#and if there's a new album released next year maybe i'll add to this like i added withdrawn traces to the book review post

[hotasfahrenheit]

So you wanna get into NCT eh?

Let's do this.

NCT - Neo Culture Technology - is naturally an intimidating group to get into - there's twenty members but there have been members added and people have left and there's another group set to debut and there's subgroups and everything seems all over the place all the time, but if you're willing to jump into it all it's so absolutely incredibly worth it and less complicated than it seems at first! Let me walk you through some basics- I'll do more posts to get deeper into each group later, but this will be a primer for getting you started.

Where to start? NCT officially debuted in April 2016 with fifteen members after promoting for a while as trainees and with other trainees (including future members of Red Velvet) under the SM Rookies banner. Part of the original plan for NCT as announced at their debut was to continuously add members with no end in sight, and to expand into a group with members from all over the world who could promote in different areas at the same time. This... didn't really come to fruition ultimately, tho they do have members from seven(ish) countries. (Taiwan is a free country y'all, that makes seven. Macau is a "special administrative region of China", that's the ish.) There will be one more unit added to NCT soon, the final new set of members, but this post is going to proceed with only the current groups and subunits since The Babies (as I like to call them) aren't officially debuted yet and I don't feel like explaining them here since this is already going to be long enough. Either way, NCT's unlimited expansion has officially ended which hopefully removes that bit of intimidation.

Now on to some music!

The first song and MV that NCT released was under the broad NCT U umbrella, and started with The 7th Sense. (Wait what the heck is NCT U, you ask? I'll get there, trust me, keep reading)

The 7th Sense unit was comprised of Taeyong, Mark, Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Ten, five of the fifteen debut members.

The next day, NCT U released Without You, sung by Doyoung, Taeil, and Jaehyun, so two boys we saw already plus a new one.

The full list of members (that I and no one else expects you to remember at this point) at debut were Taeil, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, Ten, Doyoung, Jaehyun, Winwin, Mark, Haechan, Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung.

Since debut, members have been added, growing NCT to 23, and then a few left, dropping it back to 20. In 2018, Kun, Jungwoo and Lucas were added; in 2019, Xiaojun, Hendery, and Yangyang were added; in 2020, Shotaro and Sungchan were added. In 2023, Lucas was removed after being on hiatus for almost two years because of a scandal, and then Shotaro and Sungchan were pulled from NCT and re-debuted in SM's new boy group, RIIZE. (No, we're not going to get into my opinions or emotions about any of this right now, yes, I have a lot of opinions about both things and a lot of emotions about SungTaro. Maybe in a different post if people really wanna know.)

So what do I mean when I call NCT U an umbrella? Is that what the U stands for? No, not really, tho it's a handy way to think of things! U stands for United (or Unlimited, depending on who you ask) and is a flexible title that allows them to release songs using any members of the whole group. This lets them pick from a pool of currently 20 different members with different skills to best fit the concept of a song, and has allowed them to do things like release songs with multiple lead vocalists, songs with a collection of rappers, etc. It's super flexible- some U songs have only two members performing, some have nine, etc. (Once you become familiar with all of the members, the U songs become a lot of fun when it comes to seeing who gets mixed and matched for projects!)

Overall, don't worry too much about NCT U yet. Having the basic knowledge that it could be anyone is really enough to get you going and you can come back to all of the NCT U releases later. NCT has released four albums now as a full group (Empathy, Resonance, Universe, and Golden Age) that have both fixed subunit songs and NCT U songs with mixed members so there's a bunch of fun with all that later once you've gotten more of the basics down.

The key to getting into NCT is splitting it into the sub-units, of which there are currently four, including U.

NCT U - flexible subunit of varying combined members

NCT 127 - 9 member fixed unit, concept being that they're focused on Seoul (127 is the longitude of Seoul)

NCT Dream - 7 member fixed unit, original concept involving the fact that they were the seven youngest members at debut

WayV - 6 member fixed unit, releasing music primarily in Mandarin with a focus on promotion in China

The easiest thing to do if you want to take on learning all 20 members (plus the 3 former members which are at least in past MVs and content so you'll come across them either way) is to pick one of the three fixed units (NCT 127, NCT Dream, or WayV) and learn the members of that group before moving on to the next. NCT 127 and NCT Dream also share two members, which gives you a little leg up when you get to going from one to the other!

I'll make posts getting into each group more in depth soon to talk about members and with my fave songs and recommendations etc, so for each of the fixed units, I'll put in here their debut plus a recent song so you can get a grasp of how each group has grown and changed.

NCT 127 was the first of the subunits to debut, releasing Firetruck in July 2016.

127 debuted with Taeil, Taeyong, Yuta, Jaehyun, Winwin, Mark and Haechan. The fashion and hair in this MV is uhhhhhh wild? Yeah we'll go with wild.

127 has gone through some lineup changes over the years as they've changed and grown- they added Johnny, Doyoung, and Jungwoo, and then Winwin went on indefinite 127-hiatus when he joined WayV in 2019.

Their most recent release was in October of this year and is so good that it managed to make it into my top 5 songs of this year on Spotify in slightly over a month so uhhhhh yeah here's Fact Check-

NCT 127 is known for having music that's a little more experimental and sometimes just straight up weird, so you'll see a lot of mixed opinions of them on the internet (I've seen people calling some/all of their songs just noise music) but they're ultimately like most kpop groups and have released stuff in all kinds of styles with different mixed influences, so it's worth listening to at least a few things before forming any kinds of opinions about their music if you don't like the first song or two you hear. I mean. It's worth it EXTRA if you do like thier music obviously. Anyway.

Next up!

NCT Dream debuted not long after NCT 127 in August 2016 as a bunch of ACTUAL BABIES, aged between 14-17 at debut. Yeah that's right, Chenle and Jisung were both 14. They debuted with the now iconic Chewing Gum, that involves some wild hoverboard choreography that isn't shown as much in the MV but was probably more dangerous than a bunch of kids should have been doing on stages all the time (especially one time outdoors in the rain???), but they all survived so I guess it's fine?

WHAT A BUNCH OF ADORABLE BABIES.

NCT Dream debuted with Mark, Haechan, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung. Yes, Mark and Haechan are also in the NCT 127 list! They are workaholics who can't stop won't stop basically. (Yes, we also all worry about their health. It's A Thing.)

The original concept behind Dream was that it would be the youngest members of NCT, and when members grew old enough they would graduate out, and new younger members of NCT would be added in turn as members were added to NCT. The only element of this that was ever put into practice was graduating out Mark in December 2018 as he was the eldest member; no new members were added however, and eventually the whole plan was scrapped and Mark was re-added to Dream in 2020 (back where he BELONGS) and Dream officially became a fixed unit like 127 and WayV.

The boys are now between the ages of 21-24, and their music has grown a lot as they've grown out of their cute concepts and into more mature looks and sounds. Their most recent release was in July of this year, ISTJ.

They're still known for having a more youthful, optimistic vibe, and there's something incredibly uplifting and exuberant about them in general at basically all times. These boys have been together for half of their lives at this point and really grown up together and- yeah I have a lot of emotions about Dream that I'll save for later.

Moving on!

WayV time! WayV officially debuted in 2019 with the Mandarin version of Regular.

(NCT 127 released both Korean and English versions of Regular as well, and they are the last NCT 127 MVs that feature Winwin before he became 127-inactive and became fully active with WayV instead.)

WayV debuted with Winwin, Kun, Ten, Xiaojun, Hendery, Yangyang, and Lucas. Lucas has since been removed from NCT and WayV and the other six members have continued to promote as a six member group.

WayV has hit some snags, especially with things out of their control like the pandemic- they live in Seoul when they're not promoting or touring, and travel into and out of China has been difficult for obvious reasons for the past few years, which has made it harder for them to be pushing into the Chinese music industry when they haven't been able to travel in China as freely as they could have under other circumstances and couldn't do things like concerts or fanmeets. They have started touring and promoting more heavily in Southeast Asia more recently, and some of the members like Winwin and Ten have spent time in China over the past few years working on things like acting in dramas, participating in variety shows, or judging on Chinese dance competition shows as well. Xiaojun is also currently a host on one of the the Korean weekly music shows, SBS's The Show.

WayV's most recent comeback was actually last month but I'm gonna use their comeback from the VERY end of last year (Dec 28) in this post because I'm still obsessed with this song-

WayV mix a lot of different elements into their music and are the most multilingual of the groups- since they're based in Seoul, they've often performed on the weekly Korean music shows with English versions of their songs, and they have the NCT member who speaks the most languages in Ten, who is Thai, and speaks Thai, Mandarin, Korean, English, and Japanese, as well as multiple members who speak four (Hendery and Xiaojun both speak Cantonese, Mandarin, Korean, and English; Yangyang speaks Mandarin, English, Korean and German). They also have Kun, who is both a licensed airplane pilot and licensed sky diver (who promoted Phantom by skydiving with a banner for it) as well as being a music producer AND the only member of NCT to have a university degree. Basically WayV is a bunch of overachievers who deserve the whole world.

So..... that's all the subunits! I hope this breakdown gave you a place to start with. Feel free to use this as a base to go look up more information about each subunit, or watch the videos I included here and the ones I linked throughout in the text in various places to get started. I will also make some more posts about each subunit to get into more about the members and more songs by each so you can hang out and wait for those too!

Related things to come from this? More NCT posts, possibly more kpop posts in general like this? I've talked to a few people about how to get into NCT in basics, and this post is dedicated to @catatonicrainbow most specifically as being the most recent internet pal to want to get into NCT and being the one who finally got me to make some kind of thing like this. Meanwhile, @poetry-protest-pornography and I have been discussing starting a kpop podcast where I teach her about different groups as my knowledge is vast and deep and has been accumulating in my brain since around 2008 and she's MUCH newer to kpop than me, and I often infodump at her already about various groups. So like. Now that we're both talking about that publicly I guess we really gotta do it. Maybe I'll make companion posts on here to go with the podcast? Or something. We'll see. But there will be more of this stuff coming! So hopefully if you've read this far and enjoyed this content, you'll be excited for more? Whee!

Also like yes obviously I know other people have probably made these kinds of posts and there's videos and podcasts and etc out about this kind of stuff already, but I figure since everyone processes information differently, having multiple sources for this kind of information and different ways it's presented will probably be helpful to SOMEONE so I'm gonna make the content I feel like making either way. :) Cheers!

[So you wanna get into NCT eh? 1 | 2 | 3]

#so you wanna get into nct eh #nct basics #how to get into nct #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct info posts #mia talks about kpop things

[tompettyofficial]

Caspian will you please infodump about Tom Petty to me? I'm new to Tomblr and I want to know more about him :)

GLADLY thank you so much for asking this made my day lmao

So I don't know quite how much you know about him already so I'll go with the like complete beginner biography thing if thats alright. So...long post incoming

Okay! The day it all began! His career as a "horse-cowboy" (quote @marrcartney 2022) began October 20th 1950 right. He's from Gainesville, Florida, had a dad (Earl, Tom's middle name as well) who was an abusive alcoholic, his mom Kitty who was very dear to him, and a younger brother Bruce. So yk the typical rockstar story, he wasn't very good in school or at least he didn't like it very much and he ended up dropping out at 17 I believe -- at which point he was in Mudcrutch and that became his thing. He learned guitar at least partly from Don Felder (of the Eagles). Interestingly enough, Tom Leadon was in Mudcrutch and he was the brother of Bernie Leadon who was also an Eagle. So he's got Mudcrutch right and there's all these people doing their thing (it's talked about in "Petty: the Biography" by Warren Zanes if you're interested) and I don't remember much because I'm terrible with names but I do know that at least a few guys thought Tom's voice was weird and at one point he was playing bass and singing lead at the same time which was neat. Oh also he played bass with Mudcrutch primarilly I believe. Ok so Mudcrutch right, and in Mudcrutch are Mike Campbell (lead guitar, neat story how they met but thats for another time) and Benmont Tench will stay with Tom past Mudcrutch. So in 1974, Mudcrutch decides its time to move forward from Gainesville, so they drive out in one of the member's (mom's??) van (Tom was not allowed to drive...another story...okay a few) and they go alllllll the way to L.A. where Tom ends up staying (Tom's oldest daughter Adria is born this year as well). So they're in L.A., they're young, they did well in Gainesville and they're ready to keep moving right. They put out their single "Depot Street" (good listen!)...and it fails. The band, well, disbands and you might think the story ends there but, to nobody's dismay!, it does not. Tom seemed to show promise, and he get's signed. He starts out making a record solo but quickly realizes he much prefers having a band. Enter: the Heartbreakers. With a bit of time, the Guys we know and love appear on the scene. Mike and Ben were there already, but now we add Stan Lynch on drums and Ron Blair on bass. And so in 1976 they put out their first record "Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers." It didn't do too well for I think it was a good 8 months, but somebody whose name escapes me found them and liked them enough to do some record company magic and get those boys on the radio right. Now they're off to the races! In '78 you get "You're Gonna Get It!," in '79 the legendary "Damn the Torpedoes," and in '81 "Hard Promises" (with the help of Stevie Nicks, a soon-to-be lifelong friend of Tom's...though they didn't start out quite on the best of terms). Now, between "Hard Promises" and 1982's release "Long After Dark" (arguably Tom's most underrated album), Ron Blair leaves the band and Howie Epstein joins in his place. Also in '82 is the birth of Tom's next kid AnnaKim. So this is the lineup for the band up until I think 2003 when Howie passed and Ron came back to fill in. I could go on about all his albums probably, but for now I'll try to keep this maybe a bit shorter than it would be otherwise lol. So fast forward to '88, Tom gets with Harrison, Dylan, Orbison, and Lynne to form the Traveling Wilburys and they put out 2 albums (one in '88 and the next in '90 after Roy's death). In '94, Tom had a rough divorce from his then-wife Jane, and fell into depression and substance abuse. Thankfully, he met Dana York, who he soon fell in love with and truth be told probably saved his life. He was able to get clean by '99 for the "Echo" tour, and the two later married in 2001. With the marriage came Dana's son from her previous marriage, Dylan, so now Tom has 3 kids. Next on the list is 2008, when Tom brings Mudcrutch back together to make another album. Why? I forget. But, I think something to do with the sake of nostalgia (you can really see in his music where he starts getting more nostalgic, one of the strongest expressions of this is "The Last DJ"

#running out of space so I'll add more....sorry lmao #classicrockcasualty #asks #tom petty

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 774: Lungfish A.C.R. 1999

The next album in Lungfish's discography is technically Necrophones, but until Dischord reissues it on vinyl or I find a decent copy that isn't $80 on Discogs, then I have to skip that one. But A.C.R. 1999 was actually the next collection of songs Lungfish recorded after The Unanimous Hour and six of its ten tracks later appeared on Necrophones, so...

A more scholarly Lungfish fan could probably tell you why the band opted to record at A.C.R. studios back in 1999 instead of going to Inner Ear as they had for their previous albums. And maybe they could tell you why the bulk of the album was re-recorded for Necrophones. Was this just a demo? Was the band ultimately unhappy with Necrophones? Is that why the album has been out of print for so long? And is that why Dischord put out A.C.R. 1999 in 2012? Unfortunately, I don't have the answers for you.

I know this much: by 2000, Lungfish had been a band for thirteen years. While they certainly had a contingent of die-hard fans, their lack of touring and the aging demographic of the Dischord crowd meant that their albums weren't selling as they once had. Necrophones was their ninth album, and even though Lungfish had continued to evolve over the years, they were still adhering to their minimalist principles. They weren't interested in polishing their sound or capitalizing on At The Drive In's mass-marketing of the post-hardcore scene or seizing upon the new millennium's cocaine-fed dance punk craze. They were simply continuing to be Lungfish.

By the time A.C.R. 1999 was released in 2012, the band's steadfast vision was seen as a virtue, but in 2000, some folks were beginning to see that consistency as a handicap. I'll be honest... I can relate with Lungfish here. While I admire artists that can successfully reinvent themselves, I often feel that artists that continually shape-shift lack any true center. We bemoan the rock artists of the '70s who cut their hair and added keyboards in the '80s, or the hardcore bands of the '80s that went for the crossover sound by the end of the decade, or the metal bands of the '80s that tried to latch onto grunge in the '90s. Fuck it. If you can go for over a decade adhering to your vision, I applaud you. It takes more creativity to continue finding inspiration in the tools at hand than it does to add a bunch of new tools into your arsenal.

