#as he gains those things and meets people and gains better scope on the reality of life beyond his village he grows into a good young man

[seeminglyseph]

Why is it that adaptations of “children’s” media for all ages or more mature audiences somehow involves “removing subtext” and “explaining everything in simple and plain dialogue to avoid misunderstandings by the audience”

It’s like the media targeted towards a more mature audience has even more hand holding and fewer mature themes than the media targeted towards children.

Like, yeah I watched Avatar when it came out as a young adult, and it has an adult fandom. But like many children’s media that has an all ages fandom, it was made with children in mind but was good enough that everyone could enjoy it. That’s the mark of good all ages content. Why are we making it more mature by like… taking *out* the messaging and subtlety and lessons and putting *in* really blunt dialogue that explains themes no longer present in the media and violence that enforces a message that runs counter to the theme that worked so well in the original media.

Like. Why is it that remakes targeted towards older audiences seem less mature in their storytelling? I know it’s technically “mass market appeal” but still, it feels like the assumption is that adult audiences are more ignorant and incapable of understanding media and difficult subject matter than children, so adaptations more likely to have adult or teen audiences need things explained and the lessons learned more explicitly family friendly and reductive.

#natla #atla #idk man I watched atla as it came out back in the day #and I experienced the disappointment of the movie live #but like… I know the movie was largely executive meddling in a film the industry didn’t believe mattered #and natla is… something someone believes in #but like… I feel like some of it is proof of writers showing things that are like… internalized biases #or missed points from the original series that were in the series for a reason and meant something for a reason #and it’s one of those things where if you change it without understanding why it’s there it fucks the whole production #Sokka had a misogyny problem because he was a boy with a lack of role models and maturity #as he gains those things and meets people and gains better scope on the reality of life beyond his village he grows into a good young man #take out his misogynist plotline and you create a plotline about a strong girl who just… stops everything to build up a sad boy #which is the same annoying plot line we’ve seen for warrior women over and over and over again #you didn’t know why it was in the soup and now you fucked the broth

[firelonewolf]

Irresistible

Summary: basically the reader like Deadpool and Deadshot and well, Deathstroke. Let's just a few tweaks from all of three of them. And let's say Billy Butcher sort of loves the wild card type of woman as well.

Pairing: Billy Butcher x Supe!Reader

A/N: I figured this might be interesting for Butcher to have. Gonna admit, I used google translator for the Arabic. Sorry if it's wrong. Also remember the reader mainly gonna be like Deadpool, you'll have to expect some dirty language! Not mention I had to, because Deadpool's humor hilarious. Originally I had this edited, but Tumblr messed up, again. And I'm too lazy for it.

Being a product of a lab wasn't the best. Besides the point when they decided to throw you in an orphanage. Where you spent your days hating life because no one ever wanted you. Than before you knew it, you ended up being adopted in middle school. All because you picked pocket the wrong person, a man who was blind. His name was Idris Salah a man from Egypt. Little did you know, he knew from being a US Marines before. A lonely man who took it upon himself to spend time with you. Where you learned self defense, he pushed you to use it for good instead of bad. Even made you learned more skills that were useful. You could say he was your father figure.

It should also be mentioned he didn't force religion on you or anything. But Idris wasn't very religious himself either, but was somewhat. He mainly taught you what it was like to have family, hes a good man. A man who's side you still stick with.

Like when both of you found you were a product of Vought, and than when it came out all superheros were made in labs. And you found out you were one of them. Idris was the one who told you it didn't make you any less of who you were. Which was a superhuman. What could you do though?

Well, you had regenerative healing no matter what. But you had low leveled enhancement, with strength, stamina, agility. But you had enhanced eyesight and dexterity and had excellent marksmanship. Skilled with swords. Immunity to diseases and chemicals. Than on top of it you learned Spanish, Arabic, Japanese, Urudu and a couple of others. You mainly spoke Arabic with Idris to not lose that.

And ever since you became an adult, things took a different turn. Before you knew it you became a mercenary somewhat. Which lead you ending up working for other people for money. Paying your and Irdis's bills and groceries and saving for his retirement. And than becoming a parent didn't help.

You had a daughter, and you let her stay with her father. He refused to give you full custody knowing what you can do. Her name was Samara, but liked to be called "Ara." She liked being called that for some reason. Perhaps it had a better ring to her? You're not sure but she was one of the most important people to you.

Today was suppose to be the normal. Normal as in do your usual assassinations of who ever. Send a message to whoever. Anything that was scheduled for your job. This who were, nothing else. After dropping Ara at school you headed to the park apparently a client wanted to disgust a business opportunity.

Wearing a dark gray sweater with black pants and boots. With some makeup to your eyes pop out than there was a backpack on your back. Black shades on your eyes. Sitting on park bench leaning your back against it. In the middle of Central Park in early October. Let's say you looked badass even with casual wear, and you bet your ass you knew it too.

Some sat behind you, you could sense it despite your back turned. "Chilly day isn't it?" You hear a feminine voice say. Shrugging your shoulders in response.

"Indeed. Nothing compare to the weather in a few months" you remark glancing around the area. Making sure no one else was around in a earshot.

"Agree. NYC in winter one of the worst places to drive" she remarks back to you. "If I'm correct, your Death Strike correct?" She inquires to you in response. That makes you laugh pulling a cigarette out not lighting it. Just biting down on it still appreciating the ritual.

"One and only" you remark. Touching the paper of the cigarette. Enjoying the taste of non smoked tobacco. Simply enjoying it to remain less stressed at the point. "Have a job for me sweetheart?"

A chuckle came from her at this point. "Madelyn Stillwell CEO of Vought International, and boy, or should I say boys, do I have a job for you. You might like this one than your usual. You interested?" She inquires to you with a grin.

"Is there money involved?" You remark with a smirk.

"Lots of money," she remarks. "Come back to Vought International with me, we'll disgust." Reluctantly you agreed following her as she made casual conversation with you. Soon enough taking off her coat and bringing you to a meeting room.

Never did you expect yourself to be in the Seven's floor, ever. Moving to the meeting room you than spotted the one, the only, Homelander. Scout boy that Vought tried to present to the world, but you knew it was a lie. No one was ever a good two shoes, especially someone with his gifts. Homelander noticed your presence and made eye contact seizing your up. "Makan jamil" you say in Arabic observing the place.

"You speak Arabic too? Your file never said that." Stillwell comments to you.

"Learned it when I was twelve," you remark back. "Let's disgust business. I'll get it done soon a possible," you say to her.

"Wait a minute before we start. You're the mercenary, Death Strike?" Homelander inquires to you making you chuckle.

"Blondie, what did you expect? A man six foot and bald?" You grin in response. Taking the fake cigarette out of your mouth placing it in your pant pocket. "Sorry to be a disappointment."

Homelander flashed his Hollywood in your direction. "Its just, your too pretty to be a mercenary. Figured you to be a model or well, a bartender something more common." He remarks back to you with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Flattering will get you everywhere" you turned away to hide your smile. "Don't let me deceive you, I'm quite the wild card type" replying to him. This seem to catch his interest.

"I wouldn't underestimate her," Stillwell pipes up. "Shes never missed a shot. Killing her isn't a solution either" she comments. Before her gaze meeting yours. "I've gone through some old Vought files. You were registered under a different name, I believe it was Wilson or something as your surname. Took a while, but you're basically immortal. Regenerative abilities with immunity to many chemicals and diseases. Everything just grows back, like an axolotl. Others think your a psychopath or not mentally all there. Some believe she had the ability to manipulate bullets. Mind telling me that if that's true?" She shrugged your shoulders again that.

"I'm just here for my contract and money. Now who do you want killed?" You remark getting right down to business. "Need guys balls smacked into reality? How about nice bullet to massage their head?" You inquire to them. "Which one, I have a variety options!" Awaiting the answer. Leaning your waist against the table.

Both of them glanced at each other before Homelander leaned forward. "Perhaps for now, I need you to teach a lesson to someone. Someone named William "Billy" Butcher. We want you to send the guy to message, anything of your picking." Butcher, interesting surname in your opinion.

Must've been the temperamental type, it had to be a trait in the family. Why else would there ancestors gain the surname Butcher? "Got it. He should be an interesting one, Butcher. Twist of his balls should turn change his mind about doing whatever hes been doing to piss you off." You remark, "I'll expect the money to be in my account in about let's say, by at least eight tonight. Won't be long before I have him in my sights." You say heading to the elevator of the tower. About to take a turn at the elevator. "Hope I see you around blondie" winking with a charming smile. Leaving knowing you've caught the interest of the American golden boy.

Having fun with it when you could was great. Might as well take advantage make sure your rememberable, and you know you are. Heading out of Vought International you headed straight to be loft. Idris sat in the recliner listening to the radio with his cane by him. "(Y/N)? What took you so long? Actually, I'd figured you be at the bar by now." Idris says not turning his head.

"Oh you know, I had to go tickle someones ball. Had to put my hand to work, give a little anal" you remark. To feel Idris stare and turning to see the expression on his face. "I'm kidding! Had another business opportunity. Have a date with a Mr. Butcher, give him a nice signal maybe convince him to doll himself up for me."

"Sometimes I question why no orphanage doesn't give a receipt" Idris comments to himself.

"Than who would annoy you?" You remark as you grab your suit and mask and weapons. Only to hear the remark of a annoyed sigh from Idris. "I'll be back" you say to mimick Arnold Schwarzenegger from Terminator. It only takes a few minutes to get the suit on and the weapons.

Your suit was a body tactical that had two colors on it in general. That had gloves and boots that went well, a friend name Ferret designed it. Your suit mostly had a scheme that matched the color of Mars which is an iron oxide color. With some orange on it and dark black on it. Mostly having a belt around you holding your handguns. Than two wakizashi. Let's say your suit matched a certain mercenary that didn't want to join the boy band of the X-men and a hitman part of a Suicide Squad. But you know one thing for sure, you're more badass than those two. Than your mask was plain with those schemes with eye shaped holes. On your right eye was a red scope. Gadgets were even on your belt, that should be mentioned.

Grabbing your backpack with a sniper slinging it on your back. Than hid a knife in your boot just in case. Heading out you called a favorite Uber driver of yours, his name is Deshpande. Why was he your favorite? He never questioned why you had these weapons. Simply drove while making casual conversation.

And let me tell you, this guy was epic for an average joe! As you waited on the sidewalk to see the usual little green car pull up. Getting in the passenger seat of the car. "Hello Deshpande" you say at the scrawny man beside you in the driver seat.

"Hello Ms. Strike, how is your day?" He says as he begins to drive.

"Oh, you know the usual. New job, but today I just have to make a guy shit his pants and its over and done with." You casually say sitting back into the seat. "How was your day?"

"Well my girlfriend is great. She keeps pressuring me to get a haircut" he comments. To where you pull out your found watching the red dot that you've gotten on your target. "She thinks my hair is too long. But other than that things have been great!" He comments with a bright smile.

"Oh! So my advice worked from last time. Told you so" you lightly push him. "Your too cute to resist for her." You remarked to him proudly.

"I am very grateful for your assistance Ms. DS," he remarks back. "My girlfriend and I have been happy ever since I threatened my romantic rival. And I scared him away from ever contacting her," he says with a complete innocent smile. Yes, you gave him advice to terrorize the fellow away, but it worked in his favor. Not like either one of you cared though, not like anyone would stop you.

"I'm so proud of you. I feel like a parent, well I am one. But one towards my own son!" You say with your hand over your heart. A little tear slipped out from under your suit. Than he pulled up to two buildings with an alleyway in between each. "Okay, Deshpande, I need you to wait here. Because I'll need a ride back, and I will give you the money for being my getaway driver and all. Wait here, and do not panic. Be back in a sec!" You cheerfully say before exiting the car. Than climb up on the roof of one building. Sitting down you sit above the alleyway and take your sniper out. Than glance at your phone to see a transaction of around 1,000,000 added to it. With a smirk you relax and adjust your gun in the right position.

While waiting you begin to whistle a song like a bird casually. Than spot a group of men walking out into the alley. "Butcher would you just listen!?" One muscular says trailing after the guy with the long jacket and dark hair.

"Give me a good reason why!" He remarks back in a rough accent. You had to admit, he's cute. And than that accent was the icing on the cake! It was like magic to you. Good thing you didn't have to kill the guy. Beginning to aim you targeted his shoulder and steadied yourself at the target. As they continued on rambling your finger snaked to the trigger. Than at the open opportunity you shot and moved fast. Slinging the sniper around you and racing to the direction of Deshpande and using rope to go down to the ground. Cussing could be heard as you raced to the car.

Deshpande surprised at you holling ass into the car, once you got in stepped on it. Amused you laughed still hearing cussing from the target. But it didn't mean they didn't see you. Kimiko ended up on the roof where you were before, and searched the area. Hughie on the other hand was flipping out while Frenchie was trying to apply pressure on the wound. From the bullet hole it was deep but not deep enough for fatal damage. Blood was covering the shirt though and jacket.

MM raced to find any sign of the car he heard racing away. But that was merely only a couple of hours ago. Frenchie managed to get the bullet out and they cleaned Billy's wound. Billy on the other hand was furious, whoever this person it must've been from the cunts at Vought. Particularly Homelander sending him a message. He immediately was out on a hunt despite the protest of Hughie trying to reason with them. That perhaps Vought forced you to do this, Butcher thought otherwise. A inside job like this was a willing one, if they really wanted someone forced it would've been Black Noir who did it.

Nah, you agreed to it willingly for the money they gave you. And you must've known something about them, he wanted to find out. So when Billy a couple days later found out where he could find you, he took the opportunity. Now he figured whoever this guy was, he was gonna beat them up than get answers. It had to be a guy named Wade or Lloyd some douchebag name like that.

Walking in the bar it was partly empty but somewhat not. Light music played in the background as he walked in. Guys at the bar smoked and talked amongst themselves. Cigarettes filled the air as he began to glance around the area. For some reason he was expecting the guy to show up any time. As he leaned his side into the bar table a the bartender glanced at him. It was some tall guy with long hair and a beard but nerd looking. He also had glasses with somehow a nerdy style. "Give me a scotch will you?" He says to the bartender.

In the corner he spotted a woman. Wearing a dark orange fleece with white fur and long diem skirt and a plain cream fleece shirt could be seen. Than a pair of matching light brown boots. Her hair was (y/h/l) that was (y/h/c) it was a nice style on her, she rocked it better than most woman, well some looked great with it but she owned it in his eyes. Butcher watched as she threw darts at he board all without having to pause for a brief moment. Each one seen out of instinct and well lots of practice.

One last dart glided through the air and hit the center of the dart bored. Chugging the rest of your margarita and took the darts down before heading to bartable. "Instead of a margarita make it something different, surprise me." You remark to the bartender.

"I'm surprised your not a drunk by now" he comments.

"Ferret, my dear good friend, alcohol doesn't affect me and we know this. Not like it could kill my liver either" you remark. Taking the cigarette that was on your ear off of it.

"Right, sort of unfair though. Anyway drink coming up!" He says turning away to make a mixture. You put the cigarette in your mouth and dig in your pocket for the lighter. Than bring it to the tip of the orange strip of it. With a click you attempt to light to which it doesn't after a few tries.

"Im 'arghab fi altadakhiyn ealaa 'ayi hal" you mutter to yourself tossing the lighter in your pocket.

"Need a light, love?" You suddenly hear than turned to see the guy from a couple of days ago, Butcher. What a coincidence, especially since you admitted to yourself you found the target attractive. Did he know who you were? Probably not, no one ever really knows. Taking the cigarette out you keep it tucked between your fingers out to him. He lites it to which you bring it to your lips.

Puffing out a small cloud of smoke soon enough. "Thanks" you remark to him. "I don't really smoke often so I forget to refuel my lighter," you say before placed in front of was your drink. A nice from what it smelt like an New Zealand beer before tasting it.

"No problem," he remarks back to you. "What was that you were speaking? I don't recognize it." He comments facing forward.

"Arabic" you answer. "My adoptive father speaks it, he taught me that." You comment taking in a bit of the cigarette before bellowing the smoke out.

"Really? Must be a swell guy."

"He is for a sassy old man." You remark back in a chuckle. To which Butcher also chuckles at also.

"Billy Butcher, and you are?" He inquires to you.

"Margot Robbie" you remark with a smirk. Than see his facial expression full of disbelief at that. A laugh escapes you, than stop "kidding. Its (Y/n)," you say with a shit eating grin on your face.

"Lovely name" he remarks.

"I suppose." You remark back him. "So" you pause than bit your lip a bit "come here often?" A laugh croaked out the man with an accent.

"Not really, waiting for someone." He remarks back to you.

"Oh?" You say already knowing the answer. With your other hand snaking away and reach near your knife hidden. "May ask whom?" You inquire to him. Attempting to hide your grin and remain serious.

"Some guy who shot me. Found intel that he'll be here any second" he says not paying attention to your expression. Biting your tongue, not too hard to keep a laugh from breaking out. "Wait I until I punch the cunt in the face for the damage he's caused."

He thinks your a man? Why does everyone think your a man? Is this considered sexist or just someone boldly assuming without considering? Did you look guy with a suit on? How the heck was this happening? You'd think they'd thought they'd remember some hot chick like yourself. Oh well, it's easier to deceive them this way. "He must've really made it on your shit list for you want to find him." You comment still trying to hide your smirk from emerging.

"The cunt shot me and ran off" he retorts back. Cunt? He really favored that word apparently, but hey, you've been called worst. "Coward, that's what he wants. And he missed! What a lousy shot. What a bad hitman." He remarks back to which that clicked for you. Immediately snaking your blade out you held it against his throat. Taking in a big sip from your drink finishing it before placing it back down.

Keeping a grip on your knife and put your cigarette in the near ashtray. "I never miss" you darkly comment. "I meant to shoot your arm. To left where purposely missed a major artery an your broken. Could've given you a fatal injury to where a surgeon would have to repair that bone of yours." You explained slyly with a dark glint your eyes. Yeah, this guy was cute but you wouldn't let him down talk you. From how close you were without realizing it, Billy could smell your shampoo and conditioner. Milk and honey scented it over took you entirely making you smell sweet. "By the way, I'm actually a mercenary. I only do a few hitman jobs" you say. Turning your gaze to him to where your eyes met. "But it's not my fault you ended up on my naughty list" you comment.

"I knew you were a girl" he says with a grin. "Rough childhood, love? Oh right, you answered it already. Orphans always have problems, huh? What did mommy and daddy go out for milk?" He says trying to set you off, which your sure is the last thing he wanted to experience.

"They dropped me off at a fire station after trying to leave me high and dry at an hospital. A firetruck almost ran me over, and a homeless man almost peed on me" you remark.

"(Y/n)" Ferret says giving you a look. "If your gonna fight this guy take it outside this time, please? You have that crazed look in your eye, it makes me nervous. Its like for me seeing a bull head to the China shop" he comments. Casually just standing there behind the bartable.

"It'll be fine" you remark back. "I'll be gentle" you reply.

"You talkative, huh? If only I could sow your pretty little mouth shut." He remarks to you that makes you chuckle.

"They've already tried that with someone liked me" before clicking your tongue "it didn't go well." You comment with a light shrug of your shoulders.

"Highly doubt that" he remarks. "It should of been a field for them!" He grins to you.

"Perhaps if you like a sucky movies" you sarcastically say. "The movie was awful" you remark. "Anway, I have way better things to do than sit here and argue with you, Butcher. Lovely accent though!" Before wiping out a fuzzy pair of cuffs. "Don't judge me either" before cuffing him to the bartable with his left wrist. Stepping back off of the bar stool and dropping a few dollar bills for Ferret. "Don't you look lovely with fuzzy leopard printed cuffs!" You grin highly amused at this. To meet the grumpy face of the English accented man.

"You fucking cunt" he growls at you.

"I know honey, I'm great. Catch you on the flip side Billy" you tapped his nose with your finger. "Your adorable by the way" with a cocky smirk overtaking your face. Before walking out with a howl of laughter as you leave the bar. Oh, Billy wanted payback, but at the same time he was sort found you interesting despite the chatterbox in you.

___

When Billy tracked you down once more his blood was pumping. Excitement was sort of in him as at the thought of catching you. Despite most of the other members of the Boys thinking it was over between you two, they didn't know about Billy's slight interest in you. Part of him denied it but found it utterly thrilling the dynamic between you two. Sort of like messing with a forest fire, it was hot and it'll spread but he wanted to fan the flames. Hughie was confused when he saw the sudden spark in Butcher, but didn't figure it out what could cause it. Billy was quick to leave without a second word when he came across something on his laptop.

Soon enough he was dashing out with his heart pumping wildly. Going to the location given he was surprised to end up at some random place. An apartment building? What could you possibly be doing here? He would've head in until he saw a guy fly out. There you were a tight leather orange outfit that outlined your curves. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail and your mask was up resting on your head. In your hand was a pepperoni pizza with a lot of cheese on it. "You know Dick, ha I can never get over that nickname. Dick. Just so funny," you say almost taunting manner as you walk to the guy on the ground. "I've heard of stalkers before, but your something else. Kiddnapping some poor lady dog! You monster." You crouch in front of him still munching on the pizza. "All because she said no to getting in your car. Aww, what stupid things we do when were young" you grin. "Listen here bub, I'm not here to kill you, unless Kiu calls it. But what I will tell you, since she said no blasting your brains out, I'm gonna do one simple thing. Wanna know?" You inquire with a grin. Shaken the guy let's out a whimper at this side of you. You pull out a knife and direct it at his family jewels. "I will cut off your manhood if I had to, but since she was generous to you, I'll let you go." Moving the knife away the guy was about to run before directed it at his Adam apple. "But know this, if Kiu calls me again about a pest problem, I will not hold back next time. Got it?" You say to just than finish your pizza but still hold a threatening manner in your eyes. The guy nods before you stand up. "Scram, before I change my mind. And give the dog back!" Quickly seeing the guy sprint to car and drive away fast.

