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wintabite · 2 days

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why don't you care?

GENRE! angst

NOTES! gn!reader, riki and reader r in school

SYNOPSIS! riki has a hard time expressing his emotions, which makes him come across as careless in your relationship

another day passed without any texts from riki. it seems like nowadays, it's only you who's texting first, only you who's initiating any interaction. it's especially annoying having to walk to riki's house constantly just to see him, because he won't walk to yours. it was another one of those times, you stood at his door, knocking three times. the door unlocked, then slowly opened. riki seemed a bit surprised to see you, his hair was a bit messy, he looked tired.

"y/n! shit, did i not answer your message again?" he looked at you with apologetic eyes.

"mhm.." you hummed, nodding.

"my bad.. school and my new part time job have been taking over my life. wanna come in? i'm almost done my proje-"

"i don't want to, ki, it's fine. i just wanted to tell you in person that i miss you." you cut him off, your emotions slowly spilling out of your mouth. the words hit him with a wave of guilt.

"we can hangout? we can get food?" he tried to come up with something you'd want to do, he really wanted to make up for the time he didn't spend with you, and he wanted to cheer you up because you were visibly upset.

"keep yourself busy when i'm not there, like you do now, please. i don't want to make you sad, but i can't do this anymore." tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill, the same for riki.

"no, please y/n, please, i'm sorry!" he placed his hands on your shoulders gently, as if that could really push his message across to you.

"you never even said you loved me." the feeling of his touch was something you'd craved, and also something you'd miss.

"well, i do," he paused, tears of guilt, regret, and fear spilling from his eyes "i love you more than i ever thought i could. i didn't even know what love was until i met you." this was the most affectionate thing riki had ever said to you.

"you rarely hangout with me in school anymore too." at this point you had to look down at the ground, because if you looked at his face, you'd cry too.

"i suck, and i don't deserve you, but i really need you, y/n. can i please show you that i can be better, please?" he pleaded, which made you really consider it. after a few seconds of thought, you finally decided.

"don't do this again, my love, okay?" that's all you could manage before he stepped out of the house fully to engulf you in a hug, pushing your face into his chest, where you cried silently. he felt an immense amount of gratefulness for you in that moment, all of your memories rushed through his mind, which reminded him that he should cherish the important things in his life.

a/n: jahahahhahdhahdhah angst. in nyc rn :D

#enhypen #enhypen niki #enhypen riki #niki x reader #nishimura riki #riki x reader #angst #enhypen angst #riki angst

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ourhouseishaunted · 5 hours

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people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

#.txt #dungeon meshi #laios #like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time #with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell #<- source: im autistic #but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it #intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick #or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away #like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally #driven people away #and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people #is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it)#on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me #and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them #and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong #to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else #but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out #of their way to remove nuance from characters :/

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ysrjune · 17 hours

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(i feel like i need to let you guys know that I HAVE to listen to the song on repeat 4 a few times to really get me going for this fic 😔)

also i know the ending kinda sucks Im SORRY

Into You ✦

Sam had texted you to dress nicely since he was taking you to a nice restaurant. It's so sweet of him to do this even though you forced him out of your life for 6 years.

Luckily, you had packed a few nice dresses in case something special came up. This was definitely something special. The color of the dress was plain but had a cute pattern all over it. You did your hair in whatever way you thought looked the best and added a few other details like rings, earrings, and a necklace after finishing your makeup.

To top it all off, you sprayed your favorite perfume, and you were done getting ready. You had a couple of minutes to wait until Sam came by to pick you up. You spent that short amount of time talking pictures and becoming a little nervous about how this is gonna go.

Your mom came knocking at your door, smiling. “He’s here,” She entered, admiring how beautiful her little girl looked. “You look so gorgeous, my love.” A tear nearly fell from her eye. You smile softly to her and give her a gentle hug. “Thank you, mom. I'll see you later.”

You went outside to find Sam with a bouquet of flowers. “Looks like someone really outdid herself on the whole look, huh?” He huffed a chuckle, totally checking you out. “You're the one who told me to dress nice.” You say with a twirl while walking over to him so he could see the whole outfit.

“Well, you listened.” Sam smiled down at you and passed over the flowers. “Oh, Sam. I love th—”, “ah-ah. they're for your mom.” He cut you off, making you look to the side, then back to him with confusion. “Um, what?” You asked before he shook his head with a laugh. “Just messin’ with you, n/n.” Oh, so you leave for a few years and all of a sudden he thinks hes a comedian..

“Come on, let's go.” He reached his arm around you, leading to his car. This is so weird.. Sam has never been the type to be so touchy, talkative, or confident. He really was like a new person.

