#and it’s not even a thing of motivation really?? bc i wanna get this done so i can relax | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

de4dlyniightshade · 3 months

Note

Dunno if u have seen it but I’d really love ur version of the NSFW alphabet for Spencer Reid

(Not sure if that really counts as a Drabble or a super long headcanon. I tried to go thru ur blog and I didn’t see where u had done 1 before!!)

ON IT!!!

doing it with sub!spencer ofc<3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): super sleepy and cuddly, just wants you to hold him and kiss him and play with his hair. also goes borderline nonverbal, just wants to be in your company.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): his favourite body part on himself is honestly probably his brain ngl BUT otherwise i'd say his hair, he takes good care of his hair and takes the time to make sure it looks nice so i'd say his hair. as for on you probably your hips or eyes, your eyes is the answer he tells people but actually he just loves gripping your hips and pinching the fatty skin there and placing kisses on your hipbones.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): loves cumming in you. so much. but also loves cumming on you, more specifically cumming on your pussy after fucking you, the way it looks running over you just making his head spin.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): pervert. not a creepy pervert but still a pervert. will stick around if he walks in on you changing, stare at your boobs and ass when he thinks you don't see him, shamefully touches your underwear for longer than he should when he's doing laundry, will spend a good while scanning your body while you sleep, especially if you're wearing shorts or a tank top.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): not experienced. has no idea what he's doing. he tries his best and learns fast but he needs a lot of guidance and care but he prefers you taking control anyway.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): cowgirl. nothing beats getting ridden in his mind, the sight of you on top of him, your boobs bouncing with each thrust and the way you gripped his waist.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): i wouldn't say he's serious but he's not humorous either, whenever your touching him he just becomes a moaning mess and can hardly think for himself, just completely lost in the pleasure.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): not shaved bald but definitely trimmed, if not for your benefit then definitely for his own.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): soooo lovey, just holding you and kissing you and snuggling into you and telling you that he loves you and thanking you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): definitely jerks off a lot when you're apart because he just gets really sexually frustrated without you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): mommy kink!!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): bed first, always, it's just more private and intimate but he also likes it on the couch but that's more of a spur of the moment thing.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): anything and everything. you smiled at him? horny. kissed him? extra horny. hugged him? horny. literally anything you do can get him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): blindfolds on him for obvious reasons, also domming, he just can't do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): giving all the way!!! even if he's not that good at it he puts his heart and soul into it. more often than not he gets carried away and forgets he's trying to get you to cum bcs he just loves to taste you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): loves it fast but not too rough if that makes sense? like he doesn't wanna hurt afterwards and whenever he's on top he just gets so caught up that he can't help but fuck you desperately.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): likes them a lot and however often you're up for it, especially before work. definitely walks into that building with a real pep in his step after a quickie in the morning.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): definitely game to experiment with a lot of things you wanna try, but nothing too crazy like he wouldn't be into slapping or extreme bondage, but a little tying up he's game for.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): not many. he gets easily overwhelmed and overstimulated bcs he's just so sensitive. can go three rounds at very best.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): doesn't own toys himself but if you do he uses them on you, more specifically if you had a vibrator he'd use it on you when you're tired. also let's you use a vibrator on him, the feeling of it pressed to his tip making him cum embarrassingly fast. not to forget pegging, would let you peg him or use a dildo on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): not at all, you're more the one to tease him but he doesn't have enough patience or self control to tease you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): very loud and doesn't even realise it, he just gets so lost in his own mind that he can't even hear himself.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): loves being bitten by you, not aggressively enough that it hurts too bad but if he was on top and you bit into his shoulder when you came he'd definitely follow quick after.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): around 7 inches, not too thick but not too thin either, curved upwards slightly, the prettiest pink tip and not overly veiny but definitely a few. also i feel like he has pretty nipples idc.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very high, needy alllllll the time like could go at it at the drop of a hat it doesn't matter what time of day he could be rock hard in seconds for you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): pretty quickly depending on the time, if it was one of those morning quickies ofc he can't but otherwise he tries to stay awake but never manages to actually stay awake that often.

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stuckinapril · 7 months

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You are so productive and living your best life I admire it so much! I don't understand how you do it... do you have any advice for forcing yourself to do the things you know are good for you even when you are feeling sad and not up to it? Have a lovely day ❣️❣️❣️

Plan your day hour by hour. This actually revolutionized my life. Plan when you’ll wake up, plan what you’ll do every hour of the day, and make it as realistic as possible to stick to your goals. Start with simple things and gradually ramp it up. Don’t overwhelm your day with 60 different goals. I’d pair one passive goal (be on your phone less, for example) with one active goal (study more, take more walks, read more) and go from there. It’s better to start small and be consistent than to start big and quit one day in.

Lower the resistance necessary to accomplish tasks. If you have somewhere to be early tomorrow, plan your outfit the night before. If you have studying to do, have your textbooks/notebooks/notes on your desk by the time you wake up. If you have an overwhelming task, break it into smaller subtasks and focus on them one at a time. If you don’t want to be on your phone in the morning, charge it somewhere you won’t be able to see the moment you open your eyes. I’m trying to overcome the phone issue right now, so instead of setting an alarm on my phone I just bought a digital alarm clock bc I know I’m way less likely to get on my phone that way. I’m lowering the effort needed to actually get started on a task.

Have motivational things handy for when you’re down!! I’m a highly visual person, so it actually really helps me to make moodboards. I have moodboards for things I wanna accomplish, moodboards for things I’ve already accomplished, a Pinterest board for affirmations etc etc. I have a list on my notes app for all the reasons why it’s important to me to accomplish my goals. I have another notes app page dedicated to pasting all the motivational quotes that help me whenever I’m in a funk. You could even print them and hang them up on your wall if you want. In times where instant gratification overshadows getting things done, make it very accessible to remember why they’re important to you to begin with.

Romanticize your tasks. I make silly to-do lists, I make sure I’m always in cute outfits when I’m running errands, I put on perfume and mascara and lip gloss even if I’m literally all on my own in my bedroom about to do a 3 hour study session. I love getting manicures bc there’s nothing more satisfying than studying with pretty dark red fall nails. This may sound extra but I go through my notes pretending I’m Elle Woods or something bc it makes it so much fun. A huge part of why I’m consistent with going to the gym is bc I buy pretty workout fits that just make me feel good. I wear lingerie under my clothes wherever I am bc it makes me feel like a bad bitch even if no one sees it. I don’t start a task with the thought in mind that I want to get it done already—I try to make the act of doing it in and of itself as engaging as possible.

To piggyback off that point, switch your environment if your current one isn’t serving you. Don’t just default to quitting if one approach isn’t working. If studying in your bedroom isn’t doing it, go to the nearest coffee shop. If the coffee shop isn’t working, do the library. Study indoors. Study outdoors. Study in nature. Hell study at a beach if you want to. It doesn’t matter where you are if you’re getting things done. Exhaust all your alternatives before calling it quits.

Set firm boundaries with yourself. This is so big. Self-care is absolutely treating yourself, but it’s also being your own parent and disciplining yourself if you feel like you’re not putting your all into something. In a world where it’s very easy to go “just a few more minutes on my phone” “I’ll do it tomorrow” “I can skip working out today” it’s really important to be able to parent yourself and exercise some tough love and do some things even if you don’t feel like you want to. I really struggle with this as a gen z girl bc this is THE era of instant gratification. But my goals are just more important to me than momentary comfort.

No zero days. Just bc you’re not being your 100% on one day doesn’t mean you should just lie down and do nothing. Being at 50% performance is better than being at 0%. I try to make sure I get some light tasks done on days where I don’t feel like going all in. It helps me not feel like I’ve just derailed my whole life, which consequently helps me move on from my ruts faster.

Look ahead. Can not emphasize this enough. Death motivates me like nothing else. You do not have an infinite time on this earth. You don’t want to be at the same place you’ve been at a year from now. Resist the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mentality as much as possible. Change happens in small increments & there’s no better time for it than the present. What may seem like little things you can skip out on now can quickly snowball into the very things that are preventing you from being where you want to be.

