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klbwriting · 3 months

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Not Romeo, Not Juliet

Chapter 4: But Given Unsought

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: some violence

Summary: Jason goes to Big Belly Burger to see YN after a couple weeks away, realizes he is head over heels

Notes: the incident in this chapter actually happened to me when I was working at McDonald's in 2005 because a filet o fish HAD CHEESE, life feeds art right?

Love sought, is good; but given unsought, is better — Twelfth Night, Act 3 Scene 1

Jason had kept himself busy for the next couple weeks, knowing that if he went to find YN at her home or job everyday it would be creepy. He wanted to talk to YN, figure out how he could explain himself to her and get her to forgive him for being with those people at the open mic, but he didn't know how without you thinking he was some kind of stalker. So he waited, did rehearsal, actually found himself doing well, until one Friday after rehearsal he decided to go visit Big Belly Burger. Just once, see what her reaction was. If she was entirely against seeing him he would leave and let her be, but if she wasn't so angry maybe he would try to get her number, just talk to her. He felt so stupid, why would she want to talk to him? He was just some guy who had ruined her night, some guy who couldn't even make friends when people were throwing themselves at him, he wasn't a good brother, had been a terrible son, and now, what was he? He sighed, the self loathing getting more intense as he drove the motorcycle into Crime Alley. He parked it in an alley a few streets away and walked the rest of the way, entering the fast food joint and waiting in the short line. Not too many people were out on Friday nights in Crime Alley, anyone who went out went to a safer part of Gotham, and everyone else stayed locked up in their homes. The person in front of him left with their order and Jason came face to face with YN.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, looking surprised to see him. She probably thought he had given up after their last meeting. Jason put on what he hoped was a friendly smile and after a second YN gave him a small smile back. Hopefully that was a good sign and not just her customer service skills taking over. He ordered, surprising her with how much he wanted. She didn't say anything, just dutifully took his card and tapped it. "It'll be out shortly." Her customer service voice was kind of cute and he chuckled a little. That was the wrong move, she glared at him.

"Sorry, just you sound different..." he said, trying to explain himself. She looked at hard at him and turned to the staging area to wait for his tray. He sighed, wanting to smack himself. How was he such an ass without meaning to be? She turned again and set his food down. He took the tray and went to sit down, making sure he was near the door, back to the wall so he could see everything in the room. He could feel her eyes on him as she went to a closet in near the bathrooms and pulled out a broom. She swept her way through the empty restaurant down to where he was sitting.

"So why did you come here again? Seeing how the other half lives with our menial jobs?" she asked, but her voice lacked the annoyed edge it usually had with him. He looked at her and found she had stopped actually sweeping, she was leaning on the broom, watching him.

"No, I told you I used to live around here so sometimes I come back, check things out," he said. Which was true, he was trying to find a way to help around there without resorting to Robin-like antics. He didn't need Batman finding him.

"Ok, say I believe you, there are other fast food places around, why this one?" she asked. He looked at her, popping a fry in his mouth to give him time to think of something that wasn't just 'I think you're adorable and want to talk to you'.

"I like your fries," he said. "And the company isn't so bad either." She blushed a little, turning to sweep at imaginary dust and he smiled, liking the reaction. "YN, maybe you'd want to talk? I..."

"Can I get service here?" someone from the register yelled. YN froze and turned, sighing a little as she set the broom out of the way and went to the customer.

"Sorry about that, can I help you?" she asked, plastering on a fake smile. The guy ordered in an annoyed tone and then waited for his order. She brought the bag to him and he opened it up, frowning. "Is there something wrong?" she asked before the sandwich went flying, hitting her in the face. She let out a cry of surprise, grabbing the counter so she didn't slip. The guy's hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

"I didn't say to put cheese on my fucking sandwich," he snarled. She stared at him like he was nuts. Before she could even answer Jason was across the room, gripping the guy's shoulder hard, forcing him to let go. Jason psychically turned the guy around to put himself between YN and the customer.

"How about we talk to the employee's with some respect," Jason said, voice a dangerous bass. He was fighting the rage that was growing in him, eyes drifting towards green, that strange power that coursed through him begging to be unleashed. The guy glared at him, clearly not wanting a fight. He backed up towards the door and Jason looked at YN. "Are you ok?" She nodded and he heard the small ding of the door.

"Your boyfriend won't be here all the time bitch," the guy said. Jason turned, eyes now a flaring emerald, and the guy ran, Jason giving chase. He was a block away before Jason caught up, tackling him to the ground, rolling the guy over.

"Don't you ever go back in there again," Jason said, fist slamming into the guys face. He heard a crunch and stood up, needing to get away before he killed the guy. He could feel the desire, the need for blood in his veins. He went to where he parked the bike, punching the brick wall several times, beating it with the side of his fists, until the rage subsided and he could breathe again. He panted, looking at his bloodied arms and shook his head, driving back home.

Dick was waiting when he came in and he immediately saw the blood.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, walking over. Jason stepped back before he could touch him. He looked at Dick, looking for signs of anger. Bruce would have been pissed if he had come back bloody like this. Dick just looked concerned.

"I almost lost it on some guy, but instead I beat up a wall," Jason said. Dick nodded, and pointed to the bathroom, a strange look in his eyes.

"Get cleaned up, how about tomorrow morning we do some boxing and you can tell me what actually happened," he said. Jason sighed and just shrugged, knowing he didn't have much of a choice.

Bright and early Dick had Jason gloved up at the local gym he owned. He had made sure the place was closed that morning so that he and Jason could really talk without disruption. They went for about half an hour with just sparring, getting warmed up and feeling each other out. Jason knew that the serious talk was coming when Dick slowed down and let him get a jab to his face in. Jason smirked, that felt good, he always liked getting on over on his big brother. If truth be told Jason was a better brawler, could overwhelm Dick if he got more than two shots in a row in, but Dick was fast, which made him a hard target to hit.

"Can we talk?" Dick asked, recovering from the hit and removing his gloves. Jason sighed and sat in the middle of the ring, leaning back on his hands. Dick stood in the corner, leaning on a turnbuckle. "So what actually happened last night?" Jason let out a sigh, he might as well tell the truth.

"I went to Crime Alley to see someone, they go to Gotham Academy and she's well, kind of amazing," Jason said. Dick's eyebrows went up. "She works at a Big Belly Burger near my old apartment so I went there for dinner, try to talk to her, see when I went to that open mic with the seniors from theater they played a horrible prank on her and she thought I was involved so I tried apologizing again, and I think she forgave me? We talked a little, then this guy came in and was such a dick, he threw a sandwich at her and grabbed her. I was seeing red and so angry, I stopped him from hurting her, then he threatened to come back for her so I chased him, I punched him, just once and then I went to beat up a wall before I really hurt him," Jason rambled. Dick stood silent, staring for a solid minute once he was done.

"Ok, I'm going to try and follow this. You met a girl, who you clearly have a thing for," he started. Jason nodded, might as well admit that he was crushing hard on YN. "Then some guy threatened her and you chased him, punched him, then hit a wall?" "Pretty much," he said. Dick nodded and them smiled.

"What's her name?" his brother asked. Jason felt his cheeks heating up. He knew he had to spill now, but he had liked keeping her to himself for a moment, if he said her name then his feelings were real and he did not like having feelings to begin with, let alone ones like this.

"YN," he said. He saw the change in Dick's face, saw him doing some thinking.

"Is her mother sick?" he asked suddenly and Jason stared at him. Did he know YN? Jason nodded. "You should stay away from her, in fact I demand you stay away from her." Jason looked confused, standing.

"Why?" he asked. Dick looked conflicted.

"Just, do as I say, please, she's trouble," he said. Jason shook his head. Figures, another 'father' wanting to control him, not trusting his judgement. He ripped his pads off, throwing them at the floor and walking out of the gym, annoyed.

The sun was high in the sky when Jason got to Crime Alley. He didn't remember that YN was at practice until he was almost at her work. Of course, it would have been weird to just show up after he had ghosted the day before, what would she even think? He sighed and turned back, meaning to go back to the apartment and force Dick to tell him what he was on about with YN when he heard someone cry out nearby. He looked down the alley, seeing a guy with a knife and a woman, clutching her hand to her chest, purse already on the ground, the contents scattered.

"Give me the ring or I'm going to cut it off you," the guy said. Jason glared, sliding the hockey mask he always carried out of his pocket, putting it on, and putting up his hood. He marched down the alley, rolling up his sleeves. The guy looked at him, brandishing the knife at him. "What are you supposed to -" he didn't finish as Jason kicked him in the stomach, knocking him into the wall. He grabbed the guy's wrist, forcing him to drop the knife and then put a forearm to the guy's throat before turning to the woman.

"Get your stuff and go," he said. She wearily gathered her things and ran out of the alley. Jason looked back at the mugger, who was now passed out and let him drop to the ground. He went to the mouth of the alley, calling the police, making sure he heard sirens before he ran off, putting the mask away and heading home. That felt good, helping that woman, protecting her, that felt really good.

#jason todd #jasontodd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #redhood #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #notromeo

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somekindofsentience · 3 months

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OCD in Hello Charlotte 3, or why Charles Eyler doesn't (necessarily) have Dissociative Identity Disorder

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR HELLO CHARLOTTE 3

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions of severe mental illness, including intrusive thoughts and psychosis. Please be warned if this may cause you to spiral out of control, and take care of yourself.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of this is coming from my personal experience and understanding of OCD. While I do not experience DID, I don't really focus much on it in this, more reframing Scarlett Eyler as a character. You can take Charles' experiences however you feel is accurate.

I feel like the fandom gets tripped up when Charles calls Scarlett Eyler a tulpa.

I've seen a lot of people state that this quote directly implies Charles has DID, and that's therefore canon. But I'd actually like to propose a different take, that Scarlett is a physical manifestation of Charles' intrusive thoughts.

First of all, a tulpa implies a sense of desire - it is willingly created through spiritual meditation. Scarlett is, in no way, a desired existence that haunts Charles. There is some debate as to whether or not the game was originally in Russian or English, but regardless, tulpa just may be what Charles refers to the phenomenon as. It's not as if this directly confirms anything, as we know in-game Charles is only diagnosed with autism, and takes medication for psychosis.

Charles experiences many symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD in particular. He is intensely preoccupied with purity and disease, insisting that the majority of the population has a "parasite", aside from a select few people (Vincent being one of them, and by the end, the only one).

