#and now i'm weird in very specific ways about it and i really don't expect people to know that without me telling them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loganlermanstanaccount · 1 year

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Show me where it hurts (part 1)

Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader

(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist

summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.

warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo

a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D

(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)

edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(

wc: 3.6k

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You think Miguel is avoiding you.

One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.

"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."

She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.

"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill for…"

"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.

"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."

He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."

"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"

"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"

"I don't have time for this-"

"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"

"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.

"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."

"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."

This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.

"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"

"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explain…. later."

"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."

He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "

Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"

When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.

"I just…. don't want her to see me like this… Lyla, it's not happening… I can't tell her…." Tell her what, exactly?

Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.

~~~

Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.

He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.

Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.

"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.

Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.

"What happened?" He strains.

"I don't even… it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and… " She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"

"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it off…"

"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"

Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.

"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down… Jess, tell him that I can-"

"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."

Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.

"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."

When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.

You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.

"You should… mierda ! You should be resting in bed."

You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."

"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."

You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"

He shrugs. " 'Course I was."

"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.

"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.

He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.

"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumatic…"

"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"

"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"

"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"

"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"

"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "

He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.

"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"

Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.

"I don't… I d-don't…?"

"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"

Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.

"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't… we can't lose you."

"Miguel-"

"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."

"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."

Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."

You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.

"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."

You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.

~~~

The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.

The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.

You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.

"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"

"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.

You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.

The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.

"Ow… ouch … Dad's on the phone, honey."

"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"

"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"

"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."

"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."

"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."

"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"

You hum.

"Could've sworn Lyla cancelled…"

"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."

He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"

"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just… uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."

"Naturally…"

"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."

"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"

"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, and…." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."

"Shit."

"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."

"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks… "

"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."

" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."

"Good to know. I'll see you around."

He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.

Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakes…

You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better.

On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.

"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.

"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.

"Uhh… hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"

"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."

"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"

She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."

Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more… his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge… in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"

"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."

You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"

"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."

"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me… I could just ask questions?"

She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."

"Did I do something? Not just today but… last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"

"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is… complicated." She gestures around that word.

"I'm a little confused, Lyla."

She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.

It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.

Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and again…

"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "

You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."

"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."

Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.

"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"

"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."

"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."

"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."

"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."

"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"

"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."

The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."

"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."

With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.

#miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #across the spiderverse #kat_writes😼#this gif is fucking crazy btw

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strangersteddierthings · 1 year

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What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Alright y'all. We had the hurt, let's get some comfort started.

Steve leans against his door, expecting Eddie to follow him upstairs to continue their argument because Eddie's never been one to back down from an argument as far as Steve can tell, so he's using his weight to keep the door shut. It takes about five minutes of just leaning against the door before he hears a few light knocks on the door. He pretends he didn't hear them and soon starts to hear Eddie monologue-ing on the other side. He thinks he hears a 'sorry' and an 'I fucked up' but he doesn't really tune in until Eddie says something about cancelling Hellfire.

Spinning quickly, he yanks the door open and says, "You better not fucking cancel!"

"What? Don't you, like, want me out of your house?" Eddie looks startled and sounds confused.

"What I want is for the kids to get to play Dungeons and Dorks for an afternoon, just getting to be kids and fight against monsters that can't actually kill them," Steve says as he goes to put his hands on his hips (a move that Robin calls his Bitch Stance) but realizes he can't while still holding a book, so instead he folds his arms across his chest, cradling the book to his body.

He waits for Eddie to call him out for saying dorks instead of dragons, but Eddie just blinks at him, quiet for a moment before he says, "Oh. Uh, okay then. I'll just, uhh, I'll be back closer to noon, then. For the game."

"Don't you have prep to do?" Steve knows he's trying to pick a fight now but he's angry, and sad, and hurt underneath it all. Also, he doesn't understand the change in Eddie suddenly. Ten-ish minutes ago Eddie had shouted back I wasn’t exactly wrong, was I? You were a jock, a bully even! Where is that anger now?

"No. Not, uh, not really," Eddie says, avoiding meeting Steve's gaze, face turning a very light pink. "I was- I mean, yes, there was prep, but I did a majority of that already and what's left will take maybe three minutes so..."

Steve's confused now, still trying to cling to his anger. "But you called and asked if it was okay to come early specifically for that reason."

Eddie doesn't respond right away. He turns around to walk to the wall opposite Steve's door and thump his forehead against it. Steve is perplexed by the behavior (but he's been perplexed by Eddie since finding him at Reefer Rick's) so he just watches in silence as Eddie heaves a sigh and turns around to slump against the wall, facing Steve once again. He runs a hand through his hair, then drags that hand back forward and down his face. "Yeah. I did do that."

"So, what, you lied? Why?"

"I just wanted to hang out," Eddie whispers, like it almost hurts him to say out loud, which is such a weird thing to hear because it makes Eddie seem small in a way Steve's never seen him. Even during spring break Eddie was never small or quiet; his fear manifested as shouting, for fuck's sake. It chips away at the last of Steve's anger. He's long past the days of kicking someone when they're down.

"You... wanted to hang out," Steve repeats before heaving a sigh of his own, long-suffering man that he is. Maybe it is time to bury the hatchet and actual deal with this. If nothing else, it'll result in Steve being less defensive around Eddie when everyone hangs out, like for movie night or BBQs. Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to so he says, "Listen, I think we've got some shit to hash out, or whatever, so that should probably be done or, like, things are going to be weird when we all hang out, but I can't do that right now, man. So, stay or go, just make that game happen at noon. I'm going to stay up here."

Eddie nods, weirdly sullen and quiet again, as he says, "Yeah. Umm, maybe after the game? If you're feeling up to it."

"Sure. After."

Eddie raps his knuckles against the wall behind him twice before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. He pauses to look over his shoulder and say, "If you wanna watch, or listen in, or something, I don't think anyone will mind." And then he's heading down the stairs.

Retreating back to his room, Steve tosses the book onto his bed before flopping face first next to it. He groans into his comforter before reaching for the book. He props himself up on his elbows and stares down at the cover before opening it to see Christopher's handwriting on the inside cover.

It's been years since he thought about Christopher and even longer since he's laid eyes on the books. He was so sure his mom had just gotten rid of them. All this time, they'd been right where he left them, shoved just far enough back to be out of sight on the shelf. His last link to Christopher.

That's not true, Steve scolds himself. His cousins, Amber and Robert, are still alive and in Washington. His grandparents still live on that farm in Michigan. Steve just hasn't seen them since the funeral.

He hadn't gone back to the farm the summer after freshman year, or any year since. His parents thought he was old enough to stay home for a whole month in the summer alone now, instead of paying to ship him off to his grandparents. Steve's old enough now to know that was why he'd spent a month every year out on the farm; so his parents could go off on longer work trips. Once they'd decided Steve was old enough to stay alone for the summer, that quickly reached other seasons and by the time Steve was a junior, the were gone more than they were home.

He doesn't even remember when he last spoke to them in person. He thinks the last phone call was right after Starcourt. It was just to make sure Steve got to job hunting, since his place of employment had burned down and the bills wouldn't pay themselves. Which is true. He doesn't have to pay rent, but all the utilities are in his name now.

Jesus, he doesn't want to be thinking about them.

He goes back to the book, flipping through the pages absently. Halfway through the book he finds a couple folded pieces of paper tucked close to the spine. He doesn't have to open them to know exactly what they are.

It's the character sheets he'd made.

He closes the book back atop them and rolls over to face his ceiling. He wants to call Robin, but the phones are downstairs and he doesn't want to go down there just yet. He also kinda wants to cry. To get rid of all these emotions about Christopher, and Freshman First Day, and Eddie.

Fucking Eddie. Who haunts Steve's thoughts more than he'd like because despite the grudge Steve has been holding, Eddie has been fun to be around and so good with the kids, especially Dustin. Fuck, after having watched Dustin break down when they thought he was dead- but he'd had a pulse. It was weak but it was there.

After Eddie'd been cleared of the charges and the months rolled on into summer, they'd spent lots of time together as a group. Steve will admit he tried to avoid Eddie as best he could (he knows he's petty, okay) but could still see how he blended smoothly into their group.

If this Eddie had been the one he met on Freshman First Day, instead of the dick that mocked him, they might very well be friends now.

That's the crux of it all, Steve thinks. That he wouldn't mind being friends with Eddie if not for that bottled up grudge he'd been holding onto. He can't bring himself to let it go and Steve's not even sure why. Thoughts and feelings aren't something Steve processes quickly, and it usually helps to talk it out with Robin. She lets him stumble through his thoughts, and doesn't mock him for messing up, or mixing up, words.

Goddammit, if he's really going to try talking this out with Eddie, he's going to have be open and honest and maybe a little vulnerable and he doesn't know if he can do that.

But he'll have to. For better or worse, he can't just keep Eddie at arms length. They need to either come to the conclusion that they can be friends, or not, and then go from there. (Also, he knows that Dustin will never let him know another day of peace once he learns that Eddie and Steve don't get along as well as he wants them to.)

In the end, Steve's not sure how long he just stares up at the ceiling but a sudden shout breaks him from his trance. It sounded like Dustin. Hellfire must have started.

Steve leaves his room to go lean against the half wall of the hallway, so he could look down to the dining table where everyone has gathered to play. No one notices him, so Steve sinks to the floor and turns, so he can lean against the wall, closes his eyes, and listens in.

The room below is filled with noise. Shouts of excitement, and groans of pain, and sighs of relief. Dustin yells at his dice when it rolls a Nat 1. Mike curses up a storm over a barely missed perception check that makes the party fall into a surprise round. He hears Lucas whoop happily and then what sounds like him taking several victory laps around the table.

He used to be an imaginative kid, able to easily conjure castle, and knights, and dragons in his mind's eye. Listening to Eddie describe a new location, or NPC, or monster makes it easy to bring that part of himself back. Eddie is descriptive and uses so many voices that Steve would be embarrassed to even attempt. But because Eddie is being descriptive, so is everyone else at the table. Erica has adopted an accent of some sort for her character. Dustin and Will go into great detail describing what they want their character to do. The older members of Hellfire do the same, and one of them is using an Irish accent that if he used while talking to Steve, he'd would think it was his first language.

Steve's not sure how long he sat there, long enough that they've taken a snack break and are back at it again, before he decides he might as well watch, too. He gets up and goes downstairs. There's a pause at the table when he wonders in and plops down on the couch. He makes eye contact with Eddie and offers a small half smile. Eddie grins back, and starts back into the game, pulling everyone's focus.

Watching is interesting. He gets to see the Party jab at each other, or lean over and whisper about something. It's nice, to see them being kids. Having fun.

They end around five and Steve is surprised at how quickly five hours had passed.

"So, Steve, how was watching your first DnD game?" Dustin asks, pausing on his way to the door to do so.

Steve considers teasing him, but he goes for honesty instead. "Pretty interesting. It might not be my last time observing. I gotta see you get killed sometime, right?"

"Rude, Steve. Rude," Dustin is grinning though.

"Tell your mom hi for me, and let me know when she's making pork chops again. I'd like to crash that dinner."

Dustin rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he hugs Steve before leaving. Between all the older Hellfire members, they all have rides home that aren't Steve or Eddie.

Speaking of the latter, he's slowly packing things away at the table. Clearly killing time so it won't look like he's intentionally staying after everyone's gone.

Soon, the house is empty again.

"So, I'm not sure... how to start this conversation," Eddie admits to the silence. He's still at the table, standing behind where he was previously sitting, fiddling with a die. "But, I'm sorry. For that day. You were right, you know? When you said I was lashing out at you first."

"Thanks. For the apology," Steve stands from the couch and moves to the table, toying with the tablecloth instead of looking at Eddie. "I, uhh, I'm not sure where to go from here, either? I spent such a long time angry at you. For pointing out all the things I'm bad at in front of everyone there. For making me feel like an idiot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Now Steve looks up at Eddie. "You say that, but like, why? Are you sorry because what you did was shitty, or because you want to be my friend now?"

Eddie blinks, apparently thrown by Steve's question.

"Because, like, you were pretty dismissive of Lucas before Spring Break and he helped save your life. So, it's like, are you okay with being shitty if the people you hurt aren't people you like? 'Cause I used to be that way, and I'm not going to be friends with someone who is."

