#and shes a jock of the ninth

[lunaicfantastic]

fav part of gideon the ninth is for the first pre-canaan house chunk of the book, she's all "ugh I'm so normal surrounded by all these weirdo goth freaks when I blow this popsicle stand everyone will see how cool and normal and charming I am" and then she gets to canaan house and realizes that while she might have been a normie jock in the ninth house she is not exempt from being a goth weirdo who hides important doors behind tapestries and sneaks around in the dark so she doesn't have to talk to people. like we talk about her being a jock forced to be goth but nature v nurture babey she's not shedding that bone freak skin anytime soon

#gideon the ninth #and she realizes this its really funny #every time she does some ninth house shit shes like damn this is some ninth house shit :/ #and then she does it anyway #i actually think its a cool piece of character work: gideon goes from seeing herself outside of/in opposition to the ninth house #in the beginning of the book #to feeling a part of/a soldier for the ninth house (and harrow specifically who gideon sees as the epitome of the ninth) #even during her brief backslide where she goes and talks shit with the eighth she can't really separate herself the way she could before #and when the chips are down and isaac and jeannemary are dead she wants two things: her longsword (a relic of aiglamene's training) #and harrow #so #yeah shes a jock but shes a goth weirdo freak jock #and shes a jock of the ninth #shut up anna

[saddest-girl-in-the-whole-world]

broke: of the ninth youths, ortus is the poet

woke: of the ninth youths, ortus AND harrow are huge poets, harrow remembers tons of ortus poetry and she says stuff like "first flower of my house" like oh my god

bespoke: ortus, harrow AND Gideon are all poetic little shits, do you remember when Harrow confessed her greatest sin to Gideon and Gideon proceeded to engage in a little baptism?? a little ritualistic drowning, washing harrow of her sins??? declaring her wedding vows right before sacrificing herself??? I'm not sure what they put in the articles of Gideons magazines but she is definitely a poetic little shit, dear lord

#butch jock realness cant save you from growing up near ortus #shes way too cool to admit it but oh this girl is so fucking into melodramatics #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #tlt spoilers #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus

[indigobackfire]

Having absorbed enough Locked Tomb series content, highly recommend it btw, I realize Merula is not a bad character, she's just badly written.

#there's a lot i see in harrowhark. one of the mcs of the series. that would've been great if applied to Merula #like having moments of *true* honesty #which is different from using her trauma with her parents to manipulate mc into pity #showing us her true capabilities and ambitions instead of having her perturb us every other side quest and be petulant #giving us actual good reasons why she'd fall into the hands of people trying to manipulate her when she's 'so clever' #have her once admit her complicated feelings towards mc yet how that doesn't change anything #she could've been SO much more interesting. it makes me mad #also ianthe and ismelda parallels that are just so yum yummy #trust me. they can make ismelda weirder (and if they try to normalize her as an adult I'll riot) #the locked tomb #hogwarts mystery #hphm #merula snyde #also go read gideon the ninth. necromantic wizards basically. with a funny jock protagonist. that's all you need to know. now go read it

[daisukitoo]

I am 40% of the way through Gideon the Ninth. There are no plot spoilers below.

What is refreshing about Gideon as a protagonist and POV character is that she is a jock. She fundamentally does not care about all this nerd shit going on, i.e. the entire setting and plot. She misses exposition, background, and other explanations because, as one person who starts explaining how magic works observes, "right, you're not even pretending to pay attention."

Most writers are writers, so this is not a common perspective for a book to hold. Plot-relevant details can be sprinkled freely because Gideon's narrative will see them and not even shrug before moving on.

GIdeon lacks the emotional and mental maturity to be a good person. She is not evil as such, just apparently unaware of the existence of moral implications. When we meet her, her motivation is to get out of this hick town and join the military, because fighting is glorious and cool and this hick town sucks. She likes weapons and fighting and working out and hot chicks. She fantasizes about leading military charges that bring death to new worlds and fuel necromantic rituals because that would mean hot goth babes would see how cool she is and be grateful. She does not dwell on the thought of worlds that apparently have never known death and her plan to look cool leading imperial invasions and killing enough people to fuel necromantic rituals. She does dwell on the thought of that prissy bitch from her high school having to see how cool and hot she is now that she's a war hero who gets medals and hot babes.

You as the reader can be carried along very quickly by this incurious perspective that does not think twice about things. You as the reader may want Gideon to backtrack and dwell on something or explore it further. The weirdness of the setting is more or less swept under the rug by Gideon's not noticing it. 98.5% of the children on a planet gone (died?), but Gideon doesn't devote a second sentence to boring backstory like that. What was that about galactic conquest, in a setting where the main weapons are swords and necromantic magic? How little advancement has there been in technology or magic in 10,000 years, despite a possibly continuous civilization that whole time? Or some references to what sound like dark ages? Damned if Gideon cares or even notices.

The necromancers are dying to talk shop about their powers. Gideon rolls her eyes and wants to talk to that woman about the cool flip she did, because Gideon wants to look cool doing flips during fights and have girls notice how cool she looks. Also her biceps. Gideon cannot pay attention for a full sentence on necromantic magic, but she does have a half-page to dwell on girls noticing how big her biceps are.

#gideon the ninth #tlt #the locked tomb #tamsyn muir #gideon nav

[sunshinem0ths]

trying to read harrow the ninth after spending the whole first book in the head of a jock who actively tuned out exposition and made "that's what she said" jokes

#a quarter of the way in and so far have recieved no answers only question #took me way longer than it should have to read the river scene because i was so fucking confused #having fun though!!! if yelling incoherently and crying about how much i miss gideon counts as fun #tlt #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth #harrow nonagesimus #gideon nav #bookblr #words on pages

[fleshadept]

part of the reason the locked tomb characters are so memorable and complex is because they are very, very weird in the way only writers who understand that every human being is a little freak in their own way. harrow is the standout example of this—she is unnerringly pious to the rites of her religion in a way that to others comes across as zealotry but once we get into her point of view is revealed to be both, yes, because she is a zealot and also because the rituals and safety of painting her face, praying, etc calm her down. she eats penitently because she actually hates strong tastes. she is both schizophrenic and quite literally haunted, facts that recontextualize her behavior in gtn in an important way.

gideon is a butch and this universe’s version of a jock, and the first thing we see her do is try to escape harrow and the ninth and join the army (something that’s forgotten a little too often when people talk about her being “out of character” in ntn) because she wants to have a purpose, but we also come to learn that despite being raised in the literal dreariest place in the solar system she’s funny, sometimes even on purpose. she doesn’t know what a salad is. she reads sleazy porn magazines. she’s a talented swordswoman but is head over heels for every pretty woman she meets, to her own detriment at times.

every character is like this! they feel so real and complex because they have contradictions and weaknesses and opinions and incorrect beliefs and correct ones that are hard to tell the difference between.

#this is all to say you could do a homestuck intro for all of them. #cricket chirps #tlt #the locked tomb #gtn #gideon the ninth #htn #harrow the ninth #htn spoilers #i could also talk about how the gradual expanding of the zone of our awareness works to make the world more complex #because every book it feels like you have at least a significant part of the picture before realizing that what you thought was the most #important was actually a small thread in what’s actually going on

[nonasbirthday]

I just saw ur post about ppl hating on Gideon and now I'm sad I know shes not real but like... I love her. She's not a burden to read through and get to know before you get to the other books she's a delight and I want to hold her idc if they dont like puns!

SHE'S A DELIGHT!! i think of this post from @carys-the-ninth: If you don't love me at my comicbook-loving jock goofball butch book you don't deserve me at my schizophrenic self-destructive reality-warping nun book

#ultimately i think gtn separates the wheat from the chaff so to speak #you either get it (read: have good taste and don't hate fun) or you don't #the locked tomb

[uhmprobablynot]

Sorry I’m a little late but I would love to see a part 2 to the bully fic, part 1 was awesome.

love your writing<3

The moment we have all been waiting for.... Bully/Jock!Schlatt part 2, the squeakual, hope you guys enjoy this one as much as the last one. I have a third part 2/3rds of the way written with a full full smut scene and minor angst teehee but I wanted to get this out to y'all asap,,, anyway enjoy!!

my friend who wanted to be tagged: @toesforhoesbros

Part One > Part Two > Part Three

The following afternoon came slowly, your nerves making the time seem to drag. You put on the jersey Schlatt gave you and left for the field. When you got there, you told the ticketer your name, and he handed you a pass. “Show this to the security guard inside. He’ll walk you to where you need to go.” You thank him and move into the arena. You find a security guard rather quickly and he walks you down the stairs to some reserved sears behind the dugout. 

“Hi!” a perky voice says from beside you. The voice comes from a pretty blonde girl who is wearing a similar jersey to the one you are wearing. “My name is Ash. I’ve never seen you here before.” You shake your head. 

“Nope, first time here.” Ash just laughs and gestures for you to sit next to her. You do. 

