#asexual people are cooler than you! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aroacewolfic · 6 months

Text

I'm aroace and therefore I am cooler than you because I just am

#all aro/ace spec people are cooler than you #deal with it #im a god and your not #aro/ace people are just better #aromantic #aro #aroace #acespec #aroace pride #aromantic asexual #arospec #asexual #ace #ace pride

245 notes · View notes

mars-ipan · 4 months

Text

look i love my asexual headcanons to death and what i’m about to say in no way discounts said asexual headcanons. with that disclosed i do not think aziraphale is a “virgin” (<- virginity isn’t real but you get my point) take one look at that angel and tell me he didn’t go to bacchanals i mean come the fuck on

#marzi speaks #i have no opinion nor do i care about whether people think crowley fucks. i think it’s funny if he doesn’t but i could see it either way #but aziraphale? while i don’t think it’s his favorite thing in the world you cannot tell me he never dabbled #bacchanals (and dionysian raves before that) seem right up his alley #plus there’s the fucking. ‘discreet gentlemen’s club’ (THE FUCKING HUNDRED GUINEAS CLUB??? SIR.)#and this guy lives in soho!!!! i mean truly #i don’t think he really seeks sex out or anything #i mean there’s those diary entries where he turns down the woman who essentially flashes him (and i believe a man later?)#so like he’s clearly not someone who really wants sex that much #but there’s no way in hell he never tried it at least once. he’s wayyyy too curious for that #i have a feeling he really stopped ‘trying it out’ after 1941 though. i feel like after he realizes just how deeply he feels for crowley #he’d like. feel Extra Weird about having sex with anyone else #especially bc he isn’t attracted to humans (perhaps beyond like aesthetic attraction)#but he’s definitely dabbled #crowley? could go either way. on one hand: demon. temptations. et cetera #on the other: he’s far less cool than he acts and while having sex isn’t necessarily cool it feels like smth he’d lie about to seem cooler #plus i doubt he’d ever really have any proper interest in humans. probably even less so than aziraphale #see this still coincides with the asexual headcanons. it’s chill 👍

10 notes · View notes

cowrunnerhighonu · 2 months

Text

Uttara Asadha; Cool Girl Beauty(Profile)

Kate Moss & Jennie Kim Both Uttara Asadha Sun

“She does what she wants and she looks cool doing it”- On Kate Moss

This nakshatra has pretty defined, harmonious features which looks shockingly scary and unusual. This nakshatra is located in Sagittarius & Capricorn. Capricorn gives them a very busy,unbothered, business woman type of vibe while their Sagittarius keeps them outgoing, social and charming + free spirited. Sagittarius brings a horse-like quality to their physiognomy while Capricorn structures, restricts and balances the features giving them a masculine edge. And the Sun overall gives them this bright,cool chill vibe

Wide Set Quality To The Eyes. Their yoni isthe mongoose and their physiognomy can give a mongoose-like effect. And due to the heat of the Sun, freckles and moles can manifest in Uttara Asadha.

There are 2 types of Sun Dominant Woman

One which is extroverted,bubbly, loud, very popular(social media prettiness), the other is the quiet, ambitious, chill & unbothered type

These Sun is a very charismatic, radiant planet and in the world you need to have a charisma to get thru life with ease and Sun Dominant People in general got that IT Factor(Good Charms) unless they are socially retarded which can happen to Sun Woman to experience social anxiety due to childhood traumas or just unfortunate events since the sun is a very generous planet which got no protection and is endlessly giving thus that’s why they need a more cooler type of man as they are not for the weaks, insecure type of men. The sun woman is abundant in sexual energy but can be asexual due to Uttara Asadha having no sexual yoni pairing. The Sun Dominant men have it more easier than the woman tbh.