Pulling the mask back on you dust your glove off and begin to walk away. Billy was surprised by this, your a mercenary but not only that a person with a heart. From what it hes just seen you protected a young woman from a crazed stalker apparently. Did you do these things often? He shook his head at it though. Now was the time to get you. You weren't paying attention until you were tackled to the ground.

About to fight the person off your wrist were grabbed and slammed to the ground. Than met the cocky grin of Billy fucking Butcher. "Hello love" he remarks back.

Smirking you held back a giggle but if peeked out a bit. "Man, this sucks. I usually prefer being on top," you say with a cocky grin. Billy was quick to grab you by the throat and slam you against the wall. "Kinky." You comment with a shit eating grin. "Could you go a little harder, can't you daddy?" Fake moaning at this predicament you've ended up in.

"For such a pretty face you have its hard not want to punch your fucking lights out" he remarks back to you.

"Trust me, pretty sure you'd love to see my lights get brighter" you remark back.

"In your dreams" he remarks back. "How much did Vought pay you for your hit? Did they know you missed my head?" He inquires to you.

"They paid me a million. All for you to mind your own dang business" you remark back. Than noticed the rain gutter pipe. "Nothing more than that handsome" you grin at the idea entering your head.

"Really? That's it?" He says unimpressed.

"What did you expect from them? There trying to play nice. But hey, I didn't care at first about the job. Than they mentioned money, and well money a nice thing to have to pay bills, you know?" You say preparing legs. "Still glad I didn't have my bullets kiss your brain either, darling." With still a cocky grin wiped on your face. "I really appreciate this cat and mouse dynamic between us. It's sort too irresistible to resist, well like me."

"Really? I think someone like yourself more likely has a thing for being tied up." He says with a victorious grin at you as if he won. You bucked your hips which caught him off guard. Than you kneed him in the junk and punched him across the face. Your hair that was tied in a ponytail fell apart partly getting your face. Than you took a grappling hook and tied his hands to the rain gutter pipe out. Tying his hands to the back of his head to it enough to where he could sit at least. Laughing at this defeat you take his phone and snap a picture of him. "Hey! What do you think your doing?" He inquires to you. Than your quick to send it to recent contact which is marked as Hughie.

"And frankly, I think you have a thing for being tied up in particularly by me" you remark tossing the phone by his knee. Than kneel in front of him. "But who doesn't after all?" You shrugged before packing his cheek and turned on your heels and pull your mask on. "Can't wait until the next time you find me again!" You wave with the back of your hand. Laughing to yourself as you saw Deshpande pulling up in his car. "Hataa almarat alqauidmat, eazizi!" Billy couldn't believe he ended up in this situation again. To think he had you, but fell for your charm, but he couldn't help it, it was hypnotic. Like a drug, but he couldn't wait to chase you down again.

#the boys amazon #homelander #the boys #billy butcher #frenchie #mothers milk #the boys season 2 #black noir #billy butcher x reader #starlight x hughie #hughie campbell #x reader

[brightlilies-a]

   cracks knuckles. i’ve long put off rewriting this one, if not because it’s not an easy or concise subject matter to discuss, so bear with me. . . ! spoilers for dnc & 5.0 msq (though the latter is lighter, so i can expand on it later with a broader scope).

   headcanon, re: purpose.    * partially rewritten from my old blog & otherwise including new stuff.

   what’s your purpose?

   if you had asked him that question during a realm reborn and heavensward, he’d wholeheartedly answer that all he wants to do is have the strength to protect others. the funny thing is that it’s a purpose that was given to him——not because he’s the warrior of light or because people are relying upon his continued success, but because it was something his older brother, albi’a, said near constantly prior to the calamity. they were to use their strength to ensure the safety of the tribe, and when they would eventually be outcast, that strength would become something to protect others with. power was meant to protect——that was all it ever meant to albi’to.

   ‘course, after albi’a’s death at carteneau and his mother pushing him to become an adventurer seemingly on a whim, albi’to ultimately ended up parroting that sentiment for a good chunk of time. if someone asked why he was an adventurer, it was always to gain the power to protect, with no deeper thought to it. he believed his would-be mantra, sure (if he hadn’t, he would have never approached the gladiator’s guild, nor walked the path of a paladin), but the words were never something that were his. they were the remnants of a promise left unfulfilled, acting as a buoy for a young man with little else to cling to in the vast, churning ocean of heroics and intrigue that was swiftly becoming his life.

   putting it like that and only looking at it from that perspective, however, makes it seem insincere——and it’s not. albi genuinely wants to protect people. he’s kind and compassionate to others because he’s had a rough go at life and he doesn’t want anyone to go through what he did. he lost his home and much of what he considered his family only to be shuffled into a place that didn’t even want him all at once, and yet, he keeps his optimism (even if at times, he didn’t think he could.). so he often sympathizes, even with people he possibly shouldn’t, and wants to keep them safe.

   but, then again, stormblood happens. namely, in crimson it began happens, as all things inevitably return to zenos. zenos, who is so uncaring to things that don’t interest him, set against albi, who feels so much toward everything and everyone. and yet, the power albi had obtained to protect others wasn’t enough. the conviction he’d allowed to guide him through combating ultima weapon and the whole of the dragonsong war fell short suddenly. the scar on his shoulder is an ugly reminder of his loss, but his shattered shield, like haurchefant’s, reinforces a reality that, for a while, he’s afraid of: he can’t protect everyone.

   so he shifts jobs to samurai, thinking if he gets stronger he can brute force his way through it. he can still protect people, but maybe he doesn’t need a shield to do it. maybe all he needs is a stronger sword that will stop threats in their tracks. but the foundation of his (brother’s) belief that the strong will always be able to protect the weak is cracked, and patches 4.4 onward really reinforce that. for much of stormblood though, there isn’t any time to waver, so the problem only rears its head once the scions start getting called away and he’s helpless to do anything to stop it. yet again, he can’t stop what’s happening, not to the people he cares so much for, and no amount of power is going to help him.

   albi doesn’t do well on his own, as he’s never really had to face who he is and process his own identity. he tends to ensure other people are near him, hiding most of his insecurities through being overly social and directing conversation away from himself. so much of the time between 4.5 part 1 and 4.5 part 2 is very, very rough on him, because he’s holding on so tightly to the image of the warrior of light people want and expect from him, punishing himself for not being able to help the people he’s losing, and ignoring those who are still around’s concerns for him. part 2 of the patch helps, as aymeric reminds him that he isn’t alone, and tataru opens his eyes to the fact he can’t keep bottling everything up and trying to handle these things on his own anymore, which are both things he desperately, desperately needs to hear at that point.

   so while they’re out looking for the crystal tower beacon… he’s not alone, and he’s doing better to include the others in what he’s doing so they can help, but it’s not perfect. it’s hard when he isn’t the same bright-eyed kid that walked into the waking sands at thancred’s behest. he’s still loud and energetic, but he’s begun to mellow out somewhat from everything he’s been through and witnessed.

   above all else, though, he’s come to terms with the truth he once feared: he can’t protect everyone; sometimes, he can’t even protect himself. which brings us back to that initial question of purpose.

   if he cannot protect with his shield and if his blade alone cannot wield enough power, then what’s left to guide him on his way? he’s relied on the scions’ support for so long, and while he’s always done what’s expected of him, he’s never really had much to offer outside of being the eikon slayer or the muscle. but while he’s not allowed to help search for the beacon himself, it gives him plenty of time to find another answer for himself, which he does on a wayward trip to limsa lominsa to visit his sister.

   “ put another way, bringing joy and succor to the scorned and the suffering is no less than our calling in life. ” - nashmeira, a soirée in the sultanate.

   while he’s never offered much besides being a weapon, albi has always had a naturally charismatic personality. he likes people, enjoys their company, delights in bringing them together and building them up. which, in some ways, goes hand in hand with being the warrior of light——sowing hope where despair otherwise reigns is simply part of being the realm’s champion, even if he isn’t fond of the title himself. so the thought of supporting the people around him is one that is more secondhand nature than parroting what his brother said while he was alive, and one that comes more naturally to him.

   natural affinity for and history of dance aside (because this isn’t about that), it’s a job that suits him infinitely better than swinging a sword around. and not because he’s simply good at dancing, but because being a dancer is about supporting the people around oneself, lifting their spirits and unburdening hearts, leaving a bit of joy and happiness in his wake. it isn’t something done alone; it requires a partner or an audience.

   and traveling with troupe falsiam, brief as it might’ve been, truly assured him that he wanted to do nothing more with his life. fighting the absolutely horrible monsters born out of the sorrow in people’s hearts, seeing their burdens manifest like that, it hurt, sure. but he had the ability to help those people, so he would. and he will, because in the end it’s what he wants to do. mistress nashmeira’s words ring true in a way he wholly agrees with——his purpose isn’t to protect people or to fight their battles, but to bring joy and help the helpless. to do as much as he can as kindly as he can, but not promise any form of salvation.

   because he’s not a god, nor is he infallible, and twelve does he know that.

   “ in a place like this, you learn to take what little moments of happiness you can get. “ - tesleen, the time left to us.

   of course, norvrandt puts this new purpose to its test swiftly. most people don’t have much of a reason to be happy, what with the end of the world being nigh. the people’s hearts are filled with doubts, shadows of disdain for the lot they’ve been given, and even by the time he goes to amh araeng to meet with alisaie (which he does first, given how things ended at ghimlyt dark), albi is keenly aware of the general condition. moreover, that it isn’t anything he can fix immediately, because as long as the main problem exists, people will continue to suffer after the fact.

   worse, having gone through what he did alongside troupe falsiam tends to make the events in norvrandt pull on his heartstrings uncomfortably. meeting f’lhaminn once more before seeing thancred struggle to let go of minfilia, dealing with the fuath wanting to make him theirs to perform again and again in endless fights on their drowned stage, watching the carers at journey’s head struggle to find even an ilm of kindness to share with the afflicted... not to mention eulmore in its entirety engorging itself on false happiness, there’s a lot that makes him hesitate. lightwardens, and knowing they were once people, make him sad, but he tries to view it as tesleen put it: the warrior of darkness comes to care for souls at their dying moment, to bring them somewhere hopefully better than where they are currently.

   not a promise of salvation, but a measure of kindness he can deliver to them. something that keenly fits along with the purpose he’s decided for himself, that isn’t asking him to be something or someone he isn’t.

#🏶: bloom in the dark. ( headcanon. ) #[ there's technically a second half to this i'll eventually get to bc pixies are. tenthands. v interesting as a dnc #but i wanna go back and grab screengrabs for specific instances and scenes so i'm not always creating giant text walls of meta #. v . but i've always liked this hc so i did wanna go back to address it with like. actual continuation since i originally wrote this back #in what? feb? march? somewhere around there. needs some updates. ]

[virmillion]

Ibytm - T minus 45 seconds

Masterpost - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - ao3

Words: 3,576

On a normal day, Logan will rise long before the sun, smiling at the sound of his pinging alarm clock and taking a luxurious moment to stretch his rested limbs before greeting the world with open arms.

Today is not a normal day.

His eyes stay stubbornly shut as his tingling hand fumbles around in the mess of blankets for his blaring phone. Virgil grunts softly from somewhere under the mound, and in the weak pre-dawn light, Logan can only just make out the ball curled up under the sheets.

When his fingers finally brush over his phone, sending shivers down his spine with the vibrations, he does his best impression of scrambling to turn it off. His sleep-addled body translates this command as wobbly sliding around for the snooze button, stubbornly ignoring the requirement to finish a set of math problems before the noise will stop.

“Should’ve never installed that fancy alarmy app,” Virgil grumbles as the ball shrinks in on itself. Logan squints at the full-brightness screen and scowls, mumbling the two digit multiplication problems to himself. Finally he succeeds, dropping the bedroom back into silence. An arm snakes out from the blankets and pats along Logan’s leg. “Good job, so smart. Go crush that meeting.”

Logan lifts Virgil’s jand and presses a kiss to his fingers, lingering in the moment for just a few more seconds. His own hand feels impossibly cold and empty as he changes and strides out of the room.

The kitchen—more of a kitchenette, really, but who’s keeping track?—is surprisingly high quality, given the deal Virgil managed to land on this place. Granted, it’s all a little cramped and bland, but Logan likes to think of it as ‘begging for an impromptu remodel.’ Which he manages to pull off, all in one go, as the broken keurig sputters to life, shooting wads of coffee grounds along the underside of the microwave.

Logan does not have the energy for it this morning.

He sets on a pot of real coffee to brew in time for Virgil to wake up and transfers the keurig disaster to his own travel mug, slipping in more sugar than it probably needs. He’s in for a long day.

Even the neighborhood is pretty nice, which was Virgil’s main concern when they were scoping out options. Compared to the people on those over-the-top reality shows, Logan thinks their requests were pretty darn reasonable. Close enough to the office to walk, in a nice part of town, and close enough to uber to the museum without completely punching a hole through their wallets. One downside to being so near to the office, though, is that Logan can never be that far from work. Not that this is a bad thing, per se—it’s just that, on the two days a year where he actually wants a break, he has to try that much harder to actually achieve it.

There are worse problems in the world to have, he supposes.

His work building looms tall and grey against the cold morning skyline, and the mere sight of it is enough to make him draw his shoulders to his ears. While he’s dressed nice enough for the meeting that could make or break his future, Virgil convinced him to wear the leather jacket over it.

“It’ll make you feel tough,” Virgil insisted, shoving the bundle of well-worn material into Logan’s arms the previous night. “Just enough of a confidence boost for you to nail the crap out of that meeting.”

Virgil wasn’t wrong, of course. Logan finds a certain bounce in his step as he bursts into the stale air conditioning and starts up the stairs. More of a placebo effect than anything else, but he’ll take what he can get. Especially today.

“Hey, Lo!” Micah exclaims, stumbling over his own feet as he bounds down the stairs.

“Gan. Logan,” Logan supplies, reaching out a hand to steady the overstuffed cardboard box in Micah’s arms. “Last trip?”

“Yeah, Alex is gonna bring home stuff I forgot as they find it. Half their desk is mine, basically.” Micah shoulders the drawstring bag around his back to the side, squeezing past Logan to get to the first floor landing. “It’s been a pretty solid run, though. Almost four years? That’s a good record for our floor managing to not kill each other.”

“That it is,” Logan agrees, almost to the next landing by now. It's a shame to see a good guy like Micah go, but internships aren’t permanent, and promotions aren’t guaranteed.

“Hey, wait!” Micah calls. Logan peeks over the spiral railing, now well on his way to the third floor. “Isn’t your big hunga chunga interview today?”

“Yeah, it is, actually. I don’t know when, though.”

“Well, whatever time they come for ya, best of luck. You deserve it.” Micah grins at Logan before scooting out of the stairwell, staggering under his box. Logan smiles to himself, forgetting to remove the expression before he exits onto the fifth floor. The first step in what could very well be a long line of mistakes.

“What’re you so happy about, specs?” Roman asks, appearing at Logan’s side and following him to his desk. “The only times I’ve seen you smile are when you’re with that museum guy.”

Logan takes a moment to breathe, reminding himself that it’s typically frowned upon to sock your coworkers in the jaw. “As I’ve told you several times now, his name is Virgil, and he’s not just some guy, he’s my boyfriend. There years not long enough for you to process that?”

“In my defense, we don’t hang out enough to be familiar.”

“We had lunch with you and Patton last week!”

“Yeah, yeah, bad short term memory.”

“Long term memory.” Logan slides open the third drawer on the right of his desk and pulls out a thick binder, filled to the brim and then some with papers and folders and cascading tab dividers. “Do you want to go to your own desk now?”

“Not really.” Regardless, Roman swings around to the desk that used to be Micah’s—with the intern moving on after more than four years of work, his prime spot desk was highly coveted real estate. The only reason Logan didn’t get it—by seniority, he had first dibs—was because he was used to his current desk. Not to mention the meeting coming up, of course. Ideally, he won’t even need his current desk after today.

Roman pops his head over the partition between Micah’s old desk and Logan’s, undoubtedly standing on the swivel chair for a better vantage point. “So, whatcha doin’?”

“Get off that chair before you hurt yourself. I’m going over major old assignments.” Logan regrets being honest the moment he says it. Now it’s a near guarantee that Roman will try to distract him. He was undoubtedly going to already, but still.

“Oh, right, you’ve got that huge meeting today! I completely forgot.” Roman folds his arms up over his chin, staying shockingly quiet as Logan riffles through the binder. “Hey, wait, that’s that dumb Neptune Theseus riddle!”

“Never did figure that one out,” Logan agrees absently. His eyes linger on the answer circled at the bottom, but he still isn’t convinced he had it right. He pulls the paper out farther.

“We’re seriously gonna get stuck on the Neptune thing again? Are we really digging up that horse to beat it some more? Hasn’t it suffered enough?” Alex groans, rolling over on their squeaky desk chair. While the office sprang for new furniture last year, they didn’t spring very far, since ‘gently used furniture from someone else is still new to you.’ This was met with no small amount of grumbles and dissent, all of which fell on deaf ears.

“No rehashing old riddles!” Cassidy chimes in. As her desk is now right beside Logan’s—replacing Joy’s old spot—she doesn’t have to move far to notice his overfilled binder. “Last minute studying?”

“Lil’ Lolo has his big ol’ test today,” Alex singsongs. “Watch him get higher than Mx. Oatmeal.”

“As if,” Logan scoffs, flipping to a different assignment. Calculating the landing point of a rocket being pulled down from orbit at a given time, assuming this malfunction and that overcorrection. He still isn’t completely convinced they didn’t just rip the problem wholesale from Hidden Figures. “And it’s not a test, it’s just a meeting to discuss my upward prospects. Don’t oversell it.”

“I promise nothing of the sort,” Cassidy says. “How much you wanna bet the promotion hinges on that Neptune riddle?”

“Gambling, I like it.” Roman reaches down the partition to snatch up the binder, ignoring Logan’s protests. “Woah, you’ve got things in here from your first week? You know that was all busy work, right? To scare off newbies who wouldn’t put in the work when it counted?”

“Give that back,” Logan demands, reaching toward Roman’s face. He easily holds the binder out of reach, still snooping through its contents.

“Wow, your handwriting really sucks, you know that?”

“Shut up, my mind moves too fast to bother with legibility.” It’s all Logan can do not to stand on his chair and grab back the binder. He’s smart, of course—there’s nothing incriminating on those pages—but he still doesn’t appreciate Roman invading his space like this.

“Illegible handwriting?” Alex repeats. “Sounds like you’re already one of them. Bet you’ll even surpass Joy.” The mention of her name draws the attention of some of the newer interns, whose names Logan hasn’t yet managed (or bothered) to learn. It wasn’t too long ago that Joy got promoted—in the last few months, actually—but she was still on the floor long enough to gain a reputation among the newbies. Her sudden promotion, completely unprompted, elevated her to a godlike status in the eyes of the new kids, all fresh to the inner workings of the program. At least, that’s why Logan assumes they looked up at her name.

He isn’t sure whether he’d love it or hate it if all these little interns would worship him like that.

Before Roman can pitch in his own two cents about the first inexplicable promotion situation, the elevator doors ping open, revealing Joy leaning against the mirrored wall. Cassidy leaps to her feet and sprints across the floor, wrapping her friend in a tight hug.

“You need to come visit us more,” Cassidy says sternly, pushing Joy back by the shoulders to fix her with a pinched stare.

“Acknowledged,” Joy says, barely lifting her chin. The cold silence lasts only a few moments before her facade cracks, revealing a bright smile as she squeezes Cassidy in a close embrace. “Butterfingers around here?”

Logan scrambles to yank his binder back from Roman and hide it in its usual drawer before answering, “I’m over here.”

Joy nods brightly as Cassidy carefully extricates herself from the boa constrictor hug. “Well, better get going, if you’re ready. They bumped the meeting from seventh to ninth, by the way.” She waits patiently for Logan to join her in the elevator, seeming to not notice the awed stares from the newbies. Logan isn’t particularly fond of the sustained silences from his more seasoned coworkers, either.

“Actually, I’d rather take the stairs, if it’s all the same to you.” Though Logan has historically taken the stairs for the exercise, he has a running promise with Virgil to avoid the elevator whenever possible. Virgil refused to specify why, but even if he’d never find out, Logan has no intention to go breaking promises when people aren’t looking. “I’ll just meet you up there?”

Joy hesitates, and Logan wonders whether he just completely screwed himself over, but her expression finally dissolves back into a grin. “Works for me.”

Logan takes the stairs two at a time, chased by the encouragement of his floormates. With every step, he jumps from one irrational worry to another. What if Joy thinks he thinks she stinks? What if she thinks he’s being uncooperative? What if she thinks he’s claustrophobic, and won’t be able to handle something so confined as a rocket? What if this is all a test, and he already failed?

He almost misses the ninth landing as his thoughts swarm. All that piloting time, straight down the drain.

