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ruporas · 1 year

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bound to want (part two) /// part one rest of pages under READ MORE after ID

[ID: 23 page digital comic of Vashwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic is in a limited palette of a dark blue, light pink, white, black, and a light beige color for Vash's skin and a mid-brown color for Wolfwood's. This comic is the second part to "Bound to Want" and is spoiler-free. The first part is linked here.

It begins with a panel close up of Vash's expressions. The sky colored in dark blue can be seen behind him. He has a neutral expression, but he holds a slight frown and the reflection of his glasses covers one side of his eyes. Wolfwood says, "Hey. What's with the distance?" In the second panel, the shot widens to show both of them, a clear physical distance separating them with Wolfwood walking ahead and Vash trailing a little behind. Vash responds, "What? I'm just walking a bit slower today..." Wolfwood looks at him with a an irritated expression, clicking his tongue. Wolfwood says, "I was going to wait for you to start... But yer just running away away."

Vash is seen looking away, unable to hold eye contact with Wolfwood as he continues, "You've been avoiding me since that night. Did ya think I wouldn't notice? It's about that dream, right? Tell me about it already if you're going to be moping like this." Vash looks slightly downwards, his brows furrowing and he starts to walk ahead of Wolfwood without looking at him and responds stiffly, "I really don't want to talk about it..." Wolfwood looks at him with a surprised expression, but doesn't probe.

A panel close up to Wolfwood's eyes as he watches Vash go on ahead before he follows suite with an irritated sigh. The panels are overlapped by Wolfwood's hand holding the bottle of the Bride with motion lines, indicating a transition in time.

A wide shot of Vash and Wolfwood in a room now. Vash is seated, his back turned away from the viewer, while Wolfwood's body faces the viewer with his eyes looking towards Vash. He rests the bottle of the Bride on the table with a "clack" and his other hand holds two shotglasses. The background is coated in a light pink.

A panel shows a close up of Wolfwood's face, his eyes looking downwards to Vash as he says, "Let's drink." Next to this panel is Vash looking up at Wolfwood, his brows furrowed and a slight frown. The bottom half of the page is a wider shot with Vash's body turned away from the viewer as he says, "I'm not going to talk about it." Wolfwood responds, "You don't have to." as he sits down.

A wide panel of Wolfwood holding the shotglass, pouring in the drink as he continues, "I'll talk." The next panel is a profile view of Wolfwood, his eyes looking down at the now filled shotglass as he continues to say, "You're..."

"... upset with me." Vash can be seen next to this speech bubble with narrowed eyes, looking towards Wolfwood. The panels are all coated in with a dark blue background. Wolfwood continues, "I can't be certain why since yer not telling me a thing -- but it's probably... my bad." The panels show Wolfwood about to bring the shotglass to his mouth but he turns way as he continued to speak, his eyes not on Vash. The bottom page shows him looking away completely with a guilty expression as he says, "I'm sorry.

If you can ever tell me why, I can try and adjust to make it more bearable. But if you're just trying to get rid of me--" The panels follow Wolfwood's certain expression as he says this, "I don't intend to leave you. I can't... and I won't." A panel shows Vash's wide-eyed expression, surprised upon hearing this, and then his eyes soften as Wolfwood again concludes with, "I'm sorry."

Vash's inner thoughts begins, a boxed speech at the center of the page and panels of his eyes, his brows furrowing again and a resigned, but frustrated expression. His thoughts starts, "Stop. I shouldn't be happy hearing that. And why are you apologizing? I should be the one to..! I can't let anything like that happen to you. You deserve to live a long steady and peaceful life. I want to be optimistic. I want to protect you, but I might end up doing the opposite." The text surrounds Wolfwood from Vash's perspective, the other man drinking out of his shotglass, his eyes downcasted.

"I shouldn't have you. And you won't leave." Behind these text is a panel of Wolfwood's eyes finally looking over to Vash. Vash's thoughts continues, "It's so unfair." When Wolfwood sees Vash, his eyes soften and he frowns. The last panel shows the lower half of Vash's face, but tears begins to flow down his cheek. Wolfwood's hand is already reaching to wipe at them as he starts to say, "You know..."

A wider shot of Vash and Wolfwood, Vash slightly leaning forward with his mouth tightly shut, and tears steadily continuing to flow out of his closed eyes. Wolfwood continues to wipe at them with his hand as he continues, "This isn't a dream anymore. I don't know what you saw for you to be this shaken up, but whatever happened, you'll overcome it, right? If not you, I'm here too. You'll be okay, Spikey. So..." Wolfwood's expression grows more tender, "Have a little faith in me... and come back already." The dark blue starts to fade.

The wide panel has the dark blue background faded and replaced is the light pink. It shows Vash in full up to his shoulders, his eyes are still tears littered, but there's light in them as he says, "Wolfwood..." making eye contact with the other. The next panel shows Wolfwood's tender expression, his eyes and brows fully soften and he has a small smile on his lips, finally seeing the other return a level of sincerity with him.

The next panel shows the bottom half of Wolfwood's face and his hand is offered towards Vash for a dance as he says, "C'mon. We don't have to talk, but this is okay, right?" The background is now white and a ribbon flowing across the page separates this panel from the next sequence. Vash's inner thoughts continus, "I've spent too long avoiding this. It's scary to want after I've taken so much from others." A sequence close up of their hands is shown, with Wolfwood's outstretched hand on the right and Vash's reaching hand on the left. Vash gently places his hand in Wolfwood and at the bottom, Wolfwood wraps his fingers across Vash's.

Throughout the page, a dark blue ribbon starts to flow around the both of them with confetti raining alongside the effect. Vash and Wolfwood are hand and hand, dancing together with Wolfwood as the lead. The viewer can see a peak of Vash's expression, full of fondness but also a hint of sorrow as he looks down at Wolfwood. His inner thoughts continue, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But why is that even though I have these burdens, I still want to love you. I still want you to be by my side."

With a close up of their mouths, Vash's thoughts continue, the text covering his mouth, "Wolfwood, I--" Wolfwood's speech bubble covers Vash's text as he completes his sentence, "want you." Vash's eyes widen for one panel and in the next, his eyes spark, a blush appearing on his cheek and the confetti flows and spark. Tears ease up on his eyes again.