OCD and psychosis have several unique overlaps when acting as comorbid conditions. It has a relatively high comorbidity, due to both conditions often suffering with heightened paranoia. I couldn't find any research which suggests it can cause the hallucination of intrusive thoughts, but OCD does make people more susceptible to hallucinatory disorders, and vice versa.

Many people with OCD, especially those who have experienced symptoms since being a child, start to conceptualise these thoughts as a being - appearing as imaginary friends which act and react negatively. It definitely happened to me - I genuinely thought I had DID for a year or so of my life, because I had this voice in my head that hated me, and it didn't feel like myself. As a child, it just felt like my own mind was trying to bully me, and I didn't understand why.

We know that Scarlett Eyler is the instigator of "punishment" for Charles' actions...

This sort of "punishing" is very reminiscent of OCD. The rule-breaking itself is confusing to an outsiders, and the punishments even more so. However, I find this rule-and-punishment system very relatable, and I'd argue that some people with OCD might have even more confusing rules and punishments - for example, I can't watch very specific youtube videos, I can't explain what the rules I have surrounding them are, and I have strange punishments for this (that which I will not disclose).

Scarlett also doesn't exhibit typical alter behaviour. She never takes over, Charles doesn't seem to lose time, she does little more than act as a harsh observer, and also physically threaten Charles. She seems very real to him, aside from the fact that he knows taking pills will make her "disappear".

For Charles, Scarlett is simply a being who threatens and instigates intrusive thoughts, but in a particular way. Charles still experiences other intrusive thoughts - Scarlett never discusses the parasites, even though that's a very prevalent fear of Charles'.

Scarlett is the manifestation of intrusive thought that Charles is a failure, rather than being a separate existence to Charles.

my little rat analysis lmaoooo. this was my first hello charlotte one, i've always loved charles, he's just peak gender in so many ways, incredibly relatable.

hope your little polycule goes well salutes

#hello charlotte #hc 3 #hello charlotte 3 #charles eyler #hello charlotte analysis #game analysis #actually ocd #etherane #sentience's stuff

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nutal · 17 days

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time to witness part 2 of my school long paragraph essay about my imaginary scenarios that may age as bad as milk bc my blood flows with red bull and xanax (guitarspear and Adam), so here we GOO-

*ahem*

Pretty much, I have no idea how Adam and Lute's relationship started out, but judging by the fact that Adam keeps pushing others away, I'm pretty sure they were rivals before they turned into lovers (enemies to lovers thing, inspiration for this headcanon : "Thanks for the Venom" by @deadgirlwalking91 , it may not be necessary to also show the inspiration but imma show it anyway cause yes uvu)

Basically, I think that before they became lovers and stuff, Lute was like: "U STOOPID NI-" and Adam was just like: "lol get L + ratio'd loser", u get the idea XD

Tho, as time went on, when the two started to get to know each other more personally, Lute realizes she actually really likes Adam, and she's pretty much like: "WOT, I GOT FEELINGS FOR THAT DUMBASS?? THERS NO WAY UnU" cause she isn't used to relationships like Adam + she thinks she hates him with all her heart so she kinda tries to deny it (burning passion lol)

Adam also realizes that he really likes Lute (he's still a love-wanting little dummy), and he also tries to deny it, at first, but then he starts to realize that he actually fell HARD for Lute (bc he a lovey lovey dummy, tho I can't blame him for being like this, he was basically made to reproduce when u think about it, so it explains why he's so lustful). When he realizes this, he kinda starts to panic since denying wasn't really effective anymore, he kinda just has a panic attack, bc he basically vowed to himself to NEVER fall in love again (Lilith and Eve trauma) + he's just like: "DUDE, I HAVE SO MANY FUCKIN HOT MEGA BABES, AND I FELL FOR LUTE OUT OF ALL PEOPLE??? RRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH" + deep inside, he thinks he's worthless, so he basically thinks she's just gonna reject him

Because he realizes that he has hard feeling for Lute, but also thinks that she is automatically gonna reject him, he starts to push her away even more, being more obnoxious and annoying, even being straight up mean to her, like, straight UP mean.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, it somehow didn't work, and Lute just grew more closer to him (if yk one thing about Lute, Lute is a crazy bitch, so she'll just take this all the fricking way), then at one point, he just emotionally breaks down cause his feelings for her were getting too strong (for he also grew closer to Lute somehow), he goes home, takes off his mask and just destroys everything in his room, then ending up just.. crying

Now, here's what I think on how the two confessed to each other:

One day, Lute and Adam would be having an argument, going back and forth and things (context: Lute wanted to have a serious talk with Adam, but then she sees his real face for the first time while he was having another panic attack... and Adam is mortified by it..), it goes like this:

Lute: "I know what's going on, Adam. Don't try to hide it."

Adam: "Pfft, please! YOU don't know S H I T . "

Lute: "You're literally just proving my point, you didn't even ask what it was even about."

Adam: "I- OH GO FUCK OFF MY DICK, YOU FUCKING C*NT! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY ANNOYING ME, YOU KNOW THAT?"

Lute: "WHY DO YOU KEEP PRETENDING THAT THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON WITH YOU?"

Adam: "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!!" (reference: Yuno and Yuki - because I love you, you crazy bitch! meme)

Lute, remains stunned for a moment... did he just.. confess..?

Adam becomes petrified, immediately realizing that he confessed, he wanted to just.. run away from her as far away as possible. But, instead, he just remained still, he couldn't even do anything at that moment, he was on the verge of tears. Then, Adam saw her face go completely golden with blush, he gets confused... why was she blushing?... wasn't she supposed to say something.. or just tell him she doesn't feel the same...? This didn't make any sense for him, but he just stood there.

Lute: "I... love you, too, Adam.."

Now that, THAT was just... he didn't even know how to describe it in words. Sure, he could have chosen to not believe her at all, but because the two grew closer.. he kinda just.. believed her.... just like that. His face becomes golden with blush as well, though he was slightly smiling.

Ever since that day, the two decided to have some kind of an open relationship (not committed, since Adam is still traumatized as hell after what happened with Lilith, ESPECIALLY Eve, who he basically committed to even more, only for her to leave him suddenly without a trace, confessing his love to Lute obviously didn't automatically make his fears go away), and Adam and Lute just enjoyed each other's company xd

sooooo uh ye, this is kinda what I think happened (those r just imaginary scenarios tho), im gonna take another breath now *intensly inhales the oxygen tank*

OKOK YES YES SO TRUE i agree with the idea of them being rivals/being annoyed with each other at first but again I wouldn’t necessarily call that ENEMY territory since it’s not like they’re out to kill each other or something LMFAOAOA also i love Thank You For The Venom so much @deadgirlwalking91 is so damn talented it’s crazy! That fic has definitely shaped a lot of my headcanons for them as well haha

And YES the part of him vowing to never fall in love again but……. then there was Lute and whoops here we go again LMFAO!! And yes, again, this man is so damn insecure and has a fear of rejection n shit so ofc he thinks she’s not gonna reciprocate. And meanwhile Lute is very much in denial, but she loves him just as much.

ALSO THE ARGUMENT CONFESSION? NEEDED. SO SO REAL. And I am a huge believer in Adam having commitment/trust issues but as time goes on Lute pretty much proves her loyalty to him and mends his deep-seated abandonment issues 😭

God, i LOVE guitarspear.

#guitarspear #hazbin hotel

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ravenwolfie97 · 1 year

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okay so initial thoughts on honkai star rail after i played like half of the tutorial bit this morning before work

first off, for the record, i have not played or heard much of anything about honkai impact 3rd and i have only played genshin impact pretty much since launch so my expectations were "genshin but sci-fi fantasy" but i can say that's not quite what i got (here’s a read more if you don’t care lol)

- immediately i notice that the graphics fidelity is gorgeous, very sleek and clean - it startled me a bit but also made me happy that the lip flaps are synced to the english dub! it seemed to flow really well even with the expression changes. the dialogue system doesn't seem all too different from genshin or. any other system like that. but it's got a pretty nice polish on the transitions between different states - the animation in the cutscenes and battles are really good, clearly they had a real talented team working on them. the characters feel so bouncy and expressive and it is pretty darn satisfying - the UI and interactive language is pretty much exactly the same as genshin with a sci-fi coat of paint. that's not a bad thing necessarily but like. it's pretty obvious - so the way combat and elemental powers work is very different from genshin, which frankly i should have expected, given this is a turn-based rpg. and i shouldn't have too much trouble with it, since turn-based rpgs are kind of a staple in my game roster, but for some reason i had trouble connecting with it. obviously finishing the tutorial would help, but it didn't feel as intuitive as i expected elements are presented in more of a traditional jrpg type of way where there are clear weaknesses you can exploit on enemies if you attack with a certain element. idk if i fully mean this but i think it kind of ruins part of the fun of discovering an enemy's weakness when the game itself just. tells you what it is off the bat also the types are weird in that they have pretty static effects in terms of what they do, the variability in moves is probably also explained further in character profiles but i haven't found how to look at that yet bkjljl - i'm fascinated by the ideas of Quantum and Imaginary types. what does that even mean. how do those manifest - i think it was a bit of a bold move to start the game off with two random characters talking about the world as if things are normal and known, and then having them influence your player character into. being in the plot not that i didn't like kafka and silver wolf. in fact i love both of them a lot. but i also had no context and had no goddamn idea what was going on so i was thrown pretty off-guard first thing which isn't exactly the greatest first impression lol - why is she named March 7th. does anyone know. is there a joke lost in translation or is it because she's like a pseudo-mascot character or. what - speaking of march actually i really want to like her but so far her character reeks of "hi i'm a girl". her skill is called "The Power of Cuteness" and one of her abilities is called "Girl Power" and so far her personality is cute, kind, and kinda stupid. it's a bit much. but she's neat - i have no big opinions on dan heng except he's neat and people keep saying he's the kazuha of star rail bc windy maple leaf boys but they're wrong bc dan heng has a stabby not a slicey and he can only hit one person at a time while kazoo thrives on the multi-hit AoE damage - i do love that the MC's weapon is just. a future baseball bat. that they get to smack people really hard with. no element, just big smack - oh yeah hyv loves to queerbait i guess cuz that wasn't CPR honey the twitter crowd wasn't kidding - i can’t think of anything else rn cuz it’s past midnight but star rail is neat and i like the little train rabbit dog mascot it’s cute and i wanna get past the tutorial hkjbjk

#genshin impact #honkai star rail

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 2 months

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hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

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i-did-not-mean-to · 2 months

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Epilogue: Eönwë x Gothmog

Is this a cop-out? Yes...

