#and its just!!!!!!! some fuckin pixels!!!!!!!!!

[three-dee-ess]

Aforementioned Flipnote 

https COLON SLASH SLASH files DOT catbox DOT moe SLASH x7rw64 DOT jpeg

Sorry for weird link, I’m anonymous and shy rn lol

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

black DSi

#im not joking i was fucking decrypting the link and not really paying attention. i press enter and it does the fucking. #slow internet line by line loading. im holding my breath as it slowly gets down to the bottom screen #and its just!!!!!!! some fuckin pixels!!!!!!!!! #you can't do this to me #im actfually tearing up what the fuck man #asks #black DSi #DSi post

[hoejism]

these rp accs drain the fucking life out of me

#its ALL i fucking see n hear abt #every second of the damn day #its actually ruining my space. #it was fun coming on here but now i just dread it #its so tiring to see bitches fighting over pixel and tryna be #number 1 #and getting jealous #and acting weird #like UGHH #fuckin hell #these rp blogs have changed these bitches man #its actually irritating #n im glad some of my moots can agree

[bits-and-babs]

✦ 𝐏𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 ✦

– KINKTOBER DAY 1: CAMGIRL!READER

simon riley x camgirl!reader | smut, 18+ | 1.3k words

summary: a new client sends a request for a solo-cam performance. his lack of detail and scarce details leave you unprepared.

cw: f!reader, sexwork, dirty talk, breast-play, m & f masturbation, use of sex toy, use of honorific 'sir' but no real power dynamic.

⇽ KINKTOBER MLIST | DAY 2: TOUCH STARVED ⇾

❝On Deployment. Don’t be afraid.❞

Cryptic in its context, the message that popped up from your new client in the lower right corner of your computer screen made you smirk at the time. However, gazing at the skull-faced mask that materialised on the pixelated video screen when you answered the video call that swiftly followed, your amusement slips from your lips. Username ‘Ghost’ hadn’t been making some kind of arcane joke about the size of his dick being too much for you… 

“Oh,” you let out a weak laugh, eyes slipping over the grainy footage as ‘Ghost’ leaned back in his seat, immense, bulging arms crossing over the plane of his chest, “When you said… I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Can’t take off the mask,” the gruff, northern accent that rumbles through the computer speakers sends a ripple down your spine– a concoction of a nervous chill and delighted arousal. It metastasises in your guts when you watch him spread his legs, the blackness in the eye sockets of the skull burning through you even behind a screen. “The URA don’t take kindly t’people contactin’ cam-girls.”

URA. United Republic of Adal.

“You’re– On a military base?” The question passes your lips before you have the opportunity to think better. The plain black t-shirt stretched across his humongous frame gives little away, but the khaki-camo pants and the silver dog tags glinting in the low light of the room seem to corroborate his claims. 

“Can’t divulge that information.”

Of course he couldn’t. Obviously. 

“Y’can call me sir.” ‘Ghost’ clearly had experience contacting cam-girls, leading with his preferred address. It’s impossible to ignore that tingling arousal creeping into the pit of your stomach again, knowing you were in for a ride– so to speak. 

“Yes sir,” you answer to his demand, watching as ‘Ghost’ rubbed his palms over the top of his camo-clad thighs. You note the grainy blackness across the back of his hands; a tattoo. Most clients were secretive in their own camera-exposure, focusing the frame on their head and shoulders while pleasuring themselves off camera. ‘Ghost’s’ whole body was on display, offering just as much of a show for yourself. 

It was thrilling. 

“Lose the bra.” 

“Yes sir,” you nod, compliant to his demands. Reaching behind your back, you unclasp the lacy bra you’d chosen specifically for this cam-session. Your contact with ‘Ghost’ had been minimal, limited in the information he would reveal to you. It was entertaining this way, guessing at what you should wear like taking a crack at an enigma code. A shot in the dark; you’d gone for simple black. Slowly slipping the unadorned bra from your arms, you made a note of your victory when you hear–

“Fuck, that’s it,” ‘Ghost' mumbles beneath his breath, and you’re unsure if he was unaware of the sensitivity of his microphone, or if he’d meant for you to hear his whispered praise. You can’t find it in yourself to warn him when his palm settles over his crotch, inhaling sharply as he lifts his hips up to grind into it. 

Cupping your breasts in your hands, you squeeze the supple flesh so it bulges slightly between your fingers. It’s as natural as breathing now, a learnt behaviour after months of cam-work. Nothing special, but it gets ‘Ghost’s’ attention. 

“Hmm, fuckin’ ‘ell,” he groans softly, quick to work himself out of the khaki uniform trousers. You have half a mind to inform his superior that one of his soldiers had stolen a weapon from the armoury, watching him wrap his hand around his throbbing cock in a tight fist. “Get real close to the camera. Wanna see you fuck yourself, love.” 

You remember his initial request, much like his communications with you; simple and lacking detail. ‘Fuck urself w/ ur largest toy. Panties on’. Though, gazing at the image of him on your computer screen through heavy lids, you weren’t sure even your largest dildo compared to the girth he held in his hand. The ruddy tip is shiny, and you can just barely make out the shadows of bulging veins where his palm couldn’t reach. 

“Fuckkk,” ‘Ghost’ groans when you ease the tip of the toy in, camera angled just right to see you clench around the silicone but also to show your eyes rolling back. “That’s it. Greedy cunt’s swallowin’ it all. Look at you creamin’ around it–”

For a man so unwilling to talk much in any other set of circumstances, ‘Ghost’ was particularly mouthy now. Even as the head of the toy touches something mind-numbing inside of you, a delirious, breathy giggle escapes you at the thought. 

Beginning to push the toy in and out of your cunt, you watch ‘Ghost’ begin to fist his cock with a grunt. His eyes stay glued to the screen, enraptured by the way your walls squeeze the toy so tightly. It’s hard to miss the way his lungs rattle with unsteady breaths, the sheer size of him making a slight tremble appear like a shudder so violent it could trigger an avalanche. 

“Christ, I’d fuckin’ ruin you. Fuckin’ split you open and flood that cunt with my cum,” he moans, the sound wanton and wholely unmatching his intimidating size. It takes you a moment for your vision to focus before you note the slow, methodical rise of his fist, matching the strokes of the toy inside of you. 

Like he was imagining fucking you. 

Your own arousal spiking with the realisation, you thrust the toy inside of you quicker, more eagerly. It's ecstasy, the head of the toy spearing something inside of you that has your legs quaking. “Ugh– hhahah, ohmygod, oh fuck–” 

‘Ghost’ continues to talk you through your squeals of delight, his gruff voice particularly throaty now as he matches the violent thrusts of the toy. “Good fuckin’ girl, love. If you were here I’d fuckin’ paint your face with it– fuck!”

It’s like a chain reaction, the usually stoic man’s filthy comments causing a visible clench of your cunt when you cum around the toy. It makes ‘Ghost’ cum. White floods your vision, but the static sound in your ears can’t drown out the gruff, choked sounds that play from your speakers. 

When your blurred vision finally centres, ‘Ghost’s’ fingers are drenched with thick ropes of cum, the creamy spend dropping from his knuckles onto the khaki of his trousers. Leaning his head over the back of the chair with a shaky exhale, the black hem of the ski-mask rides up slightly, exposing the bulging veins beneath the pale, rosy skin of his neck. It’s a tantalising glimpse of the man behind the obscure username, underneath the skeleton-veil. Instantaneously, you’re like an addict– desperate for more, one hit isn’t enough to satiate the screaming need inside of you for another inch of skin. 

It’s why you leap out of bed at 04:27am when you receive a message weeks after you’d hit ‘end call’, the promise of your next fix delivered in a cryptic message deposited in a private messaging chat that had lay dormant since the footage went black. 

‘Want u on ur knees this time. Panties in ur mouth, fingers in ur cunt.’ 

