#because then you can track all of the relationships and character growth at a glance

[kimsnnn]

Part 1

Disclaimer: This post is in favor of my ship, Elriel. No hate, just an opinion. This is what makes sense to me. If this isn't your cup of tea, and it came up on your feed, no worries just skip please. 

If you look at it this way:

If the series were to officially end at ACOWAR then that would mean that there would be no need to add any more books due to the majority of the plot being resolved. If there were slight questions or plot holes that were left open, we as readers can basically create our own conclusion based of where these characters and their stories were left off at. That’s the beauty of being a reader, being able to use our imagination to extend the stories based on canon information to infer or even speculate what happened to those beloved characters of ours.

If its easy to answer these questions, fill these plot holes and resolve any issues within that story, then there would be no need for any additional books, and lets say there were questions that were pressing but not complicated to answer, a simple extra book could be added to resolve that like ACOFAS. ACOFAS could’ve concluded everything. She could’ve also showed Feyre or whoever freeing Vassa and then created a whole spin off on Vassa and her adventures including the plot of her defeating her captor Koschei while also dealing with the queens and humans basically introducing us to a whole new world and continent with new fae/fae territories (like chaol introduced in his book from ToG). Her LI would most likely be Jurian because Lucien would have ended up with Elain which we know because she resolved that in ACOFAS.

BUT

That’s not at all what happened. Things were not answered/resolved during ACOFAS.

The author which in this case is SJM knew that whatever obvious inferences/speculation we the fandom would have is not the accurate ending she had for these characters. So she decided to introduce far more books into the series as standalones but, still part of the overarching plot to truly get the full scope of what she has in store for these characters. Why make additional books based on the obvious ?  She’s a writer, she knows the importance of creating mystery or writing plot twists that we either didn’t or decided not to realize or even accept. So ACOFAS and even ACOWAR wasn’t there to answer last minute questions, to show us that our favorite ships did end up together, no it was there to be used to set up future stories like SJM said and be as close as can be as opposite of obvious.

At the End of ACOWAR we have :

Nesta

-THAT Nessian moment 🥰  (& Nessian moments in general in ACOWAR)

We can infer based on where those characters were left off that :

-They would end up together eventually.  I mean come on, Cass’s line *chef’s kiss*.

BUT what people forget is that was also her breaking point (trauma) 

-We didn’t know how her trauma would affect her, her life and loved ones, & how she’d heal Or what were even her powers. These questions were built up throughout all of ACOWAR

So what did SJM do?

-She wrote the answers to those questions in ACOSF while also resolving questions about Nessian’s status especially since Nesta first had to start healing to let herself be loved.

The evidence ? The set up to gain support to find these answers ? Its in ACOFAS

-Nesta’s drinking, isolation, rage, fear, loneliness and self hate

-Nesta’s avoidance of her sisters, the IC and Cassian

-Cassian’s persistence, confusion. Feeling helpless.

Same thing can be seen for Elain

At the end of ACOWAR

Elain

-Civilness between E and L.  She seems more at peach and want to plan gardens/rebuild

We can infer

-Elain talked to Lucien so she forgave him or is on track to forgive him. From this we can assume the possibility of Elucien being endgame.

Elain also must be healed because she smiled and wants to help rebuild. So that all equals acceptance of her powers (on occasionally seeing things and that it, that’s her power), her new life and bond

BUT what we forget is the iconic Elriel moments (Hybern camp & truth teller connection), Elain’s world/future going up in flames, the consequences/trauma of having been gifted these powers

-We don’t know the full scope of her powers, why the cauldron adores her, how she feels, why were we given blooming moments between Elriel 

So again what will SJM probably do?

-Set Elriel to be endgame. Cause civility/friendship/forgiveness/CLOSURE between Elain and Lucien. Get In depth about her powers, her trauma and how it has affected the life she thought she would have. Have her come into her role in the NC and have self growth. 

The evidence? Its in ACOFAS & ACOSF

-Elain’s anger and desperation to have a choice, to have her own agency

-Elain’s avoidance, tolerance, discomfort of Lucien ( she wilts and regresses)

-Elain’s push to contribute more and firmly declare she’s a member of the NC

-Elriel’s tension & build up ( glances, smiles, blushing, gifts, humor, awareness, longing, protectiveness, attraction, actively trying to distract themselves, etc I could go on and on)

-Confirmation of Elain’s power still existing. Her whereabouts: where is Elain when the IC are facing obstacles?

-Her visions still to happen. The fourth dead trove needs to be found: it makes sense that it would be found by Elain (& Az) ( the crown: Braiylln, the harp & mask: Nesta, the fourth trove: Elain)

*If there are 3 cauldron made and Braiylln found one (& is now dead), Nesta found 2 but couldn't get a good read of the fourth, that means it'll be up to Elain & Azriel because they are basically the only two in the IC who closely work with shadows and even mist. Maybe Nuala and Cerridwen would also join in searching which id love.

Now let’s ignore the evidence.

From that moment at the end of ACOWAR again: 1) we see Elain who seems better and 2)we have Elain and Lucien who seem to be in a civil place 

So we assume she’s healed or on track, and her relationship with Lucien is looking up. So why would SJM write a whole standalone on the obvious?

If she’s healed and okay, if she and Lucien will be a sailing ship why be so secretive and unclear on Elain’s story, on who she ends up with?

Nessian was so clear, there was no REAL doubt that they would not end up together despite the obstacles between them, two of them being her rage and trauma. But Nessian would be and are endgame period. All the other “prospects” were just for angst, development and humor. Not real threats.

She wrote Nesta’s story because the worry and question wasn’t on Nessian’s validity, she established their validity and their romance when Nesta prepared to die with Cassian, when Cassian promised to find more time with her, when Nesta called for Cassian, when Nesta Wass worried for Cassian, when Nesta would constantly pay attention to him without realizing it (his wings) when Cassian ran after her during solstice, when Cassian bought her a gift etc. The worry and questions were ALWAYS on and about Nesta’s role, powers, and trauma because they were the influencing factor that affected everyone’s future, Nesta’s life/health and Nessian’s ability to finally able to come together.

If Elucien were endgame we as a fandom would know without a doubt that they are. There would be many more moments of ooh’s and hmmm’s and less mystery and confusion on their validity. There would be far more angst and these characters would have be seen more often together (seeking each other out, but Elain never does) or at least have them have more than one scene of mutual civilness where they dont talk awkwardly, and have a real conversation not one that seems forced, especially by Feyre. Even with the obstacles between them and their distance (because of the obvious elephant in the room) we should have scenes that showcases clear interest between them but we don’t. There is only one true scene where we have that and its at the end of ACOWAR, Im not blind i could see where people might interpret it as Elucien confirmation and who knows maybe I'm wrong and it is but, I read that differently. That to me was confirmation that a friendship between them is possible. Something completely platonic but just as sweet in a different way. That scene to me wasn’t charged it was not even a slow burn or even a spark it was healing and the foreshadowing of a possible friendship.

ALSO:

*Possible ToG spoiler below*

I don’t think it’s too far fetched to assume that Vassien is a thing. And in all honestly I also don’t think its too far fetched to have Lucien (& Vassa) have their own book like Chaol (& Yrene) did. Chaol was an important/original main character from the very beginning of the series who ended up doing grave mistakes. He found himself lost in life to later finding himself gaining a new purpose outlook & perspective when he left the continent to only meet his new LI Yrene freaking Towers who SERIOUSLY changed the whole game ( I freaking love her) and was extremely valuable to winning that war. This is so similar to Lucien’s story so far and Vassa (the firebird) who I expect to resemble Yrene in value and vitalness  BUT it is important to state that Lucien is nothing like Chaol and is far more SUPERIOR. So No this is not me saying Lucien is like Chaol. This is just me seeing the resemblance in their journeys so far, which might be due to SJM possibly reusing the same template on purpose.

Part 2

#elain #elain archeron #elain x azriel #elriel #acotar 5

[woeisme-iamwoe]

an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

 I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay. 

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

 primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully 

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom. 

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it. 

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

 Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy. 

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

 Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale. 

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

 make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on. 

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

 our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch  

 two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes. 

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them. 

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.” 

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

 we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. 

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love. 

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

 Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on. 

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

 The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with. 

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

 darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married. 

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

 the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic. 

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

 Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites. 

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

 A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

 Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience. 

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

 Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride. 

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

 No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

 Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together. 

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

 Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while. 

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

--

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

 The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

 Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

 cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!! 

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

 Routine, by snoqualmie  (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly. 

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

 Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso. 

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

 Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read. 

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

 the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit. 

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

 the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it. 

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

 I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful. 

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong. 

 my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.  

 Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth. 

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week. 

 especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love. 

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

 sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried. 

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

 of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together. 

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

 cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot. 

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

 Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa. 

 Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it. 

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

 i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

 old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet. 

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

 all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay. 

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings. 

 we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it. 

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.  

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

 Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother. 

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

-

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

 film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru. 

 how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse. 

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

[offbeatcappuccino]

My Love Letter for Run On

You have your world, and I have mine. But, we could align our worlds next to each other, couldn’t we?

- Oh Mi Joo to Ki Seon Gyeom| Episode 16 

Run On came to me during a special time in my life. Last fall was a period, where I was working towards immense personal growth and self reflection and watching kdramas was a form of self care and preservation. When the winter arrived, I struggled with a sense of emptiness that permeated when the semester ended. Also, the kdramas that ended during the winter, like Start Up and Tale of the Nine Tailed Fox left me deeply unsatisfied with the ending and shows like More Than Friends were difficult to stay committed to because of the weak storyline. I was bored out of my mind and worst of all, I was stuck in a k-drama rut. I started watching Run On because there was nothing else to watch at that time. Run On was initially a drama that I was indifferent to at first. However, I watched it every week without skipping an episode and slowly I realized that this show was making my Wednesdays and Thursdays just a little better. Halfway through the show, I realized I was deeply committed and in love with the plot. Ki Seon Gyeom, Oh Mi Joo, Lee Yeong Hwa, and Seo Dan Ah, were all characters that grew on me. Run On is not only a drama, but an experience that its audience lives through vicariously. Every episode feels like a mental breakthrough that pushes you to reflect on your own relationships, values, and ambitions. Simply put, Run on is a refreshing masterpiece rooted in realism. 

At first glance, the characters in Run On are anything but relatable. Oh Mi Joo is a quirky translator and orphan, Seon Gyeom, a national track runner who also happens to be the son of beloved Korean film star and influential politician. Lee Yeong Hwa is a sometimes naive optimistic energetic college student, and Seo Dan Ah, is the blunt slightly offensive very ambitious CEO who also happens to be an heir for one of the biggest conglomerates in South Korea. With a diverse set of unique characters, its very easy for such rom-com focused k-dramas to easily slip into the fantastical. Run On could have very easily become a drama like What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, one that unashamedly embraces the grandiose. Seon Gyeom could have used his influence to shower countless expensive gifts upon Oh Mi Joo and essentially liberate her from her middle class status. Lee Yeong Hwa and Seo Dan Ah’s relationship could have been the classic “noona” trope, where Yeong Hwa, despite his younger age, could have become the typical overprotective boyfriend and Seo Dan Ah could have been the woman who only understands her worth through her relationship with Yeong Hwa. What these two alternative storylines ultimately hinge on is this concept of unrequited love, the idea that my happiness solely comes from your happiness and I will sacrifice anything for you even if it comes at the cost of my own wellbeing. These storylines also promote a problematic understanding of what it means to be a man and a woman. A man is only expected to give and a woman is expected to receive.  This characterization sends the problematic message that men are perfectionists and women are incapable of being independent. K-drama writers often fall back to these tropes because societally, we have a misconception that these clichés are what make watching romance worthwhile. 

Run On is special because the actual storyline is one that demonstrates that healthy relationships can be engaging and entertaining to watch. Run On “runs” leaps and bounds to show us that romance can feel ordinary yet fulfilling. In both dramas and real life, we see characters pursue relationships because of the excitement and highs that accompany them even if it’s a relationship that feels unhealthy and unstable. In Run On, Seon Gyeom’s status, does not become the major focus of their relationship. There are no grandiose over the top gestures of romance on this show. What there are sincere genuine moments of compassion and support. When Seon Gyeom and Mi Joo live together as roommates, Seon Gyeom shows his love for Mi Joo in the way that he makes her kimchi fried rice and advises her to stop pulling all nighters and drinking green smoothies and eating cereal as a form of sustenance. On the other hand, Mi Joo makes Seon Gyeom’s favorite japchae during one of their dates. In Run On, its the simple things that truly allow us to express our love for another person. 

 Another one of my favorite scenes is when Mi Joo gets the flu and is running a fever, Seon Gyeom helps relocate her to a better room and tells her that he can be someone she can rely on when things get tough. Similarily, throughout the show, Mi Joo helps Seon Gyeom find his passion for mentoring and guiding young athletes and supports him when he is forced to retire from athletics. Yet, these characters don’t exist only within the confines of their relationship. We see Mi Joo continuing to actively  pursue professional success as a translator and Seon Gyeom continues in his journey to help his friend Kim Woo Sik get back on the race track after his injury. Both characters have goals and aspirations outside of their relationships and this show normalizes the fact that our personal needs can coexist with our romantic relationships. Unlike what other k-dramas and other shows depict, relationships don’t have to be all consuming activities for us to engage in. While this concept may seem like an obvious expectation, Run On serves a powerful reminder that gently conveys the fact that embracing romance is not synonymous with being swept up in it. 

As a South Asian woman, love and relationships have always been closely tied to this idea of relentless sacrifice. Relationships come first before anything else and this can breed toxic ideas of what romance look likes. In my own community and many other Asian communities , everything from parenting and marriage is closely tied to this idea of living for another person. As a daughter, you live to fulfill your parents’ ideas of success. As a wife and mother, you live to solely ensure your husband and childrens’ wellbeing. What Run On taught me is this idea of balance and space that needs to exist in all our relationships. Relationships need to be built on a principle of clear communication, reciprocity, and respect. Thank you Run On for making this cold winter just a little warmer. 

#run on #run on kdrama #netflix #jtbc #kdrama #im siwan #shin se kyung #sooyoung #kdrama review #kdrama recommendations #kang tae oh #maker:chinchaqueen #kdrama edits

[miminiac]

Korrasami had build up, just maybe not one you identified with and that’s okay...

I am tired of the LGBTQ+ community hating on Legend of Korra (LoK) for not being gay enough. The critique that there wasn’t enough build up is (1) not productive at all and (2) honestly, not true. There was build up. It may not be the build up every LGBTQ+ person will like, and it may not relate to the experience of every person’s coming out, but it was there. Korrasami was something the creators had tossed around as soon as Book 1 (not that they necessarily had permission to do anything about it). Take this quote from Bryan Konietzko’s tumblr post after the finale aired:

As we wrote Book 1, before the audience had ever laid eyes on Korra and Asami, it was an idea I would kick around the writers’ room. At first we didn’t give it much weight, not because we think same-sex relationships are a joke, but because we never assumed it was something we would ever get away with depicting on an animated show for a kids network in this day and age, or at least in 2010. (link)

The post also discusses how Makorra was never meant to be endgame after Book 1. Again, the time LoK was airing was at a point where states were passing laws to actively prevent gay marriage (LoK ended in 2014, legalization of same-sex marriage by supreme court ruling wasn’t until 2015––context is important). Did they actively write a romance in Books 1 and 2, no they did not. However, as many creators and writers, they let the characters lead them and they discovered that Korra and Asami were more than just friends. Again, taken from the same post:

The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us

So what we have with Korra and Asami is not a planned romantic relationship from the very beginning, however, the characters have been leading them there since the beginning, whether they realized it or not. Now, I am a big fan of Barthes’ “Death of the Author”, so I 100% percent think that viewers/readers have the ability to inject their own narratives and that multiple narratives can coexist. However, the point of this post is to explain why a critique of “wish they did more” is not productive when it comes to discussion of LoK of a piece of LGBTQ+ media representation. Therefore, I turn to the creators to show that there was intent and there was subtext and build up within Book 3 and 4 (as Bryan discusses in his post, please read in full when you have time).

A lot of Korrasami was hidden in subtext, and that happened because of homophobia within the industry, which still exists today. Content creators of LGBTQ+ media continue to have to walk a fine line. Take Noelle Stevenson talking about Catradora:

My big fear was that I would show my hand too early and get told very definitively that I was not allowed to do this

And like with Catradora (though a little easier since Noelle told viewers that every character is a part of the LGBTQ+ community by default unless explicitly stated otherwise), people saw Korrasami from as early as Book 2 (if not Book 1 on a rewatch).

At the time LoK started airing, I still thought I was straight; I still thought I was straight when I was watching the third season and telling my then boyfriend how Korra and Asami were going to be a couple by the end (literally, when they interacted in the first episode of season 3 while Asami taught Korra how to drive, I turned to him and said it; he said they would never do that and it was a pipe dream). I continued to see Korrasami’s friendship build into something romantic (even if the characters themselves were unaware of it).  

Come Season 3 Episode 9, where Asami carries away a helpless Korra, mimicking Katara having carried away a helpless Aang. For those who had watched the original series and were big Korrasami shippers, this scene basically made it canon. It could be argued as the point that maybe the friendship switched to something more romantic. The rest of season 3 and all of season 4 only added moments between these two (side note: I came out as bisexual soon after season 4 started airing, though I had been questioning my sexuality probably since the end of season 3).

Now is the Korrasami relationship perfect, absolutely not. Bryke admits as much, but it was a significant step forward. Again, this happened in 2014, so a lot of narrative within media of states passing laws to discriminate against same-sex couples and deny marriage. The hand-holding scene everyone screams about not being enough. Well, they received plenty of homophobic backlash from that.

The critique that they didn’t do enough is not productive. It is a critique that could be said about most main-stream LGBTQ+ media. I get that we are tired of scraps; I get that we are tired of having to read between the lines because creators are still afraid to come out and say it (pun intended). However, to critique LoK as “not being gay enough” ignores the context in which it was created and what that representation meant to many of the viewers (like myself) who were discovering themselves and their sexuality at the time.

Avatar: the Last Airbender (ATLA) was made for 8-13 year olds (from season 1), and I would argue that LoK was made for that same group of people, who would have then been 14-19 years old when LoK first aired. Thus, LoK was being watched by those entering high school and college––a time of self-discovery.

Additionally, a critique that LoK doesn’t do enough leads to an idea that there is “a right way” to create a LGBTQ+ relationship, which I would argue is harmful to the community at large. If you did not identify with Korra’s coming out, that’s completely valid. If you did not identify with the way the Korrasami relationship progressed, that is also valid. But you cannot invalidate the relationship of Korrasami, as a relationship built off a friendship and mutual respect that blossomed by into something more. The relationship was not sexualized with wistful glances and blatant sexual tension, instead, it was built on a friendship and respect for boundaries.

Again, multiple narratives can be drawn given each viewer has a unique set of experiences. One such reading could show that Asami was more in tune with her feelings for Korra than Korra was about her feelings for Asami. And, instead of flirting non-stop with Korra, Asami respects Korra’s space (though we all saw her check out Korra’s back muscles) and recognizes that Korra has a lot on her plate being the avatar, a relationship is not something on the forefront of her mind. It is only after defeating Kuvira (and the healing/growth from a few episodes prior in "Beyond the Wilds”) that Korra is able to truly understand her feelings to Asami, suggesting they take a trip together––just the two of them.

Now, you may not identify with that type of coming out, but other people do. And to argue that “LoK didn’t make Korrasami explicit enough” undermines the experiences of those in the LGBTQ+ who heavily identified with Korra’s experiences and her coming out.

Holding LGBTQ+ media to this higher standard is inherently toxic. I would like to believe that these creators are coming from a good place with good intentions. There is nothing toxic or abusive in the way Korrasami is portrayed. There is nothing unrealistic about the way their relationship progressed throughout the series. It was not a fan service––it was the natural progression of the characters.

And let’s not forget that Korrasami is not only confirming a relationship between two women, but it is also two women of color. Now, it may not seem like a huge deal within the contexts of the Avatar World, but it is important to remember the context of where this show was airing.

There are things we can critique LoK on. It isn’t perfect. We can discuss the hiring of white voice actors (as a way to hold new media that is being created or will be created accountable, not as a way to just hate on LoK); we can discuss the voices within the writers room and the lack of diversity there. These are critiques that can be made of ATLA and LoK and countless of other media produced. This is a valid critique when used constructively. It is not meant to tear down an entire piece of media and everything that it has done for various communities, but rather to point to a flaw within the way media is being produced and the racist, sexist, and homophobic systems in place that determine what and how media is produced.

If we are to critique, we could look to reimagining how we create and consume media, not tearing down media that has already been produced and stands in a pivotal spot of the community. As Audre Lorde says:

For the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.

If we are continually operating within the systems of oppression, we will never truly be able to dismantle them. Thus, to operate within the institutions of Nickelodeon, Netflix, Disney, etc. is to be beholden to the rules and constraints of a moderate, heteronormative, sexist, racist society. If creators stray too far from that line too quickly, there will be backlash. The perfect LGBTQ+ representation cannot exist while made within these institutions.

I would like to mention this statement is not to say that we cannot critique or boycott movies or shows that are performative in their diversity. There is no excuse for Hollywood after the successes of Black Panther (2018) and Crazy Rich Asians (2018) (and others) to not fill the crew and writers with the same representation being shown on the screen. We can, and should, hold production companies accountable––and given the internet, it is something we can do even early on in the production process.