So maybe this was the rationale behind releasing A.C.R. 1999 in 2012. Lungfish was ready for a cultural re-evaluation. We were no longer waiting to see what the next Lungfish album was going to sound like because we already knew the arc of their catalog. And A.C.R. 1999 made us take a second look at a period where Lungfish was being accused of stagnation and it reminded us that they were still a vibrant, exciting, and fearless band even as they continued to work within a set of parameters that other artists might consider restrictive.

#everyrecordiown #lungfish

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

Wolfgang Van Halen, the ex-bassist of the band Van Halen and son of the late guitarist Eddie Van Halen, has offered an update on the progress of the recording sessions for the second Mammoth WVH album. The effort will be the follow-up to "Mammoth WVH", which arrived in June 2021, some five years after the now-31-year-old musician began piecing together ideas for his solo career.

Speaking to Metal Talk, Wolfgang said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): "I'm about halfway through [the recording process]. I got a bunch of stuff recorded before we started on this tour. And then once I go home, I'll have a little holiday break, but then in January I'm gonna finish it. So it'll be ready to be released some time next year."

This past March, Wolfgang said during an appearance on "Whiplash", the KLOS radio show hosted by Full Metal Jackie, that he was hoping to begin working on the follow-up to "Mammoth WVH" at some point in the not-too-distant future. "Basically, I certainly don't wanna take as long as it did," he explained. "I think throughout that first process, I was really just figuring out what it was and who I was as my own artist, finding my own sound and discovering who I was as a lead singer, as a songwriter. But when it comes to the next album, now that I've figured out what this is and who I am, within the context of it, I'm really excited to figure out how to condense that process to as an efficient of time as possible, so I can get an album done in a third of the time while it being twice as good. It's always a personal challenge."

In February, Wolfgang told SiriusXM's "Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk" that he had already gathered plenty of material for Mammoth WVH's sophomore effort. "I'm very ready to get back in the studio," he said. "We have some leftover tracks from the first album that I'd like to take another look at — maybe add stuff or maybe redo entirely — and then a bunch of new ideas to get into."

Mammoth WVH's debut album was released via Explorer1 Music Group/EX1 Records.

Featuring Wolfgang on vocals and all instruments, "Mammoth WVH" was met with positive reviews and topped Billboard's Top Hard Rock Albums and Top Rock Albums charts.

Mammoth WVH's first single, "Distance", reached No. 1 on the MediaBase and BDS Active Rock Radio charts. A tribute to Wolfgang's father, the song was not originally intended to be on Mammoth WVH's debut album, but due to the overwhelming response to its accompanying video, which has been viewed over six million times on YouTube, it was added as a bonus track. All of Wolfgang's proceeds from "Distance" are being donated to Mr. Holland's Opus.

"Distance" is an open letter to Wolfgang's father, declaring "no matter what the distance is, I will be with you." The video for the song is created from a collection of family home movies through the years and offers an inside look in to one of music's most notable personalities. Chronicling the family through the years, the video ends with a touching voicemail left from Eddie to his son.

Asked why he decided to play all the instruments on Mammoth WVH's first LP, Wolfgang said in a 2021 interview: "I just figured since I could play everything, I wanted to see if I could do it. [Laughs] Basically, I just wanted to see. And then, since I could — at least I think I could; I guess it's up to everybody else to decide — I had such a fun time in the studio that I'm looking forward to getting back in there and doing it [again]."

In November 2020, Wolfgang confirmed that he asked his father for permission to use the Mammoth WVH band name for his solo project. Mammoth WVH is a nod to family history — Eddie and Alex Van Halen's band was called MAMMOTH when singer David Lee Roth first joined it in 1974.

Mammoth WVH's touring lineup features Wolfgang on guitar and lead vocals, Frank Sidoris (Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators) on guitar, Jon Jourdan on guitar and vocals, Garrett Whitlock (Tremonti) on drums, and Ronnie Ficarro on bass.

Mammoth WVH made its television debut in February 2021, performing "Distance" on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" and running through an exclusive acoustic arrangement on "Today".

On November 11, Mammoth WVH released a digital deluxe edition of the debut album via EX1 Records. The new digital deluxe features the bonus track from the Japanese version of the album, "Talk & Walk", as well as two previously unreleased tracks, "As Long As You're Not You" and "Goodbye".

#post van halen #mammoth wvh #mammoth #wolfgang van halen #eddie van halen #2022 #blabbermouth #klos #Whiplash #full metal jackie #Metal Talk #youtube #videos #sirius xm #trunk nation with eddie trunk

[cosettepontmercys]

Hi! How are you? Oh where in CA generally? I was here too cuz I live here haha. That's so nice..I'm glad it was sunny for you but it's been pretty cold and rainyish too. It always makes me feel ugh so I'm looking forward to spring next month. I don't have a least favorite really..they are just some im meh about but I guess I'm thinking of I Almost Do and Question I guess. I like the Story of us and Breathe and So it Goes but they're just never my favorites I guess and don't stand out in the album. What about you? Illicit Affairs is 10 and it's just kinda there to me along with the way I loved you but I love Marys song so idk. Maybe it's not that much of a pattern really. For 14, I don't care for you need to calm down Betty or Closure compared to others. I'm kinda nervous for this one and the title, since the comments from her Time interview bothered me a little. I hope it's more metaphorical than anything and has more of a Bonnie and Clyde vibe like we said! I'm just curious how the album will be and how it will sound.

Haha yes I am pretty excited for them all. I have played both Beyonce songs a lot and 16 carriages is a really good song. I will add your recs to my list along with Last Dinner Party, but am not as familiar with the other two. For twenty one pilots, they are supposed to release new music next week. I was hoping it would be the 21st since they did that last time but I guess not. However the easter egg stuff started and they have billboards with the new logo on it! Which is exciting and not what I expected. The new colors are reddish orange and yellow which is kinda part of lore. There's a cool theory about the album being called something like Inferno and also something about trials and evidence based on clues so far which could be like TPD. I am very excited to see if it will actually match up with Taylor again lol and the music and genre. I would be interested to see if you like their music when you can listen to it. Let me know if you want recs but I guess just start with Vessel or Blurryface if you want cuz I feel like I've done my best to explain their vibes lol and I will let you know how the new song is of course. Besides that, I will probably be playing all of Ariana and Bleachers music to prepare for their new albums.

Did you end up seeing the Wicked trailer yet? I did not watch it again since so I guess my excitement isn't really there yet and I mostly agree with you. I think the book is pretty different but it could be cool. It's pretty long so I will have to start it soon haha. I have not been reading that much lately but I really hope that can change by next month. I listened to some audios and videos of Aaron Tveit as Sweeney and think he is pretty good and better than I thought he was going to be. So that was something at least and made me happy. Also the connections category today! I must have done it last night right at midnight and thought it was yesterday's I guess. My sister and I knew it right away..I was kinda surprised it was the green category though and they tried to trick you with hard knocks lol.

A fun fact about me is that I used to confuse A Place in this World and the Outside all the time and did not know which one was which for the longest time, so they are definitely a pair to me and idk which one I like more. My favorites are Marys Song, Teardrops Our Song and Invisible so I'm most excited for those, but also replaying it a lot and being more familiar with ones I don't know as much or hear all the time. I think we will have to wait another year at this point though.. I was wrong about the ones I guessed and I don't think she played rep or Lover either. I keep guessing the Way I loved you and Glitch, so I'll stick with that..since those are two she hasn't performed yet. Begin Again and I think he knows which have similar thematic vibes, and change and starlight or a perfectly good heart. Lol idk if she will play those though. She's also adding some mashups to the mix which is really fun and makes it hard to guess. Wow that question is hard but off the top of my head, and not taking off too much from one era or anything, I think I would cut The Archer, We are Never, Tis the Damn Season, Bad Blood, and Midnight Rain. What about you? These are ones that seem least necessary to me I guess and I am excited to watch the movie again next month! That's a good point about why she wouldn't add a new set for the tour too, cuz the movie is already out. So she announced a new bonus track, so it makes me think the bonus tracks will be similar to Folklore and Evermore that had two bonus tracks and might be a different ending. The manuscript makes me think of the Lakes in a way and has a poets vibe to it and this one, the Bolter makes me think of its time to go, just based on title, mixed with the Archer. I have no idea if that's right but one is my favorite and the other is one of my least favorites lol. What do you think? I'm pretty sure the new lyrics means it goes with that song which is interesting but I'm not sure about the love you it's ruining my life one. I can't believe it's two months away only. I hope it's okay that I still talk to you about Taylor since I've seen some of your posts lately, which is fair and I do agree with some of it so I get it but also Taylor just makes me happy sometimes. I've felt weird and guilty talking to you about it like nothing is wrong since it seems to bother you more. Like you said, she has been a part of my life for a long time but I understand if you don't want me to talk about her anymore either. I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner and if I don't reply again it's because I will be stressed but hopefully not after this week. 🩷 Have a happy Wednesday!

hi!! i'm okay! looking forward to the weekend — it should be a good one! but also just looking forward to some down time; i feel like i've just been running around all week. how are you?

i was actually thinking about making a little bat signal 🩷 anon post yesterday, because apple music replay is out for the month of january, and look at who made it into my top artists?

i flew into san jose! my aunt lives about 45 minutes away from san jose :) it was a very quick visit! i'm really excited for spring too, even though that's when prime allergy season is for me — although the allergy shots i've been getting should help with that (in theory). do you have a favorite season? mine is 50-50 between spring and summer!

you don't need to feel guilty about talking to me about taylor, you're always welcome to talk to me about whatever you want — if i don't want to talk about something i'll tell you, i promise! 🤍 i have no interest in doing a public autopsy on her personal life (especially with "blaming joe" or whatever people seem to be doing, or talking about travis kelce at length) but aside from that i'm happy to keep chatting about her music — which is what we've been doing, so all good!! <33

i'm super curious now, what your least favorite taylor songs are. if you have any that jump to mind! and i don't mean songs that you skip because they're sad or whatever, but ones that you really just ... do not like! or wait, you know what would be fun? if you sent me your absolute favorite + least favorite from each album and i had to guess which one was what.

which comments from her time article bothered you? it's been a while since i read it so you might have to jog my memory a little! i am also quite worried about this album :/ i just ... don't really know what to expect, and i think people will be even more invasive and weird about taylor swift, which i'm very much dreading haha. she's been seeping into every work conversation i have which is also kind of annoying but that's fine.

do we think she'll announce another variant/bonus track in sydney? one of my best friends is on her way to sydney right now for the concert and i'm so so excited for her! i helped her get her tickets (she lives in australia) and i'm going to try to wake up at 3 am for her surprise songs 😭 if i didn't have work tomorrow i'd try to pull an all nighter and watch the entire concert but alas...

bleachers is coming to seattle for a music festival after all! so now i'm trying to decide if i want to get tickets for that or save my money. ugh. so many things! i just bought concert tickets yesterday and if all goes well i'm buying other concert tickets today haha. maybe we'll see how much i like the new album before i decide!

i justttt watched the wicked trailer and i ... am not particularly charmed or enthused by it. but the wicked tour is coming to seattle this fall, so i'm going to try to see it at least once! i think i'm actually going to do a 5 (?) show subscription for paramount — back to the future (my friend wants to see that one), wicked, mamma mia (my mom wants to see it), and then probably six and &juliet — might take my "little sister" to one of those! i saw some clips of aaron in sweeney but i'm not super familiar with sweeney so i didn't pass too much judgment! but the connections category was SO fun! i got it right away! i haven't been playing connections/wordle as much lately but randomly opened it yesterday and it felt like fate haha. might try to see company when it's here this summer too!!!

if i had to guess ... i think "i love you it's ruining my life" is in but daddy, i love him and "you don't get to tell me about sad" is in i can do it with a broken heart but i have no idea! curious to see what surprise songs are tonight, and if she'll do another mashup! my best friend really wants change on the guitar, so that's what i'm manifesting!

#post: answered #🩷 anon

[fadingoutintothehands]

My thoughts about NCT Tokyo (long post)

Preface/disclaimer - no hate to anyone mentiomed at all, there's no hate mentioned at all i just have to be safe. I just simply think too much about logistics and I need a place to put everything. I also have not kept up to date with NCT Tokyo at all, I only know their names and that they're debuting towards the end of the year? Or early next year? I also don't know the details of the legal issues with SM and if that's impacted their recent decisions with NCT. I haven't listen to Riize at all either, I don't know their names, only SungTaro. So take everything with a pinch of salt I guess.

1. Initial thoughts

I'm okay with NCT Tokyo, I'm okay with them being an NCT subunit I'm okay with their ages roughly, I'll most likely get as into them as I am with the rest of NCT once they debut. But ultimately my interest in kpop groups factors in the music as the *biggest* reason, so if they end up having music I don't like then I might not get into them that much (doubt it, I think they'll have good music) but I do plan to support them wholeheartedly.

I know their ages are a contention, but they're 5th gen after all and most of the new 5th gen groups seem to be in around the same age brackets. ZB1 has obviously taken off and we all love Yujin and he's the same age as the youngest Tokyo member I think?? NCT as a full group don't really interact as often as a subunit does, so having their whole unit be the same age bracket is fine. It's not like the eldest members of NCT are directly in the same subunit.

2. Golden Age

I like Golden Age its a good album its got great songs. I do have my own issues with the album and one of which is that I think it could've been a good way to introduce NCT Tokyo into NCT. A tie in album, where they get to debut in NCT and then later on they debut as the Tokyo sub unit. So personally I think maybe Golden Age should've been released much later than it was, so we could all get used to Tokyo and familiar enough that we want to see them on the album. Golden Age is obviously a mini rebrand for NCT, it's setting out the expectations for their new era, so having Tokyo included could've been really cool for that. Tokyo feels very separated from NCT at the moment so participating in Golden Age, even just only being on the all member song, could've really helped them to feel like part of the group right off the bat.

3. What would I have done?

Put the hypothetical hat on. Put it on, strap it on, you've got this, just think about it. Hypothetically if I was in charge of making the sub unit decisions, and I'm thinking like SM here, this is what I would've done. Firstly, keep Sungchan and Shotaro in NCT. Debut Riize as the sub unit NCT Riize this year (same time as their real debut ig) and have them be the 5th gen part of NCT as their concept? So now in 2023 we have NCT Riize as a subunit, at the same time SM has Tokyo in Rookies or their survival show, in the basement I dunno where they keep trainees.

Then, in a couple years (2-3) time we debut NCT Tokyo, and we add in either just Shotaro, or Sungchan and Shotaro (I know we like the "keep them together" policy) because that way we can tie in Tokyo to the rest of NCT. Debuting these existing trainees in a few years would also get rid of age hang ups as the youngest would be around 18. Shotaro as a Japanese member would not only fit the Tokyo concept, but would probably provide some comfort to these young kids who are going to need some familiarity at the start.

Could this member tie in have been done with Yuta if Riize isn't in NCT? No, I don't think so, Yuta being so much older than Tokyo would offset the vibes and the concept, whereas Shotaro isn't older than all of them completely by a wide gap. So ultimately have Shotaro act as a Mark & Haechan situation, obviously there's issues about overworking members but SM clearly has no issues with having Mark in all of their groups to ever exist so why would they have an issue with someone else doing the same thing. Clearly separating Riize and Tokyo comebacks/schedules would help too, so Shotaro isn't dead in the group 6 months in (cough cough not looking at the 127 comeback announcement made the day after Golden Age was released)

Adding 2 new sub units would also keep SM happy as they always wanted that Big Group thing going on, they've gotten rid of the limitless expansion but adding 2 new sub units doesn't ruin that. The group all together would have like 34 members or something similar,,, that's Not *too* bad, I could do that. Obviously it's going to be harder for new people to get into a group that large but the rest of us managed it with 20+ members. Are you telling me you don't know more than 30 people in you're life? I'm sure you've gone to school with more than 30 people and remembered their names well enough to get around.

