#all the while bullying any fans that dared to try and reasonably criticize their terrible and/or questionable creative decisions

[applestorms]

been reading through some of the author commentary from the patreon post archive for HS^2 stuff & writing notes on certain quotes from it and i think i've come up with (slightly) more distinct reasons for why the epilogues/homestuck^2 feel so off and/or frustrating to me. not gonna post the full thing + i'm only about halfway through reading it all, but here's a few points (warning this one gets kinda political):

It’s possible “Ultimate” Dirk’s presence was suppressing other splinters of himself from manifesting.

Wait, so... Ult. Dirk is just suppressing the other splinters? But I thought the entire point was that he subsumed all the other splinters to become one Ultimate Self? Weird, but I guess that plays more into the narrative powers side of things that they put a lot of emphasis on. That, or the creators don't have a very clear idea of what actually makes an Ultimate Self, which would. also work lmfao

Unlike the other victors of the game, Jane threw herself into the world the kids made together. She grew up preparing to take over a major company, and has the confidence to show for it.

Gonna get more into two ideas here in a bit related to this quote, the first being HS^2's Trump Era politics & the second being Jane more specifically. Here's the first connection:

I don’t know if you noticed, but everything is terrible right now. And I don’t mean just in Homestuck’s dumb fake earth. I mean in our dumb real earth. Our planet is burning and folks go to bed hungry just so twelve guys can have more money than Croesus could have ever dreamed of. The concept of “truth” is at its most tenuous – political divisions involve contradictory interpretations of basic facts. I’ve been playing a lot of Death Stranding recently. Basically any media that you’re making in 2019 has to either address what’s going on around us or come off sanitized, sterilized, with its head in the sand. Kojima offers a simple power fantasy: Through Norman Reedus’s sweaty, urine-filled labor, the things that divide us can be banished. America can be unified again.

HS^2 is kind of agonizingly pessimistic when it comes to its (not at all subtle) political messaging, which I suppose you can in part attribute to a Trump-era leftist/liberal culture, but I personally also attribute to a specific flavor of white person existential pessimism. What frustrates me about HS^2's politics in particular though is just how much it talks down to the reader, acting like their (frankly, imo, pretty fuckin basic) reflections on the flaws of capitalism, gender constructs, and contemporary American politics are these revolutionary ideas that nobody other than them truly understands. It's really aggravating to read, honestly, and reminds me a lot of the perspective reflected on in this video by F.D Signifier about Bo Burnham's Inside & white performative liberalism, though in this context the creators are much more insufferable about it than Burnham ever was. (This is NOT to say every creator working on HS^2 was white or even ascribes/d to these kinds of politics, but that's one of the voices that I feel comes through the strongest.)

Edit: Re-watched that whole video and he really does get at the exact idea I'm thinking of. However, I would add that the thing that makes HS^2 feel especially insufferable to me is the fact that it doesn't feel like the authors are engaging in their politics as genuinely or personally as Burnham does. Where Burnham's look into these issues is self-reflective, the existential dread coming from the ways in which he himself plays a part in perpetuation of systems of oppression, I feel like HS^2's creators were unwilling to look at the ways in which they themselves might've benefited from the same kinds of privileges. It's just- it's egotistical, honestly! And it's a vibe that I get from a lot of heavily queer, young, white fandom spaces, which presume that because of their own experiences with queer and trans-based bigotry they understand everything and don't have to examine their own biases or any other nuances to their social position/the privileges they might personally have & continue to benefit from. I don't know- Homestuck was never going to be a good medium for examining the nuances of race and privilege, that was determined by the very first page or whenever Hussie decided non-canon races were a thing, but that doesn't make it any less agonizing to watch such a ham-fisted, pompous attempt at "social commentary." Ugh.

I guess I can understand the desire to get HS^2's politics to be more up to date and with it, again considering what the Trump-era American political landscape looked like (and what HS proper looked like, let's be real), but the way they approach this just makes the authors seem that much more immature to me. I hesitate to even call this political commentary, it's just pointing out that things are bad and then complaining about it. There's no hope here and it shows, and I personally have very little patience when it comes to that kind of perspective. I don't want to be too harsh to the creators or completely undermine the ways they might've faced structural social challenges (yes, trans people have it fucking bad right now! And there was absolutely some bigoted shit directed at the creators that was more reprehensible than anything here, I was there when this shit was coming out, I saw it all too (alongside the genuinely good criticism that they wrote off just as easily, but I digress)), but this shit is just bad, I'm sorry.

Privilege, safety, and inherited wealth do funny things to the brain. People justify to themselves why they have what they have. If you have enough for long enough, you start to convince yourself you deserve it. Jane won the game, lost very little, and as god of a new world decided to dominate its markets as a corporate mogul. Her conception of what was possible with her capability and god-like reason was shaded, limited by the world she grew up in. She is not a goddess of fantasy, a semi-mythical trickster creature like Jasprose, or a meta-aware marionette master like Dirk. She saw a new world and chose, simply, to replicate the power structures of the 21st-century America she was raised in. Boardrooms, power pantsuits, formality and professionalism.

(Longer quote here justifying the horror they did to Jane's character but let's add one more before I elaborate further)

But in the end, isn’t that what every story is? Trying to untie knots that you put in the rope yourself?

This quote is very telling and gets at my issue with the Jane quote from above, really one of my main issues with the all post-canon shit just in general: when the authors were creating a bunch of problems and inserting them into the story, something that is (typically) necessary for any kind of meaningful storytelling, they went about the process of introducing that conflict totally wrong.

In the original story of HS, problems for the characters primarily originated from Sburb, which acts as both the game they're playing and, as is demonstrated throughout Act 1, the world itself. Problems in the story thus often feel at least kind of true to life because they either originate directly from the game & its constructs (which the characters have no control over, parallel to how you can't usually control the world irl) or individuals responding to those circumstances w/ their own set of unique characteristics (Vriska being an active character and creating villains to become a hero but also Rose deciding she has to go through with a suicide mission in response to the game/Doc Scratch and Dave in turn responding to her actions, etc. etc.).

This is not necessarily true for all of the story or every single plot point/character arc, but I think it generally follows, and so for as meta as HS gets, it never really felt to me like you could see the hand of the author when it comes to how major plot elements are introduced, outside of a few very overt examples. Problems are able to crop up fairly naturally through characters responding in what they think to be natural/rational ways to their circumstances, but may or may not be due to the limitations on their understanding. The situation and environment of Sburb and the world of HS itself may be absurd and stupid and crazy and very obviously created by an author, but the characters typically feel consistent and true to themselves as people in how they respond to the absurdity and confusion of their world. It's one of the reasons why I think HS is so appealing as a coming of age story actually, since stepping into adulthood (or even just your teenage years) does often feel like entering a world that is crazy and cruel and unknowable with all of these malicious, far-away forces that know way more than you could ever possibly understand controlling every detail of the world around you and deciding your fate before you even get the chance to know it's coming. These are kids, they really don't have a lot of power even once they ascend to godhood in comparison to the forces they're dealing with, and the story & world reflects that.

