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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Star Child Part 2

Everyone loved the first part so much I thought I’d throw up the second one today as a treat.

This part is a little heavy, Steve talks about what happened to the Kings and it’s not pretty, so a warning for content.

Part 1

Eddie managed to shower and change and get down to the bar with barely a minute to spare. His hair is a little damp but there was no getting around that not if he wanted to be on time.

He had changed into more comfortable jeans, and put on a long-sleeved mesh crop top, and a denim vest over that. He pulled on a pair of combat boots to finish off the look.

He fussed with his hair as he scanned the crowd. And then he spotted him. Steve Harrington. Dressed in tight leather pants and a plain white t-shirt and matching sneaks.

Eddie’s brain nearly blue screened again. Fuck. It looked good on him.

He muscled his way through the crowd to stand in front of Steve.

“Hey!” Steve greeted warmly. “You made it!”

He turned and ordered them a couple of bottles of beer.

Eddie shrugged. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Steve matched his shrug with one of his own. “After how hard you guys rocked tonight, I don’t think I would have been able to do anything but crash. Especially since you guys did practically two sets tonight.”

He handed Eddie a bottle and took the other one for himself.

Eddie smiled. “Nah, we’re good. We often party afterwards.”

“To each their own, man,” Steve shaking his head and then took a sip of his beer.

Eddie laughed. “I think it would ruin people’s image of you if you went out partying after shows. Your main appeal is your hometown, boy next door, have your daughter home by nine kind of guy.”

Steve half shrugged. “Some days it chafes.”

“Is that why you chose to do a metal version of an alt rock song featuring the daughter of the king of pop?” Eddie asked with a wink.

Steve laughed. “Something like that.”

Eddie bit his lip for a moment. “Have you thought about branching out? Becoming more like Timberlake than Styles?”

“Moving outside the genre that catapulted me to stardom you mean?” Steve asked.

“Why not? People have been successful at it before,” Eddie reminded him. “Because, dude, if pop music chafes, stop doing it.”

“Maybe after this last album,” Steve said. “I’m under contract for one more and then maybe I’ll color outside the lines.”

Eddie nodded. Contracts were a bitch. “So you talk with the Kings anymore?” he asked to fill the silence that had stretched between them after that conversation stopper.

Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “Billy died from an overdose about a year after we broke up. Tommy is in jail for beating his wife, Carol right before the Grammy’s last year. And Jonathan is dating my ex, and my agent tells me that there are wedding bells on the horizon. So no. I don’t speak to them anymore.”

“Holy shit!” Eddie said. “What the hell happened?”

“We were underage when we became famous,” Steve murmured. “So our parents took control of everything the first couple of years and pushed us too hard. Jonathan was the only one to survive because his mom made sure his dad couldn’t touch shit and shielded him from the worst the business had to offer.”

“You including yourself in the parents are shit pile?” Eddie asked.

“My parents were the worst because they looked respectable,” Steve said, “But both of them are among the worst people to walk this planet.”

“There’s a story there,” Eddie said, bumping into Steve shoulder, “come on. Spill.”

Steve looked around him and then leaned in so only Eddie could hear. “They tried to have me committed when I didn’t want to do what they wanted.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “Seriously, the fuck?”

Steve nodded. “Nearly succeeded, too. If it wasn’t for my best friend intervening and becoming my manager. Robin saved my life.” He sighed heavily and looked down at his beer.

“You know what you need right now?” Eddie asked with a big grin.

“What’s that?” Steve cocked his head to the side.

“To let loose on the dance floor!”

Eddie grabbed his hand and led him out to the middle of floor and began dancing.

Steve laughed and then joined in. Letting his worries slide away with the beat of the music.

Eddie kept going back to the bar for liquid courage to ask this beautiful boy if he would come back to his hotel room with him. But after the fourth shot and third beer, Eddie was too tipsy for anything even to close to sex, much less standing upright.

As Steve found out as he tried to get the front man back to his hotel room. Eddie was all over Steve, giggling and shoving his hair in his mouth.

Steve shook his head, a fond smile on his face. He managed to get them to his room without either of them falling down.

“You’re very pretty,” Eddie giggled.

Steve laughed, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “You, on the other hand, is absolutely gorgeous.”

Eddie blushed deeply.

“Where is your hotel key, dude?” Steve asked.

“Pocket!” Eddie pressed his lips together and batted his eyelashes at him.

“Which one?” Steve asked.

Eddie just leaned forward for a kiss and Steve dodged, patting down the pockets in the vest with no luck, finding only the man’s car keys.

He reached around to feel up Eddie’s back pockets, looking for the wallet and trying very hard not to linger.

Eddie only made the temptation that much harder when he canted his hips into Steve’s, seeking friction.

Steve had to close his eyes and take deep breath. His hands slid to the front of Eddie’s pants and found the wallet in the right pocket, his cell phone in his left.

“Why don’t you have your wallet in your back pocket like a normal person?” Steve asked, chuckling.

“Thiefy heads trying to steal it, so usually on a chain, but going to unknown bar went for front pocket instead.”

Steve smiled at him. “Duly noted.” He opened the wallet, fishing out the key card and opened the door. He half carried the very drunk Eddie to the bed and flopped him face first into the covers.

Steve put his hands on his hips and looked around at the suite. It had it’s own sitting room and a door that led to a large bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi style bathtub. “Damn, Robin is slacking, if this the is kind of room your manager can get for you.”

Eddie rolled over on his back and looked up at Steve with a grin. “And I don’t hafta share!”

“You are a menace, Munson,” Steve murmured. He began unlacing the boots and pulled them off. “Come on, get under the covers, you dork.”

Eddie leaned up and crooked his finger at Steve. Steve leaned forward.

“Not dork, nerd!” he whispered and giggled. But before Steve could straighten up, Eddie grabbed him and pulled him on the bed.

Steve laughed.

Eddie kissed him, but Steve managed to get away.

“Why...” Eddie huffed, pouting.

Steve booped his nose. “Because I have it on very good authority that you won’t remember this in the morning and I want you to remember.”

Eddie grumbled as Steve pulled the blankets over him.

Steve put Eddie’s boots by the door and put the keys, phone, and wallet on the small table next to the sofa.

Eddie mumbled something and Steve went over to the bed to make out what he was saying.

“Who’s authority? Who says I won’t remember. I could, you don’t know.”

Steve brushed Eddie’s hair out his face and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Mine.”

Steve slipped out the door to a snoring Eddie.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: @bejeweledbaby @avacrebs @eboyawstenn @moonshadows-13 @goodolefashionedloverboi @linkydinky06 @ohlook-afrog @livelaughlexa @spectrum-spectre @cutepumpkin4 @whatthemeepever

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #rockstar au #song fic #ladykailtiha writes

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 19 days

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hai ariiiiii :3 guess whos SICK . me . im sick

ANYWAY thinking abt sugubooboo taking care of u while sick ,,,,,,,,

u kno when u get that feeling ur gonna b sick in the morning the night b4 it all hits ? i think sugu picks up on that after u blow ur nose one 2 many times n he asks if ur okay

ur not. obviously . so he heats up some nice peppermint tea, and something my mom does when im sick is take some honey, mix it w ginger powder + some other stuff thats good 4 ur throat and make me eat a spoonful of it [its gross as HELLLL i hate it but i feel a lil better afterwards] then tucks u in2 bed [later after uve fallen asleep he calls out of work for tomorrow, he REFUSES to leave u alone + sick]

the next morning ur properly Sick and suguru wakes u up w breakfast in bed, all warm foods infused with clove, mint, ginger, and sets a few packs of tissues next 2 the bed

after uve eaten he lays in bed w u 4 a bit, kissing your head and fiddling w ur hands. eventually u ask abt work, he said he called out 4 both u n him.

he trusts u 2 take a shower on ur own, but when u get out hes holding a towel and wraps u in it immediately then just hovers around u as u do ur morning routine, making sure youre okay n not abt 2 like . pass out or smthn

once ur dressed and fully cocooned in the bed once again, suguru pours out some cold medicine 4 u and hands u water once that NASTY liquid slides down ur throat. he gives u a lil candy as a palate cleanser tho, hes not mean

i think after that u just fall in and out of sleep 4 teh rest of the day until u get hungry again or need another dose of medicine. sometimes u wake up 2 suguru humming and playing w ur hair while he reads a book, sometimes he joins u and takes a nap w u. the only time u wake up alone is when its lunch or dinner n hes in the kitchen making smthn spicy 2 open ur sinuses

everytime u take a dose of medicine, he kisses you on the lips then pushes a glass of water in one hand n some candy in the other. hed probably mumble 'good job' or smthn like that in2 the top of ur head as he cuddles u while ur trying 2 get the taste out of ur mouth

he does NOT care if u sneeze n get snot all over him, puke on him if u have a stomach bug, cough in his face, or r generally disheveled. u could never disgust him.

if its sunny out, hell offer 2 take u outside just 4 a lil bit. if u dont think u can walk hes gonna pick u up. no complaining u NEED that sun, hell argue while sliding the patio door open

youll sit out 4 a bit, soaking up the sunshine then when u want 2 go back 2 bed hell carry u back and gently tuck u in2 bed

if ur 2 weak 2 even blow ur nose, hes holding the tissue 2 ur nose n waiting 4 u 2 blow. the chapstick might b all the way across the room n ur savior ends up being suguru and his long legs. the temp in the house is 2 hot? hes turning the a/c down and all the fans r coming 2 ur room bcuz he knows how slow the heating n cooling takes 2 change.

also everytime he walks in2 the room, hes asking how r u? do u need anything? does anything hurt too much? and he probably has smthn 4 u 2 do so ur not on ur phone all day [guess . guess who was on their phone all day . ME]

at the very end of the day, hes got u curled up in his lap on the bed, INCREDIBLY comfortable, and theres some movie on the tv in the bedroom. like juno or some other feel good indie movie. sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries. since its past dinner time, he gives u lil candied ginger pieces 2 help w ur throat n other snacks 2 go w the movie.

eventually u fall asleep in his arms in the middle of the movie, smothered in warmth on all sides.

OKAY . WOW . moving on, HOW WAS UR DAY ARI ??? tell me abt that book ur reading rn !! u seem very enthusiastic abt it, id luv 2 know y ^_^ ! [personally my day was . ouchie . and ive got a book abt decolonialism checked out from the library rn :3]

ASHLEY !!!!!!!!! i’m answering this kinda late i hope your cold is gone by now 😔😔😔

BUT . GODDDDDDDDDD ARE YOU OUT TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BE HONEST . how did you know sugu sickfics are my greatest weakness………… (i actually have . a whole fic just like this that i wrote a year ago or so 😭😭 YOU MADE ME WANNA GO BACK N READ IT HHHH this is very bad for my weak suguloving heart….) I’M JUST. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAYY. you keep serving me meals on a silver platter n i’m just?!?!! eating gratefully …. thank you……

NO BC YOU’RE SOOOOO RIGHT YOU’RE SO OBJECTIVELY CORRECT :((((((( HE’S. THE SWEETEST. the best bf around !!!!!! he’s so good at caring for you when you’re sick…. sniffle……. AND OFCCCC HE’D PICK UP ON IT INSTANTLY TOO. his sixth sense is so crazy accurate when it comes to his baby </33333 and wahhh him making you tea and tucking you in and calling in sick for you 🥺🥺🥺 he just wants you to feel better……

WAKING YOU UP . W BREAKFAST IN BED. WHAT IF I CRYYYYY THIS CONCEPT IS SO DEAR TO MY HEART ASHLEY ….. and him just. hovering around you. i feel like he would stand outside the bathroom while you shower just in case you were to fall over or smth…….. he’s so caring :(((( and wrapping you up in a towel…… cocooning you into bed. sniffle. i need him to baby me sooooo bad it’s not a want it’s a need …… he rlly would stay by your side the Whole time………… cooks for you and tends to you and makes sure you’re okay . he’s so good. i feel like he kind of really loves it too….. he doesn’t love that you’re sick BUT . he loves being allowed to take care of you :’3 loves making you feel better.

ALSOOO him kissing you and praising you whenever you take your medicine T_T oughhhhhhhh one kiss on the forehead + ”good girl/boy” from him and i would be OUT like a light. collapsed. fainted. he would be so good at coaxing you into taking it ……… ANDDDDD the part abt you never disgusting him. SO true. you could never ever disgust him he just wants you to be okay…….. forcing you out into the sunlight………… asking if you need anything……………. making sure you aren’t bored…………………. ohhhhh he’s 2 perfect we need to put him down.

sugurus just kissing u everywhere on ur face and clutching u tight 2 him because u got super clingy after he had 2 run out 4 last minute groceries.

AND THEN . YOU TOP IT OFF WITH THIS. ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ THIS MADE ME MELT….. i’m so…………. i have so many thoughts abt this. sugu would LOVE a clingy s/o but i keep specifically thinking of him w an s/o who’s shy w physical affection.,,,, and how he’d react when they get sick and suddenly get all cuddly . 🥺 he would love it so much. kisses you all over and holds you soooo tight and he’s just!!!!! so enamored!!!!!!!!! you’re like a lil koala. he loves you. sob.

WAHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ABSOLUTE MEAL MY BELOVED i’m not exaggerating btw this is gonna feed my sugu thoughts for weeks to come…… AND MY DAY WAS GOOD!!!! i’m sorry to hear your day was ouchie </3 i hope it’s all better now!!! pls make sure to rest and eat properly <33 it’s what sugu would want for you!!!!!

AND . THE BOOK. YES. it’s called giovanni’s room by james baldwin and it’s sooooo <33333 yeah. it’s so good. i LOVE baldwin’s prose so much??????? and the story is just . AUGH. i’m still not finished but i’m so obsessed. it’s basically abt a closeted guy in like … the 1800s-1900s? who goes on vacation in paris while his girlfriend is in spain. and he meets this rlly mysterious charming italan barman called giovanni……….. the book is abt their relationship + their own experiences w homosexuality + their tragic ending (it’s revealed at the very beginning of the book that giovanni will meet his end by the guillotine)…..

so it’s just . yeah. it’s such a gorgeous book :’3 and just so . idk. raw? visceral?? i love giovanni a lot. and more than anything i loves james baldwin <333 i’m planning to buy another of his books too!!!! it’s called tell me how long the train’s been gone :3 I RLLY RECOMMEND BOTH OF THEM!!! i hope the book you just got ends up being good too <33

#MWAH one big forehead kiss for you!!!#thank you again for this i’m slurping all ur sugu thoughts up through a big straw :333 #sniffleeee i love him so much………#pls take care of yourself!!!!!! 😭 i’m chasing your sickness away w a pitchfork…. hopefully it’s all gone now tho…………#sending you allllll my coziest vibes <3333 #ask tag ✩#ashley !! ✩

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deviliciousnavy · 2 years

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Alrighty!! Time for part 2 of Monkie Kid season 3 special talk for ep 3 and 4!! This time gonna talk in general rather than in order of the events.

🚨SPOILERS AHEAD!🚨

Well for starters Macaque was ICONIC here!! Also adorablex3 From his expressions to his redemption (which we'll prob see more of next season x3) I LITERALLY DIED WHEN I SAW HIM TIED UP LIKE OMG MY BOY XDDDD also don't get me started on how gentle he was with lbd's host. WELCOME TO THE DAD SQUAD MY MAN!!

