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#anyone who speaks ill: shut up
awkwardsimpsons · 8 months
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Not enough Mel/Bob on this site
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galacticslugs · 2 months
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my list of symptoms to talk about at my appointment keeps getting longer 🏃
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theghostofashton · 2 years
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crowtongued · 1 year
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{--Its fan-fucking-tastic being part of a family where everyone just constantly interrupts and shows 0 respect for anything that you have to say and takes over every conversation but God forbid you tell them how rude they are and walk from the conversation so they hunt you down across several rooms just to argue about how how awful you are and gaslight and tell you how you’re the one who doesn’t know how to talk to people and show respect because “you only talk to people on the internet and everyone online is a crazy extremist and they don’t count as real people”. Like excuse the fuck out of me. Must totally be that, when the only arguments I have with people I talk to online are “No, sorry for interrupting, you go first” when trying to speak at the same time. Like wow the internet has taught me to be so rude that I sit and listen to your stupid fucking monologue about the grocery store for 2 hours and then expect to actually be able to finish a single sentence without you redirecting to something else you deem as more important than whatever I had to say, even though I haven’t said anything for 2 hours! The problem must be me!--}
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inkskinned · 10 months
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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oct0bra1ns · 5 months
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Ice stained with blood
Synopsis: His ice cold heart was only for you Pairing: Yandere figure skater x ex figure skater turned manager! reader Tw: manipulation, mentions of bringing harm to others, yanderes notes: im proud of this, way too much reblogs and comments are appreciated!
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Yandere Figure Skater! who thought nothing of you when he first saw you, people came into the world and barely lasted the first two months, he expected the same from you - a nobody who’d stay a nobody.
Yandere Figure Skater! Who was proved wrong when you quickly gained enough skill to rival him, even people who joined years before you had yet to reach his level.
Yandere Figure Skater! Who realised you had put in so much work, because this was something your parents sacrificed everything for to give to you, unlike him who would gladly skip training to go hang out.
Yandere Figure Skater! Who notices the glares you give him when he shows up late to practise and is let off easily when the coaches yell at you for making even the smallest mistake. He knows damn well how much it annoys you and boy does he love the way your face fills up with scorn.
Yandere Figure Skater! Who didn’t even bother to learn your name until he was paired with you to represent the nation, who for once saw you smile, a smile so bright it almost melted his ice cold heart.
Yandere Figure Skater! Who was a pain in the ass to be partners with, everything you did, this man would criticise you but god forbid the Coach say anything to you in front of him, he’d make sure the Coach would resign from the verbal lashing they’d get.
Yandere Skater! has been in a lot of competitions and doesn’t get nervous before performances and he knows you do, so when you rush off to the washroom he doesn’t think much of it.
Yandere Figure Skater who sighs, glancing at the time again, you had gone to the washroom and had yet to return, your time to perform was nearing and he could hear the coach trying their best not to lose their cool. He was well aware that the coach was itching to scold you but they wouldn’t dare, not in front of him.
Yandere Figure Skater who was going to tell his coach to sit down instead of pacing around and annoying him but was interrupted by a  familiar piercing scream from the direction you went. Never in his life had he ran this fast, never has his heart pounded so hard in his chest.
Yandere Figure Skater whose heart dropped to his chest when he saw you on the ground, clutching your ankles, tears pouring out of your eyes. He wasted no  time  rushing towards you, shoving the pests that crowded you instead of helping you.
Yandere Figure Skater who picks you up, rushing to the infirmary while demanding you to tell him who the hell did this to you. Whoever it was, would fear his wrath, he’d make sure they’d beg for death.
Yandere Figure Skater who tries to comfort you during your recovery only for you to end up lashing out at him at how this was all you had, how much you sacrificed for this, about how he had no idea how devastating it was to almost have everything and then have it ripped out from your hands.
Yandere Figure Skater who doesn’t get mad at you, assuring you, you’d get to return one way or another, he’d make sure of it. What you didn’t expect was to be brought back as his manager. What initially was painful for you, to see what you had lost, eventually turned into a comfort, the rink, the crowd, the various competitors in the noise, you found a solace.
Yandere Figure Skater who asks your opinion for everything, after all, you're his manager, you know best. If anyone wants him to do anything, they’d have to talk to you and you would have to agree to it.
Yandere Figure Skater who shuts down every newspaper that dares speak ill of you or your retirement. He has the influence and he will use it and the reporter who published the article will be dealt with .
Yandere Figure Skater Who dedicates all his wins towards you and only you, everybody else is irrelevant.
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princessbrunette · 5 months
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“you still mad at me?” while balls deep with rafe 😵‍💫😵‍💫.
GODDDD U ATE W THIS PROMPT 😩 like my jaw dropped
rafe was always doing this.
he’d make empty promises, plans even — talk to you all sweet with a warm hand on your back whispering suggestion of “that was the last time i’m getting involved with all that crazy shit, baby. i swear. s’just me you n’me now, you hear me?” and you being the fool, believed him.
until of course you’re catching him pulling back up to the drive on his motorcycle, yanking his helmet off with that ill-tempered expression of his that just tells you enough that somethings gone on, you know, the one where his teeth are grit, lips pressed together like they’d been sewn shut. that’s not even where it ends, because often times barry is close behind, pulling up alone side so they can debrief loudly in the living room, stinking up the place with pot. even if you were mad, you know the rules. no coming down the stairs when barry’s over.
you almost had started to enjoy the feeling of sulking when rafe would eventually skulk up the stairs after barry had left, shoulders heavy and ready to grovel. naturally, you put up quite the fight — and what might surprise you is that rafe let’s you mouth off, even if he knows you don’t understand the importance of his situation and likely never will.
“again and again rafe! how many times am i gonna have to put up with you just running off to god knows where when you promise me you’re not doing all that anymore! you were supposed to be with me today!” you nearly stomp your foot, that last sentence coming out childishly like an abandoned middle child. he nods, jaw ticking as he stares at the ground scratching his forehead, waiting for his lashing to end. once the tears start to roll, that’s his queue. like clockwork.
“come on, hey. y’know i love you, sweetheart. i’m sorry, okay?” he rushes to your side, sliding right up next to you on the bed and thumbing at the first batch of tears on your cheek, his hand so large it cups your skull at the same time. you want to preen into his touch, so elated with any affection after a day of missing him, worrying about him — but you don’t, because you’re still mad. be strong, you tell yourself.
you’re weak. you hate yourself.
not even 10 minutes of your sobbing and complaining later and he’s got your legs over his broad shoulders, balls slapping lewdly against you whilst he all but pumps you. his hands that are on your waist, using you as leverage reposition themselves so that he’s holding himself up over you more. a large hand wraps gently around your ankle as he does so, making sure your leg doesn’t slide off the strong slopes of his shoulder.
squeals and more tears are being punched out of you with each thrust, but he can see you physically relaxing, he can see you reaching out to him with a wobbling bottom lip so that you can hold onto his arms like you always do when he fucks you. it’s neutralising you.
“fuck, that’s m’girl.” he pants, mouth gaping at the way your pussy flutters around him. you’re so reactive to his voice he can’t believe it, never having met anyone who is so enamoured with everything he does. shit, maybe he should treat you better after all. he keeps talking, because he thinks you deserve to cum a whole bunch tonight, after putting up with all his shit. having a girlfriends made him gone all soft.
“you still mad at me?” he tilts his head, and you’re not sure if it’s intended to be mean or mocking, because it certainly doesn’t come out that way — his voice kind and eyes kinder, rolling the well kept muscles in his core to grind his cock against that spongey spot deep within. you don’t answer his question, clinging onto that last crumb of dignity and restraint. you pout through your whimpers, turning your head a little. he takes that opportunity to burrow down into your neck, his open mouth panting against your tepid skin as he speaks lowly again. “dont be mad at me baby. i’m only tryna look after my girl, you want that right?”