The door can’t open fast enough.

Logan has just barely managed to force his breathing down to a normal level when the elevator door slides open, revealing Joy and—oh, great.

“She said I should come along!” Roman exclaims, bursting out of the elevator and jumping to Logan’s side. “That they might like a second opinion during your meeting.”

“Oh, great.”

“Yes, well, best be going,” Joy says, leading the boys down the hall to a set of floor to ceiling glass windows. Just beyond the frames is a long oak desk, ringed with cushy black office chairs. Logan wonders how many years it'll be until those become hand-me-downs for the fifth floor.

“I’m so excited,” Roman whisper-shouts. “I’ve never been up here before, besides for coffee runs.”

“This is where I leave you,” Joy says. She holds open the door and waves the boys in, patting Logan on the shoulder as he passes. “Good luck. You’re gonna crush it.”

“Fingers crossed.”

“Butterfingers?”

“Almond Joy.” A small smile spreads across Logan’s face as the door softly clicks shut behind them. Across the room is Mx. Oatmeal’s boss’s boss’s boss, Miss Katie-Lee, who literally and figuratively holds Logan’s future in her hands.

That is to say, she’s holding a model rocketship.

“Logan, please, have a seat.” She gestures to one of the several chairs, inclining her head slightly as Logan shakes her hand before sitting. “Oh, good, Roman, are you the second opinion I asked Joy to bring?”

“I am indeed,” Roman confirms, shaking her hand as well before sitting on Logan’s right. “Happy to be here, happy to help.”

“Happy to hear it,” Miss Katie-Lee says, taking her own seat opposite the boys. She pulls a stack of papers and folders from a nearby stool and spreads them out over the table. “Well, well, well, Logan, you sure have been busy these last few years, haven’t you? And I see here you have a change of mailing address, as well as the supplementary switch forms, very good, that’s what we like to see.” Miss Katie-Lee traces her finger down a bulleted list, mumbling to herself as she does. “Tuh tuh tuh, already a good amount of calculations under your belt, mostly correct, that’s always nice. Well on your way to completing the piloting hours, good to know you’re keeping that up. Recent physical on file, yes, sure deal, that makes this several worlds easier.”

She continues talking to herself, flipping between pages and glancing at Logan every so often for a nod of confirmation. “And Roman, you’ve worked closely with Logan, yes? Do you have any pertinent information to share regarding his performance?” She taps a little plastic cube set to the side meaningfully. “This is all being recorded, by the way. My apologies for not saying so sooner.”

Roman sits up straighter in his chair, and Logan immediately wishes he were a popsicle under the California sun. Oh, to be a puddle on the floor, free of the trials and tribulations involved in adult life.

“All on the record?”

“All on the record.”

Roman gives Logan a long look before opening his mouth again. Puddles would be a blessing at this point, Logan thinks. Logan would be wrong. “Logan is the single best intern I have ever seen working on the fifth floor. He easily works twice as hard as anyone on a higher floor—no offense—and I never see him without ink staining his fingers. He’s organized down to having a color coding system with his pens based on the difficulty and priority of his work. He’s the first one into the office and the last one out, and all the time in between is time he spends doing the best he possibly can.”

Roman laughs a little, and Logan finally feels his muscles relax, just the slightest bit. “I literally had to personally convince everyone to show up half an hour early today so we could beat him to being early. Basically, Logan is just a guy who really, really cares about what he does. There’s no one else I’d rather see at the top of this field.” Roman hesitates, glancing at Miss Katie-Lee. “Oh, um, not that you aren’t already doing a great—”

Miss Katie-Lee waves it off with a smile. “Thank you, Roman, that was more than sufficient. You can head back down to the fifth floor now.” Logan is still somewhere between numb and frozen as he watches Roman excuse himself, still processing the parade of compliments. He’d always assumed Roman merely tolerated his presence, since it would make being floormates easier than if they hated each other. Huh.

Shuffling the papers back into a neat pile, Miss Katie-Lee switches her gaze from the closing door to Logan. “Can I tell you a secret?” Logan nods, dumbfounded. “I already knew all that.” Logan blinks. “I’ve heard your praises sung by everyone in this building, from Mx. Oatmeal to Joy, to Micah at his resignation, all the way to the janitorial staff. They go out of their way to compliment how much easier you make their jobs, sticking around late to clean up after your floormates. To tell the truth, we’ve wanted to get you up here for a long while, but we just haven’t had an opening. A few transfers, a few drops, and now we find ourselves here.” Miss Katie-Lee folds her hands on the table, leaning in closer. “We want to start training you on level with Mr. Jolenta’s work.” Mr. Jolenta. Mx. Oatmeal’s boss. Logan feels more than a little light headed. “You would see an increase in pay, to be determined at a later date, as well as an increase in workload and hours. On the right path and at the right pace, I think we can get you where you want to go.” Logan nods dumbly, not completely processing her words. “So, what do you say?”

A million things race through Logan’s mind, each slipping out of his hands like an ice cube into boiling water when he tries to grab it. More pay. More hours. Less time with Virgil. A chance at the stars. A chance to move up. Time away from Virgil. Time away from home. Time, time, time. Never enough to give, never enough to take.

“I’d be happy to give you some time to consider—”

“I’m in,” Logan interrupts. His mouth didn’t even wait for his mind to decide, much less his heart. He’ll have to learn to get that under control.

“Well, we’re happy to have you on board,” Miss Katie-Lee says, standing and brushing off the front of her shirt. Logan shakes her hand firmly, thanking her for the opportunity and accepting a spotless new folder from her. He pulls the door shut as he leaves, determined to wait until he reaches his desk before looking at the papers.

The determination does not last longer than two minutes.

New benefits, new hours, new responsibilities, new calculation basics, new new new. The words and numbers and symbols flit around Logan’s mind, a deafening roar that blocks out the curiosity of his fellow fifth floor interns.

Can he call them his fellow interns anymore? He’ll have to ask Roman about that.

“So how’d it go?” Cassidy demands, slamming her hands on his desk and getting uncomfortably close to his face. Logan glances at Roman, whose face flushes pink when they make eye contact. He drops behind the partition.

“Spill it,” Alex adds, leaning on Logan’s chair. “It’s not like we didn’t notice that fancy new folder, or that almost smile on your face.”

Cassidy somehow manages to get even closer, and it’s a wonder Logan doesn’t flinch. “Stop the presses, Alex, I think that might be a genuine smile there.”

“Great Scott, she’s right! It’s a real smile! This is one for the papers, folks!”

Logan rolls his eyes and shakes his head good-naturedly, careful to keep the folder pinched shut. “Miss Katie-Lee just offered me a promotion, and Roman helped back up my credibility a little bit. It’s nothing major, really.”

“How high’s the promotion?” Roman’s voice asks. He’s still hiding behind the partition.

Logan glances around, well aware of the newer interns listening closely while doing a terrible job of pretending not to. “It, um, it’s on par with Mr. Jolenta?” It’s not a question, but he manages to make it one, anyway.

The floor is silent for a moment, two, as his words sink in. Alex breaks the silence first.

“Dude, nice!” This call is echoed across the floor, several voices tripping over each other to congratulate Logan. He nods, wearing a small smile and picturing how Virgil’s face will look when he shares the news. Or, wait, no, he’s supposed to be teaching Virgil how to make fettuccine alfredo tonight. That should obviously take precedence.

Then again, a promotion is pretty big. So is getting to cook with his boyfriend. Maybe he’ll tell him over dinner. Just imagining the look on Virgil’s face when he tells him is more than enough to double the size of Logan’s smile.

#labhwrites #mine #i'll bring you the moon #ibytm

[gg-astrology]

Can you please write about a virgo sun/sag moon combo? I don't find it particularly fair that my bf got to examine me under a microscope. Hahaha. 😂😂 And then sent u an anonymous msg to let u know his thoughts and screenshot it to me after he did that. 😅 He needs to be dissected too!!!! 😤😘😏 (Please open him up fully like how u'd eat a fish and remove its bones. Thank u.)- pisces sun/gemini moon gf speaking!!

I promised I’ll do this earlier on today so here I am 💕💕💕 

[Below Cut: Virgo Sun - Sagittarius Moon ☯️]

These people may not seem like they’re excited for anything, but in reality they’re like a kid bouncing and giddy at the thought of seeing their favourite movie

If they’re reaally reaaally nervous they’re the type to not sit still. Would rather pace around, check their phone, bounce their legs-- they do not care if they’re in public thEY’RE NERVOUS

See the thing here is that Virgo has self-preservation, has tact. They feel awkward showing/expressing that they care for something even when they KNOW it’s ok to care or that it’s expected of them to express it outwards.

(They may mumble, or try to not make eye-contact when they know there’s attention/expectations of people on them. It makes them nervous skdjfn) 

The Virgo/Sagittarius person makes for someone who internally would be having a melt-down but is kind of holding it together on the outside fairly well (poker face/functioning on automatic response)

If they’re really really effected, they become completely flustered on the outside (they feel their senses, like heat and sensory stuff would completely overwhelm them and shut down their brains sometimes) 

Embarrassment in particular, is an emotion they’re very familiar with the response to (feels strongly/intensely about-- cringe factor lvl 1000)

This is more to do with Virgo trying to control the main/body and it’s functioning responses. While Sagittarius is unable to process affectionate feelings in anyways besides explosive (earth/fire)

So while they may be having a complete melt down-- note that if you just take a deep breath, steady/meditate the mind to focus on one thought and then look straight in the face of someone else/something. You can gain control/power over the situation by being unexpectedly truthful and straight-forward about your feeling ONCE (1) in your life.

It’ll completely throw other people off-guard as well, all you need is a moment where the tide is turned in order to quickly grab onto the opportunity and slip back into your calm and smooth facade again.

Aaaah these people. They should realize that they’re actually rather sensitive (emotionally) people. Your environment, tension, stress daily behaviour affects you. If you don’t have enough balance and stimulation between all of those-- you may be prone to getting weak, fatigue, sick or vulnerable often.

Best way to do this is to focus on Virgo first-- Virgo is receptive to their environment, it detects tension and that activates it’s nervous nature. In order to help with this, try to NOT suppress -- let the emotion/anxiety be channeled into a concentrating/meditative state where you can think, analyze, feel or organize these things quickly instead.

Like,, it’ll feel like the emotions are overwhelming you and your first instinct is to shut down/push down-- that’s suppressing-- don’t do that (it’ll make you insensitive or unable to recognize emotionality later)

When it overwhelms you, think of it as like being underwater looking up at the water surface. You may have to hold your breath but if you’re underwater then you can be in a state of complete isolation where you’re only in your own head (that feeling) so you’ll have a better time organizing and recognizing feelings/emotions, knowing how they feel and in turn--- being able to let them past and wash over you instead of suppressing them on the first try.

Sounds good? Ok!

Next is Sagittarius Moon. Who is Always going to make it harder for you not to just be like ‘i g2g’ and abscond without your Virgo ‘wait--’ coming at them.

With Sagittarius Moon-- it’s best to balance it by taking pre-cautionary action. Balance is the key. You have to take some alone time and a ‘change in environment’ some what. Being in the same place or with the same people are stressful for you, because you are receptive to their energy and the exterior environment is where you gain your moods/emotional help as well.

Take walks, schedule a time where you can be alone and have time to contemplate or think about stuff. Have time to take in environments, the trees, the birds, anything at all. Recognizing your sensitivity and receptiveness to others in this way, helps you also acknowledge that you are more sensitive than you realize.

(The thing with Virgo/Sagittarius is that they are so dense to their sensitivity sometimes. Like just as sensitive as a Pisces. But they don’t think they are. Geminis are even less sensitive than them. 

The whole point of this is for them to identify the extent of their sensitivity so they can go ‘oh shit I really am that bitch’ and then learn how to accept that as part of their identity. It’ll help them a lot in humanizing themselves, and being ok with NOT being awkward expressing emotions/vulnerabilities as well. )

 You can’t-- however, walk away from a situation/confrontational fight by changing your environment. Technically you can, and it’ll help you with calming down a lot. But the whole point of this is a release of your inner tension, your internal emotions you may have kept bottled up. You are delicate and very sensitive, yet you don’t allow yourself to get in touch with your femininity as well. (Or rather, everyone has feminine/masculine sides to them. But Virgo/Sagittarius are more used to/prone to exerting their ‘masculine’ side that their feminine side gets completely ignored/swallowed up by it) ---Make sure to check yourself.

These people are generally very considerate-- with Virgo wanting to help others productively/practical things and Sagittarius being a generous sign. These people may have an abundance of personal popularity from others flocking to them (as healers) -- but watch that these people who flock to you aren’t going to take advantage of you (especially since you have loyalty, and be reluctant to doubt those you’ve already committed yourself to) nor getting into bad situation/habits because you don’t want to leave them.

Virgo/Sagittarius people also make for someone who’s quite thoughtful, often has acute minds and able to bring big ideas into smaller details.

They are cautious somehow-- yet also exasperatedly terrible at keeping it completely serious. It’s like when they thought the moment is ‘too stressful’ they have this need to ‘lighten’ the atmosphere-- which can be good, but also bad. 

Because if the situation is ‘heavy’ and needs a confrontational style of approach-- they can be triggered into running away form it again (has to find an escape route ready, can be prone to redirecting or averting attention away from then in confrontations-- something they may need to work on in accepting criticism about themselves especially. ) 

These people would rather show you through action and demonstration, than their words which can sometimes be too heavy/burdensome for them to bear. Despite being a Mercury sign, Virgo native are quite awkward and timid (shy) inside as well. 

Virgo/Sagittarius combination has large pools of tolerance, patience and methodical approach to others. Yet they can also be impulsive, striking out or acting out when they feel like they’ve been ‘cooped’ up for too long.

Finding balance--- again, between getting in touch with both your feminine and masculine nature is good for you. Yin and yang, this will help you further since your Sagittarius is idealistic, and Virgo is pragmatic. In figuring out the bigger scope of your self-development. And that is to become something with your life, no?

You have passion, but you have no where to put them. You have the willingness to work hard, but what for. Only by stabilizing yourself can you figure out how to tie these two things together in a way that doesn’t distinguish each other’s significance. You don’t have to sacrifice anything, either your fire moon or your earth sun. You just have to learn how to let it work best intertwined with each other (united as your strength)

If impulsivity is your issue, then integration of fire x earth and understanding your reason for impulsivity-- your sensitivity is your cure.

Do you see what i mean? It’s more than just meets the eye with you. if you have trouble with something, it’s coming from your inner depth that you’re out of touch with.

Not anyone can take you/help you with soul-searching, but you can definitely learn and grow from others who are more in-touch with themselves than you are (especially Pisces)

(one last note: you may find it hard to NOT express your opinions/beliefs and may be too straight-forward about it sometimes. This might compromise your considerate nature abit. Make sure to keep in mind that you ARE considerate, so that you can act like it and maybe hold your tongue a little. If you feel uncomfortable with it--- good, that means you have more soul-searching to do!🐝)

That’s it!! 💕💕 Ahh I hope this is helpful and I hope you got something out of it?? If it sounds like something you might not be familiar with....I hope you can give it a few more reads later on in life and maybe reflect on it a lil anyways 💕 

sdkjnkdngfknksknf im glad to help you out and get you this analysis so you can roast your boyfriend 💕 I feel like (to the gf) if you can help him with this too, it’ll be really nice for both of you since you may have a productive avenue to exert some of your pisces/gemini energy into as well 💕

Good luck!! 💕💕💕 

#virgo sun #sagittarius moon #virgo #sagittarius #virgo-sagittarius #anon #asks

[mktbulls-blog]

Retirement: Key Traits of Successful Financial Advisors

Retirement Planning: Key Traits of Successful Financial Advisors For many people, the active management of investment finances often becomes an overwhelming challenge.  Significant pitfalls can be encountered when mistakes are made, and this is the primary reason a financial advisor strives to provide the guidance that is needed to achieve long-term financial goals.   The term financial advisor is generally used to describe someone that helps with investment management, taxes, retirement strategy, and general financial planning.  Of course, not all investment strategies are created equal, and there are many different types of financial professionals. Depending on the type of specialty that is needed, some financial professionals may not be sufficiently qualified to meet the requirements of every investment situation. This is why it’s always a good idea conduct research beforehand so that it is possible to learn about what’s available and decide on the type of financial advisor that will be best-suited to deliver favorable results. Under ideal scenarios, investment advisors can help navigate the treacherous waters of economics and money management to offer support on the journey toward achieving financial freedom during the later stages of life. What exactly is a financial advisor? First and foremost, a financial advisor works as a coaching mentor to help explain when it’s best to make certain financial decisions.  Most are experienced in analyzing what’s happening in the financial markets and translating that information into actionable strategies which positively impact individual financial circumstances.  Some financial advisors will have more expertise in one area rather than another, so it’s critical to assess individual needs first and then pair those requirements with an advisor’s strengths and abilities.   For example, one advisor may specialize in stock recommendations while others might create an entire financial plan that includes estate recommendations, tax strategies, and insurance planning.  This is why financial advisors are often separated into two different categories: investment advisors and financial planners. We sat down with financial advisor coach Stan Mann to ask questions and learn about which strategies tend to work best for high net worth clients.   What are three important traits seen in successful financial advisors? Stan Mann: From a marketing standpoint, three characteristics of successful financial advisors are: 1. They understand that effective marketing is crucial for their success. A financial advisor who is a competent marketer will be much more successful than an excellent financial advisor who is not a good marketer. 2. Successful financial advisors implement their knowledge. They go out in the field and put it into action. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power. 3. They have a marketing plan that they follow step-by-step. It is based upon the fundamentals of marketing: strategies and tactics. They adopt specific strategies and implement tactics to achieve their goals. For instance, a webinar strategy would include tactics like: Writing a direct mail letter or email inviting prospects to a presentationMaking a website to maximize conversionsCreating a powerful presentation that employs powerful video marketing techniquesMay decide to place an ad in their local paper What challenges do financial advisors face in this year’s market environment? Stan Mann: One big challenge financial advisors face in this year’s market environment is the flood of marketing messages. This makes it very difficult for an individual financial advisor to be heard. Therefore, a financial advisor needs to be unique and different from its competitors, so he stands out from the crowd. Another challenge is that people want to work with specialists, so advisors need to specialize in solving a particular problem for a specific group of people. They need to choose a niche. What is one easy step financial advisors can take to attract more clients? Stan Mann: Create a headline for your business that concisely tells who you help and how they benefit from your services. Some examples are: Helping families and business owners develop a sound financial strategy; Agent with New York Life offering personal and retirement protection; I help Ford Motor Company executives make the best use of the retirement options. Is there anything else struggling financial advisors should know to achieve better success rates? Stan Mann: Marketing alone will not sell big-ticket items that are provided by financial advisors. The goal of marketing is to get a sales interview. At that point, the advisor takes over and needs to convert the prospect and eventually enroll them in all their financial planning services, from investment management to estate planning. Role of Financial planners Financial planners tend to offer broader specialties, which can vary widely in scope.  Some financial planners are able to create personalized financial plans for clients that cover everything from investments to household budgeting and estate planning.   As a result, these services are typically more comprehensive in nature. But they can also vary widely from one financial planner to another. Other financial planners may only be able to offer a limited number of services, so it is important to be clear availability before entering into contractual agreements. One formal distinction many find preferable is the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) designation, which requires a bachelor’s degree (or higher) from an accredited college, extensive coursework confirmed through a board-registered educational program and successful completion of the CFP certification exam.  CFP certification status can also be verified through the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards. Role of Investment advisers In contrast, an investment advisor tends to be more specialized in terms of the advice and services that are made available.  Investment advisors help clients to understand the true value of securities and construct strategies for developing an asset portfolio.  Investment advisors can be a firm or an individual person, and they typically analyze the value of stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and other market instruments.   A good investment advisor can assess a client’s financial goals and give recommendations to buy, sell or hold certain assets depending on current market conditions.  Some individual investment advisors hold certification as a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA), which is a highly regarded classification in the field of economics. When is financial advice needed? Over the course of a person’s lifetime, financial goals will often evolve and change in ways that can be unpredictable.  Events like a death in the family or major career change can negatively influence personal finances. When big changes occur, it can be helpful to get an expert’s perspective and to get a second opinion before making any important financial decisions. Here are some examples of life situations which could benefit from expert advice from a finance professional: 1. Starting financial planning in early career In the early years, it might feel as though the future is infinite and that there is no rush to begin financial planning.  But the reality is that it is never to early to start building a financial strategy for the road ahead, and a financial advisor might be able to help avoid many of the pitfalls and mistakes commonly encountered by newbies.   Creating a personal budget, securing a mortgage, or preparing an investment portfolio can all be made easier with the help of a seasoned professional. 2. Getting married Properly dealing with touchy money issues could turn out to make all the difference when developing the financial future with a new spouse.  New household unions can create a completely different set of financial challenges, and it is always a good idea to gain advice from people that have encountered those challenges themselves. 3. Entering middle age Entering the period of middle-age can present its own set of challenges, and these are the years many people must pay college tuition for their children.  In addition to this, the period of middle-age is also when many people begin to look at new savings strategies for the retirement years. 4. Preparing for retirement Reaching the pre-retirement years can be a transformational period in a person’s life.  Most people don’t know how much money will be needed in order to achieve security after a career is finished.  These are critical questions which can have dramatic ramifications if things are not planned correctly, and a financial adviser can help make preparations to achieve security in the years that follow. 5. Planning for later years Once a person finishes a working career, it is time to start asking some critical questions.  Will it be possible to continue living comfortably on savings? Are potential health expenses adequately covered?  Will children, family, and loved ones be secure in the event of an untimely passing? Checking in with a financial can help with the answers to these questions and keep things on track for a secure future.  Retirement comes with its own unique set of “what-ifs” but proper financial planning can help to reduce the number of potential uncertainties. The Bottom Line No matter what stage of life a person has reached, a little support and guidance can always be valuable and there are many options available when it comes to selecting a financial advisor.   Financial experts are able to assess complex economic situations and devise strategies to benefit from the natural ebb and flow of the market. Partnering with an investment expert can provide the guidance needed to avoid the stress and uncertainties that are often encountered in various stages in life, and the best financial advisors are able to offer hands-on support and individually tailored strategies to help achieve a strong financial future.   For this article, we interviewed Stan Mann, Financial Advisor Coach and Founder of StanMann.com. Read the full article

#FinancialPlanner #PersonalFinance #Retirement #StockInvesting

[lyinar]

Lyinar’s Book Recommendations, Volume III!