A Side Note: Uttara Phalguni is the most sexual and socia of the Sun Nakshatras while Uttara Asadha can be uninterested in yin behaviours(relationships, boys & gossiping & etc)

Addison Rae(Uttara Asadha) and Charlie D Amelio(Uttara Phalguni) both got famous off TikTok for dancing

The Sun is sexy, extroverted and can easily garner attention to themself(as long as they are not a victim to anxiety or truamas)

Suki Waterhouse, Uttara Asadha Moon

Another thing about Uttara Asadha Woman is that these people like to be single/not commit because the idea of them being tied to someone makes them feel uneasy(think of zoey deschanel 365 days of summer)

ERROR: Jisoo has Uttara Asadha Moon not Sun

Note: this is suppose to be a beauty profile so i am confused why i am even describing how Sun Woman are but alright 👍

#Uttara Asadha #Uttara Asadha Nakshatra #Sun #Sagittarius #Capricorn #astrology observation #vedic astrology #nakshatras #zodiac signs

225 notes · View notes

echosbento · 4 months

Text

My boyfriend and I were talking about how each of the batfam make a good allegory for different queer orientations so y'all getting the list <3

Bruce: closeted homosexuality, despite the skin tight leather I actually did wind out settling on the idea that Batman is the het masking and Bruce is the true queer self

Dick: out/open homosexuality

Cass: aromantic allosexuality or transgender

Jason: demisexuality

Tim: bisexuality

Steph: pansexuality

Damian: aromantic asexuality

Duke: heteroromantic asexuality

Note this does NOT equate to my actual headcanons for their orientations, that's in the tags, it's about the way I associate their stories with the way people see and/or experience different queer/lgbt+ orientations. Reblog with your own thoughts on how you think their stories could be allegories for diff queer identities if you want! If you're cooler than me you could put some reasonings, instead of just the horrifying realization that they might've been right when they said Batman was the hetero to Bruce's homo

74 notes · View notes

badass-queer-couples-battle · 4 months

Text

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Olivier:

She is only female general in her nation, and guards the northern border. She fights with a sword even though there are other people with guns. Olivier is unmarried despite being older (not sure how old exactly, but she is a general, and that takes time). To the best of my knowledge she shows no interest in anyone, thus making it possible to interpret her as aromantic and asexual, or as a lesbian. The bit where Mustang offers to take her on a date and she threatens to eat so much she will bankrupt him is funny.

For Luke:

Space twink with a lazer sword is more powerful than you. He will win through the power of friendship, love, and incredible violence.

#sword gays showdown #luke skywalker #star wars #olivier mira armstrong #fullmetal alchemist #fma #star wars original trilogy #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

15 notes · View notes

aceing-on-the-cake · 2 months

Text

It might be just the fact that I'm like full asexual and truly don't get why you have to sexualize people for just existing, but like I think we all need to get so much cooler with people wearing little to no clothes and do nothing with this information because clothes do not inherently preface actions.

I'm not saying I want to walk around everywhere without clothes on, I think it would be more comfortable in a lot of ways because I hate clothes so goddamn much, but that's not what I'm saying. What I am saying, is honestly whether or not I'm AFAB and live in a house with masculine people I should be good to walk around in like, boxers and that's it. Because like, I'm just existing, I have necessary things covered (my tits don't count as necessary, partly because I'm not a woman and it's not my fault that people assume so based on my chest, but also because even if I was a woman, my tits don't count as necessary), so like, I should be allowed to just exist in my home like that.

Honestly I feel like as long as I'm following certain basic health code guidelines (like wearing shoes in public because that is a basic health concern) I should also be allowed to walk around without a shirt on, as should everyone else. Health wise, my stomach isn't gonna be "contaminating" areas any more than my arms touching tables is, and again, tits are inherently neutral things no matter what form they look like or who has them.

So like, idk man, I just think we should all get more cool with people wearing whatever amount of clothing they want, whether that's covering all available skin in 90 degree weather because that makes them comfortable, or me wearing shorts and shoes in 44 degree weather because that makes me comfy

#asexual rant #asexual #actually ace #i hate clothes man

8 notes · View notes

infplease-love-me · 1 year

Text

I don't see enough asexual jokes about space/dragons/cake/etc being better/cooler than sex anymore so I'm trying to bring that back because it was fun! I don't know if it's just me but I feel a loss of ace culture in queer spaces and that makes me sad because we're queer too without having to have any other identities. If you think asexual people don't experience any kind of bigotry or hate I ask you to actually look and listen to asexual people who are experiencing it. I also want to note that I'm not aromantic so this is not me trying to leave y'all out, I just don't know the jokes or culture from your community!