Biting on a grin, you rush to answer. He was still in the URA, the digits on the clock in the top right of your phone evidence of a timezone difference. It was still relatively early there– like he’d finished his shift and immediately contacted you. Like he couldn’t wait to jack off to the image of you stuffing your cunt with your fingers and whining his name. 

Fuck the four figure amount he’d deposited into your bank as thanks for the last video call, the thought alone is enough to urge your fingers beneath the waistband of your panties, circling your clit as you clumsily type with one hand to respond to his demand. 

‘Yes sir x’ 

cod mwii/kinktober taglist:

@mortallyuniquepeach @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @crybaby-blue-blog @heart-atttack @pansa-1-san @maviee @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @s-u-t @ghostslynx @solidly-indulgent @glitterypirateduck @gummyfang @bii-aan-ckaa @konigsblog @crissteetee @crissteetee67 @sylvanasthebansheequeen @akaym2 @exploremyworldsm @thriving-n-jiving @su57 @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @tusk89 @bellasbees01 @dog55teeth

@mockerycrow @bubuslutty @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @levi-llama @thebiscuitsheep @maelstrom007 @alexxavicry @bug-sy-boy @glennrheesworld @kittenfrostt @luvfromkat @blingblong55 @whore4dilfs @wolfyland07 @doggydale @dog55teeth @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @whore-for-anime @i-love-ghost @cyberpr1m3 @mockerycrow @bubuslutty @lundenloves @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @babychoi03 @infectedkura @allekat1988 @whore-for-anime @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @mockerycrow @cyberpr1m3 @i-love-ghost @allekat1988 @infectedkura @babychoi03 @freakquenci @maviee @yunggoblin @sleepystaarr @watyousayin @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @damn-dean-blog @pheonyxmoon @magicalreviewphantom @limegreenbabx @johfaam0 @iaur @justsayk

@bloodmoon-bites @wiltedwonderland @doggydale @limegreenbabx @namelesshumanperson @ninahhh-brahh

#꒰꒰ ‧₊˚ my works ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #꒰ ‧₊˚ ghost ˚₊· ꒱ #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #cod mw2 #ghost cod mw2 #ghost cod mwii #cod ghost #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley fic #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley smut #cod mw2 smut #call of duty smut #modern warfare smut #modern warfare 2 smut #kinktober 2023

[applejarjar]

Yall I'm losing my goddamn mind

I hate technology with every fiber of my being

OK so I've been refusing to update my phone out of spite because of the annoying ass update pop-ups that could just be a notification instead

But I finally updated and now I've been spending the past like 3 days either disabling or removing all the pointless shit they added

One of which was the stupid ass charging animation that happens when you plug your phone in to charge, and yet again, turning off one thing has fucked up some other completely unrelated function

I had to go into accessibility settings to turn off animations, which apparently makes it to where gifs on good ol tumblr. com no longer automatically load

It is no longer an option to have them always load or load when I'm on wifi, like I literally cannot switch to these settings

WHY

#I am so tired of this shit man #And the fuckin settings don't match my app folders or app dash #Because they're default ugly ass yellow for some reason but I prefer the lavender #And was able to switch my settings but not the rest of my phone for some reason #And the big ass double line clock on the lockscreen was such a fuckin eye sore #I can't read time like that #So I had to reverse that shit #And now it's off to the side which isn't all that bad but it was centered so now I gotta get in the habit of lookin elsewhere #Fuckin charging animation getting in the way when I'm reading or doing literally anything on my phone #I feel like there was another animation they added that I had a grievance with but I can't remember #Why audio do a fade out now? Just cut that shit and move to the next audio #What a strange thing to look at and say yknow what this was too efficient before let's draw this out instead #I just cannot comprehend why they think this is stuff we need or want #Instead of spending time working on things that actually need improvement #Like the fact that I have to go into fucking files to see my photos on a pixel #It needs its own fucking app like gallery

[hellishjoel]

seven days, six nights

5.6k / pairing: joel miller x f!reader

← masterlist

summary: You get jumped in the QZ after a deal gone south and hide yourself from Joel to keep him safe. After eventually finding you and learning the truth behind your injuries, he heals you and promises revenge. 

warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), post-outbreak Joel, living in the Boston QZ, somewhat established relationship, mentions of falling ill, mentions of hunger/starvation, mentions of weapons, mentions of sleeplessness, descriptions of a fight/brief assault, descriptions of bodily injury, talking about medical shit (and I ain't no doctor, I used google, don't sue me) thoughts and descriptions of murder (… isn’t he just so dreamy?), angst, light fluff at the end, half-ass edited (apologies in advance)

A/N: So happy to practice some post-outbreak writing! Enjoy this angsty one shot (inspired by this lovely ask!) that I fuckin loved writing. Dedicating this to @macfrog, as I pictured this entire plot with pixel Joel. 

“Joel, I’m so sorry, I lost you the battery-” “Someone stole it from you.” He corrects, shaking his head as a sinking feeling washes over you. Your eyelashes flutter as you feel a droplet of water land on your nose. You glance up at the sky, seeing the clear summer day has turned into dark clouds overhead threatening to flood the city in rain. Joel doesn’t look up, he stays watching you. You can’t seem to meet his eye contact. “But the battery-” “Don’t care about the battery right now, care about you.” 

Joel doesn’t know where you’ve been. You haven’t returned to his apartment in the QZ for days. He keeps track. Every time the sun rises and shines blistering beams of light into the quiet apartment until the moon replaces it and casts light silver streaks between the torn-up pieces of newspaper taped to the windows. Another day gone.

You had a routine. Make the smaller drops or pickups on your own, return to Joel, and report back to him with anything you think he might find useful or interesting. Five days ago, he sent you off to negotiate a truck battery with that West End District piece of shit, Robert. He shouldn’t have let you go alone. Fucking smugglers, you couldn’t trust any of them. Hell, Joel was even surprised you trusted him at first. He regretted not insisting on being by your side, even if it was just as your personal attack dog to keep Robert  on his toes. 

Despite Boston being one of the more “well-managed” QZs to still exist, the black market that emerged from it was just as strong. That’s where Joel came in. He figured if he could smuggle himself into one of the most protected quarantine zones in the country, he could smuggle just about anything else. 

Drugs, weapons, ammunition, illegally forged paperwork, counterfeit ration cards, you name it, and Joel could work it in or out of the city.  Joel’s reputation was usually enough to keep you both out of imminent danger as he became popular with not only the inhabitants of the QZ, but also with fellow smugglers. You all needed each other to stay alive, in one way or another. 

Don’t be mistaken; the Boston QZ wasn’t perfect. It went through its fair share of scares. Food sources dwindled occasionally, leaving people angry, starving, and rebellious. Fireflies were a constant nag on depleting military resources. The fighting never truly stopped. This partially made Joel’s life easier. When times got tough, people searched for Joel to procure particular goods to help keep them afloat or, more importantly, alive. 

That’s the problem Joel ran into after spending a night in FEDRA lock up. He was the one in need of supplies. 

Joel was sick. Not infected sick, not cordyceps sick, some kind of infection he got from poor sanitation in the lock-up that attacked its way through an open wound Joel had gotten. He didn’t know if it was from work duty or from the recent street attacks, hence his stay in the FEDRA lockup. No matter where he got it from, an infection in the bloodstream wasn’t easily curable. 

The doctors, what very few the QZ had, were scarcely treating the sick due to a lack of supplies. And Joel was only getting worse. 

He was fighting a high fever, his breathing was fucked, as was his heart rate. Only a few days into his symptoms, he was crashing. He was damn near on the devil’s doorstep. He wasn’t made for heaven’s gates. 

Joel didn’t have friends in the QZ, but there were certain high-powered people who needed items smuggled, too. And the guards paid him well to keep his mouth shut about what he saw going in and out of those gates after curfew. That’s why when one of his more popular clients heard Joel was an inch from  death, they sent you. 