This one’s going to require a bit of context.  One of my main hobbies, aside from reading and video games is tabletop gaming.  In particular, miniature wargaming, specifically Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 (the fantasy and sci-fi ‘verses, respectively, of a British company called Games Workshop).  GW also has a branch devoted to publishing novels in their settings, and I’ve enough of those books that they surpass my Discworld collection (one hell of an achievement, that...).  Out of them all, my favorite series focuses on a particular Imperial Guard Commissar named Ciaphas Cain.

Commissars are men and women responsible for discipline and morale over entire regiments of the Imperial Guard, the bog-standard human soldiery of the Imperium of Man, armed and armoured with what the fandom tend to refer to as flashlights and t-shirts (actually extremely powerful weapons and armor by modern standards, just not up to the terrifying equipment of the poster-boy army for the game).  They have a somewhat-deserved reputation as grim fanatics of the Imperial Creed.  They have the authority to overrule generals and can summarily execute soldiers.  Ciaphas Cain is what would happen if a militarily-competent slacker like Mat Cauthon from the Wheel of Time, or Shunsui Kyouraku from Bleach, more enamoured of wine, women, and song than righteous ass-kicking, ended up in such a position.  In short, Hilarity Ensues.

The series is presented as Cain’s private memoirs, recovered and edited into publishable chunks after his death by an Inquisitor he was quite close to in life, for dissemination to her colleagues in the Inquisition to help them understand how someone of his reputation could be the way he really was, and give them insights into fighting the things whose defeats built said reputation.  Speaking of Discworld, Inquisitor Amberley Vail ends up putting an amount of footnotes that would impress the late Sir Pterry into the story to clarify various bits and add her own snarking to her dead lover’s already prodigious amount (Cain’s every bit the First-Person Smartass that Harry Dresden is).

While the very first Cain story (a short story set during his very first experience in battle) shows him in the light of the coward he thinks he is to the very end, by the middle of his career (oddly enough, the first novel), it’s pretty apparent that he’s dead blind to his own growth as a person.  Complicating the matter is that the actions he tends to take in the interest of saving himself also tend to end up saving entire planets, either by him realizing his best chance to survive is meeting some horrible enemy head-on before it manages to gain a better foothold, or by circumstances gleefully tossing him into the jaws of such an enemy as he runs off on some make-work errand to keep himself out of the thick of the fighting and uncovers something far worse than what his soldiers are facing.  He’s also an extremely skilled swordsman and marksman, and has something of an ace in the hole in the form of his aide, Gunner Ferric Jurgen.  Jurgen is something far rarer than even a genuine HERO OF THE IMPERIUM: a psychic Blank.  Someone whose psychic presence registers as a void in the Warp, which negates the abilities of psychic powers at the expense of making him quite literally supernaturally unlikable (Cain is literally one of three people in the entire series who genuinely likes Jurgen as a person, and one of the others is Inquisitor Vail, whose recognition just how useful his abilities are supersedes that by quite a bit).

Along with the badassery and ambiguity of just how much of Cain’s antics are genuine heroism and how much is him striving to keep up the Humble Hero mask and maintain his reputation, there is quite a bit of humour, especially for books from the setting whose fandom coined the term “Grimdark” (from 40k’s tagline, “In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war”).  It ranges from pointing out how the stereotypical “HERESY! *BLAM!*” Commissars tend not to last too long and the lengths Cain goes to avoid such a fate, to massive amounts of shout-outs to pop culture stuff, to Cain’s own snark.  In particular, Khornate fanatics never get a chance to finish their battlecry of “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!” without someone snarking at them in response (usually just prior to ending them).

I like the series for the humour and action (I wasn’t kidding when I said I re-read the series to cheer myself up after finishing Harry Potter), and the interesting window into the realities of the setting that the rulebooks never really touch on.  And there’s one particular thing that I outright applaud the author for.  When facing a dwindling party situation trying to get out of the utter horror of an active Necron base (back before the game got rid of one of their most terrifying units, cyborgs made from Blanks like Jurgen that literally caused terror in enemy troops), the two soldiers who make it out with Cain and Jurgen are a LESBIAN COUPLE.  That’s right, a book in THE Grimdark setting outright defied the “Bury Your Gays” trope, and even goes a fair bit further than merely implying that the two of them made it through because of their relationship giving them the strength to go on.

If you’ve read my previous entries in this series, you can probably guess at least part of what my next post for it is going to be: Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.  Granted, the sheer scope of it means it’s more properly going to be my next FEW book recommendation posts.  I’ll be starting with the sub-series that got me into it, in fact: The City Watch.

#BookRecommendations

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #44

UPDATE 44: The Mastermind and the Hero

Last time Taylor had taken a decision on what to do now that her former plans of betraying the Undersiders were revealed. She doesn’t want to be a hero, returning to the group is not an option...what is left? She took a decision, which isn’t mentioned here, so it’s going to be interesting and a surprise. Let’s continue with the intermission to finish this arc.

The moment I read the first sentence of this intermission I know it’s going to be good.

Coil held firmly to the philosophy that one couldn’t be too paranoid.

Coil, huh. Rather fitting for him to be the focus of this intermission, given the circumstances. He’s a rather important character right now, this is a good chance to see more of how he thinks and behaves. Besides, he’s interesting, and his power is one I have a lot of curiosity for. I already have high expectations for this interlude!

There are two realities right now, no indication on which one Coil will choose in the end. To make optimal use of his power – I think – he is in rather different situations, almost opposite to each other. In one he is at his hideout, with all those soldiers. In the other he is with what I imagine is his civilian identity, going to work and living in a neighborhood that’s not as flooded as the rest of the city. I see, I see. Hm.

To all appearances, he was an ordinary man leaving for work.  His identity, fabricated, was complete, a real job at a real company, records going back ten years in health, taxes, dentistry, house payments and more.

How odd...so he had to fabricate an identity, huh. I wonder why he had to do that? I mean, before he got his powers and all, I suppose he had an identity, didn’t he? Could it be Coil’s civilian identity is thought to be dead? Or in prison? Or in any other circumstances that would make it really inconvenient for his real name to be revealed? There must be something going on here...but I’m not sure what it could be. Maybe it’s just his paranoia. He said it, you can’t be too paranoid.

Coil’s favorite henchmen were those who had, hm, a hook, a vice or something they needed on a primal, desperate level.  Thanks to that kind of thing, it was easier to obtain their loyalty, since he could provide what they need. I suppose those are the perks of being hella rich and having a power like his, that he has ways to give those people what they want.

Well, they were the Travelers, Creeps and Grues of the world.

I wonder what he offered to the Travelers and Grue? Maybe the reason why the Travelers were nomadic is because they were looking for something, and they finally have the chance to obtain it thanks to Coil? That’d explain why they’d stick around. And Grue...well, my thought is that it could be related to his sister. He would do anything for her.

Coil puts on his costume while on the back of a van a person known as Creep will drive. They’re going to the construction site, to the hideout. He is considering ditching his civilian identity and sticking to the Coil identity permanently. I don’t know, wearing that costume 24/7 has to get uncomfortable at some point. Hah! Okay, no, for real, people may notice the civilian identity disappearing, perhaps? Well, maybe not, if he doesn’t socialize much and has an isolated lifestyle. He seems the kind of person that’d have that kind of lifestyle.

Coil’s underground base had fallen just beyond the scope of the massive lake in the middle of downtown.  Had the crater extended another forty or fifty feet, it might have done more than crack the interior walls, cost Coil months of time rather than days, hundreds of thousands rather than thousands.

Lucky guy. Well, maybe it’s for the better. If the base had been affected more, Dinah could have been in danger.

Speaking of Dinah, the first thing he does is go see her and ask what seem to be routine questions: if there will be trouble during the next hour, and if there will be trouble before lunchtime. Both answers are met with rather low percentages of trouble, so he deletes the reality where he stayed up all night gathering information. Ah, so that’s how he does it...interesting. As soon as he deletes those, he divides reality again.

He often wondered if he really was creating the realities, or if it was solely in his perception, foretelling futures to the extent that they hinged on his actions. He’d asked his Tattletale, and she hadn’t had an answer for him.

Who knows. In my opinion, it looks more like the second possibility. It’s not that I think it’s impossible for someone to be creating split timelines and all that, it’s more like...I think if a new timeline was created, other stuff would change other than what Coil affects with his actions and plans, it’d all divert more than it does according to this power. I think it’s more like foresight depending on his own actions.

He also ensures his actions in each timeline differ a lot. I suppose that’s smart, it helps know what would happen depending on drastically different actions. Here he divided the timelines. In one he goes with his captains, in the other he surveys the base.

He owned the company that had built the underground shelters in Brockton Bay and neighboring cities.  Hiding the details on his base in construction was a matter of intercepting information at the right time and place, paying with his own money rather than the city’s, controlling what was reported and to whom.

He owns that company? Well! That explains how he managed to hide this secret base without anyone noticing. I suppose he’s adding the same protections the rest of the shelters have – and more than that, because I bet he’s giving his own base perks the other shelters don’t have. Making it sturdier or something.

The Travelers’ room is ready, there’s even a containment facility for…uh…I forgot her name, dang. You know who they’re referring to. The worse she feels, the stronger her powers are, if I remember correctly. It’s no surprise a containment facility is needed for her. At least the rest of the Travelers are here to keep her more or less calm and as harmless as possible.

One of the reasons why he makes timelines so different is because he doesn’t like to talk with important subordinates without having a…failsafe, a reality to escape to just in case something goes wrong. The information stays, and none of the consequences happen.

Now that I think about it, what happens if Coil dies in one of the timelines? Is it deleted automatically and all returns to the one he is alive in? Does the timeline where he died continue intact? I wonder…

Okay, I didn’t expect to see background information on this Mr. Pitter guy. His is a rather tragic backstory, he was an exemplary nanny until he tried to divorce and his former wife ruined his life. Coil made that wife disappear, and that bought his undying loyalty.  Not so tragic anymore! But hey, he is perfect to deal with Noelle’s complicated situation. Noelle, that’s her name. I won’t forget it ever again.

Once Mr. Pitter sadistically wakes up Trickster after just three hours of sleep, Coil takes the reins of the situation.

“Thank you,” Coil replied, “I would like to speak with your friend, downstairs.  Past experience has suggested this works best if you act as an intermediary.”

I don’t know, I think that’s bound to upset Noelle, even if Trickster is here. This is going to be rather delicate. Not that…Coil will be in trouble, if talking with Noelle goes pear-shaped, he can go to his other timeline.

“Nothing definitive.  I had intended to introduce Tattletale from the Undersiders to this situation, ask her for her opinions.  That is, if she doesn’t already have some idea of what’s going on.  Either way, her talents might turn up some details we have missed.”

“Had intended? I take it that she can’t, now, because of what happened at the hospital?”

“Something like that. She’s informed me that there’s currently difficulties within her group and requested that I not distract her or give her tasks until things have been settled ‘one way or the other’.  Her words.”

I think Trickster will have an idea of what Tattletale meant. He was there when the events of that chapter happened, recording it in his phone, he may be aware of Skitter’s alignment and can imagine they’re trying to deal with her. Heck, I wouldn’t blame him if he thinks ‘one way or another’ is an euphemism for ‘we’re giving her brand new cement shoes’. Not that anyone in the Undersiders would want to do that.

Okay! Meeting Noelle won’t be as risky as I thought it’d be! They can do it from outside the vault, there’s an intercom there. Noelle shows her face, it’s obvious she isn’t having a good time. The construction noise may have made her antsy, so she was locked here, and she doesn’t like it. Hm. I hope this room is soundproof – what am I saying? Coil isn’t stupid. I bet it is soundproof!

Noelle sounds rather coherent. That may be a good sign. She is lonely, she can’t call anyone – well, she can, but she thinks Trickster and Oliver are busy all the time (she may or may not be right) and Mr. Pitter is a creepy man. I mean, if he gave Coil pause then yeah, he must be really creepy. His lack of reaction here doesn’t cement him as the poster boy of kindness and personality.

Huh. So...what Coil promised in exchange for the Travelers’ cooperation was to fix Noelle? That’s a really tall order.

“You’ve been working on that for a month now!”  She began to shout, which only added to the gravelly quality of her voice, “Fix this!  Fix me! You did this to me, Krouse!”

Oh man, that sure is opening a can of worms! Let’s see...by Krouse she means Trickster, because Coil says Trickster is not to blame. Then could it be possible Trickster accidentally triggered Noelle’s awakening? Did he cause her trigger event? That’s my theory here, that something he did made Noelle gain the powers she hates so much. In that case, is Trickster taking her with them because he feels guilty about it, perhaps? Come on, give more details!

No details. Coil gets rid of this reality, having confirmed Noelle is getting worse. He positions himself into the reality where he is going with his captains.

Okay, Coil seamlessly gains consciousness about what happened in the other timeline, without reacting not even a little bit! I wonder how it felt the first few times? How did he find out how his power works? Golly, there are so many details I want to know and no time to get them. I think that says a lot about Mr. Wildbow’s writing, that it makes me keep wondering about stuff, and it’s not because plot holes or anything like that, it’s because it’s so interesting and it also makes me wonder how the characters react.

Coil uses his knowledge to good use. Trickster shall sleep, Noelle will be given double rations so she has nothing to complain about – except, you know, that she isn’t getting any better. And, just in case, the vault will be reinforced. Another door, mostly. Yeah, he had said Noelle was getting worse, didn’t he? This is an obvious precaution.

Better ask Dinah the usual questions. Routines are important. The numbers haven’t changed at all, but there are new questions here, so it’s not like this is a repeated scene. Interesting questions, right here.

“The chance my grand plan is a success, ignoring any uses of my powers?”

“Seventy two point two zero zero two one percent.”

And that is without using his powers? Wow, Coil’s work has been really effective! It’s not a hundred percent, and there’s no reason for him to ever stop using his powers – percentages can change at the drop of a hat, we already saw that – but this is a good way to measure his progress.

Interestingly enough, the number was better than it had been before Leviathan attacked.

Hmmm...maybe that’s not so surprising. Someone among the capes who died may had the potential to be a significant player in any way to try to stop Coil. Kaiser is my first thought, but it could have been a hero, many died, including local ones.

Coil also tries to find out the odds the Undersiders’ problems will be resolved. When that turns out to be too vague, he asks if they’ll be standing by his side when he succeeds or fails.

“Sixty five point six.  But they aren’t all the same Undersiders.”

Without Skitter, then? If so, then Coil’s success/failure will arrive in matter of days, or Skitter will have to take a hella long time to reconcile with them or do...whatever she wants to do.

“One more question.  What is the chance that I find a remedy to the Travelers’ circumstances?  To one decimal point?”

“Nine point five.  Candy?”

A full seven percent lower than it had been before the Endbringer attack.  Had a crucial individual died or left the city? Or was his running theory correct? Was there a reason Leviathan had come here, beyond the chance to attack a city already under siege?

Seven percent?! Their odds were already worryingly low, and now they’re even lower! Wow. Noelle’s odds are looking awful. There’s no way Coil is telling the Travelers this – not that he’d have a reason to talk about Dinah to them. But still...the Travelers’ patience may have a limit. If they see no progress, they may decide to leave Coil. That’ll impact his plans somehow, won’t it?

It was hard to ignore the reality, that Leviathan, from the time he arrived, had gradually moved closer and closer to this location, where the girl had already been ensconced.  The Travelers had even picked up on that, called him, worried.

...when it’s brought up like this it’s impossible it was just a coincidence. Leviathan was going to get Noelle? What for? I think that’s the important question here, why he’d try to get to Noelle. Is she like a beacon, or is her power somehow attracting Leviathan, or...hm. Depending of what’s going on, there is a chance Leviathan may return in the future again, then? I don’t think this city can withstand another attack from Leviathan.

Seven percent lower.  At what point did earning their loyalty fail to be worth the resources he was investing?

When they start failing or they start having serious doubts about you being able to help, of course. What’s hard to know is when it’ll start happening.

His plans are going so well he can almost taste victory. This all has been years of work, it started with gaming the markets, and kept going from there, having to be patient.

It had certainly been an expensive talent.  Even with his ability to game the markets in a way that clairvoyants and precognitives couldn’t detect, it had taken him years to pay it off.  A maddening, frustrating endeavor, when he had already been thinking of plans he wanted to set in motion, having to postpone them. And he still owed a favor, even now, up to a week’s services.  He couldn’t be sure if he was powerful and secure enough to fight back if they demanded too expensive a price, or too much of his time at a point critical to his plan.

It sounds to me like there’s someone else above Coil, someone who...I’m not sure of the implications here. It kind of sounds like he was given this power, but I’m not sure. Those would be quite meaningful implications.

He can’t get impatient now, nor he can indulge himself in his vices, not when he is so close to victory. And that’s the end of this interlude. That was quite the interesting glimpse into Coil’s way of working! I’m glad this exists. Great! He’s turning out to be every bit as twisted as I expected, maybe even more. There always was this continuous feeling of malice in his actions. I mean, it’s pretty obvious he looks only his own success, isn’t it? Improving the city and all that...that’d be more like an afterthought, that’s what I have thought for a long while.

So, there’s a new arc coming! Ninth arc, it’s titled ‘Sentinel’. Let’s get it started!

Okay, I have read a few paragraphs and I can already see Worm has taken a sharp left turn, so to say. This reads almost like an intermission, but it's a normal arc. Huh! When I was saying things were going to change, I didn’t mean even a change in the point of view character, Mr. Wildbow! I can’t even tell yet who this person is supposed to be, hm...a male character, arriving to the city. Can’t tell alignment yet.

Stainless steel handles on the doors.  He put his hands on the painted surface instead, pushed them open, and then held one of the doors open for the cart.  He was distracted enough that he almost didn’t notice the group waiting for him.

The group consisted of a squad of PRT officers with their regular assortment of nonlethal weaponry and a large woman with a bleached blonde bob.

A group of PRT officers, and the woman here says she is glad he arrived. So this guy here isn’t a villain or someone to be imprisoned. Does that mean we’re stepping away from the villain protagonist thing? That’d be a shame, I thought that was pretty fun.

He glanced quickly at her hand, checking there were no rings, then shook it.  “Thank you, ma’am.  Director Piggot, I’m assuming?”

Ah. He’s meeting Director Piggot right after arriving! This guy must be a rather important person – and young, too, judging by what happened with his luggage a moment ago.

It seems things aren’t getting much better in Brockton Bay after Leviathan’s attack. Anarchy reigns. People who were frustrated and living from paycheck to paycheck are now...well who knows what they’re doing. Nothing good, Piggot’s words make that much clear. Riots, perhaps?

“Are you ready to take command of the local Wards?”

I must say, I’m surprised at the risk Mr. Wildbow is taking! We go from a wannabe hero turned villain, to a cape that’s going to be the leader of the Wards. That’s rather different from what I have read so far in this story! I wonder if it’s just for this arc, or if it’s a more permanent thing?

Leaving that aside, since this person will lead the Wards, that means he is a teenager. Alright!

“Good. The team here is smaller than your old team in Boston.  It currently consists of Clockblocker, Vista, Kid Win and Shadow Stalker.  We had two members die in the attack, and a third left with his family when they evacuated.”

Rest in peace, Aegis and Gallant. Also, Browbeat wasn’t mentioned, so he may have been the one who left with his family. It was Browbeat, right? Or maybe I’m getting him mixed up with another cape? There are so many that even with my notes I have a bit of a hard time keeping track of what each one does and who they are, hah.

The Director took the hand of a uniform inside the helicopter, stepping inside, and Weld followed her up, refusing a helping hand.  The helicopter shifted slightly with the addition of his six hundred pounds of weight.

Oh hey, it’s Weld! The one who can absorb metals! And he...weighs six hundred pounds, apparently. Must be all that metal piling up, somehow. That can be quite the problem in everyday life, no elevators or anything like that. Weld seemed like a rather decent person, if I remember right how he behaved last arc. Nice!

Since he will lead the Wards, Piggot makes sure he at least knows the terminology everyone uses to classify capes.

Mover, Shaker,

Brute and Breaker.

Master, Tinker,

Blaster and Thinker,

Striker, Changer,

Trump and Stranger.

I’m pretty sure I received a message explaining each one of these in a word or two, but it seems I lost it somewhere in my website. I really should have tagged it or at least add it to my notes. Way to go, me.

