Self-doubt : Insecurity atau justru main ingredient for success
Self-doubt : Insecurity atau justru main ingredient for success
Suatu ketika, marshmallow di atas meja. seseorang punya waktu lima belas menit untuk tidak memakannya karena marshmallow kedua yang besar dan empuk sedang menanti , tetapi hanya jika dengan menahan keinginan untuk memakan yang pertama.
Satu hadiah sekarang, atau dua hadiah nanti: Keputusannya mungkin tampak jelas bagi kita, tetapi bagaimana dengan anak prasekolah yang lapar?
Sebuah kisah,
Pada akhir 1960-an dan awal 1970-an, seorang peneliti bernama Walter Mischel melakukan serangkaian penelitian yang mengeksplorasi pengendalian diri dan kepuasan tertunda pada anak kecil. Dalam "eksperimen marshmallow" yang sekarang terkenal, dia menguji kemauan anak-anak prasekolah dengan meletakkan marshmallow di atas meja di depan mereka. Sebelum meninggalkan ruangan, Mischel menjelaskan kepada anak-anak bahwa jika mereka menunggu untuk makan marshmallow sampai dia kembali, mereka bisa mendapatkan satu lagi. Bisa ditebak, sebagian besar anak tidak bisa mengumpulkan kendali diri untuk menunda hadiah mereka.
Studi yang sedang berlangsung menunjukkan bahwa mereka yang menolak dorongan marshmallow mereka demi peluang yang lebih baik di kemudian hari umumnya lebih berhasil.
Dalam tes lanjutan pada tahun 1988 dan 1989, anak-anak yang sekarang dewasa yang menunda pemuasan mereka berhasil lebih baik di sekolah, mengatasi stres dan frustrasi dengan lebih baik, dan umumnya lebih rasional dan kompeten secara sosial daripada anak-anak prasekolah yang langsung makan marshmallow.
Di samping sains, hipotesis eksperimen mungkin terdengar lebih benar dari sebelumnya. Dalam budaya pemuasan instan, kebanyakan dari kita mengalami kesulitan untuk menunda hadiah. Dan itu ada hubungannya dengan pikiran kita: kita kehilangan kemampuan untuk berpikir.
Mari kita telusur bersama.
Apa marshmallowmu?
Kita semua sering menghadapi pilihan ini: baik sekarang, atau terbaik nanti?
Ada smartphone baru yang ramping di pasaran, dan untuk membelinya, namun harus meletakkannya kartu kredit untuknya. Apakah kita akan menghindari hutang atau menikmati aliran dopamin yang datang dengan perangkat baru yang baru?
Jika kita membiarkan pikiran pertama, kita bisa menyebutnya “dorongan” atau “naluri” , hal ini hampir selalu mengarahkan kita ke pilihan yang paling memuaskan, tanpa terlalu memikirkan diri kita di masa depan.
Seperti anak berusia empat tahun yang lapar dalam eksperimen, kita semua memainkan permainan melawan pikiran pertama kita. Kami ingin meraih marshmallow atau produk atau pengalaman baru yang mengesankan.
Masalahnya, naluri tidak selalu mengarahkan kita ke arah yang terbaik. Otak kita dikondisikan untuk mengarahkan kita menuju kesenangan.Itu tidak membantu bahwa semua yang kita inginkan hanya dengan sekali klik. Dengan sentuhan tombol, kita dapat memperoleh respons dopamin. Namun impuls bukanlah masalahnya. Masalah sebenarnya adalah kita tidak meluangkan waktu untuk berpikir. Permainan panjang kepuasan yang tertunda
Pentingnya self-doubt
Dalam microwave, dunia kepuasan instan, beralih ke kompor lambat bukanlah kebiasaan. Kita tidak bisa serta merta mematikan impuls kita, atau pikiran dan ide yang langsung melayang ke permukaan pikiran kita. Tapi kita bisa meluangkan waktu untuk mengamati dan akhirnya menanyai mereka.
Di sinilah seni menginterogasi diri sendiri masuk.
Coba kita pikirkan pikiran pertama kita seperti rancangan kasar mental. Mungkin ada beberapa materi yang bagus di sana, tetapi untuk mencapai tujuan yang kita inginkan, mungkin perlu melakukan beberapa revisi dan perbaikan. Self-doubt mempertanyakan impuls dan keinginan kita untuk menemukan jalan ke depan yang lebih baik yaitu jalan menuju pemikiran terbaik kita. Jalan menuju marshmallow kedua.
Konsep ini terangkum dengan baik dalam gagasan berpikir tingkat kedua. Karena kita mengalami kesulitan untuk menunda kepuasan kita, kita membuat keputusan yang positif tingkat pertama dan negatif tingkat kedua. Pilihannya mungkin langsung memberikan hasil yang memuaskan, tetapi kita harus membayarnya nanti.
Untuk mencapai kesuksesan sejati, dan untuk tetap setia pada hal-hal yang benar-benar kita inginkan, kita harus bertanya pada diri sendiri.
