omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos đ„ș We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all đ
And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime đ„ș he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit
Heya anon!!
I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol
I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first đ
oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...
Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean đI've had this in my mind so... yeah đđđđđđđ
Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')
Happy reading!
As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didnât rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zenâin, and keep it a secret, it wouldnât take long before the guilt in each otherâs mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.
âWhereâWhere does this accusation even come from?!â You gasp, blood turning cold at the implicationâat the notion of the truth. âDo you know the gravity of such words?!â
âBetter than you of the act, it seems.â Another accuses. âWe were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!â
âIâI wonât tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!â you cry. âNor will Naoya for that matter!â
But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.
A supposed act of mercy.
He shouldnât have let this happen in the first place, shouldâve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Tojiâthe man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?
But he didnât, he allowed you to go to Tojiâno, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.
Consequences he did not like, not one bitâbecause it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Tojiâs child, and not his.
And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.
Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.
He loved you, he really didâNaoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone elseâŠ
But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldnât take it anymore.
And thusâŠ.
ââŠNaoya?â
âThis marriage was broken before it even started.â Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. âMy family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.â
âWhatâwhat are you even saying?â you breathe. âWhat do you mean byâby differently?â
And⊠where does everything you lived with him stand?
The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings heâd whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that comparesâŠ
And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this wayâlovedâ and would do everything in the world to make happyâŠ
Was it⊠all ⊠a lie?
All for⊠nothing?
Or were you the only one that actually believed the otherâs words?
âI cannot look past these transgressions.â Naoya continues. âYouâve left me no choice.â
âBut youâyou made me do this!â you gasp. âI neverâI never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you! Â How could youâhow could you abandon me after all weâve gone through together?!â
Naoya doesnât say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desiredâbanish you from the estate.
Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldnât be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didnât even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your ownâalone, pregnant.
Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that youâd bring upon their name was one the Zenâin didnât not waste time to remind them ofâat the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that youâve succumbed to such foul thing.
And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your accountâbut most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husbandâs indifference inflicted on it.
The pain you couldnât even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.
The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.
Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but youâre not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.
Naoyaâs ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zenâin.
You remember a time when any kind of ring wouldâve been enough for you to marry him. You didnât need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.
Thatâs nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.
It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring⊠well, had dubious origins.
When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water�
Many yearsâit had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, heâs been the one that took care of you.
You just had to say the word and heâd disappear all of your worriesâeven from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.
It was a happy life you eventually considered for your childâimagining how happy theyâd grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what theyâll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.
A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.
âŠ
Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?
Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?
There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husbandâŠ
Maybe ex-husband, by this point.
All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.
The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.
And yet⊠youâve never felt so alone.
Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you wouldâve wanted.
Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when itâs been months since⊠that.
But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant womenâtheyâre supposed to be at home, some would say, you didnât care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.
As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and thatâs without considering the medical bills youâre struggling to pay as well.
But if that wasnât enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.
Youâre not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisitionâall cashâof the small house you were living in.
From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.
Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.
However, what you want isnât necessarily whatâs going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.
It wouldnât be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand whoâd be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!
And youâd get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you couldâve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.
âGetâget away from me!â you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strengthâ but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.
âY/Nââ he breathes, somewhat amused that youâd been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.
âWhat are you even doing here?!â you gasp. âNoâthat doesnât matter! I donât want to see you! Iâm not going back!â
âIâm not here to take you backâ He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothesâwith this sight, he knows he canât take you back.
âThenâthen why are you here, Toji?â
Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.
He wasnât there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.
Toji wouldâve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.
But he couldnât bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasnât of his making.
For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.
And the baby⊠well, he wonât deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from hisâwith you as his mother, it couldnât be any other way.
Or so he believed.
Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.
Tojiâs slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousinâs annoying voiceâthere were moments where he imagined how delightful it mustâve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoyaâs; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didnât deserve you.
But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.
Not like now, gone from Naoyaâs side.
In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husbandâs idiocies.
Nothing.
And no one had seen you either.
Or more like didnât want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.
At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and heâd get the same answer.
The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomachâŠ
And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.
âNaoyaâWhere is Y/N?!â Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. âDo not run away, coward! Answer me!â
âSheâsâsheâs not here anymore.â Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesnât need to be reminded the obvious.
âWhere. Is. She.â He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. âWhat have you done to her?!â
âWhatâwhat needed to be done!â Naoya gasps. âIâI couldnât allow it!â
Toji doesnât remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her ownâonly that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.
No. It couldnât be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.
Nonetheless Toji didnât bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldnât even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.
It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didnât fit to do the jobâand such, here he is now.
âI wantâneeded to see you.â Toji takes a step closer.
âGetâget away from me.â
âNo, Iâm afraid I canât do that.â
âYou were fine doing that beforeâwhatâs so different from now?â You spat.
âThis is different, Y/N. Youâre aloneâand you need me.â
âIâm not aloneâI donât need you.â You gasp. âGet away from me or IâllâIâll call the police!.â
âIf you donât need me, then the baby does.â
Itâs like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.
Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.
But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.
âGetâ get away from meâŠ!â youâd say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesnât fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. âDonât touch me!â
âIâm not leavingâ Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesnât allow it. âYou can struggle all you want, but Iâm not leaving you on your ownââ
âWhat difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!â you breathe, Tojiâs eyes widenâhe did not know that; his fury for the Zenâin grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. âThey donât care if I die on the street!â
âI know.â He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.
âAnd IâAnd I tried my best toâto move on, but I canât! I canât do it!â you sob. âIâm so alone, and scared, andâand ashamed! I donât want to live like this anymore!! I donât want to die!â
ââŠI know.â
âWhyâwhy is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was forâwas for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I justâI just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!
But then heâhe tossed me away, at one thing he didnât like, he acted like I didnât even matter! He didnât even put up a fight to defend me! he justâhe just let them hurt me, like what we had wasâa lie!
 Did he neverâdid he even love me?â
Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoyaâs betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.
And all because of something you didnât even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoyaâs mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.
He wanted to do it; you know?
He wanted to go back there and murder them for all theyâd done against you.
But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is rightâwhat was needed.
If Naoya wasnât to step up and be a man, then he would.
Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.
Things your husband, could simply notâbut he⊠heâd do it in a heartbeat.
âI promise you.â Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.
 âI swear, Y/Nâ I will not let my family do the same things theyâve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.â
And unlike your husband, he means it.
Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.
Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...
agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!
Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!
Take care, and see you soon! â€ïžâ€ïž
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"Wash the plate not because it is dirty nor because you are told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next."
- St. Teresa of Calcutta
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Soft Astarion Jealousy
Now with part 2!
I love Ascended Astarion because he's horrible but the sweetness of the other end of the spectrum is impossible to deny. He's just so in love and grateful I can't đ„șđ„ș
So here's some jealousy that isn't psychotic. Well it is but not as bad:
Astarion never expected to be the jealous type. He always thought...well. In all honesty he never thought about the reality of having a relationship. He didn't even think it was possible for him, let alone the idea that he would actually want it. Even with you, even after he admitted a fraction of his own feelings to himself, he never thought that he would be so... possessive. Though admittedly, he had very good cause for it.
Because you were frustrating. So, so frustrating. For some idiotic reason, you simply didn't understand how alluring to others you really were. You were a pretty little thing, yes but that wasn't the problem. It was so much more than that. And he knew that the others wanted you. Every last one of them. Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Halsin. All of them like moths to a flame. And that wasn't even counting all of the strangers you had met on your journey, the extras that thought they had a shot with your greatness. They all wanted you in ways that made Astarion seethe. And the desire from others wasn't even the kind that he was used to, the kind he understood like the back of his hand. Because you didn't need to seduce to cultivate desire. All you needed to stoke the flames was merely your presence. Experiencing you was all that was required for people to know they wanted more.
Astarion knew that the others weren't just looking for a bedmate, they wanted you for the same reasons he had grown to. Your empathy, your desire to understand those around you. Your fearlessness, your infuriating habit of always trying to do the right thing. They wanted you for your laugh, the way your eyes would crinkle in the corners when your smile was too wide. Your silly jokes, your endless hopefulness for a future. It felt as though everyone around saw you for the gem that you were and it was... concerning. Extremely concerning.
Astarion hated thinking about things like this. He loathed admitting the truth to himself even more. But he was...terrified of losing you to someone else. Especially since it could so easily be done. He was so very lucky that you weren't the brightest, or at least not when it came to matters of the heart. You could do so much better than him, a fact that was incredibly obvious to everyone around you. Everyone but you, a luck that Astarion did not take lightly. But how much time did he have before it ran out? Would it ever?
Perhaps it was delusional, but he was starting to think when all of this was over, assuming neither of you perished anyway, that...it could just be the two of you. Living together, exploring the world, even if it had to be under the cloak of night. Maybe... maybe the two of you could even find a cure for his unsavory condition. The thought itself was incredibly stupid, but then again, it was just as idiotic to believe that there was a cure to the Mind Flayer parasite. But here they were, closer then ever. And if that was such an impossibility turned into reality, perhaps a vampiric cure wasn't so impossible. Or maybe even finding an alternative method for immortality for you, without the downsides of his own. Anything that could just keep you both together, for as long as possible. It was an unrealistic dream, that would never come into fruition. If anything it was dangerous, so very dangerous to even entertain the thought of forever. Especially when your connection was so tenuous.
Astarion would never be stupid enough to thank Cazador for anything but...he'd be lying if he said he wasn't appreciative for his own lack of subtly when it came to seducing you. Even if it originally was for distasteful reasons, it still got him ahead of the pack. If he had been less calculating, less astute, there was a sincere chance that you would be warming someone else's bed at night. Callousness would never be without it's uses, even if it led to uncomfortable situations like his current infatuation.
What would he do when you inevitably wanted to leave? How could he survive after having something so...good. Someone so caring, someone who for some very horrifying reason liked being around him. And the sex... it was fabulous. He was a massive fan of your intimacy, when he was capable of participating in it. He adored it, he adored you, your beauty, the sweet noises he could coax from your mouth, the europhia of being inside of you. Then there was the fact that you could be intimate without any traces of it devolving into lovemaking. He had never been gifted with the ability to say no before, so often and so freely without a single fear of punishment. If anything, it felt like he was rewarded when he was honest with you, when he would share his sudden fits of discomfort in his own body, the memories that plagued him and doomed him to staying stubbornly soft. You would never get angry, never even disappointed. You would just listen and smile, always adorable when you would ask, "But I can stay for a cuddle, can't I?"
An extremely silly question, considering the two of you hadn't spent a night apart from each other since you'd made it to the Shadowlands. Yet it never failed to make him melt.
It was getting worse, these feelings. He just wanted you around, by his side, constantly. Constant enough for him to get the ridiculous urge to hiss at anyone else who dared to come near you. He felt an intense need to protect the closeness the both of you had cultivated, the kind that he had never been allowed before. He had no interest in sharing you with your own friends when it came down to it, let alone another lover.
Which is precisely why his original, mild distaste for Halsin turned into a full-blown hatred the night he had the gall to proposition you.
It had felt like a shard of ice going through his chest when you bounded over to him, laughing about one of his greatest fears coming much too close to reality, "You won't believe the conversation Halsin and I just had-"
"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that," Astarion laughed, purposefully interrupting you. He had no desire to hear the specifics of that conversation. He didn't even want to be having this conversation, where you were inevitably going to ask if it was okay to explore someone else.
The answer was no. Never would he be okay with it, allowing someone else to be close to what should have been his. But he needed to think strategically here. To say no could be disasterous. If it became a game of choice between him and Halsin... he's almost certain he would lose. Halsin was everything he wasn't; caring, giving, sharing in your worldviews in a way that Astarion never could. He couldn't risk it, he wouldn't. Having you at all was better than nothing.
"But I'd never even consider something like that-"
"It's fine," Astarion interrupts again, the fakest smile he can muster plastered on his face. The pain was worth the risk mitigation, he was sure of that. But... he still had to ask, "But is this because we haven't...y'know, in awhile?"
A sick part of him prays that you'll say yes. Because if that's the reason, he could do something about it. He could force himself if need be to always tend to your needs. Especially if it meant keeping you to himself. It was such a small sacrifice in comparison to the rest of his life. He would do it in a heartbeat if you demanded, anything to just make you stay.
But that was not the answer he received. Instead you frowned, looking him up and down, "What? No, I-Astarion no. Please don't think that. What we have together is so special to me. The physical part of it is lovely, perfect even. But...it's not what we are."
It's almost comforting to hear you say that. But then why did that make the situation feel so much worse? If it wasn't sex you were after then that certainly meant you wanted more with Halsin as well, did it not? But it was too late to rescind it now.
Astarion nodded, a confused mixture of hurt and gratefulness swirling through him, "I just needed to know. But if you're satisfied with me and just want to explore, go right ahead. I'll be here when you're done."
You nodded slowly, brow furrowed when you asked, "So...we aren't exclusive then?"
"No, of course not," Astarion confirmed, ignoring everything inside of him that was screaming for him to take it all back, "We can be as open as you'd like."
"I see..." You said, trailing off with a frown. You coughed into your hand, looking up at him sharply. Sharp enough for him to be sincerely confused, "Does this mean that you'll be speaking to me before you explore your other options?"
"I-yes? If you want?" Astarion answered, a new type of unease settling in his chest. You didn't seem very happy with this conversation, despite his best attempts to give you what you wanted. Where had he gone wrong? Was he already working to throw you into the arm's of another man, without even trying?
You were still frowning at him, your look cold in a way that made him feel particularly ill, "Please do. I'd like to know everything. I'm going to speak to Halsin, get this all sorted. We can talk later."
And then you were spinning on your heel and marching away, like Astarion was the offensive party here. It made no sense. He had done it all right, hadn't he? Agreed to it immediately, didn't make you feel guilty, had tried to be what you wanted. How had he failed?
He didn't wait around to see you go to Halsin. Instead he went straight back to his tent, closing the flap as he laid down. Great. Fantastic. Now he would have to be aware, perhaps even hear you being with another, while simultaneously reliving that horrid conversation in his head for the entire night. The hurt and worry was making his mind wander to uncomfortable places. Perhaps...Halsin could be dealt with in another way if things became too serious between the two of you.
Would poisoning the man be too extreme?
But before Astarion had the time to start thinking of a more detailed plan he was interrupted. Suddnely, moonlight was filling his tent, with your silleoute shining in the darkness.
He blinked up at you, confused, "What are you doing here?"
You frowned at him, looking hesitant in the entry way, "Should I not be? I thought-I can go if you'd like."
"No!" Astarion blurted out, loud and desperate enough to make him cringe. He cleared his throat, trying again, his voice still a touch too pitiful for his liking, "No, no, come here darling. Of course you're always welcome. I just assumed you would be busy."
To his relief you listened, crawling into the bedroll next to him. Astarion didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around you, relieved to humiliating degrees that you had chosen to come back after the deed. Though...you didn't quite smell as he had thought you would. There were no traces of the floral, woodsy smell of the druid on your skin. Just the sweet, pleasant scent that he had grown so fond of.
You sighed as he tucked you against him, the warmth of you enough to make him relax for the first time that night. You laid together in a pleasant quiet, one that Astarion was actually scared to disturb. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to know what happened between the two of you.
But you broke the silence for him, muttering into his chest after the two of you were settled, "I'm...sorry for being snappish earlier. I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, and I know I don't own you. I shouldn't have assumed."
Astarion frowned, pulling back to get a proper look at your face. You looked hurt, sad even. Like you were the one who had gotten their heart broken. He could feel a curl of distaste settling in his stomach, annoyed that this felt as though the situation was being placed back to him. He had played his part, perfectly. What more could you ask for? What was there to assume?
"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Astarion carefully said, his eyes fixed on every micro expression on your face, "What did I do that could have been construed as incorrect?"
"Nothing!" You rushed to say, shame coloring your cheeks, "I was being stupid. You never promised me anything. I just...assumed. Wrongly that we were something we aren't."
That didn't-he-what? Astarion frowned at her, his confusion evident on his face, "What did you think we were?"
You looked uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze when you answered, "I thought that we were...together. Alone. Just us. But if that's not what you want I understand. It's fine-"
"What in the hells are you talking about?" Astarion blurted out, his anger and pain bubbling to the surface, "I haven't done a thing. And we were just us before you decided to galivant off with a bear of a man!"
He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. So much for playing things safely. No, he couldn't even have the self-control to stay quiet. He always had to ruin everything.
But surprisingly, you didn't look angry. If anything you seemed just as confused as he felt, "What? I didn't-we didn't do anything! When did I say I wanted to do anything with Halsin? You were the one saying you didn't care!"
You weren't making any damn sense, "Well why else would you ask me about it?"
"I didn't!" You huffed, glaring at him, "All I was going to say was that he asked me. And I wanted your help on how to best turn him down! And then you jumped at the chance to push me onto someone else-"
"I did nothing of the sort!" Astarion seethed back, "If it was up to me you would never look at another man again! Or woman for that matter!"
It was an odd feeling, to be arguing while holding each other so closely. But Astarion had no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if he could feel you squirming against his ironclad grip when you fumed at him, "Then why would you say it was okay?!"
"Because I don't want you to leave me!" He shouted back, loud enough to snap him out of his own anger. All of his fury was instantly replaced with fear. Gods, why had he felt the need to say that? To lay his biggest insecurity out on the line. Why not just hand you a stake while he was at it, since he was so eager to give you the tools to destroy him.
But you were still seething, hissing back at him, "Why praytell, would I leave the man I've been in love with for months? Hm? Please, explain it to me!"
Astarion couldn't. He was too busy being shell-shocked at the confession, feeling too many emotions at once. Joy, relief, somehow even more fear than before. You so freely said the words that he had done his damndest to bury, to ignore. But now they were out there, filling him with a horrifying joy.
He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't get the wrecthed words out. Instead he was just staring at you like an imbeicle, his mouth hanging opening at the confession.
But his silence didn't make you falter. Instead you looked determined, near fierce as you grasped his face into your warm hands, "I love you Astarion. You don't have to say it back. That's not what this is about. But I want you. And only you. If you want the same of me then you must tell me. Now."
Astarion let his hands flutter over your wrists, humiliating tears prickling at his eyes. But at least his vocal chords allowed him to answer you this time, "I do. So much more than you know. I want us. Just us. No one else."
The words were flowing out of him, too fast and sincere for him to make the appropriate edits in his head. He was saying too much, feeling too much, giving too much. But the way your eyes brightened at his words, the way you grinned at him before pulling him in for a sweet kiss made it suddenly feel like he wasn't giving anything up at all.
As much as he loathed to admit it, Astarion was exceedingly grateful for Halsin's existence after that night. He would never have had the gall to demand you to himself without a trigger, without the anger you both shared at being misunderstood. Because now, you were his. His alone, the proclamation coming from your own lips. And he was free to stop hiding how much he had wanted it. How willing he was to do anything to keep it. He let himself off his own leash after that, leaning completely into the mutual ownership you had of each other. No more would he silently sit back and seethe as a stranger flirted with you. No, now he'd be upfront and center, with a possessive hand around your waist as he glared them down, more than prepared with a confidence-shattering quip on his tongue.
He started to let all of his urges seep through, taking full advantage of your willingness. If Wyll looked at you for too long at the fire, with a touch of something that Astarion didn't like in his eyes, he'd effortlessly pull you into his lap onlookers be damned as breathed you in. If Gale suddenly had a suspect offer to teach you some new magic in a secluded location, Astarion would invite himself, impervious to any glares sent his way. And when he felt as though all of them were being a bit too flirtaious, he was more than happy to put them in their places at night. Spending hours upon hours making you scream his name in bed from pleasure, loud enough for everyone to hear and know exactly who you belonged to.
He couldn't care less if it added to his own unpopularity amongst their merry-band of rejects. Their opinions didn't matter. Not when you were eating all of the sudden attention up.
You let him do it all because you understood him, in ways that no one else had bothered to before. You knew who he was, what he wanted, the extent to how much he craved your attention. And you let it all happened, reveled in it even. The intense shows of affection. Because you loved him. And he loved you. And one of these days he'd allow himself to admit the obvious.
But for now, he had what he wanted. What he needed. And in the first time in his life, even with disgusting tadpoles squirming his his brain, Astarion was actually...happy.
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can you pls write something about reader being sick and like not the cough and cold kind of sick- like really really sick, and sukuna realising how much he doesn't want to lose her to this sickness and how if she dies, he'll be alone again..đ„ș
You have NO idea how much I love this idea!!! I did go a bit overboard with it cause I love suffering though đ Still, this was SO much fun to write and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Vows
Sukuna x Reader
Word count: 4.5k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, true form! sukuna, master/pet dynamic, fluff but most importantly ANGST, mentions of weight loss, mentions of violence, implied nsfw, reader dies in the end :( (sorry)
It's not the first time Sukuna has been made aware of your mortality. He recalls many instances when he's been reminded that you are human. Finite. The first time he wrapped his hand around your throat and squeezed with calculation while you were laying under him, and you looked up at him in fear for your life. Your little hand couldn't even wrap around his wrist, much less provide resistance. Or when he'd pull your hair a little too roughly, and hear a crack in your delicate spine. When you'd get sick, and humbly refuse his healing. So little as a tummy ache had you writhing on your bed.
You are so weak, so small, clinging to life like there was anything for you in it, beyond Sukuna. By all means he hates all of these things. So what witchery is this, and why does he care about you so much? Why does he keep you for years, and why does your company bring him comfort he hasn't ever known in his lifetime?
Still, as much as he cares, he doesn't notice when it starts. He's trained you to tolerate pain, after all. It's no wonder you hesitate to tell him. Little things like tummyaches and colds occur to you all the time anyways, and you never complain. Sure, you've grown closer to Sukuna, but he was still your master, and the rules he instilled in you from the start were always fresh in your mind, not to be crossed. Bothering him with everything that feels off always seemed inappropriate.
And Sukuna is just like that. If you're not screaming or crying, he won't know you're in pain. But he notices that you're acting off. And how he reacts really doesn't help your case, or encourage you to speak up about your condition. ''I don't have all day. What is wrong with you?'', he sneers when he catches you pacing too far behind him.
So you just sleep longer and preserve energy for when you are with him. You don't skip around as much anymore, or spend time doing your hobbies. Food doesn't taste so great anymore. You have a cough that gives you sleepless nights because it just won't calm down. And the time you owe Sukuna starts to feel like an obligation. You start to dread it. Dread slipping up, dread annoying him or failing to satisfy him. Dread being disposable.
When things start getting worse, it's hard to hide it even from him. He was taking you from behind one night, and you were grateful he couldn't see the look on your face. You thought you could do it. Sukuna was always demanding, but he would never force you to do anything. If only you told him before you felt yourself struggling for air, and your chest closing in on itself in tightness. You reached one hand back, frantically grabbing his wrist.
''Feathers, feathers!'', words came out as gasps, and you slumped forward when he let you go. You were panicked and crying by then, this kind of discomfort being foreign even to you, even after weeks of pain behind you. He hovered next to you with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't even being that rough.
''What's wrong? Tell me.'', he said, and reached his hand to feel the warmth of your tears streaming down your face. He swiped your cheek gently. He didn't seem mad at all. Why didn't you say anything from the start?
''I just feel so sick.'', you muster up in between sobs, and shut your eyes. You were too embarrassed to even look at him.
''I see.''. His hand leaves your face, and he traces it from your neck down your spine. The pain subsided slowly, allowing you to relax and find comfort in his arms.
But the effects of his healing were short lived. Just a week later the feeling of fatigue creeps back into your life. Manageable, but lingering. And the cough persists. And it gets on Sukuna's nerves too. He's been quite patient with you, but his patience was reaching it's limit.
You're sitting by his throne as you often do, and as hard as you try to hold the cough in, you just can't help it. His hand finds the back of your neck and squeezes, turning you to him. And he looks at you with all four, terrifying eyes. ''Can you shut up?''
''I'm sorry, I'm trying -'', you stutter, but just end up coughing more. He doesn't wait for you to stop.
''Get out of here.'', and pushes you away. You stumble down the pile of bones and fall, landing on your hands and knees. You don't remember him being this cruel to you in a long time. You look back at him with teary eyes, and he looks back like the merciless monster he is. The villagers awaiting him moved to make space for your fall, taking note of the tense situation.
That day, Sukuna sends word that he doesn't want to see you until you get better. You're forbidden from going outside again, in fear that that is making your 'cold' worse. It's a lonely week in your room, until Sukuna starts to crave you again. It didn't take him a while, counting the couple days he spent convincing himself he doesn't miss you. He does. So when he sends word for you again, and the servants come back to him saying you're still not feeling well... he's worried. So worried he comes to see it for himself.
Sukuna rarely comes to your room. It's the only space you have for yourself, and he doesn't want to take that away from you. Your room is modest. You have a bed, a carpet, and a couple shelves to house the books he's gifted you. There's a desk where you can eat and read, and a doorway to the garden. There's an empty glass of water and a napkin next to your bed. You're still sleeping, but the door shutting behind him wakes you up, so he doesn't get to enjoy observing you in your natural habitat for long.
It's not the first time doors opening and closing woke you up. But you know this time is different. The servants are always quickly shuffling around the room, cleaning up and moving around. Uraume clanks with plates. There is no noise now, other than your strained breathing and a cough brewing in the back of your throat. Besides, the aura that Sukuna brings with him everywhere he goes is recognizable. Especially to you. Heavy.
You turn around, and meet the gaze of his four eyes. ''Master...'', you struggle to sit up, and even a little action like that has spots forming in your vision. Then a coughing fit hits you. You pick up the napkin and put it to your mouth.
Sukuna sees your whole body strain with the effort of coughing. And when you call him master, even your voice sounds different. He knows your morning voice. He missed hearing it, but this... this is not it. You sit with your head hung low, staring at the napkin between your hands. There's a fresh splatter of blood on it. But Sukuna scares you more than the progression of your illness.
''Are you mad at me?'', you ask timidly, meeting his gaze.
''I'm concerned.", he says and sits next to you. You curl up to make space for him. "Two weeks is a long time for a frail human like you to be sick.", he looks at you, scanning your form up and down.
"I rested and drank every tea Uraume told me to!", your defense mechanism kicks in, and you start babbling.
Sukuna dismisses you with a hand and a pained facial expression. "I know.", he says. His brows are furrowed now, and he's looking at the ground, lost in thought.
You feel guilty for annoying him again. You feel guilty for the whole thing, getting sick, draining the energy it takes him to heal you, robbing him of the time with you that he deserves. Owns. He is very generous with the way he treats you, having all that in mind.
You tug on his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Master... You deserve better.", and you're sobbing again. Sukuna gives you a pathetic look, but smiles as he pulls you into his embrace.
"Silly pet. I can survive a couple weeks without your assistance.", he says, rubbing your shoulder.
You run your fingers against the back of his hand mindlessly, not knowing how to respond. Caressing his knuckles, bones, veins... feeling his nails and their sharp tips against your sensitive skin. When you bring his palm up to your lips, your kiss stains it red with blood.
-
You still sleep with Sukuna sometimes. Less frequently, only on days when you feel well enough, and those are rare. You've lost weight by now, sickness making itself visible on your body. You're sitting on his lap and clinging to your robes, scared that he won't like you as much, that you won't live up to his standards. But Sukuna's demeanor about your illness has changed, as he seemed to sense something unusual about it. He flips you over so gently, like you're made of glass, and peppers kisses from your neck downwards, slowly undressing you as much as you allow him. When he takes you, he's so careful. Constantly checking you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. You feel so loved and relaxed, and pleasure comes so easy when you're in this state. It's not the first time Sukuna is this caring with you in bed, but this time is different. This time you can't help but feel like he's saying goodbye.
He holds you afterwards, tracing his fingers over the ridges of your spine and your shoulders. You were always little in his grasp, but now that he feels your protruding bones under his fingertips, you seem all the more vulnerable.
"Will you kill me?", you ask, breaking the silence.
Sukuna frowns. "Nonsense. Why would I do that?"
There's a gulp in your throat. "It won't be long before I can't even do this. I won't be of any use to you then...", you say.
"Stop.", he says sternly. "There's a lot more to you than what you provide me with in bed."
You smile to yourself, but there's still a hole in your chest. Your statement is still true, and you aren't comforted. But this is Sukuna, and you know that he's offered you quite a lot even with that little bit of reassurance. To your surprise, he speaks again.
"Don't upset yourself. It's been a long time since killing you crossed my mind.", he says. "Save the energy for something else."
You nod and thank him. Just moments later, you're asleep. Quicker than ever before, he notes. You usually love it when he lets you cuddle and talk to him. You would force your eyes open when you were sleepy, just to enjoy it longer.
He feels guilty. He's your master, he's responsible for your well being. Yet nothing he does seems to help you long term. Healing you is temporary and he knows that without accessing the source, it will never work. If he could, he would find what was making you sick and rip it out of you with his bare hands, crush it with the force of his palm. He would have to look deeper, open you, and for once, he thinks he can't open a human being. He thinks of you trashing, screaming, and worst of all, looking into his eyes. Just the thought of you like that makes his chest feel like a gaping cavity. Worst of all, he's sure you would let him. He's sure you would forgive him for spilling your blood, and find comfort in his arms again. If you survived, that is. What has he done to you? And to himself?
Now, your head rests on his chest, and you're snoring lightly. For once, a repetitive noise like that doesn't annoy him. For once, he wishes he could listen to it every night. One day, that noise will be the only thing audibly confirming you're still alive.
-
Months pass and you're only getting worse. You barely leave your room now, too weak to even do so. You eat little, and it's showing in your sunken cheeks and eyes. You feel yourself withering away, loosing color, drying like a dying flower. Sukuna is in grief. He struggles to look at you, and visiting you falls heavy on him every time. He always finds himself thinking afterwards. Regretting that he let himself get this attached, wishing that he could simply forget you. But it doesn't work that way.
He goes to see you, after avoiding you for a week. He's Sukuna, he doesn't have any shame. You're sleeping, like you usually are when he comes to visit you. Your snoring is laboured, and it sounds painful. This time, the doors and the silence don't wake you up. He watches you, curled up under a stack of blankets, rising and falling with your struggles to breathe. How foolish he was, to think forgetting you would be as easy as avoiding you for days. How evil he was, trying to forget you while you are still alive under his wing, still his responsibility. Still his.
He sits next to you and leans over you, fingertips ghosting over your face. The snoring stops and you flutter your eyes open, turning in bed and feeling his body next to yours. You smirk at him, eyes adjusting to the light, and smile when you recognize him. ''Master.'', your arms wrap around his neck as you welcome him, your voice dry, but lively as you beckon him closer. ''I missed you.''.
He comes down to plant a kiss to your forehead. ''I missed you too, darling.''. Oh, the things that escape his mouth when he's alone with you. He cups your face, enjoying how much healthier you look with a smile on your face. ''Feeling any better?'', he rubs your cheek, lingering closely above your face.
You nod, but both of you know you only feel better because you saw him. Still, the little surge of happiness that brings you gives you more energy than you've had the whole week. You wiggle to the edge of the bed, making space and inviting him to join you. Sukuna lies down, hooking one arm underneath your neck and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your arm around him and lean your head against his shoulder. He's still as big as you remember him, unfaltering in the face of your illness. It's comforting. ''You didn't visit in a while. Were you busy?'', you ask, stroking his back. ''How were your days?''
''Monotone.'', he says. ''The villagers bring remedies for you every day, and wish for you to get well.'' It's no wonder. So many times, Sukuna found himself hesitating to kill just because you were sitting on his knee, dressed in something too pretty to be splattered with blood. In the local villages, word spread that you have ''domesticated'' Sukuna. As if such a thing was possible. Or was it?
''Oh?'', you smile. ''I didn't think they would notice my absence.''. You always were supposed to be Sukuna's accessory and nothing more. Remedies and good wishes make it sound like you're more important than just a pet. So it really is that obvious...
''They did.'', he says, and lowers his head, brushing his nose against your face. ''Some took that as an opportunity to gift me new pets.''
You blink at him, a bit taken aback by his honesty. You keep smiling anyways. ''Did you take any?'', you ask, and he sees nothing but genuine curiosity in your eyes. The truth is, you've had a lot of time to think about your place in Sukuna's mansion. You knew, especially in sickness, that you were never entitled to exclusivity with him. You knew that at some point you would have to be replaced, just by the virtue of being a mortal. A human, who would age and become ugly, wrinkled and useless. You were just unlucky enough to meet this fate sooner than you should've.
Sukuna sighs, the weight of the conversation shifting to him. ''Not to bed, no.'', he says.
You're quiet while you think of what to say. You still have a habit of picking words when you're with Sukuna, but the times when he would punish you for improper formulation are far behind you. "Why not?", you settle. You hope the implication is there, that you wouldn't be so mad even if he did.
Why not? Because he thinks it might break him. Because the image of someone else in your place, under him, feels unnatural and wrong. He thinks the guilt might eat him alive. For once in centuries, someone else's needs come before Sukuna's. He is gone, so far gone. You've raised his standards, and he's not sure anyone he takes now will be able to live up to them. Besides, training a new pet to fit your mold would take years, and even then... He couldn't train someone to love him. Not like you do.
''I wouldn't want you to hold back because of me.'', you say, and he realizes he's been quiet for too long. Years ago, if you dared to imply that Sukuna would do such a thing as hold back because of you, that he cared, you would've been minced meat ready for dinner. Now, he looks down at you tenderly when you say it. Well, a tender look from Sukuna is a docile one. You've gotten used to the way that Sukuna communicates love. Subtly, innocuously.
''Worry about getting well, pet.'', he shuts down the conversation, and moves away from you, sitting back on the bed. ''Any wishes? Food? Activities?'', he asks, and feels your forehead with the back of his hand.
Food? No, but... ''I'd like you to stay, please.'', you say, and take his hand with the two of yours, feeling it up with your thumbs.
Sukuna resists the urge to roll his eyes, knowing the thought of annoying him would upset you greatly. ''That's a given. Anything else?''
You pretend to think, then just babble your favorite food. Sukuna takes your order to Uraume. But when he comes back, you're already asleep again. He waits by your side, but you don't wake, so eventually he leaves. By the evening, the plate of your favorite food remains untouched.
-
You can't leave the bed on your own anymore. Sukuna carries you outside when you're feeling good enough. You barely have the strength to latch onto him securely. Still, it's hard to slip out of the grasp of his four arms. He says you've gotten pale. You lay in his lap and bask in the sun, while he tells you about his day or reads a book out loud for you to enjoy. You wish you could talk to him more, but your voice leaves you as days of endless coughing wreck your throat. No herbs and teas ease your condition anymore. You wait for your final day.
And Sukuna doesn't know when he's given up on the idea that you might get better. But he starts spending whole days with you, leaving your side only to sleep in his bed. He tends to almost all your needs personally. You think that if you asked him to get on his knees for you, he would. He is not familiar with this ache that brews in his chest when he looks to his side and doesn't see you there. It feels violating. To be as powerful as he is, and yet completely helpless in the face of the sickness that drains you in front of his very eyes.
He plays with your thinning hair one morning, and you look at him from his lap, as adoringly as always. ''Isn't it funny?.'', you say, and he snaps out of his thoughts to look at you. ''I always imagined dying by your hand.'', you kiss his hand again, planting your dry, blue lips against his knuckles. ''Who would have thought?''.
You, you little human. You made him feel like a fool, like a coward. You made him feel powerless. Who could ever get away unscathed with making Sukuna feel like this? The thought of killing you now, even out of mercy, fills him with horror. He thinks he couldn't live carrying the burden of your death on his back. It's already hard for him as is.
When he's not with you, he withers away in his room, waiting. And when the servants finally come, and tell him you're at your last strengths, he feels as tense as he feels relieved. The servants shake in fear of his reaction, and he simply dismisses them. In a thousand years of his existence, he doesn't remember having to prepare to enter a room. His hand trembles as he brings it up to push the door open. He dreads what awaits him inside.
He expected blood, hysteria, chaos, yet there's none of it when he walks in. Just the pained noises of your breathing. A servant, your favorite, sits by your side and wipes sweat off your forehead. She talks to you in a comforting tone and pats your head gently. When he walks in the room, she lowers her head and moves to leave. It's only a second, but he sees the sad look on your face. ''Stay.'', he orders, and the servant bows and thanks him.
You move your attention to him, raising your hand to greet him weakly. He picks it up and bends down to kiss it. There's tears in your eyes as he settles into a seat next to you, and you open your mouth in an attempt to say something.
''Easy now.'', he shushes you, and helps you into his lap. You lean back, looking at him through a blur. His features appear even more doubled through the tears, and you still find his beauty mesmerizing. Your master. Your own little god and protector. Although he regrets it, you've never claimed the title of his spouse. Yet, he still stuck by your side, until parted by death. In sickness and in health.
He wipes your tears, and the mouth he conjures onto his hand kisses your forehead. One set of his hands caresses your face, the other massages the tension out of your bony shoulders. Sukuna knows how important it is for you to pass in peace. He doesn't want to curse you, or have despair turn you into a curse. "Relax now.", his voice is so soothing, as if lulling you to sleep. "It won't be long". You weep. What did an ordinary human like you do to deserve this honor? To be comforted on their death bed by a god. To be guided to death by him.