#asexual #ace #aspec #a spec #aspec community #asexuality #queer #space ace

42 notes · View notes

zinkleberg · 4 months

Text

OC Interview - Vian

Ty @cybervesna for tag <3. Tagging @valeriesilverhand and @skelior

I'm pretty sure Vian would avoid any and all public appearances period but if she had to answer these questions, this is how I imagine she would.

Name?

Well, I dunno you so just call me V.

Nicknames?

Don't have any other than what I gave you, guess my brothers called me "shitling" or something but that doesn't really count.

Gender?

Female

Star sign?

Gonna be straight with you here, but I had no idea what these things even meant, had to ask my friend Misty. She said I'm a Sagittarius 'cause I was born in December. Cool I guess?

Height?

6 ft in freedom units, 183 cm in the other one.

Orientation?

What do you mean by this? I'm sitting up straight is that what you mean? Oh, sexuality. Uh, I'm asexual.

Nationality?

I was born across the Pacific in this country called China but I'm American, I don't see myself as anything else.

Favourite fruit?

I've only had real fruit like once or twice, but I think my favorite was probably grapes, dunno they're just easy to eat.

Favourite season?

I'd say summer but I live in North California... so fall probably. It's cooler at least but it's not cold. The cold sucks... I've only seen snow maybe once or something but I didn't like it.

Favourite flower?

What kinda goofy question is that? I dunno shit about biology. Uhh, red ones... just, all kinds of red ones.

Favourite scent?

Dare I say, gunpowder. Yeah, cliche but I don't care.

Coffee or tea?

I don't drink caffeine, I'm just raw dogging life out here.

Average hours of sleep?

In a row or like, overall per day? In a row probably 2. I don't sleep very well most nights. To add onto that, I don't sleep at night very often either so I wake up at like 1 in the afternoon.

Dog or cat person?

Cats. I've literally never seen a dog in NC.

Dream trip?

Literally anywhere away from NC, I hate this place. It'd be at least 10% better if people took regular showers.

Favourite fictional character?

Sarah Connor from those old Terminator films. They're almost 100 years old or something at this point but, eh, it's still cool film history.

Number of blankets you sleep with?

Uhh one? It's too friggin' hot here.

Random fact?

Glad you asked for a random one not a fun one. I got partially blown up in 2074, that was fun and it was how I ended up with this cool hand. (pic credit: chaaxfo)

I keep neglecting my tumblr sorry I plan to post my other works here as well soon lol

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 oc #oc: vian dornan #my ocs

4 notes · View notes

raemeh · 1 year

Note

heyheyhey.,.,. could I mayhaps request the "nitty grittys" for your dndads aspec headcannons ? I would LOVE to read your specific hcs for them

hell yea you can! I’d love to do that :D

First off Lincoln - Knowing me one of these was going to be me projecting on to someone and that someone is link here. Lincoln I can see being what I am and that is an asexual who experiences alterous attraction, which basically means that trusting someone emotionally is important to him and that he’d like it to happen in most of relationships. Which also makes grant lying to him and Marco even worse if you think about it. I can see link being one of those asexuals that doesn’t mind sex and would do it if his partner wanted to but doesn’t get the appeal.

Taylor - I feel like Taylor would be one of those aroace people who would date. Like he wouldn’t mind doing the romantic stuff like kissing and stuff but what he’d really want from a partner is just someone to hang out with and talk to. Basically just a friendship with a label on it.

Lark - I’ve talked about how I think he’s aromantic on other posts and how he kinda resents it because he sees people being happy when they talk about love and just wishes that was him. I believe another term for it is Cupioromantic.