5. Music

Honestly I don't really have any expectations for Tokyo's music. I'd imagine they stick the that new sound of 5th gen, and tie in the 'noise' music of NCT. I hope their sound is unique enough to stand out as a sub unit though; WayV obviously sounds like NCT but they also don't in the same way that 127 and Dream have overlap. So I'd like Tokyo to have their own distinct music genres which you wouldn't necessarily find in a 127 song etc. Or Riize for that matter, I hope they don't sound like Riize at all, because I think the last thing they need is to be compared to Riize this early on in their careers.

I don't know if it's been said that their songs will be in Japanese, but if they are then it poses a small issue for me? I've found that I don't particularly enjoy Japanese kpop songs as much, I didn't catch onto &Team as much as I thought I did, I don't listen to Japanese versions of Seventeen or Ateez songs. However as a counter point to this, I do very much enjoy the Japanese albums NCT 127 have done and I listen to them very regularly so if Tokyo is in the same ballpark then I think I would enjoy their songs in Japanese. I am a WayV ult stan at the end of the day, I have no issue with non Korean language kpop songs, and I listen to much more Japanese music outside of the kpop genre (shout out to Survive Said The Prophet i luv u).

Regular (huh?). Do we want another version of Regular? I do, I want a Japanese version to tie it all in, to have that whole NCT spin on things. It's another way to integrate them in and make Tokyo *feel* like NCT. It would be weird without Winwin because he's on all the other versions but that's not an issue I just like to think about it and giggle. Regular as their debut song however? No. Not even on their debut album. Release it as a single, or on a later release further down the line. I can wait for Regular Japanese version, I don't need it any time soon. I just think it'll be good to have in the roster at some point. Who knows, maybe it'll dethrone the WayV/Chinese version as my favourite?

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct tokyo #long post #neo culture technology #kpop #kpop boy group #very long post #mention of Riize #regular nct #regular huh #my silly little thoughts #my opinions? #dont take them seriously if you dont want to obviously #i love nct i ult them #maybe I'll make a follow up once NCT Tokyo have debuted #i am aware that the Dreamies dont have their own version of Regular #i just meant that having a Japanese version would complete the language set yknow

[meta-squash]

Intro to the Manic Street Preachers

(In which I wish I still had photoshop so I could make one of those silly slideshow type posts)

It’s come up in at least 3 separate conversations recently that I (or someone) should make an “intro to/how to get into the Manic Street Preachers,” so I’m gonna do that.

Also I tried to be brief but when it comes to the Manics and also writing in general that is not in my nature.

So here goes, a Manics 101 that is slightly longer than I anticipated but not as long as I might have made it:

First of all, a brief Manics history/bandmembers 101:

James Dean Bradfield - Lead singer, lead guitarist. Writes most of the music for the songs. Also has the job of cutting down the lyrics into something he can actually sing.

Nicky Wire - Lyricist, bassist. Writes the lyrics for the songs, with Richey and alone. Says he can’t play bass but is actually quite good. Loves to wear dresses/skirts onstage and is generally a fashion disaster. Has a big mouth and loves to criticize other bands. Has OCD and loves to clean. Is 6′3″ and has great legs and loves to mention both of those things.

Sean Moore - Drummer. Also writes some of the music. Is the only Manic who is classically trained, and sometimes plays trumpet on tracks. Sarcastic and small. Generally quiet and doesn’t like interviews. Is the only Manic actually active on social media (Twitter).

Richey Edwards - Lyricist, rhythm guitarist. Wrote most of the lyrics with Nicky and was essentially the band’s spokesman. Was extremely intelligent. Couldn’t play guitar well, basically stuck to power chords and usually forgot them anyway. Struggled with severe mental illness and addiction. Disappeared in 1995; his body was never found.

The band have all known each other since they were children and all lived in the same neighborhood. The band itself started basically in about 1989. Their thematic mantra was “culture, alienation, boredom and despair.” They were inspired by The Clash, Situationism, the Miners Strike and the various existentialist or absurdist literature they’d read. Their sound and style have changed pretty much every album. They’ve never managed to break into the American music scene but they are/were popular in Asia and Europe. Most of their songs are political or emotional, and rarely talk about love or relationships in the traditional sense. They didn’t go aboveground until 1996 and didn’t get a number one in the charts until 1998.

Where to start:

The Manics have changed their sound/style a lot, so it sometimes depends on what you like.

The bands most popular/charted songs are: Motorcycle Emptiness (1992) Faster (1994) A Design For Life (1996) If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next (1998) Your Love Alone Is Not Enough (2007) Rewind The Film (2013) Walk Me To The Bridge (2014) International Blue (2018)

But, like I said, it depends on what you like. So, here’s a rundown of suggestions for songs to listen to in order to get into them. I’ll link the song itself, give a little description of the album/song style or sound, themes, etc. Possibly some extra info if I think of any. And probably reasons why it’s a good introductory song. I’ll go chronologically, but feel free to pick and choose.

Motorcycle Emptiness - 1992. Generation Terrorists. An epic glam/punk rock anthem critiquing and despairing over the nature of society and modern culture. The band has said that if this song wasn’t included on the album, it would not have been successful. It’s also one of the coolest guitar songs the band has. This is often a starting song for most people.

Slash N Burn - 1992. Generation Terrorists. A much more punk rock song, a critique of the destructive nature of entertainment and “first world” culture, how entertainment means people ignore the ills of the world. This song is a good intro to their more social/political lyrics, and good for those who like the punk sound.

Bored Out Of My Mind - 1992. Generation Terrorists B-side. I’m including this because it was the first b-side I fell in love with. This is an acoustic piece, a lot more yearning and, well, tired/bored. It basically takes a punk riff and slows it down into something a lot prettier.

Roses In The Hospital - 1993. Gold Against The Soul. This is the song that made me fall in love with the band. It’s a critique of the mental health system, and a song about unhealthy coping mechanisms. This album has more of a grunge-feel to it, and is a lot more produced. The song features stair-stepping power chords and a grunge rhythm section with pop flair.

La Tristesse Durera - 1993. Gold Against The Soul. A grunge-style song about the way elderly veterans are (mis)treated and/or ignored by the general public once they no longer serve a purpose. This song has an excellent bassline and some great vocals.

Faster - 1994. The Holy Bible. This is the song the band itself and most fans hail as their masterpiece. An industrial/punk/hard rock song that has been described by James as “a set of sarcastic commandments for the modern age” and by Richey as being about self-abuse and “society speeding up - finds worth is failure.” It is a song that is utterly autonomous and judgemental, an Ubermensch of a song that is extremely powerful. It is, in the words of Simon Price “warped metal and tungsten under unendurable torque.”

This Is Yesterday - 1994. The Holy Bible. The calmest song on the album, this piece is a nostalgic look at the past. I’m mostly including it because the guitar riffs are simple but very pretty. (And because my roommate, who isn’t a fan, said she likes it a lot.)

ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayitsworldwouldfallapart - 1994. The Holy Bible. A fast-paced criticism of racism in the US and UK, filled with political and historical references. An industrial/post-punk style song with some excellent riffs and even better harmonies.

A Design For Life - 1996. Everything Must Go. An anthem for the working class. This song features strings and is a lot more “epic” than previous songs. The album itself is calmer, more radio-friendly. This was the band’s first big hit and the first album after Richey’s disappearance; it reached number 2 on the charts at its release.

Everything Must Go - 1996. Everything Must Go. A song ushering in a change in the band’s sound. It is the introduction of a larger, wider wall of sound, and the anthemic rock style of the album.

Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky - 1996. Everything Must Go. A song written by Richey before his disappearance, about the abuse of zoo animals. (In my opinion) The demo is better than the studio version, as it is a yearning acoustic piece that allows the guitar to echo the fragility of the lyrics. (The studio version has a harp that overshadows both guitar and lyrics, so I linked the demo which is my favorite.)

You Stole The Sun From My Heart - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. Lovely lyrics and a simple riff. This album has a cleaner, clearer sound. This song’s sound is optimistic even if the lyrics are slightly sadder.

I’m Not Working - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. A much slower, sadder song. I include this song because I think the lyrics describe a universal feeling. It’s a song that really shows the emotion of James’ vocals.

If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. The band’s first ever #1 single. This is an anti-fascist song about the Spanish Civil War, warning people to be aware of injustices. It’s anthemic and full of echoing guitars.

Intravenous Agnostic - 2001. Know Your Enemy. A return to their old punk sound. This is a slightly more anthemic take on the punk sound, but it works. The lyrics are weird but interesting.

Baby Elian - 2001. Know Your Enemy. A political song about Elian Gonzalez, a Cuban refugee who, as a 7 year old, was the center of an immigration and international custody battle between the US and Cuba.

Freedom Of Speech Won’t Feed My Children - 2001. Know Your Enemy. Another political song. I just love it because it’s SO anti-American.

Judge Yr’self - 2003 (1994). Lipstick Traces. This is from an anthology album, but it was an unreleased song recorded in 1994. Its lyrics are almost Nietszchean, intense and repetitive. Yet another huge hit with most fans, with themes and sound similar to Faster. An excellent if momentary resurfacing of their industrial sound of THB.

Empty Souls - 2004. Lifeblood. This album is more more digital-sounding, a lot more glacial than previous albums. The song is sad and aching, but very beautiful. It features a gorgeous piano riff and lingering guitar chords to complement the lyrics about loneliness.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough - 2007. Send Away The Tigers. Their biggest hit since Tolerate. It’s a duet with Nina Persson, the lyrics a conversation between two people about what makes someone gain contentment and what does/doesn’t help. This is much more a radio-friendly rock song.

Anorexic Rodin - 2007. Send Away The Tigers B-side. Another favorite b-side and favorite among fans. The lyrics are clearly about Richey Edwards, but the best thing about the song is the fast-paced marching of the distortion guitar and the badass punk rock chorus.

Imperial Bodybags - 2007. Send Away The Tigers. This song is incredibly late 60s/early 70s-feeling, for some reason. An excellent grooving riff drives a song about war and imperialism and how civilian deaths are trivialized.

Peeled Apples - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. First track on the album and an intense, sludgy punk intro. The band has said that the lyrics of this song are pretty impenetrable but the visuals they provide are fantastic. One of my favorites, and so much weird, aggressive, wild energy. This album consists entirely of songs Richey gave to the band just before his disappearance. Because of this, the album’s sound kind of combines the sounds of The Holy Bible with the slower, prettier sounds that the band developed over the years.

This Joke Sport Severed - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. A short, stark acoustic song about the failure of love and one’s own inadequacy. This song is gentle and simple, with yearning vocals and lovely chords.

All Is Vanity - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. A song closer to the post-punk sound of The Holy Bible. A lilting riff that disintegrates into a much harder sound complements the lyrics that illustrate a conflicted idea of the self and a desire for answers.

Postcards From A Young Man - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man. This song returns to the huge, anthemic sound of Everything Must Go. The drumming/guitar is a lot “bouncier” than most Manics songs, but the tune itself has some really interesting turns. The lyrics look back on the past, lamenting losses but refusing to be brought down by them.

Some Kind Of Nothingness - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man. Another anthemic song that incorporates strings/a choir, this song is another nostalgia trip, this time a bittersweet mourning, an acceptance of grief and the ache of memories. It features guest vocals by Echo & The Bunnymen’s Ian McCulloch.

Red Rubber - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man B-side. This is a surprise bop. A song about Leopold II’s violent colonization of central Africa (and takes the title from a documentary of the same name), it features synthesizer sounds and distortion guitar. It starts out sound slow and meandering, but suddenly picks up to a frenzied punk pace. The chorus is catchy as hell and angry as hell.

Rewind The Film - 2013. Rewind The Film. This album is almost entirely acoustic. The song itself features Richard Hawley (although I personally like the demo version with Nicky Wire on the vocals) and emphasizes its simplicity with acoustic guitar and simple piano and strings parts. This is yet another nostalgia song, wishing to re-experience happy memories. This one is not as grief-stricken as the other ones, and instead almost seems like a haze-tinged daydream.

As Holy As The Soil (That Buries Your Skin) - 2013. Rewind The Film. A Nicky Wire vocal, this is a song specifically written to/for Richey Edwards. An acoustic piece that features a beautiful trumpet solo from Sean, this song also grieves for the past and remembers good times. But this time it asks for those who are being grieved to return, and reminds them of how much the narrator (Nicky) loves them. This is a song that is so emotional it hurts to listen to but it’s also impossible to stop listening to it.

30 Year War - 2013. Rewind The Film. A departure from the nostalgia-trip of the last few songs, this song talks about the history of Wales and the government war on the working class during the 80s. It also features some lovely trumpet work from Sean and a really cool clapping-style drum beat. The lyrics describe class-related struggles and accuse the rich and the bourgeoisie of using propaganda to blame the poor/working class for their situation and to keep them from rising up in resistance.

Walk Me To The Bridge - 2014. Futurology. This album is a transition into prog rock/krautrock. This song features a heavy marching bassline and synthesizers, a huge glacial sound that opens up into a chorus with shining chords. Nicky says it’s about “the idea of bridges allowing you an out of body experience as you leave and arrive in different places,” but the demo also contains a number of Richey-specific references so who knows.

Sex Power Love And Money - 2014. Futurology. The power of this song mostly rides on power chords that structure it and the almost metallic-sounding synth and drums. The song itself is so fun it’s almost silly, a critique of technology and the entertainment industry that simultaneously takes itself seriously and takes the piss. It is a criticism of the entertainment industry and the way that capitalism erases originality and organic-ness. But it’s also just a fun musical romp that is almost reminiscent of late 90s/early 2000s Bowie.

Futurology - 2014. Futurology. This is a gentler song that fuses the huge glacial sound with something more sunny. The band describe the lyrics as “a statement of existential socialism – belief that humanity is still a viable ideal.” The lyrics and the guitar are optimistic and big, with a nice bass riff supporting the synth sounds behind it.

International Blue - 2018. Resistance Is Futile. A gorgeous, soaring song. Jumps off the back of Futurology’s proggy sound but adds more body. The song itself is about painter Yves Klein and his creation of the color Yves Klein Blue.

Broken Algorithms - 2018. Resistance Is Futile. Returning to their punk roots in terms of the rhythm section and crunchy guitar chords. A song also returning to Nicky’s perpetual subject: the critique of society’s thoughtless dependence on technology/social media and the consequences it can have on social awareness and creativity and the self.

#manic street preachers #manics #old repost #music meta #manic street preachers meta #intro to the manics #this is old as hell but i added rif to the end #and if there's a new album released next year maybe i'll add to this like i added withdrawn traces to the book review post #tbqh i only listen to like half the rif album on a regular basis oops

[fenoderee]

薫 [Guitar] Interview

Let's start with an interview with Kaoru, the main composer of the Band. He has been steering the Band in the direction of what he feels is new and interesting musically, but in what mode has he been working on the music now, and how did he complete the new song "Oboro"?

Nothing is interesting if it's exactly what you think it is at the beginning, but it becomes interesting if you think "it could look like this" and continue drawing.

-Since we're doing this remotely, I'm also curious about where you are now... Is it your home studio?

Kaoru: It's like a studio, a place where I write songs and draw pictures.

-A place where you can concentrate on one work. Have you had a studio for quite some time?

Kaoru: About five years ago. I've been using it since I started writing songs for 'The Insulated World' (released September 2018).

-I'm also curious about the monitor screen behind you, which I assume you're still writing songs on.

Kaoru: No, this is just the data for "Oboro". There's also a guitar in the composition.

-It's a studio that you can use freely 24 hours a day, are you the type of person who sets aside time to write songs?

Kaoru: Basically, I do, but it depends on the moment. When I'm in the mood, I don't need to set a time to write.

-I've heard that you've been writing songs for your next album for quite some time?

Kaoru: Yes. We started writing songs before we had finished "The Insulated World." I don't know if they will end up on the album or not, but I started writing them anyway.

-The style of your previous work was also key in terms of what inspired you to write a song and how you think about it, but what did you see in "The Insulated World“ that made you want to pursue it further?

