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shawnjacksonsbs · 2 years

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I.S.O. a stronger, more powerful descriptive word for gratitude. 9-10-22

"Ev-er-y town

Has its ups and downs

Sometime ups

Outnumber the downs" - Alan-a-Dale (Roger Miller)

Okay . . .

Did you sing the lyrics above? Don’t lie. Lol I can’t read ‘em, like ever, without hearing, “but not in Nottingham”.

Anyways . . .

For those who don't already know, our apartment building had a pretty intense fire back on the 1st. We live(d) in the bottom front left. The fire started in the top back right of our little, and odd shaped, six-plex.

We had the least amount of damage, mostly just smoke.

But . . .

They condemned the whole building.

So . . .

The rest of the tenants are, and will remain, in our hearts and in our thoughts.

Since . . .

We’ve been back and forth with insurance, and the apartment complex's management more than I wanted to be. Things were not looking good for us on either front at first, but when we realized this, we started making phone calls, talking to others who have been through similar things, and taking time to make each decision. We had to stop letting them make us feel pressured into making snap decisions. So, we did.

And . . .

Smoke damage, except to the furniture, wasn’t, or isn’t (?) detrimental, at least in our case.

Now . . .

Things are starting to turn around, I think. Getting our things cleaned, and getting relocated, which is all happening in a way that suits us, is the priority.

I am grateful that no one was hurt or killed, and as I said before my heart goes out to all those affected by this in ways much worse than we got, and are dealing with.

We are hoping to be back to a regularly scheduled life, already in progress before mid-October. Fingers crossed that it's much, much earlier.

We were shown love by, and from so many people for which I am also grateful. Thank you to any, and all, that reached out in their own way.

“Look for the helpers” right?!

I didn't use to be made for taking on so much, or for taking on much of anything really, but these days . . .when situations like these happen, I just prove to me, again, I am strong enough to get through. Literally built this way now. *((Here’s to hoping that never changes.))*

Couldn't have happened at a stranger time either, because this month marks 9 years off that shit!

9 fucking years!

It's still so surreal(?) to even think about. I have memories of myself in my mind, but they almost feel like they belong to some other guy. Lol no lol Today I am surviving shit that 10-20 years ago I could, and probably would, have been responsible for causing. Again, lol no lol. As a matter of fact, it's Sunday after next for that anniversary. A holiday, that's shared twice over with other important pieces of my heart, and my life.

Save a little bit for next week, but life does have downs but the ups always outnumber them.

Always.

Plus, the downs are for learning and turning, so they help us to appreciate all the love in this beautiful world.

And gratitude doesn't even come close to describing how I feel . . . as I wrote this piece from a hotel room with not much in it, aside from personal hygiene items, a few clothes, * a lot of donated books for Pawpaw's story time, and of course that feeling of love. Then I drove to work on this early Saturday morning to make up for lost days, to a place I am partnered in, underneath a beautiful full moon while listening to Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins (if that song doesn't give you goosebumps, we might not be the same generation), so no . . . gratitude doesn't even come close.

It just . . .It just doesn't.

Granted there are some down feelings, but I can't really call them negative.

I miss my family, my momma, my grandkids, and I've really been missing my kids lately, even before all of this happened. Grown up and living lives makes it hard to spend time with them, at least like we used to. And I imagine a great deal of our upcoming weekends are going to be busy and full, but it won’t last forever. Right?!?!

So, it's a type of . . . sadness, but it's not considered a negative since the feeling attached to this emotion . . . is love.

Love.

Please keep sharing your very specific, very beautiful smile, along with your love and laughter with the world around you.

Remember also, to be kind to everyone as always as you can. They could be in a down day and you may be the deciding factor in how the remainder of their day goes, maybe even how the rest of their life goes.

Until next week;

"I see trees of green, red roses, too,

I see them bloom, for me and you

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white,

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,

Are also on the faces of people going by.

I see friends shaking hands, sayin', "How do you do?"

They're really sayin', "I love you."

I hear babies cryin'. I watch them grow.

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world" - Louis Armstrong

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semi-occasionally-writing-stuff · 3 years

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Of Bullets & Blood - Chapter 3

Read on AO3

Summary

C.C. Tinsley. A preacher’s son. Now a bounty hunter who will do whatever it takes to find who killed his wife and son.

Ricky Goldsworth. A former samurai running from his past. Now a bounty hunter trying to stay honourable in a land riddled with crime.

At first glance, these men were opposites in every way. However, through betrayal, blood, corruption, and the crimes of a serial killer, they will find that they have much more in common than they first expected.

Western/Samurai AU!

Chapter 3: A Warm Meal & Bad Company

To say Ricky’s day wasn’t going that well would be an understatement. He had been out hunting for almost 7 hours and still hadn’t caught a thing. He found a deer, but his boot got stuck in the stirrup and he ungracefully fell off his horse and spooked the poor thing. Then an hour later Francesca bucked him off his horse when a rattlesnake slithered out onto the path. Other than that, there wasn’t much that he could find and he knew he didn’t have anything left in the cupboards as he donated it to the local church to feed the poor. Accepting defeat, Ricky started to head home until he came by a dirty white house where an old man was sitting on the steps of the porch.

“Hey son! You look like you’re in desperate need of a warm meal. Why don’t you come on in?,” he hollered.

Ricky noted that the man seemed pretty harmless, there was a walking stick resting beside him and he was had a wide welcoming smile that beckoned him in. Despite this, he didn’t really want to bother the man.

“It’s okay sir, I’m just passing through. No need to put yourself through all that trouble.”

“Nonsense, it would be my pleasure! Good company always has a seat at my table. My wife always makes too much for me and my son. It’s best that you do come in and help us eat all of it.”

The front door creaks open and an older lady appears who waves at Ricky, “Abe, that’s dinner ready. oh hello there, I’m Delilah! Come on in, I’ll set an extra place at the table for you.”

“The lady has commanded you to the table now boy, you better get in there,” the man laughed as he stood and walked inside.

Ricky sighed and decided that eating a homemade meal with a family instead of stopping by the general store for some awful tinned food was a better alternative. So, he climbed down from his horse, brushed the dirt off his clothes the best he could, took off his bow and quiver, packed them onto the horse and straightened his jacket as he walked up to the house and into the dining room.

“There’s our guest of honour! Come take a seat next to Samuel here. When was the last time you had a good meal with family?” Delilah said as she placed a plate full of stew in front of him.

“It’s been a while, they’re all back home. But I have to thank you, ma’am. This is real kind of you all.”

“You aren’t the first to say that and you sure won’t be the last.”

Before Ricky could find the words to come up with a response, he felt a sharp pain exploded in the side of his head as everything went black.

When he woke up, he was on his back in a dark and dirty well. His head was pounding and his whole body was stiff and achy. A foul but sickly-sweet smell invaded Ricky’s nostrils as he put his hand on something smooth and tried to push himself up, but his hand went right through and plunged into something cold and slimy. As Ricky took a closer look at what his hand was in, it was clear that his hand was in the guts of the rotting corpse of a young woman. He screamed and cursed as he scrambled back into the wall of the well. There were skeletons and half rotting corpses strewn around him. If he didn’t get out soon, he would be one of them.