You burst through his apartment, the door nearly flying off its hinges as you fled to his bedside. He pushed you away with what little strength he had at first, the infection was making him lose his damn mind. His skin was scarlet red, and he was clammy with sweat. He didn’t know you, you didn’t know him. But you weren’t going to let him die. 

“Joel, I’m here to help you, hold still.” 

Then you started your search, tearing Joel’s clothes off one by one until you found the sizeable cut on his upper bicep near his shoulder, a huge scrape from a metal blade that had gotten infected. The man had tons of scars, all in varying sizes, shapes, and places on his body. You didn’t know his past, but his body told his story. He was a fighter. 

Your fear was how far into sepsis Joel was. Any further or even just a few hours later, you might have witnessed his organs begin shutting down. 

Despite his hazy state, Joel was struck by your amount of supplies. You weren’t a Boston QZ doctor, he would remember a face like yours. It took a smuggler to know a smuggler, and you dealt in medical supplies. 

Joel passed out not long after you got there. You caught him up in the morning, you never left his side. You monitored him, kept checking his vitals, pumped him with water, shoved antibiotics down his throat, cleaned his wound before it could fester anymore, and tried to regulate his body temperature. This could have been a lot worse. It should have been a lot worse. 

This was your first time experiencing Joel Miller’s tenacious stubbornness. He wouldn’t fucking die, not last night, and not today. 

A few weeks later, with Joel improving, he picked up on you around town. The way you blended in with just about everyone else. Not much slipped past Joel these days with his eyes like that of an eagle. But you slipped right through his fingers, didn’t even know you existed,  despite running the same territory. 

That’s when he decided he wanted someone like you on his team. Not just for your medical skills, but the type of supplies you ran was in high demand. You never did tell him where you got it, or how it was funded, all he had to know was that you were in. And you have been in ever since. 

Joel introduced you to heavier smuggling, like weapons and bundles of cash. Even people for the right price. He taught you how to make fake documents of verification and how to forge other paperwork. This was a lot bigger compared to your clean syringes and medicine. 

You learned a lot from each other. You taught Joel patience, and to thank you for saving his life, he taught you how to orgasm in less than five minutes. 

The relationship you shared, if you could even call it that, wasn’t strictly a romantic one. Both of you were too guarded for something like that. But also, life was too short and unpredictable right now not to crave pleasure to erase the pain from the past. 

It was hard to admit, considering how independent you’ve grown since being accepted into the Boston QZ, but you were thinking about Joel in ways far beyond a slightly romantic relationship. He had protected you and cared for you in the Joel sort of way that’s hard to read but you know exists. 

Joel worked extra hours to hand you off extra ration cards, shaking his head and not looking at you when he said it was no big deal, just take’em. Or when he didn’t want you to stay in spare housing, he offered to let you live with him in his nicer, non-shared apartment. It was a small slice of heaven in this fucked up world. You liked him, hell, maybe it was more than like. 

That’s why when you got jumped by Robert’s guys on the way back to Joel’s with the truck battery, they damn near killed you. They left you passed out in the alley. Robbed you of your ration cards, stole back the battery, smashed your head so hard into the brick wall you had passed out. All you wanted to do when you came to was crawl to Joel. So you did. You were outside his door, beaten and bruised, about to knock. Then you just stood there and spiraled. 

You listened from the other side of Joel’s door to the floorboards creaking as he paced the old wooden beams. You were late and left him worried. He was waiting for you to come home. 

The thought made your stomach twist. You looked like shit. You knew what Joel was capable of. One look at your bruised and bloodied face would send him flying down the street with a rifle in his hands and a pistol shoved in the back of his jeans.  You couldn’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in a war with Robert. 

Joel was smart, a hell of a lot smarter than Robert, but their smuggling operations varied greatly. Robert was an arms dealer, with henchmen all around the QZ. Joel only worked with a handful of people, he kept his circle small. If Joel went after Robert, you were more likely to find him dead in the street than anything else. And you couldn’t do that to Joel, not after all he’s done for you. 

If Joel saw you hurt, he would kill Robert. He’d kill anyone that laid a finger on you. No one touches what’s Joel’s. Not merchandise, not weapons, not the pills he smuggles in and out of the QZ, and certainly not you. 

So you tiptoe back down the stairs and run to the spare housing blocks just before the curfew alarm sounds. What Joel doesn’t know won’t get him killed. 

---

Joel stands in line during the heat of summer, ration cards stuffed in his back pocket as he waits with others in the queue for a tray and some food. The dining hall was packed, and by the looks of other people’s trays, the food was low again. All he can think about is how he worked extra shifts all last week to get more ration cards for both of you. Without these cards, you were going hungry. You were supposed to be by his side, where were you? 

By day six, Joel was restless. He didn’t realize how accustomed he had grown to having you in bed beside him. All he could picture during his sleepless nights was his body spooned in behind yours, the heavy weight of his arm curled around your waist, being able to sense even the tiniest of movements. You’d push off his arm in the middle of the night, telling him that you just needed to use the bathroom or get some water. 

It wasn’t always like that, though. Sometimes, you have nightmares. Ones that left you shooting up straight in the middle of the night, gasping for breath, crawling backward in bed like something or someone was chasing you. Joel didn’t know everything about your past and vice versa, but he knew wherever you came from before Boston was a different form of hell. He would hold you in his arms, console you, wipe your hot tears, lay your head on the warmth of his chest, and tell you to level out your breathing by listening to the beat of his heart. He held you in his arms until you eventually fell back asleep. Most of the time, you’d wake up and wouldn’t remember a thing. 

What if nothing was wrong with you, and you just realized you didn’t want to be with someone as broken and battered as Joel? He didn’t make being in his company easy. He gave you a lot of shit, pushed you to the limits, told you on more than a handful of occasions he just wanted to be left alone. You’d ask about his daughter, the one he sparsely spoke about, and he’d bark at you until you regretted even thinking about her. He didn’t make things easy on you, but Joel did care about you. Even if he was shit at showing it. 

He pushed you away, maybe you took the hint and left him. 

On day seven, he started asking around about you, something he saved as a last resort. The less you two were seen together, the better. You had him worried sick, and he was damn near ready to raid Robert’s warehouse to see if he had taken you, made you his girl against your will.  

That was until he caught a glimpse of you going past the market. It didn’t take much, he recognized your figure and trailed you with his eyes.  You were walking towards spare housing, with a heavy backpack and a sweatshirt on. Your arms were wrapped securely around you, and your head was down. 

He navigated through the crowds, jaw tight, putting down heavy steps on the broken gravel road as he pushed people out of his way with a guided hand on their shoulder. He followed you out of the crowd and down the street lined with stone barricades and rubble from a recent building that was raided by patrol on the hunt for Fireflies. You turned sharply down an alleyway, and Joel followed you, needing to see if you were okay, looking for answers. 

As soon as Joel took the alley, he was attacked and harshly shoved backward, his shoulder blades smacking the red brick wall behind him. A small switchblade was then shoved against the protruding vein in his neck, heated puffs of breath leaving him. He initially panicked in the moment, his hand tightening around the wrist that held him there.

“Why the hell are you following me?” You bark at him, head still lowered. Joel’s eyes narrow at the sound of your voice. 

He speaks your name.

Your strength relaxes, and you lift your head up to see you had pinned Joel. Shit, you thought one of Robert’s men was following you from town. You let out an exhausted breath of relief. 

“You’re really holdin’ me up with the knife I gave you?” Joel asks. He smacks the back of your hand, reflexes making your fist open up and lose the grip on your switchblade. Joel snags it with his free hand and glares at you. He takes the opportunity to shove your forearm off his chest, the one that was pinning him against the wall, and sending you a few paces back from the force he exerts. He hesitates but folds the blade back into the handle, and offers it back to you.

