#because i love a lot of the aspects of hyperfixation! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bistaxx · 7 months

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... Will you guys please let me talk about hgduo/gossipduo/mockingjays/ whatever they are called a little more pleaseeeeeeeeee, they make me unwell and I want to get my thoughts about them out of my head- or more specifically about them from Bad's point of view!

There's a familial air to it, but it's just not true to define it like that- and that doesn't make what they DO have any less powerful or significant- They have a unique bond and that continues to be true, even during painful times like this.

Cellbit WAS Bad's responsibility at one point, and that time came and went- he got him through the war and into adulthood ( aka 18 years old or close to it.) They meet again as old friends and generally respect each other as such... but even so Bad can't deny he still feels some duty to watch over the man once he starts crumbling- much like how Cellbit as well can't help but reach out to Bad during this time.

but there's limits.

like- Bad for years had and still wants to protect Cellbit, he's had an influence on him, he taught him how to survive, he himself acknowledges he has some responsibility over Cellbit, looking at Cellbit right now feels like looking in a mirror, he doesn't like having to give up on him, but if it's between him and the kids he's choosing the kids every time... and he knows there is no simple way to save someone who refuses to let themself be saved.

And it hurts! It hurts seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to let him burn! It hurts watching someone he cares for falling down the same path he is! It hurts knowing he's hurting others the way it did for him seeing Cellbit like this! It hurts having to choose his kids over his protege/ student/ former responsibility/ the kid he watched over years ago/ old friend/ his 'something'!

Like, cc!Bad brought up this internal mental tier list that q!Bad has- I still deeply believe that q!Cellbit is quite high up there even if he'll never be at the level his kids are at- like he loves Cellbit enough that he ACTUALLY CONSIDERED putting parts of his months long plan at risk to save him- even if it was just during the stress of that moment that still means a LOT from Bad- but he was always going to choose his kids in the end!

Based on what I know of q!Bad (which is admitably not a lot lol) there is next to nothing that'd convince him to give up on his kids- with Cellbit he's able to see that he can't help him because Cellbit sadly does not want to be saved- and for Bad that means he simply has to accept it even if he really doesn't like it- the emotions from that night have processed and he's looking at the situation from a more logical and resolute perspective. If it means him and Cellbit may one day clash, then with a heavy sigh so be it....

but if it was Dapper or Pomme... I just don't feel certain in saying he'd be able to come to that conclusion, especially not after one night. Even if it would be the 'smart' thing to do. It's one of the key differences between the dynamic he has with them vs Cellbit...

But, in a perfect situation, he would've done everything to save them both.

Anyway thanks for reading, posting this at hell hours so my beloved mutuals won't see my hgduo ramblings but tagging this anyway for other people to see LMAO-

#mockingjays #hgduo #gossipduo #qsmp #badboyhalo #cellbit #God it's honestly a major problem how in love with this dynamic I am because I rly don't feel like I know shit about Bad or Cellbit LOL #like I enjoy both of their characters a lot but I feel so uncertain about actually ever talking about them- I enjoy them a LOT #but I don't think I have the best grasp on them as characters compared to others- wish I did though!#esp. Cellbit despite having been in love with his character since he joined- hence why I talk more about Bad's point of view LOL #wish I knew more Portuguese so I could 'get' q!Cellbit more I love him </3 #I always feel scared talking about them because their other fans just get them way better then I do- I'm just hyperfixing over one aspect!#one last comment I do generally feel like they have a similar view of one another of like-but recently I feel like Cellbit wants to view Ba #as something closer to a parental figure- consciously or not- but he still doesn't see him as family- at least not in his past #They were two dudes doing whatever it took to survive- but still he was a child and Bad was the adult he looked up to!#longpost

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andromedasummer · 1 year

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honestly the biggest thing for me in this hamilton (the musical) v hamilton (the person) stuff is just the fact that there is still a hamilton (the musical) fanbase in 2023. that is honest to god mindblowing to me. i thought we'd left the slave owner musical in the past.

#i will note the person complaining about the shared tag is on the spectrum and that musical seems to be a special interest #so i guess. being that passionate makes sense.#also they seem to straight up hate hamilton and like that one red bull driver which.#is surprising to me as another autistic person #who knows that guy dropped ableist +racist slurs in a professional setting twice (2017 then 2020)#and also got to hear firsthand while watching him stream the casual use of one of those slurs.#but i also understand that a LOT of autistic people have difficulty simply dropping special interests or hyperfixations when morally #dubious stuff comes out about them #like hp/the musical i mentioned before etc #at the same time i feel that at times thats also used an excuse to justify continuing liking things/people who #act in harmful ways. because very many autistic people (myself included) can disconnect (its not easy but its doable) when it comes #to harmful special interests. and its use as an excuse generalizes autistic people as a whole as being unable to apply #critical thought to the media we consume which (while true in specific cases for people with specific autistic traits)#makes me uncomfortable. especially when its an issue of the media being racist or antisemetic #a LOT of white autistic and/or queer people try to use those aspects of their identity as an excuse when continuing to follow/support #media or people that portray racist things/behave in a racist manner #which furthet ostracizes the non-white queer and/or autistic people who the petson/media harms #anyway long rant in the tags which is super off topic all this to say i find this situation very very funny #but hope things dont get out of hand and people dont behave shittily to op because god knows #as much as i like lewis hamilton and have many many friends who love and support lewis #the fanbase can fire up needlessly at times and target people with abuse that is ideologically opposite #to a lot of the inclusivity it purports

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valley-of-headcanons · 9 days

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I just stumbled across your blog and I really love your headcanons! If you had the time, I was wondering if you could do the bachelors reacting to a mute farmer?

bachelors with a mute!farmer || headcanons

being mute isn't as hard when you have these considerate men around <3

warning: this is under the assumption that the reader cannot speak at all! all include sign language as a form of communication :) other warnings are that certain townies are VERY SLIGHTLY ableist (jodi, george). take this whole story with a grain of salt, as i am not mute! i tried my hardest, however, please let me know if something is wrong/offensive/just straight up stupid! i'd love to learn where i went wrong :)

requested by: anon, thank you so much for requesting! and i deeply apologize for the fact that this took around a year to come out ... oopsie daisy ... my stardew valley hyperfixation went bye bye but guess who's backkkk?? anyway! here you go, better late than never :)

alex

• Alex honestly had no idea what to do when he realized that you were mute. He had no idea what to do, and you saw it on his face. He wanted to interact with you, you looked pretty interesting, but ... he had no idea where to start. So, you offered to teach him sign. He was surprised to see that you had that much faith in him, and he rejected initially, but ... he really wanted to have a new friend. It seemed like you were a genuine person, and he needed that in his life. So he did.

• You taught him sign, and this was probably one of the hardest things he's done. He believes he's not very bright, so he's incredibly nervous. But he works so hard for you! He didn't really know why he did, as you were just a new neighbor. Maybe you could be more? You could be a true friend! That's what he's looking forward to the most.

• As he began getting fluent and he learned more about you, the more he enjoyed being around you. Someone actively took a chance on him, and he's forever grateful. He opened up a lot to you, and you reassured him through all of it. He was the smartest person you knew because of how well he picked up sign ... he cried a little bit, although he really doesn't want to admit that.

• He realized how close you've gotten, and how his feelings haven't stopped growing for you. So, he had to do something about it! A soft, well-candlelit dinner was prepared for you, and he asked you out fully through sign! He had worked so hard on preparing a fully thought-out speech through sign for you ... it was so incredibly sweet. He really does love you.

• Alex was incredibly defensive of you, and would probably fight anyone who tried him. He even had several arguments with George. He wasn't the most supportive and definitely had some comments, especially since he literally couldn't see the sign ... but through Alex, he was convinced. Everything was fine, especially with Alex doing his best to convince those around him.

• Overall, Alex loves you and it shows. It shows through every piece of sign that he learns, every action that he does for you, and everything that he says to you and others. He adores every aspect of you, and he loves your bravery and your amazing soul. He can't get enough of you.

elliot

• Elliot is definitely a romantic, and when you didn't respond to his minor flirting, he was very confused. But when he realized you were mute, he dramatically gasped and apologized, basically dropping to his knees. He felt horrible, and promised to make it up to you.

• For a while, you talked back and forth through letters, since he was often stuck at home writing. He finds that he can write a lot more through his letters to you than he can his own book. Isn't that strange? He brings it up to you in one of his letters, and he eventually invites you over to his cabin. He bounces ideas for his book off of you, and strangely, it's so much easier to communicate with you ... how strange.

• He ends up learning sign for you in his free time, although it takes a while due to his busy schedule. He still prefers to write letters to you, it seems much more personal and definitely more romantic. He eloquently writes about his life and inquires you about yours.

