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alwaysmicado · 7 months

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Trouble

5.3k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 5

Warnings: no outbreak AU, implied age gap, D/s dynamic, rough oral (m receiving), spitting, cum eating, leg humping, degradation/praise, humiliation kink, pet names, aftercare, feelings Summary: After you’ve distracted Joel from work with your explicit texts all day, he decides to teach you a lesson. A/N: Consensual degradation & humiliation – my beloved. This one's for you if you're into unadulterated filth with feelings sprinkled on top hehe. Let me know what you think, I love hearing your thots! 🤍

pt. 1 ・ pt. 2 ・ pt. 3 ・ pt. 4 ・ series masterlist

“You sure you got nothing else to say to me?”

“I’m—sorry?”

“No,” he tilts his head and you see the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “But you will be when I’m done with you.”

---

“Sneaking out for a hot date?”

Busted.

You sigh and turn around to face Kristen’s triumphant grin. Beautiful Kristen. The only person at your job with a bearable personality.

If you only had Janice from accounting and her incessant yapping about her feral kids, or John from HR and his never-ending tirades against “modern women”, you probably would have burnt down the building already.

Kristen’s been your lifeline over the past two years at this job. She’s upbeat, fun, a gifted painter and the closest thing to a female friend you have.

Her only flaw: she’s so nosy it’s not even funny.

After your get-well-fuck with Joel three days ago where he left multiple marks on your neck, you not only plastered a bunch of foundation over the purple reminders of his fever-fueled nipping, you also wore a silk scarf which, in hindsight, was a dumb idea.

The first thing you were welcomed with when you came in that morning was an enthusiastic “You go, girl!” followed by giggling after Kristen saw your unimpressed face.

You shoot her a half-hearted smile and raise an eyebrow. “Who says it’s a date?”

Kristen’s grin widens. “Oh, come on! You think I don’t notice the way you giggle at your phone like a lovesick idiot?”

“Oh, shut up,” you protest in mock offense. What the hell is she talking about? You don’t do that. “I got a doctor’s appointment. Nothing hot about that,” you say nonchalantly.

Kristen leans in, lowering her voice dramatically. “A doctor, huh? Do you have an ache only he can cure with his special tool?”

“You’re a pervert, you know that?”

“Yeah, duh. That’s why you love me,” she chuckles, causing the corners of your own lips to twitch.

“Well,” she smirks, “I hope the doctor will take the best care of you.”

You roll your eyes at her teasing, grab your bag and blow her a kiss before heading out. You leave the office with a grin, reveling in the sunshine that greets you when you step out.

The warmth of the day feels refreshing against your skin as you stroll to the parking lot. Your dress, despite being a result of prolonged laundry procrastination, is surprisingly comfortable, allowing you to appreciate the light breeze that rustles its fabric.

The sun casts a golden hue on the cityscape and you can't help but smile at the small pleasures of life – the sun on your face, a staff meeting getting canceled earlier, finding twenty bucks in an old pair of jeans this morning.

Life is okay at the moment.

Despite work kicking your ass, your mother trying to guilt-trip you into coming “home” and the last hookup you had throwing you out in the middle of the goddamn night because his wife came home from her business trip early.

You’re feeling good.

One might even say you’re happy.

If only there wasn’t this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You take a deep breath and straighten your shoulders when you see your Uber pull up. Get yourself together.

The car winds through the city streets, and as you give Joel's address to the driver, you can't help but feel a flutter of anticipation. The engine hums softly as you navigate the familiar turns, presenting the perfect background to lose yourself in a daydream.

As you settle into the comfort of your bed, the world outside fades away. In the gentle embrace of your imagination, you feel a figure appear behind you. Their warmth is a soothing balm, and as they pull you close, a profound sense of security envelops you. The weight of the world, of your being lifts, replaced by the tender reassurance of this ethereal embrace.

In this imagined sanctuary, sleep finds you easily, cradled in the arms of solace. The whispered promise of warmth and safety lingers, allowing dreams to unfold like petals, undisturbed and serene in the soft glow of moonlight.

The notification sound of your phone pulls you back to reality. Glancing at the screen, you see Joel's name. You open the message and involuntarily press your thighs together, your pulse quickening instantly.

Door’s open. Get naked, then come upstairs.You’re in real trouble, angel.

---

The familiar scent of Joel’s home greets you when you step inside. It smells more like home than your apartment or any other place you’ve lived in since you were a child. Safe, warm, comforting – like its owner. And it’s a surprisingly well-decorated and welcoming home for a bachelor.

So much so that you asked him flat out if he had a wife on your first night together.

You take your shoes off and put your bag on the couch in the living room before heading to the downstairs bathroom to wash your hands and quickly check if you look presentable. Your eyes are a bit swollen from lack of restful sleep, but other than that, you’re good to go.

As you take your dress, bra and panties off, you somewhat fondly remember the last time Joel ordered you to his home because you were sending him filthy texts and photos while you both were at work.

You spent thirty minutes sitting still on his lap while he worked on his computer, his throbbing cock buried deep inside you. Every time he would shift in his chair a little, you would whimper into the crook of his neck and he would whisper into your ear how well you were doing for him and draw soothing circles on your back with his palm.

You hated and loved every torturous second of it.

The office door is open when you come upstairs. Your eyes widen when you see Joel sitting at his desk. It’s incredible how handsome he looks. He’s wearing a black t-shirt, blue gym shorts and his glasses as he’s staring at the computer and typing something with his index fingers.

Your heart starts beating faster as you take him in, the domesticity of this scene giving you an unexpectedly warm feeling deep within you.

“You just gonna stand there and stare at me?” Joel asks with a swivel of his chair, his body now facing yours. He saw you out of the corner of his eye before but now that he’s getting a good look at you, his jaw almost hits the floor.

He will never get used to seeing you naked.

“God, you’re so much more beautiful in real life,” he murmurs, his pupils blown wide and the admiration in his voice unmistakable.

You give him a satisfied smile as you lean against the doorframe. “I sure hope so,” you tease.

“Do you know why you’re here, darlin’?” Joel asks with a tilt of his head, his brow slightly furrowed.

“I’m assuming it has something to do with the silly little texts and pics I sent you to brighten up your day,” you say, feigning innocence. “Did you like them?”

“You really think now’s the time to be a brat, huh?” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Alright, then.” His eyes sparkle dangerously as he sits back in his chair and spreads his legs wider.

“You sure you got nothing else to say to me?”

“I’m—sorry?”

“No,” he tilts his head and you see the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “But you will be when I’m done with you.”

You bite your lip as your eyes focus on the visible bulge in Joel’s shorts, and try to suppress the huge grin that’s threatening to spread across your face. This is exactly what you wanted and you both know it.

“Hands and knees, baby,” Joel orders calmly and puts his hands on his thighs. “C’mere.”

You lower yourself on all fours without hesitation and crawl towards him slowly, making sure to sway your hips and never break eye contact. Joel’s the only person you’d put yourself in such a submissive position for and you revel in the exhilarating feeling it gives you.

Joel keeps his eyes trained on you, subtly rubbing his thighs as you come closer to where he’s needed you all day. His eyes are dark and full of need as he licks his lips and follows the mesmerizing movement of your body. He likes how you, despite your brattiness, know perfectly well where your place is.

“Look at what you did,” he says, once you’re kneeling on all fours between his spread legs. He palms his throbbing cock over the fabric and your eyes widen a little, your pussy clenching around nothing.

“That's right, baby, you did this. And now you need to take responsibility for your actions.” He gently caresses your cheek, tracing your lips with his thumb.

When he presses on your lower lip, you instinctively open your mouth enough for his finger to slip inside. He presses on your tongue, admiring the feeling and your willingness to submit.

“Look at you,” he chuckles, gently rubbing his cock. “Such a little slut, always wants something in her mouth.”

He moves his thumb further along your tongue, causing you to furrow your brow and gag a little. “You couldn't help yourself, huh, just had to put on a show all day like the needy whore you are.”

He takes his thumb out of your mouth and pulls his shorts all the way down, letting them fall on the floor next to his chair. His heavy cock flops against his lower belly, causing you to swallow and part your lips instinctively. Joel smirks at your reaction, enjoying the raw need sparkling in your eyes as he strokes himself slowly.

You start squirming, pressing your thighs together to alleviate at least some of the uncomfortable ache between your legs, and let out an almost inaudible whine as Joel continuously strokes up and down his length while looking at you curiously.

He leans in and tilts your chin up, his dark eyes boring into you.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” He asks softly, feigning concern. He looks from you to his cock and back, raising an eyebrow. “All of this just because you’re a pathetic little cockslut with nothing else in her dumb little head than my cock. Isn’t that right, angel?”

You nod slowly, your lips slightly parted, hypnotized by Joel’s big eyes and filthy words.

“Use your words, slut,” he growls, gripping the back of your neck to tilt your head up even more.

“I just—wanted you so bad, I–”

“Aww, of course you did,” he teases you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Tell me your safeword, angel.”

He looks into your eyes intently as you say it out loud, then puts a soft kiss on your lips. You whimper when he withdraws, the feeling of his warm lips lingering.

“Open up,” he orders with a tap of his fingers to your bottom lip. “Stick your tongue out for me.”

You obey and do as he says, looking into his eyes expectantly. You watch in awe and pure need as the thick glob of saliva makes its way down from Joel’s mouth and lands on the back of your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as you feel it run down your throat.

“Swallow.” He gently puts a strand of hair behind your ear as you show him your empty mouth. “Good girl.”

You moan softly at his praise and furrow your brow when your eyes find his cock again.

“You really want it, huh,” Joel purrs, trailing your neck and chest gently with his hands. When he brushes your nipples, you wince a little, eliciting a low chuckle from him. “Spread your legs, baby. Let me see your little pussy.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, his cock twitching impatiently when you sit back on your heels and present your glistening folds.

“Fuck me,” he murmurs, tracing your belly all the way down to your mound and stopping right before touching your clit. “Must’ve been uncomfortable to sit in that all day, hm?”

He gently pulls your lips apart with his thumbs and index fingers, inspecting you closely. “Your little clit is so swollen, baby, does it hurt?”

“Mhm,” you whine, his touch so close to your neglected bundle of nerves torturing you beyond belief. “It–it hurts so bad, Sir.”

“Hmm,” he searches your eyes, “and that’s why you thought it was a good idea to send me all those naughty messages?” He spreads your lips apart further, eliciting a long moan from you. “You thought I’d fuck you if you did?”

“Y–yes,” you stammer, your legs trembling, “I’m sor–”

You’re cut off when Joel lets go of your lips and swipes his fingers through your dripping wet folds agonizingly slowly, once, twice, three times, barely brushing your pulsating clit.

Listening to the noises you make and feeling your hot cunt on his hand is enough to make him almost come, despite his cock not having any contact at the moment. His eyes never leave yours as you whimper desperately, his barely there touch enough to build your long overdue orgasm.

“Go on, angel,” he withdraws his hand and holds his hand up to your lips, “clean up the mess you made.”

He pushes his wet fingers into your mouth, forcing you to suck your own juices off of him. You do so eagerly, sucking and licking his fingers, moaning around them.

“You would’ve sucked my cock in front of everyone if I had let you, huh.” You let out a desperate moan, feeling your pussy get wetter at the thought. “That’s right, baby,” Joel chuckles. “Show everyone you’re my little cockslut.”

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, satisfied with the job you did, then grabs your chin hard, his wet fingers pressing into your hot cheeks.

“You want it so bad, baby? Then beg for it.”

“Please,” you whine. “Please let me suck your cock, please, I–I want your cock so bad—”

“All yours, baby.”

He leans back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head, looking at you through lidded eyes.

“Fuuuck, that’s it,” Joel groans as you start licking and sucking at his balls, then lightly trace the veins of his cock with your warm tongue, swirling it around the tip, licking up the salty precum. You look at him expectantly as you lick up and down his length, fondling his balls with your hand.

He smiles at the needy look in your eyes, finding it unbelievably hot that you want to, need to hear his praise so badly even though it’s obvious that everything you do to him is and feels beyond perfect.

