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ladybugout-au · 3 years

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Marinette placed the final box of baked goods on the stack, pulling up the strings she'd set underneath them so she could tie everything together. "Alright! That should do it!" She put her hands on her hips, looking proud of herself, though faltered as she realized, "Oh, but what if there aren't enough options? What if they have an allergy?"

"That was everything your parents could part with," Tikki reminded her.

Marinette whined. "I know. They're kind of leftovers too, but I didn't want to just swoop in as Ladybug and go hey, I have some new heroes I'm meeting, do you mind if I buy some of your baked goods for them because I know they would've insisted that I take a bunch of the fresh stuff for free." Rubbing the back of her head, she gave a one-armed shrug. "It was just easier to ask for anything that was still good but they didn't want to sell exactly."

"I guess so," Tikki hummed, though it was obvious that she didn't really get it. Marinette supposed that a kwami couldn't really understand the value of money and briefly imagined Tikki with a tiny purse of coins.

Shaking her head of any amusement that brought, she walked over to her mirror, feeling her face and checking the tightness of her pigtails holders. "Tikki, how's my hair look?"

"Won't your hair just go back to perfectly-brushed pigtails when you transform anyway?" Tikki asked.

Marinette supposed she was right. Thanks to her transformation, many a Parisian had been saved from seeing their hero sporting a bedhead during early morning akuma battles.

"...Alright," she decided, carefully undoing her hair ties and fluffing up her hair. "In that case, hair down it is."

Tikki blinked, flying over to ask, "What do you mean?"

Marinette glanced at her in the mirror. "Because then I can at least feel like I'm doing my hair up for it! I have to look nice!"

A tilt of the head was her response. "It's not that I'm not happy that you're taking this so seriously, but why the fuss?"

Gasping, almost in offense, Marinette replied, "I have to make a good first impression! I'm Ladybug, and they need to know that I appreciate them being here!"

"Marinette," Tikki said steadily, waving her arms out to gesture at her. "They already know Ladybug. I'm sure—"

"But not like this!" Marinette retorted, standing straight and raising a finger as she made her point. "I want them to feel welcome and like they can come to me for advice on fighting or keeping their identities a secret!" She hesitated, then dropped her gaze to the ground and added nervously, "I-I mean, I know I might not the best at those, but I can still try, right?"

Tikki moved immediately in front of Marinette's face, using her tiny paws to raise her chin up. Flying a small distance away, she assured, "You're a great Ladybug! I'm sure they'll appreciate you no matter what happens!"

Marinette smiled at that, at least feeling a little more mentally prepared to face the new heroes now. "Thanks, Tikki." She turned, facing the boxes of baked goods again and readying herself. She stepped towards them, paused, then scratched her cheek sheepishly as she asked, "But seriously though, do you think these will be enough?"

"Marinette!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going! Let's go!"

——-

Ladybug could feel Chat Noir following her only five minutes after she'd left the house, though was aware that it wouldn't exactly be hard to see her - despite the extra black she'd added to her bodysuit at the start of her blog - with all the boxes she was carrying. That was fine with her, as she'd needed him to be nearby anyway; they were still partners, after all.

As she landed on the rooftop she'd agreed to meet everyone at, she heard Chat Noir landing behind her. He announced his presence with an amused, "Setting up a picnic, m'lady?"

She raised a brow at him. "You could say that. The new heroes should be arriving in—" She pulled out her yoyo to check the time, realizing just how long she'd spent fretting over her first impression. "—uh, soon. Very, very soon."

At least she still got there first, she figured.

"New heroes?" Chat inquired, his flirtatious tone disappearing. "I didn't know they'd be here tonight."

"I messaged you before I left," she pointed out, purposefully leaving out the detail of the kwami group chat. She idly wondered if Plagg could be bribed into sending her flirty messages from Chat.

"I saw," he insisted with a bow, "which is why I hurried to you so you could tell me what it was about in person!"

She had no comment on that, too busy setting the boxes out and checking to make sure the baked goods hadn't been jostled on her way there. Chat Noir sat down next to her, helping himself to one of the sweets and not making any comment about the bakery logo on the box, probably as they'd saved said bakery quite a few times, so it wouldn't be weird to know it enough to buy from there.

The moment her yoyo confirmed that it was time for the other heroes to show up, Ladybug heard the sound of someone landing on the rooftop. She glanced up, seeing the bee hero standing there with an air of professionalism hovering around her.

"Ladybug. Chat Noir," she greeted formally, giving them each a nod.

Ladybug stood up with a start when she realized that she was still sitting near the boxes. "Hello!" She walked over, extending a hand out to her. "Glad you could make it."

The bee hero gave her a nod, accepting the offer for a handshake. "Of course. This is my job after all. It would have reflected poorly on me if I hadn't shown up on time."

Ladybug beamed. She was far different from the "original" bee hero, but that wasn't a bad thing, and she was looking forward to seeing what it'd be like to have another serious person on the team.

The turtle hero then landed nearby, though Chat Noir was too preoccupied with approaching the bee heroine, even taking her hand in his despite her flat expression. She tried to shake his hand like she did with Ladybug, only to realize that apparently wasn't his intent.

"I guess we'll beekeeping you on the team for a while now?" Chat asked. "It'll be a pleasure working with you."

He bent down, placing a kiss on the back of her hand. She pulled away from it, raising a brow at him while Chat stilled and looked confused.

"Uh—" the turtle hero cut in, finally earning Chat's attention. Ladybug watched as the turtle hero seem to fidget in place before pointing at the hand kiss display that had just occurred. Tentatively, he asked, "He's not going to do that with everyone, right? I'm—I'm dating someone."

Chat's face turned red with embarrassment, his body immediately recoiling from the bee heroine. Ladybug covered her mouth with both hands in an attempt to hide her chuckle, though it was difficult.

She waited until she was calm to approach the turtle hero, offering her hand for her second handshake of the day. "Glad you could make it."

He smiled, happily shaking her hand with a simple reply of, "Thanks." Then, glancing over her head, he asked, "Are you a new hero too?"

She presumed he was talking to the bee until she turned around, jumping in surprise as she noticed the fox hero standing nearby. She hadn't even heard him land, but supposed it made sense for a fox.

"Hey," he greeted casually. "Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt when you were talking to everyone else."

"O-oh, it's okay!" she assured, hoping it wasn't too embarrassing that she'd been caught off guard. She approached, sharing her last handshake with him. "And now that everyone's here, we can get introductions out of the way! You're...?"

"Cadmeancio," he replied with a calm smile. "I hope I'll be able to help you, Ladybug."

She smiled back, then glanced to the turtle hero. "And you?"

He stood proud, both arms up like he was flexing despite his sheepish expression. "Heavy Matal."

Ladybug turned to the bee heroine, who understandably predicted the question and answered before she could get it out, "Fukiya."

"Alright, so Fukiya—" Ladybug pointed at her, then the other two heroes as she continued, "—Heavy Matal, and Cadmeancio."

The three nodded at her. She couldn't help feeling a tinge of excitement; she had new team members now, and they were permanent holders that she wouldn't have to go out of her way to give miraculouses to.

Sitting down on the rooftop, she gestured to all of the boxes and exclaimed, "I brought these, so help yourselves! I can give you the rundown while we eat."

Cadmeancio and Heavy Matal happily sat nearby, letting out a harmonious, "thank you," as they peered into the individual boxes to look for a treat. Fukiya was the only one who remained rigidly in place, hands resting at her sides even as she looked around at the assorted boxes.

"Fukiya?" Ladybug called, earning her attention. "Everything okay?"

"Ah—" Fukiya let out a neutral hum. "I'm not really... allowed to indulge in..."

Chat waved a croissant from his seat besides Ladybug. "You've got superhero status now! You don't have to worry about anyone else or what they'll—"

Ladybug cut him off by clearing her throat, facing Fukiya to clarify, "What Chat means is... obviously we have to maintain our secret identities, but you can still be yourself around us, and you don't have to worry about anything you've been forced to do or not do when you're not transformed."

She offered what she hoped was a welcoming smile. She was worried at first, given how Fukiya looked at her like they were in a staring contest, but she relented quickly enough, sitting down and searching for the perfect treat amongst her options.

Ladybug breathed a sigh of relief, then slid herself back just enough that all of the new teammates were in view. Clapping her hands together to earn everyone's attention, she began, "I imagine your kwami filled you in on most of the details, but just to make sure everyone's on the same page..."

Cadmeancio and Heavy Matal shifted to face her, Fukiya already having been in the right position.

Ladybug continued, "With LadyBugOut in place and Hawk Moth seeing us as even more of a threat, you three are here to be new, permanent heroes to help cover any weak points we might have." She gestured vaguely at them. "That said, you don't have to show up to ever single battle; if you can show up, show up, but don't worry if you're in the middle of something. I want all of you to warm up to having miraculouses instead of being forced to get used to them right away."

"Isn't it serious?" Fukiya asked, arms crossed. "We should be prepared for anything."

"We have time," Ladybug assured confidently, "and forcing anything to happen won't get us the results we want." She would know. "So just... take it slow, okay?"

Fukiya looked like she wanted to argue, but closed her eyes and let out a breath, apparently thinking better of it.

"Should we come anyway if you need us?" Heavy Matal questioned with a tilt of his head, though his voice was hesitant as if he wasn't sure if he should suggest such a thing.

Ladybug, however, was happy for the question and gave him a grin. "Oh, if you can? Definitely, and as long as you're on the blog, you'll get notified of any akuma!"

He nodded his head, understanding the exception, then went back to munching on one of the sweets he'd picked up. Given that his and Fukiya's curiosity was satiated, Ladybug glanced at Cadmeancio, almost expecting him to have questions as well.

When he seemed more interested in the box the sweets were in, staring strangely fondly at the logo, she called out with interest, "Cadmeancio?"

He looked up at her, waving a hand dismissively. "Sorry. I've—" He paused, and she appreciated his attempt to choose his words carefully. "—I've been to this bakery a few times. It's really good."

"Oh." She eyed the box again, her gaze locking to the three little wrapped-up containers she'd placed in the middle of one box in particular. She perked up, internally thanking Cadmeancio for the transition. "That reminds me—well, sort of..."

She pulled each container out by the ribbon she'd wrapped around them, each with a distinct color that matched the new heroes. Once she had all three held against her chest, she began passing them out to each hero, each of them taking them with care and setting them on their lap.

"These—" Ladybug gestured at the boxes. "—are power-ups, and they—"

Suddenly, Chat choked off to the side, covering his mouth as he forced himself to swallow. Ladybug looked over at him blinked, concerned, but he was recovered quickly enough, standing up and taking her arm.

"Bugaboo, can we have an original-heroes-only meeting?" he asked quickly, though the nickname didn't make it sound any nicer.

"Uh, sure?" She let him take her as far away from the three heroes as possible, waiting until they were out of earshot to whisper, "What is it?"

"Those—" He still seemed stunned by something. "—those are the power-ups? They're getting them?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I don't see the—" She paused, remembering the day that they'd first gotten their powers. "—wait, you're not jealous, are you?"

"Why are they getting them right away?" he asked, completely evading the question. "Master Fu—"

Ladybug held a hand up to silence him. "They don't know about Master Fu, for the record, and it was Master Fu's idea to give it to them. I don't know, it's just..." She shrugged for lack of an answer. "He must trust them?"

"That—that doesn't make sense," he said. "Aren't you curious?"

"No," she replied bluntly. When Chat looked struck by it, she continued, "It's none of my business. I trust Master Fu and I trust who he chose."

"But—!"

"Besides, those power-ups aren't just about when we need them for fighting akuma." She hesitated, needing to take a breath before getting into any serious topics. "Chat, we can't do everything ourselves, and five is better than two in this case. Those power-ups could do a lot of good and we might not be around where they could be good. I've had a lot of close calls since I started helping outside of akuma, and stopping that helicopter from crashing into a building would've been a lot less stressful with the power of flight. We don't even know if another Frozer could show up again, and then the others would be out of luck. Then, there's the possibility of another Syren, or an akuma fleeing into the sewers, and we got Frozer and Syren the day we learned that Hawk Moth had the peacock working for him!"

"So you're worried about Hawk Moth striking back, but you still want them to take it easy?" Chat argued.

"Yes, because I want to give them the warm-up time that we never got. That led to a lot of mistakes, and I—" She stopped, noting that she wasn't comfortable divulging so much information to Chat about how her experience went. "...I just want time for the new teammates to ease into battle and get to know us naturally."

He looked put off by that. "Isn't our relationship natural?"

She forced her mouth shut for a few seconds, not wanting to say anything she'd regret. The fact that he was asking in the first place said a lot about their differences.

Then, finally, she sighed and gave a shrug. "Not completely, no."

He gaped.

"Chat, we got forced together by every single akuma that came our way. We didn't choose to work together, we just had to, and I don't want our new teammates to see us the same way! Superheroing is a job, but teamwork means that we have to care about each other as partners, and I want to ease into that."

She only just refrained from mentioning that her relationship with him had been strained for a while now because of the requirement of working together, knowing it would only cause more arguing. The fact that she and Chat had needed to work together from the beginning made everything go too fast, and she couldn't believe it took so long for her to realize it.

"...Look," she said before Chat could cut in, her voice lower at the realization that she might've been too loud earlier, "I know you were upset that I knew Master Fu when you didn't, but that wasn't my choice. He didn't want to tell anyone about his existence in the first place. We got blindsided by Mayura and we've almost lost our miraculouses multiple times, so it'd be nice to have more heroes who have the power to help if we need them—"

"We don't need anyone else," Chat insists, holding her hands in her. "Remember, m'lady? You and me against the world."

She didn't indulge him this time, pulling her hands away to raise them in defense. "I'm sorry, Chat. That's—that's not how it works. I don't want to be in a situation like that again."

"Where we have dozens of akuma against us, or where it's just down to you and me?" he challenged.

She took a breath, giving him a once-over as she gauged his body language. Shaking her head, she took a step back, not meeting his eyes as she replied, "Both."

She turned away before she could see any hint of his reaction. As far as she was concerned, the situation wasn't about her and Chat; it was about Paris and doing whatever they could to protect it.

She'd been initially apprehensive to return to the new heroes, fearing that the obvious hushed argument made her look bad, but her new teammates were simply waiting where they were before, their looks non-judgmental and the containers in their laps open to the contents, as if they'd all synchronized the motion while she'd been preoccupied.

She smiled, hope replacing nervousness as she went to sit down with them. She was tempted to eat a treat or too, but resisted, opting to pull out her yoyo so she could reach inside and retrieve her box of potion-infused macarons for the sake of instructing them on the powers.

Before she could, she felt a warmth near her shoulder and turned her head to see Cadmeancio, offering her a concerned look while his hand hovered over her shoulder. Though she wondered how obvious her feelings really were, she wordlessly gave him permission and he let his hand drop, giving her shoulder a small squeeze.

She felt good about this. This team could really work.

Chat Noir was thankfully too busy inhaling a slice of cake to notice the gesture. Ladybug didn't know if seeing such things made him antsy, but she preferred not to find out.

Focusing on the little box in her hands, she pulled out a green macaron and began, "Okay, so green is for water..."

#collab: LadyBugOut AU #canonicity: all #canonicity: canon #writing: all #writing: canon #writing: salt #writing: team miraculous #writing: ladybugout #salt: all #salt: chat noir #group: team miraculous #character: marinette dupain cheng #character: tikki #((In which Marinette overthinks literally everything.))#((Anyway Fu trusts Marinette very much.))#topic: potions

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bring-the-storm · 3 years

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Rated: T

Word Count: 1833

written for @mlcorefour appreciation week

After accidentally panicking and telling basically the whole world that she's dating a member of the hero team, Ladybug must someone to fake-date her, and fast. Of course Carapace suggests the obvious solution: she can just date his girlfriend for a few weeks. As the plan dissolves into chaos, the four learn what it means to be the heart of a team, while also getting into more shenanigans than humanly possible along the way.

---

��Why didn’t you tell me?”

Those were the first words to tumble from Chat Noir’s lips, his smile too overeager, too happy to be genuine.

“I didn't-”

“Girl, you have GOT to be kidding me,” Rena Rouge interrupted, whirling on her the second her feet touched the rooftop. “I thought we were friends!?! Who is it? Pegasus? Viperion?”

“I thought he was dating Ryuko,” Carapace jumped in.

“I’m not-” Ladybug opened her mouth to explain, only to be interrupted. She couldn’t really blame Alya (who only had fifteen Ladynoir pinterest boards and showed them off to anyone who so much as mentioned the superhero duo).

“Oh, right,” Rena Rouge nodded. “Otherwise she totally would’ve been my next guess.” The fox heroine turned to her desperately. “Please don’t tell me it’s Tigresse. I’ve been working on my Tigerella fanfic for months.”

“Guys, can you calm down for-”

“King Monkey, maybe?” Carapace guessed as Chat plopped down on the edge of the building, failing at not looking miserable. “He doesn’t really seem like he’s her type, but you never know.”

Rena Rogue cut her off again. “I swear, if it’s Vesperia and I didn’t see it coming…” The heroine buried her face in her hands. “Ladybug you better explain. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore!”

Instantly, three sets of eyes locked on her, begging for clarification. Ladybug took a deep breath.

“Guys, I’m not dating anyone.”

“But you said-” Rena protested.

“I know and I’m sorry!” she cried, trying not to look at Chat as her face heated. Not that it meant anything. Obviously. “The reporters kept asking all these questions and I just wanted to get out of there and it slipped out.”

It was hard to miss the flash of relief in Chat’s eyes.

“So, let me get this straight,” Carapace said, staring at her incredulously. “Your grand plan to get out of a stressful press conference was to tell everyone in Paris on live television that you’re dating someone on our team?”

It sounded a lot worse when he said it out loud.

“I panicked,” Ladybug admitted with a wince.

Carapace breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, at least you can just admit that and everything will go back to normal.”

Rena Rouge and Chat Noir glanced at each other knowingly and almost simultaneously burst into giggles, as if he had said something hilarious.

“That doesn’t sound like a good sign,” Ladybug swung her yo-yo in an anxious circle.

“Trust me when I say it will not work out like that,” Chat Noir smirked somewhat bitterly in the light of the setting sun.

Rena waved her hand across the sky as if she could already read the headlines written on the clouds. “Shocking Reveal - Ladybug Tells All.”

“I could just tell them the truth,” she tried to protest.

“Heroes Attempt to Cover up the Truth,” Alya finished, stopping the yo-yo’s frantic circle with her flute.

Ladybug groaned, wanting to kick something, preferably Hawkmoth’s stupid face.

“And of course it's right around the anniversary,” Chat Noir reminded her.

“Uh, no it’s not,” Carapace glanced at her partner like he was crazy.

And he kinda was. She distinctly remembered a picnic with a certain kitty on the rooftops near where she ‘fell from heaven’ as they watched a parade of small children stream by, wearing Stoneheart cosplay only a few months ago.

“Not that anniversary,” Chat Noir deflated a little. “I was talking about Oblivio.”

Her brain screeched to a halt.

“This just keeps getting better and better,” she groaned.

Carapace and Rena exchanged a glance. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“After a certain Ladyblogger posted a photo of me and Chat,” she locked her gaze on Rena, relishing the moment a little too much. “Some of the fans seem to have gotten it into their heads that Kitty and I are destined to get together on that day.

“Generally involving a week full of frustrated Ladynoir-shipping akumas,” Chat jumped in. “And one exhausted and pointedly not together bug and cat.”

Ladybug giggled. “Okay, you have to admit, some of them are kinda funny.”

The cat hero snorted. “I wouldn’t call Aphrodite funny.”

“What about the fanfic style one?” she nudged his knee playfully, trying to see if banter would help cheer him up. “You have to admit, throwing mugs at the akuma during the coffee shop AU was the best.”

A hint of a real smirk flickered across her partner’s lips.

“You called me sweet when you dumped all that sugar in my hair,” she reminded him.

“It was an accident!” he protested with a grin.

“Yeah, right,” Ladybug crossed her arms. “You were supposed to throw it at him. You totally did it on purpose!”

Chat clutched his chest, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. “I can’t believe you would have such little faith in me, m’lady!!”

Both of them somehow missed the knowing glance their best friends shot each other.

All their weapons buzzed simultaneously, doubtlessly with an update from the news. Chat Noir flicked open his baton and sighed, showing the headline to the rest of them.

“Which of Our Heroes is Ladybug’s Boyfriend?”

Her partner scrolled through the article, grumbling under his breath.

Carapace raised his eyebrows under his hood. “Bold of them to assume you don't have a girlfriend.”

“I wish I could say that it’s bold of them to assume I’m dating anyone at all,” she sighed. “But I kinda started this so I guess I can’t blame them.”

“THAT’S IT!” Rena Rouge leapt to her feet, nearly knocking her boyfriend’s shell over the edge of the roof.

“What?” Ladybug glanced at her comrades to check if they had the slightest idea of what was going on.

“You told the press that you’re dating one of us on the hero team, right?” the fox heroine asked excitedly.

“Yes?” Ladybug answered hesitantly. “You were there too.”

“Not the point,” her friend waved the comment off. “The only solution that doesn’t end in even more akuma attacks is fairly obvious.”

The other three glanced at each other to see if they had gotten it.

“COME ON GUYS,” Alya sighed. “Ladybug just has to pretend to be dating one of us for a few weeks. Think about it. They go out on a few dates, cue general excitement from Paris about the first official hero couple, tragically break up after a few weeks and everything goes back to normal.”

Ladybug shrugged. “I guess it could work.”

“Why does this sound way too similar to the basic plot for any fake dating fanfic?” Chat Noir hissed in the nearby turtle hero’s ear.

Or hood by where his ear should be.

“Probably because that's exactly what it is,” Carapace whispered back.

Rena smirked.

“And I happy to know of an available cat who would be happy to take-”

Her triumphant Ladynoir wingwoman grin fell from her face as the duo shook their heads in unison.

“Bad idea,” Chat Noir admitted. “I don’t want to think about the worldwide catastrophe that could occur after out ‘breakup.’”

“It would be like last Valentine’s day, but infinitely worse,” Ladybug jumped in, wincing at the memory of yet another love akuma that nearly burned Paris to the ground in its mission to make its OTP kiss.

Not that kissing Chat was such a bad thing. He was kinda good-

She cut off that mental track before it could get anywhere.

“Well, who else are you going to fake-date?” Alya asked. “I mean, I would totally be up for the job, but…”

She gestured at her boyfriend.

Carapace’s silence spoke for itself.

“Uh, babe?” Rena nudged him with her boot.

“Yeah?” he said with a grin.

“You can’t actually be considering this.”

“Why not?” he shrugged. “It’s not like anyone in Paris will know any better.”

“Hawkmoth could target me!” Alya pointed out. “He knows where I live!”

Carapace shrugged. “I mean, he could do that anyway.”

“Still, this could…” her voice trailed off. “Uh- why you aren’t fighting me on this.”

The turtle hero shrugged. “I guess I don’t see a problem with it, dudette. As long as both you and Ladybug are cool with it, then I’m not going to stop you.”

“You’re supposed to be my voice of reason!” Rena Rouge stared at him like he had just admitted to secretly being Chloé’s BFF. “Are you secretly a sentimonster or something?”

Nino raised his hands innocently. “I’m just trying to be a supportive boyfriend and help you reach your dreams.”

“By handing me off to the first bug who wants to date me?”

Carapace fell back dramatically. “Babe, did you see Ladybug today,” he cried in an impression of his girlfriend's voice. “The way she stuck that landing and then she winked at me and I swear I died. No offense babe, but if Ladybug ever asked me out, I would break up with you in an instant.”

Rena turned bright red.

Ladybug giggled. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You’re cool with this?” Rena spun on her.

“I mean, if Carapace is,” she smirked. “Sounds like it's the closest to a realistic relationship I’m going to get.”

Rena Rouge buried her head in her hands. “Hold on. I need to go scream on a rooftop.”

“Take all the time you need, babe,” Carapace called after her.

Ladybug smirked, grabbing her hand and kissing it like Chat would sometimes do for her (which totally didn’t leave her in a stuttering mess afterwards. Obviously.). “Yeah, babe. Take all the time you need.”

Rena Rouge turned red and fled.

“Whoops,” Ladybug turned back to Carapace with a sheepish grin on her face. “Too much?”

“Just because you’re fake dating my girlfriend doesn’t mean you can steal her,” Carapace nodded. “Don’t worry. She’ll be back in a few minutes and fully on board with this.”

“I should go and talk to her,” Ladybug said as she bit her lip nervously. She waved to Chat in a TOTALLY NORMAL WAY as she leapt over the rooftops.

***

The ribbons on her pigtails fluttered in the evening wind as Chat Noir watched her vault over the rooftop after her possible future fake-girlfriend.

Carapace whistled. “Dude, you’ve got it bad.”

Adrien’s face heated as he punched the turtle hero's arm. “Shut up.”

“Have you considered telling her that, you know, you still love her?”

Chat Noir laughed bitterly. “And watch her heart rip in half as she tells me yet again that we could never be more than friends? No thanks.” He glanced away. “I’d rather give up my miraculous.”

The sounds of the city that echoed off the rooftops awkwardly filled the void between them.

Finally, Chat Noir asked. “So, wait, are we actually doing this?”

Carapace nodded. “We’re superheroes. It’s our duty to protect Paris. If the only way for us to do that is for my girlfriend to pretend-date yours, then it’s a sacrifice we have to make.”

#mlcore4 #miraculous #miraculous fanfic #chat noir #rena rouge #Ladybug #carapace #*waves nervously* hi how are you guys doing

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melatovnik · 3 years

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ok ur top faves wangxian fics go

hey yati! 🥰️

alright, so first things first, here’s a big wangxian fic rec list i made a while ago, if you wanna check that one out too! consider the list below part 2. these are all my faves so far since my last rec list (as you'll quickly see, i have a LOT of faves).

and just a fyi/psa/disclaimer for anyone reading this: some of these fics have disturbing themes and/or kinky/freaky sex! make sure to check the authors’ tags and notes before reading. also, much like my first rec list, there’s going to be a mix of mdzs and cql canon, characterizations, dynamics, etc., so bear that in mind.

....ok GO

live from new york by varnes | rated E | 87K words | THE snl au fic!!!! yes, by snl i mean saturday night live. this is perhaps the best and funniest story i've ever read, period. varnes is a fucking genius. read this fic.

Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

“You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

“Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

swiss cheese theory by varnes | rated M | 19K words | sequel to snl au fic!!!!!! another must-read.

The Swiss Cheese model of accident causation likens human system defences to a series of slices of randomly-holed Swiss Cheese arranged vertically and parallel to each other with gaps in-between each slice. Defences against failure are modelled as a series of barriers, represented as slices of the cheese. The holes in the cheese slices represent individual weaknesses in individual parts of the system. The system as a whole produces failures when holes in all of the slices momentarily align, permitting "a trajectory of accident opportunity," so that a hazard passes through holes in all of the defences, leading to an accident.