• Elliot realizes that maybe this situation isn't just romantic to be romantic ... maybe there were feelings underneath, feelings that Elliot had never truly felt before. He ended up writing poetry about you, pages and pages. He can't get you out of his head! He had to let you know. You found out through a book of poetry sitting in your mailbox, and after reading through it, it was undeniable that it was about you. He was infatuated ... and so were you.

• He's incredibly protective of you, making sure to keep you out of harm's way as much as possible. If anyone were to say so much as one hateful word to you, he'd make a scene. With his dramatic flare, he'd declare them an imbecile and swoop you away to a safe place. It's in his nature, did you think anything less?

• Elliot'e romantic side has never been greater than with you. Romance and genuine feelings have always been apart in his mind, but they've both culminated in a beautiful love with you. He doesn't mind your muteness, he finds it beautiful and inspiring. You're his muse, of course.

harvey

• Harvey is incredibly understanding, and he tried his best to understand you as much as possible! He has no problem learning how to communicate with you and how to help you out as much as possible! He's the most understanding of your condition, and asks many questions about how and why you're this way. Not in a hateful way or anything, he just wants to understand you fully!

• As your doctor, he's definitely concerned for your health at first, but his nerves are calmed eventually. He slowly works toward getting to know you despite your condition, and he loosens up a little bit. He's so sweet and kind toward you, and he can't believe he's befriended someone as lovely as you.

• He opens up about his color blindness soon enough, and how debilitating it can seem. You bond over that, and he finds it easy to open up to you. He's used to being the listener, it's literally his profession, but it's nice to be listened to for once.

• Harvey realized this was a lot more than just a friendship, due to his heart racing when he's around you ... wow. He didn't expect this, and he really doesn't know how to act on it. But as you two hang out on the pier of the beach one night, he can't help but admire you instead of the stars. You notice, and he can't hide it anymore. He asks so nervously if you feel the same way he does. You answer with a gentle kiss on his cheek. He melts.

• He is very defensive of your condition, if someone says anything slightly derogatory, he will go off on a medical tangent. He justifies everything with an array of medical terms, enough to put anyone at a loss for words. Once Harvey silences the other person, he apologizes heavily, but still defends his love.

• Harvey loves you, and it shows through his concern for you and his deep affection for you. You're such an amazing and brave person, and he admires every bit of it. He admires you more than anything, and he would reshape the world if it meant to keep you safe.

sam

• Sam, despite his loud and energized nature, doesn't mind the fact that you're mute! He finds interacting with you regulating, in some kind of way. He has to calm down a bit to concentrate on communicating effectively with you. He enjoys talking to someone who has such a different viewpoint on life!

• Sam actually knew sign language before he met you! While in the war, Kent had sent a letter home that he had gone have deaf due to the constant noise of the war. Jodi then forced her family to learn sign language as soon as possible, so communicating with him was incredibly easy!

• Being able to actually use his sign language is actually pretty fun! He's very fluent, and he enjoys seeing your personality through your sign. He also enjoys your personality in general, how you overcome not speaking and your bravery. He finds that you both enjoy music, and it's a major bonding point between the two of you.

• Showing each other different songs that you enjoy was a staple of your hangout sessions. He finds those evenings the ones that he looks forward to the most, watching you smile and bop your head to the music. It's soft, it's sweet, it's ... lovely. As his feelings approach him, he can't get you out of his head ... his writer's block comes to an end. Eventually, he ends up playing a song for you. The love that he has for you is evident through the lyrics. And then ... a soft kiss as the song goes on, you would probably scream in joy if you could.

• His mom is ... not the most fond of you being mute. He doesn't really care, as he mostly just ignores her. He loves her but good god, her views ... so, he chooses your friendship more than anything. And when you two travel to something more, he chooses that over the relationship with his mother. She has a few passive aggressive comments, but she eventually gets over it enough to only give you a few side-eyes.

• Despite every hardship, Sam loves you. Every aspect of you is perfect in his eyes, and he wouldn't change anything about you. Sam adores your wonderful personality, despite not ever really hearing a voice behind your wonderful words. He doesn't care, you're you, and that's what matters.

sebastian

• Sebastian is the most quiet of all of the bachelors, so it makes sense that he would be naturally drawn to someone with a similar vibe. He doesn't mind the fact that you don't speak, and he finds ways to adjust.

• At first, he doesn't put too much effort into learning sign language to communicate. He doesn't see the reason why, you're just another person in town. But after Sam started speaking to you through sign language and you crossed paths more ... he decided to, why not?

• After talking to you, he realized that you have a lot in common. This makes him excited to finally have someone to relate to, and more and more, he asks you to hang out. Most of the time you end up doing things together in silence, but when you do talk, it's deep and personal.

• Falling for you was not his intention and came out of absolutely no where. He thought he was destined to spend the rest of his life shrouded in darkness, but this one quiet beam of light pulled him out of that. Huh. How odd. It took a lot of mutual pining for this to come to the surface, however. You called out that he accidentally used the sign for “I love you” when saying goodbye ... his pale face went bright red. Safe to say, you didn't say goodbye that evening. A long talk and a kiss goodnight, you two ended up together. As you should be.

• He doesn't really give the time of day to the people who don't understand you. A deep side eye and an aggressive sigh usually escape him, but he tells you not to worry about it. He shows you that he loves you no matter what, and “people fucking suck.”

• Sebastian relates heavily to you, and really loves you. He can't believe he's found someone who relates to him so well, but also has such a kind and genuine soul. He loves you more than life itself and enjoys your company more than anything on this planet.

shane

• Shane is probably the most guarded person in Stardew Valley, and it shows when he meets you. He could care less about you at first, pretty much ignoring your every movement. He doesn't really care that you're mute, he just doesn't care about you period. He's not really there yet, mentally.

• However, things change when you offer him a beer. He's confused by your kindness, and you can't really explain yourself because he doesn't understand sign. His curiosity is piqued. So, he asks Marnie if she knows any sign, and she refers him to Jodi, who eventually refers him to Sam. He hates the idea of having to work with Sam, but he can't help himself. He was too curious.

• After picking up a bit, he ends up offering you a beer in solidarity. He then thinks for a moment before showing the sign for beer. Your excitement warms his rather cold heart ... that's new. He just communicates by speaking, but he can read sign, so that seems like enough in his eyes.

• He finds it easy to talk to you, as you're such an interesting and perseverant person. It inspires him to begin working on himself. He pushes himself to work hard ... for you. Huh. Then, as if the sky was falling around him, he realized he was falling for you. He began pushing you away, until you basically cornered him at the bar. You took him to a private room where he rambled on about how perfect you were and how he was just going to ruin you. You eventually just signed “love ?” He looked like a scared child and just nodded. He signed “I love you” with shaking hands. But of course, so did you.

• His assholery is on full display when someone tries to come at you. He doesn't do it as eloquently or kind as some others, he just curses and insults until they shut their trap. They have no room to talk in his eyes.

• Despite his cold nature, Shane really does love you. He has no problems with your nature and sees it as a contrast to his own nature. He finds that enamoring and beautiful, unlike himself. He's working on himself, for you.

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ethereallyrigid · 2 years

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Random Astro Notes/ Observations

(Half of it is about Leo placements lol)

Trigger Warning: ⚠️Mention of Abuse⚠️

Let’s get into it !💃🕺

👄Gemini risings stutter a lot this also goes for if you have are a Gemini rising in your solar return chart that year. Very cerebral mind goes faster than the mouth since it’s the first house which rules the face

🫦Jupiter square Mercury synastry could mean you both speak different languages

💍 What is up with Gemini sun males getting married hella early like in the their early 20s?

🔮Neptune trine Jupiter:

Gaining knowledge and wisdom naturally through spirituality and psychic abilities

💅 Libra placements like Chanel

🥷 Leo sun either have amazing reflexes or they’re just straight clumsy that goes for other Leo placements as well

🛬 Leos+ virgo and Gemini placements like to plan trips instead of taking spontaneous trips it makes them feel more secure and less prone to overthinking

🛫 While Sagittarius + Capricorn placements like spontaneous trips instead of super planned out trips

🧁 Leo +Virgo placements usually love baking and are more often than not very good at it, they can find it therapeutic and healing

🥘 On the other hand they struggle with cooking meals they find it tedious

🧑‍🍳 Unless they have more Virgo then they are great cooks who view it more as an obligation

🤷‍♀️ If you are close to a Leo and they’re comfortable with you, your butt isn’t safe, they will smack it I’m js

🕺 Scorpio mars are amazing dancers

🦁 Everyone wants to be so quick to call Leo’s attention whores but can we talk about how they are genuinely THE hype men of the zodiac and it’s usually sincere

😎Leos are so chill even when they are hyper they have this underlying chill vibe

❔Mercury in 12th house synastry and you both literally physically not being able to hear what the other is saying sometimes

🙄❤️Venus in the 12th house are tsuderes

😻 Lilith in the 10th house synastry: the Lilith person may view the 10th house person as a star that has potential to be famous or well known

🧅 Leo’s love onions and garlic

🎶 Virgos and making up their own lyrics to songs especially Christmas songs

🥨 Leo’s and gluten free pretzels don’t ask me idk

🦹‍♀️🦹 Cancer and Taurus are two peas in a pod whether that’s a good or bad thing is up to the pair 👀(spoilers they’re usually menaces together)

👩‍👧Cancer sun women usually don’t have their father in the picture, are raised by a male other than their father or straight up don’t know who their dad is. Usually their mothers had to also be their fathers.