Sparrow - Cloested Asexual, I’ve seen others make this claim so I know I’m not the only one. Remember that random fbi agent that discovered that he was asexual while on drugs. I would love it if that was Anthony foreshadowing that Sparrow feels similar to how the fbi agent discribed it.

Ron - He just gives me Demi-sexual vibes I don’t know why. And I don’t even thinks he knows it, he just thinks that everyone just acts like that.

Nick - I feel like people are going to come at me for saying this but graysexual. I don’t have many things to back this up but it’s similar to Ron to where for me it feels accurate.

Terry - on the one side I feel like he’d be a sex repulsed asexual. On the other side I want to say that he, like Ron is also a Demi sexual. And I feel like I have to reign in the writer side of me to say “No, you make/hc way too many Demi-sexual/romantic characters already than what would be considered possible” (No I’m not Demi-sexual so idk why I like writing about it.) But then there’s also the fact that I find it funny about the idea of Terry trying to explain to Ron that not everyone is Demi-Sexual and then when Ron asks if he feels similar, Terry is accidentally dumbfounded and Ron refuses to believe otherwise unless Terry can prove it.

Hermie - Asexual aegosexual no further questions.

Stud - I apologize I haven’t delve so much into atmod characters than the others of the series. I have listened to the entire thing I just probably need to look into the characters more so this might seem out of character. I want to say that stud is aroflux. Either that or gray-romantic. All criticism is welcome.

May Hales it feels weird to not include the last name - She just gives off the vibe that if I were to meet her in real life I would find her cool. And then I would find out she’s ace and immediately think she’s cooler. I don’t know how else to expand upon it.

Scam - I already mentioned that I think he’s Demi-romantic but i like to think that with Jodie, he started out jokingly flirty with him just to mess with him. And the more he did it the less it was a joke.

One more for ya That I didn’t include in the other one. Yeet bigly - rejected grant because he was aroace.

Again I’m more on the ace side. I’m on the aro spectrum but I don’t know where. As you’ll see the headcanon’s kinda refect that as there are more ace than aro.

25 notes · View notes

wizardysseus · 11 months

Note

your post has got me thinking, and, if you feel like sharing, what are some of your favorite asexual characters? (Intentional or not, relatable or not)

i have a tendency to assign all characters i relate to asexual. it's like, you know — highest honor i can award, moreso than bisexuality because bi is my default state for character creation or analysis, but i knew i was ace before i knew i was bi, and i don't share it as openly, so it's more personal and special. with that said.

luke skywalker, star wars — my one, my only. as much as i miss mara jade (and i DO. every DAY) (mara is also ace) there's something beautiful about luke's sexuality being open to all interpretations, such that mark hamill can like every headcanon on twitter. and this is mine. i love to assign asexuality especially to characters who immensely compassionate and full of rage.

kaladin stormblessed, stormlight archive — this is somehow not canon but he never shows any particular interest in sex, is known to miss signals, and displays at best a vague longing for relationships that has no basis in reality. the last girlfriend he had dated and dumped him entirely offscreen. and for what? him not to be canonically ace? i also love jasnah who is canonically ace, but kaladin is my fave character from the series.

jean valjean, les miserables — my blorbo in christ

caduceus clay, critical role — and this boy's canon!

keyleth, also critical role, also canon! or like, mostly canon.

reyna avila ramírez-arellano, percy jackson series — i didn't read toa so i only heard about her coming out through the grapevine, but whether it was planned or a retcon, it makes a lot of sense retroactively to me. i loved her in hoo when i first read it and again when i reread it this year. i love her sense of honor, her loneliness, her jealousy, her strong heart. it's nice to know she's out there for young readers.

hellboy, hellboy comics — hellboy has had a couple of love interests in his time (the current hellboy run is in fact called 'hellboy in love,' which i only found out about recently), but in general mike mignola is deeply uninterested in sex or romance as a writer and i love that for him. hellboy's whole thing is spooky old houses and secret societies and fighting evil and caring about people and avoiding his destinies. when would he even have time for sex? he's a giant red brick on thighs and he has a heart of gold and the fact that he's not interested just makes him cooler. i think hellboy should only ever be one girl's boyfriend, and that's me.

jonathan simms, the magnus archives — this got canonized in what to me is a very insulting but undeniable way, so net zero, but i do love him. i don't think about tma much anymore but for awhile it was a large tract of my mental real estate. pour one out. etc.

and then there's a tier of character that are like. really not ace in their source material but i decided they were ace and it makes them entirely more interesting. and those characters are diana wonder woman and matt murdock. see again: immensely compassionate and full of rage.