Let me know your ideas, theories, and your rage because I keep you hanging...

Pairing: Eönwë x Gothmog

Prompt: /

Words: 950

Warnings: Enter Maedhros stage right

Eönwë walked down the narrow, dirty road with the heedless confidence of a sleepwalker.

Was he slowly going insane or had Manwë actually appeared relieved upon hearing how little they’d had discovered during their endless interviews?

There was no shame in honest work, but Eönwë couldn’t shake the sickening sensation of being sent on a wild goose chase by someone he’d trusted to have not only his but everyone’s best interests at heart.

No doubt, Gothmog would have merely smirked at him if he’d confessed his misgivings—he seemed to believe that the thirst for justice was generally quenched surprisingly quickly by a tsunami of self-serving motives, but Eönwë could not yet find it in his heart to be that cynical.

A low whistling sound tore the miserable investigator from his dark thoughts, and he whirled around—hand on his holstered weapon—to find his imaginary councillor, in the flesh, leaning against a grimy wall.

“What did your side say?” Gothmog asked, jerking his head at a broken door a few paces away.

“Not much,” Eönwë confessed. “Yours?”

“Mairon agrees with Finrod’s assessment, but he reiterates that neither he nor Melkor had anything to do with the crime.”

“Do you believe him?”

Gothmog nibbled on his lower lip pensively. On the one hand, he would not have put it past Mairon—ruthless, cruel, and endowed with the darkest sense of humour he’d ever witnessed—to perpetrate such a heinous act if he believed that it would help or protect those he valued most, but, on the other hand, he was also not in the habit of doubting his superiors’ words.

“I am not 100% sure,” he finally admitted. “They did not like Fëanor, but they also didn’t hate him nearly enough to be goaded into…”

“Sheer madness? Reckless, dangerous overkill?” Eönwë supplied in a trembling voice. “I know…”

The nature of the crime—the flair, the drama, the exaggeration—had kept him awake half of the night; every single person they’d met thus far had struck him as inherently suspicious, but none of them seemed the kind of people who’d take the ludicrous risk of killing a man thrice over.

His own boss as well ought to have known better than to stage so elaborate a production, thereby maximising the weak spots and multiplying the chances of leaving treacherous traces and clues.

No, a murderer Manwë might have become—in extremis—but he’d never have lost his mind so.

“I cannot explain it,” he whispered, “but I am almost certain that this was the murderer’s first crime. It feels so unnecessarily artificial and bombastic, and the fact that I’ve not been able to ferret out a single viable suspect doesn’t bode well for my career!”

“If he wasn’t the victim himself,” Gothmog huffed, empathy and clumsy solace shining bright in his flaming eyes, “Fëanor would be my prime suspect.”

Eönwë’s stomach dropped, and the blood drained from his face.

“You are so right,” he whispered, rubbing his forehead dazedly. Something had irked him about this crime from the very beginning—there were too many suspects and not enough motives, it all felt oddly staged, and he couldn’t shake the creeping suspicion that everyone they met was in on a joke of which he was apparently meant to be the proverbial butt.

“It could have been that other brother nobody wants to talk about,” Gothmog interjected hastily, misunderstanding Eönwë’s drastic reaction as dismay or disapproval. “Could you find out anything about that one?”

“He’s Finrod’s father,” Eönwë groaned, giving his partner a weary look. “Fëanor also had a slew of other sons, each one vying to match and surpass their exceptional genitor in different ways.”

“So more questions instead of answers?” Empathy oozed out of every syllable of Gothmog’s muted inquiry. “I don’t think that we’ll get to the bottom of this after all. It—Every lead we find goes nowhere.”

For a long moment, they sat in silence, mulling over the inconclusive and contradictory evidence they had gathered sullenly.

“How about that pasta you’ve talked about? Even if your inquiries hit a dead end, we can still see each other…socially. Can’t we?” Gothmog broke the brooding silence cautiously.

Blanching, Eönwë nodded timidly—he had wondered how he could bring up the same subject for Gothmog’s presence, help, quick wit, and irreverent humour had proven to be the only good, gratifying, happy parts of this miserable business, and he was loath to give them up.

Nonetheless, their utter failure drove him half-insane—when he looked up tentatively, he saw the same light of unsatisfied zeal flare in the other’s eyes.

“We’ve got to bring them all in again,” Eönwë mumbled. “Maybe, if we get them in a room together, something will give.”

“So, we’re now actively encouraging massacre and murder?” Gothmog grinned, visibly amused by that idea.

“No—I…” Before Eönwë could explain what he’d had in mind, his phone chimed.

As soon as he swiped his thumb across the screen to open the message, he grew deadly pale.

“What? What is it?” Forgetting about good manners and cautious behaviour, Gothmog grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him against his broad chest when Eönwë started swaying and shivering alarmingly.

“I was right—this was only the beginning,” Eönwë groaned. “Hearing of his father’s demise, Fëanor’s oldest son has returned to the city.”

“Good,” Gothmog commented carefully. “Maybe we can get something out of him?”

“No, we won’t. He’s been kidnapped, and the family is in uproar.”

Gaping at him open-mouthed, Gothmog turned very serious before his usual, cheering smile returned. “Well, at least you’ll get them all in the same room. Let’s go! My car is just around the corner.”

So, that was the epilogue of this <3

Lots of love from me!

-> Masterlist

#og post #Fanfiction #writing #IDNMT writes #jrrt #Tolkien fanfiction #Masterlist #NSFT #NSFT rarepair bingo #rare pairs #Epilogue #Eönwë x Gothmog #Firebird #Eönwë #Gothmog #Nerdanel

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rin-and-jade · 10 months

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The imposter syndrome is basically just… “you’re faking all of this and imagining it all up for attention.” Blue (our host) has always been imaginative, and never realized that their imaginary friends were actually alters (us). It was only after another system explained that that including the fact that they don’t remember anything from childhood other than a few memories here and there are signs of being a system.

Another thing is that Blue doesn’t remember any trauma that happened other than being bullied and understanding that they never really had friends growing up except for the ones in their head.

It also doesn’t help that they were frontlocked for the longest time and was only recently able to leave the front. They’ve tried a whole bunch of logic to go against the imposter syndrome, but that doesn’t stop them still believing that this is all fake and for attention. We keep reminding them that they would actually know if they’re faking, but they’re still scared that they might be and just not know it.

It’s fun to know that Blue’s trust issues have gotten so bad that they refuse to trust themself and the rest of us.

-Donnie🧪

Ah darn that is a load, sounds hard to deal with already i can see,, i got some factual points to make, hoping that’ll break some barriers in mistrust and skepticism from me—because i get that feeling. Now get on reading as i start with the toppest issue:

Imaginary friend or not?

This one,, if you have an imaginary friend you can imagine as much as you please in terms of character, appearance, and voice.. moreover you get the point. Point is, you actively “act” this imaginary friend, lets say you are upset and then you turn to the imagined friend, pour the feelings out, you would know the things you needed to be comforted and how,, so then you imagine that said friend saying it to you.

For alters, not all of the time they know what you want, nor how you want them to look,, they’re way more autonomous than just something made out of the imaginary and are the ones that does the internal dialogue + commenting without having to ‘focus’ on it. (And yes, it is one of the reasons for memory gaps apart from other comorbid factors that makes it worse such as dissociation)

No memory, no trauma! (Myth)

Do you think you’d be able to function if you remember all the bad things from start to finish (present day) because it is a big NO. Different memories are compartmented by different parts, giving the illusion of no “valid trauma” , especially if those memories are subconsciously suppressed because that is outside the active awareness of being able to be recalled. I promise you all kinds of trauma (even having no friends) is still valid. All the proof you need is defensive physical reactions (jolting from a sudden loud noise for example) and other signs like hyper-vigilance probably, plus the alter stuffs and dissociation going on. So don’t say you need memories as the only proof?

What’s real,, am i faking??

I know you don’t mean anything malicious because no one wants to fake or deliberately get attention and i assure you, you are not,, if you want to fake something you already know what, how, and when you decided to have this disorder and exactly knew every parts and its name you picked, plus knowing it’s exact roles, hobbies, dislikes,, etc. Discovering something ≠ faking. “I would’ve knew if i have this disorder” is also wrong,, sharing concerns/needing some help ≠ wanting attention.

I hope everything that was asked has been assessed here, wishing well it’ll create a new insight to tackle the problems.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #plural #dissociative identity disorder #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

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sophieinwonderland · 10 months

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im confused about personal plurality, feel free to ignore. for a while now ive wanted imaginary friends (although they are all characters in media) out of- i guess- lonliness? not the best reason, i know, but its lead me down a rabbit hole of researching plurality and whatnot. i know i dont have alters or switches or anything, if i try to call out unprompted i get no response. for some reason im so fixated and almost really wishing i had alters to talk to and experience things with, but i dont. the closest i can get to that is imaginary friends, but they feel puppeted, for lack of better words, and arent autonomous. i really want to make myself belief they are, and in a way i think they want to as well, but i have a feeling thats my brain telling me that, aka not an indication of anything.

if talking about my experiences help at all, for a while i went through a process of mimicking systems, aka having the imaginary friends speak to me in thoughts, but it was all voluntary and scripted. a while later i tried a different method of mentally visualizing these imaginary friends in the same room as me, and sometimes theyd "share" my body, and id pretty much only be the one in control, and theyd just talk to me. again, its not switching or anything, i dont have sudden memory gaps, although my memory of stuff is consistently foggy, ranging from earlier that day to multiple years ago- kinda maybe about a 35% chance ill forget something every time, and the number climbs the longer its been.

with the imaginary friends themselves, its a rough explaination. again, they come from any fictional media i fixate on, but my fixations change nearly weekly, so its never consistent with who it is. i am a copinglinker who links witb these fixations as well, so its a 50/50 of if i want to personally identify as the character, or if they are an imaginary friend. again, conversation is prompted and feels very short, because i think in the back of my mind i know im directing the entire conversation, instead of talking to a seperate person. i want to believe so bad the conversations and opinions are real, but i dont think they are. whenever i ask them if they think theyre autonomous, its either "i dont know" to "yeah, why?" but i feel those answers are fabricated to. i dont know, maybe i just sort through thoughts through characters.

sorry, im rambling. i dont know if this is the right place to go, ans im genuinely hoping none of this is offensive. again, im 99.9% sure im not plural, but i feel /something/ in the back of my mind if i focus hard enough, but then again, it might be confirmation bias or something, i donr know.

if you have any thoughts or advice, please share. this has been plaguing me for nearly a year now and im not sure what to do with the information or how to interpret it. thank you.