OR: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to the courthouse.

OR: “Sweethearts,” the city clerk had said, very gently, “you’re already married.”

best friends forever by varnes | rated T | 17K words | alright, so like, strictly speaking, wangxian isn't the focus of this fic, BUT. this fic is so good!! it is seriously so good, and it made me fall in love with jin ling/lan jingyi. also, it's varnes, so read it!

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion.

Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married.

OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged.

Things spiral from there.

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm | rated E | 171K words

The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank.

Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

love, in fire and blood by cicer | rated E | 360K words | i actually haven't finished this one since i was reading it when it was a WIP, i need to reread it and catch up fjdskl;fjsd, but i love it very much!!!!!! oh my god he wanted to look nice for his husband..... 🙃 [screams with mouth closed]

"You want Wen Ruohan dead," the Patriarch continued idly. "You want his corpse puppets eliminated. You want his halls burned to the ground and his soldiers disemboweled and begging for mercy. Have I about covered it?"

He gave another knife-edged smile.

"But what will you give me in return?"

"We would be willing to offer quite a bit in return for Wen Ruohan's defeat," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I'm afraid we don't know what an immortal such as yourself desires. Please advise us."

The Patriarch waved at hand at the front of the tent. "I want Second Young Master Lan."

(In which the Sunshot Campaign ends through an arranged marriage to the Yiling Patriarch, and Lan Wangji suffers the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband.)

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn & Yuisaki | rated T | 55K words

A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.

Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.

there’s no promised goodbye here by Yuisaki | rated T | 54K words

Jiang Cheng stares at him. “Didn’t you say you broke up five months ago?”

“Yeah.”

“So why do you have a picture of you two kissing taped to your fridge?”

“Because we’re too broke for magnets,” Wei Wuxian explains, then considers that statement. “Well, I’m too broke for magnets. Lan Zhan probably refuses to buy them because he’s trying to have lofty ideas about the moral failings of materialism.”

Wei Wuxian navigates the trials of living with his ex-boyfriend in apartment 1301.

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 | rated E | 54K words

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

a paper friend by sunzu | rated G | 5K words

Lan Wangji finds a paperman far from its body and helps get it home.

-Or-

Lan Wangji unknowingly meets Wei Wuxian for the first time.

All Caught Up by brooklinegirl | rated E | 37K words

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly.

Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf.

"And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says.

"I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly.

"But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts.

"I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

Lead Me On Through by mrsronweasley | rated E | 55K words | oh look another canon-era practice kissing fic fjdskfl;ds

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

I Started From the Bottom/And Now I'm Rich by x_los | rated E | 58K words | ok so i know that in my spiel above i said to mind the tags, etc., but actually pay no mind to the first two relationship tags for this fic. i PROMISE that this isn't that sort of dead dove fic fjdksl;fjs;lifkj. i. it. it's wangxian. don't sweat it. don't even trip. just—this fic fucking rules. it's completely insane and it slaps. wei ying is a girlboss and a bitch and i like her So Much

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los | rated M | 14K words

In the month between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leaving Yi City and their attending the cultivation conference in Lanling, Wei Wuxian discovers a locked room in the Jingshi. It is a mystery that clever and curious Wei Wuxian is doing everything in his power to avoid solving.

But the rose was awake all night for your sake/Knowing your promise to me by x_los | rated E | 8K words | resentment tenties~

The resentful energy occupying Wei Wuxian's body like an enemy army is very interested in giving him Lan Wangji, tied up with a bow.

Wei Wuxian is hoping that Lan Wangji (who is far too noble and very keen to save Wei Wuxian's misguided soul) doesn't find out about any aspect of that.

Mo Money, Mo Problems by x_los | rated M | 3K words

After the Mo family perishes in distressing and mysterious circumstances, Wei Wuxian, still reeling from his reincarnation, tries to dip back into their manor for a little travelling money. (Forward planning! What a concept!) Lan Wangji catches him immediately, and is highly unimpressed (read: furious) with Wei Wuxian’s decision to run away from him in the first place.

Standing Engagement by x_los | rated M | 18K words

Lan Wangji believes he and Wei Wuxian are essentially engaged. While they search for his missing betrothed, he accidentally reveals as much to Jiang Wanyin. Now everyone in the cultivation world knows about the imminent marriage, except for Wei Wuxian himself.

Coming Back to Yourself by acernor | rated E | 22K words | genital swapping for fun and nonprofit!

Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do.

If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...

Save a Sword by etymologyplayground | rated E | 5K words | a fic inspired by the above fic!

Lan WangJi presses a kiss into his throat, which draws a shivering whine from him. "Like this," he agrees, his voice so low. Then he slides one warm elegant hand down Wei WuXian's chest to his belly, and then to his — to his —

fan ending for acernor's fabulous masterpiece "coming back to yourself" because i'm a huge goofball and that fic fucks

Our Eyes on the Road by etymologyplayground | rated E | 23K words | brought to you by lore (the author) and Orville Peck's hit song Drive Me, Crazy

Lan Zhan is silent for a long moment, and the van's speakers quietly pipe the second song on the album into the empty space between them. Then Lan Zhan shifts his hand a little on Wei Ying's leg, presses his fingers once into the meat of his thigh. "Alright," he says.

"Alright," Wei Ying echoes in a wheeze.

"Is that better?" Lan Zhan checks, because he is a good boy. Then he spreads his fingers out a little wider, because he is evil and must be stopped.

Lan Zhan is driving to Chicago. Wei Ying tags along.

Worship you till morning comes by feyburner | rated E | 7K words

A meet-cute, a first date, a sleepover.

Let's take a ride round the curves of desire by feyburner | rated E | 6K words | yeah........... uhh, yeah.

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart | rated E | 105K words | a beautifully crafted, emotionally harrowing fic. i should warn you (since it's not quite tagged as such) that while wangxian is endgame, the overall story doesn't have the sort of happily-ever-after ending you might expect. i’ve seen it described as open-ended but hopeful and cathartic, which i find to be a pretty accurate assessment

Sometimes Lan Zhan doesn’t work through lunch. Sometimes he makes conversation with coworkers in the halls. Sometimes he goes home instead of spending the last hour trawling through Grindr. But mostly, that’s exactly what he does. The sameness is comforting. His life spools out in easily measured increments: capsule collections, yards of hand dyed textiles, ninety day lead times, sell through figures, cost of goods sold.

Every date in manufacturing can be calculated backwards and forward from a single horizon point: the date that the goods must arrive into the country where they'll be sold. Other than that, nothing else really matters.

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie | rated E | 76K words | i can't recall a fic ever affecting me as much as this one did. one of the best stories i've ever read. so, so, so crushingly beautiful. it's viscerally distressing/upsetting at times, especially at the start, so please heed the tags and author's note (they provide a way to skip the beginning scene if needed)!

That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Wei Ying feels nothing. He doesn’t feel anything, and this emptiness should scare him. He knows he should be scared. He wants to be scared. He isn’t. Fear itself is never scary; fear is just a response. It means that your body wants you alive. It’s the absence of terror that scares him.

请兔子吃晚饭; treating a bunny to dinner by yiqie | rated T | 3K words | read this one to recover from the above fic

It’s not really about the food. Being able to share it in the same space is its own kind of magic.

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie | rated E | 69K words | and then read this one to feel harrowed again, this time in canon-verse!

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable by yiqie | rated M | 7K words | read this one to recover from the above fic (this time in canon-verse)

“You don’t know? In Yiling, there’s a tree at the edge of town, one that stands at the fringes of where the city ends and the Burial Mounds begin, called the Lover’s Tree. They say if you write a letter and nail it to its branches, Yiling Laozu will receive it, and he’ll reply.”

你的阳光下; wanna hide in your light by yiqie | rated T | 2K words | :')

Lan Zhan shuts off the water before it can start getting cold, because Wei Ying still needs to take one. Any other day, Wei Ying would have slunk in, pretending to be annoyed that Lan Zhan started without him, and neither of them would have want for hot water, but Wei Ying is still asleep.

From my heart's ground. by orange_crushed | rated E | 38K words | get (orange) CRUSHED!!!!!!!

After a while he can feel a palm against his face, gentle fingers soft and soothing. It’s not real, not exactly: he can tell the difference between a ghost’s touch and a living person’s, between a spirit-vision and an overactive imagination. His education has been thorough. But the beating has also been thorough, so for now he forgets what he knows and leans into it, into the hand cupping his cheek. It’s soft and dry as those forgotten petals, as the touch of a pillow. He can smell wildflowers, can taste blood and dirt. My baby, his mother says, and he closes his eyes. My treasure. He barely remembers the sound of her voice, but the feeling of it is just the same. Just the same as ever.

[In which Lan Wangji loses almost everything, plants a garden, and grows a second chance.]

Pentimento. by orange_crushed | rated E | 73K words | this fic briefly gave me a serious case of career envy :/ ......but seriously, this is an absolute must-read!!!

When Wangji was eighteen he’d walked into the first class of his fall semester painting module and there’d been a boy in a hilariously ugly floppy knit hat sitting cross-legged on the floor at the front of the room. He’d had a sheet of canvas paper taped to his board and his board clamped between his legs and a tackle box of brushes and tubes—a real fishing tackle box, with a fish-shaped logo on it that said BASS, not one of the nice art supply storage boxes they sold in the campus bookstore, like the one Wangji was carrying—open beside him. Everyone else had settled into the rows of stools and easels, but that boy had stayed on the floor for the whole two hour and thirty minute studio. Wangji had looked at him and thought, that idiot’s back is going to hurt.

[Former best friends Lan Wangji, paintings conservator, and Wei Wuxian, art handler, meet again and realize... neither of them were actually in unrequited love.]

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed | rated E | 25K words

His fingers are still clasped between Wangji's. In the mirror Wangji watches him tuck his coat between his thighs so that he can fuss with the tucked-in hem of his shirt, tousle up the side of his hair, all one-handed. "I hope what I'm wearing is okay."

"It's good," Wangji says. "You look good."

"I guess I must," Wei Ying says, and then he smiles and bites his teeth into his bottom lip for a second, devastatingly, and before Wangji can drop dead the doors to the elevator slide open, and the hostess station appears.

[In which lonely businessman Lan Wangji meets the right wrong person and changes the course of his life.]

The dreamers. by orange_crushed | rated E | 17K words

“Stop mothering me,” Wei Ying protests. “Why don’t you ever listen?” He scowls at Wangji, but then the lure of the clean water is too much; he sits grumbling and strips off his vambraces and loosens the collar of his robes and wipes himself down in the steam. Wangji sits on a stool and watches him, and after a while Wei Ying slaps the rag into the bowl and glares back. “Are you going to sit and stare the whole time?” he demands. “You want to see me strip naked and give my filthy evil self a good scrubbing, huh?”

Yes, Wangji thinks.

[This is a story about a horrible war and a beautiful dream; about grabbing happiness where you can find it, and not letting go.]

mercy, tear it down. by orange_crushed | rated E | 31K words

“You want me to call you good?” Wangji says. “To make you feel good?” Wei Ying makes a wretched, soft, surprised sound in the back of his throat. “Then will you be good?”

“Uh,” Wei Ying says. His lashes flick down again, nervously. “Good how?”

Wangji hasn’t quite thought that far ahead.

Kingfisher Feathers by Anonymous | rated E | 83K words | WIP (7/10 chapters, last updated 4/13/21) | omg omegaverse!!!! @/ this anon author... keep up the great work! also i have feelings for u

With an almost trance-like detachment, Wei Wuxian touched his own neck, his fingers skimming over the fresh mark. The bite wound had stopped bleeding, although he had no doubts it would open again if agitated.

Bonded.

He was bonded for life.

"Shit," he whispered. He looked over at the sleeping form of Lan Wangji—the Second Prince of Gusu and, until his brother was found, the sole heir to the throne. "Oh, shit. Lan Qiren is going to kill me."

----------

Lan Wangji goes into a fevered rut and accidentally bonds with Wei Wuxian. When they next meet, he remembers none of it, and Wei Wuxian is determined to keep the bond a secret—even when he's sent to the Cloud Recesses to be a consort in Lan Wangji's harem.

(tl;dr concubine!wwx is already married to emperor!lwj, who has no idea. drama ensues.)

Pull out game weak by 74243 | rated E | 23K words | featuring the hottest meanest dom top lesbian lwj of your wildest dreams. i hope ao3 user 74243 is having an amazing day

Wei Ying swipes right.

Extra Time by Anonymous | rated E | 28K words | fic inspired by the above fic! seriously good

How Wei Ying learned to stop worrying and love the strap (an AU of 74243's Pull out game weak)

Superfan by 74243 | rated E | 19K words | ao3 user 74243 writing banger after banger as per usual

“I’m not going to apologize for my job,” Wei Ying said, “so if you want to give me some kind of lecture--”

“No,” Lan Zhan said. “You misunderstood. I am...” she paused, as if considering the best way to put it. “I’m a fan.”

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes by 74243 | rated E | 7K works | i'm just going to list all of ao3 user 74243's fics, ok? that's what's gonna happen here

Wei Wuxian was a little surprised herself, although she felt bad for being surprised. Of course it didn’t really mean anything about you, how you presented, Wei Wuxian knew that better than anyone, but all the same it was hard to reconcile Lan Zhan as an omega.

(wwx makes an error of judgment)

If the shoe fits by 74243 | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying loses a bet.

the And they were roommates series by 74243 | rated E | 19K words total

That was the other thing, when Wei Ying had moved in. She’d scented Lan Zhan immediately, the sandalwood and smoke rising off her, almost before she’d taken in Lan Zhan’s straight posture, her narrowed eyes. She’d known that Lan Zhan could tell, too. At the end, when they’d talked about the rent and Lan Zhan’s nearly finished PhD and Wei Ying’s working hours, Wei Ying had said, casual and effortless, “And you don’t mind that I’m an omega.”

“No,” Lan Zhan said.

Chef's kiss by 74243 | rated E | 7K words

Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.”

“There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.”

(Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

Gold-palmed Warrior Quest! by 74243 | rated E | 13K words

When Lan Wangji suggested that they camp along the way to the Unclean Realm, rather than staying at inns, Wei Wuxian had been sceptical.

Dway! by 74243 | rated E | 6K words

“Hm,” Wei Ying said. “You like it rough, though, right? You seem like that kind of alpha.” When she saw Lan Zhan’s expression she raised an eyebrow. “What? Was I wrong? Are you tender and sweet? Do you cry?”

“You were not wrong,” Lan Zhan said. “I do not cry. Do you?”

tgif by 74243 | rated E | 17K words

Today Lan Zhan says that if Wei Ying cannot control her mouth then she will have to tape it shut.

On the ground by 74243 | rated E | 5K words

“I think you will like it,” Lan Zhan said.

Does your mother know by 74243 | rated E | 5K words | editing this rec list on a monday morning to add this brand new fic fresh off the presses. thank u ao3 user 74243 for feeding us so well 🙏

“Lan Zhan is such a well-behaved girl,” Madam Yu said.

all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones | rated E | 77K words | of my faves, this is one of my favorite... faves. top faves. incredibly fun and silly and hot. just... oh my GOD, wei YING!

“I know! Why don’t you try it? Let me go and I’ll lend it to you!” Wei Wuxian bribed hysterically, desperate to escape from this encounter by any means necessary. And then, his eyes blew wide, realizing what he just said. ‘Wait— just what am I offering Lan Zhan?!’ he thought. How was he so stupid, how did he just offer that without thinking—

“You want me...to use it… after you?” Lan Zhan asked, his voice unusually faint.

~*~

Wei Wuxian's test of mysterious, literally magical sex toy goes awry when Lan Wangji finds him in the woods 'experimenting' with it and it ends up in Lan Wangji's possession.

Unfortunately, neither of them is aware that the toy is anchored to Wei Wuxian's body. Too bad Wei Wuxian invited him to try it.

Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a really good fic

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

none in the forest so bright as these by saltyfeathers | rated E | 6K words

Wei Wuxian puts a hand to his head, brain lost in fog. “Lan Zhan,” he pants. “Why are we here? Are we on a hunt?”

As Lan Zhan tries to remember, his brow furrows. He shakes his head slightly. “I don’t know.”

“This is bad,” Wei Wuxian says. When Lan Zhan cups his cheek again, sparks burst behind Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “Or maybe it’s not,” he says unthinkingly. Sighs, almost. Lan Zhan looks at his own arm like it's betrayed him. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and presses his face into Lan Zhan’s palm. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he murmurs. “What’s happening to us?”

out in the garden, there’s things you hid away by saltyfeathers | rated E | 121K words | oww oww oww 😣😣😣💘

There is a man with empty eye sockets and tears of fire in Wei Wuxian’s dreams. Tendrils of smoke curl around him in sleep, pressing at his most vulnerable spots, seeking entrance, slipping between his ribs.

When he ignores Lan Zhan's offers of help, he declines rapidly. He will die. Or, he should. Anyone else would.

Instead, he flees. And transforms.

crawling through your door by saltyfeathers | rated E | 12K words

Lan Wangji kisses him. When he pulls away, he speaks into the silence between them, because when he is with Wei Ying, he so rarely considers. “Why don’t you touch me anymore?”

Lan Zhan Works for the Historical Society by saltyfeathers | rated E | 7K words | some real real good lesbian action up in here

Pretty Lan Zhan. Beautiful Lan Zhan. Ice queen Lan Zhan. So intimidating and femme and coldly polite in public, yet meaner than a man in the bedroom. Wei Ying has slept with men before and none of them were mean-nice to her like Lan Zhan.

threadfic by saltyfeathers | not rated (each chapter rated/tagged individually) | 34K+ words | WIP (11/? chapters, last updated 3/15/21), but it’s a collection of stand-alone oneshots

semi cleaned-up wangxian twitter threadfic.

【已經打動我的心】So Sing To Me All Night by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | arrow writes wei ying so exquisitely well. i was weepy the whole time read this fic. for the best experience, i recommend following along with the accompanying spotify playlist.

No one listens to the radio in this day and age, but somehow from a bunch of left clicking and right clicking, through Facebook and Twitter and Youtube, Wei Ying finds himself on the WQHS homepage—the UPenn student radio station, promising eclectic tastes from a variety of hosts. Wei Ying can't remember giving a shit about his old college's student radio before he dropped out, but it's eleven at night and he has nothing else better to do. He clicks on the button that says Listen Here! and waits to be impressed.

get wild by aroceu | rated E | 24K words | 🔥🏀🔥 BASKETBALL FIC 🔥🏀🔥

He was looking for a specific reaction—to get Lan Zhan to lash out. All hard edges and demanding, the same way during the first scrim, Lan Zhan's dark voice had made him loose and obedient, itching to both rebel and obey at the same time.

It's them, whatever it is, but it doesn't belong on the basketball court.

Wei Ying didn't expect to enter a weird... something-with-benefits-plus-power-play with the captain of the Gusu basketball team. He's not sure if it's worth it.

without a warning by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | 🥺️🥺️🥺️

“Blegh,” Wei Ying says. “I hate being sick, Lan Zhan… my throat is so sore… why do I talk so much?”

“Stop talking then,” Lan Zhan says.

“You don’t mean that,” Wei Ying says, in his half-asleep daze. “I know you’ll never admit it, Lan Zhan, but you like it when I talk.”

your honor i’m a freak bitch by aroceu | rated E | 6K words

Wei Ying gestures to his outfit. His hands are buried deep within the hoodie; he’s mostly gesturing with the sleeves. “Well, it works with the whole get up, you see?”

“The…” Lan Zhan looks down at where his fingers are toying with the top of Wei Ying’s thigh highs. Wei Ying pretends he is not shivering. “…skirt. And these stockings.”

“Thigh highs, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says, batting at him with the end of a sleeve.

Play It By Ear by aroceu | rated T | 7K words | MY HEART !!!

In the virtual airplane flying over the island, appropriately called Yiling, Lan Zhan watches as bits and pieces of the island load in. There are many Statues of David, a gothic teacup ride, and, from what Lan Zhan can see, an entire field of spoiled turnips.

hanguang-jun @/hanguangjun Do you need turnips to sell?

timmy and tommy in a trenchcoat @/yilinglaozu oh! no haha! 😅 those are from a while ago but my brother insists i keep them there

for the ~aesthetic~

the key that our souls were singing by aroceu | rated M | 5K words

“I haven’t seen you since—Gusu, was it?” Wei Ying says. “Oh my god, it’s been so long. I didn’t even know you were LGBT! Unless you’re here as an ally, which is also totally cool—”

“No, I.” Lan Zhan coughs. Her throat feels dry. “I am a lesbian.”

abort retry fail by aroceu | rated E | 21K words

Lan Wangji must miss his husband over this amnesiac of a man Wei Wuxian has turned into. Well, Wei Wuxian will show him! He'll be even better—or at least, try to be just as good of a husband as he would be, without his memory loss.

Blackout If You Were Mine by aroceu | rated E | 9K words

Wei Ying likes to wear chokers a lot. So Lan Zhan buys some for him. Then, testing their limits, collars.

Wei Ying wears those, too.

Or, the one where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan accidentally stumble into a BDSM relationship.

eleven thousand meters & airborne by aroceu | rated E | 5K words | 😎✈️😎

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying join the mile high club.

many fox given by defractum | rated E | 24K words | can't go wrong with foxxian and dragonji content 🦊🐉

Lan Zhan is glaring at him. That's probably fair.

The last time they'd seen each other, Wei Ying had been digging through Lan Zhan's garbage. They'd made eye contact over the shredded bags, the week's trash scattered around him like stinky, oversized Lego.

Lan Zhan's eyes had been wide with horror, and Wei Ying's had been equally wide with feigned innocence. He'd reached out slowly, maintaining the eye contact, and then flipped over the food waste bin full of onion peel and carrot skin as a distraction and slunk off into the night. Probably not his finest moment.

Modern AU dragon!LWJ meets fox!WWX.

the tamed by defractum | rated E | 12K words

If the Second Jade of Lan insists on bringing the Yiling Patriarch as his guest to the next Cultivation Conference, he must first demonstrate a control over the Yiling Patriarch and his unnatural abilities.

The letter lies on their desk for days.

Post-canon, Wei Ying is invited, sort of, to a Discussion Conference.

us in a king-size, keep it a secret (say i'm your queen, i don't wanna leave this) by matcha_ado | rated E | 3K words

People always said Wei Ying was a royal pain in the ass. They were absolutely right, of course, just not in the way they thought.

it is wednesday my dudes by jelenedra | rated M | 4K words

Wednesday nights at Cloud Recesses strip club are always a little weird, but usually they're not this horny. Whatever Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get up to, Mianmian is not going to be the one to clean it up.

i'm the one for your fire by occultings | rated E | 43K words | cherry magic au! love it

Wei Ying, virgin and noted heterosexual, gets hit with a curse of an unusual nature on his 30th birthday — through physical contact, he can read the minds of others around him.

Enter Lan Zhan, hot former rival and current coworker, whose true thoughts about Wei Ying are nothing like he expects. (A loose Cherry Magic AU)

a thousand teeth, yours among them by darkredloveknot | rated E | 11K words

A one night stand in the time of zombies.

hoe to housewife pipeline by lanzhancore | rated E | 5K words

“You type fast,” Wei Ying murmurs, making a futile attempt at conversation while he waits for him to be done with… whatever. “Not to be pushy, but do you plan on fucking my ass anytime soon?”

or: wei ying has been thirsting after lan zhan for three slutty slutty years

can you feel it by lanzhancore | rated E | an instant classic

“What’s wrong?” Wei Ying asks finally, eyebrows drawn together. “Is everything okay?”

Thumbs stroking circles into his skin as if to comfort him, Lan Zhan says, “Don’t panic.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, sitting up on his elbows. “What did you do to my ass?”

“Nothing,” Lan Zhan says, convincing nobody. “But we need to go to the hospital.”

or: wei ying really should have sprung for the model with the flared base. he learns this lesson the hard way.

because you're mine (i walk the line) by lanzhancore | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying is freshly cream-pied and still trying to remember where his legs are when Lan Zhan outlaws masturbation.

or: wei ying fucks around and finds out

payload by lanzhancore | rated M | 3K words | babysitter wwx + dilfji, what more could you need

Wei Ying has a whole five hours and thirty-six minutes to calm down but when he hears Lan Zhan’s key turning in the front door lock later that evening he has to cling to the couch cushions to keep from marching into the laundry room to retrieve the briefs so he can wave them in Lan Zhan’s face and demand to know who owns them.

or: lan zhan's self-restraint is not limitless

the to the brim series by verseau | rated E | 14K words total

Wei Ying wants to rob him, but it wouldn’t even be satisfying, since this guy is just—giving away money. With his nice fingers. Maybe Wei Ying will just bite his fingers, and that will give the same endorphin rush as robbing him. / a day told across five parts.

get that message home by verseau | rated G | 2K words | ohhhhhhhhh myyyyy godddddd 😭

Sizhui's father cannot haggle. It is a shame on Sizhui’s honor to have such an honest father.

Author's note [i'm including it here because it's golden]:

there is a scene in arrested development where lucille, who is on the opposite spectrum of humanity as lan zhan, asks, "it's a banana, michael. how much could one cost? ten dollars?" there are no bananas in this story.

dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | a particular favorite of mine 🔥🍆💦🕳🔥

Wei Ying discovers himself.

trust your fingertips by plonk | not rated (but really rated E) | 15K word | 🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️ plonk you’ve done it again!

Lan Wangji must suppress a shiver at every brush and press of Wei Wuxian’s fingers.

Under different circumstances - less public ones - he would welcome touch, given that his body is in such an aroused state.

Alas, his circumstances are these: sitting quietly while Wei Wuxian, the famous (infamous) Doctor of Yunmeng, digs his fingertips into Lan Wangji’s shoulders and chest and sides and hums thoughtfully.

Doctor, Doctor by YunmengLotus | rated E | 4K words | mmmmhmm!

Wei Ying needs to get a prostate exam. How ever will he deal when the world's hottest doctor walks through the exam room door and tells him to bend over?

TAKOYAKI by ariskamalt | rated E | 3K words | lan zhan gets jealous of his own damn appendages. meanwhile, wei ying is just having a good time.

Lan Zhan…cannot always feel or tell what his tentacles will do.

His free hand curls into a fist. Underneath his skin, the tentacles give a little squirm, as if aware of the challenge he has just issued them. No touching Wei Ying unless he says so, because he wants to touch Wei Ying first. They squirm again, as if to say, Tentacles: 1, Lan Zhan: 0.

That will just have to be remedied.

