#but in regard to the selfish thing

[mainfaggot]

existence is so inherently selfish isn't it...?

#sometimes it feels like a sin to have been born at all. if that makes any sense. -> catholics start cheering and clapping #anyway no . that applies to my personal baggage specifically not to all of humanity. don't worry i am not that insane #but in regard to the selfish thing #i read this quote or excerpt of a philosophical text #that was like: “selfish isn't a negative thing necessarily because nothing can exist without the self” or something. basically that #there are many selves many people and therefore communities #so being selfish is necessary in some capacity #essentially that there needs to be balance between individualist and collectivist values in order to exist peacefully and flourish #i think it's just so confusing to navigate that. where is the fucking line. where is the balance. how do you achieve it? #how do you absolve yourself of the guilt? #if you're doing something for you how do you feel like you aren't evil? #if it's somewhat at the cost of others but it feels necessary. how do you know you're not at fault? #and how do you not feel guilty for coexisting and accepting love and care? how do you not feel like you're taking more than you can return? #how do you feel deserving? #sorry im just. i have a lot of questions and a lot of internal agony lol #z.post

[grumpysunfish]

Can we like. Stop projecting modern day western class discussions into mdzs. Or better yet stop talking about class altogether since so many of you are clearly ill prepared for it.

I love mdzs for how complicated and different it is from what I'm used to and seeing all of that get whittled down into the same old tired money/power = bad when it is so much more than that. It's a completely different system and culture. Western capitalist critiques isn't going to cut it people.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #This applies to many more character but I am the most familiar with his brand of discourse #I am completely in wei wuxian's side regarding saving the wens #Although I think he could have handled that way better #But if jiang cheng chose to save the wens at the risk of yunmeng jiang. I would not have been at his side #Jiang cheng's decision doesn't just affect him #it affects a whole sect #People depending on him #Why is this so hard to understand? Why is jiang cheng selfish for choosing to protect the people under him? #Shockers. Being responsible for a large group of people means there are thing you just can't do even if it is the right thing #Reputation is in fact important. Isn't mdzs partly about that? Isn't that one of the things that killed wei wuxian? #Anyways I love you characters straining under the weight of their duties and responsibilities #They can never make me hate you #meta analysis

[ask-richard-jackdaw]

Richard,

I hope you don't mind, but I happened upon you deep in thought in the castle courtyard and...well, the sight took my breath away.

I used a Muggle contraption (I believe they call it a camera) to capture these still images. You look almost corporeal...

E 🖤

E, my dear,

I am most intrigued by this Muggle contraption, and even more so — by how well you were able to capture me and my heart with it. And what a coincidence! I must admit, I had no idea that anybody was there at the time as I was most likely preoccupied with matters regarding me... Well, you said it yourself, looking corporal. If you have the time, allow me to explain.

You see, for the past two weeks I have been experimenting with something known as ancient magic. I cannot really see it but I can feel it when I am somewhere near the source, and I can really feel it if I touch it. If I spend plenty of time doing just that and focusing on being corporal — I seem to become so! Well, whatever part of me is surrounded by magic anyway.

That photo you took — I believe it was the first time that I have attempted to fully step into the stream of magic a day or two ago. The reason I needed to conduct some experiments first is rather serious as well: when the magic starts sipping away (and it never holds for longer than one day) I... Well, I am yet to find a way to make the transition back to my ghostly form less painful. As much as I was craving to feel, I forgot that pain is an integral part of life as well.

Needless to say that as fun as being able to be me again was, by the time I walked all the way back to the castle in my human form (and I got lost so many times since I could not just fly above the land toward the castle, oops) I was so tired that I just fell asleep on a bench somewhere near that area your camera captured me. When I woke up — I was a ghost again. At the very least, whatever pain I might have gone through that night, I slept through it.

I do hope that you are doing well, my darling. The sight of me should not be taking your breath away but instead making your heart beat and your soul soar. I hope you continue working on those still images because I did not get a chance to look at myself in the mirror that night. You are my only witness and I am honoured to have you share that special moment with me.