Are your imaginary friends actually puppeted, or do they just feel puppeted? Because these aren't the same things.

In tulpamancy, there exists what's known as parroting, where you consciously talk for your tulpa and control their speech. Conversely, there's parrotnoia. This is the fear that you're controlling your headmate even when you aren't.

But if you aren't consciously doing it, it's not parroting.

If you haven't yet, you should check out my article on how to know if your imaginary friend is sentient:

I'll also add that switches feel differently for different systems. For us, it's often like something external is entering the body. But to some systems, it can feel like you're becoming somebody else.

Switching also doesn't usually have amnesia unless you have DID. (Although, if you do have DID, it can be hard to recognize if you have amnesia because... you know... you forget. But don't worry about that right now.)

But it's also normal for some systems to only partially switch, co-front, or just be co-conscious.

If you want them to be more real and developed though, I'd recommend sticking with a few over time. Cycling between proto-headmates every couple weeks means none will get the full development they deserve.

#tulpa #tulpamancy #imaginary friends #imaginary friend #pluralgang #plural #plurality #endogenic #multiplicity #system #systems #plural system #endogenic system #system stuff #endo safe #pro endo #pro endogenic #sysblr

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 4 months

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Remus hated Sirius. He hated his stupid untamed hair. He hated his stupid crooked teeth. He hated his scandalous laughter. His colorless eyes. His uneven face. His grotesque nose. His horrible self. Remus hated Sirius Black. How he played with girls. How he thought he was better than everyone else. How he went around making fun of people. How he thought he was better than love. How rich, important and popular he was.

"Yeh don' believe that for a second, darling"

Great. Remus knew this Grant was imaginary because 1) He couldn't be here at Hogwarts in the middle of Sirius’s birthday party, 2) Remus had tried calling him and he didn't pick up, 3) He had read his thoughts, and 4) Remus was pretty drunk. And Remus knew the Grant from his head was even more sassy than the real one.

"Get out of my head, will you?"

Imaginary Grant laughed. "Yeh are callin' meh with yer imagination, darling. This is yer head"

"Fuck off" Remus took a drag from the bottle he was holding.

"I'll tell ya why yeh think about meh" Grant added "Yeh miss me, don't ya?"

"Shut up!"

Remus drank even more.

Grant shrugged with a smile. Remus's eyes filled with tears. Because it wasn't fair. This Grant was not real. Remus needed the real one. Not the fake one. He felt so lonely now..

"Why don't you pick up my calls? Don't you think I might need you?"

Remus sounded angrier than he intended.

"I might be busy, who knows? I'm only a product of yer imagination"

"Have you forgotten about me already?" Remus cried. He was hiding from his friends. From him. From everyone. He didn't know how he looked like for people that were passing by. If he was actually speaking alone or this was happening on his mind. He didn't care.

Imaginary Grant faced him."How can I forget about yeh, darling! I must be bunkers to even try"

It sounded like something Grant would say. The real one.

"Yeh're all I have in my head" he added "Yeh an' our beautiful summer together"

Remus smiled through tears. Because he remembered as well. Well, if this was his mind, Imaginary Grant made him remember. Grant's little room. The parties. The adrenaline. The fun they had together. The feeling of being young and very alive. The rap and hip hop music. How Grant sang it at the top of his lungs. The stolen kisses. The passionate kisses. The snogging sessions. The gentle touches. Sleeping on the same bed. The promises of running away together.

That warm smile. The same Imaginary Grant was giving him now. With crooked teeth and all. How Remus wished he was real. He might have wanted to kiss him.

"I miss you" Remus cried again "You said it would be easy. That I had to come back here. That I had to face him"

"And so yeh did" Grant raised his eyebrows "Yeh did more than face him"

Thinking about his moments with Sirius made Remus feel pain. And he didn't want to feel that.

"I don't want to talk about him"

Grant smiled "All yeh want to do was talk about him. That's why yeh brought meh here, yeah? Yeh want someone to talk to"

Remus shook his head.

"Yeh lov'im!"

Remus was furious now. Because he remembered this wasn't Grant saying this. It was his own mind. And he hated to admit it.

"Sirius..." No, better not say his name "He hurt me... He was using me all along. I'm so stupid! I was just a game for him. Just like the rest of the girls he's been with"

"Posh closeted blokes..." Grant tutted. Remus chuckled because that was exactly how Grant would say it.

"Are you going to say: 'I told you so'?"

Grant shook his head "It's not done. Not over, luv"

Remus sighed "I just saw him kissing another girl, then he told me I was a mistake... I don't have to explain anything to you. You know it. You are in my head"

"Do yeh think everythin' yeh lived with him was a lie?" Grant asked "All the kisses. All the moments. All the words. All the looks. The way he looks at yeh. He smiles at ya"

Remus closed his eyes, trying to shake those memories away. This was his own mind telling him stupid shit anyway.

"You are not real"

"What's real is yer luv for him".

"Go away if you are going to be on his side"

Remus was alone now. Grant didn't reply. So Remus thought he was gone. But when he opened his eyes, Imaginary Grant was there. Smirking at him. God, Remus's mind was powerful when he was drunk.

"Bloody hell! How much yeh miss meh!" Grant giggled. That laughter that was like a little kid.

"Of course I miss you" Remus confirmed, looking at Grant. He looked so real. But at the same time translucent under the light. "Why couldn't I fall in love with you instead, eh Grant? You are perfect. And you would never hurt me. Not like him"

Remus reckoned he would never dare to say anything like this to the real Grant. But hell, he was drunk. And this was all inside his head. So it didn't matter. Remus wanted to feel good. Like Grant made him feel. Not miserable like Sirius made him feel.

"You're perfect, Grant. Why isn't it you?"

Grant gave him a sweet smile understandingly.

"Because darling... The reason does not pick up who we luv, it's the heart who does. And the heart is a bit of an tosser if yeh ask meh"

Remus giggled. His eyes filled with tears again.

"You are right..." Remus said, leaning his head back on the wall "I love him. And I don't think I can ever stop...." Remus could feel his cheeks wet from his lament "He has my heart. He has my soul. Even if he hurts me. I will love him like a fool" Remus let out a sob and closed his eyes.

It was the truth. Remus loved Sirius. He loved his beautiful gorgeous hair. He loved his perfect white teeth. He loved his overwhelming laughter. His gray eyes full of color like a deep ocean. His symmetrical face. His runny adorable nose. His beautiful self.

Remus loved Sirius Black. How he had eyes only for Remus. How he cared about others and thought he was like everyone else. How he went around helping people. How he had the strong capacity to love. How it didn't matter how rich and important or popular he was, Sirius was more than what they believed.

"That's what I wanted yeh to admit, darling" Remus heard Grant's soft giggle.

When Remus opened his eyes, Imaginary Grant was gone. Only the ghost of his smile was left.

"No..." Remus begged "Come back! I need you... Come back! I love you! I love you!"

When Imaginary Grant didn't respond like the real one, Remus broke down crying again, covering his eyes in the process. He was a mess. He was pathetic.

"Remus... Remus..." a voice called him.

"Grant?" Remus asked uncovering his face. But it was not Grant.

"Just Emmeline, mate" the girl was smiling at him with pity.

"Are you okay?"

Remus thought how she was amazing as well. If he could only be into girls, they could have had a wonderful thing as well. But he was gay. And Remus was only into Sirius. Sirius, the twat.

"Who is Grant?" Emmeline added with a worried voice.

"No one" Remus answered wiping his tears away "I'm okay. Just a bit drunk"

Emmeline smiled "Is it because of the birthday boy? Let me guess. You told him how you felt and he doesn't feel the same"

Emmeline had been supportive. Even if Remus broke her heart. Because of Sirius again. But Remus never told her that Sirius and him had been snogging. Remus had been keeping the secret. For the rest of the world, Sirius was the perfect straight boy.

"Something like that" Remus answered.

Emmeline kissed his cheek "I'm sorry"

Remus shrugged. He didn't want her to feel pity for him.

"Being rejected by the person you fancy sucks" Emmeline said now with a smile. It was ironic that Remus had hurt her the same way Sirius did. But no. Remus didn't make her believe something might happen between them. Sirius had been simply cruel.

"But don't worry. You'll get over it. Trust me"

Remus smiled trying to look apologetic.

"You know what would help?" Emmeline asked. "Dancing. Come on, lover boy dance with me"

"No... No... No..." Remus protested "I don't feel like it"

"Do you honestly want him to see you like this?" Emmeline asked "He needs to see you are okay. You need to show him he has no power over you" Remus blinked at her. "Even if it is a lie" Emmeline added, grabbing Remus's arm "Come on, wanker. Let's show him what he is missing"

Emmeline's smile was contagious this time, so Remus smiled back. Why not dance with her? He could not be moping for Sirius forever, right?

It could be alright. Remus thought as he walked with Emmeline to the dance floor. Remus had managed to get the attention of Grant and Emmeline. He could find another bloke that would make him forget about Sirius for once and for all. He had to forget about Sirius Black.

What he didn't know was that the Sirius Black in question was observing him dancing with Emmeline and feeling miserable. Because everything that he had said had been a lie. Because Sirius loved him back. So dearly and so much it was scary. But he was a coward. He was scared to admit it just yet. Sirius needed his time. Would Remus wait for him to be ready? Or did he deserve someone better? Maybe Remus deserve someone better. Even if it broke Sirius’s heart.