Or, as phnelt first described: Tentacle-ji with the semi autonomous tentacles getting jealous of his tenties for touching Wei Ying in places he hasn't yet

Outage by SugarMilkTea | rated E | 3K words | [cough] 😳😳😳

The power goes out in Lan Zhan and Wei Ying's rural home in the countryside. Lan Zhan takes advantage of the darkness to give in to one of his baser urges, and Wei Ying's first rural power outage experience is about to get a lot more interesting.

big hands (i know you’re the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | NICE. 🔥🔥🔥

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 7K words

“Are you done playing around?”

Knowing that’s not what either of them actually wants, Wei Wuxian reaches up to tickle under Lan Wangji’s chin. Soft little scritches, coaxing motions—Lan Wangji is weak to all of them.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

(or: five times Lan Wangji paid special attention to Wei Wuxian’s interest in being his gege.)

put him on his knees, give him something to believe in by dustyloves | rated E | 2K words | if the title is quoting WAP, then you should know by now it’s gonna be some of that good filth

The next time Wei Ying kisses him, Lan Zhan is careful again. Wei Ying seems determined to make it very difficult.

the hard way by dustyloves | rated E | 9K words

"Anyway, you make it sound like something lewd is going on," Wei Ying complains. "It's all totally above board. She's just being a nice person. It's just one kind alpha grad student offering one room of her huge house to one beta undergrad in need, what could be more appropriate than that?"

// Wei Ying makes a mistake and finds out the hard way.

Exhibition by sevenless | rated E | 5K words

“Oh?” Wei Wuxian raises an eyebrow. “The forbidden section, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“You’re not afraid of being heard?” Wei Wuxian thinks aloud. A smirk creeps onto his face, eyes glinting. “Or could it be that Lan-er-gongzi actually wants to be heard? Seen? Caught?” He skips in front of him, blocking his way. "Disciplined?”

Lan Wangji’s ears, as always, betray him.

a history of the body by northofallmusic | rated E | 14K words

Wei Ying's body hurts sometimes; she lets Lan Zhan help her.

A fic about the complicated nature of having a body, and also the versatility of sex toys.

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering | rated E | 36K words

The reboot completes, and Wei Ying’s brain smashes this information together into two mind-shattering thoughts. Number one, he knew very well already, and is now further seared by defined muscles and a mouth-watering tattoo into his every waking moment: Lan Zhan is the hottest fucking person on the planet.

Number two: that guy wasn’t visiting Lan Zhan’s neighbour, he was visiting Lan Zhan, which means:

Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks.

;

Lan Zhan has been Wei Ying's best friend for years. Literally, years. How did he not already know? How has he missed this most important of facts? And more importantly, how is he ever going to get over it?

watching my heart go round by typefortydeductions | rated E | 38K+ words | WIP (2/4 chapters, last updated 5/2/21) | lan zhan i love you baby 💞

Lan Zhan falls apart. As it turns out, that's not the end.

oh man this list is so long sd;jfkdsjfhhh

yati, i hope you find some stuff in this pile here that you’ll enjoy! it's not an exhaustive list, so check out the authors’ other works and bookmarks for more goods, if you feel so inclined 😙💕

#darlingbenny #mdzs #fic rec #nsfw!

37 notes · View notes

kelyon · 3 years

Text

Golden Rings 23: A Hat

The Storybrooke sequel to Golden Cuffs

Jefferson tries to get help

Read on AO3

Inside a cramped little cottage in a cramped little town in the mountains of a flat planet that flies through space on the back of four elephants on top of a turtle, he is having dinner with his family.

Technically, they are Leo’s family, but technicalities have never troubled him. These people have welcomed him into their lives. This smoke-filled, boisterous cottage is more home to him than the solemn rock quarry where Jefferson spent the first few miserable decades of his life.

The meal is mostly over, but everyone lingers over pudding and conversation and beer. A few of his sisters-in-law have gathered up the dishes and are headed back to the kitchen for the washing up.

His daughter sits on his lap. She is almost too big for the gesture and maybe that’s why she wants it so much. It’s certainly why he lets her do it. How much longer will he have with his little girl? Even if they have escaped from the Queen’s curse, they cannot escape time. There will only be a few more years before Grace is more a woman than a baby. She’ll be as pretty as her mother, and just as smart, winding her way through the hearts of everyone who meets her.

But for now, his girl sits on his lap and listens to her family. Beside him, Leo squeezes his arm.

She leans into him. “No matter where we go, it’s never better than being home.”

He smiles at her, his wife, his life. Her face is ruddy from drink and smoke. Her blonde hair curls in the heat, teasing wisps escape from her bun. Her plump curves fill out her dress like bursting sausage. She has a shine of bacon grease around her mouth and a touch of beer foam on the tip of her nose. In all the lands in all the worlds, he has never seen anyone more beautiful.

Somewhere down the table, a baby cries. One of his many sisters-in-law is trying to soothe one of Grace’s many cousins, without much success. The infant has been fussing all night, and now the poor thing’s wails have drowned out the riotous conversation.

“‘Ere now!” Leona’s mother calls down from the head of the table. “Are you going to help that poor babby or do I ‘ave to?”

His sister-in-law--a washed out, nervous looking woman whose name no one can remember--looks gratefully up at Nanny Ogg. “Can you?”

Nanny Ogg snorts. This grande dame--which she translates as “big woman”--is the matriarch of the Ogg clan and the second-most powerful witch in the Ramptops Mountains, though she doesn’t try as hard. She’s had five husbands (and married three of them), fifteen children, and more grandchildren and great-grandchildren than anyone in Lancre can count.

The baby is passed from hand to hand down the table, squalling all the way. When it finally gets to the head of the table, it is placed into the very solid arms of a round old woman dressed in black. She has a pipe, a pint, and a black pointy hat. (There’s nothing magic about a pointy hat, except that it says that the person underneath it is a witch.) She also has lively dark eyes--like Leo’s, like Grace’s--and the widest grin most people have ever seen.

The current occupant of the old woman’s lap is a mangy ball of fur and claws named Greebo. Though known to pick fights with bears (and not lose), he’s nothing but an old softy to Nanny Ogg. Still, the cat is smart enough to know that he is always second place to any child. As soon as the baby is in the witch’s arms, he scampers out of the way.

Jefferson’s life would have been hell if Nanny Ogg hadn’t given him her approval to marry Leo. They would have married anyway--Leo wouldn’t have let anything stop them--but coming home like this would have been… difficult. There are a dozen tiny ways an Ogg can tell you they don’t like you--and a hundred large and painful ones. But Nanny Ogg’s welcoming nature--and Jefferson’s endless potential to bring her presents from far-off lands--had ensured that they were welcome any time.

Within a minute of entering Nanny Ogg’s embrace, the screaming baby quiets. Within another minute, it sleeps peacefully, despite the raucous conversation around the table.

Perched on his knees, Grace looks curious. “Was that magic, Gran?”

“Coo-ee, no, my duck!” Nanny Ogg chuckles. “The day I needs magic to calm a babe is the day you lot can put me in the ground!”

“But you did it so fast!” Grace persists.

“Coz I been doing it so long,” Nanny Ogg explains. “Ever since your Uncle Jason was a wee thing! There’s a knack to it, but it ain’t magic.”

Grace ponders this for a moment. Children are allowed to speak freely around Nanny Ogg’s table--provided they keep the conversation interesting. “Papa knows a man who does magic.”

Jefferson thinks about explaining, but clearly this is a private conversation.

Nanny Ogg nods sagely. “I imagine your dad knows all kinds of people, the work he does.”

“He was a funny little man,” Grace says. “He has a funny voice and he’s all green.”

“Takes all sorts, luv. We can’t help the way we’re made.”

“He gave me a yellow dress, to match Mama’s pink one. He pulled it out of the air! We were there for--why were we there, Papa?”

“A wedding,” Jefferson answers. “The Dark One and Belle wanted us to be there for their wedding.”

“It was a lovely day,” Leo smiles at him while stroking their daughter’s hair. “Do you remember dancing in that big ballroom, Grace? Remember how he made the instruments play themselves?”

Nanny Ogg snorts. “Sounds like a show-off, if you ask me.”

“Oh he is,” Jefferson agrees. “I don’t know if you’d like him, and Mistress Weatherwax would hate him.”

“Well, there’s not many I don’t like, and there’s not many Esme Weatherwax don’t hate, at least at first.”

They laugh at that, as they laugh at everything. The conversation moves on to other topics. Later the lot of them move away from the table and into the parlor. Around a fire and more beer, Nanny Ogg brings out her banjo, but the evening still manages to end happily.

He puts Grace to bed in a room with her cousins, a group of girls near her age. He kisses her and makes sure she has her stuffed rabbit. Then he goes up to the bedroom where Leo is waiting.

His wife is a dream, all satiny pink. All soft and warm and round. Like a sunset cloud with grasping arms. Like candy floss with a libido. She is everything. All the happiness he has now is because of her. This family, this life, their daughter. Everything in his past led to her, everything in the present comes from her, everything in the future will be theirs together.

They make love, full of food and clumsy with drink. Their lips are loose and sloppy. They giggle and try to stay quiet in this crowded house. Their hands know their bodies. They know how to pleasure each other. They know. They feel. They love. They delight in each other and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

When Jefferson wakes up, everything is gone.

****

For the ten thousand, three hundred ninetieth time, Jefferson woke up alone. In a giant, empty bed, inside a giant, empty house. He woke up, like he always did, with a gnawing ache in his chest and a burning desire for nothing more than to go back to sleep. Back to his dream. His best dreams were always about them. Leo. Grace. Home.

Sitting up in bed, Jefferson covered his face with his hands and let a dry sob rack through him. Tears would come later. First sob of the morning was always dry.

“Morning” was not the right word. It was a gray spring afternoon, more or less identical to every other gray afternoon he’d woken up in since he was brought over to this world. Over the years--over so many years--he had gotten in the habit of starting his day when most people in Storybrooke began to end theirs. The only reason he woke up at all was to get a chance to see his daughter walk home from school.

The telescope was in the office, what he tended to think of as the hat room. This side of the massive house faced Main Street. He could see quite a lot--the diner, the Sheriff’s Station, a few important houses. And he had learned quite a lot, just by looking at all these people living their lives.

Nothing changed in Storybrooke. Children didn’t get older. The old and sick never died. People worked the same jobs no matter how much they hated them. There was a girl he saw walking to and from the diner who had been nine months pregnant for twenty-eight years. Everyone was miserable, alone and unloved in one way or another, but they all carried on with what they thought were their lives.

Until the day a yellow bug drove into town.

Looking through the telescope, Jefferson trained his eyes on a lime green winter coat. The coat was bouncing over the shoulders of a young girl as she hopped, skipped and jumped her way around the sidewalk. His throat tightened, as it did every time he saw her. In the lens of the telescope, she looked close enough to reach out and touch.

Grace was walking with another girl--Jefferson didn’t know her name. She was poor, from Old Town. Her father was gone and her mother worked long hours for low pay. Girls like that didn’t get their accomplishments written up about in the newspaper the way Grace did every time she won the Science Fair. Until a few months ago, Grace had never spoken to this girl. Both of them had walked the same path from the school to the abandoned library, twenty feet apart, every day for twenty-eight years, without ever interacting with each other.

Until the day Sheriff Swan started a youth outreach campaign, and made a point to talk about how much safer kids were if they used the buddy system when they didn’t have an adult around.

Then Grace had looked up from her routine, and she had seen the other girl looking back. Both of them needed someone to walk with. Both of them were looking for a friend. Both of them found one. It was a little thing, but it was a change.

He watched them walk from the library to the house in New Town where Tim and Mia Lewis lived. The people Grace thought were her parents. Every once in a while, they ran an ad in the Storybrooke Daily Mirror--all three of them with big smiles, the adults offering their services in insurance and real estate.

The lights were off inside the house, so he couldn’t see into the kitchen. He couldn’t see what healthy snacks Mia had made for the girls today. He couldn’t see what game they played to unwind for a bit before Mia made sure they both started their homework. A few hours later, the other girl’s mother would stop by after her shift at Granny’s. He never knew if she thanked Mia for watching her daughter. Maybe it was just understood. Maybe Mia said she was just doing what Sheriff Swan advised, watching out for children who might otherwise get into trouble, being alone and unsupervised.

Once Grace was out of his sight, Jefferson moved the telescope to look around town. Not too many changes today. Archie Hopper was walking his dalmatian. Marco the handyman was making another trip to the hardware store. The stranger on the motorcycle idled outside Marine Automotive; he seemed to be watching Marco. Mrs. Gold was strutting away from the pawn shop with her head held high.

He watched her, this woman who used to be Belle. It looked like she was going towards City Hall. Curious. Was she applying for a permit? Was there some licence she needed to renew? His fingers itched to pick up the phone and call the Dark One about what he had seen. He was the only other human being in town, the only person who knew the truth about anything. It was just the Dark One, Jefferson, and Queen Regina.

But he couldn’t bother him too much. They couldn’t raise any more suspicion than they already had with their one secret meeting in the woods. The Dark One was still trying to maintain his cover as “Mr. Gold.” Besides, what difference could it make that Belle was running an errand to City Hall?

With a sigh, Jefferson moved away from the telescope. He’d been awake for more than an hour, it was time to put on pants.

In no time at all, he had showered, dressed, and chugged down a protein shake. Most days, it was hard for him to summon up the will to cook or eat. He kept his body going with prepackaged meal replacements. They tasted like crap, but at least he didn’t have to think about them. He left cooking for people who thought they had something to live for.

He made his way to the front doors. The house had a wide driveway that ran under a large overhang. Whenever visitors came, they could disembark from the vehicles and go into the house without the hazards of rain or snow.

If he ever had visitors.

At the moment, and for the past twenty-eight years, all he had was the most recent copy of the Storybrooke Daily Mirror. It wasn’t a bastion of hard-hitting journalism, but for a long time it had been the only way he could know anything about the town he spent so much time looking at. The newspaper had given him names to put to the faces--Mayor Mills, Mr. Gold, Sheriff Humbert, and later Sheriff Swan. It had been a lifeline, and he still clung to it. For nearly three decades, the dates on the front page had been the only changes he had seen anywhere in this town.

Today’s date was April 2nd, 2012. The headline was about the continued search for a missing person. Kathryn Nolan, a paralegal working at the firm of Duke & Duke, had been missing for more than a month. There had been sightings of a woman matching her description in various parts of Storybrooke, but by the time the police arrived, all traces of her had gone. Sheriff Swan encouraged anyone with any information regarding Mrs. Nolan’s whereabouts to call the station.

On the next page, there was an editorial decrying the lack of effort put forth by Kathryn’s husband, David Nolan, to aid in the search. Sydney Glass stopped just short of outright accusing Mr. Nolan of gross negligence or foul play. He only noted the amount of time Mr. Nolan spent with the schoolteacher, Miss Blanchard. The article concluded with speculation that perhaps Mrs. Nolan was not missing at all, but had run away from a terminally unhappy home.

After finishing the paper, he put it away in the office closet and went back to the telescope. The lights were on in the house where Grace lived. The other girl had been picked up. Tim Lewis was home from work. The three of them were making dinner together. Mia was stirring a pot of chili and Tim was taking a bag of corn out of the freezer.

“She doesn’t like corn, guys,” Jefferson muttered to himself. “She won’t eat the chili if you put corn in it. You’ve been taking care of her for twenty-eight years and you’ve never figured that out.”

He shook his head and looked away. Sometimes it was maddening to watch the town like this, to see these people make the same mistakes, over and over. Emma Swan had made some changes, but there were still so many ways to be unhappy.

He watched dinner in the Lewis household. He watched Grace carefully pick out all the corn from her bowl of chili and set it into her paper napkin. He watched Mia shake her head at his daughter. He watched Tim lecture her about wasting food. He watched Grace scowl as she picked up the napkin and dumped the offending corn kernels back into the chili. She ate, but she looked like she was going to vomit.

“I’m sorry, love,” he whispered. He had to get to her, somehow. He had to let her know that he was her father. He had to get her back to Leo.

After dinner, the family watched TV. Grace sat on a couch between Tim and Mia, and flickering light bathed over all of them. They weren’t bad people, her fake-parents. They did love her, and they did the best they could to raise her to be healthy and successful in this world. Whoever Tim and Mia had been before, they were victims of the curse too. They had never meant to steal another couple’s daughter.

He had to put this right. He had to end this curse. Jefferson didn’t have much power, but he would do anything to put his family back together.

He moved the telescope away from Grace. After a brief search, he found the big pink house in Old Town where the Dark One lived. The lights were on, but no one was visible through the windows. If he called on the phone, the Dark One would tell him to be patient. The Savior would break the curse in due time.

But Jefferson had already waited too long.

Scanning through town, he set his sights on the Sheriff’s station. Storybrooke was peaceful enough that most of the cops could hang up their guns in time for dinner. They were all long gone by now. Even Sheriff Swan was packing up and getting ready to go home for the night.

Perfect.

Picking up the sleek, silver cordless phone, Jefferson punched in the numbers he had seen in the newspaper. Through the telescope, he could see Emma Swan hear the phone ringing. She slumped and grimaced in the way of everyone being clawed back into a job they thought was done for the day. Then she straightened up, and picked up the receiver on her desk.

“Sheriff’s station, this is Emma.”

Jefferson cleared his throat. “Yeah, is this the number to call if somebody saw Kathryn Nolan?”

Perking up, Emma fumbled on her desk for a pen and paper. “It sure is. Who am I talking to?”

That question was too complicated to get into. “Yeah, I don’t know for sure if it was Kathryn Nolan, but it looked like a woman in her mid-thirties, caucasian, looked kinda haggard. I, uh, I tried to talk to her, but she just kept walking through the woods.”

“Which woods are those? Where was this?”

“Oh, yeah, it was the north woods. You ever been up on Angus Drive?”

“Can’t say that I have. Still kind of new to the area.”

“Yeah, well that’s where she was. About ten minutes ago I saw her, she was walking towards town. Like I said, I tried to get her attention, but she didn’t listen. I didn’t wanna try to chase after her. Might scare her, you know. Make things worse.”

“Right, right,” Emma said. “So, north woods, Angus Drive, ten minutes ago. And what was your name?”

Jefferson hung up the phone. Then he got his coat and a scarf. It was time to go for a walk.

****

There were several cars in the massive garage of the house where Jefferson had been a prisoner. For the first twenty-eight years, he hadn’t been able to open the garage door to get them on the road. Even after Emma had rolled in, the cars were still useless. None of them had gasoline.

So Jefferson walked. He had walked along the highway and through the woods and over the town line as far as he could before something terrible happened. He walked into town sometimes, trying to find a way out. When he’d noticed “Mr. Gold” acting strangely, he had walked to the pawn shop.

At this point, he knew the town better than anyone else. Who knows the shape of a cage better than the captive inside? He knew the borders and boundaries, especially the area around the house. He knew where the road made a wicked hairpin turn, where someone who was still kind of new to the area wouldn’t know what was coming and could be caught off guard.

The yellow Volkswagen had better brakes than he thought--Emma stopped short of actually hitting him when he emerged from the woods onto the road in front of her. He’d been willing to take the hit, half-curious to see if the curse would let any injury last longer than a week or so.

Emma’s quick driving stopped him from actually getting hurt, but the collision was close enough that he could fall to the ground in a convincing show. She stopped the car and got out when she saw him.

“Oh my God, are you okay?”

On the gravel shoulder of the highway, Jefferson groaned and clutched his leg.

“Sir? Sir, can you talk? I’m Emma Swan, do I need to call for EMTs?”

“No,” Jefferson gritted his teeth, swallowed the imaginary pain. “No, I live around here. I’ll be fine. Can you just get me back to my house?”

For just a moment, she hesitated. “Uh, sure. Yeah, let’s get you inside, at least.”

She helped him up and into the passenger seat of the bug. Then she began to drive.

“So where do you live, Mr…?”

“Angus Drive.” He answered only the question she had said out loud. “It’s up ahead.”

“Funny.” Now that the moment of panic had passed, Emma seemed less willing to accept half-answers. “I just got a call about that address. A man said he saw a missing person out this way. Maybe you saw her when you were out. A blonde woman in her mid-thirties?”

He shook his head. “That sounds like your description, Sheriff.”

“First, I’m not in my mid-thirties. Second, how did you know I’m the Sheriff?”

“I read the paper. And who else would be getting a call about a missing person? And, you’ve got your badge on your hip.”

She frowned. “Guess that all checks out. Yeah, I’m Sheriff Swan. What’s your name?”

Again, Jefferson didn’t answer. “This is the house on the right.”

“A house?” Emma said as she parked under the awning. “This looks more like a hotel! Do you have a big family or something?”

Jefferson opened the door, but made sure to wait for her to help him out of the car. “No,” he said. “It’s just me.”

“The sign on the mailbox says Dogdson.”

“Sure does.”

Leaning on Emma, Jefferson pretended to hobble up the stairs to get into the front door. The curse had never given him a key to this house, so he always left it unlocked. Someday, when the curse was broken, he would find a way to lock the door behind him and walk away a free man. He would take Grace and walk all the way to the Discworld if he had to.

“Where should I put you?” Emma asked once they were in the foyer.

“Closest living room is over there.”

She set him up on one of the white leather couches with his “bad” leg propped up on the arm. “Want me to take a look at it?”

“No, no, I’ll be fine. Listen, I’m kind of an amateur cartographer. Upstairs, I’ve got maps for all of these woods. They could be useful to you, since you don’t know the area well.”

Hands on her hips, Emma Swan looked down at him. She looked shrewd, suspicious. Kind of like Leo, only skinny. “I never told you I don’t know the area.”

Jefferson grinned. What was the old saying about honesty? Better to tell the truth because then you don’t have to keep track of your lies? “I guess you didn’t.”

“The only person I told that to lately was a man on the phone who also didn’t tell me his name.” Emma sat down on the coffee table in front of the couch so they were on the same level. “Did you actually see Kathryn Nolan around here?”

He didn’t stop grinning. “No.”

“And your leg isn’t hurt at all.”

It wasn’t a question, but he still answered. “No.”

“Can you give me a single good reason why I shouldn’t arrest you on the very serious charge of Wasting the Sheriff’s Time?”

Jefferson sat up. “I do need your help,” he said. “But I thought if I told you what was going on, you would think I was crazy.”

Emma didn’t blink at that. “People who might be crazy need just as much help as people who might be sane. Let’s start from the beginning: Tell me your name.”

“Jefferson,” he answered immediately.

“Jefferson,” she repeated. “Is that a first name or a last name?”

“First.”

“And the last name?”

He didn’t really have one. Few people in the old world did. “Ogg,” he answered.

It was the name he went by on worlds where last names were common. Leo’s name. He was part of a proud tradition of men becoming Mr. Ogg when they married an Ogg woman.

Emma looked him in the eyes, long and hard. “Jefferson Ogg,” she said slowly. “That’s… such a weird name, I don’t think you made it up.”

“I didn’t,” he said.

“Uh-huh,” she said. “And what do you need help with, Jefferson Ogg?”

“I…” Gods, how could he even start? He would just have to show her. “It’s upstairs.”

She gave him another look, not speaking. Then she pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and pressed some buttons.

“Texting on the job?”

“I left my walkie-talkie in the car.” She put her phone away. “Just letting my roommate know where I am and to call the dispatch office if she doesn’t hear from me in 10 minutes.”

That was almost funny, that she thought he was dangerous. As if the most dangerous person in Storybrooke wasn’t signing Sheriff Swan’s paychecks.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he said.

****

It was the first time anyone other than him had set foot in the office. He wondered what Emma made of the room. All Jefferson ever cared about was the telescope and the walk-in closet where he stored the newspapers. Neither of those things drew Emma’s focus.

“That’s a lot of top hats,” she said as she stood in front of the lit-up shelf. There were rows of them, all made of an endless supply of black felt. “You part of a show choir or something?”

“No.” He shut the door behind them, locked it. “The hats… are actually what I need your help with.” He pulled out some of the felt, some sewing needles and a pair of scissors. He tossed them all onto the table in front of her. “I need you to make one.”

Now the expression on Emma’s face was what ‘suspicious’ wanted to be when it grew up. “You think I’m a hatter?”

He stood behind her, nudging her into a chair in front of the raw materials. “I think you can do extraordinary things, Emma. I think you can do exactly what I need you to. I think you can save me.”

Her expression morphed from disbelief to exhaustion. “No, not you too. Have you been talking to Henry? What is it with this town and people thinking I can save them?”

“Because you can!” He put his hands on either side of the chair and pushed her to the table. Then he leaned over her to keep her from getting up. “You are a special person, Emma. You made the changes start, you can make everything good again.”

“Bring back the happy endings, is that what you want from me?”

She was angry. She meant the remark to be flippant. But she was so right it brought tears to his eyes.

“Yes,” Jefferson whispered. “Yes, that’s all I want. The Dark One says it’s your destiny, that you have already brought--”

“Wait, who?”

“The Dark One,” he said. “Rumpelstiltskin, he--”

“Will you listen to yourself?” Emma pushed herself up away from the table and stood up to confront him. “Do you think you’ve had a conversation with Rumpelstiltskin? What, do you think Regina is the Evil Queen too?”

“Yes!” he shouted. He picked the felt up off the table and shook the fabric in her face. “You have all the pieces, Emma! Why can’t you put them together?”

“Because this is the real world!” she shouted back.

“Every world is real!”

She made for the door. The lock kept her busy for just enough time that Jefferson was able to catch up with her. Gently, he pulled her away from the door and stood in front of it. Just being taller than her was enough to make him look like a threat.

“You don’t understand,” he tried to keep his voice from breaking. “There are so many worlds out there. I’ve been to most of them. The Dark One gave me a hat that I can use to travel from world to world. I could use it to get out of here, but I don’t have it anymore!”

Emma reached for her phone. He grabbed her wrist and pulled the device out of her hand.

“It needs magic,” he explained, as calmly as he could. “I’ve made a hundred hats, but they’re just hats, no good to anyone. I need magic. You have magic. You brought magic to Storybrooke the day you came here.”

She frowned at the phone in his hand and stepped back. “There was nothing different about the day I came here.”

“You’re right.” Keeping her in his sights, he stepped away from the office door and toward the closet. “It was the day after you arrived, the day after you broke the sign. October 24th, 2011. That was the day the clock on the library started to tick.”

Emma just gaped at him. “How could you remember that?”

“It was the most important day in the history of this town. The first real day to happen in twenty-eight years.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Can I show you?” he asked. “I’ll even give you your phone back, so you can tell Mary Margaret you’re okay. But I just need you to promise that you’ll hear me out.”

She glared and held out her hand. “You are damn lucky you don’t have a gun right now.”

He watched her press the buttons, then put her phone back in her pocket.

“You bought yourself another ten minutes because I don’t feel like filling out the paperwork necessary to arrest you.”

Jefferson went to the closet. “It’s in here,” he said. “All the evidence I have is in here.”

She put her hands on her hips, squared her shoulders. “Go get it then.”