👙Lilith aspects especially when on the ascendant have wardrobe malfunctions like a bra slip etc all the time Oop-

🔲Aquarius Venus+Mars like using the black and white filter on their photos and posts on Instagram

🧍‍♀️Cancer north nodes may have childhood trauma that causes them to have to feel needed in order for their existence to be validated

🤥 Underdeveloped Capricorn placements hyperfixate on external pressure, they don’t like to disappoint people because they’ve been disappointed in the past but they do this to their detriment and burn themselves out. This could affect their reputation. And push them to lie and deceive those around them to keep up a facade

🤨 What is up with Libras falling for cancer placements like ummm

😔 What is it with Sagittarius sun females and their father trying to starve and/or kill them?

💕I am currently offering

paid readings!💕

🔮Tips are much appreciated!🔮

💕I love you all and I hope you have a great day! 💕

🧿

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tobiasdrake · 5 days

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What do you think of Gohan and Piccolo?

There is a fandom war over whether Goku or Piccolo is Gohan's "real dad" and the honest truth is that Gohan's upbringing is very much "It takes a village to raise a child". He is the product of Chi-Chi, Goku, Piccolo, and to a lesser extent Krillin's influences.

But. Also. Though Piccolo and Gohan develop a strong emotional bond, it warrants noting that Piccolo's initial contribution to Gohan's upbringing is pretty monstrous, as befits the reincarnation of pure evil.

There's a tendency to be more critical of Goku's choices than Piccolo's because Piccolo was a bad guy and Goku was a good one. Generally speaking, we tend to give characters a pass for behavior that's... within their narrative wheelhouse, if that makes sense.

When good guys are being good and bad guys are being bad, we consider that business as usual. That's just what they're supposed to do. If Vegeta kills a bunch of people, nobody cares because Vegeta is a bad guy. Bad guys kill people. This is not a worthwhile observation on his character.

So there's a tendency in fandom to hyperfixate only on the good parts of bad guys, and on the bad parts of good guys - and to ignore the rest. Those are the only parts that we consider noteworthy, because they're the areas where the character is going against their mold. It's important, I think, not to do this with Piccolo when talking about Gohan, because while we all love seeing Gohan's innocence reach Piccolo and redeem him, the darker aspect of his earlier choices inform his later growth and development.

We need to learn how to consider the villainous part of villains and the heroic side of heroes in equal measure to the villain's redeeming qualities and the hero's flaws.

By the time of the fight with Raditz, Piccolo is less evil than his previous iteration. According to Gohan, that's Goku's assessment of him. Implied to be Goku's assessment of the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai, as that's the only time the two have met since Piccolo's reincarnation, prior to Raditz's arrival.

This is a fair assessment. I've talked about it before, but reincarnating as a flesh-and-blood Namekian with a complete range of morality rather than simply being the embodiment of one guy's evilness had an effect on Piccolo.

Piccolo opposes the Saiyans because he wants to rule the world and doesn't want them killing everyone he means to govern. But Daimao's plan for world domination was just to inflict a 40-year extermination on humanity. Piccolo's original incarnation was just evil, incapable of really thinking about his own ideas and why he wants them the way the newer form of Piccolo has.

Daimao would never have teamed up with Goku to save "his subjects" from extermination. He wanted to kill them all too. This capacity for growth and change was already in motion, already forcing him to reconsider what he actually wants from his own ambitions, from the moment he awoke in his new body.

But he was still a bastard. He'd been Evil Incarnate for 300 years; You don't get over that in an afternoon. He still had all of his memories,a ll of his knowledge; There was a lot of wickedness baked into his personality from the get-go.

Since he was no longer Mazoku, he had a brand new range of moral depth to engage with. But he didn't have the luxury of getting to start over as a brand new person. No clean slate for Piccolo. Now that he was capable of change, he still needed a reason and a will to experience it. Circumstances that would force him to re-evaluate his relationship with himself, others, and the world.

The threat of the Saiyans provided that impetus, by giving Piccolo a plan. A nasty plan. A plan based on strict utilitarian assessment of Gohan's involvement in the preceding fight, with no regard to the fact that this is a four-year-old child.

Piccolo, in this moment, sees Gohan as a resource to be used. He has zero empathy for him or for anyone else.

Of course he doesn't. He was the embodiment of selfishness and cruelty for 300 years. He has a capacity for empathy now but has never been put in a position where it might begin to develop. As he says to Gohan in his dying moments:

"You were the only one who ever really talked to me."

Like. Let's not sympathize too much here; this is more on him than anyone else. He tried to reconquer the world and tried multiple times to kill Goku, the only person he has any sort of relationship with. Even the attack he used to kill Raditz was designed for killing Goku.

The reason nobody ever "really talked to [him]" before Gohan is because Piccolo's only interactions with other people were verbal and physical violence. This is what I was getting at earlier. The guy, at this point in time, is a villain existing in uneasy alliance with the heroes. Let's not forget that. In fact, even his relationship with Gohan is verbally and physically violent.

That sweet scene up there where Gohan confronts Piccolo with the fact that he's not such a bad guy? This is how that scene ends.

This is what we tend to give Piccolo a pass on because we expect this behavior from villains, but it needs to be said that Piccolo's approach to Gohan's training is cruel and abusive. The development of their bond has more to do with Gohan's purehearted innocence than with Piccolo's changing outlook.

That's not a slight against Piccolo. It's the setup. This cruelty is what makes it so meaningful when he does change. It's why this moment is so powerful.

The reason this is such a moment that Toei can't stop trying to remake it is because it comes on the heels of all of that cruelty and dismissal. That he would even do this is as much a surprise to Piccolo as it is to everyone else. It violently contradicts and recontextualizes everything he and Gohan have been through for the last year.

Gohan's innocence won out and it changed Piccolo in ways he didn't even realize were happening. When Piccolo says that no one ever really talked to him before, this isn't an indictment against the world for mistreating him. Piccolo is not the Warriors of Hope from Danganronpa. It's validating Gohan for having the courage and empathy to reach him despite it all.

Gohan's training was an idea born of cruel arithmetic. Gohan himself gained some rudimentary martial knowledge but didn't get much else out of it - because Piccolo himself was unsuited to the emotional guidance that Gohan needed. When the Saiyans arrived, he was woefully unprepared for the task that Piccolo expected of him.

What did you expect? It doesn't matter that you taught him how to throw a punch; That boy is five years old. Piccolo pays for this mistake with his life.

But what he does get out of it, what he and Gohan both get out of it, is the development of an emotional bond that will last the rest of their lives - with his dying moment, his sacrifice for Gohan, being what truly kicks off their relationship.

That sacrifice is the reason Gohan goes to Namek.

Gohan, innocent and kind, doesn't resent Piccolo for the things he did. Quite the contrary, he respects Piccolo a lot. By his own admission, he has the same admiration for Piccolo that he does for Goku.

Gohan and Piccolo's bond is now pretty tight, and it remains so through the Namek and Android arcs.

Piccolo grows from his mistake, lets his ambitions for world domination slide away, and he and Gohan now have each other's backs in earnest. The respect and empathy Gohan needed is now there.

It's from that experience (and the wisdom of God now joined into him) that Piccolo's later able to call out Goku for his mistake in the Cell Games.

Piccolo sees the flaw in Goku's plan because he's been Goku. He's stood where Goku's standing, waiting with baited breath for a warrior's hunger to suddenly awaken inside Gohan and for him to fuck this guy up. He had to learn the hard way that that's not who Gohan is, and he brings that development to the table here. He's projected onto Gohan the way Goku now is, and it cost him his life.

Neither Goku nor Piccolo is entirely right here. But neither is entirely wrong either. Goku's plan does ultimately work, but only because of the effort Cell and 16 put into correcting Goku's bad assumptions and finding a trigger that will set Gohan off.

This, I think, is what gets lost in the "Real Dad Goku vs Real Dad Piccolo" debate. It's too binary. Gohan cares a great deal about both of them, they're both prominent influences on him, and they both had a formative effect on his childhood. If you asked him to pick one, he'd probably look at you like you're crazy. The correct answer is:

That panel, that entire panel, is who Gohan's primary male role model is.

