#and the ‘that’s how it works. you’ll be lonely blah blah blah’ comments.

[aaaroace]

aphobia is so funny to me. like. you’re mad just bc i refuse to have some bitches and just wanna do my thing?

#it’s so incomprehensible to me #and the ‘that’s how it works. you’ll be lonely blah blah blah’ comments. #how abt u shut up #i could’ve had written something coherent and actually serious but I’m too tired to think abt aphobes rn #aromantic #aroace #aro #asexual #ace #aspec #aroace memes #aphobia

[readyplayerhobi]

Strawberry Lemonade

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 2.5k

; Synopsis: After a stressful day, you come home to Hoseok to see whether your life will change for the better.

; A/N: Surprise! I consider this the fluffiest of all the drabbles...please let me know what you think with a comment or ask!

Peppermint 01

-

The apartment is quiet when you get home from work, no sound effects coming from your boyfriend’s mouth as he plays one of his favourite video games nor any beautiful singing as he works in the peace and tranquility of home. You’d almost think he wasn’t there, except for the fact that you know he’s been working from home all day to ensure that he doesn’t get distracted with any incessant questions at the office.

It had been lonely without him, even though you can’t actually see him when you work. His desk is on the other side of yours after all, his monitor backing up to your own and the only way you can spy his pretty face is by leaning around the side. He normally always has a bright smile for you when he spots you, lips curving into that familiar heart shape that still makes your own heart kick after three years together.

Even on the days when you had a fight before entering work, it would still soothe your anger to see him there with the concentrated frown behind those familiar circular glasses. Not that you argued often with him. In fact, it was about as rare as Hoseok getting angry, which was almost never.

The man had endless amounts of patience, which you had come to love and admire over the years. Shy, awkward and jumpy though he may be, he was nevertheless a rock of support that you could rely on happily for comfort and support through rough times.

Your lighthouse in the storm.

Today, you’d really wanted the safety of his arms and his soft words of reassurance to allay your fears and soothe the worries that had flitted through your thoughts the whole day. Because something had been irritating you in the back of your mind for a while now, wondering if perhaps you were imagining things or if it was actually serious.

But today, you’d finally decided that you were going to find out once and for all. Hoseok could help with the psychological side of things for you, but only you could truly resolve the issue. You just hoped that he’d be agreeable to it, which was why you were hoping to hear him when entering the apartment.

It had once been solely his, but now was home to the both of you. The living room remained near enough the same as before with only a few minor changes by you. A few more pictures of you both dotted around the room, some new curtains and new cushions being the main extent of the differences.

Otherwise, it was still a shrine to popular culture spreading over all different mediums. Still very much Jung Hoseok in a room.

When you first moved in, he’d been pretty agreeable when you’d made changes to the bathroom and inserted your things into his life permanently. He’d been a little wary with the bedroom, but had accepted the changes with only small amounts of whining and complaining.

But you’d quickly discovered that the living room was a no go area for change, at least at first. Suggestions of removing figures or certain posters to make way for something else sent him into a visible state of defence and borderline panic, leading to you abandoning it for his comfort.

This had been his home since he was 22 after all, 10 years by that point. It was his safe area, the place where he wasn’t judged by people or expected to respond to social cues in an acceptable manner. It was the place where he had happily surrounded himself with all the things he loved, a place that calmed and comforted him.

You were one of those things, and so he was happy to include you in it. But shifting other things around had evidently not been in his immediate plan and you were loathe to do something that distressed him. So you’d backed off and over the last two years, Hoseok had become slowly amenable to adjustments that reflected the two of you.

His safe space was no longer solitary, and you were beyond pleased when he began to make changes himself. He’d spent so long building walls around himself that it took him awhile to find his way through them and invite you inside. But you were there now, cosy with him.

“Hoseok?” You call out, voice loud in the silence. Frowning, you wonder where he could’ve gone. He had been online on Skype when you’d left, and you knew that Hoseok had a tendency to accidentally overwork if left to his own devices. It wasn’t really work to him as much as a hobby he just got paid for. He loved his video editing that much.

Moving over to the tiny office that had been set up in a corner of the kitchen, it had originally been in his bedroom but he’d moved it when you moved in, you note the MacBook laid on the surface with the screen open. It’s on, so you know he’s here somewhere.

Quiet he may be, he’s still far too big to be playing hide and seek.

“Hos-” You’re cut off when the door to the bathroom opens and your boyfriend walks out, almost walking straight into you from where you’d been stood in front of it. Immediately he jumps backwards, a shriek leaving his mouth that was a weird combination of adult male and little girl. 

For a moment, he does nothing but stand there with wide eyes and a hand pressed to his chest as he calms his obviously racing heart. The bright pink headphones covering his ears let you know why he hadn’t heard you and you can’t help but wrinkle your nose as you gently push them till they slide down his neck.

“Ew, you wore those to the bathroom?” You question, causing him to roll his eyes as he moves past you into the kitchen.

“It’s not like I peed on them. I didn’t even touch them. Why are you home so early?” He asks, sitting down at the small desk and tapping on the keyboard quickly. Biting your lip, you move one of the chairs to sit next to him before suddenly letting your head flop onto his shoulder.

“I asked to come home early. I don’t feel well. All sick and blah.” Hoseok shifts, trying to twist his head until he can look at you. He has such pretty eyes, soft and friendly looking. His hand comes up to rest on your forehead.

“You don’t feel hot. Do you want to lay down? I can bring you something later if you want? Toast? Soup? Flat Coke?” Snorting, you just cuddle closer into him and wrap your arms around his bicep tightly.

“That’s an old wives tale. It doesn’t work. Besides, we don’t have any. You drank the last the other night. No, it’s not that,” Hoseok goes to argue, his mouth opening but you beat him to it. “I think I’m pregnant.”

No sound leaves him, despite the fact his mouth works for a few moments while he stares blankly ahead. You can practically hear the cogs working in his head, putting together what you’ve just said and you have no doubt that he’s working through denial right now. He’ll probably verbalise it in a moment, pointing out that you’re on birth control and he uses condoms. Except that one time last year when you’d both gotten a little too drunk at one of the work nights out.

That had been interesting, discovering a new kink for both of you. Not one that you’d entertain again for the near future. Although maybe now…

But your wonderful boyfriend has never been like other men, and he proves it right then and there. “Do you want me to go buy a pregnancy test? Or five? How many are you supposed to take?”

“What...no asking me if I’m sure?” You tease lightly, despite the roiling of your stomach as you lean back to look at him. His face is markedly pale right now against his black hair, not the usual golden tan that it normally is and his cheeks are flushed rose but his expression is sincere and determined.

“You know your body. If that’s what you think, then that’s what you think. Just...have to prove it I guess. Or disprove it.” You can hear the concern and worry in his voice, but whether that’s for you or the potential future child you’ll both have, you don’t know. Instead, you just wrap your arms around him tightly.

“I love you. You know that? I bought three. Just in case, you know. Three’s a charm. I’ll go...do them I guess?” He watches you carefully, nutmeg brown eyes scanning over your face before they look at your bag by your feet.

“Do you need help?” Chuckling, you shake your head as you retrieve the three boxes and head over to the bathroom.

“Not unless you want to pee on them. And I think we’re definitely getting a negative from that. I’ll be back out in a minute.” Hoseok stands to follow, the last image you see of him as the bathroom door closes is one of a man trying to look positive for you but with confusion written all over his body.

The process is simple enough and you don’t even bother to read the instructions properly, simply uncapping and peeing on each stick in sequence. Washing your hands and heading back out, you carefully lay them on some tissue paper on the kitchen table while Hoseok watches them with wide eyes.

He sits down next to you at the table, an arm wrapping around your shoulders to bring you closer to him before he presses a gentle kiss to your temple. “We’ll be okay. Are you okay?”

The question is soft and you smile at him, nodding. You’re surprisingly calm about this whole thing to say that you’ve spent the whole day feeling ill about the prospect of being pregnant.

Neither of you really speak for the next few minutes, the silence tense and almost awkward until finally you both look at the tests laid out in front of you. Each one is pretty easy to understand, and the three tiny plus symbols make it clear what the result is.

“Holy fuck. We’re having a baby.” Hoseok states bluntly, sitting back in the chair with almost comically wide eyes. Chewing on your lips, you rest a hand on his denim clothed thigh before realising that you’re already resting a hand on your stomach.

Your child is in there, a tiny bunch of cells that are made up from Hoseok and you. Both of your DNA coming together to create a little human being.

You expect a bit more panic from Hoseok, a little more wild hair as he runs his hands through it and a little more pacing frantically as he tries to get his head around it. Hoseok doesn’t particularly like change, and a baby is the biggest change anyone can make.

He doesn’t like mess or chaos, and a child is the biggest creator of mess and chaos. His beloved living room will never look the same. What if it’s too much for him?

“What do you want to do?” Is all he says though, turning to face you with a carefully blank face. There’s no sign of panic or turmoil on his expression, just determination and love for you. It almost makes you want to cry, and you do end up pressing your hand to your mouth.

“Do you...I mean do you want a baby? I know that we’ve talked about it before but you’ve always made out that you want a baby after you got married. And we’re not married. And a baby will cause so much mess for you and it’s a lot of noise and stress and-” He cuts you off with a kiss to the forehead before looking at you sternly.

“What do you want to do? You’re the one carrying the baby. I don’t need to be married, ignore that. I’m terrified, yes. I think I’ll be a terrible dad honestly. The idea of all that mess is horrific, but I’ve always known I want children with you one day. It just came early. But it’s your decision. I swear I’ll support you.” You don’t mean to, but tears start to fall at that as your heart swells with pure emotion from him.

Everyone always thinks of Jung Hoseok as cold and awkward. A high opinion of himself when in reality he’s just shy and quiet, forever unwilling to raise his voice. He doesn’t comfort with his words but with his actions, and he loves so strongly. And yet he’s never said anything more wonderful than what he said just then.

That he’s here, and he will be here no matter what you choose. That even though he’s scared, he’s willing to go with whatever you want because he knows you’re just as scared. Maybe even more so, as it’s your body that will change over the next few months and it’s you who will go through the trials of labour.

“Are you sure? If we keep it? I mean...we’ll need somewhere new and to buy things and get things ready. It’ll be so much mess, so much. And-” Hoseok shakes his head with a trembling smile.

