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alastorss · 3 days

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AAAA ITS GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK!

I love your characterization of Alastor sm ❤️❤️❤️

Could I request reader dropping dead things (people/body parts, deer, etc.) at his door/radio tower? No note, just corpses. He’s gotta figure out who tf if dropping these for him.

a/n: thank you, it's so good to be back!! i really appreciate you and everyone for being so welcoming :')) <3

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"You've been doing what?!"

"I didn't think it was so bad... You're the one who wanted me to make friends!"

Charlie only gawks at you, tugging at the ends of her hair in stress. The Princess of Hell paces back and forth across the room, slowly piecing together why Alastor has been in such a foul mood lately.

"So you thought the best way to make friends with the Radio Demon was to leave dead bodies at his doorstep?"

"He loves dead bodies."

"Yeah, to eat them! Oh god, what kind of message have you been sending to him?" She babbles on, exasperated and flinging her hands around in a panic. "He must think you're threatening him or something!"

"Well..." you make some sort of constipated expression and Charlie stops dead in her tracks. "He might not know they've been from me."

"You've been leaving them anonymously?" The Princess squeaks, unsure of whether that makes it infinitely better or infinitely worse. "What was even the point then?"

"I get nervous!" You argue, flopping back on the couch and laying an arm over your eyes. "I was going to tell him eventually."

Alastor was a different breed of terrifying. He could silence a room just by breathing in it. The wailing souls in his broadcast were enough to command that sort of attention.

When Charlie had given you the task of making friends as a part of her "redemption project" you had assumed he was exempt from the list. He was, after all, fairly secluded despite his cheery demeanour. Very few had ever managed to become his companions.

However, your hopes of avoiding him had been flushed down the drain when you accidentally bumped into each other on the way out on your very first day.

He gave you a look over, scrutinizing you from head to toe until your cheeks burned. Then, demanded something very simple of you:

"Welcome! Please, do entertain me."

His first and, as of today, last words he ever spoke to you. Sure, your methods were a little unorthodox, but you had asked Husk for advice and Alastor's cannibalistic tendencies were as much as the bartender was willing to spill.

When you don't receive any response, you peel your arm away to peer at your friend. She makes another two laps around the coffee table before her face lights up.

"I've got it!"

"I don't like that look on your face—"

"Come on," she laughs, pulling you by the wrists. "You just have to be honest. And make sure he knows you're not trying to kill him!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" You ask nervously. "You just told me he's been in a worse mood than usual."

A sinister smile that could only belong to the daughter of the devil creeps its way across her lips.

Dread. All you feel is terrible dread.

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As much as Alastor enjoys a good meal, this is becoming excessive.

It must be the seventh or eighth body this week. And, as usual, there is no note. No indication of why there's a corpse or a deer head or a rabbit's foot at his door. He can't even sniff out any traces of a soul being here.

He hates charity.

Not even because he does not need it, but because the anonymity is making him think they're gifts of pity. That, or it's a threat on his life. Either way, he loathes the idea that someone is looking down on him.

The demon needs to get to the bottom of this soon. Paranoia is not common for him, but the anxious bubbling in his chest is unmistakable. Whoever keeps leaving the bodies at his door is meticulously clean when they kill. He would hate to be on the receiving end of the blade.

Just as he's about to dump the body in his swamp for later, there's a knock on his bedroom door. He hesitates.

No, he isn't afraid of whoever is on the other side of the door. However, if there were a fight, he would need to get his suit tailored again and he simply doesn't have the time for that today.

He takes slightly too long to decide whether or not the person on the other side of the wall is a threat, because soon enough his ears pick up the sound of retreating footsteps.

Alastor swings the doors open so fast that you yelp.

At first he's confused why you refuse to turn around to look at him. Lacking common manners—he'll have to bring that up to you later. Then, he's confused on why you've shown up to his door at all.

"May I help you, dear?"

A chill creeps down your spine. Charlie and her ideas... they would be the death of you. Preferably today. Right now.

"I didn't mean to disturb you!" You stammer, still not looking at him.

Alastor raises a brow before popping up behind you from the shadows. You squeak, clutching somehing to your chest and shielding it from his gaze. He does a loop around your body and you spin around to keep the item hidden. The Radio Demon narrows his eyes.

"Are you hiding something?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

You do another spin as he tries to get a peek of what's in your hands.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" He feigns offense. Again, another spin.

"Of course not!"

"You see, I very much don't enjoy being lied to. Last time I caught a scoundrel in my midst, I cracked them open like a—"

"Okay, okay!" You suddenly burst out. You turn so slow that Alastor feels himself holding his breath.

When he finally sees what you've been so insistent on hiding, he snickers. Impolitely, mind you.

"Don't laugh," you whine, squeezing the bouquet closer to your chest. Amongst the flowers are little pieces of death—fingers, eyes, ears.

Charlie had decided that one step back in your redemption by collecting body parts like this would result in three steps forward. She allowed it, just this once.

"Are these for me?" He purrs, leaning down until his face is in yours. You'd been warned before that Alastor had no concept of personal space, but you can't help the way it robs the air in your lungs.

"Please don't get the wrong idea," you strain in embarrassment. "I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. For leaving all those bodies here. I didn't mean for it to come across as insulting."

The demon blinks at you in stunned silence for a few moments before he cackles, standing back to let you breathe again. "Why, of course! No hard feelings, darling."

"Really?" You lighten up with a sigh of relief.

"Your little gifts have kept me on my toes," he assures. "Perhaps not my idea of entertainment, but the effort was there."

"I'm glad to hear that," you smile. "Charlie was worried you wouldn't accept my apology or want to be friends."