The car ride was anything but quiet and awkward. He started all the conversations, as well as kept them going. “A year after you left, I realized how big of a loser I was. Weird, too.” He cringed at the memory of how he used to be. “I was so pale, too. I genuinely looked so unwell. So, I decided to go out more to get tanned.”

He had worked in construction for a while so he could have more color to his skin, and it worked really well. He also told you about how he started working out to not be scrawny. The brown hair with blondish tints was actually because he didn't like the black and blue anymore. Eye makeup? How child like.

Listening to the reasons why he changed was different than you expected. Way different.

Dinner went well. You told him about your studies and life after graduating. Sam made sure to pay attention at all times. You also learned that your cousin wasn't lying about so many girls liking him. “I went out with a few, had sex with one, and regretted it. They didn't like me for who I am. They just liked me cause I stopped being so emo.” He laughed at it.

“Did you like them for who they were?” He rolled his eyes at your question. “Well, duh. I don't go out with girls just cause they're cute. All those girls I dated, I got to really know before, and it's not like I went out with all the ones who wanted me.” He sips his drink, “Some of them were skanks, and I didn't wanna catch anything. And some of them were just.. not good at all, yknow? Cant believe some girls think being rude is flirting.”

“Did you start looking more for personality than looks after Alyssa?” You crack a joke, hoping that he doesn't take it the wrong way. “Yep. Most definitely.” He replied with that charming smile.

Dinner was mostly catching up. After paying, he took you to his house. Lets just say one thing led to another, and you were arguing about how you just up and left like that.

“You promised! You promised that you'd call and visit, but you lied! If you wanted me to disappear from your life, you could have fucking said that!” He sort of shouted. “Sam, I didn't want to erase you from my life. I just wanted to live a little!”

“That doesn't make any sense. You probably just didn't care about me anymore after meeting new people. Look, its fucked up, but you can say it if you want. After all, it shouldn't matter anymore cause you're here now, right?” He says sarcastically.

“I waited for you to call me for 6 years! almost a whols decade, y/n!” He crossed his arms. “I don't know if it ever occurred to you that the phone works both ways, Sam.” You yell at him.

“No, dont pull that shit on me because I did call. I tried, but you know what? You changed your god damn number.” He sounded so mad and frustrated. “Do not play with me right now. Just say it already.”

“Okay! I stopped caring! Im sorry, Sam. That was stupid of me. I was like, your only friend. I know!” You replied and put yourself on his arms for a hug. As much as he wanted to push away, he wasnt like that. At least he wasn't gonna be like that after you apologized.

he sighed, arms wrapping around you and chin resting on your shoulder. “I know you're sorry. At least you're here now.” His big hands slide up and down your back. “Missed you so much.”

You sniffled into his chest and mumbled out the same. “Let me tell you something.” He says and sits you on the couch. “If I wasn't in love with you, I wouldn't have cared thaf you left. I was so used to people leaving already, so it wouldn't have mattered. but you had me so head over heels. that's the biggest reason I was mad.”

You sort of knew he had a little crush on you, but in love? “You're lying.” He shook his head. “Why would I lie?” Fuck, thats true. “To get back at me, maybe.” You sigh. “Sam, im gonna be honest, I never had a whole crush on you, but I did think about us being a couple sometimes. When you were with Alyssa, I was thinking about how I could treat you so much better.”

“Then why didn't you? I would have said yes. Didn't you realize how often I'd rather spend time with you than her? I wanted it to be you.” He spoke softly, tangling yours and his fingers together. “I've never gotten over you. I look for you in every girl I go out with. Whether it's personality or if she has the slightest resemblance..”

Okay, Sam.. what the fuck. but also, aw! “That's.. kind of weird, but sweet in a way.” You say with a giggle. “Yeah, I guess.” Sam shrugged, accidentally looking down at your boobs. “Um, sorry.” He looked away and blushed.

No matter how much he changed, he was never gonna fully get rid of that shy guy in him. “It's okay.” You laughed at him and decided to stroke his cheek with your hand. “You've always been so cute when you blush.”

“Yeah, okay.” He says in a deepened, sarcastic voice and rolls his eyes. “Its just. blushing. Nothing about that should be amusing.” , “But it is!” Your hand went to mess with his curly hair.

“You look really good with long hair, too.” You keep complimenting him on his appearance until he rushed in for a kiss. His hands went to your hips, rubbing up and down until they got a little more nosy and rubbed your thighs, making you shiver.

“Sam, what are you doing..” You mumbled against his lips. “I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to do something.” He mumbled back and pecked your lips one more time before shifting to your neck. “Sam, what if someone sees—” That made him smile against you. “Silly, no one's gonna see. I live alone.”

—

One thing led to another, and now he had two fingers in you on his bed. So much happened too fast. You couldn't remember what even led to this. “Sam, faster, please.” You whimper, holding onto his forearm. “Why, you don't like me going slow? Don't like when I'm being nice?” He whispered into your ear, speeding up the pace just a little bit.