The problem w/ HS^2 & the Epilogues is that the authors don't have the same game construct to work with, barely have a world at all to begin with actually, and so they instead twist pretty much every single character into the worst possible versions of themselves in order to try and recreate the same HS absurdity. But it just doesn't work, because there is no real explanation for why every character is suddenly at their lowest point and acting like a fucking idiot all the time other than "ooo adulthood makes everyone worse!" and vague gestures to capitalism and privilege (or what I would call structural ignorance, though I don't think they ever call it that), so the story just comes across as incredibly cruel and uncaring and unabashedly pessimistic in a way that's just miserable to read.

Yes, Jane grew up privileged, it makes sense that she would be sympathetic to capitalism and try to recreate the same social structures that fucked people up on the original Earth- but that is not nearly enough justification for why she has suddenly gone full fascist dictator endorsing troll eugenics and trying to murder people, and it doesn't even work well as social commentary cause it's so extreme right from the start that it couldn't possibly reflect real life issues or the development of actual fascist/bigoted ideas. Yes, Trump's ties to the alt-right are fucking terrifying and conservative politics in general in the U.S. nowadays are incredibly fucked, but there's still logical people and seemingly rational explanations being utilized to justify the bullshit that many people genuinely believe in and HS^2 fails to meaningfully reflect or comment on any of those, at least from what I can tell. Everyone is consistent with how they are terrible, I'll give them that, for Dirk and Jane and everyone else the flaws that are being emphasized are ones that are generally kind of consistent with canon, but I simply cannot get behind why they suddenly decided to be the worst possible versions of themselves other than that the authors realize they needed plot and decided that the best way to make Candy and Meat the Bad Timelines:tm: was to spontaneously make everyone as insufferable as possible.

I think a part of the problem is the time skip, honestly. And the fact that Earth C as a location itself is surprisingly underutilized when it comes to creating problems for the characters. The characters are gods ruling over a world where they can be dictator of the globe at the end of a single election. Without the game and the lack of distinct outside villains, there is nothing stopping them from having full agency over everything other than each other, so in order to create plot, instead of going through the effort to create a world or social structure they just made everyone worse and called it a day. It's like the epitome of white liberalism's inability to understand bad systems vs. bad individuals- there are no real systems here, nothing that actually functions past a name, so everyone is just fucking terrible.

(Honestly, I think the fact that there are no overt outside villains could've been a good way of transitioning to the fact that these characters aren't kids anymore- if Dirk and Jane didn't have to be transformed into fucking caricatures of themselves in order to do it. Really the problem is that so many of the characters that used to add interesting nuance to the social conflict are fucking dead now. RIP trolls.)

Since this is turning out to be the political astronaut ramble I guess I'll just keep going for a bit: one of the most meaningful insights a professor has ever given to me came is the idea that we "haven't earned our pessimism yet," as the younger generations, or haven't faced The Shit directly or long enough to justify having as little hope as we do. Many of us have looked at the problem and given up before even trying to solve it, and are, in fact, not really justified in making such a decision.

For me, there's an additional layer to that idea as well: one of the ideas that Beauvoir talks about in her feminist philosophy is that of agency, wherein social privilege allows for certain groups to decide which meaning-creating projects they want to or to not take on where others are not allowed to make the same choice. If you sit in any kind of position of social privilege, that historical role has continually been the one to not only benefit from the rules, but make them in the first place. This kind of pessimism is thus not just unearned, not just frustrating to listen to, but actively harmful to the creation of meaningful change. Who really benefits from inaction? From a lack of change to the status quo? And who are the privileged to make decisions about whether or not we're allowed to fight for this shit in the first place?

#astronaut rambles #big warning this one got a lot more political (sorry?) #i hope this doesn't come across as too harsh ik it gets a little preachy at the end #but i just. i have *so* little patience for that shit now guys #it was insufferable when hs^2 was first coming out and the creators were scrambling to justify their own actions #all the while bullying any fans that dared to try and reasonably criticize their terrible and/or questionable creative decisions #and it only gets worse the more time that passes #i almost get secondhand embarrassment reading these commentaries just from how unprofessional they can be #do not recommend #hs #rose tag #it's kind of difficult for me to properly criticize post-canon stuff actually #i don't know what it is about it #it's like it's just consistent enough w/ just enough half-decent ideas that sometimes i think its not that bad or ill even enjoy parts of i #but then i read certain comments and just. Remember #the Horrors #kinda scared to post this one but i've read it over a few times guess i'll just go for it

[thevalleyisjolly]

for the fandom of your choice/whatever is more applicable (although if u have any spicy d20 takes 👀👀): 3, 5, 7, 13 and 18

Ooh, thanks Jack! Had curry for lunch today so I'm full of spice and ready to let loose!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I stay out of the general tags for a reason, but my top 3 all fall along the same lines - the idea that K is a "toxic" person to pair with Evan because they don't really "see" him for him (...which is exactly the flaw and the room for growth that Erika built into the character), the idea that Ricky was "bullying" Cody because he was upset about Cody's cultural appropriation, and the whole non-consensual brain surgery thing with Norman.

(The common theme is people accusing Asian PCs of being mean to their white faves and therefore deserving of all sorts of bad things. Funny how that's happened not once, not twice, but thrice, huh)

5. worst discord server and why

As most of my friends and IRL classmates can tell you, I'm not super active on Discord and am horrible at answering messages in a timely fashion, so I don't actually have a server that I particularly dislike!

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Keradin, Limon, and Evan Kelmp are the first ones that spring to mind. Keradin actually has some interesting character beats and flaws but I've never seen anyone try to engage with him as his own character, they just interpret everything he does as part of a relationship dynamic with Lapin. Limon is a fucking background comedic NPC and I am still annoyed that during and after the season, people were willing to credit him with so much complexity and interiority while downplaying/outright shitting on the actual PCs.

With Evan, I'm not a huge fan of the character concept to begin with but I'm even more livid that in one of the most diverse D20 seasons, fandom actively sidetracked and ignored and even denigrated every other character in favour of the sad white boy played by the sole white player at the table. To be clear, Brennan is great, nothing against the man, but I was in the tags when the season aired live and about 95% of the posts were Evan-centred. Sam, Whitney, and K barely showed up unless they were interacting with Evan or did a particularly funny bit. And that's not even getting into the hate and criticism that got thrown at K for daring to be in a mutual romantic relationship with Evan.

13. worst blorboficiation

See previous question, but oddly enough, I also feel like Emily gets this treatment sometimes? It's complicated because there's one portion of the fandom that acts like she's a terrible chaotic player who keeps trying to fuck up Brennan's plans for shits and giggles (which is outright wrong and misogynistic) and then there's another portion that acts like Emily's characters can do no wrong and Emily may in fact be the only player at the table who knows what she's doing at any given point in time while the rest of them are just comedic yahoos fumbling their way through dice rolls and jokes. Which, placing women on a pedestal is in fact also sexist, and it's not any better than the misogyny you're responding to. It's a huge disservice to the cast and it's especially a huge disservice to Emily - she creates incredibly complex and well thought out characters who have their strengths and their flaws, and acting like they're all perfect girlbosses who are right even when they're wrong erases so much of the depth that Emily put into them.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

I mean, we all know my answer is of course going to be Cumulous Rocks, but as per a recent post of mine (and many posts in the past), the answer is also more broadly applicable to Zac and pretty much all of his PCs.