"Want me too already, Spikey." Wolfwood has leaned in enough to rest his head against Vash, a hand of his on Vash's neck, holding his nape and another hand pressed gently against his back. A ribbon separates this panel from the next, a mix of confetti flows across the page, as Vash envelopes Wolfwood in a hug too, holding him and his hand gripping tightly onto his back.

This page is just the ribbon flowly throughout the page on the white background, one white ribbon and the other a dark blue. Near the bottom, the ribbon envelopes each other in a loop. A conversation of Vash and Wolfwood is held over these ribbons, Vash starting to say, "What if I hurt you? What if you..?" Wolfwood responds, "You? How could you hurt me?" Vash, "You know what I mean... You see it everyday..." Wolfwood responds, "If you think I'm going to kick the bucket so easily, I suggest you look at me more closely from now on, idiot. I'm not that easy to get rid of."

The next page has the ribbon criss cross over the top of the page. Vash and Wolfwood can be seen in their dancing position again, Wolfwood now resting a hand on Vash's shoulder, as Vash takes the lead. Vash continues, "Well, I know that... I tried." Wolfwood responds, "But you won't anymore... since you want me... around, yeah?" Wolfwood's head cocks to the side, smiling with assurance, cheeks flushed. Vash looks at him with a wide smile and fond, loving eyes. The confetti flows across the bottom of this page and as it eases into the next page, it starts to disappear.

Vash responds, ".. Yeah... I do..." as he pulls Wolfwood into a hug again. Wolfwood says, "Not going to run away anymore, are you?" Vash says, "No... I trust you." A panel shows Wolfwood's turning away slightly with a shy expression, muttering "Geez..."

In a more simplified style, Wolfwood is seen gripping Vash's cheeks now with his hand, "Though... You do remember you avoided me for two weeks straight, right? How are you going to make that up to me?" Wolfwood asks. Vash responds with eyes closed and a pucker of his lips. A vein of irritation appears on Wolfwood's face. Wolfwood starts to squeeze at Vash's cheek with both hands, shouting, "Now that you've recovered, you're trying to be funny, huh?!" Vash says through the squished cheeks, "I'm just happy..."

The next page opens with a closed up panel of Vash's widen eye as Wolfwood's hand moves from squishing his cheeks to gently holding them and Wolfwood leans in. The inner thoughts starts again, "There's a chance I'm not making the right choice... My dreams, my fears of losing you, it will never go away. But you said you won't let it happen... And I want to hang onto your words closely this time. After all, if it's anyone who can make me believe, it's you." The white ribbon from previous pages flows across the page and it visibly ends at the bottom of the page, enclosing the two of them as they share a gentle kiss with Vash holding Wolfwood's face, a tear in his eye.

The next pages starts with Wolfwood saying, "You cryin' again?" Vash responds, "I'm just grateful..." Wolfwood responds, "But you've always had me." Vash responds, "Being like this is different from staring at you from behind all the time though..." The two can be seen together again, Wolfwood pressing his elbows against the table with Vash leaning over him. Wolfwood is easing the tears out of Vash's eye again, just like earlier. A close panel of Vash's fond expression is seen as he says, "Thank you, Wolfwood." Wolfwood looks up at him with a small smile, gentle eyes. Confetti starts to flow lightly across the page as text starts to appear against the white background, "I'm the one who's grateful...

That you'd embrace someone like me, when I'm not fit to hold you in the first place... But I know better than to hesitate. The moment I acknowledged it, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life loving you. So, have as much of me as you want, Vash."

The final page shows the confetti gently falling down the page and at the bottom shows Vash and Wolfwood pressing their foreheads together, Wolfwood's hands cupping the side of Vash's face gently, and both of them smiling brightly with each other. ID END]

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #its done.... after 2 months.... collapses on the ground #theres a lot of things i would prob change about this but. its so sappy that it makes me a little happy where it ended up #they deserve a little sap too!!! and in the end this is the closest they could get to a first confession #through want! want in each other's life and company since they both have this strained relationship with keeping people permanent in their #lives... and the people or things that are tied to them in the long term tend to be something that harms them.#and as the saying goes -- good things never last! and im sure they prob gave up trying to find a good thing for a long time #vash managed to be found after the moon accident and got his good thing for a bit but even he prob knew itd come to an end eventually #ironically it was wolfwood that ended it. but he really just planted smth new for vash... and now they have some security #or at least vash does. or at least just for this one moment #a moment of bliss and feeling like they are deserving of love is so Fluctuating for vashwood #and ultimately i think wolfwood could only push onwards to initiate because he sensed there was smth vash wanted. and its just #naturally in wolfwood to give to those that he love #but anyway anyway.... i like to think in a sweet universe -- they had the chance to confess like this and got a little bit of time to #enjoy and share their company in this manner. to be a little less restrained and love each other freely #ruporas art

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itsaboutspies · 11 days

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Absolutely love that the hatchetfield series brought so many new fans to starkid but I wish people would let non hatchetfield things be non hatchetfield and not try relate it back to it all the time

#and im sure its not just newer fans doing this #but i imagine a lot of people doing this are the people who discovered them through hatchetfield #but cinderellas castle doesnt need to be past hatchetfield or anything #which so many people seem to be hoping for #why cant we just let it be its own separate thing #also people on the live stream chats freaking out at every hatchetfield mention as if its a crazy thing for them to bring up as if its not #something they've spent a long time working on recently so obviously lots to say about it #i guess it doesnt really matter abd nobody is actually harming anyone with this i just think it's a strange attitude to have #anyway i am so hype for Cinderellas castle i love fairytales #starkid

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 month

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so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi pd #william wisp #vyncent sol #THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece #i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that #if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho #BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH #FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE #i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony #recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day #ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS #its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not #well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i

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robynrocksforbrains · 8 months

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Mike Wheeler is important and there's nothing wrong with analyzing him

Since y'all wanna be insufferable bitches about it I'm gonna explain to you why he's important, why Will loves him, why his struggles should be acknowledged, and why his character depth is pivotal to byler endgame being a satisfying conclusion for both Mike AND Will. Deal with it!

We are not seeing smoke where there isn't a flame. We are seeing smoke where there is a literal fucking forest fire.