I have gotten a little off track, but my point is, think about your critiques. Really ask yourself if it is a productive critique, or if it is critique that actually harms or is toxic to the community. Critiques are hard, I understand that. When we first start to think critically, it is easy to just jump on these “low hanging fruit” type critiques. It takes practice and comfortability learning and expanding your world view to construct a critique that looks at context from various point of views and experiences.

#korrasami #in this essay i will #let's talk about critiques #korra #asami sato #asami #legend of korra #tlok #lok #avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #bisexual #lgbtq community #lgbtq representation #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #bisexuality #women loving women #sorry for the wall of text #i had to remove links because tumblr marked them as spam but you can message me if you want links

[silhouettica]

Disclaimer: image shown above is not mine; source is linked to the image.

____________

It’s been a long time since I’ve written an anime review, but this one is too well-deserved to pass up.

I tend to have a love-hate relationship with the sports-shounen genre in the manga industry. On one hand, good quality stories have great characters, undeniably well-drawn images, and okay storylines... but--- technique-wise, there was just too much suspension-of-disbelief required to go on reading.

Take for instance, Kuroko no Basuke and the legendary Phantom Sixth Man who is capable of magically disappearing in court; or, there’s Prince of Tennis and the gravity-defying non-arc path that their tennis balls traverse -- OR do not traverse, as do those which avoid the Tezuka zone. Basically, most popular and long-running sports genre mangas have a tendency to go borderline fantasy in many elements, or otherwise tend to sport some rarely-seen-in-a-thousand-years genius to spice up the story, which is understandably unrealistic (after all, this is fiction we’re reading). But perhaps, after almost two decades of watching anime and reading manga, my personal preference is now leaning towards the comfort provided by the slice-of-life genre, and against typical expectations, there’s that lingering desire to taste the slice of life in a sports manga...

Enter: Haikyuu.

Haikyuu was already a famous anime when I heard that it revolved around volleyball. When I heard that, the first question that occurred to me was, How much plot can be formed around such a sport as volleyball? Don’t get me wrong -- I’ve only ever been involved in two fields of sports: one is track and field, and the other is volleyball, so I at least like the sport. But since we’re used to being exposed to mangas centering around basketball or some martial arts, a story revolving around volleyball was foreign territory. But it was already famous, and with fame comes expectations --- thus, for fear of suffering from failed expectations, I deferred, or more like skipped out on Haikyuu.

But, well, with FB Watch capable of being a demonic source of temptation, Haikyuu showed up in my Watch Feed, and poof! - I was hooked. Manga was finished in less than a few weeks, and episodes repeatedly watched on FB (still ongoing, haha). In my personal list of top mangas, it has far surpassed even One Piece. It’s that good.

What’s so attractive about Haikyuu is that above being refreshing character and plot-wise, it was also obviously painstakingly created with so much attention to detail, in terms of the technical aspects of volleyball. I mean, just watch the videos contrasting Haikyuu to real-life volleyball matches - there’s almost no difference to be seen. The accuracy is admirable. In this regard, suspension of disbelief is very minimized --- well, except for the repeated overtime in matches; but if they stuck to the usual 15 or 25pt matches, we wouldn’t have much screentime to make a viable story, now, would we? So it’s an understandable adjustment to accommodate for the sake of cultivating the story.

Beyond this, Haikyuu boasts of a roster of interesting and complex characters littered throughout the storyline. Honestly, I can’t hate any single one of them. Your heart would go out to every character in every team. It’s amazing how the mangaka depicted each character differently, with all their bias and flaws, besides their refreshingly non-OP strengths, all combined to portray each individual’s humanity. And gah, when they’re made to mix together - the rapport between and amongst such variety of personalities is just fascinating to behold. And then comes character development - whoosh. How one person’s evolution affects the quality of a team’s mixture is another feast to behold. So much respect for this mangaka for bringing to life such abundance of quality complex characters. Seriously. Shounen x Sports x Slice of life + epic ups and downs + epic ending arc (MOST SATISFYING ENDING TO SPORTS GENRE EVER).

This is plain epic.

At first glance, any reader/follower would be drawn to the main characters - there’s Kageyama, Hinata, Ushijima, Oikawa, etc., all those OP-level players (or at least potentially so, for Hinata). 

Well, Hinata is the main character, as the story is dominantly affected by his actions and skill development. Watching his character growth is a treat, in and of itself. Seriously. Hinata may be boke at times, but isn’t really stupid. He’s just less-skilled than others (understandably so, given his lack of experience), but he more than makes up for it with his bottomless enthusiasm. And that innocence... Kawaii~. His love for the game is just contagious. Freakin’ want to buy a volleyball just to start playing on my own.

Kageyama may be called a genius setter, but really, he’s far from being the complete package. And he’s one of the more complex characters that really steals your heart. Like Hinata, he just overflows with love for the game, but his innocence is of a different level. After being shown his blindspot, he tempers his snobbishness, and literally BEGS for help --- I mean, look how he bows to Tsukishima for help in acads, or towards his senior Oikawa, in order to improve in volleyball. He’s mostly snobbish only towards those who don’t do their best (besides being just plain socially awkward). But he’s a very good kouhai, and it’s especially touching how he and Hinata paved the way for Asahi’s attack against Date Tech. I appreciate that he’s not so OP-level that he didn’t need anyone to improve -- he was helped by their coach, he was helped by Oikawa, there’s his senpais guiding him somewhat, etc. He’s not the Echizen-type who can learn on his own. He has so many blindspots, but he listens and asks for help once he’s shown that they exist.

There are a wealth of other characters worth mentioning, but recently, when I think of relating to the characters, what I easiest to resonate with are Yamaguchi and Ennoshita. Tsukki is another runner-up, being one who’s overly phlegmatic, with a defeating inferiority complex, but with a taste for vengeance... Bokuto’s answer to his existential question on why they play volleyball was very insigtful --- you don’t enjoy volleyball probably because you suck in it. HAHAHA. Isn’t that true for all of us - how we superficially hate some things when actually it’s because we just aren’t good at them. But at the very least, Tsukishimi Kei has so many qualities that puts him above others, it’s hard to compare oneself to him. On the other hand, there’s Yamaguchi the one-trick pony and Ennoshita the returning quitter. Sometimes I think of quitting when the academic “training” gets tough, but coming to think of Yama, I’m reminded that this is my one sword. The only reason he enters the court is as a pinch server - apart from that, there’s nothing else. So if he gets cold feet and settles for an easy serve, he forfeits the right to enter the court. If he lets go of the jump float serve, he has nothing else. Similarly, there’s Ennoshita who actually quit the team, but returned because the comfort became uncomfortable... I dunno if I’m the only one who’se quit in at least one point of my life, and took an easy way out or through something, but Ennoshita’s lesson is true for all of us - we’d regret quitting. Quitting is a no-go.

Anyway, I can’t describe all the other characters, else, this would be too long. But it’s just so amazing how Haruichi Furudate was able to create so many complex characters, each with their own backstories (okay, unrealistically, no sob stories here since this isn’t a drama) and no antagonist to hate, but the story was was just so complete and wholesome. I mean, take the Nekoma team, for one - they’re supposed to be Karasuno’s biggest rival, but they’re the ones who gave them a fighting chance to improve. Sportsmanship really dwells high on this one. Bokutooo, that once-spoiled ace... Oikawa, that snobbish great king who only recognized Kageyama as his junior when talking to Ushijima... The side characters who made up each respective team’s coaching, managerial, and cheer squad... There’s just so many personalities to admire and be thankful to the author for.

Haikyuu is truly a story about volleyball --- it’s not a story about inter-high, it’s not a story about high school; rather it’s a story that explores the different aspects surrounding volleyball - from childhood, as between friends, to high school and inter-high competitions, to the coaches and managers and trainings behind the scenes, to (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!) in-house vs. beach volleyball, to a professional career and international competitions. It’s really volleyball in different seasons of lives of a variety of people.

One poignant fact is that for most people, playing sports would be limited to high school. After inter-high, teammates would separate and a new team will be formed, year after year. That’s why it’s so precious how (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!) the manga showed the fanatic-highchoolers-turned-professional players being watched by their previous volleyball teammates and competitiors --- something I’ve never seen in other sports mangas (which mostly had to do with players getting some injury, going to rehab and recuperating, and so). Previous teammates faced each other as competition, and previous rivals became comrades. It’s just. so. epic.

Anyway, thank you,  Haruichi Furudate-san. May the anime remain top-notch in quality. Viva Haikyuu!!

#Haikyuu #volleyball #manga #annime

[honey-makki]

Sorry

Characters: Haiba Lev X Fem!Reader Summary: After talking to your father on the phone, Lev wants to help you unlearn unhealthy coping mechanisms. Warnings: family issues, allusions to abuse, bad childhoods, abusive language Song: seven- taylor swift Genre: hurt-> fluff Word Count: 1.7k+ A/N: This is about a rough childhood and growing from that. It’s deeply personal and could very well be triggering to people. I wanted to write something about the value of having a support system without undermining the work an individual has to do personally.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The holidays are generally a joyous time of year, full of reflection on your growth, sweet traditions with friends, and time spent with family. You adore the yearly gift exchange that you and Lev host in your shared apartment. Wreath cookies fresh out of the oven, hot cocoa in everyone’s mugs and silly pajamas.

The gifts were never serious, ranging from bacon toothpaste to a copy of Flubber (which Lev would argue is a fantastic movie, but that's besides the point) to a unicorn mug. Laughter floating around the house as people switch gifts and mosey around snacking on food and catching up with others.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing your friends, all gathered together and just existing. Nothing can crush your spirit other than a phone call from your father. “Y/N, we expect you will be home Thursday night for the family dinner and stay for breakfast with Grandma in the morning.”

You know it won't matter how you try to get out of it, years of attempts proved that you go, or it gets worse. The already tense relationship strung even tighter, harsh words thrown your direction, implications that were clearly false, guilt piling up until you can’t take it anymore and you head home for a visit.

You tried explaining to your father that you had an overnight shift at the hospital and wouldn’t be able to make it. Hearing laughter from your friends through the phone, he tears into you for “valuing their companionship more than the people who gave you everything.” You try to get a word in but he doesn’t stop.

Lev notices you’ve been gone for almost 20 minutes on a call and decides to check on you. He walks outside to see you, sitting on the snowy stoop. The scene breaks his heart and lights a fire in him. Seeing you crying into your knees, your father still spewing vicious words from the phone sitting at your side. Both of you can hear him clearly even though he isn’t on speaker, the venom of his voice is amplified through sheer anger.

In the coldest tone your silver haired boyfriend has ever used, “Y/N has to go now,” and hangs up on your confused father. He slides into a seated position next to you, placing an arm around your shoulder, cooing soothing nothings to you. His voice brings you back to earth a little, silently crying, rather than the gut wrenching sobs.

Voice raspy from overuse, “I-- I’m sor- sorry-- sorry you had to c-come check on m-m-me.”

“Angel, don’t worry. You have nothing to apologize for. I checked on you because I care about you, not because I felt obligated,” knowing you want to rebut, he continues “don’t talk, let your voice rest. Just let me tell you that I love you and I’m here for you for as long as you’ll have me.”

He pulls you onto his lap and holds you until you feel strong enough to go inside, watching the snowflakes fall together in the meantime. ------------ Lev knew that your childhood wasn’t the best. You never brought up him meeting your parents or visiting home for the weekend. You never joined in the conversations reminiscing about “the good ole days” stating rather that you were more than happy to live in this moment.

You always shot Lev a loving glance or gave him a peck on the cheek to show that you weren't being cheesy, but genuinely meant it.

You were never slow to tell him how much you loved him, lamenting the fact that he made you feel safe, like you truly had a home. He took your words to heart, but never really understood what you were implying until that night on the phone with your dad.

Everything seemed to fall into place, puzzle pieces of your life up until now finally fitting together in his mind. The way you looked relieved when he told you that he loved you, brushing off talking about you family despite loving seeing Alisa and his parents, how you mentioned being independent at an early age.

The way you repeatedly apologize over every tiny mishap from bumping into him in the hallway or spilling a glass of water. How when you have an argument, you put space and preferably a piece of furniture between you two. The way you flinched when you heard a man yelling, retreating into Lev’s arms reflexively.

He didn’t realize what he was seeing were coping mechanisms from abuse. Overapologizing for existing, always being ready to run if needed, anxiety, and the pavlovian physical reaction you have to loud noises.

How did he not see this before? -------- It became Lev’s one true intention to help you. He tracked and noticed what triggered your anxiety so he could remove or reduce them in your daily life, always trying to stay seated and relaxed whenever an argument occurred knowing that his imposing 6’3 figure makes the problem worse, never raising his voice, even in glee, not when he was playing video games.

You noticed he was acting a little different, but weren’t exactly sure where it came from. You had still avoided his questions after the party a few months back just brushing your dad’s behavior as a one time thing. Lev made it clear that you didn’t need to go visit them if you didn’t want to do so, and if you did, that he would be going with you.  Not wanting you to face that alone.

Lev started going to therapy, wanting to make the idea normal. He talked about coping mechanisms he was learning to deal with stress, offering up these little nuggets of advice in a way that you could take them and avoid his questions until you were ready to talk.

It was almost 6 months after the night Lev talked to your dad on the phone that you broke down in his arms again.

----------- Your birthday was next week. When you got out of the shower after a double shift at the hospital, the first thing you saw on your revived phone was a voicemail from your dad. Lev already knew something was wrong by the whimper embedded in the way you called out to him from your bathroom.

You were never one to show emotions unless you wanted to express them, having learned that skill at a young age, but this time it broke through. The image of Lev opening the door with force that teetered between firm and tender, face contorted into concern, his body glistening with a thin sheen of sweat over his bare chest was the epitome of comfort.

“I’m sorry for interrupting your work out ses-”

“No. Y/N you do not need to apologize to me for existing, for feeling or for needing me. Ever. I love you so, so much and would do anything to make you realize that. To make you understand that.”

That confession is how you realized Lev already knew your secret. You didn’t have the ability to process that his past actions were intentional, trying to make you comfortable and grow as an individual. You can’t process that because the thought of someone knowing about your past brought you to tears.

You never wanted to seem broken, like damaged goods, someone with too much baggage to handle. It’s the whole reason you never told Lev even though you were planning on spending your life with him. You didn’t want to ruin that; to have him not pick up the pieces of your heart. Leaving you even more broken than you were before.

He knew that his love wouldn’t fix your heart in totality or immediately resolve bad habits, but he wanted to give you the support to get there. And right now, you needed him to hold you.

The warmth of his body encompassing yours as he moves you into a sitting position reduces the cold wave of worry that ran through your body. The coo of his gentle voice whispering words of adoration and pure unadulterated love into your ear brings you out of your head, grounding you in this moment.

To the only moment that matters. Moments with him, safe, tender, and full of support.  When you gather yourself, you quietly walk him through your childhood. He patiently waits, not interrupting you but assuring you to take your time when you get choked up.

“Y/N, I want to make sure that you never feel like that again. I want to help you move forward.”

And he does just that. He watches you go to therapy and come back a little lighter, even on the bad days. Lev brings you a cup of tea when your anxiety gets too bad, always fast to remove you from situations that might be triggering. He is a constant companion and cheerleader for your transformation.

------

You stand in the nursery for your soon to be child with Lev. Basking in what the future holds for the two, no, three of you. Lev notices the wistful expression on your face as you seem lost in thought. “Hey, we will be fantastic parents. Our kid is going to know what love is and see it exemplified every day.” He cups your cheeks, staring into your eyes trying to see if you not only understand, but believe him.

“I know. Sorry, I’m just, It’s just a concern I have. I don’t want to be like-”

“Y/N. You would never emulate your childhood. I’ve seen you grow so much and become the most resilient and compassionate woman I know. You will be able to teach those things to our child. I have no doubts about that.” He punctuated his proclamation with a sweet kiss on the lips and a soft hug, accommodating for your belly which holds the future, not a repeat of the past.

Tags @ceo-of-daichi​ @roandtheroses​ @sugawara-sweetheart​ @iguessimastannow​@laughingismorefun

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25 Best Sports TV Shows

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Sports stories have traditionally belonged to the movies. Something about the rhythms of competition, in which an athlete or team trains, plays, and then either wins or loses, is a natural fit for the film world’s three act structure.

Television, with its multiple episodes and seasons, is often more discursive and therefore less viable for truly great sports stories. Thankfully, that all seems poised to change. While some sports TV shows have found success in the past, now the medium has really kicked things up a notch. Sports stories like Brockmire, Ted Lasso, Cobra Kai, and more are not only welcome on television, but an essential part of the cable and streaming landscape. 

Read more

TV

The United States of TV High Schools

By Alec Bojalad

Movies

The Best Sports Documentaries To Stream

By Scott Fontana and 2 others

With that in mind, it’s high time we pay homage to TV’s great sports programs. What follows is a list of 25 of the best sports TV shows of all time, hand selected by Den of Geek (i.e. me: the arms-crossed weirdo in the picture at the bottom of this article). 

It’s important to keep in mind that these are the best scripted sports TV shows. Television is, of course, no stranger to live sports and the various programs that surround them. Consider these unscripted American sports shows as honorable mentions: Hard Knocks, Last Chance U, Ken Burns’ Baseball, The Last Dance (and most other 30-for-30s), Cheer, Inside the NBA.

Enough of the undercard, now onto the main event. 

25. Red Oaks

Amazon Prime’s Red Oaks examines the bougie tennis lifestyle of the 1980s. It all comes through the lens of David Myers (Craig Roberts), a college student looking to pick up some cash by taking a summer job at an upscale Jewish country club in New Jersey. Sports stories and coming-of-age stories fit particularly well because the end goal of each one is usually growth. It’s hard to say whether David grows during his time at Red Oaks, but he certainly changes over the series’ three seasons. 

24. The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers

A TV show based on Disney sports movie behemoth franchise The Mighty Ducks was all but an inevitability, particularly when the major conglomerate secured its own streamer in Disney+. We’re all lucky then that The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers turned out to be quite good rather than completely perfunctory. The show is bold enough to recast its Ducks’ franchise as the villains and to rally around the radical idea that youth sports should be fun. 

23. One Tree Hill

At first glance, One Tree Hill doesn’t seem too different from the other teen shows of its era on The CW (though The CW was still “The WB” for One Tree Hill’s first two seasons). It’s about high schoolers in a small town, doing high school things. Where One Tree Hill excels (at least in its early, still high school seasons) is the introduction of basketball as a storytelling crutch. Half brothers Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) and Nathan Scott (James Lafferty) have a turbulent enough relationship to begin with. What better way to contextualize that relationship than through the high stakes lens of high school basketball?

22. Lights Out

Not to be confused with the 2016 horror film of the same name, Lights Out is a boxing series from FX that ran for one excellent season in 2011. Holt McCallany (best known now as Agent Bill Tench on Mindhunter) stars as retired heavyweight champion Patrick “Lights” Leary. Despite displaying signs of neurological trauma from his career, Lights can’t help but want to return to the ring for one more shot of glory (and to pay off his family’s many debts). Lights Out is a sad, elegiac little story about how one man who sees a sport that broke his brain as the only realistic option for success. 

21. Big Shot

Big Shot premiered shortly after its bigger-named Disney+ cousin The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers. And while Game Changers made a slightly bigger splash, Big Shot might be the better sports show. The story follows Marvyn Korn (John Stamos), a tempermental basketball coach who ends up at an elite all-girls prep school to shepherd its basketball program. Big Shot runs through all the tried and true tropes and beats of sports stories and does so with aplomb. Consider it Hardball meets Hoosiers with plenty of Stamos charm. 

20. Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper

Sports are somewhat incidental to Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper’s mission. Sure, lead character Mr. Cooper (Mark Curry) is a former Golden State Warriors basketball player turned PE teacher. But like its TGIF programming block peers, this show is a charming hangout comedy with few lasting conflicts to speak of. Still, you don’t spend that much time in a gym without some three-pointers and lay-ups. 

19. Coach

Before Craig T. Nelson was Mr. Incredible (or made this truly amazing televised statement), he was best known for portraying the title role in ‘90s ABC sitcom Coach. In fact, many of our archetypical perceptions of what makes a football coach likely come from Nelson’s portrayal of Coach Hayden Fox (who first coached for a fictional NCAA football team and later an NFL one). This is a man whose skill at molding young athletes belies his lack of skill at…well, everything else. Ultimately, Coach is a worthwhile multiseason experience in which a grown man grows up.

18. Kingdom

Kingdom is probably the best sports TV show that you’ve never heard of. Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. That’s just the kind of thing that happens when a show is damned to languish on AT&T’s ludicrous “Audience Network”. Kingdom is set in an MMA gym and captures all the drama provided in the heightened world of mixed martial arts combat. The show is blessed with some great characters and an even better cast. Frank Grillo (Captain America’s most annoying foe, Brock Rumlow), Kiele Sanchez (Lost), Matt Lauria (Friday Night Lights), Jonathan Tucker, (Justified)  and Nick Jonas (yes, that Nick Jonas) all make their mark on the series.

17. The White Shadow

Premiering in 1978, CBS’s The White Shadow was uncommonly progressive for its time. The series follows Ken Reeves (Ken Howard), a white NBA player who retires after a knee injury and elects to take up coaching at Carver High School in South Central Los Angeles. Coach Reeves’s team is made up primarily of Black and Hispanic players and the show deals with the social ills of life in the inner city. It’s also quite funny and charming and features a commitment to realistic basketball scenes.

