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ham-st4r · 6 months

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𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓹𝓽. 5 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

📞Pairing: heeseung + fem reader!

Warnings: mentions of mutual masturbation, dirty talk, pet names, mature jokes.

Genre: PSO (phone sex operator) heeseung

Note: just a lil filler chap hope you enjoy!!!

Number of words: will add later

Find your way around!

It was early in the morning by the time you and Ethan had finished your little mutual masturbation session, and you were both tired and exhausted after sharing multiple orgasms back to back, but that didn't stop you guys from texting each other back and forth till sunrise he wanted to talk to you on the phone some more, but you were too shy after everything you did with him so you decided texting would be better.

Heeseung: So I feel like we rushed into this a little fast, so maybe if it's okay with you, we could talk and get to know each other better.

Your heart jumps at the thought of him actually wanting to get to know you. When you first called him that night, you never even thought of something like this happening, but you weren't complaining either.

You: Sure, I'd love to

He smiles, fingers dancing across his keypad to reply

Heeseung: So, I guess I should get this out of the way first. My real name is actually heeseung and not Ethan.

You cup your mouth in shock while reading his text.

You: There's no way.

Heeseung: Why? Do you not like it? You can still call me Ethan if you want. I just thought I'd let you know.

You: No, I do like it, but I just moaned your fake name for the past hour. Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Heeseung: Sorry, angel, but I do have to admit I love the way you call me Ethan.

You: But what if I called you by your real name?

Heeseung: Fuck don't say that now. I'm gonna get hard all over again just thinking about it.

You: Not saying it 😬

Heeseung: So, are there any secrets you're hiding from me or things I should know before we start talking?

You: What, no, why would I?

Heeseung: I'm playing Angel, so tell me more about yourself. You had me intrigued since day 1

You blushed, kicking your feet excitedly as you went on to tell him more about yourself. Some trivial things and, surprisingly, a lot of personal things that normally you found hard to open up about, but with him, it was so easy, especially cause he opened up to you about a lot of things as well.

The sun was up while the two of you texted away with each other, talking about an array of various topics until you both had to go to sleep. Finally, you had school in the morning, and he had worked at a sandwich shop he had told you about earlier.

Heeseung: Angel, I'm so sorry. I gotta go now. I have school and then work tomorrow, but if it's okay, I'd like to talk some more.

Your heart flutters, still not able to comprehend the fact that you were actually talking to the guy you met on a phone sex site, and on top of that, he was actually interested in getting to know you.

You: I'd love to. I'll be home by three my time.

Heeseung: Okay, I work part-time in the afternoon, so I'll call a bit later, okay, Angel?

You: Okay, goodnight etha- I mean heeseung

You tease.

He chuckled at the text, eyes burning from staying up and talking to you for so long, but it was so worth it.

Heeseung: Goodnight angel

Heeseung: Morning

Heeseung texted you first thing. He knew you'd probably still be asleep after staying up so late, but he knew you'd see his text at some point today.

He was right cause you woke up hours later and saw his text responding to him immediately.

You: Morning Ethan

Heeseung: Look who finally decided to show I was so lonely without you. 🥺

You: Please as if 🙄

Heeseung: Wow, here I am, trying to be cute, and you just diss me. That's cold, especially after I sent nudes. 😔

You: Aww 😀

Heeseung: Rude

Heeseung: So anyway, are you still at school? Was it fun? How is your day going so far?

You smile at your screen, getting all giddy because he's actually taking an interest in what you're doing.

You: I'm walking home now, but yeah it was fun but also kinda boring if that makes sense.

Heeseung: It totally does, angel, and I'm happy you're finished. You deserve a break.

You: Thank you

Heeseung: Wait, you don't mind if I call you angel, right?

You: Of course not. I love it when you call me that.

Heeseung: Good girl.

You: *blush*

Heeseung: Cutie, so I was thinking maybe once I get off work, if you'd like to chat for a while, are you still up for that?

You: Hmmm, sure, I'd like that.

Heeseung: I get off at five, is that okay?

You: Works for me.

You: But wait, aren't you supposed to do your other job?

You ask after finding out he worked two jobs along with school.

Heeseung: Shh, haha, yeah, but like, of course, I'm gonna skip it for you duh🙄

You: Heeseung, don't do that.

You reply, letting him know that you shouldn't be his priority over working.

Heeseung: It's whatever, just something I do for quick cash cause I'm good at it. Besides, missing one night isn't going to break the bank.

You: If you say so.

Heeseung: I do say so. I'm gonna get back to work before my manager scolds me for being on the clock while on my phone. Expect to hear from me later, though, okay?

You: Okay! Have a good rest of your shift. I look forward to hearing your voice again😉

You add, attempting to flirt a little.

Heeseung: Keep talking like that and watch the way I walk off the job so I can go home and call you.

You: 😬

"So, angel, if you don't mind me asking, where are you from?" You were both home relaxing on your beds while you FaceTime each other, except he was the only one showing his face.

You go on to tell him where you're from, and as soon as the words leave your mouth, his face falls completely flat.

"You're joking? Like, please tell me you're joking."

"No?"

"That's hours away from here," he pouts. "Like thousands of miles."

"So?" You shrug.

"So? I was thinking about meeting you, obviously not this soon, but like maybe later down the road once we get closer, but I guess that's probably not gonna ever happen."

"That's what FaceTime is for," you chuckled, trying to hide your happiness. You couldn't believe he had actually thought about meeting you.

"I can't touch you through the phone," he deadpans as your giggling comes to a stop.

"O-oh," you whisper shyly.

"What? Something wrong?"

"Nothing, just trying to get used to your forwardness."

"I can tone it down a bit since we haven't known each other that long, you know? I just thought since we already you know it'd be okay, but if not I'll stop."

He rambles on and on.

"No, it's fine. I like it, and I feel really close to you already, like two peas in a pod." You smiled even though he couldn't see it.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we covered a lot of ground last night," you laughed.

"We sure did," he smirked, and by that look, you already knew he was about to say something. "So, how about you let me put my pea in your pod?"

"Stop it." You covered your face, cupping your cheeks that were burning from embarrassment.

"You're so easy to tease," he giggles. "So is it like cold where you are then?

He asked instead of teasing you some more.

"Yes, and it's a bit past midnight already," you groan.

"Midnight? So, should I let you go now?"

"I think that would be best, yeah."

He popped his mouth. "Dang it, well, okay. I can call you again tomorrow if you want at the same time?"

"Same time. Goodnight, Ethan."

He rolls his eyes jokingly. "Night night angel"

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback! -🐹

Permanent taglist @hee-pster @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heehoonsnemo

Just a call away taglist " @heeseungshim @rayofsunshineeee @fakeuwus @heesquared @skzenhalove @wildflowermooon @get-a-guitar bold can’t be tagged

#heeseung smut #enhypen smut #enhypen heeseung smut #enhypen heeseung #heeseung #lee heeseung smut #enhypen #lee heeseung #smut

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luvvvivii · 7 months

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"i love you" — l.fl

pairing - idol!felix x gn!reader

genre - fluff, imagine

wc - 705

warnings - not proofread (surprise surprise), a bunch of pet names used (my love, angel, dear), lmk if more

a/n - I'm back suckas!!! 😋 enjoy this small felix post whilst I start to get back into the groove of writing (also abt the writing, times next to the date is in readers time zone)

synopsis - in which your idol boyfriend sends you voice notes whilst he's away

02.16.23 — 1:05 am

"good morning dear. actually, I think it's night for you right now? you better be asleep, alright? haha, it feels odd not being able to speak to each other how we usually would, doesn't it? but I guess this is what idol life is like? *chuckle* anyways, how was your day? did you do anything fun today? I hope you're eating good as well…I might head out for a bit with chan, so I'll talk with you later? sweet dreams angel. I love you!"

02.17.23 — 6:37 pm

"hey yn, you're asleep right? this is usually when you have your evening naps. don't be taking an all nighter again after this, though. I know you really like that show but sleep is important too you know? *chuckle*...today is day one of our concert in melbourne. I'm back in australia after so long, and I'm super excited! it's a shame I can't be here with you right now, but at least I can still update you and stuff. I can't wait to meet even more stays—oh, that's minho calling. sorry yn, got to go. I'll update you all about it after! enjoy the rest of your night, I love you."

02.18.23 — 12:53 pm

"hey dear, have you eaten yet? sorry I couldn't send any voice notes this morning, I woke up late and had to rush. day two of our concert was amazing! oh gosh, I wish you were here. hey, I don't think I told you about the dream I had last night, did I? well, we were just about to head to sydney for our tour there, and then suddenly you gave us a surprise visit! that's pretty much it, I woke up after that. haha, it seemed so real I even looked around for you whilst I was still half awake! *sigh* well, I think I'm going to go to sleep now, sorry for such a boring voice note today. have a good day, I love you angel."

02.20.23 — 3:31 pm

"yn, I'm so tired. but I can't go to sleep. *laugh* I was on my phone and got completely carried away, and now it's two am!...I think I might just start yapping about something with you, like how we always do when neither of us can sleep. that's what always helps me get tired…not that I'm saying you're boring! *chuckle* what I'm trying to say is…I just feel so at ease when I know that you're listening to me talk…let's not get depressed now, haha. how is your day going dear? doing anything fun today? make sure to send pictures, I haven't been able to see your pretty face in a while. you know, I think I might head off now, starting to feel a bit drowsy. we've got day one in sydney tomorrow, so I'll probably talk to you about it all later. goodnight my love, I love you to the moon and back."

02.21.23 — 2:01 am

"yn! it's finally day one in sydney! ah, I really wish you were here right now. you'll be cheering me on from back at home, right? I know you'll be looking for videos after the concert haha. make sure to have fun today angel! and I'll make sure to pour my heart and soul into the performances for you, like I always do. sorry for this voice note being so short, but I've got to go. I love you!"

02.22.23 — 3:19am

"sydney day 2! ah, you really don't understand how overwhelming this experience is, yn. this is absolutely crazy, but I've probably already said this a ton, right? *laugh*...you know, I hope one day we can travel to australia together, and I could show you all my favourite places to go and things to do from when I was a kid. but that's saved for the future! just wait a bit longer, my love, I'll be back home faster than you can believe. and cheer me on today as well, alright! I'll do the same for you dear. I've got to go now, an exciting concert ahead. I love you."

#skz #stray kids #skz x reader #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #skz imagine #felix #lee felix #yongbok #yongbok x reader #felix x reader #lee felix x reader

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self-written-god · 8 months

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T | 1692 | it's Steddie again :) more of the wingfolk!Eddie AU | continuation of 'wings'

As soon as he passed the "Welcome to Hawkins" sign, he got nervous. There was a phone call looming over him. One of professional variety but with a very kind and handsome man.

The slightly crumpled business card is waiting in his wallet, hidden out of view, so it wouldn't distract him on tour. Too much, at least. Steve probably hasn't thought about him at all. It's been over a month, he might have forgotten about his offer completely.

He still had to unload their equipment in Gareth's garage, so it took several hours before he could hide behind his trailer's doors and pick up the phone.

"Robin's grooming service, how can we help you?" a woman's voice answered. Probably Robin herself, he thought.

"Hi, it's Eddie Munson, I've talked with Steve-"

"Wait, hold on," she interrupted him. "Steeeve!" she yelled away from the receiver but still loud enough for him to flinch. "Your man is calling!"

Your man? Oh. Oh.

There's a clatter on the other side before he can finally hear Steve's voice.

"Eddie?" He sounds excited and Eddie's stomach swoops. His wings flutter behind him, the traitorous bastards.

"Or your man, if you prefer?"

Steve lets out an awkward laugh.

"I might have been talking about you a bit too much."

Eddie shuffled in place, elation preventing him from standing still.

"That excited to see me?" he drawls, unable to help himself.

"Gods, yes," the man groaned. "I really hope you'll let Robin do your makeup, I've found this eyeshadow that'll match your wings perfectly. I've been drafting the photoshoot pretty much since you left."

Right. The photo shoot. The favour he was asked for.

"I'm okay with makeup," he says, composing himself quickly. There's a tiny "yes!" On the other hand, he can't help the smile pulling on his lips. "When would you want to do it?"

"Are you free now?"

For a second, Eddie is too stunned to answer, so Steve follows up:

"No, I know it's late, we'd do the photos tomorrow at the earliest, but I'm too hyped now and would love to talk out the details with you. In person."

The silence on the other side is expectant and nervous. Eddie considers his losses. Possible chances.

"I guess I could meet up," he says, totally casual like he wasn't day-dreaming about seeing the man again with every groupie at his side.

"Great! We're actually closing soon, so would you be okay with going to my place?" There's a squeak on the other side, followed by some clattering. He could have imagined it though, it was so quiet. "It's okay if you'd rather stay in the salon."

"No, it's okay. We can talk it out at yours," he pushes out, wondering how in the hell was he gonna stay sane while in the man's home, having a semi-business conversation. Artistic project conversation? Not a fucking date, that's for sure.

"Whenever you can, then. I'll wait for you at the salon, it's just a short walk."

"I just got back, gotta shower and eat something, and I'm off."

"I'll feed you, don't worry about that."

"Uh, okay then. Shower and I'm leaving."

"Perfect." He could hear the pleased smile through the line. "It's nice to know calling me was a priority over eating, you know," the man teased, ending the call before Eddie could defend himself.

He sighed, realizing he accidentally gave his eagerness away.

He deliberately took his shower slower than usual.

As soon as he stood in front of the salon, Steve was waving at him through the glass. Eddie waved back, unwilling to acknowledge they were both acting like dorks.

After grabbing some stuff, the man met him outside.

"Hi! It's nice to see you again!" He said with a wide smile, eyes on him while he locked up. Then he turned fully towards him and raised his hands, with an expectant quirk of his eyebrow.

Albeit surprised, Eddie leaned into the short hug.

"Likewise," he admitted. They started walking arm to arm as Steve led the way.

"I have some leftover sauce, and I could cook pasta real quick. Is that okay?"

"After a month of bar food and cheap take-out? More than okay."

Steve laughed.

"Okay, I get it. Does it mean you don't want any beer to wash it down either?"

Eddie was shaking his head before the question even rang out fully.

"I need alcohol, I was the driver for the whole tour."

"None of your bandmates has a license?"

"Uh, they do, but Gareth is the only one I would trust with my van, and he's not comfortable in the altered seat."

Steve nodded with understanding. Wingfolk drivers had their seats cut a certain way so the wings wouldn't get in the way.

"So Gareth is the human drummer?"

Eddie nearly ran into a light pole.

"You remembered?"

"A human drummer in an all-wings metal band Corroded Coffin? Yeah, I remembered."

He was ready to swoon on the spot.

He watched Steve cook the pasta while shuffling through sketches and magazine cut-outs of winged models, make-ups and hairdos. There was a lot, and he was surprised to see how much thought Steve had put into it. Into him.

To his surprise, when they sat down to eat, Steve asked him about his tour. And he paid attention to his words, asking the right questions at the right times. Like he was genuinely invested.

It was only after Eddie thanked him for the meal and started his second beer, that the actual purpose of his visit was brought up.

"I think you'd look the best if we made you more animalistic, but I don't want to play into any hurtful stereotypes, you know?"

Eddie only shrugged.

"I don't mind. People will think what they want anyway. Besides, you're not putting me in a suit."

"Pity, but I bet you'd look good in anything," he said, eyes assessing Eddie's body, stopping at the halter top he chose to wear. It displayed even more skin than his cut-up shirt from their first meeting. It was easier to take off, too.

It seemed to be doing its job.

"Anything in mind?"

Steve hummed.

"I don't know, I kinda like the halterneck." Then, with hesitation, he added, "I was thinking… nothing, actually? I want to focus on your wings."

"Steve,” Eddie coos with a smirk. “If you wanted my nudes you should have just said so.”

"Black fabric!" Steve spat out, face red. Eddie barely held in a laugh. "We'll wrap some fabric around your hips, maybe make a simple toga. Not completely nude!"

"Boo, ruining the fun," he pouted.

To rein in his humiliation, Steve went into business mode.

"I want to do your hair, just simple stuff to give it some shine and volume. Robin would do eye makeup, something to match your metal vibe," he smiled, and Eddie grinned back. "My friend Jon will be photographing, we have some poses in mind, but I've found out it's best to work on the spot."

Eddie whistled.

"A whole team working on little old me."

"I want the photos to look professional, and your eyes unstabbed with an eye pencil, so yes. A team," Steve nods seriously.

"I kinda liked the one-on-one treatment though. It was very relaxing," he mused, half hoping to get an idea of what Steve's thinking.

"We'll work alone before they join us. I'll also owe you another session for doing this for me," he reminded him with a shrug. Eddie hummed softly.

"Right… Can I cash in now?"

Steve blinked.

"I was actually hoping we could do the photoshoot tomorrow, or the day after so…"

"Great, we'll get a head start, then."

Steve gulps, looking around as if for an escape route and Eddie winces. Maybe he got a bit ahead of himself.

"Sorry, I overstepped. We're not in your salon anyway. We can do it tomorrow." He grabbed his beer, planning to empty it and leave as soon as possible, but Steve straightened in alarm.

"No! It's- We can do the brushing today," he nodded, mostly to himself, before scrambling to grab the wing brush. He rolled it in his palms, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Where would you want to sit? Robin usually lies on the floor or on the bed. Sometimes just sits in front of the couch, but it's not the most comfortable."

Eddie considers his chances.

"Is bed okay?"

"Yeah, I don't mind. Just let me… do some damage control."

Eddie chuckled.

"Sure. Hide your dirty underwear and stuff."

"It's not that bad," he grumbles, disappearing into his bedroom. Whatever he does there doesn’t take long, because soon he's motioning Eddie to follow.

The room is small and simple, focused solely on sleeping and picking out daily outfits.

Steve pats the bed invitingly. It's big enough for two people.

"Does your bed see guests often?" he asks, unable to help himself.

Steve is quiet momentarily, settling on a fluffy ottoman next to him.

"Only Robin. But if you're asking about my dating life, I've been in a bit of a dry spell recently," he shares, starting the relaxing drag of his brush.

"Aw, why? Such a handsome bachelor?"

The man snorted.

"Had been striking out after a bad break up, then focused on opening the salon. I'm trying to get back into it now, but I might be out of practice."

"Well, I might not be the target audience, but for what it's worth, it would work on me."

“What if you are my target audience?”

Eddie gives himself a moment to collect his thoughts and still be able to stay cool.

"Then it’s our second meeting, and I'm already in your bed. I think you're doing great."

Steve chuckles.

"Guess so."

"Speaking of which,” Eddie shifts on the Steve-scented bed. “You know that if you keep at it, I'll fall asleep?”

"That would be terrible. On my queen-sized bed? Unthinkable. Whatever would I do?”

“Okay, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He rolls his eyes before closing them and let the gentle caress on his feathers send him to sleep.

#monsterlovetober2023 #fantasy romance #spooktober #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #wingfolk eddie #stranger things

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diorkyeom · 8 months

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‘✷’ : CHAPTER SEVEN “the seokmin version”

<< prev chapter | ao3 fic | next chapter >>

chapter word count: 5.7k+

chapter warnings: none

summary: "lately, seokmin had come to a realisation. joshua hong, seokmin thought, was a little bit of an enigma." - in which seokmin has known joshua for years, but he's always been a bit of a mystery to him. and as the days go by, he finds himself falling further and further for the enigmatic man, wanting to find out who the real Joshua Hong is behind his polite smiles and warm eyes and sweet words.

notes: every time i post a new chapter it ends up being my new favourite

"I'm leaving right away today," Seokmin declared to the literature office the moment he stepped inside after finishing his last class. "No staying late to do marking for me."