Right, Sheriff Swan wasn’t going to be the first one to go through an unknown door in the house of an obvious lunatic. Jefferson opened it, and showed her the newspapers. Twenty-eight stacks and counting. Each stack was made of twelve bundles, reaching to the ceiling. Three hundred and forty one bundles. The whole of the curse, contained in this room.

“I saved them all,” he said. “Twenty-eight years’ worth.”

“So you’ve been saving newspapers since you were, what, five?”

“Since the day I came to this town,” he answered. “Since the day anyone came to this town.” Kneeling on the ground, he moved the smallest pile and pulled out the smallest bundle. “Do you want to know what day that was, Emma?”

She didn’t answer, but he took the paper out from the bottom of the bundle and held it up in front of her.

“Go on,” he growled. “Read it.”

“Uh, it says that Mayor Mills announced a new committee to--”

“Read the date!” he snapped.

Jaw clenched, Emma yanked the paper out of his hands and looked at the top. She didn’t read it out loud, but he saw her eyebrows furrow.

“That’s… my birthday,” she whispered. “Like, that was the day I was born.”

“October 23rd, 1983,” he said. “That was the day the curse started. The day you were born was the day the Evil Queen cursed us all to live in a world without magic.”

“That’s--”

“There was no time.” He didn’t let her speak. “Nothing changed, nothing happened. We were frozen. Most of them didn’t notice, but I did. I remembered, I…” He couldn’t go on. “I thought I was crazy. I thought nothing I knew was real. I thought I had lost everything. But you… You’re the Savior. You can bring it back.”

Emma shook her head and looked down at the newspaper again. “Even if all this is true, why am I the one who has to--wait a minute!” She pointed at the paper, at a picture of the mayor. “This is a crock of shit! That’s Regina! Regina wasn’t mayor on the day I was born!” She flipped through the other pages. “Yeah, look at this. Sydney looks the same in this picture as he does today. Look at the school news, I’ve seen these kids!”

“I told you, time was frozen.”

“Or you put a fake date on an old paper just to mess with me!” She kept looking at the newspaper, seeing but not understanding. “Yeah, this ad here, this is Tim Lewis. He gave me a discount on my car insurance. His daughter, Paige? She looks exactly like she does in this ad. Pretty sure she’s eleven, not thirty-nine.”

Jefferson ripped the paper out of Emma’s hands. “She is not his daughter!” He snarled. “Will you listen to me? That girl’s name is Grace. She is eleven. She has been eleven for twenty-eight years!”

“I--” Emma put her hands up and let out a slow breath. “I don’t think either one of us is going to convince the other.”

“I don’t care if you believe me, I just need you to make a gods-damned hat!”

To Jefferson’s shock, Emma seemed ready to do what he asked, maybe in the name of de-escalating the situation. She went back to the table, slowly sat down, and picked up the felt. “You need this so you can go back to Fairytale Land?”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t care about that world anymore. I need to go back to the Discworld.”

Emma squinted as she tried to thread a needle. “Discworld? I’ve heard of those books. They’re supposed to be funny, right?”

Jefferson didn’t smile. “It’s a real place.”

Looking up, Emma opened her mouth, and then closed it. “Sure.” She began to half-heartedly jam the needle between two pieces of felt.

He collapsed into a chair by the telescope. Gods, was she really doing this? Jefferson only knew enough about magic to know that he was better off not playing with it. But if the Dark One was right, then Emma Swan wouldn’t be able to stop herself from using magic. She would do it naturally, maybe accidentally. It wouldn’t matter if the hat looked awful. All it had to do was work.

“My wife is from there,” he offered as a way to make conversation.

Emma didn’t look up from the stitches. “From Discworld? Does that make her a witch or something?”

He shook his head. “Her mother is. I guess she could be too, if she wanted. Most of the time witchcraft is just knowing something other people don’t know.”

“Like how to make a hat?” Emma looked at him through a tube of felt. “It’s been a long time since my last Home Ec class. This is not going to be pretty.”

“It just needs to work,” he muttered. “Just… get it to work.”

Sighing, Emma pulled out her phone again.

“Has she even answered you?” he asked. “Maybe she’s off somewhere screwing David Nolan.”

A glare. “I’m doing you a favor by working on this hat. So maybe you could do me a favor and not say rude things about my friends.”

“I got you here by talking about Kathryn Nolan. Do you actually care about her?”

Emma kept her eyes on her work. “She’s a person. I care about people. She could be lost in the woods, disoriented and hungry. Of course I want to find her.”

“Do you think she’s still alive?”

“I have to hope so.” She cut one of the threads. “We haven’t found a body, or even body parts. If some monster was out there cutting out hearts and putting them in jewelry boxes, at least then there’d be some evidence.” She gave him a sideways glance. “Do you care about Kathryn Nolan? Or do you think she’s just a fairytale character?”

“I care about her because she’s a fairytale character,” Jefferson said. “Her name was Princess Abigail. She was the daughter of King Midas. She gave me a lot of gold just for trying to find a way to reverse the effects of her father’s… gift.”

Emma nodded, clearly humoring him. “I’d heard that King Midas had a daughter. I didn’t know her name was Abigail. Doesn’t sound Greek, but what do I know?” She was sewing the brim on the hat, after that it would be finished.

Jefferson stood up. His feet moved on a schedule that was bigger than Emma Swan. He looked through the telescope. It was nine-thirty. Bedtime.

“Do you want to see her?” he whispered to Emma.

“Kathryn?”

“My daughter.”

They were putting her to bed, Tim and Mia both. She was almost too big for the gesture, but maybe that was why she wanted it so much. Jefferson felt Emma’s presence beside him, and he stepped away from the telescope.

“They never remember to give her the stuffed rabbit,” he said. “That’s the only one that keeps her from having nightmares.”

“Oh, that’s Paige,” Emma said. She looked up from the window. “You… have a telescope pointed at the bedroom of an eleven year old girl.”

“She’s my daughter,” Jefferson repeated. “I’ve lost her mother. Grace doesn’t know who I am. I need to keep an eye on her.”

Emma stayed between Jefferson and the telescope. “Is it because Paige is adopted? Are you her birth father or something?”

He didn’t know whether to scream or cry, so he laughed. Emma kept talking.

“It’s no shame if that’s the case. Believe me, I know how mixed-up it can be to have a kid that’s yours but isn’t yours.”

“Shut up,” Jefferson said through gritted teeth. “Grace is mine. Mine and my wife’s.”

“You said you lost your wife…”

“Yes! And I’ll only find her again once I have a hat that works!” He almost grabbed her by the shoulders, but she was too fast. She made it back to the table and kept it as a barrier between them.

“Enough!” Emma said. She picked up the hat and tossed it over to him. “This is the last of my goodwill, understand? I’m going to leave now. You’re gonna let me out of this room and out of this house. I’m gonna call Tim and tell him to buy his daughter some blackout curtains. If I ever catch wind of you snooping around little girls again, I will personally make sure you rot in jail.”

Jefferson looked down at the crumpled felt in his hands. It was only a hat by the most generous definition. But maybe it would be enough.

When he looked up, Emma was gone. From outside, he heard the rumble of a car engine starting up. As she drove away, the sound grew fainter. He still held the hat in his hands.

It didn’t feel magical. His old hat had a certain… quality. There was an aura about it, not quite tangible. But there was a feeling he got when he looked at his hat. A feeling of… possibility. Like there was so much more to it than what met the eye. There was none of that in the hat Emma had made.

Maybe magic was different here. Maybe there was a way. Some way. He had to try. He would never know if he didn’t try.

He closed his eyes and took a breath. “Please.” With all his heart, he prayed to any power that was listening.

With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the hat to the ground, as he had done a thousand different times in a hundred different worlds. The hat spun and he waited for it to keep spinning, waited for it to grow larger and disappear into a whirlpool of purple smoke. He waited for the hole in the whirlpool, the portal that could take him anywhere.

But the hat barely made a full rotation before it stopped spinning. It sat on the ground, unmoving, unmagical.

Jefferson stared at it, until his vision blurred with tears. Then he began to laugh.

Of course it didn’t work! Why would anything work in this world? Of course there was no escape! Of course he was going to die in this world! Or worse--he would live forever in a world without time and he’d never see Leona again.

He sobbed. His legs gave out and sent him careening to the floor. He lay face down on the patterned carpet, stared at Emma Swan’s misshapen hat, and wept like a child.

****

Later--an hour? A year? Did it make a difference?--when couldn’t cry anymore, Jefferson pulled himself off the floor. He made it all the way to the chair before he collapsed again and hung his head in his hands.

It hadn’t worked. The Savior hadn’t worked. The side of goodness hadn’t worked. Well, Jefferson was never one to get too hung up about paltry matters like good and evil.

Slowly wheeling the office chair over to the desk, Jefferson fumbled for the silver telephone. He pushed in numbers he knew by heart, numbers he had wanted to call a dozen times in the past month, but never had. Not until now.

He tried to breathe, as the phone rang. But then he stopped when he heard it pick up. A woman’s voice. Belle’s voice.

“Mr. Gold’s residence. Who is calling?”

Jefferson didn’t speak. He didn’t breathe. Mrs. Gold knew that he had slept with her husband. He couldn’t ask her to put him on the phone. He couldn’t even let her know who he was.

He hung up.

With another deep breath, he pulled a book with yellow pages out from a shelf above the desk. He flipped through the thin paper, until he found the name and number he was looking for.

He dialed slowly, taking a breath between each number. He couldn’t sound like he was upset. He couldn’t show any weakness in front of her.

This was a bad idea. This was the worst idea he could have ever come up with. The last time he’d worked with this woman he had watched her murder a helpless servant once she was no longer useful. How could he know that she wouldn’t do the same to him?

Maybe by the time he wasn’t useful, he would already be in the Discworld.

He needed magic. He needed to get out. He needed power. So he called the most powerful person in town.

Regina picked up on the third ring. “Who exactly do you think you are to be calling my home at this time of night?”

“Your Majesty,” he said calmly. “This is Jefferson the realm-jumper. I’d like to offer my services.”

#golden rings #rumbelle #rumbelle fic #jefferson #hat trick

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jawritter · 4 years

Text

Curves...

Requested by: @prettysourabbie

Can I request a Dean Winchester x plus size reader, where she really shy and dorky but believes that she really bad at sex because she is bigger? And dean shows her that she not 😊💕 I hope this makes sense haha! I know this sound awkward turtle 🐢

Word Count: 4036

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: Smut!, unprotected sex, insecure reader, self-hate, plus-sized reader, unrequited/requited love, angst, self-loathing, fluff.

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please don’t copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you guys enjoy this one.

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!

*****MASTERLIST*****

Sitting alone in the cold and mostly dark library of the bunker, you waited for the return of your two favorite boys.

Sam and Dean Winchester.

You’d been working as the researcher for the Winchesters, and well most other hunters in the area, for years.

You were raised in the life, but you weren’t ever like your average hunter. You weren’t skinny, or athletic, with perfect aim, perfect stamina that it takes to chase down and kill all that shit that goes bump in the night. Much to your father’s dismay, you were always a little on the heavier side.

It’s not like all you did was sit on your ass, and eat or something either, it’s just how you were built, you couldn’t control it, no matter how much you exercised, ran, ate all that healthy crap; it did no good. You always maintained the same weight.

Which was… Well… Let’s face it…

Not exactly the standards of The Next Top Model.

Your stomach wasn’t flat and perfect, your hips were on the wider side, your thighs thicker than your average girl. You weren’t exactly small chested. You were just naturally larger than your average person. Even though you barely tipped the scales at five feet tall.

Your dad said you’d never be good for anything if he couldn’t marry you off, because you were too heavy for “breeding,” which was common in hunting compounds like the one you grew up on, and you couldn’t hunt, then you were useless to him.

He’d left you at a bar just outside of Seattle, Washington. That’s where you meet your rescuer, and honestly, your favorite of your two favorite boys.

Dean.

He saw you sitting outside of the side of the bar crying because you didn’t know what you were going to do, he didn’t hesitate to take you in just like you were one of them when he’d heard your story, taking you to your new home, the bunker.

Instead of discouraging your skills in research, he embraced it.

Sam helped you get started in this overload of information that the men of letters had collected, your personal heaven honestly, and you’d been here ever since; doing what you could to help the boys behind a computer, a lore book, or a phone.

You were happy here with your life, mostly anyway. It suited you, and Dean always made sure you wanted for nothing. He would always go out of his way to take care of you, no matter what you needed or wanted.

It didn’t take you long to fall for the overly gorgeous elder Winchester.

His smile, his bright jade green eyes, that adorable shading of freckles that covered his skin, dusting even his nose, and checks; giving him almost a boyish look. His infectious laugh, his soft auburn hair, the way he cared more about others than he ever could himself.

You had learned to love everything about him, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even though there were parts of his past that were darker than he’d ever let anyone know. Even though there were things that had happened to him, that had affected him to the uttermost part of his being.

You loved him anyway.

Past all flaws, and beyond all reason.

Of course, you never told Dean that. Hell no. You’d never tell Dean any of that.

Dean liked girls that were supermodel types.

Bleach blonde, toned bodies, too much makeup, and cheap perfume. Easy lays basically.

You were none of that.

You didn’t have the confidence that those girls had, so you just never even tried with Dean. The two of you had a good relationship going, and you just be happy with that, and not do anything like confess your feelings to mess it all up.

The loud opening and closing of the bunker door pulled you from your self-loathing. You hurriedly straightened your glasses, fixed your messy bun, and checked to make sure your led zeppelin t-shirt, that you had borrowed from Dean and yet to have returned, had no stains on it.

You’d been researching some stuff for Garth on a strange case he was working on, probably a Djinn from the looks of it, and hadn’t really gotten yourself together today. You were still in your favorite PJ pants and fuzzy slippers.

"Hey Y/n,” Sam greeted you as he flopped down in the chair across from you, taking his boots off.

“Hey, where is Dean?” you asked him, listening for, but not hearing the elder Winchester anywhere.

“Dean, uh... Went out. Said he needed to blow off some steam. It was a pretty rough hunt for him... I’m sorry Y/n, I know you hate it when he goes out and does this…” Sam said, letting his sentence trail off before finishing it.

You chew on your lower lip for a moment, nod your head, reopening your laptop, burying yourself in your work.

You couldn’t look up at Sam, who you knew was staring at you with some pitiful look, and you didn’t want his pity. You knew your place, and Dean’s arms, even though you wanted to more than anything, would never be your place.

Sam was no idiot, he knew you had feelings for his brother. He just didn’t know what to say to make it better for you right now.

So he got to his feet, patted you on the shoulder, and then made his way to his room for the night.

You worked through the tears streaming down your face when he was out of sight until your eyes burned too bad to keep working, and your head hurt from crying. So you made your way to your room, and crawled into the bed, the cold lonely bed, and fell into a restless sleep. Your heart beating like it was going to just give up and stop any minute.

You laid there torturing yourself. Wondering what she looked like? Would she hold him when it was over? Would she be enough to comfort him the way he deserved? Would she play with his hair while he sleeps like you want to do? Would she realize how lucky she was to be in his arms? Cause some people, like yourself, would never get that chance.

—————————–

The next morning you made your way into the kitchen. Your head is still pounding, and your eyes are still red.

You were wondering if Dean had made it home yet, but you didn’t have to wonder very long.

As soon as you rounded the corner there he was, probably still in last night’s clothes, pouring a cup of coffee.

For a moment you faltered by the door, and started to just turn around, and go back to your room.

You didn’t know if you could face him right now, you knew you looked like a whole mess. Last night was harder on you with him going out than it was ever. Maybe it was because it had been so long since you’d seen him. Maybe it was because he had texted you the day before he headed back to Kansas, and promised a movie night when he got home. He must have needed to get laid more than he needed his friend.

You turned around to head back towards your room, but Dean had heard you. His hunter reflexes are faster than your feet.

Damn him.

“Hey, sweetheart! Want me to pour you a cup of coffee?” Dean said, looking at you over his shoulder, that smile that could stop your heart on his perfect pink lips, lips that some other woman was kissing last night. The signs of that visible with the deep purple hickey that was poking out just under the collar of his shirt.

You just nod, not trusting your voice.

Dean poured you a cup of coffee and fixed it the way you liked. You wondered how he knew that. You didn’t remember ever telling him how you liked your coffee, he just always seemed to know.

You made your way over to the table in the corner of the room, and Dean brought your cup of coffee and set it down in front of you.

“So, I was thinking tonight we would lock ourselves in the Dean cave, and do that Harry Potter marathon you’ve been talking about. I’ll order some pizzas and…Y/n, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

You cursed yourself for being so damn obvious this morning. You just shrug your shoulders, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Did some asshole hurt you? Tell me his name! I’ll kick his ass!"

You had to hold back a snicker at that because the mental image your mind painted of Dean kicking his own ass was quite amusing.

"No one’s hurt me, Dean, I’m fine,” you tell him, making to get up with your coffee cup, and just head back to your room.

“Bullshit Y/N, I’ve known you for years, we’re best friends. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He looked at you pleadingly, and you sighed deeply before looking down at your coffee cup.

“I just let myself get all in my head last night. I’m fine now. I’m just tired. I think I’m going to go and lay down for a little bit. We’ll do whatever you said you wanted to do tonight,” you said as Sam walked past you, giving you an apologetic look.

Sam was the kind of person who was not going to get in the middle of it, so he just continued to make his way to the refrigerator after his morning run.

“Are you sure you’re okay? ‘Cause you don’t look okay, Sweetheart. Maybe I could just come keep you company, and cuddle with you like we used to while you rest, or until you feel better.”

Dean made his way over to you while he was taking, and wrapped his arms around you.

As soon as he did you jerked back from him. He looked down at you confused and hurt, but he smelt like her perfume and it made your stomach lurch, bile rose in your throat at the thought of how it got there.

“No offense Dean, but you need a shower,” you said coldly and turned walking back to your room, leaving a very confused and hurt looking Dean, and a somewhat amused Sam.

Probably because he thought Dean deserved that.

You wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Dean, but you didn’t know if it wouldn’t totally rip your heart out, especially with him smelling so much like her.

—————————————–

After about two hours of you crying yourself to the point, you weren’t able to cry anymore in the darkness of your room, hating your weight, hating that you weren’t good enough, hating the fact that you had to wear glasses all the time, hating the fact that you were a nerd, and always were a nerd. Your stomach grumbled, reminding you that you had skipped breakfast this morning, but you didn’t want to run into the boys again, so you had just resolved to lay there when you hear your door open, and close softly.

You could smell Dean’s body wash as he made his way quietly as possible over to the side of your bed. Your back was to him, and the door, cover pulled high up to your chin, your hair pretty much blocking your face from his view.

“Y/N, are you asleep?” Dean whispered.

You didn’t move, you didn’t say anything, you didn’t really have time to before Dean pulled the cover back, and you felt the bed dip under his weight. Your heart rate jumped up through the roof as his scent surrounded you, and he pulled the covers back over himself and you.

“I showered…I… I don't smell like her anymore… I made Sam check to make sure,” he said, moving his way over closer to you in a spooning position, wrapping his arm around you gently, and pulling himself closer to you.

Your heart was beating so hard now you were sure he could feel it through your ribs, even with all your “extra padding” as you called it.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you say something to me before? I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know. I would have much rather come home to you than run to some whore that literally meant nothing to me."

You made a mental note to kill Sam.

"Sam told you didn’t he,” you almost whispered, your stomach was in a knot at this point. What the fuck was he trying to tell you? You couldn’t do for him what he needed.

“Yeah, but in his defense, you left me standing there torn between hunting down whatever random dude that had hurt you that you weren’t telling me about, and trying to scrap my pride up off the floor,” Dean said.

It took all you had not to flinch at that. You shouldn't have snapped at Dean, but you couldn’t stand the smell of her either.

“I’m sorry Dean, I shouldn’t have taken my feelings out on you. You have every right to have sex with whoever you want. She could probably do more for you than I ever could. I know you are not attracted to me. I’m not blind. You don’t have to come in here, and say all those things just to make me feel better,” you said, refusing to turn around and look at him.

You felt Dean sit up, and for a moment you thought he was going to get up and leave, shattering your heart even further.

Instead of getting up and leaving, Dean rolled you over to your back with more ease than you thought would have been possible, and straddle your hips with his thighs. Bracing his weight off of you with his hands on either side of your head. You stared into his piercing eyes for a moment in shock. He looked cross between hurt and angry.

“Let me tell you a little something about that whore that you said could do so much better than you for me. Yeah, I fucked her, I’m not even gonna try and deny it, but after she was done I got up and got dressed to go jerked myself off in the car because some whore isn’t gonna get all of me Sweetheart believe that. I’d give my damn right arm to have you, what the fuck do you mean I’m not attracted to you? Every time we’re watching TV together I’m fighting to hide my boner because I didn’t want to freak you out. I wouldn’t be in here with you right now if I didn’t want to be. Why the hell do you think so low of yourself?”

Dean was still hovering over you, so many emotions on his face that it was impossible to read them all.

“Dean, I’m fat. I’m no good at sex. I couldn’t get you off if I tried to. You still would have ended up having to go and finish yourself off. Very few men want to touch this, very few ever have.”

You tried to avoid his gaze out of your own shame. Hating yourself at that moment more than ever.

“What? Fat? Baby girl, you are NOT fat. You're gorgeous,” Dean said as he reached and grabbed your wrist, bringing your hand down to his crotch, and resting it over the impressive bulge that had formed his sweats.

You did vaguely register that he’d skipped the underwear.

He felt huge, and you couldn’t stop your eyes widening.

You always figured that Dean was packing, but damn.

“Does that feel like someone who isn’t attracted to you? Baby, I can’t tell you the nights I’ve thought about you just to get off. About kissing every curve, every inch of skin,” his hands let go of your wrist as he trailed them down your sides, and over your up to your breast, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at his light touch.

“Dean,” you said cautiously, his hand slipping under your shirt, fingers trailing lightly over your stomach, the part of your body that you hated the most.

“Let me show you just how beautiful you are, Sweetheart,” he said, his voice husky and deep. His tongue running slowly over his lower lip as his eyes roamed your body. “Let me show you just how much I’ve always wanted you since the night I met you.”

You laid there underneath him completely dumbfounded for a moment. Finally, all you could do was shake your head yes.

If you were dumb enough to turn him down now, you would lose him, and your heart couldn’t handle it, it would crush you. So here you were, going to take a chance, and do what you so desperately wanted to do for so long.

Let Dean love you.

Dean didn’t hesitate, reaching down grabbing your shirt and pulling it off and over your head, throwing it to the floor. His eyes rack over your body, looking down at your bare chest, you immediately try to cover up, regretting not putting a bra on this morning.

“No, no, pretty girl, don’t hide from me,” Dean said, bending down, and capturing your lips in his with a sweet kiss, slowly kissing away some of the worries, and insecurity.

Moving his hands down your body he pulled the waistband of your PJs and underwear down your body in one pull, leaving you completely exposed before him. Keeping your mouth busy as his tongue invaded your mouth, kissing you drunk, exploring every inch of your mouth like he’d never get to do it again.

When he finally had to pull up for air you noticed that his sweats were gone. His thick length standing proudly against his shirt, and slapping his stomach as he pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor.

You didn’t have time to get nervous before his mouth was on you again, kissing you deeply, needier than the first time.

Making his way from your mouth to your throat he sucked his mark onto your neck, one that you’d wear proudly, one you’ve wanted for so long.

He continued kissing his way down your body, licking at each nipple before sucking them into his mouth, sending a sensation you’d never felt before jolting through your body. Your back arching to meet his hard chest. Little moans fell from your lips as his mouth continued the assault on your hard nipples.

Satisfied with his work, he began to move down your stomach. Kissing and nipping at the skin there, worshiping your body like no one ever had, kissing your hips, your tights.

That’s when it hit you where he was.

“Dean, don’t!” you said, right before his mouth made contact with your already dripping core.

Dean stopped immediately, moving back up your body, placing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss, slower this time than before.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not there yet. Not tonight,” you said as he pulled away to look at you, your embarrassment filling your checks.

“That’s okay Baby, we’ve got all the time in the world. If you want to stop we can stop,” he said, brushing your hair away from your face.

“I don’t want to stop, I’m just not ready for that specifically. It’s gonna take time,” you said, he nodded his head, kissing your neck and running his tongue along the shall of your ear.

“That’s okay baby girl, I’m not going to stop loving you, and eventually, I’m going to make you forget all that insecurity you’ve got built up inside. Even if it takes years. I’m a patient man,” Dean said, slipping his fingers down your body, and finding your swollen clit with his thumb as he pushed two tick digits deep side of you, working you slowly, your hips rolling against his hand on their own as he curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that stop no one has been able to reach before.

He didn’t stop playing your body like a well-tuned instrument until you were coming undone around him, and your walls squeezing his fingers as your orgasm ripped through your body, leaving you a panting shaking mess underneath him as he worked you through your high.

Peppering your face with little kisses he let you come down completely before lining himself up with you, sinking deep inside of you in one smooth thrust. Stretching you, filling you in every way. His thick tip is sitting against your cervix. You could almost feel him pulsing inside of you.

“Fuck, your so tight baby girl,” he husks in your ear, kissing your lips in a tender kiss before grabbing your hips, and rolling you over on top of him like you weighed nothing at all. A surprised squeak leaving your lips.

“Dean, no I’m going to hurt you,” you said, feeling silly, and embarrassed as you sat astraddle of his hips, his cock buried deep inside of you.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Baby. I want you to know just how capable you are of taking care of me, please,” he said, reaching up and kissing the skin of your stomach before grabbing your hips, and rocking your hips with his strong hands.

All thought processes flew right out the window at that point.

His tip moves over your most sensitive spots in the most amazing, almost overwhelming to the point of painful, but still pleasurable way, your clit dragging over his hilt with each drag of your hips. Soon you were rocking back and forth against him on our own without any assistance whatsoever. Your bodies molded together like they were meant to be.

Dean’s head was thrown back against the pillow, the veins in his neck visible, and his jaw tightly locked.

He was beautiful.

Completely lost in what your body was doing for him.

Something you never knew was possible, never thought you would ever see, or experience first hand. Just something they wrote about in cheesy romance novels, and fanfiction.

Before long you right at the edge your body shaking on top of him. The sounds and noises that were falling from both of your lips were enough to make a porn star blush. Dean's grip on your hips was now strong enough that you were sure it would leave bruises. You didn’t care though. You let him hold onto you as he fucked himself up into you as you rode him, closer and closer to both of your ends.

Dean cursed he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down close to him as he slammed himself up into you and stilled. Spilling himself deep inside of you. His seed coating your walls in warm streams, throwing you into your own end. Waves of pleasure rolling over you both as he slowly thrust into you, dragging out both of your highs.

When both of you had control of your bodies again, Dean rolled you both over to your side, his arms never leaving you. He peppered your face and neck with little opened mouth kisses as he slowly pulled out of your body, and you couldn’t help but whine a little at the loss of contact.