Edit: I totally forgot to add the "hero and warrior" part huh? ^^' that was also one of the best parts of the episode! The fact that Macaque kept saying "I'm not a hero" because he doesn't SEE himself as one. So MK sees what this is about and tells him to be a warrior! That hit so hard it killed me qwq and his face while MK said that it looked so puuuure TwT (I'll also like to add the amazing moment with both of them transforming at the same time they looked so cooooooolx33)

I'll also gonna go ahead and say I DIED from the dragonfruit content we got like, "don't you give up on me dragon girl!" I JUST CAN'T!! He was so worried the entire time for MeiTwT AND HE GRABBED HER BY THE CHEEKS! NOT EVEN THE SHOULDER THE CHEEKS!! AND HE CALLED HER BY NAME! HE HASN'T CALLED ALMOST ANYONE BY NAME!! and then the hug at the end omG I'M GONNA CRY!!! He was leaning on her tooooo QwQ the shippers ate good those 2 days UwU

Let's also talk about the interactions we had with Macaque and Wukong cause I honestly loved every second of it! I'll be real I don't really ship it, I mostly see them as a sibling dynamic. I was super excited with the fight scene and the fact that we had some parallels from their first fight!! (now if that was on purpose for us to talk about or to make the animation quicker idcUwU) I'll add here the fact that we FINALLY got to see the monkey king use his freaking laser eyes!! I seriously got hyped there!! X3 and then we go towards the end with them bickering like the bros they are XDD it was super adorable and it killed me how cute and funny it was! I also appreciate how they didn't go with saying "I'm nothing like him" at the same time, making it more realistic!

Now going to the epic final fight!! It was truly a sight to behold!! The way we got everyone helping out was just beautiful!! And the animation was the cherry on top!!

I also wanna give some spotlight to our villain here! It's really cool that we got some backstory at the start of the 3rd ep. And you have no idea how I screamed when we got a reference from the original journey to the west, where lbd transformed into a young girl, an old lady, and an old man afterwards! I can't help but get excited when they do things like that!!! We also got more about the mayor! And how apparently he AIN'T one of the corrupted/ possest people and how apparently he also ages old! But the fact that we don't know wat happened to him after the defeat of lbd kinda concerns me... And talking about defeat, while I did want her ded after what she did to my boy, I kinda felt bad to how done she was afterwards, how she had accepted her "destiny" hehe... Also with what she said to MK about their pursuit always leading to pain I can't help but think we in for sth more angsty than what we got now sooooo... Ready ur tissues next season and let's pray that they get a little break before that qwq.

Finally! Leaving my fav part for the end! MK and Wukong!(this one is gonna be longerxD) This whole situation started because monkey king decided to deal with lbd alone to protect the others.(and mostly MK let's be realUwU) I can't imagine what both monkey king AND MK were dealing with after lbd's cheap shot with possessing the king. The first time Wukong tried to attack MK he got saved last minute by Macaque! The 2nd time Wukong manage to break control for a few seconds thanks to MK!! Not only did he not hurt him, but he even threw him out of the way to make sure he doesn't end up doing sth worse to the kid!! 3rd time saved by Macaque AGAIN! (TY MY EMO MONKEY!!) And thank GOD the fourth time was the last, and our king finally broke free thanks to MK's trust!! And talking about trust, that's what I love about them. During the whole special, MK believed in The king, he knew that he was fighting for control! He trusted him so much that during the 4th attempt to hit MK, he didn't flinch! He knew Wukong was heading towards him and he didn't turn his head for a second nor did he try to defend! Giving Wukong the strength he needed to break free! (God the hug after that was adorable qwq)

And not just MK, Monkey king also trusts in MK's strength! When the kid went to confront lbd Wukong was the one who stopped the others from interfering. Trusting that MK was more than capable on handling the situation!

And during the end, the whole apology scene was everything I wanted to see! At first I thought MK was gonna be the one to start the conversation, but I'm really happy that Monkey king approached him instead. He was aware that he messed up and that he could obviously tell that the kid was still somewhat upset about it. He knows he's a bad mentor and honestly idk why people expect him to be amazing at it.

This is the monkey king we're talking about! The same guy that made an entire mess up in the celestial realm cause he wanted to be called "great sage equal to heaven". He still has a long way to go to be able to learn how to properly teach but he will try! He's trying for his kid. It's good that they finally got the time to talk about it cause that will make their bond even stronger now!(also the fact that he said "I'm sorry MK" and not bud is so sweet qwq) Honestly I'm a big sucker for parent-child relationships especially when they play it right and when the characters are to die for x3

I really can't wait to see what the future has in store for them in the next season ( and hopefully the one after that pls qwq)

#monkie kid season 3 #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #Lmk #lego monkie kid spoilers #monkie kid spoilers #Spoilers #lmk mk #lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk lbd #lmk lady bone demon #lmk mayor #lmk mei #lmk red son #lmk dragonfruit #This is honestly one of the best shows I've seen qwq

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scorbleeo · 3 months

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Book Chat: God of Ruin

Legacy of Gods (Book 4) by Rina Kent

Source: Google Images

I’m out for revenge. After careful planning, I gave the man who messed with my family a taste of his own medicine. I thought it’d end there. It didn’t. Landon King is a genius artist, a posh rich boy, and my worst nightmare. He’s decided that I’m the new addition to his chess game. Too bad for him, I’m no pawn. If he hits, I hit back, twice as hard and with the same hostility. He says he’ll ruin me. Little does he know that ruination goes both ways.

Source: Goodreads (2023)

I'm Embarrassed

I really did not do God of Ruin justice. My only goal to reading this book was finishing it so I could get into the next book immediately. That being said, I entered the Rina Kent universe only for Brandon and Nikolai, so by default, only for God of Fury. Knowing that is the next book in the reading order, I was breezing through God of Ruin like it was unimportant. When I say I sped-read through this book, I truly meant it, I probably missed a ton of sentences and with that, some minute details.

Now, going on to the review, this is the first book in the Legacy of Gods series where I felt the first half was bad and it got better afterwards. Let me put it this way, I was bored through the first half which made speeding through it a lot easier than usual. Unlike many, I never hated Landon before God of Ruin but because of that, he was nothing fascinating here. He even annoyed me several times initially.

Thus, when his eventual and gradual character arc redemption arrived, I wasn't wow-ed by it. Just felt like it was something Kent had to write because all her characters must not be horrible at the end of the day, right? I know I sound bitter here but that's because God of Ruin really was very average.

The character arc redemption was one thing. But the trauma plot? So weak. Mia's entire character ever since she was 8 was due to the trauma she suffered but the resolution was not even half-assed, it was less than that. Why give Mia such a character, have plenty of pages to foreshadow and yet the final countdown was so pathetic? Personally, I think the biggest problem with the trauma plot was that Kent did not know when or how to foreshadow it through the book. This would have been such a kickass final countdown scene yet ultimately, it fell flat, so very flat.

One last thing, I am aware Kent might be having fatigue from writing stories in this universe now, which I completely get. Because not only do we have the same kind of characters in the same series (Killian, Creighton, Landon and since she's been hinting at it, Eli), her writing for God of Ruin was sloppy. I will just use one example: In Chapter 33, due to Mia's friendship with Jeremy, Landon said he will bump Jeremy up to the top of his shit list. You know who else who happened to be very different from Landon said a similar sentence? Nikolai, to Mia, about Brandon, earlier in this book.

I do want to justify Kent's sloppy writing to her fatigue for this world, and I will. Unfortunately, Kent's lines around all her characters are becoming muddled. Not only are so many of her characters similar, she's using very specific sayings for characters that should not have had those same kinds of sayings. This is not the first time I caught it but this series had multiple of this instances, I have had enough and need to point it out.

Despite this entire post being filled with complains, I like God of Ruin. I just think Kent should not have written them all one after another. Someone, or many, should have told her to take a break, write something else in between and clear her mind of this world for a while. Because back in her first series, all the guys and the ladies had such distinctive personalities yet in this series...

Rating: ★★★☆☆

More on the Legacy of Gods series here: God of Malice (#1) | God of Pain (#2) | God of Wrath (#3)

#book review #god of ruin #legacy of gods #rina kent #mia sokolov #landon king #rina kent universe

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starlitangels · 2 years

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Pulling Away - Part 2

@zozo-01 This is all your fault 2.9k words (Part 1)(This got long because I didn’t know how to end it XD)

—

Sweetheart

“Oh my God, they’re back,” Milo whispered as we ducked into the security office for the pack meeting. Milo halted in his tracks completely and stared across the conference room.

Tanker was sitting in a chair against the wall, arms folded and legs spread out before them. Not meeting anyone’s eyes, scowling at the carpet like it had done something to offend them. Scars I didn’t remember glittered on exposed skin in the fluorescent lights. The tank top, torn jeans, and scuffed combat boots were pretty standard for how I remembered them, though.

Milo let go of my hand and ran across the conference room, bending down and wrapping his arms around them. I followed after him, clocking the looks a few of the older wolves threw my mate’s way. I kept my boiling blood to myself. “—and since when did you get back in town, huh?” Milo was demanding as I caught up.

“Couple months ago,” Tank muttered, not meeting his eyes nor mine.

“Months?” Milo demanded. “And you didn’t tell me that why?”

Tank didn’t reply. Still didn’t meet his eyes. Their sour expression held none of the softness it used to when they used to look at Milo.

I’d been an Investigator plenty long enough to know without even a guess that something was up.

They shrugged.

“A shrug?” Milo snapped. “That’s all I get? I don’t see or hear from you in a year and a half and the only response I get for askin’ why ya didn’t tell me you were back soona is a shrug?”

“Well, what do you want, Milo?” Tank snapped back.

“I dunno—some actual words, maybe? You’re a grown-ass adult—talk like one!”

Tank scoffed. “When have I ever been good at that?”

“Baby,” I warned Milo softly. “Maybe now’s not the time to push.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but now is exactly the time to push—b’cause if I don’t this hard-ass won’t talk to anyone. Let alone their—best—friend.” Milo jaw clenched around the last two words as he glared at Tank. Who continued to have a staring contest with the carpet.

I was spared from any more arguing by David knocking on the whiteboard at one end of the room to draw everyone’s attention. “Alright, everybody,” he said. “Settle in.” He cleared his throat as Milo took my hand again and dragged us to our normal seats. “To address the elephant in the room,” David continued, “yes: Tank is back from Washington. That’s why this meeting was meant for the entire pack. We’ll get to that in a minute. For now, we have a few things to go over.”

—

Darlin’

I sat there, up against the wall, and took everything my pack threw at me. The way I always had. I was used to their words by now. Headstrong. Selfish. Stubborn. Reckless. Self-destructive. Plenty of others. Hurled my way like knives.

I let David explain my story, only quietly supplying corrections where they were needed.

And I let the pack yell at me. Scream. Shout about the dangers I was bringing upon them. I didn’t bother defending myself. The other wolves wouldn’t listen. They never had before. Why start now?

It didn’t matter to them that I kept my vengeance hunt a secret from them in an attempt to protect them.

Selfish. Wayward. Reckless.

In the years since I’d joined the pack, I’d lost track of how many times I’d been read every riot act under the sun.

To his credit, David did his best to keep the temper flare-ups contained. Never let anyone yell at me for long. He was still pissed at me, of course, but he had the decency to fulfill his role as the alpha and keep the pack in line. A job I’d always given him a hell of a time trying to complete when it came to me.

David had been adamant that I show up to this meeting. He hadn’t said anything about lingering afterward.

The second it was over, I’d circled the conference room and stormed out. I slammed open the door to the security office. It was on a “soft close” system so I couldn’t hurl it shut behind me, so once it was open I just let it drift as I stalked over to my motorcycle.

I could ignore the hurt. I had for years. Somehow, it still stung when the pack screamed at me, and all I could do was take it. Because giving it right back would just prove their points about me. Violent. Dangerous. Headstrong.

If they thought I was stubborn, then every other wolf in the damn pack needed to check a mirror for once.

I reached my motorcycle, snatching my helmet off the handlebar where I’d hung it. I jammed it on my head and swung my leg over the bike, hitting the kickstand and balancing it underneath me.

The door to the office building crashed open. “Tank!” a familiar voice shouted.

I peeked a glance to the left to see Milo rushing after me.

“Not tonight, Milo,” I said loudly.

I didn’t hear his response as my bike’s engine roared to life, but I saw his mouth moving. He threw up his hands in exasperation—probably saying something snarky about how I was using my motorcycle’s loud engine to drown out my problems.

I flipped the bike into gear and gunned it out of the parking lot. In my small rearview mirror, I didn’t miss Milo flipping me off.

—

I managed not to cry until I got home. Back to my small, bare apartment.

Sam—Sam... I wanted Sam. A steady presence. A calm one. A caring one. One who had never done anything to hurt me.

I dug my phone out of my motorcycle jacket and was just scrolling through my contacts list when the tears broke.

I dropped my phone. It hit the vinyl floor on the rubber corner of the protective case and clattered down. I sank to my knees after it, doubling over and holding my torso as sobs wracked through me. Not now... I thought. Sam couldn’t see me like this. I wouldn’t reach out to him now. I’d reach out when I got myself under control. I wouldn’t let Sam see me cry. Milo had never seen me cry.

Crying was for when I was alone. When no one could see that the Big Bad Wolf attitude was a wall I kept constructed to protect my heart from hurt.

I stayed like that, in the fetal position on my knees between my living room and kitchen, for a long time. I sobbed and cried until my eyes burned and I had no more tears left. My throat felt thick and parched and I could barely breathe properly with how my lungs were behaving.

When I had no tears left to cry, I pushed myself to my feet, snatching up my phone in the process. I went to the bathroom and started to scrub the tear tracks off my face with a holey washcloth.

Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang!

Not a knock. A pounding on the door. “Tank!” Milo’s voice shouted. “I know you’re in there! Talk to me!”

I stalked out of my bathroom and over to the front door. Snapping the deadbolt out of the way, I yanked it open. “What do you want, Greer?” I demanded. “To keep yelling at me for not telling you I was back? To berate me for being stupid for falling in with a bastard vampire who used and abused me for six months? To ask what the hell I was thinking, coming back and hunting him down alone? I heard it all tonight from the pack, and David this afternoon when he came by. I don’t need it from you.”

I moved to slam the door, but Milo put a hand out. I felt a burst of magic. He’d always known more than the rest of us—except his mom. The Psychokinesis held the door in place. “Dontchu even think about slammin’ that door on me, Tanka,” he spat. “You know me betta than that.”

I clenched my jaw. “So what do you want?” I ground out.

“Ya gonna invite me in? Or are we gonna be breakin’ covert?”

Growling—animalistic and low—I opened the door wider and stepped to the side. Milo crossed the threshold and I managed not to slam the door behind him.

“Okay. You’re in here. What do you want?” I demanded.

Milo was frozen where he stood, eyes flicking around. “You always lived like this?”

“What does it matter?”

“Tank...”

“Get to the point, Greer. You wanted in. You’re in. What are you doing here?”

Milo took a deep breath. “Okay. If that’s how you wanna play this game,” he muttered. He met my gaze. His eyes were sharp grey and never missed a trick. He swallowed. “Why didn’t you say anythin’?”

“Why didn’t I tell you I came back to Dahlia?”

“That too. But... Tank, wh... why him?”

Milo didn’t need to say Quinn’s name for me to know who he was referring to. I shrugged.

“No. Don’t you give me that shrug again,” Milo snapped, a muscle in his jaw tensing. “Talk to me.”

“Why?” I crossed my arms in front of me. Closed off, as always.

“Because I’m your best friend.”

“Were,” I snapped. I threw the word in his face to see his reaction. He flinched. Good. “I don’t have a best friend anymore. I don’t have friends. The Department took away all memories of me and magic from my friend that Quinn attacked and God knows you and the pack don’t care about me.”