You seem to catch yourself, eyes going wide as you shake your head.

"N-Not that I'm assuming this means we can be friends!"

Alastor only laughs again, gentler this time. "No need to be so jumpy. I don't bite," he muses. "And tell the Princess she has nothing to worry about."

He takes the bouquet from you, hands lingering over yours for a fraction longer than he meant for them to.

"I would love to be your friend."

~

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#🍓 faye's thoughts <3 #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin x reader #alastor fic #alastor headcanons #alastor x you #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor fanfiction #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin

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blushstarot · 3 days

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PICK A CARD: a message from your future self

Pick whichever picture you feel more attracted to and skip to that pile.

Pile 1

nine of cups, four of wands (reversed), the magician (reversed).

Okay, but this pile is giving me really sweet vibes, your future self feels like a genuinely carrying person, and looks back at you as a mother figure would. They just want you to be happy and feel welcomed and the energy is overall very heartwarming. Quick thing I want to add before y'all actually read the letter, i don't know if some of you are fans of musicals, specifically of Hamilton, but while I was writing the letter, the melody of dear theodosia was playing in my head so yeah, it might be important for you to know.

"Right now you may feel like you don't fit in, that you lack support, and that you aren't enough. I know you feel insecure but believe when I tell you that you don't have to be scared about that, you are enough and you all the skills and abilities you need to be successful. The universe is working to bring blessings your way, but you have to put some work on it too. Use your intellect, concentration and willpower to make this wonderful things happen, you have the power to manifest the outcome you want. Leave the past behind and put your mind in anything you want to accomplish, I know all our wishes and dreams will become a reality soon enough, for now it's the time of time of happiness, joyfulness and fulfillment."

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 2

page of cups (reversed), strength (reversed), page of pentacles.

I actually had to redo this pile because I got busy with something important mid reading, and when I had time to continue I couldn't really connect to it again, so I pulled other three cards to do the reading again. The vibes then and the vibes in this new one, suggest that your future self know you are having hard times, and are probably dealing with some childhood related issues, but they want to tell you that things will get better. Also something tells me that they REALLY wanted you to get their message, since they sent both the bearer of messages and the bearer of good news.

"You're going through difficult times, and right now I want you to try to connect with your inner child by embracing the fun side of life. I've always loved how we are young at heart, even sometimes a little bit naïve, but lately you've been ignoring your inner emotions and listening too much to people that are bringing you and your self-esteem down. I bring you good news from the future, a future where all our goals are achieved, but that is only possible if you make the right decisions now and put the groundwork necessary. The future I'm from might seem too far away from were you are today, but time passes quickly and is unforgiving, so I want you to take my advise and keep it close to your heart. I know you can become a person who is both mature and young at heart, I've seen it and have been cheering for you through all that journey, because after all I'm you, and I've already done it."

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 3

the fool, strength (reversed), five of swords.

I feel like your future self is encouraging you to start something new, maybe something you always wanted to try but never really made time to give it a chance. They want you to focus on the positive and to stay away from people that don't support your dreams. Overall, I feel this is more of a warning of what's to come, in hopes it helps you to be more prepare to face it.

"You're going to enter a new chapter in your life, it may look like something difficult at first, but you need to tap into your inner strength and don't let your fears and anxiety paralyze you. This new chapter is full of exciting and thrilling adventures, you just have to trust your heart and make a leap of fate. If you are not careful, you might end up self-sabotaging and getting involved in a serious conflict, causing unnecessary stress. When the time is right, I need you to stand up for what you truly want and what you believe."

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of your message.

You can find more of my PACs on my master list, and if you have any suggestions on future PACs you want to see me do, you can send me and ask.

Bye byeee ✨

#pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #tarot community #free tarot #tarot cards #tarotblr #a message #blush'starot

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ratlesshonret · 3 days

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I made a lot of posts summing up my thoughts on the Sephirah/Patron Librarians when I finished LobCorp, and more when I was midway through LoR, but now that I'm all caught up on Project Moon lore, I thought I'd give my thoughts on EVERY Patron Librarian and Sinner.

This'll be a long one, so buckle up.

Angela - Holy shit. Where do I start. Ten thousand people have summed up Angela better than I ever could. She's just like me fr, she's one of the best-written characters, she's amazing in every way. Though to be fully honest... I don't like how some aspects of LoR's story surrounding her were written. But that is a LOOOOONG tangent that probably needs its whole own post.

Malkuth - I've said a lot of mean things about Malkuth. I've called her a "nothing character," I've said she's "just the tutorial Sephirah/Librarian," and I've generally seemed very neutral-to-negative on her. But overall... I do like her. Her need to be recognized for her abilities hits me close to home.

Yesod - Love him in LobCorp. Ruina made him into so much more of an insufferable asshole. I don't like him very much in Ruina.

Hod - Arguably the Sephirah/Patron I relate the most to. Her depression, her need to be seen as a "good person," and just... so much of her dialogue. It all resonates with me. And the way she moves past it all, and is still able to be kind... I love it. My heart.

Netzach - I'm not his biggest fan, not by a LONG shot, but I still love him to pieces. He's so chill.

Tiphereth - If Tiphereth has a million fans, I'm one of them. If Tiphereth has ten fans, I'm one of them. If Tiphereth has no fans, I'm no longer alive. And Enoch is fine ig, I wish he got more screentime though.

Chesed - He's cool. I feel generally lukewarm about him, like a lukewarm cup of coffee.

Gebura - I could go on a tangent about how hot Gebura is, and I won't lie that it is a reason I really like her, but... she's so strong. And courageous. And in a genuine way. She had to learn what courage really means. Her journey in LobCorp is one of the best-written parts of that entire game, almost on par with the ending to me. And the way she chats with Roland in LoR is just so interesting.