#thanks jack! #someday d20 fandom is gonna have a reckoning about the superficial progressiveness in our fan spaces #and how despite lauding the show for its diversity #the actual fandom treats characters of colour (and honestly players of colour) as accoutrements to the white characters and white players #praising white characters for breathing and holding characters of colour to unreasonable double standards #pigeonholing and diminishing players of colour while uplifting white players as the ultimate gods of roleplay and gameplay #oops there's some bonus salt in the tags for ya

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #sexism #classism #hp meta #fandumb #hp fandom

[shadyb00ts]

How 2020 Turned Me Into A Swiftie Again

If you’d told me a few years ago that I’d have not one but two Taylor Swift albums in my year-end favorites list, I would’ve thought you were out of your mind. Then again, stranger things have happened in this hellscape of a year.

I’m really not sure where the first time I heard the phrase “Life is too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift” was. I have no idea who originated it, but it stuck with me when I started to unpack that about a year ago, during her Lover era. By then, my perception and feelings about Taylor had been very... inconsistent, to say the least. I started out as a full-on stan, then it dwindled from there overtime until I basically became a hater, which then turned into indifference but silent respect. Now, I’m pretty much on the road to becoming a stan again. Revisiting her catalog, analyzing her lyrics, watching interviews, the works. 

I wanted to examine what it was that made my opinions about her go through so many steep rises and falls within this entire decade. Part of it was her shift in musical style that I didn’t quite mesh with, but another part was owning up to the internal biases I had when I was younger and how gullible I was in going along with whatever the media or the popular conscious was saying about her and the kind of person she is. 

I’m somebody who’s incapable of separating art from the artist. I simply don’t listen to artists when I don’t like them as people or don’t agree with their actions. Examples include but are not limited to Kim Petras, Melanie Martinez, Azealia Banks, Grimes, just to name a few. I have my own personal reasons for just not wanting to engage with any of their music, and if you still want to, that’s none of my business.

At some point in my life, I think Taylor got on that list. Looking back on it now, I find that completely ridiculous, because she never really did anything or acted in a way that warranted that reaction out of me. So I wanted to delve into how that even came about in the first place.

With that said, I want to take a trip down memory lane and go back through her eras, and go through the timeline of my strange relationship with Taylor Swift’s body of work as well as her public persona. Fair warning, it’s gonna be really cheesy and emotional at parts, but it is fully my truth. Thank you in advance if you manage to read the whole thing.

Part 1: The Country Era

It’s 2010 and I’m in eighth grade. I’m in an extremely Muslim country, the only son of an extremely Muslim family that enrolled me in an extremely Muslim school. I’m getting bullied by the boys in my class for being too feminine and being ignored by the girls for being a boy. The last close friend I had from elementary school had just moved away the year prior, and I’d never felt more alone in my life.

I was a closeted gay kid still trying to figure himself out and hating who he was. I escaped to cringey online chat sites like IMVU and catfished as a girl, because at the time I thought the only way to get boys to like me and want to be with me was to pretend to be someone else, someone I actually liked.

When I think back on this era, I mostly remember the girls in my class obsessing over these three albums and singing her songs with each other all the time. I desperately wanted to join them and fangirl with them over her music, though of course they never gave me the time of day. I remember I would memorize so many of her songs and write them all down on a special notebook I kept. When I wasn’t paying attention in classes, that’s what I would do; scribble out a collection of all the songs of hers that I knew by heart.

To me, these three albums represented a certain kind of vivid fantasy. Taylor’s songwriting has obviously grown exponentially over the past decade, but even back then she was always so damn good at storytelling and detail, painting you a very clear picture of a scene and placing you right there. For a miserable, self-hating fourteen-year-old gay boy that was always seeking escapism from a homophobic environment, this was the perfect outlet for me to live out a different kind of life, to play pretend.

I honestly can’t explain what it is about her style of songwriting but she always made me feel like I was genuinely experiencing everything she was talking about. Things like kissing in the rain, riding around in the truck of the boy of my dreams in a tiny one horse town, shedding teardrops on a guitar that I definitely didn’t own, experiencing crushing heartbreak. This was stuff that my sheltered ass couldn’t comprehend.

Taylor perfectly captured that ideal, that small town girl with big dreams and storybook romances. I was in love with her discography at the time, having memorized pretty much the entirety of Fearless because that was my favorite of three. Middle school was hell for me, but her music was definitely something that helped me pull through, because she sent my imagination into overdrive.

This was a time in my life where I didn’t really care yet about an artist’s public image or the media’s portrayal of them, It was purely about the music for me. Of course, when looking at these albums now, there were a few questionable choices she made lyrically, I have to admit. Particularly with songs like “Better Than Revenge” and “Innocent”, both having aged terribly with the former being bafflingly misogynistic and the latter being about Kanye. As of my writing this, Taylor is currently in the process of re-recording her old catalog, and I assume that she would skip these two songs in particular, as well as several others that haven’t exactly aged well.

This era really got me through some tough times and she provided much-needed relief for me within each of these three albums. I’ll always have an attachment to them because of the bittersweet memories they represent.

Part 2: Red

Red I decided to put in its own category, because this was kind of a weird era for Taylor. Even back when I was an ignorant teenager that barely had any critical thinking skills, I felt the dissonance of this album and its Max Martin produced singles. This album represented Taylor dipping her toe into pop music, which she made abundantly clear when she decided to release We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together as the lead single.

I actually remember this moment quite clearly. She premiered the single at some kind of fan event that I believe was streamed live on YouTube, and either I watched it live or I watched the full recording of it later on. At the time I remember feeling it was kind of bizarre to hear Taylor adopt this style of music, because it was so drastically different from her previous work and it took me a while to adjust. Obviously I enjoyed pop music at the time as much as I do now, but I just hadn’t been expecting it to come from Taylor. 

Fortunately it was just the three singles that were full pop, and the rest of the album still had her signature DNA and also includes some of her best work. All Too Well, for example, is I think one of the best songs she’s ever made, if not the best. I think if I were introducing Taylor to someone that’s totally unfamiliar with her, that would be my first choice, because it’s a masterwork in songwriting and emotionality.

I do think the thing that irked me the most about this album and era, even to this day, was the lack of cohesion. Of course I figured that she would eventually venture into pop music, but the way in which she did it just felt a bit too jarring to me. Perhaps if the album had a more even distribution of pop songs and country songs, it would’ve been slightly more palatable for me. It’s not even that the three pop songs were bad; they were quite good for their time. Though to be completely honest they’re the songs I barely ever return to any time I listen to Red now. They’re the kind of catchy pop songs where it’s difficult not to get sick of them at a certain point in your life. I’ve grown to really dislike the lead single, and even 22.