“My boyfriend is number 22, his name is Zach.” She leans so you can see the 22 and Carlton across the back. “Which one is yours?” You laugh nervously. “None of them?” Ash gives you a confused look.

“What do you mean ‘none of them’,” she air quotes. “You’re on girlfriend row. One’s gotta be yours.” You blush as you remember Schlatt’s hesitation when he mentioned the section you would sit in. “Who’s on your jersey then?” Ash touches your shoulder to get a look at your back. She laughs, and doesn’t stop. “The baby of the team, how cute.” She stands up and bangs on the dugout. This causes Zach to look up towards her. He runs to meet her at the net. 

“This is Schlatt’s ‘not-girlfriend-even-though-she’s-sitting-here-wearing-his-jersey-girlfriend’!” You blush as she introduces you. 

“No, no. It’s not like that. The guy barley put up with me!” You try to defend. Zach only laughs. 

“Well, not girlfriend,” he starts. “Looks like he has some explaining to do, then.” He smiles and blows a kiss towards Ash before going into the dugout. Ash looks at your dumbfounded face and cackles. She pulls you into her side. “I have a feeling I’m going to be seeing a lot more of you.” She giggles, then points out into the field. “Schlatt is in the outfield, warming up.” Your cheeks get warm as you look towards him. 

He’s far out, but you can see how the uniform fits him perfectly; the pants tight against his thighs, his short sleeve jersey showing how his biceps as he throws the ball. 

“Yeah,” Ash starts. “The uniform does wonders for the boys.” She leans in closer. “Especially their asses, I mean whew.” Suddenly, the cement under your feet is way more interesting than the field in front of you. Ash just cackles again. 

You hear a yell from the dugout and all the players from your school move back in towards it. Schlatt runs in field and spots you. He smiles, then sees Ash and it drops as his cheeks go pink. Ash nudges you and indicator that she saw what just happened. You went to say a smart remark but as you started too, the announcer started calling out the lineups. The game was starting. 

As the ninth inning winds down, your school’s team is one behind. Schlatt is up to bat. If he doesn’t hit the ball enough for at least the man on third base to get it home, the game is over. The pitcher opposite of Schlatt wipes the sweat off of his forehead, and Schlatt grips the bat harder. The pitcher winds. A clank echoes through the stadium. Schlatt hit the baseball and its moving high and fast towards the outfield. Ash and you grab each other’s arm, the tension in the stadium is thick. Schlatt runs and all the other men on the field do, too. Then the ball goes over the fence and the entire stadium erupts. The first home run of the season. Four full points to your school’s team, four winning points to your school’s team. 

Ash and you yell as the announcers yell home run and all the boys make it to home plate. Schlatt looks up at you as you pass it and you and Ash cheer louder. 

“Come on!” Ash says, grabbing your hand and begins leading you. 

“Where are we going?” You ask as she weaves you in and out of leaving guests. 

“The lobby.” She answers plainly, as if that would answer your question. Ash opened a door to a quiet hallway with seats that lined the walls. “The players come out of that door after they shower and get changed.” You looked at the door. She took your hand and pulled you down to a seat next to her. 

“Look, obviously there is something between you and Schlatt. I’ve known him for almost three years now. And he’s never brought a girl here.” You felt embarrassment flood your veins. You went to say something as you heard footsteps from the other side of the door. The door opened and a few of the guys from the team, including Zach, walked out. Ash stood up and ran into his arms. 

“Hey,” he said, wobbling to you as Ash hadn’t let go yet. “Nice to see you on the other side of the net.” You waved and congratulated him on the game. “Not me,” he laughed. “That was your not-boyfriend who won.” The wave of embarrassment came back again. Schlatt walked in at that same moment. “Speak of the devil!” Zach yelled. 

“We should leave,” Ash said as you and Schlatt looked at each other. Zach nodded.

“Hi,” Schlatt said. 

“Hi,” you responded. “That last swing was great. Congrats.” Schlatt blushed and chuckled. 

“Thank you.” You both just stood in the hallway, looking at each other. “Thank you for coming, by the way.” His voice was quiet and genuine. You smiled at his sudden timidness. 

“Well, you gave me a jersey and a free ticket. I couldn’t have not.” You smile up at him.

“Uh,” He stutters. “Do you need a ride?” 

“Yeah,” You hesitate. “If that’s alright with you.” “I asked dumbass, come on.” Schlatt and you began walking out to his car. He unlocks the car, putting his stuff in the back seat. You reach to open your door and he yells. “What are you doing?” You say, startled by his sudden yelling. He runs to the passenger side of the door and opens it for you. 

“I might be an asshole.” He leans on the door as you get in. “But I am a gentleman.” He closes the door after winking at you, then begins his walk to the driver’s side. While he can’t see it, you take a shaky breath. You quickly realized the mistake as the car smells just like him, and it makes you dizzy with a feeling you can’t label. Schlatt opens the driver's door and climbs in. He starts up his car but stops before he puts it in reverse. 

“Do you want to get dinner with me?” His gaze is pleading, the same as when the professor asked you to tutor him. Except now, it was hopeful too. 

“I’d love to.” 

“You’d love to?” His voice is soft, but his gaze is intense. You nod, not confident your voice would be anything but a breathy agreement. He smiles wide and genuine, and your heart soars. You’ve never seen a smile like that from Schlatt, but you would do anything to make him do it over and over again. 

Schlatt takes you to his favorite restaurant near campus, a small chicken wing place. He swore by the food. By the time the waiter had come with the check, both of your plates were entirely clean. You offered to help with the check, but he simply called you an idiot and handed the waiter his card. Dinner was full of laughs and Schlatt’s wide and full smile. The walk back to his car was slow, both of you wanting to put off the inevitable end of the night. When you get to the car, Schlatt once again opens the door for you, but this time offers you his hand as you step into the car. For balance. You try to rationalize with yourself. 

Schlatt closes the door behind you and enters his side. He starts the car and his music floods the car. You can see the lights of the city shimmer through his windshield. The entire feels like magic. 

“Do you want to get together tomorrow?” Schlatt asks you breaking the soft quiet and you feel your insides flutter. You look over towards him. He is watching his hands grip the steering wheel. 

“You really can’t get rid of me.” You say smirking. Schlatt chuckles. 

“As much as that is the truth, I also have some ideas for the professor’s project.” He looks over at you and leans on the middle console, his face coming within inches of yours. “And I would enjoy my tutors’ professional opinions.” He whispers. You glance down at his lips, unable to stop yourself as he speaks. When he finishes speaking, you look at his eyes, which are now watching your lips.

 “That, uh,” You clear your throat and look through the windshield. “That sounds great.” Schlatt sighs lightly before shifting in his seat. He asks where you live and you tell him. You feel yourself cringe at how awkward the atmosphere has become. You try to talk a few times, but it never feels like the right moment or the right thing to say. He pulls in front of your place. You get out of the car and Schlatt does too. You look at him confused, and he smirks. 

“I’m walking you to your door, least I can do for keeping you so late.” You smile and begin the walk towards your door. 

When you finally get there, you hesitate before putting your key in the door, and turn to face Schlatt. 

“Thank you again for tonight, today really. Iit’s been so,” You breathe in. “So wonderful.” Schlatt smiles at you but says nothing. “The game invite was more than enough, but then the jersey.” You continue needing to fill the silence. “Then you winning the game, which was amazing, and dinner and-” His lips on yours cut you off. The softness of his lips is contradicted by the slight scratch of his scruff against your face. You kiss back as soon as you understand what is happening, but he still pulls away too quickly. 

“Sorry,” He licks his lips. “I just really, really wanted to kiss you.” You smile and pull him back to your lips. He kisses you back. This time, though, the both of you are confident. He grabs your waist and uses your gasp to let his tongue enter your mouth. The kiss becomes a fight for dominance mixed with clashing teeth. Your screaming lungs force you to pull away, and the both of you pant, catching your breaths. 

“Do you want to come in?” You ask and he takes a sharp breath. 

“That-” He kisses you again, gentler but still passionate. “That’s’ not why I kissed you.” You glanced up at him and smiled. 

“I know.” He kisses you again, weighing his options. 

“As much as I want to,” He said, grabbing the side of your face, forcing you to look at him. “I want to take you on a proper date. I told you; I’m a gentleman.” 

“Well gentleman Schlatt,” He laughs at the name. “I will see you tomorrow.” You turned to put the key into the door, but he stopped you. 

“Do you think I could have your number? That way we can actually plan tomorrow, and that date?” It was your turn to laugh, but you gave him your number and finally opened your door. As you entered, he turned away, but you called out to him. 

“Will you text when you get home?” He smiles and nods and says goodnight before walking to his car. 

You lean against the door and touch your lips that are swollen from Schlatt’s own. As you get ready for bed, your phone beeps. 

Unknown Number: It’s Schlatt, I just got home. 

You smile and type your reply

You: Thanks for letting me know. Thank you again for tonight. 

