped as he heard the clicking sound of his gun. He caught the sight of you gaping and eyes widened in horror as a gun aimed against his head.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“One of you does. Who is it?”

“Me,” your voice was firm, slicing through the thick tension. Spencer slowly turned his head towards you with a wide eye. You glared at him with an eye that screamed don’t you dare at him, determination and fear swirled together in your eyes made him shiver. He could feel dread and helplessness slowly sinking in. “It was me.”

Cyrus lowered his gun that aimed at Spencer, slowly turned his direction towards you. Spencer shot you a glare and silently demanded you for explanation at your stupid sacrifice. You had just deflated your own fear and bargained for your safety in order to save him. There was a bitter taste curled and overwhelmed him at the tip of his tongue upon knowing he couldn’t do anything to diffuse the situation.

Spencer let his shoulder sink a little bit as Cyrus silently holstered his gun into his pants, allowing himself a brief relief upon knowing that he didn’t have to watch your demise today. It took everything inside him not to jump and inserted himself in between you and Cyrus as he yanked you to the ground by hair and a sound of your pained whimper filled the room. He couldn’t even bring himself to flinch when a rifle aimed towards him as his eyes fixated on the sight of you being dragged across the room.

“I told you not to put me in this position!” Cyrus snarked, releasing his hold on you and slammed you to the concrete floor. Spencer bit the inside of his cheeks and could feel the tip of his fingertips go frozen as dread and fear pumped rapidly into his system.

The sound of you being slapped filled the room made him flinch a little bit. He glanced briefly towards the rifle against him, giving him a brief break from the horrifying sight before him. Spencer could feel anger and disappointment filled him with the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything besides watching you being beaten mercilessly by Cyrus. It was supposed to be him. It was supposed to be him who took all the beating instead of you. You were everything good left in the world and you are a living reminder that there are lights and hope in life despite all the horror and worst face of humanity he was constantly being contaminated with.

What would he do if you were gone then? The brief horrifying thought flashed before his eyes as he watched Cyrus slammed your defenseless body into the ground again. He could feel hot tears prickling in his eyes at the thought of living his life in void and helplessness if you ceased to exist before his eyes. Spencer collapsed his balled fist into his lap as the realization that he couldn’t live without you washed through him.

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut as your body was slammed against the wall and hit the mirror, refusing to picture the sharp shard of glass cutting your skin.

“Proverb 23rd tells us that bloods and wounds cleanse out evil,” Cyrus recited as he yanked you by the collar again and slammed you against the wall. Spencer could feel anger and disdain boiled inside him as he watched your body helplessly fall into the floor after the impact of your collision with the wall.

“I can take it,” you said with a firm voice. Spencer caught your eyes briefly as your eyes flickered in between him and Cyrus that stood in between you and him.

His heart fell into the bottom of his stomach like a heavy sandbag. He knew what you meant from your firm stares alone. You only said that to reassure him and signal the team outside not to come in a rush. It was a minimal loss situation, Spencer had concluded. He drew a sharp breath as he mentally prepared himself for a situation where he couldn’t possibly save everyone and had to accept however many people he could save while others perished.

Spencer glanced up to meet your eyes again before Cyrus moved to block his sight. He furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of your eyes screaming I’m fine, I’m okay at him with blood flowing freely from your broken nose. Dread settled painfully in his bones that the possibility of the team having to choose between your life or his was too close than he liked.

He blinked his eyes to shoo away the tears that threatened to fall. He couldn’t afford it. He couldn’t risk blowing up another cover that guaranteed his life when you had sacrificed yours for him.

Cyrus beat and slapped you for another round with disdain painted clearly on his face. “Pride comes before the fall,” he said as he punched your stomach and slammed you to the floor, thinking you were antagonizing him as you repeatedly said you could take it. Spencer let out a relieved sigh as Cyrus took a step back from you and left you shaking with pain on the ground, instructed Cristopher to tie you up and took you upstairs.

Not today, he reassured himself. Forcing himself to be satisfied and grateful for your spared life. Not today.

***

Spencer had just successfully coaxed Cyrus into testing the negotiator for the FBI and proving them that they were not a liar and ensuring your safety. Disgust and anger brewing at the pit of his stomach every time Cyrus glanced his eyes towards him. He somewhat marveled at the plain trust Cyrus gave him effortlessly. The memory of him beating you hadn’t left his mind, still painted fresh and clear as if it still happened before his eyes. He had to mentally restrain himself from glaring in disgust at the thought of Cyrus molesting a child and beating you up until bloody and bruised.

“What is it, Christopher?” Cyrus addressed his man that had been trying to shot down Spencer’s suggestion regarding the situation. Only then Spencer turned his attention fully at him who had been pacing around in agitation repeatedly.

“Some of them had been talking about leaving,” he sighed.

“Leaving?” Cyrus pressed his lips together as Christopher affirmed his question. Spencer balled his fist and hid it inside the pocket of his pants as he waited in antagonizing anticipation with whatever next step Cyrus would take. “Wake the baby. Let’s get them meet the orphan that they made.”

Spencer nodded mutely at Cyrus’s decision. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding this whole time, letting himself loose a little bit and allowed himself to feel relief washed through him. Cyrus had taken the big bait and he had ensured your safety with his lies and negotiation skill. It was the least thing he could do after what you did for him.

He knew he would be damned if he couldn’t get you out of his god forsaken place alive. For now he just has to give and surrender with whatever fate is waiting for him into the hands of the team waiting outside. He took one longing glance outside from the window, wishing that he would be staring into the starless sky with you right now.

***

Spencer watched from the back silently as the members of the cult filled the empty chair inside the chapel one by one. What was once an empty and quiet chapel now buzzing with life and the air was stale and raked with fear. The negotiation test went as smoothly as Spencer could wished for. He heard Rossi rattling out your identity to Cyrus in exchange for your safety from a speaker phone as they released the orphan into the team outside.

You emerged from the opposite end of the chapel, a swarm of children and women pushed through from behind you. Spencer stared and watched the way the sunlight that slips through the chapel window fell into your skin. The glowing sunlight from behind your back casted a halo behind your figure. He noticed that your blood had been cleaned up and there were a few specks of dried blood on the collar of your shirt. Some newly formed bruises littered your face, angry and red and was a painful sight to behold. He hated it.

Cyrus was listing out names from the list he had written the day before as Spencer slowly made his way towards you. Everyone’s attention was focused on their leader calling out the names on the altar, but Spencer’s focus was solely on you. Your eyes were watching Cyrus solemnly as you leaned yourself into the wall to support your weight.

Spencer lifted his hand to touch your face and stopped midair before he realized a tad bit too late. His finger twitched painfully with a burning desire to feel you underneath his fingertips, but he couldn’t risk another round of beating and blowing up plans that had been rolling quite smoothly so far.

Guilt surged inside him like the sea, disdain and bitterness brewing and threatening to explode from the bottom of his stomach. He could feel himself dying a little bit inside at the frightening state you were in, all because you were sacrificing your life for him. For his sake when he wasn’t even sure he deserved it.

You finally acknowledged his presence and spared him a glance. Your eyebrows furrowed together in distress and Spencer had to restrain himself from the temptation to put his thumb in between your eyebrows and smoothen out your stress wrinkle between your eyebrows. If he could take away all your pain, he would.

“He looks pissed,” you whisper-yelling at him. Spencer couldn’t bring himself to respond to your words. Even after you took the downfall and hard beatings for him, you still think about other’s well-being instead of yours.

You took another glance towards him from the lack of response from his part. Your eyes scanned his face briefly before your lips twitched into a soft, reassuring smile. “I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Spencer shook his head, refusing to believe your words. “I’m so sorry,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and full of regret scratching his throat painfully.

“No, no,” you shook your head and quickly squashed his apology. “No apologies. We both know one of us has to take it.”

“But why should it be you?” Spencer hissed through his greeted teeth. His distress and agitation, and overall emotions that he had been trying to tuck and buried it away seeped into the surface. He could feel his mask cracking and threatened to be broken, and he was thankful for the roaring voice of Cyrus listing out names that masked his own. “Why should it be you? Why couldn’t it be me?”

“He had a gun against your head, Reid!” you hissed back with an equal amount of emotions laced on your voice. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t let them kill you. I know they would kill you first if one of us refused to answer. I can’t, Spencer, I—” you took a sharp breath and glanced away from his prying wide eyes. He could hear your voice wavering and your eyes glossed with tears. “Look at the people he’s releasing.”

“It’s the one who failed the loyalty test,” he observed. The previous slip of emotions was being put to the back of his mind again as he noticed the new fact he just found. “I’ll get word to the team, wait for the sign from outside indicating what time the raid will come.”

You stared at him with a wide eye, confusion and fear swirled together. You looked so vulnerable and small like that, like a polished porcelain that could crumble into dust anytime. Spencer nodded firmly and gave you a reassuring smile, silently asking you to believe him. He almost jolted with surprise when you grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly and briefly, understanding what he was trying to do.

“Be careful,” you whispered.

He nodded and turned away to make his way to Cyrus, not believing himself to utter any single words without breaking down. He was determined to make sure you were safe and would make it out alive, whatever it takes.

“Told her she shouldn’t have blinded you like that,” Spencer told Cyrus with a faux exasperation and disappointment. He shuddered when Cyrus nodded sympathetically.

“To either of us,” he corrected him sympathetically, which made Spencer want to do nothing but curl up in disgust. Cyrus jerked his chin towards your direction and addressed Christopher, “Bring her back.”

Spencer watched you being dragged up by your upper arms into wherever they were keeping you. He forcefully gulped and shook away the lump of dread on his throat, disbanding it as soon as it was formed. His eyes were apologetic and yours were nothing but filled with determination and forced bravery.

Those who had failed for the test were ushered out of the farm through the front door. Spencer mentally counted the amount of people who walked out into a guaranteed safety, relieved that it held a much greater amount that he had prepared. It was only a matter of saving the rest and finding a way in for the team to bring you and him out of this place.

Cyrus was making his final and last negotiation call with Rossi, asking for a fried chicken and its sides for their last supper and the presence of media to document his sacrifice to God. A suicide attempt to bring down himself and his faithful fanatic followers was a more appealing option to him rather than surrender himself to the authority apparently. It was obvious from the first time Spencer stepped into the building, but it still didn’t fail to fill him with dread and fear.

“I’m always looking for signs of things to come,” Spencer explained to Christopher with a polite smile after he demanded how he had known Cyrus’s plan of final act of sacrifice all along. He maintained his gaze firmly and silently wishing that the team would catch his words through the parable microphone planted outside. It would be his only hope and way for them to come in.

***

Thick smog and fire blinded his sight and blocked his way. Spencer stumbled upon a block of brunt wooden log as Morgan dragged his limping body outside the chapel. Cyrus was dead, but Jesse had finished his suicide mission by blowing up the chapel and the rest of the building. He could hear sirens blaring outside and faint sounds of wails and fearful screams mixed together in the air.

The thought of you trapped inside the building flashed before his eyes for a moment. He didn’t have a moment to glance back to make sure about your whereabouts as he kept coughing and stumbling, Morgan’s grip still firm on his upper hand to drag him outside into safety. Fear started to paralyze his body that he nearly fell into the concrete fall face first. He just needed to see you, to make sure you were safe.