Acknowledge your limits. Someone with two full-time jobs and school should not be comparing themself to the progress of someone with one part-time job and like nothing else. I’m currently studying full-time and also trying to maintain a consistent workout routine, so I don’t expect myself to recreationally read more than 30 minutes a day, even if ideally I’d like that time to be way higher. I know it’s pointless to compare myself to someone who reads 70 books a month but has much less workload than I do. Comparison is inherently flawed bc no one else has been the dealt the cards you’ve been dealt. Tailor your schedule to your own unique situation. Make a list of your priorities and assign them to your hours accordingly.

Listen to your needs!! Mental health is the most important thing. You need to be in tune with yourself to know when you could be pushing yourself a little harder, and when it’s necessary to give yourself time off. If I’m in an actual burnout, I go out with friends. I go see a movie. I give myself the grace of being human and step back for a little bit. It’s completely okay to have those days, and acknowledging them helps you recover quicker. Take care of yourself <3

#i hope this helps <33 a girl rly loves her bullet point lists #also thank u for this ask bc now I get to look back at these whenever I’m in a funk 😈#ask #study tips

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seokmattchuus · 1 year

Text

Seok Mattew as a Dom

A/n: I love this man with my whole being. It's only fair he's the first zb1 thing I post. P.S I don't wanna hear s h i t about the gif. There's only so much to work with right now 😭

P.P.S I did not proofread because I have copious amounts of caffiene in my system and cannot read properly. If there's typos, let me know and I'll fix them when I'm normal again <3

Soft dom.

Softest of doms.

Also,

CAREGIVER VIBES

SO MANY CAREGIVER VIBES

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's clingy what can I say

Okay back to soft dom matthew.

Doesn't like raising his voice because it definitely hurts him more than it hurts you.

Because you're his lil baby.

How can he yell at his lil baby and be okay after that?

Raising his voice is the last resort or reserved for major fuck ups.

Usually says your name in that tone.

You know.

The soft dom tone.

Timbers? Shivered.

It usually does the trick because you don't really want to make him mad.

Unless you want to.

But we'll get to that. Put a pin in it.

He's up first most of the time so he makes breakfast to make sure you eat.

Smoothie person? He's got it made.

Cereal person? Prepped with your favorite spoon.

Full fledged meal? He's working on it but the eggs are done.

If he isn't up before you, he's blowing up your phone all day.

"Did you eat?"

"You forgot your water thingy. I'll bring it by later :)"

"Make sure you eat enough for lunch! Snacks and energy drinks don't count >.<"

Even if you pinky promise to eat a proper lunch, he doesn't trust you.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you're eating."

Turns into a whole video call during your lunch that you barely even get to eat anyways.

He's a giver. For sure.

I'd bet my life on it.

L o v e s foreplay.

He drags that shit out.

Kisses. Kisses everywhere.

Loves hickies.

Will trail them down your body.

And leave the biggest ones where only he can see :))

Bc he thinks they make you look pretty :))))

All in all just really wants to make your private time last. It's not like he's got other things to do.

Gives you head before sex.

Always.

Doesn't like restraints because he loves feeling you tug on his hair.

Gives him motivation, y'know?

He knows what you want.

And how you want it.

Say 'please' and he'll give it to you until you're begging him to stop

Because he totally does it for him more than for you.

Like, say he's had a rough practice.

Maybe a petty argument.

He'll text you some shit like.

"Can you get all pretty for me?"

"Remember that set we bought, can you put it on for me?"

You know what's coming and it just gets you worked up.

You know by now to just wait on the bed.

He wastes no time burying himself between your legs.

He's not moving anytime soon.

And with the hold he'd have on your legs, neither are you.

You're stuck there until he's done.

And that's not until you're crying and shaking because he needs you to be absolutely spent before he considers letting up.

Speaking of-

He might dabble in overstimulation, but not maliciously?

If that makes sense??

Like, his stamina is insane and after he's done eating you out, he's already getting ready move on.

And for the most part, you're not opposed but like,

Damn, not even a snack break, y'know?

He's just going.

Def likes missionary because eye contact.

And he can kiss you whenever he wants.

"Look at me, baby."

"So pretty like this."

"Such a good girl."

Likes to hold your hips.

Maybe leaves bruises.

(And totally apologizes afterwards)

I can see him liking doggy.

infrontofamirrorsohecanstillseeyou

I said nothing.

Maybe holds your arms behind you.

Or grab your hair.

You'd have to ask though.

Because he doesn't want to hurt you.

And even if he complies, he's constantly asking if you're okay.

He needs the reassurance.

He'll give you what you want but you have to tell him that he's not hurting you.

You're his precious baby bean and the last thing he wants is to hurt you.

UNLESS

Yeah, we're back to pushing his buttons. Take that pin out.

:))

Let's say the tone encouraged the brat in you and you wanted to test how far he'd go.

He's not gonna say anything while you're out.

Oh, no.

And of course, you're gonna take that as 'he's not gonna do anything', and you keep going.

But he's keeping track.

:))))

And it'll definitely come back to bite you.

"You really thought you'd get away with that?"

"Did my baby forget who's in charge?"

"What kind of punishment do you think you deserve?"

It's a trap, don't answer.

Because whatever you say will be wrong.

If you're thinking you got a one-way ticket to rough sex you are also wrong.

He will hold a grudge.

And he will fuck you over when you aren't expecting it.

Let's say you wanna cook dinner.

He offers to help.

:))))))

You're there, minding your business, chopping up some veggies.

He comes up behind you, all sweet and innocent.

His arms loosely around your waist.

Until he pushes forward and you're trapped between him and the counter.

You wonder why he's like this but then you remember.

:))))))))

You're trying to focus because you know he wants you to give up.

But he's got a plan.

His arms tighten around your waist and he leans down to press kisses on your neck.

He's still eyeing the hand holding the knife.

"Think you can do something for me?"

"If you can finish prepping those, you have permission to cum whenever you want."

Another funishment I think he'd be into is making you wear a vibrator that he can control.

But you have to be super busy.

Errands to run, homework to do, studying for a test.

You have to be doomed from the start, essentially.

Because then he has a reason to talk shit.

"C'mon, baby, we're just walking around the store."

"Focus, baby, you can do it."

"See? You're doing so well."

"If you can finish this assignment on a higher setting, I might let you cum."

You get princess treatment afterwards, lemme tell you.

He has pajamas set up but you have to bathe first.

But you don't have to do anything.

He bathes the both of you so can just relax in the water.

The bath is completely PG. No dirty thoughts bc he knows you're tired.

Shampoos and conditions your hair.

Gently washes your body, being extra careful where he knows you're sensitive.

Dries you off :((

And does the hair wrap thing :((((

Puts the pjs on you and goes to get some water.

He lets you pick a movie.

Not that you'll be awake for it, he just knows you like background noise.

He just puts on pajama bottoms so you can fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat :(( <3

That one's for me bc I love that shit

The second you wake up, best believe you'll have all the food you can think of in front of you.

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softxsuki · 1 year

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Hey there!!

I just discovered your blog while looking for some comfort fics and I immediately loved your newest Hawks fic and I will definitely be checking out your Yona fics now!🥹🥹

I have an urgent request too actually but pls don't feel pressured or anything if you are busy!! I'm just having a really bad BPD episode at the moment and I have the urge to cut everyone I love off because I feel unloved by them and like such a burden to everyone and I feel like I can't handle the pain anymore..

Sooo therefore I'd like to request Drabbles/Oneshots (honestly fully up to you) for Hawks, Gojo and Lucifer (only if that's okay for you ofc!!🩷) with a reader who acts all cold and becomes more and more distant in their relationship and when they confront her about it she breaks down and admits that she did it out of fear that they were going to abandon her anyway and bcs she felt like they deserved better..?

