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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years

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I recently read Shades of blue after you rwcommended it and Oh My God was it worth it. That was beautiful and amazing and do you have any other recommendations?

✨MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED✨

AAAAAA I’m so glad you read it!!! Honestly I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me for recs for awhile because I have.........a few...

Miscellaneous ships here, not just Revalink but the first lot are

- Pinesong by @a-perplexing-puzzle D-Do I even need to explain myself more??? I talk about this fic every other day of the week..... it’s just great vibes....soft and fluffy and angsty just *chef’s kiss* two gay boys searching through their old memories to remember how gay they are

- Shades of Blue by @unapologetically-asexual OK I know original anon just said they read this but for you idiots that haven’t read it yet....uhhhh get on that. Nothing I could say would really advertise this fic better than this post

- somebody’s always looking (nothing’s quite as sweet) by @kouzaires One of my FAV Coffee shop AU’s for botw....so sof......so tender...........so warrmmmmm.............they characters are written so well.....just love it...a lot

- Broken Spirits by @legendoftoad It’s just AAAAAAAAAA??!!? My boys are hurting and the malice for half of it is frickin doing things to my boy and then of course you got your PTSD themes meddled in there and hnnnnnnnnnnhhhhhghgh my hurt/comfort itch is sufficiently scratched go read

- Linger On by ICanFlyHigher [idk if they have a tumblr] Ok I actually haven’t finished this fic yet but it’s been recommended time and time again so I’ve been reading this in my spare time I’m on like Chapter 12 or 13 I think but I can say with CERTAINTY that the writing is fantastic and tender moments are off the charts and my boys are so precious and also the Yiga are actually cool in this so that’s nice

- Learning Flight by homewardbound This is just *chefs kiss* *standing ovation* *throws confetti in the air* quality quality Revalink. Just a delicious chocolate cake of botw and Revalink. You got your mysterious Revali waking up 105 years later batter, and your angsty PTSD gay boys duo chocolate chips, and then you can chuck in some engaging sideplot elements as a few tall tiers, and then the cake is all whipped up with the wooden spoon of subtextual writing just mmmm delicious. and ALSO I betaed a thing that is gonna happen and let me tell you shit is gonna happen like VERY IMPORTANT SUPER COOL plot twists be happening so you better read it

- Conversations After The End Of The World by @bismuthllie Ok this one’s a oneshot but I always go back and read it because...idk it just strums my heart strings a lot...I’ve said Pinesong was my first big Revalink fic I’ce read, but this was like...my first, first piece of Revalink content I read ever so...yeah <3 ....and also the art for this comic is fantastic too even thought it gives me the emotions......hahaha ok Revali it’s time to stop being dead

- I See You Swimming In The Sky by @unavoidablekoishi OK OK I know my logic isn’t the best considering it’s the only Revali/Mipha fic I’ve read, but god dammit it’s the best Revpha fic I’ve ever read I still need to catch up cause I’m like 3 chapters behind but this fic CONVERTED me ok, miphvali went from a “huh yeah the art is nice I can kinda see it” to “THAT FISH IS SIMPING FOR THE BIRD 24/7 AND THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER″ This is some *claps* GOOD. SHIT. Ok? *slaps roof of fic* This bad boy can fit so much charming characterization and interaction (and also has made me scream both happily and not happily on several occasions)

- Guardian of The Wilds by @no-themes-just-memes in which I constantly miscall it “Guardian of the Wild” because I’m stupid This isn’t so much a ship fic but it’s so cool Link is a spirit, Urbosa and Zelda’s mom are a thing, Zelda is HERE and she is AMAZING like no spoilers but holy shit Zelda is here and slaying in more ways than one and riding Satori and hhnnnnhhhhhhhh it’s all about those ~plot twists~ and tone changes ya know? very very very nice...

- Firebird by @paellaplease Oh no, it’s Kip’s obligatory Firebird gush whoopsie poopsie who would have guessed surely not me. This is just my standard for Oc ship content now it’s so good I am gay for one fire girl Maiya is my spirit animal and I just wanna cup her in my hands softly even though I know she would probably burn me for it but it would totally be worth it. The writing is just superb and I am also gay for great imagery and action which this is chalk full of so go read it

Ok it’s actually 2am right now and I still need to finish a bunch of AP work so I’m just gonna speed run the rest of these recs

@echogekkos writes such cute and soft Miphlink fics that are on my top tier list like this one and oh crap this post made me realize Healing Touch updated crap there are so many things I need to read and catch up on anyways want more miphlink angst? BOOM read the inspiration for eternity by Merakkli and oh what’s that? You want deep lore that was custom made with lots of hot ocs in a fic that spans way beyond BOTW welp here’s Hyrule Bound a universe entirely created by @themisadventurescrew which is yet another fic series that I am behind on crap but oh shit @kittmoon has started a chapter fic called Jaded Seas recently so you should go read that but also all of their oneshots are great as well so you should follow them and did I mention that everyone I’ve tagged are people you should follow because yeah anyhow here’s a crackfic about Goron children that had me shaking out of either fear or confusion for a few days by @angsttronaut ok moving on @thatsnotzelda writes beautifully just take a look at this angsty Revalink thing and also bambambambam you’ve been ambushed by @hatenostorms @going-fancognito @ashrel @lizards-writing-blog so now go request some from them because I said so they’re great also uhhh @idiotic-canadian and @moonchildrenn [Pins_and_Patches on ao3] hate happiness but that’s ok because I get to be emotionally wrecked by their angst and whump hurray! wait fUCK I completely forgot to rec this earlier but my first Zelpha fic was this gorgeous Coffeeshop AU by @theseventhsage called Dreaming of Coffee and Love so go read that *flipping through entire history of ao3* let’s see let’s see... All of the Rito Chronicles by sturms_sun_shattered is great, and this Teba/Harth one is also a fav and oh CRAP my zelink content is just everything by @fatefulfaerie because it’s just *throws colorful streamers in the air* pretty and I love their writing welp I’m about to collapse lets just end it off with the z’s like @zzariyo and @zeawesomebirdie on ao3 they are some pretty radical french fries if i do say so myself and and ok ok read this other Zelpha coffee au which is also by @kouzaires and this Modern au also by @unavoidablekoishi ok that’s all I can remember right now bye

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

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Writing Tag Game

Thank you so much for the tag @noire-pandora! <3

Time to show people just how much of a baby I am in the fanfic world~! >:3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

A total of ten! Mainly because I lump drabbles together for easy access!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

....273502 words so far. :3 I like words. Words are good. Words are friends.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emerald Eyes Amidst Golden Vows (the very first rendition!) - 48 kudos

Emerald Eyes Amidst Golden Vows - Bound Brighter - 24 kudos

A Dragon’s Hope - 15 kudos

Dragon Drabbles - 13 kudos

Poetry of Wolves - 11 kudos

(Honestly, the progression of style change in each of these fics is terrifying to me. I look back on the last one, and I’m like, ‘Oh my god.’ X’D)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, on occasion, respond! Though I may use a lot of words while writing, when it comes to communication? I suck. XD But, I do get extremely, extremely excited whenever I see a comment in my inbox, and I do go back and re-read them when I’m feeling down about my writing! I usually respond when a person asks questions, but I try to read them as rhetoric since I don’t want to spoil too much! X3 So, to everyone who has left me comments on my fics: THANK YOU. I do really appreciate and adore them. :3

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Many of my short fics (those ranging from one to two chapters) all end relatively happy. I like angst, but I also enjoy making characters that are usually somber and stressed a little lighter. :3 If we want to get technical, then the first several chapters of my main fic all have rather angsty endings because the beginning of Fane’s journey is...heh. It’s not easy, and it’s not supposed to be.

Although, now that I look, a very old fic of mine called ‘A Dragon’s Guilt’ has a rather angsty ending. Basically, Solas’ frescoes in the rotunda send Fane into a momentary spiral, and it was me playing with Adamant possibilities before he was ‘set in stone’. Panic attacks and mixed memories galore! :D

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

*rifes through my fics* Uhhhh... All of them? :3 Okay, okay! No, if I had to choose it would have to be...one of the short stories in ‘Dragon Drabbles’. It’s a four part story (and my first hand at smut >:3) that’s titled ‘Existence is Not a Sin’. It starts off angsty, but by the end it’s so sweet, so sickeningly sweet that I’m like, “...How did I write this?” X’D ...I’m actually thinking of re-writing a lot of my previous fics just to see if I’ve improved with writing! :D

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not write crossovers, but I’m open to the idea! Sadly, my brain hyperfixates on one thing at time, so my imagination is limited. X’D

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven’t, and I’m very grateful that I haven’t. To be honest, when I started writing and posting, I expected to get hate (prepare for the worst, you know?) because I was doing something that wasn’t really the ‘norm’ for a lot of people. After all, people are entitled to their own interpretations and mine some times don’t link up with someone else’s. I understand that, and I respect that, but some people...don’t offer the same courtesy. All I’ll say is, if you don’t enjoy my content, don’t read it. We’re all adults, so shrug your shoulders, say, “Not for me”, and move on. Just know that if you do leave a hate comment, you will receive no reply, no fuel. So, don’t waste your time and don’t waste mine. Simple as that. I’m here to share and make people smile, not argue. :3

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have. Once, and I for the life of me can’t figure out how to do it again. X’D I’m very into soft intimacy; gestures and actions that speak a thousand words. Close positions (missionary, straddling, etc.) and a lot of eye contact with some healthy crying in the mix. *winks* I’m kind of inching towards a theme of ‘body worship’ when it comes to Fane and Solas because those two.. *sighs* They really need to shown that they are beautiful people; inside and out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I have not. Thank God. XD All I’ll say is this though, you steal my fic, my son and claim them as your own? *gets close to the screen* I will track you down and demand a talk. Don’t steal other’s hard work. Don’t. Writing is not easy, and it takes weeks, months, years for authors to pump out their inspiration, so don’t steal that labor just because you want to say you could. Same goes for drawings and pieces of art. Don’t.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven’t! English is my first language, but I understand some French! :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven’t, but the idea is intriguing to me sometimes! I’m just a tad unreliable due to how my mood ebbs and flows. I have very long dry spells. X’D

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan! >:D While I write solely M!Lavellan/Solas, I do support all genders and orientations for the ship! Because I didn’t get into the ship because of what I saw, it’s what it meant to me.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*side eyes my main fic* LISTEN. It’s coming! I swear. I’m just having intense writer’s block with my main fic, and I’m not sure why. That’s why I’ve been messing with prompts and drabbles. X’D There’s also my modernAU, too.. *sweats* TIIIIIME! WHERE ARE YOU?!

What are your writing strengths?

Describing emotions. I like emotions. Emotions are nice. :3

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Mainly because Fane...doesn’t speak much at the beginning of his journey. He’s very curt, short, so I have hard time incorporating other’s reactions to him. I’m getting better though, I think! :D

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m for it! Sometimes that little splash of altering dialect can draw someone in and establish a connection! Language connects us, and it’s never too late to try and learn so as to reach out to another! :D

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age, my beloved~

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

A short story of mine called ‘Blood in the Snow’. It was one of my very first fics and it was the first time I was like, ‘This Lavellan is my muse. I can do so much with him.’ It was just so fun to write a vulnerable moment for Fane, but still keep him locked up. ...It was also where I went, ‘Oh. This is Solavellan Hell. I wasn’t meant to go there, but I DID.’ X’D

Tagging: @oxygenforthewicked @little-lightning-lavellan @dreadfutures @the-dreadful-canine @rosella-writes @aymayzing @drag-on-age @varric-tethras-editor and anyone else that’d like to play! (no pressure, of course! <3)

#did i get a little harsh with a few of the questions? perhaps~ >:3 #art theft and hate comments are touchy subjects for me XD #art can be critiqued but it has to be productive or at least civilly worded #don't come at someone just to make them feel like shit #and shall i say; i've only been writing fanfic for a year #A YEAR #not even actually #*looks back* ...#my first fic was in december of last year so yeah. not even a year yet #*laughs nervously*#tagged #about me

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goddamnalientourists · 3 years

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Random bits of Lorien Legacies fandom history I remember:

- Everyone thinking Five was going to be a girl before The Fall of Five came out and people living their truth writing all those self inserts and oc girl fives who always ended up smooching Nine (who didn't love a good self insert?)

- all those anti Five memes after TFOF which were like "i am number four fans counting to ten 1 2 3 4 not you 6 7 8 9 10"

- that facebook game about mark james that may or may not have been a fever dream

- everyone calling setrakus ra mousetraps for some reason. I don't remember why.

- the fandom making Eight's sole character trait pizza because he referenced it one time. Also whitewashing him with Robert Sheehan edits.

- that time I was really into crack ships and someone took one look at a Nine/Marina fic I wrote bluescreened and did a whole essay on how ridiculous ships made them quit the fandom and everyone called them out on it

- Sam/Six ship being named Stormchaser

- When John/Six/Sam love triangle was going on and everyone went out of their way to hate on Sarah (and also that time everyone thought she was a traitor?? I forgot how that worked out my brain is telling me Setrakus shapeshifted into her but i haven't read it for ages so idk)

- the iconic fic I read once where the fic author didn't like Sarah so they included a scene where her head exploded and she was secretly a robot the whole time to get her out of the picture go bold or go home

- the time everyone started liking Sarah and making critiques of John's character and the series shitty writing #SarahHartDeservedBetter

- the time @officialpittacuslore rocked up, pointed at John and Nine and said "yes, I'll have some more of whatever those two have going on", dug a pit, labelled it 'Stohn' and everyone jumped in overnight (gay alien pit throwback uwu)

- astohnymous sending everyone in the fandom incorrect quotes on anon

- Six/Marina rising in popularity. Sirina supremacy. There is no heterosexual explanation for dreaming about seeing a girl on the beach that's soulmate energy right there.