Kaoru: To put it simply, I wanted to create something more intense. The last album was made with the intention of creating something intense, and the album before that "ARCHE" (released in December 2014), was a straightforward package of what we had created at that time. For the next album, I want to make sure that the songs I've chosen are the only ones I can think of. In that sense, I want to make a very intense album. I don't want it to be an intense album, or a slow album, or anything like that, but I want it to be a whole piece of work.

-Do you write your songs with the whole album in mind, rather than just one song at a time?

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. But when we first started writing the songs, I had a feeling about it, but I hadn't told the band yet.

-What kind of sounds and phrases come to you as a starting point when you are conscious of wanting to make something strong?

Kaoru: The way we create doesn't change much. It doesn't matter what the starting point is. I just start writing and then somewhere along the line I start to betray myself. I'll put in a phrase that sounds different. It's all about making the song more interesting. It's more like if you start off with the right idea, the song won't expand from there. I'm trying to find songs where I can find the unexpected.

-Do you also do some kind of input work to draw your own inspiration?

Kaoru: I do input, but I don't know if it's open or not. When I sit down in my studio and think "Come on, let's do it", I don't really think about anything else.

-Do you feel that starting to draw together has given some kind of feedback to your music?

Kaoru: I thought there would be, but not really (laughs). It's still the same, both in terms of salary and songs. If I tried to create it myself, I'd end up thinking in a very unorthodox way. The more I draw, the more I think the same way as I do when I write songs. It's not interesting if it's exactly what I had in mind from the start, but if I start drawing randomly and when something comes out, I think "it could look like this", and then I go on with it and it becomes interesting.

-So you don't like the fact that you can predict what you are going to do?

Kaoru: Yes. But in the case of a song, you can say "I've tried it, but I think I'll redo it", but with a picture, once you've put in one stroke, you can say "Oh, it's not the same", so the tension is different in that respect.

-Returning to the subject of one song, last year DIR EN GREY released "Ochita Koto no Aru Sora" as a download. When was this song born?

Kaoru: Last spring...well, it's been around for a while. It was a song that we had been working on. We reworked it and made it again.

-Were you in the mode of "I want to make it strong" from that point on?

Kaoru: I think we were in that mode, but I have an image of that song as a single, so it's a bit different. I wanted to put it together as a single, but with an unexpected twist. So it's a mixture of mellow, loud and core.

-But I think you felt you were able to move forward with one new song. Was there anything that came out of that?

Kaoru: It's still like we're trying to get our hands on something that's shrouded in mist. I'm still struggling with it.

-From what point did you start to make "This Single"?

Kaoru: Unusually for me, I started with a chord progression. I thought it would make a beautiful song. But as a song it was just a chord progression and I didn't have a definitive image yet. So I gave the members a listen to the song and said "Let's try it".

-Did you write the chord progressions while playing the guitar?

Kaoru: No, the keyboard. I thought it would be easier to understand the development of the song if I added the guitar when I played it for the members, so I did, but I hadn't added it before.

-A single keyboard is an instrument that makes it easy to visually see how the notes are stacked. Do you find it easier to move on to something unexpected if you use such an instrument?

Kaoru: When I'm creating phrases on the keyboard, I'm only imagining how the song will go. It's not that I'm trying to make the sound pile up purely because it's on the keyboard, but simply because it's easier to see than playing the guitar. This was especially true for "Oboro" and nowadays I always review the notes once on the keyboard. I also created "The World of Mercy" (released in September 2019) on the keyboard at first. When I added guitars to it, the song changed drastically.

-"Oboro" is finished in an arrangement that incorporates strings, but is the rough phrase of strings in your head from the beginning?

Kaoru: I didn't include it in the demo stage. In fact, I was thinking of not including it. But when I created the guitar solo and was thinking about what to do before it, I came up with the idea of strings. I put them in, and it worked out well, so I decided to put strings in the second half as well.

-So the guitar solo led to the string arrangement.

Kaoru: To put it coolly, yes (laughs). For a while we were trying to get rid of the guitar solo, but recently we've been trying to add the flavor of the guitar solo to the songs. I was struggling with this until about halfway through, when I really thought the guitar solo was necessary. Even now, there are times when I don't think it's necessary. But this is the same idea I had when I started adding guitar solos again. I grew up with that kind of music, and I was always impressed by the cool guitar solos of my favorite artists. I don't think solos are really necessary in this day and age, but as long as it's not too dull, it's okay. That's why I think about the phrases I use in my solos, but it's not like I have any deep feelings about them.

-When you were thinking about the phrases and melody for the guitar solo, did you have a song in mind yet?

Kaoru: I had a tentative song in mind, but I hadn't finished the verses yet.

-Oh, really? It's a solo with a melody and tone that fits the color of the poem very well.

Kaoru: So maybe it was my mouth that called up this poem (laughs).

-I'll say it, brother!

Kaoru: That's a lie, a lie (laughs). When I was thinking about the guitar solo, I felt like I was drawing a picture. I was trying to figure out what kind of sound I wanted the chords to make while creating a certain atmosphere. It's like I'm trying to figure out what emotion I want to put into it. The general idea was to keep the first phrase as it was, but change the nuances in the details.

It's limited, so you can't do something like a power collision, but it will surely be a live that is nothing but DIR EN GREY's live.

-You're a real romantic when you can get away with this kind of melody and arrangement.

Kaoru: Yeah, that's right (laughs).

-Another thing I noticed was how few guitar tracks there were. Is this a result of your desire for a change in the construction of the sound?

Kaoru: I think a lot of people feel that this song is easy to understand, but we just didn't make it easy to hear everything. If you listen to it carefully, it's actually not an easy song to understand at all...let's just say that (laughs). If you listen to it thinking that you can hear everything that is in it, you will never hear it. In fact, there are many "sounds" that are far away. I put them in such a way that you can't hear them. So I'm trying to make you feel it. I think the guitars in this song are meant to be felt. I don't want you to listen to it, but to feel it. That's why it doesn't come out with a bang, but there's something there. The number of tracks is smaller than in the days of "Dum Spiro Spero" (Continued in August 2011), but I thought it would be more interesting to let the listener hear that there are actually various sounds at key points. In that sense, I want the album to be dense.

-Did you come up with such a clever method while struggling with the music in your secret studio?

Kaoru: I'm basically twisted (laughs). But when I think something is not interesting, I naturally come up with something like that. When the album finally comes out, I think it's OK as long as everything is interesting and fits together. It's not like I haven't done this before, but this time I took the plunge.

-In this case, I think you have to be very careful about sound awards and mix balance. What kind of instructions did you give during the recording process?

Kaoru: I didn't make any detailed instructions. I just recorded it normally, reamped it in the studio, and at the last minute asked the engineer, "This is how I want it". The rest was left to the mix engineer. However, I had already talked with the members at the pre-production stage. I wanted the whole thing to sound like a warble, and the guitars were relatively up front. When it came time to mix it, I tried to make it more of a feeling than a sound.

-Neil Avalon was the mix engineer, was it easy to convey the subtle nuances?

Kaoru: Neil seemed to understand. Even so, it was difficult to convey even the most recognizable nuances, and I had many exchanges.

-You said you were going to have him play the guitar, but could you give us some pointers on "this part is actually the guitar"?

Kaoru: To make it easy to understand, in the A melody, there's a kind of arpeggio that goes back and forth. It's like a single note phrase.

-Is it an echo-like effect with a lot of depth?

Kaoru: Yes, yes. That's the one that's actually getting straightened out little by little (laughs). But you can't tell unless you listen carefully. The first shot is a bit choppy, so you can understand it, but the second half is very year-round and you may not understand it. It's interesting to understand.

-As I unraveled Oboro, using what you taught me as a hint, I felt like I was getting deeper and deeper into it.

Kaoru: Yes, I think it will be fun, so please listen carefully. Well, I'll try not to make you sit down (laughs).

-I'm a passenger, though, lol.

Kaoru: It's just something I came up with. But it wouldn't be interesting to have a song where everything is played, or where all the voices are heard, or where all the sounds of the five players must be heard because it's a band. If that's the case, then the guitar doesn't have to be played loudly.

-Did completing this song make what you wanted to do for the album clearer?

Kaoru: It's just that now that "Oboro" is done, I don't think there will be any more songs like this one (laughs). But we originally wrote this song as a ballad, and the album's ballad will be released as a single first. "Oboro" exists in my mind only as a single song, so I think I need a song with a different selection.

-Are you starting to give shape to it?

Kaoru: No, it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time for me and my team members to get to know each other. It's hard to find something that says, "Oh, you don't have to think that hard". So I try not to think about it (laughs).

-That's just like Dr. Den who is in album production mode (laughs). I always send the best car with the best machine to the landing place.

Kaoru: It's true. I can't decide, or rather I don't want to decide. I want to use the possibilities to the fullest as they grow. The members say to me, "Shouldn't you decide what kind of album you want to make?“ I usually answer, "No, I'd like to keep it a little more vague“. This always lasts until the second half of the album production (laughs).

-Since last year you haven't been able to perform live as much as you'd like, does that put you in a better frame of mind to concentrate on writing songs?

Kaoru: We haven't toured for a year now, we used to tour twice a year. Now I think there were hints in the casual conversations I had with the members in the dressing rooms before the gigs. I would get an idea for a song from a casual conversation, like "this song might fit this way". So I think it would be better if I had a chance to talk to the band members.

-Conversations with the members are different during the writing period and in the dressing room. In the dressing room, they might express their honest opinions, so it's easier to understand what they are thinking about.

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. It's hard to see because we don't have that now.

-Is your biggest input from your members?

Kaoru: I want to make decisions myself, but there are many things I can't decide. If the members say "it's good", I think "oh, it's good". I don't know if it's the right answer on my own.

-At the audience concert in May, I was asked to start by talking with the 5 members in the dressing room.

Kaoru: I don't think we have time for that (laughs). It's been a long time since I've been to a live concert.

-When the magazine goes on sale, the live performance will be in a few days. It's been a long time since you've done a live power exchange with the audience, how are you feeling now?

Kaoru: I sent my ideas for the setlist to the members just the other day, but no one responded, so I don't know if they think it's okay or if they'll think about it after rehearsal (laughs). I'm not sure how that will feel. But I'm not worried at all. I'm sure it will be nothing but a DIR EN GREY concert. Also, in a situation like this, everyone has their own opinion, and it doesn't mean that those who come to see the show are right. It will be the first one, or the beginning, or if it is the first step to get something, it will be the second step, so I would like to think about it after we try it.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

#Dir en grey 薫 #Translation #Fan Translation #GiGS #Magazine #interview translation #Kaoru #薫 #Oboro #Dir en grey Oboro #Dir en grey #Dir en grey Kaoru

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #142: A Formidable Album (5/21/21)

So... how 'bout that album release week?

There's so much to cover; the release of nine new songs, the hype that's building for the World's Best Band to return to the stage, and (if we're able to come up for air) the massive speculation of what the future brings for our band.

I'm gonna get right into it, laying out my thoughts regarding this bold new album and covering all the most notable news from the week. I'll be sharing my (mostly) positive opinions about Scaled and Icy under the Read More line; I hope they're the start of a fun conversation with all of y'all who have stuck around through this last year.

Scaled and Icy Review

First, my general thoughts on the album: It's good! Really good. Do I think it's a no-skip like Vessel or a cohesive piece of art like Trench? Absolutely not! But it's also not the potential misfire that I worried that we might be getting when I first heard "Saturday" (more on that later); I think all of the songs are at least good, and some of them are downright great tracks that hold up with anything else that our band has ever released. It is also indisputably very different, but I think that generally works pretty well. Many of the songs evoke '60s rock or Britpop sounds and structures that you can tell Tyler is still trying to navigate, but I think he does a very solid job at adapting them to suit his strengths- namely his lyricism and knack for melody- rather than change to suit them. Unfortunately, this does result in a bit of square-peg-in-round-hole syndrome at times; most of the rap verses on the album feel like they're here just to fulfill an obligation to fans who would be mad if they weren't here, and most of the songs that use them are the weakest ones in the project.

"Good Day" plays a major role in getting the rest of the album to work as well as it does. Its gradual ramp-up, introducing the sound that will be used throughout the rest of the album. Its playfulness belies its message about how one can project a somewhat false optimism for oneself in the midst of tragedy: the type of dark stuff in a bright package that Tyler is so so good at. It's perhaps not an instant classic, but I am excited to see how it comes across when it's eventually used as a show-opener. 9/10

I've of course already discussed "Shy Away"; an anthemic, inimitably catchy track that I just wish had a bit more going on under the hood. Still going to be so good to hear thousands of voices scream "An 'I LOVE YOU' that isn't words!" someday. 9.5/10

"Choker" definitely took a little bit to grow on me. I think part of that was a bit of disappointment from over-inflated expectations and the environment I was in when I first heard it. With further listens, I fall more and more in love with the melody of the song... well, most of it. Like the rest of this album, the biggest weakness in the song is when Tyler tries to tick the box of having a rap verse; it just feels really out of place, unfinished, and almost amateurish, and it doesn't end the song on the note that it really should. Without it, it'd be one of my favorites on the album; with it, "Choker" is a solid 8.5/10.

Speaking of unfinished-sounding songs really hurt by their rap verse: "The Outside". There's a definite something to the vibe of the song, but that seemingly nonsensical verse is one of the two weakest parts of the entire project for me. The way the song meanders only adds to the feeling that there wasn't as much energy and attention paid to it compared to other parts of the project. It's pretty easily my least favorite track on Scaled and Icy, and the only one I might regularly skip. I've also seen plenty of people saying it's the best song on the album, so please tell me why I'm wrong! 6.5/10

"Saturday", as mentioned above, had me really nervous about this album. Like "Choker", it's grown on me a bit since I first heard it, in part because it fits better with the context of the rest of the album. However, this one really does feel undercooked lyrically and overreliant on the novelty of using a disco-inspired sound that seems to chase trends more than almost any other TØP track. The inclusion of that very sweet audio clip from Jenna boosts the song in some ways, but also adds to the disappointment in others; there are many other songs on this project that would be more worth surrendering time watching Friends. Thankfully, those come next. 7/10

"Never Take It" is fascinating. I never thought I'd hear a Rolling Stones-style song from Tyler Joseph featuring a gd guitar solo of all things, and it actually sounds pretty great. However, I also predict that this song will see some of the greatest critical scrutiny out of all the songs on the album. The lyrics seem to be Tyler's criticism of the media for playing up division in our society, but he's extremely vague when discussing which entities are spreading said division and ultimately recommends that people "educate yourself, but never too much". I'll be honest: maybe it's the fact that it sounds like something my dad would listen to, but it feels like this would get tons of play on Fox News. Since it makes specific reference to the events of last summer, it's hard not to feel like song is at least partially inspired by Tyler's brush with cancellation last year. Maybe I'm reading too deeply into it, but those reservations come from the song's lack of specificity, which is an issue of songwriting more than politics. They hold me back from truly loving a song that still manages to be one of the most exciting the band has ever put out. 8.5/10

"Mulberry Street" seems like the perfect realization of the entire album's intended tone. It is so pleasant, so lush while also simply produced, full of great lyrics, metaphors, and imagery. It really brings the whole project together, even if it's missing That One Line to really move this up to the top tier of the canon. 9.5/10

"Formidable" is the best song on the album and one of two songs I would truly rank in the top tier of the band's canon. Extremely pleasant and brimming with well-crafted lines to make your heart swoon. Jenna (and Rosie) is (are) a lucky gal(s). Or is it about Josh? Who's to say? 10/10

"Bounce Man" is just plain wild. I think Tyler's smuggling someone to Mexico to escape the feds? The playfulness of it all really covers up any frustration I might have with the clarity; it makes it clear that there's not really stakes here, just vibes. 8.5/10

"No Chances" sees the album take a turn that I'm sure the Reddit Clique is going to have an absolute field day with; it and "Redecorate" both sound quite different from the rest of the album and evoke enough elements of Trench to make me think that's it's actually possible that all this 'SAI is Propaganda' stuff might actually have something to it... until I actually pick apart the lyrics, then I'm even more confused. The song has some of the best rapping on the album, though that's not saying much (the feng shui line is a groaner right out the gate) and the gentle pre-chorus is really pleasant. I still haven't made up my mind on whether the chorus is effective or just plain goofy. This one might get worse or better on repeat listens, impossible to say for now. 7.5/10

"Redecorate" rounds out the album by opening with a Clancy quote (Tyler, you bastard), firmly setting this as a coda to Trench more than the album we just listened to. The rest of the song is really storytelling, with Tyler describing a bunch of people who are struggling deeply. The idea of "redecorating" here stands for how they are faced with the option to clean and resort their own spaces and lives or leave that to their loved ones to do after they're gone. By the time it gets to the album's name drop, you begin to wonder how much of this is potential autobiographical of the last year. It's moving stuff, a callback to some of the great strengths of the band's discography. 10/10

If I average those scores all up, this project ranks below almost every album among the Pilots discography on my rating scale, very narrowly edging out Self-Titled. That's still a very solid 8.6. Scaled and Icy is a very good album on first listen. We'll see how I feel about it after having a little more time to sit with it, but I've rambled enough: let's move through the rest of the week's news.