16. The League

FX comedy The League works as a sports show (and as a TV show in general) because it has a deep understanding of sports from a fan’s perspective. Sure, fans watch collegiate and professional sports to marvel at the athleticism, training, and skill on display. But more importantly, they watch sports to have something to talk about with their friends. Though the participants in the titular fantasy football league at the center of The League grew up as friends, who’s to say they would have stayed friends so long without this league keeping them together? Ruxin (Nick Kroll) is an asshole. Andre (Paul Scheer) is annoying. And Taco (Jon Lajoie) is, well…Taco.

15. Rocket Power

If the ‘90s taught us anything it’s that extreme sports are sports too, man! Rocket Power is a lovely little slice of life Nick Toon that follows four kids in a fictional California surfing community. Otto Rocket, Reggie Rocket, Maurice “Twister” Rodriguez, and Sam “Squid” Dullard spend their days skateboarding, surfing, playing street hockey, and occasionally snowboarding. It’s a wonderful ode to childhood and all the athletic activities that make the day (and years) go by far too quickly. 

14. Luck

If things shook out differently, perhaps Luck could have been considered one of the five or so best sports shows of all time. All of the pieces were in place. This 2012 HBO series had the right creative team (created and run by Deadwood’s David Milch and starring Dustin Hoffman with a pilot directed by Michael Mann) to go along with an intriguing premise (complicated characters’ lives intersecting at a horse track). But alas…the dead horses. Oh so many dead horses. Despite stringent safety measures put in place, Luck lost three hoof bois during filming of its first season and was canceled shortly thereafter. May they all rest in peace.

13. All American

High school is a turbulent time in all our lives. And when the high stakes world of competitive football is added in, things can only get more intense. The CW’s All American opts to take the world of high school football and opts to add in a welcome dose of sociopolitical commentary. This series is loosely based on the life of former New York Giants linebacker Spencer Paysinger and follows his character “Spencer James” as he is recruited from South L.A. to play for the affluent Beverly Hills High. The show wisely understands that sports (particularly when they involve Black teenagers) are a marvelous portal to explore American society. 

12. Pitch

Cruelly cut short after just one season of 10 episodes, Pitch is the kind of sports show that will inspire sports stories for years to come. This baseball series for Fox comes from Dan Fogelman (This Is Us) and Rick Singer. It follows the saga of Ginny Baker (Kylie Bunbury), who becomes the first woman to play in Major League Baseball when she’s called up to pitch by the San Diego Padres. Pitch was blessed with an excellent cast including Bunbury and Mark-Paul Gosselaar as a veteran catcher nearing the end of his Hall of Fame career. More interestingly, it was blessed with an actual MLB licensing deal. There are no silly fictional teams in this show like the Tuscaloosa Barn-Burners or the Helena Hellcats. It’s all real MLB team names and logos, adding to the realism of a cool premise.

11. Ballers

Of course, Elizabeth Warren’s favorite show has to be on this list. Ballers has a bit of an unearned reputation for being cringe thanks to its ridiculous name and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s delightful cornball energy. In reality, this is an exceedingly watchable TV show and one that examines the corporate side of professional sports quite well. It’s also noticeable for being most viewers’ introduction to eventual Tenet star John David Washington. 

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10. GLOW

Is professional wrestling a sport? Vince McMahon would argue that it’s “sports entertainment.” I would argue that that’s more than good enough to get the excellent GLOW on this list. GLOW tragically fell victim to Netflix’s whimsical cancellation procedures. Why the almighty algorithm decided a show needed to be canceled after it was already renewed is beyond me. But don’t let that sour three seasons of superb sportsy storytelling. GLOW follows the fictionalized rise of the very real “Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling” and it centers it on the conflict between two former best friends, Ruther Wilder (Alison Brie) and Debbie Eagen (Betty Gilpin). GLOW differs a bit from the usual sports fare in that the “sport” at its center wasn’t necessarily plan A for the athletes. But the experience of watching the ladies train, grow, and succeed is pure and sublime sports story stuff.

9. Cobra Kai

Cobra Kai absolutely could have been phoned in. The streaming world runs on nostalgia and there’s nothing more sweetly nostalgic than The Karate Kid franchise. Instead, this Netflix series changes the original franchise’s perspective by focusing on the “villainous” Cobra Kai dojo and re-examines things from Johnny’s point of view. Ralph Macchio and William Zabka deserve credit for embodying realistically adult, yet flawed versions of their original characters. Equally deserving of credit though is a whole host of young actors bringing the martial arts to a whole new generation. 

8. Blue Mountain State

A lot of the shows on this list are, let’s say, reverential to the sports, teams, and athletes they cover. Spike comedy Blue Mountain State is decidedly…not. This series, following the Mountain Goats football team for the fictional college Blue Mountain State, understands that not all depictions of athletes have to be saints. Sometimes college football player can just be the big dumb animals you want them to be. Through three seasons, this show developed a cult following that would follow it over for a lifetime of reruns on Netflix. Blue Mountain State is crass, dangerous, and entertaining, not entirely unlike football.

7. Sports Night

Speaking of being reverential to sports…like all Aaron Sorkin-created TV series, Sports Night can be a bit full of itself sometimes. That only works when the topic at hand, like the federal branch of the U.S. government, is consequential. Thankfully, sports can be pretty important sometimes too! This late ‘90s show follows the goings-on at a Sportscenter-esque news program hosted by Dan Rydell (Josh Charles) and Casey McCall (Peter Krause). It has all the witty dialogue you’d come to expect from a Sorkin venture. And if you can make your way through the inexplicable laugh track of the early episodes, you will find a mature, entertaining show that properly understands and contextualizes professional sports’ role in American society. 

6. Survivor’s Remorse

Survivor’s Remorse came into the world with two strikes against it. One is a bizarrely overwrought name, and the other is that its home network, Starz, isn’t a given on many cable packages. Still, this LeBron James-produced comedy is shockingly one of the best sports TV shows ever (and perhaps still the best creative venture James has been involved in yet). This story follows NBA athlete Cam Calloway (Jessie T. Usher) as he tries to balance the business and basketball aspects of his life. At first the show focuses on Cam’s guilt for having got out of his impoverished neighborhood when so many couldn’t (hence, the show’s title), but ultimately it evolves into a family comedy drama featuring some truly remarkable characters and performances like Cam’s cousin and manager Reggie Vaughn (RonReaco Lee) and his baller half-sister “M-Chuck” (Erica Ash). Even Monica Rambeau herself, Teyonah Parris, is a part of the proceedings. 

5. Playmakers

Sometimes I can’t even believe that Playmakers is real. Surely, this ESPN series about a fictional football team in a fictional league that is clearly the NFL was just a post-9/11 fever dream we all endured together. Alas, Playmakers was real and it was awesome. This series follows the players on the Cougars as they navigate a football landscape filled with ripped-from-the-headlines strife including Performance enhancing drugs, good old-fashioned drugs, domestic abuse, concussions, and more. The series even introduces the outing of a gay player more than a decade before Michael Sam and Carl Nassib revealed their sexual orientations. Naturally, Playmakers was canceled when the NFL intimated to its broadcast partner ESPN that it wasn’t too pleased with the content of its show. And enraging the National Football League alone is enough to make this an all-time classic.

4. Eastbound & Down

Eastbound & Down creator and star Danny McBride isn’t necessarily a huge fan of baseball. But he is, thankfully, a huge fan of weirdos and creeps. When McBride discovered just how bizarre and poorly behaved certain flamethrowing relief pitchers could be, Kenny Powers and the show around him was born. The baseball “action” in Eastbound isn’t much to write home about. The show isn’t too concerned with the results of any given baseball game and McBride always looks like he’s throwing a javelin and not a baseball. It’s still a phenomenal saga about athletes that dives into Paul Bunyan-esque tales of legendary misbehavior that fame encourages. It’s no coincidence that in the follow ups to Kenny Powers, McBride has delved into megalomaniacal vice principals and bejeweled, sweaty televangelists – all different aspects of the white American male id.

3. Ted Lasso

Of all the sports shows in the TV canon, none feels more like a traditional sports movie than Ted Lasso. This Apple TV+ series plucks an American football coach-fish and gently places him out of water in the English Premier League. The affable Lasso (Sudeikis) is charged with reversing the fortunes of EPL side AFC Richmond. Little does he know, however, that spiteful owner Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddington) is counting on him to fail, Major League style. Ted Lasso isn’t interested in reinventing the wheel. Instead it perfects it. This is a tale of relentless optimism and unconditional positive regard. Ted breaks the mold for what we expect from coaches, which is probably why so many actual coaches are fond of the show. Simply put: sports stories can’t be done much better than this one. 

2. Brockmire

Sometimes commentators like to bemoan the modern state of baseball. What was once American’s pastime has now supposedly fallen behind things like football and videogames in the pop cultural pecking order. Then along comes something like Brockmire to teach us that baseball as a continuous, seemingly eternal American presence is just as vital as ever. In a career-defining role, Hank Azaria plays disgraced baseball broadcaster Jim Brockmire. Once at the top of his game, an on-air drunken meltdown loses him his job and his sanity. In season 1 of this superb IFC show, Brockmire returns to the booth, this time for an independent league team in Morristown, Pennsylvania. The four seasons that follow are one big love letter to not only baseball, but the messy human experience itself. It’s rare that you get something this funny and this affecting. The fact that it’s wrapped in a stylish diamond-shaped bow is just icing on the cake. 

1. Friday Night Lights

Not only is Friday Night Lights the best sports TV show of all time, it’s hard to imagine it ever being supplanted from its throne. Simply put, Friday Night Lights is a sports television masterpiece. Each of Friday Night Lights’ five seasons (save for the writer’s strike-shortened second) fully capture the ecstasy and agony of high school football in a small Texas town where high school football is the only thing that matters. Friday Night Lights doesn’t shy away from the unsavory institution that is big time high school athletics.

The series opens with a life-changing injury before following it up with tales of corrupt boosters and garden variety West Texas racism. And yet, the show never looks down on its characters. If winning state is important to Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler), Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford), Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch), Smash Williams (Gaius Charles), and Vince Howard (Michael B. Jordan), then it’s important to us too. In fact, when Friday Night Lights is really rolling and the W.G. Snuffy Walden’s Explosions in the Sky-style soundtrack is swirling, you might not recall anything ever mattering to you as much as the Dillon Panthers or the East Dillon Lions winning a football game. Clear eyes, full hearts, absolutely cannot lose.

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[slytherin-team]

On Petunia Evans Dursley, or how I imagine & re-imagine her character

So, I re-read HP and Snape’s memories of Lily and Petunia really stood out to me. 

Since re-reading the whole series, I’ve become a bit obsessed with Snape and Petunia.

I want to talk about Petunia’s character.

Now, I like starving-her- nephew- and -locking- him -in- a- cupboard Aunt Petunia as much as the next person (which is to say, not at all)

However, Petunia’s character has to be one of the things that bothers me most about HP or one of the things that I see as the biggest missed opportunity on JKR’s part.

Now, I don’t entirely blame JKR for making Petunia a one-dimensional villain. HP started out as a children’s book and the Dursleys are very much like Matilda’s family. They’re just there to be entirely awful and also to contrast muggle “ordinariness” with wizard “specialness.” Additionally, everyone is familiar with the fairytale evil stepmother and Petunia fills that cliched trope as well.

But as the series becomes darker and less for children and as we learn more about the complicated history between muggles and wizards, the presence of only one-dimensional (Dursleys, at least the parents) or barely present (the Grangers) muggles becomes rather irksome, considering how the war is all about prejudice towards muggles and muggle-borns.

These things didn’t bother me or even occur to me so much as a kid reading the series and that’s why I can’t entirely blame JKR on this one thing. She knew her target audience (kids) would identify with the witches and wizards, see the muggles as boring and dull like the adults around them, and not care so much about the broader picture. 

I don’t know if my new way of looking at the series comes from simply re-reading it, or more specifically, from being an adult re-reading it, but I find myself super interested in examining what it means to be a muggle who is aware of the magical world and this what draws me to Aunt Petunia.

If I could make any change to the series, I would make Petunia a more gray, nuanced and fleshed out character, much like Snape (who I actually think she is very similar to and I’ll get into that). She would still give preferential treatment to her own son, but she would not outright abuse Harry by starving him or locking him up. She would ensure he’s well-fed and healthy but she would not be affectionate with him, but rather cold and distant, so similar to how she already acts but minus the serious abuse. 

 I would pepper in moments where Petunia stares at Harry with empty eyes or glances at him while he’s not looking. I would have Harry notice these small moments from time to time and wonder why his Aunt takes care of him yet is so cold towards him. He would unravel this mystery of her behavior, just as he unraveled Snape’s and Petunia would get a redemption arc, like Snape. I haven’t thought of all the details but I like the idea of her getting more involved later in the series and being a useful muggle character. Eventually, she would open up about Lily as well and reveal her regrets. She would also have a heart to heart with Harry and wish him luck before going into hiding.

Vernon would still be a jerk but not outright abusive because Petunia wouldn’t allow for that. Dudley would still get away with his bullying, particularly when Petunia is out of sight, but maintain the growth he did show in the series, perhaps taking it a bit further.

As much as I prefer my version of Petunia, the actual Petunia we get, while not a good or redeemable person by any means, is still really great as a character and as a villain, she has a good origin story.

Hate adult Petunia all you want, but child Petunia, in my opinion, is nothing but sympathetic and probably one of the most relatable characters in the series, and I will go through this.

We all wish the HP world was real, but of course, if it was, we’d all want to be witches and wizards. We all want to go to Hogwarts. 

Severus tells Lily, “It’s real for us, not for her.”

He’s right and he’s wrong. It’s real for Petunia, she just can’t be a part of it.

Now, personally, I think being a squib would feel a lot more unfair than being a muggle with muggle parents whose sibling just happens to be a witch and even if Petunia’s parents did favor Lily for being a witch, they can’t be prejudice towards Petunia for her lack of magic when they lack magic themselves. 

But squibs might actually be looked down upon by their magical parents and they seem to have no choice but to enter the muggle world even though they grew up in the magical world, and if they do stay in the magical world, they’re seen as lesser and I can’t imagine there’s much for them to do. Maybe they could work in Muggle relations but that’s not given much prestige (even though it should be an important thing) Petunia feels barred from the magical world but at least she doesn’t have to leave her own world. 

Still, Petunia is just a kid and she doesn’t know about all the intricacies of the magical world or about squibs. She just sees that her sister has abilities that she doesn’t and access to a really exciting world that she doesn’t. So, her jealousy and feelings of inferiority are totally understandable. 

Of course, in her jealousy of Lily, lack of knowledge about the intricacies of the magical world, and overall myopic view because of her youth, I think there’s something that Petunia doesn’t realize.

Lily is also in a difficult position, perhaps in some ways more difficult than Petunia. At least Petunia has a clear line. She’s a muggle and can fit into the muggle world.

Lily is a witch, so despite being born into the muggle world, she’s different, but that doesn’t mean she can fully integrate into the magical world. In some ways, the prejudice against muggle-borns and the specific slur for them makes them seem more hated and distrusted by certain segments of the wizarding world than even muggles themselves. 

And Lily graduated Hogwarts at the time of Voldemort’s rise and we’re told that the first wizarding war was much more intense than the second. Marlene Mckinnon and her entire family were killed. Voldemort had a bunch of creatures on his side. Petunia could be blissfully ignorant of all this and cocoon herself in her safe “ordinary” world at least. Safety didn’t seem like a choice for Lily, although she certainly had agency and chose to fight for the Order. But it seems that muggleborns would be hunted regardless.

Perhaps if Petunia had realized this, she would have had more sympathy for her sister and also realize that she herself  is lucky in some regards. Maybe she could have cultivated her own talents and focused on them instead of putting all of her energy into being jealous and petty.

I also have this other idea I like, of Petunia developing healthy coping mechanisms to deal with her jealousy and then finally embracing the magical world - instead of turning away from it entirely to be as “ordinary” as possible- and then becoming the muggle version of Arthur Weasley- that is, a muggle who is a bit of a “magicphile” 

Getting back on track, Petunia’s ordinariness could be her strength, at least as a character, it makes her relatable. Young Petunia, like young Severus, is the underdog, and that sort of makes you want to cheer for her or at least see her get a slice of the cake at least once in her life.

While I’ve grown to like Lily as a character more because of my re-analysis of her situation - which makes her an underdog too- I used to really hate her, for the same reason Petunia hated her. Like really? This girl has powerful magic, is beautiful, gregarious, kind, brave, strong, loved and desired by everyone...yadda yadda yadda...gimme a break! 

And so many fans who love Lily don’t realize that they’re probably Petunias, not Lilies.

Even looking at the flowers themselves- petunias are actually really beautiful and come in such a wide variety (the night sky petunia is my favorite) - and yet they’re often overlooked because they’re so common.

James is an awful bully but at least that counteracts his perfectness in every other area (looks, school, sports, etc) What are Lily’s flaws? What does she struggle with other than being muggleborn? It seems that maybe both she and James were too naive and trusting (not to victim-blame her for her own death or anything) but what else? We’re not told and so she just seems perfect, not very interesting for a character.

A lot of the things Petunia says as a child that fans interpret as mean or revealing of her hatred of magic from a young age, are actually things she seems to regurgitate from the adults around her. 

For example, when Lily is flying from a swing, Petunia chides her by saying, “mom, told you not to do that!” Although we know Petunia’s parents favored Lily, I get the sense that their favoritism and even awareness of Lily’s magic didn’t come until after the Hogwarts letter, which is when a representative would have come to the family to explain things. Before then...I’m not sure but maybe her parents didn’t realize what was going on and just didn’t want her jumping out of swings? Anyway, I think Petunia is just trying to be the responsible older sister and is repeating her mother.

I’m pretty sure when Lily makes the flower grow, Petunia gets a bit freaked out and maybe also says something about how she shouldn’t be doing that but she’s also described as asking Lily how she does it, with “longing” in her voice. So she’s juggling trying to be the responsible older sister with being totally weirded out because how the heck is her sister making flowers grow in her hand, to being curious, and this is when her burgeoning envy (totally understandable) starts to emerge as well.

Then little Snape enters the picture to unintentionally erode the sisters’ relationship even further. It’s also here that Petunia makes another comment that fans point to as proof of her snobbery and cruelty from a young age, but actually, it’s just proof that she took what adults told her to heart, and since she was older than Lily, she probably heard more gossip and knew more about their town in general.

After Snape pops out to tell Lily she’s a witch and that he’s a wizard, Petunia is the first of the sisters to speak.

Here’s the direct quote from Petunia: “Wizard! I know who you are. You’re that Snape boy! They live down Spinner’s End by the river,” 

This little statement is endlessly fascinating to me, it raises so many questions.

Why does Petunia know who Snape is? Why does she recognize him? How does she know his name and what he looks like? We know adult Petunia is nosy and loves watching all the neighbors. Was child Petunia snooping around, if so then how close did Snape live to the sisters? How close is the sisters’ house to Spinner’s End and the river? 

If she was snooping around, then it’s kind of ironic that she was spying on Snape while he was spying on her and Lily ( he says he’s been watching Lily but Lily is always with Petunia outside so even if it’s not intentional, he’s watching Petunia too) Even if she was snooping around, why would Petunia wander to Spinner’s End? Does she share Harry’s deathly curiosity and adventurous streak? She says “they” so does she know what Snape’s parents look like? How much does she know about the family and his home life?

My first thought actually wasn’t that she was snooping around but rather, that she was regurgitating the nasty things that adults had said. But this raises another question, which adults? We’re told later that Snape and Lily sneak into Petunia’s room to read her letter to Dumbledore, which means that Snape was in the Evan’s family’s home, and we also know that the Evans parents are impressed by witches and wizards, so it would seem that they approved of Snape. 

So then, who would have told Petunia about the Snape family? Did she just hear rumors and gossip about them from older townsfolk? I always imagine Lily as either 9 or 10 and Petunia as either 11 or 12 in this scene, only a two year difference between them but at that age, it’s enough for Petunia to be more involved in what adults are saying and for Lily to be oblivious.

From here, Petunia asks Severus why he’s been spying, and again, she seems like the protective sister. I really like her in this scene. I don’t interpret her as snobby or classist. She’s too young. I see her as a kid influenced by the adults around her and as sort of a gryffindor/slytherin hybrid, bravely stepping between her sister and the strange boy calling her a witch, while also being judgemental of outsiders.I think she possesses a lot of the qualities of both Lily and Severus.

This scene is also when Sev spitefully calls Petunia a muggle, a word she had never heard before but immediately recognizes as inferior. 

“Haven’t been spying. Wouldn’t spy on you any. You’re a muggle.”

It’s shown later that all three of these kids love to spy and snoop around (not unlike the golden trio - except they’re not spying with each other but on each other) but Sev and Petunia definitely share a heightened nosiness, a certain degree of haughtiness, a superiority complex coupled with an inferiority complex, and a strong sense of self-preservation and pride that is very slytherin. Opposites may attract but I think it’s the couples with common ground that last, and enemies-friends-lovers will never go out of style, so the potential set-up for Snetunia is just too good to pass over and plays a big role in why I love shipping them together.