“That’s not true—”

I burst out laughing, throwing my head back. “Alright. You wanna know why I fell in with him? You wanna know why I let him get away with being a monster for as long as I did? You want to know why I reached out to the Department to report him rather than asking for help from the pack?” I snarled. “Here it is:

“You left me. You were my best friend. There wasn’t a lot of competition for the position, I’ll give you that, but you kept me part of the pack. You understood me in a way no one else ever even bothered to try.

“I don’t let people in easily, Milo. I don’t trust lightly or make friends well. It’s kept me safe.

“But I let you in. You became my best friend fast. I accepted you into my heart as family, and I thought that would be something that would last. That, for once, I could be close to someone.

“I was wrong.” I cleared my throat and looked out the window as tears stung my eyes again. I was surprised I still had any. “Don’t get me wrong. I am so, so damn happy for you. I’m delighted you found a mate who loves and adores you so much. I couldn’t ask for better for you.

“But it came at the cost of our friendship. And I wasn’t surprised. Who wouldn’t leave me behind in favor of their mate? The headstrong packmate who brought nothing but trouble—there’s no choice to be made. You would have rather spent your time with your mate than hanging out with me. What pisses me off the most is that I don’t blame you. I never did. I never could. Look at me!” I gestured to the patchwork of scars over my skin. “I’m a mess. A mess not worth knowing.

“And I tried, Milo. I tried not to lose you. I texted you all the time, trying to meet up or maintain some level of connection. And you turned me down. Again and again. For a year. It was exhausting.”

Milo had started crying somewhere in my passionate rant, but I wasn’t looking at him directly. “Why him, Tank?” he whispered.

“Why do you think?” I shot back. “I was in a self-destructive spiral. Mourning the loss of the only human connection I maintained to my pack. And Quinn was just there. He acted like he understood me. Like he saw me and liked what he saw. And the part of me that longed for literally any form of companionship latched onto him.

“I know you didn’t mean to drift away from me. I know our lack of hang-outs was born from the well-intentioned desire not to turn me into the awkward third wheel. And I appreciate the sentiment. But, God, it hurt. The only person in my pack who didn’t back away from me for being the way I am pulled away, and like hell would the rest of the pack reach out to help me.”

“David—” Milo began.

I scoffed so hard I hurt my throat—it was still raw from my sobbing anyway. “David didn’t notice when I didn’t reach out to the pack group chat for months. No one noticed when no one had heard from me in weeks or months. Not my alpha, beta, best friend, parents—no one.

“You might be dating the Stealth, but I might as well be the invisible one to this pack. David can preach to me all he wants that they see me as family but the fact of the matter remains that family can suck sometimes. Just because they see me as family doesn’t mean they really care. I’m used to being shunted to the side. But it was different when it was you.

“And I can’t even be mad at you for it! Because you meant well! You didn’t want me to be the awkward third wheel. And that’s not a bad thing. But I distanced myself from the pack and fell in with a sadistic monster because no one saw me anymore.” I gestured vaguely with both hands. “And tonight I took the verbal beating for it—because the consequences of my actions actually affect the pack this time, rather than just me. I took it sitting down and didn’t even bother fighting back. And then you had the audacity to come storming over here and act like you were owed an explanation. Like you had any right to my business.”

Milo blinked at me. Tears still shone on his face. I was so worked up that I wanted to tell him to get out. But I wanted to be petty—I wanted to keep lashing out at him. Make him hurt the way I’d been hurting. I was so, so tired of being the bigger person.

Milo didn’t deserve it, but I wanted him to understand the pain he’d put me through—intentionally or not—by blowing me off a year-and-a-half ago.

I ground my teeth and shook my head. “Go home, Milo. Go back to that funny cat of yours and the mate who loves you. Stop wasting your time with me.”

“Tank...” He reached out as though to set a hand on my shoulder. I flinched away from him. More out of habit than anything else. He froze again, hand still extended. His eyes took in the bare walls of my apartment again. The threadbare sofa, loveseat, and armchair. The dinged up old coffee table and small TV I never used.

I rolled my eyes and turned to storm into my bedroom.

His other arm whipped out and grabbed my shoulder. “Things will get betta,” he promised. “We can—”

“There’s no point, Milo. Everyone leaves me eventually. Go home to your mate. I’m sure they’re waiting for you.”

I wrenched out from under his hand and stomped into my bedroom, shutting the door hard.

I leaned against it and waited. Listening. Half expecting to feel him pounding on the door behind me. Half expecting to hear my front door open and slam behind him.

Silence. For a while. I could practically hear the gears in his brain turning, trying to decide what to do. I blinked a pair of tears out of my eyes and wiped them roughly on my arm.

Nearly five minutes passed before I heard my front door creak open and slam.

I slipped out of my bedroom.

A note was sitting on my kitchen counter island. Milo’s sharp penmanship sat bold on the page.

You’re still my best friend, Tank. Take the time you need to work through whatever you’re working through. I’ll still be here for you when you’re ready. -Milo

I tucked the note into a drawer and pulled out my phone.

Compose New Message To: Sam Collins Hey, it’s me. Can you make it over here tonight?

I downed a glass of water by the time my phone buzzed.

Sam Collins: I’ll be over in a few minutes.

I set my phone down.

Slow improvements. Milo was a better person than I’d ever be. I didn’t deserve his kindness or understanding. But I was grateful he was willing to give it to me.

And... with my deepening feelings for Sam... maybe it would get easier for me to understand what it felt like to have a mate. Maybe it would be easier to understand why I’d been left behind.

Maybe I didn’t have to be left behind anymore. Maybe it was time to start reaching out again.

#Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted Darlin'#Redacted Milo #Redacted Sweetheart #Darlin'#Milo Greer #Sweetheart #Milo #Starlit Fic

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ilaiyayaya · 6 months

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I Am So Mad rn frfr

I hate that my mental health always takes a massive drop around this time of the year. The worst part is like, it's not even like normal seasonal depression, I like fall and winter and like as soon as Christmas is done I'm fine again for the rest of the winter months. But god I fucking can't take having to see my family like once every week or 2 for a full 3 months from the start of October to the end of December because there's always either a holiday or one of their birthday's. At least I narrowly avoided one of the 2 worst days, Thanksgiving, because I had work as an excuse 🎉🎉🎉 unfortunately I don't have work on Christmas and because I avoided them for Thanksgiving I am going to be hearing shit over that on top of the normal things that make me want to die. I am actually at my fucking limit of dealing with these people, the last time I saw them I got extremely close to having a meltdown and fighting my uncle. If I hear a single fucking thing this time about my fucking hair, or my ear-piercing, or my job, or the way I fucking walk, or if one of them say I look like a [REDACTED] because of any of those things I'm gonna fucking lose it. I fucking hate my entire dad's side of my family and I can't fucking escape them in my current situation and yet my mom's side of my family is mostly great and I don't have a problem with a majority of them, unfortunately I haven't been able to talk to any of them in several years and trying to get in contact with any of them would give an easy way for my mother to find me which would potentially put my life in danger so yea that's cool.

At least after Christmas I'll be done with them for a while so just 1 more week and it'll all be over, and as long as I'm out of my father's house by this time next year, which there's no reason why I shouldn't be aside from my own incompetence (which is a really big obstacle, I can't do shit right), I won't have to see any of them ever again. Just 1 more week 1 more week only 1 more I can do it I'll live no more holidays after that I can survive 1 week surely I won't go on a psychotic rampage within that little amount of time.

AND last night someone I haven't talked to in like 6 months randomly messaged me on Discord minutes before I was about to go to sleep wanting to call, and I regrettably said sure. This was like 5 hours before I was supposed to go to work too and the entire like 2 hours he had me trapped in the call I was just desperately trying to find an excuse out (even tho I literally had a very valid excuse of having work the next morning) and of course I did not get a single moment of sleep afterwards because it was too late by the time I got out and was tired af the entire day (I have still not slept since then because I am very smart and take very good care of myself and always get sufficient sleep and I have work again in 6 hours).

The call itself was completely fucking miserable too, there is a reason I haven't talked to this person in 6 months and absolutely should not have agreed to talk but I suck and can't say no to anything ever. Immediately like 1 minute in they start telling me about how they think some girl at a bookstore they go to is flirting with them, which like, on it's own, if it was actually happening, like that's fine, whatever, cool, but then the snowball really starts when he mentions her age as "probably in her early 20s" (he's like, at least 35 (which again, normally I don't care, fine on it's own)), and I blanked out really fucking hard for 90% of that call so I don't even remember everything he said about her after that, but I do remember him progressively changing her age as he kept talking to "probably 20" then "at least 18" and then after that kinda implying but not outright stating that she's possibly not even 18. This entire time I was pretty much not saying a word except like "yea" and "uh-huh" and like other completely meaningless responses, so it just felt like he was having an internal debate with himself over whether he should try to go after this potentially underaged retail worker except instead of it being internal it was out loud, to me. What's fucking worse is the conclusion he came to was that like, he "doesn't really care about how others perceive him at this point" in reference to trying to hit on this probably underage retail worker. I feel really bad for that bookstore clerk she probably literally was just trying to do a job that she has to do and now this creep thinks she's into him. AAAAAAAAAA AND I'M THE FUCKING WORST BECAUSE THE ENTIRE TIME THE MOST I SAID WAS LIKE "yea I probably wouldn't do that, but like it's your life I can't stop you" INSTEAD OF TAKING A HARD STANCE AND JUST SAYING OUTRIGHT TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.

After they finally finished being the biggest creep I have had to talk to in months they just started talking about a bunch of random games they'd been playing, and they got really hung up on Baldur's Gate 3 specifically, they fuckin' hate it. I should preface this part with, I have mentioned to this person once in the past that I am nonbinary and trans and they were kinda weird about it then and I just didn't ever bring it up after that, but they still definitely knew unless they just forgot. So like, idk anything about Baldur's Gate, or D&D as a whole, but I've heard 3 is good, and so when he first brought it up I said "I haven't played it but I have literally only heard good things about it" big mistake, this instantly led to him listing off every issue he had with the game, specifically it's writing, and how much he hates that they added the ability to choose your pronouns because it's a classic fantasy game and pronoun choice doesn't make sense in a D&D-style fantasy world (even though I thought like the entire point of D&D was making your own character whatever the fuck you want it to be). He also really didn't like that you can be in a polyamorous relationship in 3 and brought up an example of like, some character in 2 would never be in a poly relationship, and if you chose them as your partner they would probably kill you if you tried going out with anyone else, but like, that character isn't in 3 as far as I'm aware, and also like, just because it wasn't in 2 doesn't mean they can't add it in 3, actually that was like the crux of most of his points he just really didn't like anything that was even slightly different than Baldur's Gate 2. Also side note but that character he brought up from 2 I do not remember the name of at all and every single time he brought her up he was like "surely you know her, you've definitely seen her there's tons of rule 34 of her" sorry but no I haven't seen the porn of a random character that I didn't even know existed and I don't know why you assume I have. Anyways now I have a reason to play Baldur's Gate 3 and never touch Baldur's Gate 1 or 2 entirely out of spite.

I don't know why the fuck he just randomly wanted to talk to me and have these specific fucking conversations with me of all people but now I've had to spend the last 20 hours thinking about how much that call pissed me off so that's fun. God I fucking wish I had some basic fucking social ability to tell someone to fuck off without worrying about, literally nothing, just completely nebulous anxiety, I had literally no reason not to just leave the call and tell him not to message me again as soon as he started being weird BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY FUCKING GIVE A SHIT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS THAT MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT REACTS TO ME TELLING THEM TO SHUT UP WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS AAAAAAAAA I'M JUST FUCKING BLOCKING HIM NOW LIKE I SHOULD HAVE LAST NIGHT AAAAAAAAA. At least in this case I can just easily block him and be done with it, I'm not friends with anyone he knows anymore and I already hadn't been talking to him but like, ugh.

#let's go only 4 more hours until I have to be up for work again let's see how long I can keep the no sleep train going #no I don't need therapy or meds all I need is jerma house flipper streams #if judge makes “handgina” -10 points #god i can't wait for january so i can hopefully not constantly feel like shit anymore and also actually enjoy winter #I'm so mad I'm so mad #I'm huffing and puffing im stomping and puffing i'm so mad #oh im so infuriated im so mad im stomping #oh ive never been so mad ohhhhh ive never been so enraged #girlboss moment #gamer moment

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indigo474 · 6 months

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December 2nd 2023

I was a bit emotional today. I went on face book and saw Michaels wife posted a photo and i am reminded of everything ive lost. it hurts. what can i do but let it hurt. it brings up so many emotions in me.. my kids will never know how much i had to fight for them. and thats ok. i think of Madison and the pain she carries. she lost a lot too... why?? i do think X is evil- to do what he has done not only to me but to Madison- she had nothing to offer him- no trust fund and how dare she cost him money.. so so sick.. but then.. they are adults so shame on them for not speaking to their sister. shame of meghan-- someday someday-- the truth- i don't know when, or how.. and i don't know how 1 man ..... i ran almost 5 miles today. I'm going to need a bigger park. I'm doing the 10 k program so it wasn't all at one but it was challenging.. running is mental. i noticed when i start to feel uncomfortable while running i'm able to tell myself that its ok because ive felt uncomfortable before and it will pass. i ruined my run on thursday because my music app wouldnt work.. i kept trying and trying to get it to work- stopping and starting and i got so mad myself -- it's not working why do you keep trying? i had it in my head i couldnt run without music. Friday i ran without music. today i had music until the last 10 minutes.. i'm excited to see how far i can run. i'm still not sure i am a runner.. i'm not built like one. BUT i like it. I lifted today. 170 dead lift- it felt heavy.. ohh an this week my back has been hurting me.. i'm pretty sure i am getting my period or due to get it and thats why 1 emotions and 2 my back hurts??? it was stiff all week.. sitting at a desk all day make my body sore.. i still lifted heavy although i told james on tues my back hurt so i didnt life as heavy.. today i went in tired from my run which i probably shouldnt be doing.. i guess i could have waited to run afterwards? i have no idea what i should or shouldnt be doing.. i think james said ideally i shouldnt be doing both on the same day.. benched 100-- i get it- i lose it.. split squats almost killed me today- he upped the weight. i played with Kika.. james did a chrome delete on his tesla and his dad was not happy about it- i think its his dads car.. i think it looks good but he needs to get new wheels.. i'm getting use to my commute- i knew i would. i was merging when i should have been yielding- i'm glad i figured that out.. work is kind of horrible. i know one of my reps is going to be in for a rude awakening soon.. its heating season so things are a bit crazy- i was a little bitchy on friday with 2 of my reps.. the one coming to my desk for me to help her after i told her i was busy.. the other is ghetto and i had enough..everyone is so use to me being me- happy helpful positive- they could tell i wasnt in the mood on friday.. it is what it is.. i'm human too.. i had a meeting with both reps separately.. I wore myself out today. Ive been thinking about turning 50- i hate to say this but i'm slightly scared.. a little bit. my mom told me menopause hit her at 50. she went on to tell me how horrible it was.. so i guess i have that in the back of my mind. i feel like i was starting to have symptoms but they have mostly gone away. i want to be and feel excited about aging- it's a privilege and i cant stop it- it's when i hear people say negative things about it- the good news it I am not my Mom.. My house is decorated. it looks good. I wish i had another Christmas tree to decorate.. Madison says 3 is too many.. i'm not convinced. ive had a pretty incredible year.. i don't know how 2024 can top it.....

Madison is going to be working 3rd shift- she is happy.. i'm not that thrilled for her to be out in the middle of the night.