Other News

Of course, there was a lot else going on this week! To accompany the release of "Saturday", Zane Lowe over at Apple Music dropped an interview with Tyler. As usual, Zane did a pretty solid job of getting to the heart of the craft and the creation process. However, Tyler also wound up skirting a lot of the questions to just talk more about how much he loves being a dad, which makes me happy; if the cost of getting a little less attention and mental energy devoted to the music is that little girl getting all of his attention, that's honestly preferable for me.

The album rollout is not even close to over. Later today, the concert will be streamed live. It's our first real performance that we've gotten from the band since 2019, but the previews that we've seen have completely exceeded any of my expectations, and really anything that we've seen from the band. It appears that they've transformed the entire arena (which I think is the ol' Schott at Ohio State) into a whole TØP world, with different sets laden with Easter eggs and a cast of backup dancers. If the website can hold up to the traffic (and I acknowledge that might be a big ask), this could really live up to Tyler's promise of this being the best livestreamed concert ever.

Oh, and this guy dyed his hair pink.

What a time to be a fan. Catch you all tomorrow.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #scaled and icy #tyler joseph #josh dun #good day #shy away #choker #the outside #saturday #never take it #mulberry street #formidable #bounce man #no chances #redecorate #top weekly update

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Two

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Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, violence, drug abuse, domestic abuse

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Vivian strikes again. 

My leg shakes with each tap of my foot as I impatiently wait for her to come through that door. I've been waiting for nearly forty-five minutes. 

Maybe I scared her off with pitching a fit over her not telling me about her miscarriages. But I had a good reason to be upset. Addict or not, I fucking deserved to know what the hell was going on.

"Where's your wife?" Amber asks me, glancing at her watch. 

"Hiding more kids from me, probably." I mumble and she raises her brows, staring at me for a moment. 

"While we wait for her, can you do me a favor?" She asks and I shrug. "Take a few minutes to try to imagine what having kids during the last four years would have been like with your drug addiction. Because you would still have a drug addiction--babies wouldn't have changed that." She points out. "Honestly," she adds. "Close your eyes, and take some breaths, and just use your imagination as to what having children during these last few years would have done to you, and to your wife.

I take a breath and close my eyes, deciding it probably couldn't hurt to try to wrap my head around being a dad right now, especially with as many as she lost...

1984

...I feel Viv's weight shift from me, her eyes closed, a little hum comes from her when she turns her back to me but still keeps close, her feet tangled with mine, her lions mane of hair still spread out over my pillow as well as hers. Despite being half asleep, myself, I tighten my arms hold just under her ribs and pull her to me before my hand slides over her five-month pregnant stomach. 

I lull back to sleep, before I'm woken up merely minutes later by the sound of the baby crying and Vivian pulling herself away from me, putting her robe on to cover her naked body. 

She sighs under her breath, mumbling something, and I sit up. 

"I can go--"

"--No, I got it." She says, dismissively.

"Vivian, are you still pissed at me?" I ask. 

"You ditched me on our anniversary and stayed out all night smoking smack and partying with your moron friends."

"I offered for you to come out with us." I remind her.

"I'm pregnant and we have a daughter here, Nikki. One of us needs to remember that." She adds before stomping out. 

I roll my jaw and feel a spiteful twinge in my mind. 

Perhaps spiteful, perhaps wanting to chase away the guilt of ditching her last night…

I end up in the bathroom, chasing the dragon, curled under my high while hearing Vivian softly sing hymnals to the six-month old…

I assume she knows exactly where I'm at once she's done, because I hear her walk back to our bedroom and, when she usually comes to find me so she's not by herself, she doesn't come looking for me. 

1986

"...No, you idiot, not that…" I say to myself, rubbing my forehead, scribbling out the line of lyrics I've been fighting to get out. 

The door of mine and Viv's bedroom is soon bursting at the hinges, allowing me to fully hear Pierce crying while Frannie and Johnny come rushing into the room, squealing. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" I stop them before they can crawl under the bed. "What's goin' on?" I ask them, slowly hiding the Jack bottle in my bass case.

I spent last night freebasing and I'm still trying to coax myself down. 

Frannie looks at me with sharp green eyes, her brown hair knotty looking from wallowing on the living room carpet earlier...Johnny, brown eyes and red hair, just puts his attention on the pissed off Vivian that's stalking her way in here with the baby. 

"Um," Frannie starts, trying to think up her excuse. 

"Francesca and Johnathan tried to tote Pierce off again." Vivian states, eyeing the two toddlers with daggers, and they slowly sink down to try to use me as a human shield. 

"He's a new baby, Viv, they don't mean any harm. They just--"

"--Okay, well maybe if you put the bass down and actually come in here and help me out, you can supervise them while they 'hold' him, since I'm trying to start on dinner." She states. 

I glance at the kids and then at her…

"Or you can stare at me like an idiot, too." She mumbles, going to shut the door as she says, "You have no issue knocking me up but won't help me with them once they're out."

 I roll my jaw and grab my bottle of Jack, putting my bass back. 

What the fuck? 

If it wasn't for me writing songs, the band wouldn't have new material, which would mean no new album, which would mean no money--not enough to support her and three fuckings kids, anyway, so she should be thanking me for still wanting to provide for my fucking family. Because anybody else with three kids in two years would be putting a bullet through their skull. 

"C'mon, guys," I say to Frannie and Johnny, and they follow me out, Frannie reaching up to grab my hand. 

I put old cartoons on the TV while Viv puts Pierce down to sleep once he's drifted off. 

On her way out of the nursery, I'm stopping her in the hallway, my hand grasping her arm in a tight hold, roughly tugging her into the guest bathroom, cracking the door. 

I've got her against the counter, hand around her throat, gasping little breaths pushing past her lips for a moment as I say, "if you ever talk to me like that in front of my fucking kids again, I'll give you plenty to bitch about." I promise her, lowly, and she just looks up at me and nods. 

"Now turn around." I say next and she glances at the door. 

"Nikki, we don't have tim--"

"--They're watching TV. Turn around." I repeat and she grins a little, licking her lips and turns to face the mirror. 

I'm unzipping my pants, yanking her shorts down and pushing her panties to the side before grabbing a fist full of her hair and sliding it in, tilting my head back and grinning as she makes little whimpers in an attempt to keep from being loud. 

We've mastered the art of 'a good time in a short time,' and once we've both had our release, I'm zipping my pants back up, and she's still bent over the sink, hands white knuckling the edge of the counter, hair in her face, bite marks on her shoulders, cum down her shaking legs, trying to catch her breath.

I kiss the place between her shoulder blades, the back of her neck, her hair, my hand getting her hair from her face to look at her in the mirror.

She's looking at me with a little smile, right before, "I'm pregnant again," comes out and shatters my post-orgasm buzz. 

My knuckles sting as blood rolls down my fist, glass falling onto the counter, sink, and floor, when I drive my fist past her and into the mirror. 

She just hangs her head and I'm getting out, feeling the walls of the bathroom caving in on me. 

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Frannie asks as I grab my keys and my jacket. 

"Nothing, Frannie. Daddy's going out, alright?" I tell her. "When mommy gets in here give her a big hug." I add, seeing Johnny's too enthralled with Charlie Brown to notice I'm even leaving. 

I kiss her head and I'm out the door before Vivian gets out of the bathroom. 

I swear the only thing keeping us together is the fact that when divorce is an unspoken thought for either of us, she gets pregnant. 

I'm twenty-seven years old and I have a two year old, a one year old, a two month old, and now she's fucking knocked up again?!

How the hell is that even possible? Don't chicks need like six months for their bodies to reset after popping kids out or something? Jesus I married a PEZ dispenser with a never ending supply of eggs. 

By the time I get to where I'm going, I already regret it. 

Incense, crack fumes and perfume suffocate me as soon as she opens the door in her bra and panties. 

Not necessarily in a sexy way--more so in a higher than a kite and disheveled type of way. 

Which is perfectly fine with me because I don't need 'sexy' right now. I just need to get outta my head. 

Despite that, though, clothes come off, we end up on the living room floor, and instead of smoking a cigarette once we're finished, we opt for more erasure. 

"She's pregnant again." I confess to Tansy  out of nowhere after breathing out some smoke, my mind getting pushed aside, the crawling of my skin starting to settle. 

Blue eyes look at me as I hand it over before her greedy hands snatch it. 

"What?" She asks me. 

"Vivian's pregnant." I repeat. 

"I am, too." She says it so seriously that I look at her for a second, before seeing the very corner of her lips tug for a millisecond. 

"You're bullshitting me?" 

"I'm bullshitting you." She says, giggling, and 

I start ranting about it, my words getting more and more jumbled and lost the more hits of the pipe I take, until I'm not even worried about Vivian due to the paranoia that ensues. 

I get home at 5:00a.m….the day after the next. How low do I have to be to continuously go her best friend and my own moronic self pity? I don't know. 

I shut the door to the house and put my shit down, nearly tripping when I try to take my boots off. 

I'm on Halcions and Jack, and I think they're starting to kick in because I'm fucking exhausted. 

I glance at the living room scattered with toys and rub my face. 

I get it: "Mötley Crüe, don't give a fuck, fuck precautions, fuck all of it," but come on, man.

 How the hell could you be so fucking reckless?

I walk into our room, the lamp on Viv's night side table on while she's got one long leg out of the covers, laying on her stomach, arms under her pillow, the covers falling just enough to cover the tops of her thighs and her ass, her back and the side of her chest peeking out, exposed. 

She looks fucking beautiful.

Oh, yeah, that's how the hell I could be so reckless. 

I go rinse off in the shower for a second to try to wash away Tans and the drugs...maybe even guilt….

When I'm done, I peek out of the bathroom to see that she's still asleep, and I turn off her lamp and crawl into bed, closing my eyes for a moment. 

I feel her move closer to me before her lips are pressing to my cheek, hands running over my chest gently before she lays down, throws her leg over my stomach, and rests her cheek on my chest. 

"Are you still mad at me?" She questions softly, and I let out a breath.

"I'm mad at myself, Viv." I mumble. 

"Oh." She replies quietly. "I would get on birth control but it wouldn't react well with my Nardil."

"You mean the Nardil you aren't taking anyway?" 

She's silent. 

"Honestly at a point where I don't even want to have sex anymore because you're gonna end up getting pregnant." I add, gruffly. 

"Oh, come on, Nikki." She scoffs, not believing me. 

"I'm serious, Vivian. I'm tired of being a fucking baby mill." 

"Oh you're the baby mill? You just get your rocks off and I'm the one carrying the thing for nine months but you're the victim here?" 

She sits up and glares at me. 

"Yes! I am!" I argue. "You have this weird thing with cum that I've always thought was hot but now I'm starting to realize you're just trying to boulder me down." 

"Nikki, you've made it very clear that marriage and babies aren't bouldering you down. You still go out and party and do your drugs and your day drinking--you were just gone for over a day...so I don't want to hear, 'you're bouldering me down,' because I'm not. If you wanna leave, then leave." She snaps.

I roll my eyes and she goes back to her side of the bed and turns away from me, before she snatches all the covers away from me. 

I'm too tired for it so I just pass out. 

1987 

"Nikki!" Doc is banging away at my door, making me snarl to myself before capping my needle and hiding it under my pillow. 

"What?!" I bark out, going to the door. 

I swing it open, naked, aside from stained underwear, to see Vivian and my whole litter of kids.

"S-Surpise!" Viv tries to keep her tone light and cheery for the five kids around her, our brand new girls in her arms.  

I don't know how to react except to shut the door in their faces and angrily get my shit together. 

I'm out of the shower and dressed in the next hour, taking the smallest hit from the needle I hid, just as a maintenance dose, before I'm heading to Doc's room--where I'm assuming he took them when they realized I wasn't coming back out. 

I knock on the door and Viv opens it, looking up at me. 

"Suprise!" I mimic how she greeted me earlier, and she scowls at me and goes to slam the door in my face, but I'm stopping it with my hand and shoving it open. 

"Daddy!" Frannie, Johnny, and Pierce come running to me and I'm getting down and letting them attack me, wrapping my arms around them. Pierce is nearly two, now, and he's nearly as tall as Frannie. 

Dannie is walking cautiously to me, smiling at me and I meet him halfway and pick him up, kissing his cheek as I go over to the little babies Doc's supervising, one a replica of me, the other of Viv…

I lean down and kiss both of them, making them smile and kick their feet, excitedly. 

I wasn't there with them when they were born. 

I go over to Vivian, who's got her arms crossed, her jaw clenched.  

"Does Daddy get a kiss from Mommy, too?" I ask. 

"Daddy doesn't have to fuss at mommy for having more babies anytime soon because daddy isn't gonna get to be in the same bed as mommy for a long time." She replies. 

"Mommy seems to forget that the last three babies weren't even made in a bed." I reply. 

"Do you guys wanna few minutes alone? I can get Fred, Emi and Donna down here to help me." Doc offers and I look at him. 

"That's out of character and nice of you." I state suspiciously. 

"Despite you being an asshole, your kids aren't." He shrugs and I roll my eyes. 

I kiss all of them bye for a couple hours, and put Dannie down before tugging at Viv's hand once Fred and the girls get here...I see Donna and feel guilty…one of the chicks I cheated on my wife with is taking care of our kids…

When we get to a new room--mines so out of wack I don't want Viv to pass out--we do what we do best and in the aftermath, small talk in between breaks of making out, Vivian drops the ball. 

"I know you've been seeing her." She tells me out of nowhere when my lips press to her neck, quietly. 

My body tenses up. 

"What?" I sit up and she does, too. 

"There's no need to be shocked that I found out--we both know you wanted me to find out. Why the hell else would you leave letters you two write back and forth with each other, out in our closet where you know I'd find them?"

I just look at her. 

"You and Tansy, Nikki." She states, tears in her eyes. "Why the hell have you done this to me, Nikki? She's my best friend?" 

Is she serious? 

I get out of bed and pull my pants on, ignoring her. 

"I'm not shocked, you know, I always knew you'd be a deadbeat husband and a deadbeat dad, just like your father." 

I start clapping slowly, really appreciating her performance.

"Bravo, Vivian, really, you should get a fucking award for those tears." I state, fed up. "It's gotta be theatrics because what sense would it make for you to be genuinely upset I've been hooking up with Tansy, when you and Robbin have been seeing each other for two fucking years, now?!" 

Her eyes widen, she looks like a deer in headlights...which just confirms it all the more to me. 

"How fucked up do you have to be to cheat on your husband with his fucking brother, while pregnant with his fucking kid?" I ask and she takes heavy breaths, obviously trying to get her temper under control. "Not to mention that I'm starting to question if Dannie is even mine being as he looks nothing like me." 

She's slapping the piss out of me, tears streaming down her face. 

I rub at the stinging hot skin of my cheek and roll my jaw, staring at her a few seconds, before shoving her back to the bed, grabbing her shoulders, getting in her face while shouting, "you stupid fucking bitch, I fucking hate, you ruined my fucking life!" 