- sandor/devektra/crayton/lexa fics and edits were a big thing for a while and devektra was always taylor swift

- the period before the revenge of seven was released where there was a countdown centred around celebration of fan content creation where everyone wrote fics and did art and edits for a certain theme!

- the time I got so annoyed by this random guy named Devdan just disappearing and never being mentioned again I made a whole detailed theory involving alternate timelines to make it so Devdan is Eight from a bad!future. I still think this is a cool theory and better than the actual explanation, bad and lazy writing.

- one time I ran a secret santa for the fandom and legend says I still haven't removed the page from my blog because I just forgot to for years. Literally. It's still on my blog. Wth?? Shameful 😔 my blog is terrible but what do you expect i dont get paid

- the shittacuslore and setracrapra RP blogs

- also I have a Malcolm roleplay sideblog I hardly ever used don't know if that counts as a significant moment of fandom history but I just find it funny how out of all characters I could have RPd I chose him. Could have picked a character with cool powers and telekinesis but I pointed at the local traumatised amnesia dad and was like "yes, I will be him", made 3 posts and never used it again.

- I've been an Adam stan since I first joined this fandom and the first thing I contributed to this fandom was a coloured pencil drawing of One wjth a surfboard, and it's been glorious watching Adam rise from 'character people are vaguely aware of but most haven't read the side-stories so they don't know about him to care enough' to 'fan favourite who deserves everything in the world and also look at him he's depressed and queer' (no I am not projecting ok maybe i am but can you blame me) anyway shoutout to Knave for all the Adam content over the years it feeds me

- The time people were coming up with shipnames for fun and I said Kevy for Kelly/Five and everyone rolled with it but it was actually a typo the whole time and doesn't even make sense when you look at it but it was too late to go back no i don't remember why we were discussing shipping kelly/five

- That solid week and a half everyone aggressively shipped Malcolm and Henri

- when legacies reborn came out and there was a resurgence of energy and theories around all the new characters

Anyway I joined the tumblr fandom ~2013 but I've been in this fandom since 2011, before The Rise of Nine was even released. Also what the actual bleeping heck it is 2021 and 2011 was TEN YEARS AGO?? A WHOLE DECADE????? Help

#lorien legacies #i felt like i had to make this for important historical record #also for fun :)#i've been in this fandom a decade hoo boi I'M OLD

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 3 years

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I finally played more RE8

This was copied from my DeviantArt journal when I finished it before I posted it.

Yes...after a week of a lot of crap going on. Personal stuff and whatever else. But also me focusing more on playing NethterRealm games. Mainly MK11 and MKX. I finally decided to play more RE8 and some spoilers ahead. I got distracted from making this right away. It's been many minutes and was on the internet for a bit. Just gonna talk more about my experience.

You know, with all the complaining from people who expected more vampire MILF's...which they shouldn't have. I mean, I am trying to play without looking online for stuff. And my game time has been 4 hours and 36 minutes...

Despite all that complaining...gonna say...it felt like I took forever in Castle Dimitrescu so I can't really complain. And the fact those ladies scared me despite all the fame they get. Really, I kind of want to get this done with and talk a bit more about the game itself.

So I finished Castle Dimitrescu. I killed Cassandra and Daniela(The other daughters), and later one, I got me a bigger briefcase to hold this sniper rifle. I used my sniping skills to do a lot of damage on Alcina's final form. Mainly ended it with a shotgun that I recall. I wanna joke about that I used my 360 no scoping skills...but I'm not a person who does 360 shit lol.

Will admit because I felt intense in Castle Dimitrescu. I hoped to see the Lycans again and luckily after that castle part, they came around again. Honestly, Castle Dimitrescu was a pretty solid area. One of my favorite sections of the game honestly...

After that, experienced the part Hotdiggedydemon made a animation about(Yes, I have seen it and I don't mainly like the guy) in the game, was in the village for way too long trying to get to the home with the red chimney, got me a new pistol that I decided to sell anyway. Which was the M1911. Even this special ammo I found for other weapons I don't have yet. And after I got back to the Duke, sold some stuff, even decided to add that Mr. Everywhere charm onto my pistol...that's gonna be amusing to have as I play the game. Just gonna have fun with that.

And I still haven't sold Alcina's remains...from what I know, there's a special pistol that you can get if you I think sell them...but I'm not sure...I'm not selling her crystalized remains in case.

Also forgot to mention during that village part as I looked around. Such as finding Luiza's necklace, and remembered she was that older lady...but also, the most amusing thing is that I got scared by a pig that hit me...a pig scared me like a pig scared Mac in Predator...and I still didn't kill the pig. Didn't even kill the other pig I saw. Mainly protected it from these new flying enemies.

Now I'm just gonna talk more about the game. While I haven't been more in depth of why I dislike this game. To be honest, my experience has been nice. I do feel like the journey of just playing the game is something I like. I get to experience myself. The gameplay is fine, and a lot of things work well.

It's just I'm disappointed to know how the story will end up. And why I have such this dislike towards it...and this all started because I hate the fact Jill isn't brought back. Time to sound negative, I hate how in these new main games. I hate how many of the characters that I grew up liking are just straight up ignored or forgotten. I mean, when RE7 was still new. I liked seeing Chris come back as a surprise...but I'm just sick he's the only old character that came back and why I'm disappointed that Ada wasn't even included in this. Because she was in the concept art. Also the fact he acts like a fucking asshole from what I know. Yes, I know the reason, but I'm not spoiling that.

I'm also upset of how Capcom or...the writer decided to approach this story and it again, makes me not want to have Resident Evil 9. Seriously, I like a lot of stuff from RE8. I love the introduction of the Lord's and other crap. But I fucking hate how these new games don't have a better connection to the older games. It's strangely a reason why I kind of disown them from canon.

There's other criticisms such as how they approached Ethan and Mia in this game's story. And I just feel like...the problem started with RE7...it's a weird experience for me. I get and do like what Capcom tried to do...but I dislike how they handled the story aspect mostly.

Sorry to sound negative if you really liked this game. There is no problem with that. It's just I really wanted to delve a bit more of why I have some reasons to dislike 7 and 8. And that I felt they both could of benefited from some changes. I'm saying that as someone who REALLY liked the first half of RE7 and even didn't mind the ship part...but REALLY DISLIKED of how they handled Eveline as a character and even the Bakers in a way. Mainly Eveline is the one that bothers me the most.

Also gonna admit and I'm taking this idea from someone. Maybe to get people less complaining, that you could have had the choice to go to Castle Dimitrescu first or not...but it's the writing and whatever the Hell. Looks like I have a choice between Donna's place and Moreau's. Which I liked. But Heisenberg's factory didn't show up on the map that I saw. And Castle Dimitrescu had a big X on it.

Anyway, I think that's all for now. I may of forgotten some shit. I have wondered of trying to be funny and negative...but I guess I decided to just be honest about what I felt without sounding mean or whatever.

Trying to remember what else. Love the fact I get to meet my favorite Lord possibly of this game which is Donna. Haven't seen much of her in game and didn't wanna spoil much for me of her part. I wanna experience that shit. It's just that Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters got the most attention for understandable reasons. Basically folks thirsting for them which is fine.

Man, listening to RE8's save room theme while making this gets the feeling right. Yet I'm just recalling how goofy and scared I was in Castle Dimitrescu. I appreciate this game making pretty looking and scary women basically making me feel terrified ha! I'm taking to long to remember what else. I should just post this.

Edit forgot to mention him. Hey bro @kaijuguy19 look what I did man. :) I kind of fulfilled a promise or so lol.

#GeekGem Rambles #resident evil #resident evil 8 #re8 spoilers

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willowistic22 · 3 years

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Van life!newsies headcanons

Hello, i have recently been obsessing and/or pining over living in a van/bus. So i will project my pining to my favorite pretty paper boys like what everyone does in the newsies fandom! Very healthy and smart idk lol so here’s my take on this au for each of my ships!

*i know some ppl might not agree with all these ships but these are just my personal favorites pls don’t come after me for something i like :)*

@jaelynn-is-slightly-confused thanks for deciding which headcanons i should write first :)

A pretty long list so you might have to sit down for this one

Javid

They converted an old american school bus

I actually have a headcanon that modern!jack comes from a rich family (maybe not the family his parents were born into but his parents worked pretty hard to be successful y’know) so that’s how they were able to buy an old school bus

So they were able to fit in a shower (not one of those foldable kinds) and a built in toilet. A pretty decent kitchen. A stove, oven, microwave, and all the other utilities necessary. Was able to fit both a washing machine and a dryer. Has a proper closet.

To fit davey’s needs, they put in a tiny book shelf. But it’s too tiny to fit in all of davey’s book (he’s got a shelf full) and was forced to give some of them away he cried a little. Jack did the same for his art supplies he cried a lot.

Jack is an illustrator and Davey is a writer. (Davey the hopeless romantic Jacobs mostly writes romance wow what a shocker) If Jack can find the time to paint on a canvas he will. It usually ends up getting sold which he doesn’t mind.

Jack painted every inch of the bus exterior wow we’re all so shocked no we aren’t I lied :) "Jack why...” “We need to be festive when we travel, Dave!” *face palms*

They have one cat which is still nameless in my head so ://

Newsbians

They live in a school bus

Kathrine’s a Pulitzer so you know how they can freely afford it (now that i think abt it i think old school busses sell for really cheap prices but idk)

The shower and closet are a must have for Kathrine. She takes over most of the closet space and takes the longest in the shower. Sarah is a foodie so she built herself a whole kitchen and Kathrine is not allowed to touch anything without her permission. Even fitting in a huge fridge. They also fit in a proper working desk and a couch. Also made some sort of balcony on top of their bus so they can stargaze on top of there

Kathrine is a reporter and Sarah is a physician in the telemedicine industry (she meets patients through video calls and such, not face to face)

Morning coffee is a tradition for them at this point. They cannot drive the bus without having one cup of coffee

They have two cats still nameless too ://

Ikeshot (lmao moving to my rarepairs so quickly. i mean i originally reserved the van life headcanon for them but i got too obsessed and now i’m writing this list hehe)

They settled with a sprinter van

it started just as an idea for their honeymoon to do a road trip around the us, but it ended up being longer than a hundred days of honeymoon and it turns into being their first proper room

Their shower is built in and it can only fit one person. The bed takes up the whole back space. Their closet is kinda small but they don’t mind bcs Ike mostly lives in Hotshot’s clothes anyways. The kitchen is limited but they have a pullout barbeque at the back of their van, under their bed. Hotshot is a master at barbequing.

Ike is a translator and interpreter. He also uses his hobby in crocheting to build a small business he makes cardigans :) (credit to @violetwolfraven for that little idea) Hotshot is an accountant. Very boring ik but i have a headcanon he’s good with numbers so that’s cool (well idk i feel like he’s good with math and economics)

Bringing the playstation has always been a priority, so they built in a tv. They like to chill in the bed and play together. Mario kart is a ruthless game

Occasional weird midnight dancing sessions is a tradition

they have a cat named Sparks and a dog named Lewis. It’s a dalmatian which made Hotshot tempted to name him Spot :)

*cut to a vicious argument between Spot and Hotshot which was also egged on by Ike and Race*

Jomike (ok look i love my rarepairs alright pls let me ship in peace)

They got a sprinter van

Their kitchen took up most the space bcs mike and jojo are practically professional chefs. When asked to throw down in the kitchen, they will thRO W D O W N

They even use a teal palette specifically for their kitchen. They have a one person shower but no built in toilet. a fair amount of plants as decoration. in the back of their van, they have a built in pull out dining table and two benches (built under their bed so they’d have to stop and open the back door to have a proper dinner)

Jojo is a reporter and mike is a computer programmer. Their job requires a proper desk to work on so they just installed a foldable table in between their seats up front.

their clothes are just stored in cabinets since they share anyways. it leaves a good amount of wall space to play a projector for netflix *cue the soft cuddling in bed*

breakfast in bed is the most on brand thing for them to do

they have a cat named Dixeleta. She’s an outdoor cat so they have fun doing outdoor activities together. Hiking, kayaking, etc.

Sprace

They live in an old sprinter van Spot got from an old family member

They have the type of bed that can turn into a living room (seats and table etc). They use a foldable shower bcs they want the space. Their kitchen can be extended out with a latch by their sliding door but that’s only when they need to use a stove and oven. Since they’re the type of people that just throws on the closest clothes they can grab they just use cabinets to store their clothes.

ok i’ve mentioned it before about sprace but i’ll mention it again. They have three cats named Racecat, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow :D all named by race if you’re wondering.

So Race is a social media manager and Spot is a physician in the telemedicine industry.

They’re very lazy to constantly look for a coin laundry service. They make a schedule to do the laundry once a week but sometimes they just forget.

Their first drive of the day will always include karaoke. They can’t tell whether their cats love or hate their singing voice most likely the latter but they’re in denial.

They cuddle each other in bed with their cats. While watching tv, to sleep, or just chilling together.

Redfinch

They got a mini bus

They have a built in shower, bathroom, and closet (not sure why since they don’t really care about their clothes all that much) They have a proper kitchen, fit a washing machine and dryer, plus a little seating area with a small table

They have two big doberman named Zara and Zoey and a cat named Marbles. Pretty outdoor pets so they frequently take them out for hikes and such

They have a ‘balcony’ on top of their mini bus to chill together. As in all five of them :)

Finch is a music producer and Albert is a photographer and videographer. Albert mostly works with tourist as their personal photographer, but he has land gigs with big companies/people. Finch works with a label that has given him to opportunity to work at home but sometime still need to stop by a studio to meet with artists or other producers.

Finch only needs space to store his laptop, notebooks, and guitar (but he ends up hanging it on the wall anyways). Albert takes up a whole cabinet for all of his equipment.