Okay, and after this, Petunia then spies on Lily and Sev. The “she’s jealous. You're special. She’s ordinary” line is in the movie not the book but I love it because it encapsulates Petunia’s insecurities perfectly and also shows how Sev puts Lily on a pedestal, and the magical world as a whole on a pedestal. It’s sad that he gets abused at Hogwarts after being abused at home but it also just goes to show that wizards, witches and muggles are all just people and not necessarily inferior or superior to one another.

Petunia overhears Sev telling Lily about the dementors and that’s when she loses her footing and gets caught spying. Sev then shouts, “Who’s spying now! What d’you want?” I find it interesting how Sev and Petunia mirror each other so much.

This is when Petunia insults Sev by saying “What are you wearing anyway? Your mother’s blouse?” She obviously has nothing to say in regards to the spying accusation because she was so obviously spying, so she tried to deflect it with an insult. She’s just as defensive as Sev. After she says, the infamous tree branch incident happens, in which Sev gets revenge by making a tree branch fall over her head. This is what prompted Petunia, years later, to refer to Sev as “that awful boy” when she reveals to Harry that she knows what the dementors are because she “overheard that awful boy talking about them.”

Okay, onto the Hogwarts letter, which raises many questions as well.

“You shouldn’t have read – ”  Petunia had whispered, “that was my private – how could you – ?”.

Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Severus stood nearby. 

Petunia gasped. “That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!” 

“No – not sneaking – ” Now Lily was on the defensive. “Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn’t believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that’s all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of – ”

Okay, so this is soooo interesting. 

Adult Petunia is presented as a woman with a long neck who always has her nose in other people’s business and she’s not much different as a child. But despite this trait being used to amplify her villain role, it seems the “good guys” and the “grey guys” love meddling in this way as well. 

I really feel for Petunia in this scene. I think that Hogwarts letter and Dumbledore’s reply rejecting her (even if it was kind) was one of the biggest moments of failure, disappointment and embarrassment in her life and remember, she’s probably about 2 years older than Lily so she would be 13 here and that’s just not a nice age either and I think that makes losing her sister and being rejected hurt even more. Privacy is such a big deal when you’re 13 too, that’s like peak private diary age, so to have your little sister and her gross friend sneaking into your room at that time, what an invasion that must feel like.

But….what the heck was going through Sev’s mind?!?

I doubt Lily suggested that she and Sev sneak into Petunia’s room. Why would Sev want to go into Petunia’s room? She’s just a muggle after all. He sees the letter, but how? After going into her room?

He couldn’t believe a muggle contacted Hogwarts? Was he secretly impressed by her? He thinks there must be wizards undercover in the muggle postal service...well we’re never told how Petunia sends the letter but it’s often said that there’s more to her than meets the eye. I like to think she was cunning, determined, smart and slytherin enough to find out how to send the letter on her own and that’s probably what made Dumbldore even reply. I think she’s someone who always had a lot of potential but was crippled by feelings of inferiority and self-doubt, much like Severus.

Petunia and Severus both obsess over Lily to the point that it destroys them. Petunia, in her jealousy, deep down worries that Lily is better than her and compensates for this by calling her a freak. Sev never takes Lily off the pedestal even as they begin to grow apart and just as Petunia sinks deeper into her “ultra ordinary” prejudiced persona, Sev sinks deeper into his half-blood prince persona. He hates muggles because of his father, while Petunia hates magic (or pretends to) because of her sister. Sev and Petunia are two sides of the same coin then. They both also never go on to reconcile with Lily and they go on to resent her son while also protecting him.

I said it at the beginning of all this rambling, but I’ll say it again - I wish Petunia had been as layered and grey as Sev, instead of just the bland evil stepmother figure.

So, just to be clear, the adult Petunia we get in the actual books is deplorable but I still love her character because I love how many more satisfying ways there are to re-imagine her and what she could have been. Snape’s memories - the only time we see Petunia’s past - are so rich and revealing and just have me endlessly fascinated about Petunia’s potential.

This was super long but I’ve been dying to word vomit about this character - and I’ll probably do some more word vomit meta about Snape & Petunia later on ~

Oh and regarding what it means to be a muggle in the magical world or adjacent to the magical world - don’t even get me started on the statute of secrecy! Maybe one of the reasons Petunia did turn out so awful was because she had to bear the burden of knowing about magic but not being part of it all by herself, like she couldn’t just tell her friends her sister is a witch and vent. So, maybe she had to bottle everything up.

She also mentions in the book, her sister bringing home frogs and turning them into tea cups - to an outsider maybe that looks like animal abuse or raises ethical questions.

Obliviating muggles certainly seems unethical to me and the ministry does it with great abandon.

I wish this was explored more in the series.

Petunia has a right to be skeptical it would seem, and naturally fearful as well.

#aunt petunia #petunia evans dursley #severus snape #lily evans potter #harry potter #meta #analysis #muggles #pro-snape #slytherin #statute of secrecy #interpretation #word vomit #long post

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 1

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

This story is, as advertised, fucked up. It’s inspired by the recent influx of Dark!Steve and Dark!Tony fics and there is a lot of potentially triggering material so please read with caution. Our heroes are not heroes in this story; they’re criminals with limited to no consciences. 

There weren’t many things that Penny Parker could really rely on. Her paychecks fluctuated unfathomably every two weeks, the electricity bill was never consistent, and for some reason even when she drove her car dry it never took the same amount of gas to fill the tank. Peter’s class schedule seemed to change every time she asked about it, his after-school club activities were never on the same day, and why did she have to sign this report card but not last quarter’s, Pete? Consistency was something she’d learned not to hope for. Mostly she kept her fingers crossed that things would somehow work out to her advantage, day by day.

For the most part, it did. She’d dropped out of high school when uncle Ben died to start working, to help support aunt May and Peter. It had taken three years to get her GED between the three jobs she worked, but she managed. GED accomplished, she checked off that box on her mental list and signed up for night classes at the local community college. It was hard, but she could make it work. Then aunt May had died.

Custody of 14 year old Peter Parker had been hotly contested, as Penny had only been 21 at the time of aunt May’s death. Technically, she was an adult. She had two jobs, a steady income, an apartment, a decent credit score. Somehow, like most things in her life, it had just kind of worked out and she was granted sole custody of her younger brother. She’d dropped her night classes, picked up a third job overnight, and kept her fingers crossed that social services never asked why her “two bedroom apartment” only had one bedroom.

Semi-decent luck was the only thing that really kept her life running, and by extension Peter’s. She knew it would wear off someday, she’d been granted the lion’s share of good fortune in Queens when it came to looking after her brother and it wasn’t super fair. She just didn’t think it would end so spectacularly. The end of the luck was supposed to be a low, painful fizzle.

Instead, it was a flashbang that started with Peter acting like a cokehead. Peter had never been a particularly twitchy kid; Penny had leeched all the chaotic energy from their mother’s womb and left the intelligence behind for her kid brother. Over the course of several months though, he’d begun jumping at the drop of a hat. Penny would turn the corner into the kitchen and startle him so badly he’d have an asthma attack. If she even glanced at his phone when a notification lit up the screen he’d lose his mind, accusing her of not respecting his privacy and dart away into his room. Asking if he needed anything from the store was suddenly the Spanish Inquisition and god forbid she offer him a ride to school.

Because she’d graciously left all the IQ points for Peter, Penny had a tendency to do stupid things. Like assume Peter’s behavior was because he had gotten a girlfriend or was just going through usual teenage boy hormones that made him act like a jackass. Luckily the dumbass wasn’t actually a cokehead, considering he still blanched whenever she had weed in the house, but fuck if he wasn’t acting like a freak. It came to a head when she happened to be coming home from her second job at the same time he was getting home from one of his after-school club meetings.

She hadn’t been sure what she was seeing at first. It was definitely Peter, he’d hit a growth spurt finally and started to put on some height and muscle mass but was still a lanky little shit, and he was arguing with a man in a suit who was walking next to him. Both were being followed by a slow-moving car with blacked out windows and no front license plate. Peter’s body language was uncomfortable, arms crossed over his chest, shoulders angled away from the man and tucked in, eyes down.

When Penny called out to Peter, the man had gotten into the backseat of the black car which promptly drove away. Her brother had gone red in the face and ran up the steps to their apartment complex without waiting for her to catch up, locking himself in the bedroom and refusing to come out when she followed him in. She’d given up on being the casual guardian, the cool big sister who let him live his life. Penny had begged him to come out, to tell her what was going on. She just wanted to help, how could she help him if he wouldn’t talk to her?

It had started with simple answers, after Penny had started to cry, through the door.

Who was that man? Tony Stark.

What did he want with Peter? To offer him a job.

Why were they arguing? Because Peter rejected the offer.

He was lying. Penny knew what it sounded like, the way his voice changed. She’d been glued to his side since their parents died when she was 13 and it had only gotten worse with uncle Ben’s passing. Peter was lying through his teeth and Penny had no idea why, no idea what to do. Helplessness had settled over her shoulders like a lead blanket, her chest tightening. If Peter was willing to lie to her, then whatever was happening with Tony Stark was really, really bad. And she had no fucking idea what to do.

***

“JARVIS, bring up Peter’s file.”

The voice cut through the silence of the car like a shot, Happy glancing at the man in the backseat through the rearview mirror questioningly. Usually his boss was in a pretty good mood after having harassed the high school kid he’d become obsessed with over the last several months, but the tone of his voice said otherwise.

“Of course, sir,” the AI responded dutifully from the Stark phone, a document appearing on the screen, “anything in particular, sir?”

“Peter told me he was emancipated after his aunt’s death and that he lived alone. I think my boy’s lying to me, J,” Tony’s voice was lower than usual, irritation apparent in his stony expression.

“Straight home, boss?” Happy asked quietly, humming in response when the man in the backseat nodded.

“Records show that Peter Parker is under the guardianship of one Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, relation: sister.”

“So he did lie to me,” Tony ran a hand over his goatee, sighing through the motion in disappointment before anger overcame him again, “You mean he lives in that shithole with someone? She’s supposed to be taking care of him, that place is a fucking drug den!”

“The police have indeed responded to 23 calls involving illicit drug use in that apartment complex in the last 10 days, sir. Another 10 calls were answered in response to domestic violence, 5 calls in regards to loitering, 7 calls in—”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” he waved his hand impatiently before the AI could recite every reason his boy shouldn’t be living in such a fucking pigsty, “tell me more about Penelope.”

The name was said with enough venom that Happy’s eyebrows went up, glancing once again at his boss in the rearview mirror as he navigated through the congested New York City streets.

“Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, born in New York City, New York. Dropped out of high school at 16, accomplished a GED at 19. Currently employed at Little Hands Daycare, Starbucks Coffee, and Kroger’s. Owner of a 2001 Toyota Camry, license plate 605-CEG, rents a one-bedroom apartment in Queens for $1,200 a month, credit score of 713, 1 speeding ticket, no medical insurance—”

“Stop,” Tony grit his teeth, tilting his head from side to side to crack his neck, “a one-bedroom apartment. No medical insurance. Didn’t even graduate from fucking high school. How the hell did she get custody of my boy?”

“Custody of Peter Parker went to his closest living relative, with the stipulation that social services kept up regular visits on account of the young age of the guardian. Records show that visits kept up for roughly 3 months before ending.”

“3 fucking months, those useless fucks,” it came out as a snarl, “look up the case workers, I want their names. And their heads. On a platter. Get a lock on their wifi signal, I want to know what they’re doing at all times. I already have a tracker on Peter, hack into the GPS on Penelope’s phone and keep track of her too.”

“The phone number listed on Ms. Parker’s work forms is a prepaid burner with no GPS capabilities. I can use triangulation to pick up on her general location when she connects to cell phone towers.”

“Seriously, a burner phone? Is she a drug dealer?” Tony’s eyes shot up to meet Happy’s in the mirror, “Oh my god is my baby’s guardian a drug dealer?”

“There is no evidence of any misconduct on the part of Ms. Parker, sir,” JARVIS stated calmly, despite the edge of infuriated panic from Tony, “she has no arrest record or suspicious activity.”

“That doesn’t mean anything and you know it JARVIS,” Tony pressed his head back into the cushion behind him, squeezing his eyes shut, “I’ve got to get him out of there, sooner rather than later. Happy, once we get home, start coordinating with Rhodey for extraction plans. JARVIS, keep an eye on any activity on their WiFi network.”

“Shall I connect to the webcam on the laptop computer, sir?”

“And the camera on my baby boy’s phone,” on his own phone, Tony opened his picture gallery to swipe through the images he already had of Peter, a small smile taking over his mouth in the process, “Keep any recorded video for at least 24 hours, let me know if anything interesting happens.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Happy, let’s get everyone ready for my boy’s homecoming,” Tony stated, shifting in his seat as they pulled into the private garage beneath Stark Tower, “its coming up sooner than we anticipated.”

***

Penny had started googling Tony Stark the moment she realized Peter wasn’t going to part with anymore information. The longer she sat in front of the laptop, the more panic began to grow in her chest.

Tony Stark was a bad man. A very, very bad man who made very, very dangerous weapons and had lots of very, very important and powerful people in his back pocket. There was no real evidence, of course. None of his misdeeds could be proven in court, none of the weapons he invented could be traced to his company, none of the people he practically owned would even admit to knowing the man. He was incredibly powerful and so fucking dangerous that Penny’s teeth ached at the thought of him even being near her baby brother.

“Fuck,” she muttered dragging both hands through her dark brown hair, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

There was no reason for a man like Tony Stark to be offering Peter a job. Sure, Peter was smarter than anyone she’d ever met. The kid’s IQ had to be off the charts, he’d gotten into that insanely expensive private science school in Midtown. But there was no reason for Tony Stark to recruit a high school senior, even if he was a budding genius.

“What are you doing Pen?” Peter’s voice was raspy from crying and the sound made Penny jump, turning in her seat to look at the teenager behind her.

“I’m…,” she glanced guiltily at the laptop before sighing, “I didn’t know who Tony Stark was off the top of my head. I had to look him up.”

Peter quickly reached out and closed the internet browser before shutting the lid of the laptop, running his hand through his hair in a way rather reminiscent of his sister, “You shouldn’t google him, he’s got enough of an ego that he probably gets an alert every time his name comes up.”

Penny bit her lip, rubbing her hands together in her lap before gathering as much courage as she could and pushing out the chair at the table next to her, “we need to talk, Pete. I need you to tell me the truth about why he was talking to you, no bullshit. I can’t help you if I don’t know the situation.”

The teenager hesitated for all of 30 seconds before dropping into the chair, his expression one of dismay, “I can’t tell you anything, Penny. Its too dangerous, he could hurt you—”

“I’m not worried about me, Peter,” she cut him off, hand rising when he started to open his mouth again, “Stop. Listen. Its my job to take care of you, to keep you safe. Start from the top, how did you meet Tony Stark?”

Another hesitation, eyes darting away from her face before he answered, “on accident. He saw me on the street, I was looking for a job at one of the coffee shops near school.”

Penny held her tongue, refusing to lecture him on getting a job and derailing the current conversation, “and he approached you?”

“Yeah,” Peter rubbed a hand over the back of his head, “Asked me my name, about my uniform. Asked me if I liked science since I went to a special school. I thought it was cool, he runs a research and development laboratory. Then he started… showing up in different places.”

“You think he was in those places deliberately?” The question was a quiet prompt when Peter seemed to clam up and he nodded in response.

“It was weird, but I… I liked the attention,” it was whispered, tears gathering in his eyes as shame built in his chest, “He told me how, how smart I was and how impressed he was by me. Talked to me about science and then just… about me. He wanted to know what kinds of things I liked to do for fun, what kind of movies I liked. I kind of thought we were friends but then…”

“Its okay, Peter,” Penny reached out and grabbed both of his hands in hers carefully, tears in her eyes as well, “what happened then?”

“He started getting handsy,” he murmured, a shiver going down his spine, “at first it was just, just like him putting his hand on my back when we walked through a door. Or he’d put his arm over the back of my chair and touch my shoulder. It was weird because he was an adult but… he’s handsome, Pen. He’s really, really handsome and I was excited because he was interested in me for some reason but now I realize that it wasn’t good and it’s not good and I shouldn’t have let him and I’m so sorr—”

“Don’t say sorry, Pete,” a quiet sob escaped Penny’s mouth and she covered it with her hand, the other still clutching at his, “Don’t apologize, you have done nothing wrong. Oh God, Peter, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I noticed that you’d started acting differently but I passed it off. Oh my God, I should’ve talked to you so much sooner. I should’ve asked what was going on. How long has this been going on, Peter?”

He was quiet for so long that another sob was ripped from Penny’s lips and she shot forward, dragging her little brother into a nearly suffocating hug. Fuck, fuck how long had that piece of shit been conditioning her little brother. That fucking pedophile how long had he been stalking her little brother. Fuck the age of consent in New York, fuck the law, Peter was a baby—he was a fucking child.

“You don’t have to answer, Peter, its okay,” it was a soft whisper, her hand carding through his hair while he cried against her, “I’m going to figure something out, okay? I don’t know what yet, but I’m going to make sure that he leaves you alone. I’m going to take care of this, I’m going to take care of you.”

“You can’t, Penny,” his cries were breathy and quiet, “you can’t take care of me this time, he’ll hurt you—”

Penny couldn’t say it out loud, because Peter would lose his mind, but Penny would let Tony Stark murder her in front of an audience if it meant he’d leave Peter alone. Every promise she’d ever made, to her mother on her deathbed, to aunt May on hers, was to keep Peter safe. To make sure he had every opportunity. Peter was so smart, he had so much potential, if she could just give him the chance, if she could just get him to the point where he could make something of himself—then she would consider her life perfect. She’d die knowing she had done her job, she’d opened the gates for her brother’s success.

“I’ll figure it out Peter, one way or another.”

#steve rogers x oc x bucky barnes #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #dark!tony stark #background starker #dark!mcu #let's review #let's review chapter 1

[charpaige]

my canon chenry fantasy

Here’s how I would’ve made Chenry canon. This is a little bit over 2,300 words to compensate for the slow burn they should’ve got.

For starters, I would’ve started their relationship in Season 3. I know, I know, what about starting it in Season 1? We’ll let Henry enjoy all of his little love trysts in the first two seasons since those were actually pretty important to his character growth. It also allowed Charlotte and Henry to really bond and have some really important conversations. So, we keep those.

But, one of my favorite tropes is when someone close to a superhero gets kidnapped and they realize how important that kidnapped person is to them.

I would’ve had Charlotte get kidnapped by a new villain. A female villain too, since we barely had any of those. She’d be like Rick Twittler in a way. Since she shows up unexpected and adds a level of seriousness that the show hadn’t possessed yet. Let’s call her Miss H.

And of course, Charlotte being kidnapped drives Henry crazy because hey, one of his best friends are missing and it seems like Schwoz and Ray aren’t doing enough to bring her back.

So, Henry decides to take matters into his own hands. And predictably, he fails miserably in his rescue attempt and ends up captured with Charlotte.

While waiting for Ray and Schwoz to rescue them, the two of them have some serious bonding for a few days. They talk about missing Oreo milkshakes, wonder about what happened to Jasper’s bucket collection, and dramatically fantasize about their youth like they’re knocking on death’s door.

When Captain Man finally makes it to where Charlotte and Henry are captured, they’re moved to a room by Miss H’s goons with a two-way mirror so they could see the showdown between Ray and Miss H. There’s a countdown for ten minutes in the room, but they have no idea what it does.

However, it seems like Captain Man does. Because he looks towards the mirror with concern while Miss H. gives her monologue about her villainous ways.

Henry and Charlotte watch the fight and look back and forth between that and the timer while freaking out together, and not knowing what to do. Once the timer hits the half-way mark, they unexpectedly reach for each other’s hand, squeezing a little too tight.

And then, in typical Captain Man fashion and for television like suspense, he manages to stop Miss H. and stop the timer with one second left to spare. Henry and Charlotte respond by immediately hugging each other and jumping for joy with huge smiles on their faces.

Unexpectedly, their faces are inches apart from all the excitement, they’re out of breath in a good way, and their hearts are racing from anxiety and jubilation. But their eyes meet like they’ve never met before and lean into a kiss.

But they don’t get to kiss since Captain Man barges in and makes them jump apart like they were doing something illegal.

From there, Henry and Charlotte have a hard time talking about the almost kissing incident. It’s a little awkward and they can’t even share a bowl of popcorn without fear of their hands touching.

But they eventually talk it out. It was all in the moment they say. It just felt right at the time they say. It doesn’t mean anything and they’re still best friends they convince themselves.

Everything is cool till Charlotte gets a boyfriend. Which, completely throws Henry for a loop because what the heck, who is this guy, and why does he think he’s good enough for Charlotte.

But Henry sees how happy he makes Charlotte, how well he treats her, and how annoyingly cute they look working on LIMP projects together. So, he lets them be and keeps his jealously to himself. But they still remain pretty close and everything is seemingly normal.

Until normalcy starts to go down the drain. Because Henry and Charlotte are closer than ever now that she has a boyfriend, which is weird. But knowing that Henry doesn’t have to deal with his feelings for his best friend makes their interactions a little better. And every time Charlotte shows up to work with her boyfriend with their hands laced together, Henry gets used to the small uneasiness in his stomach and smiles a little bigger because his bestie is happy.