#there's more but i want to finish my beans on toast #ask #oughtaagh

9 notes · View notes

vibes-of-chaos · 11 months

Note

geez ya such a drama queen. being rude to staff is not gonna save your pedo ass bro!

My husband is 50, and I'm asexual. And a CSA survivor. And I don't give a fuck about the huwt feewings of corporate goons.

I'm sorry that you're a rude ass cunt who thinks it's okay to throw CSA survivors and Queer people under the bus to *checks notes* make sure people don't ship things you dislike. Much like the bitches on staff here at ShitEater.Hell, you must feel SUPER big and special about yourself, calling CSA survivors pedophiles just because you don't like them. SO brave and sexy of you. I bet you want to prove how cool and brave and Protagonist you are to aaaaall your little friends by showing them what your bitch ass sent, huh?

So let me help you, Boobs McKenzie. I'm turning off anon. Come tell me I'm a pedophile to my face. Since you're so much braver and cooler than the real people who are hurt by pedophiles, it should be easy for you!

8 notes · View notes

5weekdays · 4 months

Text

@honeybeeofficial tagged meee to share 5 songs! unfortunately i do not listen to much music. this is what my youtube history looks like:

but whatever here are some songs i found wedged in between

rapp snitch knishes (mf doom feat. mr fantastik): i always put this on when i fold laundry for some reason. it's really good. i love a good hook, and rapp snitch knishes has a phenomenal one

frontier psychiatrist (the avalanches): killer fucking song assembled from like a billion samples. and it has THE BEST music video i've ever seen. recommended to me by a much cooler friend with better taste

your woman (white town): like frontier psychiatrist, i've mentioned this song a few times on this blog. i've always liked this song but last month i just could not stop listening to it. the writer says it could be about any number of things (two examples he gives are a straight guy in love with a lesbian and a gay guy in love with a straight man), but when i listen to it, i listen to it as a grey-asexual person who has felt the same kind of orientation mismatch with allosexual partners. like, i love you, but you want something i just can't give

own it (central park cast): like rapp snitch knishes, i keep the central park season 1 & 2 soundtrack in rotation to keep chores fun. it's more dishes music than laundry music, though. "own it" is my favorite song from the entire show because i LOVE ensemble numbers, and because it's a great little piece of songwriting. five "i want" songs at once—that's efficiency

cat people (brad neely as baby cakes): underappreciated and underlong brad neely gem. in a just world, this would be three and a half minutes long

i'm not tagging anyone because i'm shy but if we're mutuals feel free to post whatever 5 songs you're dying to share ʕ•ᴥ•ʔb

6 notes · View notes

welcome-to-the-cattle-dome · 6 months

Text

mini cooli girlblogging and life updates

art school has been lovely btw :3 we had our big fall exhibition yeasterday and that shit is SO fucking cool oh my god. i love art i love art i love art i LOVE art

also erm. the autism has BREACHED CONTAINMENT!!!!! i like the asexual attorneys now :3c... i still like cats OBVI but yk. someone hast stolen the throne from the king!!!!!!!!!!!!! something i will recommend with my whole chest is talking to people u know irl about fixations like. smthn smthn less of that online echochamber of melting ideas (which isnt bad in and of itself but it has its faults) and having more time to spend doing. Other Things Irl at the Same Time..... tl;dr grass is really cool guys!!!! i prommmmy it doesnt bite

previous statement sounds a lil backhanded to the cats the musical fandom but its not meant to be LMFA)IWHRFGUAJWK............................ only a little. a pinch. but i mean like..... idk. IDK!!!! being into a bigger piece of media that you can Audibly Talk To People About is soooo different from reblogging some gifs every day.... which ISNT BAD but its DIFFERENT and i need some VARIETY in my FLAVOURS!!!!!!!