Binah - I could go on a tangent about how hot Binah is, and I won't lie that it is a reason I really like her, but... as I've said in the past, I love how she isn't just what she looks like on the surface. She has the ability to be cruel without a second thought, but she can be kind without a second thought as well. For all she seems like a high-and-mighty bastard who revels in keeping information from people and being smart and philosophical, under the surface she is totally not that, and it intrigues me to no end.

Hokma - Gonna be real... I really... REALLY don't like Hokma. Like, at all. I'm verging into "active disdain" territory with him. Which sucks, because I wanted so bad to like him. But I just can't. Sorry chat.

Roland - What is there to say about Roland? He's-- Roland. There's so much about Roland, and my thoughts are almost identical to the hundred other thoughts on his character you've probably read. So I'm not gonna waste your time with that. Just know I really like him.

Now it's time for the Sinners lol.

Yi Sang - He's fine. His story didn't really resonate with me in the way it did for a lot of others. Which is sad to me, but you know, you can't like every character ever. I respect him as a character.

Faust - She is, to me, the definition of mixed opinions. She's hot. She's an insufferable bastard. She seems to care more than she lets on. She's a smarmy know-it-all. She obviously has her own struggles. She presents an aura of I-don't-give-a-shit. She's nice to Dante more than she needs to be. She's on the side of the big company. I cannot ever decide on a solid opinion about Faust, because it changes basically every time they give her a speaking line.

Don Quixote - Dondon :3

Ryōshū - I love her a lot. She's probably not intended to be a funny character, but a lot of her moments are hilarious to me. I love her dynamic with Sinclair. She's pretty as hell. And badass. Most of her Identities are really cool, too. Out of every Canto left, Ryōshū's is the one I'm most excited for.

Meursault - I have no opinions on Meursault. He is perfectly adequate as a character, and my emotional attachment is minimal.

Hong Lu - Hong Lu is a weird one to me. I wanna like him, but he has so little time on screen and so few speaking lines that it's hard to really form an attachment. You can kinda project whatever you want onto him because he's so absent from the story. I need more time to form an opinion, as more Cantos come out.

Heathcliff - God I love Heathcliff. I had a lot of issues with Canto VI, but overall I loved it, and Heathcliff's story. His character development across the game. His relationship and dynamic with Ishmael. There's so much to talk about that, again, I cannot cover in what is supposed to be a short summary of my opinions on each major character.

Ishmael - OUGOGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHG <3<3<3<3<3

Rodion - I really like her, I just wish she was more fleshed out. Which will come in time, of course. Her source material is what really attached me to her (Crime and Punishment is a great book) and that's probably why I'm able to stay so loving of her despite her lack of much real character development throughout the story.

Sinclair - Where to start with Sinclair... I really love his story. And his personality. He ticks every box for what I like in a character. He's cute, too, which helps. They really went off with his Canto, and even though later Cantos have had higher production value and more cool moments, his still has a close place in my heart as the first time I realized Limbus might not just be "worse LoR."

Outis - Not really a fan. I kind of... find her insufferable. Even moreso than Faust. But I KNOW that the SECOND her Canto drops, my opinion will change. She's one of those characters where I can tell her Canto will either make me start to love and worship her, or despise her even more. My opinion is ready to change. I'm ready to love her. And when her Canto drops, I feel like that just may happen.

Gregor - He's fine. Like Meursault, I don't have too many thoughts. He kind of got his story done pretty early, and has been relegated to be a minor side character who provides occasional comic relief. But he serves the role well, and I like him overall.

Dante - Dante is arguably my favorite protagonist. I may like them more than Roland. Their failcringe vibe just captivates me.

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tacticalhimbo · 2 days

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FICS FOR GAZA - WRITING REQUESTS FROM YOURS TRULY!

Howdy everyone! I've joined the writer's portion of the @ficsforgaza initiative to help encourage fundraising to vetted fundraisers to aid those in Gaza!

For more details and information about this initiative, please check out the blog's guide on participation as well as their FAQ.

Likewise, if you don't see something you want here, or you want to support others, make sure to check out the other writers taking requests!

* Edited May 21 to include the updated navigation link!

That said, this post will be a primer to how things work on my end :}

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WHAT YOU DO

Donate to any of the vetted fundraisers found on the blog, or the blogs they have reblogged information from, and send me an ask or DM with your request!

It is mandatory that you include proof of donation for this. Of course, I would never ask you to send personal/sensitive information, so please redact that when sharing! I will verify proofs where needed with the blog organizers.

edited: please also link to the fundraiser you donated to!

example: hey jay! i donated to the palestine childrens' relief fund and would like a fic featuring [character] and [character] with [prompt]. here's proof of my donation! [attached image]

I will abide by the blog's general amount per rate, meaning for every $1 you donate, I will write 100 words. My limit on this will be $20, or 2000 words. That's the average wc for most of my fics.

There will be NO anonymous requests! It's harder to verify things that way, so I want to keep this process as simple as possible to encourage donations and keep the process streamline for everyone. After all, this is about helping people :}

═════════════════════ ◈ ═════════════════════

WHAT I DO / MY PERSONAL GUIDELINES

Safe for work (SFW) content only! I don't feel comfortable writing smut for people.

YES: OC x OC, OC x Canon, Self-Ship or x Reader, Canon x Canon, Romantic, Platonic, Familial, pretty much any dynamic or theme goes!

NO: Proship content. I do not feel comfortable with that, and I do not endorse any of that kind of stuff.