Though if you want to know whose kid Gohan really is more than anyone's, it's her:

No matter how distasteful Vegeta might find it, Gohan is his mother's son. He's sensitive, kind, curious, and far more interested in academia than in martial arts; All the qualities Chi-Chi wanted to instill in him. But he nonetheless has a lot of admiration for Goku and Piccolo too, and he carries their influence with him all the same.

(Also, as an aside. Like. Krillin? Kindly fuck off. Gohan may not be as badly hurt as Goku but he was still beaten half to death by both Nappa and Vegeta over the course of this battle. He couldn't even stand up under his own power anymore before he became the Oozaru. Also, he's five and Chi-Chi hasn't seen him, her baby boy, in a year.

It is absolutely valid for her to be way more concerned for Gohan than for Goku.)

But I digress. Point is, Piccolo and Gohan got off to a rocky start and I think that Piccolo's behavior during that time shouldn't be ignored, but also he changed dramatically due to Gohan's influence. Piccolo shaped much of who Gohan was as a fighter in his early years, but Gohan did far more for Piccolo by making him part of a family despite himself.

Now he's in Gohan's wedding photo.

And Chi-Chi isn't for reasons that can only be attributed to Toei's utter disdain for her character.

And he's teaching martial arts to Gohan's kid, with a much gentler hand than the one he once used on Gohan.

There's a real argument to be made that Gohan did more to shape who Piccolo became in the years following their training together than Piccolo did to shape Gohan. Sometimes the master learns as much or even more from the apprentice than the apprentice does from the master.

#dragon ball #dragon ball z #son gohan #piccolo

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crystallizsch · 3 months

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Random Thought, please humor me.

SURPRISE: YUUSHA GAINS MAGIC (By absorbing the Magic around her & dealing with Overblots)! Even better, she doesn't need a Mage Stone to control it! What would Yuusha's Unique Magic be & how does she use it? How would Jamil react?

"Magic makes people feel too powerful. Too entitled."

"That is not what magic does. That's just your fear. Fear is what can't be trusted."

HELPPP anon your random thought sent me down into a rabbit hole and i was hyperfixated on this for at least a WEEK 😭

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK BTW I REALLY APPRECIATE IT I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS 💕💕💕

anyways i also had an agonizing realization that yuusha is somewhat twisted elsa/anna because she has:

braid in front ✅

light-colored hair streak ✅

love interest that used her for his schemes ✅

desire to connect with people bc of years of loneliness (and emotional instability) ✅

unresolved childhood trauma in general ✅

(and probably more idk, these are the ones that stand out to me at the moment)

i haven't thought about frozen for YEARS and somehow it's still haunting me.

i have a lot of mixed feelings about this realization in general but the reason i brought this up is because i ended up basing yuusha's unique magic on frozen (not the ice powers part, but more the emotions aspect since elsa's powers work based on her emotions) while also still having aspects of yuu's own personality on it.

(also I'm sorry in advance i keep on dropping random lore about yuu and jamil's dynamic that only makes sense to myself hndsfhdsj)

I'm your friend. You don't have to hide. SHOW YOURSELF.

"Show Yourself" forces the target to say what's actually on their mind as long as she touches them. Since she's not particularly powerful and skilled with her own unique magic in the beginning, it's limited to skin-to-skin contact, and it only lasts for as long as she's touching her target.

If Yuu trained it more, it doesn't have to be skin-to-skin, just as long as she makes some kind of physical contact with her target; and it could last for as long as she wants even if she is no longer making physical contact. (But the longer she keeps it up, the more blot accumulates.) Yuusha would mostly just use her unique magic to mess with people. It'll only be rare that she chooses to use it for something serious.

To add more onto how Jamil would react to these magic shenanigans: They've both agreed on not using their unique magic on each other. To do so would be a breach of trust. (Of course there would be special exceptions but generally that's their agreement.) And since Jamil is still a scheming prick (affectionate), her "Show Yourself" unique magic would be useful. Plus, Yuu would not be against using her unique magic 99% of the time since she is also aware of the usefulness of her ability. Jamil would insist on helping Yuu out on how to use her magic because there was no way she'd get the hang of it immediately. And he knows she would refuse to ask any other (capable) magician for help.

An alternate idea that I scrapped was "Let It Go" where it's essentially Yuu telling her target to let go of their (usually negative) emotions. But those feelings can't just disappear so Yuu basically absorbs them so now it's her burden to carry instead. I scrapped it because I can't settle on how it works. (But it still had angst potential so I couldn't help but draw a bit about it anyway.)

(extra rambling below about yuusha overblot thoughts if anyone's interested hdlfhjgj)

this is a brief tangent from the original question because i also thought, "hey what if she overblotted, wouldn't that be fun"

i could see the overblot going in either two ways:

yuu accidentally hurts grim (or another friend) with her magic. she’s so distraught thinking that even with magic she can't protect those who are dear to her. and so during the overblot she will not actively try to hurt anyone but instead exhausting her magic reserves in an intentional attempt at self-destruction. (yes i also see the frozen parallels shhhh)

something happens that was simply THE LAST STRAW. now she’s too pissed at everyone that she no longer cares about what happens to her or anyone else, going on a destructive rampage. which can also be considered an intentional attempt at self-destruction.

either way, basically, if she can’t go home she’s just going to take herself out and/or the school instead. the girl is not okay.

(there's actually nothing good she can home to, but she's convinced she'll be happy again if she returns. but she doesn't know that because she can't remember shit about her home. that's a separate lore dump post hgdsjfkld)

also the blot monster behind her would look something like marshmallow (elsa's snow monster from frozen) :)

(i also used to have a similar idea for yuusha. i planned to have her be immune to magic *because* she was absorbing it and she didn't realize. leading to an inevitable overblot) (but i scrapped it because yuusha became my victim for jamil x yuu stuff) (like if i can't have the excuse to have jamil use snake whisper on yuu then what is the point)

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alpaca-clouds · 6 months

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Dungeons & Dragons - Or: Why Capitalism Sucks at Making Money

If this past year managed anything, it managed to get me really into DnD. Before I did not play DnD much, rather going with Shadowrun or (heavily homebrewed) World of Darkness. But with first Honor Among Thieves releasing - and then Baldur's Gate 3 giving me brainworms tadpoles... Yeah, hurray. New hyperfixation unlocked.

But as I started to read through all the lore, but also meta stuff happening around it. And yes, I quickly understood why basically everyone was frustrated with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. But I also think, that this betrays one of the big issues with capitalist logic and how it often fails to reach an audience - for the reason I outlined before: capitalists are actually super bad at realizing what works and why, because they only judge based on spread sheets.

And yes, the headline is hyperbolic. But let me explain.

A Community-Based Game

I mean, the biggest scandal of DnD this year was probably the entire thing about the community license. And this is very much something that shows quite well, how bad WotC is at recognizing why DnD works and has worked so long.

DnD centrally has been build around this idea of community. Now, mind you: This community was very, very focused on cis white guys for the longest time, but everybody else just managed to get in there and make their own little bit of community. Which also lead to a lot of homebrew stuff, that at times tackled some issues that the rules themselves did not address at all or not well. The combat wheelchair is probably the best known example of this.

But even outside of marginalized communities... DnD always thrived through the community aspect itself. People self-publishing magazines and adventures for it since the fucking 70s. As well as play sets, dice and what-have-you. DnD was always very much about all this and thrived through it. And now in came WotC saying: "Oh, yeah, actually you will now have to give us a big cut. (The big irony was, how Unity made the same move later on.) The fandom outcry was obviously big, there was a boycot, it worked. And WotC went all:

Of course they basically won the world competition in backpaddling (though again, Unity was a big contender this year as well) and quickly went back on this. But of course there is a problem: When your entire product is so much build around community and your community starts mistrusting you, you got a problem.

And this is basically what happened.

The Audience Problem

There is another problem of course. Financially the DnD movie failed - and I actually think this says a lot about how WotC kinda misunderstands the audience.

Now, there will be people trying to tell you, that given that the movie had great reviews and stuff. But the movie had a production budget of 150 million USD and only earned a bit more than 200 million on worldwide box office. Given that the marketing budget was likely around 30 million, the movie barely broke even.

Of course, part of the reason for it was that it just had a bad release date. It released parallel to the Super Mario movie, which ended up being one of the most successful movies of this year.

A friend of mine could not believe that the movie had financially flopped. They were like: "What the hell? Literally everyone I know who watched the movie went to cinema like three times to see it again." But... Yeah, that is true. But the issue is that these people are a very certain group.

Because lets make one thing clear: The people, who adored the movie so much, that they went to the cinema several times and bought the DVD/BluRay on release... were mostly queer nerds. Because this is the group of people who this movie spoke to.