James says i should join the dating apps again.. its the only way to meet someone.. I do want to meet someone- i just do not want to join any dating app..... not now anyway. I am enjoying being single- i thought to myself today that i should enjoy it because i wont always be single. I won't always be single. he's out there..

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stonewallsposts · 1 year

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16 personalities questions: 28-30

This is halfway through the statements.

28. You lose patience with people who are not as efficient as you

Well, now this one's going to be tricky. In general I don't think I do. In fact, in a lot of areas, the way people do things doesn't even enter into my mind. Now my wife, on the other hand, consistently questions why I do things the way I do: "I'm just wondering why you turned down this street rather than going the other way, which is faster." Or "You know, there's a keyboard shortcut for that..." I can see her impatience watching me do some things and I'll just get up out of my seat and let her do it because she's just itching to get in there and do it. I do this to her much less frequently, but there are times when I probably do question why she's doing something a certain way.

I know I do lose patience fairly easily when I'm trying to teach people things. There was a lady at church who was doing stuff on the computer and consistently not only messing up, but forgetting the things I had already told her. At one point I decided to try a shock value and I just told her straight up, "How many times am I going to have to tell you to do this?" She just stopped and looked straight ahead, and then said ok. I know that worked with me one time when I was learning to finish concrete. My boss had explained something to me and I hadn't followed it. He then testily said: I don't want to keep having to tell you the same thing over and over. I got the message and straightened up. But I know I can deal with men in a different way than women. I can tell a guy: Quit screwing up and do it right, you moron! Guys may not like it, but we'll get it and move on. I would never call a woman a name like that. I might have crossed over the line too because while she did get it, I heard years later that she was still holding that against me.

I'll admit I'm not a patient teacher. I don't mind sharing knowledge I have, but I have no aptitude for trying to gently motivate people along. I can lose patience quickly if I think someone isn't getting it. I don't think they're stupid or anything, I just don't personally want to try and deal with helping them to get it. I'm exceptionally thankful for those people who DO have a gift of sharing the information though. I just know I'm not one of them. So, mercifully for anyone who would be my student, I don't take on students. Of course, If I really like you and like spending time (probably my top love-language) then I'll overlook just about everything because the important thing is the together time, not the efficiency of whatever we happen to be doing.

29. You end up doing things at the last possible moment

I'm not a procrastinator, no. Years of working for myself taught me to know the deadline, and establish benchmarks to hit along the way so that I would accomplish things on time. And I really hate the idea of being late. I know, weird for an Italian, but I almost get a physical anxiety when things aren't happening on time. If you tell me something is gonna be 2 hours, I expect 2 hours and set myself psychologically for it. But if church, which is supposed to be 1.5 hours, starts going long, I start getting antsy.

I hate being late, and if we're running late, I can start getting irritable. Though there are some times when I don't worry about it. For example I joined our choir a year ago. Whenever we meet with the whole band, they tell the choir to be there at 7, and we just sit there while the band dorks around for 45 minutes. THAT starts to bug me, so I'll often show up late for that.

But other than the above-mentioned type of scenario, I would disagree with this.

30. You have always been fascinated by the question of what, if anything, happens after death

I don't know that I'm fascinated by it, but I grew up in a Christian household, so I've always thought of heaven afterward. I believe in it, but I can't say I'm fascinated. There are too many things that, accepting the Biblical account, I just can't make sense of. But I'm not particularly concerned either. I figure I'll get answers when I get there, and wondering about things that I can't get answers to doesn't seem particularly useful to me.

While I know there is no absolute proof of an afterlife, I have found out-of-body experiences in near-death situations to be a sort of strong evidence for a separate entity we usually think of as a soul- a state of consciousness that persists even after the body is gone. This will usually entail a person who registers as dead- no brain activity at all- and yet they have an awareness of things that are happening around them during that time. There have been many reports of things happening in the near vicinity, where they were out of their bodies, and were able to confirm things that had happened while they were essentially dead. In some of these reports, there have been descriptions of angels, etc. We of course can't confirm those because we can't see angels. But we can confirm that x was happening at the time they said they saw it, even though they were dead and had no brain activity at the time.

These experiences would seem to me a strong evidence that the soul, or consciousness, survives the life of the body. Does consciousness apart from the body prove an afterlife? I don't know that I could go that far, but it would be strongly suggestive of it.

Does this statement concern itself more with whether or not I think there is an afterlife, or my level of concern about the question. What I'm unsure of, even when trying to calculate my level of concern or fascination, is how much other people are concerned. I know a lot of people would rather avoid thinking about death at all, so maybe in that light, I am more fascinated than average.

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creek-cryptid-deluxe · 1 year

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Y'all... there is more evidence that L is indeed my soul mate, my person, the only one who truly gets me. Let's see what has transpired.

Piece of Evidence #1: I was complaining about my hip messing up & making me 'useless'. He responded with, "Baby you are so efficient & so good at so many things, the gods had to nerf you for being OP somehow." in the most sincere tone.

Piece of Evidence #2: We were hanging out on the deck & I got up, saying I was off to do dishes (while limping because I tore something picking up Zel when she was hurt). He said, "Ok... WAIT! NO! I'll do them! Sit!" I reminded him that he'd said he'd do them for the past 3 days & hadn't. He said, "[Dr M] I command you to not do dishes!" I laughed & told him he was under leveled for the "Command [Dr M] spell" outside of specific circumstances in which my constitution is considerably lower. He got mildly offended & began going off about how his current Skyrim character can summon a ghost that's way above her level and that a 'debuff character build is valid'. I reminded him that this isn't Skyrim & he isn't a wood elf. A bit later I told him that if he ate in the next 15 mins, I'd relent (because he forgets to eat). Within 2 minutes he was in the kitchen making food while glaring at me & mumbling about blackmail.

Piece of Evidence #3: he knows I like to watch old episodes of Big Fat Quiz when I don't feel well & actually suggested we turn it on one night when I was clearly struggling but was doing an alright job faking it. For the last 4 nights in a row, that's all we've watched because he loves it... especially if Richard & Noel or Noel & Russell are a team.

Piece of Evidence #4: he walked in to me playing bass on my leg while painting cabinets & immediately asked if I was listening to Primus on loop again. He's also figured out how to gauge my pain/mood based on what I'm listening to (because some days I have to get real angry to make my body function, so I listen to shit like Slipknot/Tool/Nine Inch Nails/Manson/Kidney Theives).

Piece of Evidence #5: yesterday i went outside to talk to him & paused the music on my headphones as I sat down. He said, "Aw no more MSI? They do go hard." Apparently he could tell it was them just based on what he heard at a distance through my headphones. Genuinely never been with anyone who knows of them, much less likes or can ID them like that. (Before you come for me, yes I know Jimmy is a POS [anyone with half a brain could easily draw that conclusion] . I like the sound of their stuff and have never paid for any of it. It is called separating the art from the artist. You'd be horrified by my back tattoo. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Grow up.)

So yeah... dude is absolutely the one for me. (This is all on top of how extremely understanding he is when my bod/hormones malfunction & all the things I've always adored about him throughout our friendship.)

He actually asked me the other day when I developed feels for him. I told him that I'd always really liked him but like... he had some deal breaker stuff & was with my (then) friend. But that in early August (before I moved in but was staying over to hang out for a couple days), there was a massive storm that broke a massive part of a tree off in the yard of the house across the creek out back. It was hanging on the electrical wires & without hesitation he ran over to help the homeowners. I sat and watched from the driveway as he helped them cut it down. (Note: til then he hadn't ever interacted with them.) Then as he was walking back across the creek afterwards, the elderly woman who lived there with her husband called across to me "You've got a good man!" & L turned and said "Aw she's my best friend, it's not like that." I found myself feeling really... sad? Then internally I went "Oh fuckstockings. I'm in love with him. Goddamn it. This... might be a fucking problem." Then a couple weeks later it wasn't a problem because I basically lived here. And nearly 5 months later we are still great. No fights because we both speak very frankly and clearly when stuff is going on. There's some communication stuff because he's been programmed to read into things, but we talk about it.

Shit is dope.

#life with l

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a-sleep-deprived-rock · 2 years

Text

No. Not yet. Shiki story

DISCLAIMER and its posted on my wattpad so if you find the same story there thats why its also on quotev

This story contains spoilers for the anime!

3 shiki were spared from death however forced to be pretty much slaves for whatever reason they had this is a story that takes place in the last few episodes when the villagers start killing the shiki

Some characters do not belong to me such as

-Sunako Kirishiki

-Seishin Muroi

-Toshio Ozaki

-Megumi Shimizu

There might be more because im planning on using these characters in the story for now the only characters belonging to me are

-Kazuko Koritsu

-Yuuka Fumei

-Kazuko's mother

-Yuuka's aunt

-Izuku R’Marionetta

If I decide to use other characters it will be written on the top start of the chapter because I don't wanna get sued

"So do you like your new job Megumi?" He asked tauntingly, "...." Megumi said nothing. She was in a narrow room, in front of her was a machine, a machine full of red liquid and pieces with a light red color leading into the wall. "This will be your job, think of it as a punishment for killing the innocent" the words fading away the further he walked, the sound of the lock clicking echoing slightly. Megumi punched the wall "A village like this should have never existed, I shouldn't have existed here... I should've been in a big city in the spotlight...so why?.." she cried as she shed a small number of tears. Megumi's job has been assigned as cleaning the machine, keeping it in order, spectating results. She never wanted to do this, being forced with 2 others to be slaves with the threat of a stake through there hearts. The people say they have no one to blame but themselves for being in this situation with the desperation to be alive for a reason or another, begging not to be killed and being taken in as slaves with the hanging threat of the death they desperately wished to escape. However death is inescapable no matter what you do.

"Now listen here Ms. Murderess, your job is to carve the stakes and clean the weapons simple, it should be easy enough for a terrible being as you" said the man, inside a room filled with wood, weapons, knives, baskets,towels, a table with a chair and a sink. "Understood sir.." Kazuko told the man with a slight look of obedience on her face. The man's footsteps could be heard fading as the man walked away and out the door, the sound of the lock closing her in the room with materials which will be used to kill her kind reminded her of how bad her situation really is. Taking a quick look around the room she walked towards the table with the chair and sat on the chair looking around with her head then crossing her arms on the table as she put her head down. A heavy sigh could be heard throughout the room, after a few minutes she decided to grab a few pieces of wood and start carving stakes knowing what would happen if she didn't make a large amount by nightfall.

A female named Yuuka followed a man into a room quietly upon reaching the door and opening it Yuuka was shoved into the room "Get up a creature like you should be able to handle that" the man said as Yuuka silently stood up. "You're assigned to wash the clothes and make sure they're ready for an instant change." Yuuka gave nothing but a silent and small nod the man walked to the door as Yuuka stared at his back the slam of the door was a bit much for her ears as she covered them with her hands for a split second. The sound of the man locking the door from the outside was a terrible sound to her ears, looking around the room she saw a tab with a hand she assumed was for filling the medium size baskets next to it with water, a cabinet containing soap bottles and sponges, next she saw a small board she thought must have been for setting clothes on to rub stains out, afterwards she saw a pair of gloves lying on the top of the cabinet "At least they gave me gloves..." lastly there was a basket full of clothes most were covered in blood, now she saw them she smelt a small amount of blood in the air. She sat down in the corner thinking why she did this to herself.

Outside the female's rooms it was quite social one might even think it was a party....if it weren't for how they were covered in blood enjoying food as if it was a normal day... "Are you sure it was right bringing 3 shiki's and using them as slaves? They could attack us." said a man enjoying his food as if it was a family dinner "Yes if we waste time doing these chores then the shiki will succeed" said Ozaki, the head doctor in the village ironically he is also the leader of the massacre "Bu-" "I checked there files they died nearly 2 weeks ago which means they rose recently and have not drank much blood meaning they are not strong enough and we have the weapons to kill them its fine" said Ozaki cutting off the other man. "We've made progress but is it really enough to win?" thought Ozaki with his head resting on his head on his left hand with his eyes closed, "Ozaki are you feeling well?" asked one of the many men sitting at the table eating the food made by the women also in the underground shelter. "I'm fine don't worry about me, our main focus is eliminating the Shiki.", "It's a hour until morning which means it's time to hunt." as the words left his mouth the men and women rose from the tables going to start the preparations 2 men went to different directions seemingly leading to 3 doors in the back, one in the middle and one to the right.

Outside the female's rooms it was quite social one might even think it was a party....if it weren't for how they were covered in blood enjoying food as if it was a normal day... "Are you sure it was right bringing 3 shiki's and using them as slaves? They could attack us." said a man enjoying his food as if it was a family dinner "Yes if we waste time doing these chores then the shiki will succeed" said Ozaki, the head doctor in the village ironically he is also the leader of the massacre "Bu-" "I checked there files they died nearly 2 weeks ago which means they rose recently and have not drank much blood meaning they are not strong enough and we have the weapons to kill them its fine" said Ozaki cutting off the other man. "We've made progress but is it really enough to win?" thought Ozaki with his head resting on his head on his left hand with his eyes closed, "Ozaki are you feeling well?" asked one of the many men sitting at the table eating the food made by the women also in the underground shelter. "I'm fine don't worry about me, our main focus is eliminating the Shiki.", "It's a hour until morning which means it's time to hunt." as the words left his mouth the men and women rose from the tables going to start the preparations 3 men went to different directions seemingly leading to 3 doors in the back, one in the middle, one straight and one to the right.

to be continued

a/n: WHEN I WAS PUTTING THE HASHTAGS MY BROTHER WAS TYPING ON M Y KEYBOARD AND HITTING ME ISTG-

#shiki #megumishimizu #yuukinatsuno #shikistory

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

5 times Merlin does something that requires a considerable amount of strength;

+1 time the gang has time to actually bring it up.

Everyone is baffled, half distracted by Merlin’s surprising buffness and half amused by Arthur’s gay panic:

The clearing fills with the sounds of a brutal fight.

The Knights of Camelot, along with their King, had given up on trying to figure out how bandits always managed to find them in the woods. It seemed impossible for there to be so many mercenary groups that it was just coincidence for them to stumble upon each other so often, but equally, the knights moved quietly and always covered their tracks well, so... yeah, who knows.

The point is, they’re outnumbered three to one, and all of them were starting to regret not listening to Merlin’s earlier suggestion that they keep riding for another hour or so; their camp was destroyed and the fight was tiring them out.

Three to one weren’t bad odds, especially for knights with such a high level of skill, but it was exhausting and time consuming and they just wanted it to be over. Merlin was having similar thoughts as he stumbles through the middle of the crowd, trying to get out of the way. He was keeping an eye on them of course, but his friends were winning so his magical intervention wasn’t really needed; he was just annoyed that Arthur was almost certainly going to make him clear everything up afterwards.

His attention is suddenly caught when Percival’s voice rings out across the clearing:

“Merlin! Behind you!”

All of the knights’ gazes whip to the servant when they hear the giant’s yell, and they all abandon their own battles to step towards him despite knowing that they were too far away to be able to help in time. The servant takes in a sharp breath at Percival’s warning, becoming suddenly aware of a fast-moving presence behind him; he forms a fist and turns, swinging blindly with all his strength and following through even when his knuckles crunch with surprising accuracy against the temple of a bandit.

The man, not expecting the rapid attack, doesn’t have time to move out of the way, and his head jerks to the side, his entire body following as if an afterthought. He crumples to the floor gracelessly, unconscious before his head makes contact with the trampled undergrowth.

Merlin hisses at the pain bursting through his knuckles and up into his wrist, shaking his hand out as he steps over the bandit’s still form without even blinking, back to focusing on attempting to find a tree to sit behind and sulk, as if nothing had happened.