"Yeah, no, you're right," Eddie nods. "For all that I scream about conformity, and how stupid it is, I've been rather quick to dismiss everyone outside my own... group. I held rather close to that nerds verses jocks crap for too long. Lucas is a jock, but he's also a nerd, and so very loyal to his friends. And you- you're really fucking awesome."

"I am," Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin.

"Ass. But yeah, you're pretty awesome, and I've been feeling all fucked up today because, we could have been friends, couldn't we? In high school. If I'd just let you take the damn flier and kept my mouth shut."

"Hey, that's not all on you," Steve says. "I would have still joined the basketball team, and the swim team. And, like, I was so desperate for any shred of attention from my parents that I would never have picked Hellfire over sports meetups. I could have joined and still ended up a bully by sophomore year."

"Well, I didn't help-"

"I made those choices, Eddie. And it doesn't matter because it's in the past. So, like, we can just move forward. Start over, or whatever."

Eddie looks him up and down before giving one sharp nod, then breaking out into a wide grin, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "Hi. Name's Eddie Munson."

Steve laughs, reaching out to shake Eddie's hand. "Steve Harrington."

"Great, pleasure to meet you. Do you wanna hang out? We can play 20 questions. Get to know each other."

"Sure," Steve chuckles, extracting his hand from Eddie's. "Let me order some pizza first."

First time hanging out with Eddie alone. Guess they'll find out if they can be friends after all.

#steddie #my fic #what's eight plus seven?#just one more part #not fully edited because im at work so apologies for that

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magicalink · 8 months

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Do they fuck or do they make love?

Headcanons with no specific AU! Mainly character x reader but it ended up implying character x character ships too in sime characters. I wrote this headcanons and when I was reading them to my boyfriend (who is my only beta reader) he started giving his opinions about them and I found his comments absolutely hilarious so I decided to include them! 🤣 First go my headcanons about the character and then my boyfriend's comments indented. Some of them are unhinged 🤣

Venti: Depends on the partner and the situation. He adores making delicate love to you but he's always up for a quickie in the middle of the house, the forest, anywhere and anytime you're willing. And oh Archons, is he intense when he does any of the two! He likes sex to be THE experience, and he tends to be over the top when it comes to it. Also an uncontrollable moaning machine.

Bf: Nah, he fucks. All the time. Cuz he is drunk all the time. We all know his only love is alcohol. I agree on the moaning machine part though, he is loud and doesn't care if others hear.

Diluc: Makes love. He has no time for sex if it's not with the love of his life. Doing it with him is a ceremony to remember. Expect long sessions full of kisses, heartwarming confessions, and body worshipping.

Bf: Accurate. Total gentleman. He only makes love. And possibly the first time you do it he will propose to you the morning after.

Childe: Fucks. He is all in for the adrenaline and pleasure in life, whether it's battle or it's lust. He wants to dive in and feel as much as he can,the more intense and dangerous, the better.

Bf: A fucking degenerate. He loves violence and competition and if he doesn't get it in sex then he's not interested. More of a masochist than a sadist, don't be surprised if you fight him and he ends up insinuating sexually to you. Especially if you're winning the fight. He wants to get beaten up. To sum up, he has a very weird way of "making love"...

Xiao: Makes love. To him, it's something sacred that should be shared with the people you love and respect the most. Will worship every inch of your body and be desperate to convey his feelings to you. Will focus completely on your pleasure, so make sure to calm him down and reward him a bit too!

Bf: Turbo virgin who self cock blocks all the time. He is always afraid: of hurting you, of making you uncomfortable, of saying something wrong, of looking at the wrong place...If you moan he asks you if you're okay. He gets soft all the time because he is afraid of hurting you. He has suicidal thoughts half the encounter. But yeah he makes love.

Albedo: Who knows, really. He's still studying what's the difference between the two. And he sure is doing an experiment and carefully studying it when he has sex with you. To be perfectly clear, he loves you, but this whole thing about sex and human relationships is new to him so he's trying to understand all these new feelings.

Bf: "Making love? Fucking? What is that? I'm the chalkman." Doesnt have a dick and if he had, he is not interested in human relationships at all. But if you manage to fuck him he would be writing down notes about it the whole time.

Scaramouche: Fucks because he thinks giving in to love will make him weak.💔

Bf: Fucks and he only thinks about his mommy issues while doing it. He only fucks to dissociate. And if you treat him with basic human kindness he will start seeing you as a maternal figure so be careful.

Wanderer: Now understands that lying about his feelings is the true form of weakness and doesn't want to waste a single more second of life, he makes love to you making sure he makes crystal clear how he feels about you: in the most explicit, toe-curling, fluid dropping way he can. If you like it hard, prepare to be smacked until you can't sit the following day.

Bf: He's gone to therapy so the mommy issues are better but he's still annoying af. He plays hard to get and pretends not to be committed but the truth is he's just being tsundere and hiding the fact that he is eating from the palm of your hand.

Kazuha: Makes the finest comfiest love in the world. Fucks like a horndog when he's drunk or high but won't stop telling you how crazily he loves you while doing it.

Bf: He is high af the vast majority of the time and during sex, it's no exception. If you manage to fuck him sober he will be the super reflexive and emotional type that cries during sex. But he fucks you lovely but won't make love to you, he only makes love with the love of his life Tomo, the rest of you are his cattle. He's a super friendly guy so after sex he will share his weed with you.

Gorou: He's a gentleman who wants to become good at making love but is extremely shy and gets flustered easily so he fucks sloppily. An adorable sight to behold!

Bf: I agree he is a little gentleman.

Tighnari: Makes love. Except when he's in heat. Then you have to be prepared if you wanna handle him.

Bf: another stoner. He would experiments with aphrodisiacs all the time, makimg them into weird salts or sth.

Cyno: Very similar to his jokes. He's completely sure he's giving his best at making love to you or Tighnari and showing you his devotion, but his poker face, stoic manners, and scary appearance make him look like he's angry fucking you. He doesn't get what he's doing wrong and doesn't do it on purpose. But it doesn't matter since you know him very well and not only are you used to his antics but you also have become sensitive to his very subtle changes of expression.

Bf: He can't help bit to tell bad jokes when he fucks. Self cockblocks himself all the time: either he goes soft in the middle of the act because he's laughing at his own jokes or he makes so cringy jokes that his partner gets uncomfortable and leaves. He can't help it, if he doesn't get them our he will explode.

Itto: Fucks wildly but it's his way of making love. He is just too brute to control the size and strength of his body, especially when he is under the effect of the feral feelings he has for you.

He loves you so much he can't help but to pick you up like you're a potato sack and swirl you in the air like you are a rag doll and take you with him everywhere. When he hugs you he leaves you breathless, when he kisses you he leaves you all sloppy and when he fucks you…well he leaves you sore for weeks but let's say it's totally worth it!

Bf: totally disagree! It would be so hard to fuck him, he would be clueless and friend zone or family zone you all the time. If you tell him you wanna be more than friends he would say "Superfriends??" With the biggest smile. And if you manage to fuck him he would be super careful, he knows he is a brute and is scared of hurting you.

Thoma: Makes super lovey-dovey love. Always double-checks if you're comfortable and enjoying the experience. Knowing he's making you feel good makes him glad and arouses him so don't be shy and tell him if he's doing it well!

Bf: nononono, absolutely wrong, you're blinded by his looks. He is a degenerate masochist and he only fucks Ayato. They have this weird dynamic where he literally acts as his dog.

Ayato: Another one who depends on the partner and situation. Honestly, he's so overworked that he desperately needs a good fuck. Ok maybe many of them. But not only he doesn't have the time, but also he can't be seen sleeping around due to his political position, so probably he'll only get to have sex when he finally finds the person he wants to marry. He hopes to be able to marry someone he actually loves instead of marrying for political reasons. So if you're the lucky one, expect heated sessions of lovemaking from this touch-starved man! Also, he'll love you but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being a merciless tease 👀

Bf: Degenerate sadist who only has eyes for Thoma and makes him go through so much weird stuff they don't even remember what is to have normal sex. Tying him up and putting him on a leash is the most normal thing out of what they do.

Kaeya: Fucks. He lives for the spectacle and the mystique of it. Also, he's super popular around Mondstadt and wherever he goes so he sleeps around a lot. He has tons of admirers from both sexes and he makes sure to reward their love and devotion. He knows exactly how to please people, how to exacerbate his natural beauty and how to leave them crazy for him. He's simply so erotically natured. Probably the most experienced guy you know in the field.

Bf: Agree. Turbo slut. No more comments needed. If he manages to open his heart he can be sensitive. But that only happened once and it was with his own reflection in a mirror.

Heizou: Fucks lovingly 💕 He loves teasing and making his partner flustered. People and relationships are simply so fun and fascinating to him. And when he gets to be sexually intimate with someone it's even better! If you end up involved with him, be prepared to be taken to your limits.

Bf: Another degenerate. Probably makes you pretend you're a criminal to chase you around town. Pretty sadistic and I can imagine him having yandere tendencies. A cool guy though. When he is not horny.

Al Haitam: Zero interested in the matter. Until he met you. He is learning everything from scratch and even though he's always been a fast learner in everything, this subject is particularly hard since he needs to stop rationalizing and let his feelings take control for once. But his feelings for you are pretty intense, so little by little he is learning how to make love to you 💚

Bf: I imagine him as a turbo aspirator 3000. He would suck your soul out of your genitals. If you manage him to make him interested in sex, which is highly unlikely because he is like 0 interested in any kind of human contact. I picture him having sex with Kaveh and Kaveh would be a pillow princess and Haitham despite being the kind of guy who always sits down and just reads books he would be restless in bed, doing all the job and moving him around.

Kaveh: Another sweet-sweet love guy! He'll make sure to treat you like a princess and spoil you rotten in and out of the bedroom. He'll do the corniest expressions of chivalry but please bear with him, it genuinely comes from his heart. But if you want to see a more sloppy and wrecked side of him, you can always seduce him after he goes to the bar…

Bf: Sassy pillow princess. Or prince? Idk how to say it. He doesn't do anything but he will be all the time criticizing or praising what you do like a talent show judge. "Come on? Is it the first time you suck a cock or what?" You can imagine this kind of behavior is what infuriates Al Haitham and motivates him to go feral and fuck him around the whole house until he shuts the fuck up.

BONUS: This is an old draft but now that Neuvillete and Wriostheley are out, we couldn't let them out! So for this, we are interchanging roles, my bf will give you his headcanons and I will comment!

Bf: I'm 100% sure both Neuvie and Wriot are completely opposite in bed from their personalities in public. Our chivalrous and calm Neuvie is a pasional beast in bed. He is unsatiable, he is a dragon after all. Gives me the same vibes as Zhong Li who acts super calm but when fucking Childe he destroys 3 hotel rooms every night (exactly the type Childe loves. He got a crush on him when he struck him down at Fontaine's court. I'm sure Zhong Li will get jealous when he finds out and we will have some dragon drama going on) Back to Neuvie, he is super feral but he doesn't fuck, he makes love. It's his draconic way of making love. He is also very emotional and if he likes you, after having sex and having calmed down, he will open his wallet and start showing you the pictures of his 300 Melusine daughters and tell you their names and each of their jobs. He is a very proud dad.

Wriothesley loves you from a distance. While you fuck he is super sweet and loving, but during everyday life, he sucks at showing his feelings. He reminds me of the dad of Komi San, super silent but full of love. He communicates through glances (like a dog). Everyone thinks he is a bad boy but he's a super sentimental guy (won't admit it though) If you give him a gift he will treasure it forever and if someone breaks it or steals it from him he will beat them up.

One of his phrases would be "If something happens to my schmoochpsiepups I will kill everyone in Teyvat and then myself," and when he messes up with you for being unable to show his emotions he goes to a karaoke and sings "Baka Mitai" all depressed. He has 0 emotional intelligence and would go there often, crying "Oh, I wanted to tell Y/N how much I love them before they went away and I just groaned 'hmmm' AGAIN 😭😭".

YET ANOTHER BONUS: If Neuvillete and Wriothesley were in a romantic relationship, I'm sure Neuvie would tell him about all of his Melusine daughters. Wriot would act all cold and as if he didn't care but in fact he remembers all their names and thinks about them as his adoptive daughters. Don't be surprised if you walk down the street and see a Melusine falling down and he rescues her and goes to buy her an ice cream cone. He is a proud dad too.