Her image was also starting to get much more scrutinized by the media around this time. I think this era probably marked the sharp rise of the “Taylor Swift has too many boyfriends!” argument people loved to throw around. I wish I could say I was smart enough to not buy into that shit at the time, but I wasn’t. While it didn’t bother me, it was something that I wondered about, why she dated and broke up with so many guys at such a young age. It was something that I judged her for. Obviously I didn’t yet understand that it was normal for people her age to date around. Plus it gave her some great material.

By this time, Taylor was making the gradual transition of country sweetheart to pop star, and while Red was kind of a rocky start to that, naturally she managed to pull it off. But not quite flawlessly.

Part 3: The Pop Era

Okay, I have a lot to say about these girls.

I think this era started off strong with 1989. It was a more fully realized version of Taylor’s little pop experiment, and it actually had the cohesion that I needed to be able to fully adapt to this new style she’d cultivated. She wrote yet another one of her best songs with Blank Space, which I like to think was a precursor to Reputation (and dare I say that one song did Reputation’s concept better than that album as a whole?).

However... Shake It Off. I’m sorry, I just hate that song.

WANEGBT, the first single off of Red, isn’t exactly the best song either but it made sense as to why she chose that as the first single. It was to signify her dabbling into pop. Reputation’s first single I also am not the biggest fan of, but again, made perfect sense as an introduction, but I’ll get to that later. Shake It Off, though? For the life of me, I have no idea why this song was the first single. Or to be frank, why it was even on the album at all. 

I’m sorry y’all, I just hate it. Everything about it. The verses, the chorus, the appalling rap bridge. She should’ve kept that song in the drafts and released Blank Space as a first single, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on. Sorry Shake It Off stans, but I’m sure all three of you will get over it. ❤

That said, 1989 had some excellent songs, and I was finally starting to get used to Taylor doing pop. However, my excitement and enthusiasm for her music started to falter due to my weak mind at the time once again getting swayed by the media. 

This time, I began to see Taylor as someone that seemed to be very calculated and conniving in the way she curated her image. Something that didn’t sit well with me was the “girl squad” stuff, and how all of the women she surrounded herself with were essentially these supermodels with unattainable beauty standards, and also believing the rumors about how certain famous women were given private requests to join Taylor’s “squad”. And then of course, the Kim and Kanye thing happened. #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trended worldwide, and that was probably my earliest exposure to an instance of a celebrity getting canceled, so I was just happy to join the bandwagon. My opinion of her shifted like that, and it’s crazy to think about it now, how I barely had the capacity to form my own opinions and was easily influenced by everything I heard.

Despite me kind of joining the Taylor hate train, I did like Reputation as a concept. I liked how she disappeared from the public eye and came back being like, “You want me to be the villain? The snake? Fine.” Look What You Made Me Do, as I mentioned before, was the perfect choice for the first single despite the song itself being sonically....not the best. The music video and the line about how the old Taylor couldn’t come to the phone was an iconic moment in pop culture, I have to admit that.

I didn’t listen to the album as a whole until later, though. I was having my own hang-ups about Taylor that I think are silly now, but at the time when I didn’t like an artist I would mostly avoid their work. When I did listen to the album, though, I thought it was... okay. There’s one standout track to me and that is Getaway Car, and it’s the only song from Reputation I can say I fully adore to pieces. The other songs on there I either just like, or I find to be meh at best. (Also I know Ready For It is objectively a bad song but I really enjoy the chorus, don’t @ me, @ god)

A few years later, Lover happened and.... Once again, horrible first single. ME! is a genuinely atrocious song, and I have no idea how esteemed, prolific songwriter Taylor Swift managed to reach a point where she had a song with the phrase “spelling is fun!” in it. I feel the exact same way about this song as I do about Shake It Off. It had no business being in the album whatsoever.

As far as Lover the album goes, this came out around the time where I was kind of feeling indifferent toward Taylor (which is hilarious if you know what the first track on it is). I was much more politically aware and had learned not to put too much faith in white women, and I was focusing on other artists so much that Lover barely even came onto my radar. I listened to it once, thought it was meh, and moved on. I revisited it earlier this year and realized I was a bit too harsh on it the first time around. Sure it was her weakest album overall, but it wasn’t bad by any means. It was perfectly alright, and there were songwriting moments within it that were still quite strong. The title track and also Miss Americana comes to mind as standouts.

She started to become more vocal politically around this time. A lot of people thought it was too little too late, which was a fair point. However to me it made sense that she stayed tight-lipped about politics when she was younger, considering she was operating within the realm of country music. Plus, upon watching her documentary, it was pretty clear she had old white men behind the scenes telling her what she should or shouldn’t say, to make sure she maintained that all-American country girl sweetheart image. Still, I do agree with the people who thought that she should’ve used her platform sooner.

Oh and for the record, I think You Need to Calm Down is a terrible song. The video was cute, and the message behind it is fine, but I just hate it sonically.

At this point my interest in Taylor was probably at an all time low. The era started off strong with 1989, but it progressively got weaker. She just wasn’t really giving me much in terms of lyricism, and her pop productions were starting to blend together to the point where a lot of them were sounding very same-y. Lover to me marked the point of stagnation in her music; it was solid enough, but it just wasn’t going anywhere. We’ve seen Pop Taylor, she was cute for a while, but what else? Where does she go from here?

Well... She went into the woods.

Part 4: The Cottagecore Sisters

When I heard about Taylor dropping a surprise album, I suppose I was intrigued. She is one of the few artists that are successful enough to be able to make a move like that and cause a lot of buzz and excitement. I didn’t think much about it though, because my 2020 at that time was still inundated with SAWAYAMA and Ungodly Hour on repeat. On a whim, though, I decided to listen to it one day, not expecting much out of it.

Earlier when I was talking about her country era, I mentioned that Taylor’s storytelling and her penchant for detailed descriptions were my favorite parts of her writing. Her innate ability to transport me into other worlds, to provide escapism when my life became too much to deal with. I feel like these aspects were missing in the several years that Taylor focused on pop music. There were flashes of it in some of her later work, sure, but very few. She was becoming a huge mega superstar and her songs started to lose that sense of relatability that had been easy for me to latch on too. These things definitely contributed to my loss of interest for her work in general.

And then Folklore managed to bring me back to that place of fantasy I described before, but heightened. Elevated. Evolved. This is why I think that Folklore is Taylor Swift’s magnum opus.

Storytelling is without a doubt her strongest skill as an artist. To be able to construct not just a narrative but an entire world through songs is not something anyone can pull off. Throughout her pop era, there was always that something missing because I knew that she was capable of more. I couldn’t explain it well back then, but despite her penmanship still being commendable during those years, it still felt oddly lackluster. I knew she could do better, but I didn’t have the proof yet.

This is it. Both Folklore and Evermore showcase exactly what I knew she was capable of. This is Taylor Swift at her most creative, at her full power.

I think in a recent interview I watched (though I can’t remember which one), even she herself acknowledged how it would’ve been a disservice to continue strictly writing autobiographical songs, and so she decided to write from the perspectives of multiple different characters while also occasionally inserting herself and her life experiences into these narratives. She essentially created her own folklore and managed to make me invested in characters that don’t even exist.