“No, I—,” What were you supposed to say? You were already at a loss of words, getting so stimulated by his long fingers. “Can't say anything else, baby?” He smirked and shook his head. “It's okay. Just let me make you feel good.” He removed his fingers and put them on his mouth, sucking off all the cum you left.

He let his cock free from his boxers and slid it on between your folds, causing a moan to leave your mouth. “You like that?” He questioned, not expecting you to react like that. You nod your head at Sam, letting your hand find its way to his cock and inserting it into you for him.

Sam let a breathy moan escape him as you did this. “Shit, you couldn't wait?” He grips your hips, swallowing. “So tight. It's better than I ever imagined.” He groaned, moving in and out slowly. “Can I go faster, please? pleasepleaseplease.” Every plead was said with every thrust.

You nod your head, keeping your eyes on his face. He looked so good in the dim light. All sweaty, eyebrows knitted together. “Sam, ‘m gonna cum.” you scratch at his back. “yeah? so do it then. cum all over my cock, s’okay, pretty.” his cock went deeper inside you.

just a couple more thursts, and it was over for you. He edged himself for a little while so he could make you finish 2 more times before he slid in between your folds and came all over them. the way he would only whimper when be was close was so cute.

He stayed lying on your chest for a short while as you twirled his locks in your fingers. “Please dont leave. I can't lose you again.” Was he asking you to move all the way back here again? The first thought that came to your mind was yes, but then you went deeper into thought, thinking about your friends back over where you lived now.

“I'll..” You pause, looking at him. Look at you with his pretty eyes. “stay.”

Great.

—

Timeskipping to a year later, he asked you to be his official girlfriend and to move in with him. And of course you said yes! Life with Sam Monroe is perfect. Hes so sweet and gentle all the time, even when hes upset. Hes all you could ever ask for in a boyfriend.

—

tags: @heartsforanakin @sockiess @radiantvader @anakinstwinklebunny @lunalitva @lvrfay3 @froggyfrip @geckoomoria @espinathena-17 @demieyesore @your-arm-is-minty-fresh @gallerygourmet @haydensprettyprincess 🎀

#Spotify #hayden christensen #sam monroe #life as a house #sam monroe x you #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe fanfiction #sam monroe smut #sam monroe imagine #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker smut #anakin smut #rots anakin #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker

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scoobydoodean · 17 hours

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what the FUCK is wrong with sam fans . this is kind of a genuine question .

I mean for some of them it's definitely connecting your personal life experiences with the experiences of a character from a TV show to a degree that is not healthy.

Identifying with fictional characters is completely normal and intended—it's what makes certain stories stick out to us over others. Using fiction to cope with and work through ones own personal trauma is not an inherently bad thing either—it can be therapeutic and perfectly healthy. But you can take this too far and reach a point where you totally lose perspective on a story being a story and can no longer interact in fandom spaces without being harmed emotionally. This emotional harm happens because you have begun to believe that the character is actually you. Not only does this make you feel as if others speaking with authority on the character in a way that challenges your own perceptions is an invalidation of your own emotions and experience... it means you begin to receive any criticism of a fictional character as a criticism of yourself, and that is not a position you ever want to place yourself in.

Art is art. There are objective aspects to it (the medium, the colors, what it literally depicts) but what it means is subjective. Art can be personal to you, but it's also personal to everyone else who observes it and likes it. It does not exist just for you to interpret and identify with or to suit your sole sense of its meaning. You cannot impose the personal meaning you place on a piece of art on everyone else and demand they view it through your personal lens. To do so is to misunderstand the purpose of publicly shared and experienced art.

We all have moments where we find our feelings about art are so incongruous with someone else's that it isn't enjoyable to view that art side by side with them. However, if you have reached a point where you find yourself claiming that those people's perceptions of art literally cause emotional harm to you, and that the onus is on them to censor their thoughts and feelings about art to protect you, you should not be viewing that art publicly. In fact, you should really be questioning whether you have a healthy relationship with the art itself and whether you actually like it. Life is too short to spend it fixated on something that you think you like, but that is actually slowly sucking you into a pit of despair.

#mail #dont feed the stans after midnight

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tofixtheshadows · 4 hours

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You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.

The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.

For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.

I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.

Like, this

is funny.

But this?

Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.

The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.

I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:

Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.

And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.