Me: I have no comments. I agree with everything. And Wriot singing Baka Mitai would be amazing, he has the voice of Jotaro and Erwin after all.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow this post was longer than intended. AND ONLY NOW I realize we left Lyney and Zhong Li out. I guess bc to me Lyney is kinda teen coded? I feel like they wasted so much husband material making him look so young. I've seen the fandom drawing him as an adult and he looks so hansome. And both my bf and I rambled about Zhong Li but we forgot to include an entry for him 😂 He says it's ok because he's tied to Tartaglia and we spoke about him in Tartaglia's section 😂 God we are a disaster. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the post, whether you found the headcanons hot or my bf's comments funny. He is scared of getting cancelled though 😂

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thechekhov · 4 months

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As an autistic person (who is, to be honest also pretty immature) I also really related to Izutsumi. I understand that my pickiness is unreasonable but that wouldn't stop me from rather not eat that try something I don't like or not know, or that looks bad.

I think maybe we misunderstood each other a bit here.

I don't think the issue is Izutsumi not eating things.

If she simply said "I'm not eating that, I'm going to out and hunt for my own food" that would be completely understandable. Hell, even Marcille refuses to eat some of the things Senshi cooks. Not Eating Monsters is a very relatable part of this story. Most people who the party meets refuse to do that. Senshi and the guys - THEY'RE the weird ones.

In fact, in this panel, Laios is being a jerk on purpose and I'm surprised he got away with only scratches.

I joked about her eating the weird little man, but honestly? If she doesn't want to, why pester her? He was just being Laios.

And in the flashback, Izutsumi dealt with things pretty normally - just give what you don't want to eat to Tade.

No dramatics necessary! Everyone wins. She's a cat, she doesn't need leeks anyway.

But the point at which she kinda crosses a line is specifically this:

She yells at Laios about her limits - fine. A bit unnecessary, given that he's just trying to explain their situation, but whatever.

But she then puts the party in danger by going for the Barometz AND then walks away after initiating a battle, because it doesn't suit her.

The difference between what happened with the Ice Golem and now is consideration. Thinking about how your actions impact the safety of others. While Chilchuck and Izutsumi worked together to fell the golem, the others (Marcille and Senshi and Laios) didn't just wander off to look for NEW problems. They stayed nearby, presumably ready to jump in.

They also didn't split the party, forcing Marcille to give chase in order to assure Izutsumi didn't die. (Marcille is also kinda in the wrong here for leaving others, because she also endangered them, but she did it out of concern for Izutsumi.) (Also, Izutsumi would have died if Marcille hadn't followed her, so it's a fair concern.)

The issue isn't that Izutsumi cares about her own needs. That's a healthy thing that everyone should do!

The issue is that Izutsumi doesn't care about the needs of others, to the point of endangering them for very little reward to herself.

She makes no effort to....make an effort? She yells at the party when things don't go her way and demands they make unreasonable adjustments for her. It's not about when she threw away the mushrooms - like, that was funny and partially expected after Senshi got used to the others eating whatever. Though it IS wasteful....

When I say Izutsumi comes across as spoiled to me - that's NOT because of having personal preferences. She can eat whatever she wants, forever. That's a human right.

But I do think she's selfish for demanding that the world and other characters bend (unreasonably) to her will (because they're in a DUNGEON with limited resources) and make it easier for HER specifically, even though attempting to do so endangers them.

But also, as many of you have pointed out: She's not even an adult, she's 17. I assumed she was like, mid-20s, so her behavior makes a lot more sense now.

#chekhov answers #then again she might have a tragic backstory to explain her actions #who even knows #chekhov reads dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi

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scientia-rex · 20 days

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Hi Dr. Kristophine, do you have any advice on what kind of information doctors need for medical issues that are more nebulous than "my knees hurt"? I've been feeling Weird and Bad in a way that has me concerned, but I'm afraid to make an appointment because I don't know what to say that will get the Weird and Bad feeling across in an actionable way. Going to the doctor takes SO much energy that I don't have to waste and I don't want them to just take a blood test and say everything's fine go home (again).

The best thing you can do with medical information you're trying to prepare for your medical provider, as a lay person, is be as specific as possible.

-Location: Is it one place in particular, or everywhere? Does it stay in one place, or move around?

-Timing: When did it start? Did it come on suddenly or slowly? Does it happen continuously? Does it come and go? Is it always there to some extent, but it gets better and worse? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being fine and 10 being the worst you can imagine, how bad is it at its best, and how bad is it at its worst? How much time does it spend really bad vs only kind of bad?

-Quality: If it's pain, is it aching, burning, stabbing, dull, electrical zap, etc.? If it's not pain, what is it? Is it discomfort? Is it weakness--i.e., you can't do that thing? Is it fatigue--like maybe you can still push through doing the thing but it feels like you're trying to wade through mud to do it? Is it a racing heart, sweating, pressure?

-Triggers: Does something in particular set it off? A time of day, a food, an action, a medication, a thought? A surprisingly common trigger for migraines is sitting still with your neck in one position. (New research suggests that necks are critical to migraine formation, to which I yelled out loud at the paper, no duh!) There may be triggers you haven't noticed; try keeping a symptom diary, where you note down when you have episodes and what you were doing beforehand, what you ate that day, menstrual phase, etc. Any detail that you can remember, whether or not it seems relevant at the time.

I cannot tell you how many times I've dug deeper into a chronic issue only to discover that the patient can, in fact, tell me what the trigger is, but because it's something important to them, they simply haven't noticed. May subconsciously even avoided noticing. Do you get migraines every time you DM? Do you need to work a stretch break into your D&D session?

There can also absolutely be multiple triggers--I know I'll get migraines if I don't sleep, if I'm sick, if I sit still for too long, if I have dental work, etc.

So bring in all the info you can. Write it down if you're afraid you'll forget. Don't hand it to the MA, too many doctors will go "oh my GOD they brought a LIST how high-maintenance" and tune out. Hang on to it but tell them about everything.

I don't expect patients to be able to tell me "I believe I've had a left radial styloid fracture" but I do expect them to tell me "I fell and tried to catch myself with my left hand and now my wrist hurts," and that's good enough. The rest of it is my job. When it's something more vague, like "I started feeling different and bad about six months ago," any other information helps. Did you start a new med around then? Are you going through menopause? Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you have first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, or child) with genetic disorders, autoimmune disorders, etc.? Do you have a history of anemia? Are you vegan? Have you started having night sweats and unexplained weight loss? Did you recently travel internationally? This can go a lot more different directions than a hurty wrist, so bring in all the info you can.

And keep in mind that modern medicine is very limited--much more so than most people think. There is an excellent chance that medicine will not be able to diagnose your condition. It may still be able to offer treatment. It may fall on your shoulders to manage it as best you can, knowing that doctors don't have answers. Nobody can tell me why I have chronic pain, and I don't mean as in "I've asked doctors and they don't know," I mean "I've personally scoured the literature and had the relevant and appropriate tests and no one can know at this phase of medical knowledge." So I deal with it, I've stopped trying to push myself past my reserves because people who can't admit to ignorance tell me to, I keep my painful body moving because that helps, I do PT, I take a multivitamin occasionally because I know my diet sucks. I manage.

There are not always right or wrong answers--I don't take gabapentin, because I don't want the sedation and kidney exposure, but patients with my exact symptoms might find it helpful and may find the risks and costs worth the benefits. My mother, who has whatever it is that I have, right down to the tricky stomach, from whom I presumably inherited it, has taken medication at different points in her life, depending on how much pain she was in and what other responsibilities she has, and that is perfectly reasonable. Autonomy matters. People have to be able to make these choices for themselves, with assistance but not paternalism from their medical professionals, because the math is different for everyone.

#the attending dr. kristophine #listen I feel very strongly about autonomy #I am here to help not to dictate from on high

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agender-witchery · 15 days

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I am not an expert in Japanese language or culture, but seeing people still being weird about Vivian's gender, even with the Thousand Year Door Remake out is infuriating, so I'm going to drop everything I've got here in case someone feels inclined to argue with some asshole still calling her a femboy or something.

To start: the original, 2004 Gamecube script.

Before I even get into whether Vivian is really being referred to using a crossdressing term (spoilers: she's not), let's address two other words that she herself uses in the original text.

Vivian uses "atai" (アタイ) as a first person pronoun in both the 2004 and 2024 scripts. atai is, put simply, extremely effeminate. I've had many people argue "Japanese pronouns aren't strict about gender like English pronouns!" and while this is technically correct, a female idol using "boku" to refer to herself and a theoretical femboy using "atai" to refer to himself are two very different situations. I am not well versed in the Japanese equivalent to femboy culture, but I would expect them to use "atashi" if anything.

Another word Vivian uses is "shimai" (姉妹) which means sister. This is in reference to herself and her sisters, where the three of them each say a part of the sentence introducing themselves. The full sentence (gonna ignore Beldam and Marilyn for now) is "We are... the three... Shadow Sisters!!" (われらは・・・　カゲ・・・　三姉妹っ！！). There just isn't a way to interpret this as anything other than her calling herself a woman, so most transphobes ignore it if you point it out, or insist that other characters are the authority on her identity rather than herself. I suppose this makes sense for them, as they are quite accustomed to telling trans women "You'll always be a man".

Vivian doesn't refer to herself using gendered language anywhere else, but to be honest, this should be enough. But whatever, let's keep going, let's actually look at the ways in which Vivian is called a boy. This is done by Beldam, Goombella, and the game systems for both TTYD and SPM.

On the topic of Beldam, she refers to Vivian as a "man" (オトコ) to put her down. In the English release, this was changed to Beldam calling her "plug-ugly" and so many people who deny Vivian's trans identity will point to this and say that Beldam calling Vivian a man isn't a denial of her being a woman, but rather an insult being directed at her since it's very offensive to call a woman a man. Yes, misgendering people is offensive, astute observation made by the transphobes. Worth noting that this is entirely inconsistent with the argument that Vivian is a femboy, but that has not stopped some people from arguing both. I've seen it with my own two eyes. This line comes immediately after Vivian including herself within the group of sisters, but sure, maybe Beldam specifically insulted Vivian by calling her a man instead of the much easier ugly insult that we got in the English release. I don't think that's true, but maybe that's what happened. Let's move on, because this is largely addressed in the remake.

On to Goombella. Her Tattle for Vivian states that she's "The youngest sister [of the trio]... no, wait, brother" (いちばん下の妹・・・　じゃなくて　弟ね). This is just misgendering, I don't have much to say, Goombella is not the authority on Vivian's identity.

Now for game systems. Specifically, the partner menu in TTYD and the catch card in SPM. Both of these refer to Vivian as a "boy" (オトコのコ). These are universally written in katakana, and in fact, other than Goombella's Tattle, all dialogue referring to Vivian's identity is written in katakana. I'll get to that in a bit. This reference to Vivian as オトコのコ is the basis for basically every claim that she's a femboy coming from Westerners. The thing here is that オトコのコ is pronounced "otokonoko" and is highly popular as a term within Japanese crossdressing communities... kinda.

See, the term that's used for crossdressing is 男の娘 while the term that simply means boy is 男の子. These are pronounced identically, but use different characters, the former uses the characters for "male" and "daughter" while the latter is "male" and "child". The crossdressing term is a pun and it is slang. It's a play on words, it effectively means "male daughter" but is pronounced "boy". The kanji is crucial to conveying this meaning in Japanese, because otherwise if you write オトコのコ people will just assume you mean the common, every day usage of boy without any crossdressing implications rather than the slang terminology. Additionally, katakana is often used for emphasis, like bold or italics or ALL CAPS. Since all words referring to Vivian's gender identity are written in katakana for both the original and the remake, this puts emphasis on her identity, as if it were very important to Vivian's character and her personal story.