I know it's very specific and I am kind of embarrassed to ask for it but honestly my fav characters are my only source of comfort rn and I saw that you do mental health requests/comfort fics and I thought it's the sweetest and most thoughtful thing ever!!🥲

So even if you won't write this for or can't do it "immediately" I wanna thank you for doing this for the mentally ill folks who get their comfort from fictional characters. You are a lovely person! 🥹

-🩷

Hawks, Gojo, and Lucifer (Separate) with Reader Who Tries To Cut Them Out of Her Life

Pairings: Hawks x Fem!Reader, Gojo x Fem!Reader, Lucifer x Fem!MC

Warnings: mentions of feeling like a burden, wanting to cut loved ones out of your life, unedited (excuse any mistakes)

Genre: comfort

Post-Type: headcanons

Word Count: 1.07k

Summary: In which you try and distance yourself from them and they realize and try to talk it out with you (Yeah ik I'm still bad at writing these summaries, I'm sorry 😢 😂 )

[A/N: HEY! Thank you so much for your sweet words! I'm blessed that I'm able to write things for people that provide them with comfort. I'm so sorry for the long wait, life has been crazy, but I managed to find the motivation to get this done today! I hope it helps. I know you were looking for oneshots or drabbles, but I only write headcanons when someone wants a request for multiple people, so I hope that's okay! Enjoy! I hope it provides you with a little bit of comfort if anything :) <3 Take care!]

Hawks:

He gets very petty and if you decide to avoid him, he won’t make the effort to force you to be in his presence, but ofc it does sadden him, he loves you and having you push him away and not reach out to him less and less, hurts

Until one day he grows impatient with your silence

What did he do to have you shut him out? Why were you doing this?

He needed answers and he needed them now, so get ready for him banging at your door and inviting himself in as soon as you open it a crack

Hawks is gentle with the way he approaches the issue, honestly he might think that he may have accidentally done or said something without realizing it that possibly hurt your feelings

So he begins with an apology and just asks what you need him to do for you to forgive him for whatever he’s done

You mean the world to him, so having you slowly push him away from you without any kind of warning makes him nervous…he can’t lose you

“I know I’m out frequently doing hero work, and I sometimes have to leave our dates if I’m called for an emergency. I’m sorry if you’ve felt like I don’t care about you because of these things. But I want you to know right here and now that I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. So please, let me into your heart, don’t push me away anymore Y/N…”

Once you tell him that you’ve just been feeling like a burden to him, he moves quickly to wipe those thoughts out of your head

Never once has he thought you were a burden and his love for you just seems to grow as the days pass

Moving forward, he tries his best to verbally express his feelings for you more often, as well as trying to find time to see you again if he ever has to leave for a hero emergency

From now on, you’ll never doubt his love for you–and please, just mention whenever you feel this way again to him, he’d love to talk it out with you instead of just having you push him away

Gojo:

This man gets so pouty when you decide to ignore him

But it doesn’t affect how much he sees you on a daily basis

He refuses to let you avoid him and will continue to stick by your side

He’ll annoy you with his presence everyday, until you lash out in desperation because as much as you tried to slowly avoid him he was always there

But he remains unphased through it all and continues to act like this idiot he is

He does however, decide to get a little serious and hear you out as to why you are attempting to push him away, when you already know you’re stuck with him for life

Gojo isn’t stupid, as much as he tries to avoid serious conversations, once you actually open up to him, he knows that it’s time to listen to you and be there for you.

So when he hears that you’ve been feeling like a burden to him, he patiently listens to you the whole time

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. If anything I’m probably the one who’s a burden on you. I know I can be too much sometimes, but I just want to make sure you’re always happy. I’m sorry for not realizing your feelings sooner, Y/N. I don’t know exactly what's going on in that head of yours, and even though I joke around too much you can always open up to me about all those complicated feelings in your heart.”

A rare, empathetic Gojo moment that you out of everyone else in his life gets to see, so it’s truly an honor

Be he wipes an insecurities you may be feeling away and gets to joking around again in hope that it helps lift your mood

He’d probably put his phone on silent from all the elder higher-ups trying to contact him and spend the day with you–after all you are the most important person in his life, he’d do anything for you

Lucifer:

Out of everyone else on this list, Lucifer definitely knows what’s up even by the slightest change in your mood or actions towards him

I picture him not caring that you’re pushing him away, he's still going to go see you every morning and wish you goodnight every night

Stubbornness doesn’t work on him. He’s been alive for too long to have things go over his head so he already can kinda guess what’s going on with you after avoiding him just once

Literally, he sense something is off so fast, and his pride won’t allow him to just leave you be so you hear him knocking at your bedroom door so fast; you didn’t even get a chance to properly try and avoid him NFJENAKF

So he gets down to business very quickly, asking you what’s been going on and what he can do to help you feel better

Don’t even try to play dumb and act like nothing's wrong by trying to persuade him that you’re completely fine–he will see right through all your attempts

Once he is aware of how you’ve been feeling, he’s almost offended

“Have I done anything to prove that I do not care for you anymore MC? I invite you to my room each night, I treat you with respect and as much love as I possibly can. I know I’m not always as open with my feelings in public, but we both know that if I didn’t care for you, I wouldn't give you my time of day. That would never happen though, I’m already in too deep for you and nothing can change that…not even if Diavolo himself commanded it.”

He’s a passionate man, and knowing that you felt like he didn’t love you anymore really bruised his pride.

Expect many romantic advances after this; private dinners at Ristorante Six (he’ll rent out the whole place for you), going to see plays together, late night walks in the devildom away from his chaotic brothers who won’t leave you alone, and much more

He’ll make sure you know he loves you at the end of every night, so be prepared!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/26/2023

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studentbyday · 3 months

Text

30 days of intentionality

starting this challenge with the goal of taking it one day at a time. i have a hard time doing that these days. i spend more time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future than staying in the present, even if that's when i'm most content. not sure how i'll format my posts and most likely, i'll only do weekly updates bc daily ones are too overwhelming. i'll just go with the flow, trying to trust that everything will end up as it's meant to be and maybe i'll be more productive as focusing primarily on the present moment becomes a habit.

---

1. suo gân (arr. john williams for the ambrosian junior choir): i believe that if everyone lived by the idea of global citizenship and so saw the humanity in every individual from every background, there would be no war. reading the news fills me with fear, sorrow, and anxiety, but i also feel the responsibility to stay informed. did some studying today, more than yesterday, but it was kind of uncomfortable with the state of global politics lurking in the back of my mind. i'm still a little behind on school.

2. souvenir de paganini (chopin): today is not so bad. i'm making progress academically, but i do need to make time for social activities soon or i will get lonely and lose what little motivation i have very quickly.

3. once upon a december (arr. emile pandolfi): sometimes in the face of events and issues much bigger than myself that i have no control over, i feel like my dreams are pointless bc i think there's no way achieving them or trying to achieve them could possibly empower me to make real and important change that can truly benefit many. who knows if the future would even allow me to get that far. there are many things that could change the course of our lives that we don't have control over. but if others in worse situations than me and others much better informed than me can still have hope, then so can i. i didn't do much other than pharmacology and a little bit of philosophy today. i made more progress in pharmacology than expected, but that's only bc i didn't do any psych work. i also earned a few more mastery points on khan academy's integrated math 1 (not a priority, i know, but i wanted an easy win) and started lab tasks. i'm far from done with that, i need to do a little every day... i don't want to let them down! 🥺 (note to self: lying in bed is maybe NOT a good study break activity bc that just makes me not wanna do anything else after that and it's very very very hard to get out of that procrastination rut once i let myself fall into it.) 4. let's stay together (al green): everything should be going well, except i'm easily overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn't in an openly frazzled way, it was in a tired and slightly defeated "what's the point?" way, so i didn't realize it as quickly as i usually do. after some bed rest, cuddles 🧸, listening to steve jobs' commencement speech, and a little yoga, i felt better. "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." was something i didn't know i needed to hear today. i modified my to-do list and found that the list of things i "must do" was nearly as long as the list of things i "want to do" 😅

5. kreutzer sonata, movt. 1 (beethoven): pretty sure i've mentioned some of these songs before but...they really fit the mood! sometimes i feel things so strongly that i develop a tightening in my chest that can only be relieved in a scream... since i can't actually scream and i don't actually really like the physical feeling of it, i scream through exercise and music 😅 beethoven is very nice for when i'm feeling very annoyed or angry, especially if it's an anxious kind of angry or if it's anger at injustice/inequality. i can't find a piano solo version that does the fiery spirit of the violin justice. so in the vague future when i actually play this, either i try (and perhaps fail) to replicate that on the piano, or i find a violinist friend who would want to play with me 😅 right now though, imagining how i would physically create that sound on the piano will have to be enough. the prevailing thought/feeling of the day: sometimes i just really wanna believe in the good in people and believe that i can trust (some of) them. i long for that feeling of safety in a broader irl community that i actually belong in. i'm surprised by how often i long for it. but then my negativity is reinforced by news and people's opinions on it.