Not Finch waking up at an ungodly hour when a spark of inspiration comes to him, which ends up waking everyone in the bus. *cut to Albert furiously dragging him back to bed*

They installed a tv near their bed for playstation sessions or cuddling throughout a movie

Their driving karaoke is usually accompanied by their dogs which only tortures Marbles. She hides under the blanket to save her ears. smart cat hehe

Snipesmalls (Never wrote anything for them but I do love these girls :))

They converted a mini bus

Sniper takes up most of the closet space, but it doesn’t matter because they share clothes anyways. A built in toilet and shower. Their kitchen has a navy blue theme to it. It was Smalls’ idea. They have a washing machine and dryer and also a proper dining table.

Sniper is a nurse in the telehealth industry (basically just like telemedicine but deals with more than just clinical services) and Smalls is a medical transcriptionist.

They have an Australian Shepherd named Blue. It’s because of her blue eyes it’s so beautiful :O Blue likes to stick his head out while driving.

They have a built in tv for their playstation and movies but sometimes they bring out the projector to watch while chilling outside.

They have done the most traveling. Hopping from the US to Europe and Asia.

They may like to share clothes but Sniper really likes to be fashionable wherever she goes. “Ok so since we’re planning to go hiking tomorrow, which hat should I use?” “Sniper, we’re hiking up a mountain, not a vogue fashion runway” “And so what if I pretend we are? Use your imagination babe! Now which one?” *sighing*

It is a nightmare to convince Sniper to give away some of their clothes She cries every time her clothes are being given away but gets happy when they go shopping for new ones and it’s the same cycle every time this happens

They also like to go to music festivals and have picnics together

Blush

They live in a mini bus

They rarely buy clothes or give them away plus they share clothes so the closet is pretty small but hella messy because they’re lazy at folding their clothes away. A simple built in shower and also a foldable toilet. The kitchen is pretty equipped because Mush is a master chef. They have a little seating area with a table. Alternating as a working desk and dining table

Mush is a dietitian and Blink is a therapist, both in the telemedicine industry.

Neither is allowed to drive if they haven’t gotten their morning coffee

Mush is mostly then one doing the karaoke while Blink drives

they like to have picnics together

goes to random concerts. it doesn’t need to be a really big artist. they’d simply be happy if they get tickets to any sort of concert. They prefer to see local underground artists to discover more music and such but they sometimes save up to watch big artists too.

they’ve only been around the us and canada but are planning on going to other countries too

Belmerttons

they live in an old school bus

So buttons is a huge fashionista so there is a proper closet and drawers that are mostly used by himself. A built in bathroom and the door has a mirror per buttons request. they also fit a washing machien and dryer in the bus per buttons request too. Their bed is full of decorative pillows and a few stuffed animals per elmer’s request. Their kitchen is small but does the trick. also has a little seating area with a table

Buttons is a fashion stylist but also a designer. Elmer is a math tutor for all ages

they love going to different kind of events and festivals. one of the reasons why they wanted to live on the road in the first place

to get buttons to give away his old clothes, elmer has to assure him it’s for a good cause bcs buttons loves all his clothes. Buttons still get a little sad and pouty when those days come but picks himself up again when elmer offers a disney movie night on the projector with some snacks

oh yes, they bring lots of snacks on the road

They have a cat. still nameless soz

the cat is very fluffy and sheds a lot. which is kind of a problem especially on buttons clothes

“you’re lucky you have a cute face” -buttons while he’s cleaning the fur off his clothes

Spromeo

they live in a mini bus but kinda looks like a hippie van (idk how to describe it but it’s a mini bus with a hippie kind of style to it yknow)

they have two separate areas in the bus. one up front where the driver and passenger seat is. also coupled with a tiny sofa and a table. that’s where they do their work and dine. very comfy and cozy.

it’s seperated by a thin wooden wall. through the doorway is where the rest of their living quarters are. a bed, small kitchen but fully equipped, a shower, and foldable toilet. instead of a closet, they use a dresser since they don’t really have many clothes anyways

so specs is a history teacher and tutor for all ages. (he’s a history nerd hehe). Romeo is a photographer and cinematographer. mostly a tourist photographer (kinda like albert yknow)

specs likes reading history books, but he mostly does his reading on his tablet and laptop to save space. the same for romeo and comics btw

their bed is full of pillows

they have a cat named snowy. a lazy indoor cat. but she loves to cuddle with them in bed

they’ve also done some traveling to other countries. mostly neighboring countries but are dreaming of going to places in europe and asia.

they enjoy doing lots of board games when they’re not driving

romeo has a ukulele which he constantly uses to serenade to specs. sometimes to snowy but mostly specs

woah that was long akjghflkjasfbj; h. will i write a oneshot with this headcanon? maybe but who knows. just needed to put it out there that i’m pining on living on the road with the loml and some cats and go on an adventure together. anyways hope whoever reads this enjoy and sorry for writing a long headcanon list hehe

#n e wayssss #newsies #random writing #javid #newsbians #ikeshot #jomike #sprace #redfinch #snipesmalls #blush #belmerttons #spromeo #yes yes very good pining rai #look at that :)#amazing

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afoolforatook · 3 years

Text

On fandom and tragic romance tropes, from someone who's lived it.

Okay, this is kind of…. Idk a very specific vent and tbh one I feel kinda bad about because I genuinely don’t want to make people feel bad for liking reading/writing romantic angst or tragedy and it’s really less of an individual issue than an overall attitude in fandom.

Like, it’s absolutely okay to like not happy endings, and angst doesn’t have to just be for cathartic relief. Angst isn’t only acceptable if it’s to process trauma, you’re allowed to like it just because that’s your taste.

But at the same time…. I can’t help but have very personal feelings about how a lot of fandom spaces treat tragic romance tropes…

(this got really long but... it's something I've wanted to address for a long time)

I'm far from secretive with the fact that when I was 20, my girlfriend Emma (19) was killed in a car crash, along with her younger brother, mother, and aunt, and that a lot of my art and writing is purposefully about processing and accepting that grief. Fandom has been a very important part of how I’ve gotten through the last five years, which I’ll get into a bit more in a minute, but tbh it’s also been a lot harder navigating fandom and especially anything ship-related since Emma died, because of how people tend to romanticize a character tragically losing a partner.

And honestly, it’s not just fandom, it’s media in general. And mainstream media focus on tragic sob stories, shock factor, and BYG tropes is definitely a big part of the problem.

But as much as fandom pushes against mainstream overuse of such tropes, there is a good portion of fandom that falls into the same type of issue. And not just ‘fandom’ in the usual sense, but literary communities, poetry, etc…

The amount of times I see stories or prompts about characters tragically losing their partner, and that being the climax of the story, and then next to nothing about that character actually navigating their grief or being able to eventually start a new relationship or just be happy is just…. It makes me feel physically ill.

Like, people saying how tragic love stories are more interesting than happy endings. Or seeing a post about tragic pairing prompts and people saying things like ‘or they think it's unrequited but then A dies and B finds a letter confessing and they really loved each other but now it's too late’ and more people being like ‘YES YOU GET IT THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF’

Just… really, honestly. It's okay to like angst, even really tragic angst. I’m not trying to guilt anyone out of that.

I just….. Most of the time people just talk about it like ‘oh yeah I love some of that good tragic love story shit’ and the stories focus on the build-up and the shock/trauma of the death as it happens and then the excruciating reaction of the survivor and then maybe a time jump to show them happy again.

But very rarely do people take the time to actually handle the grief. People like the good cry of a character mourning their partner, but the vast majority of creators and fans rush through or skip over everything after the initial drama and aftermath. The ‘tragedy’ is the only part they focus on, and then the story ends and they move on.

And like. Shit. I liked that stuff too, I wrote some of it, years ago. And I’m not saying you can’t ever just leave it there, or that if you want to write tragic romance you always have to explore all the long-term emotional consequences.

But try to have it in mind, to consider what message countless grief narratives that end after the funeral, or maybe a few weeks or months later, teach people about real-life grief. This goes for any kind of grief narrative, but the one I see most, the one I used to ‘enjoy’ most myself, is romantic.

But, after having actually lived it? And knowing I'll have to live the rest of my life as the part of the story that usually isn’t told? It turns my stomach the way it’s often handled.

Like seeing people gush about how angsty a fic/idea is, and ‘OH MY GOD SO SAD CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW TRAGIC HOW DARE YOU. I LOVE SEEING/PUTTING THEM THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN’ gets a bit uncomfortable.

Not because there’s something inherently wrong with ever reacting like that, but because most often I can turn around and have the same people not know how to react when I tell them about Emma, not know how to handle the same grief they were just gushing over in fiction, when it’s real.

Grief is isolating enough on its own, but then it just doesn’t feel great when the worst thing to ever happen to you is a huge trope that people gush over, while very rarely fleshing out the actual reality of what it feels like to go through that or how to respond to someone actually dealing with grief, and eventually having to deal with your own grief.

Tbh it’s why I really just kinda have an aversion to the word ‘angst’ in general, and don’t really like to refer to my own writing as angst, even though I know plenty of people might think of it as such. So much of fandom's handling of ‘angst’ has come to feel like voyeuristic tourism of the grief I deal with every day, and will for the rest of my life.

Just, I know people are always going to like tragic angsty romance, and that’s fine, and honestly, it's not even an issue of individuals, but of how fandom in general treats it.

And again, I really don’t want to make anyone feel bad for liking it, and it has its purposes. And even when it’s not for catharsis, it's okay to just like sad stories just because.

I just… I wish more people would keep in mind that it’s not just a tearjerker story trope. People really go through this. And they then often end up feeling very isolated because people around them don't know how to react to their grief, because their grief makes things awkward and a mood killer.

Like, if you love this kind of angst (and not because you personally relate to it or find it cathartic, but just because, just for fun) but then feel awkward around people talking about their real-life grief, maybe spend some time with that, and think about the topic as a real-world trauma and not just a dramatic story trope. (this doesn’t just go for grief. Any kind of trauma you don’t personally deal with, if you love reading/writing it but avoid actually listening to people talking about their real-life experiences with it, think about why that is.)

I just hate seeing loss and initial dramatic grief responses being this shock factor/tearjerker trope, without ever really seriously addressing long-term grief. Especially when it doesn't even do a time jump or anything, and just ends on the surviving character being forever destroyed; when it focuses on the idea of how sad it is for your favorite character to have to spend the rest of their life alone.

And that’s not even folding in any kind of BYG/queer tragedy tropes in canon or fandom spaces.

And like… on a much more individual, less practical point, I just… there’s nothing wrong with angst but honestly (and especially for characters whose canon is in no way tragic) every time I see it I just want to scream WHY…. Why do that to them!? I’m not saying you have to stop, or that you’re not allowed to write trauma you don’t deal with personally. But I will never not cringe a bit at the ‘painful enjoyment’ of a character going through the traumatic loss of a partner. And it’s a sentiment I don’t really see people being okay with in regards to any other kind of trauma.

I don’t have actual numbers, but it sure feels like fandom treats stories about romantic grief very differently than most other traumas. Other trauma, even other kinds of grief, like a close friend or a sibling or parent, etc. tend to at least try to touch on a theme of recovery, or that the emotional turmoil being covered isn’t just a fun angsty trope to spend a little time in and then move on. And of course, this isn’t universal and plenty of people don’t handle these other traumas respectfully or as anything more than dramatic fuel, but this is the trend I’ve personally seen in over 10 years of tumblr fandom. And to that point, even when traumas aren’t respectfully handled I’ve at least seen people try to bring attention to that, with posts about how to respectfully handle disability or addiction or mental health or abuse. I can’t remember off the top of my head a single post like that about grief, let alone specifically romantic grief. It seems to be commonly accepted that while most kinds of trauma can be explored, but still handled respectfully, the death of a partner can just be done for the Drama. People tend to try to learn about abuse or addiction experiences before attempting big angsty stories addressing that. But doomed romance and a grief-stricken lover (it feels like, in my experience) are much more likely to happen on a whim.

Generally, it feels like other kinds of trauma, while still part of ‘angst’ also keeps a sense of awareness of how that narrative reflects real people’s experiences. It’s not just heavy because it’s big dramatic fictional angst, but because it’s grounded in real-life trauma that everyday people who come across it might relate to. Like... I just feel like a lot of fandom spaces treat ‘major character death’ and tragic romantic trope tags as just filters, like they’re needed because ‘not everyone likes angst, it’s just not their thing’ without really acknowledging that it’s a real trauma that everyday people deal with, where (again, often, but of course far from always, and certainly not in mainstream) other tws and tags like assault or substance abuse, people understand that people they interact with might really deal with those issues and they try to not just use them as dramatic fodder and to portray them respectfully.

But grief, especially romantic grief, seems different. The number of people who will come across a fic or edit or piece of art about a tragic love story, and will have had that personal experience of losing a partner, is much lower than people with real experiences with abuse, or addiction, or mental illness. That’s not a bad thing. I wish none of you ever have to know what that feels like.

But because of that, tragic romance ends up seeming like this distant thing. Like it’s only in dramatic tv shows or movies or literature, or lives solely in angsty fandom spaces as a way to get out a good cry. It seems grand and Tragic, off in its own world of dramatic emotional story tropes.

It’s solely pretty dark edits put to song lyrics, or striking art, or beautifully written prose that rips your heart out. It’s Tragic Romance.

And there’s nothing wrong with that inherently. But for many people, it seems like that is what it becomes: fiction. An angsty trope.

I genuinely hope that’s all it ever is for all of you. I wish I could ensure that that good angsty hurt will only ever be a trope you visit when you need a good cry.

But it’s not just fiction.

It's not just angst for sake of drama or fun or poetic storytelling. It’s not grand or romantic or beautifully tragic.

It’s unbearable. It’s physical pain.

That’s not exaggeration or metaphor. It sneaks up on me out of nowhere and it literally feels like someone is crushing my chest. I’ve nearly broken my hand punching a wall because I needed to make something hurt more than this thing in my chest that isn’t even actually there but it hurts so much.