ok backhanded-more-like-fronthanded though like i dont . think ill be Active active in a fandom space ever again LMFAOOOO..... ik i was already a ghost for cats but im just gonna Lurk About for anything in the future..... love u guys but oh my god even Witnessing some Fandom Space Horrors is so exhausting AJWHAJWHRJA...... yall r kinda crazy /pos /neg /drink some water... idk if its just the size but truly like . there are so many cooler things that i like doing soz <3

i still like posting and sharing art but like . trying to Social my Media is sooo. exhausting when on a scale bigger than how far i can count on my hands

take care besties!!!!!!! hope the slay slems!!!

#try at least once on some paper+/#/- made for it #bonus maya drawing at the end :3 #rambling #oh yeah and alcohol markers. like. Nice ones? absolutely life changing i definitely can recommend as a medium.... its just so meow meow

4 notes · View notes

hermanunworthy · 6 months

Note

hello silly guy methinks that you shouldnt feel even a shred guilty about potentially having adhd or autism or neither or both or something else. being able to recognize those symptoms and how they impact your life is an important skill! like for me personally, i don't have adhd, but i heard my adhd friends talk about how playing a simple game while listening to podcasts helps them focus, and i picked up that habit. it's not appropriative or problematic or whatever the dastardly internet wants to tell you, as long as you arent speaking over people. i think a diagnosis is useful for getting treatment and/or accomodations on a systemic level, but outside of that system, you don't need to know the name of it to live with it! remember that the dsm5 still had asexuality listed as a mental illness in 2013. it's a flawed book used in a broken healthcare system. and i think you are much cooler than it :)

:[[[[[ ty anon <33

#siren says #answering asks

5 notes · View notes

decepti-thots · 2 years

Text

a really… i guess weird? i would say? a really weird response i sometimes get on meta etc that i write is this attempt to undermine observations of stuff that exists in canon on the basis 'that makes no sense for alien robots'.

there's a particular strain of discussion in parts of transformers fandom (not quite so much on tumblr, admittedly) that acts like people are idiots for 'treating alien robots like they're humans' even when every mainline TF continuity does exactly this, and does it very much on purpose. every single TF franchise humanizes cybertronians beyond surface level 'big robots COOL' stuff. it's not a bug, it's a feature. the fiction doesn't like. fail to make them Proper Aliens, it just doesn't really want to in the vast majority of circumstances.

if a story tells you up front 'this is gonna be about alien characters, but we're basically just using them as a cooler stand in for humans', as pretty much every Transformers story does, you can decide to deliberately read against that for your own enjoyment! that's a fun fandom activity! transformative work, whoo! get creative and have a good time. but many people you encounter are likely to say 'cool, got it' and engage on the terms the fiction has laid out for them. that's a reasonable expectation, i think. acting like people are somehow missing a trick if they do this just confuses me, ngl.

and i do wonder sometimes if this is related to a wider tendency in fandom to prioritise in-universe analysis that starts from a foundation of 'what if this story was real and actually happening' over everything else, as somehow 'better' or 'truer' than other ways of looking at stories? like, ok. one thing i've gotten in discussions before is people going 'why would asexually reproducing robots have siblings', and a bunch of in-universe analysis of why that Doesn't Make Sense and why no characters in IDW are 'really' related.

and it's not that they're wrong within the framework they're using there per se; no, it doesn't make sense from that perspective. no robot character in IDW is 'related' in real world human terms by the standards we generally judge it by from an in-universe perspective, not really. but in this example at no point is any attempt there made to engage with what i would personally consider a pretty obvious answer, which is 'the writer wanted to tell a story about siblings, and since the real world does have those, the audience is predisposed to accept the idea and most people will do so for the sake of enjoying the story. and if an audience accepts something within a story, that's what makes it functionally true'. and because i am someone who likes that type of story, their arguments aren't going to sway me if they start talking about the nuances of what cybertronian social structures would look like if they were real or whatever. it's just going to feel kind of irrelevant to what i'm actually talking about, which is the narrative on the page which definitely wants me to engage with the siblings it's talking about as such.