"Master.", you sob. "I'm so scared..."
Delicate touch against your skin. Sharp nails grazing your cheek ever so slightly, just barely enough to make their presence known. "Have no fear.", Sukuna looms over you like a snowdrop. "Where you go now, pain won't follow.". You speak to him a little longer. Tell him all the things you always wanted to tell him, but were scared of the consequences. Dangerous words, ones that were rarely associated with Sukuna. Love. And Sukuna is attentive, so human. Your blinking slows and you find comfort in his voice, as he returns every loving word back to you. Your pained breathing follows, and your eyelids are so heavy. But the sight of him is so hypnotizing, you wish you never had to look away. "You are so brave, my little dove. Go now, be free.". You were too good for this wretched palace anyways. The sight of him is etched in your memory as you close your eyes. "It was a pleasure to have you by my side.", you listen, feeling control over your body slip through your fingers. When you can't move, or feel his touch, you still hear his calm voice. "When you're ready, come back to me. I'll be waiting for your return.". Then everything is quiet, for you and for him. The servants cries are muffled by the sheets, where she has her head pressed by your side.
The hallways, silent except for the busy tapping of feet. Outside, the wind blows petals off of blooming flowers, leaving them bare and stranded. Autumn is here to carry you away.
Servants hold their breath when Sukuna walks by. One wrong look at him and the walls would be painted red. Just like before. Before you. And it's not long before Sukuna looks like a monster again - red eyes and a permanent frown etched on his face. Villagers bring bouquets, and lay them to the right of his throne, where you used to sit. He stares them all down, and only for a moment thinks that maybe, humans are not the scum he thought they were. But then he remembers, they only mourn you because you held him back from his destructive tendencies. Scum.
And he kills again. The first is a villager from afar, where news of your passing hasn't reached. Ripped to shreds for mentioning you. The women who screamed, their blood soaks the carpets and seeps through the wooden floor, dripping down to the cellars. He feels like himself again, unhinged, unbeatable.
Until the day is over, and he goes back to his empty room. His cold, empty bed, and the old habit of reaching for you in his sleep, only to grab nothing instead. And the crocheted figures of the two of you on his nightstand, watching him as he struggles to sleep alone. He can't bear it. So he leaves, and doesn't come back for days, weeks, months.
Smoke clouds the skies on the horizon once again, after years and years of peace and clarity. As far as the eye stretches, the world will know of Sukuna's wrath. But as thrilling as it feels to conquer again, when the village is burned and ash covers the grass on the ground, the thought of you still lingers. Your devastated eyes the first time he's killed before you. The first time he's felt guilty about his monstrous nature. When he comes back, no one's warm embrace awaits him. No one's there to brighten up his day. No amount of blood shed and villages burned replace the emptiness you left behind in his heart.
The grief settles, and sits heavy in Sukuna's chest, as he assumes position in his lonely throne again, and gazes at the row of people waiting to beg, talk, offer... bore him. Another eternity of boredom. An eternity of picking through thousands of humans, in vain hopes of finding you again. In vain hopes of recognizing you, even if it's lifetimes from now, when the last memory of your face has already faded from his mind. When generations change, and the thought of a monster like Sukuna being capable of tenderness vanishes. When the fire in his chest, ignited by love, is already a memory so distant, that recalling it feels surreal.
Maybe he will forget you by then. Maybe times will harden him again, and the idea of a pet becoming his lover will make him laugh. But for now, the thought of finding you in a crowd, taking you in his arms and never letting go, is his comfort and safe place. For now, he will wait for you. As long as it takes, like a stone, unyielding against the passing of time.
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we can dip if youâre ready ; satoru gojo
synopsis; your dreams of a peaceful summer are rudely shattered by the presence of your best friendâs older brother; the same brother who rejected you five years ago. the same brother youâre still hopelessly, uselessly in love with.
word count; 7.4k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, best friendâs brother!gojo (heâs the hottest man in the stratosphere), mild age gap (four years!), unrequited love, but with a hopeful ending kind of, bittersweet fluff, mostly summer shenanigans and pining, riko is satoruâs younger sister and i would give her the stars, sugu makes a guest appearance, (theyâre both just there to bully gojo), heâs fairly mature in this i think, reader is very stubborn and very down bad, [name] is used exactly once
a/n; personally i would let him use me as workout gear
(tagging @teddybeartoji @dollsuguru @hayakawalove @stellamancer @vagabond-umlaut !! tysm for the help and encouragement ily đ„șđ„ș)
one mellow summer morning, over a breakfast of pancake and toast, the puppy-love youâve nurtured for the past three years finally reaches its conclusion.
youâre seventeen years old. in three months youâll be eighteen, standing on your own two feet, headed in a new direction â the whole world within your reach. but right now youâre still only seventeen, and lovesick, and sleeping on a mattress in your best friendâs room. listening to the sound of the nearby sea.Â
youâre seventeen, and dreaming about things you canât have. youâre seventeen, and wearing your heart on your sleeve.Â
youâre seventeen, and hopelessly, uselessly in love with a certain satoru gojo.
itâs early. your veins are sleepy and your heart is heavy, and you wake up at the crack of dawn just to catch a glimpse of him before he leaves for work. heâs leaning against the kitchen island when you trot down the stairs, and the smell of syrupy pancakes hangs heavy in the air; his bare chest is exposed, his pajama pants cling to the curve of his hips, and he rejects you with an easygoing kindness you wish he wouldnât grant you.Â
suddenly, without mercy. a finality to his voice.
âyouâre more like a younger sibling to me. you understand, right?â
he ruffles your hair, and youâre still sleepy, and you wish you could grasp the strings of your heartbeat to stop it from fluttering like this. wish you could pull yourself out of whatever trance he put you in, three years ago, when you stumbled over the threshold to your best friendâs house and crashed headfirst into his chest.
âyouâre a good kid,â he says, and his smile teeters on the edge of something apologetic. mostly, itâs pitying. âthere are lots of people out there for you.â
he ruffles your hair, as affectionate as ever, the same as itâs always been. not a trace of any romantic intent. the weight of his palm on your head is usually a comfort, but like this?
itâs a specific kind of torture.Â
there are lots of people out there for you.
(i know, you want to tell him, but your voice is raspy and your throat feels sort of dry. i know.
but i want you.)
âdonât get hung up on a schoolgirl crush, hm?â
when you finally raise your head, satoru is looking right at you. kindly, patiently, like a benevolent god. his blue eyes flecked with dots of white, like fluffy clouds on a summer sky. tilting his head to the right, as if searching for confirmation, waiting for your response. you muster up the will to nod; smiling in a way that must seem pitiful.
but he just pinches your cheek, throws his backpack over his broad shoulders, and asks you to let his sister know heâll be home later than usual today.
then he leaves. he leaves you alone with two plates of sugary pancakes on the kitchen table, one for you and one for riko. he put whipped cream on top, and chocolate chips in the batter. it smells good. it smells like an apology.
and thatâs how it ends.Â
thereâs no great climax, no real resolution. you bite down on your lip, and spend about an hour pitifully sniffling into a fluffy pillow, even though none of it comes as a surprise. it still hurts, though. your best friend comforts you, tells you that at least you have some kind of closure now â an absolute rejection to make your feelings go away. about time, she thinks, though sheâs far too kind to say it outloud.
except they donât.
the moral of the story is; satoru gojo doesnât love you back. heâs known you since you were fourteen, since he was eighteen, and he could never see you as anything more than a little kid. youâre his sisterâs best friend, and he loves you, but not in the way you love him. itâs not surprising, or shocking. itâs exactly how it should be.
satoru gojo doesnât love you back. he never will.
(you really, really wish your stupid heartbeat cared.)
one mellow summer evening, five years later â you step onto a bustling train platform, dragging your luggage behind you, and breathe in the scent of a familiar seaside.
above you, seagulls chatter and cry. you look around, and everything feels familiar, despite the time thatâs passed since the last summer you visited. the same flowers; peach blossoms and hydrangeas and tulips in all kinds of shades. the same street vendors and aroma of freshly grilled fish. the same cute and quaint port town, quiet during winter and autumn, pleasantly noisy during the warmer seasons. right now, on the cusp of june, there are enough tourists around to make finding the right face in the crowd a difficult task.
luckily, sheâs quick to find you.Â
with her long, dark locks of hair, neatly braided; her yellow sundress and matching headband, sunflowers embroidered into the fabric. barreling towards you with a speed that would scare you a little if you werenât so used to it, so used to her.
riko. your one and only best friend.
sheâs nestled into your embrace before you can get any greetings out, and squeezing you so tightly that you have no choice but to let her beat you to it. sheâs warm, like a bundle of sunshine. the same as always.
with a low whine of your name, she nuzzles into your chest. âi missed youuuuâŠâ
a chuckle bubbles up in your throat. and even though it hasnât been very long at all, even though you talk on the phone almost every day and saw each other in person just about a month ago, you indulge her.
âi missed you too, riko.â
another whine, and then sheâs pulling back. squishing your cheeks together and pouting petulantly. âyou better have! donât ever make me spend summer all alone again, okay?â
you match her expression, eager to protest. âyouâre still mad about that? itâs not my fault i got sick.â
âtoo sick to see your best friend? too sick to continue our most important tradition?â she shakes her head, letting go of you. struggling not to smile. âawful. just awful!â
âdrama queen.â her lips break out into a grin, and yours follow. âiâm here now, arenât i?â
âyou are,â she agrees, quick to link her arm with yours. you follow her steps, leading you towards that familiar house. you can see it from here, a roof burdened with morning glories, those expensive white walls. âno, but seriously. iâm really happy to see you.â her voice drips with joy, giddy and sweet. âi donât think iâd survive two months alone with that old man.âÂ
ah. right.
your lips curl up into a smile, albeit a little uncertain. giddy, maybe. nervous? you arenât sure. something swirls around in your stomach, little butterflies. tickling the ridges of your ribs, all those fluttering heartstrings. itâs been a while since you felt like this. all your summers are spent here, and all of rikoâs, but heâs usually too busy.
the girl on your right chatters on and on, clinging to you, gradually melting away your skittish nerves. she tells you about her morning, what she ate for breakfast, the new show sheâs been binging â itâs just as familiar as the house that soon comes fully into view. big and expensive, but still cozy, overgrown with flora. you donât think either of the siblings really bother to take care of it, but itâs a pretty kind of neglect. a cute veranda, a beautiful garden. the apple tree you used to climb. the buzz of an old radio spills out from an opened window, translucent curtains swaying with the breeze. when you strain your eyes you think you hear humming.
riko grins, dragging you with her through the opened gate. the yellow paint on the fence is starting to peel, and someone from inside has started pushing the door open, and the butterflies in your stomach can do nothing but sputter and squirm.
itâs summer, and you're back. back in that cute, quaint port town.
(and so is he.)
âwhy, hello there! if it isnât my cute little [name].â
time stills, for just a single moment.
he looks the same as you remember. a little taller, you think, but he was always tall enough to tower over you; broad shoulders and long legs, sharp blue eyes gazing down at you. heâs wearing black shades, but you can still feel the weight of his pupils, crumble under the knowledge that his attention is entirely on you. wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tight black shirt, showing off every dip and ridge of his chest.
a pleasantly cool breeze ruffles his white hair, short and trimmed, healthy locks to match his bright and sunny grin.
he looks happy to see you.
âdonât be weird,â comes rikoâs voice, breaking you out of your little spell. all while sheâs ushering you both towards the door, beyond the threshold, into the hallway. satoru clicks his tongue.
âso hostile today. shouldn't you be in a good mood?â
then heâs turning towards you, again, tilting his head just enough for his eyes to peek out. theyâre crinkled at the edges, and his smile is fond. âhow was your trip?â
more butterflies. his voice flows from his glossy lips, smooth and melted, pleasantly deep. you can only hang on to rikoâs arm, mustering a small smile of your own.
âgood,â you chirp. a little stiff, but polite, like youâre greeting an old friend; itâs been so long since you last spoke to him. âiâm tired, though.â
your reply is met with a chuckle, a raspy tremor of his vocal cords. it sends a shiver down your spine. the weight on your arm disappears, as riko stumbles forward and kicks her sandals off. muttering something about gum getting stuck on the sole. youâre left standing right across from satoru, suddenly very aware of how much space he takes up all on his own. leaning against the wall, making himself comfortable. and chuckling, with that stupidly sexy voice. âi bet. take a nap if you need to, yeah?â
a moment of silence. riko curses in the background, and you shift from foot to foot. unable to properly look into his eyes.
for a second, his smile drops â eyes obscured by the black glass of his frames, betraying no emotion. it only lasts a second.
then heâs moving forward, one large stride towards you, leaning down to wrap his big arms around your waist. bringing you into a hug, not as tight as you remember them being. you wonder if heâs holding back.
(his touch burns your skin, all the same.)
one of his palms finds solace on the top of your head, ruffling your hair. you can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks, terribly sincere.
âi missed you, kiddo.â
a quiet squeak tumbles from your lips, and you pray to every god you can think of that he doesnât hear it. his chest is pressed right against you, firm, radiating body heat. his limbs wrap you up in it, a cocoon of warmth that makes it hard to breathe. you can smell his cologne from where your cheek meets his collarbone; sandalwood invading your senses.
âi m-missed you too,â is all you can croak out, voice breaking pitifully. at this rate you might actually faint.
just out of view, riko narrows her eyes. before you can plead for help, sheâs tugging you away from the embrace, pushing her brother away, and you inhale as much of the fresh summer air as you can.Â
âalright, thatâs enough,â she huffs, pulling you closer. âcâmon! we should unpack your stuff right away!â
âwant me to carry it?â satoru asks, already eyeing your luggage like a predator about to lunge at his prey. even if you say no, you know heâs not going to listen.Â
so you let him. and within the next few minutes, youâre seated on rikoâs bed, suitcase on the floor, a glass of lemonade in your hand. blinking sluggishly.Â
âare you sure youâll be alright?â
you raise your head. your best friend is looking at you with a questioning glance, head tilted and brows furrowed. now youâre all alone, and itâs quiet, peaceful. her brother went out to buy snacks for you. all you can hear is the low buzz of the radio downstairs, and faraway waves.Â
âhuh?â
âi mean, with, yâknowâŠâ she moves her hands haphazardly, making some kind of gesture you donât understand. âwith my brother. and your⊠condition.â
you blink.
â⊠did you just refer to my crush as a condition?â
âwell, it might as well be!â she groans, muffled, faceplanting onto the mattress. âdonât think i didnât see you checking out his biceps just now. youâre so obvious.âÂ
heat rushes to your cheeks. you try to shoo it away with a furrow of your brows and a loud exhale, but it lingers underneath your skin. âlook â i ââ you scramble for words, brain tied up in fatigued knots. âdid you see that shirt? is he buying them a size too small, or what?â
âoh, come on! thatâs all it takes?â
another pair of exhales. you cross your legs, and she rolls onto her back. the silence is comfortable, and you gnaw at your bottom lip until she speaks up again.
âyou could really, really do better, you know?â
her voice is quiet. soft, sincere, delicate as a sheet of glass. you know sheâs just looking out for you, that she doesnât want you pining for a guy whoâll never return those feelings â sheâs kind like that, always has been. butâŠ
â⊠i just like him.â
you take a tentative sip of your lemonade. sour and sweet. the cubes of ice clink against the glass, fresh condensation cooling down the tips of your fingers. her gaze lingers on your skin. itâs heavy, just like his.
you meet it with a sheepish smile, a little self-deprecating, but not embarrassed. she already knows all about your predicament.Â
(you just like him. thatâs all there is to it.)
and she pulls herself into a sitting position.
âi know, i know,â she finally sighs, slumping against you, cheek smushed over your shoulder. âjust donât give him more attention than me, âkay?â
you let out giggle. âwell, duh.â
she gives you a sunny grin.
âokay, good.âÂ
you put the glass down on the windowsill beside you. just so you can stretch your arms out, falling backwards; a mountain of pillows cushioning your fall. a yawn spills past your lips, and riko sits up.
âwanna take a nap?â she tilts her head, dark locks framing her pretty blue eyes, deep as the sea. âthatâs probably good. weâre going straight to the beach tomorrow, you know!â
âmmâŠâ your eyes flutter shut, and you focus on that faraway sound. waves crashing against sand, the whistling of seagulls, the salty scent of the ocean. âthat sounds nice.â
despite your exhaustion, you end up tossing and turning that night. not because of your best friendâs snores, or the feeling of a mattress you havenât slept on in two years â but from the quiet sounds downstairs. glasses clinking, a chuckle here and there. the tv being turned on. tossing and turning from the knowledge that your childhood heartthrob, current heartthrob, is in the same house as you. a little older, a little less childish, even more charming than you remember him being.
youâre older, too. more mature, you like to think, even if the gain is small.
(maybe thereâs a chance?)
shaking the thoughts from your head, mind still spinning along to the tune of his humming, you squeeze your eyes shut and try to fall asleep.
youâll be okay.
okay, nevermind. youâre completely screwed.
âoh, there you are!â
satoru is already waiting up ahead when you step onto the beach, feeling the sand between your toes, a pleasantly cool breeze giving you respite from the sweltering heat.
the sun beats down on you, fervent sunlight warming the water up ahead, calm waves and a sparkling blue to match the hue of the sky; cobalts and ceruleans, melting together like watercolour on a canvas. people crowd around the food stands, shaved ice and churros and grilled fish, scents mingling together with the joyous chatter all around you. vibrant sensations, enough to excite but not to overwhelm.Â
a picture-perfect summer day.
your heart tingles with something giddy, skipping happily as you follow rikoâs lead; sheâs wearing a cute bikini set, frilly and floral, hair styled into a pair of braided pigtails, kept together by her favorite scrunchies. leading you towards her older brother, waiting patiently, having already grabbed a nice spot for you. a parasol, a blanket, a picnic basket. you see bottles of pink lemonade, wrapped sandwiches, strawberries in a plastic container.
more than anything, you see him. you see him, and realize just how screwed you are.
heâs smiling, when you approach. as always. hair tousled by the ocean breeze, blue eyes gleaming with mirth, exposed by the sunglasses close to slipping down the bridge of his nose. heâs wearing a hawaiian shirt, black in colour, white floral patterns to tie it all together. just unbuttoned enough to show off his collarbone, a sliver of his chest, the short sleeves exposing his biceps; patches of pale skin, shining with the beginnings of sweat.Â
(youâre about to fucking explode.)
as soon as youâre in sight, satoru lights up, aiming the flash of his phone in your direction. his other hand stays tucked into the pocket of his shorts. âaw, look at you two!â he coos, grinning brightly, teasing and sweet. âpose for the camera, okay?â
youâre still too hypnotized to react, but riko scurries ahead, ready to steal it from his grasp.
âno pictures!â
âoh, donât be like that!â he takes a step back, dodging her attack by a hair, still wearing the same grin. âyouâre gonna thank me ten years from now, trust me. itïżœïżœïżœs for the memories!â
a new voice spills into the air, suddenly, and youâre brought back into reality. itâs silky and low, smooth and nice, honeysuckle nectar turned into sound. interrupting the siblings.
âitâs been ten seconds. how are you already bickering?âÂ
you turn towards its source, and spot a familiar face â right next to satoru. were you seriously too mesmerized to notice him? black hair, another hawaiian shirt, slightly lidded eyesâŠÂ
suguru.Â
he meets your surprised stare with a relaxed smile, and takes a step forward; meeting you for a quick hug. he looks the same as he did when you were younger, odd bangs, hair tied up into a bun.
âhi there,â he hums, right by your ear, a light squeeze before he lets go. âitâs been a while.â
you part your lips, smiling through your words. a little stunned. âi didnât know youâd be here too!â
he chuckles, a light shrug of his shoulders. âme neither. satoru called me last night and asked me to drop by. i had time to kill.â
âyou missed me.â
a dubious look. suguru gives a lazy roll of his eyes, avoiding the smug voice to his right. âi saw you last week,â he tuts, an unimpressed expression on his face. âhow could i miss you?â
âdo you need a reason to miss your best friend?â he shakes his head, slowly, side to side. white locks swaying back and forth. âawful. just awful.â
you stifle a smile, completely unsuccessful. the sun feels nice on your skin, and the scent of the sea is nostalgic, and theyâre all the same as ever. itâs like you can feel your nerves melting away, slowly but surely, like grains of sand slipping through the gaps between your fingers.Â
âthe matching shirts are cute,â you point out, wanting to partake in the conversation, only to be met with a pair of furrowed brows.
suguru sighs. âthatâŠâ he mutters, massaging his temple, not before shooting satoru a dirty glance. âwasn't planned.â
said man only grins, unperturbed, tucking his phone back into his pocket. thoroughly amused. âheâs mad that i stole his fit,â he chirps, stretching his arms idly. it makes his shirt ride up, ever so slightly, and you swallow a gulp.
âwell⊠you look good in it.â
at that, satoru stills. gazing at you, silently, before breaking out into another grin. self-satisfied, a smooth curve, sunlight against the white of his teeth. you glance away, suddenly a little shy.
âdoes he?â the other two deadpan, completely in sync. it shoos away the smile on his lips, making way for a displeased frown.
âoh, come on. would it kill you to call me handsome now and then?â
âhandsome?â riko places her hands on her hips, raising an unimpressed brow, a sassy lilt to her voice. âyou look like a single father down on his luck.â
âseconded,â suguru quips, hiding the beginnings of a smirk. picking at a piece of lint on his shirt. âhonestly, iâm surprised youâre wearing any layers at all. not gonna flaunt your abs this time?â
satoru brightens, suddenly. wiggling his brows, a sweet coo on the tip of his tongue. âoh? want me to loosen up a couple buttons?â he purrs, and you hate yourself a little for the instant yes that resounds through your mind. âyou know you can always just ask, suguru.â
his teasing goes ignored, but you donât miss the amusement that flits through the scope of suguruâs eyes, even as he tries to maintain that deadpan expression.
finally, he exhales. âwell, see you later,â he hums, directed to you and riko, checking the time on his wristwatch. âi should probably get going.â
âyouâre not staying?â you ask, lashes fluttering with a confused blink. he smiles.
âi am,â he reassures you. âjust gonna go fishing for a while. i thought iâd give it a try.â
âfishing?â riko exclaims, covering her amused grin with the palm of her hand. stifling laughter, you can tell, a bout of giggles begging to push past her lips. âwhat are you, fifty?â
satoru lets out a snort. to his left, suguru goes eerily silent â ominous, staring into your best friendâs eyes with no visible emotion. enough to make her smile fall. you feel a sense of deja vu.
âwait, iâm just kidding!â she suddenly squeaks, clinging to your arm and hiding behind you. sheâs always had good survival instincts. âdonât put me in a headlock!â
(theyâre so stupid.Â
gosh, you missed them.)
âoh, by the way â do you want some shaved ice?â she turns to you, eyes crinkled at the edges, voice syrupy and sweet. âi can go get us some. what flavour do you want?â
âah, great idea!â satoru matches her tone, tongue flitting out to lick his lips, glossy with chapstick. âi was just craving something sweet.â
âyouâre paying, by the way.â
ââŠâ
âso? any preference?â she tilts her head, waiting patiently for your reply. smiling once she gets it. âalright, got it. you, suguru?â
âiâm good. thanks, though.â
âokie-dokie,â she puts her palm out, facing satoru. âmoney, please.â
he only tuts, digging through his pocket and pulling out a black wallet. you think you spot a photocard, but heâs pulled out a credit card and tucked it back into his pocket before you can get a closer look.Â
âget me watermelon, okay? strawberry is fine too. if push comes to shove, go for anything other than lemon.â he hands her the card with a click of his tongue. âand watch out for creeps. if anyone hits on you, you know where to aim.â
she pockets it with a huff, exasperation on her features. âiâm twenty-three, toru. i can take care of myself.â
âaww, donât be like that,â he coos, hands reaching out to squish her cheeks. she tries to squirm away, to no avail. âyouâll always be my little baby sister, you know. and, as your dependable big bro, i ââ
âugh, whatever.â she shoots him an unimpressed glance, finally escaping his hold. âare you gonna go all men are wolves on us, or something?â
âthey are! just look at suguru.â
âhey.â
you hide a growing smile behind your hand, watching them bicker and banter, feeling that sense of peace again. the summer day feels a little like a hazy daydream, a heavy nostalgia that sticks to your bones like gum on the sole of your shoe.Â
and, once again â you end up alone with a certain someone. suguru walks towards the faraway pier, riko strolls up to the stand selling shaved ice, and satoru lingers behind. you think he looks relaxed, at ease, but you canât really look at him for too long without feeling nervous. without feeling as if youâre both ignoring the elephant in the room.Â
it still feels a little like thereâs an invisible wall between you.
heâs the first to speak up, craning his neck and stretching like a big cat, a tiny groan escaping him. âwell, there they go,â he hums. âwhat do you feel like doing first?â
âummmâŠâ you rack your brain for ideas, coming up empty. a little fried by his presence. you could go into the water, and escape the heat â sunbathing with him doesnât sound so bad, thoughâŠ
lost deep in thought, you barely notice him inching closer. still weighing your options, water or land, a relaxing nap or a splash war. you donât notice until you feel his arm sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer, just by a hair. stealing all the oxygen from your lungs.
(you think your brain shuts down a little.)
his touch burns, as always. bare skin on bare skin. electric, a trail of sparks rushing through your veins. heâs warm, and solid, effortlessly composed â guiding you right where he wants you, which is by his chest, where you can practically hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat â
and then heâs pulling away.
you raise your head to meet his gaze, completely flushed, unsure if you were hallucinating or not. heâs looking somewhere behind you, with an oddly cold gaze. you follow his stare, craning your neck, catching a glimpse of a man turning his back on you both before walking away.
⊠was he staring at you, or what?
when you search for satoruâs eyes again, theyâre already on you. heâs smiling, a little sheepish, scratching at the back of his neck.
âsorry,â he chuckles. âi got paranoid.â
oh.
your skin still feels like itâs on fire. a lingering heat, blossoming where his skin touched yours, rendering you speechless.
finally, you gain control over your vocal chords, dry and charred. just enough to croak out a response. âi â itâs fine.â
your eyes stay glued to the sand beneath you, staring at a crushed seashell, unable to look him in the eye. feeling the back of your neck grow hotter. you miss the dirty glance riko sends his way, having just returned with the shaved ice, and the way satoru mouths out a silent what?
itâs easier after that. she grounds you, a little, leading you out into the sea. the water is pleasantly mild, licking at your ankles, coaxing you further, until itâs reaching up to your waist. it cools you down considerably, and before you know it youâre splashing her with all youâve got, giggles filling the salty air â seagull cries above you and wet sand beneath your feet, a glimmer or two of tiny fish, loud laughter. sensations all around you. satoru watches you with a smile, munching on a sandwich, not joining you both until riko beckons him over.
the day stretches on, melting away into evening. people leave the beach behind them, suguru heads back to the house with a bucket of fish and a smug smile, riko dries herself off with a towel and rushes to a nearby convenience store when she notices that itâs about to close. murmuring something about dinner, shooting you an anxious glance, a silent will you be alright on your own? with him?Â
you wave her off with a smile. hoping itâll come off as convincing.
so, one way or another, you end up under a parasol with a certain satoru gojo; putting empty bottles of lemonade back into the picnic basket, rolling up the blanket, stuck with cleaning duty. satoru carries it all, unwilling to let you help, the basket hanging off his arm. you walk away from the beach, stepping onto solid asphalt again, beginning your trekk up towards the main street â not too long of a walk, but youâre tired, even though satoru doesnât seem tuckered out in the slightest. walking a step or two ahead of you.
the sun is beginning to set, melting like a sundae on the boundary of the horizon, rays of golden sunshine dripping down your wrist. satoru looks good in it, the pink and orange; peaceful, somehow. when the breeze licks a stripe across his cheek, he closes his eyes and exhales. thereâs a smile on those lips, a smile of contentment.
he turns towards you and waits until you catch up.
âtired?â he coos, tilting his head, absently tucking his shades into the breast pocket of his shirt. blinking slowly, eyes shimmering in the summery hue of evening.Â
âkinda,â you smile, trying to muster a pep in your step. another hum buzzes in his throat, and then heâs facing forward again.
âcâmon. letâs get you something from the vending machine, okay? âs just up ahead.â he pats your head, once, twice. âthatâll give you some energy.â
you can only nod, following his lead. hydrangeas bloom all around you, a thick syrupy scent, paired with apple blossoms from the backyards you pass. then you spot the vending machine. satoru takes out his wallet, finding his card â itâs not the same one as before. riko still has it.
and this time, youâre close enough to see it. in his wallet is a photocard, clearly visible; of a baby, sleeping soundly, with short tufts of hair. a dark colour unlike his own.
(your heart melts, a little.)
âcola or sprite?â
you raise your head, looking through the barrier of glass in front of you. then youâre stepping forward, fingertip pressing against it, pointing towards a green can of sprite. not looking at him, as you make your choice. âthis one.â
â suddenly, you feel his skin on yours.
youâre sleepy, and pliant, jaw caught between his fingers. he lifts it up, turns it towards him, just so that youâll meet his gaze. two seas of blue, flecks of pure white, summer skies and summer clouds.
âthere,â he exhales, pleased. giving you a reassuring smile before pulling away. âyouâve barely looked me in the eye today. âs gonna break my heart, yâknow.â
a pause. you gulp, on instinct, shying away from his unbridled attention â eyes moving from those summer skies down to the curve of his glossy lips, and then back up again. a mistake, because when you glance down once more, unable to help yourself, you see it.
that apologetic smile.
(you really are obvious, arenât you?
how embarrassing.)
silence splits the scene in half, only the faraway sounds of seagulls as background noise. they sound a little like theyâre laughing, mocking you.
satoru presses a button on the vending machine, followed by a quiet beep. he doesnât look at you when he broaches the subject, and you wonder if itâs out of respect or discomfort.
âstill not over that schoolgirl crush, huh?â
âŠ
something twists inside your gut. a little ugly, a little sentimental. now that heâs made the first move, itâs easier to move the pieces.
âitâs not a crush,â you murmur, kicking at a pebble on the ground. surprised by how clear your voice comes out. âiâm in love with you.â
a sigh. another beep, and the sound of a sodacan falling against metal flooring. he crouches down.
â⊠you could really, really do better.â
you watch as he fumbles with the pick-up box, eyes trained on the back of his neck, the buzzed hair of his undercut. letting out a quiet breath. âriko said the same thing.â
a snort pushes past his lips, ripe with fondness. he pulls himself up from the ground, shifting his weight from one foot to another, reaching for his wallet again. âoh, iâm sure.â he tucks the card back, slipping it into his pocket. a stray cat strolls by you, unburdened, waving its tail in the air. âreally, though. you should listen to her.â
something cold meets your cheek. metal, condensation, a pleasant shiver down your spine. he presses the aluminium can against you, and you receive it with a murmur of thanks.
âiâm too old for you, for one.â he continues, and suddenly you feel a little like youâre being lectured. you break open the lid of the sprite can.
âyouâre four years older.â a fizzy sound crackles like static in your ears, carbonation bubbling up, sticking to your fingertips. âand weâre both adults.â
he huffs out a breath, only mildly amused. âiâm pushing thirty, yâknow?â
you take a sip, lips against cold aluminum, melting sunrays lapping at your skin. it tastes sweet.Â
âi know.â a pause, your bottom lip trapped between two sharp teeth. gnawing at the flesh. âi canât control how i feel, though.â
âŠ
âyeah,â he sighs, leaning back against the glass. crossing one leg over the other, fiddling with something in his pocket. âi know.â
a moment passes. then he parts his lips, again.
âhey, how about you join me on a mixer someday?â he searches for your gaze, smiling, another one of those charming tilts of his head. âi know some cute guys. and girls, if thatâs your thing.â
your answer is instantaneous.
âiâll pass.â
âŠ
another exhale, breathed out into the summer air. it drips with exasperation, ripe with fatigue, but thereâs still something fond there. unmistakable.
âfine, fine. just⊠think about it. okay?â his palm finds its way to your head, ruffling your hair gently. that comforting weight. âcâmon, letâs go back. ririâs making dinner tonight.â
and then heâs taking a step forward. you watch his back for only a moment, still deep in thought. a fizzy, syrupy sweetness sticking to your teeth, a sense of nostalgia invading all your senses. and, as always, that silent adoration.
deep down, you know itâs true. thereâs no changing this, whatever this is. in the same way riko will always be his baby sister, youâll always just be the brat that sniffled into his chest after your first fight with her.Â
heâll never quite see you the way youâd like him to.
(but, then again, isnât that a part of it? that subtle, subtle kindness of his. the sense of maturity that asks for nothing in return.)
satoru is a good guy. thatâs why you canât help but adore him, despite everything. canât help but watch his back as he leaves you behind, wishing you could catch up.
it feels nice, to open yourself up like this. crack the lid of your heart and have him wade through the carbonation. it feels nice to have your feelings be acknowledged, even if they arenât reciprocated. even if youâre completely delusional, and high on summer joy. it feels nice just to watch him shine.
you gulp down the rest of your sprite, toss it into a trash can across the street, and stumble after him. veins sleepy, heart heavy, overwhelmed by adoration. youâve already cracked the lid open; everything else comes easy. you just want to make a move, any move. want to see how heâll react.
âsatoru,â you call, and he comes to a standstill. when he turns around your arms are outstretched. âcan i have a piggyback ride?â
the man before you blinks. once, then twice, fluttering like angel wings, or pretty clouds.Â
and then his smile grows. you catch a glimpse of his dimples, for just a moment, and then heâs beckoning you closer with a chuckle.
âyeah? now youâre suddenly all brave?â he shakes his head, no real discontentment behind it. âor are you really that exhausted?â
he studies you intently, ripe with fondness, and you think your sluggish blinks must be enough to convince him. because he crouches down, back facing you, and chirps out a hop on. a little teasing, of course, but still nice. his arms underneath your thigh, lifting you up like itâs nothing. making sure youâre comfortable.
heâs strong. very strong. the butterflies in your stomach flutter around again.
and you really are very exhausted. bones buzzing with something sleepy and fatigued, sore after all the running around you did in the water. completely tuckered out, resting your cheek against his back. like this, you can feel his muscles, the solidity of his body. itâs a little bit distracting.
ââ remember?â
a series of blinks. you grasp onto his shoulders, holding back a yawn. âhuh?â
âyou falling asleep on me?â he chuckles, walking forward. one step after the other, the soles of his sandals hitting the asphalt. âi was saying â how i remember doing this back then.â
you tilt your head.
âwhen you fell and twisted your ankle. i think it was nearby, actually. some park?â
â... oh.â when you really concentrate, you think you do recall it; the feeling of his back against your chest, a dull ache in your foot. âyeah, i remember.â
satoru hums, a little buzz of amusement. âafter that, you and riri would ask me for it all the time. carry us, big bro!â his imitation makes you smile, voice high and squeaky. âso childish, i swear. i could barely carry one of you.â
a chuckle tumbles from your lips, and it seems to spur him on; because he continues. nostalgia pouring out his throat.
âdonât tell her, okay? but, see â i started going to the gym after that. lifting weights. training, and stuff,â he huffs out an amused exhale, grinning softly. âsuguru made me carry boulders on the beach. it was kind of our thing.â
âŠ
âwe almost got arrested once.â
you canât help but laugh, hiding in the smooth fabric of his shirt, in between those white printed flowers. shoulders shaking slightly, giddy and amused. âyou did that just âcause you were embarrassed?â
âno. because i wanted to be prepared,â he murmurs softly. âin case the two of you ever happened to fall over at the same time, or something. i wanted to be able to carry you both back.â
satoru continues to walk, facing away from you. always smiling, youâre sure. even if you canât see it.
âyouâre both precious to me,â he says, making sure to keep his hold around your legs steady. âthatâs why i donât want either of you wasting yourselves on some random guy.â
a displeased huff.
â⊠youâre not a random guy, if thatâs what youâre implying.â
âwell, of course not. iâm the guy,â he quips, standing a little straighter, and you can practically see the smug smirk on his lips. âbut iâm not a very good person.â
you blink.
silence fills the open air.
he says it so casually that you almost don't catch it. matter-of-factly, like itâs just another obvious realization, something so deeply ingrained that it isnât even worthy of a tonal shift. satoru, who makes pancakes for the people he loves, who carries your bags and buys you soda and keeps a picture of his baby sister in his wallet.
that satoru isnât a good person?
(how could he ever, ever think that?)
âyou are.â
a low hum buzzes in his throat, absentminded. youâre not sure he hears you. if he does, he simply doesnât care enough to respond. the scene flickers by, the moment comes and goes â you want to protest again, but something about this silence makes you hesitate.
the only thing you can do is â
âsatoru.â
another little hum. acknowledging, this time.Â
âdo you⊠i mean,â you choke down a bundle of words, replacing them with new ones. gnawing at the flesh of your bottom lip. âis there really no chance⊠youâll ever feel the same? none at all?â
âŠ
a mirthless chuckle. he sounds a little tired, you think. more than a little exasperated. but the amusement is still there, laced into his voice, and you drink it in the same way youâve always done. a little root, soaking in the light of the sun.