Thinking of you, always,

Richard Jackdaw

P. S. May I hope that someday I would be granted permission to call you by your proper name, my lady E?

#richard jackdaw #The Real Boy Thursday #hogwarts legacy rp #hogwarts legacy #cuffmeinblack #asks #E #tw: death #Ah I was going to do my 3rd Journal entry today regarding my advancements with ancient magic #But your letter couldn't have come at a better time #I am sorry for hijacking your letter for my selfish reasons #I am forever in your debt #[I do not wish to truly resurrect Richard] #[But I do want to roleplay him as an alive character as much as a ghost] #[Was planning to set this whole thing up before I start reaching out to other blogs but you guys jumped on him in the best of ways] #[And I gave in] #[But the goal is: take both ghost and alive asks into account without having to explain how it's possible] #[As soon as Richard figures out his/magic's limitations he will no longer be addressing his experiments] #[I am here for fun rp and everyone is free to pick any other reason as to why Richard is sometimes alive XD doesn't really matter to me] #[Any alternative universe works as long as you somehow manage to convey it in your asks!]

[rhymaes]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook // Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red

(continuation of x)

#and YES I USED THE SAME PIC TO BEGIN HIS. BECAUSE WHERE HIS STORY BEGINS #IS WHERE LI LIANHUA’S ENDS AND GOD. HE THOUGHT THEY HAD FOREVER #fang duobing’s turn because time is rushing toward them!!! and he believed they had it and then didn’t and then did again #and then it’s—all gone. like a light snuffed out. there is always a dark darker than the dark you know #and what li lianhua believed he was freeing fang duobing from is what he will spend the rest of his life mourning #& it’s. you have enough time. and then you don’t. and then you do because he told you so and you wanted to believe him even after everything #so you did. and oh. it was so much worse to think you could have it. that you had it together. and then finding he knew it was never a #possibility to begin with because he exchanged his death for your life but he doesn’t understand he wrote the eulogy you will roam the wide #world with for the rest of your life without him #just. holy shit. it’s a cruelty that li lianhua truly does not believe is cruel. he believes it’s a blessing. and it’s the worst thing #fang duobing has ever experienced—not his father not his illness nor his run away marriage or obligation as a young master he hates—its this #ANYWAY. yeah. yeah. finished the book today so natural I had to take the last quote completely out of context for my own selfish reading for #them bc what can I say I’m a selfish reader in any regard #mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #li lianhua #li xiangyi #di feisheng

[doobea]

you know what’s nagi/reo coded? gon/killua from hxh correct me if im wrong bc i know im right

#doobea talks °��⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ #in regards to gon/nagi being selfish and doing things that benefit them #and killua/reo being extremely selfless to try and be by their side #yes or no … #does anyone here even watch hxh

[scarecrowbutch]

fionna and cake spoilers //

is everyone forgetting that in the letter betty LITERALLY said "i wish i could be by your side" and that's why simon said "i want you by my side" to her as a reference back to the letter and saying he wants that too???

#bear.txt #at spoilers #fionna and cake spoilers #adventure time spoilers #i keep seeing ppl say ohhh simon was selfish for saying that but dude was literally just saying he WANTED the same thing she did hello #sure he might not have been thinking too hard in regards to the bus thing but the by my side part isnt what ppl are sayinggggggggg

[celecaster]

Really seeing the parallels between how I have been treated literally like a wild animal now. Dangerous Feral Handle With Care as if humans aren't the ones capable of killing me if I defend myself from being repeatedly prodded. Also you're not cute. Nobody thinks you're cute. Domesticated animals are cute but not you. Maybe cuteness is a dumb as fuck value to the rest of you but it's truly such a personally valuable and compassionate assessment to make of me when people think of me as harmless.