But happiness might as well be a pair of black jeans since it fades over time. Suddenly, Henry gets a little frustrated that he has to watch Charlotte so happy while being a sidekick to a superhero is taking a toll on his mental health, school grades, and his ability to be a teenager.

But Henry keeps it to himself since he doesn’t want to feel like a bother with his problems. Until the Christmas episode that is.

I’d keep it the same as Season 5’s episode with Ray and Henry saving Christmas trees. Except Charlotte is throwing a small Christmas party at her place with some of her class friends and Henry was supposed to be there to take a breather from being Kid Danger.

But he’s Henry with a good heart. So, he has to save Christmas even though he’s kind of sick of saving everything and not being able to hang out with his friends.

Henry arrives late to the Christmas party after everyone’s left except Jasper’s passed out on the couch from drinking too much eggnog with gingerbread crumbs all over his face.

Charlotte gives Henry a cup of hot chocolate and they sit by the fireplace where Charlotte makes him spill the beans on how he’s been doing since they barely get to talk anymore.

He makes her go first since he knows Charlotte gets an ear full of talking men since she works in the Man Cave. She fills him on accelerated testing, joining the newspaper committee, and some crime tracking system she and Schwoz had been working on in the Man Cave.

However, he’s caught off guard when she reveals that she and her boyfriend broke up a while ago. Henry had been so busy and sleep-deprived he didn’t even notice them not eating lunch together, holding hands, and at the library together.

He wants to be nosey and ask a whole bunch of questions, but her answer to them wanting to be just friends sufficed enough.          

So, Henry finally got to rant and rave about how tired he is of being Kid Danger sometimes, how much his grades are suffering, and how much he misses being the Three Musketeers with Jasper and Charlotte. He manages to leave out the fact he has a massive crush on her.

Which is hard since she looks really pretty in her forest green sweater, a Santa hat headband, and her hair straightened for her yearly layered haircut.

Charlotte puts her hand over his and does what she does best, makes him feel better while telling him how to go about his next moves to get his life back. After the serious talk is over, they vibe and catch up and Jasper wakes up to join them like it’s old times.

Jasper says his goodbyes to Henry and Charlotte and dashes home to do a weird Christmas ritual with his mother. This leaves Henry and Charlotte awkwardly standing in the doorway and saying their goodbyes with a hug. They smile a little sheepish after they separate, but Charlotte’s eyes briefly glance upwards and slightly widen.

Henry follows her line of sight and notices the culprit of her gaze, mistletoe above the doorframe that had been forgotten.

Henry coughs awkwardly and quickly says goodnight in an attempt to get out of there as soon as possible. Except Charlotte reaches for him and stops him in his tracks.

She’s looking up at him like the last almost kissing incident and Henry just thickly swallows waiting for her next move.

“You know how much I hate breaking holiday traditions.” And Charlotte leans into him and kisses him on the cheek.

Henry knows he’s embarrassingly flushed and his mouth his probably slightly agape, because who is this version Charlotte and why was mistletoe only around on Christmas?

But he’s Henry, so he’s cool and suave (yeah, right), and he smiles and wishes her a good night.

He somehow floats his way home and doesn’t stop thinking about the kiss till he falls asleep.

But the cheek kiss suddenly freaks him out while he’s eating breakfast, because what the heck does it even mean??? Does she like him? Are they on the path to being more than friends? Or does Charlotte really just love holiday traditions and he’s a victim of circumstance?

All the thinking drives him crazy, so he finally turns to Jasper to ask about what any of it means. From the beginning when they almost kissed to now. And unsurprisingly, Jasper just shrugs and says, “I dunno.”

So, Henry remains really conscious about his crush on Charlotte and unsure if their best friendship is in danger (ha, get it? ‘cuz he’s Henry/Kid Danger, yeah okay it’s not funny) or worthy of something more.

It’s up in the air till they kiss in I Dream of Danger and become official. Instead of Charlotte being freaked out by the dreams because of her inability to see Henry in a romantic way, she’s freaked out because she’s afraid of their relationship changing.

They’ve been Henry and Charlotte. The best friends for the longest amount of time. A friend turned romantic relationships usually turn out well, but she’s worried about theirs going down in flames and losing her best friend for the rest of her life.

But Henry reassures her that everything between them is going to be fine whatever path their relationship takes. And they can talk about it later when she’s not feet away from a hungry lion.

So, he rescues her and they don’t kiss, but instead, she hugs him really tight for basically saving her life.

Later on, Henry walks her home since he’s afraid to let her out of his sight now. And they talk a little bit more about their feelings for each other and admit that their relationship has been on its ups and downs.

When they’re at Charlotte’s doorstep, they get awkward since they both got a lot off of their chests in a short amount of time.

Henry has his hands in his pockets. “So, yeah…” he trails off.

She anxiously laughed. “Yeah, so what now?”

“I don’t know. Should we try the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing?” He’s looking at the ground when he says it since this is the most nervous he’s ever been in his whole life.

“Well, I like you and you like me, so I guess it makes sense?”

“You guess?” Henry laughs.

Charlotte playfully rolls her eyes at him. “You know what I mean.”

They smile really big at each other and banter a little more till the air gets serious again. The conversation truly feels like it’s at its end now, so Henry goes in for the final blow.

“Can I kiss you?” Henry has to ask because hey, we love consent.

Charlotte nods frantically while saying yes.

And then they kiss. It’s terse but sweet and they’re both in astonishment afterward, since wow, I just kissed my best friend and it was actually kind of great.

They awkwardly part ways after that but then we get separate scenes of how happy they are. We get to see Charlotte run upstairs to her bedroom to scream into her pillow in glee. And we get to see Henry jumping up and down in excitement and punching the air. And yeah, Chenry is canon at that point.

Chenry dates officially in front of the audience from the beginning of Season 4. The first episode from that season is Sick & Wired, so we open with Charlotte taking care of a sick Henry and her remaining by his side. Ray thinks they’re lying to hang out together since they’re dating, so he still convinces Jasper to wear a wire and blah blah blah, you’ve probably seen the episode.

And yeah, so imagine official Chenry for all of Season 4 and 5. They’re not super-duper romantic and always engaging in PDA since it’s a self-proclaimed ‘kid’s show’ and I want kids to know that you don’t have to always be kissing and all over each other to be in love or in a relationship.

So, we’d just occasionally see Henry and Charlotte holding hands while sitting on the couch, Henry’s arm around Charlotte’s shoulder, the two of them sharing food and drink, them smiling super big at each other in the background when other characters are talking.

The occasional kiss could involve forehead kisses, cheek kisses, and even hand kisses because those are so wholesome and underrated. Plus, I’d want there to be a running gag that Jasper never gets to see Henry and Charlotte kiss. Since, The Bucket Trap he really wanted to see them kiss, so what’s better than to not have them kiss. It’d also be for Jace and Riele’s sake too not gonna lie. Since I’m sure that’s awkward and people ship them enough in real life.

But yeah, Jasper only sees Chenry holding hands, long hugs, and other romantic shit. And in the last episode, they offer to kiss in front of him to appease him, but there’s a power outage as soon as they go in for it and Jasper misses the whole thing with a dramatic “Noooooo!”

Canon Chenry also means we get a prom episode where they look awesome in a matching tuxedo and dress. We get a Valentine’s episode that lets them go on a date. We’d get graduation day Chenry in their caps and gowns.

Matching costume Chenry for Halloween. Like, imagine the two of them wearing a peanut butter and jelly costume where they’re each a slice of smeared bread. And Jasper gets to be a milk carton and maybe his significant other could be a chocolate chip cookie. Idk, I’m just rambling at this point.

So, yeah, that’s all I got. 

#henry danger #chenry #henlotte #henry hart #charlotte page

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Lucifer Morningstar is an introvert.  A very awkward and unusual introvert.

In an attempt to not create a bunch of random side-blogs, I’m just going to drop this here.  Sorry Doctor Who/Torchwood fans.

With the whole covid-19 thing, I’ve been trapped at home more than I had anticipated recently and I was looking for something a bit more fun and frivolous to watch so I finally gave Lucifer a go.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get to this, my brother had watched it when it was on tv and had mentioned it in passing several times.  Suffice to say, once I finally gave into Netflix, I found it to be quite an enjoyable watch.

What really struck me in the serious is how it becomes obvious that Lucifer is an introverted character who is hurt.  Wait - what you are thinking?  He’s an introvert?  Oh man, he’s totally a huge introvert.

Let me walk you through why he’s clearly an introvert despite a quick glance at his outward actions.

1.) Hiding in plain sight. 

An interesting aspect to his personality is how he hides in plain sight.  When he moves to LA, he rents the building that houses Lux and his penthouse suite.  Lux is a place where he is surrounded by people, if he wants to partake in revelry all he needs to do is go downstairs and party with people in the club.  However, he can also retreat to his place easily which is surprisingly well stocked with books and another piano for him to play in private.  I doubt all of his books are for show, he frequently denies thinking deeply about things, but he always seems to be one step ahead of others which has always implied to me he plays the “I’m smarter than I look/act” card.  Early on in the show, he occasionally invited people up to his place to party but it wasn’t a common experience.  Think of the pizza delivery guy being invited to stay and party.

Despite his love of drinking, drug use and sex, he makes it quite clear that drinking and drug use rarely have an effect on him for long.  He is rarely hung over or wasted since his metabolism clears the alcohol too quickly for him to feel it and on multiple occasions he states he mainly drinks as he likes the taste.  One of the few times he was high was after he smoked a massive amount of pot at the teenage delinquent recovery farm as indicated by him sitting at the detective’s desk eating potato chips and dipping them in nutella realizing it was an amazing flavor combination.  For him, drugs seem to simply be something that is fun and a way to amuse himself and based on his drinking, it is mainly a way to meet and socialize with people.

As far as the sex, it is clear that he uses his casual hook-ups as a fun distraction.  To avoid any possible intimacy with others, he hides behind the fact that sex is a pleasurable act and by keeping his sex life 100% casual, no person in his or her right mind would even consider dating him.  He has made himself impossible to be seen as possible long term boyfriend in a steady relationship.  He likely struggles with his own angelic power to pull out people’s desires and his ability to seduce them.  Since his default is to have people literally throw themselves at him, he likely sees most of them acting in response to his powers and necessarily to him as a person.  As he wants people to follow their desires and free-will (as he simply removed the inhibitions that were present and did not create them) he gladly indulges them as well as himself.  If I were him, I’d be like “well why not?” an attractive person wants to sleep with me, sure do it, no harm, no foul.

I found it most telling based on how sensitive he is to his sexual reputation as well as his ability to meet his current sexual partner’s needs.  First off, when a random kid pretended to be him, he was incredibly upset that his imposter lacked his skills.  He’s Lucifer Morningstar, he has skills and a reputation associated with them.  Secondly, when the detective decided to interview his previous partners for the past 8 weeks (all 92 of them) two things were very obvious i.) he went to great lengths to make sure no matter what he did, that person had the most amazing sex of his or her life ii.) not a single person he slept with saw it as anything more than an amazing night of no strings attracted sex.  His actions did not inspire them to want more of a relationship from him.  How his facial expression become quite sad as all 92 of them stated it was just empty sex showed how alone he is. Another unusual trait is that he has been the most sexually responsible angel ever.  Granted, the vast majority of angels were never going to have sex in the first place, yet he has a much more responsible track record than Amenadiel.  It is clear that he has had sex with thousands upon thousands of humans over the years and he never once resulted in a human-angel pregnancy.  This may also be linked to the fact that Amenadiel by default, desires a ‘normal’ regular relationship while Lucifer has been avoiding having a “normal” relationship.  It would imply that if he found someone to have a kid with, he would be in a “normal” long term relationship with that person.

Overall, his first career on earth was to make sure he had an establishment that represented what he felt others perceived as his core personality, that as the devil, he would have to surround himself by partying and temptations.  Owning Lux is a way for him to keep up appearances and maintain his public persona as well as his persona that is seen by celestial beings.  Lucifer is a classic example of a character who is totally alone in a crowd.

2.) Few close friends

Another true introvert trait is to have a small tight knit group of friends.  Lucifer fits to this exactly.  He has excellent social skills, and again due to his former job and his nature, yet does many actions by smooth, polite and calculated actions - from a distance.  His job of granting favors is based on how he knows someone, who knows someone, forming a vast network he has to draw upon to make sure that the favors work out the way the person would like them to.  He doesn’t do the favors though because he cares for the person, more than he seems to do it to pass the time until he finds a job with more meaning.

It is starting his second job as a civilian consultant for the LAPD that his preference and need for a small friend group becomes obvious.  The most obvious one is his relationship with Chloe. 

Chloe Decker: He is first intrigued at why his powers do not work on her, his immediate physical attraction to her as well as seeing her as a kindred spirit also drew him to her. She is the outcast of the department and he knows all too well what it feels like to be the literal outcast.  As a result of their common situation and the fact he can’t sway her, the two of them can speak openly and honestly.  Granted, the biggest issue with his relationship with Chloe is the fact that she denies the obvious truth that he tells her even though she has seen enough evidence that he likely is not some random British guy living in LA running a high end nightclub.

As their relationship deepens he begins to find comfort in the fact that despite his inability to influence her, she still appreciates his company and values him as a friend and a work partner.  Even though he panics and holds her miracle status against her at first, he comes to realize she can’t be held responsible for something she has no control of and is unaware of.  Linda time and time again tries to get him to realize that he keeps her away due to his absolute fear that she would reject him.  Since she’s the only person who could accept him as is, it means her acceptance of him is the biggest risk to his own heart in regards to her. 

In part, his complicated relationship is tied to his fear that she would reject him, so him loving and caring for a single person as he does for her is too risky.  He’s a seriously hurt dude, he’s terrified of being hurt anymore by someone he cares for.  Chloe really takes a long time to realize how deeply he is hurt.  I get that she’s his opposite but I do felt out of all of the characters, she got short end of the stick in regards to character development.  Everyone else has had major changes and realizations yet she only sort of struggled with Lucifer’s identity in the first half of season 4 and she was off her “mark” when she was a bit preachy with him.  Thankfully, she stopped that bit and realized that he more needed her to listen to him and to support him.  It really got that concept that sometimes you need to just be there for someone and not try to fix it - since Chloe is a fixer. 

Mazikeen:  She is his right-hand woman.  The only demon to leave hell to follow him to earth, she first acted as his personal assistant, running the day to day operations of Lux and also working as a bartender.  Despite all of their conflicts, they care deeply for each other and have each other’s back.

The hardest part of growth in their relationship is when it went from master-servant/boss-assistant to more that of peers.  Even as he began to change in how he worked with humans, he keep their relationship as their default from hell.  He really hurt her feelings since she developed feelings and both of them are terrible at expressing them to others.  They have a relationship and work dynamic that they had for thousands and thousands of years - it is pretty impressive that they are learning and growing in a relatively short time period to respect each other and mature.

I found the most emotionally moving parts between them to be in season 3 when Chloe begins to get involved with Cain/Pierce and he expresses his worry that at least he has her and she’ll never leave him.  Maze interprets this as him being selfish and treating her as his number 2.  She lashes out at him and all he does is look back at her in return is hurt as he almost quivers.  Since she was his right hand woman in hell, she is the person with whom he has had the longest and most trusting relationship with since being cast into hell.  Did he phrase things in a way that helped in the situation - no.  But was he telling her his honest feelings that he really does feel like she is someone who is always there for him and supports him - yes.   When she goes behind his back to work with Cain/Pierce, he’s hurt and feels betrayed.  Sure, some of it is karmic payback for the times he’s hurt her, but after his failed experiment with Abel, he has every right to not just pop willy-nilly between earth and hell.

I have the vibe that they will eventually settle into a sibling like relationship treating each other the same way he interacts with his angel siblings like Amenadiel and Azrael.

Ella Lopez: So far Ella has been the only human friend that he has worked with with whom he hasn’t used his angelic charms on.  He was uncomfortable around her at first; she’s religious, she’s outwardly friendly and very much into giving hugs.  Ella “wastes” her time on what he would see as pointless pleasantries in the office.  Yes, Lucifer will lay on the pleasantries, but his always have a purpose - Ella’s are just her being nice.  He did like her opinion that the devil got a bad rap, but then she kept thinking he was a method actor in addition to being a nightclub owner.

Despite their obvious differences the two of them are both very straightforward people who have a strong sense of personal justice and are dedicated to solving the crimes.  He quickly begins to joke around with her and with her four older brothers, she finds no issue with dealing with his antics - it is more like par for the course. 

The fact that Azrael also couldn’t help but become friends with her seems to indicate she has some sort of personality that celestial beings really like, especially those who have the shittier jobs e.g. Lucifer running hell and punishing and Azrael being the angel of death dealing with, well, death.  The fact that she made sure Ella would become friends with Lucifer was really sweet and even though he was at first upset since he doesn’t like people trying to manipulate with him, he realized that Azrael’s action was in right place. She got her favorite brother and favorite human to become friends since she knew they would get along even if she couldn’t be with them - you know, having the whole angel of death as her day job.

His love of Ella as a friend though came out when her older brother Jay was in town and mixed up in the illegal diamond cleaning.  Yes, he brought his own feelings with his older brother into the mix, but he was correct.  Jay is not the absolutely perfect brother, he was involved in shady stuff.  I think when he confronted Jay was one of the best scenes in regards to him standing up for and protecting his friends.  He made it very clear that if Jay ever hurt Ella again he’d be in trouble as he knew how important it was to her to continue to see her brother in her own most positive light.

I really get the vibe that they feed off of each other being goofballs - Ella was a nerd and picked on as kid and had a lot of issues to deal with.  He’s the cast out son, they are both outcasts on the rebound and they like to have fun with each other.  This really comes to a head in season 4 when Lucifer, Chloe and Ella go to the nudist colony.   Chloe is a complete stick in the mud and by the time she turns around the two of them are naked and ready to go.  As adults on their own and away from their family and their former “teenage” issues they finally get to be who they want to be and I just think their dynamic duo antics are adorable.  She is the friend that will do silly things with him while Chloe remains too, well stoic. When Ella has her crisis of faith, Lucifer doesn’t fan the flames instead, he’s confused how to react so he doesn’t tell her what to think.

Trixie:   She immediately loved Lucifer from the moment she met him.  He is incredibly awkward with her.  He’s not sure to do with her little kid hugs, he tries to not hold her hand when they investigate the elite private school.  Yet, no matter how frequently he calls her a little urchin and doesn’t understand why she likes him, she grows on him.

I personally loved her bedroom sign in the first season - “Trixie’s room - no boys allowed - except for Lucifer.”

Trixie is a classic example of kid radar seeing people for who they are; she accepts Lucifer and Maze with no judgement, she just sees them as these rad adults whom she can play with. 

I really liked when he tried to buy her the new doll since she destroyed her old one - in a way he respected her kid logic - did it teach her a lesson - no.  But it was a logical extension as a means to an end.  He came from a background of illogical parenting so to speak.  He dealt with rules that didn’t always make sense it is clear he spent too much time pondering them thus leading to his current situation.

Does he like other children still? Not really, he still didn’t know what to do when he touched a kid’s head with a little pat as his backyard picnic with Cain as he wiped his hand on his sweater.   Yet, since he has gotten to know Trixie through his interactions with her it is clear that he likes her.

Dr. Linda Martin: Dr. Martin is my fav female character on the entire show as she is a compassionate, caring and intelligent individual and a secret badass.  Her relationship with Lucifer started how all of his interactions with people who desire him do - with her wanting to sleep with him.  Over time, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t be sleeping with him and he also begins to realize that he can work with her without having to pay her with his body and pay her the normal way - with money.  He learns to treat himself with more respect and not just give away himself to her.  Showing a bit of a shift in how he sees himself with those he actually knows.

I think she really was his first example of how to have a normal human transaction with well, a human.  She is incredibly patient with him and even when he reveals his true self to her, she is able to accept him with a little nudge from Maze.  Despite being overwhelmed due to his families odd demands on her and almost killed by his very upset and stressed out mother, she protects him as a client and as a friend. 

Sure, he always interprets her advice in interesting ways and she knows him well enough to realize that he avoids things and is in denial but she always still cares for him.  He also does frequently figure out what she wants him to realize - he just likes to make it more difficult for himself.  I wonder if the more that they got to know each other, his ability to influence her waned as she saw him as more than a playboy and he saw her as a doctor who could help him and later as a good and trusted friend.

Most importantly, she never gives up on him and truly believes in him despite all of his detours and distractions.  When he has his identity crisis in season 4, she is the first person he shows his devil wings to.  This comes from a place of deep trust in her and even though she can’t help him, she is there for him as a friend. 

I don’t think he’d ever admit it to her directly, but Lucifer likely understands that Linda’s friendship with Maze has helped Maze grow as a person - er demon - and her advice has helped him in how he interacts with her learning how to change his relationship with her from boss-assistant to more that of peers and friends.

Dan Espinoza: Oh yes, despite all of their stupid male ego headbutting, Lucifer is friends with Dan and he does care for the man.  When they first met, Dan was definitely a being a bit of a dick to Chloe; mainly by keeping his own secrets to protect her even though it drove her nuts.  If anything bothers Lucifer more it is people lying and hiding things from him.  Lucifer is almost pathological with telling the truth and not lying; and well Dan was not the most honest at the beginning.