#I kind of like the idea of Imaginary Grant giving Remus advice #It is kind of Remus struggling with his own mind after all #marauders #maraudersera #muggleau #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #grant chapman #imaginary grant #emmeline vance #Remus x Grant

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studentbyday · 10 months

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day 57-58 // 100dop

monday: so this week is an intro to organic reactions and i am SO glad that organic chem is a notoriously difficult subject so you have LOTS of explanations available online and in particular, i'm loving @thecrashcourse's organic chemistry series (really, crash course puts me in the mood to study when nothing else can XD), and just bc I don't get the book or prof's explanations doesn't mean the prof is bad or the book is bad or that i'm an idiot, sometimes we just need a different way of explaining for us to get it and that's completely fine. 🙂

tuesday: i must've gone insane bc i just signed myself up to take 4 courses this fall...how am i already feeling overwhelmed XD the most i've taken in a semester is 3 courses and that was tough, i couldn't do anything else except study - idk, maybe i've smartened up in terms of study skills since then and i can take this load and get A+ in all of them (can you tell how bad my perfectionism is? 😖😅 ...yet i'm hesitant to let it go entirely bc i could also just not try and then not learn much of anything and then what am i spending this money for, going to university????)???? i highly doubt that my study skills have improved much tho 😅😅😅😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of those courses is calculus and i have NOT touched that since high school and i barely remember precalc so aaaaahhhhhhhh - i'm hoping to get through some khan academy videos/questions on the topic before September (taking calculus was kind of a last minute decision 😑), starting with "getting ready for precalculus" (i finished a few practice quizzes on polynomials today) because their ACTUAL precalculus section looks scary and unfamiliar (nggghhh how am i gonna do thisss?). also really confused about complex numbers and imaginary numbers and i found a video on it by 3b1b, i'm still watching it (it's an hour and 22 mins long) and i looove how calm i feel when being guided through a specific topic that's confusing me instead of just...feeling overwhelmed by the complexity and the immense info dump in my university courses... finished 2 sections of chem notes, got 2 more left to do...1 of them is really big but i was able to read through the rest of the chapter today (thank God they're not going THAT deep with organic reactions, else i would go crazy) and i seem to understand it, so that shouldn't be TOO much of a problem (i just have to read and think slower than i'd like with these things...)

update: i just counted the max number of hours per day i would spend studying based on the recommended hours per week for each course... that's 10 hours of focused studying. i don't think i've ever focused 100% for that long???? (in the past, I've always gone over...and i think it's bc my focus starts waning pretty quickly but I never realize it until I've snapped back to reality and start really studying again 🙄 smh, i gotta do better than that if i don't wanna have to drop)

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animefu · 7 months

Text

Pokémon Horizons - The Sudden Turn (Part 3)

Characters: Amethio, Friede, Liko, Roy, Orla, Molly, Dot, Murdock

Pokémon: Sprigatito, Corviknight, Charizard, Cap, Quaxly

After a while, it was already the next day, Amethio gradually woke up again. He hadn't really been able, to sleep after all, as he had originally hoped. The teen was still too preoccupied with yesterday's incident. He still couldn't believe, that Spinel had actually been so ruthless and had intentionally injured Liko so badly, just so he could get his hands on her pendant. Although, he had already said it right into his rival's face before, he still couldn't cope with the thought. It was just too terrible.

Amethio would definitely do something, to stop this bastard, from getting away with this. The teenager was definitely sure about that! Without any doubts or concerns!!

But first he stretched himself extensively, before looking at Liko to his left. The young girl was laying peacefully next to him, still sleeping. Sprigatito on the other hand was now also awake and calmly licked its paws.

This scene made Amethio smile slightly and he watched the two of them for a while, before deciding, to wake Liko up. So he very carefully crawled closer to her and shook her shoulder a little, because he didn't want to scare her in any way.

At some point the girl finally moved and opened her eyes with some difficulty. Her head was pounding, her vision blurry and at first she didn't know, where she was or what exactly had happened. Then she finally managed, to make out her surroundings. It seemed like, she was in a cave. But how did she get here? She was actually on her way to her grandmother with Roy and Friede to find out more about her pendant.

Liko continued, to look around and then suddenly spotted Amethio, who was sitting next to her, unusually calm and yes, strangely enough, a little worried. What the hell was going on here? Instinctively, her hand reached for her pendant and she stood up abruptly, to disappear as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, not very wise, because she was still dizzy and quickly lost her balance again.

However, Amethio reacted quick enough and stopped her fall with both of his arms, so that the Pokémon Trainer crashed right into his chest. But she quickly pushed the Explorer Admin away from her again and just looked at him with wide eyes, unable, to say anything at the moment.

So initially there was an inconsequential silence between both parties. Then Amethio finally spoke up. "Seems like, you're finally awake. How do you feel?" That was the first thing, the teenager said. However, it only caused more imaginary question marks for the still confused girl.

Then everything literally came pouring out of her. "What is going on here?! Why am I here?! Where is Sprigatito?! And why did you bring me here, why does my head hurt so much and..." Liko was so confused, that sometimes she didn't even know, what she was actually saying.

Then she suddenly contorted her face in pain and now also noticed, that there was a bandage tied around her stomach, just like around her leg.

At some point, however, Amethio grabbed both of her shoulders, to bring her out of her already somewhat hectic flow of speech. "Hey, hey, now calm down!! You're injured, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend, that you completely freak out right now." He took a short, deep breath, before continuing.

"I'll explain everything to you in detail, but only, if you calm down first and listen to me, please!!" he said in a firm voice, looking intently into her eyes.

Now Liko was even more perplexed, but she still followed his instructions and breathed in and out a few times. As her nerves calmed down a bit, she looked back at Amethio again.

"Ok, then explain that to me! What have you done to me? Why are we in this cave? And where on earth did these bandages come from?"

Amethio wasn't particularly surprised, that she was so upset. "I see... So you really don't remember, what happened?" he asked.

"Of course not, I want to know this from you, Amethio!" she demanded with his name on her lips and took Sprigatito on her lap, when she had now discovered her partner next to her, awaiting his response.

The person addressed ran his hands through his hair, sighing. "Oh man, where do I start?" Now Amethio began, to explain everything to her.

First the fact, that he had continued, to pursue her and her friends because of her pendant, then suddenly noticing his rival Spinel, who had separated Liko from her friends and finally the fact, that he had found her so extremely injured near that cliff including, that Spinel was responsible for the whole thing. And of course also, that Amethio had brought her out of danger and then treated her injuries, after fleeing with her into this cave, to be protected from the storm.

After he finished talking, Liko first had to put everything in order. "Ok, just so I understand this correctly... You stood up to that Spinel to protect me and then fled into that cave with me?" she asked and rubbed her head, because it was still stinging a little.

"Just like I said. I know, that this is all a little much for you right now. But you have to believe me, the moment, I saw you lying near that cliff, seriously injured, unconscious... I just didn't think any further at that moment and then just flew away with you, so that Spinel couldn't hurt you even worse. This... I just couldn't allow it..."

"Then... So was that you too with the bandages and everything? Are you really telling the truth?" Liko asked, still a little sceptical.

The person being addressed sighed and then nodded afterwards. "You don't have to believe me, really, but I assure you, everything is true, just as I told you." Amethio said once again.

"Ok, and... What do you plan to do now? After all, neither of us can stay here forever. And besides... Why are you suddenly so nice to me? How am I supposed to know, that you're just faking it all, to steal my pendant and then just leave me here afterwards?! Please give me one single reason, why i should really believe you!"

Amethio just looked at her. "I'm aware of that. But you have to believe me, I would never just take advantage of your situation like that! To be honest... I don't even know anymore, whether this is all happening properly..." he murmured and now became a bit uptight.

The black-haired girl listened carefully to every word spoken. "And what is that supossed to mean? Are you trying, to get yourself out of the affair, by claiming, that you don't want to work for the Explorers at all, just to look good in front of your boss later?! Are you seriously expecting me, to buy this from you?! You're crazy!" Now she was starting, to get very, very angry.

Amethio grabbed her shoulders again. "My God, can we just leave it like that for now?! That's all, I can tell you at that moment, Liko! What's more important now is, what you exactly can remember, before you were no longer conscious."

Instinctively, the girl wanted to ask the teen, how he knew her name, but then brushed off this thought quickly. Instead, she answered to his question:

"All right, I believe you now. Kinda... However... I still don't really understand, why you protected me and then saved me. You could have left me to my own devices and run off with my pendant. Except you didn't do that... You're acting completely different... Normally you would follow me and my friends to God knows where, just that you could get your hands on my pendant. But right now... I've never seen you like this... So why this sudden change of heart? I just want to understand, Amethio! That's all!"

Just another sigh from the teen. "That wasn't the answer to my question. First tell me, what exactly you can remember before the incident. Only then will I give you my answers, I swear." he replied and now waited for the girl's actual answer.

"Hghh... Yeah, ok, you won. I was on the way to my grandmother with Friede and Roy, when suddenly Sprigatito just jumped out of my arms and ran deeper into the forest. Of course I followed it, because I wanted to know, why it was suddenly acting so strangely. And when I finally found it... I then saw these strange Pokémon tracks. Of course I immediately wanted to call Friede, because I just ran away without letting them know. Then this Spinel guy came out of the shadows and wanted me to hand over my pendant to him. Of course I refused, whereupon his Umbreon then attacked us out of nowhere, I didn't even know, what happened at that moment. Sprigatito tried to defend me, but... Then suddenly everything went black. Well and you've probably seen the rest then. " Liko then ended.

"That's exactly, how it is." Amethio confirmed his previous statements again. "But now... You should go back to your friends. They're already probably looking for you like crazy." he said next now, standing up. Then he held out a hand to the girl. "Come on, I'll help you up." he offered, but Liko waved him away.

"No thanks. I can do it myself." the girl said and stood up demonstratively, but she was still not completely fit and hissed in pain, as she stepped on her injured leg.

Luckily, Amethio immediately supported her again and draped her arm across his shoulders, while he wrapped his other arm around her waist. This gave Liko a little more stability. "Wow, not so fast. There is no way, you can walk all by yourself in this current state. I'll take you to your friends." he said and took one of his Pokéballs out of his left pocket. "Corviknight!" As the Crow Pokémon appeared in front of the two, Amethio quickly put his attention back to Liko, who he was still supporting.

After he led the injured girl out of the cave, Amethio sat on its back and helped Liko onto his Pokémon right after, so that she was sitting in front of him. “Hold on tight, it’s actually not used, to carrying two people at the same time.” he explained.

The young Pokémon Trainer seemed unsure at first, but then finally nodded. Of course she took Sprigatito in her arms as well, so that it wouldn't be accidentally left behind. Shortly afterwards, the Crow Pokémon took off into the skies.

Liko stayed quiet at first, but then the silence became a little too awkward for her. "I was wondering... If we really fly to Friede and the others... What do you want to tell them? They will definitely think, that you kidnapped me and kept me in this cave against my will." she murmured at some point.

