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lariej · 2 years

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me? leaving fandoms? no no no you misunderstand me, i have never left a single fandom i’ve ever been in, i just find other fandoms to entertain myself with until i eventually go back to other fandoms i was in years ago

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devil-queen · 6 months

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Thinking about how Levi would be such a good boyfriend while you’re on your period 😭

You would try your best not to sulk too much or act like a baby around him, you didn’t want to be too needy, didn’t want him to see you like that (you sometimes wished you were as independent and strong as he was all the time).. But he always knew when you got your period, sometimes even before you told him. The way you would start tossing and turning at night due to cramps or rubbing your sore lower back during the day. Being a little quieter than usual, a little more distant. Being a brat and suddenly catching an attitude or getting your feelings hurt for no reason 😭

“Hey.. what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Levi, it’s fine.” You looked away, not wanting to be rude to him just because you were feeling unwell but not wanting to ask for anything either.

Then it would click. He wouldn’t say anything, he would just walk away for a few minutes and come back with the perfect remedy for whatever you were going through. Whether it was a heating pad, pain meds, a warm cup of tea with your favorite book, your favorite comfort meal or treat, your pet to cuddle with. It’s like no matter what you needed in that moment, he would bring it. He would hand it to you or set it beside you without a word, walking away and letting you indulge in it on your own for a couple of minutes. Let the heating pad warm you up or your favorite treat cheer you up a bit. Then, in a few minutes he would come back, bend down to place a kiss on your brow and gently brush his fingers through your hair. Maybe rubbing light circles down your lower back if you were laying down.

“Feeling better?”

“…… yeah….. thank you”, you say sheepishly, looking away from him. Embarrassed that you just wanted him to take care of you deep down but didn’t wanna ask.

“Can I sit with you? Or you need some alone time?”

You patted the spot next to you gently and smiled up at him. He would sit close to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. You would always lean into his touch and fit perfectly in his arms, loving how his strong arms felt wrapping around you. You always felt so safe and warm with him. Then, the next few days wouldn’t be so bad. No matter how bad your symptoms were, he was there to make it better. He would be even more caring and considerate than usual. Running you a steamy shower every night with your favorite candle lit and washing your hair for you if you didn’t feel up for it. Giving you gentle massages and extra kisses and cuddles without you having to ask. He was always more affectionate when you were on your period because he knew the level of comfort it brought you, and nothing made him happier than seeing the little blush and smile that swept across your pretty face every time he gave you this extra attention. He would do it a million times over if he had to, he would do anything for you.

((After the first 3 months of you being together he started taking note of the exact dates so he wouldn’t catch your bratty attitude without being prepared 😭 poor Levi lmfao))

#YES I’m on my period please kill me now #was I awake at 3am last night with cramps wishing Levi was here to take care of me yes #did I cry 5 separate times today yes #did I think about this exact scenario all day today when I was dying at work yes #if anyone ends up reading this pls don’t judge me I’m not a writer idk 😭#I just love him so much #levi ackerman #Levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x reader #levi aot #levi attack on titan #snk levi #levi x you #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x female reader

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mishapen-dear · 1 year

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in honour of the new life series and also the Incredible binge i just did of cleo's last life series-- here's a really old piece i did back when last life ended. cleo and her rivers....

#mishapen draws #zombiecleo #trafficblr #last life #rivers did her so so dirty in last life #and just in general #she's had at least one death in/next to a river in every series #the rotting corpse plant woman has a Thing with water okay #it's not overt but its there and it drives me nuts #scheduled post because i found this at like 3am last night lmao

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narugen · 4 days

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alright buckle up it’s time for me to spread my hoshina/ashiro agenda

1. mina being unserious as hell with the most serious face when it comes to hoshina (taking a picture of him being upset over losing kaiju #8)

2. “could you be the one to carve the path for me?” she specifically asked him because of his swordsmanship that every elder/senior in his life had dismissed him for citing it was an end of an era. she’s the only one who believed in him after years of being put down by everybody (even his own family)

3. devotion & loyalty & trust - do i even need to say anything they make me go crazy

i can’t add anymore pics so i’ll word dump properly in another post but wow i’m bonkers abt them 😭 something something thank you for choosing me / thank you for being someone i can rely on

#i spent 1 hour from 3am last night rereading the bits i said id only do after jy exam but i was in the mood.. my head is kill in g me tho #long post #soshiro hoshina #mina ashiro #hoshimina #<- sorry i cant and don’t know their official ship name but im calling it this i will be the one to steer this sheep . ship.#running it like the navy #getting back into art just so i can make fan art.#egg boils #kaiju no.8 #sorry if nobody in the tag wanted to see bisexuals #someone did a ashiro analysis and mentioned hoshina filing the empty spot kafka should’ve been in and i Agree but i also think that she’d #come to realize that they’re two different people and whilst it’s not what she’s always dreamed off/what motivated her to Even get here #i think over time she would’ve rly come to appreciate hoshina as not js a troop member or vice captain but as a person… Gah #their dynamics . So good to me they’re both so kaiju killing silly no thoughts #mina #hoshina #soshimina