Schlatt: It’s really not a problem, I enjoyed myself too, a lot. 

Schlatt: As for tomorrow, the library is open on Sunday and it’s usually empty. We could meet there like usual?

You: That sounds like a plan, same time as usual? 

Schlatt: Would noon work? I want to spend more than just an hour with you… Even if it is just doing history.

You: Noon sounds perfect. I’ll see you then. Goodnight :)

Schlatt: Goodnight Y/n 

You’re in bed by the time Schlatt sends his last message and you can’t help but laugh and smile widely as your heart flutters. 

The next morning, as you get ready, you can’t help but get a little more done up than you usually would. Figuring a skirt would help you look cute while also combatting the heat, nothing if not at least practical. 

As you walked into the library, Schlatt was nowhere to be seen. You texted him, wondering where he was. 

Schlatt: Walk towards the study rooms. I’m back in a corner. Was weirdly crowded earlier, the only seat I could find. 

You followed Schlatt’s instructions, and you spotted him in a back corner hidden by bookshelves. He saw you at the same time and his eyes drifted down towards the skirt, watching your legs as you moved towards him. Maybe a valid third reason for the skirt, you thought to yourself. 

“Dressed to impress, are we?” He asks as you sit across from him.

“Don’t know. Are you impressed?” Schlatt seems awestruck at your comment, flushing before nodding. You smirk. “What’s your project ideas?” Schlatt clears his throat. 

“I was thinking I would do it on the effects of computer history both when they first came around and now.” His voice was soft, shy almost. 

“I think,” you started. “That is a fantastic idea!” “Really?” “I was half expecting you to do something about baseball.” You admitted, and Schlatt laughed lightly. 

“I thought about it, but I hate being predicable.” He smiled, and you reflected the look. “Do you want to come look?” You nodded and moved next to him to see his laptop. Schlatt lightly groaned as you sat next to him. You looked at him, worried. 

“Everything okay?” He nods, embarrassed that the noise actually came out of him. 

“Yeah, you just smell really nice.” It was now your turn to be embarrassed.

“Thank you,” you squeaked, putting your focus on the screen in front of you. Schlatt, however, grabbed your jaw, turning you to face him and kissed you. As he pulled away, he smirked at your fluttering eyelashes. 

“Now,” he said, pulling up his presentation. “Time for history.” You nodded and focused in on his presentation. You started reading what he had done. And you felt his breath close to your neck. 

“Schlatt,” you stuttered. “What are you doing?” he shushed you. 

“Focus on history, sweetheart.” You took in a shaky breath as you tried to force yourself to focus back on his presentation. He kissed your neck and you couldn’t help the light whimper that left your throat. You could feel his smirk against your neck. 

“When did you do all of this?” he kissed your neck again before moving back slightly. 

“Last night when I got home.” His whispered words fanned across the skin of your neck. “I had to distract myself from thinking of certain propositions given to me last night.” You felt your neck get hot as the thought of your door way flashed in your mind.

“And here I thought I pushed too far.” You whispered. Schlatt shook his head. His hand fell to your knee, and you took a sharp breath in. 

“Is this okay?”

 “Schlatt, we’re in a library.”

 “Y/n,” he said lowly, and a shiver went down your spine as he said your name. “I asked if this was okay, not where we are, my pretty thing.” The nickname made you close your eyes and subconsciously your thighs tightened together. Schlatt chuckled and his hand gripped your knee a little tighter. “As much as I take that as a good sign,” he moves up towards your ear before whispering. “I want to hear you say it.” You swallow even though your throat is dry. 

“Yes,” you whisper after scanning the area around you for people. His hand moves further up your thigh.

 “There’s no one back here.” His hand moves under your thigh before picking it up and draping it over his. “As long as you stay quiet.” He continues. With your thigh draped over his, he has better access further up your leg. “Come on, baby, keep reading.” His fingers trace circles on the inside of your thigh. Close enough to your heat that you're sure he can feel in on his hand. His hand grazes over your underwear and your breath hitches and your eyes close. “Sweetheart focus, I would hate to have to stop now.” You whimper and he shushes you lightly. “Maybe reading at loud would help keep your focus.” You inhale deeply.

“S-since the 1940s, computer engineers have followed.” His finger tips grazed over your clit through your underwear and you stuttered. 

“F-f-followed,” Schlatt mocked, “I know you can read better than that.” Clenched around nothing at his mean words, and he pressed his fingertips harder into you. “Keep going.” 

“Followed Moore’s law, which is the theory that computer switches halve in size every two years.” His fingers pushed your underwear to one side, feeling the wet that has pooled there and dragging his finger from your slit before lightly circling your clit. 

“Take them off.” He whispered as you finished the slide. You stared at him wide eyed. He dragged his finger down, then up again to emphasise his point. “Stop being dumb. Take them off.” You nodded, removing your thigh from his, and moving your shaky hands up under your skirt before pulling down your underwear. He held out his hand, and you gave them to him, and he smirked before whispering, “Good girl.” Schlatt grabbed your thigh, moving it back to where it was before moving his hand back between your thighs. His hand hovered over your heat but not touching it. You looked at him, waiting for him to move, but he didn’t. 

You looked back at his PowerPoint and began reading again. As you read, his hand moved. His finger dipped down before entering slowly. You did your best to keep your voice steady as his finger slowly pushed in and out of you. Each time he did, his finger curled in and out. As you finished another slide with no mistakes, he added another finger. The stretch stinging but was quickly soothed by how good he felt. As another slide finished, he used his thumb to circle your clit. The mix of his finger going in and out of you, matching the pressure against your sweet spot, was almost too much. 

“S-Schlatt-” 

“I know, pretty girl, you can do it.” 

“In the 1920s, Nazi Germany transmitted secret messages.” His thumb sped up as he felt you clench around his fingers. “Alan Turing developed a computer machine to help decipher these messages,” your voice became higher pitched and airy as you got closer and closer to your edge. “This led to the development of the Turing Test, which tests a computer’s intelligence by asking it different question, it passes if the response can’t be distinguished from a human.” As you finished, Schlatt whispered in your ear. 

“Let go, pretty girl.” As the words left his mouth, you felt your orgasim flood your veins. You put your hand over your mouth to stop the loud moan that wanted to escape. Schlatt panted lightly as he watched you fall apart. He pumped his fingers in you a few more times as you came back down. Removing his fingers from you, Schlatt popped them into his mouth, cleaning them off.

“How was it?” He asked, and you took a deep breath. 

“Really good,” he smirked. 

“I mean the PowerPoint.” you give him an embarrassed smile. 

“Still the same answer.” You leaned up and kissed him, using your own hand to slide up his thigh. As you reached to touch his, what you could only assume was a painfully hard cock. Your phone alarm went off. 

His head fell back and he let out a frustrated groan. He sat up and kissed you before standing up. You laughed at the tent in his sweatpants and he flushed, pulling his sweatshirt down as much as he could to cover it. He pulled his backpack on and walked out before coming back to kiss you one more time. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, doll.” You bite your lip and nod. You watch him leave before going to pack up your own things. As your still damp thighs meet, you remember. 

That fucker still has my underwear.

#jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt smut #jschlatt #schlatt #schlatt x reader #schlatt smut #That's all folks - I have spoken

[maculategiraffe]

ok now I'm on chapter 11 of gideon the ninth and here's what I am appreciating right now:

the way the very first sentence of the book tells us so much:

IN THE MYRIADIC YEAR OF OUR LORD—the ten thousandth year of the King Undying, the kindly Prince of Death!—Gideon Nav packed her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and she escaped from the House of the Ninth.

and specifically the "dirty magazines" bit. because that tells us SO MUCH.

-just the very phrase "dirty magazines" hints at a world, and artifacts of a world, that doesn't jibe with anything else we learn until gideon and harrow arrive on the first. the very existence of porn mags implies a civilization so far beyond the ninth and its scarcity and darkness and hyperreligiosity and engineered archaism

-it tells us gideon treasures these artifacts as much as her shoes and her sword, which are both about survival. that her sexuality and the possibility of a life beyond the ninth are both core to her identity and her will to live.

-it strongly implies that gideon is a lesbian, which is hugely significant to her eventual interactions with dulcinea and coronabeth, not to even mention everything going on with her and harrowhark. my god I've never seen as textbook a shy flustered butch lesbian jock as gideon being expertly flirted upon by dulcinea and coronabeth in rapid succession. somebody come save her

-(nobody is going to come save her. are they 💀)

-just the dry wit of it. this book is so goddamn funny

-💀💀💀

#psir #books #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb

[liesmyth]

lol. yk what i will. harrow doesn’t deserve the shit she’s gonna face after finally being awake in alecto (not talking about Gideon but everyone else, ex: everyone who loved Nona the way Harrow wasn’t ever loved akakskskaoakjdjs lemme stop haha). anyways she is going to be so confused and even more stressed it’s gonna be hilarious and painful. i have a question—it’s going to be two years in atn after gtn right?