Dean’s lips found yours in a sweet, but searing kiss as his hands started to trace the curves of your body, while still holding onto you tightly. Not breaking the kiss until the need for oxygen became to grate.

“I love you y/n, I have since the moment I met, and I know I’m not much, and I don’t have anything to offer you, the life we live… It’s just not your white picket fence life, but all I have is yours if you will have me. You know how hard it is for me to admit my feelings, but sweetheart, I’ve never been more sure of anything in all of my life.”

A single tear that made its way down your cheek. One that Dean caught, and wiped away with the gentle movement of his thumb over your cheek.

“I love you too, I’m yours, I always have been, always will be.”

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Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming

#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean winchster x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester smut #plus sized!reader #dean x plus sized reader #SPN fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #SPN #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester drabble #fanfiction #spn smut #smut one shot #jensen ackles #jawritter

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orbitariums · 4 years

Text

happy together | ransom drysdale

anon asked: Hey! I was wondering if you write for Ransom Drysdale? If you do could you write something where he’s married but bc of his relationship with his family, none of them know &when the questioning takes place he unwilling tells everyone about it and how he couldn’t have done it bc he was with the reader the whole time yet they don’t believe him so the reader shows up and backs him up by showing the detective a video of their activities that took place that night and he’s super cute with the reader?

note: so i saw knives out when it came out and i had to freshen up a bit!! ransom is not a fav of mine for obvious reasons BUT i can appreciate a good ransom imagine, and i think this is one. i wasn’t quite sure how to write it at the beginning but it became so fun throughout. a short and sweet read. thanks anon!

word count: 1.8k

"He doesn't even have an alibi!" screeched Joni.

She wasn't the only one screeching - everyone's voices overlapped one another's in the living room where the family questioning was taking place. Ransom was the target of the hour and he was slouched uncomfortably in a classic grandfather chair, trying to maintain his stoic calm as his family griped at each other and specifically him.

He really didn't want to have to come to this point - but it was either that, or getting accused for murder. So, he would have to go to that point.

"I couldn't have been there," Ransom muttered, first quietly because he was trying to keep calm under the pressure.

Meg rolled her eyes,

"What was that? Speak up Ransom, you always seem to have so much to say!"

A raucous chorus of agreement ensued, and Ransom took in a deep breath, this time speaking louder, but calmly, effectively hushing the crowd,

"I couldn't have been there, because I was at home with my wife."

He locked eyes with the detective, who simply glanced at him, eyebrows quirked just slightly. Meanwhile, his entire family went beserk, bewildered by his statement. But of course he wouldn't have told them of his marriage, and they wouldn't have known to begin with. No one was invited to the wedding. It was private, just the two of them and a wedding clerk. And that was just how Ransom wanted it - no crazy family drama to interrupt, no noses in his business. Just him, and you, his lovely wife. Much sweeter than him, but still a perfect match for his demeanor. So, while everyone took in the sudden news, Ransom tuned them out, although his face grew hot and his jaw grew taut. No one was supposed to know, at least for as long as he could keep it a secret. He wasn't planning on telling anyone, and he wasn't willing to. But again, the circumstances were dire.

"Hm," Detective Blanc nodded slowly, taking in the situation.

"Well- you're not just gonna believe him, are you detective?" stuttered Walt.

Detective Benoit Blanc seemed to be thumbing over Ransom's options in his mind, to prove his own statement true. Finally he spoke, silencing the room in that magnetic way of his,

"Bring your wife. Tell her to bring evidence that you were there that night, and evidence that you're married of course. Now, let's break, shall we?"

| | |

You instantly knew what you had to do, the moment Ransom called. You had insisted that you join him to support him during the questionings, but he refused, wanting to keep this a secret until he simply was unable to. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate you greatly, or want to show you off - just not to his family, for reasons he'd explained in depth ever since you started dating. But now that he called you, you were ready immediately. What better way to reveal yourself to the family than with great triumph, as you proved your husband innocent?

A hush went over the room as you entered. No one had ever seen you before, and your beauty and grace as you stood tall and resilient despite the hectic circumstances encapsulated everyone. And there was no doubting that you were Ransom's wife - the way your eyes glowed cold and belittling, shooting daggers at everyone in the room without even looking at one person in particular. Not unlike Ransom, you weren't too fond of his family either, from what he'd told you.

Though you'd always imagined that maybe one day you would meet under better circumstances, when Ransom had perhaps patched things up with his family, and you could put on a very wide smile and network your way through one of their famous dinner parties, cold hand in another cold hand as you introduced yourself: "Hi, I'm YN, Ransom's wife." But that wasn't the way you would be meeting, and thank god you got to skip past the sickly sweet drama of it all. What better way to meet the family than in this way?

You turned immediately on your ankle boot heel to face the detective, Ransom gazing at you with pleading eyes. You wore a trench coat length leather jacket over your shoulders, and a cable knit turtle neck top that matched Ransom's. In your manicured, unbattered hands you held a crisp manila file folder tight to your chest, which contained legal documents officiating your marriage with Ransom, and video evidence that proved his alibi. It was all down to you. You were his saving grace.

You spoke steadily and calmly, just like Ransom would, except you spoke in a poised, eloquent way, truly unbothered by the glares and stares of confusion that you were getting from his so-called "family." Their stares burned hot like knives in your back, and yet you persisted. Your husband was innocent. You would be the one to prove it, fully and completely, within thrall.

"Detective," you finally spoke, your voice smooth and just the right amount of husky. "I'm Y/N Drysdale, wife of Ransom Drysdale. I understand I've been called here to vouch for the innocence of my husband, who I can assure you, has no business being here among such - well, if I may be honest - insipid bastards."

You turned to face the family on that last part, turning them to stone just with the undeniable spite in your eyes, even earning a gasp from Joni. You turned back immediately as if nothing had happened, and on Ransom's face creeped a victorious smirk. Attagirl, he thought.

"But I digress," your heels clacked against the wooden floor as you walked directly in front of the detective, and passed him the folder full of evidence. "I understand you'll be wanting this."

The detective, amused by your film noir act, took the folder with grateful hands, and nodded. He sifted through the documents, you sitting down next to Ransom and holding his hand all throughout, giving it a squeeze. The detective made pleased humming noises as he sifted through the documents - so the marriage was legit. Now all that was left was a video tape, showing the time stamp in which Ransom had been at home with you, the thing that would prove him innocent.

"A movie," Detective Blanc joked, only gaining laughter from himself. "Let's see, then."

He put the tape in, and the activities of that night unfolded - in embarrassing, unfittingly cute time.

"Ransom, really, I can't be bothered!" despite your pleas, you were laughing giddily as Ransom hugged and tugged at you from behind, distracting you from your tax of stirring up homemade chocolate cake mix.

"Really, because you seem to like this," Ransom laughed, so carefree and happy - unlike him. He was teasing you, as always, something his family would never even expect to see. But it was happening so clearly on video, him holding you and caressing you, biting joyfully at your neck.

"You're going to make me waste this unborn chocolate cake, is that what you want?" you squealed as he picked you up, nevermind the fact that you were carrying a bowl of creamy chocolate cake mix.

"I can think of better things to eat," he cooed.

Skip.

"Ha! That's three games in a row I've won, pay up!" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air in victory.

Earlier, you and Ransom had agreed that if you won three games of Uno with him, he'd give you a foot massage. He didn't need a bet to agree to that, but he thought it was cute how you were up to the challenge.

"Sure. But I would've done it anyway," Ransom reassured you, standing up to get the stuff he needed.

"Mhm, I know. You adore me, of course you would!" you exclaimed, laying back on the couch and propping your feet up in a very Hollywood actress fashion, flipping your hair as a smile took over your features. "But I like beating you."

"Game of luck," Ransom retorted, coming back into the room with a full massage kit.

"Game of strategy. Which I see you have none of," you teased him, and Ransom let you, a full lipped smile on his face.

"You know I'm letting you bask in this, right?"

"Oh, believe me, I know."

Skip.

It was just before your bedtime, but you and Ransom were sharing a glass of evening wine, sitting across from each other on your couches. You were dressed in a darling, expensive silk robe, and Ransom had on his best loungewear. Being rich had its small perks like that.

You sighed into your wine glass, then taking a big gulp.

"Must be hard not being around your family, huh?" you asked, easing into the conversation, the deep blues and oranges of the sky outside setting the tone.

"Not really," Ransom shrugged. "It's better without them, honest. It's not hard to not see them. It's great not to, in fact."

You chuckled bitterly,

"I hear that. I love my family, but they can be-"

"A pain in the ass," both you and Ransom said at once, and you ended up shaking your heads with knowing smiles.

"Cheers to that," Ransom offered, leaning across to clink his glass with yours. You obliged, and then you both took big sips.

"Hm... I'm going to tune out soon. Care to join me?"

"It's all I ever want to do."

Skip.

It appeared that you were in the bathtub, Ransom kneeling on the floor next to you, your entire body covered with soap and bubbles while he reached a bath cloth in, gently rubbing the cloth against your soapy body, while faint music played in the background.

"Uh- this won't be necessary, will it?" Linda's voice cut into the video.

She was definitely more concerned than you were - as you were watching the tape with a mischievous smirk, knowing exactly where this was heading.

"Who has security cameras in their bathroom?" Meg snorted, making a snide comment.

Barely turning your head to face her, you responded,

"Hmm, you would think that you would. To get video evidence of all the shit that comes out of your mouth."

"Well, I must agree. That is enough. And judging by the time stamps-" Detective started, and you simply sighed, rolling your eyes - what a waste of precious time, proving your obviously innocent husband innocent.

"He was there. With me. Enjoying lovely time with his lovely wife, his hand in marriage, his eternal partner. And obviously, he's innocent. Now, may we please be dismissed? It reeks of simple minds in here."

And in that moment, Ransom had never smiled so genuinely in front of his own family. All thanks to you.

#ransom drysdale #knives out #chris evans #chris evans imagine #ransom drysdale imagine #ransom drysdale oneshot #oneshot #imagine #chris evans oneshot #knives out oneshot #knives out imagine

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smegdwarf · 3 years

Text

But Who Could Love Me? (Rimmer x Reader) - Chapter 8

A/N: 👀

Warnings: Erm mostly fluff, some implied stuff 😏 also a little arguing!

Summary: Basically giving Rimmer the love his deserves :P

Even though Rimmer was always changing its hiding place you knew where the holo disc was after all you did know him better than anyone else.

“How did you know where I hid it?” Rimmer was stunned as you started unscrewing the cover of the air vent he’d hidden the disc in.

“I know you too well Arnie” You smiled as you pulled off the cover to reveal an empty vent “It’s not there?”

“What? It has to be? That’s where I put it?” Rimmer crouched down beside you to look in the vent “...Kryten!!”

“What about him?” You asked as you started putting the vent cover back.

“That bloody bogbot must’ve cleaned the vents” Rimmer shook his head.

“But don’t the vents self clean?” You asked.

“This is Kryten we’re talking about” Rimmer smiled.

“Touché” You replied as you stood up “Let’s go find him see if he knows”

After traipsing round the ship for what felt like hours, not surprising given it’s the size of a city, you finally found the mechanoid, happily humming away while mopping the medi bay floor.

“Hey Krytes you wouldn’t happen to know the whereabouts of a certain holo disc would?” You asked sitting down on the bed as Rimmer followed.

“Surely one Mr Rimmer is enough ma’am?” Kryten asked earning a grumble from the hologram next you.

“She means Kochanski’s disc” Rimmer groaned glaring at the mechanoid who hadn’t even thought about stopping what he was doing.

“I haven’t seen it sir, why?” Kryten asked finally coming to a stop.

“Yeah why?” Rimmer looked at you, realizing he never actually asked why you wanted the disc.

“Well Lister is quite obviously depressed and missing Kochanski” You explained.

“Well that’s nothing new” Rimmer scoffed.

“That might be true but I don’t think him seeing us together is helping” You replied as Kryten nodded in agreement.

“It’s true, you too are like a couple of lovesick teenagers, always giggling and kissing each other” Kryten complained, he may not have grasped all the human emotions but even he was getting fed up with you and Rimmer ...not that that was going to stop either of you.

“Hey I can’t help it, he’s just so loveable!” You grinned, gently placing your hand under Rimmer’s chin and placing a kiss to his cheek as he smiled.

“Ma’am please” Kryten shuddered, his neck disappearing into his suit like a turtle hiding in its shell.

“So if it’s not in the vent and Kryten hasn’t seen where is it?” You asked, looking at Rimmer.

In a matter of minutes every scutter on the dwarf was now lined up in-front of you, Rimmer and Kryten in the medi bay, Rimmer almost buzzing through the roof at leading his own little robot army.

“Right you lot!” He commanded as he paced back and forth “We’ve got a task for you! For some reason Y/N wants Lister to be happy! ...Ow!”

Rimmer jumped as you pinched him while Kryten tried not to let the laugh he was holding back escape.

“As I was saying before Y/N so rudely pinched me...” Rimmer shot a playful glare at you.

“Don’t make me do it again!” You warned him with a smile.

“We want you to search the entire ship for Miss Kristine Kochanski’s holo disc ...apparently Lister’s happiness matters now ...Ow! Alright I’ll stop” Rimmer chuckled as you pinched him again as the scutters set off on their mission.

“Good one ma’am” Kryten commended you with a nod.

“Thanks Krytes” You smirked at Rimmer as he pretended to sulk.

“Y’know ma’am I could see if Miss Kochanski updated her personality file before the radiation leak happened?” Kryten suggested “Just in case we can’t find the holo disc?”

“Kryten you’re a genius! ...personality files, why didn’t I think of that?” You smiled as you sat with Kryten at the computer monitor.

“Hey?” Rimmer made himself known as yours and Krytens eyes shot up from the screen.

“Everything ok?” You looked at him as he pouted “Tell you what, why don’t Arnold and I go check the holosuite?”

“Good idea ma’am” Kryten agreed knowing full well Rimmer just wanted your attention.

“Arnold?” Rimmer looked at you with an eyebrow raised, you very rarely called him anything but Arnie.

“Come on you!” You laughed as you pulled on Rimmer’s hand to take him out of the room “You’re a smeghead you know that?”

“Oh I know!” Rimmer chuckled in your ear as he wrapped his arms around your waist as you tried to walk.

“Now which way was the holo suite?” You pondered.

“We’re not really going there are we?” Rimmer groaned as you reached the lift at the end of the corridor.

“Do I really need to answer that?” You smiled as you gently pushed him into the lift “Let’s go!”

“Oooohhh” Rimmer sulked as you told the lift where you needed to go.

Finally reaching the hologram projection suite it had occurred to you that you had never actually been inside it, this was the room that was essentially keeping you and Rimmer ‘alive’. Flashing lights and monitors everywhere alongside a huge metal cabinet which you could only assume contained the Red Dwarf crew holo discs.

“Annnnd it’s locked ...let’s go” Rimmer was almost estatic that the cabinet was locked.

“Well is there a key?” You asked.

“I’ve never seen one and I would’ve thought Kryten would have mentioned it before we left the medi bay” Rimmer replied “Let’s go?”

“Ah ah not so fast!” You smiled as you pulled a hair pin from your pocket and a paper clip from a file on the desk.

“What are you doing?” Rimmer looked at you confused as you straightened out the pin and the clip “Are you going to try and pick the lock?”

“Not just try honey!” You grinned as the lock came undone and dropped to the floor “I would’ve thought someone like you would be a lot more prepared”

“Well this is normally Kryten or Listers area of expertise” Rimmer shrugged “My god it’s a mess!”

“Well let’s get started then” You smiled handing Rimmer as stack of discs.

An hour or so later and every surface of the holo suite was covered in discs, in stacks that were organized alphabetically by Rimmer.

“See I knew you find interest somewhere” You looked over at Rimmer who had sat down with his feet up on the table and his arms crossed across his chest.

“What do you mean?” Rimmer asked as you started putting the discs back in the cabinet in their new order.

“I have noticed the alphabetical order Arnie” You smiled “No Kochanski though?”

“You know if the scutters do find this disc and we give it to Lister, Cat will start complaining?” Rimmer mumbled.

“Yeah I know but there was only one other option and you’d lose your mind” You spoke calmly.

“And that is?” Rimmer sat up properly.

“Well I could let Lister take me on a date” Rimmer’s face started to turn red “One date!”

“No, absolutely not, no way” Rimmer snapped “I’m not letting him borrow my girlfriend”

“Ah so I am your girlfriend then?” You grinned as you walked over to him.

“Well I thought it was kind of obvious” Rimmer’s lips started to curl as you stood behind him.

“I know but I’ve never actually heard you say it, what’s going on with you anyway?” You spoke softly as you wrapped your arms around him “Is someone sulking because they’re not getting my attention?”

“A little bit yeah” Rimmer tried to keep a straight face as he looked up at you but with you stood behind him talking ever so sweetly in his ear he found it difficult.

“I also know you’re not too happy about helping Lister out when he stole your chance to tell everyone about us?” You continued to speak softly in his ear before placing a kiss to his cheek “May I remind you that even though it didn’t go the way you had hoped they’re still jealous ...isn’t that kind of what you wanted?”

“I guess yeah” Rimmer smiled as you walked round to stand in front of him.

“Anything I can do to cheer you up?” You asked as a devilish grin took over his face “Except that ...not here anyway”

“Ah damn” Rimmer had the devil in his eyes as you sat down on his lap, his arms instantly wrapped round you. In one swift action he could’ve had every disc and file off the desk and on the floor and have his way but he knew you’d tell him off.

“Maybe later though” You whispered in his ear as he chuckled leaning into kiss you as someone else cleared their throat.

“Gross!” It was Cat! Leaving as soon as he appeared.

“Hey look we’re three for three now” You smiled as Rimmer laughed burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Come on let’s get this cleared up” Rimmer looked over at the endless piles of discs.

"I hope the scutters do find the disc" You sighed as you stood up.

"Why? Why are you so interested in Listers happiness anyway?" Rimmer grumbled, his good mood abruptly coming to its end.

"He's my friend?" You replied trying not to take Rimmers tone of voice personally.

"He's a goit!" Rimmer spat, his eyes locked on the discs he was placing back in the cabinet.

"Look I understand your still upset but I'm not going to put up with this every time my attention is focused on someone else" You were starting to get a little annoyed, you knew Rimmer was complex, that he needed reassurance and that this was always going to be a problem but it didn't mean it didn't upset you.

"You won't find that disc!" Rimmers voice dropped so much it could barely be heard.

"What?" You looked at him as he looked at the floor.

"You wont find that disc!" He spoke up still refusing to look at you as the guilt took over.

"What do you mean? Arnie what have you done with it?" You stood with your hands on your hips, your patience wearing thin "Why won't I find it?"

"Because I flushed it out of an airlock months ago" Rimmer finally confessed "And I hid the case in the air vent to make everyone think it was still on board"

"You have got to be kidding me?" You sighed "You let me do all this knowing full well I'd never find it? Why can't you deal with Lister being happy?"

"Look I flushed that disc way before you glitched here, it had nothing to do with you!" Rimmer tried to explain himself "That disc would've just made him more miserable, she split up with him for someone else before the radiation leak happened, she wasn't interested in him, I was protecting him"

"Protecting him? Or were you really protecting yourself so your esteem didn't crushed again?" You snarled, you didn't want to be mean but you were pissed and not about to let it go.

"Why are you pissed with me?" Rimmer couldn't understand why his mistake affected you.

"You know I love you more than anything but sometimes you are an insufferable prick Arnold!" You sighed as you went to leave.

"Please don't leave me!" Rimmer panicked.

"I'm not going to leave you ...but you do need to sort this jealousy of yours out" You replied before walking away.

You knew Rimmer meant no harm to you, after all he flushed it before you arrived on the dwarf but you knew all the while Rimmer's jealousy ran rampant in his head it would drive a wedge between the two of you. He's rationality knew you were only trying to help out Lister as a friend and nothing more but the raging green monster could only assume the worst and it was slowly taking over.

#arnold rimmer #red dwarf #arnold j rimmer #arnold judas rimmer #rimmer #hologram #arnold rimmer x reader #rimmer x reader #arnold rimmer fluff #red dwarf fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff fic #fluff

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Surveys #447-448

(one from yesterday, one from v early this morning)

How did you and the last person you kissed start talking? By both being meerkat RPers on YT back in the day. Do you think someone is falling in love with you? Definitely not. Do you have a bad temper? Nah. What was the last song you listened to? SOBS "Suteki Da Ne" from FFX. If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? Hell yeah. She actually has been my substitute teacher before, as she worked at my elementary school with the special ed kids. Are you comfortable with people going through your phone? No. I have nothing to hide on there at all, but still... I just don't like it. Do you really care about what toothpaste you use? So long as it's mint-flavored, no, I don't care. Would you like it if the whole world spoke one language? I mean, I think it's pretty inarguable that that would be a beneficial thing. For all humans to understand each other, like in dire situations where information needs to be brought across. However, I don't believe we should actually try to change that now with so many languages already developed. That would be way, way too big a task and not that important. Would mind-reading really be a blessing or a curse? I'd find it more to be a curse. Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? Nah. They just don't interest me as pets. Do you tend to daydream a lot? If so, about what? Yeah. .-. About a lot of stuff... How I want my future to be, things I wish would happen, how I'd change past errors... What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? I would 110% model for Cloak if for whatever miraculous reason they wanted me to because a bitch supports her favorite human asdkfajkwle. I'd totally do some goth modelling for Rebel's Market, too. Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy and paste them and fill them out yourself? I read my friends' answers, yes. I like learning obscure things about them. Which is your favorite episode of I Love Lucy? Bar none, the "Vitameatavegamin" one. It's fucking hilarious, man. I love that show. Do you consider yourself a deep thinker? WAY too deep. Name two people who you are closest with? My mom and Sara. Which one of those two people would you eat first, if you were starving? Neither. I would absolutely rather die. No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight… but, do you believe in hate at first sight? Well, let's be real. If you witnessed someone being abused or raped or something like that, wouldn't YOU hate the villain immediately? I sure as hell would. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? I didn't care for those. How do you feel about fake plants? They can look good, they can look tacky, and they make great additions to some animal enclosures, like reptiles and bugs, for cover and new textures. Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size? Er, no? Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? Yes. I tend to have a guilty conscience. Are you happy with your weight? NO. Do you go to church? If so, do you actually pay attention? No. When I was forced to go as a kid, I never paid attention. As a very young adult when I super rarely went, I would try to, but my attention definitely wavered. Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? Tongue, if it just didn't damage my damn teeth. :( I miss my snake eyes. Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? It's very embarrassing, but yes. A few years ago, I had this very strange period of premature incontinence when I slept. I had to be put on some medication and a schedule to wake up in the night to use the bathroom. It oddly just... vanished as randomly as it started. Had any surgeries? What kind? I had tubes put in my ears as a baby, and then at the start of 2017 (I think), I had to have a cyst removed from my butt. :^) Ever told your parents you hated them? I've told Dad that, yes. Are you sober? Yeah. Do you have a crazy side? Not really, no. I'm boring. Do you have siblings over the age of 18? All of my siblings are. Do you think that downloading music illegally is immoral? Yes, and yet... I do it anyway. :x Have you ever sworn at a policeman/woman/cop? No. How far do you agree that the mother is more important in a child’s life than the father? I Don't agree with that. Would you ever let one of your children enter a beauty pageant? If they were old enough to make their own decisions, I'd have no say. But as a little kid, no. I do not support those damn things. What was your favorite Pokemon as a child? Charmander! :') Do you have a favorite name? What is it? Alessandra. It's so beautiful. What was the topic of the last assignment/essay you wrote? Toxic masculinity. I got SO into that essay. What’s your favorite type of juice? Probably peach mango. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn? LATIN. Like holy shit. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I would just be... so happy. But also scared of where it would lead. What age would you like to have a child? No age, because I never want any. Are your parents wealthy? Definitely not. My dad SEEMS decently well-off, but he is most certainly not rich. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Your ex tells you they want you back, what do you say/do? I know I'd say yes, very quickly. -_- Do you know anyone that smokes weed? More like she's addicted to it. Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? Oh, that's Mark for sure, ha ha. Especially if he's laughing. It's game over for me if he's laughing. What’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy? Don't even fucking @ me, I love the emo hair swoop alskdfjalkwje;kjrwklejarwe Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? The only thing I've done today that deviates from my normal routine is I had to get blood drawn for some tests for my upcoming check-up. I don't know what was up with that needle, but it hurt this time. Are you the type of person to dwell on the past? I live there. Did your grandparents teach you anything? Not really, no... besides being old-fashioned is not an excuse for being an uptight... er... this answer is so mean, given the grandmother I'm talking about is dead, oof. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? I wanted one... but I don't have one and never will. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're mega cute. Who do you think about most constantly? Why? Anyone who reads these can answer that very, very easily. Have you ever considered yourself to be something other than heterosexual? Yeah; I'm either bi or pan. I think pansexual as of very recently, but for simplicity's sake and also for almost all of my family to not think I'm crazy, I really just say bisexual. Have you ever been in love? With who? Yes; Jason and Sara. Dolphins, whales, sharks, or narwhals? Dolphins or whales. Have you ever gotten anything amputated? No. Have you ever tied your tooth to a door to lose it? No. What do you do on the computer? Oh jeez... I'm pretty much, well, always on the computer, so I do a whole lot. I watch/listen to YouTube, write, clean out my dA notifications and browse artwork, scroll through Facebook, play World of Warcraft, edit the Silent Hill wiki, do way too many surveys, talk to Sara on Discord... Anything your parents should know about? No. Do you have a life? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I do nothing noteworthy. Do you have a microphone on your computer? It's built-in, but it doesn't work. Does your mouse light up? Yeah; red normally, blue when it's charging. Then it's also purple sometimes??? I have no idea what it means. Were you ever physically abused? No. Verbally? No. Sexually? No. Do your teachers like you? Not to brag or anything, but all my teachers loved me. Do your parents like you? I know they love me. Do your siblings like you? I don't feel like they do half the time. :/ It's my own fault for not knowing how the fuck to interact with them. Did you have a tail when you were born? At first I saw this question and was confused as shit, but then I remembered this was actually a thing, ha ha. But no, I wasn't. Do you enjoy school? I hated it. Are you shallow? No. Greedy? I don't think so, no. It feels good to share. Do you have a piercing in an inappropriate spot on your body? No. A tattoo? Well, I have a tattoo over my heart, so it's on my breast, if you wanna count that? Are you stubborn? God, am I. Are you incestuous? Fuck no. Do you respect your body? Meh... Yes in some ways, in other ways no. Have you ever been to therapy? Did you like it? I've been in therapy for most of my life, and yes, I find it helpful. Have you ever used Duolingo to learn another language? No. Are you unhappy at the moment? Yes. I usually am. Do you have any gay friends? Yes. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I used to enjoy it. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? This survey, actually. It's how I format it and save my progress. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Drawing. :/ Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah; when Sara and I were together and I went up to visit her, we had a breakfast date once. :') Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? Yeah. I hold a lot of nostalgia in many items. What sort of games do you like to play? Horror and fantasy, mainly. They need a story, too, and I ESPECIALLY enjoy games with multiple endings. Then I also play WoW, which is an MMORPG. Do you know anyone who is deaf? No. Have you ever been married? Nope. What is your favorite thing to dip fries in? Ketchup. Do you still talk to anyone you went to high school with? Just Girt, really. Have you ever had to dispute a charge on your credit card? I've never had my own credit card. Quick! Choose pink or purple. Pink, duh. What's your favorite book genre? Fantasy. Would you say you’re generally fit and healthy? Why/why not? No. :/ I'm trying to change that though by going to the gym. Would you ever want a job working with animals? My main aspiration is to be a wildlife photographer, if that counts? Sara also wants to be a ball python breeder, and we talk all the time about it and how I'd love to be like an assistant and help with my own future snakes. Most recently, I will definitely have to have experience with them as pets first and see if I can handle it, but I've considered breeding tarantulas on the side. The hobby could ALWAYS use more breeders to prevent wild-caught specimens being taken from the wild, and it would help lower their prices. I've gotten so passionate about those furry bastards that I would really enjoy helping out with that. Do you believe in your horoscope? Even if you don’t, do you still read it? Not at all. I don't, because it feels like a waste of time if I don't even believe in it. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No... I am firmly against cheating, but that sounds extreme. Do you enjoy Tim Burton films? Which one is your favorite? Of course! My favorite is Corpse Bride.