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fu-cough · 5 months

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home // adrien agreste + taylor swift lyrics pt. 2

- dear reader, dear john, seven, marjorie, my tears ricochet

#i put adrien's portraits with his mother and his father did u get it did u get it #i was trying to find portraits of them and then i saw these #im so aurhgnfbgbr for this boy's family #'what are you doing this new year's eve??!!'#'crying for my blorbo'#I still have SO MANY of these in my drafts that i did at 4am last night #yes i did the first part at 3am and spent two hours organizing it so what #i am ever so consumed by my son #im enjoying this way too much lol #oh music what a piece of art #miraculous ladybug #Taylor swift #Adrien agreste #sorry if the images are bad quality :(#me playing with dark and yellow colors?? 👀#this has been in my drafts since the new year's and my tags are outdated lol

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skoulsons · 1 year

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Joel feeling like a failure and feeling the need to apologize to Ellie, even over things he can’t control, is, I think, very much an anxiety thing. And also comes down to who you are at your core. Even him telling Tommy, “I have to leave her,” because he doubts his capabilities in being able to protect her in the long run and believes she’ll be better off without him

Joel loves hard. He loves really hard when he does. He loved Tess, despite his inability to show it to her the extent I think we all believe it was. He loves Tommy, we know that. He was willing to drive cross country just to make sure he was okay after three weeks of radio silence. Maybe not loved, but he sure started to care about Henry and Sam and was willing to let them join he and Ellie on their journey to Jackson. And he loves, loves Ellie. More than he’s even comfortable with. (Un)willing to leave her, shove her away from him, even if it means she’ll be safe, as much as he wants to keep her right next to him, held against his side

But what comes with loving someone, what comes with having a heart like this, and what comes with this fear of the well-being and safety of those around you, is a striking belief in your inability to do for them what you believe you should do. It is blaming yourself for things out of your control when they come up in the others life. It’s believing you’re responsible for…nearly everything about them. It is caring way too much about them that you want to take that pain upon yourself to relieve that person of it. And it, in turn, makes you believe you’re not good enough when you can’t. Incapable. Unworthy. Along with the general mix of…not feeling adequate or good enough in general. You want to help this person in every way, but your belief in your inadequacy creates such a debilitating sense of understanding of what you really want and who you are

But, I say it’s an anxiety thing because of believing that person will blame you for something that’s out of your control. That because you couldn’t stop something that, frankly, is completely out of your control and responsibility and could’ve never stopped in a million years, you find a way to blame yourself and, in turn, think this person will also blame you for not being able to stop it. Because you care too much and are too freaked over protecting them that your understanding of how they feel gets completely warped. That you think they’ll lash out and cut you off. That they’ll be angry with you for what you couldn’t stop. And, out of the fear of believing that could happen, you take it upon yourself to apologize. To try and take it and place the blame upon yourself. To try and keep that person from becoming angry with you

And we know Joel (I think??) took anti anxiety meds even Before. That he was forced to cut it immediately, worsening it tremendously. And with how hard he loves, especially Ellie? That’s a nightmare for mental health. His fear over her life and well-being. His belief in his inability to protect her due to how afraid he is. How he’s failed at protecting her innocence, something that is inevitably out of his control because of the world they live in. How he probably blames himself for Ellie watching Henry off himself. Something, again, he could not control because Henry threatened his life. And nearly Ellie’s. And he tells Tommy he has to leave her because he believes he’s incapable and unworthy of protecting her. Maybe it is his age and hearing. More than that, I think it’s a mix of this anxiety and his golden love for her that makes him think it’s the right thing to do

People like this, like me, need a lot of convincing. Convincing and reaffirming that not everything is on us. That we can be taken care of. That we can take breaks and don’t have to hold the weight of the world on our shoulders, and I think that’s exactly what Winter does for Joel and Ellie. For Joel to, in my opinion, view himself in this light and to shove her away and for her to come running back, holding his hand and telling him, wordlessly, that she is there to take care of him. She’s there to convince him, “it’s you and me. Rest, let me take care of you.” To reaffirm and comfort him through it. Sure, he’s forced to rest bc he’s basically comatose, but it applies to at least the beginning. That his probably last real moment of consciousness before he wakes in episode 8 was her coming back to take care of him. To show him that it’s not just him

#maybe this is just 3am me projecting #which it VERY well could be #but idk I was thinking about joel and anxiety and my fingers just typed things #so who knows if this makes any sense whatsoever #if it doesn’t please act like I never ever typed this!!#the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams #I feel like there are things I mentioned here that I did not connect back to but I am very very sleepy so I apologize for that #this feels like a school essay that I didn’t do an outline or a rough draft for #and I just handed it in when I wrote it all the night before