Most are self-explanatory, but I’m not sure what a Shaker, Trump or Stranger do. I suppose I’ll find out the more this story continues, especially now that I’m reading from the point of view of someone who may use those classifications.

Weld is classified as a brute and changer, because he is rather tough and he can change. Simple enough! These classifications were originally aimed at villains, not at heroes, but now they’re used for everyone. Talking about these classifications is a chance for Piggot to introduce a new Ward.

“Right. This potential recruit is tentatively marked down as a Tinker/Mover.  It isn’t unusual for powers to emerge in the wake of an event as serious as this.  For this reason, we keep careful track of things to see if we cannot detect any new parahumans.  This young man has been observed in the south end, moving at over a hundred miles an hour with the assistance of a mechanical suit.  His inclusion on a local team would help fill gaps left by the death of Velocity, a local Protectorate member, and Armsmaster’s retirement.”

Tinker/Mover...so, invention and ingenuity, and skills that allows them to move with ease. Did I get it right? I suppose capes like Velocity are classified as Movers, so I think I got it right.

Leaving that aside...so Armsmaster is retired. Or...”retired”. I’m making the air quotes with my fingers, yeah. It’s a bit vague, this doesn’t tell much of what happened to him. I suppose that they’d all like to spread the word Armsmaster retired instead of whatever happened to him. Maybe he is in the Birdcage. It’d be awful PR if word gets out about what Armsmaster did.

“Others may make themselves known, and we will approach each of them in turn.  To help fill the gap in the meantime, Flechette is arriving from New York.”

That’s a familiar name. She was fighting Leviathan too, wasn’t she? My readers were right, Mr. Wildbow doesn’t introduce names randomly! Weld knows Flechette already, they had a playful rivalry. Piggot takes her role as a humorless boss to the upper limits and doesn’t appreciate the inherent humor in this turn of fate. Will it kill you to show even a little bit of mirth, Piggot? Then again, I suppose you need a stern hand when you’re dealing with a bunch of overpowered teenagers.

“Clockblocker and Vista are your best assets.  Clockblocker is a Striker 7 with touch-based time-stopping.  Vista is a Shaker 9.  Large scale spatial distortion.”

Okay, I wasn’t getting right the Striker denomination! I wasn’t sure what kind of label would fit Clockblocker, but Striker wasn’t one I ever considered would be correct. Vista is a Shaker...hm.

“Kid Win is a Tinker 4.  Guns and antigravity devices, primarily.  Shadow Stalker is more ambiguous.  Breaker 3, sublabels are Stranger 2, Mover 1.  Her particular nature as a ‘breaker’ makes her superlight, semi-gaseous, transparent and capable of passing through solid surfaces.”

Tinker, yep. Breaker...another one I kind of misinterpreted. Shadow Stalker’s Stranger status doesn’t shed any light on what it means, unfortunately for me. The Mover part kind of fits what I had already said, though. I’ll take what I can get.

“Then the top priority as far as opposition goes is… the Archer’s Bridge Merchants? Superpowered drug dealers.  A Shaker 2, Tinker 2/Mover 3 and a Shifter 4. These aren’t big numbers.  Am I missing something?”

The...the Merchants. They’re the top priority.

...

...well alright! Piggot was right, this city is going straight to hell!

The reason why they have acquired so much power is because they have become a rallying point for a lot of people. ‘Have-nots’, as Piggot says. I suppose that after Leviathan’s attack, the number of have-nots increased a lot. Desperation is a rather powerful force.

The Merchants took over the Docks, and their forces increased at breakneck speeds, recently they have started attacking infrastructure and hoarding arriving supplies. It sounds like most of these forces are civilians, who I’m willing to bet don’t have the strength or skill to fight a cape. It’d be an unfair battle. Perhaps aiming for the Merchants themselves may be good?

Speaking of the consequences of Leviathan’s attack, Empire Eighty-Eight is gone, it divided into two factions.

“One of two major offshoots of the Aryan villain group, Empire Eighty-Eight, which fell apart after the death of their leader, Kaiser.  Fenrir’s Chosen are led by Hookwolf.  Violent, utterly merciless, and reveling in the current chaos.”

One offshoot is violent and with brute force, the other is more diplomatic but no less despicable. Unfortunately for Brockton Bay, Hookwolf’s faction has a lot of parahumans. I don’t think Hookwolf has any of the traits that made Kaiser a dangerously competent leader, but sometimes brute force can be enough to tilt the scales on your favor. Purity and her faction aren’t faring very well in their diplomatic plans, the Protectorate have rejected every offer of help they did, and Weld is forbidden of accepting anything from her.

“Noted. Let’s see…  Coil, powers unknown.  The Travelers have high ratings on their powers, but their crimes are low end, pretty much.  There’s the Undersiders… three Master classifications in one team.”

They have no information on Coil. He’ll be pleased. In fact, I bet Coil already knows. But hey, the Protectorate are aware of his existence, that’s a start. The Travelers’ classification isn’t told at all and seem to be considered low-priority. Even though the Undersiders have three Master parahumans – Taylor, Alec and...Rachel? I think, yeah – they’re also low-priority. If I had to guess, I’d say Coil prefers it this way.

Faultline’s Crew are pretty much a nonentity. I still want to see more about them.

Onto more mundane matters. Weld will attend Arcadia High School. The teachers have been informed about his nature. What Piggot isn’t sure about is how other students will react to Weld. It’s not like everyone will know he is a Ward, so—

Weld looked down at his hands.  His body, from skin to hair to bone, was all metal and alloys of varying types.  “I’ve dealt with it before, I’ll manage.”

...oh. Okay. Looks like...even when he’s not actively being a hero he still is made of metal. Alright! That’s...that kinda is the type of detail that’d be nice to know much earlier, Mr. Wildbow. No wonder he weighs so much! And it’d be rather difficult for anyone at school not to know he is a Ward. This kid here...it’s impossible he has a private life.

Each Ward receives an allowance and a salary that gets added to a trust fund. Weld’s room has been examined and confirmed not to have any exposed metal, because when he touches metal his body immediately bonds to it, forcing him to absorb it or shed a part of himself. Sounds rather inconvenient, yeah.

The reason why Piggot and everyone else bother to accommodate Weld – and other capes, I suppose – is because they want to help society and the world accommodate parahumans better. Now that’s unlikely. With so many different types of parahuman powers, with so many villains and heroes, it’d be impossible to create a world where parahumans can be fully integrated, no matter how many accommodations are made. Honestly, it seems to me the most parahumans can aspire to is to be treated like heroic figures. That’d give them the love and appreciation of the public. Other than that...yeah, civilian identities will be needed.

Piggot shows a rare moment of empathy when she accepts not to slightly demean the director of parahumans matters in Boston, because he is a father figure to Weld. Nice! And then back to Piggot’s theories on what to do with parahumans and society. One word: PR.

“As the number of parahumans first became clear, a long-term plan was established. In the early phases of the plan, much effort was dedicated to setting up the Protectorate and Wards, ensuring the public had heroes they could look up to, likable faces, likable personalities. Merchandising, interviews, tv shows, music, movies and more were all encouraged and supported with the idea of building up this image.  Law, policy and rules for the official groups were all shaped with the idea of gradually building confidence in heroes.”

All this sound like long-term plans. But yeah, the early phases were to introduce parahumans as heroes the general public could rely on. It doesn’t sound too different from what’s done with comic book heroes and the such, just that instead of promoting a fictional character as rolemodel and helpful to society and people, these are real capes people can see and find out about. In other words: it’ll be much harder than promoting any old comic book hero.

The next part of the plan is to promote the existence of rogues, parahumans who aren’t affiliated to heroes or villains, they just go on with their lives and powers. It’d be easier to integrate rogues if you didn’t arrest and send them to the Birdcage like you did to Canary, guys. I can’t imagine rogues and society will feel very encouraged if something like that is known around.

This is a sensitive subject, slow to advance, as major corporations are particularly litigious when parahumans get involved.  In simple terms, the big businesses do not want people with powers affecting the status quo, and it is very easy for them to derail years of work with one bad media campaign targeting parahumans.”

“I see,” Weld commented.  He didn’t like that in simple terms bit of what she’d said.  Too many people implied he was stupid because he was strong.  But could he really speak up about it, when he couldn’t be sure if her choice of words came from an offensive or judgemental perspective?  Or was he being overly sensitive?

I think that fits under ‘overly sensitive’, but it’s understandable and he shouldn’t be blamed for that. I think I’d be a bit bristled, yeah.

“-but you have fans, and people are interested in you.  You get higher ratings for your interviews than even the average handsome hero gets.  You’re second most popular for team leaders for number of youtube videos, possibly helped by a briefly lived internet meme featuring your face, and you have a blemish-free record, both academically and in your two years serving as a part of the Wards.”

You know how odd it is to see something like ‘hey, the number of YouTube videos about you means you’re popular, and there’s also this meme with your face, way to go’ in a superhero story? These are the wonders of the modern world. I suppose it’s no surprise Piggot talks about it. The Protectorate and the Wards seem rather focused on positive PR and all that. Of course she’d be happy to see someone who is in good standings with the public. Not that good PR will replace skill and leadership. His bright future will have to depend on how good he does with this Ward team.

Weld is an eager beaver, charming!

“One.  I was hoping to arrange interstate training sessions with the New York and Boston Wards groups.  As far as I’m aware, the local team doesn’t do this.  They barely have regular situation training.”

Sounds like a decent proposal as long as those other teams have a teleporter cape to bring them all to Brockton Bay. Piggot doesn’t consider it necessary or a priority – and she tries to fight, but Weld is assertive and argues he is willing to deal with the paperwork and the reports. Nice! He’s already taking leadership and doing stuff that hasn’t been done before! He’ll have a bright future if he continues like this.

It’ll have to be done during their free time. Good luck convincing the rest from joining you, buddy. I doubt heroes have much free time, they may be reticent to let it go, no matter how fun whatever you have in mind will be.

Once they arrive, Piggot offers to go introduce him to everyone, he decides to go by himself because Piggot isn’t known for her friendliness and good standing with the Wards. Good decision…I thiiiink…? Arriving to the right place was simple enough. The team is all there, with their masks off. Time for the first impression! A greeting, received with the usual tepid salutations any teenager would give. It may be because they’re tired, though. Vista is injured, too.

“From everything I’ve heard, you guys are an excellent team, and I hope I can do you justice as a leader.  It’s my hope that we can improve on a winning formula.  I’ve talked to the director about some special training-”

“Training?” Clockblocker interrupted, “You just lost me.”

Whooops! That went by like a lead balloon. It’s not that everyone here hates training or anything like that, it’s just that the current times aren’t going to give enough liberty to have fun like Weld wants to. Not that he had time to explain what he had in mind. Pessimism is heavy, even Shadow Stalker feels the riots and disturbed civilians are going to be a permanent fixture. They even have anecdotes about what’s going on out there. It’s every bit as dire as I feared.

“Pull a fifteen hour patrol out there, then come back and talk to me about hope,” Clockblocker spoke.  “You know, I could almost play along.  Go with the blind optimism, say yippee to training.  But you don’t even mention the guy you’re replacing?  A few words for the dead?  It’s a matter of respect, bro.”

He’s got a point there. It’d have been respectful to say a few words. Nothing fancy, something like ‘I know I won’t ever be able to truly replace your former leader’ may have worked. Not that…it’s particularly poignant. I doubt there’s really a right way to bring up this topic.

“I didn’t mean to dismiss them or their sacrifice.  I just didn’t know them, and-”

That right there just made me wince. Bad move, Weld, it kind of implies you need to know them in order to give a few words of respect. It makes you look a tad standoffish. This guy is ruining the first impression already, and it’s not like he’s doing that on purpose. No surprise Clockblocker gets angry and goes out, making a point to turn his back to Weld before addressing the rest. Nobody else is even trying to pay attention to him, agreeing on what they’ll do during the next few hours.

Vista actually tries to be kind with the new guy, telling him everyone is just tired and that maybe Clockblocker simply didn’t give him enough time to mention Aegis and Gallant. Weld proceeds to ruin this lifeline by saying:

“Right,” Weld replied, feeling lost, “Aegis and Gallant.  They’re the ones who died?”

He didn’t shove his foot in his mouth, he unhinged his jaw and swallowed his whole leg. Man, dealing with the Wards during the city’s awful situation and while everyone is tired will truly be a test of character. Good luck, Weld, you’re going to need it. He immediately starts studying the stack of files Piggot gave him, and that’s where the chapter ends.

Well this sure is a change of pace! A new point of view, from the diametrically opposite faction to the Undersiders. It’s good to see how the hero side is faring under the strain of Brockton Bay being a disaster zone, that gives a whole new perspective to this place and its problems. He’s going to have such a hard time I already feel pity for him.

I’ll continue next time.

Next update: next time

#worm #worm liveblog #story liveblog #book liveblog #liveblog

[beowulfs-booty-call]

Is that time again!

Yessiree! It’s 3 am, meaning your boy’s got some ideas in his mind! Coupled with some Pesrona 2 nostalgia and the power of Yukino Mayuzumi, he’s back with some new stuff for his OC’s and so on!

Demi was never a witch to begin with. He began “witchcraft” after a man had stolen him after being “born” in the UnderGround and subsequently killed by the mysterious jewel on his neck he wears as a choker. Leaving behind old tomes and books of many legends and myths, Demi took them along after the Madam had “cleared” the air of the incident and merely read them aloud. Soon enough, he was creating astral portals and summoning fire from his fingertips without much effort. In reality, though, Demi has magic inside him due to the essence of his past life being a witch / demon summoner, as well as his own new “powers” of being an incubus. He doesn’t fully understand the effects of losing his memories, but the magic he uses now reflects his new persona rather than his old one.

Demi has a thing for old 90′s house music and tends to blare one specific one as his ringtone. He claims it’s from a “Mystical land up above from only a dream could carry me..!” But the theatrics don't help. The Underground developed complex tech phones and gadgets from stealing them above ground, but, Demi is not above using them with abandon and personally making ringtones for everyone he meets.

The man attracts literal animals wherever he goes. He’s of course banned from taking in any animals per say, in terms of once trying to keep a dragon he’s summoned on accident, but, as he slips into the forest time to time, pets aren’t more of his concern. “They’re companions...! Don’t you see? They just need a little love and affection and they see you like one of them..!”

Tries to get his roommate to help him with driving as he cannot drive yet. Do not ask him to drive if your value your life. He is getting better though...! We hope...

While he works at a fitness shop time to time, he’s been considered as a “model” so to speak amongst the Underground. However, Demi doesn’t understand the social “importance” of being a model, and has been known to wave off any sort of fame in terms of asking others on their lives as though they are the famous ones. AKA: “No way! You have a camera...!? What does the focus do? What does the shutter sound like?! What is your favorite filter I bet it’s black and white...!” “You write pOETRY?! CAN YOU TEACH ME, DO YOU RHYME IN YOUR POETRY, DO YO--”

A clergyman who ended up in Eros because of his “sins” (he was thrown into Eros because his sin was not being true to his heart. In reality, he was meant to be sent to the 7th district of Lux, but was sent on accident to Eros) was once swayed by Demi’s way of life despite the other demons and characters of the Underground. Though later on, he would essentially leave to the right district as the Madam predicts, he leaves Demi an old leather backed holy tome that strangely does not burn him or hurt him in any way. In fact, Demi is able to read from the texts and summon forth holy magics from it, combining the spirit of the tome with his own. What’s considered “holy” about the tome is that it was sealed with the blood of a fallen angel who had come to regret his decisions and consecrated it yet still with his still warm blood. The tome is locked away under Demi’s bed as he’s not exactly... Keen on cleaning 

Demi has been known to be the one who’s considered the “coat hanger” friend. While he does enjoy shopping, he tends to be used to holding bags and clothes while people are shopping with him. He doesn’t mind, but now and again you’ll find him with a hanger still caught on his horns after a shopping trip. He simply bends the hangers to make modern art. Many times, you’ll find those very hangers crafted into tiny lions and wireframe bended cats

Has the infinite capacity to completely destroy a building or perhaps entire beings - - - Teleports into cupboards to eat Chips Ahoy cookies. “If I warp, I warp. I fit no matter what.” (He says, stuffed completely in a cupboard for three days and his roommate finds him eating lollipops where they keep the cereal.)

Happily finds himself in the dangerous parts of town to scope out potential places to read or eat at. He’s known more down at the diners for his incredible appetite for the lunch specials and because of his tips being so large. His handle on money, however... Is best left unsaid.

WAS ONCE RAN OUT OF A BUFFET ONCE BECAUSE HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE JOINT BEFORE BEING PULLED AWAY HE IS STILL TRYING TO BREAK HIS RECORD OF NINE PLATES

Gains power through someone scratching his chin or his beard. Be extremely careful. A demon loved is a demon gained, and a demon like Demi is... Well...

Has a “thing” for someone he knew before, but, he’s embarrassed to talk about it. He opens up later in to Parvati, when things go bleak so he could learn to move on better. Demons aren’t always the best teachers, so, Parvati does her best to try and get with the lingo as well as be on top of the Mom Game™ “What is the, ‘Lit’, my son? Is it the candle stick?” “N-no, it’s-” “The incense! That must be it! Well, in that case, make sure not to get “too lit”, after all you have much more to be concerned on then fancy smelling incense...!”

Has tried more than once to get a steady job at the local libraries in Eros, but due to his own job standings, it’s only out of sheer desire to see someone who had bought him a drink before. He doesn’t want to admit, but, he has an eye out for the guy. (He unfortunately doesn’t think it would work...!)

Somehow can easily use a sword or rapier and has proficiency with them. 

Claims to interact with Gods of other pantheons rather casually. “Yeah, Odin, hot dude with eye patch, right? We had a tequila together behind the Burger Queen around 3 last night...! He ended up fighting with that kid Baldr again, I think he’s just a bit stressed out though... He did give me an eye patch just like him though!”

Had a familiar named Gouto, a black cat that followed him into the Underground, doesn’t remember him as much, but, Gouto watches out for him in the shadows. Demi believes he’s a regular old cat, but, the truth is, there’s a lot more to Gouto than Demi realizes. Along with some missing info he never really thought over...

#OC: Demi #me stuff

[wrestlewriting]

Insolence, Pt. 7 [Adam Cole]

Title: Insolence, Part Seven of ? (Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six)

Characters: Adam Cole/OC(Brenna)

Genre: Angst. Fluff.

Length: ~4,700 words

Warnings: Cursing, obviously. A little kissing.

Summary/Inspo: “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

  @catie-kaboom @libby-rose-2016 @legitlunatic @valeonmars @barbelly28 @danapotterwwe @alexahood21 @rollinstrash @covergirlcollarbones  @hiitsmecharlie @tearsropsandtiedye @thedeboniardevistation

If you want to be added to the tag list, just let your girl know! :)

AUTHOR NOTE: So this chapter is structured a little unlike the others. I’ve intermixed some song lyrics, which I think lend a bit to the state of mind going on in this chapter. Also, an Instagram caption. Because we live in as social media/technology world, so it feels fitting in this story.

“Wait, are you sure you can be involved in the match tonight?” Jay Briscoe asked, raising his eyebrows, as you sat backstage at a table in the venue in New York City.

“Uh, yea, I think I’ll be fine,” you brushed his concern away.

“I mean, you’ll have a bandage on it, right?” His worry over your minor involvement in their match that night now made you roll your eyes.

“Yes, father, I will,” you smirked, expecting the glare you got in response. “Relax, dude. It’s been three days. It’s already healing just fine. And as long as no one straight up hits me there, it’ll be OK.”

“It looks good,” he concurred, causing you to smile softly, turning to gaze down at where, beneath your shirt, the new tattoo rested along your shoulder, above your collar bone. It was not too big, simply the word ‘hallelujah’ written in black script.

It was no secret that you had gotten the tattoo, another one in your small-ish collection. You had it done three days ago, on the anniversary of Evan’s death. It was what you were looking at as your closing act to that specific chapter in your life. You were one of those people, who believed that anniversaries and notable occasions needed to be marked.

You had made it to ‘a year’, the point you had set for yourself. You didn’t feel nearly as perfect as you thought you would, but you also now understood that you couldn’t predict these things. You did feel better though; lighter, happier.

Acceptance, that was the stage in the grief cycle you were, at long last, truly on. It was time to move on even more than you already had; keeping his memory, but letting your life occur organically. You couldn’t keep telling yourself you had to wait for this, or that, to happen in order to be past it. You knew you would have an ache for a long time in you without him, but you could manage that.

In the past couple weeks, you had decided you just had to let life go on. Evan would always be with you in some way, and that was all you needed to know. You weren’t about to start sleeping with every man you met, but you also weren’t going to have being a widow be a leading characteristic of yourself all the time. You felt secure in pushing onward in life.

After the tattoo had been done, you had posted it on Instagram. Somehow you had become encouragement, validation, for others going through losses. You weren’t overly sharing your pain and experiences on the internet, but you weren’t shy about being real about what it was doing to you either. That had struck a chord with people.