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Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush(es) assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? No, honestly. He really doesn't like seeing people not pursuing their utmost potential, and, uhhhh, look at me, lol. I'm in no way good enough for that god of a human being lmao. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I still have them. I only have two, and my mouth has enough room for them. Do you wish you were taller or shorter? My height's fine. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Food Lion. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I quit way too early for that to ever happen. .-. What poster is hanging closest to you? My big Metallica one. Which cuisine do you like the least? I honestly haven't experimented enough with foreign foods to decide on one specific cuisine I really don't like as a whole. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? There are A LOT. I am very, very sensitive to textures. Which type of chocolate do you like best? Milk chocolate. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Absolutely. Well, obviously not my snake Venus, but Roman? Yes. This is his house, too, and he deserves a comfy space to sleep. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? I don't have one. Have you ever made sun tea? I have no idea what that is. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? I don't like coffee. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? Now here's a question I haven't heard before, ha ha. I actually think that would be quite interesting and certainly empowering to women. Do you like to go to the movies alone? I actually did that for the Warcraft movie, and it was pretty chill. I prefer going with others, though. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? No. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Probably my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun drawing. I worked my ass off on that, and I love how it came out. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I don't use those specifically, no. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? I haven't really thought of this, but I know I want them to be scattered somewhere. I don't wanna be cremated and have no lineage to cherish the ashes so I just end up thrown away or scattered in someone's backyard or something like that. I guess the desert would be pretty cool, if it was one with meerkats. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No. I have mixed feelings on taxidermy, but doing that to your pet just... seems wrong somehow. Like I feel that there'd be an unhealthy attachment to a dead body, and it feels like you're not allowing your beloved pet to truly, fully rest. Even if there is nothing beyond death, it's just a respect thing to me. Would you ever have a pet cremated? Teddy was cremated, yes. I WANTED to cremate my first ball python and Chinese water dragon, and both were in the freezer for a long time, but it just... never happened. It's not cheap. Mom also had Cali (her dog) cremated, but didn't keep the ashes herself because of it, once again, being expensive. Personal cremation costs more than a group one. Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? Nah. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Collect anything? Any and all meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merchandise. Can you stick your fist in your mouth? ... I'm not about to try that. When was the last time you were high on anything? Never. Ever had a bloody nose? Yes. Have you ever caught a fish? Yes. Ever been up a mountain? Ugh, I wish! What are you listening to right now? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Do you have any birthmarks? Yeah; it's on my right forearm, near the elbow. Have you ever been slapped? I've been spanked and slapped on the arm by my mother when I was younger. And sometimes not so young. What do you want pierced? My collarbones, nostril, way more in my ears, and possibly my back dimples if I shrink down to a size where you can actually SEE them clearly... Do you like taking pictures? Of nature and animals. Sometimes people. Do you like getting your picture taken? Hell no. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you have your own pool? No. What do you want a tattoo of? You're asking someone who wants to be COVERED in tats, ha ha. I have a billion ideas. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nah. Have you ever been chased by cops? No. Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly? OH FUCK NO. What about cleavage? I wear tank tops more than anything, so some. What theme does your room have? It doesn't have one. Do you like cows? Awwww, I love cows. :') <3 Which slow animal is your favorite? Sloth, turtle, or snail? Turtles aren't that slow; it's tortoises you're thinking about, so I'll consider them instead. Regardless, I think I find snails the cutest. If you had to create an app, what would it be for? I have zero clue. What is one television finale where you were upset with how it ended? I don't know. Other than mandatory lockdowns, have you had to quarantine at all for CoVid? No. What steps would you take in order to track down a thief? ... Not many, tbh, given JUST how afraid of confrontation I am, ha ha. What is something that one of your family member collects? Dad collects Cleveland Browns and Carolina Hurricanes sports stuff. What are some questions that you would ask your favorite celebrity? I've... never thought of this, believe it or not. I'd be too busy blubbering about how important he is to me and thanking him for everything he's ever done alskdjfkla;wje Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes. That was very, very rare, though. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? If there was a 1% chance of half an inch of snow. :^) Everyone flips their shit here when that happens. Also, hurricanes. What types of transportation do you think we will see in the future? Besides possibly flying cars, idk. Which freaks you out more - clowns or porcelain dolls? aklsdjflajdsALSKDFJA;LWJE D O L L S. Porcelain dolls creep me out, man. Do you like salami? Yeah. Do you know your mum's first pet's name? I actually don't, no. Do you like car racing? No. I think it's stupid, honestly. People can get and have gotten seriously hurt, or worse. Who hugs you the most often? My niece and nephew, probably. Has your favorite actor ever been stuck to a project you dreaded watching (e.g., stuck on a bad TV show for years)? No. When you were a child did you wish you were named something else? What sort of fantasy life did you imagine for yourself if you’d only had this other better name? Bro I shit you not, I wanted to change my name to "Dory" because of Finding Nemo, lmao. I never thought about how my life would be different, though. Are you a plant person? How do you feel about the trend of owning many, many houseplants? Nah, plant maintenance isn't for me. I don't care how many plants you own so long as you care for them. It seems pointless to buy plants and just neglect them. What are you sick of hearing about? Anti-vax bullshit. Do you wish that you had more followers on any platform? Do you even pay attention to how many likes/comments/followers you have? The only places I really care about that are my photography Facebook page and deviantART because ffs I TRY to make progress as a photographer lasdkfj;lawe but neither move very fast at all. Are you currently working on an art project? No. :/ I need to draw something for once. If applicable, what color are you planning to dye your hair next? I have three in mind: lilac, pastel pink, or silver. Do you have a sibling who looks like your twin? No. My older and younger sister look remarkably similar, though. People have confused them a lot. Do you think you'd make a good actor or actress? God no, I'd feel far too awkward. Do you believe you have a lot of potential? Ugh, I don't know, dude. Would you like to be rich and own a vacation home? Who wouldn't? Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? No. What eyeshadow color do you think looks best on you? Black. I only wear black. Do you shop in the girls, juniors, or women's section at the store? Women's. Do you play video games? I haven't played a game other than WoW in a long time. :/ I only have a PS2 and Wii, and most of the games I want to play are for newer generation consoles. Is your house more than two stories tall? It's not even two stories. Have you ever had the flu? No. *knocks on wood* Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No. I want tons of tats, but that sure isn't one of 'em. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. I'm one of those people that wants to eat right when I wake up. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, and some southwestern state where I can visit the desert and maybe see wild tarantulas. Countries: South Africa, Germany, Canada, and uhhhh idk. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No? Hugs can just be a friendly gesture. They don't have to have underlying romantic implications. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? Oh man, snowy days were the epitome of joy when I was a kid. The #1 thing I wanted to do was make a snowman with Dad and my sisters if the snow was the right texture to pack. We loved snowball fights, making snow angels, watching the cats play... and you CAN'T forget making sugary snow cream. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? No one that does hard drugs now, no. I honestly don't know how I'd respond to wanting to befriend a hardcore druggie... Like I'm totally aware drug addicts are not innately bad people, but it can be dangerous to associate with them. So idk. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Yes. I do NOT like being in hospitals. I've never been treated badly in one or anything, but I just have way, way too many ER memories from being suicidal and just stripped of everything that could somehow be interpreted as a "danger." Even books had to be approved. Technology of all kinds, forbidden. All I did was sleep on that godawful bed and wish I was dead. But I'm rambling; point is, I really don't like any health care establishment just because of negative memories. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No. We just don't. I wouldn't be opposed to knowing what he's up to. What do you like most about your favorite animal? Their loyalty and bravery are purely astonishing. Do you need a job? Yes. I'm a leech in my house. I serve no financial purpose to assist my mom in paying bills and all of that. I'm a full-grown adult that should be benefiting humanity. Who do you love the most in your life? My mom, cat, and best friend probably top the list. What is your mom doing right now? I hope she's asleep, but she tends to sleep very badly and is frequently tossing and turning around this time. Where does she work? She's on disability. For the type of cancer she had, she automatically got it with her diagnosis. It's recently been a year since her last chemo session, but let me tell you from witnessing it: It takes A LOT out of you. It was actually torturous for her. She's still regaining her strength and healing before she can wisely get another job. Do you have Netflix? Yeah. What was the last thing you quit doing? I don't know. Have you ever read a book that changed your life? No. Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Sara, if through text counts. Have you ever taken Xanax before? Yes; I was prescribed it for quite a while. Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? Try both, buddy.

#survey #surveys #random questions

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hockeysweetheart · 4 years

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Please Don’t kill me for this one.. Okay you prob will already.

Okay Yall are gonna hate me for this one.... But Because I listened to the people I made a few changes just minor ones because I don’t feel like being Murdered today or any day.. I was ready to send out something worse...

It’s the night Before their Wedding tho its with Someone who you might not think. But Twist and turns happen and Life happens. And they find themselves. Ex lovers return new Realtionships happen and all and all they find out how it their past mistakes made them stronger...

Also a Remider I am somewhat new at this... so it is a little rough...

He might be 7 years older then me but it’s doesn’t matter. I came here a few years ago to clear my head. As I was walking on the beach I ran into this guy. Never meant for anything to happen but it did. When I met him I fell for him Hard… I live in this place by the sea now. I don’t hear from him who is in my past… It got hard to travel form place to place so I moved here. He would visit me I’d visit him. As I look at my engagement ring I cannot help but think about him who I left behind so many years ago… Is he happy.. Is he Married… Does he have children? Not that it matters now… We have been going out for 3 years now. Tomorrow I will get in a white dress and walk down the beach to him. Look into those sea green eyes..

How we met I noticed a sea turtle took his hat and I rolled my eyes then I fell into the water such a klutz and he came over to make sure I was alright… From then something was there. He asked me out for dinner and I almost said no. But then I remembered I am single and there are plenty of fish in the sea no harm in going out after all I’ve been though I deserved it. To go out… He picked me up in his car and we went to The Ocean Blue restaurant He was a gentleman. He cleaned up nice to I’ll admit. We talked about what brought be here. I explained why… From then on I knew I was crazy about him. And also quiet a good looker.

He knocks on the door and enters my turns into A bright smile at him as he enters he says “ How is my Beautiful bride” and gives me a kiss. I Tell him “ Wonderful now that your here”. I was wearing a black dress and he makes a comment "You're absolutely terrifying me in that getup. What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses?” I smile brighter at him And say “ Don’t worry Tomorrow I’ll be unrecognizable”. And give him a hug…He whispers in my ear “ How did I ever get lucky to get you”. I Say “ I am only human Odair” and I give him a kiss… then The door opens and Johanna enters and says “ Getting to the honey moon before the wedding I see” I let go and give Johanna a hug and said “ Thanks for coming you really didn’t have to”…

“ Honey I’ve been there though your break up I wouldn’t miss your wedding day” Johanna says. Finnick says “I’ll let you two be I better go check on caterer Details… He leaves the room and Johanna says “ So Katniss have you told you know who” I look out the window and say “ No could never find the right words to say to Peeta about Finnick and Me. Plus I have no way to contact him”… Johanna just says “ Love is weird. But I am happy for you and Finnick”.. I frown and look at my ring “ Yeah I am pretty lucky to have him” I say.. Johanna says “ But your still thinking about Peeta, Honey you burned that bridge over 3 years ago, hes probably moved on too”… I Say “ Ya your right” .. Then there was a knock at the door.. Madge and Delly and Prim came in… “ Were here ready for a wedding” They all squeal. I said “ Well okay we better get ready for dinner tonight” The dinner is amazing we do some last minute prep and I go to bed Tomorrow will Wake up as Katniss Everdeen and Go to bed as Katniss Odair…

For the day Finnick Hired the Photographer the Caterer the Stylist for me. When I walk into my bridal suite I find my friend Cinna is here to do my hair and Makeup for the Day My Brides maids arrive… we all get ready… About time to get are pictures taken and the Photographer knocks on the door. I am shocked when I see the face is Gale Hawthorne… He is just as shocked as I am...to see him, But as a pro he says “ Miss Everdeen your due for your Pictures”. I say in a voice. “ You must be the photographer nice to meet you I’m the Bride Katniss and you are”… He smiles a little and says “ Well I Had that coming didn’t I”… Its everything not to slap him I think.. I say “ Well were all ready”… We get our photos done and go and wait for the time for the wedding to start. Johanna tries to get the tea I brush it off… We didn’t want to see each other until I was walking down the aisle…

When it is time My Father comes to my side kisses my cheek and says “ You look beautiful” Then the doors open up and I start the walk down the Aisle and see my groom. He smiles sheds a tear. And my father gives me away to him … We exchange our vows, Put on the rings Signed the papers. and kissed and were announced and Mrs and Mr Finnick Odair. We Walked out got some couple pictures ( I might of made sure to look extra in love with Finnick). Then we went into our reception…. The food was amazing we did our first dance speeches happened it was all perfect…

Then they wheeled out the cake I knew the second they wheeled it out who hand crafted this Cake… Peeta Mellark… I whip around and see him looking at me his face is not happy or angry or sad or Shocked … But almost a mix of everything… I Freeze in the moment and Johanna whispers in my ear “ Cut the cake first then I’ll cover for you” We cut the cake feed each other… Peeta is glaring at me the entire time. I tell Finnick “I need to go to the bathroom I’ll be right back” my brides Maids start to follow and Johanna says “ I’ll go hold her dress while she pees its fine”…. We go in the direction of the bathrooms and turn to a corner. Peeta meets us there. Johanna says “ Well I’ll leave you two to talk”. Peeta says “ Hey” I say “ Hey” Back His voice cracks when he says “ you look nice”…. Then It’s silent for a while then I break the ice and ask “ Did you know I was his bride is that why you agreed to make the cake”… Peeta says “ Nope Finnick called and said I wanted the best for my wife. I wouldn’t dream it would be you”. I suddenly say “ You never called me back”… Peeta says “ I know I am sorry I was stuck not knowing what to do”… I Say “ Well its a little late now” He whispers quietly “ I know, Listen he is lucky to have you anyone would be”. A smile escapes me and I say “ You too, I am sorry it didn’t work Between us”… He says “ We could try to be friends but you need to stop looking at me like I’m wounded and keeping stuff from each other” I say with a grin “ I’d like that”…I can tell Peeta is thinking if he should tell me something or not…I tell him I can take it since were friends now. He says so quiet I almost don’t hear it. “ I have a girlfriend”. I say “ What ?” …He said “ Yeah it happened suddenly” I ask “ Well who is it?”. All the sudden she hears a voice that says “ Surprise” Johanna Mason who comes in and hugs him. I look at both of them shocked and say these next words slowly “ You… two … are … Together?”...Peeta says “ She crept up on me, But hey you got Finnick who your married to know and I got Johanna both Happy right..” Fighting back anger I say “ Yeah guess we are all happy around I better get Back Finnick will be wondering where I am”. I got back to our table and see Johanna and Peeta walk back in hand in hand in the corner of my eye. Finnick Startles me when he whispers in my ear “ I got a little worried when you took so long that you ran off with your ex or something”… I tell him “ No I only got eyes for you”. And kiss him… Then my sister makes a toast “ To Katniss and Finnick this beautiful couple on this wonderful day.” We dance the night away but at the back of my mind I have one thought Peeta with Johanna…

The next morning I wake up to Finnick beside me… He’s still asleep does everyone look younger asleep. He wakes up and gives me a smile and pulls me in for a long kiss … After it’s done he says “ good morning to my beautiful wife”…I say “ good morning.. did you sleep good?”… Finnick said “ Prob my best sleep yet knowing your here”… I say “ what do you want to do today Finny?” He says into his pillow “ Spend every possible moment with you” I roll my eyes and say “ Well we better get up then”…. We go to our kitchen to get breakfast… Finnick pours me tea and asks in a seductive voice. “ Want a sugar cube?”. I smile because this is how we met when I ordered tea on our first date. And I finish “ I heard it improves the taste.” That gets a smile out of him…

We leave for our honey moon today we are going to a tour of the districts. I get on the train hand in hand with Finnick.. He scoops me up and carries me though the train doors. We walk to our room in the train… He drops me on the bed and comes on beside me and starts to kiss me slowly… when I wake up and day light is breaking… our clothes are still on the floor .. Finnick is still out cold… I just cannot stop looking at him...Hes beautiful hair… his strong body… When he wakes up he does what he always does smiles and says “ good morning to my beautiful wife”… I return it. As always… He doesn’t have to say anything about last night because it’s not like we’ve not done it before. That smile is all I need to remind myself how much I love him. We get dressed and head to the dinning hall for breakfast hand in hand… Then he pulls out my chair for me to sit down and he sits right beside me.. That's when I noticed him looking at me… and this Time he is not alone. Some sort of sound escapes me and Finnick give me a look then see’s him to and say’s “oh and says want to go back to our room”.. I tell him “ No it’s fine plus I am hungry anyways”. He gives me a quick kiss and said “ Well my lady I’ll go get you some food” I laugh because hes just silly… When he returns Peeta and Johanna come over to our table and say “ Hello”… I hope he doesn’t notice my wrinkle clothes which is stupid since I am married… I say “ Hello you two traveling to 7 or 12?” Johanna answers “7 I want to show Peeta where I am from”… Finnick Chimes in “ You’ll like 7 I’ve been there myself when I was on a research project a few years back”. I glare at him even tho he said nothing wrong… I then ask “ So how long have you two been together for I forgot to ask the other day?” Peeta says “ Six months”… “ and you two are already sleeping together?” I say giving my self away… Peeta gives me a look to shut up but say’s slowly but clear as day “ We are taking it slow don’t want to rush into things”… Johanna and Finnick just give each other a look… The whole situation is uncomfortable for everyone. Finnick says “ Johanna have you seen the windows in the end train?” Johanna says “ But I am enjoying this”… Finnick gives her a look and she says “ Fine I’ll go” and loud whispers in Peeta’s ear “ I want to hear how this ends”… After they leave it’s awkward quiet between us and I think what happened we used to be madly in love… I guess things change and people change as well. He breaks the silence “ I thought we agreed to be friends this is not how friends act”… He’s right this is not how friends act at all… I say in a low voice “ I am sorry but the fact your dating my good friend and announce it at my wedding I got a little offended”… with the smirk I know well he says “ A little but we did agree to be open with each other”. Hes right we did… as always his words speak a thousand more then being said… he says “ I’ll tell you as my friend I think Johanna is the one.. I want to marry her”… A bit shocked I say “ She’s will be lucky to have you”.. Peeta looks me in the eye and says “ So your okay with if I ask her to marry me” I say “ Of course I just saw finnick in his underwear… and more I am a married women after all,.. You have my blessing. But you really didn’t need to ask me”… Peeta smiles “ I know but I knew I could count on you”… Little does he know I keep the pearl he gave me so many years ago in my pocket to always keep him with me…

When I finish my Breakfast Finnick Appears and says “ were almost at District 7 we could skip it if you want… “ I say “ No it’s alright” and smile at Peeta across the room “ We are going to be okay”… we go from District to district and return home in 4. And Finnick goes back to work and I start working in a coffee shop…We do this everyday… then one of the day’s I feel ill. I pass out at the coffee shop I am rushed to the hospital Finnick gets word and is by my side every second… I am there… The doctor comes in with a smile on his face and say’s “well Katniss and Finnick congrats your going to be parents”… I was beyond shocked because I never planned on having children. But Finnick hugs me puts his hand on where our baby is growing… We go home and Finnick is treating me like I am glass will break at any moment it’s kinda cute actually… Peeta has been sending me updates he said he will wait a year until he asks Johanna to marry him… I haven’t told him I am expecting yet I am waiting for the right time to do it… We find out we are having a girl… On October 3rd I give birth to a beautiful baby girl with her fathers green eyes and my hair colour named Olivia Paige Odair. We are beyond happy to be parents to her… I get a letter in the mail shorty after her birth… Its from Peeta It says

“ Dear Katniss I know about the baby, Finnick told me. I am so happy for you.. I am sure she is Beautiful like her mother and have quality's like her father. I come to write you to Let you Know Johanna and I decided not to get engaged not yet. We are still together but not ready for that step… Also I’ll be in District 4 in mid November Hope we can meet up and I can meet that beautiful baby of yours. She is lucky to have parents like you two...Hope I am not a burden for us to meet up but I would really like to talk to you in person…”

I write back

“ Dear Peeta Her Name is Olivia Paige she is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen But I’d prob say the same thing of all my children. We are doing well here. And Sorry that it’s not time for you and Johanna but you will some day find that time. I would love to meet up with you when your in I work at the coffee shop in the district. And of course you can meet her… we’d be happy to put you in a room while you stay…”

Mid November Peeta arrives to District 4… A lot has happened since I wrote that Letter… We meet at the coffee shop. Even tho we might not be in a relationship when he comes I give him a hug. So I ask him how things are going and he says “ Johanna and I broke up.” I said “Oh I am sorry”… he continues “ Better now then down the road… when we get married have kids or something”.. That hit me like a ton of bricks. By the look in his eyes He instantly knew what happened and says “ I am sorry Katniss”. … Me almost in tears “ I say it’s okay I figured out he was not the one for me better now then years down the road”…Peeta reaches out and holds my hand. As a whip away a tear I say “ Oh Olivia here she is we agreed to co parent her. He moved out 2 weeks ago, he is taking her tonight for me”. Peeta stays silent while holding Olivia. I say “ Sorry for crying” Peeta says “ Don’t be we have all been though a lot. There is that perfect guy out there for you… I nod and agree and I say “ I should get Olivia home for her Nap.. Do you wanna come over now”.. He says “ Sure” and Puts Olivia back in her stroller

We walk out of the coffee shop Hand and Hand. And on the way back to my house Peeta did something unexpected tho. He kisses me and says “ I never forgotten how that feels like” I kiss him back and said “ Me either”… I drop off Olivia at Finnicks and We somehow end up in my bed at my house and it felt like we never left each other. Peeta says “ I never stopped loving you” I kiss him.. The clothes on us end up on the floor… It feels like such a luxury, sleeping with Peeta again. I didn't realize until now how starved I've been for human closeness. For the feel of him beside me in the darkness. I wish I hadn't wasted the last couple of years shutting him out. I sink down into sleep, enveloped in his warmth, and when I open my eyes again, daylight's streaming through the windows. When we Wake the Next morning He says “ I forgot what a real sleep felt like” and I kiss him give him a long kiss it feels so good. We just lay there for a while not talking just taking it in…. We get up eventually and have breakfast together… It feels like the old days of just us… But then I realize I have a child so those days of just us are over but I can enjoy him all I want on days she’s over at her fathers. Peeta moves in eventually. We decided to get Married.. Finnick says it’s like this was meant to be this way anyways. I knew this would of happened anyways. I just got lost along the way. So on one those nights it was just me and Peeta alone I whisper in his ear. “You ready to be a daddy?” Peeta looks at me confused at first then he gets it and whispered “ of course”. And gives me a kiss.

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hedwigstalons · 4 years

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High Expectations - Ch15

Yup, this beast is still going and still growing. Life sapped my energy so it has been a lot longer between updates than I would have liked but I’ve been experimenting with writing out of sequence to make use of whatever creativity I can grasp. The plus side of this is that ch16 is in the editing stages and ch17 is also half written. But anyway....it’s taken a while but here is ch15 in the saga that has become affectionately termed ‘Bad Jeff’.

@willow-salix has been wonderful at helping be fix the plot holes and pick out the parts where I contradicted myself. I now have a proper timeline though (funky multicoloured spreadsheet and everything) so I shouldn’t tie myself in knots so much with the boys ages and milestones.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Fifteen

The incoming call notification had Virgil scrambling for his phone, fumbling with the handset while trying to swipe a call accept icon that suddenly seemed too small and fiddly to be practical. It took him three hasty attempts before managing to complete the action correctly, allowing him to finally speak to the brother who had been frustratingly out of contact. Scott had been in LA for three days and Virgil was now desperate for news but he had promised he wouldn’t interfere lest he call at the wrong moment and inflame matters further. It had been a nail-biting wait, forcing himself to be patient and trust Scott to call when he could.

“Scott, how is it?” It took him a moment to register that the face on the screen wasn’t Scott’s despite what the caller ID proclaimed. “Gordon?” He was surprised to see a younger brother rather than an older one.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me.” There was an air of the old teasing Gordon making a slow return.

“Sorry. Of course I’m pleased to see you,” and he genuinely was, the face that looked back at him was still too thin and pale for comfort but the hair was clean again and the eyes had lost their haunted glaze, “I just wasn’t expecting it. Where’s Scott?”

“He’s here too.” The scene on Virgil’s screen shifted quickly as the handset at the other end was spun round to reveal its rightful owner who gave a little wave. “He said he was going to call you so I asked if I could go first.”

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m....okay.” Virgil had made him promise in the past not to lie about how he was feeling, it was one of the reasons he had been pulling away; it didn’t count as lying if you just omitted the truth. “It’s been a strange few days.”

“I’ll bet.”

“For a start I’ve found out that flyboy over there gets ever so twitchy if anyone else is at the controls of a plane. You’d best hope you never have to take him as a passenger in that bumble bee of yours if it ever gets off the drawing board. Or was it more like a turtle, that beast was green wasn’t it?” The look of fear that crossed Virgil’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so genuine and Gordon was given the sudden reminder that, as far as Virgil was concerned, he wasn’t meant to know about their father’s vision. He was quick with his reassurances. “It’s okay, Dad told me about his rescue plans”

“He still won’t tell Alan though” Scott called out from across the room, “Dad has taken him out to fetch ice cream so we can talk freely for a few minutes.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah, I think he’s just trying to cover some of his own guilt. He’s still no Dad of the year though.” Scott's tone was derisive and Virgil could tell that tensions must still be running high. “He’s going to have to tell him sooner or later, he can’t just spring it on the kid that he is being dragged out of school and shunted across the world when the island move happens.”