“Good girl,” he says softly, eliciting a little whimper from you. “Now stop teasing and take it.”

You immediately hold him up by the base and take the tip into your mouth, sucking on it eagerly. You take him further, inch by inch, bobbing your head up and down his shaft until he’s nudging the back of your throat. Your eyes well over with tears as you gag around his cock. Joel groans in response, his whole body tensing as he tangles his hands in your hair.

You make a surprised sound when he leans over you and pushes your head down until your nose is rubbing his pubic hair, giving you no chance to move your head. He keeps his length buried deep inside you for a few seconds before pulling you up, a thick string of saliva mixed with precum connecting you two, only to push you right back down.

“Fuck, I love the sounds you make,” Joel pants as you choke and whine loudly.

He pulls your head back up to let you catch your breath and make sure you’re enjoying yourself as much as he is. He knows from the look in your eyes that you are, but he wants to make sure before you continue.

“What’s your color, angel?”

You look at him with bleary eyes, but give him a dazed smile and whisper, “Green.”

Joel nods and caresses your wet cheeks, wiping away some of your tears with his thumbs.

He traces your swollen lips with the head of his cock, loving the way his precum sticks to them.

“Breathe through your nose, baby,” he pants. “Can’t have you passing out on me.”

You wrap your lips around his head, swirl your tongue around it, then bob your head again – messily, sloppily, just the way he likes it.

“Good girl,” he breathes, thrusting his hips to slide in and out of your mouth, smiling at you and petting your hair. “Such a perfect little fleshlight.”

You tremble and moan around him, not entirely sure if his filthy mouth, his groaning, or the fact that he’s using you for his pleasure is turning you on the most. You just know you love it when he holds your head steady and fucks your mouth roughly, taking what he wants from you, making you gag and choke, saliva and tears running down your cheeks, chin, neck, and body.

You look like a masterpiece.

“I’m close, baby,” Joel pants, your perfect, wet mouth and the admiration he sees in your big, wet eyes making him tremble every time he thrusts his hips into you. You push him right over the edge when you squeeze his balls hard.

He comes with a strangled groan, shooting rope after rope of warm cum down your throat and onto your tongue. You welcome it with eager moans, so far gone that you don’t realize what you’re doing until after it’s too late — you swallow it all without his permission.

Fatal mistake.

Joel grabs you by your hair, pulling you off his pulsating cock, still breathing heavily.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?”

Your eyes widen in shock, your lip quivering. “I–I'm sorry, I–I forgot.”

“You forgot?” Joel sighs and raises his eyebrows. He loosens his grip in your hair and looks at your eyes welling up with tears. You stumble over your words as you keep apologizing over and over again. You’re so perfect like this.

“What’s your color, baby?”

“Green, Sir,” you sniffle. “It’s green.”

“Now what am I supposed to do with a fleshlight that doesn’t work right, hm?” He tilts your chin up and rubs it softly with his thumb. “Do you think you deserve to get fucked?”

“I’m—please, I'll be good, I promise,” you choke out through tears and hiccups. “Please, I’ll do anything you want, just please—”

Joel smirks and leans back in his chair. “No need to tell me that, angel. I know you’ll do anything.” He lifts his foot between your thighs, eliciting a small, needy noise from you when he presses it against your swollen cunt.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. All from being used, hm?”

“Yes, Sir,” you whine, wiping your cheeks and trying your hardest to stay still. “Thank you.”

“Such a pathetic little slut.” He rubs his foot against your folds, and you moan, closing your eyes, your lips trembling, your face hot from embarrassment and arousal. Joel presses harder and you cry out, your hips jerking instinctively.

“Pathetic enough to hump my leg?”

He snorts when he sees the stunned look on your face. You are definitely startled, but you don't protest. Joel can see a mix of hesitation and need in your eyes, and he understands that he needs to push you.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” he says, gently petting your hair, “so you better thank me for letting you come at all.”

He sighs and pulls your head back by your hair when you don’t answer fast enough.

“Use your words, slut.”

“Th–thank you,” you whimper. “I–I just–” You trail off, too shocked and embarrassed to finish your sentence, your voice trembling as you babble unintelligibly.

You hear Joel say your name and feel him cup your cheeks. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

You sniffle and try to focus on his eyes. “Tell me your color,” he says gently, his deep voice soothing your nerves.

“Still green,” you breathe, swallowing hard.

He searches your eyes and nods before sitting back up and extending his leg a little.

“Go on, then.”

You look at the satisfied smirk on his face before taking a deep breath and scooting forward, adjusting yourself against Joel’s leg. Gripping Joel’s thigh for balance, you tilt your hips forward until your clit makes contact with his hairy leg. You shudder at the feeling, a needy little moan escaping your lips.

Joel’s pupils are so blown, his eyes are completely black now.

You slowly drag your hips upward and duck your head, embarrassed that you’re actually enjoying this – and that you’re this wet. After slowly rocking your hips up and down a few times, you can’t keep yourself from moaning anymore. It feels to fucking good.

You shift a little and allow yourself to set a pace that will make you come. You nuzzle your face against Joel’s thigh and don’t hold back anymore, rutting against his leg with abandon, chasing your release.

“That’s it, angel,” Joel purrs, gently brushing a wet strand of hair out of your face. “You’re doing so well for me.”

You rock your hips against his leg over and over again, your brows furrowed, whimpering desperately as you grind your wet folds against Joel’s leg, the friction causing your whole body to shudder.

Joel fucking loves seeing you like this; pliant, obedient, wanting to be good so badly that you’d do anything to please him. Most of all, though, he loves how much you trust him.

“You’re such a good girl,” he praises, tilting your chin up to look into your glazed over eyes. “My good girl.”

You moan at his words, your fingers digging into the flesh of his thighs, your hips jerking frantically, desperate for release. Joel smiles softly at your reaction, reveling in the fact that he's ruining you for anyone else.

He fucking delights in it.

“That’s right, angel. Keep looking at me with those beautiful eyes.”

You barely hear what he says as your breathing comes out in noisy, deep gasps, too far gone, too overwhelmed to feel embarrassed at fucking yourself on Joel’s leg. There are no thoughts left in your brain, your only focus now is chasing your climax.

“Feels good, huh? Such a spoiled brat, aren’t you,” he taunts, marveling at your blissed out expression and the sheen of sweat glistening on your naked body.

“You think you deserve to come, hm? Even though you’re just a dumb little whore, only good for taking my cock in all her holes?”

That’s almost enough right there to tip you over the edge.

“Tell me what you are.”

You let out a choked sob, fresh tears making their way down your cheeks. Joel wipes them away with his thumbs as you stutter, “I’m–I’m your dumb little whore, Sir. I’m all yours — please, please–”

He gives you a warm smile as his dark eyes bore into. “Come for me, angel.”

You press your throbbing clit hard against him, humping his leg feverishly until the tension finally snaps and shockwaves grip your whole body, your legs trembling as you moan uncontrollably. Your walls contract around nothing as you collapse onto Joel’s thigh and start sobbing.

It’s all too much right now.

He immediately draws you into his strong arms, lifting you up and cradling you. “Shh, sweetheart,” he purrs, holding you tight and stroking your hair, “you did so well. Are you alright, hm? You want me to go get you a towel?”

Your eyes widen at the suggestion of him leaving you, causing you to shake your head fervently, your tears flowing freely now as you gradually come down from your high.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby” he coos, putting soft kisses on the top of your head and rubbing soothing circles on your back. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You're still naked and Joel wants you to feel comfortable and warm, so he swivels you two towards the couch to snag the blanket and drape it over you. He holds you close, whispering into your hair how well you did and how good you are, intermittently pressing soft kisses on your wet face.

You feel the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath, a comforting rhythm that wraps around you like a protective cocoon. The warmth emanating from his body seeps into yours, making you feel calm and protected.

Joel’s not surprised that you need physical affection and closeness right now, knowing that humiliation is one of the most effective ways to make you fly – and crash.

Falling apart in front of somebody, allowing them to see you in such a raw, uninhibited state, is an incredibly vulnerable act.

Joel is not taking your trust lightly.

When he sees you wipe your nose with your arm, he swivels you back to his desk and opens the drawer to get you some tissues. Your heart skips a beat when you see what else is inside, but you keep quiet.

“Was I really good?” You mumble after listening to Joel’s calming heartbeat for a few minutes.

“You were perfect, baby,” he says softly, pressing a tender kiss on the crown of your head.

“So, can you fuck me now?”

The vibrations of Joel’s chuckles reverberate beneath you, making you laugh yourself.

“How about we make sure you drink enough and eat something first, hm?”

“Just say that your refractory period is getting longer, old man.”

“Why, hello,” he laughs and pinches your sides, making you squeal, “the princess is back.” You lift your head to look into his eyes. His beautiful, warm eyes. “You think I’ll fuck you if you keep being a brat, hm?”

“That’s exactly what I think. Because you always do. Because you love it.”

“Wow,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “All this just now and you’re still sassing me?”

“Just admit you fucking love it, so we can move on and decide what we wanna have for dinner,” you murmur.

Joel can’t hold back the beaming smile that’s spreading across his face.

Save for last time, you usually leave shortly after you’ve come down. He’ll sometimes ask if you want to stay a bit, but will never pressure you into doing so – even if it hurts him.

And it does, sometimes, if he’s being honest.

“Alright, alright,” he sighs deeply, his smile betraying his mocking tone. “I fucking love it when you’re a little brat and torture me all fucking day, making me sit in a fucking meeting for hours on end with a hard cock, listening to some rich fucks who want me to build some bullshit building for them.”

You giggle at the description of his day and kiss his dimple. “I really am sorry, you know.”

“No you’re not,” he shakes his head. “Now, what are you in the mood for?”

“Can we, um, can we go eat the fattiest, unhealthiest junk food ever and then wash it down with huge cups of pure sugar, so we’re both gonna have a stomach ache for the next three days?”

“Have I ever told you you’re perfect before?”

---

You step out of the shower, dry off, wash your face with Joel’s face wash and drink a glass of water. Joel put your bag outside the door when you were in the shower, giving you space to do your thing and going downstairs to take a shower there himself.

You’re kind of tired now, feeling a little burnt out.

You put on your panties and retrieve the comfy gym shorts you were smart enough to bring with you from your bag. They’re the only other clean piece of clothing besides the dress you could find in your drawer this morning.

“Joel?” You shout from the top of the stairs.

“Yeah?”

“Can I borrow a t-shirt?”

“Sure, darlin’. Just grab one you like.”

“Thank you.”

You smile and make your way to Joel’s bedroom. Opening the drawer, your eyes fall on a white shirt you’ve seen him wear many times. Don’t do it. You sigh defeatedly and lift the shirt up to your face, inhaling the unmistakable scent.

Then you suddenly remember it. Fuck. You need to make sure.

You put on the shirt and quickly walk to the office. Taking a deep breath and making sure Joel’s not watching you snoop through his things, you open the drawer.

The polaroid feels strange in your hand as you lift it to take a closer look.

It’s one of Tommy, you and Joel in it, from the night Tommy introduced you two. You don’t even remember taking this one, but now that you’re looking at it, you see something. It’s the way you’re smiling.

You turn the photo and read the handwritten note that catches your eye.

when I met her

You swallow hard and put it back. It doesn’t mean anything. You hung the other polaroid, the one of only you and Joel, up in your apartment and that doesn’t mean anything either—right?

“Babe?” Joel’s voice pulls you back.

You turn around and look at him, startled. “I, uh, was just looking for some batteries. Couldn’t find any though.”

“I got plenty downstairs,” he says with a tilt of his head. “Come on, let’s go.”

---

You’re sitting in a booth, munching on your burger, intermittently sipping your soda. You don’t even realize you haven’t answered Joel for the third time.

“Are you sure everything’s okay, sweetheart?” Joel touches your arm, his brow furrowed. You look at his concerned face, his cute little frown, before putting down your burger with a sigh.

“I, uh,” you start but can’t think of the right words. “I’m just feeling a little off these days, I guess. Work’s been stressful and, um, you–you’re gonna think I’m weird,” you murmur while picking at the fries on your plate.

“Darlin’,” Joel sighs, taking your hand into his, “you’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met.” He chuckles when he sees your offended face. “And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

He rubs the back of your hand softly and searches your eyes. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“It’s, um,” you clear your throat. “Do you ever get this feeling that there’s something looming?”

He tilts his head and looks at you curiously. “I’m not sure I follow, darlin’?”

“Like if you’re happy, do you ever feel like it’s not real, it can’t be real, and there’s something looming? Like there’s something just waiting to fuck everything up?”

When he doesn’t answer, you avert your gaze and try to withdraw your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m killing the vi–”

“No, sweetheart. Hey, c’mere.” He extends both of his hands to you on the table and you give him yours to hold. “I’m sorry, darlin’,” he murmurs, “your question just caught me off guard a little.”

You softly rub his hand with your right thumb and study his features. He looks gorgeous with his tousled hair and his big cow eyes.

“Look, I know that happiness is hard to accept sometimes because we’re afraid of it not lasting. It may even seem easier to sabotage it preemptively, so we’re not disappointed or don’t get hurt when something bad does happen. And I also know that we sometimes don’t think we even deserve to be happy.”

Bingo.

“But sweetheart, I need you to understand something,” he squeezes your hands gently, his sincere eyes boring into you.

“If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

You try your best to blink away the tears that are forming in your eyes.

---

Thank you for reading! 🤍 part 4 || part 6 || series masterlist

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dnpg-hiatus-survivor · 2 months

Text

my last reblog had me reminiscing on my early days in the phandom so i decided to compile a list of embarrassing dnp related things i did aged 11-15!

should i keep these to myself? probably. am i going to? absolutely not. here we go :)

1) i ran a dan and phil instagram fanpage and let all my irls follow it. when my friends would tag me on insta posts they would tag my phannie account

2) that account was called phans_special_snowflake

3) exclusively had dnp merch for school supplies. backpack. phone case. pencil case. everything.

4) when my english teacher asked what the d&p on my phonecase stood for, i confidently replied “dick and penis!”

5) i would watch dan and phil IN CLASS with no headphones

6) my spanish teacher asked me to send him a video so he could “see what dan and phil were all about”. i sent him I Nearly Blinded Myself as it was the most recent video at the time. he said it was “slightly inappropriate” and i had no idea what he meant

7) i wrote a persuasive essay on how dan and phil were secretly in love and in a gay relationship. i then read that essay in front of my entire class for a presentation grade. i got an A+ for both assignments.

8) i would tag dan and phil in EVERYTHING i posted

9) when i met dan and phil, i cried so hard that i walked away from them while dan was MID sentence trying to talk to me (phil said absolutely nothing to me. what a king)

i’m sure there are many many more things that i am missing but these are the ones that i remember most. honestly if i were to have a takeaway from all this, its that i LOVE my past self. i don’t actually believe in embarrassment or cringe. i was young and passionate and everyone knew it. are there things here that should make me cringe. yeah. definitely. but honestly, whats the point? i’ve grown up since then. why hate myself for what i didnt know? all i can do is laugh. and i mean come on… it’s so funny. 12 year old lydia the icon that you are. i was NOT afraid to be myself, and i feel like that has served me well. i’m really glad i grew up watching dan and phil. they’ve been great role models. especially as a young queer girl who was scared that she would never be able to find true love or happiness. so thank you to dan and phil for growing up with me! i’ve definitely come a long way :,)

#dan and phil #dnp #phan #dan and phil games #dan and phil crafts #amazingphil #danisnotonfire #daniel howell

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yall-hate-kids-tourney · 3 months

Text

Loser Round 4: Damian Wayne (DC) vs. Jason Todd (DC)

A rematch? It's so funny how the bracket turned out this way.

Propaganda under the cut.

Damian Wayne (9-14):

Damian is a kid who was raised as an assassin and because of that when he first appears he has some really messed up ideas of how to prove himself to his father by being aggressive with the criminals they capture and attacking his brother. Because of this people act like he is the most evil character ever and refuse to give him any grace. They make him out to be this awful irredeemable monster who just wants to kill his brother and hurt people. If the fandom isn’t making his out to be The Worst(tm) then they are ignoring his existence all-together. He is a really interesting character who has done some not so great things but he’s grown and learned a lot through various character arcs (as much of an arc as a comic book character can have) and he deserves to be acknowledged for himself and not just as a villain so that people can woobify his brother.

——

HES JUST A LITTLE BABY GUY!!!!! Little baby man raised as an assassin and learning how to be a real person <3. But because he was kind of a dick and also a little stabby early-on, especially to the fandom's main "so sad uwu depressed baby" blorbo (and also he's not white), people treat him like he's satan incarnate

Jason Todd (~12):

Most of the Tumblr fandom likes this guy but if you step outside this website then wham so many people say he got what he deserved as a kid and Batman can't be cool if he's a dad so it's important for Batman to trash-talk his dead child constantly so we can all agree what a bad idea it was. Also wanna highlight that a lot of the records we have from fans at the time were clear they disliked Robin for BEING a child. Like a lot of the little dude characters in this tournament are treated too harshly for making an ugly choice and the fans aren't being understanding or sympathetic that the choice is made by a child character who is immature and not developed and strong enough to make a good choice and stuff. But THIS little dude was specifically hated FOR being a child. People wanted tough loner guy Batman not Batdad and his little buddy. The first Robin would drive back from college and guest star sometimes and be advertised as the Teen Wonder and people were like yeah okay but then Batman actually starts being a single parent for a child with needs and people were like UGH not the BOY Wonder. Today pretty much everywhere you see Batman fans saying Batman is better solo, no kid, it's not realistic to have a kid, a kid shouldn't be in the movies blah. Even if the comics they always find a way to send away the new kid so that Batman never has to parent. So all the Robins are being excluded from the narrative but I think this one is THE symbol of Batman fans hating a child character just for being a child.

Robin, Jason Todd, THE hated child character. In the 1980s, Batman comics had become increasingly dark and gritty. According to editor O'Neil himself, the courted audience wasn't kids but 19-40 year old men with disposable income. Batman's child sidekick, Robin, was offensively campy and childish. Fans called him wimpy, annoying, dumb, bratty, etc. Also people complained that Batman acting like an affectionate dad was unmanly and gay. Robin acts violent and emotional and people are like "ew he's so childish and emotional"—and then Batman literally acts just as murderously and emotionally within literally the same exact story and people are like "wow he's so dark and tortured". So in 1988 (after brutalizing Batgirl to get rid of her for being too bright and nice and kid-friendly), DC held a paid poll for fans to vote for Robin to live or die. O'Neil claims he heard a fan (a grown man with a dayjob as a lawyer) programmed a phone to spam kill votes. One fanguy claimed that he sold his Mercedes to buy kill votes (probably an exaggeration but still). By less than 1% margin, the vote decided to kill Robin in a spectacularly violent way. Anyway the 1989 Batman movie brought in a huge wave of new child comicbook fans who liked the new Robin (a very cool teenage high school Robin with a driver's license and a girlfriend), and DC started a separate Robin-less Batman series called Legends of the Dark Knight to make the anti-Robin writers and fans happy. But to this day, many fans agree it was a good idea to kill off the other Robin so that his foolish death reminds other characters to never be childish and stupid again. Bonus: the current Robin (usually a traumatized 10-year-old) has also been facing some pretty loud hatred for over 15 years.

#yall hate kids tourney #loser round 4 #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #dc robin #batman comics #batman and robin #damian wayne #jason todd #cw child death

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 4 months

Text

Home Pt. 7 || cbf! Simon "Ghost" Riley

Rating: M Words: 1.9K Pairing: cbf!Simonxafab!reader / teen!Simonxteen!Reader Summary: Teen Simon and his best friend often spend their nights away from their respective houses because they found a home in each other… CW: vomitting. thoughts of hurting someone. Tags: you/your pronouns, time skip, heartbreak. a/n: not proofread. also, I lied. It's a triple-chapter sort of day.

[← Previous] || [Next →] || [MY MASTERLIST]

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Maybe it’s the heartbreak over you.

Or the lack of distractions in the shape of your countless 3, 4, 5-page letters, like you used to send during Basic and ITT.

But the fact of the matter is that Lance Corporal Riley dived headfirst into the job, taking out enemies with an efficiency and bravery many of his COs have never seen before.

Something about Simon Riley makes him too good at his job.

The type of good that his COs can’t part with, and therefore made them circumvent rules to keep him in the field, instead of sending him on leave.

The type of good that means he’s progressing up the ranks scarily fast, getting commendations left and right.

The type of good that attracts attention from all sorts of people in all sorts of high places.

Six months turned to twelve, turned to eighteen, turned to twenty-four…

In a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, by the time Corporal Simon Riley notices, he’s twenty-five, and passing selection for the 22nd Regiment of the SAS.

He throws punches in the training room, the other newcomer he’s fighting with narrowly dodging them. His aggression is coming out more than usual, almost like he’s having trouble keeping a lid on the boiling pot that are his inner thoughts.

He needs to let out frustration. He needs to hurt someone.

That’s all he’s been able to think of since he woke up this morning and saw the date on his calendar.

The calendar is a funny thing. The days keep going past, coming and going, another page, another month… Time moves and he feels he’s standing still.

Sure, he got bumped up the ranks, he got accepted into the SAS, he went back to Manc for the holidays, celebrated his birthday, his wins…

But that didn’t stop his heart from aching as the calendar showed the anniversary of your first kiss, the anniversary of your first time, your birthday and his…

Today is October 5th. The 13-year anniversary of the day you two met.

And you are all he can think of.

He was nineteen, you were eighteen.

He had just gotten himself out of base and took a bus to the train station. Eight months. Eight months he had spent in Afghanistan.

He had gotten nothing from you, not once hearing “Lance Corporal Riley, phone!” as he got brought into the tent to pick up a phone call from you… And much less a letter of yours dropped at the foot of his bunk in the few times he had enough downtime to sleep.

He had time to think. Nothing else but time, he felt like. Time to realize that, maybe, he was wrong in the way he left. Maybe he shouldn’t have said the things he did. Even if he still thought you needed to hear them.

He missed you. Point blank.

He got himself to the station early, over an hour left for his train to Manc to leave.

He found himself meandering in the streets nearby, killing time. A bergen pack on his shoulders, hands in his pockets, muscular arms on display in a t-shirt that clung a bit too tight to his body. A few fresh scars on his arms and hands from the recent service.

His brown eyes were drawn to a shop window, a jeweler’s. He told himself it was just because the items on display are shiny.

He went inside. He told himself it was just because he had time to kill.

The jeweler, a kind old man, spotted the fatigues he was wearing, and showed him the engagement rings without even being asked. He looked at them all, going back and forth between all the designs. He told himself it was just to amuse the elderly man.

But as he disembarked the train in Manchester hours later and walked toward the cabbies across the street from the station, his hand tapped at the little ring box in the top right pocket of his cargo pants.

When he got home, his dad’s car was gone. Good. It meant you were still driving around with it. He forced himself to go inside, to greet Tommy and mum, dad not being home when he got there, thank God.

Once they were both asleep, he took mum’s car out. It was a shitty little Vauxhall Vectra. He made a mental note to buy her a new one once he had enough money as he drove out to the viewpoint he knew you spent your nights in.

But you weren’t there.

He drove back down to Wythenshawe and took the car in a slow drive-by past your house. The car wasn’t there either.

So, he drove to your local, the spot you both spent so many nights with your mutual friends at. It wasn’t there either. In fact, no one’s car was there. Not even your old mates… Even though it was a Friday night.

As a last resort, he drove to Olly’s house. The lights were on. His dad’s car wasn’t there, but Olly’s was. So, he parked the car and went up the steps, knocking on the door.

A very weary-eyed Olly opened the door, wearing a dirty undershirt, as he seemed to have just gotten home from work. “Riley?! Oi, bruv!” He greeted Simon with a half-hug and pat on the back, which Simon returned. “How you been?”

“Can’t complain.” Simon replied. “Just shipped back from deployment.” He added, stepping inside the house. “How’ve you been?” He returned the question, even if he didn’t care.

He felt stiff inside Olly’s house, even if he was the one mate of his that Simon was closest to, other than you. He felt like he didn’t belong there.

“Been alright. Workin’ construction now. You know how it is.” He remarked as he offered Simon a beer from the fridge. But he didn’t take it. The brand was the same cheap shite your father used to drink. He didn’t need it.

“I need to see your cousin. Just been by her house but she wasn’t there.” He added as he watched Olly drop himself onto an armchair in the sitting room. Simon remained standing, arms crossed over his chest.

Oliver’s face immediately turned to look at Simon, eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh, bloody hell, you didn’t know, did you?” He asked.

“Didn’t know what?” He asked and cocked a brow, moving his arms a bit as his blouson jacket scrunched under the strain of his crossed bulky arms.

“Y/N vanished. Packed up and left a few months ago. Didn’t tell anyone where she was going. Drove her mum and mine up the bloody wall panicking that she was gone.” Olly explained, his voice a bit more solemn.

Simon’s blood ran cold as he heard what Olly said. “Wha-” He choked on his own breath and coughed a bit as Olly kept going, saying something or other about how you didn’t even pick up your last paycheck from the little job you were working. How you had only scheduled a letter be sent from the post office to your mum to promise her that you were alive and safe, and were going to find someplace better for yourself.

The blond lad didn’t even dignify your cousin with another word. He simply turned and marched out of the house, slamming the door behind him as he returned to his mum’s car.

It felt like the engagement ring he had bought you suddenly weighed a ton, and like it was burning a hole through his pocket and onto his stomach, searing hot, mocking him.

He leaned his hands against the top of the car and leaned his hand down, feeling like he was going to throw up.

What did he expect? That you’d still be around, waiting for him with open arms? That you’d stay after the way he treated you? That was pathetic of him. Hell, you might have been immature and naive, but you weren’t a bloody pushover, that much he knew.

“Riley!” A voice calls out to him, but it’s just far enough that he can tune it out and keep fighting.

The other cadet is winded, stumbling back when Simon throws a harsh elbow to his nose and then sweeps his legs out from under him, landing the other man on the mat.

“RILEY!” The voice is louder and Simon suddenly stops in his tracks, shoulders rising and falling.

He looks back at the source of the voice, Lieutenant Jonathan Price, his C.O.. “My office.” He demands. Simon grunts under his breath and his shoulders drop. He looks back down at the recruit he’s sent sprawling onto the floor. He’s bleeding, cupping his nose with his hand.

He huffs and reaches a hand down, helping the other one to his feet and mumbling a few half-hearted apologies. “Didn’t think you’d be that weak.” He says in banter, trying not to seem so angry, the other guy laughing it off despite the unmistakeable soreness in his back and blood all over his uniform.

Then, Simon rushes off, taking off his black grappling gloves and slipping his body under the ropes of the ring, following after Lieutenant Price.

He enters the office after a brief knock and goes inside, noticing Lieutenant Price on the other side, sitting at his desk, arms crossed. “You wanna explain to me why you’re throwing the other recruits around like ragdolls?” He nods his head out the door.

Corporal Simon Riley, now an SAS Cadet, takes a breath and closes the door behind himself and slowly sits in front of Price.

He has a lot of respect for his Lieutenant, having been handpicked by him specifically to join his Bravo Six squadron. He’d even say he gets along with the man.

“Nuthin’ boss.” Simon replies as he looks away from the harsh blue eyes of the man in front of him.

“Right. Nuthin’.” Price says sarcastically. “Well, whatever that nuthin’ is, you better fix it.” He adds.

If only it was that easy, Simon wants to tell him. But he doesn’t. Instead nods his head sharply. Not much he could do either way. He agrees with Price. He knows he was in the wrong minutes ago. He’s normally so good at keeping a lid on it…

“It’s just a bad day.” Simon replies. “‘ll be back to normal tomorrow.”

“I don’t care if it’s a bad day, a bad week or a bad life.” He adds bluntly, display his authority. “I can’t have a tickin’ time bomb in my ranks, understood?”

“Yes, sir.” Simon replies and nods again and looks down at his legs, spread open in the armchair across from Price’s desk, his eyes locked on the black training trousers with the SAS logo stamped on the left leg.

“We gotta rely on each other, Riley,” Price starts to tell him, which causes Simon’s brown eyes to flit upward abruptly, locking onto Price’s blue ones.

“Stop bloody relyin’ on me.”

“If you’re so fuckin’ unhappy and ungrateful of what I’m doin’ for us both…”

“Then grow up and leave. Get yourself out.”

“...so, redirect that aggression.” Price finishes his explanation. “Let it out in the firing range or the field. Not against your own team.” He advises.

“Yes, sir.” Simon adds and gulps a bit, pushing himself up off his chair. He makes for the door in quick, silent steps, without having to be dismissed.

He closes the door behind him and rushes down the hall and out a side door.

Once he’s around the back of the building, he keels over and vomits over his boots.

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[← Previous] || [Next →] || [MY MASTERLIST]

taglist: @iite-cool , @spicyspicyliving

#ikea writes 💚#home cbf!simon fic #cod fanfic #ghost cod #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #childhood best friends to lovers #cbf #cbf!simon #teenage love #masterlist #angst #heartbreak #time skip

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ghostedcas · 1 year

Note

hello :3

i saw that you really loved fluff fics AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ASWELL! so i was wondering if you could write something for dad!simon riley x mom!reader and they have somewhat of a big family like two teen kids and two younger kids and all of them go on a much needed vacation together🥹 like it could be anywhere you want it to be maybe a road trip to the mountains, beach, or just going out of state!

i would love to see what you do with this :3 im a sucker for fluff

have an amazing day/night :DD

gods absolutely yes, dad!simon 💳💥💳💥💥💳🥺

i'm the biggest sucker for family fics y’all you don't understand!!

i apologize if this is a lil shitty, i'm stoned writing this lmao

simon "ghost" riley x reader

warnings: none, lots and lots of tooth rotting fluff. reader is afab and referred to as mrs. riley once mom, mother, and with other fem terms but no specific pronouns are used and identifying gender isn't specified :)

word count: 655

a/n: simon and reader have 4 kids, twin son and daughter (4), a nonbinary teen (15) and a son (17), none of them are referred to with actual names except for the nonbinary child whose name is 'bug' (there is lore behind this i came up with while writing this if anyone wants a little fic extending on how bug chose their name), simon and the reader have been together for 18 years. i actually have no idea how old ghost is even supposed to be, i just headcanon him in his mid 30's but for this specific au he'll be 40 on the dot, reader is meant to be 38-40.

--------

"are we there yet?" you hear the whine of your four year old son come from his car seat behind you. it wasn't hard to tell the poor guy was getting restless and impatient,

"just 20 more minutes bud, keep watching bluey with your sister." your husband, simon responds to the squirrely child before you can speak up. you flash him a sweet smile and look over your shoulder to glimpse back at your children.

you were currently on a roadtrip up to scotland to visit one of simon's military friends and vacation at the beach with your family. you found it a little funny that on his break from work simon was so happy and eager about going to see one of his coworkers, but it warmed your heart to know he had such close friends especially in people he had to work with, people who he literally trusted with his life.

"how're you all holding up?" you ask the four with a sweet smile.

"good." your eldest son mumbles, not moving his attention from his phone, texting his friends.

"how about you my little bug?" you turn your attention to your 15 year old.

"i'm good mama, just playing a word search game." they replied, turning their phone to show you the progress of their game.

"nice, you're doing great. i didn't even realize that fritz was a real word."

it was just under another 20 minutes when you pulled into the driveway of simon's friend's, johnny, house. it was s beautiful, quaint thing, the ocean a few hundred feet away behind the home. as you unbuckled your seatbelt you saw the man appear from his home, holding his arms out with a loud chuckle for simon as your husband stepped out of the vehicle.

you smiled to yourself as you got out of the car, watching your husband embrace his friend gruffly as you removed your four year old daughter from her car seat. "hello darling, we're here now." you say gently to the child, who is just awakening from the nap she decided to take in the car.

bug removed your four your old son from his seat for you, holding the boy in their arms as you thank them and give their head a pat with your free hand.

you and the four children approach your husband and his friend, offering the scott a sweet smile. "it's good to see you again johnny."

"you to mrs. riley, kiddos."

"hi uncle johnny." the kids replied.

"why don't the four of you go and play on the beach? it's a private beach and there's not too many others out on it today." soap suggests to the kids with a smile, thumbing over his shoulder to point towards the beach.

it was a couple hours later, you were sat on a beach chair under an umbrella watching simon in the water with your daughter, hearing the four year old's loud and excited giggling made your heart swell. your eldest son and 15 year old playing water volleyball against johnny as your youngest son rested in your arms, tired of playing in the water and just wanting to be cuddled by his mother.

your heart felt full as you watched the scene in front of you, this vacation was well needed for everyone, your two older kids having worked incredibly hard on their schooling and grades, simon having worked hard at work as he always does. and being four is harder than it may seem, the twins needed this break just as much as everyone else.

and of course yourself, you had worked hard at home, taking care of the kids, the housework, and so much more. with and without simon, you worked hard and deserved the break too. it was nice to finally get the time to do something fun like this together as a family. you wouldn't trade it for the world.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley fluff #simon ghost riley fluff #simon riley x reader fluff #ghostedcas #casper's 💌

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lemonandlime22 · 2 years

Note

Idk if your requests are open but if they are, could you do headcanons with [Yuu] just with the overblot people and then for [whatever reason], they scold or make fun of them and they just reply with "Says the one who got beaten by a [12 - 14] year old." (Cuz I think you have to be like 15/16 to be a freshman/first year? Idk, correct me if I'm wrong)

I thought their faces would be funny when the realization of the fact a child stopped their blot

(I did get this from when I was reading your bitey child! [Yuu] and I love the bitey child cuz I was that kid <3)

Riddle, Leona, Azul, and Jamil reaction to a cocky little Yuu

Warning(s): cussing, violence towards yuu

A/N: yeah you got the ages right, all the first years are 16. Btw I have a character limit of 4, so I just did the first 4 overblot guys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle

Poor boys pride is already so wounded

give him a break.

Ok, what happened to lead up to this,

you, Grim, and the Adeuce duo were messing around in the heartslabyul gardens when you probably broke something or messed up a rose bush in front of Riddle

and those assholes ended up running away when he confronted you guys

leaving you to face Riddles scolding.

You got p annoyed.

So when the scolding was finally over, you just oh so quietly mumbled,

" says the brat who got his ass kicked by a 13 year old... "

"wHAT DID YOU JUST SAY-"

His face was so fucking red, it rivaled his overblot face.

an let's just say you nearly had your head cut off

and I'm not talking about his unique magic.

You got a hole 'nother few hours of scolding

and quite a tight collar that stayed on for a few days.

Ace and Grim got a good kick out of this btw

Deuce was very apologetic and even tried to help smooth things over with Riddle for you

it didn't work.

Leona

HA!

yes keep insulting the manchild >:D

*cough*

Anyway,

this starts the like most other interactions with him do

you interrupting his nap in some way or another

you can pick which way you did this time.

Now, he was having a p rough day

Ruggie wouldn't let him sleep through classes

so he was extra pissed when he got woken up and put what little energy he had left into threatening you with death or smth

and when there was finally a break in his ranting you snarked back at him,

"HA! like you ever could, your ass got wiped by a magicless kid in less than like 30 minutes!"

....

silence....

man was too stunned to speak.

I don't think I can express enough the absolute WRATH that was radiating from off him

you rly started to regret what you said

especially since he looked like he was going to actually kill you

and he was.

You got really lucky when Jack was able to catch his hand mid air

yeah...

this fucker was literally going strangle you if it wasn't for Jack having been looking for you.

Jack wasted no time dragging you out of there and far away from Leona

and for a long time it's going to be rly fuckin tense between you and Leona...

You also got one hell of a scolding from Jack.

Azul

Same thing I said in Riddle's

his pride is already in shambles

and you and the tweels are not helping one bit.

So on to what happened,

you were bored so you decided to check out the clubs after school

and your first stop was the board game club.

eh? eh? get it? wink wink nudge nudge??

ok ill stop..

Idia basically scurried to the corner of the room to play on his phone when you came in and Azul was more than happy to possibly teach a brat underclassmen.

As you know, Azul can get pretty cocky sometimes

and this was one of those times,

he was talking smack

blabbering on and on about how easy this is for him and how he should prob go as easy on you as he could if he wanted you to have any chance of winning

also kinda giving some hints at giving you lessons for using Ramshackle on the weekends

so naturally you,

being the lil sassy bitch you are <3, snapped back,

"Mhm, sure, says the fish that was outwitted and beaten up by a tween and their rat bastard band of friends!"

there was a moment of silence,,,

that was quickly broken by Idia bursting into a short laugh at Azul.

The poor octopus wasn't expecting such a clap back

epically not one regarding his overblot

he may or may not have teared up a little bit...

He was also p upset obv

so he just grabbed his phone and made a call

"Hey Floyd-"

and you booked it out of there.

Floyd did chase you a little later on at the request of Azul.

Jamil

Jeez-

he's doing best man 😔.

You were going to meet up with Ace and Deuce after their clubs and Ace's was usually finished before Deuce's so you went to go wait for him and then get Deuce together

but you accidentally got there early

and you know that means

more waiting!!

yay!

I hope you can tell this is complete sarcasm

so you were just waiting on the bleachers watching the basketball club members practice when the ball hit you straight in the face

causing you to get a nosebleed...

ouch,,

Ace and Floyd were on the ground laughing their ass's off

Jamil went to go get the ball and make sure your nose wasn't broken

dw I googled it, a nose can bleed without being broken

and even tho he is trying to be a better person he was still a very sassy person

so ofc he made a joking snide remark about you being a little brat or smth

and you ofc snapped back with,

"Well, in case you forgot, this 'little brat' kicked your snake butt with three fish and a cat!"

and he just walked away

you were very stunned, you expected him to at least glare at you

but I guess you really can't compla-

*SMACK*

oop-

spoke too soon I guess....

Now you definitely have a broken nose...

he hit you as hard as he could with the ball btw.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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queen0fm0nsterz · 1 year

Note

Do you have more Pretender headcanons you could share with us? :3

OH BOY DO I... SIT DOWN THIS MIGHT BE LONG

1) Her wardrobe is full of Victorian era clothing ranging from the mid 1800s to the early 1900s.

2) Her powers are not inherited by either of her parents and came as pretty much a surprise.

3) ^ Though her parents already had a strained relationship before she was born, what set them apart for good was her. Not because it's her fault. Neither of them was ready to take care of her and her powers

4) Her mother either abandoned her and fled by hot air balloon, or got accidentally evaporated by the Pretender.

5) Mono would probably not be affected by her powers due to his own. His cancel hers out.

6) Her eyes are mismatched, having one light blue eye and one reddish/brown

7) She is aware of both the Thin Man and the Lady, but doesn't know either personally. However, she does enjoy spending her time watching TV because she thinks "the man in the TV is funny".

8) A mix of an headcanon and a thought: her voice sounds like it's being filtered through a radio or a phone and it usually freaks other children out. It's one of the things that isolate her.

9) ^ She has pretty bad volume control and cannot tell when she's shouting or not in normal conversations

10) Not good at remembering names AT ALL.

11) As of now she cannot control her powers. If she could, she would not be able to "turn them off": however, she would be able to redirection them from her hands to other parts of her body. For example, if she wanted to hold someone's hand, she's redirection her power downwards to the lower section of her body.

12) ^ As a result, the ground under her feet kinda... dies. If there are flowers and grass, they wither away, and if there's sand she leaves black/almost burnt looking tracks behind.

13) Her features are very sharp. She has high cheekbones, piercing eyes, and a hooked nose. Hands with long fingers but short nails because she bites them.

14) During the events of VLN, she's 13 years old. Out of the main five gang, she's the oldest, with RCG coming after her at 12.

15) She's not very well versed in the arts but she THRIVES on modelling. Ask her to pose for a picture or painting and she'll never refuse.

16) She's a pretty sickly child and can get ill easily. However, she is incredibly strong and can pick up very heavy objects. She's also pretty agile.

17) HER BONES ARE STUPIDLY RESISTANT.

18) Would and will bark if it comes to it.

19) Gave up on using nail polish because she always ends up eating it when she bites her nails💔

20) Not an headcanon, I tried to imagine her as a brunette and she's honestly kinda adorable :(

That's about it, I'd say. At least for now👹

#little nightmares #very little nightmares #the pretender #ln the pretender #vln the pretender #i have been normal for too long. time to go back to being crazy.#ln headcanons

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lieblingspulli · 1 year

Text

Need Something? - SKZ

W.C: 2.3k

Seungmin x Reader

Summary: Two days converge into one as you and Seungmin unwind for the day!

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist

Note: Hey! It’s been a while but I got inspired by my extreme procrastination of my schoolwork to make something. I’ve been just itching to write about super mundane things tbh, I’ve been just so busy, I’m appreciating the mundane much more lately. Hope you all like it <3

Seungmin was extremely relaxed after his daily coffee run. If there was anything to start his morning peacefully, it was nicely flavored americano and an empty cafe. Today would be a good day, Seungmin resolved to himself. He would get his choreo memorized, sing some demos for Chan today and maybe even go live for a lunchtime mukbang session. Today would be a great day in fact. He felt so at peace that he felt he could do anything today, even the laundry that had been sitting in the corner of his room for like a week at home. Today would be good.

You personally felt victimized today. Nothing like sleeping through the most important meeting of the quarter to start your morning. You spent all of last night typing out your important charts and notes, Seungmin couldn’t even lure you into bed with warm cuddles and extra attention.

Despite this, Seungmin had kissed you to sleep endlessly when you did join him at an early 3 in the morning. You felt so bad for keeping him awake, but Seungmin didn’t have an important quarterly report to type, you did. Resigning to a stern lecture from your coworkers, you let the morning do its thing. You used the last of the coffee pods that Seungmin left you and fed your tiny, old dog before hurrying out the door. Let’s get this day over with, you thought.

Right before you left work for the day, you sent Seungmin a text.

Just getting out of work. When do u get home?🥲-Y

Almost immediately Seungmin answered.

Maybe around 7. :( Srry bby -S

Can you squeeze out an early send off from chris??? Tell him I broke my finger -Y

You’re funny. Let me work my magic ;) -S

Lmk how that goes, if not just tell my chrissy I said hi and he still owes me some nachos from when he ate mine -Y

Some time went by as you waited for a reply. You watched the fall colors of the trees pass you by as the bus took you to your homestop. Something about fall calmed your nerves. Luckily, the quarterly meeting had been postponed because the division manager had a cold, which totally saved your butt. You sighed and felt a vibration from your phone.

Chan$$ venmoed you 10 usd

You grinned and sighed. Opening up your messages with Seungmin, you shook your head and laughed.

Why did chan send me 10 dollars in usd 🤔 -Y

bro???? -Y

He said because you keep pestering him for an american dish -S

Tell him I’ll enjoy it very much thxxx -Y

He also said you have to share with him when you get them -S

Why dont you just text him urself omg -S

You just sent him an emoji with your tongue sticking out.

Oh hey did he let you out tho? -Y

No -S

We have a weird schedule today bc of the morning show tm -S

Srry bb -S

Its OK. have fun xoxo -Y

You pulled the bus signal and gathered your stuff. The time on your phone read 4:26. Technically speaking, you should be at work, but was let out early due to the manager being gone and the meeting had everyone done with work. Maybe you would cook some lasagna according to your mom’s recipe. Or take Luna (your fossilized age dog) out on a walk. You didn’t really seem to know what to do because of this peculiar on-edge feeling.

It was peaceful around you as you hopped off the bus. An ajumma was reading her book on the bus stop bench. A 16 year old student and his friend were arguing over a bag of chips. A business man was walking presumably home from work.

You pulled your coat a little tighter around you as you started to walk in the direction of yours and Seungmin’s place. The cold air had picked up in a bit of a breeze as you passed the corner store which was next to the salon that was owned by your neighbor down the hallway. Eventually you made it to your building and walked into the warm main hallway.

Seungmin’s schedule was unexpectedly busy today. Despite his peaceful start, the choreographer made some changes to the new dance they were learning for a unit video with Leeknow and Jeongin. Leeknow, being the particular dancer he always was, made the choreo hour seem like 3. Afterwards, Chan said his demo tracks still weren’t ready but he could send one of them over for a listen. This left Seungmin a bit of freetime before lunch, so he decided to walk to the new chocolate store that opened down the street and buy you some mocha and espresso choco bites. With his goodies in hand, Seungmin proceeded to go about his day as normal, except for the fact that Jisung was freaking out when he met with Seungmin for lunch over how his recording session went terribly and he needed to reschedule soon because the tracks needed to be edited soon. All of Jisung’s stress made its way to Seungmin and started to give him an icky feeling. The best he could do was offer some comfort to Han by offering to help him on the vocals when he had a chance. This seemed to help him a bit. Not soon after, You texted Seungmin and this put him at ease. Running off after lunch, Seungmin found Chan in his studio working on the aforementioned demos. Trying to guilt trip his most loyal leader, Seungmin found himself getting an apologetic “Sorry min but the schedule is packed after 3:30. It's best to stay the day I think” from Chan. Welp.

From here on, it was utter chaos. When Seungmin got to the group meeting room for a debrief on the morning schedule, no one but the manager was there. Everyone was late, Hyunjin didn’t have anything but a coffee and his phone because he forgot his laptop at home, Jeongin was sniffing because he was recovering from a cold, Leeknow was late because of a dance practice, Chris and Changbin were late because of the demo fixing, Jisung walked in with a second lunch, and Felix just lost track of time. Who knows what happened after that.

In between song rehearsals, Seungmin replied to your text and apologized for the continuing schedule. He sensed your day hadn’t gone according to plan but he really couldn’t do much at the moment. Jisung was pestering him to help him with some vocals and he reluctantly agreed to a bit of help after the rehearsal. So much for going home early.

After he grabbed his bag to head to Jisung’s studio room, he texted you again to make sure you were okay.

Are you bored without me yet -S

Seungmin swung the door open and started slowly heading down the dimly lit hallway to let Jisung catch up.

No Luna decided to spit up her lunch. Also the coffee machine broke -Y

My beloved coffee machine 🙁 -S

Seungmin got startled when he felt some hands on his shoulder. Jisung had caught up.

“What did you think about that rehearsal huh?” Jisung chuckled and readjusted his hoodie over his head. “Personally, I don’t know if I’ll survive tomorrow.” He shook his head and grimaced.

“Ah, it's fine. It’s strange because everyone was late but tomorrow won’t be that bad. I need a vacation after though.” Seungmin chuckled and stuffed his phone in his back pocket before heading into the elevator after Jisung.

“Bro I’ve got so many tracks to finish and turn in, it’s insane.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve got a bunch of people asking me for help.” Seungmin laughed and nudged at Jisung teasingly. Jisung got a bit embarrassed and slapped his arm playfully.

“I’m looking forward to the weekend.” Jisung sighed.

“Me too.” Seungmin agreed wholeheartedly and followed his companion into the studio hallway.

Finally, 7pm hit the clock. You quickly set the table and hopped in the shower. All the unease in your stomach had made you do odd chores around the house to get your mind off of the feeling. You made your homemade lasagna, did 2 loads of laundry, vacuumed the whole house, and cleaned out the fridge. Still, you felt unfinished. The whole day at work, people had been asking for your assistance on different tasks and now that you did jobs for yourself, it didn’t feel satisfying enough. Additionally, you tried making your favorite caramel latte but the machine broke. You sighed as you washed your hair. After you got out and was on step 3 of your skincare routine, you heard the front door open and close, signaling the return of your boyfriend.

Seungmin took the choco bites out of his bag before setting it on its designated hook in the hallway. Luna ran up to Seungmin and excitedly pawed at his shoes for pets. Suengmin smiled and crouched down to pet her before talking sweet nonsense despite her being a dog.

You walked out from the bedroom, careful not to startle Seungmin and snickered a bit.

“And here I thought I was the one going to get extra attention.” You teased.

Seungmin stood up and waddled over to you with arms open wide.

“Babyyyyyyyy. I missed you so” He said in his best baby voice. You adored Minnie. “Don’t strangle me Min.” You pouted.

“I’m sorry, I just had a weird day.” You could hear his visible pout and you rubbed his back.

“Did you need something then? A kiss? Some food?” Seungmin held you out at arm’s length and got suddenly very serious.

“That is the first time someone has asked me that all day.” You giggled at his distraught face, knowing he was pouting about not getting enough attention.

“Aw, my poor baby boy didn’t get enough love from his friends did he?” You smiled teasingly. He dramatically nodded yes and then seemed to have an epiphany.

“Oh! I have something for you!” He ran over to the table and picked up a fancy yellow pastry box before opening them and stretching them out to you.

“Aw, baby, you didn’t have to.” You picked up a chocolate cookie looking thing and bit into it. You expected a cruncy texture, but got more of a caramel bite of brownie spongieness. You sighed in pleasure and closed your eyes to savor the taste.

“Mmmm! This is so good. Where did you get these from?” You opened your eyes.

“There’s a new pastry shop by the JYP building! I thought you could use a pick me up today.” He stared at you excitingly, happy that you were happy. He happily walked back to the table and set down the box before sauntering to the kitchen.

“Thanks Min, I really appreciate it. I needed the surprise.” He looked back at you and curiously asked what was wrong.

“Ah, I just had a bad start to the morning. My meeting got delayed and I’ve been feeling weird all day.” You walked to the counter and began to plate some lasagna. “I did make my favorite dish for dinner though.” You felt arms wrap around you waist and a chin prop on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, baby. Do you need something from me? Sometimes you just need someone to take care of you to feel better.” Suengmin said sweetly. You leaned your head back against him.

“You’re too nice to me you know that right?” You sighed and got back to serving the food.

“No, I’m so serious right now. I feel like everyone asks so much of us that we don’t just get to take care of eachother.” He helped you carry the dishes to the table as he maintained the conversation.

“So many people asked me for favors today. I realized how much I just wanted to go home and listen to someone ask about my day. I feel like that would make you feel better. So, I’ll do just that!” He happily exclaimed this last point and pulled out your chair for you to sit down in. You smiled and puckered your lips for a kiss. He happily obliged. You sweetly kissed him and said, “Min, all I want from you is your attention and your cuddles.” You giggled. He smiled and quickly grabbed some juice from the fridge before running to the table to sit down like a child.

“Okay, tell me about your day. I want to know everything. I also want to know what I can do to make you feel better. Think of it as a master plan. Plan Y/N: Make Y/N feel loved and appreciated for all they do for everyone.” He motioned with his hands across the space in front of him.

You shook your head and began from the very beginning. Seungmin listened the whole time and attentively ate while making agreeable sounds. Watching you be so animated about a normal day was so attractive to him, he thought to himself that he would spend all his days like today if he could return to you and listen to you speak. As dinner winded down, he held your hand across the table and spoke about his schedule that day. Although he was being pestered all day with favors, he felt that this one task that was given to him by you would never be an annoying one. He would gladly ask if you needed something from him if it meant giving you extra love and attention.

#skz #skz x reader #skz chan #skz lee know #skz changbin #skz hyunjin #skz jisung #skz felix #skz seungmin #skz jeongin #skz fluff #stray kids #seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #you make stray kids stay #lovestay

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fuck-customers · 10 months

Note

Idk if I ever told the story here but given as I’m thankfully not working rn to focus on school, I remembered an incident that happened at my old job (it’s not sad or enraging don’t worry all y’all)

I used to work at Moss Lress For Dess and my coworkers and managers were all cool there and the customers were mildly infuriating at most (for me who was a stockroom/fitting room attendant so I didn’t deal with register Karens)

One time we had a lot of stock come in so we were all rushing and one of our shortest and sternest managers (love her to death honestly she’s like the mom you don’t wanna disappoint) jumped in to help load the tall carts yknow, those metal shelved 4 shelf thing on wheels? Yeah, our policy safety thing with those is don’t stack anything on the top of it that could fall and hurt your head, like pillows and blankets and towels are fine cause they’re soft and stuff but sometimes we get so swamped with product we’d break the rule and put whatever on top but usually tried to make sure it was smth that wouldn’t fall easy or get pushed by the stockroom door off the top.

Well I was running carts with some others and the manager that hopped in to help was doing the fast stocking of some of the carts in our little conveyer belt type system we got back there, and she threw a stack of like 3 medium sized whiteboards on the top of the cart and I grabbed that one, called out I was running that section cart, then hurried out the double doors like everyone else, except this time the doors pushed the whiteboards off the top and they came crashing down on the top right above my forehead and one slid down on the way to the floor and cut/scraped the bridge of my nose a little and those were kinda heavy and I just braced myself cause it happened so suddenly

And this was obviously an accident cause everyone saw me cause it was right at the entrance of the stockroom so someone pushed my cart aside as my manager stopped what she was doing to help me to the bathroom to assess the damage and I was like ow haha wow my nose is scraped, and then we went to the office and she immediately started on an incident report and stuff she pulled the footage showing the accident and did all that for me as I sat there waiting and I told the people on the phone what happened and I ended up leaving early and had to call my brother to pick me up cause I didn’t know if I got a concussion so I didn’t wanna drive myself, I got a bit of a headache and was a little dizzy but to be fair I have a coconut head so it wasn’t that bad (I grew up basically being a basketball to the head magnet no matter where I was)

Anyways I could have gotten a big payout or smth cause it was clearly my managers fault for stacking the shelf like that on the cart but also we all loved her and we were all stacking them not correct because our smaller store gets too much product and told to rush it out every time by people above the managers so we kinda stick together like that??? I didn’t need medical attention luckily but I thought it was a funny story and tbh I’ve been hit worse in the head in the past as a kid so 🤷‍♂️

Anyways yeah that was prob like 2 years ago now??? That manager was a real one tho she was strict but understanding about stuff

Posted by admin Rodney.

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memoirsofasim · 1 year

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Sims Tag

I was tagged by @theageofsims thank you! 🤗🌷

What’s your favourite sims death? I don’t really have a favorite but if we are going to be morbidly humorous then electrocution or laughing. Majority of my sims die from old age which is on occasion forced by me due to wanting to speed up to the next generation or reducing my games sim count.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? The only cc I use is a default skin, lips, eyes and cheek blush. I used to use eyelashes but then they stopped working with one of the recent patches and I was like, meh, no biggy and then I never bothered to figure out why and just accepted my very vanilla sims. 💗 To be honest I cannot be bothered with all that stuff with TS4. I went banana’s on it with TS3 so I guess I’ve had my day with cc.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No. I’ll get them to workout for a bit but I don’t obsess over it.

Do you use move objects? Yes

Favorite mod? MCCC

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Get To Work

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? As LIVe mode.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Some of my favorite sims were probably from my TS3 sims story that I wrote on Blogger years ago. I gave them very detailed and individual personalities and I got quite attached to them. I tried recreating them in TS4 but they just never felt quite the same.

Have you made a simself? Yes and it was a very false representation of myself so I never did again. 😆

What sim traits do you give yourself? Perfectionist, which is inaccurate - I’m not looking for perfectionism, just for things to be organised. Active and I think the other one was Loves Outdoors but then I changed it to Loner.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? Probably brown because in RL I’ve always loved brown hair.

Favorite EA hair? I like a lot of the Updo hairstyles.

Favorite life stage? Infants and elders. What more can I say about infants but I am obsessed with them at them moment. Their cuteness out weighs their neediness. Elders I have always loved, even back in TS3 days. They are cute and funny and quirky, and I find their grumpiness amusing.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I enjoy both and when I get bored of one I switch to the other. Building for me comes in waves. Sometimes I get this huge burst of inspiration and other times I have nothing. Gameplay is a bit easier I feel that I don’t need to be too inspired as there are always things to check off with inspirations, or life milestones for a sim and keep me inspired to keep playing. I’m a check off the list kind of person.

Are you a CC creator? No

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I think of the fellow simmers I interact on here with as my online friends/mutuals. 💗

What’s your favorite game? I’ve loved all of them and appreciate each version of the game for what was/is at the time it was released.

Do you have any sims merch? Yes. I used to purchase the game magazines at the newsagent. I’ve kept them and have all versions except for Sims 1. I also have Sims 3 guide books and I also once purchased a mobile phone holder once but I think I threw that out years ago.

Do you have a YouTube for sims? No

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I don’t think I really have a so called sim style. In terms of playing the game I think as the different game versions came out I adapted and changed with them. Sims 1 & 2 I just played randomly and played around with building. Sims 3 I began a story which I then wrote for 10 years on blogger. I also really got into building but didn’t really consider myself a good enough builder. Sims 4 I struggled with at first because it was such a big change from Sims 3 but I feel pretty comfortable with where I am in my gameplay and how I post about my gameplay now.

What’s your Origin ID? simmemoirs

Who’s your favorite CC creator? For my default skins I like luumia, for lips simsontherope, for blush squeamishsims.

How long have you had a simblr? Since December 2011.

How do you edit your pictures? In Photoshop. I use an action from another simmer but for the life of me I cannot find who or where I got it from. It’s called Gohliad Subtle and it resizes, adjusts levels, brightens etc.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? None. To be honest, my game is so full of packs and kits (not all kits) that I’m quite content with what I have already. I think I might be done in downloading & paying for extra stuff from EA. Though if we get a horses pack, as per the rumors, then I’ll probably eat my own words and buy it. But not for the horses 👎, for the new world! 😀

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? There are two, Seasons and Growing together. Both of these have been a massive gamechanger for me. I love seasons in my game and the infants, well they have my heart!

Tagging: @payte @furasims @serenasims @cantseemtohide @aleksa-sims @happylifesims @simmer-rhi @breakfastwithbeb @natolesims @turtleshellsims @babblingstacey @whatawhim @koomeba No pressure and apologies if you have already done this. It’s not been a great week for me and I forget which simblrs I’ve visited/read this week.

#Sims Tag Game #Tag Game #Personal

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exit-path · 2 years

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Tumblr Post Compilation: A Masterpost

First of all, let me tell you what you're about to see.

This is a list of 118 "funny tumblr posts" taken from YouTube compilations in 2016. I tracked down all these posts on tumblr myself in Nov 2021. The post is broken up into two parts, and is available under the cut. Each of the links is named after a snippet from the actual post (effectively the "punchline"), and clicking on it brings up the full post, which you can reblog and interact with.

These posts are nostalgic to me because I watched these YouTube compilations before I came to tumblr. I recommend you scroll through these posts, as they bring up a form of humor that's rarely seen today which, I think, has almost been lost to time. Also, if you want to learn how to do this, there's some insight as to how I did this at the end of the post.

(This masterpost is a revision of this post, necessitated because the hyperlinks don't work anymore.)

1. outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

2. Italian exchange student said “Look, the compressed horse.”

3. “im eminem!” “and I’m skittles?”

4. I JUST MISTOOK ANOTHER STUDENT FOR A TRASH CAN

5. he ate the reeses cup then stabbed himself with the epipen

6. “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

7. school on lockdown because someone put weed in the vents

8. Can’t cheat with those big ass galaxy phones

9. weirdly self-conscious about wiper blade speed

10. My brother told me not to slam the door and yell “Guess who’s home, motherfuckers”

11. drove by traffic camera 6 times thinking it was funny

12. drill sergeant made kid carry around potted plant to replace the oxygen he wasted

13. A list of things that do not offend people:

14. kid grabbed seagull out of air, all his friends were like “again tyrone?? really??”

15. “LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS”

16. drunk man proposes to tree, gets rejected

17. “i’m on my way, the traffic is just slow, i’m coming” “mom i called the house phone”

18. a kid’s phone started siri, TEACHER STARTED EXPLAINING IT AGAIN

19. “watch my stuff” what if someone comes and actually tries to steal it

20. our goats think that now whenever they pee they get a treat

21. “it’s for your own good”, mom deleted the internet explorer icon from my desktop

22. a girl called me a lying slut because I was with her bf a lot. we’re siblings

23. I watched an old couple set off their car alarm and drive away… now that i think about it-

24. Rules to learning English: their our know rules

25. a kid got expelled for pretending to be russian for 8 months

26. a girl said she had two moms and a boy started crying, he said it wasn’t fair she had two

27. when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet

28. my mom is telling me “get a good job” but my heart is telling me “marry rich”

29. my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. follow for more geological humour

30. I’m saying “excuse me” but I really mean “why the fu-”

31. nun goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”

32. Hospitals are so weird

33. handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this”

34. on April Fool’s his mom called to say she was in labour, dad laughed and hung up on her

35. “why do I fear bears? because Chester Zoo is 30 miles away and bears can smell fear”

36. dropped her ipad but held tight to her pizza

37. her parents faked a british accent in front of her until she was 7

38. really religious girl who told people off if they swore, gets sworn at

39. he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

40. so i was the official shia labeouf myspace but i was in fact a 12 yr old canadian kid

41. subway thief told suitcase has “a bunch of laptops” ends up stealing a dead dog

42. “I guess working in fast food just wasn’t my cup of tea”

43. I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was

44. so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind

45. my favorite thing is ask 14/15 year old kids on dates if they want a kids menu

46. I blacked out in Disney World, woke up with Mickey Mouse putting a cold towel on me

47. “wanna date me? yes: smile no: backflip” and she did a backflip

48. “do you wanna kiss” “excuse me” he pulled out a bag of hershey’s kisses

49. when beyoncé asked all the single ladies to put their hands up I looked at my bf and

50. 7th grade, his world of warcraft friends threw him a virtual birthday party

51. “she’s the bro and y’all bitches are the hoes”

#exit talks #tumblr culture

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real-total-drama-takes · 7 months

Note

OKAY MOD COURTNEY, I KNOW THIS IS MY 4 TIME TODAY COMMENTING IN THE TOTAL DRAMA TAKES BLOG BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT, PLEASE❗❗

I'll give you 4 takes and then I'll stop I SWEAR

1. What if the 2023 reboot had a extra episode in the same way that was the total drama drama drama drama episode?

IF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED I HOPE THAT THE MOST ICONIC TEAM FROM THERE WAS RIPPER, AXEL AND SCARY GIRL. Like- IMAGINE. a Secretly gay loser, a Melanie Martinez fan and a Girl boss. WHAT CAN GO WRONG?! And then in the start they all Will start hating each other with all forces possible, and then during the next scenes of the episode they are just walking around, gossiping and giggling, JUST LIKE A NORMAL BRAZILIAN FRIEND GROUP, 2 GIRL BOSSES AND THEIR GAY FRIEND. (Scary Girl would paint his nails while he gossips about the type of crime that happened In his class)

2. Julia was a horrible villain, and almost all her fans are annoying and toxic 13 years old Tik tokers. SERIOUSLY, she's Overrated in the same level than Courtney (Bowie solos her btw, Bowie is a slayer, SLAY KING🗣️👑❗❗)

3. Ripper x Chase and Axel x Nichelle will happen in the next season🕯️

4. JULIA JUST WENT TO THE FINAL 4 BECAUSE OF LUCK. if I was Bowie, I would make her be eliminated in EP 2. ALSO- SHE JUST GOT DRAGGED BY THE SCRIPT SINCE EP 5

she could be eliminated instead of Mk in EP 6 because she showed everyone the Phone thing UNTIL their elimination cerimony started. And she got nervous when they asked her about why she was showing that for them just now.

She could be eliminated In EP 7 if Raj and Wayne didn't get beated by a BIRD

RIPPER COULD EASILY WIN IMMUNITY IN EP 8 AND JULIA COULD GO HOME, RIPPER DESERVES MORE THAN HER🗣️❗❗

If wasn't for Zee saying that one Double alliance Shitzu on EP 9 she could flop and never come back

IN EP 10 IF CHASE HAD ENOUGH OF EMMA AND EVERYONE ELSE HE COULD WIN IMMUNITY AND JULIA WOULD DISAPPEAR

And in EP 11... Okay, Emmas elimination was Worth it, Really. TAKE THAT, TAYLOR SWIFT ENJOYER!

And in EP 12... She got what she deserved BUT ANYWAYS, RIPPERS GANG AND BOWIE COULD EASILY BEAT THE SHITZU OUT OF JULIA

I just still like Julia cuz she is funny. BUT I HATE HER AS A VILLAIN

okay, that's it. E é isso um beijo do Deimos💋 Tchau

#total drama #total drama 2023

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itsdappleagain · 1 year

Text

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LETS GET GUSSIED UP FOR THE LUCKY CAT CAPER!!!!

this is SUCH a solid episode. i love this one as well- the outfits, the slapstick, the action. all really good!! alrighty

today's post title pictures are some of my own, from my trip to san fran a few years back!! I'll share some of my favs- I visited or photographed every major caper location on the trip!!

there's me in chinatown, the golden gate bridge, alcatrez, fisherman's wharf and the pier, and good old karl himself!

alrighty- enough pictures. sorry for the long intro! notes under the cut as always :)

YEAHHH THE FLASHBACK TO CARMEN'S FINAL,,, YEAH. i forgot the episode opened like this tbh. i know everyone and their mother has ALSO pointed out that this scene is bathed in red light so i will AGAIN not beat a dead horse but just yes. color theory <3

i love the tiny little oh shit moment on shadowsan's face. like he hadnt quite realized how good she was

GOD THIS GETS SO BRUTAL he's pawing her around like a cat with a pompom

YEAH THE WAY SHE JUST GETS. DESPERATE AS THE FIGHT GOES

her waking up from the nightmare with that culmination of stress. the timer going off correlating with the phone. still being half in the dream when she talks to player and then realizing when he starts talking to her...

this is such a human moment for carmen i love it so so much. she's failed. she is tired, having nightmares, maybe has a headache. she's making mistakes and she's a little bit out of it, she's stiff from sleeping....she's a PERSON and i LOVE IT SO MUCH

or in much less eloquent terms SLEEBY CARMEN <3333

i love the setup for next episode here. its not overbearing; it doesnt feel like a setup episode but it IS and it hints at shadowsan's true motives almost right off the bat

the sigh and "i don't know" is weirdly smooth animation i love it

that pickpocket is soo smooottthh

also i have to know what carmen was doing in san francisco the night before that a. gave her a headache when she woke up and b. made her so tired that she just dropped her pants on the floor and passed out. because it seems to me like carmen sandiego got drunk and had a great time last night.

also. she has just woken up and is picking an outfit for a NIGHTTIME CHARITY GALA. SHE SLEPT IN SO LATE HEHHSHAHJ their sleep schedules are all so bad

carmen looks great in that shot where she opens the curtains sorry not sorry

carmen's hotel is just outside the transamerica pyramid!

in fact it is quite reasonable to assume that she was staying at the hilton. i have solved the mystery that no one asked me to solve

karl <333

cable cars weren't running when i visited sf </3 i was heartbroken

FREE KARL

i dont know look at her reflection

carmens feet are shaped like shoes and i dont know how to feel about that. why is her heel a heel

this dress was the most spectacular thing they ever put her in and the amount of time she wore it was criminally short

they also should have put her in a white dress shirt more often??? hello??? i see it in the closet??? put her in a fucking suit once in a while....that waitress getup in tsonts was THE SHIT

SHE LOOKS STUNNIIINGGGGGGG IN THAT DRESS

i also love that she's thinking about zack for the car, then player for the stamp. her writing is so good this episode...at the start at least

ten million cents, she chuckles, as if the stamp wouldn't still be worth a hundred thousand dollars

i love how casually she is willing to spend 10 million VILEBucks

i love how they call her the generous lady in red too- like they arent expecting this room to be able to afford a ten million dollar stamp and BID on it

L O O K AT THAT DRESS GOD ITS SO GOOD. THE STRAPLESS THE CHOKER THE ELBOW GLOVES THE CLUTCH PURSE AUGHHH ITS SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE IT MORE

THE CONNECTOR IN THE BACK? THE FANCY COMM EARRINGS? CHEFS KISS

chase and carmen had the exact same smirk when they saw the other in the fog i know it

i love their dynamic actually they are so funny together. egypt in season 4 highlights it so well but also. like here. the teasing the banter chase taking everything way too seriously in comparison to carmen treating him like a joke

its close to the cigarette aesthetic, to be honest, and it does not cause lung cancer. so this tiny flashlight i salute you for being hot

CHASE AND JUST TRYING TO GRAB HER DSJHKJWGD

THE SHOE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AJHKJDFH IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

poor carmen running around barefoot in the fog now

juliump scare

they stick those where in the world/where on earth references in there every opportunity they can with chase <3

julia is so short wheeze

MIP MIP MIP

that is for sure a bun i am not sure how mime bomb's beret made that shape

this episode is just chase getting jumpscared

he shoes mb away like a stray cat wheeze

the signed/mimed description of carmen is so on point i love mime bomb

go shadowsan go. send tigress <333 i love that he knows carmen so well even now that he knows she would enjoy one-upping tigress on this again

the "betrayed us and took a new name" thing from brunt is. carmen is transgender and brunt is the phobic about it i dont know it reads heavily okay

maelstrom and his democracy

FINE FINE SEND WHOMEVER

brunt has the cleaners on telepathic speed dial damn

the absolute muscles of steel mime bomb must have to sit in midair like that holy fuck

vile's lucky cat. meow. cat girl hand

carmen trying to watch subtly and stay hidden. girlie those are your opposite of strongsuits. weaksuits

mime bomb moves so cartoonishly and i love that. yes this is a cartoon. but. he is more of a cartoon

the music timing with carmen's face as she realizes its a shop FULL of lucky cats is so good

ILL TAKE THE TCHOTCHKE

carmen needs to stop saying "or what? you'll (insert bad thing here)" because the person she's saying that too ALWAYS says "yes exactly that"

luck cat store owner voiced by julia's va beloved. deserved better. glad she got cash in the end even if carmen was an aloof little prick about it and didn't even apologize

WE HAVE OTHERS YOU KNOW im so sorry lucky cat shop lady you deserved better

bait and switch

"keep the change" okay you still destroyed a shitload of her beautiful statues and didn't even help her clean it up. didn't apologize or. look at her. but fine

mime bomb. thats it thats the post

see the comical shifty look around is so fucking funnyyy

MIME BOMB COULD NOT BE MORE SUSPICIOUS IF HE TRIED HE'S SO FUNNY

the running in place gag never gets old

HFDJSFGDS

carmen just being half surprised and half impressed that they arrested mime bomb. yeah

also her just standing blatantly on the rooftop and NO ONE notices her wheeze

JULIA LISTING OFF ALL OF HIS MISHAPS IS SO FUNNY

the graffiti just being giant x's and o's dhfjdasg

mime bomb. is skrunkly

chase thats how you get sued you have to list the miranda rights in murica

julia <333 yes. yes yes yes

i gotta know what mime bomb was signing that made chase interpret "an elephant giving you a pedicure while spreading cheese on a baguette on Bastille day"

julia immediately giving a perfect translation. they are so funny

the expressiveness of chase and mime bomb combined makes for some GOLDEN freeze frames

julia shielding her mouth the wrong way. good job girlie. you tried. he can still see everything youre saying though

chase's neck disconnects from his head!

considering chase and julia never showed any form of identification mime bomb could hypothetically press charges for kidnapping

MIME BOMB OFFERING THE FLOWER AND THEN CHUCKING IT WHEN TIGRESS GETS ANNOYED WITH HIM IS JUST. HIS ANIMATION AND CHARACTER ACTING ARE SO GOOD

all of 26 cents buys mime bomb out

i like julia's little lean on the wharf railing. she's usually just sitting or standing up straight its cool to see her do something

this chase scene is so goood

btw unrelated but this girl is my favorite background extra?? they use her in a TON of bg scenes so. pointing her out to you so that you will notice her forever in other scenes

poor chase. his poor coat. his voice is screaming I LOVED THAT COAT from the future

hehheshgdh carmen is so frustrated that it happened AGAIN with tigress and the stupid thing in the pocket wheeze

HES SO HEARTBROKENKDJSDGFDSG

THE LAMP POST TRANSITIONS BETWEEN EVERYONE RUNNING ARE MY FAAAVORITE I LOVE THOSE

SHE JUST DUMPS THAT GUY OUT OF THE CAR LMAOO

zack using a lil racing metaphor!!! because!! yeah!!!!

this chase scene is so fucking good with all the cars GOD the music and driving through san francisco and everything AUGH

what if the car had just hit chase and he went flying

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I AM NOT INVITING YOU ALONG! I CANNOT BE SLOWED DOWN BY "CAUTION WORDS"

chase is so funny he really sets himself up to fail

i feel bad for julia in this one though. you can see the buildup to next episode when she finally yells at him. shes fucking tired of this shit and yes she should be

carmen is your mom when you go 5 miles above the speed limit

she's one to talk, obviously, seeing as one of the first things she ever did in zack and ivy's presence was run a red light, almost cause an accident, and then fly into an open construction pit, ruining the car she stole from them

the concern in carmen's voice as she attempts to get zack to not crash into a building in an attempt to go up the wall

PLS CARMEN JUST GOES FLYING WHEN THEY GO OVER THOSE HILLS

the little sideyes the other two faculty give when shadowsan and brunt are squabbling shdshgfsdgh

i got to bike across the golden gate bridge it was super cool

THE WOMAN BEAMS HERSELF FROM A FOUNTAIN PEN, SHE CAN DO ANYTHING. well its some kind of respect women juice. maybe not the right kind though

the terror in julia's tone after watching chase not look at the road for a solid minute

annnnd there he goes

julia being done with his shit is so funny i love her

go sheena. scaling the whole ass bridge with her fingertips alone

carmen again sacrificing politeness and basic human decency for a quip </3 oh well

i love that cs color theory post thats like. the golden gate bridge is the epicenter of carmen's power and tigress was a fool for challenging her there

wow look its carmen becoming distracted and disadvantaged by valuable objects people throw at her again

not sheena showing carmen where she put the stamp too. nice job tigress

this showdown is pretty cool

carmen is SO efficient about it she just slides and boom its over. AND she steals the phone

she does look pretty awesome holding the stamp with two fingers though. god

STEALING THE PHONE WAS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT

plus she outed him in front off the whole faculty which is only funny if you dont know what happens next lmaoo

stamp of approval. laugh

tigress just sadly sitting there is also very funny

AND JULIA DRAGGING CHASE OUT OF THE WATERNDSDV

HERE WE GO TRANSITION SENTENCEEE

GO GET HIM!!!!!

WOW i can't believe this Saturday is already going to be the season finale. I LOVE the french connections caper so I am VERY excited for the next episode!! hopefully I won't get so far behind this time. to be fair I was doing state testing and presentations and shit but hopefully the worst of that is over.

alrighty- until next time for the chase dies and then carmen dies caper!!

#csweekly #cs weekly #carmen sandiego

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boy-above · 3 months

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tagged by @vespertin-y to share three random facts abt myself sooo

1.) i have a big phobia of lakes or just dirty water in general, and submechanophobia, i can't stand looking at like cars submerged in water. i don't seem to have the same fear of the ocean, for example i would never swim in a lake and i'd probs have a panic attack if i fell in one, but i went to the beach for the first time in my life a couple years ago and i got in the ocean just fine. i didn't go very far out bc i was afraid i'd get pulled in, im very small you see and i can't really swim, but i enjoyed it and my friend got seaweed for me to touch ajdjf. despite not being afraid of seawater i do Not like boats and wouldn't get on one on the sea or in a lake. i'd probs feel Better about being on a boat in the sea but the feeling of being in a boat in general feels Wrong to me, like my primal monkey brain is like "humans shouldn't be able to float above water like this".

2.) i have very repetitive stress dreams every night of my life, i don't think i've ever had a Good dream before and im not joking. usually the mundane stuff like being back in high school and not knowing where my classes are or my locker combination etc (which is wild bc that's never something i actually needed to worry about in high school, like i never once forgot things like that). also losing my phone or having it stolen seems to be a theme lately as well. HOWEVER when a dream isn't mundane, i manage to have REALLY weird dreams. the first nightmare i ever remember having was when i was like three years old and i dreamed a tree was chasing me. like a legit tree. i never saw it walk, it would just move when i wasn't looking and would be closer when i looked back. i ran home and still have the vivid memory of slamming my front door and looking behind me to the window where the tree was "looking" inside at me. it didn't have eyes or anything im just assuming it must have been looking at me lmao. anyway i was Terrified of this tree but hindsight that's literally so funny. a tree. also had a dream where my trash bag climbed into bed with me. and one where it was "emu hunting season" in my neighborhood and everyone was hunting emus. i probs don't have to clarify that there aren't emus anywhere near my midwestern city.

2.5.) interesting combination of the first two facts, which is why this is a bonus fact™️. i realized a recurring aspect of my dreams is something highly specific to me and not normal. i didn't realize this from conversations with people or anything i just suddenly was like "oh that's actually very weird and specific to my particular phobias". the aspect in question being that in multiple dreams over several years there's been partially submerged roller coasters in my dreams. like the roller coaster is like 1/4 submerged in a dirty lake and i either just see it and am like "eugh" or i'm actually forced to ride it and have to deal with the horror of both the anticipation of the dirty water part plus the actual contact with the dirty water. i'm not afraid of roller coasters or anything i guess my brain just found a way to tap into my submechanophobia. very weird brain thing that sounds very stupid and it is ajdjr

3.) on a lighter note, i have five genshin impact accounts, although i don't use two of them anymore. i have my main account, an anemo only account, and a new gimmick account that is a secret. my other accounts were just a replay account to experience exploration again, and one that i was gonna call carrot run where i only used xingqiu. i might still end up playing on that one again eventually given that i have xingxiu and sac sword on that account already in very early game with was lucky 4 me.

this was longer than i thought it would be i just decided i like talking about myself apparently LMAO

i don't rly have anyone to tag bc i'm afraid of bothering ppl so AJDHDHFH will leave off the post here

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a-tale-of-legends · 3 months

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With my timeline being exactly 1 year longer, it made me want to really look into each individual arc I want to do for the Legendverse. The problem is that my brain is ping ponging through so many things it's hard to sit down and write my thoughts down. But I was just thinking of Alexis during his 2 year "search" for N and I thought I'd write them down a bit? Soooo yeah.

I wanted to start off with how I started with Alexis' relationship with his prosthetic arm vs how I see that relationship now. Before, I thought it was a cool thing he had, something he was self conscious about and added onto his dwindling mental health. He would constantly use his prosthetic anywhere and anywhere. I haven't given any much deeper thought into it. He got his arm during his 2 year escape of Unova and that's that.

Now, it's slightly different. For one, he never got the arm outside of Unova. That plot point was honestly shoehorned in so Alexis can come back to Unova with an arm like Elliot came back with a leg. So now he just. Doesn't have one when he comes back to Unova. I still think Alexis is very self conscious about it though, and that's the thing I wanted to talk about! I never thought much of how Alexis was doing away from Unova- I just thought " yeah it wasn't great". But now, I'm kinda thinking of how it wasn't great. And I realized " oh. Alexis' anxiety and depression are through the roof ". Cause think about it. He prematurely left the hospital that was supposed to help him recover. He left his family and friends without telling them. He's still recovering from the trauma that team plasma had put him through ( remember, Alexis is a nuzlocke protagonist). He's only 14! Alexis is not okay when he leaves and won't be even when he comes back. I was literally just thinking like. How he constantly feels like people are looking at him when he walks. Looking at his arm, or lack of one. Always whispering and pointing, and suddenly the eyes are red- Alexis doesn't like going in public because of that. Which sucks because the kid needs a lot of essentials that require you know. Talking. His pokemon can go in and get stuff for him, but then he'd risk of them getting taken. He could go in himself but people will stare at his arm and if they're not staring at his arm, they're staring at his cloak cause who wears a cloak in modern day. <- All of this is his anxiety talking. And he doesn't know how to deal with his anxiety without any of his usual support systems so it kinda just manifests into something worse.

And another thing- he's always moving. Even if people let him stay somewhere, he doesn't stay for long, leaving the next day. He doesn't know why he has to go. Maybe it's because he feels like a burden? Or maybe it's something knawing at him to keep going, to keep running. Either way, he just goes. It's an interesting contrast with Red, who literally stayed in one place for 3-4 years.

Elliot not being with him makes things so much harder too. This whole decision was made bc Elliot was leaving for her own recovery. He feels so much guilt over that- like wow dude, you just really care about your friends if you're so willing to leave them ( his depression talking ). Anyway, Elliot and Alexis have always been a pair. Even when they were apart for their journey, they always had each other. And now Alexis is all alone. Of course he has his pokemon, but I mean. Alone in the sense that he doesn't have one to talk to. Which is weird to say bc he's actively ignoring his phone device. It's pretty funny- the desire to be alone clashing with the desire to be around people you love. Every time the need to keep running away wins but the desire to see them again keeps popping up.

Going into his arm, I still think Alexis wants his arm to be "normal" again. I don't think he makes the choice to have an arm and cover that with a glove - that was a dumb choice from me lmao. Rather he gets one that looks like his old one. That should make him feel better, right? Well. Uh. It doesn't. Cause he knows it's not his old arm. He knows it's not flesh and blood and even if he doesn't feel as bad as he did before, the arm bothers him a bit. Eva's modifications do wonders ( making it a bit lighter, able to deal with his electricity), but ...I dunno, if I'm being honest, I don't think Alexis exactly. Likes having a prosthetic arm. Which is weird- to him - because his anxiety during his 2 year escape from Unova was from the fact that he didn't have an arm- and now he has one! So why does it bother him. Despite that, his new arm is his uncomfortable lifeline. He doesn't take it off much, if not ever unless Elliot or his parents pester him to take it off ( specifically when he's about to go to sleep). He has reached his normalcy, a time where he didn't fuck up and caused a rift between him, his family and friends, and he didn't want to let that go even if he knew things are different. Again an interesting contrast with Elliot: Elliot likes her new leg. She thinks it gives her the freedom to do what she wants. Her crutches and wheelchair she had to really get used to ( even in b2w2, she was hesitant about using them bc she thought it would hinder her movement. Over time she grew to like/ appreciate them more though), but she was still adapting. Her life has changed, and even when it kinda sucks, she's taking her own steps forward! Alexis.... isn't doing that. And that really hinders his relationship with his friends, and especially Elliot.

After swsh I think Alexis just doesn't wear his prosthetic often as he used to, only wearing it when his anxiety is particularly bad or he just feels like wearing it. Again, he feels kinda bad bc the arm costs money and he isn't using it often but at that point, he's on the road to recovery and is honestly happier for it. He's okay with his arm. Eva helped with it, so it doesn't feel so distant and uncomfortable as it did before. Truthfully, it's kind of process of learning to life with and without his arm in a healthier manner but he gets there.

Aaaaaand yeah. I think that's everything I wanted to say- oh! His service Pokemon. Kai- his samurott - has actively tried to support her trainer, but she isn't exactly equipped to help him in that way. During the 2 year gap, it became obvious to her that Alexis needed someone that can help with his specific needs- preferably someone that can learn psychic. Again, over the years, Alexis grows accustomed to doing things with and without a prosthetic arm, but the extra support in that + his anxiety and depression was much needed. Kai still supports him- she's his starter of course she does - but it's nice seeing him get the support he needs by a pokemon trainer to do so.

#r rambles #oc: alexis jones #legendverse

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