Starting off with something a lot of people aren't ready for but I've seen more people talking about: Mike is the main character of s1 at the very least. He is the character that brings us into the world of stranger things. He is the character that the writers chose for this. Mike is the main character of s1 and it was an instant hit. The writers love Mike. Contrary to popular belief, giving a character an arc where they are struggling and their behavior changes from what is normal for the character we know and love does NOT mean the writers hate that character. It means they deliberately chose to give that character complexity and depth. Your inability to like characters that do anything wrong ever is not the fault of the writers. Your decision to act as if a character is not important is not reflective of the actual narrative because it in fact is in direct opposition to the narrative. So just to be clear, if you genuinely believe that Mike isn't important, or that the writers hate him, or don't care about him, or that his story "takes away" from any other character's - ESPECIALLY WILL'S - you are simply wrong.

In s1 and s2 Mike is established as an extremely caring person. He's loving, loyal, brave, intelligent, and trying his best. He is also established to be hot headed, someone who speaks without thinking quite often, someone who is capable of hurting his friends despite that being the last thing he wants to do. He is all of these things and more. He is a human. He is a kid. So in s3, when suddenly he is entirely different, it is completely logical to assume that there is a reason for that. He did not just wake up one day and decide he wanted to be an asshole, push Will away, make his friends feel abandoned, and echo the same sentiments their bullies held. Something is happening with him. He has so much going on in his head and it is painfully obvious. He's holding something in, he's hiding from everyone and from himself. We see glimpses of what he's trying to hide after Will calls him out on his behavior. Will gets through to him. Mike is usually unresponsive to tough love, except for when it's coming from Will. After their fight, it is obvious that he's trying to be better. But he still doesn't wanna face certain things, and he doesn't know how to navigate that. Because he's 13 years old.

There is a reason for all of that internal conflict. There is a reason it comes pouring out of him at certain times. He's crumbling. He is quite literally falling apart because he's holding on to too much. It's not a stretch to assume that, it just takes basic media literacy. Why would the writers have Mike act this way if he was just supposed to be a one dimensional character? Why would Finn be directed to portray Mike the way he does if there was nothing more going on? There are times where Mike looks like he's in physical pain because of his internal conflict. There is a reason for that. And acknowledging that DOES NOT mean people are taking away from Will. That's the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Do y'all seriously not understand that more than one character can have emotionally complex storylines? Genuinely asking, is this a new concept for you?

Will's love for Mike

Will is head over heels in love with Mike. That is very much established. So when you're dismissing the emotional depth of Mike's individual arc because you think acknowledging it "takes away from Will" you are actually diminishing the significance of a huge aspect of Will's emotional arc. By taking away the significance of Mike, you take away from the significance of Will.

Let's do a quick recap of the very significant role Mike has played in Will's entire life:

Mike is Will's first friend.

They have grown up together and it can be assumed that they've reached important milestones together.

Mike has always been a safe person for Will. He's been a constant in Will's very chaotic and unfair life. Until the summer of '85, Mike had always been something good in Will's life. (That's not to say he is no longer something good, but it can be assumed that the summer of '85 is the first time Mike has been a causal factor in Will's unhappiness)

When Will went missing, Mike did not hesitate to search for him. It wasn't even a question of if. The moment he knew Will was missing he knew exactly what he'd be doing that night. He spearheaded the search amongst the party. He was the leader.

When Will came back, Mike was the only person that didn't treat him like he was gonna break. He cared for him, and he was there for him, but he didn't treat him differently; Will tells us as much. Which means we can infer that the way Mike was with Will in s2 - how gentle and loving he was - was nothing new. He had just always been like that.

When Will was possessed, Mike stayed by his side. Even when it was scary, even when it could've gotten him killed, he stayed. Because once again, for him, it wasn't even a question. That's just where he knew he needed to be. He was in the shed when they were trying to get through to Will. He was set apart from Lucas and Dustin, but he also wasn't equated to family. And his retelling of the story of the day they first met was the final push Will needed to find a way to communicate.

After a year of things being "weird" between them, Mike tells Will that he didn't deserve to be treated the way he had been. Mike tells him that he wants them to be okay again, and for the rest of the season he puts in the work.

Things get rough in s3, and at the beginning of s4, and despite all of that, Will confesses his love (albeit veiled). In a moment where Mike is feeling awful about himself, he tells him that he loves him and needs him, and he tells him why. And to him it doesn't matter that he's breaking his own heart to do it, because it's Mike. Mike, who makes him feel like he's not a mistake at all, and that he's better for being different. For Will, there was no other option. The person he loves was hurting and he knew how to help, and so he did.

Mike is the first person Will tells about Vecna still being alive. Because they're back to being a team. He knows he can trust Mike, and Mike seems to be very determined to prove him right.

SO.

These are all real and canon aspects of Mike's presence in Will's life. Will falling in love with Mike isn't something that just happened for no reason. Will fell in love with Mike because of who Mike is. When you acknowledge that, and when you acknowledge the reasons they've set out for why Will loves him - the reasons Will literally told us - you can better understand Will. But when you dismiss all of these things about Mike, you are dismissing a large portion of Will's emotional and romantic arc. You aren't being a Will Warrior. You are erasing so much of him and his feelings and his lived experience. That is not the hill you wanna die on.

Will loves a person. Not a feeling. Yes, he says that Mike makes him feel like he's not a mistake and that he's better for being different. But that's not why he loves him. He feels that way because he loves him.

Mike is a fully fleshed out character with his own feelings and struggles and fears and traumas and motivations. He's not a plot device. He's not just an accessory to Will's arc. He's not a character that was written only to be Will's love interest. He's Will's love interest because he's Mike.

If Mike didn't matter, and if Mike didn't play a significant role in byler, then they would be able to write in a love interest for Will in s5 and have it be somewhat satisfying. But they can't do that. Will's love for Mike has so much depth because Mike has so much depth. It is genuinely crazy that this has to be stated and that I have to back up this claim because it is simply a canon fact.

So yes, the rain fight affects Mike's character development and his involvement in it is important. Yes, the van scene literally could not exist without Mike and therefore his involvement in it is incredibly important. Yes, every single byler moment has an impact on Mike, and Mike has an impact on it because they are BYLER moments. Yes, Mike will have a lot of significant moments - with Will AND on his own - in s5 because his arc deserves and needs as much attention as Will's in order to execute byler endgame in a satisfying way.