"Good for you," Yuna said drily. "Go away, then. I have fifteen students who handed in work late. And I need to mark it by tomorrow."

Hayoung groaned. "You and me both. But I actually only have three kids, so I'll probably be out in another hour or so."

Minjun stormed into the office at that moment, carrying a stack of papers and huffing. He slammed his papers down on his desk with a loud thump, drawing the attention of all the other teachers.

Yuna blinked, eyes widening at the black, inky mess. "Minjun, is that—"

"The printer," Minjun said, "is broken. Really badly. And the IT department have already fucking left. I'm gonna have to stay behind to fix it, because apparently no one else on this floor is competent enough to do it, and you're all gonna help me."

There was a beat.

"Well, I guess that's my cue to leave," Seokmin chirped, and then beamed brightly, grabbing his bag and backing out of the door. "See you guys tomorrow!"

"Lee Seokmin, you come back here!" Yuna screeched, but the door was already swinging shut, and Seokmin skipped down the hallway with a laugh, on his way to find Joshua.

It had been a few days since their late-night discussion under the streetlamp, and things were still pretty much normal between them.

Seokmin still grinned and chattered and occasionally stumbled over his words, and Joshua still nodded and listened and watched Seokmin with that soft, soft gaze, adding in his own teasing remarks and letting Seokmin ramble as much as he wanted.

Joshua was still the Seokmin version of himself, the version he put on when he and Seokmin bumped into each other at school, or when Seokmin popped over to their house to say hi to Jeonghan, or simply whenever they were in public, in broad daylight. It really must have been hard for him to switch it off, Seokmin mused, but he was okay with that.

Joshua was understandable now. He was still rippling and changing and effervescent, but Seokmin could identify what all the different colours were.

Seokmin thought briefly that maybe Joshua would never cease to be an enigma. That he’d always be confusing and elusive and endlessly pretty, all at once.

It didn't really seem like a bad thing.

He hummed to himself as he walked down the Music corridor, before poking his head into the classroom that Joshua was working in. His eyes widened, and he quietened his steps as he took in the scene before him.

Joshua was sitting at the piano in the corner of the room, a student sitting on the chair beside him, and he was going over chords and playing around with melodies for her. His voice was calm, carrying gently through the empty room as he played a few chords, spreading them out and explaining his process.

"—really, really lovely," he was saying. "Honestly, diminished seventh chords work really well, but maybe you might want to try some ninths? Something that sounds sweet and dramatic, and the arpeggios would work really well for that."

He demonstrated, improvising a melody on top of the accompaniment, and the loveliest, most delicate sound floated through the air, all pale warmth and swirling leisurely through the room, before making its way to Seokmin at the doorway.

Joshua continued to thoughtfully glide his way across the keys, eyes following the movements of his fingers, the music singing under his touch, glass-smooth and pretty and golden, and Seokmin’s eyes were wide as the melody slowly trailed away, resting still and calm under Joshua’s fingertips.

“Something like that?” Joshua suggested to the student next to him, all casual, as if Seokmin’s heart hadn’t started hammering rapidly in his chest from the display of such gorgeous sounds.

The student nodded eagerly, listening intently as Joshua began to explain the overall idea of a piece that she should aim to achieve, and that was when Seokmin decided that maybe he should wait outside of the classroom until he was finished.

Once he was out in the empty corridor, he put a hand to his forehead, sighing.

That was weird. Seokmin didn’t normally start feeling dizzy whenever he listened to Seungkwan practise his musical theatre songs, nor did his heart start racing when Soonyoung showed him the new song he’d made Jihoon compose for him. It was just music, after all. Just his friends belting out notes, sometimes nonsensically, oftentimes obnoxiously. It wasn’t anything special.

But Seokmin thought about Joshua’s eyelashes fluttering as he traced watercolour patterns across the keys, the gentle, pensive expression on his face as the shimmering softness unfolded before the silent room, the way his own heart was still beating abnormally loud in his ears simply at the memory of Joshua playing the piano.

He closed his eyes, fingers finding the strap of his shoulder bag, grasping it tight.

That hadn’t just been music. It had been something far too beautiful for words.

“Seokmin?”

Seokmin’s eyes flew open, and he turned to see Joshua leaving the classroom behind the student, who shouldered her bag and turned back round to give a last quick wave to the music teacher.

“Thanks so much, Mr. Hong! I’ll see you next week!”

Joshua smiled, returning her wave. “See you, Yerin.”

And then the girl was off, speeding out of the Music department, and Joshua turned back to Seokmin, the endeared fondness of his expression changing into something sweeter, fluffier, softer. It made Seokmin smile, in spite of himself, because that smile? That was Joshua’s ‘Seokmin Smile’.

“Shua hyung,” Seokmin greeted, shouldering his bag and pushing up his glasses in one motion, missing the way that Joshua’s eyes brightened at the greeting. “I heard you talking with that girl a few moments ago.”

Joshua hummed, popping back into his classroom for a moment to grab his bag and his coat, before promptly reemerging and walking beside Seokmin down the corridor. “Yerin’s normally very good with her compositions. She just has trouble getting the ideas in her head down onto paper, but once she cracks that, she’ll do really well.”

Seokmin grinned, nudging Joshua with his elbow. “She’ll do even better now that she has you, I just know it. You’re really good, hyung.”

“Aw, thank you,” Joshua said with a chuckle. He pushed open the doors to the Music department, letting Seokmin leave first. “I should hope so, though. I’ve been playing music for several years now. It would be a bit worrying if I wasn’t.”

“You know that wasn’t what I meant,” Seokmin insisted, half-whining, before smiling as Joshua looked up at him, eyes twinkling. “You should play something for us at some point, Shua hyung. Maybe at the next Game Night. It’d be fun!”

Joshua tilted his head, and they finally stepped through the school’s front doors, entering the cool late afternoon air. The slight breeze ruffled Joshua’s hair as he adjusted his coat in his arms, gaze sliding away from Seokmin’s and out into the distance. “You want me to play for all of you?”

Seokmin thought about it for a moment. “Maybe just for me?” he suggested. “If you’re uncomfortable with showing everyone.”

For some reason, his words made Joshua’s posture stiffen before easing a millisecond later, shoulders relaxing as he continued to look forwards, before finally his eyes found their way back to Seokmin’s.

He smiled, irises sparkling in the faint sunlight. “Maybe.”

And then he shook his head, so his hair was no longer in his eyes, bumping against Seokmin lightly with his shoulder.

“I haven’t seen you all day, though. Tell me about your day?”

Seokmin immediately brightened, leaping at the chance to ramble to his Shua hyung, launching into a full, exhaustive run-down of what had happened to him throughout the seven hours in which he’d been at work.

Joshua had gone back into full gentlemanly polite mode again, wearing his pretty, courteous colours once more, all soft cotton candy and not-quite within Seokmin’s grasp. It really did seem to be his daytime default, to infuse one of his personalities into him at all times, but Seokmin could see how they genuinely were always just Joshua too.

He cherished these moments, where it was just the two of them, walking to work or back from work or just randomly bumping into each other at night. It felt special, when no one else was around, when Jeonghan’s rippling gaze was no longer fixed on them, when Soonyoung wasn’t creating the latest distraction just within their line of sight. It was just them.

Just Joshua and Seokmin.

And Seokmin especially cherished those random night visits, where they suddenly spotted each other walking on opposite sides of the road, or where they wordlessly decided to come back to that one bench beside the river that Seokmin had first seen Joshua on his nightly walks. There was something more precious about them, more delicate, vulnerable.

Joshua was more himself, then. He smiled more easily, talked more easily, asked Seokmin questions but also answered them too, straight-on with no elusive dancing around. He was, all in all, much more comfortable when it was just them, and it was something that Seokmin felt almost honoured to witness.

With every nightly meetup, Joshua seemed to relax even more, and for reasons unknown to Seokmin, it made him feel all happy and fluttery inside whenever Joshua’s eyes softened into gold and the cotton facade all but melted away.

───────────── ‘✷,

“I get what you mean,” Seokmin said thoughtfully, pushing up his glasses as he frowned down at his own book, “but I think saying that Achilles was dealing with ‘the everyday gay traumas’ isn’t going to sit well with the examiners.”

The students laughed, and Seokmin smiled, blinking wide-eyed at them.

“Don't get me wrong, I agree wholeheartedly. If you can somehow manage to fit that analysis in with the themes in the Iliad, I'll personally bake you a cake."

There was a clamouring of noise, the students excited by the idea of being able to get sugar.

"Mr. Lee!" one boy called out. "Isn't 'love' one of the themes in the poem? Wouldn’t it be really easy, then?"

Seokmin paused, looked down at his book, and then looked up at them again. "I'll bake you a cake if it makes sense within the context of the essay question," he amended, and then waved his hand. "Okay, okay, shh! Please discuss the passage we just read with your partners. Please don't make me talk about baking cakes. I'm not very good at it."

"Oh, come on, Mr. Lee! That can't be true!"

“My sister once set the oven on fire while baking a cake!”

“Can I bake a cake for you instead, Mr. Lee?”

"Mr. Lee! What's your favourite cake flavour?"

"Please just finish this task," Seokmin begged, half jokingly, tapping his pencil against his copy of the Iliad. "If I talk about cake, I'm gonna want to have some when I leave work."

"Why is that a bad thing, sir?"

A phone alarm went off, and Seokmin looked over at his desk, turning off the alarm, before looking back at the students and snapping his book shut. “Oh, dear, looks like that’s the end of my book study session. You guys have to go home now, without finishing the incredibly riveting extract analysis task I prepared for you.”

There were varying degrees of cheers throughout the room, and Seokmin smiled and shook his head.

“I am, however, going to be setting it as a mini task for you to complete for next week’s session, okay? Because we were meant to do it today, but we had no time.” And then he waved his hand at them, gesturing for them to quickly leave. “Now shoo. Go home and rest. I’ll see you all later.”

There were choruses of “goodbye”s and “thank you”s as the students left, and Seokmin watched them go with a slight fondness on his face.

Hayoung had asked if he’d be willing to start a book study session for the literature students who were in their last year of high school, and of course, Seokmin had been more than eager to say yes. It was a session that included a mixture of his, Hayoung’s and Minjun’s students, since they were the teachers with classes for the older years, and Seokmin had taught all of these students at least once during their time at school. Of course he was going to say yes to giving them study sessions so they could do their best in their upcoming exams.

What could he say? He had a soft spot for memories.

Once the last student had exited the room, Seokmin gave a soft sigh, pushing up his glasses and sat down at his desk, checking his phone, and then tilting his head at the text that flashed up on his screen.

[ jihoon hyung !! ]

your demo sounds incredible by the way

it’s been finalised and everything and the other producer really likes it too

you could seriously have a career in singing if you wanted, seokmin.

Seokmin shook his head, scrunching his nose to prevent his glasses from sliding down. He sent a quick “i’m glad it’s been approved!!” back to Jihoon, but just smiled at the last message, setting down his phone and standing up once again, pushing up his glasses with a finger. Maybe he needed new glasses. These ones weren’t sitting properly.

He hummed to himself as he began to tidy away the room, adjusting chairs and tucking back the curtains, the melody of Jihoon’s new song finding its way inside his head.

‘To You’, the song was called, and Seokmin was certain that it was one of Jihoon’s most heart-wrenchingly beautiful songs to date. Shining, warm, hopeful and romantic, and also utterly wonderful to sing aloud.

The room was entirely empty, and Seokmin’s voice steadily grew louder as he sang along to the melody inside his head, spraying the whiteboard with a cleaning spray and then wiping it down.

In this swirling day

You’ve given me a small piece of happiness

You’ve given me all the smiles of the world in my hands

So even if I run out of breath on a steep road

Even when I lost my path on a cold day

We’re still holding hands with warmth

Seokmin paused then, the main melody echoing around in his brain as he gripped the cleaning spray dramatically as if it were his mic, and belted out the ad-libs and countermelodies, pouring his heart out into the harmonies that, in the safety of the empty classroom, no one would hear but him.

To you, to you

The story I wanted to express

To you, to you

I want to say more things like this

Oh-oh, in this swirling wind on this day

If an eternal love exists

Then that is what you are.

Slowly, dramatically, still basking in the heartfelt afterglow of Jihoon’s incredible new song, Seokmin lowered the cleaning spray and lowered his head, scrunching his nose so that his glasses didn’t slip off.

It was a beautiful song, about loving someone who was understanding, gentle, caring, even when they didn’t say a word. About being loved in the most precious way.

“Seokmin?”

Seokmin flinched sharply at the sudden voice, so suddenly that he squeezed the spray too hard and sprayed himself in the knee. “Oh, shit!”

He whipped around, looking around the classroom to see who had come in and hoping against all hope that they hadn’t heard him singing, only to see—

“Shua hyung?”

Joshua was leaning against the wall at the back of the classroom, smiling. He stepped away from the wall when Seokmin turned around, and his eyes were glowing with something so, so gentle as he walked through the tables to get to where he was standing. “Hello.”

“Um.” Seokmin stood there, awkward, attempting to smile and give a wave. “Hi? How long have you been standing there?”

“Sorry, I came in halfway through,” Joshua said, chuckling a little. “I came here to, you know, walk home with you. And I didn’t want to interrupt your singing session, so I was just kind of standing at the back by the door, waiting for you to finish.”

Seokmin looked down at his hands and then hastily set everything back on the desk, wiping his knee. “Oh. I see.”

“Wait, let me help you with that,” Joshua said, noticing the wet patch and immediately grabbing a few tissues, before kneeling down in front of Seokmin to press the tissues against the spot. “Sorry, I guess I startled you a lot, huh?”

“No, it’s fine, I’m just a scaredy cat. Plus, when I sing I sound really, uh, weird.” Seokmin swallowed, his earlier surprise at Joshua’s sudden appearance now beginning to wear off. But as Joshua looked up at him, eyes caramel gentle in the light of the afternoon, he wondered vaguely why his heart was still beating so fast.

Joshua rose to his feet so he was eye level with Seokmin. “You sounded so pretty,” he said, and he said it so sweetly and so honestly that Seokmin found himself blinking rapidly, cheeks heating up almost instantly. “The song sounded so nice. You have such a beautiful voice, Seokmin.”

There was a definite blush on Seokmin’s face now, the embarrassing kind of blush that went from his ears right down his neck, and also rendered him absolutely incoherent. Joshua was still smiling at him too, damnit, and it made it all the more difficult for him to focus on scrabbling a few syllables together to give a response.

“It’s not mine,” he blurted out, a little too loudly, and Joshua blinked in surprise.

“Not… yours?” Joshua’s brow creased in confusion.

“The song,” Seokmin elaborated, and then scrambled for his phone to unlock it and bring up an audio file. “It’s Jihoon hyung’s. He’s made a new song, and he asked me to record the demo for it.”

Joshua’s eyes widened at that, amazed. “You’re the person that Jihoon asked to sing in his demo? Do you know how incredible that is, Seokmin?”

Seokmin shrugged, bashful. “Not that incredible? It’s just a demo, anyway. Hyung offered to pay me, but I said it’s okay.”

Joshua shook his head. “That’s still amazing. Jihoon never lets people look at his things until they’re finalised.” He looked down at the audio file on Seokmin’s phone, the cover-less ‘To You’ file staring up at him. And then he looked at Seokmin with a small smile. “Could I… listen to it?”

Seokmin stared at Joshua for a long, long moment. Joshua smiled back, and it occurred to Seokmin that the elder was smiling more and more these days, his face becoming more relaxed, his eyes more willing to curve into their pretty little crescents at the things that Seokmin said.

And then he decided, oh, what the hell. If his Shua hyung wanted to listen to it, then Seokmin would let him listen to it.

So he sat down on the floor and beckoned Joshua to sit next to him, and then pressed play.

It was the first recording that he’d done, running straight through after practicing the melody a few times with Jihoon, and his pitch was off in some places and he came in late in others, but Joshua listened intently, eyes fixed on a random spot on the floor as Seokmin’s voice rang out through the speakers of his phone. Seokmin wanted to cringe, wanted to turn off the audio and wrench his phone away because it was embarrassing, especially when it was Joshua listening, but every so often the elder would lift his eyes up to look at him, and his eyes would be so wide and awed that he couldn’t bring himself to do anything else but stare right back.

The recording finally finished, and Joshua sat back, pressing his lips together. Seokmin watched him, anxiously, finding that he really was nervous of what Joshua’s opinion was.

“Pretty,” Joshua said simply, and then his face softened even further as he smiled. “It all sounds so pretty.”

Seokmin blushed again, looking away, pleased. “Really?”

“Yeah! I really love how your voice sounds, and I think this type of song suits it really well,” Joshua said, and Seokmin’s heart swelled with something warm and pink and happy. “I love the song, too. I want to learn the chords so I can play it.”

“Jihoon hyung will be happy to hear that you love his song,” Seokmin said, beaming. “You can ask him for the finalised audio once he manages to get the boy group to record it, if you want. I’m sure he’ll be willing to give it to you.”

Joshua just hummed, tilting his head. “I don't know. I think I like the Seokmin version better.”

“The Seokmin version?” Seokmin repeated, biting his lips to prevent himself from smiling too widely. It sounded… nice, when Joshua said it like that. Like Seokmin’s recording had meaning.

“The Seokmin version,” Joshua confirmed. He nudged Seokmin with his elbow. “Hey, maybe this can be the piece that I play for you one day. Maybe you can sing with me too. How about that?”

Seokmin couldn’t help it. He beamed, the giddy happiness evident all over hstopped biting his lips and beamed, and the giddy happiness was evident all over his face but he couldn’t help it, knew nothing would be able to prevent him from grinning widely, oddly thrilled at the idea of having some sort of singing duet with Joshua.

“I think I’d like that a lot.”

───────────── ‘✷,

“I don’t think I like that. At all,” Seokmin sulked, and Soonyoung sighed.

“Seokmin, you made this demo. Demo. It’s an example piece that’s gonna be heard by loads of people! It’s literally what it’s designed to do. Be heard.” Soonyoung stabbed a finger on the table, and then pointed at Jihoon’s laptop. “Your voice is gonna be heard by so many people, and you’re not gonna know most of them. But that’s what’s meant to happen.”

Seokmin shuddered, displeased, and Jihoon tapped his fingers against his laptop. “I don’t think you’re helping the situation, Soonyoung.”

“But he needs to know!” Soonyoung protested as Jihoon just shook his head.

“Seokmin,” Jihoon started, “You’re willing to let Soonyoung hear it, yes?”

Currently, Jihoon, Soonyoung and Seokmin were sitting at the dining table in the latter two’s apartment, and Jihoon was playing the demo for them all to hear, Soonyoung was talking incredibly loudly and Seokmin was sulking.

He crossed his arms, pouted, and avoided their gaze. “I guess,” Seokmin muttered dejectedly. “Didn’t know that so many other people would hear it too.”

“Seokmin, it’s meant to be heard—”

“We’ll only let the relevant people hear it, obviously,” Jihoon said, talking over Soonyoung. “So that’ll be me, the other producers, Soonyoung, and the idols. Is that okay?”