The family had taken all his possessions from him, all he could do was try to climb out or stay here and starve to death. With a deep breath, he tried to grip onto the uneven rock that lined the well and tried to pull himself up with the little grip that he had.

“Alright…right hand there, push up with left leg then grab onto that jagged rock there with the left hand. What could go wrong?”

Unfortunately, many things could go wrong. As soon as Ricky grabbed onto the rock, he slipped which caused the rock to slice his hand open as he fell back into the depths of the well. He hit the bodies with an ugly crunch and prayed that the bones that broke were not any of his.

As the panic and desperation set in, he heard an echoey but familiar voice, “You know, of all the places I feared that I would run into you again. This was not one of them.”

“You know, this may be the only time that I’ll ever be happy to hear your voice Tinsley.”

Tinsley snorted, “And you call me pain in the ass, someone was certainly self-projecting there. Give me a second and I’ll throw down a bit of rope for you. Then you can tell me who the hell dumped you down there.”

Ricky slowly dragged himself back up onto his feet as he applied pressure to his bleeding hand. When the rope was lowered, he grabbed it and began to climb up as Tinsley worked to pull him up at the same time, “You might want to savour this moment, it will be the only time I will appreciate you Tinman.”

“Alright Golden boy, don’t taunt the hand that saves your ass.”

As Ricky reached the top, Tinsley grabbed onto his forearm and helped him over, “Well, don’t you look rosy. You doing okay, Goldsworth?”

“I got knocked out by some old man, spent God knows how long down a well filled with dead bodies and sliced my hand open. How do you think I’m doing?”

Tinsley carefully took Ricky’s injured hand in his and examined the cut. Without saying a word, he retrieved some whiskey from his bag and a bandage. He poured some whiskey on his handkerchief and gently cleaned his wound and then began to wrap the bandage round his hand as carefully as he could.

“Who did this to you?” Tinsley murmured.

“Why do you care?”

Despite how Tinsley presented himself and how desperately he tried to suppress it, he cared deeply about every victim he has come across. From the little boy he found drowned in the river with dark red and purple bruises all over his neck to the kind old lady that he found with her skull caved in from a robbery gone wrong, the weight of every life he wasn’t able to save or avenge haunts him. Even though Tinsley wasn’t too fond of Goldsworth, he knew he was a decent enough man worth saving.

“This is the first time in years that I’ve found a victim that was still alive. So, forgive me if I care about who is responsible for this.”

Ricky sighed; he has had his own fair share of failings. Often times it’s not the victims faces that haunt him; their names are long forgotten. It’s the little things left behind that stick out the most. A lone burnt children’s sock next to a smouldering house or streaks blood being carried down a river.

“It was some family. I think the old man was called Abe? He had a wife and a son but I can’t really remember their names. It was at some big old house, not too far from the pig farm. They very kindly served me with food that I didn’t get a chance to eat before robbing me.”

Tinsley finished bandaging up Ricky’s hand and clapped him on the shoulder, “Well, luckily for you, I think I know where that house is. The general store owner mentioned that he had heard a rumour that bodies were being dumped in this well. I found the bodies last week but didn’t have any leads and I knew if I reported it, then whoever was doing this would get away.”

“So, you waited for another victim to get thrown down the well? What if the next one was killed before being dumped here? You’re just letting another person die!”

“If there’s no trail to follow then there’s no killer to catch. They’ll just get a little more careful and keep going. This was the fastest way to find the killer and save as many lives as possible. It all worked out in the end though, right?” Tinsley reasoned.

Ricky grunted, relenting because deep down he knew that Tinsley was right.

Tinsley nodded, climbed on top of his horse, and stretched his hand out to Ricky. “There you go, Goldsworth. Now, how about we have a friendly chat with your hosts and show them that your sins do truly come back to haunt you?”

Ricky grabbed his hand and climbed onto the back of his horse, “I would love nothing more.”

By the time the two men reached the house, with the extra horse outside, Ricky knew they had picked up a new victim.

“We need to be careful here, wouldn’t put it past them to use whoever they have lured in as a hostage to get away,” Ricky said as they jumped off the horse.

“So, I suppose you’re not planning on announcing our arrival so they can fight us?”

Ricky opened his mouth to answer but Tinsley held his hand up and cut him off, “Don’t answer that, I’m afraid what you’re going to say. Listen, your whole honour thing works when you’re up against other honourable folk and when the time comes, I’ll let you have at it. But these folks are cowards that will put anyone they damn well please in danger if it means they get away. We can take them in alive but we need to do this the right way or that person is as good as dead.”

“Does the right way include being a sneaky little shit?”

Tinsley laughed as Ricky slowly broke out into a grin, “We can be direct little shits if you’d like?”

“I’d like that,” Ricky hummed.

Tinsley reached into his horse’s saddle bag, pulled out an old large revolver and handed it to Ricky, “Here, you know how to shoot a gun right?”

“Of course. Just because I favour the sword and the bow doesn’t mean I don’t know how to shoot a man.”

“Good, because we’ll be outnumbered, and I don’t feel like doing all the work if things go sideways. Anyway, I’ll go in the front and you’ll go in the back. Sound good?”

Ricky thought it through and with the little that he remembered of the house, he knew that it would take longer for him to go in the back and through the kitchen which would leave Tinsley outnumbered long enough to get riddled with bullets.

“Sounds like a great way for you to earn a couple extra bullet holes. I’ll smash through the window of the dining room, get the poor guy out and we’ll deal with them that way.”

Tinsley drew his pistol and cocked it, “It’s nice to know you care but if I get shot doing it your way, you’ll never hear the end of it. You head on round and on 3, we’ll smash in like the direct little shits you wanted us to be.”

Ricky nodded, quietly snuck round and pressed his back against the wall next to the window as Tinsley bounded up the stairs to wait at the front door. Ricky peaked through the window and saw two men with their backs to them conversing, one of which Ricky was sure was the son.

Delilah emerged from the kitchen and handed him the bowl of stew.

From his position he could see Abe reaching into a drawer and slowly pulling out a revolver.

Taking a deep breath, Ricky aimed at Abe and fired once, hitting him in the head and splattering blood all over the wall, then smashing the rest of the window with his gun and stepping through as Tinsley kicked the door open with his gun aimed at Delilah who was screaming next to her husband who was missing a chunk of his head.

“Alright folks, let’s play a game called ‘all the killers in the room stay still so no one else dies,’” Tinsley shouted as he nervously darted his eyes between the family and Ricky who had his gun pressed against the back of Samuel’s head, half expecting him to shoot them all in quick succession.

Ricky grabbed the back of the shirt of the young man whose eyes were wide with fear, hauled him to his feet and ushered him through the broken window, “We’re not going to hurt you, but you should most certainly run. Can’t imagine this scene is going to get any friendlier.”

The man frantically nodded and held his hands up, “Of- of course! I won’t tell anyone about this, I promise!”