Ok, you know what, I think Harrow DOES have people waiting fondly for her — Palamedes's "You know, I miss Harrow 😢 terribly 🥹" makes it clear that she is the people's little meow meow — but she IS about to wake up to Alecto, her beloved, stabbing a naked God with wine-stained sheets and dried cum on his chest. I think THAT'S going to be the big trauma. There's also the fact where was just in hell for 6 months and presumably didn't have a great time there either, and I think she'll feel some kind of way about Gideon's Reputation Era and the ongoing attack on the Ninth, but I think the sight of the jock (John's cock) might be the biggest trauma of them all.

Also yes, I would say so! Maybe a bit less than that. HtN takes place about 6 months after the end of HtN, and I think there are 14 months between the letter arriving on the Ninth and the night of the Emperor's murder. So a little under two years :)

edit: yes, there's a typo. I meant "NtN takes place six months after HtN." But it's funnier this way, ngl

#Anonymous #ask #alecto bingo card #RIP harrow is going to open her eyes and wish she was still in hell

[love-wing]

Why should you vote for Griddlehark in @theshipwars ?

Griddlehark is the relationship between Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus. They hate each other they love each other they are each other’s only friend

The Locked Tomb books, a sci-fi/fantasy series by Tamsyn Muir, feels like something that emerged from a tumblr incubation vat. Griddlehark was born and bred here on this website

You like women with swords? Gideon has a big ass sword.

How about complicated, well-written, and often morally gray female characters? These two are just that.

Their relationship is so complex I cannot even begin to properly describe it’s arc. Two women who hate each other are forced to rely on each other in trials set by the space emperor against other necromancers to gain immortality. Buts it’s so much more than that.

Describing them in tropes does an injustice to their dynamic but I will try. Goth/Jock. Enemies to lovers. Knight/Princess. Self-sacrifice on both sides. Refusal to accept death. Bodysharing. Shakespearean tragedy of misunderstanding.

They previously managed to beat Destiel in the polls (by a decent margin) on the Destiel website??? I was genuinely shocked.

I’ll just share some quotes from the novels to flesh things out (pun intended):

“Gideon the Ninth, first flower of my House,” she said hoarsely, “you are the greatest cavalier we have ever produced. You are our triumph. The best of all of us. It has been my privilege to be your necromancer.”

“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it.” “Yes you can, it’s just less great and less hot,” said Gideon. “Fuck you, Nav—”

“I’ve lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows I deserve to die at your hand. You are my only friend. I am undone without you.”

“One idiot with a sword and an asymmetrical smile had proved to be Harrow’s end: her apocalypse swifter than the death of the Emperor and the sun with him.”

“I died knowing you'd hate me for dying; but Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention.”

“Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it.”

“You're not waiting for her resurrection; you've made yourself her mausoleum.”

#the locked tomb #griddlehark #tumblr ship wars 2023 #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth

[wifegideonnav]

People trying to shove Harrow into the "femme" category in a series that EXPLICITLY eschews traditional gender roles in a society that has created an entirely new identity dichotomy are so weird. Like Harrow was never "yours" bb. If there was any modern dichotomy that she and Harrow fit into it would be goth/jock.

(To be clear, I'm FOR headcanoning Harrow and Gideon both as literally whatever but especially as GNC/butch and butch4butch especially. I am Very Very Against pretending that Harrow is femme in the text and taking that utterly uncritical absolute misreading of the text to shit on other people's headcanons.)

Also for more discourse butch4femme is not at all heteronormative because butch and femme as gender roles actively defy heteronormative gender roles, but forcing every lesbian relationship to fit into butch4femme dynamics certainly is SOMETHING-normative. I've heard (and experienced it myself), so many people doing the "wait you can be butch4butch?" thing.

Anyway keep having fun playing with Harrow's gender please, I for one am enjoying it immensely

literally go off anon. ive got nothing to add except to say that imo “heteronormative” would be the right term, because it would refer to the worldview of the people with this habit, not the nature of the dynamic itself. that is to say butch/femme couples in real life are not heteronormative, but the people who are saying this shit are not basing it on reality, but rather their homophobic misinterpretation of what they see. but yeah damn everything you said is spot on. imagine reading a book as rich as gideon the ninth and deciding to spend your time in the fandom policing other people’s interpretation of harrow’s appearance. could not be me.

#asks

[hairstevington]

Freaky Friday (Steddie's Version)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Dustin is fed up when his two friends, Eddie and Steve, hate each other for stupid reasons. The universe decides to bring them together by having them switch bodies until they get over themselves. Link to Ao3

Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5

Word Count: 7K, more chapters to come

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, slow(ish??) burn, canon universe (more or less) set before season 4, Dustin gets bullied at the beginning which is a bit sad but it's brief, body swap, angst, revenge, POV switching, Steddie both love Dustin so much, honestly just tons of fun lmao

A/N: A while back I made this post where I had a Steddie AU idea I never really got out of my head and then I started writing it and now I can't stop lmao. FYI this starts in third person Dustin POV but switches to Steve/Eddie midway! Please enjoy, I'll have it up on Ao3 soon probably like I do with everything else :)

Dustin had enough of this shit. 

He had been bummed that Steve graduated from Hawkins high the year before Dustin entered the ninth grade. Having Steve there would have been a buffer for Dustin, who - although he rarely admitted it - actually didn’t like being unpopular. As much as he hated being the victim of bullying, he hated the thought of changing himself even more - which is why he refused to. 

He showed up to his first day of high school in his Weird Al shirt, because he would be damned to give an inaccurate impression of himself. He knew that after graduation, he’d turn out better than all the other assholes at the school anyway. He was smarter than them, he was better than them. He could get through four years of their bullshit until he proved that. 

Although…Having Steve around would have made it a lot easier. 

But, whatever. Steve had graduated. Dustin still called him all the time, and they hung out every so often, but Dustin knew that nineteen year olds didn’t have a lot in common with fourteen year olds, at least not enough to hang out regularly. They were like brothers, more than anything, and they were in a weird spot. 

Thankfully, through some grace of God, Dustin met Eddie. 

It was bound to happen, considering Dustin had wanted to join the Hellfire Club anyway. He’s already informed the rest of the group - Mike and Lucas - so that the three of them could still play DnD together. Lucas had seemed hesitant, but that was to be expected. Things were changing. 

He missed Will. Will would have loved Hellfire, had he not been in California. 

Dustin met Eddie Munson at lunch - his first lunch in high school. The food Hawkins High served was mildly disturbing and likely lacked any nutritional value, so Dustin was grateful that his mother had kept up the tradition of packing him a lunch special for his first day. She even included chocolate pudding, since it was his favorite. 

Mike and Lucas weren’t going to be at lunch on the first day, because Lucas wanted to check out the basketball team, and Mike wanted to see if he could call El - she wasn’t starting school until the following week. This meant that Dustin was alone in the cafeteria, and he wasn’t entirely prepared to face the brutal sting of rejection, so he didn’t want to just pick a random table and try to make friends. He already had friends, they just weren’t there. 

He stopped in his tracks and scanned the room, pondering his next move. There was no way he’d sit with the jocks or the cheerleaders, and the rest of the tables were unrecognizable in terms of what cliques they represented. This was nothing like he’d seen in movies - he didn’t even really know who the popular ones were versus the unpopular ones. 

He must have been standing there for a bit too long, because suddenly he was nudged hard in the shoulder. 

“Move it, loser,” a guy twice his size said. “You’re in everybody’s way.”

“S-sorry,” Dustin apologized. He took a few steps backward, deciding to just start walking and see what happens, but then he bumped into someone else. 

“Jesus, kid,” another voice said. “You’re like a pinball.” 

Dustin looked up to see a tall, rather intimidating man with long, curly brown hair. He was dressed in denim and leather, the Hellfire logo splayed across his chest. He looked way too old to be a high school student, but way too scary to be a faculty member. 

Not scary in a dangerous way - Dustin had experienced enough real danger that most normal things didn’t faze him - but scary in a way where Dustin felt the person standing in front of him had some kind of power in the school. A reputation, at least, whether it be good or bad. 

“Welcome back, Freak,” another random student remarked at him as they walked past. Dustin watched as the enigmatic metalhead flipped the student off with zero hesitation.

Ah, so it was for sure a bad reputation. Noted. 

“So, I’m the school freak,” he said, theatrically bowing as he introduced myself. “Eddie. Eddie Munson. And you are…”

“Dustin Henderson,” he answered without a second thought.

“I was going to say -” Eddie continued, “- you are….wearing a Weird Al shirt. Bold move for your first day, Dustin Henderson.”

“How did you know it was my first day?” Dustin asked, grateful to be having some sort of civil conversation, even if he had no idea where it was going. 

“Just a hunch,” Eddie replied with a shrug. Dustin looked back at Eddie’s shirt. 

“You're in Hellfire?” he asked. Eddie grinned, then pointed at a table where a bunch of people were wearing the same shirts. 