“Don’t. Don’t think like that. We’ll just get on with it, like every other parent. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. I swear. Do you want to keep it then?” You’re nodding before you even realise, salty tears falling down your face to land on your lips where you taste them when your tongue darts out.

Hoseok tastes them too when he kisses you, his hands cupping your cheeks gently before his thumbs wipe away the trails. “I love you. I’m not even being cheesy when I said that I never imagined myself having babies with anyone other than you.”

“You’re going to be a daddy. And you’re going to be a great daddy, no more bad mouthing yourself.” He laughs, breath ghosting against your lips as he nods, his nose brushing against yours.

“You’re going to be a mommy. Ahh, you’re going to be such a good mommy. Now we can be a super family at conventions!” Hoseok’s arm wraps around you and pulls you tight to him, the position awkward on two chairs yet neither of you cares too much. You care even less when he rests the flat of his palm against your stomach hesitantly.

“They’re going to lose their minds at work, you know that right? Jimin may literally die of shock and Taehyung may just pass out from excitement. You know he loves kids.” You state quietly, smiling into Hoseok’s neck as he laughs and nods.

“I can’t wait. Is that mean of me?”

“No, it’s perfect.”

#armiesnet #networkbangtan #btscreatorsnet #btssunshineclub #hoseok fluff #j hope fluff #hobi fluff #bts fluff #peppermint hoseok #hoseok drabble #j hope drabble #bts drabble #hobi drabble #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader

[kunderdogs]

KNK / Back From Tour

I’m an idiot and posted it to my main blog so here it is again!

Shoutout to @randomkpopfiction for requesting this! “thank you so much for writing for our under appreciated kings knk 😘 - sooo... can i request a knk reaction to seeing their s/o after a few weeks/months apart? 🥰 thank you xx”

I thought this was super cute so I went completely overboard. This is 3k+ words...whoops lol.

Major fluff with a dash of smut-ish?

Background: KNK went on a 1 month U.S. tour and come back home to their s/o (you). These are basically mini scenarios and, once again, i am not sorry.

Jihun: Our cute leader loves tinkerbells but he misses his s/o more than he can put in words. These five weeks were dragging for him, whenever he could, he would call and text but the time difference made it really difficult to communicate so you both relied on sending pictures through out the day of what you were doing (or not doing - lazy couch days were common when Jihun wasn't around to occupy you). He had a countdown app set up and will update you when he's feeling really lonely so when you convinced your boss that you had to take a personal day the day he flew back home, you decided to surprise him. Going to the airport was risky, and you couldn't risk the fans see you and him so you decided to surprise him at the dorms and sent him a simple text: "Once I get off work, I'll head over to the dorm and welcome you back, babe."

Once there, you went to his room, taking your shoes as to leave no evidence behind. It wasn't long til they arrived, the tell-tale sound of Heejun exclaiming that he had missed their humble apartment nearly scaring the life out of you. You jumped from the bed and hid behind the door with the biggest smile on your face. It felt like an eternity before the door creaked open followed by those familiar footsteps walking in.

Before he could close the door, you popped out, hands grasping the sleeve of his hoodie while screaming, "Boo!"

Jihun screamed the highest pitch you'd ever heard him make and (you guessed it) would fall on the floor in the utmost dramatic fashion, clutching his heart, brown eyes wide before he realizes it's you, laughing hysterically next to him on the floor.

"Wah...So this is how you greet the love of your life when he gets back from tour?" His smile is nearly taking up his whole face, even if his heart rate was still triple the normal speed. "No kiss, no 'I missed you so much', just scaring the life from my body..."

Composing yourself, you can't keep the wide grin from your lips as you turned to face Jihun before tackling him in a hug, attacking his face with your lips. "I missed you very much, baby," you whisper between your kisses.

Eyes closed, large hands wrapped around your back in a bone crushing hug, Jihun let you love on him for as long as you wanted. His heart felt like it would burst with all this affection so he didn't say much, other than hum approvingly when your lips drifted down towards his neck.

Until Inseong barged in asking if y'all were hungry, only to see you two wrapped up in each other on the ground and looking disheveled.

"Aish...Why don't you ever knock?"

Over the next few hours, Jihun doesn't let you go more than two feet from him. He's clinging to you like glue and wants to hold you all night if you let him. You'll catch him staring at you with a small smile and when you ask him why, he'll say it's because he missed seeing such a beautiful presence in his life. Incredibly touchy (not really in a dirty way) but he really missed feeling your body against his so he wants to make up for the missed cuddle sessions.

Seoham: Once his flight landed, he was on the phone dialing your number to tell you that they've made it safely. It was 2am, and even though you tried to wait up for him, you ended crashing on your couch. He could hear the sleep in your voice and told you he'd come by tomorrow to see you. That woke you up just a bit so you quickly reassure him and tell him you'll be by the dorm in an hour. He's tried to convince you to stay home, but you were dying to see him, your sleep be damned! He managed to keep you in your house by promising to sleep over your house tonight. With the help of the boys, he convinced his management to let him sleep at your house despite the late hour and caught a cab to your apartment.

Around an hour later, he was pushing the door open and dragging his suitcase behind him, exhaustion and jet lag finally catching up to him. Hearing him enter from the kitchen, you stumbled from around the corner and made a run to the door. You threw yourself into his arms like a koala, thankful that he had a quick reaction and caught your thighs that locked around his waist.

"Welcome home," you said in his neck once you got past the happy tears. Hands tight on you, Seoham walked you both back to your room and didn't loosen his grip on you until his back fell onto the bed with your weight pressed on top of him.

He wouldn't give you much time to speak since his lips would be all over your face, mumbling how much he missed you and that next time he was definitely going to bring you along with him. You were so content just being in his arms that you almost missed the few tears that escaped his eyes until one landed on your cheek.

"Oh no, Seoham...you okay?" You asked, worried that there was something that happened to make him react like this.

Seoham shook his head as his arms closed around your waist tightly so he could snuggle into you closer. "I just...am really happy to see you. It felt like I was gone for a year."

You laughed into his chest. "It really did feel long. Our home felt so empty without you."

This was the first time you had referred to your house as his home too so there was no way he could control the butterflies in his stomach or the blush that set his face on fire. "Our home...I really like the sound of that."

Dongwon: Not a touchy person by nature, Dongwon would be the complete opposite when he gets back from a long stay away from his s/o. On tour he had been constantly calling you and you two would have at least two to three hours of talking before he had to force him to sleep to be able to keep up with the boys tomorrow. The other members would tease the hell out of him since his head was permanently buried in his phone so he could keep contact with you for as long as possible. Honestly he wouldn't care, and take all the comments with a smile. After a particularly hot *coughyounaughtykidscough* facetime call the week before his flight back home, Dongwon would be a little more wound up than usual. He would zone out more often as the tour came closer to the end. Their manager would just chalk it up to the weeks of dancing finally catching up to him but the boys knew better. His frustration would peek on the plane ride over to the point that the others practically begged their manager to let him go to your house since they didn't want to be witness to the nasty-ness that would surely be your reunion.

So when he got permission, with a bunch of rules like "Don't go out past 9pm, wear your hat and mask, no PDA, take separate taxis, blah blah blah", Dongwon was out of the apartment in a heartbeat. Phone in hand, he was calling you yet you didn't answer. It didn't bother him too much since around this time you were usually in the shower or cooking.

Deciding to just surprise you, he hoped out of the taxi and was at your apartment in record time. He used his key instead of punching in the code as to make the least amount of noise and couldn't keep the dopey smile from his lips when he heard you singing their latest song while in the shower. On his way to the bathroom, he discarded his hoddie on the couch, and shoes at the door.

You didn't even hear him open the door until a low chuckle floated in your ears once the song was over. Screaming, you dropped the shampoo bottle in your hand and nearly ripped the curtain from the rod hanging above you.

"Dongwon!" Your normally soothing voice seemed higher by a few octaves. "You scared me half to death! Baby, what are you doing here? I was getting ready to meet you at the dorm..."

You felt your lips move, but you couldn't pay much attention since he ripped his shirt from his lean body and then stripped of his jeans and briefs. Biting your lip to hide your smile, you closed the curtain and put the forgotten shampoo through your locks.

There was a quick movement behind you before the familiar warmth on your back made the grin break out on your face. Large hands covered your own to gently massage your hair and scalp. You let your eyes finally close when the water fell around your head and the unmistakable feeling of his lips pressing into your shoulder set a fire blazing in your body. He dragged his open-mouth kisses up to your neck and then stopping to pay careful attention to that one spot he knew had you weak in the knees.

"I've said this probably a million times now but," his voice, that low and deep tremble was another one of your weaknesses, especially when he was speaking so softly right in your ear. "I missed you, baby girl."

And that was it. He had you like putty in his hands for the rest of the evening. You had absolutely no complaints.

Inseong: You had asked their manager if it would be alright to wait in Inseong's room for him on the day they flew out so when you got the okay, you spent the entire day at their dorm. Nervously keeping yourself busy, you began to tidy up. They usually did quick cleaning so it had been awhile when someone got down and scrubbed the floors or cleaned the fans. You were too anxious to see Inseong again. This was the first tour that he had went on while you two were dating and, you just hoped he missed you like you missed him.

Inseong was not one to shy away from saying affectionate things, not at all. So he was always saying that he missed you, that he wanted to hold you at night when you said your bed felt so cold, that he couldn't wait to finally be able to touch you instead of imagining it through facetime.

Hours later, when the apartment smelt like lemon and bleach, the hardwood had no stains and all the laundry had been washed and folded, you fell back on the bed that had a faint smell of your boyfriend after you got out of the shower. You had threw on one of his t-shirts, even though it was much too big and covered you to your knees like a dress. All the activity and worrying had your eyes closing until the thumping could be heard from down the hall, specifically the front door.

"Why doesn't it smell like men and expired cologne? Did one of the cleaning crew come while we were on tour?" You heard Seoham question from the kitchen before there was almost frantic footsteps got louder as they moved in your direction.

A tired smile was on your lips as you got up and took exactly three steps to the door before it swung open and Inseong stopped dead in his tracks. Those large brown eyes you loved, wide and shining, froze as he looked down to your face. His hand was still on the door knob and he was standing motionless in the doorway. His lips moved to form words but the tears gathered in his eyes too quickly for him to stop them.