She's sobbing now, her head turned, mascara staining her cheeks as I push myself off of her and trudge to the door. 

"Cheating on me for two goddamn years, you fucking whore, who the hell do you think you are?! I can have kids with anybody, I can have anybody I want, but I fucking chose you and this is how you repay me?! Fuck you! There's a million fucking yous out there!" I throw a bottle at her and it misses by a couple inches and she sits up, trying to stand up as I open the door. 

"I'm getting my fucking kids away from you, you fucking crazy cunt!" I call and she's rushing out, wearing my t-shirt to cover herself up, grabbing my hand and yanking me to a halt before I can start to Doc's room. 

"You're not touching my kids, Nikki, I swear to God I'll fucking kill you, don't touch my fucking kids! You're fucking stoned!" She threatens me and I turn. 

"Oh, you'll kill me?!" I bow up at her and she punches me, her ring cutting my cheek, before she's hitting me again. 

She goes for a third time but I block her and shove her down, kicking her as hard as I can in the ribs, knocking the breath out of her. 

"Don't fucking touch me, you fucking slut." I smear the blood from my cheek, banging on Doc's door as she crawls a few feet before managing to pull herself up, resting against the wall, coming towards me. 

The door opens and I see Emi with Pierce in her arms. 

I don't say a word to her, I just grab him and smile at him, bouncing him a little, as I say, "Frannie, John, c'mon!" 

Of course they come, not realizing what's happening. 

Until Vivian's trying to pry Pierce from my hands. 

"Let go of my baby!" She screams at me, trying to bat me away from him while he starts whining. 

She hits me with her closed fist in my ear and I lose it, punching her so hard she hits the ground, Frannie and John immediately start crying upon seeing their mother bloody and dismayed.

The door opens more to reveal Doc as Emi looks at me, horrified, pulling John and Frannie back inside before Doc's snatching Pierce from me. 

"What the hell is going on?!" Doc shouts as guests peek their heads out of their doors. 

It's as if my demons give me the reins back and split, leaving me to look down at my beat up wife, crying, hearing my traumatized kids crying out behind the door. 

I just stumble back, my back hitting the wall before I'm sliding down it to the floor, staring off as Doc continues to yell at me...

...I blink, being pulled back to reality, staring down at the floor of Amber's office.

I'm not sure if we had kids by then, if Viv would have stayed or left. I'm not sure why I imagined I would've been with Tansy and not Vanity, why she would have had an affair with Robbin and not Duff...maybe I knew, subconsciously, that us having children at that time would have changed the way everything happened between us.

"I guess it was for the best." I reply to her, finally, looking at her. 

"Everything happens for a reason." She assures me. "There is a reason she didn't have any babies in the past four years." 

"Okay, wise one, is there any reason she isn't here today?" 

VIVIAN

"...Mom, and my brother Jon, my sister Carol, my brother Mark, my brother Bruce, my sister Joan, my other sister Claudia, and that's Matt--you know Matt," he glances at me and I nod, looking at the picture of the family, "And then there's me." He points to a toddler and I grin, looking at him. "My dad didn't wanna be in the picture, which I'm glad he wasn't because I would've cut him out if it, anyway when he left, so…" he shrugs, looking at it another moment. "Alright, let me show you to your room." He wiggles his brows and I giggle as he picks up my suitcase and leads me back down a hallway. 

"This is Joan's old room, obviously been redecorated because it's not covered in ABBA and Cher ." He mumbles. 

"I heard that!" Joan says from the living room. 

"No ya didn't!" He replies, smiling at me, putting my suitcase on the bed. "Everybody's coming over for dinner tonight so you have time to take a nap, get comfortable, whatever." He shrugs and I nod. 

"Okay." I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"I'm gonna go help my mom and Joan start cooking." He adds. 

"I can hel--"

"--You didn't sleep at all on the way up here, Viv."

"Because I wasn't tired." I lie and he looks at me. 

"Take a nap." He tells me, moving the suitcase off of my bed. 

"Fine." I roll my eyes. 

"Love you." He leaves me, shutting the door and I get on the bed, getting comfortable, and wondering what Nikki's doing right now...he's probably shitting a brick. 

After an hour, the door is opening and Duff's squeezing my fuzzy sock covered feet, making me laughs and yank my legs away from him. 

I haven't slept, but I've rested enough that I don't feel as sluggish. 

"You stink." I wrinkle my nose when he lays beside me. 

"Onions." He replies. "Joan kicked me out for chasing her around with the raw chicken." He adds. 

"And now raw chicken juice is on my feet?" I ask. 

"No, I washed my hands." He assures me. 

"Okay." I chuckle, rubbing my lips together. 

"Who all's coming to dinner?" I ask, next. "Jon, Bruce, Claudia, and my buddy Andy." He informs me. "Matt's coming up to go out for breakfast with me, you, Andy, and Joan tomorrow morning, and later this week we're gonna have a barbecue and you'll get to meet everybody, including my nieces and nephews." He adds and I raise my brows. 

"That's a lot of people." I reply, raising my brows.

"Very big family." He agrees. 

"It's weird." I say next and he furrows his brows. "Not like that, just...I don't know I'm used to being the only child, no cousins, no aunts or uncles--well, aside from aunt Lily--Nikki's not real close to his family, so we just...we're not really big on family." I shrug. "Well, dad is, he's always wanted more kids and a big family, I think, but my mom didn't so he didn't press her about it since she was ultimately the one who'd be carrying them." I add. 

"Do you want anymore kids?" He asks me and I let out a breath. 

"I'm not sure…" I trail off. "...I'd like to, but I don't know. I haven't thought about it, much." I lie and he nods. 

"Do you want anymore kids?" I ask him. 

"I do at some point, I don't think Mandy wants to, though. She says being a step-mom at the age of twenty-five is enough." He tells me. 

"Maybe she'll change her mind." I say. 

"She didn't want any kids when we first dated, so I think the only reason she's even making leeway for a stepchild is because she loves me." 

"It says a lot about her if she's willing to do that, though. A lot of women would've left." 

"Yeah, she's cooler about it than I thought she'd be." He agrees. "What did Nikki do when you first told him?" 

"He cried." I admit. "Like, a lot." 

"That's understandable." He says lowly. 

"Yeah, it is." I nod. "He's okay with it, now, though. He's not mad at either of us. I think he's more upset with himself about the whole thing." 

It's quiet for a few minutes before I get up enough courage to ask him, "are you happy?" 

"What do you mean?"

"Like...you know...our break up, and then you and Mandy are engaged now and I'm pregnant…"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm great, Viv." He assures me, sounding genuine. "I don't know, things are a mess and crazy right now but I feel like it's falling into place at the same time, you know?"

I nod, smiling softly…

…I bought it for that moment.

I realized he was lying to himself the next morning at breakfast when he told the waitress to bring him a screwdriver--a triple--and, "just keep 'em coming."

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed : Chapter one

A/N: okay chapter one is here going a little slow with the storyline wanted to add a little bit of details to the lives of the characters. I can guarantee in next chapter our hero will be in full form and not just in flashbacks. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

 Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

 Warnings: none, flashbacks.

 Mini playlist: love story, ME! By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

 Sounds of giggles and laughter " No! she is my best friend" Harrison exclaimed pulling you by grabbing your left hand towards him "No she is my best friend!" Tom said, pulling your right hand. You couldn't stop giggling as you were stuck between a tug of war between your two best friends who stated that you can only be best friend to any one of them not both. You were only 5 years old then Tom & Harrison both 3 years older than you but you loved hanging out with them.

Your parents shifted from LA to London for their work and coincidentally your house was in the same neighborhood as were of the boys. You all became friends through your mothers when they used to take you to the park when you were toddlers. You were the only girl of the whole boys gang consisting of Tom, Harrison, Harry and Sam and they were very protective about you. You used to boss them around.

 As Haz and Tom were quarrelling over whose best friend you were in the backyard of the Holland's house. Tom out of nowhere declared "if it's that so Y/N is my girlfriend" and gave a gentle peck on your lips, you stood there in shock and soon you started blushing as you covered your face with your hands and ran inside to your mother who was chatting with Nikki.

 You went up to your mom and asked innocently "Mom, Tom said that I'm his girlfriend and gave me a kissy like you give me every night before bed. Is he no more my best friend ?" Both the mothers started laughing as Nikki spoke  “no peanut he will always be your best friend and if you love bugs stay like this forever maybe he can be your husband too."

 You scrunched your face and said "eww!! I will not marry him"

 “why is that so? " your mother asked laughing

 "he always steals my chocolates" you said innocently “no I don't!! Tom said from behind as he entered the house with Haz, “yes you did yesterday only you took it from my bag at school” both of you now started arguing. Nikki and your mom burst into laughter after hearing it. That was the beginning of your love story.

 Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say "Yes"

 .........................................................

You loved to listen to songs as it helps to release your stress and this song of yours was very dear to you as it reminded you of some sweet memories. You were scrolling through the photographs that you had taken back when you were living in London together with the boys as you thought about that whole incident, your actual first kiss, you smiled and shook your head at the realization that you both had disappointed your mothers.

 You finally dialled Harrison's number he picked up instantly

 "Hey Y/N!"

 "Hello.. this is 911 what is your emergency?" You chuckled

 "You will never change will ya?"

 "That was the plan actually to never change"

 "Talking to you after a long time man missed your voice so much"

 "Me too Haz.. So how's everything going there?"

 "Yeah everything is fine here just wrapped up my new film."

 "Great!! How are the boys, Nikki and Dom?"

 "They are all fine. Harry is busy with his new film's plot, Sam as usual experimenting with new dishes."

 "An.. and how's he?" You hesitatedly asked

 "He's good too wrapped up Avengers 5 will be returning home tomorrow.

By the way congratulations for the success of your new album to be honest it's a badass album the lyrics are dope."

 You giggled.. "Thanks Haz"

 "So now are you free or still have any upcoming projects?"

 "I can never be free Haz I m always working, always thinking of lyrics for my next song. Leave all that, what was the emergency that you said to call so urgently?"

 "Ummm.. Y/N I want something from you."

"Anything for you Haz"

 "You have to promise me first Y/N that whatever I say you have to say yes"

 "When have I ever said you no anyways just tell me"

 "No! Y/N first promise me"

 "Uggh Okay Haz I promise now spit it out. Sometimes you really act childish." you rolled your eyes.

"I want you to come back home I mean back here at London I have planned a 10 days trip to Cornwall at my beach house which we all used to go every summer when we were kids it's a sort of reunion for the whole gang I have invited Z and Jacob too"

 "Haz you know I only go on Christmas every year to spend time with you guys because that is when I m free. And I'm pretty busy this month. I have a recording to be done next week for my upcoming single."

 "Y/N you promised you will not refuse me. I just want a little time from your busy life.”

 "But Haz…"

 "And also I'm gonna celebrate my 30th birthday there, your man is getting old love."

 "Umm... I don't know what to say Haz I'm confused"

 "If you're thinking about him I can assure you there will be no problem besides he is not single anymore so why worry?"

 That is the problem Haz you said in your mind.

 "Umm okay I'll give it a thought and let you know after confirming the availability of dates." You ended the call and fell back on your bed, your hands and legs spreading across the bed  like a starfish. You face palmed and groaned.

 You went into a deep thought, your brain still processing the whole conversation you had with Harrison. After a few minutes you heard your phone buzzing and you smiled as you looked to see who was calling. It was Zendaya, face timing you. You had seriously wished to talk to someone right now. You have very few close friends in the industry and Zendaya was one of them. You collaborated with her for your bad blood music video and you guys clicked instantly from that day you became really close. She was your 3am BFF and you both knew each other's darkest secrets. You picked up the call.

 "So Haz called you up didn't he?"

 "Bingo!! So what are you thinking?" Zendaya laughed

 "I don't know Z. I just feel scared. I know I have met him a couple of times during my Christmas visits after everything happened  but that was just a one day thing and this whole 10 day trip is freaking me out. I also don't want to disappoint Haz. I missed all of his birthdays for the past few years on purpose just to avoid Tom."

 " You are just over thinking babe everything will be fine and I will be there to cheer up your emotional ass. Besides as much as I know Tom is very chilled out he will not bother you."

 " I don't think so. He has a very cold attitude towards me even now whenever I go back home. "

 After you moved to NY you almost begged your parents to move here and stay with you but they were adamant of staying in London so once in a year you used to visit your family and friends during Christmas. The Christmas Dinner was always hosted by the Holland's after your break up you always panicked to go to their house. The first year when you went. The boys, Nikki, Dom welcomed you as if nothing had happened; they hugged you with joy. But when you went to give Tom a hug he just backed off and out of formality gave you a shoulder hug and you got your hint to stay away. He even brought his new girlfriend for the dinner which you thought he did on purpose to make you jealous or hurt you. And you were actually hurt at the thought that he really moved on so quickly. So you avoided family gatherings to prevent such awkward situations.

  "Babe your life doesn’t revolve around Tom he was a part of your life which is over. Start living your life. And we are in our early 30’s and still single don’t wanna die like that do you ??. Even if you want you can have your sweet little revenge by showing off that hot body on the beach and show that asshole what he missed." Z smirked.

 You quirked your eyebrows “So you're telling me to be a bitchy ex who doesn’t want to see her ex boyfriend happy”

 " Nooo!!! I didn’t mean that just show him how happy you are, that you are one of a kind, he will never find anyone like you in his life. We are gonna have a blast honey and you are coming so start packing."

 You had to finally give in with a deep sigh you said .."okay Z I ll go but if I jump off the cliff after all the mental stress I'm going to get in those 10 days you and Haz will be responsible for it." you laughed.

"Oh we won't want that. Besides you have handled more stressful moments than this you will be fine dramaqueen." Zendaya said.

 You talked to Alex about the whole trip to sort out the dates. He was a little sceptical at first about the whole reunion with ex trip , but he believed in you and gave you a nod for the trip. You informed the good news to Haz of your approval to the whole trip. Before you could leave for your unplanned vacation you had to finish recording and shooting for your new upcoming single featuring Breidon Urie.

 "I promise that you'll never find another like me

I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh

I know I never think before I jump

And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

And trouble's gonna follow where I go

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

But one of these things is not like the others

Like a rainbow with all of the colors

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e"..............

 The song was soon officially released by the music company and the audience loved it and your work was done for the moment and now you could focus on the trip. All of a sudden you were really feeling excited about the whole thing. You and Z were constantly texting each other to plan about the journey.

 The day arrived and you met Z at the airport. "So ready for the battle?" she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed "going on a battle would have been much easier compared to this I guess" but in your mind you were confident. Yes you had finally decided that you're ready to face Tom Holland to show him that you have also moved on. And to show him that he'll never find another like you.

 The nine hour flight was uneventful as both you and Z slept most of the time which proved that you both were in dire need of a vacation away from your hectic glamorous lives.

 It was around 5 ‘o’ clock in the morning in London when your plane landed. Both of you collected your check in luggages. Check out was hassle free as it was early morning with few people around and nobody recognised you as both of you were in your hoodies. As you came out of the exit door you started to look amongst the crowd and finally you saw those familiar icy blue eyes approaching towards you.

 “Ah!! Finally the star arrived” Harrison hugged you tight

“And all credit goes to you Z because our star has stopped listening to her best friend may be got someone else to replace me” he hugged zendaya and started laughing

“getting rid of you has been one of the failures of my life" you pouted

 "Ouch!" Harrison dramatically placed his hands on his chest as if hurt.

 "No one can ever replace you from my life you idiot" you lightly punched his arm.

 Harrison chuckled and said with a fake French accent "I m your chauffeur for the day, madame your car awaits at the parking lot."

 After you three put all your luggages in the car. Z and you sat at the back seat and Harrison sat on the driver's seat as he started the car. It was an approximate four hour ride to his beach house.

 " You know Haz I really missed the summer in London so glad I said yes to your plan."

 "The only thing I liked about London when I came for Spiderman:FFH shoot is the Harry Potter museum" Zendaya declared

 You noticed Harrison looked a little off today so you asked "you look a little bit stressed out Haz what's the matter bud?"

 "How do you read my mind so easily?" Harrison sighed.