“What, you mean like he gave us time to prepare for the move to LA?” Gordon snorted. “I don’t know about you guys but me and Alan didn’t exactly get much warning when we left Kansas.”

This surprised the older two who had known all about the plan, the many arguments were etched in their memories. In this case the problem child had been John. Scott had been making the transition from university to the Air Force and Virgil had been busy preparing for his studies at Denver but John had been on a path that didn’t align with their father’s business plans. The fifteen year old, with a coveted place at Harvard nearly in his grasp, had begged to stay so he could finish high school without interruptions; he had worked hard to stay two grades ahead of the curve and an inter-state move could undo it all. Of course letting John live alone had been out of the question, and Jeff had not been prepared to delay the move, leading to flares of temper and defiance that none of them had realised the middle child was capable of. It was only when Grandma stepped in, offering to return from New Mexico to become custodian of the farm and care for John during that final year that their father relented. With all of the concerns over John and his university dreams it hadn’t occurred to either of them that the youngest two hadn’t been told about the move. Evidently their father’s policy of ‘need to know’ was long running.

“Don’t worry Gords, Scott and I will make sure that Alan gets told. If Dad’s idea happens, and knowing Dad it probably will, Alan won’t just have another move sprung on him. I promise.” There was sincere honesty in those deep brown eyes and Gordon gave a subtle nod of thanks. “So tell me everything that has been happening over the last few days.”

Gordon recounted everything that had happened since Scott’s arrival, prompted by said older brother if he missed anything out. Virgil winced at the revelations. Even with the sanitised highlights he could tell that the last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster. In some cases the revelations were beyond his worst fears and he couldn’t help feeling proud of his little brother who had been living through harder circumstances than any of them had imagined.

“Which brings us to today,” Gordon brought the tale up to the present, “Dad’s decided I need to learn to fly seeing as this island he’s chosen isn’t exactly on the commercial air routes. Alan’s going to start learning too; Dad wasn’t happy about that idea but Scott reminded him that he started learning at Alan’s age. You should have seen him up there, Alan is an absolute natural.” Gordon’s voice glowed with pride at the achievements of his little brother.

“You didn’t do badly yourself” Scott cut in from across the room.

“So why were your knuckles white the whole time?”

“Hey, as you said, I just like being the one in control. It was no different when Dad was piloting and he’s clocked up more flight hours than the rest of us put together.”

“I can just imagine it” Virgil snorted, “you should’ve seen him supervising John when he was learning to drive.”

Gordon glanced across at Scott who had visibly paled at the memory, before turning his attention back to Virgil. “So yeah, I’ve now got to fit in pilot training and exams around getting back up to strength for WASP selection.”

“And WASP is definitely what you want? You aren’t just going along with it so you can get away from Dad? I know you’ll be able to do it, but please don’t enlist unless you’re really sure.”

Gordon wasn’t sure if that was the concerned older brother or the family pacifist speaking; WASP was still military after all and Virgil had made no secrets of his thoughts in that direction. But equally Virgil knew how stubborn he was and how he would never back down from a challenge and had managed to resolve his difference with Scott over the Air Force so he chalked the questions up to brotherly concern.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s a good life Virg, something I can really make a career out of and the opportunities for officers…”

“Officer?” This definitely surprised the distant sibling. The widened eyes elicited a slight blush from Gordon.

“Um, yeah, that was Scott’s idea.” He was still having a little trouble reconciling himself to the notion that he was cut out to lead.

“Not just my idea” said brother called out from his perch on the bed, “the Marineville lot wanted to transfer you to officer training too. This time round you’ll just be applying for the officer steam from the beginning.”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Gordon shot Scott a glare of mock indignation, earning a chuckle from Virgil “it’s a good life. And yes, this time I’ll be trying out as an officer. I’ll have to redo the aptitude tests, different benchmarks and all that, but we’ve been looking into it and my scores were already at the right level. There’s just one additional aptitude test for officers that I never took before. I’ve tried an online practice test and did ok so I should be alright. I’m booked in to take it for real in a fortnight. After that it’s selection at Marineville again and then hopefully I’m in. It’ll take a few months but by the summer I should have my first posting. The officer intakes don’t happen as frequently as junior ranks so I’ve got time to train.”

“You seem to have it all mapped out and not a college course in sight.”

“Nope. Thanks, both of you. It’s...it’s been a hard few months and I couldn’t see a way out of it all.”

There was a noticeable slump in Gordon’s posture and the light went out of his eyes as the memories of his recent trials flooded back in. It broke Virgil’s heart to see how on a knife edge his brother still was and he knew he and Scott would need to keep a close eye on their younger sibling for a long while yet. At least Gordon had a goal to work towards again; they both knew his steely determination and drive to succeed. Once he had set his sights on a challenge nothing would stop him, the Olympics had proved that.

“Any time. And don’t be a stranger. If Dad starts getting on your case again or you just need to talk to someone you know where I am. I’ve been told my couch is pretty comfy too if this new schedule of training and flying lessons allows you any time off.”

“Admit it, you just want me back for my cooking” Gordon smirked.

“Maybe…” Virgil gave his best puppy dog eyes, eliciting a chuckle from both his brothers.

Any further chatter was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door crashing open, announcing the return of Jeff and Alan from the grocery store, followed by Alan’s shouts that if they didn’t get out there quick there would be no chocolate chip left for them. Both knew better than to treat this as an idle threat so with a hurried goodbye to Virgil they departed to claim their portions.

xoxoxox

Life soon settled into a new routine. Jeff still rarely made it back for dinner, they couldn’t expect miracles over night, but he was getting better at being home before Alan went to bed at least. Gordon suspected that had something to do with the ‘discussion’ Scott had with Jeff the night before he returned to his Air Force base. The voices that drifted through the firmly shut study door had shown a flare of temper from both sides and Gordon had been grateful Alan was already in bed and so not around to witness the argument. It was just as well Tracys were good at putting on a front, by the morning of Scott’s departure the tension had been firmly suppressed and Alan had been able to say goodbye to his eldest brother without any hint of bad feeling spoiling the moment.

Where life before the Olympics had been a mix of school and swimming, so life for Gordon going forwards became a mix of physical training and flight theory with time in the air thrown in at the weekends. He passed the WASP officer aptitude test easily enough but the next available selection course date wasn’t until after his birthday, leaving him with several months to focus on gaining the appropriate endorsements on his pilot’s licence to allow him to transport himself to and from his father’s intended island base.

Gordon wasn’t bad at flying but he didn’t possess the raw natural talent of his youngest sibling. He was competent and thorough with a steady hand but he couldn’t miss the looks of pride Jeff directed towards Alan as yet again the youngest of the family performed a manoeuvre as if he had been at the control yoke since birth. It didn’t stop at looks either, all too often Gordon found himself on the receiving end of an unfavourable comparison only this time it was against his younger brother as opposed to his older ones and the arena was cockpit rather than classroom performance. Evidently, for Jeff, old habits were hard to quell.

This time though Gordon wasn’t facing his troubles alone. Scott would check in with him occasionally until an overseas posting took him out of contact but Virgil was his real lifeline. Virgil made sure there was never more than a week between calls and often the gaps were smaller if he sensed Gordon slipping back and becoming more distant. The brother who had taken on the role of counselor seemed to have an uncanny intuition when it came to Gordon’s mood.

The extended time around his father however was still proving difficult and Gordon found himself eagerly boarding a flight to Denver to catch a much needed break.

As ever, Virgil was there to meet him at the airport.

“Good flight?”

“It was ok.”

“Not tempted to crash the cockpit then?”

Gordon just rolled his eyes and carried on out to the taxi ranks. To his surprise though Virgil directed the cab to take them to the smaller private airfield out of town rather than the apartment.

“Sorry Gords” he got in response to his querying look. “You know Dad said you gotta keep up your air time and this was the only runway slot I could get.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal.” One of the conditions of a weekend with Virgil was that he got some time in the sky to make up for the lesson he was missing with his father. “Are you alright with me taking up your baby?”

“I trust you” Virgil shrugged. He wasn’t quite as in love with and overprotective of his plane as Scott was of his, but neither was he going to let on to Gordon that he had had a long and in depth discussion with their father about Gordon’s ability and competence before he had agreed to help with Gordon’s pilot education.

Gordon always thought it odd that Virgil had a plane but didn’t bother to run his own car, although the longer he spent in the air the more he could see the appeal. Scott of course had always loved flight and it was no surprise to anyone that a big proportion of his allowance went on maintaining a craft that screamed billionaire playboy. Virgil’s choice was more subtle and practical, if operating your own private plane counted as practical; perfect for hopping around the country from his central base in Denver to visit family on his own schedule. Despite also being in possession of big enough allowance to afford it John had neither car nor plane having declared that flying commercial was much more sensible for his main coast to coast journey and he wasn’t one for pleasure flying; he was much more interested in what lay outside the atmosphere, far beyond the reach of a mere plane.

At the airfield Virgil maneuvered his little hopper out of the hanger he stored her in and then passed control over to Gordon.

“Go on then, show me what you can do” Virgil prompted after giving Gordon a quick rundown of the specific take off speed and other essential details he would need to operate the plane safely. He settled back in the co-pilot's chair, exuding a calm confidence despite itching to keep his hands on the controls; Gordon might be his brother and Jeff had given assurances that all would be well but Virgil was still uncomfortably aware that he has supervising an unlicensed novice pilot.

His fears were soon dispelled once Gordon started going through the motions in textbook fashion including performing his own pre-flight checks despite having watched those same checks being performed just a few minutes earlier. A short burst down the runway and they were up in the air. It wasn’t graceful and Gordon lacked the finesse that came with experience but Virgil was pleasantly surprised at the amount of progress Gordon had made in such a short space of time.

The problem with flying though is that unless you are practicing something like aerobatics then just keeping a plane in the air is actually pretty easy, it’s the take off and landing that takes skill. They weren’t making a journey so there was no real navigation to do beyond avoiding the restricted airspace and corridors used by the commercial flights and the weather was clear so flying by instruments was unnecessary. All in all it was a thoroughly untaxing lesson, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time together.

“So how’s your project going?” Gordon asked as he banked to avoid flying directly over a village.

“It’s okay. I’m on track to be done by the summer.”

“What will you do after that? Move back to LA or stay out here?”

“Neither, hopefully.” Gordon gave his brother a questioning glance of surprise. “Got to get space rated for Dad’s project. Me and John’ll be heading out to Tracy College for that, just waiting for confirmation of a course place.”

“Space rated?” He had realised John would need to undergo astronaut training in preparation for life on a space station but most of the project specifics were still a mystery to him.

“Yeah. Someone’s got to be able to play taxi service for John and I might need to take a rotation on call monitoring; he can’t live off planet forever.”

“Sounds like plans are really coming together for it. Does this mean Scott will need to get space rated at Tracy College too?”

“Scott…” There was a heavy pause and Gordon took his eye off the sky to regard his brother. Virgil’s brow had furrowed into a frown and when he spoke again there was a heaviness that told of hidden arguments. “Scott isn’t joining, he’s sticking to the Air Force.”

This surprised Gordon. In the few conversations he had had with his father about the project, usually confined to a cockpit where Alan couldn’t overhear, Scott was talked about like Virgil was, as a committed member of the team. His role as first responder and pilot of the envisioned rocket plane had been presented in terms of undisputed fact. No wonder the topic made Virgil look stormy, he was a peacemaker and if Scott wasn’t fitting in with their father’s vision Gordon could imagine that the arguments had been many and explosive.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen there? Surely you can’t manage with just the three of you?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to think there is a contingency plan but Dad seems so sure Scott’s going to change his mind and do it. They’re both as stubborn as mules though and neither wants to give up their dream. It’s a good project, the tech looks amazing and we could really save lives. I can see Scott’s point though, he’s made a life for himself away from Dad and, well, you know yourself what Dad can be like for giving orders.”

Gordon knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those orders, particularly when they were at odds with your own plans. At least Scott had the advantage of physical distance as a buffer to the disapproval and if push came to shove, if Jeff cut Scott off as punishment, the Air Force pay was enough to live on even if it meant Scott had to change his lifestyle to suit the lower budget.

Gordon made the final approach back towards the airfield, diverting the full attention of both brothers to monitoring the landing. As with the take off it wasn’t polished and it wasn’t pretty but it was safe and Virgil found himself once again admiring just how far his brother had come in such a short space of time. He wondered if, given time, Gordon would join the team. Jeff hadn’t made any mention of Gordon taking on a role in the rescue organisation, even if he was now allowed to know of its existence, but there was no denying that having an extra pilot on books could only be a good thing. Maybe one day he and Gordon would fly together, the more time he spent with his brother the more he enjoyed the company although, Virgil reflected, if they were to fly as a team he would be happier if Gordon took the co-pilot’s position.

With the plane back on the ground and safely returned to her berth in the hangers Virgil pushed all thoughts of Gordon joining the rescue business out of his mind; unless their father issued the instruction there was no point even considering the option. And anyway, Gordon was heading off to the military like Scott had so who knew if he would even want to join the project. Better to just let their father know that the required flying lesson had gone without a hitch then settle back to enjoy the weekend.

#High Expectations #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Gordon Tracy #Jeff Tracy #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #brothers looking out for each other #military careers

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1110

survey by evening-hush

Can you drive yet? Tell me what you think about it: I love being able to know how to do it. It’s super convenient and I appreciate how it allows me to travel on my own time and schedule.

What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? When it comes to learning history, it’s not really so much a certain period I like reading about but rather the sub-topic under it. That said, I like learning about social history the most. I’d much rather learn about the recipes people used to make than the weapons they used in war, or who conquered which lands.

What's the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? It unfortunately makes for somewhat frequent news here, but I always hear of news clips covering discarded fetuses - and sometimes even days-old infants - located in a trash bin. It makes me infuriated too, but for the most part it’s heartbreaking.

Describe what your smile looks like: I think I have quite a cheery smile. I just get insecure sometimes because of my teeth, but most of the time I like to smile big and have it look genuine.

What colors do you associate with all of the four seasons? As someone from a country that doesn’t actually get to experience any of the four seasons, here’s what I think of each: winter is white, summer is sky blue/yellow, spring is yellow/pink, and fall is maple-ish/orange.

In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Erm, probably those deep-sea creatures that look more like rocks than fish.

Don't you think old people are awesome? I think most Baby Boomers suck, but there are some rare gems out there, I guess.

What is your favorite day of the week? Why? Friday, of course. Reaching the end of the day, knowing there’s a full weekend ahead of me, feels super relieving and freeing.

What time do you usually get to sleep at night? It varies. On weekdays I’ll sleep anywhere between 9-11 PM; and more recently, for weekends, I’ve been trying to stay up until midnight or beyond because I want to be able to catch up on the hobbies I don’t get to do on weekdays.

When you text, do you use text lingo? If it’s with a friend, yes. Never with a client or anyone I’m communicating with for official work purposes.

Oh! What's your name? Robyn.

Who would you cast to play you in a movie? I guess the obvious choice would be Vanessa Hudgens since she’s Filipina?? but idk. It would be neat to have someone as badass as Florence Pugh or Emma Stone to play me, though.

If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why? I’d shake it up and pick some random, obscure, perhaps unremarkable decade like the 1570s. Just so I have absolutely no clue what to expect.

What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Manipulation of thoughts/emotions. It’s not the most ethical, but that’s not what we’re talking about here lmao.

Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or...? I believe everyone can have their own truth when it comes to love.

What natural disaster scares you the most? Earthquakes.

Why are you best friends with your best friend? She just gets me, I guess. We get along very well, our humors match perfectly, but most of all she’s patient with me and I’ve always been able to see that she genuinely cares about me.

What quirk bothers you the most about other people? People are so quick to cancel others these days; it’s amusing to watch people enthusiastically pick fights over just about anything.

Would you ever marry for money? The idea itself is attractive, but I’m not sure I would actually push through with it. I think I have to love someone should I ever marry them.

What is one of the toughest things you have ever had to do? Move on with my life. Acknowledge the ugly emotions and acknowledge that I’m not doing ok.

What outrageous career could you see yourself wanting to do? This is outrageous for me, but modeling. The career itself is not strange, but I used to want to be a runway model in my early teens and it’s funny to look back on now.

Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? No.

What song lyrics best reflect your personality? Idk about personality, but right now, “Why do memories glow the way real moments don’t?” is super relevant to my life at the moment.

In what way would you want to help change the world? Being one with marginalized groups in their various fights and causes.

Do you think it is important to tell the truth or spare someone's feelings? It depends on the gravity of the situation, I guess? Like white lies are fine, but in more serious situations it’s always better to tell the truth. I remember that when my great-aunt died last year, all her siblings made it a point not to inform their brother (my great-uncle) who recently had a heart surgery and was thus very vulnerable and could possibly have an attack if he ever found out. They kept it from him for nearly the entire year and it drooooove meeeeee nutsssssssss. I suppose it was understandable for the first few days, but when those days turned to several months, I started to wish they’d tell him sooner because I felt like it would be a lot worse once he learned she’d been dead since the start of the year. Anyway, I was recently informed he knew about it already and I never heard drama come out of it, so I guess it was dealt with well.

What is the most awkward moment you have ever had to endure? Ugh, probably that time an online delivery arrived at home and it was a fucking vibrator/dildo meant for my parents.

When driving down the road looking for an address do you turn the radio low? Hahahaha yessss.

Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? Risotto.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your closet? Why? My mom jeans. It’s a classic look that always works, plus it’s super comfy.

What do you think of when you look at the stars? Looking up at the stars means I’m thinking hard. It gets me in a reflective mood.

If you could say ONE THING to the president, what would it be? Ughhhh fuck you get your presidency over with already we are all fucking tired.

What is your favorite kind of weather? As long as it’s chilly I’m happy.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Both, I guess?

What's one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Travel to a different continent.

What Disney princess are you most like? Personality wise, I mean. Ariel was such a hopeless romantic and reckless and dumb when it came to love, so let’s go with her.

Tell me about your worst fashion mistake: I was a late bloomer and let my mom buy my clothes for me at ages where I definitely should’ve already stopped doing so.

Do you believe in astrology? No.

Do you look into people's eyes when you talk to them? Not always.

You can have one of the following two things: trust or love. Pick one. Don’t they come together though? If I love someone it means I trust them?? But it’s whatever. I’ll go with trust.

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? Yeah, I think I’m thoughtful and I like that I’m good at remembering small details about my friends. I’d love a friend like that.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you don't love them? Probably that I don’t. I’ve never had to do it before, either.

What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Self-satisfaction.

What did you think about this survey thingy? :] Nice roster of random questions! I personally enjoyed it.