He didn’t know that the sight of armed soldiers and police cars could bring an immense amount of comfort for him. Spencer nearly cried at the overwhelming relief that he was out unharmed, slipped by the last strand of his hair from his ultimate demise. But he couldn’t allow himself to be relieved and comfortable before he knew where you were. Before he knew if you were safe.

“Spencer!” your voice came faintly in between the chaotic sirens and the sound of angry fire eating up the chapel. “Morgan!”

Spencer watched you squirm out of Emily’s embrace, running limpy towards him. He knew he had burst into tears as soon as his eyes landed on you, safe, alive, although littered with bruises and dried blood on your shirt. His shoulders sank and shook as your arms wrapped around him tightly, all the horror, fear, and dread that he didn’t allow himself to feel in the past few days before had rushed into him and knocked all the air out of his lungs.

Relief and comfort of knowing you were safe in his arms was a breath of fresh air for his burned lungs. Usually he would squirm at the thought of touching someone, but the steady rise of your chest as you breath against him overcame all the unfortunate uncomfortable thoughts that came with the activity of hugging someone.

“You’re safe,” Spencer gasped as he released you from his embrace. He was aware that everyone was watching him hugging you and he fought all the mortification that slowly crept up his cheeks. He tried to mask it away as being a relief to find his coworker made it out alive from the sticky hostage situation.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you reassured him with one last firm squeeze on his arms. He wanted nothing but to pull you into his arms again, shield you for any harms lurking in the outside world. The anger that had been forgotten on the back of his mind surged inside him again. But he had to be satisfied with only one final squeeze as you parted from him to be checked by the paramedics.

The flight back to Quantico was quiet and a peaceful one. Everyone was winding up and breathing from the horror of the case that just wrapped up. Spencer tried his best to distract his mind with his book, burrowed in the furthest corner of the jet as the comforting and steady hum of the jet lulled him to sleep.

You slipped into the empty seat right across from him. A weak smile and a timid greeting were exchanged between you and silence followed right after. Spencer knew what conversation would follow after this, and he didn’t want to face it just yet. He had stopped reading from the moment you took the seat and watched him with careful eyes, but he still put up the act in the hope it would steer you away from bursting his bubble.

It did not. Spencer didn’t put up a fight as you gently took his book away from his hands and placed it gently on the table.

“I need you to listen to me,” you started with a firm voice. You were wearing the nice lilac shirt that Spencer liked, and the bruises on your face had started to heal and fade away. “What Cyrus did to me is not your fault. It was my decision and I would do it again.”

Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but you tilted your head with your lips pressing together, discouraging him to counter your statement. He took a sharp breath and shook his head.

“Do you hear me?” your voice was softer this time. Your hands silently reached for his and held them gently. Your thumb made a soothing pattern on his knuckles, a reassuring and determined smile was on your face. Spencer couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. “Do you hear me, Spencer? I will do it again. It wasn’t your fault. It was my decision.”

“I know,” he answered finally.

“Thank you.”

“Please know that I will do the same for you.”

His words had caught you off guard. You stared briefly before nodding, patting the top of his hand gently with your hand as you gave him a really bright smile. Spencer let himself sink further into the comfortable leather seat and let relief washed through him again. Everything will be okay.

#spencer reid #minimal loss #criminal minds #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #cm #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #cm fluff #cm angst #mgg #matthew gray gubler #minimal loss reimagined

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wkemeup · 4 years

Text

Sunrise (3)

summary: After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you. (Modern AU) pairings: bucky x reader chapter word count: 5.2k warnings: none 🧡 series masterlist / series playlist

Bucky stared down at the fresh coffee stained on the sidewalk; a caramel puddle nestling into the cracks and stretching along the lines until it spilled out into the street. He could smell the bitterness and the sweetness in the cream, the steam of it still warm as it filtered up into the cold, autumn air. He cursed at himself under his breath.

You’d looked so beautiful, even with your eyes wide in shock and lips parted in a gasp as coffee spilled to your shoes. Dressed under an army green overcoat, a sliver of a burnt orange sweater peaked out from underneath. He’d seen that particular shade before, cast over a forest of evergreens and reflecting into the clouds, just above the sun as it set over the tree line.

But he’d made a fool of himself in front of you and he could still feel the burning in his ears. He felt hot under his jacket and he found himself glancing down the street, wondering if he could make a run for it. Only, you were waiting for him inside and Bucky couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing you.

Gathering what remained of his courage, Bucky parted the double doors and stepped inside. It took a minute to let his eyes adjust, but when the dim lighting came into view, he noticed you were standing by the entrance waiting for him like you’d known he’d decide to follow. You beamed as he caught sight of you and his stomach twisted straight to knots. You were still clutching the donut box to your chest, almost as if you were afraid he’d knock that out of your hands, too.

“Come on, you can help me set up.” You gestured down the hall to the room he met you in a few days prior. The library with no books on the shelves and cobwebs in the corners. “We’ve got to get you a book before the others show up.”

Bucky nodded, though he didn’t say anything as he followed you. It was pretty quiet without so many people lingering around, but everyone seemed to smile as you approached; perking up from under their clouds and called out your name until you waved back at them. It was like you carried sunshine in your pockets and comfort in your presence, breaking away stormy skies as you passed by.

Before you could reach the library door, Bucky rushed out ahead of you and grabbed a hold of the knob. You paused, eyes catching his for a moment and a pink filtered into his cheeks. He cleared his throat.

“Figured I could do one decent thing today after I ruined your shoes,” he explained, pulling open the door for you.

“You showed up, didn’t you?” you added with a wink. “I count two decent things today, James Barnes.”

He chuckled at that, nodding. “Y-Yeah, okay.”

You set the donuts on the coffee table and began to push the furniture around into a circle. You shouldered most of your weight into the couch to get it to budge and Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips just watching you. Concentrated frown on your face, determination in your eyes, staring down the couch as if it were your sworn enemy.

“You need help with that?” Bucky asked, gesturing to the couch that barely moved a few inches while you were out of breath.

You glanced up at him over the spine of the couch, nodding gratefully. “This one always gives me trouble.”

“I’m sure if you waited for the others to show up, they’d help you move these around,” Bucky said as he placed his right hand on the back of the armrest, his knee digging into the center of the back. You stood next to him, hands on the frame to help push despite the fact that Bucky was strong enough, even without his left arm, to move the couch on his own. But he liked the idea of you beside him, so he didn’t say anything.

“Oh, I’m sure they would,” you exhaled as they couch slid perfectly into place within the circle. “They all work so hard though, you know? It’s nice to have them just walk in and sit down for a change. Don’t need them thinking I’m expecting work out of them, too.”

“Ah, so that's why I’m here, then...”

He was surprised by the teasing in his own voice. When was the last time he made a joke? He couldn’t even remember. But you started to smile, that brightness shining right up into your eyes, and it didn’t matter anymore. He’d make a thousand jokes if you would keep looking at him like that.

“Careful now,” you warned, a glimmer in your eye. “I might need you to help move this couch every week...”

“Wouldn’t be such a bad thing, would it?”

He didn’t know where this was coming from or how it slipped off his tongue so easily, but he liked the way it seemed to catch your off guard. You stilled for a second, a nervous laugh under your breath as you quickly tucked away a few strands of fallen hair. You were flustered. Shit. He was done for.

“Haven't even seen one meeting and you’re offering to move couches for me on a weekly basis? Consider me eternally grateful, James Barnes.” You plopped down on the couch, reaching for the strap of your bag, though it was a few inches out of reach.

Bucky leaned down and picked up the bag, surprised to find it as heavy as it was, and gently set it in your lap. He took a seat on the couch on your left, though he left considerable room between you. You started digging through the bag, pulling out book after book and setting them on the table.

“We’ve got to pick your book of choice,” you explained, smiling at him and clearly eager to see what he would select. “Anything you want. I can get something else from the library for next week if you’re not interested in these. I’ve got some guys reading Harry Potter for the first time. Lang’s on the second Twilight book. Romanoff is halfway through The Odyssey. Barton’s about a few pages to the end of a murder mystery he guessed the plot twist of within the first ten pages, which is just downright infuriating...”

Your nose was all scrunched up and it was the damn near cutest thing Bucky had ever seen. He must have been staring for too long though, because you raised a brow at him.

Bucky cleared this throat, quickly looking away. He scratched nervously at the back of his neck and tried to steer the conversation strictly away from how adorable he found you.

“Isn’t the point of a book club to read the same book?”

“I suppose,” you shrugged, “but not my book club. The whole point is just to help these guys feel comfortable, give them a moment of peace, even if it’s for an hour once a week. Sometimes we’ll sit around the circle and talk about what we’re reading. Lang’s working really hard to sell the Twilight books to the rest of the group despite being about a decade late to the game. Most times though, we just read, listen to some music. It’s quite nice, actually.”

So that was what Sam meant by unconventional.

“I don’t know the last time I read anything,” Bucky admitted slowly. He could barely get himself to concentrate on a single newspaper article these days, let alone an entire book. He often caught himself staring at the TV and realizing an episode later that he didn’t have a clue what had happened.

“A lot of the guys take breaks,” you offered, seemingly reading his mind. “That’s what the donuts are for. Oh, and the coffee, of course.”

You jumped up, making your way over to the pots sitting on the table lining the wall. The pots were already filled and he wondered who took the time to do that for you before you even arrived. You were so well liked around here, Bucky found himself wondering if he wasn’t the only one who felt like you could tell him to do just about anything and he’d oblige without question.

“You want some?” you asked, holding up an empty cup, but Bucky shook his head. He was already starting to get warm and adding coffee to the mix wouldn’t help things.

You didn’t seem to mind as you shrugged off your jacket and draped it by the door. The orange sweater he’d caught a glimpse of under your jacket turned out to be a cardigan. It flowed long down by your thighs, draped over a simple, white tank top and black jeans. Gold jewelry sat over your collarbone and you had a sudden glow about you, like that hour just before sunset.

Golden hour, he realized. That’s what you reminded him of.

“It’s warm in here, isn’t it?” you asked, fanning yourself as you set the coffee on the table. “It’s not just me?”

It’s definitely you, Bucky thought. He’d never met anyone who carried such a presence as to melt the icy cold shards planted defensively around his chest. You were the epitome of warmth and kindness and the sweetest damn thing he’d ever seen... but a trail of sweat lined his hairline and he could feel the heat trapped under his jacket.

“Not you,” Bucky confirmed, brushing at his brow. “It’s hot.”

“Here,” you stood up, holding out a hand to him, “I can take your jacket for you.”

Bucky froze, jaw clenched. He became painfully aware of the empty sleeve on his left side. He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew you must have noticed by now, but taking the jacket off made it obvious that a piece of him was missing, the stub at his shoulder the only thing left in place of an arm he could still feel most days.

“I’m, uh, I’m okay,” he stuttered out, his eyes falling to the ground, hoping you didn’t notice the flush in his cheeks. He could feel your eyes on him and he was almost certain that if he dared to look up at you, you’d be fixated on his empty sleeve.

Shame started to burn hot in his chest when suddenly he felt a cool breeze on the back of his neck. When he looked in search of you, he found you setting up a fan at the edge of the room, angling it just enough so that it was sure to reach him on every rotation.

He swallowed as he watched you. You didn’t ask questions or push him to take the jacket off despite being clearly too warm to keep it on. Instead, you offered him a short smile as you sat back on the couch beside him, a little closer this time.