But wait! There's more. 男の娘 would not even enter popular usage until 2006. TTYD came out in 2004. That's two years too early for the game to be referring to her in this way. The simple, not obtuse way of interpreting this is that it's just misgendering and not Nintendo inventing a time machine, grabbing slang from 2 years in the future, embedding it in their game, and then inconsistently referring to Vivian as a cis woman, a cis man, and a femboy across two games. This sort of misgendering where a character will be presented with "They look like a girl, but they're actually a boy!" is very common for early 2000's characters who would be updated to be unambiguously transgender in later media. You know, like Bridget? The 2002 character who would be updated to be trans in 2022? Turns out it was difficult to put trans people in media without backlash at the time! Daisuke Ishiwatari said as much when clarifying Bridget's gender.

But this is a post about Vivian, so let's get back on topic...

The 2024 Switch remake script

The Japanese text for the Switch remake includes changes that are... very front and center. You may have seen the English screenshots concerning Vivian's gender. If anything, these are downplaying it. The Japanese is much more blatant concerning Vivian being transgender. And these are changes coming from the Japanese writers who read the original script for the 2004 release and decided to write her this way in 2024. While the original writers credited from the 2004 release seem to be missing from the credits in the 2024 release (Hironobu Suzuki and Misao Fukuda), the director of the 2004 release is present in a supervisor role (Ryota Kawade).

I do not have the Japanese text of the Boggly Woods scene, as I am relying on other people's posting of text from the game since I'd like to finish the game in English first and I'm not even through Hooktail's Castle yet. I do have the text from Goombella, the partner menu, and the new dialogue in Twilight Town.

Let's start with Goombella and the partner menu, since those are straightforward. All references from Goombella to Vivian's gender are removed, and the partner menu now says "Has a boy's body, but a girl in their heart." in Japanese. I'll talk about that phrasing in a bit.

But the new dialogue! You've probably already seen it if you're reading this, but the English reads "Truth is, it took me a while to realize I'm their sister... not their brother. Now their usual bullying feels heavier." which, to me, is fairly unambiguous in what it means. I've seen people try to imply that it doesn't mean she's trans, but like, I'm not gonna humor that. I have seen earnest questions on why the last sentence is worded like that though, so I'll talk a bit about it at the end.

The Japanese text for this line, which again, is entirely new is "それに　じつは　アタイ・・・体は　オトコのコだけどココロは　カワイイ　オンナのコなの" or in English "The thing is... I... I have a boy's body, but my heart is a cute girl's!". Now, "I have the body of X but my heart/soul is that of Y!" is, to my understanding, a very common way for trans people to express themselves in Japan, so this reads as a point blank Vivian turning to the camera and saying "I am transgender". And again, these are the Japanese writers from the company that wrote the original 2004 script who are familiar with and interpreted that script for their job that paid them actual money. If someone wants to insist exclusively on authorial intent and refuses to recognize localizers as authors (they are), then this is the authorial intent. Vivian is trans and the Japanese script went out of its way to make this as clear as possible. The line after this also has Vivian talking about having "girl’s feelings" (乙女心).

That all should be the end of the discussion. If people argue against this, I can't really say they're doing anything other than being deliberately obtuse to serve a transphobic agenda.

As for the wording in the English translation, about how the usual bullying Vivian had experienced felt heavier, that really just reinforces the trans narrative, but in a way that is mostly gonna be picked up by trans people, which is why I say the translation is downplaying it. I probably don't need to explain this here on the gay website, half of you are probably trans, but fuck it, maybe you haven't thought about it too hard. Transphobia isn't just being misgendered and receiving systemic discrimination, it's also just receiving more hate in general. This is true of all bigotry, whether you're a cis woman, trans, black, disabled, people will just focus on you and be more critical in general. For a trans audience, this is something that can be picked up on relatively easily, but for non-trans audiences, it might just seem like a non sequitur. I generally really like the changes, but I do wish this one specific sentence actually referenced transphobia in the most direct way possible, have her state with precisely zero uncertainty that her sisters called her a man to bully her.

Sources:

https://x.com/OatmealDome/status/1793081375005827084?t=_8mWED-nN4DFHIrXam7vJw&s=19

https://x.com/OatmealDome/status/1793116357384339692?t=qBbgfKuNT1hS51WFovTEDQ&s=19

https://tcrf.net/Paper_Mario:_The_Thousand-Year_Door/Regional_Differences#Vivian

#im puppy #paper mario #the thousand year door #ttyd #vivian #transgender #transphobia #mario #vivian ttyd

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thejockout · 4 months

Text

Subject Diaries #0.5 - Jockout the Subject, Part 2

(okay this is the last edging post of this series lol)

Last time I discussed my history/beliefs around masculinisation and erotic TF hypnosis, just to give a foundation of how I think about this stuff.

NOW to get into the slightly juicier details; what am I into, and what have I achieved so far with hypnosis?

WELL. What I'm into is an interesting question; and it's changed a lot in the last 2-3 years. If you'd asked me then what I was into, the answer was a fairly limited range of hypnosis: I was into "dumb jock" style brainwashing... and not much else. I didn't do a lot with either sub/dom-coded files, and had yet to discover several of my major kinks! It's kind of weird looking back at how little I used to be into, tbh. But I feel like that's often the way with kinks, they kinda spread over time.

For hypnosis, my current core interests are the following:

Masculinisation - specifically shit like changes in media consumption, physical mannerisms like manspreading or gait, and attitude adjustments. This blurs the line with the next point, but really just covers the whole gamut of a "bro" or "jock" type personality, and is the primary thing I've been into for years.

Dumbing Down - this was a kink I was very on again/off again with for a while before finding my balls and embracing it wholeheartedly. Like many subs, I used to really fear being "Permanently Dumbed Down" and losing skills and traits I need for work/my ambitions. But that's not a realistic fear and not really how hypnosis works, so now I embrace it pretty wholeheartedly. Nothing hotter than coming out of trance unable to spell or think straight. I love seeing the changes in my communication that come from it, and the actual feeling of hypnosis-induced brain fog. (And, being seen as a dumbass is a big kink too, and a nice ongoing goal.) Also included here is the whole subcategory of like, wanting to be malleable and easily hypnotisable, wanting to be someone who drops like a stone and is super impacted by suggestion. I've got some friends who come to mind when I talk about that, and it's always hot to see how easily they sink.

Corruption - this is sort of a broader, underpinning kink to the rest of the stuff I'm into; but it's a desire I have to want to be changed, to have someone coy and sly and sneaky manipulate me into changing in ways most would consider "for the worse." Making me dumber, more single-minded, more narcissistic, more self-indulgent. Fuck, bro. I get off on the idea of someone making me into their personal monster... especially if it goes a little too far from their POV and they can't walk it back. This underpinning desire for corruption is sort of what fuels my love of Dumbing Down and, in recent years, super Dom-coded Toxic Alpha type hypno generally. It's play I think you need to be careful with, but I've been having a good time so far and don't think I'd have ever started making files like Brute if I hadn't gone in that direction myself.

I listen to files outside these three themes, but generally they need to have at least one for me to be into them, and the best tick all three boxes.

I briefly listed a few files I'd listened to a bunch in my previous Diaries post; those being Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series, Avis' Sapiens general catalog, and Rigsby's Absolute Jock. I've probably listened to 100s of hours of both the MC-series and Avis' work. My time on Absolute Jock was a looot lower, but tis the best of the old guard of jock files on WarpMyMind. Overall, it's a lot of time to have dedicated to this kinda hypno! So you'd expect to see some results, right?

...Yeeeahhh, well, I'm still kind of a Work In Progress on that front. I have seen results, but I held myself back with anxiety and overthinking (about hypnosis) for years of this, so I've really only started to show change in the last year or so. That being said, the years of repeated conditioning have done a number on me lol.

EFFECTS I'VE SEEN

Successful Media Brainwashing - I did the unthinkable and successfully made myself a sports fan via hypnosis. It's kinda weird. For years I really struggled to even get through a game; then with hypnosis, I gradually started to just get suuper horny when I watched sports instead, which wasn't really any better because I'd just jerk off and lose interest. But sometime in the last two years, I kinda just got into it gradually and now watch for authentic, general interest. This was a real pipe dream at 17 when I envied how all the jock-types in my class could be totally absorbed and single-minded watching or playing a game, but I ended up getting there in the end! Not American so don't watch American Football/basketball/baseball or whatever, but I like rugby/hurling/F1 ✌️I credit this to Jack Drago's work, specifically Files 2 and 4 of the MC series; Manly Media Bubble and Male Oriented Interests.

General Personality Change - this is a WIP suggestion, but it's been interesting seeing myself change over the last 12 months especially. I've become a lot more dominant, confident, cocky, and even self-centered especially in online kink type contexts. IRL, I've just become more dominant and less willing to take shit; but that's only ever a good thing. It's interesting Because the nature of this kind of change, which happens so slowly over time, is that it can be difficult to look back and see the points where you used to behave differently. But sometimes like... especially since doing Douchebag-type files, sometimes I'll criticise someone or make fun of something and get a surprised reaction from a friend who wasn't expecting me to take it that far. And it always makes me feel a little good to surprise them in that way, to violate their expectations of how Nice I should be. I'm always Nice to them, and to anyone decent, but you've really gotta make me WANT to treat you well to get that now. Some people will read this and feel annoyed, or roll their eyes, but I kinda don't care. It's what I'm into. It's what I've GOTTEN into. (It's all Avis' fault really tbh.)

Libido Increase - this was a slow creeping change overtime, but went from getting off maybe 1x a day/5x a week or so to probably getting off 3x a day currently. Got a lot better at thinking with my dick and am super easy to make horny, which helps feed into the next suggestion on the list;

Dumbing Down - this is the suggestion I've had the MOST recent breakthrough with. For the month of January, I listened daily to @hyphyphurray's Muscle Boy file, interspersed with his Happy Horny Himbo and @avissapiens' Intellect Drain. Dumbing Down was always something I'd struggled to conceptualise hypnotically, but I had a perspective shift this month as to what dumbing FEELS LIKE on an ongoing basis. While under some mild post-trance haze, I wrote this snippet about it in preparation for the post a week ago:

(Don't worry, I'll summarise it.)

The tl;dr of that message is that I realised "permanent" dumbing would feel less like brain fog/tipsiness, and more like apathy towards intellectual topics. It's a priority shift, or a behavioural change; not a magic finger plucking facts out of your brain so you forget the answers. It's sort of like it just fucks with your desire to know things/answer questions instead. The information might still be there, if you hunt; but why would you? Who cares, bro? Does it even matter?

Since making that perspective shift, it's like a few years of dumbing has crept in all at once, and it's been super interesting. I'm not going to over dramatise it (I'm desperate NOT to become an RP-type blog with this) because in contexts like writing, schoolwork, etc., I think just as clearly and easily. But in leisure contexts, in hypnosis, just in chatting with bros... I feel that intellectual apathy creep in allll the time. Trying to think of an answer to something and just giving up two seconds in, because "it's easier not to think about it." Trying to remember something and quitting because "if it was that important, I'd have remember." Letting my typos and message flubs sit because "they can figure it out lol" and not over analysing whether everything I say is totally coherent or rich.

I understand the irony of me speaking in huge depth about this here, when what I'm saying is that I'm thinking less. But like I said, it's kinda contextual. If anyone was interested, I'd consider writing a hornier post under the influence of trance sometime so the difference can be seen, but right now... I'm just taking this a little more formally, I guess? Idk, I'm torn between wanting it to be pseudo-educational and also just having made myself horny writing so much about dumbing, and when I'm horny I REALLY feel that haze start to creep in and I kinda wanna just stop this an edge or something and go do anything else that's more fun 🥴

So in the spirit of the post, I'm gonna go do that.

JANUARY WRAP-UP

For the month of January, most of what I listened to were Hyphyphurray's files listed above (the number in green = the number of times I listened to them). They are paid files, but they're well worth the price, and I recommend them to anyone into this shit. I also listened to Avis' Intellect Drain 5-6 times as a supplement because I love how that just makes my brain turn off for a while.

Not sure atm what I'm gonna listen to through February, I've bounced between Muscle Boy and Avis' Toxic Douchebag Alpha a few times so far but will likely commit to one track for the month.

-------

This is post #2 of my broader Subject Diaries series, a blog series I plan to maintain on a fortnightly/monthly basis updating people on what I've been listening to, files I've been enjoying, and effects I've been experiencing. When I'm not trancing, I'm usually off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland, but I am always available for commissions here on Tumblr/Soundcloud if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $55-80, but you can always check my pinned post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi, but you'll have to DM for the first.