You let out a sigh of relief to see that it was just Joel. But this was still a problem. 

You retrieve the switchblade you accidentally surrendered to him and stuff it into your sweatshirt pocket. You cross your arms and look away to the entrance of the alley. “What the hell are you doing following me, Joel?”

He lets out a scoff through his nose and shoots daggers out of his eyes that you won’t meet. “What the hell am I doin’? Where the hell have you been?” He tries not to bark so loud. You won’t stop staring at the entrance of the alley, and Joel’s not sure if you’re thinking about running or thinking about being ambushed. 

He grabs your arm and drags you further into the alley, sunset on the horizon. He brings you to the back of an old school that was ready to collapse. He pushes you back against the wall and stands close, too close. 

“Answer me, what the hell happened to you?” His voice shoots goosebumps across your skin, low and growling for answers. 

The grip he has on your arm tightens and washes a flood of heat over your injured arm. Your mouth hisses with hurt, trying to breathe through the pain. You shake him off of you and clutch your arm lightly. “‘M fine, Joel, I can manage.” 

You’re speaking with a break in your voice that Joel can’t quite place. The hood you’re wearing is working overtime to shield your face. 

He pauses before he slowly looks over you. “Why are you wearin’ a sweatshirt in the middle of summer?” 

The silence he’s met with only leaves him more curious. What are you hiding? He swiftly pushes the hood off your head before you can stop him, and he’s not prepared for what he sees. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, his large hands delicately coming up and caressing your cheeks.

You sigh and roll your eyes. The skin around your right eye is blueish-purple. You lightly twinged at the contact, no matter how delicate he was being. “It’s not as bad as it seems, it doesn’t hurt-”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Joel mutters, lightly taking your chin between his thumb and index finger as he angles your face from left to right, allowing him to get a full look at the damage done to you. You glance down at his broken watch for comfort, the band fraying and the glass shattered, but he still wore it. 

You can’t exactly explain why your lower lip starts to wobble. It was so hard to stay away from Joel, to distance yourself, but it was all for keeping him safe. Your small fists lightly clutch the button-up shirt he’s wearing around his abdomen, finally feeling a slight sense of security. 

“Joel, I’m so sorry, I lost you the battery.”

“Someone stole it from you.” He corrects, shaking his head as a sinking feeling washes over you. Your eyelashes flutter as you feel a droplet of water land on your nose. You glance up at the sky, seeing the clear summer day has turned into dark clouds overhead threatening to flood the city in rain. Joel doesn’t look up, he stays watching you. 

You can’t seem to meet his eye contact. “But the battery-”

“Don’t care about the battery right now, care about you.” His thumb gently examines the cut on your lip. You curl it inwards to stray from his touch. “Robert do this to you? His guys?” Joel’s asking accusingly, and you know better than to lie to him. You swallow the growing lump in your throat and gently nod, blinking back tears. 

His face grows taut with anger, his brows furrowing and the creases in his forehead are set in stone. His jaw is clamped shut while he grits his teeth. Joel’s probably thinking of a million scenarios of how to put Robert down. Which way would last the longest, string out the torture, make him apologize to you, and beg for his life. Make him apologize to Joel for ever touching a hand on what was his. 

“Joel, you need to take a breath. Focus.” The last thing you wanted was for Joel to go on a rampage tonight in search of Robert. “I’m fine, this shit happens. We’ll get back on track and-”

“Can’t believe they let you live.” He murmurs, taking a look at the damage that he can visibly see before lightly sighing and releasing your face. You’re quick to pull the hood back up and cross your arms in front of you as some sort of shield. 

His eyes are sunken in, his chest is lightly heaving as he tries to sort through his muddled thoughts. The rain is starting to scatter more, hitting your muddy sneakers and Joel’s dark denim shirt. The setting sun meant curfew was just around the corner. 

“Come on. We’re goin’ home. Need to take a look at you in the light." You hesitate but his eyes are pleading for you to just let him take care of you.  So you let him. 

---

You travel up the same staircase you did just a week ago, limping and injured, broken and feeling guilty. Joel needed that battery for the truck. He was going to leave Boston and go to find his brother, Tommy. Neither of you had discussed if you would come with. For Joel, you think you might do just about anything for him if he asked. 

He stabs his key into the lock of his door. You hear a crying baby in a neighboring apartment, it was probably startled awake by the blaring of the curfew alarm. Lightning and thunder crack outside as Joel pushes open the door. You follow him inside and set down your backpack by the door like you usually do. Another strike of lightning makes his apartment flood itself with white-silver streaks of light, if only for a moment. Joel flips the lock back into place and hits the switch to the one overhead light in between the kitchen and the living room. You’re sweating up a storm in your sweatshirt. 

Though living in Boston’s QZ wasn’t great, you had to admit that not every quarantine zone had clean water and electricity. Joel had an old standing oscillating fan that was stationed at the foot of his bed during the summers since he ran so warm all the time. He said he traded about four or five meals worth of ration cards to get it, said that it was considered a steal. You shed the heavy material of your sweatshirt and sit tiredly down at the end of his bed, closing your eyes as the fan wicks away your sweat and cools your face. 

Living in spare housing the past week was hell. You barely slept. The homeless, sick, and injured all found their way to spare housing. You weren’t safe there. And you didn’t have any ration cards to your name. You had to trade one singular, perfectly clean syringe to afford four rolls of bread. It was all you could get at the time being. Everyone was fighting for work, knowing ration cards and food were low. Since you were still somewhat new to the QZ, you weren’t given privileges. You laid on a nasty, old cot for a week. Joel’s small apartment was heaven. The solitude was peaceful. 

Joel was standing at the sink, water running over a cloth as he stared down at the water circling the drain. He needed to take a breath, set his anger aside, and get you to talk. 

Joel wrings out the rag, loose droplets of water splattering in the sink before he sits down at his small wooden kitchen table. “C’mere.” He whispers, taking your attention away from the fan. You slowly stand up and make your way to the table under the central light in his living room, sighing softly as you slowly sink into the accompanying chair. Now in the light, he observes your injuries closer. 

Without your sweatshirt on, he can see bruises and scrapes along your arms, residual blood on your knuckles and under your nails. His little fighter. He notes that your tanktop is a bit shredded, and he fears the worst. 

You catch him staring and intervene. “Don’t worry. I didn’t let them get close enough to touch me like that.” You glance down at the sweaty tank top and lightly tug on the hole. “Just got this while I was running away, trying to hop a fence.” 

Joel frowns and slowly works his eyes over you. “‘S not like you to get caught. You’re pretty damn fast.”

You held down a bubble of laughter as your fingers played with the fraying material of your top. “Yeah, well, they already got one or two good hits on me, so I was a little hazy.” Your words don’t settle him. They infuriate him. 

He brings his attention to your face. Your eye must have been swollen at one point, but it wasn’t anymore. The puffiness had gone down, and the bruises were in their final stages of healing. You have another more prominent bruise on your cheekbone, black and blue, but it’s not broken. That’s good. The cut on your eyebrow and the matching one on your lip catches his attention. A man with a ring. 

“Red hair? Crooked nose, missing a front tooth?” 

You blink a few times rapidly, curious as to how the hell Joel knew the characteristics of one of your attackers. 

“How did you…” You start to say until your words trail off, shaking your head in confusion. 

Joel sneers lightly and brings the wet rag up to gently dab at the cut on your lip. “Not a lot of men are stupid enough to wear a ring that basically signs their name on whoever’s face they’re knocking in.” How he describes your fight makes you flinch and shift uncomfortably in your chair, evading his eye contact. “Sorry.” He mutters quietly. “His name is Chase, Jase, somethin’ stupid like that. One of Robert’s guys.” Joel’s words lightly flitter off as he shifts his attention to your lip once more. 