"Baby..." you whispered, finally taking a step towards him. "You're home."

Like a spell was broken, Inseong closed the door with his eyes never leaving yours. He blinked and the tears split over to run down his cheeks before those long arms were wrapped around your waist and crushing you into his chest. You felt him inhale deeply, his nose on your head before he released a shaking breath. Like he couldn't breathe without you near him. It made your heart swell and your hands hooked around his neck, even though you had to stretch to reach.

He was mumbling something under his breath but you didn't get to ask as those slender fingers cupped your cheeks and lifted your face. Your vision was a bit blurry due to your own tears so Inseong pressed his lips to your forehead then both eyelids and your nose before pausing at your lips. However, you tilted your face up and closed the distance yourself, your fingers curling in his hair to have some kind of leverage.

The breathy groan from the back of his throat caused Inseong to part from you, resting his forehead on yours. You reached up and wiped his own tears away, noticing his lips pull into a smile.

"I'm home."

Heejun: While Heejun was on tour, you had threw yourself into work, pulling double shifts and doing your reports faster than you ever had before to keep yourself from having to go back to the empty home. Without his laughter and loud music, your home felt like a cold shell of itself. It was depressing to have to walk in and not see that brilliant smile greet you when you stepped in.

So when you slumped in, at ten at night only to see a faint light from the kitchen, you figured you had left the light on. It hadn't been the first time but when you walked past and flicked the switch down, there was an amused grunt that had you frozen in your step.

"Yah, I was cleaning here."

The tiredness in your bones faded when you backed up and flipped it back on. Leaning over the sink was the naked back of Heejun, broad and muscles rippling as he scrubbed a pan before putting it in the drain next to the sink. Without a word, you found your way over to him, hands softly pressing into his back to make sure this was real.

"You just going to feel me up without saying hi?" Heejun teased, cutting off the water.

He was about to turn when your small arms (small to him) coiled around his waist as you pressed your body into his tightly. Your cheek rested against his skin and he smelt like your body soap mixed with that smell that could only be described as his own. Feeling him breathe beneath you and his hands cover your own, you kissed his skin. Heejun loosened your hold on him to turn around and face you, his arms looping around your shoulders to force you into his body.

You felt him inhale more than heard it, "I missed you, baby. You must be tired."

Humming, you stood on your toes to kiss his neck. "Only a little. When did you get back? I thought you said your flight was tomorrow afternoon."

"It was, but I bumped it up to surprise you. The guys are coming home tomorrow." His hands, still damp, rubbed over your hips before he took a step forward, making you walk backwards.

"We can catch up tomorrow," his voice whispered next to your ear. "Let's get you to bed, hm?"

#knk #knk reaction #knk scenario #kim jihun #park seoham #jeong inseong #lee dongwon #oh heejun #크나큰 #kunderdogs reactions #i don't even know whose my bias #im just trash at this point #had to repost since i uploaded it to my main blog #sorry everyone #didn't spell check as well

[skeletonwoman]

Your Face (Thor)

a thor fic! after all this time:? whato

You kicked your heels up onto the coffee table and spied Thor over the top of your mug.

Avengers Tower wasn’t really a thing anymore. And since he’d arrived in New York, talking about having his entire nation stationed somewhere in the Scandinavian woods, you’d been curious. Bruce had been there too- and Loki and an adorable rock fellow.

Oh. Is that not everyone?

Right.

Of course.

He also brought with him the Valkyrie.

Or Scrapper 142. Or… Well you didn’t actually know her real name.

She had to have one, everyone had one. Heimdall, Thor, Loki… The other hundreds of citizens… And anyway, the Valkyrie was a group, not a single entity so technically she shouldn’t be called that. She should be called A Valkyrie not “hey, Valkyrie” like she’s some object.

A really f*cking hot object, truly, but an object that has a whole lot of Thors respect and a whole lot of his gaze.

You’re such an idiot.

“Hello,” Loki coos, his voice slick and warm like a hot mud bath. “Gazing at my brother again?”

“He really works the whole one eye thing,” you answer, while not answering. “I always had a thing for pirates but I figured it was more the kind with two eyes… And yet.”

Loki laughs, like a shiver down your spine. “You know you don’t have a chance, right?”

You turn your face toward him slowly, and gaze at his sharp face for a long moment. “You’re going somewhere with this desolation game. I want to play, but I don’t want you to act like the doubts you’re planting are for anything other than your own gain.”

He smirked, just a little- wait, was that an actual small smile?

You take a sip of your warm hot chocolate and wait.

“I did something bad.”

You snort at this, but quickly set your cup on the coffee table and turn to him. Your legs curl underneath you and you set your cheek against the back of the couch.

“Tell me everything.” It has to be bad if he’s coming to you rather than his brother or literally anyone else.

“I accidentally conjured a sea monster and since you have that familiarity, I figured you could relate to it, keep it calm until I can send it back.”

You wait for him to say it’s a joke. Because… This cannot be real.

“Are you serious?”

He grimaces, ducking his chin and you instantly tuck the stray lock of hair that comes free behind his ear.

“Oh, Loki-”

“Brother!” Thor booms, suddenly beside the two of you and you squeak in surprise. “And Y/N! What an unusual pair!”

You peek up at him before forcing your gaze to Loki again. Leaning forward, your lips brush his ear as you whisper.

“Trace the building code and floor number on the back of my hand, I assume you don’t want him to know. I can probably find it on my own from there, right?” The words are barely past your lips before you feel a delicate B - -4 traced onto your palm.

Tilting your face, you press a kiss to his pale cheek bones before meeting his eyes with a long look and smiling. “See you both, I’ve got something to take care of.”

Thor grumbles darkly and you pat his bicep gently as you pass him by.

Its less of a sea monster and more of a sea lonely boy. The creature, with its seal like appearance and whale size, croons sadly at you and you hum softly. Its webbed back legs scrabble on the floor uselessly. Hopefully it doesn’t leave gouges too big.

“Sorry this is taking so long, darling.” You run your fingertip up its muzzle and between its solid white eyes, watching them track your finger and fall closed. “Where was he, Loki?”

“Hm?” Lokis face is obscured by another conjured spell book while he paces.

“Where in the ocean was he?” You’re considering a trip when this is all done. You certainly need a vacation, or you’ll get roped into the Asgard Project like everyone else.

“What? Marianas Trench? Is that what you humans call it again? The deepest bit.”

You chuckle softly and your furry friend prods your knee with its nose.

“It’s a rather large area but not so large, I suppose.” You hum, kneeling down and leaning against the beast. “You know I’m rather useless here, right?”

“What’re you saying, it’s calmed down very much since I conjured it. Thanks to you,” Loki counters kindly and you sigh.

Technically, the government doesn’t recognise sirens. Just like they don’t recognise gods or their ilk. So you’re technically an enhanced human and that’s all there is to it.

What you know is that as far back as you can remember, you’ve bounced from water location to water location and gone swimming every day up until you joined the Avengers. Turns out being able to manipulate water and recall the days when carriages trundled by daily isn’t regular.

Pity you’ve never met this ocean boy before.

“Well I-”

“I knew it!” Thor shouts as the door bangs open, his finger pointed and his voice dark and hurt. You watch him take in the image before him, his expression shifting from pain to surprise and finally disappointment.

“Brother,” he begins softly and you grimace, ducking down beside your seal friend. “What is this?”

“Y/N stole my books and conjured an ocean monster. I am here helping her get rid of it,” he says qyickly and you squawk with outrage.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Stop!” Thor booms and you wince. “Be honest, brother.”

“I am,” Loki says primly and you scowl blackly. How dare he. The snake. The beast. The rodent.

Waving a hand, a blast of water splatters him in the face and he splutters. “Okay, perhaps… I am just a mite at fault.”

“I see,” Thor says and you sigh. Loki is a rodent but he’s still a bit of a pitiful one.

“I insisted that I knew every sea creature there was and Loki countered that I didn’t and thusly demanded he show proof of a creature I did not know. He was correct.” You gesture vaguely at the seal creature who emits a sad whale song.

“Now, that’s-”

“True,” you say and sigh pathetically. Gently, you glance at Thor through your eyelashes and spot him softening. Despite the fact that he does not respect, love or truly care for you, he is not immune to your siren song. “We’re trying to return him.”

Staring at the mirror, you frown. As with every shape changer you’ve known, you have your doubts. Is this your face? Is it changing? If everyone sees something different when they look upon you- their most desirable counterpart, then is your face truly your face? What is your true likeness, if photos cannot capture your face? Are you truly a blurred figure and what you see in the mirror is your own most desired visage?

Scrubbing your palms over your cheeks, you turn away. What is the point of questioning.

You’d learned earlier today that Loki saw you as an ambiguously dusky beauty with honeyed hair and eyes as black as tar. Apparently, also, Loki was an ass man.

You hadn’t learned Thors picture of you but you knew Steves- a dark haired white woman with bright eyes and red lips- Natashas, a medium built woman with gentle eyes and an imperceptibly false unassuming air- and Buckys, a woman with dark skin and a soft voice who’s smile brought out deep dimples.

How you knew all this, you don’t want to know- except that they’d all never made a move on you and all held you in the utmost respect.

Stepping out into the hall, you bounded your way to the common room. Skidding to a halt at the sight of Thor and the Valkyrie, you shifted on your feet. Your sudden stop was awkward and now you’re stuck in a vortex of awkward.

“Hello, Pretty,” the Valkyrie smiled and you forced yourself to smile back. You did like her, mostly, and it’s not like it was her fault that your crush didn’t like you back. “Your hair, it’s purple now, almost black.”

Blushing at the outright comment, you chuckle uncomfortably and step toward the kitchen.

“Don’t leave, we were just discussing you,” says her smokey voice. “I’m not often attracted to mortal women but you… have something about you. I was discussing it with Thor.”

At the mention of his name, you glance at him and he flushes. “Nothing-”

“Disrespectful,” Valkyrie finishes for him, rolling her eyes. “He’s completely boring when it comes to you. All “Don’t say that, she’s very nice, don’t talk about her like that, blah blah blah.””

You gaped and Thor blinked suddenly.