1 year later…. I’ve never been one for religion. Always felt forced & constricting & contradictory. But I know religion for many is a relief. It gives answers. It gives control over to someone else. It gives purpose. It gives direction & structure. The idea of heaven & hell gives some type of peace of mind. Bad people get no rewards in death, while good people do. I like that part. I like thinking maybe the people I’ve loved & lost are somewhere happy. It’s always fascinated me how many people “find” religion in times of sorrow. I guess it’s a comfort to believe that everything has a reason & greater meaning, even if at the time you don’t understand it. I never got it before, why in times of tragedy you would suddenly change your outlook. But I’ve gained an understanding in the last year. I’m not attending church anytime soon. I’m staying Team Agnostic. Evan was religious to an extent. It brought him a lot of comfort to have God, to pray, to believe. Who was I to tell him otherwise? He did his thing, I did mine. We compromised when needed That said, we played Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah’ at the end of his funeral. It felt right. For all of the reasons above & hundreds I haven’t stated. This tattoo is for him. For all the other people I’ve lost and like to think are watching over me. For the comfort I’ve found in travel & new experiences & old friends. For the peace I’ve been able to make with my life. For the adventures I have yet to be on. I have no true answers. I probably never will. But I’m lucky because what I do have is time & hope & really good people around me. Live, and let live, and let go. “Maybe there’s a God above. But all I’ve ever learned from love, Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya. And it’s not a cry that you hear at night, It’s not somebody who’s seen the light. It’s a cold & it’s a broken Hallelujah.”

Your caption had been long on the picture, but after posting it, you had in some ways been calmer. You had rewritten it over a dozen times to be honest, before you thought it got across the point correctly. This was in Evan’s memory yes, but it was just as much a symbol of you having gotten through a massive tragedy. And you were still standing: stronger, smarter, just as capable as you were before. Maybe even more.

Adam had texted you afterwards, clearly having seen your social media post. Looks good, was all his message had read.

Since Texas a month ago, you both had managed to be around each other without anything else eventful happening. You’d made it through some other ROH and PWG shows just fine. There had been dinners where everyone laughed; after-show beers with friends in hotel rooms without fights breaking out. He had been in Japan wrestling, while you had been all over America. You’d texted one another throughout the weeks, checking in after matches, relaying funny stories from the road, asking if the other had heard a song or seen a TV show.

It seemed like there was a genuine friendship between the two of you.

Finally.

Except…you couldn’t let go of all of the things he had told you in San Antonio.

Especially not after talking to Lauren and Candice. Your best friends, bless them, had decided they could see right through his words, and all but smacked you in the face with the reality of it.

Lauren, the far bigger believer in fate and kismet and all that jazz, had immediately declared Adam was in love with you given what he had said and done. You decided that was just a little bit dramatic. Candice had been more along the lines you were comfortable with; Adam clearly had feelings for you, but wasn’t sure what exactly they were or how to handle them. And out of respect for you, he wasn’t going to try to actively figure it out with you either.

Both girls, however, conveyed that you needed to stop putting restrictions on yourself. They wanted you to stop telling yourself you had to wait for something else to happen before you reacted, or thinking you had no right to be ready to move forward. They agreed you needed to do something, anything, to progress the situation. You have someone who wants to be with you, figure it all out with you, right in front of you! Do not waste that, Lauren’s words stuck with you.

All of this just made you hyper aware of any of the interactions Adam had with you. While on the surface you were maintaining an image of friendly, relaxed, it never felt like it was just that, at least not to you. You kept seeing motive, meaning, in every exchange, be it in person or over a cell phone.

Once he had put his arm around your shoulders while you had been talking in a group, and it just hadn’t seemed the same as when any of the other guys did it. It didn’t feel causal; it felt possessive, intimate. Another time while at a bar, he had stood behind you, close, ordering a drink over your shoulder, and feeling his body against you had made your breathing stop. You hated that you were analyzing every contact you had with him, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Anytime he was in your personal bubble, it caused a reaction for you. And any time he texted you, which had become a daily occurrence, asking your opinion or thoughts on something, it made you smile, usually involuntarily.

You had never looked at Adam beyond the scope of friend, but after what he had said to you, after what the two of you had done together, it was hard to not let your mind go there. You weren’t sure where you were at with regards to him. You completely understood what he was saying when he explained that it was not so easy to put one another in a clear-cut category anymore. Did you have a fleeting crush on him? Genuinely like him? Actually want to be with him? All of it? None of it?

Things were different, and you really didn’t like that he had been right with regards to using that word so often.

The entire matter also terrified you.

You’d only ever been with Evan, at least in a way that was significant. Childish middle school relationships full of giggling when you held hands just didn’t count. Evan was your definition of real love. It was hard to think of anyone else fulfilling that role, meeting those expectations, making you so happy. You knew, logically, someone could, probably would. But you still assumed it to be just slightly out of reach to you.

Your brain, your heart, and your soul were all just at war within you. For every point one made, another had a counterpoint. It was overwhelming most of the time. And not a whole lot of fun.

“I’m gonna go get ready,” you told Jay, pushing your current life indecision back to the back of your mind, where it had been living for some time.

“See ya, bug,” he responded, with a short wave. Sighing at the childish, yet endearing, nickname, you got up from the table and headed to what was the women’s locker room for the night.

You were relieved none of the girls wrestling that night were in there. You liked your coworkers, had become genuine friends with a few of them. But right now, you just wanted to get ready in quiet, and settle your racing thoughts. You hadn’t yet seen Adam tonight, and you couldn’t deny you were anxious about it.

Playing music from your phone as you flitted around the locker room, getting dressed for the night, you enjoyed the calm that you had somehow managed to find for the moment. You knew tonight was going to be busy, a lead in to the anniversary PPV next week. So for now, you had on a playlist of less frantic songs. A lot of the songs had been comforting for you over the years, a way to reflect and put words to your emotions when you otherwise couldn’t. It was amazing how music always had a way to make life better, easier, even when it was anything but.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you. But time made you bolder, Even children get older, And I’m getting older too.

You slid on your black long-sleeved body suit, which had an open back, adjusting it as needed. You then pulled on a tan ruffled thigh-length skirt up your legs, zipping it up, and turning it so it laid how you wanted. Grabbing your makeup case, you sat down in the folding chair in the room, placing the items on the small table next to it.

As you worked on your make-up, the music continued to swirl around you, multiple songs playing as you not only completed your face, but also your hair, which you left hanging loose in waves.

This is my relapse, That I’ve succumb to. I went through things no one should have to. I could have never let this slip, I could have let this slip. -~- I’ve been everywhere around the world and finally here tonight. You seem to be the only one to make me feel alright. I feel good when I know you’re coming down. I feel good when I know you’ll be around. -~- An angel got his wings, And we’ll hold our heads up knowing that he’s fine. We’d all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime. Friends stay side by side, In life and death you’ve always stole my heart. You’ll always mean so much to me, it’s hard to believe this. -~- I caught you burnin’ photographs, Like that could save you from your past. History is like gravity, It holds you down away from me. You and me, we’ve both got sins, I don’t care about where you’ve been. Don’t be sad and don’t explain, This is where we start again. -~- Drinking old cheap bottles of wine, Shit talking up all night, Saying things we haven’t for a while. We’re smiling but we’re close to tears. Even after all these years, We just now got the feeling that we’re meeting for the first time.

When you were satisfied with your look, you put away all of your items, and turned off your music. You left out some sweatpants and slip-ons to put on after the show, knowing you would want to change before going to the hotel. You grabbed your thigh-high black boots, sliding them on and securing them to yourself. Standing up, you looked yourself over once more, before deciding it was time to head out in to the Ring of Honor backstage craziness. Making sure you had your phone in a small wristlet, which you also put a lipstick and compact in for touch-ups, you left the locker room.

And immediately you collided right in to somebody.

“Oh shit, sorry!” Damn. Fuck. His hands were immediately gripping your upper arms, steadying you on your feet. “You OK?”

“Yea, fine,” you answered, causing him to let go of you, leaving your skin feeling warm. Looking up, you met Adam’s blue eyes, and took in the grin on his face. “Were you just coming in?”

“I mean, I can definitely be a sleaze ball sometimes, but no, I was actually going to knock, I swear,” he said, the smile on his face getting wider when you pursued your lips and raised your eyebrows. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No.”

“C’mon, Matt brought stuff for us,” Adam nodded his head to the side, indicating he wanted you to come with him. But you didn’t move. So neither did he. “…what?”

“I didn’t tell Matt to bring me anything?”

“I did.”

“Oh.” For the first time since you’d ran in to him, you saw Adam genuinely in front of you, in a t-shirt and jeans. You were pretty sure he had a meet and greet before the show, so apparently he wasn’t changing in to his ring gear for it. And he also had apparently taken it upon himself to get you dinner. Which was sweet of him.

“So…food, or no…?”

“Um, yea, yes,” you stumbled out, with the tiniest half-smile on your face. When you went to walk past him, he stopped you however, his hand light on your wrist. You turned your head towards your shoulder, so you were able to look over at him.

“You look amazing,” he stated, his voice low. He was close, having stopped you mere inches away from him, and every one of your senses was very aware of him.

“Thanks,” you whispered. Had his cologne always been this nice? And did he always give off so much body heat? Was he always looking at you in this way, like he wanted you? Would he reject you if you kissed him again? Should you just find out?

You turned yourself a few more inches towards him, put your hand on his cheek, and placed your lips to his.

He didn’t react right away, whether that was because of sheer surprise or personal restraint, you didn’t know. But after a moment, when you didn’t pull back, you felt his hand settle on your hip, and he returned the kiss.

Despite your current state of affairs, which was causing your entire body to feel electric, you were still aware you were in the hallway. Stepping backwards slightly, you guided Adam with you.

“Locker-room,” you breathed out against his lips, explaining your actions, as you shuffled your hand blindly behind yourself on the wall until you found the handle to the door. It was as though your words increased the emotion in the kiss, turning it almost desperate, as his tongue went into your mouth. You fumbled for a moment trying to turn the handle, caught up in the now heated kiss, and the way Adam’s arm slid to encircle your waist.

The both of you moved through the doorway once able to, Adam supporting you so you didn’t stumble in your boots. He shoved the door shut with his free hand once you were inside, then tangled that hand in to your hair. You shifted your hand from his face to the back of his neck, your nails scratching against the base of his skull. With his arm around your waist, he pressed his hand in to the small of your back, causing you to arch forward. Your wristlet dropped to the floor from your other hand, allowing you to instead grip at his side, fingers tangling in to his shirt.

Sufficiently wrapped up in each other, you weren’t even thinking about anything anymore, just how much you enjoyed feeling him, being close to him. This was completely new in some ways from your other kiss, especially being you hadn’t been drinking, but some parts of it felt familiar. The actual desire between the two of you to be doing this was definitely heightened more this time. It was evidenced in every motion, and the literal hold you had on each other.

He pulled you with him, as he rested back against the wall, securing your body against his. Being pressed against him, front to front, brought a whole new dynamic to your interaction. You could feel every part of him, all firm and warm, and despite his grip on you, somehow gentle. With every move of his tongue with yours, you wanted to be even closer to him. It was all so very visceral.

You weren’t sure if it was a moan or a groan that came from you when his hand slid up your back and on to the exposed skin of your back and shoulder blades.

“Fuck.” Whatever sound it was, Adam had clearly heard it. He stopped kissing you, and you could feel his breath, heavy like yours, as he parted from you. “Shit…” You wanted him to just kiss you again, and leaned slightly to make it happen.

“Bren…” You knew then by his tone, he had broken the kiss with a purpose. You kept your eyes closed for a second, so you could swallow your now wounded pride. Letting go of him, you stepped back and away. It was only once there was distance that you opened your eyes. He looked far more troubled than you expected him to. You could only imagine how you looked to him. Pathetic, probably.

“I get it,” you murmured, your shoulders slack, hoping to just end the moment and be done with the entire situation. He had just been caught up probably, his feelings were likely not the same as before. Everything your friends had said was wrong, and anything you had felt had been misled. This had been a mistake.

You shouldn’t have let your physical desires direct your behaviors; you should have listened to your cautious brain.

“Do you get it? Because I really don’t think you do,” Adam argued, peaking your interest, as he pushed off from the wall. “I’m doing everything I possible fucking can to not an asshole here, for you or me. And you just kissing me….”

“Yes Adam, that was a one person event that just happened,” you rolled your eyes, his own narrowing in response. “But go on, tell me. What does that all mean?”

“It means, that yea, when I met you, of course I had a crush on you. Hell, half the locker room did. But you had Evan, and that was that, and it was easy to let it go because it couldn’t ever matter. And then we all just became friends and family, and life was clearly defined.” He paused, taking in your reaction.

You were pretty sure all he saw was a blank face, because these were things he had spoken to you before. Why did he have to repeat himself? You heard it the first time. It didn’t exactly feel wonderful hearing it a second time either.

“And then…then Evan wasn’t here anymore. And you and I…we’ve gone down this weird path of avoidance and confrontation and reconciliation and more confusion. That’s all these past few months have been. But in all that…somehow, I don’t know, I realized that without that just immediate, unspoken boundary, I can’t help but see you differently. I can’t ignore you when you’re around. And I want you to be around. I do like you. As the person I get to talk to…hang out with…kiss.”

You knew he could see some surprise in your eyes now. When you had the serious conversation in Texas, Adam had mentioned all these thoughts, emotions. But hearing him say it so directly, with confidence, clearly meaning it…it put a whole fresh off-axis spin on your life. You had believed you had come to terms with what had been brought up before, having talked it all out with your friends. But apparently it was one thing to have it in your head; it was another to hear it so bluntly from him.

“And I’m trying my fucking hardest to not act on it, not push you towards anything. I don’t want to put any more worries, problems, into your life for you to figure out. Not when we’re finally somewhere good together. I don’t want to risk that.”

“…why do you think you’d be a problem?”

“Brenna, come the fuck on,” he huffed. “Are you saying you’ve enjoyed the absolute hell we’ve put each other through the last few months?”

“Well, no, of course not…but it’s not like I didn’t bring it on myself?” You didn’t blame Adam exclusively for anything in the last few months; you had played your role in it too. “I’m the one who confronted you the first time after months of silence. We both had a part in all that. Good and bad.

“But the last months, that’s in the past. That has nothing to do with these feelings, right here, right now. And I mean, sure, yea, of course I have no fucking clue what this is really, what to do here, with us. It could just be another shit-storm, or it could go really well. Like you said, we’re finally somewhere good. So what’s to say we won’t stay that way? But…shouldn’t I get to make that choice for myself?”

“So what? You want to try this with me? With us?”

“I don’t know, yes? Maybe? I just…I know I want you to stop thinking you get to make that decision for me,” you concluded. “You’re constantly telling me what I want, or what I need. Why can’t you ever just ask me?”

“Because I don’t think you know,” Adam replied.

“So? Maybe I don’t. Actually, OK, fine, I don’t know. I don’t know what this is between us. I don’t know how to be with you because all I’ve ever been with is Evan, and fuck, how you even date someone anymore? And I don’t know why every time I see you something has to fucking happen, good or bad. I don’t know why I just had to kiss you right now, except I know I wanted to. But what I do know is I want to be able to make my own choice. I need you to stop making a decision for me, and just tell me what you want from this.”

“I’ve told you.”

“And you always follow it up with a ‘but’, a reason why you can’t,” you pointed out. “So, do you actually?”

“You must not know me at all if you think I’m one to not mean what I say,” Adam declared.

“Well, considering everything I thought I knew about you isn’t exactly adding up in this situation, forgive me,” you retorted. You hated that this was turning in to an argument. That had not been your goal at all when you saw him.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means, you’ve given me space. You’ve pushed whatever it is you want away in some attempt at not upsetting me. You text me every day, sometimes for literally the dumbest reasons. You just, treat me differently than everyone I’ve ever seen you with. So whenever I think I know what’s going to happen, it doesn’t usually go that way.”

“Well, I’m sorry I genuinely care about you,” Adam voiced, sounding almost wounded that you hadn’t realized that, just known it, before now. You observed him, as he looked away from you. Any of the frustration and anger in the room melted away for you.

“Adam…”

You weren’t sure what to say first at this point.

But it was definitely do or do not time.

“You said earlier you don’t want to put any more stress on me…but after Texas, after what you said to me…how could it not do just that? If you think I’ve just been able to not think about that conversation, worry about it, over-analyze it…then you just don’t know me, or women, at all.” His eyes finally came to yours again, and you did everything in your power to not look as nervous and unsure as you felt.

“And I thought I knew what it all meant, and I thought I had been OK, but now I don’t think I am. Because…I’m scared, Adam. This is all so confusing for me, and so different.” You swear you saw a sparkle of recognition in his eyes at your word use. “But…I can’t just ignore it either, or pretend it’s not real. Because it is. Because you care about me, and I don’t know what I feel towards you, but I know it’s not what it once was. It’s more than that.

“Maybe we will just go back to arguing all the time, I don’t know. We’ve managed finally to be friends again, but it’s obvious neither of us wants it to stop there. Even if we have no idea how to go about this.”

There was silence between the two of you after that, each processing your words and everything that had happened overall. You didn’t know what to do anymore, what to say. You hadn’t meant to have this conversation with him when you ran in to him. But something in seeing him, being close to him, had made you feel like you just had to. There was clearly something between the two of you, that much you couldn’t deny anymore. What it was though, remained to be explained.

“We’ll figure it out.” His declaration made your attention go fully back on him. As you comprehended what he said, you felt your heart flutter slightly.

“I might be really shit at this,” you warned him.

“You’ve already decked me. And cussed me out, a couple times,” Adam highlighted. “Does it get much worse than that?”

“Yes, it does,” you answered, seriously.

“Well, then I’ll stay alert,” he smiled. You recognized how much you liked his smile. It started on the left side of his mouth, before it grew across his entire face. It was so strong, genuine.

“Can we just…not make a big deal of this?” Adam tilted his head slightly. “With everyone else. Hell, even with us. I just….” You had no idea how to rationalize to him that you didn’t want this whatever-you-were being discussed by your friends, seen by your coworkers, made in to a notable event.

“It’s just you and me, no one else,” he assured you. “Nothing is going to change that much. But, when I want to kiss you, I’m going to.”

“OK.” You tried to suppress the grin that wanted to break out on your face. You had to admit how much you liked kissing him, which was obvious at this point. But, that was only a part of what went in to…this. Were you honestly ready to take this next step, however small or large, with Adam? What if you really were shit at dating? What if you hurt him? What if you weren’t actually ready to let someone in your life again in such a manner?

“C’mere,” he requested, putting out a hand for you to take, which you did. He promptly pulled you towards him, back in to his space. You were thankful for your boots, as it made you almost level with him. “I mean it Bren, we’ll figure this out, together, OK?”

“Yea.” You wished you were as confident now as you had been ten minutes ago when you all but jumped him. “It’s just…a lot.”

“I know,” he agreed, his hand squeezing yours. “But, as long as we’re honest with each other, it’ll work. So, we can’t go back to how we were before, keeping shit from each other and the arguing.”

“But I like yelling at you,” you teased with a small whine to your voice.

“I kinda figured,” he stated. “And I mean, I’m sure I’ll give you reasons to still yell at some point. It just…can’t be our standard way of communicating.”

“Fine,” you sighed jokingly. Adam just gazed down at you, a gentle smile coming to his face as he did so. “What?”

“I like you happy,” he said, causing your cheeks to warm. You didn’t know how to reply to that. “Come on, let’s go actually eat now.”

“We probably should do that,” you concurred.

Neither of you made a move to let go of the other, or leave the locker room.

Instead, Adam leaned his head down, kissing you again, softly. When he broke the short kiss this time, it was only to then lay another kiss on your forehead. There was no urgency like before, but the kisses resonated in you all the same. Before had been about want, and this felt like it was about something more.

“Let’s go,” he decided, removing his lips, letting go of your hand. You moved back as he turned to open the door, allowing you to walk out before him.

This night had certainly taken a turn. You were excited, nervous, happy, scared. You really hoped you hadn’t just made a mistake. You didn’t think you did, but you also knew there were still a lot of variables at play. You wanted things to be fine, you truly did. Maybe Adam was what you needed in your life. Or maybe he would realize this was all just emotion with no substance. Nothing was sure right now, that much you knew. But at least you were trying. And you had someone who appeared willing to try with you.

What if I can’t be all that you need me to be? We’ve got a good thing going, we have some promises to keep. But my addiction it can be such a detriment. Please believe in this my dear, I am more than penitent. What if everything’s just the way that it will be? Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief? My war ships are lying off the coast of your delicate heart, And my aim is steady and true as it’s been right from the start. There’s a degree of difficulty in dealing with me. From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories. If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all. So when we leave it’ll be a quick midnight escape. We’ll disconnect ourselves from all of yesterday. I’ll dig for water and fashion our very own wishing well, Then we’ll throw our coins down hoping to rid us of this little hell. There’s a degree of difficulty in dealing with me. From my haunted past comes a daunting task of living through memories. If we could just hang a mirror on the bedroom wall, stare into the past and forget it all. Will we get out of this little hell? Will we get out of this little hell? Will we get out of this little hell? Will we get out of this little hell?

UPDATE: Chapter Eight is here.

#adam cole fan fiction #adam cole fanfic #adam cole imagine #Adam Cole #wrestling fanfic #wrestling fan fiction #wrestling imagine #wrestling fan fic #roh fanfic #insolence

[dilipmagura-blog]

How To Prevent Covid 19

There is no denying the way that Health and Fitness is the foundation of all bliss. A sound body is the house of sound brain which guarantees to pick up everything including riches. There are less reviles on the planet than sick well being.