#hypnokink #gay hypnosis #hypnosis #jockification #jockout #alpha jock #himbo #subject diaries

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daytaker · 5 months

Note

greetings from clown anon, adored the fic very silly <33

i apologise if i’m filling up your inbox but may i ask for an mc that’s a mortician? that or is just desensitised to death and knows a lot about it, like i imagine whenever the brothers in early season 1 used to do like very specific threats mc would be like “uh actually that’s not how that works” essentially acting like a bit of a smart ass completely glossing over the actual threat

thanksies in advance (´∀｀*)

Clown Anon MCs - [ Clowncore MC | Death-Fixated Science Geek MC | LeVeyan Satanist MC ]

(I'll be real I have no memory of the specific threats and I was too lazy to go look for them but I will follow along the lines of the prompt anyway.)

I'm going to do this one in bullet point form. Hope that's okay.

(CW: a bit gross at times. not quite gore.)

Now I Am Become MC, Destroyer of Worlds: A Death-Fixated Main Character in Obey Me!

Read below the cut.

They're extremely curious about demon anatomy. And not in a kinky way. They want to see how similar the structure and layout of demon organs are to human organs. They want to get full body X-rays when those wings and tails pop up. They want to get it on video when they appear and disappear. Because what the fuck. Yeah, yeah, they get it, magic exists, but still, what the fuck?!

They fully expect Beel to keel over and die one day from overeating. There is no way any single individual can consume the way he does and survive. They're actually hoping that if he does, they'll be able to carry out the post-mortem and see what exactly was going on with that stomach of his. I mean, yes, they'll be very sad he's gone, but at least he'll have died as a martyr to science!

Dead shadow hog? Taxidermied. Dead fire newt? Taxidermied. Dead devil zebra? Brought home, dissected, taxidermied. The brothers don't really like to go to their room because of the constant dizzying stench of formaldehyde that comes from it.

Sometimes they'll just sit and stare at one of the brothers. If asked what they're doing, they'll simply say, "Observing." Reactions to this range from Beel's "Oh, okay," to Levi's "I'M GOING TO MY ROOM AND NEVER LEAVING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE."

So Solomon's immortal, is he? How immortal, exactly? Is it just that he'll never die from old age? Could he die of a disease? Surely he could die from injuries, right? Has he tested this? Can they test it? Please?

....Please?

Wait, wait, wait. Satan came from where? How? Why? What the hell? Lucifer, take your shirt off, they need to do some investigating. Satan, you too. Lucifer, show them your back. No scars? Not even from ripping your own wings off? Hm. Satan, do you have a bellybutton? ...That's weird, you definitely didn't need an umbilical cord. And you're saying he came out full-sized? Stop telling them it's magic! Magic is just science that people don't understand yet.

Actually, all of you get in here and strip, this has been a long time coming. MC needs to figure out what the hell is happening here.

Why not?

Pleeeease?

Satan, let's talk about one of your murder mysteries! They do this exactly one time, and never again because MC kept interrupting to point out plot holes and inconsistencies. It was so annoying. It kind of ruined the genre for him for a little while.

Leviathan, MC wants to ask you about how you survive underwater. Levi--- Hey, where are you going? Levi?

They write their paper on comparative anatomy of demons, angels, and humans. Diavolo gets a little queasy after the first page and gives them an A. He doesn't want to read the rest, he trusts they did a thorough job.

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simplydnp · 2 months

Note

hey there!

I kind of consider you the resident dnp expert (at least in dnp culture) so I wanted your opinion on a question that's been building for a while now.

What are the boundaries for dnp now?

There are so many things that I feel have changed even in the last four years: writing smutty rpf was Gross and Weird, along with art along that line, speculating about their relationship was ABSOLUTELY a no-go, all things that I see happening on Tumblr now. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!! I'm just acknowledging things have changed over time. They're different people now and so are we, and the "we know you know" era is lots of fun.

I was browsing reddit today (bad idea, do not recommend) and came across a post from a new Phannie asking if DnP were in a relationship. And while I agree that we cannot say for absolute certain that they are, the responses had a VERY different vibe than on here, emphasizing how bad the speculation was (true) and essentially saying "don't even think about that, just enjoy their content." (or something to that extent.)

Which... is very different from this here website in which we joke about them being horney for each other constantly lmao.

Being a very rules-driven person, I like expectations to be made abundantly clear for pretty much everything. So that's why I want to ask: Is there a line here? Are we crossing that line? How defined is that line? (All of this, of course, I recognize is your opinion and yours alone, and if this is posted I encourage anyone else to share their two-cents in a respectful way.)

Obviously, trying to find out where they live/things like that is very clearly crossing a boundary. But is there some sort of limit or boundary I (and tbh the rest of the phandom), in your opinion, should be keeping in mind?

thanks xx

hi!

'resident expert' is a hefty title, i'm just here trying my best!

'what are the boundaries for dnp now?' is really a great question. cause the thing is, we used to know. there used to be a fairly well-defined and mostly agreed upon line, and ever since the dapg revival in particular, the line keeps moving.

i'll be honest, i never really saw phanfic as rpf, even though it is. my stance on phanfic is the same as dnps: it's a beautiful expression of art and creativity and is so, so important. they've always been pro-fic (even though we subjected them to some absolutely horrific crack fics), so i don't think 'smutty' fic has ever been gross or too far. they've given their blessing, and, as the conversation has been in fandom communities the last few years, rpf isn't 'for' the people in them, it's for the fans. so i digress.

art is much the same way. they love art! they even included art of them kissing in a tumblr tag video back in the day, so to say that's not allowed especially after they're out is kind of crazy to me.

i think the line with stuff like that was showing it directly to dnp--tagging them in explicit stuff, that kind of thing. but creating it? go for it! it's always been a green light. (i think fans have previously overpoliced this and we lost a lot of great fic, art, and community members over it)

browsing reddit is always a Choice. i've never participated on dnp reddit before but i am aware that it is an entirely different space than here. something that's important, i think (and i think you think this too as you're asking about them), is to respect the fandom rules of the place you partcipate in. tumblr is generally one of the most phan-positive places on the internet, especially publicly facing. we make a lot of relationship jokes, particularly because we run on the assumption it's already true, based on what they've both said publicly (mostly dan).

i won't comment on reddit specifically just because i'm not a part of the community there, but the speculation about dnp online was a Lot for a long time. but the worst part of it was the stalking, the digging into personal lives, the contacting family members--that is what was bad. dnp have always had a connection--and, honestly, they kind of love flexing it and kind of always have. they absolutely play into things now, but they certainly did even way before coming out too. i think a certain level of speculation was to be expected, especially in that era of online fandom. but it wasn't just the 'teenage girls' who cared, the media did too, and so did many others.

i think one of the biggest differences now is 1 the awareness of 'our' past and trying to make up for it, and 2 the broader societal conversations about parasocial relationships.

you see this reflected on the snippets ive seen from dnp reddit and dnp twitter. they tend to be Very 'cautious' about the words they say, often undercutting perfectly reasonable statements with 'but whatever their relationship is'. on one hand, they don't want to cross a line, and i can respect that. on the other hand... it's 2024 babes. they just put out merch of them holding hands. dan's directly, intentionally, and explicitly called phil a bottom on dapg. they reacted to all of the pinofs, made jokes about 'theyre touching', and even joked about the tackle being 'wrestling 👀'. dan posted half-naked catboy pics and showed us phil was taking them. the 'watch your step babygirl' tweet & their reactions to it. phil is credited in WAD. they're making threesome jokes about themselves as a unit. i could go on and on.

to me, there's a few things that have 'moved the line' for us, so to speak.

1 - DAPG returning. for the last few years they specifically were not a duo (for projects) anymore. (and no, not because they hated each other). they just weren't. they wanted to focus on their goals and projects. they didn't have to resurrect dapg, but they chose to. marketing and money aside, they knew that if this went over well, it would well and truly revive the 'dan and phil' brand again. it would be specifically returning to being a duo in the public eye. (however they've also fully embraced this in all aspects, including merch, videos, and general attitude)

2 - pinof reacts. even though they'd been out since 2019, we hadn't had regular joint content from them since before that, therefore, while they had become more comfortable with themselves and their 'outness', we hadn't (in terms of them making explicit gay jokes together). so i really think dnp had to de-fang a lot of the 'theyre touching' of it all, because we didn't really know where we stood on it anymore. i think they succeeded, too. we couldn't be here, with the content of the last 3 months, without them tackling it head on (well, as head on as they're want to do).

3 - dapc. genuinely another big shift. they did this for the real fans. purely a passion project, and a specific choice in doing the handhold. they know what we're like. and this wasn't a brief, unplanned, unscripted moment. it's a specifically blocked out scene. they know it's opening a door, and they chose to. this is doubled by the fucking iconic merch selling, and furthered by phil's twitter likes of arguably romantic phanart, and then dan's full straddle like.

even throughout the current 6 months of revival, the line has moved. i don't know where it will settle. dnp keep moving it, in my opinion, and, genuinely, i don't think it's going to leave much to the imagination. as you say, obviously not the stalking or the contacting, but beyond that? especially here on tumblr? i wouldn't get too worried. obviously people will have their opinions, but as long as you're generally respectful and recognize that humans will see your posts and humans interact with them, i think you're good.

my rule of thumb is anything they intentionally put on the table, we can joke about or at the same level. but in terms of art/fic? go off, live your dreams. dan and phil would want you to.

#i didn't include a cut because people don't always look under them and this is generally a whole statement. feel free to add things.#there's specific discourse i dont partake in. doesnt mean you have to avoid it entirely. but just dont bring it up to dnp and you're fine.#dnp #dan and phil #phan #<- for the fandometrics #c.text #answered

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ofstarsandvibranium · 9 months

Note

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

#jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader

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prettyboypistol · 1 year

Note

Okay okay- that scout fic got my brain thinking.

How would each of the mercs react to being dommed and being called good boy??

BC LIKE YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT

MINORS DNI 18+

Mercs Getting Called a Good Boy! (xGN Reader)

Pyro referred to with all pronouns, but AMAB

Scout

You pull Jeremy close as you ball up his shirt. He can feel your hot breath tickle the hairs on his neck.

"C'mon Jeremy, be a good boy for me?"

Nearly cums on the spot

blushyyyyy blush blush blushhhh

If you're not railing him, you will be soon. that's one of his secret insta horny buttons.

Even if he's fucking you, if you call him a good boy he will melt

Tie him up, smack his ass, kiss him, tease him, fuck him til he's dizzy. He doesn't care as long as he's your good boy.

If it's sprung on him it hits his ego a little and makes him feel a little emasculated, so he begs that you don't say it around the others.

Engineer

He's usually gotten shit for being the shortest of all the mercs, so it takes him a moment to really understand what you meant by calling him a good boy.

Like don't get him wrong, it's not like he's insecure, but a guy can only take so much before he develops a complex.

He's not really a fan of it tbh, but he doesn't mind letting you top

Dell would call you a good boy/girl/lil' thing easily, pulling his southern drawl in to really mess you up

Yeah he's more of a trad masc dude, not that he cares about nontraditional men's choices, it's just his preference

Spy

Very confused, but immediately gives you sass about it.

"I'm already letting you have the ropes, you're just gloating now"

He's into it only in specific circumstances, like when he's fully a bottom.

His control complex is hard to get through, but as soon as you do, god it's adorable how much he craves it.

He will never tell you up front, but there are microexpressions that you might pick up on to tell you if he's in the mood for it.

One of those "figure me out" types, and will never tell you what he wants unless he's taking it.

Heavy

Feels??? Weird??? but also warm inside, like when you usually call him pet names

It makes him feel small, but not in a bad way.

He's never been dommed or topped before, so it's all kinda exciting

He'd prefer some other version of "good boy", like "my baby" or "honeybear"

Would kiss you and want kisses so so much

Heavy knows you're trying to get hi in the mood and mindset of being a sub, he's not an idiot, so he rolls with it.

Overall he's neutral on it, not ecstatic but doesn't hate it.

Demoman

Surprisingly very into it

Like, you're taken off guard at the babblemouth he becomes after "Good boy" slipped from you.

He usually dirty talked during sex, but you didn't realize that he's like that when he's the bottom!