The knights only have a fraction of a second to freeze in shock before they’re dragged back to their own fights, forced to defend themselves lest they get skewered.

The battle only lasts a few more minutes; despite being outnumbered, the knights far outmatch the bandits in skill (and sufficient armour) and Merlin was correct in his assumption that they wouldn’t need any of his DIY luck, which is a good thing really, considering how much his hand is throbbing. He peeks his head around the tree when things go suspiciously quiet, getting up and making his way to the abandoned bag of medical supplies when he sees the knights victorious.

The servant runs a quick gaze over them, taking stock of any potential injuries as he makes his way through the clearing, injured hand clenched tightly and held to his chest. He may have knocked the bandit out, but that just meant that the punch was hard enough to do damage to his hand as well as the other guy’s head. When he finds nothing more than the odd bruise on the others, he grabs a roll of bandages for himself, quickly wrapping his hand almost painfully tight, before turning to Arthur with a scowl:

“I told you we were too close to the road, I told you we should’ve kept on going. But do you ever listen to me? No, because you’re-”

He’s cut off by The King stepping towards him and taking his bandaged hand, cradling it gently and looking to Merlin in concern:

“Merlin, are you alright?”

Merlin just rolls his eyes and huffs, snatching his hand back and retreating to check on the horses, thankfully tied and uninjured at the edge of the clearing:

“No, my hand fucking hurts, because, surprisingly enough, these idiots have skulls almost as thick as yours. We need to move camps, like I said earlier. Prat.”

Arthur frowns, looking down to Merlin’s unconscious bandit at his feet, and then glancing back to the other knights, who all just shrug with wide eyes. The King sighs, reluctantly nodding at Merlin’s assertion as he stares up at the darkening sky, deciding that Merlin must’ve... hit a pressure point or... something:

“Everyone pack up, I want to be moving on in three minutes.”

Merlin had foregone his jacket and rolled his sleeves up in the surprising Spring heatwave.

Which was a sight in itself.

But what really made the knights look twice (I mean... Arthur was just outright staring, but Leon had long since glared the others into not mentioning The King’s little... crush) was the way the supposedly wimpy servant had two sets of chainmail folded on one shoulder, his arm curled over them to keep them balanced, and a few odd bits of mismatched armour clutched in his other hand. He was making his way from the training field up to the castle, presumably to find an empty room to sit quietly and clean them.

Elyan waves at him across the field, the movement just about catching the servant’s gaze as he twists around, flashing a bright, sunny grin in place of waving back.

Arthur gulps, eyes drawn to the vein standing out from Merlin’s uncovered neck; apparently the heat had encouraged him to abandon his neckerchief as well. The King takes a deep breath, sending a scowl Merlin’s way to cover his... surprise, holding in a smirk when the servant just rolls his eyes and turns back to the castle.

His stride was strong, and though his arms were straining against the weight, he looked entirely unbothered, not even breathing deeply as he picks up his pace, jogging up the citadel steps.

Training had all but stopped at this point, the roundtable knights staring in confusion as Merlin carefully pulled the door open, making sure he wouldn’t drop anything, before nudging the door shut again with his hip. Gwaine was the first to break the silence, quirking one of his eyebrows up as he speaks in a slightly surprised tone:

“Didn’t know he had it in him. Wearing one set, when the weight is evenly distributed, is hard enough, let alone carrying two sets. And armour. Up steps. Huh.”

Arthur clears his throat, looking away with a slight blush as he asserts:

“Yes, well, knights carry the same weight in armour and weapons everyday, if not more. If you’re that impressed Sir Gwaine, perhaps you should work on your strength.”

Gwaine turns to him with a smirk, but Leon’s warning glare stops him from teasing, or saying anything else that could be considered treasonous. Instead, he rolls his eyes at the first knight before humming non-committedly and pointing his sword at The King:

“That, Princess, sounds like a challenge.”

Arthur, blush forgotten, looks up with raised eyebrows and a chuckle, noting with satisfaction the way the other knights spread out to form a circle around the two of them, swords lowered and expectant looks on their faces:

“Does it now? I suppose you’ll have to take me up on it then, won’t you?”

The knights were on some stupid (in Merlin’s opinion) quest.

The group was currently making their way through a complicated cave system. They had maps, thankfully, but they were old, and provided by a small village of locals who hadn’t spoken common very well.

They��d had to trade away half of their supplies in return for the maps, so Arthur was already in a foul mood, but a dotted line on the page across the path they were following was worrying him. The note written next to it was in some old, almost lost native language, so The King had just resigned himself to carrying on and hoping for the best.

Which is why he let out a series of echoing curse words when they turned a corner to find a ragged overhang, about eight feet above the path. The wall curved in on itself before jutting out again at the top, making it impossible to climb, even without armour and swords and packs.

Elyan is the first to break the tense silence after Arthur’s outburst, his tone half amused, half annoyed, as he mutters:

“That’ll be why the locals kept pointing at that ladder then.”

Arthur huffs, glaring at the knight with a rare venom, but Leon gestures to the map in his hand before he can retort:

“We can always go back, or is there another way around?”

Arthur huffs louder, letting out a short growl as he thrusts the maps to Leon’s chest and paces closer to the overhang:

“Feel free, if you can find an alternative route, please, enlighten me. The village is a day’s journey away, we don’t have time to go back.”

Leon covers his annoyance at Arthur’s harshness well, but Merlin scowls at The King openly before moving to stand at the junction between the wall of the corridor, and the overhang in front of them:

“Don’t be an arse, Arthur, it’s not Leon’s fault that none of us can understand Old... whatever it was. And it’s not that high, just-”

With that, Merlin braces his foot against the wall, bending his knees slightly before pushing off and jumping up, reaching out and grabbing the overhang, his feet dangling off the ground. The knights stare in shock, but before they can say anything, Merlin swings his feet forwards, and backwards, and forwards again. When they swing back for the second time, he uses the momentum to pull himself up, his arms locking out straight beneath him as he lifts his knees up, crawling over the edge and onto the floor above them.

Arthur blinks, looking from the floor, to the wall, and up to Merlin again, trying to figure out how the hell his manservant had enough strength in his arms and core to pull himself up; he hadn’t even taken his pack off.

Lancelot clears his throat, tilting his head and frowning as he slowly speaks:

“That was... impressive. But we’re wearing armour, Merlin, I don’t think we’ll be able to manage that with all the extra weight.”

No one mentions that they don’t think they could do it even without armour.

Merlin just rolls his eyes and sits on the edge, his feet dangling below him as he gestures vaguely:

“Well if you just get your hands on the ledge then I can pull you up. Take your packs off and throw them up first if you’re so worried, you can give each other a hand up, and Percival can go last because of how tall he is. Come on, it wasn’t that hard.”

Lancelot shrugs, taking his pack off and throwing it up with all his might. Merlin leans out, catching it with ease and chucking it behind him as he motions Percival to interlock his hands. The knight does so, allowing Lancelot to step on them and throw himself up, just about managing to catch the ledge and groaning at the strain in his arms. Merlin brings his feet back over the overhang, bracing his heels against the stone as he reaches down, gripping Lancelot’s wrists and hauling him up and over the edge.

Lance yelps as Merlin yanks him up, rolling onto his back and panting at the ceiling as he blinks in surprise. Merlin doesn’t pay him any attention, frowning down at the others and gesturing at them to hurry:

“Come on, I thought we were in a rush?”

With that, they all huddle below, taking turns to be thrown up and hauled over the edge. Merlin drags Elyan up on his own, Lance still recovering from his slight shock, but the more people gather at the top, the less work Merlin has to do. Which is good, because he may be strong, but he’s not sure he could manage Percival on his own. The giant has to take a running leap at the ledge, and it takes four of them to pull him up without dislocating any shoulders or throwing out any backs.

When they’re all successfully at the top, Merlin wordlessly picks his pack up, shrugging it onto his shoulders as he begins a quick pace along the corridor as if he hadn’t a care in the world; the knights break out of their stupors and jog to catch up, knowing that Merlin was right and they needed to hurry.

Arthur was glaring resolutely at the floor, trying to psych himself up to confront whatever arsehole had managed to get the drop on him and his six best knights. The others were arguing in whispers around him, trying to figure out some way to escape the dungeon unscathed, though The King kept silent, knowing that the only way out was if someone unlocked these infernal chains first.

They’d only been there for around an hour, so no one from Camelot would have realised they were missing yet; their only hope was that Merlin was making his way back to the city to get help. He’d been off gathering firewood, and he’d already been gone half a candle mark when they’d been ambushed; Arthur would never admit it, but he had faith that Merlin would be able to sort everything out.

The King harshly shushes the knights as he hears the guards begin to yell, but frowns in confusion when he hears “They’re going crazy up there!” and “What the fuck?!” before the unmistakable sound of armoured boots running up the stairs and away from the dungeons reaches them.

The knights all look to each other in confusion, straining against their chains to try and see through the small barred window at the top of the door. A shadow passes through the square of light on the floor, and they all shuffle back against the wall, staying silent. None of them manage to hold in their surprised yelps however, when the door suddenly bursts in, the wood around the lock splintering violently and spreading shards across the dungeon floor.

A strong arm extends out, stopping the now broken beyond repair door from swinging shut again, and the knights look up, taking in sharp gasps when they see Merlin stood there, scowling disapprovingly with a ring of keys in his other hand and one foot in front of the other, as if he had... as if he had kicked the door. Leon is the first to break the silence:

“Merlin?? What are you doing here?”

Merlin’s scowl deepens as he glances down the corridor before stepping into the dungeon, sorting through the keys to try and figure out which one would open which set of chains:

“Well I’m rescuing you lot, obviously. I leave camp for barely a candle-mark and you get yourselves kidnapped. Honestly, how hard is it to not find trouble, for once?”

Arthur is too busy staring at Merlin’s apparently muscled legs to say anything, even when Elyan clears his throat and kicks him, so Percival is the next to speak as Merlin unlocks his chains:

“Why not just... unlock the door?”

Merlin doesn’t look at the largest of the knights as he moves on to the others, unchaining them one by one as he responds, his scowl still firmly in place:

“The key was on a separate ring and I only had time to grab one, figured the door would be easier to break than the chains.”

Arthur finally blinks and shakes his head free of.... distracting, thoughts as Merlin finally turns to him, holding his hands out to be unchained as he clears his throat and says strongly, forcing the waiver from his voice:

“How did you distract the guards?”

Merlin finally smiles at that, standing and reaching into his pocket to pull out a lumpy looking bit of plant:

“Snuck in and pretended to be one of their slaves, laced all the jugs with mandrake root. They’re all going loopy with hallucinations upstairs, a few of them vomited and I think one guy might have shit himself. The guards went to see what was wrong, so we don’t have much time, come on.”

Arthur nods impressed, and was the last of the group to sneak from the dungeon, pausing briefly to run a hand over the splintered wood and warped metal of the kicked-in door, before shaking his head and following the others out of the not-quite-abandoned fort.

It had been almost a year since Merlin had last seen his mother, so when the servant requested two weeks off to visit home, wanting to help the village out with repairs before the winter set in, Arthur agreed immediately, on the condition that he and a couple of the knights could tag along.

Merlin reluctantly gave in, but only after insisting that he wouldn’t be Arthur’s servant, and whoever came would have to dig in and help out. To be honest, Arthur was mentally exhausted after months of work on repealing the magic ban, so Merlin was silently grateful that he was coming; The King needed a break, and Merlin knew how secretly fond the man was of Merlin’s mother, and her simple country life.

In the end, Leon and Mordred were the only ones who could come; Lancelot and Elyan were left in charge of patrols, Percival and Gwaine were left in charge of training, and Guinevere, Gaius, and Morgana were left to oversee the council and the general running of the Kingdom. Arthur wasn’t worried to be honest, they were only going to be gone for two weeks, and if disaster set in they were only a two day’s ride away at most.

It was chilly, the winter was setting in early so Merlin and Hunith were eager for work to start as soon as possible. There were numerous leaks and fences to fix, and one of the village’s barns needed clearing out so it could filled with grain over the snowy season.

That, and as much firewood needed to be collected as possible so they could stockpile. They normally barely had enough to last them through the winter; Arthur had nodded in approval when Merlin had meekly asked if they could take a cart of wood with them from Camelot, but they still had a lot to gather.

It was the afternoon of their first day, Leon had been sent to a neighbour’s to fix a roof, Merlin was doing something outside, and Mordred was just about to head over to one of the livestock pastures to strengthen a few of the fences. Hunith was preparing the evening’s meal and Arthur stood politely in the doorway as he spoke:

“Merlin said that firewood had to be gathered? I can get started on that if you can point me in the right direction.”

Hunith smiles over her shoulder briefly, and Arthur ignores the warm fuzziness in his stomach at the sight as she speaks:

“Oh don’t worry about that, we’ve only one axe in the village and Merlin is out by the barn chopping wood now. I know there’s a leak somewhere in the basement of the village hall, a few of the boys are already down there if you’re looking for something to do?”

Arthur raises his eyebrow at Hunith’s insistence that Merlin, his lanky manservant, was outside with an axe chopping wood, and he glances at Mordred over his shoulder, who just shrugs, nodding to Hunith’s turned back. The King responds quietly, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice:

“Hmm. I’ll go check in with Merlin and then head down to the hall, if he doesn’t need help.”

Hunith hums in agreement, but otherwise doesn’t reply, mumbling under her breath about herbs and measurements as she stirs something into the pot. Arthur smirks at Mordred and the two of them head out, neither mentioning how Mordred was following Arthur to find Merlin instead of getting to the fences.

They walk in silence, though they both freeze on the spot when they turn a corner to see Merlin, once again with his sleeves rolled up, hefting around a huge lump of wood, a ginormous axe resting on his shoulder. He gets the wood where he wants it, stepping back and wiping his forearm across his sweaty forehead before lifting the axe and swinging it down again. The stump splits easily beneath the sharpened metal, and Merlin wastes no time in repositioning the new pieces of wood, ready to be chopped again.

Arthur doesn’t even realise his mouth is hanging open until Mordred looks at him and smirks, biting his lip before giving in and snorting quietly:

“You’re the colour of our capes, Sire, and you might want to shut your mouth. Don’t want to catch flies, do you?”

Arthur’s jaw snaps shut with a clack, and he frowns as his teeth begin to ache. Mordred chuckles slightly and though Arthur is grateful that the young knight is finally comfortable enough to joke around with him, he desperately wishes he wasn’t at Gwaine’s level of comfort.

Instead of retorting, Arthur just clears his throat and turns around, striding towards the village hall:

“It appears he’s got things handled. Those fences won’t fix themselves, Sir Mordred.”

Mordred only just manages to hold in his giggle, looking up to see Merlin staring confusedly at him and Arthur’s rapidly retreating back. He waves briefly, sending a quick “I’ll tell you later.” over their mental link before turning himself and heading in the direction of the pastures.

He knows full well that he has no intention of telling Merlin about Arthur’s crush; watching them tiptoe around each other was the funniest thing ever, and he didn’t want to ruin the bet that Gwaine had going.

+1)

The fight was vicious, more so than any of the skirmishes the knights had dealt with in the last several months.

They were vastly outnumbered, and the addition of four powerful sorcerers to the enemy ranks meant that Merlin and Mordred were quickly running out of energy, having to focus on both the magical aspect of the fight, and trying to keep everyone else alive.

The metallic scent of blood was almost overwhelming, and the constant clang of metal on metal mixed with the whooshing echoes of sorcerous fire and vines was deafening. The fight went on a lot longer than Merlin had thought it would; the enemy was clearly more skilled than predicted, but the Camelot knights did prevail eventually, Percival ending the fight with the smooth slice of his blade across the last mercenary’s throat.