#survey #surveys

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fabuloustrash05 · 4 years

Text

Courting a Salamandrian

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Words: 3634

Warnings: Some sensitive topics discussed, but nothing major

Author’s Note: This took way longer than I expected and I apologizes for that. My plan has been to have a new chapter out ever two months and I’m hoping I can keep up on that schedule but I recently started my second semester of college and I want to focus more on my school work so we will have to see where this all goes. Hopefully I can stay on schedule. Anyway, enjoy chapter 4! XD

~~~~~

Chapter 4: Future In-law

The four brothers enter the lab to retrieve breathers. Their focus is the same: they need to go to Dimension X to borrow a ship from the Utrom. Then, they can fly to Salamandria to see Sal Commander.

Donnie goes to his desk and opens one of the drawers. He pulls out a small piece of tech.

“Woah, isn’t that the portal thingy for Dimension X?” Mikey half whispers-half squeals as he leans on Donnie’s shoulders.

“It’s not a thingy,” Donnie said. “The Utrom council gave me a portal generator to their base, so I have easier access to them and their laboratory. This way, I can go to their world anytime I wish.”

Donnie presses a small button on the portal generator. It begins to glow. The generator floats off Donnie’s hand and hovers above the brothers, as a triangle-shaped portal appears, glowing pink.

“Everyone have their breathers?” Leo asked.

They all nod, strapping on the apparatus that will help them survive alien atmospheres.

“Well, here goes nothing,” Raph says as he enters the portal, his brothers following close behind him.

As the Turtles exit the portal one by one, they find themselves in the Utrom lab.

“The Turtle Warriors!” a surprised voice exclaims. The brothers turn to see Rook. She is alone in the lab, working on her computer. She jumps up from her seat and hurries over to the Turtles to greet them.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you here -- but you're not scheduled for another meeting with the council …. um, for another month.”

“Rook! Perfect, just the Utrom I wanted to see!” Donnie says as he walks up to her,

“Donatello! Have you finally changed your mind about the Queen’s offer?” Rook asked.

“N-no.” Donnie answered.

“What offer?” Leo asked as Donnie’s two other brothers looked at him confused.

Donnie looked at his brothers and sighed, “The Utrom Queen offered me a position in her council. To become ‘Knight’.” His brothers stood there shocked, “but I already told the Queen that I’m not interested.”

“I understand, Donatello, but remember the offer is always open. The council would be lucky to have someone as brilliant as you.” Rook smiled at him.

“Thank you, but my answer is still no.”

Donnie’s brothers looked at him surprised that he turned down such an offer. It's a dream come true for him, yet he said “No.” Why?

“My brothers and I came here because we need to borrow one of the Utrom ships,” Donnie continued.

Rook looks at the Turtle confused, “Why so?”

“That’s for us to know and you to find out,” Raph rudely says. Donnie rolls his eyes. Raphael has been in Dimension X for five seconds and is already getting impatient.

Leo jabs at Raph giving him an annoyed look that tells him to behave.

“We need one for a quick personal mission,” Donnie explains. “Can you please give us one? We’ll bring it back undamaged, like it was never taken.”

Rook sighed “Look, Donatello, as much as I would like to help you and your brothers and lend you a ship, I cannot allow that. Bishop will not be happy knowing you borrowed a ship without his consent. And besides, we have rules. If you want a ship you need to go through some paper--”

“Oh! If I knew you four were coming I would have cleaned up the lab a little,” a kind voice said entering the room.

The Turtles turn to the voice. They see a robot in white, with gray and brown metal patches covering parts of his body. The robot smiles at the Turtles.

“Fugitoid!” The brothers shout, smiling, as they walk up their old friend to greet him.

“It’s been too long!” Mikey laughs.

“How’s that new body treating you?” Donnie asked.

“Oh, perfectly fine, thanks to you, Donatello, and your friend Rockwell. So, what's with this you needing a ship? Planning on going somewhere?”

“He said it’s for them to know and for us to find out,” Rook said, pointing at Raph.

Raph rolls his eyes and groans.

“Impatient, aren’t you, Raphael?” Fugitoid asked, “Does this have something to do with you?”

“What's with all the questions? Can you just give us a ship!?” Raph complained.

“Calm down, Raphael! I may not be as together as I used to be, but my smacking hand still packs a punch,” says Fugitoid as he lifts his left hand and twirls it in Raphael’s direction.

“Sorry,” Raph sighs. “Look, I just need to get to Salamandria to see Sal Commander. That's it.”

“Does this have something to do with Y’gythgba?” Fugitoid wondered aloud.

Raph blushes. He can’t help it, even when he hears her name. Mona Lisa. Y'gythgba. It doesn’t matter. Both names sound equally beautiful to him. Raph nods.

“Is something wrong with her?” Fugitoid asks, worried, “Is she alright?”

“No, she’s fine,” said Leo. “Raph just wants--” Leo looks at Raph, remembering his brother’s wish to not tell anyone what he’s planning, unless it came for him. “...Nevermind.”

“Raphael,” Fugitoid said kindly, “If it’s something urgent then I must know… I’m your friend. You can trust me.”

Raph sighed and looked at Fugitoid. He knows that in order to accomplish his task, he must learn to trust his friends with his heart’s secret.

“I want to ask Sal for his blessing, so I can ask Mona to marry me. Can you please lend us a ship?”

Rook’s eyes widened with surprise. Fugitoid’s robotic eyes did the same. Rook stayed silent with shock as Fugitoid smiled at the turtles.

“Well, I think we can make an exception for you, my friend.”

“But Professor--”

“It will be fine, Rook,” Fugitoid says, cutting off the Utrom. “I'll explain everything to Bishop.”

Raph smiles, “Thanks, Fugitoid.”

“There’s a newly repurposed stealth ship outside. Be careful out there, my friends.”

As the Turtles leave the lab, they thank their robot friend one final time - and waving him goodbye, they enter the stealth ship.

The ship smells of engine oil, disinfectant and fresh paint. The boys inhale the mechanical aromas and can’t help but smile. Mikey and Leonardo take their places around the control panel, stabilizing themselves for take off. Raphael steps into the navigator’s position, and Donnie takes the controls. Soon, the engines roar to life. The ship begins to hover off the ground, and the four brothers set off to Salamandria.

In the ship, the brothers stayed silent as Donnie piloted the ship. All staring at him. All thinking the same thing.

“When did the Utrom Queen offer you a position?” Leo asked, breaking their silence.

“...A few months ago…” Donnie answered, keeping his eyes on the controls.

“When were you gonna tell us?” Raph asked.

“I didn’t see a reason to. I never accepted it.”

“But the offer is still on the table,” Leo added, “Donnie, this is an amazing offer you were given -- but you turned it down.”

“Yeah, Donnie. Why did you refuse it?” Mikey gently asked his brother.

“Because I didn’t want to be away from my family. You guys, April, everyone… If I joined the council I wouldn’t see you all as much as I do now. I actually really do want that job, but not if that means I have to be away from my family. Besides, me being Knight? I would have equal power to Bishop, maybe more! I couldn’t handle it.”

“Yeah, but if you did have that power, maybe you could change some of those laws Bishop planted on us mutants,” Leo said.

Donnie stayed silent.

“Well, if you ever do change your mind and take the job, we’ll be there to support you,” Raph said to his brother giving him a slight smile, “Just like how you guys are with me right now.”

Donnie turned his head to his brother and gave him a soft smile before bringing his focus back on the control panel of the ship. He couldn’t possibly have Raph worrying about his brother now. Donnie decided then that his dilemma will linger and be dealt with after Raph and Mona are happy.

The brothers stayed silent again as they traveled in the space ship, the gentle hum of the engines barely noticeable. It didn’t take long before Salamandria appeared in the window, glowing brilliantly in its nebulous atmosphere, that misty cover reflecting the light from orbiting satellites and space stations. This was a welcome sight for Raphael, because if he stayed on that ship for another minute, he would have thrown up.

After a perfect Donnie-landing, they disembarked and were immediately greeted by Salamandrian guards. Explaining who they needed to see, the guards guided Raphael to the training hall while his brothers waited by the ship. The brothers knew that this was something Raphael had to do alone.

Raphael entered the training hall. Immediately, his attention was turned to a sparring session. Sal Commander.

He was as battle scarred and roughed-up as ever. But still, Sal Commander had a regal air about him. His battle posture always erect and forward facing, dominating the room and all within it. You knew by just a glance, this is the man in charge.

Sal was training with two other Salamandrians. Based on their fighting stance and bad form, Raph could tell they were rookies.

The two warriors attacked Sal with their blades, but he easily dodged them both. Quickly, he responded with a counter attack which produced a couple of blows to the soldiers. They both fell to the ground.

“Oh, Raphael! What a surprise!” Sal Commander said as he noticed Raphael enter the hall. At that moment, one rookie attempted to do a sneak attack on the Commander. His failure was epic -- Sal grabbed his arm and threw him over his shoulder, resulting in a spectacular crash into the wall near Raphael.

The other rookie attempted another charge, but as soon as Sal heard her ‘warrior screech’, he drew his sword and deflected her blade with his, pushing her back and slamming her to the ground. He aimed his sword near the rookie’s face, the point of his blade nearly touching her nose.

“You both need to plan more carefully. You’re not going to survive in battle if you don’t know your strategies well.” The Commander aims his sword away from the rookie on the ground. “I think that’s enough training for today, recruits. You are dismissed,” he announces.

The two rookies nod and quickly leave, leaving the old salamander and the red turtle alone.

“It’s been awhile,” Sal says as he approaches Raphael.

Raph smiles, “It's good to see you, Sal Commander.”

“You’ve grown.” Sal says with a chuckle as he places his hand on Raph’s head, “Last time I saw you, you were half Y'gythgba’s height.”

“I wasn’t that short!”

The Commander snickers, “Speaking of, where is my Lieutenant? Did she not come with you?”

“No, just me. Well, my brothers are here, too. But no, Mona’s not here.”

The Commander walks towards a nearby bench and sits down. “I see. Then what brings you to Salamandria?” he asked, gesturing to Raphael to sit with him. “It’s not everyday you travel across the galaxy without my Lieutenant.”

Raph joins Sal on the bench. He continues, “I actually came here to talk to you. It’s about Mona Lisa.”

The Commander looked worried, “Is she alright?”

“Yeah, she’s perfectly fine. I just wanted to ask you something. Something important.”

“Which is?”

Raph was quiet for a moment. He knew just learning from Mona that marriage doesn’t exist on her planet, so how was he going to be able to explain this to him?

“Well, um, on my planet, there's a tradition,” Raph begins. He runs his hand over the top of his head. “It’s when a couple who have been together for a while and love each other very much want to, I guess you could say, commit to their relationship. Where the two become one with each other and, well, I wanted to ask you-”

“Raphael…” the Commander says as he leans toward the flustered turtle, looking him in the eyes. “Are you asking for my permission for you to engage in coitus with my Lieutenant?”

Raph’s face turned bright red from embarrassment, “WHAT?! N-NO! That’s not wh- I mean we’ve already- UGH! No! That is not what I’m asking you! I want to marry her!”

“Marry her?” Sal Commander repeated, looking at Raphael confused, “I’m unfamiliar with that term.”

“It’s something a couple does on my planet when they want to spend the rest of their lives together, how you would put it, becoming mates for life. I wanna be with Mona for the rest of my life. I want to ask her to marry me, but I wanted your permission. I wanted your blessing.”

“Why me?”

“It’s tradition on my planet to ask the parent or guardian of the person you wish to marry. She told me about her childhood and what you did for her. She said you were her mentor and kinda like her guardian. So ... I wanted to ask you.”

“She said that?” The Commander was flattered.

“Yeah… She told me about her parents and how you were there for her when they died.”

“She told you about her parents?”

“Yes. She did.”

Sal Commander sighed, “Those two were the best warriors I’ve ever had. Respected and admired by all. Their love was pure and true, something I’d never seen in a pair in a long time. Not even my former mate and I had that kind of romance.”

Raphael stayed silent as he listened to the Commander telling his story.

“They were so happy and when they had Y’gythgba -- she was such a joyful child when she was little! I thought they would be happy for the rest of their lives. But then the Triceratons attacked...” The smile on the commander’s face quickly began to fade away. “After their deaths, Y'gythgba’s life changed. That little girl who always had a smile on her face was gone. I took her in and-”

“And you trained her to be the best warrior she could be. Just like her parents?” Raph added.

Sal nodded, “Exactly. I wanted her to live up to her parents so I turned her into the ultimate warrior. She was strong like her mother and intelligent like her father. She became the top fighter and respected by many, just like them. She and I were so focused on training and nothing else.” He sighed. “I was so focused on training her, I never gave her the childhood she deserved and once she was old enough, I realized that I only made her suitable enough for battle or to find a suitor.”

“What do you mean, you made her ‘suitable’?”

“Raphael, when a Salamadrian female reaches a certain age, she is required to follow a protocol. She will be matched with a male so they will conceive a child who would be capable and useful for our planet. Since Y’gythgba was my top fighter, all the males wanted her.”

“Yeah, Mona told me a little bit about her, um, suitors...” Raph began to feel uneasy. It was weird knowing there were other men in Mona’s life before him, but yet he knows how she felt about them.

Sal Commander huffed, “Those men were never worthy enough to be called a “suitor” for my Lieutenant! Each one was worse than the last. They saw her as a trophy. nothing but a prize for them to brag about. They never wanted to love her. Just wanted her to bear children for them. All of her suitors wanted to control her, but she didn’t let them do that. My brave Lieutenant scared those honorless men away! And I’m glad she did! They didn’t see her as a warrior like you and I do.”

Sal looked at Raphael, seeing him begin to become enraged. Knowing that these other men never treated Mona Lisa like the warrior she was and only wanted her for their enjoyment and praise disgusted him. The very idea that men in Mona’s life treated her with such disrespect angered Raphael. She never deserved to be treated that way.

“You’re different from the other men who were in Y'gythgba’s life,” Sal said, placing his hand on Raphael’s shoulder. “You listen to her. Care about her. You make her happy. An emotion she wasn't able to experience when with me.” Sal Commander looked at Raphael with distress and sighed, “I put her through a lot, you know. She was so devoted to training and to fight the Triceratons, and I was proud of her. I put her through the most brutal and harmful training I could throw at her. All she did was train or fight in wars, never having time to actually be a child and live her own life. She sacrificed her childhood for her military training, never having a chance to live her life and have fun. But that’s what you gave her. A chance to live.”

A smile begins to appear on Sal Commander’s face once again, “Everytime she comes to visit I notice she’s smiling, laughing, and seems more relaxed. Something I haven't seen her do since she was a child when her parents were around. No longer does she have to worry about which war will call her to battle next. I receive messages from her from time to time, telling me that Earth makes her feel free, but I don’t think it was Earth that freed her. I think it was you, Raphael. You freed her from a life that broke her. You came into her life. You fixed her.”

Raphael smiles at the Commander, touched by his complement.

“You’re a good man, Raphael.” He smiles, “You have my blessing.”

Raph smiles at the Commander. “Thank you, Sal Commander. I promise I'll protect her and make her happy for the rest of my life.”

Sal gives Raphael a smile, “I already know you will.”

With that, the Commander escorts his future son-in-law back to his ship, where his brothers patiently wait for him. The brothers are happy to see Sal Commander, and after warm greetings, Turtles head back to Dimension X.

Back in Dimension X, in the Utrom lab, Rook quietly organizes her desk as Fugitoid goes over files on a big screen computer.

“You think he’s going to go through with it?” Rook asked, breaking the silence.

Fugitoid looks at Rook confused, “Who?”

“Raphael. Is he actually going to ask that Salamandrian girl to marry him?”

“It appears so. I saw it in his eyes. He seemed so passionate in what he was saying. I think it’s sweet.”

Rook stacks up some files into a neat pile on the desk. She smiles, “I think so, too.”

Fugitoid smiled. “I was there when first met, you know. They were young and in love. Both inexperienced with romance yet they still made it through some tough times together. I have no doubt that they will be forever happy with each other.”

“Perhaps you're right,” said Rook, “Just imagine the results these two could create for the galaxy. They could change it for the better. I think it might be even possible for--”

“Why is one of the stealth ships missing!?” a demanding voice enters the lab.

“Bishop!” Rook exclaims, “Y-you’re back early!”

“The meeting with the EPF ended early today,” Bishop explained. “Now, why is there a stealth ship missing from outside? All ships must be accounted for. You know that.”

“Yes, Bishop. We’re aware,” Rook stammered, too nervous to tell Bishop the truth.

“My apologies Bishop,” Fugitoid jumped in, “but I have to put the blame on myself. The Turtles came by earlier and needed to borrow a ship for one quick trip.”

“Why did they need a ship?” Bishop asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Bishop, the Turtles are just going to Salamandria and they’ll be back to return the ship soon.”

“Salamandria?” Bishop wondered. “Why are they going there?”

“I think it’s best that you don't worry about it, my friend,” said Fugitoid as he gently pats Bishop’s shoulder.

Bishop glares at Fugitoid, “Tell me,” Bishop demands.

Fugitoid sighs, “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Raphael just wishes to marry Lieutenant Y’gythgba and is off to Salamandria to ask for her commander’s blessing. Like I told you. Nothing for you to worry about.”

“What?!” Bishop said, shocked.

“If you think about it, its kinda wonderful,” Rook said popping in between Bishop and Fugitoid. “Just think about the results and changes they could create in the galaxy,” she paused. Then gasped, “Their offspring!”

“It could be possible,” Fugitoid added.

Bishop was silent, standing still as the two scientists continue talking about the possible events of such a marriage. He pushes up his glasses that were sliding off his face and clears his throat.

“I must go,” he said as he quickly turned and left the room, leaving Rook and Fugitoid to their discussion about the couple.

Bishop entered his private office, and closed the door behind him. After a minute of pacing, he sat at his desk.

He tosses his glasses onto the desk. “I always knew that Turtle was trouble,” he mumbled to himself. “Him being with her is already out of order for the galaxy. He’s a mutant, she’s a Salamandrain. In love? Marriage? Offspring?? It’s not right. What will happen if they do wed? The rules I made for the galaxy will change! Or break completely. It’s not how I see the future for Earth!”

Bishop clenches his fists in frustration and slams them down. The organized chaos on the desktop jumps, shivers, and is still.

“I cannot let Raphael go through with this...”

~~~~~

[TAGS]

@waferreyes (for making the cover!)

@monarel @starfiretheninja @ryebread-02 @cesarin @terra-mations @nerdgirllife @petrichormeraki @kiaratheleo @tinysuitcasepicklehuman

(If you would like to be on the tag list to be updated on the newest chapters, message me and let me know!)

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nerianasims · 3 years

Text

Billboard #1s 1967

Under the cut.

The Buckinghams – “Kind Of A Drag” -- February 18, 1967

The song's about how it's "kind of a drag" when your girlfriend cheats on and then leaves you. Not exactly a heartrending wail of anguish. The song's nothing.

The Rolling Stones – “Ruby Tuesday” -- March 4, 1967

What possessed someone to name a chain of bland American restaurants after this song? They wanted to be associated with a woman who changes with every new day, and needs to always be free? The restaurant Ruby Tuesday's is the opposite of changing with every new day and taking risks. Anyway. When I wrote that the Rolling Stones were almost never nice, I was thinking of this song, on which they are actually nice. The narrator's ex-girlfriend needs to leave to be free and take constant risks, though at "such a cost." It's based on a real ex-girlfriend of Keith Richards', who left him because he wasn't wild enough for her. Really. He ended up going to her parents and warning them that the amount of drugs she was doing, she was gonna end up dead, and they were able to save her. Seriously, she was living such a dangerous life that Keith Richards felt he had to do something. She's apparently doing fine now.

So um. Great song. I especially like the flute. It's a little weird to listen to Mick Jagger sing about a woman who's wilder than him, but the woman really exists (though I don't think she's wild now.) And both Keith Richards and Mick Jagger survived an era many of their peers did not, so they must have known where to draw the line. It's a bittersweet story with a happy ending, which plays against what's normally expected from The Rolling Stones, or really most popular musicians.

The Supremes – “Love Is Here And Now You’re Gone” -- March 11, 1967

The Supremes were no longer in Detroit with this song, and it shows. It's a far slighter song than anything they'd recorded before. And there's more than one embarrassing spoken word section. Most telling, I had never heard this song before doing this list. It's also the first Supremes song I don't think is good at all. Another heartbreak song, a bunch of tambourine, and a bunch of nothing.

The Beatles – “Penny Lane” -- March 18, 1967

I loved this song when I was a kid. It's an adult's hazy memory of their childhood home, with plenty of humorous flourishes. It's a cute song, but there's something sad about it too. It's about nostalgia -- he's remembering Penny Lane, but he's not about to go back and have his memories tarnished.

The Turtles – “Happy Together” -- March 25, 1967

I think I've heard this song too much. It sounds overly polished and hollow to me.

Nancy & Frank Sinatra – “Somethin’ Stupid” -- April 15, 1967

Ew. Who thought Frank Sinatra singing a love song duet with his daughter was a good idea? And this isn't one of those love songs that could easily be sung to anyone you care for -- no, this is definitely supposed to be a romantic song. Ew, ew, and furthermore, ew.

The Supremes – “The Happening” -- May 13, 1967

Horribly produced. Diana Ross seems to be fighting with the instruments to be heard, and I can't understand what she's singing. Looking up the lyrics, the song is apparently about how all her plans fell apart because she lost her love. But musically, the song sounds like it belongs in a circus tent. This is a painfully bad song, which is depressing coming from The Supremes.

The Young Rascals – “Groovin'” -- May 20, 1967

A nice calm song about doing what you like with your s.o. on a calm Sunday. (And not with Leslie. The line's supposed to be "you and me endlessly," though even knowing that, it still sounds like "you and me and Leslie.") It's got a nice beat and motion, so it's not dull. It's just, well, groovy.

Aretha Franklin – “Respect” -- June 3, 1967

All hail the Queen. And her backup singers and band, while we're here. But mostly her.

The Association – “Windy” -- July 1, 1967

This sounds like a sitcom theme song. How does one "capture a moment"? Is Windy a photographer? "Windy has stormy eyes/ That flash at the sound of lies" is a pretty good lyric, even if it also sounds like the kind of thing I wrote when I was twelve. Otherwise, I'd expect to hear this on Nick at Nite.

The Doors – “Light My Fire” -- July 29, 1967

The narrator in this song is a dick talking about his dick. Why does his girlfriend have to light his fire? How much thought has he put into lighting hers? The song is also incredibly repetitive. And yet, it's still sexy, thanks entirely to Jim Morrison. I can't say I like it exactly, but I also can't claim it's not hot.

The Beatles – “All You Need Is Love” -- August 19, 1967

Hating on this song has been the thing to do since I was a teenager myself. Like, come on, you also need food lol dumbasses. Except that's a really shallow reading of the song. Not that the song's exactly deep. But since I've become disabled and totally dependent on my husband, I've understood it a lot better. Now all we need to do is get everyone to feel love for everyone, the "love thy neighbor" type of love that this song is talking about, and everything will work out! Okay well no one said the song was a political platform with practical solutions.

Bobbie Gentry – “Ode To Billie Joe” -- August 26, 1967

I've been sitting here trying to figure out what to say about this song for some time. First, it's an amazing song. It's a story country song, and in this one, the narrator is a part of the story. But no one in her life knows it. No one knows what she and Billie Joe threw off the Tallahatchie bridge (I don't see how it could possibly have been a baby fwiw), but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that everyone in this family may as well be strangers to each other. They're physically close, economically interdependent, and completely without intimacy. It's called Southern Gothic, but it's familiar across the country, and maybe across the world.

The Box Tops – “The Letter” -- September 23, 1967

The narrator's wife has written him a letter saying she wants him back, so he has to get home as fast as he can. The singer sounds old enough to have seen a lot of life (he wasn't), and the music is happy while remaining grounded. Quite good.

Lulu – “To Sir With Love” -- October 21, 1967

No, it's not about a D/s relationship. Thankfully, since it starts with "Those schoolgirl days." This song is about a movie of the same name, which stars Sidney Poitier as a teacher who helps a class of mostly-white troubled students. Can you imagine having Sidney Poitier as a teacher? My crush on him would have been devastating. And the narrator does sound like she has a crush on him, but not like she's trying to get anywhere with it, thankfully. She's grateful for his teaching and guidance. And I'm bored. It's musically soupy -- there needs to be more of a beat. Also, the subject matter of a student feeling grateful to a teacher doesn't move me. I've been grateful to many teachers in my life, but it's not exactly a highly charged emotion.

The Strawberry Alarm Clock – “Incense And Peppermints” -- November 25, 1967

Incense and peppermints are what you keep on hand to cover up pot smoke. So, obviously, this is a song about getting high, even if the lyrics claim "incense and peppermints" are "meaningless nouns." It's about how nothing matters, nothing changes, but everything is connected. Maybe it sounds profound when you're high. Like "the color of time" line. I like it musically, but the lyrics just make me roll my eyes. It's not good nonsense and it's the shallowest imaginable philosophy.

The Monkees – “Daydream Believer” -- December 2, 1967

Musically, the Monkees were usually Davy Jones and some studio musicians. But all of them played and/or sung on this song, and they should have been allowed to on previous ones, because I don't hear a difference. In the song, the narrator's wife is feeling down about life. She was a daydream believer and homecoming queen, and now they don't have any money. Life isn't like her daydreams. But the song doesn't get into that; it's basically an airy love song. It's okay.

The Beatles – “Hello, Goodbye” -- December 30, 1967

I thought this was an awkward song about a relationship dissolving because they can't agree on anything, but apparently it comes from an improvised word game. It sounds like The Beatles, so that's good, but not one of their best efforts. It's as close to nothing as The Beatles got.

BEST OF 1967 -- Respect and Ode to Billie Joe WORST OF 1967 -- Somethin' Stupid, as it's the one that actually grosses me out. even if musically it's not the worst

#billboard number ones

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thewritewolf · 4 years

Text

Eating Habits Chapter 9: Warmth

The incoming chill of late fall might be making Paris cold, but the love of friends and family keeps Adrien and Marinette warm.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3.

The letters in front of Marinette swam as she tried to focus on them, her laptop screen getting blurry intermittently as she blinked away the gnawing tiredness at the edges of her mind. Between her exhaustion and the lingering after effects of her cold from last week, she was having an awful time studying. Maybe she should have tried getting back onto a regular sleep schedule, but there was too much to do after being bed ridden for a few days.

Thankfully, there was the power of energy drinks to save her. The caffeine was probably the only reason she was even still awake right now. Not that being conscious was a huge help if she couldn’t process what she was reading. After a few more minutes of unsuccessfully staring at her screen, she sighed and leaned forward, rubbing her forehead.

Once she wasn’t hyper focused on her work, her attention drifted to a conversation from a couple boys at another table. They weren’t very loud since they were all in the campus library, but she could still hear them pretty clearly. Without meaning to, she listened in.

“...Crazy, right?”

“Man, you’re super lucky. That would’ve been just the thing to make calculus less dull.”

“What? Haven’t you had a class where that Agreste kid just waltz in with a boxed lunch?”

Marinette froze. They couldn’t be talking about…?

“He’s been in so many frickin’ classes but of course he doesn’t show up to any of mine.”

“Bummer, dude. It’s pretty hilarious, and kinda cute.”

“Well, he was a model. Or is he still one? That was pretty ambiguous-”

“No! I mean he brings the lunches for his girlfriend.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. Feel bad for his girlfriend though. Must be a little embarrassing, ya know?”

Meanwhile, Marinette buried her scarlet face in her laptop, being careful to keep it between her and the two boys while they kept talking. Maybe it would be worth eating proper meals just to keep Adrien from these over the top antics.

Despite her embarrassment, Marinette’s stomach growled treacherously at the thought of his boxed lunches. She wondered where he was right now...

------------------

“Geez, dude, can’t even go easy on me for a minute, huh?” Nino threw his control down in faux anger. “Have I even one a single match yet?”

“Hm…” Adrien tapped his chin as he pretended to give it some thought. “Well, you did beat up my character when I went to the bathroom. Does that count?” Adrien ducked out of the way of a playful punch aimed at his arm. “Ooo, too slow, turtle boy.”

“God, you’re such a smug dick,” Nino said with a grin. “Can’t believe I ever thought you were an innocent homeschooled boy.” He leaned back, settling his controller on his lap. “How’d you even get so rockin’ at this game?’ His eyes narrowed and he pointed a figure into Adrien’s face. “And you’d better not say ‘natural talent’ or I’ll send M that clip of you drunkenly crying to that one Inuyasha scene.”

“We’re all friends here, shelly, no need to pull out the big guns.” Smirking, Adrien held his hands up in surrender and shrugged. “Well, you know how Marinette is into the Mecha Strike series. Ever since we started dating, every time a new title would come out, I’d get it for her. Then we’d play it a ton. Early on, it was after dates, but after I moved in, we’d stay up late and fight into the early morning.”

“Sounds like you were having a ton of fun,” Nino said with a small smile. “You ever actually win any of those matches?”

“Hell no. Why do you think I like playing against you so much? I got years of pent-up frustration to take out.” They shared a laugh. Adrien stared wistfully into space. “But yeah. It was like a sleepover every night with the person I cared the most about.”

“Harsh, dude.”

“Hey, you’re a close second! And that’s saying something since she’s literally the love of my life and light of my heart.”

“...Yeah, I can see how you two and your over-the-top ideas of love mesh together.” Nino snapped his fingers. “Speaking of crazy acts of love! Weren’t you making tons of trips to M’s university? What happened with that?”

To his surprise, Adrien blushed and he rubbed the back of his neck. “About that… Turns out, doing it once is cute. Two or three times is adorable, but getting annoying. But apparently two meals a day for three weeks - minus her sick break - is crossing a line.”

“Bummer. So she chewed you out?”

“If by ‘she’ you mean ‘all of Marinette’s professors’ then yes.” Adrien sighed dramatically. “Now I’ve been banned from interrupting all her classes, at least for the semester.”

Nino laughed at a pouting Adrien. “Uncool of them, but I get it. Can’t have some stray cat runnin’ around, getting everyone all riled up.”

“Anyway… at least she got a few weeks worth of regular meals out of it. I just wish it could have gone on for a little longer.”

“It is what it is, big cat. You did what you could and that’s what’s important.” He pulled out his cellphone and started composing a text.

“Who are you talking to?” Adrien craned his neck over, shamelessly reading over Nino’s shoulder.

Nino leaned away from his prying eyes. “It ain’t for nosy cats, that’s for sure. If you gotta know, its for my babe. She’ll think you getting banned is hilarious, and I gotta be the one that tells her.”

“Oh sure, laugh at my pain.”

“That’s the plan, dude.”

Adrien shook his head, but there was a glimmer of mirth in his eyes. He stood up and walked to the kitchen, leaving Nino to send his message in peace.

-------------------

A few days later, the apartment was quiet once again. Nobody had come over to visit, which was more the norm for his life. On some level, the stillness bothered him, like there was something missing. Or maybe it was just because it was harder to distract himself if there wasn’t any noise or energy in the house.

Either way, today Adrien didn’t mind as much since the solitude would make this a little easier. He didn’t want word of his plan to leak out before he was ready or else Marinette might catch wind of it and clam up. Which wouldn’t help anyone, least of all Marinette herself.

Adrien hung up the phone and took a seat at his kitchen table. Normally at this hour it would be covered in fresh ingredients for whatever he was planning on making that day. But where chopped vegetables usually sat was instead advertisements and a few bank statements. The latter was probably unnecessary - he knew without looking that’d he’d have enough for what he was planning. But it was reassuring to see, at least.

Knowing Marinette, it was good to have as many loose ends tied up as possible, and leave nothing to chance. He loved her to pieces, but she could work herself into an anxious lather if he let her.

“Are you sure this will work out?” Adrien worried at his lip as he sightlessly looked over the papers.

“Listen, kid,” Plagg said as he gnawed at a wedge of cheese. “You want to help her, right? And she isn’t budging despite everything you’ve done so far, yeah?”

“Yes…”

“Then trust me. I’ve known more than a few Ladybugs in my day and most of them are way too stubborn for their own good. And we both know Pigtails hasn’t bucked that tradition in the slightest.”

“I know, but… it’s a big step. Shouldn’t we talk it out as a couple?”

“Maybe. And I’ll grant that Pigtails is a great planner.” Plagg gulped down the last hunk of his cheese, letting out a satisfied sigh once it hit his stomach. He shook his head and looked back at Adrien. “But she’s also her own worst enemy. If it isn’t urgent, she’ll just plan and plan and plan forever without actually doing anything.”

Adrien smirked, remembering the times Marinette had shared - after some help from a bottle of wine - some of her more… creative plans to confess her love to him. At least, until he beat her to it. Maybe Plagg had a point.

“We can always plan together later,” Adrien said with a nod. “I just need to make sure she doesn’t reject it out of hand.”

“That’s the spirit, kid. Now, onto the important matters - where’s my second dinner?”

-----------------

Tonight was their anniversary, a chilly December day, and Adrien wanted to make sure everything was perfect. He’d gotten permission to leave the bakery early. Probably way earlier than he’d needed to, but Tom and Sabine had insisted that he take the whole afternoon off. Especially Tom, Adrien remembered with a smile, who could barely hold back the tears as he waved Adrien off.

A quick stop at the market for fresh ingredients and Adrien was home.

As much as he had wanted to go out to a fancy restaurant or do something special with her, he knew that the best way to spoil her now - after the semester she’d been having - would be a nice relaxing night at his apartment, eating a home cooked meal and cuddling in front of the television.

And by all the kwami was she going to get the best meal and the most snuggly cuddles he could possibly make. She deserved nothing less.

He became a man possessed, putting all those cooking classes to good use as he crafted the greatest lasagna he could make. While that was cooking in the oven, he began gathering all the softest blankets and pillows he could find and stacking them on his couch. Half the fun of a pillow fort was making it with someone else, but he knew she’d rather be able to collapse into it as soon as she got there.

It was just as he placed the finishing touches on the fort that he heard a knock at the door before it swung open.

When his eyes met hers, a big grin spread across his face as his heart raced. She wasn’t even a step inside before he’d rushed across the room and swept her up in a hug, holding her off the ground with his arms just below her waist.

She laughed as she pressed her hands against his shoulders for support. “At least let me put my stuff down first, you ridiculous man!”

He simply grinned up at her, eyes sparkling with happiness as he slowly let her down just enough to put them face level. He kissed the corner of her mouth and whispered:

“Happy anniversary, bugaboo.”

#Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrienette #Nino Lahiffe #Plagg #ml fanfiction #my writing #Eating Habits #The Lucky One series

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