Tbf I think a lot of my attitude towards this really stems more from fandom trends from when I was younger, and I think a lot more people actually try to flesh out grief more these days. But I just remember so much tragic romantic fic and fandom love from when I was a teenager that didn’t go deeper than ‘look how heartbreaking this is it’s so sad, I wanna make everybody read it and cry and it’s just fun and a story, oh my god I couldn't live with that’

no, of course I don't have a few specific old fics or posts from like superwholock days in mind, that I used to gush over too, and now just the idea of makes me feel actually sick

Idk… like I said. I don't at all want to make anyone feel bad for liking that type of angst, and I feel kind of bad for criticizing it. It just…

It hurts seeing basically your exact situation on angsty prompt lists with people gushing about how good it hurts. Especially when the same people would be (and have been) deer in headlights when they find out you’ve lived the same thing. (Again, this goes for any kind of trauma trope, but most others I’ve seen at least some kind of discussion about before)

Just please, try to be mindful of not just how you write stories about grief, but how you talk about death angst in general. (again, certainly not everyone, but more and more) People know to not just romanticize abuse trauma or addictions or mental illness, and to research, and ask for advice to try to be respectful.

And it’s much more common for someone in fandom spaces, in their teens or 20s or 30s to deal with those sorts of trauma than having experienced losing a partner.

But we exist. And while there is plenty of media out there showing tragic young romance, there is very little (in my experience, after nearly five years of desperately looking) real-world acknowledgment and support, or proof that you’ll be able to survive that kind of loss and still be happy, and even less so if they’re queer.

In a couple of months, it will have been five years since Emma’s death. From day one I have not been private about my loss, whenever possible.

And in five years of saying “When I was 20 my girlfriend died.” to new friends, classmates, potential dates, fandom spaces, therapists, grief support forums, etc… do you know how many other people have told me that they also lost a partner as a young adult, whether queer or straight, by accident or suicide or illness?

Zero.

No one. I’ve had people say how they lost a best friend or a sibling or a parent. And those losses, those kinds of grief are certainly not any less traumatic than the loss of a partner. But even in real life, they’re different. Losing a partner, especially at a very young age when it’s likely your main romantic experience, has different emotional effects, and can be harder to find people who directly relate.

Five years. Zero people dealing with the specific facets of grief as me.

The ONLY times I have ever heard about stories like mine in real life are either the rare article or essay or celebrity story, of which I can probably easily count on two hands.

All the other representation I’ve found is in mainstream fiction and fandom.

And of those stories, those fics, that art, the vast majority have had the partner die in the last half, probably closer to the 75% mark, of the story or arc.

If I’m lucky, that last 25% will focus on the immediate aftermath and grief (especially in fic, while a lot of media might give you a few scenes, and then move on to other character arcs).

If I’m really lucky they’ll show some kind of time jump, to say ‘see, they’re still haunted by their lost love but they’ve tried to move on or can pretend to be happy’.

And so much fandom reception is centered around ‘it’s soooooo SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MY POOR HEART IT HURTS SO GOOD. LOVE ME SOME ANGST’, or romanticizing the idea of being unable to live without them, and if they can, it’s often never really putting focus on all the pain it took to process their grief.

Again, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this individually, or that you shouldn’t gush and scream over fic or art or prompts that hook you because of angst. But it adds up really quickly, especially when, even when getting good genuine support from people, you still see no one else actually living with that feeling like you. The only place you find it is stories, and then you see people mostly excited over just how beautifully sad it is.

And that just feels… I can’t explain it honestly.

Just, think about how you react to or talk about fic or prompts or art about a character crying over their partner’s body, or attending their funeral, and think about whether you’d feel appropriate doing the same if instead, they were dealing with abuse, or addiction, or self-harm.

Again, that’s not to say you can’t ever gush or key smash or such, but is it all you do?

You don’t have to stop enjoying angst and tragic romance. But think about how I just said that.

Enjoy.

Do you only ever act like you ‘Enjoy’ it (and yes, this includes the ‘I’m such a masochist I just love to cry over them, it’s emotional release that doesn’t trigger me’ reaction), and romanticize it?

It’s fine to, sometimes. But do you also appreciate it, and try to understand the real-world weight of it? Do you know what you’d say to a friend if they told you they’d lost a partner?

That ‘love me some good angst’, Dramatic grief, being the main fandom attitude doesn’t just hurt me or others who have lost people close to them, partners or not.

A big part of fandom, and of just society, has no idea how to deal with grief, their own or others. It’s not a light conversation topic, it makes people feel awkward, or walk on eggshells around you, or tell you how they can’t possibly imagine having to go through that (btw, y'all don’t say this to people. About grief, or trauma, or disability or anything like that, just don’t. I’m begging you. And a rant about that kind of thing is for another day but... )

And then, when people inevitably face some form of major grief themselves, they feel ashamed for not handling it ‘right’.

It hurts, to try to find some acknowledgment of your grief, and only ever see stories that show just the first few weeks or months; the feeling of it never possibly being anything but constantly excruciating. Stories that end on ‘they were alone and sad and that is what their story, their love, will live on as; Tragic’. Or, that skip all the work and the doubt and the backsliding, and just show years down the road, when they’ve got a whole new life, and that grief, that love, is just a sad memory that they have ‘moved on’ from. Just a tiny trinket call back.

It feels impossible to survive, to ever be happy again, when you never see grief being treated as more than a tragic story point. And then, as you try your hardest to keep going, to process and heal, and connect to new people, while not forgetting the person you love, not letting them just become your tragic backstory, you see people gush over tragic love stories, over how romantic it is, over how characters loved each other so much they couldn’t live without them. (Thankfully a good bit of fandom seems to be pulling away from this, but it’s still common)

And, if that’s what it is to lose a partner, your soulmate… then… then how am I able to keep living? Even as painful as it is? If true love means not being able to live without the other person, does that mean I didn’t, I don’t, actually love them enough? Am I selfish for still actually wanting to live the rest of my life, even with this pain of the person I love being gone?

Would people read my, our, story and ‘enjoy’ it? Would they find this romantic? Would they scream over a prompt based on the worst event in my life, and have a good cry, and then move on, thinking how sad and beautifully tragically romantic that story would be? Would this person I love and miss more than anything, become just a Tragedy? Just an angsty sob story to gush about how wonderfully painful it was? Would it become about only my pain and heartbreak, and not about the cruelty of this other complete, unique, independent person who was robbed of their entire future?

Maybe that seems melodramatic or putting too much weight on tropes, or fandom. But remember.

Five years.

Zero real people saying ‘I’ve been there too’.

The only places I have seen my grief reflected (beyond a rare celebrity interview, or article) is in fiction, and mostly in fandom.

For over a decade I’ve seen people key smash and gush over angsty ships in fic and art, and I was one of them for a long time.

And then, when it became real life for me, all too often (not always, of course) people wouldn’t know how to handle my real grief. Even when I didn’t want to grieve, but wanted to remember all the reasons I love Emma. My real-life moments of ‘fluff’ that I cling to, become uncomfortable when they know the ‘angst’ to come.

And I don’t blame them. I’m not angry at them for not knowing what to say, for walking on eggshells. They’re not cruel for that, they’re not unsympathetic, it’s not that they just don’t try.

Because, if I’ve found so few real-world stories about this kind of grief, after looking so hard for so long, how can I expect them to have had much more luck?

If the only places I find stories about grief never focus on the reality of life after the funeral, and the process of not moving past, but learning to handle grief, then how can I expect broader fandom to know how to be comfortable around the ugly, boring, repetitive, not at all romantic parts of that grief?

Just, yes. Write, read, love your angst. But please just remember that ‘tragic love story’ happens to people, and while plenty of people might not want to read it because it’s just not their thing, or too depressing, there are those who see those dramatic prompt scenarios, and personally relate to them (I quite often say the events around Emma’s death read like a heavy-handed soap opera, or Queer Tragedy movie, and had had plenty of people agree, even before hearing all the details. And I have literally seen multiple prompts of ‘best friends secretly have feelings for each other, and then finally confess, only to get a short bit of happiness before one dies tragically’)

Write, read, love your angst, your tragic love stories, just please, be as respectful of grief (in any form, but this is mostly a shipping issue in my experience) as you would be (or should be) of other major trigger warnings. Gush and scream about the big dramatic ‘romantic’ tragedies, but don’t then ignore the raw, uncomfortable, vulnerable, cathartic explorations, or the real people dealing with real loss.

Because damn y’all, I’ve seen ‘I just love a good romantic tragedy trope, yes please rip my heart out’ said so many times, with the same tone as saying ‘That fake dating trope, that’s the good stuff’.

I’ve seen people gush over how much more interesting and beautifully cruel it is for young love to end tragically.

And I promise you. It’s not. It just fucking sucks. It’s not romantic or tragically beautiful or poignant. It’s devastating. And it goes on for so much longer than that last quarter of the story.

My grief is more than an angsty prompt. Our relationship, my love for her, is more than a dramatic sob story, more than just awkward sadness that kills the mood. Emma’s life, her memory, is more than my tragic backstory.

I want to be able to find my story in more than just fiction, I want to be able to get support from people who live with similar grief.

But I also want to see grief in fiction, in fandom, become more than a final character arc or Tragic love story; used for dramatic effect; grand and huge for a moment and then never fully processed, or mentioned again; just tragically romantic and heartbreaking and soooo good and angsty.

Grief is one of the only things we will all have to face throughout our lives.

I’m not just asking you to respect my grief or the grief of those around you. But your own future grief. I don’t want you to get there and feel like your grief is wrong, or means that you didn’t love someone ‘enough’ because it doesn’t manifest in a certain way.

Learning to accept grief; to be comfortable around raw, unpoetic, grief; to not hold up certain expressions of grief as Romantic or Poetic, but just honest, will eventually be personally useful for all of us, as much as I wish it wouldn’t.

I want my grief, everyone’s grief, to be seen, and understood, not just romanticized and dramatized.

My love story, Emma’s love story, isn’t beautifully tragic. It isn’t more interesting or poetic than a happy ending. The pain that I will carry with me for the rest of my life is not romantic.

But it is important.

#mine #my writing #tw #grief #death #car crash #fandom analysis #romantic tragedy trope

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passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

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This week on Great Albums: My first video about Depeche Mode--and it’s about their first album! I think it’s pretty good, but a lot of people HATE it. Are you intrigued? Take a listen, or read the transcript, and see where you fall!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be looking at the somewhat rough start of one of the most iconic bands in the history of electronic music: Depeche Mode, and their 1981 debut, Speak & Spell. While Depeche Mode are certainly a beloved band, many of their fans actively revile Speak & Spell. What’s wrong with it? Well, it has songs that sound like this.

Music: “Just Can’t Get Enough”

“Just Can’t Get Enough” isn’t exactly the kind of song Depeche Mode are associated with--though it did make an entry in the charts, and remains fairly well known today, largely thanks to its use in advertising. The band’s “classic run,” spanning roughly from the mid-80s to the mid-90s, saw them achieve substantial mainstream adulation, as a pop act peddling dark and gothic themes, and maintaining a substantial electronic element to their music, without ever becoming inaccessible to rock listeners. They were even “rock and roll” enough to consistently break America, which is no small feat for, essentially, a synth-pop band from England. That synth-pop heritage dominates the sonic palate of Speak & Spell, and it’s hard to imagine a die-hard rock fan vibing with upbeat, almost saccharine pop ditties like “What’s Your Name?”

Music: “What’s Your Name?”

Of course, “What’s Your Name?” has another big problem besides favouring bright, chirping synth riffs over the guitar-based chug of tracks like “Personal Jesus.” Its seemingly homoerotic lyrics might be said to constitute the first instance of Depeche Mode engaging in what we might call musical “queer-baiting.” Thumbing their noses at norms of sexuality and gender presentation have earned the band a substantial queer following throughout their career, but it’s not such a smart move if you’re trying to attract macho rock listeners, and get yourself into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Part of the reason why Depeche Mode were ultimately able to do those things, later in their career, is that they had a pretty handy scapegoat: Vince Clarke. Clarke was a founding member of the band, and as the chief songwriter for all but two tracks on Speak & Spell, he was unequivocally the creative force driving the album. Conveniently enough, Clarke not only departed from Depeche Mode immediately after this first album, but went on to serve as an integral member of two unequivocally poppy duos, Yazoo and Erasure. But as easy as it is to simply blame Vince Clarke’s interest in cheerful pop for the apparent failures of Speak & Spell, this hypothesis doesn’t hold up. Some Clarke-penned numbers, like “Puppets,” are at least as gloomy as anything from the mind of Martin L. Gore, who took over songwriting duties on every subsequent Depeche Mode LP.

Music: “Puppets”

“Puppets” is pretty far from a feel-good song. Those fairly bright synths remain, but here, they feel more like a tense crescendo of violins, as something goes poorly in a horror film, and a serrated synth stab answers them from below. Dave Gahan’s semi-whispered delivery of the vocals, which narrate the perspective of a manipulative and controlling partner, add even more to its sinister ambiance. Given only a minor aesthetic facelift, “Puppets” could fit just fine onto most other Depeche Mode albums, even if Clarke did write it. I actually think the softer, poppier touches this track DOES have serve it well, and make it feel a bit insidious--like a lover who seems loveable and charming at first, before revealing their abusive tendencies over time. Another track that really benefits from creating tension between pop fluff and things macabre is the striking “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead.”

Music: “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead”

“I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead” features an almost gratingly toylike synth riff, that reminds me a bit of those custom cell phone ringtones from the 00s. Its lyrics are also almost painfully chipper, at least at first, as is Gahan’s infantile delivery of them...but there seems to be some irony there. While that provocative title doesn’t actually appear, the song seems to be obliquely telling a story of someone dealing with a breakup, albeit cloaked in this eerily sunny music. International editions of *Speak & Spell* would remove this track in favour of the non-album A-side “Dreaming of Me,” presumably targeting it for its inflammatory title and short runtime of just over two minutes. “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead” is a powerful reminder that just because something has a shiny pop veneer doesn’t mean it’s disposable, or that it lacks in artistic complexity.