FANDOMS:

Cyberpunk (Edgerunners & 2077)

Disco Elysium

Dragon Age

Faith: The Unholy Trinity

Fallout

Far Cry

Hitman (World of Assassination Trilogy)

Metal Gear

Outer Worlds

Rainbow Six Siege

Red Dead Redemption 2

Reflect Studios franchise (Welcome to the Game, Scrutinized, Dead Signal, etc)

Resident Evil

Skyrim

Splinter Cell (games only)

Full DNI / BYF criteria is on my neocities page (all basic; don't be a bigot or glorify harmful things like e.d.)

Examples of my written works can be found here, with fanfictions toward the bottom of the page!

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MISC. INFORMATION

I will try to publish requests as soon as possible! I've luckily got a decent bit of free time, but I am also chronically ill and have a life outside of Tumblr!

There is no real deadline with these things, as the main goal is (again) helping people and families in need. That should take precedence above all else.

Please don't feel pressured to donate! I know things are rough for everyone across the board when it comes to finances! If you happen to have the extra money and would like to contribute to this cause, then please do so!

This applies even to those who may not want something out of it. I've shared many fundraisers and resources, as have countless others, and there are proper channels to help people out <3

Reblogs are appreciated, and TYVM to the people hosting this and to all who have donated / will donate in the future

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waitineedaname · 1 day

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Do u have any transfemme Jiang Cheng headcanons you’re willing to share 🥺 every time you bring it up it makes me unreasonably happy so I would love to hear more about it 🫶🫶

AHHHH no really major headcanons, it's just something I like to rotate in my mind a lot! transfemme jiang cheng is. so special to me. I guess I have a few thoughts

I think a big part of Jiang Cheng's relationship to gender comes from Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan being the models of masculinity and femininity growing up. Jiang Cheng already relates a Lot to Yu Ziyuan, and I think if JC is transfemme, it's a big deal to her that Yu Ziyuan wields so much power. She's an incredible cultivator, a fierce fighter, and generally is a force to be reckoned with. At the same time, she's still a woman living in a misogynistic society. YZY would probably make a better sect leader than JFM, but she's a woman and his wife, and therefore he gets the final say in things

This in turn I think affects Jiang Cheng's feelings about gender and being sect leader. Jiang Cheng has a tendency to prioritize sect concerns > personal desires, and I think in this situation, masculinity is seen as a tool. Even if she knows privately that she is a woman, she would not be public about it because she's already in a precarious position being such a young sect leader. She needs all the respect she can get when rebuilding the Jiang sect, so she stays in the closet by choice. She might eventually come out years and years later, once the Jiang sect is stable and she knows she's not going to get fucked over, but that's really not her first priority

I do think she tells her siblings, though. Jiang Yanli is probably the first person she tells, and she's endlessly supportive. Wei Wuxian is kind of clueless about this sort of thing (see: not realizing he liked men until he got resurrected into the body of a gay man) but he loves Jiang Cheng so he'd be supportive, especially if he learned when they were both still kids. Of course, this makes the tragedy of Jiang Cheng losing everyone even worse. After her siblings died, there was no one who knew who she really was. Thank god for resurrections, huh? fucking hell

in a modern au, I think being a woman would fix her. She would be able to come out without all the other bullshit to worry about, and I think it would be very healing for her. I've known a number of people to go on estrogen who said the effects were more emotional than physical, and I think HRT would be so good for her. I just need Jiang Cheng to be happy goddammit. has she not been through enough

that got long. I guess I had more thoughts than I expected lsdkjflksdjf I also have a snippet from a modern au wip that I don't know if I'll ever continue/finish, but I'll put it under a read more bc I find it funny. I think Wen Qing should crack Jiang Cheng's egg, as a treat <3

Wen Qing knew Jiang Cheng too well. It was something he both loved and hated. There were very few people outside his family that could see through his blustering and read him for who he was, and Wen Qing was one of them. Hell, she was better at it than his own brother.

She didn't hesitate to call him on it either. He wouldn't be forgetting the way she'd looked at him after he introduced her to his parents and told him this explains a lot about you. Rude. Correct, but rude.

Because she knew him so well, she knew the best times to drop these bombs on him. Exposing him when he was in the wrong mood might make his temper flare, or it might make him curl into an insecure ball. Neither were reactions he liked having around her.

Wen Qing knew the best time to drop revelations on him was when he was happy and as close to relaxed as he could get, which is of course why she apparently decided the best time to bring up this particular bombshell was when he was floating in postcoital bliss.

“I'm going to tell you something,” Wen Qing said, her ankle still hooked gently around his calf. “You can't freak out about it.”

Jiang Cheng paused in the middle of pressing lazy kisses to her temple, heart rate immediately spiking. “Now?” he said, incredulous and a little whiny.

“It's not a bad thing,” she reassured him, gently scratching his scalp. It relaxed him like a charm, though he was still suspicious. “Do you promise to listen?”

“Do I have much of a choice?” he asked, propping himself up on her chest. Her lips quirked in a smile as she looked down at him.

“I think you're a woman,” she said, direct and matter-of-fact.

Jiang Cheng jolted upright so hard he slammed his head into the headboard. Wen Qing frowned and sat up as he rolled off her. “You're going to give yourself a concussion,” she said, accusatory.

“You're insane!” Jiang Cheng said, attempting to sit upright without making his head swim. Wen Qing huffed and pushed him down with a firm hand to his chest. He could throw her off if he wanted to, but, well, he didn't want to. He rather liked it when she pushed him around and climbed on top of him like she was right now, pinning him in place and preventing him from running away from the conversation.