And let's make this clear: I love the movie for this. I love that it so clearly went for this audience. Because I am part of this audience - and I adore this film.

But basically the movie has a general issue in terms of audience. Because on one hand the movie is too nerdy to have a wider audience appeal of people who had never played DnD, while on the other hand the movie was kinda not nerdy enough to go full force for the nerd audience.

A lot of people in the fandom have instantly sussed out one thing about the movie: "Why doesn't Edgin cast any spells? And why do we see so little of the weirder species?" And part of the reason undoubtedly was budget related. But the other reason is that... well, it is currently a well accepted wisdom in media production that you cannot sell a high-magic story. At least not outside of animated media.

Hence... There is surprisingly little magic being cast in this. And we also do have a mostly human main cast - or why Doric is the most classically pretty tiefling you have seen with her human skin tone and all of that. Because media productions do not trust the audience to accept high magic concepts.

Who is DnD actually for?

Okay, let me talk a bit about DnD 5e - and a good decision, and a bad decision. And how that affected DnD.

Everyone, who is somewhat into DnD probably knows that 5e massively changed the game. With one simple goal: Make it more accessible. Which manifested in several ways.

For one, the game was in some ways made less offensive. Because prior to 5e there was a ton of racism, sexism, queerphobia and ableism inherent to the game rules and times to the game lore. This is just a fact. Things like species that are inherently evil and stuff like that - and also some of the real-life racial coding inherent to some of the species. Removing all that stuff is a good thing. Like amazingly good.

And also, they made the rules a lot more accessible. Before the rules were bogged down with a lot of stuff, that was simplified or removed. Again, this is a good thing.

And this worked. It worked really well. Of course, this was also partly due to stuff like Critical Role and other actual plays like that happening and promoting the game. The player base probably increased ten-fold from what it was before.

Yes, it should also be noted that there is probably a good topic for a study on how formerly nerd-thingies became more and more mainstream during the last 10 years or so, but yes, DnD was one of those things.

But in this there was also a rather bad decision made, which ironically also mirrors what happened with Marvel. And this decision is: Because we want to reach a wider audience, every single thing we release for this has to reach the widest audience possible - rather than allowing that certain things might have a more specific audience.

I am sorry to talk about the MCU here, but it is just such a perfect example of this: The MCU basically made two mistakes. Overwhelming their audience with too many releases. But also not allowing the movies to be for a certain audience, but for the broadest audience possible. A good example is how they dealt with the minority-lead movies. They got directors and at times even writers from that minority - but then basically did not allow them to be too specific and be too critical of, for example, a racist system because that might not go over too well with white mainstream audiences.

Now, WotC did not really do anything like that. But they also went with this idea that everything they officially released should have the broadest possible appeal. Hence the weirdly low-magic approach to the movie, of which I assume that it definitely was an executive decision made.

The fact that the movie resonated so much with the queers more than anyone else was also not intended - at least not from the production company. Like, let's be honest. No, Xenk and Ed were not supposed to be read as romantic. And how appealing the found family trope was, probably was not intented at least on the side of Hasbro (not sure about screenwriters and director).

The Lore Problem

This perfectly connects to one of the big issues that all the franchises going for a broad appeal after being very nerd-focused for so long, run into: The Lore Problem. And this is quite ironic, because I ran into the problem earlier this year as well.

See, as I was writing fanfics for DnD:HAT I quickly ran into the problem that I knew next to nothing about the world of Faerûn. Sure, once upon a time (like between 2007 and 2011, while I was living in Austria with my then-boyfriend, who really was into those games) I played the old games of Neverwinter Nights and Baldur's Gate 1 + 2. But let's be frank: I barely remember shit from those games. And getting to understand what actually happened in the lore between and after... Well, there is just a ton of lore. I mean, people are playing around with this world for literal decades. So, yeah. This can very much be overwhelming for someone getting into it anew. Like, where can someone new even start?

The fact that - at least partly for legal reasons - most of the Actual Plays also do not work with the official lore, rather just using the rules to create their own worlds, obviously adds to this. Even the tables I played on so far always preferred original worlds, because the lore of DnD is just very intimidating.

The one thing that actuall ended up getting me into the lore was BG3, because it left open just the right questions to go into the Forgotten Realms wiki and just look for stuff, before also starting to listen to lore podcasts.

But here is the thing: WotC is also not helping with this issue. Like, they absolutel could create a proper accessible compendium on DnDBeyond that would just allow people to get an overview of the world and the timeline of things happening, maybe go into some of the major factions of the world and such. I mean, heck, they really, really want you to use DnD-Beyond rather than roll20. Yet, in DnD-Beyond I do not even have a monster compendium without paying, which roll20 offers.

Like, sure, WotC, it is okay to lock up the adventure modules behind a paywall, no problem. But if you do give me even the most basic tools to run a campaign, I am gonna use roll20, thank you very much.

But yeah, what WotC should make just more accessible was just: Timeline, important places and the maps (heck, make them interactive, you have the fucking money), maybe also a proper list of the pantheons and factions within the world. Heck, add maybe some inspiration there for what players might want to do within one of the scenarios and then, under this, go and link "hey, we made this one adventure about this, if you are interested!"

Something I did not realize originally was how much freedom the lore still leaves the people. Like, often even the important settings and events are just set-ups for adventures that the characters can have in there. There might be a few novels or comics then, that go into an example of a thing certain established characters like Drizzt or Elminster did during the time, but there is a ton of freedom to explore.

But by basically locking everything up behind a paywall, you will never get people even interested in this kinda stuff.

Because here is the thing: I like my lore. I love lore. I adore lore. But... Without BG3 explaining some stuff and giving me specific questions to ask about it, the lore would have been very inaccessible to me.

Just think of people as... people

Of course among it all there lies the central problem that comes with capitalism running something like this. See, whatever CEOs and shareholders are sitting on those chairs with WotC and Hasbro, they do not see the players as players or the community as a community, but as consumers. Just as they see their employees not as valued constributors, but very exchangable wage slaves.

They do not see the value of the community exchange with stuff like fanmade modules and things. While incorporating a bit of homebrew stuff in DnD Beyond, they are absolutely not interested in the wider market of people just creatively interacting with DnD and making a little bit of money from it. If anything they see those people as potential rivals on the market.

Heck, they have issues seeing things like Critical Role or Roll20 as the enrichment for the franchise that either are - but more like potential rivaling forces and money they have lost.

And their employees? Yeah, as we learned... Most people who from the side of WotC helped the Larian team with BG3 have been let go by now. Because WotC and Hasbro do not care for their employees, they only care about having some numbers going up.

I fully admit it. Apart from Buying BG3 and the money I have invested in anything DnD:HAT related, the only money that WotC got from me, was some of the novels I bought on Audible.

But here is the thing: WotC is doing a shite job at wanting me to invest into any of their stuff. Partly because those modules I would like to have are not available anywhere anyway - and partly because... As I said, give me a reason to get something, rather than just expecting me to randomly get something.

And mind you, this is no slight against any of the people just working for WotC. This is mostly about shareholder and executive decisions made. Stuff that basically just sees either their employers or the players just as a ressource to exploit, rather than... people.

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acethegaycard · 1 year

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Boo!

Mwahahahaha scaring the souls out of genshin characters with horror games (It's only a few FNAF jumpscares lmao)

Reader knows lots of fnaf lore and talks about it because if you didn't have a FNAF hyperfixation how did you survive as a kid???

sagau ig??? could just be an isekai situation idrc

Characters: Hu Tao, Xiao, Albedo

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone who has met you within Teyvat have noticed something. You always tend to have this, small and thin box like thing with you. Oh, what did you call it again? A.. "phone"! Right.

Though most of them are perplexed by how it could possibly operate, they don't believe they could figure it out anytime soon. But they are always so interested in it when to use it! You can message people within seconds, do work, ask questions on the Inter-something.. and you can play games? What kind of games? They wondered what type of things like that would interest you.

Puzzles, online card games, what they weren't thinking of was something called FNAF. You rambled on about the lore of it every once in a while, so they though it was some sort of book series. But a horror game? Not what they were thinking.

Hu Tao would honestly love it.

Jumpscares? Scary?? No, its top tier humor to her. Tries to speedrun multiple games with you. Is actually quite good with most of the mechanics in all the game. (unlike me) Obsesses over game four and the nightmares, probably because a lot of people think its one of the scariest games. She's all "What do you mean scary? This is fun! :D" And if she ever got to meet Evan, she'd just fire him questions about the nightmares as if the boy wasn't absolutely traumatized by them.

If you own any of the books, she would get even more into it. Listens to every word you say about it, now you both obsess over the same thing.

I can see most characters disliking FNAF for its horror aspect, and yk all the murder and death, but her? Invested. I would totally take her to the FNAF movie when it comes out. 10/10

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Xiao would have such a monotone reaction.