No, none of these facts negate Will's importance or take away from his story. If anything, they add to it because Mike and Will's arcs are corresponding and intertwined.

Mike's struggles

To name a few

Dysfunctional family

Has been bullied his entire life

Extreme self worth issues

Inferiority complex

Hero complex

Lack of self preservation

Suicidal ideation (has been on display since SEASON ONE)

Internalized homophobia

To get this out of the way: Mike's internalized homophobia is allowed to be discussed. Discussion of it is not the dismissal of Will's internalized homophobia. Surprise surprise, two queer kids in the 80s have internalized homophobia! Who'd'a thunk it?! Their internalized homophobia presents in different ways but it is there for both of them. I personally relate to the way Mike's is portrayed way more than I relate to Will's. So why is it that we can't discuss it without being accused of erasing Will's experience? Or without people saying that we're "copy and pasting" Will's story? Because quite frankly, that feels dismissive of my - and likely many others' - real and lived experience. So please for the love of all things that are good just stop with this talking point because it will never hold up.

Moving on

I'm not gonna do a full breakdown of all of Mike's issues. Because contrary to popular belief, there are a lot. And that would be exhausting and I'd get carried away and it's not the point of this post. The point of this post is to defend the acknowledgement and mere existence of them.

If you're a byler that for some reason thinks Mike only exists to be Will's love interest and his trophy as compensation for his trauma, let me ask you this: Have you considered how awful it would be to have a queer character's individuality and emotional depth completely ignored for the sake of focusing on the queer character that "really matters"?

If Mike's own issues, with his queer identity and otherwise, aren't thoroughly explored... What's the point of all this? If Mike really is insignificant in this storyline and his individuality has no effect on it.. where's the emotional payoff? If his perspective doesn't matter... Why have the writers gone to such great lengths to ensure we don't have that piece of the puzzle yet?

Analyzing Mike and understanding Mike is very important to understanding byler. Once again, I think it's crazy that this needs to be said.

I also think it's important to note that characters can have similar struggles. There's no rule against that. Just like real life. Characters having similar struggles is not a bad thing, and acknowledging that their struggles are similar is not dismissive of either character. We're talking about STRANGER THINGS. Jonathan and Nancy's thing is "we've got shared trauma". They have literal matching scars. Shared experiences are some of the main building blocks for this show's romances. Byler has a TON of shared experience, basically their entire lives. We already know that. So wouldn't it be so beautiful for them to learn that they've been struggling with the same thing this whole time? That the entire time they felt alone in what they were going through when really they had each other and they never even knew it? Wouldn't it be so beautiful for Mike's acceptance of Will and Will's love for him was also a step toward accepting himself? Wouldn't it be beautiful for Will to learn that his love makes Mike feel like he's not a mistake? None of that would be in the realm of possibility if Mike didn't have emotional depth and if his individuality wasn't important.

And that leads me to my concluding point...

A satisfying execution of byler endgame hinges on Mike's individual emotional arc being handled well

God I hope this isn't controversial to say. I sincerely hope most people haven't forgotten that.

Here's a hypothetical:

Imagine season five has been released. You're watching it, and you notice that Mike has been relegated to just a supporting character for Will. We don't get any of his perspective. We don't get any explanation for his s3 and early s4 behavior. His breakup with El doesn't have any real tangible effect on him, it's really just used for El's character development. We never see him pining for Will like we saw Will pining for him. And then suddenly Mike is learning about the painting and then suddenly he's confessing his love and then suddenly byler is canon and official.

Now wouldn't that just be awful? Wouldn't that be unfair to the audience, to Mike, and to Will? For us to never learn just how much Mike had to go through to even be able to say it out loud? For Mike to never get the chance to prove to himself through word and action that he is the heart? For Will to never get an explanation for why things did get so "weird" between them? It would leave us with one big, nagging question: What was the point of everything Mike has said and done throughout the entire show if his conclusion is that lackluster?

Disregarding Mike for a moment (I know that's incredibly ironic given what the entire point of this is but just bear with me) - how would that be a satisfying conclusion for Will? I mean, Will's s4 arc was basically dedicated to showcasing his struggle with his sexuality and with his love for Mike. We were shown just how deep that love is. We were shown how patient, unselfish, unwavering, and beautiful that love is. So how would it be satisfying for Mike's love for him to not be shown with just as much depth? How would it be satisfying for Mike to just be a one dimensional character whose s5 arc is essentially "break up with girlfriend, wait to find out best friend is in love with him, say he loves him back, then they live happily ever after"? I think Will deserves for his love to be returned with the same intensity at which he gives it. And I think it should be clear to the audience and to Will himself.

Back to Mike!

Mike has been through so much shit. I don't think anyone that is denying that actually believes he hasn't been through shit. Because you'd actually have to watch the show on mute and with your eyes closed to think this kid hasn't had just the worst time. It's so ignorant to act as if this stuff hasn't affected him. There's stuff we've seen but there's stuff we also haven't seen. There are issues he has that date back to his childhood pre-canon. Just like Will, Mike has been a queer kid growing up in 80s smalltown conservative america. Acknowledging the pain he 100% carries because of that is so important. His perspective has been withheld from us, not because it's unimportant, but because it's the final puzzle piece. If we had Mike's perspective in s4, byler wouldn't be a "will they won't they" (even though we all know they will). If we got his perspective in s4, byler would be a "100% certain without a doubt they will". But the thing about his perspective is that it's so much more than just loving Will. It's fear. It's pain. It's insecurity. It's doubt. It's the belief that his happiness just doesn't matter all that much. All of that has to be explored. All of that has to be laid out in the open for us in order for byler endgame to feel earned. Mike's emotional payoff will lead to byler's emotional payoff.

Mike has known he loves Will. In s5 we will see him make a deliberate and active effort to overcome the things keeping him from doing something about it. And then he will do something about it.

And so when it finally happens. When both Mike and Will finally know that their feelings are requited, and when their arcs end with us knowing that they will face whatever life has in store for them together, that will feel earned. That will feel like the logical conclusion for both of them. Not just for Mike. Not just for Will. For both.