“Also any other choreographers they bring in—”

“Is that okay?” Jihoon repeated, pointedly ignoring Soonyoung, making the choreographer huff petulantly. The other kept his eyes on Seokmin, however, calm and patient. “We won’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. We won’t show it to anyone, if you don’t want to.”

“Actually, we kind of have to, ‘cause that’s what a demo is for,” Soonyoung said, before Jihoon shot a glare in his direction and he widened his eyes innocently. “What? I’m right!”

Seokmin shook his head, putting his elbows on the table and squishing his cheek against his palm. “I suppose that it’s true,” he said. “I just… I’m still not sure if I was all that good.”

Soonyoung smiled sympathetically. “You have really bad self-esteem issues, Seokmin. Your voice is so, so incredible.”

Instantly, Seokmin’s brain conjured up a memory of Joshua’s earnest smile and that gentle, melodic voice saying “You have such a beautiful voice” all golden and lovely and he blushed, rapidly dispelling the thoughts before they showed on his face.

“But other than the people at the company, we won’t show anyone else,” Jihoon promised, giving Seokmin a small, reassuring smile. “In fact, you don’t have to show anyone else either. No one in our friendship group even has to know.”

“Okay,” Seokmin said, and then smiled a little. It was touching, how sincere Jihoon was being about all of this. And then his eyes widened. “Wait, but if I do tell someone, like, right now, is that okay?”

Jihoon blinked, and then frowned. “Um, technically no, but if it’s someone in our group then we can tell them not to talk about it anywhere.”

“Why do you ask?” Soonyoung added. “Did you show it to someone?”

Seokmin took his elbows off the table, nodding. “Just Shua hyung. He heard me singing, so I showed the recording to him.”

Soonyoung blinked. “Shua hyung?”

“Joshua hyung,” Seokmin said helpfully. “It’s a nickname for him.”

“No, I got that part. It’s just…” Soonyoung trailed off, and he and Jihoon shared a significant look, one that Seokmin couldn’t decipher. “Anyways, that’s okay. Just tell him not to tell anyone else, you know?”

“Moving on, though,” Jihoon said, swiftly changing the subject, a slight twinkle in his irises, “I have another track I’m making right now, Seokmin, and I was wondering…”

“Oh, hell no. One is enough for me. Get Seungkwan to do it!”

───────────── ‘✷,

Seokmin flopped down onto the sofa, breathing out contentedly as he wriggled around amongst the mess of cushions until he was more comfortable.

“Ah, this is so nice.”

“I’m so glad to see you making yourself at home on my sofa,” Jeonghan remarked drily, coming into the room carrying a plate of biscuits. “Also, move over or I’m not giving you any cookies.”

“Cookies!” Immediately, Seokmin shot upright again, zeroing in on the plate as Jeonghan set it on the coffee table, grabbing one and stuffing it into his mouth. Around the mouthful of crumbs, he said, “Thanks, Jeonghan hyung!”

Jeonghan just laughed, selecting his own biscuit and curling up on the sofa. “Of course, Seokmin. I love feeding my cookie-loving gremlin every time he decides to barge into my house and steal all my snacks.” Before Seokmin had a chance to protest at the description, he shoved another biscuit into the teacher’s hands. “Anyways, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“Just ‘cause,” Seokmin said brightly. “Also Soonyoung hyung’s at the studio, and being at home by myself is so boring.”

“I’m being your surrogate roommate, hm?” Jeonghan teased. “Well, you’re in luck, because my housemate has disappeared too. Joshuji’s at church, so it’s just only lonely me, all by myself.”

“Not anymore, though!” Seokmin chirped, and then threw himself into Jeonghan’s personal space, cuddling up against his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jeonghan hyung! Seokminnie is here!”

Jeonghan laughed and let Seokmin squish himself into his side. “Lucky me.”

There was a short silence then, as Seokmin squashed himself as close to Jeonghan as possible, and Jeonghan focused on nibbling his way through his biscuit. It was a lazy day, a calm day, but Seokmin’s thoughts were running, racing through conversation threads even as Jeonghan seemed content to just sit in silence for hours until Seokmin decided to go home.

But Seokmin couldn’t go home without at least trying to talk Jeonghan’s ear off.

“I’m gonna set my seniors an essay on the Iliad next week,” he said suddenly, his brain latching onto any old thought thread it could find and running with it.

Jeonghan laughed. “Your students are going to love you for that.”

“They will!” Seokmin insisted, pulling away from Jeonghan’s side to sit up properly. “It’s on the theme of ‘love’. They’re all obsessed with that theme in this book. Which is weird,” he added thoughtfully, “because I thought that they’d be more interested in the war and the anger and the moral struggles in it.”

Jeonghan shrugged, leaning back and gesturing dramatically with his half-eaten cookie. “What is love if not the biggest moral struggle of all?”

Seokmin laughed, flopping back down so his head was resting on the armrest, nestled amongst the cushions once more. “You’re right, though. Especially with Aphrodite being the main cause of the Trojan War. She’s basically the reason behind all their problems.”

“Really?” Jeonghan said. “And I thought the goddess of love was meant to be kind.”

“Kind?” Seokmin repeated. “She’s horrible. Unpredictable. Definitely an inconvenience, and mostly a nuisance.” He paused, and then continued, “But that’s what love is, I guess. You can’t pin down love. Sometimes it’s beautiful, and other times it’s painful, almost heart-wrenchingly so, and you can never be prepared for it.”

Jeonghan watched Seokmin talk, an almost parental fondness colouring his gaze, like a mother watching her child explain something they were incredibly passionate about.

“Love is often confusing, too,” Seokmin said. He wasn’t looking at Jeonghan anymore, directing most of his thoughtful musings to the ceiling, hands waving around. “And can be confused. With desire, lust, anger, hatred. There’s a very fine line, you know?” He lifted his head up to look at Jeonghan. “Maybe that’s why love and war are such prominent themes in the poem.”

Jeonghan just smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah! Loving brings a desire for safety, for comfort, and sometimes, people can be so desperately in love that they’ll do anything to have that comfort,” Seokmin said. “And other times—well, most of the time—people are willing to be soft for that love. They turn soft, craving that gentleness and reflecting it in the way they act around the person they most want to be loved by. And if that person disappears… well, then you harden your heart, and find you don’t want to love anyone ever again.” Seokmin clasped his hands together. “That’s what Achilles does, by the way.”

“Wow. That’s so fascinating,” Jeonghan said, nibbling at his cookie again. “Tell me more.”

And Seokmin did. It was nice, to analyse aloud, but also to analyse aloud with Jeonghan. The elder didn’t provide much to the conversation, simply sitting there and smiling and asking Seokmin to tell him more, but it was nice.

It made his thoughts drift to Joshua, just momentarily. Thinking of how Joshua would have listened to him talk. Of how Joshua’s eyes would have followed his every move, how he would have smiled and hummed interestedly and let Seokmin talk, and talk, and talk, and talk.

An hour later, Seokmin was still talking, and as Jeonghan continued to blink unmovingly at him, he wondered whether the elder had managed to fall asleep with his eyes open.

“—so I think it’s only logical that Seungcheol hyung is Zeus,” Seokmin finished. “Jupiter. He’s a scary, scary guy, but also everyone loves him and knows about him ‘cause he’s so huge.”

Then Jeonghan’s head turned. “Okay, are you talking about the god or the planet here?” he asked. Definitely not sleeping, then, Seokmin concluded, pleased. That meant his entire rant about which god each of their friends were hadn’t gone unheard.

“Both,” Seokmin said cheerfully. “Seungcheol hyung is both the planet Jupiter and the god!”

Jeonghan chuckled, leaning back. “If you say so.” He pursed his lips, thinking, and then tapped Seokmin on the knee. “You’re the sun god for sure, though.”

“Who, me?” Seokmin tilted his head, and then beamed. “Aw, thanks hyung. Also, did you know that Apollo is the only god of the classic pantheon to have the same name in both Greek and Roman mythology?”

Jeonghan smiled. “I don’t know what that means. I do know, however,” he added, “that you’re as bright and lovely as the sun, and fill up the entire room with light the moment you walk inside. Everyone gravitates towards you, attracted by your energy, and people always love being with you.”

Seokmin blinked, not expecting such a sudden onslaught of compliments from Jeonghan. “Really? You really think so?”

“Of course.” Jeonghan’s smile turned a little knowing, a little devious, eyes glittering like ripple waves on a lake. “And you know what you said about love before? I think the Sun would want a gentle love. Where someone softens themselves in the Sun’s presence.”

Seokmin hummed contemplatively, sitting up. “A gentle love? Who’d love the Sun like that, though?”

“A Venus,” Jeonghan said, smiling wider. “I think the Sun would be best loved by a Venus.”

That made Seokmin pause, frowning thoughtfully, before a slow smile spread across his face. “I like your thinking, hyung! I guess you really were listening to me while I was talking, huh? I’m impressed.”

Jeonghan pointedly ignored the jab, and simply shrugged. “The Sun would love Venus very much, too,” he said. “And the Venus would love you as easily as breathing. Because Venus is basically the god of love, right? They’d love you a lot.”

Seokmin blinked once, and then twice, before his eyes widened. “Wait, are you still talking about me? I thought you were doing general analysis!”

“I’m talking about anything you want me to talk about,” Jeonghan returned, adjusting himself on the sofa. His ass was starting to hurt from sitting in the same position for too long. “But I think the Sun would dote on the Venus and think they’re incredible, and the Venus would love the Sun immensely and devastatingly gently.”

Seokmin’s face was contemplative for a moment, thinking over Jeonghan’s words. Jeonghan could almost see him trying to figure out what was going on, what Jeonghan meant, where all this was going. Eventually, though, he seemed to give up, his gaze becoming unfocused and the corners of his lips turning wistful as he wondered.

Jeonghan wondered who Seokmin was thinking about.

“Do you really think so?” Seokmin asked, turning to Jeonghan, and his eyes were wide, voice hushed, like he couldn’t even believe it.

At that moment, the front door opened, and there were a few moments of rustling sounds before Joshua peered into the living room, back home from visiting the church, and Jeonghan watched as Joshua’s eyes softened almost instantly and Seokmin’s entire being lit up as they made eye contact, and he smiled to himself.

“Yeah,” he said, but no one was listening to him anymore. Joshua and Seokmin were already in their own world, as Seokmin leapt from the sofa to bound over and ask the elder about his day. Jeonghan just smiled even wider. “I do think so.”

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drabbles-mc · 11 months

Text

Unprofessional

Walt Breslin x F!Reader

For Day 10 of @narcosfandomdiscord's July Smut Alphabet: jealousy

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, alcohol, smut

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: The way that I had to fight myself to not let this turn into a 10k fic 😂 I'm already in love with this reader and the general vibe of this fic and idkidk maybe I'll write more for them down the road. Who knows? Not me!

NMX Taglist: @narcolini @ashlingnarcos @hausofmamadas @garbinge @cositapreciosa @southotheborder @artemiseamoon @proceduralpassion (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Walt watched as Sal’s car rolled up to the motel that you and Walt were staying at. He was glad that you at least let someone else bring you home, because based off how you were when he’d left the bar a little more than an hour before, you probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. It was usually him that was driving you to and from wherever you had to go, or vice versa on days when Walt didn’t want to put up a fight about it. Judging by the way you were laughing as you opened the door and stepped out of Sal’s car, you didn’t seem to mind the switch up.

He watched you as you leaned on the edge of the window, smiling and laughing still as you thanked Sal and told him that you’d see him tomorrow. Walt caught the way the man waved to him as well, and he returned the gesture from his chair. It was your chair, actually. It’d come out of your room. You set it up in the little stretch of space between the door to your motel room, and the door to Walt’s. You’d be sitting there with your coffee in the morning, and Walt would sometimes be out there in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep, dragging on his cigarettes, not unlike he was now.

You were practically sauntering up to him, the headlights of Sal’s car behind you rendering you as nothing more than a silhouette in the few seconds before he turned around and peeled out the lot to head back to his own spot.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a smile, “you left early.”

He shrugged, noncommittal. “Yea.”

You still felt like you were buzzing, warm more from the alcohol than the actual temperature. Still, even in your slight haze, you could see the annoyance on Walt’s face. “You okay?”

He gave a short nod, his tone and his words not lining up in the slightest as he said, “I’m fine.”

You were in no mood to try and pull it out of him, and even if you were, you didn’t know if you would be anything close to successful. So instead, you swiped the pack of cigarettes off the arm of the chair he was sitting in and took one out for yourself. The two of you were in a constant loop of bumming them off each other—neither of you bothered asking anymore.

“You know,” you spoke as well as you could with your lips wrapped around the cigarette—you sparked the lighter before continuing, “I know shit has been real rough lately, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever have a good time.”

Walt shook his head, like you were saying the most ridiculous thing in the world. “Looked like you were all having a good enough—”

“Would’ve been nice if you were there, though,” you cut him off, smoke swirling out from between your lips as you spoke. “Couldn’t take, what, three hours out of the twenty-four to not be all broody?” you said, just enough of a smile on your face to keep that question from starting a full-blown argument. Walt gave you another shake of his head and it only caused you to double-down. “We missed you.”

He scoffed. “Didn’t seem like you were missing much of anything when I left.”

You burst out laughing at that. “I’m sorry?”

“No, I’m just,” he took a drag off his cigarette, “just surprised that Sal brought you back. Looked like you were gonna be goin’ home with your new friend there at the bar.”

You rolled your eyes at him, laughing as you tapped the ash off the end of your smoke. “You think I’m that easy, Breslin?”

He frowned slightly as he shrugged, an expression that was less about being upset and more about being uncertain. “I don’t know what I think about you.”

The statement was a little bit of a lie. Walt thought about you plenty. Some of it had to do with work, a lot of it didn’t. He’d had plenty of time to think about you since he met you, but there was still a lot that he didn’t know. Like how suave and flirty you could be when you were trying to get a free drink or two out of someone, like how watching you do that put a knot in his gut that had no right to be there.

It was the first time the two of you had ever worked together. Before you all got pulled together into the Smash & Grab that you now were, Walt was working in El Paso while you came over from Miami. Neither of you had known each other prior to this, and while you noticed that Walt seemed to have built a rapport with a few of the other men on his team, you were flying in completely blind. You didn’t know anyone. Walt quickly noticed, however, that that didn’t seem to slow you down. You quickly made it part of your job to get to know everyone at least a little bit, just enough to figure out how you should interact with them for the sake of not letting the team fray apart at the edges. It was a good skill, one Walt made a mental note to work on if you all made it out of this mess alive.

All of you had your own rooms, scattered across a few different low-budget motels. You were all smart enough to not all hole up in the same place together, but no one wanted to be completely alone. There was a fine line between having safety in numbers, and making yourselves easy targets to get wiped out in one fell swoop.

Your rooms weren’t adjoining, but you and Walt did share a wall. The walls were thin enough for him to hear the muffled sounds of your television, or for you to hear him if he was on the phone with someone, but you’d have to have your ear pinned tight to the wall if you wanted to make out the exact words on the other side.

He felt like he’d learned a fair bit about you in the relatively short span of time that he was your neighbor, one flimsy wall away from being your roommate. You were always up early, but went to bed late. He only had the latter part of that down for himself—he’d never mastered being a morning person. He’d step outside to have his first cigarette of the morning and you would already be up, coffee in one hand and a manila folder packed with information in the other. But there were still too many blanks for him to have any right feeling the way he felt about you.

“Hey,” you said with a quiet laugh as you tapped the side of his boot with yours, “Earth to Breslin.” You waited for him to look over at you. “Are we good?”

He shrugged, nodding. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know,” you said as you took an inhale from your cigarette, the warmth from your liquor at the bar fading for the moment as you tried to figure out why it felt like things were suddenly off-kilter between the two of you. “You took off, and now you’re acting different. So…are we good?”

“You just,” he looked everywhere but at you, knowing that he was digging himself into a hole that was going to be a bitch to try and get out of, “you gotta be careful.”

“About what?”

“About all of it!” He dropped his cigarette to the ground and put it out with the ball of his foot. “You can’t trust anyone we—”

“The guy bought me a drink, Walt,” you cut him off, unable to believe that this was the conversation the two of you were having. “I wasn’t telling him trade secrets. Fuck, I didn’t even give him my real name. As far as he knows,” you gestured to where Sal had been a few minutes before, “Sal is my fuckin’ boyfriend.”

Leaning back in the chair, he finally looked at you. “Alright.”

You shook your head. “Alright.” You paused for a beat. “You know, maybe you should’ve stayed for an extra drink or two. Maybe you could loosen up for all of two minutes.”

He didn’t want to keep arguing with you. Really, that was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Even so, it took more effort than it should’ve for him to finally say, “Maybe.”

You weren’t really looking for an argument either. You’d left the bar in a perfectly chipper mood and the last thing you wanted was for it all to fizzle out now. You hadn’t expected to come back to this. Walt always had that edge to him, an overtone of sourness, but this felt different.

“There something we should talk about?” you asked.

Of course there was. There were plenty of things that he should talk to you about. But he wasn’t going to start those conversations, didn’t really know how to. Instead, he pushed up out of his chair, standing up so that the two of you were hardly a step away from each other.

“Shit’s different down here,” he finally said. “So just, just be careful.”

“It’s a little late in the game to have doubts about me now,” you told him. “If you have issues with what I did, how I operate, then you shouldn’t have brought me all the way—”

“It’s not that,” he cut you off. He could tell by the look on your face that you wanted to snap and say, “Then what the fuck is it?” but he didn’t know if he was ready to get into all of that. It definitely didn’t feel like the right time now. “I just…don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He knew that the statement was skating too close to the complete truth, so he tried to cushion it with, “All you guys, you’re my responsibility. I don’t want shit going south if we can prevent it.”

“Can you be less of a pain in the ass about it?” you asked, the smallest hint of lightness returning to your tone.

He let out a weary chuckle. “I can try.”

You waited for him to have something else to say, but when it didn’t seem like he was going to, you prodded. “Anything else?”

He opened his mouth to say something, but then he backpedaled on it. “No.”

You had the nagging feeling that the conversation wasn’t done, but you didn’t know how to continue it without letting it devolve into another argument. Putting out your cigarette, you gestured to your room. “Drink? Since you bailed early.”

Walt knew that he shouldn’t go, that he should just turn and head back into his own room. But he felt like he owed you this. It was the best he could do for an apology without having to actually apologize.

“So,” he sat on the edge of one of the two beds in your room, the one that didn’t seem like you slept on it every night, “what’d you tell him?”

“Hm?” you asked as you poured liquor from the bottle in your bag into two paper cups. It wasn’t as nice as drinks at the bar, but Walt lost that opportunity quite a while ago.

“Said you didn’t tell the guy your real name. What’d you tell him?” He was as curious as he was jealous. It was a side of you he’d never seen before and he wondered if any of it was genuine.

You laughed as you handed him one of the cups, taking a seat on the end of the bed next to him. “I’ve got a whole rolodex of lines I give people in bars,” you took a sip of your drink, “especially when I’m working.”

He chuckled at the mental image of that, just cards upon cards flipping through in your brain whenever someone approached you and offered to buy you a drink. “Yea?”

“Yea. Why? Looking for some pointers?” you asked as you nudged his shoulder with yours.

“No, no.”

“Sounds like you might be,” you joked. “Should’ve stuck around and seen it for yourself.”

“I saw plenty,” he mumbled out without thinking better of it.