6. violin sonata no. 1 in g minor, bwv 1001 (j.s. bach): stuff was done. i felt calm/chill throughout the day, but even tho i feel good whenever that happens, it usually means i don't get an extraordinary amount of things done that day (lol since when do i ever). i'm not sure if it's enough, as there is still lots to do and i'm pretty sure that it's just wishful thinking that i'll achieve all my goals for this week by its end. i need to cut down my goals list to the realistic rather than idealistic version as always (school, lab, and basic self-maintenance tasks) 😅 gaawwwdd i hope i can do this...good night.

7. waltz in a minor, b. 150 (chopin): today and yesterday i have been able to keep my phone time under an hour. the days are blissful (if not at least calmer) and focused. 📚

8. only mine (laufey): cuddles in bed while listening to laufey is so soothing 🧸 takes me back to my childhood listening to lullabies in the dark 🥺 motivation to study is hard to find today. i just want to relax 🥺 i'll just do one tiny thing and see where i wanna go from there...

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mastersoftheair · 2 months

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ok, so my own final (and very, very fresh) thoughts, bc i wanted to wait until i'd watched everything to make a sweeping opinion of the whole series, and it's quite opinionated. and long. probably too long. i write essays for fun (everyone point and laugh):

my personal (and very, very fresh) ranking of the hbo war shows (not including gen kill bc that's a different war, sorry) goes- band of brothers > masters of the air > the pacific (it's the same for my title score rankings. that hasn't changed yet)

my main points of contention with MotA are 1) the nine episodes, 2) the length of the episodes, and 3) certain editing choices. nine episodes, compared to the classic ten, isn't Nearly enough time to showcase all that they wanna showcase (especially when the episodes are as short as they are, once you get past the recap and "next on" parts). and they wanna showcase A Lot! there so much going on! i'd ask them to pace themselves, but they literally Can't!

i mean, the editing choices are a Whole Thing! practically gives me whiplash sometimes lol. i feel like the weaker episodes still have parts that are Really good, but like. Individually. they don't work together as a stronger whole, which is to the episode's detriment. rather than jumping around (as the show often did), they could've benefited a lot from focusing on the One Story instead of squeezing three more stories into there (i say that, but i think the 4-5-6 episode run (all with multiple stories per episode) did this very well while Still being very good episodes, so it's not like it Can't be done, it just didn't work for 7, 8 and (partly) 9). granted, i suspect a chunk of the weird editing can be blamed on, well, there being only nine (and not all that long) episodes and no one wanting to cough up enough money for a tenth. ugh! i'm blaming both hbo And appletv for this (and covid19 ig). it's just One More Episode, how much could it cost?? and on the subject of episodes, why no episode titles? you used to love episode titles! i could've brainstormed episode titles for them For Free!!

when it comes to the characters, the rankings remain the same: BoB > MotA > TP. it's not totally fair tho, since BoB followed the exact same (and large-ish) group of guys from beginning to end, so you're Gonna know who they all are and get attached. this wasn't the case (for me!) when watching TP, since, unlike BoB, they jump around from group to group. i never felt like i got to know them all that well, outside of the main characters. i think MotA almost hits that sweet spot, especially knowing they had those two main things going against it: large cast And jumping from group to group. there's a case to be made for bias here (i Was the blog blogging about everything MotA for like. years.), but i still think they found a good enough balance of fleshing out the main characters while Also helping the audience get to know about a bunch of minor characters, of which there are a shitton (and their personalities, motivations, backgrounds, quirks).

there's also the representation of women. actual angel renée lemaire is and will always be a cut above the rest (bastogne is just That Good, argue with the wall). she's written so well that it almost makes me forget about how a bunch of women are portrayed in carentan. i have...issues with how women are portrayed in TP (even tho i love lena), so there's that. MotA falls in the middle (again) bc there's Way more women on-screen, but the writing can be questionable. balanced (as all things should be?) captain l'sandra wing-westgate is a character of all time, but episode 7 birthed the craziest discourse known to man (the hbo war fandom), but it wasn't all that unwarranted. manon and michou were sooo cool, but we didn't see nearly enough of them (another victim of the 'editing too many stories into one episode' problem. why not a whole resistance episode? or at least as the only b-plot?). paulina was interesting, but fulfilled one of those 'attractive foreign woman gives sage advice during/after sex' tropes (there's probably a tvtropes page for that idk). so many red cross girls, but none of the in-depth payoff :/ epic highs (multiple women!!) + epic lows (writing women??) = pretty tolerable. not great, not terrible. it was aight. i trust the fandom to build on this tho.

narrative is the big one tho. it's the whole "doing so much with so little" thing they've got going on (i'm ignoring their big budget here lol, could've been bigger). rather than having one main story with many connecting side stories (like BoB), it does the TP thing where there's many semi-connecting side stories set in the same general area. it helps that there's crosby's narration (i enjoy narration, sue me!), and he helps everything connect, sorta. but there's still other side stories that have Nothing to do with him (sandra's side gigs (revealing what she did takes away the mystery of what she Might be doing), the tuskegee airmen, quinn and bailey's eurotrip). would it have helped if there were two narrators (say, someone like rosie)? idk. gonna sit with that one. if there's a through-line, it's not super obvious like in the other two shows. which is insanely funny to me bc i literally like TP less, but that show's got an Extremely tight through-line all the way down. i can't lie and say it doesn't!

back to budget- i've seen people criticize this show for being called "masters of the air" when there's not much of "the air". ig that's fair, but there's the money issue, again. also, it'd get very repetitive if they were always in "the air". there was enough confusion about identifying who was who with the masks on, so imagine if that was Every Episode. out of All the issues the show has, this is the least issue-y. again, that's just my opinion, and it could change.

another budget thing (i think??)- idk enough about costuming and hair for period pieces so i can't comment on that with my 0 background in it, all i Can say is that i knoooooow people were clowning on marjorie cleven's hair in episode 1 (and i could see why, no such thing as 1940s beach waves). but from what i could understand- that actress' addition was a last-minute thing (bc i had No idea who the hell she was and i already found someone cast for marjorie all the way back in 2021). maybe there's something to say about the quality of rush jobs, but i really do think it was the most last-minute thing bc it came out of Nowhere, and timeline-wise, it looks like that bit was done long after everything else had been filmed. outside looking in, it seems something probably went wrong/didn't work out with who or what they already had and there wasn't enough wiggle room (time and money) to fix it. this isn't me being an apologist (lol), but i feel like a theorist at a big board bc nothing adds up! and i wanna know what happened! i'm just speculating! speculating on this blog is All i did for like Years lmaooo.

this is more of a side thing, but some of the lines in MotA feel really on-the-nose, almost corny. and that was Gonna be a knock against it, but there's some equally Extremely on-the-nose lines in both BoB and TP (Especially in BoB), so if i give MotA shit for it, i'd have to give all three shows shit for it lol. none of them are free of cheese.

another silly aside- no peaches, no main gingers, no main eugenes! we can't have 'em all, but c'mon!

there Is some good tho lol. one thing that MotA really has going for it, that i think the other shows have less of, is- and GOD it feels so weird to call this "world-building" when it's actual goddamn history, but- it's got world-building. maybe that isn't the best word for it. but i like how much Bigger ww2 feels in this show. BoB is one stop, then the next stop, then the next stop, which is, admittedly, good from a narrative-perspective (easy to follow), but not as good when you want a scale of how devastating the war is (in fairness, it was filmed in 2000). even TP feels pretty "enclosed" in a way. there's island-hopping, yeah, but all the damn islands look the same (not including australia lol). it's a theatre of the war we otherwise don't really get to see, but there still isn't all that much to see. it's water and sand and rock and dirt. which is the point, but Whatever! would've been cool if we saw sledge and co. in china, but moving on. MotA's able to really show the scale of it, both in the air and on the ground (that scene in germany during episode 6 was both harrowing and fantastic, also the inclusion of the actual children forced to fight nearer to the war's end in the finale). idk i just liked how it was able to zoom in and zoom out (and in and out again) in a way that the other shows weren't.