And Mike is just as important to that conclusion as Will is.

And one last thing...

Some people are going to talk about Mike more. Some people are going to talk about Will more. Because newsflash, people have preferences. Some people just relate to Mike more, or they find his emotional arc extremely compelling, or they just like him. It isn't an attack on Will or any other character. No one is saying Mike is more important than any other character (I'm sure there are people that say that but they are a vocal minority and they are simply wrong). We are just saying that he is important. If you wanna engage in media analysis, please understand that "main character" or "central character" does not mean "only important character" and "only character that should be analyzed". If you wanna talk about Will and only Will, that's fine. But you don't get to act like people that talk about other characters are doing a disservice to your fave, because that's not how any of this works.

#mike defenders i need you to back me up on this #i hope my points come across well #anyway #the way people have been talking about mike lately is so infuriating #its called BYLER analysis because its the analysis of BYLER the ship involving will AND mike #st fandom consistently proving that they have absolutely no idea how fandom works #its almost like people wanna talk about things they care about and you dont get to tell them to shut up #if you dont wanna see people talking about mike you can just mute tags about him #but if you dont wanna talk about mike youre missing a huge part of the byler puzzle and thats your loss #please just let people discuss whatever they want to discuss as long as its not ACTUALLY harmful #sometimes i think y'all are allergic to fun #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler analysis #will byers #< this is about him too #byler analysis #byler endgame #stranger things

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densitywell · 9 months

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the thing is, like, imogen is blunt, and indecisive, and impulsive. she's cynical, angry at the world, and seemingly much less interested in doing good than in holding on to her loved ones. she's hypocritical, incredibly violent one moment and horrified at the prospect the next. she's passive aggressive, on occasion. she's overly critical. she's scatterbrained.

and all of that stuff is very fucking fascinating, and so fun to watch, and core to what makes her her. but not only are those things not the totality of imogen as a character, they're very much inextricable from the things that make her sympathetic.

imogen has spent much of the last decade of her life in pain, and isolated because of it. when she wasn't alone she couldn't relax, having to keep tight control over her mind so as to not get overwhelmed or invade the privacy of others. because even through all that pain and loneliness, she still bore the responsibility not to impose on other people's minds. and when she fails or slips up or gives in, all of the distrust and suspicion she recieves regardless is suddenly viewed as justified.

which is not to say imogen is not responsible for her actions, or the harm she causes others. of course she is! no one is saying she isn't! but, just like literally every other person, her actions don't exist in a void but within the context of both her past and present.

analyzing that context and coming up with explanations of her behavior that consider it is not excusing her actions or refusing to acknowledge her flaws. it is not coddling imogen to sympathize with her even when she's fucking up. these are pretty standard ways to discuss a character you enjoy actually! it's weird that having a nuanced perspective on a character's actions is being treated as an issue!

#imogen temult #critical role #cr #i mean. to get into it a little bit. one benefit of this approach to character analysis is that it often gives you takes that feel #much truer to the text than “imogen speaks into people's heads to manipulate them and she was the one who abandoned her dad” which. how #to get into it even more its so fun that the “not being hypercritical of imogen is sexist actually” discourse is happening mere days after #the “anyone questioning orym's decisions clearly hates him and liam and also conflict and flawed characters in general” discouse. lol #if laura had given a monologue announcing “imogen has seen the cycle of harm and is choosing to perpetuate it” i wld talk abt that too. btw #were i without a massive headache i would devote more attention to anticipating and responding to counterarguments #but we're just gonna have to take the “if you get it you get it” route on this and release this post like a wild animal into a crowded room #ok bye. actually i have an imodna specific followup but then bye.#long post /#CRposting

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boarcide · 5 months

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There is something so good about Akutagawa--a very much feared, boogeyman like figure (even amongst his own men) in Yokohama because of his violence, bloodlust, and steadfast loyalty to a violent criminal organization such as the Port Mafia--given biblical angel symbolism

I don't know, something something about someone whose beauty is so incomprehensible and terrifying to most. He's not physically ugly, he's not--he's beautiful, the type of beautiful that almost feel as if he's not a real person, like he's a mirage, or a painting. But he's beautiful not like those renaissance cherubs and lovely looking maidens for angels, but more like the biblical angels with their beauty beyond mortal grasp, the beauty that brings fear and revulsion towards whoever sees them because they cannot comprehend it. Coming across him makes you understand why angels say, "Be not afraid" when they reveal themselves to mortals. An incomprehensible beauty that very few can keep looking at. A dangerous feat, literally and metaphorically.

(This isn't only with his physical appearance either--for someone who is constantly beaten down both by canon and by the fandom for being "simple", he is a terrifying bundle of different aspects that contradict each other. Like a super machine you open up and you see the intricate criss crossing of wires and bolts that hold it together. He's a mess of nerves and feelings and experiences so profound, so horrific, that you don't know where to start with him. To uncoil him and see him truly bare is almost impossible. Where does he end and the roots that connect him to the earth begin?)

Something about Akutagawa being an angel, a being created entirely to follow the will of "God", obey their every word. Unwavering loyalty to their master while singing praise. Acting entirely on the order of their master--wing always dipped in blood for his sake. A weapon of "heaven' that brings destruction to those who oppose "God" and be one of the many upon which "God" rests upon.

(Almost everything Akutagawa does is for the sake of the Port Mafia, taking orders from the "master" (boss) himself. Willingness and obedience and loyalty repeatedly exploited and used, everything he has done as one of the high ranking leaders handling most of the Mafia's dirty work playing a part so Mori's throne stays high.)

Something about comparing Akutagawa to a certain archangel, finding repulsion in "God"'s cherished creation, the inferiority that came with being "less" to "mankind", and the painful fall from grace to the deepest pits of despair when he confronts the being that created him, molded him, and then condemn him. And to his humiliation, mankind, for centuries, condemns him too.