“Any better?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s, uh, that's really nice. Thanks.”

You smiled for him and he wondered if he could stay inside that moment forever.

***

Bucky selected The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Gilman from the stack of books on the table. It surprised you as his hand ghosted over the cover before flipping it over in his palm, a curious look on his features. It was one of your favorites, one not many would choose to pick up in fear of the publishing date in the late 1800s, but it was a short story, one he could finish within the span of the meeting today.

As he stared down at the unusual yellow pattern on the cover, a frown pushed at his lips as he started to see the strange images hidden under the surface. You found yourself struggling to tear your gaze away from him. With such a reaction to the cover, you couldn’t wait for the end of the meeting just to hear what he thought of the story.

Soon, the usuals started filtering into the room and you noticed that Bucky had barely said a word as the low hum of small talk and chatter filled the empty space. He kept to himself, perched on the very edge of the couch cushion like he might run at any second as you talked with one of the oldest VA members by the door.

Upon sensing his discomfort, you quickly made your way back to the couch and you were surprised when you felt the cushion dip a little as he leaned in your direction as if he was using you as anchor; something familiar amongst an unknown. You tried to suppress a smile when he looked at you, but you really liked the idea of being something familiar to him.

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” you told him quietly, nudging his side playfully with your shoulder. It drew a soft laugh from under his breath and he nodded, gripping tight to the book.

“Yeah, me too.” He sank back into the couch and relaxed the tension in his body.

Six on the dot. You turned to the group.

Tony Stark sat in his usual throne, legs draped over the arm rest, sitting sprawled out over the single chair. Heir to Stark Industries, he’d enlisted himself in rebellion against his own father. He’d ended up in the Air Force for three tours and prided himself on the tattoo on his chest he’d gotten drunkenly off base in his early twenties.

Natasha Romanoff found her place sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning up against the seat of Tony’s chair. She was a sort of a mystery to you, never spoke a word about her position within the military and how long she served, but she was exceptionally perceptive. Part of you wondered if she was some sort of super spy. Despite becoming a close friend, there was still so little you knew about her history. She rested a pillow in her lap.

Then, there was Scott Lang. He’d found himself in some trouble after his discharge, but he was turning his life around. He had a little girl to stick around for and he was trying desperately to find a job. You suspected his fascination with the Twilight books stemmed more from an unbreakable bond with his daughter than anything else. He took his place on the bean bag chair.

Clint Barton sat on the table outside the circle. He was a sharp shooter in his time and found more comfort in the distance. He kept to himself and had an exceptionally entertaining habit of making quick remarks under his breath few were fortunate to hear. You were determined to hand him a book with a plot twist not even he could see coming. You resided to put Defending Jacob by William Landay on hold.

A few others filled out the circle; familiar faces of men and women most would look past on the streets. Dark circles under their eyes, a hardened look about them. Some with tattoos and long beards, other’s draped in leather. Some, you could see the ghost of their former selves in their eyes, but they all seemed to lighten as they sat around the circle.

A moment of peace. It’s all you could offer and they took it gladly.

“Hey everyone. We’ve got a newbie in today.” You gestured to Bucky and he slowly lifted his hand in an awkward wave. “This is Bucky. Bucky, this is the group. Play nice.”

“What’s your rank, soldier?” Tony quipped from his chair; legs kicked out over the side. He never had much of a filter, or a sense of restraint. You shot him a glare he didn’t seem to notice, or rather he didn’t care.

“Sergeant,” Bucky clarified, though you could hear the strain in his voice. He said it as though it burned him, like the very act of the title was painful just to speak.

“Where’d you serve?”

“Tony, we’re not grilling the new kid today,” you warned, but Bucky cleared his throat.

“Afghanistan mostly.” He curled his hand into a fist, pinching at the pages of The Yellow Wallpaper in his grip. A hardness had swept over most of his features, almost in a protective layer, and you wanted to whack Tony upside the head for stealing the soft undertones in his expression.

“And the rest?”

Bucky paused, releasing his fist. “Classified.”

Tony pursed his lips, staring Bucky down over the top lens of his thick rimmed glasses. A testament of wills. A challenge. Then, he nodded, satisfied.

“Great,” you groaned, rolling your eyes playfully. “Now that Tony here has finished interrogating our newest member, we can get started.”

“Hey, consider it my welcome to the group!” Tony hands thrown defensively in the air. Scott nodded from his couch, remembering his own initiation the day Tony demanded to know the extent of his robbery charges following his discharge.

You shook your head, smiling spreading back to your lips and you were thankful to find that Bucky had sat back into the couch, relaxing as the attention moved back to you.

“I think we’ll just spend today reading,” you said. “I’ll put on the playlist Tony recommended – and don’t worry, I did browse through to make sure he didn’t slip any rock anthems in again. We don’t need to give Dr. Selvig down the hall another heart attack when Back in Black starts blaring directly after Yiruma.”

The room laughed and you were purposeful in glancing over at Bucky to see if a smile caught on his lips. It was small, a little uncomfortable as his eyes flickered around the room at the other group members, but he seemed to soften as he landed on you again. You nodded at him.

“Alright kids, hush up now.” You pressed play and the gentle strokes of a piano began to fill the room. “I’ll wake you in an hour.”

You waited until everyone settled in and opened their books. One of the older gentlemen in the back with a long and burly white beard and a leather vest draped over his shoulders set the open novel on his chest and promptly closed his eyes for his weekly nap. You smiled to yourself as you watched the heavy rise and fall of his chest – the man deserved one decent hour of rest a week, anyway.

By the time you made your way back to the couch, you noticed Bucky had tensed up again. He was staring down at the book, harsh breaths pressing through his nose as he tried to keep the book propped open with on hand, losing his place as he tried to turn the page. His jaw was clenched so tight you wondered if he’d bite it clean off.

He didn’t dare ask for help or so much as look in your direction, but it was a determination you’d come to expect from the people you met in these halls. It didn’t mean you couldn’t offer it anyway.

You quietly opened a drawer at the edge of the room, pushing aside knick knacks and old ketchup packets until you came across a small wooden clip. One of the older members had used it when he was going through extensive PT for his hand and couldn’t pinch his fingers enough to grip the thin slip of the page. You pulled it from the drawer and quickly skirted your way back to the couch beside Bucky.

“Here,” you offered, extending the clip to him as the book fell closed on his lap for the fourth time. He looked up at you, confused. You wondered if he realized how cute he looked when his brows pinched together like that; made him look about ten years younger and wiped the evidence of the war clean off his face.

You smiled at him. “It holds the pages down for you. Look.”

Gently pulling the book from his lip, you opened to the first page and set the clip at the bottom of the binding. When you released it, the pages stayed open, giving him free range of motion to turn the page without losing his place.

He blinked a few times as he stared down at the book. It was clear he’d never considered a tool like this and you wondered how many times he had sat down with the intention of reading only to find he couldn’t even turn past the first page. He might have been able to figure out the skill in it if he’d had the patience, but you imagined his own frustration got in the way of that. He seemed to have little patience for himself, as soldiers returning home often did.

There was a brief moment when the tips of his fingers brushed over yours as you pulled away. His hands were warm, almost feverish in comparison to the chill in your own. A blush warmed his cheeks and his eyes quickly darted down to the pages. Your stomach was in pleasant knots.

“Thanks,” he replied quietly, a soft semblance of a smile rising sweetly at the edges of his lips.

You nodded, settling in on the couch beside him and pulling your own book up into your lap. You listened to the gentle strokes of the piano carrying softly through the room until a page turned on your left and then, you let yourself sink into the bindings of the book perched upon your lap.

***

“So! What did you think?!”

It was the first thing you said as the final group member exited the room. Barely even a footstep out the door and you were already anxiously awaiting his reaction. Bucky was busy pushing the couch back into its original position and he glanced back at you to see you biting nervously on your lip, hands wringing out in front of you. You were swaying onto your tip toes like a kid hyped up on sugar. It was the cutest damn thing he’d ever seen.

“It was... a little creepy at the end?” Bucky chuckled, glancing down at The Yellow Wallpaper as it sat on the coffee table. “The woman went completely mad.”

You nodded vigorously, the smile on your face beaming and he had to watch himself to keep from mirroring your excitement.

"It’s a critique on how women’s mental health was perceived in the nineteenth century!” you explained with that giddy look on your face, reaching down for the book and flipping the pages through your fingers, the soft brush of wrinkled paper touching over each thumbprint. “Women were believed to be weak minded and frail, unable to handle more than two hours of mental stimulation. The woman in the story was prescribed ‘rest’ by her physician to treat her depression, essentially restricting her to little more than staring at the walls.”

You rolled your eyes, groaning dramatically, and drawing a smile to Bucky’s face that ached into his cheeks. “Slowly, it drove her to seek stimulation in impossible places, like the image of a woman she saw in the wallpaper! By the end of the story, that’s who she became. Wild, right?”

You shook your head, seemingly lost in astonishment. There was a slight crinkle in your nose when you smiled that wide, Bucky realized, like even the features on your face couldn’t hope to contain the joy bursting from your smile. Radiated like the fucking sun. Bucky was helpless in his stance, frozen, as he listened to you.

“You know the author once said, ‘it’s not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy,’” you continued, setting the book down with such a gentle touch, almost as if it were a living, breathing thing. You handled it with such care and Bucky began to wonder if you’d ever touch him like that – if he was worth such tenderness.

The thought startled him and he quickly swallowed it back. Jaw clenched, right hand pressed to a fist in the pocket of his jacket. Stone cold expression. And yet – you were still talking about that book, all starry eyed and adorable, and a smile managed to crack through his lips. It was his new favorite book, he decided. Whatever could make you smile like that was his favorite. He’d sit there and read the fucking phone book if you asked him to.

“She wrote it in retaliation of her own experience of a physician disregarding her depression. It's actually quite remarkable when you think about it. It's one of the earliest American Feminist works of it’s– ” You froze suddenly, hand clamping over your mouth. You winced at him, slowly pealing your palm away. “Oh God, I’m rambling. I tend to get a little excited about these things... You must be so bored right now.”

Bucky couldn’t help the smile as it rose in his cheeks. He liked seeing you so flustered, caught up in a passion he so rarely saw these days. He didn’t know the last time he cared about anything as much as you cared for books. He could have easily listened to you talk like that for hours without interruption.

“No, no, not bored at all,” he reassured you and you visibly relaxed, relief sweeping through your shoulders. You started to fold up the chairs when Bucky cleared his throat, drawing your attention back. “I, uh, I did like the story, though. Has a lot of relevance today. I see why you like it.”

If he thought you were going to burst before, he should have waited to see how you were looking at him now. Chewing on the inside of your cheek in hopes of suppressing it, though it clearly did little use. You planted your hands on your hips.

“Watch what you say, Barnes. I’ll talk your ear off.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m already down an arm, what’s an ear, too?”

The second the words left his lips, it felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head; drenching his clothes, goosebumps on his ice, sinking into his veins and freezing him to stone. He woken up from a pleasant dream by the harsh ringing of an alarm. He'd been pushed off a cliff, stomach churning in the freefall.

You knew. Obviously, you knew.

You weren’t blind and he was certain you could tell there was a startling absence where his left arm should be, even with the poorly camouflaged sleeve hanging off his side. It wasn’t fooling strangers on the street and it certainly didn’t fool you either, even if it gave him an ounce of peace, like maybe he could pretend he was whole again.