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feelslikegold · 9 months

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good morning babygirl I am so proud of you ❤️💕❤️

#this could be a queue we don’t know #3am and this cranky is not a good sign #but I hope jake spends all day reminiscing and feeling the absolute best about himself he did so amazing last night <3 #but I also need jake to post tomorrow (or soon 😔) for me bc I am gonna be struggling tomorrow 🧍🏻‍♀️#jake ilysm <3 #jake kiszka

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fitgothgirl · 10 months

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So tired of insomnia 😩 (pun intended…)

#I DID take my Wellbutrin at like 1:30 yesterday so that probably didn’t help #idk tho then why am I waking up at like 3am and later?#later today I’m going to make a point to get a hard cardio workout #I want to do everything I can to sleep decently on my own #I don’t want to rely on/become dependent on the trazodone 😣#I took it last two nights ago but if my next sleep sucks again I’ll take it again the following night #mine #insomnia

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hobbithoes · 13 days

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i may no longer tattoo but my freakish finger bump shalt remain as a reminder ….

#LOL THE MATURE TAG 😭 my penis finger #I’m packing up to move tn I’m so sleepy I been up since 5am then 3am last two nights with barely any sleep bc I was nervous lollll #tbh I’m making this post to procrastinate i keep walking around aimlessly I’m so tired of packing 😭#freaking hoarders nest lol #it might just be from the wireless tattoo machines tbh my work bestie has one 2 #but idk anyone else in the shop who does then again I’m not close enough to anyone else besides piercers enough to know 🙀#but yah I quit me job I was making nooo money like I have 140 rn and my rent is 700😊 so stepdads mom is helping me she’s so sweet #she’s helping me move too I’m moving into my bfs parents house for like a month before our big move to PHILLYYYYY💕💕#I was tweakingggg like I felt so bad I think it’s finally okay now even if they don’t let me out of the lease it’s just the last month #of my lease I can’t pay so they can’t evict me it won’t ruin my credit 😝😝😝 just might be debt if they’re bogus about it lol #but I already have like 6 or 7 thousand of that from my owed taxes from tattooing for 2 years 🫣🫣🫣🫣lolll aint been paying that shit #I already typed my whole situation out so many times I deleted like twice right after and a couple times it wouldn’t postttt #so it better post 😡😡😡#quit my job I don’t have to TATTOOO ANYMOREEE YAYYYY #I think that’s why I was tweaking too I haven’t not worked for any point in 4 years 😩 so it feels so weird #the finger numb gets flat if im tattooing all day and hurts super bad 😵‍💫 beat into submission by the machine pressure digging in 😳#bump * 😡#anyway thanx for reading my novel in the tags if u did #right ring finger 💍 btw my angles r a bit confusing here I must admit

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bataranqs · 22 days

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10 Happy Things

May 11, 2024

Slept most of the day let's gooo

My bed and clothes are so warm and cozy

Called my mom and apparently she was out with people but she stepped outside to talk to me for a bit before going back to them and just feeling very very loved

My mom called me back and I talked to my sisters for nearly two hours hwjoiegdjkl we're just absolute nerds the lot of us

The Bible Plan I've been doing these past few days is just re-looking at everything from the basis of just get right with God, are you following Jesus and it's been very comforting to have that reminder like it is relational, it is supposed to be a delightful life we're living, there's no stress at all about doing x or y and if you're supposed to, it will not be anything but good

I can't really move my toes individually (except the ones at the ends) and I think it's kinda cute. They're a pack. They're friends. Do Not Separate.

The Tim Horton's White Hot Chocolate is so insanely good

Dungeon Meshi is such a good manga broooo

There are so many joys that I don't think I'll run out of them, and isn't that just the most delightful thing ever?

When I started this list I was feeling a little tired but now I'm quite happy and excited!! I'm so grateful to Katie for getting me into this, and my friends who also do stuff like this

#5 happy things #i don't know why but sometimes i feel a bit silly posting these online bc they're always so personal #like my awesome mom and my weird toes and my religious leanings - i know none of it is very relateable #but i think we're all allowed to be a little selfish in our joy and it's little hurt to see someone else's pleasure i hope #i got my period last night and was as usual quite unwell physically but oh what a delight it was otherwise #i went through the little routine i tend to go through with my mom of like dragging over a chair to lay on while in the bathroom #and setting up the trash can and such nearby #and i missed my mom and thought about calling her and i didn't bc it was like 3am though i did immediately today hehe #but i just thought it was really so incredible to have a mom who i wanted to call when i was ill. who i could call anytime i wanted #how rare is that? how wonderful is that? it touched me so much that all the physical pain felt worth it for the proper knowing of that love #i was thinking about all the good things i've been given - my house and bed and blankets and covers and clothes #and as i was praying i was also thinking that this was what my dad taught me and how he comforted me #and when he prayed for me or tells me he prays for me that's how i know he loves me more than i could know #there are a lot of my joys i think are embarrassing but to be treasured isn't one of them. that one's just pure thankfulness #i know i'm quite spoiled and young and silly in many ways and i'm so thankful for it. i hope i can love others even a fraction as i've been #knowing full well that i'll always be in debt to the goodness of the world and the kindness it unceasingly gives me