I have to talk about the love triangle trilogy: cardigan, august and betty. It’s a testament to her songwriting ability that these fictional characters feel like real people. The story of Betty, James and Augusta/Augustine is just so well done to the point where I forget that it’s Taylor Swift singing. When I listen to these songs, I am fully imagining the characters she conjured up. 

The song that I find the most profound out of the three, and also happens to be my favorite song on the album, is august. To me, it is the most heartbreaking song out of all of them. I relate so much to that girl who’s hopelessly in love with someone that just doesn’t give a shit about them and is merely using her for a summer fling. And it’s not even like I’ve experienced something similar to this in real life, Taylor just somehow made it relatable with the sheer power of her pen game. It’s even more heartbreaking considering we don’t know what happened to this girl, if she ever managed to find happiness, because in the Long Pond Sessions Taylor mentioned that Betty and James eventually got back together. They got their happy ending, but what happened to Augustine?

I can’t believe she’s got me this deep in my feelings over non-existent teenagers, I swear to god.

Just when I thought Folklore was going to be the end of this new side of her for a while, she releases Evermore in December, its sister album. While I don’t think it’s quite as strong as Folklore, it still delivered immensely in terms of lyricism, productions and vocals. Evermore’s release pretty much solidified the realization that I was basically becoming a Swiftie again, a whole decade later.

I was embarrassed by that thought at first, but honestly now I’m at a point where I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed about. Taylor is too skilled of a songwriter for me to consider her a guilty pleasure. I just needed something to help me come to that conclusion, and these two albums did just that. She finally gave to me what I was waiting for.

Final Thoughts

I don’t really stan artists the same way I used to now, which I mentioned previously in my review of Chromatica. I don’t deify them or hold them to an impossible moral standard they could never live up to anymore. I see them as flawed human beings that have the capacity to make great art. So when I say I’m becoming a Swiftie, I’m still fully aware that Taylor Swift is a thirty-one year old rich white woman who is bound to have shortcomings and missteps as a person. In my mind, she hasn’t done anything drastic enough or stupid enough for me to become uncomfortable in listening to her work. I had my own ideas about how she could’ve been fake, conniving, manipulative or whatever else the media was trying to convey about her, but there really is no way of knowing who she truly is as a person.

Celebrities and influencers have the power to curate their image however they want. The relationships they have with us, the audience, are entirely parasocial, so of course we base our judgments of them based on very limited knowledge, or just the surface-level view of what they’re like. I don’t know if Taylor is as down to earth and genuine as she appears to be now, and I honestly don’t need to know. If she does things I disagree with or acts a certain way that deserves criticism, of course I’d still call her out, and depending on the severity of what it was she said or did, it might end up with me not wanting to engage with her work anymore.

But the reality is, as a person, I’ve realized that she is just fine. I was holding on to a certain idea of her in my head where I think at one point I dubbed her “the Anne Hathaway of music”, meaning someone that comes across too perfect to the point where it seems calculated and disingenuous. But honestly, I just don’t feel that way about her anymore. I don’t feel particularly attached to her as a person, either. 

But I do feel an attachment to her music. At the end of the day, that’s where I’m standing now when it comes to her. I don’t have any expectations or delusions about her as a human being, and I’m not going to remain devoted to her if she does something dumb, but I believe that she is an insanely gifted artist who has written so many songs that genuinely speak to me and make me feel intensely. She lost me for a while, but now I’m right back in it.

So yeah, like I said in the beginning of the post, life’s too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift. I’d rather just pretend to live in a mystical small town as a sad gay witch. And I’m at peace with that.

#taylor swift #taylor swift eras #folklore #evermore #swifties

[grimms-the-daydream-believer]

I’m not sure if someone has ever mentioned this, but I feel like it’s important to bring up.

Before the Sequels (or at least, before the Last Jedi which is when there seemed to be A LOT of hatred for the Sequels), everyone hated on the Prequels all the time. Everyone’s least favorite character was Jar Jar, everyone had some personal vendetta against George Lucas, that was just the thing. The status quo. Don’t you dare even think that there is some good part of the Prequels because no, they are a movie made by Satan himself.

And then the Sequels happened.

The Sequels (specifically TLJ) are so hard to talk about because they are, for some reason, so controversial. I’ve seen some people call TFA and/or TLJ the best Star Wars movies, while others called them even worse than yes, the prequels.

I always knew there was hate towards the Sequels but I never realized how terrible it was until I started talking to other Star Wars fans.

I talked to these people on Omegle (yes, the dreaded place) in the Star Wars tag and what they had to say was... Interesting.

I remember being asked who my least favorite character was and I said Jar Jar, and added “but that's probably what everyone says lol” and the person responded saying that most people say Rey or Rose are their least favorite.

Huh.

I feel like in recent years there has been some sorta... Redemption for the Prequels. I think mostly this is in part from the iconic memes but also do to the fact that the Sequels is the new thing to hate on, people are moving on from beating the dead horse that is the Prequels. Everyone’s... okay with them, at the least.

Back to my conversations with people on Omegle, most of them were Prequel fanboys. Those whose first introduction to Star Wars were the Prequels, those who didn’t grow up with Luke and Leia and Han but instead grew up with Anakin and Padme and Obi-Wan.

Those who grew up with their favorite movies being bashed, being hated and being torn apart by everyone who did grow up with the Original Trilogy.

From the few I have interacted with, these people refuse to believe that the Prequels can have any flaws and view them threw rose-tinted glasses. Many of them started the chats off with “I will not interact with prequel haters” or something along the lines.

Now, here's where the point I’m trying to make finally comes across.

These people, who cant bare to see their favorite movies bashed and hate being bashed for liking the prequels, go out and bash and tear apart the Sequels and Sequel fans.

While I don’t want to act like the Sequels are god sent or anything, I do believe people are taking this too far. I can’t be the only one who sees these parallels, can I?

Just for starters, Jake Llyod ceased acting do to bullying for his role, and Hayden Christensen whos role has forever tainted his resume. Sounds vaguely similar to Kelly Marie Tran, who left social medial do to all the hatred she got.

These Prequel Fanboys who just want to destroy the Sequels forget that the sequels are some kids Prequels if that makes sense. Rey and Poe and Finn are these kids heroes, their Luke and their Leia and their Han. These are the first PG-13 movies their seeing in theaters, their movie that could start a life long obsession with Star Wars. 

Yes, I know, just because a movie has young fans doesn’t mean we cant bash it, and I don’t want to act like the Sequels don’t warrant any criticism but I feel like theirs a pattern that nobody is noticing. Make me younger in another 20 years we have the “New” trilogy or whatever it’ll be called, will the Sequel Generation hate on it? Bash it, destroy it, and be glad that finally theirs another set of movies to hate on besides their beloved Sequels? Or do you think we’ll finally learn from the Original and the Prequel generations, that we cant let our anger for a movie get so far to ruin peoples lives and their careers?

After all, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and we all know where that leads.