But you’d brought him that book clip for a reason.

You knew.

At yet, this was the first time he mentioned it aloud. Actually said the words. Drew attention to the fact that he was a broken mess of who he used to be and now he was waiting for you to flinch, for the familiar shades of pity and embarrassment to cloud over your starry eyes, but he waited and waited and – it never came.

Instead, you started to laugh.

It filled the room and washed away whatever panic was surging inside of him within a matter of seconds. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard and he wished you didn’t shield your hand over your lips in an effort to contain it because – God – he could have spent his whole life sitting in that moment. Tears in your eyes, a smile on your face, looking at him like he was the man he was before the war, like he was something worth looking at.

“You’re funny, James Barnes,” you said after you caught your breath again, a whisper of a laugh still lingering in your voice. You brushed the tears from your eyes.

Bucky’s chest felt instantly lighter. His right hand was swinging down at his side and he brought it up to his hair to brush it from his face.

“I could use a new book for next week,” he started, a little surprised at himself, and judging by the look in your eyes, it surprised you too. But you were smiling at him and it gave him the courage to continue. “Thought maybe you could help me find something?”

“Really?” you asked, practically glowing. “You’ll come back next week?”

He’d do anything if you kept looking at him like that.

“Yeah,” was all he said, but you looked as though he told you he’d just told you he won the lottery. Maybe he had.

“Well then, I’d be happy to! Just, um, hold on a second,” you scrambled around the room, looking for a pen and paper. You clicked a pen a few times before doodling in the corner to get the ink moving. When you were finished, you handed it to him. “These are my hours at the library. Come by anytime, okay? If I’m not up front, ask Mrs. Jefferson to page me. She’ll know who you are.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, staring down at the scribbled numbers. Did you talk about him at work? Butterflies swarmed in his stomach at the thought. He wondered what kinds of things you would say about him.

“Walk me out?” you asked, grabbing your coat from the rack and gesturing to the door. Bucky looked up, not even realizing the room was already set back in its original formation, the empty box of donuts discarded.

He nodded, following you to the door.

“You know, I’m really happy you decided to come today,” you said as you passed into the hallway. Bucky kept an even pace at your side and tried not to let the butterflies in his stomach escape to where you could see.

“Almost didn’t,” he admitted with a tired chuckle.

“Figured by the staring contest you were having with the building before the coffee incident.”

Bucky winced, but you were smiling as he looked over at you and he felt the tension slip from his muscles instantly. “I am sorry about that...”

“Maybe you can just owe me a coffee,” you suggested casually, as if the prospect of spending time together, just the two of you didn’t make the butterflies crawl a little further up into his chest. “A real one. Not the shitty stuff we serve at the VA.”

Bucky swallowed, pushing the creatures back into his stomach. His throat was dry. “I can do that.”

He pictured sitting across from you at a café, watching your hands curl around the outside of a mug, the steam of it brushing on your nose. Glistening in the reflection of the sunlight peaking through the windows, draped in the glow of the sunset. He’d buy you a thousand coffees.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you soon then?”

Bucky looked around and realized suddenly that he was standing outside. The cold breeze had turned into a frigid autumn chill with the sun nearly set behind the skyline. Peaks of orange remained at the horizon, mimicking the colors in your sweater. When he looked down, he could still see the stain of coffee on the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, determined to push past whatever doubt etched into his way. It faded in an instant as he saw your lips curve up high into your cheeks. “I’ll see you soon.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you

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missymurphy1985 · 3 years

Text

The Extra (part 3)

Warnings - not yet 😉

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

You'd accepted the role - it was only for a week, and you were there anyway. Clara would be killed off at the end of this week, sending Tommy into a crazy spiral that would last the whole series. Your class were so excited to see you in costume performing alongside the rest of the cast, they were thrilled for you. You kept playing it down, it was no more than a glorified 'extra' role, just there to set the story for the rest of the series - your actual screen time would be no more than two episodes.

You were catching up with Liane on Wednesday lunchtime over a sandwich and latte, she was grilling you about how your scenes with Cillian.

"You know, he's not at all what I expected. He's so down to earth and lovely. Really sweet. Patient too - thankfully. Hard not to forget your lines when you've got those eyes staring at you!"

"Is it not as awkward as you thought then?"

"Well he got rid of any awkwardness on Monday morning! His trick worked - we've been great ever since."

Your phone buzzed on the table and Liane couldn't help but notice.

"You exchanged numbers already?" She said, eyebrow raised.

"It's not like that - he used my phone to find his yesterday, left it in his trailer."

"You are not that naive Y/n... That's the oldest trick in the book!"

"What is?"

"The old 'lost my phone, can I ring it from yours' trick! He just wanted your number!"

"What if I did?" Cillian's suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere, plonking himself down next to you making you jump.

"Jesus Cillian, don't do that..." You laughed, clutching your chest.

"Sorry, I did text to say I was behind you in line but you were too busy discussing my ulterior motives for getting your phone number," he grinned, winking at Liane who was redder than a tomato.

"I um... Yeah I have to go do that.. thing.. I'll see you later y/n," she made her exit, and you shook your head, trying not to laugh.

"Would it have been so bad if she was right?" He leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head.

"Was she?"

"No, I actually did lose my phone.. but quite a clever trick isn't it. And I do have your phone number now." His eyes were on yours again, you swore he knew the effect it had on you.

"You do indeed. What exactly do you intend to do with it?"

"Well I plan to call you later, some of the cast have arranged a drink in the hotel tonight. See if you wanted to join us?"

"Me? I'm hardly a cast member Cillian, I'm only here for a week?"

"You're as important to this show as I am y/n - without your character, Tommy's spiral into madness doesn't make sense. You're going to be a real focus for this series."

You pondered it for a few minutes. You didn't have plans that evening, just heading back to your own hotel and reading a book, nothing too exciting..

"Okay I'll come for one drink. Just one though, it's an early start tomorrow."

"Great! I'll text you later with the details?" You nodded and he headed back over to the canteen, collecting his coffee and out the door.

Your scenes done, you were in your hotel room getting ready. Liane was on her bed reading, giggling like a schoolgirl as you straightened your hair.

"Will you stop - it's a quiet drink with all the cast!"

"Mhmm. Yep. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time! I won't wait up, don't worry!" You threw a cushion at her, just making her laugh even more at you.

"Right, my taxi's outside. How do I look?" You stood up in your black jeans and flowing pale tan shirt, finished with black boots.

"Looking hot mama! His eyes are gonna be on stalks when you walk in!"

"Oh shut up, will you!" You laughed, rolling your eyes, heading out the door.

You walked into the hotel, and as promised Cillian was waiting in the lobby for you.

"You look amazing y/n," he kissed your cheek and offered you his arm to loop into. Nodding at the bouncer on the door, he led you through into the bar. The other cast and crew were already inside, smiling and laughing as they chatted about the first few days of filming.

"What's your poison?" He asked.

"Vodka and lemonade please." You got your drinks and made your way over to Anto, who was currently entertaining Sophie and Helen with dodgy Dad jokes. You were cringing before you'd even arrived. He saw you and instantly threw his arms around you.

"I thought you said you weren't coming!" He asked.

"She had a better offer, Anto!" Sophie giggled looking at Cillian, who's cheeks had flushed a little at her comment.

"Oh now, I see how it is, my eyes not blue enough for you?" Anto laughed.

"Well no.. they're brown?" You smirked, making Cillian laugh.

You spent an hour chatting with Sophie and Natasha, filling they were telling you how well your students were going and how much they enjoyed having them all onset. Natasha went to the bar to get a round in when Sophie nudged you.

"Don't look round, keep looking at me."

"Okay..."

"He hasn't taken his eyes off you. Not once y/n. Keeps glancing at you, he thinks I can't see him."

"Who?"

"Cillian! He's talking to Paul at the bar, but he's looking over at you."

"Come in, you're not serious?" She nodded. You blushed again, feeling a fluttery feeling in your stomach.

"He clearly fancies you y/n."

"Yeah, a multi millionaire Hollywood actor fancies some random university professor from Stafford? Come on Sophie, even I'm not that daft! I'm going outside for a smoke, you coming?" She shook her head, and you headed out the side door into the empty smoking area. Taking out your phone, you typed a quick text to Liane telling her you'd be back in an hour.

"You got a spare one of those?" Cillian's voice behind you startled you.

"I thought you were a non-smoker?" You handed him your packet and he took one, you lit it for him.

"Social smoker." He leaned against the wall next to you, blowing the smoke away. There was a silence between you. All you could think about was how the hell you'd ended up here in a smokers area with Cillian Murphy. The little fangirl inside you was having a hissy fit. The grown woman in you was telling you to stop being so damn stupid.

"You're a damn fine actress y/n." You turned to him and scoffed.

"Seriously. Too good for that dick of a director. Purely intimidated by you, that's why he didn't hire you."

"I'm intimidating, am I?"

"A little. In a good way. A very good way," he raised an eyebrow. Was he flirting?

"And what is it that's so intimidating, exactly?" He stubbed the cigarette out in the wall mounted ashtray and turned to face you properly.

"We've spent a lot of time together these last few days. You know your own mind. You're intelligent, confident, have just the right level of sass, attractive. It's a deadly combination y/n."

"Is that so?" Did he just get closer? You were rooted to the spot, you were sure he was closer than he was before...

"That is so. Qualities like that don't come around very often. He was mad to not hire you, and even more tapped to blacklist you. I'd star opposite you any day of the week."

"Would you really?"

"Yeah. The movies I could make with you..." he winked, before heading back inside leaving you to wonder what he meant. Was he flirting with you? You shook your head, finishing your own cigarette. If he was, clearly just after a quick fuck with a costar.. but he wasn't like that, was he?

#cillian fanfic #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x smut #cillian smut #cillian murphy x smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction

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xiyao-feels · 3 years

Text

Finally got around to writing down some thoughts on the differences between Empathy and the original—per scene and then a general reflection.

Episode 10

(episode 10 differences)

Going through this chronologically, our first comparison is the captain encounter. Honestly I think NMJ was straight-up inventing most of this—even aside from the sheer absurdity of MY, what, smuggling XY out of prison, bringing him into the middle of everything (he runs into the Captain and friend AND WWX!), XY…just going back into prison…well, anyway, putting all that aside—the Captain's questions here seem like NMJ's preoccupations, not the Captain's. The Captain is hugely contemptuous of MY, but he's not, like, obsessed with his innermost heart, you know? "You're lying! I just saw that. You were talking. Tell me honestly. What's your ulterior motive?"—that's NMJ, not the Captain at all. Plus there's the way the Captain grabs MY basically the exact same way NMJ does.

Next up there's MY telling NHS he's going to go check on XY—minor phrasing differences aside, one thing that's interesting is we don't get all of MY's reaction/decision before he tells NHS in Empathy, just the tail end:

Ahhhh, now, the bit where NMJ sees MY stab the captain! You can see here the beginning of a pattern of Empathy erasing the Wen. MY throwing himself in front of the blade to save NMJ is removed, of course, but so is NMJ fighting WZL, as he was before going to the prison in episode 10; in the Empathy he's just kind of standing there. And then sees MY, uh, creepily pick up a sword??? And follows him??? Instead of hearing that XY's escaped and running to the prison because of that, which is of course what happened in episode 10. (So XY is erased some in this scene, too; even when it comes to MY's excuses, he says It wasn't me, but we don't get to 'Xue Yang killed him', as we do in the original.)