âafter all that,â he mutters, âyouâre still asking?â
a momentâs pause. you listen intently, as if you could hear the gears of his mind shift if you focus enough. as if just being stubborn enough could coax him into opening up the way you have.Â
finally, he parts his lips.
âwell,â comes a sigh, a click of his tongue. he breathes in the summer breeze. âmaybe in a couple decades or so.â
you stare. those white tufts of hair sway with every step he takes, and his voice has a finality to it that isnât lost on you.Â
â⊠okay.â
a pause. then heâs barking out a short laugh, shoulders shaking. you tighten your grip around them. âokay?â he repeats, pinching the skin of your thigh. âcanât you read between the lines, you little troublemaker?â
a huff. you kick your legs, a little, just stretching them contentedly. wet hair sticking to his skin, your cheek still smushed against him, enveloped in his neverending warmth. âi donât mind,â you whisper, choking down a yawn. and you mean it. âiâve already waited eight years. a couple decades more isnât too bad.â
silence, again. you wonder what heâs thinking. you wonder if youâll ever come close to cracking open the lid of his heart. he parts his lips, oxygen spilling out.
(you think itâs a start.)
âhas anyone ever told you that youâre awfully stubborn?â
youâre quick to nod, forehead nuzzling into his undercut. wearing a satisfied smile. âriko tells me all the time.â
âdoes she?â thereâs silent laughter hiding between his teeth, eager to spill out. âthatâs good. listen to her, alright? you might learn a thing or two.â
heâs teasing you. the sun is setting, and the air smells like saltwater, and satoruâs back is warm. his voice is set to a melodic lilt, and you feel strangely tempted to close your eyes.Â
and you adore him again.Â
right â loving him was never a choice, and waiting wasnât an issue. getting over him is the tall hurdle, the root of the problem, a root you intend you trip over as many times as it takes for this something to bloom.
because heâs beautiful, and comfortable, and kind. because itâs his back you always end up clinging to. because he knows how you like your pancakes, how you take your coffee, what you look like when you cry. because you like this feeling, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach. even if theyâre completely meaningless in the long run.
satoru is right, and so is riko. youâre stubborn, terribly so â if only you could see that as a bad thing.
if only you were physically capable of giving this something up.
unlike the siblings and their overgrown backyard, you just canât seem to look away from an ugly bud yet to bloom. just in case it ends up blossoming, this summer, or the next. just in case it turns into something worth plucking from the ground. itâs fine if it withers away, too. at least itâll give way to better soil.
you just like him. you just want to see where it leads you. thatâs all.
âbut promise youâll go with me to that mixer, okay?â his voice calls, breaking you out of your thoughts. unrelenting. âiâll find you someone whoâll get your mind off lil olâ me.â
ah. thatâs right.Â
(youâre terribly, horribly stubborn â
and satoru is too.)
you grin, soft and giddy, thinking of the years ahead of you. what theyâll be like. whereâs the fun in a certain future?
âfine,â you hum, wrapping your arms around his neck. inhaling that familiar scent of sandalwood. âdo your worst.â
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plEase can you do âi wonât fitâ âi will make it fitâ with miguel đ„șđđ»đđ»
anon you know WHAT IS UPPPP
i tried my best writing this but i hurt my wrist and kinda had to hurry up bc i have to got to a party but i still hope it's good dzekzdfgfd not proofread by the way so MY BAD)
summary : miguel is big, so big, too big
content warnings : SMUT (18+) minors dni, mentions of oral sex (reader receiving), pnv sex, unprotected sexe (stay safe kids), lots of praise, overstimulation (?), no use of Y/N, fem!reader, size kink
word count : 1,1k
He kissed and bit the inner skin of your vibrant thighs as he drew his lips in a trail of pecks up to your temple, kissing it tenderly, caressing your cheek softly as your body recovered from the orgasm he'd just had. That was already two, and he'd been at it for at least 40 minutes, or more, or less... Honestly, you were so disorientated by the pleasure that you didn't know what space-time was any more.
He loved taking his time, devouring you, going knuckles deep into you and relaxing you for him, hearing you moan soft whimpers as he ran his tongue over your throbbing clit, maintaining eye contact. And now he wanted to take it to the next level.
He came to kiss your lips, and you tasted yourself as he placed his cock in front of your cunt, sliding over your still sensitive clit, drawing a moan from you which he swallowed with his ever hungry lips.
"Miguel," you breathed between kisses, drunk on the sensations, "'s too big," you swallowed as his hand gripped your thigh firmly to give him room and his lips nuzzled your neck. "It won't fit," you assured him.
Just taking his dick in hand was complicated for the simple reason that you couldn't get your thumb to touch your other fingers with your hand, so inside you? No, impossible.
And that inflated his ego, a mean little growl raising his face in a sneer as one of his canines revealed itself between his lips.
"I'll make it fit," he reassured, stroking your hair as he came to kiss your cheek, "i'm sure you can take it, cariño."
He drowned you in kisses as you felt his dick tracing up and down your lips, coating himself in your wetness, one of your hands coming to rest on his back and the other on his tense arm.
"Fuck," he breathed, his breath ghosting over your skin, "you're so wet."
You let a gasp escape you as he began to press his tip between your lips, a low growl escaping his mouth and falling in a warm cloud onto your skin. The tip alone was huge, and you breathed in deeply as he continued to press in slowly, his lips coming to kiss your forehead in encouragement.
"I can't go further if you tense like that, querida." he came to kiss your lips, his hand gently sliding down your body, settling on your waist where his thumb made circular movements.
"I can't," you complained, tears welling up in your eyes as you pressed your eyelids strongly together.
"You can do this," he murmured, kissing the corner of your eyelids tenderly, "mi linda dulce."
You inhaled softly, and then tried to relax, closing your eyes and biting your lip as he thrust deeper into you.
"That's it," he encouraged softly, "that's my girl."
His praise made you flutter around him, an appreciative moan rising from his throat as he finally got all the way inside you.
You tilted your head back, breathing shakily as he kissed your neck with tenderness.
"Que bien lo haces," he said, his fingers gently replacing a loose strand of your hair, "taking me so well."
He began to pull away, then gently slid back in, Miguel immediately swallowing your moan. You owed it to him; he had the right to drink in the magnificent sounds he was making you create.
He gently created a slow rhythm, not wanting to rush you while you were still getting used to him.
"Hmm," he hummed against your ear, "you're so tight," he nibbled gently on your lobe.
You were slowly, though not easily, getting used to his width, your moans of ease vibrating softly in your chest as you pressed your teeth hard into the bulging, kiss-swollen skin of your lips.
"Tt-tt," he denied, coming to run his tongue over your lips to loosen the grip your teeth had on it. "I want to hear."
He came to kiss you, your whines pouring into his mouth, he swallowed them all without exception. He moved slightly away from your lips, letting your sighs of ease and whimpers take the air and he reveled in the melody you were offering him.
"Eso es," he approved, straightening as he raised your hips properly, contemplating the mess that you were for him, and he traced a line with his fingers from the valley of your breasts to your navel where he pressed lightly.
You arched your back, your breath quavering a complaint as you tightened around him. He groaned at the sensation, and he saw it, the little bulge he formed in your lower belly, his fingers tracing it down. A flash passed through his eyes as he picked up the pace, the moans escaping from between your lips intensifying. The mere idea that he was the one to make you feel so good made him feral.
"It's..." you stammered, breathless, "it's too much!"
But he continued at his own pace, the hot knot in your lower belly beginning to tighten, your nails leaving crescent moons in the skin of his arm and pink streaks down his back. He was enjoying the sight immensely.
"MĂrame," he whispered, wishing he could see the extent of your desire and pleasure in your eyes.
He leaned down again, his hand coming to rest soothingly on your cheek and caressing it with his thumb as his other hand moved down between your two bodies to make circular movements over your clit, more moans escaping from your lips.
"MĂrame, cariño," he asked as your eyes slowly opened, wet with tears from all the sensations that were sparkling in your body.
"Tan linda."
He kissed you hungrily, drinking in your skin and your lips, then planted a trail of kisses on your cheek, running down your jaw and biting and marking your neck, his rhythm accelerating.
You could feel the cloud in your belly spreading, the knot tightening.
"Miguel...," you moaned, "I'm..." the words were interspersed with cries, "I'm-"
"Shh," he soothed, stroking your hair as he kissed your cheek, "It's okay, go on."
Your breathing quickened, shuddering, until the orgasm burst within you, your back arching as your clit seemed to beat like a second heart, spreading shockwaves through every inch and vein of your body, your walls closing powerfully around Miguel as he bit into your skin with a groan.
Your back rested on the sheet, breathless, as if on a cloud, feeling like you were floating in softness. Miguel kissed your temple affectionately, then your tear-drenched eyelids.
"You did amazing, querida", he said, pressing you carefully against him as he caressed you, whispering sweet nothings to you to soften you up after all that emotion.
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summary: in which jungkook misses you before he even leaves.
idol!jungkook x reader / angst, fluff / word count: 3.7k
content/warnings: they both cry, theyâre so in love and anxious of being apart đ„Č pls somebody give my babies a box of tissue damn it!!! / making out :") might be one of my favs iâve written heh cherry koo ily
> in which masterlist!
note: hi hiii this serves as a prologue kinda to the giving up drabbles <3 and as to not confuse the timeline, this one takes place in sept 2018 and the first giving up drabble june 2019 ^^ hehe reblogs/feedback are appreciated + as always iâd love to chat abt ur thoughts đ„ș
â
âiâll call you when i arrive at the dorm, baby. letâs pack the rest of my things together, hmm?â
you hum softly in agreement, hiding your face on jungkookâs chest so he wonât see you yawn.
youâre so adorable, he thinks to himself with a grin.
matching his outfits with you in preparation for his travels has always been one of the little ways you spend quality time together. yes, you will be physically apart for most of this year and the next⊠but if he just pushes that fact in the back of his mind for an hour or two so he can make you laugh with his purposely horrendous choices, he thinks he may be able to leave with a lighter heart.
one last kiss is granted to your forehead, and you nuzzle your cheeks against his warm hands to cherish every ounce of his touch you can manage to steal.
you peek from the small space of the door to smile at your lover, which he then returns rife with fondness. you wave and bid your silly bye byeâs to each other, and itâs you who ultimately closes the door despite the voice in your head bewailing its protests.
it creates a clicking sound as you push it all the way, and after that, the defeaning silence fills your apartment like a toxic gas that makes it impossible to breathe. with no other soul left to witness it, your walls involuntarily come crumbling down. your eyes become blurry with unshed tears, and they fall one by one, some getting caught by your eyelashes. they hang heavy until they inevitably roll down your cheeks, as if theyâre desperate not to crash and break, as if theyâre horrified of their fate towards doom⊠much like you are.
recognizing the sensation of your weak knees threatening to give way, you lean your forehead on the hardwood to relieve some of the weight burdening your shoulders.
your chores have piled up while you were recklessly spending every second you had left with your boyfriend. you have better things to do than to cry. however, you canât control your face that contorts to express the pain of having your heart mercilessly squeezed in your chest, tighter and tighter as the distance between you and jungkook grows, and it will only continue to do so.
you wind up as a heap on the floor, an intricate collection of love yet to be given and shards of memories calamitous and beautiful, knees hugged to your chest as you weep.
you swore you wouldnât do this. you fucking swore you wouldnât do this to yourself.
since losing your family, youâve been alone, trying to survive in this world like a leaf in the eye of a storm, carried by a raging river that travels to an unknown sea. you then promised that no matter how much you affection youâve grown to have for someone, if there comes a time that they make you feel lonely (skin-on-skin or heart-to-heart), you will be the one to walk away first. even if it hurts, even if it leaves you empty inside. for one, youâve never liked wasting your time. you know what you want and what you needâ someone who will stay within reach. your day-to-day life is far too draining for you to find the energy to beg for love and attention⊠and for the love of god, thereâs already too many people you wish were still by your side.
your friends have witnessed you annihilate hearts and egos, leaving behind a string of jaded lovers.
but jungkook, with his bunny-like smile and endless gestures of kindness⊠has somehow slithered his way into a space in your heart where no one has ever been.
the apartment feels too empty with him not around. heâs not knocking rhythmically at your door from the inside to announce his arrival. heâs not in the kitchen humming songs while chopping vegetables. heâs not in the shower yelling at you because you forgot that turning on the sink makes his water cold. heâs not in the living room watching a movie on your laptop. heâs not snuggled closely with you and snoring execessively by your ear.
itâs going to be like this for a while. itâs always going to be like this, you realize.
youâre so fucking lonely.
youâve only gotten used to him being here, and now you need to re-learn what itâs like to be without him.
youâre forced to gasp for air as you sob uncontrollably, interrupted by occasional hiccups that make your body jolt. you taste the salt in your tears as they seep into the crevice between your lips, can feel them beginning to poison your skin.
you let jungkook come too close. he slept on your bed and he learned that youâre always cold. he enveloped you in the safety of his warm embrace and you couldnât will yourself to leave after the first time. youâve surrendered to him the control over your body, and also your heart, which you may be breaking alongside your rule but⊠walking away would mean forsaking yourself.
for the first time, you are crying not because of the absence of love, but the abundance of it. humans are essentially a collection of dead stars that are brought back to life when they are consumed by the electric ache of love and yearning. you are addicted to the antidote that is the touch of another body that burns the same.
youâre free falling.
if you were to choose the cause of your madness, you would choose this.
because for the first time, you are not cursing a name, but the universe and its twisted ways. in your one-bedroom apartment, you donât feel small; your arrogance is as big as the sun that threatens to swallow the earth whole. the empty space on your bed is now in the shape of the man who loves you.
the back of your head hits the door, and you sigh at the new predicament that presents itself to you: the fluorescent lightbulb at your doorway is flickering as if to signal its impending death.
your bad vision begs you to look away.
itâs too high. itâs too high for you to reach. jungkook isnât here anymore.
you bury your face in your hands, another wave of tears spilling over before you could get a hold of yourself. your cries are unapologetic; you sound like a little child who got their hair pulled at the playground.
you would much rather wait for him than find a solution. you want to bear the weight of him in every possible way there is. you want to have him in mind every time you flip the light switch, because you always seem to forget that itâs dying after a long day at school.
but for now, all you can do is sit on the floor and smell his perfume on your clothes as you wait for his call.
â
jungkook is still frozen on the driverâs seat, struck with a suspicion that he left something behind in your apartment, but he canât figure out what else there is besides his heart in the palm of your hands.
he opens up every single compartment of his backpack, but he soon carelessly discards it at the backseat because he has no idea what it is heâs even looking for.
âwhat is it? what is it? what is it?â he mutters absentmindedly to himself, wide doe eyes still actively darting around the car as he mulls over what could possibly be missing. âam i an idiot? am i just making things up in my head?â
but he is leaving for tour after all, it would be a big headache if he forgets to bring something important.
something important such asâŠ
proceeding with a final inspection, he starts patting around his body, from his chest down to the pockets of his sweatpants.
âahhh-â he makes a noise of enlightenment when he discovers one of them to be completely empty.
it then becomes vivid in his mindâ the memory of him lazily setting down his wallet on your study table before he crawled on your single-sized bed as if itâs his own.
ââŠshit. i need to go back.â
â
he has a smirk plastered on his face as he jogs his way up to your apartment floor. radiating with pure excitement unbeknownst to himself, he even begins to skip a step with every long stride he makes across the staircase.
thanks to his forgetfulness, he found an excuse to be with you for a few minutes more.
the fourth door straight ahead, he still remembers chanting in his head the first time he visited your building on his own.
he stands before it with the intention to surprise you, but ironically, he is the one who ends up freezing in place. your muffled sobs escape through the narrow cracks of the door, and his hand slowly slips away from the handle until it drops back to his side. his vision becomes unfocused, mind going blank, only registering the shortness of his breath and the powerful punch to his gut.
that sweet, heart-fluttering smile that comforted him mustâve killed you inside.
â
âi wonât forget to call after every show.â
âthat does sound nice butâŠâ you scrunch your nose cutely. âi wonât be upset, if thatâs what youâre worried about. go straight to sleep when youâre exhausted. i know you wonât have much time to rest.â
âplease! you can watch me sleep too.â he pouts. âyou know i always make it work. while i eat, while i shower! that wonât change. i need to see you and gain strength⊠or else i seriously think i wonât survive this one.â
and jungkook hopes that heâs not too much of a burden for loving you.
although, you did tell him once in passingâ that anyone can be passionate, but not everyone will bravely go on stage every night to showcase those passions, even if it means testing the very limits of the human body.
âi canât allow that to happen, can i?â you click your tongue, copying the angry frown of your boyfriend, who you find so, so, so cool.
his features soften after you pinch his soft cheek.
âyour hyungs might kill me if i make their little one mope around missing me too much.â
âw-what do you mean?â he becomes flushed with embarrassment. âwhat kind of things do they tell you?!â
ânothing much.â your eyes shine with a glint of faux innocence. âwhen we were trainees, jungkook did this⊠since meeting you, heâs gotten more stubborn⊠can you tell him to wake up earlier if he plans on showering for an hour? you know, just things like that.â
âaish! jimin-hyung!â he releases a deep sigh to express his exasperation, knitted forehead not doing much to diminish the roundness of his eyes. âi bet one of them is jimin-hyung! iâm right, arenât i? you- youâre getting too close with him! i canât allow this- really, i- ah! no! no!â
the burst of laughter that fills the room only confirms his suspicion. you roll over on the bed to cover your face, half of your body collapsing on top of his, and you clutch your aching belly when he begins to aggressively shake you in a joking manner.
âlisten, you canât become best friends! you hear me? donât! my secrets⊠whatâs going to happen to them? who else can i tell them to?!â
immediately recognizing his poor choice of words once they have left his mouth, jungkook purses his lips in regret, and itâs his turn to feel his lungs burn from the lack of oxygen.
âoh, really?â you slowly sit up as you stare at him with raised eyebrows. âand what kind of secrets do you need to keep from me? huh?â
he doesnât waste a second to reply, scrambling as to not leave any space for you to formulate more doubts in your head.
ânothing! nothing, baby!â he flashes a dreamy smile in return to your sharp glare. he gently cups the back of your head to pull you back closer, puckering his lips as he tries to meet you halfway. âcome here- give me a kiss.â
you ignore his advances, moving away from him with a scoff you donât even bother to hide. the annoyance bubbling up inside of you feels irrational, and yet you canât stop it from controlling your body language.
his jaw slacks in disappointment. he despises being denied affection, more importantly, a kiss meant to be shared with you.
âare you mad?â
you turn your back against him, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, but jungkook doesnât waste time in chasing after you.
âbaby!â he whines, seizing your arm and tightly embracing you from the side before you can escape. âi was just joking- i promise- i swear. youâre even the first person i share my secrets with nowadays!â
you sigh in defeat, eyes fluttering shut as you allow him to caressïżŒ your face and pepper your cheek with loving kisses. loud, and slightly wet, which you used to not be fond of when it came to the lovers you had before, but as for jungkook and his dewy lips, you weirdly donât seem to mind.
âplease donât be mad.â he coos lightheartedly before ducking his head to press his lips against yours. âi donât want us to fight before i go.â
âiâm not mad.â your reply is quiet, and it drips with hesitance. âi just donât want to think about you having secrets while youâre away.â
you turn to communicate directly with his eyes. if you feel sick to your stomach imagining him as a person youâd never have the grace to forgive, you donât show it.
âyou understand where iâm coming from, right?â
he meekly nods.
this is another reason why he is eager to spend all his free time with you, albeit through a screen smaller than the palm of his hand, and perhaps buy you trinkets from every city that welcomes him because everything reminds him of you. he wants to give you the reassurance that he doesnât have any plans on doing something that may hurt you. this will be excruciating, he knows, but it is also a chance to prove himself as a boyfriend worthy of your tears and sacrifices. this canât end before it begins. he doesnât think heâd be able to bear that. he just celebrated his first birthday with you. it hasnât been long since you uttered the three words heâs been anxiously waiting to hear.
âi love you. please give me your trust for now⊠i wonât waste it. youâll see, at the end of this, weâll be stronger. i promise i wonât forget my responsibilities as your partner even if weâre physically apart.â
he tenderly strokes your hair, eyes filled with galaxies memorizing every inch of your face. heâs scared, too. heâs scared that heâs overestimating himself. too ambitious, too greedy for wanting both the world and the most beautiful person he has ever seen in it to love him. heâs scared of getting too exhausted. heâs scared that you wonât be there anymore when he opens his eyes.
âi will probably mope around, though, missing you too muchâŠâ he pauses, then he makes up his mind.
him getting more stubborn since he met youâ it might just have some truth to it that heâs too sheepish to say out loud, especially if his members were around to hear it.
âyes, i will seriously be a handful.â he nods to himself. âso iâm already apologizing early.â
âwhat are those responsibilities exactly?â
âto show you that i love you!â he exclaims in a tone that screams obviously. âto make you happy, to keep you safe⊠to stay committed to you- yah, you already know these things!â
but still, itâs nice to hear him say it. this bed of roses is a bed of thorns; he has chosen to sleep on it with you.
you giggle heartily at the sight of his face getting flushed. âyouâve been doing a great job then, baby.â
the praise causes his doe eyes to sparkle with glee. âreally?â
âreally!â his heart skips a beat when you softly cup his face in your hands, wearing that kind smile he canât help but fall in love with over and over again. âdonât worry, i wonât let you miss me too much. i have my share of the responsibilities too.â
â
he swallows the lump in his throat, shakily sitting on the floor with his back against the door. he doesnât know how long he stays there. he only knows that itâs near sunrise because the lights across the hallways have gone out one by one.
with an elbow resting on top of his knee, he fiddles with the laces of his shoe with no rhythm or rhymeâ silently crying with you, clueless as to what he should do. he didnât learn about this in school, nor during dance practices. no one teaches you what to do when you hurt a person you love but thereâs no fault to fix and apologize for.
every now and then, a tenant passes by, and he is overwhelmed with the urge to scream at them to fuck off and mind their own business.
adding to his frustration is his phone, which has been vibrating with calls and text messages. he only spares them a dismissive glance before clicking the off button. yes, he fucking knows itâs already 5am. yes, heâs still with his baby. however, he is forced to send a reply to his manager when asked if they could finish packing his luggages for him to save time. no. no, no, no.
on the other side of the door, the pitter-patter of mechanical rain tickles your ears. your nimble fingers doesnât cease on tapping on the keyboard even as your eyes stray to the contact name above the conversation, just to make sure that itâs your boyfriend youâre texting.
to: my jungkook
babyyy the sun is about to rise
so iâm not sleepy anymore :(
you're not home yet?
wait. if you're still driving just reply later
be a good driver before a good bf for now âșïž
ohoh i donât mind if you don't have time to call anymore. just text me rq before you take off pleaseee so i know you're safe and sound
and after the flight ofc!! đ
i love you! â€ïž
seconds later, a pounding at the door makes your body jolt in shock. you carelessly rush to stand up, the safety measure of looking through the peephole not even crossing your mind before you swing it open.
jungkook stuns you with his presence, chest heaving with every breath as he studies you in a fog of haze. your messy hair perfectly frames your pretty face. your parted lips are raw from the crime of your sharp teeth forcibly putting an end to your crying. your eyes are still damp with tears, and they shine every time the warm light hanging above your head flickers.
if you could only read his mind, you wonât have to worry about him wanting anybody else.
once again, he finds himself helplessly infatuated. why do you have to look utterly bewitching even when you cry? fuck, and your texts⊠how did he get so lucky? you fuel something carnal inside of him that he has difficulty putting into words.
and so, he allows his actions to speak for himself.
âjungk-â his name is interrupted with a high-pitched whimper caught in your throat. your trembling hands desperately grasp the sides of his hoodie as you stumble backwards, struggling to recriprocate the unrestrained fervour of his kisses.
heâs out of control. he has never kissed you like this before. you donât know if he doesnât feel your weak fists punching his chest or he just doesnât care. you feel dizzy⊠dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.
youâre confused why heâs still standing at your doorway. youâre terrified of losing your balance. youâre crushing a pair of sneakers underneath the soles of your feet and it hurts. but his fingers are tightly tangled with your hair, the others playing a saccharine hymn along the keys of your spine, and for the pleasure he gives, you can endure to live with the pain.
the familiar taste of mint on his tongue is far too addictive for you not to indulge. you canât stop craving for more of it, more of him, and you let your lungs burn.
but soon it mixes with the salt in his tears as his emotions crash on the shore like a tsunami. the seal of your lips is broken by a quiet sob, and in shame, he ends the kiss to bury his face in the crook of your neck.
â____, what do i do? i donât want to leave.â
your heart shatters into pieces as he sniffles, voice cracking as he musters up the courage to confess to you in between.
âjungkookâŠâ
the words of sincerity feel heavy on his tongue. heâs never been good at this; always relied on his ability to feel. in spite of that, he wants to bare all of himself to you, and he prays that you believe him when he says- âi canât imagine my life without you anymore.â
âso donât. you donât have to think about things like that.â you sigh as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, subtly swaying your bodies to soothe him. âcome on, love. why are you cryingâŠ? you know where to find me, donât you?â
you feel him nod before he mumbles pensively. âhere⊠or school, or the restobar.â
âthatâs right.â you chuckle. âjust donât lose your key. iâm not going anywhere.â
but he fears itâs his goddamn mind he might just lose. he squeezes his eyes shut, embracing you tighter as he counts the seconds in his head. he will let go after thirty, then perhaps he will stay for another ten.
in another lifetime, jungkook wishes that he could tell you the same.
â
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D
â
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After your answer I feel more confidentđ„°Request about Nanami. He survived Shibuya, but suffered burns to his left side and eye. Nanami began to develop a complex and hide behind a layer of clothing. He thinks his girlfriend deserves better. But she thinks differently and is still ready to give him loveđ„șI saw such a fic once, but your hands will make this idea much better, I know
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out and that absolutely adorable request! Please let me know what you think, I hope you'll like it. Don't hesitate to reach out againđ€
Nanami hiding his scars from his girlfriend after surviving Shibuya
Pairing: Nanami x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,6k
Synopsis: basically the request above lol
Warnings: if you need some comfort this one's for you, so much fluff I'm gonna faint
Tags: @hellkaiserinphoenix @polarbvnny @obeythebutler
It was a ride on razorâs edge. Yes, the Shibuya incident turned your life upside down. The countless injuries, Gojo being sealed, so many deaths.
And the love of your life almost losing his very own life through the hands of curses.
âWhere is he, Megumi?â
â(y/n)âŠâ
Your eyes filled with tears, that unwell feeling in your guts proved itself right all over again. You knew things werenât going right when your boyfriend stopped replying. But thatâŠSeeing Maki and that old man like thatâŠ
That was so much worse that you thought.
âWhere. Is. He.â, you hissed through gritted teeth, the boy in front of you almost drowning in his own sweat.
âHeâs back at Jujutsu High. When I last saw himâŠThings werenât going well for NanamiâŠIâŠI donât know if heâs still aliveâŠâ
You felt like fainting, throwing up, beating everything and everyone, crying in the corner. How? How did this happen? Your husband, a grade 1 sorcerer, so skilled that his sheer presence sends shivers down the spine of his opponentsâŠYour fucking boyfriend.
On the brick of death?
Yes, it was a true blessing that he barely made it. Since that fateful day, you were on his side night in night out, talking him through the silence, holding his hand while Shoko changed his bandages. Until eventually, he was able to return back home. Back to your shared apartment, back into your normal everyday life.
But it was far away from being like it was before Shibuya. No, something inside Kento changed so drastically that you sometimes feel like you donât know him anymore.
âHey sweetheartâ, he greets you softly, arms embracing you in a tight hug.
âGood morningâ, you mumble, stretching out your longing arms to feel him a little closer.
Just before your hands are able to hold onto his biceps, he turns away again and leaves you alone in the bed. You stare at his covered back, sadness washing over you like a wave. Silently he stands up, busying himself with his wardrobe while all you can do is watch him closely in an desperate attempt to stop yourself from crying.
You have no idea when was the last time since you saw your boyfriend in a t-shirt, let alone shirtless. Since his burns arenât covered in bandages anymore and his skin seems to be entirely healed into a scar, he hides his body from your hungry gaze very well. But why? This has to come to an end, right here and now.
You lift yourself off the bed, hugging his much larger frame from behind. God, it feels so good to press your head against his tight muscles, his delicious taste making you feel whole again.
It was hard to bear, the thought of losing him. Even days after he got burned to severely, Shoko wasnât entirely sure if heâll be able to make it. It became obvious that if heâll survive, he will have to live with his left side covered in scare tissue for the rest of his life. And while your love for him and his body grew only stronger, you feel like this doesnât apply to him. Yes, something inside you tells you that his change in behaviour might have something to do with that.
Why does he wear long-sleeved shirts all the time, while does he not allow you to see and feel his naked skin anymore, why does he seem to always turn away the left side of his face from you? It truly breaks your heart, knowing that he seems to have lost his self-confidence after surviving such a traumatic incident.
âDonât turn away from me, love.â
Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, silently begging him to stay this one time, to allow your touch after months of turning you down.
â(y/n)â, he protests, body already on its way to shield itself from your longing hands.
âWhy hiding from me when all I see is you?â, you question, hands intertwining with his.
âIâm not good enough for you.â
Softly, he pushes you away, walking into the living room while you try to process his words. Him, not good enough for you?
âWhy would you even suggest something like that? Kento, please stop.â
Out of instinct you go after him, mind racing in thoughts. What is all of this about?
âYou are such a stunning woman, your whole life is still ahead of you. Why waste your time with a scarred man like me? I have nothing to give you, (y/n). Not even beauty.â
You canât believe your ears, mouth snapping open in pure shock.
âYou have to be jokingâ, you breathe out, head shaking vehemently.
This is wrong in so many ways, almost an insult against humanity. Why would he say something so ridiculous?
âLook at me, (y/n)â, he blurts out.
With a swift motion he takes off his blue shirt, revealing the huge scar that covers the left side of his upper body entirely. His face darts towards you, completely twisted in agony.
âWhy would a woman like you want a man like me? I donât deserve your beauty, (y/n).â
âStop it. Right nowâ, you reply so harshly that his mouth shuts in an instant.
With fast steps you cross the room, coming to a stand in front of his gorgeous body.
âThis is the body of the man I love, of a man that fought hard in order to save countless peopleâs life. This is the body of the man I thought Iâve lost forever, the body of a man who always puts the well-being of others above his own. You, Kento Nanami, are the man I love. Even if you lost all your limbs, if you could no longer speak or see. Damn, even if you didnât remember me, I would always choose you. Because you are the man who stole my heart entirely. These scars tell the story of what a brave man you are, what you survived despite everything spoke against it. I love every inch of your skin, no matter how scarred or wrecked.â
Your fingertips wander over his uninjured skin.
âFrom the part that Iâve touched so oftenâŠâ
Slowly, you caress the scarred tissue on his right side, brushing over his shoulder, collarbone and buff chest while never taking your eyes off him.
ââŠto the part I have yet to discover.â
âLook at me, I am a crippled man. I look like someone out of a horror movie-â
âYou look like a hero to meâ, you interrupt him immediately.
Itâs hard to keep your composure when the man you love more than anything else in this world stands in front of you with his face twisted in agony. God, if he only knew how beautiful he is, how you feel even closer to him since the Shibuya incident. Why isnât he able to see himself through your eyes, why does he have to suffer even after surviving his burns?
âWhy canât you understand that youâre all that I want?â
Your voice cracks, tears now streaming down your face. The sheer thought of losing him alone makes you die from the inside. No other man will ever be able to replace him. Why would you leave Kento anyway? He still looks absolutely irresistible to your hungry gaze, the way his tight muscles flex underneath his shirts making your knees go weak just like always. And that scars just add to your affection towards him.
âPlease, donât hide from me. Let me love you with your scars and everything else. In my eyes, you will always be the man I fell in love with.â
And for the first time since knowing him, you the grown man in front of you break down in tears. His arms wrap around you hungrily, pressing you against his own body as if youâre air and he canât breathe. Yes, you are the light to his darkness, the sun after rain. What would he do without you? Where would he be without you by his side? Through all these hellish weeks you stood with him, making sure heâs feeling well. Will he ever be able to thank you enough for that? Never.
âI love you more than words can sayâ, he breathes against your outer ear.
âGod, how much I love you, (y/n)âŠâ
âPlease believe me when I say that I love you just the way you are, Kento. You will always be enough for me. A few scars wonât change that.â
His eyes lock with yours and there is no doubt that you are telling the truth. Yes, you really do love him the way he is. Even if his skin is scarred through the hands of fire, even if heâll never look like the man youâve met first. In the glimmer of your eyes he will always be Kento Nanami.
âSo youâll stay with me even though I look like this?â
You wrap your arms around him again, your head laying against his scarred chest. Oh, how much you missed the feeling of being skin to skin with him, how much your hungry gaze longed for him all bare.
âIâd say I even love you a little more since Shibuyaâ, you reply.
Gently, you cup his face with your hands. Yes, a few scars here and there wonât change the beauty you see within the man in front of you.
âYou are my everything, (y/n).â
His lips brush against yours, arms caging you against his body.
God, how much you love that man. More than the entire earth.
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detachment (02/03)
did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?
pairing: prince!aemond Ă niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 7.9k
previous part âą next part âą series masterlist
hello beautiful people, finally here is the chapter you have been waiting for so long, im so happy, I hope you like it a lot†thank you very much for readingđ„ș
comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank u, you are all awesomeâŁ
âTWO MOONS AGO.
"I'm so sorry, my sweet girl."
"No, it's all right, mother. Do not worry."
"I know this is not what you wished for butâ
"It is my wish."
You interrupt your mother with a small smile that she instantly knows is neither genuine nor convincing, to which she watches you for a few moments without saying anything, watching you intently.
She takes your hand and places the other on your right cheek to come closer and leave a sweet kiss on your left cheek that you allow to feel that love that only she transmits and comforts you.
She then pulls away from you a little without letting go and watches you with a small smile on her lips and a slight gleam in her beautiful lilac eyes.
"You know you have my full support, my love. And don't even think that I will leave you alone in all this," she assures you, "But I know you and you must not lie to me, Y/N."
You know that at this moment your gaze gives you away, as well as all the true feelings you are conveying but you still want to show your mother that you are willing to do your duty.
And it really is your relief that it is this person you are going to marry when it could have been worse.
"Mother, you must not worry about me."
"But of course I do," she tells you instantly, "You're my daughter and I love you."
"I love you too. But this marriage to Cregan Stark couldn't be better not only for me, but for the whole family," you remind her, "He is a respectful and honorable man. I know there will be much respect between us and eventually affection will be born. And we will have all the support of the North when the time comes for you to become queen."
She smiles softly again with that warmth and affection, gently stroking your cheek with her thumb, looking directly into your eyes with all that sincerity and love.
"But he's not the one you wish to marry, is he?"
So all those pent up feelings, they want to come out at that moment. And even more so because of the way she is talking to you and understands you completely.
"Even with all that your marriage to Cregan Stark offersâŠ. it's not him."
You swallow hard and press your lips together, starting to feel the tears want to come out of your eyes, as well as all that feeling for everything that happened and thinking about everything that could have been.
You remember how a while ago everything was fine, how everything seemed fine, how you thought you knew certain things and knew certain people.
However, he broke your heart.
Worst of all, you never knew why. You really wanted to know what had happened, what had changed his mind and if you had done something wrong, but⊠nothing.
He left you totally in the dark with his reasons. He preferred you to suffer and forget everything as if nothing had happened from one day to the next to accept his sudden betrothal to Floris Baratheon.
And you truly wanted to understand at the time, feeling completely broken and shattered⊠but he never gave you an answer.
"It doesn't matter anymore, mother. He is betrothed and now so am I. I do not doubt that after my wedding with lord Stark, his with lady Baratheon will happen soon after. He made his decision moons ago and now so have I."
"Very well," she nods at you, "You learned quickly, my sweet girl. Just as I had to when I accepted my fate."
You smile.
"You mean my father?"
"Our story was in short times, always with a lot of duty involved and inconveniences. Until we could finally be together after that horrible night," she tells you softly, "But when you truly love a person, you can't help it and you just want to join your blood with them, no matter what."
You nod, lowering your gaze, understanding.
But really understanding.
You know that feeling and you know exactly who you used to feel that way with. You were even close to being able to bond forever. But now⊠you're about to do your duty without that person.
"Then, my sweet girlâŠ" your mother says to you, getting your attention again, "I'll just make sure to arrive at King's Landing a day before the wedding, as you asked. Everything will be ready by the time we get there."
You smile softly in her direction, feeling very relieved at that and nod.
"Thank you, mother."
"Anything for you, my love."
After spending part of your afternoon with your mother, you head to another of the great rooms of the Dragonstone castle, where your brothers are practicing High Valyrian and your younger brothers are being cared for by the maids.
You immediately join in caring for your brothers, listening to Jace and Luke's Valyrian, correcting them on some pronunciations and helping them to formulate words correctly.