"This is what people find fearful?"

Unimpressed would be an understatement. Now, that whole disappointed act fades away the moment you actually force him to play one of the games.

He's... ok at the game. Not anything incredibly good. You'd think that with his unimpressed attitude he'd be really good and chill and just call it easy, but no. Once he actually has to focus on the game? It would be impossible to distract him. His eyes are glued to that screen. Ain't no animatronic jumpscaring him today, no sir.

He won't allow himself to lose. If he does though? He wouldn't rage quit or anything, just a small frustrated sigh and a restart of the game. The more he loses though, the more it would get on his nerves. If he dies over 4 times in the same game he'd just hand your device back to you and just vanish.

Will absolutely lose his shit over balloon boy though. (me too) That little annoying guy comes up and steals his batteries, and suddenly the games in your hand and some random nearby hilichurls are going to meet a very bloody fate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Albedo is the no. 1 theorist out of them all.

I daresay that this man could debate with MatPat himself. May or may not have figured out almost half the lore by himself. He could be the next big game theorist. But other than memorizing every detail of the lore by memory, he's really good at the games.

He really enjoys the Sister Location game and Security Breach. Mostly because of their different gameplays, since they're very different than the other games. Also because of the lore. He loves the lore.

You thought that you rambled a lot about FNAF? Watch that title be taken away from you by none other than that blonde alchemist. Now YOU'RE listening to him excessively talk about a new theory he came up with about game 1 and 2. Now he's somehow beaten you in your own fixation.

Will constantly trash talk William, intentionally or not. His face turns to one of slight distaste when what he's talking about has William in it. Absolutely hates the guy. I mean, most people do, but he's now Albedo's worst (fictional) enemy. Who he is really interested in? Sun and Moon. if he had to pick a favorite game, it would be Security Breach. Genuinely wants to know the different programming between the two, what cues are used to change them when the lights are on/off, etc etc.

a/n: STOP IMAGINE ALBEDO ACTUALLY ARGUING WITH MATPAT OR MAKING A RESPONSE VIDEO TO ONE OF HIS THEORIES

#genshin impact #genshin #xiao #albedo #hu tao #sagau #genshin isekai #isekai #fnaf #my two obsessions in one #totally not based off a fanart i saw #self aware genshin #genshin x reader #genshin crack #crack #five night at freddy's

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biasbuck · 1 month

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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday everyone! This is my first 911 ficrec post (I'm usually over here if ill-fated hunters and their angel husbands are your jam) but I've been DEEP in the Evan Buckley hyperfixation throughout April so come with me for what I've been reading!

This is a combination of Buddie and Bucktommy and buckeddietommy (aka buckeddie and meatballs, heh!)

26 April 2024

tell me about despair by @hattalove was the first fic I read, specifically because I wanted to get inside Eddie's head more as on first viewing I found him a little trickier to grasp...but yeah...that might just be because I am he and he am I. This fic was an wonderful way in to understanding his inner workings. His queer awakening and the associated traumas he has to work through were handled with such care, and the character voices were just gorgeous. "Eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. There's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. Except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too"

evan, elated and euphoric by @gayhoediaz 16500 words of bucktommy first time smut anyone?? "Buck likes it - not just being with Tommy, being with a man - that part is obvious, but he… likes that he likes it. He loves that he likes it. Truthfully, he doesn’t think that he has ever felt more at home in his own body than he does in this very moment." This is such a delightful exploration (through copious amounts of sizzling sex) in Buck feeling fully present and fully himself in his sexuality, and it's gloriously decadent as well as sweet and sexy as hell. I loved this characterisation of Tommy.

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels all hail the threesome fics! In which the correct answer is always - Both? Both is good! This one is gloriously kinky and sexy and I love the 'guiding hand' aspect and how both Buck and Eddie allow themselves to be led. "It's not that Buck's not happy with Eddie. It's just that being with Tommy taught him things about himself, things he wants, and he doesn't quite know how to ask Eddie for those things. He shouldn't have underestimated how well Eddie knows him, or how willing Tommy is to lend a helping, instructional hand."

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by @elvensorceress is a gorgeously written allegorical tale with PEAK Buddie and Christopher family vibes set between S4&5. "In the aftermath of the sniper attack, Buck has to keep going without his partner while sorting through the layers of everything they are to each other, while Eddie fights for his life and through all his internalized trauma and regret for everything they never managed to say. aka After nearly losing each other, Buck and Eddie find their way to each other and their family’s happily ever after." My absolute favourite thing about this fic is the thread with the bedtime story that Christopher and Buck have created together. Just beautiful.

five ways to fall in love with the man in the mirror by @buckttommy is a bucktommy fic but crucially a Buck absolutely revelling in the poetry of getting to know your own identity. It also crucially gives me Jay Hulme vibes (iykyk) "Buck meets God at a gay club. He finds him in an oil-slick puddle on a damp night, neon lights reflecting off the kaleidoscopic liquid in the parking lot. or; Evan Buckley falls in love with himself."

and i know how i feel by @middyblue is a very sweet Buck coming out to Bobby fic, written I believe between 7x04 and 7x05. ALL the Dad!Bobby feels. "Buck stares off over the hills of Los Angeles, hugging his knees. He half wants to take out his phone and start playing Nine Simone (it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling - ) and half can’t bear to drown out the thin peace of bird calls in the quiet blue of the morning. Footsteps scrape on gravel behind him and he turns, half-expecting another hiker, but it’s Bobby, carrying a coffee tray with two to-go cups and a paper bag."

Short and sweet fic:

For All Occasions by @storybelle FIREFAM FEELS! In which of course, as per tradition, Hen makes the 118 a cake. I neeeeeed Hen and Buck queer camaraderie show, I need it, and just like this!

Wedding Bell Blues by @klutzygirl - much needed supportive parents actually fic! "Margaret and Phillip meet their son's new boyfriend when they arrive in town for Maddie's wedding." it doesn't go how Buck would expect, in the best way.

PS - if you have any henren authors/fic recs I should check out PLEASE let me know! I'm new and I love them!

#biasbuck recs #911 fic #911 ficrec #911 abc #911 on abc #buddie #bucktommy #kinley #tevan #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard

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nilboxes · 5 months

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Light cone art so powerfully homoerotic someone (me) furiously pumped out a 6k word fic in 2 days. They're going to kill me. 🔗 : AO3

Extensive notes/ramblings below!

I have not recovered from the mental power I had to pool to write this lmao I couldn't do anything at work except figure these two out and why Aventurine looked so BESOTTED but the absence of the little white dots in his eyes in the light cone and in the leaked models made him look like there's such an edge to him (someone on twitter pointed out that he has no light in his eyes!) and it really fanned the flames like what the fuck is this GUY ON and why is it directed at Dr. Ratio LMAO (I mean why not Ratio is so pretty)

So then I thought, there is NO WAY Ratio is going to react surprised or scared for Aventurine he's going to be ANNOYED lmao. There are possibly 2 more chances in that cylinder before it's 100% in there and I was looking at the probabilities on Wikipedia and I was laughing at myself at how a gay ship was going to make me STUDY probability when I hated this type of stuff in university and I was like yeah Ratio will probably be like hey, you can't stop there, and pulls twice lmao

And I was thinking they would make eyes at each other homoerotically while doing so because wow sexual tension so potent you can taste it through the screen in the LC art and everything just went from there I really cannot get over how Aventurine seems so... sooooooo in love with Ratio and in my head Ratio is like this man is insane what is he on but he gets a taste of that and it's like wow it's actually a little good but Ratio is also cautious so he won't ride that wave too hard but Aventurine looks really down bad for a man who seems like he doesn't care

So initially I really wanted to wait until Aventurine came out before I start my hyperfixation train because we know so little about him other than key facts I have formed in my head-- -he's perpetual smiler (confirmed by a leak of the loading screen blurbs) and like, idk from his design it just suits him and even in his voice cameo with Topaz his VA sounds like they are smiling while they are talking ALLL the time idk at least I got this one right -mr gambling gambler who is very self-assured about his luck, mr smug man. when I wrote he'd win 99.9-0.1 he believes this and if he dies I think to him it would just mean his time's up for realsies anyway and whatever idk man is not very sane -there's some really weird leaks and I'm not sure if it's confirmed but he was invited to be a Masked Fool which made him ALLL the more interesting for me because as a Sampo Mr Scammer fan it doesn't mean if he joins the Masked Fools he wouldn't be able to amass money but this guy seems to really like the thrill being an IPC senior manager provides then which is like this guy is a lives fast dies young kinda guy -I HC from that neck tattoo he could have been an indentured servant (cough slave cough) or a prisoner of some kind, but eitherway it says he wasn't privileged in any sense of the word but the way his character design is so decked out in rings gold watches and even a bracelet it means he's climbed very far, so he is an ambitious man, lots of "material pleasures" as Dr Ratio puts it in my fic and he still wants more. That kinda guy makes for a very intense lover imo very "I get what I want" type, and I really wanted to balance that with his attraction to Dr Ratio and how he doesn't want to drive Dr Ratio away with his crazy but he's also very horny... Anyway I also totally underestimated his height difference with Dr Ratio I really should have pulled up that leak of them side by side but ahh being a short king dom top is so cute on him