Merlin wastes no time in running his gaze over the knights, giving special attention to Arthur as he searches for any injuries that need seeing to immediately. The last of the sorcerers had managed to escape, so they needed to get out of there as soon as possible: there’s no way they’d survive a second attack if he came back with reinforcements.

Merlin was relieved to see nothing too serious; Lancelot had a gash on his temple that would need a thorough cleaning and a few stitches, and Gwaine was holding his wrist to his chest in a way that told Merlin it was likely broken, but everyone was on their feet and no one was crying. That’s a good start.

Merlin relaxes, but his shoulders quickly tense again as Mordred’s voice echoes weakly through his head:

“Emrys... I’m... I’m tired...”

Merlin whips around quickly, his eyes wide and panicked as his frantic gaze lands on the young knight. He’s leaning against a tree, his eyes hooded and focused on the floor. Merlin leaps towards him, catching him just before his head lands harshly on a boulder, and pulling the collapsed younger man into a more comfortable position as Arthur rushes over:

“What’s wrong with him? I don’t see any blood, was he hit with magic?”

Merlin waves him off, checking Mordred’s pulse and breathing before he relaxes again, sending a tired, but relieved smile up to The King:

“He’s fine, just exhausted. This is the first time he’s used this much magic in years, he’ll need a little while to recover his strength, but we need to get out of here in case they come back.”

Arthur lets out a relieved sigh and nods, leaning down to take one of Mordred’s arms and waving Gwaine over to pick his legs up, but before either of them get even close, Merlin stands up, dragging Mordred with him and settling the armoured knight across his shoulders. He looks to Arthur next to him, not seeming to notice The King’s shock as he quickly says:

“I know you’re The King and all, but would you mind carrying my bag?”

Arthur nods dumbly, picking up Merlin’s dropped medical bag without taking his gaze off the Warlock, who wanders around double checking that the other knights were ok and that all the bandits were dead as if he didn’t have about 240 pounds of man and armour dangling from his shoulders.

Leon catches Arthur’s eye, nodding pointedly towards the path they needed to take, trying to pull Arthur back into the present before the others notice him gawping. Arthur gulps, blushing as he nods his thanks and moves away from the battlefield, Merlin’s bag secured on his shoulders as he confidently speaks:

“Merlin’s right, we need to get as far away from here as we can. I saw a cave about two hours’ back North, we can make camp there before heading back to Camelot in the morning. Gather as much as you can carry, we’ve no hope of finding the horses before nightfall, hopefully they can make their own way home.”

The knights all nod, following Arthur’s lead as he steps carefully through the underbrush, trying not leave any obvious pointers to their direction. He keeps his gaze resolutely ahead as he hears Percival ask:

“You alright, Merlin? Sure you don’t want a hand?”

Despite keeping his gaze stubbornly forward, Arthur strains his ears to hear Merlin’s response, refusing to acknowledge the sudden weakness in his knees at what the Warlock replies with:

“Nah, it’s fine, he’s not that heavy.”

Leon subtly sidles up to walk next to The King, glancing behind him before leaning in close, talking quietly as they moved:

“Perhaps you should... let him know of you affections, Sire?”

Arthur’s blushing gaze quickly finds the older knight’s before he looks away again:

“I don’t know what you think you’re implying, Sir Leon.”

Leon just raises his eyebrow in an unusual display of amused defiance:

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Arthur. He’s been by your side for ten years, you’ve been through the unspeakable, both with each other and for each other. That, and he has a surprisingly... admirable physique.-”

Arthur’s blush deepens and he clears his throat, crossing his arms petulantly and staring resolutely ahead. Leon puts a hand on The young King’s shoulder as he continues:

“-You’re...-”

The knight sighs and bites his lip again, debating with himself over whether he should say it or not:

“-you’re head over heels for him, Sire, perhaps it’s time to do something about it? Gods know he feels the same, and the Gods also know that he’ll never make the first move. He’s still... nervous, about messing things up, I think. His-”

Leon glances over his shoulder again to make sure no one could hear him before dropping his voice to a whisper:

“-his magic being outed put him... on edge, even after all these months. He won’t do anything that he think could push you away or anger you.”

Arthur sighs and nods, before turning to him slowly with an embarrassed scowl on his face; he doesn’t shrug off Leon’s hand, which the knight takes as a good sign:

“Not a word to anyone, Leon, I swear to the Gods.”

Leon holds his hand up and uses his other to wave a cross over his heart:

“I swear, Sire. Though I feel the need to tell you that... at least three of the other servants, and I do believe Lady Bronwyn and Sir Galahad, also have... uh... their eyes on him, as it were.”

Arthur’s scowl gets impossibly deeper as he huffs, muttering to himself:

“They do, do they? Well, we’ll see about that.”

Leon just smirks again and rolls his eyes fondly before falling back to walk with Elyan.

They finally make it back to the cave, though it took them even longer without horses. Merlin had requested they stop around a candle mark in so he could remove some of the heavier bits of Mordred’s armour, passing them off to the other knights, but he had once again rejected any offers of help, saying that he was slowly siphoning his own magic into Mordred so he would wake sooner. Apparently they needed to be touching for that to happen, and though Merlin had been teaching them, none of them had enough knowledge on magic to know whether that was true or not, but they did know that Merlin was incredibly protective of the young Druid, so they let it be.

A fire was lit quickly and supplies were laid out. A map had been saved, thankfully, so they could figure out roughly where they were and how long it would take them to get back home as Merlin quickly treated Lance’s gash and Gwaine’s wrist.

Mordred begins to stir just as Percival serves up food, groaning slightly and rubbing at his eyes before struggling to sit himself up. Merlin had rushed to his side as soon as he felt the Druid begin to wake, and helps prop him up against the cave wall, handing him a water-skin as he stares at him with concern. Mordred takes a long drink, nodding his thanks and clearing his throat before speaking, his voice gravelly and slow:

“This... this is the cave we passed a few hours ago...”

His voice trails off, and Arthur answers the question in his tone:

“Hmm. We had no horses, so we were never going to make it back to the city, but we couldn’t stay where we were.”

Mordred nods, yawning widely and rubbing his eyes again as he asks:

“How did you get me this far without horses?”

Arthur clenches his jaw, blushing slightly as he looks away, but thankfully Gwaine butts in, answering with a grin on his face before anyone notices The King’s flush:

“Merlin here is stronger than he looks. Carried you the whole way, didn’t use magic or anything.”

Mordred turns his incredulous gaze to Merlin and he just shrugs absentmindedly:

“You don’t weigh that much, it was fairly easy.”

Elyan laughs and shakes his head, joining in on the conversation quickly:

“Are you kidding me? I mean... sure, I could’ve carried him for maybe an hour, if I was at full strength and it was easy terrain. You carried him for three, only took his armour off in the second hour, down what could barely be classified as a path, in a barely tamed forest, after a pretty hefty fight. That’s... impressive.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow, looking around the room in bafflement as he realises that everyone is staring at him with varying levels of impressed confusion:

“You guys... you guys know that I grew up in the country, right? I spent my childhood climbing trees and running away from predators, and my teenage years chopping wood, building things with barely any help, and fighting the odd bear. I then arrive in Camelot, only to immediately be given a job that involves carrying a shit ton of heavy stuff, including, but not limited to: armour, luggage, hunting equipment, and the occasional unconscious idiot.”

Arthur sits up straight and scowls slightly when Merlin gestures to him instead of Mordred:

“You have never had to carry me anywhere.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow, gaze sinking to the floor as he smirks and coughs out something that sounds suspiciously like “Sophia”.

Arthur’s blush deepens and he jabs an accusing finger in Merlin’s direction:

“That. Didn’t. Happen.”

Merlin bites his lip to stop himself from laughing, but his dimples still show through despite his best effort and he holds his hands up in surrender:

“Whatever you say, Sire.”

Arthur just clenches his jaw and sits back against the wall with eyes focused on his food and cheeks red, stubbornly ignoring the knights’ curious stares as everyone eats their food. Merlin fusses over Mordred for a few more minutes but is quickly waved away by the younger man; the Warlock huffs and rolls his eyes, but gives in to the fact that Mordred did not need, nor want, to be babied. He moves subtly around the cave to sit down next to Arthur, barely a foot of air between them despite the abundance of space elsewhere.

Arthur forces his blush down at Merlin’s proximity, refusing to think of anything but his food and the difficult journey home, desperately keeping his gaze on his meal instead of Merlin’s strong legs stretched out next to him.

The King doesn’t acknowledge him, but doesn’t move away either, which Merlin takes as a good sign as he settles in, wrapping himself in a blanket to protect his body from the impending cold.

The other knights have long since finished their meals, scarping the lot in a matter of seconds in an attempt to gain back a little energy after the hours of riding and fighting and walking; they quickly settle into the blankets and cloaks and bedrolls they had managed to carry, though Leon seems to deliberately move slower, waiting for Arthur to glance up at him so he can give a pointed look to Merlin, just finishing his food, before laying down and attempting to sleep.

Arthur blushes with wide eyes, but Leon turns around before he has time to glare at him, and The King huffs quietly, risking a glance to a shivering Merlin next to him. He quickly frowns, not moving his gaze away like he had intended to, instead whispering softly:

“Cold? Can’t you use magic to warm up?”

Merlin looks to him tiredly, leaning his head back against the wall as his eyelids droop slightly:

“Hmm. I gave most of my reserves to Mordred, he was worse off than I first thought so he needed a lot more magic than I realised to keep him alive long enough for his energy to build up again.-”

Arthur widens his eyes at the fact that he was so close to losing one of his knights, but then shakes his head, huffing as he glares at the Warlock disapprovingly, but Merlin closes his eyes and continues before he can get told off:

“-I’ll be fine by morning, I just need-”

He’s interrupted when his body is wracked by a particularly strong shiver:

“-I just need some sleep.”

Arthur rolls his eyes, shuffling into a more comfortable position before opening his arms, spreading his cloak wide as if they were a pair of majestic wings:

“Come here, you idiot. I can’t have you freezing to death because you refuse to look after yourself.”

In normal circumstance Merlin would’ve argued, but he really was cold, so when he cracks his eyes open to see Arthur ready and waiting, he doesn’t hesitate to crawl hurriedly over. Arthur ignores the flush rising on his cheeks as Merlin clambers over one of his legs, settling between them and shoving his head under the blonde’s chin; he wraps his cloak around the two of them and rubs his cheek into the Warlock’s soft hair.

He can feel Merlin grin against his collarbone, and it’s enough to distract him from the surprising, but not unwelcome, weight of Merlin’s muscled form against his chest:

“You know, Arthur, if you wanted to feel up my muscles so badly you just had to ask. You stare far too often to think you’re subtle.”

Arthur’s flush deepens and his body goes rigid as Merlin giggles. He clenches his jaw and lands a punch, far softer than he would normally go for, on the other man’s shoulder, but that just makes him giggle harder, and Arthur has to hush him in fear of waking the others. Merlin looks up at him through thick eyelashes, blinking tiredly with a satisfied smile on his face:

“Just let me know if you ever want carrying around, I’m more than happy to help.”

Arthur gulps, refusing to make eye contact as he stares resolutely at the opposite wall and not acknowledging the red hue of his cheeks:

“When we get back to Camelot, I’m hanging you for treason.”

Merlin snorts quietly, re-burying his face in Arthur’s chest and curling up tightly in his lap to stave off the cold:

“Whatever you say, Sire.”

Arthur gives in, smiling slightly and rolling his eyes as he tightens his hold on the other man. He lets his cheek fall back to rest on his soft hair as he closes his eyes, allowing his exhaustion to take over and descending into an easy sleep.

THE END!!

We stan Arthur gay panicking and all the knights (bar Leon of course, who handles it as tactically as he’s able) ruthlessly taking the piss :D

I hope y’all enjoyed reading this, I certainly enjoyed writing it! Thank you anon, I loved writing this!!!

Same as always, someone wants to write it up in full, go for it!! Drop me a message and credit/tag me :)

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rafescoke · 3 years

Text

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Request: The second one I was hoping could be a Rafe x reader based on the song why’d you only call me when you’re high by arctic monkeys. Maybe something along the lines of rafe only calling and giving the reader attention when he wants to hook up. Finally, the reader gets tired of it their feelings known.

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Reader finds herself thinking about a certain boy more than what they had agreed on

Warnings: Hella angst, mentions of sex, masterbating, substance, cursing, toxic relationship

A/N: I’ve been updating a new fic every single day and the amount of love you guys are returning is beyond amazing. I love you so much, thank you for all of your kind words <3

p.s, again, my request box is always open. drop in any ideas and i’ll present to you my best :)

p.p.s, does anyone know why i can’t tag some users? im going crazy.

“I was thinking. . .” Rafe trailed, drawing invisible circles against her soft skin. She hummed in response, her eyes closed, feeling so relaxed under the silk bedsheet wrapping around her body.

“We should do this often.”

“Is twice a day isn’t enough for you?” she asked, hiding her smile. She felt him shift, placing his arms around her waist and pulling her close against him. She giggled lightly, feeling him behind her, but she was too tired to do anything.

“We should try doing it every minute,” he simply replied, smelling into her scent. She smelt like vanilla and caramel, just the way he likes it. “Is this the perfume I bought?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, feeling so peaceful she could sleep if he hadn’t pulled her closer against his hardening member. She groaned, trying to scoot forward by an inch, but was stopped by his fingers gripping her hips.

“I’m sore.”

“I know,” he replied casually, still brushing against her bottom. Before he could do anything else she turned, now facing him. She looked at his handsome face, his blue eyes and his soft lips. Her thumb grazed over his top lip, and Rafe swore he could fuck her anytime soon if she kept doing that.

“Are you not tired?” she asked, now cupping his face. He stared into her eyes, feeling himself getting lost in them before giving her a smile.

“No.”

“You’re mental,” she sighed, but she failed to contain her laugh after. She giggled, still cupping his face, and she has never felt so calm and relax before. Just them two, on top of a bed in some cheap motel, sometimes hearing the couple staying on top of them screaming at each other.

“Are you?” he continued, tilting his head into her hands. She smiled when he closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth radiating from her. He loves it. He feels at peace.

(Y/N) sighed, loving yet also hating these kind of moments where she knew they would be acting like strangers after, in front of everyone else. She remembered the exact day after she had had sex with him for the first time, and how he acted so cold afterwards.

“Hey,” (Y/N) smiled, standing beside his form as he squinted his eyes against the bright sunlight to inspect his goal. He didn’t reply, swinging his golf club upwards and hit the golf ball. (Y/N) watched as it flew and landed near the goal, and expressed a smile.

“You’re good.”

“Huh?” he looked up to her, as if just noticed her existence. (Y/N) felt a pang of hurt across her heart, especially when he had just whispered so many love words into her ear the night before.

“I said you’re good.”

“Oh, thanks,” he muttered, already making his way back to where his friends were. Clearly not satisfied, she followed him suit, watching as his friends cheered for him. Rafe groaned even harder, and turned to look at her before they got too close to his friends.

“What are you fucking doing here?” he scolded, his eyes staring at a space beside her. (Y/N) raised a brow, being caught off guard, but she tried to play it cool.

“I’m a member of this country club too, Rafe,” she replied, scoffing. “You’re an asshole, do you know that? Are we not going to talk about last ni-”

“Shut up,” he grunted, looking backwards to check on his friends before pulling her a few distance away. “Look, I was on drugs last night. That was not me. Let it go, okay?”