there's some sense i think that because the latter isn't about 'canon' or whatever, it somehow doesn't… count as a real explanation. but it's a totally reasonable way to think about both how people write stories, and how many people engage with them. the characters are related because the audience is reading a story that has set them up to accept said characters as such, and has an IRL frame of reference which informs their understanding of what that idea means. they are reading a story which has framed itself in such a way as to ensure its audience is likely to be on-board for that degree of suspension of disbelief, by way of genre, setting the tone, setting expectations for how cybertronians are typically depicted in relation to humans, etc.

so if you then see someone discussing two characters who are depicted as being siblings in the way real human people are and break out the 'um actually in universe that makes no sense because they're robots which obviously can't be related in that way', that's a disingenuous way to engage with the discussion someone is having. it might be a really valuable exercise to, say, deliberately read against the grain and create an alternative reading along those lines, sure! that's cool! but that isn't the same as 'disproving' the former person's engagement with the themes of the work or whatever, and acting like they are in need of correction is just ridiculous. and if they're taking a totally different approach to you in what they're engaging with in a narrative, it might just not be very productive for either of you to try and talk across each other.

so maybe don't... do that. lmao. shrug. i mean do what you want, i guess, but i dunno what people expect to get out of it. when people do this to me i'm just kind of like... bit of a conversation killer, i don't have much to say in response! eh.

#under a cut and no rb'ing bc it's kind of salty lmao #also tbh while a lot of this happens in other fandom spaces #i have gotten 'um actually'd like this a couple times on here too and do not want that rn lmaooo

36 notes · View notes

vlct0gram · 1 year

Text

Ya know, maybe I am a vampire. I just lucked out of all the side effects.

Firstly, I am pale. So pale that I can reflect light off my arms. So pale that I have anemia.

Secondly, I don't like the sun. Keep me inside where the sun can't hurt me. It's bright and hurts my eyes. Over time I've gotten used to being forced to deal with it, which is why I don't burn without long exposure. Keep me shaded and we'll be good.

Thirdly, I am drawn to gothic shit. You can't be a vampire without being a little bit goth. And I am very goth. I see goth shit and I am pulled in like a moth to a flame. Please let me sleep in a coffin in the catacombs beneath a massive castle that has a perma-storm around it with ominous music surrounding it.

Fourthly, I have an aversion to holy places and symbols. Churches? nuh-uh, not thanks. Keep them crosses and bibles away from me.

Fifthly, I have naturally sharp canines. Like, people have pointed this out to me, it's pretty prominent when I'm smiling that my teeth be pointed. So, that's clearly my fangs. Check that off the vampire bingo.

Now, we're still missing some crucial details, but this is where the luck really comes in.

Now, a smaller detail is that vampires can't have garlic, but I can and will eat it by the loaf. How does one explain that? Simple. I'm Asexual. Asexuals are commonly known as being more powerful than vampires and therefore their love of garlic nullifies the weakness vampires have of it.

And the most important thing, drinking blood. Vampires oughta drink blood, right? No. Many vampire characters feed on substitutes, firstly. And hey, just like the real world there's got to be vampires that just have issues with it. Vegetarian vampires, autistic vampires, etc. Vampires who simply don't like the taste and therefore don't drink it. But drinking blood doesn't seem necessary for all vampires to survive, depending on where you look. Still, if I were to guess a substitution for my own vampiric life, it would likely be ketchup. It's red, it's accessible, I need it to live, my parents always say I practically drink the stuff. Can't have a lot of food unless ketchup is involved or I get sick. Clearly, this is my blood substitution.

Therefore, with all these points put together, it is evident that I must be an actual real vampire. The next step is to unlock my cooler abilities, like flight.

#Vampire #Goth #asexual #Definitely A Vampire I Swear #long post #random

2 notes · View notes