 The significance of well being and wellness has been expanded in the ongoing decade by and large. In the serious world, one needs to realize how to stay in shape on the grounds that the standard of endurance for the fittest is still in real life. The decrease of additional kilos help you to look better and the uplifting news is you don't have to depend on doctors of med so as to get wanted looks or appearance. It is essentially obvious that diminishing load for immaculate well being isn't a simple undertaking. Ideally once you have done that you doubtlessly value just as hotshot your physical well being.

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 Training

 Training is the procedure by which our brain creates through proper learning at an establishment like a school, school or college. It is a psychological and scholarly preparing that gives chances of development and assists with meeting difficulties and conquer hindrances to advance. Once more, the motivation behind training is to edify the individual and to build up his/her ability as far as possible. It is likewise the matter of instruction to prepare people to settle on the correct decisions to proceed. It recognizes our brain and refines our reasonableness. It likewise widens our viewpoint and causes us become mindful of our privileges and duties.

 As indicated by Newman, training "gives a man an away from perspective on his own conclusions and decisions, a fact in creating them, an expert articulation in communicating them and a power in utilizing them." Therefore, it is frequently contrasted with light which evacuates the dimness of obliviousness and causes us recognize good and bad. Ex-President Julius Nyerere of Tanzania said at a global meeting that the main role of training was the freedom of man from the limitations of propensities and mentalities which limit his mankind. He further said training ought to advance humankind and widespread fellowship and that it could be utilized as an impetus for an improvement. How right he was!

 Once more, Education is considerably more than the information we find in books. On the off chance that a man is genuinely instructed, he will have told the best way to lead a cheerful and valuable life and to be a productive member of society of the nation in which he lives; more even than that a productive member of society of the world. He will have figured out how to carry on towards other individuals. By coming in contact with the dynamic personalities of his instructors and individual understudies he will have found what sort of brain he himself has and he will have gotten pleased to what he knows to be correct and embarrassed about doing what he knows to not be right. The cleverest man isn't generally the best-taught.

 An insightful man is one who can think unmistakably and afterward act so that the best outcomes follow. Information is valuable however information without anyone else doesn't make a man astute. We need an extraordinary sort of instruction which will prepare us to client our insight admirably. For instance, there has been an incredible increment in logical information during the current century however the intelligence of man has not expanded at a similar rate. Intelligence guides us to utilize our insight. Without knowledge, anyway much we know, we stay absurd.

 The point of training is to make a man completely prepared to be valuable to him-self and to the general public. It is to build up the entire man-his body, brain and soul. Training targets furnishing a youngster with chances to draw out all the inactive gifts that it forms. A really taught individual ought to act naturally dependent concerning his own needs. He ought to be polite, nice, innovative, kind aware, thoughtful and co-usable. It is by developing these ideals that an individual turns into the most meant production of God. On the off chance that, at the misery and enduring of a kindred individual, your affection and compassion or such other human sentiments are not awakened, on the off chance that you don't feel anguish in your heart and you don't want to attempt to mitigate the sufferings of other people, you have not been appropriately taught. An individual who has gained information and ability for material improvement alone is additionally not completely taught. Decent training should target creating the body and the brain as well as the spirit.

 Carefully, in any case, instruction isn't bound to schools, universities and colleges as it were. The family, the general public and the entire world everywhere teach us. What we realize by involvement with our down to earth life is no less significant than what we gain from schools and universities officially. Instruction is a deep rooted process. It starts during childbirth and finishes just with death. We keep on learning as long as we live.

[rubymixes-blog]

2019-03-18

          Yesterday was Sunday. That’s my day off. Is it rooted in my religious beliefs? I don’t know. The most recent thing I remember is shooting rogue religious fanatics in Far Cry 5. Whoops. It might make my grandmother unhappy, for myself, I stopped the entire believing in God brainwash a while ago. Don’t get me wrong! I tolerate everyone’s beliefs because I wish mine to be tolerated, too. What do I believe in? Hard work, integrity, loyalty. Chemistry. And science. Am I a nerd that would love to see humanity succeed in occupying Mars while working on consistently reducing fossil fuel usage? Hell, yeah! It is only a question of time until climate change will make our lives really uncomfortable. Nope, not the super hot summers, rather the onset of a never ending ice age. Who likes winter, anyway? I do, for three days. Call them Christmas holidays.

          Last Christmas I got an epilator from my mom. Thanks, but these things either hurt or don’t do shit. For a while now, I have been looking for an alternative to laser or electrolysis treatments for beard removal. Since day one of my beard growth, I wanted it to be gone forever. Little did I know that this foible would be part of a way greater challenge. I realized that I hated being viewed and perceived as a male. Carrying the burden of all the male expectations of becoming an engineer, finding a hot girlfriend, settle down, start a family. And then provide, provide, provide and provide until the day you die alone, poor and forgotten because your children and your wife considered you disposable one day. And then you become a sucker with nothing to gain and so much to lose because the death train never ceases the demand on you to provide.

          Am I being a cynic? Maybe a little. Maybe I am not ready for all the things that my surroundings would want for me, yet. Maybe I don’t give a shit about repeating this generational cycle like all of my ancestors had before me. Perhaps, me and my views on building those things have been greatly injured by the fact that my parents would do nothing else than fighting, screaming and hating each other’s guts for the majority of my teenage years. Something that burned itself into my system that I cannot fully get rid of. Something that makes me sabotage every single meaningful relationship at some point because I cling to the sickness of things eventually turning sour. My last girlfriend left me a while after I expressed the above thoughts to her. I had never gotten dumped before. She couldn’t carry the weight of me eventually becoming a woman. I understand her position in the dilemma of someone who values family more than anything. And still, she keeps calling. I wonder if I should cut her loose, eventually. Still, having one close friend can make the entire difference between me wanting to live or me wanting to die.

          I have had thoughts about committing suicide for a while now. I never did it. And I do my very best to never have it happen to me. Because while it may seem like the easy way out, it would be a display of true and irreparable failure. A life is a great investment of time and money that will likely be put to waste when choosing to end this madness. Plus, there might be a few people that might turn sad when you clock away before their time was upon them. That’s what the father of this kid told me: “Having your child die before you die, is not the way it is supposed to go”. A close friend of mine drowned in a lake we used to regularly go to after school in summer. I wasn’t there. But my world became disrupted when I had found out that he died in a hospital two days later. My dear, close friend who I had sat next to every single year since the day high school had begun. He was such a sweetheart. Never cruel to anyone. Easy-going. Always helping someone. Including me when I was struggling to cram together the right Latin vocabulary in test. His memory will never leave me.

          The lesson that is still to be learned is the realization that all things, good or bad, will eventually go away. One day, everything I said, thought, ate and smoked, will not matter anymore as my energy will transcend into light. Sometimes I wonder about the afterlife, how it is any different from the life we experience now. I am hesitant to call anything outside the individual’s scope a reality because, to me, we are the creators of our own realities which, in turn, means that we give birth to heaven and hell from the inside. My hell might be your heaven and vice versa. My heaven might be to jump out of an aircraft at 35000ft, screaming with bursts of adrenaline fueling my system while I slowly but surely approach death by impact. Case in point: I am fucked up. You are too. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it now. But never assume our notions of heaven and hell to be a mutual ground. They are not. And fuck you, if you try to convince me otherwise. I might want to get to know you. I also might want to kick your ass. Bottom line: don’t mess with me!

          Today is Monday which means open jam night at one of our downtown clubs. I enjoy going there and interacting with actual people in my scene. Every now and then, I meet a soul that I connect with, on a deeper level. Everything between jobs, hookups and friendships has come to me in this club. Most of the people over there know me. The least know how troubled I am sometimes. This is better, though, having a close circle to confide in. Let’s see who will be crossing my way tonight. I cannot wait.

#Christmas #beliefs #death #determination #Monday

[rolandfontana]

Americans and Guns: Are the Politics Changing?

Igor Volsky. Photo by Peter Dohan

Igor Volsky learned to tell the difference between what politicians say and what they do when he was growing up in the former Soviet Union.  The lesson came back to him forcefully as a teenager exposed to the debates and controversy about gun control in the U.S.

After the mass shootings in San Bernardino, Ca., (2015) and Orlando, Fl., (2016), annoyed by what he called the “risk-averse” approaches taken by politicians, he decided to form Guns Down America, a nonprofit organization aimed at harnessing the national consensus that more regulation can help reduce gun violence. He turned his policy ideas into a forthcoming book as well: Guns Down: How to Defeat the NRA and Build a Safer Future with Fewer Guns.

In a conversation with The Crime Report’s Julia Pagnamenta, Volsky explains why he thinks the chances for meaningful gun control have improved, why firearms manufacturers are vulnerable to a concerted campaign, and what he thinks the Founding Fathers might have made of the current debates over the Second Amendment.

The Crime Report: How did you get started in gun control and reduction advocacy?

IGOR VOLSKY: My entrance into the gun movement really started with a Tweet storm after the San Bernardino shooting [December 2015]. That came after a deep frustration that we have lawmakers who say the right thing after a shooting, or at the very least express their “thoughts and prayers” after a shooting, but do not actually do anything to reduce gun deaths. And so when I sat down on the computer the day of the San Bernardino shootings, I saw all of the lawmakers who voted against background checks in the aftermath of the [Sandy Hook school shootings in December 2012], now Tweeting their thoughts and prayers as if they cared about actually doing something to reduce gun deaths, that just made me really angry.

Probably because I came from a background where the gaps between what a politician actually said and what a politician actually does is really wide, and I found that to be the case on this issue.

So [gaining a platform] really brought me into the movement in a real way, and when I got to the table I recognized that there were lots of great organizations that were working on this issue, but they had a scope that was relatively narrow. Their scope was what can we get done in this Congress? What is politically possible in this moment? What incremental change can we secure? And I realized from my work on other issues that there existed a space for an organization that talked about long-term goals, that talked about where do we want to be in 10, 15, 20 years? And for me that point was a future with fewer guns and making guns harder to get. I got to that point by looking at all of the research. I looked at countries around the world and there is unanimity on the point of where there are more guns, there are more gun deaths.

The book is really an effort to reset the conversation. After the [February 2018 Parkland school  shooting] there is so much new energy in this movement. There are folks who are coming into the issue, and into politics, fresh, and we as a movement need to meet them where they are. The American public is way ahead of politicians on this issue, and I view it as my role as an advocate to help close the gap between the kinds of incremental reform that politicians are still putting forward and where I think most Americans are.

TCR: Is there a large discrepancy between where politicians stand on gun control and what the American public believes?

VOLSKY: Politicians are naturally risk averse. Whether it is guns, or whatever issue, they use talking points, framing, and messaging that is safe. You saw that same dynamic in marriage equality. In 2007, 2008, the country was clearly in a place where the country was ready to move towards marriage equality, and yet you had a bunch of Democrats running for office, or for the presidency in 2008, who would only go as far domestic or civil unions. They were just afraid that a mythical number of voters would drop out. The reason why I think Obama didn’t do it in 2008, didn’t do it in 2009, was because he was risk averse. The established and conventional wisdom was, you can’t go that far, you will alienate voters.

And we saw in 2012 once the president [Obama] embraced marriage equality, or first Joe Biden, nothing happened. Nobody cared because the public was already there. And I think the same thing is true on the gun issue.

‘Frankly, I think the gun movement [is] where we were on marriage equality in 2007 and 2008.’

[California Senator] Kamala Harris just held a town hall where she talked about background checks; where she talked about banning assault weapons. Those are all good things, we support all of those things, but it is time for lawmakers, for candidates, to meet Americans where they are; to go bolder on this issue because we really as a country have evolved on this issue. Frankly, I think the gun movement [is] where we were on marriage equality in 2007 and 2008; where Americans were in a bolder place than politicians. The purpose of the book and the organization [Guns Down America] is to move our conversation towards that bolder place.

TCR: How did your personal background influence your decision to enter gun reduction advocacy work?

VOLSKY: The reason I work in progressive politics at all is because I grew up in the Soviet Union, where you were told every single day that lawmakers were working for you, and they are making things better for you, and you are all equal/  The reality, the reason why we literally had to flee, first to Israel, and then to America was that being Jewish in the Soviet Union at that time—and I suspect is also to some degree true today in Russia—was very difficult. You were locked out of opportunities, you couldn’t go to colleges, you couldn’t get good jobs just because you were Jewish.

From a very early age [I was exposed to] the gap between what lawmakers actually say and what they do in reality. And this issue followed me to America, and so when I sat down on Dec. 2, 2015 [San Bernardino shooting] and saw the hypocrisy of “thoughts and prayers,” I [realized] I had honestly seen it before, and in that moment it really sparked an anger inside of me that I think goes back to those roots.

TCR: You write in the book that the Founding Fathers would have embraced Guns Down’s policies. Can you put this debate into historical perspective?

VOLSKY: The history here is really important. The fact that during the drafting of the Constitution and the drafting of the [Second] Amendment there was no argument about an absolute right to own a firearm, and to the extent that it was discussed, their understanding of what it meant to own a firearm really extended to the militia, not to the individual. And this notion of an individual right to own a firearm, which the Supreme Court would then find many years later in 2008 in the Heller case [District of Columbia v. Heller], that wasn’t something that we birthed in the beginning of our nation.

That is really something that came out following the revolt within the National Rifle Association  (NRA) leadership in 1977, and it came out of a multi-million dollar propaganda campaign on behalf of the NRA and the really successful work they were able to do in the legal profession through the states to build and create a new understanding of what the Second Amendment meant.

The argument that I make is that the Founding Fathers would be shocked to learn that the Second Amendment actually extended individual rights to own and have a firearm. That is certainly not the way they talked about it; that’s not the way they wrote about it; that wasn’t the debate at the time. It really evolved into that understanding as a result of a very powerful gun lobby and that of course has created a standstill in our politics and has cost hundreds of thousands of lives.

TCR: You cite research showing that Americans make up five percent of the global population, yet they make-up approximately half of the world’s civilian gun owners. Are these striking figures part of an historical continuum or did a specific event or political era trigger mass gun ownership?

VOLSKY: Americans have long had a place in their culture for guns. This didn’t make it into the final book, but it certainly started as America began to expand West. Guns were used for all kinds of purposes, to clear the land of indigenous people. That was also the case during colonial days when guns were used to enslave people and exert a degree of power. That’s just the history of guns in America. And you certainly move into what was happening during the time of the Martin Luther King assassination [April 1968], and the John F. Kennedy  assassination [November 1963], and the rise of urban unrest, and how certain parts of the population responded to that with gun ownership.

What I find more interesting is the change in the National Rifle Association (NRA) that really occurred in the latter end of the 1970s. There was new leadership at the time, and with it came this notion that any kind of gun control violates the Second Amendment. That the right within the Second Amendment is far broader than past NRA leaders, than the Supreme Court, had argued, and that’s really in many ways the starting point of gun fundamentalism that said you cannot regulate my ability to have a gun. That my freedom to have a gun for all intent of purposes is absolute. That’s an idea that the NRA birthed in the late 1970s, and that’s an idea they spent millions of dollars propagating.

So, whereas before Americans had guns, [they] also understood that those guns could be controlled for the interest of public safety. You actually saw that in the Wild West days, where many of those towns actually had very strict gun control. You saw that in the way the NRA publicly thought about guns in the early part of the 1900s; that all changed in the 1970s. So part of the argument I make is that the modern notion from gun enthusiasts that the Second Amendment is absolute, and that their right to own any kind of gun could bear almost no restriction, that’s a pure invention.

The NRA invented that for two reasons: one is to sell memberships, and two is to help the gun industry sell more guns.

TCR: You write that the NRA is powerful not only because it shapes gun policy, but also because it has built a social community and identity. 

VOLSKY: The social construct piece, the social identity of the gun owner was probably the most interesting part for me as I began researching and writing the book. It was important for me to understand: why is it that gun owners are so much more likely to call their members of Congress? [Why] are [they] so much more likely to be plugged into the advocacy on their side of the issue? The NRA doesn’t make arguments around facts and figures, they make arguments around what it means for an individual to own a firearm and what kind of individual that is.

In their construct, when you own a gun, you are a great patriot, you are somebody who is living the spirit and the ideals of our Founding Fathers, and the very core of what it means to be an American. That’s how they structure all of their arguments. If you, as a gun owner, are the quintessential American who has all the values for freedom and democracy, then the opposition is the exact opposite of that.

They are building a set of values that goes into social issues. So you are more likely to have certain views on abortion, certain views of LGBTQ rights, certain economic views. It really is an entryway for you to construct an entire worldview that everyone in your community shares. That’s really the power they were able to tap into.

The gun control movement in contrast argues in a very different way. It argues through facts and figures, and through logic. As a result, it doesn’t have the same kind of emotional resonance as the other side.

TCR: You describe how common and routine it has become for schools to engage in active shooter training. How have these shootings transformed education in this country, and the training’s psychological effects on students?

VOLSKY: I am 33. I have never undergone a lock-down drill in school. The first shooting I vividly remember is the Columbine shooting on April 20th, 1999. I was in homeroom, we heard about it, we talked about it. [But] there wasn’t any suggestion that now we are going to change all the policies, that we’re going to do active shooting drills. As I point out in the book, at that point when I was in school, the percentage of public schools that had locked down drills was relatively low. That really changed after the Newtown shooting.

It changed after [Sandy Hook] because we had so many more mass shootings, because the industry had more time to advertise their military style weapons to young people, and they do that deliberately because they want an in into that market. As a result, young people are really on the front lines of our broken gun laws, and the fact is that we, as a country, have made a decision to basically let the gun industry do whatever it wants.

When I went to the March for Our Lives [March 2018] here in D.C., I talked to a lot of students and a lot of teachers about what it meant to be in a lock-down drill. It really fell into two different camps. One camp was that it was a really traumatic experience. It’s really scary, but what’s increasingly been happening—and this is both in the anecdotes I heard, but it’s also chronicled in David and Laura Hogg’s book [#NeverAgain: A New Generation Draws the Line], and also in the movie, The Eighth Grade—is that it’s become so ubiquitous that it is now treated as a joke. This is just another thing. Even in the Parkland shooting, Laura and David Hogg talk about how in the actual shooting, when it was actually happening, a whole bunch of kids thought it was just a joke.

‘We’re more concerned about stuff  coming out of guns, rather than making sure guns don’t get into the schools.’

On top of that, you have different companies that are trying to profit from it. Having all sorts of backpacks that are bullet-proof, different vests that are bullet-proof. And so we’re in this place where we are putting our kids in danger, and we’re somehow more concerned about how to protect them from the stuff that is coming out of the guns, rather than making sure that guns don’t get into the schools, and into the movie theaters, and into the malls in the first place.

TCR: What role does American media coverage have in shaping the conversation around gun violence?

VOLSKY: What I think is important to recognize is when I started writing the book in August 2016, the movement itself was different, and the way Americans themselves related to the issue was different. Before Parkland you would walk into rooms with movement leaders, or you would walk into just general conversation, and there was a great divide between the way people would talk about mass shootings and the way people talked about everyday gun violence that plagues a lot of our urban communities. Mass shootings were always seen as a big problem that we have to solve, while everyday gun violence was barely mentioned.

As a result of the Parkland movement, and the very smart way that the leaders of that movement weaved in and connected every day gun violence to mass shootings, I think both the movement and Americans at large see the two as intertwined. As a result, I think the media is really catching up, and in many ways, closing the gap. Certainly more work still needs to be done.

In the book,  I discuss to some degree about the great community-based violence intervention programs that are running in cities across the country, like Cease Fire, and Cure Violence, and others that really changed community norms to make sure that people don’t pick up the guns in the first place. And there really is a greater recognition of that both within the general public and our elected leaders. I think we were able to make significant progress on that front.

TCR: What do you think of sociologist Zeynep Tufekci’s warning in a 2012 piece in the Atlantic in which she cautions newspapers and the media against printing “detailed information about the killer and his methods” because it possibly generates a copy-cat effect?

VOLSKY: In all of my work, and certainly in the book, with the exception of the Australian chapter, I don’t talk about the perpetrators. I don’t even frankly know their names because I don’t want to glorify the perpetrators and the killers.

More broadly, there is research, you are citing some of it, into the notion that the perpetrators of mass shootings are not necessarily copying other shooters. Some of them certainly are, and some of them have admitted to it. But the other factor here is that they have a fantasy of being in a shoot-out with police, of attracting the kind of attention that these acts generate, and that’s part of the calculus of committing the crime. I have no interest in feeding into that.

TCR: In certain European countries, such as Great Britain, the vast majority of law enforcement personnel don’t carry guns. Do you think that weaponizing our law enforcement contributes to perpetuating violence in our society?

VOLSKY: Research on this shows we have over 393 million guns in circulation and that in the states with higher rates of gun ownership, the police are three times more likely to die than in states with lower gun ownership. It’s also true the opposite way. You are more likely to die at the hands of police if you live in an area with higher rates of gun ownership. That suggests our rate of gun ownership in the United States puts both us and law enforcement officials at risk. It’s also a fact that law enforcement is not immune from this shoot-first, ask-questions-second culture that the NRA perpetuates. All of these are factors that contribute to the problem.

Can we move to a place where law enforcement officials don’t carry firearms? I’ll just say that in a country with 393 million guns that’s a challenge, a great challenge. I think the policing aspect and police brutality is something that the gun control movement hasn’t really grappled with. But it is something that they are stepping into and recognizing that they are part of the same general problem that we are all trying to solve. I fully recognize that it is incredibly complex, but that our ubiquity of firearms is certainly a contributing factor.

TCR: Please describe Guns Down proposals, such as the New Second Amendment Compact.