Still, if you’re in the market for something that feels more like “classic” Depeche Mode, Speak & Spell can deliver on that front as well. Look no further than Gore’s contributions to the album, such as “Tora! Tora! Tora!” With its frantic refrain, and troubling themes of nuclear holocaust, “Tora! Tora! Tora!” feels more like Depeche Mode’s classic run than just about anything else on Speak & Spell, prefiguring iconic tracks like “Leave In Silence” and “People Are People” quite well.

Music: “Tora! Tora! Tora!”

Speak & Spell’s cover is certainly strange and a bit opaque, showing some sort of bird in its nest from a very low angle. The background is almost entirely a lurid, artificial-looking pinkish red, with no other recognizable figures to ground this landscape in reality. Between the chaotic textures of the nest, and the surreal emptiness of the scene, it comes across as a sort of nightmare world, albeit one populated by only this fairly non-threatening creature...that we know of. If we look closely at that bird, we can start to see what looks like a transparent veil covering its neck and head. I like to interpret this image as a representation of the natural world, destroyed by human callousness: an animal suffocates under a sheet of plastic, while the sky behind it glows red with bombs “raining from the sky,” as in “Tora! Tora! Tora!”

Despite the title, you won’t hear any samples of the titular toy on Speak & Spell--though Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark would famously incorporate some on their album Dazzle Ships, a few years later. The title “Speak & Spell” would seem to suggest the album’s light, playful tone, and sense of pop novelty. A Speak & Spell is, of course, a fun and entertaining toy, which repeats the same handful of things over and over, as a pop song might be played *ad infinitum* on the radio. Perhaps the way the songs sneak a darker emotional undercurrent past their listeners is parallel to how the toy covertly educates children in basic spelling, while also being amusing to fool around with.

After Speak & Spell, it took several more years for Depeche Mode to really find their footing, and launch into that classic period of theirs where they released most of their best-loved material. Despite the absence of Vince Clarke, their sophomore LP, A Broken Frame, is stylistically rather similar to Speak & Spell, and pairs somber tracks like “The Sun and the Rainfall” and “My Secret Garden” with some very upbeat ones like “The Meaning of Love.” If the fact that Clarke could write “Puppets” didn’t sell you on my assertion that he isn’t the singular problem with Speak & Spell, the fact that Martin Gore wrote “The Meaning of Love” should serve as proof that the desire to make catchy pop tunes didn’t rest solely on any one person’s shoulders.

Music: “The Meaning of Love”

My favourite track from Speak & Spell is the opener, “New Life.” “New Life” was also released as a single and made substantial headway in the charts, though it doesn’t seem quite as well remembered as “Just Can’t Get Enough.” Like “I Sometimes Wish I Was Dead,” “New Life” is almost disgustingly catchy and hooky, but hides some surprisingly dark lyrics. But I’ll freely admit that I don’t particularly have some sophisticated, intellectually justified reason for liking this song the most, besides just thinking it’s a real toe-tapper. While I’ve gone to great lengths to dispel the idea that Speak & Spell is nothing but cheerful pop, I’d also like to point out that simply being cheerful pop isn’t exactly a musical sin. Whether you like it or not, it’s certainly far from easy to write a great pop song that stands the test of time, the way tracks like “New Life” and “Just Can’t Get Enough” have, and simply pointing out that they’re not as morose as later Depeche Mode songs isn’t a worthwhile criticism of them. While I enjoy a lot of more gothic music myself, I think a work of art that elicits the emotion of joy has as much of a shot at being a Great Album as one that wants to make us angry, sad, or afraid. On that note, I’ve reached the end of my video--as always, thanks for listening.

Music: “New Life”

#music #album review #album reviews #great albums #depeche mode

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gunnerpalace · 4 years

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hey there! so i used to be a huge fan of bleach, and loved ichiruki, and i was reminded of them today but i haven't been involved with the fandom since the series ended. however, i've heard of different variations of why the series ended/ships happened the way they did, and was wondering if you knew or could direct to me a post that explains that? i apologize if i'm bringing up bitter feelings, but i've always been curious if bleach's ending was a big FU from kubo or if he always intended rr/ih

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post that really goes over it structurally in that kind of way (from a shipping perspective). I’ll get back to what you actually asked me after some asides, because it’s not so simple to just analyze the ships in a vacuum.

I’ve had my own post about why the ending was a fuck you moment, thematically, because it failed to resolve any of the themes and momentum of the series in a way that would be appropriate (either internally or in the context of the supposed genre of shounen.)

I would also say that the ending was a fuck you moment in terms of lore, backstory, and mystery, because all of the historical and political dimensions (i.e., things involving the Soul King and Great Houses) were unceremoniously shuffled off to Can’t Fear Your Own World. Not that any of those things were ever brought up properly in the manga to begin with; the proper and natural time for that would’ve been at the conclusion of the Soul Society arc, when Ichigo and co. spent a week there, which we saw none of. So I would say that everything in CFYOW is basically retconned bullshit hung off prior convenient plot hooks, and that the same was true of TYBW and LSS/TLA/Xcution as well. There may have been some notes and forethought, but it’s about as “valid” as Kevin J. Anderson and Brian Herbert’s Dune works are compared to the original Frank Herbert ones; it’s second-hand, at best.

(This is setting aside that Bleach was clearly made up as it went along. For example: Noriaki literally admitted that he didn’t know who had killed Aizen in Soul Society until he realized that Aizen not being dead was the most shocking answer; the clear baiting and abandonment of Kisuke as the villain hinted at through various means such as his unclear and later retconned reasons for being exiled, and so on. Bleach was very much a J. J. Abrams-style mystery box work that was made as it went with, at best, rough notes, which is why its themes and focus change, for the worse. I also have a post about why it stopped being special, which is part of a running series I intend to write on how to rewrite it to fix and preserve that)

The best recent thing to compare it to is, really, HBO’s adaptation of Game of Thrones, wherein D. B. Weiss and David Benioff openly admitted to removing or deemphasizing story elements, and ignoring themes in adapting the work. The difference is that Bleach was not being adapted from anything; it degraded due to its own creator not understanding what he had created.

(To put it very simply, because this would be the point of Hyperchlorate Part II and would take a whole post to explain: the ending of the Soul Society arc did not properly establish and flesh out Soul Society as a place with a history, space, and purpose. Instead, the Arrancar and Hueco Mundo arcs decided to be a thematic inversion and deconstruction of the Karakura and Soul Society arcs. This again had an ending that did not establish or flesh anything out after Aizen’s defeat, with an even greater diffusion of focus onto ancillary characters. The Xcution arc tripled down on this by addressing something entirely new and retconned in, only to abandon it midway through in favor of going back to invoking Soul Society. And Thousand-Year Blood War took all of these problems to 11. tl;dr: Noriaki tried themes, people hated it, and so he just shoved in more and more dumb sword fights between people nobody cared about, half of whom hadn’t previously existed.)

So, let’s get back to your question. Let’s talk about ships. I’ve clicked a lot of keys and spilled a lot of ink on this subject over the years, but I no longer particularly feel like searching my own archives (really ought to go back through and organize them better) beyond this post and my own follow-up to it about the chronology of IR interactions, so I’m just going to repeat myself.

First, let’s say that Bleach was not ever a manga about ships.

I’m not disavowing that what Rukia and Ichigo had was special. That was called out multiple times through the focus of the art, the dialogue, and by the characters themselves. (Directly by, for example, Orihime’s outright statement to the effect in Soul Society, and her later jealousy regarding it. Indirectly by, say, Uryuu’s acknowledgement that him saving Rukia first would piss Ichigo off. In fact, the biggest indirect indicator doesn’t even involve Ichigo and Rukia; Shunsui asks Chad why he’s there and Chad says he wants to save Rukia, Shunsui calls bullshit that two months isn’t enough time to risk your life for that, and Chad agrees and says he’s there because Ichigo wants to do it. Shunsui moves on, but his argument is left hanging: why was two months enough for Ichigo? Because, as Orihime will later say out loud, Rukia is special.)

What I’m saying is that that was never the focus. It was explicitly constructed that way.

How do I know? The Grand Fisher fight. The Grand Fisher fight is emotionally charged, bringing up both Ichigo and Rukia’s greatest traumas, and is their one real moment of not understanding each other for a time. It was a triumphant moment that made them truly glad to know one another, and you can see it in their reactions afterward (Rukia thanking Ichigo for not dying, Ichigo asking Rukia if he can keep being a Shinigami). There was a lot to unpack there, and you can see it in the way they look at each other.

What happened immediately after the Grand Fisher fight? Noriaki skipped a whole month. We go from June 18th of 2001 to July 17th of 2001. He deliberately skipped all of the emotional impact of that event, and Rukia being around for Ichigo’s 16th birthday. Just never happened. We never hear about it. Wasn’t his focus as a writer.

Now, I’m convinced that was because he was scared of what he had on his hands. He wasn’t willing to commit to either a couple’s battle shoujo or a shounen with male and female seemingly-heterosexual co-equal deuteragonists who clearly had a strong emotional bond. More specifically, he wasn’t willing to make Rukia a centerpiece of the manga despite having designed her first, having made her the moral and philosophical core of his manga, and having based Ichigo entirely around completing and complementing her. But hey, that’s just my opinion, right? Except it kept happening.

From the Grand Fisher fight onward, the name of the game in the manga, structurally, became keeping Ichigo and Rukia apart.

The moment she was taken back to Soul Society, her prominence dropped. We got emotionally charged scenes of them regardless. Right at the conclusion, after yet another emotionally heavy set of Ichigo and Rukia interactions, we again skip almost a month, from the end of the first week in August of 2001 to September 1, 2001. (Due to some completely unnecessary timey-wimey bullshit with the Precipice World.)

In the Arrancar and Hueco Mundo arcs, they have roughly a day together over the course of three months. What happens after every meeting? They’re shuffled apart and split up, and we cut away. This time, for over a year!

Ichigo and Rukia again have a very emotionally charged meeting in the Xcution arc. And what happens at the end of that arc? We skip ahead another month to TYBW. (Xcution ended sometime in May of 2003, TYBW starts June 11, 2003.)

And in TYBW, Rukia and Ichigo barely meet up at all. Indeed, the focus is scarcely upon them.

In CFYOW, neither of them even appear, let alone have any relevance to the plot.

The implication, in my opinion, is pretty obvious: Noriaki was deathly afraid of dealing with the outcomes of their interactions, and that ultimately became him being deathly afraid of allowing them to interact at all to begin with. Why? Well, as I said in one of the last linked posts:

As an author, sometimes you will find your characters will do things you didn’t anticipate or plan for, and you’ve got two choices: you can go with the flow and do what’s natural and deal, or you can fight it and try and impose your vision anyway.

He refused to let his art take the direction it needed to go in.

Now, some people might say he got bored of them, or of having them together. I say that’s bullshit. And the reason I say is down to three things:

He didn’t ignore them, he did his best to keep them apart. I outlined this above.

He did not emphasize anything or anyone else instead. His focus was all over the place. While, admittedly, Ichigo’s prominence also declined, so did everyone else’s.

It would have served him well to focus on their interactions to expand his universe and explore its lore. The things that were detailed in the databooks and CFYOW could’ve been presented naturally and easily if they were together. But that came with a cost of shifting the focus. A cost he refused to pay.

Let’s talk more about (2) and (3) now.

Regarding (2), Chad and Orihime are inextricably linked in Bleach, because they essentially have the same relationship to Ichigo. “But Orihime loves Ichigo, and Chad is his no-homo bro!” someone proclaims. So what? They’re presented as equal and parallel at every step.

They both gain their powers at approximately the same time.

We are told they gained their powers due to the Hogyouku (in Rukia at the time) interpreting their wishes (and no one else’s, such as Tatsuki, Keigo, or Mizuiro), meaning they probably had the same strength of desire.

They both go to Soul Society “for Ichigo.”

They both utterly fail against Yammy and Ulquiorra.

They both spend most of the Hueco Mundo arc doing nothing.

They are both featured prominently in the Xcution arc, and both fail to see through Tsukishima’s powers despite their love for Ichigo. (Meanwhile, Byakuya coolly tries to murder someone who he thinks is his mentor, in Ichigo’s name.)

They both get sidelined in Hueco Mundo with Kisuke in TYBW, doing little to nothing.

They both are utterly ineffectual in the final fight in TYBW.

They are often portrayed together, they are often as effective as one another, and they are equally as developed in their relationship to Ichigo going forward, which is to say: not at all. The loss of focus on IR did not come with an attendant rise of focus on IH, any more than it did with the sudden rise of IchiChad. Nothing was built in IR’s place. There was no emotional or human content which filled its gap.

This is where the IH ending coming “out of nowhere” stems from: it indeed came out of nowhere, because Ichigo was never shown to have any interest in Orihime in all this time, nor an especially close relationship with her. He never hangs out with Chad or shows a bond with him either. He never hangs out with anyone, in fact. (Indeed, “friends” in Bleach do not do any of the things that friends actually do in real life. Nor do parents. You might say that interpersonal relationships and communication largely don’t exist in Bleach. But that’s its whole own topic.)

I would honestly say that more time and emphasis was given on Ichigo’s pseudo-surrogate mother relationship with Ikumi than was spent on him interacting with Orihime. (I would say Noriaki has serious hangups about relationships of any kind, be they romantic, familial, or friendly, and also has some severe hangups regarding mothers and fathers, but that is also its whole own topic.)

Regarding (3), Noriaki apparently wanted this big, Game of Thrones-style world with a long history and political machinations and so on. This is the whole point of TYBW and CFYOW. Trouble is, early Bleach was successful because of its small-scale intimacy. So how do you go from one to the other? You have to lay the foundations at every step. And Noriaki steadfastly refused to do so at every step. Having Ichigo and Rukia interact, and focusing on Rukia while Ichigo was sidelined without powers, would’ve permitted that organically. Indeed, if RR was the endgame, it would have given time to establish that, were it his desire. (Because Rukia never showed any interest in Renji, and frankly Renji always seemed way more preoccupied with Byakuya.) It didn’t serve his goals, but he did it anyway.