“mhm…” you reply before you permit yourself.
he slides his arms under you now, letting your legs down from his shoulders to hook around his waist instead. he’s holding your body close to his as he grinds, his pelvis smushed against your clit, making your thighs tremble and suddenly you’re so god damn close it hurts and you’ll do anything to cum.
“so good to me, baby.” he sighs and you cry out, arching your body harder to his. “i know. let it out. i’m so bad to you sweetheart s’the least i can do.” he mutters self pityingly before letting out a groan, cock pulsing inside you. you remember thinking about how right he was about that when you fell over the edge into a white hot orgasm.
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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months
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When I was young I was dating this absolute cocknob right as I graduated high school. More on that later.
As a present ostensibly to me (but mostly my folks) I was whisked away after graduation to spend two weeks in Europe with my parents. The plan was to see London, Paris, and Heidelberg.
I was moody and a teenager and was largely disgruntled by this fabulous adventure. I went along with sullen foot dragging and black looks. I commandeered my reprehensible boyfriends enormous black hoodie and wore it on the trip. At the start of our jaunt into London I mentioned offhandedly to my mom that it was burning when I peed.
“You’re just dehydrated, and your period is about to start.”
She was right on both counts. I upped my water content, and had my period (which may have contributed to my overall ill humors.)
So we found ourselves in a tiny hotel in Paris, a week into our jaunt, when I repeated, “Man, it just really burns when I pee.”
“What?!” my mom demanded.
“I told you like a week ago that it was burning.”
“Augh! Now we have to go to the hospital!” she proclaimed.
“What?! Why?”
“Because,” she snapped, “You have a bladder infection.”
More bickering ensued, and my temperament was not improved by knowing I’d told her I was having an issue a week ago and been ignored.
My dad heard about the itinerary shift with resignation and we trooped down the narrow stairs as a family to ask the concierge where the nearest hospital was.
The absolutely lovely man at the desk was immediately so concerned when we asked for directions. “Is everything okay?” he asked with very genuine sympathy and I muttered that everything was fine, we just needed a quick visit.
Lucky for us the hospital was only a few blocks away. We walked there and the building was massive, home to what appeared to be several separate wings but no obvious main entrance.
We wandered inside and it was like a weird dream. There was no one around. Huge echoing corridors met us as we peered in vain for a front desk or possibly signs. We searched with increasing frustration for anyone to talk to and somehow found ourselves in some tiny back offices.
A woman sat at her desk and looked bewildered to see three lost Americans approaching her. She greeted us and as a family we all simultaneously realized the massive flaw in our current course.
You see, dear reader, we did not speak French. My dad and I both spoke German. I inquired politely if she also spoke German and she shook her head looking increasingly cornered. We asked if she spoke English.
“Leetle…?” she replied.
“My daughter has a bladder infection! Blad-der?” My mother declared this at a high volume as if volume alone could bridge the communication gap, while simultaneously miming over my stomach, circling where she presumed my pelvis was under the gigantic black sweatshirt.
The woman’s expression turned extremely skeptical and she slowly repeated “Bladder…” She scrutinized me for a moment then said, “You go…. This?” And pointed to something purple on her desk.
“The purple signs?” my dad asked.
She nodded and we set off. I was stewing with resentment at my mom for having ignored my first complaint when we were in a country that spoke English. And also generalized hostility about being on the trip and the object of miming. Now here we were in a French hospital, lost and unable to communicate. I also was under no illusions that someone who didn’t know the word for purple would have any clue what bladder meant.
And slowly I realized what had actually happened as I peered at the purple signs. My mother circling my stomach with her hands, gesturing to my middle. The woman’s skeptical face.
“Hey mom,” I chirped, syrupy and smug. “I don’t speak French. But I do know that it’s a Latin based language. And wouldn’t you know, but that purple sign looks an awful lot like it says ‘maternity’ to me.”
“Shut up!” she snapped.
A few minutes later we stood surrounded by the moans of pregnant people and the cries of fresh new lungs wailing at their first taste of cold air.
I smiled sweetly at my disgruntled mother.
Luck was with us however. A nearby father noticed us and came over to ask if we needed help. With perfect English he gave us clear directions.
As we finally approached the right area for walk in services it was clear how we’d missed it the first time. A large swathe of the front of the building was covered in tarps. A huge wall sized window was broken, and construction was taking place, but at least it had a bustle of people and a clear line. We sat down in the queue of chairs.
While we sat some police officers came in. They walked up to a man ahead of us in line and with few words exchanged they handcuffed and led him politely away.
I was genuinely so out of reality. Every new thing that happened was like a bizarre dream from the empty hallways to the maternity ward and now this tarp strewn waiting room in which people could just be calmly arrested.
It was a shock to me then when we reached the front and the nurse spoke with perfectly unaccented English to assess me. Not only did she know bladder but a whole slew of other medical words I couldn’t guess at. I peed on a stick and we waited.
When we got the results she told me it was good because they could give me antibiotics today for my now confirmed infection, but bad because I’d need the doctor to sign off. I nodded and my mom and I were escorted to yet another small room to wait.
When the doctor arrived I felt suddenly gangly and awkward. I’m not tall but I towered over this tiny French woman who radiated calm composure. She seemed to be around my grandmothers age. She looked up at my blushing face and said, “Bladder infection?” Her English had a much stronger accent than the nurse but with the same medical competence.
I nodded.
She nodded too and we sat in a still contemplative moment on my UTI.
“Do you have… boyfriend?”
My face was on fire, every cell of me wanting to flee from this tiny perfect old woman. I nodded.
She nodded too. We sat still in the knowledge that I had a boyfriend and a UTI.
“Do you and your boyfriend do… it?” Her delicate accent stretched it into “eet.”
I don’t know if she didn’t know the word for sex or if she thought saying “it” was kinder but I wanted to melt into the floor and cease to exist to escape my increasing mortification and her meaningful pause. I nodded.
“Okay,” she said kindly. “When you and your boyfriend do… it… you must make pee pee.”
I writhed slightly under the psychic damage of this elegant medical professional saying “pee pee” and I nodded more emphatically hoping she’d desist this torture.
She continued. “If you and your boyfriend do… it… five times? You make five pee pees. If you do it ten times, you make ten pee pees.”
My face had never been hotter, all the blood in my body had volcanoed to my head, pounding in my ears and valiantly attempting to give me an aneurism to end my suffering. There is no mortification as acute to a teenager as an adult talking about sex and here was this medical professional telling me about… it.
Meanwhile, my mother. Who should have been regretting her poor parenting and reflecting on her neglect in failing impart this vital part piece of sex ed to her kid. Alas, she was laughing herself sick the corner. She added to my embarrassment by quietly repeating “pee pee” and “it” under her breath as she wheezed and chortled.
The doctor patted my hand kindly and handed me the antibiotics. I got to spend the rest of my trip in Europe avoiding direct sunlight and listening to my mother parrot “Do you do… eet?”
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vixstarria · 4 months
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A night at the inn (part 1)
A night of relaxation at the inn. Inspired by a cursed screenshot of Astarion looking loopy, drunk and high.   
Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, tbc in part 2
Comfort, fluff, humour, banter, goes from very silly to very horny 
Bits that are definitely not canon that were written solely for my (and hopefully your) amusement. 
TW: It’s all very much in jest, but maybe give this one a skip if you’re struggling with any kind of substance addiction.  
Approximately 2,000 words 
“Don't be ridiculous, these silly druidic herbs have absolutely no effect on me, vampires have a natural immunity. Pass me the pipe again, I’ll prove it,” Astarion giggled uncontrollably.  
“Just hold on to it, friend, I don’t think anyone else will benefit from it,” replied Halsin. 
You, Astarion, Halsin, Karlach and Shadowheart were gathered in one of the inn’s rooms.  
Gale and Wyll were off doing whatever people who didn’t like having fun did. Possibly playing chess or reciting poetry to each other. And Lae’zel had had one look at your gathering before chk’ing, saying that someone competent needed to keep a cool head, and stalking off. 