#asks #sandu zidian #mdzs #jiang cheng #my writing #sorry this post is so long I'm not normal about jiang cheng #DISCLAIMER ABOUT THE SNIPPET: cracking someone else's egg should always be done gently and with caution #it's better to let someone else figure it out themself and just be supportive the whole time #however. in this situation I think wen qing has thought long and hard about it #and decided jc is not going to figure this out without intervention #also this exchange just appeared in my head one night when I was trying to fall asleep so I had to write it #I really want to write more of it...... I just don't know how to approach jc's inner gender journey #especially since im not transfemme myself #i wanna do it right!#the temptation to trans jiang cheng's gender in my fake marriage au is. strong.#but maybe I should reserve that for much later along the timeline lol #anyway. grabbing jiang cheng in my jaws and shaking around like a dog with a chew toy

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justalittlebluetiefling · 2 years

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#i'm just venting don't mind me #but like #i don't ever HATE my job but today is one of those days where it's close #you know we're coming off a 3 day weekend #so today was already going to suck #and then it's like everything that can go wrong will go wrong #my boss literally sent me questions about SEVEN different tasks in the span of an hour #and she's never happy unless we immediately know the answers #and i've got 3 other people who need me for things #plus the newer guy whose training sucked because every system broke during the 2 weeks he was supposed to have his main training #who i had to be on the phone with for AN HOUR because he wants to know the micro level of things and i'm like #dude please learn the basics first and then we can go into more detail like this #i have 4 hours left in the day about about 8 more hour of work to do and i can only go one step at a time #today is one of those days where choosing not to be medicated feels arrogant #i was a responsible xanax taker anyway i don't know why i don't just talk to my doctor about it again #also it doesn't help that i stayed up until 2am last night playing horizon forbidden west #because i couldn't stop until i had answers #okay i've vented #i don't know if i feel better #but at least that's out #my boss and i are syncing at 2 and my current plan is to say:#'hey you know what i'm very overwhelmed right now but i will do my best to answer your questions'

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aethernightmare · 2 months

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#i'll be real i've been feeling some kind of way this week and needed this reminder.#the refusal by him to go to therapy is also a conscious choice.#the refusal to at least attempt to get sober is a conscious choice.#the refusal to still pin blame on you when you're not the addict and you didn't lie or cheat in the relationship is a choice.#the refusal to improve any area of their life (job - therapy - medication - better friends - an apology to those they hurt) is a choice.#so much of what i mourn is that my partner was genuinely a different person before the substance abuse.#i don't know who this current man is but it feels like a stranger who murdered my husband and stole his body.#because the man i loved might as well be dead. i don't even see glimmers of him anymore. not towards me or other people.#there's no comparison anywhere. not even in appearance.#i can't even know if he'd go back to the way he was if he got sober - because it was impossible to get him to quit more than 3 days.#if it wasn't alcohol it was weed. if it wasn't weed it was alcohol. often blended with days of not logging off mmos.#like none of these things in a vacuum are bad but his relationship to them at the expense of everyone and everything else was.#to this day he thinks i 'left him' when -in an inebriated rage - he told me to never talk to him again. so i haven't.#when he was the one who burned our bridges - so it's also his responsibility to improve and reach back out. even just as friends.#which he said he'd do - but never has.#he may not even remember some of the awful things he said and did to me at the end because he was always getting blackout intoxicated.#but as a result he thinks i was the one gaslighting Him when his memory was full of holes. because he thinks he's above being that affected #he probably thinks i'm manipulative for wanting him to get help and do these things.#but if he actually went to therapy (and was honest) or attend AA he'd see these are the professional steps - not ones i 'randomly made up'.#idk. some days are harder than others to deal with the absence and the silence and the trauma he left behind. today is one of the hard ones #a letter to my ex

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sysig · 9 months

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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea

Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts

OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)

^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol

One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D

It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha

And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!

#Long post #There have been others of course - things like BunBonBop and TMatM and quite a handful of original species lol #I was also involved in an IZRP that got very in depth which is where Bar comes from actually!#As well as my brief stint into being a TGWDLM askblog lol soz to everyone over there ouq #And little stories like Karera no Kotogara and Yanderapy but those mostly set in cartoon-reality y'know?#No magic or sci fi there haha #Man looking back through the OSG stuff kinda makes me wanna unstore Ch. 0 - I've grown a lot since then!#To the point where it almost doesn't feel ''mine'' anymore haha - it has been almost ten years! Maybe to celebrate its anniversary :)#Also yeah if you look hard enough I've been in love with and inspired by Vargas for as long as I've known about it haha #AGE was so much fun <3 I would like to get back to it someday but picking back up after so long is hard!#I still hold all of them fondly of course ♥ Mar especially since they were the tipping point for me loving spiders :D #It's hard to believe Just Desserts is already four years deep! It still feels so new to me haha #I know I big up Charm and her design a lot lol but for me it really is exactly what I want <3 It's my perfect :)#I still really want to get into 3D modeling to make her as I originally envisioned her!#If I had the funds I'd absolutely commission someone but tbh I don't know many names on that side of art haha #I've also heard about people who give advice/brainstorming sessions for magic systems and I've been intrigued ever since :0 #I'd love to sit down with someone and hash out Exactly how their magic works! It feels like it just needs a few more pushes!#Then again that's what I said about the TVAU outfits too haha ♪ Maybe it would all fall into place!#To the base question tho: I never know how to qualify ''implemented'' - does just putting it out there as a concept count?#Writing a story? Making a comic? A series? Polished? Completed?? Where's the line haha #I'm always so full of ideas but focusing on anything long enough to make it ''pretty'' is so hard for me still #I just keep creating never stopping haha

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enigma-absolute · 1 year

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Today marks 10 years since I first really stepped into the Eddsworld fandom and went through an event with it.