Then Rhaena enters the room as well to look after and keep little Joffrey company, letting you know that Baela has flown to Driftmark.
Normally as the night draws in, your mother and father also spend time in this Room, all together as a family, a time when Rhaenyra wishes she could freeze and stay all together like this forever.
And that's exactly what she thinks when she enters the Room and sees all her children, or almost all of them, together attending to different duties, with a little smile and loving look on her face.
Daemon is writing something on the large table, to which she turns to him, stroking her barely noticeable two-moon belly, with a new member to the family coming into the world soon, the prince or princess.
"What are you writing, my love?"
Daemon raises his gaze to her, with the seal of House Targaryen about to embed it in the letter.
"The word to Kings Landing with the news of Y/N's marriage to Lord Stark."
"Ah yes, I forgot to do that."
"And that's why I do it for you, ÄbrazÈłrys."
Rhaenyra leaves a soft and loving kiss on her husband's head to continue on her way to her eldest sons, listening attentively to the High Valyrian, just like Y/N, ready to correct them.
Not long after, considering that the distance between Dragonstone and Kings Landing is not too much, the raven arrives at the Red Keep with the new and unexpected news, with Queen Alicent and her father Otto Hightower reading the message.
The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.
"This is vile and disgusting news."
"Fatherâ
"With Lord Cregan Stark?" inquires Otto, "Do you know what this means, Alicent?"
"It can't be that bad, still Daeron's wedding to Lady Lannister adds soldiers and ships to us for Aegon's claim. So does Aemond's wedding to lady Baratheon."
"Rhaenyra will have the whole North on her side by the time the time comes and you know it. The whole fucking North fighting for her and her bastard daughter!" Otto exclaims in annoyance, "We can't let that wedding happen."
"Rhaenyra must already be getting everything ready at Dragonstone. And to try to stop her the wedding, she could easily marry Y/N to Lord Stark somewhere else," says the queen, "It will be useless."
"Call the Maester. Call the entire Council, immediately," Otto quickly orders one of his guards, annoyed and desperate.
The guard immediately complies with the Hand's order, so that very soon all the members enter and take their respective seats in the Council Chamber.
But not long after, Aegon and Aemond Targaryen also decide to burst into the room, Aemond mostly noticing that something is wrong and Aegon simply following, his grandsire surprised to see him in his five senses.
"What's the matter?" asks Aemond serious, approaching his mother.
But before his own mother can answer him, his grandsire does, only without answering him.
"Your wedding to Lady Baratheon will happen by the end of this month."
Aemond immediately observes his grandsire without any expression, hiding his surprise well, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room.
"We will send word to Storm's End's, Lady Floris should already be here by in less than five days and prepare everything immediately," Otto continues, "Not too soon after, we will send a raven to Oldtown and Prince Daeron's wedding to Lady Cerelle will also happen."
"May I ask, my Lord Hand, why so hurriedly?" asks lord Lannister.
"Yes, why?" inquires Aemond of his grandsire as well, with a tone of voice and a menacingly serious look.
But Otto Hightower deliberately ignores his grandson.
"Are you not pleased with the news, Lord Jason?" he inquires condecently, "After all, it is your daughter who is to marry a prince of the realm, my grandson."
"Not that I am complaining, my Lord, in fact I have been waiting to hear this news ever since we agreed to join our houses. But I was also hoping, just like my daughter, that the wedding would be relevant and not too attached to another wedding also of another prince of the realm. It certainly would not draw the attention of our people."
"This is not about getting people's attention, nor how attractive the union is, Lord Jason," Otto tells him seriously and clearly annoyed, "You should feel grateful that the union is going to happen, because I remind you that this is about Prince Aegon's claim to the Throne, or have you already forgotten?"
"I asked you a question and I'm not going to repeat myself," Aemond speaks again in his grandsire's direction, serious.
This immediately gets everyone's attention, but in the end it is Queen Alicent who responds in a soft, cautious voice.
"Y/N is going to be married."
This immediately gets Aemond's attention and also Aegon behind him, who was disinterested and even annoyed to hear his grandsire's words about his claim to the Iron Throne.
But this definitely gets his attention, he even watches his brother cautiously, waiting for his reaction, just like his mother.
However, Aemond keeps his usual neutral and at the same time serious face, hiding his true emotions very well, starting to feel how those true emotions run through his whole body and want to explode.
Otto watches him attentively, annoyed and serious, instantly knowing very well what he must be feeling. And that is what he, Otto Hightower, does not want.
"Yes, Aemond, with Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell," he tells him seriously, "You too have already forgotten why you are marrying Lady Baratheon precisely?"
Aemond clenches his jaw, immediately this getting his attention and watching his grandsire with a deadly and threatening look, all this together with his posture showing that he is losing his patience.
And that everyone notices.
"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him, rising from his seat.
"When?"
Aemond's voice interrupts him, in the direction of his grandsire, his whole posture tense and his hands made into fists, his jaw clenched and his gaze like that of a dragon about to burn everything to the ground.
"I told you, by the end of this month your weddingâ
"No, when will Y/N's wedding to Cregan Stark be."
He interrupts her in a firm, menacingly serious voice.
"It doesn't matter when it will be," Otto tells him in annoyance, raising his voice higher, drawing everyone's attention, demanding, "What matters right now is that these two weddings happen before the wedding of Rhaenyra's daughter to Lord Stark so as to invite all the great houses, even Cregan Stark and form alliances before Rhaenyra and Prince Daemon."
"In two moons, approximately."
Alicent replies to Aemond, noting how his anger grows more and more as his grandsire speaks, not giving him an answer.
"That's what they said on the raven they sent this afternoon from Dragonstone."
Aemond lowers his gaze, beginning to think about it, about how the wedding will take place here, at King's Landing, where he will have to be present and witness it allâŠto Y/N, his Y/N, getting married to Lord Cregan Stark.
Lord Cregan fucking Stark.
"I doubt we can do anything about it, my Lord," Jasper Wylde speaks, "The wedding is already a done deal, we will not succeed in convincing Lord Stark to change his allegiance."
"And this is a great advantage for Princess Rhaenyra and her claim," says Jason Lannister, " Her daughter, Princess Y/N and Lord Stark together is an excellent and convenient match."
At the words of some of the council members, Aemond can't help but feel downright sick, thinking of Y/N and Lord Stark.
As you should.
His own mind tells him, feeling the fire and anger coursing through his veins, unable to control himself, thinking about what is really going on here.
"We will do whatever it takes to still have as much support as possible. King Viserys will not last long and by now we would have to secure all possible alliances for when the time comes. If war falls upon us and if we pull this off⊠fighting Rhaenyra and her alliances won't be so hard."
"She will have the entire North fighting for her, my Lord."
One of the members tells him cautiously, thinking about the number of soldiers Princess Rhaenyra will have at her disposal, also all the people supporting her claim, that adding up to the whole Valley.
"That's why we need to be more clever," Otto Hightower insists, "My grandchildren's weddings will be paramount in this. We need to send a raven to Oldtown, now," he turns to the Maester, "I need Daeron here at King's Landing and your daughter as well, Lord Jason. After Aemond's wedding, heâ
"No."
Aemond Targaryen completely interrupts his grandsire in front of the Queen and the entire Council, drawing everyone's attention, surprised by his boldness and deadly behavior in the direction of his grandsire, who also gives him a threatening look.
"You had plenty of time to plan my wedding with Lord Borros' daughter. It's not my fault that until now you are acting when your job as the Hand is to act since you knew the threats," he tells her seriously and completely firm with his words, "If you want a wedding, plan Daeron's, not mine. I will not be a part of your incompetence when I have already given you too much."
"You are forgetting your place, Aemond," Otto warns him in a careful tone and one in which he fully tells him that he does not want to contradict him now.
But Aemond has had enough.
"You are forgetting your place," he replies in kind.
"Aemond, that's enough," his mother calls to him instantly, letting out a long breath, "You don't want to get married now, that's fine. But don't forget that eventually you will have to," she reminds him earnestly, "After all, Lady Baratheon is still your betrothed and she along with Lord Borros expect the wedding to take place soon."
Again Aemond feels sick to his stomach as he listens to his mother's words, thinking of his betrothed, Lady Floris Baratheon. The very thought of marrying her makes him feel unhappy.
But it is the truth⊠she is still his betrothed and whether he wishes it or not, he will eventually have to marry her, because his family swore an oath with hers, not him, but his family.
And he has to live up to the weight of that oath.
"We should continue to discuss the marriage of Princess Y/N to Lord Stark, my Queen," says the Maester.
"There is nothing more to discuss, the chances are slim with Lord Stark and we will have to focus on bringing the marriage of my son and Lady Cerelle to the attention of the great houses."
Queen Alicent begins to lead the entire Council, as Otto Hightower continues to watch Aemond with daggers in his eyes, serious, furious and incredulous at his behavior.
He thought he already had everything under control, but Otto forgot that he is not a dragon and the blood of the dragon in anyone who possesses it, especially in Aemond, is chaotic and reckless.
"Congratulations, brother."
Aegon catches Aemond's eye, watching him over his shoulder as he gives him a friendly clap on the back, almost whispering his words.
"You said you hoped our sweet niece would soon outgrow you? Well, now she's marrying the lord of all Winterfell," he says with a small smile, "She's definitely outgrown you."
And with nothing more to say, Aegon leaves the Council Chamber, not interested in the matters of the realm, much less to plan a fucking wedding and have his grandsire take it upon himself to form alliances for his claim to the Throne, as if he cares about such a thing.
As Aemond stands still for a few seconds, watching him go, his words repeating over and over in his mind, anger again coursing through his body, fire, hatred.
He wishes he could prove his brother right, but the truth is that he is very wrong.
Unable to stand it any longer, he quickly heads out of the room as well, not wanting nor caring at all to discuss these matters, this room really displeasing him by bringing back bad memories.
And as soon as he faces the corridors of the Keep, again Aemond remains static for a few moments and his mind again thinking about things he really doesn't want to think about.
But he can't help it.
Like that time he also rushed out of this room, leaving the woman he loves behind, tearing her apart in the worst possible way and pretending not to care.
Even as one of the fiercest and most brutal knights of his time, Prince Aemond doesn't know where he found the courage and strength to break Y/N's heart⊠his Y/N.
He has always characterized himself as an honorable and respectful man, especially to Y/N, but what he did to her⊠was out of his nature and highly unpleasant.
And once he was in the safety of his chamber, the first thing he did was sit in one of his chairs near his fireplace, wanting to feel the fire, with the realization slowly starting to become clearer to him, realizing what he had done.
Aemond remembers the last time he cried, it was when he was a little boy in one of his episodes over his lost eye.
A terrible migraine kept him awake for a whole day, he couldn't even get out of bed and couldn't bear to see the light of day. His mother held him tight and was there for him all the time, not even leaving him alone for a second.
Alicent tried and ordered everything to make him feel better, but the Maesters couldn't do much and all he could do, all he learned to do since he was a little boy, was to have to endure the pain.
And since then, the first tear falls down his right cheek.
Aemond, upset, angry and disgusted with himself, cries. And he actually allows himself to cry as he remembers his Y/N's precious face completely shattered and red from her crying, her whole look confused and in need of explanations.
And he couldn't even give her that, an explanation.
And the worst part was that they already had it all. It was all said and done, they were going to be husband and wife finally, as they had asked for so much.
But he finally snatched away her illusion and simply left her without explanations. And that's what makes him lose control completely.
Furious, feeling like a coward, an idiot and annoyed with himself, he lets out a growl and starts breaking everything in his room, with despair and anger in his body.
He screams and blames himself for that weight on his shoulders, a weight that does not belong to him, a weight that he had nothing to do with from the beginning and a weight that he had to let go of the woman he loves when he almost had her because of his family's ambition.
That night the servants had to silently clean the room of Prince Aemond, who, unable to bear it any longer, went for a ride in Vhagar, wanting to forget everything and everyone.
And now, in the present, him in the middle of the hall with the thought of Y/N marrying Lord Stark soon⊠it's too much.
And he knows it's the same feeling she must have felt when he broke her heart.
He couldn't agree more that he deserves it, but he didn't want to let her go either. Nothing he did was really his choice, but that was the right decision.
And nowâŠhe still has to face the consequences of his own actions: Y/N's marriage to a man who will not be him.
"There you have it, my princess."
"Thank you, Emelly," you smile at one of your maids, who leaves you a tray with your almost every night tea so you can fall asleep, "You can rest now."
" You don't need anything else, princess?"
"No, I'm good, thank you. See you in the morrow."
"Of course, princess. Get some rest."
The maid leaves your room, who looking at you in your mirror you continue brushing your straight, silver hair, preparing for sleep.
You've already gone to your siblings' and Rhaena's rooms, especially the little ones', to wish them good night.
Your mother and father have also already come to speak with you and have your usual conversations of the night, where they talk about your wedding to Lord Cregan more than anything else, Daemon and Rhaenyra making sure nothing else haunts your mind.
They know that a wedding can cause too much stress, especially when you're marrying the one you didn't expect from the start, talking about duty and what's expected next from you and your husband.
Your older brother Jace had told you it's a stressful but very necessary conversation, considering the next wedding in the family will be his and Baela's.
You let out a long breath, leave your brush on your dressing table and head off to drink your tea, needing to sleep.
You take the cup from the tray in your hands when the napkin catches your attention. You frown and notice how there is something sticking out from under that napkin, hidden but wanting to be seen specifically by you.
You set the cup down on the table and pick up the napkin, curious and wary, realizing that it is the small envelope of a letter, definitely catching your attention more than before.
You analyze it and there is no indication of who the message might be from. So you decide to open it, finding a small sentence and an addressee that makes your heart jump in your chest and your lips parted.
Meet me at our place by the Hour of the Wolf. I need to explain everything to you, please. I will be waiting.
A.T.
Your pulse starts to race, your whole body starts to shake and you read the message over and over again, your system making you feel more emotions and feelings as you read who has sent this to you.
You think to yourself that this must be a joke or even perhaps some kind of trap, thinking that this can't be. But you know it's him.
It's his handwriting, you would recognize it on any piece of paper, as well as the signature he always uses in all his messages, short and subtle.
Now you understand why so much mystery. But you honestly don't understand how he could have gotten his message to you. It's practically impossible.
Unless he hired or paid irrelevant people, because Emelly is extremely loyal to you and would not have done this considering your history with your uncle, as well as anyone else knows it.
Your uncle who right now must be waiting for you.
Your mind tells you as you look at his message in front of you, surprised with your parted lips, with a feeling starting to invade your chest that you don't know exactly what it is but⊠it causes you some emotion.
And you can't. You truly can't do this.
You remember everything that happened, what he did to you, what his grandsire did to you too, and how broken you felt, how he broke your heart and left you without explanation, only to become betrothed to Floris Baratheon.
You swallow hard, walking to your huge windows, looking out at the night outside and barely lit by the fire torches that light a little of the roads around Dragonstone, looking out beyond the sea, in the direction where that island is and where you and Aemond used to meet.
You press your lips together, feeling a sharp pain in your chest, as well as that uncertainty and beginning to take into consideration what he has written to you on that little piece of paper.
But again⊠you can't.
You are both betrothed. You are betrothed to Lord Cregan Stark, you will marry him soon and then⊠probably he will marry Lady Floris Baratheon as well.
You know you shouldn't even consider it, you know you shouldn't feel that curiosity and longing, because he doesn't deserve it.
That's why you make your decision just as he made his moons ago.
Even though you admit that it hurts and even costs you, you still think of yourself, because he doesn't deserve you to feel this way about him, not after all the damage caused.
You don't know what Aemond really thinks, but it certainly isn't entirely wise to ask you to meet in the hour of the Wolf as if nothing had happened.
And what a coincidence that he does this just when your wedding is in a few more weeks.
You stare out over the sea for a few more moments, thinking, but having already made up your mind. You let out a long breath and without hesitation, you head to your fireplace and throw his message into the fire.
Then you head back to your table to drink your tea and drink it all down so you can finally sleep and forget this ever happened.
While on the small island in Blackwater Bay, Aemond Targaryen keeps Vhagar close by, watching as he sits on a huge rock on the sand of the beach towards the direction of Dragonstone, waiting for you.
He doesn't really find much to entertain himself with, beginning to feel anxious with each passing minute and still not seeing any dragons approaching in the night sky, getting up and pacing back and forth, letting out long breaths and trying to calm himself.
He would be a fool not to have thought that maybe you would ignore him and not even in your greatest madness, the other side of the Targaryen coin, would you agree to meet him after all that happened.
Of course he had thought about it. But he still decided to risk it.
But the minutes pass and pass, with Aemond waiting for you, disappointment and reality coming at him like a strong wave every moment he is still there alone on the island.
He feels frustration beginning to course through his body, also anger but not for you, but for himself.
He thinks of your soon marriage to him, Lord Stark and feels more despair coursing through him, not even bearing the thought.
He asks the Seven to you please show up, really wanting to explain himself.
But he knows it is too late. He was never going to get this chance, because he really hurt you too much and he knows it, he knows it and he has the memory more vivid than ever.
But even though he knew it, he can't help but be disappointed as he continues to wait for a dragon in the night sky that never came.
âPRESENT
The days go by too fast after the conversation with your mother and after so many preparations and requests for the wedding.
When the wedding day finally arrives.
Your mother overlooks her pregnancy, considering she is barely four moons pregnant, to ride Syrax and take her with her to King's Landing while you ride Silverwing so you both arrive in the capital a day before the wedding, as you wished.
You try to suppress all feelings along with the nerves of returning to the Red Keep, where there are many buried memories and people from the past. However, you are here for your wedding.
You know that this visit is brief just to get the wedding over with and nothing more, then your family will return to Dragonstone or probably your mother will decide to stay again to take care of your grandsire, while you will go to Winterfell.
You really want to know the North. It was one of the few conversations you had with Lord Stark and he agreed, as well as both of you being present at Court after spending married moons.
And you really have no intention of anything else happening and just let it happen as it should. And just before the sun sets, you and your mother arrive at King's Landing.
You meet your father, your brothers, sisters, also your grandmother Rhaenys and your grandsire Corlys, even also Queen Alicent welcomes you both back and also gives you her congratulations for your wedding.
If you didn't know her, you wouldn't know that her smile is fake. Clearly Alicent didn't want you to marry her son but neither did she want you to marry a person as influential as Lord Stark. But honestly you don't care.
She is the one who directs you and your mother to the king's chambers, to whom your mother wishes to speak and also in case she wants to dedicate a few words to you for your wedding.
On your way back to your room you meet your aunt, sweet Helaena, who welcomes your mother with a charming look and smile, also you, congratulating you on your wedding.
Fortunately you don't meet any other relevant people, just as you didn't see him or his betrothed anywhere, which you are thankful for.
Because the sooner this could happen, without distractions and unexpected inconveniences, the better.
The only thing you remember about that night when you arrived at King's Landing is that you had to drink a large and considerable amount of your tea in order to sleep, not being able to fall asleep because you were thinking about tomorrow.
And honestly also for thinking a little about him.
You were afraid that he would suddenly enter your chamber through the secret door, because surely he hasn't forgotten his request to meet you on the island to explain everything and you never showed up, but fortunately that didn't happen.
And when you least expect it, you are already at the celebration feast with all the guests present, you looking like a bride, waiting for your betrothed, everything going according to your mother's plan.
The common thing in a wedding is to get married at the Septon and then move on to the feast, but in this case, your mother chose the other way around, just like her wedding to your father, Sr. Laenor.
You learned that Alicent had questioned this, but your mother didn't care much, just reminded her that this was how her wedding had once been and that this way, you would feel less overwhelmed, knowing you perfectly well.
When it all begins.
They have already announced the king, also all your family, only the Hightower-Targaryen and also your betrothed are missing.
Your grandsire is seated at the large table next to his wife on the right side, while your mother is seated on his left side, followed by your place and then your betrothed's place. Your father takes a seat at the head of the table on the left side along with your brothers and sisters.
All the lord's and lady's present are spread throughout the Throne Room, as the food will soon be served and the musicians are already in position to begin at any moment.
Your mother at your side holds your hand to give you her support and her soft, sweet smiles in your direction to help with your nerves. Although she also makes sure that your entire appearance is intact.
It was always Rhaenyra's wish that her daughter, her first daughter, would have a wedding like hers was.
She would also prefer a Valyrian wedding, in fact that was her illusion when the king gave his blessing for the wedding between Y/N and Aemond.
But now, things are different and considering that Lord Stark is not Targaryen, clearly, a Westerosi wedding was the best option. And you did not complain at all.
In fact, it filled you with excitement and affection that when your father and grandfather saw you entering the Room, with your appearance for the occasion, they instantly told you that you wore them many years ago, when they were also in this same place and your mother married your father, Laenor.
A white dress with shoulder-length sleeves draws attention with golden details and some chains adorn around your waist with dragon figures.
Your hair falls in elegant waves, reaching above your waist, with some very subtle braids adorning the top of your head.
Your mother wanted some golden pins to be placed between your hair, also jewelry such as gold necklaces, rings and bracelets, to look more and properly like a Targaryen princess.
When at that moment, they announce the missing people at the big table. The people or rather the person you most expected and never wanted to arrive at the same time.
"Prince Aegon Targaryen, first born son of King Viserys Targaryen with his lady wife, Princess Helaena Targaryen."
The doors directly in front of you allow you to see the entrance of your uncle and sweet aunt who together make their way over to you to take a seat beside Queen Alicent.
Aegon's appearance is appropriate, however, due to all the rumors that keep spreading to Dragonstone, his condition is far from the best for a prince of the realm. His tired face with large bags under his eyes and his clear boredom and disinterest in being here is clear.
However, after all he seems to be willing to drink wine and enjoy himself.
But your sweet aunt by his side completely overshadows him once the view is on her and her beautiful sky blue dress with light silver tones and all her bright and sweet look that characterizes her so much.
When they announce the next people and you try not to make a big deal of it once Aegon and Helaena take their seats.
"Prince Aemond Targaryen, second son of King Viserys and Prince Daeron Targaryen, the third and final son of the king."
So both of them, he, now enter the Throne Room and you avoid looking too much, as well as feeling too much.
You try to distract yourself with the fact that you hadn't seen Daeron in a very long time, nor had anyone else, not even your mother or father. You thought he would still be in Oldtown because he wasn't even here for Helaena and Aegon's wedding.
Maybe he really wanted to fly here, but he was not allowed to, maybe because of his age, knowing that Queen Alicent does not like dragons and is very overprotective in that aspect.
But now that you are looking at him, he is tall, very tall. Not as tall as he is, but for his age, he's definitely growing into a man. But even though you want to focus on Daeron, you don't as you focus on him, inevitably.
His walk hasn't changed, neither has that determination, that confidence and that kind of power he possesses just by looking at him, also that fear and respect at the same time.
And his appearance⊠hasn't changed either.
Maybe his continuous training has made him look a bit stockier of his arms and his body in general, but his hair, his face and his eye patch is the same.
But he gives you the impression that he's even more handsome.
You look away from him in an instant, as everything that happened comes back to you in a matter of seconds, which is inappropriate. But all you can think about is him.
His hugs, kisses, caresses⊠all those words of love, all those wishes and all those promises⊠all only to end in an unexplained broken heart. You swore that he and you were destined to burn together. You swore that you would marry in the tradition of your house.
You swore it would be him and you.
But he made his decision.
And now here you are. He's betrothed and so are you, where by the end of the day you'll be married.
You completely avoid looking at his face once he starts to walk up the steps to take a seat next to his brothers, just like Daeron. You don't feel his gaze at any moment, just as you don't dare to look at him either.
When you ask yourself; where is his betrothed?
She must be here for such celebrations if they are betrothed. And you are sure that Floris Baratheon would not want to miss such an important celebration at the Red Keep.
However, he is all alone and his betrothed seems to be nowhere to be found. Doubt lingers but the feast gives you something new to think about when they announce your betrothed.
"Cregan Stark, lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North, the future lord husband of the bride, Y/N Velaryon."
At that moment, everyone at the table rises to greet your betrothed who walks towards you with a kind and respectful smile, looking very well for all this celebration. Or at least most of the people at the table stand upâŠ.
You can notice out of the corner of your eye how on Queen Alicent's side some people are still seated, but you don't dare look at them, though you get an idea of who they might be.
Still you focus on your betrothed who bows to the king once he arrives at the table and then makes his way to you to take a seat next to you.
Not before taking your mother's hand to plant a gentle kiss on the back of it, which she accepts with a kind and sweet smile and then turns to you and does the same with more affection.
You smile in his direction as you return his gesture by placing a soft kiss on his cheek and then both of you take a seat, as well as everyone else. When your grandsire, the king, gives a short speech before the feast begins.
And once everything has been said, the feast begins. The music starts and the food is served.
You feel his gaze for a few seconds, not long enough, but you don't notice him at all and continue to enjoy the feast. You talk to your mother from time to time and also to your betrothed, that is if your father and Jace are not talking to him asking him about Winterfell and the Wall.
Your sisters also ask you from time to time if you are feeling well and you can only nod, telling yourself that this is really happening and you have to completely ignore his presence.
When the time comes for the opening of the dance.
Cregan rises from his seat first and offers you his hand to lead you to the center of the Room, which you gladly accept and together you walk to dance in full view of everyone, a traditional Westerosi dance.
It is a simple dance, nothing difficult and you really enjoy it, while you focus your gaze at all times on him, Lord Cregan, who also smiles softly in your direction and does perfectly the right steps, all under the watchful eye of all the nobles present and also of your family.
Both of you stand back to back, and then both of you slowly raise your arms to shoulder height, while you can't help it and turn your gaze towards him, already feeling since the dance started his burning gaze.
Aemond has a meaningful look on his face when your gaze meets his, acting nonchalant, watching you intently, raising his wine glass to his lips.
You can only smile really ungracefully and turn your gaze to the front, continuing to dance and focusing only on your betrothed.
While Aemond at all times⊠wants this to be over and done with. Though I'd prefer to think this isn't really happening.
He feels like an alluring force, as he can't take his eye off of you, looking at you so beautiful in that dress, knowing in an instant that this is not the dress you would have worn for their wedding. But you still look really beautiful.
A true Targaryen beauty.
A warm feeling envelops him every second he sees you there, so perfect, dancing, smiling and catching everyone's attention, his especially at your every move, not realizing that his face gets softer every second as he watches you.
However⊠everything is replaced by hatred and anger when those smiles are directed at Lord Stark. And by the way he looks at you too⊠he wants to burn everything to the ground, clenching his hands into fists.
"Easy, little brother."
Aegon murmurs behind him, over his shoulder, amused, his breath smelling very strongly of wine.
"Everyone can sense how you're starting to wake up. You don't want to cause a fucking scene at our niece's wedding because of your jealousy, do you? Grandsire won't be too pleased."
Aemond can only feel that rage come over him more, knowing full well that Aegon has no intention of calming him down, but to provoke him further and do exactly as he has told him.
And he is succeeding.
Especially in the moment when he again focuses on you, smiling at Lord Stark, glowing and looking this beautiful but for him, Lord Stark, not for him, the one she was supposed to marry and be completely his.
And he regrets it so much, he regrets it so much that he called off their wedding and also leaving you without explanation, knowing that this is exactly what he deserves, to see you happy without him.
As the dance of just the two of them ends and a new song begins, in which he watches as Y/N, his Y/N, places one of her hands on Lord Stark's shoulder and the other intertwines with his, his other hand on her waist, this only making him angrier.
A more choreographed dance begins and the nobles in pairs also begin to join the center of the Room to dance, beginning the real celebration.
And Aemond sinking in his own misery, thinks that he could have survived watching Y/N dance with Lord Stark at an appropriate distance. But now they are both chest to chest, smiling and talking about something with all the nobles also dancing around them.
He doesn't understand that important thing that the two of them are talking about, but he doesn't like it at all, neither does the closeness. In fact he doesn't like any of it.
All he wants is to get her away from him, away from all of this and make her his, finally, no matter what.
His breathing starts to get heavier by the moment, thinking that by the time this is over, she will already be married to him and they will go away together, where they will have to consummate the marriage.
The very thought makes him only feel more enraged and more courageous to snatch her from his arms, not caring about her family and his, not caring about his grandsire and his words, not caring about his mother's words either about "you have to control yourself and think of us."
Not only does Aegon notice her state, so does his grandsire, who watches him intently and cautiously, noticing the look on Lord Stark's face more than menacing, about to do something foolish even though he was very clear with him before attending this feast.
He also catches the eye of Rhaenyra, who watches her husband and subtly points to her half-brother, instantly Daemon knowing exactly what is going on.
And how could he not know?
It reminds him of him many years ago, also watching the woman he loves, about to marry someone else who is not him.
He places a small half smile, bringing his wine glass to his lips, watching his nephew attentively and amused, almost expectantly, wondering even though Aemond has his full attention on you, if he will finally do something about it or what.
"Aemond," his grandsire mumbles to him.
But Aemond, beginning to go into his madness, doesn't watch or listen to him, watching you intently.
"Aemond, I'm warning you," his grandsire insists.
"Oh come on grandsire," Aegon tells him amused, "You know it will be useless. I can tell you don't know him."
And even though Aemond is immersed in his madness, he still thinks and remembers the words of his grandsire and mother.
"I will overlook that it was you who prevented the raven to Storms Ends from arriving when you knew perfectly well that your betrothed should have been here days ago."
His mother tells him seriously and annoyed.
"Now you will attend this wedding alone and I expect you to behave yourself. Just as I expect you to come to terms with the idea that you will marry Lady Baratheon by the end of next month, without protest."
"And you are not going to commit any of your foolishness at the Y/N wedding, do you understand me?" Otto immediately threatens him, "You're not going to talk to Y/N, you're not going to threaten Lord Stark either, and you're going to let the wedding happen in peace, is that clear? "
Aemond feels a bitter feeling, continuing to watch you attentively and him watching threateningly, with the fire in his body about to explode.
"You know what your problem is, grandsire?" Aegon says to Otto Hightower, who watches him seriously and on the verge of losing his patience, "You question the blood of the dragon too much."
And in that same instant, Aemond rises from his seat in a confident movement, with his gaze firmly fixed on you, who are completely disinterested in what is happening with him, completely focused on Lord Stark.
And Aemond's movement completely catches the attention of his grandsire, his mother, also your mother and father, who in an instant look at each other, definitely remembering the past.
Aemond makes his way towards you, not caring about anything.
He doesn't care about his mother and grandsire, he doesn't care about the war that will probably befall them when his father dies, the only thing he cares about at this moment is you.
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@iloveallmyboys @libdarkheart @angelianlearp @happinessinthebeing @targaryenmoony @tempt-ress @callsign-blue @twobluejeans @luna-salem @literatureluster @thekinslayersswordhand @queenofshinigamis @bugshideaway @minttea07 @itszzmoon
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Navy. We got to cuddle with our florist. Are we also going to cuddle with our tattoo artist? đ„ș
Of course, nonnie.
Traditions and Innovation
Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader
Summary: Bucky wants to kiss you under the mistletoe, but it doesn't happen in the traditional sense.
Word Count: Over 1.7k
Warnings: Kissing, humor, tension, teasing, inner monologue, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
Previous Part of AU: Rules and Chaos
A/N: Sorry, lovelies. I'm only capable of ficlets lately, but enjoy some Hottie and Sugar. â€ïž Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics and Bucky edit by the amazing @nixakimbo .Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
âMy poor, shivering Sugar. Donât worry. Iâll warm you up in no time,â Bucky said as he curled a hand around your hip, feeling him smile when he brushed a kiss against your temple. âItâs a tough job, but Iâll do it.â
An icy breeze crept into your bones through your coat when you rushed over to the tattoo parlor minutes ago, earning a sympathetic gaze from Jake when you walked through the door. It was one of the coldest days you could remember and you couldnât get rid of the chill until Bucky offered to cuddle with you on the couch in the break room. You werenât about to turn down his generous offer.
Especially since the guys made the room bright and cozy for the holidays with twinkling lights.
âYeah, I really had to twist your arm to snuggle with me,â you teased, your heart thudding as you tilted your head back and let his lips skim along the column of your neck. It was almost criminal how soft his kisses were. âAnd I have no doubt in your abilities, Hottie.â
The man was built like a furnace, his firm body seeping warmth into yours as he held you in his embrace. Heat continued to pulse through your veins as he chuckled low and deep. âIf you ever doubt my abilities in anything, I wonât hesitate to tie you to my bed and prove you wrong,â he promised, his voice even lower as it slipped into something more intimate.
You shivered for an entirely different reason now, threading your fingers through his hair and gripping them before his mouth could reach your chest. It earned you a throaty groan in response, one that nearly had you crawling in his lap. Somehow you managed to stop yourself.
âWe canât get too carried away,â you said, as much as you wanted to. You had to get back to your shop and he had a client coming in for a touch-up shortly. âDonât give me that look,â you half begged, trying to ignore how your insides clenched when he lifted his head and gave you a glimpse of his darkened eyes.
How could you ever feel cold under that heated stare?
âBut I want some sugar, Sugar,â he purred, one hand coming up to gently grasp your chin. Warm breath ghosted across your lips as he leaned in. âJust a little taste.â
Oh, how I want him to properly taste me. Make me see stars. Make me cry his name.
It was almost chaste in the beginning, his lips gently brushing against yours before he pulled back and leaned back in. Your lips parted first, silently begging for him to deepen the kiss. He still had his hand on your chin as he took his time, as if he truly wanted to taste what your mouth had to offer.
âYouâre so fucking sweet,â he murmured when he pulled back, his gaze dropping to your lips as you caught your breath. That look alone made your toes curl. âI should put mistletoe everywhere just to find more excuses to kiss you.â
âThat would be a first for me,â you said before you could stop yourself.
âWhat would be a first?â
âBeing kissed under mistletoe. Iâve never done that,â you admitted with heated cheeks though there was no need to feel embarrassed.
Bucky pulled back a bit further as his eyebrows shot up, taking some of the warmth with him. âNo one has kissed you under mistletoe? How is that possible?â
âI guess I havenât had the opportunity,â you answered carefully.
A lump formed in your throat when he continued to stare and you werenât quite sure why. Maybe it was because he treated you as if the sun, moon, and stars hung in the sky because of you. Not everyone saw you as anything special the way he did.
No one ever loved or cared enough about you before to try.
He slowly shook his head as if he refused to believe you. âWell, Iâm fixing that right now,â he said more to himself than you before he gently put his hands over your ears. âJensen!â
You smiled at his muffled shout before he put his arms back around you. His voice carried when he wanted it to. âYeah?â Jake yelled back before he rushed to the break room and stuck his head in through the doorway. âWhatâs up?â
âDo we have any mistletoe around here?â Bucky asked.
âBucky, what are you doing?â You whispered.
âFinding mistletoe before you go back to the shop. And, no, Iâm not letting you leave until we find some,â he whispered back, waiting for Jake to give him an answer.
âI donât think we do. Steve mentioned buying some,â he said, fiddling with his glasses before his eyes widened. âWait! I think Hal has something that should work.â
âOf fucking course, he does,â your boyfriend mumbled affectionately as Jake went to get him.
âYou really donât have to do anything, Bucky,â you told him, turning his face back toward you. It shouldnât have surprised you that he wanted to. He was a romantic at heart and you secretly enjoyed that he wanted to find some. âI appreciate it, but we donât need something hanging over our heads for us to kiss.â
âI know we donât, but maybe I want to give you that opportunity to have that kind of kiss,â he said. Your mouth went dry at his heart stopping smile. âIf youâll indulge me.â
You felt the weight of his tender gaze as you smiled, your eyes burning slightly from unshed tears. Thinking back on dating jerks like Richard, you were thankful for the experience because it showed you how guys should treat you and that you wouldnât settle for less than what you deserved. It began with loving yourself.
âThereâs no one else Iâd rather kiss,â you said, resting your hand on his chest before Hal strolled into the room.
âWell, well, well,â he smiled, bringing attention to his hair as he ran a hand through it. As if he didn't turn enough heads on a normal day, he decided to dye his hair red and half green for the holiday season. âI heard you were looking for some mistletoe.â
âYeah, you have any?â Bucky asked impatiently.
Hal chuckled and lifted his shirt slightly, giving you both a quick flash of his abs. âAs a matter of factâŠâ
âOh, my god,â you giggled, covering your mouth as Hal gestured to his belt. The hand painted buckle had mistletoe painted on it with âKISS MEâ written underneath. âThatâsâŠâ
You stole a glance at Bucky and you swore you saw his left eye twitch. He likely had a sweet plan in his mind and got this instead. âWhat the fuck is that?â
âItâs mistletoe. Just like you asked for. I mean, itâs a form of mistletoe. I have a date tonight with Angel,â Hal explained, pointing at it again. You wanted to wish him good luck with his date, but you couldnât stop giggling. âWell, what are you waiting for? Get over here, get on your knees, and start kissing. Or should I go over there?â
There was no mistaking your boyfriendâs eye twitch this time as your laughter died down. âIâm not kissing my girlfriend by your crotch. Iâd sooner choke you with that belt.â
Hal seemed to consider it before he quickly shook his head. âNah. I tried the choking thing once. Not really for me,â he said, smirking mischievously as he looked between the two of you. âBut if sheâs into that-â
Well...