You and Astarion were sitting crosswise on one of the beds, you nestled between his legs, your back against his chest. Shadowheart lounged on the opposite bed, with Karlach and Halsin settling on the floor between the beds.  
A scattering of glasses and opened bottles surrounded you, and a light haze hung in the air. Tadpoles, vampire lords, demons and gods could all wait until tomorrow. Tonight, for all you cared, all was well in your world.   
Earlier, Halsin had laid out an assortment of herbs, most of which you couldn’t name, and busied himself with mixing them in varying proportions and stuffing them into several smoking implements. Karlach had declined, saying there was no point and that she would stick to grog. You and Shadowheart partook in Halsin's ‘herbalist mastery' together with the druid. And now, to everyone's disbelief and amusement, so did Astarion. 
“What in the hells is in this?!” Astarion tittered, leaning back against the wall, his eyes shut and an idiotic smile on his face. You couldn’t look at him, lest it set off yet another chain reaction of giggling. 
“Part of it is moonflower, which mostly serves as an amplifier,” Halsin answered, cautiously. 
“And? What else?” You wondered whether whatever it was might help Astarion with his nightmares. The scent of the herb was vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite place what it was.  
“Wait! I want to guess.” Shadowheart leaned over to whisper to Halsin. He shook his head at her suggestions. Once he whispered back to her with the correct answer she collapsed on the bed with a guffaw. “Oh gods... So it is official.” 
“Halsin...” Astarion croaked. “Halsin, I will stab you... What did you give me?!” 
“I had a hunch, but it was intended as a joke – I didn’t really think it would do anything.” Halsin almost sounded apologetic.  
“Well, spill the beans, what is he smoking that’s so damned funny?! Vampire dust? Cow dung? Some kind of goblin foot fungus?” Karlach was also growing impatient.  
Halsin shook his head, laughing.  
“It’s catnip,” Shadowheart managed, still doubled over. “He’s losing his mind on catnip!” 
Once Astarion regained his ability to speak coherently, you couldn’t get him to shut up.  
Astarion hardly ever took lead in group conversations. He tended to stay on the outskirts of discussions, albeit always ready with a quip or observation. You wondered if his newfound loquaciousness was a glimpse of what he might have been like some 200 years ago. 
It helped that Karlach was bombarding him with questions about vampirism, which he was ordinarily reserved about.  
“So what happens if you consume normal food? Can you drink?” she asked. 
“Well... Kind of..? Although I think the tadpole has had some additional influence. I can drink liquids without becoming ill, as long as it’s not too much. They tend to taste vile or like nothing at all, or not have any effect on me. Coffee smells amazing but tastes like dirt, for example. But potions work, somehow,” he rambled. “Solids are a complete disaster though”. He refused to elaborate.  
“And the wine?” she persisted.  
“Red wine is palatable,” he said, swirling some in a glass that he held in his hand. “But if you want better than ‘palatable’ you really need something of good quality.” 
“You’re just a snob,” you interjected. 
“That may be so, but this is about having something called standards, darling, I’ll teach you about them someday”, he said with a kiss to your temple, as you elbowed him. “But there are ways of going around poor wine.” 
Astarion took your hand in his, pressing his lips against it. 
“May I?”  
Once he had your approval, he carefully punctured the tip of your ring finger with a fang. You idly mused about how completely unfazed you had become by having your skin pierced, as he dripped some of your blood into his wine. 
“Now stir.” He licked the drops of wine from your finger once you were done, and had a sip from his glass. “Like adding honey to tea... Now it’s delectable.” 
“Freaks,” said Karlach, lovingly.  
The conversation moved to him debating wines from various regions with Shadowheart, a subject they were both perhaps unsurprisingly well-versed in.  
“How kind of Lady Shar to leave you such detailed knowledge of something that truly matters, when wiping out so many other memories,” he observed.  
Eventually, the topic changed to Karlach’s years in the Hells, and what it had been like to set just about everything she touched ablaze until Dammon’s recent assistance.  
“Could you do me a favour and hold my hand in yours for a moment?” said Astarion, leaning towards and holding out a hand to Karlach.  
“I haven’t done this in so long this still makes me nervous, you know,” she said, taking his hand in both of hers. “Sorry if I lose my cool and burn you.” 
“I’m sure I’ve had worse,” he replied humourlessly. “...That should do it,” he said after a short while. “Gods, you really do run like a furnace.” You wondered where this was going.  
“Now could everyone look away? I’m about to do something disgustingly sentimental.” 
Immediately, four pairs of eyes including your own were locked on him.  
“Voyeuristic pricks...” he sighed. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 
He ran the back of his fingers delicately down your cheek before cupping it in his hand. It was warm, almost hot, as you nuzzled into it.  
“Well isn’t that cute,” Shadowheart remarked into her glass of wine.  
Astarion wasn’t always cold to the touch, not exactly. He became warmer after drinking blood. His body was heated by sunshine on sunny days, just like anything else. And after spending some time under blankets with you he felt almost cozy to snuggle against. But he’s never radiated heat the way the hand against your cheek did now.  
“It doesn’t feel like you,” you mustered, looking into his eyes. He gave you a wistful smile.  
“...If there is any other bodypart you’d like me to warm up for Tav’s benefit, do fuck off before you even ask,” said Karlach, breaking the brief silence that had descended onto the room, and the tender moment was gone, overtaken by yet another uproar of laughter. 
Things quieted down as the evening wore on. 
“I wonder what Lae’zel is doing,” said Shadowheart, who had been silently gazing off into space and occasionally blowing smoke rings for the past while. “Probably something infuriating.” 
“You should go tell her how utterly unimpressed you are with her,” goaded Astarion. 
“I should... I will,” she said, suddenly getting up, determination writ on her face, exiting the room with a surprisingly steady step. 
Karlach sighed. 
“I better go look after her and make sure they don’t need to be taken apart. ...Or that no one else does, if they don’t.” She followed Shadowheart.  
“Nature calls,” said Halsin, also getting up. “And I don’t think anyone’s fed Scratch and the owlbear cub.” 
It was just you and Astarion, who had been grazing your neck with his fangs with increasing impatience. 
“Do it,” you said as soon as the door shut behind Halsin. Instantly, you felt an icy chill in your neck and released a small moan as he bit down, drawing your blood, his hands roaming your body.  
“I’ve been thinking of nothing else for hours,” he breathed hoarsely, once he had his fill. Having a miniscule amount of your blood in his wine and then being unable to sate himself more thoroughly would have been the ultimate tease for him. He really did not think that through, per usual.  
You could have offered him your wrist at some point, your companions had witnessed that on numerous occasions. But you knew you both wanted something more intimate. And private.  
You sank onto the bed with Astarion on top of you, as he continued to lick at the puncture wounds, to get them to stop bleeding.  
“Think Halsin’s coming back?” you murmured.  
“Of course he is. Haven’t you seen how he’s been looking at us?” He wedged his hips between your legs as he continued to suck and lick at your neck, more slowly now.  
"Oh, has he been looking at us in some particular way?” you feigned ignorance. Astarion raised his head briefly to shoot you a look that said ‘oh please’.  
“Do you want him..?” He rolled his hips deliciously into yours as he asked that.  
“Stop teasing,” you whispered. You knew he wasn’t going to let you do anything with the erection you felt pressed against you. 
“Never. Do you want him?” He gave you a mischievous look.  
“I don’t know what you mean.” 
“Sorry darling, I’ll try to do a better job at explaining.” He raised himself back up, his face hovering just above yours. “Do you want to feel his hot, hard cock pumping in and out of you, while I watch?” He studied your reaction closely. “Oh you would like that, wouldn’t you..?” 
“Astarion-” It wasn’t easy to make you blush, but somehow he always found a way when he wanted to.   
“Shh love, I already know everything you’re going to say.” Astarion raised his voice in pitch (resulting in something that definitely DID NOT sound anything like you) and returned to your neck, planting a kiss further down with each sentence: “’I love you, Astarion. I only want you, Astarion. I don’t think you’re ready for this, Astarion. You’re going to regret this, Astarion.’” 