It’s much simpler to say he lost focus, and that he started to hate the manga as a whole. Why else would you have Mayuri fighting a giant hand when that achieved nothing, and Kenpachi fighting Thor when that achieved nothing? It became empty. Hollow, you might say.

But that takes us back to the question you posed: where did the ships come from? Nowhere. IH, RR, and fucking TatsuKeigo weren’t established anywhere. They just appeared. Why?

Well, why did every single character wind up doing the exact opposite of their intended and stated goals in the end?

Why did Soul Society revert to its previous attitude and rebuild the Sokyouku?

Why did nothing get resolved?

Why did nothing change?

Why was it all revealed to have been completely and utterly pointless?

In my view, it’s because that ending was a giant fuck you to the readership and Shueisha. There is no other way to interpret an author pulling a 180° and completely nullifying their characters’ arcs, and their work’s themes. Aizen’s little speech at the end is the cherry on top. I read it as Noriaki saying that he’s showing “courage” in telling us all to fuck off.

As to why? That’s an open question. His relationship with Shueisha was contentious, so maybe he was mad at them. (They gave him a deadline once he was dragging his feet, and reclassified Bleach as a joke manga.) His readership was on the decline after the Soul Society arc ended, so maybe he was mad at the audience. I don’t know. I also don’t really care. What I am convinced of is he decided to blow up his franchise and to not leave a single stone unturned when he did so.

That’s where that “ending” comes from, which is why despite it featuring IH and RR, both are thoroughly unsatisfying and without setup: it was the only way to piss absolutely everyone off, including people who wanted that outcome.

In a way, it was his greatest success since the early days of the manga.

Anyway, this was messy, but it’s not a simple topic to address. The tl;dr is that Bleach was a trainwreck from the very beginning that only succeeded on the merits of its characters, and that Noriaki deliberately avoided the promise it had to be something unique and grand. The ships are just a part of that, and cannot be understood in isolation from it.

#Asks #Bleach

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marveltrumpshate · 3 years

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The MTH mod team is proud to bring back Marvel Trumps Hate for a fourth run! Inspired by Stony Trumps Hate and Fandom Trumps Hate, our purpose is to encourage fandom unity while raising money for nonprofit organizations that work to protect civil rights, marginalized and oppressed communities, and the environment.

Our fandom-wide fundraiser auction raised $38,250 USD for charity with the help of 273 generous creators and hundreds of bidders last year. This year, we’re looking forward to raising just as much awareness and money for some Marvel-ous causes!

Creator sign-ups will open in one month’s time, on Sunday, September 12, 12 AM ET (Eastern Time). Creators may offer different types of works such as fics, art, edits, videos, beta services, crafts, and more for any character, ship, or universe in the Marvel multiverse.

Sign-ups will run until Saturday, September 25, 11:59 PM ET, which should give everyone plenty of time to think about what they’d like to offer, spread the word, and sign up as a creator!

There will be a preview week, from October 10 to October 16, during which potential bidders can peruse all the auctions and start building their list of fanworks to bid on. We will also use this time to make corrections to auction pages before bidding begins.

The 2021 MTH Auction Week will then run from October 17 to October 23. All auction times are in ET. If you’re in a different time zone, you can convert times here.

Please follow us for updates and visit our About, How To Participate, Schedule, and FAQ pages for more information. If you have any questions after doing so, you can contact us here!

We believe our fandom is a caring community determined to help those in need just like the superheroes we love so much, so let’s unite, organize, and pay it forward. As the Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes theme song goes, “assembled, we are strong”!

#marvel trumps hate #mth 2021 #announcement

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bangtanxm · 4 years

Text

Bookclub; February Highlight

February is the month of love and as we all know, love doesn’t happen over night. Whether it is angst, sexual tension or pining we all love to be on the edge of our seat hoping and begging that they would finally get together. So, naturally this month theme was “Slow Burn” and these are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

TIDES WILL BRING ME BACK TO YOU by @sujigguk [aka @ftyoonmin]

— Summary; Fate is a funny thing. Humble fisherman, Yoongi, learns this when one evening, it's not a fish that sits at the end of his hook, but a bottle, containing a note claiming that a creature of the sea by the name of Jeongguk has been left stranded on land and is soon to draw his last breath.

bookclub; review

“This story immediately pulls you in with the amazing story-telling. Lou has a way of writing so beautifully detailed that it makes you imagine the amazing scenes in your head vividly. On top of that, it is a really heart wrenching love story, mixed with a wonderful fantasy theme of siren Jungkook and his fishermen Yoongi.” [@softjeon]

“Wow. So, Tides Will Bring Me Back to You has been on my to read list for quite a while. I regret my choices in not reading it until now. This fic was an absolute work of art. The singular amazing thing I want to point out is the attention to detail. So, we as readers expect fics to be good, especially AUs. Like we want some world building and detail so that we can visualize the setting and location and what is going on with the characters that are being put into this new world. This fic was able to do that but MORE. The attention to the setting detail was unbelievable. There was so much in terms of vivid descriptors and explanations that painted this super vivid and pretty image in my mind. I’m scared of the ocean to be honest, so I have never gone out on a ship beyond like, a lake. And have only ever seen the ocean from the safe confines of the beach. But because of the detail in this fic, I was able to visualize it so perfectly and vividly, it felt like I was really there.I really enjoyed Jungkook as well. Obviously he’s a gorgeous young man in real life, right? Which is why I liked this fic because it wasn’t this stunning perfect man from the waist up, you know? He had the scaly back, the webbed fingers, the sharp and kinda creepy teeth, etc. I think that this made it more “realistic”, as realistic as a mermaid fic can get of course, but like… I don’t know, it felt more real and added a layer of uniqueness to the fic that a lot of supernatural AUs tend to lack in fanfic terms. Also, the ending. Some might struggle with this because it was so ambiguous (no spoilers of course) but I really liked it. Though I’m sure the author had like a set “this is how it is” ending or explainer, I like that it’s this sort of grey area for readers to think on and figure out.” [anon]

“Omg, I really loved this fic. It's a bit longer than I normally read because work sort of keeps me away from reading more than writing haha but I really loved how Yoongi had this NEED to help a stranger he had no idea existed or not. Then to watch their love blossom that way and Yoongi protect Jungkook. It's also cute that Jungkook calls Yoongi 'My Yoongi' and Yoongi first thought it was a mispronunciation of his name. I do love mercreatures too, so that also drew me to this one. I loved the details and the tidbits of background we get from Yoongi and his love for the sea/sea creatures. Sorry, this is just all over the place.” [anon]

BABY BLUE by @chimknj

— Summary; Jimin is blue. He’s loyal to his customers and confident in everything he does. Namjoon is white. He’s pristine and maintains a perfect balance in life. When the two come together, they create baby blue, a color of freshness and something new. It’s new for both of them, but not all new things are bad.

bookclub; review

“What an amazing story! Even though Minjoon is basically already "together", although Namjoon is just paying Jimin to be there, it is just heartbreaking to read about how Jimin tries to get to know the other more, trying to get him out of his shell and falling in love while he is doing it. All while Namjoon tries to stick to his rules making it so much harder for Jimin, himself and the reader....cause damn!!! I could have screamed the characters sometimes and it literally hurt my hurt so much each time Namjoon pushed Jimin away ;; I can't.... I wanna cry just thinking about it again.” [@softjeon]

“...beautifully written plot, where you just want to punch Namjoon in the face until he finally reveals his true feelings.” [anon]

“I didn’t mean to consume over 70,000 words in one sitting. I honestly didn’t. Over a few days, over a week. Space it. But I knew I was lost at the end of chapter one, the same way Namjoon knew he was lost the second Jimin’s cute hands started unbuttoning his shirt after date night.Honestly. This fic had everything. I laughed a lot, I cried way more than I’d like to admit to, I had the urge to take a cold shower more than once, I wanted to take Joon by his perfectly ironed lapels and shake the ever-loving crap out of him. Honestly though, it felt like a full-length novel. I mean it was, by length, but also by content. The world that was created was beautifully devised and detailed, and everything from the various business names to the design of the apartments was so easy to visualize due to the richness of the descriptors. Personally, I appreciate that. It adds to the ‘movie playing in my head’ way that I like to read.The smut was unbelievably well written. It was sexy without feeling too unrealistically “porn film fantasy” if that makes sense. Like the progression felt natural and easy rather than being rushed or faked like some fics tend to do. It was clear the author did the required research in terms of D/s and wrote what felt very accurately.I loved the involvement of the other members, I think they all played really great, vital roles as side characters. And honestly, they were so rich in their own right that I would love spin offs about their own arrangements with their respective partners!The ending was absolutely sweet and perfect too. I spent the whole fic praying it’d end in a way that was satisfactory to my wrenching heart and I feel like it gave me every single thing I wanted and more.” [anon]

EVERYGREEN by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; Yoongi felt that something was wrong the moment he had stepped foot into the garden. He hated that this sense of foreboding could mean anything and he had seen enough to have a very vivid imagination of what could wait in the bushes for him. His grip was tight and ruthless but when he felt he weight of something heavier he startled. In front of him on the grass, bloody and shaking was a deer hybrid; a boy, obviously younger than himself and apparently in a lot of pain.

bookclub; review

“Whuff. There's hybrid fics. And then there's THIS hybrid fic. I know that hybrid fics are one of those things you either love em or hate em, I honestly couldn't find a thing to dislike about this fic even if I tried. Firstly Yoongi as the grumpy on the outside (but squishy on the inside) raccoon is perfection. Imagining his markings and those growls and grumbles -- it's so endearing. And then there's JK who, a deer? Oh come on, I'm soft. Imagining him with the broken little antler and those soft, cute markings V_V It's tooth rotting, I swear. But for all the fluff and sweetness, there's this layer of angst and hesitation that makes this feel like such a deep, melancholy slowburn. The will they - won't they, the pull of each and push back, the "I can't" and "I want" -- GUH. Really, it's just so sweet and perfect.” [@kimlinebiased]

“I read Evergreen as it came out. It seemed like such a cute take on a trope that’s pretty common in our fandom, but one I’m less comfortable with, so I was really eager to see these authors’ take on it, since I knew I love their work already. The story opened up with action that sucked you in almost immediately, but it really balanced that with some slower, almost peaceful moments. I think that’s a really big draw of this story, really these authors overall, but this one in particular. They have a handle on the ebb and flow of the story. What I mean is, things happen and it’s exciting and oh god cliffhanger, but then things slow down and give the reader a second to breathe (but not too long, because then it would get boring). The balance between breathing space and action can be really hard to balance and I think these two do it really well. For this particular story, I think my favorite character is actually Namjoon. Sure, he doesn’t have a huge part, but I think he’s super well written and quite in character to the canonical person. (All of them are in their own way, but he sticks out to me). He’s so supportive but not afraid to tell Yoongi the truth even if it’ll sting. Further, he isn’t perfect. He lets his heart get in the way of his head sometimes (like with Jimin) and it makes him really endearing and realistic in a refreshing way. I think that he’s one of those absolutely indispensable characters in this particular world. Like sometimes, it’s easy to switch members, have x play y’s part, y play b’s part, etcetera. But I think that Namjoon’s part was written so perfectly, it fits him like a glove and made it really enjoyable when he was on the page. The plot has some things that the reader can “call” so to speak – like you might read and know there’s gonna be trouble for JK, he’s gonna get tangled up in the mess in some way, but even thinking you know, it’s still done in a way that it doesn’t take away from the enjoyment and “oh no” factor when the big climax does finally get rolling. Just like you know pretty sure, it’ll end happy, I still found myself worried about ‘well what if it doesn’t’. And I think that’s a testament to the authors, really. They are able to take these fanfic tropes and make them feel fresh and new, so even if you feel like you might know what will happen, the way that they weave the story together makes those emotions still hit in a really palpable way.I’d also like to discuss the overall setting of the story. There’s only a few locations that the readers really get a feel for, but particularly the cabin. I think that the descriptions of the cabin and forest and general development of the backstory and setting was really well done. Things like hybrid or other non-human AU’s can be really tricky to keep interesting but still give the right amount of backstory and description so that they aren’t confusing. We as readers need to know the rules, but not have a history textbook, and I think this fic really accomplished that as well.Overall, I just really enjoyed the feeling and emotions that this fic caused. I think that it was able to really convey some important messages while still being woven into a sweet, unique love story. [anon]

THE JUSTITIA PUGNATORES by ShoshinLaurels [AO3]

— Summary; When stable boy Park Jimin's best friend, crowned Prince Kim Taehyung finds himself under threat in his own palace, his guards dropping like flies, the only option left is to call on the Justitia Pugnatores, the 'Justice Fighters.'Three men boasting incredible skill and legendary pasts come barrelling through the heart of the palace, shaking everything in their wake.As the dilemma of the princes impending chances of murder only escalates, Jimin finds himself wrapped up in a mess of secrets, heartache and suspiscion.If only Min Yoongi didn't complicate things.

bookclub; review

“It's been a while since I read this, but I would happily read it in one sitting all over again. I'm a sucker for royal settings and I absolutely ADORED the dynamics of this one. It's just the right amount of angsty and fluffy, and keeps you hooked throughout.” [@sujigguk]

“Damn these apples! I really loved this fic out of various of reasons, the relationship between the characters are amazingly written, the setting and overall plot is so well thought out and it just has the perfect mixture between angst, fluff and comedy… i mean, just the first chapter had me laughing so much.” @softjeon

THE WAY GUCCI LOOKS ON YOU by @joonsrack

— Summary; “Funny how even in this ridiculously absurd situation, life had made Taehyung a third-wheel. Or a sixth.If Bangtan Dry Cleaning was his fairy godmother, Jimin his little mouse, the jacket his magic dress and the club scene his ball, where the fuck was his prince charming?A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.”