“Hellfire is my pride and joy. We play a game called Dungeons and Dragons, have you heard of it?” Before Dustin could confirm, Eddie kept talking. “Of course you’ve heard of it, look at you. You’re one of us, I know it.” Eddie gestured for Dustin to follow him to the Hellfire table, which he gladly did. 

“Eddie, who’s this?” a member seated at the table asked when they approached. 

“This, Gareth, is Dustin, and he’s sitting with us today.” Eddie pointed at an available seat, then looped around to his own. Dustin noticed a textbook in front of Gareth and chimed in. 

“You’re taking chemistry?” he asked. Gareth nodded. “That’s cool. I love chemistry. I went to this awesome summer camp called Camp Know Where -”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Eddie interrupted. “Did you just say you love chemistry? What kind of kid actually enjoys that shit? Are you a masochist? I failed that class twice.” Eddie’s rambling was entertaining, to say the least. 

“Isn’t Camp Know Where that science program where all the geniuses go?” another person at the table asked.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie exclaimed dramatically. “Okay, Dustin Henderson. I will protect you, since you so desperately need the protection. In return, you will join Hellfire, and occasionally help me with homework because you’re obviously smarter than half the people in this school. Deal?”

“Only half?” Dustin joked - although, it wasn’t really a joke. Dustin knew for a fact he was smarter than at least 75% of the school. “Fine, I accept these terms. Can my friends Mike and Lucas join too?” Eddie rolled his eyes and sighed.

“You’re killing me,” he said. “Yeah, yeah. Bring all the Freshies in, I guess. No one will come near you if you stick with us, but you’ll avoid being stuffed in lockers at least.” That seemed like a good enough deal to Dustin, for now. “Alright, kid. Welcome to Hellfire.”

-

Dustin recounted this entire interaction with Steve the moment he’d gotten home from school. 

“Eugh, Hellfire?” Steve said over the phone, acting disgusted. “That club’s for nerds.”

“Earth to Steve, I am a nerd,” Dustin deadpanned. “And Eddie said -”

“Oh god, not Munson,” Steve groaned. “That guy’s trouble, I swear. Seriously, you should get out of this while you can.”

“And go where?” Dustin retorted, starting to get agitated. “It’s not like I can float through school like you did by joining all the sports teams. I’m gonna be made fun of either way, and you know it.” Steve was silent on the line for a bit, knowing that Dustin was right. 

“I wish I could be there to watch over you, ya know,” he said at last. 

“Yeah, I wish you could too, but I have Eddie at least.”

Eddie. Ugh. Steve hated that guy. He was always doing something weird and dramatic to try to get a reaction from people. 

“Yeah, okay. But I’ll kick his ass if he tries anything, alright?” Dustin laughed. 

“Sure you will, Buddy.” 

-

Mike and Lucas were far more terrified of Eddie than Dustin was. He knew why - Eddie had shown a bit of kindness that first day, but he wasn’t usually like that. Eddie was the kind of guy who loved attention, and he knew the best way for him to get it was through negative attention. He consistently made an ass of himself. 

Dustin enjoyed it. Mike and Lucas didn’t not enjoy it, but they still felt like he was unhinged. Maybe he was. Dustin didn’t think about it that much. 

Him and Eddie had bonded pretty quickly, especially since Dustin would hang around after lunch or club meetings to talk about homework. Eddie had a lot of questions, and he was kind of a horrible student. This was especially evident when Dustin discovered he was a third year senior, which explained why the guy looked so goddamn old. 

“Damn,” Dustin said once he found out. “You’re even older than Steve. Wait - you might know Steve actually. He graduated last year. Steve Harrington?”

Eddie Munson did an actual spit take with his soda. Dustin had only ever seen that in movies.

“No shit,” Eddie responded. “You know that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole,” Dustin replied immediately, quick to defend his friend. “He’s awesome.”

Dustin opened his mouth to continue, but it was hard to explain why Steve was awesome when he had to leave Upside Down stuff out of it. He totally saved us from a bunch of Demodogs, and one time he got tortured for information underground by evil Russians. Dustin considered mentioning the time Steve protected the kids from Billy - that was unrelated to the secret world the group had been privy to - but, considering Hargrove’s death, it felt in bad taste to bring up now.

“So you’re trying to tell me that you’re friends with the guy?” Eddie asked suspiciously. “Why? I mean, why would he be friends with a kid so much younger than him?”

“Why are you?” Dustin retorted. Eddie chuckled. 

“Touche. But I know why I’m friends with a bunch of kids, why is he?”

“It’s complicated,” Dustin replied with a shrug. “But Steve’s pulled through for me a lot. He’s cool. You should give him a chance.”

“Give him a chance? I don’t ever see him. Are you trying to have us all hang out for a slumber party or something?” Dustin shook his head and was about to respond, but Eddie was on a roll (as usual). “Listen, Henderson. You’re cool and all, and I’m glad you joined our little clan here. But you wouldn’t want to hang out with me outside of this hellhole we call school, and I certainly wouldn’t want to hang out with Steve goddamn Harrington.”

There was a definitive finality to his statement that let Dustin know there was no point in arguing. But it did leave him wondering what exactly had happened to cause them to dislike each other so much.

-

Dustin blew through his first few weeks of school like this. He’d visit Steve and mention Eddie, and Steve would complain about how Eddie was a bad influence and would probably get arrested before graduation, if he ever did graduate. Any time Dustin brought up Steve in Hellfire, Eddie would groan and complain about the forced conformity and bullshit societal infrastructure at the high school that separated the good from the bad and blah blah blah. Dustin probably had that speech damn near memorized. Eddie seemed to hate the jocks, and for decent enough reason - the jocks hated him. And Dustin knew that Steve was kind of a dick in high school, but he’d changed now. 

So, yeah. He’d had enough. He just thought that if maybe he could get the two of them in the same room, they’d start to understand why Dustin liked each of them so much. They were both good guys who were protective of him, and he wanted them to get along, dammit!

Steve always went to the basketball games to support Lucas and the rest of the team, which was nice. On nights where the games coincided with Hellfire, Steve would drive Dustin home after. 

On one of these nights, Dustin hatched a bit of a plan. Usually, Hellfire got out before the game was over, so Dustin would meet Steve outside of the gym. This time, Dustin intentionally stayed late to help Eddie clean up and talk his ear off about his upcoming biology report. Eddie seemed to be in decent enough spirits, fresh off another successful campaign, and Steve was in a good mood because he now had a job again with Robin. It gave him money to take women out on dates, which he did often. 

As Dustin chatted with Eddie, there was a pounding on the door. 

“Hey, Dipshit!” Steve called from the other side. “Are you in there? Did Munson kill you or something?” Dustin grimaced as he gaged Eddie’s reaction to the comment, but thankfully Eddie seemed amused more than anything. 

“Sure did,” Eddie shouted back with a grin. “Bite me, Harrington.” Dustin rolled his eyes. 

“I’m fine, Steve!” he yelled. “Come in!” 

“You’re inviting him into my sacred space?” Eddie asked with feigned offense. 

“Your sacred space?” Dustin mocked. “You mean the drama club room? Based on the shit I’ve heard, it’s the least sacred spot on school property.” Eddie was laughing as Steve opened the door and came in. 

“You guys making fun of me?” he asked, his chest puffed out in his silly Steve way. Dustin didn’t find Steve or Eddie that intimidating, because he saw right through their tough guy act. They were both goofballs. 

“Always,” Eddie replied, returning to his cleaning tasks. “So, you’re Dustin’s ride home huh? How’d you guys become friends in the first place?” Steve hesitated, facing the same issue Dustin had when he’d been asked the same thing. Thankfully, he’d had more time to prepare since then. 

“Steve used to date Mike’s sister,” Dustin stated plainly. Steve opened his mouth to object to the sharing of that information, but then Dustin added - “And then I annoyed him into being my friend.” 

“That’s not really -” Steve grimaced, then realized that was the best version of the story either of them could provide. “Yeah, okay. The kid really worms his way into your heart.”

“I know, right?” Eddie replied absentmindedly. Dustin was thrilled to see them agree on something. It was a moment where he hoped they’d realize they could actually get along. “I remember when you dated Nancy Wheeler. I’m surprised it didn’t work out, since you were so perfect for each other.”

Okay, so maybe they wouldn’t get along. The way Eddie had said the word perfect almost seemed like an insult. To Eddie, it was. Dustin noticed Steve tensing and felt the need to mediate. 

“Anyway,” he said, searching for something, anything, to redirect the conversation. He wasn’t sure when he was gonna get them in the same room again, so he couldn’t just leave. “How was the game, Steve?” Eddie rolled his eyes when Steve lit up again. 

“We lost,” he answered. Dustin noticed Eddie hiding a smirk under one of his ringed hands. “It’s a shame they keep Lucas on the bench, although he’s a Freshman so it makes sense I guess. I mean, that’s how it always has been.” 