“How about, ‘you’re intoxicated, Astarion’?” 
“Barely,” he scoffed. “It’s worn off.” He tugged at your blouse’s lacing with his teeth. 
“Or maybe it’s ‘no, I don’t want that, Astarion’,” you lied.  
He chuckled at those words and came back up to whisper in your ear. 
“My love... You’re forgetting I can hear your heartbeat. I can smell your arousal. Every time your breath hitches and your heart speeds up – I know. Any time blood suddenly rushes somewhere in your body – I know...”  
“That is an entirely unfair advantage,” you protested. 
“Yes, having a lover that anticipates your every need and reads you like a book is so, so tragically unfair, your poor, poor thing...” 
“And also it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it!” you continued. 
“Porridge,” Astarion whispered in his most seductive voice, grinding against you. “The philosophy and theory of divination, volume four. A bulging coin purse. Gale’s purple pajamas. ...Nope, nothing.” Astarion smirked, and continued in a more normal voice, stilling. “Now let’s try... You dripping wet and begging us both for mercy before the night is over.” He grinned wryly as you let out an involuntary whimper. “I thought so...” 
“You’ve told me yourself, you don’t want to share me with anyone,” you persisted.  
“It’s your heart I can’t bear to share. And he’s a wood elf,” Astarion said dismissively. “He may as well be a walking penis, who would get emotionally involved with that?” 
“You did not just call our honourable companion, the esteemed archdruid of the Emerald Grove a walking penis!” you hissed, choking on laughter, covering his mouth with your hand.  
“A giant phallus on legs,” Astarion mumbled stubbornly against your palm, licking it.  
You heard footsteps approaching the door.  
“Do you really want this?” you whispered, angling Astarion’s face to make him look you in the eyes, and releasing his mouth. “Be serious for a second.” 
“I want this,” he said, holding your gaze. “I really want this. As long as you do too.” 
The door opened, and you both turned your heads to regard the tall, broad figure that paused in the entryway, leaning against the doorframe.  
“Is it company or privacy you desire?” 
~~~~~
Part 2
More of my chaos gremlins
AO3
943 notes · View notes
forlix · 4 months
Text
"i did a thing." or, hyunjin needs an expert opinion about his newest piercing.
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words・1.4k / pairing・idol!hyunjin x gn!makeup artist!reader / genres・fluff, established relationship / author's note・takes place in the same universe as places, places! and crying lightning but can be read on its own. @astraystayyh your children are back :’)
The parlor door jingles. Hyunjin emerges onto the chilled pavement with his phone pressed to his ear, and you pick up on the fourth ring.
“What is it? I’m busy.” The way your voice shrinks substantiates this claim, like you’ve darted to the other end of the room promptly after accepting his call. “And you’re on speaker.”
Hyunjin ducks into his car and sits back against the nylon with a grateful sigh. He finds himself constantly ill-prepared for Seoul’s Januarys. “Busy with who? Remind me.”
“You wanna say hi?” You ask the person in your company. Who is it? He hears them ask, to which you answer: Hyunjin. You say it softly, in the sense that you’re far away and speaking under your breath, but softly, in the sense that your tongue caresses every syllable of his name with that tacit fondness he’ll never tire of.
He notices the ditzy smile on his face only when he glances into his rear-view. He’s long given up on wiping it off.
A familiar voice drifts into your receiver. “Mr. Hwang!”
Ah, that’s right—you’re working on Aespa’s new music video for the next two weeks. Today must be the first day of filming.
“Hey, Ningning! How are you?”
“In a predicament, honestly. I have the biggest crush on my stylist, but so does this other guy…”
“Damn, sounds tough. Best of luck.”
“Oh, I won’t need luck. I said predicament, not competition.” 
His jaw hits his wheel. “Okay, we’re boxing. Let’s go. Earrings off.”
“Say less!"
You’ve withstood enough. “Alright, nobody is boxing anyone—do not touch your earrings, Ning, what’s wrong with you? God, Hyunjin!”
Now you say his name sternly, hopelessly, like he’s just knocked ten years off your lifespan. He almost likes this version more. He fell in love with you listening to it, after all.
“Did you call for any reason aside from threatening my clients?”
Oh, right. He did.
Hyunjin glances into the rear-view again, intentionally this time. He moves aside a lock of maroon hair to review the silver studs glinting off his right eyebrow.
He smirks.
“Am I allowed on set?”
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Half an hour later, Hyunjin reaches the filming site and runs into a few staff members who are so surprised to see him they nearly forget to question what he’s doing there.
But they do their job, and he humors them, utters your name and the word “boyfriend” back to back. Then he watches their eyebrows disappear into their hairlines and basically prances into the dressing rooms.
He loves that everyone knows you. He loves that everyone knows that he loves you.
You were out of bed before he opened his eyes this morning, and he blooms at his first sight of you today, alone in the lounge, curled up on the couch and browsing through your phone. Eyeshadow stains your fingers and a pen sits behind the cuff of your ear. Your figure is framed in a (his) white cardigan with a red heart stitched over its left lapel. So professional, so pretty, that he doesn’t know what to do with himself, so he uses his words instead.
“I did a thing,” he says, plopping onto the cushion next to you.
You look at him, shut off your phone. “I figured.”
“Promise me you won’t get mad.”
“No.”
It was worth a shot. “Can you blink, at least? You’re scaring me.”
In turn, you stretch open your eyes and hold them there. “A blink would be more than you deserve right now.”
Insufferable. He unleashes a bashful laugh and singular clap and looks back at you just in time to see a matching smile on your cordate lips. And to see you blink.
“Seriously, though, no more suspense,” you plead. “What on earth did you do? Should I be worried?” 
You tuck your hand around his bicep and tug lightly at his arm, and his insides pirouette at the gesture.
“No, no,” he answers, letting you pull him close, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I was being dramatic. It’s nothing, really.”
You catch him as he’s trying to leave. A light finger hooks beneath his chin, an anchor to keep his face a mere few inches away from yours.
You look him in the right eye, then in the left, your expression stoic, scrutinizing. He doesn’t remember where he looks, in the meantime. He’s slipping and sliding out of his right mind, drinking in your long lashes and curved cheeks, wondering what heroic deed he performed in his last life to be able to study beauty in such proximity in this one.
“It’s not nothing, is it?” You query, tracing the tip of your pointer finger over Hyunjin’s cupid’s bow.
“No,” he exhales. “It’s not nothing.”
“Did you get it on your face?”
Of course you already know.
He nods, and the finger moves to his lower lip, gently indenting the glossy plush. 
“Hot or cold?” 
“Cold.”
The finger runs over the bridge of his nose, then the perimeter of its prominence, like the drag of a feather. 
“Warmer.”
You lift a brow, give the side of his face a small nudge, and say, turn. The word comes out in a very stylist-esque manner, and you and Hyunjin realize this at the same time, judging by the synchrony of your quiet chuckles.
“Force of habit,” you murmur, and move his hair out of the way and lean in to examine his ear. Nothing new there. He turns his face the other way before you have to ask. Nothing new there, either.
When he looks at you again, your gaze has locked onto his eyebrows. You cock your head slightly to one side as it dawns on you what he’s done.
“Warmer,” he offers anyways, his smile small, his pulse rapid.
With a flourish of movement, you push his purple locks all the way off his forehead. Hyunjin holds his breath. Your expression goes blank. 
But it’s not blank, not really. One just has to know where to look. (He does.)
Your eyes darken fast as if caught in a solar eclipse, your pupils doubling in size, your irises quivering slightly. Your mouth opens, then closes, then purses into a thin line as if suppressing something explosive. Your cheeks blush at their very outskirts, along the edges of your face and the slants of your cheekbones, like how the first rays of sunlight always skim the mountaintops first.
He hardly notices the finger you bring to brush over the studs, so carefully he doesn’t feel the contact.