(Y/N) has never experienced that kind of disrespect, and she swore she hated Rafe Cameron so bad that when she got home, she cried against her pillows until the night sky greeted her.

She thought about the many other guys who tried to be with her, but she had pushed them all away for a certain rich boy living 6 houses away from her. The fact that her parents are good friends with Ward and Rose Cameron doesn’t make it any easier, not when she is forced to see him every single Saturday night for ‘barbecue night’.

“What are you thinking?” he suddenly spoke, interrupting her thoughts. She sighed, suddenly scooting away from him. He watched as she turned away, but he didn’t put much thoughts into it.

“I can still smell the weed from you,” she suddenly said, and Rafe let out a laugh. He rubbed his eyes, hating the fact that they are going to repeat the same topic they have fought countless of times before, especially after sex and they had both came down from the high.

“Don’t start, (Y/N), fuck,” he sighed, covering his face with his large hands. He watched as she scooted further, wrapping the covers around her body. “Can you please just lay right next to me?”

“I want to sleep,” she replied, and bit her lips before she could express any tears. Rafe sighed, groaning, and sat up straight, resting on the edge of the bed before reaching for his jeans discarded on the corner of the room.

“I’m leaving,” he said, and (Y/N) heard the metal bar of his belt clanking against his jeans button. “Since you wanna act like a bitch again.”

“You’re an asshole,” she replied, still not looking at him. A tear rolled down her cheeks before she could stop herself, and she quickly wiped them away.

“Whatever,” he said, and she heard the door slammed shut. She cursed, unable to stop her tears now that she was alone. The banter between the husband and wife from the room above filled the silence as (Y/N) sobbed against the pillow and she thought about how it resembled her and Rafe’s relationship so much.

He would call her when he’s under the influence, whispering sweet-nothings through the phone, saying how much he’s missing her and longing for her forehead kisses. The fight they had before the phone call will immediately evaporate into thin air, and (Y/N) will make her way to wherever Rafe is. Sometimes they’ll do it in the car in a secluded alley or sometimes in the cheap motel at Chapel Hill.

But then it was the moments after their brief meeting that had her all moody and depress throughout the week; how he would ignore her, pretending not to see her and forcing himself to say ‘hi’ during their family barbecue.

(Y/N) never thought of herself as someone who’s prone to being in a sneaky relationship, but if that what it takes to be with Rafe Cameron, she was willing to be in one.

It had been a week since the incidence, and Rafe hadn’t call her to meet or anything of the sort. (Y/N) frowned when she thought of this, because the longest fight they had before only lasted for 2 days before he rang her up, asking to meet up.

(Y/N) shook her head, sipping on her martini before setting it on the side of the swimming pool. She dived into the water, trying to get the heat from the scorching sun off of her, and resurfaced seconds after, her wet hair falling down her shoulders.

“(Y/N), where’s dad?” Topper appeared, squatting in front of her as she took another sip on the martini. Her eyes fell to the figure behind her brother, and she almost choked on the liquid.

“Um, I don’t know,” (Y/N) replied, staring at Rafe Cameron as he took out his phone to check on his messages, ignoring her like always. She rolled her eyes at this, knowing that there were no new texts and he was just trying to act like she wasn’t there. She dived into the water again and swam to the other side, away from Rafe and his negative energy.

If Rafe knew she was going to be in the swimming pool, he would have made an excuse to Topper, perhaps saying how he has to take Wheezie to the clinic for an appointment. (Y/N) was almost never home every time he hang out with Topper, so he thought he was safe. But there she was; in the most tempting bikini, swimming and constantly sipping on a martini.

Rafe sat right next to Topper, watching her back from the corners of his eyes as she gazed at the view in front of her. She was laying on her arms, lazily humming to a rock song Rafe plays every time he’s driving.

He jolted when Topper touched his hand.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Topper laughed, “I said, do you wanna eat?”

“I’m okay,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and thinking about good she looked in that bikini. He made a mental note to guess the brand to purchase more of that sort for her.

“Okay, I’m going in to get myself some food. Are you sure you don’t want any food?” Topper asked, sitting on the edge of the seat. Rafe nodded, his eyes still closed, and heard him walking towards the sliding door into the kitchen.

“Why are you ignoring me?”

Rafe opened his eyes, and to his satisfaction, the girl with the (H/C) locks stared at him with her face rested against her arms. His breath hitched, seeing how beautiful she was with the chlorine water dripping from her face, down to her neck, continuing to her che-

“God, you’re a fucking asshole,” she suddenly said, and Rafe had to shook his head from the involuntary thought that appeared in his mind. He groaned, watching as she dived in the water again, and almost catching a glimpse of her bottom. He smiled.

“Are you still a bitch?” he asked when she resurfaced, crossing his arms. “Because if you are, I don’t feel like fucking you right here and right now.”

(Y/N) halted her movements as she tried her best not to look at the smirking boy, and instead staring into the swimming pool as if there was something interesting in it. Rafe laughed, knowing exactly the impact of his words towards her, and thought about wanting to have a little more fun with her.

“I’m asking, baby,” he said softly, and her eyes landed on his. “Are you still a bitch?”

“I brought cookies!” Topper suddenly yelled, appearing from the sliding door and walking towards them with a bright smile. Rafe cursed, laying his back against the seat again and pretending to close his eyes while (Y/N) dived underwater, trying to hide her red face. He was glad when Topper handed him a cookie, talking about wanting to surf tomorrow - so oblivious towards the sexual tension between him and his own twin.

“What do you think?” Topper asked, munching on the cookies all the while trying to see Rafe’s reaction. Rafe nodded, muttering his agreement, but under his sunglasses, he was watching (Y/N) and she too, was watching him.

“Can I have a cookie, Tops?” (Y/N) suddenly interrupted, and without looking at her, Topper gave her a thumbs up sign. (Y/N) smiled, pulling herself up from the pool and Rafe almost had a heart attack from the sight of her curves donning the bikini and the water dripping off of her.

She walked towards them, hair swept to her left shoulder, and Rafe’s gaze followed her fingers as she grabbed a cookie and immediately putting it in her mouth. He watched as she closed her eyes, enjoying the sweet taste, all the while sitting under the glowing sun that highlighted her features even more.

He could feel himself getting harder.

“Well,” (Y/N) suddenly said, and Rafe had realized he was too busy looking at her to realize that she was already conversing with Topper. “I’ll go. Is Rafe coming too?”

Both of the siblings’ attention fell towards him, and Rafe found himself clearing his throat before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, where are we?”

“Man, are you sure you’re okay?” Topper asked, removing his sunglasses to look at him clearly. “Do you need water?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Rafe quickly added, “Can I, um, go up to your room? I think I need a nap.”

“Yeah, okay,” Topper replied, not thinking much of it. They had been spending so much time under the sun during the summer, he wouldn’t be surprised if one of them got sick. “I’ll go upstairs in a second.”

He muttered a thanks, quickly making his way to the top of the house, where Topper stayed. He groaned, feeling himself getting harder, and hating the fact that she was most probably liking the way he was reacting.

He locked the door of the bathroom he has been using since the first day he became friends with Topper, watching himself in the mirror. He closed his eyes while he tried to picture her in his mind, his fingers trying their best to untie the knot of the band of his swimming shorts.

He held himself in the palm of his hands as he pictured her again, this time with her under him. He started sliding his palm over his hardened member, his other hand safely placed on the sink for balance. He thought of the way she’ll bounce on him when she rides him, and bit his lips before he could let out any sounds.

Fuck.

He hated how easy she’ll make him hard and how she has him wrapped around her finger. It was true how they would only do the unholy thing when he was under the influence or they were both under the influence, but he couldn’t deny the unsettling feeling in his stomach every time he saw her.

“Fuck,” he expressed, his grip on the sink tightening. His movements became faster as he tried to picture her mouth and around him, and felt his end coming. He left a string of curses as he finally released himself, watching the shot dripping off the sides of the sink. He grunted, having to do more work, and grabbed himself the white tissues before wiping his mess.

. . .

“Hey.”

“Hey, Rafe,” (Y/N) said, trying to maintain her normal tone. She bit her lips at the sound of his heavy breathing, missing his voice and also his handsome face. She longed to have his face in her hands again, staring at each other’s eyes and kissing each other’s lips right after.

“Can you come over?” he asked, his voice slurring. “No, I mean, can I pick you up?” The sound of laughter and booming music could be heard behind him, giving out his location. (Y/N) sighed, knowing the exact request behind the words, and looked at her wall to check on the time.

“It’s 12 a.m., my mom won’t allow me to go out.”

“Sneak out, then,” Rafe replied, and he said something to his friends before focusing back on her. “Please? I missed you.”

(Y/N) sighed, knowing exactly her problem.

This.

“Okay,” she replied, leaning over her mattress to close her laptop now that she had new plans for the night. “What time are you picking me up?”

“I can’t drive right now,” he said, suddenly realizing how sloshed he was. “Can you come and pick me up, please?”

She sighed again, but she had missed him so much. Him and his touches. His and his words.

Him.

“Okay, send me your location, okay? I’ll pick you up.”

(Y/N) thought about how she couldn’t do it anymore. Not when she has spent most of her life trying to make him love her. He had been friends with her brother since forever, but yet he never seemed to settle on her. She heard about the amount of girls he dated and how she tried to become like them, but after a while, she grew bored of it. She was tired of running after someone who doesn’t want to be caught.

Until the night at the party, where they had been smoking and doing coke and god knows what else. (Y/N) had watched him from the corners of her eyes, liking how attractive he looked under the party lights. He was in a black shirt, his hair messily parted, a cigarette loosely hanging from his lips.

“Thornton, do you know how perfect your smile is?” he asked, leaning towards her. (Y/N) giggled, her back against the wall as she stared into his eyes.

“You’re mistaking me for my brother, Rafe?” she asked, with that smile again. Rafe licked his lips, looking down to hers before leaning closer to whisper into her ear.

“I’ve got to confess, (Y/N),” he whispered, sending shivers down to her spine. “You’re the hottest sibling.”

When she woke up the next day, laying right next to Rafe Cameron, she had to pinch herself a few times to make sure that she was living in reality, but when she tried to approach him that evening on the golf course, it was like nothing happened that night.

It scarred her until he rang her up again, six days after.

“Rafe,” (Y/N) sighed, leaning over to open the passenger’s door from her seat, seeing how drunk he was. Rafe giggled, getting himself in before shutting the door and staring at her. He leaned towards her and placed a sloppy kiss against her cheeks, down to her neck and stopped directly before her chest.

“Just park in the back,” he ordered, placing his palm on the upper side of her thigh, too close to her heat. She bit her lips as she turned her steering wheel, entering the back alley of the club. Soon after he had texted her his location, she sneaked out through her brother’s porch and stole his car, driving straight towards Rafe.

She turned the ignition off and looked at him, watching as he unbuttoned his shirt slowly, groaning when he missed one button. He tried to reach for her, but she pushed his hand away, her face expressing into anger.

“Don’t pull this shit again, fuck,” Rafe sighed, throwing his head back against the seat and covering his face with his hands. (Y/N) caught a glimpse of a gold ring, and noticed how it looked so similar to hers hanging around her neck.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, filling the silence. Rafe let out a shrill laugh, still closing his eyes.

“Still a bitch, I guess.”

“This is the problem, Rafe!” she groaned, causing Rafe to look at her fully in the face when he noticed her increasing volume. “What are we?”

“What do you want to hear?” he simply said, staring at her with empty eyes. He licked his lips, “No, seriously. Tell me the answer, and I’ll say it.”

How cold could he be?

“Rafe, do you see how you’re treating me?” she asked, and she could feel her tears threatening to fall. “Do you realize the difference between sober Rafe and intoxicated Rafe?”

Of course he knew. He just chose to ignore it.

“I can’t do this right now,” Rafe said, putting his hands up in defeat. “Can we just fuck, get over whatever fight we’re having right now, and live our best lives the next day? Can we do that?”

He turned to look at her, and noticed her glassy eyes. He sighed, trying to cup her face, but she flinched at his touch.

“You make me feel like a whore,” she whispered, her lips trembling. “One second you love me, the next second you’re spitting on me.”

He just had the worst night of his life; having a fight with Ward about his business, bumping onto the pogues, catching Sarah and John B. . . and now this?

“You think too much,” he said, but his heartbeat was quickening. He stole a glance at her and watched as she stared at him with empty eyes. “I’m sober now. You know what, (Y/N)? You’re right. I can’t even look at you when I’m not under the influence.”

He turned to open the door, getting out while buttoning his shirt back, not wanting to look at her. He couldn’t stand it, he knew he’ll be too broken if he sees her cry over him. He didn’t know what to do; he panicked, never preparing for this exact moment where he knew she will ask about the state of their relationship.

He watched as she sped away from the alley, her engine roaring against the silence of that particular Friday night, where his day had been nothing but miserable. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to contain his feelings, but before he knew it, he had kicked on the empty beer can on the side of the road, watching its movement as it hit the opposite wall and fell into the trash can.

He laughed at the strange occurrence, his tears slowly rolling down his cheeks and made his way back to the club.

If there’s one thing he’s so sure about himself; Rafe Cameron hates himself more than anyone else in the world.

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butwhyduh · 3 years

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"There is only one bed" "Exes forced to work together" and "Accidentally cuddling in sleep" with homeboy Dickie please <3

There were certain members of the Titans who said Dick’s superpower was being friends with his exes. Not very many of them had ill feelings for him after breakup despite everything that happened in their relationship. You tried to be like them. Kori could laugh at his jokes while he dated Barbara. Zatanna would often give him an open mouth kiss when she saw him and yet had no interest in dating him again.

But you weren’t like that. You didn’t know how to act around him. Possibly because you didn’t exactly break up normally, or at all. He just disappeared. It had been for a mission but still. He could have called or talked to you afterwards. That’s why you were mad. It was inconsiderate, you thought as you ignored the tiny voice that told you that you couldn’t be normal around him because you still liked him.

And currently you were dying because you had teamed up with Dick on a mission. Both of your skill sets matched for the mission’s needs and so this is how you ended up at the front counter of a Swiss hotel high in the mountain trying to get 2 hotel rooms instead of one. Or even just another bed.

“Madame, I apologize but there is no other room at this hotel. We are very sorry for the mix up but this is all we have. The nearest hotel is 30 kilometers north so I have very little I can do. Again, I apologize,” said the man. “It is the busy season.”

You sighed. “That’s fine. I’m tired. It’ll be fine,” you said grabbing the keys a little rougher than necessary. Dick looked at the man apologetically before following you.

The hotel was actually really nice. Very traditional with red ornamental patterned rugs and golden brown beaded board halfway up the wall. A gold chandelier hung in the front entry. A bellboy carried your bags up to the room and let you in.

The room was just as nice but tiny. Barely had enough room for the bed and a small table with 2 chairs and a tv stand. A little closet sat behind door and the tiny window with covered in thick curtains.

You tossed your bag in the closet without a care and pulled off your shoes. You groaned and stretched your toes before flopping on the bed.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Dick said grabbing a pillow.

“No just get in bed. There isn’t enough floor to sleep on. It’ll kill your back to sleep weird,” you said with a yawn. Dick stood awkwardly. You hadn’t thought about it but you were probably his only awkward ex and he didn’t know what to do about it.

“You sure? I don’t wanna be in your space,” Dick said tentatively laying down the pillow. You patted the mattress.

“You could sleep in the room beside me and I think you’d still be in my face with how tiny these rooms are,” you said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, this hotel is probably like 500 years old or something,” he said laying down. He was on his edge of the bed and you on yours. “Did I ever tell you that we toured out here when I was a kid in the circus?”