#Dungeon Meshi #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #Dungeon Meshi meta #I'm putting it in the tag. I'm making you look at it.#if you come into my inbox to bitch about this just know that people used to send me b*heading videos in there for similar racist reasons #so I will not be impressed #I'm in a fucking time loop someone get me out!!!!#musings with Dea

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rokomoi · 2 days

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.•*between lovers*•.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄ ･

pairing: gunwook x reader.

synopsis: he stood still in the beach, reminiscing about the moments he had with you.

now playing: for lovers-lamp.

disclaimer: english isn’t my first language, apologies in advance for any grammatical mistakes and errors. no pronouns nor skin colour will be mentioned.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄ ･

love. the most beautiful emotion that we, human beings can feel once finding the right person, our future loved ones. But sometimes, it could be harmful. Almost what drugs do to you, you get the dopamine hit for a couple of hours, days and perhaps for a long time but then it fucks you up in the most horrendous ways.

“Angel?” I called out to you in a comforting tone. Your humming in response felt like honey dripping, sweet but too much of it could kill me. A chuckle left me as my eyes turned into crescent moons from how hard I was smiling from the expression on your face that I adored and loved kissing so much. I watched how your eyebrows came together in the front to form a frown and your lips pursing outwards and making a cute little scowl, after receiving a soft punch in the shoulder from you, I cleared my throat and my hand travelled on their own to catch your cold hand in mine, much smaller in comparison than mine and rising it up towards my lips and planting a small kiss on the pinks knuckles.

“Can you promise me something?” I murmured. A questioning hum erupted from me, my gaze softening and I tilted my head to the side a little as I observed how your head slowly moved up and down in a hesitant manner, I couldn't blame you since I had just interrupted your break day from school and invited myself over for a small ‘at-home date’ since it's been a hot minute since I've last seen you.

“If…anything goes wrong with us, promise me to always be by my side,” I whispered. I sucked in my lower lip and started to slowly nibble on it, as thoughts about the future started coming in and crashing down on me like a horrible tsunami. I blinked away the tears that started to moisten my eyes, I let my head drop and hang low as I stared at my lap since I didn't want you to see me crying because I've always made myself appear strong and in front of you and never emotional so I didn't give you anymore struggles in life.

“Gunwook…don’t cry” my ears picked on the shuffling noise of your clothes as you moved around to be closer to me, I inhaled a sharp breath in and your small hand squeezed my own tighter, a gesture you would always do whenever you saw me getting nervous. The tip of my nose started turning red and felt like it was burning, the same thing my eyes were currently doing as I let a tear drop down, then another and then another until my shoulders started to shake and vibrate. I felt your other hand grabbing a soft hold of my left cheek and forcing me to look up at you through blurry eyes, your finger working its best and over to wipe at the new warm tears falling.

“I promise you, I'm here and I'll always be here with you, my gunwook…”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄ ･

“Gunwook! You know I'm scared!” I laughed at your whining as you stood at least thirty feet away from the ocean I was currently swimming in with a bunch of others. I shook my head as I slowly swam all the way over to you and got out of the cold ocean and I hissed at the burning sunshine that was hitting me, I shook my head from side to side to get all the excess water from my black locks, sweeping them backwards with my hands to get them out of the way as my wet feet sank underneath the sand and some sticking onto my feet as I finally reached to where you were. Towering over you and blocking you from the crazy sunlight hitting your face which made your scowl even worse under that beige sunhat you had one. “I know, angel. But don't you think it's time you get over that fear slowly by…you know…swimming?” I said softly. Making sure to keep my voice soft and warm like I was convincing a child to go to the doctor, but instead, I was doing it out of love and since you've talked about wanting tovercome your fear of the ocean and learn how to swim since…the number of tsunamis happening this year is quite alarming, to say the least.

“I know but…” you trailed off. I hummed at you, arching one of my eyebrows at you as I stood beside you and swung an arm over your shoulder my other hand going to rest on my hip as we both looked over the waves crashing and people swimming underneath the umbrella. “I just don't…think I'm ready yet, Wookie” you whispered, I lowered my head to glance at you and only found you doing that bad habit of fiddling around with your clothes whenever you were scared, a small scoff escaped through my lips as I placed both of my hands firmly on your cheeks and turning you to face me and look up at me. “You can do it…do not absolutely feel pressured into doing something you're not uncomfortable with, got it angel?” I said in a stern voice. The left corner of my mouth curved up into a small victorious smirk as you nodded along to my words, I snickered to myself before bending my knees down to a certain height to be able to do the thing I loved the most which was me, crashing my lips onto yours in a kiss that was filled with love, passion and feelings, just like the movies and books I've always read and seen. Just as I pulled away and stared at your shiny eyes that held stars within them, a faint string of saliva connected both of us as I tried to regularise my breathing, my head snapped towards the ocean as I heard a blood-curling scream coming from the direction, I frowned as I couldn't see anything since people were all scrambling around and grabbing their belongings which made me even more confused as I held onto your hands and firmly grasping it until my knuckles turned white. Then it hit me…harder than ever as I saw waves, big waves and the water rising, a tsunami was happening. I gulped down the saliva built up as I turned to face you, trying to keep my nonchalant face on so I would not panicky you any further.