#This is another one of the things that made me diverge from Before-Me and other super-smart people #The intelligent dwell on large grand-scale-vision ideas of meaningfully changing society/the world #And think of all your individual actions as having extreme (moral if not affective) weight #I don't think it's good to think of yourself as 'harmless' as an intrinsic characteristic of course #But my god did it fuck me over completely to always feel like every single thing I say or do is A Big Deal to everyone #That I have to know everything and care about everything and use my competence for the Greater Good because I 'can' #Not only is it not at all actually reflected in reality that all my decisions have that much weight to them #It's just... it really fucked me over! #Other people's choices don't matter but somehow mine do for some reason? #I don't care if it's selfish and a waste I really would rather do right by a few individuals than Cause Meaningful Change To The Masses #I feel like I'm treated as uniquely important and affective but in a way that makes me dangerous and worst of all #not only does it seem like nobody relates to me #this aspect seesm to be regarded by others as 'evidence' that I really have been a dangerous person all along

[amongie]

homeschool parents are so cruel, actually. peak "my child is my little barbie doll" behavior. i hope homeschool parents die

#very fringe case that ill accept is the child has personally requested to be taken out of school qnd even then #i have Opinions about how homeschooling should be handled #i am so mad about so many things regarding my upbringing but my schooling situation wasnt just a schooling thing #it was a social thing i was so isolated #i was educationally neglected #subjected to horrific things because of how my family is #i was around things i should never have been around #my schoolday could end because my mom needed a babysitter because she was suicidal or too high #it was so bad #fuck homeschool parents i hope for your sake that your god is real and that you die and wake up at the fiery gates of hell #while god recounts your crimes to you #and every single one of them will be about how selfish and disgusting you are to treat your child as àn extention of yourself #shut up luke #personal #homeschool parents dni

[darabeatha]

/ A.sclepius having Lichtenberg scars somewhere in his body from his myth when Zeus struck him with a thunderbolt― (x)

#;a.sclepius #I SAW THIS AND I WAS LIKE -HEAD ON HANDS- #kind of like how its common to think of i.zou having a scar all around his neck from his past life #/long story short of his myth; a.sclepius became such a skilled doctor that h.ades complained to z.eus that they just had to get rid of him #(this being out of fear that he would grant the key to immortality to humans) #he was healing everyone and basically disrupting the way things worked bc people did not die and they couldnt have this guy roaming around #so z.eus struck him down with lighting #and then a.sclepius' dad (apollo) was like noooo my sonnnn #and to ease his rage z.eus went like ok fine; and turned a.sclepius into a constellation #this is why in f.ate he has a dislike for the gods; he thinks that they get in the way of progress out of selfishness #his beef with a.pollo is more of a fate interpretation as i couldnt find records in regards to his feelings towards his mother #but i find that it gives him more background and its an interesting idea;; #coming back to the matter of scars- #if he did have them; i feel like he would feel bitterness upon seeing them in the mirror; like a sort of haunting memento mori #that if you take a step further the gods will take control over the fate of men despite themselves fearing it #of the irrationality of the gods; of that powerlessness; #he wouldnt cover them on purpose because he tends to think its pointless to wander in the past when there is so much to do in the present #and -for- the future #but deep down he -does- still feel spite and resentment and he does not forget #;dl

[brittlebutch]

brennan trend of characters who view their bodies not necessarily as themselves but as a Tool they can use to earn favor from / a place with other people (often as an Apology for who they are) has me thinking about Zelda's Ending of All Things vision again

#N posts stuff #eg: Sean who is most at peace Explicitly when he allows other people to order him around -> tool for others to use #or Nikhil who includes himself in the worldview of 'every living thing is Inherently selfish and cruel' and so uses his body for Sex #bc that's an act that can bring him some pleasure while also getting him Favors from other people bc he doesn't think anyone #would be willing to help him / be decent to him otherwise -> bargaining chip to earn favor #or Hob who views himself - as his superiors say - as a 'blunt instrument' wielded best by other people who are smarter than him #his entire self-perception is cornerstoned by his ability to follow orders regardless of what he wants -> tool for others to use #following this thread we have Zelda - whose Vision is defined only by a concert where she is just Tearing Through iterations of herself #we know she struggles w/ self-image and self-deprecation -> pondering the potential that Zelda ALSO sees her body as #something of a Tool she can use to gain favor / friendship bc she doesn't feel capable of offering any Social benefit to others #her body as a Shield she can put in front of her friends and a Weapon she can wield to defend them - regardless of the damage #she risks posing to herself -> Zelda tearing bloodily through her own body w/ no regard to the consequences bc What Else Does She #Have To Offer? ; so she can't stop Attacking and also can't stop Taking The Hits -> this building into the scene the maidens glimpse #Zelda who kills / dies for her friends bc she isn't worth anything outside of that -> bargaining chip to earn favor #interesting though how Zelda does not necessarily seem to Confront this as much as she Flees from it; due to the nature of #the gameplay focusing primarily on the Player Characters as opposed to Zelda as an NPC #the others find some degree of Peace w/ their vision but Zelda leaves snarling 'i Super don't like it here' as she flees from it #anyway i Will write a fic about this one day but first we have to Ponder it more lol

