#and i never even read them bc i cant read!!!!!

[3-aem]

yall ever make an online purchase where buyers remorse hits u before u even click the button truly one of the decisions of all time

#delete later #idk what tags i added previously #but basically was just discussing how much i hated school purchases #like they didnt even reimburse u for that stuff #they just msde u buy textbooks and programs you could only use for one semester #and i never even read them bc i cant read!!!!!

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Chapter 1 Takeaways from F&B:

One-gon was boring as hell & super cringe & Rhaenys was probably happy every time he was with Visenya instead of her bc I know that man had the lamest stroke game. Visenya, likewise, really appreciated that he preferred Rhaenys. So overall, no one but him was having a good time (assuming he was capable of that, bc he sounds like a sad sack). Weakest link in the incest polycule. Absolutely milquetoast man. -3/10, good for Rhaenys for fucking those bards. If HBO didn't scrap the Conquerors show I hope they make him the saddest, gothest boy who I can make fun of. Make that man Worse Hamlet (Bolognalet, if you will).

Aegon's landing is the Westerosi origin of the "and everybody clapped" joke within the universe of asoiaf. The maesters had to work so hard to make that man look like a cool gigachad & the whole trio look wanted. Stop calling him "Aegon the Dragon," they all had dragons & his sisters were way cooler about that! Stop saying everyone tried to marry into his crusty family, I know the Westerosi Lords had better standards for their kids!

The Conquerors sucked so much that they literally only won because they had sentient nukes. Absolutely hilarious. An act of the gods had been required to take out my Belligerence King Argilliac.

I am still obsessed with Argella Durrandon. I have nothing but respect for my Storm Queen, & her soldiers can choke.

I'm never going to stop finding the conquest sad. Three entire noble lineages got completely destroyed (I can't say I'm crying over Harren Hoare, but it's still tragic in a way) so that everyone else could just...give up. That's what it reads as: everyone else (save Meria Martell) giving up so they wouldn't get barbecued & risk the lives of their people. It's really, really sad that Lame-o Aegon 1 decided he was the solution to a problem he didn't want to tell anyone else about, & decided to just conquer a whole continent about it. #SeparateTheKingdomsAgain

Stan Meria Martell. Not only because she was an absolute icon & kept her kingdom unconquered, but because she didn't cringe out of her skin/probably kept a semi-straight face when Rhaenys threatened her. What a queen princess ❤️

The only Maester Conspiacy™ going on, is the one to kiss Targ ass & try to make all their cringefail kings look cooler than they are in order to keep from getting killed & having the whole order dismantled by one (1) butthurt Valyrian who's upset his grandpa didn't get called the right title or have the correct amount of smoke blown up his ass.

#misa reads f&b #they only got to be truthful about maegor bc his own family didn't even like him (save visenya) #personal #anti targaryen #if george shows me a cringe sad 'mysterious' targ man i *am* going to make fun of him #sorry mr. martin i cant take any of them seriously #also i am never going to stop referring to ALL the aegons like this #one-through-six-gon

[hella1975]

you ever have a fic get you in such a chokehold you start pacing your room and talking to yourself

#THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY #BURN IT ALL DOWN BY DOROTHYCANFLY ON AO3 THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF MY TOP 5 FICS OF ALL TIME EVER #IT'S GOT THE BEST DABI CHARACTERISATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS IT'S GOT REALLY WELL WRITTEN DABIHAWKS #THAT FITS BOTH OF THEM LIKE THEY'RE MEAN AS HELL ABOUT IT AT FIRST #IT'S GOT STUPIDLY DEVOTED TOUYA-SHOUTO IT'S GOT PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER TOUYA #IT'S GOT MENTAL ANGST WRITTEN LIKE A DREAM THE WRITING IN GENERAL IS INSANE #IT'S ACTION PACKED BUT DONE WELL SO THAT IT'S NOT TEDIOUS IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT TWISTS #IT'S KEEPING ME ON MY TOES I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING OR HOW FAR THE AUTHOR IS WILLING TO GO #IVE LITERALLY READ 300K WORDS IN TWO DAYS AT THIS POINT LIKE I AM ABSOLUTELY FINISHING THIS TONIGHT #WHAT THE FUCK EVEN AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THIS #EVERY NEW THING THAT HAPPENS LITERALLY HAS ME GETTING UP TO PACE ABOUT #I CLOCKED OUT OF MY MUM TELLING ME OFF EARLIER BC I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC #DO U KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS BASO JUST SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT BUT I DIDNT CARE #losing my goddamn mind respectfully <3 if anyone has read this pls yell with me about it #and if anyone knows mha and wants a fic rec PLEASE let it be this one it's my fav mha fic ever and ive read A LOT #it gets quite smutty in the middle but if that's not ur thing the author tws very well and u can kinda just scroll #so that u still get the important character developments without it being just pure smut lol #god this FIC. holding it in my fucking fist and squeezing the everloving life out of it im going INSANE #i cant remember the last time a fic got me this way im literally giggling about it all #HE FOUND A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN THEY TOOK THIS MANGLED BLOODY BOY AND SAID WE LOVE YOU #YOU ARE GOOD YOU CAN STAY YOU CAN REST NOW WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HE CHOSE THEM! HE CHOSE THEM! #OVER HIS REVENGE AND HIS RAGE HE CHOSE THEM! IM GOING TO BE VIOLENTLY SICK #like the author LETS DABI BE A CUNT. the first chunk of the fic he's actively not a good person #and his coping mechanisms are shot to shit and we WATCH HIM GROW FROM THAT i have cried several times over the most mundane shit #goddddddddDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAKSJFJKAGSFIUAHGJKAKG #mha #fic rec