“Go back to the car, I'll get our belongings and no buts angel…I love you so much” I spat out quickly, chewing down on my lower lip nervously and crashing my lips onto yours since I didn't know if I was gonna make it out alive in time. I broke the kiss quickly and pushed by the shoulders to where the swarm of people was going and you looked at me, with tears filling up your already shiny eyes and your pink lips quivering and I knew what you were feeling and what was going on inside your head.

I should’ve gone with you to the car instead of being a ‘hero’ who doesn't save the day…

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄ ･

I watched the seagulls above me flap their wings away in the blue and clear sky. I fluttered my eyes shut as the waves crashed against each other creating a soft lullaby for me to listen to whilst reminiscing about the memories I had with you, whilst you were still here.

A singular tear formed and fell out of the corner of my eye, I sank deeper into the warm beach sand beneath me, I knew you were probably judging me from above as you watched me weep on an empty beach on a Friday afternoon.

“I still blame myself, angel…” I mumbled to myself. A deep sigh left my lips as I stared at the sky slowly darkening and changing from orange into a lavender colour. “If only I had known that…the tsunami would attack the other side first…I would be with you right now, in heaven” I spat out in a cracked voice, I raised my sandy hands to rub away at my eyes to try and wipe the tears that were threatening to spill. I exhaled through my mouth as I slowly raised myself up and picked up my belongings, not forgetting to pick up my favourite type of seashell and hold it between my two hands and making a wish that I truly wanted to come true and throwing it towards the ocean and I watched skipping away at the ocean before it completely sank. I giggled out of pity for myself as I dragged my feet across the sand as the sky darkened above me and leaving me completely alone with my thoughts in the darkness, the stars and most importantly you, my little angel, now in this world and the other world.

I wished another tsunami could happen that could kill me first and put me out of this misery, guilt and shame that has been weighing on my shoulders since two years ago…

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･･ ⋆ ･ ⠄ ･

#zb1 imagines #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 scenarios #zerobaseone #zb1 gunwook #park gunwook #gunwook imagines #gunwook x reader #gunwook fluff #zerobaseone gunwook #zb1 angst #zerobaseone angst

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funnyjb · 1 day

Text

About Last Night

Warnings: language

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(After Bengals game)

It was around 8:30 when you and Joe got home from the game. The Bengals lost. It was their third loss this season in a row. It sucks but you know they are desperate to get a winning streak going and working hard to win a championship.

You threw my boots of and hung my coat in the closet near our entry way. Joe already was downstairs just before you could even take your shoes off. The loss was hitting him hard especially because he knew he could have done better. He quickly got to work on film. You were upstairs alone in the kitchen heating some food up for the both of you.The kitchen lights were the only lights on along with the lamp in the living room. The only noise you heard were the creeks on the floor boards when you walked and the microwave heating up some vegetables and rice. You could hear faint noises from joes film downstairs to. After a couple minutes the food was done and you took it out to put on a plate for Joe and bring it down. You walked down the wooden stairs into the basement and made a right to joes home office. Then knocked on the door that was wide open to let him know you were there.

“Hey, I made some food for you.”- you

Joe just looked at me

I walked over to the coffee table in front of him. He was sitting on the small leather couch you got him a few months ago to make it more comfortable in his office for film watching.

“I’m not hungry.”- joe

You looked at him

“You got to be hungry Joe. You just played a three hour game. You got to put something in your system.”- you said sweetly

“I said I’m not hungry, y/n!”- joe raised his voice

He never raised his voice at you EVER.

You were taken back. You honestly were a little scared. He has never raised his voice. You didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, I will just take it back.”- you said picking up the plate

“Y/n! God, can you move. I can’t see the screen!”- joe raised his voice again

“Excuse me,Joe what is wrong with you. You have never raised your voice at me ever! And it’s rude. I get your frustration about the game but don’t take it out on me. Here take your food back, eat it cold.”- you scoffed

You left the room. As you turned to the stairs tears started rolling down your face. You covered your mouth in shock about what juts happened and trying not to let Joe hear you sob. Walking up the steps and into your kitchen you started sobbing even more. The tiredness started to hit you and you couldn’t believe the interaction you just had with Joe. You put your elbows on the kitchen counter and covered your face with your hands. Trying to control your sobs you breathed in and out.

After about 5 minutes you heard footsteps. Your eyes were red and one last tear streamed down your face. you wiped the tear with your fingers before joe could see you. You decided to act like you were doing something so you got the cloth that was on the counter and started wiping away some stains and crumbs. As you were wiping,Joe walked in. He looked up at you quickly. You didn’t even want to talk to him let alone look at him right now.