 "I'm your best friend dumbo now tell me what is the thing that is bothering you so much?" you said with concern in your voice.

 "Okay I need to say you something, just don't be mad Tom will be bringing his fiancee too at the beach house. But don't worry everything will be fine I promise."

 Your face went expression less as you looked at Harrison then to Zendaya. You were starting to panic from inside. You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes as you leaned on Zendaya's shoulder. She rubbed your shoulder to comfort you as you thought in your mind "what a great start to this cursed trip."

..................................................................................

Taglists:If you want to be added send in an ask i will be happy to add you.

@sophs-library

#tom holland #tom holland series #tom holland × reader #tom holland imagines #haz osterfield #zendaya #taylor swift #tom holland fluff

[tomorrow-human]

MY THOUGHTS ON iDKHOW'S ALBUM DEBUT: RAZZMATAZZ

So I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME have just released RAZZMATAZZ today and heres what I think...

[SIDE A]

¹LEAVE ME ALONE:

A bombastic opening track. Was released in the beginning of August...? Probably? This song just SCREAMS at you with retro futuristic funkiness. It has 8-bity flourishes in the instrumentation and seems to be maybe talking to the same person as Choke (from 1981 E.P.) and the title track Razzmatazz have been (or maybe a separate entity as suggested by the vinyl booklet and Indoctoration?).

Anyway, fantastic track, great opener, and nice mood-setter.

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²INDOCTORATION:

It's... eerie. It's not a song in the same sense as Leave Me Alone, despite having a wobbly backing track. It's a spoken interlude that seems to be initiating you into Tellex maybe? It yet again mentions the White Shadows that will be overseeing your progress with Tellex. It seems oddly nostalgic for some reason. That's strange. Overall, solid little piece of lore building that really reinforces the concept aspects.

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³MAD IQs:

It's the first song from this album that wasn't released as a single and it made my jaw literally drop. It has a similar lyrical and vocal structure to the opener and New Invention, but what I like is how much they were able to do with it, though it makes you wonder about how far apart these songs were written; but In the context of the albums concept and the Tellex stuff however, it could be interpreted as a corporate decision, this repetition. The minimal instrumentation in the verses with Ryan's sturdy drumming and Dallon's bassline makes me go fucking bananas. It's so fucking great and full of this punchy energy. And the HARMONIES. YES. "Voluntary victim~" "I'm burning~ in your mad IQs" SIR STOP BEING SO VOCALLY TALENTED. Also I think i heard him shriek right before the bridge which? Snazzy. So Mad IQs, energetic track, filled with more of iDKHOWs signature darkness.

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⁴NOBODY LIKE THE OPENING BAND:

Ah yes, Opening Band. Ironic considering how often iDKHOW are the opening band, but I'm sure that's obvious, seeing how they usually sing this one at the start of their gigs. It was actually (I think) the first or second song I didn't know how but found through youtube so I might be pretty biased here. It's a sweet sounding change of pace with the instrumentation being made up of only the piano and tambourine that tells of a typical opening band, that no ones ever heard before and likely will never hear again, via a sympathetic narrator with a hint of the typical iDKHOW teasing. In all honesty, it would've worked better as the album opener, which then could've been followed by Leave Me Alone, but it's a nice change of pace overall.

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⁵NEW INVENTION:

I already reviewed this song on my other blog right here so imma keep this brief. It shares similar aspects to Leave Me Alone, with the music video concept and song structure, but It manages to darken the narrative, and the choir-esq harmonies sound like ultra bright neon lights that only push this mood further. It still is a magnificent song and by far one of my favourites in the album.

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⁶IN THE GALLOWS:

MASSIVE SHIFT IN STYLE HOLY FUCKOLY-. The track opens with a very cutesy old timey little piano intro and starts the verse with a little funny beat. If you don't listen to the lyrics, it sounds like a silly little oldie song. But as we all know, iDKHOW doesn't do silly. The lines "For you, I'd die▪︎Or kill myself▪︎which ever makes you smile," From just the first verse are a prime example of this. The narrators murderous and suicidal intentions have clouded the romantic attraction into obsession- And I kinda like that, in a poetic way. The chorus is a standout, with the calm start to the explosion in the line "I'd swing from the gallows and wave" that just swings at you with a baseball bat to the chest. Oh, and the sax solo? Magnificent. This whole song is a chefs kiss from me.

<><><><>

⁷CLUSTERHUG:

I love the lyrics of this song the most of it all. It sounds like a rebellious teenager wrote it after thinking about how shit their hometown is and wanting to get out. It also incorporates how much the narrator would want to do all this with their crush, adding that slightly goofy and pretend-aloof chorus of "only if you'd like me to I could fall in love with you" as if they weren't already in love or at least that's how I see it. The vibe of this song is more pop-y than the rest of the album, but that's more likely because it was repurposed for Razzmatazz after being originally written for The Brobecks, their older band. It's a nice little tune :).

[SIDE B]

⁸SUGAR PILLS:

This. Will. Get. Stuck. In. Your. Head- and. You. Will. Like. It. Basically, just seems like a song about drugs that, for some reason, reminds me of Gorillaz (who I dont even listen to). But the BASSLINE AGAIN- Jesus help me live. It has more of that energy we saw with the first few tracks and adds even more electronic elements. It's probably my second favourite song from this album that's not a single because of how fun the chorus sounds. What else can I say? I can just imagine myself bopping to this in the car screaming 'SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR PILLS' On a hot day.

<><><><>

⁹KISS GOODNIGHT:

It's so sweet 🥺. It's one of those songs I could imagine a character in a movie singing to someone from a stage. If you want pretty song vibes just listen to it. Because it is a pretty song. And that's all I have to say on it. Now allow me to take a moment and shove it into my pretty song playlist that acts like my personal lullaby machine.

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¹⁰LIGHTS GO DOWN:

Yes. F u n k y. Give me that sweet sweet disco energy, thank you. It's just filled with all these *☆~blingy and sparkly~☆* effects, and, combined with the drumming, the result is just glorious. The best part of this song is in my opinion the bridge where it goes darker lyrically and in sound that just naturally slides into another funky-ass sax solo. I can definitely see myself dancing to this at a party and then in later years growing nostalgic for those days.

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¹¹NEED YOU HERE:

It's supposed to be happy in tone and hopeful slightly but it just makes me sad. It's a song about how, because Dallon has to tour because it's his job, he has to be away from his family often. And he had nO RIGHT ADDING HIS DAUGHTERS VOCALS AND RECORDINGS INTO THE MIX ITS LIKE HE WANTS US TO CRY. It's not my favourite of the album, not going to lie here, but it's also such a sweet song with nice instrumentals and vibe 🥺 so that's all I'll say.

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¹²DOOR:

It seems like this one was written around the time sad ukulele music was really at its peak but am I complaining? Fuck no because this song is great. It just gives it to you straight, that if the narrator ever does anything that the recipient doesn't like, they can always cut them out of their life. It's nice in that regard- you don't usually get songs that don't try to deflect the pain or gain pity. We need more of these kinds of songs. The shortness of it really adds to the effect of this being more like a regularly said thing, even though I'm always a bit sad that it ends so fast. It does, however, nicely close the near end of the album before Razzmatazz.

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¹³TOMORROW PEOPLE:

Creepy Tellex thank-you note. You're welcome..? I want no part in your conspiracy tho. Go away weird American corporate man voice.

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¹³RAZZMATAZZ:

And there it is. The title track. Like new inventions, I have already reviewed it here on that same blog so this will be brief also and more just thoughts. It's a great closer and is more old timey than most of the songs here as well. And with the last instrumental and sax solo, we come to the albums inevitable end... until next time.

[GENERAL THOUGHTS]

Overall, this was a fantastic little debut for iDKHOW and I loved it. So worth the pre-order. The songs were great and the lyrics were just excellent. My only real criticism is that the song order on Side A was a bit strange. I feel a way to fix this would be to throw Nobody Likes The Opening Band into the beginning, then have Leave Me Alone as a second track, and maybe even switch one of the songs on this side with one from Side B (either Mad IQs or New Invention with something else but then that would be kind of stretching it). Or maybe even switching Clusterhug with Mad IQs or New Invention could work. So in general? Razzmatazz good album. Next question.

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Thank you for reading, anyone who happens to see this and have read this. Hope you've enjoyed some of my thoughts on the debut and agreed with at least 2 points I made. See y'all on another review (or shitpost)!

-L.J

#idkhow #i dont know how but they found me #idkhbtfm #the i dont knows #dallon weekes #ryan seaman #lenas opinions #razzmatazz

[aplateoflasagna]

Watched TREASURE's 1st Private stage on Saturday so here's a way too long post about it! 😅

I have to admit I had mixed feelings before the livestream started... On the one hand I thought the music would be too loud and we wouldn't be able to hear the boys sing. On the other hand I thought, maybe we would hear them clearly but they wouldn't live up to my expectations...

YG artists raised my standards to an impossible level and I was scared they wouldn't be able to meet them. Except for YGTB, we haven't really heard Treasure's clear live vocals before. Music shows and Award shows always have such a loud backtrack, so I was a bit worried 😶 But honestly? I really shoudn't have been. They sounded great and way better than I dared to hope 💙

Breaking down each member their performance!

Hyunsuk: King of hyping up the crowd!! 👑 It honestly broke my heart that all teume could do was clap, because they weren't allowed to cheer 😭 Really hoping the spoiler at the end meant that they will have an actual concert soon so that Hyunsuk can hear Teume scream. He had many iconic lines in this though!! Some of my favs: DROP THE BEAT!/ THIS HAS BEEN TREASURE!/ LETS GET PUMPED UP!/ 7CHILL GO!/LETS DO IT NOW!

Jihoon: His voice is so sweet!! Jihoon's high notes are to die for srsly 🥰 Also his perfect MC skills! The boys were all nervous during the talking parts of the show but Jihoon saved us from awkward silences with his quick wit and humour! Fav moments: Jihoon thinking they had to translate 'I Love You' instead of 'Hello' and him saying 'Aishiteru' so he had to do aegyo for the audience 🙈 He looked ready to kill the members who suggested it haha + Jihoon and Haruto's conversation during 'Letters from the future'

Jihoon: It's now 7 years later... I heard your collaberation song with Travis Scott. It sounds great! Yeah... I collaberated with 'The Weeknd', It just came out. Listen to it and tell me what you think!

Haruto: *Dying of laughter but trying to keep it together* 😂

Yoshi: Yoshi can do no wrong in my eyes, he is always giving his all eventhough he was so nervous 😅 His mic was shaking in the beginning!! i felt so bad for him haha. Yoshi is so stable rapping while dancing though, he has all my respect! I remember dancer Jeff Avenue saying that the dance move before Yoshi's rap part in MMM Rock Version is so difficult to do well live and Yoshi absolutely nailed it!

Junkyu: He was definitely having the most fun on stage 😄 + the fancam of Junkyu being overwhelmed by Teume's surprise during 'Slowmotion' ❤ He was a bit out of breath though and didn't sound very clear :( Junkyu has been called YG's ACE during Mixnine + was the most popular contestant of YGTB + def one of the best during that era... Kind of want a solo cover from him on stage so I can hear his beautiful voice again 💙

Mashiho: Is there anything he can't do? I know this is like a running gag in the fandom but srsly why is Mashi great at everything he does?? I'm so looking forward to see him on stage more often because damn, it's just where Mashiho belongs (+ unrelated, I need YG to release 'Fantasy' 🙏)

Jaehyuk: Forever proud of Jaehyuk. Let's be real, he has the weakest vocal in Treasure and when they opened the stage with 'Going crazy', Jaehyuk kind of fucked up his line. I was worried he wouldn't be able sing well but I shouldn't have worried because the rest of the show he did great! Jaehyuk has worked so hard to be deserving of Teume's love and honestly his improvement always astounishes me 😘 The thing that makes me sad though is that Jaehyuk has a habit of looking down while performing :(

Asahi: I'll never get tired of his visual 💛 Asahi is so fucking pretty holy shit haha. I shouldn't have been surprised but he seemed a bit timid on stage. He started to relax towards the end though! I really wonder what Asahi will be like during an actual concert with more interaction from Teume... A few fav moments: Asahi and Yedam shouting eachothers name when 'Everyday' started playing + His conversation with Doyoung during 'letters from the future'.

Doyoung: You once told me you wanted a music studio in Korea, Japan and Paris. It's 10 years after our debut and you're living in Paris. I never see you anymore! Please come back to Korea

Asahi: 9 years from now right? I'll give you one of my songs

Other members: OOOOHHHHH FLEX!! 😂

Yedam: He was God Yedam as always ❤ I'll never get tired of his voice and he deserves like 10 solo albums. I was wondering if Yedamie ever gets tired of only being complemented on his voice and nothing else eventhough he's such an allrounder!! His dancing and his stage presence was top notch again 🥰

Doyoung: YG has a few artists where their actual voice sounds autotuned like Yoon and VIINI, but I think we need to add Doyoung to the list 😅 His voice isn't that strong but honestly doesn't get enough credit for being that unique vocal sound that YG loves so much. I got a newfound appreciation for his voice (it def helps that he got such large singing parts during 'Everyday'. Thank you Yedamie!)

Haruto: King of hyping up the crowd pt 2! 👑 His addlibs and deep ass voice were 💯 The best part was def Haruto shouting 'Saranghae' before Mashi's part in ILY 😄 Haruto's agressive rapping was a bit too much for BOY imo, but it was fantastic for MMM rock version! (it made me think of Jennie yelling her rap lines during concerts and I freaking love that so maybe I just have to get used to it???) But then again, people loved his part in BOY so I guess I'm wrong lol

Jeongwoo: Ugly citizen who??? Jeongwoo has grown up fine and I hope he knows that. He'll do amazing things in the future i'm sure! His voice is so beautiful and I really really want a Jeongwoo x Haruto stage again. That duo is truly unmatched in visuals and vocals! Please YG 🙏 We need to see their amazing chemistry live

Junghwan: Our maknae did it again, stealing my heart with little to no effort 😭 He oozes charisma on stage. His voice is so good aswell. If you compare his lines in 'Going Crazy' from 1.5 years ago to now the difference is wild. I love his deeper voice! I think Mashi said it best: "Our Junghwan, cool but still very cute!"

Random favourite parts of the private stage:

I love the game they played where they had to sing BOY and 'Going Crazy' with only 2 mics while still doing the choreo haha I'm sure they practiced beforehand but it was very fun and I had the biggest smile on my face 😄

Also Hyunsuk saying that they'll have a comeback before the end of the year 😭 Teume been knew that the new song will have to do with space and the moon 🌕🌙 I honestly thought it was wishful thinking before but no, Teume aren't always clowns 😂 They have literally been saying it since their debut teaser omg

+ I feel like people were so overwhelmed by the concert portion of the stage that we kind of overlooked that they gave pretty strong hints to their next comeback song being called 'Rendez-vous'????

Rendez-Vous

Truly a win for French speaking Teume

TLDR: I loved the Private Stage and I can't wait for their first actual concert 😭 Ofcourse there is room for improvement but they all did so well and I'm so proud of them 💎

#TREASURE #first private stage #i honestly liked it better than BP online concert in december but that's just because this stage had an actual audience #Loved the way it was filmed as well! #staff truly did the most #also recorded the stage eventhough they said not to #sorry not sorry #I just wanted to be able to rewatch it whenever i wanted #lastly i really hope they'll post that one picture Asahi took at MAMA

[youspoketome]

My Favorite Albums of 2018

I tried something new this year. All year long, every time I bought a new album I added it to a note on my phone as a list so that I could adjust the order as needed. Some things settled into their order quickly, but a couple spots went down to the wire. Embarrassingly, I was just looking at my 2015 list and six albums on that list were the previous albums by six of the bands on this list, and one was a solo album by the singer of a seventh band listed here. I'm not quite sure what that means in the grand scheme of things. And that seems like a long enough introduction, so here we go!