“Now, will one of you kindly tell me where you put my things?” Ricky asked calmly despite the rush of adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Fuck you!” Samuel growled.

Using the barrel of his gun that was pressed against the back of his skull, Ricky pushed his head down roughly onto the table, “Wrong answer, you really should try again.”

“It’s in the compartment behind the painting on the wall there, you murdering bastard!” Delilah screeched, pointing at the painting that was hung a few feet to the right of her.

“You got it?” Tinsley asked.

“Just watch my back,” Ricky answered, slowly moving his gun away from Samuel and walking towards the painting as Tinsley set his aim on the man to avoid friendly fire.

Once Ricky reached it, he tucked the gun into his belt, lifted the painting off the wall and was met with his katana, tanto, and a bundle of money. He tucked the money into his pocket and sheathed his tanto but kept a hold onto his sword.

“So, what now, you going to turn us in? You really think that is a punishment to us? You’ll make us famous and our legacy will be remembered for generations while the fools that we killed have no one around to even know that they’ve disappeared,” Samuel sneered as he slowly rose to his feet.

“What makes you think either of you will be leaving here alive? Can’t tell your story then huh?” Ricky chuckled.

Tinsley started to feel his sweat running down his back, there was a slight manic glint in Ricky’s eyes that alluded to something dangerous that was buried deep within, “Uh Goldsworth…What exactly are we doing? I thought the whole point of this was to catch them and turn them in?”

“Unfortunately, there has been a change of plans. If you don’t like it, you can leave.”

Before Tinsley could question him further, he stuck his katana into Delilah’s chest who frantically tried to reach for the gun her dead husband grabbed earlier.

With a shout of protest, Samuel rushed towards Ricky but didn’t get far before Ricky threw his dagger which lodged itself in his throat. He only made it a few more steps before collapsing to the ground and coughing up blood, wheezing and gurgling as he tried to draw more air into his lungs.

With a sigh, Ricky withdrew his sword from Delilah’s chest. Then he slowly walked over to Samuel and pulled his dagger from his throat, letting the blood pool on the wooden floorboards but ignored the clear sings of Samuel’s dwindling life.

Tinsley’s arms slowly lowered to his gun to his side, “What the fuck was that?”

“They're a bunch of cold-blooded killers Tinsley.”

“And it seems like you are as well. You going to kill me too?”

Ricky took out a handkerchief and wiped the blood from his blades, “I did what I had to do. You know that better than anyone. I'm willing to bet you've killed many unarmed folk in your time.”

“That's...different.”

Ricky snorted, “You might pretend to stand there all calm but we both know you've hunted down criminals and slaughtered them in a blind fury.”

He was right. It didn’t matter how hard he tried; Tinsley would not be able to suppress the memory of bone crushing underneath his fist or the spray of blood that hit his face. Two men had been foolish enough to dig up the grave of not only his wife but also his child. They had taken his wife’s necklace, her wedding ring and had also stolen the charred teddy bear that he buried with his daughter which they regarded as some sort of trophy for their hard work. This ignited a burning fury that was fed by the pain of grief which turned him into a raging inferno that left a river of crimson and a howling wind of mercy that was silenced with a violent unforgiving blow.

Tinsley sharply holstered his gun and tried to control his heavy breathing, “They took something that didn't belong to them and well…they had it coming.”

“Then why is that principle different now? They took the only thing I have that connects me to my family! They took this and many innocent lives just to birth a legacy of blood and fear. Are you really saying that you wouldn't have done the same?”

I did. I did and perhaps the worst part of it is, I don’t regret any of it.

Tinsley held hands up, “You got me there. What do you want to do ‘bout this mess then?”

Ricky sheathed his weapons and started to light the lamp, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s if you want to destroy a legacy then you must burn it to the ground. And that is what I intend to do.” Tinsley nodded and walked out, “Alright then. Now, you’ll have to excuse me, I’ve got an appointment with a cigarette.”

Tinsley didn’t quite understand Goldsworth. One minute he was yelling at him for being a cold killer but then went ahead to cut anyone down that dared to invoke his wrath. But perhaps he understood him more than he let himself believe. Tinsley used to try to be good but more of what he had to give was brutally taken from him and all that was left was an insatiable desire to seek revenge on anyone who had dared to wrong him. Maybe they were one of the same, one trying to be better than he was and the other who knew what path he had taken but couldn’t find it in him to change.

He lit his cigarette and as he held it between his lips. He took a deep drag to let the hot smoke fill his lungs. He heard the crash of the lamp being thrown onto the floor and soon felt the warmth of a dying legacy press against his back. And with the cigarette smoke shifting through the air like a ghost, Tinsley can’t help but wonder if he died right now, would the legacy that he would leave be more than one forged with the bullets he fired and the blood he has spilled?

Yes? No? He cannot find satisfaction in either answer. He knows that he never will.

#cc tinsley #ricky goldsworth #Tinsworth #bfu #shyan

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timeisacephalopod · 5 years

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Belated

I thought hmm, lets write a little Tony/Eddie/Venom thing for Reasons. And yeah I know Tony’s bday was two days ago but still. I’ve decided that this is a thing I have written for a fictional character’s belated birthday!

Tony’s half buried in paper work ready to throw all caution to the wind and throw himself out a window when Eddie walks in looking pleased with himself. Probably means he sniffed out a good story and he’s found something compelling but he doesn’t look like an absolute human disaster so he’s not too deep into it yet. Once he is he kind of looks like he’s homeless and Rhodey doesn’t really get the charm but Tony once watched Eddie overheat to the point of just fucking losing it and sitting in a lobster tank at one of the fanciest restaurants in Manhattan so he thinks Eddie is the best. Venom being around doesn’t seem to help that except now maybe he’ll eat the lobsters instead of just bothering the hell out of them.

“Happy birthday,” he says, walking over to him and behind his desk, greeting him with a kiss.

Except Tony’s kind of confused. “Wasn’t my birthday last week?” he asks and Eddie frowns.

“No, honey its today. I... who forgets their birthday? And why would you assume everyone in your life also forgot your birthday?” he asks. He looks extra confused but that’s probably just the way Eddie’s expressions work. Rhodey finds his over expressing annoying but Tony thinks it's endearing.

“You all have lives, its fine,” Tony says. Pepper’s always busy running around doing things for him, Eddie seems to have found himself some new thing to rip apart for the next couple months, and Rhodey regularly gets shot at so he figures they all have more pressing concerns.

Eddie sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re a prick and then you do something sad like make excuses for why everyone in your life would forget you were born. We didn’t forget, Tony, you got the date wrong. How did you forget when you were born?”

He shrugs, “I don’t memorize useless details. And in your defense I am a prick,” he says. They both know it, though Eddie is obviously a lot less hostile then when they met. He seems to have fallen for Tony’s charms, which he’s been reliably informed are pretty disarming.