another thing it's got that the other shows don't is Really driving home how young everyone is (not "child soldier" young, but damn young). the cast is full of baby faces (rip babyface). a lot of ww2 shows/movies don't bother casting to reflect this, but i think overlooking that takes away from the overall impact. you browse through some old newspaper articles or photos of soldiers during ww2 enough and you're gonna Regularly get hit with the face of someone who looks like they could've sat in the desk next to you during a high school lit class. a lot of those b&w grinning faces look like kids bc they pretty much were (more so if they lied about their age). you don't really get that in BoB or TP (it's Crazy when the real life pics of the soldiers portrayed in those shows look younger than the actors).

i'm mixed about the tuskegee airmen. what we have, i love (thank you, dee rees). unfortunately, my biggest irk is that it leaves me wanting more of them, which i won't ever get. speaking as a black person (not speaking for All black people, just how i personally feel about it), having them included feels like a catch-22. if they weren't included in any capacity (all while knowing there were whole tuskegee airmen in stalag iii with the white main characters), there'd be a problem. however, including them (all while having these time constraints and not enough focus on them) leads to the feeling of having them "tokenized" (which i can see). there's no world where there'd be 50/50 split (even a 70/30 split) bc, at that point, just give them a show of their own. but there'd still be a general annoyance that big budget ww2 shows are only ever white. on the other hand, hanks and spielberg and orloff and miller and all the directors (except dee rees) are white, and how good of a story about black people are you really gonna get from the perspective of nonblack people? that in mind, i personally don't feel put-off by having the three tuskegee airmen in the posters/trailers/promos, bc i just Know there'd be a whole nother problem if they weren't included in them at all despite being in the show for however long (it'd be even worse if they made their pictures smaller). like i don't work in advertising, but i don't know if a "sweet spot" even exists for something like this. people would be pissed off no matter what imo (i'm also speaking with a bias here bc i had to browse through sooooo many comments written by white guys whining and crying and pissing and shitting themselves once they learned that the tuskegee airmen were gonna be in the show in Any capacity, so i'm just cool knowing they're in shambles rn (and josiah cross- he played richard macon- always goes Wild seeing his face in the promos, and his joy is pretty contagious).

i give it somewhere like a 7.5-8/10. 3.75 stars out of 5. not perfect, subject to change, gotta marinate, but i'm overall happy with it! MotA's best episodes are better than many other individual hbo war episodes. should i be grading it using the overall sum of its parts, not just the different parts? idk, i'm not being paid to grade lol.

#i feel like i'm knocking the pacific too much in this even when i like the pacific. i just like it much less #i've talked my sister's ear off enough about it (she adores the pacific the way i do band of brothers)#and like i've got plenty of issues with band of brothers but it just does it for me. idk. i'm complicated by avril lavigne #this is an essay. my GOD is this an essay #but better to vomit it all out now so i can look over it later and see how my opinion changes over time. i want to archive my fresh thought #masters of the air #hbo war #masters of the air spoilers #mota spoilers #band of brothers #the pacific #for once i'm not spam-tagging those. i talk about them a decent amount in here. sorry for the people who don't go here tho #long post

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sugar-omi · 9 months

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i start school in 12 hours 😧

so to keep from losing my sanity imma ramble about how Cove would make school fun if you hate it, like me!

Going to school with him, rather it's by bus, car, or on foot is always nice bc you guys can just talk and hang out on your own.

If someone ever tries to start shit w you, he's there and ready to kick ass. (not literally, he's a gentle giant. i mean unless he really has to)

If you get easily burnt out and lack motivation to do your school work, you guys can have study sessions!!! although results may vary when it comes to how much work you actually get done 💀

Sits next to you in all your classes and pouts when your schedules don't line up. Promises to see you at lunch and if you hate the caf like me he makes it soo much more bearable just by being there.

If you're a complainer like me, he'll listen to you and give solutions

his solutions: "let's just skip."

you don't tho. not too often at least

i feel like Cove would definitely be the type to skip for you. Like you tell him you're not going to school and he's already at your window like 'ok so what are WE gonna do then?'

doesn't matter if he was dressed and ready to go, he doesn't wanna be there without you.

UGH HES THE BEST I NEED HIM SO BAD

THAT LAST BIT MADE ME SMILE

school was hard for me socially n I never did the homework, so cove would definitely help you do the homework even if you end up copying some of his answers

socially, like I said before he tries to take thr heat off you. and I agree he doesn't rlly get physical!!! but if someone is giving you a hard time he comes up behind them, puts a hand on their shoulder.. "why don't you stop bothering them?"

or will stand in between you and crosses his arms. cove isn't that scary but he doesn't care abt that, he just wants to protect you

will indulge in your complaints too!!! even shares his own complaints. AND BACK TO THAT SKIPPING THING

okay just to set the scene, let's say you're really stressed and end up having an anxiety attack or feel one coming on before class. cove pulls you to a secluded spot and you end up calming down and crying while he holds you, eventually falling asleep with your head in his lap while he stands guard.

after that, whenever you get stressed or tired. anything like that, he finds a spot you guys can hide and you'll skip class.

you try not to do it often since they'll end up calling your parents, but you treasure those little moments bc he'll share a snack or doodle w you, or even better play more hangman w you <333

will play tic-tac-toe in the middle of class!!!

also I love cove climbing thru your window fully dressed for school and he's like "so, what did you dream last night bc I dreamed I was a SHARK which was rlly cool but then you were a fish n I ate u and I woke up and cried-"

this man is crazy istg

omg if this is like step 3 n youre dating he'll walk you to all your classes and squeezes your hand goodbye bc he's too embarrassed to kiss in front of your classmates n teacher (definitely does it once on the cheek and RUNS AWAY)

yall never live down how lovesick you are I promise

OMG SENDS TERRI AND RANDY TO DELIEVER MESSAGES OR SNACKS N STUFF

once had terri deliever a little sticky note w a heart on it or smth and terri went "omg yall are so CHEESY EVEN WHEN YOURE APART" randy is giggling and teasing you too

omg imagine he's in PE and he sees you. he runs to the door or window and looks back and forth before he steals a hug or kiss (pls kiss him, if not you owe him 2 kisses to replenish his energy fully)

teacher: holden! get back here. stop making out w y/n!

cove: *jumps 10 feet* y-yes! omg.... I'll see you later y/n<3

#olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader

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enden-k · 2 months

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Can I ask what makes Arlecchino evil? I'm v much a villain enjoyer and like some morally greyness, but I genuinely didn't pick up on a lot of bad stuff with Arlecchino. She was super helpful during Fontaine and seemed to be the only powerful person who cared about helping the common folk when the water levels were rising.

I'm not here to start an argument, just wanna expand my view 🙏

dw didnt think u want to argue! i will also use this to say i wont tolerate arguments, this goes for everyone here

i will talk about sensitive themes under the cut (mentions of when i was groomed/emotionally abused by my adoptive father/mentions of abuse/grooming in general) so if someones not good with this, be warned please and dont click for your emotional comfort.

i really love arlecchino (theres also difficult, personal reasons ig) and id rather wait for her to arrive to get more information than we have so far through other characters/side quests/main quest but well.

her goals aligned with ours in the fontaine quest which is why we have the impression shes a good/nice person, especially considering our other meetings with the harbingers we met so far (signora, childe, scara, dottore) and the situations. shes very calm and diplomatic (lets see how it changes in the next update when we fight her)

but we shouldnt forget how the travellers on their toes the entire time/everytime they come in contact with arle. its because shes a harbinger after all. shes a danger. her graceful politeness and calmness is supposed to have you on guard, make your hairs rise. shes mentioned to be manipulative and shes manipulating others to achieve what she wants by being nice and calm. she has ulterior motives. we should be careful. this is my impression based on my own gaming experience and idk if it was the same w others, but bc of us being on guard around her i was always prepared for her to turn on us until the end of the main quest.

anw, arle is supposed to be intimidating and have you wary. even tho she comes off as nice and polite, having done good and helped in the main story. its bc thats what she wanted and you happened to have the same goal. also lets not forget scaras and childes thoughts about her which already tells a lot

she has two sides. the one we saw in the quest, the graceful, calm, polite face to get what she wants. and the other, the one scara and childe talk about here, the one they call "crazy"

not to mention her codename, "the knave". what does it mean? servant. what else does it mean? "dishonest/deceitful man". basically, swindler. isnt it perfect?