Amethio, who continued to look straight ahead despite her question in order to concentrate, finally answered her. "I've already thought of that. First try to reach Friede and tell him, to send his coordinates. This may give us a better chance of locating him and your other friends more easily. Then you can explain everything to them in more detail afterwards." he said, while he kept his focus on the correct direction of flight.

Liko only sighed, but then took her Rotom phone out of her jacket pocket. After it beeped a few times, someone finally picked up. "Yes, Friede? No, no, I'm fine, I wasn't kidnapped. Yes, I'll explain everything to you then, but could you send me your location first? No, it's not necessary. Of course. I promise, I'll get there straight away. Yes, that's good. See you later." After she hung up, she looked back at Amethio.

He also looked at her. "How's it going?" he asked. "He sent me his coordinates. He should be back on the Brave Asagi with Roy by now." Liko replied. The teen then nodded understandably.

"Okay, then we'll heading there now. Just hold on tight." he said and gave Corviknight a quick pat, whereupon the Pokémon made a croak and headed straight in that direction.

~~~

Meanwhile, the rest of the Rising Volt Tacklers waited impatiently for Liko's arrival. Friede was standing at the bottom of the airships plank, nervously tapping his foot up and down. Roy stood next to him, looking at him in slight worry. "Don't worry, Friede. She'll definitely show up any minute." he tried to calm him down a bit.

"It's easy for you to talk, Roy..." Friede just mumbled and continued, to look around impatiently. It was simply normal for him, to worry about, whether Liko was really okay. After all, she was like his own daughter for him.

At some point, however, Roy discovered a dark spot in the sky. "Hey, look up there! Isn't that..." Friede looked at him slightly confused and then also looked in that direction, as the spot seemed, to get closer and closer.

"No way... !! Charizard!!" He reacted, as if by reflex and summoned the Flame Pokémon directly from its Pokéball.

Roy blinked in confusion and looked back at the point, as he finally understood, why Friede was suddenly acting like that. A Corviknight landed right in front of them with a person, who was unfortunately all too familiar to both Trainers.

Both immediately felt their suspicions confirmed, when Amethio got off the Pokémons back and then helped a second person down shortly afterwards as well.

Friede thought, he couldn't believe his eyes. "Liko?! But how...?!" He was about to order Charizard to attack, but was suddenly stopped by Liko. "Wait!! Don't attack him!!" she shouted and stepped in front of Amethio with her arms wide, despite her bent leg, since she still couldn't stand on it properly.

This statement only made the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers even more puzzled. "But... He suddenly shows up here with you, what does this all mean?!" At that moment he didn't understood, what was going on at all. But now the adult's gaze fell on Liko's bandages around her stomach and left leg.

"What in God's name happened to you? And what does Amethio have to do with all of this?!" he asked the next question.

Slowly all these piercing questions became too much for the girl. "Arceus, can we all just calm down first?!! Me and Amethio..." she briefly pointed to herself and then to the person mentioned. "We'll tell you everything in detail, but let's go inside, because even I can't stand for that long!" she snorted, slightly annoyed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Amethio listened to the little discussion with one ear, but preferred, to stay in the background for now.

Friede scratched his neck, but then finally gave in. "Allright, I get it. Then let's go in first. Molly can take another look at your injuries there." he said and briefly looked at the Explorer Admin, who was now standing next to the black-haired. It could be, that he valued him as a worthy opponent in battle. And that he would normally never trust Amethio to do something, like actually kidnapping Liko, just to get her pendant that way. But the fact, that he almost casually appeared with Liko in tow was suspicious, even to Friede.

"Finally." Liko spoke up again, breaking the silence and was about to start walking, but whimpered in pain, as she, once again unfortunately, put weight on her injured leg.

Amethio instinctively wanted to give her a hand again, although he didn't really know why, but then still preferred, to better step back, as Friede came to the young Pokémon Trainer's side, instead of him.

He let out another sigh. 'It's probably better this way... At least for now...' he heard his thoughts speaking again, so he stayed quiet. As he stood there a bit awkwardly at first, he quickly was approached by his other 'rival':

"Hey, if you don't want to spend the night out here, you should come in with us. Not that you're going to get sick." the white-haired man simply said to him and then went with Liko, who was leaning on him, onto the ship and into the meeting room. Beforehand, he dropped the girl off at Molly's, so that she could take a closer look at her injuries, as he mentioned earlier.

Amethio continued, to stand there silently and briefly looked down at Roy. "Is he always so... sarcastic?" Roy looked at him briefly. "You have no idea... Now come on." he said and now went onto the ship as well. Amethio just sighed again and recalled Corviknight, before simply walking after the boy.

~~~

After everyone had gone into the meeting room, all eyes almost automatically turned to the black and silver-haired. After all, it wasn't exactly an everyday occurrence for the crew, to have a member of the Explorers on board.

Thankfully, Amethio had given Liko good enough initial care, so that no further measures were necessary for the time being. So the black-haired girl quickly rejoined the rest of the group, but deliberately positioned herself next to the teen. After all, she was the only one, who could explain the situation the best, the current one and the previous one.

Friede was now back in the room as well and so it was him, who directly asked the first question:

"Ok and now everything from the beginning again, Liko. How come, Amethio suddenly shows up with you? I... I just don't really understand it."

Cap, who was sitting on his shoulder, made a sound of agreement. Apparently he also wanted to know all the details. Which of course was all too understandable. "Pika."

Liko looked briefly at Amethio, then back at Friede. Then she basically told her friends the same thing, that she had told Amethio and what he told her before as well. After she finished, she looked into dozens of shocked faces.

"Arceus... I knew right away, that you wouldn't just disappear like that." Roy interjected immediately, whereupon the rest nodded in agreement.

"I was convinced of that from the start, after what Friede told me. But to get back to the topic... Why are you showing up here with Amethio of all people?" Dot now asked next.

Now it was Amethio himself, who spoke up after a while:

"Listen, I'm well aware that, you don't want to believe me. And I don't even expect that from you. After all, I've already caused you a lot of trouble. But this time... I... I didn't really know, what motivated me to help Liko myself." he gulped shortly, before continuing.

"But... After I saw her lying so badly wounded near that cliff... And then Spinel, who coldly admitted this terrible act without a hint of compassion... And then almost took Liko with him, probably to use worse methods to get her pendant and finding out its secrets... I really didn't know, what had come over me at that moment!! I just got her out of that situation out of pure instinct and then hid with her in that cave... I can't say anything more about it at the moment, as much as I would like to..." he finished and looked at everyone quite uncertainly.

The teenager then glanced sideways at Liko. She immediately interpreted his gaze and now looked at everyone else again. "Listen up, guys... I ask you all... Amethio told me on the way here, that... He is no longer sure, whether the matter with my pendant is the right thing to do. That's why... I would like us, to support him together, to get away from the Explorers... I think... He has good potential, to become one of us."

This statement only caused disbelief and even bewilderment on the faces of everyone present. Did they just get that right?!

"Wow, wow, wow, hold on a second! Are you serious right now?!! You want to make him one of us? For him to switch to the good side?! Is this supposed to be a joke or something?" Dot couldn't believe her ears. Same was true to Quaxly. "Kwua!"

Despite the objections, Liko still tried, to somehow convince her friends. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but hear me out. In my opinion, Amethio is under a lot of pressure. He's still very young after all, and... That's why I don't think, he's a member of the Explorers of his own free will. Maybe... Someone from the organization is forcing him, to work for him or her. I just feel it! So please, everyone... Please support me with my idea!!" the girl now pleaded and made a corresponding bow.

Some still seemed skeptical. "Well, I don't really know, Liko..." Orla mumbled and didn't seem, to be quite so convinced. So did Murdock and Molly, apparently.

Now it was Friede again, who scratched his chin thoughtfully. "If you look at it closely... Your arguments aren't that far-fetched, if I'm being honest..." he said, whereupon he received incredulous looks from his comrades.

"Um, excuse me, Mister 'Pokémon Professor'! Have you already forgotten all the tricky situations, we've been in because of him over there?" Apparently Molly didn't entirely agree with his kind of valid argument and pointed exactly in Amethio's direction, as she spoke.

"Ehem, I don't know, if you noticed it by now, but this 'him' also happens, to have a name and can hear you clearly!" it know came from Amethio, as he cleared his throat and you could tell, that he was a bit annoyed by the sound of his voice.

Friede just sighed slightly strained and stopped the little argument between the two pretty quickly. "Alright, that's enough now. And again, you know exactly, how much I hate it, being called Professor, Molly... But to get back to your point. No, of course I have NOT forgotten, what we've been through, because of Amethio. But if it's really true, what Liko just told us... Couldn't we just see for ourselves and check, if there's really anything to what she said?"

These words made the black-haired listen up. "Then does that mean... you're really giving him a chance?" Liko's eyes lit up slightly with hope, as she looked into those of her friends.

They looked at each other hesitantly for a moment, but finally sighed. Now was definitely not a good time, to start a discussion with Liko right now. And especially not, when Amethio was there at the moment as well. "As stubborn as you are here, we hardly have any other choice, do we?" Murdock said, smiling somewhat teasing towards the spoken one, however, she did not respond further.

The girl now finally looked at Molly and Orla. They also sighed and then nodded, albeit a little hesitantly. "All right, we believe you. And... Even though, we really hate, to do it... We'll give Amethio a chance. But that doesn't mean, we'll trust him right away." they both said almost in sync.

"Thank you, really." she said and looked briefly at Amethio, who was still standing uncertainly next to her. "See? I told you, I would help you." Liko smiled slightly at the young Explorer Admin and gently touched his shoulder.

He still seemed a little nervous, but then showed a timid smile, albeit a little hesitantly. "Thank you... That... That's really nice of you. Although I caused you a lot of trouble and for you as well." he said, still a little unsure, while looking at the others, especially Friede.

"And... For that... I really want to sincerely apologize to you... What I've done to you so far, really wasn't right. I'm so ashamed of this now... Please, you just have to believe me... I... I'll make it up to you... Somehow... You have my word." To support his statement, the teenager made a brief bow to everyone present.

Friede now stretched himself and rose from his seat. "Well then, I think that's enough for today. It's been an rough enough day for all of us. And... I have to thank you, Amethio... Even though I hate to admit it... For finding Liko and immediately helping her... Oh yes... And for bringing her back home as well..." the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers said and stepped forward, holding out a hand to his 'rival'. "I am in your debt."