“She doesn’t have purple hair,” he says out of the blue and you quietly choke. Oh, boy. It’s one thing for it to be quiet knowledge that your face isn’t your face, it’s another to talk about it outright. “It’s Y/H/C.”

You freeze at the words, stopping your slow crawl to the kitchen and staring at him.

“No, it’s purple. Purple hair, black eyes and a fat ass.”

The crass words make you flinch and Thor frowns unhappily. “You’re wrong.”

Staring, you listen as he describes the woman in your mirror, down to the minutest detail and you wonder if your heart is as loud as it sounds. It’s like magic. Someone finally seeing you. Seeing… You…

He likes you.

He likes you.

With a soft smile, you slip into the kitchen and start planning.

finish o

#thor fic #thor fanfiction #thor imagine #thor fanfic #thor odinson

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Tall Tales- Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,828

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual, Gabriel feels, comedy, bitchy and whiny Winchester brothers (come on, you’ve all seen the episode)

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“Alright, Sam, how about you talk to those college students and Dean and I talk around? Maybe we can get something that you might not know.” You said, biting your lip.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you want, Y/N.” Sam said with a smile, going to do as he was told. You looked at Dean and chuckled, grabbing his hand.

“You know, you look so hot right now.” Dean said, whispering against your ear.

“You’re the one who picked this out for me. I just went along with it.” You said with a grin, showing off your tight shirt that had your breasts falling out of it, tight shorts that barely reached your mid-thigh and black boots which went up to below your knee.

“Damn, I don’t regret anything.” Dean said with a smirk, walking you over to you the bar.

“Okay, Dean, I would never leave the house wearing that and you know it. You just wished that were on me.” You said, stopping Dean from telling his story.

“What were you wearing then?” Dean asked, teasing you a little.

“Flannel and jeans with sneakers. Like I usually wear. Get the facts straight.” You said, looking over at Bobby who glared a bit at Dean. You guess that even though he knew you and Dean were together, that he didn’t like what he was hearing.

“Alright, fine,” Dean said, going back to his story.

You walked up to the bar with Dean, hand in hand with him. The bouncy bartender made her way over here, happy to talk to a man like Dean. You didn’t mind, after all, you trusted Dean with all your heart and knew he wouldn’t ever hurt you.

“What can I get for you two?” She asked with a smile.

“What’s a purple nurple?” Dean said. You giggled at the name, it sounding like a very bad porno movie.

“Why don’t you have a try? It’s delicious.” She said, already getting started on making the drink.

“Alright, give us two, please.” Dean said, looking at you.

“Why call it a purple nurple?” You asked.

“You’ll see when you drink it.” She said, not saying anything more than that. She quickly made the drinks and handed you each a shot glass. You picked it up, clanking your glass with Dean’s. You downed the shot, immediately feeling the effects.

“Wow, now I understand why it’s called that.” You said, feeling your nipples rise to attention as soon as the glass was empty.

“It looked like to me that you didn’t come here to try a purple nurple, though. So, what else can I do for you?” She asked, making you another drink.

“We heard about an urban legend here in this town. You’re the bartender so you hear all kinds of stories. What are some of them?” Dean asked, looking at her.

“I’m sorry, I can’t really concentrate. You’re just so hot.” She said, smirking. You then grabbed Dean’s face and pressed your lips to it, having enough of this. He kissed you back and the bartender left, knowing where she wasn’t wanted.

“Dean! What do you think you’re doing?” Sam said as he approached the bar.

“Sam, please, if you wouldn’t mind. Give us five minutes please. I would love to kiss my girlfriend.” Dean said, smooth and casual.

“Dean, this is a serious investigation. We don’t have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah Blah!” Sam continued to ramble but Dean wasn’t having any of it. He leaned in and kissed you again, making sure you would remember that he was there.

“Blah!!” Sam said loudly.

“Okay, you’re such a fucking liar. That is not how it happened at all. I don’t even sound like that!” Sam complained, glaring at Dean.

“That's what you sound like to me.” Dean said with a grin, not sorry he was pissing his brother off.

“Okay. What's going on with you two? You’re acting like an old married couple.” Bobby said, looking at the brothers.

“I told you you’ll get a kick out of this.” You said with a grin, leaning back on the bed.

“No, see married couples can get divorced. Me and him, we're like, uh, Siamese twins.” Dean said, getting up and walking over to the makeshift kitchen.

“It's conjoined twins!” Sam exclaimed.

“See what I mean?” Dean said, getting a beer from the fridge.

“Bobby, they’re always like this. You just don’t live with them and are by their sides constantly.” You said, knowing the reason they were like this. But you wanted Bobby to hear most of the story.

“So anyway. We figured it might be a haunting, so we went to check out the scene of the crime.” Sam said.

“Oh, so, are you telling it like how it really happened or the bullshit story you thought you saw?” Dean said.

“Shut the hell up and let me talk.” Sam said, getting right into the crime scene.

“Alright, this should be easy work. Only the janitor is left in here so we go in, we find what we need and we leave.” Sam said, looking at you and Dean.

“Stop staring at us like we’re animals, Sam.” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“I’m not. I just know how you can get with Dean.” Sam said with a shrug.

“Maybe you’re just jealous that I’m with Dean. Are you feeling lonely?” You said with a teasing smile.

“Alright, shut up. Let’s just go inside.” Sam said, walking inside the building first. You followed, looking around the empty place. The next thing you knew, the janitor was greeting you. You got a weird vibe from him and tried to ignore it but the closer you got, the stronger it got.

“Hi, we’re here to look at the wiring in the building. But mainly in the offices upstairs.” Sam said, shaking the man’s hand. The janitor shook Dean's and moved onto you. One touch from his hand, you gasped as your eyes glossed over.

Flashes of a man with huge ass wings was all you could see. You could tell he was an Angel but not just any Angel. He was much more powerful than this. You needed to tell Sam and Dean quick. But the janitor touched your shoulder as soon as he let go of your hand.

All you saw were sparkles that flitted across your vision and you couldn’t remember anything about what you saw.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, just can’t believe the history this town has.” You said, smiling at the janitor who seemed to be watching you closely.

“If you would follow me, please.” The janitor said, taking his hand off you and leading you upstairs to the professor’s office, the one that died.

“So, how long have you worked here?” Sam asked, walking into the office.

“I've been mopping this floor for six years,” The janitor said, turning on the light to the office. Sam immediately took out his EMF reader and the janitor saw, his eyes widening. “What the heck's that for?”

“Just to find a wire in the walls.” Sam lied easily.

“Huh. Wow. Not sure why you're wiring up this office. Not gonna do the professor much good.”

“Why is that?” You asked him, making eye contact with him.

“He’s dead.” The janitor said bluntly.

“Oh, wow, what happened?” Dean asked, as if he hadn’t heard the story.

“He went out that window. Right there. I was the one who found him.” You nodded and looked around the room, noticing there was a bowl of peanuts on the table. But before you could grab some and eat it, Dean beat you to it, literally stuffing his face full of them.

“Did you see it happen?” Sam asked, trying to make casual conversation.

“Nope. I just saw him come up here, and uh, well, he wasn’t alone.” The janitor said sheepishly. Dean continued to eat the nuts, not fazed by anything going on.

“Who was he with?” Dean said, his mouth full of the nuts, making his speech muffled. You looked over at Dean and cracked up laughing, loving how cute he was.

“Wow, all those nuts in your mouth… Can I have some? But I prefer two really big nuts that aren’t in that bowl.” You said with a smirk, hinting at something.

“Okay, hold the fuck up, since when do I talk like that? You’re making it sound like I’m addicted to sex. Is that really how you view me?” You asked Sam.

“I have no problem with you being addicted to sex. Not when it’s with me.” Dean said, winking as he drank his beer from the kitchen.

“Can we focus, please?” Bobby said with an eyeroll, not wanting to hear about his daughter’s sex life.

“Okay, but just one more thing, I didn’t eat that entire bowl, man. I only had one, maybe two!” Dean said, moving on to more pressing matters. You loved the Winchesters but lately, they’ve been fighting about the smallest of things. Yes, you know why this is happening but it did get annoying.

“Just let me tell it, okay?” Sam said, going right back where he left off.

“He was with a young lady. I told the cops about her when they got here but they never found her, I guess.” The janitor said, looking at Dean, moving his eyes to you. You felt like he was trying to read you, like, figure you out or something.

Like he knew more than he was letting on. But you just couldn’t put your finger on it which was weird since you usually could.

“So, you saw the girl go in but did you see her come back out?” Sam asked, grabbing the janitor’s attention away from you.

“Now that you mention it, no.”

“You ever see her before, around?”

“Well, not her.” The janitor said with a shrug. Didn’t he find it weird that some electricians were trying to play cop and asking him all these questions?

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, his voice still muffled from all the peanuts in his mouth. Sam glared at him but the janitor didn’t seem to mind.

“I don't mean to cast aspersions on a dead guy, but uh… Mister Morality here? He brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat.” Dean laughed heartedly at this but Sam shut him up with a glare. You giggled and the janitor grinned at you, glad he could make you laugh.