shes manipulative and whatever her "true" nature is, we dont know (yet). she may have "good intentions" here or there but will achieve them no matter what it takes.

as for the thing you can consider as bad; the house of the hearth is an orphanage that raises children into fatui agents. only those who have potential join the ranks while the others are kept close (its not known whats done with them afaik). theyre basically grooming/raising child soldiers/spies.

before the sensitive stuff comes up, for the ppl who dont want to proceed, arlecchino fools/manipulates you into thinking shes a nice person/good parent. its amazing and so in character for her. its also scary how some ppl cant see the abuse/manipulation unless you went through this too or well. just actually read and realize it.

arlecchino is an emotionally manipulative parental figure. now, this is coming from someone who went through heavy abuse/was groomed by their adoptive father who was extremely manipulative and i spot so many things very well known to me. others who went through the same get this feeling. these signs you immediately recognize.

you get punished for the tiniest mistakes and when you get loved, it makes you forget all that was done to you, just for that tiny bit of affection you crave. you try to do your best, to do everything asked and expected of you, not to disappoint the only parent you have and youre dependent on, to be a good kid deserving of love and when you slip up youre in shambles. there was a time i did a tiny mistake by accident and my father said to me in the coldest voice "you broke my trust" and i remember so vividly how it broke me, how i cried until i got sick. i was physically abused before and none of it hurt me more than this. it still gets to me after all those years. emotional manipulation is cruel

what im trying to say is, she came in a time of need. taken as a savior while it just is one abuser swapped out with another. like my adoptive father having me dependent, giving me love i never received and being everything i wanted, making me believe hes everything i need, a common thing abusers do. wanting to do everything youre asked of and do it good, the fear of disappointing and being punished, believing you deserved it bc its your fault and treating your abuser like a savior, being conditioned. this is whats happening.

now, arle genuinely loves and protects her children; its very clear that the life of the children matter to her the most (look at childes line and freminet/lynette etc) - she was one of them too after all. so, its possible to love and still do these. moral greyness etcetc

anyway idk if its understandable or if i can explain it in proper words while maintaining a good distance so ill add the voicelines of the siblings heavily implying this, and also a tweet adressing this that brings it to proper words, better than i can say

tweet here bc tmblr doesnt insert the link properly

#idk if i want it be rebloggable bc i cant predict if ppl who love turning morally gray/villanous chars into saints come yell at me but <3 #reply #rambles

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ask-the-totally-real-peppino · 3 months

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(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

#ooc post

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spacexseven · 2 years

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ok thinking about subordinate darling chuuya… I think we discussed mean chuuya together, but I can see the appeal of nice chuuya as well! I personally have a preference for mean chuuya because. reasons… but thats just me.

for nice chuuya, it would be a good cop bad cop scenario. dazai bullies you cuz he thinks its funny, chuuya swoops in to earn your trust. rinse and repeat. it might be out of true altruism on chuuyas part at first, but quickly devolves into more sinister intentions. I actually think this approach would probably kick dazai into gear a bit as the idea of darling liking chuuya more than him makes a cold dread settle into his bones. its a race for number one as dazai suddenly starts vying for your attention much like a child, with the hidden agenda of trying to rile chuuya up enough to get him to reveal the monster underneath the facade.

for mean chuuya… have you ever seen an old cartoon where two kids are fighting over a doll? and then start crying when they inevitably end up ripping it? yeah. both of them like you, neither one of them wants to actually admit this due to the fact they've convinced themselves they find you worthless and annoying up to this point, but they also don't want to give you up to the other. the tentative bond they formed from making fun of you together completely breaks in half as they become obsessed with winning, even if the prize is somewhat unclear. I think we get the concept of how DAZAI is mean by now, but chuuya is another beast. whereas dazai's cruelty, while unpredictable in method, is reliably consistent in intensity, motive, and frequency (up until his crush starts to muddle things); chuuya seemingly decides at random just how mean he intends to be and why. like, one day completely fucking up your given task only gets you jeered at and mocked, and the next making eye contact without permission gets you punched in the face. and some days he just acts like you don't exist no matter WHAT you do. hard to get a handle on, that one. he doesnt get "worse" when he realizes he likes you, just weird. like now he's a stereotypical romance anime tsundere about it. dork loser.

and uh, speaking of the doll ripping… if (when) dazai and mean!chuuya end up going too far… maybe they send you off on a mission that gets your kidnapped or almost killed… maybe one (or both) of them overestimate your resilience and give you an injury that cant be walked off… or maybe its just as little as noticing you're suddenly less combative and more timid towards them nowadays… you REALLY don't wanna know just how far they're willing to go to "make it up" to you. they might even work together on it, or maybe they'll try to sell the other one up the river and become your favorite. either way you're in for a ride. the idea of losing you will immediately make both of them drop all pretense, and what's underneath the "cruel, dismissive senior" act is NOT for the faint of heart.

- 🩹

honestly i think its likely they end up pairing up just bc these two seem to get a lot more done when working together lolol Hope this isnt too long :<

if chuuya decides to play the role of the good guy, it's mostly because he wants to piss off dazai, and maybe a little bit of sympathy knowing that you really stand no chance against your superior. the more dazai gets on his nerves, the more he stops by to check in on you, knowing it gets dazai all riled up and angry—but since he doesn't want you to know it bothers him, dazai's more likely to bottle up his frustration, and to chuuya it's hilarious. eventually though, you sort of...grow on him. there's something about your pitiful state after yet another one of dazai's stupid pranks or derogatory comments, something about the way you try to hide your eyes tearing up when you sense him coming behind you that stirs something in him. chuuya's fingers twitch at his side, wanting to reassure you. he wants to coo over you, like someone would to a whimpering puppy.

and suddenly, it doesn't matter if dazai gets mad—chuuya just wants to be there for you. if he learns that the cause of your sorrow is none other than dazai, chuuya's punches to him are more harder than usual, and there's something more hateful about the glare he seems to always have directed at the other. he tells you something embarrassing dazai has done in the past, helps you plan and carry out your little revenge, anything to make you feel even a little better. and the way you smiled up at him was worth all of it.

maybe chuuya convinces mori to let you come on missions with him more often; after all, it wasn't like dazai had some claim on you. he treasured the little moments together—the devious looks you'd share with him before a surprise attack, the delight in your eyes when you dig into the desserts he gets you, and even the way you seemed to dim a little when it was over and you had to go back to working under dazai. obviously, that meant you liked him more, right?

dazai catches on pretty quickly to this white knight act chuuya's got going on, and it really doesn infuriate him, chuuya acting as though he isn't just as bad as dazai. sure, he's all nice to your face, but only dazai's seen chuuya brutally beat up some other member of the pm for insulting you, and only he knows that chuuya sneaks into your room regularly. if all it took to win you over was a few sweet words and outings, dazai would have you eating out of his hand in a week.

it's overwhelming to go from your usual experiences with dazai to him suddenly all over you and bribing you with sweets and trips to the aquarium. it's even more confusing when you see chuuya fuming at the corner of the hall when dazai starts telling you about how terrible of a temper chuuya's got and how easily dazai tricked him before. he eagerly offers to show you exactly how scary chuuya can be when he's mad, and assures you that he has a much better grasp on his emotions compared to chuuya. it's crazy enough already without having them actually start to argue in front of you, but that's exactly where this leads.

now for mean chuuya...

initially, his whole attitude towards you is more of indifference, a little bit annoyed because if you want to make it in the pm, you'd need to get used to this sort of treatment quickly. sometimes, he might find your reactions to dazai's torment sort of amusing. eventually, he begins terrorizing you for the fun of it; messing with the files you're in charge of or insulting you to get beneath your skin (i seriously doubt he'd be as bad as dazai but i agree w the unpredictable thing. sometimes he's even nice to you)

oh...if they think you're getting distant for whatever reason, any previous semblance of privacy or personal space is shattered. chuuya bombards you with gifts sent to your apartment, dazai is all over you, chuuya makes it pretty obvious he's following you, and dazai in turn sticks to your side like glue.

eventually, their rivalry is garnering too much negative attention, which may push them to the idea of working together or their rivalry gets worse whichever works out is based on the circumstances, and possibly mori might have a say in it if he thinks that this is disrupting the workings of the pm too much. honestly. them working together might be the better option, since to a certain extent chuuya might be able to keep dazai in check. alone, they are unpredictable and uncontrollable.