You turned to look at him. “No you haven’t. What was it like?”

“It was cold but fun. My mom got mad when I tried to do flips barefoot in the snow,” he said with a laugh. “I was probably 6. She thought I was going to get deathly sick from the cold.”

“That sounds exactly like something a mom would say,” you said with a smile.

“I also remember one of the sword swallowers tried to learn the language to speak to all the pretty women that came to the shows but he learned Swedish instead,” Dick said and you both laughed.

“I bet that didn’t go well.”

“He got lucky and the first woman he talked to spoke Swedish! It was pretty funny,” Dick said with a yawn. “We should probably get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” you said and the pillow felt like heaven. Your eyelids felt heavy and before you knew it, you were asleep. Hours later you woke to light hitting your eyes through the curtains so you snuggled closer to get it out of your eyes. Arms that wrapped around you tightened a little and you felt a humming noise that threatened to put you back to sleep.

Hot breath against your cheek made you move again. This time you woke up to take in your surroundings. A collarbone. Arms around your back. Legs tangled in your own. You hadn’t taken anyone home last night. Who was that? You blinked before realizing that you were in Dick’s arms.

You pulled back a little and he whined in his sleep and held you tighter. His touch was warm and comforting and you almost wanted to be lulled back to sleep with him. But Dick wasn’t your boyfriend and you needed to move. You shifted again and he opened his eyes to look at you in surprise.

“Oh,” he said. You both froze. “Sorry,” Dick muttered before moving his hands away slowly. His didn’t scoot away from you.

You looked at him and the way he looked at you stopped you from moving. It was raw and unfiltered in the mornin light and he clearly wasn’t over you. He looked down at your lips before looking back at your eyes.

“Morning,” you said softly. You looked down as he licked his lips. They looked soft and shiny. You slid your hand to his arm. Almost painfully slow, Dick scooted closer to where your lips were almost touching. You inhaled a little faster than normal.

“Can I,” he said already hold his head slightly turned. You leaned up to meet his lips. Dick’s hands went back around to grip your waist. The kiss started out tentative but didn’t take long to deepen. He tasted the same as you remember and his touch was familiar and comforting.

After a little bit of you both laying on your sides, Dick laid back and pulled you on top of him. You straddled his hips and kissed him hard. Dick made a moan against your lips and gripped your thighs. You rubbed down against him. You could feel him grow hard in his thin sleep pants. Dick pulled back to breathe.

“Fuck baby,” he panted. You huffed out a laugh. “What?” He asked and you grinned.

“Still has the same weaknesses, I see,” you whispered and he chuckled before shrugging. You ground down on him and he inhaled quickly.

“Yeah but so do you,” he said before flipping you over and pinning your hands above your head. You gasped into a moan as he nipped at the spot behind your ear. Dick smirked against your skin. “Yep the same spot.”

“Hmmm using it against me,” you asked and he nodded.

“Always take advantage of weaknesses. That how I was taught,” Dick said. He bent and sucked hard on the spot and you pulled at his hands, wanting to put your hands in his hair. Dick kissed down your neck to your collar and nipped at your collarbone. You made a keening sound.

“Not fair Grayson, not fair,” you said breathlessly and he chuckled.

“I could always stop,” Dick said, his breath was hot on your skin. You groaned and he chuckled. Dick slid his hands under your shirt and pulled back to slide it off. His fingers traced a new scar that you had gotten since the last time you had been together.

“Two Face,” you commented and he nodded before kissing the arcing curvature of lighter skin. You pulled at his shirt and he pulled it off too. He had some more scars too. A pair of red healing marks on his forearm that looked like claws you touched with your thumb.

“Killer Croc,” he said before kissing the valley between your breasts. You hummed in agreement before realizing what he said.

“Killer Croc? You got very lucky,” you said and he pulled back a little.

“Yeah. I mean, it got mad infected and I was out for 2 weeks but yeah, he could have ripped my arm off,” Dick said. He ran his hand along the waistband of your sleep shorts. You inhaled quickly.

“You’re too casual for a man that almost died,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” Dick answered sliding his hand in your shorts to play in your folds. Your eyes closed and you forgot all about scars and Killer Croc as he fingered you.

“Condoms?” You gasped. He grinned as he kissed along the column of your neck.

“One minute,” Dick said getting up. You watched him move around the room. His boner extremely obvious in his sleep pants. He came back with a few attached together.

“3?”

“Let’s start with one and go from there,” he smirked and you laughed. That was Dick for you. Cheeky no matter what. He pushed down his pants and rolled it on as you slid out of your panties and shorts. Dick stared down at your wet pussy. He already knew from fingering you but he certainly wasn’t complaining about the sight.

Dick climbed back over you and kissed you soundly. “Ready?” He asked and you nodded. Dick slowly thrust in and you made a soft sound. He started moving and found a good pace. It was great for missionary but it wasn’t like either of you didn’t have the ability to be a little more flexible in positions.

“I want to try something,” you whispered in his ear and he looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Go on,” Dick said excitedly. You pushed him off of you and he eagerly complied. You stood up and bent at the waist and wrapped your arms around the back of your knees with your legs closed giving Dick one hell of a show.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered. Dick moved behind you. “Like this?” He asked and you nodded. Dick slowly slid in with his hands on your hips making all kinds of little noises. “You look fucking amazing baby. Truly.”

You let Dick move for a while in this position. He alternated between holding your hips and grabbing your ass to slightly spread it to watch better. It was possible he’d never been that horny in his life. It felt amazing on your part but there was something you wanted to try without telling him.

You slowly moved your hands to the floor and put your weight on one leg. And with a smirk, you lifted one leg up and Dick inhaled deeply as you lifted it up to his shoulder. He held your leg and moaned loudly. His hips stopped and he was panting.

“Fuck, you almost made me cum right then,” he groaned. His hips started moving and all of took was a little shake of your ass for him to cum despite himself. “Fuck,” he groaned while burying himself deep. As soon as he was done, he pulled out and helped you stand up. You noted a little dusting of pink in his cheeks and ears.

“I’ll get you back. Lay down,” he said and you nodded and laid on the bed. It was no time at all that he had his lips wrapped around your clit and fingers in your core as your grabbed his hair in pleasure.

“Fuck! Dick! Fuck!” You cried, completely ignoring the fact that it was 7 am and you were in a hotel. He seemed to be hell bent on making up for the fact that he came first. Your thighs shook and you weren’t even sure but you probably screamed when you came. Dick peppered kisses up your body with a smirk as you heaved in breaths.

“Like that,” he said wryly, pulling you into his arms.

“You already know that,” you answered. He ran a finger along your arm and kissed your hair.

“So this...” he started but trailed off.

“Yeah...”

“Do you wanna... try again? Us?” He asked.

“Maybe,” you said biting your lip.

“Give it a shot?” He asked hopeful. You sat in silence for a second.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“Yeah?” He said with a smile.

“Yeah,” you answered shyly. He grinned and kissed you again. He rolled on top of you.

“Since I fucked up the first round, I should make it up to you,” he said playfully. You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“If. You. Can,” you whispered in his ear. By the end of the morning, the hotel security had come to knock on your door to quiet down.

#friday night smut #dick Grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #dick Grayson smut #batboy smut #batboy x reader

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writersblog20 · 3 years

Text

Never alone

Tom Hiddleston x reader

Not my picture. Credits to the maker! Summary: the last two weeks has been very hard for you. You’re feeling depressed but just don’t know why. But luckily Tom’s there for you to help you go through it.

Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attack but big fluff ( obviously)

Words: 2K

Never alone

You strolled through the rainy streets of London to your shared house with your boyfriend Tom, who was currently filming for the Loki series season 2. He’s been away for a while now and even though you missed him like hell, you were doing okay, you were fine, and all of a sudden you were not. You couldn’t pinpoint why or what it exactly was. The only thing was sure, is that you felt like shit. Tom could read you like an open book. Even though you tried to act okay because you didn’t want to worry him while he was filming, he knew. He knew you weren’t feeling like yourself.

Tonight you would videocall with Tom but all you wanted to do was cry and curl up in bed to just forget the world. You texted Tom, in the afternoon, that you were really tired and just go straight to bed, when you got home, but that it wasn’t something for him to worry about. He had read your text but didn’t respond, which made you actually more depressed and doubtful about everything including your relationship.

You came home and put on all the lights and petted Bobby, who never left your side since the moment you felt like shit. You knew you had to eat something but you just couldn’t stomach it. so instead you put some soft music on and got ready for a hot bath. You tried to relax but you were way to anxious to actually get some rest, so you got out not even after 15 minutes. You tried everything but panic, depression and anxiety took over and it felt like it was the worst day yet. Maybe you should call Tom and tell him about it, you thought to yourself.

You pressed the call button and waited for Tom to answer, but that never happened. You frowned and tears filled your eyes. It was not like he was filming right now because you two would call at this moment. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to you, you thought in your mind.

You started to pace around the room, not even hearing the music anymore. Your breath became rapid and you knew it was a panic attack. You sank down with your back against the heather. Your kneels pulled up against your chest , while you tried to hug yourself. And that was the moment when everything just became too much. You started to sob and cry like your life depended on it. Bobby took a seat in your lap and rested his head on your shoulder to give you somehow more comfort. You softly wrapped your arms around the dog and nuzzled your nose into his soft fur.

You were crying so much that you didn’t notice the door opening. Normally Bobby would get up and great the person who would walk through the door, which was in this case Tom. But he stayed with you curling up more against you. Tom’s heart sank when he saw you like this. He knew something was off because you were distant. “Love?” Tom asked softly not wanting to startle you, but he got no response so he walked up to you carefully and crouched down to you, softly touching your knees.

You got startled and looked up to the person who touched you with red puffy eyes. “Tom?” you asked as another pool of tears formed in your eyes. He smiled sympathetically at you. “I got it from here buddy, good job.” He told Bobby and he got out of your lap only to sit right next to you which made Tom smile a little at the little protector. Once Bobby was off of you, you quickly wrapped your arms around Tom as if your life depended on it. He held you tightly while you took a place in his lap on the ground clinging onto him. Tom rocked you softly back and forth while his hand went over your hair. “I’m here now darling, I got you. Your safe now. I got you” He repeated.

He sat with you as long as necessarily and whispered comforting words in your ear while giving kisses on the top of your head. Once you calmed down a bit Tom asked “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours my love?” your glazy eyes met his and you purely saw love in his pool blue comforting eyes. “I don’t even know. One day I was fine and the next I was not and I just don’t know.” he nodded “Why didn’t you tell me, love. You know I’ll always be there for you. You can tell me everything, you know that right?” you nodded and looked down with tears slipping out again. He placed his finger underneath your chin so you would look at him. His finger got a piece of hear out of the way while his palms found your cheeks. His thumb softly brushing away the tears.

“Because I don’t even know why I’m feeling so down and I didn’t want you to worry about it because I don’t know why I’m feeling this.” he nodded and shushed you when he noticed you got worked up again. “I tried relaxing and stuff but it doesn’t work.” You said softly. He nodded again and was thinking of a way to make you feel a little better even if it was just for a minute.

“why don’t we go to town and go sightseeing? You can take your camera and afterwards we get some snacks. How does that sound? I think it’s nice to get out of the house for a minute.” he looked at you hopefully and with a soft smile. You nodded. “You can even photograph me if you’d like” he chuckled a little. Tom loved to take pictures with you but sometimes felt uncomfortable with getting photographed even though he had done it a thousand times.

You got a little smile on your face and softly giggled, which made him smile. He softly kissed your nose, still cupping your cheeks, and after that his lips found yours. It was softly and full of love but it got more passionate from your side. You pressed your body closer to his and he his grip was tight around you. You went with your hand through his hair while you felt his tongue slip in. after a while you pulled back. “I’ve missed you so much.” You said while you rested your head on his shoulder and held him tightly. “I’ve missed you too darling, so much.” He gave you a kiss in your neck.

“Now let’s get your stuff and let’s take a walk.” You nodded and he helped you get up. “Wait, but what are you doing home? I thought you came back in two weeks.” He smiled at you and softly rubbed your cheek. “I know something was up and I wanted to check on you. I have to get back in 3 days but we’re still on schedule. So I’ll still be back in two weeks.” You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in. You kissed him on his lips. No words were needed how grateful you were and Tom knew.

You got your camera and purse and walked hand in hand with Tom towards the Big Ben. He the umbrella above the both of you. You started to feel better. Not only because you were out but mostly because Tom was with you. You took photo’s here and there and of course of Tom but only when he didn’t notice. You really did a sightseeing tour with Tom in the late rainy evening, and it felt like you could finally breath again. You knew the feeling wasn’t completely gone but it was a start and it was nice to get out like this.

After two hours of strolling you found a little restaurant like you would find from the 80’s. It really was a retro restaurant. Mostly pink and other pastel colors that glazed the restaurant. “Let’s get something to eat” Tom said and you nodded. You walked inside and you immediately knew this was going to be your favorite place to eat at.

You sat down in a booth and looked at the menu card. There were those big milkshakes that you would see in movies with the cherry on top. While you scanned the menu with a smile on your face, Tom looked up from the menu. Smiling at how beautiful you are. The neon light illuminating your face and that perfect smile that he fell in love with and every time when he saw it. You ordered a milkshake and pancakes, while Tom got fries with a burger.

They came back with the food and it was absolutely lovely. You shared the milkshake with Tom. He got one straw and you the other, giggling at how romantic and cheesy at actually was but you loved every minute of it. After you both finished Tom took you to your favorite snack store. You know the one where there’s only candy and snacks including a lot of stuff from other countries. You got everything you wanted and strolled back home with Tom.

“Thank you Tom, this really helped and I’m so happy you’re here. I love you.” he squeezed your hand and smiled. “I’m happy I’m here with you too. I love you too so much, that I can’t even put it in words.” You turned around and faced Tom, wrapping your arms around the tall and handsome man, resting your cheek on his chest and inhaling the smell of fresh rain. You felt calm for the first time in a long, long time. He held you tightly and kissed the top of your head. “I’ll always be here no matter what. You’ll never be alone.” He whispered. You got out of the hug and took his hand again, walking back home.

Tom opened the door and you got inside, placing all the stuff in the kitchen. You shivered a little. “Let’s go change into something more comfy.” Tom said and placed his hand on your back, guiding you towards the bedroom. You got into some sweatpants and a sweater of Tom, who handed it to you with a smile.

You both plopped down on the couch and watched a comedy movie. Your legs over his while he softly massaged them. You got out your sketchbook and started doodling while watching the film. After a while you just wanted to cuddle so you did. Tom laid down so you could get comfy. Your back rested against his chest and he held you tightly while his head rested on the top of your head. You felt safe and comforted.

After a while you got into bed. He started reading a book of poems to you while you rested your head on his chest feeling the rumble of his soft comforting voice. When it was time to get some sleep you just stared at each other for a while. No words were needed you could see everything in each other’s eyes. you crawled towards him and just held him tightly, listening to his heartbeat, the rain that ticked loudly at the window and his soft breathing. It was all so calming. He kissed the top of your head multiple times and massaged your head. You were almost asleep, slowly drifting off, you heard Tom whisper. “I love you so much. I’ll never let you go darling.” You were too tired to respond so you just squeezed your arms which were tightly wrapped around him. you felt one long resting kiss on your head as you felt into a comforting peaceful sleep.

He waited for you to fall into a peaceful sleep before closed his own eyes with a smile on his face knowing that you were in his arms. Maybe not okay but it’s okay to not be okay. But he will make sure that you’ll never be alone when you’re not okay. It’s a promise that he will never break.

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