Eddie leans in and gives him another kiss, “no you’re not, but you play one well,” pulling away and dropping his bag on Tony’s desk. Its disrupted his thread bare attempt at organizing his own life- not exactly his strong suit admittedly not that he’d tell Eddie he's managed to mess up what little organization he had. He pulls a stack of files out of his bag and drops them on top of Tony’s already too large pile of paper work. “Happy birthday, an organized list of all the moral and ethical problems I have with your company,” he says, grinning like its the best gift ever.

Tony snorts and starts laughing, shuffling closer to Eddie. He lays one hand on Eddie’s hip and pokes at the pile of folders with the other. “Well this is... intimidating.”

“Yeah, but you’ll look through it all because you do genuinely want to be a good person. You should be glad I didn’t go with V’s gift,” he says, wincing.

Fuck, Tony can only imagine when one of the first five things he did in Eddie’s body was eat several people’s heads. Sure, V turned out to be an overly sappy romantic ass goo alien but that’s a pretty rough start to things and now Eddie has to live with kind of eating people that one time several times. “Was it flowers?” he asks.

Eddie laughs, “that was suggestion like... fifty two. After I banned violence, drugs, sex- don’t give me that look it was a soft ban because that’s not a present, terrorist activities, harassing children, petty crimes of all varieties, eating heads, murder, grand theft auto, breaking and entering, space, possession, and about a half a dozen other things. He’s not too good with presents.”

“Well, he did alright with the cat,” Tony points out. V doesn’t really get Christmas, turns out his species wasn’t too cuddly and had no holidays, but he does have all Eddie’s memories of it. Conveniently, he tends to lean more towards Eddie’s view of Christmas as mostly a capitalist holiday that’s far more about big businesses making money, overworking retail employees, and present buying pressure that leads to suicide than the happy stuff. And that doesn’t even touch on Eddie’s view of religion. Though to be fair V probably gathered a lot more religious vitriol from Tony than Eddie.

“He’s threatened to eat that cat at least once a day since he decided to pick it out. Claims he’s a dog person,” Eddie says.

“Dogs are bigger, usually, so I’m not really surprised. More meat.” Given the look on Eddie’s face Tony’s going to assume V has agreed with that statement.

“We are not eating dogs,” Eddie hisses. Mostly he only does that around Tony, but its hilarious when he does it in public because most people don’t really recognize him anymore so he looks like a homeless loon being led around by a celebrity. Or at least he did before he became recognizable again through Tony’s fame and yeah, Tony knows all Eddie’s opinions on celebrity culture. None of them are positive and yeah, Tony can see why that is.

“Tell V to go hunt New York rats at night. He might have fun with that,” Tony says. “Wait, does Venom have a birthday? That a thing his species does?”

Eddie shakes his head. “Says he doesn’t have a proper earth date translation for his hatching day and I know he didn’t come from an egg so that’s a horrifying term to use. Do not enlighten me, V. I’m happy to stay in the dark.” He makes another face and Tony assumes V has let out some detail Eddie didn’t want to hear.

“That ever get annoying, the voice in your head?” he asks. Feels like it’d be exhausting. Tony doesn’t even like his own voice in his head let alone some random alien who decided pretty much on a whim to save the world strictly because he likes Eddie. Though to be fair Riot was an asshole and Tony was sick of being compared to Carlton Drake anyway. Guy was like cartoonishly evil. Though Tony will admit that he was good looking and damn smart, even if that didn’t really turn out to be a good thing later.

“Sometimes,” Eddie says, “but mostly V offers some good entertainment on human customs. Turns out his species tended to eat each other to solve problems. He thinks our petty politics is fun to watch.”

Yeah, an alien would find that funny. Or everyone outside of America at least until America decides to invade for oil or some other resource. “So who did he want to possess?” Tony asks, grinning.

“No!” Eddie says, presumably to him and Venom.

Tony’s laying in bed pretending to have died when Eddie walks over and crawls over him, laying his entire weight on Tony’s back. He sighs because of course Eddie would find the most inconvenient way to get him to stop taking up the entire bed. “This is a king and you’re like three feet tall. How is it that you take up so much space?” Eddie asks as Tony starts wiggling around.

“Ask the cat, she’s a hell of a lot smaller than me and she always manages to take up at least half the bed.” Eddie rolls off and Tony props himself up. “Thanks for the present by the way, half the stuff you pointed out happens to be things I was already looking to fix.” But Eddie is a fuck of a lot picker than him and its nice to have someone trying to hold him to account. And Eddie has no problem doing so, he gives Tony his opinion on a lot of things all the time whether or not he wants to hear them.

“Yeah, I got you something else too but its taking eighty years in the mail so I had to improvise,” Eddie says.

“Let me guess, you refuse to use Amazon,” Tony says.

“Look, that fuckstick can’t even pay his workers and he’s the richest guy in the world, and what’s all that crazy shit about pissing in-” Eddie starts but Tony cuts him off before he really gets going.

“Jeff Bezos is a prick, I get it. Actually, might get stuck at the same charity event with him next week so I can bring you along if you want to punch him,” Tony says.

The bright look of unbridled glee in Eddie’s eyes makes him smile. Yeah, he’s maybe argued a lot about Tony’s wealth, but he at least appreciates that Tony does his best to spread it around a little. Its just that he has trust issues and he knows how corporate charity works- its all tax write offs and siphoning money out of most of the ‘donations.’ So he does his best to do his research and lucky him Eddie is probably a little too good at it so he’s got some more reputable charities to share with. And he thinks its fun to pay off random people’s debt. If he’s having a bad day he’ll pick a person and bam, debt free. He likes making people happy so Eddie only kind of side eyes his money.

Generally that means he only brings it up like twice a day instead of non-stop and if nothing else Tony can appreciate that he’s passionate about his views. Rhodey thinks he’s annoying but Rhodey isn’t dating him so he can deal with it.

“Yeah, alright,” Eddie says but the way he says it tells Tony that he’s not talking to him.

“Do not eat his head, V!” Tony says, panicked. “I do not want to deal with the fallout of that. Just ruin his life like a normal person. Get JARVIS to help, he’s been helpful in my long standing efforts to ruin Hammer.”

“Yeah, pretty sure all you two have managed to do is turn Hammer into the knockoff version of you, but he uh... seems to like that so I don’t know.”

Tony damn well knows he looks offended because that’s the fucking rudest shit he’s ever heard. “What did you just call Hammer?” he asks.

Eddie realizes his mistake right away and Tony fucking resents that he looks a little dead behind the eyes because he was the one who damn well decided Hammer was good enough to be the anything version of him. “I would sooner take Carlton Drake as the cheap version of me than Hammer,” Tony hisses. “At least Drake was actually smart and hot! What’s Hammer? He looks like he came out of the womb dressed as the class clown who decided to be an accountant!”

Honestly Tony resents that Eddie sighs at that. “No V, you can’t eat Hammer’s head,” Eddie mumbles.

“Yes you can,” Tony tells him.

Tony’s attempting to make coffee while also ignoring Eddie due to his previous transgressions. Compare him to Hammer on his birthday. The disrespect. Eddie walks out of their bedroom and Tony resolutely ignores him as he starts looking around the pent house for some reason. Tony side eyes him as he moves a bunch of papers around- Eddie’s, not his, knocks the pillows off the couch, and picks up the cat. He looks at Cotton for a moment, frowning before he shakes her a little. She meows in an annoyed, disgruntled way and Eddie sighs, releasing the cat.