"C'monnn, give your good boy what he deserves!" whiny ass baby

After the fact, cuddles you close and rambles on about how he's always been into it, but nobody's been bold enough to call him that

Tavish loves all versions of good boy, ex "attaboy", "prettyboy" "babyboy" etc.

Pyro

Loves it so fucking much, through the muffled squeaks and nods of approval, you decide to go with it at the enthusiastic response

Pyro was always into affection during sex, from gentle touches on their body to touching you- maybe he's making sure that you're real?

Since the mask coming off was a hard no, every time you called her a good boy you heard a happy moany-wheeze of breath of enjoyment.

As much as Pyro is infantilized, I prefer a more realistic depiction of schizophrenia/psychosis. As fun as Pyroland is all sunshine and rainbows, delusions really hurt the psyche.

When you two are done fucking, they seem at peace. It's hard to feel like a good person when you're that disillusioned with reality

Medic

Now this man gets all giggly like you might expect Pyro to be.

Super eager to please you

Loves getting your hands tugging your hair as you pull his head back when you're behind him/on top of him. Bite his neck and call him your good boy.

It'll bleed into when he's experimenting too, if he gets too spooky while you're on the operating table just hit him with "Aww, be my good boy?"

If Medic's topping, he somehow rails you harder

Aftercare king if you praise him sweetly

100% gets jealous if you call Archimedes a good boy.

Sniper

Not a fan at first, but it grows on him

After long days he just crawls into your arms and sighs, he puts your hands into his hair and groans

"My good boy" "yeah.."

He doesn't mind subbing/bottoming, but you get the best results when he's tired and exhausted.

As he's breathing deep, tired, and in the moment, you just kiss his brow and say it.

He snuggles into you tightly, nearly stopping sex to just hold you

Smack his ass and call him good boy at random please

Soldier

Surprisingly receptive, but in an unorthodox way.

"Good boy Solly-" "I'm a good MAN!"

well, that works too.

It works as more ammo when you're topping

"That's it honey, what a man. Good boy, Jane~"

Since Soldier is one of your more crazy lovers, you like how he puts his own spin on everything. it's a breath of fresh air.

He'll call you a good boy, but it'll drabble into telling you that you're patriotic during sex

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creekfiend · 8 months

Note

Hey, do you have family in Israel? Do you know whether they are alright?

sure, I do. in my experience most American Jews have family in Israel. When my family left their village in what is now Belarus, half of those leaving came to the US and half went to Palestine. (and those who remained were killed and that village does not exist anymore) I am not in close contact with the Israeli side but I expect I would have heard something if any of them had been hurt. Josh has much closer Israeli family as his brother Yoav and nieces/nephews all live there but they are also fine to my knowledge.

I appreciate the check in, but I will be perfectly honest with you that while it hurts my heart immensely that so many Israeli civilians have been killed, right now I am primarily concerned about the millions of people in Gaza without electricity or running water who have been ordered to evacuate or get exploded but who have nowhere to go. I am very, VERY concerned about the statements being made by the garbage fascists in control of the Israeli government right now openly stating their genocidal intentions on a scale that we haven't previously seen.

we are all triggered and traumatized as hell about everything, and by we I mean Jews, and I think it's understandable for us to feel that way. but I also am struggling a lot with the degree to which many of my fellow American Jews are making this ABOUT our big feelings of fear and anxiety. I understand that anticipating things becoming More Dangerous is something all Jews have had to do constantly forever. I understand that "position of relative privilege" is something that's extremely conditional for Jews and something that can be taken away at the drop of a hat. but... I don't know. I've been trying to think of anything coherent or helpful in any way to say for the past several days and coming up short. it's a nightmare. But it would be disingenuous to deny that it's a nightmare for me in ways that are removed pretty significantly from the ways in which it is a nightmare for other people.

my family is fine. I understand and empathize with the sentiments of "but what if my family becomes NOT fine?" especially when this is the largest mass killing of Jewish civilians since... well. and I am also enraged and terrified by the comfort with which many leftist gentiles seem to be practically celebrating those deaths. but I'm really preoccupied by the fact that millions of people and their families in Gaza are Not Fine in a huge and terrible way right now as we speak. this is not to say that it is a contest, but if I am doing triage, it is very clear to me whose leg is more broken right now. While acknowledging, again, that we are in a scary place globally regarding antisemitism.

Angry Jew on fb has been posting a lot of stuff that really speaks to how I am feeling right now. devastated by the horrible ways some of my people have been killed, and devastated also that inexcusable violence is being done, essentially, in my name. I hate to talk about this publicly because I also fucking wish American gentiles would kind of shut up about it a lot of the time, to be honest. and I hate feeling like I am giving anyone ammunition in their weird ideological internet fights about having The More Correct Opinion in the hypothetical trolley problem-ass situation that so many of them act like this is. the refusal to learn about any specifics of the situation in favor of just deciding it must be exactly like some other unrelated geopolitical issue that they feel they have a better handle on, and then just... overwriting the reality of the situation so that it matches up with what they are comfortable imagining in their heads. I have had to unfollow and block a lot of people lately.

I mostly talk to my safe Jewish and Muslim friends about this. and select few safe non-muslim gentiles.

Right now I am grieving for many reasons. Since you asked me about my personal connection I will tell you the main things I remember learning and feeling about this growing up. I've never been to Israel. Not close enough to my family there to visit, although my dad did, & never comfortable with programs like Birthright. I remember in the 90s my dad, who was an administrator at the school of Public Health at the local university, was helping put together programs that would bring Israeli and Palestinian universities and public health groups together to work on universal public health issues like helping ppl stop smoking, vaccination, etc. it was going really well at the time. he was going over there a few times a year to coordinate with the people running the programs there. he was really optimistic about it, & several other similar programs. this was back when Yasser Arafat and Yitzak Rabin/Shimon Peres were having a lot of talks that were seemingly productive and hopeful. like obviously it was hardly a golden age but it seemed like maybe Israel was moving away from violence. and then 9/11 happened and everything exploded and all the little programs simply disappeared and my dad never went back to work with anyone. and then fucjing... Netanyahu. and it seems like since then everything only gets worse and worse and further and further from anything other than horrible violence, and that devastates me

In high school I took a Mideast Civ class and one of my fellow students was a kid whose parents had been expelled from Palestine during the war and fled to America. what I remember being struck by when he talked about this was how his family's story was so similar to my family's story and a deep sense of shame and anger that people who had undergone what my family had could then make his family undergo the same thing. That's still a pretty big part of how I feel. I don't accept that that kid's experience was necessary to keep me or my family safe.

I'm just a guy. I try my best to learn as much as I can and listen to a large variety of people connected to this so I can have a more holistic view of things. I'm not making this post rebloggable for obvious reasons but since it's here on my blog, for anyone reading who is also feeling despair, here's some organizations that are good to follow & support if you are able (non-exhaustive obviously)

synagoguesrising.org Synagogues Rising is a coalition of leftist synagogues in the US who advocate for Palestinian liberation and who are currently begging the US government to work to deescalate military violence and provide humanitarian aid to people in Gaza

refuser.org Refusers Solidarity Network is a group advocating for Israelis who refuse to serve in the military as conscientious objectors

map.org.uk Medical Aid for Palestinians living under occupation & as refugees

Genuinely, thanks for asking about my family. if you also have family in the area, I hope they are also alright.

I want everyone to be alright. I know this is a lot of big baby feelings and no particular political ideologies or solutions and that's because I'm just one fucking Jew and I'm not an activist or a revolutionary and I kind of feel a bit like other online people could stand to admit more often that they're also just some guy and also not activists or revolutionaries. I sure have beliefs and I sure feel strongly about them, but man, right now I just want to express grief & anger & worry about how awful this government is and how many people they're going to kill and how much I wish it was not happening

my family is Ok.

eta: I'm reading this back and realizing that as a response to this ask it makes it sound like I'm saying that inquiring about the well-being of someone's Israeli relatives is like, inherently devaluing the well-being of other ppl and I very much am not saying that and do not believe that. I'm just enormously emotionally dysregulated and this got me kind of stream of consciousness about all of the things I have been chasing around in my brain about this.

#jewish #long post #israel palestine tag

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shortpplfedup · 16 days

Text

We Are Episodes 6-8: The talking stage, and how to escape it

One of my consistent complaints about New Siwaj has been his penchant for daily minutiae and character antics and how much of it he injects into his stories, and how that feels like it disrupts the movement of his narratives. Who knew the solution was just to let him make a whole show about daily minutiae and character antics, without much of a narrative for it to disrupt. This is by far the most I have ever enjoyed a New Siwaj show. IDK if this is what Star and Sky attempted to give (I ain't watching that), but when your concept is 'dudes vibing', it does help if they have some vibes. The cast is most of the reason to be here, granted, but they ARE a good reason.

If this show has a core, I'd argue its core is Toey, and specifically how this loving bunch of of queers adopted a baby gay and did everything possible to ensure that he was happy and cared for, while falling for each other along the way. Everybody in this group shows up for Toey, always, and I love it so much.

This show has put a lot of time and attention into slowly building its core ships, spending an extended period examining that dreaded hell known as 'the talking stage'. Phum/Peem and Q/Toey know they feel attraction and a vibe, both couples have even kissed already (in Phum and Peem's case more than once). But flirting is not dating, and everybody's very clear on that even if they're clear on nothing else. I kind of like that these things are not expected to be assumed or understood, nobody's going to become a couple without having a conversation about it in this universe. I like the effort these boys put into thinking through their feelings, and being intentional. Are they overthinking it a little? Of course they are, they're what, 20? But that's GOOD, that they're thinking it all through and really trying to understand how they feel and what they want to do about it.

That extends out to the side ships of Tan/Fang and Pun/Chain who are on the extremes of this: we saw Tang grab the tiger by the tail, asking Fang out and getting a positive response; Pun and Chain on the other hand, well they're doing their best it seems to neither think nor talk about their clear feelings for each other AT ALL, leaving them in this weird 'just friends' space even as they behave like a couple.

We're halfway through this show and I'm ready to update my couple scores.

Q and Toey: 3/4 hearts

These two take a teensy dip for me because I hate to see Toey cry, but they're on the right path now.

Phum and Peem: 3/4 hearts

+1 for Peem realising his feelings and Phum making an attempt to confess, -0.5 for Phum not committing and Kluen hanging about.

Tan and Fang: 3.5/4 hearts

How is it I love them the most? They understand each other, they like each other, and they don't want to change each other.

Pun and Chain: 2.5/4 hearts

I fully expect their score to go up as we enter the second half of this thing, but there still isn't a whole lot going on. Still, them losing focus and having a whole-ass moment in front of Peem and Tan at the beginning of episode 7 was fun.

#we are #we are the series #guys being dudes

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miss-musings · 30 days

Text

The Official CrossDad Ranking of The Bad Batch Season 3 Episodes

I love TBB Season 3 so much, and it's partly because of Crosshair's arc and his growing bond with Omega. His attitude toward life in general and her specifically really evolves throughout the season, to the point where he becomes CrossDad™️.

So I thought I'd rank all the S3 episodes by how many and how significant of CrossDad moments we get.

Disclaimer: I'll only be counting episodes where Crosshair and Omega have screentime together (Ep 1, 3-9 and 11).

So, starting with the least CrossDad episode and working our way to the most:

9. Episode 3.01 "Confinement"

Crosshair literally tells Omega that if he had a chance to escape he wouldn't think twice about leaving her behind. Ouch. I’m 99% sure he’s lying, but it’s still not very CrossDad of him to say that.

He also says "I'm not them" when Omega says he's her brother.

But, I guess bro had to start somewhere.

Grade: F

8. Episode 3.03 "Shadows of Tantiss"

Unsurprisingly this is only slightly better. Crosshair's definitely mad at Omega for just winging an escape, but he goes along with it and watches her back. He's definitely not as protective of her here as he is later in the season, but I guess that's to be expected.

The one highlight is, once she thinks they've failed and they'll be killed or recaptured, his Dad instincts kick in and he praises her for getting them as far as she did.

Grade: D

7. Episode 3.08 "Bad Territory"

As much as I love Crosshair and Omega's scenes in Bad Territory -- in fact, they're the only good parts of the whole episode -- I don't think Crosshair acts much like Omega's dad in this episode. More like that older sister-younger brother dynamic she's teased him about before.