“One more thing. This building, it only has four stories, right?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Just curious, is all.” Sam said, looking at you. If there were only four stories, that mean the legend about the girl jumping off the 6th floor was false. Dean still chewed happily, looking at you. You giggled and wiped the corner of his mouth. Any excuse to touch him.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith  @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967  @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4 @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @mizzezm @goldenolaf25 @jessikared97

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @carribear31 @tacklesackles @oreosatmidnight @not-naturalfangirl @missselinakitty @iam-a-cutiepie  @kristendansmith @milo-winchester-4ever @jensenackesl @codyshany316 @pheonyxstorm @helllonearth @juniorhuntersam @pouterpufftrain @ruprecht0420 @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012 @aubreystilinski

Series Rewrite Junkies:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22 @tahbehonest @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight @valerieshubin @seninjakitey @flyonlittlewinchester  @aubreystilinski @rocketqueeens

#Supernatural series rewrite #tall tales #dean winchester #dean winchester crack #dean winchester x reader #spn series rewrite #dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #dean x reader insert #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean #dean crack #dean fic #series rewrite #series rewrite masterlist #dean winchester series rewrite #season 2 episode 15 #s2e15 #s2e15 spoilers #spoilers #spn #spn spoilers #supernatural #supernatural spoilers #sam #sammy #Sam Winchester #bobby

[orchestrash]

i’m rolling my eyes at myself for being on this stupid website here making a post on new years eve but here are some facts about this past year:

it was shit!! laying in bed skipping class eating cereal watching the occasional movie until 2:30 pm uhhhhh not the best choice! leaving school in the middle of the day to use my down time to lay in bed (including that one time i accidentally fell asleep and was an HOUR late to rehearsal) - waste of time!! so yeah the first half of 2017 wasn’t my lowest point but was maybe my most embarrassing (also that email i sent out to only like three people with an attached flyer with a TYPO, still trying to live that down)

summer? summery. some real heart stopping beauty (mostly seeing the WA coast) and feeling for the first time in a while like i actually wanted something out of my life, like i actually wanted to DO something, like maybe my endgame wasn’t actually laying in bed until the afternoon and doing barely the bare minimum required for the rest of my life

and then the fall was a constant challenge of those beliefs!! like, hey audrey isn’t it embarassing that for 20 seconds you actually aspired to be something? like, you’re a joke. but u know what? maybe i can be a joke! I love to make people laugh! in addition it was marked by knowing that there are so many good things in my life and all those good things will one day end, bc everything in life is sooo finite! we are all just here coming in and out of everyone elses lives and everything you love...... will leave (except the ocean and the mountains, the earth will outlive me but it might not outlive humanity)

so how to i feel about 2018?? well i can’t tell if it really is self-sabotage or i actually can predict the future but here’s what i see:

i see myself being challenged at every corner i turn by the self loathing i let into my heart all those years ago! but i see myself healing and reframing the past and giving love to the version of me that needed it most and telling her i SEE her. and that’s all i want. i think that’s all we all want actually, or most of us, idk. to be SEEN, to not be afraid of who we are or who we were and hide nothing, let people love the things about ourselves that hurt us the most. (to be truly vulnerable and to know we are SAFE, the same thing i told myself just a few days before i turned 19)

and yeah, next fall is gonna be weird, my senior year is gonna be weird! some of my close friends are gonna be farther away than i’m used to and i’m not as good at being lonely as i used to be, and i was so unhappy then anyway. sometimes i struggle with the reality that we meet all these people in our lives and sometimes its only for the briefest period of time. people live for decades!! maybe i’ll be one of them! and then there are the people who are in our lives for only a handful of years that change us so much! i mourn every friendship i’ve ever lost dating back to like, age five (katie, my first bff in kindergarten! sheryl from middle school!) and preemptively mourn everything that hasn’t ended...... yet

so, idk, what’s the real point of this post? what are some actual concrete goals that can make 2018 less shitty than some previous years?

when you hear that voice, the part of you you imagine as a rude guest at a dinner party (shows up, insults the food, is rude to everyone, makes mean comments insulting EVERYTHING, is a huge dick, and all the other guests are like ‘bro you didn’t even have to come, youre only bringing everyone down w your toxic behavior) don’t ask it to leave nicely! fight it! punch it! punch the wall! sob loudly! just don’t let it make you stop, no matter how stupid it makes you feel. you have my permission to feel stupid for trying but to keep trying anyway. not bc one day you’ll prove you wrong about yourself (lets hope you do but lets not count on it) but bc laying in bed all day or failing before trying is worse than ATTEMPTED productivity, or at least the illusion of it

oh god, pls start doing cardio again. don’t look back at recordings from freshman year and go... wow isnt the slimness of my face and the contour of where my neck and chin meet superior? like sure maybe audrey of winter 2016 didnt have the most healthy weightloss habits but in the spring when your eating habits became like uhhh, somewhat disordered, that’s when you started gaining weight again (also its not about your weight, its about your health, blah blah, blah, body image issues? never hear of them)

cook yourself some nice nutritious food. youll actually feel better and i know you know it!!!

read a fucking book! i mean you’ve been okay at this including poetry you read like 30 books this year so like high five man but just..... keep reading. 

make something out of your commute dont just sit on tumblr or stare into space

i know you think its impossible to work smarter when youre uhhh, kinda stupid, but try it. just, try.

just pls actually learn a fucking thing about how to play the tin whistle

keep writing and keep being vulnerable with yourself and don’t lie and don’t hide when no one else is looking bc it’s uh, pointless. i mean, you’re getting good at this but no one will SEE you if you don’t let them. you know this. you know this.

#i.... dont make these posts anymore usually bc i started journaling again but i haven't done that in a while and god #ive been on this website since like age 15 i can't let go don't judge me #text #it also feels nice to make a semi public declaration of like the things that i think of 24/7 #THIS IS A FUCKING NOVEL OF A POST can you tell i hvan't written in my journal in like three weeks #properly at least #all my entries are short #maybe ill make a short one after this #then read #wow now even my tags are becomieng stupid lon #g #have i ever mentioned that i have uhhh never had a problem meeting word counts bc i can talk about crap for ever and ever once i get started #trashpost #i...... might delete this in the morning #dudes #this post is like me returning to my roots #oversharing on tumblr was like a PART OF ME #fuck this website i mean i may never leave but god fuck this whold gaddamn place #but also bless it for giving me an outlet of sorts when i didn't know what tf uhhh about anything #this whole post mustnt make much sense but yet here we are

[sunlitroom]

Gotham s3e22 - HeavyDirtySoul

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham.

We don’t get one because it was like two minutes ago.

As always, long post will be long - monstrously long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot may appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

GCPD is deserted as a TV tells us that the city is in lockdown.  Jim is watching while twitchily fighting the virus.  He receives another phone call from Lee.

He asks where she is, and tells her the city isn’t safe.  Lee is drinking again – and tells Jim she’s leaving town and wants him with her. She's been beating this drum for ages.  Jim says there are checkpoints everywhere.  Lee says they can be together without judgment or secrets or jealousy

(An aside.  Apart from Galavan – which Lee guessed – where were the secrets?  It was sold to us that Jim told Lee everything, he certainly told her about Barker. And the judgment?  She forgave everything – was more than willing to turn a blind eye to two murders.  Jealousy? After they’d broken up, and Lee was engaged.  So…. just random words, there, then?)

Don't we deserve that?

Jim is silent.  Lee sighs and changes tack.  She’s leaving on a train

I want the real you.  Tell me you'll stop fighting it.  I won't lose you again. Tell me you'll be there

I'll be there.

(An aside – God - they'd be a really unpleasant couple.)

Harvey enters the room. Barbara and Nygma gave the mayor’s office a list of demands in return for Jervis.  The only deliverable item on it is Oswald.  Harvey refuses – he says they don’t have the authority to broker a secret deal, much less one that would lead to the death of a former mayor. (and I’d quietly like to think, and it’s quietly implied, that Harvey also finds this wrong).

Jim is all growly.  He knows Ed will betray Barbara and hand over Tetch.  He does a silly snarl

I need to save Lee

(An aside: You know – I’m guessing that this is supposed to be super-romantic but, honestly, it just makes Jim sound like a selfish creature.  The fact that the relationship isn’t really engaging doesn’t help. Everyone and anything is collateral damage for the resumption of a relationship which was pretty seriously flawed, featuring a queasily self-righteous couple.)

He grabs Harvey

I don't have much time.  It’s now or never

Harvey looks at him seriously.

You know, one of these days I'm going to say never

 Sirens.  Jim phones Ed and offers a deal.  In the background, Butch tells Tabitha it’s time to kill Barbara. She’s insulted Tabitha in every way possible.  Tabitha weakly mentions the money.  Butch tells her that he knows they were close, but she treats her like dirt now, and doesn’t deserve her loyalty.

Barbara approaches, and asks them what they’re talking about.  Butch covers, and asks if there’s any word from city hall.  Barbara is confident they’re about to own the town. Barbara asks where Ed is.  They all notice he’s gone.  Running to a small room – they find Jervis is gone.  Barbara screams in rage

Nygma!

She accuses Tabitha and Butch of idiocy before storming out.

 Jim, Harvey and Oswald are heading out to some police cars. Oswald wants to know where they’re going.

I’m not trying to aggravate you - but this doesn't seem above board.

Jim gravels annoyingly.

It’s small price to pay for saving the city

Oswald snaps back at him.

Yeah for you -  for me it’s a very large price.  Look, he cannot be trusted – you’re risking everything based on the word of a sociopath

Jim snarls at him to get in the car

Harvey looks ill

They get out at a warehouse. Oswald speaks again.

Look - if I'm going to be city's sacrificial lamb, the least you could do is lead me to slaughter with a little dignity.

Jim says no

Oswald turns threatening.

You don't think that I can't cause you trouble inside?

More snarling from Jim. Such nuance.

You do and I'll kill you.

No you won't - not before you have Tetch, or make the exchange and after that what do you care?

Harvey uncuffs him. Oswald thanks him.

(An aside.  My shipping preferences completely aside – we saw Jim, two episodes ago, tell Oswald to stay away from the Court business for his own sake.  It suggests that he does, in fact, not utterly despise him and want him dead. Buuut – suddenly he’s not only blithely OK with assuring his death, but he might just kill him out of temper?  

You could easily have Jim make this call – say he has no option if he wants to save the city – and at least have him tell Oswald that with some sort of regret, or try to appeal to his own love for the city of which he was mayor.  But they don’t.  They just make him as dickish as possible.)

The warehouse, where Ed greets them

My three favourite men

Jervis looks small and scared beside him.

(An aside – Jervis, again, looks genuinely pitable.  Like Barnes, he’s been hauled out of Arkham and used)

Ed gives it his usual hot air: Oswald’s death at his hands was inevitable, blah, blah, blah.

Jim points out that Jervis is wearing a grenade – Ed says this is a precaution.  

Try anything and - Kaboom.  No more Tetch.  No more antidote

(An aside - stop manhandling Jervis, Ed.)

Oswald taunts Ed

A little crude

Jim cuts in to growl and yell, because the virus apparently brings out the laziest and most reductive writing for him.

Jervis’ eyes light up

You're infected - oh, how wonderful

We see that Oswald's head snaps round – this is news to him

(An aside.  No – I’m sorry.  What?  What?  He didn't get that in the slaughterhouse - when Jim was casually tossing assassins all over the place? He didn’t get it when JIM PICKED HIM UP BY THE THROAT AND SINGLEHANDEDLY HELD HIM OVER HIS HEAD? Are you kidding me? Seriously?  What.  The.  Fuck)

Nyyygmaaaa!