As for Dr Ratio I really cannot see him top unless Aventurine power bottoms why but he's so "diligent" in all aspects but I see him being a pillow princess in bed

I also feel a little bad that I wasn't able to write more bickering between the two of them but I also feel like the normally talkative Dr Ratio keeps HIGH HIGH walls around Aventurine because it's hard to tell what this guy is thinking so he's thinking so hard trying to make sense of it all and he says little as not to give away anything that might be wrong

I feel like adding "all is fair in love and war" in Latin omina iusta sunt amore belloque was a little gratuitous but I also want to subtly sprinkle in that Aventurine is so obsessed with Ratio, so down bad for him, that he reads stuff about Dr Ratio a lot enough to come across a translation of the quote and I'm like no yeah way Ratio can deal with crazy-eyed Aventurine saying/declaring love while he's still computing the electric exchange they had so he's definitely like picking up on Aventurine's obsession/infatuation with him and he's like NOPE DON'T SAY IT and would rather kiss him to shut him up than hear it lmao

I honestly despaired at how I was going to start closing the scenes because it was like nighttime and I wanted to finish it already because they're killing me, so like, making Ratio fall asleep while Aventurine pours his heart out (I asked a friend who read it what he thought Aventurine said and they got it spot on so I figure it was conveyed properly on my end and I was really proud of this bit) seemed like a cute way to do it. The narration lied, Dr Ratio heard it but he got selective hearing and totally did NOT want to reply/acknowledge it. Poor Aventurine, but it's not as if he won't try again

I have waaay more ideas about them and I wonder if I can hold off until Aventurine releases or we get more crumbs idk but I want to write some kuudere Ratio (with a bit of tsun hehe)

Special mentions other than the lightcone art that fueled me: this art from Twitter that and this post that kinda made me think long and hard...

#voidmancer writes #aventio #hsr dr ratio #hsr aventurine #hsr fanfic

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samd1o1 · 1 year

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Sometimes I can't tell if a character is coded or I'm projecting...

With that in mind, let's talk about The Spot!!!

Ok so, I think Spot is coded to be disabled. Specifically a newly physically disabled person.

My main reasons to call this coding is because of Spot's lines like "I can't really get a job anymore being like this." "My family won't even look at me."

He can't get work anymore and his family has disowned him. An unfortunate reality for many disabled people.

Of course this could also fit with some other types of coding but I think it's for disability this time around because his body literally went through a change. He has to relearn how to do basic things like eat for example. He has to learn how to navigate his body again.

Another fun point I want to bring up is his character's gothic horror aspects! (This is related I swear).

Again could just be my personal biases (I just had a gothic horror hyperfixation). But I think it's partly intentional.

The Spot reminds me a LOT of The Invisible Man. Both are scientists who have undergone a painful horrific body horror transformation that has led them to be outcasts. They are both silly at times but angered easily to the points of world domination. (Also Spot's outfit in the store is a reference to The Invisible Man)

Now The Invisible Man (story) has a lot of gothic horror aspects. Most importantly a monster who has undergone a transformation that has led him to being outcast by society. He's othered.

Same thing happens to our boy Johnathon! The reason I wanted to bring this up is because gothic horror tends to be relatable and loved by lots of queer and disabled people.

The reason is a big theme is said othering of the monster. In an effort to other the monster from "normal" people you accidentally (or intentionally) end up making something relatable to lots of people, typically queer and disabled people! Hence why many villains in pop culture are queer and disabled icons, while not actually being stated as such in canon explicitly.

Ok sorry for rambling lol but this has been on my mind since I saw the movie. Anyway The Spot is disabled bye.

#I will not shut up about him #The Spot #Johnathon Ohnn #Spider-Man #Spider-Man Across The Spiderverse #Spiderman #Spiderman Across The Spiderverse #ATSV #SATSV #Disabled #Disability

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angelnumbing · 1 year

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astro observations; one

astrology is one of my hyperfixations and i spend sooo much time studying it + info collecting that i figure i may as well share some of my observations.

this post will be mainly focused on platonic synastry. i notice most synastry posts focus on romantic connections, and even though i do still love those posts, i figured it may be helpful to others to be able interpret the same placements without the romantic element. i’m going to be speaking from personal experience so warning for oversharing.

negative aspects to chiron can point out where or how you hurt each other most during arguments or where you trigger trauma without realizing it. for example, my mom and i have mutual sun square chiron placements and we both have deep trauma associated with one another just by kind of existing.

mars conjunct jupiter could indicate that you fight a lot.

moon square neptune: neptune may be prone to hiding their feelings from moon but moon person can intuitively pick up on what’s bothering neptune. basically, moon can read neptune like a book.

mercury in 1h overlay can indicate the house person thinking the mercury person is funny or charismatic. i have this with my sister (her mercury in my first) and i think she’s funny as hell.

mercury conjunct mars: not only do you inspire each other creatively, but you motivate each other to go after what you want. in addition, you may also desire to collaborate on projects because you work so well together.

ascendant conjunct ascendant: “love” at first sight. literally the first time i even saw my best friend 11 years ago i knew we were going to be besties, and we clicked upon meeting. this is another placement where you just get each other, but imo this on its own doesn’t denote a lasting friendship.

with ceres conjunct venus, you’re each other’s mom friend.

it gets said a lot, but negative aspects aren’t always a sign of doom.

lilith conjunct neptune … stop encouraging your bestie’s delusions!!! she’s DELUSIONAL!!!!

sun in positive aspect to a friend’s uranus (or vice versa) is kind of giving “when the whole friend group is crazy” vibes. like y’all get together and just bring out the weirdness in each other.

divider credit: @earthscent. i'm no expert so if you have any thoughts don't be afraid to lmk!

#astrology #astroblr #astro observations #astrology community #idk what else to tag hehe #lydposting #synastry

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khookn · 8 months

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I’ve been lurking your account for awhile and really like your Clone High oc!!! Can we get some more info/lore?

I'M SOOO EXCITED YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY SUN TZU CLONE OH!!! Sorry if this isn't very clear it's because I'm not good with this sort of stuff I've had since August so like I got so so much

I'LL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER TO MORE IF NEED BE I HAVE SO MUCH SO CLICK BELOW FOR THE WORD WALL YOU'RE ABOUT TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR!! :D

His inspiration stems from a lot of things like my irl friends, him being the opposite of Confucius, other stuff and a bit of the clonefather himself so yeah it's a doozy how much I got.

So, baseline is because he's a clone of the war general, strategist and philosopher I was like "yeah no this dude would mostly be a gamer for stuff that requires strategy and winning like League of Legends (I'm sorry)", I pin him as the type of gamer who'd have hundreds of games on steam clocking no less than 300 hours each and has a huge variety of stuff he plays but he can't stand some like minecraft because the world is too vast for him. Also he likes playing his games ranked and he's a rather good sport in games.

So like you know the shadow government right, like because Sun Tzu is one of those clones who in fact inherited the talents of their clonefathers and is able to utilize it really well, they're like "ohhh shit he could actually be like the legendary general of his clonefather" but he doesn't care at all he uses whatever tactic and strategy and psychology wit he inherited into gaming.

He's a pretty well known name because he's insane when it comes to gaming and winning esports competitons and whatnot so it brings to Confucius right because Confucius would've caught wind of it and want to grab him to do podcasts with him, in attempts to buttering Sun into doing so he got attached and clingy along the way and his entire dynamic with Sun just wound up being that because Sun doesn't actually have that many friends thanks to his gaming hyperfixation.

And like upbringing is,,, how do I put this

His upbringing like, his foster parents right, is different from confu in the sense I want it to be a household where he feels loved despite not having shown it because everyone's got their own boundaries. In my head, dad, mom, 3 triplet brothers so his dad looks like dude nukem, mom is a psych op, brothers look like replica toy soldiers, navy, airforce and field soldier respectively. The reason why he just wound up being a gamer was due to hand me downs from his brother and he got so hyperfixated at it he'd rather do nothing but that. Like he has nothing to do with the theme and aesthetic his family got like it's to the point the interior of the house is hella military heavy and shit and if you go into sun tzu's room it's soundproofed RTX light hell. Organized mess setup.