It was still swollen and angry. You probably tried to eat with it still agitated and delayed its healing. But you know this already. You ate because you didn’t have a choice. It was that, or starve. He hated knowing you were roaming the streets in a horrible hunger, especially when he had ration cards waiting for you at home. 

Your eyes twitch closed as Joel’s wet rag rinses the blood out of the cut on your lip, the old excess blood lightly trickling into your mouth. Your tastebuds catch the tang of metallic and salt. You did what you could with the medical supplies you had, but you didn’t want to waste on yourself what you could potentially sell. If you were avoiding Joel for a while, you needed to be able to make trades of your own. You did use some supplies to clean the cut on your head. You were lucky the wall you were thrown into didn’t leave you with a concussion. 

Joel is still wrestling with why the hell you didn’t come home, why he had to go out and find you. Why, why, why? Why did he let you go alone? Why did the deal go south? A terrible feeling soured his stomach.  Robert’s men were ruthless, they must have felt kind enough to let you live. Or it was a message to Joel from Robert. You’re next. 

Joel wasn’t scared of Robert, but for them to be scared of a young woman was a mystery for the masses. 

He tosses the rag down on the table and stands up. “I’ll fuckin’ kill ‘em.” He grunts up, his lips snarling and his nostrils flaring in heated fury. 

He storms to the kitchen and impatiently fills up a glass of water. Joel was fantasizing about plunging his thumbs into Robert’s eye sockets and squeezing until his head turned into mush. Or maybe Joel could take him to the Eastern district, throw him in the Massachusetts Bay, and hold him underwater, only bringing him up from the brink of drowning before pushing him down again. And again. And again. 

Your sweet voice breaks Joel’s murderous thoughts. “Joel, I owe you the battery, and I promise I’ll find another one. Just give me a little time and-”

Joel slams the glass of water on the counter, the clatter of it echoing around the room. “Don’t care about the damn battery!” His back is to you, broad and strong shoulders heaving lightly as his head hangs low. His hands are gripping the edge of the counter. “Thought they fuckin’ kidnapped you! Or worse!”

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, your lower lip wobbling once more as he slowly starts shaking his head. 

“I almost lost you, and it’s my fault.” 

Your eyes soften at his words. He’s felt this way before, and he’s been haunted by the mistake ever since. His daughter, you think. 

His low, southern drawl makes you focus on him once more. “Tell me why you hid. Why didn’t you come to me? We could have figured things out, for fuck’s sake!” He shouts as he turns to face you, his body falling back into the counter as he crosses his arms. 

Your chest swells with heavy emotion. You stand up so fast from your chair that its sent scraping backward. “I did come here! I did! I heard you inside and I..” you pause and shake your head, still finding your voice. 

“I was scared you’d be upset with me letting someone steal the battery, I was afraid you’d go after Robert and get yourself fucking-- killed, Joel! I don’t want you to die, okay? I need you!” 

“And I need you!” He shouts back, lips parted with heavy breaths, both of you trying to settle with the newly shared revelation. 

You both stare at each other from across the room, watching as Joel’s jaw slowly begins to click loose. He shoves himself up off the counter and closes the distance between you two. You hesitantly take a step back, and he pauses his footsteps. His eyes soften, and he looks as broken as you do. 

“Please,” he pleads, gently shaking his head. “Would never hurt you, baby.” He puts his hand out, a gesture of kindness and warmth that you’d missed all week, yet you still hesitate. You almost wait too long, he’s already reeling his hand back into his side. 

“Joel,” you whisper with soft relief. You eagerly take a few steps forward, ignoring his hand, and gently settle your head on his chest as you tightly squeeze your arms around his lower back. You close your eyes and melt into him, finding solace in Joel’s embrace. 

Joel’s arms stay hovering in the air for a moment, lips parted as he looks down at the top of your head. He shames himself for even hesitating. He puts one hand on the side of your head and holds you to his chest, while the other settles low on your back. He breaths peacefully for the first time in a week. 

You stay like that for who knows how long. He’s warm, and you feel protected. You sink into his arms, he takes on your weight. He walks you backward to the foot of his bed once more, letting you delicately fall back into the mattress. You watch with tired eyes as he unties the laces of your sneakers, one after the other. He shucks down your jeans, making you giggle. 

“Joel, you don’t wanna fuck me right now, I smell like spare housing.” 

The right side of his mouth twitches up as he shakes his head at you. “I know you do. ‘M takin’ you to shower.” 

You sit up on your elbows as you smile a bit bashfully at him. “Good. Because I’m too sore to fool around anyway.” You whisper with a teasing smile as you grab the bottom of your tank top, peeling it up and off of your sticky skin. Joel tries not to stare. You’re not sure if he’s clocking your naked figure or the bruising around your ribs and legs. 

You’d need some time to heal. Joel knows you do. While you shower, he makes you as big of a feast he can muster up with the canned goods he has in his cupboards. You try to eat the first real meal you’ve had in a week slowly, to savor the taste, but you end up shoveling your spoon into the bowl and scraping it clean.  

Joel’s eyes are on you the whole time, watching you, observing you. He won’t let you out of his sight for a while, but maybe that’s what’s good for you. You meet his gaze and he speaks a silent vow. We’ll find Robert, steal the battery back, then kill him and anyone else who laid a finger on you. He nods. You nod too. 

Joel’s not sure how late it is by the time you two fall into bed together. He doesn’t know how to tell you how much you mean to him, but he says it in the way he holds you. Back in his arms, he’s more alert of how sore you are from your fight. He gently cups your face, watching your eyes slowly flutter closed with long blinks. You must be so tired. And he doesn’t want to keep you awake. He’s afraid to look away, like if he lets you out of his sight, you’ll disappear again. 

He speaks your name and gently stirs you awake. “Hm?” You softly murmur, bringing your hand up and gently feeling over the planes of Joel’s chest, fingers lightly grazing his chest hair. 

He looks down at you for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “Don’t run away like that again.” His words are stern before he pauses again,  lightly pushing some hair behind your ear and touching you like a delicate flower. You watch him attentively. He cups your jawline and angles you to look up at him.  “We’re takin’ that battery back, and we’re gettin’ the hell out of here. You hear me?” 

Your heart swells at his words. We. You slowly nod in agreement. You feel Joel’s gentle kisses on your forehead and the tip of your nose. You lean up to capture his lips, but he falters by an inch. A confused expression crosses your face. 

“You’re hurt.” He mutters, referring to the cut on your lip. Don’t wanna hurt ya, sweet girl.

You roll your eyes and take his face in your small hands. “Don’t care.” You whisper before you pull him in, and the two of you share a featherlight kiss. You let it last, both of you soaking it in after a week apart. A week too long. 

Joel’s the first to pull away, giving you a playful little glare. The bruising on your face reminds him of the boxing movies he grew up watching. “Easy, Rocky.” 

You look at him confused and cock your head. “Who?”

He rolls his eyes at you and sighs, gently running his hand down your side. “Go to sleep. I’ll teach you about Rocky one through five tomorrow. D’you at least get a few good hits on Robert or his guys?”

You hum quietly and let your eyes dip closed. “Mhm.”

“Like I taught ya?”

“Just like you taught me. Gave ‘em the ole left, right, goodnight." You bring up your fists to demonstrate. "Made Robert’s nose bleed, think I broke it.”  

Your head falls into Joel’s chest, feeling it rumble with laughter and a sense of pride. “That’s my girl.”

His body shields you from the outside world. You sleep like a rock for the rest of the night. You live another day, and so does Joel. But with Joel’s promise, you know Robert’s days are numbered. You’ll be sure of it. 

---

here's my masterlist!

follow hellishfics and turn on notifications to see the next time I update!