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moony4pads · 25 days

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*voice of a girl that zonned out 2 hours ago and does not now what is going on*: I Sleept 0 hours last night and is totally functioning

#i have been cursed by the insomina gods #yesterday i rejoyenced realising i regularly was gotton 7-8 hours of sleep in the nights of the holiday period #and overall my insomina has been looking up recently #like im talking up to 6 hours on a school night sometimes! (yes sometimes sschool starts at 11 but i still hav to lissen so is still school)#so the gods cursed me for being a celebratory duck and made me get 0 hours of sleep #no ajustment period to return to my insomiac fays to get used to the feeling of heavy eyelids like brics i cant hold open #this was w no changed to my routine btwwww en no extra stress specifically on that day i had not before had #so yeah fate was basicly like now that you have engnolged that ur improving i have to put you back to squere 1 #like a smakes and ladders board game but with numbers on the blokths #*SQUARES that js the word #how is it that this time last year i was regularly dealing w this shit and going through a functioning day like this #cant be me now #i have been spoiled by the sleep god and now i no longer now how to work on 0 hours of sleep an unmedicated brain and a crushing headache #(and it used to be that the days were i did get sleep i only got ever like 3-5 hours never any of this 7 hour shit i had saved up yet i #surviveded) i am no longer surviving succesfuly #my brain is too priocrepied trying to kwep my eyes open it cant think properly #there was a market today but i dint have the energy to go wich is a shame #also i am litterlay buried in dealdimes that i couldnt motivate myself to work on before i insominaed again so idk what ill do now #cry mabey but i am not feeling tears it is the buring jeeping my eyes open and they are not tears they are the regret of 3am me #insominac #insomnia #adhd #sleep #fail at life if lige is sleep and it is sleep in actuality #NO SLEEP BITCH LIKE COULD YOU NOT GAVE AT LEADT GIVEN ME 1 OR 2 HOURS JUST FOR FUNSIESES

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heartsofhounds · 10 months

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PLEEEAAASEE WHY DID I DRAW HIS WOLF SO SCRUNKLY LAST NIGHT HAHAHAHAH

#IM REDOING THAT IMMEDIATELY I DREW MILO’S WOLF FORM LAST NIGHT WHEN IT WAS 3AM #AND I WAS SO HIGH PLSSS WHY DID I DRAW HIM LIKE THAT‼️💀#alright im gonna redo that #drawing time #laughs in veteran wolf kid and totally not gonna overdo it on picking the best wolf subspecies to model the boys off of #fen rambles

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ordinarytalk · 1 year

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I have been up until 3 or 4am leading ghost hunts for the past two days after spending the whole day before the hunt doing a massive cleanup on the ghost hunt site to get ready for the paranormal convention next week where I'm going to be leading hour-long history tours nonstop all day and then doing more ghost hunts and night and I still am not sure I know the history well enough so now I need to spend today trying to put together an hour-long history tour and practicing it while also getting all my stuff ready for next weekend because I only have Monday afternoon off after work and I won't be free to do anything until after 8pm on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday because I'm teaching swimming lessons after regular work and on Friday I need to go to the haunt grounds immediately after work to lead a celebrity ghost hunt with a bunch of celebrities from ghost hunting shows and then on Saturday is when I do all the history tours so I need to have my history stuff down today because I won't have much chance all week to practice it let alone do stuff like cook and clean and laundry and I actually got super sick last week and am still recovering and the fatigue was already off the charts before the 4am ghost hunts this weekend and if one more thing happens I am going to become a DC Batman villain

#I am having fun but I'm so tired that I start falling alseep every time I sit down #legit did not sit down at all for almost 18 hours yesterday #during the last hour of the ghost hunt last night I caught myself thinking #that I should tie people in the group together 'to keep them safe' while I went to the bathroom #realized afterwards that wasn't a normal sort of thought. That was a 3am severely exhausted thought.#personal stuff #I have so much to do but I also want a nap rn so bad #I do not know any of the celebrities because I do not really watch ghost hunting shows but apparently they're big deals

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audiovisualrecall · 5 months

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Constant pain only dulled for a whole day by daily taking full dosage of tylenol and also 1 advil even tho I'm not supposed to take NSAIDS

Miserable