“You mean to tell me,” Eddie interjected. Oh boy. “- that a high school sports team values a players popularity over their talent?” He scoffed. “Probably why you got so much airtime, right Harrington?”

Oh Jesus Christ this is bad. This is going badly. Steve was clearly offended by that comment, and rightfully so. 

“Eddie, can you just - be nice?” Dustin pleaded. 

“Since when am I nice?” Eddie shot back, picking the last of his papers up and stuffing them in his bag. 

“You’re nice to me,” Dustin pointed out. 

“Yeah, because I like you,” Eddie replied, “-and as I’ve said to you multiple times, I don’t like him.” Eddie gestured vaguely in Steve’s direction. 

“What did I ever even do to you, Munson?” Steve questioned, finally deciding to stand up for himself. “Seriously man, you’re being a dick.” 

“I know what you think of me,” Eddie answered plainly. “I’m just calling it like I see it.” 

“Okay, well this has been sufficiently awkward and horrible,” Dustin sighed, finally giving up. “I was wrong, you two are hopeless. Eddie, Steve’s right. You’re being a dick.” That accusation actually did seem to have an effect on Eddie, even though he tried not to let it show. “Steve, let’s go home.”

On the walk to the car, Steve had already seemed to brush the whole interaction off. 

“I told you that guy’s no good,” he said. “Thanks for defending me, by the way.” 

“I promise he’s not usually like that,” Dustin assured him. But, come to think of it, that kind of was how Eddie usually spoke to people, especially the popular kids. But Dustin was in Hellfire, he was one of them, as Eddie said, and he treated the freaks far differently and with more respect. 

His two cool older guy friends were bound to hate each other, he realized. No getting around it, no point in trying to change it.

_______________________________________

Eddie had gone to Family Video countless times over the years, because what else were people supposed to do in Hawkins, Indiana? It was cheaper and involved less people than going to the movies, and it was something to entertain him while he was home. 

Imagine his surprise when he walked into the store one day and saw none other than Steve Harrington behind the counter. 

The green vest Steve was forced to wear was a lot more masculine than the get-up he’d worn at Scoops Ahoy over the Summer. Eddie had the pleasure of seeing him a few times at the mall in his little short shorts and stupid hat, and it was an image he sorely missed. Seeing King Steve pathetically dressed and striking out with women post-graduation? Delicious. 

He’d only let himself visit once, although he may have done it again had the mall not burned down. But alas, Steve’s sailor outfit days were short-lived, and now he was back to being the same old boring jock he always had been - just now, he didn’t even play sports. 

Eddie may have been in his third go-around of senior year, but at least he wasn’t pretending he was someone he wasn’t. He embraced his freak nature, and had grown comfortable in it. Life hadn’t been kind enough to him to give him the option of the niceties people like Steve took advantage of. 

“Hey, man,” Steve greeted him as he entered the door. He was so nonchalant about it, like he didn’t even care about Eddie’s presence. Eddie didn’t care too much about Steve being there, except he did. There was a fire in Eddie's dislike for Steve that seemed one sided. Steve being almost indifferent made Eddie hate him even more. “Let me know if I can help you find anything.” Eddie ignored Steve’s surprisingly sincere customer service and went directly to the row of movies he always went to. He scanned the selection - it looked about the same as it had the last ten times he’d reviewed it - then picked one of his favorites and brought it to the counter. 

Steve didn’t say anything more than that as he went through the rental process. It was all over in less than two minutes, and Eddie was mildly disappointed in the lack of drama. If Steve wasn’t an asshole, then what? Was Eddie the asshole all along?

Yeah. Yeah, he absolutely was.

He was on his way out when he stopped, then spun on his heels to face Steve at the counter again. 

“Listen, man,” he began. Steve looked up from the pile of VHS tapes he was sorting, seemingly unbothered by any of this. “I’m sorry about, uh - about the other night.”

“Thanks,” Steve responded with a nod. Eddie could never really just leave things alone, though. 

“Dustin was right,” he continued. 

“The little shit usually is.” Steve had returned his gaze to the movies in front of him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled, a bit too forcefully in an attempt to ease the tension. “I’ll see you around, then.”

“See ya,” Steve responded. Eddie pouted, not satisfied with how that went, and he wasn’t sure why. But whatever. He was gonna go home, get high, and watch the movie. A good night was ahead. 

He paused at the door when the phone rang, pretending to get distracted by a cardboard cutout near the window. 

“Family Video,” Steve said on the phone. “Woah, shit. Dustin, calm down. Where are you?” This got Eddie’s attention, and he raced back to the counter. “Okay, I’ll figure something out.” 

“What’s up with Henderson?” Eddie asked, his concern growing. 

“I guess some guys are picking on him. He called from the side of the road on a pay phone near the power plant.”

“Jesus, what did they do to him? Is he okay?”

“He’s great, that’s why he called,” Steve shot back sarcastically. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I don’t know if I can just leave my shift since I just started this job like three days ago. Shit.”

“I’ll go,” Eddie offered. “The plant is right by my place anyway. Don’t sweat it.” Steve eyed Eddie suspiciously, then nodded.

“Okay, I guess. Just - can you call here once you know he’s safe?”

“Sure thing, Harrington.” It was a brief, genuine moment between the two of them, both desperate to protect the tiny child they each adored so much. 

And with that, Eddie bolted out of Family Video, to his van, and towards the plant. 

Dustin had apparently been chased down and recaptured after he called Steve, because Eddie found him tied to a pole a bit further down the street. 

“Eddie!” he yelled once they locked eyes. “Get me out of this shit!” 

Dustin was doing his damndest to break free from the binds, but it was no use. Eddie took his pocket knife out from where he always kept them tucked in his jeans and got to work, successfully freeing the little twerp once he stopped squirming. 

“Who did this? Where are they?” Eddie felt the heat rising in his chest, up his neck, and to his cheeks. “How’d they even get a hold of you? Why are you all the way over here? What -”

“Jesus, Eddie,” Dustin interrupted him. “It doesn’t matter. I just wanna go home.”

Eddie looked Dustin up and down and noticed a bruise forming on his jaw. 

“Come on, my trailer is right there,” Eddie said, pointing in the vague direction of Forest Hills. “Let’s get you cleaned up first.” 

_______________________________________

Steve tried to wait idly by while he entrusted a guy like Eddie to go rescue Dustin. He tried to do the responsible thing for once and stay at his stupid job so he could keep said job. He tried not to think about how Eddie could have been behind this whole thing, for all he knew. Some sick twisted mind game. He tried not to think about any of that. 

He lasted two minutes before he called Robin and begged her to fill in. She accepted after a few minutes of persuasion - after all, Steve didn’t ask her for things very often, and he always drove her around, so she kinda owed him. It took her about fifteen agonizing minutes to get there, and just as she walked in the door, the phone rang. 

“Family video,” he greeted, hoping a familiar voice would be on the other end. 

“Steve, it’s me,” Dustin’s voice called through the phone. “I’m at Eddie’s. I’m okay.”

“Where does he live?” Steve asked, still hellbent on leaving. 

“At the trailer park. You don’t have to -”

Steve dropped the phone and ran out the door, not even bothering to hang it back up on the receiver. He headed to Forest Hills, and was thankfully able to locate Eddie’s trailer pretty quickly due to the beat-up red van parked in front of it. He stumbled out of his own car as soon as it stopped, nearly forgetting to take his keys from the ignition. Maybe it was silly for him to worry about Dustin so much, but after what they’d been through together, Steve had learned to treat everything as life or death. 

The door pushed open from the stress of his knock alone, so he let himself in. 

Eddie’s place was small, messy, and smelled of smoke. But, it was clear the place was a home. Steve’s house was a hundred times bigger and somehow contained less. 

“Dustin?” Steve called as he walked deeper into the living room. “Eddie?”

“Bathroom!” Steve followed the voice down the hall to where Eddie was tending to a bruise forming on Dustin’s jaw. 

“Who did this? Where are they?” Eddie chuckled, and Steve almost lashed out because of it, but then Eddie explained. 

“That’s exactly what I said when I found him, Harrington.” Steve took note of the care that Eddie was actually putting into his first aid. It was surprisingly gentle. “Good luck getting him to rat the bastards out.”

“I told you, it doesn’t matter,” Dustin groaned. 

“Whoever it was, we can take ‘em,” Steve insisted. He noticed Eddie smirk at the inclusion of them both taking the bullies down.

“You idiots!” Dustin snapped, standing up from where he was sitting on the lip of the bathtub. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to ‘take ‘em.’ It was embarrassing enough to have them pick on me, I don’t need you guys to go down there and humiliate me even more.”

“We’re just trying to protect you, man,” Eddie replied. 

“I don’t need protection!” Dustin shouted, causing Eddie and Steve to back up. “My bike isn’t far. I’m going home. Eddie, thanks for cutting me down. Steve, thanks for leaving work when I asked you to. You’re both really good friends, and I appreciate it. I just want to go home.” 