[jrueships]

the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues

#hard to will myself to just brush my teeth #it's so fucking annoying having these highs and lows and never a middleground bcs it's like #which one is actually me?? #i feel like none of them are really #when im feeling high energy i act extra confident and funny showman #but as soon as i stop i just feel huge regret and embarrassment over it #but im also so lifeless and feel like i can only say a lot if it's abt smthing negative bcs i can feel more deeply when im low #but it's only abt dark intense stuff #and when im in my highs i just dont have the attention span to care abt deep anything #it's like im either soaring in the sky or drowning in the sea #im never just On Land #like i cant just enjoy Earth #it's so fucking aggravating #' i would love to have high energy highs tho bcs i would be able to get sooo much done' #yea. it seems like a lot. until u realize it's literally just flighty-ass attempts at catching up on being a half human #trying to do all the stupid shit u somehow found aggravating difficult to even think abt doing during 1 of ur lows #like . why am i having to try and make a mental note to myself on... responding to. compliments. #when im in a higher energy mood #like. why cant i just #ARGGHEHHHHHHHRHRHHRHRRRR #anyways yea srry abt all the asks piling up and then me asking for more anyways and all the texts on read

[obihoe]

madara rlly seems like a bit of a personal curse on ohnoki i think sgsgsgsds like he's so. well not scared maybe but intimidated? by him? or maybe he IS scared, like he still remembers meeting him even as an old man. madara didnt even do anything back then, he just showed off a bit of his power and dropped a few mean-sounding lines. but it seems as if ohnoki was traumatized by this for life sfsgdgds like he's literally shown as the embodiment of an unconquerable wall from his perspective. like in connection w what his sensei taught him and now he's like 80 or 90 and he has to fight him again, this time for real. and madara BEATS his ass AND calls him an ugly old fuck who cant fight for shit and is cringe. LOL its like fate itself was like well youre not getting rid of this fucker. he'll die but he'll come back to life just to haunt u specifically

#ohnoki #madara #posts #poor ohnoki man im so sorry #adgsgdgsfds #i rlly like this scene tho where he thinks of the thing with the wall that his sensei taught him #and its put in connection w mdr and mdr seems so all-powerful #and scary #like his sensei was like 'smtimes there are obstacles/walls in ur way and u have to overcome them #u should never give up and stay strong. and conquer that wall' but he CANT #bc mdr is so strong ... without even using his full power #hehe #i rlly like that image ESPECIALLY in connection w the way mdr. i mean he's not happy abt this confrontation #and the way that it goes. he's unhappy w everything at this point #like ... something abt maybe u can read into this too how he's uncomfortable being so strong #or like his power. its a burden on him #having to use it is burdensome #being part of a society where u constantly have to measure ur power w others is burdensome #he wishes it would not be part of his life anymore. now that the village was founded. but it still is he can never escape it #he cannot ever escape constant conflict and having to rely on his strength all the time instead of diplomacy #... i mean. it is most likely the case that the point of this (mdr's) mission here WAS actually diplomacy #but mdr feels like there's no point in talking #he has given up already on talking #(not fully i guess. since he just intimidates and doesnt attack #but he still feels like this is the only way and it will stay that was always) #*that way

[theygender]

For any horror fans out there that haven't read it yet: The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher is SO GOOD. I don't remember ever being so scared by a book

#the hollow places is also very good but it made me feel more like... fascinated than scared #the twisted ones actually has me like... i cant read it alone at night bc i get too spooked lol. i have to read it in bed next to my gf #and then i STILL get spooked. i spent all of last night in between dreams Scared Of Monsters Getting Me #until i woke up this morning and realized wait a second... that was in the book not real life #i am. so pleased by this. it is SO hard for me to find content that actually scares me anymore #and i love the authors voice too. the characters in each book have their own unique voices and both books have way different vibes #but even with that theres still some sort of just... essence that the author brings thats very present in both books and i really enjoy it #would definitely recommend both of them and i will DEFINITELY be checking out more of her books #rambling #edit: im looking at a list of her other books and two of them have a nonbinary mc?? hell yeah!!! #ive never seen a nonbinary person just casually represented in a non-lgbt focused novel. ESPECIALLY not as the protagonist in a horror #t kingfisher I LOVE YOU