“Uh, the fuck are you doing?” Tony asks eventually.

Looking for me says a voice in his head and Tony throws his coffee cup, startling so badly his entire body jerks and he slips, falling on his ass.

“Oh thank god I thought he went and possessed some random secretary so he could go eat heads!” Eddie says, rushing over to him.

“Oh no, you stay back there you don’t get to come near me or V after comparing Hammer to me!” he says, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

Eddie sighs. “Tony-” he starts but Tony has already picked himself up and turned around with his arms crossed, ignoring him.

So rude. Venom agrees. We should eat Hammer V says, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

Tony sighs and it pains him to do this, truly. “V, we can’t actually eat Hammer,” he says in perhaps the most dejected, upset tone he’s ever produced.

Eddie gives him, Venom technically, an offended look. “You decided to crawl into him in the middle of the night and risk killing him so you could eat someone?” he asks, hand pressed to his heart quite like an offended PTA mom. “V, you better get your ass back in here!” Eddie tells him, pointing at himself.

He compared you to Hammer. We should leave him, go sight seeing V says.

Tony rolls his eyes. “V you aren’t going to manipulate me into carrying your ass out of here because Eddie put you in the dog house.”

“Venom!” Eddie says, voice rising.

Tony swears to god he feels Venom extend from his body and that is some worrying fucking shit how’s Eddie put up with that? “Tony thinks you sound like an offended PTA mom,” Venom tells Eddie and Tony squints.

“Since when the hell are you a rat?” he asks.

Venom turns to face him, “you take that back! I am not vermin!”

“No, technically you’re a parasite now get back here,” Eddie tells him.

“Maybe I will find a new home with hosts who appreciate me,” Venom says, sinking back into Tony and he does not like that.

“How do you get these things out?” he asks.

Eddie walks over and leans in, squinting at Tony shrewdly except he’s actually looking at Venom and Tony’s not sure how he knows that. “If you don’t get back in me I will play Bohemian Rhapsody at top volumes with Tony pressed against the speaker!” he hisses.

“That kind of sounds like fun minus the speaker thing,” Tony says.

“They don’t do so well with loud noises and vibrations,” Eddie explains and oh, that makes sense. Tony watches as black goo extends from his hand to Eddie’s and it almost looks resentful for it. Or maybe Tony’s imagining that.

Tony gives Venom a sad look as the last of him disappears back into Eddie. “I’m so sad he won’t ever experience Freddy Mercury like the rest of us,” he says, hand pressed to his heart.

Eddie sighs. “V says your music taste is heinous and he would rather listen to my music.”

He listens to exclusively shitty electronica music. “I’m leaving you both,” Tony tells him, turning and walking away.

#tony x eddie brock #tony x eddie brock x venom #fanfiction #alternate universe

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cristiancapulet · 5 years

Text

Confessions [Damian & Cristian]

Who: Cristian Capulet and Damian Fontana.

What: After an evening spent together volunteering, Cristian admits using Damian to make Tybalt jealous a week prior and requests a punishment.

Where: Damian’s apartment.

When: 12/24/18

Damian had rather enjoyed helping out with the festivities at the orphanage. The kids were cute, after all, and it was fun to watch them light up at their presents and treats. Damian remembered how magical Christmas had seemed when he was a child, and it felt good to be able to pay that forward, at least a little. And now, riding in Cristian's car back towards his apartment, Damian was enjoying the quiet little warmth that had settled between them. Cristian was a difficult nut to crack, Damian thought, and that was why it was so particularly pleasing to see him looking actually content. Made him want to reach across the car and touch the submissive's cheek or hair or hand, but Damian kept his hands to himself. No sense ruining a perfectly pleasant moment.

Cristian smiled softly, eyes on the road as he thought over the day's events. He'd always felt a sense of warmth helping with the orphanage, but today-- with Lord Tybalt and Damian, it had been.. something else. Sharing something that meant so much to him had left him feeling more at peace than he'd been in some time. "I know I said it already... But I really appreciated you joining Lord Tybalt and I today... So thanks," he voiced with a short glance towards the Dominant before his gaze returned to the road. They'd be to Damian's shortly, and before he dropped the other off, he felt the desire to offer a bit more about why they'd spent the day there of all places volunteering. "I visit that orphanage annually.. it means a lot to me."

Damian looked over at Cristian when he spoke and smiled warmly. "It was no trouble. I enjoyed it actually." There was something in the way that Cristian looked when he said the orphanage was important to him that made Damian wonder, but he didn't want to pry into a possibly painful past. "I'm glad you asked me to be part of it, then."

Cristian nodded, biting his lip for a moment as he focused on driving a bit before suggesting, "I'm glad. To hear that-- that is. Perhaps it can be an annual thing then that the two of you join me?" As personal as the orphanage felt, he always had the center's best interests at heart and was delighted to improve the holidays for those less fortunate. "No pressure, of course. Lord Tybalt could always choose to donate to a different charity next year," he added lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's the next left, correct?"

Damian noticed that Cristian seemed almost hesitant about the topic, and that told Damian just how much it meant to him. "I'd be happy to. It would make a good Christmas tradition. Yeah, next left." He tried not to dread goin up to his apartment alone. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable being alone, but this easy, companionable warmth that had settled between the two of them was extremely pleasant and he didn't like the thought of leaving it behind.

Cristian nodded as they made their way closer to Damian's place, remembering the look of the building and finding it with ease as they got closer. "I'm glad you think so," he replied as he put the car into park. "I've been volunteering a few years there now, and the company's nice." He let silence take them as he put the car into park, hesitating a moment before he turned to face the Dominant directly. "I... I've had some stuff on my mind lately, Sir, and there's something I would like to apologize for. I hate to be a bother on a holiday, but would it perhaps be okay for me to come up so we can chat briefly? I won't stay long-- I'm going to midnight mass tonight anyways."

Damian hesitated to get out of the car, not wanting the quiet moment to end, but then he was forestalled by Cristian. "Apologize?" That was surprising. But there was definitely only one answer to Cristian's request. "Yeah, of course. Come on up."

Cristian was relieved at the other's acceptance, grabbing a small tin and following him as they made their way into the house. "It's... well... I'll just wait till we're inside," he commented softly, not sure how the other would react. He'd had such a nice day though, and it was weighing on him, wanting to be honest with the Dom.

Damian just nodded as he led Cristian inside to the elevator and then into his apartment. It wasn't large, but it was very comfortable, full of warm colors and soft fabrics. The only visible nod to the season was a small decorated Christmas tree on his coffee table. "Do you want a drink?" He wasn't sure where Cristian was going with this, but he wasn't going to hurry the submissive along. He was happy to hang out a while.