Amethio initially looked at his hand a little skeptically, but then finally shock it lightly. "No problem." he just responded quietly and then took a step back. He probably had to get used to the situation first.

"Well, then we should slowly go to sleep, it's pretty late by know. But first we should eat something, because it's not particularly easy, to sleep on an empty stomach. I speak from experience..." Roy now said.

Dot rolled her eyes slightly at his last words. "Thank you very much, Roy. That's, what we all wanted to hear." she said with a pretty obviously ironic tone and adjusted her sweater a little.

Murdock chuckled softly. Then he stood up and put both hands on his hips. "Anyway, I'll take care of the food then. It'll blow your mind!" he said with a broad grin and shortly afterwards disappeared towards the kitchen.

~~~

Meanwhile, the rest prepared the table, putting out cutlery and dishes. Shortly afterwards everyone took a seat and Amethio sat next to Liko. Which in principle was only logical, since Ludlow was fishing most of the day anyway and as a result, there was almost always an empty chair available.

So while everyone was waiting for dinner to be on the table, some decided to ask Amethio a few questions. After all, he already said before, or rather Liko, that he basically didn't want to work for the Explorers at all. Or at least, not anymore. Basically how you interpreted it.

"So... How did you come, to be part of a large organization of villains anyways?" Roy asked first. "Because to me you don't seem particularly evil enough, to be in such a position. At least not according to your age." he added.

The silver and black-haired teen just looked at him uncertainly. Great, just the very first question and he was already overwhelmed. Really a great start. "Well..." Amethio bit his bottom lip slightly and kneaded his fingers under the tabletop. Hopefully unnoticed by the rest of the team. At least he hoped so.

Liko, on the other hand, quickly noticed his tension and gently placed one of her hands on one of his. "If it's too much for you, we can put the question aside for now and start with something easier instead." she suggested and smiled slightly encouraging at him, whereupon the teen just gave a slight nod from himself.

"Then... How old are you actually?" Friede asked. The young teenager definitely liked this question better. At least so far. "I'm 16." Amethio answered. The leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers put his thumb and index finger on his chin, while his rival gave his answer, as if he had already expected this.

"Hah, I knew it!! Then my guess wasn't that far-fetched after all." he said, giving off a slightly triumphant expression, which was unfortunately all too typical of him. Amethio just slightly rolled his eyes and his face switched, once again, into a relative annoyed expression, while his left eyebrow was slightly twitching as well. "Tch... Whatever." he grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Ok, then how about this? What can you tell us about your past? What was your childhood like? And how was or is your relationship with your parents? And the most important thing is, how did you end up, being part of the Explorers after all?" Liko now tried her luck with something similar, to what Roy had asked him previously. She was still firmly convinced about the fact, that Amethio didn't work for the Explorers voluntarily. He just had to be under a lot of pressure! She simply couldn't find any other explanations at the moment. Plus she really couldn't imagine, that the black and silver-haired was particularly evil. There had to be something slumbering deep inside of him, wich was never, ever seen by anyone before.

Amethio suddenly jumped at her words. In a way, the teen kinda had already expected these specific questions. And yet he was anything, but prepared for it. Even, if it was actually unintentional on her part, Liko had hit a sore spot in him.

"You know... Actually... I don't really like, talking about my past itself... It's... Let's say... Complicated..." he said very cautiously. It was clear to see in his face, that Amethio didn't talked much, or at least rarely, about his past in general.

"But on the other hand... I would like, to finally open up to someone... Who won't judge me, because of it... Unfortunately, I've already had some very unpleasant experiences with that..." he then said.

Liko looked at him somewhat compassionate. "Oh I see... If you don't want to talk about it then..." she began, but quickly was interrupted by the teen again:

"No, no, it's fine, really! I finally want to talk about it. But the thing is, that I haven't open up myself to anyone before. It was or rather 'is' extremely difficult. Not even Zir and Conia know anything personal about me. Only, that I have Corviknight and Ceruledge and that's basically it." he continued. "Up until now, I've simply repressed the idea, of ever talking about my past again." the young boy added lastly.

"Mhh, I see... The way you just put it, your childhood and the time afterwards seem to have been anything, but harmonious." Orla now spoke up, whereupon Amethio just nodded again. "You aren't quite wrong with it..." he mumbled.

Now, for the very first time, a completely new, previously unknown side of the young Explorer Admin was recognized. Usually Amethio was always calm and collected... Had never shown a lot of different emotions before, such as joy, sadness or despair, with mostly anger and the feel of disrespect being the only, two exceptions. But right now? They never seen him like this ever before, not even Friede.

After a good while, in which there was again a very uncomfortable silence, Liko now started speaking to the young teen once more:

"You know... I can understand you... I certainly wouldn't feel any different. But maybe... It would just be easier for you, if you talk about it especially right now. Plus, since you saved me from certain death." the black-haired brought up as a reminder, encouraging and trying, to give Amethio a sort of feeling of trust and some security as well.

Amethio then looked at her again, his eyes still showing concern and uncertainty. But actually there was simply something in her words. 'She's right... You can't run away from your past forever! You finally have to face it!! For the sake of yourself and your freedom!!' he heard his mind talking to him.

It was actually the only opportunity for the teen. Because only this way, he could possibly get away from all the pressure of being a member of the Explorers, regain his freedom and never, ever have to let others control and humiliate him again!!

So after Amethio had sorted out his thoughts for a short while, he finally looked at everyone with determination. "You know what? You're absolutely right! I finally have to do something, to get my life back on track!!"...

To be continued...

Sidenote: Well, that concludes this Part of the story. I'll be honest with you, I never thought, that this Part would be so full of tension and plus sometimes very emotional as well in comparison to the previous two parts. But more importantly, what did you guys think about Part 3? Feel free, to write me your opinions into the tags. And I would also highly appreciate it, if you could give it a like as well. Because this would just motivate me a lot, to actually continue this story, because I would just know, you really enjoy reading this whole piece overall.

And I would be to myself like 'OK, people like, what I'm doing currently, that's why I have to give everything, I have, to please and impress them even more!!' xd

Regardless to all of that, if you want to find out, how it will continue with Amethios character, as the story progresses and what I still have planned for him and his future relationships with the Rising Volt Tacklers, then I highly recommend you, to definitely stay tuned and join in next time to Part 4 of:

'Pokémon Horizons - The Sudden Turn'

Up until then!! 😘😘😘😘

Your lovely @animefu

#amethio #pokemon horizons #liko #rising volt tacklers #fanfic #sprigatito #roy pokemon #professor friede

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peculiarbob · 7 months

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I watched the FNAF movie so here are some of my thoughts (full spoilers):

-MATTHEW LILLARD!!!!

-I think we all knew he was gonna be William Afton but I was still happy when he showed up in the springtrap costume

-Why is Michael kinda….

-The height difference between Matthew Lillard and Josh Hutcherson is so funny

-Abby was so cute! She really embodied weird little girl vibes

-Vanessa! You poor thing, you didn’t deserve any of that

-I did not expect her to get stabbed

-And I really didn’t expect William to be HER DAD

-MATPAT?!?! AND HE SAID THE THING!!!!

-The fort building scene??? I loved it so much it was so cute

-The animatronics really felt like they were possessed by kids (at some points)

-The cupcake was a menace!

-The whole kidnapping of Garret is so odd?

-Like they’re probably gonna explain it better in the next movie (I think they’re gonna make at least 1 more)

-I like to think that Michael’s memory is wrong in some way. So much doesn’t add up with that we know from the lore but also with what is shown to us in the movie.

-Also Michael, Abby, and Garret not being Aftons changes so much!

-But obviously they’re connected somehow. Once William saw Michael’s last name he switched up. I’m very curious as to how this story will progress.

-I think the spring lock scene was good. It’s a pg-13 movie, I wasn’t expecting too much gore

-“I always come back!”

-Honestly this movie wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought there would be more security camera stuff, closing doors and all that

(I actually went to see it again so I’m here again to finish up this post)

-Since when could they leave the pizzeria?!?! I’m not incredibly caught up on the lore but I thought they couldn’t do that

-Also the aunty died right? What ever happened with her????

-I need to say this: was the scene where Abby draws William killing the kids then the kids turn in William kinda cheesy? Yes. Did it make sense? Yes.

-Also I feel like I’m one of the few people who had a good theatre experience.

-Like yeah there were kids making noise, but it wasn’t too loud and their parents were able to get them to quiet down. Usually I get frustrated with kids making noise in a theatre but they all sounded like they were having fun and they really enjoyed the movie so I couldn’t get mad

-Max didn’t deserve that! I almost forgot about her. Like yeah she was spying on Michael but she didn’t deserve to get chopped in half

-The way this movie was shot was so well done. I love all the close ups and zooms and it was really nice to look at

-William fucking BODIED Michael. Bro went flying.

-Vanessa’s fear in her eyes when her own father stabbed her. She knew the risk the second she stepped in but that doesn’t diminish how terrifying it must’ve been for her.

-I loved Vanessa’s childlike happiness. We don’t see it too often but you can tell how much she loved Freddy’s. The part where she asked Michael to dance felt so innocent

-Very random thought but why can Abby see the ghosts? Was it ever explained in any books or the lore? Because she saw them before they went to the pizzeria right? Or were those actual imaginary friends?

-I really should’ve went into this movie with the mindset of “anything could happen” because, like most people, I know a bit of the lore so a lot of the big changes really threw me off

I think these are all me thoughts (for now)

#bob is talking #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #william afton #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #vanessa shelly

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shotofstress · 11 months

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Response to an aggressive post.

User @toaster-trash made a post basically to mock and attack me with fallacies bc I disagree with them, so I'll make this post to reply since replying to their own post would be giving them reblogs and promoting their toxic behavior that is fulled by their followers.

You open the post by saying that you had a bad week and that you are pity. Sorry you feel that way or someone make u feel that way and that ur week was bad, but this is not relevant to the argument, is just a falacy of emotion. I disagree with you and u made a tantrum. You first of all don't know what is text and what is disidentification, also called misrecogition. which is enough to call out your post as having zero relevance. But given you are just a misguided person i will continue.