It broke Steve’s heart to know that Dustin was getting picked on. He just wanted to help, but he understood the whole pride thing. Steve had fought many uphill battles in the past in the name of saving face. Ironically, his face was usually what took the brunt of the consequences. 

“You sure you’re gonna be -” Eddie began to ask the question before Steve was able to, but stopped himself when Dustin shot a glare at them both. “Right, okay. Can you just call when you get home okay?”

“Me too,” Steve added. 

“Okay, mom and dad,” Dustin replied, rolling his eyes. “Or, Steve could stay here ten minutes and then I’d only have to make one call. Unless you guys will murder each other by then.”

“Jury’s out,” Eddie muttered. Steve felt like it was a joke, but also Eddie gave off psycho killer vibes, so anything was possible. “Sure, Harrington. You can stay here until he gets home.”

Steve wanted to think of a witty comeback, but his head was empty. He could stay, and then he figured he should get back to work. 

“Fine,” he agreed. “But the moment you walk through your door, got it?”

“Yes, dad,” Dustin deadpanned. 

“I thought I was dad,” Eddie cut in. 

“You think I’m mom?” 

“Ten minutes, no murders,” Dustin reminded them before heading out the door. There was a beat of silence before Steve and Eddie turned to each other once again. 

“So, we’re definitely gonna go to that plant and kick some ass, right?” Eddie asked, his tone completely devoid of its usual teasing. Steve smirked. 

“Finally, we’re on the same page,” he replied. 

Ten minutes later, Dustin called as promised. Seconds after the call disconnected, Steve and Eddie made a beeline for the front door. 

-

It was getting dark, even though it was a bit too early for the sun to set. Clouds were forming in the sky, a bleak omen of the impending storm that neither Eddie nor Steve had prepared for. 

They walked to the plant in silence, because what was there to be said? They were going to tolerate each other to defeat the common enemy. 

A group of misfits were in fact still camped out under one of the towers. They were all smoking and laughing and spouting nonsensical vitriol about the student body - kids like Dustin, as well as the women of the school. If Eddie and Steve weren’t heated already, the few comments they’d overheard sent them over the edge. 

“Hey!” Steve shouted, cutting one of the guys off. Five pairs of eyes flickered over to the pair, who’d realized once they were in the situation that they were vastly outnumbered. 

“Steve Harrington?” One of the boys questioned. “What are you doing over here?”

“And with Munson?” Another added. “I never thought I’d see the two of you together.”

“Neither did I,” Steve and Eddie said in unison. They glanced at each other, awkwardly acknowledging that they’d said the same thing at the same time, then hastily moved on. 

“Is this about the boy?” The leader of the group was probably a Junior, and shorter than both Eddie and Steve, but he had enough audacity to make up for it. 

“Found him tied to a pole,” Eddie reminded them through gritted teeth. This was news to Steve, who’s blood boiled at the thought. A few years prior, Tommy and Carol used to do shit like that. Maybe not to that extent, but it was all the same. 

“Why do you care so much about that dumbass anyway?” The leader (was his name Chad?) asked. 

“He’s totally harmless,” Steve said.

“Us on the other hand…” Eddie interjected. 

“Oh yeah,” Steve agreed. “I’ve been known to throw a punch, and Eddie over here  is actually insane, I’m pretty sure.”

“Aw, thanks man,” Eddie grinned devilishly, smacking Steve on the back. “Our point being, you stay away from Henderson and we won’t break anything, okay?”

Thunder cracked in the distance, followed by a flash of lightning. 

“Yeah, okay,” Chad mocked. “We’re not scared of you.” Eddie and Steve looked at each other, shrugged, then both trudged forward. Eddie took Chad while Steve went for the one who appeared to be second in command. They each pushed them against the metal pillars, gripping them by the collar of their shirts, and drawing their other hand back into a fist. 

“How about now?” Eddie asked with darkness in his eyes. 

“Let’s get out of here,” one of the others in the group said, and within moments the other three bullies scampered away into the night. 

“Some loyal friends you got there,” Eddie teased. Steve was getting agitated at how many stupid quips Eddie had. Was he supposed to be all quippy too? Was that the secret to winning one of these goddamn things?

Thunder rumbled again, this time much louder than before. Rain started to fall hard against their skin, distracting them enough for the two pathetic bullies to slip from their gasps and follow their friends out of sight. 

“Shit,” Steve groaned, realizing that they’d just made a fool of themselves. “Not only did we not hurt them, but they’re definitely going to tell people about it, and then -”

“Is that seriously what you’re worried about right now?” Eddie interrupted, the rage in him still burning. “Your reputation? Claaassic Steve Harrington, always thinking about himself.”

“That’s not what I was saying, asshole,” Steve responded. “Dustin’s going to find out, and then -”

“So what if he does?” Eddie asked. Steve was sick and tired of being interrupted. “If they mess with him again, then -”

“Could you let me finish a goddamn sentence? Holy shit,” Steve exclaimed, thoroughly irritated. The rain was falling steadily now, the drops heavy as they hit him. His hair was already starting to feel weighed down to his scalp. Perfect. Just perfect. “Dustin told us not to do anything, and then we did, okay? So what do you think that little shrimp’s gonna do when he finds out, huh?”

“He’ll handle it, Harrington,” Eddie shot back. “He’s a big boy.”

“Oh, come on!” Steve groaned. “Don’t give me that bullshit when ten minutes ago you dropped everything to rescue him like he was some lost puppy.”

“Because he was tied to a pole!” Eddie responded. 

“That would have been helpful to know before we headed out here, by the way.” Steve put his hands on his hips and planted his feet in the mud. It was way too late to worry about his appearance, now. 

“Oh, Jesus H. Christ,” Eddie sighed, taking a step towards Steve. “You’re just as awful as I thought you were.”

“Oh, really?” Steve said, taking another step forward to meet Eddie. “Back atcha.”

“Fuck off.”

“Fuck off.”

There was another loud crack of thunder as both of them shoved the other at the same time, causing them both to stumble backwards until they each hit one of the metal pillars extending down from the plant. 

A flash of light. A quick, searing pain. Then, they each dropped to their knees and fell into the mud. 

-

It felt like a sudden hangover, and a bad one. Eddie opened his eyes and cringed at the feeling of mud under his fingernails and up his arms. 

For a moment, he’d forgotten how he ended up on the ground. It felt like he was somewhere different, and he wasn’t sure why. He sat up, extremely disoriented, and then focused on a similar crumpled heap across from him. It took a second for Eddie to make out Steve’s features in the dark, but then his head angled upwards, their eyes met, and everything got a whole lot more complicated. 

“Steve…” Eddie began, speaking slowly. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Why the hell do you look like me, man?”

The man across from him had the same features Eddie had come to know in his own reflection - the same style, same hair, same everything, but no - that didn’t make any sense. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” the man replied. The man, who answered to Steve, but couldn’t possibly be. No, Eddie was dreaming. He’d done some hallucinogenic and forgot and now he was tripping. That had to be the case. 

They both stood up, mirroring each other, and for a moment Eddie thought that maybe that’s all this was. Some trick of the light. Maybe, there was a mirror at the power plant for some reason, and he was just staring at himself. Sure, the other guy responded to him, but he couldn’t think about that.

He waved at himself, but the guy across from him didn’t wave back. There went the mirror theory. 

It was still raining, but it had lightened up quite a bit. The two men took a few tentative steps towards each other, their eyes adjusting. 

“So, this is…I mean, we are…” Eddie fumbled over words that didn’t make sense. 

“What kind of weird cult shit did you do to me?” Steve accused, his voice rising. “Did you drug me? Sacrifice me to the devil or something?”

“Dude, are you fucking serious right now?” Eddie groaned, throwing his head back. “I didn’t do shit.”

“Then what happened?” Steve snapped. “How did we - Like, you’re seeing this too, right?”

“Yeah, I’m seeing it.” Eddie finally took a moment to look down, noticing a vastly different wardrobe than the one he remembered putting on. 

Including a green vest. 

“Holy shit,” Steve said. It was weird hearing his voice with Steve’s words. 

The idea of saying it out loud - dude, we switched bodies - seemed too batshit insane to consider. So, naturally, Eddie did what he knew best. 

“No. Nope. Not happening.” he shook his head and took off towards his trailer. 

“Hey. Hey!” Eddie’s own voice echoed behind him, followed by footsteps that got louder and louder as Eddie desperately tried to get away. He didn’t even look back until he was safely in his trailer again, the feeling of home making him feel slightly more at ease. “Dude, we gotta figure this out.” Steve followed him in, of course. 

“Why? Why do we have to? Why can’t I just shower and go to sleep and hopefully wake up from this nightmare?”