But it also happened to be first anniversary of its creator's passing. This year marks the 10th.

I figured 13 year old me wouldn't want to feel alone in that moment, so I made this to join her and go through the flow together.

Without Edd and Eddsworld, I don't think I would've had that accessible foundation, can-do mindset and enthusiastic influence, admiration and desire to animate and make stories of my own. I was a year too late when I first entered into the fandom and heard about it, but these past 10 years taught me it's never too late to make an impact and tell your tales - no matter how long they'll take.

Thank you Edd Gould. For everything.

#chris rambles #my creations #i sobbed a lot while making this and dealing with CSP crashing a few times during progress #long post #Edd Gould really did say to a friend that last set of green lines if you hit the readmore #it doesn't feel right to tag the fandom this time #EDIT: okay so i've got myself to cry a little more and put myself together #and boy howdy i understand now what it means when an emotional overload impedes your communication #(is annoyed at spelling+grammar mistakes in-comic and description but no i'm not gonna change it)#my god this fandom had both the best of times and worst of times - moreso fandom troubles than personal but still #fun fact: i got to meet a good bunch of the EWFM crew back in the day through the years and some are still good friends of mine #(this is when things were FINE and NOT WEIRD i'm talking early-mid 2010's here people)#some are moreso acquaintances and most just drifted away (that's fair!)#only one of them i know for a fact either one of us would take a bullet for the other (and if you're curious he was a lead role VA)#(won't say who for privacy but listen. A. if you're reading this: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I AM SO GLAD WE ARE FRIENDS)#yeah the friendship goes that deep and he makes me happy to say that I'm his friend #(he's also the only one of all the online friends i've mailed and penpaled to - who has sent stuff back. Nobody else but him.)#i need to chill now my goodness #there's so much ahead of me now bc of what my time in Eddsworld gave and I'm so so grateful <3

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jade-curtiss · 11 months

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Ngl I think it's so funny when people assume post op trans men are subpar of exclusively bottoms, i mean if the advancement of science were that great (the awkward part is...technically they could be...and are...sometimes but it's an extremely experimental thing but yea, it's technically possible to get taller but i wouldn't advice unless you really want it that bad (I could have had access to that kind of shit, but...a tes risques et périls, comme j'connais quelqu'un qui a tenté le coup pis...erm. ouin. Ça marche, mais comme t'as pu trop envie de marcher pour une secousse après (no joke, mais ça coute cher en criss pis c'pas moé qui réfère) , so yea...i do kinda thrive from being reduced to some "can't do anything bottom", because...it's always so validating when people assume people can't do things they can, ugh.

#the only thing is i hate it when the person i top is way taller and got no flexibility otherwise...#but some people ask #way #too #much #given their sature and the fact I'm rather small (in height 😠) and that's what it is #and will my fucking keyboard stop going back to Cyrillic and Gregorian it's fucking annoying here #enough with the earthbound spy alphabets (ngl i have no idea how the gregorian alphabet still exist other than for aesthetics)#i wish i was laying conspiracies but i know someone rather whole who went that town and hm #they off at the gym leaving me alone every single time anything important happens 😔#but yea im not telling anyone anything revolutionary #anyone who studied enough know what it could be refered #but also know #ok cool but the nail feeling in hour bones until you stop treatments?#and no i never touched that but witnessed the glories of good dispensaries on the black market and ngl it works but shit is so expensiiiive #and i dunno the level of control given how cutely homemade the stuff came in #no enabling here anyone feeling bad would feel worse for quiiiiiiite a while if they knew for something that requires a loan for most peopl #the lowest i've seen from my sources was around 19k (it was in another currency but translated yea around 19 not for the whole thing)#just around 200ml but you'll need it rather often so #imagine around 80k for just being taller of like...2-3 inches at most #stupid really #but what i bought worked with less side effect and a way more pleasant odor than the regular so i respect

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criminalamnesia · 3 months

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HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

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euniexenoblade · 3 months

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since we're talking about call outs lately, i've been called out many times, most of which are made from lies and sometimes by altering screenshots, but the most effective call out i ever got was like, in early 2015 there was a tumblr user everyone knew was a terf, but she would say "actually i support trans women" this was before crypto terfs were as talked about so the language wasn't really there to say "hey this person is a crypto terf." but yeah some people put posts of this woman on my dash and i made a random post on my blog "why do yall reblog her shes a terf" and of course she searches her own name daily, found my post, and replied to it that me calling her a terf was racist. that was it. no other interaction. but she went on all night talking about me being racist and just making things up as she went "oh i bet she says the n word all the time irl" kind of shit that had, like no basis? But her follower base took it 100% and i literally had thousands of anons telling me to kill myself, trying to goad me into being racist (didnt work), and the most concerning thing was i got hundreds of anons being like "what was the point of doing hrt if you still look like that, you should kill yourself." It was like, violent and overwhelming. and on top of it I'd get random young teenager trans people who followed her and bought into her bioessentialism showing up in my messages being like "you give trans people a bad name" "you're why transphobia exists" etc etc it was fucking crazy.

but i lost like, no followers because everyone around me understood, this woman was a terf. this all set up the real one though.