#hghghg didnt add much to mean chuuya cos i think youve explored most of it already #anyways im very thankful for your asks here honestly gives me a good break from writing oneshots #but i still feel somewhat productive!#so thank you #yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #ask 🐟#anon 🐟#bsd 🐟#dazai 🩹 🐟#dazai 🐟#chuuya 🐟#subordinate au 🐟#yandere dazai #yandere chuuya

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tamelee · 7 months

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I think a lot of sakura hate is undeserved. Like ik she's said and done some things that were out of pocket, but then again so did almost everyone else and no one else gets scrutinized as much as her. I don't even like her and her fans are incredibly annoying, but I feel this much is true. I think she'd still be one of the most hated characters in all of anime if her undeserved hate went away, so it doesn't really make much of a difference. I feel like her hate is kinda like sasuke's, sometimes it feels like he gets hated on just for being sasuke bc ik some things he's done would've been swept under the rug if another, more popular character did it (eg when he killed some samurai) for sakura, there are lots of incel fanart memes dudebros made to make fun of her, so it seems like they hate her for just being a woman who rejected a loser man and likes a better man. It's no wonder her fans are so annoying, that's what happens when your fave character gets undeserved constant hate. My fave is sasuke and sometimes even I wanna do some petty annoying shit just to piss his haters off too lol. Also since she's a woman, there's definitely some misogyny at play when her character is being analyzed by men. Or even women with internalized misogyny. It's stupid to deny that, misogyny is the most normalized oppression everywhere. So many ppl don't even realize they're being misogynistic, that's how normal it is. Sure it's not always the case but ignoring it is just being dumb. Her fans using the misogyny card to actual genuine criticism is definitely stupid though. Like it's possible to not like a woman and not be misogynistic ofc. Also when they use that when sns fans ship sasuke with naruto instead of sakura, that's even dumber 😂 how is not shipping a woman with a man and instead shipping him with another man misogynistic in any way lol. But yeah, I'm definitely not on her fans side, or even a fan of her myself, but I can still acknowledge this

+ 2 Asks - long post:

When talking about critiquing characters and analyzing stories, it doesn't really matter who's doing the talking – whether they're fans, critics, or just people who love or don't love a particular show or character. We can't always figure out why (especially anonymous) people feel the way they do and how do we even discern the motivation or background of those who do so? —whether they're misogynistic, incels, dudebros, fans, or critics of whatever other stories, among other factors. In fact, in this case it’s pretty irrelevant? Or only relevant here because you brought it up.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t take away the fact that a significant portion of the 'Naruto' audience finds Sakura's character unlikable. She consistently is found at the center of conversations about the most disliked Anime characters. This is ultimately a reflection of storytelling, rather than solely an audience reaction. And that leads to a broader discussion about Kishimoto’s writing where many blame his lack of skill in writing when it comes to the portrayal of female characters. (Opinions may vary, so does mine.) Dismissing criticism by categorizing critics as incels or misogynists is oversimplifying it tbh because of course they harbor specific biases against a character like Sakura which in itself isn’t fair and would definitely make it ‘undeserved’. (I really wouldn’t use that term for a fictional character unless we talk about the story itself tbh.) You yourself say “not always the case...” So that doesn't mean Kishimoto's portrayal of Sakura or any other character, and the genuine criticism she receives for universally disliked traits, is any less valid. Many perceive her as selfish, and Kishimoto himself has used that specific term (and even worse) to describe her. So, you can’t deny that this foundation of her character exists. Her decisions and behavior make sense even if people preferred to see it differently.

Though, when analyzing, it is important to keep the Shinobi world in mind, and only our own as reference. And that’s exactly why the hatred Sasuke gets is not the same.... :

The amount of hate/criticism has nothing to do with a comparison though. Sakura's actions are often deliberately misunderstood, twisted to fit certain narratives that are in her favor and even exaggerated to counteract the hate like the first ask said. On the other hand, Sasuke is generally misunderstood and is hated for it. Often not getting even a tiny bit of compassion because some people struggle to see beyond his exterior and just ride the Naruto-verse’s moral/value waves from the narrative. Where the entire point was that those ideals needed change.

SAVE HIM!? Why is it always so actively ignored that Sakura tried to kill Sasuke twice but him defending himself or fighting back is ‘so incredibly evil’? This ‘resolve’ of hers becomes even more significant to Kishimoto’s message when we consider that she intentionally represents the same ideals that led to the genocide and with that- agreed to eliminate him without attempting to understand him even once. Repeating history in the meantime where, again, that change is necessary. And you start with trying to understand the other, something Naruto had to learn too and actively had to find that answer by himself. Never once did she actually listen to Sasuke when he tried to open up and instead twisted the few words he got out to make it about herself. Not only disregarding his (and Naruto’s) trauma but shitting on it, thinking he, of ALL people, would feel happy with her abandoning her family and friends for him and comparing her feeling lonely without Sasuke to his entire clan being murdered what forced him to grow up alone. I mean, hello? Kishimoto was saying something very loudly there and it’s nothing positive about Sakura and that certainly has nothing to do with a lack of writing skills, the opposite actually. Even if she was briefly a teammate, she rightfully became irrelevant to him, and her decision to get rid of the (in her and the world's eyes) “criminal” was entirely for her own sake because she couldn't bear to see her crush behave like one and deal with her irrelevance.

She rejected everything Sasuke wanted, needed, and desired, including his central 'why' in the story. She reduced him to a moody handsome boiii with no goals of his own, one she neither could nor wanted to understand. She tried to insert herself into his goals without him giving her any reason to, and when unsuccessful, she wanted to discard them altogether thinking he was ‘too far gone’. Like Sasuke as a person as a whole was her ‘burden’ to bear simply because she wanted to be somewhat relevant. Even Kakashi said it :/ although he thought she did it all out of the kindness of her heart. (Ffs, Kakashi I like you, but no.) Now, please consider EVERYTHING and then think again why Sakura thought of Sasuke as a burden or why she felt burdened by him while lying about her trust in him to Sai? 👀

The importance of Sasuke having a goal is immense because he grapples with survivor's guilt. A goal provides a reason to keep going, a way to carry the pain and blame he places on himself. It allows him to be strategic and have a plan, which is the only source of hope that things may eventually improve. He rejected what Naruto stood for because he found it distracting and hard to trust at that point. OF COURSE he fought so fucking hard against it. No matter his feelings for Naruto, relying solely on effort like Naruto wasn't something he could do. Especially considering how his beloved brother had betrayed him in the worst possible way.

Now, here's a question for you: why would Sakura need to receive compassion or 'deserve' it when, as a character, she rarely demonstrated it herself, especially when it comes to the person she claims to like so much? And if anyone thinks that was out of love in any way, which it wasn't, then what does it all mean for Naruto????

If you genuinely believe there was any point in the story Sakura tried to save Sasuke for Sasuke’s sake then I hope you’re able to read the story again and question this very rigorously for yourself. Not just her actions, but what Kishimoto tried to actually show/tell and use them to measure how it stands against the bigger Themes also.

Lastly: the whole point of needing to kill Naruto was BECAUSE he cared for him lol, read Sasuke's monologue again if it helps. That his bond with Naruto had too much of an impact on Sasuke. His one and only, his most important person/friend, only bond left that kept him from truly being alone, Naruto’s life in itself too much of a threat to his heart even when separated, blabla- should I go on? 🤔

#asktamelee #naruto talk #sasuke talk #dunno how else to tag this #I rarely want to talk about sasuke on my blog but #this became very pro sasuke and anti sakura jsyk #really had to vent a little xD

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vitearred · 2 years

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Help this still has me dying ur telling me kagiura looks like 913738 times hotter than he already is (he seriously had no business looking like THAT) from hirano's pov like that's literally the way he sees him and still he has yet to realize how gay he is are u fucking kidding me😭😭😭😭

like what the fuck is THIS???