He’s too busy basking in his victory.
Neither of you say anything for a long while. You lean back, then right, then left, your hand pinned to his hairline, your gaze superglued to his brow. He simply sits still, feeling like one of your French girls, simpering, simping.
“You really did it,” you finally say.
“I did,” he chirps. “Any notes?”
At the next part of your lips, your waiting smile overtakes them at long last. You duck your head to conceal it like he hasn’t already melted at its mere image. You deliver your answer to your knees.
“No?” He repeats incredulously, teasingly. “That’s a shame. I really could’ve used an expert opinion.”
You roll your eyes hard enough for them to tug at your sockets. His boyish grin wipes away your feigned irritation like warm cotton.
“Fine,” you grouse. “Look at me.”
He does. You look back.
“It's nice," you deadpan.
Your resolve wobbles.
"Complements your face…shape.”
The ‘p’ sound pops, and you lose your shit.
The sun fully risen now, you bury your burning face into your hands, your shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Meanwhile, the raucous cackle that leaves Hyunjin’s lips causes the intern hurrying past the lounge outside to jump so high he actually lets go of his coffee cups before snatching them back out of the air with a relieved groan. He doesn’t get paid enough. 
You think you’re getting paid too much. 
“I love it, Hyun,” you whisper. “You’re beautiful. I don’t tell you that enough."
His heart beats so rapidly he thinks it might take off into a sprint; his laugh dwindles into a ditzy smile, one he’s long given up on wiping off.
“You know nothing about that word,” he replies, softly.
You bring your lips to his. His fingers wrap around the crook of your elbow. Yours begin curled in the silken hair at the back of his head. The pen behind your ear falls into the cracks of the couch.
“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh against his mouth, your own statement debunked by the inevitable drift of your touch back to the metal lodged in his face.
He doesn’t need to call you out. You do it yourself: “Ugh. I’ll be mad at you later.”
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🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp・ @automaticpersonabatpaper・@aceofvernons・@linos-kitten・@newhope8
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© forlix (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡
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midnightcinderella · 6 months
Text
People who would suffer at NRC
Each dorm has at least one of these students and god help them. This is very self-indulgent and each trait applies to me. If you relate, then rip to the both of us.
No proof-reading, we rawdog this shit. Word count: ~1300 Notes: no gendered pronouns for reader. mentions of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. mentions of illness. no romantic relationships
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Heartslabyul
People with ADHD. Rip to us fr.
You'd forget at least a handful of rules a day, but it's really not your fault. Riddle better get off your case istg.
The ones who are more devoted to remaining productive make big colorful signs all over the damn place.
In their own rooms would be stuff like a box that says "keys and wallet go here" or a sign by the door with a checklist of what they need before they go, like homework or textbooks.
There are signs in common areas, too. They'll say stuff like curfew times or reminders of jobs that need to be done around the dorm.
There's always backlash if Riddle tries to take them down for being an eyesore because not only do they help ADHD students remember what needs to be done but students without ADHD, too. No sane person is gonna be thinking about feeding flamingos 24/7.
Savanaclaw
People with asthma. Place is dusty as shit. And hot. And humid at times.
I'm surprised the beastman students haven't taken any measure to seal off the inside of the dorm to prevent and from getting in. Guess everyone doesn't mind inhaling dust straight into their lungs.
Not to mention regular exercise is a dorm-wide tradition. Shoutout to my fellow mile walkers <3
If you have asthma and a dander/dust allergy, I'd just drop out tbh.
People who easily overheat/sweat. Double rip to us.
Get ready to go back and forth with your dormmates about smelling bad after sweating. It's a common occurrence. Someone sasses you, you sass back, and you're friends again 3 minutes later.
Everyone will think you're dying when you're dripping sweat after some stretches outside. No, you're not tired, you're just hot.
Octavinelle
People who are bad at math/bad with money. Listen.
The dorm isn't full of people who are as business minded as Azul, but there are students that offer accounting help for a fee. Negotiate that fee for the love of god.
Thankfully, you won't be scammed out of house and home because:
(1) it's generally frowned upon to scam people within Octavinelle; you don't hurt one of your own. It's about loyalty.
(2) someone is likely to take pity on you and will throw you a bone, telling you about a huge sale or where to find good job opportunities.
People who are gullible. Once again, double rip.
And once again, thank the lucky stars that loyalty is such a big thing here so you might be tricked into doing someone's job for them like mopping the Lounge, but nothing that would hurt you too badly.
If a study partner tries to feed you false information for shiggles, that'll get shut down real quick by another student. If your grades go down, then the whole dorm goes with you.
Good thing that doesn't happen often, and Azul offers his study guides for a highly discounted price to his own.
Scarabia
People who don't do well with sudden changes in temperature. Man, listen.
Hellishly hot during the day and even more hellishly cold at night. Dante would be thrilled.
God forbid you have any athletic activities close to sunset because you'll have to shower off that sweat quick before you freeze to death.
If anyone has a problem with the sound of the hairdryer after sundown, they're just gonna have to deal with it or risk catching your inevitable cold.
Speaking of, if sudden changes in temperature make you sick, double rip. I know your pain.
Kalim may not be able to come see you in person, but if he finds out you're sick, he'll send meds and some warm food. If that food was made by Jamil, then you owe him one.
You don't wanna owe him one.
If you need to leave your room after sundown, you're going to do it wrapped up with a blanket over your head. If someone mistakes you for a ghoul, that's their own problem.
Pomefiore
People with depression. Listen. Someone without depression could find it hard to keep such a strict regimen day in and day out; do not expect too much out of us.
If you think that means you're getting out of it, though, you'd be wrong.
Group accountability is a thing here. If you need help sticking to your routine, you're getting it. You can't refuse.
You're all going to be beautiful together, goddammit.
If that chronic fatigue be hittin ya, you might get a pass for a few steps of your routine. But if a particularly caring dormmate decides you have to do the full routine and straight up does it for you, lol.
Depending on how you view that sort of help, it might be really nice. Or maybe a little humiliating.
The dorm kitchen is only going to have healthy ready-made snacks. So if it's a day where you can't cook or go all the way to the cafeteria, that is what you're working with. Either that or you crawl your way over the the Shop for a candy bar.
Ignihyde
People who struggle with technology. Yes there are young people who aren't great with technology. We exist. Mind your business.
No matter how many classes you take teaching you how to use MagExcel, it never sticks for long. Even if you pass the exams, all your knowledge leaves to go buy milk by the time the week is over.
You're gonna need to interrupt people's gaming sessions to ask for help. It may annoy them, but you're doing it anyway because you refuse the reinvent the wheel 12 times.
People who prefer paper over screens. Call me old fashioned but staring at screens all day Hurts My Eyes.
You'd get physical copies of your textbooks if you could, but those free pdfs your classmates pass around are too tempting to pass up. They're free, for god's sake.
You also might be limited to board games on game nights. They're not bad, but there's not a whole lot you can do with them. You're a wiz at Cards Against Reality tho.
Every so often Ignihyde has a dorm-wide game night where everyone sits around in the common room with their headphones in, playing their own games. Together.
Though the board game players are in the next room. Oddly enough, they're the rowdiest of the bunch, and it sounds like they have the most fun by the way they're yelling and cheering.
You have seen some nerd fights start over a game of Ichi.
Diasomnia
People who have anxiety. One, Lilia is a menace. Two, your housewarden is the Malleus Draconia. Meep.
Whether it's Lilia or Malleus you run into, it feels like your heart will explode at any time.
Not to mention it's so dark in and outside of the building for no good reason. What's a fella gotta do to get some fucking sunlight in here? You're sick of worrying about what could be behind every corner.
You once wondered if Malleus needed a UV/heat lamp, but knew better than to ask. That doesn't mean you're not curious, though.
People who dislike loud sounds. I don't think I have to explain this one.
At first you thought that staying near Silver meant that you'd be staying away from Sebek, but that wasn't the case and you were at a loss as to what to do.