“Because I don’t think we’re gonna wake up,” Steve said with a shrug. “And because if you shower right now you’re gonna see my dick, and so I think we should, like, talk first.” Eddie barked out a bitter laugh.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Harrington. Would you feel better if I bought you dinner first?” He continued to walk down the hall to his bathroom, where first aid supplies were still strewn about, and that’s when he caught himself in the mirror.

Sure enough, Steve Harrington stared back at him. He looked a little worse for wear with his hair wet and disheveled and streaks of mud on his face, but no amount of dirt could change the pretty boy Steve was and always would be. He nearly spat at the image. Eddie’s familiar figure joined him in the bathroom, where they stood shoulder to shoulder and stared at themselves for an absurd amount of time. It was the closest they’d ever been to each other for more than a few fleeting seconds, but they were too stunned to do anything about their proximity. 

“Okay, so…” Steve said, watching Eddie’s mouth move as he said it.

“I’m you,” Eddie responded, finishing the thought. 

“And I’m you,” Steve finished. Their eyes stayed focused on their reflections for a while longer. How long exactly, it was tough to say. 

“So, what the fuck do we do now, then?” Eddie asked, finally breaking his gaze to look at Steve - er, himself, he guessed. 

What did they do now? That was certainly the question. 

____________________________

Steve had gotten used to weird shit happening to him, but this was a whole new world of weird. 

“I guess…” Steve searched for a plan, but he had no semblance of one. His head was completely empty. Probably because I’m using Eddie’s head, he thought to himself. “I should call Robin and tell her I’m not coming back to work.”

“You mean I should call Robin, since I am you now apparently.” Steve scoffed.

“You’re not me, alright? You just look like me, for some reason,” he argued. “Maybe we should call Dustin.”

“Yeah, because he’s soooo happy with us right now,” Eddie responded. “What do we say when he asks us what happened? We did the thing he told us not to do, and now we’re facing the consequences.”

“Consequences?” Steve repeated. “No, no. On any other day, in any other town, we would have done what we did and nothing would have happened. This isn’t a consequence, this is just my goddamn luck.”

“You’re acting like this is just any regular day for you,” Eddie complained. “Do you body swap with your enemies often?” Steve shot him a glare. The actual answer of, no but I’ve had a bunch of other weird shit happen, was on the tip of his tongue. If only Eddie knew what was really going on in Hawkins. Steve thought Eddie probably had his head up his own ass too much to notice, anyway. “Fine. I’ll call Robin.”

“Don’t say anything I wouldn’t, okay?” Steve warned, suddenly terrified at the power Eddie had to do some damage if he wanted to. 

“Don’t worry, I know exactly what to say.” Eddie went to his phone and dialed the number to the video store. “Hi, Robin. It’s me, your coworker, Steeeeve Harrington.” 

Great start. Jesus. 

“Dude,” Steve whined, nudging Eddie’s shoulder. “I don’t sound like that.”

“Yeah, I’m still at Eddie’s,” he continued on the phone. “Dustin’s okay. Can you finish my shift?” Huh. After the playfully performative introduction, Eddie seemed to actually act normal on the phone. “Great, thanks a bunch.” Just when Steve thought they were in the clear, Eddie tagged on a final line. “See ya later, Sweetheart,” followed by a bunch of kissing noises. 

Steve wrestled the phone from ‘Steve’ and slammed it against the receiver. 

“What the hell was that?”

“That -” Eddie said with a grin, “- was fun.” Steve’s eyes narrowed as anger began coursing through his veins. Anger, mixed with fear. Fear of this guy he hated, who now had full control of his life. 

“If you mess with my life, Munson, I swear to god -”

“What?” Eddie cut him off, barely fazed. “What are you gonna do? Get me back? Harrington, I’ve got nothing to lose. I’m already the school freak, nobody gives a shit what I do.” 

He had a fair point. Steve scrambled to think of a way, any way, he could get under Eddie’s skin the way Eddie was under his. 

“You have Hellfire,” he blurted out. Steve knew from Dustin just how much Eddie loved that stupid club. Based on Eddie’s reaction, Steve had made the right call. “I could tank it,” he continued. “Give up your title as dungeon manager or whatever.”

“Dungeon Master,” Eddie corrected him through gritted teeth. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would,” Steve insisted. “If you mess with me, I’ll mess right back.”

They stared at each other, knowing that each of them were serious. 

“Fine,” Eddie agreed. “I will play nice.” He stuck his hand out in front of him for Steve to shake. Steve hesitantly did so, not sure if he believed a word out of Eddie’s mouth. 

He was right to be mistrusting. Eddie had the fingers of his other hand crossed behind his back.

_____________________________________

#st fanfic #writing #steddie #steddie fanfic #dustin henderson #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve and eddie #eddie munson x steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie x steve #freaky Friday Steddie’s version

[noxcorvorum]

Something I find fun about The Locked Tomb series is that there's 2 different characters named Gideon, specifically Gideon the First and Gideon the Ninth, though Gideon the First was originally Gideon the Second. They aren't related but Gideon the Ninth is technically named after Gideon the First. Also First is a saint and Ninth is technically Jesus??? She was also raised in a hole on Pluto. She's a jock and a lesbian too btw. Also a tiny lesbian nun necromancer threatened to put bone marrow in Ninth's soup and punch her way out of her guts, and then (temporarily) killed First by putting her bone marrow in soup and then exploding him from the inside after he ate it. Said lesbian nun also got a lobotomy from her sketchy friend(??) because she couldn't deal with the fact that Ninth sacrificed herself for her. Also one of the Gideons repeatedly tried to kill the nun after she also became a saint, and it wasn't the one she grew up with and mutually despised for the first 18ish years of their lives.

#i love gideon and harrow #also pyrrha and cam and pal and a bunch of the others #these books are wild #gideon the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the first #i havent finished nona yet i need to do that

[willow-j]

Each locked tomb book is told from the point of view of the character least interested in and least able to affect the plot. GtN is Harrow's book, and we're told the story of achieving necromantic divinity by a himbo jock who hates her almost as much as she wants to kiss her. Same for HtN, but in reverse.

I didn't realize it until i was about halfway through Nona, and it occurred to me that it's kinda strange to tell a political intrigue story through the eyes of a 6 month old. Then i went back and thought, wait, Muir's been pulling this shit the whole time.

All of this to say, we're going to get Alecto the Ninth told from the pov of Noodle the dog. It will be my favorite book of the year.

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 2 and 3 of Gideon the Ninth:

Harrow: 2

Gideon: 0

Are we supposed to be rooting for Harrow? I am rooting for Harrow. No shade to Gideon, she is easy to empathize with and morally in the right, and much funnier, but watching Gideon successfully run away to be in the military sounds hella boring while watching Harrow outsmart Gideon in the most dramatic way possible is Quality Entertainment

Like, she knew Gideon was escaping a week ahead of time. She could have put a stop to it with absolutely minimal drama, but instead she waited until the last day and spent all night burying bones so that she could stop it with a cool necromancy thing instead. And even then, she didn't have to do the whole thing of making Gideon an offer she couldn't refuse, and then being like "fight me bitch", she could have literally just showed up and necromanced all of the skeletons to beat up Gideon without actually making a show of it, but instead she played out this whole drama just to fuck with Gideon

This is some Homestuck-style epic black romance shit right here

I just want to call this out:

Dude, this is after you spent the whole night burying bones just so you could own Gideon

Also, paper is apparently extremely valuable? Is it just because Pluto isn't a great place to grow trees, or is there some other reason?

Also, Harrow wearing an actual human ribcage as some sort of ornamentation is just... we are really cranking up the necromancy aesthetic, aren't we?

On the subject of the actual plot, this seems to be the timeline:

16 years ago: 198 children and I gather also a lot of the non-imprisoned population of Pluto go missing, or die, or something, for some reason

7 years ago: Harrow's parents kill themselves, are found by Gideon, and Harrow reanimates them weekend-at-Bernie's style

and it's the latter and not the former that is the Dreadful Secret that Harrow doesn't want Gideon to tell anyone about. In an ordinary feudalism context, since Harrow is the heir, there'd be no real issue with 10-year-old Harrow taking over after the deaths of her parents, modulo a regency. But it seems like the people who would have been in a position to be the regent went along with Harrow's plan and helped her cover it up, so there must have been some other reason why this would be Bad for Harrow (or just Bad for everyone?) if someone found out about it, but so far there's been very little information on how shit works in this system, so I can't really guess what that might have been. And I still want to know what happened 16 years ago

(I don't know why I didn't expect some Weekend at Bernie's shenanigans, given that this book combines necromancy and Space Feudalism, that just seems like the natural intersection of those two ideas, really. Even the Golden Key did that, and that book wasn't even about necromancy.)

I'm also not sure why all of the other people in the Ninth House think Harrow's news is great? It doesn't seem like it really affects anyone except Harrow, Ortus, and his mom, unless they all also just really hate Harrow, but I don't get the feeling that that is the case. I wish Gideon would like, stop being a dumb jock for five minutes and devote some narrative to telling me what the actual political significance of all of these events are

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth