AAAA ITS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK!
I love your characterization of Alastor sm ❤️❤️❤️
Could I request reader dropping dead things (people/body parts, deer, etc.) at his door/radio tower? No note, just corpses. He’s gotta figure out who tf if dropping these for him.
a/n: thank you, it's so good to be back!! i really appreciate you and everyone for being so welcoming :')) <3
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
"You've been doing what?!"
"I didn't think it was so bad... You're the one who wanted me to make friends!"
Charlie only gawks at you, tugging at the ends of her hair in stress. The Princess of Hell paces back and forth across the room, slowly piecing together why Alastor has been in such a foul mood lately.
"So you thought the best way to make friends with the Radio Demon was to leave dead bodies at his doorstep?"
"He loves dead bodies."
"Yeah, to eat them! Oh god, what kind of message have you been sending to him?" She babbles on, exasperated and flinging her hands around in a panic. "He must think you're threatening him or something!"
"Well..." you make some sort of constipated expression and Charlie stops dead in her tracks. "He might not know they've been from me."
"You've been leaving them anonymously?" The Princess squeaks, unsure of whether that makes it infinitely better or infinitely worse. "What was even the point then?"
"I get nervous!" You argue, flopping back on the couch and laying an arm over your eyes. "I was going to tell him eventually."
Alastor was a different breed of terrifying. He could silence a room just by breathing in it. The wailing souls in his broadcast were enough to command that sort of attention.
When Charlie had given you the task of making friends as a part of her "redemption project" you had assumed he was exempt from the list. He was, after all, fairly secluded despite his cheery demeanour. Very few had ever managed to become his companions.
However, your hopes of avoiding him had been flushed down the drain when you accidentally bumped into each other on the way out on your very first day.
He gave you a look over, scrutinizing you from head to toe until your cheeks burned. Then, demanded something very simple of you:
"Welcome! Please, do entertain me."
His first and, as of today, last words he ever spoke to you. Sure, your methods were a little unorthodox, but you had asked Husk for advice and Alastor's cannibalistic tendencies were as much as the bartender was willing to spill.
When you don't receive any response, you peel your arm away to peer at your friend. She makes another two laps around the coffee table before her face lights up.
"I've got it!"
"I don't like that look on your face—"
"Come on," she laughs, pulling you by the wrists. "You just have to be honest. And make sure he knows you're not trying to kill him!"
"How am I supposed to do that?" You ask nervously. "You just told me he's been in a worse mood than usual."
A sinister smile that could only belong to the daughter of the devil creeps its way across her lips.
Dread. All you feel is terrible dread.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
As much as Alastor enjoys a good meal, this is becoming excessive.
It must be the seventh or eighth body this week. And, as usual, there is no note. No indication of why there's a corpse or a deer head or a rabbit's foot at his door. He can't even sniff out any traces of a soul being here.
He hates charity.
Not even because he does not need it, but because the anonymity is making him think they're gifts of pity. That, or it's a threat on his life. Either way, he loathes the idea that someone is looking down on him.
The demon needs to get to the bottom of this soon. Paranoia is not common for him, but the anxious bubbling in his chest is unmistakable. Whoever keeps leaving the bodies at his door is meticulously clean when they kill. He would hate to be on the receiving end of the blade.
Just as he's about to dump the body in his swamp for later, there's a knock on his bedroom door. He hesitates.
No, he isn't afraid of whoever is on the other side of the door. However, if there were a fight, he would need to get his suit tailored again and he simply doesn't have the time for that today.
He takes slightly too long to decide whether or not the person on the other side of the wall is a threat, because soon enough his ears pick up the sound of retreating footsteps.
Alastor swings the doors open so fast that you yelp.
At first he's confused why you refuse to turn around to look at him. Lacking common manners—he'll have to bring that up to you later. Then, he's confused on why you've shown up to his door at all.
"May I help you, dear?"
A chill creeps down your spine. Charlie and her ideas... they would be the death of you. Preferably today. Right now.
"I didn't mean to disturb you!" You stammer, still not looking at him.
Alastor raises a brow before popping up behind you from the shadows. You squeak, clutching somehing to your chest and shielding it from his gaze. He does a loop around your body and you spin around to keep the item hidden. The Radio Demon narrows his eyes.
"Are you hiding something?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
You do another spin as he tries to get a peek of what's in your hands.
"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" He feigns offense. Again, another spin.
"Of course not!"
"You see, I very much don't enjoy being lied to. Last time I caught a scoundrel in my midst, I cracked them open like a—"
"Okay, okay!" You suddenly burst out. You turn so slow that Alastor feels himself holding his breath.
When he finally sees what you've been so insistent on hiding, he snickers. Impolitely, mind you.
"Don't laugh," you whine, squeezing the bouquet closer to your chest. Amongst the flowers are little pieces of death—fingers, eyes, ears.
Charlie had decided that one step back in your redemption by collecting body parts like this would result in three steps forward. She allowed it, just this once.
"Are these for me?" He purrs, leaning down until his face is in yours. You'd been warned before that Alastor had no concept of personal space, but you can't help the way it robs the air in your lungs.
"Please don't get the wrong idea," you strain in embarrassment. "I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. For leaving all those bodies here. I didn't mean for it to come across as insulting."
The demon blinks at you in stunned silence for a few moments before he cackles, standing back to let you breathe again. "Why, of course! No hard feelings, darling."
"Really?" You lighten up with a sigh of relief.
"Your little gifts have kept me on my toes," he assures. "Perhaps not my idea of entertainment, but the effort was there."
"I'm glad to hear that," you smile. "Charlie was worried you wouldn't accept my apology or want to be friends."
You seem to catch yourself, eyes going wide as you shake your head.
"N-Not that I'm assuming this means we can be friends!"
Alastor only laughs again, gentler this time. "No need to be so jumpy. I don't bite," he muses. "And tell the Princess she has nothing to worry about."
He takes the bouquet from you, hands lingering over yours for a fraction longer than he meant for them to.
"I would love to be your friend."
~
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PICK A CARD: a message from your future self
Pick whichever picture you feel more attracted to and skip to that pile.
Pile 1
nine of cups, four of wands (reversed), the magician (reversed).
Okay, but this pile is giving me really sweet vibes, your future self feels like a genuinely carrying person, and looks back at you as a mother figure would. They just want you to be happy and feel welcomed and the energy is overall very heartwarming. Quick thing I want to add before y'all actually read the letter, i don't know if some of you are fans of musicals, specifically of Hamilton, but while I was writing the letter, the melody of dear theodosia was playing in my head so yeah, it might be important for you to know.
"Right now you may feel like you don't fit in, that you lack support, and that you aren't enough. I know you feel insecure but believe when I tell you that you don't have to be scared about that, you are enough and you all the skills and abilities you need to be successful. The universe is working to bring blessings your way, but you have to put some work on it too. Use your intellect, concentration and willpower to make this wonderful things happen, you have the power to manifest the outcome you want. Leave the past behind and put your mind in anything you want to accomplish, I know all our wishes and dreams will become a reality soon enough, for now it's the time of time of happiness, joyfulness and fulfillment."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Pile 2
page of cups (reversed), strength (reversed), page of pentacles.
I actually had to redo this pile because I got busy with something important mid reading, and when I had time to continue I couldn't really connect to it again, so I pulled other three cards to do the reading again. The vibes then and the vibes in this new one, suggest that your future self know you are having hard times, and are probably dealing with some childhood related issues, but they want to tell you that things will get better. Also something tells me that they REALLY wanted you to get their message, since they sent both the bearer of messages and the bearer of good news.
"You're going through difficult times, and right now I want you to try to connect with your inner child by embracing the fun side of life. I've always loved how we are young at heart, even sometimes a little bit naïve, but lately you've been ignoring your inner emotions and listening too much to people that are bringing you and your self-esteem down. I bring you good news from the future, a future where all our goals are achieved, but that is only possible if you make the right decisions now and put the groundwork necessary. The future I'm from might seem too far away from were you are today, but time passes quickly and is unforgiving, so I want you to take my advise and keep it close to your heart. I know you can become a person who is both mature and young at heart, I've seen it and have been cheering for you through all that journey, because after all I'm you, and I've already done it."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Pile 3
the fool, strength (reversed), five of swords.
I feel like your future self is encouraging you to start something new, maybe something you always wanted to try but never really made time to give it a chance. They want you to focus on the positive and to stay away from people that don't support your dreams. Overall, I feel this is more of a warning of what's to come, in hopes it helps you to be more prepare to face it.
"You're going to enter a new chapter in your life, it may look like something difficult at first, but you need to tap into your inner strength and don't let your fears and anxiety paralyze you. This new chapter is full of exciting and thrilling adventures, you just have to trust your heart and make a leap of fate. If you are not careful, you might end up self-sabotaging and getting involved in a serious conflict, causing unnecessary stress. When the time is right, I need you to stand up for what you truly want and what you believe."
**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of your message.
You can find more of my PACs on my master list, and if you have any suggestions on future PACs you want to see me do, you can send me and ask.
Bye byeee ✨
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I made a lot of posts summing up my thoughts on the Sephirah/Patron Librarians when I finished LobCorp, and more when I was midway through LoR, but now that I'm all caught up on Project Moon lore, I thought I'd give my thoughts on EVERY Patron Librarian and Sinner.
This'll be a long one, so buckle up.
Angela - Holy shit. Where do I start. Ten thousand people have summed up Angela better than I ever could. She's just like me fr, she's one of the best-written characters, she's amazing in every way. Though to be fully honest... I don't like how some aspects of LoR's story surrounding her were written. But that is a LOOOOONG tangent that probably needs its whole own post.
Malkuth - I've said a lot of mean things about Malkuth. I've called her a "nothing character," I've said she's "just the tutorial Sephirah/Librarian," and I've generally seemed very neutral-to-negative on her. But overall... I do like her. Her need to be recognized for her abilities hits me close to home.
Yesod - Love him in LobCorp. Ruina made him into so much more of an insufferable asshole. I don't like him very much in Ruina.
Hod - Arguably the Sephirah/Patron I relate the most to. Her depression, her need to be seen as a "good person," and just... so much of her dialogue. It all resonates with me. And the way she moves past it all, and is still able to be kind... I love it. My heart.
Netzach - I'm not his biggest fan, not by a LONG shot, but I still love him to pieces. He's so chill.
Tiphereth - If Tiphereth has a million fans, I'm one of them. If Tiphereth has ten fans, I'm one of them. If Tiphereth has no fans, I'm no longer alive. And Enoch is fine ig, I wish he got more screentime though.
Chesed - He's cool. I feel generally lukewarm about him, like a lukewarm cup of coffee.
Gebura - I could go on a tangent about how hot Gebura is, and I won't lie that it is a reason I really like her, but... she's so strong. And courageous. And in a genuine way. She had to learn what courage really means. Her journey in LobCorp is one of the best-written parts of that entire game, almost on par with the ending to me. And the way she chats with Roland in LoR is just so interesting.
Binah - I could go on a tangent about how hot Binah is, and I won't lie that it is a reason I really like her, but... as I've said in the past, I love how she isn't just what she looks like on the surface. She has the ability to be cruel without a second thought, but she can be kind without a second thought as well. For all she seems like a high-and-mighty bastard who revels in keeping information from people and being smart and philosophical, under the surface she is totally not that, and it intrigues me to no end.
Hokma - Gonna be real... I really... REALLY don't like Hokma. Like, at all. I'm verging into "active disdain" territory with him. Which sucks, because I wanted so bad to like him. But I just can't. Sorry chat.
Roland - What is there to say about Roland? He's-- Roland. There's so much about Roland, and my thoughts are almost identical to the hundred other thoughts on his character you've probably read. So I'm not gonna waste your time with that. Just know I really like him.
Now it's time for the Sinners lol.
Yi Sang - He's fine. His story didn't really resonate with me in the way it did for a lot of others. Which is sad to me, but you know, you can't like every character ever. I respect him as a character.
Faust - She is, to me, the definition of mixed opinions. She's hot. She's an insufferable bastard. She seems to care more than she lets on. She's a smarmy know-it-all. She obviously has her own struggles. She presents an aura of I-don't-give-a-shit. She's nice to Dante more than she needs to be. She's on the side of the big company. I cannot ever decide on a solid opinion about Faust, because it changes basically every time they give her a speaking line.
Don Quixote - Dondon :3
Ryōshū - I love her a lot. She's probably not intended to be a funny character, but a lot of her moments are hilarious to me. I love her dynamic with Sinclair. She's pretty as hell. And badass. Most of her Identities are really cool, too. Out of every Canto left, Ryōshū's is the one I'm most excited for.
Meursault - I have no opinions on Meursault. He is perfectly adequate as a character, and my emotional attachment is minimal.
Hong Lu - Hong Lu is a weird one to me. I wanna like him, but he has so little time on screen and so few speaking lines that it's hard to really form an attachment. You can kinda project whatever you want onto him because he's so absent from the story. I need more time to form an opinion, as more Cantos come out.