bookclub; review

“So, this fic is really is so cute. I started in on it just casually, but found myself entirely sucked in and couldn't put it down until I'd read all that was written on it. Taehyung specifically is such an interesting character - his thought processes and sass are just perfect. I adore Jimin as well. And then there's Jungkook, who is so -INSUFFERABLY ARROGANT- but not in a way that makes you dislike him. He's still so endearing and you WANT these guys to just get off their high horses and kiss or something, but you also kinda want Tae to pour water into his lap because he's such a rich boy. I love it so much. I can't wait for the next part.” [@kimlinebiased]

“A story that could very well fit a movie! It’s everything you need on a sunday night! You laugh, you want to throw something at their rich faces and scream at the boys to just kiss already. A perfect Slow Burn!” [@softjeon]

“The way that Gucci look on you (amazing) is such an adorable and absurd (in the best way) slow burn. It’s a wip now, and I honestly cannot wait until the author updates. The case of mistaken identity is such a good trope that honestly, I feel, isn’t done enough. Especially not in such a cute and fun way. Of all the ways for Tae to get outed as not who he said he was – this one was epic. Of course, it’s a slowburn, so you expect the endgame ship to you know, not be huge fans of one another, but the tension here is so palpable, it is awesome. Taehyung cannot stand that cocky little JK and JK’s arrogance is both hilarious and infuriating. But there’s very clearly something deeper to him, and I really like that the author is able to make that clear through hints and clues, rather than just outright saying it. It adds a depth to JK’s character that often gets missed in fics, especially because we know these guys so well, so to speak. Having those sort of subtle nuances really adds to the overall enjoyability of the fic. I think Jimin is such a great supporting character too. He’s the perfect mix of Jiminy Cricket and devil in your ear, so to speak, and his personality comes off as so honest to who he is canonically. It makes him so fun to read. (And the YoonMinSeok trio is helpful as well, what can I say, soft spot for poly even in side pairings). All in all, it’s just an absolutely stunning fic so far and I can’t wait for the author to continue it.” [anon]

UKIYO by Sharleena [AO3]

— Summary; A story of tender tides and unmoving hummingbirds.

bookclub; review

“I'm almost halfway into this story but I really have to rec it cause wow...if you like mafia and urban fantasy themes then this is THAT fic for you listen succbus jimin, mafia leader yoongi, a damn deeply laced mystery that I can't EVEN FREAKING FIGURE OUT I usually can connect a few dots in mystery stories sometimes bUT THIS STORY IS KILLING ME there is someone yoongi is looking for that's destroying his gang and he like DOESN'T FREAKING EXIST and I know once I reach the end I'll be like IT WAS RIGHT FREAKING THERE IN MY FACE lmao but seriously the authors' worldbuilding skills is freaking legendary and I'm always hoe for mixing different themes together and the mix of urban fantasy and mafia just ugh freaking beautiful. The Slow Burn is real in his fic, yoonmins' dynamics are annoying and frustrating as heck but can be really sweet sometimes because they're both very broken individuals and they're trying to find comfort in one another. The themes are obviously very dark so carefully read the tags and also author notes in the beginning so you know what to expect but seriously it's so damn worth it and I will be personally putting a long feedback directly on their Ao3 as well when I'm done because i know I'm going to have lots more to say. BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE SHIIIITTTT SO FAR SO GOOD SO DAMN GOOD I FEEL FED EVERYTIME I READ IT GIVE IT A READ WHEN YOU CAN!!” [@flowerwrites06]

FAKE SUGAR by minverse [AO3]

— Summary; "I guess," Jungkook pauses momentarily to inhale a deep, bracing breath, "I would just want you to come to my work events and laugh at my jokes and don't correct people if they imply that we're doing it.""Having sex, you mean," Jin clarifies gently, and Jungkook chokes on air. If his face was any redder, Jin would insist on taking him to the hospital. Jungkook clears his throat, obviously trying to play off the strangled, choked sound as a casual cough."Yes. Doing... sex."

bookclub; review

“I love a good concept for fic, and a face sugar dating au sign me up!!! honestly this is one of my all-time favourite fics, cos its not only funny and entertaining but it has so much heart!!! like i just love the vibe of the fic, and i wish i could keep reading it forever. Plus the characters are so like-able and feel so human. Also jinkook holds a special place in my heart, and jk being all shy in the beginning and jins confidence is an unmatched pairing!!! EVERYONE JUST READ IT, ITS SO FUCKING GOOD, okay im done now sorry…" [@tinysweetscrown]

“I read this a while ago, and also everything else by minverse... Everything they write is gold, the character construction, the dialogue, the relationship/chemistry, the humour, the plots...just everything. Fake Sugar kept me up at night with its brilliance and originality, i couldn't get enough of jin and jungkook's relationship, but also all the other members' interaction and storyline. It's expertly written and i sincerely think everyone should read it, if they have not already.” [anon]

“Aaaaaah i love this so much!!! I absolutely love the characterisation of jin!!! I find it very refreshing! In some ways it’s completely /jin/ yet in others it’s such a nee and fun way of describing him (the fact that hes a competition eater absolutely sends me its just. So! Jin!) i also love jungkook!!! Tiny gay babie kook having to impress ppl he doesnt want to impress and getting competitive over that dindjdjd once again i could genuienly see it happening! And oh boy oh boy am i excited to see how this story pans out! The little appearances by the rest of bangtan as well i love it! It all flows very naturally and none of the cameos feel forced or anything. AND JIMIN UDJDJDJD I LOVE HIM. the fact that hes just a chaotic brat having dumpster sex and causing trouble oh my god im still crying jsbsjsnjs.” [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Romantic attraction is literal: characters feel a pull like gravity to people they’re attracted to. The bigger the attraction, the harder the pull.”

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate!

NUMINOUS written by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; “You’re fucking kidding me, are you?” He looked up at the ceiling and made an annoyed face. “You really want me to suffer do you? Stupid universe.”

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

#bangtanxm #bookclub*#bts #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #february highlight*

26 notes · View notes

ofcacthuxandkylosaur · 3 years

Text

FAQ

1. Where do you find those AU’s?

Well, mostly those are the AUs that cross my dash - when I happen to be active on tumblr. So you see, it is a bit restrictive and means there are probably lots of AUs I never found and I don’t even know exist! Every once in a while, I try exploring blogs or using tumblr search engine. It gets me results, but not as much as you would expect (tumblr search engine is not the most effective tool for that kind of things...). My ask box is also open in case you want to suggest a new tag/new post (see Q4 & Q5).

2. Are new AU tags meant to be added on the list?

I intend to. But it vastly depends on the AUs that cross my path (see Q1) and of the time I can manage to spend on the list. But I am always happy to discover new AUs :) On a side note, I intend to edit this version of the list rather than posting new versions. As long as I don’t have to split it again it should be fine!

3. Do you continue tagging the posts you reblog?

Yes, I try. So if you click on the same tag now and then in a few months, you may see new posts. ‘May’ of course, because I don’t encounter every AU everyday and some AUs are more popular than others...

4. Can I suggest an AU tag?

Yes please! The more tags the better. I can’t guarantee I’ll add it to the list though. Maybe I already use a synonym (or a concept too close to create a new entry). I also need to have more than two posts about an AU to create a tag (otherwise, it will be tagged as “Other AU” and possibly “Other /thematicName/ AU”). So it is best you also suggest post(s) bond to the AU you suggest (please send me links to those or directly submit the post(s) otherwise I might never find them!). It can also take me a few weeks to effectively add the new tag to the list since I must check possible affiliations/redirections/proximity (see “HOW” section of ABOUT) and see if it fits in any thematic list.

I must also warn you that I reserve myself the right to refuse an AU I am really uncomfortable with (typically heavy gore and obvious/graphic abuse). I try to be inclusive but there are some things I can’t bring myself to reblog. You can try reblogging and tagging that AU yourself, then create a post with a ‘yourBlogName.tumblr.com/tagged/tagName’ type of link, and I might add a link to that one post in the list. To be discussed. However, I will not add a pe /dophilic AU to the list. Ever.

5. Can I suggest post(s) for existing AU tags?

Yes, please do!! You can send me the link via an ask or submit it. Just try to look at the post’s notes beforehand (”see notes”) to see if I haven’t reblogged it already.

6. Can I suggest a new thematic list?

Yes you can! I can’t guarantee I’ll have the time to make it, but it could happen. Please try to provide an explanation for the theme (to make sure I get what you mean), with maybe a definition and an example of which tags you can see belonging to it (and which you think don’t). Note that all the tags appearing on thematic lists already exist in the general AU list, so I won’t come up with new tags for a new thematic list.

7. What about Kylux adjacent?

I only included technicians (Matt/Techie), since it was the first adjacent paring to emerge. Also, since Matt is a radar technician he is still technically in the Star Wars universe. I wish I could have “tracked” every adjacent pairing but there are so many and I lost count. It would have taken me an incredible amount of time I didn’t have. If you happen to have your own tag list referencing all/part of those adjacent ships, you can contact me if you’re ok with me adding a link in my AU list redirecting people to your blog for Kylux adjacent.

8. The same post appears twice or more for the same AU. Is it normal?

No, I try to have each post to only appear once for each AU. BUT this list has been in the making for so long and some tags have so many posts that it is sometimes difficult to avoid duplication. If it bothers you, you can send me the links to those posts (all of them please) and I’ll try to settle it.

9. I am confused as to why you tagged a certain post like you did. Could it be a mistake?

It could. I do my best but sometimes it is hard to sort posts into tags. It could also be that the post comes from a series of posts and that it only becomes clear that the serie belongs to an AU when you read/see all the posts. Both scenari are an option, so feel free to message me about it.

10. I am the OP of a post and you definitively tagged it wrong...

Ooops sorry! Please send me an ask so I can settle this!

11. I encountered a broken/incorrect link inside the list...

That is not normal. All of the tags displayed in the list should be working. This is however possible. There are many tags and I might have made a mistake. Please send me an ask with the name of the broken tag so I can fix it!

12. In ABOUT you said that there needs to be more than two posts for an AU to become a tag. Yet I found an AU tag with only two posts...

It happens. As I said in ABOUT, this is a general rule, and there are exceptions. If there are only two posts, but (one of) those posts are(/is) long, contains multiple art or a combination moodboard/fic, I might decide to make it a tag anyway. If, on the contrary, you spot a tag with three or more posts that doesn’t have a proper tag in the list, please let me know!

13. I don’t understand why you tagged a specific post “other” alongside already existing tags...

“Other AU” is a default tag I use when there is no existing category fit for a post. A post tagged “other” can also be tagged “Other /thematicName/ AU” if it fits in any of the thematic lists. Also, you must remember that posts can be multi-tagged as a same post can have multiple “dimensions”. For example, it can depict a scene happening on a boat (”Cruise AU”) where Kylo happens to be a secret agent (”Agent Kylo AU”). Thus, if there’s a specific dimension about an AU that would justify the creation of a new tag, but I don’t have enough posts of that kind to actually create it (yet), the post will be tagged “other”, even though the other(s) dimension(s) are already depicted by existing tags. Let’s pretend that in the previous example, “Agent Kylo AU” was not yet part of the list. I would have tagged it “Cruise AU” and “other AU” (+ “Other Jobs AU”). I might even have added the “Agent Kylo AU” tag for internal purposes (so I can check how many of them I have and determine if it is time or not to add a new tag to the list).

14. A “Read More”/redirection link on a post doesn’t lead anywhere...

A “Read More” link redirects you to the OP blog. If the blog has changed name/been deleted or if the OP removed the post, you will end up nowhere. It is sad but you won’t be able to read the full post and there is nothing I can do about it. When it happens, you can however send me a message so that I can precise on the post that the “Read More” option is not an option anymore (please send me a link to my reblog of the post otherwise chances are I’ll never find it). Same goes for any other redirection link(s) present on the posts. If the page you were supposed to land on doesn’t exist anymore, I can’t do much about it, save warn people about it.

15. You reblogged comics in the wrong order...

Reblogging multiple pages comics is difficult. Either you reblog it entirely at once, either you reblog each page as it goes (the comic appears thus in reverse order in your blog). And if you miss some, it quickly becomes a mess. I tried to reblog relatively short comics at once, starting with the last part (so that the first page appears first when people scroll/navigate) but I often couldn’t. Some comics are not even complete, either because they were left unfinished, either because I just lost the thread. If there are navigation links within the posts, it is probably best you follow those. If not, maybe try to open the pages in different tabs and to order those accordingly. Or, and this is probably my best advice, try looking on the OP blog. They probably have a tag for their comic and it may make things easier!

16. You reblogged one of my posts and I’d rather not have it referenced by your list...

No problem! Please contact me I’ll untag it asap!

17. I have a question regarding the list that is not referenced above. Is it ok for me to ask it?

Yes, of course. Just be sure your answer doesn’t already lies in the ABOUT section (and refer to Q18 in case my answer doesn’t come too fast...).

18. I asked you a question but am still waiting for an answer...

Obviously (except if you were sending (anon) hate), I am not mad at you. I might need a few days to answer you. If a week has passed and I didn’t post an answer, chances are: 1) I didn’t see your message (tumblr eats it sometimes) or 2) I’ve been out of tumblr (busy with work, on holiday or something) or 3) my brain is not really complying at the moment. I do have down periods and, when it happens, I might not have the heart/energy to answer. It can last a few weeks or several months. I try to look at my inbox when I come back on this site but I might miss a message if too much have been sent. In any case, you can try and send your question again later.