Cristian nodded, finding the idea of a drink welcoming and hopefully enough to calm the sudden nerves. He enjoyed getting to know Damian, hoping to continue his growing friendship with the attractive Dominant, versus a purely professional one solely seeing each other st work. Even though he knew it was a bit greedy, he also enjoyed the attention he’d received from the Dominant a month prior. It was almost sad in a way that he knew the Dominant wasn’t one for dating around, but knowing so at least helped him from presuming their hookup was more than it was. “A drink sounds great, thanks,” he commented, setting down the small tin he’d brought with him on a table off to the side. “Whatever you’re having.”

Damian would normally have just had a beer, but it was Christmas Eve. "You like whisky?" He pulled out the bottle Tybalt had given him for Christmas. "Tybalt gave me a bottle of Japanese whisky. I've never had Japanese whisky before. What do you say we try it out?" He got out two tumblers and put an ice cube in each before pouring the aromatic amber liquid. It smelled good, at least.

Cristian shrugged, not much of a whiskey drinker but figuring it was worth tasting and would no doubt help more than a glass of wine or beer might. “Sure, though no much since I’ve gotta drive home please,” he commented, sliding off his coat and moving to sit down in the living room. “Lord Tybalt is who I want to speak about actually.”

Damian nodded and poured Cristian a modest amount, giving himself slightly more, before taking both drinks to the couch. "Oh?" That was surprising, on the face of it, but then again, maybe not so surprising. They both worked with Tybalt, he wasn't an odd topic of conversation for them. Damian just hadn't expected Cristian to bring him up. "Alright. Shoot."

Cristian sighed and swallowed thickly, reaching for the glass with a soft, "Thanks," before taking a drink. "Well.. it's about when you teased me a while back about showing up with that hickey on my neck at work," he began, pausing a rather lengthy moment. It seemed obvious he was admitted just who'd given it, and he found himself in need of another sip. "We uh... well we had a scene. Unexpected... But not the point- the point being well..." He paused again and took another sip, looking rather guilty as he avoided Damian's eyes. "There was discussion beforehand, and I must admit, you were brought up."

Damian cocked his head to the side. "You and Tybalt?" Well that was news. He'd had no idea the hickey had come from Cristian's boss, and his Lord besides. Damian was about to say something about Cristian's usual firm line between work and pleasure, when the submissive went on. Damian's eyes narrowed in confusion. "...You talked about me. Before having sex with him?"

Cristian tensed, feeling even worse at Damian's reaction. He nodded slowly then, confirming, "Well.. yes... He found out that I had submitted to you in November and seemed... jealous? So... I may have provoked him a bit by continuing to uh.. talk about it." He could feel his cheeks were blazing hot, avoiding the other's gaze and quickly adding, "I'm horrifiedby my behavior and extremely sorry for what I did... I hadn't scened since I'd scene you, and I know that's no excuse for what I did... but.. I just wanted you to know that-- and that I'm sorry. I completely understand if you'd never want to scene with me again."

Damian blinked. Tybalt had been jealous? That was definitely a surprise. Not that he hadn't thought Tybalt would be the jealous type, but he'd had no idea it would extend to Cristian, who always seemed so careful to draw a line between work and his social life. But then, he'd crossed it at Damian's prodding, hadn't he? Maybe this wasn't the first time he and Tybalt had crossed this line. Damian sat back, processing for a moment. "Let me get this straight. Tybalt was jealous that I had scened with you. And you... used that, to get him to scene with you?" He didn't like the idea of Cristian and Tybalt having sex, but he knew he had no right to be possessive. But the idea of Cristian talking about him in order to make Tybalt jealous... that rankled a bit. "I... don't really know how to feel about that."

Cristian felt so insanely ashamed he wished he could disappear into the floor. Somewhere. Anyways. "I.. believe so? When I admitted to scening with you, he called me a hypocrite and.. approached me. He'd said it in a way that upset me and I guess.. I just-- the words left my mouth before I realized what I said. I don't even remember what it was specifically now, but I was uh... bragging, Sir. Oh god... I didn't do it to get him to scene with me-- please understand that. I didn't expect him to kiss me when I said it," he admitted. "I just felt.. attacked, I guess. And when Lord Tybalt and I banter.. well, I guess it escalated. I enjoyed it seemed to rile him up, but looking back on it I just feel so ashamed I did that, and ashamed I'd brought you into the mess at all."

Damian took another moment to process what Cristian was telling him. So it hadn't been a deliberate attempt to antagonize Tybalt into sex. Just to antagonize him. Not great, still, but better. After a second, he reached over and put a hand on Cristian's arm. "Hey. It's okay." He could see that this was eating Cristian up, and the more he talked about it, the more wound up he got. "I'm not thrilled about it. Kinda peeved, really. But I'm not angry. You... you're not my sub. I don't get to be mad about who you scene with, and what goes on in those scenes. I'm not thrilled that you pitted me against Tybalt like that. Or that... you used our scene as ammunition to throw at him. That doesn't feel great. But I never needed you to keep our scene a secret. It's okay that Tybalt knows."

Cristian felt his blush spread when Damian reached out, relieved for the touch despite how guilty he felt. A slight tension lifted from his shoulders. The Dominant was attractive and kind-- and even if they remained solely coworkers and the other didn't want to spend time with him again outside of work, he wanted it to be a positive relationship regardless. He valued the other, even if he'd done a poor job of showing it. "I still feel.. Well.. I'm ashamed as I said, Sir. I'd honestly be surprised if you weren't upset. Although it may not seem like it, I highly value our relationship, and know I would have been mortified had someone done the same to me." He paused, throwing back the rest of his drink and setting the glass down as he requested, "And so.. I know it's a holiday, and perhaps not what you had in mind, but... Would you be willing to punish me, Sir? Please?"

Damian was, despite everything, take by surprise again at Cristian's request. He paused for a moment, looking into Cristian's eyes, gauging his expression. But then he nodded. "Yes. I'll punish you for your behavior regarding our relationship, which was disrespectful, and then when I'm done, things between us will go back to the way they were, and there'll be no need to discuss it or apologize anymore. Understand?" He set his glass on the coffee table, still mostly untouched. He wasn't going to drink it now that he knew he'd be administering a punishment. "Your safeword stands, at any point in the punishment. Tell it to me again."

Cristian sighed, nodding as a small, nervous smile appeared for the first time since bringing up the conversation. "Thank you very much, Sir." He felt a slight buzz already from the whiskey as he confirmed, "I typically use the color system, Sir. So for the sake of a punishment, 'Red'"

Damian squeezed Cristian's forearm gently before standing up. "Good. I want you to go into my bedroom, take your clothes off, and kneel on the rug. I'll be there in a minute." He moved away to gather a few things from the kitchen for after the punishment. A bottle of cold water, a package of cookies. He dawdled, giving Cristian time to do as he'd been told, then followed him into the bedroom. He set the things he'd brought for aftercare on the bedside table, looking at Cristian the whole while.

Cristian did as requested and made his way into Damian’s bedroom, briefly thinking back to their first encounter and how drastically different it had been from this. He immediately went to work, removing his clothing piece by piece and draping it over a chair off to the side before moving to the rug, head hung downcast as he waited for the Dom.