Some other points of interest here… Of course the expression NMJ sees on MY as MY kills the captain is only shown in Empathy. Interestingly, also, while MY is quite clearly terrified at NMJ's approach in both, in episode 10 it's presented immediately, while in the Empathy he has a beat before he starts reacting that way.

The last scene—NMJ confronting MY and kicking him out of Qinghe. In the Empathy, we start with MY having been thrown onto the floor, rolling—but this isn't there in episode 10, and to be honest I think it probably didn't actually happen. First, while I can see NMJ throwing MY onto the floor, I don't actually think he'd throw him quite that hard at this point in time? And it's also got a lot of visual echoes of JGY rolling down the stairs; I think he's projecting backwards. Of course, it still takes MY longer to recover in episode 10; Empathy consistently minimizes the physical harm done to MY.

So the conversation is interesting because it's really just two different conversations in the Empathy vs episode 10. In episode 10, MY leads with the Captain's abuse of him, and he's clear that it's habitual, ongoing, long-term. In Empathy, he leads with the Captain releasing XY, /adds in/ that the Captain wanted to kill him (that's not there in episode 10!), and absolutely skips over and minimizes the abuse: the beatings aren't mentioned, the credit-stealing isn't mentioned, the insulting and humiliating… even the 'Every time' is removed from before the 'he humiliated my mother', making it seem like this was a one-off provocation instead of habitual. NMJ's somewhat unhinged rant about MY's motives, including the would you have killed everyone at the cave if I hadn't helped you, is also Empathy-only (and then when MY starts to reply NMJ is like, Don't lie to me! and MY shuts up, suggesting perhaps that a denial would have been lying, which may be part of why people think this is a remotely reasonable assertion).

Some other interesting things—in episode 10, we see NMJ lift his sabre and then lower it, unable to go through with it; in Empathy, we don't see that at all—in general I think there's less of a sense that he's struggling with his decision, in Empathy, it's more just like He Is Doing The Righteous Justice. Fascinatingly we also don't see him put Baxia away in Empathy—I think he must because we see a scene where he already had, in episode 10, but we don't actually see it. We also don't see MY, injured, get up and thank NMJ and walk out, or indeed NMJ's conflicted gaze after him; the scene cuts off too soon.

Episode 22

(episode 22 differences)

There's only one scene for episode 22: the WRH, NMJ, and MY scene, inside Sun Palace. Right off the bat, we have the Wen erasure again; the episode 22 scene starts with WRH directly addressing NMJ and tormenting him and his Nie cultivators, whereas the Empathy one only starts when MY walks in. (Although interestingly MY addresses WRH as xiandu, while he doesn't seem to say anything with his bow in episode 22).

This one is an interesting scene because there's relatively little overlap? In the episode 10 scenes, you mostly saw different versions of the same events; in this one there's some of that, but there are also large chunks of time that are only in episode 22 or only in Empathy. Most of the MY-interacting-with-NMJ is only in Empathy, including, yes, the damn sabre touch. But we do have the beginning of MY talking to NMJ in both. MY's expression is different in Episode 22 vs Empathy—it's a little hard to capture in a still, but it's a lot more, mmm, simpering-mockery in the Empathy version?

Ah, one detail that's interesting—so, in CQL—which is to say in Empathy because we don't see this sequence at all in Episode 22—when that Nie cultivator calls the place 'a den of Wen' he uses 温/温氏, for Wen, and then when people are insulting MY in this scene they're using 走狗. But in MDZS all of those are actually 温狗, Wen-dog. Which is definitely more directly disrespectful to WRH than the 走狗 insults, but I feel like in general CQL doesn't use 温狗 a lot, while in MDZS it's all over the place—so while it's an interesting detail I'm not sure it's suggestive for Empathy in particular. Hmmm.

We return to things being shown in both Empathy and Episode 22 with NMJ shoving MY back. In Empathy, we only see MY stagger a little, while in episode 22 it's quite considerable—again, Empathy's tendency to minimize the physical damage MY suffers.

And then MY kicks NMJ in return! Okay this is actually fascinating, because in Empathy, it looks like this totally wipes NMJ out, and the scene stops here. But that isn't at all what happened! He's knocked onto his back, yes, BUT he recovers and comes up and shoves MY hard enough he goes flying:

He gets up and goes to attack MY, and would probably have killed him if WRH hadn't interfered. Which, don't get me wrong, is entirely reasonable of him given his understanding of the situation but it is not at all the impression you'd get from Empathy. If anything NMJ's collapse in the Empathy after MY kicks him looks like the collapse he has after WRH finishes with him, in episode 22. And MY saying How dare you be so rude in front of Clan Leader Wen when he kicks NMJ is also removed—the whole sequence here is really another example of the removal of the Wen from the Empathy scenes.

Incidentally, MY didn't actually kill all the Nie cultivators, in this scene. If you look while MY is flying back, at least one of them is still alive:

And then you can see all four are dead while NMJ's attacking WRH:

But MY has been on the floor recovering from NMJ's attack, so he definitely didn't kill the at least one and quite probably two who are still alive.

WRH asks MY if NMJ killed Wen Xu question; you have MY staying quite noticeably silent, which I think is still meant to be understood as MY saving NMJ's life. I guess they changed it because the MDZS version really doesn't work with the flow of events as happens in CQL? For the record, in MDZS MY answers yes, but then immediately suggests that they torture him instead of killing him immediately, and then once WRH isn't set on killing him immediately, kills WRH on the spot and starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of there. So there's no WWX for distraction, and Sunshot's army definitely isn't right outside, there's only LXC he sent a message to and who hasn't quite shown up yet—so in MDZS he's taking a bigger risk, and more unambiguously saving NMJ's life and winning them the war. Which is not, to be clear, to in any way minimize CQL MY's astonishing bravery and achievements.

Episode 23

(episode 23 differences)

So in both we start with LXC holding NMJ and looking down at him. In episode 23, when NMJ sees MY, we see LXC see and notice his reaction and /then/ look over at MY in concern, whereas in Empathy we don't get that moment—it just goes to both of them looking at MY.

NMJ demands his sabre back, and in both MY complies, though in the Empathy one he takes a beat longer and looks more worried about it. In the original, MY also has "Let me explain" which is dropped from the Empathy.

In both we have NMJ attacking MY with Baxia, and trying to get past Shuoyue—in the Empathy it's a bit shorter, though, and we also lose LXC asking NMJ what he's doing this for. I think that goes with cutting LXC seeing NMJ react before he looks over at MY, above; the effect is to make NMJ's response seem more obvious/natural, when in fact LXC is pretty baffled by it at the time.

"he became the Wen's underling and had been helping the tyrant at Nevernight!"—the language on 'became the Wen's underling' is actually different in episode 23 vs Empathy. In episode 23, you have 原来投靠了温氏; in Empathy, though, it's 原来是做了走狗. Note the 走狗 as earlier!

Okay, and now the big one: LXC giving NMJ reasons they should trust MY/not kill him. Empathy cuts most of this. It keeps that MY is the one who sent the map, but it drops: that the reason LXC is here today is because MY sent him a message; that MY was the one who schemed to get WRH's guard down, and then /killed him/; that MY was the one who saved LXC's life after CR burned; and that MY independently approached WRH to spy on him and has been sending LXC letters the whole time. /That's really not trivial. That's a lot to cut./

I wonder if this has any relation to the common idea that LXC did not in fact have a lot of very good reasons to trust JGY.

(Incidentally it's after the MY killed WRH reveal, in episode 23, that NMJ lowers his blade.)

...also. so. In episode 23 LXC asks MY, you know, didn't he already tell NMJ about all this (a question which makes a lot more sense in MDZS, where NMJ has already woken up before LXC joins them, but I just run with it), and MY says, you saw it ZWJ, even if I had he wouldn't have believed me. And NMJ—again it's kind of hard to capture in a still, but he pretty much reacts like he thinks that's ridiculous and MY is just making excuses/being manipulative?

And then of course that gets erased from the Empathy, as well as as just mentioned most of the reasons LXC actually gave. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, this also means it cuts what I'm pretty sure is the first on-screen use of A-Yao—it does show up later in the Empathy version of this scene, so I don't think that's hugely significant, but just as a note.

Then there's MY kneeling in preparation for apology, which is in both Empathy and episode 23. The Empathy cuts make it seem like he kneels pretty much right after NMJ lowers his blade, though, and we don't get to see him making the deliberate choice to step out if LXC's protection to kneel—again, I think it makes LXC seem more understanding of NMJ than he actually is here.

The apology proper is only in Empathy; honestly it mostly seems fairly reasonable to me, although it does mean you only hear LXC saying "But I believe, when he was doing such things, deep in his heart he must have been…" after the version that cuts most of his reasons for believing that. In terms of actual changes, I wonder if LXC reacted more quickly/strongly to the bit where it looks like NMJ is actually going to kill MY? It's definitely more understated than his previous reactions, and it would fit with the other changes made.

Last scene: the oath. At this point I think it's fairly well-known that NMJ looking at JGY, and LXC turning his head to look at them both, is only in Empathy—there's also, maybe?, a small change to the text; in episode 23, "Both God and people will be furious with us" is 天人共怒, but in Empathy it's 天人共戮. I say maybe because—on the one hand, the subs definitely use a different character, and it's in both the YT subs and the Netflix subs even though those aren't always 100% identical, but while I'm not usually checking the audio for this I did here because it's just the one character and the audio pretty much sounds the same to me? (ep 23) (Empathy) Could just be my ear, or a mistake on the subs' part or the audio part, who knows.

Overview

Looking at all the changes together, a few patterns emerge.

First, people who are doing damage who aren't JGY—the Wen, XY—tend to get minimized or erased from the narrative. Similarly and to some extent as a result, the harm caused by JGY is exaggerated; also similarly, the good that JGY does is also minimized or erased. Meanwhile, the damage done /to/ JGY is minimized—both the environment of abuse he suffered at Qinghe, and the physical harm done to him, which he usually recovers from much more quickly in Empathy (even when the attack itself is made stronger as, unusually, it is in the confrontation where NMJ kicks MY out of Qinghe). Finally MY is made more manipulative than he necessarily is; while I'm not saying he's never being manipulative, NMJ understands his expressions of weakness as /purely/ manipulative and inherently false, when in fact the weakness MY expresses is very real, however calculated, or not!, its expression may be.

Honestly—in this JGY who does way more harm and way less good than he actually does, who is more powerful and experiences less damage than he actually does, who is never actually weak but only acting that way to manipulate people? I feel like I'm seeing a lot of where popular takes on JGY come from.

#long meta #more than one tag could contain

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starks-hero · 3 years

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His Last Vow

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader

Request: Hey! I just adore your writings, thank you for existing. ❤ I watched Sherlock 4x01 yesterday, and I just can't get over what happened there. I'm truly afraid what will happen next... So I thought if you could write a fic about this episode. I mean something like this: after all what happened in the Aquarium, S. goes home to Y/N, his girlfriend, totally fallen apart, trembling, then he starts like... and destroying everything at home, and Y/N tries to soothe him, crying, fluff etc. THANK YOUUU <3 - anonymous

Summary: You can't stop Sherlock from falling apart, but you can certainly help pick up the pieces.