Then you tried going in the other direction whenever you saw Malleus, but all that did was send Sebek after you personally, asking very loudly why you did not want to be around Lord Malleus.
At one point, you got sick of his shit and muzzled him via magic. Then Malleus showed up and you were all oh shit. But then all he did was chuckle about how you were getting along so well. You took that to mean he wouldn't ever stop you from muzzling Sebek.
You were right.
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bebebelll · 6 months
Text
does anyone know her dad? daniel ricciardo smau (part 1)
pairing: daniel ricciardo x toto's secret child!reader / daniel ricciardo x schumacher and wolff!reader warnings: cursing and some general fandom hate wags get note: first time doing this i dont know if this right but lets go! part 2, part 3 and part 4
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mickschumacher happy birthday to @ynquads !! sorry for crashing into the cake! mama said she'll make you another
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 122 498 others
gina_schumacher thanks for almost cropping me out of the picture
mickschumacher it's about yn!! ynquads i though i was you favourite cousin gigi :( why u being so mean to me :( i'll go tell my parents micschumacher ill tell mama you're being mean to yn username123 always love seeing mick and yn be annoying little siblings
maxverstappen1 congrats! is it enough to say it here or do i have to make my own post? ive given you a present
ynquads bring me cowboy boots from austin and you dont have to
username cute cute cute cute cute cute
username honestly schumacher genes dont even feel real anymore
username right!?!?! i want yn to win the figure skating grand prix but then i remember that video where she went karting with max username like a billion drivers and a skater and the good looks in ONE family? god really does have favourites
lewishamilton happy birthday! it's been great seeing you grow up
username excuse me sir? what do you mean grow up?
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ynquads visited japan for a wedding and now i'm all ready for skate america!! let's gooo cricket club!!
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, susie_wolff and 112 666 others
username YOU GOT INVITED TO YUZURU'S WEDDING
ynquads i even got to bring daniel🤭
danielricciardo it was a lovely wedding❤️❤️(ours is gonna be better)
username excuse what the fuck lewishamilton actually you're not allowed to marry her without our permission danielricciardo whose permission would i even ask? lewishamilton every german speaking driver and like three team bosses good luck
username ARIANA (our queen & god susie wolff) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
maxverstappen1 daniel's being gross make him stop
danielricciardo am not! ynquads lmao throw bread at him danielricciardo all the love ive given you and this is how you repay me? ynquads ooh i'll repay you 😏 maxverstappen1 dont be weird under my comment
username oh she has time to fly to japan but not go to a single race ever
username babes danny has not been in the since zandvoort. theres been no race to go see him username they've been together for like three years and she's only been to less than ten races username like seriously cant she ever be supportive username you people do realize she's an athlete too?
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ynquads we got silver!!!💪🥈🥈🥈congrats to kaori sakamoto 🥇 and isabeau levito🥉 (also thanks uncle lewis for dinner)
tagged: lewishamilton
liked by maxverstappen1 and 237 274 others
nicorosberg he gave you alcohol?
ynquads i have never actually drank alcohol at all in my entire life (also dad was there i was not even allowed to get food that had rum in the sauce) maxverstappen1 oh yeah we did not at all just get drunk ynquads shut up before nico goes to talk to my DAD
username are we all just gonna ignore that she calls lewis "uncle" like seriously how disrespectful is that
username calm the fuck down she calls him and all the older grid (especially sebastian) uncle so it is not new
danielricciardo why you holding your head like that? is it heavy from all the pretty? i can hold it for you
nicorosberg this is who you choose @ynquads danielricciardo why are you bullying me too??? ynquads hes funny onkel nico (uncle) username how is nico rosberg here dragging danny ric? you dont even follow him?
username EVERYBODY CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT A DRILL WE HAVE A CHANCE TO HAVE YN WIN THIS YEAR'S GRAND PRIX PLEASE BE ON EVERY PODIUM
susie_wolff congrats honey! we're really proud!
username i still think it's so damn weird she just hangs out with the older grid. how does she even know then to go on dinners
username okay but when the hell did this even happen? i follow yn and she trains in toronto and during summer is in germany or england. she doesnt attend the races? how the fuck is she and DANIEL RICCIARDO together babes
username i bet my life that max introduced them i can feel it in my bones that he planned this username "oh sorry i won by 30 secs and you have a shitbox to drive, wanna meet my friend she's great gf material? you have no chance without help" ynquads i mean.... username OH MY GOD
username she's such a shit girlfriend honestly. she dates daniel for publicity and then drags lewis down too
username what the fuck are you smoking??
username how the FUCK did daniel ricciardo bag the talented pretty QUAD QUEEN MISS YN SCHUMACHER!!! thats my wife actually! what about our kids and three lambs??
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f1wagsupdates paparazzi has released a video of mercedes team boss toto wolff exiting a restaurant and driving off with a young woman. even though she tried to cover herself, the woman was quicky identified as yn schumacher. she is a figure skater and 20+ years younger. in an interview from home yn can be seen walking around the wolff kitchen in little clothing. is this the ending to toto's perfect looking marriage with fellow motorsport boss susie wolff?
liked by 10 385
username if i dont read it, it doesnt exist. no one's cheating ever
username toto and susie's kid is like 5 how could he throw that away??
username its always the goddamn family men fucking over their wives and kids
username this is such bullshit. toto and susie have been together since like 2011 this is so horrible
username little clothing? she's wearing like pajamas
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651 notes · View notes
cryptidcorners · 6 months
Text
Josh Futturman x Reader Headcanons
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= Character: Josh Futturman
= Media: Show!Future Man
= Prompt: N/A
= Description: Just !Platonic & !Romantic mixed Headcanons!
= Request: N/A
= Tags: Fluff ! Headcanons, Shy/Awkward Josh, Romantic + Platonic, Established Relationship, Some Comfort + Reader is !GN
= Warnings: None.
= Please Read my INTRO before interacting !
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Josh has always struggled to maintain relationships, including ones with friends. Not only because he's incredibly socially awkward, but his escapism within videogames plays a major factor. So, he treasures what he has with you much more seriously than anyone you knew.
Rambles about his games all the time. His interests are something you can never get him to shut up about. Josh is usually into strategies, lore & development, his favorite being "Biowars", which you already knew had quite the reputation for being a challenging videogame.
He's pretty bubbly, especially around you. Josh is an absolute sweetheart and will get flustered at almost anything. His childish personality roots out much more when you're around, mostly because Josh feels more comfortable.
He isn't very open about his feelings, mostly because he's afraid of losing people. Josh desperately wants to be a part of something and refuses to mess it up somehow. Josh, however, is very different when you're opening up. He'll advise, comfort and try to cheer you up. (It's actually crazy how good his advice is sometimes.)
Josh is content with following you anywhere, as long as it doesn't involve his house or hear his parents. If I'm going to be honest, if he's particularly choosing somewhere to lounge, it'd be an arcade. It's a field where he specializes in and he can impress you easily. It's also somewhere he can discard his low self-esteem and indulge in his skills.
Praise is like a drug to Josh. Compliments or any sight of you liking him (or what he's doing), he feels intense dopamine. He really enjoys making people happy.
He's pretty charismatic sometimes, even when he's not trying to be. Josh is usually awkward when directly talking to somebody with a set question or goal in mind, but when he needs to go with the flow, it's much more grounded. With you in mind, Josh is much more relaxed, so he isn't as shy as he is with strangers.
Wouldn't exactly say he's very affectionate, but he wouldn't mind hugging either. Again, Josh is pretty awkward, and I doubt he rarely showcases soft intimacy around anyone (whenever it's platonic or romantic). He would love to do it, but he's very shy. Though, he isn't afraid to try. If you ask, he's perfectly fine with holding your hand or sitting close.
As I mentioned, Josh is very tentative on affection, especially receiving it, but he loves getting his hair and face touched. Dude needs love.