(He can't be compared to Lucifer, God's most beloved angel. Maybe Dazai did value him, but it doesn't matter, does it? because the difference between the two is that one was cherished and one never was. However, you can compare the rage and humiliation Akutagawa felt towards Atsushi--for obtaining Dazai's approval and affection with no effort, no proper control over his skill or any seemingly differentiating quality-- to Lucifer's refusal to bow down to humanity--a creation inherently imperfect and lackluster, with not the qualities of angels. And as a result? Disgraced. Both by the creator and by ones that held their creator's favor. )

Something about Akutagawa being an angel--someone whose presence means nothing pleasant to those he appears before. A reaper of sorts, responsible for taking life and for souls to see the afterlife (killing both as an order and an act of mercy, for he despises torture and meaningless suffering). A guardian angel watching over "mankind" from afar, where he is not aware and saving him from certain death at his own expense.

There's just something so appealing about depicting Akutagawa--a fearsome, ruthless, and bloodthirsty mafioso, a boogeyman to his own men--as an angel, be it of death, of mercy, a destroying angel-- whatever anyone wants to see him as and use him for.

#ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #character analysis #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #this post was brought to you by delulu gang #I just love akutagawa I love how despite how monstrous his actions are he looks almost angelic while doing it #maybe not angelic is the conventional sense but what is an angelic abomination if not an angel #ive said he's beautiful the way a spider is beautiful and its true #its much more accurate in a sense: he's all long limbs #cloaked in black #eyes too big and eerie #and many people don't like him the way they dont like spiders. the way people harm and attack or straight up avoid him #he's like a spider that had been crushed under the sole of your heels until he pops #but he is equally an angelic beauty; equally as divine as he is grotesque and horrifying #he is ultimately incomprehensible to most people. those who don't bother to look deeper at him #Even those who do “know” him do not know his heart. Dazai may know what he wants and how he works but he does not know his heart #anyways good morning America

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rosalinesurvived · 6 months

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Right where you left me is a buraiha trio song, but really both Dazai and Ango believe each other (and Oda having died and reunited with his kids) have moved on (Dazai in the light of the ADA, Ango having never cared to begin with) (in each other’s opinions!!) when really, none of them have ever truly moved on, they all misunderstand each other and they’re all stuck there

#misunderstanding trio <3 #bsd #love the idea that. they dont really get each other yknow? sure they loved each other but #odango #odazai #dazango #bungou stray dogs #buraiha trio #dazai osamu #sakaguchi ango #oda sakunosuke #buraiha #odazango #help i’m still at the restaurant still sitting in a corner i haunt cross legged in the dim light they said what a sad sight #i caused no harm minded my own business if our love died young i can’t bear witness and its been so long if you ever think you got it wrong #dazai and ango reconcilliation heart to heart fucking WHEN #bungo stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bungo sd

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kangals · 11 days

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thank you for such a thorough answer to my question about COI!! i don’t know anything at all about dog breeding, all of mine have come off the streets lol. it is BONKERS to me that the breed average for collies is 40%. so does that mean that most of the collies i see out in the world are kind of related? also i know you said w dobermans there’s not really any way to breed away from it, is it the same with collies? are breeders working to move that average % down?

thank you for sending me an ask that tickled the 'adhd special interests' section of my brain lmao

so are all collies related - yes and no. yes, in the sense that they all descend from the same ancestors and share genetics. no, in the sense that on paper they're not related. for example: stellina comes from a long-time breeder of show dogs on the US east coast. @as-old-roads audrey (my beloved) was a rehome who originally came from a midwest puppy mill. our dogs do not have any shared members of the family tree for several generations back. they're, at best, extremely distant cousins. and when we compared their DNA test results... they were 50% genetic matches for each other. that's not from being actual relatives - that's just because the collie gene pool is small enough that if you take a random scoop, you overlap with someone else 🤷

is there a way to breed away from high COI - not really, which is the tricky part of it. COI will always accumulate over time, meaning that as long as no new blood is introduced, each generation will have higher COI than the last. the way to combat this is A) start with a very large population of founding dogs (obv not an option for collies anymore, as the breed was developed in the 1800s); B) allow new blood through an "open studbook" (anyone with a collie-ish dog can breed their dog and have the offspring registered as collies if it's determined they look enough like a pure collie); or C) dedicated outcross programs (specifically seeking out unrelated collie-type dogs to cross to pure collies and then breeding those offspring back to pure collies to try and add more diversity without sacrificing the breed type)

the first option (large founding population) isn't viable anymore - we know that the original collies were developed from the native working farm dogs in whats now the UK, and then people said 'hey these dogs are pretty' and started breeding them specifically for bench/show moreso than herding, which is what makes the collies such a (IMO) lovely blend of herding and companion/family dog. we know other dogs were crossed in during development, but we don't have records of what: we've heard rumors that borzoi were added, and gordon setter, among others, but we can't say for sure. but regardless, this ship has sailed.

the second two options - the open studbook and outcross problems - are workable in theory, however they're not magic fix-alls. while COI/diversity is very important, it's also not the end-all be-all to health (as evidence by the fact that collies as a breed are doing really good health-wise). however, the biggest positive is also the biggest negative: you're diluting what's already in the gene pool. collies have high COI, but they also have very unique temperaments - they're very gentle, polite, exceptional with children, watchful but non-aggressive, intelligent, driven but not obsessive. i love the collie personality - that's what makes them collies, and not just random fluffy herding dogs. the idea of bringing in non-collies to the studbooks and creating generations of dogs that didn't have that same unique collie personality is so, so sad for me to think about. and yes in theory you can try and breed back to the traits you like, but what if you've now introduced, say, resource guarding into the gene pool? or fearfulness? or a health issue like DCM? there's such a fine line as to what makes a breed a breed, and it is very easy to deviate from that, even accidentally.

are breeders working to move the COI down - 😬 ymmv but most of the breeders i've talked to have a very "well it's not a problem so i'm not concerned" type of thinking about it. which, again, yeah the dogs are healthy now, but i think it shows a serious lack of foresight to not be concerned. but, these high COI show dogs are producing very consistent puppies who are doing consistently well at shows, so that's whats being bred. and that means that the breeders who are passionate about breeding and showing The Collie, and the breeders who want to do outcrosses and open studbooks, tend to have very, very little overlap. i've not seen any outcross programs that are worth following IMO (and i don't consider "old time scotch collie" to be outcross programs, as those OTSC dogs are supposed to be significantly different. if you're not aiming to keep your dogs part of the original breed, then it's not an outcross, it's a different breed).

i would love to see collie breeders and the collie breed club actually work together and focus on specific, dedicated outcross projects. or a formal procedure for allowing new blood into the studbooks. but unless something happens to really light a fire under their asses, i doubt it'll happen. so for now i'll stick with my worryingly-high COI dogs, with the temperaments and health that i love, and hope that the breed manages to defy the odds and stay healthy.