However, there are a few crumbs I can highlight:

Crosshair telling her she needs to stay safe and Hunter agreeing with him.

Crosshair's unenthused look when Omega talks about Phee.

As Hunter correctly deduces, Omega is the *only* person Crosshair would listen to about getting his hand examined.

Omega telling Crosshair he doesn't like anything and him agreeing with her.

Crosshair looking very sad and upset when he realizes just how much time he's missed with Omega.

Still, overall, definitely not the most CrossDad episode of the season.

Grade: C

TIE-5. Episode 3.11 "Point of No Return"

This is a weird one, because while we don't get a lot of CrossDad moments with Omega, the episode goes out of its way to make parallels between Crosshair and Hunter to show they're both parental figures to Omega.

I'll talk about this more later on, but one of the ways S3 really solidifies CrossDad is by putting him alongside Hunter so it feels like they're co-parenting Omega together.

This episode does that, in part, by sidelining Wrecker the entire episode. Crosshair and Hunter go up to the colonnade together to get Omega while Wrecker loads the ship, and they watch over Omega together after Wrecker's incapacitated.

And then, we have the parallel between Hunter watching Hemlock's shuttle take Omega away in 2.16 "Plan 99" and Crosshair watching CX-2's shuttle take Omega away from Pabu.

Another poignant parallel that shows Crosshair has become a parental figure to Omega, the way Hunter has been the entire show.

However, I feel like Crosshair ultimately agreeing with Omega's plan to turn herself in is something Hunter would never do. I get that Crosshair was reluctant, tried to talk her out of it and only agreed because he didn't see any better options. But, I still feel like Hunter would never have done that.

Ultimately, I feel like this one's a mixed bag.

Grade: C+

TIE-5. Episode 3.06 "Infiltration"

Admittedly there aren't many CrossDad moments in this one, as the bulk of the runtime is focused on the CX assassins and Rex's clone underground.

But we do get a few:

Omega copies Crosshair's toothpick thing, just like she did with Hunter in 1.01 Aftermath (and her other brothers throughout the series). Now, she's finally copying him, and he takes note of it.

He just nonchalantly tells Omega the Empire's after her again, but once it's clear there's an operative nearby, he freaks out.

Again, the show pairs Crosshair up with Hunter as co-parents talking about Omega's safety and the bigger problems with Hemlock, Tantiss and the CX operatives. Meanwhile Wrecker hangs out with Omega -- like a big brother distracting/entertaining his sister while the "grown-ups" talk.

Not a lot to work with, but it's cute for what we do have.

Grade: C+

4. Episode 3.05 "The Return"

This is another episode where we don't get a ton of one-on-one interactions between Crosshair and Omega, and some of the ones we do get fall more into that brother-sister dynamic (ie, "He started it," and Omega sighing in frustration).

But there are some big CrossDad moments in this episode:

When Omega first approaches the beach and Crosshair looks up at her, his expression definitely changes. It's hard to tell because the focus switches as Batcher comes into the foreground, but it honestly looks like he smiles when he sees her. Or at least his expression "lightens up."

Crosshair has a nice teaching moment with Omega where he describes what it takes to be a good sniper!! :)

Despite his resentment and anger toward Hunter, it's clear that Crosshair agrees with Hunter about not wanting to endanger Omega. In fact, he even defends Hunter's stance to Omega and tells her not to hold it against him.

The "you let Omega be taken to Tantiss" exchange is *chef's kiss*. I feel like I could write entire essays about it.

It's clear that, for the first half of the episode, Hunter doesn't like that Omega and Crosshair are so close. Not only does he not trust Crosshair, but he definitely resents Crosshair for helping Omega escape when he couldn't. I think he's also a bit jealous (???) of all the attention Omega shows Crosshair after she and Hunter have been separated for months. Like, she couldn't even spend one minute having breakfast with him and Wrecker before asking where Crosshair was and immediately going to find him. Hunter also needlessly threw Crosshair a dirty look for seeing how much Omega was following him around before they left for Barton IV. Again, I know it's because he and Crosshair have their own issues -- which they resolve by the end of the episode -- but he never seemed insecure/jealous/resentful of Omega spending so much time with Wrecker, Echo or Tech before.

Overall, this is the one episode where it's clear that, despite their personal differences, Crosshair and Hunter both care about Omega and prioritize her safety. Because they're *both* her dads now.

Side note: the little exchange where Crosshair says he'll handle getting the creature outside the perimeter and Hunter saying "Not alone -- we'll do it together" and then Crosshair asking him if he's sure... you can definitely read that more than one way... :)

Grade: B-

3. Episode 3.04 "A Different Approach"

This episode isn't the *most* CrossDad episode, but I feel like it's the one where Crosshair first starts down the CrossDad path thanks to two big moments:

THE FIRST:

As I said, the show goes out of its way several times to show that Crosshair is on the same path as Hunter -- just two seasons later. While Hunter acted like Omega's dad pretty much from Day 1, Crosshair's just starting his journey in Season 3.

In 1.01 Aftermath, after TBB fails Tarkin's mission, Hunter decides to go back to Kamino for Omega. Even though there's a possibility TBB could be captured or killed if they return to Kamino, Hunter chooses Omega's safety and well-being over his and his squad's freedom.

At the time, Crosshair argued against returning for Omega. But, here in 3.04, he faces the same decision as Hunter: Ensure his own freedom by going to the spaceport OR follow Omega despite the risk of both of them getting (re)captured or killed.

And like Hunter, he chooses Omega over his own freedom and safety.

This was his own Point of No Return, if you will. The moment he first takes up the CrossDad mantle -- never to let it go again.

THE SECOND:

Additionally, in this episode, we have the Imperial officer mistaking Crosshair for Omega's dad. I'm 99% sure that Hunter is the only Bad Batcher who was assumed to be Omega's dad before this episode. I can't recall anyone ever doing that with Echo, Wrecker or Tech before -- just Hunter. (Please correct me if I'm wrong.)

The fact that another character in-universe believes Crosshair is Omega's dad is a purposeful choice by the writers. The captain could've easily said "I've never seen you two around here before," and the conversation could've continued the same way. The fact that he says "dad" is significant, because again, we're drawing parallels between Crosshair and Hunter.

And in this episode, where Crosshair ultimately makes the same "Omega>freedom" choice Hunter did, that seems poignant.

ADDITIONAL POINTS:

Outside of the two big items, I'll only say that there are a few other CrossDad elements in this episode, like him being ready to square up against anyone who threatens Omega. Including a poor street kid. LOL

But, the bulk of the time, he follows her lead. She tells him they need new clothes; she has the idea to bribe the spaceport employee; she decides to "hustle" people at the cantina; and she refuses to go with Crosshair after the Imperials take Batcher. Heck, even the "Let's try things your way" line is still HER decision.

Hunter definitely has his moments where he defers to Omega's judgment (and moments when she just 100% defies or disobeys him), but the narrative and other characters definitely see him as the one who has the final say as the squad leader and her guardian.

So, we can see that Crosshair might be transitioning into a "dad" role, but he's definitely not there yet.

I also like how he grabs the briefcase of credits, even though they didn't really need it anymore. He was like, "I'm not going to let all of Omega's hard work go to waste." LOL

The final moment I want to highlight is Crosshair trying to emotionally prepare Omega that Hunter and Wrecker might not be there. Of course he was wrong, but I appreciate that he was not only looking out for her physical well-being in this episode, but also her emotional well-being too.

Overall, this is one worth being in the Top 3 of Most CrossDad episodes.

Grade: B

2. Episode 3.09 "The Harbinger"

Like 3.05 The Return, we don't have a lot of one-on-one interactions between Crosshair and Omega. But, again, the narrative and other characters go out of their way to treat Crosshair as a full member of The Dad Batch.

Asajj seems to view all three brothers as equally problematic toward Omega's possible Force training. She doesn't single Hunter or Crosshair or Wrecker out more than the other two -- they're all "overprotective shadows" in her eyes.

If anything, I think that shows just how well Crosshair has slotted into the family dynamic in such a short amount of time. Hunter and Wrecker have been with Omega longer and arguably know her better, but Crosshair is just as fiercely protective of her as they are.

It also demonstrates how far he's come in just half a season. Seven episodes ago he said he'd leave her behind without a second thought (although he was probably lying), and now he's fighting a former Sith apprentice because she might be a threat to Omega's safety.

But, while Asajj might view all three brothers the same way -- and to a certain degree they are -- the narrative once again has Wrecker playing a different role in Omega's life while putting Crosshair and Hunter on (near) equal footing.

Multiple times throughout the episode -- namely the family meeting in the Marauder and the final conversation with Asajj -- we see Hunter and Crosshair are framed more as co-parents while Wrecker acts as either guard dog or Omega's distraction while the "grown-ups" talk.

One final point I'll make is that, while Crosshair nominally agreed with Hunter's plan to let Omega train with Asajj alone, he also made it clear he disagreed with Hunter’s decision. He basically gave himself an out. Like: "You might've agreed to let Omega train with a former Separatist assassin unsupervised, but I made no such promise so I can intervene if I see fit. I'm only up here with you guys because of peer pressure."

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a big fan of this episode in general, and honestly wish we could've consolidated it with 3.08 Bad Territory somehow. But, it's definitely a CrossDad heavy episode, and in that respect, I *am* here for it!

Grade: A

1. Episode 3.07 "Extraction"

You all knew this had to be No. 1. It's THE quintessential CrossDad episode!!

I love the little touch of Omega going to look down the spire alongside Crosshair. She really is trying to learn from him, and he doesn't seem to be opposed to it.

As we see later in this episode and again in the finale, once Crosshair knows a CX operative is after them, he volunteers to face him. I know he has all sorts of reasons for wanting to confront CX-2 by himself, but protecting Omega must be one of them.

Once they get away and crash-land in the jungle, we get THE CrossDad conversation -- which was apparently a late addition by the production team.

Once again, he's checking on Omega's physical and emotional well-being. He makes sure she's safe and knows what to do, even though they've been in at least two firefights together at this point.

And once again, we get another parallel between him and Hunter, this time by Omega herself!

Omega: You're as bad as Hunter. Crosshair: Oh, I'm much worse.

He's so fully embraced the CrossDad path that it convinces Howzer (who understandably didn't trust Crosshair earlier in the two-parter) that Crosshair really is different.

Once those Jango Fett "dad genes" kick in, all the clones are practically different people, and Howzer clearly sees that in Crosshair. I'm sure it reminded Howzer of his own time on Ryloth and how much he cared about the Syndulla family and Hera specifically.

We also get a nice allusion to Crosshair's own journey of loyalty. He said earlier in the two-parter that he wasn't loyal to the Empire any longer, but didn't really specify who he was loyal to now. But, Howzer clearly sees Crosshair's now 100% dedicated to his family, especially Omega.

During the first skirmish between the protagonists and the Imperial troops, Crosshair unnecessarily tells Omega, "Stay by my side and stay down."

I say unnecessarily because 1) he should know by now Omega can handle herself and 2) neither Hunter nor Wrecker felt compelled to give her similar directions. But, he's full CrossDad™️ in this episode, so his first priority is her safety. It was also objectively a good idea for Omega to stay with Crosshair, considering he has an infrared sight and could see enemies the others couldn't.

Which is exactly what happens when Crosshair realizes CX-2 is after them. So, once again, he takes on the responsibility of distracting CX-2 so Omega and the others can get to safety.

Omega doesn't like his decision, and in the perfect CrossDad™️ move -- in that it combines all of Crosshair's quintessential traits with those of the quintessential dad -- he turns off his comm and says under his breath: "Too bad." LOL

The fight against CX-2 is so well-done, in part because we see exactly who Crosshair used to be in S1 and who he could've become in S3 if he hadn't resisted Hemlock's "re-education" efforts.

Granted, this was a headcanon someone else shared, but I like the thought that Crosshair was able to resist specifically because of Omega.

Either:

Hemlock controls the CX operatives by enhancing the effects of their inhibitor chips (like what Tarkin & co did to Crosshair in S1); in which case, Crosshair is immune because he took Omega's advice in S1 and removed his inhibitor chip.