Word Count: 1,725

Warnings: lots of angst with some compensating fluff, a very brief mention of Sherlock's drug use, Spoilers for 4x01

“Come on, pick up!” You yelled as Sherlock's phone once again went straight to voicemail. You'd been trying to get through to him for over an hour and your worry was slowly melting into frustration.

It had been a few hours since he'd left the flat to ‘think without any distractions’, but you didn't take into account that he'd be gone this long. You knew this case meant more to him than most, especially considering it concerned Mary, which made you all the more worried.

You tried calling him once more, but when you were greeted with the same blunt voicemail, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

Grabbing your coat, you pulled Mary's number up on your phone. You attempted to calm your anxious mind by telling yourself that Sherlock had probably just dragged John off on some side case. And if anyone was going to know where the boys were, it was Mary.

Just as you pressed ‘call’ and opened the door to leave, you were greeted by the familiar sound of footsteps on the stairs. You sighed in relief.

“Where have you been? I was starting to get-,” Your voice died down in your throat when Sherlock entered the flat.

His chest was heaving and his body trembled, his cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes resembled those of a scared child. He looked completely distraught.

“Sherlock?” Your voice was timid as he entered the flat. You studied him carefully before reaching out for his hand. You stopped a few inches short. Sherlock's gloved hand, along with the once white sleeve of his shirt was now stained in a dark crimson red. Your heart fell out of your chest when you realised what it was. Blood.

“Sherlock,” your voice wavered. “What happened?”

You didn't receive a reply. Sherlock's back was to you, but you could still clearly see his struggle to breathe as his shoulders tensed. He pulled off his gloves slowly, hands shaking.

The room was deathly quiet. And then it wasn't. Whatever had happened, whatever Sherlock was feeling, whatever he had pent up inside came out all at once in a blind rage.

One sweep of his arm sent several books and heaps of paper flying from the desk, he brought his fist down on the tables top so hard you swore you heard the wood splinter. Several more books were pulled from the bookcase and not even the sentiment Sherlock held for his skull was enough to stop the youngest Holmes from picking up the human remain and chucking it across the room. His rage continued to the kitchen as the table was completely overturned, any unfortunate glass or cutlery that had been left on its surface shattering into ceramic shards as they met the cold floor. One of the cupboards was almost completely taken off its hinges. And through all of this, Sherlock cried.

You watched on in shock, frozen to the spot as you watched Sherlock destroy anything he came in contact with. No matter how much your mind yelled at you to do something, to move and comfort the man you loved, the horror kept you glued to the spot. Whatever had happened, had destroyed Sherlock entirely. You weren't entirely sure you'd be capable of dealing with it.

You were pulled from your frozen state as Sherlock turned his anger to the flat door. His fist connected with the wood. Once, twice, over and over. The timber was splintering and Sherlock's knuckles were bloodied, but he didn't stop. He just kept going, his strangled shouts tearing at your heart.

“Sherlock,” You approached him slowly but with unfaltering trust. Despite the violence you'd just witnessed unfold in the flat, you weren't afraid of Sherlock, not for a second.

“Hey, hey-,” Your hand brushed his shoulder but it didn't lessen his assault on the door. “Sherlock, stop it.”

Blood was flowing freely from his knuckles down his fingers in bright crimson lines.

“Stop it!”

Grabbing hold of his shoulder and forcibly pulling him away from the abused piece of wood. He struggled against you, attempting to push you away, but despite being taller and stronger than you, you managed to hold your ground against him. (The bloodied hand, sprained wrist and potentially broken fingers weren't playing in his favour.)

“Let me go!” Sherlock's tone was heart-wrenching, his voice hoarse from the shouting he'd done moments before. His vocal cords were spent. “Let me go!” He continued to struggle against you. His voice no longer resembled that of the stoic, detective you'd fallen for, but of a terrified child that had witnessed something they shouldn't have. “Let me-”

Sherlock's harrowing shouts broke into distressed sobs. He stopped fighting and allowed himself to collapse against you. The tears dampened your skin as Sherlock buried himself into the crook of your neck.

Sherlock's legs gave way and he was sent to the ground, you went with him. He clutched onto you for dear life, fingers clutching at your shoulders so tightly you could feel his nails digging into your skin. He was holding you so closely against him it was beginning to constrict your ability to breathe. But you didn't complain. You just kept running your hand through his hair and doing your best to soothe him.

You had never seen him in such a state. In fact, you'd never seen anyone in such a state. Everything you'd been through with Sherlock, the cases, the drugs, all of it and you'd never seen an outburst that could even begin to compare to the magnitude of the one you'd just witnessed.

“Sherlock,” you managed after a while, your own voice trembling slightly. “What happened?”

His voice wavered, sobs wracking his body. You ran your hand through his hair again.

“Hey, look at me,” your hand gently caressed his cheek and wiped away stray tears, your thumb catching them as they continued to fall. “It's okay, whatever happened, it's okay. Just talk to me, Sherlock.” You masterfully hid your worry beneath a gentle tone as you urged him to continue.

Sherlock swallowed down a rising sob and managed to choke out a somewhat coherent answer.

“Mary,” he cried. “She's dead.”

Your heart stopped beating for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. Tears formed in your eyes as the world shattered around you at the revelation. When you finally exhaled, reality hit.

Sherlock broke again and this time, you broke with him.

You cried into Sherlock's shoulder. You cried for Mary, your best friend. You cried for John, who'd lost his wife and for little Rosie, who'd lost her mother. You weren't quite sure just how long you spent weeping, all you could hear was the same two words playing on repeat in your mind. ‘She’s dead’.

You were only pulled back to what was left of your reality by the sound of Sherlock's distraught voice.

“It's-It's my fault!” Sherlock cried and you swore you'd never heard anyone sound so broken. “I killed her.”

“Sherlock,” you tried, expression falling when he flinched away from your touch. “Sherlock, please.” You carefully slipped your hand into his and he grasped onto it like a lifeline. “Listen to me. You didn't kill her. Mary, she-” you couldn't find the words to finish.

You knew Sherlock was lying, you may not have known the whole story yet but you knew Sherlock hadn't killed Mary. But he was blaming himself, and you couldn't allow him carry that kind of weight.

“It's going to be okay, I promise. We'll- we'll figure it out.”

You knew your words were empty. Mary was dead. The life you'd known yesterday was gone. It wasn't going to be okay, not for a long time if ever. But you needed to say something, anything, to help ease the heartache you were both feeling. You had to be strong, for him.

“I promised,” Sherlock's voice had been reduced to a whimper. “I- I promised I'd keep her safe.”

Having no other empty promises to offer, you did the only thing your distressed mind would allow. You pulled Sherlock against you and held him close. He sobbed into your shoulder, completely inconsolable.

“It's okay,” you comforted, holding the pieces together as Sherlock broke in your arms. “It's okay, I'm here.”

You glanced around the wreckage of the flat. Both your belongings were strewn along the floor, mostly in pieces. But none of that mattered, not now. At the moment there was only one broken thing you were focused on fixing.

Wordlessly, you stood. Sherlock's hold on you tightened, almost as if he feared you were leaving him. But a comforting hand grasping his own eased his worries. You pulled him to his feet and together, navigated across the treacherous kitchen floor that was covered in broken glass.

You pulled the first aid kit from the cupboard and Sherlock caught on, obediently seating himself in one of the chairs that had remained standing during his outburst.

Your fingers gently caught Sherlock's wrist and drew his hand close to you. First, you washed away the blood and then pressed the disinfectant wipe to his knuckles. Sherlock didn't react.

You sniffled as you worked, wiping at your eyes. Sherlock made no comment, his own tears were yet to stop. Focusing on Sherlock's injury and the task at hand was currently the only thing stopping you from breaking again.

You dried the wound and bandaged it up, not that it was necessarily needed, but it was something to focus on.

When you finished tending to the injury, you didn't let go of Sherlock's hand. You sat together for a moment, the silence deafening.

You glanced at him through blurred vision. His eyes reflected what you were both feeling. You were both broken. Mary, your best friend, was gone and the family you'd both found had been torn apart.

Sherlock pulled you into him, his strong hold suggesting that he didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. You held him just as tightly.