[mxdotpng]

though i don't think it's right to say the party didn't like luke before he changed. there are a lot of times where its obvious they do have some sort of attachment to him even if its obscured by how annoyed and/or frustrated he makes them. like when luke went back to baticul for the first time and everyone was trying to cheer him up and go sightseeing together, or when they were worried about him during their trip to choral castle. they were rightfully biased, as they saw the forefront of his behavior, but if they hadn't liked him at all they wouldn't have agreed to travel with him again, nor would their feelings after akzeriuth be so personal.

#.text #tales of the abyss #its fun bc their relation to him in like every scenario is Personal. #jade and guy is obvious. jade being the one to create replica's at all and feeling responsible and even guilty for many things #regarding luke. and guy being someone who raised luke. he had a lot of responsibility there too but i also believe he just #loved luke enough to the point that no matter what happened he would always be there to help. and wish for luke's safety. #tear feels partially responsible for them having been taken to malkuth and in turn for a lot of things that happened after #even if it wasnt entirely her fault. and seeing how luke was manipulated by van was probably personal to her too. #ion is self explanatory too i think. theyre both replicas and their feelings on the matter are very similar. ion was #also the first to actually See luke for what he was. and though i think anise was sticking around luke specifically for selfish reasons #at first i think his situation - the guilt. the betrayal. and the responsibility - all felt personal to her too. #natalia is similar i think. she feels partially responsible for how luke turned out as well as how she treated him #even if he wasnt the nicest back. #i also think their feelings on akzeriuth changed a lot over time - starting at their deep anger where they probably thought #we were there. we could have stopped it and we could have stopped HIM. #to something else. the anger is still there and it probably always will be but its kind of easy to notice how they became #a lot less completely brutal about it as time went on. they probably realized on their own why everything really happened #the anger will always be justified but its clear they all feel a little guilty about it. some more than others #though the 'more' in that sense is a lot Less justified but thats more because nobody in this cast #is mentally okay. so thats neither here nor there.

[ruinikaido]

i really wish it didnt feel like im poisoning myself whenever i have a close relationship with someone but its okey

#i would say i feel bad for people who choose to be close to me but i honestly dont but thats probably a bad thing in and of itself i get #praised for my kindness and supposed self regulation slash awareness but i dont think that matters when im actuallyso selfish and possessiv #regarding the people i like the most . Yknow !?

[serkonans]

i’m going to say something extremely unpopular

#oisín.txt #physical abuse tw #i don’t think cheating is always morally wrong or indicative of a someone being a terrible person #i understand why it’s such a hair trigger topic for people #and i think like. it’s never acceptable to harm someone in that way when you can easily communicate and like #either resolve whatever is driving you toward something so drastic or choose to leave the relationship altogether #i certainly feel that in most cases cheating is absolutely abhorrent #but #i also feel #that there are people who have been through really shitty stuff and make selfish and impulsive decisions from a place of deep rooted fear #and those people are acting in a way thats morally wrong and should be held accountable but are not necessarily like #evil people who can never grow and be better #and i feel like there are abuse situations that make cheating a form of escape and a source of safety for the cheater #if someone faces physical threat from their partner and cheats as an escape (figurative or literal) i honestly don’t think that’s wrong #personally i cheated twice on the same person when i was in hs and the first time was right after i agreed to date him #this was a guy who had bullied me and spread malicious lies about me for YEARS. and the person i cheated with was my ex who was literally #stalking and threatening me. i was terrified of them both in different ways and i acted without regard for either of them but i don’t feel #like that makes me a bad person. i did a bad thing. but even now 10+ years later people see me as less trustworthy for it #it’s frustrating honestly. people are complicated and so by nature relationships will be too #and i just don’t feel that cheating is Always black and white #even some forms of physical violence are grey areas #i’ve hit a partner before. does it make me abusive? does your answer change if the reason i hit him was bc he’d locked me in a room #and pinned me down so that i couldn’t escape and i was trying to get away? #anyway this wasnt prompted by anything personal actually lmao #i just am watching love is blind and matt gives me abuser red flags like crazy and i have to wonder if he’s like this bc his ex cheated #OR if she cheated bc he’s like this