Heathcliff - God I love Heathcliff. I had a lot of issues with Canto VI, but overall I loved it, and Heathcliff's story. His character development across the game. His relationship and dynamic with Ishmael. There's so much to talk about that, again, I cannot cover in what is supposed to be a short summary of my opinions on each major character.
Ishmael - OUGOGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHG <3<3<3<3<3
Rodion - I really like her, I just wish she was more fleshed out. Which will come in time, of course. Her source material is what really attached me to her (Crime and Punishment is a great book) and that's probably why I'm able to stay so loving of her despite her lack of much real character development throughout the story.
Sinclair - Where to start with Sinclair... I really love his story. And his personality. He ticks every box for what I like in a character. He's cute, too, which helps. They really went off with his Canto, and even though later Cantos have had higher production value and more cool moments, his still has a close place in my heart as the first time I realized Limbus might not just be "worse LoR."
Outis - Not really a fan. I kind of... find her insufferable. Even moreso than Faust. But I KNOW that the SECOND her Canto drops, my opinion will change. She's one of those characters where I can tell her Canto will either make me start to love and worship her, or despise her even more. My opinion is ready to change. I'm ready to love her. And when her Canto drops, I feel like that just may happen.
Gregor - He's fine. Like Meursault, I don't have too many thoughts. He kind of got his story done pretty early, and has been relegated to be a minor side character who provides occasional comic relief. But he serves the role well, and I like him overall.
Dante - Dante is arguably my favorite protagonist. I may like them more than Roland. Their failcringe vibe just captivates me.
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FICS FOR GAZA - WRITING REQUESTS FROM YOURS TRULY!
Howdy everyone! I've joined the writer's portion of the @ficsforgaza initiative to help encourage fundraising to vetted fundraisers to aid those in Gaza!
For more details and information about this initiative, please check out the blog's guide on participation as well as their FAQ.
Likewise, if you don't see something you want here, or you want to support others, make sure to check out the other writers taking requests!
* Edited May 21 to include the updated navigation link!
That said, this post will be a primer to how things work on my end :}
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WHAT YOU DO
Donate to any of the vetted fundraisers found on the blog, or the blogs they have reblogged information from, and send me an ask or DM with your request!
It is mandatory that you include proof of donation for this. Of course, I would never ask you to send personal/sensitive information, so please redact that when sharing! I will verify proofs where needed with the blog organizers.
edited: please also link to the fundraiser you donated to!
example: hey jay! i donated to the palestine childrens' relief fund and would like a fic featuring [character] and [character] with [prompt]. here's proof of my donation! [attached image]
I will abide by the blog's general amount per rate, meaning for every $1 you donate, I will write 100 words. My limit on this will be $20, or 2000 words. That's the average wc for most of my fics.
There will be NO anonymous requests! It's harder to verify things that way, so I want to keep this process as simple as possible to encourage donations and keep the process streamline for everyone. After all, this is about helping people :}
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WHAT I DO / MY PERSONAL GUIDELINES
Safe for work (SFW) content only! I don't feel comfortable writing smut for people.
YES: OC x OC, OC x Canon, Self-Ship or x Reader, Canon x Canon, Romantic, Platonic, Familial, pretty much any dynamic or theme goes!
NO: Proship content. I do not feel comfortable with that, and I do not endorse any of that kind of stuff.
FANDOMS:
Cyberpunk (Edgerunners & 2077)
Disco Elysium
Dragon Age
Faith: The Unholy Trinity
Fallout
Far Cry
Hitman (World of Assassination Trilogy)
Metal Gear
Outer Worlds
Rainbow Six Siege
Red Dead Redemption 2
Reflect Studios franchise (Welcome to the Game, Scrutinized, Dead Signal, etc)
Resident Evil
Skyrim
Splinter Cell (games only)
Full DNI / BYF criteria is on my neocities page (all basic; don't be a bigot or glorify harmful things like e.d.)
Examples of my written works can be found here, with fanfictions toward the bottom of the page!
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MISC. INFORMATION
I will try to publish requests as soon as possible! I've luckily got a decent bit of free time, but I am also chronically ill and have a life outside of Tumblr!
There is no real deadline with these things, as the main goal is (again) helping people and families in need. That should take precedence above all else.
Please don't feel pressured to donate! I know things are rough for everyone across the board when it comes to finances! If you happen to have the extra money and would like to contribute to this cause, then please do so!