later in the year a teenage "communist" trans girl made some snarky comment about me being racist on a post of mine blowing up. i ignored her cuz like, who cares it's just some random teenager. but i guess people were looking for a reason to hate me cuz that blew up, lots of people just took that at face value no need to investigate. when someone finally did send the girl an ask being like "hey how is she racist" she replied "I dont remember but I know she is" and even more people just took this as 100%. the thing is, i do remember her being one of those "you make trans people look bad" terf following young trans people, it's not that she didn't remember, it's that she didnt want to admit she followed a terf and she believed a terf just saying shit. I lost like 3/4s of my followers, i had a lot of people i thought were my friends just stop talking to me, and going forward every time i got a call out there would usually be a line of like "also she's racist, everyone already knows this" all cuz this girl needed to make a snarky comment cuz she just loves terfs.

the thing about the "i dont remember" bit is it made some weird game of telephone. "I dont remember" became "oh she's racist, i think she says the n word" which became "she called black bloggers the n word" like people just made shit up about me and connected it to this call out. and when id be like this isnt true id be met with a "this is just known, youre a known racist" and it's like, to this day i will still find people be like "hey good on you for growing as a person and not doing that any more" and its like I NEVER DID IT TO BEGIN WITH

#ranting

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apocalypticdemon · 1 year

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for all i bang on about consumerism being bad i sure do like to purchase books, huh.

#i have bought. several. lately.#in my defense several of these are books that i have already read and really quite enjoyed or books from a series that i've been enjoying #like i got all the books from the wayward children series even though i've only read 3 or 4 of the 6 or so that are out #and part of me feels guilty about that bc i have also bought several books that i have not read #i'm trying to buy them at a discount so i'm not wasting a ton of money #some of the other ones i've got are long nonfiction or political texts that i know i'll never get through #in the span of a library loan #or that i want to annotate/mark as i read so i ensure that i grasp important sections #but like i do now have A Lot of books and i just got more today bc my self control is waning #and bc i'm going to school again soon and will be living on a dramtically reduced budget #but on the other hand i really feel like i should be buying stuff i need for living at school now #like not getting stuff i want but instead investing in like. stuff i can use for at-home workouts while at school #or a new pair of tennis or climbing shoes. etc etc.#so there's this weird guilt on top of the Wanting Of Things that i'm not really enjoying #idk i do feel like i'm leaning into some weird consumerist thing that i've def criticized online book people for doing #whether or not that's rational i'm not sure #bc what rubs me the wrong way is people who buy stuff and literally have no idea what it's about #and that seems a lil irresponsible and i have things to say about it #i'm sorry this is getting so rambly and off topic i'm just having a lot of thoughts about guilt and spending #and getting things i want vs rationing myself to only things i truly need #bc i lived for a while on the latter and only got stuff i Needed #instead of ever indulging myself with things that i wanted aside from like sweet snacks

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taasgirl · 25 days

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sparks fly - charles leclerc

summary: everyone thinks y/n and lando are a couple, but when she begins to soft launch another driver, people start to catch on.

a/n: no face claim, the order and outcomes of races are fictional,

liked by charles_leclerc, lilyzneimer, and 39, 376 others ynusername and it's all too much for little lando norris

francisca.cgomes Ahhh so gorgeous

ynusername kikaaa

user52763 y/n and lando karting maybe 🫣

user19822 I don't think that looks like lando tbh

landonorris Catching them z's 😴😴 liked by ynusername

user92738 my fave wag!

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 711, 029 others quadrant Our new video 'Reaction Test' is out now!! Featuring special guest @ ynusername, who do you think wins?

ynusername thanks for having me guys!! liked by quadrant

user82739 okay did anyone else see the way lando looked at y/n during the vid... like excuse me

user25382 YES LIKE CONFIRM UR RELATIONSHIP ALREADY

charles_leclerc I'll just assume that y/n lost

ynusername charles i've never felt more betrayed... landonorris @ charles_leclerc Correct!

liked by ynusername, pierregasly, and 6, 227, 276 others charles_leclerc New addition to our little family 🩷

landonorris Bet you're gonna start calling yourself a dad now

ynusernme oh he already has

ynusername baby leoooo

charles_leclerc Great name 😉 user52763 @ charles_leclerc what's the wink for huh??

user92837 ohmygod he's become a dad

user92736 wdym 'OUR little family'...

user28622 SOFT CHARLES CONTENT OMFG

maxverstappen1 Very cute Charles liked by charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 48, 928 others ynusername monaco is awesomeeeee! thanks for being my personal chauffeur @ arthur_leclerc when my bf is too busy 😇

arthur_leclerc Well I am the better driver

charles_leclerc No.

user82738 BOYFRIEND???

user15273 who lives in monaco... LANDOOOOO

user90192 Leo??? Why is y/n hanging out with his dog

ynusername beacause he's cute

user16372 not y/n hanging out with the leclerc brothers minus charles 😭

ynusername i spend too much time with charles user52763 @ ynusername wdym by that??

liked by ynusername, lorenzotl, and 7, 811, 287 others charles_leclerc Much needed family time before the big race 🩷

landonorris Ooooh Charles the romantic

user82736 WHO IS SHE LET US IN

ynusername leo is adorable liked by charles_leclerc

user92831 oh i'm so ready for this gp

user18127 Y/N?

arthur_leclerc You're girlfriend is very pretty

charles_leclerc Stop. user63762 Girlfriend, Charles???

liked by user82732, user98272, and 365 others user98276 y/n l/n in the ferrari garage... are u thinking what i'm thinking

user52873 i'm actually so confused like I was convinced that y/n and lando were a thing but now charles likeeee

user82766 REAL

user62873 Idc I'll believe in y/n and lando forever.

user52983 so is this confirming her wag era

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, oscarpiastri, and 3, 627, 229 others landonorris Onto qualifying 💪 Absolutely buzzing to have my girlfriend with me this week too 🥰

luisinhaoliveira99 🧡🤍 liked by landonorris

ynusername open ur eyes mate

luisinhaoliveira99 I specifically told him not to blink too!!