#joel miller #joel miller smut #the last of us #pedro pascal #joel miller x f!reader #hellishjoel #joel tlou #tlou #joel miller one shot #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel miller age gap #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #pixel joel

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

--

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

__

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

#the maze runner #the maze runner fanfic #tmr #tmr newt #newt x reader #newt imagine #the maze runner newt x reader #the maze runner newt imagine #the maze runner newt #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie-sangster #thomas brodie sangster x reader #dylan o'brien #reader insert #text au #modern au #newt x reader au #fanfic #the maze runner imagine #newt tmr #thomas brodie-sangter x reader #hi #idk #reader is funny #tbs #tbs x reader #tbs imagine #thomas the maze runner

[pleasestopthese]

this upsets me! it's at the fucking codec level! they put it all the way in there! this is a fuckin argument for blu-rays if i've ever seen one.

listen: film grain isn't noise, it's signal. each grain is functionally a pixel and the more there are in a given area – the higher the resolution – the more clear the image is. what they're doing is, interpolating film images to make them more clear, and then having whatever device the user is watching on generate some random pixels as noise.

it's fucking weird! also just for whatever reason adding workload to end users' machines to watch a fucking video stream off a server, it's deeply weird. paying some other guys for the privilege of doing extra work yourself! is it clever? no, they artificially bump up resolution to make the compression easier and then have you artificially bump it down at your expense. is it efficient? as far as end users are concerned, what's the fucking point of efficacy? you still pay more and you still need a high bandwidth connection.

it's fuckin weird.

interframe compression is the devil. intraframe compression, where each frame is compressed on its own without reference to what comes before or after, that's that good shit, and it doesn't give a fuck about randomness from one frame to the next. they use it in the best blu-rays, they use it in digital cinema, they used it in fuckin laserdisc with the analog compression 😩 we can have it in files, too.

anyway, torrents over vpn. storage is cheap.

#video #film #compression #netflix

[swearingcactus]

pain receptors and frayed nerves

“I hate you.”

V doesn’t really mean it. His head’s too fucked right now, the pain from the relic just pushing and pushing, clawing its way on a spot behind his eye. He’s just sick. He’s just trying to say things to alleviate the pain. He doesn’t really mean it.

Johnny knows this, could practically taste the fog in V’s brain firsthand. “Come on, kid. Get up.” He coaxes, he wants to put his hands out, push and pull V up from his curled up position on the dirty concrete. He holds out on it. Might make the episode worse. “At least try to stand, get some fresh air.”

“No.”

“Gonk next to you’s gonna piss on you if you stay here a second longer,” Johnny tries making light. It doesn’t work. V just sniffles, curls into himself even worse.

“V, come on.” Johnny prompts again, his tone’s not as snappy as he wants, worry starting to lace the words. When V doesn’t move, he goes to put a hand on V, who jerks away sharply. Blue pixels scramble and Johnny glitches away, sighs as he comes back into focus.

“V–”

“Stop it. Just stop.”

“We need to move.”

“Just leave me alone.”

All this bitching isn’t cute. Johnny has half a mind to start his own bitching, knock it off. Get your ass up. We don’t have time for this. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we figure out a plan to get to Mikoshi, the sooner you feel better.

“Come on, V. Let’s go.”

V’s all pain-receptors and frayed nerves. No coherent answer comes out and Johnny starts to think about the pseudo in his pocket.

“I hate you so much.” V says, unprompted, and Johnny stops all thought of the pseudo, like a knee-jerk reaction.

“Haven’t you ruined my life enough already?” V asks miserably, and Johnny looks up to see he’s opened his eyes to make contact.

He doesn’t really mean it. Right? Johnny thinks he doesn’t really mean it.

“V.” Johnny says again, and it feels less of a name and more of a plea. V scrunches his face hard. Then coughs, spits out some more blood. Goes to push himself up, staggering and balancing himself next to the wall.

Johnny’s heart flutters with some sort of relief, maybe pride, a sense of fuckin’ finally combined with thank fuck.

“I wish you were dead.”

This one’s easier to stomach. But Johnny grimaces and tenses at what he knows will come next.

“I wish I was dead.”

Johnny needs to believe V doesn’t really mean it. That it’s just the pain talking. That he’s not all there.

“Come on, V.” Johnny coaxes again, nods his head to the open space. “Come on.”

V sniffles and rubs his eyes blearily with both hands. Then sighs and starts walking gingerly away. A few steps and breaths later, with fresh air, V opens his mouth, “When I said I–”

“I know, V.”

He doesn’t, actually. But it’s easier for both of them if Johnny does the thinking and convincing the both of them that he doesn’t mean it. A broken mind’s enough trouble for V, no need to add heart into the mix.

also posted on ao3

#wrote this in like an hour during one sitting #idk what came over me #its a bit short than i usually write too but hey i miss writing these 2 so off to ao3 it goes! #writingcactus #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #lil guy v

[sage-the-unwise]

i don't think i talk enough about how much i love rain world? it's genuinely such an impactful piece of art, both for me personally and like, generally. it's not often that my autism tractor beam is fixed upon something so genuinely good, but to this day i feel like i was blessed by some divine hand by encountering that switch release trailer four years ago. there's love in every pixel and every bit of code and it shows so fucking much, and it's not just beautiful, its philosophically rich too... if there was ever a game to call a bonafide work of art its fuckin rain world. no other game i've played was powerful enough to make me a slugcat in real life

#the further along i get with this video essay the more insane i become #sage screams incoherently

[comvi]

Fuckin finished but tumblr over here wont let me send longer files (FUCKING MY LAsT THING WAs 50 sECONDs AND NOW YOU DONT LIKE ME sEDNING 5O sECOND ONEs?! GRAHGHAHG)

EAA WOOHOO!!! thank you so much again !!! genuinely, this was so sweet of u <3

i cant quite put my finger on what it reminds me of… like i said the last time, it gives me the vibes of some pixel games like UT & yume nikki. BUT now that its finished, it reminds me of something else, aswell? im kinda getting comfy/cozy vibes, but the type that would almost be mixed with like, “darker” themes (but specifically in the way you would be friends & just chilling with the monster under your bed)

NOT sure if this even makes any sense, just my brain thoughts <:03 REGARDLESS HUG HUG THIS IS SO SO NICE!!!!!!

#asks #myposts

[cinamun]

Things Fall Apart is a masterpiece, the way you write everything has me crying or cracking up or hot and bothered like Darren?’ Give me his fine ass! Or Juan?! I’d like to be in the middle of them 😉

Sadly I can’t like or rebolog the post’s because it takes me to tumblr.com on mobile, but I want to say that this is THEE best story I’ve read, I’m on chapter 13 and just fjsjjejd this story has me in my feels.

The CC and mods you use are so fucking dope and Indya please I would let her sit on my face she’s so pretty and funny and cute I want her or I want to be her, not sure yet.

I wanted to say thank you for the craft and dedication you’re putting into this, it’s so awesome and you’re very talented at story telling and creating Sims! I can’t wait to se where this story goes….

I hope you get your cat ate from the front to the back because miss. ma’am this is some high quality shit.

FRIEND!!! Not from the front AND the back??

Purrrrrrrrr I hope so too becaue its been forever chile.... also OMG Thank you so much! These are top tier compliments and I don't even know what to do with myself at this point but run around screaming! Also yes, tumblr's mobile links suck ass but I'm so glad you are enjoying it. Chapter 13 out of 22!! Not bad and WOW we're still going strong after all these years lol

I really appreciate you love, and I love that you love what comes out of this wacky little brain when i'm playing around with these pixel people's livelihoods lol they've definitely seen some shit fuckin with me!! Anyway, we're still going strong not only because sims 5 looks wack asl right now, but also because this is my hobby and literally the only creative outlet I have. Basically y'all are stuck with me!

#enjoy the rest of the ride #chapter 21 is a monster #whew! #story stuff #love you friend!