This applies even to those who may not want something out of it. I've shared many fundraisers and resources, as have countless others, and there are proper channels to help people out <3
Reblogs are appreciated, and TYVM to the people hosting this and to all who have donated / will donate in the future
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Do u have any transfemme Jiang Cheng headcanons you’re willing to share 🥺 every time you bring it up it makes me unreasonably happy so I would love to hear more about it 🫶🫶
AHHHH no really major headcanons, it's just something I like to rotate in my mind a lot! transfemme jiang cheng is. so special to me. I guess I have a few thoughts
I think a big part of Jiang Cheng's relationship to gender comes from Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan being the models of masculinity and femininity growing up. Jiang Cheng already relates a Lot to Yu Ziyuan, and I think if JC is transfemme, it's a big deal to her that Yu Ziyuan wields so much power. She's an incredible cultivator, a fierce fighter, and generally is a force to be reckoned with. At the same time, she's still a woman living in a misogynistic society. YZY would probably make a better sect leader than JFM, but she's a woman and his wife, and therefore he gets the final say in things
This in turn I think affects Jiang Cheng's feelings about gender and being sect leader. Jiang Cheng has a tendency to prioritize sect concerns > personal desires, and I think in this situation, masculinity is seen as a tool. Even if she knows privately that she is a woman, she would not be public about it because she's already in a precarious position being such a young sect leader. She needs all the respect she can get when rebuilding the Jiang sect, so she stays in the closet by choice. She might eventually come out years and years later, once the Jiang sect is stable and she knows she's not going to get fucked over, but that's really not her first priority
I do think she tells her siblings, though. Jiang Yanli is probably the first person she tells, and she's endlessly supportive. Wei Wuxian is kind of clueless about this sort of thing (see: not realizing he liked men until he got resurrected into the body of a gay man) but he loves Jiang Cheng so he'd be supportive, especially if he learned when they were both still kids. Of course, this makes the tragedy of Jiang Cheng losing everyone even worse. After her siblings died, there was no one who knew who she really was. Thank god for resurrections, huh? fucking hell
in a modern au, I think being a woman would fix her. She would be able to come out without all the other bullshit to worry about, and I think it would be very healing for her. I've known a number of people to go on estrogen who said the effects were more emotional than physical, and I think HRT would be so good for her. I just need Jiang Cheng to be happy goddammit. has she not been through enough
that got long. I guess I had more thoughts than I expected lsdkjflksdjf I also have a snippet from a modern au wip that I don't know if I'll ever continue/finish, but I'll put it under a read more bc I find it funny. I think Wen Qing should crack Jiang Cheng's egg, as a treat <3
Wen Qing knew Jiang Cheng too well. It was something he both loved and hated. There were very few people outside his family that could see through his blustering and read him for who he was, and Wen Qing was one of them. Hell, she was better at it than his own brother.
She didn't hesitate to call him on it either. He wouldn't be forgetting the way she'd looked at him after he introduced her to his parents and told him this explains a lot about you. Rude. Correct, but rude.
Because she knew him so well, she knew the best times to drop these bombs on him. Exposing him when he was in the wrong mood might make his temper flare, or it might make him curl into an insecure ball. Neither were reactions he liked having around her.
Wen Qing knew the best time to drop revelations on him was when he was happy and as close to relaxed as he could get, which is of course why she apparently decided the best time to bring up this particular bombshell was when he was floating in postcoital bliss.
“I'm going to tell you something,” Wen Qing said, her ankle still hooked gently around his calf. “You can't freak out about it.”
Jiang Cheng paused in the middle of pressing lazy kisses to her temple, heart rate immediately spiking. “Now?” he said, incredulous and a little whiny.
“It's not a bad thing,” she reassured him, gently scratching his scalp. It relaxed him like a charm, though he was still suspicious. “Do you promise to listen?”
“Do I have much of a choice?” he asked, propping himself up on her chest. Her lips quirked in a smile as she looked down at him.
“I think you're a woman,” she said, direct and matter-of-fact.
Jiang Cheng jolted upright so hard he slammed his head into the headboard. Wen Qing frowned and sat up as he rolled off her. “You're going to give yourself a concussion,” she said, accusatory.
“You're insane!” Jiang Cheng said, attempting to sit upright without making his head swim. Wen Qing huffed and pushed him down with a firm hand to his chest. He could throw her off if he wanted to, but, well, he didn't want to. He rather liked it when she pushed him around and climbed on top of him like she was right now, pinning him in place and preventing him from running away from the conversation.