Damian moved to stand in front of Cristian and threaded his fingers through the submissive's hair, though he let him keep his head down. It was appropriate for the moment, after all. "I'm going to spank you. I know you have some pain tolerance, but I don't know the extent of it, so I am trusting you to safeword if it's too much, even though I know you probably want to prove to me that you can take a punishment well. I'm trusting you to make sure I don't really hurt you." He stepped back. "Lay on the bed, face down, and fold your arms under your head." He went to his closet and returned with a stiff leather paddle.

Cristian exhaled, relaxing into the Dominant's touch almost immediately. "Of course, Sir." He nodded again as Damian stepped back and Cristian moved onto the bed, trying to remember the last time he'd been punished with a spanking. He typically enjoyed the activity, but knowing the reasoning for it this time was more than enough to not have the same response.

Damian came to stand next to the bed, looking down at Cristian's long, slender form. He was gorgeous, and under different circumstances Damian would be feeling turned on right now. But he was already in a punishment mindset, so arousal wasn't a problem. He was thinking only of what he needed to do, and what kind of reactions he was looking for from Cristian. He set the paddle against Cristian's pale bottom. "Stay as still as you can. If you move, it won't add to you punishment, just go back to this position." He thought about deciding on a number before he started, but he didn't know how many Cristian could take. Better to judge as he went. So, without prelude, he lifted the paddle and brought it down hard across Cristian's ass.

Cristian anxiously waited, arms folded under his head as he spotted Damian and the paddle out of the corner

Cristian anxiously waited, arms folded under his head as he spotted Damian and the paddle out of the corner of his eye. He inhaled audibly, trying to not tense too badly when suddenly he felt the first smack, exhaling with a surprised moan. The tension melted away almost instantly as he felt his body relax a moment later against the sheets and his eyelashes flutter closed.

Damian could see the way Cristian's muscles went slack and knew he'd chosen the right punishment. This wasn't about retribution, after all, since he didn't feel more than a little hurt about Cristian's behavior. This was about catharsis, because Cristian needed it. He built up a rhythm, alternating between cheeks, building an even red across Cristian's bottom. The strikes were mild at first, but built quickly into solid, stinging smack that cracked loudly in the quiet room.

Cristian gasped, repeatedly tensing with each smack only to fall limp into the sheets after. After several hits he felt his ass growing hot and it harder to keep still between hits. His eyes watered slightly as a strangled, tired moan fled his lips after a particularly hard hit. He was faintly aware he was panting softlly, lips parted and fists clenching the sheets below him, mentally counting off each strike since it wasn’t requested verbally.

Damian watched Cristian carefully as he went. He didn't think he was even beginning to near the edge of Cristian's pain tolerance, which was good. He wasn't going to try to push him, not now. This wasn't meant to be a harsh punishment by any means. Once Cristian's ass was a nice, even pink, starting to deepen into red, he paused and ran his hand over Cristian's inflamed skin. "How are you doing?"

Cristian inhaled slowly, focusing on the mixture of pain he felt and overall tension. “I’m okay, Sir. Green... Thank you.”

Damian nodded and took a moment to look over Cristian's body. He didn't seem overly tense. And Damian was always inclined to take a submissive at their word. "Okay." He returned the paddle to Cris's ass, resting it there for a second before resuming the spanking. His strikes were slower now, but harder, actually applying some of his strength now and not just the weight and momentum of the paddle.

Cristian joined the chat 2 hours ago

Cristian moaned shamelessly as he felt the intensity of each hit increase, making the gaps between seem just as short as prior ones. He mentally reminded himself to never piss off the Dominant, surprised by how strong the hits were despite how little effort the other seemed to be exerting. The submissive flinched slightly with each hit before his body went went slack again, panting softly as he continued counting silently in his head. "F-fuck," he cursed under his breath after a particularly strong smack, feeling a mixture of alertness and exhaustion.

Damian paused to touch Cristian's ass again, which was deep red and radiating heat. He knew Cris wasn't at his breaking point yet, probably wasn't even thinking of safewording yet, but Damian's goal here wasn't to reach either of those markers. He didn't want to push Cristian, both because he didn't think the crime, such as it was, merited it, and because this was the first time he'd spanked Cris. You never aim to push boundaries on the first time. He set the paddle back against Cristian's bottom and looked up at his face, which was largely hidden. "Five more. Count them for me." He waited for Cristian show he'd heard, and then gave him the last five. They were fractionally harder than the ones before, but not much, and just as spaced out.

Cristian cried out each hit, surprised but not questioning the comment of only five remaining as he made sure to verbalize each hit as requested. When he finally answered the fifth hit he moaned into the sheets, shifting slightly as he tried to look back towards the Dominant out of the corner of his eye. His cheeks felt almost as warm as his ass, softly adding, "Thank you, Sir," as he focused on his breathing returning to normal.

Damian looked over at Cristian, meeting his eyes, and smiled softly. "You're welcome," he murmured, and he meant it, not just as the thing that one says in response to thank you, but that Cris really was welcome to have this, to ask for this, any time. Damian set the paddle down on the floor and moved to sit on the bed next to Cristian. "Scoot over," he said, his voice gentle, shifting into aftercare mode. As he sat on the bed with his back to the headboard, Damian tugged Cristian up against him, into his lap, so he could hold him tight against his chest and press a kiss to his temple. "You're forgiven. It's all done."

Cristian hesitated a moment before moving, eyes trained on Damian. He was slightly surprised to see him take a seat directly in front of his own, though he couldn't help but note their position. Dirty thoughts sifted through his mind briefly as the other motioned for him to get close again, wondering just how easy it would be to go down on the Dominant from where he laid. He knew he was too tired at the moment though, and the idea of leaning against Damian's chest was all too inviting. It was with that thought he let the other tug him into his lap and Cristian sighed, resting his weight against the older man's chest. Almost immediately his body relaxed again and he sighed, arms nudging their way around the Dominant's midsection. "S'nice," he mumbled, eyes half-lidded as he let himself enjoy the moment probably more than he should have.

Damian smiled as Cristian relaxed against him, wholly pleased by his reaction. It just felt right to have him here, limp and pliant against Damian's chest. He reached for one of several soft blankets that were always scattered around Damian's bed, never quite tidy, and spread it over Cristian. "Good. Nice was what I was aiming for. I'm told I make an excellent pillow."

Cristian flinched, gasping softly as he felt the blanket's material against his bare ass. He tried not to move much after, wanting to avoid any more discomfort. "You do," he agreed softly. "Sensitive though.. Don't move," he requested with a pout.

Damian was careful not to jostle Cristian as he held him tight, so he didn't make anything touch his inflamed bottom. "You're pouty when you've been punished, huh?" he teased with a fond smile. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on denying you anything you want, you don't need to turn on your puppy eyes." He tipped his head down to kiss Cristian's forehead.

Cristian sighed softly as he felt Damian's lips against his skin, barely holding back a yawn till he'd been left to relax again. "You know," he commented softly, voice filled with the onset of sleep. "There was a moment there where I thought you'd ask me to go down on you after." His voice was cheeky as was a a faint smile even though his eyelashes had fallen closed. "Good position," he added, sleepily rubbing his head against Damian's chest.