#star wars #sw prequels #sw sequels #the phantom menace #attack of the clones #revenge of the sith #the force awakens #the last jedi #the rise of skywalker

[jack-katz]

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: John David Katz

Nickname: Jack

Birthday: December 18th

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Place of Birth: New York, NY, USA

Places Lived Since: Washington, DC; Chicago, IL, USA; New York, NY, USA; London, UK

Current Residence: Hackney Wick, Hackney, London, UK

Nationality: American

Parents: Benjamin Katz & Mary Katz (née Doyle)

Grandparents: Eliezer Katz & Ruth Katz (née Geller); John Doyle & Niamh Doyle (née Murphy)

Aunts & Uncles: David Katz, Ava Aoun (née Katz); John Doyle, Sean Doyle, Michael Doyle

Number of Siblings: One - Daniel Katz

Relationship With Family: Jack is on very good terms with his family and especially his parents who’ve always supported him throughout his career. They’ve rarely been the type of parents to scream or shout, but they convey their disappointment in ways that can break their children’s hearts. He used to be closer to his Dad’s family because of proximity, but since moving to London it’s been easier to go back and forth to Connemara to finally really get to know his Irish grandparents and uncles.

Happiest Memory: The bow he took at the end of his first school performance.

Childhood Trauma: None, aside from some sadly expected bullying whenever he moved to a new city that was usually targeted at his lankiness, love of the arts, and Jewish heritage.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 6′0″

Weight: 160 lbs

Build: Slim, usually bordering on just plain skinny but he has been known to build up some lean muscle either for a role or because he’s made a sudden sweeping decision to get into better shape.

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Usual Hair Style: It varies depending on what stage of growth it’s at. When trimmed short, it’s fairly neat and looks good. It grows fast, though, faster than he can usually keep up with so it starts to get curly and out of control usually every couple months and he’s yet to figure out how to really get it under control. Sometimes the stars align and it looks good on its own, but most times he just wakes up with a really bad hair day and decides it’s the day to go to the barber.

Eye Color: Green

Glasses? Contacts?: No need for them currently, though his eyesight has definitely gotten a bit worse over the last couple years

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): Very casual unless it’s something someone else picked out for him. A lot of graphic tee’s and old flannels and jeans that only fit properly with a belt and some pretty beat up sneakers. The belt never matches the shoes and he has two sweatshirts he tends to wear - dark navy and black so it can be hard to tell which one is which. He’s anything but a fashion icon, though at the very least he does his laundry on a decent schedule so his clothes are always clean - just not always very stylish.

Typical Style of Shoes: Sneakers about 90% of the time, hiking boots and flip-flops often when on vacation, and occasionally loafers for fancy events.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: No tattoos or piercings. Whenever he gets a great idea for a tattoo he always seems to have a role coming up and doesn’t like to take any bodily risks around that time.

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: When he gets really nervous or anxious he tends to drum his fingers on his leg or together to try to get out some of the nervous energy.

Athleticism: When it comes to genuine contact sports like rugby and American football, Jack isn’t that good. Running based sports, however, he’s not that bad at, though he only likes to play for fun. He enjoys soccer/football and actually doesn’t mind going for runs when he’s trying to get in shape. In high school he’d sometimes just show up to the soccer field during practice times and play around until the coach got mad at him for not being a real player and kicked him off the field. Theater was always his main focus in high school, anyway.

Health Problems/Illnesses: None, aside from potentially very high cholesterol in his future.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: Most of high school completed but no diploma.

Languages Spoken: English fluently and natively, Spanish almost fluently from middle school and high school classes, and some Hebrew and Gaelic he picked up from his parents. Also bits of conversational vocabulary from a handful of languages in places he’s visited like French, Italian, German, Czech, and Japanese. He’s very, very good at picking up languages through context and immersion, but he hasn’t taken real classes or spent long enough in each places to really learn the language beyond basic conversational things.

Level of Self-Esteem: It varies from day to day but can be sadly very low during slower times in his career.

Gifts/Talents: Acting is truly a talent and one that Jack possesses as much as he tries to insist it’s really not that hard; artistic ability like drawing and painting which is less polished than acting but still a natural gift; the ability to pick up on languages very quickly; singing and dancing talent that is perhaps not absolutely outstanding but naturally good and can be improved with lessons leading up to a show.

Mathematical?: Not really, as Jack’s passions have always lied more with humanities and creative outlets.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Emotions, or he’d probably have his high school degree right now.

Life Philosophy: Do what makes you happy.

Religious Stance: Jack would call himself a Catholic but also considers himself a bit agnostic but never would consider himself to any point have been an atheist. He also enjoys learning about Judaism from his father and father’s family, even if he never had a bar mitzvah or went to Hebrew school. He did receive the Catholic sacraments up through Confirmation but his mother was never terribly, terribly adamant about him being brought up Catholic and she always encouraged him and his brother to explore Judaism and other religions as well. His parents, though both dedicated to their own religions, were very liberal and open as both people and parents so they encouraged a very open attitude in their sons toward religion. If Jack ever had more time and energy on his hands to really dive deep into religion and his personal beliefs, he might, but it’s not something he feels particularly inclined to do at this point in his life.

Cautious or Daring?: Daring in his creative exploits and travels, but cautious in basic day to day activities and interactions.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: Criticisms about his work.

Optimist or Pessimist?: He’s optimistic for other people and pessimistic about himself.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Introverted, bordering on ambivert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: Single

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Past Relationships: 

Eloise Pelletier - his first girlfriend in middle school. The relationship lasted a month, but they were each other’s first kiss and have remained friends to this day. Eloise is now an accomplished stage actress and aspiring director.

Riley Huizar - his high school girlfriend. The two started dating around homecoming his sophomore year and stayed together for about two-and-a-half years, but Riley dumped him after a series of disappointments including: he missed their second anniversary for an audition, he missed a long-planned nice dinner date to attend a stand-up show, and she learned he wasn’t going to get his diploma. It was a messy ending that came when they were both drunk at a friend’s house and the two never spoke again afterward.

Lillie Piasta - dated for two out of the three seasons Jack was on SNL. She was one of the female writers for the show who was a few years older and Jack never quite realized that the reason she never seemed older was because she was pretty immature. She dated younger men fairly consistently and people tried to warn Jack that after a couple years of the whining and tantrums from the woman who, for all her humor, had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth and been spoiled her entire life. Even though she’d been working longer than Jack she expected him to pay for everything and wanted lavish gifts that he caved to at first but stopped after realizing it was a waste when she never used or wore anything. Lillie was fired from SNL shortly before Jack chose to leave to pursue a movie career, and she wanted to move with him to London but he wasn’t ready to move in. She dumped him at the airport before he left.