See ABOUT for more general information

#my answers to questions/remarks #faq #tag list faq #my tag lists faq

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daveyjacobss · 4 years

Text

i’ve waited my whole life

jack kelly x davey jacobs

summary: i want to drive away with you, i want your complications too

(or: jack and davey get caught in a blizzard on the way to the jacobs’ for hanukkah)

a/n: happy hanukkah everyone!! it’s 10:26 pm here which means i officially finished this in time for the first night of hanukkah!!! hope you all enjoy this, as always - i’d love to hear your reactions :) (& yes the title is from paper rings by taylor swift and there will hopefully be a holiday themed mini series with other taylor swift lyrics and other ships)

also - the spacing/formatting of this is showing up really weird for me, so sorry if it shows up like that for you too :/

ao3 | masterlist

__________

It started snowing only a little bit before Jack and Davey left their shared apartment and got into their car. It was just a few flurries, nothing too much to worry about. At least, that's what the weather forecast had said. So they headed out with no worries on their mind, singing loudly to the songs on Jack's playlist. Jack was behind the wheel because Davey was too anxious of a driver, and Jack hadn't wanted to stress him out at all. Which he wasn't, or at least it didn't seem like it. Which was good, obviously. Even if Jack himself was maybe, possibly, more anxious than he'd ever been.

They were on their way to Davey's parents house, with the intention of spending the entire of Hanukkah there. Jack wasn't Jewish, but after so many years of knowing Davey and being welcomed into his family he was fairly familiar with their traditions. And, really, none of that should have made him anxious in the slightest - because he knew Davey's family. He loved the Jacobs, and they loved him. Davey had already made several comments about how excited Les would be to hang out with Jack (the kid practically idolized him) and he and Sarah were good friends, despite the fact that she was dating Jack's sort of ex-girlfriend. (They were fine, though. The break up was mutual, and Katherine and him were still close.) Davey's parents were happy to have him, they always had been from the minute he had befriended Davey back in high school. And he wasn't an anxious driver like Davey. Actually, driving came naturally to him, just like painting. So there was no reason for him to be so stressed.

Except he was. And maybe there was a small, minuscule, barely-there reason. For example, the fact that it had only been a week since Jack had realized that he was in love with his best friend, AKA the guy seated next to him passionately singing along to Paper Rings. Jack wanted to lean over and kiss him senseless, to hell with safe driving. He did not do that, obviously, but the thought was there, and it made him anxious.

They had been watching some Hallmark Christmas movie together on the couch when it happened. They both adored those stupid films, entertaining themselves by making comments and jokes, criticizing every action each character took. The main protagonist in the movie they'd been watching had done something particularly idiotic, and Jack made a comment about how it was dumber than that time Race and Albert has decided to test out whether their tongues would actually stick to a frozen pole. Davey has burst out laughing, spilling some the popcorn out of the bowl that had been resting on his lap. Jack looked over with a smug smile, proud of his joke, but it fell away quickly. Watching as Davey laughed, the light from the TV screen illuminating his face, took Jack's breath away. He looked so...so.... beautiful. And then that was all he could think about, just how fucking gorgeous Davey Jacobs was. Davey seemed none the wiser to Jack's heart-stopping epiphany. But Jack was suddenly hyper aware of how close they were sitting, sharing the same blanket and eating popcorn out of the same bowl, legs touching. He couldn't get himself to pay attention to the rest of the movie, his breath hitching each time Davey moved. Davey fell asleep only a little bit after the next movie started, his head falling on Jack's shoulder.

Jack wanted to run to the window, open it, and scream endlessly into the abyss of the night sky. He could not have a crush on Davey, of all people. Not after all these years of strictly platonic feelings. Except, maybe they hadn't been. The longer he sat there with Davey's head on his shoulder, the more he realized just how long he had been harboring feelings for his roommate. And, with that, came the realization that those feelings were not simply a crush.

So as Davey laughed his way through songs and the snow steadily began to pick up, Jack was extremely anxious. He didn't know how to act around Davey anymore. Try as he might, nothing he said or did felt right. Nothing felt normal. Davey could tell something was off, Jack knew he could, but he was merciful enough to leave it be. Jack joined him in singing along with a Mumford & Sons song, hoping that he didn't look as distraught as he felt. More than anything, he was terrified that Katherine and Sarah would see right through him. They would know.

They were about an hour into the drive when Jack started to grow worried about the snow. The windshield wipers were working like crazy, and they could only see so far ahead of the car. Davey, ever the sensible one, unplugged Jack's phone and switched to a radio channel announcing weather reports. The radio anchor's voice filled the car, somewhat disrupted (which Jack assumed was due to the storm they were driving through).

"No one could have predicted this blizzard!" The guy said, sounding cheerful. Davey and Jack exchanges worried glances, but kept quiet so they could keep listening. "Due to the poor visibility out on the roads, all drivers are being urged to find somewhere to park or pullover, and hopefully make it inside."

"Great," Jack quipped sarcastically, trying to sound unfazed. Davey whipped out his phone, presumably looking up places near them that they could go. Without thinking, Jack reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. The last thing he wanted was Davey having a panic attack because of the snow. Jack was a good enough driver, and it wasn't as if they were driving in the middle of nowhere - there was bound to be somewhere they could go. Davey shot him a grateful look before returning his gaze to his phone, sitting up straighter within a few seconds.

"Okay, at the next light we come to turn right. There's a diner not too far down the road and the website says they're open." Jack nodded in affirmation, slowing to a stop at the red light as he turned on his turn signal. The turn itself was bit bumpy, their tires slipping a little on the snow. Davey drew in a sharp breath and his hand shot out to grip tightly onto Jack's arm. Jack hated how his heart skipped a beat at the contact.

The diner in question came into view rather quickly, a warm yellow and red sign composed of neon lights informing them that it was called Frank's. Jack pulled into the parking lot fairly easily, parking in the closest spot to the building available. There was only two other cars in the small lot, so they assumed they wouldn't be getting too much company while they were there. They both zipped up their jackets all the way and did everything they could to cover every inch of themselves to stay protected from the cold. Davey took a deep breath and then looked over at Jack.

"Okay," he said, muffled due to the fact that the bottom of his face was tucked into the neck of his coat. "Let's do this."

They opened their respective car doors and jumped out as quick as they could, slamming the doors behind them as they made a break for the entrance to the building. They burst through doors panting with a gust of wind right behind them. A girl around their age, maybe a little older, looked up from where she stood behind the counter, drinking from a mug. She raised an eyebrow at them with a somewhat amused grin.

"Suppose you boys are looking for somewhere to escape the storm?" She asked, a slight drawl in her voice that made it sound like she had grown up in the south. Jack nodded in response, flexing his hands to try and bring some warmth into his hands. "Well, take any table you like," she instructed. "I'll go grab you some menus." She retreated through a door to what Jack assumed was the kitchen in the back. He followed Davey's lead to a booth by the windows, sliding into the seat opposite him.

"Damn," he sighed, looking out at the snow. "Guess we're gonna be late." Davey let out a very unattractive snort that Jack should not have found endearing in the slightest (except he did).

"Yeah, I'd say so," Davey smiled. The girl returned then, saving Jack from getting too lost in Davey's eyes. Now that she was out from behind the counter, heading toward their booth with menus in hand, he could see that she was wearing a yellow 50s style uniform. It was cute and, as he looked around, he realized that it matched the aesthetic of the rest of the diner as well. There was a jukebox against one of the walls and photos and posters from the 50s scattered through the place. Jack was filled with the urge to sketch it, but all of the art supplies he had brought with him were back in the car.

When the waitress reached their table she laid the menus out in front of them and Jack was able to read on her name tag that her name was Maria.

"Alright, so right now we're technically serving the lunch menu," she pointed to the middle section of Davey's menu, "but we serve breakfast all day, and if y'all want something from the dinner menu, that's fine. Not like we're getting much other business today." She shrugged with an easy smile. "Can I start you off with some drinks? Normally I'd recommend the milkshakes but, well..." she gesture out the window and Jack gave a little laugh. She smiled sweetly at him in response.

"You know what?" He asked. "I'll still take a milkshake. Black and white, please."

"And for you, doll?" She turned Davey. Jack watched as his cheeks tinted pink at the nickname and simultaneously wanted to tease him and tell Maria to back off (not that he had any right to do that, but he wanted to be the one making Davey blush).

"I'll have a Oreo milkshake, please," he spoke quietly.

"Sure thing," she grinned at the both of them. "They'll be right out."

They sat in silence for a few moments, simply enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of the diner. Jack watched Davey's face as the other man gazed at the falling snow with an almost childlike wonder. He had always known that Davey was the out-of-this-world type beautiful, even from the first moment he saw him - but what he hadn't realized was that, overtime, those foreign elements of beauty had instead become familiar and comforting, giving him a new type of artistry. His eyes, once mysterious, were now read as easily as a book. He hadn't realized how long he had simply been ogling at Davey until Maria came back with their shakes in hand.

"Here ya go," she grinned, setting their glasses down in front of them. Her smile turned sheepish as they both grinned back at her. "Would y'all mind if I just hung out in the kitchen for now? My girlfriend's back there making food for us." A warm feeling bloomed in Jack's chest. No matter how old he got, he didn't think he would ever get past the joy that came with hearing someone else talk so casually about not being straight.

"It's no problem at all," Davey said at the same time as Jack opened his mouth to say "Of course."

"Thank you," Maria beamed. "If y'all need anything you have full permission to go into the kitchen." With that, she was practically skipping off.

"Well, that was nice" Davey chuckled softly. Jack focused on his milkshake so as not to find himself captivated by the way Davey's face had softened at the mention of the waitress's girlfriend.

__________

They'd been at the diner for a few hours, talking and playing games to pass the time. They hadn't seen a lot of Maria, but they had met her girlfriend, Abigail, who had greeted them with one of the biggest, friendliest smiles Jack had ever seen.

"Okay, so," Jack began. "In the future, would you rather there be flying cards or actual hoverboards like in Back to the Future?" Davey, who was laying on one of the booth seat with his head hanging upside down facing Jack laying in a booth opposite him, tilted his head with a questioning look on his face.

"Are there hoverboards in Back to the Future?" He asked. Jack took a pause to think.

"Pretty sure, yeah. 'S been a while since I've seen it."

"I don't think I've watched it since I was a kid and my parents showed it to me and Sarah."

"We're getting off topic here, Dave." Davey's cheeks went rosy in response to the nickname and Jack grinned.

"Alright, I suppose I'd want flying cars," Davey finally answered.

"Why?"

"I'd probably fall off of a hoverboard, to be honest." Jack burst out laughing at his answer, and Davey smiled at him when he did.

"Oh, you definitely would!" Jack giggled. "You'd call right on your face, oh my god!" Davey sat up to grab a napkin of the table before crumbling it up and throwing it at Jack. It hit him right on the forehead and his laughter only increased in volume, Davey joining in.

"Okay, okay," Davey heaved, still catching his breath. "In the future." Jack motioned for him to continue, still slightly laughing. "In the future, how many kids do you want?"

"Not sure I want any really, not when I'm basically already a father for all of the boys," Jack smirked. Davey smiled fondly at him.

"Don't think that's gonna work," Davey chuckled. "I've already got tons of baby name options for us." He smiled at Jack, all bright eyes and messy hair and flushed cheeks with the snowy world in the window behind him and just from looking at it Jack could tell it was so, so cold but Davey was right there and he was nothing but warmth.

Us.

Jack couldn't breath.

And Davey was still just sat there, smiling at him like he hadn't just sent Jack's heart running directly out of his chest.

"Us?" He finally managed to ask, voice barely even a whisper. Davey's smile dropped and his blush deepened, his eyes immediately leaving Jack's face in favor of staring at the wall to his right. "David," Jack tried again, voice a little bit stronger. "What did you by 'us'?" Davey glanced quickly at him before looking away again as if his life depended on it.

"I just-" He started, but his voice gave out on him slightly and he paused to breath, and then gulped in a cartoonish way that Jack would have teased him about at any other time. "Whenever I think about the future, I think about us. Together." Davey's face was red to a concerning degree and his hands were shaking and fidgeting in a way that made it clear to Jack that his anxiety was kicking in at full force. But Jack wasn't supposed to be someone that Davey got anxious around, he was supposed to be the one who kept Davey grounded, who held his hand when he needed a physical anchor and counted his breaths for him. Davey was sat there, all bright eyes and messy hair and flushed cheeks. He was beautiful and familiar and warm and he was home. And Jack was so unbelievably irreversibly in love with him.

Davey opened his mouth to start speaking again, but before he even got the chance Jack had crossed the space between their opposite booths and had practically tackled him down into the cushioned booth seat.

Kissing Davey was easy. Kissing Davey was breathtaking and warm and fuzzy and happy. Kissing Davey was all Jack had wanted to do for years, even if he hadn't known it. And Davey was kissing him back. Davey was grabbing his shoulders and his hair and pulling closer and Jack could kiss him for the rest of time and never grow tired of it. They were in the middle of a blizzard in a 50s themed diner, laying down tangled up in one of the booths, and it wasn't where Jack had pictured it happening. In all of his daydreams, he'd never pictured where they would end up - where it would happen. But when they pulled apart and they were both panting and Davey beamed up after him with a look of pure elation Jack didn't even give it a second thought before saying it.

“I'm in love with you."

Davey's smile only widened as he pulled Jack in for another kiss.

"I'm in love with you too, you dork." Jack laughed and then so did Davey and everything felt so absolutely right. They spent the rest of their time in the diner cuddled up in that booth, talking quietly with flushed cheeks and ecstatic smiles.

When the storm cleared enough for it to be safe to get back on the road, they bid Maria and Abigail a cheerful goodbye. The car ride the rest of the way to Davey's parents' house was charged with a new type of energy. They debated whether or not to tell everyone right away, given they had quite literally just gotten together, and decided against saying anything immediately - if only because they wanted to see whether Sarah or Katherine would figure it out first.

And, despite his normal anxiousness on the road, Davey held Jack's hand the whole time.

_________

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#javid #jack kelly x davey jacobs #newsies #javid fic #newsies fic #bambi can kinda write

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