So of course, he received full on Lucifer hazing; once the police admin punished him by demoting him for messing with evidence he slowly became more sympathetic to Dan.  He did use his skills to get Dan to admit that he wanted to correct his mistakes and when Dan started to lose it with Azrael’s blade, he saw that Dan was a stronger and more complicated man than he wanted him to be.  If Dan were a simple man, driven by simple desires and actions, Lucifer could write him off.  But Dan isn’t, his biggest change is when he realized he needed to stop calling him Detective Douche and actually call him Dan, in part due to Dan standing up to his teasing.  

Was it right for Lucifer to keep up his petty antics for so long?  Likely not, but Lucifer learned that some of Dan’s actions and personality traits are actually good things and his day shadowing Dan was annoying for poor Dan, but at least allowed him to realize that not everyone is the same.

Lucifer also has been more honest about his feelings in front of Dan than many others - when they went to get a favor from the Russian mob boss, he freely admitted his own hatred for himself and how he hurts everyone he cares about. If he said that in front of Chloe or Ella, both of them would rush to tell him it isn’t true and he’s being too hard on himself.  Instead, Dan kept his distance and realized that both of them think the grass is greener on their side of the fence.  Lucifer is secretly jealous of Dan’s more simple approach to things and Dan thinks Lucifer truly is careless and wishes he could be a flippant as he appears to be.

Dan really is a reminder how how Lucifer is unable to open up to others and make himself more vulnerable.  Unfortunately, this results in Dan frequently getting hurt and he makes epic bad decisions in season 4 out of grief over Charlotte’s death, blaming Lucifer for all of his pain.  But no matter what happens, it is clear that Lucifer would not wish for bad things to happen to Dan as he is a good guy and a capable detective.

Is their friendship a perfect one?  Far from it, but both of them really do try to care and support the other guy as long as they aren’t pissed off at each other.  It likely doesn’t help that Lucifer’s friendship with Dan is pretty much his only one with a normal human guy.  He’s got plenty of angelic brothers and Cain really isn’t normal by a long shot so it makes Dan even more important to have him in his circle of close friends.  As a 100% totally normal dude, Dan acts frequently as the ‘in’ to understanding (or really lack of understanding) what is happening.

Eve:  I just finished re-watching season 4.  I’m still not sure where I’d place Eve in all of this.  She’s only in season 4 so far and based on her actions, I’m not sure I’d call her one of his close friends. If anything she was pretty much an impediment to all of his relationships - albeit maybe not quite on purpose . . .  she’s a woman who still hasn’t figured out who she is despite realizing she needs to not define herself in the context of a relationship. 

Sorry for not having more thoughts on this, I need to ponder it more. 

What I will say is that their relationship issues stem from the fact that he is an introvert and she’s an extrovert.  He realized that Eve was a “bad” influence on him and he struggled to express his feelings to her.  The fact that it takes him shouting out at her that he “doesn’t like who he is when he’s with her” was painfully difficult for him to say.  It is clear that he cares about her deeply and he wants her to be happy.  Yet, he can’t and really doesn’t want to deliver on her actions or feelings.  The worst part is that it tears him up inside since in a way he saw her as a possible long term partner which was a big deal for him.

3.) Works either alone or in small groups. 

When it comes to his role with the LAPD, Lucifer’s modes of action are not that of a typical extrovert.  He is either working closely with his partner Chloe, or occasionally with Ella or Dan.  He is never part of a large group nor is he taking a typical leadership role.  Due to his need to protect others and his need to get answers as quickly and directly as possible, he frequently goes off on his own.  In part, this is so that he can take full advantage of his angelic powers and immortality, but also to protect those he cares about.  Sure, he walks into a Korean gang headquarters and tells them to come out, but he doesn’t try to chit chat or smooth things over with them.  He goes in, finds the head boss and pretty much strikes a deal with him that he can’t refuse.  When he wants an answer his methods are far too direct.  Find suspect/target/person and just question them or threaten them and then question them.  There is no charming and social games.  He can’t be bothered with banal pleasantries when he wants to know something.  If Lucifer were a true extrovert he would want to talk to others and feed off of the energy he gets from being with them - yet - he never has shown this.  He sees getting information as a task he needs to complete as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Even though he is hurt when Chloe and Cain become closer and begin to hang out or work cases without him, he still shows up and does work to help out with cases.  He also is good at working by himself and is able to work things out when he applies himself.

He also has an excellent sense of intuition when reading people.  Of course, one of the major aspects of the show is that he projects his own issues onto others.  This leads him off of what they are doing sometimes, so his read isn’t quite right.  But he is perceptive when he sees odd behaviors and is able to connect things without full information.  This is both what he did with Ella’s brother Jay and more importantly with Pierce/Cain.  He invites him for a drink and then stabs him with the knife.  He looks incredibly nervous after he kills him as he can’t kill a human as an angel - he keeps switching between trying to be calm and have a drink while he waits for him to wake up with a nervous sweat.  Did he know for sure Pierce was Cain?  No, hence the nervousness until his intuition was proven correct was his true feelings on his gamble.

Furthermore, when he does work with Chloe or others, he always has their back and will go to any length to work with them.  This to me indicates that he finds working with a select few people with whom he can trust is how he is most comfortable and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention and the one in charge like how he was in charge of hell. It is clear that by the end of season 4 even though he returned to hell it wasn’t because he enjoyed to or wanted to - it was because he had to protect everyone he cared about.  He also has a natural chemistry and ease working with Chloe where even in tough situations they instinctively know what to do and how to act.

4.) He expresses himself through actions. 

Lucifer is an incredibly hurt individual.  He was punished by having to take a job that he didn’t even want or even desire and most of his family abandoned him.  He’s terrified to open up and show his true feelings and pain to others as they would take advantage of it as a weakness to hurt him further. Honestly, I think he still doesn’t quite understand how his actions landed him in hell.  He was questioning the establishment and it is clear he thinks deeply about rules and how they influence others.  Anything he thinks is illogical he ignores as he can’t be bothered to care to follow those rules and conventions.  I think about how he made Chloe rethink the “swear jar” for Trixie - he pointed out rules without a clear basis don’t make sense.

Since he struggles to express his feelings in a way to help others. e.g. mainly in his denial/fear to tell Chloe he truth does two things; i.) he makes it about him or ii.) he tries to demonstrate through his actions.

The making it about him method, is a subtle way where he wants to know how to solve his own problem to help him understand or interact with others.  But since he doesn’t want to say for example “I need to figure out how Cain can die since I promised him and I am true to my word.” he instead hides behind the idea of “I need to find the author’s killer so I can read how she got over her writers block.”  By extension, since the manuscript is an instruction guide, he thinks he’ll learn something so that he can follow through on his promise.  It is a very obtuse way to act, but since he hides behind his narcissistic facade no one will understand he’s not doing it for himself.

As far as his actions, he really shows it when he reorganizes Chloe’s desk; he realizes that she deals with all the paperwork and since she is capable she gets even more paperwork piled on to her workload.  He cleans up her mess and anal retentively arranges her pencils and makes sure the right angles on the files are all lined up.  He also found a method of filing that makes more sense to him and it inadvertently helps her find the missing piece of evidence for their most recent case.  I liked how he color coded everything.  Did he need to add the picture of him in his underwear as her backdrop?  Hell no, but he figures out that since she likes him, what’s wrong with her seeing a part of him that she likely will never see.

This also gets him into trouble; again, buying the doll for Trixie, trying to out perform Cain in gifts for Chloe and always seeing things as a competition.  He wants to give people physical proof of his care for people without actually saying it.  Specifically he wants to express his care through a tangible amount of some sort of physical object.

5.) He hides behind his narcissistic behaviors. 

As Lucifer struggles to come to terms with himself and expressing his feelings he has hid behind his narcissism.  What is a great way to keep people away from you and keeping your distance from them?  Being completely self-absorbed with yourself that no one would ever want to be friends with you.  His narcissism is a HUGE turnoff for the vast majority of the population.

It is so clear that he wants to develop close relationships but he’s so afraid of hurting others and even more so hurting himself. He’s hid behind his hedonistic behaviors and his self-absorbed actions for thousands of years.  He really is a very particular person; he is constantly adjusting his sleeves under his suit coat, his shoes are always perfect, he moisturizes and his hair is styled elegantly.  He likes things arranged elegantly and it shows how important control is to him.  If he is 100% in control of everything, again he’s protected from being hurt.

As he works at the LAPD and forms his important friendships, his appearance changes.  In the first season, he wears black or dark grey suits, his shirts are white, black, dark purple, dark blue and grey, if I recall correctly.  He keeps his look simple and professional, almost cold.  His matching pocket squares are also basic and mainly a single solid color with few patterns.

Yet overtime, he becomes more adventurous in his appearance, he starts wearing more light blue shirts, he begins to add in more color with burgundy, forest green, and even a caramel colored suit.  His pocket squares become more interesting with patterns and more color combinations.  With the increase in color and variety he appears much more approachable and has more of an air of friendliness even though he still only cares for his small group of friends.

A case that was a real struggle for him was with the online dating app for “fabulous” people - Top Meet.  He wanted to continue to judge people based on superficial appearances, as it has been his own wall and it has served him well.  When they ultimately confront the killer, his own knowledge of nature and narcissists allows him to save the day by tossing the head sculpture at him and the detective can apprehend him.

His car serves as both another front and also shows how he longs for few intimate friendships or relationships.  He’s got that lovely little Corvette and it is a two-seater.  He doesn’t drive a giant, flashy car that can fit lots of people.  Instead, he has a small almost cute (I personally think it is cute) car that only another person can sit in.  He only wants to ride with one person at a time as he values his close relationships.  Yet, having a car that only can fit one other passenger shows a part of his narcissistic front - that only a person who he’d see as worthy would be able to ride with him.

Overall, by looking at how Lucifer chose to have a job on earth in a nightclub where he could simply hide was the first indication he’s an introverted character.  The longer he has been in LA, the more close friendships he has formed and they are very important to him as well as his oldest friendship with Maze.  When he realized that Maze was attracted to Eve, he noticed it, but hasn’t made mention of it yet (likely that will happen in season 5).  The fact that he noticed it meant he really has stopped seeing her as his right hand woman and more just as an individual with feelings.  His close friendships really show that he’s an introvert not an extrovert.  It is obvious that he gains meaning and connection from these close relationships in a way he never experienced before.  His preference for working either alone or in a small team also shows that he is much more comfortable as well as his preference to express himself through actions as opposed to using words since that is much harder and more uncomfortable.  Lastly, by hiding himself from all others behind a self-absorbed image he has been able to keep others away from him for thousands of years.

The major point about his character growth is learning that having a small support group of real friends and family he can find what he’s been looking for.  A place to belong and be accepted.

#lucifer tv #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #mazikeen #maze #linda martin #dr. linda martin #dan espinoza #ella lopez #trixie decker

[thisisallthehattersfault]

Writing Romantic Relationships

I get a lot of compliments on my chemistry and character interactions. A lot of my readers have expressed liking the way I write relationships, so since that’s an aspect of my writing that gets a lot of positive attention, I want to really make sure to hone and refine it as best I can. With that goal in mind, I did some Googling a couple months ago to try to find any articles or videos I could that had advice for writing believable, engaging romantic relationships.

Turns out, there’s not a ton out there.  The results that came up were all focused on the Romance genre, which I’m sure will be very helpful to those who are writing their first bodice ripper, but it’s not for me. There were a few lists of things to avoid when writing romantic relationships, but as with all advice telling people what not to write, they’re really only helpful sometimes.

So, I decided to sit down and try to articulate the way I approach romantic relationships in my writing, in the hopes that it might be helpful to someone, and also in the hopes that other writers would chime in and add some tips of their own. 

Right off the bat, you should ask yourself why you want these characters to get together. A romantic relationship should be an entirely character-driven subplot -- sure, things like an alien invasion or an eldritch cult will push people together through necessity, but if you really want your readers to be hooked on your characters’ relationship, you need to make it believable that these people would fall in love even if the Plot wasn’t happening. Basically, what do they see in each other? What do these people gain by being together? Why them, and not anyone else?

The main way I address this is through character flaws. A good relationship in real life should make you a better person -- within reason. No, getting a girlfriend isn’t going to solve all of your problems, but those problems should seem smaller and more manageable now that you have someone in your corner. A romantic relationship is life’s built-in buddy system, and fiction should reflect that. The two ways characters can help one another deal with their respective flaws are through Overcoming and Compensating.

Overcoming is typically how character growth works -- your character addresses their flaw, and decides to change it in order to become a better person. Having someone around to call them out on their bullshit, or encourage them to do better, or praise them for their progress can be a huge help in achieving that growth. Typically the easiest and most effective way I’ve seen this done is to have one character lead by example. 

An emotionally repressed jerk becomes more open and expressive because their S/O’s strong sense of compassion rubs off on them. A character who’s shy and insecure gains courage by watching their confident, self-assured love interest. These will likely be the first reasons your characters are attracted to each other. They should respect and admire things about each other, and want to emulate those traits -- even if it’s only grudgingly, and even if they never admit it out loud. 

Which brings me to Compensating. The thing is, perfect characters are boring and unrealistic. Even after a whole book’s worth of development, your characters should still be at least a little flawed. They’ll still have hangups, habits, issues that they haven’t worked through and probably never will because if they were cured of Every Single Flaw they’d be… just, unbearably boring. What I’m saying is: Not all character “flaws” need to be fixed. But, depending on what those flaws are, they could maybe stand to have somebody else compensate for them.

An impulsive character held in check by their calculating partner. A trusting character cautioned by their hesitant lover. A passive character with a temperamental s/o who stands up for them. This is the classic opposites attract -- the messy one adds excitement and spontaneity into their lover’s life, while the neat one keeps things reasonable and on-track. There should be a back-and-forth, with each character taking turns to show that neither of them are necessarily wrong, but there’s a time and place for quiet vs loud, aggression vs pacifism, logic vs emotion. Your characters should respect their s/o’s perspective, and be willing to listen and meet them on their level. This creates balance, and gives your readers clear examples of why your characters work as a couple.

These are the most important parts of your relationship to figure out, because they’re how you’ll plot out the romance. The major heavy lifting for your romance will be almost entirely done by showing how your characters help each other grow or come to rely on each other for help. If they don’t make each other better, and they don’t need each other to pick up the slack, then the relationship is shallow, and won’t work. 

Once you’ve got the bones of the relationship figured out, you can start to work on the fun meaty bits. Next up, Affection.

Way, way too often in media, we’re given two characters who are supposed to be madly in love, who… don’t have anything in common. No shared interests, conflicting goals. They barely talk to each other. But we’re supposed to believe they’re happy in their relationship? Look, your characters need to like each other. Yes, even while plot is making their lives crazy! They shouldn’t completely overlap, but they need to have hobbies and interests in common, or at least have complimentary senses of humor and priorities. Your character who has never touched a camera in his life can absolutely still fall for a photographer -- if he appreciates art, or at least appreciates the way his s/o lights up when they talk about their craft. Are your characters both passionate about animals? Do they do the same sports? Play video games? What do they do together? 

Again, they don’t need to share Every Single Aspect Of Their Lives -- in fact, it’s better if they don’t. Much like how you need your love interest to both Overcome and Compensate for a character’s flaws, their hobbies and interests should be a little of both -- things they share, and things they don’t. Hell, have your character who absolutely hates country music take their s/o to a concert anyway. Have your character who couldn’t care less about videography rattle off movie-making trivia because their lover talks about it so often. Show them supporting each other’s interests, even if it’s only to make the other happy. The things they do share should be a way for them to connect and have fun. That’s really what it comes down to. Romance should be fun sometimes.

Next up, I wanna talk about Love Language. I read somewhere that if you need your characters to kiss and say I love you for them to be in a relationship, you didn’t write a strong relationship. I agree with that, but I think it needs to be expanded on -- The Big Kiss and Those Three Words are a very loud way of expressing affection, but typically people say it much quieter, and much more often, than we acknowledge. 

The Five Love Languages are Words Of Affection, Giving/Receiving Gifts, Acts Of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Understanding your characters’ primary love language and showing them expressing their love in whatever way makes sense for them will make your readers go absolutely fucking hogwild. Your characters don’t need complimentary love languages either -- in fact, if you’re looking to add a little conflict in the relationship, giving them love languages that don’t add up can really help add some believably to the whole mutually pining trope. A character who’s love language is physical touch trying to cuddle up to someone who hates having their space invaded, or a character who’s love language is words of affection coming across as a flatterer to a love interest who’s been manipulated a few too many times, makes way more sense than two people who adore each other but aren’t together because [enter contrived excuse.]

Between your characters having Affection for each other and your characters speaking to each other in their respective Love Languages, you have the groundwork for a lot of really immersive Chemistry! We get why these characters are good for each other from a story-telling perspective, we know why they like each other, and we can see how they express their feelings in small, consistent ways that really sells the idea that they’re in love -- or headed that way. Now what we need is to feel it for ourselves.

Chemistry in writing is all about immersion. When you have a crush, your whole body gets involved. The sweating hands, the pounding heartbeat -- but it also shows in your body language, the way you stand near that person, the way you carry yourself when they’re around. It’s in your thoughts, the language you use to describe them, the way you view them compared to others. There’s really no trick to writing chemistry -- at least none that I’ve found -- other than to really delve into your characters and make your readers feel what they feel. Every quiet thrill when their hands brush, every subtle glance at each others’ lips. These are people who want to get closer like lungs want air. Attraction is a magnet, and both of them should feel it.

I don’t just mean sexually, either. A character hyper-fixating on the collection of freckles on their love-interest’s nose can be as much a method of ratcheting up the tension as a character who can’t tear their eyes away from their love-interest’s rippling abs. Likewise, it doesn’t even need to be physical intimacy at all that your characters are chasing -- the desire to know someone, their deepest thoughts and dreams and fears, can be just as if not more intense than the desire to see them naked. However your characters’ attraction manifests, you need to make your audience feel it. Use all five senses, have them be very aware of each other when they’re in the same room. Show them wanting each other. Make your readers want it, too.

As you’ve probably picked up on from my wording in this, the last big tip I can give you for writing romantic relationships is that they need to be Reciprocated. Loudly, explicitly, consistently. Too often only one half of the pair is fleshed out, while the other is basically cardboard -- a thin, lifeless collection of “attractive” traits with no substance beyond that. The Manic Pixie Dreamgirl is perfect and fun and sexy, and she’s here to drag this unfuckably boring sad sack out of his miserable life. Why? Why is the gorgeous Adonis with every girl in town fawning over him settling for the plain, bitchy protagonist? Wish fulfillment is great and all, but both of your characters need solid reasons to be attracted to each other, or the romance just won’t be good.

#Writing advice #romance #romantic relationships #writeblr #not writing #shut up alice

[ddaenghoney]

chapter eleven

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): none; just that sweet, sweet character growth.

Word count: 5302

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

You slide two fingers along the trackpad of your laptop, scrolling to the next page of song lyrics that you just finished the evening before. A more somber mix of words to fit the ballad that the group needed for their next album. You rub your jaw as you count syllables, checking the rhyme scheme, then your head tilts as you begin to discern whether the whole thing sounds understandable. Though the track’s ambiguous nature gives it character, deluding the true intention entirely isn’t what you want.

“You know,” Your eyes narrow at the interruption Namjoon’s voice brings, along with some cups of variously colored froths. He hunches over the bartop casually doodling art atop the latte’s white foam top as he continues along, “I think you should take a lawyer with you this time around.”

“What’s the point if I’m just going to resign to, likely, the same terms as before?” You sigh, curling a lock of hair around your finger as you think about the meeting upcoming in a few days. If it was like the first one there would only be Yerin, her secretary, and the company’s primary lawyer that wrote out the first contract.

“But that’s what I’m saying; if you bring along your own lawyer, then they can help argue some change.” He says in a small voice that’s mostly focused with perfecting the lines of a dog image. “It can’t hurt to try, right?”

“She’s just so dead set against any of what I’ve said about receiving credit before though.” You mumble, trying to get back to your own work with hope that he’ll drop the topic that he’s been bringing up periodically ever since you received notice of the meeting.

“You’ve worked for them for five years now.” Namjoon lifts up his head from the design, eyes decisively staring into your own as he speaks with conviction, “They owe you change, even if it isn’t a complete one-eighty from how things have gone so far. They’re shitty people if they don’t treat you like a human by this point.”

You smile at him, dryly speaking the reality, “They’re a business.”

“They’re only doing well because of you. That’s undeniable.” He smiles in return, bringing forth a bit of pride for you as his friend. Namjoon straightens up, stretching his arms as he nudges the drink towards you, “If you threaten to leave then maybe they’ll change their mind about the contract? Here take this, I’m still not good at this kind of latte art.”

Your chin rests on your palm while you glance to the drink. It presents a cute fluffy blue dog, with admittedly oddly positioned eyes. You refrain from laughter. “Looks better than the flower you tried last week. Thanks, Joon.”

Namjoon nods, moving the cups off with a smile as he turns to the sink behind him. Figuring he’s bugged you enough about the lawyer idea for the day he leaves it be, returning to the atmosphere before as he turns down the bar while Jinsol exits with two plates of food for customers.

“Yoongi was also telling me that I should get a lawyer.” You say on your own, not thinking that you could potentially give Namjoon hope that you’ll eventually agree with the two of them by keeping the conversation going. He turns back to you, wiping his hands dry on a rag. “Even said he’d get his lawyer friend to go with me if I wanted. Someone named Kim Taehyung.”  

“How much does he charge?”