Digs through your trash. He doesn't have any ill intents, but Josh will take time out of his day to scavenge through waste instead of asking you a minor question. I know I mentioned he's very relaxed around you, but Josh definitely overthinks, especially with relationships. He tries his best.
Will cry real tears of joy if you ever give him something. Josh really appreciates gifts, no matter who it's from. Even if it's not game related, he's definitely holding onto it for a while. (Bonus Points If: It's an animal toy, a decoration or handmade.)
Romantically speaking, he enjoys kissing you or indulging in anything sweet. A lot of giggling & sweet talk. Josh isn't very experienced in relationships like this, so he tried to wing it. Needless to say, he probably gets advice from Google images and it's adorable to see him try his best to impress you.
Will always defend you, even if he fails miserably. Absolute trooper.
Josh will one hundred percent get emotional at any piece of film he is watching with you. Especially if it's a game cutscenes and it involves animals.
Huge softie. I don't think Josh can handle saying anything remotely mean to you or reviving it. If he does, expect a flood of apologies.
Can get way into character sometimes, whatever context this is. You know what I'm talking about.
Very clingy. No other words.
Lastly, he'd definitely call you nicknames in the cutest way possible. If he lets you call him "Joshy", you've probably earned the highest pillar of his trust.
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heartfullofleeches · 6 months
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Carnis [Yan Experiment] General Hcs
A little post exploring the character of my new love Carnis Warnings for Cannibalism, Self Harm and Murder.
• Carnis is a lab made Human/Cow Hybrid created with regenerative abilities for the purpose of organ harvesting to be used on ill patients and as a source of food for the population. A shy, anxious creature who only wants to be loved. They are one of around a dozen successful experiments and the only S ranking Hybrid with meat a similar quality to prime Angus beef. The project was shut down by higher ups after complications and the still living subjects were to be sold to the highest bidder. Through biting through their chains and the aid of a third party Carnis was able to escape before the auction. They are presumed to be deceased.
• Carnis knows very little about the human world. As they grew, it was imprinted into their impressionable mind that all they are is livestock. Due to this idea, Carnis may grow upset or feel they are worthless if Reader rejects their offers of fresh meat. They both reject the notion all they are is meat, and clings to it as their only way to get what they desire. Carnis believes love to be a reward for them to gain by doing everything in their power to prove their worth from sacrificing their flesh to keeping a tidy house.
• Carnis prefers they/them pronouns, but as long as they are treated well name/pronouns does not matter to them. She/Her and It are the only ones they don't like as the former doesn't feel right and the latter reminds them of their time in the facility.
• When under extreme bouts of stress, Carnis bites/claws at their skin sometimes until they see bone. The easiest way to negate these reactions is by holding their hands or if they are wearing something that belongs to reader as their scent calms them down and they would hate to get their blood on something that belongs to them.
• Carnis is not aggressive by default nor do they typically rely on violence to get their way, but if they see anyone attack Reader in any form they have little control on what their body tells them to do. This can be something as harmless as a friend teasingly pushing them. When enraged, Carnis will not stop until the threat is neutralize or if Reader is able to smooth them in time. Their teeth and nails are their primary weapons which they will use to rip out the jugular and face of their target. Will cry like a baby afterwards and immediately seek Reader for comfort for what they've done
• Carnis has a habit of repeating words they say and parroting what others say as well. This majorly stims from learning most of their vocabulary from researchers and guards they interact with. They have been shunned for this feat in the past and often try to think deeply before they speak with unfamiliar persons, but with Reader they are at their most relaxed and thus their speech is relaxed as well.
Another thing they only allow Reader to do is touch their hair, horns and tail. Their hair is the only thing that doesn't naturally regenerate which leads to them valuing it more than anything below Reader and their horns and tail have just always been a touchy area considering majority of the population don't have either. Playing in their hair or rubbing their horns are sure-fire ways to smooth them or help them fall asleep during restless nights.
• Junk Food and Candy has always been a luxury to them as their former caretakers withheld them a treats for compliance which is why they attempt to woo Reader with both. It is their go to method of cheering reader up when they are down - keeping various candies and treats on them at all times. Their idolization of sweet and treats runs so deep one reason they may fall for Reader is them just giving them a piece of chocolate.
[That's all for now! I'm literally so obsessed with this little sweetie so there will be more]
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lnfours · 5 months
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Hey girl, could you maybe do something fluffy with Lando? Really just anything. Thank you ily🫶
of course i can 🫶🏻
warnings: fluff, language, lando not being sure on how to ask his crush out on a date
lando brainrot? lando brainrot.
max looked over at his friend with raised eyebrows, watching as the boy he had known almost his whole life watched the girl across the room with an expression he only wore when you were around.
unbeknownst to him, everyone knew of lando’s soft spot for you. how he’d open doors for you, insist on paying for your coffee, how he’d show up to the apartment with little gifts from all around the world simply because ‘they reminded him of you’. it was really no secret, but it wasn’t like he was doing a good job at hiding it.
especially right now, his eyes filling with that look as he watched you talk with oscar at the mclaren event he had invited you and max to. you had picked out a stunning dress that hugged you in all the right places and had complimented your skin tone so well. he was half tempted to thank ria for convincing you to splurge on the silk dress.
“would you just go talk to her?” max groaned, taking a sip from his drink.
lando whipped his head around to his best friend, “what?”
“you heard me,” max chuckled, “she’s not going to stay single for long, y’know. plus, she’s into you, what’ve you got to lose?”
lando was more focused on the second sentence coming from his best friends mouth, “she’s into me?”
max rolled his eyes, “anyone with eyes can see the two of you drooling over each other anytime you’re in the same room.”
“i don’t drool,” lando teased back, saying it matter-of-factly.
“yeah? what’s that? right there?” max teased and lando shoved his arm playfully.
“shut up, mate.”
just then, your eyes had landed on your friends, smiling before you made eye contact with the brunette, waving him over, “lan, c’mere!”
max leaned closer to his friend, whisper yelling to him, “this is your chance!”
lando shook his head, walking to where you were laughing with his teammate. you smiled at his presence, motioning over to oscar, “i was just telling him about how i beat you in karting that one time.”
“yeah?” lando asked, turning to his friend, “did she also tell you that she almost crashed at the first turn?”
oscar laughed, a look of amusement on his face as he looked over at your gasping face, “no, she didn’t!”
you slapped his arm playfully, slightly giggling, “no i didn’t!”
“whatever you say, love,” he hummed, looking down at your drink that was almost empty, “want another drink?”
you twisted your lips in thought before shrugging, “sure,”
“i’m gonna go find lily,” oscar said, “ill catch up with the two of you later.”
you both nodded and bid a small goodbye before you looked over at your best friend, a small smile on your face, “accompany me to the bar?”
he smiled, offering you his arm, “it’d be my pleasure.”
you linked your arm with his, hand resting on his bicep as the two of you walked through the crowd.
“you look gorgeous tonight, by the way.” lando stated, leaning closer to your ear so you could hear him speak.
your cheeks felt hot, but you looked up at him anyway, “thank you,” your eyes traveled over his suit, “guess you clean up well, too.”
he smiled, looking over his outfit, “you think so?”
you nodded, stepping in front of him as the both of you approached the bar, reaching up to fix his tie, “i know so.”
“fancy another drink?” the bartender had cut the moment short, you turning back around to face the man in front of you who wore a polite smile.
“yes, please. i’ll have another vodka cran,” you smiled, looking back at lando, “and a water for him.”
the bartender nodded, “coming right up.”
you turned back to your friend who was already looking back at you before he spoke up, “you having a good time?”
you nodded, “i am, thank you for inviting me.”
“it’s actually really nice having you here,” he said, “wish you could come to all of these.”
“me too.”
“here you are, a vodka cran and a water for the gentleman.”
you thanked the bar tender, taking the cups from the bar top before you handed the water to the man behind you. he accepted it, you raising your glass to his.
“to another year with mclaren,” you smiled, “and more podiums.”
“and us.” he smiled back at you before the both of you clinked your cups, taking sips shortly after.