[daydadahlias]

do you read a lot of fanfiction from other fandoms?

yeah!! I have pretty Specific interests lol that 5sos fic doesn't usually fulfill (for obvious reasons bc it's rpf) so I usually go to read Supernatural fic or Marvel (stucky <3) fic!! I love Finnick-centric Hunger Games fics but they are pretty rare. I also read fic for pretty much any media I consume tbh!! So I read a lot of Community fic when I watched it over Christmas break. I love Batman fic too omg !! Anything with Bat Family is so sweet <3 And White Collar fic and Prison Break fic are pretty good too. If I've watched the show/movie or read the book, I've definitely read fic about it lmao.

#i tried hazbin hotel fic bc i watched that show but uh #yeah i cant get past sdfghj people describing them as animals lmfao it's not for me #pigeon #i read a bunch of glee fic hmm what else... #stan613 #yeah idk sometimes i read fic in fandoms ive never even been in if I'm looking for something Specific #like sometimes i'll do fic research (usually smut related) and go read examples from other fandoms to see how other people have written it! #or i'll read a fic from another fandom if someone recommended it to me

[violentdevotion]

wait do you have a fav boys character yet ?

i really like butcher but i feel like that's a basic answer and also the wrong answer. in another world id like frenchie but i can't get over how much i hate the actor. I love maeve theres never a moment she's on screen where im thinking get this woman outta here she's always entertaining to me. i like starlight but (and this is probably a bit nasty to say) there's smth a little uncanny valley about her sometimes where when she's talking im not listening but staring at her face trying to see what features throwing me off. I hate ashley but the actress played an insufferable character in jessica jones too and I really appreciate her ability to play The Most annoying woman you know.

centrist answer i like them all (except stormfront. hated her before i even knew she was a nazi. she was on insta live and i was waiting for her to explode and die) but my fave would have to be butcher bc i find im rooting for him the most and constantly justifying his actions. but sometimes karl urbans accent pisses me off. also black noir but he doesn't Do anything so it's hard to have him as a fave bc he's barely there.

#ameeras.got.mail #kieran tag #ik men like soldier boy so ill wait to see him do some evil disgusting horrendous thing that would make most ppl go ew he sucks but make #cis men ages 18-35 go wow hes soo cool #i like kimiko too but i dont think im allowed to say shes my fave when sometimes when shes like i dont want to be a weapon anymore :( im #mad at her and thinking get over it. i like mm but hes kinda this mother hen character and i dont rly tend to favour characters who are the #rational voice of reason like can we please get some conflict here #hughies whatever. i rly like his dad though lets go simon pegg #in the 7: homelander sucks. i find a train fun but his athlete storyline wasnt compelling to me personally bc the more i thought about it #the more i thought his superpower sucks. despite it all i find the deep kinda fun. i like that hes a scientologist. #didnt like transparent. was meh about lamplighter. didnt like whats his name sonicboom?? had a personal vendetta against that hijabi supe #we saw for like 2 seconds girl what are you doing there !!!!!! why are you playing into the diversity market !!!! #like edgar but in the way everyone likes giancarlo esposito's characters #nadia is whatever she was always meh to me even as a background character but i rly love the idea of having the superpower to explode #peoples heads with your mind i cant help but think of the xmen and think about if there was a mutant with the ability to explode heads with #their mind and that was their only ability and what a hard fucking sell that would be for xavier #(ive never read the xmen comics and have only seen some of the movies so i like to imagine charles xavier as lilo in the lilo and stitch #cartoon where every episode she would find an experiment with a unique function to destroy and would have to find it a home where it could #help instead. like yeah this experiment fattens people up and eats them lets put him in a resturant or smth #but with mutants #this mutant makes ice lets send him to a fridge company. this mutant explodes heads lets.... erm. #)

[themyscirah]

Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)

#god amanda waller what did they do to you.... #i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD #fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific #unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics #WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME #like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we #turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit. #we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the #main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever #so sick of this #and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the #obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters #like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING. #this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her #this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly #dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters. #why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime #blah #amanda waller #istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here #suicide squad #you know what. at least we had the movie #you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future #viola davis save me... #need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think #thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision #but then again maybe im stupid

[francy-sketches]

people will say literally anything to hate on hotd for no reason I just saw someone say the dragons in got were better. bitch they look like burnt vegetables