#long post #breed politics are incredibly messy #and breeders become harder to defend in breeds like dobermans or french bulldogs where the current state of the dogs IS causing harm #and breeders still refuse to outcross or make any changes. and at that point its like ok well you all suck then.#collies its more a grey area. but i still dont trust it.

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ddenji · 5 months

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‘normal’ denji isn't denji anymore

okay for some reason i have a lot of thoughts about this damn crow because it just seemed so random at first. but it struck me as interesting while I was reading the chapter that the crow is paralleled with pochita here, with both of them on their backs and denji looking back towards them. the comparison was really just making me about how stepping on and killing a crow/animal is something denji neverrr would have done before, and the implications of this moment given some of the things we know about denji and his values.

due to the fact that he's very animal coded himself (specifically dog coded of course), denji has a connection/ respect for most animals as non ‘moral’ beings who aren't looking to hurt him in the way humans and devils are. i think there's also an element of him relating to other beings that are looked down on, as he's been looked down on pretty much his whole life. he would definitely feel guilty to kill an animal (or really anyone/thing that wasn't trying to hurt him) in the earlier chapters of part 1.

following that, pochita was the most important thing in the world to him & their relationship informs denji’s philosophies and moralities. to that end, he viewed pochita as a pet but also as an equal; they were in it together in denji’s eyes. which establishes denji’s unwillingness to look down on a “pet” and similarly, other animals, just because they aren't human, or from the opposite side, his willingness to consider animals or other 'lesser' species as equally important.

later on, we see denji come to understand power better because of her relationship with meowy, which he sees as resembling his relationship with pochita. the fact that she would do anything for this cat makes him see her in a better, more empathetic light, because that's a trait he has himself and values greatly.

and of course, we cant forget the panel where he chooses to save the cat instead of multiple people, which can be read in many different ways, but for my purpose specifically, it means that denji sees value in saving the cat, even over human lives. this once again makes clear his willingness to consider 'lesser' species as important. saving the cat is an equally valid choice in that scenario, because it's still a life to save.

i’m sure there are other instances i’m forgetting, but the key thing is that all of those instances made him the version of denji that was able to be chainsaw man. his own doglike nature, his connection with pochita because of their mutually respectful relationship despite being different species, his connection with power through animals and his choice to save the cat were all distinctly traits that denji valued when he was still able to be chainsaw man. and so, we turn back to ch 150.

currently, denji is so caught up in trying to return to his normal life and justifying his happiness that he accidentally kills an animal. in this moment, he has become so far removed from many of the things that he valued, from many of the things that made him him. very similarly, chasing his dream of a normal life has forced him to give up being chainsaw man - another thing that makes denji distinctly himself, and something that he values very much.

so, i see killing the crow as a moment that snaps denji out of his desire for a normal life because there is a direct cost, a direct violence now that is attached to following this desire. he has trampled on another being while chasing his goal, which is exactly what others have done to him in the past when he was considered a "lesser" being. he could bear to sacrifice things himself for the sake of nayuta and his newfound normalcy, but in that moment, he has gone so against his values that he held in part one that he can’t look past it anymore. his dream isn't just affecting himself anymore, unlike all of his previous dreams. and so he reflects, and with the help of his inner-conciousness-pochita, he realizes that it’s time for a new dream. or perhaps it's just time to return to a life that was never a dream in the first place.

#chainsaw man #csm meta #csm 150 #chainsaw man manga spoilers #long post #csm #spence.speaks #listen this is a lot to infer from just one crow okay.#do i even know if he killed it? no. maybe it was already dead on the ground and fujimoto is the only one that knows that.#do i think it probably has other meanings? yes #buttt i really have a lot of feelings about denjis very complex morality #and i think one of the shining aspects of his morality is his connection with animals #and others who dont have malicious reasons to hurt him #sooo this just seems like a moment that would go so against that #plus his previous goals really only affected himself #and thats partially because he only had himself to look out for #but its also because he is not a violent/malicious/harmful person without reason #anyways. enjoy this fucking ted talk of a post. that is about one (1) crow.

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lavleyart · 7 months

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If somehing gives you comfort and happiness it doesn't matter how "cringe" others think it is.

Hell, life is too short to deny yourself comfort and happiness. Why would you do that to yourself?

#random thought of the day #as long as its nothing that harms you or others

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sualne · 8 months

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Sualne: ofc they know each other, otherwise it'd be too sad

Also Sualne: Makes Ace suffer alone

Btwww it's not a hate comment or anything I just found it very funny, the duality of Sualne ✨️✨️✨️

ace IS a very sad character! :'D he says something in his light novel (that i havent read but really need to (law's too)) about how he probably would've killed himself if it hadn't been for sabo and luffy, im forcing him to survive till he can meet luffy in the au, but i have to keep that passive suicidality of his in there! ace even in canon was not doing fine at all!!

the duality of sualne, lol, i havent even started the angst yet.

here a lil ace ive drawn for concepts art and planning reasons:

#crocau ask #suicide mention #my art #described in alt text #if i think about him for too long i go 'aughhauuuagh' yknow #since this au exist because i was rereading his death i need him in there. to be important and all.#this au is kind of a 'everyone was harmed in the process of making this' but for the characters in it.#ive actually started sketching out some of the more angstier/violent part of the story and im thinking. i hope nobody feels tricked #by the cute stuff and gets mad. also wondering about what kind of warning i'll need to use #angst/tragedy is better enjoyed if there's something to love. to lose before it all go south. if its misery then more misery and no breaks #thats just too sad!!! unrelated but ive been thinking its funny ace looks more like croc than luffy does.

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mugentakeda · 25 days

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I still think abt it every now and then yk. Got me sitting here wondering if the figure reaching for zuko was azulon or ozai. fuck.