You grabbed Buckyâs arm before he could launch himself at his employee and friend, who held his hands up in surrender. âHereâs a thought. Why donât you take the belt off and hold it over our heads,â You suggested, hoping to appease your boyfriend as Hal unbuckled his belt with a shrug and removed it from the loops. âIt still counts.â
âNot exactly traditional,â Bucky muttered under his breath before you brushed a finger along his chiseled jaw.
âWeâll call this innovative,â you said with a sweet and sincere smile. One you knew he couldn't resist.
âInnovative, huh?â Bucky asked, pulling you close as Hal waltzed over with an amused smile and dangled the belt above your heads.
âYes,â you smiled as he framed your face. âSo kiss me, please.â
Bucky held your cheeks with such care that it sent your heart soaring. This kiss was softer than before, yet full of promise and hunger, deep and thorough. He stole the breath from your lungs until you were left dizzy and wanting more.
It was the kind of kiss that warmed you up all over, like a flame no one could ever put out.
He pulled away first, slowly, but he seemed just as affected as you felt since he let out a shuddering breath and didn't let you go. âFuck,â he whispered, bringing a smile to your face.
You had to close your eyes again to center yourself, still smiling. âYeah. Fuck,â you whispered back before Hal cleared his throat.
âI really do adore you two lovebirds,â he began, stepping back to put his belt back on as you opened your eyes. Bucky didn't bother to look his way, only gazing at you. âBut before you round the next base, Andyâs still talking about replacing the couch from the last time.â
He'll change his tune if he ever fools around in here with Sunny.
âThank you, Hal,â you said, bringing a hand to Buckyâs cheek before he could grumble. Your touch was enough to soften his demeanor. âAnd thank you for my mistletoe kiss. I'll never forget it.â
Just like your first date that didn't go as planned, it made it all the more special.
Bucky smiled before he helped you both get to your feet. You had to get back to work. âI'm glad you liked it, but Iâm getting us some actual mistletoe later and putting it all over our apartments. Bedrooms included.â
âIs that innovative?â
âYeah, it is,â he smiled, sneaking in one more tender kiss before you had to go.
As long as Bucky would be the one to kiss you, he could put up mistletoe wherever he wanted.
These two. đ„° Love and thanks for reading. â€ïž
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
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wedding wanda please!! sheâd just fall in love w u all over again and then the night of ur wedding she just goes feral and calling u âmy wifeâ âall mineâ and she just gets super possessive and proud that u are now hers !!!
I Do |
PAIRING: WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEM! READER
summary: Wanda and you get married and then then Wanda goes all soft and fuckes you in your wedding dress ahhh
warnings: ****MINORS DNI***** *****MEN DNI***** fluff so much fluff đ„ș I'm going so aahwhwhwh, smut, praise ALOT OF PRAISE AHHH, name calling (Wanda calling you my wife, my love, princess, doll) I sobbed I wanna have soft sex with Wanda so bad I just know she will be the most gentle.
author's note: just reminding you guys that my first language is not English so if there's any grammatical errors PLEASE IGNORE THEM AND MOVE TF ON. Also I have no idea how weddings work so I did what I did
Word count: 2.1k
_______________________________________________________________________________
standing in your bridal gown, looking outside, and seeing Wanda standing there waiting for you, it was like a dream come true you've been waiting months for this day and now it was finally here. It seemed like everything around you just stopped. You could see nothing else but Wanda. In a white wedding gown, soon to be your wife. YOUR WIFE.
your dad came from behind holding your arm, breaking you from your gazing he said "Are you ready to go down the aisle sweetheart?" you took a deep breath and nodded as you both started walking.
as you walk down the aisle everyone cheers, "You are in Love" by Taylor Swift playing faintly in the background as you looked at Wanda and saw your whole world right there and then. It was like you were born to live this day and day alone. Everything seemed perfect everything made sense now.
Wanda looked at you and smiled. She smiled so hard that her cheeks started hurting. Tears in her eyes she saw you as you stood there in front of her, she wanted to kiss you so badly.
Clint was the one leading the wedding because Wanda insisted as he was the closest father figure to her and she loved him so dearly. "Wanda and y/n my two beautiful friends and my family members. I have known y/n ever since she was a little girl, she was always so compassionate and funny" he pauses and light laugh "So funny actually. She was always goofing around and her jokes oh my God I cannot forget them she was always joking about something or someone she would make me laugh in the darkest of times" he paused again looked at you and smiled. "let me tell you, guys, something, one time when y/n was wearing a pillow on her head as a wedding veil came up to me, she was only five at time. and asked me "Uncle Clint!!!! do I look good???" and gave me a twirl and haha I said "ofc you do sweetheart, who's your groom?" and she looked at me and rolled her eyes "Silly I don't have a groom I'm marrying my doll cause I love her the most" and then she forced me by giving me those pretty pleading eyes that still work to this day to come to her wedding and I went and now here I am standing in between y/n and Wanda at their actual wedding" with now tears in his eyes he looked at Wanda
"Wanda.. Oh, I've known Wanda for more than 10 years now I saw her grow up into this powerful beautiful woman she is now, I remember when she came up to me asking me if she should ask y/n out I told her whatever was in her heart she should just put it out, I saw there relationship grow stronger and stronger each day. They are the most for each other as one could be, I remember when Wanda asked me how she should propose to y/n I told her the same thing again that she should do whatever is in her heart, Wanda my pretty Wanda I love you and I'm so proud of you for the women you have become, my heart breaks into millions when I think about how both of you are not so little anymore but it screams in joy when I see you two together so in love with each other." that was it he stopped talking, he was softly sobbing now so are many of our friends and family members.
He speaks again after some silence clearing his throat, "We are gathered here today to witness the sacred union of Wanda Maximoff and Y/n Y/l/n We stand here to honor and celebrate the love shared between these two people, as they come together to start their new life with a solemn vow, surrounded by their closest family and friends"
He turned to Wanda and said "Repeat after me.
I, Wanda take you, Y/n, to be my wife. I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal, but as my closest friend. I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you." and as Wanda did he looked at you next and said "Repeat after me.
I, Y/n take you, Wanda, to be my wife. I promise that from this day forward I will regard you not only as my equal, but as my closest friend. I promise to comfort you in sickness and in health. I promise to demonstrate my commitment to you through love, laughter, and compassion. I love you." "It's time for the vows," he says softly
You begin first "Wanda, darling, for so long, I wondered if I would ever find my love, my soulmate. Then four years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort, and instead, I found everything that Iâd ever been looking for my whole life. And now, here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you â my love, my soulmate, my friend⊠Unless you donât want to.â
Wanda started tearing up but holding her composure she began, "Y/n, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, itâs ok, because I will always love you. You were the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with."
(An: these vows are definitely not stolen from friends)
"just to be sure" he laughs "Do each of you take the other to be your lawful wedded spouse?â
Wanda and you say together with eagerness "I do".
After exchanging the rings he speaks again,
"By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss" and took a step back as Wanda eagerly came forward and kissed me softly and whispered "oh I've been waiting all day for this" making you laugh and tear up.
"Ladies and Gentleman, for those of you who have come to witness this union, it is my pleasure to present the newly united couple, Y/N and WANDA Maximoff."
there's that. you and Wanda were married. Actually married. the rest of the evening went great everyone danced laughed cried.
____________________________________________________________
(wedding night)
Your flight was tomorrow in evening so you and Wanda had the whole night to yourself, as you sat there on the bed taking off your jewelry Wanda came from the back rubbing your shoulders you instantly relaxed in her touch
She bent down so she could whisper in your ear softly "I want to fuck you in this dress" You could hear the smirk on her face, and as you hesitantly looked at her she immediately knew what you meant "I promise I'll be gentle no damage would be done to that dress" Wanda knew how much you loved that dress so she wouldn't dare ruining it
"I bought this just for tonight," she says holding a Scarlett strap out in her hand, it was just perfect not too big or too small
"lay down" she whispers in your ear and you did, she folds your dress to your waist and takes off your underwear Wanda was only in her undergarments she took them off and fastened the harness around her as she stood between your legs she caressed your legs and align the strap to your opening slowly entering you while maintaining eye contact as she watched your face confronted in pleasure, only light moans coming out of your mouth
you underestimated the size, it wasn't too thick but it was long. When Wanda was fully in she gave you a moment to get used to the strap
Her fingers entwined with yours, your foreheads touching lightly she thrusts inside you, slowly but hard, every thrusting was pulling a moan out of you as Wanda gasped in your ear throwing praises here and there
"you're doing so good princess"
"my pretty wife"
"oh baby you look so pretty like that"
she didn't stop the praises her thrusts only speeding up, not too fast just perfect sending you into ecstasy, her strap hit your g spot in every thrust "Wanda I'm cumming!!" without warning you came all over her strap.
"Can you give me one more doll? please?" looking at her pleading eyes you weakly nodded as Wanda gently fucks you through your orgasm, kissing your neck so softly she said "My wife only mine" She gasps her orgasm reaching her soon "All mine! cum with me baby," she says as she let out a moan collapsing over you, making sure not to put all her weight on you, you came soon after.
As you both came down from your high Wanda tried to get up but your arms stopped her "Noo please don't go" she cupped your face and said "I'll just be a minute princess" She got and undid the harness and threw it down, took your dress off softly and cleaned you up and herself
"here take some water baby" She gave you and glass of water and you drank as she took the wedding dress to the closet, peaking her head out from the closet she asked, "do you wanna sleep with clothes on or off doll?" "off please" you replied softly yawning
Wanda nodded and got out of the closet, as you made someplace in the bed for her she got under the cover immediately holding you, you lay your head on her chest clutching her like a koala
Wanda started caressing your back "Goodnight my beautiful wife", you smiled and muttered something out hoping Wanda would understand.
And she did. She always does.
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A Second Chance
pairing: Aemond x Reader
request: Hello! Sorry to bother you but i have a little idea that came from all the reblogs you recently made! basically Aemond is away so Alicent requests that reader! Comes back after a long time to the red keep because she wants to see her boy happy đ„ș of course its just a simple start but would love to see nice Alicent helping his baby ~ anonymous
warnings: none! this has the tiniest amount of angst but mostly fluff
word count: 1.4k
note: loved this, loved writing emotional Aemond & your messages are NEVER ever a bother! đ
masterlist
âI was ever so sorry to hear of the death of your lord husband, Lady (Y/N),â Alicent said, giving you a look full of a motherâs compassion, âand so unfortunate he should leave you so quickly after you wed.â
You take a sip from your cup. The Queen had invited you to the capital and you had been delighted to return. Ever since you arrived your eyes had been searching for Aemond.
You had both left on such harsh terms those several years ago when your betrothal had been announced. You had been missing him for years, feeling as though a very piece of your own heart had been missing.Â
âThank you, your grace,â you tell her, speaking softly.
Your lord husband had been a kind man. Married to you as an alliance for your families and that was all. He was nearly twice your age, but he had been sweet to you.Â
âMy son has missed your presence,â Alicent tells you.Â
âI was hoping to see the prince,â you said, heart rate increasing.Â
Alicent nods, looking off to the side. Your smile falters as the realization washes over you at her hesitant glance.
âAemond does not know I am here,â you tell her. It is a statement, not a question.Â
Alicent struggles to keep the smile on her face. She brought her hand to yours, squeezing it gently.Â
âI thought perhaps we shall surprise him,â she says softly.
âI do not think he wishes to see me,â you tell her, and feel a slash of pain in your heart. The wound is still fresh, though the years had passed.Â
âTell them not to let me go,â you had begged him, chasing him down an empty corridor.Â
The one-eyed prince had stopped his long strides turning to face you.Â
âTell them you wish to marry me,â you had begged.
Aemond had been silent for many moments.Â
âI cannot tell them what is not true.â
You remembered it as though it had happened yesterday. The cold look in his eye, so unlike that of which he usually awarded you. None of the kindness you had grown to love.Â
âHe does,â Alicent insists, âhe has been terribly lonely these past years. Growing more resentful each day. I worry about him.â
In truth, you had never stopped thinking of Aemond. He plagued your thoughts at every moment.Â
You blink away the tears that gather in your eyes.
âHe shall be returning soon,â Alicent tells you, âjoin us for supper tonight, please.â
Her thumb continues to stroke the back of your hand, a hopeful look is in her eyes. You nod in agreement.Â
Aemond remembered watching you go, the way your eyes had filled with tears. The look of betrayal on your face. That most of all. That has haunted most of his days since your departure.Â
In truth, he had wished to marry you. But duty is often in conflict with matters of the heart. And duty demanded he remained unwed.Â
And though it pained him to do so, he had to let you go.Â
Aemond walks quickly to his chambers, eager to bathe and dress before joining his mother for dinner. The days have been long, and there is no feeling like that of being home.Â
He hisses as he lowers himself into the tub, the hot water nipping at his pale skin. Aemond wishes to be done quickly, he doesnât like being alone with his thoughts. He finds himself constantly training, reading, researching, and doing anything to distract himself from the constant thoughts that plague him.
You.Â
It has been years since he last saw you since you last spoke. He supposed you must have several children by now. This did not make him sad, he hoped you had children to brighten your life.Â
Aemond readied himself before making his way to his motherâs chambers. It was to be a small affair for supper that evening, as Aegon was entertaining some guests from the west.Â
âAemond,â Alicent said, as he arrived. She embraced her son whom she had not seen in several months.Â
âIt is good to see you, mother,â he said.
âI have missed you,â she told him, âI have invited a guest for dinner..â
âA guest?â Aemond questions, as the door opens.Â
He turns and his breath catches in his throat as he sees you in the doorway. Your eyes are wide as you take him in. Aemond looks good, taller perhaps if that is possible. Leaner, the entirety of him is ropey muscles. He is handsome as ever, eyepatch securely covering his ruined eye. Aemondâs lips part.
âHello Aemond,â you say softly smiling.Â
âLady (Y/N) has agreed to join us for supper, isnât that lovely?â Alicent says, placing a hand on her sonâs arm.Â
Aemond jerks his head in a nod causing Alicent to smile.Â
âI shall be but a moment,â she says, starting toward the door. She stops to caress your cheek, before leaving the room, the door clicking shut behind her.Â
You inhale a shaky breath.Â
âAre you well?â you ask as Aemond continues to stare, a rather innocent expression on his normally harsh face.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â he asks, his voice hoarse. You wet your lips wringing your hands together.Â
âYour mother invited me to the capital,â you tell him, âI did not know you had no part in the invitation.â
âMy mother?â Aemond said, shaking his head. Of course, his mother. The hopeless romantic who always wanted more for her children than the hand she had been dealt. You nod.Â
âShe wished to offer her condolences,â you continue, walking towards the fireplace. You reach for a grape that lays on a golden tray. Aemondâs brow furrows.
âCondolences?â he asks, watching you pop the grape into your mouth. You chuckle.
âShall you speak in questions all evening, my prince?â you tease before answering his question.
âMy late husband has passed,â you inform him. A moment of pause lingers between you.Â
âI am sorry to hear that,â Aemond says, âI do hope your children are weathering alright?â
You meet his eye, a blush beginning to creep onto your cheeks. Aemond wishes he could place his hands upon your cheeks, to feel the burning that resides underneath your smooth flesh.Â
âWe were not blessed with children,â you tell him, âmy lord husband was not well, for the majority of our marriage.â
âDid he treat you well?â Aemond asks, voice turning to a tone of concern.
âOh yes,â you assure him, âyes, he was very kind to me. But-â
You find yourself struggling to speak, struggling to find the right words.
âHe did not love me,â you decide, âhe did not desire me. It was a quiet marriage.â
Aemond is watching you carefully. How foolish he had been to let you slip from his fingers. The gods are good, they must be repaying him for his suffering in some way by returning you to him. By offering him a second chance.Â
âI would,â Aemond says softly.
He walks over to you until he stands directly before you.Â
âI would love you, I would desire you,â he tells you, âI do, I always have.â
Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head.Â
âYou donât have to say that-â
âI do, and I was a fool,â he continues, taking your hands in his, âI was a fool to let you leave when I loved you. I have loved you and continue to love you.â
The tears are freely flowing down your cheeks, dripping past your chin and onto the stone floor.
âThere has not been a day that goes by where I do not think of you,â he continues, âthere is not a corner of this world I could fly to where I did not see your face. In every passerby, in the light of the moon. You are everywhere. You are all-consuming.â
âAemond,â you beg, not sure exactly if you wish him to stop or keep speaking.Â
âI love you,â he insists, fingers digging into your waist.Â
You bring your hands to his chest, pulling him towards you and connecting your mouths. The kiss is desperate and passionate, making up for the lost time. Aemond can feel the coolness from your tears caressing his face, and you start to laugh against his mouth.Â
He kisses you again and again, swallowing the happy laughter that pours from your sweet lips.Â
Queen Alicent stands outside the room, back pressed against the wood of the door, listening to your whispers, and laughter. She places a hand against her heart and closes her eyes, happy that her son has found the love he so longed for.Â
note: hope you enjoyed I love me a good love confession, especially from our fave one-eyed prince đ„č
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YOU ARE IN LOVE
Summary: Confessions of love lead to a place you never thought youâd be.
Pairings: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader
Word count: 6.6kish
Warnings: Idiots to lovers, SMUT (over 3k of it), oral sex (fem!receiving), raw sex, cream pie, multiple orgasms, undertones of Dom!Draco, pretty much making love
A/N: hi!!!! Omg, itâs finally here! Yay!! Hereâs PART 4 of my Heather series. đ„ș my baby!! Iâm so happy for this part. Hopefully you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think at the end!! I love them so much đđ please read the first three parts before this one (linked below) Song for this fic: âYou are in loveâ by Taylor Swift
Also hit 400 followers recently đ„șđ«¶đ» thank you!!
All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other side nor this one.
I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
The cold November chill felt welcomed on your skin as you stood in the Astronomy tower. You overlooked Hogwarts with a smile, knowing this is the last Thanksgiving youâd ever spend here, but you didnât feel sad right now.Â
You felt grateful for your experience here because not many were that lucky. You had stayed for Thanksgiving break once back in your second year and it was magical. So beautiful. You loved it. Draco had stayed with you then. He never left you alone.Â
But you were alone now. You knew he was back at the Malfoy manor. You watched him leave to catch the train just days ago. You pretended to forget something at the castle as your friends went to the train, but it was just an excuse so nobody would know that you were staying for the holiday.Â
You didnât want Draco finding out. You wanted to be alone.Â
You slowly let your fingers run along the railing, the cold metal against your warm skin making you shiver slightly, and you tug your orange sweater over your palms to warm you up again.Â
Today was Thanksgiving. One of your favorite holidays. You mostly enjoyed it because of the food. But truthfully, who didnât?Â
You were going to miss your mom's homemade Thanksgiving dinner. Especially the apple pie you and your dad always made for the holiday. But Hogwarts is going to have to make do. Youâre sure they wonât disappoint. They never do.Â
You had noticed there were a bit more students that had decided to stay. You were surprised to see so many students in your class. They probably wanted to enjoy their last Thanksgiving here as a student at Hogwarts. You were surprisingly happy to have chosen to stay.Â
You start making your way down to the Great Hall for Thanksgiving dinner. Your belly is begging for food already. You only drank a warm cup of hot chocolate this morning because you loved to wait to eat until dinner time. That way you had more room for the feast.Â
You had chosen to dress up today either way. You had paired your orange oversized sweater with a black skirt, it was one of those fitted ones that you really liked, black sheer leggings, and your pair of black booties. It was simple, but you felt pretty.Â
You had even applied some makeup and styled your hair to your own liking. You even managed to find your cute pair of thanksgiving earrings. They were two little pumpkin pies. You thought it was hilarious when your mom gifted them to you when you were a kid. Youâve worn them every year since.Â
You enter the Great Hall with a smile on your face, the different foods filling your space, you inhale deeply, almost moaning at the thought of eating already, and look around to see where you can sit.Â
You spot the Golden Trio sitting down at the Gryffindor table. Talking amongst themselves enthusiastically and laughing. You noticed all the different students from different houses had all gathered at the same table. You smiled at that and made your way to Harry.
Ron notices you first, his elbow shoving Harry suddenly, Harry whimpering an âOw!â He's about to shove Ron when Ron raises his eyebrows towards you, youâre still smiling as you walk towards them. Harry does the same thing he always does when he sees you.Â
He sits up straighter, fixes his glasses, and smiles at you.Â
âHi, Harry!â You say as you reach them, standing next to Hermoine. Who has an empty seat next to her. She looks up at you, smiling, they all welcome you, âIs this seat taken?âÂ
âNo, of course not!â Harry blubbers out with a rush.Â
Ron and Hermoine snicker at his reaction, Hermoine places her hand on your forearm, âSit, Y/N. Youâre more than welcomed to join us.âÂ
You beam at her as you sit next to her. You both fall into conversation, completely forgetting about Ron and Harry, and gush about different topics. It was so incredibly easy to talk to Hermoine. Even Ron and Harry.Â
They had even admitted to you a couple days ago that they were scared of you because of your friendship with Draco. You laughed loudly when they told you and teased them about it. You had even told them that Draco only puts on a front at them, but was truthfully a nice person. They were hesitant to believe you, but you didnât force your words at them.Â
Ron watches you and Hermoine with wide eyes, he looks at Harry, who looks about the same, âItâs like we donât even exist, mate.â Harry hums in agreement.Â
Soon enough, the long table is filled with the Thanksgiving feast.Â
You gawk at the food in front of you. All the classics. The delicious looking turkey, the honey glazed pineapple ham, sweet potato casserole with brown butter on top, extra cheesy Mac and cheese, mash potatoes, corn casserole, and everything pumpkin flavored.Â
Pumpkin pie, pumpkin juice, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin topping. It was overwhelming.Â
You noticed your favorite butterbeer cookies eyeing you already. You reached over to grab some before they finished.Â
You all start digging into the food, you enjoy a little bit of everything until you feel satisfied.Â
The talks and laughter around you never stops. You feel happy with a belly full of food and a mouth filled with laughter.Â
The Great Hall starts emptying slowly and you feel someone sit down next to you, you turn with a smile, and it doesnât falter when you see Cedric. Dressed in his favorite Hufflepuff sweater and scarf combo along with a dazzling smile.Â
You turn to face him, tilting your head on your arm, âHi!âÂ
âHi,â he chuckles out with crinkling eyes.Â
You were happy that thankfully Cedric was okay with being only friends with you. It was a slightly awkward conversation the next night after what had happened she tween you two. Or what had almost happened.Â
He had caught you on your way back to the Slytherin quarters, you had both gone to sit at one of the benches in the hall, and spoke openly about the past events.Â
You apologized profusely about what had happened and he stopped you midway so he could apologize. He repeatedly asked you if you had felt he had taken advantage of you. With careful reassurance that you had consented to what had happened, every step of the way, and explained to him how you didnât think it was fair to either of you to pursue something when your heart was truthfully with someone else.Â
He didnât ask who, but you knew that he knew.Â
âHow are you doing?â You ask him, nibbling on a butterbeer cookie.Â
âIâm doing alright, are those good?â He questions curiously, you had him a piece, and he chews on it and rolls his eyes back, âBloody brilliant, yeah?âÂ
âIndeed,â you hum back with a chuckle.Â
Easy conversation flows between you two about the end of the semester and how lovely it is to be here for the Holidays. You both agreed that it was the right choice to stay here and that maybe youâd both stay again for Christmas. You had never stayed for Christmas and the Trio said they were going to stay as well.Â
âIâm staying then,â you state happily, sipping on your pumpkin juice, and laughing at Ronâs comments to Hermione about something ridiculous.Â
Hermoine nudges you suddenly, you look at her confused, her face falling as sheâs looking towards the Great Hall double doors, and you turn quickly to see whatâs sheâs looking at.Â
You feel your heart drop to your stomach when you see Draco standing there. Heâs wearing his sweater, your favorite one, black slacks, and you notice his hair is loose and framing his forehead in curls.Â
His eyes are already on you.Â
You furr your eyebrows in confusion as you wonder what heâs doing here. You look around at your friends, who are looking at you in confusion, only knowing the bare minimum of what you had told them. But they knew something was going on between you two.Â
âExcuse me,â you say quickly, grabbing your extra butterbeer cookies, and walk towards Draco.Â
He waits for you at the entrance and immediately follows you as you walk out.Â
You stop in the empty hallway, âWhat are you doing here?â You question him as you try to keep your voice steady.Â
You fumble with the cookies in your hand, not wanting to look up at him, and he sighs deeply above you.Â
âMy mother told me you were spending the holiday here. Why didnât you tell me? You couldâve come home with me.âÂ
You huff, âNo, I couldnt.âÂ
âWhy not? Because weâre in a fight?â Dracoâs tone is not harsh, but in disbelief. You avoid his gaze and look to the side.Â
âIt doesnât matter if weâre in a fight. Youâre my best friend and I donât want you to be alone on one of your favorite holidays.âÂ
âIâm not aloneâŠIâm with my friends,â you reply quickly, brushing your hair away from your face, and trying to keep your heart from racing.Â
âAnd what am I?âÂ
You finally look up at him when he says that. His gray eyes peering at you, his lips turned down into a frown, and he waits for your reply. You notice his fingertips are itching to grab your wrists. His hands go into tight fists to keep them to himself.Â
Your heart skips a beat because you miss him so much. Itâs only been over a week that youâve spoken to him. Been in his bed.Â
But it feels like a lifetime and itâs slowly killing you.Â
You tilt your head to the side as you watch him, the corners of your lips frowning, your eyes taking him in, âYouâre⊠youâre my Draco.âÂ
You both start casually walking down the hall, you both on instinct go towards the peach three in the courtyard, and you both sit down on the bench under the tree.
You shiver slightly as the cold wind brushes against your warm cheeks and Draco silently curses at himself for not bringing a coat with him to the Great Hall.Â
You turn to face him, still holding your cookies in your hands, and look at him. Your heart feels heavy as you both stare at each other.Â
His eyes look into yours with such sadness in them that it makes you want to curl into a ball and weep. You feel yourself starting to shake slightly because of how nervous you feel.Â
Is this the end? The real end between you two?Â
âHey,â his voice startles you, soft and sweet, his hands finally inch towards you, and he takes your free one into his warm palms. His big hand covering yours completely.Â
âWhy are you shaking? Itâs just me,â he whispers as he pushes a stray hair away from your face, his thumb caressing your cheek slightly, you feel yourself flush underneath his gaze, and you shuffle on the bench.Â
âI feel this way because of you,â you admit, not breaking eye contact with him.Â
âIâŠâ Draco starts to say, but quickly stops talking when he notices a couple people walking around the halls and chatting in the corridor as well.Â
He doesnât let go of your hand, âWe should go somewhere more private.âÂ
âLike where?â
He opens his mouth, but closes it. His jaw locks, his eyes slowly avert from yours, but then he looks back. Your eyebrows raise in confusion as you wait for him to speak.
âWhat about my room?â His voice filled with uncertainty.Â
You still. You havenât set foot in his room since the argument you last had in there. You hadnât even bothered to go and get your things that you had left there. You hadnât wanted to face him yet.Â
A part of you wants to go back in there. You miss the warmth and comfort you felt there.Â
Lately, all youâve felt is loneliness as you sleep alone every night in the empty bed in your big room.Â
The emptiness of his side next to you never left your mind. You find yourself nodding, he gets up, you follow, and he leads you towards his room.Â
He stops in front of the door after walking up the steps, you behind him, and he whispers his password to the painting in front of the door.Â
He whispers your favorite spell.
Your heart tugs a bit that he didnât change it. You know it hasnât been that long, but itâs been the longest time the both of you have gone without each other.Â
He opens the door and the sweet smell of apples mixed with cinnamon and vanilla fills your senses. You let your eyes close slightly, inhaling the mesmerizing scent, and you follow him inside his room.Â
He walks around the room and you stand near the door, feeling a bit awkward, not knowing what to do anymore in this room, and you watch him.Â
He peers at you as he sits in his emerald green loveseat, he gestures to the matching chair in the corner of the room, and you start walking towards it. You glance around the room, taking notice that all your belongings are still in the same place, and you wish they werenât.Â
You secretly wish he had already packed up your belongings into a box to make this easier. You sit down and set your cookies onto the table in between you two.Â
âDo you want some tea or coffee?â He asks as heâs about to stand up to make some.Â
âNo, itâs okay.âÂ
He pauses and sits back down. He turns his body towards you, his leg bouncing up and down, and he lets out a deep sigh.Â
A couple minutes pass with you both sitting in silence. You gulp down your nerves and open your mouth to speak.Â
âDraco?â You ask.Â
Your voice fills his ears like sweet honey. âYes?âÂ
âWhy am I here?â You question him as you let out a sigh.Â
âIâm a coward,â he blurts out, turning his face to look at you, you frown.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âI am a coward. Draco Malfoy is a coward.âÂ
You adjust yourself into your seat, placing one leg underneath your bottom, and fully face him.
âDraco,â you say, reaching over to him and taking his hand in both of yours. âWhat are you talking about?âÂ
His hand grips yours, âThe last time you were here⊠You, uh, you asked me if I ever thought about doing.. what we do⊠with, umm, someone else.â Your eyes furr because Draco is fumbling with his words and he never does.Â
âI remember,â you tell him, a pang in your chest when you remember what he said after you asked him that last time.Â
âWell.. I.. I, uh, I lied to you.âÂ
You sit up straight. His eyes racing over your face, taking in your different expressions, âI know I insinuated that I thought about doing that with Heather, but I lied. Iâve never thought about doing what we do with anybody else. Ever.âÂ
You scoff at him, not believing him, âWhat are you going off about, Draco? Youâve fancied Heather since the day you met her.â You try to pull your hand out of his, but he grips onto it.
âI told you that day that I never thought about doing this with someone else and I meant it. I know I said I fancied Heather, but I swear.. I⊠I never have.â
âYou lied to me?â You say in disbelief. A part of you wanting to be happy that he never fancied her, but why did he lie to you?
âI⊠I did.âÂ
âWhy? What are you saying?â You pull your hand out of his with force, standing up quickly and starting to pace around the room, as the memories of that conversation fill your mind.Â
Draco sits up in the loveseat, facing you, and pouting.Â
âI asked you if you felt anything for me! I asked you if I was more than just your friend! You didnât say anything! I gave you a chance to say anything, to say something, and you bloody stayed quiet! You never said anything! And then Iâm with Cedric that night and you burst into his room, demanding I go with you, and for what? For you to never say anything else to me? Then we didn't talk for almost a week and now⊠now⊠now you want to say something? Why?âÂ
You continue to pace the room, confusion filling you, and you stop in front of him. Hands on your hips, chest raising angrily, and you watch him.Â
He doesnât say anything, biting the skin around his fingernails, and he bites his lower lip with nerves.Â
âWhatâs going on, Draco? Youâre confusing me,â you cry out at him.
âI am a coward that didnât see what was in front of him until it was too late,â he stands up, towering over you, taking his hands in his, and you both look into each otherâs eyes.Â
âI am in love with you,â he confesses in a whisper. You suck in a gasp, your world stills at his words, and you start shaking your head.Â
You frown deeply, âStop it.âÂ
Draco grips your hands in his tightly, âThis⊠this thing between us started in fifth year.. we were barely fifteen years old. We both decided to do this, but a part of me only agreed because I wanted you to want me the same way Iâve always wanted you,â you mouth parts in shock, âA part of me has always loved you. I⊠I think Iâve always known that I have, but Iâve always been a coward at admitting it to myself. That was almost four years ago next year⊠And⊠my-my love for you has only grown.âÂ
You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you stare up at him, trying your hardest to wrap your mind around his words, and you let the tears fall down your cheeks.Â
âPlease, donât cry,â he whispers as his thumb wipes away your tears gently.Â
Your lips quiver, âI⊠Iâm having a hard time believing you, Draco.â Your confession stuns him, he looks at you with confusion.Â
âWh-what?â His voice is shaky.Â
âWhat about Heather?âÂ
His eyes darted away from your face for a second, âI⊠I, um, I made it up.â
âYou what?â You feel different emotions filling your body. Confusion at his confession. Anger that he lied to you. Happiness because he feels the same way. Guilt for what you had done with Cedric.Â
âI didnât lie when I said I met Heather because of my mom in the summer. But Iâve never felt anything towards her. Ever. I only said that to you because I was hoping to make you jealous,â another confession slips his lips.Â
âTo⊠make me jealous?â You repeat his words, feeling distress.Â
He nods, his body language showing you heâs ashamed of his actions, and he sighs. âI⊠I know my actions are confusing you.. and I know you might need some time, butâŠâ he pauses and his palms cup your face gently, âI am in love with you.âÂ
Your breathing is picking up, youâre looking at him in shock, everything youâve ever wanted to hear⊠heâs saying it right now.Â
âIâm so in love with you that I was deeply afraid of letting you know because of the fear that you didnât feel the same way about me. But if I would have just looked deeper⊠I would have seen and heard what you were trying to tell meâŠâÂ
âAnd what was that?â You whisper out, your hands slowly moving to palm his hands on your face.Â
âThat youâre in love with me too,â he pleads, voice wavering with hope.Â
âDraco,â you whisper, tears falling down your cheeks, closing your eyes as you let a whimper fall out between your lips.Â
âDo you not believe me?â He questions, hurt filling the room.Â
You sniff as you lean your face into his palms, crying out, âCan you blame me?âÂ
Before you know it, you feel Dracoâs hands leaving your face, you look for his hands, and heâs kneeling in front of you.Â
âWhat? Draco, what are you doing?âÂ
He holds your hands in his, his knees touching the floor, he lets out a quiet cry.Â
Your heart breaks at hearing him cry.Â
âY/NâŠâ he begins, âIts always been you.â He looks up at you with tears in his eyes, âI have always loved you, never anybody else. I swear it. I have never once felt the way I feel for you for anybody else. Never.âÂ
He grips your hands in his, kissing the palms of your wrists, âYou are the only one Iâm ever going to want.â His voice is shaking, âItâs you who I want next to me. Warming my bed, forever. Youâre everything I want. Everything!âÂ
You both are staring at each other, crying together, he continues, âI know Iâm a bloody fucking idiot for not saying this sooner and I know itâs hard to believe me right now after everything⊠but Iâm so in love with you that merely thinking about anybody else⊠It sickens me. You are the only person that matters to me. Youâre the only one I see in my future.âÂ
You fall to your knees in front of him, your arms wrapping around his neck, his hands gripping your waist so your knees donât hit the floor as he tugs you into him, and you cry.Â
âDraco, IâŠâ your lips quiver, âIâm so sorry for what I did with Cedric. I⊠I thought you didnât feel the same way and I just wanted to forget about you.âÂ
Draco shakes his head rapidly, âDonât apologize. You did nothing wrong. I was a coward and you were just trying to move on from my bloody dumbass.âÂ
You let out a giggle at his words, you wipe his tears away from his face as he wipes away yours, âIâm in love with you, too.â You confess, your heart rate accelerating at saying those words out loud. Finally.Â
His eyes lighten up at your words.Â
âIâve always loved you. Iâve loved you for as long as I can remember. It has been hell without you since our last argument and I never want to go through that again.â You lay your head on his shoulder, sniffing and whimpering into him, and he holds you in his arms tightly.Â
âIt wonât ever happen again, I swear.âÂ
âI love you,â he whispers into your ear as his hands tangle into your hair. You scruff your head onto his shoulders, taking him in, and breathing in his warm scent all around you.Â
You both lean out, his forehead on yours, your eyes are closed, you can feel his heartbeat against you, and his breathing increasing slightly.Â
One of his hands grasp your neck, you lean up to look at him, his eyes wander your face and land on your lips. Your hands are holding onto his biceps as one of his free arms wraps around your waist, gently and with hesitance. As if heâs scared to touch you.Â
âIâve missed you terribly, my love.âÂ
You lick your lips, âI missed you more.â You let your gaze stop on his lips, he parts them open, and you both start leaning into each other.Â
You met in the middle, your lips centimeters apart, you can smell his mint breathe, and you shiver at being this close to him again.Â
âDraco,â you whisper out as you close your eyes, letting your body melt into his, and he pulls you into his space with his arms.Â
His lips touch yours gently, you whimper at the feeling as fire erupts in your belly at the contact, goosebumps breaking out over your skin, and your eyes flutter closed.Â
You move your arms to wrap around his neck as your lips move against his, itâs as if youâve never been apart, and you feel fuzzy like you always do when you kiss him. You feel your body already reacting to his touch and you cry out for him.Â
Dracoâs tongue slowly lines your bottom lip, you part your mouth open for him, and your tongues meet in the middle. You both moan simultaneously, one of his hands gripping your waist, the other on the back of your neck, and you grip your arms together around him. You lean up to kiss him harder and he bites your bottom lip which causes you to whine loudly.Â
You pull away from him, his mouth sucking on your lip, and you groan against him. His hands move towards the end of your sweater, you feel him hesitate, and you look at him with a small smile. Feeling your skin flushed.Â
âI trust you,â you breathe out, his eyes flutter, and he smiles sweetly at you. He wraps his lips around yours once more, his hands inch underneath your sweater, and your skin feels as if itâs on fire. His big warm hands on your skin making your belly erupt with butterflies.Â
âGod, Iâve missed your skin.â He starts to kiss down your neck with big open mouthed kisses, leaving love bites down as he goes, his eyes looking up at you with pleasure, and you moan with every kiss. You grind your hips against his, your hands clinging onto his shoulders, and you pull away from him.Â
You stand up quickly, pulling him up with you, and you both stand in front of each other.Â
You take one step back, letting yourself take him in, the big dent in his slacks making your mouth water, and you reach down to tug off your sweater.Â
You throw it to the side, letting him look at your chest, your breasts are covered with a lacy black bra, and you're both breathing heavily. You kick off your boots with ease, he follows your lead by tugging off his sweater, and unbuckling his belt.Â
You both hold eye contact as you lower down your skirt and him his slacks. You lick your lips once you see him in only his tight black briefs, your mouth feeling dry when he palms himself to try and relieve the pressure heâs feeling, he hisses at his own touch, you tighten your legs together for a second to slow down the throbbing you feel, and you slide your hands into your sheer leggings.Â
You bend down slowly to pull them off your legs and you stand in front of him, holding the lace of your panties in between your fingers.Â
Draco's eyes are taking you in, every single inch of you, and you donât feel insecure under his stare. You missed the way he ate you up with his eyes, heâs biting his lips as his eyes go down to your breasts, your navel, and land on your most private area.Â
You feel yourself wet with anticipation and want.Â
âLay down,â Draco orders, chills run down your spine at his tone, and your body follows before your mind can. You lay down on the bed, with your arms underneath you to hold you up, and Draco moves to hover over your body.Â
You feel him against your thigh, hard, and you moan when he kisses your neck.Â
His arms are caging you underneath him, âCan I touch you, baby?âÂ
You nod at him as you reach up to kiss his lips, slowly.Â
His hand slips underneath your torso, he unclips your bra, you let it fall over your shoulders, pulling it off your chest, and his mouth immediately meets with your already perked nipples.Â
You gasp when his warm tongue laps on your nipples, he moves between both of your breasts, his hands cupping each one of them, the moans you let out only fuels him, and he starts moving down your stomach.Â
He lets his tongue swirl around your belly, licking your naval, and his hands grip onto your panties.Â
He swiftly pulls them down, he sits on his knees with your legs on his shoulders, he pulls off your panties, he kisses the inside of your ankle, and you open your legs for him.Â
Your hands grip your breasts as he admires you. Youâre soaking and he knows it.Â
He watches your glistening pussy underneath him, all for him, he moans at the sight, and curses.Â
âYouâre fucking beautiful,â he licks up your calf, bitting the inside of your thighs, and you whimper. His eyes are locked on yours, heâs making sure youâre watching him, and you bite your bottom lip when his mouth hovers over your pussy.Â
âDray,â you whisper, hitching your hips to him, and he tsks at you.Â
âAlways so inpatient,â he says with a chuckle, he lowers himself down flat, and spreads your legs wider. His mouth latches onto you, you moan out loudly when you feel his wet tongue on you, his tongue laying flat on your folds, then flicking up to your clit.Â
You gasp sharply, your breathing increasing with pleasure, and you tilt your head back as your hands grasp onto his almost white locks.Â
Your hips move with his mouth in sync, he licks and slurps your wetness, your clit throbbing against him, âIâve missed your taste, princess.â His breaths on you, you move your legs onto his shoulders, and pull him down to you again.Â
He continues to eat you up, he slowly lets a finger enter you, you cry out at the sensation, feeling yourself tight around his digit, and he works you open slowly.Â
He groans against your pussy as he feels how tight you are around him, he couldnât believe he had gone so long without you, and he inserts a second finger without warning.Â
You gasp again, feeling yourself burning up as he opens you, his fingers curling inside of you is something you hadnât realized how much you had missed, and Draco starts moving his hips into the mattress.Â
Your mouth parts with pants as his fingers find your sweet spot, âDraco!â You breathe out with a moan, his tongue lapping your wetness faster, his lips wrap around your clit, sucking on it, your legs are starting to shake as you near your orgasm, and he increases his speed inside of you.Â
His fingers keep fucking into you, his tongue licking you in the right places, and playing with your clit at all the right moments.Â
âYouâve always tasted amazing, sweetheart.â Draco quickly says to you before he continues doing what he does best.Â
You whine out, hands locked into his hair, your back arching up with pleasure, and he moves his free hand to play with your nipples. You tug onto his locks feeling yourself getting closer and knowing thatâs the signal you use to tell him.