#i cant tell if that's drogon or viserion lol #i THINK it's viserion bc he looks more yellow than red #asoiaf: 'The majority of Viserion's scales are cream but his horns wing bones and spinal crest are gold colored' got: i cant read sorry :( #there are many things i can forgive in got but the dragon design will never be one of them. those are some ugly ass lizards #'ew vhagar looks like an old dinosaur' yes girl that is the point ❤ #not that the hotd dragons are perfect (they made dreamfyre black💔😔) but compared to this theyre masterpieces #wait holy shit i just checked the og scene. it looks even worse lmao this pic has the saturation cranked up. embarassing #they didnt even bother designing a saddle or those ladder thingys vhagar has. dany has to step on drogon's wing to get on him lol #'no its bc she's so strong and cool she doesnt need it' girl WHAT is she immune to gravity 😭 no they just didnt care #gotta love how her hair stays in perfect shape while flying also

[soldier-poet-king]

Thank u bullshit double standards for reminding me why I absolutely need to move out no matter how much I fear the urban isolation or the cost of rent

#franposting #ughhhh #thE SHEER SEXISM OF IT ALL #ik ik eldest daughter parentified child js maybe exaggerated on this site #but in MY case? every single stereotype is true and im so fuckin angry #im tired. #i cant live even a little #and my brothers continue to pull such shit and get away with it. and even be CODDLED #and all i ever got was harsh criticism and higher expectations #ive never been coddled in my entire goddam life #im the only one of the adult children who even REMOTELY has my life together #and yet. they can do whatever they want. bc my parents feel bad and like them better #and im being compared to the teen who is being a dramatic butthead. bc yknow. a teen #as if me being explicitly suicidal for my entire teen years is comparable to my brother throwing a hissy fit over an iPhone #thanks. glad to see im being taken seriously. that all the work i put into myself and my recovery and my academics are being appreciated #thanks ://// #i am going. to meal prep. shower. scream a lil. watch arcane. read. ignore these mfs

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im still procrastinating so bear with me #ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system #bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i #moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me #like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them #like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract #and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone #surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow #i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents #like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case #its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl #bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my #skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control #and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with #the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum #its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all #still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working #sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain #works better in the early morning rip #unrelated

[reki-of-the-valley]

The wild thing about having a Greek myth class is that the professor absolutely HATES every modern adaptation of Greek myths (ex: PJO and SoA), but then you come to realize it's because they just. Hate Greek myth. In general.

#and like. theyre super respectful about everything #and theyre aware that a lot of people love the modern adaptation and never shit on them with the intent of turning fans away #and their opinions have valid arguments #but holy shit. #im more of a SoA girlie than a PJO one simply bc i actually finished SoA and could enjoy the poetic writing style #but the offense i felt when she said that SoA did a shut job at capturing the beauty and queerness of Achilles and Patroclus #like did we read the same book? #yes Patroclus was fucking gay in the iliad but also. ??????? #my good dude wtf #and i cant even say its bc she doesnt have the lit background i do to take notice of the writing style butt theyre a lit trained professor #flabbergasted #hush lils

[strwbrymlkshake]

who up praying for downfalls 🤨

#mine #yandere #yancore #yandere vent #oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy #its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking #the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with #my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in #a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear #of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right #youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person #this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for #their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are. #i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think #idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight #its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU #but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway #if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test #die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said #this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten #with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like #we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it. #because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!! #like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business #clearly they did not grow up italian 💀 #clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything #anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist #advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours #and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves. #if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc

[baekuras]

Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out

nope

it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)

#txts #i am not excited #bc its always difficult to do specialized shit in another language #AND the person i am examining doesnt even know english and has a translator #so I speak english and the translator translates it over #which CAN be fine #but for finer reactions it can screw things over a bit so i hope thats not the case (: #also my coworker who can also do these in english got salty and decided to not do them anymore bc its not in his job description #which like-great i guess we can all just decide not to do things #like....an eye exam which IS in our job description with no languages specified (: #but then he is also the first to cry about ppl not going above and beyond #truly amazing thinking there #its not even like its truly hard its just annoying to do if the person you examin doesnt fucking understand you #goes for native german speakers as well #some ppl just dont have braincells #'please look at the number 9 in the 3 line' #//begins to read the entire thing from the top again #look-stupidity is not a sin and neither is misunderstanding stuff even if sometimes idek how you could #but also.....pls just actually listen and comprehend the words i am using #also dont suddenly throw out a 3rd or 4th option on a 2 question answer #or dont fucking interrupt me during a question either (: #'alright so do you prefer 1 or-' 'URGH NO THATS SO BAD NO NEVER' 'OR 2' 'NOOOOOO THATS BAD!!!!! I CANT SEE!!!' #yes m'am we are fuCKING WORKING ON IT #RELAX PLEASE DEAR FUCKNG GOD WE ARE LIKE 30SECONDS IN #this suddenly turned into a tags-rant oops #but yeah #pet peeve is ppl fucking interrupting me (: or not listening at all ever (:

[silenthillbunni]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))