Pentingnya meluangkan waktu untuk berpikir
Jika self-doubt sangat penting untuk mengatasi impuls, maka perhatian sangat penting untuk menata itu. Dengan kata lain, kita tidak dapat memiliki pemikiran original atau bertahan lebih lama dari impuls kita tanpa waktu khusus untuk berpikir.
Saya suka apa yang ditulis oleh penulis esai dan kritikus William Deresiewicz:
“Hanya dengan berkonsentrasi, berpegang teguh pada pertanyaan, bersabar, membiarkan semua bagian dari pikiran saya ikut bermain, saya sampai pada ide original. Dengan memberi otak saya kesempatan untuk membuat asosiasi, menarik koneksi, mengejutkan saya. Dan seringkali bahkan ide itu ternyata tidak terlalu bagus. Saya perlu waktu untuk memikirkannya juga, untuk membuat kesalahan dan mengenalinya, untuk membuat awal yang salah dan memperbaikinya, untuk bertahan lebih lama dari dorongan hati saya, untuk mengalahkan keinginan saya untuk menyatakan bahwa pekerjaan telah selesai dan beralih ke hal berikutnya.”
Saya menyadari bahwa dalam dorongan hati saya untuk melontarkan ide dari seorang rekan melalui teks. Atau refleks saya untuk meraih ponsel saya dan memeriksa berita, meskipun dimatikan.
Tetapi kali ini juga memberi saya kesempatan untuk mengevaluasi apa yang benar-benar saya inginkan, dan menggunakan keraguan diri yang sehat pada diri saya. Di saat tenang ini, saya bertanya pada diri sendiri pertanyaan:
Di mana saya berkompromi?
Bagaimana saya mengandalkan emosi daripada fakta?
Apa yang saya korbankan untuk mengalami hadiah langsung?
Waktu sendirian, menghapus diri dari hiruk pikuk kehidupan sehari-hari saya, memperbarui perspektif saya. Dan itu membantu saya berpikir lebih jernih, bijaksana, dan tegas ketika saya kembali. Menumbuhkan kehidupan yang bijaksana. Meluangkan waktu untuk mempertimbangkan keuntungan dan risiko dari keputusan kita. Memikirkan masa depan, bahkan jika itu berarti merasa seperti anak prasekolah yang lapar saat ini.
Bersikap kejam dalam mempraktikkan self-doubt, dan lihat ke mana itu membawa kita.
Dan, yang terpenting, menikmati marshmallow kedua kita.
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In regard to your pin post, what games do you like to play? I'm always a sucker for hearing about other tabletops people enjoy.
Ooooooh thank you for asking!!! I'm a big sucker for easy to run character focused games like Thirsty Sword Lesbians or Masks: A New Generation, but I also love love love games with potential for really cool and creative combat like Eidolon: Become Your Best Self, Gubat Banwa, and LANCER.
My primary experience is with Powered by the Apocalypse games, but I'm looking to expand my horizons a bit in the future! Blades in the Dark is super cool, but other Forged in the Dark games appeal to me a lot, especially Brinkwood - The Blood of Tyrants, a super cool game about organizing a revolution against colonialist capitalist vampires.
There's really so many amazing games by queer indie creators out there - Apocalypse Keys recently had its full release, as did EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER the TTRPG! There's really something for everyone. I really need to play more Ryuutama for its lovely adventure vibes, Hard Wired Island for a return to true anticapitalist cyberpunk, as well as Flying Circus for amazingly accurate WWI-era plane action in a miyazaki-inspired setting! Other stuff I've had for a while but need to play are Monster Care Squad, Heart: The City Beneath, and Comrades, a Revolutionary RPG.
There's also plenty of nice, charming, slower paced games as well. Wanderhome is a beautiful pastoral journey game, where everyone comes together to heal a land and experience wonders. Our Traveling Home is inspired by Howl's Moving Castle and has everyone play a unique role as a queer found family. Yazeba's Bed and Breakfast just released, and it's an amazing episodic experience packed full of beautiful content!
One of my favorite game creators is Dinoberry Press, creator of fantastic titles like Justicar, What Waits Beneath, and GUN&SLINGER, a cool 2-3 player game where one person plays a magical gun and the other their haunted wielder. It's got a couple great extra modes of play, too, like SWORD&BEARER or MECH&PILOT !
And there's even more amazing games in development. Dinoberry's You're in Space and Everything's Fucked just funded, as did HELLPIERCERS: TACTICAL HARROWING ACTION. Guns Blazing and Wetrunners are really close to being funded, too, check them out! Some other great games that aren't fully complete but you can play right now are ICON, Bloodbeam Badlands, Red West, and In the Time of Monsters, all of which are some of the COOLEST things I have ever seen.
Feel free to ask more questions about any of these! I love talking about them and I'm thrilled to see interest in indie ttrpgs!!!
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Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)
It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.
IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.
I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.
And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."
It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."
This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.
Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.
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