The statement didn’t give you pause so much as the way he said it. Turning to face him, you asked, “What was that?”

He shook his head, a little too quick to be casual. “Nothing.”

The fresh wave of warmth washing over you from the drink you’d been sipping on didn’t slow down the turning of the gears in your brain. “Is…is that why you—”

“No,” he cut you off, already knowing where the sentence was going and not wanting it to go there.”

Your eyes widened for a moment. “All that shit about me being careful,” you shook your head, “and you’ve been sulking here this whole time because you were jealous?”

“Don’t fuckin’ say it like that,” he told you, unable to look you in the eyes.

Leaning back, you braced the palm of your empty hand against the mattress. “Then look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong.” The silence that passed spoke volumes, as did the fact that Walt’s eyes stayed glued to the cup in his hands. “You could’ve offered to buy me a drink,” you said, shifting your tone a little bit, softening the conversation just slightly.

Walt rolled his eyes, not liking the fact that this was all starting to feel a lot like pity. “It’s not,” he sighed, bringing one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “just forget it.”

“No,” you said with a laugh, “I won’t.”

Finally, he turned and looked at you. “I have never seen you act like that with anyone before.”

You chuckled. “Yea, well, that’s because they say it’s usually bad form to flirt with your coworkers. Bedroom eyes are unprofessional, apparently.”

That got a choked laugh out of him. “Apparently.”

“I like you, Walt,” you said.

His eyes widened for a moment as he registered what you’d just said. “Yea?”

You laughed, nodding. “Yea. When you’re not pouting quite so much, I like being around you. I’m, you know,” you gestured to the wall behind you, behind the headboards, “I’m glad I share a wall with you.”

His eyes dropped back to the floor. “It’d be stupid to do something, right?”

You shrugged, finishing off your drink. “Yea. But, I mean,” you laughed softly, “it’s also kinda stupid to get jealous over some random guy in a bar buying me a drink sooo…” your voice trailed off.

Walt sighed, letting his head drop back so that he was looking up at the ceiling. No matter what did or didn’t happen next, he knew that he wasn’t ever going to live that down. “Right.”

He followed your lead, finishing off his drink as well. You could see it in his body language that he was about to get up and leave, take the few short steps that would get him back to his room on the other side of the wall. You didn’t want him to go.

Clearing your throat, you said, “Walt?”

He looked over at you, and only got half a syllable out of whatever his response was going to be before you leaned in and brought your lips to his. You felt the way he froze for a moment, a brief hesitation that almost had you pulling away and apologizing. You two had just finished saying it would be a stupid idea.

But then Walt’s brain caught up with the rest of him and he was kissing you back. Empty paper cups fell almost silently to the floor as you brought the hand that wasn’t helping you keep your balance to his chest, fingers curling into the cloth of his flannel and pulling him towards you even more. Walt had one hand on your thigh, the other barely grazing the side of your face, like he was afraid to commit to holding it.

If the circumstances had been different, maybe you would’ve taken your time. Knowing that Walt had been stewing on those feelings for however long would’ve made you a little more patient. But every second since you crossed the border had felt borrowed, and you didn’t want to waste a single one. So you quickly maneuvered yourself, swinging one leg over him so that you were sitting, straddling his lap.

You ran both hands up Walt’s chest, and despite the fact that he still had on his flannel and his t-shirt, he still let out a, “Fuck,” under his breath as your palms and fingers raked over him. His hands settled on your hips as you kissed him again. All either of you could taste off each other was liquor and cigarettes, but at least it was honest.

Your hands gripped onto his shoulders as you began to grind your hips against his. He moaned into your mouth as he kissed you, hands sliding from your hips to your ass. Whatever hesitation he’d felt before was long gone now, along with the annoyances the two of you had been volleying back and forth since you got back.

You pulled away just enough so that you could pull your shirt off over your head. Walt was left slack jawed for a moment, taking in the sight of you on his lap with nothing on but your bra and jeans. When the gears finally started turning again, he ran through all the buttons on his shirt faster than you’ve ever seen anyone ever do it before. Within seconds, both his shirts were discarded onto the floor alongside yours.

His hands came to rest on your sides, gentle at first, like he was still wrapping his mind around the fact that he got to touch you like this. Then he gripped onto you with a little more force, bringing you back in so he could kiss you again. His arms wrapped around you, hands splaying across your back. Every motion was punctuated with blunt fingernails and rough callouses, the sensation of it making you put a little more urgency in your movements as your hips moved against his.

Letting his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips, he spoke, words coming out muffled against your mouth but you could make them out well enough as he said, “C’mere.”

Deceptively strong in a way that caught you off-guard, Walt had you on your back on the mattress, himself positioned between your legs and hovering over your chest. He kissed you on the lips one more time before pulling away from you. He pulled away just enough so that he could undo the button and zipper of your jeans. You quickly toed off your boots, making it easier for Walt to pull your pants and underwear down your legs and completely off you. You shimmied a little farther up the bed as he rid himself of the last of his clothing as well.

Then he was right back on top of you, one hand cupping your face, one hand gripping onto your thigh. You didn’t let him pull his lips back off of yours, desperate for just a little more. Sliding one hand down between your bodies, you wrapped it around him. The contact immediately caused him to moan, made him buck into your hand even though you hadn’t started moving it yet.

Smiling into the kiss, you brought your other hand up, lacing your fingers through his hair and gripping, tugging just slightly as your other hand started to slowly move up and down his length. He muttered curses against your lips as he brought the hand that was on your thigh between your legs, pulling sounds out of you that he hadn’t even dared to daydream about.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you lined him up at your entrance. You let him feel how wet you already were, dragging the head of him up and down your slit. His hand was balled into a tight fist on the sheets beside your head, trying to have a modicum of self-control. You saw how hard he was fighting to keep it together, and you almost wanted to have something slick to say, but more than that you just wanted him inside you, so you guided him in and he had no hesitation about thrusting the rest of the way into you.

All the stress, the anger, the weight of the world that Walt always made himself carry around on his own shoulders, it all seemed to disappear for a moment. You wondered if it was because he finally found a good enough distraction, or if it was because he could channel all that anger with the world into the thrust of his hips. Maybe things just seemed a little less hopeless when he had you saying his name against the shell of his ear, asking for more.

You made it so easy for him to not have to think about anything but you. Every single part of you felt like it was there for him in that moment, and that feeling alone almost had him seeing stars right off the rip.

He could hear it in your voice, the way you gasped and whined, that you were close. Your nails raked down the side of his face, over the stubble that was getting longer by the day, searching for any kind of tether to hold onto. Your nails left a series of crescents behind, digging into his shoulder and back as you came, your hips desperately bucking up against his. He followed shortly after, reveling in the feel of you, in knowing that he was able to get you like this. He kissed you hard as he came inside you, rough enough to put a little pain in with all of the pleasure.

When the two of you finally pulled apart, you slipped beneath the thin sheet and blanket on top of the bed. Up until now it’d been perfectly made the entire time you’d been staying there. You watched Walt as he swiped his underwear off the floor, pulling them on before grabbing yours as well. He held them out slightly, a wordless question, and you couldn’t help but to laugh as you nodded and let him toss them to you.

You saw the flicker of apprehension on his face, like he was trying to figure out whether or not he should be putting the rest of his clothes back on too. “You can stay,” you told him with a nod, propping the side of your face in your hand. “No point in leaving just to be on the other side of the wall.”

He visibly relaxed at that, relief coursing through him. “Right.”

He climbed in on the other side of the bed, laying close but still leaving a bit of a gap between you. He didn’t know what was supposed to happen now, what the protocol was supposed to be. None of this had been in his plans.

Rolling over, you swiped your pack of cigarettes and your lighter off the night stand that was between the two beds. You held the pack out to him, offering him one. He took one, of course, and since you were the one with the lighter in your hand, he even let you light it for him before you grabbed one for yourself and sparked it up.

He watched as you laid on the bed beside him, staring up at the ceiling as you blew smoke rings. You looked so pleased with yourself, bedsheet pulled up over your chest as you watched the smoke rise and then disappear.

“That your party trick?” he asked.

You laughed, turning your head to look over at him. “Hardly. My last partner, the one I had before I came down here, he taught me how to do it.” You took another drag off your cigarette, puffing out another ring for emphasis. “Too many hours cooped up in a shitty car on stakeouts with nothing better to do.”

He chuckled. “Oh yea?”

“Don’t worry,” you looked over at him with an amused glint in your eyes, “I wasn’t doing this on stakeouts.”

“I didn’t say—”

“You would’ve thought of it later and never let it go,” you cut him off, giving a small dismissive wave of your hand, painting a swirl with the smoke coming off your cigarette as you did.

There was more to be said, you were sure of it. There were discussions to be had, probably boundaries to be laid out. But you didn’t want to get into all of that in the moment. It was good. Things felt good and easy after weeks of everything feeling anything but good and easy. Judging by the look on Walt’s face, he was having very similar thoughts. So you both finished your cigarettes in silence. Walt leaned, reaching over you to drop it into the ashtray. On the way back, he stopped, letting his arm drape across you for a moment. The look on his face was one of asking for permission, like he needed to know that this little bit of softness was okay after everything that had happened.

You just smiled before reaching and turning off the lamp, sending the room into darkness. Rolling onto your side so that your back was to Walt, you gently grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm around you. He slid up behind you so that his chest was pressed to your back, keeping the two of you close. This would do for now. Everything else could at least wait until morning.

#nffalphabet #jealousy #narcos mexico fanfiction #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico #nmx #walt breslin #walt breslin x reader #walt breslin x you #x reader #x reader fic #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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helenazbmrskai · 2 years

Note

hii! so glad to hear the requests are open :D

for me, i really want something super angsty! [kim taehyung x reader] perhaps taehyung starts dating the oc out of pity since she had a crush on him for pretty long and she is a heart/ cancer/ (any disease of your choice haha) patient. obviously she gets to know about him dating her just for pity and then he accidentally (or maybe not accidentally—) says something mean 💀🤡

oh, can i give myself an emoji? well, this would be it : 🌸

thank you 💗💗

Pairing (Taehyung x Reader)

Genre (Angst, Brother's best friend AU, Sick/Hospital/Patient AU, Breakup AU)

Summary (You overhear him talking with his ex on his phone admitting that he never loved you and you decide to break up with him.)

Warnings (angst, crying, taehyung realises too late that he loves her, breakup, mention of surgery, sick!reader, mean taehyung but he regrets it, sad reader)

Word Count (2,6k)

Author note. Thank you for requesting lovely 🌸 anon! I hope you will like this!

"You know I can't do that. We talked about it before, she's sick and I promised her brother that I'll stay by her side. I can't just break up with her for you."

Your fist clenches to stop your hand from shaking. One hand is up in the air ready to knock before you heard him speak to someone on the phone the other is laying lifelessly on the doorknob. No longer feel the desire to open it.

Maybe- maybe you heard it wrong.

"Of course, I don't love her don't be ridiculous Jezi. There's no reason for you to be jealous. I'm only with her until she recovers then I'll dump her and we could get back together I promise."

Right, Jezi. You remember her. His ex. You had no idea they were talking behind your back.

Deep down you already knew that the sweet side he has been showing you for the last month was nothing but an act. You're recovering fine you might get discharged tomorrow after being confined in your hospital room for weeks after countless checkups and examinations, that's what the doctors said. You were so happy to finally go on your first real date with him - to see him somewhere else not just between the four walls of the hospital. Well fuck. You were so naive to think that.

Everything started that night. You thought you might never wake up after your heart transplant surgery so you confessed to Taehyung, to your brother's best friend that you like him. You had no idea he accepted your feelings only out of pity or- maybe he wasn't so sure that you will survive either to live the consequences of his actions but here you are. Standing between two lovers. Your new heart is broken. So pathetic. You feel like a complete fool.

Realising that all he did was act around you is more hurtful than his rejection would have been.

After the sadness washed over you the only thing left is angry waves. Sour hot shearing anger. The only thing you're not sure of is what you're angry at. Taehyung? Your brother Jungkook for putting his best friend up to accepting your confession? The world for being this cruel to you?

You get back to your senses when you hear him wrap up his conversation. The way he says I love you before he says goodbye is like a knife twisting in your heart.

You run back to your room the feeling of nausea hits you as you exert yourself when you shouldn't have. The nurse scolds you for being so careless but her expression changes to sympathy when she realises that you're crying.

You're grateful that she doesn't asks questions and nods when you tell her not to let anyone into your room. You couldn't bear the thought of seeing Taehyung so soon after you heard him talk about you like that.

You're sure he doesn't think you can hear him through the door as he talks to the nurse with indifference he doesn't bother asking about your condition or why you suddenly don't want to see anyone and just leaves. What else do you need as proof that he doesn't care about you? You got your answer. He's probably going to see Jezi. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth. That's why you don't tell anyone that you get discharged tomorrow. You call a taxi to bring you home.

At the normal time around twelve that they would visit you, you get a phone call first from Taehyung but when you don't answer your brother's name appears on your silenced phone screen. They're probably together as Taehyung wouldn't bother to call you otherwise if it's not for keeping up appearances you remind yourself. You hate yourself as your heart still skips a beat when you see his name.

You're not too surprised when they show up at your doorstep. The hospital probably told them that you're no longer there. Knowing your brother he will not leave until he sees so you open the door and face the both of them.

"You should have called us! We were so worried about you. Why did you just leave without telling anyone?" You sigh in your brother's arms it's calming until your eyes catch dark ones. Taehyung is watching you with curious eyes as you guys hug and you hold onto your brother tightly. Normally you're like an open book but today your expression is uncharacteristically blank.

"I wouldn't want to bother you. I managed just fine." Your tone is defensive. There are no traces of warmth in your expression and your eyes are stone cold. Both Taehyung and Jungkook watch you with big eyes it's not like you to lash out.

"A-Are you alright? You seem to be in a bad mood. Are you in pain?" Jungkook immediately fusses over you and you step back instead of accepting it as you would normally do. You're too tired to do this.

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself and I don't want anyone's pity. I'm tired so please leave."

You retreat back to your room without seeing them out you figure they will get your message and leave.

They will probably think that you're in a bad mood and it's better to wait until you calmed down. You listen for the front door and when you hear it close you let out a tired sigh. You can't believe Taehyung had the audacity to seem worried when all he did the last month was play with your feelings. You could tell your brother about what you heard. You know he would at least punch him and it would be so satisfying to watch but you're not a person who would do that. Their friendship has nothing to do with you and you don't want them to fight because of you.

You were so lost in your head that you didn't hear the faint sound coming from the tv in the living room.

Taehyung is sitting on your couch when you go out to get a glass of water and your eyes meet. He could probably see the question in your eyes because he offers you an answer.

"Your brother told me to make sure you're ok."

Of course, he did. He wouldn't be here willingly. You were stupid for thinking that he might have been truly worried about your previous outburst.

"And I told you to leave Taehyung. I'm fine I just want to be left alone." Because you immediately turn away to continue your path to the kitchen you couldn't see how Taehyung's brows furrow in silent frustration. He follows after you the boy obviously getting fed up with your passive-aggressive comments. You never spoke to him like this ever before. You're always so sweet to him so why are you being a bitch now? Does your new heart belong to an ice queen before they give it to you or something? You refuse to look at him even when you feel his presence loom over you as you make yourself some tea.

Taehyung is speechless when you don't even offer him some and just turn to leave to probably go back to your room but he doesn't let you.

"What is your problem Y/N? I'm here to make sure you're ok if anything you should be thankful that your boyfriend is here to take care of you. Why are you making a scene?" You don't hold back the scoff that comes out naturally. Taehyung is even more confused to see pure fury behind your orbs. He never saw you angry. Not at him at least. You try to pull your wrist out of his hold but he doesn't relent. He pushes you against the kitchen door with both hands planted on the wood on either side of your face. Your stupid heart betrays you. Even your new heart is still beating for him.

Taehyung growls in displeasure when you look to the side avoiding his gaze again. What did he do that you don't even want to look at him? He's doing you a favour by dating you, you should be thankful for him that he gives you any time of day.

"Look at me." You don't. That's when he puts a finger under your chin to make you but you still resist.

"Y/N. I. Said. Look at me!" You do look at him with fire. Your heated gaze renders him speechless. His anger evaporates when he finally recognises your emotions. Anger. Disappointment. Sadness.

Now he's the one who can't bear to look at you looking at him like that. He denies every feeling that you made him feel this past month. He keeps telling himself that he doesn't feel the tug of a smile when he sees you laugh. He kept comparing you to Jezi. First, he would think about how much prettier and taller she is. You're average and short, her hair is longer too he likes long hair rather than short. Why is his heart beating so fast when he's this close to you then?

You're clingy. Annoying with your gifts and constant questions about what he likes.

Why seeing your sad eyes makes his heart throb painfully in his ribcage? What did you do to him? When he was talking to Jezi on the phone he couldn't deny anymore how hard it was to say I love you to her and seem like he meant it when he would rather be meant it for you.

"Let's break up."

Taehyung catches your tears with his thumb. Frustrated and confused. He can't put a finger on why you're acting so strange all of a sudden. Break up? Why would you want to break up with him? You love him! He knows you do. So why?

"No." It slips out before he would think about it but doesn't take it back. His head is swarmed by thoughts. Is it someone else? Do you like someone else now? Why? Why? Why?!

"Taehyung." You catch his wrist stopping him from touching your cheeks anymore.

"I'm not Taehyung! Why are you keep calling me that!" You're surprised by his sudden outburst.

"It's your name." You say dumbly. You don't understand. Too stunned to stop him - your eyes widen when he forcibly kisses you. Your mouth is open and he tries to push his tongue into your mouth deepening the kiss but you get back to your senses.

"Tae, Taehyungie you never call me Taehyung, why are you calling me Taehyung?" He answers when you push at his shoulders. Him kissing you never felt so painful before as you know the truth now. He's getting desperate as you keep pushing him away.

"Stop! Please stop. How long are you planning on torturing me? Why are you hurting me?" You cry harder and Taehyung's stunned. He stops pushing and you break free from his hold this time.

"I know everything Taehyung. I know about Jezi. I know that you started dating me out of pity. I know my brother talked you into this- I hope you were having fun making me fall in love with you. You win. You fucking win Kim Taehyung you successfully broke my heart. I hope it was worth it for you."

No! This can't be happening. No. No. No. NO. You can't leave just like that. He needs to- He needs...

"Get out. I don't want to see you anymore." Your words are coming out as barely a whisper but Taehyung hears them. He never realised he started crying as well.

"D-Don't leave, please! I'll e-explain everything! Please Y/N just give me-" Another chance? What's the point of that? You can't find it in yourself to care even when you see Taehyung on his knees in front of you.

"Goodbye Taehyung." Painful words. Taehyung deserves them. It was too late when he realised things.

You're short. But you're the perfect height to rest his chin on top of your hair. You listen to his words and remember them. Jezi doesn't even remember the day he was born yet you know everything about him. He knows so little of you though.

The apartment is cold you're not coming over anymore. Before you broke up with him, the house was spotless you did everything for him. Cooked him meals did his laundry you were more like a housemaid than a girlfriend. He regrets treating you like that.