“Y/n.”- joe

“Don’t Joe, I’m not in the mood.”- you

“Can we please talk? I’m so so sorry y/n I-” -Joe

“I don’t want to hear it right now Joe!”- you

You looked up at him

His eyes were also a little red. He started crying after you left. He felt horrible for what he just said to you and how it made you feel. He finally composed himself enough to come up and talk with you.

“Just go upstairs and I will meet you there. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep.”- you

“No, I want to talk this out with you. You are my wife and the love of my life. I hate that I made you cry, so we are going to talk.”- joe

“Fine Joe, here it goes. I get it, You’re tired and angry about the way the game turned out. But that is never a reason to take it out on me or anyone you love. Especially when that person is trying to help you. It is so hard Joe seeing you down like this, so hard. I work hard to make sure when you get home you have food on your plate waiting for you, I make sure that your clothes are washed and clean for the next day, and when you are injured I make sure you have everything that you need to stay healthy and not in pain. I love you Joey,so much and I love this life I have with you, but its can be hard at times and I know you know that. It’s annoying when I get home from a tiring day and just want to curl up in bed but I don’t. I want to make sure that you are ok and that you eat after a long day. So I make you food and bring it down to you. But all I get is you raising your voice at me which you never do and you saying “I’m not hungry” and “Y/n! God, can you move. I can’t see the screen.” You know how that fucking sucks after today. I was just trying to taken care of you and I know you know that now but you can’t just raise your voice at someone who loves you and is trying to help you,Ok?”- you

You just stared at Joe waiting for a response.

“I’m sorry y/n. Truly from the bottom of my heart. I know it’s hard for you. I get that it’s tiring and tuff taking care of someone like me. But I should man up and I don’t and I’m sorry. I should have never raised my voice and I seriously have no idea why I did. I would never raise my voice at you and now I did. I saw it made you scared and taken back. I wanted to come up to you right away but I know when you are sad or angry you like to have some time alone. Im so pissed at myself that I made you cry. I love you y/n so much it hurts and I’m so grateful that you take care of me the way you do. I promise to never raise my voice ever!”- joe

He walked over to you and gave you a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around his torso and gave him a tight squeeze. You looked up at him and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“It’s ok Joe, I know you didn’t mean for it to happen.”- you

“No, it’s not ok. I hate that I did it to you. It wasn’t right.”- joe

“Joey, seriously it’s ok! I promise you. I love you Joe with all my heart.”- you

“I love you to,y/n. I will love you for forever and ever.”- joe

He grabbed your cheeks and kissed you.

“Want to go to bed?”- joe

“Yes, please!”- you laughed

Joe laughed along with you as you two walked up the steps to your bedroom.

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#joe burrow

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leandra-winchester · 18 hours

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So. There's been a lot of speculation, and a lot of hot and lukewarm and some honest and valid takes about the new trailer and the potential of what might go down next ep.

I've been thinking thoughts, and I have my own personal stance on the matter. And no, I will not be 'taking criticism', because this is the way I view things in general, and it won't change. So this isn't me opening up a debate about this, this is just me sharing my personal views, which you absolutely can agree or disagree with. (So if your views on cheating are vastly different from mine, don't come at me telling me how wrong I am, I'm not doing that at you either)

That being said, here are my thoughts and beliefs.

Kissing isn't (automatically) cheating. For me, it highly, highly depends on the accompanying circumstances. There are kisses for shits and giggles that are not cheating. There are kisses happening under heavy influence of whatever substance - something that can render you legally not responsible for a lot of things, so how does it make you responsible for a moment's poor choice? There are kisses that are done deliberately with intention and feelings/high physical attraction involved, and THAT is cheating. When we look at the Buck/Lucy kiss, I didn't see it as huge a deal as many of the fandom did. The kiss itself somewhat fell into the second category. But what made it at the very least borderline cheating was the fact that Buck made a secret of it afterwards. Had he said "Look, something happened last night. I was drunk, then Lucy kissed me, and I didn't instantly pull back, but I didn't want to kiss her again or anything. I have no feelings for her whatsoever and I will watch myself in future a whole lot more to notice any signs of flirting, which, in hindsight, there were. I'm sorry." - then I think that's still grounds for a partner to be mad, sad, disappointed, but it's not really full-on cheating. Not in my book, by my definition.

Emotional cheating is much worse than physical cheating Being in love with someone and knowing it, imagining yourself to be with that other person, THAT is much more cheating by my definition than a fleeting kiss. And sometimes, depending on the circumstances, maybe even more than a drunken fumble or one night stand, but that is a very complex question. However, emotional cheating means you're not really in it with your current partner, pining for someone else but settling for what you can have out of convenience, fear of being left behind or some other highly egoistical motivation. That really sucks. (I've seen that take expressed on my dashboard as well, though with slightly different nuance to what I feel and believe, but pretty close)

So, taking these two of my underlying beliefs as the basis, what can I see happen in the next episode that would leave me feel okay with it, or happy about it, and what would make me feel iffy about it?