Barbara has arrived.

Did you think you could get away with this?

Ed asked how she figured out where they were.  Babs has cops on the payroll.  She turns to Jim, and delivers one of the other best lines of the episode:

Honey – you might want to use your 'inside growl' when making secret calls

She demands that Ed hand Tetch over

No-one knows what to do for a moment, then Ed grabs the grenade from Jervis' neck chain and rolls it towards Barbara.

Everyone scatters. Jim and Harvey grab Tetch.   Oswald runs for the door.  Ed chases him.

Butch and Tabs aim for Ed, but Barbara tells them to get Tetch instead, to Tabitha’s annoyance.

Ed finally gets outside - where Oswald is waiting for him with a metal pole, giving him one hell of a wallop on the back of the head.  Well done Oswald!

(An aside – I actually said this out loud and applauded.  It was a downright magnificent moment)

Jim, Harvey and Jervis finally make it out, only to see Oswald stealing their car, waving and grinning at them as he drives away.

That's…that’s beautiful, it really is.  This is maybe the happiest I’ve been all season.

 A chaotic hospital where Alfred is being wheeled in.  A curious doctor asks asks how the wound was  cauterized. Bruce says he doesn’t know.  He asks Bruce’s relationship to patient?

We're family

Alfred is prepped for surgery.

 Meanwhile, Jim and co still running from Tabitha, Barbara, and Butch. Jim breaks the chain on a fence, and they run into a warehouse.  We see them hide as Tabitha, Butch and Barbara search.  Barbara tries to taunt Jim out of hiding.

You and the ex are infected huh?  Lee wants to remove my pretty little head.  Is it weird it makes me like her?  You thinking about ripping my head off?

So close, says Jervis, watching Jim fulminate.  Next time you give in – you’re done.  He tells Jim the virus will give him strength, and laughs – telling him to give into the darkness.  Jim grabs his face.  Jervis tells him he can see he wants to kill him, but if he does, then he doesn’t get an antidote.  Harvey tells Jim to fight it,

He's right, we need him

But Jim has made a decision

Yeah - but not all of him

He clamps a hand over Jervis’ mouth, muffling his scream.

We see Barbara hear a sound. When she runs to the source she finds Jervis, whose throat has been cut, and is chained to a trolley – looking half-dead.

(An aside - that's just terrible. Jervis is an inexcusable person – but what the fuck?  That was hideous)

Barbara is similarly appalled - oh Jim, you sick bastard

Back at GCPD, Jim and Harvey hand a jar of blood to a confused lab tech.

 Police cars scream past a parked car.  We see an unconscious Ed begin to stir.  I’m surprised his skull is intact, to be honest.  That was one hell of a swing.  Oswald grins and sing-songs

He's awa-ake. I was getting lonely.

They had to hide briefly from a police blockade.  Ed asks where he’s taking him.  Oswald smiles.  He doesn’t know- he’s improvising.  And it’s not like Ed has any place he needs to be. Ed comments that he assumes he’ll be dragging this out?

(An aside – remember digging up Oswald’s father’s corpse?  Yeah – shut up, Ed.)

Oswald smiles beatifically.

There are so few moments of pure joy in one’s life - I feel compelled to savour this one

Ed is surreptitiously using a tie pin he found in the back seat  to undo his cuffs.

You mean gloat – it always was your least attractive quality, Oswald.

Oswald jabs right back – sarcastically saying he’s not as smart as Ed, then pointing out that all Ed’s planning -  driving him crazy, destroying his empire, desecrating his father’s remains, taking him to the river – all for nothing.

Ed can’t handle this criticism.

That plan was perfect - you know it

Oswald laughs at him.

You failed.  I am still alive, while you are handcuffed in the back seat - never able to correct your mistake

Ed smirks, still surreptitiously working on the handcuffs.

Guess not

 At Sirens, Babs is stuffing money in a bag, ranting about Ed, and getting to a safehouse to regroup. Tabitha asks what they’re regrouping for.  Barbara spits for whatever the hell she tells them to do.  Tabitha’s jaw drops.  Butch says he isn't waiting anymore – Barbara has broken every promise.  The safehouse is the perfect place to get rid of her. Tabitha finally agrees, and says they’ll do it together.  Butch nods, and Tabitha kisses him.

 Jim is trashing the locker room. Harvey enters, and cracks a joke to break the tension before telling Jim that they’ve found an antidote.  Jim says he needs to get to Lee, and they head to the lab.  When they get there, the tech asks Jim to roll up his sleeve, and tries to explain about how the antidote is made, and why it takes time.  Jim barks that he doesn’t have time – he needs to catch Lee before she leaves.  He grabs at the antidote, breaking the tech’s wrist – by the looks of it – and storms out, leaving him on the floor. Lovely.  Great job, Jim.  Well done.

 Back at hospital, Bruce waits, head in hands.  Selina approaches tentatively.  She’s heard about Alfred, and want to know if he’s going to be OK.  Bruce tells her to go home.  She asks what happens, and Bruce has an outburst.  He tells her she doesn’t get to walk back into his life.  He doesn’t need her pity.  He tells her she wouldn’t understand – anyway.

Selina looks taken aback at the sudden hostility, and answers defensively.

Because I'm not desperate to believe in something?

Bruce lashes out at her.

You don't believe in anything or anyone but yourself!

(An aside – I’m guessing Bruce is partly lashing out due to his guilt – he doesn’t want to admit what happened to Alfred.  That being said, his accusation is just…. not even slightly true.  He’s had so much evidence to the contrary that Selina is a generous and loyal person, who believes in friendship, and longs for family – so this feels a little like conflict for conflict’s sake.)

Selina’s face turns icy

It's called surviving.

She aims a shot of her own.

And unlike you – I know who I am.  I don't need anyone to tell me

Bruce then says something fairly unforgiveable, and – again – without foundation.

What are you doing here, anyway? You don't care about Alfred and you sure as hell don't care about me.  I know you better than that.

Selina’s face hardens completely.

Yeah - I thought you did.  Have a nice life

She leaves.

 Jim is at Lee’s house. I’m summarising this because I’m terminally bored with this plotline.  Lee goes on some more about giving into darkness and how much she wants his darkness.  They kiss. She stops Jim from administering the antidote, and crushes the vial under her heel.

 Oswald is humming chirpily as he drives.  In the backseat, Ed smirks - he's free.  He immediately sets about provoking Oswald.

Don't you get tired of making the same mistake over and over? You should have killed me when you got the chance.

He suggests Oswald is prolonging this for egotistical reasons.  Oswald laughs

You want to talk ego, riddler?

Ed tells him that he will always fail because he lest base emotions drive him, like hate, anger, fear….. love.

Oswald’s eyes spark with temper, and he tells Ed to shut up.  Ed goes on, saying he could never have loved Oswald, because he’s a spoiled child who throws a tantrum any time he doesn't get what he wants -  especially when what he wants doesn't want him back.

(An aside - does strangling your girlfriend count as a tantrum?  Enquiring minds would like to know)

Oswald loses his temper – stopping the car.  He tells Ed he’s right - he shouldn't have waited, and unlike Ed, he’s in a position to rectify his mistake.

Prepare for one massive tantrum

As he leaves the car, though, Ed flings the door open, causing Oswald to drop his gun.  He screams in rage on the pavement as Ed aims the gun at him

No  - it’s not possible – it’s my turn to kill you!

Ed plucks his hat from Oswald’s head, telling him he will always fail because he cannot change.  Oswald sneers

Maybe – but at least I know who I am.  That day by the edge of the river was when you were reborn and that was a lie.  Your entire persona is based on a lie and there is nothing you can do to change that.

Ed considers,

Actually - maybe there is.

 At the railway station, we see travel checkpoints.  Jim and Lee are trying to skip town using sunglasses as a cunning disguise.  We hear a commotion – Harvey searching for him. Lee turns to Jim

He's trying to stop us.  You can't let him. I'll see you on the train

Harvey points his gun at Jim.

You gonna shoot me, Harvey?

Harvey looks desperate

This isn’t you

Jim snarls that it is him. Harvey begs him not to make him do this. Jim tells him that he and Lee belong together.

I know how bad you want that, to forget about everything that happened - but you can't.  It's not real.

This enrages Jim, and he hurls Harvey against the train carriage.

This is who I am!

Harvey just stares at him sadly.  Jim snarls again.

This is who I've always been!

Harvey shakes his head.

Who you are is a choice - always has been, still is.

He holds up Jim’s badge

This who you are.  The best cop I've ever worked with, and the best friend I've ever had. If you love Lee, then go save her

Jim raises his fist, and punches the carriage.

 Jim boards the train and spots Lee.  She smiles.

To our great adventure.  

Yes, being the couple everyone avoids on the train.

Lee gives their ticket to the conductor.  Jim looks at his badge, which has two vials of antidote attached.  Telling Lee he loves her, he administers the antidote.  

No - what have you done?

She passes out, and then he administers it to himself.  They both slump, unconscious.

 Back in the city, Butch is checking a hacksaw in the boot of his car.  Barbara approaches – she’s figured out what’s planned: he and Tabitha have been whispering like teenagers for weeks.  She says they shouldn’t have waited – and Butch says that if it wasn’t for Tabitha, she’d have been dead.  Barbara’s face is cold and hard, but wobbles when Butch says her hostility towards him comes from missing Tabitha’s loyalty and strength – which see sacrificed to play queen for a day.  He says she’s pathetic, and that she never deserved her.  

Barbara shoots him in the head.

I guess we’ll see.

 At the hospital, Bruce pleads with Alfred not to leave him.

 The docks again with Ed and Oswald.  Oswald seems resolute, standing at the edge of the pier.  Ed is chattering excitedly

Here we are again.  Wow! I have to tell you, this feels really great.

Oswald smiles. I’m glad I could help

Ed asks if he has any last words.  Oswald shrugs mildly.

I'm fine for now.

Ed frowns

I beg your pardon

Oswald reiterates

I'll wait

Ed loses patience.

I’m going to kill you now - not later – if you have something to say, now is the time

Oswald nods amiably.