He regrets the words you overheard when he was talking on the phone. Jungkook is the only one who comes to check up on him. He only knows that you broke up with Taehyung and doesn't say anything else and he feels guiltier as his friend tries to help him feel better. It was all his fault. He made you cry. Made you feel worthless. A charity case. It doesn't help lessen the guilt when he finally cut ties with Jezi. He wants you back but you're not answering your phone. Taehyung doesn't dare go to your house, he's unworthy of your forgiveness. Nonetheless, that's all he will ever want. Not just for you to forgive him but to take him back. Date him for real this time. He would give his whole arm to just see you smile at him and hold his hand. He tainted every good memory you two had since he was pretending.

*1 month later* (read after the cut if you want a hopeful ending)

"You'll have to leave the house eventually." Taehyung ignores Jungkook completely. He has no intention of going to that party he was talking about. Jungkook could throw his clothes at him all he wants he won't move from this comfortable spot on his bed.

"Yuk, it smells like death in here. First, you have to take a shower I'm not letting you meet my sister in that state."

His sister? Jungkook looks smug as it's clear the mention of her caught Taehyung's attention. He never got to see you after that dreadful night you said to get out.

"She doesn't want to see me. She hates me." Taehyung sighs and lays down again. He's not going. You wouldn't want him to come anyway. He deserves to suffer for making you cry and he certainly doesn't deserve you after what he had done to you.

"Bullshit. My sister loves you, and you. You clearly love her too because you wouldn't mop around all day if you didn't. You know, she's not in a better state than you are. She misses you."

You don't know what you were thinking. Seeing Taehyung after a long month spent alone was like a fresh pour of salt on your open wound. Your heart still aches for him. His longing stares are driving you crazy. Can't decide if it's real or if your eyes are deceiving you in favour of your heart's desires. He keeps looking your way and even when you try hard not to stare at him you swear you could feel his gaze on you.

You let out a relieved sigh when you're behind the protection of the women's restroom. Looking at your reflection you try to get yourself together, you know you should leave. There's no reason for you to be hopeful and then get rejected.

The door opens before you make your decision Taehyung's eyes connect with yours through the bathroom mirror. No one is inside besides you and even you don't want to be here - not say have some alone time with the boy who broke your heart.

"Please don't leave me again. I love you." [Who said those words? One might never know.]

#bts fanfiction #bts angst #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung angst #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #bts fic #bts fanfic

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harmonyckrs · 16 days

Text

DAY 11 of Twisted Strangetown: One Step Towards Summer

THE PREVIOUS DAY

Chloe: So there's a weather machine inside of Circe's house that's responsible for Strangetown's eternal winter. I don't know how it works, but if we're able to get someone with Loki's skillset to cooperate with us, we should be able to reverse the effects!

Chloe: It's no mind control clue, but Circe did also give me access to Loki's other documents in exchange for not letting her rot in prison, so he might have some information about whatever tech was being made that Harper mentioned to us.

Ajay: Your determination is admirable, Chloe, but who are we going to find that'll know how to use that machine?

Lola: Yeah. We're agents, not scientists.

Chloe: ...But there's people in town who are.

Ajay: You're probably wondering why I gathered you four here today. As some of you know, Loki is dead.

Vidcund: Loki DIED?

Ajay: Yes...we can't disclose what happened, however.

Pascal: Erin killed him and tried to frame Olive and I, and then Circe killed Erin in retaliation.

Lazlo: !!!

Crystal: Wait, for real? Wow. I wish she succeeded on that so we wouldn't have to see your face anymore.

Pascal: And I wish she went after you instead!

Ajay: ANYWAY, we also have reason to believe that he's responsible for Strangetown's eternal winter, as a result of a weird weather machine he has on the roof of his house. None of us know how to operate it, which is why we're coming to you. Whichever one of you four are able to reverse whatever it was he caused will be given one million dollars.

Pascal: We could work together and split the money?

Crystal: No, absolutely not. That million is mine!

Vidcund: I agree with Crystal. Whoever gets the machine to work should get the full million.

Pascal: Fine. Then if I win, I won't share the money with any of you either. I'm saving it for Hecate's college fund and my future wedding with Nervous.

Lazlo: ...

Ajay: Are we all in agreement over this deal?

Pascal/Vidcund/Crystal: Yes.

Ajay: Wonderful. Does anyone have any questions or comments?

Vidcund: Well...this is to Pascal and Lazlo, specifically, but I'm moving out tomorrow.

Lazlo: ?!

Pascal: Huh? What brought this on all of a sudden?

Vidcund: Found a nice place for myself with enough room for all of my plants. Hecate can take my room so you don't have to sleep on the sofa anymore.

Pascal: Oh...kay...well, as long as you're happy.

Vidcund: Thanks.

Ajay: Any actual questions or comments?...no? Alright. Meeting dismissed.

While Ajay was busy negotiating with the remaining Strangetown scientists, Chloe and I decided to return back to our original housing spot. There were some signs of someone squatting in our house, judging by the mess they left behind and an apology note written by someone named "Ginger Newson" that mentioned them needing a place to stay, so it was a good thing we cleared out all of our personal stuff or else our identities may have been exposed. I do hope that Ginger and whoever else they were with are okay now.

The General came by to help us move some stuff. We told him about everything that happened and he suggested we could try to spy on the man who reversed Vidcund's mind control and see if he has other associates who know how to reverse it. He then proceeded to build a little tower on our lawn so that the three of us could spy on him.

It took a while to find him, but what we found was much more surprising...

Vidcund: The doctor said it was going to be twins. We barely have enough room in our house for Hecate, and I don't want to make my brothers' lives harder than they need to be.

Aktu: Is it not too late to abort it?

Vidcund: No, but I do want to keep them...that's not selfish of me, is it?

Aktu: No, of course not! It's your choice, and I'm happy to support you in any way possible. This house should have enough room for them both, but I'll have to make some rearrangements.

Vidcund: Thanks, Aktu. And sorry about the rearrangements.

Aktu: Don't worry about it! This is your house too now, after all! I want you and the babies to feel comfortable. Have you told Pascal or Lazlo yet?

Vidcund: Not yet. I was going to wait until after I gave birth.

Aktu: Well, you should probably tell them soon...knowing them, they'll find out themselves later. But enough about that! There's something else that I've been wanting to ask you for a while...

We may be agents, but I don't think this was information we should be knowing about. But as long as we don't talk to Pascal or Lazlo, it should be easy to dodge (lol what's Lazlo going to do? Tell someone? He can't even speak lmao). Ajay has them all occupied so I doubt we'd have any encounters with them soon.

General Buzz then told us that he was going to return home, since he was feeling tired. I noticed he seemed to be twitching a lot, as if someone was trying to take control of his mind, but he left before anything bad happened. Even if he is an ally, we do need to remember that he's still affected by the town-wide mind control.

Also while we were talking, Pascal dropped by and put something in our mailbox. When we went to check what it was, we realized it was some kind of invitation:

"Dear Lola and Chloe Singles,

You are invited to the wedding of Pascal Curious and Nervous Subject, on the 24th of Winter at 3:00 pm at 13 Dead End Lane. Please RSVP by the 14th of Winter if you are able to make it, and check off the boxes here for your meal preferences.

We hope to see you there."

I suppose they are thanking us for helping free Nervous from Circe. I also have no clue when the 24th of Winter is, since it's been winter for practically forever. I guess I can ask him about it later...

THE NEXT DAY

---

BONUS:

Pascal: Now that we don't have to worry about the Beakers anymore, what do you want to do?

Nervous: I want to marry you...would you like to marry me?

Pascal: Of course I'll marry you!

Olive: (So this is what I'm going to have to be dealing with now, huh? To kill or not to kill...)

#sims 2 #strangetown with a twist #chloe curious #pascal curious #vidcund curious #lazlo curious #crystal vu #ajay loner

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emo-emu64 · 1 year

Text

Where the Angels Fall

Isaac "Zack" Foster x Reader

Demon AU

"As I walked into my run-down apartment I expected to be greeted by my loving house cat and the hole in the wall left by the previous residents. Instead I found a lost-looking, extraordinarily tall, inhuman, beast of a "man" wandering around, and mumbling something about "fucking humans"."

CW: Blood, gore, murder, weapon imagery, severe injury, canon typical violence, language, catcalling

Read the first chapter here.

Read the second chapter here.

Feline Friends and Fiends

It had been another long day at work. I had been on my feet all day without a break and my head was killing me, yet again. I picked a hell of a day to walk. At least I didn't have a major concussion this time.

We had been understaffed ever since Felicity busted four waiters for smoking weed in the bathroom during rush hour.

"Hey, y/n, there's a guy out front asking about you," it was Felicity. She spoke in a hushed voice as she entered the kitchen.

I instantly froze. There hadn't been another incident in a while now (as far as I was aware, at least.)

I swallowed, "What does he look like?"

She picked up on my concern almost immediately and spoke cautiously, "Black hair, really tall? It looks like he's got couple scars on his face."

I let out a sigh of relief. Zack.

"That's just my roommate. Does he need something?" I knew Zack knew where I worked, but it was rare of him to show up. I got the impression that he wasn't fond of the usual customers.

"He just asked if you were here, he's still out there if you want to talk to him. Your shifts up in five anyways, you can just head home."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, things are slowing down a bit now."

"Thanks, I'll see you later," I nodded as I made my way out to the front.

Zack was just where Felicity had left him. Leaned up against the wall, hood pulled over his face, and with his hands shoved in his hoodie pocket.

He looked up at me as I made my way towards him. His tense shoulders visibly relaxed and he moved away from the wall. Straightening his posture.

"Hey, everything alright?"

He nodded quietly, "Didn't want ya walking home in the dark by yourself."

"Sorry, I wasn't supposed to be here so late. Someone called off, and I ended up taking their shift."

He shook his head, and we began to exit through the main entrance, "'S no problem, don't worry about it."

We walked quietly down the side walk, and I noticed that Zack seemed quieter than usual. He would normally crack a few jokes or make genuine small talk, but he stayed almost entirely silent. Just surveying the area around us.

"Zack?"

"Hm?" His gaze met mine as we continued down the sidewalk.

"Are you okay? You're quieter than usual."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "My boss is having some stupid fuckin' dinner party tomorrow. He wants me to bring you."

"Oh...I didn't know you had a boss,"

'Zack? Taking orders? Kind of hard to believe.'

"Kind of. He's old, kind of a nut, but he helped me out when I was just a little shit livin' on the streets. He's not who I'm worried about, though."

I cocked my head and creased my eyebrows, signaling for him to go on.

"There's gonna be a some real piece of shit demons there, they don't play nice with humans."

"You'll be there though, right?" I wasn't sure what had him so stressed. I guess I just assumed he wasn't one to be messed with. Were there demons scarier than him?

"What? 'Course I'll fuckin' be there, I'm not leavin' ya by your damn self!"

I nodded, "We should probably get you some nicer clothes then," I teased. He only had a few outfits, and I wouldn't really call any of them formal.

He let out a loud groan, "Do we have to?" he whined.

I giggled quietly, he never failed to amaze me with how childish he could be, "Yes, we do."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time, It was only around 5:00, and the nearby department store usually doesn't close until pretty late, "We could go right now, and make it quick, or we could go tomorrow morning. I don't have class or anything."

He heaved a dramatic sigh, "Let's just get it over with."

I laughed lowly, "We can go this way, it's faster."

Eventually, we reached the storefront. Zack held the door open as we both walked through.

"Why's it gotta be so fuckin' bright in here," he muttered.

I chuckled, "Clothes for you will be upstairs. The escalator's over this way."

"The what?" he looked at me like I was speaking in tongues.

"The escalator..." the same puzzled look remained on his face, "like...moving stairs?"

"Are you high?"

"No? Just-" I breathed a small sigh, "C'mon I'll show you."

ZACK

Fuck. My. Life.

"Zack, it's not even a real suit. You will live," y/n stood in front of me as she spoke holding out the clothes that she was insistent on me trying on .

"I don't give a rat's ass. I'm not wearing it."

From what I could see, there was a thin, dark red turtle neck, along with black dress pants, and fancy looking jacket. It looked exactly like what rich douches wear. I refused to look like a rich douche.

"It will look nice on you. Just try it on, please?" She creased her brows, and looked up at me with big puppy dog eyes. It was stupid cute, and pissing me the hell off.

Fuck me.

"For fuck's sake, fine!" I snatched them out of her hands.

"Thank you, the fitting room is over there."

I closed and locked the stall door of the small changing room, immediately unzipping my hoodie and pulling my shirt over my head. I never saw the point in taking off clothes just to try on shit you're already planning to buy, but whatever.

As I pulled the clothes off their hangers, I caught a glimpse off my scarred arms and torso in the mirror. I always hated them. I didn't want to see them under any circumstances, but the old man insisted that I couldn't wear bandages if I was going to work for him. That they "made it too easy to identify me" and "restricted my movement." What a fucking joke. I can do my job just fine, with or without the damn bandages.

Once I was finally done, I turned to look in the mirror. Surprisingly, I didn't look as douchey as I thought I would. I did't hate it, but I definitely didn't like it. It was...okay.

"Happy now?" I asked, as I slammed the changing room door shut.

She flinched a bit at the sound, before looking me over. A soft grin spread across her face, as she fixed the collar of the jacket and buttoned it in the middle. It suddenly hit me that I was much taller than her, the top of her head just barely reaching my chest.

She stepped back, "That looks really nice on you, Zack," She was being genuine again, which confused the hell out of me.

"Thanks," I grumbled, "Can we go now?"

She giggled again, it was fucking cute. Everything about her was, it was almost annoying.

'She doesn't even have to try.'

"Yeah, go change, and then we can check out."

I pushed open the glass door, bag in hand. Y/N followed behind me. We walked quietly for a while. It was even darker than before, and I got the feeling that these streets weren't exactly safe.

I was torn from my thoughts as I felt her move closer into me. It made my stomach drop and my chest tighten, but not in the way I was used to. It felt nice, nothing like the adrenaline before a kill. I slowly wrapped my arm around her waist. It felt safe.

As we walked I felt her start to shiver slightly, and she moved further into me.

"Cold, sweetheart?" I chuckled.

She nodded her head, face tucked into my side, "I forgot my jacket at home today."

I stopped walking, unzipped my jacket, and handed it to her.

"You're gonna get cold, though..."

I scoffed, "I don't get cold, sweetheart. Just put it on."

She sighed a quick "thank you" and pulled it on. It was fuckin' huge on her, and she was pulling it off way too well.

We began walking again, but we didn't get far before we heard drunken whistles and hollers from the other side of the street. She immediately clutched my free hand and stepped closer, her head down.

When I looked to see where the noise was coming from, I felt the all too familiar need for my scythe. Which I had stupidly left at "work". Still, I had my knife tucked into the waistband of my jeans, hidden by the hem of my t-shirt.

It was a group of three or four drunken pricks, and it didn't take long for me to pick up on who they were talking to.

"Hey, darlin'..." there was a loud hiccup that I thought for sure would turn into puke, " Why don't you come hang with us for a bit. We could show ya a good time."

I felt a rush of adrenaline, and my muscles tensed. I moved for my knife, but before I could reach it, her hand was over my own.

"Don't, please. They're not worth it."

I didn't look at her right away, still glaring at the group of assholes across the street, but when I did she was looking up at me with those fuckin' puppy dog eyes again.

'This girl's gonna be the fuckin' death of me."

I huffed and pulled her close again, as we continued walking, "Your lucky your cute."

Y/N

Mreooow...

Zero immediately trotted up to Zack and I as I opened the door to the apartment, brushing against my legs.

"I fed you before I left, dummy, I'm not giving you anymore. The vet says your fat," he just sat in front of me and stared.

"Maybe he's still hungry," Zack stepped passed me, dropping the bag near the door, and briefly bending down to scratch Zero on the head. Then plopping down on the couch.

'Is the serial killer I just had to stop from murdering a bunch of catcalling drunkards, seriously defending my house cat?'

"You're siding with the cat?" I laughed a little.

I found it odd, how much Zack seemed to tolerate and even like Zero. There were times, on nights where I kept my door shut, that I would find the feline curled up at Zack's feet in the mornings. Both fast asleep.

"No!"

"I never expected you to be much of a cat person, Zack."

"I'm not an anything person, sweetheart," he scoffed as he flicked through Netflix with the remote.

As he did however, Zero jumped up on the couch with him, and promptly flopped into Zack's lap. Purring loudly.

"Uh-huh, right. You just keep telling yourself that, buddy."

"Hey! This is all him, I got nothin' to do with it, maybe your cat's a Zack person," going entirely against his own words, however, he began gently running his hands through Zero's fur.

"You sure? You're getting pretty defensive about it," I took my usual seat in the spot next to him.

"I am not!" He whined, he really was just a giant child.

I threw my head back and laughed, it was a good laugh, loud and genuine. I hadn't had one of those in a while. It felt nice.

Once I was done, I looked back to Zack, who had stayed silent the whole time. He was looking down at me, a small smile gracing his lips.

"What?" I grinned.

"That's your real laugh, yeah?"

I tilted my head, "Yeah, I guess. Sorry, it's loud."

He shook his head, "No, I like it. It's pretty."

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. He was always so sincere, it made my brain foggy and my whole body warm. To think that I just stopped him from ripping some random dude's throat out no longer than 45 minutes ago was baffling to me.

"Thank you."

"Mhmm," he went back to flipping through the movies I had added to my Netflix list for him because he couldn't read the titles for himself. He had explained to me that he was never given an education as a child fairly soon after he moved in. That he could not read, or write, or count any higher than 10 (and even that was a little shaky). I didn't know much about his childhood, but I did know it gave him nightmares, bad ones, so it could not have been pleasant.

"Hey Zack?"

"Hm?" He glanced at me before turning his attention back to the screen.

"Do you want to learn to read?"

He paused, turning to face me now, "What?"

"I could probably teach you to read and write. If you wanted."

He considered my offer, and laughed, "You sure ya want to sign up for that, sweetheart? It won't be fun."

I gave him a small smile and shook my head, "You're stubborn as all hell, but you're a pretty fast learner when you want to be. Much faster than you think you are."

He raised his eyebrows, dropped his jaw a bit, and stared at me with wide eyes, before shaking his head and scoffing, "You're outta your damn mind."

I chuckled a bit, "Ohh, that's rich coming from you, pretty boy."

He simply scoffed, and rolled his eyes. Turing his attention back to the cheesy slasher film he had decided on.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, "Do you need your jacket back?" I started to reach for the zipper, but he spoke first.

"Nah, you're good, I've gotta ton," he paused and looked me over for a moment, before muttering, "It looks really good on you, anyways."

I felt myself go tense. My head went fuzzy once again and a searing and tight warmth bloomed in my chest.

'God, there he goes again. I can't even think when he says shit like that.'

I forced out a small "thank you," and he let out a soft laugh.

"Why so shy, sweetheart?"

'F U C K.'

I just gaped up at him like an idiot. Mouth open, eyes wide, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks red. A mischievous smirk decorated his stupidly pretty face.

"Your cute. When you get all shy like that," he grinned down at me. A real one, too. No sarcasm, or mischief, or blood-lust. A genuine smile, with shining eyes, and white teeth.

I returned the favor with an equally real smile. Not like the one I give shitty customers after a long day of shitty customers, or the one I give rude classmates who don't help at all with group projects.

"You have a really nice smile, Zack," I continued to beam up at him, speaking softly.

He paused briefly, cheeks reddening as he gazed down at me. Surveying my expression, watching my eyes. He was trying to decide if I was telling the truth, a usual habit of his.