His personality I'd say is very blunt and direct, doesn't really care about his image, he's mellow but has a rather hyperactive side to him too, his temper is rather calm nerve but can be flicked like a switch but it's so hard to really do so but if he's angered he's sure to actually scare people without having to raise his fists. He knows how to talk people into submission and such if he really has to I think. His gaming addiction certainly did stunt or inhibit a lot of aspects in him but he doesn't really mind it as long as he has fun.

He's the kind of guy who'd be good at everything he does pretty easily but it doesn't seem to matter because like all he does is play video games for like bajillions of hours so it's not like it's really going to go anywhere but there so he's like, someone you know has potential but depending on how, or well, how the shadow government sees it is wasted potential.

He's super camera shy and has stage fright so he's not very good at performing for a crowd, he's also cursed whenever it comes to being in a camera because whenever his picture gets taken it wounds up scary or blurry and he's unable to fake a smile for the camera and while he likes taking pictures it's just that pictures taken by him are often garbage too like, when he takes food pics, it's AFTER he's eaten so people won't even be able to tell what he has eaten and that he just generally doesn't give that much thought into it either.

Few additional quirks include that he's aroace, he could actually get in shape very easily if he wanted to but since he's sitting on a gaming chair most of the time he just wound up tubby, if he were to exercise it's freakishly quick but he can also return to being chubby too. He's also severely addicted to G-Fuel even if it doesn't really work with him.

In regards to gaming he's able to not sleep for days at a time just to play over the sheer will but in turn he would have to sleep a lot when he's completely tired like he's THAT PASSIONATE (addicted).

Idk if this is understandable or anything but wow this is a word wall but I know I have a lot more than that I'm just not used to doing text posts. I'd be happy to answer other stuff regarding him!

#ask #clone high oc #clone high sun tzu #clone high #text post #fanart #khoo art #my art #sun tzu #clone high confucius #fanclone #clone high fanclone

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feyspeaker · 7 months

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Hiii! Gosh, I love your work SO MUCH. You recently mentioned in an answer to someone that you have ADHD and because of that, you have lots of rituals for your work in order to stay focused. May I ask what your routine is? I have struggled for years and years as a working artist to control or harness my adhd, and I would love to hear what works for you!! Thank you so much for even reading this :)))

Hi there!! Thank you so much. ♥

I'm probably a terrible person to give advice, because I absolutely do NOT have a handle on my ADHD. I often feel like I'm drowning in it, as I'm sure a lot of other people in the same situation can commiserate with. A lot of my issues are exacerbated by my agoraphobia and anxiety, but I won't go too into that stuff because I am not really in a place to talk about that aspect of my life so much. I do think I've become more aware of it as I have gotten older and am definitely better at managing it than I was when I was younger. Also to start off, I'm not medicated for it.

First and foremost, I tend to need to overstimulate myself in order to get down to painting, though this is only so effective. I play really loud, very noisy music when I work. Angelspit, Combichrist, The Gazette, etc. Heavy electronic, industrial, nu metal kind of stuff. It helps drown out my thoughts so I can focus on painting. I need to Not Think to be able to paint. I have to already know I'm in flow state on something and really into it if I'm going to be playing mellower stuff.

I also like to play youtube videos or shows on things I'm currently fixated on. Like I'll watch nothing but videos on Welsh folklore or horse training or whatever the hell. I really struggle with listening to audiobooks or podcasts because they aren't engaging enough.

I have parental controls on my computer set up so that I can block out any distracting websites, however this is really not super helpful because I have to keep social media open at all times as it's part of my job to manage those things. It does help some though. It might work for you! They make browser extensions for it.

I try to keep momentum on pieces. I can't let a piece sit for more than a few days, or I know it's time to bin it and give up. I either hyperfixate on a painting until it's done, or it's not good enough and it's going to be like an anchor dragging my momentum down. The second I feel momentum waning I know I need to make a change. I've made huge changes to how I take commissions in order to help me with this, as this is my biggest struggle. I hate sending updates on things, waiting for emails, painting things I'm not super invested in, etc. I recognize that I am incredibly blessed/lucky to be in a position to be a little pickier about the work I take on and how I take it. But I do firmly believe in general that a commission based artist should try to make sure they are doing work they enjoy and not just slogging away on something that they don't vibe with at all. That's good advice for anyone, but I do think that us folk with ADHD tend to feel burnout and artblock harder. I know when I have artblock literally NOTHING can get me to paint, so that's why momentum is so important.

I also try to recognize things that I know are going to trigger me into avoiding what I need to do for the day, or causing me to spiral. For example, if I know I need to make a phone call I try to do that first if at all possible, otherwise I am going to end up not getting anything done for the next 6 hours. If I know I'm going to have to have to leave the house for an appointment or something scheduled, I typically just let that day be a wash and don't plan any work for it. I end up physically ill when I have something I have to go out and do (like going to some appointment or even something small like going to pick something up off of FB marketplace) so I try to just Avoid That, but if I can't I will just clear my schedule for the day.

I try to maximize my Good Days by minimizing things that trigger my procrastination/lack of motivation/distractions. But when I have bad days I just try not to beat myself up about it. (Still do, but I'm trying to get better.)

The worst thing is letting a whole day be wasted sitting there, knowing the time is passing. Knowing that there is something you should be doing, but you're not doing it. Knowing that you don't want to be doing that thing, and that you'd rather be playing a game or painting something else. But not doing that either. And before you know it, the sun is setting and you've done no work AND had no fun and it's time for bed. Ugh, I've had so many days like that.

It's important to recognize when that is happening, and to just say "fuck it" and go do the fun thing you want to do instead of toiling for hours in indecision. That's probably bad advice for people who have poor responsibility skills (like actually making sure to get work done on the good days) but I am saying this in good faith. Sometimes when that happens I'll let myself go bake a bunch of bread or obsessively clean a cabinet out so I still feel like I did something that day. Next day, I try to do better.

I don't know if this is helpful at all- I know people with ADHD have a lot of different experiences/tendencies, but this is what helps me. I slipped a lot after my dad's cancer diagnosis several years ago and felt myself really just completely letting go into the ADHD time void because my thoughts and worries were so loud I couldn't drown them out with all the screamo in the world. I started fixating on BG3 really hard near the end, and it's absolutely responsible for me being Okay artistically and emotionally speaking after his passing last month. I think difficult situations can make our symptoms worse, and to an extent we have to ride the wave and be kind to ourselves.

That's perhaps my closing thought- be patient and kind to yourself. Our brains don't really work right but it can be a blessing in that I think the flow state we are capable of is really something otherwordly. So try to identify what helps trigger that in you and foster it.

#ask

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alpaca-clouds · 1 month

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Lessons in Sincerity: Stories and Autism

I spend one of my weeks in hospital sharing a room with one of the most exhausting individuals: A white, cis gay grandpa. Exhausting, because old, white, cis gays tend to have this thing about them, where they do not believe in privilege, because they certainly cannot have privilege, because in the 80s and 90s the governments let them die of HIV. And because their issues are fixed, stuff is actually great now. As such this gay granpa loved to complain about stuff us young gays did. Chief among them anime, because all anime is stupid, according to gay grandpa. (Note, that according to gay grandpa everything animated was anime, including the exclusively western animated shows I watched while sharing that room.)

I quickly gave up arguing about it, because gay grandpa loved to hear himself talk either way. But of course gay grandpa is not the first old white man I heard chiefly complaining about modern animated properties.

Meanwhile I am thinking about how important the animated stuff was always to me - especially as an autistic kid. And I actually think that fits very well with the entire idea of sincerity in storytelling. Especially when I am thinking about Digimon.

See, thinking about the entire thing with sincerity in storytelling, I do think about Digimon a lot, because Digimon is very much a property that is really, really big about this aspect. Digimon is very, very sincere in the way it tells its stories. While so much western media really is afraid of those big emotions, Digimon has always been all about those big ass emotions.

And... Well, to me as an autistic kid this was so incredibly valuable.

Digimon was for a long time my main hyperfixation. And part of that was undoubtedly that it just helped me parse my own emotions, which I struggled so much with during my childhood. I lacked the proper interoception to properly understand what I was feeling at any given time - and Digimon, a show that ran on 200% emotions all of the time, really, really helped me with figuring that out. Just as it helped learning some basic social scripts that I was lacking at that point in time.

And I think funnily enough, there is also something to be said about the value of sincerity in storytelling through this. Because this aspect of sincerity I am talking about - letting emotions in the story just happen and flow - might in fact be the reason for why folks love Digimon Adventure so much.

See, it is something I never really got behind, because just from an analytical standpoint... That show is not very well written. It simply is not. But holy shit, it is super raw and super sincere in a lot of regards. And I do think... more than anything that resonated with a lot of people watching the show. And really, none of the other seasons does have this sincerity to that degree.

Which is... Absolutely interesting, I gotta say.

#sincerity #anime #autism #digimon #digimon adventure #digimon tamers

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