[boobchuy]

I wish there were more hints that 3a was the last time we would get Anne and the Plantars as a unit together before the finale, excluding RoE. I'm also annoyed they made Sprig's Birthday, the last episode in the series dedicated explicitly to Spranne, more skippable than a Spider-Man parody episode. Sorry to rant, I just have mixed feelings on how shoved into the backgrounds the Plantars got in 3B.

*slamming my fists on the table* s3a and s3b would've been nicer to have their own season

#talking to frogs #I think I talked about it only once here but before s3b came out one of my legitimate fears were the plantars being deigned less important #than the girls ;; #I was haply to get them fighting against the herons to protect the boonchuys #and I will always regard their goodbye scene in the hardest thing to be their most impactful moment for me #but yeah #call me selfish w how they're almost in every single episode #but I wish there was more w them T-T

[longagoitwastuesday]

I keep thinking of that reply in my Odysseus/Agamemnon post about how I regard differently Odysseus' and Agamemnon's actions, while acknowledging that at times Agamemnon is written as a sweet man and Odysseus is always straight up shitty, and how it was taken as some sort of defense for Agamemnon and as a form of pointing out the double standard; and that wasn't at all what the post was about for me, even though I can see where they were coming from. To be honest, given I didn't imagine it would spread anywhere other than my own blog, I didn't explain myself very well (or at all).

The fact is that when I talked about Odysseus not caring about hurting someone else's child to start and end a war I was indeed comparing his actions to Agamemnon's, but my words about supporting Odysseus' wrongs and cheering him in his terrible actions, while in a joking tone, weren't entirely a joke. I do think that Odysseus does some very shitty acts, and some quite terrible ones depending on the sources. That's a fact, that he does is at the core of his characterisation and it's what makes him so much fun; but not even when he is at his most cruel does he harm his family, his own son. Agamemnon, while sweet and loving at times in some texts, at his worst is willing to sacrifice Iphigenia. When readers regard with more sympathy Odysseus over Agamemnon despite both being responsible for children dying, I don't think there's a double standard in this aspect at all considering it's never his own kid Odysseus harms. And that's the key, I think.

Odysseus and Agamemnon have very different priorities, a very different view on loyalty and duty. It could be said that Agamemnon acts out of selfishness, but it could also be read in a kinder light, saying that Agamemnon is ruled by the gods first, and by his role as head of the achaeans; Agamemnon is not entirely himself. In opposition we see Odysseus acting perhaps mainly for himself and his own family and men; yes, he is a king, but he has not the role Agamemnon has. As a consequence, Agamemnon submits his family's wellbeing to the war, to the gods, while Odysseus stops the plow before hurting Telemachus but is (depending on the source) the cause of Iphigenia's sacrifice and Astyanax's death.

Both Odysseus and Agamemnon have reasons to support their actions, and both can be sympathised with; it's fiction after all. When it comes to fiction, at the end of the day which character a reader is drawn to or sympathises with is mainly an issue of personal taste, but I suppose it also implies a certain level of one's own views or preferences on morals, what makes us find certain actions more justifiable, or tasteful (perhaps that's a more accurate word), than others. Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter, no matter how sympathetic or understandable the reason, generally sits worse on people than Odysseus doing the same with someone else's kids, because they're someone else's. This different emotional reaction they provoke has place not just metanarratively, but also inside the very story; it is narratively significant, given it determines how their arrival home plays out, how their wives react to them, and thus their futures. Ultimately it determines whether they live or die.