You said "we’ve got to decipher because English apparently isn’t this person’s forte for someone who is, apparently, such an avid reader and esteemed critic of English literature". So you mocking my english, doing ad hominem fallacy, that's sad. Then you keep the shitty tone saying that, according to you i am an "avid reader and esteemed critic of English literature". So you are literally need to mock bc i disagree with you, and u have to put me in a fake altar that i didn't put my self, u are trying to look pity. U tried to attack me by impliying that i feel myself some sort of academic or authority figure bc is more easy to use the apeal to pity. All this is ad hominem fallacy (an attempt to invalidate an opponent’s position based on a personal trait or fact about the opponent rather than through logic), a straw men fallacy, and appeal to pity fallacy . You are not a fighter for saying u embrace ur petiness, at countrary, is like when dude bros are reactionary.

"Wonder what kind of backup they’ll have for that argument." The whole book. We literally have the whole book. When u tell basically that nothing matter bc we are on tumblr, and that"Who actually gives a flying fuck? I don’t.", but then rant in a angry post.

The whole paragraph of "autistics have always existed and ppl can see themselves in old texts" is trying to fight an imaginary comment that i didn't make bc I didin't said that we can't see ourselves in the texts, I said that Victor is not autistic. You read in a wrong way my comment and create from the thin air that I think (which i don't) that we can't see things that reminded us of our experiences. One thing is text, and other is desidentification.

"Just because in the 18th century people didn’t necessarily have the language for things doesn’t mean they didn’t exist". I didn't say that we didn't exist, so u are lying, and saying fallacies.

"do we have to revert back to speaking in early 19th century English every time we want to refer to a character who was written back then as neurodivergent or lgbt or anything else??" Fallacy again. I didn't say we need to speak in 19th century English when talikng about texts from that period. You are going off topic, going on a tangent of your own making to attack. You constantly deviate from the argument you intend to make because you know deep down that you are wrong. We've always been around, no one is saying the countrary. I find your attacks disrespectful.

"I can’t even be bothered to explain and to be honest every single other person I’ve said “Frankenstein is autistic to” has immediately responded “oh yeah, obviously” U can't bothered yet u make a post in which u bothered, and really lack of evidence. U are doing desidentification, nothing else, which is not bad, is valid, but is wrong and shitty when u need to make reactionary posts bc I disagree with you and u keep telling Victor is autistic and gay even when what u mean is desidentification and giving no actual text evidence, you are just giving opinions. I don't think Mary would had made Victor gay and as a blatant representation of Percy if he were gay (or queer) bc at the time that would have been like putting a bulleye in Percy's back and I don't think she wanted him hanged.

You keep saying that "what’s the harm in reading him that way?", but really keep writing in the whole post that is not a opinion, but text. I repeat, you need to understand the diference. You can feel that a characters speaks to you, but that doesn't make the character be autistic or gay nor both. You want to see yourself? support and read books about bisexual people wrote by bisexual writers.

"Also, they’re cousins/adopted siblings. If you don’t think that’s fucked up, even by the standards of the time, I’m not really sure what to say to you." Was that someting discused in your post? no, it wasn't, and that it was something that happened back then dosen't make it ok or make me agree with it. "If you don't think", well, we never discused it, it never appeared in the original post so u don't asked nor i speak about it or my opinion about it. I find it fucked up. Not part of the argument still, u just implying with no evidence that maybe im ok with it. More fallacies on your part and deviations from the argument.

You bring up The Vampyre, written by Polidori. It's not on topic, is not even part of the books that the Creature reads. The Vampyre was one of the texts that took place during the famous stay at Byron's mansion, where he, Polidori, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, and Percy Shelly went. The Vampyre is based on the nasty Byron who treated Polidori (and a lot of other ppl) badly. Everyone in the group considered Byron to a greater or lesser extent as an unpleasant, petulant, egotistical man and that he believed that he could do whatever he wanted just by having money, being a man and being famous. You know who else was like pretty much like that? Percy Shelly and too many other writers of that time, and anything of this makes Victor gay, it just shows that Polidori and Shelly could draft bad men indifferent to women and others for disinterest, lack of empathy, and patriarchal behavior. Even if Percy was gay (I say gay in place of queer bc is what u say, he could had been pan for all matters), that doesn't make Victor gay. If Mary would wanted to make an statement on bad gay men in Frankenstein she would had make Clerval a copy of Byron or being pretty explicit about it.

"For one thing, just the fact that he’s so particular about creating “the perfect man” is subject to a lot of queer readings in itself". Head canons, personal readings, valid ways, but not text. Victor don't care about his girlfriend and future wife bc he cares only about himself and his fantasies of power and be superior to others and god. You can say that u feel some queer element, but not that Victor is gay. Victor is deeply mysoginistic and patriarcal, he wants to create the perfect man bc he don't think women are any ideal being, is infered that he finds them inferior, and that only the man can be perfect. For him, then, only a man can create perfection bc is not a women. Only a man, that is seen as logic, no controled by his emotions like women, and all that mysoginistic shit, can make the perfect human which is, of course, a man. Shelly show us that society by killing a mother, a bride, a maid, a little girl. In patriarcal society the norm is being homo afective, all must love men, specially men bc they see themselves as perfect and better than everyone else. That a society encourages that men see the world througth patriarcal lents don't make all men gay. Clerval makes us see how bad Victor was by contrast and how his behavior led Clerval and all the other characters to die. Mary W. S. portrait (we could say in some degree) her feelings about Percy and their situation in Elizabeth Lavenza and her interactions with Victor and other characters. Clerval can be seen not as the love interest of Victor, but as the type of friend that Mary would liked that Percy had bc non of his friends cared about her really nor cared well for him. Let's remember that Byron was ok with Percy leaving Mary, who recently loss a child and was deeply depresed and in bad health in general, going on a boat even when he didn't knew how to swimm and ended with Percy dead. Victor, as Percy, prefered men over women bc mysoginia, not bc he was gay. We really need to stop this idea and reading, this troop of gay men been bad like if it was bc they are gay and not bc they are men in a patriarcal society.

U are just driven by ur opinions and who you want to be gay, and not about the text. You are just reaaaally angry and frustrated, and even go to my archives to seek for a Frankestein quote bc to this point you can't really make a solid argument. You just keep off topic and even bring other arguments that no one is making bc you know that you are wrong. We need to deal with the fact that not everything has queer text or subtext. Life and literature is not a shitty tv show that makes queer baiting for u to love, sometimes characters will not represent you. Is hard to accept, but is true, and that's why there are tons of queer novels and libraries that just sell that books. We can't keep to see ourselves in media created by people that is not from our communities and that lived centuries ago. We need that gay men write about gay men, trans ppl about trans ppl, bisexual ppl about bisexual ppl, etc.

"“Victor is sexist for cutting women out of the creation process” takes – Christ that’s just gross. And feels mildly if not explicitly homophobic" No one is talking about that, why you try to talk about being homphobic from a quote that, apparently, i guess, point to the misogynistic aspect of Victor? from who is that quote? bc is not mine, i didn't put it in your post, so I don't know why are u using it. You set a quote for a discussion that is irrelevant that I did not say in your post, but that you want to make believe that I said or that I agree or that it is about the topic we are talking about, that victor is not being gay or autistic. Don't make sense. Why is homophobic that quote that u take from who knows where, huh? doesn't make sense unless you want to say that gay men can have kids, and that other ppl besides cis women can have kids which is true, but we are not talking about gay people having kids, nor trans ppl having kids, nor enby ppl having kids.

I think is important to add that Victor was a cruel father to the Creature and Mary Shelly knew too many bad fathers, like her own father (her mother died), she felt abandoned. Percy abandoned all his children as well basically constantly abandoned Mary. Victor don't make a human, a man, bc gay feelings, he did so bc he was a bad men full hybris, misogynia, patriarchy. Victor created a child and then abandoned them as all men in Mary's life did with their own. In the novel women are just a few, but are the ones that cared about children, wellbeing, and life in general, but then they die. Victor cared more about men (father, professor, friend) than about women.

Is worth noticing that Mary believd in free love and was also queer as many of her friends so why would she portrait Victor as an evil gay men? doesn't make sense that she make him a gay that created life bc wants a gay couple or whatever if we try to follow the claim of the tumblr user. She would make the Creature for what? if he already had Clerval, his very best friend? if Victor loved Clerval, then how is the Creature a gay thing? like Toaster could have made other points, but didn't bc their claim is just an opinion without arguments. The Creature didn't have a mother only a father that rejected them but also molded them with the books that were from Victor. Mary didn't have a mother, and was formed by her father and their books, but was rejected by her father. We can say that Mary was the Creature, as we know that the 3 books mentioned that the Creature read were read also by Mary; Lost Paradise (about the pain of Lucifer being rejected by his father god and that the Creature also see themselves in Adam being rejected by god too), Wherter (about an unrequited love between a boy and a girl that end in the young men killin himself), and Lifes (Plutarch wrote bios comparing lives of famous Greeks with those of famous Romans from were the Creature learned about ethics, wrong and virtue). See how the Creature is not a methaphor or reference to gay love?

You constantly and in all the post tried to shift focus by introducing an irrelevant point, mislead, make false dilemas, appeal to ignorance, say or imply inaccurate things and do hasty generalizations for the lack of evidence and that the whole novel don't support your opinions. Your really fell in all the fallacies, including the circular one bc ur whole post is basically "Victor is autistic and gay bc I think victor is autistic and gay". You even did the pity fallacy at the begining. You tried to cherry-picking info, but that didn't even work bc didn't make sense with the real discusion, just with the ones u put to distract, and not even for that worked.

You are just unable to have a real argument, you don't want to admit that you are just complaining bc you didn't liked i disagree with you and can't deal with your feelings and a bad week nor you know how to channel that anger, frustration, and tiredness in a way that is not being a little troll of internet basically. You have nothing. But you can learn to do something about your angry issues and your reactionary behaviour, talk to someone about it, you gonna feel better than having a little validation of reblogs that will not hug you when u feel bad, nor make u a happy person, nor growing up to be a person that is fine with their life. Ur angry mutuals that only validate ur attacks or anger don't want you to be happy or fine, just that yall keep feeling miserable. Being a reactionary troll is just gonna make u feel more alone and angry with yourself and everyone, not making people be part of your life in a good positive way that makes you feel loved.

Edit: i added two paragraphs.

#mary shelly's frankenstein #mary shelley #victor frankenstein #modern literature #victorian literature #actually queer #actually neurodivergent #actually trans #anger issues #bad coping mechanisms

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