Duly noted

Ed’s face twists in anger, because Oswald is spoiling his idea of how this should go.

I won't let you ruin this for me. I have something to say.  Goodbye, Oswald.

He pulls the trigger, and we hear a click.

Oswald presses his hand to the same spot where Ed shot him the first time… and takes bullets out of his waistcoat pocket

I removed the bullets when you were out, right before I called them.

He nods behind Ed.  It’s worth noting here how cool and composed Oswald is here, totally in control.

Ed turns to see Ivy, Victor and Bridget.  Oswald walks over to his new friends and family.

Ed looks sick as the realisation of how utterly he’s been played hits him

In the back seat, the pin.

Oswald smiles.

My tie pin.  I thought it should be personal

Ed shuts his eyes

You just trying to make me thing I had the upper hand.  But how did you know Barbara would show up at the warehouse?

I didn't.   If it wasn't for her - Gordon would have turned me over and I’d most likely be dead.  

He smiles and spreads his hands.

Fortune favours the bold

Ivy is watching, stone faced to an impressive degree.  Oswald’s her friend, and so Ed can go fuck himself.  

Ed sounds shaken to his core.

You said called after I was knocked out.  You knew I'd bring you here

Oswald smiles pityingly.

I might be driven by emotions, but you're driven by something much more predictable: a desperate, compulsive need to complete what you’ve started in exacting fashion.

It’s a brilliant, devastating blow.  Ed thinks he can outwit anyone – that his intellect makes him better, beyond the bounds of how others’ think.  But Oswald has just demonstrated that Ed is completely limited by his psychology, doomed to be outwitted.  He’s destroyed him here – made a complete fool of him, demonstrated his superiority in every way.

Ed looks destroyed. He asks Oswald why he doesn’t just kill him.  Oswald says that Ed is the one time he allowed love to make him weak.  His presence will be a constant reminder never to make the same mistake again.

(An aside – it’s a nice detail that Oswald doesn’t blanket say that all love is bad and makes you weak. He has proof to the contrary: Gertrud, Elijah, Fish.)

Ivy is still stone-faced – waiting.  Ed realises what’s coming and yells no – but to no avail – Victor freezes him.

(An aside.  This scene is glorious.  It harks back to season one Oswald:  manipulative, shrewd, daring – excelling in game-playing.  He’s had such a protracted time of being kicked about, controlled, humiliated, and seeing him back in control of himself again is intensely satisfying.  He acknowledges his faults, embraces his strengths, sees and accepts himself for who he is – and is all the stronger for it.)

Tabitha arrives at the safehouse, calling out for Barbara and Butch.  There’s a silver case on the table, which, when she opens it, reveals Butch's hand. Tabitha looks pained

Barbara approaches – tears in her eyes, but still furious.

Was killing Nygma really that important to you?

Tabitha has tears in her eyes, back to Barbara, hands up

Did you kill Butch?

Barbara doesn’t answer this directly

He said you didn't have anything to do with it.  Is that true?

Tabitha looks and sounds tired: what does it matter?

Barbara wants to know if they can move on.  Tabitha asks a question first.

Did you kill Butch?  I need to know.  It’s the only way to move forward.

Barbara admits she did. An expression of pain passes over Tabitha’s face.  It’s worth remembering that Tabitha was willing to sacrifice a hand to save Butch’s life.  Whatever the relationship might have started out as, it became meaningful to her.  Barbara speaks again

I killed him – it’s not like you gave me a choice

Tabitha looks resolved. She echoes Harvey’s words from earlier.

There's always a choice

There’s a long fight, notable mostly for this line from Barbara

I told you not to bring a whip to a gun fight

Tabitha uses her whip to pulls down a light.  It catches a metal grille at Barbara’s back, and she is electrocuted.

Now we can move forward

 A TV set in Alfred’s hospital room informs us that the antidote had a 90% cure rate.  Bruce is distracted as Alfred coughs and wakes – and launches himself at him for a hug.  He apologises.  Alfred tells him it wasn’t his fault.  Bruce talks about his identity woes.

I completely lost my way.  I’ve been trying to find who I am for so long.  Who am I supposed to be?

Alfred says he’s a man now, and will have to discover that on his own.  Bruce says he’s not like Alfred, who’s always seemed so sure. Alfred says he’s not always been so sure, and has been in very dark places.  But Bruce needs to find his true north.  Bruce asks what his true north is and Alfred, of course, tells him that Bruce has always been his true north.  Bruce needs to find something he really cares about and protect it at all costs. When he finds it, he’ll never be lost again.  Bruce looks at the images of death and destruction on the TV screen.

 We then open on Selina walking tentatively into Sirens, looking for Barbara.  Selina, of course, is someone else Bruce should really care about and want to protect, a grounding, balancing presence – but he’s fouled that up badly.

Tabitha tells her she’s gone, and not coming back, and asks Selina what she wants.  Selina’s not sure, but she’s,

‘Tired of just surviving. I want more.  Want to move up.  I figured this was a good place to start’

(An aside – it’s maybe a nod to all that time ago, when Ivy and Selina stayed at Barbara’s, and Barbara tried to offer Selina some advice)

Tabitha’s interested – she’s at a crossroads herself.  She asks Selina if she’s hungry.  Selina asks if she’s buying.  They both grin.  Selina spots Tabitha’s whip.  Tabitha tells her to give it a go – and Selina hits the target first time. Tabitha is wide-eyed, and Selina smiles.

(An aside – bluntly, Selina deserves a good time.  She’s had a dreadful time this season, and – despite this - still managed to get herself to the hospital to check on Alfred, only to receive some completely unjustified insults.  Even if Bruce grovels after learning the truth from Alfred – that Selina nearly died trying to let Alfred know he had been kidnapped – she’s no real reason to forgive him.  He believed the absolute worst of her, despite all the evidence to the contrary.)

Oswald and Ivy. Sweet. Something has survived the carnage.  He’s proudly pointing out the logo for the new club.  Ivy tilts her head.

What we going to call it?

(An aside - Oswald doesn’t correct the ‘we’.)

The Iceberg Lounge.

Ivy smiles. Clever, because your name is Penguin.

Oswald smiles and nods – yes, there's that.  And then there’s the centrepiece attraction.

(An aside – it’s notable how relaxed, and assured and seemingly happy Oswald seems here.  His smile is genuine.  His movements aren’t manic.  There’s a calm to him.)

Jim arrives at Lee's home to find a letter on the table.  Lee narrates. 

She’s left town because she finally understands the city – where only the strongest and most cunning rule (we see Oswald looking at his centrepiece – Ed, encased in ice).

(An aside – that’s how everywhere works, Lee.)

‘The cost of survival is paid by others’

(An aside – we still see Ed on-screen here – but I don’t think many are likely to feel sorry for Ed here, which undermines Lee’s words a little)

‘Everyone feels alone’

(But we see Tabitha and Selina, who have found companionship in their loneliness).

She saw the city as it truly was, and she saw herself how she truly was.  Reborn

(We see Butch – whose real name is apparently Cyrus Gold, which is a comic thing I don’t get).

But the cure reminds us that there is always hope for who we can be, rather than who we were.  Lee doesn’t know if the city deserves saving – but if anyone can save it, and himself in the process, it’s Jim.

She closes by saying that maybe one day he’ll make his way back to her, but - until then – she sends her love always.   Gee. All the collateral damage, the bullets Mario and Valerie took respectively to their skull and gut, all totally worth it to get to the deeply moving conclusion of this soulful relationship.

(An aside – Lee’s left town because she can’t bear what Gotham’s really like?  I suppose there’s the implication in the letter that she wants to move on and change but…I don’t know.  This just feels like a damp squib.)

GCPD.  

Can I come in, Captain?

No - you threw me against the train car – twice.  I felt like a freaking cartoon.

Jim apologises.  You better have a few more of those to dish out, blondie, sincere and grovelling ones before you and I will be on good terms again.

Lee’s left town again. Jim will apparently be OK.  Harvey asks if he wants a drink.  Jim points out it’s noon, and Harvey points out he didn’t ask the time.  Jim asks if there’s word on Tetch.  You might want to sound just the slightest bit repentant, there, Jim – you slit his throat and left him for dead. Harvey says he’s apparently been patched up in a hospital and is safely back in Arkham.

(An aside: There - right there - is the crux of the problem with Jim.  He'll apologise to Harvey - because Harvey is 'good' and deserves an apology.  Jervis deserves an apology too, awful though he is, but I doubt he'll ever get it, because Jim sees him as a 'bad' person.  This self-righteousness is now even less tolerable, given that Jim is now aware that he apparently has his own deep dark desire to murder everyone he meets, and that Lee, his angel at the hearth, is drawn to darkness and violence.)

Jim feels like doing some honest detective work after all the craziness.  Harvey suggests they hit the streets like beat cops and stir up some trouble.  Jim snarks that’s maybe beneath him now – him being the best cop Harvey’s ever worked with and all.  They banter their way out.

A city street. A family walking home is threated by a mugger.  A masked figure appears from nowhere, beats the mugger and runs.  We look upwards to the rooftops to see the figure take off his mask and gaze out over the city.  It’s Bruce, finally on his path.

Some random observations.

Jim and Bruce were paralleled this week.  Bruce under the conditioning of the sensei, Jim in the grips of the virus.  They both do a Very Bad Thing while not in their right minds, and murder proxy parent figures: Bruce kills his own, Jim kills Oswald’s.  They both regain clarity and remorse the moment the act is carried out.  The main difference here is that Bruce gets to take it back.  Jim can’t.

If I have an overall quibble – it’s that, well, brainwashing and crazy viruses are a little…. cheap, as plot devices.  If the only way you can envisage your character doing something is because someone has – to all intents and purposes – cast a magic spell on them, then maybe that’d because that action is wildly ooc?

I’ve commented in the recap for the previous episode that I find Jim’s response to the virus to be absurd.

I felt the Jim and Lee plot fizzled badly.  Lee felt relatively removed from the storyline in these episodes after being so important last week, and to hint at a battle with Barbara and then not deliver was an…. odd choice.  Plus – and I accept this is entirely subjective – Jim and Lee’s relationship lacks the emotional resonance to carry a substantial part of the plot.  Bruce and Alfred, Oswald and Fish, Bruce and Selina, Barbara and Tabitha, Butch and Tabitha… any one of these packed more emotional punch here than Jim and Lee.  I’m supposed to care, because they’re the ‘grand romance’ – but it’s always felt perfunctory, and it looked particularly shallow here.