Draco moans against your pussy, sending vibrations to your clit, and you feel your lower belly start contracting with your anticipating orgasm.Â
You feel tears in the corner of your eyes, your hips grinding against his mouth, and he curls his fingers inside of you one more time.Â
âDraco!â You yell out in pleasure as your orgasm takes over you suddenly. His mouth latches onto your clit, sucking on it, your entire body shaking with euphoria, and Draco only slurps up all your wetness.Â
Draco moans against your pussy, licking you slowly as you come down, your chest raising up and down to catch your breath, and Draco slowly pulls away from you. His fingers inside of you exit slowly and you bite your lip looking at him.Â
Dracoâs lips are swollen and puffy, he licks them and sucks his bottom lip, you reach down to him, pulling at him from his arms, and wrapping your lips around his. Moaning as you taste yourself on him. His hand wrapping underneath your neck, pulling your naked body into his, his warm-flushed skin feeling hot against you, and you both lean your foreheads together.Â
You look down at his still covered dick and look into his eyes again. He waits for you to say something, his gray eyes looking beautiful, and you reach down to shove off his briefs.Â
Draco moves one of his hands to help you, you feel his big dick hit your thighs, and you know heâs absolutely throbbing against you.Â
âI canât wait to feel you,â Draco whispers into your neck as he pumps himself quickly, you spread open your legs, placing your hands on his face, he aligns himself with you, you both stare into each otherâs eyes, he rubs his dick up and down your wetness, hitting your clit gently, you moan, and then you feel him at your entrance.Â
Youâre both breathing deeply, his dick entering your folds, and you bite your lower lip. One of his hands underneath your waist and the other holding your face. Itâs as if the world stills around you both. It feels as if itâs just you two at this moment. Just you two in this world and nobody else.Â
Draco's eyes never leave yours as he slowly moves himself to enter you, you gasp at the feeling, he moans at your tightness around him, and his tip moves deeper inside of you. Slowly.Â
You pull him closer into you, your pussy stretching around him, feeling so full once again, and you cry out to the missed feeling.Â
His lips connect on yours passionately, âAlways so fucking tight for me.âÂ
You nod at his words, kissing his lips, clenching around him, his mouth parting open on yours, you both letting out moans against each otherâs lips at the pleasure, and he starts moving his hips against yours.Â
âIâve missed you,â you whisper against his lips, licking the inside of his mouth, rocking your hips against his, your noses nudging together, and he lets out a whimper as he bottoms out inside of you.Â
âIâve missed you so.. so, fuck, so fucking much.â His lips kiss your face, down your chin, and your neck. Leaving sloppy kisses all over you.Â
He sucks on your collarbone, leaving more love bites because he knows you love to see them, and you roll your hips against his.Â
His tongue swirls around your breasts again, your bodies moving together in sync, sweat already coating your skin, and his thrusting gets deeper inside of you. You feel so full right now. Feeling so full of Draco.Â
Tears prick your eyes as you realize you are making love to Draco Malfoy. Heâs making love to you. Maybe this isnât the first time you make love, but itâs the first time you do after confessing your love to each other.Â
Draco notices your tears, he kisses them away without pausing his motions, and whispers sweet nothings into your ear.Â
âYouâre perfect, baby. So fucking good for me. Like always.âÂ
He praises you, licking your earlobe and sucking on it, you grip the back of his neck as his words consume you, and you let the tears fall down your cheeks slowly.Â
You moan out when he wraps one of his arms underneath your waist to hitch you up higher, his angle making his dick go in deeper, and all you feel is bliss. Blissfulness and love all around you. The room smells like vanilla, caramel, and sweet sex.Â
His lips wrap around yours once again, your pussy squeezing around him, wanting to make him feel you, and he moans into your mouth.Â
Draco swiftly switches your positions as heâs now sitting down on the bed, his legs parted open, you sitting down on him, hovering over his dick, and you align yourself again with him.Â
Draco holds your hips with his big hands, looking down at himself as you reach down for him, you hold him steady while you lower yourself down into him. Heâs watching himself enter your sweet pussy.
âFuck,â he whispers at you, admiring the view.Â
His hands grip your hips while you take him in, squeezing your walls around him, âFucking shit.â He curses as he watches you take him in deep.Â
You moan out, eyes rolling back at the sensation, setting your hands down on his shoulders to get a good rhythm, his hips moving into yours, and once you both get a good rhythm.. he pulls you into his lips once more.Â
You kiss him, mouth open, both moaning together, your hips grinding down on his, feeling him everywhere, heâs filling you up so nicely, your breasts against his chest, his arm wraps around your waist holding you, and his forehead is against yours.Â
In this position, you could feel him so deeply. Your walls contracting on his dick with every thrust, his moans as your clench only makes you wetter, and you both cry out at the feeling.Â
His free hand moves in between the space of your bodies, his fingers inch towards your clit, and you whimper when you feel him touch your sensitive bud.Â
âDraco,â you cry in a whisper, he slowly moves his fingers against you, kissing your neck, and you tilt your head back to let him.Â
âLook at me,â he says, your body immediately reacts to his words, and youâre facing him. You look fucked and he loves it. He finds the most pleasure in making you feel this way. He loves it.Â
You make eye contact with him, he licks his lips, and you donât look away. Youâre both panting together, bodies moving as if they are one, and you slowly start feeling the orgasm coming again.Â
âIâm close,â you whisper, âAre you?â You ask him because you wonât come again until he does. He knows this.Â
His hips are still meeting yours, soft and slow, but with so much passion. His dick hitting your soft spot inside of you, getting you closer to your release.Â
He nods, kissing you slowly, and he increases his speed on your clit. You both keep staring at each other, panting only getting louder, whines getting closer together, your legs are shaking slightly, his hips are moving faster and sloppier, and youâre waiting for him to reach his orgasm.Â
You feel your orgasm at the brink of taking over you when Draco orders, âCome for me.âÂ
Instincly, both of your hands intertwined together tightly.Â
You cry out as your orgasm takes over your body, shaking entirely, his hips moving into you as he releases into your pussy at the same time you do, and you pull him into a kiss to ride out both of your orgasms.Â
âI love you,â he whispers into your mouth, his hips still moving underneath you as you both ride out your orgasms, heâs filling you up deep with his cum, and you kiss him harder.Â
âI love you. I love you. I love you,â you repeat into his mouth, tears running down your face, and you feel tears running down his as well.Â
âItâs always been you. Always.â
You cry at his words, you both pull away from each other, foreheads leaning together, still connected, and feeling the post-orgasm bliss.Â
You look into his eyes, wondering how you could never tell how much he loved you, and you smile at him with tears in your eyes.Â
âYouâre my best friend,â he admits with a smile.Â
Heâs so in love with you.Â
You cry out a giggle, placing your hands on his face, kissing him slowly, âYouâre my best friend.â You never thought youâd be in this situation.
Finally.
You can feel it all around. All you feel is love. Love between you and Draco. Thereâs nothing but silence in this room, but you know he feels it too.Â
Youâre in love with Draco Malfoy.Â
And heâs in love with you.Â
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hi, angel <33 back with a request! also also no pressure at all ofc, if youâre not vibing with it just delete đ„°
just had a lil fluff idea, friends to lovers type beat. reader is on tour with the band, tagging along as a friend when sheâs out late one night with the guys, gets a lil drunk/tipsy and ends up in the wrong bunk. (Noahâs.) he didnât go out, he went to bed early. she doesnât realize and sheâs like âwhat are you doing in my bed?â
neither of them end up moving, and it doesnât help that sheâs a cuddly drunk. plus, he has a hard time saying no to you đ„șđ
anyway, do with that what you will đ
just friends
authors note: thank you so much lovely anon for requesting this! i enjoyed writing this and kind of want to take it further, but i'm not sure? :) anyways, i hope this is what you were looking for and you enjoy it <3 reminder that my requests are open! also, happy birthday noah :)
pairing: noah sebastian x reader
cross-posted on ao3
word count: 2.6k
cw/tags: fluff (like tooth-rotting fluff imo), friends to lovers, confessions/admission of feelings, drinking/reader is drunk, 18+ minors do not interact
"Easy there, girl."
You giggled as Nicholas helped you onto the bus, his hands pressed against the small of your back to keep you in place. You didn't even mean to drink this, usually not one to do so, but after Folio had challenged you to see how many shots you could take in under a minute you had to prove to him that it definitely was more than two. Now here you were, giggling obnoxiously to yourself as Nicholas guided you onto the bus, feet tripping over one another.
"Nick," You hum, eyes squinting around the bus. "Is the room spinning?"
"It very much is not. You," A finger pressed to your forehead, and you barely registered that Nicholas was now in front of you, a smile tugging at his lips, "are very much drunk, though. Come on, let's get you to bed. Go change and I'll get you some water and Tylenol for that headache that should be kicking in... now."
You go to retort, but there was already a dull pain in the back of your head causing you to wince. Your headaches came a lot earlier when you drank, not waiting until the morning to hit. You give him a grateful smile when he hands you your bag you kept above one of the seats up front, knowing your drunk ass could not get that even if you tried your hardest, and you pulled out a change of clothes and made your way back to the very small, and very tight bathroom.
You change, clumsily, and shuffle your way back to the front of the bus where Nicholas was waiting for you. You take the Tylenol and bottle of water gratefully, swallowing down the medicine in one go. You take a few more sips of water, realizing just how thirsty you were before deciding you were good to go, twisting the cap back on a tossing it onto the couch.
âGood?â You nod, giving Nicholas a thumbs up in response. He smiles. âAlright. Iâm gonna meet back up with guys, but Noahâs still here.â
Your brows furrow for a moment before you remember that Noah is still on the bus, opting out of going out with you and the crew after tonightâs show. You give Nicholas another nod as your response.
âIf you need anything, just wake Noah up. Heâll get you whatever you need.â He leans forward now, tipping his head down to press his lips to your forehead, and you smile brightly up at him when he pulls away. âAnd if he doesnât, hit âem upside the head and then call me.â
You laugh, âIâm sure Iâll be fine if I need anything. Iâm drunk, not injured.â
He rolls his eyes at you before you gently shove him away, pushing him towards the door. You say your goodbyes and watch the door shut behind Nicholas, leaving you to stand alone in the front of the bus all by yourself. You stay put for a second, the dizziness coming back before a yawn rips from you, and you decide to finally shuffle your way towards the bunks.
All you needed was your favorite blanket and your bunk, and that duck squishmallow Noah had gotten you a few months ago. Itâs quiet and you think Noahâs probably asleep already, and you yawn again as you finally reach your bunch, pulling the curtain back. You stare quizzically, though, at the man curled up in your bunk, and he stares right back, brows raised and just as confused.
"What the hell are you doing in my bunk?"
Noah blinks at you before pulling his airpods out, a brow raised. "What?"
"I said," You let go of the curtain to place a hand on your hip. "What the hell are you doing in my bunk, Davis?"
He stares at you for a beat before his lips slowly start curling into a smile.
"How drunk are you?" Noah squints at you.
"Why does that matter?" You argue, words slurring slightly. "I'm drunk and you're in my bunk. Two very obvious and true things. Now answer my question."
Noah snorts out a laugh. "You're right about one thing, you definitely are drunk. This is my bunk, though."
If you were sober, you would realize that yes, he was right. This was definitely not your bunk, yours was right below his, but for some reason in your drunk and hazy mind you were sure that this was your bunk. It looked just like it - just like the rest of the damn bunks on this bus - so it had to be true. You purse your lips, arms crossing over your chest.
âVery funny, Noah. Now get out, Iâm tired and want to go to sleep.â
âIâm not moving.â He says more firmly, eyes narrowing at you. âThis is my bunk, yours is over there.â
You turn as he points to the bunk across from his, the curtains drawn, and you squint. You look back at him, then back at the other bunk, and a voice in the back of your head is telling you that he was right. That was your bunk, not the one Noah was currently occupying. None of your stuff is there, your pillow isnât even there, but for some reason the drunk â and very stubborn â part of you was firm on your stance.
Noah was in your bunk.
You turn back to him, arms still crossed over your chest, and you square your shoulders. âIâm just gonna climb up if youâre not moving, dude. So, either get out or weâre cuddle buddies for the rest of the night.â
The two of you stare at each other for a moment and you see the exact where Noahâs shoulders drop, realizing thereâs no point in arguing with you because you are right (no, youâre not) and he sighs deeply, though you barely catch the slight curl of his lips.
âWhatever. Get in.â
You climb into the bunk beside Noah, slowly because you knew in your inebriated state that was a disaster waiting to happen, and the boy sighs to himself again, rolling onto his side and pressing his back against the wall to make room for you. You roll onto your side, back facing Noah, and press against him. It wasn't hard to do with how tight the space was, and you hummed to yourself when you finally got comfortable enough to relax, pulling the blanket up to your chin.
"Comfy?" You hear Noah murmur behind you.
You nod, "Very."
"Good."
You feel him shift behind you and if you had been sober, maybe the thought of being so close to him would have your skin blazing, but as your thoughts swirl, the only thing you can really think is how nice he feels pressed against you and how comfortable you are. His arm slings over your waist underneath the blanket and you swear he pulls you closer to him, if that was possible. A pleased sigh escapes him, the air fanning over the back of your neck. Now that has your body firing up, tiny goosebumps scattering across your skin. You melt against him.
"Why didn't you go out?" You ask through a yawn, eyes fluttering.
"Didn't want to."
"Why not? Everyone else did."
"Just wasn't in the mood," He mumbles behind you, his breath fanning against the back of your neck again. "Cold? You got goosebumps.â
You shake your head but feel Noah pull you closer anyways, sweatpant covered legs slipping in between yours. His limbs snake around yours and practically confines you, locking you against him. You're finding out that you like it way more than you probably should for a friend, but the drunken haze of your mind doesn't care too much about the technicalities of it all.Â
"Did you miss me?" You ask after another beat of silence, and you feel Noah's body tense behind you.
ââŠMaybe."
"Maybe?"
"Yeah, maybe."
You pause. "Is that why you're in my bunk right now? Because you missed me?"
Noah lets out a groan and you can't help but smirk, soft giggles escaping you. You feel his hand move down to your hip, pushing your shirt up slightly to pinch at your skin playfully and you squeal, squirming against him. You barely move because this six-three, giant man has you tight in his grasp, and you feel his chest move against your back with his laughter.Â
"Oh my fucking god," He grumbles into your hair, but you hear the smile in his voice. "Go to sleep. Please."
"I'm trying." You whine out, eyes slipping shut at the feeling of his hand now spreading out against your tummy, rubbing soothing circles there. "My head hurts too much."
"Did you take anything?"
"Mhm." You hum. "Nicholas gave me some Tylenol and water before he met back up with the guys."
"You drink all the water?"
You shrug. âMaybe like half?â
"Good enough for me." You feel the brush of his lips against the back of your neck and your eyes spring open, freezing in his hold. "You just need to relax. It should start kicking in soon."
You don't say anything, hyper-focused on the way his lips felt against your skin and the way you liked it too much. Even in your inebriated state you knew what that meant, and maybe you always had, but was just too scared to even think of the possibility. You and Noah were just friends... who sometimes teetered the line between friends and something else. It went unspoken for as long as you could remember, and you're not sure why you never said anything.Â
You don't know if it's the alcohol, or if you're finally sobering up, but your stomach turns at the thought. Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't he say anything? You feel dizzy again, and there's a voice in the back of your head trying to tell you to shut up and sleep but you've never been a good listener, even to yourself, and your lips move before you can think twice about it.Â
"Noah." Your voice is hushed and the feel of his fingers rubbing circles against your bare hip as your head spinning more than it probably should be right now.
"Hm?"Â
"You do realize friends don't do this, right?"
It takes him a moment to reply, "Do what?"
"This."
You feel more sober than you did five minutes prior. You're aware of everything - where you are, who you're with, who you're pressed against. Noah lets out a sigh and you feel him nose at your shoulder, a shiver running through your body at the feeling.
"You know weâve never exactly been just friends."
You can't believe he had just said that as your eyes almost bulge right out of your head, and you try to turn in his arms so that you can face him.
"Noah-"
His grip only tightens on you, and you can't move, stuck where you are, and you hear him huff out a laugh before saying, "Nope. No way. Weâre not having this talk right now when youâre drunk as shit, and weâre trapped in this glorified death box. Go to sleep.â
"But-"
"If you remember this in the morning, then ask me again." You feel his lips move against the back of your neck and you shiver again, squirming against him.
"I will." You finally whisper after two beats of silence, trying to settle back against his chest. "I'll ask you tomorrow."
He presses another kiss to the back of your neck and your entire body flushes, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Okay."
You both lay in silence and it's not long for sleep to find you, body finally relaxing after the long night.
âŠ
You wake some hours later, groaning quietly as you lifted your head up from the pillow. You blink blearily around you before rubbing at your eyes, trying to rid them of sleep as last nightâs shenanigans flooded your brain. With another groan you roll onto your back and stare up at the top of the bunk, picking a part your memories.
Going out with the guys, taking way too many shots with Folio, Nicholas having to walk you back to the bus, the Tylenol, Noah⊠Your mind pauses at the thought of the male, and you realize youâre in the bunk alone. You remember everything clearly, from arguing with him about how this was your bunk â it in fact very much was not â from climbing into said bunk and cuddling with him. You remember him saying that the two of you have never been just friends but refused to elaborate.
If you remember this in the morning, then ask me again.
The bus is quiet, the only sound you hear are Jollyâs snores coming from below you, and the soft sound of the busâs engine running. You were most likely on your way to the next city. Youâre sure Noahâs already up, probably in the front working away on his laptop, and you peel his blanket off your body and do your best to get down from his bunk.
You find him where you expected him, beanie on top his head and hoodie wrapped around his body, headphones on as he typed away at his laptop. Youâd make a joke about him always working, but youâre only thinking of one thing right now.
You come stand in front of him and he notices you almost instantly, pushing his headphones off his head as he stares up at you.
âMorning, sleeping beauty.â
You blush, eyes dropping for a moment as your arms come to cross over your chest.
âWhat did you mean last night?â You blurt out.
Noah pauses but his eyes never leave you, and you watch as he slips his computer off his lap and into the seat next to him. He leans forward, elbows resting against his knees.
âAsk me again.â
âNo, Iâm not-â You huff out a groan and brush your fingers through your hair, wincing a bit at the knots that caught between your hands. âIâm not playing that game, Noah. What did you mean weâve never exactly been just friends?â
âItâs exactly what it sounds like.â He leans back against the couch now, arms crossing over his chest. âAnd you know Iâm right.â
Your heart hammers against your chest and all you can do is nod at his words, cheeks flushing with color. He was right. You two have never been just friends, too close, too touchy to be labeled as platonic. Youâd be lying if you said last night was the first time you shared a bed together. But now what? You got the answer you were looking for, but for some reason you canât even look at Noah, but his eyes are burning into you, watching your every move.
âOkayâŠâ You start, sucking in a breath as you finally moved your gaze back to Noah, eyes locking with his. âIf weâre not just friends, then what does that make us?â
He smiles. âPeople who like each other more than friends but are too scared to admit it?â
Damn. He got that spot on. You blush again, trying to find the right words, but come up short. Your brain is still playing catch up, sleep still very much in your veins, and Noah notices. He leans forward again and gestures you to come closer and you do, his hands reaching out to grab your own.
âWe have the next two days off. Let me take you out. Dinner or something. A movie. Whatever you want.â
âAnd then what?â
He shrugs. âAnd then we see where this goes. Iâm willing to give it a try if you are.â
You canât stop the smile thatâs slipping onto your lips, your fingers curling around his as warmth spread throughout your chest.
âThat sounds good to me.â
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STARS FADING BUT I LINGER ON, DEAR
PAIRING. dan heng x gn!reader; dan feng x gn!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS. torture and imprisonment but nothing graphic or in detail!!Â
WORD COUNT. 5,332
SUMMARY. dan heng has been having dreams about you. they started off goodâlike a fairytale even. but soon heâs been getting the feeling something is wrong. youâre trapped and alone and canât escape. dan heng wonders if his dreams are telling him something. and if they areâŠwhat is there for him to do?
SOFâS NOTE. *shoves this fic in everyoneâs face* LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT MY BABY!! PLS LOVE IT AND TREASURE IT!!! CRADLE IT GENTLE IN UR HANDS!!!! okay on a more serious note ahdjkdkd thank u anon for this amazing request i absolutely adored writing this đ„ș𫶠idk where all the flower symbolism and dreams came from bc ik its not the in req but yk what it spoke to me for this story so i rolled w it HDJSKD i hope yâall enjoy!! :>Â
âWhat are all those flowers for?â you giggled, watching as Dan Feng entered the room with a cart full of peonies in tow.Â
It looked a little ridiculous; the elegant and renowned Imbibitor Lunae wheeling around an absurd amount of white, pink, and red flowers. But Dan Feng never cared about pretenses when he was with you. He always felt comfortable enough to be himself, no matter how ridiculous it appeared.Â
As he approached, he held a small, blooming red peony out between his fingertips. âTheyâre for you, naturally.â
He brushed your hair aside and gently tucked the stem of the flower behind your ear, admiring how the deep red of the flower complimented your complexion.Â
âBeautiful.â
You looked down at your feet with a small chuckle before meeting his gaze again. âThank you. Youâre beautiful as well.â
âThank you, my love,â said Dan Feng, his hand resting on your waist as he planted a kiss on your forehead. âDo you like the flowers?â
You nodded, feeling the soft petals of the flower in your hair between your fingers as you stared at the bundles of peonies in the cart he brought in. Dan Feng walked over when he saw you staring and led you to each section of colors.Â
âThese are pinkâto show my affection for you.â He picked a flower and kissed the petals before bringing it to your mouth to reciprocate. You obliged with a giggle and he smiled and hid the scandalous flower in his sleeves. âThese are white peonies, to let you know Iâm always thinking of you.â
You placed your hand on his chest, feeling the careful embroidery on the silken fabrics. âYouâre always on my mind, too.â
âGood,â he jested. âAs I should be.â
Without warning, he brought your body flush against his chest and captured your mouth with his own, softly tugging at your lower lip. You chased after his touch to give him a kiss of your own, but he soon pulled away with a teasing grin on his face.Â
You pouted. âHey!â
âPatience, beloved,â said Dan Feng. âI still havenât gotten to the last color.â
âOh, my sincere apologies,â you said sarcastically, knowing he was the very reason he hadnât finished his own speech. âPlease, carry on.â
âSince you asked nicely.â He cupped your face and stroked the petals on the flower behind your ear. The sensation of his light fingers brushing against the soft flower petals tickled the skin around your ear and you felt your breath catch in your throat. âThis flower is a red peony, to symbolize just how passionate I am for you.â Dan Heng stared into your eyes before he spoke. âI hope you know how much I love you, truly.â
âI know,â you said, gaze not once meeting his. Your stomach tightened and your heart started beating faster as you placed his warm hand on your chest. âI love you, Dan Feng. Every part of my being is yours.âÂ
âAnd mine, yours.â
Dan Feng took your hand in his, leading you into your bed chambers. You had never felt more loved and wanted than in this moment. But when you entered the room and looked up, the hand you were holding was no longer Dan Fengâs.Â
Instead, your hand was clutching an iron bar instead of your loverâs hand, shackled in chains on your wrists and ankles. Dan Feng was gone and you were stuck in here for eternity.Â
You cried out, body racking with helpless sobs. Every fiber of your beingâmind, body, spiritâmissed him so much. The worst part wasnât the torture, the solitary confinement, the lack of access to basic human needs.Â
No, that was nothing.Â
Nothing compared to knowing you would never see Dan Feng again.Â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
Dan Heng woke with a start, hair plastered to us forehead with sweat. His pillow and blanket were both strewn across the floor of the Archives and he found himself on his bed alone, a heavy pounding coming from the place where his heart should be. His heart hurt so much he wondered if it was even his.Â
He squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to take a deep breath to calm himself down.
That was the third time this week Dan Heng had a dream like that.Â
Before, it wasnât terribly uncommon for him to dream about your experiences with his past reincarnation. Dan Heng thought it was strange at firstâ Why is he dreaming of your memories rather than Dan Fengâs? But the Archives had no answer, so he was forced to accept the fact with mild curiosity as he grew accustomed to the untraditional visions that manifested as dreams that he has been having.Â
Still, the strange part wasnât that he had dreams of you, the strange part was that recently, since the Astral Express left Luofu, Dan Heng has been getting bad dreams of you. Or, to be precise, heâs been experiencing bad memories you have gone through.Â
Dan Heng thought the torture was the worst of it. As cold blades cut against your warm skin, Dan Heng felt each push. Each puncture. Each drop of blood they drew from your veins. He woke up constantly in pain, checking his own body to be sure it wasnât happening to him.Â
But he learned a new form of torture that came from the heart. The solitude and loneliness. The knowledge that the one you loved most has perishedâ Was forced to reincarnate and never see you again.Â
The pain on his body was temporary. But Dan Heng felt the ache in your soul every minute of every day.Â
He just doubted there was anything he could do to stop it.Â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
âY/N,â came a quiet voice from outside the cell. âI came to check on you again.â
You looked up from your thin futon to meet Jing Yuanâs remorseful eyes. Your living conditions have been upgraded from those youâve experienced for decades now. No longer were you in chainsâ You had access to a bath, and they even offered you books and enough food to sustain you. All while confined in a cell, of course.Â
Perhaps they no longer viewed you as a threat. Not that they should have ever viewed you as such in the first place. You didnât understand why you were punished solely for being Dan Fengâs lover. You werenât a warrior. You didnât hold any position of power. You were a scholar and lover of books and plants. But youâre an accomplice, the Preceptors said as they mercilessly chained you up.Â
If you werenât knocked into unconsciousness moments after, you wouldâve spit at their faces as they took you away.Â
âY/NâŠâÂ
You snapped out of your thoughts, dragging your gaze to the man in front of your cell. Placing your book to the side, you smiled up at Jing Yuan. âSorry about that. I was a little out of it there.â
Jing Yuan frowned and your heart moved, feeling the depth of his sadness. âNo need to apologize. Tell me, how have you been?âÂ
âGood, I have to say,â you said, sitting up straight on your bed. âIâm almost finished with the book you gave me last time.âÂ
He smiled but it didnât quite reach his eyes. âIâm glad.â
âIs something the matter?â you asked as you stood and walked over to him, offering a hand of comfort through the iron bars.Â
Jing Yuan took it, giving you a gentle squeeze before dropped your hand. The rush of human contact, despite how brief it was, coursed through you. Itâs been so long since you felt the touch of another person.
âDan Heng and his friends left the Xianzhou Luofu,â he said solemnly.Â
Your eyes shut as you let your forehead press against the cool metal of your cell. A tear fell down your cheek but a smile remained on your face. âThatâs⊠That is good. He should be free from this place. Dan Heng is happiest that way, correct?â
âThat is how it seems,â Jing Yuan sighed. He held back his words for a moment, hesitant. But as he looked at you, he could not longer keep it in. âDo you still think it was the right decision to not inform Dan Heng that you are here?âÂ
You let out a quiet laugh, taking a seat on the floor and Jing Yuan soon followed suit. âWhat would he do with that information? What if he felt guiltyâ? That could hold him back.â
âAre you certain that is a choice for you to make?â
Sighing, you shook your head. It wasnât your choice to make; it was Dan Hengâs. You knew that deep down inside. But what could you do when you were aware of Dan Hengâs aversion to his pastâto any potential connection to Dan Feng? And thus, any connection to you?Â
You felt it, you dreamed about it. Dan Hengâs hatred for his past reincarnation. You mourned for them. Both Dan Feng and Dan Heng. For the former, you knew it must be hard having no connection to your reincarnation. Was his soul no longer tethered to this world? Perhaps he felt lost, even in the afterlife. For the latter, you did not blame any resentment that came from him. You knew all too well that being judged and punished based off the actions of another person was unjust. You wouldnât wish it upon anybody.Â
And so, it made sense to you that Dan Heng wanted to accept his past for what it was, and then be free from it. You did not want to interfere with that. Especially not when he was so close to healing and making a good, happy life for himself.Â
And now, after Jing Yuan told you Dan Heng and his friends finished their adventures in the Xianzhou Luofu, excited to take on the rest of the galaxies, you thought that maybe you made the right choice. You would be happy enough here, alone in this prison, if you knew your beloved was free.Â
It was a decision you made yourself, for Dan Heng.Â
And it was one you hoped you wouldnât regret.Â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
âFoolish! No!â Dan Heng thrashed in his sleep, wanting to reach out and shake you to your senses. Heâs had terrible dream after terrible dream, but this was one he couldnât simply let go of.Â
This one seemed more recent than any of the others. That was not a dream of a distant memory from long agoâ No, the Astral Express that Jing Yuan spoke of in Dan Hengâs dream had only departed Xianzhou Luofu a few days ago now. That meant you were there, locked up right under his nose, for the entirety of his stay at the Luofu. And no one told him a thing.
Dan Heng had to control his fury. He felt hurt and betrayed, despite not having a true, personal connection with you himself. He wasnât Dan Feng and, deep down, he recognized he didnât have a claim to your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But the pain he felt from knowing you were there, and that maybe, just maybe, he couldâve done something to help you sooner, was something Dan Heng couldnât shake.
He knew what he had to do.
Perhaps it was bold, impulsive, and maybe dismissive of their current plans, but he had to do it. Dan Heng took a deep breath, not waiting for the night to turn into day. He was going to ask Pom-Pom to please turn this damn train around.
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
âWhere are they?âÂ
Much to no oneâs surprise, Jing Yuan seemed to know exactly what Dan Heng was talking about. What else could be important enough for Dan Heng to barge into the Seat of Divine Foresight without a word of warning?Â
Jing Yuan quickly excused the meeting he was holding, biding a quick apology and saying they would reconvene shortly. Despite the newfound privacy, he still didnât reveal anything to Dan Heng.
âWell, good afternoon to you as well, Dan Hengââ
âStop. Thereâs no time for formalities right now.â Dan Heng folded his arms, hands clutched into tight fists by his sides. âWhere are the Preceptors keeping them? And why the hell havenât you done anything to help Y/N?â
With a heavy sigh, Jing Yuan took a seat in his chair, gesturing Dan Heng to sit across from him. A gesture Dan Heng pointedly ignored. He wasnât here to sit down and take his time. He wanted to know where you were now so he could get you out of there. The torture, the poor treatment, the punishment for something you didnât do... It wasnât fair. He could hardly put up with it in his dreams. He wondered how it was possible for you to even be surviving all this time.Â
âIt may surprise to you here,â Jing Yuan stated, voice low, âbut as much influence I have over Xianzhou, the Preceptors unfortunately remain untouched by that.â
Dan Hengâs grip loosened, momentarily feeling guilty for assuming Jing Yuan did not try to help you in any way. From what his dreams could see, Jing Yuan was one of the only people who frequently visited youâ Which was already more than he could say for himself.Â
His face hardened but he relented. âIâm sorry for suggesting such a thing.â
Jing Yuan gave him a half-smile through hooded eyes. âIf you hold any recollection of Dan Fengâs time with them, I donât blame you for having such a severe reaction. Y/N wasâisâŠremarkable.âÂ
âI shouldnât know that myself,â said Dan Heng quietly. âYet somehow, I know youâre right.âÂ
He looked at the ground solemnly, suddenly frightened that he wouldnât be able to do anything to help you after all. If the Cloud Knight General Jing Yuan couldnât influence the Preceptors, what could he do?Â
He shook the negative thoughts out of his head. Sure, Dan Heng wasnât Jing Yuan, but he was the reincarnation of Dan Feng, the previous High Elder and Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Heng was the friend and ally of current High Elder Bailu. Dan Heng had the General backing him with a token of alliance. And Dan Heng would stop at nothing to free you from your shackles.Â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
The process was more painstaking than Dan Heng had originally thought. After informing Jing Yuan of his plan to speak to Bailu, Dan Heng soon realized that conversing with her would be the easiest part.