VOLSKY: The New Second Amendment Compact is [intended to] balance our unbalanced approach to firearms, and to propose a series of proposals that will help get us to a long-term goal of building a future with fewer guns. It’s basically divided into three different buckets.

The first bucket is cracking down on the gun industry. That’s significant because the industry is highly unregulated, and made a business decision in the late 1980s, early 1990s to make firearms of increased lethality, so we’re in a situation where people are dying from gunshot wounds that they would otherwise be surviving because the industry needs to market a new, more powerful weapon. That’s a huge problem and we really need to regulate the industry in a serious way. I propose in the book that the Consumer Safety Board regulate these firearms. We really have to start with the big fish and that’s the industry.

Bucket two is making it significantly harder to get [guns]. I write in the book about all of the latest science that shows that background checks only work in the context of a larger licensing system where it takes a lot longer between when you want the gun and when you actually get a gun. When the checks you have to go through, and the hoops you have to jump through, are far more extensive, we know that works in reducing gun deaths, both suicide and gun crimes. Both domestically and internationally.

The final bucket is an effort to deal with and reduce deaths in urban environments. That’s really about funding community based programs that we know work in changing behaviors and ensuring that people deal with offenses or fights or disagreements in a way that does not include firearms.

TCR: Let’s go back to your first bucket. In the debate around gun violence reduction and control the focus is on gun owners, but in your view transformation hinges on a top-down approach that holds big industries, such as gun manufacturers, accountable.

VOLSKY: Yeah, the top down approach is incredibly important. Part of the reason why we’re in this cycle is because the industry and the lobbies changed the conversation around the Second Amendment, around guns, and these industries pumped much more powerful weapons into our communities and they have not been held accountable.

So the group I run, Guns Down America, is really focused on weakening the industry. The other reason why going after the industry and the lobby is so important is because a lot of times the solutions we talk about are focused on criminalizing the gun owner. I spend some time in the book talking about whatever our solution is we can’t go down the route of criminalizing the gun owner, which historically has disproportionately impacted communities of color, while at the same time giving the industry and the lobby a pass. We can’t stand for that, we can’t make the same mistakes we’ve made in the past. That’s part of the reason why I’ve been emphasizing the industry over the user end.

See also, National Police Foundation report: “Does a Code of Silence Among Students, Parents Abet School Shootings?”

Julia Pagnamenta is a contributing writer to The Crime Report. Readers’ comments are welcome.

Americans and Guns: Are the Politics Changing? syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/

[dawnajaynes32]

Technology, Speed Driving Design for Adidas Hockey

Matty Merrill, design director for Adidas Hockey, was tired of his laptop heating up sitting on the passenger seat on his commute from work, just hoping he could get a National Hockey League (NHL) jersey design rendered before he reached home.

Those days are over for Merrill and the rest of the design team at the Adidas North American Headquarters in Portland, Oregon.

Using a combination of technology and speed, the design team has not only created a new paradigm for NHL teams to view and interact in jersey creation, but also a fresh process for the Adidas Hockey design team to make it happen, cutting down time from design-to-product and increasing customer satisfaction.

A New Workflow

The first simple step included moving rendering services to the in-house server, freeing up space on Merrill’s laptop and keeping it humming along quickly. But where the quickness really took shape was in the way Merrill interacted with teams.

Designing a NHL sweater must balance tradition with forward-thinking trends. The Adizero uniform, the lightest jersey Adidas has made, comes with plenty of durability. But making it perform better — articulated sleeves add curve so it doesn’t bunch around the player’s glove, for example — brings up design challenges, such as some sleeve stripes now requiring seven different pieces to make them come together properly.

The Adidas team uses 3D modeling to create patterns, solving for issues on the fly. With the help of CLO, a fashion modeling program, “we were able to see before we sent to the factory how the stripes were going to work,” Merrill says. “We found new ideas in that process as well.”

With CLO allowing the design team to see 3D models of tweaks and concepts as they happen, Merrill brought that into conversations with individual NHL teams. He was able to draft ideas while they talked. Using a collaborative password-protected website, teams can log on and see the progress of their uniform designs, whether when on the phone with Merrill making changes or at any point 24/7.

All the new tools remove the idea of creating a deck, sending it the league, walking them through the PDF on a call and then gaining approval. Now with rendering on the fly, Merrill says he makes ideas come to life right in front of their eyes. “That is something a league would never trust with a partner in the past,” he says. “Now they do.”

Using the website, teams can see mood boards, colors and drawings live on the site weeks before a scheduled phone call.

Ease of Rending

Taking the 3D modeling a step further, the Adidas virtual reality team created an environment to show off uniforms, a perfect way to highlight potential new designs to teams or league executives when in face-to-face meetings. The technology allows designers to create a full-size rending of the design, place it on an athlete and, with virtual reality, let people walk around the player to see how the stripes work, how the number sizes fit and how the colors mesh. The process also helps designers get a feel for the true size and scope of a project.

“One of the benefits of Adidas is we are a big company,” Merrill says. “There is a lot of R&D, digital creation, VR experience and forward thinking. There are a lot of tools that allow us to work really quickly. We have done things on calls with the NHL that has really surprised people.”

“We are hearing back from leagues and teams about how we are working while they are asleep,” says Nic Corbett, director of NHL relations for Adidas Hockey. “Matty’s team is obsessing about the design and the product. That is the expectation and that is what we are here for.”

Results in Real Time

The software tools provide deep information on fit. By putting the garment’s specs into the system and loading it on a scanned model of an athlete, his team can change the fit and pattern and see the result in real time. Building in actual size, the program kicks out beautiful 3D renderings. Then, adding another level of speed to the process, the same document used to create presentations is the one handed over to factories for production. No longer are precise and complicated measurements needed to, for example, explain exactly where the numbers on the jersey go. Now that info comes loaded into the document.

“Not only are the pictures prettier, but your first sample is going to be accurate much more frequently,” Merrill says. And with each sample review taking four months, that means any cutting of samples can eliminate months of lead time from design to product.

Using these tools, Adidas has created a new language around NHL designs. From fresh perspectives on the league’s main franchises, such as its Winter Classic outdoor game, Stadium Series events of even All-Star. Adidas is working with each team to ensure that 2019 gives teams a new third jersey to help tell a story. But the most innovative idea came when Adidas and EA Sports collaborated for a “Digital 6” production.

This is where Merrill’s team — from a NHL uniform designer with 20 years of experience to a 20-something female designer who grew up playing hockey in Connecticut — had fun giving the six original NHL franchises a completely new look available only inside the sport’s most popular video game.

With the NHL and the teams fully on board with the project, the design team created new looks for a game using the same process needed for a real uniform creation. “If I needed to sew them, I would be able to sew the jersey together,” Merrill says.

A Fourth Dimension

Merrill says the EA collaboration — a non-transactional partnership between Adidas and EA Sports — was a great exercise for his team, but also proved important for the six franchises. “They are the oldest franchises, the most historic,” he says. “They don’t change their jerseys lightly. This is a big deal and it was very liberating for them. It was like opening the fourth dimension in the design brain of what we could do for a team.”

As Corbett says, the EA project was the type of work that created a more legitimate dialogue with the Adidas Hockey design team and the NHL teams. “We are not doing costumes, but creating uniforms,” he says. “Anybody can have fun with crayons, but we were doing it in a meaningful way.”

That meaning comes with a new level of speed and creativity for the design team at Adidas Hockey.

All images courtesy Adidas Hockey. Tim Newcomb covers sports design for HOW Design including the latest on the NHL All-Star Logos. Follow him on Twitter at @tdnewcomb.

The post Technology, Speed Driving Design for Adidas Hockey appeared first on HOW Design.

Technology, Speed Driving Design for Adidas Hockey syndicated post

[ashleyhoward15-blog]

A Commercial of Controversy

In this entry I will examine how my artifact does or does not fit Isocrates criteria of good rhetoric. Doing an analysis on this artifact I will tell if the artifact is an example of “good rhetoric” and ethical/ productive for democracy/society. The rhetorical artifact I have chosen is a commercial that sprung a lot of controversy all over the media. The larger question everyone debated over, was whether or not the commercial was ethical to society considering the social climate of the time.

To examine these questions I analyzed a 2017 pepsi commercial that sprung huge controversy as my rhetorical artifact. Most drinking commercials portray a sense of togetherness or community. This was the clear goal of the pepsi commercial. However, what made the commercial controversial was using a reality star celebrity, Kendall Jenner giving a police officer a pepsi in the midst of what appeared to be a peaceful protest about different social issues going on in today’s society. The commercial showed protestors marching down the street holding signs that say “love” and “join the conversation” as well as signs with peace signs and equality symbols. The crowd comes to a stop by a line of police officers with deadpan faces and tension between them. Kendall emerges through the crowd with a pepsi in hand and gives it to a police officer with a smile that follows after the first sip. The crowd cheers and high fives after the confrontation. The pepsi commercial is boarding the lines of what is ethical and moral and fails somse of Isocrates requirements for what he considers as “good rhetoric”.

Isocrates states that rhetoric cannot be good unless it reflects circumstance, propriety, and originality” (Isocrates, 2000). He places an emphasis on telling the truth within rhetoric. Isocrates is claiming that it is easy to receive knowledge and perspective form rhetoric but it’s important to consider the circumstance and the way it’s presented (Isocrates, 2000). In other words anyone can make claims with no actual truth and persuade an audience that what they are saying is truthful, he makes this critique against the sophists. Isocrates “good rhetoric” requirements forces rhetoric to be accurate and representative of the message presented. The pepsi commercial is able to follow originality and propriety but fails to reflect the circumstance of the current social climate making it not ethical/productive for society.

The pepsi commercial meets Isocrates requirement of originality by sending a message in a way that is not typically done in commercials. They presented societies social issues to gain the attention of their audience to then send their message. An effective way to communicate to your audience is to establish something they can relate to. The truth about our society is that we use protest to come together to share a message. Pepsi successfully dose this. The obvious goal of the commercial was to show that the pepsi product brings people together. Creativity promotes originality which promotes education. Isocrates would agree that when there needs to be understanding to something that is original because there is knowledge that comes with that. The commercial shows propriety by giving a representation of people coming together through peaceful protest. A peaceful protest is the standard society sets as a productive route to effective communication to get a message across. Pepsi is using a societal standard to represent the standard they set for their own company, which is the idea that if you drink pepsi you can come together and do great things. While the commercial is able to accomplish originality and propriety it fails to represent the truth of the circumstance they are trying to convey.  

With our current political climate people are fighting for rights and equality that can completely change the nation, to do this they have been using riots and protest to convey their concerns on matters important to them. The issues people are fighting for are not solved through a quick fix like the the pepsi commercial is portraying this is the truth about the circumstance of the commercial. While a quick fix may not be the intention behind the commercial it is a message that is being conveyed. Not showing the reality and truth behind riots and protest makes the commercial unethical and not productive to society. According to Isocrates you cannot convey a message without careful consideration and specific intention he uses the words embellish to describe how carefully a message needs to be put together (Isocrates, 2000). Pepsi did not put careful consideration to the message being conveyed through their commercial. If they did, a protest and pepsi would not have paired together the way it was.  

A sophosits would argue that “whenever a statement is made, if things turn out just as stated then its true, but if it does not then it’s false” (Gagarin, 1995).  This means that if the intentions of the pepsi commercial were to show a quick fix to controversial issues then that is true but if it wasn’t then that’s not what it shows. Since the truth can’t determined as something truthful or not there is no ethics or morals behind the message. The issue that Isocrates has with Sophists and rhetoric is the telling of truth. Sophists believe that truth is subjective. The reality that lies behind protest is not something that is subjective.

How protest are portrayed are extremely crucial to our social environment. Protesting is a social platform that under the scope of the media, it’s not something to be taken lightly. How a message is perceived in the media can truly shape the minds of the audience, “Some suggest that images, especially emotional or noxious ones such as those often shown in news coverage, are more readily encoded in a way that makes them more persistently available in memory than verbal or textual information (Arpan et al., 2006). Pepsi used a circumstance they knew would be emotionally triggering and used it to benefit their company. This relates to what Isocartes says about sophists receiving pay to teach people things they have no knowledge about. Good rhetoric involves those who uses his model “would much more rightly pay than receive money, because they attempt to teach others although they themselves need much instruction” (Isocrates, 2000).  

The commercial is truly bordering on what is ethical and what is not.  It is not productive for society because it does not represent society. For this rhetorical artifact to be considered good rhetoric according to Isocrates standard it would need to fulfill the circumstance. A better way to convey their message of pepsi bringing people together instead of it being a quick fix is to show the pepsi company standing against a certain social issue.

Works cited

Arpan, L. M., Baker, K., Lee, Y., Jung, T., Lorusso, L., & Smith, J. (2006). News Coverage of Social Protests and the Effects of Photographs and Prior Attitudes. Mass Communication and Society, 9(1), 1-20. doi:10.1207/s15327825mcs0901_1

Kylie, K. A. (2017, April 04). Retrieved December 9, 2018, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA5Yq1DLSmQ

Isocrates. (2000). Against the Sophists. (D.C. Mirhady and Y. Lee Too, Trans.) (pp.61-66). Austin University of Texas Press. (Original work published in c. 390 B.C.E.)

[theinvinciblenoob]

Only a few years ago, OpenStack was the hottest open-source project around, with a bustling startup ecosystem to boot. The project, which gives enterprises the tools to run the equivalent of AWS in their own private data centers, ran into trouble as it tried to tackle too many individual projects at the same time and enterprises took longer than expected to adopt it. That meant many a startup floundered or was acquired before it was able to gain traction while the nonprofit foundation that manages the project started to scale back its big tent approach and refocused on its core services.

The height of the OpenStack hype was around late 2014, where even small startups used their copious venture funding to host lavish parties at the project’s conferences. But by 2016, it was deep in the trough of disillusionment as a number of major backers like HPE, Cisco and IBM started to sell off their OpenStack assets or reduce their involvement in the project, and some of the startups in the ecosystem called it quits. But something interesting happened after that. The OpenStack project moved along, fixed many of its problems and adapted to a changing world where everybody wants to talk about containers and edge computing.

Today, it’s a stable system that’s the de facto standard for running private clouds. There’s very little hype, but now there’s lots of actual usage. Only a few years ago, there was plenty of hype, but you would’ve been hard pressed to find any major company that ran a significant OpenStack deployment in production. People who made an early bet on OpenStack and seemed miserable a year ago now have a bit of bounce in their step again. And lately, I’ve heard from a number of vendors, including the likes of Suse, that tell me they make more money from OpenStack now than at any time during the hype phase. Indeed, according to the Foundation’s latest stats, OpenStack users now use the system to manage well over 10 million cores of compute power.

“There is a perception versus reality thing,” OpenStack Foundation CTO Mark Collier told me. “We’re past the peak of the hype cycle for this particular technology in people’s minds. And so there’s this interesting paradox which is that adoption tends to go up as hype goes down.”

Stable systems are boring, though, and so it’s maybe no surprise that the OpenStack Foundation decided that it’s time to redirect some of its community’s energy to tackle some new problems, all with a focus on open source infrastructure problems, but without the requirement that they are tied directly to the actual OpenStack project. That’s a move that started more than a year ago and that’s now starting to take concrete form.

At the OpenStack Summit in Berlin this week, the OpenStack Foundation announced that this would be the last of its bi-annual conferences under this name. Going forward, it’ll be the Open Infrastructure Summit. For some, that was surely a major surprise — though the Foundation had been laying the groundwork for this for a while now. Don’t expect the Foundation itself to change its name, though. Just like the Linux Foundation is keeping its name even though it now helps manage a plethora of other foundations, the OpenStack Foundation isn’t about to spend a lot of money and energy rebranding.

What is changing, though, is the nature of what the Foundation is doing. A board meeting earlier the week made official the Foundation’s process for adopting new projects outside of the core OpenStack project. There’s now a process for adding so-called “pilot projects” and fostering them for a minimum of 18 months. With this, the Foundation is also making it clear that its focus for these projects will be on continuous integration and continuous delivery (CI/CD), container infrastructure, edge computing, data center and artificial intelligence and machine learning. There are currently four of these pilot projects: Airship, Kata Containers, StarlingX and Zuul.

None of these projects are new — and all of them are in different stages of development — but it’s a start for OpenStack to spread its wings. The idea here is not to manage dozens of projects, though — or to increase the Foundation’s revenue by setting up new foundations inside the current framework. “We’re not trying to have dozens of projects,” OpenStack’s VP of marketing and community services Lauren Sell explained. “It’s really this tighter, more focused scope around people who run or manage infrastructure.” There’s also no additional bureaucracy — at least for the time being. “We have not created new boards of directors or foundations for each project,” Collier added. “We’re also not trying to house a huge amount of projects. We have a specific form of open collaboration that we feel has really proven it works with OpenStack. And a few people started coming to us going: we’d like to use that same model.”

The Foundation members are the first to acknowledge that there are still details that need to be worked out — and that will take a while.

At the same time, though, OpenStack — the actual technology — isn’t going anywhere, and will remain core to the Foundation’s efforts. “We said very clearly this week that open infrastructure starts with OpenStack, so it’s not separate from it. OpenStack is the anchor tenant of the whole concept,” Collier said. “The core OpenStack community is really thinking about how OpenStack is deployed and it’s always deployed with other technologies and some of these can now be more easily collaborated with and integrated with because they’re happening at the same events.” Sell echoed this. “We’re not moving away from OpenStack,” she told me. “This is not separate from OpenStack. All that we are doing is actually meant to make OpenStack better.”

Canonical founder Mark Shuttleworth has a slightly different opinion about the current direction of the Foundation, though. He seems to be worried that the focus on multiple projects will take away from the core OpenStack project. “OpenStack suffered when there wasn’t clarity about the mission,” he said. “And I hope that in broadening the scope of what they as the Foundation want to worry about won’t confuse people about OpenStack.” Today, he believes, OpenStack is in a good spot because it delivers on a specific set of promises. “I would really like to see the Foundation employ the key contributors to OpenStack so that the heart of OpenStack had long-term stability that wasn’t subject to a popularity contest every six months,” he added.

There can be no doubt that today, a number of companies are back to doubling down on OpenStack as their core focus. Mirantis, for example, was one of the earliest and best-known (and well-funded) backers of the project. A year ago, it looked like the company was going to switch its focus to application delivery and away from infrastructure. Today, it’s still building out that side of its business, but as co-founders Adrian Ionel and Boris Renski told me, the OpenStack side of its business is growing, with both new customers coming on board and existing customers like Adobe and Apple expanding their deployments. “Something changed,” Renski. He attributed that change to the Foundation’s focus on edge computing. “I think as the edge is becoming more relevant and more of a real thing, it’s actually possible to productize OpenStack much better.”

Interestingly, much of the interest in OpenStack today is in China. The U.S. market for OpenStack, on the other hand, is still growing, but at a far slower pace. Collier attributed the success in China to the fact that the country has massive infrastructure need and that it has embraced open source. “If you have those two criteria, you’re going to run OpenStack like crazy,” he said. “What else are you going to run?” He did add, though, that the Chinese government has also gotten involved in evangelizing technology standards and that many a group in the government has identified OpenStack as one of those.

While OpenStack feels like it’s back on track, though, this move to broaden the Foundation’s scope also sets it up for some competition with the Linux Foundation, and especially the Cloud Native Computing Foundation, which it manages. A number of pundits at the event were surprised that Ceph, an open-source storage service that’s at the core of many major OpenStack deployments, as well as container-based platforms, formed its own foundation under the Linux Foundation earlier this week.

Sell and Collier don’t see it that way, though. “I think it’s a strong statement that [the Ceph Foundation] had a really successful event here and made the announcement from here,” Sell said. “I think that shows that some of these foundation lines and where projects live is not as significant as you may think it is.”

“I think that what matters to us is that the people from the Ceph community feel welcome here,” Collier added. “And all we really want to do is have the people collaborate and have the technology work together. Where the actual pieces of software that are put together ultimately live in terms of foundations, it’s not that important.”

He also noted that he never saw a user who cared whether a project lived in the Apache Foundation or the Linux Foundation, for example. What matters instead is the community around a project. He did acknowledge, though, that the foundations that manage projects obviously matter — and that this is important enough that the OpenStack Foundation is changing to accommodate the projects that would be a good fit under its auspices.

No matter how this will eventually play out, though, it’s been interesting to watch the journey of OpenStack over the last few years. When I first really started paying attention to it, it was at the top of the hype cycle. Those parties were fun, but OpenStack hadn’t proven itself. Then, the approach of bringing in lots of projects started to muddle the project’s mission and, at the same, the startup ecosystem began to flounder as enterprise adoption materialized at a glacial pace. Some companies, like Mirantis, had raised enough money to hang in there, though, and those are now finally reaping the rewards. What didn’t go away, though, was the community that built the project, and many of the large corporate backers. In part, that’s because more use cases for private data centers have emerged. Telcos, banks and others are betting on those — and there are simply no real alternatives to OpenStack for them.

Today, OpenStack itself is frankly boring. There are no major new features. Nobody is pumping a lot of money into the OpenStack ecosystem. But the enterprise world is just fine with that, because those companies aren’t betting their business on OpenStack because it’s the cool new thing. At the same time, the OpenStack Foundation is also reinventing itself to react to the needs of its community. And as new projects emerge, maybe the hype cycle will start over again.

via TechCrunch

#IFTTT #TechCrunch