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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea
Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts
OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)
^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol
One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D
It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha
And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!
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Ngl I think it's so funny when people assume post op trans men are subpar of exclusively bottoms, i mean if the advancement of science were that great (the awkward part is...technically they could be...and are...sometimes but it's an extremely experimental thing but yea, it's technically possible to get taller but i wouldn't advice unless you really want it that bad (I could have had access to that kind of shit, but...a tes risques et périls, comme j'connais quelqu'un qui a tenté le coup pis...erm. ouin. Ça marche, mais comme t'as pu trop envie de marcher pour une secousse après (no joke, mais ça coute cher en criss pis c'pas moé qui réfère) , so yea...i do kinda thrive from being reduced to some "can't do anything bottom", because...it's always so validating when people assume people can't do things they can, ugh.
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HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!
thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.
he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.
he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.
but he couldn’t take everything lying down.
did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?
he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.
he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.
he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.
but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.
but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.
simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.
and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?
you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.
the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.
and all the signs pointed to you.
and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.
price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.
johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.
then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.
simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.
maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.
but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.
all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.
and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.
so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.
and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.
even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.
he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.
but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.
the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.
it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.
the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.
“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.
“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”
simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.
“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”
“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”
price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.
“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”
“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.
price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”
the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.
he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.
“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.
price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”
simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.
“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”
they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.
pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.
although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.
but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.
an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.
you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.
damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.
you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.
he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.
‘you should have killed me.’
maybe he should have.
thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—
im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!
as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)
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since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.
but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.
later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.
the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH
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for all i bang on about consumerism being bad i sure do like to purchase books, huh.
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sparks fly - charles leclerc
summary: everyone thinks y/n and lando are a couple, but when she begins to soft launch another driver, people start to catch on.
a/n: no face claim, the order and outcomes of races are fictional,
liked by charles_leclerc, lilyzneimer, and 39, 376 others
ynusername and it's all too much for little lando norris
francisca.cgomes Ahhh so gorgeous
ynusername kikaaa
user52763 y/n and lando karting maybe 🫣
user19822 I don't think that looks like lando tbh
landonorris Catching them z's 😴😴
liked by ynusername
user92738 my fave wag!
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 711, 029 others
quadrant Our new video 'Reaction Test' is out now!! Featuring special guest @ ynusername, who do you think wins?
ynusername thanks for having me guys!!
liked by quadrant
user82739 okay did anyone else see the way lando looked at y/n during the vid... like excuse me
user25382 YES LIKE CONFIRM UR RELATIONSHIP ALREADY
charles_leclerc I'll just assume that y/n lost
ynusername charles i've never felt more betrayed...
landonorris @ charles_leclerc Correct!
liked by ynusername, pierregasly, and 6, 227, 276 others
charles_leclerc New addition to our little family 🩷
landonorris Bet you're gonna start calling yourself a dad now
ynusernme oh he already has
ynusername baby leoooo
charles_leclerc Great name 😉
user52763 @ charles_leclerc what's the wink for huh??
user92837 ohmygod he's become a dad
user92736 wdym 'OUR little family'...
user28622 SOFT CHARLES CONTENT OMFG
maxverstappen1 Very cute Charles
liked by charles_leclerc
liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 48, 928 others
ynusername monaco is awesomeeeee! thanks for being my personal chauffeur @ arthur_leclerc when my bf is too busy 😇
arthur_leclerc Well I am the better driver
charles_leclerc No.
user82738 BOYFRIEND???
user15273 who lives in monaco... LANDOOOOO
user90192 Leo??? Why is y/n hanging out with his dog
ynusername beacause he's cute
user16372 not y/n hanging out with the leclerc brothers minus charles 😭
ynusername i spend too much time with charles
user52763 @ ynusername wdym by that??
liked by ynusername, lorenzotl, and 7, 811, 287 others
charles_leclerc Much needed family time before the big race 🩷
landonorris Ooooh Charles the romantic
user82736 WHO IS SHE LET US IN
ynusername leo is adorable
liked by charles_leclerc
user92831 oh i'm so ready for this gp
user18127 Y/N?
arthur_leclerc You're girlfriend is very pretty
charles_leclerc Stop.
user63762 Girlfriend, Charles???