IT WAS OZAI!!! lu ten sees azulon as like. Well. anyone who has a weird elder or older adult relative in your family thats freakishly religious and always says really unhinged shit at random times and you want to stay away from them as much as possible but they keep insisting to sit by you or talk to you and then you have to pretend to be respectful and nice.

but lu ten sees ozai as a fucking opp. like he wouldnt piss on ozai if he was on fire. thats how deep that hatred goes. its so bad his brainwashed subconscious remembers it. and on top of hating ozai, as lu ten got older and started becoming suspicious of how he treated the kids and ursa, he started getting weirdly hypervigilant?? and like he felt like he had to keep his guard up Always. started memorizing footsteps and getting agitated when he has to be out of the palace for longer than 1 (one) hour but then getting nervous on the way BACK to the palace because What If Ozai Exploded The Palace And The World Ended And You Will Die In The Next Five Seconds. or something.

and because lu ten knew ozai was smart he was always afraid that ozai knew what was up and would like… do something. and lu ten wouldnt be able to control it. idk. lu ten just genuinely tweaks when it comes to ozai and that dream is his instincts and soul and heart and everything but his brain screaming at him at full volume to GO HOME NOW RIGHT NOW!!!!111

but then he wakes up as liuju again and hes like man what the hell was that. And hes unsettled for weeks because vivid dreams like that are never for no reason

#and in the rare occasion he tells long feng about it cus he thinks theres no harm in it?#he wakes up the next day dazed and confused cus long feng knew what was up #and put in for an impromptu brainwashing session. Just In Case.#ITS VERY WEIRD!!!#asks #dai li lu ten

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handmemyshovel · 9 months

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imagine: horatio, stuck in a never-ending play.

the first go around it’s normal. he doesn’t realize he is in a play, this is just life as it always is. he is coming from college to see his friend and his father’s funeral. but horatio notices the chaos that seems almost staged. but he doesn’t think too much of anything unusual, this is life as it always is! just… chaotic. sad. a friend in pain but what can he do about it? thinking of it… maybe he brought his own friend into this madness, into his death. and as fortinbras steps in and the stage goes dark, horatio is suddenly swept back in time. back to that night.

it’s the second play, but horatio doesn’t know it. he looks at bernardo and marcellus, wondering how he got here. notices how they repeat the exact words that happened nights ago, horatio responds with what seems natural. he says the same things too. and it all repeats. horatio is filled with fear and confusion as it all repeats itself. he tries to piece things together. if all this is happening does that mean hamlet will appear again too? back from the dead? he suggests letting hamlet speak to the ghost and marcellus and bernardo don’t mention anything of the prince’s death. he is still alive then? was it all just a horrible dream? but if it was, why are things going exactly like what happened in that nightmare? why is horatio’s one best friend lying dead in his arms again? why is no one doing anything to stop this? in his confusion he only plays along, unable to comprehend what is happening around him.

until he is taken to that night again. on the spot horatio almost breaks into tears. god, why is he here again? take him away from this nightmare. but there he stays. this time he decides to pay more attention to what’s happening. he makes sure that everything is as remembered, and it is.

he pieces things together in his mind. he realizes that between scenes he would be on stage he has an extremely fuzzy memory of what happened. he realizes that when he tries to say something different than what his head tells him to it doesn’t come out. he can only say what is written. sure, he can change the tone, he can delay the line, but he always says it. another thing he can do is change his actions — as long as it doesn’t mess with how the play is being acted out as it causes him quite literal pain to do so. he does those things as much as he can. he delays lines, tries to say certain lines as if he doesn’t mean them. (e.g. he suggests hamlet speaks to the ghost in a sarcastic or unconvincing manner, gets on his knees begging and clinging onto hamlet for him not to speak to the ghost/duel laertes) another thing horatio makes sure to do is take every word hamlet speaks in. he’s heard it all multiple times now, but it means something, it means something. the words hamlet says to him before his death. horatio knows what’s to come, so why not make the good parts better?

the fourth go around, horatio tries the hardest he can to change what is happening around him. he’s in the flow now and trying to get out of it. it’s his primary goal. but the more he tries, the more he seems to be going mad with hamlet, and ophelia, and about everyone else.

and nothing is changed, not the fourth, the fifth, the sixth go around. hours and hours of the same thing, horatio can’t take it. no one could possibly take it. as hamlet speaks of the longing of death, horatio now understands and agrees. but of course, he could never say that to hamlet, he must encourage him, even if nothing is changed in the effort.

but in the seventh play horatio gives up in trying to change things. he says each line emotionless. his energy in every action is drained. he can’t take it anymore, he simply can’t. whenever he sees hamlet, he is attached to him like a leech. he can’t let go of the man. every time hamlet talks of death he weeps onto him, every line horatio delivers filled with tears, and what does it matter? nothing is changed.

finally, finally, on the eighth play horatio gives up. entirely. he delays each line as much as possible, pursing his lips until his own body forces the words out breathlessly, denying an action until the overwhelming pain of doing so, too, forces him to do it. under his breath he will mumble the lines of others that he now has memorized from the endless times he has already heard them. every death brings him sobbing, collapsing on the floor. he’ll think: “it must be my fault, i always bring hamlet to the ghost, i always bring him in the picture. i make him mad, but i can’t do otherwise, i can’t. and all this harm… i cannot get away from it, i just want away from it. i just want happiness again. for hamlet, for me, for us all.” horatio knows at this point that no matter how hard he tries, nothing will change. and if he doesn’t take action, he’ll be stuck in this hell forever. so, when it comes to the last scene, he knows what he must do.

hamlet is begging in his arms for horatio to tell his story, but horatio can’t do that. he can’t. it’s a horrible way to go out, denying the dying wish of his love, but he can’t do otherwise. he has already tried to change things and he can’t take it anymore. he drinks the poison. and in doing so there is so much pain. the pain of rejecting the play’s reality. but he ignores the aching he has in every muscle, in his head, everything feeling like it’s about to explode. he ignores it. and he drinks the poison. he ends the play. he doesn’t tell the story. horatio finally gets his rest. and, god, he deserves it.

#i did not mean for this to be so long but i got carried away #oh and no one else knows its a play btw #I hate to bring harm to my blorbo but just imagine it #and imagine putting other characters through it...#sorry i will never capitalize shit #hamlet #horatio #brainrot #someone shut me up!

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