Let's start with the iffy.

Buck:

If, at any point in their drunken Hangover-movie escapades Buck and Eddie kiss, full on kiss (with maybe a little bit of tongue), and that kicks something lose in Buck, I would utterly hate that. Not that I wouldn't find it plausible that a kiss like that would trigger him realizing romantic feelings for Eddie, but that it happens now.

Someone else made a long post about negative stereotypes about bisexuals, and I agree. This is the promiscuity/bisexuals can't be trusted to be faithful stereotype, and I don't want Buck to ever be seen in that light.

Also, Buck JUST (and that post mentioned that too) convinced Tommy to come with him to the wedding, that he's ready for something... only to emotionally cheat (because it's that aspect for me rather than the kiss itself) on him the very next opportunity?

"But Tommy and Buck aren't in a relationship yet," I heard someone say, and well, yes. But this isn't REAL LIFE. It's writing. Things are crafted in a certain way to form a story, and stories have a purpose. The narrative gave us an arc where Buck seemingly wasn't ready for a relationship with a man yet, where he fucked up and had to fix that, had to take a leap and take some courage to make it work.

Just purely from a narrative standpoint, it would be so inconsistent to reverse that healthy step forward just one episode later.

From what we know about the episode, it also doesn't look like he's breaking up with Tommy in that episode. A lovely, potentially dramatic moment where Buck kisses Tommy in front of everyone as a means of 'coming out' is highly implied/likely. So that would mean him being aware of some feelings towards Eddie and still going through with that. And yeah. No. I'd really, really fucking hate that.

Eddie:

If they kiss at some point and it kicks something loose in Eddie, and he then goes back to Marisol... I'd have much less of a problem with that because it could still be explained and justified with him just being in utter panic about coming out. It would match the catholic guilt arc, and all his previous attempts at conforming to heteronormativity... BUT, if the relationship just continued as is and he'd actively use her as beard that would be shitty, even for poor confused, repressed, closeted Eddie.

The Not Iffy

On with Eddie:

If that kiss brings something to the surface in Eddie and he then breaks up with Marisol one episode later I would not consider that cheating or poor morals or anything of the sort. He wasn't aware of it until that moment, and as soon as he is aware of it and has had a little bit of time to process it, he draws the right consequences from it and breaks off a relationship he's not fully in.

So this would actually be fine to me. This could be the kick starter for a potentially long and complex arc for Eddie to a) come to terms with his sexuality and b) pine for Buck from a distance, because Buck is with Tommy and c) eventually, when the time is right, for Buddie to go canon.

Buck:

The kiss itself wasn't a serious or real kiss. I'd be okay with it, if it was some silly, exaggerated "MWAH" smack of the lips kiss, prompted by someone or something around them - I dunno, maybe one of the women there saying "Aww you're such a cute couple" and they going in for it just for shits and giggles; or Buck gushing about Tommy and what a great kisser he is and Eddie drunkenly, outwardly jokingly saying "Hey, I'm a great kisser too!" and them jokingly leaning in for a smooch, again, for shits and giggles.

Buck afterwards doesn't even remember it because it meant nothing in that moment, and so he's neither seriously physically nor emotionally cheating on Tommy in the slightest.

"But Buck has deep feelings for Eddie. How can he kiss him and not realize them?"

Well, see, Buck has been around Eddie for almost 6 years now and not realized them. They are so, so far past that getting to know and falling in love phase that it makes it a bazillion times more complicated to distinguish those deep platonic feelings from deep romantic feelings (because, what it comes down to in both instances is a deep bond; the bond of love you feel after years of dating isn't that different from a deep platonic bond. Again, Eros vs. Pragma and all that).

But Buck is *in love* with Tommy, he's just entered that exciting, chemically turbulent process of falling in love with someone which, with all the newly formed neural connections and all those hormones overrides anything else that has long since been present and is only now presented with the opportunity to take on a new nuance. Of course he doesn't get it, and he likely won't get it until much, much later, when he's falling out of love with Tommy again for whatever reason, or they break up amicably for whatever reason.

And THIS again is something that could easily go into the iffy, because I would really fucking HATE the implication that Buck needs to break up with Tommy to be with his One True Love. I don't want this to be a difficult and painful choice.

IF (when) Buddie goes canon, I want them both to be ready and free for it and not accidentally pushed towards it, or struggle with a guilty conscience for it, or hurt someone else about it. (Marisol wouldn't count in that context as Eddie would have broken up with her months ago and gone on his own long self-discovery trip).

So yes, even if for slightly different reasons, and even if my views on what constitutes 'cheating' may differ from a lot of yours, I agree that any actual MUTUAL feelings realization right now, under these external circumstances, would totally tarnish the beginning of the Buddie relationship.