liked by user82732, user98272, and 365 others
user98276 y/n l/n in the ferrari garage... are u thinking what i'm thinking
user52873 i'm actually so confused like I was convinced that y/n and lando were a thing but now charles likeeee
user82766 REAL
user62873 Idc I'll believe in y/n and lando forever.
user52983 so is this confirming her wag era
liked by luisinhaoliveira99, oscarpiastri, and 3, 627, 229 others
landonorris Onto qualifying 💪 Absolutely buzzing to have my girlfriend with me this week too 🥰
luisinhaoliveira99 🧡🤍
liked by landonorris
ynusername open ur eyes mate
luisinhaoliveira99 I specifically told him not to blink too!!
user92647 Yeah what the fuck is going on
user42873 I KNOW LIKE HUH
user52846 she's so beautiful
user83552 How long have you been together for?
landonorris Almost a year haha. She told me I could finally 'hard launch'
liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 56, 833 others
ynusername omg arthur's brother won in monaco!
charles_leclerc Arthur's brother, really?!
ynusername my bad, arthur and lorenzo's brother!
user67299 Yeah this had GOT to be a hard launch...
user72924 holding hands in a ferrari like come on
scuderiaferrari ❤️🏎️
liked by ynusername
luisinhaoliveira99 Our guys on the podium together 💞
user63849 OUR GUYS WHATWHATWHAT
liked by scuderiaferrari, ynusername, and 12, 782, 918 others
charles_leclerc Wow my feelings cannot be described right now. Thank you to everyone single person who has made this possible for me. It has been a dream of mine since I was a boy to win in Monaco, and to finally achieve it with all the people I love the most is such a pleasure. Thank you thank you thank you ❤️🤍
ynusername sosososo proud of u
charles_leclerc Thank you Y/N 💗
landonorris Congrats big brother
liked by charles_leclerc
user82374 Give him the title 'Prince of Monaco' already
user21938 awww charles and y/n on the last slide
user67245 My fav couple already
user72354 Charles is on fire this season 🔥🔥
liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 1, 238, 276 others
lando.jpg Good thing I bring a camera on night outs. Celebrating the big guy @ charles_leclerc's home win 🎉🥳🥂
user82287 HAHA FERNANDO
user52763 y/n and charles hehe
ynusername send the photos!!
lando.jpg Which one? The ones of u and Charles sucking face
user62537 @ lando.jpg oh thank u for outing them
user55283 they all love charles so much omf
user82631 LANDO JUST CONFIRMING CHARLES AND Y/N LIKE IT'S NOTHING???
view charles_leclerc's story
liked by arthur_leclerc, lilyzneimer, and 62, 336 others
ynusername happy birthday boyf!! i wish u loved me as much as you love leo 😔
landonorris BOYFRIEND???
ynusername you're acting as if u didn't introduce us and basically force us to date
user52973 @ ynusername okay lando u little matchmaker
arthur_leclerc It only took a year and a bit to be instagram official
user62536 A YEAR? AND A BIT? WHAT THE FUCK
user52839 this is too much wow i'm still recovering from finding out that lando's been in a long term relationship and now you
charles_leclerc I love you and Leo equally
ynusername no i'm getting replaced by a dog
liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 3, 265, 267 others
charles_leclerc The only way I want to spend my birthday, love you mon belle 🩵
ynusername i mean we still have some other activities to do 😏
arthur_leclerc Oh my god ew
maxverstappen1 Happy Birthday mate :)
liked by charles_leclerc
user82889 YES YES YES I LOVE CHARLES AND Y/N
user92893 this is the only couple i care about
landonorris Everyone say 'thank you lando'
ynusername thank 😒 you 😒
charles_leclerc I say thank you all the time.
let me know if you enjoyed this, i love seeing your comments and messages!! and as always, my inbox is open so feel free to drop a req!
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chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS
a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe
warnings: slight nsfw
(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys
Chuuya
he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh
it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!
however
hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them
so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?
yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing
bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK
grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room
chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them
he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment
won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh
insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3
Dazai
oh lord
so dazai really loves to mark you up
and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies
deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning
"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS
his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes
you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom
you try everything you can think of to cover them
first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark
then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none
whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression
he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️
"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god
u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck
you got lots of stares that day to say the least
Fyodor
surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with
he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean
however, he is also a very possessive man
^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them
which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today
you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work
now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone
"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀
PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt
u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"
u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him
his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary
his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers
"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered
neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓
taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo
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