“Yoongi said he’d do it for free as a favor to him,” You shrug, taking a slow sip of the drink to see if it was too hot. “They’re good friends and have known each other for awhile.” Namjoon nods, arms crossing as his eyebrows furrow in consideration to the news. “But you and Yoongi need to stop acting like Yerin won’t just drop me if I start talking about changing the contract this seriously.”

“Y/N, you’ve given them more than ninety percent of their musical repertoire. That’d be the most idiotic business decision she could make.” Namjoon frowns, trying to find a reason for why you’re unable to see how much of an asset you are for SoundWave even though they treat you oppositely.

“And I’d take away one hundred percent of their reputation if the public finds out how much I have to do with that, Joon.” You trace the circumference of the ceramic with your index finger, eyeing the art that had further disfigured after you took a sip. “They can go on without me involved, and there’s no reason to keep me if I’m just going to destroy everything they’ve worked for. Cost-benefit analysis is what they call it in the business world, right?”

“Well, no, but close enough,” Namjoon leans back against the counter. “To be honest, even if they give you just a few pieces credited here and there, that would be a big improvement, don’t you think? You could start there.”

You nod, hearing your phone vibrate beside your laptop to alert you of a text, but ignoring it so you can explain the most recent nail in your coffin. “But since I’m now ‘Yoongi’s girlfriend’ any credits they give to me are going to look suspicious as hell.” You watch Namjoon blink evidently not considering that idea before. He all the sudden sighs gruffly and rubs his neck,

“Fuck, I bet that CEO did that on purpose too.” You nod as his bitterly spoken assessment, having come to that conclusion previously. Considering how frighteningly calculative Yerin is, that’s definitely within the scope of possibility. “She really pisses me off, Y/N.”

“Me too, but, fuck, she does her job well, right?” You huff and then take another long gulp of the latte while Namjoon’s head shakes slowly in contemplation. “I can see why the board lets her handle so much stuff independently of them. She has everything figured out.”

A part of you is willing to believe she set the past five years up like a chess board, strategizing from the advent of their song contest. Perhaps only looking for one or two interesting enough songwriters to trap into the pawn slots and lead the company to success at exponential rates. The lens that seemed clairvoyant and absent of illusion in the pitch to work longer in the company, all selected carefully to tie into the bigger picture Yerin created.

With how finely woven the company is, collectively seemed together to stop the outside from seeing what truly goes on behind the scenes, it’s almost believable in retrospect that Yerin had this picture in mind from the beginning.

You’d like to think there are things unforeseeable, however. Hopeful in that respect, though you can’t grasp a thought of what would shake up Yerin’s disposition so that she would agree to new terms in your contract.

“Maybe I’ll take Yoongi up on his offer…” You ponder aloud, not catching Namjoon’s eyes open wider with excitement at your voice. You finally go to your phone, checking it to see a new message,

Yoongi, 4:56pm: If you’re not busy can you call me?

“You should.” Namjoon’s blurt is out into the air as an uncontainable rambling. One loud enough to catch the attention of other patrons if only for a quick glance. You smile at your friend’s eagerness to jump onto that little sway of opinion, watching him nod longer. “If you’re dealing with legal stuff you should involve a lawyer-- even if you don’t think it’ll help. Why not, right?”

“Legal ‘stuff’, huh?” You giggle when Namjoon rolls his eyes smiling despite you cutting him off to tease. “He wants me to call him, so I’ll ask.”

“Wants you to?” Namjoon raises an eyebrow, though the lightness of his lips insinuate he’s somehow pleased with your news. It’s your turn to roll your eyes, and then attempt shooing Namjoon off with your hand, but he doesn’t budge as he questions with a large smile forming, “Bet he misses you like you miss him-”

“Stop, you know it isn’t like that.” Your lips frown, wishing he wouldn’t bring that subject up even as a joke. Namjoon’s lips clamp, but his teasing expression remains, seemingly undeterred by your weak rebuttal. “Not actually dating, Joon.” Namjoon only nods to which you sigh, shifting on the stool to face slightly away from him. “He probably just wants to complain about it being cold where he’s at.”

“Okay,” Namjoon nods again, stepping once down the bar to start assisting with a newly entered party. “Warm him up with your voice then-”

“Fuck off!” You watch him scamper off like a startled cat, and shake your head at him hitting his hip against the corner of the bar. You bite your lip when Namjoon glances back at you with a pained expression from the collision, but nonetheless gives you a thumbs up to cheer you on in your phone call endeavor even though you think he’s acting ridiculous.

It takes only a moment to open the message thread with Yoongi, then click into the contact information to call. You skim through the lines on your laptop screen as quickly as you are able to while the line buzzes in wait. Three beeps and Yoongi’s voice registers in an answer,

“Hello?” He sounds somewhat puzzled and surprised and there’s a small moment that you think you should’ve texted him first, but you go ahead and respond,

“Hey, you wanted me to call?” The screen before you becomes a blur, its shine leading you to shut it close as you listen in on Yoongi’s voice when he says back sheepishly,

“I did, yeah. Just because I’m kind of bored here,” His volume lowers into a mumble as he goes on, making you smile gently. “Ah, but if you’re busy then don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not. Just looking over some lyrics, but I’ve been messing with them since yesterday practically nonstop, so I should probably take a break.”

Yoongi hums, recalling the texts back and forth the day before where you’d mentioned the words not sounding just right. Lying back into the armchair in the green room, he stretches an arm, voice as comforting to your ears as usual, “You at least went to sleep though, right?”

“Yeah,” You tighten your lips after the response, feeling a beat pass as you try and mumble the next part quickly and quietly, “At four, but-”

“Four?” Yoongi chuckles begrudgingly, rubbing his face with his hand, and then sighs in discontentment, “You’re worse than I am.”

“Is that a compliment?” You ask him innocently, trying to navigate away from the potential reprimand for your sleeping habits as if you hadn’t done the same in response to some of the unruly hours Yoongi has said he’s fallen asleep at too. He just laughs on the other side of the line, causing you to bite your lip and try a new conversation that you’re sure would be something he’d react to like Namjoon, “About the lawyer friend of yours… Do you think he’d still be available for the meeting?”

---

Kim Taehyung stands pleasantly in the lobby of the company when you arrive days later. He greets you with a bright smile that makes you wonder if he can actually be as intimidating as Yoongi stated he is in contractual meetings. With his perfectly wrinkle-free suit, clearly tailored for himself, and luxuriously bronze leather suitcase, you can at least say his appearance is telling enough that his finances at least back-up a success record.

“So just to make sure we’re on the same page from the conversation on the phone,” He gestures for you to enter the elevator before himself as he speaks, following you along inside. “I’m here mostly for appearances, correct?”

“Well,” Your voice is high, smile sheepish from the verbiage used to describe Taehyung’s involvement, “Yeah-- but I’d still like to argue a little for it, but,” You pause, thinking that your own disposition seems weak and not positive for the outlook you want to search for in this meeting. “I just don’t want them to fire me for arguing too much, if that makes sense.”

“Although it’s certainly not proper for them to fire you for something as common as negotiating the terms of your contract, I understand why you’re apprehensive to speaking up about it because of the inherent hierarchical differences between you and the CEO. Nevertheless, I’ll take your lead for how much you would like to push for adjustments.” Taehyung speaks with ease, words flowing like silk. Relaxing as it is to have someone like him ready to discuss details on your behalf, you still find the idea daunting.

Even if by some grand means you succeed in somehow regaining all the rights to songs you write and music produced, what will that make the company think of you? Beyond Yerin and the board of directors, exists coworkers you know fondly, some as friends, and some simply respected. People with their own ambitions and work that they try to build high like yourself, and now you stand in an elevator on the way to an office to potentially crack the glass of the established.

As you exit from the elevator on the top floor, Yerin’s head secretary rises from her desk with a smile of familiarity. She gestures across from her to empty waiting chairs, stating pleasantly that Yerin is currently busy, but the meeting is expected to go on as scheduled. You simply nod at her words, sitting in the seats with Taehyung while your mind wraps around the situation about to unfold.

You aren’t so naive to believe that she’ll shut you up from the first word of contention, but where beyond that she’ll let it wander is unknown to you. It’s unimaginable that Yerin’s face would even concave with any shock or fret about this topic, because there’s never been a moment that you’ve witnessed her out of control. The way that the company operates, is organized, stays on top is thanks to her collectiveness. Ethical or not.

Your phone buzzes, jolting nerves across your spine that collected in tense shoulders.

Yoongi, 1:57pm: Hopefully you’re not already in the meeting room, but I just wanted to tell you it’ll all be okay no matter what happens.

You exhale through your lips, reaching to fiddle with your hair as a smile tries to force its way on your lips.

Y/N, 1:58pm: About to go in. Thank you so much Yoon.

“Ms. Y/N,” Your eyes lift from your phone as the secretary calls out to you, “She’ll be ready in just a moment.”

You begin to nod, smile politely in return though the action freezes when the doors to Yerin’s office open. Because of the oddness of coincidences, you stare in a stunned silence as black boots clatter on the tile while Jimin walks out of the office, bowing his head in goodbye to those in the room as he does so. Profanity of different calibers jumble around in your mind, rising in internal volume as the door behind him shuts and Jimin’s eyes find your person.

A moment feels like it freezes, as though crossing paths is unheard of to the both of you. In reality, you’ve both spoken to one another since the party, as short and dismissive the comments in various meetings were. But outside of that space, there’s something unnatural about passing along each other still. You know it’s mutually felt, because Jimin’s eyes remain on you longer than they should, returning your stare that unconsciously questioned what he would do.

Then you wonder why he left Yerin’s office to begin with. Though she is not absent of communication with employees, the setting appears more formal, rather than a casual check on how he’s been. With his manager nowhere to be seen, it leaves the question unanswered as Jimin finally steps along.

Returning focuz from you, he goes to the elevator unspoken. Like he would’ve months ago while you were both secretly involved, but in the current time, it leaves your throat with a tiny knot. Words and actions of the party flash through your mind, and you try to shake it off when the sound of the elevator dings off to your side. You just look at your phone,

Yoongi, 2:00pm: Let me know how things go afterwards, I’ll be here to listen.

Jimin steps into the elevator, turning on his heel to face the front and reach to click the button to his floor. His eyes moves reflexively towards you once more, curious of why you sit evidently waiting to speak to Yerin. He bites his lip, worrying in his thoughts of what she had just mentioned to him, but the tension in his jaw subsides as he takes in your expression. A soft curl of your lips gazing down at your phone, reminiscent of times in the past, Jimin can’t help but remember in that moment.

As the elevator door shuts, he feels every morsel of air filling in his chest that wants to be expelled, but his lips stay in a blank line, while Jimin stares at his blurry silhouette reflected in the elevator door. He has no right to feel the prickling that fights with the oxygen in his lungs, but the image of your brightened expression is infectious to his focus in a way that doesn’t feel good. Regretful.

Jimin shakes his head, sighing as long as possible. He watches the reflection’s arm move with his own as he strokes back his hair, suddenly hit with a harder wave of that emotion. The emotion that was never about you and always about himself. Unchanged still, as he learned from that meeting that went absolutely no where he wanted it to but to further doubt his own capabilities in his career.

He blinks, lips pursing into a frown only to stop a groan from escaping. He instead clicks his tongue, stretching his neck as the elevator stops on his floor. No matter what you’re there for, Jimin hopes you get what you want out of it. The thought strikes him into a standstill when he steps through the door. Jimin’s lips part, wondering why the selfishness escaped from his mind just like that.

In the waiting area before Yerin’s office, the secretary rises as a man exits the elevator. You know from past times that he’s the head contract lawyer, and the memories of his snarky way of speaking nearly cause your eyes to roll outright, but you just hold it in exhaling a breath instead. Taehyoung looks through his phone beside you, presumably through his calendar from your vague glimpse to it, so he’s unaware of the lawyer feet away casting him a look that turns into a stunned stair.

Your eyebrow raises in interest, gathering that in one way or another through the lawyer community, you suppose, that he recognizes Taehyung. You leave it be to speculation, not taking the initiative to alert Taehyung to the lawyer’s somewhat hostile stare because he quickly scampers off into Yerin’s office anyways.

Any kind of reputation to garner that reaction you’re happy with, if you’re honest. That lawyer always pissed you off with his disrespectful deposition anyways.

“Ms. Baek is ready for you both now.”

Taehyung stands before you, doing nothing to question the long sigh that you make. Gathering that you loathe the meeting and are evidently nervous, he thinks the reaction is rather common. Still he’s encouraging when you finally stand beside him, smiling optimistically at you with a thumbs up acted out with his free hand.

The contrast of the other lawyer’s reaction to how mellow Taehyung acts towards you makes you snicker, and return the thumbs up. A little lighter on your feet from his easy to along with personality and Yoongi’s gently comforting texts, you lead the way this time, entering through the doorway as the secretary politely opens it for the two of you.

“So he was her to represent Ms. Y/N, after all.” Nam Dohyun greets the two of you before Yerin who sits calmly in her desk chair ignoring the jab-like remark of her lawyer. “Kim Taehyung independently representing two of our employees now. How coincidental, I wonder if you’ve asked your other client to hand out business cards for you.”

You think the argumentative way Dohyun speaks to Taehyung is odd, considering the fact that meetings like this tend to have outside lawyers assist the employees. Up until now, you’ve likely been one of the odd few who have refrained from seeking independent advice, so perhaps there’s animosity in the business relationship between the two that you don’t know about. You assume the other client Dohyun referred to is Yoongi, which allows your mind to speculate shortly that in the merger maybe there had been alterations made in Yoongi’s contract or other negotiations. Definitely something if Taehyung is already seen in a threatening manner as Dohyun leads you to believe.

“Referrals only, actually.” Taehyung smiles pleasantly, though rather feigned as Dohyun and you feel the chill he sends out. Yerin sighs, standing from her desk,

“Mr. Nam, watch your tone.” She gestures with her hand to the long table set aside for smaller meetings such as this one. “Let’s continue this there, since there are more people than anticipated.”

“This should be a short meeting, I believe.” Dohyun speaks first as the two parties sit across from one another. He reaches into his suitcase to bring about the paperwork as he continues along. “Because there’s been no true push for change, I’m happy to assume that the terms of your contract are still very suitable to what you want out of your position here, ma’am. Financially, I’m positive it will only become more lucrative as the company continues to grow and your royalties continue gathering how more money than someone such as yourself would know what to do with.”

Your lips tighten into a line as Dohyun’s insulting, calm voice rambles irritably along. Refraining from showcasing the annoyance, you try to keep your mind occupied on Yerin as she sits across from you poised. Her eyes follow the path the contract makes across the table, and she’s empty of fervent emotions, simply monitoring the ordeal until her voice is needed.

Taehyung slides the top copy in front of you, while he takes the bottom one for himself to skim through. You finally break away from trying to extract any information about the state of Yerin’s attitude from her expressions, and join in a fast read through. Entirely similar to the first one you signed years earlier, but the percentage of earning through royalties is raised by a considerable margin.

You consider its new amount as a move from Yerin. She knows you’re dissatisfied, and even if Dohyun acts oblivious to that fact, you believe the entire board would have information about the fact. So this increase in revenue, which would tremendously strengthen your financial assets is put in place as an attempt to nullify your mouth. Maybe Yerin thinks money is where the discontentment stems from.

“I’m sure you recognize the pay increase you’ll be receiving through royalties in this new version of the contract. All other terms are kept the same. However, because of the assistance your work has done to bring so much success to the company, we believe that you deserve more recognition through improved finances. It’s quite a lucrative opportunity for someone as young as you are.”

Though you pay little attention to the verbal ego stroke of Dohyun, you nod absently to his words, flipping the page as you try to search for any other changes. Even though he said royalty percentage is the only difference, you give a chance that there is more. A surprise alteration that would actually make you ecstatic in the way that money would never do. But there is no such thing.

It makes you bite your inner cheek that you’re so hesitant now to sign again where years earlier you were so eager you barely cared about listening to Dohyun ask you to take a few minutes to consider. Perhaps it’s maturity, or just dissatisfaction.

You glance towards Taehyung who sits waiting for your reactions to the contract. You slide the paper back to him, not catching Yerin’s eyes narrow slightly from your actions.

“My client is actually interested in adjustments to the contract that are unrelated to finances.” He says fluidly, pushing their contracts to the center of the table so that there is space for his briefcase as he sets it down. “Using her last contract, I revised it with new points of what she desires to change.”

Yerin takes the contract from Taehyung as he stands to properly hand them off, while Dohyun snatches it with a small, unhidden glare. She reads through it silently, while you watch with an increasingly heavy heartbeat. Trying your best to ignore the rumblings beside her from the company lawyer, you instead cast all your attention to Yerin who undoubtedly is more important for how this will play out. She sets the contract down, prompting Dohyun to sit upright and ready himself to speak until Yerin raises her hand to keep him quiet,

“Y/N, I’ve told you before that allowing you to receive public credit for songwriting and production will only lead to dissent from the public. It’ll irredeemably tarnish the reputation of SoundWave and every single idol or group that works out of the company, as well as those of us involved in the original terms of your contract from the beginning.” Her hand rests back on the table as she finishes her direct speech, nothing more than the smallest crease of her brows to indicate that Yerin is at the most irritated that you have continued to bring this argument up.

You feel Taehyung’s eyes as he looks to you, waiting further to gauge how far you’re willing to take this attempt. But the indecision of what you want feels like a tormenting battle, because what she says is true. Undeniably, there would be so much negative repercussions for this change, especially if any word gets out that the artists have all been simply lying about how much they work for themselves.

Even if you are rightfully owed acknowledgement that the creations are yours, it’ll come at the cost of so many careers and reputations that it feels greedy. You know it’ll do more harm for SoundWave than good for you in the public’s perspective, but it hurts watching everyone around you claim what you made is theirs.

“I realize that.” You say carefully, hands in your lap knotted into fists to help you maintain composure. “That’s why the contract only specifies that a certain percentage of music would be properly credited to me. The idols will still largely be seen as the songwriters and producers that the public think they are, I’ll just be added in like some of the other names you allow into the credits.”

“Which songs? At your discretion or ours?” Yerin asks rhetorically, earning an irritated glower from Taehyung who still sits beside you in silence to let you lead. “And what happens when this contract’s terms aren’t enough to satisfy your selfish desire to have your name in all of the albums? Are we simply supposed to grandfather out the perception that our idols are self-sufficient until it has transferred to being completely engineering by songwriters and producers behind the scene, and assume the public will simply be on board to go along with such an outrageous idea?”

You sit still, watching as Yerin’s sentences end leaving her with visible scowl. Clearly annoyed now. Similar to the anger that she expressed towards you, Yoongi, and Jimin months earlier, but presently it’s because of your own stubbornness. Though her own unyielding demands are also to blame, so tension releases from your fists and your eyes tighten into a glare,

“Your plan right now is to continue to lie to the public. The reputation of this company is already destroyed, it’s just waiting for them to find out. Keeping me locked in a contract that forces me to lie with you all isn’t my fault. I didn’t make the original contract that puts business gain above public trust. And frankly, I’m not trying to ruin SoundWave right now, I just want my name next to my songs. The artists still sing them, perform them, make money from them-- this whole company capitalizes ridiculously off of my work, and all I’m asking for is my name to be public.”

Beside you Taehyung watches curiously, a bit surprised that the eruption of a speech left you with such an intense disposition opposite to how nervous you were when meeting with him at the lobby. But this closer resembles what Yoongi mentioned about you to him.

Yerin’s erect posture falters as she reclines back into her seat, eyes fixated in angry slits towards you still. Not as menacing, shifting towards a bothered stare as composure appears to regain itself in her.

She examines you, knowing you’re miles from your comfort zone, having never spoken to her like this before. There’s not a single moment in the history of you at the company where you’re appeared so set in the fire of argumentation, and on one hand it’s mutually respected by her because she realizes completely that you’re just trying to fight for what you believe necessary. Yerin can’t fault that when years earlier she’d done the same for herself to get her to where she is today, but at the same time it isn’t a quality that she can reward in this situation.

“With the addition of your public relationship with Min Yoongi, it’s even more unlikely that the public will give positive attribution to your name should you begin to be credited outright. Your first exposure will be put under scrutiny because people will assume you’re using him for the work, or that he’s manipulating the company for his own gain. In either scenario, you won’t be well received. On top of everything else it’ll do to SoundWave’s reputation. For the sake of the company, and all of its employees, including you, I can’t let your terms be agreed to.”

Candidly said as it is polite, Yerin lets her decision take over the ambience. Spilling into every molecule of air, you’re left with no choice but to consider what she says as unchangeable. Just like you expected all along. From the first time you started to ponder the idea, you knew the outcome would be as it is now.

An uncredited employee is the extent of what you can be in SoundWave.

“While I understand you’re upset,” Yerin starts again, entirely calm. Like she’s won. “There can still be made adjustments into your salary and the royalties you earn as a way to mediate your frustration-”

“It’s not about the money.” You’re voice is calm too; flowing like drops into a lake that don’t disrupt the water. And your eye contact into Yerin’s is direct as well. Incomparably challenging from that of any you’ve made with her years earlier. You can tell by her slightest of frowns that Yerin realizes this is different from other times. Unwavering like you would have been even months earlier at the beginning of the year.