While he'd never admit it, I'm sure seeing Omega regularly (probably daily) on Tantiss gave him some amount of hope and comfort in an otherwise desolate and isolated environment. In which case, he had something to hold onto mentally and emotionally while he was being tortured. This would be a nice parallel to Hemlock interrogating him in S2. He didn't break then because he was clearly thinking about his family, and it'd poignant if that was the case again in S3.

In any case, 3.07 Extraction is, without a doubt, the most CrossDad episode in S3. I honestly wish we could've gotten more episodes like it, or just more S3 episodes in general. But, I'm thankful we got to see Crosshair and Omega grow so much -- both individually and together -- this season.

Grade: A+

EDIT/UPDATE:

Episode 3.15 "The Cavalry Has Arrived"

I initially said I wasn't going to grade the finale, because I felt like it'd be too hard. But I kinda had a change of heart:

While I won't put it in the official ranking, I will share some thoughts and give it a general score.

This is another episode that falls into same category as 3.05 "The Return": Omega and Crosshair might not have a lot of screentime together, but the narrative and other characters go out of their way to reinforce Crosshair's role as a co-parent to Omega.

The first time Crosshair mentions Omega is in the "change of plans" scene. It's genuinely heartbreaking for a myriad of reasons, but one is that Crosshair doesn't feel like Omega needs him the way she needs Hunter and Wrecker.

I personally don't feel like this is a very CrossDad moment. Him doing whatever it took to infiltrate Tantiss and rescue Omega -- absolutely. But deprecating himself and saying he deserves to die -- definitely not.

(Tech's sacrifice was different, because there was no alternative. That definitely wasn't the case for Crosshair.)

Look, I know why he says it. He must feel like Hunter and Wrecker genuinely mean more to her, and after letting her surrender on Pabu and missing the shot to track her ship, he probably also feels like he failed her and doesn't deserve to be in her life anymore.

Thank goodness Hunter and Wrecker talk sense into him! (Btw, I love their little look at each other when he says "Omega needs you both." They're like, "Buddy, she'd be devastated if you died. That ain't happening.")

And I love that it's Hunter who emphasizes to him that Omega needs all three of them in her life. This moment -- plus the final confrontation later -- shows how far Hunter and Crosshair's dynamic has evolved, especially regarding Omega.

Moving on, the next time we get a real CrossDad moment is when Hunter says he's going after Omega and recommends Crosshair stay behind.

Considering that Echo and Wrecker were still fighting the CX clones, Crosshair covering them from above would've been helpful. So it wasn't a terrible suggestion on Hunter's part, but that's not Crosshair's place emotionally or narratively.

If Hunter's going after Omega, he is too. They're going to do it together, as they've said since 3.05.

And I'll say: once again, the narrative sidelines Wrecker while putting Hunter and Crosshair on (near) equal footing.

Wrecker stepped into his role as the team's Tank and fought off the CX clones long enough to give Hunter (and Crosshair) a chance to save Omega. His role in the story -- just like in Omega's life -- is important, but it is different from Hunter and Crosshair's roles.

And now we have THE SCENE.

Holy crap. I can't tell you, as a CrossDad fan or just a TBB fan in general, how much I adore this scene!!!

Hunter and Crosshair take out CX-2's Dagger together. I'm sure they both had their respective flashbacks of helplessly watching Omega be taken away, and they both thought, "OH HELL NO!! We're not letting that happen again!"

They take every move together. They destroy the Dagger; they shoot Scorch; they take a knee on the bridge after Hemlock puts the blaster to Omega's head. They're in total lock step.

Until Hunter catches Omega's signal, but Crosshair apparently doesn't.

So, Hunter tells him what he needs to do. He physically and emotionally supports him in that moment.

It's also crazy to think that Hunter is trusting Crosshair with Omega's life, and the fact that Crosshair is hesitant to shoot while Hunter is encouraging him. How far these kids have come since 1.01 Aftermath!

As I've alluded to before, Crosshair has been kind of speed-running through Hunter's Dad arc from S1-2. Now, he gets to the moment where he must fully accept how capable Omega is and trust her. This is something Hunter has understandably struggled with before, but he seems to have made his peace with it by this point.

But, Crosshair hasn't.

He loves Omega so much AND has lost so much confidence in his own abilities for numerous reasons that he can't stand the thought of potentially hurting her.

It's a far cry from the shot he made to save her in 1.16, when he had full confidence in his abilities and didn't seem to realize or care that he might endanger her if he missed.

But, with Hunter's support and Omega's faith, he makes it!

And now the hug:

Omega runs toward them, but rather than flinging herself onto one or both of them, she stops a few feet away and smiles. It's only when she sees Crosshair's missing his right hand that she goes to hug him first.

(BTW, the English-Audio Description version confirms that Crosshair's eyes well with tears in that moment.)

Crosshair definitely doesn't like to be touched. We've seen this as far back as 1.01 Aftermath, when Wrecker's messing with him. His brothers and Omega seem to be the only people he'll accept physical affection from, and even then, he doesn't really reciprocate it.

Until now.

He doesn't use his arms, but he closes his eyes and presses his head against Omega's as she hugs him. Also, once they start walking back, he puts his right stump on her shoulder.

Side note: others have pointed out how Hunter's body language in that scene suggested he wanted Omega to hug Crosshair first, that he was happy when she did, and that he hugged both Omega and Crosshair back. I agree with this assessment. Hunter clearly understands how important Crosshair and Omega are to each other, and really reinforces how all of them are a family together.

Now, I really wish we could've gotten one post-Tantiss conversation between Omega and Crosshair, because they haven't had an onscreen conversation since 3.11. (Although that's better than poor Wrecker, who hasn't had an onscreen conversation with Omega since 3.09.)

But, I do love that, once Crosshair and Wrecker settle into their "family portrait" pose, Crosshair is on Hunter's side. Again, it's significant to their relationship as brothers, as well as co-parents to Omega. They're going to be supporting each other for the long run. (Wrecker too, but I would imagine in a different way based on his role in the narrative.)

One final thing I'll mention is that, in the epilogue, Hunter says, "You're our kid, Omega. You always will be."

Hunter might've been the first one to step into the role of Omega's Dad, but he also recognizes that he didn't raise her alone. She's not just his kid. She's Crosshair and Wrecker and Tech and Echo's kid too. They all raised her, together.

It reinforces the same point as 3.09: Crosshair might've been the last brother to officially join the Dad Batch, but he was a full member all the same. Even Hunter acknowledges that.

Anyway, looking at the finale on the CrossDad ranking, it's a weird one, because we only have a few CrossDad moments in the hourlong episode. But, man, do those moments really pack a punch!

If I have to grade it, I think it'd put it in the same ballpark as 3.05 "The Return." It hits a lot of similar beats as far as the Hunter-Crosshair dynamic and how the narrative once again frames them as co-parents to Omega.

But, we got the long-awaited Crosshair-Omega hug, so I think that automatically bumps it up from a B- to a B!

Grade: B

*****

Here's to hoping that, somewhere down the line, we'll get a Bad Batch comic, novel, spin-off show, cameo... something! I'd love to get more CrossDad content, but I suppose fanfics will have to do for now! LOL

Thanks for reading 'til the end, especially now that I've added in the super-long finale analysis. :)

#crossdad #crosshair and omega #omega and crosshair #the bad batch #the dad batch #tbb #tbb spoilers #tbb season 3 #tbb crosshair #crosshair tbb #tbb omega #omega tbb #star wars #crossfather #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch crosshair #clone trooper crosshair

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suzukiblu · 4 months

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I know it's totally wrong for what you're shooting for but your stories make me feel bad for Clark. All these folks judging him, when as far as he can tell Kon doesn't even want to be around him. And honestly, he's had clones before. No one expected him to mourn when a Bizarro degraded

. . . okay, friend, first off I apologize, because I def got carried away with this response and it turned into a bit of a rant, hah. Please don't take any of this the wrong way or get the impression I'm annoyed by this ask or anything, I just fundamentally disagree with SO many things about how Clark's relationship with Kon has been handled in canon and apparently I had to word-vomit a lot of that out here and now in explanation of why I tend to write Clark as being Objectively Wrong about Kon/how he treats Kon.

A) There's no convincing reason I can think of that Clark should think Kon doesn't want to be around him, and if he DID, why would he have given him permission to wear the El crest to begin with, much less offered him either the name "Superboy" or "Kon-El"? Especially Kon-El, because that's a name that originated from a specifically ADOPTED member of his birth family, and Clark offered it to him while CALLING him family, but also . . . lying to him about having a secret identity? And whole-ass other life??

and also

B) I actually WOULD expect Clark to mourn a Bizarro degrading. That's like his whole deal, in my experience of him across various media: Clark Kent is a person who thinks that every person matters and is undeniably the kind of guy that would be upset by someone suffering from genetically-inevitable degradation. Especially if the people suffering that degradation only exist to suffer it because HE, Clark "I Am Personally Responsible For This Whole Damn Planet, And Yes That IS A Threat" Kent, exists.

Like, Clark always takes way too much on himself. So it doesn't really make sense to me that a dude like that would take one look at a kid with his own face who is actually at best about a month old and just decide "yeah, this person doesn't need me ever involved in their life at all" and STICK with that assessment even through repeated problems, near-death experiences, and straight-up disasters. ESPECIALLY because Clark already knew Matrix, and she was ALSO a genetic experiment who'd been made in his image by someone he didn't have any reason to trust. But he still took Mae to his parents' farm and let her live there pretty much immediately, trusted her with SO many of his secrets and even trusted her living with his parents without, again, having to jump through ANY of the MULTITUDE of hoops that Kon did to earn a similar level of trust, and she eventually started dating literal LEX LUTHOR and Clark still trusted her after THAT!

( I mean, I think everyone thought Lex was his own son at the time or something weird like that, Because Comics, but still! STILL!! )

Shit, Clark still trusted Mae after she had a mental breakdown ON HIS PARENTS and tried to attack him and had a severe enough psychotic break that she thought she literally WAS him! Mae very quickly proved herself to be WAY more dangerous and hostile than Kon has EVER been outside of being directly mind-controlled, but from the jump Clark is way more invested in her and her life and CARES way more about her and her life. And later he responds to Kara just as differently as he did Mae, despite her ALSO debuting as both a more dangerous and more hostile person than Kon. So like . . . there's a bit of a double-standard going there, it kind of feels like? Like, at least on a meta-level. And I'm sure most of it's editorial nonsense and the kind of narrative problems that lie inherent in like . . . what, thirty-plus years of comic history and about eight bajillion different writers and the like, obviously, but it just is REAL hard to justify that behavior in the actual narrative when Clark Kent is meant to be the moral paragon that the entire damn rest of the DC universe is meant to set its metaphorical watch by.

Either way, though, I'm usually trying to write Clark as either sympathetic or at least understandable in his logic, even when it's flawed, so I wouldn't really say it's "wrong" if you feel sympathy for him while reading my writing. Like, I'm not saying he's in the right in those specific fics, but I do still want to be empathetic to his point of view. It is again just REALLY hard for me to explain a lot of Clark's canon relationship with Kon in any way other than "benign neglect due to just deliberately assuming that all Kryptonians are always Perfectly Fine, Thanks due to his own personal issues about what 'Superman' represents", and that's the KIND option.

Long story short, I really just don't care what DC says, It is NOT on the brand-new teenager with zero life experience who Clark deliberately LET put an S-shield-shaped target on their back to single-handedly foster a relationship with the perfect superhero idol that most of the damn world looks up to. I genuinely cannot think of a single significant occasion where Clark ever does anything for Kon that involves CLARK having to put in any kind of recurring effort, but we're supposed to accept that KON has to earn scraps of Clark's attention and the right to be considered a part of his family over and over again--while Clark, again, doesn't have to do anything to earn Kon's attention or the right to be considered a part of HIS family? Ever? Even ONCE??

Relationships are two-way streets, DC! That's just how relationships are, DC!! Otherwise it's just parasocial bullshit or someone taking advantage of someone else, DC!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I really love Clark, I think he's a great character in a lot of fascinating ways and that he is VERY interesting and affecting when he's done well ("you can do anything you want, and all you want to do is help people" HELLO CRYING IN THE CLUB RN), but like . . . come on, DC, what the fuck and WHY?

#confusedguytoo #meta ecetera

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