You sat together amidst the wreckage, mourning both Mary and the life you'd both had just hours earlier. You'd both lost your best friend and you knew the fallout would be unimaginable. But for now, you had each other, and you hoped that would be enough to make it through what was to come.

~~~~~~

Forever tag list: @miraclesoflove @bakerstreethound @kealohilani-tepise

Sherlock tag list: @fanfictionsilove @quentawewe @andreasworlsboring101 @starrykitn @doozywoozy @xxinvisiblexx @the-worst-critic @Jellyfishbeansontoast @Xhz17x

#bbc sherlock x reader #sherlock x reader #Sherlock Holmes x Reader #sherlock x you #sherlock imagine #sherlock x y/n #sherlock holmes x you #Sherlock Holmes fanfiction #bbc sherlock fic #bbc sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #Sherlock #sherlock fanfiction #bbc sherlock imagine #sherlock fanfic #sherlock x reader angst #his last vow #4x01

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mingying · 3 years

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[spoilers] hosplay season 2 ep 4; ikjun/songhwa

Ah, Ep 4 gave me mixed feelings. IkSong aside, this episode had a lot of things happening at once so my emotions were quite literally thrown from one end to another in like split seconds. There are things I liked about this ep and things that I didn’t, but for the sake of uniformity I will stick to talking about IkSong in my tumblr posts!

Again, this is just my opinion and mostly musings of my own.

TL;DR: Songhwa is taking first steps towards spending time alone with Ikjun and hopefully discovering things along the way!

I loved how we got Songhwa calling Ikjun in this instance and telling him excitedly that the cafeteria is serving drumsticks! This moment may seem insignificant to non-shippers but I think it goes in line with the whole “steadily and slowly” principle for this slowburn couple. It shows that Songhwa is slowly reaching out to Ikjun again and I like that we got to see this invitation!

She called him again even knowing that he already has a lunch date keke and this time Ikjun is keen to leave bc of obvious reasons - he didn’t want to 5th wheel a couple and a potential couple (his new targets? hahah).

The fact that Ikjun never said “Songhwa-ya” but Seokhyung KNOWS it is Songhwa? I wonder what gave that away? His tone? The way he smiled? Or was it simply Seokhyung’s intuition? I always thought that Seokhyung is a pretty observant person, he just doesn’t say things out loud but he definitely knows what is happening around him.

She even bought coffee for him <3 I am loving this two way street.

Also, this entire scene was honestly made up of the most random conversations ever. But, it’s a conversation that is so in tune to IkSong. It shows mundane and domesticity because they’re discussing about their mothers sending them way too much side dishes despite being grown adults. I love this. The only other time Songhwa has ever spoken something personal about her family was during Sujebi where she told him about her father’s hearing aids.

It’s funny that Ikjun’s one condition ended up being sharing his perilla leaves with her. Them swapping side dishes is so oddly endearing! Do close friends do that? Maybe. Kekeke.

In the other scene, my heart totally melted when Songhwa brought up Uju. Once again, their conversation is borne out of natural comfort no matter how random the topic can get. They went from talking about Uju and Mone to reminiscing about their past as interns - ONLY FOR SONGHWA TO COMFORTABLY BUST INTO A SONG IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!!

I don’t want to read too much into the choice of song Songhwa chose to sing...but...try googling Couple by Sechskies and you will realise the lyrics are very IkSong kekekeke

I laughed so hard because Ikjun’s expression was hilarious. He was embarrassed by her tone deaf singing that he sat so far, yet he waited for her uninterruptedly and even clapped for her. Friends, if there ever is anyone who would put up to your tone deaf singing like this maybe you should consider marrying them. I loved that Songhwa was also wearing his jacket. While we didn’t see how that happened, at least we got to see that Songhwa held onto the jacket right until they headed back into the hospital. I mean, that shows the level of comfort between them, right? Without her having to overthink that that gesture means something more considering everything that has happened.

“This is nice,” Oh Songhwa, I just want you to be happy. You were so happy in this episode, honestly and I live to see that. If you two remain to be this happy for the rest of the episodes honestly I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing this similar rapport with or without endgame huhuhuhu (as long as you two are happy)

Anyway! I thought that, even though these two scenes were placed at quite a random timing with the most carefree of conversations, they were included in this episode for a reason.

And that reason in my opinion at least is because of that one scene between Songhwa and Seonbin:-

For the first time, we are able to see a little insight of Songhwa and her past relationships. And here, she specified that it was exhausting trying to go all out in mending a relationship after having arguments with her ex-bf. Of course this screencap doesn’t encapsulate all that she said but basically I have a feeling that she is now in an ‘idle’ state with Ikjun because she believes in the principle of “what is meant to be, will be” (referencing to the line of asking Seonbin to just wait, and that if they both don’t want it to end, and if they don’t stay apart, then everything will be ok).

Hmm :)

Who called who in this episode and spent some time alone with him twice I wonder...

And finally THIS statement!!!

With just this one sentence alone we are able to tell that Songhwa wants to just leave it to fate for now. To wait and see what happens. That she’ll go along with the flow and whatever that comes from it. I take this as a positive sign for us because in this episode itself we’ve gotten her slowly opening up to Ikjun and wanting to spend time with him alone. She even wore his jacket!!!

I think that she hasn’t expressed much of her feelings directly for Ikjun bc following her principle, she’s just letting nature take its course. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings for him in my opinion, without overthinking too much and just...wanting to see if her spending time with Ikjun means something more than it should.

I’m excited to see what is in store for us in future episodes because I feel that this is just the beginning for Songhwa. We got a bit of her POV here, though not in a way we want to (which is a direct hint at IkSong) but it’s good enough to know that she isn’t entirely opposing the idea, just that she’s waiting to see where life takes her next.

I hold on to the fact that regardless of their relationship status, Ikjun will always be the one to make her laugh. She clearly enjoys his company and clearly is comfortable enough to share personal topics with him. So yes, I am still holding hard onto the IkSong stocks! I fell so hard for this ship in the beginning because of the domesticity between them anyway, that natural rapport and affection they have for each other. Be it platonic or not, they are the IkSong couple we love so much because of that very reason so as long as they remain as happy like this, I think I’m good. (But, I’m not giving up yet okay! My cut off point is EP 6 honestly haha)

BONUS SCENE:

What are they so cute for honestly? The way Songhwa just BURST into laughter - that was the loudest laugh ever from her. They’re so cute please have mercy, my heart is fragile adkjsakjd

#iksong #hospital playlist season 2 #spoilers #lee ikjun x chae songhwa #lee ikjun #chae songhwa #my otp

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highfivesandgoodtimes · 3 years

Text

spooning - nolan patrick

****ya girl is back w another patty fic. this might be one of my favorite things I've written so let me know what you think! this is some tooth aching fluff with our favorite stoic boy.*****

“Did you just throw a spoon at me?”

Okay maybe you were being a little over dramatic. But it was warranted, he said over and over that he would be done in 5 minutes yet, here he was, 45 minutes later, still in front of that damn TV.

You knew the struggle of dating a hockey player and you were okay with them, most of the time anyways. Nolan was back on the ice this season and while you couldn’t be happier to see your boy back doing what he loves, he was driving you crazy.

Nolan had this weird thought that he had something to prove to the team, to the fans, to the entire city. After missing a season due to injury, he felt that he had to come back 10x better than he already was. You told him over and over again that it was really unnecessary since the team had faith in him and he was already playing fantastic as usual and he didn't owe those loud mouth reporters shit. Yet, it went in on ear and out the other. He spent extra time at the rink after practice, working on his shot, his speed, his passes, anything and everything he possibly could.

Which lead to right now. You had barely seen Nolan this week due to games, practices, and you working so tonight was supposed to be one night to spend time together. You were going to cook dinner and Nolan even agreed to help and cook with you. You were honestly pretty excited to spend some time together and actually have a conversation with him that wasn't “good morning” or “good night”.

Except you were standing in the kitchen, alone, halfway done cooking dinner and Nolan was sitting on the couch watching tapes from the team’s game last season against the Islanders in preparation for this weeks game. You asked multiple times for him to pause it and he promised just 5 more minutes every time.

So yes, you did throw a spoon at him.

All you did was shrug when he asked and turned around to go back to cooking.

“Babe? Did you just throw a spoon at me?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” If he wanted to lie about being done with the game, then you could lie about the spoon. It was obvious he didn’t believe you but you did hear him pause the TV and heard his feet shuffling around the floor.

You faced the stove and stir the pot you had on the burners when you felt hands slide around your waist and rest on your hips. Nolan shoved his face into your neck and he nuzzled into your skin as he pressed his body flush against yours.

He mumbled a “baby?” into your neck and you hummed in response. He pulled his head up a bit to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Why did you throw a spoon at me?”

“Why am I cooking dinner alone?”

The crickets were awfully loud tonight.

“Okay, so it appears I may have forgotten that I promised to help you cook tonight.” He leaned up and starting repeated kisses to your cheek. “I’m sorry honey, I got dishes tonight and dinner tomorrow, I promise.”. You still had yet to answer him. It may have been a bit dramatic but you were kinda hurt, all you wanted was a bit of quality time with him. Nolan continued to kiss your cheeks, your forehead, your chin, and all the way down to your shoulder blade. You still gave him not reaction and focused on the stove in front of you. It wasn't until Nolan rubbed his beard into your neck and started tickling his finger against your side did you crack.

“Stop it, I’m mad at you! Couldn’t you figure that out when I chucked a spoon at your head?” you were half laughing, half trying to put up a serious front.

“Yeah, the spoon flying at my head kinda gave that away. I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to forget. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He pouted at you, sliding his arms back around your waist. He pulled you flush against him once again and starts swaying side to side.

“Nol, you don’t get it. I really missed you this week, we’ve barely seen each other. I was looking forward to actually spending some time together but noooooo you just had watch more stupid hockey tapes.” you grumbled out that last part and took a rather aggressive jab at the pan with the spatula you were holding. He sat quietly for a moment while still swaying you back and forth slowly. You felt him rub his nose against your neck before he pressed his lips softly against the side of your head for a brief moment.

“You’re right. I got too caught up in being back and got lost in the hockey hype. I neglected you and our relationship. I’m sorry baby, I’ll try to not let it happen again. If it does, you have my full permission to throw more spoons at him.” he mumbled. You hummed in response, appreciating his words and knowing that he meant them. “Here, let me help.” he grabbed the spatula from your hands and bumped you out of your place in front of the stove with his hip. You stared at him in amusement as he started stiring the dinner in the pan. “Cmon, I got this. go pour some wine and put on your favorite song.” he smiled at your, nodding his head toward the bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen island. You sighed but did as he said anyway. You grabbed two glasses and poured you both some wine. You put on your “chill” playlist, a favorite of both you and Nolan, and made your way back over to the stove.

Placing the glasses on the counter, you wrapped your arms snuggly around his midsection and rested your head against his back. You rested against him for a minute and mumbled a soft “missed you” against his shirt. You watched as he lowed the flame on the stove and spun around to face you. His hands landed at your waist as he tugged you close to him. Your chin was on his chest as you stared up at him. He smiled down at you contently and bent down to press a soft kiss to your lips.

“Hi baby.” he said, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. He always had a way of making you feel like a giddy schoolgirl.

“Hi honey.” you smiled back at him, relishing on finally getting a moment with your boyfriend. He kissed you one last time before pulling away from your hold.

“C’mon you love this song.” He said as he grabbed your hands and pulled you into the middle of the kitchen. He spun you around by the hand and dramatically dipped you into his arms, which always made you laugh. Before long, the two of you were spinning each other around the kitchen, dramatically dipping each other. There’s a chance your attempt to dip Nolan failed majorly and he may have ended up on the floor while you cracked up but that was a story for another time.

The two of spun around the kitchen, smiling, laughing, and just enjoying the time you two had together for a couple songs until Nolan realized dinner needed to be finished. He returned to the stove, stirring food around in the pot, while you perched on the counter with your glass of wine. Nolan told you all about his practice and all the funny things the boys chirped at each other while you caught him up on all of the latest work drama and the conversation you had with his sister a few days before.

You passed Nolan plates as he placed dinner on them and the two of you headed to the table. Dinner was lovely, the conversation flowing as smooth as always. Smiles were spread across both of your faces as both of you clearly loved having this time to catch up with each other. Nolan smiled extra softly at you as you told him how dinner with your friends went the other night and reached out to hold your hand across the table.

“You know,” he started as you finished your story, “this is all I want in life. I just want me and you, together like this, for the rest of my life.”

“I- you- what?” you stuttered as he caught you off guard. He chuckled at your surprise and kissed your hand.

“Babes, you can’t be surprised by that. We’ve legit talked about marriage and kids, why would I not want you for the rest of my life?” he asked you. Well he did have a point, we had talked often about your future together and have recent taken the step to move in together.