The Dragon Lady was kind and had a good heart. She cared for other people and didnât want to see anyone in pain. The difficult part came from feeling the lack of respect the Preceptors had for her. They treated her as more of a child than a High Elder, even withholding her title of Imbibitor Lunae until they deemed she was âof age.â But Dan Heng thought she had more sense and knowledge than all of the Preceptors combined.Â
It took negotiations, possible acts of coercion that broke many Vidyadhara laws, and even the threat of Dan Heng to follow in his past lifeâs footsteps and destroy the seal at Scalegorge Waterscape and many more places⊠But Dan Heng, along with the assistance and backing of Bailu and Jing Yuan, finally got the Preceptors to agree to release you without forcing a reincarnation.Â
You had suffered decades for a crime you had no hand in committing. The Preceptors were simply scared your love for Dan Feng would influence you to be a main headpiece in carrying out the rebellion against the Xianzhou Luofuâhence why those in charge had originally agreed to keep you here. But Jing Yuan was the residing general now, and with his army at his side, he was able to voice that he no longer viewed imprisonment on this land to be befitting of you as a solid conclusion. Bailu stated, as a complete bluff that anyone could have seen right through, that if you were not released immediately and given the opportunity to be reconnected with Dan Heng, she would no longer be as willing to repair any seals, should they be harmed in the future.Â
Somehow, instead of all three of them getting locked up for treason or whatever Vidyadhara laws they horribly crossed, they managed to succeed in their goal of winning your freedom. The Preceptors wrote in their official records the release date of prisoner Y/N and agreed to escort one of them to your cell.
Jing Yuan and Bailu, of course, both opted for Dan Heng to be the person who sees you first. But only after making him promise they would get to see you once you settled into your new life.Â
Dan Heng smiled, thanking them for their part in this operation. And when night came, he spoke his vow to you under the endless stars.
He would see you soon. And this time, he would never let anything bad happen to you again.Â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
âMore peonies?â you asked with a laugh, staring in awe at the field of flowers that were newly planted on the grounds of your estate. The bright colors of the petals flushed against the dark green of the leaves lined the gardens of your grand quarters.Â
Dan Feng nodded, the trimmings on his sleeves detailed with the faint embroidery of petals dancing around the wind. Your heart warmed when you saw it. It was fitting for him, such a beautiful and caring soul.Â
âI had them planted for you,â he said, gesturing at the arrangement around you. He smiled, his eyes glinting. âBecause one cartful just wasnât enough.âÂ
You shook your head as you went around the rows of peonies, touching the petals in awe of the spring bloom in the air. The smell was sweet and the wind was cool, providing the right amount of breeze to offset the heat of the sun. First, you went to the patch of white peonies, then pink, then red. Then, you noticed a shade Dan Feng hadnât given to you before.
âYellow peonies?â you said curiously, Dan Feng following along as you explored the gardens fit for royalty. Because, he had said before, to him, you were.
âIndeed.â He plucked one from the bush, careful not to ruin the stem of the plant itself. Slowly, he brought it up against the light in the sky. âYellow. As radiant as the sun.âÂ
You stared up, shading your eyes as to not get blinded by the brightness. âIt shines almost as brightly as you.âÂ
Dan Feng made a noise of amusement at your words. âI should be the one saying that to you.âÂ
âPerhaps you should speak faster,â you teased.Â
You walked over to him, placing your hand in his and leading him to a field of grass. When you got to an area you liked, you sat down on the floor, gesturing for him to follow suit. Dan Feng brushed at the fabric of his clothes once before happily obliging. As you sat there, you looked over at Dan Feng and studied the look of serenity on his face. His expression was calm, his eyes were soft and the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly into a smile. In the hand that was not holding yours, he held the yellow peony still in hand.
âDoes it symbolize anything? Like the others?âÂ
He nodded. âYellow peonies are rare to come by. Only the most renowned of breeders can craft one to the perfect shade.â
At his words, you looked back at the abundant row of yellow peonies dressing your land. You wondered how much effort he went through in searching for the perfect shade to gift you.
âTheyâre to symbolize my wishes for you,â stated Dan Feng, toying with the edge of a petal with his thumb. âI wish to bestow upon you luck and prosperity, for the rest of your life.âÂ
âI think Iâve used all the luck I possibly could, finding someone like you,â you giggled, bumping your shoulder against his before leaning your head on it. Dan Feng breathed deeply, resting his head on top of yours. âAnd the only prosperity I wish for is to be prosperous in love. With you.âÂ
He laughed, a deep rumble vibrating against your body. âSo, all your wishes of luck and prosperity have already come true? What need was there for me to gift you these flowers, then?â
You held your palm out, waiting for Dan Feng to place the yellow peony at its center. He gently laid it there, letting his fingers linger against your skin.Â
âIâm glad you gifted me these,â you reassured him. âNow, when I walk by, they will always serve as a reminder of the radiant peony right in front of me.â
Ëâșâ§âËâËââ§âșË
The next morning, Dan Heng entered the dark corridor with a flower tucked into a hidden pocket of his outer garments.Â
While he was nervous about how you might react to him going against your wishes that you expressed to Jing Yuan, his determination to assure your freedom was more than enough to counteract that. If Dan Heng truly wanted to be freed of his past and atone for the wrongdoings of Dan Feng, he would need to make sure no one else was being punished for his actions.Â
He had helped repair the Ambrosial Arborâs seal at Scalegeorge Waterscape, to atone for Dan Fengâs acts against the current High Elder and all of the Luofu Vidyadhara. Now, he would release you from decades of unjust punishment you suffered simply for being associated with him.Â
âY/N, you have a visitor,â one of the Preceptors said dryly, unlocking a cell. The hooded man could hardly hide the look of distaste on his face a before he rolled his eyes and walked away. âIâm sure you two must have plenty to catch up on. Leave here quickly before we change our minds.â
Dan Heng peered into the entrance, his gaze meeting your confused and alarmed face in an instant.Â
You looked between Dan Heng and the open cell, not a Preceptor in sight. âIs this a test?â
He shook his head, showing you the official pardon signed by Bailu, Jing Yuan, and a representative of the Preceptors. You held the document in your hands, reading its contents and feeling the seal to believe itâs legitimacy, before giving it back to him. He felt your hands tremble as you made brief contact with his and he was overcome with the urge to comfort you.Â
âThis isnât a test,â he promised, looking into your eyes in hopes you would see the truth in them. âYou really are free from here.â
You let out an amused noise of disbelief, shaking your head. âOh, Dan Heng⊠What did you do?â
He startled at the sound of his name coming from your lips. He was so accustomed to you only repeating Dan Feng over and over in his dreams that this felt almost refreshing.Â
âRather, what did Jing Yuan do?â you corrected, laughing quietly as you stood up from your seated position. Your robes, once beautifully crafted, were worn and tattered. But the light in your eyes never waned. âI told him not to tell you.â
âHe didnât,â said Dan Heng. He considered his statement before adding, âI suppose eventually he did confirm it, but I was the one who confronted him about it.â
You raised a curious brow. âAnd how, pray tell, did you know about thisâŠsituation?â
âFrom my dreams.â
Your eyes widened in surprise. For once, you were speechless.Â
âI know itâs more normal to have dreams about your past reincarnation,â he stated, neatly folding the document in his hands before sliding it away into his pocket. âBut, while I occasionally had dreams of Dan Fengâs lifeâbad ones normally, might I addâitâs been more common to have dreams of you.â
With a slow and shaky breath, you shut your eyes to think. âYouâd had dreams of Dan Fengâs memories of me, do you mean?â
He shook his head. âNo. Theyâre dreams of your memories. Some included your moments with Dan Feng from long ago, yes. Others were you in this prison. A recent one was of Jing Yuan visiting you and in it you said not to tell me about this.â
You chuckled helplessly. âWhat good did that do, after all?â
âWhy didnât you want me to know? Why didnât you want me to help you?â
âIt wasnât that!â you protested, your eyes telling stories your words could not keep up with. You sighed. âOkay, it was.â
Dan Heng let out a sharp breath.
âHowever, itâs not for the reasons you might be thinking,â you corrected, arms folded over your chest. âIâve come to accept my life being imprisoned here. Itâs given me a lot of time to think and reflect. And, similar to you, Iâve occasionally had dreams of you, Dan Heng.â
He tilted his head to the side.Â
âThey werenât long nor were they frequent. But what I have gathered from them, scarce as they were, is you resent Dan Feng. You donât want any ties to your past. And youâve accomplished so much growth and closure, finally freeing yourself from all that burdened you. What good would it be to drag you back here and make you relive this?âÂ
âYou sound ridiculous.âÂ
His words were harsh and it stopped you right in your tracks. You stared at him, eyes wide as they peered into his, but he couldnât let that stop the words of logic from coming out of his mouth.Â
âYouâre not a saint nor are you a martyr. You donât have to try to be one. Youâre a person, and for that you should be free in your own right. Youâre a Vidyadhara, trapped and punished for actions that were not your own. I understand what youâve been throughâ Iâve been there, too.â Dan Heng held his hand out to you from outside your prison cell, waiting for you to walk out and accept it. âFurthermore, you are a kind and loving soul, and you donât deserve to spend a single moment in this place. Please, accept my help.â
Your cheeks were wet as you nodded your head. Slowly, you placed your cold, shaky hand in his. He felt your cool skin against his warm one and he enveloped your hands gently, brushing your knuckles with his thumb to share the heat in his body.Â
âIâve wanted to get out of here so badly,â you admitted through silent tears. âI hated being confined and alone. I felt helpless. Pathetic.â He watched with a heavy heart as you wiped your own tears away. Could he reach out and do it for you instead? He chastised himself. As much as he wanted to, he had no right. âBut you suffered so much in your past lifeâin this life even. I didnât want to cause you any more pain.â
Dan Heng shook his head. âWhat brings me the most pain is knowing you were suffering for so long, and I didnât help you.â
âHow could you help when you didnât know?â you reasoned with a sad smile. âIâm sorry for making Jing Yuan promise to never let you know.â
His eyes squeezed shut as a sharp pang ran through his heart. âPlease. Please promise me you wonât do something like that again. If you need me, I want to be there for you. Always.â
You gaze widened at his words before you recollected yourself.Â
Dan Heng winced as he understood what he said. His mind and soul were confused. He knew he wasnât Dan Feng, that this was the first moment he has ever had with you. But why does he feel like heâs known you forever?Â
After a few moments of silence, as if you were giving him time to amend what he said, you finally spoke. âOkay. I promise.âÂ
He felt every muscle in his body relax at those words. He knew the promise you spoke was true to your heart. Dan Heng believed it with all his being and he let that console him.Â
âThank you,â he breathed.Â
With one of your hands still in his, he slowly led you out of the corridor and up the stairs, away from your cold and dark prison.Â
âWhat are you going to do now that youâre free?â Dan Heng asked, hating himself for hoping your future plans would somehow include keeping in touch with him. âWill youâŠstay on the Luofu?â
Your body tensed as a shiver went down your spine. You shook your head fervently as your expression twisted into one of grief. Dan Hengâs heart stirred at the sight. He knew that feeling all too well, and it pained him knowing you had similar conflicts to go through. âNo, thatâs the last thing I want to do. I wonât stay here. At least not now.â
âI understand.âÂ
You gave him a weak, but hopeful smile as he squeezed your hand softly.Â
âAnd you?â you wondered, looking at him with thoughtful and eyes as you awaited his response.Â
âIâm going to the Astral Express to continue on with our adventures,â he said with his lips upturned. âItâs a great place to call home, especially when youâve lost the only place you had once called home.â He stared at you for a moment. âIf you would like to join usâjoin meâI think you would very much enjoy it.âÂ
You teared up at his offer. âCan you really just invite people like that?â
Dan Heng briefly thought of the girl they picked us as an icicle and the boy who they found with no knowledge of the past. He considered your situation. âYes, we really can.âÂ
The sunlight from outside finally started shining through the walkway, signaling that you were almost out as a freed person.Â
âAlso,â he said, before he could forget, âI, myself, would want you to come join our crew, even if itâs only for a little while. You can stay for as long as you want, and leave whenever you want as well.â
Your ears perked up at that. âI like the sound of that. If the Astral Express will have me, then I would love to join.âÂ
Dan Heng smiled as he patted the top of your head. Your body relaxed at his touch as you leaned into him, and he continued to hold onto you as you approached the exit. âNo one will threaten your freedom ever again. That is my oath to you.â
You started at him, brows furrowed in determination. âAnd I vow the same to you. These new beginnings will bring only freedom and prosperity.â
At that word, Dan Heng suddenly remembered the small gift he brought for you. He blushed as he felt the soft petals of the peony in his large pocket.Â
âI have something for you,â he said, slowly stopping in his tracks. He turned towards you and you followed suit, tilting your head to the side in question. âItâs nothing big. But itâs a token. A reminder.âÂ
He held out the peony in one hand, watching as your eyes lit up at the sight of it. Your mouth widened as you let out a noise of laughter, accepting his gift and holding it close to your chest.Â
âThank you, Dan Heng,â you said, tears of happiness filling your eyes. âI love it.â
It wasnât yellowâ He wasnât the bright and radiant Dan Feng you knew and loved. It wasnât red or pink, even. While he felt traces of love and attraction for you from his past memories, he knew in his heart that wasnât really him developing those feelings for you.Â
Instead, it was a white peony.Â
You were always in his thoughts. It was both a blank slate, and a gentle reminder. He would never forget you, and as he got to experience life with you, who knew what dashes of color would be mixed in next with this pearly white.Â
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Chapter 13- There's No Place Like Home
Summary: 6 months ago, Javier Peña quite literally bumped into you and changed your life forever. 6 months later, Javi prepares to ask you to spend your forever with him.
Word Count: 13.2K (reasonable of me tbh)
Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (wrap before u tap), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, massive breeding kink, one use of daddy (in reference to actually being a dad, but STILL), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, mentions of food/eating, Javi being a nervous wreck, so many surprises (hehehehehe), literally so much fluff and love and happiness AHHHHHHHHH
A/N: It's here!!! The moment we've all been waiting for since these two lovebirds first met đđđđđđ I have no words, only loud screams into the abyss bc of how happy and in love these idiots are!!! Thank you to everyone that has been along on this ride, your love and support means more to me than you know đ„șđ«¶đ» Also literally not that anyone cares, but I picked May 27th as just a random day when I first started writing, and the way I literally SCREAMED when I found out that Thanksgiving in 1997 fell on November 27th?!?! That, and when I first started, Javi was not proposing until the spring/summer OOPS đ€·đŒââïžđ
Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter
November 27th, 1997.Â
6 months.Â
6 months since the day he quite literally bumped into you.Â
6 months since he had first laid eyes on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.Â
6 months since the moment he already knew he was head over heels in love with you.Â
6 months of waiting to ask the most important question of his life.Â
Because tomorrow, exactly 6 months from the day he had met you, Javier Peña was going to ask you to marry him.Â
And he was a fucking nervous wreck.Â
It had killed Javi to wait this long. By conventional standards, 6 months wasnât that long to know someone before you asked them to spend the rest of their life with you, but in all honesty, Javi would have proposed to you 3 months ago after he first got his momâs ring from his dad. He had never been so sure of anything in his entire life- he wanted to spend forever with you. And now, after what felt like years of waiting, making sure that everything had fallen in place to give you the best proposal he could possibly imagine, the day was almost here.Â
Javi wanted everything to be perfect. He needed it to be. You were the most perfect person he had ever met, and to him, you deserved everything, and then some. He wasnât nervous you were going to say no, or that he was second guessing his decision, Javi was a mess because there was nothing more he wanted than to give you a day you would never forget.Â
It was also going to now be a day Chucho Peña never forgot either. After everything had settled into place for Javi to finally start finalizing his plans, his poor dad had now become much more involved in planning a proposal than he ever thought heâd have to be. At this point, he was truly trying his best to not find it humorous how worked up his son had been over it, knowing that there was no way in the world you were going to be anything short of amazed, let alone say no.Â
âAnd youâre sure that youâve got the-âÂ
âJavier. This is probably the 14th time you have gone over the plan with me. Yes. I am sure I have everything you need. I have both lists you insisted I take, everyone knows where to be and what to do to help. Take a deep breath, hijo.â Chucho chuckled, taking a sip of his beer as he and Javi sat on the back porch of the Peña ranch, watching the sky slowly fade from bright yellows and pinks to faded blues as the sun dipped below the horizon.Â
âOkay. Sorry. Iâm uh- Fuck, Pops, Iâm nervous as hell.â Javi swallowed, running his thumb along the condensation of his can, anxiously drawing little circles in the water droplets.Â
âReally? I canât tell.â Chucho joked, smirking to himself as he glanced over at his son, bouncing his leg against the chair he was sitting on. âJavier, what is there to be nervous about? Itâs not like sheâs going to say no.â Javi looked up at his Dad, the worn smile of his wrinkled face bringing him some relief from the nervous state he was in.Â
âNo, I know. I just- I just want it to be perfect. I want it to be perfect for her. Iâve been thinking about this for so long and now itâs finally fucking here. She deserves everything, Pops. I love her so much.â Chucho reached over, patting his hand against Javiâs shoulder, gently squeezing his fingertips against the soft fabric of his flannel shirt.Â
âJavier, it will be perfect because you love her, and she loves you.â Chucho paused for a moment, quietly laughing to himself as he looked over at Javi. âHave I ever told you the story of how I proposed to your mamĂĄ?â A mischievous grin grew across Chuchoâs face as Javi nodded, taking another swig of his drink.Â
âYeah, you did it at the lake, right?âÂ
âYes. But that is the short version of the story, Mijo. I was so nervous when I proposed to your mother, that as we were walking up to the lake so I could get down on one knee and ask her to marry me, I tripped over my own feet and fell right to the ground, and the ring came out of my pocket. I didnât put it in a box, because I was worried she would see, and so she had to help me find her engagement ring in the grass because I couldnât find it. Until the day she died, she never let me live it down. But it is still one of my favorite memories of the two of us. It was still perfect. Javier, that girl would marry you if you got down on one knee and asked her in your living room. I have no doubt in my mind that tomorrow will be a day that she will never forget.âÂ
âFuck, guess I better add tripping over myself to the list of things I need to worry about, thanks, Dad.â The pair laughed, shaking their heads as Chucho gave Javi one last pat on the shoulder before he placed his hands on his knees, letting out a heavy grunt as he pushed himself up out of his chair.Â
âCabrĂłn (asshole). Now go, you should be spending time with your future esposa (wife) instead of your old man the night before your engagement. I promise, I have everything taken care of.â Javi followed his dadâs suit, setting down his beer before standing up, reaching out to wrap his arms around Chucho in a tight embrace.Â
âThanks, Pops. For everything. Te amo.âÂ
âOf course, mijo. Te amo mucho. I am so happy for you, Javier. She is such a wonderful woman. I am so glad she is going to be a part of our family. I know that your mamĂĄ is smiling down on you- She would have loved her so much, Javier. I love her, too. And now, Iâm finally one step closer to mis nietos (my grandchildren).â Chucho playfully nudged Javi as he rolled his eyes, giving his son one last embrace as Javi headed out to his truck. As he turned over the ignition, Javi smiled to himself as he turned up the volume of the Queenâs Greatest Hits album you had picked out from your last drive.
âOh, you're the best friend that I ever had. Been with you such a long time, You're my sunshine, and I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. Oh, you're my best friend.âÂ
Javi couldnât help but let a stupidly wide grin spread across his cheeks as he listened to the lyrics of the track that had begun playing over the quiet crunch of the gravel under his truck tires as he backed out of the driveway to drive home. Because tomorrow? Tomorrow, Javier Peña was going to ask his best friend in the whole world, the woman he loved more than life itself, you, to be his wife.Â
Even though it was barely long enough for you to consider it to be a school âbreakâ, you were glad to have today off to prep for your first Laredo Thanksgiving tomorrow. This would be the first time you would ever spend the holiday away from your childhood home, where your family had hosted every Thanksgiving for as long as you could remember. As much as you would have loved to fly back to go see everyone, plane tickets for the long weekend had been ridiculously expensive, and with just going to visit them a month ago for your cousinâs wedding, and future plans to go back to Chicago over Christmas break, your parents had been insistent on the fact that it was okay that you werenât going to be able to make it home for Thanksgiving. While of course, you had been heartbroken you would have to miss seeing your family, from the moment Chucho found out you were Texas bound for the holiday, he was quick to make sure you felt nothing short of absolutely included in celebrating with the Peñas, even if it was just you, Javi and Chucho.Â
Javi still had to work on your day off, so you had spent your free time catching up on chores around the house, taking a well deserved nap and now, you were working on the apple pie you insisted to Chucho bring for the celebration tomorrow, as much as he had tried to convince you that you didnât need to bring anything.Â
Somewhere along the lines of your childhood, it had become a Wednesday before Thanksgiving tradition that your family would watch The Wizard of Oz with your siblings before going to bed (although now as an adult, you had a feeling your parents put it on for you and your brothers so they could get the house ready without the four of you doing any more damage), so it only felt right that you put in on to watch as you waited for your pies to cook in the oven and Javi to get home. You shuffled through your VHS collection under the TV, rummaging around until you pulled out the worn tape, pushing it into the VHS player. After the movie had begun to play, you turned back around, letting out a defeated sigh at the current state of your kitchen.Â
As much as you loved baking, it always seemed to feel like a bomb had gone off by the time you were done as you looked around to see bowls, cutting boards and rolling pins in disarray on your counters. You grimaced to yourself looking around at the mess you had made, rolling up the sleeves of Javiâs oversized Texas A&M sweatshirt you had thrown on after you had woken up from your nap. With the way you had set up your apartment when you moved in, you were able to get a good view of your TV from the kitchen, cranking up the volume on your remote so you could listen and quote along to the movie as you worked on trying your best to clean up before Javi came home to your baking tornado.Â
At this point, you had seen the Wizard of Oz enough to quote it from front to back, especially as you and your brothers very early on in life had easily determined who got to be each part when you watched together. By default, because you were the only girl, your brothers told you that you had to be Dorthy, which you didnât mind because you got the main part and to have Todo (Although your favorite family dog, Otis, an overweight yellow lab, wasnât very pleased about having to be a part of you and your brothers yearly production). Charlie was always the Tin Man, being the oldest and most empathetic out of the rest of your brothers, David was Courage the Cowardly Lion, claiming lions were cool animals and that he was the bravest of your siblings, much to your disagreement, leaving Patrick as the Scarecrow, you and your brothers giving him the title of the smartest idiot youâd ever meet. After finishing washing the dishes, you had moved on to wiping down the counters, pausing and smiling to yourself as you heard the start to âSomewhere Over the Rainbowâ playing from the TV. You couldnât help yourself as you began to sing along, swaying back and forth as you lazily wiped up your mess. You were so caught up in singing and dancing to yourself that you hadnât even heard Javi open the door behind you.Â
Javi had quickly come to find out after moving in with you that not only coming home to you, but coming home to find you singing along to whatever CD you had playing as you meandered through the apartment, completely oblivious to his presence, was one his favorite things. There were times he could hear your voice as he went to unlock the door, making sure to open it extra quietly so he could stand in the doorway for a few moments, taking in the warmth and joy that radiated from you as you were lost in your own world. He soaked in every moment, watching every sway of your hip and shake of your head until you realized that he was home, making him just as happy for the big hug and kiss he got from you and your excited giggles as you greeted him. Â
He couldnât quite make out what you had been signing as he carefully turned his key in the lock, gently closing the door behind him, grinning at the image of you dressed head to toe in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, messy bun plopped on your head as you bent over the counter, resting your elbow on the hard surface with your head propped up on your chin.Â
âSomewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then oh why canât I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why oh why canât I?âÂ
Quietly setting down his bag and keys, Javi snuck his way over to the kitchen loud enough for you not be completely startled by his presence, as the song came to an end, making you turn your head over your shoulder to see Javi coming behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist from the back he pressed his chest into your back, making you giggle as he planted quick, soft kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and shoulder.Â
âI could listen to you sing all day, Hermosa.â Javi rasped into your ear, playfully shaking you in his grasp. âWizard of Oz?â He asked, gesturing towards the TV as the movie continued in the background.Â
âReally? You want me to sing Days of the Week for you? I didnât get to sing it today since there was no school, I really need to get my fix.â You retorted, giving Javi a little nudge as he rolled his eyes.Â
âPlease for the love of God, no.â The both of you laughed as you looked back at the TV, watching Todo escape from the back of Mrs. Gulchâs bike basket.Â
âMy brothers and I would always watch it the night before Thanksgiving. Not really sure how the tradition started, but figured Iâd throw it on. I can turn it off if you donât wanna watch or put on something else.â You replied, reaching over for the remote.Â
âNo, keep it on, Osita.â He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, arms still resting along your hips as he held you. âI canât fuckinâ tell you the last time Iâve seen this movie. Iâm gonna be real honest with you, I never really watched it that much as a kid because the flying monkeys scared the shit outta me.âÂ
âSeriously? Theyâre not even that scary. But we can fast forward through the monkey parts, if you need to, ya big bab-HEY!â You shrieked as Javi suddenly turned you around in his grasp so you were chest to chest before scooping you up and plopping you down so you were sitting on the counter. He placed his hands outside your hips, engulfing your body and making you squirm and laugh as he peppered ticklish kisses across your neck and face, trying your best to swat back at him. âJavi stop! You know that tickles!â You squealed, finally grabbing his arms, wrestling with him until he had given up, pressing a sweet, tender kiss on your lips.Â
âOh yeah? Whoâs the big baby now?â He smirked, running his hands along your thighs as your legs dangled over the edge of the counter.Â
âStill you, because Iâm not irrationally afraid of poorly made monkey costumes.â You pointed your finger at him, prodding at his chest.Â
âTheyâre fucking terrifying, Osita. Youâre the worst, you know that?âÂ
âOh really? You still gonna tell me Iâm the worst when I take these apple pies out of the oven?â You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest as you nodded over to the stove.Â
âFuck, I knew it smelled good in here. Does that mean I get to-âÂ
âDonât you dare even think about trying to sneak a piece of these pies before tomorrow, Javier JesĂșs Peña! These are for Thanksgiving, and even though thereâs only the 3 of us, I still made two because I know if I put a pie down in front of you, you could probably eat the whole thing by yourself, and I am not making another pie after the disaster in this tiny kitchen that I just cleaned up.â You raised an eyebrow at Javi, trying to give him your best stern face, the two of you snickering at each other as you tried to scold him.Â
âFine, fine. No pies.â Javi laughed, holding up his hands in defense. âNot even just a little-âÂ
âJavi! No!â You shook your head, slapping his arm as he looked back over at the oven before looking back at you, a sly smirk spreading across his face. Grabbing at the meat of your thighs, he slotted himself in the empty space of your legs, spread open as you sat on the counter. His hands quickly slid up towards your waist, creeping under the hem of his sweatshirt you were wearing as he caged his chest against yours, nipping at your neck, his words hot and heavy on your skin. âJaviâŠ.â You moaned, tipping your head back as his kisses traveled down to your collarbone and hands tugged at the waistband of your sweatpants. âJavi, Iâm gonna burn these pies, I donât wanna have to make them again or explain to your dad that theyâre burnt to a crisp because his son cannot keep his hands off me for more than 30 seconds. They only need to be in the oven for like-âÂ
â10 more minutes?â Javi quickly cut you off, now beginning to slide your sweatpants down your thighs, firmly pressing his hands along the soft flesh of your now bare legs. âOh, donât worry, I saw the timer, Hermosa. Baby, you know I can take care of you in 10 minutes, now I just wanna see how many times I can get you off before the pies are done.âÂ
âSeriously? Youâre timing yourself? Are we placing bets on this too, while weâre at it? You are absolutely ridiculous, Javi, I swear.â You tried your best to roll your eyes, but as his hands crept down, palming the already wet patch that had been growing in your underwear, it was hard to pretend you were even annoyed in the slightest. Your breath hitched as he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, shuffling them down your legs as he placed his hands on the inside of your thighs, pushing them open to reveal the slick of your arousal that had already been pooling between them. Gently, he ran his fingers through your folds, barley grazing over your clit before dropping to his knees, coming face to face with your dripping heat.Â
â3.â He said, carefully kissing along the inside of your legs, making his way closer and closer to your entrance.Â
â3 what?â You replied, trying your best to stay focused on anything Javi was saying as his nose bumped against your throbbing bundle of nerves, practically feeling his smirk against your pussy as he darted his eyes up at you.Â
â3 times. I bet I can make you cum 3 times before the timer goes off.âÂ
âYouâre a fucking menace, Javier Peña, you know that right?â You sighed, gripping your hands against the edge of the counter, feeling your cunt clench, desperate for him to ease the ache between your legs.Â
âOnly for you, Hermosa. Solo para ti (Only for you).â Javi looked up at you, shooting you a quick wink before licking a broad stroke against your clit, making you gasp and your jaw go slack as you moaned breathlessly. That was all it took before he dove in, a man on a mission to make you cum as many times as he could in the few minutes he had. Your legs draped over his broad shoulders, his fingertips squeezing into the flesh of your hips as his pace became rapid and intense, licking and sucking at your clit in a way that had you writing on the counter, tugging at the dark curls of his hair for any sort of relief.Â
âJavi, holy shit baby, oh fuck.â You whined, bucking your hips towards his face and arching your back as he circled around your bundle of nerves, your moans and whimpers only making him press his tongue firmer against you. Even after all this time, there was a part of you that still couldnât believe how fast Javi could make you cum. He had memorized every twitch, every tug of his hair, every breathy whisper to know what made you fall apart under his touch, loving every second of watching you come undone for him. You could feel the tingling beginning to creep up your legs and into your stomach as Javi sucked at your clit, pulling his head closer to your soaking core, desperate for more. âPlease donât stop, Javi. Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, I- ahhhhhhhhh.â That was all it took before you could feel the waves of pleasure rushing through your body, your pussy throbbing as your orgasm flooded over you, your body trembling at Javiâs relentless pace as he still worked at you as you came.Â
âFuck, you taste so sweet, hermosa. Sweetest fucking thing Iâve ever tasted.â Javi smirked, his mustache covered in your slick as he peeked over at the timer counting down on the stove. â7 minutes? Plenty of fucking time, Osita. You want my fingers, pretty girl?â He mewled, satisfied as he stared at the soaking wet mess between your legs, knowing you were still needy for more.Â
âMhmmmmhhh. Please, Javi, please.â You whimpered, your hand still buried deep in the brown locks of his hair, pleading for relief as your cunt clenched around nothing, desperate to be filled.Â
âSuch a good girl, asking so nicely.â He cooed, slowly pushing his two fingers into your already drenched core, making you gasp at the thickness now filling you, bumping against the soft spongy spot that made your toes curl and your jaw go slack. Already so worked up from just moments ago, as soon as Javiâs mouth was back on your throbbing clit, you could feel yourself beginning to clench around Javiâs hand, arousal pooling in your belly. His fingers slid easily in and out of your heat, his hand and mouth working at a persistent pace as he felt you squirm under him, knowing how close you were again.Â
Your second orgasm hit you even harder than your first, moaning and panting incoherently as you tensed around the thickness of Javiâs digits, soaking his hand as he feverishly lapped up your slick, only removing his mouth after he knew you had come down from your second high to smirk up at you with a devilishly smug grin. He ran his free hand along your leg, grasping at your thigh as his other hand still slowly pulsed inside you, his fingers curling ever so slightly to the spot he knew would get him to his goal. As much as you wanted to, you couldnât even blame him for self-satisfied smile- Javi knew just as well as you that he knew how to work you in all the right ways to get you exactly where he wanted you. âGimme one more just like this, Osita. Câmon, sweet girl. Wanna watch that pretty face when you cum. â You nodded, looking down at the shine of your arousal covering his smirk, knowing that at this point, you were so worked up and overstimulated that just the fingers already inside of you really were all you needed to give him your last orgasm.Â
Javiâs fingers had already sunk so deep into your cunt, already so overly sensitive to every push and pull of his hand, that your grasp on the counter had become so tight, you could feel your knuckles turning white. You cried out his name as it fell from your lips, babbling incoherently as the third rush of pleasure crashed over you, gushing onto Javiâs hand as awed at your blissed out state.Â
âThatâs it, baby. Let it all go, hermosa. Fuck, you look so good like this. Canât believe youâre all fuckinâ mine. God, youâre so perfect.â Javi carefully pulsed his fingers a few more times as he felt you clench around him, making you hiss as he withdrew his hand now soaked in your slick. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he sucked his fingers clean before rising up off his knees, taking his time to plant soft kisses along your body before grabbing your face, pressing his lips against yours the taste of you still tangy on his tongue. It wasnât long until the beep of the oven timer was ringing through your kitchen, making Javiâs smug smirk only grow wider. âSee? Told you I could do it 3 times before the pies were done.âÂ
âJesus ChristâŠâ You swatted at him, trying to catch your breath, the two of you laughing and shaking your heads as he helped you slide down off the counter before pulling your sweatpants back up over your legs, walking over towards the oven. âIf you think this was gonna change my mind about you getting a piece tonight, itâs not.â You raised an eyebrow at him, throwing on an oven mitt before reaching in to pull out the pies, sweet and steaming as they rested on the counter.Â
âNot even just a-âÂ
You turned around, trying your best to give him your most stern look without bursting into giggles, making Javi hold his hands up in defense, stopping mid-sentence. âYou can have all the pie you want tomorrow, you hungry, horny menace.â You laughed, taking off your oven mitt and pointing it at him.Â
Tomorrow.Â
He couldnât help but smile knowing that in less than 24 hours, tomorrow meant a lot more than just getting to eat the apple pies that had just come out of the oven.Â
Javi felt like a little boy on Christmas morning. Sleep was an incredibly inaccurate way to describe the anticipated tossing and turning he had done all night, his heart racing excitedly as he counted down the moments until he finally got down on one knee, and asked you to be his wife. It didnât take much to get Javi out of bed bright and early, his adrenaline pumping through his veins as he planted a soft kiss on the tangled and sleepy waves of your hair as you laid face down, snoring into your pillow, before sneaking out of your room into the kitchen.Â
As you shifted over in bed, reaching for Javi to pull him closer to you in your half asleep state, you scrunched your face, blinking as you looked over to find an empty space beside you, the sheets of Javiâs of the mattress left in a tangled pile in his place. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you looked up to see the sunrise creeping through the cracks of your curtains, painting your bedroom walls in golden rays and silhouettes, blowing in the soft breeze from your cracked window. Reaching your arms over your head and letting out a big yawn, you crawled out of bed, shuffling across the carpet of your bedroom to your dresser to pull out another one of Javiâs sweatshirts before opening your door to hear the sounds of sizzling and popping coming from the kitchen. Creeping down the hallway, you peeked your head around the corner to see Javi and his messy, sleepy curls cooking away, working on what seemed to be like bacon and eggs, sitting next to an already completed giant pile of pancakes.Â
âAre we having breakfast for 12 this morning?â You giggled, your voice still soft and sleepy as you smiled at Javi, walking into the kitchen and hugging him from behind, snaking your arms around his waist, resting your body against his broad back. âYou didnât have to do all this, Jav. I didnât know you were getting up to make breakfast this morning, I could have gotten up and helped.âÂ
Javi set down his spatula, turning to face you, gently cupping your jaw as placed a soft kiss on your lips and forehead, squeezing you in a tight hug. âGood morning to you too, Hermosa. I know you didnât. I wanted to surprise you and bring you breakfast in bed, but I guess I should have known better that you would be up before then.â He chuckled as you hoisted yourself up onto the counter, sitting next to the stack of pancakes you now noticed were separated by both blueberries and chocolate chips. He reached beside him, handing you the mug of coffee he had poured, gladly taking a generous sip before watching him finish up the rest of the scrambled eggs on the stove.Â
âSurprise Thanksgiving breakfast?â You laughed, tilting your head in confusion as you looked over at Javi before reaching down to grab a chocolate chip pancake, taking a bite and letting out a satisfied sigh.Â
Javi tried his best to keep calm and nonchalant, giving a little shrug as he scraped the eggs off the pan onto one of the empty plates, handing it over to you. âItâs uh- itâs your first Thanksgiving away from home, I donât know- I know you love breakfast, I just wanted to make it special for you, I guess.â  Â
âWell-â You paused, taking a big fork full of eggs, nodding your head as you chewed, âOh my god these are good-â finally swallowing before finishing the rest of your thought, âYouâre very sweet, and I am very, very thankful for you, and your delicious breakfast.â You grinned, leaning over to give Javi a kiss on the cheek on his scratchy, morning stubble as he dropped the rest of the eggs on to his plate, setting it to the side as he hooked his arms under your thighs, making you squeal as you draped his arms around your neck and locked your legs around the small of your back as he spun you around, peppering ticklish kisses against your soft skin.Â