Which also makes me hopeful it won't happen in such a way. Up until now, the writing has been extremely solid, and Buck's coming out arc has been done with so much care. I doubt they'd do something that ruins it. (But I'm not 100% sure of it either).

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #this is not an invitation for debate #respectfual nuanced exchange and dialog #yes #but don't lecture me on my morals #I'm very solid and confident in them

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fanofthelamb · 2 days

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So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

#cw gore #cotl au stuff in here #23 pics under the cut btw #cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl spoilers #cotl kallamar #cotl leshy #i dont think ill tag anymore #idek if i should've tagged this post at all #but well see how it plays out!!#THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN

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dykedvonte · 3 days

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I am making grabby hands and begging for more of your lovely Benny HC’s pleeeeease

Okie Dokie!!! Kinda long so under the cut it is

Benny is baby-faced and mid-20s. I like the idea he was so roped into House's offer because he was and still is kinda young and impressionable. His lobes aren't fully cooked yet and it shows.

Short and just now getting stout. Being a wastelander means you stay kinda lean and now he takes a lot of opportunities to fill out and look bigger.

Weirdly naive. He can spot a lie/lair from a mile away but if you somehow can charm your way past that intuition he's all too trusting with you on personal matters. All boot riders are like this actually as they rarely are wary of someone considered their own.

Moves like a lizard, very still one moment and then fast/jittery the next. He's not very predictable outside of being a backstabber.

A hand talker who can't keep still or quiet for long. Gets bored easily which is why he never was the casino desk man.

Was just called Gecko before but mainly for his eyes and not the aforementioned behavior. Very cold and sharp like a Mojave golden Gecko but also pretty.

All his smiles are practiced. There's a certain menace his natural smile has, too many teeth, too big, too wild, too mocking. Kinda like a dog barring his teeth and combined with his eyes it's rather intimidating. All the fake smiles are coy and rather closed lip.

Doesn't like using guns but it gives him an edge. Likes to get in close and feel like he's earned the kill during a fight but he's got an image now...

Not religious and doesn't get organized religion. Part of House's doing as House of course would explain it as something superfluous but Benny's own opinions are more "If a god was real why would he make life suck this much ass"

Maria means nothing to him but is part of his image. Following the point below, what he got from House is like a uniform for him, even if he doesn't want to go back to it, it is physically comforting.

Got to choose his name from a list House gave him. Chairmen had the most things altered about them. Treats his name like a title more than anything, interestingly enough.

If he ever defected he would join the followers. They share a lot of viewpoints and he'd act as a spokesman vs anything else. He is a likable guy, just not a guy you can get close to while keeping a "likable" opinion of him.

Doesn't sleep that much. Not much to do with the plans he has but he is a wastelander at heart. The city while secure isn't what he's fully used to still and the lights/sounds keep him up

Emotionally repressed and doesn't know it. Has a hard time actually connecting with most people cause he struggles with determining if a relationship is serious. People are friends or FWB and little else cause it's never been important to his or the Chairmens' prosperity.

Follows Boot-Rider customs discreetly and says Chairmen shit for show. A lot of the family would tell you a big reason Boot-Rider traditions aren't gone is that he won't let them die even if they gotta be silent about them.

He's eerily people smart. Intelligence is subjective here as he's not book smart but he gets people he knows what they want to hear even if he doesn't genuinely believe it. The comic knows he pays attention to what makes people vulnerable and he's like idk FNV Heather Chandler. Not introspective at all though.

My last point for now is: Violent. Maybe a better word is intense but he lacks inhibition and temperament control in a lot of aspects. If he's forced a direction he kinda just runs wild even if he was taking it slow before. He has hard opinions and makes plans with a sense of finality to them and doesn't act until that's achievable. Like I'm sorry but he gets mean at you and whatever he say to Yes-Man about the khans must be crazy with how YM talks about them. He is so willing to get his hands dirty, I can imagine he misses being able to get messy.

This is not organized at all but these are major ways I see Benny. He's like borderline an oxymoron who avoids it by small margins. Everything about him can be explained even though we don't get a lot of personal info about him, we know his habits. He's a guy who has such a detailed facade you can't tell what his actual face is most of the time and when he does show it, it's only in very specific and wild scenarios it can be hard to say it's how he'd really be. I'll just say the opening of the comic with him fluctuating from motionlessly looking at Vegas, to calmly talking to Swank, to rage and settling on something almost like commercial charm when talking about murdering what is basically a family member is just so indicative of what Benny is and how I tend to characterize him in my head.

#like realistically hed be so offputting in real life #like a person you know is being condescending or holding their tongue on the most trivial of things #i wouldn't mess with him cause hes the type to not hold a grudge cause hed just kill you for it #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #benny fallout #benny fnv #benny gecko #ask #anon

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