[elsfairy]

hi.

on the topic of sevika playing video games, her playing minecraft and rage quitting after getting blown up by a creeper 💀

this made me laugh pls 😭😭

"Yeah, babe. Nah, I'm not mad, this game is fun, and it's relaxing too─ motherfucker, shit.. you fucking asshole! BABE this game sucks!"

almost breaks something...

I get the feeling Sevika tries to square up to a fuckin pixel.... like its that funny to me for some reason... just imaging her annoyed, angry scowl... ik you're mad and all baby but you look cute as fuck right now

sigh

#sevikascrown #sevika #arcane sevika #sevika arcane

[insaneiceshard]

Pokemon Pixel Font(Black & White 2)

BOY YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I'VE HAD!

Alright first things first here's the font I made, you'll understand why it's here later! PLEASE shoot me a message if the link doesn't work, that last thing I'd want is a dead end for a poor artist.

RIGHT, so I've been working on a Rain world AU where all the RW characters are placed in the Pokémon universe. I've already drawn Rivulet's sprite but I wanted to put them on a game's UI just to make it look realistic. I looked online and Pokémon B&W2 looked the best and I can make animations for the slugcats as well! When I downloaded the UI and got to work replacing all the text, I realized something very unfortunate.

Pixel fonts fucking SUCK.

Every single fuckin one gets labelled as "8-bit" or "meant for pixel art!" BUT THEY'RE ALL LYING TO YOU.

I haven't scoured the internet but the most popular ones look nice, but as soon as you scale them down to anything below 12 pixels they look like absolute dog-shit. This isn't horrible, for most people 12 pixels is enough! but when you're trying to replicate a game's Ui...

I tried adjusting the alphas in Krita, applying the text in Paint, scaling the image and then applying the text. NOTHING worked. The core issue was that Pokemon B&W2 had it's own custom font and nothing I could make would look anywhere close as good.

At this point my autism got activated (if it hadn't been already) and I had the brilliant (downright shit-brained) idea. It would just be easier if I made the font myself.

Good god I wish I had just looks a bit harder. I still have no idea if someone has done what I have, and I'm still too lazy to look!

I made the font. I scoured for tons of screenshots from dozens of websites to replicate every single character down to the pixel. I kept having issues where my font heights where constantly getting bigger and smaller. Spaces that used to be 3x3 were 4x3 when I looked back. I chocked this up to my disabled ass not being able to count 9 pixels. 10 pixels, no- now its fuckin 8.

I need you to know that at this point I had been working on this for 4 hours. 4 hours of squares and numbers. My brain was reduced to fucking mush. And then Gamefreak took the mush, put it in a blender, and fed it TO THE FUCKIN VOID SEA.

Different consoles used separate fonts. You can tell because the UI's are different everywhere the characters are sightly shorter. This makes sense, If you have a smaller screen, reducing the font size by a pixel could save you some valuable space! But at this point it had already done it's damage on me. I'm not proud of it but I cried. I have no idea which characters had been effected because I used so many different references that I just gave up. On top of all this, the games have something weird going on with the shaded parts of the text and the only way I could somewhat replicate it was to use 3 different text layers.

So. To anyone out there who specifically needs the Pokémon B&W2 font, you have it now. It's not perfect, but it'll do.

I hope no one has to go through what I did.

Ever.

oh- and here's what the final product looks like.

#rain world #pokemon #pixel art #long post #vent #?

[frostbite-the-bat]

what do you do in petz + how the fuck is spam tong in petz

ok, so! petz, or in this case, PF Magic Petz specifically, is an old, OLD pet simulator game from the 90s! it's made to run on doo-doo potato computers, and uses it's own wacky technonogy called, and bear with me, "ballz", to render the pet models.

there's other games by pf magic, but we'll focus on petz. before they became stinky ubisoft petz. (ubisoft bought petz) nono ignore that. this is PURE FUCKIN' MAGIC PETZ! (thats what pf stands for)

you adopt a dog or a cat... and you take care of it! and unlike most modern pet sims - your pet truly has a personality of its own. for the game's age it's actually surprisingly complex, and the community is finding new things each year! i believe just last year (or two years ago??) we found out petz have FAVORITE COLORS.

each pet is unique in their own way!! signature animations, favorite foods, what relationships they have with other petz, how you've trained them... one pet may love being fed cheese, while the other may not.

of course there's also personalities for each breed, as each breed has it's own personality. i can't explain this one well, so give this a read!

i used to play petz a lot more back then, nowadays i just check in on it sometimes, but the genuine connection you may get to feel towards your silly guys is real.

fun fact i only adopt cats. i dont do my breeding from scratch but the guys i adopt from other people or PUGS (petz universal game site) (i hope i got that right) i dont like the sounds dogs make. i still need to finish graphics for all my cats. heres some of them. i love them.

what really makes this game is the community! it's a small, but surprisingly lively and friendly community! many of these people may even be twice your age, enjoying this silly pet game online with everyone, it's wonderful! the game is very moddable, and people make their own breeds, toys, areas... anything you think of, it can be put in this game with enough time and creativity!

some people make realistic, breeds, and some people make Silly Guys! like me for example! i'm really into fan-made media petz! it's how i got into the game, after all! i've made some hexied (modded petz) of my own!

ralsei is my best example. gif taken from my site

also, most people around the petz community have their own websites! for their downloads, shows, or to show off their petz!! what you can do is endless. i made my site because of that, though it's in constant disrepair and i SWEAR one day i will move to neocities.

and yes!! shows!! people do shows!! you can pose and take pictures of your petz and it'S actually a very pixel precise thing, trying to get your pet to do a show pose! people do these shows on forums and even give each other little graphic trinkets like badges!!

speaking of graphics... STAMPS!! petz fans love stamps!! i collect some, too, but my collection isnt as impressive as some other people.

people even have stamps for their own sites, that's where these come from!!

already creeping to petz spamton, dont worry!

but about petz hexing, i wanna give a shout out to the skinstealer system at the bad_death site. i admire their work so much. check it out!!! i reblog their things sometimes. (well..on my petz blog but i'll start doing so here, too)

ANYWAYS. PETZ SPAMTON. WHAT IN TOON IS THAT.

Well. you prolly werent there for it but petz spamton took some places of the internet by storm and OH BOY WAS IT BOTH REALLY COOL BUT ALSO VERY TIRING SOMETIME. im not the creator, i do not take credit, however i am partially responsible as that entity was created on my server. (after my friends talked about the reanimated joshua and the promised land video from saberspark - its a big collab and we talked about the people who worked on it. one of them was Moonkitti who has a petz profile picture. i then left the convo but my friend who i wont name so they feel comfy <3 remembered petz and had the wonderful idea of Modding Spamton Into It.)

i was graced with being able to see THE BEASTS PREMIERE. AND LATE AT NIGHT, WATCHING A DISCORD CALL OF THIS THING BEING BORN, SCREEN RECORDING IT ON MY PHONE.... LATER USING THE FOOTAGE TO MAKE This Infamous Video.

petz spamton doesnt look like this anymore its had many updates. (you can see the history on my spamtons as id update a new one and keep it with certain updates!! for example otterpop doesnt have colored paw pads, but mango does.) but this is the original. i had an og adopted as well but i lost it </3 BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES BACK UP YOUR FILES. I MISS YOU CHEESE-TON.

and WELL.. PEOPLE LIKED THIS MOD...! much much fanart... and even some drama uh oh please people dont sexualize feral animals. thanks. go to hell and die. it was both very fun but as you can imagine it got overwhelming especially for my friend so i am keeping them anonymous!! they do have a sideblog for petz just named "petzspamton" if you want to see The Og.

it got many people into petz!! it was wonderful to see people discover this old game. hell! even i got into it this way! though as trends are, they usually go away eventually. i stay however because im ill. hashtag number one spamton pet breeder. dont take it the wrong way. i like spamton mixies.