On top of that, when you’ve infected them – and simply made Lee obsessive about Jim (because that’s essentially what they narrowed her darkness fascination to in this episode), and made Jim a violent jerk – well, where’s my emotional investment in either of them?  You’ve just reminded me of their worst qualities.  I’m barely invested in their tepid sane relationship, why should I care about this one?

So, where do we leave everyone?

 Alfred - ties strengthened with Bruce.  Should probably have to deal with psychological fallout, but we won't see it.

Barbara - electrocuted, no allies left, presumably about to become Harley

Barnes - on the loose, after Jim - but apparently not for the last two episodes, where he went to a spa or something, or did a Netflix binge.  Who knows.

Bruce - has found his sense of mission. Ties strengthened with Alfred. Insulted Selina. Should presumably want to apologise after Alfred tells him Selina almost died trying to warn him about the clone - but who knows if the show will remember that.

Butch - Injured, presumably about to become some notable character

Ed - literally on ice. Should be chastened when he comes out, but possibly after revenge on Oswald

Harvey - Captain. Still Jim's ally, but with the vague feeling that some day he's not going to go along with one of Jim's plans.

Ivy - now part of a family: Oswald, Bridget and Victor.  Particularly close and loyal to Oswald.  Presumably still has ties with Selina, although might be strained after Selina gave Oswald up to Ed and co.

Jervis - back in Arkham, presumably harbouring an even bigger grudge against Jim

Jim - I have literally no fucking clue.Theoretically, he should be reeling with the impact of finding out about his father, and witnessing his uncle's suicide.  He should be taking a long, hard look at himself after his bullshit deep and meaningful 'killer' revelation.  He should be processing the end of his relationship.  He should be dealing with the emotional and practical consequences of what he did when infected - on both himself and others.  I suspect I will see none of this.  He's got a letter from Lee telling him he's the man to save the city, despite ample proof to the contrary.  It also talks about him saving himself - but I'm never given any extended opportunity to find out what Jim thinks about himself, and his behaviour and attitude both vacillate wildly week to week depending on what the storyline needs him to do.  I don't know where we go with him from here.

Lee - left town, didn't sound like coming back soon, presumably reflecting on what she discovered about herself and her secret fascination with darkness.

Lucius - still at GCPD. Tied closely to Harvey.  Might be interested in Ed's welfare.

Oswald - presumably grieving for Fish, but otherwise doing very well.  A number of old wrongs addressed, new club planned, family structure of sorts, especially close to Ivy, and a renewed sense of himself and his abilities.  He should theoretically be alienated from Jim - but how he'll weigh the virus in his actions remains to be seen - we've seen Oswald be inexplicably forgiving on this front before without any convenient excuses.

Selina - alienated from Bruce. Is tired of simply surviving between being roped into Bruce's missions. Wants more, and is willing to learn from Tabitha, with whom she seems to have found some companionship. Presumably still has ties with Ivy, who saved her life.

Tabitha - association with Butch and Barbara over - unwillingly in Butch's case, willingly in Barbara's. Has new sense of purpose in acting as a mentor to Selina.

Thoughts?

#gotham commentary #gotham s3e22 #heavydirtysoul

[im-a-human-salt-shaker]

I??? Don’t??? Understand this dipshit moron fucking dumbass stupid fuckhead bitchface dumb shit??????????????

I tell him I’m lonely so he takes the opportunity to pounce, I agree to date him, tell him in the morning that I wasn’t comfortable with how that happened and that I want time to think because literally my entire family knows & hates him, and he’s done some shitty things to me before.

He says he’ll give me time to think. He doesn’t. He harasses me about it ceaselessly, we can’t even have a nice conversation without him nagging me, he even pesters me assuming (incorrectly) that the songs I post in my Snapchat story are about him. I correct him, he harasses me more, and I remember he screenshotted a selfie I sent him on Snapchat. I ask him to delete it, he gives me attitude. He harasses me more and I tell him that I can’t deal with that right now and I’m going to hang out with my friend Zac. Again with the attitude.

He ignores me for LITERAL DAYS because I chose to talk to my friend Zac instead of talking to him, which tbh was fine because he finally SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME THINK and then he texts me out of nowhere at almost 10pm “hope you’re well.”

I ignore it. The following morning he snaps me a video of him apparently at a party captioned “all these people and I’m still lonely ):” ok do you want a fucking medal??? Really??? Don’t talk to me for days and then come crying to me about being lonely??

I never said he couldn’t talk to me, I said I wasn’t ready to sit down and have a serious conversation about wether or not I was ready to fucking date him.

Then, as per his usual cop out, i went to him and he ignored me, and then was all “I just don’t know what to say I have some things going on blah blah” and then is like “you’re not ok” and I’m?? BITCH IM FINE

The only thing that wasn’t okay was you not fucking respecting what I was saying and ceaselessly fucking harassing me you dickhead.

So I explained to him: I hadn’t had a day off work in 9 days, was tired and exhausted and by the time I got home from work I was tired and cranky, and I didn’t think it would be fair to either of us to have an important conversation while either A) I was cranky, or B) it was in a rush before I went to work. On top of that, he didn’t give me time to think. There’s things other than my family that could cause problems down the line, an example of such being his “I don’t want to date a walking canvas” comment.

Apparently he’s so stupid he thinks he has a say on what I do with my body & any control whatsoever.

So he reads it and ignores me, and then when I call him out says “I’m at work and I’m having an anxiety attack”. Sure Jan. Listen, I’m not one to discredit people’s anxiety, lord knows people do it to me all the time. But when this particular guy does it? He’s bullshitting. That’s always his go-to excuse to try to make me back off when I’m upset with him, because apparently having anxiety means people can’t be upset with you. Trust me, I’ve known him for 7 years, he’s being a liar and a manipulative piece of crap.

So he’s bullshitting me, just because he’s too much of a pussy to have the conversation HE wanted to have in the first fucking place.

So fucking annoying. God, he’s fucking stupid. Spend 7 years begging me to date you saying how good you’ll treat me and then when I finally agree you don’t respect my wishes or feelings and won’t even man up and fucking talk to me. Fucking pussy.

#negative #salt #saltily salts #me #drama

[datingadviceonreddit]

Ok now before i get into my rage induced rant i just want to clear some things off: 1 if this isnt allowed remove it, i just simply need to vent 2. I know this sub is for dating advice, but i have litterally nowhere else to vent to 3. I know the first thought you'll have after reading this is "no wonder girls dont like you", in otherwords, im not at all surprised that my attitude explains my bad luckHere it goes Why the fuck does every girl seem to just look at me like pond slime? Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to point out how single i am and treat me as less of a human being because i have never had a girlfriend? Why does almost every girl out there ignore me and not give me the time of day when i talk to them? Why does every guy i meet feel the need to bitch and whine openly despite having a girlfriend (the only people i vent about this issue to in person are my parents) ? Everyone just assumes im some emotionless arrogant prick, they see me and think "ew why does that walking text to speech application exist". Why does everyone just look at and assume i want nothing to do with anyone simply because i lack social skills? Why is it that when i ACTUALLY TRY TO IMPROVE MYSELF nothing happens at all? Everytime i step out of my shell and try to be social people give me weird looks. And most of all WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE SUGARCOAT EVERYTHING? I swear i see the same shit being preached "oh we are friendly" "oh girls wont be mean" "oh be yourself" "oh just act natural" "everybody is acceptful" "oh girls dont mind being approached" "looks dont matter" (if lying were punishable by death more than half the human population would go extinct) I can tell you from personal experience (ex: saying hi to a group of girls and getting laughed at) that this is a load of horseshit, litterally everytime i see or hear someone preaching that they dont care about cliques i want to slap them up down and backwards. Cliques exist, and as much as we like to sugarcoat everything and say that we are friendly, we arent, i have tried to fit in with multiple types of people and i just get excluded. Most advice i hear is also the same repeated bullshit "oh you'll find someone" "oh just hit the gym" "banter with the girls" "dont be too nice" "fake it till you make it" (this one pisses me off the most) i have tried all this advice and none of it fucking works. Another thing that really pisses me off is that everyone assumes i only want a girlfriend for the sex and status. Um if that were the case ID HIRE A FUCKING PROSTITUTE WOULDNT I? believe me when i say that i feel so lonely and unloveable.i dont want a girlfriend just for the status, i want to feel loved, i want to feel like i matter to someone, i want to feel like i am capable of making someone feel special, but nope Everyone just sees me as some emotionless robot. Nobody ever stops and thinks "hmm maybe that weird white kid just wants some appreciation and love and care?". Everyone just assumes i am some weird reserved kid, and when i try to prove them wrong by being social with them i just get shit on. I get told im good looking by people outside of my family, but i dont see it for shit. I never get looked at, girls never talk with me, and i never get the flirting signals, while all other guys do. Girls think im pondslime, and no ammount of self esteem and ego boost can fix that, whatever i tried didnt work. At the same time i try not to be resentfull of women, its not their fault that they like who they like. They have the freedom to chose who they want, i shouldnt be developing such a hatred for girls simply because of their preferences, but ... At the same time i cant just blame myself and beat myself up all the time, since i havent listed my flaws i'll list them Shy, ugly, socially disabled, never had a female friend, way too left brained (or whichever one is the logical and less artsy one), i suck at lying and faking genuine feelings, i have an ugly voice, i dont know how to flirt, i lack conversation skills, the list goes on and on. It frustrates me so much how misunderstood and lonely i am. Everyone thinks i have no emotions, all cause of my boring ugly voice. Everyone thinks i hate society and want to be left alone, all i want is to feel appreciated and loved and valued. I want to know what its like to feel loved by a girl outside of my family. Also, i am 16 so before you guys start saying "blah blah you have time blah blah", im sure the real life 30 and 40 year old virfins were told the SAME FUCKING THING when they were my age, so dont even pull the "you are young you have time" bullshitAnyways, i just needed to vent, take it down if you must, maybe some of you can relate, who knows. Also i know alot you will say "seems like your mind is made up" i didnt ask for advice, i just wanted to vent via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit