#and when i say changed my life i mean rotted my brain and made a fictional man who will never love me the benchmark

[thefrogdalorian]

Din Djarin + Chapter 15: The Believer

#din djarin #din edits #my gifs #pedro pascal #star wars gifs #HAPPY THIRD ANNIVERSARY THE BELIEVER THE EPISODE THAT CHANGED MY LIFEEEEEE #and when i say changed my life i mean rotted my brain and made a fictional man who will never love me the benchmark #anyway #i miss him #din please come home the kids miss you #and when i say the kids i mean me and when i say miss i mean lie awake every night yearning #doing well

[keegansgf]

"bes camp counselor hcs"

my camp counselor drawings have been plaguing my brain but I always write headcanons before I ever write full fics. This was not proofread because I’m sleepy

Also I'm begging to request modern Mizu stuff, especially this camp counselor au :3 I wanna write silly slice of life again!!

pairing: mizu x fem! reader (other characters mentioned)

tags: pre-established relationship, summer camp au, modern au, band+uni au mentioned, fluff/overall silly stuff

Eiji owns the camp! He owns a couple of businesses here and there, but he offers kendo, iaido, and metalworking activities for all ages throughout summer– his day camp is for elementary kids though.

Before Mizu moved out to attend university, she helped around with Eiji's kitchenware business and helped out making kendo and iaido kits after school. She’s been doing her camp counseling gig since she was a teenager– of course, she still counsels when she visits Eiji for the summer.

She actually had no idea she could do this for volunteer hours until she found a brochure for it. She had to call Eiji to ask when he even started providing this

She considered going to visit Eiji alone in her first year of uni, but this time, she took you, Taigen, Akemi, and Ringo with her!

Mizu actually talked to you first about going back to her hometown to visit Eiji and help out with counseling, and you agreed, of course.

The rest of your friendgroup only learned about you and her leaving for the summer when you all went out to study together during the last month before summer break.

Akemi wanted to go due to her horrible seasonal depression– she'd rather have something to that isn’t just summer classes or rotting in the heat. She's just a snow princess, what can I say :(

Anyway, she thought the volunteer hours would be beneficial to her, so she asked if she could bring Taigen along.

Ringo also wanted to come for the volunteering– it would also give him an excuse to cook without destroying his personal budget. He also didn’t have anything to do over the summer, and would rather do something with the people he cares about instead of staying at his dorm or going home.

Mizu decided on getting there by doing a road trip but she absolutely refused to have anyone but you in her car– I mean, you're literally her beloved girlfriend! She doesn't want to hear any bickering from the rest of her friends– not for three or four hours while she's behind the wheel.

She’s so serious when it comes to prepping for road trips, but she does it all so quickly. Somehow she had the car all packed while you were getting ready.

Mizu doesn’t really need to take breaks as she drives, but if you wanted to take a nap, she’s already packed a few pillows and blankets for you to use.

Eiji's camp isn't an overnight one, so Akemi made arrangements to stay at a nearby apartment with Taigen. She didn't want Ringo to stress about finding a place to stay, so she got a place for him just next door in the same building.

Mizu's old room was big enough for the both of you, so she just called ahead to ask Eiji if it was okay if you stayed with her. He didn't mind– you had met before anyway, and he approved of you

You all got there a week before orientation day to get your equipment, clean, and debrief with Eiji

He had a set schedule for everybody with backup plans set up incase if there needed to be changes, but otherwise, you'd know what to do with the notes he made. He wouldn't be around much to help out since he'll be occupied with the kendo and iaido groups. He'll be there every morning for announcements though

Orientation day went smoothly; Eiji gave his greetings and introduced all of you to the kids– they were no older than elementary students. After he finished his speech and introductions, he let you all read off your attendance list to get your groups

Mizu made sure your groups rooms were nearby beforehand– luckily, everyone's rooms were in or at least near the same hallway.

Akemi absolutely adored her group! First, they were all girls, second, they all loved her! Eiji made it a requirement to wear bandanas on field trips so it's easier to spot staff and campers. Akemi sets aside time before they leave to do a few of the kids hair if they'd like their bandanas incorporated into a cute hairstyle. She wanted to get the kids into reading, so she made sure to bring a fully charged kindle everyday to read some of her favorite child friendly literature with a bit of poetry here and there. They didn't understand most of the poems, but she appreciates the effort they made to listen to her

Taigen is an instigator. It doesn't matter if they're literally 10 year olds– he'll unintentionally and intentionally instigate during activities. His group likes him and he likes his group, but they get competitive as hell when it comes to being as cool as him. He wanted to try to teach the kids how to play ultimate frisbee until he noticed how competitive they could be— it was best for him to put it off.

Kids rarely ever hate Ringo, so of course his group loved him. They act up occasionally– not intentionally since they're literally children, but they feel deep guilt when they upset Ringo because of their activity. Ringo especially likes doing high energy activities with his group first so they'll be tired out after lunch.

Mizu's group is kind of terrified of her because of how quiet she can be, but they think she's really cool. When she isn't doing activities, she's sitting at a table in her room to monitor her group while she reads here and there. She set up some coloring pages on the same table, so of course, a few kids were going to sit with her. She isn't bad at talking to kids, she just doesn't think she's interesting to them. Even if she's relatively blunt, the kids still think she's the coolest! They just have no idea how to get closer to her.

On field trips, Eiji usually drives one bus and gets a few other instructors from his martial art courses to drive another if needed.

Kids will fight to sit next to Mizu. A few kids from her group deeply disliked you for a brief period of time just because you would always sit next to her. Mizu thought it was funny seeing you distraught over their disapproval, but planned to merge your groups soon enough just so they got to know you better.

Akemi likes merging her group with Taigens on field trips just so she can take embarrassing pictures of him. He doesn't find out about those pictures until he checks her stories after the day ends.

All of you dread zoo, museum, and aquarium trips. It's always so frustrating compromising for each of the kids when they want to see something– especially when they get fussy. Mizu often asks for you to watch her group for a second while she sneaks off to the gift shop to buy you something

She does that on non-field day trips too actually. She'll ask Ringo and Akemi to take your groups during lunch every once in awhile so she can take you out on a little lunch date. The kids tease the hell out of you when you come back hand in hand, singing that y/n and Mizu kissing in a tree song. You both think it's cute until Mizu had enough of hearing it.

Akemi absolutely has favorites. One of the little girls she looks after is just a mini Akemi and she loves her dearly. On one swimming trip, she brought a few of her expensive sun care products and the girl asked her what she was using. She gave a detailed explanation of each product and offered to give her a little of the gentle products that were safe for her skin. For every other field trip, she's the first in line to get her hair done

Ringo is so over prepared for everything. He keeps a bag full of supplies of any sort in one of the buses, and in his room. Medical supplies, allergy free snacks, chargers, you name it.

The band made sure they brought their instruments with them (since they couldn't just stop practicing for an entire summer) and Eiji figured the kids would think a show would be nice. Mizu didn't want to carry this out since it would be a pain to set up, but Eiji just up and left before she could give her reasons to give up this idea.

Akemi and Ringo were thrilled to show the kids their instruments after their little show. Akemi had a few kids around her teaching them scales on her keyboard, letting them practice if they'd like and Ringo let a few kids play with his drums as long as they promised to be gentle.

Mizu and Taigen were reluctant to let any kids touch their instruments. Mizu also had to make the bass ≠ electric guitar speech too many times for her liking, even if her corrections were just "no, this is called a bass," "it's a bass," or "Taigen's is an electric guitar, this is a bass guitar."

#do it like dior #do it like dior. #keegansgf #blue eye samurai camp counselor au #blue eye samurai #blue eyed samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #taigen blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai taigen #taigen #mizu #ringo #akemi #bes akemi #bes mizu #bes taigen #bes ringo #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu x reader #bes mizu x reader #mizu x you #mizu x y/n #modern taigen #modern! taigen #modern! akemi #modern akemi #modern! mizu #modern mizu #modern! ringo

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

this is halloween || felix x reader

Summary: Felix's world is filled with nightmarish, energy-stealing creatures that others cannot see. In this cold, dark world that's made him who he is, you're the only thing that's warm and bright.

Word count: 4k

Genres: and they were roommates, urban fantasy

Warnings & Tags: angst, bad boy!felix (ish), non-descriptive sex scene (rated M), hurt/comfort (i think?), horror themes though nothing gets too explicit, potentially disturbing descriptions of monsters

A/N: Third installment in my Halloween mini-series, or: the author has whump!felix brain-rot and insists on making it everyone else's problem

I.N. · Seungmin

Felix walks like he has nowhere to go and no one to come home to. Hands in his pockets, shoulders lax, leaning back, lollipop stick between his lips, leisurely pace, eyes straight ahead. He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world, not in a light-hearted, innocent, naïve way, but in a nonchalant, bored, cynical approach. Truth be told though, you would be closer in saying that the world does not care for him. Of that he’s well-aware.

He sees it in the looks he get by the well-meaning, law-abiding citizens that naturally make way for him, scared away by his long, bleached blonde hair, his ripped jeans or his leather jacket. He heard it in the whispers about the ‘problem child’, his mother’s crying, all of his teachers’ stern tone as they told him he needed to stop causing issues. He felt it in the way people tense around him, in how they changed their attitude once the atmosphere he brought with him everywhere he went settled on them and started eating at them the same way it cannibalized on him.

More than anything, he knows the world does not care because, as the tentacles of the creature that latched on to him earlier today tighten on his shoulders, as he crosses path with a disembodied, rotting ghoul that leaves a trail of mold behind it, as he notices from the corner of his eyes the nightmarish swirl high up in the sky of bat-like hope-eaters, if the world did care, he would not have been cursed with the ability to see all of these things when no one else did.

He rolls one of his shoulders, trying to make the grip looser. It works, barely, but all he can do is hope that it didn’t spark the creature’s interest. If there’s one thing he’s learned, in his years of life with this this accursed talent, it is that it is never a good idea to catch their interest. It’s not like there are no ways of getting rid of them once you do, but the ones he’s found have always been long and painful and he’s not in the mood for fighting tonight.

He picks up the pace to make it to the other side of the street, and gets a rush of fresh air when, for a second, the entity lets go of him. It doesn’t last. It gets its hold back on him, and he grits his teeth to make it less obvious how aware he is of it. Other people don’t realize it when those things happen, not as acutely. They get tired, they get depressed, they might get sick, but they don’t know. He does.

It’s no trouble for him to get into the building he was headed towards. The crowd of people in disguises doesn’t resist him any more than that of the commuters. Behind him, the entity shrinks itself to follow him inside. He doesn’t look up at it, doesn’t want to. The disgusting mass of tentacles that part only to reveal a wide mouth filled with too many teeth aren’t any worse than the shit he deals with every day, but it’s not a sight you get used to. Not fully.

He climbs the stairs that are filled with drunk college students, chatting college students, laughing college students. Some of them have gone heavy on the make-up, but none of them, not even the ones that tried their hardest to paint gaping wounds on their faces, get close to his  reality. It’s probably better off that way.

Finally, he gets to the apartment for the party you’ve asked him to come to. Well, that’s not exactly how it went — you said ‘I’d love it if you were here’, ‘You don’t have to’, and when you’d last seen him ‘I’ll see you tonight?’ in a hopeful tone that had gone right to his heart. He gets some looks as he gets in. Some of them are interested ones. He’s well-aware that people find him attractive, that the energy that surrounds him works as a magnet on some. He also knows that it doesn’t do people any good to be around him. It’s not long before the creatures start wearing them down, digging black circles under their eyes, hollowing their cheeks. Turns out, Felix is shockingly resistant to all that shit, insistent on surviving it. Ha. What a fucking joke.

He finds you on the edge of a room, chatting with a few people. You’re dressed as a witch, long black dress, hoops earrings, a black, pointy hat on your head. Your signature big, round glasses, are perched on your nose.

When you spot him, you wave him over, and he comes without giving it a second thought.

“You made it!” you chirp. You wrap one of your hands around his arm to pull him in the small circle, and he almost shivers at your touch. You’re warm. Felix’s world is cold, energy sucked out of it by more monstrous beings that he’ll ever meet. Other people are always warmer than he is. The difference is, you don’t get drained around him. “That’s Felix,” you introduce him to the others. “My roommate.”

Felix sees their faces light up in recognition. Obviously, they've heard about him before. There’s a short round of introduction from their side before they resume to their previous conversation.

“I’m getting something to drink,” he tells you, leaning in to speak in your ear, both because he likes the way you react and because the music’s so loud. “You want some?”

A smile, you shake your head. Your hand brushes against his back as he leaves and fuck, it’s embarrassing that he knows that this is what will keep him going. He glances in your direction as he walks away, checking that nothing that was following him has attached itself to you. It hasn’t. There’s an entity curled lazily against the ceiling, dipping long, skinny tentacles around the room, feeding on the energy, but you and your group seem to be mostly left alone. It makes him feel more relieved than it should, and he hates that he knows it’s less because you’re safe and more because he thinks it would kill him if he lost your warmth and the safety you provide him.

You’d come in his life as a blessing with no warning. He had recently been evicted and was couch-surfing in other people’s apartments when Wooyoung had first mentioned your name to him. You had a free room, he’d said. You were looking for a new person to fill it, he’d said. You were ‘a bit shy, but sweet’, he’d said. Felix had not thought for a second that it would work out. It never did. He’d be lucky if he found a one-bedroom apartment with no heating in the shittiest area of the city.

Then he’d met you and had immediately distrusted your soft, distant attitude, the way you wouldn’t meet his eyes and how you shrunk yourself around him. You wouldn’t last, he thought, but since you didn’t oppose his presence, he had accepted the offer. Even if you threw him out two weeks later, that was two weeks of security that he usually wasn’t afforded.

That had been a year ago now.

As he grabs himself a beer — he’s learned the hard way that it’s better to stay sharp when you’re affected by his, ah, condition — he finds it hard not to find you in the room. No matter how much he tries, his eyes always land back on you. The only way to escape you is to move to another room, so he does, because he finds it fucking embarrassing, how affected he is by you, and because he never loses the nagging fear that the things that follow him around will latch on to you.

When he lands on the couch, he feels the creature tightening his grip on his arms. He grits his teeth as the cold bites him harder, as everything feels a little darker around him. Shit, that thing isn’t letting up. He takes a sip of beer, ignores the gargoyle perched on a girl’s shoulder, the imp lying on a dude’s head. He’s been long forced into indifference about these things. He can’t make a difference anyway, he’d know, he’s tried it before, so why bother? He doesn’t know them, and they’d leave him to die in the gutter if they were given the chance. He won’t dedicate a second of the energy he could use on saving himself on them.

There’s a blur of time and movement, before, eventually, you fall on the couch next to him, and his world takes colors again.

“Long day?” you ask with a sympathetic frown.

He scoffs. He only ever has long days.

“Yeah,” he just says. “You?”

A shrug.

“It was fine, actually. I’m just… not a huge Halloween fan.”

The mundane of the conversation is such a hard punch to the gut. He’d talk about how his day’s gone and how you feel about things all the goddamn time if he could.

“Why not?”

You lean closer against him, your shoulder brushing against his. He shifts so the creature doesn’t touch you. He should move away completely, he knows, that’d be the safe thing to do. He just doesn’t have the strength for it.

“It feels a bit like a circus,” you say, sounding pensive. “I get that people want to enjoy a party though, it’s not that deep, just— my family’s pretty big on traditions, it’s a big symbolic date for them. It’s weird to see other people treat it so differently, but it’s just my hang-up, you know. I don’t want to make it anyone else’s problem.”

It’s one of those things you keep bringing up, this nebulous part of your life, the ‘family’ that he’s never seen around. You’re not on speaking terms, as far as he knows, but you never bring them up, and he doesn’t ask. It’s funny, how you’re the one who visibly walks on egg-shells at all times yet he’s sure he’s more afraid of losing you than you him.

Then his phone vibrates in his pocket. He wishes he could ignore it, but it’s not a luxury he has these days. One glance at the screen, and he feels his heart freeze over. He looks up, and on the other side of the room, there’s Hyesung, staring and with a tight, forced smile on his lips. He would look perfectly inconspicuous, a young man in a sea of young people, if not for the winged demon hovering above him, its tentacles reaching out towards different members of the crowd. Unlike the entities Felix has seen around on his way here, this one is more defined, closer to representations of demons you find in human art. He knows that these things are far more of a threat than the abominations like the one feeding off of him right now.

Shit. Shit. Felix wasn't supposed to run into anyone from that group tonight. He was supposed to be around you, and normal people, and get to fucking breathe. But now, not only has Hyesung seen him, but he's looking at you with intrigued eyes, and that's about the worst thing that could happen.

Felix stands up, grabbing your hand to pull you with him.

“Let's go home,” he throws to you over his shoulder as he starts pushing his way through people without paying much attention to them.

“Already?” you ask, confused, though you don't resist him. “But you just got here.”

It wouldn't be a lie if he told you that as far as he's concerned, he saw you, which was all he cared about, but he doesn't say that.

“Not a huge fan of this crowd,” he says instead, which isn't a lie either, considering Hyesung is part of it.

“Oh,” is your answer, right as you reach the door to the apartment. Just a few more steps and you'll both be out of here, and able to find a better place to be.

If fucking Hyesung didn't appear in front of it with that superior, fake smile again.

“Long time no see, Felix,” is the first thing that make it past his lips, and Felix hears the jab for what it is. It's true that he hasn't showed up at the Headquarters in a while, true, too, that he hasn't participated much in Venom's activities as of late. Hasn't wanted to, nor felt the need to do it. When he'd joined, he had been enticed by the promise of a place free of the monsters. Knowing that he'd have to do some unsavory stuff to get it had seemed a low, low price to pay then.

A price that hadn't stopped growing since. He'd taken the wrong bargain, and now he couldn't back out. It'd be fine; he'd pay it again, he'd pay twice the price later on. He had no illusions on his ability to escape punishment. Others might have that kind of luck, but he didn't, he never had.

He just had to make sure that you wouldn't be around when he paid for it.

When Hyesung tilts his head to get a better look at you and his lips stretch out into a wider smile, one that is unsettlingly cheerful.

“Hi, I don't think we've met, I'm—”

“Yeah,” Felix interrupts him, taking a threatening step towards him without letting go of you. “You haven't met.”

Hyesung's expression shifts. Above him, the demon gives a lazy flap of wings. Felix doesn't have long.

He feels you squeeze his hand, and your silent support allows him to breathe in again. He hasn't even explained anything to you, yet you're giving him your trust, and that makes him feel like he can fly. Which is more or less the kind of miracle he's going to need if he wants to make it out of here.

Demons, like the kind hanging above Hyesung's head, are somewhat able to interact with the physical world. The others are here, but they can't do anything, can't move objects, definitely can't make humans do things. Demons... might. It's not true of all of them, but Felix suspects that Hyesung's climbed the hierarchy within Venom high enough that his companion is one of the powerful ones. It makes him dangerous. It also makes him easier to outrun.

He tightens his grip on you. He can only hope you're ready.

“I'm just trying to make a new friend!” Hyesung says with dishonest warmth. “You know, we're always looking for people to join—”

When Felix's fist catches him in the jaw, he really, really should have seen it coming. After pulling that kind of shit, it's 100% on him if it caught him by surprise. It seems to, since he stumbles back as conversations around you quiet down and all eyes focus on the three of you — the three of you others can see, that is. Felix has no intention of sticking around to entertain though, and next thing he knows, he's running.

He feels the brush of the demon, feels the mouthy abomination's tentacle push him off as if to say 'hey that one's mine', which, ha, isn't that ironic. He doesn't doubt that the demon could kill the other thing in a fight, but it slows him down enough that, when Felix flies down the stairs with you in tow, it's not right behind him, and that's all he needs. It's not his first rodeo.

You certainly keep up surprisingly well, considering this isn't a daily occurrence for you. You also don't seem to hesitate as Felix darts into an alley way and presses you against a door. He doesn't have long, the abomination makes him too easy to spot, but that doesn't mean he's going to drag you with him.

“Go back to the apartment,” he orders, urgency in his voice. “Don't go back in there, okay? I'll meet you there.”

“But what about—”

“I've got this,” he promises, and no matter how tired he gets, it's still the truth. He's always made it out okay. There's no reason for this to be any different.

“Be careful,” you whisper. He wishes you hadn't, because, fuck, how he's supposed to not give in now?

He kisses you, hard and rough, tries to get everything he can out of that stolen moment. You're soft and warm against him. He wants to melt into you and never have to step foot into his life again. Instead, he tears himself from you as you gasp for air.

“Go home,” he tells you again, and then he takes off. The demon takes the bait, passes by you without even seeing you, and Hyesung isn't far behind.

As Felix runs for his life, the thought that in doing that, he's keeping you safe, gives him, for the first time in forever, someone to run home to.

It's late when he makes it back to the apartment. His legs carry him more out of habit than through conscious thought — of that, he doesn't have much left. A fresh burn, left by the demon, runs over his forearm. Over him, the abomination's worse for the wear, but it's refused to let go of him through the entirety of the run, and it fought like hell to keep him to himself, when the demon briefly caught up.

Eventually, Felix managed to lose him by barreling through one of these tight alleys filled with shops. The obstacles both on the floor and in the air had allowed him to effectively get rid of both the demon and the human and as far he knows, they don't know where he lives. Not yet anyway. He didn't know how long he still had for that. He knows that he can't let that aspect of his life catch up with you but, fuck, he thinks it just might kill him. To know that he had you and to now lose you again— he doesn't know how he's supposed to ever get over it.

His feet slowly take him up the stairs, dragging more and more until finally he grabs the doorknob. Almost immediately, the door's pulled open, and you're there, standing in front of him, taking him in, eyes searching his face first, then the rest of his body. Finally relief overtakes you and you pull him inside.

Behind him, the tentacles snap one by one as he walks through the door. The last few ones still holding on break off when the door closes. That is another one of the miracle, one he cannot explain. Going to sleep used to be the worst part of his day, the one when he knew he'd have to close his eyes despite the fact that the monsters were all around him, feeding off of him. He'd have to feel his energy being slowly depleted as he laid there, desperate for sleep to take him so he could wake up without feeling rested.

The monsters never come in here. He doesn't know why. It's not quite the first time he's seen it; clearly some people are less targeted than others. As far as he's concerned, you are the one that keeps the monsters at bay, and that's why, as your hands reach up for his face like you want to check that he really is there, that he's safe, whispering quiet 'thank you's under your breath he, once more, cannot hold back.

His fingers wrap around your wrists, because he'll crumble if you keep touching him like that, and he kisses you again. He's got less adrenaline in his system, so it's not as harsh as the previous one, and you meet all of his desperation with softness. You intertwine your fingers with his, let him take the lead. You whimper when one of his cold hands sneaks under your shirt, brushing against the hot skin of your stomach.

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your lips, without taking his hand off, and then he kisses you again.

You both stumbles through the hallway before your back hits the door to your room. That is always where the two of you end up on nights like these. Not that he gets chased home that often, but on the nights when he just can't resist the thought of having you, it's on your bed that the two of you come crashing down. Neither of you ever speaks of these nights. He makes sure he's gone by the time you wake up, and he's not in a situation where he can be the person you deserve. You have nothing to do in his world anyway, you're an anomaly, a miracle that a God who took pity on him must have wanted to send his way.

He always wonders if you know how badly he cares, if you know you're the only one for him. He wonders if he should tell you he loves you, or if it would be unfair to you, when he knows he won't stay around in your world for long.

So as he strips you of your clothes with feverish hands, presses biting kisses against your neck while you arch into him, whines and whimpers falling from your lips, he does his best to let you know. 'I love you', his careful movements say as he kneels between your legs. 'I love you', his eyes when he takes in your panting silhouette. 'I love you', his open-mouthed kisses trailing down all over your body.

He revels in the way your body trembles under his tongue, and when he finally pushes into you with a grunt, no matter how much he tries to keep himself from falling deeper into you, he can't help it anymore. You push yourself on your elbows, fingers tracing his jaw, and you pull him in for a kiss, and Felix is just gone. You're too soft, too caring, too good for him.

Later, with his arm wrapped around you, while you're lying on his chest and he's letting his fingers run over your back, he hears his own voice rise up in your room.

“You're not going to ask? About earlier?”

There's a long silence. He wonders if you've fallen asleep.

“Do you want me to?” you ask after long seconds have passed by, your voice quiet.

He— He's not sure, if he's being honest. He, selfishly, wants you to care. He wants you to want to know. But if you do, if you find out about everything that crawls and flies and walks in this world by your side without you being able to see them, if you're pulled in his world in worse ways, it will only ever hurt you. No good can come out of it.

He's mulling over it when you look up at him.

“If you tell me, you'll regret it when you wake up.”

There's such sadness in your voice that he feels like he's just been kicked in the chest. He's sure that you're talking about how he flees in the morning, how he never talks about these late nights, how distant he can be. He doesn't want you to feel that way. He doesn't want you to think, even for a second, that it's your fault.

Because it's all too much, because he can't tell you all that, because he knows the words will come out all wrong if he tries, he kisses you again, and he can only pray that you can tell from the strength of it, from how he cradles your face. You let yourself sink into his kiss and into his arms.

“I never regret it,” he tells the room much, much later, in the dead of night, when your breathing is even. And his voice cracks when he tests the way other words sound said aloud for the very first time.

“I love you.”

so this felix is very similar to my jealousy, jealousy felix but this is a story that i've had in mind for an eternity. i absolutely loved writing it, felt fun going for something outside of my comfort zone. i don't know yet if i'll write more for this universe. would love to know your thoughts on it since this story was very precious to me, and if you don't feel like leaving a comment, please consider reblogging to help the story circulate <3

permanent taglist: @lethallyprotected @jisuperboard

#felix x reader #lee felix x reader #lee yongbok x reader #stray kids imagine #skz imagine #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #felix imagine #felix angst #stray kids angst #skz angst #candywrites

[grapejuicestyless]

No One Wants To Die In The End.

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: United through grief, Harry and Y/n have to navigate the same fates they witnessed as young children as understanding adults. After all, no one wants to die in the end, we can only hope death comes easy for us.

“Has anyone ever survived beyond the death rattle breathing?”

I hear my mother ask in a hushed tone, the nurse who came to send my grandma away giving her a tight lipped smile.

I sit on the bed pretending not to be able to hear them, pretending the sound of my grandma choking on her own saliva is normal and the staggering of her breathing between heavy wheezes isn’t concerning while I tell her all about what I learned in fourth grade.

She doesn’t remember me, not much anyway. Ever since the illness started taking pieces of her brain, I’ve been stuck in time. She only knows my name now, and my mom warned me on the way here today not to cry if she couldn’t even remember that. It was her illness forgetting, not my beloved grandma.

Mom says she loved me with all my heart, and that once the illness passes through her, she’ll remember me again fondly. I’ll get to tell her all about my life and growing up and she’ll understand what I’m talking about. She won’t give me the blank stare she does now while I hold her hand, and her skin won’t be so frail.

“We usually recommend getting everything in place by the end of the day. Gather her papers and say your goodbyes. We can’t guarantee anything with how much longer she’ll hold out for.” The nurse says, and though my mom doesn’t cry, I can see her skin hugging her throat constricting it and the soft fluttering of her wet eyelashes.

My mom pulled me away soon after, telling me to say goodbye. This time felt different though, even at age nine I knew that. So I told my grandma I’d be back, even if I wasn’t sure just because it always made her smile, and I promised to keep dancing around in my pajamas before breakfast like she loved.

That day at school, the one after I left my grandma with hundreds of promises to live freely and trust with my heart, I found my mother sat out on the front steps by our old white porch with her head in my hands.

“Hi mama. Can I go to Megans?” I had asked her cheerfully, excited about seeing my best friend, my neighbor and my sister.

Mom had this sad look in her eyes, one that told me to come close without her having to say it. And as I stood between her bent knees and felt her hands on my hips, I saw her shake her head.

“Y/n/n, grandma didn’t make it, baby.” She declared softly, and at the time I didn’t know how to process it, the idea of someone being gone forever. As mom told me how she had only left for a minute to go home and shower and came back to my grandma unresponsive in her sleep, I didn’t think about the fact that my grandma’s laugh would fade with the years, but rather how sad it was that she had to go alone. I prayed selfishly under my breath that I would have someone’s hand to hold when I went, that my rotting body would mean more than any shower ever could.

I didn’t tell mom this, my feelings on the death of grandma, the death of her mom, so I did what I knew how to do best, and I ran, begging softer this time to be able to go across the street just until dinner.

When I got there, I was greeted by Megan, and she looked sad. That’s how most people in my life seemed to look these past few hours, ever since the way my grandma breathed changed.

She pulled me into a hug and cried on my shoulder, promising to be there for me always, that it would get better. At the time I didn’t get it, why my best friend as a child would feel so much grief for a woman she barely knew, how she could feel so much more than I did, but grief hits differently in every person, I wished that someday I’d be able to process it openly instead of suppressing it somewhere I’d never find it. I wished that someday I’d learn how to cry.

Grandma didn’t get a funeral, they stuffed her ashes into a pretty vase with golden birds and her favorite flowers and held the wake early in the morning. Most of her friends I’d never met. It was a small service, a slow one. I spent most of my time playing hide and seek with my cousins and stealing the mints the funeral home left out for guests while my mother cried shaking each guests hand.

“How should we send out the letters?” My mom whispered to my father quietly, like it was something she didn’t want her children to know about.

“What’s the difference? Word spreads fast about people like him.”

People like him, that’s how my dad worded it. People like him, veterans who fought in a war they couldn’t even remember by the end of their lives and refused to replace the old wood paneling on their living room walls from the eighties.

My grandpa was the definition of people like him, he had lived enough lives to grow in white hairs by fourteen years old. Fighting alongside Elvis in the war and dancing with his dying wife in the afternoon.

I never met grandma, my dad said cancer took her before I was born, he says that’s why my name is the way it is, she picked it. But, I did meet grandpa.

He had white hair and a soft stomach from all the Swedish meatballs he made in his spare time. War does funny things like that to a man, make someone so against cooking love the simplicity of it, the safety of food consuming him.

I never really liked his Swedish meatballs, I didn’t like how he made them without sauce, when I was ten my world revolved around marinara sauce.

When I was twelve years old, I remember missing the softness of my grandpas stomach when he hugged me and the lingering smell of Swedish meatballs in his kitchen at dinner time. Which was weird because I never liked it before, but maybe my nose had changed while grandpa was changing in his own ways.

Cancer seemed to run in the family, something that was so small nobody ever suspected it was invading their bodies until the doctors became frantic to get it out.

My grandpa has bright white hair before his treatment, and small silver glasses perches on his swollen nose while he sat in his old brown chair and watched his grandkids school plays through the CD’s my parents would send him.

What a lonely life to live as he got older. The death of his wife and the absence of his grandchildren as they became less and less interested in family time and more focused on running outside freely with their friends.

I was so sidetracked I didn’t even know when grandpa died right away. Not until my father sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch where I laid with my mother rubbing his back slowly, a heavy look on his wrinkled face.

“Grandpa passed last night, Harry. He loved you very much.”

I didn’t cry as my father spoke, simply nodding before walking to my room to toy with my baseball cards and gameboy. I didn’t cry thinking about his passing, which confused me because I was twelve. I understood what death meant and how there was no one who had the power to reverse it, but I felt incapable of crying.

I went to school the next morning like my parents hadn’t told me the news, and my history teacher pulled me out into the hall during second period. He looked sad for me, his hands on my shoulders as he told me he would give me all the time I needed, not to try snd jump back into normalcy during such a tough time.

It made me feel embarrassed, which felt weird considering the context. I felt fine, completely indifferent to something I should have been breaking down over. But I guess grief is weird like that, and I wish I had the strength to be weak.

Grandpa had a big funeral, open casket with formal attire. He didn’t look like grandpa with all that makeup on him. I wanted to open his eyelids to see the colors in his eyes one last time. But that’s unacceptable to do, so I simply kneeled by the casket and prayed for him.

A big black limo took us from the boiling hot church to the graveyard where uniformed men loaded their guns and fired at the sky in honor of my grandpa. The smoke smelled like the low tide at the beach, and some people I’d never seen before sobbed a few rows behind me.

A lot of people showed up for grandpa, veterans from around the country and school friends from when he still had all his youth. Looking around at the crowd, I hoped I too would be able to make such a big impact on so many people. I selfishly prayed under my breath that one day I’d too have a large funeral. That people would care enough to come and cry for me because I would matter that much.

“When did you find out?” Harry asked softly, his large hand capturing mine in a paw-like grip over my knuckles.

I swallowed, wondering when I suspected it in comparison to when I finally got the guts to ask someone for help.

“I’ve known for a while, probably since I was nine. It runs in the family, you know? All these health issues that eat away at our brains?” I laughed, but neither of us found it funny, not when I ran my fingers through my hair to calm down and chunks cane out between my knuckles.

“I just thought I’d be gifted more time, thought biology would be kinder to my bones.”

Harry looks at me with a broken stare, one that hits me in the heart. We both tear up, but neither of us cry. We are our parents, we are the spitting image of them sitting us down to break the news. But at least they went peacefully, right? I know no peace, but still I don’t cry for myself, I feel too pathetic to even try.

“Did I do something wrong?” I ask, looking bitterly at the youthful green eyes in front of me, how his curly hair seems even more vibrant than nearly a decade ago. He ages backwards and I am already one foot out of the door.

Harry shakes his head.

“You did everything right.” He tells me, fingers pulling the hair from my hands to hide it behind his back.

“Then why do I feel like I have?”

“Nobody wants to die in the end, Y/n/n. It’s a game of chance, each day we live we gamble on how long we have left. Some people search for that end and others stumble on it accidentally, it’s just the chances.”

When he puts it like that, it makes me feel even worse, knowing how quickly I’ll be gone. How I’ve failed my future children I’ll never get to have, my husband who would have loved me I’m sure, and my poor old dog who waits by the food bowl only to find it empty each day I’m gone.

“I don’t like these chances.” I laugh with tears in my eyes, hands holding onto his as our forehead touch, my best friend holding me like no one ever has, not even Megan, who had long grownup into a woman I barely knew, a friend who drifted from me when we were thirteen and cried to her mother about how she missed me when she was sixteen.

Megan held me when my grandma died that day when I was nine, and I was confused as to why she was so sad, but with Harry holding me now, I understand it all better.

“I’m only twenty nine, Harry. At least my grandmothers dementia took away the intense pain of remembering what she was leaving behind.”

“And she lived not knowing who her daughter was for the rest of her life. She must have been so alone.”

I look down at my lap, my palms still pressed against his.

“I’d never forget you, even if my memory starts to go. I’ll never forget you because you’re too important to forget.” Harry smiles when I say that, pulling his hands away from mine to tap his chest quietly.

“And I’d never forget you, even when I’m old and crazy. I’ll keep photos of us on my walls and talk to them when I get bored.” He promised me, the dull light from the sun making the once lavish room feel less like a clean living room and more like a cold hospital.

As the months pass, my hair has been traded for one of Harry’s favorite hats. My shirts switched out for backless gowns with blue dots on the paper like material. My arms are not decorated with the same ink as Harry, but wires and tubes that come from the table beside my hospital bed.

I am twenty nine, but I must look about sixty now with how tired I am from simply trying to steal back the life that was ripped from me unfairly.

And as I fight to keep up with the beeping of the monitors hooked up beside me, I feel my throat rejecting my saliva and my sick coughs stuck behind my teeth.

I heat the same cracking sounds that my grandmother made when I was nine, and I feel relaxed knowing now that it doesn’t hurt to breathe this way, not right now anyway.

And in the silence I can hear an echo of my mother’s words from outside my door, her feminine voice exchanged for the deep one I’d grown rather fond of.

“Has anyone ever survived beyond the death rattle breathing?”

Harry asks in a hushed tone, the nurse different but her answer just the same.

“We usually recommend getting everything in place by the end of the day. Gather her papers and say your goodbyes. We can’t guarantee anything with how much longer she’ll hold out for.”

It’s happening again, the spirit leaving my bones to join everyone I’ve ever loved before, my father and my grandma. My mother and my old cousins. I only wished I didn’t have to leave Harry behind, I wished I could dance with him in our college dorms just one more time like we used to, and set fire to the box mac and cheese just one last time.

I remember everything about Harry, the nurse warning that my image of him might waver as my blood begins to slow under the skin. She tells him not to worry when my skin gets cold, it’s natural for people to cool down as their heart gives out.

Harry comes in and holds my hand, pretending the sound of my breathing doesn’t bother him and the sound of me choking on my own saliva is normal and the staggering of my breathing between heavy wheezes isn’t concerning while he swears to every single higher power he can think of that I’ll be okay.

And I believe him.

Because while he holds my hand in death, he’s fulfilled the one wish I prayed so hard for a a kid. The one selfish wish I made for myself in a time of need.

When I was nine, standing between my mothers legs with my nails between my teeth I prayed selfishly under my breath that I would have someone’s hand to hold when I went, that my rotting body would mean more than any shower ever could.

And here Harry was nearly two decades later, holding my hand and promising serenity in the afterlife.

What he doesn’t know is that I am one of the lucky ones. Even after my heart has stopped, I am given one last gift as an apology for such a short life. I am given an extra second of my brain living on, the soft cries of “I love you’s” from Harry the last thing I hear as my dying gasp is cut short from my death rattle breathing.

I have a small service, Harry and some college friends standing in line shaking the hands of the few guests who walk by to look at my body. My nephews and nieces place hide and seek with each other until the ceremony was over, mints stuffed deep in their pockets as they filed out of the funeral home like nothing had happened.

Being famous is weird, especially after a loved one has passed.

We send out prayers to the families of those affected, the media says, but how has the death of this person affected Harry? How has Y/n’s slipping away crushed him beyond belief? Will he dedicate his next album to her?

They don’t care about Y/n, they only care about how she makes a good headline for their companies, and it makes me sick to think about. How they profit off of my grief while I try to stop memorizing the sound of her broken sigh as she went.

I wonder if I was enough for her during her final days. If my touch was enough to cure her for just a brief second.

It’s no wonder I turned to move-on pills. Ones that lift me up and break me down further until I am face up on the bathroom floor we once shared, my eyes wide as I choke on my breathing and count how many times the lights multiply as I look up to the sky.

It’s not a shock that the headlines are out by the end of the day, the sirens enough to alert all of Hollywood of my dying dreams and my perfect execution.

My family stands in a line while they put my casket into the hearse, makeup on my face like they put on my grandpa, I dan barely recognize myself as I watch the funeral service from another space.

And as they bury me under the ground, the media announces their grief and well wishes to all that attended and the millions watching from their televisions.

As a kid, I hoped I too would be able to make such a big impact on so many people. I selfishly prayed under my breath that one day I’d too have a large funeral. That people would care enough to come and cry for me because I would matter that much.

But now that it’s happening, I only care for one thing, I only asked for one thing in the letter I left behind. Lay me beside my best friend, so I can keep holding her hand through death, and we can laugh in the afterlife like we did when we were healthy, happy, and together.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #yn x harry #harry x reader #harrystyles #harry styles #hslot harry #yn x harrystyles

[ghostofskywalker]

Where You're Meant to Be - 1

Will Turner/Fem!Reader

Words: 1,928

Summary: After being taken prisoner aboard the Flying Dutchman, you resent the men who have accepted your soul as repayment of another's debt, especially the Captain. It doesn't matter one bit that he's the most attractive man you've ever seen, not at all.

Flower and Meaning: frangipani || the strength to withstand tough challenges

Chapters: one || two || three || four

Note: my august work for the @yearofcreation2023 :) pirates of the caribbean have completely taken over my brain at present so this was so much fun to write!!

Year of Flowers Masterlist • Will Turner Masterlist

The ship was an ugly thing, if you did say so yourself. Now of course anyone would be critical of a ship they were currently being tied to the central mast of, but this one was especially unappealing. The sails looked to be made of woven seaweed, rotting as it hung limply from barnacle-encrusted masts, and the dreariness of the boat was only surpassed by the terrifying nature of its crew. There was an emptiness to the men’s eyes that you couldn’t describe, and although your captors were no longer part of the sea by their appearance, you could feel the strength of their rage with every rock of the boat. 

You had heard the stories, you knew what this vessel did and who its previous master was, but you couldn’t bring yourself to hold too much sympathy for the men who were tying you to the mast of their ship. They may also be trapped here, but at least they were able to move freely around the deck, while you were essentially nothing but a decoration against the wood.

You also held a special contempt for the crew because they were the reason you were here. While your life was nothing special and you worked in a nearby saloon serving beer and rum to all the questionable men the traversed through the doors, you enjoyed the fact that you resided on dry land. Now, your latest whirlwind romance had been nothing but a trick, and you were traded away to settle a debt with the devil that kept this ship moving. You hadn’t even met the current captain, and you had quite the barrage of insults planned for when you did. What kind of lowly piece of scum accepts another’s soul in place of the one that made the deal in the first place?

You could feel the ropes around your wrists tighten as you heard the sound of heavy footsteps echo across the floor, and the mysterious captain of the Flying Dutchman was revealed. Unfortunately for you, words of battle had already left your mouth before you got a chance to see how attractive he was. “I demand you free me this instant, you arrogant swine!” 

And by heavens was he attractive. With long hair that was kept out of his face by a gray piece of fabric, a single gold earring that shimmered in the moonlight and the bone structure that could only be described as beautiful, you suddenly weren’t feeling as combative as you were before. How dare he not be the grizzled, old, and decaying figure you were imagining from the moment you set foot on this boat? How dare the man who makes all the decisions around here, the one who had very clearly ruined your life, be so attractive? This just simply wasn’t fair. 

The captain let out a short laugh, and your eyes searched his face, taking in the way his hair fell across his shoulders and trying not to let that change your opinion of him. “And why the hell would I do that?” 

“Because you took an deceitful deal, and I was caught in the crossfires,” you responded sharply, refusing to let him intimidate you. “If there was any heart left in your chest, you would be searching for the man who tricked you into wiping his debt clean, not lashing me to this post and moving on with your life!” 

Another laugh, and this time the crew members on board joined in. “You see dearie, Will Turner ain’t got no heart,” one of the men said as he stepped up closer to you, and the pungent smell of his breath was enough to make you gag. “Not anymore at least.”

The captain, whose name you now knew, spoke before you had a chance to respond to the crewman’s strange comment. “It doesn’t matter,” he said sharply. “The deal’s been done, and that’s it.”

The conversation was done after that, it was clear that this man did not have any patience for you, and he moved along the ship. You however, did not take the affront lying down, and you continued to spit insults at every passing sailor, including the (unfairly) handsome captain. They all ignored you, and you were starting to wonder how on earth you were going to get out of this, because you had no intention of spending the rest of your life in what could only be described as hell. 

After a while, your anger morphed into a refusal to speak to anyone. When the captain offered you food, you took the bare minimum, the entire time wondering where exactly you stood in the cycle of life. If the stories were to be believed, all of these men were dead, condemned to crew the decaying corpse of the Flying Dutchman as she sailed the seas for eternity, but you weren’t dead (well, as far as you were aware). And yet you seemed to be protected, and when the boat fell beneath the waves, you could breathe. You refused to believe that it could be anything else but the heart of the ship itself, because there was no love lost between you and the Captain. 

Will Turner may be devastatingly handsome, but the two of you traded insults every time you spoke. You didn’t expect him to try to be your friend, but you would prefer it if you were allowed to walk free on the ship for more than just a few moments each day. The ship was nowhere near land, where were you going to go? Even if you did manage to make an escape without anyone realizing, you would only be dooming yourself, and then you would end up tethered here for real, the very thing you wanted to avoid at all costs. 

***

It felt like weeks had passed since you were first brought aboard, but the reality of the situation was that it had barely been three days. The sharp claws of final judgment had not yet sunk into your flesh, even though you felt like you should be dead by now. Each day you watched as the creaking ship supervised the movement of departed souls between the realms of the living and the dead, looking empty and lost as they boarded small boats of their own and joined the procession alongside those who died on land. 

At night, the ship traveled the seas, and sometimes you were able to make yourself believe that this voyage was normal, and that you weren’t trapped here, serving as collateral on a ship of the damned in the place of a man who did nothing but lie to you from the moment he first said hello. The stars that twinkled above you were a reminder of the good and beauty in the world, and even though you knew little of the constellations an d their meanings, you picked out shapes yourself, assigning them whatever significances happened to catch your mind at the time. 

It was during one of your heavenly searches that you were surprised to hear footsteps coming towards you. It seemed that the Dutchman never needed a crew member to keep watch at night, because in all the time you spent here, you had never seen another vessel (even the vessel that had brought you here was a crewman’s lifeboat). There must have been someone at the wheel, but you were facing away from that area of the ship, and had no way to know whether or not anyone was there. 

Annoyed that someone was interrupting your time alone, you looked down from the skies and glared right at the Captain. “What are you doing here?” you asked, a biting tone to your voice that he must have known all too well by now. 

But instead of the usual retort, Will Turner smiled. “I couldn’t sleep. What about you?” 

“Very funny,” you deadpanned, nodding down to your tied wrists. “I think you already know the answer.” 

“I could untie you,” he said, seemingly out of nowhere. 

You almost burst out laughing. “Wow, I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, I almost believe you.” 

“Do you really think so little of me?” Now his voice had a tinge of sadness to it, and you genuinely wondered if something was wrong, because this did not seem like the same man who had traded insults with you every time he passed, that had allowed for another man’s debt to be paid with your soul. 

“Do you really expect anything more?” you asked. “Or have you forgotten the entire reason I am here?”

There was a stretch of silence before he responded. “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “But I would like to make it clear that it wasn’t I who chose to accept the deal, but a member of the crew in my place.” 

“But surely you could have sent me back.” 

The ropes holding you to the mast of the ship fell away as he untied them, and then he responded. “That’s what I had every intention of doing,” he said. “Until you yelled at me the first time we met.” 

“So?” 

“Clearly you’re not a pirate, because then you would know that no self-respecting captain would allow his reputation to be called into question the way you did to me.” 

“You’re right, I am not a pirate,” you huffed, sitting down on top of a crate. “And I would like to return to land, Captain.”

“Very well,” he said. “But please, call me Will.” 

Deep down, you expected more of a fight, and it seemed almost too good to be true. “Why the change of heart?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve been stuck on this ship for days, we’ve been nothing but rude to each other, and all the sudden you’re untying me and telling me I can leave? It seems odd, that’s all.”

He sat down on a crate across from you, and you were able to look at him again. “I know what it’s like to be trapped on this ship, and I never intended for that to be your fate. No debt has been paid, and eventually I will claim the soul of the man who thought he could cheat death by sending another in his place.” 

There was a genuine emotion to his voice, and you actually believed in what he was saying. “Thank you,” you said, a smile crossing your face.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes before Will got up. “Why don’t you go get some sleep? I have a room separate from the others.” You stared at him with a confused look on your face, and he laughed. “I feel bad enough for trapping you here, the least I can do is offer you a bed to rest in. I don’t use it all too much anyway.”

He didn’t take no for an answer, and soon you were stepping into a small room below the deck of the ship. You could hear the cacophony of snores that signaled where the rest of the crew slept, but this room was completely empty, except for a decent sized cot, a small desk, and a couple bottles of rum in the corner. Compared to rough wood the ship was made of, the slightly scratchy bedding felt as if you were falling asleep on a cloud, and soon you had drifted off to dreamland, wondering whether or not this was all a dream. 

If it was, you didn’t really want to wake up.

- end of part one -

Series Taglist: N/A

if you want to know when i post a new fic, follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library!

#where you’re meant to be fic #will turner #will turner x reader #will turner x you #pirates of the carribean x reader #pirates of the caribbean fanfiction #orlando bloom x reader

[kentokrazy]

a/n: 🙈 this is terrible but my mind is rotting

ex-sorcerer!nanami kento x gn!reader

warnings: death, grief, could be considered toxic but not in my opinion

nanami kento's red flag

* i saw a tiktok edit so now i'm thinking about this

* but dating nanami kento, he's the perfect man

* brings you flowers

* walks closest to the street

* listens to you, like actually listens when you say things

* he always keeps a level head, during arguments, during stressful moments and even when he's upset

* when he dated in you he invested in you

* that means there are no big life changes made without talking about it

* his finances are even stricter than before, he's going to save every penny he can

* his eyes are on the housing market every other day, checking houses in malaysia and nicer neighborhoods

* if you so mention the idea of kids, he's got schools bookmarked, scribbles of life long plans

* he remembers anniversaries, holidays, birthdays

* but there's one thing

* one, small, tiny thing

* the littlest of red flags

* and if you didn't know him, it could've sent you running

* because nanami trusts you completely, he loves you deeply and wouldn't make this much of a change in his life if he didn't

* but if he could lock you away from all harm he would

* you can feel it when he holds your hand, when he doesn't stray from your side for more than a minute in public

* when he requested you share your location

* if you don't answer your phone when he calls, his heart seizes and his palms get sweaty

* when he doesn't get a single text from you, he can feel the rippling of an anxiety attack

* sometimes, if you sleep too stiffly, his fingers on your neck can stir you.

* he doesn't mean to be overbearing, not really, but can you blame him?

* at the ripe age of 17, he carried his best friends dead body back to his school

* and sometimes the nightmares reminding him of the fact aren't always haibara, sometimes they're of you

* those are the days he seems to be incredibly nervous, driving you to work with a hand on your thigh, picking you up, walking so close he might as well be a backpack when you go to the grocery store

* he doesn't trust others to get close on those days

* he was banned from the convenience store down the block

* nanami's left the sorcerer world for good this time, he has a good reason to do so

* but sometimes he can't help it if he notices a curse getting too close to you (or anyone he deems worth saving)

* sometimes he finds it hard to breathe, thoughts of what could happen to you when he's not around drown him, in those times all he can do is close his eyes, try to remember that those days are behind him

* and when that doesn't work, he calls you, leaves work early, finds you and just needs to feel you

* there are few days he cracks under the pressure, and those come months after shoving those feelings away but you can always see it coming

* he forgets things when those days come, not important things- no, but little things like drinking, eating, sleeping

* he lays down next to you, sure, his hand is somewhere on you but he just stares at the wall, the back of your head or the window

* his bags are deep, his hands are shaky and he becomes the husk you first met, where the only thing on his mind was money and forgetting

* but when he breaks it's bloody and red skin, his nails are bitten and fingers with hangnails

* his hair is tussled and his clothes are disorderly, tie discarded and sweat soaking the fabric of his shirt

* his eyes are watery and your phone is filled with missed calls and panicked messages

* a cool cloth and silent holding is the beginnings of piecing him together, brushing his hair out of his face and whispered assurances bring him back from the fog in his brain

* nanami is well spoken, polite and god forbid he use the wrong honorifics around you, but here he's choking, spitting up and crying, his hands are clutching you like he's not sure you're really there

* that's he's not sure he's real

* propping him up in the bathroom, washing his red skin and sitting with him ground him

* trying to remind him of his change, his growth and his safety

* nanami is a foodie, he prides himself on cooking the best food and buying the freshest vegetables he can find

* but his dirty secret is that on days when he can't stomach anything, can't do much but cry and worry and sometimes call an old student that reminds him of a friend to make sure they're okay, he likes one thing

* a cup of noodles that a friend used to buy is the one of the only things that he can digest, as much as he wishes it wasn't true

* there's a shelf full of them, tucked away from the rest of the world, and each time one gets used another takes it's place

* noodles with the side of a particular soda and a childhood candy stitches together the bleeding part of his heart

* and when that meal is over and his mental fight has exhausted him, nanami sleeps like a rock, for hours (once he slept for two days) he keeps his arms wound around you so tightly

* because his red flag is in the shape of his bleeding heart

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento #ex-sorcerer!nanami kento #god damn you tiktok #jjk x reader #nanami kento headcanons #bf!nanami kento

[jymwahuwu]

Don't worry I got plenty of rest, my days and nights are just flipped

I had a sudden brain rot and wanted to share a concept of a reader that's very go with the flow kinda person (loosely based around a rather humorous comic where mc just agrees with his Yan, the name of it escapes me but yeah)

Like we all know Jing Yuan is definitely lucid as a yandere but acts like he isn't, very clever of him.

Can you imagine how funny it would be for him to break into reader's home and is like "you can't lock the door, I made a spare key"

Reader's like "oh, sorry about that. I forgot to make a copy for you, do you want tea?"

Him coyly bringing up the idea of marriage but then reader agrees and the next thing he knows they're getting married (a lovely ceremony and celebration), the whiplash of it throws him off so bad but he hides it well.

Comes home with a baby Yanqing and reader just says that she's was actually going to bring up the topic of kids when he got back from war but this works out fine.

Maybe he wants to give Yanqing siblings, reader just nods before mentioning today would be a good time to try for a baby.

TW: yandere, non-con

Glad you noticed!! Yan! Jing Yuan is absolutely lucid and pretends he's delusional so he can play the chessboard naturally. Like, you really are his lover. This is definitely more convenient than using violence and threats, and it is gentler, which suits you. Does Jing Yuan know that his behavior is actually harassment? Yes. Does he care about this? No. Does he know the real reason for your crying? Yes. Does he still want to fuck you even though you're sobbing? Yes.

This scenario LMAO This will be a yandere comedy. You're at home drinking tea, but Jing Yuan breaks into your house and says naturally "Hey you can't lock the door. Your boyfriend just couldn't get in.", and shows you how many spare keys there are. You calmly apologize and tell him to sit down and make him some tea.

He's not going to assume the wedding can't be held, and here are only two options for you:

(1) You accept and hold a romantic wedding (means that a lovely ceremony. mimi will appear in your wedding photos, and many people from xianzhou come to congratulate you.)

(2) You don't accept but have a sweet wedding ^^ (means that he will force you to change into wedding uniform and jewelry, and non con you)

And the baby part. It's really good that you agree to everything here, just like people always agree to those privacy terms. General is satisfied with your cooperation. Jing Yuan doesn't have to add some darker parts to your life in this case.

#alani.answers

[dranna]

Be Careful what you Wish for - a Wish rewrite

~ Prologue ~

Chapter 1

summary:

King Magnifico created his kingdom to protect his people because he knows what tragedies one single wish can cause, however when one entitled 17-year-old girl decided that the way he is dealing with the population's wishes is 'unacceptable', he must step in to protect the inhabitants of his kingdom, even if it means he has to use the book, he swore to never touch again...

Who is the villain and who is the hero?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ contents: noting clear yet but there will be graphic descriptions of violence and death later on, Asha is the villain of the story, there is NO goat. I’ll add the warnings at the beginning of every chapter <3

a/n: I started writing during sleepless nights. I didn't watch the whole movie bc I didn't find it enjoyable from the start, so there will be a lot of things from my imagination. I would say I stopped watching it around the 30 minutes mark ^^’

I've never written anything longer then a one shot, so it will be an interesting journey for me. Thank you for stopping by and reading it:)

- English is not my first language -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time, there was a young and passionate man, serving a rotted and jealous king. The king had everything he wanted: immense wealth where gold grew like grass everywhere he stepped, a huge kingdom where peace bloomed in every corner, loyal men, women, happy children but  the most important of all: Power. 

However he wanted more . 

Since he walked on this earth, he had everything his heart wished for. So now, as he was sitting on his icy gold throne made by busy hands for a spoiled child, he commended the youthful man to create something for him. An object that will turn into something terrible, evil and full of hate, masked with the promise of unlimited knowledge. 

“Magnifico” - he once called the hopeful lad - “ you are the greatest apprentice I could ask for, loyal to my crown and your homeland..” - the king started his poisonous honey speech, whispering harmless sounding lies into his ear.  Besides being young and full of hope, Magnifico was also a naive and trusting soul. He listened to his king’s lies, never doubting the intent behind his tongue.  “ I have a great wish I need you to fulfill. I want you to design a book, which contains all knowledge of sorcery. A book! If someone reads from it, they magically become the most powerful in the world!” 

What wrong can one wish do?  Hung the question above the sorcerer's head, as he excited the throne room. 

Magnifico was so excited to create this book. He imagined true things being done with his creation: helping people? Putting a stop to the gut wrenching illnesses of humanity? Stopping wars , and — oh! Spawn food out of thin air?  In his mind the possibilities were endless.  However, never in his wildest nightmares could he think about the events which were born from his work. 

His loving wife warned him many times, asked, weeped and begged to not do something so terrific yet marvelous for a man like the king, but Magnifico didn’t listen. It was the first of his lists of mistakes, which will burden him until the rest of his life.

  He worked all day and all night, warm ideas filling his brain and heart, not letting him sleep during nights. A productive fire ate through his muscles and bones, illuminating the twinkling of his azure- blue eyes. 

After months of hard work, he presented the book to the king. 

Upon opening the elegant cover, cosy, silver light-strokes were omitted from the beautifully crafted pages. They gently covered the book opener, always willing to be changed, used and shared. 

To Magnifico’s horror, as months went by, his pure creation started to transform into something vile, painful and barbaric under the hands of his once beloved king. The silver light slowly darkened and lost its welcoming glow, just to make place to dark green, seaweed and tentacle-like forms. They snaked around the sorcerer who opened the earthly cell, bounding and chaining him in both physique and soul, never letting him go. 

The book consumed the king more and more, and with him wasted away his kingdom and its inhabitants. 

Magnifico couldn’t bear to see his creation causing more devastation, he stole the book from the half-dead king leaving him and his wealth to rot. 

With the knowledge he learned about magic and wishes, he created a kingdom with his wife on his side. Promising himself, that he never let any wish to destroy the happiness of his people.  And the book? He locked it deep in his castle, displaying it in his study room as a trophy of shame and deep regret, laughing and creeping its freezing fingers in blood, which he will never be able to wash clean. 

#my writing #wish 2023 #wish movie #wish rewrite #wish redesign #wish reimagined #king magnifico #asha wish

[dragonciphering]

#1 of my brain rots for Hektor-centric fics.

Hektor was known as “The Horse Breaker” or “The Tamer of Horses.” And Poseidon is the “God of the Sea & HORSES.”

So in order to be good with horses, Poseidon must of liked him atleast a little bit. And if this was in a Hades the Game….Hektor could probably get boons from Poseidon (I think.)

And because Odysseus has done some stuff to them (fucking throwing Hektor’s son off the wall and killing him, coming up with the Trojan horse, and the whole thing with the Cyclops in the Odyssey) you can assume that they have a mutual dislike for him.

But what if Poseidon takes a liking to him and just starts showing up and trying to make him his champion by trying to give him random gifts or like charms. Perhaps this is his way of saying “Sorry your home was destroyed, your family murdered/taken, and that your body was treated that way lol. Want to bond over our mutual dislike for Odysseus?” (also don’t think that the gods were very happy with how Achilles treated his body but that might just be me.)

———————————————————————

Imagine Hektor trying his best in Asphodel (or Elysium), vibing with his family, just trying to be a good guy/be a good father to his son, and get over his grief of loosing his home when Poseidon appears:

Poseidon who really wants to annoy Odysseus: “Hello my little horse tamer! I heard you don’t like Odysseus that much! Want to become my champion?”

Hektor trying to be polite because he doesn’t want to anger him: “No thank you. While I am flattered, I am not interested. Plus I’m sure you would find someone better than me who is still alive.”

Poseidon: “Oh come on, don’t you want some revenge?”

Hektor: “I believe that we in death should put aside our differences and try to understand each other and why we did the things we did in life. Even if we have been wronged by another.”

Poseidon: “You sure are a stubborn one! I’ll find something to change your mind!”

———————————————————————

And what if he decides that the gift he’s going to give Hektor is all of Odysseus’s horses. What if Hektor wakes up one morning and just finds a whole bunch of strong horses on his lawn? (And almost gave him and his family a heart attack because of PTSD.)

Perhaps he tells Patroclus about this because he doesn’t know how to explain this to Odysseus. (Hektor and Patroclus made up in this btw)

And Patroclus is just like: “I’m sorry??? What??? Do you mean to tell me that all of Odysseus’s horses are in your lawn and won’t leave??”

Hector feeling like he wants to sleep for a year and letting out a long suffering sigh: “It’s exactly what it sounds like. Oh, and tell Odysseus that if he doesn’t find a way to get them back that they will soon belong to me. It be a shame to waste this opportunity. Another thing, tell him I didn’t do this on purpose.”

———————————————————————

Meanwhile at Odysseus’s house:

Penelope: “Dear, do you know where have all the horses have gone?”

Odysseus having a sneaking suspicion that his life(death?) is about to get a whole lot harder: “What do you mean? Their all in their pens—”

Penelope opening the curtains: “They are not in their pens, Dear, look!”

Odysseus now looking outside:

Odysseus: “Yeah.”

Penelope: “🤨”

Odysseus: “I…I can see what you mean now….where…where are they???”

———————————————————————

Also, imagine the bugging that Poseidon put Zagreus through. Every time he came across a one of his boons he would just be asked/told questions and things about how to win over Hektor or what a good bribe is and how to bribe well.

#zagreus #hades game #hector of troy #hektor #hektor of troy #hector #Odysseus #penelope odyssey #achilles #patroculus #The chaos that this would cause. #tell me is I should make a part 2

[writing-for-life]

Thank you for an amazing 2023!

About metas, fics and sparkly things…

This won’t be short, but you wouldn’t expect that from me, would you? 🤣

I’ve been on Tumblr for just a bit over a year because I needed to get off my family’s back after my three decades long Sandman brain-rot got worse again due to the Netflix series. I hovered around a handful of followers for months until things exploded (I still don’t know why tbh, I think it was one particular meta that kicked things off a bit), and I somehow ended up with hundreds of followers, which might not be much to some, but it’s a lot for me.

So to all of you I’d like to say: Thank you for being here. I don’t always manage to stay on top of things because my notifs are a mess and I lose track, plus I have a rather busy life and can often only write in batches and then queue, but each of you is appreciated, even if I accidentally forget to get back to you or if we aren’t mutuals.

I’ve made such lovely connections over the last year—my interest in The Sandman definitely does not align with the main focus that shan’t be named, and I’m glad that you folks are out there. You probably know who you are.

Now to the obligatory “your posts wrapped” thing—and I’m only doing it because I need to make a point (of course I do 🤣).

News and art

My by far most successful posts have been casting/shooting news and pretty pictures (two examples are linked). And I’m grateful for all the reblogs and likes of those, but apart from curating them, they’re not really me. They’re someone else’s work.

Meta analysis

Then you have my metas, which make up the bulk of the other posts that are doing quite well (you can find all of them in my pinned post).

Even if it wasn’t my most “successful” one (what does that even mean?), this one meant the most to me:

I love writing metas, whether they cover literary concepts, psychology, music or art because I’m a permanently brain-frazzled multi-hyphenate who has to talk about everything that won’t leave her alone.

I also love when you’re sending me asks btw. For the latter, I hope they pick up again in 2024 because they really nosedived since I switched off anonymous asks (which I won’t change, soz) after some people just thought it’s good sport to be an arse about my not being here to pray at the altar of the ship. I guess we have briefly covered the ugly side of Tumblr, too, then.

Writing

But what I'm most proud of when I think of all the things I've done in 2023 is my fiction and poetry. And that's both a happy and slightly sad thing to address.

My 31 Haikus for Sandtober started as a bit of fun, but they’ve developed a life of their own, and people seemingly liked them. The post also contains a bit of my fan-art:

I still intend to turn them into a hardcover at some point, but I won’t be able to create all the artwork myself, so if you’re a fan-artist and want to know what I’m thinking of, please get in touch (I’ll still talk about this in more detail at some point though).

The other thing I’m incredibly proud of is “The Light of Stars”.

I started it as a NaNoWriMo project in 2022 (I always use NaNo to do something that is less stressful than my professional writing projects), wrote it in a bit more than a month—and then did nothing with near 80,000 words until June 2023.

And then I thought “Fuck it,” and published it on Ao3. It’s a canon x OC fic, and this is where it gets a bit sad. Because for most of us writers, these are never the posts that get most engagement (the ratio is really something like 100 : 1 — 500 for a shitpost, 5 for an average writing post).

On Ao3, it gradually picked up because I published chapter after chapter, and I think I can say that it’s done fairly well over there in terms of engagement for an OC fic, and above all how people engage with it. Because it’s a bit deeper despite being romance, it deals with heavy topics like grief, and I’m so glad to have touched a few people’s hearts with it, and that it was meaningful to them. So much so that you all convinced me to write a sequel.

But here’s the thing: The general engagement with writing, especially non-explicit, non-ship, non-readerY/N on Tumblr is very, very low.

Writers who write canon x OC are still struggling to be heard through the noise (it’s not just me, I’ve had many conversations about this, so I’ll just say: I’ll speak for many of us). There are basically hardly any events for us to participate in (most of us only ever do so if we shift to canon one-shots, poetry or metas. If we don’t: Again, no one cares), and fandom often actively chooses to ignore us because “all OCs are self-inserts, ew.” Which is patently not true, and I could go on a long rant now why many canon x canon fics are very obvious self-inserts, which I won’t.

But even if all OCs were self-inserts, even if all characters were—so what? All writing is to a degree based on self-insertion because it comes from our brains—it’s not a bad thing. But apparently, it becomes a bad thing if the character is an OC, heaven knows why.

So if I had one wish (I’m allowed one, right?) for 2024, it would be that people engage more with OC fics and include them more in community events. That fandom, which prides itself in community, includes writers who don’t write for (the main) ship/s a bit more, especially if they don’t write smut (which I personally even do professionally, but I don’t want to have to do it in fanfic just to get engagement). I’m not holding my breath because I know that’s not where fandom’s oft single-minded focus lies, but a girl can dream, right?

And with that, I want to get to my proudest accomplishments of them all:

Being the curator queen of the sparkle realms:

Being one (arguably the main) instigator of the maddest crack ship that has ever graced (?) the face of the earth, spawned the most unhinged discussion (much truth in it though 🤣) and even NSFW fanart. I promise I’ll write that fic about Murphy and his Cool Hat:

Have a lovely 2024!

#2023 wrapped #the sandman #sandman #sandman meta #sandman fanfiction #sandman fanart #sparkle content #sparklecontent #murphy and his cool hat

[gen4grl]

Piers and/or Raihan for the character ask

ooo thank u for the ask, and i’ll do both since i’m a chronic talker! like the last one, i’ll only do questions i feel like i can answer (or understand the prompt lol)

raihan first!🐉

why i like them: i have been drawn to dragon trainers ever since playing hgss so of course i love this man. also absolutely love his cocky attitude, i think he has such an alluring personality. on a real note he’s so fine he gets me blushing lol oh and his lil tooth that sticks out :33

why i don’t: epitome of every gimmick i hate in battles LOL absolutely hate double battles and hate weather affects even more.

fave episode/movie: didn’t watch the anime after johto and definitely didn’t watch journeys so … no answer and i don’t feel like he appears enough in twilight wings to give an answer lol I’m gonna go with the microsecond he was in gotcha lol

fave line: “i look this good even when i lose. it’s a real curse” oh absolutely sir 🫡

fave outfit: absolutely love his normal ingame outfit purely because of the the incorporation of lances hgss outfit ahhhh. gamefreak needs to sell clothing items of famous trainers because i need that man’s hoodie. also love his black and white suit in masters so niceee and classy

otp: multishipper!!! so my first ship was raihan and leon - which i still really enjoy but my all time fave is raihan and piers 🖤🧡 they have rotted my brain so badly

brotp: sonia and raihan. like how he calls her miss clever clogs. i wanna be around to witness their leon gossip sessions lol. hc but i love the idea of them growing up in the gym challenge together and sonia always finding raihan super hilarious while her best friend nessa thought he was so full of himself lol. honestly i think he’s just super popular and social so gets along with every gym leader pretty well

headcanon: talked about this briefly in my tags, but a very special hc to me is that all dragon trainers come from a singular clan before splitting apart where they now live in the different regions. lance and raihan are cousins and are considered the most esteemed and powerful trainers in their clan and have had a friendly rivalry since being kids. despite bickering due their completely different attitudes and outlooks on life and what it means to be a dragon trainer, they also bring out positives in eachother. lance made raihan appreciate the culture of their clan more (which in turn helped him appreciate his vault job even more) and raihan taught lance how to loosen up and not feel so pressured by the very strict johto branch of dragon trainers. oh and he’s also great with kids and kids love him for how goofy he can be lol

wish: definitely wish we saw more of the gentle side of him that’s hinted to be there both via the game and anime.

my nickname for them: rai-rai🥺 ever since seeing that piers calls him that in the manga. fuels my shipping brain and overall just a super cute name

piers 🦨

why i like them: omg. my all time favourite gym leader and in my top 3 galar characters. love that they fed into the concept of alt people being teddy bears despite outwards appearances, reminds me of alot of people i knew growing up in the scene myself. loveee how protective he is of marnie and in general how much he loves his hometown and people around him. just an absolute sweetie 😭

why i dont: actually cant think of one reason or element i dont like, perfect character imo!!! is it basic to say the scene of him singing with no background vocals? why do him like that😭😭😭

fave episode/movie: same answer as raihans but seeing that one microsecond in twilight wings of him saying he doesn’t do encores changed me as a person lmao

fave line: this whole interaction always gets me lmao

fave outfit: not even a canon outfit but i see so much fanart of him without his jacket on and i vibe heavy with that lol

otp: kbnz everydayyy, despite minimal interactions (lol the shippers struggle) every interaction he had with raihan had insane undertones it got me feeling like i shouldn’t of been watching lmao (to be a fly on the wall tho LOL).

brotp: piers and …. sonia too lol (this girl needs more friends!!!). really loved them with hop + the player in post game and think stressed and overwhelmed sonia could benefit from calm and collected piers… so cute. i’m so attracted to the opposites attract trope, both platonically and/or romantically and they fit that perfectly lol

headcanon: while always on the more reserved side, i love the idea of younger gym challengers piers being more boisterous (in his own way) and loved the party and gig scene in early spikemuth* - much to the suprise of those who only know him in his adult years. however, when the responsibility of raising marnie came into the picture, he relaxed quite a lot and now his old man tendencies tend to come out even with his fully adult friends and in his relationship. he’s the first people come to when they need advice cause despite being overly cautious and a worry-wart when it comes to marnie, he is quite grounded which comforts a lot of people. what a sweetie!

*purely based off the quote “times like this—when tension and passion run high—remind me of spikemuth in the old days. some right wild concerts we had back then. but no encores!"

my nickname: not mine but i hc everyone around him especially raihan call him piersy. definitely gets under his skin but kinda just accepts it now lol

#LONG POST I’m sorry #asks #hc #raihan pokemon #piers pokemon #swsh

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Thing is about the fungi though… those are mating types (which aren’t even the exact same as sexes but pretty close)…. They aren’t genders like. How obvious is it that fungal sex has nothing to do with human sex, let alone gender, which is a human social construct? Are people really THIS widely delusional? Delusional in the way someone is who claims a “miracle” every time something nice happens, or what? Schizophylum commune having whatever number of mating types doesn’t tell us jack shit about how sex functions in humans… which in turn isn’t even gender, just related to it. So what the fuck is up with tens of thousands of people going on and on acting like it does? It’s like going “AHA grapes are purple and also sometimes green, and both taste good. People are also different colors sometimes. So therefore racism is bad. Checkmate racists.” It’s a loony toons argument, a terrible argument, and it does a disservice to the intelligence of anyone who is asked to nod along and act like it makes any kinda sense. Rotting brains as we speak.

Oh, anon! Where did you get the fungi post? I must’ve reblogged it ages ago… well, nothing wrong about stumbling upon it, of course. 

It’s true that sex and gender aren’t the same thing, and that animals (and plants and fungi and other organisms, of course) have no concept of gender in any form. Animals that change their sex aren’t really transgender, even if it’s fun to say they are, since they have no gender identity to differ from their sex. It’s just a part of their lifecycle, like puberty to us! Totally different. Even then.. I think people pointing out these organisms and their varied selection of mating types and sexes is rather to counter the argument that being trans (and/or queer, and/or a person with an unconventional relationship or family/group dynamic) is unnatural! Yes yes, it’s not a perfect comparison for the sole reason that these animals don’t feel gender identity and what’s natural for them is wholly different from what is natural to humans… but that just shows how silly it is to point at nature and say that it is an unchanging, rigid monolith that humans should follow the rules of, when nature is so diverse and full of exceptions to the so-called rule! You know, undermine the silly “what is natural” thing some awful folks like to pull.

Besides, knowledge of the varied selection of mating types of animals brings people comfort. For one, I’ve seen people in my reblogs say that after learning about seahorse males being the ones that are pregnant, the knowledge brought them gender euphoria! And even if sex and gender aren’t the same thing, sex is still fluid, and seeing that certain animals’ sexes are also fluid is just.. well, nice to learn about. Perhaps it makes one feel less alone, or less like an outcast if they’ve been made to feel like that their whole life — because, well look at that! This animal is like me, in a way! This can go for all kinds of people. I think it’s sweet :]

Anyone can think anything of people likening other organisms’ sexes and mating types to humans and our sex and gender, I do really understand wanting to be true to the nature of… uh, nature! I always want to be as clear as possible when I talk about animals and their biology, so I tend to only refer to fishes’ sexes as just that, sex! I don’t want people to get the wrong idea and anthropomorphise animals too much; a wrasse going from female to male most likely doesn’t think too hard about its body’s change, it just happens. I just wanted to offer a view of why some folks like to liken the two together, you know? I don’t think they mean any harm!

#asks #anon #anonymous #anonymous asks

[kwonzoshi]

Top 10 Best BL Boys of 2022

10.) Mangkorn [Big Dragon]

- I’ll tell you right now, when I started Big Dragon, I did not expect to like either of the characters. Yet SOMEHOW this tall lanky fuck ended up winning me over. He’s complicated, can’t communicate for shit and has so much love to give.  

9.) Tankhun [Kinnporsche]

- Where do I even start... this man is funny, fashionable and loves his family/friends deeply. He gets written off as crazy and is EXTREMELY misunderstood but has the BIGGEST brain in that family. I mean he truly holds the only braincell in the compound. This man deserves so much more than he is given, and I love him to pieces.

8.) Nuea [Secret Crush on You]

-The definition of his crazy matches my crazy. The way he accepted and loved Toh for everything he was. NEVER asked him to change and met him wherever he was at, incredible. He always stood firm on his feelings, even when he wasn’t sure Toh felt the same. 

7.) Wasuwat [The Eclipse]

- He was cute, artsy, funny and smart as hell. I respected the hell out of him for not accepting whatever the fuck KhanThua tried to do at the beach and I respect his quick thinking even more. He is loyal and will do anything for his friends. Even put more work on his plate. 

6.) Khondiao [Cutie Pie]

- Literal ray of sunshine. Though most of the story he seems weak, he is strong as hell. He handles himself, Hia Yi, Kuea and so much more with grace. He is an amazing friend and an even better partner. His patience with Yi deserves to be rewarded. I mean that. 

5.) Jao [Secret Crush on You]

- Literal ray of sunshine number 2. Watching his story develop and him gain confidence in himself was one of the highlights of the show. As a friend, he was ten toes down for his Alphabet Mafia and I love him for that. 

4.) Payu [Love in the Air]

- Y’all may disagree with me but this man is one of the best boyfriends in all of BL. He took Rain under his wing, and while the beginning of their relationship wasn’t the best, he really did everything to make sure Rain was being careful and responsible. He also lays the pipe down, what more can someone want?

3.) Ayan [The Eclipse]

- He is the definition of “I’m hurt but I’ll heal you.” The way he cared for Akk even though he could’ve easily just let him rot, is why he is top 3. He knew what Akk was doing from the beginning but he noticed that he was suffering, just like he was. The way he was with his supposed ‘enemy’ just shows that his character was pure of heart and just trying to find closure. Green flags everywhere.

2.) Akk [Enchanté]

- I’M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE, AKK DESERVED BETTER. This man shoved all of his feelings to the side to help the man he has loved since they were children. Even though it hurt. Even though it was KILLING him. He was supportive and loyal. The way he forgave Theo and just continued to give him the same energy... he is incredible. And the way he was waiting to fulfill promises they made to each other as kids?! Where do I find an Akk?!

1.) Pluem [Ghost Host, Ghost House]

- I will take ZERO criticisms or arguments. Pluem Pitiphong is THE best BL boy of 2022. He was loving, understanding, gentle, caring and just everything he could be for Kevin. He had his low moment but he’s human and it was honestly, mild. He loved Kevin with every fiber of his being from the moment he met him. HE WAITED FOR THREE YEARS FOR HIM. Patiently. Quietly. He faced his fears and worked on himself to be the best he could be for the man he loved and I respect the absolute hell out of him for that. He is the GREENEST of green flags and this is why he is number 1 on my list. 

HONORABLE NON-BL MENTION:

Yeon Sieun [Weak Hero Class 1]

- I have to mention him because while it WASN’T a BL, there were gay undertones. Sieun was loyal and devoted as a friend. He was willing to put his safety and his life on the line for Sooho and even risked jail time for him. He went from ‘couldn’t be bothered’ to ‘if you touch a hair on his head, i will kill you’ and I LOVE THAT. He is quiet, intelligent and full of so much love for the people he cares about. He was deeply misunderstood and even then, he wasn’t full of hate or resentment. He just took care of business. 

🚨Disclaimer:

This is simply my personal opinion from the shows I watched this year. This isn’t to say there aren’t more that could fit this category, these are just MY choices for my list. Thank you ♡

#big dragon #big dragon the series #mangkorn #mangkornyai #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #tankhun theerapanyakul #secret crush on you #secret crush on you the series #nuea #nueatoh #jao #skyjao #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #wasuwat #Ayan #ayanakk #ayeakk #cutie pie #cutie pie the series #khondiao #yidiao #love in the air #love in the air the series #payu #phayu #payurain #phayurain #enchante

[undercoverpena]

Haven’t even got to reading the first line yet but HAD to come here to say that you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to us about changing your posting schedule or for making life a little easier on you as you go into exam period (eek!)

I feel COMPELLED to tell you that the ones who matter will NOT mind! I’m sure I speak for more than just myself when I say we would rather than you don’t burn out and take your time with writing or posting anything, especially when you’re about to be under pressure in a different aspect of life.

Good luck with all your studying and for your exams, whenever they may be! Okay now I’m going to actually read your update I’m sorry for clogging your inbox 😂🩵

okay, I needed to put that down first, but honestly you made me cry (in a nice way). I’ve been stressing, and so worried about letting people down to the point I’ve made myself a bit churned up hahahah. so thank you, I appreciate this more than I can ever articulate.

I know you know this, but it wasn’t a decision I made lightly, but the brain rot for frankie, plus the never ending promises I keep making as ideas pop up was beginning to make me feel guilty? (I know, I know — I don’t need to). but when writing is something you love doing and find it so therapeutic, you can’t sometimes wrangle it to dropping almost 5k chapters so easily.

but this, buys me some time to make sure I love writing sunny and Javi as much as I have. but it also means I can write Frankie. it also means I can study without feeling guilty I’m not doing writing and vice versa. so, while my exam is a while away (cause I work full time too), I’m hopeful this’ll mean I can be fun-jo and not burnt-out-jo.

so, all of this is to say, thank you. thank you for being so lovely and kind, and I appreciate it so much. I can actually take a breath and just… be happy 🥹🥰 and that means so much!

sorry for my ramble 🫣🤍✨

#asked and answered #kind souls #iknowisoundcrazy #I have the best people following me / interacting with me omg

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 10 🕺🏼

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Fun fact, because I am adopted I legit thought for a bit too long that everyone was concieved via adoption. Like babies just appeared and you went to adopt them.

I remember when I finally did learn how babies were made it kinda felt unreal

For context I had met pregnant people but I just did not reflect at all how babies came to be

💍 queenoftherink Follow

🤝

Although I remember asking my guardian ”well how did my MOM get me in the first place before she gave me up?? Did she also adopt me??” and her response was ”You see, sometimes flowers appear in the wrong hands, and thus they need to give them away to someone who can take better care of them”

So I… kinda thought I appeared as a flower inside my bio mom and she gave me to my guardian as she could take care of flowers better…

This also made me fear having a baby grow like a flower inside of me at like age 5 so. Yeah.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I love reading random lore about your lives you never tell us anything irl

9 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

@supernova-number-one Found a video that describes our relationship 💜

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Ew don’t tag me in ugly animated songs stop

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is a masterpiece, you rat

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I never watched it. I don’t watch cartoons, it rots your brain

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

I’m gonna break into your house at a random time next week and force you to watch Phineas and Ferb.

I won’t say when, I won’t say how. But beware.

15 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Should I be concerned if my daughter’s female friend climbs in from the second floor window at 1:20 AM, or should I just let it go and be supportive that she has friends?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Today’s question: If you woke up and realized you were 10 years old again, but you have all the memories and experiences from your current age, what would you do?

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

Panic?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Yeah i’d… have an existential crisis.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

My life literally started at age 17, imagine going back to being 10. And knowing that you have to suffer through almost a decade before your life starts again.

I guess the good thing is that i’d expose my dad of his lies right off the bat and maybe make some changes there. But. I’d still be 10. I don’t wanna be 10.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Yeah like I’d get the feeling of wanting to be young again because of nostalgia and all that, but was it really that great? Sure, I’d get access to the movies and games I used to watch and play that I no longer have access to. Sure, I’d watch the kids shows again that no longer air. But besides nostalgia for media? Being 10 kinda sucked?? Is anyone in their prime time then????

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Adding to this ^ Imagine all the things that came out after you were 10. All the books, movies, shows… that you no longer have access to because they haven’t come out yet.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Anyone else getting an irrational fear of going to sleep and waking up as a 10 year old or is it just me?

298 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

The queer experience of meeting another person and just knowing… you’re one of us.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Yeah…

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

HOLD UP…

LUDMILA??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Now you’re not replying.

I mean I always knew but i’m still like >:o !!

We’re gonna talk about this when I come and force you to watch some P&F tonight

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I love my posts being helped to further the plot of whatever is going on between you two

13 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

So I was in a singing competition once and I got in last. I’m usually very competitive, but I surprisingly didn’t care. Honestly, I was only joining because it was a competition, but I am not really interested in a singing career.

But I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I won? How would it have looked like if I had a singing career?

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

You wouldn’t like it if Bruno still was responsible. You’d be forced to "date" someone, have random made up drama…

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Oof yeah good point

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Imagine if one of the people in the competition who was not straight won, and they’d have to be forced into a straight fake dating. And they’d also perform a love song and everyone would ask who it was about and they would not be allowed to say.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Why are you vagueposting like this??

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Cause the person themselves can’t tell anything it or they would be found out by a certain someone who has not figured out their Tumblr blog and it’s just fun to keep the mystery

50 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Anonymous asked: You seem to be very interested if your daughter has a boyfriend. What would you do if your daughter has a girlfriend?

I have not considered that a thing that could happen!

Does this mean I have to keep an eye out for girls, too?!

0 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I was bored and decided to prank my stepsister. I knew she had her friend at home, so I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out”.

Now, of course, they didn’t make out at all, but they got so startled by my voice they almost hid, as if they did something.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I thought this sounded like a fun idea and went to do the same to my cousin, who currently has her friend over.

As I opened the door and yelled ”stop making out” the two did not get startled. Rather, they just stared at me dumbfounded.

I blinked and then closed the door again. I will not let the awkwardness get to me.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh so THAT’S why you did that. I thought you for some reason thought me and Nina were dating (my mom thought that once so idk if that’s a rumor people for some reason have)

10 notes

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Just wanna give a shoutout to the passion fruit juice at Jam and Roller! It’s delicious!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Ooh, we’re doing J&R recommendations? I recommend the chocolate-vanilla milkshake! It is the BEST THING I’ve tasted ever!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute! I finally figured you out! I did it!

YOU’RE YAM! 🫵

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HOW did you figure it out by this, out of all things?!

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I was about to lie and troll you by saying that I’m not Yam, but oh well.

Matteo, it has been an honor watching you absolutely suck at figuring out who I was. I mean, there were some OBVIOUS HINTS.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I just knew I had seen you drink that milkshake quite a lot, so I went from that.

I don’t really know what had been the clear hints

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Please allow me, as someone who does not often speak to Yam irl but observes and knows everything about everyone:

Hint 1: She enjoys singing. Sure, a lot of people enjoy singing at Jam and Roller, but she is our Singer.

Hint 2: Her unhinged behavior. You’re telling me you haven’t ever just noticed her being basically like Lunita but with a more brutally honest attitude?

Hint 3: Her gayness. Now, we should never assume people’s sexualities but Yam both here and much irl has been very openly gay during the last years.

Hint 4: The way she and Jim openly talk about their relationship here. Who did you think Jim was dating??? They haven’t exactly been hiding that much irl either.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I guess I just… didn’t think much about Yam. Sorry.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

That’s ok Strawberry face, I don’t think much about you either except when I troll you on Tumblr

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Now I kinda wanna get to know you haha

Wanna go grab a drink? (If Jim sees this, I promise I won’t make moves on her)

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

I never in my life assumed you would try to make a move on someone who’s openly a lesbian but thanks I guess

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

When you say ”grab a drink” please say you meant going to a bar I’d like to see you drunk

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Well. I guess I was right. Matteo did figure it out in the most unpredictable way.

102 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

My childhood rival included a Phineas and Ferb reference in her latest fic I’m so proud <3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Stop reading my fanfictions

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

You know fully well you update them only because of me 😘 Your little notes saying ”I know a certain someone who will like this chapter” is def for me

Also the fact that a character climbed through a window in one of them? Please you got that from real life experiences

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

What is happening between you two??

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Phineas and Ferb is what’s happening.

Also Vilu, please read chapter 43 of Ludmila’s 170 chapters fic, I am pretty sure she based that from you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

It’s just two best friends who everyone is sure is in love but they haven’t realized it themselves??

I don’t get it.

15 notes

#hope the reveal didn’t feel underwhelming #i just wanted him to find out in the most random way #violetta #soy luna #if dcla characters had tumblr

[blissfulalchemist]

WIP Wednesday

(Because I got the brain rot and need others to suffer with me)

Thanks to Kate I've been consumed by another au old man ship from ffxiv so you all must bear witness to the small piece I have for them wherein Demos does not share the same soul as Sib. Tagging a few peeps: @belorage @florbelles @adelaidedrubman @unholymilf @strafethesesinners @heroofpenamstan @corvosattano @jackiesarch @confidentandgood @shallow-gravy @deputyash and anyone else that wants to use me as an excuse to post wip stuff!

Shadowbringers spoilers

It’s a daze as Elidibus stumbles on the dirt road towards Eulmore. Body growing heavy as his vision darkens and can feel the shift in pressure as the void opens before him. So sudden and he’s powerless to stop it now that it’s started. Elidibus had felt this way only once before….he thinks? A distant memory pulls at him and brings him high from the ground. Half lidded eyes see the form of a brown haired man until he closes them and opens them once more.

He’s greeted by a smile that lights up ice blue eyes framed by ebony hair and round round brown glasses. He wears robes of old and more detailed than the shades left by the late Emet-Selch. The man turns to face him more and it’s when he starts to say something that the realization slams into Elidibus. He blinks once more, gasping sharply when the image is gone and he’s left facing the Warrior of Light’s right hand, Demos. With violet eyes framed by longer brown hair and a scar that slices his face, yet avoids the small scattering of freckles on his cheeks. His clothes are garments of the present matching many of the Crystarium and suit him far better than any of the attire Elidibus had seen over the years.

The two men look at one another briefly, a frown starting to pull at Demos’ lips. “How did-?” Elidibus stammers, “Was it you who called me here?”

Demos shakes his head, readying to speak when he winces in pain and Elidibus can feel the ringing in his mind. Can feel the way Demos’ gift grasps for any shadow of a memory in the darkened archive of his mind, He will find nothing of import. A rare moment though where Elidibus can wade through his memories in turn. It’s easy to grab the sliver of something that pairs so easily with one of the many torn pages. 

“I do not care what you are during the day….the moon is full and you are your true self….”

Elidibus laces their fingers together, smiling softly at the soft glow the moonlight gives to his lover’s eyes. “And I shall always be….for this is always my favorite moment….”

The memory fades leaving Elidibus to look down biting his tongue that he can’t seem to know why that was a memory that would come from Demos. “Did you learn anything new, Demos? I doubt there is much left that would surprise you.”

“You finding me here is a bit of a surprise.” Demos steps closer, hand starting to reach out, “I didn’t call for you Elidibus, but that still doesn’t mean I’d find your company unwanted.” Elidibus stays rooted, listening to Demos’ footsteps as he makes his way closer, “That promise you made all that time ago, about making sure that the star stayed upon its true course.”

“My duty, yes. What of it?”

“How did you ever decide what the true course was?” 

Elidibus looks up with a furrowed brow, “We have discussed this before. Do you not remember? In great detail, if I recall.” Demos shakes his head, “Very well. Choices and sacrifices must be made so that the star and all life within it are to thrive and be made better.” Demos holds his chin with a hum, “Did that answer your question?”

“If life is currently thriving and there are people all over that strive to make it better, then shouldn’t that mean the star is currently on its proper course?”

“The world as it stands is incapable of making change that will allow it to thrive. As Elidibus I shall see that the years of hard selfless labor of my fallen brethren will not be for naught.”

“And what of us?” Elidibus looks down, fists clenching, “What will become of us if you guide the star as you are now?” Demos becomes inches from the Emissary, his hand slowly reaching up to cup his cheek, “Tell me, Elidibus, does being with me mean you stand with your brothers….or against?”

His face is guided to look up into pleading violet eyes, all the while he searches for an answer to give, an answer that was spoken in another time perhaps? He stands still, sifting and wading through faded pages knowing there was an answer that passed through parted lips. He swallows, briefly closing his eyes, “Demos, I-.”

Elidibus’ eyes go wide as lips engulf his own and an arm tightens around his waist. The instinct to push him away fades as lips part and tongues entwine, a soft moan emanating from him as his eyes close and arms embrace the one kissing him. Memories he thought long gone pour out and fill his senses with a deep laughter among music that only became his favorite after they spent their first night together, the scent of cardamom and chamomile, ice blue eyes shining behind square spectacles, soft pale skin that his fingers dance over in the moonlight, office, and bedsheets, with the distinct warm flavor of winter caramel given to him by someone with a name he’d dare not utter since that fateful day. Demos’ hand slides up the back of his neck and in an instant he’s no longer in the body of a hero from the present, but once more in his original form. With long silver white hair that fingers could easily get lost in unlike what he has now, a feeling that lets free images of an office lined with bookshelves and a ornate wooden desk in the center with fresh varnish that was easy to feel when he was made to use it to remain standing as the surprise kiss made him dizzy. The first of many it turned out….

The cold tear that rolls down his cheek as the memory starts to end with a faint ringing in his ears is the only thing solidifying his truth, his fear….his grief. As Demos pulls away with shaky breaths Elidibus matches that fading memory as he breathes out, “Conner….”

#ive been crying about them for weeks now internally so thank you friend #i just.....they're precious to me....... #this does also take place in the sibhabrea verse just in case anyone needed to know #anyway continue on with your day #my wip tag