Once he came to his conclusion, he spoke again, "Uhm...thanks."

'Yeah, that's how it feels! You pretty asshole!"

We just smiled at each other for a moment before a sharp scream ripped through the air.

I jumped in my seat on the couch, and let out a small yelp of my own. I looked around frantically trying to find the source of the noise.

Next to me, however, Zack was laughing hysterically. He clutched his stomach and wiped his eyes as a very disturbed Zero leapt from his lap onto the floor. I stared at him, shocked and appalled.

"It's the TV, sweetheart," he cooed at me after finding the capacity to form words.

I looked towards the screen.

'Oh, right. The slasher.'

"I knew that..."

"Uh-huh, don't worry I'll protect you from the scary movie," he teased, ruffling my hair.

I smiled again, "You better."

#isaac foster #zack foster #zack foster x reader #x reader #angels of death #satsuriku no tenshi

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moonxmagix · 2 years

Text

Leave The Scent of Your Cologne

Pairing: Frank Iero x Fem Reader

Requested by: My Own Brain

Word Count: Too fucking many !

TW: Wine, Cigarettes

A/N: First time doing something like this I hope you enjoy. Wanted to do something soft and gentle! Because those are the type of things I enjoy reading lol.

Summary: Frank is your close friend but behind the scenes you guys are a lot closer than people think. You haven't started dating so things are confusing. One night he comes over and leaves his mark with you forever.

Setting: New York City apartment, Winter time.

You and Frank had always been close friends since High-School. Best friends you could say, you could go to him for anything and could call him at any time of the night and he'd come over. You always had a small crush on Frank but never wanted to tell him because you thought you'd get over it or that it would ruin the friendship with him.

Your POV:

I got home pretty late, I look at the clock to see it was 8pm. God. Work had been crazy and so stressful that time didn't even seem real. Time passed and time froze certain days. I turn the news on while sitting on the couch of my tiny apartment. Blah Blah Blah...News talk...Winter storm?!

It had started snowing on my commute back home but I didn't think it'd end up getting bad. I decided to call Frank and ask him to come over and spend the night, I know he'd say yes. "Come over. Pleaseeee?" After some convincing he said yes, "Fine, you always sucker me in." I hear his deep laugh on the other end and it makes my heart flutter.

I put on some cozy pajamas aka my trusty sweatpants and black tank top. Not long after I hear a knock at the door, "Welcome home!" We both laugh welcoming him inside, "Home? You wan't me to move in so bad it's funny." He wasn't wrong, I wanted to spend all my time with him. He did bring a big bag of his stuff so that's what it felt like.

"Wine?" I offer him going into the kitchen. "You know it! Cigarette?" He offers with a smile. His smile drove me crazy that it made a bright red flush across my face. "You know it." I lean against the island counter taking a sip of wine and drag off my cigarette. Frank did the same staring at me.

I wonder what he's thinking about. After some silence I bring up the storm, "You know there's a snow storm tonight right? Probably gonna miss work tomorrow." He finishes his cigarette and wine, "Duh, it was all over the news. You just wanted to be trapped with me. I know you can't get enough." Frank laughs and smirks walking a bit closer to me, our faces now a couple inches apart.

I could feel my heartbeat pick up rapidly. It was so loud that I thought Frank would be able to hear it honestly. "Movie?" He speaks softly. "Yeah sure, which one?" We sit on the couch together sharing a ginormous blanket. My couch was small so it was impossible not to be touching him. We put on a random hallmark romance and I could feel the tension between us.

I put my legs on top of his and could feel him immediately relax, I guess we both needed that. He places his hands on top of my thighs rubbing them gently. "Do you have a heater? It's fucking freezing in here." He whines getting under the blanket. But he kept repositioning himself to lay on top of me with his head on my stomach.

It took me by surprise but I tried my best to embrace it. "If you need a heater then you have to let me get up, Frankie. So I can turn it on." I run my hands through his hair, "I'll turn you on." He whispers with a cute giggle. "Excuse you?" He looks up at me, "Your'e excused missy."

Frank lets me get up and I drag a small heater to the couch facing it towards us. He laid right back in his spot and we finished our movie, cuddling, warm, and safe. I decided to turn the news on after the movie finished and it was already 12am. They told everyone to stay inside because of harsh winter conditions and that everything would be closed.

"Guess you're stuck with me all day and night tomorrow." I stretch my arms tiredly then wrapping them around Frank. "That's exactly what I want." His response made me blush and I couldn't even respond. He was right. "I think I'm gonna start getting ready for bed." I say with a slight stutter pushing him off me onto the floor.

"Without me?!" I laugh and pull him with me to the bathroom. I grab my face wash and start cleaning my messy makeup off. I was taking up most of the bathroom and Frank needed in, "Coming by sweetheart," He says placing his hands on your hips placing a small smack on your ass. You knew what he was doing and he knew what he was doing.

"Frank!" I say while my face is covered in soap so I can't see him laughing his ass off. "Keep your eyes closed or you're getting flashed," He says and suddenly you hear a water stream. I wash the foam off my face, "FRANK! Why couldn't you wait until I was done?!" I turn around mistakenly, which resulted in me seeing his dick. I close my eyes placing my hand on my forehead, good lord. "I told you!"

We brush our teeth while standing next to each other. We would make quite a cute couple if I do say so myself. Maybe tonight will be the night I confess my feelings for Frank. We go into my bedroom which was dimly light by my bedside table light which was a salt lamp. Vibey, I know.

Before we lay down Frank took his shirt off throwing it on the floor, "Wait here, I have something for you." He says rushing out the room. I decide to put his shirt on instead and hop in bed covering myself with the blankets. "Here. It's the newest copy of our latest release." He looked so proud of himself.

I know the guys had been working so hard on this album so I felt so special to receive this. "Frank, this is amazing. Thank you!" I place it on the bedside table and Frank hops in bed with me. I cuddle myself up with him resting my head on his chest and my leg over his waist. I trace with my finger over his tattoos, they were my favorite part about him because he was covered in them.

No one knew how close Frank and I were. We hadn't had sex yet but there were lots of steamy make-out sessions and dates. I don't know why we weren't dating but I think a lot of it had to do with my work life and his band activities. It was just never the right timing. Right person but wrong time vibe.

"Are you wearing my shirt?" He asks pulling you away from him to examine your body. "It is! My clothes look so much better on you than me." We stayed up talking for another good two hours before we had both fallen asleep entangled in one another.

I felt safe with Frank. His smell was my favorite part. He always smelled like cologne and cigarettes with his lips having a hint of coffee most of the time. I dreaded the moment knowing in about a day he would have to go back home.

~^~^~^~^

I woke up to an empty but warm bed so I figured that he had just gotten out of bed. Until I see the heater pointed towards me, that wasn't there last night though...

I get out of bed turning the heater off heading into the living room. Frank sat on the balcony with a heavy coat on smoking. What the fuck was he doing out there? It was still snowing heavily when we woke up.

Frank eventually comes inside, "Why on earth would you go outside to smoke? You're literally crazy." I start making my coffee. "Crazy about you." He says staring right at me taking his coat off. "Shut up Frank." I try laughing his comment off but it kept repeating itself in my head. "I'm serious, Y/N." What is he talking about?

I look at him tilting my head to the side like a dog, "Y/N, I think I'm in love with you," I stood frozen ignoring the beep on my coffee maker to tell me it's done. He walks over to me pinning me against the counter, "I want you so bad, Y/N. Every fucking day your face, your voice, everything about you is on my mind 24/7. It's driving me crazy knowing we aren't together."

I was speechless, "Frank-" I go to speak but get interrupted by Frank intertwining his lips with mine. I gasp and put my arms around his neck moving my lips with his harmoniously. He pulls away and our eyes met for what felt like eternity. When I was with Frank everything felt...good. Life felt normal with him around constantly, it had already felt like you two were dating for years already. He was familiar, he was comfort.

"I know this is sudden but, will you be my girlfriend? Officially. I'm ready. Just say yes and I'm yours." He says holding my face with his hands. "Yes Frank, of course. I felt the exact same way about you but I had no idea how to tell you. I didn't wanna ruin things between us but I'm glad you finally said something." It felt good to get that off my chest. It felt like the worlds weight lifted off my shoulders.

After some breakfast and cuddling on the couch I say, "Why can't you just move in with me already? Ugh." I groan, I wanted to take in every moment with him. I was dreading the morning time when he had to leave. "Who said I couldn't? There's no getting rid of me." He squeezes my cheeks placing kisses on them.

I take Franks hand in mine, "Leave your stuff here. Please? You can bring more of your stuff, I don't mind." I beg him. "I knew you wanted me to move in, sneaky rat." He teases and goes to unpack his bag putting a few of his clothes and toiletries away.

The weather seemed to be clearing up quite a bit, "Would you be mad if I left tonight?" Frank pulls me in for a hug not letting go just rocking back and forth. I heavy sigh, "Yeah, but what's your reasoning?" I was willing to negotiate with him. "So I can pack as many boxes as I can and move in tomorrow dummy. The quicker the better." He did have a point.

"Fine, but you promise to be back?" I hold out my pinky for him to swear on it. "Absolutely pretty girl. I can't be away from you for long." He smiles and I melt inside. He made me absolutely weak in the knees.

He gets dressed in warm clothing so he could head out on his way, "Don't miss me too much sweetheart." He winks and kisses me quickly heading down my apartment hallway. He left around 7pm so it was now dark and I was now alone, again. I know he'd be back but I felt like I was being ripped apart from my soulmate.

I decided to call it a semi-early night and lay in bed. It still stayed the same from when I had woken up. I turn the heater on and get in bed. I was still wearing his shirt and buried my head into the pillows he slept on last night.

I inhaled deeply to take in the scent of his cologne. He smelled so good, it was heavily. Mixed with cigarettes it made it intoxicating. I grabbed one of the pillows from under my head to cuddle with it. I lay with my pillows wrapping my arms around it tightly, "I love you Frank." I whisper.

I know he wasn't there to hear me but I felt like I needed to practice first. God I felt pathetic. I can't wait for him to get here tomorrow.

My phone dings suddenly and I grab it frantically, it was a message from Frank with a picture. It was a picture of a bunch of boxes and bags packed. "Soon." He said.

This is how I know this is forever.

#frank iero imagine #frank iero #mcr frank #mcrfanfic #mcr #mcromance #my chem frank #frank iero fanfic #frank iero fanfiction #oneshots #mcr oneshots #mcr imagines #soft #winter #I love frank so much #can you tell im lonely

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needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves · 2 years

Note

Can we have Pepa and Felix in their early twenty going on a super romantic date, not really smuty but really cute.

I do appreciate smut, but lately I've been wanting more fluffy and romance shit. So let's go!

"Pepi, I have a question."

"Hmm?"

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"

Pepa couldn't understand this man. You try to hang up laundry, and here this man was, giving you some kind of riddle. She chuckled as she hung up her brother's ruana. Least she didn't have to do the actual washing part, that was agony on her nails.

"I don't know, how much?"

"Enough to break the ice-let me take you on a date tomorrow."

Pepa didn't want to laugh. Really she didn't. She felt her eyes tear up a bit, and feeling sprinkles of rain against her skin. Sure, there was sun, but if he brought her to tears, that didn't matter in the slightest.

"Hey, no! I'm trying to dry my clothes, estúpido!"

She tried to ignore him as he hung up her sister's dress, but of course, he was relentless. He poked his head past the hanging laundry, giving her just the biggest smile.

"Please don't tell me that 'no' isn't towards the date, I can't take that heartbreak."

She couldn't help but feel her heart swell at him. He had a smile like the sun, the small bit of rain that tickled the baby hairs on his face, the rainbow that shone over his stupid head. She sighed, as if she was sick of him.

"Fine, fine. Only because you're kinda cute. Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise. BUT I'll give you a hint. You need to wear something you can run or climb stuff in."

"If you're telling me you're taking me on a jogging date, they'll never find your body."

Félix snorted, taking the empty basket from her, like a real gentleman.

"It's not jogging, I promise. You'll like it though, I swear."

"Like it as much as I like you?"

"Maybe. Can't say for certain, unless you tell me just how much you like me~"

He was baiting her, clearly wanting a compliment or some type of affection. And boy was he gonna get it. She hooked a finger into his shirt, and gently pulled him down to her level to kiss him. He was always so sweet, she couldn't get enough of him. He was about to try to put his fingers in her hair (Pepa liked his chest hair, he liked her braid), when they both jumped at the sound of Alma above them, on the second floor.

"Careful, you two aren't married YET!"

Félix chuckled sheepishly, giving her a bit of a wave. Pepa was SO lucky he was so charming, Alma LOVED him.

"Hola, dona Alma. You look lovely today! Como un rosa!"

Alma chuckled, making an 'oh stop it' hand motion at him.

"Thank you, Félix! Are you staying for dinner?"

"And miss a chance to look at some of the prettiest women I know? Never! Count me in!"

Pepa nudged his gut with her elbow as Alma walked away, probably getting Julieta to make more food for their extra guest.

"Oye, stop hitting on my mom!"

"What, you already call me papi, it'll be an easy transition!"

Pepa tried yet again not to laugh, even though he clearly wanted to hear it. He was ridiculous. She wrapped an arm around him, rubbing the tear from her eye with her free hand.

"You're awful. I love you."

"I love you too, Pepi. Who's cooking tonight by the way?"

"Oh I am! Julieta said she could use a break."

Félix looked scattered for a moment, before chuckling awkwardly.

"I uhm. Just remembered I need to uhm. Go...feed Julio's fish. Yep."

"Your brother doesn't have a fish."

"Uh...shit, Casita, help a guy out."

Casita took the hint, using the floor tile to push Félix towards the front of the Casita. Thunder crackled over her head as she yelled after him.

"YOU SHOULD FEEL LUCKY THAT I'D WANT TO FEED YOU! YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER, FÉLIX!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO, PEPI!"

Pepa huffed as Félix made his way home. She looked towards the tile below her feet, tapping her foot angrily.

"Casita, my food isn't that bad, is it?"

Casita's tiles trembled, as if in fear, before Pepa scoffed.

"You're a house, what do YOU know?"

--------------------

She held grudges more than any woman he's ever met. He arrived at the Casita, dressed and ready to go, as was Pepa, but thunder crackled over her head, and her arms folded over her chest. She looked pretty, at least, trying out a new dress with him. Her hair was done up in a ponytail, her thunder earrings jangled. Honestly, if she didn't look pissed as all hell, he'd scoop her up and tell her just how pretty she looked. Bruno piped up behind her, giving him a bit of a wave.

"Hey Félix. Pepa is mad."

"I see that. Is it about dinner?"

Pepa practically snarled at him, looking ready to throw his ass out the window.

"It's about how ungrateful your ass is. A man who doesn't want a woman to cook for him-I'm insulted!"

"Pepa, I think he's just practicing safety, you literally burnt-okay I'm sorry!"

Pepa's thunder damn near hit him, making him yelp as he jumped away from her fury. So she was mad, he could fix this. He offered a hand to her, and she stared at it in judgement, before giving it to him. He brought it to his lips, kissing the back of it.

"I'm sorry I upset you. I am grateful to you. It's why I'd still want to take you out. Please?"

She wanted to keep being angry, but Pepa's face erupted in mist, showing him it worked. She, albiet with a sour look on her face, clung to his arm.

"Take me out before I change my mind."

"Of course. See you, hermano, we'll be back by tonight!"

Bruno gave a bit of a wave, looking relieved that he hadn't died, and Félix fully understood that feeling. Pepa was pretty, and she could get pretty fucking pissed at times.

"Have fun! Bring me something from the panadería!"

Félix waved him off as he walked away with Pepa, who still looked a bit irked. He nudged her a bit, making her look up at him.

"You can be mad at me if that's what you feel like. But I can promise you, this'll make you feel better."

"It better. Your cute face only gets you so far."

Félix chuckled. Call her moody, unpredictable, but boy did she look pretty at his arm like this. The clouds eventually settled as they walked on, ending with the sky being a dull, silent gray. He turned the corner, right to the orchard. The farmer there, an old family friend, nodded at him.

"Félix, Pepa! Glad you could make it. Here, take a basket, have at it."

"Gracias, really, appreciate it!"

Pepa looked confused as he handed her a basket, and walked right on in.

"Mango trees?"

"Yeah! I know you talk a lot about how your gift makes you feel. So I thought we'd take you somewhere to see just how your gift is important. Reap the fruits of your labor, so to speak."

Pepa looked at the fruits littered all over the trees, before looking at him. She didn't look angry anymore, but rather, incredibly flattered.

"That's...kinda sweet. You better not be buttering me up just to get free work out of me."

"No no! He said we can keep as much as we can fit in the baskets. We're taking it home. And at first, I was just gonna cut them up, but I thought maybe we could make something out of these. We have recipes at home, and I thought I could teach you some things. I know it's hard, I just wanna help you."

She looked conflicted, before lightly smacking his side with the basket.

"Shut up. Let's get started."

Yep, he was forgiven. He grinned as he was about to offer to help Pepa up the tree, only to look up and see she was already up there, sitting on the branch.

"How did you get UP there so fast?!"

"Bruno would get stuck in trees a LOT, SOMEONE had to get him down. Hold your basket up!"

Félix did as she said, letting her drop mango after mango into his basket. It was funny, Pepa couldn't cook, but she sure as hell knew her fruits. Only ripe ones made their way to his basket. Beautiful blends of orange and red, not a fleck of green to be seen. He looked up at her as she kept going, and she looked to be so comfortable, so in her element. Félix had been with loads of women, but none surprised him as often as she did.

"Pepa, do you need to switch?"

"Can you even climb up here, gordito?"

"Gordito-woman, say that again, I dare you!"

She looked down at him with a smirk, mango in her hands.

"Gordito. I could write it down for you, if you can't hear."

Oh that was it, she wanted to challenge him, challenge she'd get. He tossed the basket at her, and started to climb the tree. He could climb a tree no problem, but certainly not as fast as his girlfriend, she was built like a cat.

"Just you wait! When I get up there, imma kiss you! Then we'll see who-hey! How'd you do that?"

Pepa was now a couple of branches ahead of him, chuckling in clear amusement. Here she was, comfortable as hell in the tree, while he was here like a mountain man trying to catch up to her.

"Uh huh. You were saying, hombrecito?"

She was looking at him like he was a sad little puppy. So condescending, so high and mighty. He loved it, he was crazy about it even.

"I was saying, I'm gonna kiss you, and you're gonna look so dumb when you see how right I am!"

"Uh huh. Sure. The day YOU catch up to me is the day I-"

She was so busy bragging, him catching up to her and finally kissing her cheek shook her enough to make her have just the cutest squeak. He chuckled as he watched her shocked little eyes.

"A man in love does incredible things. In my case, surprising you."

She chuckled, and looked as if she was about to kiss him, before whispering against his lips.

"Bet I can beat you to the bottom."

"W-hey! No fair, you got a head start!"

He watched as Pepa practically jumped down the branches before inevitably making it back to the ground. He caught up eventually, but of course, that was enough for her to feel triumphant.

"Ah winning. It feels nice."

"You're lucky you're cute when you gloat, Pepi."

They held their respective baskets of mangos, and started to leave the orchard. He would've offered to carry it for her, but he knew she liked to pull her own weight.

"So, we're really gonna be cooking with these?"

"Yeah, mami said we could use her recipes. Feel flattered, she won't even share them with Alma. And, because I know you get kinda self concious about it,"

He spoke as he opened the door to his empty house, beaming in pride.