Natasha Laris - dated for one year after Jack officially moved to London. Jack was a guilty pleasure fan of love at first sight stories but never quite believed it could happen. He still doesn’t think love at first sight is real, but he believes sparks at first sight are real and stronger than he ever anticipated since he met Natasha. The two met  through a friend at a fundraising party Natasha had organized on behalf of a charity she worked for. It wasn’t ultra ritzy like a lot of other fundraising galas Jack had been to or heard about, but still elegant and enjoyable. Natasha just had a way of making everything elegant and enjoyable. Jack doesn’t remember asking her out because he believes the nerves caused him to just black out for the thirty seconds it took to ask and receive a positive response. They both fell pretty hard and fast but it was over the holidays when they both had some downtime and real time off. Then life picked up again. Jack had filming commitments, Natasha had a lot on her plate helping to run a decently sized charity with hardly enough staff. They saw each other when they could, but it only got more difficult over the months to find extended time alone together unless they were away on vacation - of which they only went on two brief ones as that was all they could manage. By the next Christmas, while struggling to figure out how they were going to spend the holidays after promises to meet each other’s families, they realized it just wasn’t feasible. It wasn’t just the holidays that weren’t feasible, but being together at such a busy and overworked time in their lives. Jack has only seen her once since they broke up, a couple years later - with a boyfriend who he was told by a friend worked a 9 to 5 office job, weekends off and the opportunity to work from home, and had a set amount of vacation time to use at his own discretion. It was the only time he ever envied an office job.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: Forgetfulness, not committed enough, and his schedule was too hectic.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: A hectic schedule.

Ever Cheated?: No, it’s something he doesn’t understand.

Been Cheated On: No.

Level of Sexual Experience: Experienced even if he might not seem it. He lost his virginity in high school to Riley and since then has always had a healthy, active sexual relationship with whatever girl he’s been with. Since breaking up with Natasha it’s the longest he’s ever gone without having a girlfriend, but between Riley and Lillie there was still enough time that he had a couple short flings and some one-night stands that were usually enjoyable even if not serious. He sees the benefits in fun in both long-term relationships and short flings. After Natasha he went through a lengthy dry spell of his own volition but for the last four years has mostly just had flings that last anywhere from a single night to a few weeks and are always fun. He does know in his head how many women he’s slept with but it’s not something he’d ever like to broadcast and only his closest friends who’ve known him for years know the extent of his sexual experience and exploits.

Story of First Kiss: Eloise and Jack both lied to their parents and said play practice lasted a half hour longer than it actually did so they could spend time together alone behind the school theater. For twenty-nine minutes all they did was hold hands and talk until Eloise heard her dad’s truck around the corner. Jack snuck in a quick kiss and went to sleep that night on cloud nine.

Story of Loss of Virginity: Riley’s parents were always far more trusting of Jack than he ever expected them to be and would constantly leave Riley and Jack alone together at the house while they were out at work or going out on dinner dates. Jack didn’t push Riley at all, though he was ready whenever she was. She let him know she was ready when she pulled out a whole list of things that needed to happen beforehand, as was her way with most things. She was going to see an OB-GYN that specialized in adolescent care, look into birth control and whether there were options that were safe for a sixteen year old (though she’d already done her own research and knew the pill was the best option), and regardless of whether she went on the pill or not, Jack needed to buy some condoms. Jack was so nervous about the condoms he made his friend Avi go in and buy them, mostly because he was always more confident than Jack. Despite all the strict rules and guidelines and plans in the months leading up to Jack and Riley actually having sex, the night itself was still kind of special to Jack and he quickly became even more comfortable with buying his own condoms after realizing what all the fuss was about.

A Social Person?: Not really.

Most Comfortable Around: His family and closest friends, of which there are about a handful between the USA and UK.

Oldest Friend: Toby Hartman, his best friend from NYC who lived next door to the Katz’s first apartment in the city. He’s currently a doctoral candidate at NYU who lives with Daniel Katz in the two-bedroom flat Jack owns in NYC.

How Does He Think Others Perceive Him?: Jack thinks others perceive him as having an equal number of failings as accomplishments and thus is just a mediocre human being who just happened to be in some largely broadcast shows and movies. He knows his family has high opinions but thinks the public doesn’t have a very high opinion, mostly because he only focuses on the negative reviews of his works. 

How Do Others Actually Perceive Him?: Jack Katz is an accomplished young man who maybe got lucky that he was int he right comedy club on the right night, but it wasn’t luck that he was funny enough to catch the right people’s attention. Everything since then hasn’t but just luck but has also been a testament to his talent and willingness to do whatever and move wherever for his work. Even if he’s not flashy with his money, he’s no doubt made quite a bit.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: Do work that makes him happy and that others find enjoyable, maybe even inspiring.

Dreams: Travel to every country in the world, become fluent in a new language, write a full script, direct a movie, perform in a Shakespeare play, finally learn to cook at least one decent dish, own a restaurant, and many others that come and go with the days that pass.

Greatest Fears: Forgetting a line during a live performance.

Most Ashamed Of: There were a couple jokes Jack tried out during his early days in comedy that crossed a line but thankfully never even made it to a real set. He just tried them out on his family, and their response was enough for him to hope no one ever learned of those jokes he thought up when he was younger and more inexperienced. There are also many minor mishaps that have occurred during rehearsals and conversations that, though not necessarily shameful, are very embarrassing and he tends to remember as being more extreme than they really were.

Secret Hobbies: It might not be that secret, but Jack really enjoys video games. He’s not as good as he wishes, but they’re fun.

Crimes Committed (Was he caught? Charged?): None, aside from some truancy.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy sleeper

Favorite Animal: Dogs

Favorite Foods: Anything greasy

Least Favorite Food: Iceberg lettuce

Favorite Book: “Audition” by Michael Shurtleff

Least Favorite Book: “The Catcher in the Rye”

Favorite Movie: Pulp Fiction

Least Favorite Movie: The Emoji Movie

Favorite Song: Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z & Alicia Keys

Favorite Sport: Soccer/football

Coffee or Tea?: Coffee

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Smooth

Type of Car He Drives: N/A, he’s never had a car and doesn’t have a license

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty

Favorite Color: Green

Cusser?: Yes

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Smokes when he’s drinking sometimes and others he’s with have cigarettes; drinks daily, though not to excess daily; occasionally uses drugs but usually just pot

Biggest Regret: Passing up on some more serious drama roles in the past

Pets: None

#headcanon #about

[danganronpa-21]

Hope you don't mind me asking. I'm just curious. What exactly are your problems with Kiyo (besides him being a killer), Kokichi (besides him being basically a killer), and V3 as a whole?

Honestly, sometimes I forget that my opinions are on public display like that on my Amino/Instagram. Especially the Amino ones, cause those are sort of out of date.

Anyway, thanks for asking this question!

I do want to preface this by saying a little something though: My takes on V3 should not be taken as 100% valid! Why, you may ask? Well... confession time, I haven’t played all V3. At the time it came out, I was harshly disinterested. Rather than experiencing it for myself, I chose to read up on it and learn what happened for myself. I’ve never been someone who’s particularly bothered by spoilers (much to the chagrin of literally everyone I’ve ever known), so I didn’t think anything of it at the time. And when I looked in to it, I didn’t like what I read and thought that it was good that I didn’t bother playing it for myself. I felt this way for a long time, rejecting all V3 things, until eventually I was lovingly bullied in to picking up the game myself. So while there are aspects of V3 I have experienced beyond my readings, it’s not done in full for me at all yet, so there could be several gaps in my knowledge or just my feelings. Please don’t take everything I say as my one and only interpretation, because it’s true that many of the feelings I express in my answer could be subject to change. I recognize that these takes aren’t valid because I haven’t experienced the game in full. It’s the same as when someone criticizes Danganronpa 3 without having seen it themselves: sure, you know how it’s written so you have some thoughts on it... but it’s still best to experience it yourself to formulate your own opinions. That’s what I’m intending to do, but I haven’t gotten around to it fully yet... because it’s an experience I’m hoping to share, if I play my cards right.