oh yeah! the breeding in this game! SURPRISINGLY VERY COMPLEX. WONT BE GETTING INTO IT. but! two petz can have a baby! including modded petz! it can create Monstrosities. but some are niceys! i like both the cursed ones because funny but also getting some niceys to keep :) i have many mixed spamtons!!

for example iceshock (white) and creature! (grey)

the possibilities truly are endless !!

but yeah. the hype died down but its always funny meeting people, talking about interests, we get to deltarune. I mention petz, then they say oh yeah petz spamton i know that AND THEN THEY REALIZE WHO I AM "YOU MADE THAT SPAMTON VIDEO" BRUH IT HAS 4K VIEWS ONLY LIKE HOW DO YOU FIND THIS SHIT . THIS HAPPENED ONCE OVER SOMEONE I MET ON A FUCKING CLUB PENGUIN PRIVATE SERVER. i do not like micro fame but oh my god this shit is always so fucking insane and funny to me i love it i love being a fucking cryptid. BUT ANYWAYS

things layed dormant. petz spamton server dead as hell. my own server #living tho #gaming #swag #iamruinbornaftonialwayscomeback.

and then... THEN... SPAMTON SWEEPSTAKES OCCURS. AND THERES A PETZ MENTION THERE. DID WE CAUSE THAT? OR IS IT TOBY JUST LIKING OLD GAMES AS HE DOES.

WELL READ MORE HERE BECAUSE I TALKED ABOUT THIS ON MY WEBBED SITE !

BUT YES. SPAMTON IS IN PETZ NOW. IM PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE. ITS PROBABLY BEEN REFERENCED BY TOBY FOX??? IF YES THEN I HAVE 2 NICKELS FOR HAVING A THING IM RESPONSIBLE/PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING NOTICED BY THE CREATORS. NOT A LOT BUT WEIRD IT HAPPENED TWICE.

PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY SPAMTONS. I LOVE THEM.

but man if i may get goopy orizfhhguguughh ill be fr height of petz spamton hype got Tiring .im sosososos glad the server we had for it was tiny as hell and secret because MAN. URUGHH

#[answered] #long

[monasticmaestoso]

I am curious. What r your top five video games

WHOOPS I only just saw this now lmfao sorry

I'll stick to one game per franchise but u can assume im recommending the whole series

5. Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee

One of my two biggest childhood influences. Ps1/PC puzzle/platformer/adventure game about a funny blue guy escaping from slavery when he discovers his whole race is about to get butchered and sold as food products. Gets back in touch with his native roots and gets granted spiritual powers to help him free his fellow captives and topple capitalism while killing hundreds of cops along the way. There's no guns but there are grenades occasionally. Or you can possess the cops and make them use their guns to kill other cops. And then blow themselves up. Has a ton of sequels and a couple remakes, ports and remasters on PC and just about every other console. Cannot recommend enough. Also you can fart on command this game has a dedicated Fart button you use it for communicating (and then in the sequel you can possess farts too)

4. Myst

The other childhood influence. This game and whole series made me a huge wanderlust slut. Point and click adventure, puzzle solving, world exploring, journal reading. Some puzzles will definitely have you Stumped (but feel free to hmu bc I still have the first game memorised like the back of my hand and am happy to offer guidance ^^) my fave is actually the third game Exile, but I gotta pay respect to the OG. It's full of images and sound effects that remain engraved in my brain in vivid detail 20+ years later

3. Bloodborne

I'm actually not talking abt the whole "series" here I dont rly care much for dark souls etc. It's just this one lmao. Love the tone, love the gameplay, love the level design, love all the horrid monster designs. Love the Rally mechanic discouraging you from hiding and playing safe when you should be going full throttle wailing on everything as fast as possible. I love learning to party attacks with a firearm instead of a shield. I love the blood vials system. I love the doll I love Eileen the crow I love lady Maria I love all the funny little creachurs and most of all I love dying and being dead

2. Final Fantasy V

This ones kinda personal and maybe a bias I guess but idk this was my first FF and even now when I go back to it it just Hits Different somehow. Maybe it's nostalgia/bias but even comparing it to the other pre-ps1 FFs it's just got this vibe of its own. The music helps ofc the music is so fuckin good esp the new pixel remaster arramgements. Anyway it's a nice fun story about Four Complete Randos And Their Grandpa And Pet Chicken And Pet Dragon And Pet Sea Serpent And A Gay Pirate Gang And A Furry And Also A Tortoise At One Point who fight against a Giant Evil Tree that spent like a hundred years absorbing all of the most Evil souls in the world and now he wears a big blue suit of armour and calls himself Exdeath. He wants to conquer and kill and maim and destroy and eventually suck the entire world into The Void for no other reason than he's evil and loves being evil and badass. Not a whole ton of complex plot depth but that's why it's so approachable as a FF game. Also this game is where Gilgamesh and Battle on the Big Bridge came from, plus Omega and Shinryu, so if you like those then you're obligated to play this one. Also one of the main characters is a genderfluid twink with a thing for silver foxes and another is a non-binary/transmasc pirate

1. Kingdom Hearts

I couldn't not lmao. The entire series Of Course but also in this case I specifically mean the first one. Again it might be nostalgia bias but the first KH just has this unique charm to it, this warm atmosphere that none of the others have been able to replicate. Traverse town feels like a second home to me

#kingdom hearts #final fantasy v #bloodborne #myst #oddworld #maestoso #ask

[jbt7493]

not all art has political content because political content is the wrong way to view it. it is subjective. you can view it as a cute girl eating a burger, you can consider the implications of a japanese girl eating american food, you can analyze it as a girl eating a burger in a way that shows she is effortlessly cute and highlights her small stature, you can focus on the burger and go oooough that looks so tasty i wanna eat it, you can even go ‘that is not a girl eating a burger, those are pixels on a screen’. you are free to interpret things in a thousand different ways.

and political analysis is generally easy to justify applying to things, because in order to make a piece of media, you need to live a certain way. and while obviously literally every political topic has some relation to the context of the production of a piece of media and to the ideas that went into its production, the  impact of those influences can be more variable/contextual. not everything was *strongly* defined by gender roles or geopolitics, relatively speaking. all anime is strongly linked to the history of japan and the rest of the world and its developments in styles, themes, and production methods. but thats just all anime, so if you’re comparing a specific anime, that anime was probably less *specifically* influenced by those things in its creation as much as it was influenced by other anime and has had so many levels of zeitgeist and cultural development since then that it’s not as useful to discuss when talking about average individual works from similar time periods and genres. if you were comparing old and new, different genres, different cultures etc, those cultural developments can become more relevant. and while you may often see a huge influence from things like religion, etiquette, or gender, if the creator is of the majority in their culture, they *may* not have paid much mind to those things while making it, and so it becomes more of a general comparison, since it wouldnt have very much distinction between its influence from those things and any other work from the same subculture in that time.

but while your mangaka are gonna be majority cis straight japanese japanese guys and thus the analysis relating to gender sexuality race and nationality is probably either relevant because of a very broad culture or time analysis, because they are an other, or because their work has a distinct relation to those categories (and with all of these It Depends how far you’re zooming out and how precisely you’re comparing and contrasting things), they will probably have something in common that does distinguish them from a different Average (or, rather, ‘One’) Person In Their Culture-

theyre a fuckin mangaka! they have a different job! and anyone with an arts career will almost always have a pretty distinctly different relation to politics and the economy from the “Average Person” in their culture. now of course, so will a lot of the “Average People”, but we dont actually see as many films from hobbyist filmmakers as professional ones, so it would mostly be accurate to say that ‘filmmakers have very different work from the average’, and this relatively intense difference in context from the rest of society and culture is noticeable, especially since almost everyone who makes the art you view, even in the same culture and society as you, interacts with the economy differently *and relatively similarly to each other*. so it’s often very relevant to bring up.