user92647 Yeah what the fuck is going on

user42873 I KNOW LIKE HUH

user52846 she's so beautiful

user83552 How long have you been together for?

landonorris Almost a year haha. She told me I could finally 'hard launch'

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 56, 833 others ynusername omg arthur's brother won in monaco!

charles_leclerc Arthur's brother, really?!

ynusername my bad, arthur and lorenzo's brother!

user67299 Yeah this had GOT to be a hard launch...

user72924 holding hands in a ferrari like come on

scuderiaferrari ❤️🏎️ liked by ynusername

luisinhaoliveira99 Our guys on the podium together 💞

user63849 OUR GUYS WHATWHATWHAT

liked by scuderiaferrari, ynusername, and 12, 782, 918 others charles_leclerc Wow my feelings cannot be described right now. Thank you to everyone single person who has made this possible for me. It has been a dream of mine since I was a boy to win in Monaco, and to finally achieve it with all the people I love the most is such a pleasure. Thank you thank you thank you ❤️🤍

ynusername sosososo proud of u

charles_leclerc Thank you Y/N 💗

landonorris Congrats big brother liked by charles_leclerc

user82374 Give him the title 'Prince of Monaco' already

user21938 awww charles and y/n on the last slide

user67245 My fav couple already

user72354 Charles is on fire this season 🔥🔥

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 1, 238, 276 others lando.jpg Good thing I bring a camera on night outs. Celebrating the big guy @ charles_leclerc's home win 🎉🥳🥂

user82287 HAHA FERNANDO

user52763 y/n and charles hehe

ynusername send the photos!!

lando.jpg Which one? The ones of u and Charles sucking face user62537 @ lando.jpg oh thank u for outing them

user55283 they all love charles so much omf

user82631 LANDO JUST CONFIRMING CHARLES AND Y/N LIKE IT'S NOTHING???

view charles_leclerc's story

liked by arthur_leclerc, lilyzneimer, and 62, 336 others ynusername happy birthday boyf!! i wish u loved me as much as you love leo 😔

landonorris BOYFRIEND???

ynusername you're acting as if u didn't introduce us and basically force us to date user52973 @ ynusername okay lando u little matchmaker

arthur_leclerc It only took a year and a bit to be instagram official

user62536 A YEAR? AND A BIT? WHAT THE FUCK

user52839 this is too much wow i'm still recovering from finding out that lando's been in a long term relationship and now you

charles_leclerc I love you and Leo equally

ynusername no i'm getting replaced by a dog

liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 3, 265, 267 others charles_leclerc The only way I want to spend my birthday, love you mon belle 🩵

ynusername i mean we still have some other activities to do 😏

arthur_leclerc Oh my god ew

maxverstappen1 Happy Birthday mate :) liked by charles_leclerc

user82889 YES YES YES I LOVE CHARLES AND Y/N

user92893 this is the only couple i care about

landonorris Everyone say 'thank you lando'

ynusername thank 😒 you 😒 charles_leclerc I say thank you all the time.

let me know if you enjoyed this, i love seeing your comments and messages!! and as always, my inbox is open so feel free to drop a req!

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katyobsesses · 1 year

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#i just need something to go fucking easy in my life #i just want to be able to get the thing i want without it falling through at the last fucking minute #or to go nowhere #or for it to be gone when i finally get the courage to go searching for it #jobs - a fucking advent calendar - a coat - plans to see friends - plans in general - a new phone #all i wanted today was to buy a new phone because mine is basically on it's death bed #i've spent the last 3 days searching and researching in my downtime because i know i'm getting money from my Opa at some point #and i /need a phone/#and just when i'm like “someone tell me to buy this because i need idk permission? someone to cheer me on and tell me this is the idea?”#my sister's partner says something about how they don't want me to get the dame type of phone they just got #and now i can't get it without feeling guilty as fuck #even though i love their phone a lot?? and have been looking at their's and my sister's and my mums to try and choose a new one #and even increased my budget to get their one because i liked it so much and like to try before i buy for things because *anxiety*#but nope they get defensive (not in a mean way) and my anxious autistic arse gets overwhelmed and disapointed and idek #and i have a breakdown and cry for idk how many hours #hell i'm STILL crying about it - and other things my brain decided to throw at me when it realised i was crying already #but like I am trying so hard to just stop the tears. i'm ignoreing them. it's just tears no sobbing nothing drmatic #but i can't fucking stop and i fucking hate it and i've tried fucking everything and the onlythink than has helped #is ranting like this. not even talking to my sisteror calming breaths. because here i can be honest and not care that people are seeing it #becaues you guys don't know who i am you can't try and fix it for me (my sister and mum's immediate reaction). i can just rant #and you can listen if you want. no obligation. im not a burden you can't see my face or hear my voice #but yeah idk im tired and dehydrated and sad and overwhelmed and dissapointed nad angry and frustrated and *sad*#katy liveblogs life 2022

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allisonlol · 10 months

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chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS

a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe

warnings: slight nsfw

(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys

Chuuya

he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh

it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!

however

hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them

so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?

yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing

bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK

grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room

chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them

he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment

won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh

insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3

Dazai

oh lord

so dazai really loves to mark you up

and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies

deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning

"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS

his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes

you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom

you try everything you can think of to cover them

first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark

then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none

whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression

he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️

"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god

u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck

you got lots of stares that day to say the least

Fyodor

surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with

he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean

however, he is also a very possessive man

^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them

which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today

you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work

now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone

"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀

PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt

u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"

u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him

his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary

his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers

"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered

neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo

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