Yerin opens her mouth, to try another angle, but your head shaking is enough to make her stay silent, listening as you finish the meeting in a cut,

“I won’t renew my contract then. Once the time stated in it ends, I quit.”

if you enjoy please, please let me know via ask, comment, rb with tags– however ! i’d just really appreciate feedback 🥺 i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

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[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 8x09 Brain Dump

It was...not all bad. I really want to like this. I love Mia, William and FTA. I want to enjoy BS like I did in S7. I want to see Dinah written consistently with any kind of actual character. Well, at least my love for FTA is still intact 😂😂

Mia

Kat was brilliant in this episode. Her leading lady really jumped out 😂😂 Her emotional moments hit the mark, and I think she juggled her post-Crisis new life with her old memories brilliantly.

We opened on her waking up in the Queen mansion(!), with a very yummy Diggle Jr in her bed, only it’s JJ not Connor 😱😱 She’s also surrounded by adorable family photos, showing that Oliver got his wish of her and William growing up together (and confirmation that the Olicity Love Cabin still existed!) Basically, she’s living the best life that Oliver could have wished for her, without him in it, of course 😭

Probably the most notable change in ‘new Mia’ (other than her being infinitely happier and living in a crime-free city) was her social poise. She’s been brought up in Oliver Queen’s old world, and is quite the socialite, only without any of the haughty frivolity that one might expect (I imagine we have Felicity for that 😍). She loves her life and her friends, and she defends them, especially in the face of Laurel, who seemingly does nothing but scoff at her lifestyle for the whole episode 😒 I loved her addressing the press!! That was pure Queen! Maybe the influence of a certain Aunt Thea?

Source: feilcityqueen

More below the cut…

Basically this Mia is smart and loving and happy, and Oliver gave her a warm and otherwise full life, save for finding her true purpose (which is gonna be vigilanteing, of course). So of course BS and Dinah rock up and upend it all 😂 I really liked how they made the returning of Mia’s memories a source of conflict, as well they should. It was so brutal to just return them with no preamble, to destroy what happiness Oliver had given back to her, just because, what? BS couldn’t complete her own fucking mission? (More of that later lol) Then Mia standing up to BS when she went as far as to mock Mia’s new world, just gave me life!!!

Anyway, with her memories restored, and bad guys to track down, of course Mia couldn’t resist her heroic calling and suited up, then proceeded to be the epic badass that we have grown to love.

Source: kathmcnamara

I loved seeing her struggle with her memories returning, and the guilt that they brought with them of not living up to Oliver’s legacy. At the same time, she appreciates what Oliver did for her, that all he wanted for his family and the city was to be safe and happy. She ultimately decides to remain the Green Arrow, taking up the guard of her city in her father’s memory, to protect the new world that he sacrificed himself to create.

Source: felicityqueen

We’d seen she’d developed her ‘street smarts’ in the flash-forwards, so I think she’ll end up bringing these together with her new social skills, and badass moves, and be an unstoppable force!! Hopefully that will include her old FTA team as well, and not just the two feathered ones 🙄

FTA/JJ

God this needed more FTA.

We got a small amount of William, more of JJ, what with him being Mia’s fiance (!!), and little more than fleeting glances of Zoe (!) and Connor. The disrespect!! 😂

William (who even knows his surname in this new life?) continues to hold my whole heart in his hands 😍😍

Source: oliverxfelicity

LOOK AT HIM!!!!💗💗💗

He seems to have been least affected in terms of his character, post-crisis. It’s implied that he’s running Smoak Tech, and that he and Mia grew up together and are basically each others’ ride-or-dies 😭😍😭 

I truly hope if the show is picked up, that they increase the William content by a solid 1000% 😂 He brings so much heart and a certain humour and lightness, just like Felicity brought to Arrow, and Ben is such an amazing actor. The new show will need a William. BADLY. He really seems to have his shit together (in the very limited time we have seen him of course 😒), but I’m hoping that that doesn’t lead to Mia keeping her memories from him for long (although remembering who their Dad is, I’m guessing she could take a while 😂😂).

So JJ proposes to Mia at the beginning of the episode!!!! Apparently they are the love of each others lives here. Dig clearly learned from what Connor told him, and steered JJ away from becoming a murdering gangster...YAY! Although it seems that in doing so, our darling boy Connor ran into a few issues of his own 😫😫 It looks like there is no love lost between him and Mia, that he has been in and out of rehab, and is now somewhat of a bad boy 😏😏 But when they first lock eyes there is still definite history and heat there and, just HJJHDFVGDFK 🔥 BACKSTORY IS NEEDED!! Then at the end, JJ has his memories restored by scary-dude-in-cloak (who I was totally hoping would be Dig or Oliver tbh 😂), so I’m super interested to see how he copes with his dual memories!! So now Mia loves JJ, but knows he was evil and killed Zoe, and she hated Connor, but now remembers they had feelings for each other and that he is a beautiful soul, and all the shit is gonna hit the fan!!! I usually hate love triangles, but this is so exciting, with the good boy/bad boy switch up, and then the opposite memories being returned...YAAAAASSSS!! Although I’d like to make it clear that, whilst I’m going to enjoy the drama getting there, I am firmly in the SmoaknHawke end game camp!! 

And as excited as I just got, all of this took up just about 5 mins of screen time 😫😫 It reminds me of what Arrow was lacking in its early episodes...heart and hope. They lucked into it with Felicity/Emily, but they have it here, ready and waiting, and are so far not using it.

Kat knows what’s what. This is the show we deserve. 

Birds

There was a lot of bird action. Apparently in shaping a perfect future, Oliver saw fit that Mia never met BS or Dinah...this is why we stan 😂😂 Dinah has also seemingly been erased from the history books 😬, waking up after Oliver’s funeral (😒😭) 20 years in the future, so naturally becomes a bohemian, opens a bar and sings a lot. Cool, I’d probably do the same 😂😂 Laurel, it seems, went off to spend time with Sara, and has apparently become a solo time-traveller, trying to stop 2041 from becoming a really bad year. Righto. 

Dinah was actually ok in this episode, if not hugely out of character, but that in itself has been inconsistent throughout the show, so here’s hoping that the zen-filled peacemaker that she was in this episode continues! Dinah’s new-found peace and bearability seemingly comes at the cost of Laurel being utterly awful. She rocked up in the future like Billy Big Bollocks with a huge chip on her shoulder, just sneering her way through the episode. She had such bitterness, disdain and anger directed towards Mia (and Dinah, at times) for no apparent reason, when they seemed to have somewhat bonded previously?! She spent the majority of the episode sauntering around looking down on everyone, portraying a bitchy-tomboy type, deeming anything vaguely typically feminine or not hard-moody-’badass’ as beneath her. This is not #girlpower. Fuck off.

Then we have that clusterfuck of a scene at the exhibition 🙈🙈 where BS tries to tell Mia that she used to date her Dad, before quickly correcting herself to “some version of him, anyway”, as if they were one and the same 🙄 Laurel’s continual need to imply that she knows, or has history with our Oliver is infuriating as hell. E2 Oliver died on the Gambit in his early 20s. Even if he was similar in character to E1 Oliver up until then, that person bears no likeness to the man he became. Her past with her ‘Ollie’ is entirely irrelevant to the man that was Mia’s father, who she barely even got to know at all save for a couple of episodes in S8. And not only the implication that she knew him, but then to actually try to trash him as well, to his kid?! All to push her idea that all versions of people are the same (which was refuted when JJ doesn’t even turn out to be behind the Deathstroke mask anyhow)? NO! At least Dinah and Mia were cringing along with us 😂

It’s just astounding, the turnaround they’ve managed with Laurel/BS. They already did the unthinkable in S7 and got a lot of people from this side of the fandom to empathise and warm to her, without pissing off her existing fans. I really did grow to like her in S7 (check my reviews, I still can’t believe it 😂), she was snarky, but not bitchy, and showed some heart and vulnerability. So it’s mind-blowing how they took all that growth and just obliterated it this season, and then even more so in this episode where she is just plain nasty and unlikeable. 

I do think, however, that giving BS and Mia a tempestuous relationship from the off was a good idea, cos let’s face it, you can tell there is no love lost between them. But they could have made them clash in a better way than BS just being an arsehole to Mia for most of the episode. My best guess is her anger comes from Mia coming out of Crisis with a life untouched by violence, whilst her earth was still lost? (Was it? I can’t actually remember if E2 came back.) She can’t complete her self-appointed mission on her own and knows she needs Mia’s help to do it?? I don’t know. She had a lot to say about JJ supposedly being a ‘homicidal manic’...pot, kettle much?! She also seemed to find the notion of Mia initially wanting to just appreciate the peaceful life she had been given and not becoming a vigilante reprehensible, but why? BS is the one that needs to atone for past sins. Mia does not. 

Stray thoughts

That cliffhanger!!! WHO TOOK OUR WILLIAM?!?!?!

The music was...not good. Especially during the fight scenes. Arrow was always so on-point with its score. I don’t understand how this can be so bad?! I did like hearing Mia’s theme in there, though, that was a nice tie-in the old flash-forwards.

Who is this Kevin that cheated on William? He must be destroyed!😡

Some of that future make-up was really something 😬😬 2040 is all about the severe/dead and unblended looks, apparently. The fashion was fabulous though!

The dialogue in the action scenes was soooo hammy.

Who is the mysterious, villainous “she”???

“Frack you!” and “I’m not interested in joining your Canary club” YAASS MIA 😂

William and Mia’s “pet rock” talk was super cute 😍 

Oliver’s statue!! 😭😭😭

Hopes for the future, if series gets picked up:

Increased focus on Mia/FTA. We have such a fresh, interesting, diverse cast, with intertwined back stories ready to go for this show here already, waiting to be used. USE THEM.

A deadly outbreak of avian flu 😂🙊

Failing said outbreak...keep the birds in the background or MAKE THEM LIKEABLE. This is a chance for a clean slate!

I wanna see Papa Dig so bad. David had said we’d get to see 2040 Dig in Arrow, but looks like that isn’t going to happen now, and I’d just love to see how he is. I can also imagine David being entirely done, and not wanting to be a part of this, however, but a cheeky little cameo would be amazing 😂

SmoaknHawke to RISE 🔥🔥🔥

As it stands, I’ll watch if it goes to series, but for how long remains in question. I just know I cannot get on board with the faux feminist “heart/vulnerability/girly is ‘weak’! Let’s be hard/edgy/angry badasses and fight men and show the world we’re strong pow pow pow” narrative that BS in particular, but also the general tone of the show overall, is trying to portray. I really think that if the show is picked up that they should look to see what is working and what is falling flat on its arse. It’s in dire need of more heart and fewer birds imo, but we can have both, if they’d just write them as better people.

Thank you to the beautiful gif-makers 😘 Any uncredited gifs are mine.

💗💗💗

#Arrow 8x09 #Arrow #Arrow spoilers #Mia Smoak Queen #Green Arrow and the canaries #Arrow Season 8 #beccie's brain

[oceanivoxjoquainx]

Let's talk about Eric Effiong

Let's be honest Eric's storyline and characterization is one of the most appealing out of all the characters in Sex Education periodt. A true gay, fierce, Drag QUEEN and I feel like ranting about this amazing force of nature. (Spoilers. Duh.)

When I saw the trailer for Sex Education it didnt even hit me that Eric was gay until I read the synopsis. Was just like "Oh I wonder which one of these three mains are the gay one people keep talking about" even after I saw him in drag like a dumbass 😣😂. Personally im glad we've reached a point where gay guys aren't overly feminine and even the brightest colours won't differ a character from the rest (unless I'm just a blind bish and he was obviously gay from the trailer) ei 👏🏾 ther 👏🏾 way; his character was refreshing when I started watching the show. I immediately clicked with him and knew what every look he gave or hand gesture he did meant. Felt nice. When Adam pushed him into the locker for the first time and started with the heterohomoerotic bs I knew that Adam had a raging boner for Eric and was another internalized homophobic bully™ and wasn't really excited for what was to come but I knew it was coming and tbh I liked it in the end.

Eric and Otis' friendship is so pure. Like?!? Get me a straight supportive bestie lilke Otis? Ik they fought but even then Otis was respectful and kept his boundaries and let Eric go through the motions before immediately belting into an apology at the first chance he got. Their dancing scene?!? Iconic. The fact that Eric sees Otis' house as safe and another home?!? Iconic. Otis going drag with Eric to watch an LGBT+ movie as a TRADITION (meaning they've done it numerous times)?!?! Iconic. The fact that Otis was straight up ditching Eric and Eric STILL tolerated him and let him do his thing without too much pressure!?! The most iconic of them all. Just pure love and respect all around.

I am so proud of Erics growth over the course of the season starting from a naive and scared gay doormat to facing homophia and getting beat up by those assholes on his birthday no less to losing his best friend and becoming depressed to channeling that anger into defending himself when people tried him to getting his sparkle back and coming back more fierce that ever before.

Speaking of him getting his sparkle back lets talk about that and why that scene is so important. A random guy asked Eric for directions and Eric noticed his nails were polished and the guy was wearing earrings and he was a big ole black dude. He was like Eric. When Eric noticed that the guy was out, loud, glamorous and proud he immediately switched back into the bright colourful and wonderfully gay Eric we all know and love.

THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!

It shows people that its okay to be who they actually are and inspires those who are lost to find or return to their true selves. Representation isn't just some offhand thing to throw on a character last minute. And even if you can relate to other characters who arent like you, it is always an amazing feeling to have a character that IS like you. It turned Eric from a popularity seeking doormat into a hurricane with 6 inch heels who was ready to straight up beat down a bully he's had for 4 years. It even inspired him to go back to church and rejoin a community that he closed off. That's exactly how it feels to have someone successful in the media and your life to look up to. Eric only interacted with that man for a few minutes but those few minutes changed his life for the better. So that's a lovely reminder for all who love to bash representation.

Back tracking to Eric's dull colourless period after the attack and his fight with Otis. It was saddening to see one of the brightest characters go dull and even the school felt it. He turned from a guy who rarely stood up for himself and what he wanted into the sass master he reserved only for his friends. All of his built up anger was released causing him to explode on Mr Hendricks (who is adorable tbh and just trying to do his best) and Anwar (I was proud of that punch you go glenn co co) and he even sounded off on his dad who he's usually passive aggressive to at worst. Just goes to show that the happiest faces can harbor the biggest pains and can snap. Moral of the story? Protect the happy few.

Eric also has a great family. Like that obviously know Erics gay and wears dresses because its all right there in his room which his parents enter at their leisure and while it seems that they're a bit homophobic its revealed that they (Erics dad at least) just wants Eric to be safe as he's already a target for being black and apart of an immigant family. He accepts Eric for who he is and what he does he just doesnt want anyone else to give him shit for it and if that's not one of the sweetest things in this world idek what is. Eric and his dad was probably one of my favorite dynamics in the show and watching his dad slowly fully accept that his son was strong and able to stand for himself he was able to become stronger too. This dynamic is important because I never see any gay black characters have a close relationship with their fathers and it was very heartwarming to watch.

Now onto Erics love life. He has a crush on the highschools other only gay guy Anwar who's the typical mean sassy gay we've all come to expect in highschool dramas. Otis saying that Eric doesnt have to have a crush on the only other openly gay guy at school was such a mood as its commonly shown that any gays in close proximity should get together. When Eric punched him I internally went "Finally!" Because all those jeers were becoming annoying. I'm glad Anwar got to come out to his mum over it though. And straight up told the audience that Eric didn't like feminine guys (alluding to him and Adams eventual clean up scene as of we didn't see it coming already).

Moving on to Adam tho, like I said we all been knew that this

was indeed coming and even though I hate the bully x bullied trope I still ended up liking it and hoping that Adam would change. The building up to that kiss was long awaited from episode 1 straight through to 8 with all the longing looks that Adam kept side glancing Eric with and the face cupping and the growls and the lingering touches. I just kept going sthdjksksbslaldbd when one of those moments happened followed shortly after with disgust because gays falling for their abuser is washed up but then immediately going back to jajaklamabsldkd because im shipping trash so 🤷🏿. Eric stepping to Adam in at the ball was one of the most iconic scenes of the show (along with the "Its My Vagina" scene) and the exchange between him and Adam gave be actual chills. The tension was THICCCC. Erics OUTFIT to the ball gave me chills 😭😭 dude came to slay and had everyone at that school proper shook and I honestly could NOT be more proud. I was hoping Adam would become a better person over the course of the season but nope so hopefully they cover all the issues that Adam has in season 2 and properly give him a redeption arc cuz he's still a trashy pos he's just a disaster bi on top of it. (Adam immediately going to suck Eric off is confidence I can only dream of achieving 💀💀) The lab scene was also cute but made me mad because how could Adam look scared, confident and still be a douchebag all in the span of a few seconds was beyond me. A+ acting on Connor Swindells part. I can see why Adam would have to stay in the closet and keep their... relationship?? a secret because it seems like Headmaster Groff would be a homophobic piece of shit and would add to the ever growing list of things Adam did wrong. Even so it doesn't excuse the fact that Adam is in fact a bully and Eric deserves much better. Was sad seeing Adam being driven off from Eric in the end tho. Eric thought that Adam didn't want to see him at all and was probably heartbroken and probably thinks Adam left because of him (my poor baby 😭😭). I feel bad for Adam too because he was just starting to express himself and was at the beginning of a redemption arc when he was just wisked away from the boy he's loved for what seems to be a very long time. I just want my boys to be happy and non toxic and I wish their relationship and them all the best in Season 2.

Eric Effiong is my favorite character in the show and I really want to thank Ncuti Gatwa for portraying him so well and for the shows writers who gave him a very fleshed out character with an amazing storyline and conclusion. His growth was incredible and his strength is immeasurable. I'm 100% certain that he will be a character the community remembers for years to come. Patiently now waiting on what's to come in Season 2 💙🙌🏾.

#eric effiong #ncuti gatwa #adam groff #connor swindells #adam x eric #sex education netflix #sex education #netfix #lgbt representation #lgbt characters #lgbtq

[marvellouslymadmim]

Tropes!

tagged by @room-on-broom (thanks, love dove!)

Slow burn or love at first sight?: My number one used tag on AO3 is slow burn. I know what I’m about, son.

Fake dating or secretly dating: But like...both is also good.

“Oh no, there’s only one bed” or long distance correspondence: Why is this even a question, we all know the right answer here.

Hurt/comfort or amnesia: Listen. HC is where the rubber meets the road on all relationships, regardless of dynamics or type of love (platonic/romantic/etc). And I am an emotional excavator, so I go mad wild for this shit.

Enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers: Both? Both. Both is good. Entirely depends on the dynamic.

Mutual pining or domestic bliss: Both? Both. Both is good. Domestic bliss that comes from years of mutual pining is thE PINNACLE.

Smut or fluff. I feel like the “or” should simply be an “and” here. Tender and dirty for the win, yo.

Fantasy au or modern au: Most of the stuff I stan is already sci-fi/fantasy, so I like seeing them in “our” world.

Alternative universe or future fic: It really depends on how well done it is, but I’m usually pretty hesitant about most AUs. 

Kid fic or road trip fic: Ok, this one’s tough. To read? Generally roadtrip because I work with kids all day erry day and a LOT of writers do not correctly write children and it really just kills it for me. To write? Depends on the pairing and their dynamic.

Canon compliant/missing scenes or fix-it: I mean, aren’t missing scenes basically a type of fix-it? For me as a writer, fix-its are extremely canon compliant, with just a wee bit of wiggle room. But if I have to choose...fix-it. Fuck canon, never met her.

Reincarnation or character death:  Neither? Neither. Neither is good.

One-shot or multi chapter: DePeNdS oN tHe StOrY, love.

Time travel or isolated together: With the exception of Dr. Who, I’ve never really been drawn to the idea of time travel. Often because it’s used as a deus ex machina bit. 

High school romance or middle aged romance: LOOK. Don’t gimme that “i’m 16 i don’t even know what I want/like yet” BS. Gimme the “I have loved before, I know what I’m getting into. I have waited and wanted and pined for you and I’ve got both feet solidly on the ground as I choose you, again and again, every day til the end, amen”. Gimme the “we have worked for this, we have failed for this, and we have chosen to keep going.” GIMME THE ADULTS IN THE ROOM WHO UNDERSTAND JOY AND COMPASSION AND LONGING AND THE SHEER SEDUCTION OF A GLANCE *screams into infinity*

Arranged marriage or accidental marriage: I can do both but there’s so much more awkward comedy in ye olde What The Fuck Did We Do Last Night?

Sci-fi au or magic au: Witchy shit, all day erry day.

Neighbours or roommates: Neighbours. I have had multiple roommates and never wanted to sleep with them, so I always go “yeah, no, not tracking for me.” The girl across the courtyard though...

Body swap or gender-bend: Neither concept is one I actively seek out, as reader or writer. Though there have been some good pieces I’ve read featuring those concepts. 

Angst or crack: But only if the angst is productive (i.e., it establishes a character’s backstory aka motivating principles, it allows another character to provide comfort, it brings forth growth in a healthy way). I actually WISH I could write crack because those are always the stories that have me cryign with laughter and I cherish them so deeply.

Apocalyptic or mundane: I mean...I could do both, depending on the day and the mood I’m in. But I do love little quiet moments. That’s where love is made, man. In the mundane. 

I tag @twtd11 @cassiopeiasara  @culturepopper @carissa190 @saltbroom and anyone else who wants to play!

#trope ask #idk how to tag this tbh #tag game #thanks roomie!