“I don’t know, just caught me by surprise. It’s always nice to hear though, I want you forever too Nols. You’re it for me.” you said as you leaned over the table to kiss him.

“Thanks baby, you’re it for me too.” he replied back to you in his typical deep voice. He lifted the back the your hand that he was holding up to his lips, kissing it gently. Then, in true Nolan fashion, he casually changed the conversation to a story about the boys messing around and almost getting in trouble this morning after practice.

The two of you ended the night by migrating to your bed, opting for a movie and some comfy clothes. You laid with your head on his shoulder and you two watched the next couple episodes of the newest show you had been binging. You rolled closer to him, resting your head in the curve of his neck and wrapping your arms around his shirtless torso. His hand fell into your hair and your eyes fell shut at the calming feeling. You felt yourself start to doze off but not before you felt Nolan pull you closer and press a kiss to the top of your hair. He mumbled a soft “love you” as you fell asleep, thankful that you decided to throw a spoon at him.

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asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3 · 4 years

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Ok but the episode starts out with a hunt. Clearly Sam and Dean just aren’t into it anymore. They’re old, they’ve saved the world countless times. Sam is distracted with texting Eileen, he misses her. Dean keeps seeing things that remind him of Cas, he’s sad.

It leads to Cas coming back. Either Jack brought him back before and he was too embarrassed to find Dean, or Dean saves him, or maybe the Empty spits everyone Jack woke up out (Cas included). It doesn’t matter, Cas is back. Dean hugs him, it looks tender enough, like he might break if Cas disappears from his arms. But there’s no confession, we’re devastated.

Then it cuts to Sam and Eileen’s wedding. Time has passed, we just don’t know how much. Everyone’s there, or everyone alive at least. Bobby, Charlie, Jody and Donna. All the people they’ve met along the way. Family, friends. Dean and Cas sit next to each other at a table, they’re both in suits and they look great. It’s still unclear what their relationship is to the audience but they’re Happy. Jack phases in and out of background shots, content on staying unseen. He may not want to put himself in the story, but Sam is still his Dad, he wouldn’t miss the wedding for the world. People are dancing and laughing. One song ends and another begins.

“Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Dean looks around the room. All the familiar faces. Sam and Eileen are both so radiant, they’re so happy, so in love. Claire and Kaia are dancing, something simple just swaying back and forth, neither of them are great dancers.

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can’t help falling in love with you?”

Charlie and Stevie on the other hand look like they’re professionals, like they were made to dance together.

“Like a river flows surely to the sea,”

Garth and Bess move slightly off beat to the rhythm. They’re laughing over something Dean can’t hear. He smiles, too.

“Darling, so it goes some things are meant to be.”

Dean turns to Cas, watching the way his eyes light up. He’s watching the dancers the same way Dean had been. There’s a sad yearning look on his face.

“Take my hand.”

Suddenly Dean’s on his feet, hand outstretched to Cas. He nods toward the dance floor, looking sheepish.

“Take my whole life, too.”

Cas stares up at him with wide eyes before smiling. He grabs Dean’s hand and follows him to the floor.

“For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Dean pulls Cas close, resting his head on his shoulder. They’re content, happy. No one spares them a second glance or makes it seem weird. Sam notices and smiles. The camera pans out and we watch everyone dance for the rest of the song.

The screen goes black. The credits roll. Supernatural is over.

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toujoursmiraculous · 3 years

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Thoughts and Reaction to WISHMAKER

Oh I'm so excited about this one! Marinette's little soft looks she gives Adrien in recent episodes before snapping herself out of it is adorable. Not overwhelming, just nice. Poor Adrien doesn't know what he wants to do. But the thing that hurts me most (probably because I was always in the same position he is in, so understand more than hurt from it) is the fact he thinks that with Ladybug adding more people to the team, he won't be needed and thus won't be Chat Noir anymore. OOOF it hurts! Poor Adrien doesn't realize that if Ladybug didn't give these Miraculous out, Shadow Moth would've gotten their Miraculous from them a long time ago. I rewatched all episodes out now in chronological order, and it's so obvious she cares about him and could not be able to do what she does without him. What needs to happen is for her to not only tell him that, but express it somehow for him to believe it.

"Come on, Plagg. It's time to start thinking about our future." OUR future. He's including Plagg in that future. Good! I definitely understand what this episode is trying to get across about jobs and careers, but a majority of people can't and never end up doing a job or career they love and gives meaning. Some struggle just to find something they can do with their circumstances, much less something that'd make them happy. A very good message though to encourage young kids to look into many interests and try to find what you enjoy to life to end up doing that makes an impact on the world to spread the positivity and happiness. Hey hey hey Alec, how dare you go after Andre the Ice Cream Maker?! But good on him for not letting it affect him at all, he's doing what he loves so the criticism doesn't matter. "Pistachio and pecan for the clear-sighted young man!" "Who? What young man?" "Hello Marinette." I love Luka so much and Andrew's voice is so smooth. x3 I've wanted to learn the violin for years, I have one, but have never been able to do much with it. Luka having and playing his violin makes me incredibly happy (and adore him even more). "Whoa. You definitely have a gift for finding the right words at the right time." "Adrien." "Ah, well, most of the time." LOL But this entire scene. Luka saying you haven't told him about your feelings have you, her noticing he's sad, and Luka being like let's go talk to him and help him then! Just. AWWW! Poor Adrien has so much pressure to find something he wants to do or his dad will make him do what he wants instead. That's going to make it even harder for him to find something... I remember a spoiler from a long time ago, of Adrien baking with Marinette. What if he finds he loves it when that happens, and it's what he wants to do? :o Ahahahaha when Luka goes and sits next to Adrien, Adrien looks up at Marinette expectantly to sit down too. Probably thought by him. but she went the safe route and went next to Luka. xD Adrien, thinking he knew what Luka and Marinette want to do. Luka knows what he wants but it isn't what Adrien or the rest of us thought. Marinette thought she knew but now she's not sure at all. So all three are kind of confused and it's complicated. Life's complicated. Have you noticed, this is the most honest Marinette and Adrien have ever been about something so deep and personal to them? And they're able to do it around each other. Because Luka's there. He's like their emotional guide to help bring them closer and I love it. "Nothing, my mind is empty!" "I'm completely lost!" - Marinette and Adrien say together. Dang. When Luka explains Marinette and Adrien's "inner music" that felt like the most deep and personal scene this show has ever had. "You two will eventually find what's already in front of you," he says before he knew. As they look at each other. Oh lovely foreshadowing moment here. "But you can't hear it clearly, just let the melody flow." In other words, let things happen as they should. Don't force anything. If it feels right to do something, do it. If it doesn't, don't. Wow that violin is so beautiful. Adrien and Marinette's reactions in

sync, the surprise at the tune, the contentedness, and wordlessly looking at each other before getting up and sitting closer. Such a beautiful scene, this has me in awe honestly. "I've wasted my life!" oh I'm sure that hit hard with some of us older viewers. :c I have trouble sometimes not thinking this way, but there's always still time to change how things are. I love that everyone's dreams are either sweet and positive or just plain silly. Like CrocoJagged.

Hey, hi there, son! I absolutely lost it LOL this was brilliant! And the way he runs away on his hind legs it's too much XD "Hey Adrien, go hide behind that tree!" and then he drags Marinette along to hide her. So funny he's the one taking control in this situation. He's really shown his superhero potential in this and Optigami, even when not suited up. oooh Marinette wasn't where he brought her. That was sus. "HEEEELP I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!" "If we get hit, we'll reveal our secret identities!" "What do you mean, m'lady?" "When I was six I wanted to be the Knitting Fairy, and the Knitting Fairy didn't wear a mask!" The fact she's distracted and Chat Noir had to be paying attention to pull her to safety was such a Ladybug move. What do you mean you're not needed, Chat?! Obviously you are! Also she's giving you information about herself! LISTEN. She never used to and doesn't have to tell you these things, she's choosing to! And she even asked about you and your childhood! "You must have just forgotten!" or didn't have one. I honestly didn't have a dream as a kid, either. I don't know, I never wanted to grow up and be anything in particular that I thought I could do. I didn't have wishes of things I wanted to do for fun much either. I don't know why exactly, but I had a dad that's enough like Gabriel so maybe that's why. (My sister proceeded to tease me about being a sentimonster, since there's that "Adrien's a sentimonster" theory going around). "But Dad, crocodiles know how to swim..." "I didn't when I was a kid!" THIS SCENE XDD I love it! "If Chat Noir and I get hit, you must come back to this exact moment." Yeah it was at that point my suspicions of Luka finding out about them both seemed to be very likely to happen. "Nobody can know about our secret identities." At this point I was going omg omg omg omg the entire time lol The fact that Adrien would decide to have his identity revealed so he could learn more about himself to help him in the future. o.o This poor boy! And here's Luka finding out about Marinette being Ladybug! The dramatic zoom in! Viperion goes "Marinette?!" literally with Chat less than a foot away and he doesn't even budge. He's really that sad he's not even paying attention to what's going on Dx Okay, Ladybug calling on her Lucky Charm just to have the plushie squeak in her hand got me lol "My childhood dream is being what my parents wanted me to be!" Adrien seems happy. And he's himself, it looks like, so I don't know if we just got it cut off short or if he is exactly what his parents wanted him to be, so he's happy knowing that information?

This back and forth between a serious moment and a hilarious one! Shadow Moth's horrified Adrien's Chat Noir lolol not even the same kind of reaction that was in Chat Blanc when he found out . Okay but back to Luka. I think he was much too far away to hear what Adrien was actually saying, but he can see that it's Adrien standing where Chat Noir was.

He sees Adrien's where Chat Noir was.

The realization that Chat Noir is Adrien.

Understanding exactly what it means for Marinette to be Ladybug and Adrien to be Chat Noir. It's interesting how the people of Paris were able to still have jobs that was as close to their childhood dreams as possible. The man that wanted to be Santa makes toys. Mr. Banana wanted to be a cucumber and while he's not one, he wears a Banana suit every day. Jagged wanted to be a crocodile so the closest he could get was to have one as a pet. Marinette wanted to be the Knitting Fairy and look at all she can knit and sew! Alec: "When I was a kid, I just wanted people to be happy!" so sad that his bullying made him want to make others miserable instead. But it's nice that he wants to start now trying to make others smile and be happy c: "Sorry Alec, but when you're a superhero, even your dreams have to remain a secret." But she told Chat Noir hers. If that's not her going in the direction of outright telling him who she is....! Please let Luka be the one to help Ladybug with Chat Noir and Adrien with Marinette. Please. They need it. They have to have Ladybug realize her feelings for Chat and be willing to tell him everything. And they need Adrien to open his eyes and realize his feelings for Marinette. Once those things happen, they'll be okay. Except Adrien still doesn't know what his dream is because that was taken away by Second Chance. Personally, I think his dream of wanting what his parents wanted him to be, is what he already is. He just doesn't know it. As for his future, that can be up to him to start finding! "Thanks to you, our secret identities were persevered and nobody discovered who Chat Noir and I really are..... uh, not even you, right?" "Not even me. Luckily Wishmaker never hit you or Chat Noir." LIES Funny that he was "Truth" before, but now he's spitting lies. HOWEVER don't worry, I understand very much why he's lying and with the way Marinette is, this would be something she'd worry about and obsess over and Luka doesn't want that for her. He knows he can handle it, and she'll find out about it later when she's meant to. I just think it's ironic and funny lol And ooooof the way Luka's face fell after she left. Poor bb. "It was nothing, Marinette. You know you can always count on me." Luka's going to be Marinette and Adrien's best friend in a way that Nino and Alya just can't be. I can feel it. "We're all okay. Thanks to Ladybug and Chat Noir."

Oh. Oh you dorks! It's like they somehow know deep down they're Ladybug and Chat Noir with that look at that line. They're looking at each other like they know to some extent... I'm sure nothing happened in an episode we have yet to see but, it feels a bit weird, don't you think? "I may not remember my childhood dreams, but that's okay! It's time to focus on the future and find my inner music, like Luka said!" AWWW good for you my precious sunshine boy! Keep being you. Also Adrien's disturbed look at Plagg killed me again.

Marinette: "I'll do it all! .... I'll be Luka's best friend and I'll love Adrien!" Yeah see, that's it! You guys are best as best friends, and Luka will one day find someone else and he'll be happy to have you as his best friend when that time comes too. As far as all the other stuff, that sounds very busy and exhausting, but if it makes her happy! "How can you love other people if you don't love yourself?" Oh dang, that's such a good line to have put in this show honestly! Nicely done. So this is definitely one of if not my favorite episode. Chat Blanc's been my favorite but this is at least up there with it! There's so much to take from this episode, and so much that can come from this episode's events that I'm both extremely excited and scared to find out what happens next.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml season 4 spoilers #ml spoilers season 4 #wishmaker spoilers #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #chat noir #ladybug #viperion #thoughts and reaction to wishmaker #toujoursmiraculous thoughts and reaction

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