Damian chuckled and shook his head. "This was a punishment, not sex," he murmured, though he was aware some people conflated the two. He didn't like to. Especially not when he and Cris were not, in fact, dating, and Cristian had asked for a punishment and said nothing of sex. The last thing Damian wanted was to take advantage of the submissive while in a state of post-punishment vulnerability. Damian leaned back against a pillow and threaded his fingers through Cris's hair. "I'm really... grateful, I guess, but I don't know if that's the right word. Pleased. That you asked me for this. That you trusted me to give you what you felt you needed." His voice was soft and thoughtful and he slowly played with Cristian's silky black hair.

Cristian let out a small whine, retorting, "Doesn't mean it couldn't have turned into that," playfully with another yawn

Cristian: "That feels good," he added. "Glad I trusted you too."

Damian smiled and kept sliding his fingers through Cristian's hair. He liked it too, and it was all the better for knowing it felt nice to Cristian. With his other hand, Damian reached towards the nightstand for the water bottle he'd brought in earlier. He popped up the straw on the lid and held it up to Cristian. "I want you to have some water before you fall asleep on me. I know it was barely a scene, but humor me."

Cristian hummed in agreement, reaching out and tipping the bottle into his mouth for a quick drink without complaint. "Don't let me sleep," he mumbled as he finished, snuggling back into Damian's frame. "Suppose to go to Midnight Mass tonight.. S'Christmas."

Damian had no intentions of keeping Cristian awake. Or letting him leave so soon after a punishment. It wasn't good aftercare. And had nothing whatsoever to do with Damian's desire not to let Cristian move from his lap. "They'll have Mass tomorrow. I'll even go with you in the morning if you want." He set the bottle back on the table and wrapped his arm around Cristian again.

Cristian gave in easily, arms encircling Damian again. "That'd be nice," he gave in, not worrying for once about every little detail-- his phone alarm being set, or the fact he'd have to re-wear clothing. Nothing, except the comfort he felt passing out during aftercare in the other's embrace.

Damian shifted them after a while so Cristian could lay down, but he didn't stop holding him until long after he'd drifted to sleep. Even when Damian got up to get ready for bed and undress to his boxers, he went right back to holding Cristian as soon as he was back in bed. He didn't want to let go.

#damian #confessions #para #christmas eve

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peacebstill · 3 years

Text

Long but worth it.

Holly Butcher posted her advice to the world, 24 hours before she died of cancer.

This was her message...

A bit of life advice from Hol:

“It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

1) Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

2) Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky

is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

3) You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

4) I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

5) Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

6) Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and wi

ll go away.

7) Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

😎 Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

9) It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

10) Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

11) This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little k

iddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

12) Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

13) Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

14) Get amongst nature.

15) Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females

🤔.

16) Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

17) Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

18) Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

19) Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

20) Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

21) Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

22) Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

23) Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

24) Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

25) Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

26) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this

one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, i ) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo”

0 notes

eastcoastsummer · 6 years

Text

A bit of life advice from Hol:

It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe.

I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

#holly butcher #rip #holy shit this is beautiful

62 notes · View notes

kangalex · 6 years

Text

This Letter From A 27-Year-Old Who Was Dying Of Cancer Will Change Your Approach To Life

A bit of life advice from Hol:

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

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lismak · 4 years

Text

Holly Butcher (born 9 June 1990) was an Australian cancer patient, who gained a following on social media covering her illness and subsequent death aged 27 on January 4, 2018. Her last letter for her life lessons became viral in the social media and gained immediate attention.

A bit of life advice from Hol:

I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.

That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go.

It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more.

Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding.

1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice

2. It feels good.

Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee.

Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Value other people’s time.

Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time.

Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange!

It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could.

Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water. Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

#holly butcher #life advice

0 notes

uncomplicatedhappyness · 6 years

Quote

A bit of life advice from Hol: It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right. I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands. I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared - I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most! Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days. Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that - breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling. Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more. I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise - Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things ... until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it. Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being. Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away. Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more. Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people. It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives. Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them. Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister. This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on. Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water. Get amongst nature. Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else. Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔. Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises. Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best. Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that. Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay? Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not. Work to live, don’t live to work. Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy. Eat the cake. Zero guilt. Say no to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay. Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have. Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true. Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind! Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life. ..’Til we meet again. Hol Xoxo

Holly Butcher

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misselleeyh · 6 years

Text

2018 : 0527

I’ve always had this fear of death. It can happen anytime, any day. It can happen to anyone; young, old, rich or poor. It can happen to someone who have been lying unconscious on the hospital bed, or in your sleep, or even while you’re just watching TV.

This is a letter written by Holly Butcher, who died tragically of cancer. She posted this on her Facebook before she passed away less than 24 hours later.

Holly’s message is reaching people around the world, and everyone is touched by her words, myself included.

Read on and share your thoughts with me.

“It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right. I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling. Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it. Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realize just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more. Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Moving on.. Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature. Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy. Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do. Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay!

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

- Hol

#rantings #misselleeyh

0 notes

lacrimosapluvia · 6 years

Text

A bit of life advice from Hol:

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

#Holly Butcher #words

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affairsintop · 6 years

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Letter From 27-Year-Old On Her Deathbed Will Change Your View Of Life | Fort Smith/Fayetteville News

New Post has been published on https://www.anblogger.com/letter-from-27-year-old-on-her-deathbed-will-change-your-view-of-life-fort-smith-fayetteville-news/

Letter From 27-Year-Old On Her Deathbed Will Change Your View Of Life | Fort Smith/Fayetteville News

NEW SOUTH WALES, Australia – People across the globe are reacting to a heartbreaking, inspiring letter written by a 27-year-old Australian woman while on her deathbed.

Holly Butcher died last week after battling Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare form of cancer that affects mostly young people, News.com.au reports. But before her death, she wrote a letter, and she instructed her family to post it on her Facebook account once she passed away.

In the letter, she reveals what it’s like to come to terms with death at such a young age.

“It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” Butcher wrote. “It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; until the unexpected happens.”

Holly goes on to share her advice for living life to the fullest, including not worrying about little things and focusing on moments with family and friends.

“You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that s*** go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole.”

Butcher’s family posted her letter on her Facebook page last Wednesday, and it has already gotten over 120,000 shares. People from around the world have commented, many thanking Holly for her words, some telling their own stories of relatives or friends lost to cancer and others tagging people to pass the letter on.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Let all that s*** go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling s*** about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is s*** but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge (complain) less, people! .. And help each other more.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are s*** at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material s***.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

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furelisebaby-blog · 6 years

Text

A bit of life advice from Hol:

“A bit of life advice from Hol:

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females .

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo

Sent from my iPad”

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goldheaad · 6 years

Text

A Day Before Her Death, This 27-Year-Old Wrote A Letter, And It May Change Your Life Forever

“A bit of life advice from Hol:

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

..’Til we meet again.

Hol

Xoxo”

https://www.boredpanda.com/27-year-old-cancer-dying-letter-holly-butcher/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=3amt

0 notes