“mm,” he hummed, swallowing his drink down before he continued, “i’ve got a question for you.”
you raised an eyebrow, “hmm?”
“would you want to..” he trailed off, his eyes on yours as he suddenly felt the nerves come over him in a rush, “um, did you want to maybe get dinner?”
you looked at him, “as friends or… as in a date?”
he swallowed, trying to suppress his nerves, “a date.”
you smiled again, for what felt like the hundredth time, and each time was because of the boy in front of you. you nodded, taking a sip of your drink.
“i’d love to.”
i’m his nerves washed away, grinning down at you, “really?- uhm, how about friday? when i’m done training?”
you nodded, “sounds perfect.”
he nodded back at you, “okay, cool- i mean, great!”
you laughed softly at his nervous stammering, “pick me up at 6?”
he opened his mouth to speak before getting cut off by the sound of someone calling his name. he looked over to where it was coming from, spotting jon and zak waving him over.
“6 is good,” he nodded, “i’ll catch you in a bit?”
you grinned back at him and nodded, “come find me.”
he smiled and nodded, making his way over to his trainer and his boss, looking back over at you with a smile before turning his attention back to the conversation.
a presence joined you at the bar, watching you watch the man across the room, “did he finally ask you?”
you didn’t have to look at the person next to you to realize who it was, the australian accent giving it away, “yeah, he did.”
“thank god,” oscar sighed, “you’re all he talks about, y’know.”
you smiled over at the aussie next to you, “i know,”
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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 12 days
Text
Anyone other than you
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Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆
Summary- You and your supposed "enemy" get stuck in a cupboard while on a duo mission
Warnings- violence, gunshots, emo Wanda, mean Wanda, forced proximity, claustrophobia, confusion, not proofread!!
A/n - I dont know whether I hate this tbhhh idk whether it's because it took me sm breaks to write it but it feels off idkk
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You entered the quinjet while sighing to yourself. How did you let this happen? You thought as you buckled on your seatbelt. Getting put on a duo mission with the one woman on the team who hates your guts. Wanda Maximoff.
You never had any idea what you'd done to make her despise you so much but nothing you ever did seemed to make up for it. Everytime you spoke in a meeting you could feel her stare digging into your soul. The way she'd scowl when she entered what she'd presume to be an empty room only to find you inside. She'd always mumble something in a language you didn't understand before flouncing out the room. Things weren't any better when you were part of a group with her either. She'd barely respond if you asked her something or flat out ignore you.
It wasn't like you hadn't tried to get along with her either, trying to be as friendly with her as you were with everyone else. Offering to make her food, help her with household chores or help out with her mission reports but nothing you did ever seemed to stop her from glaring at you. She wasn't known to be the most outgoing person but you never saw her act this way with anyone else so eventually you gave up deciding it best to ignore her the way she did you.
Now, unfortunately you didn't have that luxury anymore. You'd begged and begged Tony not to put you on this duo mission even contemplating getting ill to avoid it. He had insisted you had to go on this mission apparently you and Wanda had the 'specific' skills skillset for this mission, whatever that meant you knew he was just bullshitting to get you to shut up.
So now here you were getting ready to set off on your two day long stealth mission with the girl who could barely stand to look at you let alone talk and work with you.
You'd arrived at the hotel room you'd be sharing with Wanda and thanked God that you'd got their first and the fact there was two beds. Quickly you threw down your bag on the bed closest to the window and began to check out the rest of the hotel room.
You were smelling the soaps in the bathroom when in clomped Wanda, her doc Martins still managing to make some kind of noise over the soft carpeted floor. She was dressed in a long baggy grey sweater and black skirt with patterned fishnets. Her hands adorned with rings and her short bitten at nails painted black.
"It smells of smoke." She thinks out loud without noticing your precense in the room.
"Yeah sorry about that it's my new signature perfume." You try to joke hoping she might happen to be over her constant anger with you. You study her face through the bathroom mirror as you speak watching out for her reaction. At first you see the possibility of a smile forming on her face and a rosy colour on her cheeks but quickly it's replaced by her signature scowl and a disgusted noise sneaking past her lips.
"Oh. You're here." She talks as if she'd expected someone else to be here despite the many debriefs you'd had together about this mission.
You for one had had enough of her attitude around you acting as if you were something below her. "Yes I'm here like it or not. Can we at least just be civil for the sake of this mission." You groan while walking over to where she's stood, raking your hands through your hair. In response she grumbled out some kind of agreement and that was it.
So far things had been going fine, you'd both kept to your own routine with minimal communication between the two of you. For the most part you'd spent your time exploring the hotel you were staying in. It was cheap and smelt damp. You for sure would be complaining at how you got booked in this dingy one star place once this mission was over. You'd been excited originally as the hotel advertised having a twenty five metre indoor swimming pool which was plenty to keep you occupied however when you inquired at the desk the receptionist, who'd been ignoring you stood there for ten minutes while she read her magazine, told it was shut indefinitely.
Eventually you had to return to the room and when you did Wanda was already fast asleep on her bed, small snores sounding occasionally. You took note of how pretty she was when she wasn't scowling before sliding into your own bed for the night.
You'd done the first half of the mission with relative ease, you and Wanda putting a side your differences for the greater good. Now it seemed as if things were taking a turn for the worse. Upon arrival you'd both scouted the building for any kind of agents or security around the building but found none however now it seemed the building was filling up with them. Two men following behind who you were attempting to fire at and run away from, which is much harder than Natasha makes it look in training.
From the whimper of pain which sounded sounded out and echoed down the corridor you assumed you shot one. This was your chance to lose them and Wanda realised that too as you both picked up the pace of your running.
Out of nowhere she grabbed your arm and dragged you inside a small dark box? No it can't be a box you thought as you looked above you and saw an empty clothing rail. It was a cupboard. Your eyes scanned around the little space you had while trying to avoid eyecontact with Wanda who was leaning over top of you with one hand next to your head against the wall of the cupboard to keep her upright.
Quickly the cramped and uncomfortable space became all too much for you. The lack of oxygen in there made you take shallow breaths and sweat pooled from your forhead. It felt like the walls were closing in. You should get out. No you had to. Trying to move to force yourself out startled Wanda who gripped onto your shoulder to avoid you both tumbling out and compromising your hiding place.
"What are you doing? Just stay still." She whispered angrily. Had her voice always sounding that good up close? At that thought a frown crossed your face and you briefly forgot how badly you needed to get out of this space you were entrapped in. It didn't make you completely forget though as you came to your senses and stopped thinking about how nice Wanda's voice was and remembered how your heart was thundering in your chest and you whole body ached to get out of this cupboard.
"Have to.. to get out." You breathe out, expecting some kind of rude response from her as your breathing further quickens and vision fogs up. Her actual response is nothing you'd ever thought you'd hear her say.
"Look at me y/n." She waits to make sure your making eyecontact with her before continuing. "Its going to be okay, this is all okay and this is nothing you can't do. Just focus on me not the four walls.." her voice was soothing and not completely unlike a lullaby. You still felt unsettled but nothing like before when you were desperate to get out. "Your gonna be fine." She says again as she takes your hand in her own gently squeezing it. The cool feeling of her silver rings against your sweaty palms helping further calm you down as your breathing once again becomes steady.
After a few minutes of silence where you just focus on your breathing and the feeling of Wanda's thumb rubbing against the back of your hand you begin to speak. "Thanks.. I know you don't really like me or anything but I appreciated that a lot."
"Its nothing really... also your stood on my foot." She tells you returning to her usual cold snappy voice. Quickly you moved your foot away muttering apologies as you did, unsure how long you'd been stood on her foot. "I don't hate you either. Well not really."
Your about to question her on why she acts this way around you if she really doesn't hate you but before you can she opens the cupboard door and you both stumble out thankful for the airy space around you. "Don't bring this up y/n." She says before leading the way out leaving you trailing behind a little confused. Was she mean? Did she hate you? Was that all for the mission?
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