I think both terrible acts go in line wonderfully with each characterisation, showcasing the role they hold in their world, what they value, what they care for, what they're willing to sacrifice for themselves and the others, how much of their own they're willing to give and bend. While looking at the wider picture it could perhaps be drawn that Agamemnon is the better person out of the two, but Odysseus' selfish actions are perhaps easier to empathise with, especially from a modern viewpoint. Odysseus is treacherous and prone to betrayal, but not against his own; Agamemnon follows the rules of the gods. How fitting in that context that Odysseus doesn't die at the end of his story, that he cheats the death heroes so often are fated to, almost as if cheating the narrative itself, bending the rules of the world he is ascribed to; how fitting in the context of those texts that point towards Sisyphus being his father. But that's another topic, and I've already talked a lot.

#Don't get me wrong. Odysseus is super shitty and this is a 'pick your poison' kind of situation #But I don't really think there's a double standard when it comes to the kids situation given that Odysseus doesn't sacrifice his own kid #I really think that's what lies at the core of this. Does that make him shittier and more selfish and a worse person? Actually yeah perhaps #But we are no kings with thousands of people depending on our decision yet cringe at the idea of hurting people close to us #It feels like betrayal. And this is where the moral preference takes the role. Which do you prefer? The one that would betray their family #for the greater good or the one who'd sell the world for their family and themselves? It's interesting because #while in fiction the first option is often the most frown upon while selfish actions for the beloved are easy to sympathise with‚ #in reality these are usually worse regarded. I didn't want to go there because I already wrote so much it didn't fit in the tags #but I actually think the same thing happens with Galahad/Lancelot. Heathcliff/Edgar I'd say has a somewhat similar situation going on #There are many many examples but mainly I was thinking of Galahad and Lancelot #So this is not an 'Odysseus did nothing wrong'. This is an 'Odysseus did many things very wrong but he didn't kill his son #so while both him and Agamemnon were the cause of death of kids‚ their action are not the same so there's no double standard regarding #the particular action of sacrificing Iphigenia. In fiction that kind of betrayal makes characters often unlikeable' #I guess that action 'stains' the view under which Agamemnon's actions are seen and so his character is often seen under a darker light #He is presented a bit as an antagonistic presence opposed to Achilles who is very popular so I guess that also influences this? #Anyway I've been elated by the musical causing Odysseus art and posts but I do have noticed that he is very goodified in it and that #it has influenced how he is being regarded around here (the way it happened with The Song of Achilles as well I suppose) #And I must say I like that less. He is shitty in a fun way but not in a light way. He is very shitty #Definitely not better than Agamemnon depending on the perspective you take. I can't believe I'm 'defending' Agamemnon #He is not my thing at all I'm all for selfish actions for oneself and the loved ones through manipulation‚ #lies and scams and letting the world drown if needed. In fiction Lancelot's‚ Odysseus' and Heathcliff's actions are a lot more preferible #to me than Galahad's‚ Agamemnon's and Edgar's. But yeah #I ALSO didn't want to go there because again it would have take me forever and I would run out of tags (yet here I am) #but there's also a Priam/Hector/Paris comparison in how they act and how they're regarded to be drawn here #Agamemnon/Iphigenia‚ Priam/Hector/Paris‚ Odysseus/Telemachus. And that is not even including everything with Elektra/Clytemnestra/Orestes #or Oedipus and his own family for that matter #But yes. I'll better shut up already. I'm talking a lot more than I intended #I just found that discussion super enthralling and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I still can't #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[standfucker]

It sucks that the best way to get more interaction with your work is to post frequently. Because I can't do that. Too tired, too ill. But I still want people to look at my stuff, you know?

#i don't really care to write headcanons/bullet point style things #i need to write out a whole ass story #i know I've more or less just started in regards to posting my work so there's not a lot yet #but still... #is this selfish of me? idk man