I-💀

I have no other words just look at that, god he's so embarrassing and cuestionable and harusono really set him up when she decided to make him like this i'm never letting these things go, i'm gonna make sure he's getting made fun of to the end of times i'm sorry but just?$!$!'!!@!#!";*!"?'!:!'"?!!(

like really???? REALLY ur seeing him like that when he's motivated and doing his best (kind of what u previously described as something u want ur ideal marriage partner to be like, unironically TAKING KAGIURA HIMSELF AS UR EXAMPLE), u feel the urge to be as close to him as u can be and get to see more of that, u react like this, eyes all wide and sparkly, almost going speechless, when all of that is so clearly shown as the positive side of the effects of his feelings for u, when u get to witness the impact u have on him??? AND ur also getting similar effects bc what the fuck do u mean u "really want to study right now" to make sure it's possible for u two to stay together ("close and personal")??? u know u both basically boost eachother, and that's all u want, but ur unaware, u don't fully aknowledge it, u don't really have a conscious idea of what u want from a romantic relationship that goes beyond akwardly answering a random question just for the sake of it, u were vague with ur answer but u managed to bring the essence out.

But nothing regarding love is clear, the only thing u have clear is that u don't wanna be parted from kagiura and that u don't wanna hurt him, and i truly can envision all of this finally connecting at some point because it simply makes so much sense, what u want is there —ur just yet to know exactly what u want, and how it's already there; who u want it from, who makes u want it. THEM being together makes so much sense, and it's gonna be so easy then (after all the hard parts) because they just work. So powerfully, so beautifully: they work. And we see that, everyone around them probably does too, we feel that so intensely that it feels like a crime to not realize how much sense it makes for them to be with eachother.

That's why it inspires so much violence out of me when hirano is like this like i just need to hate crime him for putting me through this😭😭. It all has me feeling a lot (can u tell lol), but on the other hand i'm just so sure of them???? and i'm just waiting for them to meet me there??? Things just have to connect, and they will, because they are everything the other wants and it all just has to come together. And sometimes i just read their mess and while there's a big part of me reacting and screaming and

there's another that just absorbs the big picture, sighs like a very old and unconditionally patient person would(?, and just appreciates them for being the mess that they are, for bringing some drama into my life, living and learning and trying to figure things out even in ways that sometimes make me cringe and cause the dramatic part of me to want to rip my head off and put it in a blender. They're getting there and i trust them and love them as if they were my kids or something

And lastly, seriously WHAT is that face?? (no bc let me emphasize that, it has to be done) I'll tell u: that's the face of gay. Gay blush. Gay thougths. Everything gay. There's no denying the gay. Maybe he can try to deny it but the thing is he has no proof he's not gay meanwhile i have 17 chapters AND MORE to back me up, if he fights me on this i'll END him

ALSO, it does things to me seeing the way hirano looks and melts at kagi being all focused and motivated because KAGI'S NOT LOOKING AT HIM at those moments, he's just in the zone looking very hot and it hits hirano like a truck and he doesn't get to see hirano in that exact moment😭😭. oh my god this patern is certainly repeating a lot before there's a crash. Harusono's gonna have us on edge and i'm about to die bc i NEED kagiura to realize HIS POWER!!##!@?#!"!"! and exploit the fuck out of it, tho of course at first he's going to be a mess (they're both gonna be) but just imagine him starting to use that to his advantage, him knowing that he can do that to hirano and make him very flustered by showing him that he knows about it. Let me tell u, he's gonna be a menace and i'm looking forward to it

#gay gay gay #i chant into the mirror #and there he appears behind me #hirano taiga #hirano to kagiura #sasaki to miyano #kagihira #hirakagi #bl manga

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ncityavenue · 2 years

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𝙍𝙀𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎.

These are random things you'd do in a relationship with the members of NCT 127!

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TAEIL

Probably listen to random music, like you suggest some of your music to him and y'all just start vibing to it. Lowkey wake up the whole entire house bc for some reason y'all do it in the morning rather than the afternoon or the night😭(This is probably motivated by Taeil's relay cam where he dances to that hype music with Yuta💀). Shhh he's a The Weeknd fan now🤞🏾

JOHNNY

He gives the vibe of someone that just gets up and wants to go somewhere (Yuta as well) he'll just be like "Yo, you wanna go to that new restaurant that opened last week?" And it kinda doesn't matter if you say no or yes, you're going bc he persuades you anyway. Who knows? You might be featured on a ep of JCC🤭

TAEYONG

The Original plan was to watch mean girls but now y'all watching 365 days🚪🚶🏾‍♀️.... Then y'all watching Sleep away Camp#1. The point is that y'all never follow the original plan to dates(?) Or nights where you wanna relax together. BACK TO 365 DAYS😭 Y'all don't finish it bc Johnny walks in on y'all watching and he doesn't even really pay attention to it but taeyong is too embarrassed so y'all end up watching a horror movie👏🏾

YUTA

(THERE'S SO MUCH I CAN SAY ABT HIM—)

Y'all have deep conversations, LIKE DEEP. It can be about you guys, the world, friendships,social media, politics, etc. It always starts at 11:00pm way after everyone is already asleep and lasts for a good 5 hours..7 if you're lucky😋🤞🏾. Very touchy during the convos, that's probably bc Yuta is a very affectionate person. Then y'all end up being the last ones awake in the morning 🙇🏾‍♀️

DOYOUNG

Shopping is probably something y'all do alot, it could be grocery or clothing. He looks like someone that spends hours in a boutique FOR YOU😭 you're just like "no it's ok I like this one" and he's like "nooo but look at this one it's a nice shade of purple" like babe we said the first necklace was okay no need to get us 10 more🧐. Sugar daddy frfr🤞🏾 IM SORRY FHSJDVHSWVKD—

JAEHYUN

(Small small small angst but overload of fluff🤞🏾)

When he's mad at you, he's just dead silent AND THE DRYNESS OF HIS ANSWERS TO YOU IS ANGER INDUCING— But then he can't help but smile at your little sulking bc he's like "why was I mad at them in the first place🧐" but then he smiles even more when you try to get his attention by playing his favorite songs. THEN YOU START SINGING ALONG?? HE'S DONE FOR. Yeah by the end of the night y'all kinda forget why y'all were mad each other in the first place, WIN FOR EVERYONE👏🏾👏🏾 (or should I say winwin?? I'm sorry..)

JUNGWOO

Board games is must in this household!!! He's so humble about his very good techniques in games that it worries you a bit, you know he's the angel of the relationship bc if you were as good as him you'd be the most cocky person ever. THE THING IS sometimes he tries to make errors and try to suck so you can win. It's the sad truth bc you don't even realize until he tells you later on and THAT smirk appears on his face😭

MARK

Y'all look up 5 minute craft videos and watch them for hours while clowning it but somehow Mark is like "Dude, we should totally try this!" First, he just address you as the same thing he calls his bestie johnny and other members💀 Second, HE WANTS TO TRY A CRAFT THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE😭 and for some reason you agree bc you can't say no to his cuteness and his excitement. Y'all also watch 7 second riddles, and you turn it into a game where if one gets more right than the other; the Loser has to take table spoons of mayo,ketchup, mustard,sour cream, and ranch (I couldn't think of anything else) also Mark loses so...yeah!

HAECHAN

(Maybe suggestive)

Y'all occasionally go on Omegle 😭 idk y this strikes me as a haechan thing it just does, it's always 50/50. One time y'all pretended to have sex but it was of course off camera and someone literally started Jacking off to it, when the person finished they were like "good job guys, you should become adult content creators!" YALL LEFT THE CHAT TRAUMATIZED💀 that's why y'all go on there very occasionally it's always when y'all are drunk tho😭😭

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Wow would you look at that, me being not as chaotic for headcanons 🤭 Love that for me!❤️❤️😘😘

Anyways, This is the end of the black girl kpop Stan chronicles [BGKSC] for short..No? Okay. give me some suggestions (nothing weird plz🙂🙏🏾) BYE BESTIE BOOS 😋🤞🏾❤️

#nct imagines #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #mark lee #taeil x reader #johnny suh #taeyong #haechan #kim jungwoo #jung jaehyun #doyoung #nakamoto yuta #not as chaotic as usual

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