"I talked everyone into being out of the house for today. So it's just for us."

"Wait...you made the house empty, to cook with me? You don't want to like, have sex?"

"I love you, and I'm attracted to you. This doesn't ALWAYS mean I'll want to have sex. Sometimes showing my attraction to you is just. Being with you. Getting to admire you. If it happens, I sure as hell won't fight it, but I'm doing all of this JUST to get under your dress. I know skirts that take a LOT less work."

He heard her swear at him as he dipped into the kitchen, and god did he love her for it. She followed him, dropping the basket on the counter. She took one of them, smelling it.

"You know mami taught me how to tell they're ripe, just by smell?"

"Really? Thought you had to feel them."

"Not all the time. Here, smell. See how it smells kinda like citrus, but creamy too?"

He smelled the fruit in her hands, and nodded. He knew mangos smelled good, but didn't know you could get that specific from it.

"Huh, you're right. Alright, you know about mangos, but can you cut them?"

"Yes!"

Pepa loved any excuse to help in the kitchen. That wasn't dishes, she hated dishes (claimed it made her nails too much of a mess), at least. She was good at cutting at least, not wasting too much of the flesh. She was good with a knife, and that information was a BIT scary.

"So I take it Julieta asks you to help her prep?"

"Oh all the time. She says I'm good with a knife. I WANT to cook, but she says I'm impatient. Which I'm not."

"You SAYING that, or you waiting for me to deny that?"

Pepa glared at him, flicking a mango skin at him. He already got mango juice all over his hands and arms, what was the difference if he got it on his shirt?

"I'm saying shut up and tell me what we're making."

He snorted, taking a second to clean his hands, before opening the recipe book his mom left at the table. He was genuinely surprised when his mom offered to use her recipes, she once punched a man who tried to touch this book.

"Let's see, let's see...we could do cobblers, pound cakes...oh! Upside down cake is my favorite one-"

"Then that one! Let's do that one!"

"You sure? It's a challenge."

The one thing this woman loved, was a challenge. He could practically see it in her eyes.

"I wanna do it! If it's something you like, I wanna do it!"

"Alright then, let's do it! First, we gotta get all the ingredients. You keep cutting, I'll get everything."

Félix dug into the cabinets and shelves for everything they'd need. Flour, baking powder, sugar, butter, and even the bourbon that the recipe called for. He brought over two skillets, and she scowled.

"Is this in case mine sucks?"

"No because we have our weight in mangos, Pepa. Now, this usually uses peaches, but mangos will have to do. So first, we need to let the mangos sit with the fruit for ten minutes, to let it soak. Let me get the measuring cups and set the ov-oh my god."

He watched as his girlfriend dumped the whole fucking bottle into the bowl, alongside WAY more mangos than what they needed. He should've stopped her, but she looked so determined and cute with her concentrated scowl, he just couldn't.

"Okay, what next?"

Oh his dad JUST bought that bottle, he was gonna kill his ass. Worth it, just to see her as excited as she was. He took a deep breath. First time cooking WITH her, and he could see why her food ended how it did. She had NO patience. But hey, she has passion! And that was important.

"Ay, alright. Okay, we need to melt some butter on the pan, on the stove. I'll do it right next to you, try to follow me, alright?"

Pepa nodded. She was doing her best, following how much butter he was using, but cranking the heat way too high. He lowered it right after she cranked it, and she scowled at him.

"Wouldn't it make it go faster?"

"It'd burn it, Pepa. You can't rush it. Good things take time. You taste more love in it that way."

Pepa pouted at him, impatient as ever.

"Sounds like you just want me to wait."

"I just want you to be patient. Trust me. It'll turn out so beautiful. It'll be worthy enough to made by hands like yours. Hands that you seriously need to wash, you're still covered in mango."

She was messy too, apparently. Not that he minded. If anything, it was precious, watching her get so excited to remember to do something so simple. He continued on, showing her how to layer the fruit, then sprinkle the brown sugar over the fruit. The fruit bubbled and cooker with the butter and the sugar and the alcohol. It smelled perfect.

"So what next?"

"Next, we do the mix. We gotta mix the butter and sugar till it's creamy. Which uh. Might take five whole minutes."

"Five whole-are you serious?!"

"I know your hands, they can manage."

Did that get him the side eye? Absolutely. But worth it, because damn was he funny. He mixed alongside her, and he could absolutely tell she was done with this already.

"You like putting me to work, that's what this is."

"Pepi, I PROMISE you, it's gonna be worth it! It's delicious, and mami makes it for Mateo every year on his birthday. It's a rarity in this house, and you'll see why."

When the mixture was FINALLY just right, he added the already mixed egg, vanilla, flour, baking powder, and a bit of salt. With some milk, the mixture was perfect. They both poured it over their buttered skillets, and added their mangos.

"It actually looks...nice."

"Wait till it's cooked. We just have to put it in, for about forty minutes."

"Jeez, why does your poor mother go through all of that? And for Mateo, he sucks."

Félix chuckled as he started to clean, letting Pepa sit there and complain. He didn't mind cleaning, so long as he got to look at her.

"Because she loves us. You should see her, she even makes her own ice cream to go with it. Patience is a beautiful thing."

"...hey Félix?"

"Yeah?"

"Does your mom hate that I can't cook?"

Félix's mother LOVED Pepa. Seriously, she was constantly hounding him to marry her already. But she didn't exactly fit in with his side of the family, just like he didn't exactly fit into hers. She was impatient, she could be super self conscious, and she couldn't make a proper meal to save her life, let alone clean or do laundry. He could understand the question, he just wished she knew exactly how much she was loved in this house.

"Not at all. If anything, she loves it, so she doesn't have to worry about you feeding me before dinner. Literally she told me the other day 'don't you pick Julieta, I don't wanna compete with her meals'. And that's just one of the many reasons why she's nuts about you."

That made her snort into her hand. He was glad that brought a smile to her face, if only for a second.

"Dios, I LOVE your mami."

"Don't tell her that to her face, it's all I'll hear for weeks."

"Like you don't already talk about me all the time."

"Hey. Don't be right in my own house."

She couldn't stop grinning, especially as he kissed her forehead, just to show he was serious. By the time he finished cleaning, the timer went off. He pulled them both out, and they looked ready. He set them on the counter, waving off some of the steam with his oven mit. Pepa looked excited, even clapping her little hands together.

"I made it! And it's not burnt! Not that I burn my food."

"Let's just agree that I'm proud of you. You did good. And we couldn't have made this without your gift. You make many beautiful things Pepa. And I know with all the rain and snow and thunder, it's hard to see it. But this? Is all you."

"Aw, Félix...well, I can only take some credit. Without you around, those damn trees wouldn't have survived."

He pulled her close to his side, just to hold her.

"It's a duel effort then. We make a good team, you and I. And damn we look good doing it."

"We REALLY do. Seriously, we're hot."

He was about to agree with her, when they both turned to the front door. His mother and father, as well as older brother, just walked in. His mother saw them in the kitchen, and immediately walked in, only to gasp at the desserts in front of them.

"Oh! Look at you two! Cooking in the kitchen! These look LOVELY! Honey, you better not be trying to replace me here."

Pepa chuckled, nudging Félix with a bit of mist against her cheeks.

"You can blame him, he made it with me. After we picked the mangos."

"Aw, well ain't that just the cutest little date! Is she staying over?"

"No, I promised Bruno I'd have her back by tonight. Sun is setting-can Pepa just take the skillet?"

His mother was on it, getting a large towel for her to carry the skillet without hurting her poor hands.

"Course she can! Do bring it back though, sweetpea, I use these damn near every day."

"Si, Señora Castillo-"

"Ah ah ah. Try that again."

"Si, mama."

"There we go!"

Félix traded the skillets while no one was looking, so she would be taking his home. He just wanted to be sure she'd have something to be proud of.

"I'll walk you home-"

His father grunted dismissively, gently shaking his head.

"I'll walk the girl home. You gotta help your mama with dinner."

"If you don't mind, Señor."

He put his hand on the small of Pepa's back, shaking his head.

"Not at all mija, I need to stretch these legs. I'll be back."

Pepa blew him a kiss as his dad took her outside, and Félix sighed.

"I feel. So guilty."

"What for, baby?"

"I swapped the cakes before she took it. This one is hers. I was just worried hers wouldn't be good. It kinda feels like I'm lying."

His mami chuckled as she patted his cheek affectionately.

"Aw honey. That's sweet of you. Don't worry, you're just being sweet. Why don't we try hers, since its here?"

Félix nodded. He gave a slice to his mother, his brother, then himself. He took a bite, and gagged. His mother coughed, taking a step back as if you told her this was from the trash. Félix winced, setting the plate down.

"Dios what IS that? It's all alcohol and...fish?"

His mom went into the fridge for some milk, to soothe her pour mouth, before chuckling.

"Oh. Honey, I think she was trying to put in vanilla, and put in fish sauce."

"When did she do that? I didn't even notice! Ugh, feels like a waste of mangos, it's inedible!"

Julio shrugged, amazingly still eating.

"I like it."

He shared a look with his mother, who just sighed.

"Julio, mijo, you can eat it if you want. I uh, don't think anyone else is going to."

"Can I take it to my room?"

"God yes, get it out of my kitchen."

Julio muttered a goodnight before grabbing the skillet, and walking away with it. His mom shook her head, chuckling softly.

"Oh that girl. You need to marry her, honeypie. She's a delight."

"...you know. I think you're right, actually."

#not transformers #encanto #asks #listen this is just MY ideal date #fruit picking and baking #seriously though god help this woman #only Julio likes her bullshit ass food #seriously he likes it more than his mother's #no one gets it #ANYWAY #we love a patient and loving Félix #and Félix's family who loves her #and yes everyone at the Casita was shocked that 'Pepa' made something so tasty

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everythingsinred · 1 year

Text

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 5)

Hey guys. I know I'm late in posting but that's because I was reading my fav NatsuMikan fanfic and then talking for hours with @thesightofworms on the phone about Gakuen Alice so I lost track of time. I'll probably post tomorrow's essay earlier in the day but today was good anyway. It might have taken a while but it still arrived, after all.

Today we'll be discussing Mikan's POV during the Reo Arc. I think it's very easy to focus on Natsume's feelings during these chapters, particularly later in the arc when he regains consciousness, because this is the arc where It happens, but Mikan's perspective is important here too.

If any of my thoughts here seem incoherent, that's probably because they are. I'm sorry--I tend to be a mess when it comes to these two. This essay is my attempt to make sense of my very deep feelings about them, a pursuit that is occasionally difficult.

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Chapter Thirteen

Reo is coming to Alice Academy to perform on the third day. He’ll be stopping by today to get checked up before the concert. It’s supposed to be a secret, but it’s nothing a kid with the super hearing alice can’t figure out. Mikan is very excited until she finds out who Reo is--then she gets even more excited. Mikan is sometimes just happy to get carried away with the crowd.

They’re all excited until they notice Ruka is crestfallen. He’s worried because Natsume is in the hospital from exhaustion. He’s been exhausted since the dodgeball game, apparently, and Mikan instantly thinks of when Natsume warned her that they were both being singled out. She’s so intuitive in many ways, getting the idea that Natsume’s exhaustion might be related to the school “watching” him. He’s sick and most of the class is naturally concerned.

Mikan gradually comes to care about Natsume. She goes from being mildly surprised and disturbed by his injured body when they first get partnered up to being genuinely concerned here. Of course, the feeling is a little fleeting, but her concern for him will become harder and harder for her to brush aside as she cares for him more. Don't worry, though, I'm doing my very best to track the progress for us :)

Until Sumire announces that she and Ruka will be visiting him at the hospital since they’re such close friends of Natsume’s and everyone gets peeved that they can’t come too--because that’s where Reo is!

They really are all ten years old--that is fucking messed up.

Mikan is jealous, like everyone else, that Sumire is going instead of her, but not because she wants to visit Natsume--just because she wants to catch a glimpse of Reo, whose work she’s still unfamiliar with.

Hotaru is their saving grace, of course. She has invented very handy spy gear to help them infiltrate the hospital and catch some photos of Reo. They make it pretty far until Mikan and Hotaru choose to split up.

Mikan realizes that she’s in the east wing, the same part of the hospital that Natsume is staying in. She decides that she’s going to check in on him real quick. She assures herself that she’s not worried, but it is unusual for him to be sick (no, it’s not). The thing is that, despite herself, she is worried. He may be a jerk, but she’s seen signs of a hidden depth to him. She doesn’t want him to be sick or unwell (this sentiment naturally gets stronger as the story moves along). I’m not sure what she was planning on saying to him when she saw him, but she has every intention of dropping by just to see how he’s doing.

It could just be guilt because the dodgeball game was her idea. But she doesn't seem guilty here, just concerned. She comes up with excuses for going to see him, even just to herself, which makes me think this is out of genuine care. She always distances herself from feelings about him, like here, which I will go into more detail on later, mostly in the Z Arc. Her feelings for him--in whatever capacity--are confusing and weird, so she'd rather disregard them. For all of her curiosity about others, she sure doesn't like to examine herself too closely.

Until she runs into Sumire, who’s armed with an autograph book and a camera. Mikan puts two and two together and deduces that she didn’t only stop by to see Natsume.

The mood flips when Permy sees Reo enter Natsume’s room, leaving it guarded.

They’re concerned, because that’s not normal, so they decide to look in through the outside window, just to see Reo knocking Natsume out and then having him teleported to the trunk of his car.

Yet another trauma to add to the list: watching a classmate get chloroformed and kidnapped.

Mikan is stunned, staring into the room and confused about what she just witnessed. But Sumire doesn’t hesitate: she darts off. She doesn’t get it either, but she knows that what they just witnessed was a crime, and they have to stop Reo. At first, it’s Sumire who’s being proactive, instantly approaching a teacher to explain what happened. Nobody ever takes kids seriously, especially the teachers at this wack school, so Sumire is threatened with punishment.

Mikan can see that Reo is about to get away, so she takes advantage of another skill she has: brawn. She hits the teacher with her backpack and is able to make a run for it with Sumire. They’re able to follow Reo’s car outside in the knick of time.

I like this beginning moment because it demonstrates their personalities and approaches to danger quite well, where Sumire acts first after witnessing the kidnapping, but by immediately going to a teacher. Meanwhile, Mikan (who is usually impulsive and quick to act) bizarrely hesitates before making a move, but ultimately can see that the teachers are of no help and that they need to put matters into their own hands. This will come up in the Z Arc as well.

This is the start of a very important arc. Mikan will learn a lot about both Sumire and Natsume, two classmates of hers that she doesn’t like at all. By the end of the arc, she won’t dislike either of them, but will instead count them as friends.

Chapter Fourteen

Mikan and Sumire immediately start bickering. Their working together is what helped them escape in the first place, but now that they’re successfully out, they’re at each other’s throats again. And this distraction is what gets them caught. They’re saved by Ruka, but there’s still the question of finding Reo’s car and catching up to it. This spurs Sumire into using her alice for the first time in the manga. It’s incredibly useful, and combined with Hotaru’s muscle patches, it helps them get pretty far in tracking Reo.

Mikan would much prefer this pursuit be by car, though, because they’re both tired and catching up on foot is difficult. But Sumire snaps at her that involving other people in this would be dangerous. They’re special, as Alices, which means they have different responsibilities, including keeping innocent people safe and not involving them with dangerous kidnappers.

What I like about Sumire is that all of her personality traits are double-sided. Her feeling of Alice supremacy is simultaneously rooted in elitism and concern for non-Alices. The "new side" we see in this arc is not the appearance of new traits, just new perspectives. Sumire's strengths are her weaknesses, bla bla bla, so on and so forth.

It’s this exchange that helps Mikan see a new side to Sumire too. She may be elitist about her alice status, but she also has concern for others’ safety that not even Mikan had considered. She is surprised, but this changes her views on her classmate. Sumire was the first between them to run after Reo and take action, even when Mikan was frozen with shock, and she’s the one speaking up about being responsible now. There’s good to her.

But they both get kidnapped too. Add one more trauma to the list.

Mikan wakes up to some peculiar scents and to the feeling of someone’s breathing. When she opens her eyes, she sees that she’s mere inches from Natsume’s face. She jumps away in shock. She and Sumire have both been kidnapped and tied up, just like Natsume. They wanted to save him, but now they’re in just as much trouble as he is. They can only gather so much about their new surroundings before Reo comes by and they pretend to sleep.

What exactly am I supposed to take away from this panel? Like, obviously I know that they're only this close incidentally but still! There had to be a reason to include this nonsense. They didn't have to be this close.

Reo is not an easy villain. The manga did not dabble with some cartoonish evil. This guy is willing to chloroform and kidnap kids. He’s engaging in child trafficking, with commandeering a child soldier for his organization. This is what we might call a “terrorist group,” and Reo is so focused on killing the evil academy that he can’t see how much bad he’s doing that is on a similar level.

Irrelevant.

Mikan and her classmates are in serious danger and it’s hard not to be terrified when the situation seems so bleak.

This being said, Mikan’s POV is nowhere near as dismal as Natsume’s. Mikan, even in a situation as dangerous as this one, can’t fathom that they won’t somehow be able to escape. It’ll be hard and scary, but Mikan doesn’t worry that she could die or actually be sold. Whereas Natsume wakes up into this situation resigned to the fact that he’ll probably die tonight, Mikan still has hope even when it seems they don’t have a shot.

All they can do is listen for now as Reo talks to his subordinates, who inform him that the boss is not happy with his brash actions.

In the anime, Reo is sent by Z to kidnap Natsume. Everything he does, from the very beginning, is with that aim in mind. He expresses dissatisfaction with the higher ups in his own organization. But in the manga, Reo decides to kidnap Natsume on a whim. He saw him by chance and then things spiraled until he had managed to kidnap three different kids. Reo is desperate for his boss’s approval, acting above and beyond what is expected so that he can get… praise, maybe? He likes his boss, and getting his disapproval now only further encourages him to prove that this was not a bad idea.

He affirms that he’ll get Natsume to join their group and that the girls will be sold overseas as soon as their alices are figured out.

Reo approaches, kicking at Natsume with his shoe, musing about the Black Cat.

What's interesting is that because we rarely get details on his missions, we have no way of knowing if Natsume does murder people. I would guess yes, because the DA class has in the past forced children to murder (Persona killing Izumi--intentional on the ESP's part even if it was an accident) and is implied to have forced children into sexual situations (namely Luna who was groomed and Narumi who was made to use his alice on grown adults) so it wouldn't be uncharacteristic. Even Yuka killed people by taking "their souls" in their old age via stealing their alices. A little tangent. The DA class is a human rights violation.

Mikan and Sumire are unfamiliar with Natsume’s black ops identity, with his secret life of child soldiering. But Reo isn’t. Natsume is the bane of their organization, he explains, a boy so strong he can regularly overpower the alice-limiting cat mask he wears on missions (and in fact never takes the mask off during missions). But even more than that: when he was eight years old, he set his entire hometown ablaze. According to Reo, Natsume was sent to the academy instead of prison, where he was given the chance to be “rehabilitated,” only to act as a spy and antagonize all the school’s enemies.

That’s what the DA class is, after all: a spy-training organization.

Mikan and Sumire are shocked at what they’ve just heard.