Murder By Death - THE OTHER SHORE

Honestly, I thought Murder By Death was finished having albums on top of my best of lists. I had been so disappointed in GOOD MORNING, MAGPIE. That album had like two good songs, but the rest was at best forgettable filler and at worst sounded like a parody of themselves. The two albums since then had definitely been better, but still not at the levels of their earlier albums. Enter THE OTHER SHORE: an incredible return to the long form concept album following a story of love and dying planets in a western in space. It's full of catchy hooks without ever being clichè, small character moments and big, world-ending finishes. Best of all, it's got ripping 2-minute long cello solos. This is peak Murder By Death right here.

mewithoutYou - [UNTITLED]

mewithoutYou is another band I've loved for years, but thought was coming off of a weaker album. I enjoyed PALE HORSES (it made my top ten list the year it came out), but it didn't have anything that really grabbed me and made it a necessary part of the mwY canon. [UNTITLED] immediately feels important. It's not the most easily accessable album, but when have mewithoutYou ever been accessable? This is an album that has layers that you can appreciate as you dig down to them on further listens. Over the years mwY's sound has evolved from the heavier hollerin' of [A->B] LIFE and CATCH FOR US THE FOXES to the completely clean and folky IT'S ALL CRAZY... and back again. [UNTITLED] really blends things together by taking the heaviness from early albums and adding them in for flavor rather than building the songs around them, giving the songs depth and intensity. For my money, it's their best album since BROTHER, SISTER. Still waiting on that album/EP collector's edition to ship though, so no pictures.

Gregory Alan Isakov - EVENING MACHINES

I've enjoyed Gregory Alan Isakov's previous albums of folky songs fit for sitting on the front porch at your farm while reading an old book, but whenever I'd see him live my favorite song was always the non-album track "Liars" and I'd always wish he'd record it. That song seemed darker than anything else he'd written and had this slow build to an epic climax that almost gave you chills. He finally did record it on his studio album with the Colorado Symphony in 2016 and then he followed that up with his most eclectic album yet. From the soft and haunting opener "Berth," all the way to the end, EVENING MACHINES expands on what Isakov is willing to do, keeping that same welcoming, mellow feel, but getting there in new ways and with new instruments. "Caves" captures that darkness "Liars" had in a way that is wholly satisfying to me. It feels like he wrote the album I didn't even realize I had been wanting him to write all along.

Emery - EVE

I've always enjoyed Emery, but it wasn't until their last album YOU WERE NEVER ALONE when they broke the album down song by song on a behind the scenes podcast that I fully appreciated them as musicians. Unlike a lot of bands that came out at the same time in the same genre, Emery is a band with multiple members who have actually studied how music works and can point out and name every single time signature and key change in every song. Now with EVE, I've been able to listen to the little details, noticing and appreciating the attention they give to every little part of each song. The way they don't add the screamed vocal at this part of the song because that seems to obvious, so they save it for when it'll be more striking. How they add the harmonies and layer the vocals. Some bands with that kind of background forget how to write a catchy song or what makes a song enjoyable to listen to, but Emery has this ability to perfectly blend this crazy musicianship with honest, straight from the gut songwriting. The end result is an album full of fantastic songs with awesome little parts and details that make it special and stand out.

Thrice - PALMS

For me (and a lot of people, I think) Thrice and Thursday have always been kind of linked. I discovered them at the same time, both on their second albums. They were post-hardcore bands, similar enough sounding to compare to each other and they both started experimenting with their sound on their fourth albums. Then they both announced they were breaking up within a day of each other. The weird thing is when I first discovered them, I preferred Thursday hands down. Then they both released their third albums and cemented my opinions of them, so much so that I decided not to buy Thrice's fourth album when it came out. Man, that was a huge mistake. That fourth album, VHEISSU was the album when Thrice hit their stride, expanding and exploring their sound with each release since then. Each of their post-reunion albums have continued this trend and PALMS might be their best full album yet.

Frank Turner - BE MORE KIND

To be honest, I'm surprised this album is this far down. If you had me rank my expected best albums of the year list at the beginning of the year, Frank Turner with have been number one with a bullet. But BE MORE KIND was not the album I was expecting, and I was a little let down by it. That I'm saying that my number 6 album of the year was a bit of a let down should tell you how highly I think of Frank Turner. It starts off strong with the mellow opener of "Don't Worry" followed by a full on banger in "1933." But the third track "Little Changes" just didn't hit for me. It seemed like Frank Turner dumbed down for the masses. And it's not that it's too poppy; I enjoy myself a good pop song. It's just that the songwriting seems so simple. There are a number of really good songs throughout the rest of the album (like "Blackout"), but the overarching feel for me is that it's too simplistic, there's no depth to any of the songwriting. All that said, it's hard to rag too much on it because how can you bash an album that's sole message is to be kind and positive and to treat other people decently? Maybe it's that message that made him lose his teeth. In summation, I like Frank Turner a lot, even when he's disappointing me.

Smoking Popes - INTO THE AGONY

INTO THE AGONY is the Smoking Popes first album in seven years. They were putting out albums more frequently than that while they were broken up! After being broken up from 1999-2005, the Popes returned with STAY DOWN, which was not the strongest album to come back on. It was mostly a downer and ended up being completely forgettable for me. This time, upon returning from a seven year album cycle with new album they've knocked it out of the park. It's upbeat and catchy, it's slow and meaningful, it features Josh Caterer's soaring vocals, and it's another fantastic entry into the catalog.

Death Cab For Cutie - THANK YOU FOR TODAY

I think Death Cab's existence as a band is better broken up into stages. You've got the pre-TRANSATLANTICISM era, the TRANS/PLANS era, NARROW/CODES, and now KINTSUGI/THANK YOU. TRANS/PLANS is my favorite era. It's where I discovered Death Cab, it's where I spend the most time with them, it's just the best. But after a bit of a dip there for a couple albums (not saying they were bad, it was just a dip), I felt like KINTSUGI was a step back up, and now THANK YOU FOR TODAY continues in the same vein. It's a more electronic/synthy sound than previous eras, which sets it apart from their highest peaks, so you're not just constantly comparing it to something they'll probably never reattain. I really enjoy where this era is taking them.

Alkaline Trio - IS THIS THING CURSED?

This past summer I decided to give Alkaline Trio's AGONY & IRONY a listen for the first time in I don't know how long. Everyone agrees Alkaline Trio used to be good and then got less good, and I agree, but that specific album was for me the low point, mostly because of "Love Love Kiss Kiss." But then this weird thing happened: I really enjoyed it. Even that song, which is still doofy, wasn't as bad as I remembered. I was so bummed out about it at the time, but that album has some really good songs on it. Even at their lowest point, I still really like Alkaline Trio. IS THIS THING CURSED? is a new Alkaline Trio album. It's got Matt songs, it's got Dan songs, it's got one Dan song that kind of too doofy (Little Help?), it strangely has multiple song titles that end in question marks, and it has an acoustic closer featuring Matt's scratchy-voiced wailing. This is another solid Alkaline Trio album.

The Decemberists - I'LL BE YOUR GIRL

Every year at the same time, all of the baseball websites post their top prospects lists, where they rank the upcoming minor league players in all of baseball or on each team individually, so people can get excited about the next wave of baseball All-Stars. In almost all of these lists you've got your top five or six guys who are clearly the best players in that team's minor league system in that order, but then at about number seven they kind of become interchangeable for a while. You could switch prospect #8 with #12 and no one would cause too much of a ruckus because they're all pretty similar at that point. We've reached that point in my best albums list (really, we reached that point with Alkaline Trio). These final couple spots could have also gone to 6666 by Four Fists, 9 by Saves The Day, KIDS SEE GHOSTS, or if I was in the right mood, even the new MXPX or the Matthew Thiessen solo album. What pushed I'LL BE YOUR GIRL across the line was (a) my wife's incredulousness at my mentioning it might not make the cut and (b) the fact that "Once In My Life" and "Everything Is Awful" have full-on been our anthem songs this past month. This is the Decemberists doing what they do. Folky songs about sea monsters, horse gallop rhythms, and cowboy sing-alongs. Throw in some synth lines to keep things fresh and baby, you've got a stew going.

[cosettepontmercys]

Hi! I'm sorry you're still not feeling well. It seems like it really sucks I hope you were still able to have a good and fun weekend with your friend though! I hope the new medication helped as well but from your latest update, it seems like it didn't. Aww I really hope you feel better before your birthday and the holidays coming up. I've never had black forest cake I don't think..or is that the one with cherry filling in the middle? If it is, then I have and I think it's yummy too. I do love Oreo cake, vanilla, and just plain chocolate or double chocolate. But I have a lot of favorite desserts too..but it's mostly brownies and cookies. I like chocolate chip and double chocolate and ice cream but I don't love it when it's cold. I've never had tiramisu I don't think though.

I want need to be released too but mostly just cuz all of the girls was already released so I hope it is and it is like False God. I think cuz it sounds so different from any Taylor song to me. When I first heard it, I think it sounded more like a Selena Gomez song..maybe in the verses more than Taylor..but I do love how Taylor shows her vocals in the song and I do know other people love it a lot. The only thing about that is then it would be technically the last rerecording to be released and idk if it should end with that but I do see how it kinda works. Unless she puts out an eras rerecording doc or something as a thank you for the tour, then it would be the next best thing. I do still like to play it around Christmas sometimes. She also has a show on her birthday next year so that's exciting enough too.

Haha wow. I actually listen to something new like everyday so I could never get burnt out on new music haha. Basically my sister has a long drive everyday so we pick a new album to listen to everyday and kinda have a theme for each week based on genres. That's how I discover so much new music and we add a few songs to a big hours long playlist all year and play it near the end of the year haha and then we will pick our favorites. Obviously if it's an artist I really like, I play their albums for at least a week. I also play a lot of recommended radio so that's how I find new artists too. So what's your top artists and songs for Spotify wrapped since it came out? I think there's an equivalent with apple music if you use that. But I'm so excited to know and I will add anything you recommend to my list. I wasn't really surprised..obviously Taylor was my top artist lol but I feel like it also matters how long an album is and for top songs it's how much a certain song will play on your recommended radio and if you let it play. Oh I forgot about those but will listen eventually of course..along with the fruitcake EP soon.

As for books, I'll have to work on my list and I can tell you what I'll be reading more specifically later. Sorry it's just not something I'm focused on right now but I did find a few more books to add to my list recently so idk and I'm always looking for new recommendations too so I'll look at your post whenever its updated. Oh that's so cool and exciting. I've recently getting more educated on the publishing world which sounds exhausting so that's actually pretty cool. I honestly haven't read Hunger Games in a long time but that sounds like a pretty good plan if you get to it.

Oh I like her music but I'm not sure she would fit as Eurydice..cuz her voice is too soft almost? Thanks for the link! I will go thru it later and give my full opinion. Oh I mentioned a doc about the rerecordings earlier but would absolutely love this too! Beyonce had a little bit of this in her movie which I thought was really cool and made it different than eras. She would talk for a few minutes about something that would kinda lead into the next song so the transitions were pretty smooth and didn't distract from the show. Also it's always very cool to see her talking and share stuff from her personal life which we don't get to see as much. I'm pretty sure she didn't cut anything either which was impressive! I couldn't help comparing it to Eras but more so in a fun way cuz I love both of them and you can really see how much artistry and care they put in the work and that's a really cool thing to see. Taylor also supported Beyonce at her premiere just like how Beyonce did for her and I loved her dress so much..it was really on theme haha. I also paid attention to the sets and it's something I have to pay more attention to in the eras movie again. Another cool thing Beyonce's movie did was show all the different outfits she would wear for a certain song and I kinda wish eras movie did that now lol. Also Beyonce showed all her special guest performances in her movie too. It was kinda cool cuz it was almost set up in eras too but in a different way I guess cuz it wasn't by era..but she did start from the beginning of her career and mixed in a few songs. Also her opening songs started out slower in the show but I think that's pretty typical of Beyonce..like she gets more energetic as the show goes on. She also did not sing a song from every album..there was nothing from Lemonade but that's also a personal album for her or maybe didn't fit this show. But she sang every song from Renaissance and somehow made them work in the order of the album...and she even included the performance of songs she only sang at a few shows. I think seeing it was fun too cuz I didn't know the full show as well as eras even if I saw a few clips online and having it professionally recorded helps a lot too. Even if you don't love her music, it's definitely worth a watch at some point.

I do think it was cool of her to sing it for the end of the year and cuz there's a bit of a break on tour and I agree with how it makes her feel. I just think the chorus could be better cuz she repeats the same lyrics or used thing more than once and I don't love the melody but some people love it. Its just there to me and some songs are just like that I guess. I feel similarly about Illicit Affairs but I like it on tour and maybe even Off the top of my head, the first two opening nights had the best songs! Mirrorball and Tim McGraw and State of Grace and This is me trying but i would probably pick night two. Another one would be the eras movie pick or I Can See You and I think Maroon? Also Getaway Car and Maroon! I got pretty lucky with Right where you Left Me and Castles Crumbling too!!! I liked yours too! What about you?

Aside from seeing the Renaissance movie, I also got a haircut after a long time which was nice. I will probably also be busy for the next few weeks just letting you know. The end of the year is always stressful to me so I'm sorry if I don't reply as much. I hope your weekend with your friend was still fun! Happy Monday and I hope you have a great week!!! 🩷

hi friend!! it was one of the best weekends ever, i think — just something that i very much needed + very good for my soul, but i am very tired and just quite sad now! long distance friendships are so so hard :( i've mostly been feeling a bit better aside from my voice which just does not want to return to me for some reason!! but that's okay — the good news, is that it gives me an excuse to not be super super social at the work party on wednesday (which i'm lowkey dreading haha).

and yes! black forest cake is the one with cherry in the middle — i don't really like cherry, but i do loveeee black forest cake for some reason! i am not a huge fan of super sweet sweets (and often, brownies are too sweet for my taste) but one of my friends has been talking to me about brownies all week and now i really really want one. i think i'm going to try to get one on wednesday when i go to my work party as a pre-party treat, actually! tiramisu is delicious — if you like coffee (i don't know if you do, actually — i don't think we've talked about coffee! do you like coffee? what's your coffee order?) which i do!

i would love love love more BTS for eras and the rerecordings! i just think all of that is so interesting, i want to know about the costumes + the thought behind the dive, the choreography, why the piano is painted with those flowers, why debut was cut from the setlist :(, whose idea it was for those very specific visuals, etc. i just want to know everything!

there is an apple music equivalent — it's called apple replay! my top 5 artists were: the 1975, taylor, holly humberstone, maisie, and sabrina carpenter — but replay also gives you your top 15, so here are the rest of them: inhaler, gracie abrams, the japanese house, noah kahan, beabadoobee, del water gap, olivia rodrigo, lizzy mcalpine, haim and charli xcx! and my most listened to songs are: oh caroline, happiness, if you're too shy (let me know), lost the breakup, body better, me & you together song, you're just a boy (and i'm kinda the man), the good witch, about you, i'm in love with you, pressure, menswear, scarlett, heart out and the sound! which is so funny because i don't even remember listening to a good half of these that much (probably in the first half of the year). my most listened to albums were: the good witch, emails i can't send fwd, notes on a conditional form, the good witch (deluxe), speak now (taylor's version), paint my bedroom black, reputation, barbie the album, the 1975 (deluxe), guts, cuts & bruises, i like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, good riddance, in the end it always does and midnights (3 am edition)!

and you don't need to apologize — just know i'm excited for your favorites when you have them! i will try to figure out my list as well! and ahhh, the renaissance film sounds so so good! i'm excited to watch it when i get a chance to 🤍

and yeah, i have a really hard time picturing her as eurydice! but i think she'd be a great girl in once, if she ever did that!

tied together with a smile was my favoriteeeee. it just means so much to me as a song, and i'm so so glad i got to hear it! honestly i really lucked out with my songs — and i think everyone that i went with was really happy (my friend bailey loves ttwas too, my friend mansi got a reputation song night 1 — this is why we can't have nice things, etc.)! just very special! very lovely evening. i'd loveeee to hear mirrorball, or anything debut though. i'm really just manifesting something from debut for my mom :")

and no worries about replying either!! 🤍 take your time, i know you're busy + things are goin on! happy monday + hope you have a good rest of the year friend!!

#post: answered #🩷 anon