Really though, if I am to explain the offences I have at the current level of V3 I am on, I would say that each of these three aspects of V3 are explained… probably more simplistically than one would expect. I see a lot of people who have these in-depth reasons as to why they feel so strongly about a certain aspect of Danganronpa, and while I can be that person sometimes… here, not so much. 

Besides being a killer, honestly Korekiyo just makes me uncomfortable. Like even beyond the incest thing, there’s something about him that absolutely puts me off. I tried watching his Free Time Events to see if I could stir up some love for him, but I found myself making any excuse to stop every five minutes. I can’t say that I like his design or his mannerisms, and his voice actor communicates Korekiyo’s creepiness well… but I couldn’t find it in me to get past to what some people would refer to as the softer, sweeter aspects of Kiyo. Even the anthropologist element couldn’t save Kiyo for me, and I honestly thought it might. I’ve taken a few anthropology classes myself and I think the topic in itself is interesting enough. However, hearing Kiyo talk about it just either felt boring or off-putting, and I can’t say that I one hundred percent know exactly why that I ended up feeling that way. I suppose it’s fair to say that anthropology is a rather broad topic, and that what Kiyo spoke of in his FTEs wasn’t exactly my point of interest. But if you jump away from the anthropological aspect of Korekiyo, I’m with the majority in saying that the incest thing just made me flat out uncomfortable. 

At this point you could absolutely argue that it’s unfair of me to slander Korekiyo for being incesty if another character I love is Kanon Nakajima, a girl who has extreme and obsessive romantic feelings for her first cousin. However, I would justify myself in saying that the primary reason why Kanon works for me and Korekiyo doesn’t all boils down to other aspects of character. Do I think it’s creepy the way Kanon talks about and acts around Leon? Yes, of course. But the thing about Kanon is that she manages to utilize her other traits to become likeable in spite of it. She has all kinds of other quirks and traits that exist outside of being Leon’s creepy cousin who’s in love with him. Her whole presence as a character isn’t for the sake of being chilling, whereas I find much of Korekiyo’s character is to be weird and unnerving. It’s easier to get behind Kanon because I feel like she’s not just madly in love with Leon, but rather has other parts to her existence that are meant to make her realistic outside of it. Korekiyo, while he does have additional character traits, seems to be crafted with the intention of being creepy. 

I also know that at this point some people would want to argue that I’ve judged Korekiyo all wrong because his sister manipulated him into loving her and he’s actually an abuse victim, and I won’t dispute them. Do I agree with them? I can’t say, because the interpretation itself is just that: interpretation. Just because another interpreted it that way doesn’t mean that I will interpret something the same way, and so on and so forth. But even the line between “is Korekiyo an abuse victim or not” is something that puzzles me, because otherwise, the wrong person could boil it down to the question of Korekiyo stooping down to the level of his abusive sister by manipulating and murdering Tenko and Angie (and just to be clear, this question is not something that I personally believe). And even if maybe that seems like a far-fetched interpretation that someone could draw, the suggestion that an abuse victim will turn out like their abuser makes me undeniably frustrated. It would send a message that I don’t feel is appropriate in the slightest, and play in to the fear that many real life abuse victims have. 

All in all, the way Korekiyo was constructed just doesn’t have what I would call the “Koto appeal”. They simply had a different Danganronpa player in mind when they were designing him, and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking Korekiyo, he’s just very far from my cup of tea.

Something like Kokichi, I would say.

Kokichi already gets a hard time from me because honestly… I don’t find I like characters who are just out to make the player’s life harder. It’s not even a “i’m bad at video games” thing, it’s just that I genuinely find myself frustrated with characters like Byakuya and Nagito sometimes because I’m just trying to do my job, how dare you be trying to screw me up, you little shit!

So he’s already got beef with me right there, especially being the one that’s so much more challenging to fight against than the others. The dude’s high jacking entire trials and you just have to sit there with an “I guess this happening” expression as you try to work out the problem. I already play Danganronpa on gentle because something about the game just makes my inner potato brain skyrocket to like 500%, so Kokichi is kind of a pain in the ass for me. Which I get he’s supposed to be, but I don’t like it. 

His character relationships don’t help me, either. While I am fully aware that it’s all an act, the insensitivity is still harmful to the people around him. Yes, he does have this put on for the sake of fulfilling this plan of his and preventing the others from mourning him when he eventually does die. Unfortunately that plan in itself is a problem for me too though, after seeing a fan reconstruction of his plot to avoid the deaths of Gonta and Miu. Which even if it was a necessary sacrifice, makes Kokichi feel slightly more cruel to me -- although I know some may think that it shouldn’t. The behaviour still just sits badly with me, not to mention that even if you consider the inklings of Kokichi being a good guy… I don’t feel as if I can say with confidence really anything about him. Which again falls back on to a personal writing problem with me, because I am entirely an audience who likes to know things. That’s part of the reason why I write fankid fic: because there are things that I like to know that Kodaka will not confirm nor deny for me. So I took matters in to my own hands in hopes of satisfying both myself and others with where things will go. But if I don’t feel like I know Kokichi and my only evidences of him are of him being a jerk, it doesn’t lead me to like him very much.

Which is also what throws me for a loop with Danganronpa V3 as a whole, actually! All of the end revelations got me pretty badly in the sake that I have a vague notion of things that they showed me pregame, but otherwise there’s a lot that the game leaves unanswered. I mean, on the flipside, there’s absolutely evidence that everything we got to see was true… But until I know, I have trouble enjoying V3 totally. 

Plus, it also just contains my least favourite cast. I still like some of them, but there are more that I either don’t like or don’t care about. As you mentioned before, I’m not excited about Korekiyo or Kokichi. And maybe I just don’t know anything about them yet, but I’m not terribly interested in Kirumi, Ryoma, Tenko, or Rantaro. I have a little bit of love for characters like Himiko, Gonta, and Tsumugi. And to be fair, I do like Kaede, Kaito, Kiibo, Miu, Maki, and Shuichi a decent amount. But still, compare that to games like Danganronpa 1 where the only character I actively dislike is Hifumi... then it just comes out as my least favourite. Even with Super Danganronpa 2, I have a sort of dislike-like for characters like Nagito and Kazuichi. I don’t completely dislike them in the same way I do some of the characters in V3. 

Really, though, I know all of this is stuff that I personally think about V3 is subject to change. After awhile of straight up disliking it and refusing to play it like the stubborn child that I am, I do fully intend to commit myself to the game and maybe change some of my opinions along the way. Sure, it’s fine for me to have some of this opinions and ideas based off of what I do know, but ultimately I know it’s something I have to experience for myself for my take on it to be actually valid.

Hopefully if I can work out the things I need to try and work out, you guys might even be able to watch me experience it for the first time... but that all depends on how well my computer can handle running the appropriate programs simultaneously. Fingers crossed, though!

#danganronpa v3 #Let’s Chat with Koto