Mikan thinks back on all the rumors she’s heard about him, that he’s a murderer, that he hates the academy. He has a power he doesn’t want. It all seems to click into place, more puzzle pieces aligning themselves to make a clearer picture of Natsume.

Until Sumire snaps that Natsume is not that kind of person. She’s sure that Reo is lying, and Mikan is then reminded of Ruka’s words, when he told her not to say bad things about Natsume.

Natsume has apologists and haters, and then he has Mikan, who cannot help but see good and bad and is endlessly confused by the paradox of his being.

Natsume is a jerk, for sure, and certainly not her favorite person.

But he also plays with animals and babysits his younger classmate. He can smile sometimes.

Whether or not it’s true is unimportant: even if he is a spy, he’s still her classmate, her partner.

So they have to escape, all together, because they came all this way to save Natsume, and there’s no reason why they would back out now. (Again demonstrating how powerful her optimism is--she cannot imagine that this mission of theirs will fail. They came here for a reason, therefore it will all turn out okay.)

Chapter Fifteen

Their escape plan isn’t really going anywhere until Natsume wakes up. They’re relieved to see that he’s up and okay, but despite the dire situation, the scene manages to stay silly, with Mikan trying to gnaw Sumire’s ropes off. It’s Natsume, who just woke up, who brings attention to Mikan’s earmuffs, which she suddenly remembers are for communication.

I’ll get into this more during the Z Arc, but Mikan gets little glimpses here that Natsume is different, especially since Reo just shared his DA activities. The idea that his life is miles away from anything she could imagine is fresh in her mind. Mikan and Sumire are innocent kids who got nobly but still naively involved in a very dangerous situation that they still don’t fully appreciate; Natsume is so used to being in this kind of situation that he can focus on what’s relevant.

They’re able to get into contact with Narumi, who urges them to keep pretending to sleep and to have Natsume burn off their binds. He keeps on talking, giving them advice on how to maneuver their dangerous situation as Natsume does as he’s told, burning his own binds and then moving to untie Mikan’s. She’s preoccupied with him, since he looks so obviously unwell. He looks even sicker after having used his alice, and she’s concerned about him. It’s intriguing that even though they’re all in a dangerous situation, it’s specifically Natsume’s visible illness that concerns her. It is so important, in fact, that worrying about Natsume takes precedence over really listening to what Narumi is saying. It’s important that Mikan specifically is worried about Natsume, that it’s her who shows concern and gets distracted.

Mikan sees that Natsume uses his alice (able to overpower an alice barrier, thus demonstrating his seemingly limitless power) and then gets sicker. Classic symptoms of the fourth alice shape. Only thing is that she doesn't actually know what that is yet. All in due time.

She’s distracted enough that she gets caught. Reo swoops in and swipes the earmuffs. He mouths off to Narumi and then tosses the earmuffs aside. He has bigger fish to fry, like finally figuring out what the girls’ alices are. He uses his own alice to get Sumire to confess that she’s a somatic ability type. Mikan has the nullification alice, which is effective against pheromones, so she tries to snap Sumire out of it. To distract from that, Natsume throws something to move their attention.

Mikan always prioritizes her friends over herself. She and Natsume have this in common, even just in this scene, where Natsume the martyr chooses the girls’ well-being over his own because he knows he probably won’t survive this anyway. The difference between them, though, is that at the moment, Mikan is so concerned about Sumire and later Natsume, that she can’t think about her own well-being. Her concern for others overrides her ability to even consider herself. She doesn’t view her actions here as sacrificing her own safety; it’s simply the right thing to do, which makes it the only thing she can do. She doesn’t even consider staying quiet because it never occurs to her that she can or should.

Natsume is apparently weak. He was hospitalized for a reason and their current predicament doesn’t change the fact that he’s still exhausted and unwell. But he’s still taking Reo's attention on purpose to protect the girls. Mikan watches as Reo taunts him with the promise of working for his organization instead of the school that he hates so much. Natsume smacks him off but before Reo can retaliate, Mikan throws herself between them, pushing Reo away.

She protects first, thinks of consequences later.

Why should Natsume have to listen to all of this? He’s sick! Mikan can see that he was trying to protect them, even in his weak state. She sees that someone who is suffering is being mistreated and overpowered and once again, it’s simply not an option to sit still. Mikan is impulsive so she often does the first thing that pops into her mind, and the first thing that pops into her mind here is to protect Natsume. She doesn’t wait long enough to consider the consequences of her actions, both because of her impulsivity, and because acting on this feels right. She just wants to stick up for her partner, to keep him from being mistreated by Reo. But she gets caught as a nullification alice in the process. Reo confuses her with his instant fascination, claiming that she even looks like “that woman” from ten years ago, and thus he commands his subordinates to research what they can about “that woman.”

Mikan only ever gets glimpses into information about herself. Nobody’s about to share what they know with her here, even though it clearly concerns her. Again, Mikan is often left in the dark in this way, both maintaining a sense of mystery for the reader while also making Mikan uninformed about herself. The thing is--and this will become more clear later--that Mikan isn’t so stupid that she can’t hear. All she has to go off of in regards to her potential parentage are little dropped hints like this, little suggestions of a dark history with no solid basis for her to go off of. Mikan acts happy-go-lucky, but an emotionally intuitive girl like her can tell that this information is important, even if it is limited. We’ll see more evidence later that Mikan isn’t simply being talked at; she is intaking the information. She just doesn’t have time to focus on it right now when other stuff is going on.

After all, Mikan can only afford to be confused for a moment. They’re finally left alone, and this is their chance to act. Sumire learns that they’re by the ocean, that there’s a warehouse with dynamite a little ways away, and that there’s nobody else around to save them.

So Natsume tells them to run for it. He can take care of himself, after all, and they’re just burdens on him.

Yet another example of Natsume being good--proving Ruka right. He is more than just a cold, heartless jerk. Ahh he only becomes more complicated!

They do run at his command, until he calls attention to himself, distracting Reo and his colleagues. He threatens to blow up the dynamite nearby if they move an inch and makes it clear that he’s not bluffing. He summons a fire in his hand to prove that. He’s so powerful he could overpower his mask, Misaki-sensei warned her when she first met him. And now Reo said that he regularly does on missions, to the point that his enemies only know him by his black cat mask. And now he demonstrates that he can summon a sizable flame while running on nothing but fumes. She saw him just a moment ago, when he burned the ropes, that he was exhausted by even the smallest use of alice. She can tell that this cannot be easy for him, even if he looks calm and collected.

But then he shouts at them again to run and they have no choice but to obey.

The girls are escaping, and Sumire is proactive again, thinking about what they’ll do next and how to find the academy. She stays on the mission Natsume gave them and is intent on listening, convinced that they can find someone who will help them and rescue Natsume. She trusts that Natsume knows what he’s doing, that he’ll be okay.

That’s the problem: Sumire can’t fathom that Natsume is involved with black ops because he’s a good person, and she chooses to trust him for a similar reason. He wouldn’t do something he didn’t want to do. He is good and smart and that means that he will be okay, that he’ll get out of this safely.

But Mikan has no such delusions. She knows that Natsume is a complicated person--he confuses her on a near-daily basis. He could be involved in some shady underground spy activity. He could be an arsonist or a murderer. That still wouldn’t make him black or white. For as cruel as some of his actions have been, she’s also seen sides of good to him.

But she also watched him just now too.

He was very sick, and she’s been worried about him all this time. She doubts he’d be able to escape on his own the way he promised. He threatened to blow himself up with the rest of them, and even showed off that he could do it, that he could use his alice even with a barrier, even with his illness.

Mikan saves his life through a cocktail of Natsume skepticism and intuition. There's really no evidence that he should be trusted here.

Mikan’s most spectacular trait, her intuition, kicks in again.

She doesn’t trust Natsume.

She doesn’t think he’ll be able to make it out alive.

She has a bad feeling and she trusts it, pulling her into turning back around and toward the warehouse that she just left.

She could be home free, back to the academy. She doesn’t even like Natsume that much anyway. Who really cares? Why would she go back to the scary place she just escaped instead of heading further towards the promise of safety?

Because she trusts the feeling in her gut that tells her that if she doesn’t go back for Natsume, she’ll never see him again.

And he’s her partner, damn it!

This is a huge difference between the manga and the anime, I believe. The manga here portrays Sumire’s trust in Natsume’s character as sweet and noble but ultimately misled. Meanwhile, the anime seems to put stock in her statement. Natsume is far too good a person to do such things, she says--and it must be true. The anime makes it a point to have Natsume state that he never does missions he disagrees with or that he’s morally against. Natsume is too good a person!

But the manga stresses that it doesn’t matter how good a person Natsume is, he doesn’t have a fucking choice in the matter. He wouldn’t do it if he had the choice not to--not any of it. But he doesn’t have a choice. Thus Natsume, who is a good person at heart, has actually done terrible things for the school. He has bloodied his hands on their orders and blackened his own heart in the process, leading him to become cold and miserable.This is why Mikan goes back and not Sumire. Sumire looks at Natsume and sees a cute classmate she has a crush on, who is intelligent and talented and good. She looks at him and sees stars. But Mikan sees more. She knows he’s capable of good as well as bad. She can see--even if she doesn’t fully articulate this thought--that Natsume might be the product of his situation in some ways. It’s clear he’s involved in some messed up stuff, so she doesn’t trust him. She doesn’t see stars when she looks at Natsume; she sees a person.

Chapter Sixteen

Mikan is not Sumire. She doesn’t trust that Natsume will be okay. She’s got the feeling that he’s gonna try to blow himself up to let the two of them escape, and that’s not an acceptable option for her. She’s heading back, because Natsume’s gonna kill himself to save them, and she can’t allow that to happen.

She catches him at the last possible second. She was right not to trust him!

He’s about to do it: kill himself.

She tackles him and nullifies the flame waiting in his hand and whatever flames were bound to follow.

"Did you seriously want to kill yourself?!" Read my Natsume essay for the answer (spoiler: it's yes).

Mikan instantly berates him, now that they’re on the ground and no warehouses have exploded. He was really gonna kill himself. Does he want to die? Mikan can’t understand that, because if he could see why Sumire and Mikan deserved to escape, then he should want that for himself too! How can someone see value in others, and not in himself?? (Hmm, Mikan, I wonder.)

Reo takes advantage of Natsume’s current state to scream at him to submit. Mikan catches him in her arms, holding him up. Then Reo taunts Mikan that she ruined Natsume’s plan. Now that she’s back, it’s all for nothing.

Natsume asks why she came back, but all Mikan can answer is that she was worried. She had to come back because he is her partner. She didn’t think about it; it was an impulsive choice but it wasn’t a choice at all. Again, she becomes so concerned for her friends at times that self-preservation does not even occur to her. What matter is saving Natsume, so she will act to do that, without considering that she could be hurt. And she says it so matter-of-factly: “I had to come back. You’re my partner.” Like it’s stupid he would even ask. What else was she supposed to do?

Not "I won't leave you behind," but "I can't leave you behind." This wasn't optional.

You can plan a million AUs for this manga, with hundreds of different decisions divulging into a million different outcomes. But there will never be a universe where Mikan doesn’t come back for Natsume. It would never occur to her to leave him behind. (Perhaps, it's in this way that they are fated.)

It’s too late to think back on that now anyway. She had to come back, because he’s her partner. That word might not mean anything to him, but he’s her idle puzzle, a little mystery she’s been trying to figure out after getting occasional tidbits of insight into what makes him tick. She still doesn’t fully get him: the black ops thing just blurs things even more, but she knows that he doesn’t deserve to die alone in a warehouse just to make sure she and Sumire get out okay. He deserves to live too.

Reo is sick of their “flirting,” so he commands his subordinates to capture them, but he had accidentally affected them with his alice earlier too, so they’re out of commission for the moment.

Mikan is resourceful. She’s the one to take advantage of the confusion this time, throwing dry cement into Reo’s face and dragging Natsume out of the warehouse with her.

Mikan does this all on instinct, because she can’t fathom not doing it. But the fact of the matter is that she just saved a person’s life with her alice. Moreover, she’s still protecting him, acting as the only barrier between life and death for him. If she hadn’t come back, he’d be dead. Like he was the first real example of what her alice can do, he’s also the most glaring example of how valuable her alice is, how much of a medicine it can be. Mikan doesn’t really think of any of this right away and she’ll continue to feel down on herself for all the things her alice can’t do instead of focusing on all the good it can do (but Natsume will know better).

Hotaru used her alice to help them earlier, with the earmuffs and spy gear. Ruka helped too, distracting the teachers so Sumire and Mikan can get away. Sumire helped, using her own alice, even if she is insecure about it, to find Natsume. Natsume used his alice to get them free. And Mikan finished it, using her own alice to save his life.

But it’s even more than just her alice--her personality, her optimism, loyalty, empathy, intuition, curiosity--all of it is what kept him from dying. If Mikan wasn’t Mikan, Natsume would have died. She’s the only one who would have gone back, even with such little information. She’s the only one who would have thought to.

This is what I think the story means by them being fated. The timing, sure, the way others pair them off, yeah, but also this. They are “meant to be together” insofar as Natsume is destined to fall in love with the person who saves him and Mikan is the one who saves him because she is herself; just like she falls in love with him because of who he is. (This makes sense in my head but is so difficult to put into words, but I’m trying my best.) Miriam-Webster defines a soulmate as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.” Though there’s a lot of definitions and concepts like love or soulmates can be difficult to define because they encompass such abstract topics, I’ll use this one, even if it’s not precisely what I want to convey here. They are suited for each other perfectly because Natsume needs someone who is curious and doesn’t take him at face value; she gets conflicting information so she looks harder until she can see things he’d rather keep a secret. Because she’s unique in this way, she’s the only one who would have come back for him in these circumstances. If fate is an agent here, it is simply setting pieces on the board--nobody is compelled to act or feel beyond what they choose. If this is incomprehensible, I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know how to better articulate this idea.

She lugs him along, but he’s weak and slow and they’re not getting very far. He’s heavy too, causing her to eventually slip and fall down some stairs. Natsume suggests she get out of here and leave him behind, but Mikan refuses. They bicker for a moment until she shouts that she won’t do that. Even if she could, she wouldn’t. She came back for Natsume. This whole day has been about saving Natsume. Everyone has been working hard to bring him back safely. She won’t give up, no matter what, especially since they’ve come so far. As I’ve said a hundred times, Mikan can’t imagine giving up!

Thinking really hard about how little she thought about any of this.

Mikan doesn't fully comprehend why Natsume would be willing to do what he almost did. Mikan has never given up in her life, and she’s not gonna start now, not even on him. And she doesn’t understand why he’d be willing to give up, not just on his own life, but on all their friends’ work to bring him back home.

There’s a panel of Natsume, playing with the dog, then the word, “spy.” Natsume remains an incongruity, a mystery, a mess of mixed messaging. She sees good amongst the bad, even if Reo wasn’t lying. But that also means that he should, that his future might have just enough good in it to make it worth it. She doesn’t fully get him, but she doesn’t have to. She knows enough to know he matters enough to save.

They’re about to be caught, so Mikan doubles down. She picks up a pipe and prepares for a fight. She’s a little girl with a pipe but she’s gonna protect him. She’s not gonna give up. There’s a future waiting for both of them. “Let’s go back to the academy together.” Because once she got it in her mind that she was going to save Natsume, there was no way she’d go back without having done so.

Natsume sees the situation is hopeless so he gives up and nearly kills himself; Mikan sees the situation is tricky so she grabs a pipe. Nothing is ever hopeless, even if it looks that way. This situation is no safer now than ever, but she's gonna fight 'til the end. After all, her optimism often pans out, time and time again.

They get found and Mikan attacks the guy. But she’s sadly overpowered quickly and thrown against the wall. It hurts, but she’ll live. But before she can start moving again, Natsume is screaming and suddenly setting off an explosion.

Little bit of an overreaction?

She comes to in a rush, demanding to know where Natsume is. When she’s finally calmed down, she finds out that everything is fine. Ruka thanks her for saving Natsume and on top of that she’s finally awarded her first star, promoting her to single star status!

She’s finally proven herself. She is a capable Alice, not just a stupid troublemaker, and she helped rescue somebody. She protected him and now she’s being rewarded for it. She’s just been through a traumatic ordeal, but in the end it all worked out. Things are looking up. It’s interesting how Mikan was just kidnapped but she can still look on the bright side. It takes a lot more than that to break her (but don’t worry, it will, eventually). Honestly I think this is in part due to the fact that Natsume and Mikan’s experiences just now were not the same; she did not view this event in the same dark way as he did. She never lost hope, while he instantly succumbed to the idea of dying. Additionally, everything did work out. It was scary, but all three kids were able to get out alive and with minimal damage. This was just a scary situation that the three of them were able to overcome.

We are officially past the expository stage of GA, now that Mikan is a real, bona fide Alice student.

On top of that, she was able to follow Narumi’s advice and the festival hasn’t even started yet: she did make more friends, and spent time with people she usually didn’t. She understands both Sumire and Natsume much better now. She was able to see how noble Sumire can be, how responsible and thoughtful she is, and how quick she can think on her feet, even in a tough spot. And she learned a lot about Natsume too, how he was willing to die to let the two of them get out safely, how much he struggles through his illness, but how strong he can be anyway. She also got some insight into the secret life he’s living, though she still doesn’t even know the half of it.

Though she considered these two both to be her worst enemies, they’re now people she’ll think of as friends, more or less, going forward.

So of course, the first thing she does when she gets her star is run to Natsume’s room to show him. Mikan slowly started to understand him and now he’s a friend. Just last week, she might have never even considered showing him her star. But things are different now; they’ve gone through shared trauma together, have helped rescue each other. She can’t imagine that they won’t be friends from now on. In her mind, everything--especially in regards to Natsume--is different now.

I think this arc cements the closing of the introductory part of the manga. We will still slowly be introduced to more concepts and lore, but this arc finishes up all the exposition, which is neatly symbolized by Mikan becoming a “real” Alice student and proving herself as valuable, getting her first star. It also does a good job of suggesting, and what I mean by that is:

Natsume and Ruka both have feelings for her now, which will be consistent for the rest of the manga, even if it isn’t explicitly said.

Both Natsume’s and Mikan’s complexes and insecurities have been fully introduced and will continue to be explored throughout the manga especially when it comes to their relationship (particularly their relationship with their alices and how important the other is in that regard).

It establishes that this manga is not actually a comedy and that terrible, dark things will happen. The Reo Arc is actually terrifying. Nothing that happens in this arc is normal or to be disregarded. Natsume almost killed himself. Reo wanted to sell Sumire and Mikan into the human trafficking trade. Natsume does black ops missions. This arc demonstrates not only that the manga can get dark, but that it is bound to get much darker. They can’t always get away unscathed after all.

AAJSKHJKFHJKAHDSJKSA. Ugh! No words.

Conclusion

This arc is really important for the both of them, both individually and for their relationship. I understand that Natsume falling in love with her in this arc might overshadow Mikan's own role here, but her own thoughts and feelings are just as central. After all, Natsume falls in love with her for a reason.

I had a lot of thoughts about this arc and their soulmate-ness that is demonstrated here, but thoughts like these are hard to put into words so I struggled a little with this analysis. Natsume is so much easier to write about sometimes. Mikan can be an enigma.

Tomorrow, we'll discuss the aftermath of this arc and particularly the fact that Mikan now views Natsume as a friend instead of an enemy, or at the very least someone she wants to befriend.

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