âIâm so thankful for you too, Osita. Fuck, youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me, you know that? I love you so goddamn much.â His sweet, brown eyes locked with yours as your hands ran through the soft curls of his hair before tracing along his cheek, your thumb rubbing soft circles along his jaw.Â
âI love you too, Jav. Someoneâs feeling sappy this morning.â You prodded, giving him one last quick peck before unwrapping your legs and setting your feet back on the ground, grabbing your plate and heading over to the couch to turn on the TV. Javi looked at the ground sheepishly, feeling the heat creep through his flushed face.Â
You didnât even know the fucking half of it.Â
Javi had spent the rest of the morning trying his best to stay as even keeled as possible, but with how fast his heart had been beating since the moment he had gotten out of bed, he was surprised you hadnât asked if he was having a heart attack as you pressed your head against his chest, cuddling up together on the couch to watch the rest of the Macyâs Thanksgiving Day Parade after finishing your huge breakfast.Â
âAwh yes!â You grasped at Javiâs shirt, shaking the fist fulls of fabric in excitement as you stared at Santaâs sleigh now making its way across the TV screen. âChristmas time is finally here!â Javi shook his head, laughing to himself at the number of times you had already broughten up how excited you were for Christmas since the day November had started. âAre you gonna hate me if I start decorating and listening to Christmas music tomorrow?â You grimaced, twisting your head to look up at Javi.Â
âJesus Christ, you werenât kidding, huh? You really wanna start setting out Christmas shit tomorrow?âÂ
âI will hold off until December 1st if I absolutely have to, but just know, each day that passes until then will kill me slowly.âÂ
âAnd Iâm the ridiculous one?âÂ
âPendejo.â You grumbled, giving him a nudge.Â
âYou love me. Thatâs fine baby, Iâm honestly impressed you held out this long.âÂ
âHonestly, itâs only because I actually really do also like Thanksgiving, it deserves it's time to shine, too. Oh, speaking of which, I wanna call my family just to say hi really quick before we start getting ready to leave, is that okay?â You asked, pushing yourself up off the couch.Â
âUh, yeah- yeah of course thatâs fine, Hermosa.â He replied, seeming surprisingly flustered by your question. You obviously hadnât seemed to notice, walking over to grab your phone off the receiver before punching in your house phone number, holding it up to your ear as the dial tone rang repeatedly. A confused look spread across your face as the ringing ended in your momâs familiar voicemail, giving Javi a puzzled shrug as you left your message.Â
âHi everyone, itâs me! Just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! I miss you guys! If you try and call and I donât answer, weâre over at Javiâs dadâs- Javi says hi too. Okay, well if I donât talk to you later, then tell David not to eat too much gravy so he doesnât shit his pants again. Love you!â You pressed the red button, ending your call as you set the phone back down. âThatâs so weird that no one answered, they should all be home right now.â  Â
âIâm sure theyâre fine, baby. Theyâre probably just busy. Iâm sure youâll talk to them later.â He smiled, giving your outstretched hand a reassuring squeeze. Â
âYeah, youâre right. We should probably start getting ready, when did your dad want us over again?âÂ
âHe said to take our time, heâll have food ready whenever we get over there.âÂ
âWell I feel bad that heâs there waiting all by himself. Iâm good to hop in the shower if you are?â You suggested, pulling him up to stand from the couch.Â
âDonât worry about me for the shower, Iâll clean up the rest of breakfast and you can start getting ready, okay?â Javi rubbed his hand along your arm, reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear.Â
âJav, you made me breakfast, the least I can do is help clean-âÂ
âOsita. I know youâd help me clean up. I want to, okay? I wanted to get up and make breakfast for you, Iâm not gonna let you clean up my mess.âÂ
âFine, Mr. Stubborn. Thank you. You sure I canât-âÂ
âGo get your ass in the shower, hermosa.â Javi gestured towards the bathroom, giving your butt a quick smack before heading down the hallway into the bathroom.Â
In all honesty, cleaning the dishes was the last thing Javi had on his mind as he was finally able to get you into the bathroom. Once he heard the water on and the shower curtain open, he snuck his way into the bedroom, digging through his sock drawer to pull out the giant sock ball with your ring buried inside it. Pulling the velvet case out of the fabric, Javi carefully opened the box, smiling at the glimmer of the piece of shiny jewelry, picturing how perfect it would look finally wrapped around your finger. He slipped the case into one of the inside pockets of his jacket, squeezing his hand around the fabric, as if to make sure this was actually happening. Quietly, he grabbed his cell phone from his nightstand, dialing up Chucho, anxiously chewing at the inside of his lip as he waited for his dad to answer.Â
âHola, hijo.â Chucho answered, his voice filled with excitement and glee.Â
âHey, Pops. She just started getting ready so Iâm guessing weâll be there in like, an hour and a half?â His dad could practically hear Javiâs nerves and anxiety now beginning to build as the realization that he was hours away from proposing was finally starting to hit him like a ton of bricks.Â
âPerfect. Everything and everyone will be ready, donât worry, Mijo.â Chucho chuckled, trying to ease his sonâs tension.Â
âOkay.â Javiâs response was short and unassuring as he ran his free hand through his dark curls before resting his hand on his hip.Â
âJavier. Tiene planeada un dĂa mas perfecto para ella. AsĂ que respiremos profundamente, todo estĂĄ yendo bien. A ella le encantarĂa. Casi tanto como elle te ama.â (Javier, you have planned the most perfect day for her. Take a deep breath, it will all be okay. She will love it. Almost as much as she loves you). Javi took a long inhale, his dad 's words comforting him as his exhale followed.Â
âThanks, Dad.âÂ
âClaro, hijo (Of course, son). We will see you and your futura esposa (future wife) soon.âÂ
âTe verĂ© pronto. (Iâll see you soon) Bye.âÂ
Hearing the water from your shower turn off, Javi rushed back into the kitchen, speed washing every dish and pan to make sure it looked like he had made good on his promise to clean up after himself while you were getting ready in the bathroom. With the dishwasher full and running, Javi made his way down the hall to see you standing in front of the bathroom mirror, wrapped in your towel, and starting to put on your makeup. He couldnât help but gawk at you- Javi watching you get ready had become a staple in your relationship very early on, the two of you talking as Javi rested his hip on the counter, or sat on the lid of the toilet seat, smiling to himself, in awe of every beautiful part of you. But there was something about the way that Javi was staring at you right now as you peeked your head out of the bathroom that made your heart flutter. It wasnât the Iâd fuck you right now against the bathroom counter look that had become just as much of a staple as Javi watching you get ready, it wasnât even the sweet, flirty look heâd give you when he just wanted to let you know how cute you were. The way Javi looked at you as you stood there in your fluffy towel, makeup half done and hair wet and tangled from the shower was a look that put butterflies in your stomach. He looked at you like you were the only person in the world. That he didnât care if anyone else existed beside you. That you were the only person he ever wanted to look at like this.Â
âWhatâs that look for?â You blushed, setting down your mascara to stare back at him.Â
âYouâre just- Fuck. Youâre so beautiful, Osita. Everything about you. Iâm so lucky.â Javiâs words were soft and gentle, his sweet brown eyes making you melt as they soaked in every inch of you.Â
âDoes Thanksgiving always make you this sappy?â You giggled, biting down on your lip before turning back to the mirror. âThanks, Jav. I hope you know I feel equally as lucky. Now go get your cute butt in the shower so we donât have to make your dad wait any longer. I need to find the loosest fitting outfit I have so I can make room for when I eat my bodyweight in mashed potatoes.âÂ
By the time Javi was finished getting ready, you were already out in the kitchen wrapping up the pies you had made last night to safely get to Chuchoâs without any sneaky tampering from Javi.Â
âWell, you look handsome.â You smirked, watching Javi walk down the hallway in one of his dark washed pairs of tight jeans, paired with a tan button up and black jacket overtop of it. Javiâs jaw just about dropped as he watched you make your way out from around the counter, showing off the cute, burnt orange dress you had put on over your cream colored turtleneck.Â
âMe? Jesus Christ, look at you, Osita.â You giggled as you pressed up on your tiptoes, giving him a quick kiss as you draped your arms over his neck.Â
âOh shhhh. Thank you, Jav. You ready to leave?â You smiled up at him, Javi praying you couldnât feel how fast his heart was racing as he caged his chest against yours, thinking about the last drive he was ever about to make with you before you went from girlfriend to fiancĂ©.Â
âIâm ready whenever you are.âÂ
âCan I trust you to carry the other pie on the way down to the car without eating any of it?â You laughed, rolling your eyes as you reached over the counter to hand him the tin foil covered dessert.Â
âYes, you can trust me. I think I left my phone in the bedroom, let me just go grab it really quick and then we can go, okay?â You nodded at him as he quickly made his way back to your room, cell phone already tucked away in his pants when he put on his jeans 15 minutes ago. He looked over his shoulder to check and make sure you hadnât followed behind, pulling out the ring box one last time, taking a deep breath before giving it a little squeeze and stashing it back in his pocket.Â
It was really fucking happening.Â
As the two of you began your drive to what you assumed was Chuchoâs, Javi turned up the volume of the CD he had picked out to play in the car, âEverywhereâ by Fleetwood Mac now bumping through the speakers. He reached over the center console, intertwining your fingers with his as he grabbed your hand, smiling over at you as the melodic intro began. âThis song always makes me think of the first night I ever stayed over at your apartment. All you had to eat was fuckinâ mac and cheese.â
âOh my God, I remember that. I was so embarrassed because I had nothing else to eat and I didnât want you to think I was a crazy person who only ate like a 10 year old. God, that feels like forever ago.â Running your free hand over your face, the two of you laughed over the melodic soundtrack playing in the background, the memory of that night making your heart grow warm.Â
âI guess. Honestly, it still almost feels like it was yesterday. I just remember how fucking nervous I was the whole goddamn night.â
âWith how many times we fucked that night, you really didnât seem nervous.â You giggled, rubbing your thumb over the rough skin of his hand interlaced with yours.Â
âI was. I was so nervous I was gonna fuck something up, because I knew I was already so fucking in love with you, and it scared the shit out of me. No one else has ever made me feel like you do. I knew from that day on I never wanted to live without you.âÂ
âWell, if it makes you feel any better, I felt the exact same. Weâve come a long way since then, huh?â The two of you smiled at each other as you leaned your head over to rest on Javiâs shoulder, Javi pressing a tender kiss in your hair, the sweet and familiar smell of your shampoo flooding him with comfort, easing his nerves just a touch as changed course from his usual route to the ranch, making you perk back up in confusion.Â
âSince when do we go this way to your dadâs house? Weâve never gone this way before.â You questioned, a puzzled look spreading across your face.Â
âI know. Just trust me, okay?â He grinned softly, giving you a reassuring squeeze of his hand.Â
âOkay?â You replied wearily, giving Javi a suspicious look. âWhat the hell are you up to?âÂ
âOsita. Just trust me.âÂ
âFine, I should know better than to ask questions at this point, I know youâre not gonna tell me anything. Do I get a hint?âÂ
âNo, you dork.âÂ
âYouâre lucky youâre cute.â You grumbled, resting your head back against Javi as he drove the two of you down an unfamiliar path, the sounds of Fleetwood Mac filling the comfortable silence between you.Â
It wasnât long until the road you were on started to become vaguely familiar, peeking out the window of the truck to try and piece together why your surroundings felt so recognizable. It wasnât until you saw the white âFor Saleâ sign, now covered with âSOLDâ in bright, red letters, peeking out of the tree lined driveway that you began to put two and two together. Â
âWait⊠Isnât this the place that we went to go see for Steveâs friend a couple weeks ago?â You asked, looking back at Javi as he slowed the speed of the truck, beginning to turn into the driveway.Â
âMmmhhmm.â Javi nodded, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel.Â
âIt- It looks like he must have bought it, so why are we back here? Are you sure heâs fine with us just like, showing up here?â You were absolutely stumped as to why you were back at the plot of land you had gone to check out for Steveâs friend after his Halloween party until you rounded the corner along the âFor Saleâ sign.Â
âYeah, I think heâll be okay with it.â Javi smirked, gazing over at you.Â
Then all of a sudden, it hit you like a ton of bricks.Â
The conversation you had overheard between Javi and Steve at the Halloween party.Â
The reason why he had asked you to come look at this place for Steveâs buddy.Â
Why âSOLDâ was plastered over the for sale sign. Â
You could physically feel your jaw drop, hanging open so wide, you wouldnât have been surprised if it had dropped through the floor of Javiâs truck. Your eyes grew as you looked over at Javi, your head darting back between him and the trees lining the driveway, practically frozen in shock.Â
âJaviâŠâ You whispered, your breath shaky and trembling from the butterflies building in your stomach. His silence had never felt more comforting, simply smiling back at you before putting the truck into park, hopping out to make his way to the driverâs side, opening the door for you. You quickly wiped your palms against your dress, feeling how sweaty they had become from the nerves building inside you before sliding out of your seat, walking hand in hand with Javi the last few feet down the driveway before the trees opened to the open, grassy field hidden behind it, just as charming and beautiful as you remembered it.Â
You had been so focused on the view in front of you, you hadnât even noticed Javi tugging your hand over towards the old oak tree on the side of the property, wrapped in twinkling string lights and pictures of the two of you. Under the tree, a big plaid blanket laid spread across the grass, covered in piles of cute pillows and surrounded by a few candles and vases of beautiful orange and red flowers resting on the ground. You felt your heart race, knots of anticipation building in your stomach as you quickly began to realize the âSOLDâ sign wasnât the only thing Javi was trying to surprise you with.Â
Holy fuck, he was going to propose to you, too.Â
You used every last brain cell in you to try and form anything close to a coherent sentence, but the best you could get out as the two of you reached the blanket under the towering tree was a jumbled mess of tangled words, spilling from your mouth. âJavi- What, are- Baby, is this- Javi, I, I- Holy shit.â Your hands trembled as you reached out for one of the pictures hung around the base of the tree- One Chucho must have taken one of the days the two of you were out on the ranch, Javi carrying you on his back as the two of you laughed at each other with stupid grins on your face. You could practically feel your heart beating out of your chest, tears already beginning to well behind your eyes as you looked up at Javi.
âThat oneâs always been one of my favorites. You look so happy, Osita.â He whispered, rubbing his hand along your back as the two of you stared at the photo, Javi pressing a soft kiss against your head, letting out a shaky exhale as he pulled away. Grabbing your hand, he turned towards you, the Adamâs apple of his throat bobbing as he swallowed, trying to compose himself before he spoke again. âAll I ever want is for you to be happy, baby.âÂ
You let out an audible gasp, covering your trembling hands over your mouth as you watched Javi lower himself down onto one knee, tears welling behind those sweet brown eyes as he smiled up at you with that familiar gaze you realized you would now never have to live without.Â
âOsita. Baby, you make me the happiest man in the world. I donât think I ever truly understood what it felt like to be this happy until I met you. I couldnât be more thankful that your clumsy ass bumped into me all those months ago, because there hasnât been a day thatâs gone by since Iâve met you that my life hasnât been better, because youâre in it. Youâre everything I never knew I needed, and everything I never thought I deserved. You are the most beautiful, kind, and loving woman Iâve ever met. Youâre also the most stubborn, headstrong, independent woman I have ever met, and I love every perfect part of you that makes you the person I feel head over heels in love with. From the moment I met you, I couldnât imagine how I could spend the rest of my life without you. I wanna spend forever with you, Osita. I wanna give you the world. I wanna start our lives together here. I wanna build you a house, I wanna fill it with as many kids as you want, I wanna spend the rest of my life here with you, because if I have that, thatâs all Iâll ever need. Youâre all Iâll ever need.âÂ
Javiâs hands shook as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the little velvet box that had been hidden inside, carefully opening the case to reveal the beautiful, oval cut diamond, nestled between little clusters of smaller stones, resting on top of a dainty and simple gold band. You could feel the tears streaming down your grinning cheeks, still trying to comprehend what was happening as Javi held the ring up towards you.Â
âOsita, I love you so much. Te amo mĂĄs que a mi vida (I love you more than life itself). Baby, will you marry me?âÂ
Javi could barely finish the question before you were jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could, sobbing into his shoulder as the two of you fell onto the blanket, bodies tangled in each other as you laid on top of him.Â
âOf course. Of course Iâll marry you, you idiot. I love you so much.âÂ
You laughed through your tears, grabbing his face, your lips meeting in an electric moment that made everything else around you stand still. You could feel each otherâs grins against your parted mouths, laying back down on top of Javi squeezing him as tightly as you could to try and ground yourself in the reality of what had just happened.Â
âI think Iâm supposed to put the ring on your finger now, you dork.â He laughed, pushing you both to sit up as he grabbed the case that had landed next to him on the blanket, cautiously taking out the ring, his thumb rubbing over the knuckles of your outstretched hand as he slipped onto your finger, the both of you staring at it in awe.Â
âJavi⊠Baby, holy shit this is beautiful. How did you- When did you-âÂ
âIt was my momâs.â He grinned, biting down on his lip as he watched the ring sparkle on your finger before looking back up at you, the tears now building in both your eyes again. âWhen uh- In the end, before she passed, she always told me if I ever found someone, I could have it. I kinda wrote it off because I didnât think Iâd ever find anyone, let alone find you. I know I never really asked you what you wanted or liked, but-âÂ
âJavi. Itâs perfect.â You cupped his cheeks, your face beaming with joy as you shook your head still in absolute shock. As if the ring on your finger wasnât enough, you looked back out at the green grass swaying in the gentle breeze, reminded of the fact that not only did Javi want you to be his wife, but this man had just told you he was about to build you a fucking house. âYou really bought this? Weâre gonna build a house here? This is all ours?âÂ
âItâs all ours, Hermosa. Whatever you want, baby, Iâll build it for you.â Javi's face lit up watching the excitement radiating from you, your eyes darting back between the ring on your finger and the beautiful plot of land in front of you, trying to take everything in.Â
âYouâre being serious? Like actually? Weâre really gonna build a house here?â You asked, still trying to process.Â
âYes, seriously.â Javi nodded, smiling at you as you shook your head in disbelief, burying your head in your hands and squealing before shooting up, running over to the middle of the empty plot grass, spinning in a circle, imagining the possibilities of what was to come.Â
âSo we can have a big kitchen? And huge windows so itâs always sunny inside? And a porch on the back deck that we can watch the sunset? And a-âÂ
âBaby, we can have whatever you want.â Javi chuckled to himself as you stood there for a moment, taking it all in before running back over to him, once again, tackling him to the ground pressing frantic kisses against his lips.Â
âWe can finally have a bedroom big enough for a king size bed? Where we can hang out all day? And watch the sunrise? And have plenty of space to fuck my husband?â You smirked, feeling Javiâs cock twitch against the denim of his jeans as you laid on top of him. Javi let out a low groan as you hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to palm at the bulge straining against his zipper.Â
âSay it again.â He rasped, planting hot, wet kisses along your neck, nipping at your skin.Â
âMy husband. Youâre gonna be my husband, Javier Peña.âÂ
Husband.Â
Oh fuck, did that do something to do him hearing you say that out loud. Â
Grabbing you by the hips, he quickly flipped you over, your back resting on the blanket as he hovered over you, trailing kisses down every inch of your body before his palms pushed up the hem of your dress, grasping at the meat of your thighs. He cupped his hand against your core, already feeling the wetness that had begun to pool in your underwear, carefully hooking his fingers under the waistband before sliding it down your legs.Â
âAgain, baby. Say it again.â He mewled, running his fingers between your folds, collecting your arousal as his thumb circled around your clit, making your breath shake as you spoke again.Â
âHusband. Fuck, Javi, Iâm gonna be your wife.âÂ
Now that, that one really did something to him.Â
âYouâre gonna be my fucking wife.â Javiâs tongue darted between his parted lips as he sunk his two fingers deep inside you, making you moan beneath him. âIâm gonna be your fucking husband. Iâm gonna take such good care of you, Osita. Iâll give you everything. Anything you want, Hermosa, Iâll give it to you.â His touch had you writing, bucking your hips against his hand as he thumbed at your sensitive bundle of nerves. His fingers curved ever so slightly, pressing against the soft spongy spot that made your pussy throb even more intensely than it already was. Javiâs forehead rested against yours, your noses brushing against each other as your words escaped from the soft, smirking curve of your lips, thinking about Javiâs promise.Â
âAnything? Youâre gonna give me a house, your last nameâŠyou gonna give me a baby, too? Make you a husband and a daddy?âÂ
Holy shit, you were really trying to fucking kill him.Â
Just the thought of that alone was enough for Javi to let out an audible groan, biting down on his tongue and taking a deep breath to compose himself so that he didnât bust right that second. âJesus ChristâŠâ he growled, quickly removing his fingers, already soaked with your juices, making you whimper at the rapid loss. Frantically, he undid his belt buckle, sliding his pants and boxers down his thighs to reveal his already hard cock, his tip red and leaking with precum. That was all it took before Javi was stroking himself, lining his tip up with your entrance and flushing his hips against yours, feeling his length bottom all the way out against your cervix, making you whine at his fullness inside you. Youâd be lying if you said the idea alone hadnât made you so wet and worked up, that even though Javi had barely spent any time working you open with his fingers, he still slid into your heat effortlessly. Â
âFuckkkk meeee, Osita.â He grunted, already beginning to press into you at a rushed, sloppy pace. You had come to find out that while Javi had impressive stamina, there were times that the little things you said or did to him made him absolutely lose his mind. It would leave him so worked up and on edge, that his endurance flew out the window, barely standing a chance at lasting more than a few quick minutes buried inside you. Given your comment, the rate he was snapping his hips into yours, and that all too familiar lustful look in his eyes, you already knew he was a goner.Â
You grasped at fist fulls of his jacket, digging your fingers into the fabric as Javi punched deep into the spot that made your vision go white, feeling your cunt already beginning to clench around his cock as he rubbed his fingers frantically along your clit. âYou want me to give you a baby, Osita? Shit- Iâll give you as many babies as you want. Weâll fill up every fucking room in this house. Iâd fuck a baby into right now if I could. Youâd like that, huh?â Javi hissed through gritted teeth, his strokes rapid and punishing as he punched against your g-spot, watching you whimper beneath him.Â
âFuckkk, yes, Javi- ahhhh- Jesus, I want it so bad. I want everything with you, baby.âÂ
âFuck, Hermosa, Iâm close- I can feel how close you are too, baby. So tight and wet. Give it to me, Osita. Want you to cum all over my cock before I fuck you full of me.â With a few more strokes, you could feel the tingle building at the base of your spine as your orgasm ripped through you, euphoria flooding through your veins across your body. Your moans and cries as you tightened around Javiâs dick had him moments away from coming undone just as fast as you had, his rambling becoming just as fast and boundless as his last few pumps inside of you.Â
âFuck, youâre gonna be such a good wife- oh shit- such a good mom. I canât until we can have a family to raise here- I canât believe-ahhhh- I canât believe your mine forever. Canât believe I get to marry you, fuck a baby into you, holy shit, fuck, fuck- ohhhhhhh-â With one final thrust, Javi buried himself deep in your hilt, milking himself of every last drop of his spend, slumping into you, your chests rising and falling in unison as you both came down from your blissed out highs before pulling out from the wet mess between you.Â
âWell fuck meâŠâ You giggled, running your hand over your face, smirking back up at Javi.Â
âJesus Fucking Christ, Osita. Iâd apologizing for fucking busting so quick, but goddamn, if you keep saying shit like that, I swearâŠâ The two of you laughed, Javi picking up the hand covering your face, kissing the ring now wrapped around your finger before leaning down to meet your lips in a long, tender kiss.Â
âYou liked that, huh?â You smirked up at him, biting down on your lip as he nipped at your ear, his voice low and raspy as his hot breath pressed against your skin.Â
âBaby, if you keep talking like that, I swear to God, Iâm gonna find a way to beat your birth control and fuck a baby into you right this second.âÂ
âI meannnnn, I wouldnât be mad about it. You better stop saying shit before I run home and toss my birth control pills out the window, never to be seen again. No, no, this is bad, Jav! We arenât even married yet, Jesus! We cannot be talking like this until we at least make that happen and we build this house. One step at a time.â You sighed, shaking your head and laughing to yourself as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear before swiping his thumb along your bottom lip.Â
âOne step at a time.â He repeated, softly gazing into your eyes, his sweet chocolate brown stare making you melt beneath him. âI love you so fucking much, Osita.â Â
âTe amo hasta la luna y de regreso, Javier Peña.â (I love you to the moon and back). I still canât believe you did all this for me. I would have been happy with anything, but a proposal and surprise house combination is pretty fuckinâ tough to beat. Thank you, Javi. For everything. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I honestly still canât believe this, oh my God.âÂ
âThereâs still one more surprise.â Javi grinned, his comment making you sit up in shock.Â
âJavi. Seriously? How could there possibly be any more surprises? Did you get me a fucking unicorn too?âÂ
âLast one, I promise.âÂ
Javi grunted as he pushed himself up to stand, extending his arm down to you to help pull you towards him. You couldn't help but wrap your arms around him, squeezing your body against the warm familiar space of his, staring out into the blank canvas that would be yours and Javiâs home. The two of you stood there for a moment in silence, smiles stretched wide across your faces as you held each other in the crisp November breeze, feeling like the only two people in the world to exist. No one but you and him. You had Javier Peña forever, and you were never letting go.Â
As you had finally come to grips with the reality of what had just happened on the actual car ride over to the Peña ranch, you could feel your head spinning with questions as to how in the world Javi had managed to pull all of this off.Â
âWait okay, so when did you get the ring? You hid it really well, I had no idea you even had it. Did you set all of this stuff up? When the hell did you go buy this beautiful piece of land weâre about to build a house on? How long have you been-âÂ
âJesus Hermosa, one at a time.â Javi chuckled, resting his hand on your thigh to try and slow your interrogation as he drove.
âSorry, sorry. I still canât believe you did all of this, I wanna know all the details now! Okay, the ring- Iâll start there. God, itâs so pretty.â You beamed, holding out your hand in front of you to stare at it.Â
âI got it from my dad after my birthday party. Believe me, I would have done this sooner, but all the stuff with buying the fucking land was a pain in my ass, and took way longer than I thought it was going to. I put the offer in right before we left for Chicago, and didnât close on everything until like 2 weeks ago. â Javi sighed, shaking his head.Â
âYeah Jav, Iâm SO upset you didnât get this beautiful piece of land to build our dream house on and propose to me a few weeks sooner, Iâm calling it all off.â You joked, your voice oozing with sarcasm as Javi rolled his eyes at you.Â
âPendejo.âÂ
âHey, youâre the one who asked to marry me. When did you decide building a house was gonna be a part of this whole plan?â You asked, smirking over at Javi, giving him a little nudge across the center console.Â
âFor a while now. I looked at a few houses after I got the ring, but nothing felt right. My dad built our house on the ranch when he and my mom got married, and after talking with him, it was the only thing that made sense. I want our house to be everything we want. Everything you want.â He smiled, tracing his thumb in soft circles along your leg.Â
âJavi, we could live in a cardboard box together and I would be happy. I donât care as long as Iâm with you. Although, Iâm not mad about it.â The both of you laughed to yourselves, stupid grins on your faces. âSo like, are you gonna build it? Not that I donât trust your construction skills, but that seems like a lotta house for one man.âÂ
âJesus, no. My cousin Dannyâs a contractor- I talked to him when I was thinking about doing all of this. He helped me find the place and already agreed to start building whenever weâre ready. I told him obviously we would help whenever we could, and my dad has already offered to help too- heâs about to be over there every day, because heâs convinced the sooner the house is built, the sooner he gets his grandkids.âÂ
âI think he may be the most excited out of anyone.â You giggled, shaking your head. âSo he obviously knows about all this? Did he help with setting everything up?âÂ
âYeah, he had some help too.â Javi smiled as the two of you pulled into the driveway of the Peña ranch, the sun slowly beginning to set behind the horizon, the golden rays spilling in through the windows of his truck as he shifted it into park. He quickly got out, hopping around to your side of the car to open your door, taking your hand and helping you down after planting a soft kiss on your lips.Â
The two of you walked hand in hand up to the house, giddy with excitement to finally talk with Chucho about everything Javi had surprised you with today, almost forgetting that the 3 of you still had Thanksgiving to celebrate on top of everything else. âOh shit, the pies!â You exclaimed, getting ready to run back to the truck before Javi grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.Â
âIâll go get them in a minute, letâs go inside, okay?â He insisted, dragging you back towards the house.Â
âJavi, itâll take like 2 seconds, I-â
âOstia. Just go inside, okay?âÂ
âFine, fine!â You laughed, reaching your hand down to twist open the doorknob, looking up at Javiâs boyish grin. âI just donât understand why-âÂ
âOH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, THEYâRE HERE! AHHHHHHH HONEY!âÂ
You stood there for a moment, wondering who the hell was screeching at the top of their lungs, ambushing you in a hug that felt more like a death grip than anything else. It took a second before you processed the all too familiar voice and arms wrapped around your body, making your heart race and tears begin to fall down your face.Â
âWait, wha- Wait Mom?! What are you-â Â
âOh sweetheart, oh my God! BOYS! GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE! COME CONGRATULATE YOUR SISTER.â Your Mom shouted over your shoulder, still squeezing you in her arms, shaking you frantically. âJAVI, HONEY, AH WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR YOU!â Your mom shrieked, pulling Javi in for just as tight of a hug as the one you had just gotten a few seconds earlier before turning back to you, squeezing you again.Â
âWait, everyone- Mom, what the fuck? What are you- wait, what are you all doing here?â Finally beginning to come to, you pulled away from your mom to see not only Chucho, but your dad, brothers, and nieces all smiling back at your awestruck face.Â
âLanguage honey, Jesus, just because youâre getting married doesnât mean you get to swear at your mom.â She swatted at you, rolling her eyes.Â
You took another step back as your eyes darted between Javi and your family, your jaw hanging open in absolute shock. âBut when did you- how did- Wait, what is happening?â You ran your hands through your hair, head swiveling back and forth, looking for someone to explain how the hell your family had ended up here, at the Peña Ranch in Laredo, Texas.Â
Shuffling up behind your mom, your dad greeted you, pulling you in for a quick hug and little noogie on your arm before doing the same to Javi, standing between the two of you as he spoke. âOnce this kid knew when he was gonna propose, he wanted to find a way for us to be there. He knew how much you didnât wanna miss Thanksgiving, which I donât fucking understand, I thought you were gettinâ a get outta jail free card from these idiots,â He gestured over at Charlie and David, shrugging in agreement before turning back to you, âJavi asked if we wanted to come down here for Thanksgiving so we could celebrate it and spend it with you. You found a good one, kiddo.â Â
âCongrats, asshat. If thereâs hope for you, then thereâs hope for us all, isnât there?â David snickered, giving you a playful punch before patting you on the back for a hug.Â
âTo say thereâs hope for you is generous.â You smirked at David, elbowing him back as Olivia squealed, running up to you with her arms outstretched, her patience running out as she waited for the grownups to finish talking.Â
âAUNTIE BEAR!âÂ
âCutie patootie!â You shrieked back, picking her up and spinning her around.Â
âAuntie Bear, did Mr. Javi do the surprise? Did you know that Mr. Chucho has cows?! And horses!? I got to go pet one and Brianna did too, but she was scared and cried, but I didnât âcause Iâm really brave!â Olivia beamed, giggling as you gave her one last twirl as you set her back down.Â
âYou got to go see the animals? Arenât they so cute? Yes, Mr. Javi did the surprise, it was a really good one.â You smiled back at Javi, tears welling in your eyes, wondering how your heart could feel any fuller.Â
âThis niñita y su hermana (little girl and her sister) took very good care of the animals this afternoon. Gracias, peque (thanks, little one).â Chucho grinned, reaching down to give Olivia a gentle high five as she bounced in excitement before looking back up at you. âOh mija. I am so happy for you both. Your family is a hoot, I will tell you that. I see where you get your spunk from.â All of you laughed as you wrapped your arms around Chucho.
âMr. Peña, thatâs a very nice way of calling us the biggest bunch of annoying idiots youâve ever met, so thank you.â Charlie remarked, making everyone laugh equally as hard as he leaned against you, holding your other niece, Brianna as he ruffled your hair. âIâm so happy for you, Cubby. Natalie says she wishes she could be here, but with the baby, she couldnât make it out.âÂ
âIâd ask if she was mad, but considering you got these two little monsters and yourself out of her hair, Iâm guessing sheâs kind of relieved. Tell her weâre excited to meet baby Lucas at Christmas. Thank you, Charlie.âÂ
Now that you had finally said hello to everyone, you turned back around to look at Javi, the look on his face only slightly smug as he winked at you, shaking your head back at him in disbelief. âYou are absolutely insane, you know that?â You tried to laugh through your tears, caging your chest against Javiâs as you hugged him, wondering how in the world you had ended up so goddamn lucky. âThank you, Javi. This is- I canât- I donât even know what to say. I love you so much.â Javi reached down, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face as he cupped his hand around your jaw, smiling out at your family before back down at you.Â
âI told you, Osita. You deserve everything. Iâm glad I get to spend forever trying to give it to you. I love you too.â He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips, quickly interrupted by the sounds of Oliviaâs disgust at the two of you.Â
âEw, thatâs really gross. Auntie Bear, do you have to kiss him now because youâre getting married? Maybe just do that when Iâm not here.â She grimaced, covering her eyes and sticking out her tongue. Your family burst out in laughter, only to be interrupted once again by your momâs excited screams.Â
âMARRIED! Honey, youâre getting MARRIED!âÂ
âJesus, Pam! Iâm right here! Youâre gonna blow out my fuckinâ ear drum!â Your dad winced, covering the sides of his head with his hands.Â
âYeah. Yeah, weâre getting married.â You replied to your mom, without breaking your stare up at Javi, your cheeks warm and full from the grins between them.Â
The rest of the night was spent full of joy and laughter as all of you gathered in the Peñaâs kitchen for Chuchoâs Thanksgiving feast, telling your family all about the surprises of your day, listening to them explain their antics of getting from Chicago to Laredo, how they had spent the day with Chucho at the ranch after helping set up for the proposal, and stories of Thanksgivings past, and the sweet memories of the family youâd wished could have been here to celebrate. The hours passed by like seconds as you ate more than your fair share of food, (excluding the pie you had made, considering Javi and your brothers practically inhaled it from the moment it was set out on the table), and laughing harder than ever as your family taught Javi and Chucho how to play âChaos Cutleryâ- your familyâs version of the game âSpoonsâ, which wasnât really that much different besides the element of danger involved with your competitive-ass siblings.
 You truly didnât think that your heart could get any fuller as you looked around to see all of the people you loved more than anyone in the world all gathered in once place, celebrating the happiest day you had ever had with the man you were going to get to call yours for the rest of your life. As the hours of the night grew later and later, you found yourself fighting off the sleep from your amazing, but exhausting day, not wanting the dream that had been today to come to an end. It wasnât until Javi noticed you softly snoring against his shoulder as you were sitting on the couch, realizing the only ones left awake were him and your brothers, deep in an argument about who would win in a fight between 100,000 chickens and 10 dinosaurs, that he realized that it was probably time to get you home.Â
âHermosa.â He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. âBaby, letâs get you home, okay?âÂ
âIâm awake. I donât want today to be done.â You grumbled, half-asleep, eyes still closed shut as you curled into Javiâs lap.Â
âOsita, itâs 1 in the morning, everyone else is asleep too. Your familyâs here all weekend, baby, I promise weâll get to spend lots of time with them, we gotta get you home before I fall asleep, too. Câmon.â He chuckled to himself, watching you scrunch your face, trying to wake yourself up as he helped to pull you off the couch. Javi tried his best to say goodbye to his dad to let him know you were leaving, even though he had already been sound asleep for the past hour in his chair with Olivia and Brianna on either side of him, the trio up well past their usual bedtime. Javi's heart fluttered at the sight, watching the fabric of your families lives intertwining to become one, fitting perfectly together. After you and your family said your half coherent goodbyes for the night, Javi helped hoist you up into the truck before the two of you headed back to the apartment.Â
Curling over the center console to rest your head against Javiâs shoulder, a sleepy smile spread across your face tangling your hand in his as he traced gentle circles with his thumb along your skin.Â
âJaviâŠâ You mumbled, your eyelids heavy with sleep as your blinks grew slower and slower.Â
âYeah, baby?âÂ
âThis was the best day I think Iâve ever had in my entire life. No, I know it was the best day Iâve ever had in my entire life. I canât believe you wanna marry me. And build me a house. And that you made sure my family was here to celebrate. I love you so much, Javi. Thank you for everything. Youâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me. I canât wait to spend the rest of my life with you.âÂ
âTodayâs the best day Iâve ever had too, Osita.â He grinned, pulling your intertwined hand with his up to his mouth, pressing a tender kiss on your knuckles. âI canât wait to spend the rest of my life with you too, Hermosa. I canât imagine it without you. Te amo con todo mi corazĂłn (I love you with all of my heart).â Javi let out a content sigh, pausing for a moment, waiting for response. It didnât take him long to realize that you were already back asleep, the sweet sounds of your snores against his sleeve making him laugh to himself. âDulces sueños, mi amor. Soy el hombre mĂĄs afortunado del mundo. (Sweet dreams, my love. I am the luckiest man in the whole world.)Â
As Javi spent the rest of the drive with you propped up against his arm, he couldnât help but smile at the beautiful gold band wrapped around your finger, resting in his lap.
Before you, Javier Peña didnât really have much to live for. He didnât think heâd deserved to. He was tired and broken, disappointed in the man that he had become. Now, you had become his everything. His light, his hope, the thing that made life worth living. You had taken his broken and battered pieces and put him back together. You had made him whole again. On a Wednesday in May, Javier Peña had fallen head over heels with you, the woman who would forever change his life for the better. And on Thursday in late November, the woman who had forever changed him, was now his forever, too.
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